#i might make a post later about how the waves evolved because there was a point they looked so sad

[a-s-levynn]

"Wash me clean again before I pull myself beneath the waves" A Series of Small Offerings - III/11 - day31

[leportraitducadavre]

Naruto and the "hero" concept

Volumes Covered: 1-27 (first part)

How Naruto as a character interacts with those in power, particularly those who represent the position he wants to achieve (Hokage) is an interesting discussion to have. However, since the manga is particularly long, such debate would inevitably become far too extensive, so I’ve decided to indulge in some investigation on the matter during the first part of the manga. The driven question: How does Naruto interact with the notion of Hero and how (or if) does evolve through his development?

Be warned, this is mostly an incredibly organized rambling of mine. Many things might not make enough sense to you and some specific moments could have been interpreted differently by some: This is a specific reading of the canonical material, not definitive facts.

Long post!

Wave Arc

“If something is precious to you, you need to protect it with all the strength you’ve got, even at the risk of your own life” (x)

Such words were spoken by Kaiza, Inari’s father and the first character to introduce in a deep manner the idea of what being a “hero” entails. These words, plus Kaiza’s sacrifice to save his son (and the town’s citizens), are both glorified by the narrative as something Naruto should aspire to want and become (even if later on the own narrative twists itself and destroys its own “heroic” concept when justifying the UCM and Tobirama’s Curse of Hatred).

I don’t think, and the manga in itself quite literally encourages to do so, that Naruto really understands the link between Inari and the concept of “hero” he possesses (I'm making no judgment since he uses his own conception to approach the subject). To the small civilian boy, the word hero was meant to categorize a person that protects what and whom they love even at the cost of their life. It’s pretty much highlighted here when Inari finally understands what Kaiza was trying to convey when they first met now that he formed an emotional connection with him (father-son). When Kaiza is killed -here-, Inari’s pain makes him turn his sadness into anger, and he gives sense to that feeling by accusing Kaiza of abandoning him and, therefore, taking away that “hero” status (he’s not there to protect him as a hero would). 

Upon hearing this, Naruto’s response “I’m going to show Inari that there are still heroes in the world!” (here) not only twists the narrative to introduce himself into an issue he wasn’t asked to be part of (furthermore, Tazuna had no right to tell) but also, realistically: it fixes absolutely nothing. Here’s the thing: Heroes, to Inari, are people emotionally invested with what or those they’re saving -it doesn’t have to do exclusively with being physically capable of doing so, but about wanting to because of the deep connection between them. Kaiza didn’t fail as a hero because he couldn’t defeat Gato, but because he “disappeared” (died). 

Naruto rescuing Inari should (from a narrative point of view, at least for now), not change Inari’s perspective because they have no relationship and because Naruto is pretty much paid to carry out a duty (even if canonically the mission Tazuna paid for doesn’t cover the costs of what Naruto is about to do, Inari knows nothing about it, there’s no panel that tells us otherwise).

So why is there a dichotomy between Naruto’s perception of a hero and Inari’s? In the very first chapter of the manga, there’s a direct link between the “Hero” concept and the “Hokage” title. Naruto’s wish to become a hero (or more specifically, The Hero), is a direct correlation to the mighty leader of Konohagakure, whom Naruto aspires to be. 

[The importance of the “hero” concept is mentioned again in chapter 8, where Naruto learns that there are shinobi who are considered “heroes” because they died for the village (sacrificed their life for Konoha’s benefit) and, in exchange, were rewarded with their name upon a stone.] 

However, as I presented before, Naruto’s way of approaching the subject has more to do with being physically able to save someone (for him, a hero is someone who is powerful enough to help, like how the Hokage is considered the strongest shinobi of the village), than understanding what the concept entails for Inari.

During Naruto and Haku’s conversation, the MC’s approach to the entire concept is finally addressed (x), Haku asks him if he has someone precious to fight for (x), and after hearing Naruto’s response, he tells him that people become stronger when fighting to protect someone they care for (x). It’s just then that Naruto relates that idea to Iruka (specifically Iruka sacrificing for him and his own decision to protect Iruka against Mizuki), to Kaiza’s story, and to Kakashi’s phrase: “I’ll never let my comrades die” (here). 

He understands upon speaking with Haku the importance of a bond and, therefore, of having an emotional reason (person, place) to fight for (and become stronger), yet this understanding doesn’t necessarily contradict Naruto’s previous belief. He still wants to prove a point and earn the recognition of the village that ostracized him by becoming the strongest ninja; whilst the notion that both Kaiza, Inari, and Haku preach does not necessarily include any sort of acknowledgment for their actions (Kaiza was literally used as an example of what happens to those who defy Gato while Haku establishes himself as a tool at Zabuza’s disposal -both are okay with that for their wants rested elsewhere). 

In the next chapter, 22, we have an important interaction: On this page, Inari, mad at Naruto, screams at him that not only he won’t be able to win against Gato’s tugs, but also he accuses him of speaking of a subject he has no idea of, being foreign, and (assuming) Naruto has experienced nothing of what he had to go through. 

As readers, we know that Naruto has been mistreated by his own people, but Inari’s point is understandable: Naruto knows nothing about Wave other than what was told to him, in the same manner, he puts himself in the position of becoming the island (Inari’s) hero: He wants the help he provides -or he’s about to provide, to be recognized, for the Hokage is Konoha’s hero, and his existence, relevance, and power are acknowledged. [Perhaps calling it Naruto’s idea of a hero is misplaced, for it could easily be labeled as Konoha’s idea of a hero].

After an emotional manipulation at the hands of Kakashi (yes, Naruto’s words also influenced the little boy, but he lacked the experience to understand what he was doing), Inari starts to respect Naruto and acts “heroically”, to which Naruto responds by displaying a better attitude towards him. I’ve spoken a little bit about it before it but there’s no harm in repetition: Shinobi’s cultural, economic, political, and social spheres are different from civilians’ -in that sense when in a non-shinobi space, ninjas have no say in civilian customs or actions; yet none of them (I’m including Kakashi and somewhat forgiving Naruto, giving his young age and the fact that this is the first time he ever went outside Konoha) are able to detach their world-view from their specific ninja cultural and political rules. Inari would have never obtained Naruto’s respect hadn’t been because he performed the “heroic” thing (the shinobi thing, which endangered his life for he had no tools to perform in the same manner Naruto or Kakashi did). Furthermore, his relationship with Naruto hasn’t changed, they had no interaction after their fight, but because Inari is suddenly brave enough to stand up for his mom instead of escaping to ensure his safety, their relationship is suddenly fixed.

[Just an idea: perhaps Naruto did approach Inari with the idea of apologizing before he saw him defending his mother -perhaps Haku’s words did modify his perspective, but that doesn’t change the fact that Inari was coerced to perform the “shinobi” thing by Kakashi].

There’s nothing in the narrative that suggests Inari was actually a coward before, the only reason why he didn’t jump to save his dog was that he couldn’t swim. One instance of being afraid to move -because of genuine fear and the knowledge of a more than likely demise-, does not define his entire person, plus, he was even younger, if during Wave Arc he was eight, then it means he back in the flashback that Tazuna tells, he was five-years-old. It would have been slightly more understandable if Inari was born and raised in a ninja village, but for a civilian kid? Why such pressure? Again, the problem isn’t with Naruto exactly, he judges other people with the same bar with which he was/is judged (let’s remember, back in chapter 10, Kakashi shames Naruto when he froze during the attack of Kiri ninjas, despite that being the first time he was attacked in such degree), but we, the readers, are given the tools to question the exchange, not simply nod alongside everything the characters say. 

In the end, Naruto apologizes to Inari for calling him a baby, again, after he displayed bravery (which, I admit, was kind of greatly staged), and Chapter 23 ends with Naruto stating “man, this ‘hero’ thing is a lot of work”. Inari recognizes Naruto’s strength first, not his heroic capacity, until their “bonding” moment.

Naruto still doesn’t exactly question the central issue presented before: the main objective of becoming a hero isn’t about getting recognition (his current belief), but about protecting those he loves. The narrative tries to make a foreshadowing of what might come: Naruto learning that him being a ninja on duty -a person that gets paid to either protect or kill, immediately clashes against what a hero should be (Kaiza’s definition); his current belief is put there only to be questioned, but that questioning ends up nowhere, after the first part (and I dare to say Wave Arc) it disappears (at least for Naruto, since Sasuke seems to be the one who carries this notion afterward). 

Naruto’s speech to Zabuza (here and here) about the way shinobi apparently need to be emotionless in order to follow through with a mission or become strong is a direct contradiction to the rule introduced by Sakura herself. The way Kishimoto wrote those scenes means that the clash of ideals is on purpose, even Zabuza admits that shinobi are human beings and they aren’t able to completely erase their feelings (yes, that also contradicts the Curse of Hatred that is later on introduced). 

The Hokage is a person that -as stated by Ebisu, “knows and understands the eight principles that are the cornerstones of all the knowledge of the shinobi”, furthermore, Hiruzen (a direct example of who Naruto wants to become), expects the future shinobi to know and follow a number of rules, it’s are a requirement to pass the initial course. This is the first time Naruto questions the basis of the shinobi’s belief system (being as heartless as Zabuza = being strong = becoming a hero = becoming Hokage).

In chapter 33, we are able to see Zabuza and Haku’s funeral, which introduces the idea of Naruto growing up to question the current system: Here and here. We are shown the mentality of “shinobis are tools” being disputed by the main trio -Kakashi, their sensei, admits that the value put on ninjas’ lives by the present mindset makes him uncomfortable, yet, he does nothing about it. We are to believe that this new generation of shinobi (with Naruto at the front) will finally question and take action against that belief; however, we are also shown how shinobi who go against the system are considered rogue (Zabuza), so Naruto will have to either reach power in order to change things (fight from within -with all the issues it brings) or fight against the system from the outside, meaning, becoming a missing-nin.

However, by the end of the Wave Arc, Naruto is starting to build up a reputation (the main goal he was introduced with, which makes all the debate presented before absolutely irrelevant for he changed nothing of his views and got the reward he expected), the bridge is named after him (because I guess he inspired Inari who was in charge to name the bridge, instead of naming it after Tazuna, who built it, or Kaiza, to give him a “post-mortem recognition”). The emotional connection between Naruto and Inari was made after Naruto saved him, yet it can’t be said that it isn’t significant. Kakashi convinced Inari to “like” Naruto (directly), and Haku convinced Naruto to “like” Inari (indirectly) -their relationship was made by other people. 

Chünin Exams

When already inside the Chünin Exams’ arc, more specifically, chapter 39, we have an interesting occurrence: Naruto, having put on the over-confident mask he often displays to portray a confidence he doesn’t exactly feels, yells that no one will beat him. Now, that in itself isn’t truly remarkable, yet the Otogakure’s team takes it as an insult to their village. It’s intriguing to think why they take what seems to be an innocent statement with such a negative value because of the village Naruto represents (his Hitai Ate is on his forehead, where everyone can see). 

This interpretation, however, is introducing something of a bigger scale: The resentment of smaller villages towards bigger ones like Konoha -we have yet to know their reasoning, but since we already know Konoha is one (if not the) strongest village, the wording in which the Otogakure’s team presents the conflict is to be noted. Naruto never mentioned the places of precedence of those in the room -he even included the shinobi from his own village (when facing the room, he’s also looking at Lee, Neji, and Tenten) yet the Oto team takes it personally because they can see his headband: they know things that the reader has yet to learn, therefore, Naruto seemingly innocent statement automatically translates onto Konoha shinobi insulting other villages’ capacities.

[It’s also to be noted that Otogakure is ruled by Orochimaru, who deserted Konoha and wasn’t really a fan of his former village, their distaste for Konoha as a village and Naruto as a shinobi might have to do with their commander’s personal feelings if they know about Orochimaru’s past]. 

By the end of the first exam (chapter 43) - Ibiki asks the tenth question, Naruto jumps before Sakura can raise her hand and forfeit (she did so because she didn’t want Naruto to fail and be stuck forever as a Gënin should he answer incorrectly) while yelling that he won’t quit and he’ll become Hokage even if they doom him to be Gënin forever (Kishimoto actually made this to be true: he stayed as a gënin until the very end of the manga). His character is particularly marked by his necessity to go against those who underestimate him, to the point where he sets all of his interactions under that premise until proven wrong; that is, he usually assumes people are belittling him even if they aren’t particularly doing so. 

In Chapter 48, after being attacked by Orochimaru disguised as a Grass ninja, Sasuke decides that the best course of action in order to survive is giving him the Heaven Scroll they have so he would leave. Up until then, Orochimaru has overpowered both him and Sakura yet, Naruto intercepts the exchange and punches Sasuke, calling him a “fake”, because the real Sasuke isn’t a coward. Now, Naruto knows nothing of what both Sasuke and Sakura experienced, so perhaps he truly believes that it isn’t a fight harsh enough for them not to overcome (they have fought against Haku and Zabuza and they won); but what interests me is the weight and value that Naruto seems to put over the notion of “brave” and its counterpart “coward” since he’s done the exact same judgment when in Wave (to Inari), and it was an assessment made towards him by both Sasuke and Kakashi. 

Kishimoto even acknowledges this parallelism through this panel: here. Even the next chapter (49), it’s titled “Coward” [After Orochimaru attacks Naruto, Sakura helps him and yells at Sasuke (who has been frozen since Naruto saved him) - at her intervention, he immediately remembers Itachi’s words which are a direct reflection of Naruto’s words to Sasuke].

Up to this point, for Naruto, a Hero is someone strong enough to help others (I assume since he spoke with Haku that Naruto understood the “fighting for what/who you love” phrase, even if that is incredibly manipulated and he subscribed to the Will of Fire, where the love he possesses for Iruka and his friends translates into him caring for Konoha as a symbol), someone who is acknowledged by others because of their sacrifices/capacities and, now,someone brave enough to jump into dangerous situations.

After the end of the Second Stage of the Chünin Exams, we have a thought-provoking interaction between Iruka and Naruto. There, Iruka advises the tree cell team not to overexert themselves during the next round, to which Naruto replies with -basically, “since I’ve got the Hitai-ate (that you gave me), I stopped being a kid and became a full-fledged shinobi” (x and x). I have pointed this out in some other posts but there’s no harm to reiterate: the pass from childhood to adult -unlike in the civilian society that follows different rules, is marked by the bestowal of the headband. That is, adulthood has little to do with age and more to do with rank. With that mentality, Naruto’s behavior towards Inari is slightly more understandable, since his age is not an excuse to behave like a “child”. Yet, again, where Naruto (and Kakashi) fails is in understanding that Inari is not governed by the same principles that he is.

In the introduction of the preliminary rounds, we have Hiruzen’s speech about the exams and their true goal, I won’t put here everything that they encompass but I will mention the so-called friendship Hiruzen preached about and what will ultimately become Naruto’s own conception of the term: The “friendship” that Hiruzen often speaks about (and many fans still take in the strict term of the word), is more about preserving the balance in between the villages at the risk of people’s lives. That’s the type of friendship that Naruto will end up defending -to keep the balance between the greater villages, massacres, discrimination, and even wars (and war-like scenarios, such as the Chünin Exams), are permitted, because balance equals friendship.

The Hero (The Hokage) keeps the balance. If they feel Konoha is losing power, they’ll start a war, if they sense a small village or a petit organization jeopardizes the position of the Big Five, they obliterate them -I wish more people would read that specific panel: the system isn’t supposed to be good nor fair to everyone, the parameters to be “good” or “evil” are completely different from our own, we are speaking of military, corrupt and powerful states that thrive on wars, they -by our own standards- could never be “good” even at its most basic level. Allow me to copy-paste a response a gave about Jiraiya’s character to illustrate this point:

“We can’t separate his characterization from the universe he was created for (which is not to say we can’t judge him based on our own standards, but calling him a hypocrite would only be factual if he counters his own definition of peace, which he doesn’t).

Who is he killing? People that aren’t from Konoha nor loyal to it, which instantly justifies his actions. Why is he killing? Because it will benefit his village in the short and/or long term (...) The problem in itself isn’t Jiraiya not aligning with our views -he doesn’t have to (furthermore, the narrative doesn’t have to either, which is the apparatus that validates him inside the story, specifically), is the fandom that puts him as a paragon of morality -using him to put other character views/behaviors down, (...) How come Jiraiya is singled out as ‘the’ hypocrite when the system he defends and on which he based his entire views is nothing but hypocritical? You can’t take any other Will of Fire believer/Shinobi system supporter and spare them from the same criticism. If the system he aligns with is nothing but paradoxical (state-sanctioned genocide to “maintain peace” -rather, keep specific people in power- is only one of the most notorious actions perceived narratively as necessary), he has no other choice but to become paradoxical as well -otherwise, he’ll become a traitor.” (x)

However, in chapter 94, we have this interesting piece of interaction, where Hiruzen tells the future generation of shinobi that they are free to live and die as they please (we readers are aware that this, given Konoha’s parameters of both freedom and death, is not necessarily true), but they need to protect those who “are precious to them” (Kaiza’s notion of a hero), alongside this Hiruzen, as the Hokage, claims that he’ll protect everyone in the village -because all of them are equally precious to him. This particular method of emotional manipulation is applied to the young minds of future soldiers, and the truth about the real implication of what is asked of them to do would not come to them until much later -either on their first mission or during their Chünin Exams. 

I’ll repeat: There’s a reason why Hiruzen doesn’t allow the façade of Konoha’s practices to fall until the very last stage of the exams, because Konoha’s educational system (particularly), holds itself by ingraining the idea that Konoha as a symbol equalizes to everyone composing it. In trivial terms: If you ask a young child what they rather save, Konoha or their parents -they’ll probably save the person precious to them rather than a piece of land; however, if you convince the kid that Konoha is a symbol far greater than any person because it’s a place where their parents’ presence (or legacy) will still linger even after their deaths (“sacrifices”), then the decision isn’t as easy as it was before. Tsunade doubting about whether to help Orochimaru or not under the promise of seeing Dan and Nawaki again just reiterates the idea of tying Konoha (the symbol) to those dearest to her. Nawaki and Dan are, at this point, either at the same level or higher than the village itself -it’s after, with Naruto and Jiraiya’s intervention (offering of the Hokage’s title and, later on, threatening her), that the village becomes a symbol for both of them and she finally internalizes her master’s teachings. Even Dan states that he loves the village and all of his friends that live there, which is why he wants to defend it, further proving the idea previously mentioned. Furthermore, When Tsunade saves Naruto from Orochimaru’s attack -he asks her “why go to such lengths to save a Gënin,” to which she replies “I’m doing this to protect the village of Konohagakure”; there’re things to point out about this that intertwine this line with my previous point.

Naruto is the Jinchuriki of the nine tails, if he dies Konoha loses possession of Kurama.

Naruto’s dream is to become Hokage, and the remembrance of Dan and Nawaki allows Tsunade to make a connection between Naruto’s dream and theirs. She also might be referencing Naruto becoming Hokage as a way to save Konoha in the future.

Naruto is the representation of Konoha and its people. 

For Naruto, the title of Hokage is so important that he deems it unfathomable that someone would reject it -as Tsunade did the first time it was offered to her. It’s not only about his lack of knowledge about what the title entails and the responsibilities that come with it (something that isn't propagandistically mentioned, as the only thing highlighted about the position is the physical power the wielder needs to have in order to earn it. Realistically speaking, we know the title isn’t just about power -as Tsunade isn’t the strongest of the three Sannin, yet she’s the most valuable as the last Senju descendant), but also about the acknowledgment position she’s declining. Naruto has glorified the idea of Hokage (hero) to such a degree that questioning the position (or whoever has obtained it) seems incomprehensible, and when Tsunade does question it -he reacts violently. She’s questioning the very thing he wants to be, that’s why he reacts so fiercely against her when she both declines the position and questions its relevance and this is exactly why he’s set to never dispute the notion that was ingrained into him -Naruto questioning the system that killed thousands through the years is being practically buried here.

Regarding Naruto’s characterization, antagonizing the "prodigy" notion is incredibly important to him, not because he (truly) denies the strength of those who are given the title, but because their existence denies him of the acknowledgment he seeks, as all his accomplishments are "overshadowed" by Neji and Sasuke's sole presence. Therefore being recognized (positively so) by their ninja skills (as such is the political and cultural importance of such aspects inside the Shinobi system) is, to him, the most important category when pointing out a person’s value. 

To Naruto (and a big portion of the fandom) Neji is not considered a failure (unlike himself, Hinata, or Lee) therefore he somehow has an easier life despite being, in every other manner, oppressed by his family. This is a mindset Konoha in itself teaches to its citizens as this dogma’s value rests on the fact that it guarantees the success and preservation of the status quo established. Therefore, for Will of Fire supporters,  Sasuke couldn’t be discriminated against because he was praised for his techniques/was popular, Neji might be a slave but he’s incredibly valuable to Konoha due to his strength, so there is some sort of “retribution”. 

The problem with this mindset is that it diminishes valid criticisms as it downgrades minorities' arguments by pointing out the person's "worth" inside the overall structure: They're valuable for Konoha's militia as their power benefits them militarily, therefore this recognition discredits any other way they are politically, culturally or economically oppressed.

This nationalistic mindset, vastly sustained in the "greater good" rhetoric, also tries to diminish the relevance of ethnicity identification inside the Narutoverse. Let me explain it further: Being part of a clan isn't -or shouldn't be by Konoha's standards- as important as being a Konoha citizen. People inside the village should consider themselves Konoha citizens first and part of a clan second, so if the greater good (meaning, Konoha's survival or superiority) entails clans' oppression or the tolerance of slavery practices, not only these practices are narratively perceived as necessary but also are to be accepted by those affected by them because they have to see the bigger picture.

This rhetoric isn't as challenging for those in power: some fans claim that all shinobi are forced to forfeit/diminish their identity as clan members to be Konoha's shinobi first, yet it translates differently in practice. It's easier for those who benefited from the system to consider themselves part of their nation before their clan because their ethnicity isn't perceived or treated differently.

If we roughly translate it to real-life dogmas, it'll be as if a (mostly white populated) nation asked their citizens to "forfeit" their ethnic identity (and I'm comparing the Uchiha and Hyuga with real-life ethnic groups as biological differences inside the Narutoverse are marked by the presence or absence of Kekkei Genkai, as Haku introduces) in order to use their nation as an identifier. The white population of such space won't see nor understand the issue with such a request because their whiteness has never been used as a reason to diminish their relevance or capacities inside the spheres of power; furthermore, their nation's bureaucracy was built around their whiteness whilst POCs political value/capacities are constantly challenged. One (or few) instances of POC individuals being praised by those in power for meeting (or surpassing) the established standards isn't the same as them being treated as equals to their white counterparts.

In this “prodigy vs. hard worker” theme, we have two dogmas introduced in the manga: “A ninja is one who endures” (x) of Jiraiya, vs. “A ninja is one who wields Ninjutsu” of Orochimaru -this is an interesting dichotomy, as none of them contradicts the other, it’s also incredibly accurate to represent both Sasuke and Naruto as a ninja. Sasuke -up until the last chapter, is far superior to Naruto when it comes to Ninjutsu, but Naruto is incredibly tough and continuously increases his power/strength out of sheer stubbornness. Both of them have natural resources to move around the dogma they represent (Sasuke, the Sharingan; Naruto, Kurama), so they’re well-matched in that regard. 

The Naruto fandom seems to think that Naruto lacking a vast repertoire of Jutsus is the way Kishimoto uses to undermine the main character, completely missing the point of his characterization. Naruto isn’t supposed to be flashy nor interesting, he’s supposed to stand against the norm (a.k.a the literal definition of a ninja, which is Orochimaru’s, hence, Sasuke’s), which is why he has mostly two Jutsus during the whole manga. This, again, doesn’t contradict Sasuke’s characterization, as being able to wield Ninjutsu isn’t opposed to being able to endure -and considering Sasuke’s arc and how he, until the very last moment, refused to give up on his journey, only shows how he grew up to fulfill both visions. The narrative tries to show us how Sasuke's path is wicked, which is why his decision to continue is painted in a negative light.  

Sasuke Retrieval Arc

Once Sasuke leaves Konoha, he’s “followed” by Shikamaru and his newly formed squad (you can see an analysis about sexism here), and in chapter 202, we find this phrase uttered by the leader: “I should place more value on the lives of my teammates instead of the person abducted by the enemy (...) besides abandoning a teammate to protect yourself? There’s no one in my squad like that.” (x, x). However, Shikamaru is lying, both to himself and Tayuya. Sasuke wasn’t abducted, he left of his own volition (x). Shikamaru isn’t risking his life to save a kidnapped comrade, he’s risking his life so Orochimaru wouldn’t have the last Uchiha descendent by his side, which is proved by the way Tsunade references Sasuke’s deflection and Orochimaru’s “attempt to have the power of the Uchiha” (here); he’s protecting more Konoha’s possession of the last Sharingan user than Sasuke himself. 

Sure, he does have a sense of duty since Sasuke is a comrade, and it wouldn’t be weird for them to think that Sasuke was forced into accepting Orochimaru’s help as Tsunade is incapable of replying to Shikamaru’s question (she isn’t even sure of the answer as nor Kakashi or Jiraiya spoke to her about their suspicions); yet what interests us here is the weight that surrounds the use of the word “save” as it’s likely more for the children’s benefit to put them under a “savior” mindset in order to build their sense of duty and the imperative necessity of bringing Sasuke back; as it’s also likely that they gave sense to Sasuke’s escape by attributing it to kidnapping since they cannot conceive one of them deflecting. Here, the savior complex shifts, as we learn that it isn’t an individualistic ethos that it’s solely linked to Naruto’s character due to his background (it’s simply far more visible in his case), but it’s a learned mindset (un)consciously taught to ensure loyalty and obedience (“I’m not the bad guy, I’m saving you”; “this if for your own good!”; etc); it’s not really different to how real-life soldiers are told to perceive themselves.

“Does Konoha mean nothing to you?!” (x) Peak perfection in the sense of the nationalistic mindset Naruto has been constructing during the whole first portion of the manga, here, Naruto’s sparkles of revolutionary interests are crushed –and I mean, they were never bright to begin with. He never questioned Konoha’s relevance but rather Konoha’s structure when it presented challenges or negative preconceptions of his nature as Jinchuuriki that he needed to overcome or modify, as they did in Wave where he refused to become “just” a tool like Haku was (x), since a tool doesn’t need nor deserves recognition, which he craves. Here, the nationalistic mindset of Kakashi gets reflected upon the student, as Naruto internalized the Will of Fire and exposes it (and rather clearly) here: 

Naruto is contemplating Sasuke abandoning him and Team 7, which is the primary fuel in this quest and the reason behind his pain, he mentions the team that Shikamaru gathered (per Tsunade’s orders) to bring him back as these are individuals that put their life on the line to “rescue” Sasuke, yet Sasuke cares not. Naruto’s words are not a coincidence, he never states that the people searching for him are Sasuke’s friends (they aren’t, they never interacted in any significant way), the only thing they have in common is their village of origin and loyalty. For Naruto, that’s enough for a bond, for Sasuke it isn’t.

Sasuke himself put no one in danger, as he fought nor hurt anyone, it was Tsunade who sent inexperienced gënin to search Sasuke in order not to give Orochimaru the “Uchiha’s power”, Sasuke deflecting put no one in any immediate danger as he was, at most, to be killed and possessed by Orochimaru (which, alright, can be argued his body might have been used to destroy Konoha later on –despite Orochimaru being quite capable of doing so prior to having Sasuke’s body as well, so him having or not Sasuke isn’t detrimental for a possible retaliation from the Sannin) which, as he states, isn’t important (x)

I do believe that this specific claim: “You think I’m just gonna let you go?!” which is the culmination of Naruto’s speech about how Orochimaru will grant him power in exchange for his life (x) is understandable as Naruto is both hurt by Sasuke abandoning them and scared for his friend’s life (Sasuke is even leaving despite being aware that he’ll be likely killed, which is quite worse as not only Naruto feels pain as a result of his only friend escaping, but also him leaving to certain death). Naruto’s primary knowledge about Sasuke’s goal (killing Itachi) is that he’s willing to die for it (x) that, in regards to Naruto’s own goal, it’s unfathomable –as death is not one of the lengths Naruto is prepared for in order to get the acknowledgment he seeks. Furthermore, Sasuke’s death will automatically jeopardize his own objective, as Sasuke’s recognition is the one Naruto craves the most (here and here Naruto remembers Sasuke denying Naruto the equal status he wants, and Sasuke once again refuses: “who cares what you want?”). 

“You were my Idol, and so… hearing that… I was never happier, with those words, for the first time… you acknowledged I was good.” (x) Can’t make it clearer here Sasuke’s relevance on Naruto’s life and the importance of him staying, of him acknowledging Naruto.

This is not specifically about Naruto, but it’s interesting for this post. Look at this interaction in between Shikaku and his son, Shikamaru: 1, 2, 3. Here, Shikaku was questioning Shikamaru’s claim that he was not fit to be a shinobi (x), as (he states) all he can do is use this experience in order to improve. This whole conversation happens while both Chöji and Neji are in surgery, by the way, so not only is Shikamaru upset about the mission in itself, but he’s also concerned about his best friend’s and comrade’s lives. He’s putting himself as the only one responsible for the failing of a mission that was way over their skill level to begin with (this is Tsunade’ responsibility, not Shikamaru’s) x, and such notion is not questioned by anyone in that hallway (not by his father, Temari, or the Hokage); furthermore, Shikaku makes a point to drag his child through the (metaphorical) mud in order to “tough him up” for the next mission. This rough treatment wouldn’t have happened if Shikamaru had not questioned his future as a ninja, Shikaku is making sure Shikamaru doesn’t quit as a shinobi, emotionally manipulating the boy to convince him that “missions will continue to happen with or without you, so why resign anyway?” Couldn’t the same be said in the opposite direction? If he’s not detrimental to the structure’s function why does he have to stay? Because it sets a bad precedent: one person resigning does desestabilizes the structure, as then that practice becomes normalized which puts the entire shinobi structure in jeopardy as no one is willing to sacrifice themselves for Konoha, so Shikakau needs to stop this mindset in order to guarantee a faithful soldier. The excuse is “if missions are happening anyway, why not make sure they all come back alive? Be their leader and guarantee their safety!” Yet not only was this said before Tsunade and Shizune communicated the health status of Shikamaru’s colleagues (so Shikaku wasn’t aware if they were even alive), but also, it changes nothing, as Shikamaru’s doubt not only is about his own insecurities as a leader, but also about his reluctance to be under this kind of mental and emotional pressure and responsibility, which will continue to happen until either he gains enough experience or resigns. Furthermore, having experience doesn’t even guarantee such doubts going away, as they might still be present but controlled enough because of Shikamaru’s constant exposure to them. This specific conversation is Konoha’s teachings in a nutshell, emotional manipulation and rough treatment while a child is on the verge of a mental breakdown and all.

There is no closure suitable for this analysis because it would imply an end to this theme that is not given by the simple fact that the manga continues on Naruto Shippuden. However, I don't remember any intrinsic changes in the main character's thinking for the rest of the story, but it would be far-fetched to affirm it without doing the pertinent analysis.

[skellymom]

hello, i noticed you have "elder goth" written in your bio and im like. an infant bat. do you have any tips on anything (music, makeup, clothing, ect?

(srry if this sounds awkward, im just a very nervous person)

Whew! I DIDN'T FORGET YOU!!! It was an INSANE weekend at work...and I'm burnt. Plus, I like to write my fics and answer asks at my desktop computer and not my phone (fat fingers are clumsy).

Ahem...ok for the Goth Thing:

It's really just about the music. That's it. I mean SO MUCH has evolved and developed since the first wave of that "genre" music appeared on the scene back in the 1970's (Post Punk) underground. Even some bands labeled as Goth now didn't see themselves as such back in the day.

This next list has a lot of good Goth music, with some songs not necessarily in that genre, but close enough that MANY in the community love them. And, some of them showed up before the movement even started (a few after to help with it's evolution), but definitely helped to establish the genre later on (ahem...David Bowie). Btw Marilyn Manson is NOT Goth. However, a LOT of us still love his music as it fits with our dark aesthetic...and remember when I mentioned David Bowie? Well, I am quite sure he helped inspired Marilyn Manson. His Mechanical Animals album certainly looks as it was influenced by Bowie. But, I digress, again... This is just a start on your musical journey...a stepping stone.

People will tell you that if you don't dress or present physically a certain way that you aren't Goth. NOPE. You can dress dark and spooky and edgy but not be Goth. You can dress like a pink princess or "normie" and be Goth at heart. When us older Children of the Night were coming up we did a LOT of DIY (do it yourself) and wore a lot of things you might not consider even Goth. There wasn't the depth, breadth, and easy access of things available on the market like today. We were poor, felt different, non conformist, and just looking for community. That's another hallmark of being a Goth: community. Because back in the day someone might do a violence on you for looking weird (Wearing all black back in the day was seen as extremely socially deviant. ESPECIALLY in small town US or conservative UK/England. People literally were afraid of or hated us. Our brethren: The Punks, Rastafarians, Metal Heads, Rappers, New Wavers (prejudice was doubled if you were a person of color, a different sexuality/gender, poor, etc.) experienced the same thing in society. Then came along The Satanic Panic and OH SHIT what a pain in the ass that was! And The "Moral" Majority crap...) I digress: we were looking for people like us, BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO LOOK EXACTLY LIKE US. Just a bunch of nice, supportive people who got together to listen to music, dance, support the local bands/talent, and try to make it another day. You will find this in the FANDOM, LGBTQ+, and Communities of Color as well...and they overlap.

The presentation is secondary and up to you on how you want to look. You can do it up the max or just be simple in black. My favorite person from back in the day, who really doesn't specifically identify as Goth, but hung heavily in the scene back in the day: Neil Gaiman. The guy who gave us the character of Death from The Sandman Series, published as I was coming into my own Baby Bat phase (based on a real person named "Cinnamon"). Yeah...the character everyone aspires to look like (next to Siouxsie Sioux). He wears just plain black clothes and a long black coat. (Pic of him as a youngin')

Me, I go for "Lazy Goth". Everything black (even at work-black scrubs) with occasionally printed tee or a dark jewel toned piece of clothing. Usually I also mix in the Punk aesthetic too (I love the music and put patches on every damned thing). Punk is scruffy and imperfect, not fussy. I like comfort and ease of dressing. Especially in hot weather. And, I don't do a lot of face makeup, especially being older. Plus, I rather like my olive toned skin. Not every Goth needs to be pale. Google Goth People of Color. Beautiful and amazing looks.

Beware of Gatekeepers. Gothier Than Thou's. Don't let them crush your spirit. There is room in this subculture for everyone. If a particular club, group, or individual sets that tone, just move on. That shit ain't worth it.

Dropping a quote from my (sort of) GothFather creative Neil Gaiman:

"Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here. Make. Good. Art."

This can also be read as the journey to "create" yourself. You are on a journey, my sweet Child of the Night. It will take a while to find your stride, whatever that is, and that's totally ok. Spread your bat wings and FLY!

Leaving you with one of my favorite songs:

[maddiviner]

Hey everyone. I’m posting this to raise a question.

As witches and willworkers, we (should) try to show conspiracy theorists the door, particularly those who’re bigots. But what do we do about people who’re obviously experiencing delusions? Someone who’s mentally ill? Struggling and hurting?

As my username suggests, I’ve got a lot to say about this topic, but there’s not really an easy answer, and I think it needs some discussion. I’d be happy to hear other people’s perspectives. I do think people like me (who’ve experienced psychosis) might have strong feelings about this, but so might those hurt by conspiracy theories. It’s complex.

People online like to laugh when someone posts that the earth is flat, that the moon is a demonic lair, that mountains are trees, etc. When someone starts claiming they’re being “gangstalked” by aliens or the Illuminati, etc, people laugh.

My question is, where do we draw the line? Truth is, a lot of these weird delusions of persecution people write about online are symptoms of actual mental illnesses. So why do people treat it as funny?

Nobody’s going to post a video of me having a seizure and laugh when I bite my tongue. We don’t chuckle when someone with multiple sclerosis experiences spasms. People don’t post screenshots of people talking about deleting with “hahah look at that depressed loser,” so why the “hahah look at that stupid schizo” vibe?

I get that it’s hard not to laugh, at times. Some of it can be quite ridiculous from the outside. If someone on Facebook tells you they think you’re working with the Illuminati to spy on them for purposes unknown, it can be hard not to respond with anything but a confused giggle.

Still, though. Imagine being that person, believing that. From the inside, it can be a terrifying experience. Those things feel unbelievably real in the moment. Three months later, you might find that low dose Abilify (or something) returns your life to normal, but believe me - delusions feel real when you’re in them. I’d wager that’s true for all delusions. When we’re in it, we believe it, we feel it - the fear’s real.

I don’t want to discuss my personal experiences with delusions when I was much younger. I’d rather have written this entire post without mentioning it, but I don’t think my perspective would be taken seriously otherwise. While frightening, my own delusions didn’t involve these kinds of conspiracy theories. They aren’t really relevant here, except to say that it feels incredibly real and terrifying.

In other words, you can be sure that the boomer dude accusing you on Twitter of being a “perp” working with the gangstalkers and beaming “nausea waves” at him really does believe it, and really is frightened on an existential level.

With that in mind, can we really feel okay laughing at people like that?

I guess we might be unable to suppress a private giggle when we read someone’s comment about the hollow earth, or those moon demons supposedly drinking our blood. But it’d be downright unconscionable to directly bully them, even under the guise of “trying to talk them out of it.”

It’d of course, be worse, to pretend I *am* the moon aliens that terrify them, and start messaging them. And yes, that happens sometimes. I have an old friend who developed schizophrenia in 2007 and is STILL convinced we were all working against him/stalking him (at the time) because another person tried to turn his delusions into a joke, thinking it would “make him realize how silly he was being.”

Of course, by “turn them into a joke,” I mean “pretend they were real” and act out the scenario via Skype while the rest of us frantically tried to stop him.

If we’re going to talk about why humor might make such situations worse, we need to discuss humor itself. There’s some evidence that humanity’s capacity for laughter evolved as a way of signaling to our comrades that a situation isn’t actually dangerous. In other words, ancient humans might have laughed as a way of saying, “Yes, this looks scary, but it’s not!”

When we laugh at these things, we’re affirming (to ourselves, if not necessarily anyone else) that we’re not afraid, either of the moon demons or the person frantically telling us about them. Thus, the “laugh at conspiracy theories” thing can be a way of inoculating ourselves and others against them.

We shouldn’t do this at the expense of people who’re scared and suffering, though. We should always take care to avoid making things worse for other people who might have been unfortunate enough to fall into this kind of thing. The issue, of course, is how to do that while also not allowing a place for such conspiracy theories.

I hang out sometimes in transhumanist spaces online. It’s not frequent, but I do keep tabs on the movement and new papers, etc. Naturally, the topic of human enhancement, cyborgs, all that, attracts some conspiracy types, some of which are clearly hurting. In those cases, the moderators of those places tend to show them the door, because reading more transhumanist material and interacting with a volatile online space like that could be harmful for them in that state. That, and of course, not everyone’s kind, and people were trying to “mess” with these “crazies” too.

What it comes down to is this. If it’s a friend of yours or a family member, you likely have the means to help, even if in a small way. When it’s an internet person, you really don’t. Trying to talk them out of it likely won’t work, and might make things worse. Play-acting to make them “realize they’re being silly” is disingenuous trolling, and you’re a grade-A piece of shit if you even consider it. Often, removing yourself from the situation is the best you can do, if the person seems to be in no immediate danger.

I actually wish I’d been banned from certain spaces online when I was dealing with this kind of thing. It sounds ridiculous, but many of the places I visited during my episodes delayed recovery. When you’re experiencing psychosis, material and interactions that would otherwise be innocuous can have straight-up toxic effects. There’s no sense to it - that’s why it’s psychosis, I suppose.

At one point I commented on here that I didn’t do Tarot readings for people currently experiencing mental health crisis or psychosis. I was called ableist for that, and told that I should simply “ask them their triggers and remove those cards.”

Yeah, no. Psychosis doesn’t play by that sort of rules. Or any rules, really. Even if, from the outset, I can’t cite “violent impalement” as a trigger, I might be terrified by the Ten of Swords, especially if I were experiencing delusions again. This is not a black and white issue, and I’m still figuring things out - I just think the matter of mental illness is an important thing to consider. And a lot of these conspiracy theories were intentionally designed by bigots for bigoted purposes. Popular conspiracy theory influencers nowadays exploit the vulnerable for fame and profit.

Many of these conspiracy theories are just updates of centuries-old antisemitic blood libel, though. And these ideas cause a lot of real harm. You only need to skim the news over the past few years to see how far-reaching and dangerous things like Qanon quickly became. How can we best combat this kind of thing, knowing that they specifically target people who are struggling?

We shouldn’t give conspiracy theories so much as an inch. We should be working to both debunk them and warn others from falling into those belief systems. But what do we do in situations where someone is clearly unwell?

As I said, delusions don’t play by normal rules. Mine didn’t. Presenting evidence isn’t going to work, and that’s not because the person is obstinate, either. I usually just walk away, disconnect - but this is something worth talking about. How do you handle these situations? Why?

Before I go, I want to also note that sometimes a response you post to a person online isn’t actually for them. It’s extremely hard to change someone’s mind by arguing with them online. Other people read those exchanges, though, and are influenced by your words.

In a way, when I argued with Qanoners on Facebook during the lockdowns, I wasn’t typing words for them, but for the lurkers who might come across it. I knew the person I was arguing with wasn’t going to listen, but I also knew we had an audience. So, that, too, is important to keep in mind when dealing with conspiracy theorists (of all sorts) online.

[joyfulexperiment]

Joyful Experiment, Day #9: "Middlefest," charcoal

Shallan jumped, safehand to breast, and spun.

He rested up a tree limb, wearing his black outfit. He moved as she saw him, and the spiky limbs retreated in wave of vanishing red and orange. It was the messenger who had spoken to Father earlier. - Brandon Sanderson's Words of Radiance

(Art diary, the weirdness of a drawing a book-accurate fantasy species of tree, and sharing about what happens when a book is there for you at the right time, under the cut.)

I feel excited to post this one - it's not really any more skillful than the rest, but the picture means something to me, I find.

I blame Sanderson for his description of the jella tree, which is is naturally adapted to thrive in an environment that gets weekly hurricanes. It has long, pointed, spiny leaves of pink, orange, and yellow that look like explosions of colour, or as though the tree were on fire, and which pull inside the trunk if they sense movement (to avoid being ripped off by storms.) Further, the trunks are rock hard because they are evolved to take in the detritus that naturally falls in the rain and incorporate it into the trunk and heart of the tree to make it withstand gale force winds.

I actually tried drawing this scene once last year, from a much further away and level perspective, and tried to be very literal about those spiny leaves, which came out looking like gigantic evergreen needles. The effect was ugly and sparse looking. So for this attempt, I decided to be less literal and be more inspired by the flame description, rounding them out and bringing them to a point with a tinge of what might be a contrasting colour if this weren't a pencil sketch. The result looks a bit goofy, chaotic, and Dr. Suess-ish, but I consider it an improvement on the previous picture, and it does get more the effect I was going for if you stand back and don't look closely at any particular leaf.

As for for the trunk, Sanderson doesn't tell us how this rock hard tree draws leaves inside itself, so I decided maybe it was like a fantastic crackled egg shell with gooey bits holding the crackles together, where the hatching dinosaur baby might stick its little beak or appendages out and pull them back in several times without wrecking the shape or integrity of the egg. (I know - we raised chickens and turkeys for years, and I know this isn't quite how it works - but I establish my image, don't I?) To this effect, I decided the trunk would be a bit like a spruce tree, covered with random non-corresponding shapes and nobbles with seams between them that all fit together like a mosaic. The leaves pull in and out through the seams. I don't have the skill yet to pull off what I was going for, but you get the idea.

I am happier with how the people in this picture turned out. Though they could of course use work, I think I did a better job with foreshortening then usual, and it was fun making little choices like giving Hoid a cape or short boots. Shallan's havah (dress) was tricky to figure out, as this is a flashback scene to her early teens. I didn't want to give it too much shape (I wanted her to look a little stubbier at this age than later) nor did I want to make it too fancy or embellished, because it would make her look older. But then again, she's at a festival, so it made sense she'd been wearing something a bit special. For cultural reasons of modesty, Vorin women cover their left hands with long sleeves buttoned closed, and this seemed like a promising part of the outfit to add some ornamentation.

This scene means a lot to me. Without spoilers, in this scene Shallan meets Hoid, who is much older than he looks and will become a sort of mentor figure to her, for the first time. She's living through some extremely difficult events, and feels at once helpless to change anything and like the only one who can keep her family from being destroyed. She's weeping, and then she sees a funny man in a tree who asks her questions that open up her mind, spins her a tale like a true storyteller and engages her in a Socratic discussion about it, and finally shows her something wondrous. She doesn't meet him again till adulthood, and even then they meet seldom, but every time they meet I am so, so delighted.

When I was reading the Stormlight Archive aloud to my brother last year, I wasn't in a situation anything like Shallan's, thank God, but I was going through possibly the most awful time of my life, which turned out all right but that I am still working through on some level. It was a situation where, like Shallan, I could do very little change anything except pray and try to be a source of stability through it all for the others who were suffering. About four days into it, someone told me I was just scarring myself further by allowing myself no mental escape from it. They told me, "Go on praying, go on listening, go on being there for the ones who need it - but there's no knowing how long this will go on. Please, you'll be better able to come through this if you listen to some music or read a book or something, even for a little."

So I decided it would help both me and my brother to continue our read aloud. It was a lifesaver. Those books are not perfect books, but there is much, much that is beautiful and fascinating and thoughtful, and encouraging in them. We let ourselves laugh at the funny moments, and speculate about the mysteries. We were already far enough into the story before this crisis started that we were emotionally attached to Kaladin, Shallan, Dalinar, and the rest. And there was something about their story that made it seem like it wasn't a pure escape - when we finished a reading, we felt a little bit strengthened to carry on through what we were facing with new resolve and trust, to stay soft even though it hurt, to work through the anger and the sorrow, to trust God for what would come next. It feels embarrassing in some ways that we were leaning on Brandon Sanderson novels of all things, but there was a grace in it I am thankful for. The timing was right.

[weasleylangs]

secrets i have held in my heart - f.w

Pairing: Fred x Fem!Reader Summary: Everyone in the twins’ lives mix them up once in a while, except for Y/N. Fred is dying to know how.  Warnings: Some angst with a happy ending, yes I wrote oblivious Fred again with miscommunication issues, what about it, some swearing, brief mention of the war but obviously this is a FredLives!AU :D, mentions of sex but nothing descriptive it’s like one line, - everyone is 18+ by the way!  Word Count: 4k

A/N: For the anon who requested super secret mutual pining with some angst where the reader is the only person who can tell the twins apart! Thank you so much for requesting. This has also been cross-posted on AO3 (frederickweasleys) as per the anon’s request! 

Also, I didn’t want to write about a 17 and 15 year old pining after each other, so I made everyone older and it’s postwar, however I was like 2000 words into the fic when I remembered George got his mf ear blasted off in DH so…. U do not see that it’s not canon in this fic thank you

----------------------------------

The sun is blaring down on The Burrow and everyone is starting to wonder the likelihood of getting heatstroke. They’re in the south-west of England and the weather doesn’t usually get above the early 20s in the middle of August, however, mother nature has decided to wreak havoc and today is almost 30°. 

Y/N is looking at the pages in her book but she’s not processing anything on the pages. She’s so appreciative of the relaxing life she and all her loved ones finally have. The war ended last year, and while Y/N isn’t family, Molly and Arthur are always insistent she’s welcomed at The Burrow for their Sunday roast dinners. 

So she sits under a tree, the muggle fantasy novel in hand as Molly is busy prepping dinner and her friends all play quidditch. Hermione’s been refereeing them despite having no actual knowledge of the rules, and right now, she’s waving Harry’s copy of ‘Quidditch Through The Ages’ at one of the twins trying to prove a point, fully aware she’s going to get nowhere with him. He’s laughing at her and he raises the hand holding the beater’s bat as he threatens to (softly) hit her with it when he looks over her shoulder and spots his favourite girl perched under the tree with his mum’s homemade lemonade. 

Before Y/N knows it, the bat’s been thrown in her direction, barely missing her and hitting the tree behind her, and when she looks up, she immediately recognises the twin as Fred. Fred and Y/N are almost two sides of the same coin and their friendship has always been considered unlikely. Fred loves mischief and pranks and he’s extremely exuberant where Y/N is a ‘stickler for the rules’ (Fred’s words, not hers) and she’d much rather spend her day reading than playing quidditch. But their friendship blossomed and eventually for Y/N her feelings evolved into more. 

But Y/N is one of Ron’s best friends, and having a crush on her best friend’s older brother is weird, even if they are 19 and 21. 

“Hi Freddie,” she says, dog-earing the page and closing her novel, accepting now that Fred’s in her presence, the book isn't getting read again until tonight, “no more quidditch?” 

The ginger gives her a shit-eating grin and completely ignores her question, “Darling, I’m George.” 

Y/N squints at him for a brief moment, second-guessing herself but the longer she looks at him the more she’s sure it’s Fred, not George in front of her. “No, you’re Fred. I’ve known you for how long? Just accept I can tell you apart.” 

Fred mutters a ‘fuck’ under his breath as he sits down. He’s always loved that Y/N is the only person who can tell them apart, his own family struggling sometimes and especially when they’re apart. But no matter what, she somehow gets it right every single time and he’s dying to know how.

“You’re never going to tell me how you do it, are you?” He questions and she replies how she always does when he asks, blaming it on intuition and that she doesn’t know how she does it. As always, he doesn’t believe her. Y/N secretly does have a way of easily telling the twins apart, not rooted in intuition in the slightest but she doesn’t want to tell him. 

The truth is, the way her heart races when Fred looks or speaks to her is her way of telling them apart. Fred always has a mischievous glint in his brown eyes and the way he looks at Y/N makes her feel like she’s the only girl in the world. George is sweet, loving and exceptionally kind- he was there as a source of comfort and calmness for Y/N when the trio disappeared during their 7th year to hunt Horcruxes, when she and her family went into hiding. She loves George like she would love a brother, like how she loves Ron and Harry, but the love Y/N has for Fred is different and the catalyst for her ability to tell them apart.

“I’m going to get you one day. One day George and I will swap and you’ll get it wrong and as a reward for finally tricking the oh so wonderful Miss Y/N Y/L/N, you’ll tell me how you tell us apart.” 

-

It’s not even an hour later when Fred and George come down wearing each other’s clothing. Y/N’s well aware Fred prefers to wear warm and bright colours while George likes to wear the dark colours in their coordinated clothing, so seeing Fred walk down the stairs in George’s purple shirt and vice versa is funny, despite the fact they’re identical twins, Y/N thinks they look ridiculous and unfamiliar.

“George put the purple back on. You look weird in orange,” she says, as she goes back to help Molly with the vegetables for dinner and soon after she speaks, she hears someone angrily kick the table. She looks up from her potatoes she’s been peeling to see an entertained George and Fred who looks like he’s going to throw a child-size tantrum. 

“How!” He exclaims again, pulling the shirt up over his head, shoving it in George’s hands and stomping back upstairs to change. Y/N is about to follow him, genuine concern for Fred in tow. She knows he’s most likely just being dramatic to cause a ruckus but there’s a small part of her that considers he might be serious. 

“He’s fine, Y/N,” George states, changing his shirts and throwing Fred’s orange one over the back of the chair as he sits down, “I think he’s trying to rile you up into telling him how you do it.” 

She laughs at this, knowing that while she might not have told him, the look in George’s eye hints that he’s picked up on her feelings for his twin brother. But before she can say anything, Ron comes bounding down the stairs and right into the kitchen, Harry in tow. They’re both looking for food and when Ron’s hand makes his way towards the ham, Y/N smacks him.

“Don’t spoil your dinner,” she scolds which causes Harry to laugh. 

“But, mum,” Ron mockingly replies, “All the quidditch got me hungry!” He might be 19 but he’s sulking like a 10-year-old boy and Y/N thinks temper tantrums might run in the Weasley family. 

When Molly isn’t looking, however, Y/N sneaks him a piece of ham and Ron jumps up quickly, smacking a kiss to her cheek, “You’re the best!” he whispers as he quickly shoves the piece of ham in his mouth to not be caught by his mother. 

Soon enough, everyone’s crammed into the small kitchen and Molly waves them all out except Y/N, who she insists stays. She thinks it’s because she was already helping with the vegetables but when she’s about to ask for her next task, Molly has a rare mischievous glint in her eye.

“How do you tell my sons apart?” She enquires and Y/N groans. She hasn’t been asked how she tells the twins apart this often since she was at Hogwarts and before she can speak, Molly continues, “it’s just no one can besides us, and even then, sometimes I catch myself calling George, Fred sometimes.” 

Y/N sighs. She loves Molly like her own mother, but she loves to meddle like every mother. 

“I just know, I wish I had some excuse like a mother’s instinct, but I just know,” Y/N pauses and thinks how to word her next statement without spilling too much for potential eavesdroppers and Extendable Ears to hear, “They have different energies. I think I pick up on it easily.” 

Y/N hopes that’s enough for Molly to drop the conversation at hand and while Molly hums in agreement, she reads between the lines. She’s known for a while that Y/N carries a flame for the oldest twin, after all the way Y/N looks at Fred is the same way she looks at Arthur, so she’s hoping for the day they both stop dancing around their feelings. 

She already loves Y/N like a daughter, and she’d like it to be official one day. 

-

After dinner, the girls are all holed up in Ginny’s room. She loves staying at The Burrow. Y/N never grew up with sisters and her friendship with Hermione and Ginny are the closest she gets to them. They usually gossip, who’s dating who, who’s already getting married, sometimes it gets juicy and someone’s pregnant. 

When Ginny and Harry, and Hermione and Ron finally got together, they gushed for hours about how it finally happened and how excited they all were.

Tonight, unfortunately, the topic at hand is Y/N and Fred.

“When are you going to tell him?” Ginny enquires as she smooths out her face mask. Hermione’s braiding Y/N’s hair and when she doesn’t reply, Hermione grasps some hair and gives a hard tug. Y/N yelps and while Hermione mutters an apology, she doesn’t miss the wink she gives Ginny in the mirror.

“Tell Fred what exactly?” 

“About your feelings for him,” Ginny replies like it’s the most obvious thing in the world that everyone should have known. Y/N starts to stutter, trying to find words to deny her feelings but these are her two best girl friends, her sisters and she can’t lie to them no matter how much she wants to. 

“Okay fine, they exist but he’s never knowing,” she states, a matter of factly as if it’s something to be proud of, “and he’s never finding out. I’m looking at you, Ginevra.” Ginny inherited her love to meddle from her mother, and if Y/N is positive about anything it’s that Ginny is going to meddle to get her best friend and brother together. 

“I’m pretty sure he likes you back,” Hermione says. She prides herself on being observant but even she didn’t notice Ron’s feelings for her until he quite literally put his lips on hers. 

“I’m just his little siblings’ best friend, Hermione, I doubt it,” she says as she grabs the tiny elastics to secure her hair. “Besides, I think he has a thing with one of the girls from his year at school.”

“You’re choosing now of all days to get the wrong twin? George is dating Angelina. Fred hasn’t even been seen with a girl since he slept with one of Fleur’s cousins at the wedding.” Ginny says and something about this makes Y/N blush, almost happy that Fred’s been single for as long as she has, but the jealousy is in the back of her mind.

“... Shut up,” Y/N laughs as she grabs the nearest pillow and smacks Ginny over the head with it. This causes chaos in Ginny’s tiny bedroom and soon enough all three girls are defending themselves with pillows and jumping around the bedroom.

What none of the girls knew, however, was Fred standing outside of the bedroom, eavesdropping. He’s always been curious about what the girls talk about when the boys aren’t around and Fred reckons if he doesn’t have to hear about his little siblings’ sex life, it doesn’t hurt anybody. 

Except it does, and he hurts himself. He arrived just in time for Ginny to question why Y/N doesn’t admit her feelings to someone. At first, Fred was hopeful, especially when the conversation steers in the direction of her liking one of the twins. After all, Bill’s married, Percy’s… Well, he’s Percy and Charlie isn’t in England enough for him to believe Y/N was able to develop feelings for him. 

So that leaves himself and George from context clues. He’s always had a crush on her ever since they were in school, but he was always worried about coming off as creepy, pining after someone two years below him. 

But then Y/N says ‘I think he has a thing with one of the girls from his year at school’ and he walks off before he even hears the rest of the conversation, hearing the apparent confirmation of Y/N’s feelings for George. 

-

The summer is still sweltering hot when she decides to visit Diagon Alley three days later. She’s shopping for her nephew when she ends up in Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. Fred was unusually quiet when she said goodbye to him on Monday morning before she floo’d away to her job at the Ministry and she’s hoping to catch him at the shop during quiet hour. 

When she walks in, she’s met with a bell ringing and the voice that calls out ‘Hi, how are you today!’ doesn’t make her heart race so she immediately knows she’s caught the wrong twin at the counter.

“Hey, Georgie!” She makes her way over to the counter. It’s a Wednesday morning, so the shop has a lull in customers and he’s doing what Y/N assumes is a stock take of whizbangs. He gives her a nice smile as she potters her way over to him. She stops in front of the love potions, smelling the familiar scent of cinnamon, fireworks and something that can only be described as happiness in the small bottles. She’s so entranced for a moment that she doesn’t even notice George make his way up next to her.

“You don’t need one of these, by the way,” He whispers as he winks, looking behind him and seeing Fred standing on top of the spiral staircase not looking the happiest. 

“You’re the second person to tell me that this week,” she mutters, quickly putting the love potion vial down, “I don’t know what any of you mean.”

George chuckles at her obliviousness. It’s been obvious since they were teenagers about the feelings both Fred and Y/N harbour for each other but he can’t help but admit it’s just the tiniest bit funny. Like it’s a joke they’re all in on except the oblivious couple themselves.

“It’s because we’re more observant than you, darling,” George says, absent-mindedly fixing the display so it looks presentable. Y/N’s about to question him when someone clears their throat behind them- an elderly gentleman shopping for some grandkids when George excuses himself with the promise ‘this isn’t over’. 

Fred watched the interaction from the staircase and while he didn’t hear anything, he feels like he’s gotten punched in the stomach. He knows he’s never directly told George about his feelings for Y/N, and George is dating Angelina anyway and he’d never betray her, but he can’t ignore the slight feeling of upset he feels when he sees them interact.

-

“I think Y/N likes you,” Fred says nonchalantly and George almost chokes on his tea. It takes him a moment to fix his breathing before he looks at Fred like he’s got three heads.

“No, she doesn’t?” George questions, like it’s the most obvious thing in the entire world and that upsets Fred slightly. He’s not upset at George, he never has and he never will be upset with George, but it seems like his comment was brushed off without any deeper consideration.

“No, I think she does,” Fred says, twiddling his quill between his fingers as he stares at the tax invoice in front of him. Wednesday night is budget night and Fred knows he’s not going to get any work done if his mind is stuck on Y/N and her feelings for George.

“No, mate, she doesn’t,” George huffs and Fred notices the eye roll George gives him. George only ever gives him eye rolls when he’s being oblivious. Like when Fred spent 20 minutes looking for his wand last week only to find it in his pocket.

Fred’s convinced George is just being oblivious, blinded by his new relationship with Angelina that he hasn’t noticed Y/N’s feelings for him. “Do you wonder how she can tell us apart?” 

George huffs in annoyance as a reply and Fred pouts as he attempts to go back to his taxes. He’s reread the same line three times when George finally speaks.

“I think it’s got something to do with her feelings for us. She feels differently about one twin.” George is intentionally being coy, hoping to Godric that Fred caught the pointed stare and the emphasis but Fred wasn’t looking and the longer he dwells on what George has said the more he’s convinced he doesn’t have a chance with Y/N at all.

- 

It’s the weekly Sunday roast again and Fred isn’t expecting to floo into The Burrow and be met almost face to face with Y/N. He’s planned on ignoring her today, purposely volunteering to do any work needed at the shop while George floo’s to The Burrow early in the afternoon. 

It teeters on 5 pm when Fred finally arrives and he’s quickly engulfed in a hug by his mother with his father behind him telling him to stop working on Sundays as ‘Sundays are for family’. With a kiss to his mum’s forehead and a promise to his dad that he’ll force George into doing the Sunday work next week, who throws a piece of stale bread at Fred’s head while exclaiming ‘you offered!’ he quickly makes his way away from Y/N.

Molly’s quick to serve up dinner now Fred’s here, complaining he’s starving already. He quickly steals the seat next to Ron and pulls George down next to him- not wanting to allow Y/N to sit either side of him. Usually, she sits between Ron and Fred and when she turns the corner and the only available seat is the furthest from Fred, her heat sinks a little.

Dinner is pleasant, it always is at The Burrow. Hermione and Y/N talk about the ministry while Ginny tells stories of her Holyhead Harpies tryouts she had during the week. Y/N might let slip she works with the coach’s sister-in-law and overheard some high praise for a certain Miss. Weasley and Ginny’s eyes fill with tears when she hears this. 

There’s a quick lull in conversation as Molly waves her wand and the now empty plates make their way into the kitchen, children following behind them ready to help wash up but Fred makes his way outside. He likes to watch the sunset, the sun slowly dipping behind the hills where he learnt how to play quidditch as a kid as the sun becomes shades of orange. 

He’s sitting under the tree when Y/N follows him out. She’s shouting his name trying to find him. He slipped out without anyone noticing and that’s unusual for Fred so something is wrong. When she spots him, she starts jogging over and she can’t tell if he’s ignoring her or can’t hear her calling his name, so she tries something.

“George?” 

Fred turns, a smirk subconsciously forming on his lips and Y/N finally feels seen by him in a week. “It took me calling you your brother’s name to get your attention?” She asks, kicking sticks out of the way before she takes a seat next to him. 

“No, love. Just shocked you finally got us mixed up,” he replies, shoving her a little with his elbow. He knows she only did it to get his attention, but he’s Fred Weasley and he’s going to use this to his advantage. “I believe I told you when you get us mixed up, you’re legally required to tell me how you do it. I’m all ears.” He wiggles his eyebrows but deep down, he’s scared George’s assumption is right.

She rolls her eyes, but the love she has for this boy in her heart can’t be kept a secret anymore. This week she’s felt like he’s been ignoring her and while she and Fred are no means ‘best friends’, not like she is with the others, she’s felt a little piece of her universe missing knowing he’s been upset.

“You and George, I… I feel different about you to how I feel about George,” she starts and Fred’s breath hitches. He doesn’t know if he’s going to storm off or throw up so he just sits and stares at a rock. “George makes me feel comfortable. He’s always willing to talk to me about anything, feeds into the fact I can speak for hours on end about any topic if you let me,” she laughs and her nervousness is in her throat. She notices Fred isn’t looking at her and it’s making her want to run away.

“But you, you feel like home, Freddie. The way my heart races when I hear you speak or when you look at me. It’s the biggest indicator of how I tell you guys apart. George and you may be identical but the way you both make me feel is so different.” She’s whispering now and she’s realised Fred is looking at her so intently that the Earth might open up and swallow her whole. 

“Like, home?” 

She smiles softly and takes his big hand that’s been messing with rocks into her small ones. “Like I can tell you anything and you’ll never judge me. I could be having the worst day of my life and one joke from you can make me smile even if I’ve been crying for hours.” Her thumb starts to rub along the top of his hand and the way he shivers doesn’t miss her. 

“I’m trying to say, in a round-about kind of way, that I’m in love with you, Freddie,” her voice is shaky but there’s no backing out now. “I’m in love with you and this past week where it’s felt like you’re mad at me has me so confused because I don’t know what I did.” 

Fred feels incredibly guilty now, he was so caught up in his own feelings that he didn’t stop to think how his actions would affect Y/N. “I thought you liked George,” he whispers, and he feels his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. “I thought you liked George and not me and I didn’t want to be near you knowing that.” 

She giggles and drops his hands to run her fingers through his hair. It’s still short but she thinks she can convince him to grow it out again. “Me? George? Not even for a second.” 

“Why not?” The joking in Fred’s voice is there but so is the genuine curiosity. 

“I don’t know. It’s just always been you, ever since I was 11 and you were bullying Ron into performing a spell to turn Scabbers yellow.” She laughs at the memory, watching scrawny Fred bully his small brother on the train platform. 

Fred looks down at her, her hands now playing at the hair at the back of his neck and he feels goosebumps rise across his skin. He wants nothing more to lean down and press a kiss to her lips and when he realises he never actually admitted his feelings to Y/N back, he starts to lean down, hoping to convey everything he feels for her through a kiss.

She’s quick to catch on and she leans up so quickly they almost bump noses. It’s messy, like most first kisses are, especially in an awkward sitting down position but the love they have for each other is there and obvious. They pull away when they’re barely kissing anymore, just smiling and laughing into each other’s mouths. 

“Does this mean we’re dating now?” Fred asks. It’s a dumb question, they both know it but when Y/N pretends to think he stands up and hauls her over his shoulders and starts swinging her around. The giggles that erupt from her make Fred’s heart swell and he’s about to put her down just to get down on one knee himself and propose right then and there.

“Yes, Freddie, if you want me to be your girlfriend then I’m yours.” Y/N replies and Fred smiles, he loves that. Not Y/N being his, he could never believe she’s an object, but she loves him and he loves her and now he understands why George was rolling his eyes at him.

“As long as you don’t get George and I mixed up in bed, I’m all yours.” He says it jokingly, but the smack he receives from Y/N is no joke and when he starts swinging her around again, he’ll forever make dumb jokes like this if he gets to hear her laugh like that for the rest of his days.

[chisheya]

hanahaki disease [niragi x reader x chishiya] highschool au!

Summary: love is reckoned to make us powerful; not susceptible - as much as i tried to convince myself that. as much as i tried to stay strong; tough and heroic, enough to risk it all and let my emotions surge on the exterior. strong enough to be crushed yet again, to love and be loved again - knowing my fragility. 

 i’ve known the agony and lament sufficiently enough that it demolished my sanity, left my soul burning away, gradually fading into ashes and disappearing like dust under the moonlight’s breeze. and the funny unfunny part is - i wish i had told him, perhaps one day i will. 

‘‘I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you. My love bloomed like a flower in my chest.’‘

Tag list: (if you want to be tagged, let me know because the previous post got deleted for some weird reason lol)

Word count: 2.5k

The sun's soft twinkles crawl over house rooftops, and in an early hour, despite it, it still felt like a chilly morning. Early as it is, the neighborhood was caught up with parents rushing with their children, some going to work, some even rushing late. Thankfully, the riots of youngsters were vetoed by the sound of Supermassive Black Hole by Muse playing through my earphones. I was deliberately walking down the alley on my way to school, gripping the hem of my uniform and cursing to myself that this skirt was of no use to at least keep my legs warm. 

The reckless gust reaching from my left side provoked me to jump out of my skin, revolting me from my daydream. 

‘’God's sake-’’ I turn my head only to see Chishiya standing next to me, with a smirk on his lips. The sudden view of him caused me to blush, as my brain screamed oh-look-your-crush. Although you could rarely see this guy smiling and being friendly, his agenda was incompatible. Clever, crucial, and cunning as he is, he always had a special place in my heart. Why, you ask? I'd love to know that too... Maybe because he has been my friend since forever. 

''You must be that cold, huh,'' Chishiya says sarcastically. ''Y-yeah.'' I murmur, ''anyway, again one of early practicals at the hospital today?'' ''Correct.''

''Yikes,'' I add, clicking my tongue, ''good luck.''

''Have you decided if you'll stay here in Tokyo?'' Chishiya pops a question, clearing his throat, as his face remains immersed on the boulevard in front of us. ''Huh, what do you mean?'' I add, looking up at him, wishing he'd look back at me. But he never does... 

''For university.'' ''Oh, that,'' is all I say, before taking the next few seconds to think what to proceed with, ''yeah, Tokyo - I guess, still not sure yet.''

''It better be Tokyo or I'm disowning you.'' He says in a stern voice, delivering it with a smirk as he quickly runs his hand through my hair, resulting in becoming a mess.

''Hey!'' I chuckle, about to return the favor but he succeeded to grab my wrist and stop me just on time. Shucks.

Chishiya and I have been friends since childhood, as our dads have been friends since their early school days as well. He's in his third year in med school and I'm about to graduate in less than a month and enter university in few months. Not to mention, living close enough in the same neighborhood visiting Shuntaro's family every Sunday for dinner was a ritual that my dad, Aguni, and I couldn't stop doing. My mother has had enough of Tokyo so she decided to leave for England. Yeah, pretty simple...it has only been dad and me since. Not like I regret staying with dad, and if there was the father that would win The Dad of the Year award, it would be him. Playing cards meanwhile drinking wine was a post-dinner ritual for our dads, later through time, Chishiya joining them as well. In most cases, I'd end up just observing how they play and anticipating who's going to win. From Aguni being the best to, Shuntaro's dad, a few years later as Chishiya evolved enough his cunning games he beat them in it. He became a card game master, no jokes. 

I didn't notice it has come for the time for us to go different paths, as my school was in the complete opposite direction.

''So,'' I murmur, stopping and turning to face him, ''I guess time to say goodbye.''

''Good luck, kid.'' He says, giving me a soft smile. Ah, if he only knew how something so insignificant and minor to him has such a consequence on my heart. But he never will though. As I know, what we are and what we are not. 

I just smiled as I watch him turn his back on me and leave first. He always leaves first. I stayed few more seconds as his figure slowly fades of to distance I get ready to go my way.

                                                        ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ 

 After the last class, I choose to go to a nearby library to catch up on some assignments. The library is a soft of the enormous coffee shop yet one can stay all day and feel good even if one buys nothing at all. That's the discrepancy. It is a place of welcome for everyone rather than for "customers." This is not a money-nexus venue yet a love-nexus space, and that makes it a real treasure in this city.

I was relinquished and dazzled by the book in front of me, until the moment someone’s voice yanks me out of my thoughts.

''Since classes are over, want to grab lunch?'' I feel a hand placing softly on my left shoulder as a soft boyish voice peaks behind me.

''Niragi,'' my lips stretch in a smile as I embrace my best friend in a hug, ''of course, you mind if Chishiya tags along as well?''

''Oh,'' he mouths, providing it with a vague look, as I feel him stiffen up a bit and breaking the hug before proceeding, ''Chishiya..too?'' 

''Yeah!'' 

''Sure,'' he says, providing it with a soft smile, ''definitely..'' 

''Great, I'll let him know then.'' 

                                                        ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ 

Niragi and I walked after school side by side, on the way to Shibuya where we agreed to meet up with Chishiya. As we have arrived early, we stand by a big poster advertisement. I gently lean my back onto it, facing the industrious avenues of Shibuya wandering with people. Niragi, leaning as well, right next to me. 

''So, have you decided? Is it going to be Tokyo or London?'' 

''Hm,'' I murmur as his question breaks me out of my trance, ''regarding studies?'' He nods. 

''Honestly, not sure,'' I hesitate, before proceeding, ''but I'd love to stay in Tokyo.'' This was not a lie, but London on the other hand, was just an excuse in case my health gets worse. An agreement was made with my dad that it'd be best to stay there with my mom and focus on getting better. 

''Tokyo.'' I sigh, still caught up thinking what if I have to end up having to go back to London. What do I do then? And more importantly, what do I tell them? The minor, simple thought of lying to the people I deeply care about stings. 

''And you?'' 

''Tokyo,'' he says softly while looking down, smiling - as the thought if he had something that binds him to dwell in this city, ''I already got accepted in for game engineering.'' 

I knock him softly on top of his head, standing on my tippy toes. Though he was portrayed as the delicate and sweet guy he is, he was taller than both Chishiya and me. 

''Ouch,'' he exclaims as his hand rests on top of his head, my action catching him off guard, ''why did you do that?'' 

''Why haven't you told me, little idiot?'' 

''I planned to,'' he giggles, a wide smile as I've never seen scattering across his delicate features, ''I was waiting for you to confirm you got in your desired major as well.'' 

Yeah, I have, Niragi. It's just that I might not even be able to go because of my health. The phrases, the verdict, that I desired I could have mouthed out. But I couldn't, not now. Not when we're about part ways, and the way I want to remember these recollections is by them as their happy-selves, us cycling through alleys of Tokyo, eating noodles in the park during chilly nights, by city lights as the background noise of crickets was vetoed by our laughter. The recollections, moments I'll protect in my psyche permanently. 

I just remained silent, looking at my friend as he was smiling and looking off to distance till he started waving to someone. I shift my gaze only to see Chishiya's figure approaching us, hands in his pockets as usual. 

''Hello there, peasants.'' Chishiya teases, as he finally approaches us.

''Excuse me, lord Shuntaro.'' Niragi scoffs at him, crossing his arms.

''So where will we head to?'' 

''Whoa, Morizono, not even embracing your friend in a warm hug and you're already talking about eating,'' Chishiya says falsifying pain in his voice, ''I'm hurt.''

 ''Chishiya,'' I let out, rolling my eyes at his statement, ''I know you don't do hugs.'' I proceed, nudging his forearm slightly, hoping that the warmth I felt growing in my cheeks wasn't showing. 

''Fuunji or Ichiran Shibuya?'' Niragi says, clicking his tongue. 

''Fuunji,'' I mutter, at the same time as Chishiya adds, ''Ichiran.'' Our eyes met instantly as we both realized our choices were different.

Do I have to mention that I'm probably already blushing? No, because heck - yes I am. 

Oh boy, here we go. Let him have his way, Y/N. 

As you always do. 

''You know what, let's go to Ichiran,'' I exclaim, looking in between my best friends waiting for them to agree. 

''Ichiran it is,'' Niragi exclaims. 

A little while later, our food has finally arrived. The moment it lands on the table, Niragi digs at his sweet and sour soup and pulls out all the cubes of carrot. I don't say anything, I really couldn't care less about table manners and there's always something interesting going on in his head. Chishiya calm and collected as he is, starts eating at a slow pace. After swallowing his first bite, he breaks the silence, ''we must go somewhere to celebrate your birthday, Y/N.'' 

''I'm not sure-''

Niragi peeks up at me with sticky fingers in his mouth. Meanwhile, Chishiya adds, through the mouthful, that I could just about make out the name "Kyoto."

As my mouth was full of food as well, I just nod seriously. 

"That's a great idea, Chishiya. I never thought of that." Niragi grins, still with the fingers in his mouth, then he scoops them up and lines them neatly next to his stocking.

Chishiya holds out a cup of soju, "for Y/N." Niragi's hand comes over and snatches it up, his grin as wide as his cheeks will stretch, and scatters back.

Chishiya and I just exchanged looks, laughing at his silliness.

We drank soju, we were already merry and full, we told the most terrible of jokes. That was us. Casual, informal, yet caring enough to make the time we spend together joyful. 

                                                         ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ 

After grabbing lunch with Chishiya and Niragi, I headed straight home. The thought of visiting Kyoto for my birthday with them was still bouncing on my mind. The thing is, how to bring it up to Aguni? Hm? As loving and fond as he is of both of them, the thought of sending his only daughter away with two boys on a trip probably sounded far away from a brilliant idea. Sigh, I guess it'll take a lot to convince him. 

''Dad, I'm home!'' I exclaim, meanwhile closing the doors behind me and taking off my shoes in the hallway. 

''Someone's back home early, huh?'' Aguni says chuckling, as he plants a soft kiss on my forehead. 

''Yup, something smells delightful,'' I say, meanwhile slapping my hands in excitement and taking my seat. 

''Ah, you sneaky,'' He adds, taking the seat as well across me, ''it's your favorite - pad thai chicken wok.'' 

''So,'' I began, meanwhile randomly picking food with chopsticks in my plate, ''I have a question.'' 

''Yes?'' Aguni murmurs, mouthful, gazing up at me. ''So you know that my birthday is next week...'' I say awkwardly, placing my chopsticks gently on the table. 

''Of course, how would I forget my daughter's birthday?'' He scoffs, butthurt that his daughter thinks he's that forgetful. 

''No, of course not.'' I chuckle, ''but I did want to ask you something, uh...'' 

''Go ahead, silly.'' 

Just say it. Now or never. And I do - ''I've been thinking of visiting Kyoto with Chishiya and Niragi-'' 

''Not happening.'' 

''But-'' 

''You? On a trip? With two boys?'' his voice stern as he glares up at me, causing me to swallow, ''you must be out of your mind to think I'll let you, Y/N. Boys your age are wild.'' 

''No, there's going to be more of other friends...too, from school.'' I start, slightly panicking as I was also trying to think of the ways to get him to approve, ''not just Chishiya and Niragi, although you know they're my closest friends.'' I proceed further, looking around the food on the table, as I noticed he has almost cleared out his plate, and yet there was still chicken left in mine. Splendid, a perfect way to bribe him now.

''Plus,'' I mutter, as I start taking out the chicken from my plate, putting on his, his eyes now fully focused on that chicken, ''I know you trust them enough to protect me if anything happens, right?'' I grin, awkwardly. 

''Only because they are aware who's your father and someone not to mess with.'' He adds, still not convinced enough, but still taking the small pieces of chicken with his chopsticks. 

''Uh, yeah,'' I murmur, as I watch him, eating up those last few pieces of chicken as if they are his last, ''beside your protectiveness, what do you think?''

''Y/N, you've forgot one thing.'' Aguni says with a serious tone, placing down his chopsticks. 

''What?'' I question, acting dumb. Expecting him to answer, he just remains silent and gives me an even worse glare now, ''doctor's appointment,'' I add, ''come on, it doesn't have to be next week as well. Just check with them if they can postpone it.''   

He preserves silent, still staring up at me with a serious look on his face. Sigh.

''A trip with my friends is more important. Not to mention, it's our last as we're all parting ways soon because of university.''  

''To you. But to me, your health is more important Y/N.''

''I...understand, dad,'' I sigh, looking up at him, falsifying a smile, ''but look at me, I'm feeling fine. I've never been better.''

''Same as you claimed in the past, until it happened again and I was close to losing you forever.'' He asserts, this time his voice louder than before.

''Dad...cheer up,'' I exclaim, as I reach out my hand, placing it on top of his, ''it's...just because it happened then, doesn't mean it will happen again.''

''You don't know that. Your condition is serious-''

''I'll take care of myself. Alright?'' I murmur, squeezing his hand, ''please, can I go?''   

''Alright, alright. Under one condition, take care of yourself and as soon as you get back we're going to the doctors. Promise?''

''I promise.'' I holler, lunging from my seat to hug him before storming off to my room. As soon as I shut the door behind me, I lean my back on it. 

There was an eerie sentiment I felt within, a good sort though - just not sure for what exact reason yet. It felt like it was the calling card of an adventure, paths awaiting, what will transpire. Whatever was ahead could be a great challenge, and there could be tears, but it was an exploration to take and so I smiled. The inklings would come, perhaps when I’d least expected it, so I’m ready to take this leap of faith.

[bookishofalder]

Saviours Coffee House [Prologue]

Summary: Negan hires a new manager.

Warnings: Language! We’re starting off tame, but get ready because future parts get dark. WC—+2.7k.

A/N: Even if you aren’t a The Walking Dead fan, you might like this story—it’s a coffee shop A/U, I really only take the characters from TWD!

Now

Your eyes were only on Negan as he stalked forward, his normally bright eyes dark with fury as he clenched the baseball bat in his hands. You’d never seen him so angry...you’d never seen anyone so angry. Apprehension coiled in your gut, your mind blank, a doe caught in the headlights. You knew you had to move, to stop him—but part of you almost didn’t want to.

It was the part of you that had been beaten and broken over and over screaming for it to end. Screaming for you to let it happen.

And fuck, you wanted to listen to her.

Maybe you would.

—

Way Back

Negan Dean was sat at his desk, staring at the computer monitor in front of him without really seeing it. His mind had wandered away from the shop's accounting, the task he needed to complete. He had reason to be distracted, though, as he was in desperate need of a new manager, and he had a few interviews lined up that afternoon.

He’d put off rehiring for too long, left the manager position open and simply worked himself to the bone, running the place and leading it. But it had been months.

He’d needed to keep busy, after Lucille...no, he wasn’t thinking of her today. He needed to get the accounts sorted, have some lunch, and then start the interviews.

That was today’s game plan, and he was sticking to it. The extra work had finally caught up to him, as he knew it would. He was ready to step back because he was fucking exhausted and wanted to focus on his role as the owner of the Saviours Coffee House, behind the scenes. He needed a full-time manager to run the floor, someone smart and competent and good with people.

Simon had been on his ass for a while now about it, but he’d resolutely ignored his long-time friend, too stubborn for his own good. He knew Simon was right. But it was going to be on his fucking orders that a new person joined the tea—his family—even if it meant he’d fallen asleep in his office some nights, slumped over his desk in pure exhaustion.

Negan finished his task and stood, stretching out the kinks in his back, before making his way out onto the loft that overlooked most of the shop below. He had a few couches up here, and a little kitchenette next to his office, the area acting as a staff room in many ways; customers could not come up. At the opposite end of the loft, a door led up to the next floor, which was Negan’s condo. He’d bought the entire three-storey after the recession, gutted the whole thing and, working with a crew of mostly friends who had various trade jobs, renovated it entirely.

Negan was proud of Saviours Coffee House, a dream that he hadn’t always had come to life in the walls of what used to be an old, relatively small, textile factory. Now situated in the heart of downtown, it was the perfect spot for an edgy, laid-back place to unwind, meet friends, go on dates. Hell, Negan loved looking down and seeing a customer stay the whole day as they worked, even if they only bought one coffee. As far as he was concerned, the moment you spent a dime in his place, you were a customer for the day. And that had been a hit with many of the locals and students from the nearby university. Open five-thirty in the morning till eleven-thirty in the evening, Saviours welcomed all. So long as you kept your feet off the fucking tables and minded your manners.

In his former life, Negan worked as a high-ranking guard at the nearby penitentiary. It was a minimum-security, well-funded place where non-violent criminals ended up. He’d loved his years there, but after getting stabbed for the second time (the first was when he was young enough that he’d bounced back almost instantly) he decided to retire.

He sunk all of his savings into this dream, and years later had a lot to show for it. He’d also met a lot of down on their luck men in his time as a guard, so after Saviours became successful, he started a hiring program for white-collar criminals who completed a local, not-for-profit reintegration program. He only kept two on at a time, and most moved on after saving up enough.

Currently at the bar was Dwight, who’d been with Negan the longest now, having started just over a year before after getting out from serving time for drug possession. If Negan was proud of anything, it was Dwight. He’d seen the man evolve from a quiet asshole who barely grunted when customers paid, to a friendly bartender who mixed both amazing lattes and delicious cocktails, even if he grumbled about it. He was a fixture here now as much as Negan—and probably more well-liked, but Negan didn’t care about being liked. As long as people were happy, he was just fine.

It was the post-lunch lull now, so Dwight was wiping up the counters and switching the signs around from daytime menus to evening. Maggie, who had been working at Saviours for about two years, was wiping down the tables while Fleetwood Mac played over the expensive Bluetooth stereo system. He’d asked Maggie if she wanted the job, but she’d only laughed before telling him plainly that she had no desire to work full time or see him that much. He’d figured as much, seeing as she was in university, but he had wanted her to know it was hers if she did want it—she’d earned it.

Dwight was happy where he was, and didn’t want to upset the balance in life he’d worked so hard for, which Negan respected. His newest employee, also a convict hire, wasn’t up to scruff to become the manager, as much as he liked Paul, or ‘Jesus’, as everyone called him. He was a nice kid, worked hard, but seemed content working three part-time jobs. That had left Rosita and Tara, both part-time and students, and then Carol, part-time and not interested as she worked as a volunteer at the Children’s Hospital and didn’t want to give that up.

Which left him where he was now, stomping up the steps to his place to have a quick lunch before back-to-back interviews of promising contenders for a job he wished like hell he didn’t need to fill.

+

“Jesus. Fucking. Christ.” Negan slammed his hands onto the marble counter in frustration as Dwight watched him. He smirked as he tidied up the barista station.

“That bad, boss?” Dwight was shit at keeping the amusement off of his face. Negan scoffed, glancing behind him to ensure no customers were listening, but it was busy enough now with the after-class and work rush that the cacophony of voices and music allowed him to speak privately despite the location.

Negan held up one hand, holding his thumb and index finger a sliver apart. “I’ve got this much fucking patience left. Only one candidate wasn’t a god damned catfish and I didn’t like him,” He sighed, nodding gratefully when Dwight pointed to the espresso machine, knowing Negan needed his usual five o'clock pick-me-up. “I’ve got one last one; Daryl's friend. If she doesn’t fit, I’m going to have to beg Maggie—and you know she’ll love that too much to say yes.”

With a laugh, Dwight nodded in agreement, expertly moving about making Negan’s latte. “Carol seemed pretty sure you’d like her, said Daryl thinks of her like a little sister and when he heard you were looking for someone he was adamant she’d be perfect.”

Negan sighed, “Yeah, and I like Daryl so if this doesn’t work out and I have to start hating him I’m going to be real pissed off. Thanks, D.” He added when Dwight passed over the piping hot drink, still grinning at Negan’s displeasure.

Dwight dipped his head forward, eyes behind Negan, “I think that must be her, don’t recognize her and she’s dressed too nice for this place.” With that, he turned away and started loading dishes into one of the dishwashers. Negan turned, eyes scanning for the potential candidate, and he didn’t have to look far.

Because there you were, right out of a fucking dream.

Dwight had been right, you were dressed far too nicely for Saviours, but perfect for an interview (which instantly gave you points over a few of the previous interviewees). You were weaving by a few men who were standing at a high table and hadn’t yet noticed Negan, which allowed him to survey you.

The pretty green dress paired with a smart leather jacket and shiny kitten heels gave off an air of sophistication, accentuated your curves beautifully, and rendered his mind to mush for a brief moment. You wore your hair down, and it fell in elegant waves around your shoulders. Fuck, though, if you weren’t the prettiest woman he’d ever laid eyes on.

He thought Carol had mentioned you were in your mid-twenties, but you walked with more confidence about you than one usually saw in those formative years. Already impressed, Negan pushed himself away from the counter, stepped forward and smiled.

You looked around, his movement catching your eye, and returned the smile warmly as you approached. No doubt, you’d looked up their social media, seen pictures of Negan. Any smart candidate would do that, and Negan could already tell you were a clever girl. He called your name over the music, and you nodded, extending your hand

Negan took it into his and shook, enjoying how small your hand was compared to his. You were curvy and petite in the best ways, so much shorter than him but fully voluptuous, and you dressed like you knew you looked damn good, fuck whatever society said about beauty standards. “Mr. Dean, it’s great to meet you, sir.”

Negan grinned down at you, then pointed toward the staircase to your left, “Come on up, it’s quieter in the office.” And he led the way.

When he glanced back to make sure you were following, Negan saw you looking toward Dwight, giving him a friendly wave. He gave you a nod, a near smile, a pretty decent result from the house grump. He needed a manager who could get along with everyone, so right there was another point in your favour.

Closing the door brought the loudness of Saviours down to mere background noise, the evening crowds were always loud as shit. Negan loved it, the differences between the start and end of days, the energy. He gestured toward two armchairs he had, hating the process of sitting behind a desk to interview like he was some hot shot lawyer. He preferred the less intimidating, friendly way. It was just a coffee shop, after all.

A damn good one, though.

When you settled, Negan took his seat across from you, suddenly feeling a little distracted under the gaze of your bright eyes. “Well I’ll get straight to it; you come highly recommended by both Carol and Daryl. I won’t lie, I’m a pain in the ass to work for and I’m looking for someone who can handle hard work, long hours and most importantly, get along with my people. You really think that’s you?”

You were sitting with your back straight, legs crossed at the ankles, hands in your lap. You looked entirely at ease, meeting Negan’s eyes straight on as he spoke. When he finished, you leaned forward almost imperceptibly, your response instant.

“I’m exactly what you’re looking for, sir. I love people and get along with everyone. Do you think I’m best friends with Daryl and don’t know how to deal with a pain in the ass?” At this, Negan smirked, “I’m hardworking, and I have no other major commitments, so full time and long hours will suit me just fine.” You had a lovely voice, which was probably why you’d stayed working at the sales call centre for years before now.

In your resume, Negan had noted the year gap in wor—you had stopped working for the call centre just over a year ago, though it was noted you were a freelance writer and kept income that way. But he found it curious that you’d been working since you were a teenager and yet hadn't worked a solid job in a year. And now that he’d met you, he could see you were the hardworking type. Carol hadn’t known why you’d been away from a job for so long, stating that Daryl knew but didn’t tell her. He had said it didn’t matter, and that was good enough for Negan.

“Well, I’ll admit, on paper you’re ideal, which is why I scheduled you last today. I wanted to have time to read you.”

“And,” You interjected, a small smirk on your lips, “You know that keeping someone waiting the whole day for an interview will shred their nerves and leave them more susceptible to letting their true colours out.”

Negan stared, surprised, “Can’t get much past you, eh?”

You shrugged, “It’s a good tactic. But I assure you, I’m just as competent in the evening as the morning, and I think if you give me a chance to prove myself, you’ll be very happy with hiring me, Mr. Dean. I want to work here, you have an amazing place. It’s a part of this community, and the reintegration program is something I respect greatly, I have no issues working with men hired from there.” You paused, adjusting yourself slightly, palms falling open on your legs, “And, I’ll be frank, I want a job that has long days, that’ll keep me busy and tire me out and let me build relationships with customers. When I found out you were hiring, I jumped on the chance for Daryl to have Carol put in a good word for me. It just seems...right, to work here.”

“What about your writing, do you still do that?” Negan watched your face closely, and it didn’t waver, instead, your smile widened.

“I can write anywhere, anytime. And I make my own schedule with whatever commissions I take on, so it’ll be easy to write on my days off, or breaks if I don’t have a day off,” You pointed at Negan’s phone, which he’d set on the wide arm of his chair, “I can also help with writing any social media or website content, I know Carol mentioned you wanted to expand that presence, and I’m comfortable with that sort of work.”

Negan considered you, letting a comfortable silence fall as he thought over your words. You did seem eager, excited, and the fact that you’d researched what he was looking for impressed him further. Breaking eye contact, he glanced down at your resume once more, though he couldn’t think of anything else to ask. If he was honest with himself, he was ready to hire you after the first two minutes.

“I like you,” He said, thrumming his hands on his knees, “When can you start?”

“In the morning? Or I can go home, have my dinner and come back dressed more appropriately for work, if you need me straight away, sir.”

Negan shook his head, both as a response and in an attempt to toss away the thoughts that stirred up in the back of his mind every time you called him ‘sir’. “Tomorrow morning is perfect. And since you work for me now, you can call me Negan, asshole, or shithead, no more ‘Mr. Dean’ or fucking, ‘sir’, okay?”

When you smiled at Negan, it was the most dazzling he’d seen yet, bright white teeth and sweet dimples making his heart stutter. Damn, you really affected him. He needed to get a gri—you were half his age, for Christ's sake.

“Thank you, Negan,” You stood, holding your hand out and grasping his when he offered, your head tilting back to look at him as he stood before you. “Really, I promise I’ll make you proud.”

“Kid, I don’t doubt it.” He replied softly, and for a moment you simply looked at one another. Negan wasn't sure if you felt it, but he did; it was a spark. Fleeting, but strong enough that he knew life was about to get interesting again.

Taglist: @mermaidxatxheart @paintballkid711 @ladydmalfoy 🤍

[nabrizoya]

RoW Theories and Things I Want to See

with RoW literally a few weeks away, here’s some theories your way. 

this is Really long. like, really very long; mind you. 

Nikolai might become a disabled character.

It’s just the vibes. If we can take reference from the Too Clever Fox story, there’s a line that says “...and his [Koja’s] fur never quite sat right the same...”, which might hint at it (mostly bc i don’t want him to die). Also if this is indeed possible, it can be used to address ableism if it exists in this universe, especially since Nikolai is someone in the highest position of power. 

Zoya will experiment the shit out of powers. 

Idk why the synopsis says that using her powers might be a great deal, which tbf will be because she is truly the most most powerful atm; but Zoya wouldn’t mind taking the step outside of the old norms and bend the orders until they serve their purpose. That’s the entire goal rly.

But all along, she will consciously keep herself mindful to not hunger or discharge her power in a way that may cause harm. She knows the tyranny of the Darkling and the ways he employed. She knows better. 

More character depth to Zoya. 

Given the excerpts, the book does seem to explore Zoya’s infinite grief. And of course her Suli heritage, which a great part of the fandom consistently wants to shadow what with the talk “white features/ part Ravkan” bs. 

But there’s more. I hope RoW will show Zoya’s dilemma (that was alr hinted in KoS) she has with the power she holds, the responsibility she has with having that power + using it in the way that will not be detrimental to her and the country. It will be a great way to portray her self-awareness and doubt and insecurity. She is a good leader, that much is told in text but not shown. There’s character development from the end of R&R until KoS that makes her evolve from a what she was then to the capable and mature 22 year old she is in KoS. 

Of course all of their capabilities will come to light in RoW but I think Zoya and the agency to her as a character will play an integral part. More so because Zoya is to be the conduit to reversing the current Grisha orders, which runs in parallel with the fact that she needs to go back, go back to the roots of her Grisha knowledge and roots of her i.e. her unending grief and trauma. 

She will need to forgive herself while also dealing with the guilt and anger she may have caused due to her position and power. All of this while dealing with her own complex and contrasting emotions due to her own trauma.

Nikolai is held for treason. 

The word of allying with The Darkling may be out and that is enough reason for the entire country to turn against him. The secret about the monster causes issues more than enough already, and this will plunge the country into deep political turmoil and threats to security. So RoW will be more politically driven. That said...

There’s no overt war. 

By this I mean that there will not be war on the battlefield, both armies or more charging at each others’ enemies and such. Ravka cannot afford one either. The excerpts have already proved that. There will be skirmishes akin to a war scenario, but a complete battle like the last battle in R&R? Like a final battle? That’s not going to be there, I think… What I’m assuming might happen is that the Fjerda and Ravka will take a possible Cold War route, if it isn’t already the case they’re already dealing with atm. 

Ravka’s monarchy will collapse. 

It may become a democracy or any other form of public or majority vote. But the monarchy (as well a possible dictatorship, esp with the Darkling returned) will be eliminated. ...Or so I hope, since it has been alluded to in KoS. 

But that poses many problems. With no one line for the throne, let alone with a crime so dark like a blot on Nikolai’s skill (of taking the Darkling’s help), it is possible that Ravka will shun it, right alongside being torn about it because Nikolai has been, for the best of his ability, a good King. All of this in line with the Resistance rising in West Ravka. 

This ties in with the court matters, especially if I want to hold the further points I make true. The resolution to acquit Nikolai of his charges requires a testification forth a jury which will then make a decision about his motives and future. 

Zoya as the Interim Head. 

After all of this, Zoya’s point about Ravka not accepting a Grisha Queen will be true after all, because there will be no monarchy to welcome such an arrangement. 

But Ravka will need a good and trustworthy leader despite Grisha powers and Zoya is the best person to take care of that. The comment “...becoming a steady leader...” and the “Welcome home, Commander,” were there in KoS for a reason (and this is what I think it will link to). 

That being said, there’s more nuance to this than my summary. Zoya is a character of colour. That—in addition to the already existing threats, objections and possible question of capability in the position—ill play into how she will be able to discharge her responsibility. It’s not going to be convenient.

EDIT: taken from a reblog/addition to the og post:

A smoother/more structured transition

Once after the monarchy collapses and a leader must be chosen, it will not be Nikolai. Nor will it be Zoya, though she might serve as an interim head. What I assume might be possible is that someone older is chosen, someone older and loyal and with the proof of knowledge and service to the country. Possibly by majority vote or elected by a council.

Instead of the sudden change, this can be a smoother (if that can even be said about such a major political scenario change) or more structured. I also say this because a. if Nikolai is indeed charged (and later acquitted), firstly his political career will already hold a blot if the word about using the Darkling as a resource is out and secondly, he’s way too young to serve as the leader (by modern standards, sure, but like, the required age will be set while drafting the constitution? currently its 35+).

Instead, the current cast can become representatives (which Zoya would already be, (mostly the head of the) international committee that safeguards the Grisha all over the world) and the Triumvirate will be dissolved. (it should be, tbh)

And hey, b. after all of this, they can and kind of need to take a step back. Nikolai and Zoya will be able to truly explore their relationship, given how Nikolai mentions how he wouldn’t marry unless he’d have had the chance to court someone and marry someone he barely knows nor knows him. For Zoya’s part, she does know Nikolai but surely probably not the extent of openness that a healthy relationship has, and on Nikolai’s part, he admits he barely knows her beyond as a General except for just little things about her.

They could be able to realize and work on their feelings while alongside being involved with the workings of the country and the constitution.

“One day you will overstep and I will not be so forgiving.” 

Need I say more? Something that Zoya does will cost her Nikolai’s goodwill and we know Zoya knows her practicality and the extent to which she will unapologetically move if there is threat to the country and its King. She will do what was right and required. 

A major part of that line ties in with Magnus Opjer and I think with the confidence in the versatility of her powers, Zoya might as well move w/o any word to the Triumvirate to eliminate the most direct threat to the throne. This will bring splits in Nikolai and Zoya’s relationship. 

How this tension between them will be resolved without compromising either of their values, without playing into fandom stereotypes and others must be carefully handled. All of this while showing the best of their dynamicity, practicality and priority as they carefully pull out just those weak sticks of the jenga without putting the whole country into trouble. And with a war in plain sight, they’d know better than pointlessly argue and would rather see how the two of them are wrong. This ordeal will bring out just how condensed power is in the current scenario, imo. 

Importance on the way women have shaped history. 

Something that KoS has already set precedence for. Zoya being a PoC, Nina taking into account of the sufferings of women she comes across and the consistent ‘Who will remember them?’ will be elaborated on further. As for how it is done and how well it is done, that remains to be seen. 

Baghra is alive but maybe not thriving bc she’s stuck in the Ice Court. 

They entered a chamber where an old woman sat with her hands chained, flanked by guards. Her eyes were vacant. As each prisoner approached, the woman gripped his or her wrist.

A human amplifier. [...] But the Fjerdans used them for a different purpose – to make sure no Grisha breached their walls without being identified.

Kaz watched Nina approach. He could see her trembling as she held out her arm. The woman clamped her fingers around Nina’s wrist. Her eyelids stuttered briefly. Then she dropped Nina’s hand and waved her along.

Had she known and not cared? Or had the paraffin they’d used to encase Nina’s forearms worked?

- Chapter 22. Kaz; Part 4: Trick to Falling, Six of Crows.

Nina will be the one to free her and together they might wage a war from Djerholm together.

This gets even more interesting because we know the anguish and scorn that Baghra feels for her son at the same time; she understands the wrongness that he used to seek and will continue to. Zoya does take Baghra’s name at the Fold when she mourns and rages over how people forget the destruction and most importantly, forget the women. Baghra could be the symbol of the stag as the art piece depicts, or will be shown with relation to the Darkling’s powers.

As for how she will play into the story, perhaps she will be the one to help reverse and find the roots of the orders, in the sense that changes the perception of the Grisha powers for the Grisha as well as the common folk of Ravka. She is the only other person other than Juris and the Darkling to have the age of eras together, knowing Ilya Morozova, and she will be instrumental in giving Ravka an advantage over Fjerda. Either that or she will help in scrubbing the prejudices of Fjerda slowly away with whatever powers she has left. Or both. 

Alina will reappear, but will not contribute to the plot significantly.

Zoya understands that the truth she knows about the Darkling is very minimal not enough to end him for once and for all. It makes sense that she will probably consult Alina for it. So, Malina appearance, possibly at the orphanage. Alina will not directly contribute to this war, but she will play a critical role in defeating the Darkling.

Besides, Alina —and Baghra— are the only ones who know that there has only ever been two Darklings. Zoya did sense, multiple times during KoS, that the Darkling is damn old. Yuri mentions it. And while it is not outright specified, the fact that Zoya thinks that she realizes just how ancient Lizabetha is in context of meeting the Darkling is enough proof for her to seek more information about the age and the older skill of the Darkling. 

And I think it goes without saying that I want to hope that the Darkling and Alina will not meet. Pls, she’s had enough. 

Lada is the lost, other friend that Zoya refuses to bury. 

“She saw her mentor die and her worst enemy resurrected, and she refuses to bury another friend.”

Liliyana is dead, we know. But there’s no other mention of Lada except for the “wondering what happened to the pug faced girl.” Lada is possibly a part of the group of women and a Grisha returning to Ravka from Fjerda, exploited by the parem. She might die being unable to withhold the sheer torment of the parem induction, which will devastate Zoya because Lada was also the closest she’s had to a family with Liliyana. 

Either that or Lada is already dead or dies some other way, and Zoya cannot bring herself bear the grief of losing her. 

Cameos: Inej and Jesper. 

The most likely of the crows to appear in RoW are Inej and Jesper and they’ll play equally important roles in the plotline. Here’s a breakdown of why:

Inej

Inej has taken the responsibility of becoming a slave hunter, and it makes sense for Inej to make an appearance in the book, given that there’s going to be a ship taking the Grisha from Fjerda to Ravka. 

The women aboard are vulnerable and require immediate attention, which Inej will immediately zero in on. She will have enough reason to suspect both Leoni and Adrik on the ship, especially when the jurda parem is still a secret. Leoni and Adrik cannot give that information away because they don’t trust Inej (and have no reason to either). Inej won’t trust them either, not until she understands that the reason why the women are being taken to Ravka and for what reasons. 

Which gives her excellent reason to step in, try to analyze the situation and help the women accordingly.

Here’s an exciting thought though. Once after the entire misunderstanding is overcome and Inej understands (esp. if Nina is brought into the conversation and security and secrecy of the conversation is ensured), there may be discussion about how the Grisha might find a safer space in Ravka.

Inej’s appearance might also extend to playing a pivotal role in giving Zoya the confidence to seek her heritage and where she hails from, to embrace the part of her past and forgive herself and others for her mistakes. 

ALSO, 

Grisha finding a safer space in Ravka will mean that Inej can pitch Jesper’s case for him to Zoya. Being the highest authority who takes cares of the responsibilities of the Grisha, Zoya will be the best person to talk about this with. 

And so, here comes Jesper. 

Jesper

For one, I wish Jesper and Leoni interact, talk and just bond like the iconic siblings they would be. <3 But more than that, Jesper plays very integral to the plot for more reasons.

Jesper’s arc will parallel Zoya’s. Both of them are new to their powers in their own individual sense; Zoya is trying to use her new powers in a way that hasn’t been done before, thereby breaking the Grisha orders of powers and Jesper (assuming he has decided that he might want to learn and embrace his Grisha powers) is learning them afresh. 

This journey of them trying to embrace, learn and relearn and reject older norms and experiment really work in tandem.

That will lead us to a further (plot) theories. 

Ties with Novyi Zem 

As of the KoS end, Ravka has no support from anyone atm. Sure the Kerch will provide funds but Ravka has no real allies. Here’s where Novyi Zem and Jesper come in. 

We know Novyi Zem is a new country and also that it is the second safest country for the Grisha in the universe. As of KoS, their agreements are not renewed and they would be since between Kerch and Novyi Zem, Ravka was forced to pick Kerch. Yet Ravka needs their help in acquiring jurda for the antidote. 

So here’s the deal: Ravka will get their jurda but at many conditions that the Novyi Zem will impose on Ravka to not let exploitation get in the way. 

The conditions imposed could be (these are just some at the top of my head but I hope there are more to ensure the safety and security of the Zemeni, in Novyi Zem and in Ravka too) : 

Naval support from Ravka

We know of the Zemeni ships and ofc Nikolai has been hard at work trying to develop plans to use the sea to its fullest advantage. While the news of the izmars’ya isn’t public, Zemeni can place a condition for technical aid from Ravka since Ravka does have the technical knowledge it can dispatch as a condition.

A Grisha School in Novyi Zem

Think about it. Ravka, despite being the safest place for the Grisha, still isn’t entirely safe. Not all Grisha become soldiers in Ravka, they have a choice to abstain but those who are training are still recruited a honed for purpose alike preparing for war, especially the teens and preteens from the time of the Civil War. The training does take a lot of time. Ravka intends to make a home first and then service, but at the moment, while the Grisha are provided safety, it’s not assured in the best sense. Both the facts about a home and service are in precarious positions atm.

TL;DR: Ravka isn’t entirely safe for Grisha therefore the Grisha themselves too are not + Ravka is war torn. 

So what happens? 

One of the conditions as the next best country that serves as home to the Grisha, Novyi Zem may put forth the prospect of building a Little Palace like institution for the Grisha in Novyi Zem. It sounds morally wrong in the sense that the Grisha there will also be trained for war, but the war will end and soon, the Grisha will not be subject to serve for something but engage in economic activities as anybody else with the progression of time.

All of this won’t happen immediately either; learning their powers, honing it in the way that is unocnventional from what it had been pre-RoW and that transition + the building of the establishment in Novyi Zem and laying foundation for the  transnational panel or committee for Grisha that Zoya talks about will all take so much time. 

A few Grisha representatives from Novyi Zem can learn at the Little Palace and by the time the construction of the institution is done in Novyi Zem, these Grisha, along with other willing Grisha who either want to return to the country they were born in (like Leoni) or are offered to teach in a different country can do so too. 

There will be stricter terms so as to not ensure exploitation and possible colonization in these nations. 

Zoya mentions in one of her chapters that eventually there will be a need for the a  transnational panel or committee for Grisha. Jesper can Zoya can make it possible, adding in other countries to the panel slowly as the war recedes. 

Kaz and Wylan? 

Least likely to make an appearance, in my opinion. I think they’ll be mentioned plenty of times or brought up once and given great importance for how they can help in the side plot. 

Shu Support: 

This is more a hope than an actually theory dfbkdhjadfh but Makhi might have to step down from the throne because Ehri will take the place; either as a Queen (no...) or she might oversee the process of strengthening Shu Han and finding a leader (if she doesn’t want to become one herself). 

Ehri is capable, more than capable despite the little we know of her from the last chapter in KoS. All I hope is for an understanding and friendship between Nikolai and Ehri (and the subsequent cancelling of the marriage duH) for this to happen. She has little interest in statecraft but with the time she might spend with Nikolai, she might change her views. Even if not then she still gets the happy ending she deserves with Mayu (which is canon at this point rly).

Emotional Development or Breakdowns

Okay but I really, really, really hope we get to see all the three protagonists lose their shit and deal with their trauma, seek help or trying to stop isolating themselves or anything else they do to cope? Nina, Zoya and Nikolai, all of them cry, all of them get to completely lose it, let themselves be human and healthily cope and learn to rely on the people they trust the most. Like the sheer power and potential to show the myriad of ways to deal with grief, sadness, stress and more and make use of the trio’s backgrounds to show healthy and diverse ways of helping themselves, by letting themselves and others help them is just *combusts* Incredible! 

That being said, can I also ask for moments of fear and desolation from the side characters too? Impending war isn’t small business, it will take its toll on people, and all these reactions just cement their fears and what they value the most so. pls. Humanizing them rly. 

The Saving Each Other 

As much as I mostly kinda hate this trope, there are traces in the KoS that Zoya might be the one to end Nikolai’s affliction. On the other hand, there is talk of Nikolai helping Zoya control her powers which seems counterintuitive when you consider that Zoya knows that there is a line that she must never cross and that she is very, very careful about it and will continue to be. 

They can instead be the ones who motivate each other in times of distress as they always do (as shown with how Nikolai tries to gain control over his monster during the burning thorn ritual in KoS, allowing himself the vulnerability but also knowing that giving up will be unforgivable to both himself and Zoya as well) but I seriously do not wish for each other to be the ones directly ending one another's misery. Or perhaps this is just a fear imo that Leigh wouldn’t even take the route of (in which case, thank fuck).

Stab Stab Stab 

Zoya gets the chance to kill the Darkling with the rest of her friends. After all, Darkling does call them all his old friends. Just Julius Caeser him all the way and put a bow tie on the book. *chef’s kiss* Everybody deserves a second chance... at ending a tyrant when it fails the first time. 

+

So far, this is it. Rule of Wolves is in less than a few weeks and im- asdfghjkl. not Ready. i’m more Worried than Ready.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

A Place To Call Home: Dads

Summary: When the reader gets an offer to make some money on the side, things quickly evolve to Jensen learning about where some of the reader and TJ’s money has been going, namely TJ’s father. Jensen offers to help out but discovers that Rick might be up to something... 

Masterlist

Square: A Place To Call Home

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader

Word Count: 7,600ish

Warnings: language, angst (so much family angst), minor injury

A/N: Written for @supernatural-jackles​ Tell Me A Story Bingo. This part takes place after the Halloween timestamp. Enjoy!

______

“Thank you, Barry,” you said as he left the office at the brewery. Your head was still up when your dad slipped inside and he shut the door. “What’s up?”

“There’s a talent scout out in the draft room,” he said.

“Fascinating,” you said, going back to reading over a contract with a new distributor.

“Y/N they’re here to see you.” You turned in your seat and stared at him, breaking out into a giggle. “I’m serious.”

“This is by far your worst prank yet.”

“You modeled some of the new merch last week? He’s here for you,” he said.

“To what, model?” you scoffed. “No thank you.”

“Well can you go tell him that because he was insisting on hearing it from you,” he said. You sighed and walked out front, a guy in a suit with no tie on sipping from a glass. He smiled when he saw your dad behind you. 

“Ms. Ackles,” he said, holding out his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“It’s Mrs. Hanover,” you said with a friendly enough smile. 

“You’re clearly used to some hard negotiations.”

“I’m tougher than I look Mr…”

“Elbridge but please call me Dan.”

“What can I do for you today, Dan?” you asked. He walked out to a quieter spot by the railing, settling at one ot the standing tables.

“I work for a talent agency, Mrs. Hanover. We’ve worked with your father a few times when he was starting out,” he said, your dad giving a nod. “We’ve seen your modeling pictures and we’re very interested in you doing a shoot.”

“I appreciate the offer but my answer is no. I’m not a model or an actress or any of the things my parents are besides someone invested in this brewery,” you said.

“She is a tough cookie,” he said as he looked at your dad. “I’m assuming you told her nothing I told you.”

“You gotta sell it on your own,” he said.

“Y/N, we’d like you to be in a commercial with some other women. An underwear commercial.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s a commercial for inclusivity for people with differences,” he said.

“He means the scar on your back, Y/N. From the accident,” said your dad.

“You’re exactly the kind of person we want included in the line. There’ll be a photo run of things too and-“

“Why exactly do you know I have a scar on my back?”

“Your Instagram. I assumed it was public knowledge.”

“Okay but it’s not even that big. Like it blends in. I’m boring. Get like, an amputee or a burn survivor. That’s inclusive. I’m average.”

“We have a vast array of women in the line including those types and all kinds of body types. But you’re...a brand name we could put to the project.”

“Brand name,” you said. He hummed and you laughed. “My dad? That’s a brand name, not me. Throw him in some underwear and I’m sure you’ll get all the attention you want.”

“Well we want you,” he said. He pulled out a business card and handed it over. “Our initial offer is on the back but we’re open to negotiations. Call us if you think you might be interested. Oh and the beer’s great.”

“Thanks,” you said, looking over the card. The guy had wandered off by the time you flipped it over.

“I told him you wouldn’t be interested,” said your dad, sipping from his bottle of water. You blinked at the card, your dad raising an eyebrow. “You’re not considering it are you?”

“Dad,” you said. You flipped the card around and showed it to him, water spitting out of his mouth.

“Hey, Dan,” he said, rushing back and waving him over. Dan smiled as he walked back, drink in his hand.

“I thought that’d-” said Dan before your dad got in his face. “Is there a problem?”

“What are you up to,” he said.

“Dad.”

“Y/N no one gets offered that much money off the street. No one. So I’m gonna ask again. What are you up to?” 

“It’s for a package deal. A photo shoot. A commercial. Ad sponsorship for three months bi-weekly on her social media accounts. We’d also like her to design the set for the commercial. There’s a time crunch of next week so we felt a hundred was a fair offer for that amount of work on short notice,” said Dan. “If she were simply modeling, we’d offer her twenty five but this is our biggest line of the year. You are more than welcome to come along every step of the way.”

“Dan I really do appreciate the offer but I’m not a model. I don’t even remember the last time I wore makeup. I will happily design a set and build if you like and maybe I can do the ad thing but I’m not a model like my parents. Can I talk to my dad for a second?”

He nodded and walked off a ways, your dad sighing.

“Maybe mom could do it or something? She’s done that stuff before,” you said.

“I’m not gonna tell you what to do. Go for the set design for sure. You’re good at it and I know you get to break back into your architecture skills for that. But the rest...once you get on that train you can’t get off.”

“Dad, people already know who I am. I have like...an obnoxious number of followers on my accounts and stuff. My most popular posts? Always about you. I’ve never been in the shadows.”

“I know but that’s different than you doing these things. If you start taking pictures in underwear, you’re gonna attract at least a few weirdos and most of them are harmless but maybe some aren’t and there is a reason that Uncle Cliff still hangs out with me at certain times.”

“It’s a hundred thousand dollars. TJ and I could pay off the lawyer fees for Allie’s adoption finally,” you said. “We could get our mortgage payment down.”

“You’ve never cared about money,” he said. You pursed your lips and he narrowed his eyes. “Are things tight?”

“Dad.”

“Are they?”

“I don’t ask about your finances.”

“I sat down with both you and TJ when you bought the house and even with the renovation costs, your monthly payment was very affordable. Allie’s adoption should have been paid off months ago.”

“Do you stalk our spending now or what?” you shot back.

“Well you haven’t bought a new car or any big expenses. Where’s the money going?” he asked.

“I’ll take the set design and leave it at that,” you said. You brushed past him and over to Dan. 

Thirty minutes later you had a signed contract and were back in your office, your dad grumbling as he walked inside.

“I’m busy,” you said.

“Where’s the money going, Y/N?”

“TJ and I make very good money,” you said, typing up an email. He leaned over the desk and narrowed his eyes. “I took the set design only for twenty. Happy?”

“Why do you need twenty thousand dollars?”

“Coming from the guy who made how much fucking money for a single freaking episode? At least I’m not slutting out my face,” you said. He stood back and slammed the door shut on his way out. You sighed and got up, finding him out back, splitting old pallets down. “Dad I’m sorry.”

“Whatever,” he mumbled. 

“Dad. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

“Yeah you did,” he said. “That is exactly why I didn’t want you doing that shoot. Then all you are is a pretty face.”

He moved a pallet and picked up the axe again, bringing it down in the center.

“Dad.”

“What?” he snapped as he spun around. 

“I said it because I knew it’d make you mad and piss you off and get you to drop it. It’s the only reason I said it. Please stop asking about where my money goes. Please.”

“Are you in trouble?”

“Dad I said to stop asking.”

“Tough shit,” he said with a shrug. “Call me whatever you want. Maybe I get pissed off but I’ll cool off too. I know how much you make and I know how much he makes and I know you two have both been taking side jobs recently. You should have your house paid off by now, not barely making your mortgage. What’s going on and I want the truth.”

“I can’t.”

“What’s TJ involved in,” he said. You looked away and he nodded. “There are very few reasons why you wouldn’t tell me the truth and considering how small Allie and Colin are, he’s the only one I can think of.”

“I can’t.”

“Hey! There you are,” said TJ, walking around the corner with a bag in his hand. “I was out at a ranch nearby for work and figured we could have lunch together.”

“Speak of the little devil,” said your dad. He dropped the axe and TJ set the food on the hood of his truck, cocking his head.

“You okay, Jensen?” he asked.

“Peachy,” he said, putting his hands on his hips when he stopped in front of him. “So. Want to tell me what’s going on with your finances lately?”

TJ glanced to you and you shook your head.

“Nothing,” said TJ quietly.

“You want to try that again and not lie to me this time?” asked Jensen. TJ shook his head and your dad shut his eyes. “If you’re involved in something bad, let me help. I have money.”

“TJ just tell him,” you said. TJ sighed and picked up the food, walking over to the employee picnic area and sat down. You took a seat beside him and TJ handed you a wrapped burrito, your dad sitting across from him.

“I’m not angry. Let me help is all,” said your dad.

“It’s not us who’s in trouble,” said TJ. Your dad looked to you and you nodded. “It’s my dad.”

“Oh you two,” he said, shutting his eyes. “You’re paying off Rick’s debt he owes somebody, aren’t you.”

“Rick owes money to a bookie and...he beat him up kinda bad and we have extra so…” you said, your dad staring at you. “He asked us not to tell anyone.”

“How much?” he asked.

“Five...hundred,” said TJ. 

“Five hundred thousand?” he asked, your heads nodding. “Five hundred thousand? What...how much have you given him already?”

“About half,” said TJ. Your dad shook his head and put his hands over his face, quickly pulling them off. “I know it’s a lot.”

“Yeah…” he said, swallowing to himself.

“We got it covered. Really. At the rate we’re doing extra side work-”

“Kids...you’re both so kind I think you missed something pretty important,” said your dad. 

“I don’t understand,” said TJ. He looked to you and you shrugged. 

“Guys that’s a lot of money. That’s...an extraordinary amount of money to a lot of people. How on earth does your father owe that much money all of a sudden?” asked your dad.

“He made some bets he lost on,” said TJ.

“But how could it be that much. What was the original bet?”

“What?”

“What was the original bet he made and lost on?”

“I don’t know. We figured it must have been like a hundred.”

“So your father bet a hundred, say he lost. That’s two hundred. Say he got some insane interest on it. Okay. Maybe, maybe he truly owes that much. But where did he get that original one hundred?”

“He didn’t have it,” said TJ. “We think.”

“Okay. He bet badly and ends up owing the whole thing,” he said.

“Exactly.”

“Do you give this money to Rick or the bookie?” asked your dad.

“My dad. He didn’t want us to get involved with the guy,” said TJ. 

“Okay,” said your dad. “Here’s what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna drive up to your folks this afternoon TJ and talk to your dad, see what’s left he owes. I will pay the rest.”

“Jensen that’s a lot of money.”

“I know it is. But it’s better to get him out of the hole quickly before something were to happen and I can afford it. Okay? I’m gonna head up. You two enjoy your lunch. I’ll be home in a few hours.”

Something was off about him as he stood and left but you weren’t quite sure what was wrong.

“My dad’s gonna be pissed. He didn’t want Jensen to know at all,” said TJ.

“He wants to help. He’s got a point. The quicker it’s paid off, the quicker your dad’s out of danger. Let’s have lunch and you can tell me about that ranch you’re fixing up.”

“Arrow,” you grumbled that night as she reached for the hot pan. “Let it cool off.”

“Why are we having dinner at your house?” she asked. “No offense but you can only cook like five things.”

“Would you like to cook dinner for seven?” you asked. She held up her hands and you rolled your eyes.

“To be fair, Colin still eats baby food,” she said.

“Thank you for volunteering to feed your nephew,” you said with a grin.

“I didn’t-”

“Ro!” he said as he waddled into the kitchen, wrapping her legs up in a hug.

“I hate you,” she said, narrowing her eyes before she picked him up.

“Thank you Arrow,” you said as she put him on her hip. “He’s got dinner in the fridge if you wouldn’t mind?”

“I got it,” she said, opening it up one handed. “Mom and dad have some last minute thing or something?”

“I don’t know,” you said, your phone ringing, Jared’s name popping up. “Can you get that?”

“Hey Uncle Jared,” she said, hitting it on speaker.

“Arrow? Hey you mind finding your sister for me?” he asked.

“She’s busy making dinner. Apparently it’s very difficult.”

“I’m here Jared,” you said. You grabbed the phone and shoved it between your shoulder and ear. “What’s up?”

“Don’t freak out,” he said. “But come outside.”

You turned down the heat on the stove and went out the front door, finding Jared on the seat out front.

“Uh, what’s up?” you asked, pulling the door shut behind you. “This is weird.”

“Your dad may have...listen. Shit went down when Jensen went up to see TJ’s dad whatever his fuckface name is.”

“Jared.”

“Oh you’re about to call him fuckface too.”

“What happened?”

“Well...he had a bad feeling about this whole thing. He and De went up there to talk to them. Things aren’t...your dad’s in the hospital.”

“What?” you said quietly. He stood up and gave you a smile, pulling you into a hug.

“It’s okay. He got a little cut when he got...pushed,” he said. 

“Jared,” said TJ, stepping outside with a curious look. “What’s up dude?”

“Normally being the Uncle is the fun stuff,” he said. TJ frowned when you both saw a cop car pull into your driveway, Cody getting out. “Codes.”

“Dad, I got this,” he said as he hopped up on the porch. You smiled and looked back at TJ. “Oh shut up. I got adopted like six months ago. I might as well.”

“What exactly is happening?” asked TJ.

“Dad,” said Cody again. Jared sat back in the seat, Cody sighing. “TJ...dude I’m sorry. You’re like my brother.”

“Did my...did something happen to my parents,” he said quietly, Cody’s head shaking. “Oh.”

“Rick’s been stealing money from you. There’s no bookie to pay off. Jensen and De went up today to talk to him and they found out the truth and your dad’s got in a fist fight and you guys ought to head up North. It’s not my jurisdiction so I’m not much help.”

“My father did what?” said TJ. Cody glanced at you and you looked down. “That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is,” he said. “TJ the police from your hometown looked into it. He took the money. He’s claiming it was a gift from the two of you but we all know that’s not true.”

“No, he’s been making progress. We’ve been making progress. We’ve been getting along really well,” said TJ.

“Did that start when you started giving him money?” asked Cody.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying what I know as a cop. Did your relationship start changing when money started exchanging hands?”

“Why does he hate me,” said TJ. You grabbed his hand and he shut his eyes. “He must hate me. That’s the only reason I can see why he would do something like that.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” you said.

“He hates you and Jensen. He thinks De is eye candy to stare at. I don’t know how on earth he can pretend to like me,” he said.

“TJ,” said Jared.

“You gonna tell me he loves me or some shit? It’s not good enough,” said TJ.

“I was gonna say you can cut him out of your life if you want to and you’re still gonna have a dad you know. I don’t understand him. I do think he loves you but there’s some resentment towards everyone else you call family. I don’t know why but it’s your choice what you want to do. I’m gonna go inside and finish cooking dinner and we’ll watch all of them tonight. Y/N-”

“I got him,” you said with a nod. 

Ten minutes later you were on the road and driving, TJ staring out the passenger window. 

“Honey-”

“Don’t,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. You reached over and grabbed his hand, TJ squeezing it. “We’re going to my parents house after and we’re packing up as much crap as we can to bring back. I’m never speaking to him again after tonight.”

“TJ.”

“All the late hours I put in doing side jobs. All the jobs you’ve been doing for set design on the weekends. For months and months we’ve been doing it. Straight into his fucking pocket. We could have paid off the house with that money. Paid off bills. That’s our money. It’s our kids money. It’s not some sack of shit’s to go buy whatever he wants with. I could fucking kill him.”

“We’ll get it back,” you said.

“It’s not about the money.”

“I know, babe,” you said. 

“Why is he like that?”

“It’s not an excuse but I think he was raised very poorly and he doesn’t...he knows it’s wrong but I think he thinks we have so much it’s okay if he takes from us.”

“He took two hundred and fifty thousand dollars from us. A year of side jobs for the both of us on top of everything else. We sleep four hours a night. We weren’t handed that. We worked for it. We worked our asses off. All that pressure and all the pressure we thought somebody would hurt him if we were late with money? I can’t believe I ever gave a shit about him. I should have trusted you. You’ve never liked him. No one in your family did. Even Arrow and that kid loves everybody. I should have trusted you guys.”

“TJ they didn’t like him because of the way he treated you, not me. I knew he was a dick when I met him but he belittles you, so, so much. We hate that he does that to you.”

“I don’t know how my mom is married to someone like him.”

“Don’t cut her out,” you said. “She raised you. You’re all her. Anyone who meets you can see that.”

“He’s going to lie when I see him again. I don’t know what to do,” he said. 

“Why?” you asked.

“Because.” You pulled over and he sat back in his seat. He turned his head and you saw all the tears streaming down his face.

“Honey,” you said. You leaned over and hugged him, TJ gripping you back.

“He’d kick my ass for crying right now.”

“Who was it that sat up with my dad after the accident and let him cry all over him? My dad who hates to cry and he’s not afraid to cry in front of you.”

“He’s strong. I’m not.”

“You’re my best friend. The girl who thought she was so fucked up and would be alone. God, Thomas. You gave me something even my parents and family couldn’t. You know how I never thought in a million years I could have this kind of love and you were never scared. The insecurities. The nightmares. The days where I’m quiet and my head gets to me. You just grab my hand and you make it better. You’re stronger than most everyone on this planet. I love and I’ve loved you since I met you and I’ll do anything for you, you know that. We’re partners. If you want to give your dad another chance you can and I won’t question it for a second.”

“I don’t want to talk to him again,” he said, sitting up somewhat. “But how do I say that when you didn’t get a choice? You didn’t get a choice with your parents. They were just gone and you had no say. How can I just walk away like that?”

“My parents didn’t treat me like the way your father does. Neither of my moms or dads ever have. You can walk away from someone that does, TJ. I don’t want you near someone like that. Jared was right too you know. You’re not gonna lose a dad tonight. You’ve always had one and he’s gonna be there for you always.”

“He hurt Jensen, didn’t he?” he sniffled.

“I’m sure he's fine. He’s very...defensive of his children is all.”

“Jensen gave me a letter,” he said. “Addressed to me. That’s when I really knew he loved me.”

“He loved you before that.”

“I know he did. I don’t know why I wanted my dad when I’ve had Jensen the whole time.”

“I’ve been there. Trust me,” you said. He let out a small laugh and you hugged him, TJ taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry Rick hurt you.”

“He hurt both of us.”

“Yeah but I care more about the fact he hurt you. I may deck him when I see him,” you said.

“That’d be kinda awesome,” he said. “But please don’t.”

“Hugs instead?” you said.

“I’ll take hugs,” he said. His stomach grumbled and you kiss his temple. 

“I’m gonna hit the drive thru and then we’ll get on the road again, okay honey?”

“Okay,” he said. You kissed him one last time before you got out of the car and dug around in the trunk. You took out your oversized hoodie and brought it up to the front, handing it to him. “What’s this?”

“You can steal it if you want. Your hoodie’s kinda make me feel better on crappy days,” you said.

“Thanks,” he said. “I really love you.”

“Me too. It’s gonna be okay.”

One Hour Later

“Let’s go to the hospital first,” said TJ as you hit the edge of town. 

“Jared said my dad was fine.”

“Y/N. Let’s go to the hospital,” he said. You nodded and about ten minutes later you were parked and getting a room number. He held your hand on the elevator ride up, kissing the top of your head. “You alright?”

“I’d prefer if he could stay out of the hospital.”

“Me too,” he said, the doors opening. You walked a little too quickly until you found the room, your mom and dad talking as you walked in.

“What are you two doing here?” he asked.

“Jared and Cody came by and we learned some stuff,” you said. “Why are you in the hospital? You look...normal.”

“Your father hit his head.”

“I’m fine.”

“After the accident last year-”

“It was nearly a year ago.”

“After the accident they wanted to be safe and monitor overnight just in case. He got a cut on his arm from some metal but that’s all,” said your mom. 

“I’m fine,” said your dad. He got up out of bed and spun around. “See? No concussion. An itty bitty scratch is all you worry worts.”

“Was there a fight?” you asked. He sat down and sighed. “You don’t look like it.”

“No,” he said. He looked at TJ and pursed his lips. “TJ would you mind grabbing me a drink from the vending machine?”

“Whatever you want to say, you’re gonna say it in front of me,” he said. 

“Mom and I went up to your parents place and it started out okay. But your mom didn’t quite understand what was going on. She thought Rick had been doing well betting horses at a track and that’s where the sudden money came from. Things...devolved from there and Rick got defensive and I was angry so we started arguing and he shoved me and your mom and De shut it down and the cops came and I’m sorry but he took the money for himself. Last we heard from your mom a little while ago she’s giving all the money back to you guys.”

“You pressing charges?” asked TJ.

“It was a shove. He didn’t take my money. You two are the ones that have a right to charge him,” he said.

“Do you know where my mom is?” asked TJ.

“She’s at your house along with your dad,” he said.

“Y/N why don’t you hang here with your parents,” said TJ. You shook your head and he frowned. “You’re worried about your dad. Stay.”

“He’s okay and I’m coming with you,” you said.

“Me too,” said your mom. 

“De-”

“TJ. You’re not gonna win this one,” she said. “Jensen’s okay on his own for a bit and he’d come if he could. You’re not gonna go talk to your dad alone.”

“Fine. Let’s go,” he said, already leaving the room. Your mom grabbed her purse and you ran your hands over your face.

“Go take care of him,” said your dad quietly.

“Dad.” You walked in front of him and he wrapped his arms around you. “He’s gonna be fucked up.”

“I know. We’ll take care of him,” he said. He kissed your temple and pushed you towards the door gently. “Go take care of your husband.”

“We’ll be back.”

“Guys I think maybe I should go in first,” said your mom a short while later, the three of you parked in his parent’s driveway. 

“No,” said TJ.

“Thomas.”

“Danneel,” he said. He turned in the passenger seat and she sighed. “I’m a big boy. I can go in first.”

“Don’t be violent.”

“I won’t,” he said quietly. She kissed his cheek and nodded. 

“Okay sweetie. Let’s get this over with,” she said. You got out and took his hand, TJ not as tense as you were expecting.

“His car isn’t here,” he said quietly on the way up the porch steps. He rang the doorbell and the door flew open, his mom standing there. “Hi mom.”

“I kicked him out for the night,” she said, letting the door open for the three of you. “I’m so sorry. Danneel is Jensen-”

“He’s pissed but fine,” said your mom, following you inside. TJ walked around for a moment, stopping at a picture on the wall.

“Mom. Why does dad hate me?” he asked. He looked over his shoulder and she frowned. “He manipulated me and Y/N. He’s horrible to her family. I get that he went through something as a kid but he’s a grown man.”

“Your father loves you. He doesn’t always know the best way to show it,” she said.

“He hurt me and you’re gonna side with him. Again,” he said.

“He made a mistake.”

“Hell of a mistake,” you mumbled.

“Do you think he wants to be the way he is?” she asked.

“I could have gotten past everything before but this? He doesn’t get to worm his way out of it. I’m done with him.”

“Then you’re gonna be done with me too,” she said. TJ turned around and she lifted her chin. “He doesn’t deserve to thrown out of your life over a mistake.”

“I seem to recall you not saying a word when he almost hit your grandaughter with a belt,” said TJ. “Why do you make excuses for him?”

“Why do you hate him?” she asked. TJ threw up his hands and shook his head. “Always since you were a little boy you’ve hated him.”

“He didn’t want me, not the other way around. I know he worked a lot but all I wanted when he came home at night was a hug or a bedtime story. I wasn’t asking for much,” said TJ. “He resented me.”

“He put in all those long hours for you, to provide for you.”

“I’ve been working since I was fourteen. I paid for my own things from the second I was able to. I paid for school all on my own. My apartment. My car. I paid for my wedding and honeymoon. He paid for food and roof over my head which is the bare minimum he could have done. Don’t tell me he provided for me. He fucking hated me.”

“Because you’re not his,” she said. You and your mom looked at one another, TJ blinking where he stood. “Rick isn’t your father.”

“Excuse me?”

“I cheated on your father because he can be an asshole and I needed an escape. He found out when I was pregnant.”

“Excuse me?” asked TJ again.

“He never wanted children because he thought he’d be a bad father. I guess he was right in your mind,” she said. 

“If you’re gonna tell the story, you might as well tell the whole thing,” said Rick. He stepped out from down the hall, TJ’s mom sighing. 

“So you are here,” said TJ.

“Car’s in the shop,” he said. 

“You hate me?” 

“I love you. It doesn’t mean I’m a good person though,” he said.

“You stole from us.”

“Yes I did.”

“Why?”

“This house is the size of your living room. You have so much.”

“If you wanted money just fucking ask,” said TJ.

“Like I said, just cause I love you doesn’t mean I’m a good person.”

“You’re not even my father apparently.”

“I’m your father,” he said. “Didn’t make ya but I’m your father.”

“What’s the story?” asked your mom. They all looked to her and she looked at TJ’s mom. “What don’t we know.”

“You ever wonder how someone like me wound up with someone like your mother? We’re polar opposites most days,” said Rick. TJ narrowed his eyes and looked between them.

“Don’t tell him,” said his mom.

“Alright,” said Rick. “I must have been mistaken.”

“TJ, can I talk to you,” you said, pulling him into the kitchen. “TJ do you remember in family studies when we had that project to track our family trees and you found your parents marriage certificate and the year was wrong?”

“Y/N what’s that got to do with anything.”

“What if the year wasn’t wrong.”

“It can’t be. They would have gotten married after I was born then.”

“TJ I’m not saying your dad is great but he just lied for your mom. He loves her. Something happened before you were born or after. I have this feeling that she didn’t cheat on him.”

“What are you saying?”

“Maybe I’m wrong but maybe your mom was in a bad situation and Rick stepped in to help because of her.”

“Rick,” said TJ, very quickly exiting back to the family room. “When did you meet my mom. If you ever want to speak to me again, if you want me to speak to her again, you’ll tell me the truth.”

Rick glanced to TJ’s mom, TJ smirking.

“You do care about her.”

“Of course I fucking care about her. I care about you too.”

“That’s great. I feel very cared for,” said TJ. Rick pursed his lips and his mom nodded. “Truth or I walk out that door and never come back.”

“I was married,” said TJ’s mom. “He was charming until he wasn’t. I got pregnant with you and you were born and he would get so angry at you for being a simple baby and crying and...I was so scared of him hurting you that I left. I had nothing and I stayed with a friend for a few days. I met Rick through them and he offered us a safe place to stay with him. It was only supposed to be short term but things developed. He is not perfect but he’s not the monster you think he is. We are safe and the reason you have all you do well and truly is because of him.”

“Do you have anything to say?” asked TJ quietly.

“I loved your mother before I loved you, that’s true. But I learned and I’ve done my best. You were far better off without me in your life. Look at what you have. You’d be angry and bitter if I had more of a hand in raising you. So you can hate me but you do not hurt your mother like that. You do not walk away from her after everything she has done for you. Understand me?”

“I need space from you,” said TJ, Rick nodding. “I also need something else.”

“What?”

“I still don’t understand why you took the money if you weren’t going to spend it.”

“Was gonna impress you, turn a profit on it, give it back with interest. Be like her father, give you some money for once.”

“Jensen doesn’t impress me because of money. Yes, their family doesn’t have to think twice about the cost of most anything. But Jensen, De, they don’t impress me for any reason other than how kind they’ve been to me. They treat me like their son, like I’m their own. They don’t pretend to. They don’t tolerate me for Y/N. They genuinely care about me, all because I fell in love with their daughter, a girl that’s not even theirs and they love her to death. The house is nice. The wedding was nice and so are the vacations. But I could live in a cardboard box and be happy if all I ever got was their kindness. They never made me work for it. They just gave it to me. You could have just given it to me and I would have been a happier kid. But you didn’t and now you have to work for it on my terms. So I want our money back and I want some space from you. If and when I’m ready to talk to you again, I’ll reach out. Alright?”

“Okay,” he said. TJ crossed his arms and nodded before he went outside. His mom followed after and you gave Rick a look. He pulled out his phone and tapped on it for a few moments before shoving it in his pocket. “It says it’s pending for that big of a transfer. It should be back in your account in a few days.”

“Oh I’ll make sure of that,” you said, walking over to him. “Rick. Maybe try some therapy if you really want to salvage this relationship.”

“You think I can afford that?” he said.

“We’ll pay,” said your mom. “Jensen and I will.”

“Why?”

“Cause he’s a fucking awesome kid and he deserves a relationship with you, even if we don’t like you,” she said.

“What about you? You hate me too kid?” he asked you.

“I can learn to tolerate and respect you. But you hurt him and I’ll protect him from anyone that does that, including you. But it’s not my forgiveness you need. It’s his so maybe try the therapy and let him come back if he’s ever ready for that, okay?”

“Alright.” You turned to go when he caught your shoulder. “Can I ask where the money came from? Jensen made it sound like you were behind on bills.”

“It made things tight for us. TJ and I have both been working side jobs nights and weekends to scrounge up extra money. We weren’t handed any of that money we gave you. We even took from ourselves and our children. Just because we live in a nice house doesn’t mean we don’t work for it,” you said. “Oh and one more thing. Touch my father again or call my mom slutty behind her back one more time, you’ll find out which one of us isn’t the good person in this relationship.”

“He what…” said your mom as you walked out, pulling her along behind you. “Dickhead!”

“Come on mom,” you said, pushing her back to the car. TJ gave his mom a nod and hug before he climbed back into the backseat.

“Slut my ass,” your mom mumbled under breath as she started the car back up. 

“Mom, let it go,” you said, shutting your eyes and slumping down in your seat.

“Put on your seatbelt,” she said. You reached up and put it on, turning back to catch TJ with his head leaned back. “You okay back there?”

“I don’t know,” he said.

“That’s probably the right answer,” you said. 

“Let’s get back to dad. I’m sure he’s climbing the walls to get out of there by now.”

Two Days Later

“Howdy,” said your dad, taking a seat in the patio chair beside you as you watched TJ swim in your pool with Allie. “Where’s the babe?”

“Naptime,” you said, TJ tossing Allie up in the air and hugging her tight when he caught her again. 

“How’s he holding up?” he asked, reaching over and taking a chip out of the bag in front of you.

“Better than expected. He’ll give Rick another chance someday.”

“He said that?”

“No. I know Thomas though. He’s too good to hold onto that crap. It might not be for six months or a year but it’ll happen eventually.”

“Well I think he’s a dick,” said your dad. “But if TJ wants to give him a chance, we’ll give him a chance.”

“Thanks for being his dad too,” you said.

“I love the kid,” he said, throwing his arm over your shoulders. “So what are you two gonna do with all that money?”

“Pay off the last of the lawyer fees, pay off a big chunk of what’s left on the mortgage. When that set design comes in then we won’t owe too much more on the house,” you said. “Speaking of which, I gotta go to work on it.”

“Y/N? Use some of that money and take a nice vacation with the kids. Or even just a long weekend away for you and TJ.”

“We really ought to use it for stuff like the house,” you said. 

“Have you and TJ ever taken a vacation just the two of you?”

“Of course. We went on our honeymoon.”

“That doesn’t count. The answer’s no, isn’t it.”

“Dad, I don’t need-”

“Maybe you don’t but somebody in that pool needs to have some fun. Plan a little trip away next month,” he said.

“He’s always wanted to go to Mardi Gras,” you said with a smile.

“You guys would have a blast and I got some pull down there and all. Come on. Let me spoil my grandkids for a weekend.”

“Alright, alright. You’ve convinced me,” you said.

“You mind if the twins have dinner with you guys?”

“We’re actually going to the Pads for dinner. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind more though. You got a hot date?”

“Getting a private college tour with mom and JJ,” he said. “Ya’ll can stop growing up anytime you want you know.”

“She wants to live at home you know.”

“Really?”

“Contrary to her teenage angst as of late, she does love us. Just you know, drop the curfew like you did with me.”

“And we get texts when you stay out.”

“That’s what you thought,” you mumbled. He raised an eyebrow and you shrugged. “I let you know when I wouldn’t be home that night. You didn’t need to know my exact whereabouts.”

“When’s the first time you stayed over TJ’s?”

“Fall of Freshman year in his dorm,” you said.

“Never mind. I don’t need to know,” he said.

“Yup. Let her have fun when she gets there, she’s smart,” you said. “Plus you know she’ll call me if shit happens. Also she has a year and a half of high school left. Relax.”

“At least I know Tom will keep an eye on her too.”

“Already planning the wedding?” you smirked.

“Shut up,” he said, ruffling your hair. “Make sure he gets this.”

He dug into his back pocket and took out an envelope, handing it to you.

“Thanks,” you said quietly. “Dad?”

“Mhm,” he said as he stood. 

“Can you invite him on your fishing trip this weekend with grandpa?”

“Already did,” he said, nodding down at the envelope. “I’ll talk to you soon, tall munchkin.”

“Later dad,” you said, TJ giving him a wave as he headed out. You left the letter on the patio table and went over to the pool, slipping into the shallow end.

“Everything good?” he asked.

“Yeah. My dad left you a letter,” you said, Allie swimming off on her own, doing circles around TJ. He nodded and got out of the pool, drying off some before he went to the table and sat down. “Time for a snack.”

You scooped her up and swung her around in the water, throwing her up your hip. You walked out with her, setting her down to dry her off some. 

“Is daddy okay?” she asked. 

“Yeah,” you said. “Why don’t you change back into some clothes and we’ll get Colin and snack time going.”

She rushed over to TJ and smiled up at him, TJ tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Daddy snack time!” she said.

“I’ll be inside in just a minute, sweetie,” he said. He leaned over and kissed her head, pushing her back towards you. You patted her inside, TJ rubbing his thumb over his lip as he read.

“Take your time, babe,” you said. You kissed his cheek and he nodded. “I’ll leave some tissues just inside the door in case.”

“Thanks,” he said. “Give me five minutes and I’ll be there.”

“Take all the time you need. I got these two,” you said. He nodded and smiled. “Love you.”

“Love you too, Y/N.”

_________

A/N: Read the First Summer Timestamp here!

[beatricethecat2]

"Another day or two?" Helena gruffs.

"Yeah, um, sorry," Myka replies.

"That storm postponing your flight was one thing, but this? You are aware our rental is expiring eminently."

"Maybe we can extend?"

"I already inquired."

"And?"

Helena grimaces, nose wrinkling.

"I-I'll find us a new one."

"No, I shall, since I've clearly been left to my own devices."

"I'm coming soon, I promise!" Myka yelps. "I'll stay wherever you want. Extend the car rental, too."

"If I must swap it at the airport, I shall be cross."

"More cross than now? How is that even possible?" Myka jabs.

"I believe you know the answer," Helena says, deadpan. "What exactly is keeping you there?"

"I'm figuring something out but it's more complicated than I thought."

"And this 'something,' how long am I to remain in the dark?"

"Not long, but..." Myka's shoulders sag. "I might as well tell you."

"If it's such a burden—"

"No! I wanted to iron out the details first." Myka heaves a heavy sigh. "Ok, here it goes...I'm figuring out how to work remotely. Mostly."

Helena perks up. "This is something you truly wish to do?"

"I..." Myka pushes a hand through her hair, stopping halfway, looking off to the side. "I've been thinking about what you said, that the Warehouse needs to evolve, that it's stuck in the nineteenth century."

"Such a travesty; agents sequestered in a boarding house with modern communication and travel as they are."

"It's not so bad, having your friends there when you need them." Myka's hand drops to her side. "I do love my family here, but if I'm honest, it hasn't felt the same since Leena died." 

"May I say again how truly sorry I am for your loss. She was an extraordinary woman."

"She really was." Myka blinks back a tear and looks down. "But it's more than that. What you said about only traveling for work, of never really visiting a place, that stuck with me, too. How you want to take advantage of all this new world has to offer, things I take for granted, because you've been given a second chance." 

"I can be quite persuasive when I wish to," Helena says, lips turning up at the ends.

"And I love you for it." Myka's smile matches Helena's.

"But those are my wishes. What are your own?" Helena asks.

"I think it's worth fighting for change, even if making up rules as we go scares me."

"You are fond of protocol."

"And you're not. So we complement each other. Or cancel each other out," Myka says, lips lifting into a crooked grin.

Helena huffs a short laugh. "And Pete? How is he faring?"

"He's super bummed, but I think he understands." Myka shifts in her seat, sitting up straighter. "You might hear from him. He said he wants to have a chat."

"What about?"

"A 'big brother' kind of thing."

"I'm surprised he's waited this long."

"Me too."

The air quiets, each waiting for the other to continue.

"There is one other thing. An, um, 'condition," Myka says.

"Just the one?"

"Hey..."

"I'd expect nothing less. Go on."

"I can't go on missions alone."

"Nor would I allow you to."

"Do you see where I'm going with this?"

"While you're working, someone will join you."

"Yeah, you."

"But I'm no longer an—"

"They want to reinstate you."

"Myka..."

"I know, I know," Myka says, waving her hands in surrender. "It'd be on your terms. I'll make sure of that. And I'll keep you in check."

"That's a tall order."

"Believe me, I know."

Helena grasps at her locket and works a thumb over its smooth metal case.

"We'd have our autonomy, mostly. Be working part-time. We're already doing it unofficially anyway. And I think we work well together." Myka flashes a smug smile.

"And the distance from the Warehouse? How will you manage?"

"Abigail agreed to be our eyes in the archive. And we already have access to the database."

Helena stares at Myka for a long moment, fingers clutching her locket. "Can this truly be?"

"I think so. I'm hashing out details with Jane, but we need a few more days," Myka says, smiling. "Find us a place to stay for a couple of weeks. We can figure out what happens next from there."

"With pleasure," Helena says.

"So...can I tell them you're Agent Wells again?"

"I've further terms to discuss."

"Send them over. I'll make sure you get what you want."

Smiles grow wider as they hold each other's gazes.

"So...what'd you get up to yesterday?" Myka asks.

"I traveled by cable car up Hyde Street. The views were breathtaking."

"You did that without me?"

"I was tired of waiting."

"Do not go to Twin Peaks or Coit Tower. We're doing those together."

"I shant. Perhaps I'll peruse City Light Books again and linger in Jackson Square."

"That's where those buildings from the 1800's survived the earthquake."

"Indeed."

"Are you feeling a sense of closure, being there?"

"I believe we could have had quite a pleasant life here in my day. But closure, that may only truly begin upon your arrival."

"I can't wait," Myka says, grinning wildly.

-END SCENE-

------------------

Bering and Wells: New Horizons ("Warehouse 13" Season 5 replacement) Season 1: Episode 8 Title: San Francisco: The 415 Blues Summary: A freak storm delays Myka's flight to San Francisco. Helena learns Myka's taken on more while home than just dropping off an artifact. New paths are revealed while working through a difficult retrieval, as well as an ask that may take them to foreign shores.

Previously: Episodes 1-7 (look in my archive as adding links broke my post last time)

------------------

After assessing the scene of a retrieval, Myka and Helena duck into a coffee shop.

"That facade's massive! How would we know which one?" Myka asks.

"'It'll be obvious,' Artie said. Far from it," Helena snips.

"Maybe spray it with neutralizer and see what sparks?"

"It's a landmarked structure, too high-key."

"True," Myka says, frowning. "Artie said it was a chain reaction. One brick radiating into the others. Remove the source and the rest will calm down."

"Once one pinpoints the source."

"At least we know it's in arms reach," Myka says, sipping of her coffee. 

"Do we?"

"Someone almost burned their hand on it."

"Nothing felt even remotely hot to the touch today." Helena screws the cap onto her water bottle. "The brick responsible could be beaming down from the loftiest of places. We'd need scaffolding to check properly."

"And that hill is..." Myka motions with her hand at a forty-five-degree angle.

"Is it truly a risk if it's merely hot to the touch?" Helena says, leaning back in her chair.

"Artie's not sure. He thinks wildfire smoke is 'activating' the bricks, making them think they're in the fires after the 1906 earthquake. So it depends on which way the wind's blowing. Prolonged smoke contact equals hotter bricks, and hotter bricks mean the building might catch fire."

"Because these melted 'clicker bricks' were used in rebuilding after the earthquake?"

"Uh-huh. And Artie thinks they caused a previous fire."

"The one where those girls died trapped in the basement."

"So sad," Myka says, shaking her head. 

"I'd read it was arson, meant to discourage the Mission House staff from rescuing those poor immigrant girls from servitude."

"It probably was. But it might not have spread as fast without the clinkers."

"I see." Helena's hand tightens around her water bottle. "We cannot allow it burn again."

"We won't," Myka says, touching Helena's hand to reassure her. "Maybe we can monitor it with heat sensors. I bet Claudia has a gadget."

"I'm certain she shall," Helena says, looking as if she's combing through a catalog in her mind. "We must set up surveillance in the buildings across the street."

"Maybe we can pose as historians studying Julia Morgan, the architect," Myka says, perking up.

"What a blessing it shall be we're here for an indeterminate amount of time."

"Ooh! Maybe this can be our thing, traveling places and staying awhile, snagging difficult artifacts."

"I adore your ingenuity." Helena leans across the table, planting a kiss on Myka's lips.

"Mmm...thanks," Myka hums as Helena pulls back. She lifts her phone off the table, fingers working the keyboard, texting Claudia. "Maybe this is a good time to, um...tell you, there's a...a, um...something else the Warehouse's asked us to do."

"I knew they wouldn't release you that easily," Helena says, narrowing her eyes.

"This one's about you."

"Aren't they all, somehow?"

"Kinda?"

"Well, out with it then," Helena says, sitting back, crossing her arms over her chest.

"The artifacts you hid, the Warehouse wants them."

"They believe there are more?"

"Oh, come on."

"They've shelved the Trident and Corsican Vest."

"And the Imperceptor."

"That was not an artifact."

"Fine. Artifacts and inventions," Myka snaps. "And they want us to follow up on cold cases you left behind."

Helena shifts in her chair and looks towards the bridge in the distance. "This is punishment for my unwillingness to interact with the Warehouse. You told them of my issues surrounding Christina."

"No. I said separating your body from your mind then sending it out as a lure for Sykes really pissed you off."

"This is not untrue."

"Pisses me off, too," Myka mumbles.

"They may threaten such a thing again should I not bow to their demands."

"We."

"Pardon?"

"Should we not bow. I'm part of this, too."

"Yes, as my 'handler.'"

"Maybe. But our definition of 'handling' can be kind of fun." Myka skims a finger down Helena's forearm, prying her fisted hand apart and threading their fingers together.

Helena lets out a heavy sigh. "I may not recall everything. I'll need my diaries."

"Do you know where they are?"

"At the Warehouse, of course."

"I meant the real ones."

Helena raises a brow.

"You know they know you hid them before you were bronzed."

Helena grimaces. "I once knew where they were. There's no guarantee they're still there."

"You've already looked."

"I may have, briefly."

"And?"

Helena shakes her head in the negative.

"Then let's start with what you remember."

"Or, start with the items I've hidden since?"

"Helena!"

"Punish me later, darling. We've a smoldering building to extinguish." Helena squeezes Myka's hand and brushes a thumb under her jacket cuff. "Did Claudia get back to you?"

"No," says, checking her phone. "Maybe we should get back to the apartment and do some research?"

"'Research' is our best course of action."

Both women smile in agreement, then rise and hastily take their leave.

-END SEASON ONE-

NOTES: NOTES: And this wraps up Season 1! As you can see, it's set up to transition to a second season, one fairly independent from the Warehouse. Who knows if that will ever materialize (but I do have a few ideas). Links broke my post last time, but look up Cameron House (formerly the Mission House) in San Francisco and Donaldina Cameron for more on that organization and the deadly fire. Clinker bricks are regarded as junk bricks - warped from being fired at too high a temperature, or in this case, mangled by building fires after the 1906 earthquake. Many older buildings in Chinatown contain them as the neighborhood scrambled to rebuild after the earthquake, because white real estate developers were poised to swoop in steal their land. In the Cameron House design, clinkers were also used decoratively in an Arts and Crafts style (there are other buildings in SF like this, like 45 Upper Terrace, also designed by a female architect, Ida McCain). I dedicate this episode to @blackfoxreddog !!

[leportraitducadavre]

Naruto re-read VI

Chapters covered: 28-34 (fourth volume of the manga)

Site used: https://manga4life.com/manga/Naruto (official translation of the manga)

Disclaimer: This is intended as a list and simple observations of the topics that particularly interested me in the aforementioned chapters, in that sense, do not expect a linear -or totally deep- analysis.

Tumblr’s update doesn’t allow me to attach more than 10 pictures, therefore, many of them will be LINKED. Apologies.

34) The presentation of the three main characters has changed,

Before Sakura was presented solely on the basis of her crush on Sasuke and her dislike of Naruto, now, she's granted the title of “the brightest of Naruto’s classmates”. Her apprehension to Naruto has been erased, but her crush still remains an important definition of her character. Naruto and Sasuke’s presentations are intrinsically the same -different wording.

35) Kekkei Genkai are feared -therefore, those who possess them are prosecuted/killed. The idea is introduced by Haku in Chapter 29. While what he says is solely linked to Mist -Konoha had two clans with kekkei genkai (now, one), the weariness towards those with such bloodlines might be “universal”. Tobirama’s reason for discriminating against the Uchiha was because of how their doujutsu developed and evolved, and nothing of his weariness was overcome by those who came after him. Kakashi is particularly accepted because he has the Sharingan but not the blood/chakra of an Uchiha, he’s not part of the bloodline.

Furthermore, Sasuke is directly mentioned in the exchange, and Naruto links Haku’s words with Sasuke’s goal: To kill someone (Itachi who killed his clan by the fear it installed in the power-ups: they were accused and punished for controlling the Kyuubi without a shred of single evidence, Itachi even canonically states later on that there’s “no hope for this clan”, meaning, those who carry the bloodline).

36) Iruka is the person Naruto cares for the most, at this point, he might even be more important to Naruto than Konoha itself. That notion is cemented (but it might be a lie of Kakashi), in chapter 34, where Kakashi states that Iruka is Naruto’s hero.

37) An interesting point to make: Kakashi states that Konoha (therefore, he), knows about Zabuza’s attempt to coup and kill the current Mizukage -alongside his wish to raise funds to do another coup. Therefore, Konoha must be aware of the bloodline cleansing that is happening in Mist, a genocide on such a large scale can’t be kept secret that long -furthermore, there’s no indication that the murders are happening quietly either since those who possess kekkei genkai are pushed to hide their bloodline.

Meaning: Kakashi and Konoha claim to fight for “the right thing”, but they do nothing -nor military, nor diplomatically, to stop such massacres; they are still pretty much in touch with the Mizukage that carried out/ordered such killings. Kakashi downgrading Zabuza for working for Gato is absolutely comical because not only is he working for an authoritarian regime but also downgrades someone that (even as despicable he is), is actually trying to do something.

Kakashi (and probably Konoha), can’t differentiate between a person’s ambitions from their ideals, they might seem equal on the surface, but their intrinsically different -which is one of the reasons Kakashi would never stand against Konoha, he can’t differentiate between the two. One means an individualistic goal, the other one is founded on the possibility of a communal achievement.

38) Sakura recites one of the shinobi rules -those were written by Tobirama. Kakashi and Naruto were judging Inari’s cowardliness with the perspective and internalization of the same rule Sakura is now reciting. Inari is a civilian and can’t be judged by those premises; Naruto is excused by his age and experience. Kakashi isn’t. While I’m on it, that same rule seems to be the one Sakumo broke and the reason why he was shunned away; it seems to be also the rule Danzo took by heart, essentially proving that Konoha (and Hiruzen) aren’t opposed to that mindset. Hiruzen creates a feeling of loyalty and magnifies it in order to exploit it - while Danzo decides to erase all perception from an individual, merely making his soldiers live to achieve a particular goal.

39) Naruto’s speech to Zabuza (here and here) about the way shinobi apparently need to be emotionless in order to complete every mission or becoming strong is a direct contradiction to the rule introduced by Sakura herself. The way Kishimoto wrote those scenes means that their clash of ideals is on purpose, even Zabuza admits that shinobi are human beings and they aren’t able to completely erase their feelings (yes, that also contradicts the Curse of Hatred that is later on introduced).

40) Kakashi knows the problem of the belief system that puts value on shinobi's lives and yet decides to endure it (1, 2). (I won’t go in detail here because there’s a full meta on Kakashi and his character coming).

41) Sasuke literally rejects Sakura when she asks him to go out on a date.

Then, in the next chapter when she tries to ask him out again (albeit not that directly as in Wave), he tells her that she’s even in worse condition than Naruto.

Furthermore, Sasuke acknowledges that she’s trying to flirt with him and rejects her regardless -meaning, he’s showing no romantic interest (she might not know that it wasn’t Naruto who tried to kiss her back in chapter 3, but she is more than aware that Sasuke knows about her intentions and still continually rejects her, her insistence is unrequited).

42) Since her value is tied to Sasuke’s perception of her (as we mentioned before), she gets particularly violent towards Naruto. Now, I’m linking the panel where she actually punches him because he hinted that they were sentimentally involved, but she previously displayed verbal aggression towards Naruto for no real reason other than being rejected (and downgraded) by Sasuke.

(PREVIOUS POST) - (NEXT POST)

[doorbloggr]

Sunday 25/9/21 - Media Recommendations #19

Contents:

Twilight Princess (Manga)

Dr Stone (manga/anime)

Lately, I have had a lot I want to write about on this blog, but lack that activation energy to actually start writing an article. Ideally I will at least word vomit more onto the blog in the coming week or so, because I have the topics in mind, just unsure how to start any of it.

Media Consumption has also slowed to a crawl, but I'm getting back into it. This week I wanna discuss a manga series I've been reading slowly as it has released, and an anime I have long been reading the manga for.

The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess (Manga)

Akira Himekawa

Zelda fans have a unique schism between their fans that many other longer running series may not experience. Because most games star a relatively unique cast of characters, a unique spin on the world, gameplay, and even artistic style, what your favourite in the series is will throw you into a hard debate against fans of other games. There's this post i saw somewhere(?) once where it was said your favourite Zelda game is the one that came out when you were 12, presumably because this is the one you experience first, or at least earlier in your Zelda journey, and I can completely relate to that.

The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess was the first Zelda game I played, and it has been my number 1 or 2 in the series consistently. Compared to the games that came before it, it was darker, had a richer world, and just a grander scope. But today I'm not here to explain the game, I'm here to talk about the manga.

Akira Himekawa is a pseudonym for a pair of female manga artists that have been writing manga together since the early 90s, and I know them well for their Legend of Zelda adaptations. They have covered most of the main games everyone knows, Ocarina of Time, Majoras Mask, A Link to the Past, and even a couple volumes of Four Swords Adventures. Their most recent work has also been the most long and in depth adaptation, my first Zelda game, Twilight Princess.

Like all of their Zelda adaptations, Akira Himekawa's Twilight Princess follows all the same plot beats as the main games. The order places are visited, the main characters Link encounters, the dungeons and their bosses, but the mangaka add... more to the world. Link has a deeper back story explaining what led to the start of the adventure. What in the games are essentially blank slate NPCs become characters in their own rights with personalities and arcs and motivations. The Twilight Realm, which is essentially just a dungeon in the game, is fleshed out as its entire world, with society, and lore.

In the game, Link is cool, and a bit of a himbo, but the manga's take on him is so much more interesting. He's a brooding edge lord, with a damaged past. He's a do-gooder, but he's also flawed and suffers from caring too much. Link is a character full of regrets who constantly bounces between "become a hero to prevent the atrocities of the past coming back" and "give up so that you don't make things worse". I understand that the games leave Link as a blank slate so that players can fill in their own ideals, but seeing Link as a fully fleshed character with his own motivations is cool as hell.

The supporting cast is similarly fleshed out compared to the game's take. Zelda, Illia, and Midna have complex motivations and evolving personalities. Midna was already a great character, but the manga truly does not skip out on making her deep and interesting. The "Resistance", for those who've played the game, are all multilayered characters now, all with arcs that are actively explored as they actually go help Link on his adventures, instead of just telling him info and leaving him to it. The dungeons do not take nearly as much plot time as they do in the games, essentially minimal theme building and then boss, but this works better for the format in my opinion.

If you like high fantasy manga, or are just a Zelda fan, I highly recommend this series. I haven't finished reading it, but Book 9, which I think is the final in the series, has recently been released in English. Obviously playing the game first is a good background, but I think you could 100% enjoy the series without it.

Edit: Finished book 9 and there's definitely at least one more book to go.

Dr Stone (anime/manga)

Inagaki, Boichi; TMS Entertainment

Ok so must I remember wrong because I thought I recommended this one, but apparently I never talked about Dr Stone before, which is a complete travesty. But now I am both up to date with the manga and most of a season deep into the anime, and I have A LOT to talk about.

As those who have also read my dinosaur blogposts will understand, I am a big science nerd. Biology, palaeontology, space, chemistry, it's all so interesting, and sometimes I struggle to understand how a passion for science is not a universal human experience. I share that in common with the main character of a manga I've been reading for maybe a year now, Dr Stone.

In Dr Stone, the world of 21st Century humanity is brought crashing to a halt when a bright wave of mysterious light blankets the entire planet, and everywhere on the entire globe, humans have been turned to stone. 3700 years later, a young man who has kept his mind active within the stone forces himself awake and breaks out. Around him, nature has reclaimed the Earth and millennia of human progress has been all but buried.

Senku is a young man of science, and spent years obsessing over every scientific domain he could comprehend in order to one day travel to space. In this stone world, armed with this wealth of science progress in his mind, Senku begins efforts to restart the scientific age, and free every single person frozen in stone. He starts with a mysterious acid that breaks down the stone. Then he develops tools, machinery, electricity, and eventually, he wants to push humanity back to the space age within his lifetime. Senku may be a know it all, but knowledge only gets you so far. Thanks to the allies he makes, a wealth of expertise will be harnessed to bring his dream to fruition.

Dr Stone is a must read for anyone who enjoys Scifi. Although the rate at which progress is made seems absurd, every single scientific process the kingdom of science works on is real science. Although post apocalyptic themes establish the base for the story and the supernatural force that turned humanity to stone is the main adversary, Dr Stone is a very scientific story based on real Earth and its just... exhilarating!

The scope of the story begins on the small scale in primitive villages, but the story eventually reaches a global scale. There are adversaries at each step, those who wish to rule the Stone World with might, free of the tyranny science had in our age, and there are also those who wish to use science as its own form of might, but Senku and his allies want to use science for the benefit of everyone. So that one day, all of humanity will be restored, and that eventually, he will get to moon.

I will refrain from speaking any further on story specifics because you really should experience the plot for yourself. So I will end with the presentation itself. The art and format of the manga are beautiful. Character designs are rugged, stylised, and exciting, it's very easy to determine what a character is all about just by their unique appearance.

In the last week, I have begun watching the anime, as it has been long enough since I started reading that I can experience parts of the plot anew. The anime is very beautifully made, the world is lush and beautiful, and characters move in such a fun and interesting way. I'm watching the English dub, and characters sound exactly like the voices I had for them in my head.

If you have even an inkling of interest in Dr Stone after reading what I've said today, you should definitely experience the story for yourself, 1 billion percent.

[not-delicious-milk]

So i was randomly scrolling through as you do lol and saw your timeline on the mindmap and how you said that Yuuji is a suitable vessel because Sukuna's blood might have become strong enough, do you think it could also be a case of genetics and Yuuji being a practically identical match genetically to Sukuna hence why he is a suitable vessel?

Also with the theory going around about Brain bring Yuuji's "Mother" do you think that is where his memory manipulation technique could possibly come from and why Brain is so interested?

wow this is gonna suck bc it’s on my phone but let’s go

i think that whatever relationship sukuna and yuuji have left some amout of genetic material in his body. i’m not sure if it’s directly that he’s his descendant — gege has stated that sukuna had no children, though of course he could just be trolling — but i think of what the brain said in shibuya about how the body and soul are the same. i think that part of the reason why yuuji can house sukuna without harm coming to his body AND suppress his soul is because they share some genetic material or otherwise have some overlap concerning their bodies. maybe yuuji is his reincarnation, or had genetic material implanted in him in utero, or is distantly related to sukuna through other means. or maybe he’s just sukuna’s direct descendant. whatever it ends up being, i think that something is definitely going on. it would be much easier for yuuji to merge with sukuna, as gojo stated they had in chapter 2, if they already shared genetic material, blood or some other physical congruence.

it was stated by gojo that the appearance of sukuna’s vessel was part of the “wave of power” in the new generation, and later during the spv arc it was revealed that gojo’s birth was the catalyst for this, that it forced curses to evolve and become more powerful, including dormant cursed energy in potential sorcerers. what if sukuna’s blood relation or whatever it is to the itadori family was distant and weak enough that they still weren’t suitable vessels? they don’t seem to be sorcerers, although pappy wasuke gives off the air of knowing at least something about sorcery, but they bear a striking resemblance to sukuna from what we’ve seen. and yuuji was born after gojo. maybe because of that wave of power, sukuna’s dormant influence was strong enough to make him a suitable vessel — probably having to do less with genetic material since that’s not quite how genetics work, but indirect influence on his cursed energy and body development. idk if that makes any sense but basically the little itty bit of sukuna that was in yuuji was enough, after gojo’s birth and the forced evolution of curses, to actually influence yuuji beyond physical resemblance to sukuna and cause him to be ridiculously strong and capable as a vessel.

so think of recessive genes as an example. through generations and generations of “carriers” it might never manifest, but given the right catalyst — an environmental stressor, reproducing with another carrier and getting the recessive gene from both parents, et cetera — it can suddenly show up almost out of nowhere. real life examples range from brown eyed parents having a blue eyed child to serious genetic disorders and illnesses.

now imagine, if you will, that that recessive gene suddenly became a dominant one because of, oh i don’t know, a certain blue eyed baby being born and shifting the equilibrium of the world.

imagine if a child like that is about to be born, or potentially about to be born, but there are complications with the mother and she dies. if you were an incredibly patient body hopping sorcerer with a vested interest in seeing that child born, what would you do?

the brain states that they altered peoples’ brains with idle transfiguration to make them suitable vessels for cursed objects, at the end of the shibuya arc. the relationship between the brain and cursed energy is an in-universe enigma, but it seems like changing the structure of the brain can forcefully awaken a technique or make someone able to handle a cursed object. yuuji most likely is not an experiment in this sense — creating sukuna’s vessel is a rather ambitious first attempt, and the brain didn’t have access to mahito’s cursed technique when yuuji was born, so they didn’t have a reliable and precise way to alter people’s brains to change their relationship with cursed energy. it’s possible that the brain STUDIED yuuji to determine what, exactly, made him a suitable vessel in order to be able to replicate it, but that would require already knowing that he would be a suitable vessel. either yuuji was an incredibly risky and ambitious experiment from birth, intended to be a vessel for sukuna, or the brain had some reason to know for a fact that he was one. such as being related to him.

jogo asks after yuuji’s first death whether it was “worth wasting a precious finger to determine the strength of sukuna’s vessel”. that suggests the brain was double checking to make sure yuuji could house sukuna freely and without limiting his power, since it resulted in sukuna taking over to fight the cursed spirit. this wasn’t to check if yuuji could handle consuming more fingers. the brain seems to be very sure he can.

with the cursed wombs, the brain states that sukuna’s fingers are an exception when it comes to cursed objects — that they are powerful enough to influence their surroundings even when sealed in the form of dormant fingers, and that they can choose their vessel. other sentient cursed objects, such as the death paintings, can reside in any vessel, albeit completely taking over their hosts. there is no relation between the objects and their vessels in this case, and the cursed objects can exercise their full power at the cost of taking over the host’s consciousness.

it’s possible that the brain wanted to make sure that being suppressed by a suitable vessel still allowed for a curse to use its full power, i.e sukuna, but that’s just me theorizing.

in terms of the memory manipulation thing, gege has stated that it’s not a technique and that the causes were different for todo and choso’s cases. i’m not inclined to fully believe him because again he could just be lying his ass off to distract from the very real similarities between the cases. i’ve seen some interesting theories concerning it, such as that it’s a technique that uses positive cursed energy, that it’s a defense mechanism, that it has to do with the soul like mahito’s technique, et cetera. i don’t think it’s why the brain is interested in him — that most likely has to do with his status as sukuna’s vessel. i find it suspicious that the brain knows so much about his body and how it will react to sukuna (for example telling the disaster curses that should yuuji eat one finger a day up to 20, he would most likely retain control, but if fed 10 fingers at once he would temporarily be overwhelmed) AND how it seems that they already knew he was sukuna’s vessel even before he consumed the finger — someone else said this in the notes of my other post, don’t remember who, but when discussing with the disaster curses after yuuji’s first “death” it seemed like he’d been part of their plans for a while and that they knew he was sukuna’s vessel before anyone else did. but! the memory shit is very suspicious and i am looking very hard at gege for an explanation.

gosh this got long. i will probably cross post this on twitter because i kind of popped off. anyway yeah

[lollytea]

Hi! I love you Shageera fic! The fandom is so small and your fic is so good, I can't thank you enough! And I wanted to ask you, do you have any headcanon about their relationship outside of Talespin? In the original Jungle Book "canon" or some other AU? I'd love to hear them if you do have them, your takes are gold!

Hi! Thank you so much!!

Hmmm. All the versions of shagheera in my head follows the same basic story structure of “friends as kids, grow apart as they get older, reconnect as adults” EXCEPT for the jungle book/canon universe, where the first two DO apply to them (thank you jungle cubs for making that canon, idk where I’d be without jungle cubs canon.) but they continue to keep their distance from each other once they’re grown. I mean Khan tried to kill Bagheera’s kid AND his bear husband. I don’t think they ever can bounce back from that one. They got bad blood and they probably always will.

Unless….just kidding…..unless….

I think about the plot of this cancelled third jungle book movie very often. Yeah it would’ve been bad but….but….but adult Khan and Bagheera might have interacted. Also I wanna know how the fuck a shere khan redemption arc is written. Not very well probably but I still wanna see it. I think Disney should send me the script to this film. As a gift. I think I deserve it. It’s not like they want it. Hand it over, lads.

ANYWAY

Besides the talespin universe, I’ve got like two shagheera AUs

Treasure Planet AU — Bagheera is a scholar and astronomer who comes aboard Captain Shere Khan’s ship. The two know recognize each other as the childhood friend they used to play pirates with. So, rather ironic circumstances they’ve found themselves in. Neither know how to react to reuniting so they’re pretty awkward about it and refuse to acknowledge that they were ever close. They mostly interact with the distant politeness of people who barely know each other and strictly refer to the other Captain/Doctor (unless circumstances are dire) But they’re gonna be stuck on this ship together for the next few weeks so they better figure out what the fuck their relationship is.

Bagheera is deeply out of his element. He’s intimidated by the crew and he doesn’t know how to handle a weapon so he considers himself rather useless on this expedition. He’s never even held a pistol before and now he’s expected to know how to shoot one. He’s so frazzled that he nearly (accidentally) shoots Khan dead at one point. But he wouldn’t be Bagheera if he wasn’t stubbornly insisting that he knows what he’s doing, especially when the captain shoots some sardonic comment his way. The two get into more squabbles than he cane keep track of.

Shere Khan is exasperated with the doctor, with the boy he brought aboard, with the entire idiot crew he hired, but especially with the doctor. He attempts to keep himself composed but he keeps stooping to the most childish arguments and he feels like the presence of Bagheera is forcibly dragging him back 25 years every time they interact. Shere Khan does not know how to feel about that.

Shere Khan finds himself having to acknowledge that Bagheera is brilliant. Due to the doctor’s calculations, the ship avoided the waves of impact during a difficult path through a black hole and he’s the reason they got out alive. He never felt all that much admiration for the little brainiac when they were children but now he is absolutely blowing him away.

Bagheera starts spending more time in Shere Khan’s office because it’s the only place he feels comfortable. (The crew really creeps him out.) and they do everything from argue to discuss alternate routes to pour over the map. This evolves to Shere Khan teaching Bagheera what he knows about wielding a sword and they have many homoerotic sparring sessions. Sometimes they’ll lay out in the escape boats and Bagheera will teach Khan the names of all his favourite constellations. They have many homoerotic star gazing sessions. BASICALLY they have a gay space pirate love story but it’s behind the scenes stuff cuz Kit is the protagonist of this au and he doesn’t give a fuck what Shere Khan and Bagheera are doing.

They are forced to acknowledge that they care about each other when the stakes get more dangerous and both have their near death experiences, rattling the other considerably. At the very least they start calling each other by their first names again ❤️

Fairytale/ Dragon Princess AU — OKAY i don’t think I’ve ever publicly posted about this au so I won’t unpack all of it cuz I know y’all aren’t familiar with it. It’s mostly focused on Baloo/Rebecca and the bear family as a whole but Shagheera is involved too so I’ll focus on that part for now.

So basically Shere Khan was a kid prince and Bagheera was the son of a servant so, as the only two children in the castle, they’ve been playmates since before they could walk.

The only other children they interacted with were Bagheera’s friends (Baloo, Louie etc.) and Shere Khan’s wife-to-be, Princess Rebecca. Their parents arranged the engagement and neither Khan or Rebecca were thrilled about it. As they grow older, Bagheera leaves the palace to make his own way and he and Khan don’t keep in touch.

By the time they were young adults, mysterious circumstances paused Shere Khan and Rebecca’s upcoming marriage when word spread around that the princess had been horribly cursed and locked away in a tower. Details were sparse, even to her fiancé. All that was known was that she had last been seen talking with a man who had a reputation for being a dark mage and it can be deduced that he was the one behind the curse.

But before she disappeared, Rebecca sent Khan a letter begging him to please not retrieve her from the tower, warning him that whoever ventured out to save her would not make it back alive. Khan obliged of course, both because he respected her wishes and if she returned, he would have to marry her.

As a king, Shere Khan had excellent publicity. He was charming and charismatic in public, masking the fact that he was an absolute bitch in private. He was also obliged to act like he cared about his fiancée being returned to his side so every now and then he allowed whatever arrogant glory seeking fool who offered, to go “save” her. None of them lived.

Years later, Khan drops into an ancient, desolate library on the outskirts of town, hoping to find a particular book on plants. It’s after midnight, so he doesn’t have to deal with the scandal of the king being out and about. And who does he find between the shelves, bathed in the dim glow of oil lamps, but Bagheera, snoring on the floor in a pile of open books.

This begins a tentative acquaintanceship in which Khan escapes to the library every now and again for a change of scenery and to meet with Bagheera, who lives on the floor above.

It doesn’t take long for Shere Khan to learn Bagheera’s reputation. As it turns out, the passionate yet introverted scholar with books on the brain, is allegedly the “dark mage” that put a curse on Rebecca all those years ago. This would explain why his library is always empty. Everyone in town is petrified of him.

Rather than turn to anger or fear, Shere Khan can only feel disbelief and intrigue because whatever rumors are going around are clearly fabricated. He challenges Bagheera to perform some evil little spell for him, summon hellbeasts if he must. But Bagheera falters and it is revealed that underneath that reputation is a bit of a sham. Bagheera has been trying for years to become an adept mage but he just can’t get the hang of it. His spell-work is terrible. Always has been.

“Well surely you can’t have cursed the princess then?” Shere Khan reasons. But that’s not exactly true. Yes, Bagheera was not behind the original curse but when Rebecca came to him for help, he accidentally made it so so much worse. Bagheera is the reason shes been forced to hide herself away in a tower and he’s been spending all these years attempting to improve his magic so he can finally undo what he’s done.

And so Fairytale/Dragon Princess AU is a fantasy love story where Shere Khan attempts to help Bagheera effectively channel his magic. The fun part about it is magic is intricately tied to a persons emotional state so when you’re having homoerotic little scenes with your childhood buddy and he touches your forearm, you nearly set the whole goddamn library ablaze. Real gay shit.

I have run out of steam and cannot ramble anymore. Hope I have pleased you.

[gofancyninjaworld]

OPM Mega review (chapters 131 - 148): Part 2  To the side, not the sidelines

A continuation of part 1 of the mega review.  This isn’t a narrative account, but rather a look at all the other groups and happenings around where the main battle is raging.

Heroism in all sizes

It’s like the end of the world.  City Z isn’t the first city to face near total devastation.  But City A was at least gone in a flash. People had almost no time to consider their imminent demise.  In City Z, the carnage has had time to build and to come from multiple directions.  From vampiric monster roots enveloping and sucking the lives out of inhabitants by the block. From powerful earthquakes splitting and even twisting the ground. From aerial bombardments of gigantic rubble and from the sea itself as the coastline is threatened by a chain of tsunamis.  Survivors aren’t bothering to try driving: it’s whatever you can carry as fast as you can.

Those who gave up their beds.  The Hero Hospital in City S has come to serve as an impromptu staging post for nearby heroes.  Like a middle finger stuck up at face of civilisation, the tower previously buried underground and its glowing red monster is just about visible from the hillsides of City S and draws heroes in like a beacon.  First Metal Bat,  then Mumen Rider, then the Tank Toppers, then the Blizzard Group, then all the other heroes hospitalised in the aftermath of either the Day of Chaos or Garou’s depredations discharge themselves against medical advice and run in to see who they can save.

just as well they all went -- the roads are so impassable and the situation so volatile that they’re literally the only rescue coming for hours if not days

Swept up in the mood, the martial artists were considering moving out too, only for Suiryu to pour cold water on the notion.  It has done me a world of good to see that Suiryu has been inspired by Max and Snek and not Saitama. He finally gets it that a hero is someone who has the courage to step into the path of danger because someone needs help, and not because they’re strong and think they’ll win.

No space for playing hero.  It’s very wise that Suiryu advised his fellow martial artists not to play hero.  If many have complained about how heroes seem to be blessed with life, no such protections are afforded to non-heroes. The people who went in alongside heroes have suffered grievously,  although those who have died did so bravely.

I have a one-person prayer circle going for Sekingar. I pray that ONE will choose to spare his fine non-hero one-eyed, single-handed ass.  I have come to like the guy and I’ve been impressed at how he has stayed calm when trapped in City Z,  succeeded in encouraging discouraged heroes and even asserting a genuine authority to guide Metal Bat and King. I don’t think there’s too many more like him in the executive of the Hero Association and think it’d be a shame if he didn’t bring his hard-won experiences back to guide them in what’s sure to be a crisis.

The king under the mountain

This arc has introduced us to a lot of concepts and players who are likely to have long-term effect on the world.  In this series of chapters, some of these ideas are developed further.

Came for the pussy, stayed for the tentacles. I’m sorry, I’m allowed one double entendre a week and I decided to curse you with it.  I wouldn’t have mentioned this but Drive Knight’s comings and goings are almost certainly going to be very plot-relevant later.   He was supposed to be gone with his prize of one Nyan, but then he saw the tower emerge and Psykos-Orochi wave tentacles skyward and as much as a cyborg with no discernable facial features can be said to yearn, he yearned. For a sample that is.

He stuck around as long as it took him to get a sample of Orochi and then he was gone, without so much as a ‘thank you for your help’.  At present, we’ll just have to see what this is all about later.

When the cat’s away the mice will play.  The only way to foment a world ending crisis is to have the guy who can squash it all and wonder what the fuss was about occupied elsewhere.  Through meeting Flashy Flash and getting a tour into the deepest reaches of the Monster Association thanks to Manako, and a couple of other things, Saitama is literally trapped in an alternative dimension. Although, being Saitama, if he felt a sense of urgency, he’d break back into the real world without a second thought.  Right now he’s curious,worried for his house, but mostly hungry.  Some curry would be nice.

The real question is how are the heroes going to hold out until Saitama arrives?  I’ve been touched by how genre-savvy Genos and King are about this. It’d be amusing if it weren’t so brutally true.

The formal establishment of extra-spatial dimensions as a feature not restricted to a few unusual individuals.   Phoenixman first got us learning about the idea of extra dimensions, in his case a private manifestation of his inner psyche.  Neither he nor Child Emperor physically moved.

Ninchirin introduces us to the idea of an extra-spatial dimension that physical objects can be stowed in and taken from.

But nothing takes it as far as ‘God’ with the existence of a pocket dimension with its own timeline that takes people in wholesale.  Whether a lot of time passes on the outside (as it does for Saitama and co) or no time passes (as it does for Psykos-Orochi) seems to depend on ‘His’ will. 

The formal establishment of ‘God’ as a singular being with a distinct personality.  Homeless Emperor first talked about ‘God’ as being a being who tasked him with eliminating humanity after he despaired of living as one.  Pyskos expands on that concept. She saw ‘God’ very differently, as a quasi-planetary being rather than as a vaguely humanoid one, but her experience of ‘Him’ as a being who bestowed power and a mission on her bears striking similarity to that of Homeless Emperor.

How people get to talk to ‘God’ becomes clear when we see Flashy Flash and Saitama accidentally summoning ‘Him’ via handling a box.  Which leads very naturally to elucidating some of the mystery of Blast. 

Finding out why Blast is still the number 1 hero.   If the likes of Tatsumaki leave us scratching our heads as to how any hero could outwork her in terms of facing monsters, Blast gives us an answer.  He specialises in dealing with non-physical threats, which he does by having some sort of dimension-hopping gizmo.  The black box he disposes of identical to that seen in Tatsumaki’s flashback, leading us naturally to think about what business the facility holding her was having with ‘Him.’   Webcomic readers see a gimme as well in the construction of the Ninja Village Flash hails from, along with Blast paying the ninjas a visit.

With Blast having taken Saitama and co out of reality, it’s going to be an unknown while before they pop back into it.

Sleeping is such a nice euphemism for dying

The principle of explosive growth through surviving situations that should have killed one is by this point a well-established mechanic within the story.  After seeing Phoenixman come back from the dead, it should perhaps not be a surprise to us that Orochi does the same.  In coming back, he’s evolved into a distributed form that can regrow after even extensive destruction and the consequences of his doing so are already covered in part 1 of this review.

Speaking of evolution, what about Garou? We left Garou buried under tons of rock in the wake of Tatsumaki lifting the base.  Yet again, he does not die -- thank you Darkshine for your anti blunt trauma vaccination -- and little by little, we see him dig himself out, and transforming himself as he goes as he dreams of a world in which he enforces peace but very unconventional means.

In retrospect, the sequence of Garou’s eyes closing in response to his humanising memory of Tareo is the most ominous as the eyes that open again have not a shred of humanity in them.

It reminds me a lot of what we saw happen to Gouketsu when the latter accepted a monster cell, his human eyes closing as a new set of monster ones opened.

At long last, Garou makes it back to the surface.  But what’s this?  Where’s the wise-cracking, judgemental little shit we love?  What is this near silent, befanged, clawed feral creature beating down on everything he sees? Oh dear.  He is not sleeping sweetly, dreaming pleasant dreams of a world perfectly obedient while he waits for the fist of some self-righteous prince to awaken him to his destiny.  Garou may perceive it as lapses in consciousness, but it’s the monster within eating him alive.  He’s dying. He is under real existential threat of being completely lost to monsterfication and how it is that he can save his humanity is a big point of interest. 

In his flawed way,  Bang is trying to get through to Garou.  I don’t hold out big prospects of him reaching him.  And if he does, I hold out even smaller prospects of him actually beating Garou.  Barring some interruption, we might be about to see the tragedy of a master beaten down by his student.

I’m going to leave this review here.  What comes next is all too soon going to change the status quo of the story, if not for the better, then certainly for the more eventful.