#freeze response

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

ADHD & Freeze Response

Future ADHD

[unwelcome-ozian]

[moonlit-positivity]

What Does PTSD Hypervigilance Look Like?

Tw: activating language, body triggers, nervous system dysregulation, & fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses listed below. Please read with care.

Constantly checking outside by slightly peeking out the hole in the blinds so no one knows youre looking out the window

Listening & memorizing footstep patterns of those who live with you

Memorizing schedules & when people leave the house to know when you can move through the house alone

Tip-toeing or walking in a certain way to make your steps have less noise

Holding your breath or controlling your breathing to make as little noise as possible

Being extra aware of how everything is laid out on the table, where every single item in the pantry, fridge, etc is so when you take something you can put it back undisturbed

Eating food or taking things out of the fridge in a way that makes it seem like you never took anything out

Being constantly aware of how loud your own body is (ie chewing too loud, breathing too loud, walking too loud, not laughing, not crying, mastering the art of being silent)

Making sure the TV was on the same channel/app it was before you turned it on (this one's for us older gens, before we had these smart TVs there was a time when analog TV left a trail of previously watched channels so you'd have to wipe the remote clean before you got caught)

Erasing texts

Having people stored in your phone under false contacts bc your parents/abusers/etc would search your phone

Not able to keep personal photos on your phone for same reasons

Not being able to keep things in your room bc your parents would search your room

Not being able to keep things hidden in your backpack either for the same reasons

Keeping everything hidden at school or asking someone else's to keep them

Not able to keep a diary or journal bc someone would read it even if you asked them not to they wouldn't care and read it anyway

Not having a door on your room or having the door removed

Being told you have no privacy because you "belong" to them

Erasing your tracks with everything you do

Listening for car noises, car door slams, and memorizing the way the engine sounds so you can instantly hear when people get home

Memorizing car sounds or always looking out the window to see if someone has pulled up

Checking every house window in your field of view every second of the day

Constantly watching the front door even though it's closed and locked

Constantly watching your room door

Not being comfortable with things out of your line of sight

Constantly having the TV silent or low volume so you don't make too much noise & also so you can hear better

Memorizing daily life schedules, like when your housemates eat, use the bathroom, get up & walk around so you can be constantly aware of everyone at all times

Not making direct eye contact out of fear that it will spark a conflict

Being constantly aware of tone of voice, inflection, etc in case they're going to verbally abuse or degrade you or humiliate you

Being hyper aware of someone entering your personal space

Flinching

Flinching when someone walks by you

Flinching when someone reaches over you

Flinching when anticipating to get hit

Freezing & paralysis anytime something goes off pattern

Never being able to tell tone over text/ always needing to clarify if someone is mad at you

Not being able to physically get up and walk around the house unless you know you're in a safe position to do so

Not being able to physically get up to use the bathroom unless you're in a position to know it's safe to move around the house undetected

Waiting until everyone goes to bed in order to move around the house or relax

Holding your breath & tensing your muscles

Dissociation & brain fogs

Agoraphobia

Fear of being perceived

Fear of being abandoned

Fear of being seen

Fear of being judged

Fear of being hit

Fear of being alive

Fear of failing

Fear of being alone

Fear of not being good enough

Fawning

Grovelling

People pleasing

Staying silent because it will be less likely to cause a conflict

Hiding your emotions & masking

[avoidantrecovery]

cptsd freeze response ≈ avoidant pd?

this is just something i have been thinking about lately, because i'm stuck in a slump and no matter what i do, i can't figure out a way to get out. (as per usual: this is just my own speculation/theories, not medical advice or anything)

signs of being stuck in a freeze response: ☀︎ dissociation & detachment ☀︎ numb & apathetic ☀︎ hiding & camouflaging/masking ☀︎ isolation & seclusion ☀︎ brain fog & spaced out ☀︎ achievement-phobic ☀︎ disconnection ☀︎ shallow breath ☀︎ tenseness & fatigue (source: pete walker: cptsd from surviving to thriving, @chantelleenelson on insta, my own observations)

being stuck in a chronic freeze response is quite similar to the signs of avpd, if you ask me. there is a lot of overlap in terms of behaviour. and i have felt like this, like the above, for a very long time. however, i do remember a time when it wasn't like this.

i've already posted about my bullying/peer abuse experience that nearly lead to my drowning. and while other stuff happened later on, this was the source of my getting stuck in freeze. everything that came after, was also linked to being stuck in this chronic freeze state. i viscerally (in my body) remember the before and after. it is said freeze is what happens when you cannot fight or flee.

chronic freeze also hides a lot beneath it, kinda like a frozen surface with a lot still trapped/going on underneath. that is where the tense feelings/muscle aches come from. essentially it's like kinetic energy, the emotions and feelings that usually result in fight or flight are still being held down. you're holding you're breath, but you will have to breathe sooner or later.

i noticed other things i do in chronic freeze (which strangely enough are all related to dopamine): ☀︎ maladaptive daydreaming ☀︎ doom scrolling & internet addiction ☀︎ catastrophizing & worrying ☀︎ gaming (not as much as i used to) my theory here is that we all need to get our dopamine from somewhere. and when you're not socializing and doing other such activities, these will have to do.

there is a lot that goes into coming out of chronic freeze. it's a response that (imo) has the capability to freeze time in a way. you still go on existing, but on the inside you're stuck in time. and being ready to feel the potential avalanche of feelings, emotions, fears, panic, anything really that might come down on you at once, is important.

creating a base for coming out of freeze: ☀︎ environmental safety: in the best case scenario, is being away from the thing/person causing the trauma response. but, even if you are not able to, environmental safety can be being able to get away once a week and grab tea with a friend or going for a walk somewhere you can relax and feel safe. ☀︎ bodily safety: figuring a part of the body that feels safe and non-tense/non-painful to touch, and massaging/feeling it. it could be a thumb or ones ears. it doesn't mean everything is perfect or safe yet, but it opens up a possibility for thaw. ☀︎ feel your feelings: being ready/able to sit with and process the feelings that will re-surface once "the ice" has thawed. (source: irene lyon - how to come out of a chronic freeze response) i'm still coming up with a list of actual specific activities that i will try to see if they help me out of freeze. there are a lot of recommendations but some sound bogus, tbh, but we'll see. i'll post them here as soon as i know/try more.

[yourhealingjournal]

*guides will include also how to maintain the burst of momentum after getting out of freeze (like: supporting yourself when you have no support system, modelling compassion for yourself, moving away from self-sabotage, how to wade through the lows of recovery period)

ps. if anyone is interested, i might start a taglist? lmk!

[the-healing-mindset]

I cannot believe just how real this is. After having gone through a rough childhood, loneliness in childhood, an uncaring and toxic university environment, unstable relationships, and a terrorizing environment in my country, I find myself able to stay indoors and isolated to myself for days. I find that I no longer have much desire to get out and explore new places like I once did because I feel like people will be there to ultimately cause problems.

I have unfortunately developed a mindset that people are only there to be hostile and to escalate situations to levels that they don't have any reason going to. Therefore, I find myself going to work and going directly home. I have most of my things delivered to me or ordered for curbside pickup to minimize contact with others. This happened to me so suddenly that I didn't even see it coming. Sure, I always have been introverted, but I never acted like this.

Source: CPTSD Foundation

[traumatizeddfox]

me the moment something shitty happens : i’m not even bothered doesn’t even affect me

me 6 months later: actually-

[thefisherqueen]

I dare say it was twenty seconds or so that I lay paralyzed and watched the face. Then it vanished, but I could not—I could not spring out of bed and look out after it. I lay cold and shivering till morning.

I love this depiction of the freeze response to fear. It's generally underrepresented in fiction, I think because heroic/emotional reactions are a bit easier to write, but that reaction is actually so common. Anyone who has ever been in that situation knows how much it sucks when you desperately want to do something but just can't get yourself to move. You feel so helpless. Victims of abuse are often blamed for their lack of action in the moment (also by themselves) while it's in fact just your brain survival's instincts kicking in and taking over to try and keep you alive

I've always been fascinated with human reactions to fear, so I did a good bit of reading about it. Panic is basically the brain perceiving threat and not knowing how to elimenate it, so it shuts down the higher functions and retorts to base functions like attacking, fleeing or pretending to be dead. You literally lose IQ in these situations. The likelihood for panic to occur differs from person to person, but generally, the only way to avoid this reaction is to have an automatic response that is stronger than the survival response, which is only possibly after A LOT of experience and training. Those routines then take over for you, without even having to think about it. This is why in high-calamity occupations like paramedics, rescue divers and firefighters, there's such a insistence on trained protocol. Even then there aren't guaranties that panic won't happen

[selectivechaos]

social anxiety is so so far from shyness, i don’t know how people try and say they’re the same. they say “oh you’re just a bit shy. you’ll get over it” all the time. 

social anxiety can be debilitating. that’s why it can be a disorder. but some people dismiss it as mild or ‘no excuse’. 

so here’s all the ways my social anxiety can Feel:

little or no breathing

shaking

feeling trapped or boxed-in

Dread

tunnel vision

heavy dissociation

very aware of body (movements, sounds)

terrified to make sound, move weird, look up from floor

feeling frozen and stiff

and here’s what people See:

“the most-laid back person i’ve ever met”

“very calm”

“thoughtful” (skdgdajajsh)

“man of few words”

“silently judgemental”

“above it all”

they see me as some peaceful guru. somehow, frozen in fear, blank facial expression, very dissociated, all translate to ‘calm’ in their heads. this is not because it’s ‘invisible’; they definitely see i’m acting differently. but they don’t know it’s anxiety. their idea of anxiety is a panic attack and hyperventilation, but ignore that anxiety can involve hypoventilation (link is to a site with a largely comprehensive list of anxiety symptoms). 🌹🌹

[blackheartsinertia]

selective mutism + freeze response = you are having the worst time of your life

[unwelcome-ozian]

[moonlit-positivity]

"It's the last thing we think to do, but welcoming our feelings in, even for a few moments, allows them to shift.

The majority of our feelings, our gut instincts, our intuitions are calling out to be heard. This practice is a way to offer that.

Carl Jung's language relates here, "what you resist, persists." And so this practice in essence is a way to challenge yourself to drop the resistance. To go against the grain of what you've been taught, and to be a compassionate witness to your nervous system in a new way. Because when you do, these feelings will not persist in the same way they did before."

[Nick Werber]

[melblogsgfreethruptsd]

[anxietyfrappuccino]

imagine choosing to be absurd on purpose, and not like in an innate that is just who i am way, i mean, ppl who make the decision to do something weird because they had the option and took it, basically imagine being able to make decisions and follow through with them no matter how weird or bizarre they are because for some reason i cannot do that, and those ppl can choose to be normal too, it's a tangible option, that's wild

[mischiefmanifold]

I have all the trauma responses and they’re fighting each other for the remote control