#anyhow. i like big bro wild.

[merriclo]

i love the idea that Wild is a big brother to basically all of the kids in his Hyrule. it’s such a good heacanon that i never see utilized.

[realhankmccoy]

hey kids, I had — another day another insight what’s new hey — but I felt this was a particularly good one. I had an insight/

automated rejection is the way of the American empire and its cucks, and it spills over into their social lives because they’re so deeply cucked by ‘the game’ in all its big business cartoon shitshow of using and disposing of human beings.

automated rejection is why even folks with PhDs will explode on you or delete you for the most minor noncompliance… think how scarce that degree is and how much they comply with imperial mindsets to get it, believing that it makes them far better than the rest.

There’s also a sort of Human Resources manager rejection that is used by the imperial cuck instead when it already see somebody as an employee of its own. This would be for example, the pride that a Bruce, a Christina, a Bro a Dad or a Bobby takes in saying ‘oh yes, I saw it would not work with Hank, he was a security risk of sorts and not the happy compliant employee full of nothing but praise for us that is our ideal, one we can abuse and he always serves with a smile… so I began to distance myself from him (this is what HR does too, kids, when they’re getting ready to let employees go) and blah blah blah

anyhow it’s the exact same corporate function under Trumpism, almost precisely

and what’s wild about it — these cucks actually take pride in being such a cuck and in conducting their social relations like — well not even ‘the man’ but the woman serving the man in HR heh, which says it’s less about gender than it is about

being a corporate cuck in a hierarchical American empire in which if you can be higher up and hire and fire you ‘win’.

now, of course only cucked idiots who are useful to empire would actually conduct their social relations in this way, but it explains so much.

‘know your place, faggot’ is the message I keep getting from them. They want to preserve the status quo of imperialism dominating minorities and intelligent people and human beings. I represent a threat to their function, so they focus on me as problematic.

now, anybody who’s a human being and isn’t shit for brains— anyone who values humanity or artistry or diversity or individuality or collective wage raises — knows the problem is the era of Trump and it’s hierarchical corporate America.

yet being cucks, they’re legit proud of just making the business world the real world — which I guess is how the business world tries to force me back into the status quo, doesn’t it kids?

it’s just like how some of the most idiotic slaves and serfs were always proud to try to emulate the plantation master or emperor, thinking they’re onto something superior and useful — basically cucking themselves like any idiot under a Chinese or Austrian dynasty for a place and a podium.

what to make of this understanding?

well, for starters, that these people were dumber, worse and more corporate jeering in Trump’s jeering era than I thought.

also how deeply insecure rhe Wonderbread is and how incompetent… it starts pulling out like HR starts pulling out thinking it’s giving the employee months of chance to turn it around… but since HR is blind and the employee knows something grody is up and HR always has its sights on something brighter and keener it hopes for per programmatic ambition, HR never thinks HR makes mistakes

Trust that HR never does realise it makes mistakes, as I have seen them fire long-standing knowledgeable and reliable employees for younger and more conservative / rightist mentally ill ones who show up 80 minutes late all the time and discuss their mental illness drugs on the job and giggle and get fired or seek other opportunities

HR constantly does this, which is part of why America just festers like a dying limb with gangrene much of the time until somebody gets fed up and cuts part of it off or blows up a building and puts in a more artificial building to accomplish even less.

To make the American situation even more absurd, these cucks know not that their methodology is cucked and their vision is coke, so like Trump and HR they also feel victimized that the employees leave or get let go, because turnover is so much work.

and because these cucks are improv toddlers, they forget that their narrative of ‘I was the one who decided he had to be let go as an employee months before’ doesn’t square at all with ‘he was untrustworthy he was disappointed he just used me and left!’ Which is their toddlerself’s authentically hurt toddler emotion because size the toddler they are is way too f-ing stupid and used to babyish lack of accountability to realise that they by their own admission began cutting off and dwindling the relationship with the employee for months.

what we have, kids

is American toddlers in grown adult bodies

who want power and thus emulate the Methodology and mindset of those who have power in the most cucked manner, never thinking it through at all, and actively emulating it

and when shit hits the fan because the human being (myself) will not tolerate dumb cucks especially if the see the cuck is a toddler behind the Strong Is Good cucked artifice

then the toddler they’ve been all along is legit hurt that I wasn’t merrily letting HR distance itself and laugh and boot me in the face without a ‘too bad, dum dum fucko, the heartless ugly idiot authoritarian empire-compliant problem has never been me, it’s always been you, so go live your fuckface life but don’t ever forget which side you’re on… the empire’s… and what it does to people and what sort of company you’ll be keeping (others akin to you, shrouded and sheltered in dark side whiteness) cuz I got a life to live and I’m not as square.

you know, or some shit like that… pretty close to the truth, isn’t it kids, even if I’m off 5 or even 10% and I don’t feel like getting out the fine toothed comb today.

man, I usually feel like shit about myself when it comes to my own expectations

but all I gotta do is look back at a lot of totally vacant empire-abetting Wonderbread assholes I’ve known to feel 100x above their low bars on the maturity and decency and creativity and brains scales.

that’s not why I look back tho… it’s actually not the self-esteem boost (I’m just trying to work that in cuz women have been noting how insanely evolved and beyond these idiots I am)

I actually look back cuz I like to figure out

how trump’s cucks

Operate like cloned clockwork for him

I used to think america had a lot of neurodiversity compared to Australia and such. It surely does but … more and more it does feel like a Clone High situation… people here however the freakishness takes different forms… they’ve got more in common with each other than they know

[lex-munro]

[Suicide Squad Scrap] Princess pt. 21

self-indulgent batjokes-flavored SS/BvS/JL, installment 21.

the piece as a whole is rated Mature for pervasive language, varying degrees of violence, use of controlled substances, sexual references, questionable ethics, and themes of mental illness.  set from Flag’s POV, with references to Birds of Prey, but not compliant with The Suicide Squad.

p.s. Gotham!Strange is one of my favorite versions of him.  love me some quiet menace.

***

They split up again when they get back off the island, taking Croc’s directions to surface at different drains.  Bit by bit, they trickle over to the VIP room at the Jokers Wild (Harley’s batch stops by her place to grab Brucie, Digger, and Harley’s ‘business partner,’ who turns out to be a latchkey pickpocket named Cassandra).

Mike has brought Lawton’s daughter, as ordered—the assassin hugs her tight and kisses her cheek and introduces her.

Joker beckons his henchman over, has a whispered conversation, sends the guy away again.

Flag realizes they’re all looking at him.  “Well, ladies?  What’d we get?”

The Latina (Montoya?) pulls out a sleek little tactical computer.  “This baby was a present from a contact at the GCPD—Canary cracked that shitty Arkham mainframe like a fuckin’ egg with this thing.”

“Language, please,” Lawton warns with a significant look at his thirteenish kid.

Montoya smiles at Zoe.  “Sorry, honey, ignore my crotchety self.”  She boots the thing up.  “Staff profiles were easy to find, but the files on experiments were a little obfuscated, so we didn’t get a good look earlier, just kinda downloaded all of it.  Something about an experimental toxin, tuning it for use as various compliance measures.  Anyway, this piece of sh—work is Professor Hugo Strange, the new director…”

She shows them the profile, side by side with what looks like police case files.  It’s all pretty vague and circumstantial…but those circumstances coming up over and over is pretty suspicious.

“The Bat says he’s calling himself ‘warden’ of Arkham,” Flag puts in.  “Said lobotomies went from two to twenty-seven in Strange’s first week.  Covering up?”

“Easiest way,” Harley says.  “Nobody listens much to the lobbies—ones who still talk, anyhow.  You find a patient who’s a ward of the state, or who’s got a history of aggression.  You do whatever you want.  Then either electrostim or the needle, and poof, all their problems are gone, and so’s yours.”

“Speaking from experience?” Canary asks, looking at Harley askance.

“Whaaat?  You know how hard it is to get the big thumbs up for clinical trials?”

Joker giggles.  “Doctor Quinzel has a real touch with electricity.”

“Oh, please, you gave me more juice than I ever gave you—”

“You stole the only memories I still had, you thieving—”

“It’s a proven treatment regimen for manic-depr—”

“Lalala, not listening—”

“SHUT UP!” Flag shouts.  “Both of you, Jesus!  Like fu—fricking six-year-olds.  So, we have some data to sift through.  Ladies, you want any help with that?  I’m a blunt instrument, but Arcee’s pretty handy with all types of surveillance, and despite his massive personality flaws, Jay’s brilliant.”

“Personality flaws?” Joker echoes with a hand to his chest.  “Boy Scout, how could you say such a thing?  Didn’t you guys go to all this trouble for little old me?”

“I’m here because Waller sucks and I didn’t want her to give me whatever drugs she gave you,” Digger says.

“I’m here for your boyfriend’s autograph, ell-bee-arr,” Arcee says with a shrug.  “Nah, I’m just playing, you know you’re my bro, Mister J.”

Joker flashes Flag a dangerous grin.  “And you…Rrrrick.  You’re just thinking about what I said when we first met, aren’t you?”

“No, actually,” Flag dismisses.  “I didn’t lie to you, and you got your visitations like you wanted.  Nah, I was just thinking about those promises you made to the Bat.”

Joker’s grin slowly fades.  “Yeah?  Where’d you hear about that?”

“You’re pretty chatty when you’re high as a kite.”

Flag’s expecting it when Joker climbs into his lap with one of his murderous shark-grins.  “Let’s just keep that a secret between you and me, hmmmm?”

Flag isn’t impressed.  “Anybody ever tell you, you’ll make a lot more friends if you don’t constantly threaten them?”

“Nope!”

“Well, I’m not sure what you think you can threaten me with, anyway, since we’ve always got along fine and, as you said, I know your secret.”

Joker actually growls at him.

“Don’t do it, beautiful,” Lawton calls lazily from where he’s settled down to not-quite-doze in a luxurious leather armchair (next to Cassandra and Brucie, who are fully asleep).  “You’ve been so well behaved—it ain’t worth spoiling that.  The satisfaction won’t last long, and Daddy’s gonna be disappointed.”

With a slow breath and a roll of his neck, Joker stands back up.

“Shame,” says Harley.  “Woulda been fun to see him bite you.  Maybe take yer nose off.”

“Ah, shhhish-kebab,” Montoya says, glancing sidelong at Zoe.  “Buncha this is encrypted.  Don’t suppose anybody has a supercomputer handy?  I hate to bug Oracle about it when we got so many…extralegal coworkers right now…”

“How about an Arkham employee-issue decryption device?” Harley asks.  “Should still work.  I mean…like, eighty percent of my other credentials never got revoked, and they ain’t got the funding to change ‘em out.  Otherwise, I guess we could work on that ass—”  She eyes Zoe and quickly finishes with, “—scerbic doctor who tried to poison my Pammy.”

Huntress stands up.  “Canary and I can start working that angle while you get the device.”

Ratcatcher scoots closer to Montoya and says, “And me ‘n Monty can keep going through the non-encrypted stuff.”

(“Don’t call me Monty.”

“Sure thing, Mama Bear.”)

“All right,” Flag agrees.  “Quinn, me ‘n Jay will come along as backup, since he’s the one with all the resources and reputation.”

“Then I’m coming, too,” Ivy says firmly.  “These two need professional babysitting when they go anywhere together.”

Flag drives, mostly because he doesn’t trust Harley’s driving and Joker keeps drifting.

It looks somehow more run-down with the lights and TV off.

“Home, sweet home!” Harley says brightly.

Ivy’s mouth twitches slightly, like she’s trying not to make a bad face at the ‘broke bachelorette with almost no sense of hygiene’ vibe.

“Just gonna use the little clowns’ room,” Joker says, sauntering through a door.

“Don’t steal my Fenty lipstick,” Harley warns, already poking through disorganized piles of junk.  “Know it’s around here somewhere…”

“Should—can we help?” Flag asks, eyeing a disgusting old takeout container perched atop a stack of magazines.

“Ehhh, prolly better not.  I got a system.”

A ‘system.’  Her mental roadmap must look like a demented habitrail, if the carnage she calls a living room is a ‘system.’

“Oh, that’s where I left that…Playboy issue with the Justice League cosplay shoot.  The chick in the Martian Manhunter getup is pretty hot.”  She pauses to wiggle her eyebrows at Flag.  Then she goes back to digging and unearths a Flash-themed rubber duckie, which makes a sad squeaking noise as it hits the floor next to Ivy.

So Flag leaves her to it, occasionally grimacing at the things she finds in her search.

Almost ten minutes pass.  More than enough time for anyone without a smartphone to be in a bathroom.  Lawton said he’d collapsed in the shower, and he almost dropped twice during the Arkham run…

“I’m gonna go make sure Jay didn’t fall in or something,” he says, and ducks through the bedroom door.

The light is on in the en suite, and it does look like Joker perused the makeup on the vanity.

The clown himself is standing in the shadows of the unlit bedroom, back to the door with something in his hands.

“Harley’s gonna be pissed if she finds you going through her shit,” Flag says.

Joker glances at him distractedly, then looks back at whatever he’s found.

It’s a rusted little tin lunchbox with photos and pieces of paper in it.  Some of it’s to be expected:  Polaroids of them as a couple, sketches of tattoo designs, Joker headlines, articles, a cover of Time that dubs him ‘America’s most interesting inmate’…

But some of it’s…a little sinister.  There’s tabloid shots of a pretty guy with Bruce Wayne, speculative headlines about a ‘mystery date’ and a ‘bisexual billionaire.’  There’s a sheet of lined notebook paper where Harley practiced signing ‘Harley Napier’ or ‘Harleen Napier’ a few dozen times.

“What’s that?” Flag asks, seeing the corner of some kind of plastic card or badge in Joker’s hand.

“I…I think it’s…it was…me,” Joker replies in a small, numb voice.  “I think I found this before, but ever since Ace Chemical, my memory’s always been…”  He trails off with a half-shrug.

The card is a partially-melted Jersey driver’s license featuring the pretty guy from the tabloid clippings.  And…yeah, take away the eyebrows, turn the skin white…

“Holy shit, it is you,” Flag agrees.  “Napier, J-something.  Wow, you look great for your age.”  He remembers that little note in Fries’ dossier:  Jack Napier, alias Jack White, alias Mister J, alias The Joker.  Joker’s dossier had said ‘alias Jack Napier (unconfirmed),’ like maybe his file wasn’t as current.  Is Harley the reason ARGUS knows Joker’s old name?

Joker’s breathing is getting shallow and erratic, edging toward either an angry tantrum or a panic attack.  “Why does she have this?  Why would anybody want—I don’t know who this is.  He’s just some—some boring nobody.  I don’t—I can’t remember—”

Flag takes the card, shoves it back in the lunchbox, snaps it shut.  “Jay, don’t worry about it,” he says quickly but quietly.  “Don’t even think about it, all right?  It’s ancient history.  You’re the Joker now, the craftiest bastard to ever rule Gotham’s seedy underbelly, and the Batman is head-over-heels in love with you.  It’s pretty rare and special to find somebody who cares about you even when they’ve seen the worst of you, and I don’t see him asking for picket fences and soccer-mom vans.  He’s not her.  He doesn’t wanna change who you are—he just wants you to change a behavior.  Stop killing people, right?  He didn’t make you promise to get a nine-to-five, or stop breaking the law, or sell off your club.  He didn’t make you promise to put on a suit and shake hands to get a big enough bonus for a family vacation.  He doesn’t want you toothless—he just wants you trained, like any good Daddy would.”

If pep talks are out of Flag’s comfort zone, having a mass-murderer hugging the breath out of him is like setting foot on the moon without a space suit.  Is this how Lawton felt when Flag hugged him in Midway?

“Uh,” he says, perturbed and unpleasantly squished.  “Kinda need to breathe.”

Joker lets him go abruptly, nodding.

A stray thought wiggles its way to the front of Flag’s mind.  “Waitasecond—you told Harley earlier that you don’t lie…”

“Hm?  No.  Make shit up if I don’t know an answer.  Kid around sometimes, but I always give it away within a couple of minutes.”

Flag’s brain derails slightly.  “So you really, actually have ‘Daddy’s Whore’ tattooed across your ass.”

Joker laughs at him, a simple, relieved sort of sound, and all his anxiety has vanished.  “Yep.  You shoulda seen the look on his face when he saw it—he threw me outta bed.  And then he couldn’t stop laughing for five and a half minutes.”

“Oh, you timed him?”

“Yup.  Woulda been longer, probably, but I started sucking him off.”

“TMI.”

“LOL,” Joker retorts, holding his left hand over his mouth and wiggling his brows.  He grabs the lunchbox and makes for the door.

“Jay,” Flag tries.

“No.  I need to do this.”

So Flag gives himself a three-count to enjoy the silence of the tiny bedroom before going out to keep the peace.

“Did you go through my stuff?” Harley demands, teeth bared.

“Did I find it before?” Joker counters.  “Is that what set me off?  Why I ditched you?  Is it why I have more blanks in my fucking memory?  A fucking dissociative manic episode from finding out you had some deranged fantasy of grooming me into a briefcase-lugging middle manager with your love and understanding?  Did you even see me, or just that guy who was dating Bruce Wayne?”

The way Harley’s face crumples says everything.

With a wordless snarl, Joker opens the lunchbox and starts to tear things apart.

“Stop it!” she shrieks, grabbing for the lunchbox.  “That’s mine!”

“I’m not yours!” he screams back.

“Ugh,” says Ivy, rolling her eyes but not bothering to interfere as the spat goes on.

When they stoop to scratching and hair-pulling, Flag and Ivy step in and pull them apart.  “That’s enough,” Flag says while Ivy dries Harley’s tears.

Joker sits down in the middle of the floor, giggling to himself amid shreds of paper.  And then he stops, all bloodthirsty seriousness, and says, “Jack’s dead.  There’s just me, now.  But I guarantee I can put a smile on your face, if you wanna put a leash on me so bad.”

Flag watches Harley and deeply pities her; she’s clingy by nature, looking for someone to follow, and that usually leads to addictive codependency.  She needed Joker’s strength, so she covered up her bruises with a fantasy until it all came tumbling down.

She takes a long breath, sniffles, licks some snot off her upper lip.  “We’re bad for each other, Mister J.  The worst.  I try to please you, it feeds your narcissism; I try something new, it comes across as fake; you lash out, I bleed.  So I get hurt and you feel lied to.  And it’s awful lonely, I know, especially with the amnesia and the dissociative blackouts.  It must be scary, feeling so alone.”

Joker looks up at her.  “Only two things scare me:  my Batsy when he’s truly angry, and being in love with him.”

She raises her eyebrows.  “That’s ‘cause you’re afraid of being alone when he either dies or dumps you,” she says with the wisdom of experience.

Joker just stares at nothing—either he’s thinking it over, or he’s gone away inside his head again.  He looks lost, and tired, and so much like Junie…

Flag clears his throat.  “Quinn, you find that Arkham decryptor?”

She holds up a thumb drive.  “Let’s go crack Strange’s top secret bullshit.”

“Let’s go, Jay,” Flag says, offering a hand up.  “You need some downtime while our revenge percolates.”

Joker looks at him blankly.

“C’mon, let’s get back to Floyd,” Flag tries, knowing that both of their pet psychos have latched on to Lawton’s dominant, decisive personality.  Harley wants to be a sidekick, Joker wants to be a princess.  Can’t do those without someone willing to take responsibility instead of just authority.

“You’re going to have to be more forceful about it,” Ivy tells him.  “You don’t want him staying like that, or he’ll kill someone…maybe one of us.”

Flag straightens up and readies his rifle.  “Get your ass up off that floor.  We don’t have time for this shit; we got a devil to catch and a Bat to save.”

Joker blinks hard, squints up at him, staggers upright.  “What’d I miss?  Why the serious faces?”

“We gotta get the decryptor back to the club.  And you need to sleep off the rest of those drugs before you collapse again.”

“Oh.  Kay.”

“I’ll drive,” says Ivy.  “You babysit the clown.”

Ivy drives like a racer, it turns out.  She’s all tight clearances and high speeds, in control the whole time.  It’s not unsafe…but it is unnerving, especially with Harley twisted around to talk to Flag.  She’s asking about Ratcatcher, of all things—filling silence per her usual, but genuinely interested, too.

“Nice enough kid, if you get on her good side, but she took two fingers off a guard after her first mission.  She’s a biter, like her little friends.”

“What’s up with that, anyway?  Are they just trained real well, or what?”

“That was my first guess, too.  No, she honest-to-God can talk to ‘em and understand ‘em.  Some kinda meta-human super power.  They don’t understand a lot of human speech except from her, and not all of them can read, but they’re smarter than you’d think.  They can tell her all kinds of shit.”

“Huh.  Well, that’s worth investigatin’ for sure.  She could be a spy, or a private detective!  She could join the Birds of Prey!”

“I dunno…it took a month to really get her playing nice with others, and that’s only because she thinks Jay’s funny and she likes to troll Digger.”

Joker rouses from staring out the window to half-heartedly protest, “I am funny.”

When they get back to the club, it turns out that the whispered conversation with Mike was to arrange for the opulent sofa in Joker’s office to be made into a temporary bed for Zoe, with four armed guards outside.

The place is quiet and dimly-lit otherwise, just a few heavies at strategic points.  In the VIP room, Croc and Digger have fallen asleep over a drinking game, it seems; Ratcatcher has some kind of mobile device plugged into the hacking laptop so that she and Montoya can double-team the easy-access data; Lawton is still lounging, but watching the door with his rifle over his lap and a cup of tea (maybe?) in his hand; Cassandra and Brucie are still snoring away on a loveseat near Lawton.

Harley flounces over to the girls with the decryptor (Ivy trails after).

Lawton’s brows furrow when he sees the roughed-up state of their two crazies.  “What the hell happened, Flag?”

“What, like it’s my fault these two are as catty as a pair of high school girls?”

“Harley started it,” Joker says loftily.

“Fuck you, you went through my shit!” she retorts.

“I’m not yours!” he roars again, and the whole room stills (Cassandra peeks open an eye, Brucie sits up with a confused little growl, and Digger startles awake with a yelp).  His chest is heaving, his eyes are wild.  He looks like a starving wolf about to strike.

Lawton stands slowly.  “Come here.  Now.”

Joker takes a step and stops again, trembling.  Flag wonders if that fear toxin is still making him see shit…

“Don’t make me repeat myself, princess.”

Haltingly, step by step, Joker diverts to Lawton, on the other side of the room from Harley.

“Good boy,” Lawton says solemnly.  “You’re not hers.  You’re his.  But you ain’t gonna belong to nobody if we can’t get Waller’s claws out of him.  So you’re gonna sit your pretty ass down, I’m gonna clean up these scratches, and you’re gonna sleep until those drugs have run their course.  And when you wake up, you’re gonna put your eyes on the prize and stop letting yourself get distracted by your crazy ex-girlfriend.  You’re supposed to be the big badass here, right?  So boss up.”

Once it’s done and Joker is curled up asleep under a fuzzy green blanket, Lawton stalks over to the girls and puts his hands on his hips (Flag is sitting at a nearby table with a cold glass of beer).  “Baby doll, I’m gonna need you to stop picking fights,” he says to Harley.  “His mind ain’t been right since we left the Bat with Waller, and if he snaps, he will kill each and every one of us.  Straight-up murder us.  Possibly cut our faces off and wear ‘em for Halloween.”

“Might not kill us,” Flag corrects.  “He promised the Bat he was done killing.  That’s why he didn’t kill that scumbag, Vince.  But clearly mutilation is fair game.”

Harley makes an apologetic face.  “If he has a dissociative episode, he might kill us all without even realizing it.  It gets bad sometimes, like he’s a different person with zero self-control and a boatload of violent urges.  I was actually making good progress on that with meds, but obviously I couldn’t get him his pills while I was locked up, so…”  She shrugs.

“Promised not to kill, huh?” Montoya says.  “We’ll see how long that lasts.”

“He’s kept it through a lotta shit so far,” Lawton admits.

“Well, it was for their anniversary,” says Ratcatcher.  “Wadn’ it?  Right before he went to Arkham this last time.  Twenty years is a big deal—you don’t stick with somebody that long unless you’re serious or you never see each other.”

An hour later, Montoya says, “Aha, here we go, ‘fear therapy serum.’  Wow, what the fuck?”

Everyone still awake gathers around her to watch a collection of videos documenting the fear toxin experiments (Joker is sleeping soundly, Harley has cuddled up with Cassandra and Brucie, Lawton has nodded off, and Croc is still snoring away).  The entries involve a lot of screaming and twelve-inch needles.

They’re all just…staring.  Horror, fear, anger…

“Shit’s fucked up,” Montoya says in a small voice.

“They woulda done that to Mister J,” says Ratcatcher.

“They kinda did,” Digger points out.  “But only once, so that’s an improvement over…”  He squints at the screen.  “John Dee.  Twelve exposures, three lobotomies, six applications of electrical therapy.  Seems like overkill…”

Flag grunts and says, “All in the name of fine-tuning this ‘fear toxin’ and its delivery.  For wide-area pacification.”

Montoya stands up and walks away a few steps.  “None of this is gonna stick on its own,” she says.  “They’ve apparently got at least limited government sanction through this ‘ARGUS’ agency, and definitely deep pockets, and all the subjects they’ve abused are wards of the state.  With lobotomies all around, I doubt they’ll be complaining about their doctors’ choice of treatment plan.”

“So we go public with it,” says Ivy.  “Make the Agency deal with donors who don’t like bad publicity, so that they cut Strange and Crane loose.”

“Good call,” Flag says with a nod of agreement.

“What about that reporter from Metropolis?” says Montoya, holding out a hand.  “The one who does all Superman’s interviews?  She nailed Lex Luthor’s reputation to the fucking wall.”

“Lois Lane,” Digger sighs with a faraway look.

“Dude,” says Ratcatcher.

“What?  Have you seen her?  She looks like a Disney princess with nice boobs.  And she’s proper sassy, too, not the ball-busting kind like Harls.”

Ivy scoffs at him.

Montoya makes a face like she’s decided to ignore Digger’s bullshit.  She tells Flag, “I’ll have Oracle get us in touch with her.”

.End.

[david-box]

Kill list liveblog I wrote in my notes app time!!

His sunglasses are off kilter and he looks so wrong the way his suit is buttoned up, likes it too big for him. I don't think he feels as on top of the world as he theoretically is. Right back to ep.1. Good music. Good shit with them all stopping in place but bad choice Ken lol. Shall we maybe not do the bad version lol. He hasn't been there for a while goddamn. Ahahhaha Kendall thought Roman was kidding about Shiv yesterday apparently lol. I think he's ahead of you Ken.

Mattson wants a party. B roll list lol. Interesting how Kendall thinks about this - how does it look if we say no. Also I just noticed the Shiv is the only one really wearing clothes that fit in the intro. I wonder why she wasn't on the email list minus the obvious. I just realized we have a merger just like season ... 1... I should remember which season lol. Greg and Tom back in their OG type clothes too except ~~fancier~~ also weird lowbrow joke from Tom this season. Greg. Are you going. Tom is having fun telling Greg something so he'll embarrass himself in a moment lol wtf is a Guggenheim. Toms hair is wild. I fucking love the way Roman sits

What's with the socks. Roman is suspicious also literally do not understand what the fuck Shiv is talking about, also, Kendall, buddy, that is the worst way to cover yourself. The plane is remarkable dark. Why did Roman shut it down? Aw, how nice. We'll kill Tom for you. HES RIGHT THERE ahhhh. Incredibly meritocratic?? I don't think tech billionaires are soft Gerri.

SNAKES ON A PLANE. IM TIRES KD THESE MORHERFUCKING ANAKES ON A PLANE LOL. Roman badly hiding his anxiety. Kendall is worst. Why is Shiv calm? Wild. Hate to ask now that I paused for a second but a wtf kinda resort has long ass black turtlenecks and brown aprons like some kind of Scandinavian themed cult film/dystopian novel. I think class disparity is going to be a theme today - all the underlings are worried about their jobs en route to a Norwegian resort. These people are dressed much more casually than the Rocyos are. Roman dressed better. Nice cardigan looking thing. I love the sibling dynamic also bro it's Norway wear boots.

Up top is a MOUNTAIN. WHAT THE FUCK. Magic appearing clipboard he probably shouldn't have wrote on cus if we know Ken we know he can't read a room to save his life. "I just had to cancel out a room full of working class whites in Cleveland." Connor can't throw his weight around as the SON??? Why did he put two on bugos plate. Who even is this guy. I wonder if they were supposed to weight for their hosts. Katarina's counterpoint is off put. "Tom of Siobhan" lol yes. Love that. "I'm not really a part of this whole situation" bro wrong move. They are so offput quit talking businesses lolll. Nearly got a bronze. What the fuck. What the fuck. Hugo. Buddy. Hugo. Hugo. Hugo.

Where's Mattson's fun little accent? Aw. And he's a conservative <3 good for him. Shiv probably the best prepped for this one next to Roman. Shiv is right that was a bluff, he's scared lol. They feel very short. No sorrys for Lukas :-( lol. Both of y'all need to lean back. This is gorgeous. Anajhahhahahaha lolllll. 187 is fucking good Kendall... You Guys Don't Need ATN. Mattson is remarkably fucking nervous huh. Why do they want ATN? They can't be honest :-( ouch. It would be REALLY good for them to just chill with him. 187 is good. I don't think they realize hey hold on there's a spy lol. Anyhow I don't think they realize how not selling ATN will affect you know those other people that exist. Shiv is reasonable. Fuck Dad dude. Either you carve it out based on Dad keeping ATN OR you say it's impossible to know so you can't ingore it either Kendall, you dumb motherfucker. Y'all are talking shit right in front of the cook. Where are you getting this info Greg??? I think Greg is lying. I don't think Greg wants to be a pawn sacrifice dude. Dude, just relax. He is so tall. The Quad. Tom could say hi before sitting down. That is such a wild ass response Tom what the fuck. Bruh. Bro. Kendall has zero chill and Mattsons like eyo. Your ball motherfucker. Lol.

I'm looking up the roast real quick but I find it interesting Mattson knows Greg is out of place by sight meaning he has the whole group memorized. Inbred Hapsburg giant is funny. I wonder if Tom knows Swedish. If y'all just said "were sentimental" this would fix it so easy. The graph *is* horrible. Trusted brand lol. Kendall is delusional. At or no deal. Roman looking at Kendall when he says he'd hate to make it not work also FUck Yes a sauna hell yeahhhhh. Karl and Frank not even giving a shit.

Forgot her name already but interesting character . Also Interestinf he goes for Shiv. I thinkkkk heesas gonnnnnnaaa tallllkkk to his ppl I mean. Roman. Take the money and run. Kendall. What the fuck is wrong with you. Other people have their skin in the gun. You're not good at running the ship. Good. Destroy it. Background character. Dude. Uggggghh why. Kendall is looking for dopamine on a giant wonderful Norwegian mountain. Roman :-(. I can see how the family dynamic worked.

Is Mattson tryna fuck Shiv? Bro. What are you smoking. I don't think Mattson is mentally stable. I think he would take an honest conversation over sex any day of the week. 500 frozen blood? Bruh that's a whole blood unit. How is that funny???? That is just harassment. Bruh. That's a clusterfuck. Shiv being honest!!! Wow. Shiv is good at this. Stop sending people your blood. Good time. You guys talk loud as hell. Greg is the world's most gullible person. Three hour what?? I think she wants the deal. Oh my god he's making them watch the movie?? Kendall is a shit liar. Shiv isn't using Emma as bait. What the fuck is happening here domestic abuse 360 degree film what the fuck BADNACLE MEAT ahahaha. Why are they negging eachother. Why'd it work on Tom. "He's boring, but he's very conventionally attractive". Lol

Mattson is not gullible. I hope. More value and also this sucks don't buy it <3. You're dad was a prick Roman. Yep. Go around Mattson. He's just pissing. Good point that he needed it fast like WHY does he need it fast. That was brave as shit when Mattsons got his dick out on top of a mountain. What a wild move of bravery from Roman at the worst time in the world. Now you don't get to buy PM. I think he is going around them? Nope. Rip. Revised offer. 192? Jesus. Fuck. 192. That's like 48 billion. Now we sell right. Please. Like quit edging me here right. They literally don't even need the money. Kendall is reconsidering. Does Tom own stock. I'll fire Cyd for you <3 yesss TomShiv forever failwives for life. Karl's like hell yeah I get to leave. Shiv can fucking dance lol

[tsuki-sennin]

Re~vi~i~ve Go~retsu~! Goretsu!

I'm kidding, of course, but y'know what? I can relax sooner or later!

As much fun as I've rather obviously had with Revice over this past year, I do agree with the general consensus being that it's hit a lot of stumbles. Nothing truly show-breaking or making it unwatchable or anything like that, but definitely noticeable. Maybe I'll talk about them in depth after I see the final episode, or maybe I won't, but hey! Might as well try to end on a good note, eh?

Spoilers, I guess...

-Man.

-Nah, it's fine Vice, I kinda feel the same way.

-I wonder... how the hell does Ikki get removed from photos? I'd understand the symbolism behind it if the rest of the family forgot about him but... did he take the photos? Set the camera up?

-"THIS IS OUR FAULT YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER"

-He's working for free!

-"...yeah, sure, I know who you people are!"

-Oh hi George.

-Yeah, splash him.

-"Let's go see your dad... together, next time."

-Man...

-"Nah, you don't have to apologize. I was just doing it for myself."

-Bros 4 Lyfe.

-Delicious :)

-"So like... who is Ikki Igarashi, anyhow?"

-Epic Dad Joke.

-Did that beer even spill out?

-Awwww, Love-chan :(

-Ikkiiiiiii :(

-He moved out.

-Man, we kinda dropped that Ptera Genome hoverbike thing, huh?

-Guess it was just too much.

-Fenix Frat House.

-GEORGE DID YOU CREATE THE MEMORY DRAIN

-Oh, I... drastically misread that.

-That might be Vice's destruction.

-Dolphin!

-BEDS

-Vice, how much money do you think we have?

-Vice cookin'.

-Demon Spice!

-Bonk.

-Fellas, is it gay to live with the manifestation of your childish impulses and desires meant to protect your brain from trauma?

-Hot damn, Ikki got drip.

-See ya.

-Man... I can't imagine the amount of talent and effort it must take to convey so much emotion just through body language... mad props to Eitoku, that man's a living legend.

-My man wore a suit to a locally owned ramen joint.

-Oh hey, parfaits. I've had one of those in Oishi-na Town!

-...ohhhhh, shit.

-Cake...

-Your phone's goin' wild.

-My man, Tamaki!

-Holy shit, Genta went in there barehanded!

-What a Chad.

-DESTREAM LET'S GO

-Wish I got to see more of this suit, it's awesome.

-V

-Vice duck.

-Oh my god, Vice duck.

-I

-Genuinely don't know what to say to that, what the fuck

-Oh my God.

-I think we've had two fart jokes in the entirety of Revice. Admirable restraint, compared to the preview in Saber.

-Ohhhh shit, we fightin'.

-"I ate your Mom, shitlips!"

-Oh my god, Revi reflected in Vice's helmet's visor... ohhhh, that's such a cool shot...

-Ah, yep. This is all part of a zany scheme.

-...I really hope those people Vice was "attacking" were in on it.

-Oh my fucking god, Sakura sprayed ketchup all over Tamaki.

-...hey, lucky him, I guess!

-Ikki's having himself the most violent masturbation ever.

-We're deleting Vice.

-Man...

-I mean, Kagerou was supposed to be gone forever when the Holy Vistamp was brought into play, but...

-God, I can feel the pain...

-Oh boy, final episode.

-Man...

-Well, I hope you'll all join me Sunday morning, where we bid farewell to the Igarashi family. I'm almost certainly gonna cry, so that should be fun! And after that, I'm gonna post a big long review of Revice maybe probably who knows!

[letshaikyuu]

haikyuu characters and what do they post on instagram? choose your faves :)

𝚑𝚚!! 𝚘𝚗 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖  ·  ·  · ♡

·  ·  · 𝚊/𝚗: 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚊 𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚖𝚐, 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗 !!

·  ·  · 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚊 𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍

·  ·  · 𝚗𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

·  ·  · 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 𝚘𝚒𝚔𝚊𝚠𝚊 𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚛𝚞, 𝚔𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚢𝚊𝚖𝚊 𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚒𝚘, 𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚊 𝚔𝚎𝚒, 𝚖𝚒𝚢𝚊 𝚊𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚞, 𝚔𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚘 𝚝𝚎𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚞

·  ·  · 𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚕 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚋𝚘𝚊𝚛𝚍, 𝚘𝚘𝚙𝚜

𝚘𝚒𝚔𝚊𝚠𝚊 𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚛𝚞 ·  ·  · ♡

Oikawa would be today’s influencer lol. His Instagram is perfectly themed, all the pictures make sense and either show him in a sexy-ass pose or something he thoroughly enjoys – like volleyball, milk bread, and aliens. His theme itself doesn’t have any funny pictures because he wants people to see him as a professional volleyball player – that’s why he keeps posting himself at practice

Definitely posts himself sporting the official Argentinian jersey, but who are we to judge

Unlike his feed, his highlighted stories (I forgot the name oops) and private stories show his friends just how big of an idiot he really is lol. He posts funny photos, videos from practice or him failing at cooking something. He doesn’t fear being judged on there, so he only posts things like this on his ‘close friends’ list – all of the ex-Seijoh members are on there and a few people from other schools

He also has separate stories for each country he travels to. Those stories usually show the places he visited, the food he ate and if he was with the team – pictures of them training or playing beach volleyball depending on the country. He never fails to post a selfie of him at the beach, sunglasses on and sun-kissed skin, making every fangirl of his squeal when looking at the picture

The ex-Seijoh third years always tease him on almost every post he shows up himself because they love him just like that <3

He definitely has a large following because he posts frequently and people love seeing him on their dash. Oikawa is actually really aesthetic and he knows when something looks good. Also, does Instagram lives with some of his teammates whenever they travel somewhere. You can clearly tell from his Instagram that he’s living the life

𝚔𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚢𝚊𝚖𝚊 𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚒𝚘 ·  ·  · ♡

His posts are very infrequent and kind of messy. He doesn’t have a particular theme going on and he posts whatever he wants and whenever he wants. His stories are usually of a milk carton placed on the bench while he waits for the bus – timestamp of course because it’s the only sticker Kageyama actually knows how to find and use

Kageyama in high school and as a young adult can’t be compared – even when it comes to Instagram. As someone who’s now a public figure, he needs to show himself in a better and proper light, so he takes what he posts more seriously. Deletes all the useless things he used to post back as a teen and starts of his new feed with a photo of him and the Schweiden Adlers.

After that, his posts have more of a theme to them because Hoshiumi keeps criticizing him when he scrolls through his gallery; he then recommends Kageyama to keep his theme more like a sailor theme – blue and white. So, when you open Kageyama’s Instagram now, it still has his signature milk carton and volleyball action shots, but it looks more professional, the shots emphasizing Kageyama’s physique more

Oikawa once comments about how buff his Tobio-chan is getting and the public went wild

Hinata also commented how Kageyama keeps growing and he’s still shorter

There’s no doubt that he has at least one picture on his feed of the whole Karasuno team – probably after a win and all of them are smiling like crazy that even Tsukishima has an indication of a smile on his lips -  and a selfie with Hoshiumi and Ushijima – courtesy of Hoshiumi himself. He doesn’t have a huge following, but people aren’t blind and can see how handsome Kageyama really is

𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚊 𝚔𝚎𝚒 ·  ·  · ♡

So, he has Instagram more to stay in contact with his friends because there’s a handful of them overseas and Tsukishima just wants to see what they’re doing because he doesn’t want to lose contact with them - yes, he doesn’t want to lose the only real friends he truly made in high school

Anyhow, him actually posting something on his feed is very rare - he’s too lazy to take pictures and too lazy to post them and actually care about posting. The only photos of him on his feed are the ones his teammates had taken of him or Yamaguchi

They’re pretty aesthetic, ngl. Tsukishima strikes me as someone who’d look effortlessly good on camera if he decided to do so

His stories are a different story. Tsukishima likes randomly taking a photo of anything he finds cool or ‘aesthetic’ as Yamaguchi taught him - it’s usually with a timestamp or date, a cup of coffee (or strawberry shortcake lol), or a book on the table with the sun/moonlight invading amidst the curtains. He’d also take a lot of photos during his break from working at the Museum - this is such a Tsukishima job, I can’t

He also reposts (?) stories of him once someone tags him in their own - usually Yamaguchi or Hinata when the Karasuno alumni meet up (I’m not crying, but that’s sad to me for some reason)

Doesn’t have a large following and is content with his followers being people he actually knows and not some ‘obsessed fangirls and fanboys’ as he’d put it - definitely messes with Kageyama, saying how his resting bitch face is finally useless and gaining attraction. No, they didn’t argue, not at all lol

𝚖𝚒𝚢𝚊 𝚊𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚞 ·  ·  · ♡

I can’t not call him an influencer because his Instagram basically screams someone who’s well-known. He doesn’t pay much attention to themes and if his posts look nice, put together on his feed - he knows his photos are good, so he doesn’t worry at all about things like that

He does have something similar to a theme going on - his photos are either taken at the gym, during matches and in places that have dim lighting. Definitely takes pictures in those fancy-ass sofas fancy restaurants have or in their bathrooms because he looks very posh then. But, damn, does he rock shirts with the first few buttons popped open

And then you see Osamu in the comments saying how he didn’t have enough money to buy a proper shirt and that’s sad

The Black Jackals have a ball in his comments section, but that’s not the only place they frequent on his feed. Like most, he has a lot of stories designated for his close friends only - designated cause Bokuto definitely trains in the gym without his shirt on <3. He also posts a shit ton of gym selfies or when he’s lifting weights and Hinata is the one taking the picture

Also someone with a large following who catches the public’s eye. I feel like people who have no clue who he is and what sport he plays would still follow him because he’s just hot - and, well, aesthetic and pleasing to look at ngl, I’d follow him too

Loves taking derpy pictures of his teammates and posting him on ‘close friends’ because Sakusa would murder him if the picture of him caught mid-sneeze went online - but damn, Sakusa looked good even in that picture frame, Atsumu is jealous

People go crazy when he posts a picture together with Osamu because people can’t handle twice the amount of hotness 

𝚔𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚘 𝚝𝚎𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚞 ·  ·  · ♡

He has this fine contrast between posting something sporty and something nerdy, so to say. His feed is a pretty accurate representation of Kuroo as a person because you can find a lot of things he’s into and he doesn’t mind posting pictures that might seem a tad bit embarrassing

Now, he, too, doesn’t have a theme specialized for his feed because he’s more of a ‘post whatever and it’ll somehow fit in’ and he posts rather frequently because he has a lot of pictures in his gallery. Loves posting pictures of hangouts or when he’s reunited with some of his friends after a long time with a witty caption or ‘good to see you back, bro’ (cough cough Yaku-)

On his story, he loves posting aesthetic photos of his food and drinks, especially if he’s in a coffee shop and he intentionally dresses formally for the perfect Instagram story. It’s basically him holding the cup to tea to his lips and looking out the window, his coat hanging over his shoulders and giving him a rather sophisticated feel

You also find Kenma on his stories being as aesthetic and more with Kuroo because they’re eye-catching in public places

Besides that, he also likes posting about his notes and like a timestamp with his desk and paperwork, laptop, and a succulent placed neatly on it. He’d have a cat who’d he also post a lot about or just opts for posting ‘throwback Thursday’ pictures taken back during his Nekoma days

Not that big of a following, but he does have a decent amount. Does Instagram lives as well! - usually when they have a Nekoma reunion or they’re at a karaoke bar and Kuroo wants to show how bad they are at singing lol. He doesn’t forget to hide the alcohol tho

[ibroughtyoumybullets]

I was wondering if you could post all the results? If not thats cool I just like reading all the other results too esp if they seem written well

sure! pasting them under a cut bc i feel like im clogging peoples dashes today

gerard-coded gerard-girl

ok gerard kinnie. hows that martyr complex working out for you? im sure youre a lot of fun but have you considered listening instead of talking at least every ONCE in a while? sexy tho.

gerard-coded mikey-girl

this is an interesting one. arguably you share this with gerard himself. you can take a little weight off your shoulders and allow yourself to just like ... chill, you know? and i mean chill - not hide away from the world or spend time with people while staring into the distance and never interacting. youre super funny and interesting, and once you start talking about something you care about, youre impossible to shut up - but everybody is so endeared by your passion that nobody wants you to be quiet anyhow.

gerard-coded ray-girl

JESUS CHRIST youre a hard worker. a little bit off your rocker, which you know and are a little bit unnerved by - but you have drive. not only do you have drive, you have the tools to make it happen. i promise. everything you find yourself coveting in other people is inside you. you just gotta let it shine through.

gerard-coded frank-girl

(lol you got frera[GUNSHOT]) anyhow. youre a FORCE of nature. you have a vision and youre gonna make it happen - whether its through careful planning or just through luck and dedication. youre funny, charming as hell whether you know it or not, and an absolute sweetheart. maybe stop worrying about divine timing and the microscopic details of life and go live instead. its okay. you can.

mikey-coded mikey-girl

lmao okay mikey kinnie. im begging you to express an opinion that is solely your own ONCE. you seem like you would be fun to hang out with at a party, even if its just so i can talk your ear off while we smoke outside. maybe eat a vegetable.

mikey-coded gerard-girl

rguably this is the result mikey would get. you like to lay low, just outside of the spotlight. but the spotlight belongs to you too. seriously, it does. you dont have to wait for somebody to give you the opportunity you want - whether its because youre scared to take it for yourself, or know it would be easier. go and get it. its waiting. people love you because you are whip smart and kind as fuck, but you dont take an prisoners.

mikey-coded ray-girl

stop people watching and pay attention to me, first of all. you dont need to have a carefully formulated plan of action to move through this world - you can just move through it. its waiting for you to move through it. whatever it is youre biding your time about - stop it and start moving. i dont care if its not perfect yet, and i dont care that you want it to be perfect. nothing is perfect. just dive in, its good for you. youre too clever for your own good, and love people fiercely.

mikey-coded frank-girl

we should be friends. youre like the puppy dog frat-dude whos the only person in sigma-gamma-apple-pi who is actually nice and good to spend time with. you got a lot going on under the surface that you dont always choose to share with other people - especially not people who you dont consider close friends or family. but that well of emotion and thought has to go somewhere. youre earnest, clever, and protective of your inner circle, and you love with your whole heart.

ray-coded ray-girl

lmao ray kinnie. unclench. please. just take a deep breath and stop trying to control the very fabric of reality. and give yourself a fucking BREAK. you are, however, a sweetheart and definitely have a super pleasant and grounding energy.

ray-coded gerard-girl

tell me youre scared to express yourself without telling me youre scared to express yourself. you think youre not good enough to do what it is you want to do so youre waiting for somebody else to do it for you, or for it to fall in your lap. stop it. you are capable of doing any and everything that you want. everybody is rooting for you, because you are a delight to be around. naturally, i mean. whatever face you feel like you gotta put on for people is unnecessary. who you are at your core is lovely and loveable in its purest form. stop hiding.

ray-coded mikey-girl

youre kind of an enigma. you know that though, its on purpose. but the mask isnt necessary. go be your fucking self and take what you want. its all within your grasp. your cool exterior is trying to hide a big, big heart - and honestly, its not doing a great job. everybody can see how much passion you have, how much you want the things you want, and thats not a bad thing. go kick ass.

ray-coded frank-girl

you wanna hang out? youre the last resort parent-friend. like sure, you'll step up to the plate and make sure everybody is doing good and taking care of themselves when the actual parent-friend needs a break, but most of the time you wanna go buck wild with everybody else. and you should let yourself. youre enamoured with people who live with their heart on their sleeve, and dont try to make sure everything is perfect and beyond critique. unclench and let yourself live a little. you deserve it.

frank-coded frank-girl

lmao frank kinnie. bro take it from one frank-coded frank-girl to another ... its not that deep, and WE'RE not that deep. you arent like. inherently evil or somebody who breaks everything they touch or whatever. feel your emotions like a normal person and then move on. you are however SUPER fun to be around and always down to clown, and you care a lot, and the people around you know and appreciate that.

frank-coded gerard-girl

(lol you got frera[GUNSHOT]) anyhow. whats it like being the sexiest bitch in the room and always knowing it? you are so smart, so talented, and everybody you come across thinks youre bees motherfucking knees. dont get all bashful on me. its true. but you gotta stop expecting the worst, and trying to plan around it. the world isnt holding a knife to your back, waiting to strike. it wants the best for you. take a deep breath and go get what you want. you are MORE than capable of it.

frank-coded mikey-girl

you try to keep everything moving smoothly, but you know when you have to intervene. you are so so loving, smart, and talented (YES, YOU ARE TALENTED - ACCEPT IT) even if you wish you could keep your emotions a little more underwraps. thats not necessary. you have a big old heart and you gotta accept that. stop wishing for shit and go get it. its there for you.

frank-coded ray-girl

breathe. right now. five seconds in, hold for four, out for seven. okay good. now listen: YOURE GOOD ENOUGH FOR WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT TO DO. you got all these feelings that you try to channel solely into work, and im telling you that sometimes you can just let them be, or better yet, express them with your words to another person and then move on. you want to be the best version of yourself - but you already are. life isnt a game you gotta keep leveling up in. youre smart as fuck, talented as fuck, and a big big softie. own that.

im SO sorry if this doesnt cut correctly this is so long

[franstastic-ideas]

Beyond a Shadow of a Doubt

Wraithtale AU - Sans and Gaster haven’t seen eye-to-eye for a while now; even small conversations between the two can feel like an uphill battle. When the existence of shadow monsters is revealed to the people of Ebott Town, Gaster forbids Sans to make any contact with them. To spite him, Sans decides that he’s going to become besties with a monster girl – Frisk. He probably could have handled his introduction better, though. Now she thinks you’re a creeper, Sans.

Word Count: 20,600

Warnings: Family drama, some mild body horror, repeating themes of poor self-worth and esteem, and one minor curse that's repeated twice.

It's been fine weather yesterday and today, so we watched the clouds.

It's weather that makes you lazy, and slowly closes your eyes.

It seems it's hard to remember "that" so easily now,

As we've been getting older ever since...

 ~~~~~~~~~~

 "Sans." A familiar stern-sounding voice said from behind him. "Where do you think you're going?"

"well crap…" Sans thought.

Things had not gone according to plan. If they had, he would have been out of the house and far away from the old man before he even knew he had left. But no, Gaster just had to be on top of his game today. Why hadn't he recalled that today was Gaster's day off? Now he remembered: it was because his father didn't bother telling him anything anymore, unless it was about another one of Sans's screw-ups. It seemed like he couldn't do anything right anymore in his father's eyes.

Home was supposed to be where the heart is, the one place in the world where you felt most comfortable and safe. But lately, this place didn't feel like home anymore to Sans.

Sans wanted to retort that it was none of his business, but he was reminded of his younger brother and his sincere and earnest wish for the two of them to get along again, so he held himself back, albeit begrudgingly.

He would try to make this work, if only for him.

"c'mon, sans. do it for paps…" He mentally urged himself to be civil.

"well hiya, pops! didn't see ya when i came through. sure is some great weather that we're having this morning!"

"ok, that sounded fake." Sans could have gagged at his clearly faux overly cheery tone; that didn't sound like him at all.

"Sans, it's eleven thirty. It's almost noon."

"but we're still in the a.m. hours, and if we were at grillby's right now he'd still be serving breakfast, so it's still morning in my books."

Now that sounded more like himself.

"Okay then, let's agree to disagree. Anyhow, you're avoiding my question and I want an answer: where are you going, Sans?"

"i was going outside."

"Yes, anyone with two brain cells could see that!" Gaster was losing his patience. "Allow me to rephrase my previous question – where are you going outside?"

"i dunno. i might go see alph and 'dyne, bro and i might work some jobs around town, i might go to grillby's for lunch…" Sans prattled off everything he thought Gaster wanted to hear and then finished it off with something he knew he didn't want to hear. "pretty much anywhere that isn't here."

Sans had to stop himself from stomping as he made his way towards the front door. When he reached for the doorknob, his father's voice halted him once more.

"…You really hate me that much, don't you?"

"i didn't say that. you know i didn't say anything like that, so quit trying to guilt trip me."

It had taken every ounce of Sans's willpower not to raise his voice; he had already failed Papyrus's request for them to be civil towards each other, and it made him feel ashamed even though his brother wasn't here to witness their latest spat. But he and Gaster had been at each other's throats even more than usual for the past few days and Sans needed to get out and clear his head before he said or did something he would regret, and Gaster himself was making this harder to do than necessary.

He didn't hate his father, but Sans didn't think he could ever love him as he once had.

"You're going out wearing that?" Gaster pointed at his blue hoodie.

"yeah, i am. i always do, don't i?"

"It's 90 degrees fahrenheit. You could suffer from heat stroke wearing that. Take it off."

"i'll drink water." Sans all but growled before swinging the door open and shutting it behind him with a slam.

Once he was out of the house and far enough away, he took a shuddering breath. He had grown so furious that if he had stayed even a second longer, he was sure he would have lost his temper. Nothing looked right to Sans when he was angry – colors and shapes blended together and blurred. He couldn't even speak coherently when his temper reached a certain point.

He hated feeling like this – he felt like some sort of wild animal. No, something that went beyond man or beast.

He remembered the breathing excercises Toriel had taught him.

In. One… Two… Three…

Out. Exhale. Slowly.

Repeat.

He did so until he felt the negative emotions leave his body enough to regain his thoughts, silently sending thanks to Toriel for her assistance even when she couldn't be there. He wouldn't have forgiven himself if someone had come across him and he snapped at them while in that state.

Sans looked down at the sleeves of his hoodie and he couldn't deny that it did feel too warm at times to wear it, especially now since it was summer. Before, he had been reluctant to part with it simply because it was his favorite article of clothing. But now… not wearing it wasn't an option. And Gaster knew that. And yet he had spoken as if he were exasperated with him wearing it constantly.

"no, I'm not taking it off, because i can't! and i wouldn't have to wear it all the time if it weren't for you!" He had wanted to scream.

But deep in his heart, he knew he shouldn't and couldn't place the blame on Gaster. As angry and hurt as he was with him, as much as their relationship had deteriorated, he couldn't blame his father for it.

It was an accident.

And it had been four months since the accident, but sometimes Sans could still feel the wounds inflicted upon him with the same intensity of pain as the day he received them.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

After calming down considerably, Sans had decided to go to Grillby's for lunch after all. He would probably do everything on the list of things he gave Gaster before he left, but there was also something he planned to do that he didn't mention – Gaster would blow his top if he discovered Sans's newest pasttime.

"Hey… look at that guy over there." Sans heard someone whisper not so discreetly behind him – an out of towner, most likely a tourist that dropped in Grillby's as a rest stop before continuing on their merry way, probably to the big public beach a few towns over.

"You mean the one wearing the coat in this weather?"

"Yeah, that one. He ordered, like, three burgers when he clearly doesn't need them. I mean, just look at him! What a fatass."

Sans flinched in his seat, but he chose to ignore them and continue eating.

His burger didn't taste as good as it did before…

"Hey, I think he heard you."

"Do you think I care? I'm just telling the truth. He can't get mad over that."

"Excuse me, ladies." A low, smooth masculine voice interjected – Grillby, the restaurant's owner and one of Sans's longtime friends, had chosen to leave his position behind the counter and intervene.

"Y-Yes?" The first woman stuttered, both out of being caught badmouthing another customer and out of shock from seeing Grillby's handsome face up close – some citizens of the town and smitten passerbys still wondered to this day why he settled on becoming a cook for his profession and not a male model instead.

"I do not condone such behavior within the walls of my establishment, nor outside them if I can help it." His tone was polite, yet firm. "If you cannot act like civilized well-mannered individuals, then please leave the premises and never return."

The lady seemed offended and her company embarrassed, trying to make herself look small in the booth where they were seated. The first woman dug into her purse and slammed some money onto the table then grabbed her friend roughly by the arm and dragged her out the door, muttering a colorful string of curses under her breath that Sans was surprised he hadn't called her out for.

"aw, grillbz, ya didn't have to do that."

"They were being rude. It's restaurant protocol to toss out discourteous and troublesome customers. And… they were speaking terribly about my friend."

"you can't throw out everybody that calls me a fatass, grillbz. it's bad for business."

"Language. And perhaps not, but I can certainly try." Grillby ran a hand through his shoulder length hair, the red and orange waves of locks almost resembling the flickering of flames when in motion. "And I don't care about business when it was none of theirs to be making unwarranted comments on others' appearances, in this case towards you. That's harrassment, Sans, and I don't know why or how you tolerate such actions on a regular basis."

"eh, you get used to it after a while of hearing it so much."

"But you shouldn't have to." Grillby sighed, knowing that this conversation was leading to nowhere, as per usual whenever they entered this subject matter.

Sans received large portions of unwarranted gossip, especially since he returned from college with no degree and refused to speak of why he was back early, deflecting any and all questions asked about the issue. Sans had left the town and was supposed to have majored in the field of science like his father, but he, like many others in Ebott Town that aimed for higher things, ended up coming back. Grillby was one of them as well – he had left town for culinary school, but he wasn't gone long before he set up his restaurant here. Whenever someone left Ebott supposedly for good only to come back, that person became the center of gossip for a while.

But aside from the rumors circulating around him about his sudden departure from college, Sans usually heard insulting remarks about his body or less than positive remarks on his mismatched eyes. Sans wasn't obese or even fat, but he could definitely be considered chubby. Even so, he was nowhere near as lazy as most thought him to be – he could run fast enough to keep up with more thin-bodied friends, and a great deal of what others thought was fat was in fact muscle that came from years of wrestling with Undyne. You don't get to play rough with Undyne like he had and not get some muscle mass out of it.

Then there was his bone structure – he had naturally thick bones. He had first found this incredibly odd and didn't believe Gaster or Toriel when he was told this until the latter had Sans take an x-ray and showed it to him. It seemed so unlikely to him because Gaster wasn't built like him, nor was Papyrus, and from the few dusty old pictures he could find of his mother, she wasn't thick bodied either. When he compared himself to them, he looked like an outsider, nothing like them at all aside from skin color and perhaps his eyes; one of them, anyway.

"i guess every family's got to have a member that's ugly as sin. might as well have been me."

If it had to be himself or Papyrus that was burdened with an undesirable appearance, he would choose himself every time. Papyrus was blessed with all their father's good looks, and Sans was thankful for that. He would never have to deal with what Sans did so often.

That wasn't to say that Sans always rolled over and took the verbal abuse. Definitely not; there were times when his patience was finally pushed to the limit and the beast within was unleashed. The terrified and shocked screaming of those who brought forth this reaction from him was priceless, their expressions clearly showing that they didn't expect him to be capable of running, especially not at such a remarkable speed, and towards them with fists flying.

It was especially bad for the unlucky souls that provoked his wrath when Undyne was also in the vicinity. She would drop everything she was currently doing and not ask any questions at all before happily joining in on the pummeling. The fiery redhead didn't need to ask anything – if Sans was beating the living snot out of somebody, then they definitely deserved it.

If Alphys was also there, she would record the entire thing and then edit soundtracks from shounen action anime over the scene to show it to them later. Mettaton had wanted to upload the videos she collected onto the internet, the fame monster, but Sans immediately denied him the right to do so despite his whining and begging.

Even so, sometimes during the ensuing chaos, if he was also present, Mettaton liked to play announcer, commenting on the big ball of violence that was unfolding around him with increasing enthusiasm.

With friends like Sans had, Grillby wondered why anybody bothered trying to bully Sans anymore. He had seen the compilation video Alphys had sent him – Sans by himself could be an absolute beast when pushed far enough, but Undyne too? And the additional humiliation of Mettaton's added commentery along with Alphys recording and holding cinematic proof of the harasser's resulting beatdown? Someone would have to be an idiot to pick on Sans at this point, and unfortunately, there were still times where he would be surrounded by idiots.

Poor Papyrus – he would always try to put an end to the fighting if he happened to witness or catch wind of it. He disapproved of some of his friends' eagerness to start throwing punches and kicks, believing that violence wasn't the answer. He tried to take the adult approach and pull everyone aside to speak with and scold them on their behavior like the mom friend he was. Of course, the ones who evoked Sans's wrath in the first place weren't the least bit sorry for what they had done; sorry for getting thoroughly thrashed maybe, but not for their continuous unkind remarks that led to the situation in the first place.

Sans and Alphys could be guilted somewhat easily, but Undyne and Mettaton were different. Sans didn't like the disgusting feeling that washed over him once the built-up aggression had faded and his desire for instant karmic retribution inflicted on those who had agonized him had been satisified, and Alphys simply didn't like the idea of Papyrus being upset with her for any reason ever. Undyne, however, would hold firm to her actions, believing that anyone who was subject to the combined forces of her's and Sans's dukes most certainly had it coming. And Mettaton was an enabler when it came to creating drama - he actively encouraged it if said action would bring about a situation or story that he found spicy.

Grillby felt sympathetic towards Papyrus, he really did.

As much as he loved Sans as a friend, he had to admit, out of the whole lot, Papyrus was almost always the only sane man, and that was saying something.

But he also couldn't lie and say that seeing Sans stand up for himself wasn't satisfying, if not incredibly alarming and heavy on brutality.

Sans wasn't a violent person in the slightest normally, but sometimes, a person can only be pushed for so long and too far before they've had enough, he thought…

Grillby studied Sans's face carefully for a few moments, causing the latter to eventually take notice.

"…what? have i got ketchup on my face?"

"No. I was only wondering… it may be none of my business, though I am concerned, but… did you and Dr. Gaster have another falling out this morning?"

"gee, grillbz. now that ain't fair." He shook his head, turning away from him. "ya read me like a book. …how could ya tell?"

"You seem troubled. Your eyebrows were knitted together almost the entire time since you walked in and your posture is tense." He answered, his gaze softening. "Do you need to stay at my place for a while until things settle?"

"nah, i appreciate the gesture, grillbz, but it's fine, really."

"Then would you like some company and perhaps we could discuss the matter? I can go on break and we could talk-"

"nah, nah, you don't gotta do that. 'm ok, don't worry. 'specially not over me." Sans stood up and began pushing him towards the kitchen. "now go on, grillby; you gotta get back to work and i told tori pap and i'd help paint her roof. off ya go, now."

"Sans!"

"bye, grillbz! see ya later! money's on the counter!" He shoved his friend into the kitchen then shut the door, breathing a heavy sigh.

This wasn't the first time Grillby had offered to open up his home to Sans, and sometimes he took him up on it when things in the Gaster household were especially strained, but Sans didn't want to trouble his friend and his own household when it wasn't necessary. There were occasions where it truly had been best for both himself and Gaster's mental wellbeing for the two to distance themselves from one another, but despite his minor meltdown earlier, this morning had not been one of those times of urgency.

Grillby's younger sister Celosia was also in middle school, and that was a busy time for a kid her age. He always felt guilty for intruding into their home during the nights where she had school the next day and probably had homework that was difficult to concentrate on with his presence invading her personal space. Now that it was summer, she might want to invite over some of her friends for the evening or have a sleepover, and Celosia couldn't do that with total peace of mind when Sans was in the room next door having an emotional breakdown and unpacking it all on her big brother.

So it was for the best that he not drag his friend into his personal problems anymore.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

"Now Sans, you should be more careful climbing up those steps!" He heard Toriel warn him from below.

Papyrus had already perched himself up on the roof, helping steady the ladder from up there while Toriel held it from the bottom. Even so, both were chronic worriers and were afraid of him slipping and falling.

"i got it, no need to panic. see, 'm already over halfway there- woah!" As soon as those words left his mouth, he nearly missed a step and teetered backwards, the ladder beginning to wobble slightly.

"Sans!" Both yelled in panic, their grip on the ladder tightening.

"'m fine! probably shouldn't have spoke so soon. better wait 'til i've made it up all the way to start bragging."

"You can still fall from up there if you aren't careful, young man." Toriel reminded him with a cross glare before letting out a fretful sigh. "I'm beginning to regret this. One or both of you could get killed."

"don't sweat it, tori. we've climbed bigger heights than this, haven't we paps?"

"YES, THAT IS TRUE, BUT LET'S NOT TOSS ASIDE OUR OWN WELL BEINGS FOR THE THRILL OF THE CLIMB. AND LET US NOT FORGET THAT THIS IS A VERTICAL ASCENSION AND NOT A GRADUALLY RISING HORIZONTAL ONE!"

"I assume the two of you are speaking of climbing Mount Ebott." Toriel said, turning a glance towards the near impossibly tall snowcapped mountain that loomed over them, the town's namesake and centerpiece. "While climbing up a ladder is different than climbing up a mountain path by a wide margin, both still have their dangers."

Once Sans was close enough for him to reach, Papyrus grabbed him under the arms and hoisted him up onto the roof with little to no effort – his brother was so strong and muscular, it was no wonder the town's kids thought he was great and wanted to be like him when they grew up.

He couldn't blame them at all – Papyrus was just the coolest.

Once he was safely up on the roof, seated next to his brother, he reached for a brush and can of paint and both began to work. Over half of the surface was already painted green and the unpainted sections purple. Toriel and Asgore were going to finish the job themselves, but Asgore was called into the town office unexpectedly for reasons she was sure to hear about later. He didn't want her to finish painting it alone, fearing what should happen if she were to stumble up there by herself, so she called in the brothers for help.

Papyrus was accepting offers for odd jobs around town until he found what he wanted to do in life, and now that Sans wasn't in college anymore, he had to make money for himself somehow. Gaster earned a good income, but Papyrus had wanted to start providing for himself though they lived under the same roof. And Sans wasn't going to allow himself to depend on his father for anything anymore since the accident, so he began to pitch in and pay the bills as well, though less out of a desire to prove himself a mature and responsible adult and more as a gesture to spite the old man.

It was a surprisingly effective countermove on Sans's part – he felt that Gaster inwardly resented him for getting kicked out of college and therefore barring himself from a well-paying job. By adding his own earnings into the house's collective funds, he was effectively telling his father without words that he could indeed support himself just fine without relying on his financial aid, as it was originally Gaster's idea to push Sans towards the college path when he first entered his junior year of high school.

There were days where Sans was actually happy to have gotten expelled, but mostly, he wished he hadn't, even if it was Gaster's desire for him to get a degree and eventually join him in his scientific endeavors. Sans had once loved science and taking part in the experiments he did with his father, but now invention and formulas only brought a bitter taste to his mouth when it once had brought joy.

That's why Sans so often grew so unmeasurably upset with him – despite all that's happened, his father still dropped everything else in his life and ran to science with open arms, even though it ironically costed Sans his college degree, his mental health, their previous family dynamic, and even Sans's entire future.

It wasn't the accident itself that hurt Sans to this day – it was Gaster's reaction to it.

Following this was when Sans began to spend so much time away from the house. If Gaster wanted to spend all his time with his work, then that's exactly what Sans would give him. Gaster had already made his choice, now he'd have to live with it, Sans thought.

The worst part about losing his opportunity for earning the college degree though was that now Sans had nothing to show for himself when people insulted him. Before, where there was a person that shamed him for his appearance, another would fearfully whisper that he was the son of the famed scientist Gaster and he was sure to follow in his footsteps, then the offending person would respectfully back off. During those times, he had felt so proud to be his son.

But now he was just Gaster's failure drop-out son.

Just another comeback kid for the entire town to talk about behind his back.

"the only reason the both of you are so bent out of shape over me going up a ladder is because i'm so fat you think i'm gonna break it."

His inner self-loathing was slipping out through his speech, he realized too late. He told Grillby before he was used to it, but he guessed now that what the woman at the bar had said affected him more than he previously thought. You could only hear something negative about you said to your face for so long before beginning to believe it yourself, even when you knew it wasn't true. And though he was normally easygoing, even Sans wasn't immune to bearing issues of self-esteem.

And Toriel wasn't about to stand for it.

"Sans, we've been over this – you're not fat, you're just-"

"big-boned. i know, i get it." He replied, his response coming off as more snippy than he intended it to and his brush strokes consequently more messy with his soured attitude, which he quickly tried to ammend.

He had been shown his own x-rays plenty of times to know that what she was saying was the truth, but it actually only made him feel worse. Losing weight was something he could do – changing his entire bone structure wasn't.

"Has someone said something to you recently about this?" She inquired, arms crossed over her chest and eyes narrowing as she studied him as closely as possible from where she was standing.

Sans could deny all he wanted, but Toriel's suspicions were already confirmed without him saying a word. There was no use in smudging the facts or concealing anything from her when she was like this – Ultimate Mega Mom Mode, Undyne called it. Toriel was Asriel's mother, but she was also a mother to everyone that knew her. She filled that maternal role that was absent from his and Papyrus's home nearly since they first moved here as children.

And when one of Mama Toriel's children were mistreated, she wanted to know the details first, the who then, and the why later.

Sans murmured something, but it was lost on the wind.

"What was that dear? I didn't quite catch that?" She asked with a heavy frown and a lowered brow.

"…a lady at grillby's called me 'fatass'."

"who was she?" She immediately questioned.

"an out of towner. she's long gone by now. 'sides, grillby ran her off."

"That Grillby is a good boy. He hasn't let his sudden popularity change his core values in the slightest." She smiled, apparently happy with his answer.

Before graduating high school, Grillby had been bullied for having an appearance that was considered 'nerdy'. He was required to wear glasses, and the large round frames he wore then didn't flatter his facial structure. Not only that, but the way he dressed, the way he spoke just screamed 'nerd' to his tormentors. But when he came back to Ebott Town, everyone that knew him, including the ones who had so often went out of their way to make his days miserable, had discovered that he had changed during his absence.

Grillby is now regarded as a chick-magnet, and though he has since forgiven those that used to agonize him, inside, he hasn't, and never will forget what they had done to shatter his self-confidence in the past.

He had graduated when Sans entered his sophmore year, and though the former had changed a great deal physically since he left town, Sans had internally felt a sense of relief when he learned his friend remained the same on the inside upon returning.

"yeah, grillbz is a great guy." Sans readily agreed.

"WAIT A MINUTE – YOU ATE AT GRILLBY'S?" Before he could answer, Papyrus continued. "THEN YOU DIDN'T EAT THE BREAKFAST I MADE FOR YOU THIS MORNING?!"

"no, i didn't. 'm sorry i didn't when you went to the trouble to make it. i just… didn't have time to."

Papyrus always woke up at six 'o clock in the morning, made breakfast for himself, Sans and their father, then once he was finished, he went out for a morning jog that lasted for at least an hour to start off his day. Papyrus was the designated cook of the household, making sure that everyone was fed. They always ate whatever Papyrus served them, but they never ate meals together at the table anymore, always separately.

Sans usually took his breakfast with him if he couldn't eat it in serenity at home, but he had ran into Gaster before he could grab his plate and the ensuing confrontation had made him forget it.

"It's wonderful that someone stands up for you when you won't for yourself." Toriel's voice brought them both back on topic, thankfully – otherwise Sans would have had to explain to his brother just why he didn't have time to eat his lovingly crafted breakfast, and he wasn't looking forward to it.

"tori, it doesn't bother me."

"EVEN IF IT DOESN'T, SANS, IT'S STILL WRONG! HAD THAT LADY NOT LEFT EBOTT AS QUICKLY AS SHE HAD, I WOULD HAVE BEEN FORCED TO SPEAK WITH HER ON THE CONSEQUENCES OF EXHIBITING SUCH POOR AND DISRESPECTFUL MANNERS IN A RELAXED PUBLIC SETTING, GRILLBY OR NO GRILLBY."

"Papyrus is absolutely right, dear. I'm afraid your feelings towards such inexcusable behavior doesn't matter – if you heard the exact same thing happened to your brother or even me, even though either of us said we wouldn't let what was said bother us, how would you feel?"

"i'd still be furious."

"So why should it be any different for us when concerning you?" He then peered over the edge of the roof to find her smiling sweetly at him.

Sans wanted to argue that he was a different case compared to them, but they would only argue and try to make him see otherwise.

So he decided changing the subject entirely and steering the attention away from himself was the best course of action to take.

"so, green, huh?" He asked after a lengthy pause, looking at the paint.

Toriel knew he was trying to create a diversion, but she allowed him peace and answered his question.

"Yes. When Asgore and I married and bought this house, he said he wanted the roof to be my favorite color, so it was painted purple. Now, so many years later, the old paint was chipping away and fading, so the two of us decided it should be painted Asriel's favorite color – green."

"is asriel happy to be out of school for the summer?"

"He's so overjoyed he barely knows what to do with himself or all the free time he has on his hands now. He's out with his friends for the afternoon; Grillby's sister Celosia and… oh, that blonde boy with the spiked hairstyle. I always forget his name and it makes me feel so ashamed because he's Asriel's friend and he's been invited over here so many times that I should know! Oh, but that hair of his… Asriel has been wanting his own cut like that and I've been trying to dissuade him from it. If that's what he really wants, I won't try to stop him anymore, but I don't know if Asriel really wants that specific style or if he's trying to follow some sort of trend."

"if you're wanting to know about fashion trends, i'm the last person you need to be asking." Sans laughed more to himself. "i just roll out of bed like this – if it's stuff about clothes or hair that's popular, it's matt you want to talk to, or, well, mettaton. that's what he's going by now since he got in over his head with that band he started up."

"Didn't you tell me once young Matthew, or rather Mettaton, renamed himself after an angel?" Sans and Papyrus both gave positive confirmations to her question. "But wouldn't that be 'Metatron' instead?"

"yeah. he read it wrong." Sans snickered. "so now he's stuck with a typo for a name."

"WELL, I STILL THINK IT SOUNDS COOL! IT JUST BREATHES STARDOM, JUST LIKE HE SAID!" Papyrus huffed, sending his brother a pointed glare, to which he childishly stuck his tongue out at him.

Papyrus then flicked his brush at him, splattering green flecks of paint on his face. Sans was about to wipe it off on his sleeve, but before he could, a white handkerchief was tossed in his direction. His brother was always prepared – the definite mom that oversaw their group of friends when Toriel couldn't.

"thanks, bro."

"IT WAS NOTHING. YOU WEAR THAT HOODIE SO MUCH THAT, IF IT GOT PAINT ON IT, YOU PROBABLY STILL WOULDN'T WASH IT UNTIL I MADE YOU."

"according to alphys, the main character of any story has to have some kind of wardrobe or piece of clothing that identifies them – this hoodie is mine, just like yours is your red scarf."

"WELL, I SUPPOSE YOU'RE RIGHT…" He hesitantly agreed, toying with the somewhat tattered ends of his scarf. He then gasped. "WAIT – YOU THINK THAT I COULD BE A MAIN CHARACTER? ME?!"

"of course, bro. who wouldn't want to watch a show where you were the star?"

"AWW, SANS! THAT'S THE SWEETEST THING YOU'VE SAID ALL WEEK! GET OVER HERE." Deciding that Sans was too slow, Papyrus shuffled over on his knees, throwing his arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug.

Sans happily returned the gesture – he's had an awful day so far, but a hug from his bro always made a horrible day better.

Papyrus suddenly recoiled and stuck out his tongue with a loud 'bleh'. "EW! YOU SMELL LIKE GRILLBY'S! I'VE CHANGED MY MIND - GET AWAY! GET AWAY!"

"aw, come on, bro. don't be like that." Sans grinned widely, holding out his arms and shuffling towards him while Papyrus moved in the opposite direction.

"KEEP YOUR DISTANCE FROM ME, CONSUMER OF GREASE!"

"but i love you so much, bro. c'mon, a little elbow grease is good for ya."

"NYEH! THAT PUN WAS HORRIBLE! JUST TERRIBLE! ONE OF YOUR WORST ONES YET!"

"you sure? 'cause i'm starting to think you might be a bit fried and prejudiced against my jokes."

"EUGH, NO! WHAT HAVE I STARTED?"

"nothin'. just one whopper of a pun, that's all."

"SAAAANS! IF YOU WON'T STOP YOUR PUGNACIOUS PUNNING, I'LL JUST HAVE TO PUT AN END TO IT MYSELF!"

"go ahead, hit me with your best shallot."

"NYEEEEEEEEH!" Papyrus lunged for him, attempting to cover his mouth to block the endless stream of bad puns from escaping.

"Boys!" Toriel called from down below, the pair hovering a bit too close to the edge for her liking. "I can understand the sudden need to initiate a brotherly round of roughhousing as much as the next person, but my nerves would be far more at ease if the two of you would wait until you were standing on solid ground to do so, and instead put your current focus on staying a-chive while up there."

"MRS. DREEMUR, HOW COULD YOU?! I THOUGHT WE HAD AN UNDERSTANDING!" Papyrus fake wept dramatically, but backed away a safe distance from the edge as requested of him.

"yeah, paps. better move back some before we make a mis-steak that'll cost us our lives."

"YOU SAY THAT, BUT YOU'RE ACTING LIKE YOU WANT ME TO THROW YOU OFF THIS ROOF!"

He reached over to snatch at Sans again, but before he could, he slipped and lost his balance, falling directly on his brother with a loud cry of alarm. Once again they heard the worried shouts of Toriel below.

"Sans and Papyrus Gaster!" Oh no, she had brought out the last name. "If one of you stumbles off that roof and the impact doesn't kill you, then so help me, I'll strangle the both of you myself!"

"yes, ma'am! sorry, ma'am! won't happen again!"

"YES, MA'AM! SORRY, MA'AM! WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN!"

Their tomfoolery immediately ceased and the two continued diligently painting the roof as they had before.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm so sorry for shouting at you like that, dears." She apologized once the two were finished and on safe solid ground. "But I don't know what I would have done if anything had happened to either of you."

She stole a glance at Sans's covered arms and said quietly, her voice dropping down to a whisper that only he could hear. "We've already suffered one tragedy. One is plenty enough."

He broke eye contact with her to wordlessly tug at his sleeves.

"Do they still hurt? Have you been using the balm the doctors prescribed to you?"

"yeah, i've been using it. and, no, it doesn't hurt." But while subjected under her caring gaze, he found that he couldn't lie to her. "…not as much as before."

She gave him relieved smile, happy that he decided to be honest with her. Before Papyrus could get too curious as to what they were talking about, Toriel decided to produce a distraction.

"I made lemonade earlier, and I think you boys have earned it after a job well done."

A short while later, the three were sipping on their drinks under the shade of her expansive front porch. During the evening, she liked to come out with Asgore and watch the fireflies dance about. She looked again towards the massive mountain.

"Sans? Papyrus? You mentioned earlier that the two of you occasionally climb Mount Ebott?"

The two of them nodded.

"Have you seen anything peculiar of interest?"

"…like what?"

"SANS GOES UP THERE MORE THAN I DO, SO IF HE HASN'T SEEN WHAT YOU'RE VAGUELY REFERRING TO, THEN I CERTAINLY HAVEN'T."

"Oh, just, you know… anything unusual."

"…ooohhh. you're talking about the wraiths, aren't you?"

"Well, not especially. I really did mean anything odd at all."

"well, if we're talking about the wraiths, than no, haven't seen 'em."

"I SAW A WILD GOOSE THE OTHER DAY. IT HONKED AT ME AND CHASED ME FOR A REALLY LONG TIME! I THREW A PIECE OF LETTUCE FROM A SANDWICH I HAD PACKED FOR LUNCH AT IT AND ITS ATTENTION WAS SUCCESSFULLY DIVERTED! ANOTHER SPECTACULAR VICTORY FOR THE GREAT PAPYRUS!"

"crazy bird." Sans shook his head, taking another sip of his glass before asking, "why'd you wanna know if we saw anything?"

"Because lately, a significant increase in sightings have been reported. Of the wraiths, I mean. I thought that if you two were walking the mountain trail, you may have seen something."

"nope. we haven't seen anything like that, have we, paps?"

"NO. JUST THE OCCASIONAL UNREASONABLY ANGRY BIRD."

"I see. I suppose that being pursued by a territorial goose is enough of a sight."

"do you believe in them, tori? i mean, they're just supposed to be old town legends, right?"

"I honestly don't know how to answer that question. It's true that people have lived in this town for centuries, and the existence of these shadow creatures hasn't been proven. They're even supposed to be highly skilled practitioners of magic. Magic! It all sounds so fantastical, it would be logical to believe it as pure fiction. And yet, so many have seen something up in the mountains that resembles those monsters of lore throughout the years, and their accounts all being so similar to one another with very little deviation." She breathed a relaxed sigh, sinking further into her rocking chair. "I guess I don't have a clear answer. But I do know that there are some things that science or logical reasoning just can't explain away, and I suppose the wraiths are just one of them. We may never know, and perhaps it's for the best it stay that way."

"FOR THE BEST? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?"

"because think about it, paps. if someone proved that the mountain had monsters on it, what do you think would happen?" Sans didn't give his brother a chance to answer before continuing. "they'd either be captured for experiments or killed on the spot. that's how it always goes in the books and movies, and art imitates life and life imitates art."

"…MAYBE THINGS WOULDN'T HAPPEN THAT WAY IF THEY WERE DISCOVERED BY THE RIGHT PERSON! IF THEY EXISTED, THAT IS."

"maybe. but that person'd have to be something special. most would kill something like that without a shred of hesitation."

He decided not to mention the more malevolent legends surrounding the wraiths – the ones where, if they caught you, they would eat you from the inside out and then inhabit your corpse in order to impersonate you.

After reading about those tales, Sans wondered how many innocent lives were taken when, many years ago, villagers were said to have burned anyone alive who went into the mountains and returned acting strange, believing their body had been abducted by a wraith.

As a child, his bullies had always told him he would never have to worry about a wraith wanting to steal his body, because you had to have a life in the first place for them to take, and his face was far too ugly for even a monster to desire.

"What about you, Sans? Do you believe the wraiths exist?" Toriel asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"i dunno, to be honest. i guess if enough evidence piles up, i will, but right now they still sound too much like something adults made up to make sure their kids stayed off the mountain so they didn't get eaten by bears or something." He took another sip of lemonade and chuckled. "now muffet, she definitely thinks they're real. that girl should have went on to be a cryptozoologist instead of working in her family's bakery, but she does make a mean blueberry muffin. she's gone up in the mountains for years and sometimes she comes back saying she saw something."

"Do you believe her?"

"i believe she believes she saw something, if that counts. muffet wants to see something so bad that maybe her eyes might be playing tricks on her."

"I think one's attitude towards the legends might have a lot to do with it. There are even some that travel to Mount Ebott with the sole purpose of trying to capture one on film. Almost all of them leave disappointed, but i have seen on the television some nights before in the past where one will get a photograph or video of a shadow that could be perceived as a wraith. Although, picture editing softwares exist now, don't they? So it all could be faked. This old lady doesn't know anything about modern technology - I still don't understand those me-mes you kids send me sometimes on the cellphone."

"it's pronounced 'memes', tori!" Sans actually laughed, almost spitting out his drink.

"Is that right? I've been pronouncing it wrong this entire time."

Suddenly Papyrus's cellphone went off, the familiar lyrics of Caravan Palace's 'Black Betty' filling the once relatively quiet space around them. He quickly picked it up and squinted at the screen.

"IT'S A TEXT MESSAGE. FROM UNDYNE! SHE TURNED ON HER LOCATION…? …SHE SAYS IT'S AN EMERGENCY! AND SHE NEEDS ME OVER THERE RIGHT AWAY!"

"You had better run along then and see what she wants." Toriel chuckled.

"AND I WILL! THANK YOU, MRS. DREEMUR, FOR THE DELICIOUS LEMONADE! I MUST BE OFF, FOR I AM NEEDED ELSEWHERE!"

With that, Papyrus jumped up and performed a backflip off the porch railing, landing perfectly on his feet an impressive distance away and sped off in the direction of the location Undyne had told him she was at, leaving trails of dust behind him in his wake.

"Will you be joining him? Wherever it is he's going?" Toriel asked Sans, who had moved from where he had been lounging in her hammock to sit up.

"maybe. i dunno. with undyne, an emergency can either mean anything from 'this guy is trying to rob somebody, let's pulverize him into oblivion' to 'hey, come watch me suplex this entire boulder'."

"I see. In that case, if you aren't leaving, then might I talk to you for a bit?"

"…what about, tori?"

"There were a few things that I wanted to ask you earlier, but Papyrus was here, so…" She took a deep breath, then let out a long sigh, her gaze both remorseful and sympathetic towards him for what was about to be said. "It's about you and Dr. Gaster."

"i figured as much." Sans replied flatly, then thought, "of course it had to be about that. i really don't wanna talk about this right now…"

While he had occasionally unloaded some of his familial issues onto Grillby when he just couldn't keep his inner turmoil locked away anymore and Grillby was persistent enough in getting him to open up, Toriel was his primary listening ear. The difference between the two was that when Grillby managed to convince Sans to air out his feelings, he gave as vague details as possible. He knew his friend only wanted to help; he would listen to his complaints without judging him and wouldn't spread what he heard around town, but there were just some things that occurred between him and Gaster that Sans didn't feel comfortable repeating.

Toriel, however, was a different case. She was easy to talk to, her gentle maternal aura unconsciously coaxing him into freely speaking what was on his mind on more occasions than he would have liked. She too wanted to offer her assistance in some way, even if all she could do was listen to his troubles, but he didn't want to bother her or anyone else with what he saw as trivial and petty matters. What went on between him and Gaster was solely their problem; not Grillby's, not Toriel's, not Undyne's, Alphys's, Muffet's, or even his brother's, San's believed. He and Gaster had gotten themselves into this current sad state of affairs themselves, and if their relationship was meant to be repaired at all, then that was something that could only be done by themselves.

Unfortunately, Toriel had become involved in the mess the two had created before it even truly began. When Gaster had taken him to the hospital that fateful day, it was her that treated Sans's wounds – she, his father, a few select staff at the hospital, and Sans himself were the only ones who presently bore knowledge of what his bare arms looked like. After the accident, he chose to conceal them from view to avoid any scrutinizing stares, even as the temperatures gradually began to climb. Not even Papyrus had seen the horrifying mess of burnt flesh that lied underneath the cloth.

He didn't want Papyrus to see that – Sans himself didn't want to see his arms whenever he was forced to take off his hoodie in order to apply medicine on the wounds, bathe, or change clothes.

"I didn't want to bring this topic up for discussion with Papyrus present. I know he means well, and please do not take offense for me saying this, but I feel as though he tries much too hard to force change."

Sans's sole reply was a low hum of acknowledgement; Toriel was right – he meant well, but Papyrus was rather pushy when it came to helping people with their problems, and Sans himself was no exception to this. Papyrus was a good listener, but he always wanted to help fix the problem after being informed – he was a person who wanted to see action being put towards the issue at hand with his own eyes and he expected immediate results.

His brother just wanted to help him in the only way he knew how. More so than anyone else, even Toriel with her infinite motherly doting. But Sans just couldn't let him see what he was trying so hard to hide from the eyes of the rest of the world, his physical and mental scars, even if it did mean eventually upsetting Papyrus.

Sans did everything he could for him, whether Papyrus was aware of it or not. Whether that meant anonymously slipping an extra twenty dollar bill into his wallet when he was a few bucks short of buying something he really wanted at the time or staying up until three in the morning listening to him prattle on for literal hours about his latest crush.

Sans would do almost anything for Papyrus. Nearly anything to preserve that smile that always brightened his day, no matter how terrible.

There was only one thing he could think of that he couldn't allow Papyrus.

He could pretend that everything between him and Gaster was fine, he could put on a fabricated smile and spoon feed him fake reassurances that things were getting better when they weren't, but the one thing Sans couldn't do for his brother was let him know just how broken up he really was, inside and out.

And while Toriel didn't approve of his evasive maneuvers against what she saw as procedures and methods that were supposed to be aiding him towards the process of healing mentally, she understood all too well why Sans would want to hide his serious personal affairs from Papyrus.

"One day you will have to let him in, Sans; let him know what's wrong and how you truly feel. You know that, don't you?"

"mmmnn…" His answer came in the form of an unenthusiastic and noncommital grunt.

"But I can't force the two of you to talk; it wouldn't be right, just as it isn't right for him to try to force you and Dr. Gaster to spend an extended duration of time with each other alone."

"i think maybe paps thinks that what's been going on between me and him can be solved with one talk and a hug, and then everything will go back to how it used to be."

"That's an unrealistic expectation. A familial dispute such as this could take months, perhaps even years to properly mend. And that's alright. Because healing of any kind takes time depending on the size and severity of the wound. Just like your own, Sans."

"…i lied to you earlier, tori." His voice had dropped to a whisper. "they still hurt. they still hurt a lot."

She took his hands in hers, giving them a squeeze. "I know you don't believe me when I tell you this, but it will get better." Her palms moved up to his lower arms, almost causing him to flinch from the contact. "The pain you're feeling right now will gradually fade."

He couldn't meet her eyes. "…but they won't ever go away, will they?"

This was a question that he had already asked Toriel before, one which he already knew the answer to since long before now.

But it didn't stop him from hoping, that just maybe it was possible that-

She frowned, fighting the sting of tears that threatened to form in her eyes as she gingerly traced over his sleeves. "No. Not in the manner that you wish them to. We… did the best that we could at the time, Sans. I'm so sorry we couldn't do more for you…"

"i know that. and i'm grateful for all you've done to make this bearable. it's just… one of those things that won't get any better, no matter how much time passes." He shrugged, trying to save face by acting unaffected. "maybe the same could be said about me and gaster."

"Maybe not and maybe so. But mutual effort is needed in order to bring about a change."

"i am trying, tori!" He suddenly snapped, taking a step back. "papyrus keeps telling me over and over, 'TRY THIS TIME' and i always do! but just about every single time we try to have what should be a short and civil conversation with each other, one of us ends up saying something to make the other fly off the handle! the both of us should just back off then, but no, it just gets worse and worse because neither of us will shut up! and what gets it all started in the first place is almost always something that's so stupid to get so heated up over when it's all said and done and we're thinking back on it later. and it's just getting worse and worse as the days pass by!" Sans suddenly slumped where he stood, his volume dropping to a defeated mutter. "sooner or later, we're going to stop coming to the realization that what we were even shouting at each other over was stupid to begin with. …why do we argue so much about things that are completely insignificant and have nothing to do with the actual problem? gaster's mad at me for getting kicked out of college and ruining my own life and i'm mad at him because… his crazy experiments got me hurt and he went right back to wanting me to work with him in the lab again like nothing happened after."

Toriel didn't say anything for a while. Sans had wandered over to her garden bench and sat down, his clenched hands grabbing fistfuls of his hair as he stared without emotion at the ground. He had completely shut down for the moment. It had been a while since he had done this, but she knew what to do. She found it was best to let him come back on his own terms, let him sort out the chaos in his head.

She would stand by and wait quietly until then.

He didn't stay like this for long. He never did. She had been counting down the minutes on her watch. Four minutes of silence from him when finally, he murmured,

"gaster loves his work more than he ever loved me. …i know he loves us, but he loves his work more. paps and i just can't compete with it anymore."

"What makes you believe that he loves his work more?"

"aside from the fact that he tried to get me back in the lab so soon after i'd been released from the hospital? i… started noticing things after i came home for good."

"What sort of things?" Toriel questioned cautiously.

While Sans had spoken of his continuous quarrels with Gaster whenever she could persuade him to talk, he had never once told her about anything pertaining to details he had picked up from the doctor following the origin of their disagreements. She was breaching new territory.

"back when i first started working with gaster, we spent a lot of time together. in and out of the lab. it was fun then, but at the time, i didn't really think about how papyrus felt about it. he never got good grades in the science classes in school, you know, but i did. i think me and alph got the highest scores out of everyone. but lately i've started to wonder if papyrus actually felt left out. because gaster was so focused on me, he didn't pay all that much attention to him anymore. …and i didn't either. not as much as i did before. when i stopped going to college and after we got into that fight, the really big one that kind of started all these smaller ones between us, he stopped talking to me too for a while. it was like i didn't even exist, like i was a ghost in my own house."

Toriel had to bite her tongue to keep from saying anything.

She truly did want for there to be eventually, one day in the future, a happy resolution to the Gaster family conflict. However, while she tried to remain neutral to both parties on the outside, on the inside, she leaned more towards favoring Sans's point of view on the things that went on in the household. She knew that the doctor loved both his sons and was trying just as much as Sans was to make things right, in his own misguided way, but Toriel couldn't stop herself from feeling a bit cross towards the doctor and placing the blame on him for this entire debacle.

Gaster was a man of logic and reason. Displaying and successfully evoking the more tender emotions residing in his heart came difficult to him. Sans could repeat to her every single word said by Gaster in each one of their arguments they had in these past few months and she would probably find herself capable of translating just what it was he had actually wanted to say to his son, but it wouldn't mean a thing if it came from her mouth and not his.

As much as she wanted to go off on Gaster herself on some instances after seeing Sans so miserable, Toriel knew the last thing she needed to do was encourage the two to emotionally stray further away from each other by widening the gap between them with her own biased opinions and personal feelings on the matter.

"Sans, you have nothing to feel guilty for, if that's what this is about." She rested a hand on his shoulder, sitting down next to him. "I know you well enough to believe that you truly have been putting in your best effort to make amends with Dr. Gaster. And sometimes simply that is enough."

"isn't there anything i can do to make it better though, tori? i'm so sick of fighting with him."

She thought for a few moments, then shook her head with a resigned sigh. "I'm afraid I don't, dear. I've never seen a case quite like yours and the doctor's… Asgore and I have had disagreements before, everyone does, but they never lasted long and we always grew closer afterward. During those unpleasant times, when our feelings of anger burned bright, we kept our distance from each other until we were ready to talk again. So perhaps what you are doing now is best."

"but what if he wants to talk and i'm not ready to?"

"Then tell him. Just say, 'I'm sorry, but I don't feel ready to talk yet'. If he continues to pursue the subject, then he is the one in the wrong at that point and you have right to feel upset. …I must say, I think you're handling this far more maturely than most would in your situation, Sans."

"you really think that?" He lifted his head to look up at her with wide eyes filled with disbelief.

"I wouldn't have said so if I thought differently." She let out a light chuckle, gently ruffling his hair. "You recognize when you've done wrong and feel remorseful, seeking to amend your past mistakes and readily admit to when you were wrong once the fire has died. Not many people are like that, instead choosing to stick fast to their hateful words that were said in a moment of anger out of pride. You even had the courage to walk away instead of staying to fight, even though some would unrightfully claim that doing so was cowardly. there is absolutely no shame to be found in walking away from an unpleasant situation."

"thanks tori, i… actually feel a little better now." His own words surprised him, his chest truly did feel a bit lighter than it did before. "but how did you know gaster and I got into it earlier?"

She bit her lip. "Because I received a text message from Asgore. Dr. Gaster appeared at town hall suddenly and the two have apparently been talking with each other ever since. Gorey told me from the sound of things, it seemed like the both of you had another argument."

"oh, that explains it then." He said after a beat, a sense of relief falling over him – he had thought someone in town passed by their house and somehow eavesdropped, then decided to gossip and it reached Toriel's ears.

"You know, they've known each other for years. They've been the best of friends since even before Asgore and I married. You of course weren't born at the time, but the doctor was Asgore's best man at our wedding and Asgore at his. Asgore still talks about their wedding, your father's and Miriam's."

"…gaster never told me about any of that stuff."

Sans and Papyrus didn't know anything about their mother. Gaster never spoke of her and she had died when both brothers were small, Papyrus being two years old and Sans five. Try as he might, Sans couldn't remember a thing about her. The only evidence of her ever existing were some old photos Sans had managed to smuggle out from under his father's nose, the ring she had once wore now stowed away in its box inside their house, and Sans's left eye.

Both brothers even existing was proof enough of their mother's existence; her hair color which they shared was the color of snow, but white hair existed in both their maternal and paternal family trees. Sans's left eye, that startling shade of light blue, came solely from her. There were times when Gaster wouldn't even look him in the face because of his heterochromia, and when Sans was furious, sometimes it was as if Miriam was haunting him from beyond the grave through her oldest son.

Sans took out his phone from his hoodie pocket. "i had better go see what it is that undyne wanted, just in case it really was something important. 'm sorry for suddenly blowing up on you like that, tori."

"It's alright, Sans. I know you didn't mean to and you're carrying a great amount of stress on your shoulders, but if it helped you to feel better by even the slightest amount, I would stand here and permit you to shout whatever was on your mind at me for as long as your voice would allow."

"you're too good for this sin-filled world, tori." He spoke after a pause, having raised his arms up about halfway, wanting to request a hug from her but too shy to ask despite the fact that this woman practically raised him and loved giving and receiving physical gestures of affection.

Thankfully, years of knowing him had made it easy for her to read his body language. She swiftly swept him into a comforting embrace and whispered,

"I know that this world is filled with unspeakable horrors, but I've found that life is also abundant with many indescribable blessings. Please, no matter how difficult life may become for you, never forget them."

Once again, she was right, he could admit to himself. He may have an emotionally distant father and an unattractive body, but he had been gifted a group of friends that actually cared for him and the best brother than anyone could ever ask for. If he remembered those things, the bad points of his day became more livable.

After she released him and he her, she slipped a small wad of cash into his pocket. "For the roof – you're helping to keep the household up now and the bills aren't getting any cheaper."

"thanks, tori. …for everything."

"Anytime, dear. Now run along and see what Undyne wants before she hunts you down. You wouldn't want that to happen, would you?"

Sans winced, remembering the last time he had dared to brush her off.

Piledrivers. Lots and lots of piledrivers.

He turned towards the direction Papyrus had taken off and his phone buzzed; Undyne had sent him her location. Good, it seemed as though he wasn't in hot water with her, otherwise she would have just ignored his text and hunted him down, as Toriel said.

She and Papyrus were down at the riverbed, but she gave no details about just what it was they were doing down there and why she had texted Papyrus saying there was an emergency.

Oh well. He supposed that he would find out when he got there.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

"SANS! Do you have ANY idea how late you are?!" Undyne barked as soon as he came into her line of view.

"i didn't know i was supposed to show up…?" He offered with a small shrug. "you sent the text to my bro, not me, so how was i supposed to know you wanted me here too? i just thought i should show up since paps said you told him it was an emergency."

"Oh, don't give me that crap!" She stomped over and jabbed a finger into his chest. "and it is an emergency! Haven't you heard the news?!"

"uh…?"

"The town police has been talking about it ALL week – the shadow monster sightings up in the mountains have been CRAZY lately! Chief of police said that if somebody could catch one and bring it back to the station, there'd be something good in it for them! Do you have ANY idea what that means, Sans?!"

"uh-"

"IT MEANS UNDYNE MIGHT FINALLY GET TO BE AN OFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE FORCE IF SHE CAN PULL IT OFF, WHICH I BELIEVE SHE CAN!" Papyrus answered for her, causing her to whip her head in his direction.

"PAPYRUS!" Undyne yelled, jumping over to him and grabbing him into a head lock. "Don't interrupt me when I was just about to tell him myself! …But thanks for the confidence – really appreciate it!"

"IF YOU APPRECIATE ME, YOU WOULD STOP NOOGIE-ING ME!" He nearly squealed, trying to break out of her hold.

She quickly released him and bounced back to Sans.

"I've called up Alphys and Muffet for help in planning this whole thing out. Alphys is gonna help me track one down and Muffet probably knows more about those things than everybody else in town put together! They're late too, but they're supposed to be here any minute now. The only reason why I haven't noogie-d you into the next dimension is because you happened to show up before they did, so consider yourself lucky, punk!"

"then, uh, what's mettaton here to do?"

"Mettaton? I didn't invite hi-" She noticed his gaze straying to over her shoulder and turned around, then exclaimed, "Oh HECK no!"

"Oh heck YES, darlings!" Mettaton retorted, stepping forward with Alphys and Muffet following behind.

"Why are you here?!"

"Well that certainly is a rude way to greet an old friend!" He huffed, sticking his nose into the air and crossing his arms. He cracked open one eye, "But since you're so curious, I was over at Alphys's house when you texted – she's helping Blooky and I with our band, you know. Audio equipment, technical stuff and such and all that jazz. When I heard that you wanted her, Sans, Papyrus, and even Muffet to come here, but not me, well… I simply wouldn't stand for it! …So here I am, in the flesh. Uninvited, but fashionably late, as per usual."

"…And just what is 'even Muffet' supposed to mean?" Muffet stared at him with narrowed eyelids, a sweet smile on her face but the danger that lied under her expression was evident to all. "I'm beginning to believe that I am unwelcome among this circle of friends. Perhaps I should just go and-"

"No, wait!" Undyne shouted, bowling over Mettaton to reach her. "Don't leave! He's the one that wasn't invited, not you! And I really need your help with this, Muffet."

"Alright, since my company means so much to you, I suppose I can stay for a while…" She giggled, her mood doing a complete one-eighty degree shift.

"Okay, now that everyone is here, plus the unexpected and unwanted addition of Mettaton-"

"Hey! What did I ever do to you?!"

"Let's get down to business." Undyne walked over to a tree stump by the water's edge and raised one foot to rest on it. "…So, how are we going to pull this off?"

"Y-You mean you called all of us here and you have no idea what you're doing?" Alphys asked, gobsmacked.

"Well DUH, if I had any idea on what I'm supposed to do, I wouldn't have bothered dragging you all to this spot." Undyne looked at them as if they were the ones wasting her time. "Mount Ebott is HUGE. Like… REDONKULOUSLY huge. Finding one of those shadow monsters would be like finding a needle in a haystack, if the haystack was the size of… I dunno, a whale or something? Anyway, I hate to admit this, I mean REALLY hate it, but I can't just go tearing up there looking for something that's lived there its whole life and knows the place better than I ever will and all the places it can hide. It's a mission bound for failure if I go up there unprepared – I gotta be smart about this. So, that's where all of you come in."

"…uh, undyne?"

"Yes, Sans? What is your question?"

"you do realize that you're talking about catching a creature that isn't supposed to exist, right? i didn't know you believed in them."

"I didn't until the guys at the station started talking about them! It STILL sounded completely bogus to me until all these supposed to be really credible eyewitnesses started showing up at the station and Gerson and the rest started passing around the pictures those people turned in. I saw 'em with my own two eyeballs and they looked real, not like those computer edited photos they show sometimes on the TV. I even heard they might be sending them to Dr. Gaster so he can test if they're fakes or not."

"gaster wouldn't bother doing something like that – he'd just look and say they were fakes without even paying attention to what's on 'em."

"He will if these reports get to be a big enough thing around the town!" Undyne shot back with a maniacal grin. "If the doctor gives the word that they're the real deal, then the hunt is on. And I'm not talking about myself – there'll be people from all over the country flocking here to the mountain. I've got to do this now before that happens and this great little window of opportunity that's opened up just for me is suddenly slammed shut in my face. …SO HELP A GAL OUT, WOULD'JYA?!"

She received mixed levels of enthusiasm from the replies of the small group she had gathered, but their hesitation was apparently enough of an answer for her – and the answer she had picked up from them was yes.

Sans sighed to himself,

"this is going to be just like the time she tried capturing santa claus when we were kids…"

"Poor Mr. Dreemur… He never saw the net coming." Alphys added solemnly.

"Alright, so listen up you pack of weenies! But not you though, Alphys. You're a peach and we're all glad that you're here." Undyne couldn't stop from showing her favoritism among present company. "So, back to what I was saying before Mr. Negative Nancy threw me off track – how are we gonna do this?"

Everyone was silent for a while.

"howz about we all go to lunch to think it over and talk about this again sometime after?"

"It's almost evening, you lazy clod!"

"Undyne, dearie, you're going about this all wrong." Muffet's smooth voice interjected.

"How so?" Undyne turned to her and crossed her arms impatiently.

"If you really wish to find a wraith, then you need to know exactly what it is you're walking into. They're clever beings, Undyne. They're adept masters at hiding and keeping their presence hidden from the world. It won't be like capturing a pesky possum eating your pet cat's food or a raccoon rummaging through your garbage and strewing it everywhere each night. This outbreak of sightings is merely a game of peek-a-boo to them, most likely. If you go up there looking to capture one of them, all that awaits you is disappointment."

"You're a fine one to talk, Muffet! You go up in those mountains several times a week looking for 'em and you've been doing it practically since you learned to walk!"

"Yes, dearie, all of what you just said is true. However, my goal isn't to apprehend one like a common criminal." Muffet's smile turned eerie. "The wraiths are simply impossible to catch, that's what I've come to believe. If you do encounter one and attempt to take one into custody, your face may just get ripped off for trying. You've heard the more… malevolent tales concerning them, haven't you?"

"Is that supposed to scare me?" Undyne scoffed. "So the wraiths can kill me. So could another human. So could a dog. So could a very dedicated duck!"

Papyrus nodded readily at her last point.

"The wraiths aren't that special in that department. What DOES make them special to me is that they're gonna help me finally secure a place in the police force!"

Undyne had known since before she ever entered kindergarten that she wanted to be a police officer when she grew up. She wanted to take down bad guys and arrest them, punish them and keep them away from the rest of society for the good people's sake and peace of mind. But when she graduated high school and tried to apply for a position she was immediately rejected. Apparently her frequent brawls with the local youth and her firey personality had branded Undyne as a troublemaker in the eyes of the force, everybody except Gerson.

He sympathized with her, so he talked with the rest of his coworkers and after much debate, they finally gave her a job – sort of. She was relegated to the position of 'mountain patrol', a fake position given to her out of pity where she circled the road that stretched around the base of Mount Ebott to search for anyone that may be breaking the law. She had received her own uniform and a walkie talkie like the others, but it was obvious that she wasn't considered one of them by the rest of the officers.

Undyne had done her job with as much passion as she could muster at first, thinking that if they saw her hard at work then a promotion might be on her horizon in the future. She had caught several individuals before that had tried to make the mountain their own personal dumpster through illegal dumping. She had apprehended one man who had committed several robberies and hid his stolen goods somewhere in that area. She had even prevented a very drunk man from kidnapping a woman who had been walking by herself that night and witnessed him trying to drag her up onto the mountain to do heaven knows what with her.

And despite all that, everyone on the force with the exception of Gerson still looked down on her.

That's why Undyne felt she had to prove herself to them by doing the impossible: capturing one of the elusive wraiths that roamed the mountain territories.

"Muffet does actually have a point, kind of." Alphys timidly spoke, causing the attention to be drawn to her. "Monsters or no monsters, it's still i-incredibly dangerous up there! Like you said, Mount Ebott is enormous, and how many times have you actually gone up there?"

Undyne looked down at her hand and began counting on her fingers. "…None."

"See? S-So maybe before you go up there, maybe it would be better to… become more familiar with the geography? Muffet, does the library have a map of the mountain?"

"I've got something better than the library…" Undyne whipped her head around, tossed a piece of blank paper then a pencil and pointed with a shout, "Sans! Draw me a map of Mount Ebott!"

He looked at the sheet and pencil resting at his feet and back at her with an owlish gaze.

"are you insane? i can't draw a map of the entire mountain!"

"I thought that Papyrus said you and him have been up there a lot in the past few months!"

"yeah, we have, but not enough that we've memorized everything up there! i've been up there more than paps and I haven't even made it one third of the way to the top! if mount ebott was an english mastiff, then we're the equivalent of a bunch of fleas jumping on its back! i don't think there's a person that's ever lived in this town or anywhere on earth that knows everything there is to know about that place and its geography. there is no complete map of ebott because i've looked. this whole idea of your is dangerous and crazy, undyne."

He was expecting her to blow up, but instead she inhaled through her nose and placed her forehead against her palm.

"You don't think I know that? But this may be the best chance I'll ever have of getting some respect from the force."

"Is getting respect from people that never believed in you worth possibly losing your life?"

Surprisingly, it was Mettaton that had asked her this question, and he for once looked serious.

"Undyne, if you truly want to hunt down one of those monsters, then I support your ambitions entirely, but you're still heading into something risky. You haven't planned this at all, you just assembled the team and hoped we'd have what you wanted to hear. And as for earning respect? Who needs it! Everyone told me I was making a mistake when I changed my name and formed my band, and they still do, but I'm happier now than I ever was before. I'm sure that fame will come our way any day now, but we're preparing ourselves for it every day. You, however, despite having told us that you wanted to play it smart, were planning on tearing off up there immediately after this little meeting of your is adjourned, correct?"

Undyne wouldn't look at him, but she gave a short nod.

"That's what I thought. I know this feels like a race against time to secure a place where you are comfortable belonging, but you need patience if you truly want to pull this off. Do some research, look at some maps, even if they are incomplete because some knowledge is better than none, and then you can go into the mountains with nets and fists ablaze to bag yourself a shadow monster!"

"…Wow, Mettaton." Alphys stared at him with wide eyes. "T-That's the most wise I think I've ever heard you speak! Usually you're encouraging us to make bad decisions for the sake of drama."

"You're right. He is acting strangely out of character…" Undyne pondered aloud, then shouted, "You're not Mettaton at all! You're actually one of the wraiths, aren't you?!"

Everyone knew she was joking, but the sudden increase in volume of her voice still made Mettaton jump. Before he could respond to her accusation, Undyne grabbed him around the ankle and swung him over her shoulder.

"Undyne, put me down this instant!"

"Nuh uh, you're coming down to the station with me. You're under arrest."

Everyone started laughing and snickering at his vain attempts to release himself from her hold, Alphys and Muffet having taken out their phones to record the scene.

"Undyne, please! If you're going to insist on carrying me, at least make it a princess carry! I deserve that much!" He loudly whined.

"Now that sounds like something Mettaton would actually say…" Undyne halted her steps, pretending to be in deep thought. "Huh, maybe the wraith hasn't completely taken over yet…"

"well, you know what the legends say to do, right?" Sans grinned, walking towards the two at a leisurely pace. "when the wraith's taken over, you burn it. when there's still hope left for the poor victim, you drown it out."

"…Don't. You. Dare." Mettaton hissed.

"Grab his legs, Sans."

"you got it, boss."

Together, the two heaved the frantically wiggling Mettaton closer to the slowly moving water. He began to screech when they started swinging him back and forth.

"SHOULD WE DO SOMETHING…?" Papyrus questioned the two girls, feeling as though he should perhaps say something.

"No, dear. This is just a… how you say, a jape." Muffet giggled.

"I'm not saying anything because this should be enough payback for him erasing my downloaded Mew Mew Kissy Cutie episodes on that disc I left laying out just so he could use it."

Papyrus didn't think Alphys was the type to partake in petty revenge, but the more you know, he thought.

"Sans! Undyne! Stop this madness immediately! My fabulous hairstyle will be ruined! And my makeup will run!"

"One…! Two…! Three…!" "one…! two…! three…!"

At the count of three, they both tossed him into the river, screeching and yowling like a cat when the cool water hit his body. Undyne and Sans both gave a whoop and cheered, laughing as they bumped fists before it turned into an elaborate and handsy handshake that ended in the two playfully wrestling each other on the ground.

"PILE DRIVER!"

"ow, undyne!"

"HEADLOCK!"

"nooooo! c'mon 'dyne, is this any way to treat your partner in crime?"

"Sorry, Sans, but war takes no prisoners. You already know what's next. NOOGIE NOOGIE NOOGIE NOOGIE!"

"agh! your knuckles are sharp!"

Mettaton spluttered and was thrashing in the water, trying to flounder towards shore but failing miserably.

"Come on, Mettaton, stop being so dramatic." Undyne rolled her eyes, her arm still wrapped around Sans's neck. "You're not drowning, the water only comes up to your collarbones if you're standing up."

He immediately ceased his splashing and did as she instructed, standing on his own feet to find that what she said was correct.

"…So it seems." Was all that he said, his voice small and clearly embarrassed.

"c'mon. i'll help ya out." Sans crouched down and offered his hand.

Mettaton smiled to himself, reaching over to clasp his outstretched palm. But before he could pull Sans into the water, Sans grabbed him and flung him over his shoulder then onto the grass on his back.

"…I dislike you with great intensity." He narrowed his eyes at Sans.

"i give you points for trying though, pal."

"Okay, so I will hand it to Mettaton that he's made a good point. I don't need to rush into this blindly and risk ending up a future episode of 'Missing'." Undyne began.

"And you had to throw my poor self into the water to admit that?" He sniffed, wringing out his soaking wet hair.

"Yes. It was entirely necessary, Mettaton. To banish the wraith from your body." She nodded sagely. "Anyway, I've decided that what I'm going to do is, I'm gonna find all the maps that I can of Ebott and, ugh, study them, bleh. And Muffet, if you could lend me some of your books, I'd really appreciate it."

To no one's surprise, she retrieved a large and thick book with an ominous featureless figure on the cover out of her little black spider plushie purse that she always carried (how did she even fit it in there?) and handed it to Undyne.

"You're wasting your time, dearie."

"You'll be saying that when I've caught what you've been looking for for literal years in just a matter of days." Undyne shot back good naturedly.

"Undyne! Patience? Future episode of 'Missing'? Remember?!" Mettaton piped up again – despite being completely drenched by the two, he still cared very much about her.

"I got it, I got it. But once I'm done doing the boring part, I'm not leaving a single stone uncovered until I find a wraith! Thank you all for coming here today, but I've gotta get started! Later, dorks!"

Undyne then sped off in the direction of the town's library, or librarby, as the mispelled sign out in front stated, without another word of goodbye.

"She calls us all here suddenly and she's gone just as quickly." Mettaton remarked with a defeated sigh. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to blow dry my hair now."

"you aren't mad at us, are you?"

"…No. I'm not. It was all in good fun, after all." He then smirked. "But I'll be getting you both back for it in the future, darling. Just you wait and see."

"bring it on, matt."

"I'm afraid I have no clue who you're speaking of." He all but sang, turning around and giving everyone else a wave goodbye. "Ta-tah, darlings."

"WHAT ABOUT YOU, ALPHYS?" Papyrus asked, "HOW WILL YOU BE SPENDING YOUR EVENING?"

"I-I think I'll catch up with Undyne. If she really does want to do this, then I think I should help however I can and k-keep an eye on her so she doesn't do anything s-sudden or rash, like Mettaton said."

"OKAY! HAVE FUN!"

Once Alphys had left, it was just Sans and Papyrus with Muffet.

"i hope you aren't expecting that book to be in one piece when you get it back." Sans told her. "i dunno if you noticed, but she can be kind of rough handling things."

"Oh, that's perfectly alright, dearie. If she damages my book, I'm certain that she can reimburse me to purchase another copy."

Both brothers looked at each other with a worried frown – that book had not looked cheap.

"It's a lovely evening, isn't it, boys?" She gestured to skies above that were beginning to be tinted with orange. "A perfect evening for a mountain walk, wouldn't you agree?"

"is that what you're gonna do?"

"I'm afraid not. Mummy needs me to make a birthday cake for a customer that's coming by to pick it up tomorrow. But maybe I'll see you on the mountain trail sometime. Ciao."

"WELL, SANS, EVERYONE ELSE IS GONE WITH THE NIGHT VASTLY APPROACHING! WE SHOULD PROBABLY BOTH HEAD HOME NOW AND-"

"actually, i think i'll go do what muffet suggested and take a walk." He quickly replied, not wanting to see Gaster just yet.

"WELL, ALRIGHT…" Papyrus looked like someone had told him his dog died. "JUST DON'T STAY OUT TOO LATE, ALRIGHT? AND KEEP YOUR CELL PHONE ON YOU AT ALL TIMES! IF THE BATTERY IS RUNNING LOW, THEN COME HOME IMMEDIATELY!"

"will do. i'll see ya later, paps."

He started walking in the direction of the mountain, its magnificent shadow stretching over him and the rest of the town.

Wraiths.

He still wasn't convinced they exist.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello, dearie."

Sans nearly jumped out of his skin. He had said so earlier that Muffet should have been a cryptozoologist, but he also believed that she would make an excellent assassin with how she could quietly creep up on unsuspecting people.

"muffet! i thought you left."

"I did. And now I'm back, but only momentarily."

They were standing at the base of Mount Ebott directly in front of one of the dirt roads that led into the mountain.

"so, uh, what brings you here?"

"I wanted to show you something interesting." She smiled in a way that made him feel somewhat uncomfortable.

She moved towards a thick group of bushes and motioned for him to follow.

"…you're not going to show me a dead body, are you?"

"Don't be ridiculous, dearie. I said something interesting, did I not?"

She then moved aside the shrubbery to reveal a small statue that he had never seen before. It looked almost like a vase, hourglass shaped, and it seemed ancient, probably hundreds of years old.

"Now look inside it."

He did as instructed and found a large stone inside, colored red, yellow and orange, and was carved in the shape of the sun. It was resting on a pedestal of some sort and large silver prongs held the stone firmly in place to ensure it wasn't easily removed.

"I bet you had no idea this was here, did you?"

"no, i didn't. …so what is it?"

"This monument was constructed by the people of Ebott Village many centuries ago. There are more of them spread out at the base of the mountain. They were made to keep the villagers safe here, and the wraiths confined up there."

"how are these things supposed to keep them up there?"

"That stone inside the totem is a sunstone. According to gemology it's believed that they can harness the power of the sun. The combined power of these stones create a ring of protection that wards off the shadow monsters; think of it as being almost like an electric fence."

"i'd never heard that before." He rubbed his chin, leaning closer to the statue. "i can't remember ever seeing one of these things before, and they're all over the town?"

"Just around the base, but yes."

"i wonder why i never noticed them."

"They've become well hidden throughout the years. The legends began to fade out, nature's madness took over, and they were gradually forgotten. I suppose if they were well known, some might try to steal the sunstones inside. Of course, according to the old documents on them I acquired, they say misfortune falls on those that would attempt to take the stones."

Sans wasn't superstitious in the slightest, but he couldn't help but think aloud. "something still doesn't make sense, though – the myths say that wraiths would steal the bodies of humans to impersonate them. if the statues make some kind of invisible magic ring that they can't cross, why go to the trouble of stealing a body if they're stuck on the mountain?"

"Oh, Sans. Don't you see? That's precisely why they would need the body of a human." At his perplexed expression, she continued with a wry smile. "The bodies of a wraith, made of shadows, would incinerate if they made contact with the sunstone ring. So, they capture a human that wandered into their territory, hollow out the body, then liquify their own body and crawl inside so they can safely bypass the ring."

Sans felt his stomach churn at the graphic mental images she had instilled in his brain. "that's disgusting, muffet."

"Heehee! You should see your face – so sour right now." She giggled. "Well, I just thought I'd share that with you. Have fun up there, oh, and don't get eaten!"

"you're full of it, muffet!" He called out to her as she began walking away with that light girlish chuckle of hers.

"Is that any way to talk to your amicable ex-girlfriend?" She laughed.

"you're not my ex-girlfriend! it was one date, that gaster set up, and we both agreed it wasn't a real date because neither of us agreed to it."

Even though they had left the 'date' as better friends than before and Sans didn't hold any romantic feelings for her then or presently, Muffet had told him at the time that he wasn't her type. He understood entirely, she wasn't obligated to feel that way towards him even though the two did get along swimmingly when she wasn't being morbid. But he couldn't help but wonder if his looks had anything to do with her decision.

"You know I'm just teasing you, dearie. No need to get so hot under the collar. And speaking of hot, aren't you steaming by now in that hoodie?"

"a little, but it's nothing i can't handle." He didn't mind Muffet asking about his hoodie – she wouldn't look down on him for wearing it out of season because she too had a peculiar fashion sense.

"Suit yourself, dearie. Bye-bye~"

After Muffet had left, for real this time, he began his ascension up the mountain trail. The mountain didn't have any roads built on it, just traversable paths created by nature. As far as he knew, nobody lived anywhere up there despite how expansive it was. It had remained the same for centuries, devoid of modern civilization and a sanctuary for Ebott's wildlife.

The dirt roads only stretched so far before grass overtook them. From that point onward was where the mountain began looking like several different worlds had been melded together. Sans had only seen a handful of the mysterious sights Mount Ebott had to offer, but what he had seen made it sometimes worth the hike up there: a lake with waterfalls in sizes both great and small, a field of flowers that stretched on and on with no end in sight, thick forests that were so dark it was almost impossible to see your own hand in front of your face…

And that was just what he had seen with his own eyes one-third of the way up the mountain. He hadn't explored the sides of the mountain or the areas higher up, like the snowcapped top or the caves rich with odd stones and minerals. He supposed he could spend every day on this mountain for the rest of his life and still not know everything about the place. Perhaps if he continued visiting and going a little further each time, he would be the first to create a complete map of Ebott.

Sans didn't come here to chase shadows or cause trouble for the environment like most did when they passed by - he came here because it was quiet, save for the songs of birds and the wailing of the cicadas. Being surrounded by the peaceful scenery and focused on the thrill of the climb took his mind off of the problems he had left behind at home.

When he was younger, he had wanted to explore the mountain with his group of friends. They were labelled far too young for such a dangerous activity, and were consequently restricted to playing near the river bed and the small wooded areas spread around town; everyone pretended they were at Mount Ebott, but now he was living out his childhood self's dreams of adventure here in the present.

Even so, he missed those days dearly.

His younger self never imagined that everything in his life would have turned out the way it did. When he was younger, he thought his body looked the way it did because of baby fat and he would eventually grow out of it after he reached puberty. Instead, he only grew more bulky. When he was younger, he thought that he and his father would be working together as equals to revitalize the town that was considered dead-end by not only outsiders, but its own citizens. Instead, he was injured by one of his father's own creations and ruined his one chance to get an education from a prestigious academy thus estranging himself from his father, and the townspeople still wanted to leave and would complain whenever they did and came back.

Sans hadn't been in a rush to grow up when he was a child, but he thought that it would have been more fun than what it turned out to be.

He was the one out of the group that was supposed to soar above them all in terms of success, and he had sunken below them all.

Papyrus was doing the exact same thing he was doing; completing odd jobs around town, but he was only doing that to gain experience and had plenty of drive. Undyne was bettering herself every day and was aiming for a higher position in Ebott's police force even if her methods of attempting to do so were insane in his eyes. Alphys had more or less taken his place as Gaster's first hand assistant in the lab after he quit having anything to do with science – he didn't hold it against Alphys at all even though she apologized constantly for it even in the present, he was the one that chose to quit. Even Mettaton had a better future planned for himself than him; yes, he was a bit in over his head with his dream of instantly achieving fame and becoming a star, but Sans had to admit that he was creative and talented in some aspects. He might not achieve prime stardom like he wanted, but Sans wouldn't be surprised if he did aquire a little slice of recognition in the future.

Everyone else seemed to know exactly what it was they were doing with their lives.

He didn't have a clue anymore.

There existed legends of people that climbed the mountain only to disappear without a trace. Paranormal explanations or not, there still existed records of persons that were last seen heading towards the mountain then never heard from again. That was many years ago though, and nobody has been reported missing in this town in over a hundred years.

But, if he were to disappear, Sans wondered, would he be missed…?

He rapidly shook his head, immediately banishing the intrusive thought. Of course he would be missed; Toriel would grieve for him if something ever happened to cut his life short, his friends would mourn, and Papyrus… Papyrus would never be the same without him. If Sans died, he would be taking a piece of his brother with him.

He didn't know why such a thought would enter his head in the first place; even though his life had been turned on its head, he had a great group of friends and he appreciated being alive.

But he still could have lived without the permanent marks on his arms. They were throbbing painfully under his sleeves, and he hadn't brought any medicine with him to ease the sensation.

Sans could hear the sound of running water up ahead after a while longer of walking. He came to a clearing where the river was and looked both left and right to see if it was safe to shed his hoodie. He wasn't sure what he was looking for; all that was here in this area were birds, and they couldn't blab his secret to the town.

He slid his arms out of the sleeves, crouched down by the rocky mountain riverbed and dipped them into the clean cool water. It soothed the angry enflamed marks on his skin, but only a little. Not even the balms and creams Toriel prescribed to him completely eased the pain.

He had been in near constant pain since the accident, and he wondered if that was how he would be spending the rest of his life despite Toriel's reassurances.

Sans had allowed himself to relax for a few minutes, listening to the wind blow through the nearby tree branches as he tended to his wounds. Every muscle, every joint in his body locked up when he heard the bushes on the other side of the river rustle.

It didn't sound like a small creature made the noise. He hurriedly yanked his arms from the water and threw on his hoodie before scrambling for the thickets on his own side of the river. If he left now, he would be creating too much noise, so he would wait it out until whatever it was left.

The creature's footsteps sounded too light to be a bear but too heavy for a raccoon or possum. He waited, concealing himself in the shrubbery until only his eyes were peeking out between the leaves. The sounds gradually grew closer as the seconds ticked by, buy Sans felt like he had been waiting for the noisemaker to show itself for hours.

Finally, it stepped out of the forest, and he was surprised to find himself looking at a girl.

At least, she appeared to be a girl. And she was wearing incredibly bizarre clothing; a large floppy pointed hat and a long sleeved robe that stretched down to her feet. Her hair was unusually long as well, reaching past her waist. But the most unusual thing about this girl was her skin – it was dark. Beyond dark. Blacker than black.

And her eyes. As she came closer towards the river bed, even at this distance, he could see them clearly, constrasting with the blackness of her face. They were two pretty gray blue spheres, glowing and the color of celestite.

He had one blue eye as well, but he liked the shade of hers more. They held a mysterious quality to them that he felt his didn't.

Oh, but it was obvious to him that she was wearing contacts and this wasn't her real eye color. People's eyes didn't glow like that. People didn't dress like that normally either, so she must be wearing a costume. But what would she be doing way out here in the mountain wilderness wearing what looked like a wraith costume? Was it some sort of prank?

Everything made sense now – those photos Undyne saw must have been of this girl. People were beginning to believe that she was a real monster. Sans was all for playing good harmless pranks, but this one was dangerous. Someone might see her like that and a very gun happy person might mistake her for something otherworldly and shoot her, he thought.

He had planned on leaving when she did, but he felt the need to warn her.

Sans was about to step out from the bushes but froze when she suddenly slowly raised her arms into the air and her chest began to glow with a white light.

She began singing in a strange tongue unfamiliar to him,

 amita ibiria amore

amita sibidia samora

mia sari mi ia…

Her voice was deeper than he would have expected and melancholy, almost mournful in tone. It pulled at his heart in a strange way he couldn't quite describe. Calming, yet sorrowful all the same. But he didn't have long to dwell on her song itself before he had something entirely different to focus on.

The flowing water in the river abruptly stirred, unnatural ripples beginning to form on the surface. From one side of the riverbank to the other, large stones from the river's bottom rose up to create a sturdy pathway, stable enough for one to walk across without fear of it crumbling and whoever was on top falling in.

The girl lifted her robe slightly and placed one foot, covered in what looked like a sandal ethnic in design onto the makeshift bridge. Satisfied that it was secure, she stepped onto the rocks and began slowly making her way across. As she did, the stones that had meshed together became undone and sunk back down to the watery depths behind her as she again sang in that undecipherable language,

amita ibiria amore

sia a sibiria samora

mia sari…

When she reached the other side of the riverbank safely, whatever was left of the pathway had crumbled away by the time her singing ceased. Sans was stunned and in disbelief – despite his earlier skepticism, he couldn't deny what he had seen was magic. Magic fueled by the power of this strange girl's voice.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, this girl was a wraith.

"muffet would probably kill a man in cold blood to be in my place right now."

But then a realization hit him that made his heart drop down to his stomach:

This girl was a wraith.

A shadow monster.

A creature of legend.

And in those legends, the wraiths murdered people to snatch their bodies.

If she saw him, would she try to end his life? At this thought, his heart began pounding with fear when moments before it had been from wonder.

He needed to get away without being noticed, but how?

Sans didn't get to think of an effective strategy before he was spotted. The wraith was standing no less than three feet away from where he was crouched, staring down at him with slightly widened half lidded eyes that Sans couldn't decide whether it made her appear adorably sleepy or incredibly seductive.

Either way, she was standing over him and he had very little time to think of a way to escape her shadowy clutches before she pounced him.

He quickly rose to his feet, but before he could move another inch the wraith let out a tiny squeak and scrambled backwards with widened eyes and a heaving chest. That was a curious response, he thought.

Common sense told him that now would be an opportune moment to run, but curiosity told him that he should test this. Curse the scientist that was still within him.

Instead of fleeing, he took a step towards her and guaged her reaction. The monster girl let out another distressed cry and scurried away from him until her heels were one inch from her being in the river – one more step, even a little one, and she would fall in.

Oh the irony.

She was afraid of him.

Well that simply wouldn't do.

For reasons he couldn't quite begin to ponder, the idea of a girl, even a monster girl, being afraid of him didn't sit well with Sans.

He smiled at her in a manner that he hoped appeared friendly and inviting.

"hey," She flinched at the sound of his voice, but he continued. "it's alright. no need to feel scared. 'm not gonna hurt ya, see?"

He held out his hand towards her, but it didn't appear she had listened to or understood a word he was saying because she let out a small scream and stumbled backwards, nearly falling headfirst into the river.

And she would have, if he hadn't rushed forward to catch her.

Everything around them stilled. It seemed as though even the birds in the trees and the water below them had hushed to gawk at the sheer novelty of the situation they were in. She was bent backwards, feet barely on the ground and he was holding her with one hand around her shoulders and the other wound around her lower back. And they were looking each other directly in the eye.

She was so tiny compared to him.

It was just like a scene from one of Alphys's cheesy shoujo mangas, he would acknowledge later, but while in the moment, he was rendered speechless from the suddenness of the occurrence. Her skin was cold, he noticed, the closest comparison he could think of being as if she had been sitting in front of a powerful air conditioner for several hours.

Both remained motionless for an undisclosed amount of time until the wraith started trembling in his arms, wiggling to get out of his grip.

"stop it. if i let you go now you'll tumble right in. i don't think you went to the trouble to make a bridge before just to get wet, did you?"

But she only squirmed harder, and he almost dropped her a few times during this short duration. When she showed no sign of complying to his reasonable request for her sake, he yanked her closer to him and tried to step away from the river with her.

The river was different up here compared to in town; the water moved faster and if she fell in and didn't know how to swim, she could easily drown. That is, if she needed to breathe in order to live. But Sans wasn't about to take any chances and just assumed that she needed to.

Their chests were now pressed up against each other. The thrum of her chest didn't match his – it didn't sound anything like a human's heart beat should, and though he was entirely unfamiliar with this creature's biology, he could tell that it was thrumming faster than it normally would.

Thump… thump… thump…

But it was still far too slow for any healthy human's heartbeat to sound. If he didn't believe that she was something paranormal before, he would have now.

Her fingers dug painfully into his shoulders, small hands shoving at his chest and clawing at his wrists to get him to release her, and several shaky sounds escaped from her throat all the while, noises that he assumed must have been unsuccessful attempts at using her voice-based magic. Only when they were both at a safe distance from the water did he release her.

She instantly sprang away from him, turning her back to Sans and fleeing into the thick expanse of trees, blending into the shadows of the forest around her perfectly and rendering her invisible.

Sans lingered around the area just long enough to regain his breath, but he had seen enough for one day – it was time to go home.

By the time he reached his house, Papyrus had finished making dinner but Gaster still wasn't home yet, which was fine for Sans, but his brother despaired over another portion of his cooking going to waste if their father didn't return that night. Sometimes, as Sans occasionally stayed at Grillby's home until things blowed over, so did Gaster, but with Asgore at the Dreemur residence.

A few hours later, it was made clear that tonight was going to be one of those nights, so in order to spare Papyrus's feelings over his culinary creation going unconsumed, Sans ate Gaster's share. Which would only add a few more pounds to his already plump figure, he lamented.

He didn't tell Papyrus about his encounter on the mountain before heading upstairs to his room. Would his brother even believe him? He could barely believe it himself, and it had happened to him! And he couldn't stop thinking about it either. Usually, most people did one of two things when encountering the unknown; tell everyone they knew and didn't know about it, or they kept it to themselves for the rest of their lives. He wasn't sure if he could do either.

After a while of trying to distract his mind by watching television, playing a game, or reading, he finally gave up. He couldn't keep his thoughts from drifting to the wraith he had seen, spoken to, and even touched.

He sat at his desk and pulled out a sketchbook; it had once been filled with formulas and sketches for inventions when he was Gaster's apprentice, but he had since torn those out and filled the empty book with random drawings and doodles. He opened the book and stopping at a blank page, then began sketching the best he could from his memory.

Sans didn't know how long he had spent there, but it was pitch black outside by the time he finished. It wasn't perfect by any means, but it was something that he could remember this day by. He had a feeling though that he would never forget what happened today, even if he tried from this point onward to forget.

And he was right; he never did forget this day.

Because today was the beginning of an entirely new world being opened for Sans and his brother.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

Sans awoke to what sounded like Gaster clambering around downstairs below his room. So he had come home at some point. He rolled over to face his clock and saw that it was eleven thirty. Not surprising, since he had stayed up late last night. Dear old dad wouldn't be happy with him that he slept the morning away once again, but in his defense, as he said yesterday, Grillby would still be serving from his breakfast menu right now.

He took a shower then cautiously made his way to the kitchen. To his surprise, Gaster and Papyrus were actually eating at the table. Both of them looked up from their meals to stare at him, and he felt out of place for not the first time in this household since the accident.

Sans briefly wondered if his brother and Gaster would get along just fine if he weren't around.

But then again, Gaster might shift his scientific prodigy-making plan onto his brother or Alphys if he didn't keep watch over him. It seemed he would have to continue being a nuisance for their safety and wellbeing.

He pulled up a chair and sat down without a word.

"You're late. As per usual."

"if i'm late then so are you. you're eating breakfast too."

Gaster didn't appreciate that at all, glowering at him from across the table. Papyrus quickly looked for a topic to lighten the mood.

"D-DID I MENTION THAT UNDYNE HAS BEEN WORKING HARD FOR A PROMOTION LATELY?!" He all but squawked.

"Is that so…?" Their father quirked an eyebrow at his youngest son's squirrely behavior then took a nonchalant sip of his coffee. "Ah, speaking of recent news, have either of you heard about what's been happening on Mount Ebott lately?"

"…" Neither said a word.

Gaster continued anyway regardless. "The people of this town are saying that they're catching glimpses of monsters in the mountain's wilderness. Can you imagine such a thing? What utter nonsense.

"yup. utter nonsense." Sans nearly choked on his mouthful of pancake.

"Some are even planning on hiking up the mountain to seek them out. I've never heard such insanity in all my life. Now listen, the both of you: I don't want either of you going up that mountain, mythical beasts or not. I can't have the people of Ebott thinking you're caught up in the frenzy of hunting for them too. And even if they did exist, which they most certainly do not, I wouldn't want you interacting with such creatures."

"uh-huh. i gotcha."

"If these people have time to be chasing shadows, then they have plenty to spare on actually putting effort into revitalizing the town instead of always complaining about what we don't have."

"yup, what a complete waste of valuable time…"

"You have little room to speak, Sans. You lollygag about just as much as the rest of the townspeople these days."

"tell that to the stack of cash i earned this week working my butt off around town." He rebutted, stabbing his fork into the sausage on his plate.

"Yes, you really raked it in this week, you think. If you were living on your own, that amount wouldn't keep you afloat in the slightest."

"well, from the sound of your tone, it sounds like you really want me to leave and never come back. maybe i should."

Sans had tried moving out directly after he had gotten expelled, but he wouldn't leave without his brother and Papyrus remained firm on staying. Papyrus had created a stalemate; he couldn't leave until things either got better between him and Gaster, or Sans decided to go without his brother. Sans didn't see either happening anytime soon.

"Was that supposed to be a threat? If so, it was entirely ineffective."

"PLEASE, DON'T FIGHT YOU TWO. CAN'T WE HAVE A NICE BREAKFAST TOGETHER LIKE WE USED TO?"

"No, Papyrus, I don't think that's possible anymore. Your brother, despite being the older of the two of you, can't seem to be a mature adult for longer than two minutes and keep his temper in check."

Sans wanted so badly to retaliate, but he held his tongue once again. He stood up from his seat, the chair scraping against the hardwood floor as he did so. His meal was left unfinished, he mentally noted, but he had lost his appetite anyway.

Just as yesterday, he made his way towards the front door.

"And just where do you think you're going? I haven't finished speaking!"

He remembered what Toriel had told him to say.

"i'm sorry, but i don't feel ready to talk yet."

He reached for the doorknob and Gaster rose up from his own seat. He swiftly paced over to Sans, and in his haste in preventing him from leaving, roughly grabbed his arm.

Sans screamed.

His yowl of pure pain snapped Gaster out of his anger, but it was too late – the damage had been done. His son spun around to look at him, large mismatched eyes moist and filled with confusion and betrayal, then mistrust and anger.

"I-I'm so sorry! I… I didn't mean to, Sans! You have to believe me, I would never-" But he had. "…Let me see it."

Sans instinctively wrenched himself away from him, cradling his arm.

"SANS, PLEASE DON'T GO! FATHER SHOULDN'T HAVE GRABBED YOU SO SUDDENLY, BUT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! HE DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU!"

Accident.

Accident. Accident. Accident.

Everything was always an accident when he and Gaster were involved. Their entire relationship now had been reduced to one long continuous stream of accidents.

And he just couldn't take it anymore.

Sans turned his back on him and ran out the door as fast as his ligs would carry him, hearing Gaster and Papyrus yell for him behind, but he didn't dare stop or even slow down. He wasn't even sure where he was going, anywhere that wasn't back there.

He found himself going exactly where his father had told him not to go just minutes earlier: Mount Ebott. He wondered if his body was subconsciously spiting Gaster now. He continued running until his legs nearly gave out, stopping at another clearing – a picturesque woodland area.

He sat himself down on a conveniently placed large boulder nearby to catch his breath, wanting to bawl his heart out from the pain enflared in his arm.

Gaster had grabbed him.

He had never done that before. But he just had to grab his burnt arms, didn't he? He was one of the few people that held knowledge of his burns, and he had just unconsciously used his injury against him.

This was it. Nothing between him and Gaster was ever going to get any better.

He heard rustling in the area nearby, just like yesterday evening. Curiosity once again taking presedence over pain, he crept closer towards the sounds to see what he would find making them. Over by a thicket of berry bushes, he found the noisemaker.

It was her again.

She looked exactly the same as yesterday, the only difference being the leather bag she wore over her shoulder. She seemed to be holding a glass container of some sort, picking berries from the bushes and dropping them in, letting out a soft happy-sounding hum as she did so.

Would she run away again if she saw him?

Before he could ponder too much on this, his mouth started running ahead of him.

"hey, it's, uh, me again." He called out to her.

She stiffened, turning her head around slowly to peer at him. He smiled awkwardly and raised one hand up, gradually, since the last time he moved too quickly she didn't respond well. The wraith stared at him for an extended period of time, wordless, before turning her attention back to the berry bush.

Her posture wasn't anywhere near as relaxed as it was before he revealed himself and she had stopped humming.

"i'm sorry about suddenly, you know… grabbing you yesterday. i just didn't want you to fall in the river."

"…"

"so, do you come here often…?" He was grasping at straws.

"…"

"do you have a name? i can just call you 'ghoulie' if you won't tell me."

"…"

"do you… understand a word i'm saying? at all?"

"…"

To his surprise, she actually turned around to face him, studying him intently before giving a small nod.

"…you do understand? what I've been saying? everything?"

Another nod.

"then why aren't you talking to me? did i offend you or something?"

"…"

"ugh, fine. be that way." He groaned, spinning on his heel and then sitting down on the ground right there, crossing his arms with a huff and his back turned to her.

A few more moments of silence passed, when suddenly he heard a tiny voice,

"...…Scary."

"…huh?"

"…Scary."

"sorry, i didn't catch that?"

"Scary. You're… scary."

She spoke in the same manner as someone that had gone an extended amount of time without using their voice; hesitant, soft and unsure of their words. Putting that thought to the side, he focused more on her words themselves.

"scary? me?" He pointed to himself, dumbfounded.

Yet another nod.

Sans stared at her, probably slackjawed as he thought,

"i must be pretty dang ugly if a monster thinks i'm scary…"

So, he decided to question her further,

"what is it about me that makes me seem scary to you?"

"…I …don't know you."

Well, if that really was the only reason why she was afraid of him, they could easily fix that, he thought.

He turned around and stood up, stepping over to her until he was towering over the girl.

She was petrified to the spot.

"you're right, you don't know me. but you will soon. and do you know why?"

He was trying to be funny, leaning downwards until their noses were nearly touching, and whispered,

"because we're going to be best friends you and i."

Sans shouldn't have been surprised when she let out a startled shriek, but he was, and he was startled even further when something collided painfully against his cheek with a loud smack – her hair?

A section of her tendril-like hair was raised unnaturally in the air, much like an octopus's tentacle ready to strike again. But the expression on her face said that she hadn't meant to do that at all, seeming almost sympathetic but still overrode with fear.

Before he could even begin to apologize for making things worse, he was suddenly violently shoved onto the ground landing on his behind. A third figure had intercepted his path to the girl – it was another wraith.

This one was redheaded and had eyes the color of blood. She was glaring down at him almost murderously, the green robe she was wearing fluttering around her as the wind shifted ominously around her. She bent downwards, her face hovering over his.

"Stay. Away. From. My. SISTER!"

Her face suddenly changed shape, looking far less like a woman in cosplay and more like the very terrifying creatures of legend they had been described as. The smaller and timid wraith clung to the other wraith now identified as her sister and quivered. The green clothed one was just about to pounce and most certainly put an end to his life when something stopped her,

"SANS! WHERE ARE YOU?! SAAAAAAANS?!"

Papyrus was looking for him somewhere in the distance. Sans turned towards the direction he heard his voice, but when he turned back to the wraiths, they were both backing away from him and the area entirely, clinging to each other as if they were one another's lifeline. The blue eyed shadow had her head tucked into the other's shoulder while the redheaded one scowled at him.

 camita sora mia

ii sama dite doche

miketa amia

ideta asomarita

ii tento mia dora

ii sama vida doche

ii seta madora

iria ia dileto

 This other wraith's voice was higher and stronger in tone and volume. The trees around the two, spaced out considerably suddenly began to huddle together, creating a massive shadow with their foliage that stretched several yards wide. The two then stepped backwards into the created shade and faded from view, the last thing Sans saw being her red eyes piercing through the darkness before they too faded out.

"SANS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE ON THE GROUND? ARE YOU ALRIGHT? YOU'RE NOT HURT, ARE YOU?!"

Papyrus rushed to his side moments later, apparently not having seen anything to do with the shadow monsters. He had shown up just in time, too.

Sans wanted to answer that he was alright, but he somehow found himself laughing instead.

"SANS, WHAT'S GOING ON? WHY- WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING? YOU'RE BEGINNING TO SCARE ME…"

Sans was scared too. Scared and excited all at once. He had never felt anything like it. He then flopped on his back in his hysterics, tears nearly streaming down his face as he laughed, clutching his stomach.

Later, when he thought about why he might have laughed so hard, instead of believing it to have been a delayed reaction to all the tension he had felt in that perilous moment and his body had released it by laughing it off, he concluded it was because, even though that other wraith had been ready to kill him where he stood…

He still wanted to meet that softspoken monster girl again.

[esckeyes]

My Quetzal Story

If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram, you probably saw a lot of pictures of this bird called the “quetzal” recently. I am having a hard time describing why it was such a big deal for me. So I will try a longer post.

I read a history of Hernan Cortes’ conquest of Mexico once. I felt like the book itself was too kind to Cortes. But the one thing I vividly remember (and perhaps even problematic books can have glimpses of beauty) was a description of the native peoples trying to save quetzal feathers instead of gold and jewels on “La Noche Triste” (needs new name?).

I had never heard of this bird called the quetzal (or the Resplendent Quetzal, more properly). I googled quetzal feathers and found some lovely looking—but probably fake—headdresses said to belong to Aztec nobility. I also found out that the quetzal is mostly extinct in Mexico, which made me sad. The feathers were such a beautiful color and they were a great symbol of the Mexica people. 

Cut to my sister (who travels a lot because she does a job that pays her actual money and gives her vacation time. Weird!), planning a trip to Costa Rica. I was super bummed because I was the one who took Spanish in school. She took French. I knew very little about Costa Rica from my textbooks (my Spanish IV textbook had cultural pages with history and information about various Spanish speaking countries. They usually were about how some asshole treated the people like shit). Costa Rica was a nice change because it didn’t have a lot of war or upheaval--there was a lot about colorful animals and their focus on saving them.  Mostly I remember that they abolished the army and I thought that was cool.  I wanted to go.

I don’t remember exactly when, during my sister’s time researching her trip that I learned there are still a few quetzals alive in the wild of Costa Rica. That is all fuzzy. But the point is: she was going to the country with these Mexica quetzals I wanted to see AND the eco-friendly Spanish-speaking nation without me? I was a big ball of pout.

So for Christmas, my dad said he would pay for me to accompany my sister. (My parents don’t like that she travels alone anyhow, I don’t think.)

I kept showing people videos on YouTube and gifs on Twitter. (Not everyone liked that I did this) I also learned some random quetzal facts from the internet. But I was worried I wouldn’t actually get to see one because they are nearly extinct and, well, you have to be lucky. I am not a bird-watcher or an experienced naturalist. I just like stories and the myths surrounding the quetzal. Symbols greatly intrigue me.

— The quetzal was considered sacred to many indigenous peoples. It is associated with the Mesoamerican god Quetzalcoatl. Notice the similarity in the names. (You have probably heard of Quetzalcoatl as the god the Aztecs were said to have thought Cortes was. I was taught this in Spanish class. But it is an exaggeration at best and the purpose of this story seems to be “these natives are dumb” even though their society was so advanced and awestruck the Spanish.)

— Quetzal feathers were worth a great deal (obviously more than gold to the Aztecs). It is still the name of the currency of Guatemala, though they are sadly paper now not actual feathers. And this got me thinking about the arbitrary nature of “wealth” and why shiny rocks are worth more than shells, feathers, or other parts of nature. It seems like putting a higher value on life itself.

— The quetzal also is supposed to represent liberty. I read online that one would “kill itself” in captivity (more on this below) and hearing its song before battle meant victory over the Spanish. THIS IS ALL COOL STUFF THAT COULD BE USED AS A METAPHOR IN A BOOK AND WHY HAVEN’T I READ THIS BOOK.

Anyway, back to my trip to Costa Rica. We looked online for the best places to see a Resplendent !uetzal, because, again it is hard and there are only a few places they live now.

My sister already planned a visit to the Monteverde Cloud Forest Reserve so that was a possibility. But our guide there said, when I asked him about it, that thousands of people go into that forest but that maybe only 10% get to see a quetzal.

The cloud forest itself is very cool. I learned about rainforests in school but not cloud forests. It’s wet and green everywhere. I found it a bit overwhelming. Our guide would say, look at that [insert species] over there” and I would be like, “I see trees.” There was just so much. We actually did pass by a female quetzal at one point (the female is not as brightly colored as the male) but I saw movement and that was about it.

If I am honest, I was a bit disappointed. But I kept telling myself that I was lucky to see one at all.

However, the next day we went to the Curi-Cancha reserve. (Take a moment to appreciate how great it is that Costa Rica has so many nature reserves.) I told our guide there that I would like to get a picture of a quetzal if possible but I had seen one the day before.

He knew a lot about birds. I asked him if there were any that he’d love to see and he mentioned an endangered bird he needed to go to South America to see. (I had meant in the park itself so I was thrown that he was talking about taking a trip to see a bird. But I guess that is what I was doing, wasn’t it?)

So when he heard through the grapevine of guides (if you go to Costa Rica and you should, keep an eye out for how all the tour guides alert each other if they saw anything cool down the way—it’s like an animal whisper network) that a male quetzal had been spotted in an avocado tree, he made me and the other family on the tour RUN to the tree. I appreciated this but felt bad for the other family because maybe they didn’t care.

The guide took SO MANY pictures for me. I wanted to cry.

Here is Mr. Quetzal sittin’ and showing off his long tail feathers.

This photo (and others) were taken for me by my guide through a scope. Then he made us RUN to another side of the tree because he wanted us to see that the quetzal feathers look different colors in different light. Most describe them as green or blue but—FUN FACT—they are actually mostly brown but iridescent for better camouflage. (The red spot is said to be blood from the Conquistador Pedro de Alvarado. More fun mythology!)

Look how fuzzy his silly head is. I love him so much.

Our guide also talked about the myths around the quetzal. I may have stepped on his toes there some. (Sorry!) But he cleared up the whole “They kill themselves” thing. He said they are easily stressed—aren’t we all; I feel ya, bird bro—and being caged can cause them the have heart attacks.

He also said there are fewer of them every year, so if you want to see one, go soon. This is because the female quetzal can only lay two eggs during a small window of nesting period, and said eggs are vulnerable to predators. Also the nesting period, formerly March to June, is getting thrown out of whack by global warming making it warmer earlier. This is probably why I was able to see one in February since the nesting period is when they usually come out and about.

But, possible good news, he said zoologists have successfully hatched one in captivity in Mexico recently. The only articles I can find on this are in Spanish and it sucky because I want to know everything. Can someone please let me know?

Especially considering one of the myths I read was that the quetzal would not sing in Mexico until the Invaders were defeated. Like, is it revolution time now? Should I get a weapon? And what does it mean that scientists engineered this revolution? I have questions about how this fits into the mythology, damnit!

I have a lot of thoughts.

[saltine-kakyoin]

🎶 and jotaro and also kakyoin AND another character..whoever u want ;)

oho… you’ve sent me another message? you know what comes next bro, u brought this upon yourself….this is us now man

anyhow, AH. thos boys…god this one is gonna be so difficult because I have So Many Songs that are tied to them. as for the other character, i think i will do my boy sergio because i really need to share my brainstorming songs for him before i explode! :0 thank you again for sending these in, bro!! have a good night, ily! c:

this will be long bc i always ramble..i will be tagging this as long post for mobile gang!

Jotaro:

thom- i hate to start this off with a jotakak-themed song because i know some people Despise jk. i’m sorry for y’all who do, but ahh this song has been stuck in my head for days now! :’( In terms of the SDA, i always think of this song as like…jotaro’s bittersweet journey w his feelings for kak. it’s something about the like, ghostly windchimes in the beginning, the phone buzzing in the bg, and the “please don’t run away”s man, ahhh. I listen to this song a lot when brainstorming him coming to accept that friendship is as far as he and kak go. However,“ The pitter patter gave a rather rinse and lather feeling/ As opposed to shitty attitudes that made me bitter after laughter/ And I dearly regretted it” really makes me think of pt. 4 jotaro in any context. We only see the end result of his development from SDC, but like hhh… do you think he regrets being so gruff? I think of that 1 fanart where he’s looking at the group picture + hoping they knew he wasn’t annoyed by them (or something along those lines, i forget the exact line…ahh)

something’s missing- So, ofc not all parts of this song apply.. and truthfully, I listen to this song while thinking of the immediate period after the crusade in the SDA and how the crusaders are all left with this hole in them (..@kakyoin literally.. i’m sorry i had to. also, abdul is the hole). Out of all of them, though, I always think of Jotaro the most w this song- “My dad asks, ‘Were you okay out where you were stranded?’ How do I tell him that I wasn’t just okay… I was so much better?” LIKE DAMN THAT IS ONE (1) KUJO JOTARO… :( i think he comes back from the crusade and just feels.. severely misplaced. Going back to Japan and the girls following him to school every morning feels so alien to him.

tempest rhapsody- this song is just… *chef kiss* It makes me think of like. star platinum’s first manifestation, and of the emotions one would feel during a 50-day crusade to a place you’ve never been before, where you run the risk of death at least once a week…how would it feel to know if you got seriously injured in a fight, there would be a very real possibility that your *cough* dearly beloved *cough* mother could die? this song is my answer to that question

only in sleep- another choir song! i cannot help myself. This one is more for canon Jotaro. I’ve read a few fics about the universe reset where he’s reunited with the other crusaders one last time before everything becomes nil, and…..augh. “The years had not sharpened their smooth round faces, I met their eyes and found them mild — Do they, too, dream of me, I wonder, And for them am I too a child?“ is imo such a jotaro 4 am deliberation

softly- THIS. this was the Original jotakak song, no offense thom. i used to listen to this song on REPEAT while reading nessun dorma, ahhh. so much of the sda jotakak dynamic is shaped from that fic and this song, hghshg. Anyhow, now that I’ve worked on the development of their relationship in the sda, this song is most definitely a song for the jotaro who unknowingly pines in 3rd year and then comes to realize that ah…these are Emotions during uni. during their third year, jotaro and kakyoin do a ton of self-exploration, and spend more than one night floating in the pitch black void of the ocean talking about what they’re going to do after graduation with only the stars to accompany them. they lose this when jotaro goes to florida for uni + kakyoin paris, but they make up for it by calling each other all the time, so “Touch you softly I call you up late at night” made this song an instant hit in my book ghshghw. I adore this song, through and through. ;u;

post-published honorable mention bc i rediscovered him while i was workin on polnareff’s playlist!! DOLLY ZOOM is another really good song for pining jotaro. in the sda, he feels really Horrible about having a crush on kakyoin for a long time because he and his family (that is phrased weird, i am sorry) are the entire reason kakyoin got a hole punched right through his abdomen and spine. they’re the entire reason kakyoin spent months learning how to walk and use his legs again. he doesn’t do anything except bury his feelings because, to him, it’d be Really selfish to do otherwise. i listened to dolly zoom nonstop when i started writing Jotaro’s Decade-Long Yearn because it captures the guilt really well, ahh.

Kakyoin (it is 1:24 am as i’m starting this… let’s see how long i agonize over this part lmao)

ultraviolence- ahh, ze Mindworm Song. I really despise diokak and the fact that he had to spend like…3-4 months with the mindworm just chilling in his brain, but I can’t ignore the fact that he latched onto dio’s friendship and was initially elated to have that whole thing happen. It haunts Kakyoin in canon, and it Most Definitely haunts him in the SDA, and i think he and jotaro have a lot of conversations about how and why and what that whole experience was like. I always end up coming back to this song when brainstorming this year in the au. The beginning just sounds so lonely, and the background choir/ voices really give me the heebie jeebies. Then, there’s the build-up to the beat drop, which really make me think of like. what being mindwormed could feel like? And how it must feel to be so lost in that sauce that you become a passenger in your own mind, lost to the whim of one super manipulative vampire, augh. “You give me love, you know you give me love with your ultraviolet rays” ties into a few of FKA Twigs’ other songs where she sings about not being enough and really obsessively deriving love from someone whose attention is ultimately really harmful and unhealthy, and I think about that and Kakyoin a lot. :(

sound and color- so truthfully, this is my go-to song for any character that dies/almost dies and comes back, or goes through a Huge Life Change. kakyoin fits both of these bills to a T! this song makes me think of getting used to being around such a rowdy but tight-knit group of people who genuinely care about you All Day Long after spending your entire life in isolation. I always think of like, a happiness montage when the second half of this song comes around, and the montage i daydream about for kak during that section is *chef kiss* Sound + Color is like one of the best songs ever, and it’d be a crime to not have a kak setting for it. 

first love/late spring- fellas, here’s the kakyoin equivalent to jotaro’s softly. this song was IT, back when the sergio-divergent au and the “All the Crusaders Live” au were two separate things. back then, kakyoin and jotaro’s realization that oh, fuck, they really meant the entire world to each other happened much earlier in the plot. Looking back on that now makes me squint, but I do think that this song is still really fitting for kakyoin exploring those feelings- friendship is one thing, but romance is something entirely different and a lot more intimate. i think it’s a tug-of-war for him, between wanting to jump in to those feelings and wanting to run far far away from them because he doesn’t want to be wrong and ruin their friendship. good times in the kak hole

last words of a shooting star- I really love the bastard fucker side of kakyoin that is explored and celebrated in our fanon, but I can never shake the fact that some of his last thoughts were of his parents (and i think he was sorry for making them worry? which… baby…) and that his polite, “outwardly anxious” presentation was this big facade for like.. the Deep and Soul-Wrenching loneliness he felt because he was a stand user? The first stanza and “They’ll never know how I’d stared at the dark in that room/ With no thoughts” make me think of kakyoin deeply- if his family had never gone to egypt and he’d never met dio or jotaro, what would have happened to him? Who would he be? i’ve always been super attached to that part of kak bc fundamentally… I Relate. but also i am just fond of it because it makes me sob- he deserved so much better than to get murdered by the same man who manipulated his entire identity right at the climax of his character arc….some crimes can never be forgiven, hirohiko….

vertigo- i don’t listen to this song for kak often, but it is a Quintessential Kakyoin song. according to khalid’s twitter, vertigo is a song about “Overcoming overthinking. After every dark days, there’s a brighter outcome. Being at a super low place in your life and realizing that, there’s other people going through that same path you’re walking down. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel. It’s also a story about fear of abandonment.” which….Big Kakyoin Energies. The “Are we alive?Or are we dreaming?” part also ties back into the Kakyoin Parties in a Coma for a Month arc- your mind has a wild wild time when you’re in a medically induced coma, theoretically because it’s trying to fill in the blanks for all of the stuff you’re sensing? And coming out of a medically induced coma is a bizarre experience, where it’s hard to tell if you’re still in the coma and just imagining things or if you’re actually awake. Kakyoin has a mad time in the month immediately after SDC, one that i’m sure he doesn’t enjoy too much after the death 13 fight.

honorable mention goes to i am not yours- this has been a kak song to me for a long time as well. the context of the song is way different from my interpretation for this setting, but AH. I just think kakyoin really struggles to differentiate and understand romantic feelings. This song really reminds me of that struggle, and I think also touches nicely on like. the identity issue of it all too.. “yet i am i, who long to be” yanno? ; J ; it’s hard for me to explain

another honorable mention, my statue sinking. in the sda, after the events in egpyt, kakyoin is thrown into a coma for like an entire month while his body gets operated back together, and then he spends months in physical therapy learning how to walk w a prosthetic spine (kudos to cyborg speedwagon being a reverse engineering madman :D). i like to imagine that there’s also some degree of therapy going on this whole time, also. you don’t just get donuted + thrown into a coma for a month without some counseling to get you back on your feet..i think the lasting effects of dio’s influence are addressed here, but only briefly because it’s not something kakyoin is eager to explore. however, I think that this song captures the like... distress? i guess? of knowing that your life has been irreparably thrown off course because of dio. like yes, you met some really wonderful people that helped you learn how deeply healing friendship could be! but also.. you lost months of your life to mind control, and then another month to a coma, and then additional months to training your body to function again....there’s some psychological stress there. While I think that Jotaro and Polnareff are affected the most by the crusade, I think they all emerge from it with some degree of ptsd. Being targeted by complete strangers at all times of day cannot be good for your mental health, you know? Anyhow, I think My Statue Sinking captures that aftermath feeling really well. Everyone survives and recovers from the crusade, but there’s a part in all of them that is lost to Egypt. 

on to sergio!! (it is now 2:04 am lmaooooooo) sergio will be easy because I only ever listen to the same handful of songs when I’m writing him hdhgh

i will come to you- this is THE sergio song. i think of this song every time i write about him, whether it’s the “believe in me…” “also believe in me” lyric exchange that i imagine he has with both tomoko and holly; the “and i will pray to my father…my father…and he will abide” part being about him reaching out to joseph with his final breaths and spilling all of the beans about dio and begging him to finish things so that Tomoko and Josuke, the Kujos, and he and Suzi can be safe; the “foreeever……foreee-eever.. forever..” part being where he dies and his soul passes into the next realm.. “even the spirit of truth [golden prophet] whom the world [..yeah..] cannot receive, because it seeth him not [bc suad defects and buries sergio instead of bringing his dead body to dio]. Neither knoweth him, but you know him…for he dwelleth in you and he shall be in you [literally the entire joestar/kujo/higashikata family being so near and dear to him + his spirit being with them even after death]” and then, like.. george i, jonathan, and george ii coming to retrieve his soul during the “heeeee shallll beee in youuu” part… “i will not leave you comfortless. i Will Not leave.. You Comfortless… iiii wiiiill come…. to you.. to You” part being about his soul mingling within star platinum and crazy diamond because he has a Need, even in death, to protect them. UGH (also his essence being especially prevalent in crazy diamond, which is partially why its power is to repair things!! bc hamon! ; O ;) literally I have an Entire music video with sergio’s death set to this music. i’ve listened to it way too many times.

when david heard- so to be frank this is actually more of a joseph song, but it’s only a joseph song when sergio exists + gets murdered. :o i cried the first time i listened to this, and then months later i listened to it while thinking of sergio + like. sobbed fr fr. Joseph is asleep when Sergio calls him, so he gets sergio’s final message as a voicemail on his answering machine hours after the fact. the message itself is chilling because Joseph had no clue his son had gone on this huge mission by himself to kill Dio, and now he’s dead! however, it’s made even worse because Joseph wasn’t there to pick the call up and comfort his son in his dying breaths or do Anything. it’s just like Caesar, which is. god awful. it’s such a horrible realization because sergio, whom joseph named after what caesar wanted to name his own son, has been condemned to the same fate as his namesake. Thus this song- i’ve yet to come across a song that captures the feeling of hearing that kind of news so well. (also when i tag things as my sOOOOON or *cries my son in 8-part harmony a la whitacre*, this is the song i’m referencing :D)

zombies / terrified- ahhh, these songs capture the HORROR sergio feels upon sensing dio’s presence in Japan really well. (also “I’m going to eat you alive/please don’t find me rude, but i don’t eat fast food/ so don’t run too fast” is SUCH a dio mood…) Sergio maintains his composure about the Dio Dilemma for a good year before he flies off the handle, and his entire proto-crusade against the vampire is just. Laced with paranoia, even if he is learning a ton of useful skills. These two songs capture that feeling of something constantly watching/creeping up on you so well, and ever since i discovered them, I’ve listened to them for Sergio inspo.

the prophet- This is the only song I’ve done so far that the characters would actually listen to lmao. Sergio is a Huge fan of The Temptations, and his stand is actually named after this song! (+ the esoteric title for the hermit, which was really amazing luck on my end ; J ;) it also had a huge hand in figuring out what his stand power would be, the lyric that decided it was “God doesn’t listen to the words you pray; he hears what your heart has got to say.” However, the entire last stanza of the song ties really well into his character arc fhshgh. Also, this song just feels like it could Be the child of Bloody Stream, if that makes any sense. it’s so groovy and funky, but the lyrics are like big ominous lmao. I was super ecstatic to find this song- if sergio were to ever get an animation, this song would be the OP, yanno?

armageddon- This is another “this song would be on their personal playlist” song. Sergio’s got a lot of love for all styles of music in his heart, but jazz is his home base and always what he comes back to. I like to imagine that Lisa Lisa’s husband introduces Sergio to Wayne Shorter’s music at the age of like 8 or 9, and Sergio’s just. obsessed with the man’s music for the rest of his life. I really love Shorter’s explanation for the meaning of this song and its album as a whole: “What I’m trying to express here is a sense of judgment approaching - judgment for everything alive from the smallest ant to man. I know that the accepted meaning of ‘Armageddon’ is the last battle between good and evil - whatever it is. But my definition of the judgment to come is a period of total enlightenment in which we will discover what we are and why we’re here.” Like… wig.. I feel like that’s such big sergio energy. Armageddon itself also feels like a really nice ED- it’s lively, but in a good episode-ending kind of way. Do i dream of animating Sergio’s adventure one day? Mayhaps.

honorable mention goes to just my imagination/ my girl- We’ve covered that Sergio adores The Temptations, so it’s no secret that he would listen to these songs ceaselessly. however, i really like the broadway harmonies + instrumentals that they did for Ain’t Too Proud, so that’s what’s goin in here. these songs are THE tomoko/sergio songs…He loves Tomoko and the way she quips + teases + gets up to nonsense with him So Much. There’s a huge part of him that has No Idea what Tomoko sees in a music geek like him, but ughh he is so grateful that she likes him because she is a Goddess. he’s blessed yo..

[yahooyippee-archived]

since tumblr is being evil here's a big dump of info that i'll put on the pages later

🌠 mario is autistic

🌠 mario tends to hide his real age; when asked he'll say anywhere from 20-30

🌠 he speaks italian, english, and some spanish + minimal LIS/Italian sign language + fair amount of ASL

🌠 ...although, my mario is only semi-verbal; he prefers not to speak, in part because having to do a lot of talking is exhausting and on the other part because he's deeply embarrassed of his own lack of proficiency with english; this is actually a really big issue for him that makes him anxious, about the only thing that does - but he'd rather take a fireball to the face than let that slip

🌠 i'm kind of wishy-washy with how much of the old backstory i wrote for mario i want to keep but the gist of that was:

mario and his brother move to brooklyn super show style as teens > inherit an established plumbing business from a family friend > by pure wild fucking chance get sucked down a toilet to their first bowser-beating adventure > brooklyn sucked ass anyhow and was full of jerks who routinely bullied mario and luigi for being immigrants anyhow, so the bros choose toads over other humans after the death of mama mario and the closure of their brooklyn business

 🌠 mario. likes cats. he like to pet a cat. 

[realhankmccoy]

it’s not shocking. I see the Trump 5 constantly reviving the worst aspects of the white supremacist past because it helps them feel ‘free’ — and if their violence hurts some minority, all the better in their head — it’s funny to them, they feel like maybe the minority will Trumpen Up aka Toughen Up and it’s all Ad Astra to them in the most typical of ways.

these people actually think they’re doing the world some sort of favour by dropping the ball on the 1000 things men carry the hall on and

Getting their KKK and old fashioned redneck ‘I’ll kill ya if ya don’t submit, maybe kill ya cuz it turns this Confederate on sexshulky haha when it comes to freedom instead’

I mean just watch that movie Deliverance about those southern redneck half homos to understand what Christina, my dad and prob my brother to some extent find sexy. Trump’s a bit the same way. They just want that Southern freedom to get their rocks off in those ways.

It’s typical of a lot of Wonderbread tho — they mix up love and lust with hate and it feels ‘stronger’ to them, from Trump’s predatory pouncing upon pieces of ass to bite into to Musk reputedly having all these demons and associating wild (to me it’s Baron Harkonnen sexual fetishes, blatantly) psychopathic hatred and abuse to love, so that Grimes has spoken out about it and says she always has to make sure she’s meeting the ‘right Elon’ of his multiple personalities.

The trump 5 are all slow movers, barely ever move from living their lives in the same chair as the same couch potato — barely ever change at all except for the Trump xenomorph having increased in all of them gradually.

anyhow, they’re not the sort of people anybody over the age of 12 truly wants to put up with much except for sort of fellow Neanderthals and headcases who are frustrated by a liberalism that sets some limits on bad behaviour and suggests that one should at least meet a bare minimum of decency even if one is totally worthless on being a man. All they can focus is on how shattering that bare minimum of decency, like Trump Elon and Eminem do, is somehow akin to the programming code of the masters aka Freedom and this is the essential secret sauce to the simp when it wants to feel like a good boy or a proud boy or hero. Folks in America used to turn themselves into serial killers because they felt like they were doing the cause of Freedom a service. It’s all quite typical and traditional in the abusive new world to push in the rape and pillage and shrine to death directions, because the simp notion of freedom to harm is very appealing to the child who’s being monitored on the playground and told to play nice. The child has no adult responsibilities, but changing the playground rules into consensual harm to others at the very least, as Trump has suggested they do, seems like an improvement to the playground and to the child’s own excitement to the child.

you can’t really get these people to grow up and they can’t change shit about themselves really other than how they can Trumpify themselves and expand Trump’s operational code for Trump.

they all need a personal trainer to fix their bodies, a therapist to fix their minds, a life coach to fix their lives — they will never have desirable bodies, minds or lives otherwise — but they are not adult enough to even figure out how to get one of these three and pay for it, let alone get all three and pay for it over the length of time it would take slow movers such as themselves to change a little.

So it’s just sort of, you know, expanding the range of ‘edgy’ violence as a Proud Boy incel for the master who cucked them all, Trump, wants them to do. Bro is not an incel, the one of the 5 who’s not, but if that pussy juice ever shuts off on him, he could decay and mutate into something more akin to the rest, who do mental tricks on them to explain to themselves why their lack of healthy sex lives is actually a special boy situation, a boy with big plans for himself and the world, blah blah… though they cannot truly come up with any plan other than being a mouthpiece for Trump’s vision

[cheerupdoll]

I never cared for big headed dolls but this Shibajuku Koe I found heavily marked down just before christmas hypnotized me and I had to take her home because I’m in love. I think Shibajuku’s faces are oddly unphotogenic for how cute and captivating they actually are in real life (the fringed hairdo holds them back I think). Still, it’s.. pretty wild when a doll’s arms barely reach halfway up her head because it’s so enormous. The body is untenable anyhow. Buuut she’s cute and hypnotic and her hair is the colour of toothpaste sooo... Anyway, today at Kaufland they had the tiny Shiba-Cuties for less than 3 euros each and Suki seemed like a bro. A weird little pink gremlin bro. Wonder if she’d go on one of those fake azone bodies from aliexpress any good...

[beowulfs-booty-call]

SG Headcanons? SG Headcanons: Beowulf Edition™

Beowulf is stated to be very patriotic in his voice lines and Parasoul references his work “with” them, before rudely telling him to retire if she wins against him. This means that she also knew about the plan with the Medici Mafia to fight a drugged Grendel and win against him for the sake of the war against foreigners / the Skullgirls. However, this may also mean Beowulf participated in the war or had some sort of encounter with the royal family, if not being the entertainment for them in some manner. I personally think King Renoir oversaw his match against Grendel and made sure to work the deal so as to work up the favor for the canopy kingdom.

Beowulf also likes to drink Chamomile tea after first killing Grendel, it was offered to him as a way to sleep, and as such, it helped get over the restless nights where all he could sometimes do was realize… He may have actually killed a friend. I wanna think that there is some idea that he’s killed Grendel, but he’s repressed it into the psyche he plays off as Beowulf™

There’s been times Beowulf sits on the couch just to hope he can relax, but all he does is sit in his robe, boxers and tank top and just idles. His mind runs a whole bunch and he’s distracted with the idea of “What’s his purpose? What’s his use? What really is Beowulf?”

I actually project myself through Beowulf, lot like other characters such as Terra Branford or Eriko Kirishima, but I like to believe that Beowulf actually took his name up instead of being born with it. If not, he went with “Just Beowulf” instead because he’s a simple guy. That’s all he needs.

He’s also a really hard worker, but, he’s prone to sometimes over doing it AKA training every day with his weights or the gym because it’s been mentally drilled into him. If he wanted to be the best, he HAD to be the best. It’s one of the reasons he drinks Chamomile tea often: to relax and let things take place. At 37 years old, he was prone to feeling like he wouldn’t be able to finish every goal he wanted until he was “old”. He understands a bit better now that his accomplishments will last at the end of his storyline.

In the TV show Annie and Beowulf run, Beowulf is the superhero to the kids of New Meridian, while also taking on many new opponents in the ringside. He’s much more a WWE styled wrestler in that he’s back to being a celeb now, but still has his humble beginnings. He also has dated on and off again, but, even in the show he makes empty compliments / receives them from both genders. “What a strong man…” “Ah, thank you sir! Wulfman eats 8 dozen eggs every mornin’ just for trainin’!” “Oh… If only that amazing, handsome Captain Wulf was here…!” “Never fear, the Wulf is here! And… He’s free any time on Friday 8pm at Yu-Wan’s!”

Every morning he wakes up and does 125 squats, 200 pec decks, 225 crunches…

COMFORT CLOTHES EVERY DAY THIS MAN ONLY WEARS HIS BOXERS AND TANK TOPS OR SWEATS HE’S STILL A COLLEGE STUDENT.

When “incognito”, he just wears sunglasses and a baseball cap. Smooth.

Beowulf has also been a little on the chubby side as a kid, but mainly from eating well from backhome. I like to think he was born in the Canopian kingdom, but just has blood in other places he just hasn’t known or seen yet. It would make sense to the Geatish Trepak or Norse / Viking inspired moves to the original Beowulf anyhow. He came to the Canopy Kingdom fresh out the humble life and immediately found himself attracted to the rough and tumble before being let into the wrestling federation to prove his skills.

I like to think either he got his pelt from a Wolf he grew up with that later died peacefully, or, he hunted when he was younger before seeing a wolf die at the end of the hunt. No use for wolf meat where he came from, and in anger at the loss of life, he skinned the wolf for its pelt and vowed to take its place instead. He’s vehement of animal rights, but also tries his best to be open to nature despite hunting as his ideology is to live off the land with just what he needs.

I wanna also say that where Beo grew up in may have a cultural practice where the people take the pelts of animals they use to represent themselves. Bears for patriarchs/matriarchs, weasels / rats for children, otters for teens, and so on so forth. The wolf pelt was taboo and he later used it in rebellion to what he saw in it. Another idea is that the wrestling federation also has animal gimmicks as a way of bringing in the crowd Ala “The man from outta nowhere / Down under.”

Actually has a secret pen name and writes critiques about Operas / musicals and has an appreciation for Jazz as well as the late Contiello  family. He has been known to show up, decked out, and seat himself in the best seat, only to scream at the singers / actors with critiques. “JEEZ, MARIA, CAN YOU SING ANY LOWER? I CAN’T HEAR YOU FROM THE BALCONY.” “HEY SKULLBETH, DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND BREAK A LEG WITH THAT CLASS ACT.” “YOU CALL THAT AN ARIA, I CALL THAT DIAR–” Of course no one expects this, so, the surprise comes in the form of a well made, thought out essay based on the finer points of the actions and tribulations the actors did or sang. He’s also a stickler for analysis!

The Hurting was actually a parting gift from the local wrestling federation: Just like Hrunting was given to him by Unferth, The Hurting was given to Beowulf by his old sleazy manager where ironically, hasn’t proven unuseful to this day

Immediately and utterly distracted by dogs, he can’t help it. He’s consumed with love over them and would postpone a battle just to pet one.

Unlike the public opinion, he has a master’s degree in English as well as Sociology, though, he’s not one to flex the brain muscles because he has to maintain the psyche of a warrior half the time. This is why he always whispers when fighting with people, while also pretending wrestling is “real” and “isnt”, he’s more focused on maintaining character

Grendel can in fact hear everything Beowulf is saying pre-Marie death, however, all he hears is Beowulf’s fighting quotes: “RUNNIN’ WILD, ALL’S CHAIR, TAKE A LOAD OFF!” (I have a comic planned for this lol)

Grendel’s arm is partially sentient, though he can hear and act, he still gets where his “friend” is coming from time to time. 

The Hurting gets reupholstered time to time, lots of fashion choices to be really honest, too little time to decide.

Unironically, Beowulf actually digs wearing skimpy clothes / speedos when weather permitting / in the mood, however… He doesn’t understand the social aspects of one, so, one he ran into the ring in a regular wrestling speedo and well… Let’s just say there’s a reason the beta drew that ONLY.

Went to college with Adam Kapowski, though, he mainly spoke to him over complaining about his physical education courses / wrestling club “Look, man, I got this cute professor but like, he doesn’t know jack shit over suplexing. Why? BECAUSE EVEN VICTORIA CAN SUPLEX ME BETTER THAN HE CAN”

Has once met Ms. Victoria during his offseason time when retired and she thought he was a villain when he applied to be a librarian, however, when she shows up as D. Violet, and scopes him out “closing” up, she finds him… Bench pressing book cases before she hurries back, still very concerned over the fact that she has to share her students with a supposed gigan wrestler.

Children flock to him for advice and training, and he loves it. When working as a librarian, he would help tutoring or cheer on students, as well as the whacky prank of stealing the janitor’s mop and mobile and would ride it down the halls with the kids. 

When time came to retire out of retirement, the kids came together and made him a botched card thanking him for all he did. Later, he would return to the ring and dedicate his first match to those very kids, and Ms. Victoria, who all sat in the front seats to the match, each with free Wulf™ merch.

Victoria respects him after this, though, she believes he may just be the silliest warrior to show up. D.Violet though has an unrequited crush on him. I’m tickled to fathom they maybe get married, but Beo isn’t one for really being tied down as he is now.

I’m biased to saying he marries me, but hey, that’s not what this post is about: Relationship wise, Beo is fine with no ring, but he’s not much for the ball and chain. He likes to build things up slow and steady, and extremely affectionate due to not receiving that love as much before.

Despite his exterior, his chest hair is like, soft af. Arm hair though isn’t easy and lemme tell you, dude is hairy everywhere. So, he makes it a point to not care and just trim the beard here and there. Also made a very bad commercial about hair loss and body hair despite the fact he doesn’t have those issues.

His hair is super curly so he just brushes it to the side. That’s it. That’s the goddamn cowlick hair cut we all love

Is the only one to know Annie’s true self, but pretends not to for the sake of being another “dumb mortal”. He implies he knows Annie isn’t the same Annie as “before”, but only to draw her ire. At the end of the story line, though, Annie and him grow closer enough that he admits his knowledge and Annie becomes his wingman and bro. 

And I mean bro as in, homegirl screens all would be dates / gf / bf and also manages to make time to meet at their favorite local diner. She hates the amount of hate he gets time to time for being “basic” but she herself is your run of the mill “anime magical girl”. Annie chalks it up to the fact no one cares about talent anymore, but Beowulf still believes Annie has some talent left in her, despite her not seeing it. It’s one of those key reasons she’s very big on his wellbeing: He trusts and believes in her when not many people do. They just believe in the girl of the stars, not Annie.

Annie likes to WHUMP her face on him when embarrassed, and many a time people have walked into his chest or abs because he’s 6′7″ HE’S A FUCKING GIANT. He doesn’t mind it, in fact, he’s flattered by it on the inside ‘cuz he’s a smug Wulf.

Annie, after about 2 weeks being his best friend, cracks many raunchy jokes with him, though, he also brags about certain things he knows she probably won’t experience to her dismay. “Man, Annie, I would have really taken you out to the bar, but oh, I forgot, they don’t serve children!” “Wulf, you’re lucky a 12 year old can’t stab a middle aged man.” “Excuse me princess, would you like another helping of Dinosaur nuggets and fries?”

Tired Wulf Boi Curls Up and Sleps

Cried because he saw those ASPCA commercials

Would fuck a werewolf. Would fuck a monster for the ride of his life. Would also have the gas running and the car ready in case you need the body hid. He’s a ride or die sort of dude, he makes it known when you wake him up too early without context.

“Oh, gosh, golly, gee” is something he copies from Annie time to time

Struggles also, not to curse around her. Dick-tionary, Ass-ets, Douche-Nozzler the gobbledygook. All Annie™ words.

Broke a laptop just by touching it, can now hold a toaster in his hands.

Would not get the reality of wearing a collar. “Wow, you must have a nice do–”

Is still waking up each morning ready to find and craft his purpose in life. He’s used to it not knowing, but he’s clearing his head so far

[maxwellmcl]

The Origin of Catheism

“Oh mama, it’s weed that I love!” shouted Davey while exhaling a mouth full of smoke. “Used to worry, but I don’t worry anymore!”

Jeremy and Nathan cheesed at Davey’s eruption. Neither of them could match Davey’s enthusiasm for anything, let alone his unabashed love for marijuana. The blunt was almost past the roach stage, but Davey passed it over to Nathan anyhow.

Like a catatonic automaton, Nate mumbled something unintelligible as he raised the fiery roll to his mouth and the last puff of smoke seeped past his lips. He shook the remaining bit of blunt off the tip of his finger into the ashtray on the coffee table. 

All three of them sunk into the cushions of the old couch they had salvaged from the curb outside a 7-11 a few years ago. It had been the final piece for their mock living room in Nate’s parent’s garage. Together, they drank their first beer on that couch sophomore year of high school after Nate’s parents had fallen asleep. They smoked their first joint on it junior year. A month ago, Jeremy lost his virginity on that couch, though neither Davey or Nate ever knew. 

They sunk into it deeper each day as its springs lost their strength.

Amply stoned, Jeremy nodded his head to the Jimmy Page guitar riffs ringing from Nate’s old boom box—he was still playing CDs. Nate found a comfortable position and closed his eyes, and Davey looked at cat pictures on his phone. 

The pictures were endless. It’s like the internet was made for cats to have their pictures taken and posted there, he thought. How else could there be so many?

"What if the internet was made for cats?” Davey interjected into the calm garage air. “What if the internet was made by cats?”

Even with his eyes closed, Nate let out a tiny snort. Jeremy only turned his eye and went back to the music. Davey was at it again. 

“I mean, honestly, how many cats do you know that have cameras?

"How many cats do you know that own computers?

"But, look! There are cats everywhere on the internet.”

A long pause was only interrupted by Davey’s confused huffs and gasps at this cat-pictures-on-the-internet phenomenon.

“That’s what makes you think cats made the internet, that there are pictures of them on there?” Jeremy wasn’t yet persuaded. 

“C’mon, they’re everywhere, man. I mean, if just a few made it to the internet then it wouldn’t be such a big deal. But there are millions, probably billions really, who have managed to get their picture taken and posted on the internet for any computer, tablet, or phone-owning human to see. What if they made humans do it and we didn’t even know?”

“And how did they do that?” Jeremy was at least into the entertainment. 

“Um, I mean,” Davey was trying his best to uphold the leaping conclusion, “maybe they’re kinda like gods! Like, you know how the Egyptians worshipped cats like gods? They’ve been around forever, and like, yeah, what if they were gods and they controlled us and to prove their powers they made us make the internet so we would take their pictures and post them on it to exert their utter dominance over us, but we’re too stupid to know that they did that and they just lie around despising us because we’re so stupid?”

Davey was almost out of breath, but he continued.

“Like you know how Jesus is God incarnate? Cats are maybe like Cat-God incarnate. All hail Cat-God! What else could explain this paradox of no cats owning cameras and computers, yet their images have made it all over the internet, a space that is kind of, like, everywhere, like God?”

“If cats were gods, we would do more for them than put their pictures on the internet, bro.” Nate was awake. “There would be hella scratching posts all over the place and shit. We wouldn’t be smoking weed, dude. We’d be smoking catnip.”

“Nate has a point,” Jeremy said out of pure nuisancery.

“Well maybe, but you ever heard of those rich people who buy apartments just for their cats? Like, they just buy a whole floor in a Fifth Avenue high rise and their cats live there and they have maids and everything. I don’t know, you guys, but I think God is a cat.”

Nate grunted and got up for a snack. Glued to his seat, Jeremy stayed put in anticipation of more absurdity, but out of nowhere a booming, echoing MEEEOOOOWWWWW shook Earth from the sky. Buildings quaked, streetlights and billboards whipped, and mice and birds hid in holes. 

Jeremy clutched the armrest and his chest heaved like he had lost his virginity on that couch again. Nate streaked back to the garage, his mouth still full of cheesy-roos. 

Simultaneously, Nate and Jeremy yelled, “Did you hear that?”

Unfazed, Davey took pictures of Lucy, Nathan’s orange and white cat. He posted the best one to his Instagram, and captioned it #meow. 

“Davey, did you hear that?” Jeremy wheezed. 

“Lucy, you’re so pretty.”

Nate and Jeremy turned to each other with a befuddled glance.

"What if when a cat purrs it’s actually like when God speaks to priests?” Jeremy didn’t believe this, but he wanted to see if Davey could even hear them. 

“Exactly, dude.” Davey could hear them, but was entranced all of a sudden by Lucy, by taking her photograph and sharing the image for all the internet’s universality to witness.

Davey could not be trusted, thought Jeremy and Nathan. Yes, the sky did boom with the sound of a quaking MEOW, but the extent to which each of them ought to unwaveringly worship Lucy hadn’t been thereby revealed to them, like it seemed to have been revealed to Davey. Jeremy and Nathan backed themselves slowly into the house and left Davey there in the garage with Lucy.

Years later, as the founder of the Catheist Church, Davey (no longer called Davey, but now referred to as Big Lion by the believers in Catheism) led prayers, which, rather than requiring one to put one’s hands together and close one’s eyes, involved performing a kneading motion into a pillow and purring. Only the most devout Catheists could purr convincingly. And of course, Big Lion encouraged photography during all Catheist services. 

Neither Jeremy or Nathan ever became Davey’s apostles or anything like that. After the feline revelation the three of them witnessed, no one in the world reported having heard the thunderous meow, and Jeremy and Nate just attributed hearing the noise to their being high as, well, cats on a two-story roof. Davey continued, however, calling the incident his burning bush moment. “Of course no one else heard it, for we are the chosen ones,” he would say. 

Davey still joined his friends on the couch in Nate’s parent’s garage for a smoke from time to time. After all, it is the place where everything began for Catheism. That couch in that garage was his Horeb or Hira. During his visits, he made sure Lucy, in all her godliness, got all the pictures she apparently demanded to be taken, and then posted them all across the internet. The whole thing never really changed Davey at his core—his path in life had forever been altered by the feline revelation, but the wild conjectures his unique mind was capable of creating while under the influence of marijuana hadn’t been dampened the slightest amount. 

One day, Davey proposed one such conjecture: “What if, you know, all the songs ever written and recorded still existed, but only one singer ever existed, and that singer was Randy Newman?” Nate and Jeremy rolled their eyes, but helplessly hooted their approval of Big Lion. Then Davey sang Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” in the clumsy, gulpy, hiccupy style of Randy Newman’s singing voice, and they were all as happy as a monkey in a monkey tree.

[musesfromnippon]

   { So I’m still awake and thinking... “You know, until I get those about pages set up, why not write short bits that sum up the muse?” So that’s what I’m doing.     Expect some of these to be a bit ridiculous, cause I haven’t slept yet. }

Amenominakanushi: The Dad of all Dads. He’s gonna drop some wisdom on you and also be really vague sometimes. I bet he knows too much about everything.

Inari-okami: Gender doesn’t exist, especially for them. Feel free to refer by she/her, he/him, or they/them. Foxes are friends and also the thieves of your missing socks. Might adopt you like Ammy does, but less “parent” type and more “party uncle/aunt with a glass of sake in one hand.”

Nuregami: Pure bean who is here to make sure things are going okay...with the water, of course! She’s a little awkward around people. Family, save her.

Kabegami: Will climb everything tall that you own, including you, if you’re tall. Hope you like cats; she’s got a lot of kitty friends. Will steal any seafood you have...or just give it to her. Make a new friend.

Sakuya: Guardian of the trees and wishing she could do a bit more with her life. Still, she knows all the secrets of Kamiki. All. Of. Them. Become her gossip buddy, it’ll be worth your time. But be careful of what you want to know about....

Kushi: Came home to raise her sons and brew sake...and her adopted son left to figure out his past while her other child is probably learning things he shouldn’t from his father. Brew so good it can get the gods wasted, so beware....

Camellia & Camille: The traveling sisters who visit Guardian Saplings around Nippon! Camellia being the elder sister and Camille being the younger and who is also super up to date on that kami stuff. Big sis is waaaay behind, yo.

Princess Fuse: Princess of the canines and the boss of Kusa Village. Totally. Also OkamiDen isn’t canon, so there’s no acting going on here. Only a woman trying to keep her warrior-dogs in line and encourage them to keep protecting their home!!!

Kaguya: Just your average space princess from the moon, no big deal. Also one of few remaining Lunarians after some massive bullshit that somebody pulled and our bets are either on Orochi or Yami...... So yeah, now she’s the ruler of the shambles of her home and kinda needs to get on fixing that. Sometime soon, hopefully.

Queen Himiko: She may be dead in Okami canon, but now is the time to say, “fUCK SHE MAY BE DEAD....but that’s what we have past RPs and AU threads for.” Anyways, she’s a badass who rules the throne while her husband plays with demon fangs, so know who’s the powerful one around Sei’an City... Cause it’s her.

Kamo & Abe: Some Tao Troopers who serve under Waka. Just remember that Abe is the ditz and Kamo is the cool, collected dude you can trust with anything. Abe would probably sell all of your secrets for a dinner at Sei’an’s finest. Abe is a DORK.

Queen Oto: Remember kids, “Otohime” is “Princess Oto”, so technically she’s “Queen Oto” now, a’right?? ANYWHO. You know Himiko and how badass she is/was? Well, here comes Queen Oto, ready to LAY DOWN THE LAW OF BADASSERY. Cause she changed into a huge fucking dragon while preggo to help the sun kami and her bouncing friend fight off a God Complex Ninetails. She’s also a widowed, single mother and that kid is gonna be just as incredible as she is. Damn.

Tobi: Speaking of the Ninetails, that big bro had a cool dude working for him...and that guy, was a demonic slip of paper. Who liked to race! And helped you to the top with those races!! LONG LIVE TOBI!!! So yeah, he’s stickin’ around here and ready to hand out some flowers.

Samickle: Yo, you won’t believe this, but.... This guy is the Oina chief now. Crazy, right?! Yeah... He’s also sorta engaged. Just some fanficy shit, dON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, GOSH.

Tuskle: They made her as a one-off priestess in-game.... And then I came along and went, “Mine now.” So now we’re gonna get a badass shaman in this group, helping people heal, giving advice, and lowkey being a mom to everyone. Someone’s gotta!

Ayame: The OkamiDen one-off to play really hardcore on your emotions, while also tying into a story nobody knows about... Again though, I’m taking her. She’s mine now. Imma make her cute as hell and ya’ll gonna have to love her now!!! (Don’t worry, you will naturally. Ayame is too cute and pure. Gotta love them pure peeps~)

Kuni: He was the son of Susano and Kushi...until he revealed he actually wasn’t, he’s just adopted. We can either talk about this crazy kiddo and his attempts to figure out who he really is...or just get our butts into the future, where he’s a damn good swordsman and a handsome boi.

Nanami: The Dragonians continue to be badass and elegant...and Nanami’s here to hammer that point home. Hope you like water and water hair, cause that’s what you’re getting here, bucko. She’s real cute, though. Prepare to be charmed.

Kagu: OkamiDen may have flopped in story, but DAMN if all their girls ain’t #goals! Our little actress-miko Kagu, back at it again with her incredible powers, eventual (possible) heir to the Sei’an throne, and also getting a little sweeter with the acceptance of who she is. Confidence out the wazoo and it looks GOOD for her!!

Kurow: ...Blease protect my boy..... He did not deserve what canon gave him...... So now he’s gonna be coddled here and protected... Probably for a week or two. Then we toss him to the angst hounds. Also should mention all of the kid partners (including this rad dude) have “adult AUs” so... That’s a thing.

Sugawara: Hey, if Capcom could maybe like....stop hurting my babes from the Moon Tribe, that’d be rad, okay? That’s gonna be my job, dudes. SO. Denying canon a bit? Maybe. Mostly just wanna set this guy free... Maybe get him a date. He’s too attractive to be single I mEAN WHAT--

Dark Chibiterasu: Remember that bit? At the end? Well, screw that, too, cause I’m gonna make my own dark Chibi. He’s sorta his own entity now, though. How you interact with him, shapes how he’s gonna be, so.... Play with him wisely! Else you’re gonna be at fault if he grows up to be a very bad pupper.

(Oh hey, it’s the OC section. We made it this far!!)

Koamashi of Nippon: So in a summary, Koamashi are like...land guardians? They collect the history of their homeland and stuff and this could go on forever. This one is a happy being and also ready to kick your ass. But she probably won’t, cause being friendly is the way to go! (Also that whole “cursed land” thing didn’t go well for her, so she’s still trying to recover from that.

Koamashi of Kamui: A cold guy (ahahahaa, get it??), but could be tight-knit...if he had friends. He just sorta...watches over the Oina and Poncles. That’s his main dealio. He’s a sad man, give him a hug...once you know him better, anyways. Doesn’t like touches from strangers, m’dude.

Koamashi of the Takamagahara: You’ll likely never meet this guy unless, like... You die or something. Or are a deity of some kind? He’s a cool dude, though. Very friendly, patient, and kind. Probably gives warm hugs. Will kick your ass if need be, though. Died once; not fun. Also, the Koamashi are technically genderless, but they do lean towards a preference of appearance, so.... And they really don’t mind, either way.

Handmaiden Reiko: Dad the sake brewer, mom the painter, and big brother the warrior...and their parents are dead, of course. Reiko somehow managed to get a job as a handmaiden to a tanuki princess, but... Geez, is it straining or WHAT?! Makes using a bow look so, so easy.... Patient af, though; she’s still working to keep getting money to ensure a good life back at home. Also has an Oina bf named Hayato.

Demon Cat Sukei: Fight first, questions later. Won’t let you pet him and will bite if you try. Maybe claw, too, if he can manage it. Can speak English/Japanese and will hand over demonic wares and give advice on demons/imps to talk to who might be of help, if got need of them. Alright, if an asshole.

Genetic Pup Aoi: Remember the “Science is Bad” trope? Well, it’s sorta true here; get the hair and blood of a kami with some science shit and BAM!! Here’s four godly puppies, have fun explaining that shit to the higher ups. Aoi is the blu boi and he’s got them water powers. Eldest of the four sibs and thus, the leader.

Genetic Pup Hinote: Second in command to Aoi, but sorta like Starscream in that he keeps trying for first place. Dark pupper and the only one to have black fur; he controls fire and- yes- is a bit of a hothead. He’s a good big bro to Kusa, though.

Genetic Pup Kusa: The green boy, associated with wind, and the fastest of ‘em all because of it. Could probably speed over water, honestly. He just likes to run and play with Hinote, cause they’re the other duo to Aoi and Sakura.

Genetic Pup Sakura: Cliche name for the pink pup with the earth powers... Also the sole girl, but she knows that just makes her better then! ...Right? Is the runt of the group, but also sorta the powerhouse, considering how important nature is, and all. Is the “underling” to the duo between her and Aoi, though she secretly prefers Hinote to give her attention.

Lunarian Aristocrat Kiyoshi: One of the Moon Tribe runaways during the fall. Kinda sorta doesn’t care what happened back home, cause Sei’an City is a lot cooler, anyhow... Mostly cause 300+ years of being there and it’s still a neat place to him. Is a little shit in the way only a very flashy man can be. It’s all a part of that Lunarian charm, eh~?

Tanuki Princess Yua: Got big tiddies cause mythology states that tanuki have ridiculously huge and useful ballsacks. The more you know!! Yua, however, is the second child who is a girl, and thus won’t get the throne. So via la rebellion and exploring the world of Nippon and Kamui time!! She’s the princess Reiko has to watch over, bless the woman’s heart... Yua likes playing tricks, flirting a bit, but has some wild ADHD that just....won’t settle. Can at least relax a little in Wep’keer/Kamui, so Reiko can see her man and not have to fuss over the princess during that bit of their trip.

Oina Woman Miame: CALLBACK TIME. So remember Samickle? Being engaged? Here’s his fiancée. YUP. Casual woman who he kinda had to help when she got herself trapped and hurt... Sorta stuck around with nowhere else to go, wormed her way into the pack....and then some cheesy bit like “warming up Sami’s heart” or something. Definitely does know how to keep him from stressing out too much, though, so... Go her!!

Demon Priest Takahiro: He got a name for this appearance. At long last, he hAS A NAME!!! He’s mostly here to pay for his crimes years ago, when he forced Amaterasu to swallow up this stone of darkness kinda thing? It makes her go into a baddie mode, basically. Yeah, he did it. That’s his fault. Also, that hasn’t been fixed, so..... Someone needs to get on that and drag Takahiro with them!!

Young Fox Akemi: “Young” by kitsune standards, thank you. She’s still in her early 200s! Anywho... Fox from a small kitsune village. Has been going around to learn stuff about the world as she gains her tails. Made a friend in another wandering kitsune with similar goals, so they joined up; he’s been traveling longer, though. Associated with the autumn season.

Teenage Fox Yoshirou: Akemi’s friend and a black fox of 3-tails, so... About 300 years already under his belt. Wanted to be alone and in peace, but Akemi was younger than him, so... He relented. Acts like her big brother now, basically. Since they’ve wandered from their homes and families, expect him to be the one to look over suitors in place of her actual family.

Lunarian Scholar Kazuki: If you’ve been around me for about a year, you know this guy already. If not, he’s basically the ex-love interest to Shiori over at Goddessof-Poems. He kinda died during the whole wipeout of the Moon Tribe? Yeah... He used to do a lot of important writing for the Moon Tribe and gave Shiori her signature, golden collar. (Still wears it to this day.) He’s a dead guy now, but Izanami likes setting him free sometimes to amuse herself. So whether in the past or present, Kazuki is around somehow...somewhere.....