#and yet it feels like we're not allowed to talk about them
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I just desperately want more recognition of traumagenic experiences that lie outside of the usual "childhood abuse" assumption that everyone forces on that label. what about trauma from bullying? what about trauma from undiagnosed illnesses? what about trauma from queer experiences like transphobia? what about trauma from medical experiences like surgeries, hospitalizations, psych wards, and other areas where the medical field failed you? what about trauma from eating disorders? what about trauma from racism?
there are so many experiences that can fall under traumagenic, but are yet swept under a rug in favor of a strict, stereotypical narrative that's easier to comprehend. I think we as a community need to make an active effort to expand our understanding of traumagenic, especially where it may overlap with experiences traditionally considered endogenic, and understand that trauma can come in so many different forms. so often people are shunned for trying to create roles and labels that describe their specific traumagenic experiences, and I don't understand why. there can be no progress towards acceptance for all systems if we don't accept that traumagenic is an umbrella label too.
#dollerium speaks#🎠 | reona (he/she/doll/bun/eld/spell)#this came out very rambly#but just know if you have trauma that's considered 'not traditional' or 'not enough'#I see you and I appreciate you#plural#plural things#actually plural#pluralgang#plural system#actually did#hc did system#did osdd#a lot of these are things we experienced in life that 100% contributed to our system's function#and yet it feels like we're not allowed to talk about them#because they're not the 'usual' accepted trauma that's discussed in traumagenic spaces#pro endo#endo safe#endo safe blog
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i love it when you see a brain dead rancid ass take made in bad faith and you click on the profile and see 'minor' in the description like yeah that tracks
#yknow we were all young and stupid#but i feel like back in my day we didnt act like we knew better#and then antagonize our elders when they challenged us on our bad logic#and then when the elders spoke factually turn around and insult them or obfuscate#'why r u arguing with a minor'#bc ur a netizen and youre being stupid#talkin bout shit that you have no clue about#im not talking about fandom shit btw im talking about real life things#to add on to this--#being a minor isnt an excuse to go around insulting ppl#if you say dumb shit online ppl are allowed to disagree with you#i hate how a lot of young ppl today pick fights and then try to play victim#i esp hate it when they go 'we're minors our brains arent fully developed yet'#oh so you mean your logic is unreliable & you lack experience???#THEN LISTEN TO THE PPL OLDER THAN YOU
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if you're trans and someone feels uncertain and doesn't want to fuck you and give control over its whole life to you and would probably feel way more comfortable just being friends with you then it must be because it has some secret evil motives for it and therefore deserves to be trapped and tortured that's how y'all sound about your fish
#i don't want to be friends with her i'll punch her so hard she'll forget i even exist if she ever as much as touches me#even if it was somehow some sort of misunderstanding#which it wasn't#the way she always acted about it and everything that happened after are very telling and atrocious#if you're trans you have to live and stop acting so stupid irresponsible and uncaring about everything that happens around you so long as >#>> there are random sea monsters in the world you can exploit and blame for just about anything and have fun abusing how about that :\#can't put on a stupid mask in public or go vote in order to prevent people like freaking musk and trump from gaining stupid amount of power#yet i *supposedly* have to do *all that* to myself and almost certainly end up having even less control over or understanding of my life >>#>> anyway and many other important as hell things as well#just to make some abusers who can't stand accountability of any kind whatsoever feel good about themselves essentially#and be allowed some “ultimate power” i guess🙄#for “fun” and good reasons only sure#the world must really be cursed if it's you loser cultists i happened to know so intimately#i miss brook being normal :c#man i thought it's probably just the initial reaction but it's so funny what state thinking about this puts me in#consistently as it turns out#like a sheer eyes blurry just straight up panic#freeze response#and it's like it's everywhere#not like it worked with anyone else involved at all#am i supposed to say something else here or like not i don't know what to say#not like it doesn't make sense or anything#and i mean it still fits into this whole everything awful is forever certain and there's only one way to feel better about it#and there's comfort in that#so like it just happens like that i guess#c':#damn giving them tactical advantages for if we're ever in a knife fight Iike crazy :D#like or something i don't know i already talked about how i feel about knives + using something like that on them combination right#ten million c': emojis#i'd just hit escape🐈⬛✨
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Oct. 15th, 2024
I was a little too high when I got to work tonight and my manager (whom I'm pretty sure thinks I'm cute and/or has a crush on me cause she lowkey acts flirty with me) was wearing a hella attractive fit with a new top that I haven't seen her wear yet & tbh she was serving hot eccentric corporate femme realness. I literally was just so focused on how good she looked & practically tuned out the work stuff she was filling me in on. All I could think was "She looks so fucking good I'm such a fucking lesbian oh my god...."
"Ok good to know," As soon as it was my turn to talk I didn't even bother addressing whatever work thing she was conveying to me and gave the blouse a quick look up, saying, "I just want to say I love that shirt btw! You look.....really nice in it." (had to pause for a second because my high ass opened my mouth to say like "you look good as hell/you look hella good" which i knew would be a little too inappropriate to say, especially considering one of the pm desk girls, May, was standing like 4 feet away from us at the other desk, and she hates Alice and is also a gossip so...) After i said that, her face immediately lit up with a beaming smile, she started saying 'thank you' and other stuff while sputtering, then she goes "I could kiss you for that!"
When I tell you it shocked me so hard and was so unexpected that my face instantly turned into the 😳 emoji, I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. I could feel my face getting flush (I turn pink really easily when I'm too warm, doing extraneous physical work, anxious, embarrassed, flustered etc. so its not like i could hide it from her.) Like exCUSE ME??? What was that, ma'am??? What to run that by me again?
I think she noticed my shock and the fact that it got quiet for like .5 seconds and she laughed loudly, backpeddeling, saying like "I'm kidding, I'm kidding!!! I'm so sorry, no seriously, I'm just joking. You're face was so funny though haha 😅" I'm just standing there shocked and trying to recover from that curveball, but in hindsight like.....it's ok girly, if you're gonna say it then say it with your chest. Like I'm sorry, what was that? I don't think I heard you very well. You're gonna have to speak up, don't be shy lmao. When she started apologizing I actually opened my mouth to say "It's ok even if you weren't joking haha," but I clamped my mouth shut because, again, gossipy coworker just feet away from us and I'm not trying to get Alice or myself in trouble. Needless to say that's what it took for me to finally be aware that like, oh shit maybe she actually has been flirting with me for months??
#im pretty sure shes het though. like she gives bi vibes but ive never heard her talk about women or her sexuality or anything lgbtq so idk#she also talks off & on about finding a rich husband/finding a husband to settle down and have a family with. so maybe bi but comp het idk#anyway more stories to come because ive written them all down & ever since that instance its just gotten more obvious#i will not/nor do i want to pursue this in any way though. shes too young for me (22) & im currently dating someone i really really like#i mean we're only casually dating but we've both established that we're only talking to each other atm. we dont have a label though#we both are in agreement that because our schedules only allow us to meet up once per week (sometimes less) we can see/talk to other people#if we feel the need to as long as we communicate that. i talked to my best friend if i should tell Tori or not & they strongly suggested no#because the way they put it is Tori has verbally established with me that they dont want to label us/make anything official yet#since we can only see each other few/far between. so if i ask tori about this it'll force them into a position where they HAVE to label us#and theyre obviously not ready for that & i dont want to make them feel pressured because i do genuinely click with them#and i fully enjoy the time we spend together & we've both established that we're really attracted to each other. we just dont have the time#and the 3rd/4th reasons i wont actually pursue Alice is that 3. she's my manager so thats very much so not allowed#4. i know neither of us is going to quit/transfer properties just for a fling. i dont mind flirting but thats as far as im letting this go#but anyway yeah. this is what kicked all this off & ultimately led to me making this blog#so im officially the token lesbian at work that the straight girl flirts with lmao#text
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At your mercy
ʚ pairing: sylus x reader

ʚ cont: fem reader, switch!sylus & reader, “good boy” kink, dirty talk, teasing, restraints, riding, masturbation, finger sucking, nipple play
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI
“So…” You drawl, prowling around Sylus like a predator. He’s strapped to a chair, his arms bound behind his back while his legs are secured around the legs of the chair, spread wide. “How does it feel to be the one tied up and at my mercy?” Your foot presses between his spread legs, and his hips leave the chair as he scoots down, giving you more access between them.
Tilting his head back, his crimson gaze rakes down the length of your leg hungrily. “I’m at your mercy now?” He hums a thoughtful sound, gaze laser focused on your heel clad foot that slowly inches towards the bulge between his thighs. “Have you thought to consider I’m allowing myself to be at your mercy?”
Narrowing your eyes, you place your foot back on the ground and stand between his legs. You reach out to touch his chest, finger trailing from the column of his pale neck to where the first button of his shirt is undone. He gasps. “You do look like someone who is awfully willing to submit, right now.”
He laughs, but it sounds breathy when you teasing undo the buttons down his torso. Each scrape of your nails against sensitive skin makes his breath hitch. “Perhaps I’m being so still because the look on your face is too sweet to ruin. You look awfully confident right now, kitten.”
You hum, peeling open his shirt and pulling it out from where it’s tucked into his pants. It flares out, exposing his impossibly defined abs, and a chest that is rising and falling too quickly, betraying his calm demeanor. But you could tell his impatience from the bulge in his pants as well–and from how he was spreading his legs wider, he wasn’t ashamed of his reaction. “Having the leader of Onychinus like this…”
A half sigh half grumble vibrates in his throat when you undo the belt around his hips, clanking noisily in his quiet room, save for the soft music playing on vinyl in the background. “Heady? Your cheeks are flushed.”
His hips raise when you slide the belt through the loops, gathering it in your hands before discarding it to the floor. “You should see yourself.” He watches with rapt attention as you lean in and brush a finger over his pert nipple. He gasps at the featherlight touch, abdomen clenching. “You’re even red here.”
Sylus grunts, and the excitement in his pants twitches hard enough to be shown through his dark pants. With each touch, his eyes grow more lidded, until he almost looks tired, but you know he’s anything but.
Flicking your finger over his nipple for the last time, he grunts and jerks against his restraints when you pull away. “Sensitive?” You ask.
His smirk is dizzying. “I enjoy everything you do to me.”
With a mischievous look on your face, you wrap your arms around his waist and settle into his lap. His reaction is immediate. His deep groan finds its way to your core, making you clench around nothing. You can feel him so clearly under you, throbbing and twitching like crazy.
Lust filled eyes meet yours. “Getting excited? I thought this was supposed to be torturous for me?” He gasps, lips parting when you roll your hips against his bulge, trying not to show how much it affects you.
“So this isn’t? Me grinding on you like this, knowing we're so close, yet so far…” You lean in and lower your voice, speaking against the shell of his ear. “Knowing I’m dripping for you and you can do nothing about it, because I am in control… That isn’t torturous?”
When he doesn’t respond, you pull back and smile at the drunk look on his face. All teasing is gone, the look he gives you is almost scary, intimidating, and if he wasn’t restrained, you might have lost confidence. But you were in charge, so he could stare at you with pleading looks filled with dark promises all he wanted.
He parts his lips when you lean in, expecting a kiss, but you divert to his neck instead, laying kiss after kiss in his most sensitive points. He groans, and you can feel the vibrations pressed against you. His hips thrust upwards, and it feels too good to reprimand him verbally, so you instead sink your teeth into his skin.
His reaction is immediate. He laughs through a groan, biceps straining when he struggles. “So rough, kitten.” He thrusts his hip upwards again, and you respond with another bite. He grunts, gasping heavily. “So that’s it, this is my punishment for being greedy.”
Pulling away, your lips feel swollen when you look down at him. “And you’re not being a very good boy.” He groans at the name, and something inside your head clicks open and malfunctions.
Sylus. The leader of Onychinus, just moaned at being called a good boy.
“You moved on purpose because you wanted me to bite you, didn’t you?” You ignored the feeling of losing control in your mind, pretending to have composure and not give away that you had probably soaked through your panties.
Sylus cocks his head to the side, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Pinching his chin, you tilt his head upwards, fingers finding his neglected nipple at the same time. His stuttered, deep groan and half eye roll nearly makes you cum. “Good boy’s don't lie, Sylus.”
He smiles, and he looks ruined. “Then punish me. I’ve been bad.”
It took an insurmountable amount of strength not to whip his dick out and sit on it in one go. He had to be punished first.
He groaned when you slid off his lap, purposefully pressing down on him while you did. Then, you dropped to your knees and parted his thighs. “Careful kitten, you don’t look like you’re getting ready to punish me down there.”
You smiled, not diverting your eyes away even while your fingers found his fly and unzipped it. His legs twitched. You pulled his slacks down a few inches, with his help of him raising his hips. They sat low on his ass, giving you just enough room to pull him out. But not before a little teasing.
You ran your fingers along the soft white hairs on his pelvis, dangerously closed to the half slack-half boxer covered monster in his pants. He thrust upwards, and you retaliated by pinching what little fat he had on the side of his hips, making his cock twitch.
“Pinching now?” He gasped, the deep baritone of his voice growing more gravely with his arousal.
You ran your hands up and down his muscled thighs, occasionally teasing his pelvis with your nails. “Down here didn’t seem to hate it so much.” Pressing the points of your nails against his naval, you scratched down his skin with little force, enough to leave red marks on his pale skin. His gasp was loud, followed by smaller grunts and heavy breathing. “Yeah, I don’t think you hate pain at all.”
He laughed at that, the sound expensive and rich. “I told you once before, kitten, I like everything you do to me. Scratch me, bite me, tease me, do whatever you want with me.”
Eyes on his, you dipped your fingers under the band of his boxers and grabbed the base of his cock. He inhaled sharply, like he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs fast enough. “Even if I don’t put this inside me tonight?”
His eyes flickered to your hand that pulled him out of his boxers, pants still on his waist. He looked good like this, half dressed and disheveled, with a drunk expression. “I’m not worried about that.” He replied confidently.
When you released him, he throbbed repeatedly, pearls of pre-cum beading on his tip before dripping onto his pants, leaving a sticky mess. “So confident.” Laying your head on his thigh just inches from his length. You caress his cock starting from the underside with a single finger, drawing it upwards until you reach the wet tip.
Sylus is breathing noisily now, chest rising quickly with his suppressed moans. His bottom lip gets pulled between his teeth when you rub his wetness around the head. “Does this feel good, Sylus?”
He smiles, and it’s a beautiful thing. “Very good, kitten. Your fingers are so soft.” His heavy arousal bobs in front of you when you continue to collect his wetness on your fingers.
Pulling away, you sit back on your ass and spread your thighs, rubbing his pre together on the tips of your fingers. Sylus continues to spill on his pants, breathing heavily as he watches you. “What are you doing, sweetie?”
“You said my fingers were soft, I wanted to see for myself.” His lips part when you lift your dress and expose your panty-clad pussy to him, which is of course, soaked. You lift the band and slide your fingers in, not moving the fabric so he can see.
You groan in unison when you rub his mess around on your clit. Sylus struggles more now, looking pained to watch you touch yourself in front of him.
You gasp, running your fingers through your folds, spreading your legs to give him no real view. “You were right, s–so soft.”
His eyes are glued to your cunt, biceps bulge with his incessant pulling at his restraints, and the pool of cum on his pants is now so big it looks like he already came all over himself. “I have much, much more where that came from, sweetie.” He purrs.
You dip your fingers inside, and he moans watching you, even if his view is muted through the fabric. “Fuck.”
“I could fill you with me.” He says, groaning though you don’t miss the plea in his tone. “Anything you want.” He says, before shaking his head. “I know it wants to feel me, such a hot little thing, begging for me to fill it.”
You gasp, plunging two fingers in and out of yourself. “Sylus.”
Sylus’s gasps are stuttered. “Yes, kitten, let me help you. Use me. Sit on me and take everything I have to give.”
You open your eyes and meet his gaze, realizing you probably look as needy as him now.
He doesn’t look cocky when you pull your fingers out, though his fingers do lock onto them. He doesn’t even look triumphant when you spread your thighs around his hips and grip his base, pressing his soaked tip against your equally soaked entrance.
“What do you want?” You ask, gripping his cheeks with the hand you were masterbating with.
He grunts as you rub his tip through your folds, using him to rub your clit. “I want you to use me.”
You notch his head at your hole. “That’s it? Even if I finish before you and decide I don’t want your release? You'll take it?”
He nods, throat bobbing as he stares at your lips like a man starved. “Yes.” His voice is all gravel. “Use me.”
So you do.
Sliding onto him is bliss and agony, blending and swirling into pure relief in your gut. Sylus groans with you as you take him all at once, until you're seated on the mess of his pants. You don't spare a second before you hook your ankles on his thighs and start bouncing.
“Good boy,” you sigh, mess covered fingers slipping into his mouth. Sylus smiles around them before sucking, cleaning your fingers.
You impale yourself onto him over and over again, loving how good it hurts, loving how deep he fills you in his position. Your eyes roll back in your head and your head falls back. One hand steadies on his shoulder while the other pushes deeper into his mouth. He doesn’t even gag when you hit the back of his throat, but his eyes do water.
Yanking your fingers out, they’re sloppier than they were before, but Sylus has a big stupid grin on his face that wasn’t there before. “I could drown in you while you devour me.” Crimson eyes caress your face the way his hands would. “You look so beautiful taking what you need, what you deserve.”
“And what’s that?” You gasp, fingers finding your clit and rubbing hastily when his cock repeatedly thrusts into that sweet spot in your inner walls.
He leans in and whispers against your lips. “Everything.” Then, his mouth is on yours, and you devour each other. It’s a battle for dominance, one neither is winning nor losing, but its so aggressive and feral and needy, and you fucking love it.
His and your sounds slip from the cracks of your kiss, and the wetness on his thighs only makes you get there even faster.
Blindly reaching behind you, you dip your hand into his boxers and find his balls, pulling them out with his cock you cradle them in your hand. Sylus breaks from the kiss to hiss through his teeth.
You grab his jaw. “Bad boy, did I say you could stop kissing me?” He shakes his head, a proud expression on his face, lips curling up at the sides. “You said you would give me everything.” You whisper against him, rocking your hips in a wavelike motion, stoking that fire low in your stomach. “And you’re going to give it to me.”
Sylus nods, “Yes ma’am.” He huskily grunts, before taking your lips once more. The kiss is louder and more urgent than before, and saliva spills from your lips.
Rolling his balls in your hand, they quickly become wet with the two of you dripping from where you’re connected. With your finger between you and your hand on his neck, it doesn’t take much longer before you're tipping over the edge.
“Sylus!” You gasp, “H-help me.”
You start to shake, orgasming around his cock, and he grunts, balls falling from your hands as you wrap your arms around his neck and let him fuck you through your orgasm.
“Can I cum?” He groans, hips losing their rhythm. “I need to stop now if I can’t cum.”
You shake your head, twitching and writhing from the prolonged high as his thrusts get rougher and rougher. “Give me it. Give me everything you have.”
His moans hitch, and a loud snapping sound makes you flinch. His arms are around you then, and hes using the leverage to lift you up and down as he fucks his cum inside you. His thrusts are sloppy and mean as he jerks and twitches wildly, fucking his orgasm as deep as he can inside you.
The two of you are holding each other tightly when he comes down. His thighs shake violently under you, and you can feel his cock throb inside you, softening with his released load.
“Are you alright, sweetie?” He whispers into your hair. You nod, nails digging into his back, and he grunts. “I hope you’re satisfied, because I think I really did give you everything just then.”
You laugh before pulling back, locking your legs around his waist. You both gasp when his cock jolts inside you. “Maybe I should, after all, you did break your restraints.” You raise an eyebrow at him with mock irritation.
He simply smiles, caressing stray hair from your face before tucking it behind your ear. “Do what you want with me, but don’t be surprised when you ring me out again and I’m dry.”
That makes you snort. “Would it hurt? To cum like that?” He goes to answer and you press your fingers to his lips. “I almost forgot about your fondness for pain.”
His laugh is deep, and it warms not only your heart but your entire body. Then, he leans back and gestures to his body. “As you wish.”
You laugh, falling into his chest as his humor blends with yours. You hold each other like that until the ache between your legs from him is too much, and he lifts you off.
#lads smut#sylus x reader#love and deepspace sylus#lads sylus#sylus x mc#lnds sylus#l&ds sylus#sylus#sylus x you#sylus smut#love and deepspace#love and deepspace smut
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people have to make their own choices and make their own mistakes and you know that but you're on your third gin cocktail.
she's almost-angry while she talks. "he took the train with me. all the way home. it's an hour in the wrong direction." she's got a bright yellow raincoat and round glasses. she looks cute and thoughtful and like she reads books a lot. she's his type and you know that.
the bartender rolls her eyes and points to you. "he drove this one to her grandma's house. six hours both ways."
you were younger then, hadn't ever kissed a girl yet. were still saying "bicurious" because of your irish catholic family. it was so long ago skinny jeans were still socially acceptable.
and you'd met him, and he'd been perfect. his narrow face and dark hair and his wry self-deprecation. and - okay, yes, the fact he was a singer/songwriter was also hot. you liked the feeling of sundays with him, the two of you noodling through his new songs together while you slowly learned to play bass guitar. you liked writing his name on your converse. you liked his ironic "mom" tattoo and his fancy coffee obsession and his scrappy handwriting.
you didn't know, then, what kind of man he was. maybe he didn't either; he was young too. you say it into your earl-grey-gin-something. "he has... a playbook, i guess. the things he does... he does it with everyone."
she looks at you with wide, beautiful eyes. jesus christ, she's young. "we stood outside in the rain, just talking," she says. "i know that can't be fake. i have a ton of, like. examples here. he's a good guy. you should have seen him. i'm not, like, a complete idiot."
did you play defense attorney with him like this? did you bristle when others warned you about how quickly he leaves women?
you gnaw the thin black straw and stare at the other side of the building, where his band is setting up to play. you have no true rage against him, but it's not fun to watch him ruin other women. "did he get you a little stuffed animal yet?" yours had been a panda.
she stares at you and then nods, just once, stiffly.
you hold out your hand and start listing things, weighing them on your fingers. "did he tell you that he'd never seen someone like you, that you move like a dancer or something?" at her nod, you continue. "buys you ice cream and then drives up to the river to watch the stars? shows up at your place just because he missed your voice? takes you to the pet store to look at the fish?"
the bartender points at you. "don't forget he does that little dog game he does."
you close your eyes. you remember him in his stupid leather jacket, bouncing on his toes. he'd gotten the petstore clerk to allow him to handle a ferret. you had vibrated with joy, wrestling the noodle bodies from hand to hand. and then he'd said we're going to live together. we're going to get a big dog and a big lawn and -
"you get into a fake fight about what you'll name the dog," you monotone.
"chili," she says. she sets her jaw a little higher, and you catch a flash of muscle clenching. "we settled on chili. it's gonna be an irish setter."
the bartender snorts while she maneuvers deftly through making a batch of espresso martinis. "sounds about right. now i've got two rotties, but when that shit happened to me? we chose Portland. and we were gonna get a samoyed." she snorts again. "as if he could afford that grooming bill."
you had actually started that conversation in the pet store. you wanted a big, slobbery dog. a mutt, but a big mutt. something mastiff-like. something that you could walk alone at night with. your family has a tradition of "letting the dog name itself," where you'd write all the potential names on a piece of paper and then throw them. whatever the dog went to, it'd be the dog's name.
but he had said name it something girly since it's so big. he suggested Lavender or Pansy. at the time you'd thought it was funny and cut and sort of sweet. he wanted to pick up a dog from the ASPCA that weekend, he said. i'm gonna go get us Lavender. you hadn't learned yet that he would promise you a river but never even deliver a raindrop.
"it's like this every time, babe," the bartender says, not unkindly. "i'm sorry. i've seen too many like this, and you seem like a sweet kid."
the other woman bristles. "i'm not a kid. thanks for your advice. but." she stands up, slaps a ten down, stalks away.
the bartender looks at you and holds her hands up and shrugs. you shake your head and look down into the drink, stirring it idly.
"do you think he's written her the four lines yet?" the bartender asks, pushing a drink to someone.
you almost flinch, but don't. you'd been in the back shed, practicing together. he said he had a present for you - the beginnings of a new song. really just a couplet more than anything, barely more than 30 seconds. it should have made you feel glorious, feral, glowing.
but you had stood there, realizing you had books of songs about him, none of which he ever agreed to play. the song he'd written you had floated through the room and you felt strange and disconnected and insane all at once - it was such a vapid, stupid stanza he'd made. and then he said that terrible phrase - i love you babe.
and you had been suddenly both very out of your body and also very present, thinking: oh my god this guy is a buffoon and i'm wasting my time. the spiralbound notebook with pages of poems and lyrics and stories you'd written for him is now stashed in some rubbermaid. you'd wanted to burn it at first, but the effort had exhausted you.
the four lines of song are usually pretty banal - something about her eyes, something about her smile, something about how she's special. but they work. they always work, because people want to believe in the magical commodity of love - that it cannot be manufactured.
later in the night you watch that man get on stage and sing punk rock to a thinning crowd. he takes the time out of the setlist to try out a "new song" that goes out to his girl in the crowd, all of 30 seconds of music. he says he likes her eyes and her smile and she's special.
you think about stopping her physically. you think about showing her the group chat of exes in your phone. you think of how young she is - maybe 22? - and how you, at 22, would have told your current self fuck right off. you had believed it too, after all. people need to make their own choices. besides. maybe you're wrong. maybe this time it actually is that precious, starry, once-in-a-lifetime love.
you see her kiss him afterwards, her cheeks pink. it looks like a puppy being swallowed by a wolf. you have to check the floor to make sure no blood was spilled.
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“Daddy’s Home”
Telling the LADS Men you're pregnant. The setting? Happily Married and both parties want kids. Nothing but fluff here (All these men are substantially financially stable and I love that for us)

Zayne
MC: Zayne I have something important to tell you
Zayne: I'm listening
MC: Im pregnant
Zayne: ....
MC: Baby?
Zayne: Im going to be a father?
MC: Yes we're having a baby
Zayne: I need to childproof the house. I'll need to work more hours.
MC: You already work inhuman hours
Zayne: We need a bigger house. Should I build it? I should build it. Why are you standing? You shouldn't be on your feet
MC: Sir I am 2 minutes pregnant we have time to prepare for this bundle of joy
Zayne: They'll need a college fund, driving lessons, a tutor...
Zayne continues mumbling and mulling over every single detail to himself
MC: I guess I'll relax enough for the both of us

Rafayel
MC: Raf sit down I need to tell you something
Rafayel: Why do I need to sit down?
MC: Its safer
Rafayel: My Lemurian senses are tingling but I'll trust you
MC: Okay breath in
Rafayel: *breathes in*
MC: now breath out
Rafayel: *breathes out*
MC: I'm pregnant
Rafayel: *Chokes on his spit* WHAT!
MC: Im 2 months pregnant
Rafayel: I'm gonna be a mother????
MC: No you're gonna be a father
Rafayel: Can I handle this? Can I still eat seafood? Am I allowed to swim in the ocean?
MC: Why are you acting like you're the one carrying twins?
Rafayel: TWINS?! I GET A TWO FOR ONE DEAL?!
MC: What am I? A yard sale?? Don't say it like that
Rafayel: You’re really pregnant?
Rafayel grabs your hands and holds them to his chest where you can feel his heart racing
MC: Yes we’re going to be parents
Rafayel: you....and i....preg-.... twi-
MC: don't pass out please don't pass out right now
Rafayel: *Passes out anyway*

Xavier
MC: Xavier?
Xavier who was currently laying with his head buried in your lap with his arms wrapped around your waist.
Xavier: Hmm?
MC: Do you want a baby? With me?
Xavier rubbing small circles on your lower back with his thumb as he stirred in his sleepy state
Xavier: I want everything with you
MC: Good
Xavier: *Dozing off*
MC: Because I’m pregnant
Xavier: That’s great
MC: …
Xavier: …
MC: and 3….2……..1
Xavier: Wait what ???
MC: You heard me
Xavier: So I’m a dad?
MC: Father to be
Xavier: We have to start their swordsmanship training right away
MC: How about we take it slow like letting them grow in my stomach first?
Xavier: Oh I guess you’re probably right
MC: yea now lay back down
Xavier snuggles right back into your lap placing soft kisses on your stomach that isn’t even showing yet
Xavier: My little angel

Sylus
MC: I need your help how would you tell someone they're a father?
Luke: Im a father?!
MC: Luke shut up
Kieran: *Shoves Luke*
Luke: Sorry
MC: I just don't know how to tell Sylus
Sylus: Tell me what?
Kieran: Me and Luke are uncles now!
MC: Kieran!
Sylus: You’re pregnant?
MC: *Shows the pregnancy test* We’re having a baby
Sylus: Looks as though my efforts weren’t in vain
MC: You were trying to get me pregnant?
Sylus: Why do you think I constantly had you in a mating press?
MC: Sylus! Don’t talk like that in front of the twins
Sylus: *chuckles* I can’t wait to see you plump and glowing with our child princess
Later….
Kieran: I can’t wait to teach them sarcasm
Luke: I’m definitely doing everything their strict parents tell them not to do
Sylus: You two. Sidebar. In my office. Now.
MC, In the background: ooouu you guys are in trouble … bad uncles and the baby isn’t even here yet
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#lnds sylus#sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lads#lads rafayel#lads zayne#lads xavier#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#nikaaaaimagine
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Eddie seemed to have zero impulse control when he's not actively thinking about it. After Vecna Eddie moved in with Steve because he and Wayne didn't have a new place yet, plus, Wayne was living out of a motel. It was not a place for someone with wounds like his. Also, he was still waiting to be cleared of all charges. Steve was well enough to take care of Eddie. The metalhead was still in a lot of pain and on as many painkillers as he was allowed the first time that it happened. Steve was leaning over to fluff his pillows, and his lips were close to Eddie's face. It was all Steve’s fault, really. Eddie was thinking about how pretty his lips were when he decided to grab Steve by the back of the neck.
"What are - MMHH!"
Eddie brought his lips to his, and it was the sweetest kiss that Steve had ever experienced. It had left his lips feeling all tingly. Steve could easily pass it off on the fact that Eddie was high, and that was exactly what he did do. He never brought it up or told anyone about it. . .not even Robin. He really couldn't ignore it, though, when it happened a second time.
Eddie was feeling a lot better and could move around the house a lot more. Steve had finally been able to cook dinner for the both of them after living off other people's cooking and takeout while they both healed. They had finished eating when Eddie lumbered over to him and spun him around, cupping his face.
"That was the best home-cooked meal I've ever eaten - MUAH!" Eddie exclaimed, kissing him square on the mouth. "You go settle down. I'll handle the clean-up, big boy."
Steve had frozen a little. Surely, Eddie knew what he was doing? Since he hadn't brought it up, Steve decided not to bring it up either. . .except when it happened a third time. Eddie was completely healed, and he was able to be let out of the house since he was he officially cleared of all charges. He wanted to meet up with Corroded Coffin at Gareth's since they refused to come over to Steve's house despite the fact that Steve had told them they were welcome anytime. Even though he understood where they were coming from, it still stung that they refused to even try to get to know him. Anyways, Eddie was on his way out the door except for the fact that his keys were lying on the counter.
"Hey, did you forget something?" Steve asked.
"Oh, right," Eddie said, twirled around and kissed him while scooping up the keys. Then he was gone.
Okay, he really couldn't ignore it this time. Steve really needed to talk to someone about the kisses and about how much he liked them. He needed to know what that meant, and he knew exactly what kind of conversation this would turn out to be.
"Eddie keeps kissing me," Steve said as soon as Robin got in the car.
"I'm sorry, what?" Robin said, blinking.
"You know how Eddie's really affectionate," Steve replied. "Does it bother you when he kisses you?"
"Oh, you mean like kissing on the forehead and the cheek? No, I think it's sweet, actually," Robin said and rolled her eyes. "Are you feeling a little insecure in your masculinity because a man is getting a little affectionate with you?"
"What?! No, I don't mind getting affection from a man, Robin. You know I hug Argyle all the time," Steve said. "I'm just wondering why Eddie kisses me on the mouth and he doesn't do that with anyone else."
"Stop the car!" Robin screamed, and Steve pulled over the side, parking the car.
"Jesus, Robin!" Steve exclaimed.
"Eddie's been kissing you on the MOUTH?!" Robin asked.
"Yeah. He doesn't do that with you?" Steve asked.
"No, I think that's a treat only for you," Robin said.
"But why? We're both straight," Steve said. "I mean, I'm not trying to complain or anything, it's nice but why is he doing it?"
"You like it when he kisses you?" Robin asked.
"Yeah," Steve shrugged. "If I were into men, I'd be asking him on a date, but I'm not gay, Robin. . .well, maybe just for Eddie. Is it possible to be gay just for one person?"
"I mean, maybe, but I doubt that it's the case here," Robin said. "Usually, I would probably let you figure this out for yourself, but considering how long you kept it hidden that you like Nancy Drew, it might just take a while. . .do I have permission to rip off the band-aid?"
"Uh, yeah. I guess," Steve asked. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Oh, how the hell were you so sure about Vickie and completely clueless about yourself?" Robin asked.
"Are you still on it that I totally called it about Vickie being a lesbian before you did?" Steve asked.
"She's not a lesbian, dingus," Robun said.
"Okay, I was pretty sure that you two were dating. Robin, she's clearly into you, so I'm pretty sure you have a shot," Steve said.
"Yeah, we are dating but she's not a lesbian," she said.
"I'm so confused," Steve said.
"In more ways than one," Robin said.
"Robin, we're going to be late for work," Steve said.
"Vickie is a bisexual," Robin said. "She likes more than one gender."
"Oh. . .oh, like David Bowie!" Steve exclaimed. "Right?!"
"Right," Robin said.
"Oh my god!" Steve said. "My Tom Cruise obsession suddenly makes sense - I didn't want to be him - "
"Not to mention, all those times you've stared openly at Eddie along with his posters of Eddie Van Halen and Kirt Hammel. . . "
"Kirk Hammett, Robin," Steve scoffed. "Eddie would rip you a new one for getting that one wrong."
"But you knew it because Eddie did," Robin said.
"I like him," Steve said with wide eyes.
"Yeah, buddy. Are you going to need a minute?" Robin said.
"Nah, I'm fine. I actually feel really good about it," Steve grinned.
"Not even a little freak out?" She asked.
"Nope!"
"Lucky bitch," Robin muttered.
"I'm sorry, the next time I have a realization about myself, I'll make sure to give you the freak out that you deserve," Steve said.
"That's all I'm asking," Robin said.
They spent the morning shift talking about Eddie and what he'd say to him once he got home. Steve debated on giving him flowers or not, or a stuff animal. He decided on a stuffed animal because that was more permanent, as Robin had pointed out. They were just about to take their break for lunch when Eddie strolled in.
"Hey," Steve said brightly. "I was just thinking about you."
"Yeah?" Eddie asked and leaned against the counter. "That's good to know."
Eddie leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips. This time, Steve responded to it, cupping Eddie's face as he deepened the kiss. He could feel Eddie smile against his lips. Steve heard Robin scrambling to lock the front door and close the newly installed blinds. Eddie wrapped his arms around him, nearly climbing over the counter to do it. Finally, Robin coughed loudly and they broke apart.
"Hi," Steve said breathlessly.
"Hi," Eddie said. "I got something for you."
He climbed over the counter and sat down in front of him. He pulled out a rock and handed it to Steve.
"It looks like a guitar pick," Steve said with a grin.
"I thought you could use it for good luck," Eddie said.
"That's very sweet, thank you," Steve said, blushing. "I'm going to keep it forever."
"So, your boyfriend did good?" Eddie asked.
"Boyfriend?" Steve asked.
"Yeah, I know we're taking things slow, but I was hoping that you'd consider me being your boyfriend," Eddie said.
"Yeah, uh, it's just - it might be the concussions, but I don't remember asking you out or you asking me out," Steve said.
"Oh, you definitely asked me out," Eddie said.
"Oh, God, Robin. The doctor said if I started having memory problems - " Steve said with wide eyes. "I'd definitely remember asking you out."
"Honey! I'm sure it's fine!" Eddie exclaimed. "Robin was there, she'll tell you!"
"I was NOT!" Robin yelled, her eyes going wide. "Or was I? Oh, god, what if I hit my head and I don't remember?! I'd remember my best friend asking out a man!"
"Okay, don't panic, Robin, we'll call Hopper - " Steve started to say.
"You really don't remember?!" Eddie shrieked.
"No!" Robin and Steve yelled.
"Seriously, Robin, you were there, and you turned into a giant duck which, by the way, is rude because you know about my fear of ducks!" Eddie yelled.
"Oh, Eddie, goddamnit, was this a dream?" Steve asked.
"You know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, I think it might have been a dream," Eddie said.
"Okay, those looks you've been giving me make a lot more sense," Robin said. "Have you been living in fear of me randomly turning into a duck, like I'm some sort of. . .wereduck?"
"I don't know, your name's Robin, and we've all been through crazy shit. . .anything is possible," Eddie said.
"Aww, and you've hugged me even though you're scared of ducks," Robin cooed.
"Well, it's my fear, my responsibility. It's not your fault," Eddie said and then looked at her. "But you're not, though, right?"
"No, Eddie," she said softly and then affectionately, "You dingus."
"This whole time. . .," Eddie trailed off. "We haven't actually been dating. You never asked me out."
Eddie started to scramble off of the counter when Steve grabbed him and pulled him back.
"Let's fix that. . .Eddie Munson, do you want to be my boyfriend?" Steve asked.
"Fuck yeah, I do," Eddie grinned.
He grabbed the back of Steve’s head and crashed their lips together. Eddie sighed and leaned his forehead against Steve’s.
"No one better fucking wake me up," Eddie breathed and Steve laughed.
"Oh God! I think my nose is turning into a bill - quack, quack!"
"Robin!"
#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#eddie stranger things#eddie munson lives#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#bisexual steve harrington#bisexual eddie munson#bi4bi#idiot4idiot#dingus4dingus#bi as hell bi the way#robin buckley#lesbian robin buckley#robin & steve#platonic stobin#platonic soulmates#platonic with a capital p#robin & eddie#platonic reddie#stranger things fanfiction#rueleigh writes
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About Sentry, Void and what they're really like
Sentry, Void and Bob are all the same, they have the same traumas, fears, self-doubts and insecurities, because they are one person. The only difference is that Sentry has powers (he is Bob’s mania; mania – feeling that you can do anything; this feeling + serum = Sentry, who bc of the serum actually can do anything. That’s the only thing he’s confident in – his invincibility, his superpowers, that will allow him to do whatever he wants, because that’s what he is, but that’s it (!), because he’s still Bob). And then there is Void, who’s about absolute loneliness and hopelessness.
Some may be confused by the way they talk about each other, as if they’re separate personalities (for example, Bob calling Void "it", Sentry saying to Val "it's not Robert you need to be afraid of" and when John calls him Bobby, corrects him by saying "you can call me Sentry", Bob not remembering anything (at first) after Sentry or Void take over, or how Void was talking to Bob at the end), SO I’m adding what i wrote in other posts here:
THEY separate themselves from each other, of course they do, they are not his normal self, they are his mental disorder.
A bit more about it:
Bob has mental illnesses inherited from his mother and his own (as a result of a terrible life). The main one is bipolar, almost certainly passed down from his mom.
After he was injected with the serum it was like his bipolar was pumped with the strongest steroids and now his mental illness exists beyond human levels, as Sentry and Void (Mel talked about this, that give a serum to someone like Bob and who knows what will happen. Well now we know).
Moving on to the next one:
the key moment that a lot of people don’t seem to understand: they have never known love or care, never had a single person who was even a little worried about them or genuinely cared for them. They have zero confidence that anyone will ever need them, even more than that, they are sure of the opposite. They are very traumatized, all of them, they suffer exactly the same, because they are one.
I didn't think it was necessary to write about it because it's literally shown in every scene, but I'm shocked at how many people didn't get it at all, so.
With Bob himself, I think it's all clear to everyone, thankfully.
About Void:
He repeats throughout the movie that they (Bob/Sentry/Void) will always be alone, he says this to both Bob and Yelena (even though she hugs Bob at this moment, and yet)


He also says "you think they care about you? you don’t matter to anyone" and "the most shameful thing of all is thinking you could be anything more than nothing".




For him, there is no hope. He doesn't believe anyone will ever stay with them because all their life no one ever did, everyone always left/betrayed/hurt them. He also doesn’t believe that they’ll ever be worth anything at all, that they’ll be anything at all to anyone. The way he keeps confidently repeating that they will always be alone shows that he has given up hope that someone will ever truly love them (and that’s how he’s supposed to be, he’s Bob’s darkest thoughts and fears). He's not a mystical tough guy as a lot of people love to portray. He's a severe depression (literally), an absolute hopeless loneliness (and it’s obvious, it’s all in his name).
About Sentry:
(and all the times we're shown that it's literally just Bob with powers)
1) Desire to be praised and loved
The first person who says a kind word to him, tells him that he is worth something, he immediately follows that person and does whatever he is told, even though he is not sure that he wants to. He does it to please, to be useful, finally believing in himself because of her and wanting to prove her right.




2) Kindness
Him being kind to those who he'd known for a couple days at most, and not even through his “own eyes”.
He listens to Valentina, even when she says she plans to use him so she won't be impeached. He's okay with that. Until she gives him the order to kill the bolts. He doesn't want to do that, even though this is the first time he's interacted with them himself, only having seen them through “Bob's eyes”. He doesn't want to hurt them, and he tells them that. He offers them to surrender and he offers it sincerely, smiling awkwardly and shrugging his shoulders, nodding a little at the thought that it's a good suggestion:

He doesn't even attack them; it's Alexei who jumps on him first, screaming.
And even when they come at him with knives and bullets, he just pushes John, Yelena and Ava away most of the time (he doesn't know Bucky and Alexei, so it's different with them).
All of that screams in everyone’s faces that he's not "I'm going to kill everyone, I'm so badass" (like some people hilariously think) but that he won’t really hurt anyone who isn't a threat to him (even if they kinda tried to hurt him, but he knows their intentions, so he’s not upset with them). He calmly and kindly asked them to surrender, again because he's trying to please Valentina, but also because he didn’t want to fight them (just because Bob knew them for a day and they helped him).
3) Insecurity
As soon as the guys don't even ridicule him, but just ask him what's wrong with his hair and the way he looks, he can't leave this topic alone, he gets all worked up, saying he doesn't like it, even though Valentina tells him to leave it alone and not to let other people's words affect him.




It shows that his giant ego is only related to his great strength, but he has no self-confidence in anything else.
4) The realization that yet another person is trying to tell him how to live and what to do:
To her "you need to do what i say" he simply asks why.




He thought they were going to act as a team, but it turns out they want to put a leash on him, and he won't let that happen. He's part of Bob, and Bob has lived his whole life under someone else's commands and orders.
Sentry is also honestly tells her that she doesn't know what he's capable of, and he's right, she doesn't.
That’s the only thing he’s so sure of, his strength. (again, ironically, because of her).
5) People betraying and hurting Bob (+Sentry/Void) all his life
This scene breaks my heart every fucking time.
When she reaches for the button to kill him.
Kill him because she doesn't care, like all the others before her.
Look at his face when he realized what she wanted to do.


And his words after, "You were gonna turn on me, just like the rest of them"

And that says EVERYTHING about Sentry (and Bob, and Void). About all of them and their severe trauma.
They want at least one person in their life who won't betray them or try to hurt them.
Sentry started listening to Valentina when she, again, only said a few kind words to him. He obediently did what she told him to do, even though he didn't want to, all so that someone would stand by him and tell him he was worth something.
And it ended just like so many times before in Bob’s life – no one cared about him as a person and about what he wanted.
All of Bob, all sides of him, want someone for the first time in their life to be there for them, support them and see their worth.
And the further it goes, the worse it gets:
Bob is hopeful, even though there’s so much pain and sadness in him.
Sentry is hopeful too, but there's an aggression in him when faced with attempts to trick him, to manipulate him again.
and Void – no hope at all.
And lastly, I'll add:
when Sentry becomes close to the bolts just as Bob is (as his normal self, not in his mania state), he will be ready to kill anyone for them and to die himself (which thankfully is almost impossible).
Everyone’s screaming that Bob is a sweetheart, but so is Sentry (and so is Void). And that’s a fact, that’s one human being.
They all want to be loved and understood and to matter to someone.
again quoting Florence Pugh
Bob – cute and sad
Sentry – trying and traumatized
and I’ll add from myself
Void – beyond depressed and hopeless
and I love all of them, all of Bob, very very much
#bob reynolds#robert reynolds#sentry#void#thunderbolts#thunderbolts*#edited a bit 🤏🏻#just to add some things#bob thunderbolts#sentryagent#voidwalker#lewis pullman#mcu#marvel
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Bothers me when I'm reading a fanfic and they make Doctor Leonard "Bones" McCoy just like. A mean asshole? MY Doctor McCoy introduced Spock to baby talk. MY Doctor McCoy bounces on his toes and has a smile bright as the sun. MY Doctor McCoy knocked Kirk *and* Spock out with a hypo to sacrifice himself for them even though the aliens said he was almost for sure going to die, and the other two would probably live. MY Doctor McCoy was like, hey, sure Spock committed mutiny, but do we really gotta arrest him? Yeah he's grumpy sometimes, but have you considered the fact that he's stuck on a ship in Space with two assholes that literally never listen?
I just watched the Abraham Lincoln episode and I stg it's a miracle McCoy isn't actually a huge asshole, because wym "this planet WAS deadly but Abraham Lincoln says it's cool so we're going" "hey, don't do that, you could beam down into lava and literally DIE" "Ugh shut UP McCoy we're following Abraham Lincoln onto the Lava Planet That WAS ENTIRELY LAVA until two minutes ago" dude I'd be swinging at a mfer. Especially if I was their doctor knowing it was going to be my job to sew them back together. They're absolute menaces to him and he still loves them and is willing to die for them every other episode.
And I don't ever want to see another "ahh he hates Spock" when he so obviously does not. In the last episode, he wasn't even sure that Kirk and Janice had swapped bodies and yet again, he was ready to commit mutiny with Spock and Scotty (why does Spock love mutiny? 🤨) He does like to rib Spock and get reactions out of him, but Spock likes to do it to McCoy just as much. He's been around humans his ENTIRE life, his mom is a human, he's half human, "I have no idea what you mean, Doctor, I'm just a simple little logic machine," you cannot convince me it's not a game.
And every time I feel like McCoy is being hurtful for actually no reason, the next scene is Spock taking action because of whatever McCoy had said and allowing himself to tap into that human part of him. He has a way of speaking Spock. It's not always nice but it's a way that gets through. Do you think asking Spock to use his Vulcan powers to permanently alter his friend and captain's memory so he forgets his grief over this chick he fell desperately for and then also she died in the span of like four hours is a great idea? No, he'd probably have some moral or logical issues with that. but just speech at him about love and feelings and stuff, throw something in there about how great it'd be if he could just forget, and he'll do it himself.
ANOTHER THING. When he's an asshole, he apologizes. He's not an asshole often, but when he is, he apologizes. Leonard McCoy is a lot of things, but he's not really a dick.
I think he deserves to be represented for the guy he is. He has SO many nice and good moments, he's just subtle about them. Remember when Kirk was like, "Bones, why didn't you tell me she was blind?" And he was like, "Idk Jim maybe because that'd be rude? Have you considered it's not your business?" REAL. Honestly, real.
This is a much longer rant than I meant for it to be and somehow I still have more I could say so imma cut myself off right here ❤️ If you read all that, thanks, you're just as weird as I am, even if you don't agree with my lil character analysis. If you didn't read all that, then you're not reading this ✨️
#leonard mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#character analysis#star trek tos#st tos#tos#doctor mccoy#fanfiction#rant post#spock#he deserves some love#I'm just so tired of him being MISUNDERSTOOD like is it on purpose#bones mccoy#bones tos#bonesposting
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Tyler Owens and shy reader you say? Who gets flustered every time he looks at them? Who hides their face in his chest to “escape” his gaze? Tyler who wants to kiss her so bad and she’s so flustered.


Hide and Seek - Tyler Owens x Reader
come participate in tyler owens night !

Seeing Tyler Owens while out pumping gas was all you'd needed to know that you weren't the type of person to be capable of dating him. He was all outgoing smiles, signatures thrown here and there to an adoring crowd, and you'd tucked your head to your chest as if it would make the tank fill faster to your rental car.
Well, truck, really, because that had been the only vehicle the agency hadn't rented out yet. You'd needed the truck for only a day, just to get to work and back when your car was in the shop, but its gaudy red exterior had caught Tyler's attention and he'd called over to you from the opposite end of the station.
"Hey there, Red. Nice truck you got."
You'd never know scrutiny like you came to know when his entire crew of both teammates and fans turned to watch you, and he seemed to realize that you weren't up for all of the attention.
"We're breaking for ten," He'd called, and evidently that was enough to let his gaggle of fans disperse until their leader was ready to rev his engine again.
He'd hopped down from his own red truck with the stomp of boots on concrete, and you turned back to the pump desperately hoping he wouldn't talk to you. Unfortunately, a group of three people, him and two of his crew, started for you. You'd felt your heart rate pick up but the second they started to move with him he'd shoved them away, a playful maneuver but one that clearly said back off. That's how he'd gotten you alone, ducking his own head to speak with you instead of looking down his nose at you.
"Sorry if I freaked you out there. Didn't mean to get'cha all that attention if you didn't want it. This yours?"
He had whacked the side of the truck so hard you'd been unsure whether the rental agency was going to return it without hassling you for damages.
After a short conversation about the perils of emergency oil changes on a Monday morning, you'd left with Tyler's number that you'd been too scared to text until three days later, as well as a nagging feeling that you were the wrong sort of person to be talking to him.
You still feel it now, when he turns over in his bed to stare at you with his pretty eyes. You feel so terribly bashful even though you've been looking into the same eyes for three months now. You feel your face heating up against his pillow, and even in his barely-awake state he knows you're getting shy when you start adjusting yourself beneath the blankets.
"You're starin' at the sheets again," He observes, a soft smile on his face, "You're tappin' out already? We just woke up."
"I'm just cold," You lie, shifting the blankets around until you can handle meeting his eyes again. When you look up they're even more intense for the grin he's giving you, kind-hearted but all-seeing.
"You're still shy, even when it's just us, darlin'?"
"I'm more shy when it's just us," You laugh, just as honest as it is shaky, "Then there's no one else you're looking at but me."
"I'm starin' at you no matter who else is in the room." He murmurs, and when it only makes your bashfulness worse, he laughs gently and reaches out to pull you across the sheets towards him.
"C'mere. Can't have you runnin' away from me this early in the mornin'."
You allow yourself to be nestled quite snugly into his chest, but before you can relax you must allow yourself a moment's more mortification when you remember that he's bare-chested in bed.
"I can feel your cheeks burnin' up," Tyler laughs, and you feel his words more than you hear them as his chest shakes with laughter against your face, "Oh, baby, you're such a sweet little thing. How long is it gonna take for you to stop blushin' when we kiss?"
"How long are you gonna stay so handsome for?" You ask meekly into his chest.
You're gently, but unceremoniously pulled from his chest as he cups your face, dipping down to nudge his nose against yours.
"You're a flirt." He accuses, grinning from ear-to-ear, "You're a bold, brazen flirt and you're hidin' behind that shy demeanor, aren't you? Shit, now you're makin' me blush, darlin'."
"It's true," You breathe, laughing along though yours is more air than sound, "I just get shy. Like I forget just how handsome you are until you stare at me and then I get all shy again."
"Can't be nearly as handsome as you are beautiful, sweet thing." He murmurs, dipping down even further to press his lips to yours, morning breath and all, "But I've got enough boldness for the both of us. So if you need to hide after every kiss," He fondly notes the way you've planted yourself back in his chest, face ablaze, "Then I'll always be there to coax you back out afterwards. Deal?"
"Deal." You decide, but you're speaking into his chest so it's muffled.
He says nothing, but you feel a soft press of his lips to the crown of your head, and his pinky reaches down to interlock with yours where it rests against his chest, a promise sealed with a kiss.
#tyler owens x reader#tyler owens fanfiction#tyler owens x you#tyler owens imagine#tyler owens blurb#tyler owens drabble#glen powell x reader#twisters fanfiction
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A Trip
Le Sserafim Yunjin x Male Reader
8k Words
Content Warning: smut, very fluffy, a little bit of angst cause reader has daddy issues (why not), lots of plot
Minors DNI

A/N: Hello fearnots!! I took a small step out of my comfort zone to (happily) fulfill a request from one of my followers. I hope they enjoy it and I hope you all do too!
Also most of the information I got about Yunjin is from google so feel free to message me if it's wrong. I will change it.
(So sorry if there are typos, i proofread this at midnight lmao.)
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Nothing could lighten your mood like Yunjin, she's perfect for you
-
You wake up hearing the loud hum of the airplane fill your ears, it was a sound you were all too familiar with by now, a sound that often times meant work. You keep your eyes shut, shuffling in your seat to turn your head away from the vibrant daylight that shone through the window, breaching your eyelids. Then you hear whats probably the pilots rough voice on the intercom, muttering something about preparing for landing. That's when your eyes finally open and almost immediately they meet a pair of eyes so beautiful you can't help but smile.
It's your girlfriend Yunjin. You've been together for eight months and some change now but due to your conflicting schedules, you haven't been able to spend much quality time together recently. So the second you two found an open window you took it and decided to do something with the short week you had off. You're heading to Boston so she can meet your family for the first time, then the plan is to go on a mini roadtrip to Albany so you can meet her parents too then after that get a hotel and relax, maybe even head to the city.
The chances of your schedules being free at the same times are really slim so you want to make the most of your time together.
Yunjin smiles softly when you wake up and you begin to start wondering how long she's been watching you. "How did you sleep?" You stifle a yawn, stretching your arms and legs a bit as the plane begins to descend, feeling a slight discomfort in your ears.
"I didn't"
You quickly go from being tiredly relaxed to being slightly concerned "Jen, it's been thirteen hours. What do you mean you didn't sleep?" There's another yawn that tries to come out while you're talking, you manage to suppress it but it still makes you teary eyed as your body was still trying to get over the effects of waking up.
"I couldn't, I don't know I've just been thinking a lot" She chews her bottom lip nervously before speaking again "I'm about to meet your parents, you know? It's a little nerve wracking"
Theres a gentle smile that grows on your face when you realize why she hasn't slept, you think it's cute. "You have nothing to be nervous about, they will love you. We're gonna go over there and we're gonna spend the day with them and it's gonna be great" You try to reassure her, a small chuckle escaping your lips.
Yunjin pokes out her bottom lip and tilts her head to rest on your shoulder for a bit "You sure?"
"Yeah baby" You nod before leaning over to plant a kiss on her forehead, catching a whiff of her hair.
The plane lands and you two do your best to get through customs and everything without any troubles and you can't help but notice how easy it is. No fans, no paparazzi, no bodyguards, no extensive amounts of suitcases, just you and Yunjin. The feeling was sort of bittersweet to you, on one hand it was nice not having to push through crowds of people but on the other, you kind of missed the support, the "I love you's," the look of genuine support on the faces of your fans. "What are you in your head about now?" Yunjin taps your arm as you roll two big suitcases through the airport. You glance at her and hum, not yet processing the question "You were making that face again"
"What face?"
"That face you make when you're thinking about something too hard" She responds cleverly causing you to roll your eyes slightly.
She gives you a moment, allowing you to be silent as you try to figure out how to convey what you want to. "Don't you miss it?" You ask a bit vaguely, assuming that she'd get what you were talking about. When you only get a confused look from her you begin to expand on it "The attention, the fans.. you know.” You almost cringe at yourself, feeling like a little bit of an attention whore.
Which… you kind of were, otherwise you wouldn’t have be an idol
"Oh" Yunjin pauses, then gets visibly confused "A little bit, I mean it's really wholesome the nice things they say and the little interactions... but isn't this more peaceful?"
"Yeah, I don't know it's just weird being in an airport for something other than work" You say as you walk through the double doors, inhaling the all but fresh scent of Boston air. The smell of home. You pull out your phone and shoot your father a message asking where he was parked and you get one back almost immediately "They're a little farther down" You nod in the direction where they were parked towards, a disorder of cars and angry drivers honking.
Yunjin's starting to get nervous again and you catch it immediately so you take her hand in yours "Hey, just breathe" You tell her before bringing it up to leave a kiss on her knuckle for comfort. She nods and you both begin to walk around the outside of the airport, wondering how and why there were so many people there at eight in the morning.
You eventually spot your parents’ silver SUV and you point it out to Yunjin. She makes eye contact with your parents who are standing there waiting for you and she feels her nerves coming up again, but she manages to tell herself everything will be okay thanks to you. You roll the suitcases near the car "Hey mom, hey dad" You greet them with hugs so tight and loving that you think you might pop all while Yunjin stands there awkwardly. You step back next to her "This is my girlfriend, Yunjin"
"We know her name by now, she's all you talk about" Your mother says, brushing past you. Yunjin puts her hand out thinking that your mom was going for a handshake but instead she pulls her in for a hug. You winced a bit, feeling like you should've maybe warned her about how much your mom likes to give hugs. "It's great to finally meet you, you can call me mom" She says, holding onto her arms when she pulls away. Your mom looks Yunjin up and down, a look of pure adoration in her eyes "She's so pretty and she's so tall I might have to steal her from you" Your mom turns to you before backing up and you both just awkwardly laugh at the older woman's humor.
"Nice to meet you" Your father reaches his hand out to shake hers, firm and proper then he looks at you "Your sisters are home, they didn't want to come for the ride" He shrugs as he grabs one of your suitcases to load in the car. Your mom and Yunjin get inside and as you expected, your mom is talking her ears off, you snicker, hoping it's not too overbearing. "So whats the plan?" Your father asks as you help him with the bags.
You take your eyes off of the girls. "What plan?"
"With her, you really like her? are your fans going to be okay with it?" He purposefully lowers his voice so they can’t hear.
Your father was the reason you got into the industry in the first place. When you were fifteen he packed your bags and sent you down to SM entertainment--on the other side of the world--to train in hopes that you'd make your big break. Why at a company like that? You had no clue. But one thing you were sure of was that your relationship with him has never been the same since then. It's also quite relevant to add that he was a trainee when he was younger but he never made the cut, deciding to instead to move to the states for college and lead a normal life.
So he knew enough to know what could happen if you went public with your relationship.
You give him a look and you're kind of annoyed that he's bringing it up now. He thinks your career is the most important thing and in his eyes, relationships were merely just scandals waiting to happen. He didn't see the point in them, so when he found out that you were dating Yunjin, he obviously didn't approve. But you never cared about what he thought because she's the love of your life. "I don't just like her dad. I love her and the fans will just have to deal with it if we decide to go public"
"But you won't" He says it in that matter-of-fact tone. The one that you hate and he knows you do. Maybe it's immature, but you held a lot of contempt for him deep inside of you because of the way he's run your entire life. Now he's trying to do the same right now and you won't let him because you're older. You're your own man.
There's something about him that just makes you want to rebel and do something crazy out of nothing but pure spite. Something drastic like posting a picture of you and Yunjin kissing just to show him that he doesn't run your life.
You couldn't do that though, mainly for company reasons. "Remember to be careful Y/n, your career is everything, your brand is everything. You haven't even been able to go solo from your group yet and if you want to-"
"I don't wanna talk to you about this" You slam the trunk closed a little harder than you should've, most likely startling Yunjin and your mom then you walk around to get into the backseat.
Yunjin tilts her head, laughing a bit "Why'd you close the trunk so hard" You shrug, trying to make it seem like everything was okay but it wasn't. Not when your dad's being an asshole again. You we're hoping he'd show a little respect for the occasion but then again, he's him. You shouldn't have expected anything. "You okay?" She gets a bit more concerned noticing the change in your demeanor and that's when your dad gets into the car and starts the engine.
"Yeah no everything's fine"
Yunjin knows you too well. She recognizes that tone and she can tell somethings bothering you but she doesn't say anything, knowing that you don't want to talk about it. "Okay" She subtly takes your hand into hers as the car begins to move, silently telling you that she's there for you. She'll always be. "Well, your mom was just telling me about how gross you were as a kid..." She says, triggering a long lost memory in the back of your mind and you're almost betrayed that your mother would tell her about it.
"Mommm! Come on!" You complain and the car bubbles with laughter, some coming from you as well even if you were embarrassed.
-
The car ride ended up being full of conversation and good energy. It lightened your mood to see how quickly Yunjin and your mom got along with each other. You expected for the short exchange you had with your dad to kill your mood, maybe even have you bothered for the entire day. He has that effect on you. But for once he doesn't and maybe its cause Yunjin had your hand in hers, moving her thumb to rub your knuckles for extra comfort.
Nothing could lighten your mood like Yunjin, she's perfect for you
When you arrive, your dad pulls into the garage where you look over and see your car. The car you plan on driving all the way down to Albany to see Yunjin's parents. You get out and walk into the house where both your sisters are sitting on the couch, Sarah and April. They look up at you, their eyes lighting up the brightest you've ever seen them.
"Oh my god, I can't believe my lame ass brother is actually dating a member of Le Sserafim" Sarah, the older among the two teases like she always did. It's good to know she still has that fire in her.
"I havent even been here for a minute and you're already bullying me" You fake complain, silently enjoying the playful relationship you shared with her. Yunjin purses her lips to stifle a laugh as you walk over to put Sarah in a fake headlock and hold her there right up until she's saying sorry. It was your big brother, little sister dynamic and you were glad that after all this time she was still willing to play along with it no matter if she was getting older or not.
The youngest, April kind of looks a bit shy and you know exactly why. "Oh... I forgot to say, April really likes Le Sserafim" You mention to Yunjin who continues to smile even bigger after taking in the flattering information. She walks over to the couch and takes a seat next to her.
You just watch as she tries her best to get your sisters comfortable with her, cracking jokes to make them laugh. She was more natural at meeting people than she'd ever give herself credit for. You turn to your mom "I need the keys for my car" You mention as you walk with her up the stairs, leaving the others downstairs.
"How long are you staying?"
"Maybe three hours, then we have to head down to Albany. It's a long drive so I don't want to leave too late" You explain she gives you a look, an inquisitive hum leaving her throat as she moves to open the bedroom door.
"I thought you were going to stay here for the night, change of plans?" You nod and you just shrug but then she gives you a look, one that says to cut the bullshit and tell her what you're feeling.
"Dad's being.. dad again. I don't want to spend too much time under the same roof as him" You mutter, leaning against the king sized bed as you watch her fish through a drawer for your keys.
She pauses for a minute, a small sigh escaping her lips and you already know whats coming. A water-downed attempt to defend the indefensible "He just wants the best for you, you know" She closes the drawer after finding the keys and puts them in your hands, acknowledging your unconvincing glare.
"Yeah, right. Did he also want the best for me when he sent me to train at a company that doesn't give a fuck about me?" You ask, not meaning for there to be so much hostility in your tone. Hell, you didn't even mean to curse at her. It just got on your nerves that she'd ever begin to defend him, especially with the whole 'he's doing it in good faith' argument because if he was, he would've let it be your choice to begin with. Not just the choice of company, but the decision to go to Korea in the first place.
She flinches at your language and you apologize shortly after. You move to leave the room, ready to head off downstairs to see what Yunjin and your sisters were doing when your mother holds your arm. "Before you go and leave forever, talk to me, tell me about how everything's been going in Korea. I haven't seen my son in months and he's already leaving after spending what? two seconds here?"
"Sorry" You apologize and its genuine, like actually.
-
You ended up staying and talking about basically everything that's happened in this past year with your mom, who was always a really good listener. She gave great advice about how to solve some of your problems when you go back. It was a good maybe half hour long heartfelt conversation. One that you had with her often over the phone but it's even better in person.
"I should probably get back, Yunjin's probably wondering where I am" You stand up and stretch your arms a bit. Then you leave the room. When you get down stairs, you see Sarah and April and they're watching something in the living room. Theres a moment where you look around in confusion before asking "Where's Yunjin?"
"In the garage with dad" April shrugs, not even bothering to look away from the TV.
Your heart sinks.
"Fuck" You mutter as you walk over to the garage, already knowing what he was trying to do. You walk through the garage door and they're talking. His demeanor was almost intimidating and hers was small and it only made you angrier. You step between them and shove him backwards. "The hell are you doing?" You're level with him this time, almost mirroring his muscular build and his height. It was almost scary how alike you were.
"I was just trying to tell her-"
"I don't care, I don't want you to tell her anything" It's kind of contradicting, but you can barely think straight right now.
"Y/n, no its fine he was just" Yunjin tries to argue, touching your arm with her soft hand. You turn to look at her for a moment, your eyes softening when they meet hers.
All of your anger almost goes away, thats what she does to you.
"What did he say to you, Jen?"
Yunjin's eyes darting to hers and then back to yours before she can even speak he cuts in "I was just letting her know that she's going to ruin your career" You turn to him struggling to even begin to comprehend what the fuck he just said. By the cold stare you give him he can tell you're angry but he doesn't care. "Don't be like that, you know it's true! and when you two break up, there's going to be rumors and-"
You look over to Yunjin "We're leaving" Is all you say as you walk behind your parents' car, popping the trunk to take your suitcases and transfer them to your car. If you had no self control, you would have probably punched your dad in the face and maybe even have a full on altercation with him right there in the garage.
But Yunjin didn't need to see that and your mother probably wouldn't be able to handle that.
Soon everything's packed and you're inside of your car, reaching to put your seatbelt on. "Tell mom I said goodbye" You tell your dad and you can't even look him in the eyes when you do. You just watch as the garage doors slide open to make way for your car. Yunjin gets in too and she sets up the navigation on your phone. "How longs the drive?"
"Two and a half hours" She answers as she puts her seatbelt on. You put the keys in the ignition and you pull off, just glad that you're away from him and the dark emotions he's dredged up.
The car ride starts off silent, you're thinking about a lot. About how Yunjin must've felt hearing that from your father, about how telling it was that he thought he had any right to say something like that to her and especially about how much you damn near hated the man.
"So" Yunjin breaks the silence.
"So" You repeat her words.
"When were you gonna tell me that you have daddy issues?"
Your face scrunches up in confusion "I don't have daddy issues" You repeat the term, seeing it as something that could only apply to women. Until you actually start thinking about it, how your relationship with him isn't good, how you get upset when he's around and especially how small he makes you want to act out like a teenager. "Holy shit, I have daddy issues" You realize, causing Yunjin to almost burst out laughing.
The mood was lightening up and you were happy about that, not wanting the altercation with your dad to sour the entire trip. "I had a feeling, you talk about your mom and your sisters a lot but not him." She mentions and you kind of nod, not even realizing how obvious it was.
"Seriously though, what he said, did it bother you?"
Yunjin shakes her head "Not at all, I still really liked hanging out with your sisters and talking to your mother. They're great" She smiles and you do too, being able to tell that she was being fully genuine in her answer.
You knew each other like that.
-
The rest of the trip was quiet, mostly because Yunjin ended up falling asleep in the beginning half and for the entire ride. You expected her to sleep especially because she didn't get any on the plane.
Shamelessly, you found yourself glancing at her at the occasional red light just to watch her sleeping peacefully.
It made you happy to know that she was yours and only yours.
When you finally arrive in front of her home, you park out front and reach over to tap her awake. It took a few light pushes to wake her up. You watch as she smacks her lips together, wiping the sleep out of her eyes while she stretched her back. It was all the signs that you just woke her up from a really good nap. "What? are we here already?" She yawns and looks out of the window.
It's already beginning to get dark, the streetlights in the neighborhood were already on, shedding warm light on the empty sidewalk. Now you begin feeling the nerves about meeting her mom and dad. You hope it goes better than the visit to your parents house and you hope they like you. "You ready?"
You nod your head and the two of you get out and walk up to the door, ringing the doorbell only once. Then the door opens, revealing what you assume to be Yunjin's dad. She opens up her arms, hugging him tightly with a big comfy smile on her face "Hey Jen, you guys got here just in time. Your mom's just finished cooking" He pulls away from the hug then sizes you up a bit, you almost feel a chill run down your spine "I'm guessing this is Y/n?" He asks, putting his hand out to shake yours, nice and firm.
"That's me, it's good to meet you" You nod and move to enter the house. You look around the foyer, noticing a bunch of pictures on the wall of Yunjin and her family together. In some of them she looks so adorable, so happy as a little girl.
Then you walk into the dining room where Yunjin's mom is setting the table. She looks up and smiles upon seeing the two of you, placing a plate down before walking over to hug her daughter first. "Here's the famous boyfriend I assume" She jokes, opening her arms to hug you too.
"Wow, it's nice to finally meet you guys" You smile politely.
Then you take a seat at the table and Yunjin sits next to you and when everyones actually settled in, some conversation begins. "So Y/n" Her mom begins and you hum in response, making sure to make good eye contact "You work in the industry too, right?"
"Yeah, i'm in my fourth year" You nod.
"I'm, curious. How do you two manage to make time for each other?"
Wow, right out the gate with the heavy questions
You look over to Yunjin, who has already started eating and then your eyes find their way back to her mom's. Noticing that her dad was looking too, you cleared your throat as you tried to figure out a good way to answer the question "It's hard, with the way our schedules conflict a lot but we manage to find windows and do little acts of service for each other when we have free time. For example, when i'm not working and she is, I'll go out and buy her gifts or something and vice versa" You explain and you can feel Yunjin staring at you with that smile on her face.
Yunjin's parents look satisfied with your explanation and you almost feel proud of yourself for handling the question well.
-
The dinner goes way better than you expected, much better than the visit to your parents house which you're grateful for nonetheless. You stay after dinner, getting to know Yunjin's parents better as you played a few fun board games with some music playing in the background. Soon it started feeling like more of a hangout with friends rather than meeting your girlfriends parents.
So it was safe to say that they liked you.
When it started to get late, you and Yunjin said your goodbyes, exchanging friendly hugs with the each other before leaving. There's a nice hotel just thirty minutes away from her parents house, providing you with a place to stay the night before heading down to the city.
It took a bit of waiting but finally, you were able to book an acceptable room with a good view of Albany.
You put your bags down and without even taking off your clothes, you fall backwards onto the bed and you just lay there. "Well today was... one hell of a day" You mutter, the altercation with your father still in the back of your mind.
Yunjin sits on the edge of the bed and watches as you lay there. You notice that there's a look on her face. That one she makes when she wants to ask a question but isn't sure how or maybe she doesn't want to ruin the mood with the weight of the question. "Babe?" You ask, sitting up "You alright?"
"I... your dad... there was something else he said and I know it shouldn't have but it kind of got to me" She subtly begins to play with her fingers, like she's about to break some bad news. You already feel your blood boiling as you start to realize that his words may have bothered her way more than you thought.
Before she continues you stop her "Yunjin you're not going to ruin my career, seriously I value you more than anything in the-"
"No, it's not that" You quirk your eyebrow, deciding that you'll just shut up and listen. "He also said that this is all for nothing, that we'll fall out of love because we barely see each other." Yunjin looks worried, like for the first time she's having some doubts about your relationship. That's because it's the only thing that feels like it could be true. You two had to go almost extreme lengths to have dates, or hang out when you're free.
Sometimes it gets so busy that you go weeks without seeing each other and that's what worried Yunjin the most. It was the distance. You hold her hand with yours, an act of affection that you found yourself doing a lot when you needed to reassure her "Jen, I love you and... what we have isn't going to fizzle out, it's going to be there forever. My dads just trying to get into your head, I can't believe he said that" You mutter the last part, making a mental note to give him a call later and maybe curse him out.
"Really? Cause sometimes I feel like things at work can get stressful, so stressful to the point where even in our free time we need time to recharge alone. Then when is there going to be time for... just us?" She asks, and its a valid question and a valid feeling but all you do is hold her hand tighter, firmer.
"You can recharge in bed with me and my arms wrapped around your body"
This makes Yunjin laugh, cracking a smile at your comment even though you weren't joking at all. She nods "I know.. I'm sorry I let things get to my head. I've just been overthinking a lot and I didn't get much sleep" There's a small smile that threatens to show on your face and she immediately catches the curving of your lips "What?" She laughs a bit, pushing your shoulder lightly. She already knows what you're thinking.
"I know something that'll help you sleep better" You lean in, leaving a small peck on her lips.
Yunjin begins smiling "What is it?" She asks, her lips just centimeters away from yours. You lean forwards again to press your lips together and the kiss is longer this time, slower. You pull away just enough to disconnect your lips.
"Guess" Is all you say before you push her body back on the bed and you kiss her again but its a bit harder this time. It lasts for a minute too, a whole minute (and maybe even more than that because who's counting?) where you're just exploring each others' mouths. Her breathing becomes heavier and you shuffle a bit, careful not to break the kiss as you do.
You finally pull yourself off of her lips, just for a moment so you can get yourself out of the limiting confines of your clothes. Watching as you take your shirt off, Yunjin follows and pulls her top over her head. You move to unbutton and unzip her tight jeans. She's wearing the ones that you loved, the ones that cling to her thighs so perfectly. As you pull them off, Yunjin lifts her legs and straightens them to help you out.
"I've been wanting to do that all day"
"Really? While you were meeting my parents?" She giggles, pretending to be shocked, she knew that you were looking.
She caught on every time "Don't act like you didn't know" You reach for your belt and you sling it off, standing up from the bed for a moment just to drop your loose fitting jeans all the way. Then you get back into bed with her and you crawl in between her legs. Yunjin wraps them around you, bringing your body that much closer to hers.
You kiss her lips again, breathing slow and heavy breaths as you do, you couldn't get enough of her plump lips. Then you begin sliding your hand down between the crevice where your bodies met all the way down to her panties. You allow your hand to rest there, feeling the heat through the lacy fabric while you began to move your lips elsewhere. First the corner of her lips. then her cheek, then her jawline and eventually to her neck.
Yunjin moans softly, rolling her hips up into your hand as you begin to suck on her warm flesh. You lick the skin, then gently take it between your teeth and you suck hard enough to get a reaction but not to leave a mark of any kind. It's a lot to deal with. Your lips on her neck, your hand teasing her right where she needs you the most right now and the way your warm body felt on hers. No matter how torturous the teasing feels right now, she's loving the time and care you take with her body.
"Baby" She tries to whisper, but it comes out as more of a needy whine. Her hips haven't stopped moving yet either. "Please"
Thats when you finally slide your hand beneath the waistband of her panties and you palm her cunt. You take note of how wet she is as you begin to rub messy circles around her clit, providing enough pressure for now "You're soaked, baby" You announce, as if she wasn't already painfully aware.
"For.. you" She manages to say through her soft moans and then as quickly as you put them in, you slide them right out to use both of your hands to pull her panties off. Then you motion for her to lean up, and you reach around to unclip her bra, letting it slide off of her arms delicately. You struggle a bit to shimmy out of your boxers while you were still on the bed and once they're off, the two of you are completely bare in each others presence.
You put your body flush to hers again and you leave a kiss on her neck, sliding your hand back to where they belonged. "I'm going to put a finger in" You warn, and an enthusiastic hum from her follows. You slide your middle finger into the smooth and tight confines of her cunt. Yunjin moans, biting her lip as you curl the finger and begin pumping it in and out.
"Feels so.. good" She breathes and you decide to let your mouth explore other parts of her wonderful body. You kiss along the perfect curve of her collarbone, getting every inch wet with your saliva and your tongue. Yunjin didn't even have to say it in words, her body language spoke volumes. Especially the way she rides your fingers and whines your name.
You slide another finger inside and she moans louder, really beginning to feel the stretch as you work them both inside. You kiss all the way down to her left nipple which you take into your mouth almost immediately, her back arches a bit when you do and you grab her right breast with your hand. You begin to massage it, tweaking the nipple between your fingers while you sucked on the other one.
Then you switch, rubbing the saliva you left back into her breasts and along her body. It was like you were claiming her as yours or--for lack of better words--marking your territory. "Baby.. please" She gapes, her voice just above a whisper as she begs. You hum in response "Need you inside"
So you slide your fingers out and take them between your lips "You taste so good, Jen" You mutter as you lean over her body, positioning yourself more properly between her legs. Theres a moment when you look into her eyes, your faces just a few inches apart. Then you take your cock into your hand and you begin stroking it, just lathering it up with the mix of her slick and your saliva.
The moment you prod her entrance, another "Please" escapes her lips but this time it sounds so breathless, so desperate, like she'll die if you're not inside of her by the next second. You waste no more time and you push your hips forward immediately feeling the way her warm walls wrapped around you. It was like a tight hug and you fit so perfectly inside of her, like you were made to be inside of her.
Yunjin winces, her eyebrows upturned as she shuts her eyes all in an attempt to cope with the indescribable pleasure of you being inside of her. You lean down and close the gap, putting you lips together as she moans long high pitched whines. She wraps her legs around you and thats when you reach the hilt "Fuck" You curse on her lips, feeling her throb inside.
You begin to move, starting off slow and deep with your movements, sure to make her feel every every inch. You're bodies are on fire as you share this intimate moment of pleasure together, relishing in the particular feeling when your hips meet. She's so wet that you can hear it, you can hear it and its driving you insane. Yunjin feels so good, you just want to stay in the moment forever.
You move to kiss her neck again, mostly so you can allow her to moan as loud as she wants to. It's because you want to hear her pretty moans, every stutter, every word she tries to get out in an attempt to let you know how good she's feeling--more importantly how good you're making her feel. She does just that "Fuck baby... so deep" and "You're so big, stretching me so good" and "don't stop." You hear all the praise and you're obsessed with it.
"You feel so good" You grunt as you begin to pick up the pace, fucking her faster "So tight and wet for me"
Theres a whimper that escapes her lips and shortly after a loud moan "Yes, faster please fuck me faster...harder." She pleads and you do just that, hearing the moment she begins to choke on her own words, literally losing breath as you began to hit the deepest spots inside of her. You can feel her nails scratching her back. "I love You" She moans, and the words sound so beautiful coming out of her mouth.
"I love you" You groan, feeling the way her cunt pulses and throbs around your cock. It felt so fucking good you couldn't even believe how good she felt, like nothing ever before. "Fuck" You sigh, leaning up to hold yourself up by your arms. Yujin looks so beautiful with her eyes closed and her eyebrows kitted together. Her whole face is flushed a shade of red and so is her body as you get her closer and closer to her climax.
Yunjin grabs onto your forearms tightly, "Gonna cum for you"
You reach your hand down and you begin to rub her clit in tight circles, feeling the swollen bud throb on your fingers. You're looking right at her, wanting to catch the exact moment that she topples over the edge. "Go ahead baby, let go" Your voice is soft while you say it.
She does it so beautifully. First her eyes go wide and she stares into nothing as her body goes rigid, you keep going and a moan gets caught in her throat. Yunjin gasps, then chokes out a sob right before she begins to tremble and shudder. You can feel it inside, the way her cunt begins to pulse and clench around your sensitive cock. It feels so good and it starts getting hard for you to hold back as well.
"I'm cumming" She finally gasps, releasing as her creamy slick begins to coat your entire cock. Her back arches as her orgasm knocks the wind out of her and it stays that way for a moment. With a longer moan she falls backwards and thats when you know she's done. "Fuck" She sighs as your thrusts slow to a stop. You lean down and kiss her, just to seal everything in. it's slow and sensual, a moment that could make it feel like time has frozen and the only thing that matters are her lips and her body.
Eventually you pull away from the kiss, and before you can even do anything, Yunjin flips you over. She's giggling as she does because she's still in her post-orgasm state, feeling like she's floating. The look in her eyes is so loving and lustful at the same time "Let me make you feel good" She says it in a tone that sends a chill down your spine, so sexy and naughty as she's about to please you.
Yunjin's hovering over your lap and you watch her every move. From the moment she wraps her hand around your throbbing cock to the second your tip comes into contact with her entrance. You squirm a bit, and she bites her lip, the look in her eye is dangerous, it’s fucking deadly the way it makes your heart stop for a moment.
Your eyes are glossed over, lost in lust as your eyes flicker downwards. She's teasing, sliding the head through her folds and she just watches you with that desperate look in your eyes. "Please" You nearly whimper and thats all it takes for her to sink downwards. A throaty moan escapes your lips and a softer moan comes from hers as she meets your body, ass flush to your upper thighs. "Fuck me" You mutter, and you mean it both in a literal and figurative way.
She takes it literally and leans forward, holding onto your shoulders as she raises her hips then slams them back down onto your body. The creaking sound that the bed makes, the slapping noise that fills your ears when your skin meets and the filthy squelch that comes from between your legs almost sends you over the edge, like all the way. "You fill me up.. so... fucking good" she bites her lip harder as she begins to get in a rhythm, bouncing on you, up and down.
You hold onto her waist, thumbs pressing into her abs as you squeezed tightly. "Oh, babe you're so fucking good at that" You praise her, a breathy groan leaving your mouth as you begin to feel the heat build in the pit of your stomach. Yunjin slows down a bit and grabs your hands, you allow her to take them off her waist as she intertwines your fingers. She pins them to the bed and leans over, using them for support as she picks up the pace.
She does it so she can feel the way your hands grip hers as a reaction to the way she clenches and rotates her hips. It feels so fucking good, so incredible, so mind numbing to be inside of her. Then not to mention the view, the most beautiful girl in the world, naked, looking at you like you're the only one that exists in her world. Perky tits bouncing and jiggling up and down with the way she's riding you. "I.. fucking.. love you" You choke the words out and she leans closer, a satisfied smile on her face.
Yunjin kisses your lips, not for too long, just as long as you can keep up with and she giggles just a bit, her breath hitching when she slams her hips down again. "I love you" She closes her eyes, then puts her head down into the crook of your neck. You know she's chasing another orgasm, but you have no clue how you're gonna hold back until then.
Now she's squeezing your hands harder than you're squeezing, maybe she's closer than you thought "Jen, baby i'm about to.." You can't even finish your sentence as she begins to bounce harder, faster on your body. "cum" You manage to say, but it comes out silent and you doubt she could hear anything over her own moans.
"Not yet baby, just a little longer" She begs, her voice sounding so erotic as she does. It doesn't help in the slightest.
But you try your hardest to get through without cumming, your labored breaths heaving directly into her ears. "I can't.. i'm going to cum in this... fucking-" She cuts you off with a loud moan, one that goes directly into your ear and it lets you know that she's reached her peak before you. Yunjin keeps going though, riding you mindlessly as if her mind was disconnected from her body. She's cumming, babbling in your ear as everything goes blank and you can feel every quiver inside.
Your body begins to shake as you reach the edge "Don't stop, don't fucking" You grunt as your cock begins to pulse and throb the pleasure almost too much to bare as you begin to paint her walls white with cum. "Fuck" You groan, low and long as you keep shooting endless ropes, fucking it deeper inside her as you thrust your hips up to stuff and fill her as much as possible. She stops moving and at some point you're no longer cumming.
The two of you just lay there, a hot and sweaty mess and a tangle of limbs and skin. It takes a moment for you to squeeze her hands which were still in yours, signaling that you were going to slide from under her. So you do and she rolls over and sits up, you lean in to leave another peck on her lips. "You know, the bath tub is huge and it could probably fit the both of us"
Yunjin smiles and gets off of the bed, she looks back at you then walks off towards the bathroom swaying her hips purposely in a way that made your heart throb. You get up and go after her, walking into the bathroom, closing the door behind you. It was then when you realized how cold the room was and you begin to shiver a bit. "Make it hot... like, super hot" You tell her as she goes to turn the water on.
You watch the steam rise from the tub where the hot water begins to pool and you allow Yunjin to get in first. Then you get in after her, sitting behind her with your legs spread. She lets her body rest against you her back to your chest and everything's warm again. You rest your chin on her shoulder "No matter what anyone says, no matter what happens... I'll never fall out of love with you" You wrap yours arms around her torso.
"How are you so reassuring?" She hums, closing her eyes as the water slowly rises, warming the both of you up even more.
"I'm just honest" You shrug, your voice soft in the way she likes.
"I love you"
"I love you more" You move to kiss her cheek, then she turns her face some more so you can capture her lips. No matter if the angle is kind of awkward, it still feels so right, so comfortable.
-
The next morning feels like a dream because you wake up and Yunjin's head is on your chest. Your head turns over to the digital clock on the nightstand and you see that it's eleven in the morning. You rub small circles in her back and you just lay there. For the first time in a while you feel true peace, matching her slow breaths with yours as you stared into nothing.
When there's no rush to leave, no rush to get up, you didn't even have to stay awake. It would make no difference if you just went back to sleep and stayed like that for the end of the day. You close your eyes again, to do just that when you feel Yunjin start to stir.
A low, raspy noise escapes her lips as she does "Babe" she calls you.
"Yeah?"
She takes a deep breath in, finally opening her eyes as she gets to look at the clock "What time does breakfast end?"
"I think like twelve" You start rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and you sit up when Yunjin rolls herself off of you. She stands up and goes over to the phone where theres a menu of all the different breakfast items they had for order.
Yunjin gets so focused that she doesn't even realize that you got out of the bed until she feels your arms snaking around her waist. You kiss her neck "Do you know what you want?" You question her.
"Yeah, you?"
She chews on her bottom lip as she flips through the pages "What are you getting?"
"The typical pancakes with eggs and bacon, a western staple breakfast if you ask me" You shrug.
"You're so bland" Yunjin jokes.
"I might be bland, but I managed to get you to love me. You like bland" You tease.
"Maybe I do"
#le sserafim#kpop gg#kpop smut#girl group smut#le sserafim smut#huh yunjin#yunjin smut#le sserafim yunjin#yunjin le sserafim
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stealth mode II a.russo



unc!era stays on🔝
stealth mode II a.russo
"alessia we're on the bus!" you laughed quietly, smacking your girlfriends hands away where they began to wander, the blonde huffing and pressing her face into your neck instead.
"you are no fun." the brit muttered as you smiled and shook your head, body leaning fully into yours as her weight bore into you and the pair of you basically sat in one chair together.
"be professional captain." you warned playfully, another huff and something grumbled into your neck before she shuffled back a little, resting her chin on your shoulder with arms looped around your waist as the pair of you turned to talk to your teammates on the other side of the aisle.
"now girls! i know last time there was a lot of sneaking out after lights out, and that will not be happening tonight. we have a big game tomorrow and we need everyone well rested and ready to go!" your coach clapped for everyone's attention as groans sounded in response.
"yeah against the team bottom of the table who are yet to win a game." your girlfriend whispered causing those within earshot to snicker and a small smile curl into your lips as you gently smacked her knee.
"i also understand a few of you have your finals starting next week, so i would encourage you use your downtime tonight after dinner to get some study in!" the coach suggested, chuckling at the boo's that rang out her way in response, loudest of all from the boisterous blonde clinging onto you like velcro as she had the entire bus ride.
"i don't see you booing, but i did see you pack two textbooks into your overnight bag." lotte teased as you rolled your eyes as a few of the girls around turned their booing toward you.
"watch it." alessia sat up straighter, fixing the group of them with an evil warning glare as immediately everyone turned back to their own conversations and your girlfriend settled again.
"mean ole captain russo." you teased quietly, turning in your seat as your girlfriends eyes rolled but a smile.
"yeah cause the only person allowed to tease you is me, obviously." the english woman reminded as you shook your head and pushed her, accepting the airpod offered your way as the two of you settled for the rest of the bus ride, leaning into one another.
~
"less!" you gasped as your girlfriend snuck your last roast potato when she thought you weren't looking. "its carb loading!" she justified, giving you an innocent smile with her mouth half full as you made a face of disgust.
there was a snicker across the table and within seconds the blondes features shifted, potato swallowed and eyes narrowing, fixing the junior across from her with a menacing stare.
"something funny?" the striker questioned though everyone could tell it was rhetorical, the table a little quieter now as some watched on in pity and the junior went pale, shaking her head furiously.
"no? oh but i'm sure we'd all love to know what was so funny, its in the team spirit to share." your girlfriend baited with a dangerous smile as you frowned, squeezing her knee beneath the table before your hand was batted away.
"uh no no it was nothing." the poor girl stammered out as you sighed, knowing better than to try and intervene, not fancying an argument just yet and knowing your girlfriend could be incredibly pig headed about defending her behaviour.
"nothing? well then maybe you should go and finish your food over there, you might find something worth laughing at." alessia nodded across the room and within milliseconds the junior grabbed her plate and all but sprinted away.
"teach her to laugh at me." the english woman mumbled under her breath, nobody else daring to make a comment on the interaction as alessia turned feeling your eyes set onto the side of her face.
"what?" the blonde huffed, clearly now grumpy and irritable as you sighed. "you know what." you muttered back, scraping your last mouthful of food onto your fork with a roll of your eyes.
"god please not this tonight. i wasn't that mean!" alessia defended herself, crossing her arms and spinning to face you head on as you only hummed, your conversation interrupted by your coach standing and clapping for everyones attention.
"now as i said earlier girls, there will be no messing around, sneaking out, getting up to any sort of trouble tonight!" your coach warned as a few murmurs and mutters sounded in response.
"and to ensure that is what happens, myself and assistant coach taylor have organised with the hotel staff that there will be adults on a roster in the hallway and any player caught out of their room or in someone else's will be benched tomorrow." she finished as collective arguments and groans of discontent rang around the room.
"none of that! my mind is made up. i know you all think tomorrow will be an easy win but that is a lazy mentality. if you start to enter play thinking you don't need to try then that's already cost us the championship girls!"
~
"i cannot believe you're actually studying right now." your girlfriend made a face of disgust from on your phone screen where it sat propped up against your water bottle.
"some of us like preparing for tests russo." you smiled, knowing your girlfriend nine times out of ten would just show up on the day with a pen and a dream, her course work hardly her biggest priority considering she wasn't on an academia based scholarship.
"can i please come over?" alessia whined for the tenth time in an hour as you chuckled. "no baby, you can't." you repeated yourself with an amused smile as the blonde pouted adorably.
"but why?" "you know why, would you like the captain of the team to be benched tomorrow?" "they wouldn't bench me, its just an empty threat to try and scare everyone out of sneaking out." "well its not worth the risk." "oh babe come on please? i'll even study with you!"
"oh you will?" you laughed at that, the strikers pout shifting into a scowl and a huff. "i will! even study my favorite subject." alessia retorted matter of factly as you raised an eyebrow curiously.
"and that would be what? the playbook for tomorrow?" "no, my favorite subject would be you of course baby." alessia beamed, clearly quite proud of herself as you tried to bite back a smile.
"come on, you can tell me. i'm the best!" your girlfriend grinned wolfishly as you flipped her off and looked back down to the barely started essay in front of you.
"need i remind you california, we have pre game traditions!" alessia tried a different approach as you rolled your eyes at the nickname. "yes we do, and we can make out in the change rooms tomorrow. not right now!" you warned as alessia groaned again, her head dropping down onto the pillow in front of her with a small thump.
"you are no fun. wheres your sense of adventure?" "left it behind." "clearly! but what did you bring with you?" your eyes flickered upward and catching the cheeky glint in her eyes you knew what it was she really wanted from that question.
not getting anywhere with your essay with the blonde distracting you and knowing the longer you placated her whining the more desperate she'd get, you closed your textbook and scooted your chair back a little.
"blue and black." you answered with a sly smile as your girlfriend closed her eyes and threw her head back with a groan. "seriously? the blue one? on an away game? where we're roomed separately?" your girlfriend accused as you nodded.
"you're lying, just to wind me up." "am i?" "you so are and-" the blonde fell silent as you grabbed the hem of the large faded UNC shirt you had on, lifting it up to your neck revealing the baby blue bra in question as your girlfriends jaw dropped and her eyes locked on your chest.
"i don't lie, goodnight babe. sweet dreams!" you dropped your shirt back down with a wink, covering yourself again and ignoring your girlfriends hurried protests, telling you you loved her and blowing her a kiss before clicking end call.
you grinned to yourself knowing for once you'd had the upper hand and gotten under her skin, it normally being the other way around as you chuckled at the incoming barrage of messages and calls from the striker.
you sent her a message you needed to concentrate and you'd message her when you were headed to bed, turning your phone over and putting it on silent.
though you should have known well enough, this would not the end of things.
so when you heard the knock on the window you just thought it the wind, not paying it much mind as you tapped your pen against your forehead trying to formulate the points of your introduction.
but then, it came again, and again, growing in frequency and volume as did your concern and slight worry for what was actually hidden behind the curtains.
you looked around for a weapon of sorts, grabbing one of your cleats and holding it up as if it was a sword, creeping toward the window as the knocks sounded again and you jumped.
taking a deep breath you paused, should you alert a teacher? your girlfriend? the hotel? no, it was probably just a bird who'd been fed by someone in this room before, that was clearly the only explanation (which didn't terrify you).
so steeling your nerves you crept forward a few more steps and yanked aside the curtains, your heart leaping into your mouth until you locked eyes with who the intruder was and your eyes widened as large as plates.
"alessia? what the fuck!" you hissed, sliding open the back door as she stepped inside and huffed. "i knocked like ten times are you deaf?" the blonde rolled her eyes as you glanced around to see if anyone could see before promptly closing and locking the door.
"how on earth-" you started to question but it was swallowed by your girlfriend pulling your body into hers, lips pressing sweetly against yours as you relaxed momentarily before tensing up again and pushing her off.
"are you crazy? you could have died!" you hissed, smacking her a few times as the taller girl shielded her face with her hands. "what two stories from the ground? worse it would have been a broken leg! and not my first." alessia grinned as you glared at her and raised your hand to hit her again.
"okay okay okay! i just snuck across three balconies, i'm fine see? nothing bad happened." your girlfriend assured softly with a smile that normally would have you melting but right now your heart was racing and it did nothing to quell that in the slightest.
"not yet! what if you had gotten caught? or if they come to do room checks and you get caught? we'll both be benched!" you warned with a shake of your head, pacing back and forth as the blonde sat herself on the edge of your bed.
"are you done?" alessia asked with an amused smile, leaning back on her hands and raising an eyebrow as you paused your pacing and fixed her with a glare.
"last room checks were at ten, and i'll set an alarm for six and sneak back over for the wake up at seven. no one will know!" the blonde assured as you huffed, shaking your head and deciding to ignore her, taking your seat back at the desk you'd been studying at.
"well thats quite the welcome." your girlfriend scoffed, stripping off her hoodie, tossing it onto your bed and making her way over to you.
"you're an idiot." you mumbled back, eyes not leaving the page in front of you. "oh its so lovely to see you too. no 'hey baby how was your day? hey baby how are you? hey baby I missed you! hey baby i appreciate you breaking the rules and almost dying for me!" the brit mocked sarcastically with a roll of her eyes.
"you choosing to do all that was your choice. i was with you all day alessia, and i saw you-" you paused to flip your phone over and shaking your head at the barrage of texts from her. "-like two hours ago." you turned it back over and opened your text book again.
"well i missed you. so you didn't miss me?" alessia asked, and beneath the hard mean exterior she often exhibited, she was always herself with you and you didn't miss the slight whiff of insecurity hidden in the question.
"of course i missed you less. but it was one night, and you could get us both in trouble!" you dropped your pen with a sigh, leaning your head back on your chair and staring up at the blonde behind you with a small smile.
"well, then at least we'd keep each other company on the bench wouldn't we?" alessia grinned, english accent thick as she leaned down to connect your lips, warm hands cupping your cheeks and necklace clinking as it tapped against your forehead, though that wasn't anything you weren't already used to.
"i love you." alessia pulled away, squeezing your cheeks slightly between her fingers before letting you go, retreating back to the bed and flopping down, wiggling around to get comfortable.
"shoes less." you interrupted as she went to speak, nodding to her sneakers which were currently resting atop your comforter. "an 'i love you too' would have sufficed, so bossy." your girlfriend rolled her eyes playfully but none the less pulled herself into a sitting position, yanking off her shoes and tossing them in a corner.
"you know i love you, but i hate when you wear shoes inside." You sighed with a pointed look to which she simply waved you off. "yeah yeah and you hate outside clothes touching your bed as well, i know all your little quirks baby."
"my little quirks? shall we discuss your game day routine?" you asked amused, pink flushing the strikers cheeks as she huffed. "doesn't count! all footballers have traditions on a game day, you're just weird." alessia shrugged as you scoffed.
"one; its soccer, remember where you are. and two; i'm weird?" you crossed your arms and glared her down only making her grin and wiggle her eyebrows. "the weirdest. but i still love you, don't i? just risked a broken leg for you baby girl, wouldn't do that for just anyone." the striker smiled charmingly as you hummed.
"no you're normally the breaker of legs." "hey that is so not fair! it was one time, a freak accident." "mm and it just so happened to be my ex involved in this freak accident?" "right? such a coincidence."
"whatever you say hot head. aren't british people supposed to be well mannered?" you chuckled, picking up your pen again as your girlfriend mocked you under her breath.
"you're not seriously going to study are you?" the striker groaned, voice thick with annoyance as she collapsed back atop the bed, head hitting your pillows with a small thump.
"well one of us needs to be the smart one in this relationship." you smiled in amusement, the older girl lifting her head and shooting an unimpressed glare in your direction. "and what's that supposed to mean?" alessia challenged, propping her head up on her hand.
"it means you know if you studied for once, or spent the same amount of time doing the work as you do complaining about it, you might not need to keep retaking things!" you gasped sarcastically, clapping your hands together before wrapping them around yourself with a shiver as a cold gust of wind blew through slightly open window.
"and if you actually closed your window in the middle of winter or wore pants, you wouldn't be so cold!" alessia retorted back with the same sarcastic bite, hauling herself to her feet and making her way over to the window.
"i like the window being open a little, it helps me think, and if I don't want to wear pants then i won't!" you defended as she yanked the window closed with a loud bang, grunting with effort.
"oh i would never complain about you not wearing pants my love." alessia smiled coyly, perching herself directly across from you on the end of your bed.
you'd first properly met the english girl at a frat party, your first since enrolling at UNC, invited by the girls in your dorm when they saw you didn't have any friday night plans, one of them dating one of the boys in the frat.
you had soccer tryouts on monday and though not usually a heavy drinker or party goer during season you'd agreed to accompany them, your families words about embracing college life ringing in your ears.
several shots later and you found yourself roped into playing a heated game of beer pong against alessia and one of the girls from your dorm emily, who you were delighted to learn when you moved in was also part of the soccer program at UNC.
"if we lose you're drinking that last cup, I can barely see straight." you mumbled to your other roommate sam who simply clapped you on the back. "if you could see straight i'd know you were having a terrible time." the girl grinned before taking her turn, missing by a mile.
"oh come on you can do better than that carter!" one of her friends jeered from beside the pair of you, a small group gathered and watching the game.
"i know we can." emily smirked, her turn now as she effortlessly sunk their final ball, not having missed a single throw as the small crowd cheered and you groaned.
"you're up!" you shoved sam toward the deadly final cup, knowing that it was filled with various remnants of everyone else's drinks, disgusted at the mere thought of how it would taste.
you watched on with a wince as she somehow downed the entire thing, gagging a little but steadying herself before fist pumping and tossing the cup over her shoulder with a cry of victory.
shaking your head with a small smile you left her to attempt to keep flirting with one of the frat boys she had been insistent looked exactly like her future husband as you wandered away from the table, searching the crowded room for any of your other friends you'd made this week in your classes.
but unable to see any you collapsed onto the couch instead, taking a small sip of your drink, though sam had mixed it for you and you'd been warned she had a notoriously heavy pour, so you put it aside with a wince.
"so what do I get for winning?" you looked up hearing an unfamiliar voice behind you, tensing in surprise as one of the girls you'd just lost to catapulted herself over the top of the couch, landing nimbly beside you.
"sorry?" you raised an eyebrow in confusion, taking in the smiling blue eyed blonde beside you, seeing it was indeed the girl who'd paired off with emily earlier.
she wore blue frayed jean shorts and a tight slightly lowcut tank top, neck adorned in at least three different necklaces, all beginning to get tangled with one another though she didn't seem to care.
"you lost, your friend sam drank but you didn't. so i'll ask again, what do I get for winning?" she asked again, a dopey grin gracing her lips as you chuckled.
"the rewarding sense of self satisfaction that you beat two drunk uncoordinated idiots at a game designed for douchey frat boys. take it or leave it!" you bit back, surprise flickering across the girls face at your sudden change of tone, though her features melted back into an amused smile.
"alessia." she introduced herself, extending the hand which wasn't draped over the back of the couch toward you. you gave your own name back as you shook her hand before dropping it, shifting on the couch and tucking one leg under another, placing your own hands in your lap.
"you know i have a feeling we're gonna become really well acquainted." alessia grinned, subtly shuffling a few paces closer to you on the couch.
"nice accent. where are you from?" you ignored her remark, the english girl with a slight twang you couldn't quite place. "guess." she sat back a little and raised an eyebrow as you paused.
"london?" "is that because its the only english capitol you know?" "no, you're just...posh sounding?" "posh!" the girl laughed as you couldn't help but allow a grin to curl into your own features.
"you're new, right?" alessia changed the conversation and you shifted under her piercing stare as her bright eyes looked you up and down.
"maybe I've been here for years, you don't know me." you smiled, reaching over for your cup and once again wincing as you took a small sip, placing it back on the coffee table.
"oh i'd know if you'd been here for two years, i never forget a face." she grinned. "but this is also my first year too, so maybe not." the blonde admitted as you pushed her lightly with a playful roll of your eyes.
"are you always so sure of yourself?" you questioned with a shake of your head. "sure of myself? no. confident? i try to be." alessia shrugged honestly and without having known her for more than a few minutes you couldn't deny that did in fact radiate off of her.
"so what are you here for?" alessia asked curiously, finishing her drink and placing her empty cup down beside yours. "well since you're so confident alessia, why don't you tell me?" you smiled slyly as the blonde hummed and looked you up and down for a moment.
"you're studying...psychology? mm no. maybe business? marketing? this wasn't your first choice school but you didn't get accepted to that one, plus your best friend was going to go here so you decided to join her. you call your parents every weekend, your mom lets say...almost every day. you broke up with your boyfriend because you 'didn't want to try distance' but in reality you'd been bored of him for months. am i close?" alessia grinned cheekily, tilting her head as she leaned in a little closer, only half an arms length away from you now.
"hmmm...no. i'm majoring in journalism as a backup this was my first choice school, because as a d1 athlete the soccer program here has had my name on it for years." you began to lean in closer as you spoke, hyper aware of the warm hand which was now resting on your knee as you did so.
"-i moved here alone from california. i don't talk to my parents much, i call my mom maybe once a week if i have to because she just begs me to come back home. i broke up with my girlfriend because she cheated on me with one of my now ex best friends, though she could get a little boring sometimes." you shrugged, your face now only a few centimetres away from alessia, whose eyes were trained on yours.
"nice to meet you alessia." you breathed out with a smile, your lips a hairsbreadth from hers as you pulled away, grabbing your drink and walking off to find sam or emily, feeling her eyes follow you the entire way, unaware of how fast your heart was beating in your chest as you did.
"hey that's mine, i was looking for that this morning!" the taller girl raised an eyebrow, pointing to the large shirt you had covering the top half of your body. "mine now." You smiled coyly, tucking your knee up to your chest as she shook her head, unamused.
"you know I don't care if you borrow my clothes california but at least eventually give them back."
"well i look better in them anyway russo." you smiled smugly not at all meaning what you said, you adored the way alessia dressed. "very cute, but I'm still taking it back with me tomorrow, it's my favourite." alessia shook her head again, having bought the article of clothing from the gift shop her first week of college.
"and you're studying again." alessia groaned as you turned back to your paper. "don't you also have things to work on? like your sociology class you're set to fail?" you questioned glancing over your shoulder and waiting for whatever else it was you knew she wanted to say.
"hey i can still pass if i take the test again or write a make up paper." alessia explained as you hummed along in understanding, turning your attention to your own essay.
"but let me guess, you haven't started either and you have no intention of working on it at all this weekend?" you chuckled with a shake of your head, unable to see but knowing the blonde had rolled her eyes.
"the paper has to be at least four thousand words and give my opinion on a previous medical study or report which was deemed 'unethical'." alessia started to explain as you hummed again, fully aware of the minutes ticking by in which you weren't spending writing your own paper, knowing you both needed to be in bed by midnight to get a goods night rest before the game.
"so i was thinking-" alessia started as you scoffed lightly. "thats dangerous." you interrupted, your girlfriend giving you a serious dose of side eye before continuing. "so i was thinking. can you help me write it? i have a week." alessia finished with a smile, and now it all made sense.
"i knew there was an angle. you only snuck here to use me!" you huffed, giving her an unimpressed glare over your shoulder. "no i didn't! i mean yes, but no. please gorgeous you're so smart you barely even have to try!" alessia whined, shooting up to her feet.
"no. now get out and climb back to your own room, i'm busy." you mumbled annoyed, shrugging off her arms as she attempted to wrap them around you from behind. alessia huffed, moving to the side and tugging at her shirt on your body, trying to pull you off the chair and into her arms instead.
"go away alessia." you warned but before you could even utter another word the pencil was yanked from your hand and a warm hand firmly gripped your chin and turned your head.
"i didn't just come here to ask you to write a paper baby, i promise." the blonde assured softly, hands moving to cup your face and you'd be lying if your stomach didn't flip a little.
"i need to write my own paper and we have a game tomorrow." you sighed pulling your face away, her own softening as she took her seat back at the end of your bed, your pen captive in her hand as she swiped it from the desk.
"It's only friday you have plenty of time baby. come on and give me a cuddle at least, i really did come here cause i missed you." she opened her arms expectantly with a pout, getting up with a sigh eventually caving in as she knew you would.
"you're so annoying sometimes." you mumbled as you sat on her lap facing her, wrapping your arms around her neck as her own hugged your waist, the two of you sitting there just holding one another for a moment.
"i literally saw you a couple of hours ago, needy." you teased, leaning down to peck her lips a couple of times, her grip tightening around your waist.
"correct. but you slept over last night, and this morning i believe we started something before I had to leave for class, didn't we?" alessia grinned suggestively, hands moving to rest on your upper thighs.
"did we? guess I forget." you pouted sarcastically, moving her hands off your thighs and trying to reach for the pen still secured tightly within them.
"nah uh, you have to earn it." alessia smirked, holding it out of reach behind her head. "you know i literally have a whole handful of pens over there right?" you snickered, nodding behind her to your overnight bag on the floor.
"but you still gotta get through me to get to them." alessia challenged, tossing the pencil over her shoulder as it landed on the floor with a clatter.
"since you forgot, let me jog your memory gorgeous." alessia breathed out against your neck, peppering the warm skin with small kisses, hands moving slowly around your waist and resting cheekily on your ass.
"alessia." you tried to warn seriously, though it came out as more of a breathy moan as the blonde suddenly nipped at your neck, simultaneously squeezing your ass in her hands.
"yes love?" she hummed, slowly kissing up your jaw. "we have to-" you paused as she dipped her head and bit down on the other side of your neck, harshly sucking to form a bright red hickey.
alessia had always been a biter from the moment the two of you crashed down into bed together, even if it was just to get your attention when she deemed you weren't paying enough of it to her.
the girl was notoriously mean to everyone but you, but that didn't stop her from being cruel in other ways when it suited her, the english woman perhaps the most eager tease you'd ever met.
"we have to?" alessia trailed off mockingly, moving her assault on your neck down a little lower as her hands moved to trail up your sides.
then before you could even utter another syllable her grip tightened on your hips and she pushed you down on the bed, moving to sit herself on top of you.
"we have to..." the striker whispered again, leaning down to tug on your earlobe with her teeth as her hand trailed up your stomach, nails gently raking down the bare skin, your shirt pooled up around your neck.
"do you remember yet baby?" alessia hummed with a grin, moving her jogger clad knee to rest between your legs and leaning down to connect your lips.
you withheld a groan as she bit down on your bottom lip, small gasp as she pressed her knee against you all she needed to take control of the kiss, tongue roaming your mouth freely.
"nope! no no no, we can't!" you pulled yourself from the hazy fog she was trying to drown you in and sat up suddenly, alessia falling off of you with a squeal as you pulled your shirt down and stood.
"no sex the night before a game. we have an agreement less!" you whined, burying your face in your hands and counting to fifteen, trying to will your body to leave its current state of need for the blonde.
"well fuck the agreement love i'm horny!" the brit hissed bluntly as you peeked out from your hands with a glare. "then count! we have an agreement for a reason." you reminded firmly, a slight pinch to your neck alerting you to a different problem as you hurried to the bathroom.
"alessia!" you shouted with a scowl, touching the two fast forming love bites on your neck with a wince, the blondes head popping sheepishly into the doorway as she shrunk beneath your glare.
however before either of you could say another word there was a knock at the door and both your heads snapped toward the door, your coach calling out your name.
"hide!" you mouthed at the blonde, yanking her into the bathroom as you stepped out, looking around the room wildly and hurrying to shove any evidence you weren't here alone into the closet as another knock and your name sounded again.
a towel hit you in the head as you spun around and glared at your girlfriend who'd thrown it. "hickeys!" she pointed to her neck as you hurried to sling the towel around your neck as if going for a shower.
taking a moment to collect yourself you rubbed your eyes a few times and slowly cracked open the door. "yeah coach?" you asked, faking a yawn as the womans eyes narrowed.
"i heard you yell, something wrong?" she asked suspiciously, trying to see behind you as you closed the door a little more. "no no, must have been someone else. night coach!" you assured, trying to close the door properly as a hand grabbed it and you winced.
"you won't mind if i check you're here alone then, will you?" "of course not coach." you forced a smile and opened the door properly, gesturing for her to come in.
"bit late to be studying, we need you sharp on defense tomorrow, its critical we maintain a low block." the woman noted your materials scattered across the desk in the corner as you hurried to note you weren't aware of the time.
"i could have sworn i heard you shout your girlfriends name. and i would hope that the captain of the team would know better than to be breaking rules?" the woman seemed to emphasize her point a little louder.
"oh we were uh, on facetime coach! we'd just hung up." you quickly lied with a smile as she hummed. "so i could shower! then head right to bed." you tugged on the towel with a somewhat nervous chuckle as she hummed again.
"well i'll leave you to it then." the woman did a quick check of the bathroom and you tried not to let the relief flood your face as she seemed satisfied you were alone, one last scan of the room before she left.
you barely exhaled before there was a thump and your girlfriend came careering out of the bathroom where she'd been hidden in the shower. "she is absolutely heading for your room now you idiot, go!" you whispered, shoving her with a huff.
"not that way! the way you came." you hissed, turning her around and pushing her toward the balcony door. "god you are so bossy, and everyone says i'm the mean one?" alessia scoffed as you smacked the back of her head.
"not the time! go!" you shoved her as she stumbled, catching herself and shivering. "hoodie!" she demanded as you rolled your eyes and hurried off to collect it, tossing it in her face and stepping back to shut the door.
"hey! what about my kiss?" the girl scowled as you stared at her in disbelief, a finger tapping her lips expectantly as you rolled your eyes but stepped forward, bunching her shirt in your hands and pressing your lips to hers.
"this was hot, like a forbidden love!" alessia grinned as you pulled away and pushed her toward the edge of the balcony where she'd climbed over. "yeah it'll be forbidden when you get suspended for being an asshole, go russo!" you pointed firmly as she blew you another kiss and swung a leg over the railing.
"i love you." "i love you." she repeated again as you went to close the door. "i love you!" a third time.
"oh my god shut up someone will hear you! i love you too, now go!"
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let it once be me | the prophecy part 3



note: hey ,,, remember her ,,,,,,,,, ! feeling hashtag nervous to post this but pls tell me ur thoughts this went through !!! so many drafts !!! almost lost my mind like thirty times lol but thank u for reading <3 (reading prior parts may be helpful in having context for this part but im not really sure it's necessary, they're way shorter than this part either way)
summary: you and spencer are faced with yet another wedge in your relationship, and you're not sure if it'll survive this time
cw: heavy spoilers for everett lynch arc (15.10), we're ignoring the cm tl and time doesn't exist, maeve flashback, hurt/comfort, angst, happy ending !
wc: 8k (wtf)
part 1 part 2 part 3
Spencer feels he’s lived many lives, and that his lived experiences have thoroughly prepared him to navigate novel situations with a small familiarity. A cushion really, to allow him the comfort of seeing the path before he has to walk it blind. It almost acts as a sense of pride for him, a testament to what he’s overcome and capable of facing.
There’s nothing prideful about how awful things have been going with you.
It’s been weeks since your talk with him. Weeks since he vowed to prove to you that you were it for him, and he’s made so little progress he finds it embarrassing for someone with his caliber of intellect.
He’s toeing a fine line between being in your presence enough for you to see that he’s trying, and giving you space so that you don’t feel smothered. It was harder in the immediate days after your talk, when you couldn’t even stand to stay in the same room as him for more than five minutes. You had come home to his apartment the day after having decided Penelope had enough of your moping. Once you got in you immediately went to settle into the guest room.
It was near radio silent between you both those first few days. He didn’t want to force you, but it didn’t feel great when you would leave a room as soon as he’d enter. As the days went on, Spencer started getting resourceful. He’d make you breakfast in the morning and leave it on the table for you, your coffee next to it made exactly how you take it. Then it was little notes left in the most random places, all written with different things he loved about you. He never saw your reaction when you read them, but they’d always disappear from its spot the next day. Little things to remind you he’s there for you.
More days passed and it finally felt like the ice was starting to melt away. You’d started lingering longer in the living room if he was sat at the table still. One time you even made breakfast for the both of you, and although you weren’t there to eat it with him Spencer had never felt more hopeful.
In the field your dynamics changed even more. Normally, he would make sure to be paired up with you in the field to personally ensure that you were being safe. Since the fallout however, he didn’t want to be an unwelcome presence that only left you more tense in high stake situations. So he’d do things like privately tell Emily to double check your bulletproof vest, or make sure Luke was at your 6 if he couldn’t do it himself.
The last thing he wanted was for your current circumstance with each other, one that he knows he created, to distract you in the field and god forbid cause something to happen to you. He would never forgive himself if you got hurt because of him, but Spencer remembers he’s already done the worst hurt he can fathom to you, and what he really means is that he can’t afford to hurt you any further. As much as it worried him to do so, he had reluctantly learned to place some trust in his teammates to keep you safe. It was a balance he’d learned to adapt to.
It worked fine until it didn’t.
The silent car ride from the jet back to your apartment was so thick with tension, but not the one you’ve both become accustomed to over the weeks. No this was a different strain of anger, one that descended down to the primal nature of your relationship—you endangering yourself.
Spencer opens the door, barely waiting for you to enter behind him before slamming it shut. “That, what you did today, was fucking reckless.”
The anger flares through your widened eyes, “Reckless? I saved the hostages, Spencer. He would have killed them!”
“And what about you?”
“What about me, I had it handled.” you huff.
He raises his hands in exasperation, “He had a gun to your head!” he yells, “You have no idea what it’s like to see that.”
“This isn’t the first time someone drew a weapon on me, and there’s definitely more times than I can count when they’ve drawn one on you,” you pause, “Or is it different right now because you got deja vu?”
“What’s that supposed to mean—” Spencer’s face pales in recognition, “That’s not fair.”
“The hell do you mean it’s not fair? You expect me to believe otherwise?”
“He was going to shoot you!” he loudly repeats, “You don’t think I care about your safety?”
“I think you only give a shit right now because you thought another girl you loved was about to get her brains blown out in front of you. Again.”
He’s stunned into silence. Your words feel like a paralytic to Spencer. Like venom slowly traveling down his veins seizing any chance for his body to save himself. All the progress he thinks you both have made just unraveled itself into nothing. It’s paradoxical that his mind is quiet. You’re usually the reason his mind can relax, but somehow you’ve achieved the same outcome by metaphorically stabbing him square in the face.
He can’t understand when you developed the idea that he could care less about you. He can’t understand how you can even think he would be capable of
of not being with you entirely. He can’t understand where along the line you started believing that he stopped loving you.
It may not be a sentiment you actually hold, but he prides himself on being a good profiler, and more so knowing you better than himself. He knows that’s what you’re thinking, and there’s nothing he can do to fix it.
He speaks under his breath after a couple of minutes, “How long are we going to keep doing this?”
“Doing what—“
“This!” He gestures wildly with his hands. “This back and forth where you’ve convinced yourself you’re able to move past this but clearly can’t!”
You stare at him, “Look, I’m trying.”
“Doesn’t feel like it.”
The familiar sting burns the backs of your eyes, the first sign of your resolve crumbling. “That’s not fair.”
He sighs and moves closer, your head hanging low and finding the wooden floor patterns deeply interesting. “You won’t even look at me.” he whispers, “Do you still love me?”
You look up at him stunned, “Spencer…I—I do…It’s just…”
He feels his heart breaking in a new way, “That’s not convincing.”
“Can you blame me?”
“No, I guess I can't,” he shakes his head defeatedly. “I don’t know what else I can do, baby.”
“…I want to forgive you.”
Spencer’s eyes blur from tears, “But you can’t.”
“I don’t know how,” you whisper before a sardonic chuckle leaves you, “You know me, memory like an elephant.”
Spencer refrains from telling you that dolphins are actually the species with the longest memory capacity, and that the reason for possessing such a feature is to maintain the social dynamics and relationships that come with survival in the ocean. A dolphin’s memory is what keeps them rooted back to where they belong, being able to remember individuals and behaviors even after being apart for so long. That no matter how far they stray, they’ll always come home.
He settles for a soft agreement, “Yeah, I do know you.”
You make the mistake of meeting his eyes, equally and tragically as broken as yours, puffy and red rimmed.
“I don’t know what to do.” you whisper brokenly.
“I don’t either.”
The silence weighs heavy in the living room. The metronomic tick of the clock becomes louder, the birds and the wind outside whistle louder. You’re cornered, forced to come to face the results. And like a prey backed into the corner you do what the prey do best—You run.
“I have to go.” you grab the keys and put your shoes on.
“What?” he steps closer, “You can’t just leave, we just got home.”
“I can’t be here right now,” your voice cracks, “I just…need some time to think.”l
Spencer’s heart falls straight through the floor. Time to think about what? Is this when the foundation beneath you both finally buckles under the immense pressure it’s been on for weeks, and you’re left to scavenge the ruins?
As much as it pains him to let you walk out the door, he knows that nothing would be accomplished at home and it would only hurt you more to stay.
“Okay.” he whispers.
“Okay.”
“Be safe.” I love you.
You look back, “I will. You too.” I love you too.
The door shuts gentler this time, as if careful not to disturb the few pieces of Spencer still left standing behind the door. It doesn’t matter, they’ve already fallen over. Any resolve he had left is slipping away with every step you take further away, never feeling more defeated in his life than this moment.
He trudges over to the study, hoping he can at least bury himself in work to distract himself from the turmoil of his reality. The desk is strewn across with files and papers, mentally making a list of the tasks he has to do. At the top of his to-do list is the Everett Lynch case, having just closed the case a few days back meaning the paperwork would be due to the brass soon.
Spencer glances over the open file and reviews the details of the final moments of the case, recalling the stark change in Lynch’s MO that still left him puzzled. The victimology and the profile just didn’t add up to what actually happened, why he ended up dying with his mother in the house. That wasn’t supposed to happen, Spencer wasn’t supposed to send five SWAT agent in not knowing their fate only seconds later. How the case simply ended anticlimactically after nearly a year long chase. A dull ache begins to form in his head as he thinks, the bureau is going to have a field day processing this case.
He rubs his forehead with his hand to soothe the pain building up, making a note to get painkillers after he finishes. As he continues to read the file he starts to see his confusion take a basis as the initial profile doesn’t add up at all to what actually happened, in fact for as long as he evaded the FBI he really shouldn’t have just, died.
Spencer freezes. Did he die?
Lynch wouldn’t just commit suicide, that was too easy. He watched the house blow up with him and his mother inside, not even including the agents the explosion took out with it. The pain in his head is too much to bear at this point and he decides that getting Advil can’t wait until he’s done. He stands up and immediately wobbles as he grips the desk for support. Through the blurred vision and spinning room Spencer tries to makes sense of Lynch’s discrepancy.
Everett Lynch wouldn’t commit suicide, because he didn’t.
“He’s still alive.” he realizes gravely. Then it all goes black.
———
You get in your car and drive off to god knows where, just not there. It’s sheer autopilot driving you to the other side of town, which is more than welcomed as the tears threaten to blur your vision coming down in hot trails. You end up pulling into the parking lot of your favorite donut shop, one that you discovered with Spencer a little before you started dating. There was time to kill after being paired up to visit the unsub’s dump site and you were so insistent about needing a sweet treat, Spencer thought it was clinical.
“You’re acting like you’ll die if we don’t stop for a, what did you call it? A sweet treat?”
“I will!” you whine, “Don’t you know that girls, specifically me, are mandated to have at least one sweet treat per day?”
He pulls into the parking lot of the donut shop he’d spotted on the way there. “Oh yeah? What happens if you don’t?” he teases.
“You’ll see me as the unsub in the next case.”
Spencer can’t help the laugh that leaves him, loud and earnest. “Alright, c’mon. We already have enough criminals to last us till retirement.”
You and Spencer are definitely not together at this moment in time, but the little old lady owner of the shop really can’t believe otherwise as she watches you both bicker about which flavors you’re getting for the half dozen box. She’s almost certain you’re together as she watches Spencer end up getting all the flavors you wanted despite putting up a fight for others. And she’s fully convinced, with no room for sway, that you are together as Spencer pulls his card out before you can even protest and watches as you miss the look he gives you as you dramatically sigh in content after the first bite.
Spencer would later tell you after a few months together, that the donut shop was the first time he realized he was in love with you. You recall how the same half dozen would appear on your desk every Friday since that first visit, with one chocolate sprinkled donut missing but placed on a napkin on Spencer’s desk. You would joke that he pavloved his way into your heart with donuts, but wouldn’t reveal your true cards that you fell in love with Spencer after a month on the job. The donut shop happened the week after.
“You alright, hon?” the little old lady owner breaks your thoughts.
You look around and realize you’ve walked yourself into the shop. You wipe at your eyes quickly, “I’m okay, Dolores. Can I just get the usual half dozen please?”
She’s not convinced but it seems she knows better than to ask and pry. She gathers the usual six donuts for the box, slipping in an extra one just for good measure, and rings you up at the register.
“Seven right?” you mumble as you file through your bag for the loose ten.
Dolores smiles, “It’s on the house today, hon. Don’t worry.”
You look up at her, knowing she’s only doing that because you showed up with tear streaks on your face, “Oh, no it’s okay you don’t have to do that let me just—“
She pushes the box towards you, “You both tip enough to cover the box anyway, please just take it. Hope you feel better soon, hon.”
Her kind gesture thaws your heart out a little and you give her a small smile. “Thanks, Dolores.”
You walk back to your car, locking the doors once you get in. You don’t move to turn the car on, opting to allow your emotions to overflow again in solitude with the comfort of a bavarian kreme donut. The tears prick your eyes on instinct thinking of the current state of your life, of your relationship.
Spencer was right, have you convinced yourself you’re capable of moving past this? You do still love Spencer, you knew that much. But you are hurt, you are tired, and you just want to stop feeling like you’ll always come in second place even when there’s no one to occupy first place. You’ve waited so long to feel chosen, like someone has waited all their life for someone like you to come around. Meeting Spencer felt like finding the little daisies that grew in between the cracks of concrete, proof that despite your stone hard exterior you were still worthy of being loved.
The sound of your phone ringing jolts you up, almost dropping your donut. With your free hand you look at the caller and press accept.
“Hi, Emily.” you try to make your voice sound even.
“Hey we’ve got a—wait are you okay?”
You clear your throat, “Yeah, totally fine don’t worry. What’s up?”
It’s clear she doesn’t believe you but Emily really doesn’t have time right now, “Listen, Lynch is still alive.”
You almost choke. “What?”
“The casualty report doesn’t include Lynch and they couldn’t find his body anywhere. While they were searching the house they found tunnels. He escaped.”
“Fuck, okay what do you need me to do?”
“There’s a gas station clerk who thinks he saw him and his car, I need you and Matt to go check it out and see what he knows.”
You scramble to put your donut down and wipe your hands on the napkin, “Yeah, of course I’m on my way.”
“Okay, Matt will meet you there,” she pauses, “I…Is Spencer with you?”
Your heart clenched again, “No, he’s not. He’s at the apartment.”
Emily hums, “He didn’t pick up when I called, it’s okay I’ll send JJ and Penelope to go get him. Reconvene at the bureau in a couple hours?”
“Sounds good.” you hang up and immediately start driving over to the gas station. Something doesn’t feel right, you can feel it in your gut. You quickly check Spencer’s location just to be safe, and relax when you see he’s still at home. He’s probably just taking a nap.
What Emily decides you can’t ever know about is the call she gets twenty minutes later from a hysterically crying Penelope, who in between sobs tells her that they’re on the way to George Washington Hospital. That when JJ and Penelope opened the door to Spencer’s apartment he was passed out on the floor, blood dripping from his nose. How when JJ went to start CPR he entered a seizure and coded in the ambulance.
No, you can’t know this, because Emily knows that the call alone that she has to give you is going to shatter your broken pieces even further.
—
You pull out your phone to call Emily and see an incoming call from her, “Hey, I was just about to call you. The guy said he drove a red ford pickup, we were able to get the license plate from the security cameras but it came up as a stolen plate—“
Emily says your name in a tone you’ve never heard her use. It makes you stop in your tracks, an icy chill shooting down your spine, “What?”
“Something’s happened.”
You step outside of the gas station shop holding your breath, “What do you mean?”
Emily pinches the bridge of her nose, “It’s about Spencer, he’s…”
She pauses for too long. The panic rises fast. “Emily.”
“They found him passed out on the floor of his apartment. Penelope called 911 and they’re on the way to the hospital right now.”
No.
No, no, no.
The color drains from your face as fast as your heart plunges to the ground. “Wh—what?”
She’s lying, she has to be right? You just saw Spencer literally a few hours ago and he was fine. No signs of distress or anything, she has to be lying. She has to be lying.
“The EMT thinks he has a brain bleed, it um…caused him to have a seizure when JJ and Penelope found him.”
The nausea rises before you can anticipate it, scanning your surroundings for a trash can and immediately hurling up the contents of your stomach. Wiping your mouth with your sleeve you put the phone back to your ear, “Which hospital?”
“George Washington Memorial, they should already be there by now.”
“Okay, I’m on the way.” you sniffle.
Emily doesn’t know what other encouraging words she can provide you, she doesn’t think any words exist to comfort herself even let alone you. “Keep me updated please.”
The call ends and you have to steady yourself on the nearby wall, head reeling with mountainous emotions and unable to make sense of any of them.
You look around through blurred eyes for Matt calling out to him, “Matt, Matt give me the keys I need to go to the hospital.” you hold a shaky hand out.
He looks at you confused and concerned, “What? Are you okay, why do you need to go—“
“Sp—“ you stutter, unable to even speak the words into existence, “Spencer’s in the hospital.”
Matt’s face pales, “I’ll drive you, come on.”
—
“They said it’s a brain bleed.” you mumble after a few minutes of silence in the car.
“A brain bleed? How could that have…” he trails off in realization.
“What?” you ask nervously.
He grips the steering wheel harder, “The bomb, at the Lynch house.”
Fuck. The EMTs who checked him out that day said he only had a mild concussion, nothing else to be concerned about. A few cuts and scratches but nothing that wouldn’t heal. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t supposed to happen to him.
You sniffle and hastily wipe at your face again, your skin growing red with irritation with every contact.
Matt looks at you with a look he wouldn’t call pity, but certainly close, “It’s going to be okay, he’ll pull through. He always does.”
Your eyes squeeze shut as if it could prevent the fresh wave of tears from falling, “You don’t know that.”
He sighs deeply and turns into the hospital parking lot, stopping in front of the entrance, “Go in, I’ll park the car.”
You open the car door and rush inside the lobby, finding the receptionist immediately. She looks up at you and her face softens in empathy, “Who are you here for?”
“Um, Spencer Reid. He should have just gotten in.” you strain.
The receptionist clacks a few buttons on her keyboard before speaking again, “It looks like he’s in the ICU, are you blood related?”
“Are we…what?” you ask confused.
“Well honey, because he’s in the ICU we can only let in blood related family or spouses to stay with them.”
You outwardly deflate, “Oh…I—“
“She’s his fiancée!”
You look to the source of the new voice and are met with Penelope, donning matching red rimmed eyes and puffy cheeks. Her eyes look at you in silent communication and you turn back to the desk, “Y—Yeah, I’m his fiancée.”
If the receptionist isn’t convinced she doesn’t show it, willing to turn a blind eye in pure understanding of the situation. “Room 204.”
“Thank you.” You duck down the hall scanning the numbers before coming up on 204, the door cracked open slightly. Your hand hovers over the handle in hesitation, scared of what you’ll find on the other side. Penelope comes up behind you and rests her hand on yours and helps you open the door.
The sight hits you like a truck. All the wires hooked up to his limbs pumping IV fluids and the heart monitor beeping steadily. He’s paler than you’ve ever seen him. His skin is clammy, the hair sticking to his forehead. You can see that from across the room and all you can think about is how uncomfortable he must feel from the sweat coating him. You used to tease him once upon a time when he’d sometimes take multiple showers a day because of how much it bothered him.
“Another shower? Spence, our water bill is about to be crazy.”
He laughs and waves you off, “Don’t worry about that, I can charge the water bill as bureau compensation.”
“Okay, one that sounds illegal. Two, the more time you spend in the shower, the less time you spend with me.” you moan with fake petulance.
You yelp as he suddenly sneaks up behind you, caging you to his chest with his arms, “So join me.”
“Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of getting clean?” you giggle, leaning your head back into the crevice of his neck.
He presses a soft kiss to your temple, “You do know what showers are for, right?”
You nod, “To get clean! It would get even dirtier before it got cleaner.”
“I think that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”
The smile on your face grows the widest it can before you break off into a sprint down the hallway towards the bathroom, Spencer trailing behind with your laughs mixing in the light air.
You don’t know why you’re thinking so deeply about the state of his perspiration, maybe a convoluted defense mechanism your brain conjured up so you don’t have to come to terms with Spencer lying near comatose a few feet away.
Your feet hesitantly carry you closer to the bed, feeling somewhat calmed by the slow rise and fall of his chest. You lean down and look him over, as if you could see the damaged inflicted on him even though it’s nestled deep in his brain. Spencer always said his brain would lead to his demise, and you hope all those times you played it off as a joke that it cemented itself as one, a joke. That you would be able to see his hazel eyes open again and they’d fill you with reassurance that he wasn’t going anywhere, that all he needed in this world was you, and that he loved you.
You will and wish and hope to have his eyes open. You try not to think about if you’ll ever get to see them again.
A choked sob escapes your throat before you can help it, your hand coming over your mouth to muffle the impact. Spencer is hurt. Spencer is fighting for his life, and you were fighting him not even a few hours ago.
“Oh, honey,” Penelope reaches for your shoulders and pulls you into a hug, “He’s gonna be okay, the doctors said the surgery went well. Just waiting for him to wake up now.”
You cry even harder and Penelope tightens her grip on you, determined to not let you fall further down the slope.
“W—We got into a fight,” you sniffle, “before I left. It was bad, Penny. He was so mad, and then I was so mad. And then I just left.”
“You didn’t know this would happen, honey. None of us did.”
“I didn’t even say I love you. Th—The last conversation we had was a fucking fight a—and now…” you cry, “He can’t die, Pen. He can’t die I didn’t even get to tell him—“
Penelope grabs your face with both of her hands, “Hey. No, we’re not doing that. We are not spiraling, not when there’s no reason to. Okay?”
Whatever response you had falls dead on your lips when you take another look at Spencer’s motionless body on the bed. The calmness on his face is a stark difference from the Spencer you saw only a few hours ago.
She was right, there’s nothing you can do right now but wait. You’d just have to trust that Spencer would pull through.
You almost chuckle dryly through the tears. Trust and Spencer? The irony of it all laughs in your face.
—
Spencer’s eyes blink open and adjust to the bright light blinding him. He takes in his surroundings and realizes he’s standing in the middle of the bullpen. That’s weird, he thinks, I thought I was in the study.
“Reid, you sure you don’t want to join me and Elle in Jamaica?” Derek sings, “My guy can swing you a great deal.”
Derek? Elle?
He snaps his head in the direction of the voice, seeing Derek not even looking in his direction but still looking towards Spencer. Just, a different and much younger Spencer.
“Have a great two weeks off everyone, you all deserve it. Don’t call me at my cabin.” Gideon rushes out as he beelines to the door right past Spencer. “Seriously, don’t call me.”
Gideon? But Gideon…died. Where is he?
The scene changes with a snap and suddenly he’s back in his apartment, his old apartment. The one he lived in before he moved in with you. He is definitely in a dream, though with the vividity and theme of important people in his past he’s not entirely sure he’s only sleeping. A head of blonde hair on his couch catches his eye. He slowly walks around and his breath hitches at who he sees.
“Maeve?”
She smiles softly, “Hi Spencer.”
He slowly walks around the couch and kneels in front of her. The tears prick his eyes before he can help it, “I didn’t think I’d get to see you again. I—I’m so sorry for—“
Maeve holds a hand up, “What happened to me wasn’t your fault, I promise. You did what you could. But that’s not why I’m here.”
“It’s not?”
She shakes her head. “You’re dying, Spence.”
His face falls, “I am?”
“Collateral from the explosion, you have a brain bleed.”
It takes a few minutes for him to comprehend what she said, and he can feel his head spinning fast in his head. He can’t actually be dying right? The explosion happened days ago and yet now is when his brain decides to tap out, that can’t be right.
It simply cannot be right because that’s when he remembers you and the last conversation he had with you, and he has to clutch his heart at the prospect of his fate.
He won’t know if you’ll ever forgive him, if you’ll ever learn to trust him again, if you even still love him. He won’t know anything if he dies. He cannot die.
“M—Maeve, I can’t be here I—“
She places her hand atop of his own and he feels her. He can feel her hand on his, like she’s real and here. It’s alarming, and warm. “I know, it’s okay. C’mon, let’s go for a walk.”
Maeve gestures for him to follow her and before his eyes the scene changes again to a nearby park, one that looks a little too familiar to him.
She starts walking through the park, “We’re all okay up here you know? I get to read a lot more now, there’s so much time to read and postulate. Sometimes I get lucky and I can meet the authors. I got to meet Kant and Dostoevsky a while ago, very interesting people. Gideon plays with this nice little octopus friend. I know he’s having the best time.” she laughs, “But you, Spencer Reid, are not okay down there.”
He looks up at her and swallows, “I know.”
She turns onto the fork in the trail, “What’s holding you back?”
“I don’t know,” he sighs.
“I think you do know.”
A few silent minutes pass. “I…I’m scared to let myself be happy again,” he admits.
Maeve looks at him with a saddened smile, “And why’s that?”
Because everything he loves leaves him. Because when he laughs just a little too hard, he’s already scanning the surroundings waiting for the other shoe to fall. Because when Spencer feels he’s trekked up the mountain with long and winding breaths, something always seems to be waiting at the top ready to knock him down.
“Don’t think I deserve it, to be honest.” he admits, “I keep…messing up everytime.”
Maeve stops walking, “You love so deeply, Spencer. It’s a blessing and a curse.”
“Emphasis on the curse.” he deprecates.
“It’s only a curse because you don’t let yourself feel wholly. I know given everything that’s happened it’s hard but,” she pauses, “You’re not a clipped bird, Spence. You just…lost a few feathers. Nothing you can’t get back.”
It’s easier said than done when it feels like his mere existence causes you pain as of late.
“I feel like I have to hold parts of me back so I can protect her…from myself.”
Maeve turns to him, “She deserves all of you, Spence. It is a privilege to be loved by you, but it’s a greater privilege to be loved. And you deserve to feel loved.”
“What if I ruin it?” More accurately, what if he’s already ruined it, is what he means.
“You are not destined for sorrow and misery, despite what your life has made you think. She loves you. She would not have stayed this long if she didn’t. But there is one thing I think she could use from you.”
Spencer looks at her expectantly waiting for her to continue.
“She wants to feel chosen, Spencer. And I know you think you choose her everyday just by loving her. But the reality is, you can’t fully choose her without choosing yourself first. That means allowing yourself to be happy.”
A few stray tears streak down his face and he haphazardly wipes them away. For the entirety of Spencer’s life his purpose was to be of service to others. With his intelligence, his kindness, his courage. His needs always came second because the few times he thought to put himself first, disaster struck.
When he met you this notion only reinforced itself, wanting to ensure he could make you as happy as he could. You became his priority and he didn’t mind that at all. It was easy being with you, you made life feel easy. So when Spencer started to let his guard down piece by piece, allowing himself the little bits of your happiness to seep into his being, he wasn’t thinking about the abyss that had always loomed over him his whole life.
He couldn’t, not when you managed to infiltrate his entire existence by wrapping and tethering yourself to him with strings of gold. How could he? You made things so easy.
But then prison happened. Then Cat, again. Then Maeve, again. Three strikes. It should have been game over by now. He broke your trust, betrayed your love and he wasn’t sure if you would even stay long enough to see the damage unfold. But you did, and he still can’t really figure out why.
So here he is in limbo? Purgatory? Some figment of his mind in the wake of near death that is giving him the opportunity to make amends. Not with Maeve or Gideon or you or any other grudge he has yet to settle in his life. No, he has the chance to make amends with himself and forgive himself for standing in the way of what he really deserves.
A faint beeping in the distance reels him back to the present moment, Maeve’s face coming into focus again. The dull ache in his eyes coming forward again with how many tears are falling.
“Love is our true destiny, we do not find the meaning of it alone, we find it with another.”
He smiles with a watery chuckle, “Thomas Merton.”
“Spencer, I promise you, you will be happy again. And forever. Just keep the door open when it comes knocking.”
The beeping starts to get louder, like it’s approaching him fast. A warm glow begins to build around him, then light. He looks around the park again and sees the trees and benches begin to blur. He looks at Maeve as she stands with a fond smile, her figure slowly fading as well.
“Take care, Spencer.” and with a blink Maeve is gone.
In the silence he is left in, he looks to the epitaph of Jason Gideon in front of him and back to the spot where Maeve was standing, whispering a soft, “You too.” before closing his eyes and succumbing to the beeping.
—
It’s been 4 hours since you’ve been sat next to his bed. You’d be a lot more concerned than you were, which is already a lot, if it wasn’t for his heartbeat monitor beeping steadily throughout the hours. A sign of life, as morbid as it sounds, but it’s hard to be rational given the circumstances.
It had taken all of 3.5 hours for you to braven up and hold his hand in comfort. Hour one you simply stared at his hand, as if it would regain mobility and reach out for you. Hour two you were able to place your hand on the bed, not anywhere near his obviously. But enough to feel close, satiated. By hour three you had your fingers mere millimeters from his own, feeling like a magnetic force of the same poles was repelling you.
The 3.5 hour mark is when the exhaustion of the day caught up to you, and finally allowed yourself to relax in his hand.
At hour 4.5 is when you felt the twitch.
You look up and whisper, “Spencer?”
He slowly opens his eyes, revealing his hazel brown irises with gold flecks on the insides that meet yours sitting right beside him. You can see the recognition begin to flood his face, but is stopped momentarily when he starts to panic realizing the breathing tube is still in his throat. You hit the call button besides his bed and watch the doctors rush in to help stabilize him back down.
It’s another two hours of testing and scans before the three of you are left alone again, with the nurse promising to check on him in a few hours.
You’re stiff next to him, unsure what to do now that he’s awake and perceiving you again. With a small voice you speak, “They said they found you in the study.”
Spencer racks his brain for memories of before his fall, only able to remember bits and pieces. He remembers fighting with you and when you left. He remembers walking to the study. And he remembers reading…”Lynch! Did you get him? He’s still alive, you have to call Emily—“
“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay,” you shush. “We know he’s still alive, they’ve almost got him right now. It’s okay.”
That seems to make him visibly relax knowing the immediate stressor was almost resolved. Now there’s just the matter of the other elephant in the room.
“You’re here.”
Your eyes soften as your brows raise in shock, “Of course I’m here, Spence.”
He stares at you and takes in your features—your puffy cheeks and red eyes, the skin around your nails picked to death, your lip nearly split in half from the bites and bleeding. He needs to apologize again, he knows that. But the second he opens his mouth you cut him off.
“Penny, can you give us a minute please?”
She smiles and stands, “Sure hon, I’ll be right outside.”
Once she leaves you turn back to Spencer, “We don’t have to talk about all of that anymore, it’s okay. You’re hurt and that’s more important right now.”
He should have expected that you would do this, selflessly push your discomfort and feelings down because someone you cared about was hurting. It was one of the few things he didn’t like that you did, and he’s not going to let it go again.
“Angel, you can’t forgive me just because you thought I was going to die.” he says sadly.
You’re taken aback. “I—I know.”
He swallows, “I really want you to.”
Your eyes blur again, “I know.” Another pause. “I’m trying really hard.”
A gentle squeeze, “I know.”
“I…I still love you, Spence. I don’t think that will ever change, but I’m nervous if one day it won’t be enough…that I won’t be enough.” you trail off.
Again, he shouldn’t be surprised that’s what you’re thinking. He hasn’t done a very good job at convincing you yet. It still hurts knowing that you feel that way.
“Do you know what I thought about everyday when I was in Millburn?”
You shake your head as he continues, “I thought about how when you eat cupcakes you tear the bottom half and stick it on top to make a cupcake sandwich. When we’re watching Doctor Who and you’re singing along to the theme song with only syllables. How you let me eat the olives on your plate and I give you the pickles on mine.”
“Why would you be thinking about that?” you ask confused.
“Because I don’t think I would have survived if I didn’t.”
The lump forms in your throat, “But…you took me off the visiting list after the first time I came to see you.”
“I couldn’t let you keep seeing me like that, honey.” he strains, “The way they were looking at you, what they did to me. I had to protect you.”a
You swallow hard, a few tears falling down your face, “Th—That’s not fair, Spence. I understand why you did it, but then when all the other shit happened… I don’t know what I was supposed to believe. I couldn’t stop wondering if I ever was enough for you.”
Spencer can feel his heart splintering.
“You will always be enough, because it is always you. God, sweetheart it’s not even a question of how much, it just is. I see you in everything I do—you’re the tangled headphones we use to listen to music flying back on the jet. You’re the annotations I make when I read something that reminds me of you, or if I think you’d enjoy it. You’re the smell of bavarian kreme donuts from Dolores’ even though the chocolate sprinkle ones are far superior.”
His heart blooms hearing a soft giggle from you, an earnest smile forming on your face.
“You are entangled in the things that make me happy, and you make them too good to be true. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I meant it when I said I would spend all of time making it up to you. You are my Catalina comet, and I love you.”
You can’t help the sob that leaves you as you remember the memory.
“I’m cold Spence, are you sure we’ll be able to see it?”
He tugs you closer under his arm as he keeps trekking to find the perfect spot, a chaste kiss to your temple, “I promise it’ll be worth it. Come on, I think it's a good spot over there.”
You help Spencer set out the blanket on the ground and use the extra one to wrap around you both, huddling closer together as you wait for the celestial body to make its appearance.
“The first time they did the calculations they used old observational data that led to some incorrect results, and they thought the orbit was only four years.”
“They just got it wrong?”
“Not everyone gets it right on the first try, sweet girl.” he says softly, “But then they did the math again, made sure all the factors and numbers were correct. And you know what they found?”
You ponder for a moment, “Did they realize the orbit was longer?”
Spencer beams down at you, “My smart girl. That’s exactly what they found. So when they did the calculations again, they found out that the Catalina comet is even more special than anyone thought. It’s even more of a rare sighting to get to see it, once in a lifetime really.”
You hang onto his every word, captivated by the story, “Do people wish on comets?” you ask doe eyed.
His hand smooths your hair back, “They do, some say the rarer comets have extra special energy to aid their wishes.”
You look at him skeptically, “Do you really believe that?”
“Do you?”
You look back to the sky, “I think I do.”
Spencer doesn’t look away from you, “Then I do too.”
You giggle and lightly shove him, “Cheesy…” He smiles fondly and pulls you closer into his chest, his arms warming you up before you gasp, “Look!”
There across the night sky streaks the Catalina Comet in all her glory, Spencer watches the comet track through Ursa Major and before he can start telling you about why it goes that path, you’ve already clamped your eyes shut and squeezed his hand, silently gesturing for him to do the same.
He complies, obviously. You open your eyes again after making your wish, “Did you make yours?”
Spencer opens his eyes and admiringly looks at you, “Yeah, I did angel.”
He didn’t need to make any wishes.
“Spence…” you whine through sobs.
His hand comes up shakily to wipe the tears from your cheeks, “Didn’t mean to make you cry, honey.”
“Well, what did you expect by bringing that story up?” you laugh with fake anger.
“To be fair, you were already crying.” he chuckles.
You scoff, “Mean.” You look at his eyes, and really look at him and see nothing but love and adoration staring back at you. You take a deep breath, “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“I believe you.” his eyes soften, you continue, “I love you.”
He brings your hand up to his lips and gently kisses it, “I love you so much. I’m sorry again, sweet girl.”
You lean up to him on the bed and press a soft kiss to his lips, and Spencer can feel his wounds start to hurt less and less. “You should get some rest, I’ll be here when you wake up.”
You make yourself as comfy as you can whilst sat on the armchair, bent over to be able to rest your head next to Spencer. It feels okay for a bit, and then he tangles his hand in your hair gently moving back and forth and suddenly you’re satisfied with never moving ever again.
The quiet air between you both is enough to lull you to sleep, before a thought runs through your mind.
“You know something funny,” you mumble, “Pen told the receptionist I was your fiancée so they’d let me see you.”
And poor Spencer, in between his sleepy haze and the dull ache of pain from his injuries, only hears the word fiancée.
“You found the ring?” he sighs, “I thought I hid it well.”
You still under his hand.
“…There’s a ring?”
His eyes shoot open, realizing he misheard you and tries to play it off, “So…Penelope lied to staff. Tsk Tsk.”
“There’s a ring.” you say pointedly, the corners of your lips upturned to reach a smile.
Spencer thinks he can try and get out of this but decides it’s better to come clean, “Fine, okay. Of course there’s a ring.”
“Of course?”
The surprise on your face honestly stuns Spencer, and he feels a little saddened that you were in disbelief of the possibility.
“Yeah baby, of course.”
Your bottom lip wobbles with a creeping suspicion of his answer, “How long have you had it?”
“Got it after our six month.”
You shakily exhale. There is no ounce of doubt in your body that he loves you, and that you really are all he needs. “ ‘M sorry I ruined the surprise.”
He grins, “It’s okay, you won’t know when I’m going to do it. It’ll knock you off your feet, I promise.”
You definitely aren’t expecting it during a Planetarium date months later where he got the museum people to show the Catalina Comet passing over you both as he got down on one knee. You are expecting the endless stream of tears from the both of you, the aching cheeks from smiling too much, and the multiple missed attempts at sliding the ring on from how much you both were shaking.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fanfiction#the prophecy
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bleeding blue | apocalypse au
part twenty-one —other parts

pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader words: 3.5k tags: death. blood. cannibalism mention. zombies of course. AFAB reader. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn’t here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival. a/n: I'm sorry lmaooo nine months... hopefully we can finish this thing!
The last bed you laid in smelled like lemon mint detergent. It was the full bed in your sister's guest room. Everything was crisp and white. They rarely had guests besides you. Some of your clothes stayed in that closet, one of your toothbrushes stayed in the connected bathroom, waiting for your visits. You'd awaken that last morning not thinking you'd never sleep in bed for another five years. You left it unmade.
This bed smells like pine and warmth.
Ghost's room is small and dimly lit. The ceiling slants so that one end is not tall enough for him to fully stand. There's a dresser and a nightstand, leaving only a sliver of floorspace.
After the metal latch on the door clicks shut, Ghost lays the blanket down and grabs a pillow for himself. That leaves the bed to you. Springs creak beneath your weight as you silently slip under a heavy, rustic quilt. The years-embedded scent of him wraps around you like a drug-induced fog. You hesitate to move, frozen as he flicks off the light. You wonder if he always locks the door or did it for you, to make you feel safer.
Only when his moving about ceases do you allow yourself to get comfortable. You cocoon your body under the quilt and turn to your side, closing your eyes.
A thought reopens them minutes later. You roll onto your back and speak into the darkness. "Have you known about this Switzerland place?"
For a moment, you think he's already asleep. Then, from below the bed by your feet, he says, "Heard of it."
"That is what you guys talked about, isn't it?" you ask absentmindedly.
"Among other things."
You sit up so you can see him, but all that you can make out is a dark shadow. "Care to share?"
"Some things are on a need-to-know basis," is all he gives.
"And I don't need to know?"
"Precisely."
It stings; you don't know why. "Some team we make, huh? Or I guess we're only a team when you need me to do something for you."
You quickly realize how petulant you must sound. The shadow sits upright. "They asked me to go with them. I said no. Too far. Too many variables that are hard to predict, and she's not ready for them. Happy?"
Happy—no, but relief replaces the slight uncertainty in your gut since your conversation with Nereida. Joining them was shut down. You wouldn't tell her, but their idea sounds asinine, whether or not that commune exists. The trip will be risky at best, fatal at worst. You're tempted to ask him how many days he thinks they'll recoup here before continuing their journey, but opt for sleep instead. He seems done with the conversation, too, lying back down. Then, you have the best sleep you've had in years in his bed.
When the sun turns pink, you awaken to a room void of Ghost. He's gone. It should be expected, but you'd thought he might wake you up to train like normal. Though, the past twenty-four hours haven't been normal. You look around, the details of his room more visible now. On the nightstand, there is a stack of books and you scan the titled spines. Mostly classics. One Hemingway. All tattered and read frequently. Beside them lays a silver chain attached to a dog tag. You gently finger the engraved metal so as not to move it out of place: Simon Riley.
Snooping through his things is more tempting than you're willing to admit. You slip out of bed, socked feet padding over to the dresser. There are mostly papers. His map with the marked circle around what you now realize is Switzerland, a notepad with scribbled half-cursive on it, and then a faded photo beneath it. You freeze, breath hitching, as if you've done something dangerous just by stumbling upon it. Curiosity is thick in your chest, difficult to ignore. Gentle fingers reach to shift it out, revealing a picture that you know right away is of Blue and her mom. Blue is a baby. Maybe one year old. A woman with light brown hair holds her up, sitting on a bench in front of a playground. She's pretty and young. There is a sadness when you wonder if this is the only picture he has of them—before her death. Then, there is another feeling. You swallow it.
You quickly slip the photo back just the way you found it and leave the room. The living room is quiet, people still sleeping. Price and Kyle's blankets are empty, but Kyle is the only one you spot outside. He sits on a tree stump, using a knife and some soap to shave his beard. He looks at you the moment you step outside.
"Good morning." He splashes a scoop of water on his smoothed jaw.
You tuck your hands in your pockets. "Morning."
Without the facial hair, he looks even younger. Maybe in his early thirties. He pushes to his feet and you are reminded of his above-average height, though he is not as monstrous as Ghost. His form is lean, all muscle, with much less ink on his exposed skin. It is now you notice a scar across his jaw. Thick but faded. It trails halfway down his neck.
"Do you know where Ghost went?" you ask.
"Working on that truck of his. With Price."
A glance over your shoulder confirms it; you spot some movement behind the cabin where you know his truck sits. Guess that means no training. You nod. "So, um, you were in the military together, right?"
He takes a moment to look at you before answering. "Yeah. Same unit. Price was our captain."
"I kind of figured. He is... captain-y."
"'Captain-y.' Good way of putting it."
You're ready to turn away when he asks, "I hate to pry, but I admit I'm curious how you ended up here with him."
You force a smile. "It's not a very interesting story, sorry."
"I'm not looking for entertainment."
"What are you looking for, then?" You sound more defensive than you mean to.
He shrugs. "Just curious, is all. You're a bit young."
"I'm not fucking him if that's what you're getting at." His brows lift to his hairline, and you're almost embarrassed for assuming that is what he was thinking, but before he can speak you add, "And you're young, too. I can handle myself just as you can."
"Of course." He shakes his head, moving his hand over his chest in earnest. "I apologize if I insinuated otherwise. Though, I am older than you."
"How old?"
"Let's see. Thirty-one last November. Or maybe it's just thirty. Hard to keep track, innit?" His smile is more genuine than yours, flashing white teeth. Then, his face turns more serious and he sighs through his nose, head tilting. "Look, I understand."
"Understand what?"
"I don't know your story, but I'm sure it is a gruesome one, and you have every right to feel uncomfortable. We'll be out of your hair soon enough. I appreciate you having us, though."
You want to tell him it's not like you have a choice; you're not the host here. But he already knows that. He's trying to be nice. "Thank you," you tell him honestly.
Kyle bends to pick up his knife, wiping it off on his shirt. "So what did you need Ghost for?"
"Oh, nothing really."
"Care to accompany me for some breakfast, then?"
You consider saying no, but you need to hunt, anyway. Besides, you don't think he'd try anything in broad daylight. In another life, you may have looked at him with a more appreciative eye. But as you wade in silence through the woods, bow cinched to your back, you study him like an opponent. He's more agile than Ghost, likely quicker. When he crests the hill, it's hard to match his strides.
Small conversation picks up by the pond and you find yourself easing up. You learn he's from London, too.
"What part?"
"Islington. I shared an apartment with my girlfriend. The rent was shit but it was worth it. Top floor loft with a good view and this insane Turkish bakery just below us." His tone is so casual you forget where you are for a second, until he suddenly throws his knife. It pins a squirrel to one of the trees. He bends to dislodge it and carries the dead animal, blood on his fingers.
You keep walking. "What happened to her?"
"I had to make a choice. Go to London and find her, or go with Price and get my nephew, niece, and sister-in-law."
The understanding hits with the force of a fallen tree, and you pale.
He notices your expression and continues. "I don't regret my decision. I've come to terms with it. There was no chance of me finding her in London, not with how quickly the infection spread there and the phone lines went out. I didn't even know where to look for her. At work? Home? Up north, things weren't as bad yet. I got in contact with my sister-in-law, Ameena, and told her to meet us at the small college up there where Nereida worked."
You recall what Nereida said, about Ari's mom and sister dying, so you don't pry about them. "What about your brother? Ari's dad?"
"He died before shit happened. He was in the military, too. Different unit. Multiple gun wounds while in Afghanistan a few years back."
"I think your story is more gruesome than mine," you admit.
His lips twitch ruefully. "Not a competition. Gruesome world, gruesome stories."
A more comfortable quiet settles. He is not so different than you, you realize. Only difference is he still has his nephew to look after.
The sun is already high, enough to make a collar of sweat appear on your shirt. There is a small dirt ridge you have to climb and the effort reminds you of the still-healing bruises on your body. A skirt of movement catches your eye and this time, you act quick. You use your bow to kill a squirrel up on a branch. It falls to the ground.
"Damn." Kyle whistles, low and long, as you wriggle the arrow free. "Hell of an aim you got."
"I'm... alright."
"No need to be modest."
You straighten and wipe your bloodied hand on your shirt. The movement lifts it, and you hear him suck in a breath behind you. A hand touches your shoulder, gentle than firm, as he spins you around. You're confused, then follow his gaze to the sliver of exposed skin on your hip. It's a gross yellow.
"Twix." His voice lowers, and his friendly eyes are confused.
Shit. "It's not whatever you're thinking."
"I'm thinking someone has put their hands on you." He frowns and shifts closer. "I know you have no reason to tell me things, but I can tell you I am not okay with that shit, no matter who it is."
You inwardly cringe. "Ghost is not... hitting me. Well, he is—"
"Fucking hell—"
"No, no. I asked him to." The bewildered look on his face makes you palm your forehead. "Not like that. Jesus. We train together, okay?"
"Train together," he repeats, shoulders loosening.
"Yeah, like to help me get stronger." The embarrassment remains on your cheeks. "It's silly, really."
Kyle shakes his head and grins, clearly amused now that he knows you're not being abused against your will. "Not silly. Thought you two were into some kinky shit for a second there." He continues walking over a patch of dryer land, stepping onto a small rock and chuffing a breath under his nose. "Wouldn't have been surprised."
Your fingers absentmindedly tighten around the squirrel's limp neck. Your feet are frozen for a moment as you shake off a deep blush, then call out behind him. "Did you miss the part where I said I'm not fucking him!"
He simply laughs.
The rest of the day passes in languid warmth.
It's weird having so many people here, but you try to continue your day like usual, skinning the kill and washing your clothes. You learn more about Nereida as you eat together. You haven't had a female friend in... a long time. Save Blue. She used to be an arts professor at a private school. Sculpting, mainly. That is how she came to meet John Price, when he attended one of her galleries, buying a piece from her for far more than the listing price. He was just looking for a way to take me out to dinner. The way she speaks of him is that of a doting wife, despite everything they've been through. She tells you they were engaged before the infection. A makeshift ceremony at their old camp was the best they could do.
"No wedding ring, but we do both have this." She pulls up her sleeve to show you a small scar carved on her shoulder—a faint letter 'J'. Price has the 'N'.
You're not sure what Ghost needed to fix on his truck that morning, or why it was important to do it with Price, but when you returned with Kyle, something felt off. Ghost's tension was palpable. He usually seems in thought, but even more-so. When Ari takes Blue for a quick ride on the horse—apparently Cherry used to be owned by his parents on their family ranch in Newcastle—he watches for only a minute before disappearing somewhere with Price. You pretend to need something from the cabin. You sneak around the back way, finding them again by his truck, muttering in low voices. Only pieces reach your ears.
"...through the rural parts. Not a straight path..."
"...could take months..."
"Got quite a bit of those."
Then, he's showing Price something under the tuck bed's tarp where you catch sight of that kayak once again.
"Find it?"
A low voice in your ear. You startle and turn around.
"Huh?"
Kyle raises a brow. "You said you needed something."
Your hand flattens against the side of the cabin. "Right. Um, I just—"
Boots scuffle behind you. You don't need to turn to know Ghost and Price have detected your presence, making their way over. Kyle's gaze flicks to them and you feel like a child who's been caught by her parents—embarrassment laced over your irritation. You wouldn't have been eavesdropping if they weren't so secretive.
"Everything alright?" Price's timbre is calm. Your neck prickles where you feel Ghost's stare.
You find yourself nodding. "Yes. Just fine. Sorry."
It gets cooler by nightfall. Your knee bounces slightly under the table during dinner. You listen to Blue explain the rules of battleship to Ari. You don't eat much more of the meat you caught with Kyle. With a mostly empty stomach, you enter Ghost's room after everyone else has gone to bed. His broad form hovers over his dresser. For a moment, you fear he's somehow noticed that you looked at his things earlier. But then you realize his eyes are glued to the map, and he's penciling some things on the margins.
He looks up when you close the door behind you. His brows are deeply knotted.
"Figured you would be sleeping out there for tonight."
"What?"
"Seems like you feel just fine around them now."
He looks away from you as if you're not even there. He places the map down and opens the top drawer. Without warning, he pulls out a clean shirt and changes, revealing his bare chest. His shoulders flex as he slips it over his head by the collar. Then, he moves toward you, eyes dully expectant.
"Being asleep near them is different than hanging out during the day," you finally respond. Mouth feeling dry, you swallow. "What's going on? I can tell that you... you've been thinking about something."
"You mean you've been listening." His brow lifts. He shakes his head before you can defend yourself. "I am always thinking about something."
"Would it kill you to not be cryptic for once? I thought that we were..."
"That we were what?"
"Being honest with each other now."
A dark, slightly amused breath leaves his nose. He contemplates your words for a moment. "It is my plan to go there," he then says. "I'm not stupid. I know she needs more than what I can offer her here. It has always been my plan. Just not now."
"Because she's not ready," you breathe.
"Because she's not ready," he repeats, chin tilting. His eyes darken, veering to the left. "Price seems to disagree."
Your nails curl in your palms. "And?"
He looks back at you. "And I am thinking of your camp. What happened to you. I can't grow complacent."
The mention unsettles your stomach. Of course, he needn't elaborate, not when the memory is more fresh than you'd like. "But going to Switzerland would take days, weeks. And they have no idea what they might run into out there. It's not like we have inside info on the state of France and—and wherever the hell else we'd have to cross through to get there. They could be worse than London."
"I'm aware."
"So what, then? You're considering it now? I thought you told them no," your hushed voice edges a bit harsher, and the pulse in your neck quickens.
You hate what you think he's saying, even if you understand it. He has his daughter's future to think of. Even if he were to try finding some safe community when she's older, the opportunity of traveling with two other military-experienced men would be gone, along with whatever weapons and supplies they bring to the table.
The contemplation is vivid in his eyes as you study them. Ghost's head lowers, dipping down at the same time that he emits a harsh breath, and you realize how close the two of you have become in this quiet exchange, keeping your voices safe from any awakened ears. So close, in fact, that his exhalation hits the space between your neck and collarbones, where a small patch of skin tingles with alertness.
His voice emerges low and thoughtful after a drawn moment. "I haven't fully decided."
You nod with deep breath to steady yourself, taking in his answer. "Will you tell me when you do?"
"I can do that."
And that's all he offers—four words that give a minuscule amount of comfort, because now bitter uncertainty has snuck upon you once again. Your fate lays in his decision. You can't survive on your own, not even here, so if he leaves you have to go with him. The impending doom fogs your brain. You fail to notice his hand has moved, pinching the hem of your shirt between thumb and forefinger, and beginning to carefully lift it up. A breath hitches at the top of your throat and your eyes unfurl, only to find that he is pensively looking down at your exposed stomach.
"What the fuck are you—"
You're cut off when his bent knuckles gently brush over your mottled abdomen, sweeping down the sore midline, leaving you frozen. It's a thoughtful, slow touch—calloused skin against smooth softness. His thumb traces a particularly bad one by your hip, causing your muscles to flutter as a pleasant heat blossoms. For the second time today, your bruises are under scrutiny, and you curse yourself for not applying more of that paste on them.
"They're healing well," he murmurs, more to himself than to you, and lowers the shirt back down. He steps back. Eyes find yours. "Don't get too comfortable."
You blink dazedly, then stiffen. "Um, what?"
"Sleeping in my bed. My room isn't a hotel."
The change of topic gives you whiplash. "You're the one who made me sleep here," you remind him pointedly. "I'll just take the floor tonight, and you have the bed."
"You're a woman. Take it."
"As if you give a fuck about being a gentleman."
"You're right, I don't." A dismissive shoulder shrugs, then his back turns to you. He lays in the bed before you have the chance to even move, which leaves the blanket on the floor for you.
You should've just accepted the bed.
Once the room is shrouded in darkness, you bury your head in the pillow.
"Comfortable?" he says sarcastically above you.
"Fuck off."
Then it's silent. You don't sleep nearly as well.
#simon ghost riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost#cod#john soap mactavish#john price#kyle gaz garrick#zombie apocolypse au
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The 5 Times You Flirted With Bob + The 1 Time He Picked Up on It
Summary: You've fallen for your friend and have decided to drop some hints that you're flirting. Unfortunately, Bob doesn't realize that immediately.
Warnings: Language, no y/n, female reader, reader has a callsign (Honey)
Thank you to @dissonannce for this amazing idea. Thank you @acewritesfics for the dividers!
"Your hands are so big."
It took Bob a moment to register that you were in fact, talking to him.
"Oh! Um yeah. My ma made me do piano because she felt I was given the hands for them," Bob wiggled his fingers for extra effect, "Y'know, since they're so long."
Yes, they were quite long. It was one of the first things you noticed about Bob. Well, after you noticed his beautiful blue eyes, his endearing lopsided smile, the way he was so considerate of everyone else, so gentle, and yet there was an underlying confidence about him. He was sure of himself, but he didn't feel the need to brag.
Who could blame you for falling head over heels for him?
You flashed him a smile, hand reaching towards his.
"It's just, your hand is so much bigger than mine. See?" You propped his arm up, allowing your palm to press against his, both your fingers spread out to showcase the difference in size.
"See? My hand is so small compared to yours," You giggled. Bob looked down at your hands. Your breath hitched, your fingers twitching, dying to entwine with his.
"Yeah, there is quite a difference in size," Bob said, giving you that small smile you adored so much. That smile gave you the confidence to entwine your fingers with his.
"I think they fit pretty well together, see?" He wasn't letting go. He was still smiling as he looked down at your hand holding his.
Maybe this was finally it, he'd finally realized that you liked him and would-
"I'm gonna go get some more peanuts, can I get ya anything?"
You mustered up a smile, trying to cover up your disappointment, "I'll take a water. Thanks Robby."
As soon as he left, you shot Jake a dirty look, "Seresin, you said that shit would work!"
Jake, who had been pretending to play a game of pool with Bradley, Javy, and Mickey, put his hands up in defense, "Because it usually does! Everyone knows when a girl compares hand sizes it means she wants you!"
"Everyone but Bob apparently," Javy muttered.
"Maybe you just need to be more obvious?" Mickey suggested.
You sighed. You knew Bob. The last thing you wanted was to be so blunt it would overwhelm him. But at the same time, you two had been doing this whole 'friends but also more than that and I'm pretty sure we're flirting?' for the last month and you were getting annoyed with it how seemed to be going nowhere.
Perhaps Mickey was right. You were going to have to be a bit more obvious.

"Bee? You ready?" Bob called out from your living room. Bob's nickname of your callsign (Honey) always brought a smile to your face, as well as heat to your cheeks.
"Almost! Can I get your thoughts on this top?" You asked as you walked in.
"Yeah, I'm sure you look-oh." Bob's eyes widened as he took in the green top you were wearing.
It was tighter than the shirts you normally wore, highlighting your breasts. The fabric stopped right at the end of your rib cage, showing off your stomach and bringing attention to your high waisted jeans, which according to Jake "did wonders for your ass".
"What do you think?" You clasped your hands together, the action causing your breasts to stick out even further.
"Um the uh, the color is really great on you. B-brings out your eyes," Bob said, his eyes looking everywhere except you.
With the way his cheeks were bright red, it gave you confidence to step forward, your body now inches away from his, "I was hoping it would bring out something else besides my eyes Robby."
"I mean you you look great in everything you wear! So mission accomplished," Bob said quickly, his hands fidgeting with his car keys.
"Anything else you want to say about the outfit Robby? I really value your opinion." You stood on the tips of your toes, bringing your chest closer to Bob's face.
It was the first time since you walked in that his eyes landed on your chest. He cleared his throat, as if he was gathering up the courage to say it.
"You should grab a jacket, it's supposed to go down to the low sixties tonight," He said, turning around to head out the door.
God damn it.
You grabbed your phone, quickly texting the group.
Honey: We need to go to Plan C.
Rooster: Plan C?! You're saying the top didn't work?
Bagman: Dude, your tits were like out.
Rooster: Maybe they weren't out enough?
Coyote: If they were out any more, Honey would be getting a public indecency charge.
Phoenix: Maybe we shouldn't use clothes to express our feelings? Just a thought 🤦🏽
Fanboy: Yeah Nat, that's plan C.
Payback: Can we not blow up the group chat tonight? The finale of Insecure is on.

Your right leg bounced up and down in nervous anticipation, your eyes never leaving the entrance to the Hard Deck.
"You don't think this is too much, is it?" You asked your friends/coworkers.
"Nah, it'll be perfect!" Mickey reassured you.
"You and Bob are going to walk out of here holding hands by the end of the night, guarantee it," Jake commented as he lined up the balls for a round of pool.
It took all your strength not to jump out of your seat when you saw Bob walk in. His iridescent blue eyes scanned the room, landing on you. He always seemed to search for you, which had to be a sign that he wanted more, that he felt the same way as you did.
You greeted him with a smile, patting the empty seat next to him.
"Hey Robby! I got something for you!" You called out.
Bob just smiled as he sat down, "I see you got my signature: water and peanuts. Thanks Bee!"
You giggled, shaking your head, "Yes, but that's not just it. These are for you!"
Bob stared at the bouquet of flowers you were holding out for him.
"For me? These are for me?" He asked, eyes wide as saucers.
"Yes! I was just thinking, like why is giving guys flowers not a thing? Because it totally should be! And no one deserves these flowers more than you Robby," You explained, a hopeful smile adorning your face.
Bob gently took the bouquet, admiring each flower.
"I thought they would go well with your eyes-that's why a most of them are yellow," you explained, trying to hide how nervous you were.
"These are perfect," Bob said before leaning down to smell the flowers.
"Really? Each flower has a different meaning," you began, hoping that by fidgeting with your hands, you'd be able to conceal your nerves.
Bob simply smiled, his face the epitome of saccharine, "Oh, I already know."
Your breath hitched, "You do?"
Bob nodded, "Oh yeah! Alstroemerias symbolize support, sunflowers are for loyalty, and violets stand for intuition!"
He wasn't wrong. You couldn't tell if you were upset by that or the fact that Mickey forgot flowers can have more than one meaning.
Time for Plan D.

"Hey Robby! You ready to watch hot people make poor decisions?"
"Ready as I'll ever-that's new," Bob said softly, taking in the new loungewear you had on for your biweekly Love Island watch.
"Oh this? I think I got it last week," you said as you let Bob into your apartment, "It's super comfy and it has pockets!"
It also was cut low, showing off your cleavage, as well as the tops of your thigh.
"Yeah, the uh, color looks really good on you Bee," Bob commented. The compliment brought a smile to your face. He noticed you, noticed you were wearing something new, and seemed to be noticing your now exposed skin.
"Well, let's go see if these folks gain any common sense," you grabbed his hand, practically beaming at how your hand fit perfectly in his.
"Somehow I doubt it," Bob chuckled.
When he offered to hold the popcorn for while you two watched, you weren't disappointed. Sure, it meant you weren't able to hold his hand. But it did mean you could move closer to him, your thighs practically touching.
"I really hope he doesn't take her back," Bob muttered, his eyes glued to the screen.
"He will. They always do," you sighed, gently moving your head so it rested against one of his broad shoulders.
If your action had any effect on Bob, he didn't show it. Which was the problem.
"I would pick you in the recoupling," You revealed, hoping that would be enough, would finally be enough.
Bob smiled, placing a hand on your knee, "That's kind of you Bee. But I think friendship couples go against the nature of the show."
It took everything in you not to scream.
The rest of the night was just a typical Love Island watch night, no touching, no initiating, no declarations of love, and ending with Bob giving you a friendly hug goodbye.
With a sigh, you flopped onto your bed to check your messages.
Bagman: Bee, please tell us it worked and you're marking sweet love to baby on board
Phoenix: you're disgusting Seresin.
Rooster: why would they stop fucking just to text you Bagman?
Bagman: so we can pop some champagne to celebrate
Fanboy: Why the fuck is would we do that?
Coyote: It's a big event! Bee told Bob how she feels AND Bob's getting laid!
Payback: Can I just get one night of peace? Just one night?
You: No one's doing anything bc it didn't work!
Rooster: Not trying to be rude, but weren't you like almost naked?
Bagman: Like 52% nude.
Phoenix: JFC, we're going to plan E folks.
Coyote: Is that when we just lock them in a closet?
Bagman: No that's plan G

"Hey Bee!"
The cheerful, charming voice always brought a smile to your face.
"Hi Robby!" You greeted him with a hug, the comforting scent of rosemary filling your nostrils, "You smell really nice."
"Oh um thanks," A hand flew to the back of Bob's neck, a nervous (and also adorable) habit, "Wanted to smell nice after doing all those pushups out in the sun."
"Well it worked, you smell great," One of your hands reached up to the nape of his neck, toying with the hair that had curled at the end, "Look great too."
The tops of Bob's cheeks were now a dusty pink, "It's just a white Tshirt."
You took a step forward, placing your hands on his chest, "It's a good look Robby. Shows off your muscles. I like it on you.
Bob's lips parted, then promptly closed.
"Uh, t-thanks Bee." He had to know now that you were flirting with him. It was clear as day.
Feeling confident, your hands trailed down to his, grasping them, "We should dance!"
You didn't wait for Bob to answer, dragging him out to the middle of the floor. The sounds of Bradley covering Frankie Valli (begrudgingly, as apparently Jerry Lee Lewis was better) filled the bar.
After a few minutes, Bob's shoulders visibly relaxed, a smile spreading across his face. You threw your head back laughing as he bust out a goofy dance move.
Everyone thought Bob was shy, but that wasn't the case. He was observant, determined to get a good read on someone so he knew how to approach the situation accordingly. Once he was comfortable, his personality shined and he was a sweet, goofy man who you adored with all your heart.
The grin you had was so wide, your cheeks were beginning to hurt. But you couldn't stop, not when he was twirling you around.
"Where did you learn to dance like that?" You asked, having to say it into his ear so he could hear your voice above the music.
Bob shrugged, "I come from a big family. When you know you're going to a lot of weddings, knowing how to dance helps. That and my mom made me do cotillion."
"Well, all that practice paid off. You're a great dance partner Robby." You rested your chin against his broad chest, looking up to meet eyes bluer than the ocean.
In that moment, all you could do was focus on him. The way the corner of his eyes creased when he truly smiled, his comforting scent, his pink, thin lips that you were dying to feel on yours.
You wondered if he could hear your heart pounding, if he could feel it since your body was practically on his.
His hands found their way to your arms, gently placing themselves on your biceps. Was this it? It had to be.
So you stood on the tips of your toes, your lips now closer to his. Your eyes began to close as you leaned in to-
"I gotta go. Jake stuck his foot in his mouth again."
This wasn't a lie. But it still didn't dull your disappointment. Nor did it sedate your growing frustration at this whole situation.
Perhaps you didn't need Plan G or H Perhaps it was time to go with your original plan.

The next time you saw Bob was when Nat threw a small get together to celebrate the end of a long week.
He was wearing that damn white Tshirt again. Whenever he brought his cup of water to his mouth, the fabric stretched across his bicep.
Was he doing this on purpose? Did he know? Consciously or not, that you had fallen for him ever since you two first met at training?
Either way, you were tired of this game you had been playing for the past month.
"Are you sure about this?" Natasha asked.
You simply nodded before taking a shot of vodka. A little liquid courage was always nice.
"Nat, he's oblivious. Honestly, I don't know why we didn't do this the first time," Jake commented as he took the shot glass out of your hand.
"Because we didn't expect him to be that oblivious," Mickey countered.
"Well everyone, wish me luck." You walked out of the kitchen to find Bob still sitting on the couch, glass of water in hand.
His eyes met yours and he gave you a smile sweeter than honey. Your legs began to wobble, whether it was from that smile or your nerves, you couldn't say.
You walked over, making a beeline for him. Bob's eyes widened, his fingers gripping his cup. Your gaze was so intense.
"Hey Bee-oh!" Bob froze as you sat down in his lap, your thighs straddling his lithe hips.
"Hey Robby," your hands found his shoulders, fingers toying with the thin cotton fabric of his shirt.
"Uh Bee, there's um, there's a seat right there," Bob weakly pointed to the empty space next to him.
"I don't want that," you leaned forward, your forehead grazing his, "I want you Robby."
His eyes widened once more, as if he just saw an incoming train, "M-me?"
"Yes. Wanted you ever since that first day of training, when you offered me a mint," you told him.
"I uh, you looked sleepy and mint is known to wake you up and," Bob paused, "Did you say since the first day of training?"
You nodded, smiling at how you were able to see him process this information.
"The first day of training?" He repeated.
"Yes Bob, all you did was offer me a mint and smile to make me fall head over heels for ya," your fingers now went up to the back of his neck, twirling the curled ends of his hair, "Been trying to tell you that for the last month."
Bob opened his mouth, then promptly closed it, his brain still processing everything.
"You good Rob-" You never got to finish your sentence, as Bob decided right then was the best time to press his lips against yours.
His lips were soft and tasted faintly of vanilla, no doubt from the chapstick you watched him reapply. His touch was gentle, his thick fingers ghosting over your thighs, trailing up to your waist. Every move, no matter how small, made your heart fluttered.
Being so close to him, you could smell his aftershave, a mix of eucalyptus and sage. It was intoxicating and you wanted to be surrounded by it all the time, wanted to kiss him all the time.
When he broke away for air, you had to hold back a whimper, your lips desperate for more.
"FINALLY!"
You turned your head to find Bradley, along with Mickey, Natasha, Jake, Javy, and Reuben standing by the doorframe, in perfect view of you and Bob.
You smiled and opened your mouth, ready to make a quick remark. But Bob's fingers hooked underneath your chin, turning your head back to meet his lips again.
Unlike the first kiss, this one was bolder. His lips moved against yours with more confidence. Your whole body felt warm, as if you were floating. His hands now cupped your jawline, which is how you learned that Bob's hands practically covered your whole neck, a discovery that sent you reeling.
Your hands trailed up to his head, desperate to feel his sun kissed locks, desperate to find out if they were as soft as they looked. But just before you could, Bob broke away.
"What?" Anxiety came rushing back, dragging you away from Cloud Nine, your previous location. Did he regret it?
"Let's go."
He moved your body to the empty space on the couch, quickly getting up. You took his hands, allowing him to help you get up. You held onto one hand as he led you to the front door.
"Bob! What are you doing with my backseater?" Javy called out.
"Making up for lost time!"
Maybe you should be a little embarrassed. But how could you? You had finally kissed the man of your dreams, he kissed you back. He wanted to leave with you.
The sounds of the house party fainted, becoming soft background noise as you went outside.
Bob stopped, turning around to face you. Before you could get out a sound, his lips were on you again. His hands pulled your body to his, closing the gap in-between.
You couldn't help but moan when you felt his tongue slide against your bottom lip, immediately granting him entrance. You could hear Bob's breath hitch, his hands roaming across your body, touching your soft skin.
Abruptly, he pulled away, leaving you desperate for more.
"Why do you keep doing that?!"
"I...." His face was flushed, "I meant to ask you if if you drove yourself here. But you looked so kissable. You still do, God I just wanna kiss you again."
"I'm not stopping you Robby," you grinned, stepping towards him, "I'm not stopping you at all."
"Oh don't tell me that darlin'" his Midwestern upbringing laced his words. You always loved his accent, having found it not just unique but also comforting.
Somehow, despite his lips pressed against yours, Bob was able to walk you back to his car, your back meeting the cool metal.
His broad body draped over yours, his tongue frantically exploring your mouth. Your fingers reached up, grasping his hair. It was soft and much thicker than you expected.
What else was there about Bob you had yet to learn? What kind of toothpaste he used, if he drank tea or coffee in the morning. Did he fall asleep to rain sounds or silence? How many pillows were on his bed?
You wanted to know everything.
But right now, you just wanted to kiss Bob.
Your fingers tugged on his hair in an attempt to pull him closer to you. Despite his chest being pressed against yours, it wasn't enough. You wanted all of him.
"We should get in the car," He said, voice breathless. With the way his chest was rising, one would think he had just ran ten miles.
Bob began moving towards the driver's side of his truck, but he stopped, turning back to you.
"I want to take you home," He stated. It sounded like a confession with the way guilt laced his eyes.
"I would love that Robby."
Instead, he just shook his head, "But I shouldn't because you deserve more than that. You deserve a nice date, like that Italian restaurant we always pass when we go to Bradley's. You deserve that and flowers and a lovely dinner with candles and wine that's older than both of us-"
You cut him off by gently pecking his lips, "It's okay Bob. You could take me to that diner up the room from your place tomorrow morning and I'd be elated because I would be with you."
He shook his head, clearly torn between continuing to talk and continuing to kiss you, "But....it's the least I should do. I mean, after all the hints you were dropping. I thought you were just being friendly and-"
"What friend asks another friend to look at their chest?" You asked incredulously.
"I thought maybe we were just really close! That you were really comfortable around me, which is why I didn't think anything regarding what you wore when we watched Love Island. I mean," his face reddened, "I did think about it. Um I thought about it a lot and if you ever want to wear it again, I would not mind-"
"Bob," you stepped forward, placing your hands on his chest.
"I mean, you got me Violets! Those mean loyalty and devotion, as well as delicate love! And believe me I wanted to kiss you at the Hard Deck, but that is entirely Jake's fault-"
"As most things are."
"And looking back it was so obvious and I can't believe I didn't pick up on it," He paused, "Sorry, I I had to get that out. I can take you home or back to my place, whatever you want."
You giggled, delighted by his ramblings. You wanted to hear more of it.
"And now I just want to kiss you. Like all the time," He confessed, his lips moving closer to yours.
"Robby, get in the car," you instructed.
"Oh, um, okay," Bob unlocked his car, moving towards the driver seat.
"No Bob. Get in the back of the car," you instructed.
Bob's brows knitted together in confusion, "But then how will I drive-oh!"
Who knows if you were going to make it back to his place or yours. All you cared about was getting your lips and hands back on Bob Floyd.
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