#and you don't need to tolerate something that hurts just because it's not ''that bad''

[trauma-culture-is]

Trauma Culture is still stomaching abuse and more trauma bc I don't have it that bad and others have it so much worse than me so I can just stomach this

❤‎

[magicalmanhattanproject]

Okay, so with Quackity Studios tweeting about adding new people and the need for tolerance and patience with people who don't speak English, let's just take a second and have a chat about what that's gonna look like.

First: you will hear things or read things on the translator that hurt or offend you.

This is inevitable. Do not immediately post about it. What you need tolerance for is hearing things that hurt or offend you and what you need patience for is figuring out of malicious intent was present or if this is a hill worth dying on right now.

As an example, we're pretty sure at this point that Korean is gonna be the next language added. The second person pronoun in Korean sounds a lot like the n-word in English. The n-word in English, if you're not aware, is like the single most offensive slur we have. It's not something that you want to hear unexpectedly. But also, if we get Koreans, they're gonna be using the word for "you" and English speakers are gonna have to be able to tolerate that.

On the other side of things, Korean has a complex system of honorifics and addressing someone without an honorific would be considered very forward and intimate at least if not very rude. None of the QSMP languages have honorifics though and only French really retains formality* so no one else is going to address them with honorifics unless they specifically explain it to people and walk them through it. That will probably be weird and uncomfortable for them and they're going to have to be able to tolerate that.

*Spanish and Portuguese do technically have formal vs informal but it's disappearing quickly in both of them.

These natural cultural clashes and pain points are going to be harder to overcome since we also know that at least some of these creators won't speak English at all so they can't just switch to English to helpfully explain things to us easily in a way we understand. We're going to have to deal.

So here's the thing: just because there can be cultural miscommunications and mistranslations, that doesn't mean that people can't also be assholes. How do you distinguish between the two?

Step One: Assume good faith. Assume that everyone in a given encounter is trying to communicate respectfully and compassionately and that a failure to do so can be overcome

Step Two: Don't get involved. Especially not in Twitch Chat. Two or more people trying to communicate through a language barrier does not get easier when they're also trying to wrangle hostile viewers.

Step Three: Are you sure you heard what you thought you heard or saw what you thought you saw? Did the translator fuck up? Is it a word that just coincidentally happens to sound like another word? If this is the case, the streamers can ask for clarification or use another tool and get it cleared up. Keep watching and see if they do.

Step Four: If they did say what you thought they said, are the streamers handling it? We had a thing a while back where Bad called some friends, including Bagi and Etoiles, uncultured because they didn't get a reference he was making and Etoiles was like "bro I'm French" and Bad apologized. That should have been the end of it, but I had to see people arguing about it for weeks. The problem was solved in 10 seconds.

Step Five: If the person is doubling down, are you sure this is something you can fix by yelling about it on Twitter or Tumblr? Would it be better to let people who actually know them talk to them behind the scenes? Pierre made a few missteps in the beginning of the server, Quackity said they had a chat, Pierre hasn't misstepped since. It's just easier to sort things out in private, one on one conversation than yelling at someone in public.

In short: it's fine to take note of behavior in case patterns start to emerge in it, but yelling on social media about how so and so is the worst person possible is not constructive.

[doberbutts]

Curious about something you mentioned in your post last week, you said that in your opinion all drugs should be legal and I’m curious about how that would be a positive at all? Like I get weed bc it’s pretty harmless but when I think of drugs I think of cocaine and heroin, which have destroyed so many lives. If it was widely available wouldn’t that end up hurting more people than helping? That’s just my opinion but I’m curious on the other side

I do think all drugs should be legal. This is said knowing that addiction runs in my family and that the only reason my older sister is my *sister* is due to drug use and addiction. Otherwise she'd be my cousin.

Making drugs illegal does not stop people from getting high. It does not stop drug related crime. And it certainly does not stop drugs from tearing families apart.

Addiction is a symptom of a larger problem. Solve the problem and the addict problem goes away. Solve the addict problem and drugs stop ruining lives and destroying families and creating massive amounts of drug related violence. Places that have roled out decriminalization strategies effectively have seen an overall reduction in crime rates across the board, a reduction in recreational drug use, and a reduction in bloodborne illness like HIV. Creating safe needle exchanges as well as safe places to get high with medical staff onhand has also created a locale where very few people die from overdose.

Most people hear "decriminalize all drugs" and think I mean a free-for-all. I don't. I think the drug market should be regulated. I don't think you should be able to get ketamine or heroin over the counter at a walmart like you can get asprin. But I think it's time to stop putting people in jail for getting high.

My aunt tore her life and her family and her health apart for years while she was addicted to heroin. My sister, her daughter, needed to be removed from her care due to the amazingly bad choices she made as a mother due to her addiction and her prioritizing drugs over the health and safety of her daughter. My aunt has had multiple heart attacks from the damage the constant drug use did to her body.

My aunt is more than a decade sober and do you know why? It's not because she got a wakeup call when her daughter was taken away, because at the time she willingly and freely signed her over to my parents because that got her "out of [her] hair". It's not because she had a heart attack, because she went right back to it the moment she was out of the hospital. It's not even because she spent time in rehab and prison, because the moment she was out she was using again.

No, my aunt got sober because her life changed. She was put on a better pain management plan. She got out of her shitty marriage to her shitty husband. She completed some education to make her more hireable so she didn't have to rely on less than safe means of paying her bills. She reconnected with my sister and reforged their relationship once she was 18. She bought her own house. She found love with someone who didn't give a shit about her past and brought out the best in her.

My aunt was a deeply unhappy person. Heroin made life more tolerable for her. Until she couldn't tolerate life without it. Until she'd do anything, anything, to get her next high.

A lot of addicts are addicts because they are self-medicating for something else and their drug of choice has chemical properties that makes their brains crave it more. If you fix the "deeply unhappy" part, you create a healthier environment for that addict to take control over their life again. Without it, they are far more likely to continue to relapse.

Knowing this, why would I then want to add the threat of prison and jailtime- life-ruining things themselves- to an addict's list of concerns?

Look up rat park sometime. In the rat paradise, drugged water was freely offered, and occasional a rat here or there would take a hit or two, but rarely enough to even get high and almost never habitually. Addiction literally didn't exist even though the rats were taking addictive substances. But the rats in cages, seperated from each other, with no enrichment, crammed into small spaces and stressed to hell? Those rats took hit after hit after hit until they overdosed and died. The addict rats were deeply unhappy. The drugs were their only escape. The paradise rats had to be lured in with sweetened drugs to even consider and even then they rejected them. The caged rats did not need sweetner, even though the drugs made the water bitter.

If we can see such a stark difference in rats having their needs met vs rats experiencing isolation and stress, what would happen if we showed human addicts the same consideration?

I think a lot better results than continuing to jail deeply unhappy and desperate people for doing the only thing they can think of to cope.

[patronsaintofelsewhere]

Thoughts on Angel Crowley & Healing from Trauma

(Minor Good Omens S2 Spoilers)

As someone who’s endured my own Trauma and dealt with the resulting PTSD, watching Crowley’s journey from a joyful, silly, and entirely innocent angel to a withdrawn, lonely, hyper-vigilant demon as a result of the Fall both shattered my heart and confronted me with the fact of myself, and I’d like to talk about it. 

When you* experience Trauma, you experience an existential disorientation and a profound sense of grief over the world you thought you knew–one where you were safe and nothing bad had ever happened to you. “Innocence died screaming,” and all that.

You're also therefore mourning the loss of who you were, and struggling to make sense of who you are now. Which is why this conversation is so gut-wrenching:

“I know you.” “You do not know me.” “I knew the angel you were.” “The angel you knew is not me.” 

This dialogue admittedly still makes my eyes swim. It’s reminiscent of the many conversations I’ve had with people close to me who knew me Before and After. Not only are you grieving the loss of your own innocence, so are those around you, and it feels like you’re wearing their loved one’s face like a mask.

And then underneath the grief, there’s a river of–what you’ll later discover is misplaced–guilt. They want you to be who you were. Fuck, you also want to be who you were -- to not have experienced what you did -- but you can’t.

And when they catch a glimpse of something that reminds them of Before-You -- because it's not like that you has just up and vanished, you've just changed -- they say things like, “I feel like I have you back!” Like the After-You is a consolation prize, something to be tolerated while they wait for the Before-You to return.

It’s not malicious. They love you. They want you to be happy. But it just serves as a reminder of your loss and suddenly you’re acutely aware of how alone you are with the Thing that hurt you.

After trauma, you’re lonely and you're afraid. But those emotions make you feel quite naked, because both of those things would require you to depend on other people to feel better and, at this point, the thought of doing that is far too scary, so to the world, you’re angry. Thus begins the cyclical self-fulfilling prophecy.

And that cycle goes a bit like this: People see the mistrust and the bitterness and the volatility (the shield that keeps people at an arm's length and helps you feel safe). They don't see the profound sustained fear underneath, the desperate need to feel seen and accepted. And so people pull away.

And that real or perceived abandonment feeds the monster that’s taken up permanent residence in your ribcage and screams at all hours that you’re not worthy of love, that you’re irreparably broken, and you’ll always be alone. And you pull away from the people that love you. And the cycle repeats. And you start to believe all of the bad things about yourself that the monster tells you.

Being confronted with a character who you adore and who you also relate to closely is bittersweet in that it’s both immensely painful, but also offers you an opportunity to interrupt that cycle, to explore a different -- perhaps more forgiving -- lens through which to view yourself. To practice self-compassion by proxy, if you will. After all, we tend to extend far greater empathy and forgiveness to others than we do to ourselves.

Angel Crowley, "who squeaked and squealed when he was happy; who flailed his arms around and made explosion noises with his mouth to explain nebulas; who preened when told his stars were pretty,” (joycrispy) reminded me a lot of “Angel T,” or rather myself before Trauma.

And Crowley's story is tragic. I was heartbroken and angry for him; I felt the depth of the betrayal he experienced at the hands of someone he loved who he'd believed loved him; I found myself wanting to protect him, to comfort him. Crowley did not deserve what happened to him.

And, over a decade later, I realized that I’d finally accepted that I’d been an innocent, just like Crowley had, and I didn't deserve what happened to me, either.

And -- if you find yourself relating to this post -- neither did you.

Once we can tell ourselves that and actually believe it, we can start to lower the shield. We can allow people closer, including ourselves. We can bring the parts of ourselves we may have hidden away back to the surface. We can soften again. We can truly start to heal.

Crowley, at his core, remains the same. He is still kind, deeply loving, playful, silly, and – against all odds – hopeful. But his trauma has changed him; his innocence is gone.

He struggles to trust others; fears abandonment; engages in unhealthy coping mechanisms; finds it easier to prioritize and tend to Aziraphale's needs and desires than his own; and has difficulty expressing his emotions.

But he also gained an abundance of empathy, a deep love for humanity, and a strong sense of justice.

We adore Crowley exactly as he is now; we don't wish for him to be who he was before the Fall. And neither does Aziraphale.

In kind, we won’t be who we were — nor should we try to be — but we can be something new, a different version of ourselves that is equally good, equally worthy, and equally deserving of love. 

After over a decade, I think my Trauma wound has mostly healed, as much as Trauma wounds can, anyway; it’s a dull ache rather than an acute pain. Yet Crowley's story assuaged that remaining hurt like a salve I hadn’t realized I needed.

So thank you to @neil-gaiman for giving us such a beautiful story, and to David Tennant, Michael Sheen, and the rest of the cast and crew who bring the characters we love to life on screen.

Good Omens truly is a gift. May it continue to inspire us to offer kindness and love to ourselves and one another. 🖤

* I am aware that I say “you” when I should use the singular first-person “I,” but I still struggle with this when talking about my own trauma. So I’m using “you” and you, reader, will deal with it x

[nabitsun]

SPINE BREAKER

fem! reader x nerdy! choso

᭝ synopsis : who knew you just needed good dick from a nerdy boy to lose that attitude.

᭝ tags: smut & little angst? uni (both in their 20s), reader is kind of a minx but you'll pick that up.. (well, all reader's friends are), oral sex (f), pussyjob, unprotected (pull out game 10/10), uhh sweet choso duh <3

᭝ wc: 11.5k ...

᭝ notes: t'was supposed to be a one-scene typa oneshot but got carried away - blame it on nerdy! choso. (i remixed that shit 4 times)

"shoko.."

"what is it?"

"no need to put these under my nose i've told you, i'm not coming." you slap her hand away gently, she's holding two entries for a random party in town.

"oh but you will." she smiles.

you know you will, you always do.

"c'mon i have two entries? i can't waste them."

"exactly, ask yuki to come with you."

"she also bought two entries, she's already coming with someone else."

you give her a quizzical look,

"i don't know any better, she didn't say."

"she's probably inviting aoi over again, God.. another reason to not come.." you shake your head at the sole thought of the man.

"who's that?" she says, switching up outfits in front of her as she ponders in front of the mirror.

"y'know that meathead eccentric guy who's like, super fan of her,"

"ohh, that one.." she hums in thoughts "mh, i doubt it though. the last time he was here, he didn't leave with that same smug face. if he keeps getting into trouble the way he does, I doubt she'll invite him back."

she's referring to the last time yuki invited aoi to one of these parties, not to sugarcoat anything but he definitely learnt the hard way to not be an arrogant show off.

"i hope not." you mumble

"stop trying to find excuses. you're coming with me, we're gonna have a good time, end of story."

you let out a crude laugh, "let me rephrase. you're gonna have a good time, and i am gonna get bored out of my mind." you can see her roll her eyes, "i don't even see the point of going there."

"because you don't try to have fun."

"if trying to have fun implies rubbing myself on some smelly drunk strangers with shitty ass songs in the background, then yeah i'd rather not try."

"you're no fun, it's not that bad."

"it's not that bad until you reach your fifth drink" you quick back as you cross your arms over your chest as if to withdraw from this endless battle that you know, will defeat you.

"aren't you being a little dramatic, now?" shoko barely looks at you with raised eyebrows. she knows as well as you do that beyond her tolerance limit she's no longer controllable, which is why you've spent many nights taking her home and trying - as best you could - to bring her back safe and sound. she won't admit it though.

you dismiss the (probably) rhetoric question, "since yuki's coming, why do you want me to go so bad?"

"what a silly question." she sighs as if she'd heard a child say the most gullible nonsense, "i like having you around, that is all."

"something is tellin' me you don't wanna end up third wheeling," you sing song.

"shut up.. you're coming anyway." she avoids your stare and lets out a heavy sigh, "you like the blue one?" she twirls the dress on its hanger around and turn over to face you, she tilts her head on the side as if to weight your future answer.

"i like the purple better."

"that's what i was thinking.."

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

being confided in the car with a loquacious shoko didn't help the growing headache you felt in the back of your skull. it had been a tough week.

your exams were approximately in a week and just thinking about it actively made your head hurt even more, and your throat tightened with culpability.

"hey, don't die on me now." shoko glares at you from the side as she's driving to the house. you feel her checking you multiple times.

"i'm fine," you sigh, rubbing your temples in an attempt to soothes the growing pain – that eventually worsened when shoko suddenly hit the brakes, a bit too abruptly to your liking, at a stop sign.

"girl, you either need a good night sleep or some good dick." she clicks her tongue, "look at you," she emphasizes by shaking her head as if the sole sight was too much for her.

"focus on not getting us crashed already."

"i'm serious though, you want some water?"

"no–no, i told you i'm okay." you look ahead of you, resting your head against the headrest for some support ; flashes of cars and traffic lights interacting in the night, "you drive like shit though."

"wow. okay, you'll show me how much of a good driver you are when you'll drive me back tonight, yeah?" she chuckles, taking a second turn on a new avenue.

"having you drunk in the back of the car is a constant fight of trying to not make you throw everything up, of course i have to drive nicely."

you see your friend nodding as she taps her fingers on the steering wheel, apparently at loss of words.

"mhm, thanks?"

you relax back with a content smile, "i prefer that,"

the house is not so far from your respective apartments, also not far from your university, which is around a fifteen minutes drive.

you can't really be mad at shoko for dragging you to those places ; the kind of places where she often ends up with a grain of lucidity to keep her half upright, while all the rest of her cognition makes her look like a psychotic out of an asylum. and even though you're practically always the one driving her back to her place, it doesn't exclude the fact that you need this sometimes.

despite your complaints of not wanting to go with her – for various reasons that you listed prior, but also because of your upcoming exams that are sucking the energy directly out of you – you still kind of look forward to the evening, if you're being honest. it gives you the opportunity to sit back and suspend the course of time for an evening, as ephemeral as it is.

the car stops at a red light as you think back to shoko's words, back in her room.

"yuki still didn't tell you about her special guest ?" you mindlessly ask as you fix your makeup by looking in the mirror of the sunshade, curling your eyelashes with the edge of your index to fix them.

"nope, i might have an idea though.." she pauses, you don't say anything as you wait for her to continue, "you know that guy she hangs out with sometimes? she's not like always with him but i don't think she'd invite anyone else, knowing her.."

"what guy?" you frown, you close the sunshade to look at her.

"uhh, black hair, pale skin, really quiet too. one of those snobs who behaves like termites by staying in their hole, you know. i don't even think i've ever talked to him, or seen him talk for that matter." she squints her eyes to reminisce old memories but the sudden shift of color on the traffic lights makes her focus back on the road.

"like what? a sorta depressed emo boy or something?" you scoff.

she laughs, out of mockery for your credulity it seems, "pretty close. but he's really.. the nerdy type y'know? the type to sit there and not say a word unless spoken to about some stupid nerdy shit, i guess."

"as long as he doesn't talk about fuckin' uni or something like that tonight, i'm good." you sigh at the thought as you close your eyes, clearly ignoring the silent warnings in her eyes.

"oh girl, you're such a fucking minx."

you ignore her offense when you continue your interview, "why would she invite him though? i mean why would he even come?"

"why did you?"

you keep silent.

"exactly," she states, "now keep your curiosity to yourself, you're about to find out."

after a few bends leading to the far end of town, you then remark the students crowding the lawn, stepping everywhere as some of them walk to the entry of the house.

no wonder you had to pay entries to get to some crackhead student party – you understood when you saw the size of the house and how many people there was. you silently hoped there was no one around as they would probably spend one hell of a night.

"not too far, i don't wanna have to carry you fifty meters tonight." you warn as shoko tries to find a good parking spot.

she sends you a hard glare and mumbles something inaudible that almost sounds like an insult. she seems to comply anyways as she parks not to far from the entry.

you were met with fresh air as you stepped outside the car, the extremities of your skin growing cold as well as your bare legs barely warming up with the strides you were taking. it was only eight in the afternoon and yet, you already saw wobbly people trying to walk their way out of the house. the two of you approach the path leading to the house, hearing the music as it gradually intensifies.

"there," shoko throws the car keys to you as you catch them hardly in your hands, "in case i lose them during the evening, you're in charge." you don't say anything, you'll have to drive back home anyways.

the calm atmosphere of an april evening was replaced without much transition as you walked past the open doors. the lights of the traffic lights now seemed far less stimulating in comparison to the sight in front of you. and paradoxically, your headache had disappeared, making you guess it was indeed, shoko's driving.

shoko turned around and took your hand to lead you through the numerous ponds of people hovering the place, talking, singing, dancing or even making out grossly. your steps grew heavier – whether from the combined heat of everyone weighing down on you or the vibrations of the boosted bass – it felt as if you were clearly reaching the pit of hell, both physically and symbolically.

and you could feel that with every steps forward, requiring the unsolicited touch of people brushing past you. the odors coming on play for less than a few seconds to merge with your own scent, just to disappear as soon as it entered past your nostrils. the lights changing from blue to purple to pink or even red, reflecting on the few skin shoko was showing with her slip dress as she was leading the way.

to say you were getting overstimulated was understandable. it was like getting thrown into a pit with only hungry lions to face; and with that dramatic metaphor you noted that the first lion you'd have to fight tonight, was the woman in front of you.

once you both reached what seemed to be the main saloon – though it was hard to decipher with the ton of people and the lack of furniture, beside some occupied couches. you didn't even know who was hosting the party to be fair, it seemed to change every other week like some sort of competition of who's gonna have the privilege to clean the big mess next morning – although you'd guess they probably have someone to do just that.

you were so focused on the environment you didn't even see the golden shadow passing by when a pair of fingers snapped you out of your illusion.

"you look like it's your first time at the zoo."

by the tone and voice you wouldn't even need to turn around. yuki looks at you with crossed arms in a sleeveless black turtleneck and flare jeans with a hint of a smile – out of friendliness or amusement, you didn't know.

"definitely feels like it," you smile back as you reach out to embrace her, which she welcomes.

"i see, shoko brought you here just to be her cab home then hm?" she tilts her head ignoring the way shoko snapped her head in her direction.

"hey don't say that! i wanted her company t–"

she gets interrupted by a loud noise, not seemingly coming from the music but by someone who just seemed to crash down on a wooden coffee table – one of the furniture you had such a hard time to see apparently because some people decided to stand on it. both girls in front of you roll their eyes almost in sync.

"well, looks like the alcohol's kicking in. you're coming with me?" yuki addresses to shoko and you.

"yeah i need to get something, i don't like how aware i am right now." shoko shakes her head in disapproval of the events.

the three of you approach the kitchen, where all the drinks stand upright and ready to use like weapons of war laid out on a table.

you don't venture into drink design, preferring to leave it to shoko or yuki, who apparently know best what they're doing since they're arguing over whether pineapple or cranberry would be more suitable to mix with vodka. once the ingredients are mixed, you all take a sip to mark the start of your evening.

"ew what the–" your body shudder lightly from disgust as you lower your hand over the counter, "tastes like piss seriously.." you whine and look at the wrongdoer.

"told you pineapple was a bad choice." yuki restates, but she's ignored by shoko, who takes the cup from your hand and pours the contents into her own cup.

"fuckin' alcoholic.." you breathe out in amusement.

"i paid for these, might as well make it worth my while." shoko rejoins and it makes you think..

"hey yuki, talking about entries, where's your guest?"

she takes another sip before answering through the music as she leans over, "he told me he wanted to use the bathroom, he went upstairs i think but.." she looks around, ".. i don't see him around, maybe he's stuck in there or something." she shrugs as if it were the most banal piece of information.

you naturally frown at the answer and at her lack of interest as to where her friend might be, so does shoko as she flicks yuki's forehead – earning an annoyed grunt from her victim.

"you can talk about me, you don't even care about your friend."

"he's a dude girl, if he's staying up there there's a reason. i'm sure he's fine," she shrugs once again with round eyes devoid of any remorse.

as they continue to argue mindlessly you sneak your hand on the counter, gliding it across the surface to grab discreetly yuki's cup, probably much tastier with cranberry, and retrieve it back to walk away and leave them to their incessant vindictive promises.

you're sure when you come back they'll still be on their feet – at least you'd like to put this much faith in them – as you rush through agglutinated people to get past the stairs. you don't really know why you're going, maybe you could say he picked your interest ; the thought of a guy like him in the middle of the evening just reminds you of a lamb around a horde of wolves.

you take a couple more sips from your cup and climb the stairs, squeezing past a heated couple making out in the middle of it. you follow down the corridor to find a multitude of doors, and one at the end of it that would be the perfect prototype of the bathroom at the end of a corridor. once you reach it you lean in to rest your ear against the door, trying to gauge potential noises, but nothing.

you smooth your denim skirt down and readjust your purse on your shoulder. you knock once, then twice – over the music you're practically not able to hear your own knocking – until your press your fingers down on the locker slowly, peeking through the door but you're only welcomed with pitch black.

maybe he just got lost among people, or maybe he was one of the ones you saw vomiting their guts out outside – which is less probable, but not impossible. you don't really feel like acting like a detective and exploring every nook and cranny, for fear of also finding yourself in front of people fucking in one of the rooms, so you prefer to turn back on your heels, giving up on the mission you thought would spark up your evening a little bit.

but it doesn't really go as planned actually. as you walk back towards the stairs, you notice a door open ajar, as if to let in a trickle of air, so you don't pay it much attention, but it's only when you start to look away that you see the previously motionless shadow, move.

it's quite honest to think that it's the first effects of the alcohol that are starting to take effect, a blurry vision in addition to poor lighting – results are not promising. you pause in your steps once more, tightening your fingers around your cup as you tilt your head so that you can look through the doorway without acting too much like a voyeur.

that's when you see him. rather tall figure standing up with the major help of big boots, black trousers with a black shirt – or maybe the colors are tainted by the darkness of the room, barely lit up by an amber light. and you do notice the signature buns with a few strands falling on his forehead.

his movements are so ever delicate you're having a hard time to decipher if the stability of your vision is playing tricks on you, or if it's really the slowness of his movements. one of his hands reaches over the shelf, he grabs a book and opens it. so careless.

"didn't know you were also a creep." you open the door without warning, with your cup in a hand and it makes you think that you probably look like some drunken mess barging in a room.

he drops the book on the ground.

"fuck!" his panicked eyes dart to you, pretty purplish eyes, "i'm sorry— shit. i didn't mean to pry." he picks up the book from the ground, bending his knees to grab it softly.

"if anything, i was the one prying." you comment, entering the room. and.. oh? what a sight you're welcomed with. it's a crime to not have seen this man on campus before – or maybe that's his crime to decide to stay inside his room with such a pretty face. his eyebrows are still brought near the center of his forehead, a faint look of worry that doesn't seem to disperse as the seconds pass.

it's also shoko's crime not to have mentioned the few silver jewels adorning his lips and eyebrows, or the charcoal mark layered upon his nose and spread horizontally along the length, covering both cheeks. and maybe there's another crime to add to your list when his tired eyes look away from you, trying to find some sort of distraction, anywhere but on you.

"i wasn't doing anything, i swear." his voice is coated with the sweetest tones though it's deeper than you'd expected – such a contrast with his face.

"careful, there's no better way to appear guilty than with this sentence." and you swear you can see a light frown on his face. you take a couple more steps towards him, he stands still, the book still in his hand as it's closed and tightly wrapped around his fingers.

you reach for the book lazily, and you take good care to not try any brusque movements. it's like you're walking on thin ice and you just start to realize how quieter it got in the room, with the buzzing of music barely heard and a few people chanting way too far.

he doesn't even try to fight it, the book slips past his fingers easily as you grab it, "The Picture Of Dorian Gray". classic. he looks down at you silently, a bit too long as if he's realized something.

"are you planning to come down?"

he shoves his hands in his pockets, shifting part of his weight on one foot in a slightly awkward manner, "i don't really feel like it."

"why is that?" you put the book right in the empty space, where you guess it previously was, squished between the other books.

"i don't really enjoy.. this." he nods to the door.

"what do you enjoy then?"

he runs his tongue over his piercing, wetting his lips and smothering the silver ring with it in the process as he ponders, then locks eyes with you finally.

"not parties at least."

"mhm, i would've guessed."

the room was strangely not that big compared to the house, a very sober room that must have been for guests, at least no personal decorations were visible. you approached the window to watch the racket outside and you found yourself glad to be upstairs at the sight.

"yuki was getting worried though." you know it's not true, but you're trying your best, you really are.

he turns around to face you, still not moving an inch from his initial position though, "oh so you're one of yuki's friend? the one she said would come?"

"it depends on whether she talked about a little pain in the ass or a cheeky cynic."

"she used the term.. « bothersome minx », if i recall."

you chuckle softly and put your cup down on the windowsill, gliding it on the side as you turn to look at him. he eyes you up and down, tapping his fingers along his thighs and you're not sure if you are in good shape due to the previous consumption or if he's just being the analytical man he's known to be.

"what's your name?"

"choso."

"choso.." you introduce yourself as well, he repeats your name just the same, "wanna sneak out?"

"what do you mean? like right now?"

"yeah, why not? i mean you can stay in that room as long as you want but i doubt you'll have much fun." he turns his head to glance at the door lazily, gauging the proposal.

"what are we gonna do?"

"i don't know, we'll see." you shrug with a smile and you're not sure if playing the russian roulette with him is gonna get you anywhere but you're too interested to play it safe.

"hm, i want to be back for yuki though, she's gonna need a ride home."

"you will." you say simply, but choso raises his eyebrows, waiting for more based arguments rather than a simple affirmation. so you continue,

"we can just take the car, drive for a couple of minutes and you'll be back here before you even notice."

there's a few seconds of silence where you both look at each other, expecting an answer. he sighs, lowering his head and you think he's about to decline your invitation but..

"alright, but just for some time."

you can't help but grin widely, you eagerly dig in your purse for the car keys shoko gave you and take quick steps towards the exit. as you wait for him on the doorstep you see him take a few strides, but towards the windowsill where you previously were standing. he grabs the drink you left dismissively, his jacket on the bed, and throws your empty cup in the bin just in the corner of the room as he walks back towards you.

he smiles gently at you and closes the door behind the two of you.

you practically had to fight your way through the crowd waiting for you downstairs. you thought the hardest part would be getting through to the front door, but once outside you found yourself in a quandary as you had to tiptoe to avoid stepping on any garbage, sticky liquids or dead drunks on the lawn.

choso asked you if you were able to take the wheel, you told him yes, of course – you'd only had one drink that had barely shaken you. he insisted on driving anyway.

the place where you had him taken was one of the only ones not too far away that was still open at this hour; and especially one that didn't look like a crowded bar.

a small café-restaurant run by a woman who was far too old to still be on her feet serving until late at night – but she always did it with too much care that you always resigned yourself to going there, even if the prices were higher.

the car ride had been remotely silent, with only a few instructions as to the routes to take and choso asking you if you wanted to put the heat on.

you took your seats on the colorful banquettes, waiting for the woman to come and take your order. the contrast was quite ironic, seeing you and choso dressed for some fancy evening in a place that was very reminiscent of that kind of little retro restaurant in the 50s, with the famous jukebox playing ballads from Elvis Presley, and the endless greasy hot dogs displayed on the counter.

"didn't think you'd follow a stranger blindly,"

he rests his forearms on the table and bring his eyes back on you as they were occupied scanning the place, "you're no real stranger, you're yuki's friend after all."

"oh i'm sure you were the kinda kid to enter some random white van." you say, more to yourself though as you look at the menu briefly. he doesn't say anything in return, and you don't look up either to see if he's looking at you or not.

"tell me choso," his name is like the ring of a bell, his eyes widen just a little, "how come i've never seen you around? you're on campus right?"

"mhm, i guess," he opens his mouth as if to start a sentence but he soon renounces by closing it immediately, he reaches for his nape to massage it, "i guess i don't really hang out around campus."

"majoring in?"

"computer science."

you would have bet your entire fucking fortune on it. you let a smile slip through.

"um, you're friends with gojo satoru too, right?"

the question definitely surprises you, everyone knows who's satoru, and that's not to his advantage as he's more or so known for being one hell of a jerk. you nod and he takes a deep breath, one that speaks volumes.

"i know what he says about me, you know. i just don't want you to think i'm like that." he admits and the sight almost makes you frown, you don't know if it's pity or empathy but you shake the feeling away.

"what do you think he says about you?"

he pauses for a few seconds, he's quick to bring his hands around his ear piercing, fidgeting with them as he relaxes back against the banquette, he finally crosses his arms over his chest.

"they say things that aren't necessarily wrong but aren't totally true either."

when he says they, he's probably referring to shoko, or maybe suguru if you think about it, though he doesn't seem to care about people's business that much.

you'll blame choso's inability to communicate properly for his ambiguous answers and not because he's trying to pull a series of enigma right now.

"mhm, and don't you think i have a mind of my own?"

his eyes almost pop out of their sockets and he once again leans against the table, clearly not settled on how to sit still, "no–no i didn't mean to say that ! i'm sure you do," he says softly, yet still very much alarmed.

you almost regret your choice of words but he's so goddamn sweet it would be a shame not to tease him a little.

"i don't know i just, don't want you to think badly of me." his fingers fidgets with the salt and pepper shaker in front him.

you know you're in no position to talk, you even feel embarrassed if you're being honest, as you were not just about an hour ago making fun of him in the car with shoko – that, he doesn't know.

the old woman comes back to take both your orders and it's as if the bubble you were both in had just burst, bringing you back to the café as the music gradually came back to your senses. choso orders a strawberry milkshake and you take a blueberry.

the way he talks is so sweet, it makes you physically wince, and let's not talk about the way he looks at the old woman like she was cotton candy to the eye. you think it's all an act he's about to drop when she leaves but, even when she returns behind the counter he returns his eyes on you with the same look ; heavy lids – that you don't know if they are the consequence of a long day or if they're always like that – with shades or purple circling them.

"you'll know that the only time I take satoru's opinion into account is when I have to make a choice for lunch. you're okay." you assure.

he nods slowly and you see his face soften at your reassuring words.

"i don't know why you hang out with them." he says and it's so faint you're not even sure if he mumbled to himself or if he actually talked to you.

you tilt your head on the side with a frown, "what do you mean?"

he takes some time to answer, to gather his words or because he's hesitant you don't really know.

"you were always so nice to me," but you're still puzzled so he continues, "back in high school, you weren't hanging out with this kind of people, y'know."

you don't even pay attention to the way he's not so subtly trying to bring your friends down, you readjust yourself in your seat, visibly confused.

"i don't.. i mean, we were in the same class?"

choso shrugs, not really phased to see you don't remember him at all, "you had a lot of friends. plus, i didn't have these two." he points his finger up to show his hair attached in two buns atop of his head as if it could be the sole reason of your memory lapse. silly.

"i like this look on you. you look nice with them." you say as you look at the hairstyle thoroughly. the praise seemed to have gotten to him because you can see a small smile on his lips as he looks around impatiently for the drinks to arrive – or maybe he just needed to lay his eyes somewhere else than on you.

the drinks arrive shortly after, not surprising due to the lack of customers as it's practically just the two of you there. you don't really say anything much, comfortable in the silence you're both in as you grab your order to taste them. you don't really want to continue the conversation about your friends right now, and choso seems to have dropped the idea of it too.

choso watches you as you lean in to wrap the straw around your lips, elbows on the table to support your body on top. he also watches the way the milkshake climbs up the straw to pour into your mouth, away from prying eyes.

"you want some?"

his blurred eyes meet yours.

"huh?"

you smirk, only because you're enjoying the look on his face and you want it to worsen. you straighten up properly, away from that damn straw and focus on choso, who grows a little embarrassed, somehow – you see it, he backs down a little just at the sight.

"i know what you want," you say, almost above a whisper, stirring the straw with painful slowness.

"you just gotta ask."

choso doesn't say anything. he doesn't really know what to say actually as he flicks his eyes between your eyes and your lips. he's panicked, that's one thing anyone could notice if only they had their attention on him.

"you want a taste, right?" you say with such a languid voice he has to look around to see if you're putting on a show for anyone around, in vain of any spectators. choso raises his eyebrows, devoid of any answers.

"my drink, you idiot."

such a fool, his pouding heart slows back down quietly into his chest and it shows by the prior rapid breaths that are replaced by long and painful sighs. and what a disguised curse to be around you. he doesn't even seem to notice the degrading name he got assigned, you're not even sure he's got to hear the short sentence correctly.

"um.. yeah, sure."

you glide the drink forward on the table until it reaches his fingers which firmly wrap around the glass – and if you were from the police you'd suspect it's to hide his shaking fingers. he puts his own lips where yours once were and begins to sip through the straw. he doesn't have to look up to see you watching intently, he can feel it.

"there you go, how is it?"

"s'good." he nods.

the aroma melts on his tongue, almost sugarcoating the strawberry he previously ingested and the sour taste of a little humiliation.

"i wonder what's going on in that little head of yours. you're so analytical with everything."

"you make me feel like I have to be."

a head tilt from you is all he needs to know he has to develop his thoughts.

"be aware of my surroundings."

your answer gets stuck in the back of your throat when you hear the buzzing of your phone in your purse, you dig it out : a call from shoko.

you excuse yourself and choso simply nods, you bring the phone to your ears and you soon regret the movement as dissonant noises come to deafen your drums – urging you to pull your phone away from your ear.

"h-hey!! where.." the sentence is cut by another voice, and maybe some screams, you don't really know. you squint your eyes as you try to decode the semblance of sentences thrown at you, you call shoko but she doesn't seem to be on the line although the call indicates two minutes past.

choso continues to sip on his milkshake and he looks just as confused as you are.

"where r'you–" you don't need to ask her if she's drunk or not, you can hear it through the slurring of her words. you don't answer her question though, you know it will cause more damage than anything to say you'd preferred to leave the party to go sip on some milkshake with a man you're supposed to despise more than anything.

after five minutes of negotiation, you finally find out what shoko wanted - simple curiosity as to where you were, but also a call for help with the disappearance of choso, who was supposedly trapped in the toilet, according to yuki. you promptly hang up and finish your milkshake in a one go.

"she's in trouble?" choso gauges your reaction and imitates you, putting away his own things as he puts his jacket on.

"she's about to be if we don't come pick her up now." you place you purse back on your shoulder as you draw enough of cash to cover the bill and tip, "c'mon, let's go."

choso wasn't so wrong in the end, since you both arrived in time to prevent a tragedy from happening, one more on the list that shoko may not remember - despite the scale of it. you and choso agreed to take back your possessions – in this case yuki and shoko, who seemed to be standing on their own two feet only by some celestial force.

no need to to depict the end of the night, it was always the same when you went out with shoko. though something – or rather someone – during evening had told you it wasn't going to be the same ; that your tranquility was long gone, that you had now committed, whether you'd like it or not apparently, to be a fucking babysitter.

and he was fast with it, he didn't wait a week or so, he didn't even try to make it natural. the day after the party, choso went straight to talk to you, and the boy didn't even care if you were with your group of friends, the same that vehemently talked shit behind his back.

he didn't even try to wipe that smile off of his face, nor to calm the rosy tint on his cheeks that left little room for other interpretations. he didn't even try to cover for you when he gave you change for the milkshake you'd paid for – and God he didn't seem to understand that if you'd paid him it didn't mean you particularly wanted to give him the impression he owed you anything in return.

he also didn't notice that you didn't appreciate his refund, that you would have preferred to send him off, but that under the pressure from satoru and shoko, who were only viciously agreeable to him, you had to accept his exchange with a big smile.

you really didn't know whether his behavior was of the order of undisputed innocence or whether it was a means of publicly humiliating you.

in any case, the incident didn't go away, not with satoru and shoko around the corner, who were both just explaining the situation to suguru in the middle of lunch in the refectory.

"she left yuki and i alone with a bunch of freaks," shoko declares through the clattering sounds of the cantine while pointing her fork on you as she explains the evening, once again.

"you didn't seem to mind when i pulled you away from one that you were trying to dissect open with a knife." you insist, once again.

you stir the fuming food and distribute it homogeneously over your plate to let it cool down, ignoring shoko's words as she continues the story.

"it's kinda funny that you spent the evening with a guy who's a carbon copy of the type you say you hate." suguru intervenes and you sigh at the snarky remark. satoru keeps chewing on his food carelessly, clearly enjoying the roast you're subject to.

you shake your head at the statement, "spending an evening with someone and actually enjoying the time spent is different."

"mhm, clearly if i hadn't called you you'd still be making out with him right now.." shoko mocks and you swear you can see satoru's lips twitch in amusement.

"we just talked !" you half whisper, half scream, letting your food drop into your plate, causing your friends to shush you.

"c'mon just say you like him, we'll still be friends y'know?" you look deadpan at satoru, a look that doesn't require any words.

"i mean everyone knew he had a crush on you in high school, it wouldn't be surprising if it was still the case." suguru shrugs, you don't know if if he's being honest this time or if it's another joke. you choose to believe the latter.

you shake your head and look around the cantine to ease your mind from your shit friends, which doesn't seem to be the thing to do as satoru adds another weight to your already heavy shoulders.

"what? looking for your new pet? homeboy is probably hiddin' in his room right now. i mean, when doesn't he?"

you breathe out tensely, butchering your food with your cutlery as you clearly picture some detailed ways you'd like to treat the man in front of you.

"fucking assholes.."

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

after what happened during the last couple of days you really tried taking measures. good measures. and it was kind of ironic how choso should've been the type to try and dodge any interaction with your friends, but now you were the one trying to sneak past him.

he was nice. you'll give him that.

but he was stupid. so fucking careless. and really naive because he surely did think an evening sipping on milkshake meant something along the lines of "will you marry me?"

anytime he spotted you in between classes he just had to walk in your direction. whether it was just small talk or not, he talked to you every. single. time.

but he was so nice. you couldn't just shove it in his face? could you? despite shoko's encouragement to drop him there's something that just.. didn't feel right. and may God forgive you, but you know this is certainly not the advent of your good morals.

though all of that clingy attitude really pissed you off, you did find yourself thinking about that evening and how Elvis Presley was so annoyingly being repeated in the background. how his eyes, despite their darkness and exhausted features, never ceased to display the most authentically pure emotions you've ever seen.

"i don't know i just, don't want you to think badly of me."

you sigh, heavily. some conflicted parts of you wanted to know more, an evening wasn't enough to just send him off right away, right? who was he? who does he claim to be? and the fact that you don't remember him, no, you can't remember him doesn't help either to your curiosity. because you did search through your yearbooks and to see his face didn't help you bring back lost memories.

shit maybe you just need someone to ring some senses to you but you also don't want shoko nor satoru to do it, as much as you hate to think about it they'll taint your vision more than they'll clear it out. in some ways choso was right ; their judgment might have their part to play in the way you think. in some ways only.

or maybe you're trying to blame your friends for your shitty behavior which only makes you feel ten times worse. you let out a grunt as you get up from your chair, going to the library to study with a clouded mind wasn't a good idea and even more at the end of the day.

failing to have a cigarette you can borrow from shoko right now, you choose to take a walk around campus. it's not the best sight but the air is far more fresh outside.

oh and how ironic was it when your feet led you upstairs to the dorms. it's not like you even planned your itinerary, it was like second nature to you, plus the air definitively felt a lot more breathable.

out of all the rumors you've heard, you knew at least one was true : choso was an orphan ; he stayed in the dorms right above the college structure.

and how absurd that was when you feet planted right outside his doorway – you can say thank you to the floor tenant files that didn't seem to care about the resident's personal information.

the thing missing though is your speech. you didn't have anything in mind. fuck what are you thinking? you're not even sure you'd want to see him at all, despite your evident location. before you could produce another stupid thought your fist met the door to knock twice.

it was about six seconds of wait that felt like half a minute as you just stood there outside. the door opened slightly ajar, and it reminded you of the first time – well not counting high school – that you saw him.

long strands of black hair dangled in front of the doorway before he stepped closer to fill the gap with his width. of course his eyes widened. they always do when they meet yours.

"oh, hey," he quickly looked over his shoulder, behind him and lowered his eyes to take a look at himself.

it was an agreeable sight, you will not deny. his hair were hanging loose at shoulder length, wearing only an oversized white t-shirt (was it oversized or just his actual stature ?) and gray sweatpants. you almost felt like diverting your eyes away as if you were prying on something you shouldn't see.

"hey."

silence.

"are you okay?" he stays still, swiping his tongue inside his lower lip while playing with his ring piercing you presume ; a habit of his you've noticed. you don’t really know if he's asking to be polite or if you genuinely look like you need help.

"mhm," you nod, "can i come in?"

"uhh, yeah" he takes another look behind him and you're starting to think maybe you came at the wrong time. "yeah, of course." he opens the door wider and steps aside, you enter and to your relief nothing crazy's going on.

the room is neatly organized to your surprise, not that you were imagining a slum, but you were expecting something more akin to the prototype of the homebody student. you avoid looking too much everywhere, you didn't come for that anyway.

choso retreats to his desk where he leans against it, his hands on the length of the edge to support his body.

"looks serious eh?" he escapes a small laugh, almost a scoff actually as he scratches his forearm and you suddenly want to leave the room because of how miserable you feel.

"we have to stop this.. thing here." you point to him then yourself.

you almost feel bad for him. almost, because of the way his hand previously on his other arm stops in the previous scratching motion, because of the way he only stares at you for a few solid seconds.

"what do you mean?"

"you know what i mean," you sigh "i don't even know why you suddenly want to talk to me anyway," you shake your head and look down. it's not even something you're blaming him for, you're really wondering why he'd want to talk to someone who plays on both sides with him.

"it's not.. that sudden. i've always wanted to talk to you." he tells you softly, "have i done something wrong?"

he's too nice with you it makes you audibly grunt.

"do you have a crush on me or something?"

silence again. a longer one this time. you didn't really mean to blurt it out like that, you'd envisioned something a little more subtle but frustration got the best of you.

his body shifts, his hands move closer to his body and he crosses his arms over his chest, tapping his biceps with his finger repeatedly. he stays silent.

"it's a yes or no question choso."

he pinches the bridge of his nose just where his mark is and breathes out a small "fuck".

"alright. it's ok if you don't wanna use your words, you certainly don't fail showing it to the whole fucking world anyway."

he takes a step forward rapidly, a single step but big enough to be closer to you nonetheless.

"i'm sorry, shit, i didn't know it would make you so upset. i'm sorry." he apologies. and you don't know if he realizes how upset he looks in the situation, he runs a hand through his hair in distress and you can see how agitated he is.

his face is right above yours, you don't really have to do anything but to look up to meet his panicked eyes. and it's a complete contrast how your eyebrows almost hurt from the frown while his face is contorted in worry.

and you'll blame your beating heart on your irritation and building up anger and definitely not because of his sole proximity. you try to commit to that thought at least.

"you're insufferable you know that?" you hug yourself as you readjust the strap of your purse on your shoulder.

he runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek and looks away for a flitting second before bringing his eyes back on you, or your lips ; he's very indecisive poor boy doesn't know where to look when he has you this close to him.

"i.. i didn't know know how to tell you i'm sorry i just–"

"oh shut up,"

you practically throw yourself on him as it's the only way he'll eventually stop apologizing, one of your hands quickly wrap around his neck, to the base of his nape pulling him closer as your lips crash onto his. choso stumbles back at the contact and his hands reach instinctively on your waist for support, his body hits the desk where he stood prior and he escapes the faintest gasp at the harsh contact.

you wouldn't even have dreamed of doing this – fuck if shoko would come to know about this she'd probably laugh at you. but he's so gentle in his every moves, his every words, so naive about your motives it would be a damn shame if he knew what kind of crap person you really are. if the two of you really had to stop talking like you stated, your only wish would be to at least do this before.

choso's fingers grip more tightly on your waist, his thumb brushing against the fabric of your shirt practically playing with the hem of it. he pulls you closer and parts his lips to kiss you back avidly while your nails dig deeper around his nape at the feeling, before sliding them back along his jaw to orient his head at a better angle. you feel him exhale through his nose as you slow down your pace, slowly detaching your lips from his.

"y'taste good." he whispers against your lips, his forehead is practically touching yours and it's only now that you realize how much his features have changed within seconds. his eyes are blazed, breathless and fingers shaky around your waist. you'll blame the taste of your lips of the cherry gloss you're wearing – and he's wearing too now that his lips are shiny from it.

you're no better though, you swallow as you catch your breath, your heart is pounding in your chest so much you also hear it through the buzzing of your ears, coating the sounds around you.

"yeah? what is it, never kissed before?" you smile, you'll never get tired of teasing him, not when he always gives you the same look.

"not like that," he pants and smile back at you, a little smile that soon turns into a frown, "i.. shit, i wanna make you feel good. can i?" his voice is so low it makes your head spin.

"then do it," you kiss him once slowly and you feel him shudder at the new sensation, "make me feel good." you kiss him twice, even slower this time.

no need to say it twice for choso, if it's not you latching on him right now he definitely doesn't feel like backing down, he takes your answer for words and his hands find your cheeks instantly, cupping them as he puts a lot more pressure, making you step back. your hands lower down on his shoulders and your purse slip down your arm until it reaches the ground harshly ; not your priority number one right now.

he presses his body even closer to you and you don't need an explanatory drawing of what's happening down his pants as you feel his hard on pressed against you. you put your thigh forward, adding your own pressure against him and the moan that escapes his lips is enough to make your skin shiver and your panties tighter. much tighter.

still glued to each other, he guides you to his bed, just behind and it takes a couple steps back for your calves to hit the furniture, your body drops down the bed as you look up at him and you think he's about to slouch his own body on you, but he kneels down right before you instead.

you put your hands on the bed behind you to push yourself farther against the wall but to your – second – surprise he puts his hands flat on your knees.

"i need you right here," he soothes as he taps your knee lightly, making you stop in your movements. you don't know if he's about to do what you think he's about to do but your questions get quickly answered.

"can i?" he asks as he flicks his eyes onto your skirt, asking permission to touch it you guess. you nod eagerly and he leans back slightly to take your mary janes off instead, right foot, then to the left foot so ever carefully and putting them aside on the floor. you watch him and notice how steady and focused he looks despite his torso heaving up and down rapidly, you see it.

he straighten up on his knees and the sight has you gulping down, you're on his bed, he's on the ground just right in front of you, his eyes scan your face thoroughly you almost feel overwhelmed by it. your skirt gets pulled down easily, oh but so slowly, you prop yourself up on your elbows to make it easier for him.

"so pretty." he breathes out, he discards the piece of clothing on the floor and places both of his hands on your hips to bring your body closer to him as he easily glides you.

he leans in and his face is only inches away from your crotch, he glances at you before returning back on your clothed cunt. his thumb circles the hem of your panties as if he's admiring the sewing method and your breath hitches when his thumb drops a little lower, down where you clit hides beneath the fabrics.

"don't have all day, choso" you gulped, your hands bawl into tight fists in apprehension.

"okay–okay." he coos and immediately grant your wish ; he pulls your panties down and you're now bottom naked on his bed. it gives you a real reason to be embarrassed for sure because you didn't really "plan" on being that drenched from a single quick make out session. and the more he stares at your exposed cunt the more you grow impatient.

"choso.." you try to warn him but it comes out as a whine instead. he shifts as he gets closer to the edge of the bed, he wraps his hands under your legs to grab onto your thighs firmly.

"gonna make you feel good ok?"

"jus' do it–" you choke on your own words when you feel his tongue on you. a single lap and you're already panting in the room like a mad woman, "ffuck." you whine and your hand reaches immediately down to get a hold of something – his hair in this case which is being in his vision doesn't stop him nonetheless to complete his mission – as it's the only way you'd call it due to how devoted he looks between your legs.

he gives you a few more laps, down from your entrance to the very top on your clit, and he's diverse in his moves you'll give him that – he goes either way from the right side, then the left side, until he decides to flick his tongue against your pussy from side to side this time. you'd honestly thought the man would go down on you as his first time, his first experiment but it looks like you're the one experimenting for the first time his tongue skills – that, you don't miss to point out.

"shit- where the fuck did you learn to do that?" you pant, you push his hair back the best you can though it still falls atop of your pussy, giving you extra tingles on the way.

the sounds are purely gross, the room is nothing but a space for filth, hearing liquids collides whether it'd be his saliva on you or your slick on him. doesn't help from your restrained moans nor from his own whimpers that resonate lowly against your skin – it's almost as if he's being louder than you are.

he props your legs up onto his own shoulders when he leans down further into your pussy, getting better access while your thighs are in the air, tensing and quivering at each touch.

you start to seriously lose it when you feel pressure on your clit, getting even more stimulated your head starts to feel dizzy ; his thumb brushes against your folds to gather your juices before going up to your clit while his tongue starts to push down your entrance.

he mumbles something but you can't understand either from the pounding in your ears or because he factually has his mouth buried in your cunt.

"you feel so– fuck!" you almost cry out when he accelerates the pace on your clit "so fuckin' good shit," and before you get hold of the situation your muscles contract, your thighs wraps even tighter around choso and you're not really in the mindset to care if you're hurting him right now when you're nothing more than a trembling mess under him.

when you release the grip you have around his head with your legs, he slowly backs down and wipes under his chin with the back of his hand, breathing heavily as if he had just come flooding back from the water after a long dive. the sight has your brain rebooting from the start, simply short circuited.

"t'was okay?"

you almost feel indignation for his own self when you look at him in disbelief, "okay? thought i was losing my mind over there," you slowly sit up as you look at him with heavy lids. you probably look like you got run over.

"want me to get something to–"

he stops once he sees you getting your top over your shoulders, taking it off and throwing on the chair near his desk. you get closer to the edge of the bed, still sit up on it as you cage him between your legs since he's still kneeling on the ground.

"well.. i guess you have other plans..?" he murmurs under his breath, he doesn't even try to hide the fact he's staring, the man is practically glued to you like when kids stand too close to a tv.

"you're a perceptive one aren't you?" you leaned down to slip your fingers under his shirt, near his hips to take it off too, "unless you don't want to?" you whisper, stopping your movements to get his approval before starting anything but oh don't you dare take your hands off of him because he'll put them back on their original place.

"no–no, i do. i want you." his eyes meets yours and it's as if repentance was just knocking at your door and you don't know if you're willing to open the door because of how good he ate your pussy or because you really feel like you should do it.

"good."

you knew choso was introverted, a little shy even, the kind of men to be a little prudish even, the ones who'd rather stay indoors, the ones who's rather not get touched by anybody, even less when those places are under their clothes. you thought he was that kind of man when you'd first met him.

you got fooled. once when he mastered the technique of his tongue on you a few minutes ago that got your jaw dislocating in pleasure. but twice now that his shirt is past his torso, up to get through his head and you see yet another pair of silver jewelry. one on each of his nipples.

and your reaction is suited honestly, you just drop your arms and leave him struggling with the shirt on his own as his head is still tangled inside of it, you swear under your breath as you look at the two shiny buds. and maybe he did it as a distraction, getting two silvery eyes up his breast might be one hell of a surprise when you're trying to look at his whole torso ; but even in that case you wouldn't get why on earth you'd need to be distracted from his upper body, because what a fucking view.

once you see choso's head pop out of his t-shirt you're so turned on you're scared if you move you'll just leave the biggest pond of your slick on his covers ; you're feeling genuinely embarrassed to say the least.

"come here, get on your back." you tap on your left to show him the way on his own bed, he executes your demand without much more convincing. he lays down where his pillow rest, propping his head up a little as he still supports his body on his forearms, watching you.

which is not such a bad thing as it gets his whole upper body tensing up from the position, and you realize you got fooled thrice because of how defined his body is, muscles tracing his skin in the prettiest way.

you crawl closer to him and take his sweatpants off, throwing them along with the other remaining of clothes on the ground.

you straddle choso, only in his boxers now and he's always on the lookout for your next move, eyes traveling along every part of your body standing so close to him. you lean in to kiss him again, a simple kiss this time, not heated, nor passionate as you'd intended earlier, almost too intimate to your liking. you feel him relax under you, no, melt. he melts under your kiss, his back rests totally flat on his bed now and his hands travel along you jaw, touching you like porcelain if it were to break.

"it's only fair i return the favor, right?" you tell him as you lean near his ear, and if you chose to ignore the bulge in his underwear when you got him out off his pants you're certain you can't now. it's entirely poking through the fabrics to lean oh so perfectly against your entrance you have to fight back a moan just at the feeling. how embarrassing.

"fuck, please do." he moans, his hands get back on your hips slowly, pressing his fingers into your skin lightly. though you'd rather take some of your time, if you're in this might as well do it right.

you kiss your way down his body, from his lips, to his jaw, on his neck a few times — just because you love watching his adam's apple bobble up every time he gulps when you touch him — near his collarbones, on his torso and why not on the twins piercings he's got on it too.

at the contact of your tongue swirling around his nipples choso instantly throws his head back on his pillow, earning a deep breath from him along with a "fuckk" he couldn't bite back. at the same time your hips start to grind, slowly, cautiously, you wouldn't want to get off on his boxers now would you?

your hands reach down his boxers, under it to grab his dick but... maybe you got fooled fourth time. or maybe the saying is right, the quietest got the biggest and he's a living proof of the statement, you can attest. you break the contact on his sensitive buds and sit up correctly to look at it lay flat on his stomach, curved and strained in its own blood flow. you really have to close your mouth to not drool on it directly and you mumble something unintelligible.

his hands rest on your thighs, they try to guide you forward, they really do and you let them. you bring your hips forward, pussy gliding – as it's the only way it would be described, you're soaked – on his dick, just slipping through your wet folds, enough to mold him on the way forward, then all the way back when you return to your position. you let your hands fall on his abs, you're not even tired, you just need the support right now or else you're afraid you'll just collapse right onto him.

"God, you feel so good," you whine, grinding slowly along his cock and you honestly don't know how he's handling it down there 'cause it feels too fucking good for you.

"n-need you right now," he painfully gulps, he looks at the friction with a frown and he lowers his head back on the pillow, "shit..." he whimpers, such a wobbly voice yet he's not even inside of you thus far. you don't know who's winning the embarrassing contest but he might win over you if you keep giving him good pussy.

"so sweet. you're too fuckin' sweet y'know that?" you praise and choso's hands come directly to grab at your tits, cupping the roundness of them with both hands as he massages them slowly, pinching your nipple between his index and his thumb.

you're done with being patient actually as it is your cue to wrap your fingers around the head of his cock. you brush your thumb over his tip and his whole body jerks off from the touch, you slide your whole hand down the base of it as you pull yourself up on your knees.

you thought you'd reached the epitome of pleasure when he was between your legs just now, and you don't know what other seventh heaven you landed on when he entered you, but it was just as similar.

the head of his cock has just slipped through and you're already full of it, full of him. and you have no doubt when you look at choso that he's feeling it too. you both moan at the new feeling, a feeling you were too puerile to treat with such disdain when you looked at him, a feeling you'd never come to know if he didn't slightly hurt your ego with his kindness.

"holy shit, so fucking tight f'me.." he purrs through the whole process, his hands help you go down, steadily and slowly at your pace when more than half of his cock has sunk into you. your legs shake slightly when you've reached the end, you start to bounce up and down lazily, hearing every gushing sounds of both of your slick as they disperse through your organs.

he can't help it, you don't know if it's because you've teased him so much pior that he can't hold it in anymore, but the grip on your hips gets tighter, the bouncing up and down his cock gets messier, and even though your thighs start to feel numb you soon understand that choso has your back. his hips starts to buck back into you to meet your hips halfway, skin to skin as they collide rapidly.

"f–fuck, choso, you're gonna make m–"

"i know, i know." he soothes, you lean into him, chest to chest as you put your hands on his shoulders. and you can't help but be extremely grateful right now as you're practically laying down on him, he's fucking right into you with the help of his hands pressing down your hips as he moans in your ears softly.

"wanna make this pretty pussy mine– fuck. wanna make you mine." he whimpers and you can hear the way his throat tightens that he's close. you wouldn't wanna lie saying you're not – to be honest you've been wanting to come as soon as you hoped on his thighs.

you don't know if it's the heat of the moment, because you're taking his dick so fucking perfectly inside of you that the thought of being with him doesn't really repulse you that much, for it actually seems pleasant enough to imagine it.

"fuck–fuck-i'm gonna cum!"

and you sincerely hope nobody is in their dorms right now because you're sure the whole floor knows what their nerdy resident is doing to some resentful student on campus. he's so vocal you wouldn't have it any other way, specially when every each one of his moans reach your cunt before your ears.

you feel your legs tremble and your nails dig deeper into his skin when you reach your second orgasm, and not one for the weak ones as your pussy clenches so tightly you think you're sucking choso's dick whole with the suction. your hips get pulled up on spot when choso releases his own shot in between your bodies, his dick springing out from where it was caged. you still tremble on him when he breathes heavily, coming down to his high.

you both stay silent for a couple of seconds and reality hits you back.

"you're too good to me." he murmurs as he wipes some of the mascara under your eyes with his thumb, you head is still near the crook of his neck, you don't move.

oh only if he knew.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

"can you believe nerdy boy got laid?"

you turn to shoko almost too rapidly, "what?"

"i know, who would do that.."

you don't say anything. you don't really wanna say anything for now, but you know shoko isn't saying that just to make the conversation when she waits for an answer. a valid one.

©nabitsun !

thank you for reading :D

[girlgenius1111]

wrong.

r is dating an older woman. her teammates don't approve. when r and her girlfriend breakup, she hides it from her teammates, determined not to let them know that they were right.

angst + fluff. breakup obviously. protective barca :)

When you'd decided to ignore your teammates feelings about your girlfriend, you didn't imagine it would end as terribly as it did. You chalked it up to them being overprotective, which they were, rather than them being right about her, which they also were. She was 28, and you were 19, and you knew they felt that she was too old for you. You were one of the younger players on the team, which you took as something of a challenge, as if you had to prove your maturity. That wasn't why you were dating someone so much older, but it was certainly a perk. You thought they'd be impressed when they met her, but they were not. They waited until she left to tell you that they thought it was a bad idea, that she was too old for you.

This only really strengthened your resolve to keep seeing her, much to your teammates frustration. They'd all tried to speak to you about it, promising that they just didn't want to see you get hurt or taken advantage of, but you wouldn't hear any of it. You all fell into an unspoken agreement to not discuss your girlfriend, as it was the cause of countless arguments, and they clearly weren't changing your mind. Alexia had finally thrown up her hands, saying that if you wanted to be immature and not listen to them, you were free to do so, but that you shouldn't expect them to be there to fix it when it inevitably ended poorly.

Alexia was just frustrated and worried, and she hadn't really meant it. She thought that was obvious; her and the team had made it clear, she thought, that they were always there for you. No matter what. They'd proven it, time and time again, but Alexia's words rattled around in your brain for days after she said them, and you were unable to pretend they hadn't hurt. Still, you pushed it to the back of your mind, confident that you wouldn't need your teammates, because nothing would go wrong.

-----

Of course, everything did go wrong. You had gone to your girlfriend's apartment to surprise her with dinner after training one day. You were in the kitchen, preparing to start cooking when you heard her key in the door. She was on the phone when she walked in, sitting on the couch and continuing her conversation, and you decided to wait until she was off the phone to announce your presence.

"No, really, it's fine. She doesn't have to know, and besides, she's just a bit of fun. She's 20, she can't possibly think I'm serious about her."

You felt nauseous. As far as you were aware, you were the only 20 year old she was seeing, which meant she was talking about you. It only got worse from there.

"I definitely prefer you, baby. Her body is nice, obviously, but I could do without her personality. She's young, and annoying, and she doesn't know how to shut up. I don't know how her team tolerates her, honestly, I can't spend more than a couple hours with her unless we're partaking in... other activities, and then her mouth is pretty busy."

You can hear the smirk in her voice, and you swear you can feel your heart fall out of your chest. She was speaking so carelessly about you, so cruelly. You felt used, and suddenly self conscious about everything you'd ever said. Was she right? Did you talk too much? Did the team secretly hate you? It only took you a few seconds to decide that she was probably right. She was older, the age of a lot of your teammates, and it seemed incredibly likely that they felt the same way.

Your embarrassment quickly turned to anger, though, as it often did, and you grabbed the flowers you'd brought her, and marched out into the living room. Her eyes widened, hand dropping the phone, and you threw the flowers in her direction, as well as the key to her apartment she'd given you, before walking right out the door, taking care to slam it behind you.

-----

You thought you were handling it pretty well. You walked right out of her apartment and to your car, driving home. You didn't cry, that would be ridiculous. What was there to cry about? You should have known it would end like this. You couldn't stand the thought of hearing your teammates I told you so's, nor the thought of them sticking to their guns, and not being there for you when you needed them, because they'd warned you. You decided that you wouldn't need them, then, which definitely was not fueled partly by your ex-girlfriend's words about them probably hating you. No, you were fine. Everything was fine.

You woke the next morning sadder than you'd been the night before. The anger had faded, leaving a hole in your chest, where the words you'd overheard were etched permanently. You knew that, in this state, it would take just one person asking if you were okay for you to break, and that was not an option. You would act as normal as possible, no one would suspect anything, and you could cry when you got home, not before.

-----

You wished you didn't have such perceptive teammates. You could have sworn you'd acted normally, completely normally, as you headed into the locker room that morning, joking around with Pina and Ona, and doing your best to keep a smile on your face. It was like the older girls had some internal alarm that went off when you weren't okay, and you felt their eyes flitting over to you throughout the morning gym session.

Still, you held strong, avoiding the girls that were watching you carefully, instead spending time with the younger girls, who were happy to joke around, which keep your mind off things. Your first real test came in the form of Lucy Bronze.

Everyone was walking out to the pitch, when she fell into step with you, slinging an arm over your shoulder.

"How did your surprise dinner go?" She asked. You'd completely forgotten that you'd told Lucy about that. She was one of the only ones who could be civil when talking about your girlfriend, taking the time to ask you about her, even though you knew she held the same opinions as the others.

"Oh. Fine. It was good." You replied shortly, and Lucy couldn't help but be slightly confused when you shrugged out from under her arm, and jogged away. You weren't one to spare details when telling a story, but you had evidently not wanted to talk about it. That wasn't like you.

"What special dinner?" Ingrid asked, coming up on the other side of Lucy as you literally ran away. Mapi was on her other side, also looking curiously at Lucy.

"She was surprising her girlfriend by cooking her dinner last night," Lucy explained and Mapi frowned.

"I don't like that girl." She stated plainly. "She's not good enough for our pequeña."

Ingrid rolled her eyes. "Everyone knows how you feel about her, love, you don't need to remind us every time she's brought up."

Mapi ignored her girlfriend. "She answered strangely, no? Normally she's talktative whenever someone asks about her girl, but she ran away from you." The Spaniard observed, watching as you sprayed water on Pina's head, your smile not quite reaching your eyes.

"Yeah, I guess. You know she hates hearing how much everyone dislikes her girlfriend though, it was probably just that." Lucy dismissed, but Mapi's eyes stay trained on you.

"Hmm."

"María, please don't get involved in that again, you know how upset it makes her when everyone has something to say about her relationship," Ingrid said reproachfully, fully understanding the look in her girlfriend's eyes.

"I am not going to get involved," Mapi defended. "I am just going to see if anyone else has any observations..."

Ingrid sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Don't mention this to Alexia until you're sure something is going on, she'll freak out."

"I won't." Mapi promised, distracted. Ingrid walked away to talk to Frido, and Mapi immediately found Alexia standing with Irene, and marched over.

Ingrid abruptly stopped talking, watching as Mapi seemingly did exactly what she ahd told her not to do.

"What?" Frido asked, following Ingrid's eyes to where Mapi was standing with the captains.

"Mapi's convinced something happened with y/n and her girlfriend, and I told her not to say anything because you know how y/n gets, especially not to Alexia, and look. She's doing exactly what I said not to." Ingrid sighed, exasperated.

"I don't like that girl." Frido said, frowning at the mention of your girlfriend.

Ingrid threw her hands in the air. "No one does! That doesn't mean we have to get all up in y/n's business. The more we push, the less likely she is to listen to us."

"Alright, relax, I agree with you." Frido said. Ingrid glared at Mapi from across the pitch, the Spaniard very obviously avoiding eye contact with her girlfriend. Jona called them over to start a drill, then, and all conversations came to a halt. For now.

-----

You weren't oblivious to the increase of attention on you after talking to Lucy, but you were determined not to acknowledge it. Your teammates were stubborn, though; almost as stubborn as you. You were walking off the pitch at the end of training, towards the locker room, when Alexia and Mapi appeared on either side of you.

"How was your night last night?" Alexia asked innocently, looking at you out of the corner of her eye.

"Fine?" You asked, feigning confusion.

"Do anything fun?" Mapi wondered.

"No." You said, because you weren't sure you could even discuss your ex at this point. Lucy had brought it up before, and you'd barely made it through that brief conversation.

"Really?" Both girls said in unison. You rolled your eyes.

"Yes." You huffed, getting frustrated, and they could tell. Alexia grabbed your wrist, stopping you, and her and Mapi moved to stand in front of you, blocking your path inside.

"Lucy said you did something fun with your girlfriend?" Alexia asked, raising a hand to shield her eyes from the sun. Mapi's arms were crossed, and it really felt like you were in trouble.

"Yeah, we had dinner. Can I go now?"

"No, you're being weird. Did something happen?" Mapi said, stepping closer to you.

"Nope," you shook your head stubbornly.

"Pequeña, you seem upset," Alexia reached out a hand to rest on your shoulder, but you moved out of the way.

"I am not upset." Your voice was completely devoid of emotion, and Mapi and Alexia exchanged looks, not used to you acting so stand offish towards them.

"If something happened, you can tell us," Alexia stated, not deterred by your behavior.

"I don't even know why you care, you said you didn't want to hear if something happened." You scoff. Your face is one of anger, but your body language radiates sadness.

"When did I say that? I always want to know whats going on with you."

"Alexia, you told me not to come crying to you if you ended up being right about her." The blonde was speechless, absolutely stunned that you had taken that to heart.

"I wasn't being serious, y/n." She said quietly, somewhat gaining an understanding of why you were being so resistant to them. You remained quiet, gaze fixed on the grass under your feet.

"Seriously, pequeña, if something happened with you and your girl, you can tell us." Mapi cut in. You groaned, running a hand through your hair. You weren't getting out of this, you knew.

"We broke up. You guys were right. Happy?"

"I am so sorry, y/n." Alexia sighed, moving closer as if to pull you into a hug. Instead, you pushed in between her and Mapi, stalking towards the locker room.

"No you aren't. You don't have to pretend you care. You don't want to hear about it, and I don't want to talk about it." You snapped over your shoulder, ignoring the way they followed you, calling your name.

You made it inside the locker room, aggressively throwing your things into your bag, and stomping back out towards the parking lot, completely ignoring the way every member of the team was watching you, concerned. Alexia and Mapi stood in the door, once again blocking your path.

"Y/n, stop," Mapi said. The room was quiet as everyone watched the standoff.

"Move." You said through clenched teeth. You were blinking back tears, and Alexia and Mapi softened at the sight. You took your opportunity, shoving them out of your way, and walking out without a look backwards. This time, the girls didn't follow you out of the room, instead looking like they were at a complete loss for what to do. As you walked down the hall, you heard the unmistakable voice of Ingrid cutting through the silence.

"María, I TOLD you not to bother her." The room erupted into conversation, and you left the building, wiping angrily at the tears falling down your face.

-----

You made it home, showering and fighting the urge to just get in bed and fall into misery. Instead, you focused on de-girlfriend-ing your apartment. There wasn't much, as you'd only been together for a few months, but you'd filled a garbage bag of her stuff, and headed down to the dumpster. You threw the bag out, and it didn't bring as much satisfaction as you'd hoped it would. You walked back to the front door of the building, rather dejected, when a voice called out to you.

"Y/n, you haven't been answering any of my calls," your ex said, jogging to where you stood frozen by the door. "Hey, baby," she continued, wrapping her arms around you and trying to pull you in. You unfroze, shoving her off you.

"Don't touch me." You snarled, backing into the door.

"Don't be like that, you weren't supposed to hear any of what I said."

"Is that supposed to make it better?"

"You're being dramatic, y/n, stop being so sensitive. This is what I was talking about, you won't even have a mature conversation with me about this." The girl standing in front of you was completely unrecognizable, to you at least. You wondered if this was the person all of your teammates had seen.

"There's no conversation to be had. We're done. You are a horrible person, and I never want to see you again."

Her face contorted in anger. "Did your teammates tell you to do this? They're probably just tired of hearing you complain, y/n. They barely put up with you, you aren't going to find anyone other than me that will." She reached forward again, trying to hold onto your arm, and there wasn't any room behind you to back up. Her words felt like a slap to the face.

"Don't touch me," you said again, voice much weaker this time. You couldn't believe what she was saying; it was like she was a completely different person suddenly, yet she still knew you, and knew exactly what to say to hurt you.

"No, you're gonna hear what I have to say," she said, clearly frustrated with you standing up for yourself. Her hand closed around your wrist, and you prepared to pull away, to run, when another voice shouted out from not too far away.

"Get your hands off her," Mapi growled, coming from seemingly nowhere to shove your ex away from you. Her and Alexia stood, shoulder to shoulder, not unlike how they had earlier, glaring at the girl in front of them.

You jumped as a pair of arms wrapped around you, settling when you Ingrid stepped in front of you, bringing you in close to her chest. You clung to her, not really sure why you were so afraid. You knew your ex wouldn't have hurt you, but she really scared you when she'd tried to grab you, and you wanted nothing more than to be as far away from her as possible.

"You do not ever touch her again, understand? Or you will not enjoy what happens to you." Alexia warned, her voice angrier and more threatening than you'd ever heard it.

"Are you okay?" Ingrid asked, drawing your attention away from Alexia. You nodded shakily, gripping tightly onto Ingrid's sweater. She was blocking you from really seeing what was going on, positioned directly between you and your ex. You could still hear her though.

"Whatever," she scoffed. "She's not worth the trouble." Mapi made an angry noise, and Alexia started forward, but Ingrid's voice brought their focus back to you.

"She's not worth it. Let's get pequeña inside." The Norwegian said, shooting both girls a meaningful look. They watched your ex walk away, as you unlocked the front door, and headed towards the elevator. No one spoke as you stepped in, taking it up to your floor. They filed out of the doors after you, still silent, following you to your door.

"You don't have to stay." You said quietly, fiddling with the lock.

"We're staying." Alexia responded firmly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Her and Mapi were still practically radiating anger as they entered your apartment. Ingrid was angry to, you could tell, but she hid it better, focusing instead on getting you a glass of water. She handed it to you, as her and Alexia took seats in your living room. Mapi remained standing, whole body still tense. You sat, in the corner of the couch, bringing your knees up to your chest. Your teammates hated how small you were making yourself, how shaken you seemed.

"Are you okay pequeña?" Alexia asked after a minute, scooting closer to you on the couch.

"Fine." You said. You were fine. She wouldn't have hurt you, you knew that. Everything she said, though, did hurt. It felt like she'd picked out your biggest insecurities, and told you that they were true. You'd been vulnerable with her, more than you'd ever been with anyone else, and she'd used it against you the second she could. You weren't overly eager to share anything else, not right now. This wouldn't fly with your teammates, though, that much you knew. They'd come to apologize, probably, but they wouldn't leave until they were sure, absolutely sure, that you were okay. One word answers weren't going to convince them. "I'm fine, really. She startled me, that's all."

They didn't look convinced. You supposed that was fair; they'd need more than that.

"Seriously, I'm alright. I dodged a bullet, clearly."

"What she said..." Alexia started, but you stopped her, shaking your head.

"I really don't want to talk about it."

"Too bad." Alexia said.

"Ale," Ingrid said, shifting uncomfortably. The blonde ignored her.

"She is completely wrong, pequeña. We don't put up with you, y/n. We love you. We always want to hear what's going on with you, and what you have to say. You know that, don't you?"

You shrugged, really wishing they hadn't heard that part of the conversation.

"Can you tell us what happened with her?" Mapi said softly, finally taking a seat in the chair next to Ingrid. You hesitated, and it becomes very clear to them that you've internalized what they heard your ex say to you. "We want to hear, we want to help."

"I didn't mean what I said before, y/n. That because we warned you about her, we wouldn't be there if things went wrong. You could ignore every piece of advice I ever give you, and I'd still want to be there for you. Every time." Alexia cut in, resting a hand on your knee. You didn't shift away from her this time, which she took to be a good sign.

With a sigh, not meeting any of their eyes, you told them everything. Everything she'd said on the phone about you, the things that made your cheeks burn with humiliation, your stomach twist with anxiety. The words felt like they burned on the way out of your mouth, the fear that your friends would agree with them almost choking you. Of course, they didn't.

You'd barely finished talking when Mapi abruptly rose from her seat, hands clenched in tight fists and walked without a word into the kitchen. You looked after her, confused, but Ingrid just shook her head.

"She's angry, she just needs a minute."

You nodded slowly, trying to wrap your head around the fact that Mapi was so angry on your behalf that she could barely contain her feelings.

You looked to Alexia, her hand still resting on your knee, finding her deep in thought. She cleared her throat before speaking.

"You are right, pequeña, you definitely dodged a bullet. I am so sorry she said those things about you. None of them are true, not even one. You are a wonderful, thoughtful, kind person. You deserve so much better than her."

You nod your head weakly at her reassurance. You weren't convinced, but it made you feel better, if only marginally. Mapi reentered the room again, sitting not in the chair she was in earlier, but squishing herself into Ingrid's chair. It was always interesting to watch them together; wherever one of the struggled, the other picked them up, always, without a second thought. Ingrid scooched over in the chair, face unchanged and still fixed on you, wrapping an arm around her girlfriend and squeezing her shoulder comfortingly. Mapi visibly relaxed once her body was in contact with Ingrid's, like all of her muscles had un-tensed, and some of the anger was pushed out of her body.

That was how a relationship was supposed to be, you thought. You'd never felt more like an idiot in your entire life, yet still, your insecurities swirled around your head, and you felt like you were drowning in them.

"So you don't... you don't think she was right?" You ask in a small voice, peeking at the girls' faces. They all look shattered at your question, like it was causing them physical pain that you thought it possible that they didn't actually care about you, that you believed even a word of what that awful woman had said to you.

"No. She is completely, entirely wrong." Alexia said, sounding like she was pleading with you to believe her.

"I just thought she really liked me." You whispered, and it appears Alexia couldn't hold herself back anymore, moving closer and smooshing you into her arms. You cried softly into Alexia's sweatshirt, never having been more grateful in your life for anything, than you were in that moment that she was there, that all of them were there. Your captain wrapped you up safely in her arms, and the strength with which she held you did even more to convince you that she meant what she said; she wanted, more than anything, to be there for you.

"Voy a matar a esa puta." You heard Mapi declare. Alexia hummed in agreement against you.

"You're not going to kill anyone, María." Ingrid dismissed. "Not by yourself, and you'll have to beat me to it."

You looked up in surprise, seeing a satisfied grin on Mapi's face, and a fiery look on Ingrid's. If you ever wondered how 2 seemingly different people made a relationship work, you had your answer. Deep down, Ingrid could be just as protective, just as reckless as Mapi was when it came to people she loved.

You tried to pull away from Alexia, having stopped crying, but her arms only tightened around you.

"No, you are staying right here, where no one can ever make you sad again." Alexia said decisively. You stifle a laugh, but give up your attempts to escape. Your words come out slightly muffled when you speak again.

"Can you guys not tell everyone about what happened? They can know we broke up, but the whole team will just freak out if they know what she said, and I don't want to deal with that."

Ingrid and Alexia easily agree to your request, but Mapi remains silent. Finally, you do pull away from Alexia to stare suspiciously at the defender. Ingrid is tilting away from her girlfriend, an exasperated expression on her face.

"María, what did you do?" You asked. Mapi smiled sheepishly.

"I may have asked Lucy and Mario if they were free later to pay your ex a visit, and I also may have told them what we overheard."

"Mapi," you groaned.

"I didn't know you didn't want people to know! Besides, it will be easier to scare her away from you with more people. Especially those two!" You weren't impressed, but Alexia evidently was, a contemplative expression on her face.

"No, Ale, please don't let this happen," You begged, switching your attention to the normally more cool-headed individual.

"You can't go threaten that girl, no matter how much she deserves it." Alexia said, and Mapi deflated, a frown finding it's way onto her face. You sigh, relieved. "At least not right away. We'll give it a few weeks, until she lets her guard down."

"Alexia!" You yelped, and she simply smiles softly at you.

"No one messes with our pequeña. Ever." Alexia shrugged, relatively unbothered by your slight annoyance.

It wasn't actual frustration, though. You knew they were just joking around. Well everyone except for Mapi; she was definitely being serious. Regardless, it felt good to know they had your back; like further confirmation that they didn't feel at all how your ex had said they did. You should have listened to them from the beginning, but more than that, you should have never listened to your ex, not when everything your teammates did today, and everyday, proved her to be wrong.

-----

[noroi1000]

Yo, hear me out! Yandere Gojo and Geto x reader. Please make this happens, I love yanderes.

Where have you been?

Summary: Shoko asked you to come to her. You were in a hurry, and you forgot to let your boyfriends know. And they are obsessed with you. They are overprotective and also terribly jealous. You're supposed to spend time with them. Words: 2k

Warnings: yandere

You've had a hard day.

And it was all going to get even worse.

You knew exactly about the great jealousy of your boyfriends.

You were surprised that they somehow tolerated you being with them.

Since they were so jealous of everything.

These two were able to take your hands off your neighbors nice cat.

Because your hands can only stroke them. Only their bodies.

You've known them for a long time, and you didn't mind that it was. They love you. And you love them both. The fact that they are jealous and possessive shows that they care about you and are interested in what you do.

Even though they exaggerate sometimes...

Possessive, obsessed with your safety and where you go. Jealousy and other possessive and obsessive behaviors.

You still love them. You don't mind because it makes them both happy.

This makes them both provide you with love and happiness.

They're normal, loving guys until someone picks you up or you suddenly run away and they don't know where you've been.

That was right now.

You didn't mind that they told you to inform them every time you went somewhere.

Well, that makes sense. Because once you didn't tell them, they were standing outside the door waiting for you to come back because none of them took the keys to the house.

They have made your life pleasant and full of love.

It's not surprising that you've been in a long relationship with them already.

Compared to people who have normal relationships, yours is different. And not just because there are three people in your relationship.

When you came up with descriptions of "dere" people. And you've noticed that your boys display everything a "Yandere" person shows.

You liked anime so you didn't find it strange that you really saw it in them.

And it was true. That description perfectly described what they are.

Maybe people may have thought your relationship was toxic.

There was no betrayal or anything.

Their love was just obsessive.

But you weren't afraid. Because they love you. You didn't see anything wrong with it.

It was a sign that they love you so much.

That's why you knew you had to face their questions: where were you, why didn't you tell them?

Or what is always: who were you with?

They are jealous that you can spend time with someone else, and that someone can come much closer to you than they should. Especially a man.

You don't find their possessiveness toxic.

They care about you.

Sometimes a little too much.

And you want them to be happy.

Because the way they act sometimes can be scary.

Even if it looks like that, they won't hurt you. They might be pissed off or ask you about everything. Even if most have nothing to do with all of this.

You left the house today without a plan.

You don't work because they said you shouldn't work.

For them, you're supposed to sit at home and don't think about doing anything. You just need to be there with them.

You can't argue with them if what they say is better for you than what you say.

For example, if one of them tells you not to go to a very stressful place, when you say you have to go, they will tell you what is better for you.

It's as if they have some instinct telling them something is wrong.

They once told you that sometimes when you weren't home, they had a bad feeling.

Like when Shoko offered you drinks without telling you how much alcohol was in it, and you almost fell over on the way home, even though you weren't that drunk.

Or when they saw that you weren't feeling too well and then went shopping, they had a feeling that something might happen. That you'll pass out or feel bad enough to go to the hospital.

Even if it wasn't anything serious. It might have been a cold, but they were worried anyway.

Their jealousy and the whole "yandere" behavior stemmed mainly from their overprotectiveness.

And the fact that they could care for you and be your boyfriends turned into possessiveness that crosses borders already so much.

You are not afraid of them, even though they are so powerful. They would never hurt you.

They just want to keep you for them.

There's no way they're going to hurt you.

They will only give you all their love if you are completely theirs.

You've heard them say that you "belong to them" more than once.

Honestly, you don't feel bad in those words.

However, you were ready for all these questions from them, and again this possessive behavior when you were about to enter the house.

Shoko called you to come see her.

You thought something bad had happened. That's why you ran out of the house, even forgetting your phone to reach her.

Thus, you forgot to inform them.

When they saw you weren't home, they didn't know if they were pissed or disappointed.

Their only thought is to bring you back home as soon as possible.

They even thought you might have run away from them.

And that would be a blow to their heart.

Not just because you ran away from them. But also because they would have to drag you home and keep you there.

They wouldn't mind locking you in the house to come home from work every day and see you there. And you won't come out.

But for your sake, they wanted you to live with them voluntarily.

That's why they were happy when you said you loved them. And you showed it to them.

It was just great for them.

Say you're theirs and be with you every day. And you tell them straight out that you love them.

While you were away, they were paranoid.

They started imagining something.

Well, you were with Shoko.

She was going through something like a one-day existential crisis.

She was overworked, she was drunk and she was smoking her third pack of cigarettes when you came to her house.

She laughed, then spoke normally, then sounded like she was about to fall asleep.

Back then, her house wasn't a dream place to sleep.

The rooms were filled with cigarette smoke, the smell of which burned the nose so strongly that anyone who entered there could wince.

Shoko never smoked light cigarettes...

In order not to watch what she does with herself instead of sleeping, you did everything to make her relax and fall asleep.

Probably today was the day she wanted to get drunk, lie on the couch drunk and smoke cigarettes. Then go to work like a zombie.

You opened the windows in her house to get rid of the excess smoke. Even if the smell of cigarettes was still in the room, you at least wanted fresh air.

The smell of smoke is difficult to remove. That's why every time Suguru wants to smoke, you tell him to go to the balcony or outside.

You don't want your freshly laundered clothes to smell good. Even if one of your boyfriends doesn't smoke often. Because he's not addicted to it.

Not like Shoko has been for a while. When she quit smoking, it was different. And now she's back to it because she has fond memories of her smoking days.

You opened the windows of her house, gave her a lot of water and took the alcohol from her. And then you washed her face and neck with a damp washcloth until you finally took her to bed to let her go to sleep.

Then you started walking home. But you noticed that it was already late. Evening.

You knew you had to come home quickly.

Because you've already been in trouble.

You've been waiting for a long time in which you'll have to calm them down.

And when you pulled the handle to open the door, everything was open.

Which meant Satoru and Suguru were already home.

You sighed, knowing that the calm aura of the house was about to turn into something darker.

And to make it look better, you decided to call them.

"Satoru? Suguru?"

You looked around to see that the only light in the house was the one coming from the window that showed the sunset.

"Where have you been?"

You heard a voice and quickly turned around.

You saw Suguru standing next to the stairs from which Satoru was just coming down.

There was a can of soda in his hand, and he looked like he just got out of the shower. Hair loose and combed, clean clothes.

Satoru slumped against the stair railing, staring out the window.

They both weren't looking at you. They weren't smiling.

Suguru's hand went up, hooking his fingers on the sunbeams falling inside. Causing his fingers to be lit and the rest of his hand not.

"Did you have fun without us?" he asked, knowing the sun was going down. "It's sunset, you know? You haven't given us any message."

"Suguru, I'm sorry, I was rushing to see Shoko. I forgot my phone. And she called me so urgently. I thought something happened to her."

"Couldn't you text us before you left?" Satoru asked suddenly. Looking at you with cold blue eyes.

"I'm sorry... If I wasn't in a hurry, I'd definitely do it..." You said quietly, and walked over to Suguru, wanting to hug him. But you didn't know if he would let you..

Against all odds, he set his drink down the stairs behind him, and placed his hands on your shoulders.

Which meant you could hug him.

"I understand that could be the case. Besides, Shoko wrote to me that you will be staying with her. However, we believe you more than anyone else." he said hugging you tight. Enough to make you feel a little overwhelmed. It was still a nice hug though. "Satoru is less calm. Because he only found out about it an hour ago when he came home."

"Satoru." You muttered with your cheek pressed against Suguru's chest.

"I thought you ran away." He said with his arms folded across his chest. "Looking for you wouldn't be so much trouble... However, how would you feel if I took you back home by force?"

You looked at the floor.

You really shouldn't upset them.

"Here is your place. With us. And unfortunately, you can't leave whenever you like."

"You are ours. You will not belong to anyone else. Only us."

You smiled slightly at Satoru to see how his face changed.

And he, seeing your smile, came closer with a relaxed face.

You don't mind how they behave. Just do not.

His hands cupped your body, hugging you from behind. They held you gently but possessively. Showing you that they care about you. That they love you.

You may even be afraid of it when they are like this. However, your one smile is enough to calm them down.

They won't let you go. But your one smile, and they don't need to worry.

Because when you smile, it means you're happy.

Their faces were on your arms.

Their lips pressed against your neck on either side.

Even though they were hugging you, you felt their bodies pressing against you. Their warmth.

You only flinched as their teeth bit into your neck.

And you only heard two sounds in your ears. Two voices whispering to your heart.

"You belong to us... And it always will be like this... We're not mad at you, but how about we lock you up here with us now. That you can't go out. And for the next few hours, you won't be able to move away from us."

[creativewritersposts]

fucked up - Nico Hischier

summary; Nico Hischier x reader.

The honest opinion from a person you really like can hurt the most. But what if Nico regrets it?

warning(s); bad language, angst, argument, fluff, maybe grammar errors

author's note; based on a true story. I'm sorry for not posting "happy-clappy fluff imagines" like usually (promise they'll come back soon). I can't write just pure fluff when I'm crying a river.

--------------------------------------------------------------

It's the third day in a row that Nico doesn't want to talk with you. You can't explain why, but your stomach feeling tells you, something is not okay. You tried to distract yourself with work, work and more work. But when you step in your apartment, you're mentally break down. Your overthinking says hello. You grab your phone, trying to call him, just his mailbox.

"What did I do wrong", you mumble to yourself, biting on your lip. It's rainy outside, like how you feel. You're starring at other people out of the window, until your phone vibrates. "hello?", you start the conversation without looking on the screen, who it is. "it's Nico, are you at home?", his voice sounds deep and kinda annoyed, "yes", you smile, happy to hear he's alive. "Ok bye", he hangs up without a second. You stress yourself to cook a nice dinner in an hour until the door bell rings. "hi baby!", you want to wrap your arms around his neck, but he pushes you politely away, "we need to talk, something is bothering me", his brown eyes let you feel confused, he never been so serious. You nod and let him walk in your kitchen. "I cooked dinner for us two", you smile to blow the negative vibes away. "Do you think dinner will change the fact you act exaggerate?!", his tall body turns around because he stands before you. "huh?", you're even more confused. "We're not together and you stress me out", he tolerates no argument whilst speaking. Honestly you're not able to argue. It's like a punch in your face. "what did I do?", you feel so small. Even when he told you this in a respectful way. "you stress me out. You want to text non-stop and you're not my girlfriend, not yet. After last night with five text messages I'm thinking if it's a good idea to ask you for that", Nico grabs your shaky hands,"it's not like I'm not interested anymore", he kisses your forehead. You're just able to nod and accept the fact. What he needs and wants.

"Thank you for telling me this", your fake smile shows sadness. Nico doesn't want to hurt you on purpose. "I'll pack in the pesto for you", with blurry eyes you do that, giving him the lunch box. Nico just stays calm, taking it and when you close the door behind you, he thinks of hoping you understood what he meant.

The next days your chest feels heavy, texting no message, you don't call him, you let him his freedom. You know Nico lost the finals of the world championship, he looked so disappointed and usually you would at least send him something lovely, but your brain tells you; you were clingy. You're the problem. You're a bad Person for bothering someone. You don't enjoy being a clingy girl.

In the middle of night your phone vibrates again, like ten times until you groan, you're not in the shape to talk happy phone calls. "hey, are you ok?", his voice sounds occupied. "Sure", you reply. "You didn't text me once. I'm worried. We lost", he let you know the news. Of course you're not saying that you watched his game. Like he gave you a clear message. You would be clingy you're not his girlfriend and he owes you nothing.

"I'm sorry to hear that", your hands shake again. You don't feel comfortable anymore, more like you have to hide your personality to be not the problem anymore. "I didn't mean that I don't like to talk with you", he coughs. "I really like you anyway as a person who you are", he talks more. "I'm tired, good night", hanging up until he can hear how much you're hurt. Just thoughts hunting you in your head;

what are you doing now?

What is the right way to deal with this?

[painted-bees]

Raf's amount of self awareness and the amount of time he spends analyzing himself in his own head seemed a little far fetched until I got to the part about his past relationships and how badly things went despite having started therapy back then. It makes a lot more sense that he didn't get to this level of awareness and grace until way later after years of working on himself. But I really want to know how his relationship with Margie might have gone if he was less aware?

Oh, fun question lmao Assuming he never sees his behavior as something that he needs to work on: I think Margie's impulse to be honest and straightforward, and to wear her emotions on her sleeves would still have likely gotten her past his defenses and into a close relationship. But the closer/more important someone becomes to Raf, the more and more reactive/mercurial/mean he'd get. Those close relationships--the ones he treasures most--are the ones that pose the highest level of danger. They're the ones who'd hurt him the most if they betrayed him. Coupled with Margie's conflict-averse instinct to wilt, roll over, and apologize before considering if she'd even done anything wrong--we'd have likely seen a much more possessive and controlling Raf. We don't see that in his relationship with Lacey, because Lace would often bite back twice as hard, and was able to [very aggressively] assert boundaries with him. Margie, tho--so long as he kept encouraging and enabling her to make music, and providing warm, enthusiastic support on that front, she'd be easily convinced to change any behavior he didn't like--under the pretense that she was working on becoming a better, easier person to live with. I think, tho--if there ever arose a moment where he asserted that she couldn't pursue a music/career-related opportunity (that didn't require his involvement), if he threatened to take back all the 'nice things' he's given her as a tool of punishment/manipulation, or if he started discouraging her from vising friends or family--and if she couldn't reason with him on that front/it consistently resulted in a big argument every time--she'd end the relationship. She was, at least, raised well by her mother to identify that kind of situation as a 'get out now' 0 tolerance red flag of abuse. And--you know...if she had to do that, I think this would be the event that sees her move back home with her parents. Emotionally and psychologically, she'd lose a lot to this relationship. She'd need her family to help center herself again. Otherwise, Raf would likely sabotage the relationship for himself, and break things off with her over some catastrophic misunderstanding or another--where he is just unable and unwilling to hear her out and take her word at face value. But if certain lines are never crossed; if Margie learns to stifle/bury her excited impulses and exist as quietly as she is able to, and if Raf is able to pull himself back from enacting on paranoid compulsions just enough, he and Margie would probably find a tenuous but """comfortable""" stasis. Like with any relationship, they'd have moments both good and bad, catastrophes that maybe only resolve themselves for the convenience of it rather than out of a proper understanding, as well as tender moments of joyful whimsy, when the circumstances were right for it, that'd serve to remind them of why they're together in the first place and help bolster the staying-power of their relationship. But it'd all be balanced...very differently. They'd be a lot less fun, I think. Margie would have never suggested going to Cortes Island. She'd have been reluctant to suggest much at all. Raf would be stuck with the persistent suspicion that she resented him--and yanno--she might. But not for the reasons he'd think.

[floydira]

I saw your request rules and I was wondering if you could do yandere Velvet? If not that's perfectly fine, take as much time as you need!

₊˚﹒✶﹒trolls headcanons .ᐟ

yandere velvet headcanon.

warning ; yandere behavior, mention of killing, obsessive behavior, all that jazz

her obsession with you started when she first met you. you are close with the two superstar siblings, velvet and veneer.

you had something that other people didn't have. that is, you could be straightforward and blunt with her without sugarcoating anything.

sure, she absolutely HATES criticism but coming from you, you just have something that makes it easier to tolerate for her.

after finishing her performance, she always comes to you to ask for your thoughts.

"how was it? I was amazing, wasn't I?" velvet would come to you with her smug tone.

if you give her praises and compliments, best believe she's going to be remembering that shit for life until she dies. hearing a compliment from you makes her kick her feet and giggle like a fangirl despite her being the superstar.

of course since you're close with the siblings, you talk to veneer a lot too. she loathed that. it's visible on her face too.

as much as she liked her brother(not much...), she'd rather he disappear just so she could hoard all your attention to herself.

she'll threaten veneer to stay away from you. knowing him, he'll definitely back off.

noticing veneer's distance from you, you wanted to come up to ask him why he's distancing himself from you or what's wrong, but velvet stopped you before you could.

"why are you going to him? don't you want to hangout with me?"

she'll give you her biggest puppy eyes.

she'll do all kinds of manipulative tactics to keep you by her side at all times.

she'd gaslight you into thinking you only need her.

"I have all the fame, money and love that you need, darling. can't you see that I'm the only one who cares for you? I take care of you, I keep you safe and love you dearly. who else would do that for you?"

once her manipulative tactics work, she'll grin evilly in front of the mirror.

"oh how I love being me!"

she has eyes on you, always. If you're going out with someone, talking to someone or just doing something in general, she'll know.

she'll pay professional paparazzis to secretly take photos of you. she'll threaten them if they ever try to tell anyone about her doing.

sometimes she'll pop out of nowhere and come up to you, especially if you're hanging out with someone else, as if she ended up meeting you by coincidence.

"oh! how nice to see you here, sweetie! who's...that imbecile little speck of dust?" she'll cheerily greet you before glaring at the person with you and looking them up and down with disgust on her face.

"why didn't you invite me along? don't tell me...is it because you're starting to hate me?!" she'll act like she's hurt and upset dramatically to guilt trip you.

spoils you a LOT. anything you want, she'll give it to you. "anything for you, dearie." she'll say with a lovesick look in her eyes.

if you come to watch her performances, she'll stare at you so obviously through the crowd. her eyes are all on you. as if her reason to perform is you, yourself. as if the performance itself is made for you.

she sees you as like a treasure, she needs you. she'll do anything to get you wrapped around her finger.

she's touchy, super touchy. she'll subtly put her hand around your waist, sit on your lap, lay her head on you, whatever she can to have a sense of your touch with hers.

she'll plan her way of asking you out, extravagantly. once she does, you're going to be swept off your feet. there is no way you're able to say no.

once you're official, she's all up on you. way more than she used to be. quite literally trapping you in her arms.

she has punishments for you if you do something she doesn't like.

"how unfortunate of you, sweetie...it's too bad you got too close with them. I'll have to punish you."

her punishments include some sharp carvings on your skin, mostly her name carved onto your skin.

overall, she's deathly obsessed with you and will kill you and herself included, if you ever try to leave her.

"I love you, I love you, oh I love you so much! you won't ever leave me right? don't ever leave me."

[diagonal-queen]

hii! can i request hunting dogs with clumsy s/o?

Hunting Dogs with a clumsy S/O

♡ pairing: Fukuchi Ouchi, Jouno Saigiku, Tecchou Suehiro, Teruko Okura, Tachihara Michizou x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: What are the Hunting Dogs like with an S/O who's clumsy?

♡ cw: Swearing, mentions of getting hurt/bumping into things/getting accidental cuts, mention of alcohol

note: It's been a while since I actually posted some proper writing. I genuinely do apologise you guys- there's not really any good excuse for me taking as long as I have. Long work hours and bad home life combined have me absolutely fuckin spent, but I know that's also the case for other writers who still manage to produce work on at least a semi-regular basis. I just wanna try and get on top of some of my reqs that've been gathering dust in my drafts lmao. Thank you guys for your support and I love you all <3 apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Fukuchi:

I'm gonna be so real with you right now bro literally doesn't care

Like he gives absolutely no fucks that you're clumsy. Fuck you could trip into one of his many barrels of alcohol and fully destroy it and he just wouldn't even be mad

He'd just help you up and be like 'ah you're so cute when you trip over and faceplant and destroy my stuff <33' (probably not that far from verbatim to be honest)

I genuinely don't know what else to tell you other than 'he doesn't care', because he doesn't. Any mess you make, he'll have it cleaned up. Any precious item you break, he'll just replace it.

His only real concern is you somehow hurting yourself, but even then he's not really that worried because he'll find some insanely talented doctor to fix you right up. It wouldn't be an inconvenience for him at all

(Fukuchi IS a sugar daddy and nobody except me has ever acknowledged it and it's lowkey bothering me like c'mon be so for fucking real guys)

All this being said, he probably wouldn't let you carry something extremely valuable like amenogozen (not like he would let you carry it anyway, but your clumsiness does contribute to his overprotectiveness of that stupid dumbass sword)

As always, he will get pissed if anyone else gives you a hard time for your clumsiness

Your whole dynamic is basically just Ozzie and Fizz lowkey

He really just lets you do your thing honestly, he doesn't care whether it's imperfect or whatever. If you're clumsy, then clumsiness is automatically cute tf

Jouno:

Jouno's like the total opposite of clumsy, literally every particle of his being is perfectly coordinated at all times

So he might be upset at first to learn that your motor skills aren't as up to scratch as his are.

You need to remind him that hey, how does he expect a regular ass person to measure up to a genetically modified super soldier? (which is a totally fair argument that even he doesn't rebut)

And after some consideration he's like 'okay fair' and tries to get used to your clumsiness. Keyword being 'tries'; he's not always perfect at tolerating it, but he's doing his best and that's what counts

If you're the kind of person who curses when you stub your toe (or god forbid that thing where you bump your hipbone on the corner of the table for some reason), he's totally cool with that. He's fully okay with swearing

He just doesn't really like when you randomly yell or cry out in pain really loudly/right near him because of the auditory overload

If you cry he will take the time to calm you down and kiss whatever part of your body you hurt better (pretends to hate it but absolutely doesn't)

Uses your clumsiness as an excuse to hold your hand when you guys go out together <3 he also likes feeling your pulse speed up when he touches you

Will randomly pull you in certain directions while you guys are out walking and when you're like 'why?' he'll be like 'you were about to walk into a pole sweetheart' then you turn back around and yeah he was right

Tecchou:

One of my favourite versions of Tecchou is aloof himbo Tecchou so that's what we're going with. Anyways he would be like '...just stop dropping things tf'

It doesn't take him that long to accept that fact that sometimes you're just clumsy without being able to control it and he probably shouldn't trust you with dangerous or fragile object

It probably secretly annoys him a bit at first but he doesn't wanna make you feel bad about

His attention quickly turns to prioritising your safety, so ultimately he doesn't really care

He's really strong so a lot of the time if you have to carry something heavy he just offers to carry it instead. Not only will he be saving you from back pain but he may also potentially be preventing your toes from being shattered under the weight of whatever you would have been carrying

Tecchou would want to cook for you to keep you away from all the kitchenware and appliances, but you don't let him because you know he'll whip up something absolutely abhorrent. Even if you sometimes get nicked with knives or touch hot pans, it's better than eating his food (sorry Tecchou)

He wouldn't want you to leave your place on your own if the weather is rainy or something because that means the pavement/ground is slippery (if you ask him to carry you the chance of him saying yes is surprisingly high actually)

If you ever bump into him, he'll act nonchalant about it but he would be blushing and sweating and shaking and panicking and screaming crying throwing up hyperventilating fanboying dying

Teruko (platonic):

Like most...general traits that a human could have, Teruko would probably make fun of you for it at first

Eventually her teasing would become more lighthearted and silly instead of genuine, but if anyone else tried to bully for you it it's on SIGHT

Teruko can be clumsy sometimes, but more often than not it's just harmless things like carrying a stack of documents and not making sure to secure it so that sheets of paper don't fly off the top

When it comes to her physical strength and combat everything she does is very intentional and coordinated. If you see her actively being clumsy she probably really does not care about what she's doing lol

She's the kind of person to do dart and knife throwing for fun but if you're even in close range of a blade she freaks out and worries that you're gonna fatally wound yourself somehow

If you do end up getting hurt she'll help fix up your injury, like cleaning wounds or bandaging you up or whatever, but she'll chide you about it the whole time (she's hiding the fact that she's secretly super concerned for you)

Absolutely has a phone recording of you tripping and eating shit and always threatens to send it to people unless you buy her food or something like that lmao

Unlike Jouno or Tecchou she's a little bit of a prick and doesn't warn you when you're about to bump into something and then laughs when you bump into said something

I mean she won't let you get hurt hurt but also seeing people get hurt is funny sometimes lmao

Tachihara:

Let's not pretend that this motherfucker isn't also a clumsy bastard

C'mon the two of you are constantly tripping over your own feet let alone each other's feet. You're an accidental chaotic dual MESS

I mean Tachihara is a little less clumsy than you, being a Hunting Dog and all, but if he's sleep-deprived or drunk or something like that he is a literal safety hazard. He definitely doesn't realise how much of a unit he is

As such, he doesn't really mind that you're also clumsy. If you drop things or whatever he doesn't get upset, just helps you pick/clean them up like the sweetheart he is

Also tries to catch you if you trip over (his success rate is improving steadily) but may also fall over in the process so you never really know

He uses his metal manipulation to keep you from getting hurt. If you're in the kitchen and you're about to drop a pot on the ground he catches it before it lands on your feet. Is he really your man if he doesn't use supernatural abilities to keep you from dropping shit

Pretty much every room in the house is stocked with bandaids just in case. You guys almost always have tons of matching ones, along with bruises and random little sores that you have no memory of attaining

Again, if you're the type of person who swears when you stub your toe, the absolute horrific vulgar language that comes out of Tachihara's mouth when he stubs his toe puts you to SHAME

You're as equally concerned for his wellbeing as he is for yours. You both take good care of each other's physical health where you can

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl

[pocketjoong]

ATEEZ REACTIONS TO YOUR FRIEND ABANDONING YOU AFTER THEY FIND AN S/O | ot8 x reader

GENRE | reaction, headcanons, angst, fluff

WARNINGS | Kinda sad. Mentions of bad friends. Mentions of friends abandoning you and acting like you don’t exist anymore. Self-indulgent. Lmk if I missed something.

NOTES | Just a little something bc I’m kinda sad and angry lol. These are based on a situation I found myself in recently, and this is how I’m coping ig lol.

Hongjoong

☆ Hongjoong is furious, but he reigns in his anger and instead, focuses on being there for you. That doesn’t mean that he will not express his frustration at your so-called “friend, though. He will definitely tell you what your friend did is wrong and that you deserve to be treated better.

☆ Hongjoong says things you want to hear in such a situation and validates your feelings of hurt, anger, and confusion. But, he also says things that you need to hear, telling you things like, “Don’t let other people’s actions define your self-worth. You are an amazing person, and you should not let someone like that make you feel like you were a bad friend.”

☆ If you want to, he will help you write a diss track so that you can channel your frustration and anger into something that will allow you not to feel sorry for yourself.

☆ By the end of this little collaboration, as you watch Hongjoong's proud smile from where he's seated in front of the studio equipment on the other side of the window, you will definitely feel a teensy bit better.

☆ If he has a personal SNS account (and if your “friend” follows him in said account), he'll post a bunch of pictures of you both enjoying convenience store snacks and of you laughing with a passive-aggressive caption. Something like, “Some friendships are like a bag of chips in the aisle of a convenience store—they're there one moment and gone the next. But our friendship is a timeless classic, always on the shelf, waiting to be enjoyed, and never going out of style.”

Seonghwa

☆ Seonghwa is going to be angry, too, but he prioritises your well-being and emotions above all else. 

☆ So, as much as he wants to have a word with your “friend”, he lets it go in favour of hugging you as you cry out the feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal that have been building inside of you. Seonghwa rocks you back and forth in his arms, gently patting your back and handing you tissues when needed. He even makes sure to have a bottle of water nearby and prompts you to drink some from time to time so you don't get dehydrated.

☆ When you’re done crying, he wraps you in his softest blankets with a mischievous grin and brings out snacks before turning on the TV and watching sappy movies with you.

☆ If you’re not in the mood to watch movies, expect him to bring out a new Lego set for both of you to build together, seizing the opportunity to create a relaxing atmosphere so you’re distracted from your pain.

☆ While the two of you work on building the set, he makes funny sounds with a character he has finished and acts all goofy, especially when you become too silent or daze off. Sometimes, he smiles at you sweetly, gently encouraging you and reminding you that he is there for you, no matter what.

Yunho

☆ When Yunho learns that your friend has basically abandoned you, his protective instincts kick in. He is positively murderous, and he is very vocal about how he feels about your friend acting like a jerk.

☆ “How dare that idiot act like this?!” His words might be coloured with anger, but he really wants you to know that he stands firmly by your side and that he won't tolerate anyone mistreating you.

☆ He will drive you around the city because he knows how much a change of scenery can help and also because you love driving with no particular destination in mind. Yunho plays soothing music at first, slowly changing the mood of the songs until both of you are basically screaming the lyrics to Guerrilla as you drive past the city streets.

☆ If by any chance you happen to cross paths with your friend while you are out with Yunho, he does everything in his power to gently guide you away (ideally, you don't even notice said “friend” as Yunho jokes around, gently guiding you to his car while blocking your view of them).

☆ If he’s alone, though, he definitely confronts your friend. He uses his intimidating presence to subtly tell them that he doesn’t approve of what they did, “If I ever see you near y/n, I'll make sure you never have your kneecaps.” His words hang heavy in the air as he walks away, a stark reminder that he is willing to go to great lengths to protect you from any harm.

Yeosang

☆ Yeosang will be there for you, but silently. He gives you time and space to process your feelings, but he is there as a quiet yet reassuring presence because he won't leave you on your own when you need someone to be there. But he also waits for you to go to him and talk when you are ready.

☆ Though Yeosang doesn't push you to share your feelings, his presence gives you the comfort you need. Him just bring there serves as a reminder that you don’t need to face this painful situation on your own.

☆ His care for you manifests in subtle ways: snack delivery, random funny text messages, or him telling you something ridiculous the other members did. But the most noticeable thing is that he is around a lot more.

☆ He makes sure that you know he’s available for hanging out or just talking. He will mention it in passing that he’s free lately and use his busy schedule in the past few months as an excuse to see you. He arrives at your door, smiling widely, “I was free, and I haven't seen you in a while because of the tour. So, I wanna hang out. Let's get fried chicken?” (And how can you say no when he asks so nicely?)

San

☆ San is also very livid at how your friend treated you and is one of the members to let you know his take on the matter. His first reaction is to confront your friend directly. You will have to stop him from calling the friend or marching up to their house to give them a piece of his mind. You can feel his simmering anger as you tell him to let it be, but he agrees with your wishes (reluctantly).

☆ When it comes to comforting you, he provides you all the emotional support you need, letting you cry in his arms. But he also says cheesy things like, “Why are you crying over someone who doesn't know the difference between a gem and a lump of coal?” His attempt at being funny elicits a weak smile from you, causing him to smile as well.

☆ San is also someone to take you out on a surprise outing to stargaze, especially if he knows that a meteor shower is supposed to take place. As you both are laid out on the blanket, watching the stars, he softly reminds you of your worth. “You know, you shouldn’t waste tears on meteors that pass through your life when you have a bunch of stars in your galaxy.”

Mingi

☆ Mingi is sad when he learns about how your friend had treated you, and he is genuinely concerned despite his awkward attempts to comfort you.

☆ He pats your head or your shoulder as you cry, but at the same time, says something deep like, “I know you have a kind heart and that this situation has hurt you, but some people don’t deserve the love you carry within you.”

☆ Instead of assuming, he directly asks you what you need and how he can help, and he does it with no questions asked. Even if that means he has to pay unreasonable shipping to get you your favourite chocolates as soon as possible.

☆ He also orders takeout so that he knows that you’re eating properly and then puts on an old comedy show he knows you have watched countless times. By the time the sun sets, the weight on your shoulders lifts and you find yourself quoting the show line-for-line with Mingi while laughing into the night.

Wooyoung

☆ Wooyoung goes attack-mode but also protect-mode because he’s not one to let anyone mistreat someone he cares about.

☆ In attack mode, he calls your friend and tells them exactly what he thinks of them. He won't hold back, and says something like, “Don't mess with me. Because I can and will make your life hell, and I'm not scared of people like you who think it’s okay to treat people badly, especially if they have treated you with nothing but kindness.” His words, though playfully exaggerated, are stern enough to deliver the warning to your friend.

☆ Then, because he knows how much you are hurting, he does everything to comfort you. He cooks your favourite meal, knowing the recipe like the back of his hand. While cooking, he cracks jokes, hoping to get you to smile.

☆ With the meal prepared and the table set, Wooyoung opens a bottle of soju, and lets you get tipsy enough to relax. He listens as you say not-so-nice things about your friend, allowing you to vent without judgment. And if you are feeling up to it, he might put on some music and dance goofily, smiling when you laugh and encouraging you to join him.

Jongho

☆ Jongho, like Yeosang, is a silent supporter. He gives you the space you need to process your emotions but also lets you know that he is there. “I’m here whenever you want to talk or if you need anything.”

☆ He will be the pillar when you need him to be. Jongho lets you curl up next to him even though he’s not very fond of skinship and eventually starts humming under his breath, and when he notices you relaxing, sings gentle melodies to lull you to sleep. He smiles to himself when he feels the way you relax against him, forgetting the hurt, even if for a little while.

☆ To alleviate some of the pain and anger that you are feeling, he makes witty jokes and humorous comments to lighten the mood. In a moment of lightheartedness, Jongho might playfully break an apple in two pieces and hold it up for you to see, saying, “Hey, isn't this,” and show you the two pieces of the apple, “that idiot who let go of one of the most amazing friends he could ever get?”

[erikatsu]

MARY ON A CROSS ⋆.ೃ࿔* ═ IL DOTTORE

PAIRING .•°•▹ DOTTORE X FEM!READER

SUMMARY .•°•▹ you could hardly ever get dottore to take some time away from his studies without a little convincing.

WARNINGS .•°•▹ p.orn w plot. dottore lore spoilers. reader is ill. oral (reader!receiving). biting (dottore). fingering (reader!receiving). unprotected sex. pet names (pet, little one). light cervix fucking. slight dacryphilia. dumbification. multiple/stacked orgasms. creampie.

TAGS .•°•▹ @dottores @dxlucs @mxnjiros @myalbedo @suyacho @alucrds @niicevibe

“why don't you come to bed?” your tired voice broke through the silence. you walked up behind him, pausing as you let out a small yawn. you weren't entirely surprised to find him here in the middle of the night. he could go days without sleeping, and there were some nights you had to drag him away from his work to make him take better care of himself. 

you wrapped your arms over his shoulders, resting your cheek on top of his head as you caught a glimpse of all the papers spread out before him. this was driving him mad, it had been for quite some time now. 

“i can't figure out what i'm missing,” he absentmindedly leaned back into your touch. “nothing about this disease makes sense.”

he could go on about all the stem cell research results, and blood samples, and how even though most medicine can be made from the sickness itself, no preventative drug he tried to create worked. but he knew you wouldn't understand a lick of what he said. which was fine. he didn't need you to be as adverse in academics and biology as him, he just needed you to have a fighting chance. 

you sighed, slowly bringing your hand up and gently combing your fingers through his hair, “you can figure it out tomorrow, zandik. let your mind rest for a while.”

“no,” he leaned forward, pulling away from you. this was always the same argument, but this time was… different. somehow, he could tell you were frowning, feeling a little hurt by his actions. “at least, not yet. i just… need some more time.”

you took a step back, about to grumble out a response and head back to your room when he turned around in his chair. he reached out, wrapping his hand around your wrist and pulling you onto his lap. 

dottore knew you just wanted some of his attention, and he knew he got easily lost in his own projects. how could he not when your life was on the line? sure, current medication was enough to keep your illness controlled, but you were still easily fatigued and had little to no feeling in certain places. not only was that a hindrance to your job within the fatui, he hated seeing you when the illness was at its worst. he hated it because he felt utterly useless. he had so much research and time dedicated to finding a potential cure, yet he had nothing to show for it. and because of that, he found it hard to be around you. like he wasn't worthy of it until he succeeded. 

you wrapped your arms around his neck, resting your head on his shoulder as he turned back to his desk. you were comfortable with this, just being close to him after feeling like he hadn't been around for ages. he wasn’t one for physical affection, except for these rare occasions when he knew you weren't feeling good or when you felt lonely, and that was if the two of you were completely alone. which, you understood. 

his whole life he had been looked at as different, odd. he didn't liked to be touched all the time, he liked his personal space. he was very detail oriented and articulate. he noticed immediately when something had changed. he liked things that didn't make sense, especially once he was able to understand them. he'd been run from his own home for taking an interest in things that didn't belong to this world. even after being accepted into the akademiya, he was still looked down on despite his potential and capabilities. after a series if tragic and bad accidents, he was wrongfully accused of murdering the only person who could tolerate him. 

you never once judged him for who he was or his past. you saw the man underneath the mask and he never once scared you. you didn't make him feel like he was some sort of freak of nature or outcast. you made him feel human when no one else had. because he wasn't a monster– he never had been– but he had done terrible things and he walked the edge so gracefully. if he ever lost you, he'd surely topple over. 

it amazed him to know that you could easily curl up in his lap and fall asleep even though you knew he had blood on his hands. he wasn't sure how you felt safe lying beside him after knowing everything he's done, and if he was being entirely honest it's what drew him to you. your lack of fear and your not necessarily forgiving nature, but your “if it didn't affect you then who were you to judge” mindset. 

it's not like you were completely innocent either. you'd done bad things too, it was part of your job. although, you'd never gone as far as he had. he'd been branded a mad man, a monster. and yeah, maybe he was mad and had no regard for human life but yours, but you never tried to change him. you didn't have to agree with the atrocities he's committed, and the fact that you hadn't left him yet told him you were a little off your rocker as well. he enjoyed that, sometimes a little too much. 

maybe that's what made him feel so euphoric around you. you were someone who could swallow insane ideas and spit ones out that were even more wild. like the time you tried to catch and tame a wild rishboland tiger after he simply mused about if it would hard be to do so when you two had once observed them for your own entertainment. 

“still stuck?” your sleepy voice broke him from his thoughts, you breath warm against his skin. 

he thought you'd fallen asleep, but you were wide awake and just sitting in silence. he glanced down at you, an amused chuckle leaving him, “shouldn't you be asleep, brat?”

“don't want to,” you murmured, even though your eyes were closed and you sounded exhausted. “wanna spend time with you.”

“you're such a pest,” he grumbled, knowing that any argument about how sleeping was important would be thrown back in his face. the last thing he wanted was to hear you gloat and get your way. he'd never hear the end of it.

you huffed in annoyance as he leaned forward, going back to scribbling down notes. you shifted, trying to get somewhat comfortable again before biting back a yawn, not wanting him to see through your previous little white lie. you were tired, you had been all day, but you could always catch up on sleep tomorrow. 

dottore paused, your movements distracting him. you settled back into the crook of his neck, your eyes slowly closing once again. he felt his skin get hot as all he could bring his attention back to was the way your breath hit his neck. for a brief moment he tried to pass it off as the humidity of the forest creeping in, but he knew he was only fooling himself. especially once you realized why he was no longer writing down notes.

he could feel your playful smirk, and it suddenly dawned on him that you were only in one of his button up shirts. whether it was intentional or on purpose, you'd officially succeed in drawing his mind away from work. you let out a small giggle, pressing your lips to his skin. 

he inhaled sharply before leaning back, dropping his pen and roughly grabbing your chin. you were still smug as he made you look at him, and he scoffed, “you're such a little minx.”

before you could respond, he pulled you in for a searing kiss. you moved your mouth against his, almost sighing in relief at the feeling. you had missed this, him. you knew he was dedicated to his studies and that he would do anything for you, but you'd rather enjoy the time you had with him. and even though he would never admit it, he missed you too. he wasn't one for pointless words and confessions. he let his actions speak for him. it was obvious in the way he savored how you tasted.

he slowly slipped his hand up your shirt– his shirt– and cupped your breast before gently toying with your nipple. you whined against his lips, eliciting a light smile from him in response. he always loved how you responded to him. just the smallest of touches could have you squirming, and he relished in all the little noises you'd make. 

he couldn't get enough of you, deepening the kiss and letting the hand on your chin fall to grip your hip with force. you let out a gasp, giving him the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. his hand on your waist glided over your skin, stopping to rub at your clit over the fabric of your underwear. 

you moaned, your body tingling everywhere he was touching you. your head spun as he teased you, making you feel intoxicated even though you hadn't had a drop of liquor. you barely even noticed when he moved to stand, hoisting you up with him. you instinctively wrapped your legs around his torso, refusing to break away from him as he carried you out of the lab and to his office. 

dottore laid you down on the couch, pulling away from you. he trailed kisses down your jaw, to your neck, briefly pausing to suck and graze his teeth over your skin. he worked the buttons on the oversized shirt you were wearing, causing you to shiver once he let the fabric fall away from your torso. he made his way down your body, nibbling and biting along the way. your breaths were sharp, airy as he gripped the band of your underwear with his teeth and slowly pulled them down your legs. 

“naughty,” he clicked his tongue, pushing your thighs apart and settling himself in between them. he dipped his head down, running his tongue along your folds before glancing back up at you. “soaked already.”

you whined as he rolled his tongue over your clit, suctioning his mouth around it. your thighs pressed against his ears, the glass of his earring cold against your warm skin. you closed your eyes, focusing on the tingling that ran up your legs and spread throughout your body. you raked your hand through his hair, curling locks around ur fingers as you tried to push him further into you.

he brought his hand up, giving no warning as he slipped a finger into your dripping cunt, a cry falling off your lips at the sudden sensation. your legs shook, back arching as the nerves built up to the sweet release. he could tell by the grip you had on him that you were close. he pushed another finger into you, using a driving force to push you closer to the edge. 

his teeth grazed your sensitive bud, a low groan escaping you while you panted. your eyes rolled back as he curled his fingers, dragging them in and out with a wicked pace that had whimpers falling out of your mouth as you finally clenched around him. he flicked his tongue, and you came with a cry of his name. he rode you out, only slowing once the volume of the cute noise you were making died down.  

you quivered as he pulled away and licked your juices off his lips. he sat up, staring down at you as he undid the buttons on his own clothes. you felt your face getting warm under his gaze, even though he'd seen you like this plenty of times before. when he was like this, gentle and not as rigid or rough, he still managed to make you feel shy and small. moments like these were rare. for someone who didn't have any regard for his actions, he was putting so much thought into this. 

the way he slid out of his clothes and pushed your legs apart again with such care almost made you shiver. your heart raced once he grabbed the back of your thigh, pushing it back as he grinded his hard cock against your slick lips. he leaned forward, catching you by the mouth as he slowly sank into you. you moaned, eyelids falling shut as he stretched you out. he rolled his hips, working his way deeper with each thrust.

dottore broke the kiss as he bottomed out, wanting to hear the noise you made at full volume. a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, “yeah? that feel good? you don't have to hold back those pretty noises you're making, pet.”

you let out a whimper as he teasingly dragged his cock against your tight walls, slow and agonizing. he pressed a kiss to your collarbone, lightly nibbling at your skin. 

“c'mon,” he mumbled, his breath hot. “i can't give you what you want if you don't tell me what it is.”

“please,” you whined, your arms wrapping around his bare shoulders as you arched your back. 

you opened your mouth to tell him what you wanted, but he didn't give you enough time to answer. he sunk his teeth into you, a sharp yelp leaving your mouth as the sudden pain. he let go with a laugh, “please, what?”

“faster,” you choked out, eyes slightly glazed over with tears from his teasing and the bite he gave you. “please. i– can’t take it.”

his chest vibrated against yours as he chuckled, still gently rocking his hips, “you can take it, little one. you're doing so well.”

you mewled under him, as he rutted as deep as he could, as hard as he could without hurting you too much. but, you didn't feel any pain, and if there was it was lost in pleasure. your fingers twisted in his hair, gasping out each time he bullied his cock against your cervix. his long, deep strokes were making your head spin, and the teeth marks he began to liter your body with had you tightly clenching around him. 

dottore grunted, closing his eyes as he focused on how you sucked him in. you were so tight, squeezing him like you never had before, and you were throbbing as you got closer to the edge. he kept his pace, his cock gliding with ease. you rolled your hips, your legs wrapping around his as you tried to push him in further. 

“wanna cum,” you told him breathlessly. “zandik, please. please let me cum.”

he groaned upon hearing his name fall off your lips. it was something only you knew, and even though he loved when you called out either of his names, his real name was what he preferred to hear from you. he changed his rhythm, picking up some speed but only pulling his hips back briefly before driving right into that sweet spot. the friction making your orgasm build quickly while he raggedly breathed in your ear, “cum for me, little one.”

you tugged at his hair, legs shaking as you once again felt the euphoric high rushing through your body. your walls clamped down around his cock, a cry leaving your lungs as he continued driving you through your daze. 

he didn't stop even as your body relaxed and you were panting, out of breath. he pushed himself up, staring down at you as his hips began to roll with fervor. you whimpered, still feeling as if your nerves were on end, your body tingling while he used you to chase his own high. your eyes once again welled with tears from being worked this much.

“s’too much. s’too much,” your voice cracked, a stray tear rolling down your cheek. he leaned forward, using his tongue to wipe it away.

“you can do it, pet,” he assured you, grabbing your cheeks with one hand, giving you a quick, yet sloppy kiss. “you gonna cry some more pretty tears for me, too?”

you swallowed thickly, your mind clouding as you felt that pressure building up again. he started losing his rhythm, hips forcefully digging into yours each time he bottomed out inside you. more tears rolled down your cheeks as you came so hard it almost hurt. your shoulder jerked, your hold on him slipping, only briefly. you opened your mouth, but nothing came out. your mind going blank, eyes rolling back as he said words that you couldn't quite make out.

dottore cursed, your pussy tightening around him throwing him into a frenzy. he let his head drop to your shoulder, resting his forehead against your skin as he groaned, spilling hot cum inside you. he rocked into you, riding out his orgasm until you couldn't get anything else out of him. 

he caught his breath after he stopped, burying himself inside you. he brushed your hair away from your face, smirking at the sight of you. your gaze was half-lidded, your heart beating wildly against your chest. you were dizzy, unable to think clearly. you blinked slowly, looking up at him in a fog. 

he slowly pulled out, causing you to cringe. he hovered over you, running his thumb over your cheek, “you ready for bed now, brat?

you nodded your head slowly, “only if you are too.”

he shook his head, “we’ll see. let's get you cleaned up before we do anything else.”

[issues-oclock]

Scps with a reader who has way too good of pain tolerance. (Headcannons)

Like this bitch won't even notice their own head bleeding it's so good.

Dr. Bright/Shaw:

Doesn't even notice at first.

Though that was because he only saw small injuries like a cut finger or you hitting your toe against the door. I mean you are wearing shoes so that second one probably didn't even hurt.

Just thinks you're good at handling pain but then you straight up fall down some stairs.

He watches as you just dust yourself off and keep on walking.

He obviously asks if your okay but you say you're fine.

"How?!"

Once he realizes your high pain tolerance fully he will definitely use it to his advantage with schemes and such.

But still makes sure you don't get anything too life threatening. You may have tolerance but you aren't immortal like him.

Will still drag your ass to med bay though if it's too bad.

Do try to forgive him if it goes too far and your tolerance to pain isn't high enough for once and it actually hurts.

Scp 035:

Notices fast.

They tend to watch people to figure out how to manipulate them.

At first when you're just a worker to them they won't ask if you're okay, they don't like you enough to care.

But as you gain their friendship they will express some concern.

I mean your arm is not supposed to be facing that way uh okay you just snapped it back like it was nothing.

Eventually goes back to not really asking if you need help unless you actually express you're in pain.

But otherwise won't care much. They don't see you as someone they have to keep around.

Unless your pain tolerance can help them with their plans.

Won't ask how you got such tolerance, they already know.

Scp 049:

Notices immediately, he's grown very observant over the years.

Asks if you're okay right away.

If you say you're fine he'll most likely still help if it's bleeding or something he knows will leave a mark.

This does lead to some scenarios where you'll feel fine and stop resting but he has to get you back to bed anyways because otherwise it won't heal properly.

"Well I'm very happy you're feeling better but with your pain tolerance that doesn't mean much. That wound needs more time to heal. So please get back to bed"

Will also try to figure out the cause of your great pain tolerance and study you a bit.

[georgeweasleyslostearhq]

SOMEONE BETTER

Pairings: George weasley x Fem! Summary: George tells you that you deserve better than your boyfriend Warnings: mention of kissing, abuse, cheating, crying, blood, break up Note: I'm just saying right now that you should never tolerate a boyfriend that treats you badly.

George watched from afar as you talked to your boyfriend.

he was zoned out from whatever Fred was telling him as he stared at him yelling at you as you defended yourself

George couldn't understand why you guys fought all the time, and he couldn't understand why you still stayed with him.

the younger twin couldn't even begin to count the times he would have to comfort you after another fight.

he was sick of having to do that, as your best friend, George felt like he had to do something, but what could he do? he couldn't just go up to you and tell you to break up with him, you would come up with an excuse saying it was your fault and your boyfriend was right.

"George, are you even listening to me?" Fred snapped his fingers in front of his brothers face, George continues to look past Fred to you and your boyfriend, Charlie

"why doesn't she just leave him?" George questioned

"what?" Fred turned and looked at what George was looking at, Fred cared about you too, you were his friend, but he was never really concerned about your relationship with Charlie, he believed that if Charlie got so bad that you couldn't deal with it, you'd leave, and obviously you haven't broken up with him, so Charlie mustn't've been THAT bad.

but George knew the real truth, even if you hadn't told him yourself. you were scared, you didn't know what would happen if you broke up with him and you didn't even want to, you were so in love and thought this was normal, even if he frightened you.

"she's fine, George, if she wanted to, she would. and she doesn't so they must be fine" Fred shrugged, turning back to George

"just forget about it, she'll be fine"

"what if he hurts her?" George frowned

"i doubt he would do something like that, and if he does, then I guess you could do something but I don't think it would change anything." Fred replied, making George look at him

"let's go, let them be, we'll probably see her later" Fred pulled him away, George still looking back, seeing Charlie step closer to you, still yelling and getting louder as you flinched back

-

George sat on the couch of the common room, you beside him as you cried, telling him about the fight

"he said that I need to spend more time with him, he was accusing me of cheating and just started to yell, George, it's fine, it's my fault, I should make more time for him" you assured him as you wiped your tears

"it's not ok, Y/n! you guys fight all the time and you have the right to space, you should be able to be without him every once in a while" George argued softly

"I know, but clearly I'm without him too much, I need to spend more time with him, George" you smiled

"he doesn't need to yell at you"

"George just forget it, please, stop worrying about me, I'm fine" you insisted

George stayed silent as he stared at you.

it shouldn't have to be like this George thought to himself

he often found himself thinking about you, whether it was just knowing you shouldn't be with Charlie or worrying about you because of Charlie, or just daydreaming about you, specifically with him.

ever since he was younger, when he met you, he knew you meant a lot to him, he hates seeing you hurt, and it wasn't until a few years ago until he wanted nothing more than to make sure you never did.

it wasn't until earlier that year that he was going to tell you, Fred encouraged George enough to tell you about his feelings for you, but when he had found you to confess, you had excitedly cut him off to tell him that Charlie Trentwell had asked you out.

he wanted to happy for you, and he tried, but he had thought you liked him back, Fred had convinced him that you did and he was distraught when you had told him you were going out with Charlie that weekend

George had quickly left and scolded Fred, telling him that he was wrong and stupid

"don't worry, Georgie, it won't last long, I bet they won't last a month" Fred reassured George that day.

but here George sat, next to you, who had been with Charlie was 7 months.

and he knew you weren't going to willingly leave Charlie any time soon.

-

George was walking to halls with you, you had came to him 4 more times in the past week crying after another fight with Trentwell

George hated watching him treat you like shit, when he could treat you so much better, he would never yell at you like Charlie did, he would never purposely make you cry the way Charlie did, all he could do was wish you saw that he was there, that your best friend, George weasley, was there and completely in love with you.

"what the hell?" you both heard an angry voice behind you.

you turned around first and met Charlie's eyes, he was mad

Charlie stormed up to you and glared, his hands in a fist as he breathed heavily

"what the hell are you doing with him?" he glared at George before looking back at you

"we, we're just-" you started wearily before George spoke up

"that's none of your business" he stood tall.

George was taller than Charlie so it wasn't hard to stand his ground.

Charlie chuckled "that's funny"

"what is?" you asked confused

"that you're trying to make me jealous, with him! did you really think that was going to work?" Charlie continued laughing

"I wasn't, that not what I'm d-" you started

"save it" Charlie hissed, grabbing your hand and began dragging you away

"hey!" George yelled out, storming towards him

Charlie stopped in his tracks and looked and George madly

"piss off, Weasel, she doesn't Love you, she never will, so leave. her. alone, go back to you one room house where you all sleep together" Charlie spat at George

George's family was something that he never let anybody cross. if anybody disrespected his family, he would make sure they never did it again without knowing the consequence

"say that again, I dare you" George spoke daringly

"you heard me" Charlie stepped forward

"Charlie" You warned

"shut up!" he yelled at you, making you flinch at the sudden loud noise

George locked eyes with you and you shook your head at him, silently begging him to not do something stupid, or something he'll regret later

"well? is that it? you just going to stand there, weasel?" Charlie chuckled

George stood there, remaining silent as he looked away from you, respecting your wishes.

"that's what I thought, you fucking coward" Charlie continued talking badly

"if I see you near her again, I swear to merlin, you won't be so lucky"

Charlie grabbed you again and dragged you away

later that day you came to George in the common room and sat next to him as he sat on the couch, staring at the fire.

he could tell you had been crying without even looking at you

"you need to break up with him" he said, breaking silence

"he was joking about what he said, George, it was a joke" you informed him

he chuckled under his breath sarcastically "clearly I haven't taught you anything from jokes"

"George I'm not breaking up with him, he said he was sorry, he didn't mean it, and I love him and he loves me too, fighting is normal, ok?" you told him, fully believing your own words

"it's not healthy to be fighting this much, Y/n, you need to leave him, you deserve better" George fought

"George stop, I'm fine, I'm not leaving him, I love him"

"has he ever hurt you, physically" George asked softly

you hesitated for a second and you didn't need to answer for him to know the answer

he got up and started going to the stairs

"where are you going?" you asked him, looking back

"going to bed, wouldn't want him to see us together" he whispered.

-

George ignored you for the next couple of days. you had seen Fred and he told you it was because he didn't want you getting hurt, because you weren't going to listen to him when he told you to leave

Charlie had started another fight saying it was your fault he lost the quidditch match, he said your cheering was too loud that he got too distracted. you agreed and apologised, even though you weren't at the game, instead, studying with Hermione

George was walking along the halls after lunch, he was skipping class and was looking for good spots to set up a prank Fred was planning

he had turned a corner and stopped in his tracks when he found Charlie, snogging a girl against a wall that was definitely not you

George walked up to them and yelled out, making them break apart

"what do we have here?" George raised his eyebrows at Charlie

"you didn't see anything, Weasel, you hear me?" Charlie pointed his finger

"you can think that but truth be told, I saw a lot" George glared at him angrily

he was furious with Trentwell, how he could even think of doing this to you, after accusing you of doing this shit, he goes and does it, what a fucking hypocrite!?

"I'm telling you that you didn't see anything, I swear if you tell anybody, especially Y/n, you'll regret it" Charlie stepped closer

"I don't think I will" George stepped closer

"If she finds out about this, you're dead!" Charlie threatened

George laughed at your boyfriend face, thinking his threat is funny

"who do you think she'll believe then, huh? her boyfriend or her pathetic little best friend who's in love with her and sleeps in the same bed as his whole family" Charlie smiled cockily

there was nothing stopping George to fighting Charlie, you weren't there to shake your head, to tell him that Charlie's only joking, that you're fine.

only Charlie was there, with his new chick who he cheated on you with, so he didn't even think when he punched him square in the face

Charlie stumbled back and held his nose which started bleeding

"say that again, I dare you" George huffed

"fuck you!" Charlie yelled and threw a punch at George, hitting him on the lip.

George laughed and pushed him to the wall, punching him in the stomach, making him curl down

the girl he was with had run off in fear. George didn't care if she was going to find someone to help oe if she wasn't coming back. he was going to make sure that Charlie got what he deserved, unlike what you've gotten the past 7 months, going on 8

George pushed Charlie to the ground and started kicking him in the stomach over and over again, making him cough

Charlie pulled on George leg and knocked him on the ground before punching him and George groaned in pain from his back

George sat up and pilled Charlie to the ground, he gripped onto his collar and bagan hitting his face multiple times before.

the end of the lesson came to an end as George beat up Charlie, the classes emptying and the students came through the halls, finding the younger weasley twins beating up one of the most popular guys in the school

"you're a fucking piece of shit!" George cursed at Trentwell

the students began cheering 'fight' as Charlie managed to push George off him.

you came into the hall, hearing all the ruckus as you strolled to your next class

you pushed through and gasped as you saw Charlie and George beating each other up

"you cheating piece of shit!" George screamed as he kicked Charlie's groin, making him curl up, holding his private parts

George was supporting a cut on his lip and his eye looked like it was going to be black by tomorrow while Charlie had a bloody nose that looked crooked, a cut on his cheekbone and an already developed back eye as it began swelling up

George sat down on Charlie's torso, pinning him down as he slammed his fist on your boyfriends face over and over again

"never, ever go near her again, you hear me, Trentwell?! leave her the fuck alone!" George yelled, his arm flexing as it went back and fourth, connecting with Charlie's face.

"fine! fine I won't!" Charlie whimpered out, his voice cracking

you wouldn't expect him to be anything but strong, he was a quidditch beater after all, but you never thought he would beat anything other than a bludger.

George got up and toward over Charlie breathlessly as Charlie laid there unconscious. passed out from the pain and blood

George wiped the blood off his lip with his sleeve and locked eyes with you as you stared.

he slowly walked up to you and held out his hand

"c'mon" he ushered

you stayed silent as you subconsciously took his hand. he walked you guys through the castle as sat down

-

"what was that about?" you asked quietly, knowing the answer but wanting him to confirm it as he stared at the fire of the common room

George looked at you and stared for a moment before speaking

"you deserve to be loved, not just considered, you deserve to be loved, not given up on"

you fell silent again, before you took out your wand and said a carm that brought a bag out ice into your hand

you looked at his wounds and held out the icepack, George took it and placed it on his eye, grimacing at the cold

"who was the girl?!" you asked lowly, tears forming in your eyes as you thought of Charlie cheating on you

"doesn't matter, Y/n, you don't have to worry about him anymore" he clenched his jaw

"I don't know how many times I've told you that you deserve better, he never treated you the way you should be" he told you.

"yeah well, I highly doubt anybody would treat me 'right', George" you sighed

"you don't even know" he shook his head, quietly laughing

"don't know what?" you wiped a tear that escaped your eye

"the people who would treat you well" he replied, still looking at you carefully

"yeah like who? George?" you asked desperately

"I would" he answered simply, looking away

you blinked, deep in thought when you thought of what he was saying

"what Charlie was saying about you- me, it was true?" you questioned

"of course it was, it's been true for years" he looked at you again, removing the ice-pack from his eye

you took it from his hands and held it there, knowing his hand was getting tired of holding it there

"why didn't you tell me?" you frowned, surprised by what he was confessing

"I was going to, you cut me off and stopped me from embarrassing myself" he sighed, looking down at his lap

"the day Charlie asked me out" you mumbled

you reached for his hand and held it.

"I'm sorry" you apologised when he didn't say anything

"you've got nothing to apologise for, it's not your fault" he assured you, giving your hand a light squeeze

"well, I just got out of a pretty bad relationship, but, if you give me a little time, if you want, we could try it out" you suggested

"you sure?" he raised his eyebrows

"you say I deserve better, you say. who's better than you?"

----------------------------------

[lunaralight09]

Hey! based on the recent 096 thing,, what if you were immortal/immune to abnormal affects/effects? How would SCPs (such as 096, 106, 173, 049, and 035) react?

035

They both like and hate it. I mean if something happens to the host when they're near you, you'll just straight up put them on your face which WILL(probably) result to your death. And they do not want that to happen. And the bad thing... they can't read your mind properly(I mean they're probably interested and invested about what's happening in others life. It's the only good entertainment they can get in here).

Other than that, it's going to just adore you and your immunity to it. Like there weren't anyone who could look at it and not fall for their charm(manipulations), but look at you. Standing there alive and it's not even mad at you! Because it cares about you.

049

Oh it's not really a surprise to him, since there were and are some people that aren't afflicted with the pestilence(aren't dead from his touch). And he doesn't even need to lecture his cured patients about hurting you. They are always so docile with you, not getting rowdy. How convenient.

Before anything he does NOT want you to interact with many people(at all), since... what if they infect you? He won't like to see that, knowing that you're suffering from that wretched disease. But he can't exactly make you stay with him forever. He will hint and/or outright say that you need to stay away from certain people, however it's you decision to listen or not listen. You can make your own decisions. Even if that makes Doctor uncomfortable... with those 'intrusive' thoughts.

096

They are the calmest they have been in their entire existence, while someone looks at their face that is. And that does bring them some sort of comfort knowing that YOU of all creatures aren't going to die from their hands(unless some sort of accident happenS- WHO SAID THAT). The hands that killed too many.

And from those thoughts, the clinging begins. Knowing that you're 100% safe from being mutilated and turned into chunks of meat, they would want to spend a bit more time with you. Following, sitting or laying near you, anything. They are going to love it. The idea of listening to your heartbeat as a comfort thing is perfect for them. Whether they lay on you or you lay or rest on them(just don't forget to breathe).

106

Well That's not interesting(for him). His sadistic side fucking hates it. On one hand he can just grab you and squeeze your neck until you stop moving. But on other hand he (likes)tolerates you enough to not do it. Even if everything in his body tells him to fucking do it. Watch as your little life is slowly taken away from your desperate hands.

He'll more often than not will mostly ignore your presence. Especially if in a room/hallway there's a person(really hurt, showing it or 10-25 year old) and YOU, he'll always choose to go after the first option. And there's a possibility that he bumps into you, it's probably not intentional(i mean do you expect this corpse to walk straight and not bump and hit into things/people?)

173

(173 doesn't really have anomalous effects somewhat similar to other 4. But the best i can go is this):

Having 173 practically ignoring your existence and still moving while you look is.. good? Well for you, that is. You can't help anyone else, it's just a cold lie that you can look while they try to get away or clean the cell.

If you want to know it's thoughts about it. Well I mean it's not often that it has any thoughts(Literally head empty). Thoughts that usually appear are how it's next target's face going to look like as they're getting closer and closer. Oh and how their 'resting' face is going to look like.

Going back to your immunity, it knows, kinda acknowledge your existence in it's own weird way. Like it won't push you and just go a different path if you're blocking- let's say a door way. Or if you want to help some poor soul from dying, by just standing in the corner and that person being behind you. And surprise, surprise 173 looses it's interest entirely. How thoughtful of it.