#anyway I love them and I love you Lou so I hope you love this! <3

[morganaspendragonss]

you only see the light shine in dark times

5.01 has apparently given me inspiration again we love to see it! enjoy! ao3 | 1k | 5.01 coda, angst and hurt/comfort

He’s grown used to it by now, to Carlos rushing off in the middle of lunch dates and coming home in the middle of the night. He’s grown used to the thousand-yard stares and the constant presence of that case looming over them. He’s grown used to sleeping alone.

But it still hurts. It still aches something deep within TK when he spends yet another night with only Lou Two for company. He could invite people over, the crew, his dad, but he doesn’t want them to know that this is what his life – his marriage – has become. They wouldn’t understand, and he thinks perhaps his dad would understand a little too well, which is an uncomfortable thought.

Not that his marriage is going to end up like his parents’. TK won’t let it. And he is proud of Carlos; deeply, wholly, overwhelmingly so. Seeing him on the news tonight, standing at the chief’s right hand, the youngest Ranger in the line-up by far, had sent a pulse of love and pride directly to TK’s heart, where it still sits, beating strongly away. He loves Carlos for his dedication to his work, and he wouldn’t have him any other way.

But he would have him at home.

The loft isn’t a big place, smaller even than his New York apartment, but right now it feels cavernous, yawning around him. He can almost hear the echo of his feet on the concrete as he sets Lou back in his tank and clears up for the night. The remaining peppers go in the fridge, alongside the leftovers of a dinner he’d made last night in the foolish hope that they could share a full meal together without worrying about call-outs or cases. Instead, TK had been left with too much chicken pasta and Carlos had eaten vending machine energy bars and peanuts.

TK doesn’t fully trust that he won’t do the same tonight, but there’s nothing he can do about it now, except leave the light by the window on. He imagines it’s a beacon, a sole light in the dark, and he imagines that Carlos can see it from his office all the way across town. 

Come home, he thinks, wishes, prays. Come home to me.

Even after he gets in bed, he always tries to stay up for a while, waiting to hear the door rolling along the tracks, Carlos shuffling about, the click of the lamp being turned off. It’s a rare occasion, but it’s happened once or twice, and TK likes to feign sleep until Carlos is finally settled next to him. Then, he’ll pretend to stir, just a little, and he’ll roll over to pull him close.

Tonight, as with most nights, he doesn’t make it, though he’s not sure what time it is when he finally falls asleep. All he knows is that it’s late and Carlos still hasn’t come home.

*

While nights are an ever rarer privilege, TK can usually count on at least a few minutes with his husband in the mornings. Which is why he panics this morning, when he wakes up not to Carlos in bed with him, but to coldness on the other side of the bed. It’s happened before when he’s overslept after a long or late shift, but yesterday’s was neither, and a quick glance at his phone tells him it’s not even seven yet. If Carlos hasn’t come home… But he has to have come home, because who will TK call now that Gabriel is gone? 

His phone is in his hand anyway before he’s managed to disentangle himself from the bedsheets, but it’s proved unnecessary a second later. The bedroom door slides open and Carlos appears on the other side, smiling despite the exhaustion lying heavy across his features. 

“Hey, I thought I heard you,” he says, coming to sit on the bed next to TK. He puts a hand on TK’s knee, his thumb rubbing gently across the skin. “You look upset, what’s going on?”

TK waits before answering. It’s a difficult question to answer these days; he can’t let Carlos know what’s really wrong because that… Well, that’s an argument he doesn’t want to have just yet. 

“Nothing,” he decides. “Just, weird dreams, you know. What time did you get in last night?”

Carlos’s expression shutters and he pulls his hand back, ostensibly to look at his watch. “Uhh, no idea. I stopped for something to eat on the way, so.”

“Good.”

The silence that falls between them is tense, awkward in a way it so rarely is between them. TK doesn’t know how to fix this, doesn’t know when it broke in the first place. It was gradual, cracks forming with every missed dinner and late night. Sometimes it feels like the only thing connecting them is that light by the window, left on as a sign that there is someone to come home to. 

Carlos sucks in a deep breath and TK turns to him, already knowing what he’ll say. 

“I was just about to head out, wanted to see you before I left. You should go back to sleep.” He pats TK’s knee again and makes to stand, but TK snatches his hand before he can fully pull away. 

“I’m awake now,” he tries, pouring as much love as he can into the words. “Maybe I can drive you to work, we can pick up some breakfast on the way? I’ll pick you up when you finish.”

Carlos smiles, but it’s small and regretful. “I already ate, and I don’t want to bother you on your day off.”

“It’s not–”

“Besides, I might stay late again,” Carlos interrupts. “I’m not sure, but I have to keep working on this, TK. I can’t– I couldn’t forgive myself if I stopped.”

TK nods. “I understand.”

And he does. He does. Still. His heart sinks as he lets go of Carlos, allowing him to stand up and leave.

“I’ll leave a light on for you,” he calls out as Carlos reaches the door. “I love you.”

Carlos turns back once, smiles. “Love you.”

Then he’s gone, and TK is alone again.

[turtleblogatlast]

I’ve gone on and on about how Leo wants to be who Splinter finds is the ideal person (which just so happens to be Splinter’s ideal version of himself) but I have yet to really touch upon how Donnie is the one who most directly parallels Splinter himself to an honestly shocking degree, Raph’s taking from Splinter’s teachings and parenting has resulted in an unhealthy mixup in the different dynamics of a family versus a team, and Mikey is the one who is simultaneously the most focused on family and the most intrinsically himself which both leads to his better grasp of mystics and honestly what just might be the healthiest dynamic with Splinter.

[sparrowmoth]

My half of an art trade with the amazing, fantastic @waterloou, who wanted to see Jesper as Dr. Frank-N-Furter. I simply couldn't resist adding Wylan as Magenta when I found my ref (below the cut).

Please do not use, edit, or repost my art without permission. Thank you!

[m3r1m4r5u333]

I feel like many people misunderstand us, the unhinged, insufferable people with OTPs so. Here's a quick guide into the mind of an rabid buddie shipper.

I'm not clinging to buddie because I fail to see how awesome Buck's bi growth is. I AM BI!!! You think I don't get how awesome this bi character, this story arc, this bi representation is? Get out. Don't tell me, a bisexual how I should watch and experience a bisexual character. I drive my own brain, thanks.

And I know that it's possible to multi-ship. You don't need to tell me that!!

People need to understand that multi-shipping isn't some grand, epic personality trait that always comes with maturity, that the people who don't multiship are just wee dumb babies.

I may sound like I'm 14. I am not. I am very much not. I'm OLD. So old. And guess what that means? I know myself!!! That's maturity, too. And who I am... Is someone who falls hard, and obsessively.

I know I am just not built to be a multi-shipper. I have tried, sometimes. I have tried so hard. And realised, that's just not me. Multi-shipping is never as fun, and interesting or rewarding to me as focusing on my One True Pair. It just makes me feel suffocated, to attempt to like something I don't really find much joy in.

That doesn't mean that I hate the actors or characters who are "getting in the way" of my ship. Nope. I actually often adore the characters and actors, and the writing. I can also see and appreciate what some other character means for my OTP's growth.

Like in this case... Lou, playing Tommy? Not only do I love his acting choices (so funny, so skilled) but he also, he sounds like a lovely guy. I'm a fan!! Also, damn he's fine, I need a bucket for my drool.

And Tommy, the character...? I think the character is interesting - and don't get me started on "problematic", the shaming is futile. I am all in for fucked up, problematic characters. If you don't get why, you should really read some literary classics. Fucked up, problematic characters are art, they make you think, they broaden world-views. My best educators have been the monsters, and I will take this stand to my grave.

Demand for "unproblematic" is demand for censure, and censure is just another form of oppression. Want characters without flaws? Go watch Teletubbies. Ffs, even moomins have flaws. (Of course they do, Tove Jansson was a freaking amazing writer.)

Anyway. The point here is.

I am a mono-shipper. And I love slowburns, I love the romance of them, I get attached to ships. And I'm queer.

But where are the queer slowburns? I have been waiting for a slow-burn queer romance for so long. I CRAVE IT. Getting that, truly, would be queer history, a revolution.

And I see the potential for it in buddie!! The spark, the history, the journey. It has the potential to be the greatest queer slow-burn I've ever experienced.

You think I'd just abandon a ship like that, a slowburn like that, for some fast food, cooked up in what... Two episodes? Pffft. I invest. I am waiting for my roast to cook.

So yeah. I'm not going anywhere. I will watch, and let my freak flag fly, and I will have the time of my life. If buddie never becomes canon? Well so what. I can deal. It's not my first rodeo. Disappointment isn't actually deathly, you know. Trying to avoid disappointment kills hope, and enthusiasm. So yeah, I refuse to manage my expectations. I'm all in, and enjoying this mad ride.

"Well, I'd still take you."

"You think so?"

"I KNOW."

[daisyblog]

Kiss Me

Too Young Masterlist Summary: YN and Louis get cosy on a night-out.

Warning: smoking, alcohol, protected sex

Lottie had nagged YN for weeks to join her on her night out with Louis, Niall and some other mutual friends they all had. YN had tried to use every excuse but Lottie had an answer for each of them. 

Like brother like sister, YN thought! 

After her Mum had coaxed her around saying it was important that she was just YN sometimes and not just a Mum, she agreed. Gemma had offered to look after Arthur as she lived in London and knew YN wouldn’t want to be too far away from him. 

YN was hoping Harry would join them but he had flown out to America a few days prior to meet up with Jeff. 

Since YN and Harry’s conversation at Jay’s house a few weeks ago, YN had tried to be a little more open minded about her situation with Louis. Nothing had changed between the two but she was trying to let her walls down and not be so guarded around him. 

YN couldn’t help but think back to earlier in the evening, when they were both at Louis house getting ready. 

After having Arthur, YN was aware that her body had changed. She was never one to think too much about her appearance, but since that one comment, “Looks like you’re taking a little longer to lose the baby weight.”  from another mum in a baby class she took Arthur to, she felt like she was always conscious about how she looked. 

So when YN pulled up her jeans, she couldn’t help but notice the way they squeezed at her hips. 

Louis noticed YN’s sour expression when she walked into the living room. “You alright darlin'?”. 

“I just hate how I look…my jeans don’t fit and..and I just feel ugly!”. YN took a long breath after she got it all off her chest. "I don't know if I should come Lou.".

Louis wanted to tell her he thought she was beautiful. Her eyes were piercing and one of the first thing he noticed about her all those years ago. How he admires her petite body, because without it he wouldn't have his precious little boy.

He reluctantly walked closer to her, lifting her chin with his thumb and finger. "You're stubborn, strong willed , and a pain in my arse..but the word ugly does not describe you, love!".

There was only a slight gap between them now. If either of them moved an inch, their chests would be touching. Almost like they could both feel the atmosphere change, their eyes met. Louis' hand was now on YN's cheek, hiding the now blush that had appeared at the realisation of how close they were.

YN nervously gulped back her nerves when she saw Louis eyes flick down to her lips, only to move back to meet her eyes again. Time stood still as they both felt themselves being pulled closer. But the sound of Louis' phone ringing made them both jump apart, YN busied herself with filling up her small clutch bag and Louis reached for his pocket.

"It's Lottie!". Louis internally thanked his sister for ruining his moment...good timing Lotts!

---

The group had been at the club for just over an hour when Louis turned and noticed that YN was stood in the corner alone. He looked around to see Lottie and a few of the other girls dancing together. He excused himself from his conversation with Niall and Oli.

"Did the sun just come out? Or did you smile at me?". Louis knew what he was doing using the cheesy line. YN shook her head and rolled her eyes, as she let out a small giggle. "Ah I knew that would make you laugh!".

"You've been spending too much time with Harry, his cringey jokes are rubbing off on you.". YN spoke a bit louder over the music.

Louis wore his famous smirk on his face. "Ey not even Harold could have thought of that one.". He raised his eyebrows so his eyes wider. "Anyway why are yeh not dancin? You love to dance.".

YN only shrugged her shoulders as she watched Lottie spin in around, a drink in her hand as she enjoyed herself. "I don't think I've drunk enough for that yet.'.

"Well we're about to change that..c'mon love!". Louis reached for her hand and walked them back over to where Niall and Oli were stood at bar. "A round of vodka shots please!". He shouted over to the bartender.

---

YN had forgotten what it was like to go out and drink. She could feel her muscles loosen each time she took an extra sip of her drink or when one of the boys gave her another shot of vodka. She had found herself becoming closer to Louis, her hand either in his or his arm draped around her shoulder.

Niall had teased them a few times when he noticed their position. “Hey the last time you were both out drinking you had a baby nine months later…I hope you’ve brought protection this time Tommo!”.

YN only rolled her eyes at the teasing and cuddled further into Louis’ side. “Oh fuck off Horan!”. Louis playfully spat back, but noticing how close YN had gotten to him.

“C’mon I want to dance!”. YN slurred slightly, her words coming out slower than usual. She pulled at Louis hand as they pushed through the crowd to the dance floor.

Louis was taken back at YN’s sudden boost of confidence, as she moved her hips back into him to the rhythm of the club remix playing in the background. As YN began to let loose, Louis couldn’t help but lose control of himself and could feel the excitement that was being hidden by his jeans.

“I’m going for a smoke, do you wanna come?”. Louis spoke into YN’s ear, hoping she would go with him. When YN nodded, Louis pulled them out of the crowd and hurried towards the club door. The cool air hits their warm skin, as the breeze surrounds them.

Louis takes a cigarette out of the packet and hands it to YN, lighting it for her before doing the same with his own white stick that sits between his lips. YN takes a drag before taking it from her mouth blowing the smoke out which sat between her and Louis. He waved his hand to try and get rid of the smoke as he coughed.

“Fuck, you’re smoke got in my eye”. Louis rubbed his eye with his knuckle, noting how YN was full off giggles. “What’s so funny?”.

“I’ve got deja vu”. YN spoke, taking another drag as she held her cigarette between her fingers. “How did the conversation go again? Oh yeah your eyes are pretty”.

Louis wore a smirk. He knew the tension was thick between them but this time it was different, he didn’t want to cross a line now they had Arthur to think about. “You’re a fucking tease, you know that?”.

YN leaned against the wall after she discarded her cigarette. “Who said I’m teasing?”. She started directly into his eyes. “Kiss me!”.

Louis didn’t need to be told twice. He moved his body closer so YN was between him and the wall. His lips found hers like it was a habit. YN’s arms wrapped themselves around his neck, whilst Louis pulled at her hips desperate to feel her close.

”Fuck” Louis mumbled against her lips, their mouths moving together as one. “I’ve missed you”.

“How about we go back to yours and you can show me how much you’ve missed me?”. YN spoke against his lips.

---

Together they moved as one through the front door of Louis house. Moans, grunts and drunken giggles could be heard as they messily moved through the house before landing on Louis bed.

Clothes were blindly removed and thrown to the side, their lips desperately looking for eachother whilst their hands were wandering bare skin.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Louis whispered as his lips left soft pecks down her neck. Goosebumps covers YN’s skin as an affect.

Silence surrounds them as Louis prepares to line himself up but YN quickly stopped him. “I think you’re forgetting something pretty boy!”.

“I thought we made beautiful babies though”. Louis teased as he reached over to the night stand to grab the foil packet, and rolling the condom down his length.

“We do but that’s for future us”. YN spoke as Louis gently pushed himself inside of her, both releasing a moan of pleasure from the action.

“Fuck me, you feel so good!”. Louis grunted as he moved in and out with a steady pace.

YN was trying to hold back her moans but failed. “Uh…uh…fuck…go faster!”.

The room was filled with grunts, moans and the sounds of pleasure as they moved around as one. After some time of swapping positions and pleasuring the other, they both came undone with relief leaving their mouths.

Later on they were both cuddled together, legs tangled in between the sheets. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something”. Louis spoke gently, not wanting to disturb the calmness.

“Yeah?”. YN continued to draw invisible patterns on his bare chest, as she soaked up the moment between them.

“I want us to be a family…like a proper family…and I want us to be together…you know like give things a go!”. Louis rambled, not naming much sense.

“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” YN teased, as she sat up slightly to face him.

“Oi don’t be fucking cheeky!”. Louis couldn’t help but smile as he tickled her hip causing her to giggle. “But yes I’m asking you to be my girlfriend”.

YN leaned in so their faces were almost touching, lips close enough they could feel each other breathe. “I thought you’d never ask!”. Their lips met for the umpteenth time that evening.

Taglist:@jillsvalentinex @itsmytimetoodream @peterholland04 @youcan-nolonger-run @chronicallybubbly

[utilitycaster]

Hope I can phrase this in a way that makes sense but—

What well-known actual-play cast member is your favorite for each of the core D&D class? Not necessarily a specific characters, but I’m interested in which players you think brings the most to each class.

This is a very interesting question! It's a hard one to answer for some classes and very easy for others so bear with me; also there are a couple where I could not pick just one.

I'm sticking to the PHB 12 for, as you said, core classes:

Barbarian: While Travis did give us "I would like to rage," I think Ashley and Taliesin get to share this one for me. I think they both really explore what rage means to someone and while I love a good "I'm a tank because I can take the hits and that's what I do and what I'm good at" story, I also think Yasha's messy relationship with her feelings of guilt and grief, and Ashton's chronic pain, are both incredible ways to play with the barbarian archetype.

Bard: much easier. Sam Riegel and Krystina Arielle. I'm a sucker for someone who actually sings even as I don't think you have to (and have played bard without doing so). It's both clearly a class they each love dearly and it shows, and they're incredibly musically talented performers to boot.

Cleric: Lou Wilson. Especially since I didn't like Fantasy High season 1 Fabian until the end of the season Kingston blew me away. I would love to see him explore cleric again, though it's exciting to see him as a paladin on WBN.

Druid: Emily Axford as Moonshine. Emily as a rule understands D&D classes very well anyway, but I think the culture of the crick and the ways that Moonshine must grow as a character while being a druid take it to the next level. (Also I prefer a caster-heavy druid to a shapechanger-heavy one; that's just me).

Fighter: Back to NADDPod because literally who could I say other than Jake Hurwitz, the man who only plays fighters. People who are new to D&D when they start actual play can be hit or miss imo; some pick it up and some lean harder on being showy to make up for it and it doesn't play well for me personally, but Jake is the greatest hit.

Monk: Marisha Ray; Beau is just generally a great character, and I think Marisha's own experience with martial arts informs the way she plays her; monks can be kind of repetitive in combat even with strong players and she manages to avoid this through her description.

Paladin: This is actually super hard because people don't play straight paladin a lot. This is incorrect of them, but it is an intense class. I think Luis Carazo and Zac Oyama are like...the duality of paladin (and indeed, redemption paladin). The tragedy and the comedy.

Ranger: Laura Bailey, natch; it's funny because Vex is in many ways not the archetypal ranger due to having high charisma, but she is simply my favorite and that's that on that. Sorry the mechanics were so bad; I would love to see more rangers in D&D even though Vex will be hard to dethrone. I promise Tasha's fixed them!

Rogue: I think I'm actually going Murph on this one. I like when rogues are more of the detective/spy type than the assassin/criminal type [obligatory "of course that's what you'd say you stupid paladin stan"] and inquisitive and arcane trickster are probably my two top rogue classes so Riz it is.

Sorcerer: I do consider PF1e cheating here because it's technically a different system that also imo addresses a lot of the weaknesses of sorcerer/makes it way better, but Bryn Monroe of RQG did play a great sorcerer. In D&D? Giving Emily Axford a second spot here for Saccharina. I'm going to talk about this for warlock, but I think sorcerer is a class you don't have to justify but if you don't it's a little unsatisfying. Sorcerer really shines in the Crown of Candy setting, and metamagic often doesn't live up to its reputation but Emily makes it work for her.

Warlock: Travis Willingham. I think there are classes that are kind of self-explanatory, for lack of a better term; you can play a fighter or rogue or even a bard or druid without going super deep into why the character is this class and still be an incredible character (though a good backstory never hurts). But there are others where you really need to be engaging with the class at all times to make it work, and warlock is one of them, and Fjord explores the warlock pact and what it means like few others.

Wizard: Aabria Iyengar. NO ONE gets wizard hubris as a player like Aabria. Knowledge is power and boy do wizards love knowledge. I especially like that most people in 5e play wizards as genuine adventurers because it feels very easy to play them as old guy in robes swept up in events beyond them; Aabria plays wizards who are combat ready with the humanity and backstory to make the difficult decisions sympathetic and meaningful, and I think that's how you have to play it.

Note: I want to specifically call out Liam O'Brien and Siobhan Thompson as "people I trust in basically any class or system and just didn't happen to hit a favorite here due to sky-high competition/personal preferences". They are both very close seconds for wizard.

[readriordan]

Happy Halloween!

A day of ghouls and specters, there isn't a better time to be a chthonic demigod - aka a demigod of the Underworld! So let's check in on some of our favorite chthonic kids and see how they spent their holiday:

Nico di Angelo

"I'm not exactly the most popular kid in Camp Half-Blood most days, but Halloween is different. We didn't really celebrate it back in my day in Italy, but I almost feel obligated now. I mean, I'm king of ghosts, I think that means I win Halloween, right? Anyways, I turned Cabin 13 into a haunted house for the other campers this evening. I've even got skeletons roaming around, and Jules-Albert is giving out candy. Usually people would be screaming about that, but the other campers love it. It's nice to be seen as cool for a change."

Hazel Levesque

"Camp Jupiter is busy during the holidays! Everybody's going trick-or-treating around New Rome. In the legion the cohorts are giving out candy to each other and holding a competition to see who can get the biggest haul. Even the lares are getting in on the fun trying to prank campers. Frank and I are on duty in the praetors' offices for any trick-or-treaters who come by. Usually some of the houses in New Rome stay open a little bit later though for the centurions once they get off of door duty, so we'll still have time to go wandering later. Plus, we get all the leftovers anyways, so we'll have plenty of treats regardless!"

Clovis

"Oh, Lou Ellen and I made a deal for tonight - she's going as Kiki from Kiki's Delivery Service, and she said if she can turn me into a cat for the evening she'll split her candy with me 50/50. And I get to nap the whole time. Not too bad of a deal for me, honestly. If I want I could honestly probably make the rounds again for seconds, since nobody would know I was already there. Total win-win."

Lou Ellen Blackstone

"Clovis probably already told you about my costume, but what he doesn't know is that my cabin is going all out. We're not gonna let Cabin 13 win spookiest haunted house, at least not without a fight! Sure he has skeletons and ghosts, but like, c'mon! That's gotta be cheating, right? Us Hecate kids take Halloween very seriously, of course. Especially trick-or-treat. Let's just say we tend to prefer the trick half a little bit more. We'll see how many campers get turned into animals by the end of the night. Unfortunately, Clovis doesn't count towards that."

Alabaster Torrington

"Well, normally I would be spending Halloween with my family, but seeing as the gods exiled me, I can't. That's alright though - I have a plan. You see, me and Dr. Claymore are gonna go scam campers out of their candy. I may be exiled, but as long as I stay outside the borders of Camp Half-Blood, I'm not breaking the rules, and they never said anything about Mistforms. And I might be able to say hi to my half-siblings while I'm there. Just as long as nobody rats me out to Chiron we're good. I'm sure I can convince them to keep quiet in exchange for king-sized candy bars. Oh, someone's coming - gotta go!"

What a spooky bunch! We hope you all had a happy and safe Halloween with plenty of treats.

[lemotmo]

Okay it has a bit more of their lunacy but more importantly it looks like we also got one of the reasons why some people are jumping ship, and it makes sense. Also we should all totally start saying that is who these people really are, haha. They would die.

Q. What does it feel like to ship a couple of playground bullies? You must be so proud.

Q. Wow Oliver's true colors are so disappointing. What an utter lap dog he is to Ryan. Hope they enjoy one another because no one will want anything to do with either one of them when Lou comes out and says how awful they are to him.

Q. I just feel so bad for Lou. He tried so hard to fit in with them and be friends and they went out of their way to exclude him and make fun of those of us who genuinely love and appreciate him. They can have each other. I'm all for the show giving Tommy a different love interest. He deserves better than Oliver/Buck.

Q. So I was a B/T shipper because it was the canon ship. But I was there for Buck and those psychos wanted us to start going around and bashing Oliver and spamming Twitter and Instagram with how awful he is. Yeah they can keep their crazy. I'll go back to happily waiting for Buddie. What a brunch of losers.

Q. Current canon ship or not, I'm out. I don't play about Oliver/Buck. I was happy to ship the current canon but I draw the line at openly hating on Oliver. They're crazy.

Q. You come for my boy and the other boy I have loved for 6 years and I'm out. I shipped it because it was the current canon. You want to try and force me to turn on Oliver and Ryan you're sadly mistaken. You freaks can have each other. What a complete waste of my time.

A. Once again this has all resulted from a mustache Instagram filter. I cannot make sense of you people at all. So I've decided that you are not actually Lou/Tommy fans. I think Lou got together with a couple of his friends and decided he wanted some attention. So he asked his friends to go online and pretend to be massive Tommy fans to see if he could force the show's hands. Only no one cared so you all double drowned and decided to try and prove that the audience actually prefers Tommy to Buck. But that has backfired spectacularly and now you and Lou are stuck because he can't come out and say he made all of you up for attention because that would be pathetically embarrassing. So instead you all just have to pretend to become more and more detached from reality. I hope he paid you all well for this because yikes. Don't try to convince me that you're not actually Lou and his friends. I've decided that makes sense in my head so it is now fact, and you're all bigots if you try and disagree with me (did I do that right, guys?).

Anyway, to the Oliver anons, that was always going to be the problem for the Lou diehards. The majority of you were going to be there for Buck. And the more obvious it became, especially with Oliver, that it isn't anything to really invest in most of you were always going to walk away. That's why they were so desperate to start a fandom war. Their only hope was to try and turn people against Oliver and Ryan. It was the dumbest of dumb strategies and watching it completely fall apart for them over an Instagram filter Oliver and Ryan were having fun with is absolutely fitting. They deserve their demise to be this utterly ridiculous.

I know I'm repeating myself over and over again, but still-- thank you so much Nonny for dropping this into my inbox.

A bit of a follow up to the previous ask and-- yeah, I just. No. I promised myself to not lose anymore brain cells to this lunacy. I can't anymore with these people.

But I am so thankful and happy to see that a lot of the more mainstream BT shippers who love the show, who were mostly in it for Buck and because they enjoyed the BT dynamic (Nothing wrong with that by the way. Ship and let ship!) have seen how this small subset of Tommy fans is behaving towards the cast. I know that some of the shippers weren't sure about the stories and rumours going around about Tommy stans being blocked and things like that. Today we have seen enough proof of that kind of behaviour to leave no doubt.

Anyway, on to better things I hope.

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[storyofmychoices]

Lost & Found

I can't thank the always wonderful @cashweasel enough for this incredible art! This gorgeous art is inspired by my rewrite of Mal and Daenarya's emotional reunion which completely disregards PBs canon. Mal Volari is not going to be so calm and casual when the love of his life returns. There are weak knees and tears! He is a beautiful mess and Lou completely captured this here!

Snippet of this scene from "The Quest for Daenarya" which takes place outside Mal's Orphanage below the cut.

(for context, right before this scene the orphans told Mal they found Daenarya, he thinks they are playing pretend and trying to cheer him up but he goes along with them anyway)

He closed his eyes, shaking away her memory. He couldn't do this. Not now. He could break down later. But not while the children were there. He counted his breaths and shook the tears away, knowing that when he opened his eyes, the vision of her would be gone. 

But she wasn't.

Her glistening eyes met his own as she stood locked with his gaze. "Mal." 

She rushed forward, throwing her arms around his neck. She buried her face in him. 

It took him a moment longer to return the gesture. He half expected her to melt away if he touched her, but she didn't. His arms enveloped her as he pulled her closer. 

As Mal held Daenarya in his arms, the world around him seemed to blur and fade away. The sensation of her presence, her warmth, her breath against his neck, was almost too much to bear. His knees grew weak, and for a moment, he feared he might collapse under the weight of his emotions. Everything he had felt during their time apart, the grief, the longing, the guilt, all of it surged to the surface in this one overwhelming moment of reunion. He clung to her as if she were his lifeline as if letting go would mean losing her all over again. She was his rock, his hope, and his strength. If it was not for her, he wouldn't be standing now. 

"Is it really you?" His words were a broken cry in her ear.

"It's me." She clung to him, refusing to let go. "It's me."

"How?" 

Her hands cradled his face as she met his gaze once more. She needed to see him. "It doesn't matter right now." Her thumb brushed over the coarse hair of his beard. "I'm here now. That's all that matters. I'm here." 

Unable to contain his overwhelming emotions any longer, Mal gently pulled Daenarya closer, his lips seeking hers in a tender, passionate kiss. It was a kiss filled with longing and love. A kiss that spoke of all the time they had spent apart and all the moments they had yearned for this reunion. All the pain and sorrow of the past year melted away, leaving only the pure, unbridled joy of their love. The world around them could have crumbled, and they wouldn't have noticed. For at this moment, it was only the two of them. 

continue reading here 💜

[Mal Volari x Daenarya Blades 1 + Beyond] [Mal’s Orphanage]

[Mal Volari x Daenarya Blades 2 AU]

[twopoppies]

hi gina!! I hope you're having a great day.

this is gonna be a weird message, I know, you don't have to answer, you can absolutely ignore it, don't worry. it might bother you, I'm not sure.

so. I've always been a larry. always. I've always believed H and L have been in love with each other, ever since they first met. but I haven't really been active in the fandom lately, mostly because of work and personal issues. I still used tumblr occasionally, to see if there were news or just to check what was happening in general. I didn't have time to watch louis' docu until yesterday.

and. well. now, for the first time, I believe freddie is louis' son. and trust me when I tell you that up until 2 days ago I thought he most definitely wasn't. I don't know, the way he looks, the way lou talks about him and acts around him... I think he's his son.

so, because of this "realization", I basically reconsidered everything I believed in. my head is kind of a mess, because I still want to think there was something between them but that maybe something happened and they broke up or idk... maybe it really was just a relationship we made up. I feel like shit, like I'm "betraying" all of you, I don't know how to explain it.

one thing is certain, even if they were together, I believe that right now they're not an item anymore, and they haven't been for a very long time. I feel so weird, I can't believe I'm actually writing this words.

you might ask yourself why tf I'm telling you all this, and I'm really, really sorry, but there's no one in my life I can talk to about this. and gina, you and your account have always been amazing. I used to check your account all the time, to see what was happening or for fic recs. so yeah, when I was thinking about who I was gonna tell this (because I feel like I need to tell someone or I'm gonna go insane), you're the first person that came to mind. again, I'm sorry. I kinda feel like an idiot.

so yeah, here I am, I can't believe I don't think they're together anymore. I feel guilty, like me/us believing in larry was the reason they stopped being friends, like it hurt them somehow. I used to hate people who believe this. ugh. I'm sorry.

But who knows, maybe I'm wrong. there's a part of me who wants to be.

you're a great person gina, I'm sorry for bothering you with this. thank you.

Hi, love. So, I’ve very honestly lost all interest in trying to rationalize with people about babygate. If you believe Louis is a dad, and you believe that changes everything you ever knew and thought about him as a person and him and Harry as a couple, you do you.

I know what I know. I know what I’ve seen. But it’s very obvious that for some reason Louis wants people to believe he’s a dad.

I watched this clip of Zayn today on the Zach Sang show talking about his daughter. The facial expressions, the pride in his voice, the anecdotes he tells… that’s a dad.

x

But Louis is a dad. Ok. 👍🏻

Anyway, once upon a time, they wanted and needed our very vocal support. They don’t anymore. I hope that even if you think “Larry” never existed, if you think fans ruined their friendship, if you think Louis is a dad, if you think Harry and Louis were together but aren’t now… whatever you think about their personal lives, I hope you can enjoy their music because that’s all they seem to really want from their fans these days. ❤️

[girlbloggersfolly]

DELTA DAWN - part 2// Bee in your bonnet

Pairing: camp counselour!joel miller x camp lifeguard!afab!reader

Rating: E!!!!! 18+ MDNI

Word count: 4.8k

Summary: (1979 summer camp AU) Things go south one morning after a particularly catty argument between Joel and our lifeguard in Joel's boat shed/self proclaimed 'man cave'. - Pictures in the moodboard are simply to get the imagination racing and for me to spill my pinterest all over your screens, the reader is at no point described!

Chapter warnings: age gap (20 + 49), enemies to loves - i mean it, mean!joel, lowkey mean!reader but we love them both, slight vouyerism, cigarette smoking, talk of pornographic magazines, complicated relationship (billy and reader dw), oral (fem receiving), semi-public sex (door open but thats it, degrading, pet names (kiddo, sweetie, doll - the good stuff ykyk), fingering idk, slow burn, fem!masturbation dirty talk, no descriptors of reader except she has hair and is a similar height to joel cause im tired of the lack of tall girl representation in fics, sorry... if that ruins it for you just imagine i never said that), NO USE OF Y/N.

a/n: eekkkk ok you can probably tell from his horrific piece of writing that ive never done proper smut and i went a little overboard but i'm sure you'll like it anyway. i've probably got one or two more parts of their story left in me, depending on how happy i want the ending to be. Id love to get requests if anyone has any bright ideas! I love the 3 people who are reading this, it really makes me blush and you don't even know it.... also lmk if you want to be on the taglist for any future writings xxxx

-----

You were up in the chair early. Waking especially to sit and watch as the sun rose higher over the lake and above the pines, hoping to get there before Joel, just so you had time to ground yourself. You toyed with the cigarette between your fingers, a habit of yours that had really been getting you through the last agonising couple of days of avoiding Joel Miller, but there was no putting it off this morning. 

Kayaking. Something you’d never really specialised in and were not convinced you'd know how to deal with if things were to go south.However, as always, you kept your doubts to yourself. Joel was taking the kids today, he was good with them and obviously knew what he was doing on the water. You hoped that meant no accidents.

“No smoking in the chair, cupcake.” Here we go again.

“Good morning to you too, cupcake.” You rolled your eyes, not bothering to turn around to see the one thing on your frazzled mind, not bothering to put out the cigarette either, 

“Kids’ll be here soon, Lou’s bringin’em” He said coldly in reply, standing beside your chair, his face level with your hips as he looked out to the water.

 Even being raised above him like this you still felt vulnerable, what was it about him? He turned to look up at you with his big arms crossed against his torso, “so, be a doll and put that thing out f’me will’ya?” The chair rocked slightly as he patted it, condescending as ever. 

You rolled your eyes yet again and dropped the cigarette down beside his feet, raising your eyebrows. It was bratty and yeah probably a little crueller than required, but it felt damn good. “Happy?” you were pushing it, really pushing it, you could see it in Joel's hard expression. his impressive profile was only defined by the hot mid-morning sun as he glared up at you through narrowed eyes. He put on his ray-bans and turned away. =

The kids hung onto every word he said as he stood in front of you explaining to them how to kayak, in a way they never did with Billy or Abel, or even Sharon. You tried to listen, tried to look out at the lake, tried to do something that wasn't blatantly staring at his tight ass, the muscles in his back under his t-shirt. It was torture, adjusting in your chair, shifting around like a bitch in heat. 

“Eyes on the water, lifeguard,” He taunted you from the deck, you’d really needed to remember your sunglasses next time. 

If you thought the other day was bad, this was worse, sitting there melting into your lifeguard chair watching Joel being the hottest man alive and not caring how it might make you feel. The kids were playing capture the flag in the woods by the light of the setting sun, giving you a minute to cool off against a tree, the cigarettes lighting themselves at this point. 

Your skin was lit up by the orange light that dotted through the trees as it sunk below the horizon. It was the first moment of mercy you’d gotten from this god-awful day of Joel Miller and his stupid tanned skin, the little sweat droplets on the back of his neck, his salt and pepper scruff, the thought of how it would feel against your inner-

“Found you,” You smelt Billy before you saw him, his freckled arms embracing you from behind, knocking you out of your dreamy state. 

“You know this thing? It's called a shower, real cool I hear?” You chuckled, trying to laugh a little to disguise it as a joke, the last thing it was.

“Haha, very funny,” Billy smirked, planting wet kisses across your neck from behind, the moustache he’d been trying to grow tickling your jaw. 

“Quit it,” You raised your hands, your shoulders tensing like an alarmed cat as he grinds messily against you, “There's kids around you little shit.”

Billy murmured a chuckle against your skin, his tongue tracing against it, a sensation that had the hairs on your arms standing up. “I’ll make it quick,” Now there was something you could count on. 

“I said quit,” you turned abruptly to look at him, brushing yourself off, realising the harsh tone of voice you’d used. He looked pained, his eyebrows furrowed, eyes darting around your face quizzically. 

“You know what,” Billy folded his arms, looking you up and down bitterly, “Im tired of you being a fuckin’ prude the whole time,” His voice was raised, whiny, trying to sound like his father. 

You scoffed, putting your head in your hands and shaking your head in disbelief, this kid was insane. “Its not my duty to fuck you whenever you so wish, christ, you really are an entitled son of a gun,” 

Billy stamped out his cigarette onto the ground, “Nasty bitch,” he shook his head, spitting on the floor, charming. “Don’t know why I even bother.” He marched off, back to his cabin probably, off to write another song about how much he hates women you’d have the pleasure of hearing at his next gig.

The day was dragging, it seemed unceasing, like this spiralling, horny, angry mess that was your body. The forest was quiet again without Billy’s cursing, often you’d hear a distant shout from a kid who’d been caught or a group of them running around, but it was hard to differentiate from a bird call, or the wind in the trees.

“Trouble in paradise.” Great. 

“Look, I am not in the mood, so be a sweetie and kindly fuck the fuck off.” 

That earnt an impressed chuckle from behind you, another pair of broad shoulders leaning beside you on the tree. “S’ my darn woods, ‘do whatever the hell i like, thank you missy,”

“Joel I'm serious, whatever witty little jabs you're cooking up, save them for another day,” You looked to him, it was hard to look away whenever you did. 

“Wasn’t,” He shrugged, there was that gruff, southern nonchalance yet again, christ how it got to you, the complete opposite of Billy’s incessant bitching. You almost wished he cared enough to go off on you the way Billy tried to. 

“Well…” you paused, eyes darting over his face, the strong profile, low set brows, those pouty lips you’d gotten pretty damn used to this week. “Dont,” you concluded.

“You really do have a bee in your bonnet don't you, kiddo,” there it was, just as you’d predicted, calm and collected and making you want to blow his brains out.

You shrugged. “Its Billy,” You shook your head, well that was only one of the bees in your very buzzy bonnet, Joels fucking face was the other. “You heard?” 

He nodded, “I heard enough,” you both stood in the ambience of the evening, kids whooping, birds sounding from the trees. “Billy’s a dick you know that, ‘don’t know a single fucker from here to Timbuktu that dont know that,”  

You couldn't help but chuckle, relaxing further against the tree, your shoulders untensing for the first time in weeks, forgetting who the enemy was. “You know fuckers in Timbuktu?” 

“I bet I do,” he nodded, crossing his arms against his broad chest, the camp staff t-shirt barely accommodating his largeness. 

Joel sighed, looking over at you, “got one of them cancer sticks you're always suckin’ on?” you had a whole pack of them in your back pocket. 

He thanked you and lit one with the janky lighter you'd stolen from Abel, smoke muddying your view of him. There was a lull. “I don't know why you lead that bastard on,” he said through the smoke. 

“Im hardly leading him on,” You scoffed, lighting a cigarette for yourself. “He was the one who wanted to keep this to strictly fuck-buddies,” Lucky for you, imagine being Billies girlfriend, jeepers.

“Sounds like you can’t even do that?” he smirked, and there he was again. 

“You know, as I find myself repeating these days, s’really none of your business,” you laughed, turning to him, sighing through the familiar heat in your abdomen, the butterflies that felt more like horse flies in your stomach back and buzzing harder than ever. 

“You're makin’ it my business, havin’ your lover's spat in my earshot.” he retaliated calmly.

you opened your mouth to bite back with something that attempted to match his condescension, but that was an impossible task. “You know what,” you settled on, again grasping for something to finish that sentence. “Fuck,” again you were gotten the better of.

“I’m stuck with him for the next three weeks, so, gotta keep sweet for that long I guess, maybe put out a couple times.” 

He nodded, stamping out his cigarette next to billies, “S’a damn shame,” The eye contact felt like glass in your eyes, felt a big hand twisting your throat till it turned blue, it was those eyes of his in that permanent, laboured squint which you assumed came with age, they killed you. A damn shame. The words played on repeat like a song on Sharon's broken radio, the static soiling his voice in your mind. A damn shame. He was right, it was a damn shame. 

“Would you make sure to deal with those kayaks tomorrow morning’, lifeguard? Just gotta pile em’ up in the shed,” He said over his shoulder as he turned to saunter away. 

Before you could get your bearings, you were alone again, admittedly less grateful for it too. 

Morning, kayaks, shed. Sounded like a relatively agreeable task that wasn't asking too much right? Wrong. You were lucky your body had gotten into the rhythm of waking up at sunrise cause this was a goliath task. Hauling 15 kayaks from one side of the lake to the other wasn't something you’d factored into your morning of rest and relaxation. You’d planned to take a secret dip, maybe grab a coffee, take a shower if you had time. But no, you were out sweating under the morning sun, huffing like a workhorse.

When the last kayak was hauled into the dirty little shed you reclined on the desk, all dusty and grotty but it didn’t even matter. Heck, you weren't even perturbed by the smug house spider that was perched close to your palm, not even giving a second thought to the porn magazine discarded beside your head. All you could think about was how this wasn't what you’d bargained for when you agreed to go on this little jaunt up to the northwest, oh yeah, and how much you hated Joel Miller. 

After a couple of minutes of huffing and puffing, grumbling to yourself about how you were meant to be in LA by now, living a rich and famous life as some kind of starlet, a model, an actress maybe. The shed was a mess, every surface littered with junk. There was fishing equipment, books, more beer cans than you could count, the whole thing screamed Joel. 

Soon, without even meaning to, your nimble fingers were straightening objects, tossing the cans into the bin, dusting, flicking through boxes, you even took the spider outside. 

“Hey,” You heard a jumpy voice from behind you, clearly receiving the same fright you’d got from the sound of his voice. “What are you-” It was Joel, an accusatory expression all over his knitted brow. He saw the small desk bin behind your back, the cans in it, he saw the neat shelves and dusted desk with all his papers stacked orderly. 

“Hey hey hey, I have a system..” Joel bolted over to where you stood, snatching the bin out of your hands, his knuckles grazing yours, you were in deep if such a small gesture made your heart drop so far down. “There's a system,” he repeated, running a hand through his hair and leaning back on his uncluttered desk, looking… pained, addled by the whole thing. 

You scoffed, enjoying seeing Joel off guard, it was always you getting snuck up on, getting caught in a vulnerable situation. “Is the system complete chaos, cause wow Joel, im impressed,” you put your hands on your hips, your little red shorts riding dangerously high. 

“No one asked you to go messing in my affairs,” he tutted, rubbing his brow, god he was a drama queen. 

“Your affairs?” you laughed maniacally, “By your affairs do you mean a few dozen beer bottles, some dusty kayaks and your crusty spank bank mag?” 

He scoffed, looking down at the magazine down on the desk. He'd been got, he’d give you that. “Just clear off, don’t need your bitchin,” He turned his back on you, tampering with your neat new order on his desk, “too damn early,”

You were furious, not even a thank you? If not for drastically improving his workspace, at least for stacking the kayaks, a lot of work if you did say so yourself. “Are you kidding,” you whined, walking up to stand behind him, trying to get his attention. 

“I’ve been doing hard fucking labour, sleepy head, what were you doing? Jerking it into a porn mag I'm guessing?” he chuckled at this, turning over his shoulder to look at your exasperated expression. “Hard labour?” he murmured, audibly amused by your claim.

“Oh you poor thing,” he mocked, turning round fully to look at you, “Doll, you ain’t done a day of hard labour in your pretty little life.” He smirked wildly.

“You don’t know a thing about my life Miller,” you said, sounding like some cheesy cowboy movie, his accent rubbing off on her a little. This caused a full belly laugh to erupt from him, it caught you off guard.

“Your life ain't nothin’ but sunshine and rainbows, sugar, maybe a day’a ‘hard labour’ would do you some good.” He chuckled, walking across the room and correcting the ‘mess’ you made of his ‘system’. “Fuck you,” you bellowed, crossing your arms, your eyes wide and full of fury as you watched him in all his casual, condescending glory. 

“You are maybe the most infuriating motherfuck on this damn earth,” you said through your teeth, so mad, so hot, so done with it all. He just chuckled again, raising his eyebrows, you were starting to just want his attention, wanting him to reciprocate your anger, not caring how you got there. 

“And by the way, I don't care how you see it, I've been up all morning slaving away at something I am certainly not paid for and I don't even get a thank you?” You blurted out, the words falling out of you, you convinced yourself you felt sweat actually drip from your chin. 

He turned to you, annoyingly amused, but there was something else, an underlying rage that really disrupted the usual sedate presence he provided. “Thank you?” He smirked, quirking an eyebrow. 

You paused, never had you ever felt so damn angry at a man. “Listen up-” you began with a huff before being interrupted by Joel stalking over to you with a hostile smirk on his face. Towering over you even though you were a similar height, you backed up against his desk very slightly, trying to keep your chin raised cockily. 

“Are you always this fuckin’ cranky?” he shook his head in amused disbelief and let out an exasperated scoff at the stuttering look on your face. 

You could feel your heart beating like that of a hamster, hammering against your chest. He was so close you could smell him, old spice deodorant, campfires, the slightest tang of sweat and lake water, also the musty dust smell of the shack, you thought you might faint like some Victorian chick. 

He was close, too close for comfort, his muscular frame, the threat of a non-sedate Joel wasn't something that settled you. You gazed into those eyes of his, narrow and all-seeing under a thick, heavy brow. “How’re we gonna cheer you up, huh kiddo?” He raised his eyebrows in mock concern, your mouth was left agape, eyes so wide they might pop. Joel was closer now, looking down at her very slightly, his breath fanned over her face. Holy fuck.

“Can’t have you all bitchy after doin’ me one little task, now can we?” He said after a beat, placing his hand on your jaw, wiping away a caked bit of dirt, probably from all that ‘hard labour,’ his big thumb moved from your jaw to swipe across your lips softly, gently feeling the plush, pillowy skin, freshly chapstick-ed from the Carmex in your pocket. “Can we, sugar?” he repeated the rhetorical question down at you. She shook her head lightly, the obedience hitting her like a 10 foot wave. 

“That's better, that's it, that's better,” He said softly, like he was talking to a jumpy animal. “Not so hard being a nice girl is it now? Not so bad?” he cocked his head and raised her brow, she shook her head absentmindedly once more, completely entranced by whatever was happening to her right here against Joel's desk. 

He nodded, his hand darting between your teeth, his other fingers holding your jaw still underneath. The other hand rested precariously on your thigh, leaning closer so you were sat up on the desk, right beside the dirty mag. 

He let his hand trace drowsy circled under the hem of your shorts, his eyes following, “Think you're cute?” he smirked, his eyes told a different story, taunting, stormy. “walkin' round in those little damn shorts, all prissy, like you own the place?” He said darkly, almost to yourself, holding your eyes with his, his thumb swiping between your teeth, pressing the pad against your tongue. “Suck,” You did it straight away, hollowing your cheeks out and letting whatever this was happen.

You convinced yourself it was some kind of gross fever dream, being out in the heat for the last few days had given you hallucinations, but it felt real, the taste was real on your tongue, his taste. you lapped it up like medicine. 

He clenched his jaw and gazed at your lips wrapping around his thick thumb, fuck. His fingers grazed the seam of your bikini bottoms under your shorts, he could already feel how warm you were down there, how much this was getting to you. He held eye contact with you as he pulled your shorts off, motioning for you to lift your ass, you were feeling compliant, a rare feeling. 

Your bikini bottoms followed, leaving you bare on the desk, the lifeguard top riding up your midriff revealing your glistening (very 70s (interpret that however you like)) cunt to the daylight that streamed in through the open door - a risk Joel seemed to be taking, or something he probably hadn't even considered. 

He rolled his neck, his hands on his hips, he seemed to be considering his options, weighing up the consequences. You pushed your knees together, hoping for a little modesty, the answer was no as Joel's big hands reached down and parted your legs once again. 

“Ah, ah, baby,” he smirked wildly, truly a man starved. He reached down and dragged his finger between your folds, holding the wet digit to the light. It was all achingly slow, he sucked his finger clean, his eyes on yours as he tasted you, letting out a gruff, guttural groan. 

“This gonna keep you sweet?” he said with an icy smirk, her skin was like a furnace; a sweaty, wet, flustered, confused puddle on this desk, dripping everywhere. “Keep you outta my way for a couple days maybe, kiddo?” He chuckled, looking at her domineeringly. “How’s that sound?” 

You nodded eagerly, your expression desperate, whiny, you needed this bad. “When you touch yourself, whadd’ya think 'bout?” he taunted, leaning a hand either side of your hips on the desk, “You,” you gave in, it was just too easy when he talked to you like that. 

“Show me,” He smirked, his words almost a growl, you raised your eyebrows. “Your a pretty little idiot aren'cha?” Now he was just being mean. “Touch yourself the way you do when you're in your cabin, up in your bunk, squirmin’ around,” 

It was so easy, to let him order you around, to succumb to it. The heat, all the bantering, it had melted you into putty in his hands, it’d get to anyone. So there you were, on Joel Miller's desk, bare on the bottom half, your hand drawing tight circles around your aching clit. 

“Fuck,” you bit down on your lip, it was all overwhelming, the feeling of an orgasm coiling around your spine, the blistering, green-house-type heat that had you all rosy and sweaty, the fact that Joel was stood right there, crossing his arms, watching you like a hawk. You knew he’d be a voyeur. 

You watched as his wire snapped and he’d had enough of just watching, adjusting the tent in his shorts. He knelt down in front of you, his eyes looking bigger than usual from this angle, wilder almost feral. he pulled at your hips violently, hoisting you around so your back was flat against the desk, your head leant up against the wall so you could watch exactly what he was going to do to you. 

His mouth was hot against you, licking a stripe up your seam. You could’ve sworn you heard him moan at the taste, felt the vibrations against your core. “This cunt is wasted on Keenan,” He chuckled, not even pulling away from you to lay his jab at Billy, he never could resist the chance. 

You moaned loudly, your hair flying into his hair, feeling the chocolatey, salt and pepper ends in your fingers and you pulled hard, close now. “Don’t fucking stop,” you whimpered, grinding your hips against his face, nose deep in your pussy. 

“Fuck, does he kiss it this good, doll?” He murmured, the vibrations of his baritone drawl against your aching clit were enough to make you toss your head back in sheer ecstasy, that coil winding uncomfortably tight, threatening to snap. 

“He doesn't.” you chuckled through moans, Billy had never ever eaten you out, no matter how many killer blowies you’d served to him on a silver platter. This seemed to appal Joel, who only licked deeper, slower against you, it was agonisingly good, toe curling. He scoffed down there, his thick index finger working at your hole now, dipping in easily despite how tight you were.

 “Poor thing, thas’ why you're so wound up,” He mewled from below, his voice patronising, taunting, but it touched you, “haven’t had someone take care of this pretty cunt in too long hmm? shit, I’d be mean too.” He said with a wet smirk, pulling away to slot another finger in, but you wouldn't give. “Won’t be able to take my cock if you can take two fingers down here,” He chuckled, taunting you further.

“Please don't stop Joel,” you squealed, pulling his hair painfully tight between your fingers, his condescending words only making you hotter, you weren’t usually into that, but shit, Joel could be wearing a fucking tutu and you’d be into it, come to think of it… 

He was grinning smugly as he pushed his fingers into you at a gruelling pace, the desk shook underneath you, your head thrown back against the wall. “Billy hasn't done me any damn favours down here, you're tight as a virgin, baby,” you could see the smirk on his stupid face even with your eyes clenched shut. 

Your release hit harder than it ever had before, your leg shook hard, a string of ‘fuck’s and ‘holy shit’s, laced with a fair pinch of ‘Joel’s and ‘baby’s, blurted out of your lips, you felt your abdomen clench and moaned incoherently, but Joel wasn't quitting, still kitten licking at your inflamed core, fingers curling up and into you, finding a new depth with every push. 

“Joel stop, it-its,” you panted, not even recognising your own voice now, your vision blurred. Overstimulated didn't even sum it up, that shit hurt. 

He didn't care, lost in your taste, lost in the feeling of you clenching around his digits. “Cocky little lifeguard, you're the bane of my life, you know that sweetie?” He said against your wetness, not giving a flying fuck how uncomfortable this was getting, knowing soon you’d ride it into another earth-eating orgasm. 

“Really shouldn't be doin’ this with’ya, Can’t be,” He said over your moans as the discomfort bled into insatiable pleasure, the desk hard against your clammy ass, your release leaking down your thigh and pooling below you. “Holy fuck-” you squealed, your hand on his shoulder to stop yourself from collapsing, the other interwined in his thick hair, that must’ve hurt. 

“How old even are you?” he asked with a mischievous chuckle, pulling his face away and slowing his hand movements, no no no no no. Your brain was fuzzy, all you could process was that Joel had stopped and that felt like death. “20,” She said quickly, needing him to continue. He knew what he was doing, taking a moment to process, watching the way you were squirming, so desperate for him yet again. 

“You're too young for me, kiddo,” He said as he dove back into your crotch, a very contradictory statement when reflected against his actions so far this morning, i know. “I am not,” you bit back through a whimper, pouting, your eyes fluttering shut once again.

 “How old’re you anyways,” you panted, your words all broken and high pitched, too fucked-out to feel humiliated. “76?” You chuckled, feeling your second orgasm of the morning chasing after you. 

He bit down ever so slightly on your clit, causing you to wince and buck your hips, it didn't cause any damage or hurt, just hard enough to shut your bratty ass up. “49, missy,” he replied coldly from below you. “Watch it,” 

“You wanna take my 76 year old cock next? think you can take it?” He smirked, pulling away to focus on his hand movements, in and out, hitting that spongy part of you, deeper than you could ever get. You nodded, words almost escaping you for the first time in your smart-ass life. He chuckled deeply at this, a hearty sound you were starting to crave like a meth-head. “She’s a trooper, ain’t she?” He breathed in your ear, planting a small, firm kiss on your neck, his fingers gaining a bruising pace, loud wails escaping your quivering lips.

“Fuck j-joel,” you stammered, your hot breath fanning against his neck, “want, need your cock,” you were getting needy, washed up by the incoming wave of your orgasm, ready to hit just as hard as before, if that was physically possible. “Don't get greedy now,” He smirked down at you, eyes wild. Hot tears were rolling down your cheeks, salty and stinging, your body shaking, giving way to another tortuous release. 

He pulled his hand away and sucked eagerly at his drenched fingers, watching as you came apart on the desk, moaning and whining for him. 

He sat you up, grabbing a coke from his outdoor refrigerator and leaning against it as he opened it, muscles flexing he clicked it open, tossing the bottle opener to the side and handing it to you. You grasped it with clammy palms, your vision slowly coming back, your body still fucked-out and trembling, cock-dumb for a cock you hadn't even had. 

“Welp,” He put his hands on his hips, like some suburban dad done with a barbecue, “that was real nice, weren't it?” He patted you on the shoulder, ignoring the bewildered expression on your face. 

“Duty calls, kids’ll be down here in an hour or so,” he slapped his thighs and raised his eyebrows, it was as if he’d just given you a friendly handshake, not eaten you out and made you cum twice. 

“Aren’t you going to..” you stopped yourself, you’d been awaiting the next round, (even if you weren't sure you could take another round) the one he’d talked about with that same smug look on his face as he finger-fucked you. 

He grinned down at her, ruffling your hair, “another time hey kiddo?” he said kindly, but it was perhaps the furthest thing from kind you’d ever seen. You glared up at him in disbelief, mouth agape, cheeks rosy, skin glassy from tears of pleasure, you didn't even know that was a thing. He patted you on the shoulder, smiling earnestly, that glint of mischief turned to one of absolute cruelty in his eyes. 

“Atta’ girl.” 

And he was gone. Joel was out the door as quickly as he’d entered, leaving you panting, bottomless and flushed and sweaty, your shorts half way across the room, the coke bottle dampening your fingers.

 He’d really done a number on you, gotten you all needy and riled up, then done something to you that no one had ever bothered with. Then he’d just left, like it wasn't the best you’d ever felt, like you hadn't been imagining how many babies you were going to give him, what colour flowers’d be in your bouquet at the wedding.

 It was embarrassing; being humiliated yet a-fucking-gain by a man well over twice your age, legs trembling on the soaked desk, the model on the front of his porno magazine beside you grinning up at you smugly, fucking bitch. 

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole Part 14: Before You Go

Previous Part

Series Masterlist

Chapter warnings: mentions of spiking, forced drug use.

A/n: hello my beautiful people, I hope you're all well. I tried something different in the beginning of this chapter and did it in Matty's pov, I don't know if I like it but I'm sticking with it anyway. This chapter gives a little background into how they were before. I hope you like it :) not long now until this series is over :( if you have any ideas of things you want to see between these characters, like blurbs then please feel free to send them into my inbox :)

She stands across the room from me, the beautiful dress she's wearing, flows gently past her glorious hips and ends at the apex of her thighs, I swear if she spun around too quickly you'd see her underwear. The black fabric dips down against the swell of her breasts, two cups of lace edging the fabric. The little "M" catches the light of the room and sparkles, making my heart beat harshly in my chest. I want nothing more than to run my fingers along either side of the fabric, brushing against her -

"Matty, you're staring" someone's voice breaks me out of my thoughts, the voice of Charli, I feel her hand on my back, the only thing tearing my eyes away from Lou. My hand drops from my mouth, I now realise I had been playing what my lips. Ever since our argument things had been better than ever, I didn't think I could be more in love but here I was staring at the woman I loved wanting nothing more than to walk over to her, fall to my knees and beg her to marry me.

The black haired woman rubs her hand down my back and she laughs, I know why she's laughing and I'm not offended. Her opinion mattered to me and as long as she was happy for me, I truly didn't mind her taking the piss out of me.

"You are so whipped mate" she says and I can't help but chuckle, eyes snapping back over to Lou. George's arm was wrapped around her shoulders as she told a story to Hann and Ross, my three best friends hanging onto her every word, something about her just demanded that of people. "I don't blame you, just look at her"

"yeah…" my voice trails off as I look at her. The woman that commands the attention of everyone in the room with little to (and) often no effort. I'm reminded that despite her being that person, she wanted me, and I feel my chest thump harshly again. I'm easily distracted by her and have to snap myself out of my trance to finish my sentence "look at her"

I turn back to Charli, who I now notice is smiling widely at me, her hand dropping from my back.

"I'm really happy for you Matthew… and for her. I know I haven't said this yet and I'm unsure the boys have either… but it needs to be said" she begins and I feel my stomach soar before it sinks, worried she was going to be the bearer of bad news… and god knows despite the image I attempt to portray, my fragile heart couldn't bare any bad news.

"thank you" she says simply and her words confuse me, which is obvious by the way I tilt my head to the side.

"For loving her… she needed you" both our eyes drift over to her and I can't help but smile widely again.

I know there is a truth to her words, but I know I needed her more. I felt myself slipping, becoming someone I wasn't, she saved me, brought me back to the person Ive always been, or the person I've always wanted to be.

"I needed her more" I say although it's quiet, I know if I looked at Charli again she'd be smiling.

I watch as Lou's eyes snap over to us, her face immediately lighting up and a huge smile coming to rest against her mouth, her mouth that is coated in red lipstick, I hoped it wouldn't come off, because nothing was going to stop me from kissing her.

"Charli!!" I hear her say, she doesn't shout yet everyone seems to fall silent, allowing her to speak. That didn't happen with me, I usually had to shout over people to make them hear me, but people just listened to her.

Her smile makes a smile tug at my mouth, one of equal earnestness to hers. I watch as she absentmindedly plays with the necklace around her neck, a simple act, yet it makes my stomach flutter and my heart throb. I almost feel my eyes soften as I look at her, everything that is her clouding my mind. Especially when I notice the faint M on her chest, the small patch the only bit of her skin not caught by the sun. She hardly took the necklace off and that small detail had me wanting to hold her and never let go.

Her hands let go of the necklace and I watch as it falls, hitting her chest and bouncing slightly, before it swings back and forth, slowly stilling. I hadn't realised Charli had started walking towards her and away from me until Lou was wrapped up in a pair of arms. My vision widens, away from just her and I see her smiling at me, her chin resting against Charli's shoulder.

"come here" she mouths and before I can even register my feet are taking me to her.

"Was wondering how long you'd be standing over there for" I hear Ross say, I see worry etched across his features and I smile, letting him know I'm fine.

"I'm all good mate, don't worry" I say with a gentle pat to his back, I turn, now seeing Charli greeting George with a, not so gentle kiss. But what can I say? Lou and I were no better.

Lou turns my way and I stand for another moment, just watching her, not making any movements towards her. She looked beautiful as always but something about the way she looked tonight was blowing me away.

"Are you just going to stare at me all day Healy?" I hear her say, making my eyes snap to hers. A cheeky and teasing smile strikes my eyes and I chuckle, shaking my head at her, at her teasing.

"I might, yeah" I say, making her chuckle and then she's stepping towards me, arms hooking over my shoulders, meeting each other against my neck, shutting me in, not that I would leave now. My eyes flutter shut with the intrusion of her (a welcomed one), her scent invades my senses and forces me to shut my eyes as I breathe her in, immediately overwhelmed by her. She smells like vanilla and coffee and white flowers and orange blossom and home. She smelt like home, an instant comfort, like stepping through the door after a long day, like curling under the covers or being wrapped up in a blanket.

"Hi" she smiles, her voice sweet and the first time I had heard it all day, instantly feeling happiness flood my body. I had been wrapped up in getting things ready for the show, the first one of this leg of the tour, wanting it to be amazing. Jamie eventually had to tell me to take a break, "go spend time with your girlfriend" he had said, his words making me blush. No matter what, the fact she was my girlfriend wouldn't fail to amaze me.

"Hi… missed you" my hands gently clamp around her waist, pulling her closer, needing her against me.

"Missed you too… had to spend time with boys, how annoying" she jokes and it makes me chuckle. I can sense that she wants to ask me how my day was, but I can also tell why she doesn't, because she knew relaying the details would make me more stressed and I appreciate that. It also made me feel… special, that she knew that about me. That she knew me that well.

"Couldn't think of anything worse, could you?' she's laughing now, leaning forward to place a kiss to my mouth, nearly knocking the air out of me, something that always happens when she kisses me. She's pulling away faster than she leant forward, her lips barely pressed against mine for a second, not that I minded. It was enough, for now.

"How was it? Had a good day?" I ask, wanting to hear about it.

"yeah was good, had a little walk around the venue, not too far… met some lovely fans, all of whom commented on your lack of presence. Messed about for a bit, played some songs with G… was really good" she explains and it makes me grin, truly happy she had a good day.

"Bet everyone will think we've broken up or something" I comment, making her roll her eyes and chuckle.

"Probably, just gotta prove them wrong huh Healy?" She asks and I nod, leaning forward to kiss her again, needing my desire for her to be quenched somewhat. So I press a firmer kiss fo her mouth, taking her bottom lip into mine, not caring if the color stained my own. I tug at it at little, letting it snap back before smoothing it with my tongue, before eventually pulling away. Noting the way her fingers gripped the fabric around my shoulders.

"Would've liked to hear you and G playing some songs, what did you play?" I ask, but I feel myself getting distracted by the look she's giving me. I take in her darkening eyes, and feel her hands drift along the lapels of my jacket, tugging me forward slightly.

"this and that" she comments, I can tell she's just speaking them without thinking, clearly distracted by something, by me.

"We're going for a smoke" I hear George say, Lou's body slightly turning in my hold to look at them, I go to slip my arms from around her waist but her grip tightens on my arm.

"Want to join them?" I ask but she just shakes her head. I hear the sound of a camera in front of us, both our attention being drawn to the sound, seeing Charli holding her phone.

"Sorry you guys are just so cute" she says before George is pulling her with him.

"Come with me" I hear her say, my head immediately snapping back to her. Her voice was floaty and I know what she needs by the way her eyes are drifting along the expanse of my form, not knowing what to settle on, wanting to view all of me at once. I know this because I'm doing the same to her, but my eyes are finally setting on the way her bottom lip is tugged between her teeth.

I feel the desire of her warm my stomach and feel the way my eyes darken as I look at her.

"Need me huh?" I ask, knowing her all too well, she nods simply before she's pulling me somewhere. God knows where she's taking me but we both know I'd follow her to the ends of the earth, blindly and willingly.

She tugs my hand, leading me round several corners, giggling as she does, the soft sounds spilling from her mouth the best I'd ever heard. She halts in a corridor round the back of the venue, our music equipment flush against either side of the walls, leaving a slim gap which she squeezes through, pulling me until I'm flush against her. Her back rests against an amp and my hands quickly clasp around her hips, pulling her slightly away from it so it doesn't dig into her skin. But that's quickly forgotten when she pushes her lips against mine, her tongue finding mine within seconds, making me groan against her.

"god I love you"

They're all backstage, a few of them messing around, some sitting by themselves and doing mundane things. Ross and John are playing ping pong in another room but their laughter can still be heard from where Matty, George and Lou are sitting. Matty smiles at Hann and Carly who are cosied up onto a sofa, reading from a baby name book, throwing out suggestions for the group. His eyes flick from the couple to Lou.

He sits on a large leather sofa, George is sat two seats away from him on the other side, Lou rests against the middle seat, well her bottom does anyway. Her legs are curved and her socked feet are resting in George's lap, her head on a pillow in Matty's. Matty's hand drifts through her hair as she sleeps, the strands are soft and silky under his touch and he smiles down at her as she softly snores, barely audible. One hand is awkwardly hooked behind her, lightly holding onto George's hand, his thumb smooths over her knuckles.

George watches his friend as he stares down at his girlfriend, he feels proud of the man he is today, despite his best efforts to defend Matty's behaviour before, he found himself not liking the person he was around Lou. But now George thinks he's redeemed himself, in fact he's done more than that, he's become a man who is worthy of her love and a man who loves her exactly the way she's deserves.

George doesn't voice his pride, instead he just watches him, looking head over heels for the woman sleeping in his lap. His mind flicks back to one night all those years ago, when George thought Matty might start to redeem himself, when he acted uncharacteristically kind towards Lou, not that she remembers.

"Do you think you'd ever tell her about that night in Manchester?" George asks, his voice quiet, worried about waking her. Matty's eyes don't falter from the girl, he doesn't have it think about what night George is referring to. He knows straight away. It had been years since anyone had mentioned that night. Even now it makes him feel sick. That was the day he swore he'd change, he swore he'd do anything to protect Lou and to show her that too. Of course the day after came and all those promises got pushed aside. But he wishes they didn't.

The club is crowded, packed full of sweaty bodies, most of whom were pressed against each other, dancing and drinking. The room was cloudy, filled with smoke and it smelt like stale cigarettes and she could smell just a hint of weed.

She already feels like she's drunk enough but the girls she's with keep ignoring her pleas to stop buying her drinks, making her feel bad and practically forcing her to drink them. She feels refuge when she hears her name being yelled over the loud music, eyes snapping to her lanky best friend who's walking towards her. She smiles widely, standing and leaving the toxic people behind, she doesn't fail to notice how they practically purr when they see George and his mates, her mates (well some of them were her mates).

She thinks it's pathetic how desperate they were but one look over at the boys she can understand why they were acted the way they were. George wraps a protective arm over her as she meets the group, all (apart form Matty) greet her, Ross wanting to hug her himself, but George makes that a bit hard.

"Look good Lou" Ross says and she smiles, she sees George's jaw clenching and she scoffs at him, telling him to "pack it in". She adorns a black silk dress with a low back, two criss-cross strings holding it together. Her eyes hover towards Matty who is staring at her.

"You alright Healy? Seem a bit... Hmm..." She thinks "Shocked" it's the first time she's spoken to him in weeks and he hates that it makes his heart race. Her efforts to not sound drunk seem to work quite well.

"You wish" he says before he's walking towards the girls she was with, all of whom coo at him as he sits down, arm wrapping round one of the blonde ones. Lou watches as he whispers in her ear and watches the way the tiny blonde giggles like a school girl. It makes her want to be sick.

"Remind me why you're friends with them again?" Ross asks as he looks at the girls, a disgusted look on his face, one that makes Lou chuckle. She was glad someone was on her side.

"I'm not... Rose is but she's abandoned me for some guy... Or girl I don't know" she says, searching the dancefloor to try and find her friend but ultimately failing to do so.

"George come here a second" they hear Matty shout and Lou looks up at him, visibly seeing how conflicted the guy looked.

"You can go" she says knowing he wanted to.

"Sorry Lou, but they're really fit" he says pressing a kiss to her cheek. Lou rolls her eyes before stepping to the side. Ross takes the opportunity to wrap her under his arm now.

"Couldnt be anymore of a guy" she says, making Hann laugh. She looks up at Ross who chuckles too. If she were to look back at the table, she would've seen Matty, staring at the pair with his jaw clenched and hand clamped around the edge of his chair.

"Let's go get you laid" Ross says, pulling her to the dancefloor. Hann, who doesn't want to dance, decides to join George and Matty, not that he really wanted to do that either.

Ross and Lou dance together for a bit before they each find someone else to dance with. Ross finds a petite brunette, she's pretty and she compliments Lou on how she looks and says she recognizes her from some bar she once performed at, explaining how awesome she thought her band was, so gets her approval. Lou finds a guy who is clearly very attractive but is also clearly a douche. He's jawline could cut and his piercing blue eyes could well.. pierce, his brown hair was loose on his head in curls (much similar to Matty's) he was tanned unlike Healy. There were things about him that screamed Matty but others which couldn't be further apart.

Eventually, after some steamy dancing, they find the bar, the guy buying Lou a drink and then they make their way to the rest of the group.

Matty's jaw clenches when he sees the way the guy clamps his hand around her thigh, but what really gets him is the way she visibly squirms and downs her drink, clearly needing a bit more liquid courage to even feel comfortable.

The group talk, well shout over the loud music, and eventually they all get up to dance. His eyes are trained on Lou, so he's the first to notice a shift in her behaviour. The way she becomes clumsy, far too clumsy for someone who had just had one more drink, he knows her, and he knows one more drink wouldn't tip her over the edge, something was wrong.

He finds himself walking over to the pair, the guy practically grinding onto her limp body. Matty grabs him by his collar, making everyone's eyes snap to them.

"What the fuck did you do you douche?" He asks, and although the guy is far from small, he visibly cowers.

"What's going on mate?" George says, clamping a hand over his friends shoulder, who doesn't budge.

"Look at your best friend right now" Matty says, eyes unwavering from the guy and George's eyes snap to Lou. He gently takes her chin in-between his pointer finger and thumb, lifting it up to look at her. Her pupils are blown wide and he can see she has no clue what's going on around her. George really wants to beat the shit out of the guy but he chooses to take Lou in his arms instead.

"You fucking coward... Knew she wouldn't fuck you if you didn't slip her something huh?" Matty says, his grip on the guys collar tightening.

The guy doesn't say anything and that angers him more and in the next blink of an eye, Matty's fist is clenching, before it's swinging to hit the guy square in the jaw. Matty's swipes are relentless, each of the guys staring in shock, having never seen their mate act so ferally. Matty feels his blood boiling and it's as if something, somebody else has taken over his body, unable to stop his movements, until he hears a gentle mumble from Lou.

Despite her state she still manages to get the words out and they make him freeze.

"Matty... Stop" is all she says and his eyes snap to hers, seeing them close after the two words are spoken. He swears it's the first time she's ever called him Matty, usually opting for Healy or Matthew, her words usually laced with venom, but her voice is soft now and he knows he wouldn't hurt the guy again, if that's what she wanted. Matty tears his eyes away from her, his clenched fist, hovering by the guys bruised face.

Ross pounces forward, grabbing his friend and pulling him back before he goes any further. It gives the other guy ampule opportunity to run away, which he does

"Yeah fucking run away you dickhead" Matty shouts, accent very thick.

"Matty" he hears George say, his voice laced with sheer terror and worry. Matty's eyes snap to the girl in George's arms, the girl who's eyes were now closed.

"I don't know what to do" George says and as if a switch is flicked.

"Should we take her to the hospital?" George asks and Matty shakes his head.

"It's Lou, you know she'd hate that come here" Matty takes over. Arms hooking under her knees as he lifts her, carrying her out of the club as if she weighs nothing, the guys following all of them into the back of Matty's van.

"Hann, I need you to get water, lots of it" he says as he lies her down on top of some blankets which are scattered in the back.

Hann disappears then.

"Ross, I need you to take George away for a bit okay?" He says as he sees George panicking. George's eyes snap to his and Matty gives him a reassuring nod, letting him know he had her.

"I've got this okay? You can trust me, I've got her" Matty says and George nods. Every past event completely contradicted this one, yet he knew she'd be safe with Matty.

Ross wants to stay but also knows George can't be there right now, so he quickly fights with himself, Matty nodding at him too, before Ross leads George away and upon Hanns return, Matty closes the door to the van.

It seems like they're waiting for hours outside the van. George and Ross come back at some point, seeing Hann sitting on the floor, practically gnawing at his lip. George paces back and forth whilst Ross stares at the back doors of the van, just waiting until they open. No one knows what miracle Matty performs behind the van doors and despite all of his behaviour before, each of them trusted him with their best friend.

Her eyes slowly flutter open, she's placed in his arms, his hands soothing down her face, her hair clung to her sweaty head.

"Hey Healy" she says, voice still floaty, as if she wasn't truly there with him.

"Hi pretty girl" he says, the first time he's been earnest with her. He knows it's because he can be right now, she wasn't going to remember this.

"I like this face" she admits, grabbing his cheeks and smushing them, making him laugh. Her happy expression disappears a second later and she frowns.

"I dont feel very well Matty" she groans. He frowns down at her, his thumb soothing across her cheek.

"I know darling... I've got you though, you're safe and you'll feel better soon" she smiles up at him, a dopey smile that lasts barely three seconds before she frowns again.

"You hate me... Why are you being nice?" Her words are fumbled and he has to really focus to unscramble them but he does. Her eyes flutter shut and he can tell she's fighting sleep. They open again and her eyes erratically flick around the van, unaware of her surroundings but then her eyes land on his again and he watches as they soften.

Her eyes flick to his hand and her hand shakily finds his, thumb soothing over the knuckles coated in blood, flinching when he flinches.

"Matty...." He wishes she'd say his name again and never stop saying it. He knows in that moment that her saying his name, is his favourite thing in the world.

"Go back to sleep yeah?" He says knowing she just needed to sleep it off now, she nods and her eyes are shutting again.

"Hmm, you smell nice" he smiles at that, heart fluttering.

"Before you go... I don't hate you sweetheart, could never hate you" he knows she doesn't hear his words but they needed to be said.

Matty slowly opens the back door, coming to stand with the other guys. He instantly pulls George into a hug.

"She's alright guys" he says loud enough for all of them to hear.

"I'm going to drive her home okay? I didn't drink anyway. G you wanna come with? Stay with her until tomorrow" Matty says, his questions followed by a demand and of course George nods.

"You two going to be alright getting home? " Matty asks and Hann and Ross nod. Ross pulls Matty into a hug and he thanks him, Hann does the same. George and Matty then get into the van and Matty starts driving home, eyes flicking between the road and the mirror, making sure she was still okay.

"Thanks mate... I was pathetic back there... Thanks for taking over and helping her" George says and Matty nods at him.

"Of course" they sit in silence for a bit before Matty speaks again.

"Hey look... Can you not tell her that I helped her? Just say you did it. Please" Matty says, pleading with his best friend. George looks at him, taking in every feature, every indicator that told him Matty desperately needed this. He couldn't understand why, he knew that if Lou knew Matty was the one that helped, she'd immediately forgive him for everything he had ever said or done... But George still nodded his head.

"Yeah, if that's what you need" George says, feeling sad.

"it is"

She wakes in her own bed, not knowing how she got there. George comes in and explains the events of the night, telling her he was the one that helped her, just as Matty asked.

"Thank you G, you're the best" she hugs him tightly and George frowns. He had just lied to his best friend.

"Don't think it would change anything" Matty says, finally looking at George.

"Think she'd realise just how much she did mean to you back then... Even if you did try to hide it" George says.

"Maybe... I dunno though G... It sounds weird, but... I kind of like, no not like, I..." He pauses to think. He didn't know how to explain what he was thinking.

"I remember it and she doesn't.... And it's not like I like that but... in that moment I got to have her in a way I always wanted... I got to be the one that helped her. And it feels weird to say but I liked it... I guess... Would've preferred it under different circumstances but still" Matty explains.

"But you don't want her to know that?" George asks.

"What if she hates me for it George? What if she resents me?" He asks, fully turning his body to face his friend, Lou slightly stirring in her sleep.

"Hate you for helping her?"

"Hate me for keeping a secret. For making you lie..."

"She's not like that... She wouldn't be like that. She'd be so thankful that you helped her"

"I dunno G"

"Trust me. I know you know her... But she's been my best friend since we were babies.... I KNOW, she wouldn't hate you for that" George says.

A little later on Matty sits her down, she rests against the edge of the bed, Matty stands in front of her and explains the true events of that night and to his surprise, she doesn't hate him for it, in fact, she laughs, which doesn't make much sense to him.

"You know I remember that right?" She says and she laughs when she's sees him visibly nearly have a heart attack "well I thought it was G, guess when he told me it was him, my mind thought it filled in the gaps" she says and his eyes are begging for her to explain.

"I like this face" she says and he remembers it instantly "it makes sense now... I wouldn't have said that to G... I love him but I wouldn't have told him that, he already knows" she says, laughing to herself and he smiles.

"So you remember what happened but didn't remember it was me" he says and she nods.

"And now you know it was me?" He asks.

"Well it makes a lot more sense for one... And it makes me love you even more" she says, pulling him towards her and hugging him tightly.

"I love you" she mumbles against his stomach.

"I love you too pretty girl" he says, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head.

"You know if you had told me that at the time I would've forgiven you... I would've forgiven you for everything" she says, pulling away to look up at him.

"I thought you hated me too much back then... Thought the fact I was the one that helped you would've... I dunno annoyed you?" He says and she shakes her head at him.

"Youre a silly man healy... But god I love you" she says.

"You know I thought I might lose you that night... Was so terrified of losing you and I didn't even have you the way I wanted... But I knew in that moment I'd do anything not lose you and I thought if I told you, I'd do exactly that" he admits and her face softens, glassy eyes finding his as she grasps his face.

"You'll never lose me Matty, I promise" she says and leans forward to kiss her.

"Promise." He confirms.

"I'm going to marry you one day" she says and it surprises him. He eagerly presses his lips to hers, smiling against her mouth as she giggles.

"I like the sound of that" he says as he maneuvers them up the bed, pinning her to the mattress as their lips bruise against one another.

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[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep1 Musings - Looking for Home: Louis, Claudia & Daciana

They flip between siblings and parent so much even I was getting whiplash--no wonder Lou's confused. U_U

This was EEEEEEEEVIIIIIIL, AMC! 😭 Louis carrying Grace's wedding portrait, and using it to FAKE his identity in Europe, after Grace couldn't even go to Europe for her own honeymoon cuz Paul died--STOP IT! 😭😭

And you can hear just a few quick seconds of the DPDL lietmotif that always plays for Grace, Paul, and sibling!Claudia, before it takes this SUPER dark and ominous tone--the song has been tainted, just like Lou's relationship with Grace and Claudia was tainted.

Go AWF, Claudia!

And then she finds ONE, and it was so heartbreakingly touching.

I was hoping she was Alessandra, but nope, she's an AMC!OC, Daciana. I'm assuming they were nodding to one rando revenant:

And she is obviously the same "Anna" the kids were singing about--(very Gaunter O'Dimm of them, I love it 💀)--living like frikkin Baba Yaga in a grimy castle in the woods.

Daciana killed her own fledgling after Claudia blinded him--after the revanant AND Daciana attacked them first, but whatever. Cuz she said he wouldn't be able to hunt/feed with no eyes--so it can't heal; her fledglings are too effed up. She's officially the last one in the area.

And I get it now--the bear(?) head Claudia breaks off of the dead vampire's sarcophagus was a heraldric figurehead. Claudia showed it to Daciana, as a way of asking her who that dead vamp was.

She didn't want to tell them her story or hear theirs--but she wanted them to know about Cezare Romulo (RIP). (It's crazy how in 5 minutes The Vampire Daciana was way more effective than a whole hour of Dierdre Mayfair. 🙄😒) She complimented Claudia's blood, saying it tasted like the cream of the crop. Daciana only told them her name, and that she was waiting for her children--fledglings or real ones, who knows (I bet both).

Only for Daciana to kill herself right in front of them (RIP). 😔🔥

This is so sad, but it was obvious she was gonna do that.

Stop teasing the Children of Darkness after this Alessandra fake-out. She's got the same darkness in her that Nicki (AND Louis) had. And we know where that means. 🔥💀🔥

These vampires are STARVING--hungry for family, love, home: LIFE.

So is Claudia! 😭😭😭 She wants a blood spouse! She wants a companion!

So I LOVE that Morgan clocked Louis on Grace's photo--that ain't yo wife! The gaydar was beeping the second your pretty arse walked in!

Like, it's been established that Louis is a terrible liar-you don't need an investigative journalist to figure that much out. Louis is TOO honest--he was dumb AF for telling Morgan his real name! I get why he did it in the book--again: desperate to make a connection.

But on the show it comes across way different--Louis almost immediately tells Morgan his name (he doesn't do that for Emilia, even though SHE called him pretty! Istg I was picking up some flirtatiousness with Lou & Morgan; put those pheromones AWAY 😂). But you come across MIGHTY SUS if your Black arse is going around switching identities on all these twitchy Europeans, Louis!

Like baaaaaasicallllllyyyyyyy!!! 🤦 You see them shooting up corpses just to make sure--you think they won't shoot YOU!?!

Anyways, it's so cool that they made Morgan a photographer--so is THIS why Louis starts taking photos!? 🤩📸

Cuz I've been wondering how Louis makes money in Paris so they don't have to pickpocket anymore?

I love that they included this.

No matter where they go, they have to pose as Black servants and maids and VALETS and SLAVES, white folk are the same regardless of the country.

Which was an interesting parallel with Daciana, and how much they were hyping up America.

She was clearly nuts, but smart & sane enough to realize that 2 (two!) Black vampires had fled their oh-so-great "land of the free" to come to HER busted AF blown up war-torn country, so why should she expect to have any happiness over there?

I don't know a lick of Romanian, but I wonder if the "another one" she was referring to was the soldier, or the country. As Daciana realized that no matter who she made her new fledgling, and no matter which country she ran to, she'd be alone & unhappy without the people she loved--her HOME.

Home is where the HEART is! Claudia's been homeless this whole time! Daciana's got that huge castle, but lives all alone--she can't make proper fledglings. Meanwhile Louis still thinks NOLA is home, even after they killed everyone who knew them--"including" Lestat!

*sigh* I hate this effing show, it's so dang good. 😭

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

Season 2 episode 1 [What Can The Damned Really Say to the Damned] - part 4/4

- And now... Mood shift, setting change, back to Dubai, 2022, and the 77 year-long lie. And lord oh lord, we jump right into it with the shot of the bedroom being a cell and Armand selling Louis' art without even telling him the works are up for sale. Greaaaat. This is gonna be fun.

[Louis] "'Could I see the pages we removed? Of Claudia's diaries?'

[Armand] 'We made an agreement.'

[Louis] 'I don't know what else is blurred or misremembered.'

[Armand] 'My name is in some of those pages.'

[Louis] 'I sit across from him and reckon with the knowledge I don't know what other misrememberings made into it. I won't share them with him but I need to read them again.'"

Brb, need to SCREAM. Oh, the control Armand us exercising over Louis... The way he micromanages every aspect of his life. The way Louis has to bargain for everything he wants, and the way he thanks (thanks!!!) Armand for every breadcrumb thrown his way. The way Armand cares more about his image, his reputation, his grip on Louis, than Louis' well-being and peace of soul and mind. And the way the scene is shot and designed, the bars behind the bed and the skyscraper settling, the lack of any colors and any homey furniture, the huge bed with an ocean separating them, contrasting with the comfy house and room of 1132 rue Royale, and how Lestat and Louis used to sleep entwined in each other's embrace... I will go mad.

- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THE ENTRANCE HAND IN HAND, ARE THEY SERIOUS. Oh, this is too hilarious. And how they drop the hands as soon as they're seated, yeah, real convincing, fellas.

- Oh, Devil's Minion's crumb! Armand responding to Daniel by mimicking his "Yeah" and those big eyes looking so amused and fond at that old man. Couldn't care less about the Loumand, I'm here for the Devil's Minion. What a performance, Louis rubbing Armand's shoulder, lmao.

- Daniel shutting down Armand immediately is hilarious. "Sure, sire, you're on the record, but you still haven't made an appearance in the story so for now stfu and wait for your turn". No wonder Armand goes crazy about Daniel, that guy doesn't know how to be afraid. And second shoulder pat, Lou, hon... You're enjoying this, aren't you. You are enjoying the way Daniel puts Armand back in his place, something you haven't managed to do in years, despite what you both like to pretend.

- Oh, I love that piece of music! That one is "The Whole World Was Ready to Return" and it is gorgeous. It's played here, as Claudia and Louis go to Paris, and at the end, when Louis issues his threat/warning to the vampires in Dubai. Very thematic. The music in s2 is different from the music in s1, by the way. S1 soundtrack had very folk/blues undertones, New Orleans style, while s2 is much more orchestral/symphonic, Paris style. The music adapts itself to the setting, and I adore that. It gives so much more texture to the story.

- [Louis] "The war had turned off the lights, stripped its streets of their beauty, sent its avant-garde into exile. But now, the whole world was ready to return, to remake their lives. Pilgrims, on their hopeful way."

Nah, the avant-garde, at least artistic, was there, just, waaay underground or dangerously flirting with censorship and hidden meanings. In Paris itself during the war, there were several plays written and played against fascism while the Gestapo was patrolling the streets. Notably, though conflictingly, Jean Anouilh's famous "Antigone", in 1944, Josephine Baker singing and spying , as well as Sacha Guitry, who was arrested after the Liberation and accused of collaboration without any evidence, but who managed to save a lot of Jewish artists and personalities by playing double agent, or good ol' Sartre (who hilariously makes a cameo later on in the show) who writes a lot of stuff between '40 and' 44. Anyway. There's more but I ain't have time right now to do serious research. Back to Louis.

- [Louis] "'I wanna say something to you. I don't need to hear anything back I just need you to hear me. Hard words and soft words. The hard. Our life is shit. It's been shit. It is shit. It's gonna be shit again. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. No one's watching, no one cares. A shit life beats no life. But where we're going now we can't be running away again. Doesn't mean we forget what we saw. What she did in front of us. I see you going that way I'm gonna pull you back. I don't need that from you. As long as you walk the Earth, I'll never taste the fire, you understand me? We're going to find others like us. Aind if it ain't here, cos life is shit, or I fuck it up again, or you fuck it up, we'll go to the next place. We can't be the only good ones out there. Soft words. If you were the last vampire on Earth... it would be enough. It's you and me. Me and you. You and me. Me and you. You and me.'"

And my hallucination of your dead father.

Anyway that's his child, that's her parent.

Gotta give it to Louis tho, he doesn't lie. Embellishes, obfuscates, but lying, no. As long as Claudia's alive, he's not gonna try the sun. But if she dies... All bets are off.

Also Louis is right and hey, actually needed to hear that right now, thanks bae. Now someone needs to tell him back his own words, I think he needs to hear it back.

Episode insider:

Jacob talking about the heart full of sugar and how he spent the rest of the night on a sugar high is so adorable and hilarious when the part that comes next is Dreamstat. Also hey, "Dreamstat" was coined by Jacob himself, nice!

[Jacob] "Anne Rice's vampires are so human. This is kind of a departure from these sort of beautified, glamorous vampires. It's just really fun." - yeah, I like the glam vamp, but the monstrous vampire, a bit like Mike Flanagan does in Midnight Mass, is also a thrill.

Love Delainey saying she loved doing her stunts and all the physical stuff!

[Assad] "Armand wants to protect himself, but also wants to protect his relationship with Louis, what they have. He feels he has no choice except to come in, sharing the narrative with Louis." - yep. Protecting himself. Protecting what he has with Louis, even at the expanse of Louis' own will. Because what does Armand fear above all else? To be unloved. Not necessarily alone, like most vampires, but to be considered unlovable and unworthy of people's care. So if he can't be sure that people's feelings for him are genuine, he will orchestrate and manipulate them to tie them to himself. That's Armand's schtick.

season 1 masterpost

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

episode 2 | episode 3 | episode 4 | episode 5 | episode 6 | episode 7 | episode 8

[emsgwenstan]

Personal or professional?

Larissa Weems x fem(carpenter/joiner) named reader

Chap 5| chap 6| chap 7

Words: 3k

Warnings: insecurity’s, swearing.

Note: another fill in chapter… this gif☝️is the look she gives Violet about the door lol.

Well it’s official, It’s the 12th of December and my dreaded birthday, another year of being alive, I guess I should be grateful but only 2 hours until I can go home and sleep! Jesus I really am getting old. I do wish I could see Larissa today but I don’t want to disturb her, we have been texting since that day which was three days ago now, I drove her home that night and the next morning she sent me a message saying good morning and I thought that was really sweet, but this morning she hadn’t said anything, I don’t need to read into it though, I just hope I haven’t done anything wrong. My phone started to ring in my pocket and just when I thought it was her I was wrong.

*Louise*

“Happy birthday vi!” She yelled.

“Thanks Lou.” I said chuckling.

“Happy birthday vi.” I heard jades sultry voice say on the other line.

“Oh yeah jays here too.” Louise said.

“Wanna wish auntie vi happy birthday?” She added.

“Happy birthday auntie violet!” Lou’s daughter lily shouted.

“Aww thanks guys, how is everyone?” I asked.

“Yeah we’re all pretty good, how are you though? You’ve been pretty quiet… perhaps finally found someone?” Louise said teasingly.

My face burned, how am I supposed to say yes I’ve met and fallen in love with someone, we’ve had sex and yet we’re still in a what do they call it now? situationship? Friends with benefits? Let alone it being with a woman- not that they’d be very surprised.

“I have been getting out more and no I’m not with anyone.” I said.

“Let’s hope you find someone vi we don’t want you to be alone forever.” Jade said in a sing song voice.

“Shut the fuck up, says you your a hoe, a serial seducer.” I laughed.

“Ok lily go to your room for a minute.” Lou said.

“Oh my god sorry!” I said.

“Aunt of the year award goes to Violet.” Jade said mockingly.

“Agh, anyway guess what?” I asked.

“What?.” “Mhm?” From the both of them.

“I’ll see you guys at dads this year.” I said.

“What! You’re actually gonna show up!?” Louise said.

“Yeah but I’m not gonna be alone, I’m bringing my… friend Larissa.” I said awkwardly.

“Ooooo Larissa.” They said in unison. I could just imagine them looking at each other knowingly.

“Please… anyway I’ll be there for a week then I’m going to see my mum.” I stated.

“We haven’t seen you for ages, oh and by the way dad has been such a dick lately, all he talks about is fucking golf.” Jade said.

“When isn’t he a dick, and that doesn’t surprise me, I’m not going for him though I’m coming to see you guys.” I spoke.

“Yeah well we will be there for like 9 days I think, we really need to go out all together again, I know I need to get hammered.” Louise said laughing.

“Agreed I know just the place.” I said.

“We know.” They both said giggling.

“Ok well I’m at work so I need to go but I’ll see you guys then ok?” I said.

“Alright we love you sis.” Lou said.

“Love you guys, tell lily and Lottie i love them to.” I said.

“Will do, bye.” She said.

“Bye.”

I went back to stacking lengths of timber in their designated racks and began to wrap up the rest of my stuff getting ready to come home.

Finally in the threshold of my house, I kicked off my boots and tore off my work clothes, it was so fucking hot I felt like I was suffocating. The heat was up so high last night because it was freezing and I forgot to turn it off this morning as well as having the fire going. Turning it off and keeping the fire going I went and jumped in the shower quickly to rinse off the sawdust and settle in for the night.

Hopping into bed I let my hair out of the tight ponytail it’s been in all day letting it fall over my pillow and just like that I passed out. It was only 6pm but I didn’t care it was much needed, although it wasn’t until a while later when I could feel my body slightly shaking that I awoke again. “Wake up darling.” A hushed voice spoke, I know that accent anywhere, why is she here? how is she here? I rolled over slightly with my eyes cracked open, Larissa was standing beside me with a hand delicately wrapped around my bicep.

“Good morning.” She teased. “What are you doing here? How did you get in here?” I asked sleepily. Larissa brought her hand to my face stroking my cheek lightly. “I did knock, but no answer. The door was unlocked, I should have rung you I’m sorry.” She said in haste. “No, no it’s fine you’re welcome you don’t even need to knock.” I said rubbing my eyes. Larissa smiled warmly. “Sit up for a moment I’ll be right back.” She said leaving the room. I’m still a little bit delirious wondering if this is even real or not, but the fact that I could feel her gave me every indication that it was. Slowly I sat up and realised I’m only wearing underwear, I clutched my duvet to my chest and sat cross legged against my head board.

Larissa waltzed back in with a large box in her hands, the sound of her heels clacking on the floor boards getting closer gave me more anticipation wondering what was going on. She perched herself on the edge of my bed and placed the huge box in my lap, it was a deep red with a crimson, satin bow on top. I looked at her with curiosity and a small smile. “Open it.” She said gesturing me to do so. Slowly I undid the ribbon and opened the box, I could smell it first, the large bouquet of red and dark red- almost black roses that lay on top. “Oh Larissa, these are beautiful.” I said plucking them out and smelling how heavenly they are. “How did you know these were my favourite… not just the flowers but the colours.” I asked jokingly. “I have my ways.” She said. I giggled at her and lay the roses next to me and continued to open the layers of tissue paper.

The next thing was clothing of some sort, pulling it up I gasped. “It’s beautiful.” I said astonished, the black dress was gorgeous, intricate black beads lined the off the shoulder cut out and strapped top, the thigh slit down the side and the cuffs of the sleeves. “Why did you get me this?” I asked incredulously. “Because you deserve it.” She said blatantly. “I’m afraid I don’t think it will fit.” I said solemnly. “It will, I promise.” She ensured moving the tissue further out of the way to indicate there’s more. Carefully I laid aside the dress as well and took out the next thing. A large black coat with fur around the hood, sleeves and bottom. My eyes lit up and I became speechless. Trying to catch a sneaky look at the tag, I didn’t find a price or size instead the words ‘Vivienne Westwood’ in scribed on it. “What the fuck.” I breathed, I looked at the dresses tag and the same thing was embedded.

“There’s more.” She said suggestively. I looked at her with wide eyes and put aside the coat. Underneath was a shoe box and another thing wrapped with tissue paper, I opened that first unraveling the fragile paper. My cheeks burned, when I came to relise it was lingerie, a set of scarlet red lace, a bra with matching panties. I admired them, running my fingertips along the intricacies of the material, I gave a shy and quiet thank you to Larissa and set them aside too. The last thing was the shoe box that made my breathing stop. ‘Cristian louboutin’ no fucking way.

Larissa could see my face at the sight of it, how much I was in shock and awe even without seeing what’s in it. I took off the lid and just about had a heart attack, slick black heels lay next to another adorning the familiar red bottoms. I turned to Larissa with a gaping mouth and wide eyes. “How- why…I. Larissa I’ve wanted these shoes since I was 17!” I screeched. She grinned and put her hand on my wrist. “Happy birthday darling.” She whispered sweetly. Again I melted. “Oh rissa, I don’t know if I can accept these.” I said softly. “Yes you can, I wanted to give you something to make you feel beautiful, and I know that black makes people feel slimmer- not that you need to of course! I just…-god, I thought I could help you feel better about yourself and show you how beautiful you are my sweet.” She said feeling horrible at how that sounded. “No I understand, it’s very thoughtful of you. Most of my clothes are black.” I said smiling.

“And I think red looks gorgeous on you too.” She said. I immediately remembered that I wore a red bra that day and that’s what she was pertaining to. Larissa was very close it was harder to not be under her piercing gaze, I put the box next to me and wrapped my arms around her neck, slowly I leaned in and hoped she wouldn’t pull away, I placed a chaste kiss to her lips grinning into it. “Thank you lovely.” I said into her ear still hugging her. “You’re very welcome.” She said pulling back. “Now I hope it’s ok with you but I made reservations for 8:00, so go get changed into these and we can go get dinner?” She said questionably. “You didn’t!” I said. She stood from the bed and reached for my hands to help me up, I stood and covered my stomach feeling a little self conscious again.

Larissa grasped my wrists, moved them away and looked in my eyes. “Don’t hide from me darling.” She said placing another kiss on my forehead. She turned on the spot and left me to get changed. In the bathroom I painted on some make up opting for dark eyeshadow and lipstick a few shades darker than Larissa’s, I curled my collarbone length blonde hair and put on my gold necklace with a ‘v’ initial and a few rings from the dish on the sink. I slipped on the red lingerie with a smirk and then the dress, for a moment my heart sank when the sip at the back wouldn’t go up, but turns out it was just caught on the material, it slid up my back with ease. I slipped on the shoes and couldn’t stop the excitement that spread through my body as I did so.

Looking in the mirror, I stared at myself, I hadn’t even realised I had a waist, the shoes are what I kept looking at and my calf muscles that sculpted due to the height. Larissa carefully opened my bedroom door and walked up behind me, I looked at her in the reflection giving a timid glance, she pressed herself to my back and gently put her head on my shoulder and moved her hands to meet around my front, her palms smoothed out the fabric and stopped at the swell of my stomach. “You look stunning.” She said kissing my temple. “Thank you.” I said. “Shall we go?” She asked. “Yeah.” I grabbed the coat and put it on.

Going past the kitchen and hallway I grab my keys from the dish. “What are you doing?” She asked. I dangled the keys giving her the hint I’m driving. “No, I’m driving.” She said plucking them out of my hand and putting them back down. Larissa walked out the door and I followed behind her, she stepped to the passenger side and opened the door for me, I giggled at her chivalry. She walked to the other side and sat in the drivers seat. “Ooo the woman knows how to drive stick.” I said as a joke. “Yes I do, something else we have in common.” She said turning on the car and reversing out of the drive way.

Once she went thought the gears, Larissa placed her hand on top of mine and curled her fingers into my palm, the butterflies in my stomach were alive and well at this point, not that they ever go away when I’m with her. When she down geard and sadly removed her hand from mine it must have meant we’re close, but when I saw the place my eyes just about bulged out of my head. Larissa killed the engine and stepped out, just as I open the door she glared at me through the windscreen, I laughed throwing my head back and closed the door again. She made it to the other side and reopened the door extending a hand to me.

I stepped out onto a gravel driveway and kept a hold of her hand. She closed the door and started to lead me in the direction of the restaurant. “Wait.” I said stopping. Holding her hand I took off my shoes and started walking again until we made it to cement and put them back on. I looked at her confused face. “I want to savour and look after these shoes.” I said. “Oh.” She chuckled, we made our way up the grand steps to the front door. This place was about ten minutes out of town and secluded by trees, the building was a tan colour and had pillars surrounding it, pot plans and ivy covered the exterior, a red carpet rolled down the stairs and the large double doors open wide with a ‘please wait to be seated’ sign on the wall outside of them.

Larissa glanced at me as a young woman greeted us. “Hello ladies, booking name?” She asked. “Weems.” Larissa said. “Yes, right this way.” She lead us into a massive dining hall, intimate tables with candles and silver alike, chandeliers vaulted from the ceiling, paintings, even live music with people playing violins and other sweet sounding instruments, a dance floor- for those who actually dance, it was beautiful and it felt right to be here experiencing this with Larissa, if I came here without her, she would be the one I’d tell this place about. “Here you go.” She sat us in a green velvet booth and placed two menus on the table then left.

“I didn’t even know this place existed.” I said. “Do you like it?” She asked shrugging off her cream coat, Larissa was wearing a plum coloured silk blouse and a matching cream pencil skirt, my breath hitched at the sight of her, somehow she seemed nervous, the woman who exudes power, authority and confidence is nervous, but then again I know its not the first time around me, but as if I do that to her, its probably just because she wants me to have a good night. “Absolutely, I really don’t deserve this-.” “Yes you do.” She said cutting me off. I took a deep breath and changed the subject. “Any idea what you feel like?” I asked. We both went through the menu together, decided on our choices and ordered.

Larissa and I were having a conversation about what we both did today when we were interrupted by a man who seemed to know her. “Larissa, I thought that was you.” He said. She looked up and let out a sharp exhale through her nose forcing a tight lipped smile. “Mr jones, lovely to see you.” She said speaking though here teeth. “Likewise, I don’t see you out of that school often.” He said. Larissa bit the insides of her cheeks quite literally refraining herself from spitting a very unkind insult his way. “Yes well Marcus, I do have a life.” She said bitterly, if looks could kill. His line of sight went to me. “And who is this?” He asked. If it were anyone else, She would have felt compelled to say ‘oh forgive me how rude I didn’t introduce you sooner’ instead she kept her back handed behaviour. “This is violet Hastings, my very good friend… now if you don’t mind we would like to enjoy our dinner.” Her voice sounding like venom. “Nice to meet you, I suppose I should get back to my wife.” He said awkwardly leaving.

The silence was killing me. “Ok what was that?” I asked chucking. Larissa let out a huff and turned to face me. “That was Marcus jones, a sleazy twit… also a board member.” She explained whilst simultaneously taking a sip of the wine the waitress brought over. “He did seem a bit smug.” I said sidding with her. “He’s an imbecile, all he does is make my job harder and tries to deny my advances for the schools funding and changes.” She said twisting the stem of the glass on the table. “Not to mention, every Thursday night he goes and screws his assistant, how cliche.” She rasped, throwing back the remaining wine in her glass. I raise my eyebrows in response. “I was a bit harsh wasn’t I?” She asked grasping my thigh under the table. “No, because if it were me id have been worse, you did a great job.” I said. Larissa laughed. A real laugh. It was loud and turned a few heads, but I didn’t care id love to hear it again and again and again. She covered her mouth with her fingers trying not to do it again. She never fails to make me weak.

The dim lighting made her look even more delectable then she already is and I found myself staring at her. “What?” She asked noticing. “Your just…ethereal? I don’t even know how you real.” I said lowly. “Stop it.” She giggled looking down. “I don’t think you know how pretty you are Larissa.” I spoke. “I could say the same about you vi.” She said tightening her grip on my thigh. The waitress brought over our food and left us to eat alone again. Once we were finished a flurry of people went to the dance floor with each of their partners. “Would you like to dance violet?” She leaned in to whisper. “Oh I don’t dance.” I said. “Please?” She pushed. Looking in her eyes I tilted my head, I can’t say no to her. “Sure.” I said reluctantly. Larissa took my hand and guided me to the floor.

On perfect queue the music started, the tune was familiar, experience I think it was. Everyone began to slowly sway to the music as if their bodies were one, Larissa held onto my waist and brought my hand to her shoulder, I placed my free hand in hers and began to dance. She was wonderful, so free and loose, Larissa let herself succumb to the music and I did the same, the stronger the tune the more contrived the movements, Larissa spun me about like they do in those ridiculous romcoms but Christ it felt like I was in one, her gaze never faulted, eyes piercing into my own as if the whole world disappeared. When the music went softer Larissa braced her arms around my torso and I joined my other hand to her vacant shoulder and let my head rest in the crook of her neck.

"May I cut in?" A voice said behind my shoulder, as I turned there standing was that same halfwit Marcus, asking me to dance. I looked to Larissa for help, she said nothing only looking down at her feet. "Um...I-." I began about to reject his offer. "Great!" He took my hand and I was dragged of with him, as a new song started I couldn't stop staring at Larissa, she stepped away sitting back at the table hardly watching what was going on, like the big ball of anger I am sometimes, I felt obliged to peruse my next move, as he was twisting me around like a monkey on steroids, I leaned back and stopped on his foot with my heel and elbowed him in the face. "Oh! my apologies I'm a horrible dancer.” I said with faux forgiveness. Immediately I ran back to Larissa.

"Why didn't you save me." I said sternly and out of breath. "You looked happy with him." She said fiddling with her fingers. "I beg your pardon? I’m sorry but if that's what I look like when I'm happy with someone then I must look insane when I'm with you." I expressed sitting down again. "Did you not just see what happened." I asked. "Yes, I must say it was a little entertaining." She said giving me a meek smile. "good. But why didn’t you do anything?” I asked. “I don’t know… I’m sorry I just thought-.” “It’s fine, I mean he had that coming.” I said. We sat together for a while and before I excused myself and went off to find the lavatory leaving Larissa at the table alone again.

*Larissa’s pov*

I’m so glad violet likes the gifts I gave her, she looks breathtaking, I feel deeply saddened that she doesn’t see herself through my eyes, but I do suppose no one sees their own beauty like others. I hope I didn’t take it to far when i gave her the lingerie, i just couldn’t help myself. Violet is an incredible woman, shes smart and witty, she’s kind and full of skills i could only dream to obtain, she makes me feel like I’m the only person in the room as if i were so interesting, a 48 year old who lives and breathes to work and is unbelievably stubborn, something else we have in common i think. I adore all the things about her she views as flaws but somethings telling me that there’s still more to her, but in time i hope to learn them all.

I feel so guilty I did nothing to stop that asshole from taking Violet away from me, I thought we had a special moment, I guess my own insecurities came to play, the last time I danced with somebody I was with mortica and that didn’t end well, why would it with her?

I observed her as she came back to the table, her legs are stunning and she can definitely walk in heels, i do find that people our height can do a good job in them if i do say so myself, I’m pleased that she insists on taking care of them, even if she didn’t id just buy her a new pair. Before she sat i offered to take her home, we had been here well over two hours and thought she would appreciate actually going home. “Sure.” She said. I stood and draped my own coat over my shoulders and placed my hand in the small of violets back to go and pay. As already anticipated she tried to debate on who was paying but in the midst of it i handed the poor waitress my card, the glare i received when violet heard the beep on the machine was endearing, she did look as though she could physically hurt me but i kept my laughter at bay.

Exiting the restaurant, violet stopped and moved her head to gaze at the stars above, it was very beautiful, no light pollution, no noise, just the stars, moon, violet and I, although i found my view much better than hers. The reflection in her eyes and the soft glow of the out side lights from the restaurant made her impossibly more beautiful, that doesn’t even sound like the right word, but it will do.

*violets pov*

The sky was extraordinary I haven’t seen it like this for a while, but my gaze was cut short when Larissa ushered me to the car and opened my door again. On the ride home I placed my hand in her lap playing with the material of her skirt, I was so relaxed that I eventually fell asleep, the soft hum of the radio and the smell of her perfume lulled me to dose off. Larissa opened my door and gently coaxed me awake and let me rest against her side as she walked us inside.

By the time we made it to my room I had woken up a bit more and turned to Larissa. “Are you ok?” I asked. “I’m fine.” She said. I took off my heels and placed them inside my robe out of the way, I saw her looking down at the floor as she sat on the edge of my bed. Trying to find a way to lighten the mood I reached for my small speaker and turned it on, flicking through my phone I found a song to play, set down my phone and pulled her to stand. Larissa looked at me confused wondering what’s going on, I placed her hands around my neck and I locked mine around her waist and pressed my body to hers.

I hummed along to the tune and swayed to the slow rhythm, Larissa rested her temple on my forehead and sighed. “I don’t dance for just anyone you know.” I whispered in her ear, I could see the small smile across her face. “Violet?… why are you doing this?” She asked still wrapped around me. “Because you deserve to know that you’re cared for to, because you’re special and you would do the same for me.” I said. Larissa was quiet after that, but she did grip me a little tighter and breathe a little deeper.

After the song stopped I paused it and started to get changed. Larissa offered to drag down my zip, I stepped out of my dress and picked it up hanging it neatly inside the wardrobe. Just as I was about to enter the ensuite to change Larissa’s voice rang through the air. “Wait!” She said. I turned on the spot and looked at her flickering eyes and ridged stance, I was silent waiting for her to continue. “I-I… was wondering if you could just… stay- in what you have on.” She mumbled. My eyes widened at her ask, my stomach riddled with butterflies.

Larissa’s gaze met mine and slowly she stepped out of her heels, removed her coat and pulled off her blouse and skirt, only left standing in her underwear. My gaze never left her, not once, I don’t recall I actually blinked to be frank. “Is it ok if I stay?” She asked. I paced back towards her and discarded the clothes I’m not going to be changing into on the floor, I took ahold of Larissa’s hand and threw back the covers of my bed and crawled in before her. I found a comfortable position on my side and laid out my right arm for her to rest her head on, to which she did.

There were no sounds, no interruptions, no one else but us- half naked and left in only undergarments, Larissa’s long limbs were intertwined with my own and the way she studied my face made blood rush to my cheeks, I did the same though- studied her that is, stroking her hair and tracing unknown shapes along her jaw and lips, especially over her scar. “What are you thinking?” I whispered, Larissa’s eyes fluttered to mine. “It’s silly.” She hummed softly. “Tell me? I’m sure it’s not.” I said back. “I’ve not been this… close to a normie before.” She expressed. I adjusted my head a little. “And what does that mean to you, is that a good thing or a bad thing?… are you saying that your view on me would change if I were?” I said sitting up a little. “No of course not i just mean, I haven’t been exposed to any normie that has been… well, like you.” She said sheepishly.

I sat mulling over the conversation, on one hand it’s disheartening to hear that she hasn’t been accepted due to the fact of being an outcast, and on the other I suppose she still hasn’t… “I know that was rather odd of me to bring up but it was just something that I had been thinking about, it’s nice to see that normies and outcasts can be civil.” She murmured. I felt a tinge of guilt gnaw in my stomach, just wait for the right time Violet. “No I get it, really, especially since you dedicate your life to ensuring your students feel accepted for who they are.” I said laying back down.

For a while it was quiet and peaceful, Larissa was the one who fell asleep first, but as I rolled over she slightly roused earning an almost incomprehensible statement. “Happy birthday Violet, my sweet sweet girl.” She left her head against the back of my shoulder and pulled me by the waist to rest against her front. “I love you Larissa.” I breathed but with no response I knew she had fallen asleep.

@lex13cm @im-a-carnivorous-plant @barbarasstar

@giogwensversion @sabraaabra

@readingtheentrails @readingtheentrails

[lover-of-mine]

Hi! So much has happened. Picking through different details to make sure this message is not repetitive because I know you have many many spies by now.

Firstly: the fake article. I cannot find who originally posted it. Only a screenshot from a BT mad about it. But apparently a Buddie made a fake post about a fake article about Lou quitting acting. They are very upset about it. It is ‘harassment’ apparently. People are offended that it cites mental health scare as the reason Lou would allegedly quit acting. As if BTs were not saying that Eddie should kill himself to mirror Ryan’s history of suicidality? Throwing stones from glass houses.

Here is the fake article screenshot. https://x.com/xfirepilot/status/1822790104525500839?s=46&t=i5gFcB_0q-6E5MZXiGtU_w

Secondly: Mark decided to lie about having ‘sources’ saying Lou is back on set this week. If he is not spotted… prepare for a full meltdown. They are CONVINCED this is the week. Especially because of the hangar. The longer they go without a sighting the more they lose it. They keep saying ‘quiet’ in hopes that it will make things happen (ie make Lou show up) which is kind of lame tbh. Taking all the fun out of the q word bit.

Thirdly: Happy birthday Peter! 9-1-1’s Instagram account posted a video of JLH + Oliver + Tracie + Ryan + Aisha + Kenny wishing him a happy birthday. Declan (Denny) also posted a photo of him and Peter. BTs are pretending that this is fine but are secretly losing it. Lou should be on set because of the hangar photo! Why is he not in that video! Why has he not posted about Peter’s birthday! But at the same time they are falling back once again on the ‘Lou is purposefully being hidden’ theory. Which is incompatible with their beliefs they will get a sighting this week.

Fourthly: one of them is saying a promo video will be released this week and promo photos the week after. I was not in the fandom in previous years but afaik this does not line up with past promo timelines? But correct me if I am wrong.

Fifthly: someone created a tumblr account called @killkinard and they are saying it is a death threat against Lou? Not Tommy? Very dramatic.

https://x.com/hofevanbuckley/status/1823057221053251994?s=46&t=i5gFcB_0q-6E5MZXiGtU_w

Sixthly: the subreddit drama… oh the subreddit drama. Okay. So. A BT shipper decided to make a new 9-1-1 subreddit because the main subreddit is way too Buddie focused. Complaining about anything to do with Tommy being downvoted on the main subreddit. So far the new subreddit has 35 members (as opposed to the 34170 members on the main reddit). So far half the posts on the new subreddit are transplanted from the main subreddit or the BT subreddit. Literally cross-posted. Makes sense that they do not like the main subreddit though. There was recently a post saying ‘why does Tommy get so much hate for being a bigot when half the main cast are cheaters’ uhhh because he is RACIST? And SEXIST? Honestly maybe it is a good thing they have that space now. Keep them contained away from the rest of us.

Seventhly and finally: someone said ‘I hope Lou posts a black and white picture Oliver takes of him on set’. They want Oliver and Lou to be Oliver and Ryan so bad oh my god. Not beating the Tommy/Eddie conflation allegations. Really all they ever do is steal from us. They have started calling Buddies ‘BDs’ now like we call them BTs. They are claiming Oliver’s new happy social media presence is a sign that he is filming with Lou. Everything we have or we say gets twisted and made about that man.

Anyways. I think it will be very funny if Lou does not show up this week. Especially because the hangar seems to be related to a Ryan and Kenny scene: https://x.com/buckleysbf/status/1823000264183271494?s=46&t=i5gFcB_0q-6E5MZXiGtU_w

Hi love 🩵

I don't even know what to say. I'm just staring at my phone. They really can't tell actors apart from characters huh? And this is a lot. I did the see part of the fake article drama but didn't fully get it. They definitely just want Tommy to be Eddie. I can't believe they dropped the BoB thing, come on guys, you don't have to copy everything we do. I do expect them to continue to detach themselves from reality more if Lou doesn't show up soon, even with the whole "they're hiding him" fantasy they have going.