#and you're sitting there trying to explain that no it's not one of the spirit's gifts

[storm-called]

thinking of the hilarity of having a charr who is also a werewolf

like, you're already a hulking "beast" with animal like features, but like, dog instead of cat

[literaila]

one in the morning

gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary:

"satoru. where did you get these kids?"

warnings: slight angst, awkward child rearing, a bit of arguing, and pining (of course), slightly ooc gojo

a/n: because i am a sucker for little megumi

*

year zero. year one.

it's not that you're not expecting the call. except that you're not. 

like not even a little bit. an asteroid coming down and destroying only you and your apartment building is slightly more likely than satoru gojo calling you in the middle of the night, like he hasn't done in the last six months. 

the last year, really.

a year ago you would've known who it was immediately and probably would've cursed satoru out for calling you at three in the morning to see if you wanted to go get ice cream with him (and then you would've gotten up and put on your shoes to find him outside of your room, already grinning). 

but now you have to check the caller id. 

you blink around in the dark--struggling through the dregs of dream you're still waking through--and sigh. 

unfortunately, you've never had quite enough willpower to ignore this phone call. shoko has called you an idiot many times--too many times, actually--telling you that satoru's attention-seeking habits are not your responsibility. not that she's had to say that in a while, though... and it's not like you're going to sneak out in the middle of the night with him anymore--you can't sneak out. you have your own house. there’s no yaga to look down on you disapprovingly here. 

and he hasn't called you in six months. you haven't even heard about him beyond some irritated remarks from yaga, and shoko's knowing glances when you try to nonchalantly bring him up.

and still. 

it takes you a moment to pick up the phone, your thumb hitting the answer button before your mind can stop you. 

"satoru?" you whisper, listening to the breathing on the other end. 

there's some muffled moving around, and then a breath, and then someone in the background speaking, and then-- 

"i need your help." his voice is quiet like he doesn't want anyone to hear what he's saying. 

what time is it? have you ever heard satoru say those words before? 

your first thought is that he's on another mission. that there's a cursed spirit and he needs some assistance. but when has satoru gojo asked anyone for help with a cursed spirit? when has he ever needed it? suguru was typically there to keep him from-- 

you pause, sitting up in bed. this might be a nightmare, but usually, you're more accustomed to them. "where are you?" you ask him, speaking in the same soft voice. 

you expect him to name off some city, some house, some country that you couldn't possibly get to. you expect him to crack a joke, say something to you about being lost without him, or laugh at how serious your voice sounds. but he only murmurs, "at your door." 

like it isn't a completely crazy thing to say. how does he even know where you live? 

"it's one in the morning," you say, frowning. some small part of you wants him to actually be there, expecting a knock to come from the void of your hallway. and the other, much bigger part, thank you, wants him to be joking. 

"i know," he sighs, and the receiver is muffled again, and then, "can you open it?" 

"what's going on?" 

"please," he repeats. there's no joke to this. this is not satoru asking you if you want to go get donuts at six in the morning, or milkshakes at midnight. "i'll explain. i just need your help." 

you bite back some remark about how he hasn't needed your help for the past year. about how he hasn't called, hasn't texted, and hasn't even asked about you since-- 

but you stand up, trying to untangle a knot in your hair. you hang up on him without answering. your heart gets a bit of satisfaction from that. 

and go to your door, giving yourself two seconds to prepare for the real-life satoru in front of your face. blue-everything eyes, you think, wall white hair, and a stupid smile. 

but when you open it, your eyes drift to his (sort of) like they're already sure of where exactly he might be, it isn't just him. 

there's a little boy--as tall as satoru's waist, with dark hair and furrowed brows to match--standing in front of another little girl--the same dark hair, but blank face--glaring up at satoru like he's kidnapped both of them. 

your eyes widen as you realize that he probably has. 

"this is basically every kid's dream," he's telling this boy, his playful voice like they’ve known each other for years. "i got you candy and i'm letting you stay up late. why aren't you normal?" 

"why aren't you?" this boy retorts, and his voice is hard. unreasonably sarcastic for such a small person. it might make you giggle, the obvious tension between the two of them, if you weren't so worried about these kids' poor parents, freaking out at their disappearance. 

the little girl is the first to notice you there, and she waves, her face much softer, much more exhausted than the boys in front of her. but she doesn't look frightened; not concerned with wherever this strange man has taken the two of them. 

and satoru looks up at the motion, his mouth turning as he looks at you. 

the little boy frowns, but his eyes settle. there's a brief moment where he watches you and you think that he's about to start begging for your help, but then it's gone. and his eyes trail back to satoru, still angry. 

you blink, swallowing at the three of them. this is not ice cream.

"satoru," you get out, eventually. "where did you get these kids?" 

*

"okay," you set a glass of water on the coffee table, trying to put on a normal smile. your hands are shaking, so you tuck them under your sleeves. "i'm sorry i don't have a lot of extra blankets, but if you get cold i'll go look through some boxes and see what i can find." 

it's been ten minutes with them inside your apartment, and you already feel like you're doing something wrong. satoru, obviously, just briefly introduced the two of them to you, before you grabbed his arm and dragged him--along with the kids that trailed behind--into your apartment. 

you'd hissed at him about how it was cold, and one in the morning, and they needed to be asleep. he only smiled and asked how you were. 

so now they're cuddled up on your couch, with your only spare blanket, both of them with dreary eyes. you're trying not to look too closely--to check if they've been crying, or if they're harmed in any sort of way.

the little boy--megumi--nods and tsumiki smiles at you. 

how four little eyes can look so appreciative, you're not sure.

satoru is leaning against the wall behind you, watching you move around these children like it's normal, and you have to bite your tongue to keep from screaming at him.

"is there anything else you need?" you ask them, trying to be softer than you are. you should’ve taken that babysitting job when you were twelve; you’re completely out of your depth here.

megumi shakes his head. 

"no, we're good," tsumiki says. 

and you seriously want to get them to a hospital. where did they come from? why does satoru have them? is he insane? are they insane? have you just dreamt this all up?

"okay, satoru and i are just going to go talk in the kitchen for a bit. come get me if you need anything." and you smile again, taking a couple of hesitant steps as they both look away from you to the show that tsumiki put on when you handed her the remote. 

at least they're not outside anymore.

you drag satoru into the kitchen, thinking about knocking the wind right out of him. he's always been particularly punchable, but right now he's even more so. 

and he's smiling adoringly at you. 

“satoru," you grind out, trying to keep your voice down. he leans against your countertop, crossing his legs. 

and he hums inquisitively. “you know, i don’t think megumi likes me very much.” 

“satoru.” 

“not sure…" he scratches his head, white hair falling over his sunglasses. "i mean he’s kind of a weird kid but still. i took them to the store to pick out anything they wanted and neither of them got anything. even when i showed them the different cakes they had in the bakery. there were matcha rolls today, too. do you think they’re robots or something?” 

“satoru. where did you get those children?” your voice is a step away from furious. 

why is he here right now? why does he just barge into your life at unprecedented moments, acting like nothing has changed between the two of you? 

acting like you haven't missed the sound of his voice or the way he speaks with his hands, or how he's standing right next to you, warmth radiating off of him like a toxin. 

“is that important right now?” he asks. “we’re talking about their spending habits.” 

“i’m talking about you. tell me that you didn’t steal them from the park and that i’m not obligated to report you.” 

“are you serious?" he shakes his head at you, his voice still teasing, calm as ever. "you think i’d just take some random kids home with me?” 

“i don’t know!" you tell him, finally breaking--your voice is raised, and you almost don't notice. "i don’t even know how you got here, or where you’ve been in the past six months, or whose children those are because they are certainly not yours.” 

he pouts. “you don’t think they look like me?” 

“you’re too pale.” 

“that’s rude, you—“ 

“whose kids are they? now, satoru.” 

you hope your face looks intimidating, but honestly, your demand is more like a suggestion when it comes to satoru. he can listen or he can leave. 

you don't know which one you want more. 

there’s a beat of silence where he rubs his foot on the ground, messing up your tiled floors probably. and then he sighs, relenting. “…toji zenin’s.”

he could’ve said anything else and you wouldn’t even care. oh, he found those kids abandoned in a warehouse on a mission? cool. oh, he found some long-lost cousins? great. if it were anything else, you would've waved him off and told him that he needed to get them new clothes, or something. 

but this? 

“what?!” 

“shh. you’re the one who said they need to sleep," he tries to look around the corner of your hallway, even though you both know he doesn't need to.

you’re gawking at him, but, really, can it be helped?

“toji zenin?!”

“well technically fushiguro according to the records i dug up. but zenin nonetheless...” 

“you stole his kids?!” 

“i didn’t steal—“ 

“he tries to kill you so you kill him instead and take his children hostage?!” 

this would be a wonderful moment to wake up.

satoru waves this statement off, frowning. “you’re really brushing over the ‘tried to kill me’ part. what? you don’t care about me?” 

“why do you have them, satoru? what are you planning to do? torture them for information?" your eyes are wide and your heart is panicked. "they’re kids—“ 

he scowls. “of course not.” 

“then what? tell me everything, starting from when toji tried to kill you.” 

“why do you automatically think i did something?" he complains. "it’s not like i asked zenin to kill me first. i didn’t bait him into slicing my throat open.”

“because you always start the problems.” 

“not true. sometimes i solve them, and sometimes i—“ 

“how did you find out about them?” 

he sighs. “he told me about megumi, before he, ya know,” and then he makes a motion across his neck. and a terrible noise that supposedly indicates death. 

you don't even mock him for it “why?” you ask. 

“megumi might inherit the zenin technique. he’s worth a lot to the zenin clan, and i guess that toji made a deal with them.” 

“you guess?” 

“well, it’s not like i had a whole lot of time between the resurrection and murdering thing to ask him. i didn’t invite the guy out for tea so he could tell me about his pride and joy," his voice is riddled with sarcasm, so you can't decide if he's joking or not. 

he is the most infuriating person you've ever met. 

“so what? he asked you to keep megumi away from them?”

“no, he didn’t seem the sentimental type. maybe he told me cause he didn’t want megumi to grow up there, or maybe he told me so i could claim the prize money for myself.” he shrugs. “it doesn’t matter.” 

you glare at him. “oh, it doesn’t?”

“no. i asked megumi what he wanted and this was it. he doesn’t want to live there and leave tsumiki behind, or have her live in that misogynistic shithole.” 

“how old is he?” 

satoru almost winces. "uh, six?”

“you don’t even know how old he is?” you close your eyes, shaking your head. 

“he’s in first grade! we haven’t gone through all of the basics yet.” 

“and tsumiki?” 

“…nine.” 

“satoru.” 

“i’ll figure it out. megumi acts like he’s fifty years old anyway, so what do i care?” 

you can practically see him rolling his eyes. 

“what do you care?" you repeat, mocking. "you just told me that megumi made this decision for himself. he's a kid. he probably doesn’t understand—“ 

“he understands that if he goes to the zenin clan his sister will suffer in whatever way they deem fit. i mean, you know what it’s like for girls there—especially without any cursed energy.” 

“you cant just make this decision for them on a whim, satoru. have you thought any of it through? where are they going to stay? who’s going to watch them when you’re sent away? where are they going to go to school? what if megumi does inherit his cursed technique?” 

“all of that doesn’t matter. i'll figure it out," he waves off the topic of their lives like it's a mere suggestion, "what matters is that i keep those kids from being subjected to a life of servitude and competition. that they get to be kids while they can.” 

you swallow. is there a way not to be frightened by this? “i know—i know where you’re coming from," you give him a weak smile, trying not to yell, or fight, or question this so much that satoru shuts down. "it’s nice of you to be… worried about them. but this isn’t like taking in a lost kitten, satoru. these are children.” 

“do you really feel the need to point that out?” 

“yes. what do you know about kids?” 

he smiles, wide. “nothing!” he exclaims. “that’s why i came here. and you’re already doing a great job.” 

you frown. “what do i know about kids?” 

“well, you like them, don’t you?” 

“what?” 

“when we went to that daycare center during second year you played with all of the kids. you like them," he nods as if affirming it himself. 

you went to a daycare with satoru once to take care of a grade three curse and apparently, it's led him to insanity. 

“you’re comparing my hide-and-seek skills to taking care of those two kids on my own?"

“i mean, i’ll be here too...” 

“taking care of three children on my own?” you correct. 

satoru pouts. 

you think about what suguru told you after riko amanai died; about satoru and the shift within him. some sort of manic strength he hasn't uttered a word about since. 

but you continue, swallowing. "what's this really about?" you ask, softly, trying not to be mad, or worried, or concerned about why he came here to you. "it's not like you to... take responsibility for something you're not responsible for." 

his pout turns into a frown. you can see his brows furrow. "you don't think i'm capable of helping people?" 

"i know you're capable. but why? why now? i mean, it's been a year since toji died, and you're just getting them now? you suddenly remembered what he said to you?" 

"i had to figure out the logistics of toji's deal." 

"okay," you shake your head, "but still. why not have a family take them in? find someone who can give them a relatively normal life before they're pushed into all of this?" 

satoru's face is blank. "no. what happens when megumi is eight and his new 'parents' put him in a hospital because he's seeing things that they can't?" 

for the first time since he's walked through your front door, he sounds almost serious.

"i--" 

"what happens when they're afraid of him because he draws in cursed energy? when his 'family' rejects him like yours did? like suguru's did?" 

"satoru." 

"honestly, do you think that's any better?" he gestures to your living room, to the kids he's proclaimed responsibility for. "if he does inherit his technique then the zenin clan will go looking for him anyway, and he won't be able to protect himself because there was no one to teach him how. no matter where he goes he's going to be ripped away from tsumiki, who seems to be the only thing he actually cares about. he didn't even want to know--" 

"is this about suguru?" you ask him, the words falling before you can catch them. 

satoru stills. you can see every one of his muscles tense. preparing for a fight. "what?" 

"are you trying to... make up for his decisions? do you feel guilty? is megumi supposed to replace him?" 

"replace him?" 

"i know you think that you can take care of everything on your own, satoru, but you can't. it's not your fault that toji died. and it's not your fault that suguru left--" 

"it is my fault." he says, so softly the words are almost caught before they can reach you. "it is." 

you shake your head. you should've had this conversation months ago. a year ago, before any of this could happen. 

"c'mon, y/n," he continues, no laughter, no smile, no swagger. "i saw what was happening. everyone did. but i was his best friend. i was supposed to be there for him." 

"suguru didn't want you there. he didn't want you to be a part of it." 

"well i could've stopped him. even if i couldn't save suguru--" his voice cracks on his name. "i could've saved everyone else. but i didn't." 

"that's... that's a ridiculous suggestion. how are you supposed to kill your best friend? why should you have to save everyone? why would you even--" 

"megumi isn't some replacement. he's a little boy, and if i'm not there for him then he's going to be stuck with his family. just like i was. he's going to be used for his cursed energy and who knows how he'll turn out? if he'll kill people recklessly like toji, or die trying to do the right thing?" 

you're silent. 

"i'm the only one who can protect him from this," satoru says, and you realize that he's been thinking about this for the past year. that every second since he almost died, this has been on his mind. "they're not going to touch him if i make it clear that i won't let them. i won't--i'm not going to let him become someone he doesn't want to be." 

you sigh. "satoru..." 

his body moves at your voice and he smiles again, shaking off whatever anger you drew out. it's almost a complete shift in who you're talking to. like the stakes no longer matter to him; these kids are just another obstacle to face, a power to control. 

like he's remembered the role he's supposed to play. 

"besides, someone's going to need to take over for me eventually. i might as well train him myself." 

you cant see his eyes, and that’s probably good. you wish someone else were here to take your side, explain to satoru that he’s just a kid himself. that he shouldn't have to take care of everything on his own. 

because when it’s just you, he always has the upper hand. he always gets his way. 

"okay," you say, eventually, after you realize that you'll never win this fight. that you don’t want to fight with him at all.

"okay?" he repeats. "so you'll help me?" 

"help you?" 

"yeah. why do you think i brought them over here?" 

you pause. "you want me... to what? raise them?" 

"with me, yes." 

"are you kidding?" 

"no. you're probably the only person i trust to help." 

the words do something almost indescribable to your body. the person you were a year ago would've cried out in relief, would've clung to him like glue to paper. 

but you frown instead. "seriously?" 

"you've already taken care of them better than i could. look." he drags you around the corner to where tsumiki has her head on megumi's, both of them snoring softly, folded into the blanket you gave them. 

the tv flickers in the background, bothering neither of them. how they've managed to fall asleep with all of the yelling that's been going on, you don't know. 

"see? they already feel safe around you." 

"they're exhausted," you correct, but feel yourself soften at the sight of them. they are kinda cute without the scowl or concern plaguing their faces.

"we're going to be great parents," satoru coos, slinging an arm around your shoulder. 

you push him away. "we are not their parents. we are... permanent babysitters. nannies." 

satoru fixes you with an amused look. "okay." 

"and you still owe me an explanation. i want a complete narrative about what you've been doing for the past six months. and how you found the two of them." 

"okay," he steps closer to you again like you won't notice. 

"and--" you don't have anything else. it's one in the morning. how clear is your mind supposed to be? "and you're paying for anything they need." 

"uh huh." 

eventually, you sigh. it's a surprise that you've lasted this long. "fine. i'll help you. but only because they'd probably die if they spent more than twenty-four consecutive hours with you." 

satoru doesn't say anything--not to whine or roll his eyes--and it's a small acknowledgment, a thank you he doesn't have to say out loud. he'll take this win, at least. 

the two of you watch them, relaxing into the wall. 

after a minute satoru whispers. "by the way..." 

"what?" 

"i didn't tell megumi that i killed toji." 

you turn to him. your eye might as well start twitching. 

"what? he said he didn't want to know--" 

*

you're sneaking into the kitchen when you notice him sitting at the table. his hands are crossed in front of him, his eyes focused on a stain you haven't been able to get off of the wood. 

he's very small, you realize, watching him. his hair is messier than it was the night before, sticking to his head like he slept slumped against it. 

he's not doing anything, really. just sitting there. you can see his legs swinging in the air. 

and before you can prepare for what to say to this little boy who you're probably going to be spending a lot of time with, your mouth is open. "hey," you say to him, just whispering. 

tsumiki must be sleeping. 

megumi looks up, quickly, like he wasn't expecting you to be there. his eyes are wide like he's been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to. but then he slumps down again and gives you a brief nod in acknowledgment. then looks back down, because the table is very interesting.

you wonder how many mornings he's woken up alone, with no one to tuck him back in.

"can't sleep?" you ask him, standing across from him and leaning against the table. 

"this is when i usually wake up," you recall his voice the night before when satoru was teasing him, rougher than a boy's should be. but it's soft now, quiet. 

it's probably seven if the clock on your bedside table is to be believed. 

"you were up pretty late, though." 

he almost rolls his eyes, remembering the events of the night before. 

and you can tell that he doesn't really want to talk to you. he doesn't know anything about you, or what you want with him. why should he trust you? 

you clear your throat. "how old are you?" 

he looks up again. "six. why?" 

"satoru wasn't sure." 

this time, megumi actually rolls his eyes. you're familiar with this sort of annoyance directed at satoru, so you smile, just a little bit. at least there's something you can relate to. 

"and tsumiki?" 

"seven." 

you nod, stepping away. 

what do you say to a boy who has been dragged into your home by a maniac? 

you sigh, clearing your throat again. "are you hungry?" 

megumi's eyes narrow. there's a brief second between the two of you, where some sort of understanding passes through his eyes. who was the last person to make him breakfast? 

and then he nods, slowly. 

you smile. "okay. c'mon, let's see if i have anything you like." 

*

next part.

[jaewritesfic]

Everlasting Trio DP x DC Nobody Knows AU Part 9

Part 8

“Nothing? At all?”

“Nothing, Red,” Barbara's voice repeats through the speakers of the Batcomputer, sounding irritated at this point.

“But- I mean, did you try-”

“She's going to come to the cave and shove a Batarang up your ass if you ask her one more time whether she missed something, Replacement,” Jason drawls off to the side. He's reclining in a chair, feet kicked up on a weapons table.

Tim groans. “I know, I know. I'm sorry.”

He's back in the Cave, and so is pretty much everyone else. Turns out he'd caused something of a panic, and it was all hands on deck for a hot second.

When the engineer had density shifted out of his grasp and heckled him from some nebulous spot midair, it had taken only a few seconds afterwards for Tim’s comms to explode with noise.

Turns out nobody had been able to hear anything from him except a constant low static from shortly before the encounter until after it ended, and his mask camera was borked the whole time too.

Understandably, there was some alarm about that. Bruce had ordered everyone back to the cave for a full explanation and conversation on what the hell happened.

“Sit down and tell us what happened, baby bird. You're gonna wear a hole in the floor at this rate,” Dick tells him, a gentle hand on his shoulder nudging him towards a seat.

Tim groans and throws himself into it like a puppet with his strings cut.

“Well he's definitely a meta,” he grumbles. “I never actually laid eyes on him. Wouldn't have even known he was there if he hadn't gotten ghost busted.”

“Ghost busted?” Jason asks, eyebrows raised. Tim huffs out a reluctant laugh, because in retrospect that part was pretty funny.

“His fucking phone went off. All of a sudden the empty air next to me was blasting the Ghostbusters theme song and an invisible man was swearing like a sailor until it cut out.”

Stephanie blows a raspberry in the start of a laughing fit, and suddenly the whole cave is echoing with mirth. It lifts Tim's spirits a little, makes him laugh too.

He means, come on. That has to be the new record for the funniest botched stealth mission, a position previously held by Damian when a stray dog outed him because it smelled the treats he keeps in his utility belt.

The shade of red the demon brat's face was when he had to explain why the mission went sideways was fucking glorious.

“So you've confirmed that we're dealing with a male meta?”

Speaking of the brat.

“Sounded male, and he at least has invisibility and density shifting,” Tim confirms.

“Density shifting?” Bruce prompts.

“Yeah. After the phone went off I couldn't see him but I was trying to figure out where he was. Then the lockbox disappeared too - he can transfer the invisibility through touch, apparently.”

“Huh. Haven't seen that before,” Duke comments.

“Me neither. But I made an educated guess at where I thought he was and grabbed his arm. Had a damn good grip, and then he just…went through me. Like I literally felt something pass through my hand all cold and tingly and suddenly I wasn't holding anything anymore.”

Jason snorts. “Bet that was a kick in the nuts, huh.”

“Come on, Little Wing,” Dick scolds half heartedly. “Be nice.”

Jason rolls his eyes.

“You said ‘at least’,” Bruce says, brow furrowed. “You suspect he has other powers too?”

Tim purses his lips. “I can't be sure, considering I couldn't see him, but…I think he probably has flight too.”

“Flight?” Dick says, furrowing his brow. He crosses his arms and shakes his head, looking both thoughtful and troubled. “No, that's not possible.”

Tim blinks. “What? Why not?”

Dick ‘Be Nice, Little Wing’ Grayson looks him dead in the eyes and says, “Because according to all known laws of aviation-”

“You-!”

The cave is filled with laughter again, Jason throwing his head back and cackling in a way that's particularly irksome. Tim reaches over and shoves at his boots while he's tipping his chair back and sends him toppling to the floor.

Jason flails and fails to save himself, rolling back to his feet and spitting curses with a hint of green to his eyes. Tim freezes at the sight of it.

It's not that he's scared. He and Jason have come a long way, and everyone knows by now what amount of green is actually dangerous. Jason's nowhere near actually losing it right now, he's just annoyed.

What makes Tim freeze is-

“He's been exposed to the Pits.”

Everyone pauses, confused. Jason blinks at him. “Uh…yeah, fucking duh?”

“No,” Tim shakes his head. “No, not you. The Engineer.”

Suddenly there's no laughter anymore. Everyone has gone tense and alarmed.

“Tim?” Bruce prompts lowly.

“I did see part of him,” Tim murmurs lowly, realizing it himself for the first time. “When I grabbed him, there were two bright lights for a second or two before they faded. God, I should have realized- it was his eyes. Like Christmas lights, bright Lazarus green."

Masterpost

[ddejavvu]

hi mei! i absolutely love your stories! you’re a really great writer 🥰

i was wondering if u’d be interested in doing a hotch drabble about him with a s/o who seems really intimidating but is actually really soft and sweet?

like maybe it’s her appearance that makes the team intimidated by her—edgy clothing and dark makeup and stuff—when she shows up to hang out with hotch on his lunch breaks. and she’s like ‘i feel like your team doesn’t like me :(‘ and he’s like ‘honey, they’re borderline scared of you’ but it’s fluffy.

if you don’t wanna that’s totally okay! i did a bad job explaining but i’m sure you’d do an amazing job :)

love ya!! hope ur having a good day

Aaron loves when you visit him at the office for lunch, but you don't look like you're in high spirits yourself. When you sit down its with a huff and a hiss of the chair accommodating your weight, only adding to your dramatics.

"This might be my career in profiling speaking," Aaron begins, his voice soft in case something is terribly wrong, "But something tells me you're not having a good day, sweetheart."

"You're good," You tease him, and he wishes you could laugh about it together, "Aaron, I think Doctor Reid is afraid of me."

Aaron has to bite his tongue not to laugh. Doctor Reid is afraid of buffets, he thinks, but it's not an abundance of germs that unnerves Spencer about you, it's- well, it's everything he knows about you.

"Honey," Aaron calls upon that sweet tone again, "He doesn't know you very well."

"You didn't deny it!" You groan, falling back into your chair and abandoning your soup on his desk, "I knew it. What did I do?"

Aaron looks into your eyes, black-lined and sharp. He watches you chew on your cheek, your black-stained lips moved by the nervous quirk. Below your tense jaw is a chain that rests against your neck, not a full choker but not loose, either. It nearly disappears into the hem of your jacket, black leather that falls over a rather graphic old band tee.

"It's not what you've done," Aaron explains tentatively, "It's probably- well, how you look."

Your nose scrunches, and Aaron marvels the fact that you seem to have forgotten your appearance, "How do I look?"

"Like a doberman pinscher in human form," Aaron bites off a corner of his sandwich, chewing it in lieu of pressing the matter further.

"I like dobermans." You supply weakly, "Why is he afraid of me?"

"You're just not what he's used to," Aaron sighs, swallowing his mouthful and leaning across the desk, hand outstretched, "He probably thinks you could dismember him with those nails."

You place your palm in Aaron's own, and he flips your hand around to showcase the rather impressively sharp acrylics you're sporting.

"And your boots are heavier than he is, I guarantee it," Aaron nods down at your thick-soled black boots, ones that give away your entrance from a mile away by the sound of their rubber hitting the ground.

"He's just..." Aaron searches for the right word, trying not to disparage you or Reid, "Skittish. You should talk to him, though, honey. He likes science, and literature, and Star Trek. Pick something from one of those categories, and I promise he'll never stop talking to you for the rest of your life."

You're mostly satisfied, but you let your hand rest in Aaron's for a moment longer, and he'd be a fool to drop it.

"Am I scary, Aaron?" You ask earnestly, and his smile is warm as he brings your hand to his mouth to kiss at your knuckles.

"Not to me. And not to anyone who knows you," He promises, "But... it is nice to not have to worry about carrying a gun when we go out together."

"Aaron!" You laugh, "I'm not a weapon!"

"You could be!" Aaron insists, tugging your hand over to his lunch and dragging your fingernail across his sandwich, "Here, honey, cut it for me, would you? They forgot to give us knives."

"Stop!" You insist, but your laughter gives you away as you turn back to your soup with burning cheeks, "Just you wait, Aaron. As soon as Penelope stops running whenever I enter a room, we're gonna talk shit about you for this."

[ozzgin]

Omg can we hear what the "there's only one bed" trope would be like with your yokai harem pleaseeee

Featuring your (not yet) monster boyfriends, and the classic case of having to share one bed due to unforeseen circumstances. You've been chasing a vengeful spirit back into the modern world, and the only inn - as you're in the middle of nowhere presently - has a single remaining room. Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance, fluff with mild NSFW

Murasaki

"Where are you going?" you manage to blurt out, hurrying after the dark-haired yokai. "You may take the bed. I don't need sleep", he explains curtly as he places a hand over his sword. "I'll be keeping watch outside." Murasaki is stubborn, and you already know that no amount of arguing will convince him. As it's already late and you're quite exhausted, you do hesitantly crawl under the sheets while he positions himself next to the door. When you wake up for a bathroom break, you notice him breathing softly in a peaceful slumber. You might have to be creative with your tactics: You return to your room, pull on your clothing a little bit, and let out a frantic shout. The horned man scrambles up and barges inside, wildly confused. "I had a terrible nightmare, and thus, lamentably, I will be requiring your presence for the remaining hours of the night", you narrate theatrically, patting the empty half of the bed next to you. He clicks his tongue and furrows his brows in annoyance. As he approaches, you can discern a faint blush dusting his cheeks. "You can't be serious right now", he bemoans, removing the swords from his sash. "Pathetic." He begrudgingly shoves himself next to you and turns around. His ears are a deep shade of red. "Now shut up and go back to sleep."

Kiritsubo

"Does that mean we can share the bed?" Kiritsubo is beaming with enthusiasm as he waddles behind you towards the room. "I suppose so", you nod reassuringly, somewhat confused by his reaction. You've been sleeping next to each other from the very beginning, or at least ever since you've been awakened by one of his night terrors and offered to keep him company. "It's nothing new, though, is it?" "Well, this time it's in your world, you know?" he confesses, now a little embarrassed by his obvious excitement. He scratches his cheek awkwardly. "I s-suppose it's not that different, huh?" You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. There's one technical detail you've omitted in your generous offer: Kiritsubo is massive and terribly clingy. His muscular arms are wrapped tightly around you, and you can feel his hot breath in your ear. You try to free yourself by lifting your leg and shoving him with your knee, but he doesn't budge. Not only that, but you might've unintentionally aroused him in his sleep. It'll be a long night, you think as you try to ignore the boner pressing into your side.

Suma

"Well, at least we know who's taking the bed", the yokai jokes as the inn worker bows apologetically. "We're terribly sorry, sir, there's nothing...there's nothing here that could possibly..." their words trail off, gazing at Suma's enormous stature. Indeed, the human sized furniture looks ridiculous next to him. You wave your hand and dismiss the baffled employee. You can't blame them; you too were speechless during your first encounter with the demon. "What will you do?" you ask, sitting on the edge of the mattress. "I can sleep on the floor just fine!" He flashes you a smile and stretches his limbs. "If you get bored of that", he continues, pointing at the bed, "you can always join me". He pats his chest with a cheeky grin, chuckling at the sight of your now blushing face. Perhaps it's not such a bad offer. Then again, how comfortable is it to sleep on toned muscles? You sit up and decide to test it out yourself.

Yuugiri

"Oh my, what a pity. Well, it's only natural that you have priority." Yuugiri steps aside and gestures for you to come closer towards the bed. "We don't want our precious little human to be uncomfortable, hmm?" You want to protest, but he quickly places a pale, slender finger over your lips. "Unless..." he adds, this time in a deeper voice. He lowers himself painfully close to your face. "Unless you want us to sleep together. Although I can't promise to keep my hands to myself." You stutter awkwardly, and you can feel your cheeks burning in embarrassment. The yokai laughs at your flustered state, delighted by your reaction. "You always tease me", you finally manage to say, brushing past him and climbing under the sheets with an irritated huff. "Can you really blame me? You're always so cute~" After a moment of silence, you can feel a shuffle coming from behind you. "Jokes aside, do scooch over. I'm not going to sleep on the floor like an animal."

Sekiya

Sekiya stares at the bed and shivers. He dares not look in your direction. The thought of sharing a bed with a demon like him must've made you uncomfortable. Why else would you be so quiet? You're probably trying to come up with a polite way to retrieve your privacy. He won't let you struggle for a way out. He opens his mouth to excuse himself, but he's interrupted by your exhausted yawn. "Guess we'll sleep together, huh?" you remark, casually, as you unbutton your shirt. The lack of response prompts you to turn and search for the yokai, who is now visibly red and feverish, erratically fidgeting and twiddling his fingers. "W-what are you even saying..." he blurts out. Are you mocking him? You must know he's very much attracted to you. To think he'd be this close to your body...he shakes his head vehemently. Unimaginable! Then again, chances like these don't come all the time...

Sakaki

“We can share the bed if you’d like”, you suggest to the masked yokai. "No need to concern yourself with me. My nights are tormented, devoid of any rest. I will not be requiring a bed", he states melancholically, but with factual confidence. You don't think you can sleep with his shadow looming over at all times, so you insist that he at least attempts to lay down regardless of the outcome. He lets out a deep sigh and closes his eyes. Hmm. There's a certain warmth emanating from your body. He unconsciously drags himself closer, head now resting next to yours. The heat brings him comfort, and his muscles begin to relax. He'd even dare to say it's a pleasant experience. You jolt awake upon feeling a pair of arms wrapping around you, and you turn back in confusion. Sakaki swiftly hides his flustered face in the crook of your back. "Perhaps this isn't so bad, after all..." he mumbles quietly. "Don't mind me."

[Main Story] | [Character Guide]

[scribblesofagoonerr]

howdy, america! | buddy & monkey: double the trouble

my favourite fic to write. it did start out as a sick fic but then it turned into well, this.

pairings: leah williamson x reader!buddy x reader!monkey

summary: preseason has kicked off in america and it's chaos all round!

double the trouble masterlist

thank you @alotofpockets for the help with this one! there's also a special appearance from @lvnleah character Rory as well.

“Nana, it’s too hot!” You whine, not a fan of this hot and sticky weather in the middle of August, “I don’ like it!”

“I know sweetheart,” Amanda sympathises with your fussiness that you’re not entirely used to being in another country as she adjusts the little sun hat on your head, “How about you try and drink some water to see if that helps at all, hm?” She suggests.

“Okay,” You shift restlessly in your seat as you take small sips from the bottle that you’re handed, “I don’ feel good,” You whimper, unhappily.

You are so excited to watch the game, you love it usually. However, today's a bit different with the fact of the unbearable heat in America is that you’re not at all used too, it makes you feel all icky inside.

You don’t like it, not one bit.

You're sitting in the stands with your Nana as you watch the football match unfold as Arsenal take on Washington Spirit in a preseason game at the Audi Field. The sun is blazing down and the stadium is packed with fans all eager to see their favourite players on the pitch.

Donned in your own Arsenal football shirt as you sit perched on your Nana’s lap, with a pale pink sun hat on the top of your head to keep the sun out of your eyes but it didn’t help the fact that you felt uncomfortable with the newfound heat you weren’t all that familiar with.

“I don’ like this heat,” You whine in discomfort, continuing to get fussier as the minutes draw on into the first half of the game, “I feel icky!”

“Oh sweetheart,” Amanda coos, doing her best to comfort you despite the fact you’re just getting more restless by the second as the game goes on, “I know it’s a lot to handle. Shall we see if we can find a spot in the shade?” She wonders.

“I wan’ Mummy,” You whine upset, looking out to where Leah is standing on the pitch with her usual stern expression she always has.

“I know you do, but Mummy is still on the pitch at the minute,” Amanda explains, taking control of the situation to bring you into a more shaded area with hope that you might feel a bit better, “It won’t be long until you can see her, sweetheart.”

“Too hot Nana, I feel icky,” You continue to whine in discomfort, thrashing around in the older women’s arms as you feel a pain in your tummy, “I’m gon’ be sick, Nana!” The tears brim your eyes, wanting nothing more than to be in Leah’s arms again.

“Oh no, sweetheart,” Amanda furrows her eyebrows as she prepares for the worst case situation, “Just a little longer sweetheart. You can see Mummy soon, I promise,” She tries to keep you calm for the rest of the first half of the game.

Despite her best efforts to keep you hydrated and in the shade away from the sun too much, the heat only seems to make you feel worse. 

Amanda is more than thankful for the whistle at the end of the first half to be able to signal to Leah, who’s just finishing up with a small interview.

“I wan’ see Mummy now,” You murmur with a pout on your face, not entirely understanding why you can’t have her straight away.

“Hang on sweetheart, let’s see if we get her attention,” Amanda lightly sways with you in her arms, “Leah!” She calls out, trying to catch the blonde before she dips off into the changing rooms for the half time talk with the rest of the team.

Leah looks over straightaway, concern immediately crossing her face when she takes in your flushed cheeks and drooping posture, “Hello my little bubba,” She jogs over to the sidelines and gently brushes a strand of hair away from your sweaty forehead, “What’s the matter?” She questions, her worry evident for you.

“I don’ feel good, Mummy!” You immediately reach out for the blonde as your bottom lip quivers.

The blonde doesn’t hesitate to scoop you up into her arms and hold you close to her despite the heat, “Oh it’s okay, my little bubba. I’ve got you.” She murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“I feel icky, it’s too hot!” You whimper in her arms, snuggling into her embrace despite the blazing heat that there currently is right now, “I gon’ be sick,”

“I’ve got you. You’re gonna be okay, bubba,” Leah kisses the top of your head and holds you in her arms, “It’s very hot here, isn’t it? It’s no wonder why you feel sick,” She adds.

“She’s been fussy the whole of the first half. It might be a good idea to take her indoors for a bit out of the heat,” Amanda suggests the idea, “I know you might need to go back on, so I can take her?” She offers.

“No, it’s fine. I’m not going back on if my little girl is feeling sick,” Leah declares without a second thought, “I’ll go and take her inside myself for a little bit, I just need to let Jonas know Buddy’s not well,” With a quick word passed over to the coaches about being subbed off for the game, you’re heading inside in Leah’s arms to a more secluded area where there is air conditioning available.

“I don’ like this feeling,” You whimper tearfully, “I wan’ watch Monkey though!” You mention your favourite person, you always like to watch her play football and now you couldn’t while you’re inside.

“I know you don’t,” Leah coos, settling down on a chair as she cradles you in her arms while the air conditioning works wonders to cool you down, “We can go and watch Monkey if you want too as long as you don’t feel too sick still?”

“Wan’ watch her,” You murmur quietly.

“Okay, that’s fine. We can do that,” Leah replies in agreement before she stands up again from her seat and carries you in the direction of the changing rooms, “How about we take a little quick shower first to cool you down and then we’ll go back out, hm?” She suggests.

“There’s my favourite little Buddy!” You hear your favourite person speak up as you turn your head and give her a small smile, “What’s wrong?” She asks, concerned.

“Buddy’s not feeling that great at the minute with the heat,” Leah informs the girl, brushing another strand of your hair away from your sweaty face.

Monkey’s eyes widen in concern as she sees you nestled in Leah’s arms, your small frame seeming even smaller as you clung to her and normally, you would be bouncing with excitement to see her, eager enough to run into her arms but today was a completely different story.

The heat had drained all of your energy, leaving you feeling icky and weak.

“Oh no,” The girl frowns, stepping closer towards you as her playful demeanour is replaced with worry, “You’re not feeling well?” She asks.

“Too hot,” You murmur, your voice barely above a whisper as you still hold on tightly to Leah.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Monkey pouts at your fragile state she’s not used to seeing you like, “I… I can stay with her if you need to go back on and play?” She offers, turning to look at Leah.

Leah shakes her head in disagreement, “It’s okay, I’ve been subbed off and I am going to sit with her,” She pauses, “Besides, little miss wants to watch you play when you get subbed on.”

“If you’re sure?” The younger girl offers, her usual energy subdued as she watches you with careful eyes, “I don’t have to play today. Buddy’s sick!”

“No, you’re going to play,” Leah replies against the idea, “Buddy will be fine, I’m going to be with her the whole time. Now, go head back out there and we’ll see you out there in a bit, okay?” She encourages Monkey to go back and join the rest of the team that are still sitting on the bench.

“Urgh fine,” The girl huffs reluctantly and shuffles out of the changing rooms in a sulk.

“What is she like, eh? Silly Monkey,” Leah laughs lightly and shakes her head about Monkey’s sudden mood change as she walks over to the shower and turns it on to a lukewarm temperature, before carefully placing you down in the shower as she lets the cool water spray over your body, “There we go, bubba. Does that feel better?”

Despite her teasing Monkey about her mood swing, her focus never once wavers from you as she takes care of you.

“Uh huh. Better, Mummy,” You nod as the water washes away the discomfort.

“Good, I’m glad,” Leah says with a warm smile, reaching for a towel to wrap around you as she turns off the shower, “Let’s get you changed into some fresh clothes and then we’ll go sit back down with everyone else.”

“Sit with Auntie Beth?” Your wonder, curiously.

“Yeah, I think Auntie Beth has been subbed off as well,” Leah confirms, her hands working quickly and efficiently to get you dried off and into a fresh set of clothes, “It’s a good job that I packed spare clothes, isn’t it?”

You scrunch your face up when you realise that you won’t be able to wear your own Arsenal shirt now, “I don’ get to wear my Arsenal top no more,” You mumble, a hint of sadness in your voice.

“It’s okay, I know that you’re still my little cheerleader, Bubba,” Leah kneels down to your level as she smiles reassuringly at you, “For now, it’s between one of these ones,” She says, holding up a couple of options for you to choose from.

You take a moment to decide before you finally point to one you like more, “Green one.”

“Green? Oh that’s a good choice, Buddy!” Leah praises, helping you into the t-shirt along with a pair of white shorts, and you were more than happy to go back out to find your aunties, “Ah, ah, not so fast. You still need some more sun cream on, little miss.”

“No, I don’ like it,” You grumble in protest and try to pull away from her, “Don’ like it, Mummy. it’s icky!”

Leah chuckles softly, her hands already applying the suncream despite your reluctance, “Oh I know, but it’s better than looking like a lobster now, isn’t it, hm?”

“Icky,” You mutter, making a face even if you know she’s right about that, but it still doesn’t mean you have to like it.

You definitely do not like sun cream.

“I know,” Leah agrees with a sympathetic smile as she finishes applying the sun cream to your squeamish body, “All done, see that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“Gross,” You whine in response, shaking your head in disagreement.

“It’s not that bad,” Leah smiles in amusement, “Shall we go and see which of your aunties we can find now then?”

“Yeah, watch Monkey play!” You declare, your earlier excitement starting to return now that you’re feeling better.

“Yeah, she’ll be playing soon,” The blonde agrees with a fond smile, holding her hand out for you to take as you make your way back to the bench where you spot a familiar face sitting there, “Look who it is, it’s Auntie Beth!” She points out the blonde woman.

“Hi, Buddy!” Beth greets you with a small wave as she has Rory, sitting on her lap looking grumpy.

You’re not sure if it’s the heat or the fact that she’s missing Viv, but she’s definitely not having a good time in America.

You do miss Jordan while you’re out here though but you’ve been able to FaceTime her, Blu and Tater-Tot as well.

You’re excited to be able to see them when you’re home!

“Hey, pipsqueak!” You hear the familiar Australian voice of Monkey’s best friend and partner in crime, Kyra, “Where’s your Arsenal top?” She jokes.

“Couldn’t wear it no more,” You pout in disappointment, your fingers touching the hem of your new t-shirt which isn’t as cool as your own Arsenal one.

“Aw, no. That’s a shame, but don’t worry you still look cool in that one!” Kyra notices your glum expression and gives you a sympathetic smile, “And hey, you’re wearing green now!” She winks, trying to lift your spirits.

“Yeah, you’re reppin’ leprechauns’ colours now!” Monkey jokes as she chips in on the conversation, although you're not entirely sure who she is talking about.

“Oi, I heard that,” Katie chimes in, rolling her eyes playfully.

Monkey just laughs, “Good, you were meant to,” She says before she ruffles your hair knowing it’ll wind you up, “Glad that you’re feeling better, Buddy!”

“Monkey, stop!” You do your best to perfect the glare that is almost identical to Leah’s.

The girl holds her hands up in mock surrender, “Oh, now I know you’re feeling better if you’re scowling at me like Mum does,” She jokes, sticking her tongue out at Leah for good measure.

“Oi, watch it you," Leah fires back with her own stern look, though there’s a hint of amusement in her eyes, “Go on, go start warming up, Menace.”

“God, you’re always so bossy,” Monkey remarks, rolling her eyes dramatically but not without a smirk.

“Go on, go, Menace,” Leah says, pointing toward the sidelines with an exasperated shake of her head.

Monkey huffs dramatically but gets up from her seat, dragging her feet a little for the show, “Fine, alright, I’m goin’ now,” She mutters, throwing one last playful glance over her shoulder as she finally makes her way to the pitch.

“That girl sometimes, eh?” Beth chuckles amusedly after she watched Monkey’s theatrical exit from the seats.

“Tell me about it,” Leah replies, adjusting the sun hat on your head to keep the sun out of your eyes, “She’s a pain in the butt sometimes, but we love her, don’t we, Buddy?”

“Monkey’s my favourite person,” You declare confidently, snuggling closer to Leah.

Beth dramatically gasps in outrage, clutching her chest as if she’s been mortally wounded, “What? I thought I was your favourite person!”

“No, that’s me,” Katie pipes up from the other side of Beth, her tone playful.

“No, you’re both silly!” You giggle at the pair of them, “Monkey’s my favourite!”

“I’m offended,” Beth continues to faux upset as she keeps one arm around Rory, who’s still grumpy because she misses Viv, “I’m your favourite, right, Roo?” She asks her daughter.

“Yeah,” Rory agrees quietly, fiddling with the hem of her own Arsenal football shirt that had Beth’s name and number on the back of it.

“Well at least my daughter agrees,” Beth jokes, trying to lighten the mood, though she sneaks a glance at Rory, who’s clearly not her usual cheerful self.

Leah notices the exchange and leans a bit closer to Rory, “You know, Roo, I know you’re missing your Mamma but she’s going to be so happy to see you when you’re back home. I bet she can’t wait to hear all about your time here.”

Rory looks up to Leah with a small smile at the mention of Viv bringing her a bit of comfort, “Really?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Leah nods, her voice warm and reassuring, “And just think of the big hug she’s going to give you when you see her again. She’s going to want to hear every single detail.”

Rory’s smile grows a little wider, and she finally relaxes a bit against Beth, “I miss her,” She admits softly to the blonde.

“I know, sweetheart,” Beth says gently, rubbing her daughter’s back, “I miss her too, but Auntie Le is right. Mamma is going to be so excited to hear about everything that you’ve been up to.”

Leah gives Rory a warm smile before she looks between the two of you, “I think I might have an idea to cheer you girls up after the game,” She pauses, “I think we should get some ice cream! What do you think?”

“Ice cream!” You squeal in excitement, you sure do love ice cream a whole lot.

Beth laughs at your enthusiasm and peers down to look at Rory, “Oh ice cream does sound good, doesn’t it, Roo?”

Rory’s face brightens a bit at the suggestion, “I like ice cream,” She tells Leah with a small smile.

“I know you do,” Leah says, giving Rory a soft smile, “And you know who else likes ice cream? That big kid over there,” She gestures onto the field where the subs board is being changed for Monkey to go on to the pitch along with Kyra, Steph and Caitlin.

“Monkey likes ice cream a lot!” You reply in agreement.

“Yeah she does, so we’ll have to make sure that Monkey doesn’t eat it all before we get there.” Leah jokes, playfully.

“No, Monkey can’t eat it all!” You whine in protest, knowing that Monkey also likes ice cream as well, “You have to stop her, Mummy!”

“Don’t worry we will,” Leah laughs in amusement, “Look, she’s about to go on the pitch now so you can watch her,” She points with her index finger to where Monkey is racing onto the pitch.

“Go, Monkey! Go!” You shout enthusiastically, waving your little hand in the air in support of your favourite person.

Monkey spins around and looks over in the direction where you are and quickly waves back before she gets her head focused on the game, running all over the pitch with a burst of energy that matches her whole personality.

“Mummy, you and Auntie Beth look silly!” You can’t help but giggle at the current way that Leah and Beth both have the brightly coloured yellow bibs on their sun to protect their heads from the sun.

You don’t have that problem though, since you’ve got your own pink sun hat to keep your head safe.

“It’s the only way to keep us from getting too hot,” Leah tells you as she laughs, “I’m not fortunate to have a sun hat like you do, bubba.” She explains.

“Yeah, where can I get one of those lovely pink hats?” Beth chips in, her tone playful as she nudges you slightly.

“Mine,” You giggle at the blonde’s playful antics.

“I can’t see her,” You whine in protest, losing track of seeing your favourite person running with the ball.

“She’s over there, see?” Leah gestures to where Monkey’s running on the pitch with the ball under her feet, “Do you see her now, bubba?” She questions.

“I do! I do!” You squeal in excitement and clap your hands enthusiastically.

You find it hard to keep up with the rest of the match, the heat was relentless and despite Leah’s best efforts to still keep you cool and comfortable, it’s not long before you feel agitated again with it so your enthusiastic mood dips once again.

“It’s hot,” You whine pitfully, shifting around in discomfort.

“I know it is, bubba. It won’t be long until the match is over now,” Leah tries her best to reassure you, using a programme that she got her hands on to fan you and keep you cool again, “You don’t feel sick again, do you?”

“Nuh uh, just hot,” You grumble in disagreement with the heat. 

You miss home and the terrible weather, it’s not always hot there like it is here.

There’s a quick water break and you notice as Monkey comes bounding off the pitch, her energy still high despite the intensity of the game, though she spots you squirming in Leah’s lap and immediately notices your discomfort.

“What’s wrong, Buddy?” She jogs over, her face flushed but she still has her usual bright smile, taking the towel that she was just handed over to Leah to give to you as she knows you’re more in need of it right now, “This might help a little bit.”

“Thanks, Monkey,” Leah thanks the girl appreciatively, adjusting the damp towel over your shoulders to help you cool down.

“Anything for my favourite little buddy,” Monkey shrugs her shoulders, taking small sips of her own water bottle as she gets her usual mischievous glint in her eye, not thinking twice before she sprays a little cool water over you from the bottle, “Gotcha, now gotta go. Buh-bye!” With that, she drops the bottle and rushes back onto the pitch to carry out the rest of the game.

“M’ wet now,” You pout up at Leah, who chuckles softly and shakes her head.

“Monkey is a menace, isn’t she?” Leah asks, her eyes twinkling with amusement, “Don’t worry, you can get her back when she least expects it.” She adds, playfully.

“Yeah, I’ll get her back!” You smile cheekily, snuggling against Leah as you attempt to watch the rest of the match play out with the opposing team.

You’ve never been more grateful for a match to end as the heat is unbearable and once the final whistle blows, you peer up to look at Leah with hopeful eyes with the idea in mind to seek out Monkey on the pitch, and get your own back with the water bottle, “Can we go see Monkey now?” You ask.

“Come on, bubba,” Leah replies in agreement, taking a hold of your hand as she carefully helps you down the big steps that lead out to the pitch, “Do you see her?” She asks.

“Yes!” You spot her straight away as she has also spotted you and starts to race towards you, “I see her!” Letting go off Leah’s hand, you run towards her.

“Ah, my favourite little Buddy!” Monkey grins and lifts you up into her arms before she proceeds to spin you around, “Did you like the match?”

“Lots of goals scored!” You nod enthusiastically.

“Careful or she’ll be sick,” Leah states wearily as she finishes high fiving with the other team before she makes her way back to you both, “And then you’ll be the one to deal with it.”

“I know, I know. I’ve got her,” Monkey replies, holding you close to her as she walks back to join the post-match huddle with the team, standing on the other side of Leah.

“Proud of you out there, my girl,” Leah tells her, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead.

“What about me?” You ask, pouting at her.

Leah smiles and gently prieses you from Monkey’s arms, “I’m proud of you too, my little bubba,” She says, keeping you close as she listens to the post-match talk with Jonas and the rest of the team.

“Get down now please,” You ask politely, wanting to run about and kick the ball on the pitch now the match is over, you’re not so keen to listen to all the grown ups talk about stuff that you’re not sure about and maybe now Rory would play football with you?

“Don’t wander off,” Leah murmurs protectively, kneeling down to place you back on the floor, trying to pay attention to the post-match chat but more concerned about you wandering off somewhere unknown, though there’s a high chance of that happening when there’s a lot of staff here.

“Kick the ball with me, Roo!” You ask your cousin, who agrees with you and the two of you wander off to the stray football on the pitch, “Kick it, Roo!” You exclaim, pointing to the ball.

“I can’t believe you’re playing football without me,” Monkey gasps dramatically, making way to join your football game as you guess the chat must have finished now.

“I wanna join as well!” Kyra chimes in, joining the makeshift game with you, Monkey and Rory.

“Looks like your mini-me’s are putting you both to shame,” Caitlin jokes with Leah, seeing you put the ball in the back of the net before Monkey chucks you up on her shoulders to celebrate the goal.

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Leah laughs, shaking her head in amusement before making her way to greet her friend and follow England team mate, Esme Morgan.

You want to continue to kick the ball around, but your attention has been diverted to the white and red Gunner branded cowboy hat that Leah’s been handed, and so has Monkey’s as well.

“Howdyyyyy!” You hear Leah shout loudly from the other side of the pitch.

“Ooo, I want it!” Monkey bolts in the direction to where Leah is standing alongside Lia and Amanda on the other side of the barrier to block off the pitch.

“Wait for me, Monkey. I got little legs!” You whine and run after her, not wanting to be left out.

“Mine, I call dibs!” Monkey shouts aloud, trying and failing to reach for the hat on top of Leah��s head due to her short height, “No fair, gimme. I want it!”

“But it’s mine,” Leah retorts with a laugh, amused to watch Monkey try and get it from her, “Get your own hat, Menace.”

“No fair, I want it though– It would look better on me!” Monkey grumbles, doing her best to still and grab a hold of the hat, jumping and stretching her arms up.

“Fine,” Leah rolls her eyes with your favourite persons persistence and takes it off her own hat to plonk on her own, “There you go, Cowgirl.” She teases, patting her on the head.

“Thanks, Malfoy. You’re the best!” Monkey grins, happy with the hat for a few seconds before she shocks everyone around her and takes it off to gently place it on top of your own head, “Howdy, Cowgirl.”

“Cowboy hat!” You squeal in excitement.

“That was kind of you. I didn’t think you’d be willing to give it up so quickly,” Leah tells the younger girl, momentarily taken aback by Monkey’s sweet gesture to give it to you instead,

“It’ll help protect her from the sun,” Monkey tells her, trying to not make a big deal out of it, “Oh I’ll be back, I hear someone calling my name.” With that, she dips in the direction of a group of fans calling over to her, asking her to sign their shirts.

“Superstar on the pitch and fan favourite,” Lia jokes from where she stands beside Leah, speaking to other fans as well, watching out of the corner of her eye as one of the fans gave Monkey a white plush jellycat bunny.

“More like Menace,” Leah replies in amusement, taking the time to chat to Amanda in the stands as she lifts you into her arms so you can see her as well.

“Are you feeling better now, sweetheart?” Amanda questions in concern, not liking to see you so unsettled in any situation.

“Better now,” You nod in agreement, snuggling up closer to Leah while keeping the red and white cowboy hat on your head.

“It’s just a very hot day isn’t it,” Leah coos, doing her best to protect you from the harsh sun, “We’re going to get ice cream after this to help with the heat, aren’t we?”

“Ice cream!” You reply enthusiastically.

“Whoa, ice cream? That sounds great,” Amanda exclaims with a hint of playfulness in your voice, “You had better make sure that Monkey doesn’t eat it all.” She jokes.

“I heard my name,” Monkey pops up with the newfound white rabbit clutched in her hand, “Here you go, Buddy. This is yours,” She hands the rabbit to you.

“Thank ‘ou!” You take a hold of the fluffy rabbit and snuggle up closely to it.

“Hang on a second,” Leah says, shifting you to one arm while she uses her other hand to rest on the back of Monkey’s forehead, playfully pretending to check her temperature.

“What’re you doin’?” Monkey asks, confused, trying to bat Leah’s hand away from her face.

“Checking if you’re not coming down with something,” Leah responds, laughing slightly as she pulls her hand away, “Since when do you willingly give Jellycats away?”

“I’m just being nice!” Monkey insists, shrugging her shoulders, “It’s not a big deal, Buddy’s not having a great day and I thought it would cheer her up.”

“That’s really sweet of you to do something like that, Monkey,” Amanda states, kindly.

“It was,” Lia chimes in agreement.

Although Leah isn’t all that convinced, “What’re you after? If this is your way of trying to get out of being grounded after that stunt you pulled at home, think again,” She states, reminding the girl of what happened prior to your trip to America.

“It’s not I swear, I just… I thought it would cheer her up,” Monkey admits, looking sheepishly as she doesn’t know if anyone else is aware of what happened with the TV back home but she’s not about to tell anyone about it, regardless.

Leah eyes her for a moment longer before her expression softens, “Alright, I believe you. Now, how about we go and get that ice cream, huh?” She wonders.

Your own eyes light up at the mention of ice cream and you nod enthusiastically, “Ice cream!” You exclaim, clutching a hold of your new bunny, “Auntie Beth and Roo coming as well?”

“Course we are,” Beth pipes up from where she walks over to you all from the other side of the pitch with Rory in tow, “We wouldn’t miss out on the chance to get ice cream now, would we?”

“Ice cream!” Rory repeats enthusiastically, bouncing up and down on her feet, eager for the sweet treat.

Leah laughs at the enthusiasm, “Alright, ice cream it is. Before we go, we need to get changed out of our kits first,” She gestures between herself, Beth and Monkey, “We don’t want to be sitting in these sweaty clothes while we eat.”

Monkey groans playfully, clearly impatient, “Can’t we just go as we are? I want ice cream now!” She whines, dragging out the last word in complaint.

Leah chuckles at the younger girl’s impatience, shaking her head, “Come on Menace, it won’t take that long,” She reassures her, taking her by the arm and leading her back toward the changing rooms, with Beth and Rory following close behind.

You stay outside with Lia and Amanda, who keeps you entertained while you wait and it doesn’t take long before Leah, Beth, Monkey and Rory reemerge, now dressed in cooler, more comfortable outfits.

“Now we get ice cream?” You ask eagerly, practically bouncing on your toes.

“Yes, bubba, now we’ll go and get ice cream,” Leah confirms with a smile, ruffling your hair gently.

With everyone ready, the group heads off to find the nearest ice cream stand. You race ahead with Rory and Monkey, all of your excitement infectious as the adults follow behind, chatting amongst themselves.

“Ooo, I want mint chocolate chip!” Monkey calls out eagerly, practically bouncing with anticipation.

“Strawberry,” Rory chimes in, her eyes already scanning the ice cream options as you approach the stand.

Leah smiles down at you as you look at the bright menu in front of you, “How about you, bubba?” She asks, her voice gentle as she watches you contemplate the choices.

You glance at the colourful display of flavours, each one more tempting than the last, “Ummm… chocolate,” You start, then spot the bubblegum and your eyes light up, “Nuh uh, wait– I wan’ bubblegum, Mummy!”

The blonde laughs at your excitement, “Bubblegum it is then, bubba,” She says, giving your hand a gentle squeeze before checking what everyone else wanted in the small group and placing the order.

“Mm, this ice cream is great,” Lia says, savouring the treat.

Amanda nods in agreement with the Swiss woman, “Are you enjoying that, sweetheart?” She chuckles as she watches you dive into your ice cream with enthusiasm and end up getting it all around your face.

“Messy bubba,” Leah teases, wiping away some of the ice cream with a napkin as her tone is filled with affection.

“This has gotta be the best ice cream I’ve ever tasted!” Monkey exclaims, eyes wide with satisfaction.

Beth laughs and nudges her slightly, “I swear you say that every time you have ice cream,” She teases as she peers down at Rory, “How is it, Roo?”

“So good, Mummy!” Rory replies with a big smile, “I like it!”

“That’s cos’ it’s the best ice cream I’ve ever tasted!” Monkey states as a matter of fact, “Can’t prove me wrong on that one!”

“Alright, menace. It is good ice cream,” Leah rolls her eyes and laughs in agreement with your favourite person, taking another bite of her own treat as she enjoys the moment with everyone around her.

It was only the beginning of preseason in America, but she is determined to make it fun for you.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[ohnoitstbskyen]

Oh no. Sir I believe I'm going to need you to explain that Dragon Age 2 opinion, that is a BLAZING hot take

I really don't think it is. Although of course all of this is personal opinion, not some sort of divine proclamation on high about which video games people are allowed to prefer, so take please it in the spirit it is offered.

Origins is a worldbuilding walking tour as much about explaining its own in-universe lore and fantasy history as it is about either its characters or the actual story that is happening in the game. It's a cool world! With some great lore! But also it is built entirely around Generic Fantasy Plot Structure #1 and never particularly seems interested in innovating, or surprising the player. On top of which, a lot of its setting and lore is pretty weakly sketched and doesn't really get developed into something either visually or narratively compelling until it gets built out in later games.

And while Inquisition has some genuinely fantastic characters, everything else about the game suffers very badly from the plague of BioWare Magic™, i.e. the production was an absolute mess up until the last minute when five hundred extremely overworked and underpaid creative geniuses somehow managed to wring a functional experience out of the trainwreck. It was made with fucking Frostbite of all things, jesus christ, it's holding together with spit and duct tape.

Now, Dragon Age 2 shares a bunch of the problems of Origins and Inquisition. It too bears the hallmarks of "our executives couldn't plan a healthy game production cycle if their lives depended on it" with a lot of unfinished content, half-assed sidequests and a truly frustrating over-reliance on a combat system that isn't half as engaging to use as it needed to be.

But Dragon Age 2 also has something neither of its siblings could ever even hope to match: an actual compelling protagonist.

Like, listen, I know people adore their headcanons about their Wardens and Inquisitors, and it has made for some truly amazing fanworks, but Hawke is literally the only actual character out of all of them. Hawke has conflicts, problems, needs and drives that actually inform and push the story forward, they have a family and a history and a reason to give a sh** about the central conflict of the narrative.

In Origins and Inquisition both, your character becomes the main character of the story entirely because of fate and random chance. You are the Chosen One and you are the only one who can Save The World because you're the last of the super special elite fantasy Hero Squad, or because you got some green magic stuck in your hand by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Because the character is a complete blank slate onto which the player is expected to project themselves, random chance and circumstance are the only tools the plot can use to position them as main characters. There is no character to drive them to it.

In Dragon Age 2, Hawke becomes the champion because they're trying to build a new life for their family in Kirkwall, and end up embroiled in the chaos and politics that befall the city as a natural consequence of living in it and dealing with the conditions of it. Hawke and their family's needs and wants drive their actions, and push them to engage in endeavors that influence the course of history. They have agency (in the conceit of the narrative, at least) over how their life turns out, they make choices that have consequences, rather than being dictated into the position of Main Character by a literal looming apocalypse that permits no other course of action.

And I'm not about to sit here and claim that Dragon Age 2's story is perfect or that every character is a masterpiece or that every plotline is amazing. No, there's plenty of scuff and jank and things that have aged poorly and unresolved plot threads and all the rest of it.

And I am definitely not forgetting the godsdamned DLC where BioWare threw it all overboard by inventing a Special Bloodline Plot where oops it turns out Hawke actually IS a special chosen one specially chosen by a special fate to have a special role in Saving The World because they're special because of fate and destiny and blah blah, I still think that was phenomenally stupid (especially when Corypheus wasn't even Hawke's goddamn main villain to deal with what was any of this supposed to add to their character ffs BioWare)

But even with all its problems, the simple fact that Hawke is a character you can give a shit about independent of your own projection as a player - the fact that Hawke isn't just an empty bland blank slate with no personality, no traits, no wants or needs or drives - that has made Dragon Age 2 infinitely more memorable to me than either Origins and Inquisition. I think about it to this day. I think about Hawke to this day. I care about what happens to the character in a way that I just simply could never bring myself to do with either my Wardens or my Inquisitors.

[ienjoywritingfilth]

Love me More

Wow you guys really liked the M.A. story and it made me feel so good that I finished this filthy little tale in record time. thanks for reblogging and commenting i'm still trying to get the hang of everything here. - IEWF

pairing: dbf!Joel x fem!reader

trope: Mom's Boyfriend! Javier Pena

summary: After some great news you're in the best mood when your Mom's boyfriend Javier comes over. What's the harm in a little fun with him while she's not there?

warnings: age gap (not specified), sexual tension, forbidden rel, absolutely filthy talk, daddy mentioned, other shit but I've probs forgotten.

word count: 2.5k

rating 18+

wanna see my other stuff?

The email comes through while you’re in the living room, watching television. A bleep on your phone as you swipe up, opening gmail.

Congratulations, we’d like to offer you the position of-

You don’t read further, you just jump off the couch and pump your fist in the air.

“FUCK YEA!”

The promotion came through on your job which means starting next month you'll officially have enough to move out of your alcoholic mom's shitty apartment. She's one of those talented ones that still has a job, is still likeable, but can't get through her evening without a tallboy or seven. 

A knock sounds at the door while you compose the text to your friends quickly, nearly vibrating with excitement. You’re so close to what you’ve always wanted. A knock sounds at the door as

you rack your mind trying to think of all the people that could be stopping by.

You creep towards the door, peering into the peephole to see a tired looking Javier Peña smoking and standing there. 

Javier is your mom's new boyfriend and drinking buddy. He just moved into the apartment next door and your mother wasted no time getting to know him. She's always had a thing for inscrutable men. 

You're perfectly cordial to the parade of men that come through the front door of you home, and have since your father left for Punta Cana with his secretary five years ago. 

Javier is perfectly nice; he's just one of many in a long line of your mother's bed partners. You don't get too attached. 

"Hi Javier," you offer, opening the door a little wider. "What's up?" 

"Came by to see your mama," Javier says glancing at his watch. "She said she'd be home by now."

Normally you'd tell him he was mistaken so he'll fuck off. But after the great day you had you're in an impossibly good mood. You step back to open the door with a polite smile. 

"Sometimes she works overtime," you explain. "She should be home soon though. You wanna come in and wait?"

Javier debates this and then finally nods, flicking his cigarette off into the night before moving inside. He follows after you. You swan through the room, picking up your pizza plate and glancing at him over your shoulder. 

"Want a beer?"

"Sure."

You're giddy with everything that happened today. Excited with the thought of moving somewhere new, somewhere bright and fresh. This puts you in high spirits as you grab you both a bottle of Corona and head back. 

Javier takes a place on the couch, watching what you'd been enjoying in the background. 

"You watch black and white movies?"

"Sometimes," you shrug when you come back with two sweating beer bottles. You hand him his and take a seat next to him on the couch. 

The couch isn't huge so your thighs are touching his as you take a sip from your beer bottle. He doesn't move away, doesn't move closer, just sits there politely staring ahead. 

"Never seen this movie," Javier comments, clearing his throat. "S'that Joan Crawford?"

"Yep. It's called Mildred Pierce. It's an old classic film noir," you offer, fingers itching to grab the remote.

You watch Javier's lean throat bobs as he drinks his beer. You take a slow sip of yours, never crazy about the taste, only the buzz it brings. Unlike your mom you’re done after two beers.

"I think I saw the Kate Winslet one," he offers. "Remake I guess."

"Mhm." 

You see his dark gaze flicks to you out the corner of his eyes, sliding over your bare legs before jerking back to the television. When you shift and he does it a second time you realize he's checking you out. 

You should be repulsed or even horrified. But instead you're amused, even tingly at the prospect that this man finds you attractive. He's certainly easy on the eyes in his short sleeve button down and pouty mouth. Is he mewing? A quick glance tells you his jeans are tight and that even flaccid his cock is big. 

You have no desire to seduce your mother's boyfriend. The thought is reprehensible, but the flattery of being found desirable by an older, attractive man is a heady drug. 

You stretch yourself out, raising your arms above your head and giving a dramatic groan. A sliver of your belly shows and you see through your hair as Javier takes another peek at your body before shuffling slightly. 

"You, uh, like old movies?" 

"I've always had a love of older things," you purr. 

Javier is silent at that, his fingers tightening around his beer bottle. You can sense that he's uncomfortable and it amuses you greatly. 

Are he and your mom an established couple? Is this serious? You have noticed him around lately but that's your mother's way of things. Burn through them fast. Besides you're not going to be here in a month. 

What's the harm in a little fun? 

You hide a smirk and rise up. With a measured agility you lean towards the coffee table, gripping his knee to help propel you forward. You reach with your other hand to grab the remote. You feel when your shorts ride up, exposing most of your ass. You sense Javier's eyes on you and you make sure to arch, letting him get a good long view, squeezing his knee when you lean back against the cushion. You notice his cheeks are pink. 

This is too fun. 

"I always thought it was so sexy," you explain patiently, raising the remote to turn up the volume. 

"If I recall it doesn't end very sexy for them," Javier swallows. He's refusing to look in your direction. 

"Yeah but the buildup is the best part," you murmur. "All that sexual tension, knowing you wanna fuck but knowing it's so wrong?"

You see the moment the words hit him because Javier goes as still as a statue. He's barely breathing, not moving a fraction and you wonder if he's trying to focus on not getting hard. 

You hold back a giggle at the thought and lean towards him, your mouth drawing near to his ear. 

"You ever wanted to fuck someone knowing its wrong, Javi?"

Javier says nothing, but you don't miss the dart of his eyes to your chest and then back to the television. Your hand goes to his thigh, fingertips inching upwards. Javier's eyes immediately fly to your fingers and their lazy ascent up his thigh. You bite your lower lip to keep the grin from bleeding over your face. You're not going any further than this; you've had your fun. 

You pull your hand from his leg, placing it in your lap. Javier lifts his eyes up the length of your body before locking his gaze with yours. He raises a hand to the back of the couch, nostrils flaring.

Shit.

Can he smell your arousal? Can he hear the sudden tick of your pulse? Can he sense the shift that just occurred?

He licks his lower lip slowly, his large eyes glued to your mouth. Your lips part as your breathing deepens.

Fuck has he always been this sexy?

Javier’s eyes are black with arousal, shining with lust and you feel your core tighten at how he’s staring at you; like he’s an animal waiting to devour prey. You shouldn’t be turned on by that. You shouldn’t want him to close the distance between your bodies.

Tension crackles in the air and the scent of his aftershave wafts in the air around you. It’s spicy and sweet and mingles with the scent of cigarette smoke. You can physically feel your arousal soaking your panties.

“Javier---“

He doesn’t look like he heard you; he’s too intent on staring at your mouth, deaf to everything else. If he’s anything like you, the blood is rushing in his ears.  You squirm. Javier begins to slide towards you on the couch, his body moving with a feline grace.

The both of you hear the key hit the apartment lock at the same time. Javier jerks back from you just in time for the door to swing open and your mother to come blowing in. 

"I'm home!" 

Your mother's voice breaks into the room and you see Javier's face break into a guilty looking smile. 

"Hey gorgeous." 

"I'm so sorry I'm late Javi!" Your mother pouts, coming to throw herself into his lap. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him into a kiss as you hold in a gag. 

"I hope my daughter was hospitable to you while I was gone." 

She gives a wink in your direction that you return with a polite smile. Javier grips your mom around the middle, holding her there in his lap and refusing to look in your direction. 

"Yep," he nods. "Very. Got me a beer and everything." 

"That's my girl," your mom says with a proud smile. 

You're about to reply when you think of the text you haven't sent. Of your promotion. Your game with Javier is done. You press a kiss to your mom's temple and bid them both a goodnight before heading to your bedroom with your Corona.

You pull on your pyjamas, tired from the day. It's warm tonight, so a light tank and sleep shorts will have to do. You pull out your phone, sending off a few texts to your friends to tell them about the good news.

We gotta go out to celebrate sluuuuutttt

You smile at the message from your oldest friend Harper. The one who loves to party more than anyone you know.

There's a knock on your bedroom door an hour or so later and you open it, surprised to see Javier standing there looking nervous. He scans your body clocking the short shorts and the way your nipples peek through your shirt. 

"Your mom's just in the shower," Javier tells you quietly, taking a step back. "Then we're going out to dinner." 

You can hear the shower running down at the end of the hall.

"Mhm," you nod, distracted by your phone on the bed that just beeped. 

"You eat yet?"

"Nah, didn't feel hungry," you offer. "Where you guys going?"

"Dunno. Maybe that Mexican place down the street." 

The two of you lapse into uncomfortable silence, you balancing on one foot as you watch him avoid your eyes. You bite back amusement when his dark eyes dart to your chest and then back to the floor.  

"You want us to bring you anything back?"

There's a sweetness in him asking if you want anything. Something that almost feels paternal. But the way he keeps sneaking looks at your tits is anything but. 

The shower is still going and emboldened by the buzz from your beer you take a step towards Javier in the hallway. He stands watching you, chest rising shallowly as you press your front to his, standing on your tiptoes. 

"You don't have to take care of me," you purr at his ear. "'I don't need you to be my daddy." 

You feel rather than hear the shudder that goes through him at the term and you hold in a laugh. You hand finds his bicep, squeezing there and you ensure your voice is a seductive whisper when you speak next. 

"Unless, you wanna be my daddy, Javi. Is that it? Or do you just want me to call you daddy?" 

He swallows and you step back, biting your lower lip. Javier looks like he's run a marathon. Pupils blown wide, lips slightly parted, neck growing damp with sweat. The shower squeaks off and like a whistle he seems to come back to himself.  Javier steps back as you move backwards into your bedroom. 

"Have a good dinner," you tell him with a wink. 

And before he can say anything you've stepped back, closing the door gently in his face. 

You muffle your laughter with your pillow, listening to hear Javier standing outside your room a moment longer before his footsteps recede into the other bedroom.

You hear he and your mother chatting, mumbles through the thin walls and you bring up your phone to see what the alert was.

There’s this guy here at the club u neeed to fuck. He’s so criminally fine.

Attached is a photo of the most aggressively mid man you’ve ever seen. Just Harper being Harper.

It’s Tuesday Harper.

So what? Fucking doesn’t happen during the week?

Not for me. My job just got harder remember!?

You can almost see your friend rolling her eyes.

Have fun being a boring ass nun. c u on the weekend. Imma get you shitfaced n help you celebrate your promotion properly.

You write back something sarcastic before you give a yawn and crawl under your covers. You set the alarm on your phone before you start the classic evening tradition of wasting good sleeping time on tiktok. You scroll on your feed for a bit, feeling your eyelids grow heavy when a noise draws your attention. 

It takes you a moment before you realize it's the clack of your mother's metal bed frame hitting the wall across the hall.  

"Fuck yes, Javi!"

Classic Mom shit. Whenever she drinks she's loud and hyper sexual. But you thought they were going for dinner? You hear your mother cooing his name again, her begging in a pathetic whine that grates your nerves. You reach for your headphones when something stops you. 

"Fucking tease." 

You think you've misheard because instead of your mother's theatrical moans you hear his rasping baritone. Punched out groans at first, slowly building with every thrust. 

"Fucking tease acting like that."

You think you're imagining it at first. He's never been vocal before - only grunting and moaning. He's never spoken like this in the bedroom and that alone has you fascinated. 

"Take it, yeah, take it you fucking slut."

And in between these rasped epithets you hear your mother's groans, her encouragement and then her gentle begs for him to go harder.

"You're messing with the wrong man you little whore," he huffs, his hips slapping against her ass. "Think you can fuck with me and get away with it?"

Your mother's moans are muffled, likely because her face is smooshed in her pillow. He's undoubtedly fucking her from behind, facing the wall, facing your bedroom. 

"You're gonna pay for it."

And then as the groan of the mattress and the creak of the bed frame hit a fever pitch you hear Javier, his voice a tight hiss. 

"Daddy's gonna wreck that tight little cunt. Gonna fuck you so full of my cum you cry for me to stop. Gonna show you w-"

The thought remains forever unfinished because you hear the telltale groan of completion, your mother's high pitched whinnies, the noisy concert of smacks and wet plunging and then finally silence. 

You know that wasn't for your mother's benefit. He wasn't saying it about her. He was saying it about you. 

The thought has your pussy pounding. You thrust your hand down you panties only to find you're so wet you can barely believe it. 

It's only seconds before you bring yourself off to the filth Javier just spewed before trembling violently under the covers. Images of his mouth on your cunt and his cock fucking into you have you shuddering as another orgasm overtakes the first, leaving you wrung out and panting as you realize: you are so fucked.

[trials-of-a-spirit-worker]

Spirit Work Basics

You voted, I listened. I meant it. So buckle up as we go through the basics of Spirit Work.

I've touched on this on other posts but I'll make a massive post here. This is not going to explain everything and will still be pretty broad. Cause I do not have the time, the knowledge, nor patience to try and explain EVERYTHING.

But I do hope it helps.

Look under the tags advice, spirit communication, spirit work for more detail.

So hello, I'm Sol. I've been working with spirits since I realized I was speaking with them. I had the gift since I was a young child, first spirit I saw being my grandfather on my father's side shortly after he passed away. He was a pastor, supposedly, I was doing the best I could to repeat his favorite verses despite me being a small little shit. I don't remember the verses, I do remember speaking to him a lot however.

Which is where we'll begin, how to speak to spirits.

Maybe she's born with it? Maybe it's insanity~♪

Well, how do we begin with speaking with spirits? There's a number of ways, actually. Some do have the natural ability, like myself but that shouldn't discourage people who are newly trying and don't have that natural affinity for it. Spirits can and will talk to anyone if you open yourself up. Just takes a bit of work. But Sol, you may ask, how do I do that?

If you've been on witchblr for a bit you know what I'm about to say next: Yup.

Meditate.

Now listen, meditation is a way to open yourself up to the spirits around you or just at least signal "hey, I'm open to talk to." It gives you a good sense of your own energy and the energy around you. Meditation doesn't have one look either. A lot of people can't just sit still and kept their legs crossed or be on their knees with their eyes closed (I see you ADHD/ADD people). Hell, my lazy ass will meditate lying down.

Literally the definition of Meditation: to engage in mental exercise (such as concentration on one's breathing or repetition of a mantra) for the purpose of reaching a heightened level of spiritual awareness. transitive verb. : to focus one's thoughts on : reflect on or ponder over. (merriam webster)

It's pretty broad, right? Hell, you can even work out and meditate. I do it all the time. Cause I focus on my breathing and the feeling of energy through my body. Basically you can get creative with it.

While you're meditating, make sure you're feeling your own energy. This can come in a number of ways; waves, your heartbeat, a feeling of something cloaking you etc. While you have that feeling down, envision an opening, whether its a door, or just acknowledging you're reaching out to the other side. Whether or not you get an answer back, you are putting yourself out there and that's half the battle done. Just be sure to know how to close yourself and ward your body. Spirit work and opening yourself like that is no joke and I'd like you to be safe.

To do that, just envision whatever you had opened closed or recede back or whatever you used that worked for you.

Signs to Look for

Some of the more common tells of a spirit hearing and trying to communicate are of the following:

Small echos/voices in the back of your head

Random thoughts that may not be your own

Knocks or things shuffling

Strange dreams

Small phantom touches

Feelings of being watched

And Many More!

"But Sol," some of you might say, "that's really fucking vague and could just be explained away."

Yeah...welcome to spirit work. You thought this shit was easy?!

You have to work on your discernment. It is a skill needed for this type of work.

Seems counterproductive, but it's not! See, if every bump and noise was reported as ghosts or spirits, well...we'd be even less believed than we already are. When doing spirit work, or ghost hunting, you are stuck with the burden of proof and it's a huge burden to have. This is why people ask for repeats of actions, to speak again in recorders and other things. We're asking for repetition, because science is prevalent, especially in spiritualism and occultism. We have to be our own skeptics so when we have something that can't be explained away, we truly have something to celebrate.

Tools on the Job

No one said you had to do this all on vibes. No shame in using tools. I'll more than likely take the time to make specific posts about each tool in the future cause this post is already really long but I'll give you a nice rundown of basic tools.

By the way anyone who tries to shame you for using tools or says "only trainee or baby witches use this or that" are tools themselves (not the good or useful kind) and should not be given the time of day. Tools are fine. Use them for help if you need it because that's what the fuck a tool is for.

Now these aren't all the tools you can use but I'll give you some well known ones. I've seen witches get real creative and it's honestly super cool watching them use strange things that you'd never think about as a witchcraft tool. But that's what makes it so fun.

Tarot cards

Tarot is something I often use. 78 cards all with different meanings. There's many many ways to interpret them and multiple themes that many of them have.

My best advice for these are to just look up the overall meanings both upright and reversed just to have a general consensus of each card. Play around with them a lot, and interpret them the way you would as if you were making a story with them. You can also use them for spirit communication.

Calling forth a spirit allowing them to touch the deck (just leave it for a moment and allow them to influence the deck as it were before doing the spread). Holds a lot of power in your hands but is a little slow.

Pendulum

A pendulum is usually a crystal tied to a string or a chain that can be swung over a board of either yes or no or maybe for its options. Sometimes there is a mock ouija for the pendulum to spell out things as well.

Cool thing about a pendulum is it can be anything that swings if you wish. Some people I've seen take off their necklace and use it as a pendulum just fine. Just have a singular point and you can get to work anywhere with it. Please make sure to ward yourself from invading or malevolent spirits when you do this though.

Lots of pendulum or spirit boards exist and have different templates as well.

This is more of a call and response type of device to use. Especially when you feel a spirit present Still has a fair bit of control in your hands.

Ouija board

The infamous kids game works around the same way a pendulum does, except there is a planchette that slides over the board. This is a call and response based tool much like a pendulum. However, it is a little easier for the ghost to manipulate and control. Which is where all the stupid stories of ghosts completely taking over and fucking up shit takes place. Also, half of the biggest problems are just humans being humans which means victims of groupthink. So... stupidity. Someone freaked so you all freak...the energy gets bad and shit happens. Do your best to remain calm and just work through it.

Also no. ZOZO XOX 2O2O etc does not want your ass. Many spirits claim that shit to get a rise out of you anyway. Guys...no, I swear it does not happen. This is main character energy that none of us have...or want! Even if a demonic entity came in to fuck with you, there are plenty of other ways to do it. Be fucking for real.

Please remain kind and courteous to who you contact. Do not let your paranoia about this tool make you do stupid things. Always say goodbye when you are finished. Try and stay as calm as you can.

Never. Ever leave the planchette on the board unattended. Lest you get an unwanted guest or one that'll overstay their welcome.

Crystal Ball

Crystal Balls are a good way to detect energies. This is normally used in a private setting cause it desires a lot of concentration. Now, I'm admittedly not that knowledgeable in this because I don't use my crystal ball often.

Also, your crystal ball doesn't have to be clear. Mine is obsidian and I love her.

When having your question, focus on it and concentrate. Make sure it is open ended. I mean you can have yes or no, but it's gonna be a bitch to decipher a yes or no answer.

Close your eyes and let the answers come to you in the forms of images and colors and such, examine all you can as just let your intuition work.

Sounds simple but its a rather interesting art form to work on. Symbols and such can confuse you and it's heavy on your interpretation. I'm sure there's books and stuff out there for a general view of this symbol you see might mean this or that but...largely, this is a true test of how you read your intuition.

I'd do it more, if I wasn't closeted and lived with nosy closed-minded people.

C'est la vie.

One important thing though...don't leave your ball uncovered. Especially if it's clear. That's how you end up with burned shit. Those bitches are like mega magnifying glasses. And it happens faster than you think. Science is scary.

Mirror/Water Scrying

Mirror and water scrying is kind of the same as a crystal ball except it's a quicker and often less expensive way to work on your divination.

Some people have a specific mirror that they black out and scry that way. Others have a scrying bowl made for divination alone. It's just as good. You can use any bowl or mirror however. Just be sure to cleanse the area before you start and after you're done.

Some thank the water used for divination before putting it down the sink or in the earth. But that's more of an individual's choice/belief/faith than anything else.

Lots of occultism and spiritualism has a thing with mirrors being portals, openings, etc to the otherside and can bring some unwanted visitors.

And as someone who now sleeps with their mirror facing the wall now, I will say I believe a lot of what people say on that.

I want a goodnights sleep damnit.

Just be sure to cleanse your tools after use. Better safe than sorry.

ETC.

There's a lot of creative ways people can use these tools and magic. So don't think of magic as a recipe for how to be a witch or do witchcraft. That's half the fun of witchcraft.

Discovery.

Finding ways to do things, to hear, to see, to communicate. Yes there are certain tools that work better than others but, we as individual people also work in different ways.

There's a psychic out there who reads asparagus like bones. There's someone who will scry with a puddle on the ground they found. People have their own methods and ways to work their magic and we should learn from them. So if you have some non normal tactic or even something unsual, embrace it to the fullest.

I divine with music. If you ask me it's Apollo's influence. My spirits communicate with music.

When I meet people and get a good vibe on them a song comes to mind, and even if I forget your face, your voice, who you are, that song will remind me what I think of you. Songs pop up in my head when people associated with it are close.

I'm not going to say I'm the only one in the world who does this, cause that would be some bs. But its my tactic and its natural.

Do what is natural for you and not what other witches say you should do.

Even me, I beg you not to try and emulate or follow my advice down to a T if it doesn't work for you. Don't force it to work.

I am just one person, one voice spouting some advice. Take what you can from it, take what helps and work your own path. And then in turn do the same. I'm a path offering person not a director. But that's...just...me...

"But Sol, how do I speak to spirits?"

Talk.

Yeah, that simple. Talk.

This can be in a lot of forms. Some write and burn letters to ancestors, or past family members. Set up a placement for talking to them. Admittedly, a lot of spirit work and communication is experimental. We just warn you over some things because they've happened enough for us as a collective to go ah, a pattern.

I have urns at home so it's pretty easy to say hello in that case.

I am NOT telling you to go into a graveyard and just go wussap. No. Some spirits don't want your tomfuckery. Also if they're feeling really chatty all at once you might get overwhelmed and you will not have a good time. Read the dead room.

Open yourself up. WARD YOURSELF FIRST! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS. But yeah open yourself up. Learn how to open your pathways and close them first. That comes with meditating. Yes, this is why damn near all of us nag the shit out of y'all about meditating.

Just talk and listen. It won't happen immediately. It takes time and a careful ear. Remember signs to look for. You might spot them before you hear them. Small instances of shadows out the corner of your eye. A touch from nowhere, a shiver down your spine. Other things going off or being moved, etc. Slowly, someone or something will receive your message and try to respond in kind.

When you get these small responses, just keep calm and say hello or acknowledge what they've done.

"Oh, someone's here"

"Hello there"

"Are you still here?"

It'll be awkward (try to remember where you are, don't be a weirdo in public), but overtime you'll get better at it.

Conclusion!

Like any skill, spirit communication takes practice.

There are a vast plethora of ways to communicate with tools that I haven't mentioned as well, like automatic writing which is a pretty good beginner way to jump in.

Just have a pen/pencil on paper, write what comes to mind. Its a good way to practice hearing and catching signs as well.

And something I will never stop saying is you don't have to take this journey alone! Especially if you don't want to. Find someone experienced to start this journey with. Someone who calms you, who can support you. Support and asking for help is good. Last thing any of us want is for you to get hurt or scared out of doing this if this is something you really want to do. So call us, talk to us. Confide in more experienced people.

So many times on this site and other places, we are begging to form this beautiful network so we can help one another, give advice, hang out etc.

We are right here, just reach out for us. You'll get a hand back in kind.

[pfctipper]

Martin Taylor, ed. Lads: Love Poetry of the Trenches (1989) on the relationship between officers and their men during the First World War (+ HBO war extracts that I can't stop thinking about in relation under the cut)

Letter from Floyd Talbert, dated 1945: 'Dick that is the reason you are loved and will never be forgotten by any soldier that ever served under you, or I might say with you; because that is the way I felt ... you are the best friend I ever had and I only wish we could have been on a different basis. You were my ideal, and motor in combat ... Well you know now why I would follow you into hell.'

Bill Sloan, Brotherhood of Heroes: The Marines at Peleliu (2005): ‘[Dick] Higgins got back to the command post and saw Haldane’s gear piled where he’d hurriedly dumped it before going up on the ridge. Then, without warning, Higgins went to pieces. He fell to the ground, screaming, swearing, and sobbing uncontrollably. “All at once, it hit me, and I totally lost it. They sent me to sick bay for four days, and the doctors advised me not to go back on duty even then, but I insisted. It was better to be doing something than just sitting there.”

Eugene Sledge, With the Old Breed: At Peleliu and Okinawa (1981): 'As I struggled along feeling chilled and forlorn and trying to keep my balance in the mud, a big man came striding from the rear of the column. He walked with the ease of a pedestrian on a city sidewalk. As he pulled abreast of me, the man looked at me and said, “Lovely weather, isn’t it, son?” I grinned at Haldane and said, “Not exactly, sir" ... He wanted to know all about my family, home, and education. As we talked the gloom seemed to disappear, and I felt warm inside. Finally he told me it wouldn’t rain forever, and we could get dry soon. He moved along the column talking to other men as he had to me. His sincere interest in each of us as a human being helped to dispel the feeling that we were just animals training to fight.'

Larry Alexander, Biggest Brother: The Life Of Major Dick Winters (2005): Winters' philosophy of dealing with his men and keeping up morale and fighting spirit was to move among them. One damp, dreary morning he noticed Private Clarence S. Howell manning a machine gun outpost and looking thoroughly miserable. The men had been marching and fighting mock battles for twenty-four hours nonstop. Howell, like the rest, was tired, wet, cold and hungry. As Winters watched, Howell fished a photograph from a pocket and stared down at it. "How's it going, Shep?" Winters asked, kneeling next to the young soldier. "Fine, sir," he replied, still looking at the photo. "What's that?" Winters asked. "A picture from home?" "Yes, sir," Howell said, showing it to Winters. It was a young woman. "My girl," he added, as if he felt he had to explain. "She's very pretty, Shep," Winters said, examining the smiling young face. "You must miss her. Are you two planning to tie the knot?" "Yes, sir," he answered, studying the photo again. "I was just wondering how long it'll be until I can get back to her, or even if I'll ever see her again." "You will," Winters said, patting the man's shoulder. "Just keep your mind focused on your job. You're a good man, Shep. Hang tough."

[howlingday]

When I was a boy, I only had one dream. I wanted to grow up to be just like my dad. You see, my father wasn't just an adventurer. He was a LEGENDARY adventurer.

Papa Arc: And then I kissed the beast so fair~

Papa Arc: And kissed her beastly bits down there~

When he would come back from his trips, I would sit in the tavern an listen to his songs, and I'd imagine myself traveling with him.

Papa Arc: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA~!

Lady: Kyaaah~!

That's right! My father is the one and only NICHOLAS ARC, the greatest Bard in the whole Kingdom! And I was going to be a Bard just like him!

Or, at least, that's what I thought at the time.

I guess part of growing up is realizing that your heroes aren't perfect. They're flawed people, and sometimes those flaws get really, REALLY messy.

Jaune: Dad, I'm home~!

Papa Arc: NOT THE PROSTATE! NOT THE PROSTATE~!

It was the day when I walked in on my father getting his butt plowed in the middle of an interspecies foursome. Again.

At that moment, I decided that I didn't want to be like my father.

Jaune: Dad...

Papa Arc: WHOA?! You're home early! Wait, let me explain! I'm practicing wrestling!

Jaune: Dad...

Papa Arc: Remember the basics of CQC!

Jaune: Dad, I know what sex is...

Jaune: Dad... I said I wanted to be a Bard like you when I grow up... But I've changed my mind. I'm going to become a PALADIN.

Papa Arc: ...

Papa Arc: Heh... That's a great idea, son! Chicks dig Paladins!

Jaune: No, Dad... A REAL Paladin, not the Fallen kind.

Grimm Lady: Ooh~! Your son is really cute~!

--------------------------------------------------

Years later...

Jaune: Ambrosius, Spirit of Creation and Control, please give me the strength to continue living a healthy and disciplined lifestyle, monogamous and uncorrupted by lust....

Yup, that's me. My name is Jaune Arc, and I'm a "Paladin of Order" now. I try my best every day to be a Lawful and Good citizen.

Nora: HEY! Are you STILL praying, church boy?! Get your ass in gear! It's dungeoning time! We don't got all day if we're gonna loot B3 and get back before happy hour!

Pyrrha: Hello, Jaune~!

This is Nora. She's a real dwarfy Dwarf, and a really good person.

Nora: Hmph!

Pyrrha: Nora's anxious because she's run out of lien again. (Giggles)

And this is Pyrrha, she's a Fighter of Jinn, and has been my best friend since I was a kid.

Nora: So, when did your dad say he was gonna be back?

Jaune: Around sundown, but I'm not exactly excited to be back before then. Really not looking forward to spending time with him.

Pyrrha: Oh, come now, Jaune! He's going to be off on a new adventure soon! Who knows when you'll see him again?

Nora: Yeah! Nicholas Arc is a legend! You should be glad he's your dad!

Jaune: Easy for you guys to say. Every time he goes on an adventure, he comes back with a new WIFE. I heard he was in the Kingdom of Mistral, so he's probably impregnated another Dwarf noble.

Nora: Damn... What an alpha...

Jaune: Do you know how awkward it is to deal with a new stepmom every year? You should see the drawings I did as a kid.

In hindsight, I had a weird family structure growing up.

Jaune: Anyways, it's not like I hate him or anything. I'm just sick of introducing myself to another new "mom".

Nora: Mm... I get that you have daddy issues.

Jaune: Gee, thanks.

Nora: But you don't have to be the opposite of him! You're living with a stick up your ass!

Jaune: I'm living with discipline, Nora. That's what it means to be a Paladin of Order.

Paladins of Ambrosius, the Spirit of Creation and Control, are champions of their own personal laws.

Ironwood: I only poop standing up! THIS is my solemn vow!

By living within the confines of a strict individual code, they seek to free themselves of animalistic desires and act through reason.

Nora: BAH! Order, schnorder! You need to get LAID! That'll fix ya!

Pyrrha: Yeah, Jaune! You do need to get laid! As your best friend, I'll take responsibility! That way we can lose our virginities together~!

Jaune: PYRRHA, YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE JOKES LIKE THAT. YOU SHOULD ONLY HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE YOU HAVE DEEP, ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR. I KNOW WE'RE CLOSE, BUT YOU WOULD REGRET LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY TO A GUY WHO IS ONLY YOUR FRIEND.

Pyrrha: Yeah... You're right... Ha ha...

Nora: You okay?

Jaune: Let's go.

--------------------------------------------------

Nora: Alright! Get your crap in the bag! It's go time!

Pyrrha: ...

Jaune: Gear check before we go in.

"The Black Roads." It's said it was created by a shunned Witch to avoid outsiders; this cave system leads down into one of the largest dungeons in the continent.

Guard: Hey, Jaune!

Jaune: Hey man.

Guard: Going down the pit, right?

Jaune: Yup.

Guard: Oof... I'd take a rain check on that. There's a horrible creature that was spotted last night.

Jaune: Like what? An alpha beowolf? Or maybe an Ursa?

Guard: WORSE! Word is, someone ran into...

Guard: A GRIMM-KIN!

Nora: A GRIMM-KIN?!

Grimm-Kin are a Grimm subspecies that live deep in the Black Roads. They have a harsh, matriarchal society that enslaves men. It's well-known that Grimm-Kin women are inherently evil.

Jaune: We haven't had a Grimm-Kin sighting in years. Did something happen?

Guard: I'm not sure what's going on, but you be especially careful, Jaune! A handsome guy like you? Grimm-Kin would be slobbering just for the chance to get at your pecker!

Jaune: Don't worry. I'm an expert at rejecting the advances of horny women.

Pyrrha: Oh boy... Wouldn't I know...

Nora: You okay?

--------------------------------------------------

Nora: I HATE GRIMM-KIN! In fact, I HATE REGULAR GRIMM, TOO! I'm not racist. I just don't like Grimm.

Jaune: You're a real dwarfy Dwarf, Nora.

Nora: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

Dungeon Level B3

Grimm: (Barks)

Grimm: (Snarls)

Grimm: (Growls)

Grimm: (Yips)

Grimm: ?!

Grimm: (Snaps, Snaps in two)

Pyrrha: Do you ever wonder what the Grimm talk about?

Jaune: Probably Grimm stuff, like how to get the most negative emotions out of a person. Oh, scoop up that ash.

Nora: How much ash have we got? What's the market price?

Jaune: Er, not great. Last I heard, Grimm Ash was going through another inflation.

Nora: AGAIN?! SERIOUSLY?! HOW AM I GONNA PAY MY RENT?!

Jaune: Well, you can stop drinking syrup from the top shelf.

Nora: Wow... That's a low blow. You think we can go deeper than this?

Jaune: I wouldn't do it. We should get at least a four-man party, preferably five.

Nora: Mm...

Pyrrha: (Turns, Sees arrow flying at her)

Jaune: (Grabs Pyrrha, Blocks arrow)

Pyrrha: Thank you, Jaune!

Jaune: See? This is what I'm talking about. We need a scout to prevent ambushes like this. Show yourself... GRIMM.

Cinder: (Steps out) Well, well... You parried my arrow cleanly. Looks like you're not just a pretty face... HUMAN.

Jaune: Why did you attack us, Grimm? We mean you no harm.

Nora: I DO! I'm gonna harm that skull into PIECE, BONE-FACE!

Jaune: Nora, can you please be quiet for just a second?

Cinder: Oh my... Isn't it obvious? I attacked you to get what I want. Because there's one thing every Grimm-Kin girl wants...

Cinder: HER VERY OWN MAN-SLAVE~! HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO~!

Cinder: YOU, PRETTY BOY~!

Jaune: Huh?

Cinder: I like you~! Ufufufu~... Back home, all the men I got were broken hand-me-downs from my mother! Now, I get to finally have my own boy-toy~!

Cinder: Don't worry, I won't kill anyone~! My blades and arrows are coated with knock-out poison, so I can take you all down with just a scratch! Then I'm going to drag pretty boy off and teach him how to please a woman~!

Jaune: Ah... So, let me get this straight. You're attacking us just because you want to have sex with me.

Cinder: Oh~? Have I piqued your interest~?

Cinder: It's not a big deal, is it~? You only need to become my pet and I'll allow you to play with this body. Imagine the desperate moans I'll make as you drag your tongue over my peaks and valleys, driving me wild with pleasure~!

Jaune: Hm... That does sound like a good deal.

Pyrrha: J-Jaune?! Wait! Don't fall for her lies! She's trying to trick you!

Jaune: I'll admit, you're a very attractive lady, and I'm sure there are many men out there who would give up everything to be with someone like you.

Cinder: So you'll be mine then?!

Jaune: BUT I REFUUUSE! GIRLS AND BOYS MUST NOT FORNICATE BEFORE MARRIAAAGE! NO CASUAL ENCOUNTERS! NO KISSING BEFORE THE TENTH DATE! NO MOUTH PLAY! NO ASS PLAY! DEFINITELY NO ASS TO MOUTH PLAY! ONLY MISSIONARY FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROCREATION! BETWEEN MARRIED COUPLES! MONOGAMYYY! NO HAREMS! NO ORGIES! HAND HOLDING IS OKAY, BUT DON'T! LOCK! THOSE! FINGEEERS!

Pyrrha: ...

Jaune: ...

Nora: ...

Cinder: ...

Nora: ...

Cinder: ???

Pyrrha: Whew!

Jaune: Khm! My name is Jaune Arc, and I am a Paladin of Order. THIS is my solemn vow.

Cinder: Uh... Is every surface dweller this prudish, or is it just him?

Jaune: ...

Nora/Pyrrha: It's just him.

Cinder: Okay! So, uh... Kinda got sidetracked, but you're not volunteering to be my man-slave, right?

Jaune: Yeah.

Cinder: Good~! I prefer doing this the old-fashioned way.

Jaune: Here we go. Stay behind me. I'll handle this.

Cinder: Hoohoohoo~! A little overconfident, aren't we? THE ONLY THINGS YOU'LL BE HANDLING ARE MY NIPPLES IN BED~!

Jaune: (Holds action)

Cinder: (Leaping strike)

???: Oscura Ventos...

Cinder: (Knocked on her back) GAH!

Jaune: ?!

???: What have I told you about "No more man slaves"? Such a naughty girl~...

Cinder: Dammit! You always get in my way...

Cinder: MOTHER!

Salem: But then again, I'm not surprised. You always were needy for attention.

Cinder: Why did you stop me?!

Salem: Because slavery is WRONG, Cinder. We need to start treating men as equals.

Jaune: You okay?

Cinder: Oh, fuck off! You were going through three men a day just a week ago, so cut the crap!

Salem: That was the old men. I'm a new woman now, ever since I met...

Salem: (Cuddling to Papa Arc) My husband~! Mr. Nicholas Arc~!

Papa Arc: Heya, son~! How ya doin'?! (Laughing with Salem)

Jaune: ...Hi, Dad.

Papa Arc: Jaune, my boy! How's it hangin'~?

Jaune: I'm fine, Dad. Why are you in the dungeon with two Grimm-Kin?

Papa Arc: Ah, yes... These lovely ladies. It's a long story, one full of danger, adventure, and rrromance~...

Jaune: Let me guess; you and your party were hired by a rival faction in Mistral to attack a Grimm-Kin nation, single-handedly destroying their army and were supposed to kill their leaders, too, but then you saw the Grimm-Kin queen was hot, so you couldn't resist and just had to seduce her and screw her brains out, and then you smuggled her out of the war zone with the promise of marriage... again.

Papa Arc: HUH?! H- H- HOW DID YOU KNOW?!

Jaune: This is, like, the eighth time you've done this, Dad.

Papa Arc: Aw, geez... Don't tell me I'm getting predictable!

Nora: By the Brothers! I'm in awe of this GigaBard! This man is my HERO~!

Papa Arc: Ahem! Well, I was going to do this later with your mother, your sisters, and all your other mommies around, but since you're here now, allow me to introduce...

Papa Arc: Your new stepmother, Salem Arc, formerly Salem, Queen of the Grimm-Kin, and her daughter, Cinder, your new stepsister!

Salem: Apologize to your brother, Cinder~.

Jaune: Grr! I'm sorry I tried to enslave you... I guess...

Papa Arc: I was showing them around the dungeon since it's the most profitable job in the Kingdom of Vale.

Jaune: They'll be living with us in town?

Papa Arc: That's right! They'll be strangers in a strange land and they'll need someone to help them get used to our lifestyle. I'll be with Salem, so could you take care of your sister?

Cinder: Hmph! (Turns away)

Jaune: Uh... My "sister" tried to kidnap me and turn me into her sex slave... five minutes ago.

Papa Arc: I know! Isn't it great?! You're like family already!

Papa Arc: C'mon, Jaune, if someone doesn't watch her, she'll be arrested in a day. And besides...

Cinder: (Turned away from everyone)

Papa Arc: She looks like she could really use a friend.

Jaune: ...Fine, I'll do it.

Papa Arc: Attaboy, Jaune~! I knew you'd say yes! That's why I already bought a HOUSE for you! You two will be living together without any supervision~!

Jaune: What?

Cinder: What?!

Pyrrha: WHA- WHA- WHAT?!

Papa Arc: Sorry, Pyrrha. That's just how these things work.

Jaune: ...

Cinder: ...

Pyrrha: ...

Cinder: Ufu~! Ufufufufu~! I've always wanted a little brother~.

Pyrrha: HUH?!

--------------------------------------------------

And so, in this new house, my strange new life began.

Cinder: Step bro~! Step bro~! Oh, it's just awful~! I forgot to bring my clothes with me, so now I have to come out of the bath NAKED and SOAKING WET~!

Jaune: (Eyes shut) Here, I brought you a change of clothes. Cinder, please stop trying to seduce me. Seeing your nipples aren't going to make me break my vows as a Paladin.

Cinder: (Hugs him) Are you suuure~?

Jaune: Yes.

Some journeys start without taking a step away from home.

Cinder: Help, Step Bro, help~! I'm stuck in this conveniently positioned hole~!

Jaune: NO, YOU'RE NOT! WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT?!

I didn't know this at the time, but my stepsister's appearance was about to steer my Lawful life into a Chaotic world I was utterly unprepared for. But even then, one thing was obvious...

MY GRIMM-KIN STEPSISTER WASN'T GOING TO LEAVE ME ALONE

--------------------------------------------------

Nora: I'm a huge fan of your work, Mr. Arc! Could you sign my hammer?!

Papa Arc: Why, of course, my dwarven friend! Anything for a fan~!

[deliciousangelfestival]

Let Me Love You | 5 - B. Barnes

Character: college!Bucky x Female!Reader

Summary: On a mysterious, rainy night, Bucky witnesses a distressing encounter involving his crush.

Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6 , Chapter 7 , Chapter 8.

Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi

Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Please let me know what your thoughts are. I'd love to hear your feedback. Thank you once again.

Today, you didn't attend class with your usual high spirits. Despite indulging in the sweetest latte with your friends, the sugar failed to lift your mood. Your melancholy was palpable, evident even to Bucky.

Concern etched on his face, Bucky inquired, "What's wrong? Are you sick? You look pale. I have paracetamol with me. Do you want to take one?"

His worry touched you, a new sensation in your interactions. You chuckled softly and replied, "I'm alright. I'm just stressed for tonight."

Bucky furrowed his brow, clearly puzzled by your response.

Taking a moment to explain, you elaborated, "I have to accompany my ex to the gala tonight. He needs me to maintain his good image."

Bucky tilted his head, contemplating your predicament.

"You can't escape it?" he asked, a hint of sympathy in his voice.

You shook your head resignedly. "No."

Observing the concern in Bucky's eyes, you felt a flicker of gratitude towards him. His genuine care sparked a desire in you to confide in him further.

Night had descended upon the venue as you and Lloyd arrived, the air thick with tension. As you approached the entrance, Lloyd linked his arm with yours, creating the facade of a happy couple.

Leaning close to your ear, he whispered, his voice tinged with desperation, "Tonight, just lie. Even though you hate me, in front of everyone, tell them you love me."

His words hung heavy in the air, leaving a bitter taste in both of your mouths.

You gazed at him wordlessly, your eyes betraying the turmoil within. Though no words escaped your lips, your expression spoke volumes, a mixture of resentment and resignation evident in your features.

Before you could respond, the football coach intervened, greeting Lloyd and ushering both of you to greet the guests.

The attendees comprised students who had received scholarships, successful alumni, and sponsors of the university. Among them was Nicky, accompanied by her father. She approached Lloyd with a smile. "Lloyd, you're finally here. I thought tonight would be boring." Then, turning to you, she added with a hint of malice, "Oh, fancy seeing you here, Y/N."

You responded with a polite smile, sensing the underlying hostility in Nicky's demeanor. It wasn't worth causing a scene, especially considering Nicky's powerful family connections compared to your own lack of influence.

A senior attendee who had frequented the gala noticed the rearranged seating. He directed his question to Nicky, "Your table got changed? Usually, your family sits near the stage."

Nicky clicked her tongue in annoyance, turning to survey the empty table. "Yeah, I heard the main sponsor of the university never shows their face. But suddenly, last night they decided to come. It caught my mom and her team off guard."

Lloyd's eyes widened in surprise. Besides, Nicky's family was another sponsor, seemingly even more influential?

Suddenly, the MC made announcements, prompting the guests to take their seats at their assigned tables. You found yourself seated beside Lloyd at a circular table, but your discomfort grew as Nicky appeared and took the seat beside him.

You couldn't help but feel as though Nicky was trying to assert her presence, as if she were ready to step into your role.

"Well, Nicky," you thought bitterly, "you can have the trash."

However, Lloyd seemed equally displeased with the seating arrangement. You could tell he wanted to sit with you, perhaps to talk things over. Despite his past mistakes, he couldn't bear the thought of being without you.

Opting to converse with the seniors at the table, you tried to distract yourself from the tension between Lloyd and Nicky.

Meanwhile, Nicky attempted to engage Lloyd in conversation, but her efforts were met with short, dismissive replies.

"Oh, I'll think about it," Lloyd replied curtly to one of Nicky's questions.

"Maybe another time," he added to another, clearly uninterested in engaging with her.

Back on the stage, the headmaster of the university began delivering the opening remarks, highlighting the institution's achievements over the past year to the investors gathered.

As the headmaster highlighted the achievements of the football team, including Lloyd and his teammates winning the championship, they were called to the stage to receive their awards and prizes. Lloyd, along with his team and coach, were initially confused, not expecting any additional gifts.

Nevertheless, they made their way to the stage, greeted by applause from the audience.

Once everyone was gathered on stage, the headmaster invited the CEO of Vamps and his son to join them. Murmurs of surprise rippled through the crowd as the prestigious Vamps company was revealed, known for its presence among the top three companies in the world, specializing in foods, luxury goods, and hotels.

The dimming of the stage lights and the commencement of music heightened the anticipation in the room.

Finally, the owner of Vamps, Michael Barnes, made his entrance. His friendly demeanor and firm handshake conveyed his pride as an alumnus, congratulating the team on their success.

As the moment arrived to present the prizes, Lloyd and you couldn't believe your eyes. It was Bucky who stepped forward, holding the awards and the cheque.

A hush fell over the students of St. Louis University, stunned by the unexpected turn of events.

Wait? Bucky is the heir to the Vamps company?

Bucky? The same Bucky who drove to class in an old car, while Vamps raked in billions yearly?

Lloyd felt his world crumble around him. He had belittled Bucky, calling him a loser, unaware of the immense wealth and power Bucky possessed.

As he stood on the stage, surrounded by the glitz and glamour of the gala, Lloyd couldn't help but feel small and insignificant. His once towering confidence faltered, replaced by a cold sweat and a sinking feeling of inadequacy.

Unable to see you in the dimmed light of the guest tables, Lloyd's heart pounded with regret. He had never imagined that Bucky, someone he had dismissed as insignificant, would outshine him in such a grand manner.

And you? You are also speechless and stunned. Realizing Bucky's true identity left you reeling, questioning everything you thought you knew about him. You had never thought Bucky was this powerful because each time you spent time with him, he never once flaunted his wealth.

After the awards ceremony, the football team returned to their seats, jubilant over their newfound wealth. But Lloyd sat there, his joy overshadowed by a profound sense of defeat.

Nicky's congratulatory words felt hollow to Lloyd, a feeble attempt to pierce through the darkness engulfing him.

In a sudden and desperate move, Lloyd grabbed your hand, his voice trembling with a mixture of frustration and despair. "We're leaving," he declared, his eyes searching for an escape from the suffocating reality closing in around him.

Caught off guard by his abruptness, you struggled to find the right words to respond. "Ah, wait—". You attempted to protest, but the weight of his touch and the turmoil in his eyes silenced you momentarily.

Lloyd felt like he was being chased when, as he and you walked past two tables, he heard his name, "Lloyd Hansen."

The voice didn't belong to Bucky. When he turned around, he saw the headmaster standing with Bucky and Michael.

The headmaster gestured for Lloyd to come closer. He wanted to introduce Lloyd, "He is the reason why our team won."

Michael shook Lloyd's hand, causing him to let go of you. "You have a great future, kid. Keep it up. I heard you will be the first NFL athlete from our university."

Lloyd stammered, "I, uhm, you're too kind."

Bucky seized the opportunity to be with you. You noticed how his style had changed compared to his daily outfit. Right now, he really looked like he belonged to the top 1%.

Bucky's sudden appearance beside you only deepened Lloyd's sense of despair. He watched helplessly as you gravitated towards Bucky's table, leaving him behind in a sea of uncertainty.

Lloyd's heart sank as he felt like the ground was crumbling beneath him. Each word of praise from Michael and the headmaster felt like another blow to his ego, leaving him feeling small and insignificant.

Lloyd looked at you, now freed from his grasp, feeling utterly empty.

Invited to join Bucky's table, you glanced back at Lloyd, his expression a tableau of despair and resentment. In that moment, he felt utterly alone, abandoned by his own inadequacies and overshadowed by your presence.

Lloyd's chest tightened with a mixture of resentment and longing as he realized that he had lost not only you but also any chance of reclaiming his former glory. It was a bitter pill to swallow, knowing that he had let his arrogance and complacency cost him everything he held dear.

Meanwhile, Nicky, who was dressed in her best attire, had hired the best makeup artist and had spared no expense, couldn't accept why you, who wore a simple dress, no jewelry, and minimal makeup, were the center of attention.

Nicky's jealousy radiated off her like a palpable force, her perfectly manicured nails biting into her thumb as she seethed with envy. Seeing you, the object of Lloyd's affection, being drawn to Bucky's side was like a dagger to her heart.

It just wasn't fair!

Nicky = Drama Mama?! 🙄

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Author Note:

Hey friends,

If you've been enjoying the content, I've set up a Ko-fi account. Your support through tips would mean the world and help me keep creating. Only if you feel like it!

Here's the link: Ko-fi

Thanks a bunch for being fabulous followers!

[linoyan]

Three | Who are you??

Pairings: Ghost!Hyunjin x Reader!

Warnings: A lot of cursing 😭😭

Very very very special credits to whoever made/posted this gif aa

As you were about to start your call with your friends, your phone suddenly turned off. You were confused, aggressively shaking your phone and even trying to turn it back on.

"So dramatic." You froze as you heard an unfamiliar voice. It echoed loudly all over your room, it had an annoyed tone too.

You quickly turned around and fell off your bed when you saw the culprit. "Huh?" It was a man, a man.. a man you don't know- a man who's inside your room!

You quickly grabbed a pillow and dramatically threw it at the 'person'. "W-who the hell are you?! Why are you here?? Get out of my room!!!" You yelled.

The man didn't seem to be real.. Long hair, sharp eyes, really really really REALLY attractive too!

He grunted, catching the pillow and throwing it back to you, which made you flinch. "Calm down, I'm not gonna hurt yo-" You cut the man off by throwing the pillow back to him.

"Who are you?? I'm calling the police!" Maybe you were over exaggerating? Maybe just too scared to function? Or.. is this a normal reaction? I mean- who even stays calm and confused when someone you don't know is literally in your room???

"Don't, okay?? They'll think you're crazy! Wait, you can see me??" The man looked stunned as he continued to sit on your bed.

"Are you serious right now?? First, you barge into my room, and ofcourse I don't know how you did that! And second, you're thinking I'm freaking blind?!" You snapped, yelling at him as you sat on the corner of the room.

"Did i say you're blind?! All i did was ask you- Ugh.. Okay, look, my name is Hyunjin." He was about to argue with you but stopped himself, knowing all this is gonna lead both of you nowhere.

"Okay?? Hyunjin? And? I'm calling the cops- security, I don't know what they're called!!" You were a total mess right now, almost sobbing as you stood up and picked the telephone up, obviously shaking.

"Don't say i didn't warn you." He was even sitting pretty on your bed while you called for help, which made you hesitate.

You stood infront of a small table, the telephone in hand as you eyed him up and down. "..What the fuck are you?" You stared at him in disbelief.

"Human-"

"Human, Human yeah, i get it! Now answer me seriously." You shot him a glare, it was too late to even get angry yet he's already getting in your nerves.

"Let's say.. I've been in this room for a year now, but noone but you has ever seen me in this state- What do you think i am?" He smirked as he looked at you.

"A fresh damned spirit?? A ghost?? I don't know!" You exclaimed, slamming the telephone back down as you shrugged at him.

"Then i guess I'm a ghost, happy?" He shrugged back, laying down on your bed and wrapping himself up on your blanket.

"Okay wannabe bloody mary?? Like i believe you! I've never even seen a ghost before!" You walked towards him and sat down on the bed.

"Well, you have now!" He rolled his eyes at you.

"Don't give me that sass, Hyunjin. Don't think I'm going to sleep knowing you're here!" You pulled your blanket which made him roll out of it. He groaned.

Both of you remained silent for a moment, probably taking in whatever just happened.

"..Hey." He was the first to speak, he turned to look at you with a.. rather serious expression.

"What?" You answered in an instant, looking annoyed.

"Still don't believe me?"

....

"Ofcourse not."

He let out a sigh. "I'll turn your phone back on, call one of your friends and bring them here." He explained as he grabbed a pillow and placed it under his head, resting on it.

You judged him for a while, "Kinda childish." but then you grabbed your phone and turned it on. "It's the only quick way you'll believe me!"

When your phone turned on, you glared at him, now believing that he's.. unordinary.

"What??" ..

.. "I got my eye on you, Hyunjin."

He let out a scoff and went back to focus on the comfort of your bed.

[shaunamilfman]

Jackie Taylor with an s/o that plays video games

pre-crash headcanons

Jackie Taylor is for sure a hater of any hobby you have. Why would you want to have a hobby when you could just watch her being pretty?? 

she’d definitely approach this with the intent of getting you to stop playing and pay attention to her at first. she’s laying all over you absolutely astonished that you’re still playing video games while she’s there. You seriously have a pretty girl in your lap and still want to play minecraft?

She’s realizing the error of this plan as you assume she’s interested and start explaining what’s going on in your game. It wasn’t her intention, but she figures at least this way you’re still paying her attention. She’ll get what she can get.

Jackie would end up getting really interested in the story line and would get upset with you if you even thought about playing it without her. she asks you so many dumb questions about game mechanics and makes you go through every single dialog option that it takes you like 40 hours to finish a 20 hour game

Jackie would get really into competitive games on your behalf. like she'd sitting there cheering you on like she's watching a fucking soccer game. Jackie buys you headphones with a mic so she can start shit talking people you play against. she gets really into the spirit of the competition man. 

Jackie talking about you embarrassing her after she shit talked everyone and you died like 3 minutes in lmao. all “how could you do this to me 😔” and shit. i just know Jackie Taylor would be an absolute menace on a mic regardless of if you had the skill to back it up

it's even funnier because she'd be so so bad at it herself. Jackie blows herself up with her own grenade like every time because she hits the wrong button. pouts and gives up after one round. isn't she dreamy?? 🥰🥰

Jackie trying to get into playing games but it's just her running around frolicking in the tall grass and handing you the controller whenever she had to fight someone

speaking of which I just know she went out and bought the pink controller. your black controller was not cute enough for her 

Jackie looks up guides for you whenever you get stuck on something. you think it's sweet but she just gets bored easily

Playing Minecraft with Jackie but all she does is build the house and accidently screw you over. Jackie moves the bed while your gone and completely fucks your spawn point up. Jackie's just like “i wanted to put carpet there 😔” Jackie also dies from falling off the house at some point and is at spawn getting farmed by mobs till you come get her. 

Jackie has you off in the mines for days because she wants an iron block accent wall. she only ever wants the expensive blocks I just know it. she's building your house out of the wood block instead of the planks, and she'll be damned if she's gathering those resources herself

Jackie taking your diamond armor to wear while she builds the house because “it's prettier than iron 🥰🥰.”

You come back from a long day of mining and Jackie wants to show you the heart shaped leaves on the trees that took her an hour to do. 

Jackie's house gets blown up by a creeper and she's beside herself over it I just know it

you make the mistake of showing Jackie the Sims because you think she might like it. she's obsessed immediately. 

she plays it on her regular laptop and it sounds like an airplane taking off 

Jackie has a painstakingly perfect recreation of your place with you guys in it, and she will make this your problem

sim you cheats on sim Jackie and she won't speak to you for days. she texts you a picture of the notification like “wowwwwwww. okay.” it does not matter to her that it was a video game lmaoo

catching Jackie recreating a girl who flirted with you so she can lock her in the pool to drown

Jackie picking your outfit out one day and you're just staring at her suspiciously

"what? 😁" / "these kind of look like the outfits you put us in your game" / "pffff. whattttt?”

you'll fall asleep to Jackie playing it and wake up and she's still there. it gets so bad you and Shauna have to stage an intervention. 

Jackie gets pissed whenever your character can marry/date another character. She found out you married Haley in Stardew Valley and still glares at you whenever she sees a coconut. “why don't you go tell your WIFE 🙄.” my petty queen. 

trying to get Jackie to play a resident evil game but she cries like ten minutes in because she's so stressed/scared from the background noises. three creek floor noises and she's gone. hasn't even gotten in the house yet 

Jackie grows to really love the fact that you have a hobby she can also enjoy/participate in with you. Jackie loves to spend all her time and energy with you, even if you aren't giving her your full attention like she'd prefer. 

Jackie makes you pick all the nice dialog lines because she'll get upset if your character is mean. She has such strong opinions about dialog choices that she'll argue with you for like ten minutes over why you should pick a certain choice even though it has absolutely no impact on the story

Jackie definitely cheats at choice games and knows all the possible consequences for every single choice. you go to steal a candy bar or something and she's like “NOOO!”

slightly unrelated but Jackie would totally pick bae>bay without hesitation. Everyone in the town is dead? small price to pay for lesbians

going feral over the idea Jackie Taylor sitting across your lap scrolling on Pinterest while you have your arms around her holding the controller as you play

[lurkingshan]

Hi. I recently finished watching Coffee Prince based on a few recs posts that you had put out and MY GOD I'm so glad I decided to give it a try. (This was the first Kdrama where I got past 2 eps) I loved this sooo sooo much.

Do you have any recs for media (queer or otherwise) with similar strong characters as Eun-Chan? Even otherwise, thanks for your great rec posts!

Another Coffee Prince convert! Thank you for telling me, anon, it gives me so much joy every time someone gets to experience it for the first time. And I am not surprised Go Eun Chan captured your heart, everyone who meets her feels the same.

Since I don't know exactly what about Eun Chan captivated you, I am not entirely sure what kind of characters you are looking for. Is it her generosity of spirit? Is it that endearing mix of bravery and naïveté? Is it the way she keeps going through confusion and uncertainty? Is it that she is just so lacking in artifice and unapologetically herself? Or maybe it's her gender questioning journey that spoke to you.

Given that I am not precisely sure, I am just going to give you a mix of great dramas of various genres with strong characters that give me some aspect of that Eun Chan swag--feel free to come back and ask for more recs if you have something else in mind! In alpha order:

Be Melodramatic (Viki)

Shan found another excuse to rec Be Melodramatic? Must be a day ending in y. But seriously this drama is full of fantastic characters and there's a strong thread here about being yourself unapologetically and finding the people who love you for that.

Great Men Academy (grey)

Another character experiencing gender, but this time via a magical-unicorn-induced body transformation (don't ask I could not possibly explain it). This story is all about Love figuring herself out and the bisexual king who loves her in any body.

Healer (Viki)

Chae Yeong Shin is Park Min Young's best character ever and it's not close. She has a lot of Eun Chan's relentless spirit and optimism in the face of life's nonsense, and she's a spunky one. Healer is also just a great action romance with a lot of fun hijinks and a very swoony male lead, if you're into that kind of thing.

Joshi-teki Seikatsu (Life As A Girl) (grey)

Miki is an all-time great character. A trans woman rebooting her life away from home, she is more assured about who she is but has a lot of Eun Chan's core generosity and bravery. I love her so much.

Kieta Hatsukoi (Viki)

Chaotic confusion with a heart of gold, thy name is Aoki.

Koisenu Futari (grey)

Sakuko, my beloved. This show is about two people on the aroace spectrum connecting and finding companionship and family in each other, and it's so beautiful.

Light on Me (Viki)

Woo Tae Kyung is definitely sitting at the "unapologetically themselves" table with Eun Chan. And he has a love triangle, too!

My Lovely Sam Soon (Viki)

If you're up for an even older kdrama, I love this one to pieces. Kim Sam Soon has a lot in common with Go Eun Chan, in that she doesn't perform femininity the way people expect and she is trying to find her place in the world, all while crushing on a guy who feels very out of her league. This is a journey for both lead characters, and I was so moved by where they ended up that I burst into tears at the end.

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat (Furritsubs)

My girls!!! I love every character in this show. I don't think it's possible to watch this drama and not find someone to connect with; it's all about exploring the many different ways to be a woman and finding the people who will love and respect you for who you are. And it's very queer while doing it!

Twenty-five Twenty-one (Netflix)

Na Hee Do is a legend, and not just because of the fencing. This show is her coming of age story and you will love her.

Weightlifting Fair Kim Bok Joo (Viki)

Kim Bok Joo, another heroine wrestling with her femininity as she navigates coming of age and changing relationships. She's fantastic.

As always, if you have trouble finding any of these, you can always hmu (off anon, because we don't share secret files in public lol). Hope you find something to enjoy among these!

[chiriwritesstuff]

'Love, Joel'- a 'The Girl in IT' Companion Piece - Pt. 1 - 'The Tornado Watch'

A Boss! Joel Miller x IT Specialist F! Reader AU

Chapter Rating: T

Chapter Preview: "Joel?" your voice calls out, followed by a knock on his window. "What the hell are you doing here? The news issued a tornado watch. You shouldn't be here," you say, frowning. Despite your concern, Joel can't help but smile at the sight of you. Your hair is tied into a messy bun on the top of your head, and your oversized sleep shirt falls off one shoulder. If you weren't frowning at him, he swears the mere sight of you would knock him off his feet. His hands itch to reach out to you, pulling you into his truck so he can kiss that frown off of your face, wishing you a good morning. He imagines his fingertips grazing the skin of your bared shoulder, pressing a kiss on your skin as your head tilts in pleasure-

Chapter Warnings and Tags: Strong language, Joel is an idiot who disregards weather warnings, please be smart and shelter if caught in a tornado warning!, no beta we die like men!

Word Count: 2K

A/N: ... and here it is! Part 1 of my 500 Follower Celebration, 'Love, Joel'- a look behind the 10 years of Joel's pining for our favorite girl in IT, Sugar. I thought it would be really fun to see what happened in the span of those 10 years, where Joel worked his ass off trying to feel worthy of our girl! Thank you so much for all of the love and support you all have given me and this little fic of mine, words can't describe just how much it all means to me!

Remember when Sugar asked Joel about the moment he realized he was in love with her and he mentioned something about a Tornado Watch? This is that story.

The National Weather Service in Austin/San Antonio has issued a Tornado Watch for Travis County until 5pm... please do not attempt to leave and find shelter-

"Dad, are you serious?" Sarah's voice echoes through the phone in disbelief. "The entire campus is on lockdown, and I'm stuck in a basement with 50 other panicked girls. Why in the world are you heading to work?"

"The weather lady mentioned it's just a tornado watch, not a warning," Joel defends.

Sarah sighs on the other end of the line. "I really think you should turn around and head back home, you know, like a rational human being."

"Can't do that. The project is already behind, and I can't afford for it to fall even further behind. Plus, I owe Tommy money for all the overtime he's been putting in," Joel explains, a touch of frustration evident in his voice. "I'm already in hot water with the client as it is. You know how it is, baby girl."

"I'm pretty sure this client of yours is sitting comfortably in their own shelter in that big house of theirs. The actual nerve—"

"Sarah, I get it, okay? The moment it escalates to a warning, I'll come down from the roof and join them in that cushy shelter, okay?" Joel reassures, attempting to ease Sarah's concerns.

"Promise?" she asks softly, and Joel envisions the hint of a frown in her voice. "Or else I won't come home over the weekend."

"You're going to come back home this weekend?" Joel's spirits lift, a grin playing on his face as he heads towards the job site.

"Promise me, Dad!"

"Cross my heart," he assures, turning into the driveway. "Need a ride, or you're good to make it back yourself?"

"I think I can handle an hour drive." She replies with a small chuckle. "I don't have a good feeling about this, but be safe, okay? I love you."

"Love you too, baby girl. Go shelter with the other girls now, ok?"

"Ok dad, bye."

"Bye," he says absentmindedly, the phone already disconnected after Sarah hangs up.

Joel turns off the ignition, a deep sigh escaping from his chest. He gazes into the distance, the burden of the tornado watch weighing heavily on him. He should be at home right now, preparing by filling water bottles, checking for enough batteries for lanterns and flashlights, tuning into the television for weather updates, and patiently waiting out the storm.  

Instead, echoes of his client's disappointed voice from yesterday's confrontation linger in Joel's mind, questioning why a 'simple roof repair' is stretching beyond the agreed-upon month.

"I paid you good money and took a chance on you, and you can't even deliver..."

What haunts him more is the image of you in the background, concern etched across your face.

"Dad, you can't blame him for the crappy weather we've been having! Of course, the project would be delayed," you try to reason, awkwardly placing a hand on your father's shoulder in an attempt to soothe his frustration.

"Is it your money that's paying for your mistake?" your father snaps back, shrugging off your hand. "Or do we need to revisit why you thought mounting an antenna on the roof was a brilliant idea? Who do you think you are, concerning yourself in an adult conversation?" he chides, crossing his arms. "Go back inside and help your mother with breakfast!"

Offering Joel a weak smile, you nod, turning back towards the house. Joel smiles back, the sight of your concerned face pulling at his heartstrings. His hands itch to push the errant stray hair away from your face, his hands grazing the softness of your skin spanning across your face-

"Well? What are you doing just standing there?" your father snaps. "Don't you have a roof to fix?"

Just a few more days, Joel. You can do this, he reassures himself. He idles in the car for a bit, observing the darkening grey sky.  At least Sugar should be home, maybe she'll keep me company...

"Joel?" your voice calls out, followed by a knock on his window. "What the hell are you doing here? The news issued a tornado watch. You shouldn't be here," you say, frowning.

Despite your concern, Joel can't help but smile at the sight of you. Your hair is tied into a messy bun on the top of your head, and your oversized sleep shirt falls off one shoulder. If you weren't frowning at him, he swears the mere sight of you would knock him off his feet. His hands itch to reach out to you, pulling you into his truck so he can kiss that frown off of your face, wishing you a good morning. He imagines his fingertips grazing the skin of your bared shoulder, pressing a kiss on your skin as your head tilts in pleasure-

"Hello? Are you even listening to me?" your concerned voice cuts through his reverie, snapping him back to the present. "Go home, Joel. I'm sure Sarah is worried sick-" you bite your lower lip, your lips wobbling a tiny fraction. "-and I don't want you stuck here if things take a turn for the worse," you insist, a hint of worry in your eyes. 

Joel opens his truck door, shaking his head. "No can do, Sugar. You heard your dad yesterday; I need to finish this job and get out of y'all's hair. I've already overstayed my welcome." 

"I don't give a fuck what my father says, he's just being difficult as fucking usual. He's already up in arms fussing around about the watch, i'm pretty sure he's not concerned whether or not you'll show up or not," you say defiantly, frustration flushing your face. "I swear, if you don't go home, I'll force you to shelter with me!"

Well, Joel muses, the corner of his mouth rising in a smirk.  Now that's an idea I wouldn't be opposed to-

"I'm a big boy, Sugar. It's just a tornado watch, no need to worry about little ol me, okay?" he smiles, cupping your cheek.  Fuck, her skin is soft-

you lean into his touch, your eyes closing in resignation.  

"Okay Joel," you whisper, your hand meeting his.  "The moment Nancy over at KXAN mutters anything about a tornado warning, I'm climbing up that fucking ladder myself and dragging your ass to shelter, okay?"

Joel gives your face a small squeeze. "Deal."

A few hours later, as Joel continues on working on the roof over your bedroom, you stick your head out of your window, calling out to him. "Joel? The news said that a lightning storm is going to be rolling in soon. I think it's time you should head out-"

Joel stops hammering a shingle, steadying himself as he peers at you from the roof. "I just have a few more shingles to go-"

Your eyes narrow in irritation. "Joel, no. Get your ass off of the roof this instant!"

"Baby-" he breathes, kicking himself for letting the endearment he calls you in his dreams from leaving his lips. "I can't afford to lose this job, your dad is already pissed as it is-"

Your face contorts into something resembling sadness, and if he focuses on your face hard enough, he swears he sees the tears forming on the corner of your eyes. If it were a different time, in a different place, where Sarah's mother's body replaced yours, he would imagine he wouldn't even be having this conversation, having been forced to brave worse conditions before.

"How am I going to expect to survive if you don't go into work?" she would spit, shaking her head and glaring at him as Sarah wails in her booster seat at the table in the background. "It's bad enough that you basically trapped me, do you need to be here to make sure I stay? What's a little lighting storm gonna do to you, huh Joel? We need to eat!"

"Trapped you?!" he replies angrily, his hands clenching, knuckles white. "I didn't force you to stay, it's not like you're happy to be here!" He motions over to Sarah, his eyes narrowing. "Our daughter is crying out for you and you can't even be assed to comfort her!"

"I don't want to do this right now, just go Joel. You think about your attitude while you work in the storm!" she shouts, harshly grabbing Sarah from her seat and slamming their bedroom door.  

It was her cruelty and selfishness that turned Joel off from dating and finding someone else, the weight of her absence proving to be a heavy burden on him as a single father once their divorce was finalized. Sure, there were women, attractions, and occasional one-night stands, but nothing more than that. Joel could count on one hand just how many women, in the last twenty years, had stayed the night, and to be completely honest with himself, it didn't bother him in the least. He had Sarah to raise and raise right, a wayward, careless brother he had to bail out of jail when he drank just a little too much, and a business to run. He didn't have time for casual, and he didn't have the desire for anything long term. Things were going great, even if his business was barely off of the ground and he was starting to slowly swim into the depths of debt. He didn't need to add anyone else into the equation.

And then you came along.

... with your fucking smile and your bright eyes and the way that you laugh - with your entire body - as he cracks a dad joke so bad he could feel Sarah cringing all the way from her college dorm room. How instead of living your life and being a twenty-something doing something fun with friends, you would rather spend your time with him, sitting on the edge of your windowsil asking him about anything and everything, genuninely interested in what he had to say. How you would bravely climb up his ladder even if you shared that you're afraid of heights to pass him a water bottle, concerned about potential heat stroke. He wasn't used to anyone besides Sarah or Tommy fretting over him, he wasn't prepared to be completely overwhelmed by your sudden presence in his life. He wasn't looking for anyone, and yet-

You took his breath away like a hurricane, and he finds himself ready to be swept away by you and you alone.  

"Joel!" you shout suddenly from below him, your foot already on his ladder as you brace yourself, the tears flowing freely down the slopes of your cheeks. "Please, Joel, just come down! It isn't funny anymore!"

"Sugar! just stay down there, let me just finish, it'll only be five more-"

"NO!" you scream, the sight of your tears making him halt in place. "Stop FUCKING AROUND, JOEL!" you cry, shaking your head in defiance.

Joel drops his hammer and quickly jumps on the ladder, skipping a rung as he hurriedly makes his way to you. "I'm coming baby, just hold on!" he yells as he descends, the need of your body in his arms too strong to deny.  

"You fucking idiot!" you shout, practically barreling into him as his feet touch the ground. His arms instinctively wrap around your shaking form, your small fists beating on his chest as you sob into it, your tears soaking flannel. "What were you thinking, risking your life like that? No one is worth you risking your life for some fucking roof!"

Joel cradles your head as he places a soft kiss on your hair, his hand rubbing your back as he tries to settle you.

"You're wrong, you know" he whispers, his eyes closing as he tightens his hold on you harder. "There is someone risking my life for," he breathes, his mind coming into a realization.

I fucking love you, Sugar, he thinks, biting his tongue from saying it out loud as he loses himself in your embrace, wishing that the moment would never end.  I can die right here and die a happy man, he muses.  Just as long as I get to hold you like this. 

One day, he thinks.  One day I'll be able to tell you this out loud.