#anyway I can't sleep

[brightlotusmoon]

I was reading a fic I had written back in 2017 as part of a series. I got distracted by the TV show in the background, then switched to a new tab to do some research because it was a documentary about the rise of POC TV in the 1990s. I then flipped channels to a familiar adult cartoon that I already had watched a hundred times. Then I went back to reading the fic. And then I forgot that I wrote it and wondered who the hell thought exactly like me about these characters, when was the author going to update the series because oh damn the author oh damn.

Like, oh damn I have to write the stuff I want in order to read it.

Then again, a lot more people in the fandom have been writing what I want to read. And some of them told me it's because of me and my fics, the stuff I wrote back then. Like. Oh.

And now I'm sitting here with multiple unfinished chapters begging one of them to just tell me what the story wants. Otherwise I'm just going to throw angst at it.

[thevagueambition]

the below poem stanza is sometimes bandied about without context – or rather, a line or two of it is, in a sort of proverb-y way. Learning that it's from an 1827 poem praising Ludvig Holberg really brings a lot of interesting historical context to it

Hver Mand, som med Kløgt gik i Lærdom til Bund

Latin paa Papiret kun malte

Med Fruerne Fransk, og Tydsk med sin Hund,

Og Dansk med sin Tjener han talte.

in English, approximately:

Every man who wisely made himself learned

Wrote only in Latin

Spoke French with the ladies and German with his dog

And Danish with his servant

[pseudophan]

anthony is dead: the funeral roast (paid content)

[tittiedshrek]

[flapjackoctolover]

Found out the two (very weird) defense mechanisms I use, lol.

[deafening-radio-silence]

I think that Dr. Christina "I was an excellent soldier" Raynor needs to deal with some personal things before she's anyone's therapist, because she strong-armed more of Bucky's autonomy away from him than Zemo did within the series.

[mimjandoodlesstuff]

I was left with some thoughts about @indieyuugure's human Donnie

So I drew him :)

Part 2, Leo Part 3, Raph and Mikey

[bonafidehero]

Okay does Mulder not have a bed/bedroom or is he just a perpetual fall-asleep-on-the-couch guy??

[chayannesegg]

might be worth noting that tubbo got lore today because he made it canon he warped back from the boat.

i think this was confusing bc he wasn't sure initially how to play it (he is not a lore guy by trade we all know this), and waffled back and forth with it (with fun bits like "it's tuesday" or "it's a time rift"), but he definitely did make it canon.

he has the story: the boat didn't leave, he had his warpstone. he knew they would just steal him back, like they did the first time.

he has the reason: he desperately needed to see sunny before he left; couldn't sit idly by

and he made it clear that's what he wants to have happened. he told his chat to stop "-rp point"-ing him about it multiple times bc he's trying to make it canon (and told fit the same when he came back post-ghost bit).

he also asked sunny's admin whether she wanted their interactions to be filler or canon and she chose canon

plus he had a canon interaction with forever explaining it and asking him to watch over his daughter

and he and sunny built things and interacted with each other based specifically off the info he was kidnapped, that he will have to go, and that they both knew it was coming

so while you may have to ignore or recontextualize some of the goofier interactions when he initially came back (phil/etoiles/fit stuff esp), tubbo did come back, the code attack did happen, it's already been fit into the lore, and i don't doubt sunny is going to tell fit about it this week!!

[iersei]

you were created as a joke.

you were never meant to be more than that.

and yet, a boy took the hand you offered. and he kept holding on.

you were never meant to have a personality.

so you put on different masks. different roles. were any of them really you? did you ever know who you were? did you ever know what you still meant to them?

you were never meant to be someone people got upset over.

so why does he cry so loudly over your body when you are gone?

you were never meant to be someone who was loved like this.

so why were your last words all about how you liked him too?

you were never meant for more than high school.

that's how you were made, weren't you? you've only lived as that. are you allowed to grow into something more? are you allowed to grow up at all?

you were never meant to have a soul.

and yet, they all took your hand. and you all became one soul before the infinite cosmos.

that saved your life once.

could it save you again?

you were never meant to be here.

but your absence leaves a gaping hole where your heart used to be.

they miss you.

you were a joke.

you were a joke that turned into something more. you were someone who was loved. even if you never knew how to reciprocate that until you were at death's door.

where did you go when you left the stage?

is the love you never thought you could have enough to bring you back?

[randompiggy]

Marta Eterna 💚

[miguxadraws]

AYO PLEASE DRAW THAT LAST ANON'S JAX RATATOUILLE THING

he's not ready for this kind of power

[starflungwaddledee]

did you know that coo is canonically lonely? {shipaganza prompt by @veveisveryuncool}

[a-s-levynn]

"Wash me clean again before I pull myself beneath the waves" A Series of Small Offerings - III/11 - day31

[evilkaeya]

I think it fits them

[pharawee]

Welcome to the second part of my Pit Babe novel commentary aka "hey this isn't so ba---wait where's Babe's sudden daddy kink even coming from??"

And I try (oh my god do I try). 🤡

I'm now at chapter 10, trying to pace myself because the (auto-translated) translation I'm reading is apparently a WIP. I'm on the edge of my seat. The plot is beginning to thicken.

Previously, Charlie was being sus and Babe was catching feelings, but most importantly there was a lot of pwp and very little racing.

Now there's more racing. Babe even brings Charlie (he still has to wear a mask and a hat) but gets too distracted by his presence (he's apparently addicting enough to kiss through the mask) and promptly forgets to check his car before the race (even though Charlie warns him against it but such is the power of scent - or lack of scent in this case. I don't even know anymore - neither does Babe but at some point Charlie states that's he's now in an alpha rut which I suppose means exactly what it says on the tin).

But, oh no! Babe runs into trouble during the race. He loses the lead and his car gets increasingly difficult to control until it crashes and bursts into flames. But it's okay, Babe jumps out of the driving car just in the nick of time (have you ever seen a supercar outfitted for racing? It's difficult enough to climb into one - funny how I'm apparently okay with omegaverse shenanigans but I draw the line at wonky motorsports physics 🤣).

Anyway, the track marshals are doing a really shit job because somehow they 1. let Charlie on the track to singlehandedly try and rescue Babe and 2. they also completely miss that Babe has literally jumped ship car and is lying on the track. He ends up with a broken wrist and a sprained knee (or was it the other way around? anyway, he's wearing several casts) which means he won't be able to finish the season and lose the title of King (all because he was too horny to check his car... but yeah also apparently it was sabotage  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ).

So much for the racing part.

Babe needs weeks to heal so naturally he needs Charlie to pamper and feed him and dick him down several times a day but what else is new. No offence to the the dicking down part but ugh I hate this trope. Maybe it's just because I dislike the dynamics but I don't like the way Babe is taking on more and more cliché omega traits. If I have to read one more time about how much smaller he is (or about his "rounded" hips... are you ok google translate?)...

Oh, and btw. There are omegas in this! Charlie gets flirted at by one (which Babe absolutely hates) and he does have a scent and all. Later, when Charlie is busy being extremely sus again he meets up with a childhood friend, Jeff (Pon's character in the series is called Jeff - oh. oh no...), and if I'm not mistaken he's an omega as well. Jeff cautions Charlie against being with Babe and displeasing his father (which also seems to be Jeff's father? Dude sure has a lots of adoptive kids...) but Charlie argues that he knows what he's doing and he doesn't want to stop anyway.

Later on he tells the exact same thing to his (adoptive?) father, and why do I get the feeling that this might be the same father Babe mentioned earlier when he was telling a feverish Charlie a story to get him to sleep:

In his story, Babe mentions how when he was very small he used to go hungry every day because his mum was out of the picture and his father didn't even make enough money bring food to the table. One day the hunger was so bad that he passed out and woke up in the hospital where a stranger told him he'd be his new family. With little choice in the matter, Babe accepted and went on to spend the rest of his childhood well-cared for and in elite schools etc. That is, until he turned (presumably...) 18 and discovered that his father didn't adopt him out of the kindness of his heart but for ulterior motives that Babe doesn't explain any further because at that point Charlie has fallen asleep.

So yeah, what are the odds that Babe's "father" and Charlie's father are the same person (no spoilers, please)? Because if so then... that's disturbing, especially since Charlie's father seems to want Charlie to lure Babe back home. I mean, Charlie seems to have his own plans but it's not like his father throws him out after their secret meeting. Sus, very sus.

Meanwhile, Babe is slowly losing his heightened senses (the novel doesn't mention it yet but I'm pretty sure this is Charlie's doing) but he doesn't seem to mind because he's too busy falling in love. There's a lovely scene where Charlie and he spend the night stargazing, and this is when Babe realises that something's different because usually his heart only beats this fast when he thinks about racing (lmao).

Cue to them not having sex for a week because Babe feels like he's going crazy.

Meanwhile, it's been decided that Charlie will finish Babe's racing season for him because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and I'm sure he'll win the title too because he's Charlie, alphaest of alphas. Or something.

So one night Babe officially introduces him to the rest of team X-Hunter (and curiously Sonic and North seem to be racers in the novel as well) but things go awry when Babe is too busy fooling around with Way (no you cannot be affectionate with a male friend in a BL novel it is forbidden!!). Charlie and Babe argue and proceed to ignore each other for the rest of the night until they make up (and out) during the official X-Hunter sleepover (with Way and another poor dude sleeping in the same room).

They're polite enough to seek out the indoor pool (this isn't even their house - have you no shame?) and talk it out. And by talk it out I mean there's an inappropriate amount of daddy-calling and Little Mermaid jokes. This is where Charlie claims Babe. Yes, there's knotting (I think? like I said, I'm not axactly an expert and auto-translate is a bit vague, bless its little AI heart). Charlie threatens (I'm sure it's all meant very lovingly 🤡) to impregnate Babe if there's no other way to show others that he's his. To which Babe replies that that's impossible anway.

It's impossible, right? Right??