#anyway! long story here! i haven't been able to bring myself to post this here for 6 months bc it was so emotionally painful

[thiswillcostyourheart]

YOU decide what you want.

nobody else has the right to tell you what you should want or do in your personal life, now or in the future. 

whatever you choose, it should be because you want it, not out of pressure from others. you choose what you want in your life and what makes you happy.

[anamoon63]

Hi guys, I am writing this in case anyone wonders why I have been kind of MIA lately. No, I haven't forgotten you, but I have had a difficult week, more than a difficult week, I have been through a real ordeal. Where or how it started it's a long story which I don't have the time or the energy to tell, so I'll just share a brief chronology of what happened during this past week.

Friday May 3 - I turned in my finished work and set out to do my sims posts, play and rest for the weekend since more work would be coming my way on Monday.

Saturday May 4 - My husband came down with the flu, I spent most of the day with him in the emergency room.

Sunday May 5 - I spent it taking care of my husband, who fortunately no longer had a fever. I barely slept two hours at night giving care and medication.

Monday 6 May - My birthday, we couldn't go out for dinner as usual, so we celebrated at home.

Tuesday, May 7 - My son comes down with the flu, too, another afternoon in the ER and sleepless night caring for him and bringing down his fever.

Wednesday, May 8 - My son starts to feel better, and begins to recover very quickly. I start working on the following translations, at the same time I take care of both my husband and my sick son, do food, laundry, order home medicines, and all kinds of small chores, including disinfecting things. It's like going back to 2020.

Thursday, May 9 - My husband no longer has a fever but does have a cough that won't go away and minor problems with his asthma.

Friday, May 10 - Mother's Day, my son was feeling fine, my husband still had a cough, and had a doctor's appointment at noon, when he returned, we celebrated at home just like on my birthday, I spent the rest of the day working, and juggling a thousand other things. In the evening my daughter started to feel sick, but still no fever.

Saturday, May 11 (yesterday) - My daughter woke up with a fever, another visit to the ER. She was prescribed flu medicine, painkillers and rest, and sent home.

And that's my odyssey so far. On top of it all, from Wednesday through Saturday we were in the middle of a heat wave with temperatures of 37ºC with real feel of up to 45ºC; at night we get a "cooler" temperature of 29ºC. So imagine a person with a fever of 38 ºC and with this heat, obviously it's not of much help.

Surprisingly, I haven't gotten sick so far, but I'm not claiming victory. I have been taking care of my family for a week, sleeping two or three hours a night, getting up at different times to check on them, or give them medicine. I don't have time for getting sick! Lol. Thankfully, everyone is better and last night for the first time in a week I was able to sleep straight through. Honestly, I don't need many hours of sleep, but I am routinely and usually I am in bed a 11 pm and up at 8 am every day, so all this did upset my sleep cycle a little bit.

Anyway, that is the reason why I wasn't here much, since the whole day I was too busy, and at night I was so tired all I wanted was to go to bed. I apologize if I've fallen behind on your updates, I'm not ignoring you in any way, I just didn't have the strength or the time, not even to play The Sims. If I did, it was just a little free play to distract myself.

Last week I told you that I was juggling a lot of things, well now I have even more things, lol, at times I feel really exhausted, and even a little cranky from lack of sleep, the first few days my feet and legs hurt so much from going back and forth, but I'm fine, healthy, and in good spirits. Today I believe, as never before, that the universe does not send you more than you can handle.

At this point my family is already in recovery, if I don't get sick too, it's likely by I'll be able to get back to my simming routine. Now, if I do get sick, I hope to recover as quickly as the others. Whatever happens, I'll be around. Know that, even if I don't comment, I read you, and I am with you, especially with those who are going through difficult times of any kind.

Ok, I said to myself this was going to be a short post, but I made a wall of text instead (for a change). My apologies if it's written in a sloppy or confusing way, I just wanted to write it quickly to let you know where I have been and what has been going on with me these days. I hope you are all well, please take care of yourselves, health is a treasure that can be lost at any moment, the flu is a nasty disease, we must never let our guard down and forget to take the necessary measures to prevent it.

Last, but not least, I want to thank all of you who have mentioned me, tagged me, sent me asks and/or stars to my inbox, commented and/or liked what few posts I could do these days, I appreciate it very much and I'll try to reply to you as soon as I can, though I've fallen so far behind that I don't know if I'll be able to find your mentions in my notifications. In any case, thank you very, very much to all of you for thinking about me in my absence. 💗 I'll see you soon, hopefully, with more sim adventures, stay tuned!

[breakfastteatime]

hope you don't mind the rant but argh i finally realised why i feel so disconnected to survivor in comparison to how close jfo is to me

spoilers for those who haven't played survivor

but i really dislike major decisions made and i'm gonna babble on a little (i've had like eight panadol and two sleeping meds as of the last hour n a half so if this doesn't make sense that's why)

one that's been swirling around my head ever since i played us that it really felt like they brought cordova back JUST to kill him off. this also ties into my next point that i find bode's betrayal hard to believe as well. every role he had in the story could easily be replaced by someone such as cere, and i felt like the only reason he was there was to have someone for bode to kill to show how really evil he was but respawn didn't want to kill any of the main cast off. he's such a useless character in the plot that killing him off didnt effect anything LMAO

my next major dislike is, understandably, about bode :,) yes i know this can come off as making excuses for a character i was attached to since the trailers dropped but the more i think about it the more i really cannot understand both the timeline and the motive that was behind bode's betrayal. i kind of get the idea he was lax about betraying them UNTIL cal mentioned using tanalorr for the hidden path but according to the echoes you get after the game bodenis plotting and scheming the whole time... plus, you think that his whole motive relies on creating a safe place for kata on tanalorr where no one can find them but also like. you have two (technically three) jedi, a nightsister, and a whole clan of anchorites that kick the empire's ass every day. "will you be able to protect her when the empire comes?" fuckass have you SEEN cal use a lightsaber?? kata is safer with cal then she is bode

dagan was hella underwhelming too which disappointed me tbh i was excited for this high republic jedi to show us all this cool stuff only for him to die in like three seconds 😔

ANYWAY i hope this ain't too long but i'd love to hear your thoughts/criticisms on js bc i love the game and all the little bits are amazing but some of the decisions made have me a bit hrghh

Okay, friend, you asked for it ;)

The decision to bring back Cordova was an unexpected one, but the sight of him makes me cry happy tears every damn time, so it doesn't bother me at all. I take your point re: Cere being able to do everything he does, but part of Bode’s betrayal also hinges on him betraying Cere to Vader, who clearly wants vengeance after Nur (which is SO IN CHARACTER for Vader I can only lol. Petty bitch.), so Bode killing her wouldn't have had quite the same impact.

Because I was so convinced he was dead that him *actually* being dead didn’t strike me as ‘brought back only to die’. I would argue that killing him off did put them at risk of not being able to reach Tanalorr and defintely drove Cal to Nova Garon, but yes… Cordova's character probably lacks development and definitive purpose compared to the others… Although even as I say that, I find myself thinking of the logs he left behind in the various ruins on Jedha and the words of advice and I just can’t get mad. Plus there's that teeny hint that he's been unwell when Merrin asks how he's feeling. I see your points, yes, but I'm not too fussed by any of it.

Moving onto Bode...

So, here’s my interpretation of Bode, based on the post-game echoes and the little nuances that take on a totally new light on a replay. Bode is playing Cal from the very beginning. They are never friends from Bode’s perspective, and he is a master manipulator. He’s a textbook abuser – he lovebombs Cal with compliments and praise to cement their relationship, and does the same with everyone in his family. Plus, he used his knowledge of Cere’s location to further his cause with the Empire.

There’s also a power dynamic at play here because Bode was a Jedi Knight during the war while Cal was still a Padawan. Bode is older and more experienced with the world than Cal. He knows Cal longs for friendship, and he wields that against him more effectively than any weapon. Every action, every word, every choice Bode makes is solely to dig in deeper with Cal so he can and Kata can escape the Empire. Had Cal agreed that Tanalorr would just be for them, *maybe* Bode wouldn’t have betrayed him the way he did, but Bode is well on his way to the dark side because of his attachment to Kata. And Cal very nearly follows him because of his attachments to his family.

To me, this is what the Jedi Order meant by 'no attachments'. Jedi are allowed to love, but when that love becomes all consuming, when it becomes an obsession, that’s when the attachment becomes dangerous. Bode’s story is very similar to Anakin’s, he’s just not as powerful. Hasn’t got those Skywalker genes 😉  

Bode’s motive to me is clear – he *thinks* everything is about Kata, but actually it’s all about him. It’s about his grief and rage and fear because of his wife's death the terrible choices he made. Denvik promises that if Bode gives him what he wants (Cal and Cere), he will reveal which Inquistor murdered his wife. Bode is already in it for revenge, not his daughter's wellbeing. His choices are very pre-meditated. He is a parent, yes, and I can understand that overriding love of a child, but he is also a grieving husband who is so broken by his loss that his love for Kata has become too possessive. He is terrified of losing his daughter, and it eclipses his love for her. Kata is aware of this, and her love is also turning to fear. Bode is neglectful (he's always leaving Kata behind) and bordering on abusive at the end. He trusts no one but himself, and he even asks Cal at the very end if he can protect Kata. Cal says nothing because he knows he can’t – he’s tried protecting so many people, and he’s lost nearly all of them. He won’t make a promise he can’t keep, and that’s what completely breaks Bode. Bode doesn’t believe anyone *but him* can protect Kata because he has become completely consumed with fear and anger. Cal gave him a chance to make a better choice when he disarmed him. In fact, Bode had *so many chances* to make a better choice, and he didn’t. So, when Bode responded by choosing to try and kill Cal, Merrin *and* very nearly his own daughter, Cal had no choice but to put him down – hard. That second shot took my breath away both times I played the game because Cal knows he cannot save Bode and protect the people who matter, and by showing Bode mercy, more people will die. It's also about control - Bode tries to control everyone. Cal knows he can't, so he takes the only option left - killing Bode. Honestly, the more I think about that finale, the more intense it becomes. It's an astonishing moment.

I do wonder if the reason people struggle with Bode is because he is so nice, and he fits in so well, but it’s all fake and it’s all an act. Whether you saw it coming or not, that hurts. Cal – and the player – want so badly for Bode to be better than he is, and that’s the tragedy. Bode’s not capable of that. He has suffered losses just like Cal, but he couldn’t overcome them. It’s a lot to deal with emotionally!

And as for Dagan, I quite like him! Mostly because that final battle with him incorporates my favourite Star Wars thing – WEIRD FORCE SHIT. He’s also a mirror held up to Cal – this is what you could become if your obsession takes over you. I also think his relationship with Santari Khri is meant to show Cal the potential pitfalls of his relationship with Merrin if his attachment overcomes him… but we’ll have to see what happens next…

Gosh this got long. It's always fun to see other people's perspectives and share my own! Hope you've got some rest and feel better soon :)

[anasweetlywrites]

“ The Project ” Part 2 Tony Stark x Female!Reader

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► ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ◄

Warnings :

Due to the fact that I've been keeping myself busy to stop overthinking the situation which btw still haven't changed so I'm still (or close to ) crying every time I'm thinking about I forgot to work on another part until I checked Tumblr

so far just a few people checked the first part which it's logical anyway considering I haven't been here in so long and I start posting again with an angst but I'll give my best to give this story a better ending no matter how the real life situation will get solved

I think I'll turn this in a mini series idk yet

Two p.o.vs

Angst…yes,again angst…

A little more fluff than in the first one

Surprise : Tony wants to build a helmet with the reader , little affection between them

Alcohol consumption (Tony and his whiskey lol)

Cussing

I think you can say this is a slow burn?

Feedback it's appreciated~

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Words without warnings : 1390

Tony p.o.v

“I let her leave upset like that…I'm sure just a simple text won't make her come back to the lab already but! At least she will know I actually consider her feelings despite the fact that I lashed out and acted like an asshole.” I mumbled out loud and started playing with the glass of whiskey in my hand , absently watching the ice cubes rolling in the alcohol.

It was already late but I didn't mind just taking some time off and starting thinking about…well… Everyone was busy requesting , she was only busy with observing.

More than that, it seemed that they sent a bunch of kids unsupervised in my building requesting money,drinks they wouldn't be able to afford with all their economies or details that they wouldn't comprehend and write down or even be able to spell on paper.

I sigh deeply and rub my forehead with my free hand while gazing at the sunset after I take another small sip from my glass.

She seemed particularly interested when I was working on the helmet. Maybe she'll want to build one with me tomorrow or fix the one I was working on. That will show her , I actually care about her presence here…

Why do I care about her presence? I can have literally anyone in the world in my lab! If I think about it…no. I only want her to finish this stupid project since she's more competent than the others. Yeah , because she's competent and that's it.

“Sir , do you want me to inform the-”

“No, she's fine. She'll come back…” I replied a little too quickly to the A.I. “I need another glass of whiskey before I get some sleep…”

Reader p.o.v

I couldn't bring myself to leave his text on seen. It wasn't something I would do so after around an hour of overthinking I managed to write a neutral response.

Y/N : It's fine. See you tomorrow, Mr. Stark.

Tony : See you tomorrow, Y/N Y/F/N.

I sighed deeply thinking that at least I can still finish this project. I fell asleep late but my alarm woke me up early enough…

“Fuck this feeling…” I cursed pretty loud realizing I still feel awful but I had to keep going, “Only for the sake of this project…now I talk like a parrot when I'm alone in this bedroom…” I facepalmed and started my morning routine.

Once , I entered the lab I made sure to put my phone on silent and I found my eyes fixed on Tony.He wasn't facing me but I knew the A.I already informed him I was coming and the lab's doors were loud enough.

The dark green shirt he was wearing, tight enough to simply show how perfect he could look even from behind. The short shelves were also an advantage as I could let my gaze slowly move from his shoulder blades to his arms and finally to his hands which were only holding a helmet.

“Good morning…” I whispered softly and turned on the camera in video mode.

As I allowed myself to admire his features including his deep brown doe-like eyes which were almost absently staring at the helmet and his hair was a little more stayed than usual, I found myself taking small steps towards him until I could capture the moment with my camera.

“Morning, y/n. Would you like to try working on the helmet with me?” Tony turned around in his chair with his usual grin but his eyes betrayed his tone and lips.

“Yeah,I would like that. Thank you…but how am I supposed to film the process too?” I chuckled softly and pointed to the camera I was still holding.

“Leave that to me.Besides the whole building it's filmed all the time and I have top security.”

“Right. Sorry!” I let out another small chuckle and turned off my camera.

“Have a seat!” Tony stood up quickly and let me sit on his chair then bent slightly on his knee in front of me holding the helmet “So what got you so interested in this metallic piece?”

I sat down a little awkwardly then unconsciously clench my thighs when he moved on his knees then closer. I opened my mouth to say something then closed it again.

“Come on…I won't be upset.” He tried to make the conversation keep going but at the same time he seemed more patient than usual. Or at least he was trying…

“It's stupid but I always wondered why you would pick it so simple when… forgive me for saying this… but you're always trying to show off!”

Tony froze for a few seconds then bursted into laughing “I wasn't expecting that! Alright, we can change the design for this one then.”

“We? You mean-”

“Duh!” Tony rolled his eyes and left his left hand on my knee then kept holding the helmet with his right hand as he got closer to me “This could be your helmet. So how do you want to change it?”

It was weird but I felt more comfortable than I expected. “How about…and I swear you'll laugh again…How about you add some stars? Like a little constellation on the side of the eyes and they can lit up like with some leds when it's night? And you can turn them off in case you have to hide? And and and how about here around the corner of the eyes to place some half moons and even sunshine but like in a minimalist way too to fit the thing you made first…and I'm thinking about something here , on the forehead too.” I started getting too excited and talked a lot faster forgetting the extra respectful things I used to do.

When I was done explaining, I found my free hand gently running through his hair and I quickly moved it away , “Sorry ! I didn't realize and-”

“It's fine,you can keep going. You have gentle hands…and creative ideas. We can work on that design but I want you to try to make it with the A.I or on paper first.” He said barely above a whisper and looked up at me, his eyes had a kind of soft plea and I gently held his chin as I replied “I've seen you enough times to try to work with the A.I but I know I need to use both hands.” I chuckled softly and gently let my thumb move on his jawline then moved my hand away.

“Whatever you like sweetheart, it's your helmet…” Tony said softly then his attitude suddenly changed when I moved my hand away as he stood up abruptly.

“Did I upset you again-” I gulped down and froze for a few seconds.

“Not really. I was thinking about…something… start working on the helmet. I'll be back.” Tony said in his usual tone , smirking then started getting lost in thoughts again as he left the lab.

“Stark,on the phone obviously…what the fuck?!”

I heard his annoyed voice as the lab doors were closing behind him while he answered his phone. I don't know who could annoy him but for sure this time at least it wasn't me…or was it? I'll just…

“A. I, can you please show me a standard plain helmet plan then show me a plain square to create the design we'll later see how we can fit on the standard helmet?”

“Sure.”

I started working on the little constellations and stars , the light yellow mixed with a shimmer purple in fine thin strokes would look so elegant and pretty…

Tony p.o.v

I could swear the world was more than 80% filled with idiots today but y/n wasn't included. I had to fix more shit for like two more hours and when I returned she was still drawing and adding details to the not so plain version of the helmet…

She wasn't facing me and I kept my gaze on her, thinking about how earlier one of the hands she was using to create,was in my hair then on my chin…

I shook my head quickly…I shouldn't think about that. Why would she really even be here for any other reason than this stupid project anyway?

[shai-manahan]

Hollowed Minds Progress Update 5/08/23

Hi! I know I failed at making a progress update last month, so first of all, apologies for that! Things have just been busy tbh and life has been too stressful that at some points I just couldn't write. It's why I've been a bit inactive here as well, and why I've been barely answering the asks I've been receiving.

I cannot report yet how many words I've written for the update so far because I haven't really taken a look at it myself, but I will do so at the end of the month if there's still no confirmed schedule by then. My eye health has just been very consistent at making my life harder as well until recently, and here's hoping I'll at least be able to function properly for a whole month🤞

Some things that will be in the next update:

For Chapter 2's Part 2:

Everything still goes as planned, except now both routes are expected to be fast-paced and action-oriented, though one is still more intense than the other.

This will be a massive one, not because of the word count but because of the variations that will play out. There won't be much issues in arranging the transitions to Chapter 3, so there's at least that, but your choices will matter a lot. So you might have to be careful with them.

One of the routes gets Alonzo actively involved, but please be assured that this doesn't mean you have to romance them. I actually encourage you all to check out both routes once they come because you'll gain more discoveries that way. 👀

Alonzo's route will be so memeworthy, I have to admit. Please try it.

There's an info dump in Chapter 2's Part 1 that I'm not really a fan of, so I'll be moving some of those to this part instead if needed.

For the overall IF:

Alex will now have a set skin tone if a lighter one is chosen for the Ripper. I will discuss this in detail soon, but I just wanted to emphasize that Alex and Ripper's mother are canonically PoC.

You will have options for your Ripper to wear contacts or glasses (or neither ofc).

You'll be able to bring a weapon with you in Chapter 2 depending on your choices so far.

You might remember a section of Chapter 1 where you can choose what your Ripper had been doing for the duration of the five months. I might reduce it to a few, just so I could have them properly recognized in the story.

There will be a couple of changes in the character descriptions in the game's stats page, with plans to make them shorter, too, for easier readability.

I will make sure you'll have saves at the end of this. So please don't be surprised if there'll be more page breaks in the future, as well as more choices (that are still as meaningful.)

In connection to above, I also plan to make the in-game descriptions snappier and easier to read while still maintaining the quality they should have. Your feedback will be very important for this, and this also applies to the beta testers (sorry I've been so silent. I swear I'll get back to you all soon lmao)

Not really too related here, but I also plan to be more consistent with my updates in the future. It's just that my irl schedule is still a huge mess, and it's very hard to be consistent when that happens.

Just a last piece of my mind. Some anons have been very aggressive with harassment the past few months, and I really have no interest for more drama right now. So if you have issues, if you think you can back your own words, send them through a DM or at least turn off anon so we could have a proper conversation.

It's honestly tiring. Being an Asian in this community can already be so tiring, so I am begging people to be mature and responsible with their words. After all, I've repeatedly said that you can always come to me with your concerns or whatever you have against me. As long as we can actually talk about it.

Anyway, that's all, and I hope the week will be good for everyone :) I have a few more things to post on Patreon tomorrow, so if you're a current patron, do look forward to that!

[omentranslates]

Owari no Seraph volume 32 author's afterword english fan translation

Howdy, the long awaited afterword is here. I say as if my volume didn't arrive literally 2 hrs ago. Anyways, thanks for working with me.

Also I included the volume comments this time XP and I translated the back promotional page too just bc I haven't seen anyone else post it yet?? But I don't pay super close attention to the teasers usually so don't come for me if it's just the same text as the last few.

"Afterword

Wow, this is it, the climax! Writing it gets as lonely as it is fun, and it's as fun as it gets lonely, among other things! To everyone who's followed along this long, I'm truly grateful.

From here on out, I'm going to have a new editor. Owari no Seraph has thus far been blessed with nothing but the best and brightest in editors, all full of motivation. From Hosono-san (the sharpest blade in Shueisha) to Kosuge-san (the industry's top Nice Guy) to Kasai-san (who played it straight but turned out to be a total weirdo). And now, exploding onto the scene to take the baton from those three absolute characters, and his name issssss.......Okuyama-saaaaaannnn!!!!!

Now, this new guy in charge is truly amazing, he's got enough motivation to take me aback! He goes, "Kagami-san! We could have the whole world!! Nono, the whole universe!!! From now on just leave it all to meeeeee!!!! There's no doubt we'll do great things together, so just leave it all to me okayyyyyy!!!!" He's been yelling like that since we first met. He brought so much of that heat to the venue we were going to have our first meeting over dinner at and we ended up getting chased out and banned from coming back! It ended up being a whole incident, we really started off with a bang.....is what I'd like to put here, but I'm actually working on this afterword before that aforementioned meeting so I decided to just write my heart. The truth is that we actually haven't met yet! (Say what?)

Everyone, look forward to the next volume, where I tell you all how our introductions went! The one I'm writing now will actually probably pass through my new editor Okuyama-san's hands before we do meet, so I'm kinda scared about how that's gonna go, I'm like shaking (lol). But I'll definitely have a story to tell for next afterword! So on that note, I hope to see you all here again next volume, for those who just wanted to be done reading before it gets deep, I'll say goodbye to you here. I'll see you all next volume!!!!!

So, then, about myself recently. I put to rest some things that have been bothering me as a creator for sooo many years. Yayyyyy!! Wondering how I'm going to live and who I should become. As I'm facing up my works, and also my experiences as a person, as I'm experiencing the lives and deaths of those precious to me, what does it make of me? My characters grow up, am I working hard enough to keep up with them? I suddenly feel like I'm approaching my answers. And wow, what a ride it's been. What a ride being a creator is.

There was a time I was writing so many projects, but I've been rather spending my days studying since encountering those worrisome thoughts. But I've finished my studies and at long last arrived at just being thankful. It took a lot out of me to get here. And having Owari no Seraph publishing monthly, I think it was something that really managed to keep me as a creative grounded through it all. Writing is what I love most of all, I've been able to realize that it's who I am. For that, I am truly grateful to everyone. Yamamoto-san, Furuya-san, every one of my readers, to those in charge here and my editorial staff and everyone else who associates with me and every member of my family, I'm deeply thankful for the one of a kind, precious ties that bring us together in this world.

Which is all to say, I've returned to my extremely prolific writing habits, so I'll be glad if you all read what I've got to say!!!

Huh, I guess that wasn't too heavy afterall. Anyways, everyone, I'll see you next volume! Oh, and the finale of "Densetsu no Yuusha no Densetsu" is also happening after six long years. If any of you have ever read it, I hope you enjoy that too!

So then, see you in volume 33!!!!

Kagami Takaya"

Kagami Sensei's volume comment: "I'm writing so much! Back to the drafts!"

Yamamoto Sensei's volume comment: "We've reached volume 32. Yuuichirou and Mikaela, the Shinoa Squad, Ferid and Crowley, a lot of different stories have really taken off. I hope you're all excited!"

Promo page in the back (text only):

"On the move to make their own dreams come true...

All of these different stories speeding up towards the final battle!?"

The next volume is planned for October 2024

[recurring-polynya]

Writing Update/Art Update

Man, I have been bringing a real "do not feel like doing anything" vibe to this week and I really don't like.

Maybe it's because I finished both a) a long book series that I love that I have been working on re-reading/finishing since November (it's Temeraire) and b) a season-and-a-half long kdrama that Mr. P and I got completely obsessed with and spent hours and hours talking about (Alchemy of Souls). In the second case, I really thought the end of AoS was gonna leave us hanging and I was going to finally be able to write a piece of fanfic that was not Bleach, but it was very satisfying actually, and I haven't even wanted to *read* fanfic for it and I'm very disappointed in myself. (sorry to any other Park Jin/Maidservant Kim supertrash out there, if you even exist, I'm sure you would have loved me waxing rhapsodic about Jin's dreadful cooking)

How about your fanfic, Polynya, how is that going? Well...it could be worse, I guess. I did write some. I finished the scene I had not finished last week and wrote a few more. Then I happened to see a post complaining about a trope that I happened to be using and how it was dumb, and it honestly made me want to throw the whole thing in the garbage, because I am a dumb, sensitive baby! This is why I try really hard to never say negative things online!! Anyway, I will not throw it in the garbage, I will soldier on, but it really harshed my vibe, is what I am saying. Anyway, we are up to 15,545 words, which includes about 200 words of trash (trash is when something is not working and I keep my various attempts there for salvage purposes until I can get it to work), which is a little under 3k of progress for this week, overall not too bad. The story is also now twice as long as it was when I started working on it, so that's kinda nice, too. I've made about 7500 words of progress on it, which is about 1/3 of my way to my goal of 20k.

Speaking of harshing my vibe, my new computer was supposed to come tomorrow, but it was delayed and now will get here in two weeks. Maybe?? Who knows!! I feel like a good 50-75% of anything I order online anymore does not come when the website said it would come, in a way that feels like the website was lying to me to start with. This means that I will have to share my computer with my kids for the next two weeks. It's probably for the best, because I'm sure I've been wasting too much time in front of the computer lately anyway, and maybe this will help me to treat compy-time like some sort of precious commodity. (lol, it probably just means I'll spend more time on my phone, being even less productive)

I started a drawing. It's not going well. Once again, I am soldiering.

I did have an idea to go with one of the Bleach Returns prompts. Remember when I said I was gonna try to go outside my usual bounds a little bit? Ha ha, it was a lie, it's a Renruki story. I haven't started yet, but I'm hoping to give that a go this week and see if I can spin anything out of it.

Anyway, that was my week! It's summer now! Be sure to sign up for your library's summer reading program! I already earned a cool tote bag.

[the-kaedageist]

I'm inconsistent in terms of reflecting on my writing habits, but after such a difficult year, I felt as though it was time. I've been surprised at how much exhaustion, burnout, and war has sapped my creativity and my ability to write, even though it makes total sense. I've been trying to be patient with myself anyway. In accounting for these last couple days of 2023, I've also been trying to appreciate the writing that I did accomplish in the last year.

Regrets

I really had hoped to finish posting the Tusk Love sequel this year, and alas that has not borne fruit, although I am still chugging along on revisions! Hurrah! It's somewhat disheartening, though, when the majority of it was written in February 2022, literally right up until the day the full-scale invasion began. I'm still stuck in the middle of edits for the next chapter - I last opened it in the Dublin airport three weeks ago, and I've been occupied since - but I am hoping to get that out soon. I do have faith I will finish this story…but I don't know how long it will take me.

I still have hopes to eventually finish and post the consecution fic that I also worked so hard on last year. A lot of the story has been jossed by campaign 3 canon (Ludinus is a main character) and I haven't really had the energy to retool it to fit current canon OR make the decision to just release it as-is. The truth of the matter is that I have had much more brain space for writing this year than for editing and making critical decisions about structure/plot/etc. In many ways, those are the things that I need to be able to post things to AO3, and it has meant a serious backlog.

I also struggled to stick to a steady writing routine this year, in part because my life itself was not routine. I traveled frequently and had an unpredictable work schedule. There were also just the very, very bad days that happen sometimes when your beloved former home is going through a calamity. It was so hard to work through that, and to WRITE through that, that many days I just didn't try.

Victories

Despite all these obstacles, I somehow still wrote nearly 85,000 words this year! I'm trying to celebrate those as a victory rather than seeing that number as a defeat. It's a significant decrease from the last two years (2021 I wrote 280,000 and 2022 I wrote 336,000) but it's still 85,000 more words than I used to write before I started my steady writing habit in 2021. That's the equivalent of a whole novel! And I kept up my writing from January to December, even if there were months I fell off completely!

The real thing to celebrate here is the perseverance - when writing got immensely hard, I didn't stop writing. I'm so, so proud of myself for that.

Looking Forward

So what will 2024 bring? If today is any indication, probably more of the same burnout and low word count production. I will continue to update 2 Tusk 2 Love, but likely updates will be just as slow as they were this year. I'm hoping to be able to publish my consecution fic, but I don't know if I will get the energy to do that, and it's still stuck at 50% complete (as opposed to Tusk Love, which is at 90% and just mostly needs rewrites). But these things are hard to predict. If an idea catches me, if suddenly I hyperfocus on writing again, if I get captured by a story once more - that could change.

May 2024 bring us all many things. May it bring us a not-terrible election in the United States. May it bring us victory and peace in Ukraine. May it bring us an end to war and genocide all over the world, especially in Gaza. May it bring us health and prosperity and freedom from the scourge that is covid. And may it bring us all inspiration and creativity for a brilliant future.

[tetrakys]

Hi. How are you? It's been a while since I have written a message here, but I've always had an eye on your profile and I wanted to thank both of you and Chino from the bottom of my heart for giving us the ANE story of Eldarya we all deserved to have, our little hearts are less heartbroken :))

Now I am wondering just as much as the others in the community how new gen candy is gonna be like. 😂😂😂

Truth be told, I am a little worried that no matter if they're gonna try their best or not, there will be a though crowd to impress due to recent events and I don't blame anyone for being skeptic, it will be hard to beat the original MCL that we all love and grew up with. I never tried Moonlight lovers or Uncoven, so IDK why they've never been an interesting subject of interest. Henri's Secret sincerely should have been left like that, only with the first season, the second one was a waste of time and money.

Getting back to New Gen, unfortunately, because of the comparison that will be between this and the previous series, the risk of not being successful is pretty high and I really hope it won't happen. It will be hard for them to have another failed project like Eldarya ended up for example. I never understood why I loved Eldarya TO so much (do you know how to answer that question for yourself?). I discovered it very late, despite MCL, but it still means so much to me and I'm sad that it's probably gonna end this way, with these 20 failed chapters. 💔

To answer my question, maybe because everything just made sense and worked together perfectly: the plot, the characters, the references, the harsher topics which made it real and somehow relatable.

Anyways, keep up with the good work girl and I will be back with a feedback that you will be asking for or not after finishing the story (I love writing, so who cares as long as I'm enjoying myself 😅). Sending love and hugs to you and the community. 🫶

Hello! Lovely to see you 💕 thank you for following me and the kind message, let me answer everything (long post, I'm putting it under the cut).

About New Gen:

You're very right, it's gonna be hard to impress people, I'm fully expecting part of the fandom to claim that the new LIs aren't as good as the old ones for the simple fact that there's no replacing your first love. I'm also expecting some people to hate on the game just because it's Beemoov and they would hate the company even if they found the cure for HIV. But I also thing that the game has the potential to bring a breath of fresh air to the fandom. Lots of people have left and haven't come back even to play Alternate Life, maybe a similar game but with a new story and new characters will make tired people and new people interested. Personally I just love Chino's characters, the way she brings life to them, in her 3 games I've managed to fall in love every single time so I'm fully prepared to do it again. I've never been able to get so attached to other games' characters even if I enjoyed them. I guess at the end of the day it's just a matter of personal preferences, her writing just click with me. Which brings me to Eldarya...

About Eldarya TO/ANE:

Why I loved Eldarya TO? 🤔 Firstly, as I mentioned before, I enjoyed the characters even the secondary ones, even the ones I hated (*cough*Miiko*cough*), I just got attached to them. I also started playing Eldarya late, it was 2018 or 2019, when the game first came out it was in French only and then I never kept up with it. Then I joined Tumblr, saw people playing and decided to play as well. I started with Nevra because he was the one dressed in all black and looked a little like a bad boy, turns out he was the ladies' man route instead, not exactly my type but I am still attached to him as he was my first. While I was playing his route I got super invested in wanting to tame Ezarel, he was such a bish, so I had to make him fall for me. In the end I got over him the moment I won the challenge and I got him lol, I spent the rest of his route trying to get with Lance with no success, obviously. After that I tried Leiftan because he was clearly in my eyes the "main guy" but I'm a shallow person when I play these games and I've never been able to move past his clothes, hair and general fakeness. I love him though, when he's his real daemonic self, just not my perfect type. Then I played Valkyon because he was the last one left and oh boy... I fell for him hard. I still bonk myself for having left him for last. However, I think we all know here that my one true love is his brother and I've spent years trying to have him to end up with... whatever his ANE version is. As I said I love Chino's characters, and since Eldarya was given to another creator you can SEE that the characters aren't the same. I've seen a couple of people upset when I say that Eldarya's characters aren't the same, they claim that the way they are now is a natural consequence of what they lived through those 7 years time lapse and NO I'm sorry I will never be able to agree with this. Game characters' aren't real people, they exist only in the way their creator makes them exist, if the creator changes they are very literally the definition of different people. ANE LIs are what ANE writer and creator see them as, which is not what TO writer and creator saw them as. It's really, quite literally, a different game. Including the way dialogues and events are written. I LOVED TO's darker themes and I loved the potion plot. TO wasn't a perfect game by any means but it made me feel things, now I just feel nothing when I play Eldarya. It makes me really sad. (And I haven't managed to keep playing since episode 14 :( )

About The Dragon's Call:

Thank you for liking our story 💕💕 writing it is cathartic for me, not only because of the game, but also because life has been a bit tough this past year and I'm fully aware Chino is indulging me only because she cares (and also cares about all the players who love Eldarya of course). I want to get to the point where I have Lance's (and Valkyon's) route complete and I can read it whenever I feel like I miss him. Honestly I wish someone else would've written it so I could've just enjoy it as a reader 😂 but at least I hope I'm doing the characters justice. And yes please come back to give me feedback whenever you want I really appreciate it! 💕

Sorry for the loooong rambling, hope to see you around here again 😊

[notasapleasure]

10 favourites meme

I got tagged by @batri-jopa, thank you friend! Funnily enough I had a long draft of my 10 favourite characters written out and ready to go, though I hadn't been tagged, so this just provides the perfect opportunity to post it! Tagging @stripedroseandsketchpads @erinaceina @notfromcold @bellaroles and anyone else who wants to take part.

I put the characters below the cut because it got long as I tried to justify myself, but I thought I'd copy you and also give a top 10 fandoms by way of introduction for the few new followers who have found me :)

Fandoms (counted as media that I've created fanworks for or actively commented on others' fics for) and what I love about them

The Lymond Chronicles aka tiny fandom: I love all the outsider perspective and unreliable narration around the protagonist, but also I love that he isn't perfect and a lot of problems are caused by his failure to trust people/open up. He has his reasons for being like that, but I like a story where it's clear the hero/great man actually needs those around him (even if they also frequently fuck up and misunderstand things) to get to the end of the story. It's the first series I read since LotR that immersed me so thoroughly in its world - an uncompromising, rich and nuanced take on a huge geographical sweep of history.

And Then We Danced: Oh, it's all about taking beautiful traditions that someone says mustn't ever be changed/aren't for you and making them your own, proving there's no ownership over art forms and culture. It's learning about yourself through art and through other people, it's standing up to the bigots and finding community and defining your nationality and traditions anew in more inclusive, vibrant ways. It's also all the pain of not having the chance to find out more about a first love and all the potential for what might happen in the gaps in the narrative.

The Terror (TV series): haha people sure do put themselves in Positions, don't they? I am fascinated by the hubris and the absurdity of the Franklin expedition, and how the show zones in on the isolated men in their boats and puts their values - good and bad, helpful and destructive - under a microscope and watches what happens to them under the stresses of darkness, illness, hunger and hauntings. There is so much love in the show even as everything that can go wrong does go wrong, there are all these little rituals and objects that people use to give meaning to what they're doing.

Star Wars (predominantly Rogue One): Rogue One reminded me of the SW universe I loved as a teenager, the unimportant people who weren't Force sensitive or powerful, but who fought to do the right thing anyway. I will be watching Andor for the same reason (and tagging so my friends who need to block it can block it - and not letting the Mouse have my money for any of it don't worry about that).

Ripper Street: I loved seasons 1, 3, 4 and 5. The less said about 2 the better for me, though I know a lot of people on here are big fans. In my head, there was a much more interesting story lurking beneath season 4 and 5 that I'm always disappointed wasn't drawn out - the immigrant children who were traumatised on their journey to London ('the world comes to London and London becomes the world' <3) and responded in such different ways. And by god I wanted Reid to answer for all he did wrong but I loved that fucked up man and his Victorian hypocrisy. Hmmm when I stop to think about it I really want to re-watch, though maybe only cherry picking the episodes that tie into my alternative narrative theories.

Utopia (C4 series): I have written fic for this! So odd as it may be, this is a fandom. I haven't been able to bring myself to re-watch since the pandemic because yikes, and it's so cruel that it ends as it does, unfinished. But it's so compelling - season 1 is good, season 2 is absolutely heart-rending. Everyone is complex and fascinating and always developing - the games of 3D morality chess going on are wild, and again, love is such an important factor even as everyone fucks up again and again.

Musketeers (BBC series): I never did watch season 3, it all felt far too silly by then. It's on the list because I wrote a couple of fics way back when and it was the first time I'd written fic in well over a decade. Episode 1 had such potential. The cast was so good. But it just...wanted to be a silly BBC series and not a complicated historically-engaged series so I'll simply enjoy drunk and grumpy Tom Burke!Athos, beautiful-haired Jerott-fancast Pasqualino!D'Art, luschious-moustached cunningulus-loving Santiago Cabrera!Aramis and unutterably perfect WHY-HASN'T-HE-BEEN-ALLOWED-TO-MAKE-THAT-DUMAS-FILM-YET Howie Charles!Porthos without trying to engage my brain these days.

Ghosts (BBC series): I haven't written for it, but I had a glorious binge of Captain/Havers fics after seeing that episode and it gave me enormous feelings of The Kids Are All Right because, while a lot of it felt like it was written by quite young fans, there was so much great ND!Captain and acespec!Captain but there was also some excellent what-if-they'd-just boned fic and I loved it all and it was just the kind of delightful escpaist comfort fic I would hope for from the series.

Castlevania: I still haven't watched the last series wtaff!! Hey guess who loves the big burly idiot who's accomplished in battle and hates how much he's become attached to the effete blond bisexual disaster? haha yeah. Trevor my love you're the hottest cartoon character since Fox from Animals of Farthing Wood :p I haven't written fic for it, but I do love me some filthy Trevor/Sypha/Alucard smut :D

Lupin: Again, not one I've written for, but goddd I want all the Lupin/Benjamin fic! Classic 'male protag is kind of a disaster in the life of every woman he interacts with but he's got a best friend who is never really given any background reason for why he helps him out of literally every scrape so I have decided they're better together'. That is all.

Bonus!! Our Flag Means Death: so far only really interacting with fic when my friend writes it, but I love to see how much @notfromcold loves it! All the characters are great and I don't really have anything to add to fandom but I enjoy it a lot :)

Ok now ten favourite charcters. Not in any particular order, I just wonder if putting them side by side and rotating them in the light will make any patterns emerge.

Eta: holy shit. Yeah. There are patterns. There's a lot of 'characters who pour all their emotions directly into someone else to help further the protagonist/narrative journey and end up not getting anything to show for it in the end'. There are also some crazy ladies :')

And while I didn't put Merab or Irakli in the list below, you can see why either would fit my style. I will say though, that while I fell for Merab when I watched ATWD it was seeing people blame Irakli for hurting him and acting like Irakli was just a heartless asshole that made me furiously protective over Irakli and made me want to explore Merab's own worse side too (love himmm but he's not perfect either).

1. Jerott Blyth (Lymond Chronicles)

Loyal, confused, competent and doomed to an unhappy ending. A brilliant second, who will go along with nearly anything if you just explain it to him - he needs trust and leadership and is unfortunately in the shadow of a leader who finds it nearly impossible to trust and share. But when he does!! Oh. My heart. Jerott's never bitter about being second best though, he's just a man who thinks he's simpler than he is, caught up in a world of complicated, fascinating, infuriating people.

2. Faramir (Lotr)

A good man trying to do good who is Never Enough for the person he looks up to. Happy to be a steward not a king, dutiful to the point of self-destruction. Thoughtful, intelligent and cultured, but generous and devoid of bitterness. Like Jyn and Cathy and lots of the others in this list, it's also particularly his relationship with another that I vibe off (I could have put Éowyn as the fave just as easily), and the way he sees in her the sadness he's experienced himself, but he chooses to reach out, to offer her a different perspective, to be kind and never bitter. Love my depressed kids who feel they'll never live up to expectations but find each other and learn to heal together.

3. Harry Goodsir (The Terror TV series)

...a pattern begins to emerge. Another good man who starts off thinking that the rules are there for a good reason, wanting to see the best in everything, believing that mutual benefit can come from a deeply imperialistic, imbalanced encounter. But he's not a pushover - he is content with his position until he feels he isn't respected and he sees his values are not those of his superiors, and then he stands up for his principles and standards. Does he become bitter? I'd say not - he's fuelled by a kind of singular, protective fury in the end, a desire to save whatever about the place can still be saved from the selfish destructiveness of his people.

4. Deborah Goren (Ripper Street)

She puts herself out for others to a point where it's almost unhealthy - and when it becomes so, she draws her boundary and says 'no more', she won't be the homewrecker when there's a chance for Reid to be this honest with Emily still. Again without bitterness or meanness, just in recognition that she can do no more without losing herself.

5. Jyn Erso (Rogue 1)

Closest thing to a protagonist so far on this list, but she's still in an ensemble piece and only effective because of that! I'm tempted to say it's specifically her connection with Cassian that makes her, and him, characters I love so much. They're mirrors, as Diego Luna said in an interview iirc, and it's by seeing each other that they remember their fire and determination to resist the empire (not that Cassian has forgotten this, but the hope he uses as a mantra has been something beyond him personally for a time, and seeing Jyn crawl her way out of the emotional pit she was in reminds him of things he's forgotten imo). Again competent and doomed, I suppose she fits my preference for secondary characters in the sense of the wider universe - she and the rest of the R1 crew are the sacrifice needed in order for the OT to happen and for Leia, Luke and Han to have their stories.

6. Daniel Molloy (IWTV TV series)

Not the protagonist, acts as a sounding board and outside perspective on the things the MC tells themself, doomed in the sense of his illness and age relative to the immortals he's found himself around...he fits the bill! He might be a bit more snarky and bitter than some of the others, but idk, I still don't think bitterness is his predominant trait - he's incisive and observant and wryly competent. I can't wait to find out more about him.

7. Luke Skywalker (Star Wars OT)

Haha this one is a protagonist Jo!! Literally the Hero on his journey!!

Well let me tell you that 10-year-old me, when first exposed to Star Wars, was not as yet familiar with old Joey C and formalist approaches to storytelling. There are a couple of reasons I think it's important to have Luke on this list. 1) I distinctly remember him being the first blorbo I had where I was like 'this trait [earnest optimism fwiw] actually annoys me deeply and yet he is still my fave. Why?' and 2) whatever media I had been consuming and whatever people I was around, it was a fixed idea for me at that point that The Hero Gets The Girl, and the sibling reveal was a '???? *animal turns its head 90 degrees to try to understand* moment. The hero doesn't become a kind of sexless monk-knight who insists fascists can be redeemed because they're dad-shaped! I joke I joke. Vader is far from dad-shaped, he's just dad. Anyway I recall being FASCINATED and vexed by Luke constantly and he was without doubt my favourite of the original trio. Was that because I thought he should be because he's positioned as the hero? Hmm. Maybe. But I remember it being a kind of thing with the people around me that liking Luke was a bit babyish, and Han was the more 'complex' 'grown-up' character. (Insert Always Sunny conspiracy board meme.jpg IT WAS THE SAME THING WITH STEPHEN GATELY OF BOYZONE WHEN I PREFERRED HIM TO RONAN something something cultural infantilisation/desexualisation of queer people (I only learnt later how many people read Luke as queer)).

Anyway, what I'm kind of getting at is the ways in which Luke is an unusual protagonist, and socially, my experience was of people not treating him as an MC because he was 'boring'. But even as a kid I knew that wasn't true and was fascinated by his repeated *decisions* to be good, to believe in the good and again, not to be embittered by what he goes through. Also the loyalty and earnestness came to be favourite aspects.

8. Catherine Earnshaw (Wuthering Heights)

Aaaaah. Uhhh. Make this one fit your theory, bitch! Well, starting simple, WH is once more an ensemble piece about the significant influence a group of people have on each other. Catherine and Heathcliff are mutually significant to each other's journey and arc and emotional development (reverse of the Jyn and Cassian pulling each other out of the mire thing though! Dragging each other down because they can't escape their social circumstances). Cathy doesn't exactly choose to be good, but her choices are motivated by a (misguided, patronising, cowardly) intention to do what she can with her situation (gender) to get ahead in the world and bring Heathcliff with her - because she can't imagine willingly 'lowering' herself to his level, he must rise. Ahh...*chews stalk of grass and surveys crop of awful faves* gives me feelings about Jerott and Marthe's marriage again. Anyway, blah blah, you get the picture - doomed to unhappiness but tries so hard to exert control over her life/others/the narrative anyway.

Also I love a mad lass who dreams of the moors. <3 #teamCathyneverdidanythingwrongever

9. Lucy Snowe (Villette)

Hahahahaha. Speaking of mad lasses! Lucy doesn't believe she's the protagonist. She's plain and weird and not meant to be The One Who Is Loved by the kind, handsome man or the mean, beautiful woman. She believes she's doomed to an unhappy ending - so much so that she even appears to summon one for herself, snatching it from the jaws of happily-ever-after. She's never upset about her position (except when she's so consumed with shame/angst/etc because she realises she let herself believe the handsome man might care for her momentarily), she's an outsider with a wry, cynical view of the people around her, but she does still crave involvement and recognition. Not at all self-aware and 1000x more entertaining for it. Also goes on a furious opium-fuelled rampage through the town, what's not to love?

10. Gudrun Brangwen (Women in Love)

Another mad lass :) Gudrun is a modern lady who thinks she's in control of her life and her sexuality. She realises way too late that she's in fact caught up in Gerald's own experimental, philosophical approach to the modern world (I wanna say like... basically a giant wager between him and Rupert) and she's still subordinate to him and his wants. It's been a long time since I read it, but her angst about the physical side of their relationship always stays with me - when she feels like a glass of wine he's draining for his own strength and she lies awake feeling unsettled and doubtful, while he sleeps it off with a masculine kind of arrogance (sorry, it's a DH Lawrence book, I'm allowed to describe it like that) after they have sex. Also when she punches that cow it's amazing. (I mean the animal, not being rude about another woman. Haha oh Lawrence you funny little man).

--

By and large then, it's secondary characters (my thesis was on minor characters why is this a surprise!) who exist to support the protagonist, or some other character, and whose relationships with the the protagonist/that other character make me feral, because they play a role that is meant to be kind of thankless but without them the protagonist couldn't achieve what they need to achieve/the story couldn't progress as it does. God it literally IS my thesis fml.

[seabreezeraincloud]

First off, happy 2023 and I hope this year will bring wonderful joy for you!😊 Anyway, I saw your tweets about the Lost Lagoon book. I've heard about the book on a couple occasions, but never looked into it. So if it's as bad as you mentioned, then thanks for the warning! I hate when my favorite characters aren't their canon self too. But with that being said, have you also checked out the other Tangled series books/comics yet, and if so, what do you think of them?

Okay, so I wanted to finish it before responding to this ask, which...proved to be rather difficult because large chunks of it are actually pretty boring. Full disclosure, I've always had trouble staying focused while reading - I zone out, I skim paragraphs, I often have to reread sentences multiple times, blah blah blah, I'm a shitty reader - but...this is Tangled. More importantly, this is Tangled prominently featuring Cassandra. My current obsession. All things considered, I should at the very least not be bored by this book. And yet, I found myself not really giving a shit about what was going on until the climax (which...is supposed to be the most exciting part of a story, so at least it achieves that bare minimum). I didn't care about the lagoon, I didn't care about any of the new characters, and I didn't even care about Rapunzel and Cassandra. It felt like a whole lot of nothing. It honest to god gave me flashbacks to elementary school, trying so hard to finish books I didn't really like because I had to take tests on them as part of my grade.

While I don't think it's a downright awful story or anything, the fact that it's working with already-established lore and characters that I practically know like the back of my hand at this point is the main reason I'm so critical of it. There is a slight improvement in the characterizations after the interlude, but that "off" feeling still lingers throughout, especially with scenes that directly contradict what happens in the show. The dialogue comes off as rather stilted half the time, and everyone only loosely resembles their canon selves. Honestly, while I could probably rant on Cassandra's characterization in more depth because she's the character I'm the most passionate about, Rapunzel and Eugene are arguably even more out-of-character than she is. Cassandra's exaggerated introversion is paired with a much less socially stunted Rapunzel who actually reflects on the way she treats Cass and a way too polite and humble Eugene who's actually nice to Cass when he first meets her. It's like their flaws were sanded down to balance out this portrayal of Cassandra being overly whiny and rude like an angsty teenager instead of the socially apt 22-year-old with reasonable reservations she is canonically. Y'know, like a fanfiction.

Honestly though, I am glad I read it. It's not good, but there are some scenes I enjoyed at least a little. Like I said, the climax was generally able to hold my attention. The scene where Rapunzel admits that telling Eugene about Cassandra sneaking her out of the castle was a hurtful thing to do was kinda nice, despite it further hammering in the fact that this story is very much not canon to the series lmao. Are these canonical contradictions in both characterization and plot distracting? Yes. Is it boring at points? Yup. Are there parts of it that are downright stupid? Of course. But at the same time, getting mad at a children's book released back in 2017 near the beginning of the show's run in 2023 as an adult who has been obsessed with the series for almost three years now is a little silly. After all, it did get the gears in my head turning about Tangled and I love thinking about Tangled a little too much.

And that's...believe it or not, the short version of my thoughts lmao. I have a lot more to say, but this post is already a bit long and I haven't even answered your question yet, so I'll stop myself here.

Anyway, regarding other Tangled books: I have seen random bits from various picture books floating around on social media, although I haven't had the means to actually read through any of them in full. They seem...cute, I guess. If anything, they have some really good illustrations that are fun to look at (I mean, I do have one of them as my blog header lol). I plan on giving Vanishing Village a chance eventually to see if it's any better, but I'll probably need to take a break first.

I have read most of the IDW comics, and I think they're pretty fun for what they are. They do represent the characters better than Lost Lagoon does, and while they obviously have no impact on the series, I find them more worthy as soft canon content as they do capture the style and tone pretty well. I think it helps that they generally stick with short, light-hearted adventures without really poking at the larger narrative too much. I enjoy them.

[sinclairesimblr]

I'm feeling the need to vent. I would put this under a cut but I'm writing from my phone and it wont let me, sorry and scroll down if you are not interest in late night personal ramblings.

I'm back from my vacation, it was great, I needed it so much, it's been two years since the last time I traveled, and I love the beach, the sea... It's so relaxing.

Anyway, I'm back and I've been thinking a lot about my life and what I want to do and where I need to focus my energy from now on. So, here goes a bit of my story 👀👀

I graduated from uni and received my degree in February of 2020, everyone knows what happenned the next month 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ I couldn't get a job because of the pandemic. On late April I found out I was pregnant, after having a misscarriage in 2019 it was a shock, because I didn't have a job so had no health insurance, I had to attend the public hospital which was full of covid patients, and on that instance we knew nothing about the virus and everything was so scary.

Being in this situation, after losing a pregnancy before and this one being a risk pregnancy I had to be in bed until I was 5-6 months pregnant, and having to be locked down without being able to see anyone from my family or friends was a huge and hard process.

By December when my baby was born my anxiety got the best of me and I couldn't sleep (I think because I couldn't relax fearing something was going to happen to my baby if I was deep asleep). Literally I was not able to sleep, my body wouldn't let me and the amount of stress and the lack of sleep made my brain collapse, I suffered with panic attacks and depression.

After a few months I was better, and "ready" to get on my feet and start looking for a job, but turns out I couldn't get out of my house. I would have anxiety attacks and needed to run back to my house everytime. I was always afraid something would happen to my baby if I was not with her and I couldn't leave her with anyone.

When she was 6 months I had a job interview and I was ready to take the offer, but a few days later we found out I had covid, so that reinforced the idea that if I went out something bad would happen. My daughter, who was only half a year, had severe symptoms for several days and I felt a lot of guilt.

After that, I never got my taste and smell back, as I've said before a lot of things taste awful for me and that has led me to feel depressed for not being able to enjoy food anymore. I was super tired from being a mother and a housewife 24/7 and was not finding the strenght or motivation to do something to change my situation.

It's been 2 years since I received my degree and I haven't been able to start working because I couldn't bring myself to the outside world again.

Playing Sims 4 has been my escape , all these months it kept me busy, motivated and gave me something to work with and feel somewhat useful. But I can't keep running away from my issues... Mostly because we are at a terrible place economically, we won't be able to survive anymore with only my husband's job

Being away these two weeks, travelling for 1200 km, being out, walking around the city, spending entire days at the beach (thanks to my dad who invited us and paid for everything), made me found myself, kind of, and I realized I am ready to go out to the world now, and so I have began searching for a job again. I won't lie, it scares me so much because it's been so long since I've interacted with people outside my family and closest friends... But I have to get my life back.

In any case, this means I won't have the time to play Sims anymore or post, not only because I'm still a mom, but also I have to start studying again since it's been so long I'm afraid I won't be prepared enough when I start working.

I'm sad to leave like this but, real life is calling me and I have to answer. Maybe once I start working and if I find a balance with everything I could come back, but only time will tell.

I also wanted to say Thank you all for being here when I needed the most. With every like or reblog, I felt like I had a purpose here and like I was doing something "productive" instead of feeling I was just wasting time on a game. So thank you so much for making me feel appreciated and not alone!! 🥰

[ye4gerismarchives]

the bachelorette chp 5, part 2: connie’s proposal

an: hey yall 😛 i'll be posting another q&a before the final elimination chapter comes out. the day after that, i will close the poll, so make good choices! if you wanna change your mind, do it NOW! if you haven't voted, NOW is your chance😁 also, once again, i had to add an extended part to the connie family chapter because the full thing did not upload :( if the extended part helps you change your mind on connie, let me know! also, i really like this chapter because i could properly write a beach story! i went to a beach last week for the very first time and now i won't sound stupid when writing (and i'll never beat around the bush again!) link at the bottom!

tags: fem, black reader

tag list: @taybird

Unlike Jean, Connie did give you an idea of where you were going. He told you to bring some sandals and a light outfit and "not to worry about swimming because I know you don't want to mess up your hair- or makeup". There was a high chance you would be going to the beach where you had your first solo date. It was also the first time you talked about Connie being your husband. He said something about being "wise" about your decision. Now that you think about it, there was a pattern of Connie trying to avoid the fact that you two would have to be in love. You wondered if he'd bring that up again while proposing to you. You wouldn't want to say no to Connie if he did that but the whole friend zone thing is a BIG turnoff (y'all's words, not mine 😉)

But there was a positive side to this maybe? You already knew Connie and he had a higher advantage than Jean. You wouldn't even have to think about building a connection with him because you already had one. But the problem was love. You knew would enter a relationship with Jean, y'all would be lovey-dovey BUT you would need to build a friendship too.

Damn, this was hard. But this would all be over soon. You'd get a big wedding and if you didn't like Connie or Jean, you could move on. It's not like you're signing papers at the televised ceremony.

But anyways 😭 let's starts Connie's date. No time for analysis!

Connie had texted you that he was outside. You grabbed your purse and left the mansion. When you got outside, Connie was leaning on his car, being handsome and all.

"Hey," you greet him. You hold your arms out, hoping for a hug or even a kiss. Connie steps forward leans towards you but his head goes to the side and he's hugging you. Would this guy wait till the possible engagement before getting romantic with you or would the rest of your marriage be like this?

Connie pulls away. "I'm really excited," he says. You want to yell at him right now but the day just started. Maybe he was doing all this to lead you on and make sure you want to fight for him. To be real, this was getting tiring. Connie better be doing something big!

"I'm really excited to see what you have in store for me as well," you reply. Other than seeing Connie's next moves or his proposal, you were excited about the food. You knew Connie could cook, it was in his genes and he did cook for you multiple times throughout the show. As Connie opens the passenger seat for you, you begin to ask him what was on the menu today.

"Well, I've noticed how nauseous you get when under the pressure, so I made egg sandwiches and I packed juices and water. I hope that's alright. When we get engaged, I'll make you a big meal. I promise," Connie says before closing your door.

You thought it was sweet that Connie took note of that. When he got into the driver's seat, you gave him a small smile before opening your mouth. "Thank you, Connie. I really appreciate the fact that you thought about that."

Connie starts the car and begins the drive to the venue. There wasn't much talking done, probably because you would bring up the whole friendship thing. You wanted to get that settled but you also wanted to see what Connie has planned. These two dates weren't just about you saying yes or no but it was a way to see how much Jean and Connie wanted you. If there were problems in the past, they would try and fix them now.

Minutes later you were at the beach (you were right😁). Connie found parking and got out of the car to get the food. You got out on your own. It was weird not having someone rush to your side to open your door. Connie met you on your side of the car and offered you his hand. You can't remember him doing that before (if he has, forgive me yall🧍🏾‍♀️). But his hands felt nice, so you couldn't complain.

The same table from your solo date remained there. "Hey, Connie, just for you, I'll get in the water," you suddenly say. "Huh?! Really?!" he explains. 'Gosh, what a kid,' you think. "You just made this better, y/n! Thank you!" Connie continues. "Just my feet though. I didn't come here to get baptized or anything."

Connie places the picnic basket with all the little things he packed for you. He then proceeds to pull a chair out for you. When you sit, he pulls out one egg sandwich for you. "Juice or water?" Connie asks. "Um, (juice/water)," you reply. He places the drink of your choice in front of you and finally sits down. Connie sets up his food and is ready to dig in until he notices that you haven't touched any of your food.

"Hey...is everything alright? You feel sick?"

You shake your head. "Connie, we need to talk."

Connie sits up slowly. "What's up?"

You liked that Connie was able to see that something was up. This would be useful if you got married.

"How long are you going to friendzone me?"

Connie chokes in his spit. "What?"

"I mean sure we've been lovey-dovey but I still don't feel that romantic connection. If I do say yes to you, I expect us to start acting like a couple. I want you to be my husband, not my friend."

Connie is silent for a minute and then he opens his mouth. "But people who are friends-"

"Oh, shut up. You can be my friend but I want a husband! Please, stop bringing up those statistics and love me!"

You never thought you would be throwing a mini tantrum over a man. Is this who we are? Is this what we represent?

"Come with me," Connie says. You're hesitant to get up until he offers his hand to you. You take it and he pulls you up from the chair.

Connie slowly leads you down the water and you start to freak out mentally. Was he going to drown for telling him off? Connie wasn't that crazy right?

As you walked, you felt yourself slipping out of your shoes. The sand didn't hesitate to fill in the gaps of your toes and tickle your feet. The further you went, the deeper you were. Connie was just walking like it was nothing. You reached the water and Connie came to a stop. For a moment, he stared out into the ocean. You just stared at your feet. The waves pushed the water on your feet causing you to sink more into the sand. This was the world. You were on the edge. You weren't going to live for long, so you had to make the best of it.

"y/n, I hear your cries for love and I'm willing to give it to you. Marry me. I'll work on myself and you'll work on yourself. I promise you, I'll do anything to grow old with you."

Connie’s ring didn’t come in a box. He just pulled it out from his pocket. It was a diamond covered band with a halo shaped sapphire right in the middle.

damn, wonder who y’all gonna choose🤒 LINK

if you’re curious about how these rings look like, here:

connie (left) jean (right , however, his doesn’t match the description i wrote😒)

also, sorry for the white hand. i took a buzzfeed quiz

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

JUSTO - ROZALÉN

This is a "remake" of a "spanishmaravillas" post I made a while ago, that for some reason is glitched. Anyways, I'll copy what it could be saved of the post, and then I'll complete it with everything else under the cut. Enjoy :)

So, for this week’s post, I’m gonna break the rules somewhat, as this song is not in the collaborative playlist @eskamtrash started like the other songs I’ve talked about, but there is a really strong reason for that, I’ll explain it better below, but note that this is not Rozalén’s most famous song by a long shot, and I’ll probably talk about those songs (like “Girasoles”, “La Puerta Violeta” or “Vivir”) in later posts. It’s just that I needed to introduce you guys to Rozalén, and it had to be done with this song. Again, the reasons are below.

Either way, this song in particular also helps me explaining one of the (sadly) biggest things to happen in Spain in the last century, whose aftermath is still present today (I could do a post about the influence of it in Spanish modern society if you want to): the Spanish Civil War.

If I make the post about it I’ll explain it in detail, but in a nutshell, in the early 20th century Spain was under the II Republic. A bunch of people didn’t like it, especially in the military, and in 1936 they did a coûp-de-état that started a Civil War. Basically it was Republicans, that were strongly associated with Communists (they received indirect aid from the USSR and Mexico) vs the Nationalists, led by Mola and Franco,  with a strong fascist ideology (they received direct support from Mussolini and Hitler). For the people of Spain it was just horrible, as now families were teared apart, neighbours attacked other neighbours, death and poverty were at its highest (at the beginning of the 20th century Spain was pretty much a 3rd world country) and it was just a horrible time. In the end, Franco won in 1939, and established a fascist dictatorship that lasted until his death in 1975.

Okay, now that you have a general idea of what it was, let’s take a look at the song and Rozalén:

So, Rozalén. I already made a whole post about her, so I'll try to be brief here. Basically, she's a singer-songwriter (imo she's the most talented songwriter right now in Spain) with songs that tend to have a lot of social commentary in them, she's very vocal about social issues and inclusivity (she brings a sign language interpreter to all her concerts and tv interviews for example), and she's also a proud Manchega and has a lot of traditional Manchego influences in her songs. As for me, she's one of my favorite Spanish singers, and I associate it with my family; my grandmother saw her in a concert Rozalén did in the Castilla-la Mancha House in Madrid (basically a place where Manchegos living in Madrid gather and celebrate their culture) for her first album, and she even has it signed. From there on, my mother and aunt started to love her, then my sister, my cousin, and myself. It's now like our family artist of some sort, we all love her a lot.

This song is based on the real story of Justo, brother of Rozalén's grandmother, who died in the Civil War. Apart from depicting the rawness and cruelty of war, and specially of the Spanish Civil War, the song also focuses on the fact that thousands of Spaniards still haven't been able to give proper burial to their family members, who lie in trenches all over the country (one of those deads in a trench is the famous poet Federico García Lorca, for example). Justo was one of them, but thankfully just before COVID she announced in a concert that they had found him, and that her grandmother could finally put some flowers in her brother's tomb. This song is my favourite of Rozalén, and it's one of the songs that make me cry the most. All Spaniards have stories about the Civil War and how it affected their families, in my case one great-grandfather was sentenced to death row for 10 years, another one died after drinking off a poisoned river, and part of my grandmother's family had to take refuge in Mexico, where they still live.

Here are the translated lyrics, below I'll try to explain everything, if there's anything unclear, please feel free to leave an ask and i'll gladly explain it :)

Calla, no remuevas la herida

Be quiet, don't steer the pain

Llora siempre en silencio

Always cry in silence

No levantes rencores

Do not raise resentments

Que este pueblo es tan pequeño...

Because this town is so small...

Eran otros tiempos

Those were different times

(x2)

Todos le llamaban Justo

Everyone called him Justo

Justo de nombre y de acción

Justo by name and action (1)

El mayor de cinco hermanos

The eldest of five siblings

Elegante, el más prudente

Elegant, the most prudent

De un pueblito de la Sierra del Segura

From a little town in the Segura Mountains (2)

Sastre y leñador de profesión

A tailor and a lumberjack by trade

Se hablaba con la Ascensión

He was seeing Ascensión

Morenita, la de Amalio.

Brunette, Amalio's daughter.

De los pocos que leía

He was one of the few who read

Estudiaba por las noches

He studied at night

En los tres meses de invierno

During the three Winter months

Él cantaba por las calles siempre alegre una canción.

He would always sing in the streets, always happy, a song.

Al final del '38

By the end of '38

Son llamados a la guerra

They are recruited

La generación más joven

The youngest generation

"La Quinta del Biberón"

"The Class of the Feeding Bottle" (3)

Se subieron al camión como si fuera una fiesta

They got on the truck like it was a party

Pero él fue el único que no volvió.

But he was the only one who didn't come back.

Y ahora yo logro oírte cantar

And now I can hear you sing

Se dibuja tu rostro en la armonía

Your face can be seen in the harmony

De este lugar

Of this place

Y ahora yo logro oírte cantar

And now I can hear you sing

Si no curas la herida duele, supura

If you don't heal the wound it hurts, it oozes

No guarda paz

It does not keep peace.

Tras trece días sin noticias,

After thirteen days without any news

La alegría de un segundo

The happiness of a second,

Llega una carta de vuelta.

A letter comes back

Otra de su compañero:

Another one from his partner:

"Fue una bala",

"It was a bullet",

Nos leía el diario

The journal read

"Me quedé con su cuchara,

"I kept his spoon,

La guerrera y el mechero".

his guerrera (?) and his lighter".

La madre Llanos baja gritando por la cuesta

His mother, Llanos (4), is going down the slope yelling

"¡Canallas! ¡Me lo habéis matao!"

"Scoundrels! You have taken him away from me / you have killed him!" (5)

Sin una flor

Without a flower

Sin un adiós

Without a goodbye

La única tumba la de su corazón

The only tomb was the one in his heart.

Pero ahora yo logro oírte cantar

But now I can hear you sing

Se dibuja tu rostro en la armonía

Your face can be seen in the harmony

De este lugar

Of this place

Y ahora yo logro oírte cantar

And now I can hear you sing

Si no curas la herida duele, supura

If you don't heal the wound it hurts, it oozes

No guarda paz

It does not keep peace.

No guarda paz

It does not keep peace.

No guarda paz

It does not keep peace.

No guarda paz

It does not keep peace.

No guarda paz

It does not keep peace.

No guarda paz

It does not keep peace.

No guarda paz

It does not keep peace.

[This final part is the song Justo used to sing, an havanera, very popular in Spain during that time]

"Quiéreme niña, quiéreme niña, quiéreme siempre.

"Love me girl, love me girl, love me always.

Quiéreme tanto, quiéreme tanto, como te quiero.

Love me as much, love me as much, as I love you.

A cambio de esto yo te daré

In return for this I'll give you

La caña dulce, la dulce caña, y el buen café...

The sweet cane, the sweet cane, and the good coffee...

La caña dulce, la dulce caña, y el buen café."

The sweet cane, the sweet cane, and the good coffee."

1. Justo, apart from being a name, is also the word in Spanish for "just", "fair", "right". 2. That town is Rozalén's and Justo's hometown, Letur, in the province of Albacete.

3. The "Quinta del Biberón" was a recruitment during 1938 and 1839 in Republican territories with soldiers from 14 to 18 years old.

4. Llanos is a very popular name in Albacete province, as the Virgen de los Llanos ("Our Lady of the Plains") is the patroness of Albacete, all the women I know with that name are from that province (you can't get much more Manchego that that name!)

5. This phrase is complicated to translate. The original sentence is "me lo habéis matao", it's impossible to translate it literally, without the "me" it means "you have killed him", but that possessive it is often used to imply more emotion and a more personal bond between speaker and the one someone speaks about, that's why I also translated it as "you have taken him away from me", because the idea is the same.

[dontjudgemebymykpoptrash]

Saw A.C.E in Chicago and Atlanta this week and had meet and greet packages for both stops (no I couldn't afford it, yes my bank account overdrafted whoops).

It was ammazingggg. LONG STORY AHEAD.

The question I asked was answered by Chan. Bless his heart he struggled so much to say my name and I was in the second row on the furthest side from him. I stood up and waved so he could see me. They asked how to pronounce my name and BK actually said it perfectly, I was so impressed!

The question that was chosen was "What hobby do you want to try that you haven't tried before". He said Cooking, cause he isn't good at it and Donghun won't eat his food.

When the item signing started, BK would interact with us a lot and the girls in front of us took the liberty of teaching him the phrase "Let's get this bread." His face when they explained that bread = money was priceless. Experiencing that magical moment will live with me forever since he has been saying it nonstop since then.

So since PLT I've decided my "thing" for each autograph I can get is making my dumb pun fans. Eventually I'll just have a wall of these dang things and I'm excited about it. I made one for each my friend and me. Here's mine.

The other thing I prepared for them I kept super secret because I very much wanted to see their reaction to it. I didn't post it publicly anywhere. In line with Choice teasingly referring to Junhee as a lizard much to the delight of the fandom and the rest of A.C.E while hysterically bugging Jun, I couldn't resist... I'd always wanted to give away cute things at concerts but since I'm also an asshole I used my exceptionally mediocre photoshop skills to make

These beauties.

I originally only had 150 to hand out and I was actually worried I wouldn't be able to get rid of them all. I thought people might think they're dumb and not want any. Then due to a print shop mistake I ended up with 650. Whoops.

Before the meet and greet they tell us explicitly we are not allowed to give them anything and if they catch us trying to sneak them something they'll escort us out. My plan to see their reaction was almost destroyed! But I was very graciously given permission to -show- them the card, not give it to them (don't worry. They each got two in their gift boxes).

A.C.E tends to always stand/sit in the same order, so just as I expected, Chan was up first. He understood the pun of my fan! He thought it was really cute and gave such a big reaction I was pleased. Then I showed him the card and it was even bigger. I told him it was Junhee and he full on kicked out a leg and hit the table as he laughed which made me happy. He shook my hand.

Up next was Donghun who was the most quiet. I showed him the card after he signed my fan and he asked who it was. I told him it was Jun and he laughed and probably judged me a lot but then he gave me a high five and interlaced our fingers for a moment so I didn't feel completely embarrassed. The person behind me was so excited they moved onto Donghun before Jun was ready for me so I was waiting in limbo for a few seconds.

Leader Jun in the middle, the reaction I wanted most. He signed my fan and then I put the card down for him to see. He asked who it was, he seemed surprised. I told him it was him and he laughed and tried to deny it. He asked what kind of lizard it was, I told him it was a giant day gecko because I think they're the cutest. I told him I made sure to give them some in their gift box, and that we would see him again in Atlanta. He shook my hand and then the person behind me got excited again lol.

Byeongkwan was next! This boy is an absolute doll okay? The first thing he said to me is that he liked my lipstick (it was green). He signed my fan, then I showed him the card and he was beyond stoked. He laughed so loud and even held it up to Jun pointing it out to everyone. I promised him he got two in his gift box. He asked if I made one of each member and I told him no, but promised him I would next year (me and my big mouth). He held my hand and interlaced fingers and was just so sweet until the person behind me encouraged me on again.

WOW. OKAY. So Sehyoon is my bias af I was VISIBLY SHAKING at this point and as I set my fan down it so obnoxiously tapped the table several times. He tapped his lips and pointed at mine and said "pretty". I thanked him and said it was green for "cactus". I'm not sure if he understood cause he just repeated "cactus" and cocked his head slightly before signing my fan. Then I showed him the card. He asked who it was and I said Jun. He laughed a little and then I told him he was my favorite. He had the quietest lil thank you, then took my hand in both his soft tiny bby hands and I think my brain melted cause I couldnt make eye contact anymore it was too much. Just thinking about it is making my heart hurt. (To be clear, I am in no way special, he held everyone's hand the same way).

After that, we did the pictures! I very shyly wanted to stand between BK and Wow. I didn't do anything special this time around cause the pose I wanted was done by two other people so I just asked for cute cheek pokies. They were having so much fun with people so that inspired my next photo request. As I was walking away from the photo BK told me again that he really liked my lipstick and I was over the moon.

I brought about half the cards with me to hand out hoping I wouldn't have extras and people LOVED THEM? I ran out and felt bad that I didn't bring more!

The concert was AWESOME!! They're so interactive with fans I had several moments with EACH of them, but my favorite is when Wow kicked up a heart and he saw me catch it all goofy instead of letting him hit the woah and he laughed and mimicked me. He also handed me two lollipops (I gave one to my friend) but I'm never gonna eat it.

For the hi touch Chan handed us our photo cards, and hi fived us. They were oddly out of order (chan, Donghun, BK, Wow, Jun). I managed to tell him and Donghun they did amazing, then BK told me AGAIN he still loved my lips. I was so excited I told him "it'll be BLUE next time" and he said "oh!" BUT BY DOING THAT MY DUMBASS MISSED THE CHANCE TO LOOK INTO WOW'S AND JUN'S EYES UGH I WAS SO UPSET AT MYSELF also I got yelled at by security (rightly so).

Next is Atlanta!

I started handing out cards earlier and got worried again cause there were quite a few people that weren't interested at all. Fortunately by the end of the show there were so many people wanting them I offered to do a reprint if necessary. Some people even said they were going through the hi touch holding it up which I LOVED.

Anyway, this time during the Meet and Greet I was in the front row directly in front Byeongkwan and Wow. I WAS NOT OKAY. I kept making eye contact and getting so shy ugh. Byeongkwan recognized me and tapped his lips and winked when he saw me (I was wearing blue lipstick this time). BK got my question (the interpreter said my name perfectly without me needing to tell her, I was so impressed!) I asked what concept they wanted to try that they hadn't tried yet. He said they had already done everything and I cocked my head giving him a disbelieving look. He then admitted that they hadn't done the cutesy boy concept and I lost it- I cant imagine them trying to pull that off.

For future Choice in my position- these boys have ears like BATS okay. There was one time Jun said something like "it's his choice." And I quietly said to the person next to me "no we're choice." And he looked at me and said "You're right! You're all choice!" I was shook.

Wow got asked what his favorite dessert to eat is and he said chocolate anything, then listed things "Chocolate cake. Chocolate ice cream. Chocolate rice." At this point everyone exclaims and he gets his silly lil smile and says "Chocolate fish." And everyone loses it. It was so funny and cute.

Later Jun was asked if he preferred pancakes or waffles and it was a really hard question for him. He said he had been eating more pancakes since coming to the US but he liked both a lot. He just didn't like Chocolate pancakes and I said "cause Wow eats them all?" And wow just very dreamily says "Choco pancakes...." I about died.

BK was asked if he wanted to go to the aquarium and he said he really hoped to. He asked if there were beluga and everyone said yes but I said "But they have WHALE SHARKS!" which imo is the coolest thing about the Georgia aquarium. None of them seemed to know exactly what I meant but they were excited by the concept of the words "whale" and "shark" together. (Spoiler alert: The next day they totally went and got pics with the whale shark).

Finally BK asked where people recommended they eat. Someone suggested sushi at first. I thought it was funny to recommend sushi when visiting the US. BK seemed of the same mindset so chicken and waffles came up and Jun loudly said WAFFLES! To which, Wow said in his same dreamy tone "chocolate waffles" and I looked at him and said "chocolate chicken?" embarrassing the HELL out of myself cause everyone was super grossed out by it and making a scene. I hid but my friend said Wow thought it was funny. I think she was trying to make me feel better.

So the item signing time comes up. My DUMB ASS forgot my album at home so the day before I had gone on a panicked shopping spree and decided on a pot for my cactus.

Chan was up first as usual. He recognized me and asked if I was in Chicago and I said yes! He asked what the pot was and I told him it was for my cactus plant. He was so adorable, while he was signing it he said quietly "grow well." So now it has to. This time he did not do a high five with me.

Next was Donghun. He looked so confused at my pot. I told him it was for my cactus and he just kinda nodded. It was very quiet because I had tried to learn a short phrase for him in korean but I got too nervous and I couldn't say it. I just thanked him. I'll have to keep practicing.

Jun was next and also asked me if I had been in Chicago and thanked me for coming again. I told him it was my last stop but I knew they would keep doing amazing. He asked about the pot and said it was so cute and signed super big. He shook my hand.

BK was next and he complimented my lips again. I asked him if he liked the green or blue better and he said both were good. He asked about the pot and signed it for me, he said it was cute and he liked it. He high fived me when it was time to move on.

WOW. AGAIN. okay so he asked about the pot and I said it was for my cactus and he mimed planting a cactus while looking up at me and I nodded while melting cause he is SO GODDAMN CUTE OKAY. Then while he was signing it I worked up my courage cause I had tried to learn a phrase for him as well BUT I MESSED UP I MESSED UP SO BAD IT WAS BAD OKAY. He was so confused and thank GOD the interpreter was right there and she asked "what are you trying to say" and she helped me say it. I was SO EMBARRASSED I had practiced so much and was saying it SO WELL up until that moment. Once I managed he smiled and said I did good then took my hand and said something which the interpreter translated for me and I just grabbed my heart with my free hand and then had to just cover my face I couldnt handle it. Walking away was hard but staying was harder.

Of course that just put me back in my seat directly in front of him.

Dont judge me, but I was trying to say, "You're so awesome it makes my heart hurt." And his response was "Then I'll prescribe you some medicine" and I KNOW its cheesy and overdone but I wanted that moment once for me so I took my chance. Anyway I looked like a damn fool but it was over.

The last dumb thing I did as the signing went on cause we kept making random eye contact and I got self conscious of always looking away. One of the times Wow and I met eyes I winked and shot finger guns and his eyebrows raised ever so slightly and I wanted to sink into the floor and die so I hid my face again. He looked so surprised like what WAS I THINKING WHY DID I DO THAT AAAAAAAA.

Anyway.

Here's my cute cheap pot!

Next was pictures. This time I had a plan. I asked them to pose ugly with me. They were surprised and asked for clarification twice, BK even asked me in english and I said "yes, ugly faces. If you can! If it's even possible." I wonder if it's the first time theyve ever been requested to do that. Anyway that's gonna be my thing too with the punny fan from now on. They did their best and it's absolutely adorable. Afterward BK walked up to me and wanted to see the pictures I took so I showed him. After he walked away it occured to me how fun and casual that was, that he just came over to look at pics together. I love this boy so much damb.

The atlanta show was amazing but the stage was so high up and far away there was no direct interaction possible. They made up for it with even more interaction! BK and Donghun each danced with me. I made a heart with my friend and Chan winked and laughed cause it looked like she begrudgingly made the heart with me when in reality she just couldnt hear me and couldnt tell what I was asking. Wow played a heart escalating game with me and he won so I made a dumb cute face and he laughed.

At hi touch I was determined not to miss Wow again. The order was the same except Donghun and Chan switched. I told them they did really amazing, a great show! Then BK said "Best lips!" To me and I got so excited but still didnt want to miss Wow, I loudly repeated "Best Lips!" While making eye contact and high fiving this poor man so hard, then for Jun I said "Don't forget!" And he was just so unprepared for me because I was unprepared for me but I WAS SO HYPED UP I LOST MY LAST BRAINCELL ITS STILL IN ATLANTA GUYS ITS GONE FOREVER.

So anyway that was a lot of unnecessary details about my specific adventures with A.C.E and I loved them so much and maybe one person will read this and smile but mostly I just want to try and remember as much detail as possible. I'll add things as I remember if I forgot something. Anyway dont be like me hahahaHAHAHA.

Also highkey if BK or one of the boys ends up with a bold lipstick color for a comeback or promotions in the next year or so I'm taking full credit.

[pixs-pinings]

Me? Interested in Persona 5? No wayyy...

Warning for long post!

I had this written differently before I accidentally closed this tab, but I recovered the infodump well!

So... Yeah, Ribbon! My Persona 5 SI, my Phantom Thief SI. Still want to work on a possible real name- I wanted to go with a continuation of the plot threads I thought of with my P4 si, but... nah. Two separate SIs. Even if P5 si was also from the real world, I want them to be different for. Reasons.

She would awaken in the same place as Makoto- Kaneshiro's palace. I want to slip her in somewhere, and I feel like that case would feel the most... Natural? After futaba, a lot of shit picks up, and, as seen with Haru, can be a bit awkward. (And... Yes. I'm going to try to make that arc...... Not Suck? Maybe keep Morgana self loathing but...)

As for her awakening itself... She and Makoto have similar reasons! Both of them were previously known as prim and proper students, but then awaken to a sense of Justice, and are able to go all out. After looking a bit into myself, I was like "wow Makoto really is sorta like how I would awaken maybe" because like... I want to fight against injustice and hatred in society, but I'm scared because of the law- and, like Makoto, in p5, I could snap past that. Fuck the law, I want to stop people from being HURT by society's ineptitude. Haha...

Also, a reason for the involvement in the first place- Kaneshiro's reach is... far. Its very possible that people in Kosei were affected- and, in fact, judging by Yusuke being able to gather information, they were. So... Say that one of Ribbon's friends were being used... selling her body, perhaps... Hmmm...

Yes, both Makoto and my p5 SI- can I call her just Ribbon for now?- are third year students at their school. Yes, for Ribbon's backstory, I think I want her to be a Kosei student! Maybe there because of an art scholarship- writing??- or maybe a financial education scholarship, or maybe just that whoever her guardians are, biological or not, they sent her to that school with the money they had. But... Third year. I am 19 irl- and she would be 18 during the majority of the story, turning 19 in that february because surprise I'm a February baby.

Oh, yes, and her costume! She's a magical girl. Supposed to be based off of one- I gave her ribbons and feathers and a poofy dress and high boots with thick soles and gloves... Also, her mask is simple, but... I had the base form of a butterfly, and added on some mask details and also feathers. The ribbons on the lower part of her dress are more noticeable, though. Hence, her name of Ribbon. Unless y'all can think of any better...

As for WHY magical girls? Well, she thought magical girls were cool! Yes, this reflects on me! Ribbon watched magical girl shows ever since she was a young child, and always got this idea of fighting off evil by using bright magic! And punches. And kicks. When Ribbon grew older, while she never grew out of it, she tried to keep it to the back of her mind. She always still kept an eye on one of the magical girl shows- hmm... Beauty Cure? Beaucure? (Yes. Based on Precure.) And it was pulled back to the front with her awakening, because that's always the type of stuff she liked believing in- a magical force of good fighting against forces of evil... OUTSIDE OF THE NORMAL FIGHT AGAINST EVIL SOCIETY TRIES TO DO... Yeah. Mhm. Doesn't that seem familiar.

Oh, yes, I'm going to call the SI by the name of Ribbon- still unsure of if I should use Pix or if I should make up a japanese name that fits a bit closer to my real one, haha.

Her role of the team is... Well, sorta like a magical girl? She has light attacks, which does include the instant kill ones later (points @ magical girls and the series having magical attacks be the magical girl's finishing move), but she also can serve another role... Providing Buffs and giving Debuffs. I mean, magical girl power ups over the season is like a buff... And their attacks debuff the enemy... I would be tempted to also give her some healing things... Maybe later. After all, there are buff moves that are like "gain all three buffs at once!" And she'll get those! So maybe she can also be the status healer...? Dunno. Haven't really watched battle gameplay of p5- even if it's fancy, its... Boring to watch. Oops. Battle dynamics...

As for who her Persona is... I haven't thought of it. I haven't even looked into it either. I was thinking... Her first Persona would be probably an ancient magical girl? Pfft. Funny to say it like that. Maybe a fictional magical girl who was definitely outside the bounds of rules. Maybe villain, maybe hero. Her second persona would... be a goddess. Not the goddess of Magic, since. (stares at Ann.) But. A goddess of something important. Light? Hmm.

Her weapon is... A staff. Kinda a stick, but also it IS something to hurt with. Swing it around, smack someone in the side or head... Use it to adjust your position... Twirling it around... A magical girl doesn't use conventional weapons.

Oh, yeah! Here's where I closed out of the tab by accident. I went to go look at something and my phone pulled a trick on me... Anyway, moving on...

Futaba Sakura is 4'11. Ribbon is 5'. Short squad! Ribbon is irritated about getting teased for it, but is indeed 18- during the story, anyway- and just... Hasn't. Grown. Makoto is 5 inches taller. Interesting.

Ribbon's (outside of battle) role is... well, data gathering, and plan pulling. Makoto thinks of the plans, and can, indeed, push them out to the team... But for group planning sessions, Ribbon is the one listening to everyone's suggestions, and then addressing them... and giving them to the leader to mull over, as well. Make sure everyone is heard.

Oh, idea there... Ribbon also, like me, used to be a theater kid! It helped her grow more used to people around her, more used to speaking, and also technical details on things. Even if she isn't all outgoing, she still shows influences of it with analogies she makes sometimes.

(Spoilers for P5... Brief Warning. Skip to next parantheses for past that spoiler gone.)

During the Phantom Thieves' plans to decieve Akechi into believing he is totally fooling them, Ribbon could easily be very important with that acting experience. While coming up with the plan, Ribbon will definitely state theater terms, backstage, actors, scene changes... And she will definitely help the others get more into character. Staring at you, Ann... For a more believable lie... pull forth a truth similar to this situation and keep that tucked next to your heart... say your lines... and then, when that's over, let it go.

(Spoilers over! Yayyy)

So. Have you guessed who i want to f/o yet? If the answer is yes, congrats, you ain't blind to subtext!

Ribbon's costume is definitely on the lighter side! And... Yes, its definitely pink based. Solid pink ribbons... Light, soft pink dress... A mainly pink mask... I do think the feathers are another color, with those little x marker things that most of the feathers belonging to sharing a similar color, though maybe a different shade. I am... Not good with costume design, though. The accents on her mask would be similar colors to it...

Her hair is black. Darker than Makoto's, yes. She is light skinned, with barely a tan forming on her. Her mask actually covers up her obvious freckles on her face! Her arms, however, still have their freckles showing. (Not in the picture, because i forget about my arm freckles a lot...) (Also not in the picture is the frills on her dress but shhhh)

As for her Confidant? Uh... Hmm... To get to know her... Oh! She can show you her art and writing, sort of brush off her achievements with it because haha not as good as Yusuke Kitagawa's more official art... And her confidant would be helping her tap more into her confident side, whether it be for her own personal projects, or even for her just in society in general! While not as bad as Futaba, she still doesn't like approaching other people... And when that happens, and maybe culminates in her verbally cussing at someone who's been pressing her down for a while now and getting them to lay off her thanks to that newfound confidence. Not a Mementos Target, though she does bring that up but brushes it off as 'just a petty bully thing', but something she deals with herself!

.... Oh, Arcana... Uh. I think... you know how the Jester arcana was like... Another version of the Fool? Wait, the Thoth deck doesn't have an alt Priestess...? Fuck. Uh. Congrats, Akira! You get SUPER DUPER PRIESTESS BONUS. ... Please help

For her Confidant Ability.... Probably something to do with her Magical Girl influnces? The first idea I thought of was like... being able to be a temporary "safe" zone- while in the palace, she could... extend her magical girl light out and create a Barrier that prevents the shadows from noticing her. It will always stay a temporary ability, of course, since otherwise would pribably negate difficulty? But the period would become longer as her confidant goes up. The period of time would be extremly cut down during the times of actually stealing a treasure- after all, the palace ruler is EXPECTING the phantom thieves. No amount of magical girl protecting light would hide that expectation... Or. Something like that.

Also, her last skill. Instead of being like... Making the ability of protecting/anti detecting light last practically forever, its a SUPER STRONG BATTLE ABILITY. What is it? Well... uh... Still have to decide. My current idea has to do with a magical girl blast. Like, activate her light ability right as you get into a battle, and that actually does something- fires a big blast as the battle starts and inflicts damage on the enemy... Hmm. That, or she gets a special version of the all out attack that always kills? Has to be her leading the all out attack, though. What do y'all think...?

Oh, speaking of all out attacks! Hers (or her normal one if I go with the second idea in the above paragraph) would have her landing, spinning around, and doing a sharp "v" pose with her fingers, standing tall and with a grin. Think... Uh... Sailor Moon? I looked up some images and a few I found, with the peace sign arm outstretched, fit that mental image. The other hand would be on her hip, and, of course, she would be winking. Ah, girl vibes.

Yes. I am aware that could be similar to Ann. When i thought of it, i was like "hmmm" but then was like "I do that! and also there's a different between a lean and a wink with the peace sign to your chin rather than a stand/slight slouch and a wink and a peace sign held upward rather than close to the body"

Also, her little line in the background would be "light has prevailed!" In like... Bubbly letters? And it looks like light is shining from behind the letters.

Sure, Ribbon would have a romance route with Akira... but I don't consider that canon. It would make sense that he could POSSIBLY fit my type? But. Nah. Not SUPER attached. Pal at most. Speaking from outside here... In game, with the friendship forming? Maybe so. Anyway, not canon.

Oh my god i just realized Queen and Ribbon have like... Opposite sorta aesthetics. Dark Biker to Light Mage.

Anything else I can think of... Oh, a spoilerly thing.

(I don't believe I can think of anything else to say, so for those who want to be unspoiled on certain things in p5, end of post is the next paranthesis. For others...)

For her reaction to the announcement of Akira's "suicide", it would be something like... Well... A hand to her mouth, and a furrow to her brow... but she doesn't sound like she is going to cry. Instead, she goes, "Ah...", like... Realizing. Like a "hmmm" tone instead of one trying to hold back tears. And then like... Ryuji's scene is after that. And those of you who have seen the scene know what the scene is. So like, if the player was confused by Ribbon, Ryuji smacks them with a direct confirmation.

(And... That's it! Sorry for the long post, I am both unsure of if the read more code trick works on mobile anymore and also am unsure of, if it does work, which version of the trick is the correct one. Because i remember two different versions. Fuck.)