#anyway I think the best thing for me to do is a) cut out sugar (the biggest nemesis to my weight)

[whenthegoldrays]

🌼

[annwe24]

SUGAR DADDY! LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR X READER

Part 2

Summary: Lucifer and you reach a somewhat transactional relationship. However, you find yourself develop feelings for him.

A/N: i just wanted to write something short:)

Sighing, you put one of your rings back into your jewelry box. You have been sitting in front of your makeup mirror for 2 hours, suffering from having too many jewelry options. Well…maybe that's not exactly suffering.

It is a cycle repeating almost every week. The King of Hell takes you out for some fancy dinner date and almost always ends up with you and him making a mess in bed. You don't know how long this relationship will last and you are sure he will soon find another "entertainer" (probably skinnier). That thought makes you recoil when looking at your reflection in the mirror. You have never been comfortable in your own skin. Heck, why would a King of all places dote on someone who looks like they can eat 10 pounds of grilled cheese?

*Circus ringtone*

Shit! You think to yourself. Nervously gripping at your designer hand bag, you inhale and exhale to calm down before finally pressing the accept button. Despite being quite close to the King (maybe too close), he never fails to make you stumble over his every little actions. He commented politely on this once; however, that hasn't improved one bit.

Hey, just wanna check up on you, darling. Are you ready to head out?

His sugar-coated voice makes you shiver a bit. You take a silent glance at your jewelry box before answering:

Yeah, you can pick me up now.

You finally admit defeat and settle down on the (f/c) set of earrings despite his preference being crimson. Sometimes, you just want to add a bit of yourself to the clothes you are wearing as a reminder to not lose yourself when indulging in his gifts. It's scary watching you slowly turn into nothing but a dress-up darling for the King. You feel less alive and more like a doll every time you go out with him. Your messy lines of thoughts are abruptly cut as a portal pops up. Standing straight and dusting the invisible dust off your fancy dress, you watched as Lucifer strides out gracefully. He pridely plants a soft kiss on your knuckles before taking in the most beautiful scenery before him-you. His eyes lingers a bit on your set of earrings before chuckling:

Darling, you look like the finest angel in hell.

Oh, Lucifer… You look away embarrassingly.

Fixing his coat, he opens another portal leading to a fancy-looking restaurant. The meal is going to cost more than all your organs combined. You think quietly to yourself.

…

You know what happens after the date. You and him. On the bed. Your clothes lying on where you don't fucking care because he will just buy you new one anyway. But you’ll be a liar if you don't find yourself enjoying the moment right now. It's your favorite activity. After intense moments, you always find yourself lying on his warm chest. It's addicting and capable of burning you alive. Maybe you do have a thing for him. Does Lucifer have a thing for you? Heaven knows. He tries to present his best version of himself for you. You don't know when the masterful actor will break his role and go off to find another toy. You just hope this lasts longer than you think. But that's enough thinking for today, you decide to focus on his gentle combing of your hair and the rise and fall of his chest instead, slowly drifting away to sleep.

Sleep fails you. It's one of those nights again where your thoughts are too loud.

Feeling a pressure on his chest, Lucifer let out a light grunt before opening his eyes. Your (e/c) ones stare back at him. You have always been… intriguing. That's why he keeps you so close, desperate for this relationship to work. He finds you addicting.

Do you love me?

Taken back by your question given the time and place, he scrambles his brain searching for a reasonable answer. The dinner went out as usual. He also makes sure to be as gentle as possible during the…uh…nevermind. Everything had been normal until now. Until you ask. Smiling sweetly at you, he tries to deliver his sentence as thoughtful as possible:

Of course, honey. You meant the world to me. What makes you question that?

Yeah, what makes you question that? You don't know. What do you even want from him? You don't know. Pushing further could lead to him getting annoyed and dumping you in the process. That reminds you of your old life. It's best to play it safe, maybe you are just confused. Afterall, you didn't have any time to process the relationship when all of this started. Nuzzling your head into his chest, you answered with your usual sweet bimbo voice that you hate so much:

Nothing! Just making sure.

You hear him let out a sign of relief and feel his shoulder relaxed. That night, you slept with a confused mess on your mind, just like any other night with him.

[runningfrom2am]

requiem // prologue

summary: according to coriolanus snow, his best friend had the most beautiful voice in all of panem. she had been training her whole life constantly to get where she was; being up for a residency at the most elite opera house in all of panem. singing was her passion. her true love; and when that got stripped from her in a second, his world became a whole lot quieter. he loathed every minute of it.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 0.8k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: opera singer!mentor!reader (blink and you'll miss it), she's kind of a prodigy!! p cool imo, mute!reader, bestfriend!coryo, friends to lovers trope ooo, mentions of graphic violence early on (particularly the prologue) but after that it's pretty safe, depictions of ptsd/trauma, mental illness and minor suicidal ideation but at least she's not entirely alone, descriptions of minor medical treatments and use of medication.

a/n: hi! welcome to the prologue for requiem!! just a taste to set things up :) sorry !!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist // pinterest board

'Are you coming to the zoo after class?' The note Coryo slid in front of you asks. You look up at him and nod, before taking your pen and scribbling underneath his penwork on the same page, sliding it back as your teacher went on and on about things you had already studied and knew by heart.

'Walk together?'

Now it's his turn to nod, meeting your gaze with a smile.

You hadn't had the chance to meet your tribute yet, but Coryo's idea to go and greet his tribute was very smart. You admired it- he was brave to do that, but something deep in the back of your chest made you uneasy about it. Regardless, you and several of your classmates would make the trip after school to go greet them, bring them food, and get to know them as much as you could. You part ways with him once you arrive, planning to walk home together later.

"Valkyrie?" You call out, scanning the tributes trapped in the cage to try and pinpoint her. You see her when her head turns at the name and you smile, waving her over. "My name is Y/N. I'll be your mentor."

She doesn't say anything as she stops in front of you, giving you a death glare that could give you chills. She looked strong. It was good, she'll do well in the games. "It's nice to meet you," you continue. "My job is to help you however I can. So anything you need or want, I'm your girl. Just say the word."

Her cold stare doesn't falter, but you try not to let your discomfort show. You need her to trust you, that was Coryo's best advice, so you would do all you could to take it. "Are you hungry? You must be. I brought you some food." You don't wait for a response that you know isn't coming, digging in your bag already.

"It's my favorite, but I do hope you like it." You hum, pulling out a container with some crackers and honey, and a lemon to cut up and put in your water bottles. "Care to sit?" You offer, already sitting down yourself, kneeling in front of the bars. You smile when she obliges, matching your posture across from you.

"I'm a singer, and honey is really good for the throat." You explain, hoping that she'll begin to trust you if she knows you a little better. "It's a nice bonus that it tastes good, too. I'm not supposed to have sugar, but I think honey is the next best thing." You open the container, trying not to expose the shakiness in your hands as you grab the small bowl of honey and a knife to spread it, but this fails drastically when you accidentally drop it and it falls past the bars just out of your reach.

"Oh, gosh- I'm just so clumsy, would you mind passing that to me?" You ask, trying to reach for it anyway. You grin when she reaches out for it, picking it up by the handle. "Thank you..." You tell her, leaning closer to grab it from her hand. Something in her eyes shifts so fast you have no chance to really pick up on it before she grabs your hair with her other hand and pulls you back into the bars.

You scream, adrenaline pumping through your veins in an instant as you try and pull yourself away but it's too late and your screams are silenced by the blade of the knife against your throat.

Your eyes go wide as she lets you go, hands coming up to your neck out of instinct and when you pull one away it's warm and covered in red. Blood. Your own blood. You're choking, trying to breathe but the air feels sticky as you fall back. "Y/N! Y/N? Hey, look at me. Look at me!" Your best friend cries out, suddenly in front of you with his arms at your sides, lowering you carefully to the ground.

You stare up at him, hands still clasped over your neck which he matches with his own, doing his best to try and stop the bleeding. "Help! Somebody, help!" He shouts, turning and hoping help is coming as your heartbeat drums behind your ears.

Several gunshots ring out, echoing in the back of your head as you stare up at the sky and Coryo drops down on top of you, likely trying to dodge the bullets. You don't know where they were going- and you don't care.

You try and speak but no sound is coming out, just the sickening gurgle of your own blood replacing the smoothness of your voice. You know it's really not good when your vision starts to blur, the last thing you see being Coryo's panicked expression as he looks over you, desperately yelling at you to stay awake and for someone to please, please help.

no taglist this time around!! my fics usually get over a hundred requests to be added to the taglist so instead i made a library! follow me over on @runningfrom2am-library and turn on notifs to get updates when i post new parts!!

[diazsdimples]

Fuck It Friday!

Sharing a little bit of my Bucktommy spinoff of my Bathena Ranch AU, featuring baby Alfie. This wip and Alfie in particular have been my guilty pleasure over the past couple of months and I'm so happy that I've finally had some beans to write them.

Buck hurries over to his son. “What’s wrong, is he okay?” he asks, holding his arms out. Eddie surrenders the baby to his father, looking a little regretful as he passes a hand through Alfie’s soft curls. “He’s fine, just getting tired.” Eddie tickles Alfie’s cheek and the baby gives another hiccup, his lip trembling. “Too much socialising for you, huh bud! I won’t take it personally.” Buck smiles softly at his best friend’s tenderness towards his son – ever since Alfie’s birth, Eddie had been by his and Tommy’s side, helping them with cooking and cleaning, and even taking Alfie for talks around the block when Buck and Tommy were in desperate need of a nap. Alfie whimpers again before his face splits into a huge yawn. “Ohhhh, yeah, that’s a sleepy baby if I ever saw one.” Tommy smiles as he walks up behind his husband, wrapping his arms around Buck’s waist. He presses a feather-light kiss to Buck’s neck and gazes adoringly at his son over Buck’s shoulder. “Want me to take him?” “Nah, it’s okay. I’ve got it.” Buck gently bounces Alfie as he makes his way back to his chair beside Bobby. The fire captain gives Buck a fond look and stretches out a hand to gently brush against the back of Alfie’s onesie, before returning to his conversation with Karen. The volume levels are still quite loud, aided by Jee, Christopher and Denny’s animated conversation about which Disney film is the best. Jee seems firmly stuck on Moana and will not accept Christopher and Denny’s suggestion of Mulan. Alfie can’t seem to settle, wriggling in Buck’s arms until he lets out a frustrated cry. “Shhh sweetheart, it’s okay,” Buck soothes, adjusting Alfie so he’s lying on Buck’s shoulder. “Daddy’s here.”

Bonus: Tommy introducing Alfie to the horses & tags under the cut

The horses trot towards Tommy as he runs his hand along the fence of their paddock, hopeful he’ll slip them an apple slice or some sugar cubes. Clover tosses her mane, the long silky strands flowing behind her like finely spun gold. Ranger – Bobby’s grey gelding – snorts and paws at the ground, nudging Tommy’s arm with his blunt nose. Tommy chuckles and rubs Ranger’s nose, enjoying the velvety feeling beneath his fingers. “Hey boy,” he says as he scratches along Ranger’s jaw. Clover seems content to let him get all the attention, nosing instead at the small bundle strapped to Tommy’s front. She huffs out a breath of air and gives Tommy an almost quizzical look. Tommy smiles. “That’s right, you haven’t met this little guy yet, have you?” He opens the wrap, revealing the top of Alfie’s head which he supports with his hand. Alfie’s mouth hangs wide open as he sleeps and there’s a patch of drool on Tommy’s shirt. “This is my little boy, Alfie. He's only a couple of weeks old, but he's the most precious thing in my life, aside from Evan.” The horses toss their heads at the small, weird looking thing in Tommy’s arms, but Clover takes a step forward and nudges him with her nose, gentler than she would do to Tommy. Alfie stirs in Tommy’s arms but doesn’t wake.  “I never thought I'd have a son, so this is kind of surreal to me you know?” Tommy continues. “He's so small and precious, and he relies on me or Evan for everything and it's nice? To be needed?” Tommy finds that he doesn’t struggle to say this to the horses. He’s been thinking it for weeks, how he never thought he’d find a man who would love him enough to want to start a family with him, and he never dreamed he’d have a baby as perfect as his son. He’s biased, of course, but every word he says to the horses is founded in truth. It all still feels like a dream to him. Tommy clears his throat, pushing aside the emotion threatening to well up.  “Anyways, this is him, you can sniff his head if you like.” He moves closer and Ranger snuffles at Alfie’s head. The fine hairs on Alfie’s head swirl as Ranger breathes out. “He smells really good, which apparently is common for newborns,” Tommy continues with a grin. He scratches behind Ranger’s ears before letting out a long sigh. “I should probably take him back inside or Evan will worry. He's a little clingy of Alfie right now, but don't tell him I said that.” He gives Ranger one last pat and rubs Clover’s nose fondly before turning around and making his way back to the house.

NP tagging friends/mutuals (feel free to ignore) @theotherbuckley @hippolotamus @daffi-990 @buckera @watchyourbuck

@bidisasterevankinard @babybibuck @bibuckbuckgoose @actuallyitsellie @bucks-daddy-issues

@wikiangela @loveyouanyway @spotsandsocks @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @thekristen999

@tommysdaddykink @underwaterninja13 @rainbow-nerdss @monsterrae1 @bigfootsmom

@perfectlysunny02 @inell @agenttommykinard @buckevantommy @bucksbignaturals (lmk if you want adding or removing for this wip)

[bunnylove1]

hi love!

i was thinking maybe you could write something about carmilla or rosie (if you write for them) or velvette (or all three separately if you want😭) like being in a secret relationship with them and sneaking out and stuff?:3 (you can add some smut if you feel like it!!)

ignore me if your requests aren’t open, have a great day/night lovely!🩷

   •.Rose buds, cellphone calls and bubbles.•

•.~a Rosie, Velvette and Carmilla  HC!

•.~warnings! Velvette kinda being a tease, fluff and mentions of reader getting hurt.

•.~ ugh one of my most loyal fans you have certainly put me out of writers block with this request THANK YOU

Rosie

•Rosie and you have been dating for a while, and it wasn’t her idea to sneak your relationship around, she takes pride in everything she does, the idea was yours. You didn’t want some sinners stalking you and or hurting you because you’re dating an overlord. Just not the way you want to live down there. But you also didn’t want to not see your girlfriend either. So it become a nightly thing that you would sneak off to Rosie’s shop were she also happens to live. So sneaking up to her room was no big deal,

“Sweetie!, how’ve you been doll” she grasped you in a big hug smothering you with her love and affection, she guided you to the couch and sat you down, “oh you know the usual nothing big but nothin to small” she giggled at you joke, your guys relationship was still like you were best friends but now with intimate nights and puppy kisses.  

Going out and about was surely no problem she just couldn’t hold you in anyway or kiss you either which, really bugged her. She wanted to show you off as her partner take pride in who she has to herself. But she understood why you didn’t want to tell anyone, she’s offered you endless of protection from her. But you simply just decline every time saying “it’s to much work for you” which bugged her even more that you thought she wouldn’t do anything to keep you safe.

“Darling” Rosie put her hand on your shoulder, “I want us to be public, please doll.” Your eyes went wide knowing this is what she always wanted “I-i Rosie you know why it can’t be-“ she cut you off “no this is what you thought would be best. Sweetie I would always protect you even in your dreams” she tucked your hair behind you ear “please, I want everyone to know” you couldn’t help but give in to her sweet tone “okay…okay fine. I guess I was over reacting a little” she gave you a peck on the cheek 

She was really happy with you decision and let’s be clear you were too, after being public for a while everyone adore your relationship. And you can’t argue any more your relationship WAS pretty great

Velvette

See velvette didn’t like the fact you had to sneak out just to see her, you lived at the hazbin hotel. Let’s just say a certain red radio demon prohibited you too be seen with any of the vees.

Not only were you pissed Alastor set rules like he was your father but, everyone already knew you and velvette were a thing. 

Velvette offered you to stay at the vees with her. And leave that ragged bitchy place. You thought about it, and I mean THOUGHT but Charlie always begged and she and you had became close and you couldn’t do that to a friend 

So that’s when it lead you too, climbing out your window on the 2 story and falling hurting you ass as you landed just to sneak off and see you precious girlfriend. 

At some point when you got the her room she had sat you down on her bed to have a serious talk to you, “baby cakes, you need to set boundaries with them. I’m tired of not being able to go on public dates with you and only seeing you at night.” It was true the only time you saw her was at night, she had placed her hands on the inners of your thighs, “please sugar for me~” she teased 

Ugh it was so hard to not say no to her. “I-I I’ll try but I can’t promise anything vel” she nodded and moved her hand to your neck softly grasping it pulling you close to her face “fine fine just..as long as I see you more” you giggled as she finally kissed you. You guys spent the rest of the night watching cheesy romance movies crying when the character died and the other was left heartbroken.

Eventually you had to go back, you went your usual route, passing through Pervy sinners and cracked up whores you made it to the hotel. But before you could go to your window Alastor pulled you inside setting you down in front of a worried Charlie, “where have you been! We went to invite you to a dinner but you weren’t anywhere in the hotel” Charlie seemed sickly worried, you couldn’t help but feel a little sorry.

“Look Charlie, I have a girlfriend and I’m not allowed to see her because YOU set a rule that we’re not allowed to see anyone from the vees which it just fucking stupid.” You pointed to Alastor waving your finger around as you do so. “I want to set boundaries. I’m allowed to see my girlfriend.” You rub your templates Charlie spoke up “I get it. I mean I would be hurt if I wasn’t able to see vaggie,” she looked at Vaggie placing her hand around her waist “here how about, you can see your girlfriend as long as you don’t take there side?” You looked up at her a bright smile posted on your face 

“OMG thank you thank you thank you!! HA! Suck that you strawberry looking ass!” You said to Alastor flipping him the bird before running to your girlfriend’s place. 

Let’s just say life with vel after being able to see her every day was never boring.

Carmilla

Let’s say one thing she was the one who wanted it to be private. One to keep you safe and Two she likes things to be private and not having someone being in the middle of your relationship.

I wouldn’t consider you having to sneak out to see her, more of a be more aware when you coming over thing. She likes the time she has with you so she savours it all, ever. Last. Drop off it. 

I like too see Carmilla as a bubble bath girl, she likes taking bubble baths with you. Not only so you get alone time without some weirdos trying to see you guys “hanging out”. But also she likes to see your hair wet and it’s a plus that she likes to wash your body. I mean the girl has two daughters.

It took a lot of convincing to let your relationship go public. She’s always tell you why? You would explain why and she would just brush it off saying she was sorry and that she doesn’t want anything happening to you. 

“Baby please. I wanna be able to hold your hand in public” you grabbed your lovers arm and looked her in the eyes, “I know mi amor I know, I just I don’t know if we can” you look away from her face “will we ever.” You mouth spoke the truth. It wasn’t like you didn’t get to see her, but you wanted things to be like that even out of private spaces. She cupped your face “mi amor of course it will, but just not right now.” I couldn’t help but just nod you trusted her.

Sooner than later a year into your relationship, Carmilla took your hand while you guys were walking to the meeting. Your eyes went big as she held it tight every demon looking at you guys with wide mouths and eyes that were popping out of there eyes 

“C-Carmilla” she looked down at you a eyebrow rising, “yes mi amor, is there a problem” you just smiled and shook your head “no not at all” after that day you guys kept most stuff private but now people knew that you guys were dating.

•.~OMG THIS TOOK SO LONG FOR SOME REASON IM SO HAPPY HOW THIS CAME OUT 

•.~ I hope this is what you wanted! If not let me know!

[yanderemommabean]

PLEASE WRITE MORE DEATH NOTE I BEG YOU. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ONLINE I NEED MORE YANDERE L. PLEASE I'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE PROTECTION SPELLS I HAVE! I love the idea of foreigner reader that doesn't speak Japanese well and just came to Japan for a fun trip and now they are being investigated for being Kira. Reader is more scared of being arrested than of Kira because they have literally never committed a crime in their life so they know they are safe but they are scared of the legal system because they know that's it's not actually justice sometimes. But they aren't crying in a corner either. They just take it as it comes but they definetly don't like it and just want to go back home.

Also when L is like "who do you think Kira is since you say you aren't them." and reader is just like "light". point blank. doesn't bat an eye. and l is just like "...I agree with you....but do explain why since you've had only one conversation with him." and reader's just like "he's too perfect. have you ever watched a True crime documentary? the perfect dude, or the dude that could never do anything wrong, is the killer." and l is just like "...I agree.....but you are aware that you are too perfect..doesn't that make you a killer?" and reader is just like "me???perfect?? in what world??"

I'm rambling but please more death note L.

I love the point blank call out, just "Listen, anyone with eyes can see that Light is too calculated with his movements, like he's paranoid to step out of line. Even when he messes up it's too clean"

L just hums and nods along, but he's already fairly certain Light is Kira anyway, he just likes to hear your thought process and likes how your voice sounds.

You're not a helpless little lamb by any means, but you're certainly unaware of how much danger is actually around you. Kira is a big deal, everyone is on his hit list it seems, even sweet, intelligent and enthralling visitors such as yourself.

L isn't one to sugar coat things either, he's rather blunt and forward, as the worlds best detective has to be to cut out the bullshit. So he sets his sweets down and abruptly says "Be that as it may, until we actually catch Kira, you aren't going to be able to leave. As much as it annoys us both, you're still involved in this as anyone else"

You just tense your jaw, paranoid thoughts rushing through your mind as you fear you might somehow incriminate yourself despite being fully innocent. What can you say? The legal system sucks. But L just lays a hand on your shoulder, giving a rare smile as he tries to ease your nerves.

"Ah, but you'll have me on your side. You'll be safe from any harm. You're free to go to your hotel, but you will be hearing from us again"

He can admit he hates seeing you so stressed, and rather lascivious thoughts fill his brain on how to indulge you and fix that, but sadly the clock is ticking and he has some annoying people to answer before he can relax. He'll just have to make do with watching some street cameras and remembering the warmth of you under his fingertips.

-Mommabean

[average-dilf-enjoyer]

KINKTOBER

Day 5: Virginity + Joel Miller (The Last of Us)

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

Word count: 2.7K

Warnings: Oral (f receiving), PIV sex, fingering, lots of pet names, insecure reader, pre-outbreak Joel

A/N: Sorry I've been late with writing! I had really busy few days. When I get the time I'm gonna do multiple fics in one day over a couple of days to catch up, just bear with me for a week or so while I get back on schedule

——————————————————————————

You didn’t know what the hell you were thinking, letting Joel take you to his place. It was a terrible idea, really. Because you knew you wouldn't be able to stop once you started.

But you let him drag you inside anyways. You let him push you up against the door and kiss you hard and deep, and you nodded when he pulled away to whisper, "Is this okay?" because as much as it terrified you, you fucking needed Joel Miller.

You also didn't protest when Joel brought you to his bedroom, laying you down on his sheets and kissing you over and over again.

"Joel," you whispered against his lips, trying to get his attention. He didn't answer, just kept pressing kisses to your lips. "Joel," you mumbled again. Another kiss. You pressed your hands into his chest, pushing him off you. "Joel."

"Yeah, baby?" he cooed, cupping your face in his hand and swiping his thumb tenderly across your cheekbone.

"I need to tell you something, but you gotta promise not to laugh," you muttered nervously. What if he thought you were weird?

"Can't promise that if I don't know what it is," he said, that gorgeous smile of his on full display. "But I'll try my best, honey." He leaned down to press a gentle kiss to the space below your ear. "What's on your mind?"

"Um..." Stupid. It was fucking stupid. Twenty-six years old, and you were still a virgin. The whole thing was so dumb. You'd had boyfriends before Joel, and you easily could have lost your virginity to any of them, but you didn't want to. You were scared, to be honest. Not to say that you weren't still fucking terrified, but you had a feeling Joel would be good to you. "I... damn it."

"Take your time, honey..." Joel murmured, lightly kissing at your neck and rubbing your sides in a soothing motion.

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself, and then blurted it out before you could think about it any more. "I'm a virgin."

Joel immediately lifted his head to look you in the eyes. He could see the fear in them, and he wanted nothing more than to get rid of it. "Oh, honey," he sighed. "You should've told me sooner, I would've taken things slower. We can stop if you want. Don't gotta go any further if you ain't ready."

"No, no, I want to," you assured him. You really did, as much as it scared you. If anyone was going to take your virginity, you wanted it to be Joel.

"You sure, darlin'?" he asked, concerned. "We don't need to do anything toni-"

You cut him off with a kiss. "I want it. I want you," you whispered. "Please, Joel."

Joel groaned, kissing your jaw. "Fuck, honey. Gonna be the death of me, I swear." His hands moved to the hem of your shirt. "Can I take this off?"

You nodded. "Yeah." You'd never done this before, let a man see you like this. And even though you wanted Joel to see, you were still nervous. Insecurity flooded you, suddenly all too aware of each of your flaws.

Joel seemed to sense your nervousness, because he stopped. "You alright there, honey?"

You sighed. "Yeah, just... never done this before, y'know?"

Joel nodded. "You don't gotta be nervous, I gotcha. You just relax."

"Okay," you mumbled. You had to remind yourself that this was Joel. The man that didn't kiss you on the first date out of respect. The man who made time for you even if he had a long day at work. The man who told you how beautiful you were every time he saw you.

"Okay," Joel agreed with a soft smile. "You wanna leave the shirt on, then? Don't gotta show me, but let me tell ya sugar, I'd fuckin' love to see what's hidin' under it."

You shook your head. "No, you- you can, I want you to.”

“Alright. Tell me if you’re uncomfortable with anything I do, okay?” he asked as his fingers began pulling your shirt up your lower stomach.

“I will,” you breathed, lifting your arms to help him slide the shirt over your head.

“Good girl,” Joel cooed, his hands moving to your now bare torso, rubbing his hands along the skin. “Shit, you’re gorgeous, honey.”

“Joel…” you giggled, squirming as his hands brushed along your sensitive skin. “That tickles.”

“Oh yeah?” he growled playfully, his hands purposefully tickling you now.

You laughed and smacked his hands away. “Joel!”

“Alright, I’ll stop. But only ‘cause I like ya,” he joked, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Can I take off your bra? Wanna see your beautiful tits.”

“You haven’t seen them yet, how do you know they’re beautiful?” you quipped.

“Because every part of you is beautiful, baby,” Joel whispered, and you just about melted on the spot. He was so sweet, so gentle, so Joel, and you could barely handle it.

“Honey…” you breathed. “Please. I want you to see me. I trust you.” And you did. You trusted him more than you had ever trusted any other man. You trusted him with this precious part of yourself nobody else had ever had the privilege of seeing before. You trusted him to take your virginity.

“I told you, I gotcha. You don’t gotta worry about a thing when you’re in my bed, you got that?” Joel said as he unclasped your bra, gently sliding it off your arms and discarding it on the floor with your shirt.

“I know,” you agreed with a nod of your head. “You got me.”

“Oh, sweetheart…” Joel breathed, completely in awe of you. “So fuckin’ perfect. I don’t deserve ya, I really don’t.”

You giggled. “Are you kidding? I don’t deserve you. You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever met.”

“Darlin’ you deserve every good thing in this world and then some,” Joel sighed, his hands moving to rest just below your breasts. “Can I..?”

You nodded eagerly. “Yes.” You had never wanted so badly for a man to touch you until now. You felt like you would explode if you had to wait even another minute.

His hands gently, tentatively rested over your breasts, his thumbs swiping over your hardened nipples. “So soft…” he murmured, lightly squeezing them. He smiled when you sucked in a sharp breath. “Doin’ okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Feels good.” He was so gentle with you, soft and sweet as his hands kneaded at your chest. “Don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” he assured you, moving to kiss at your shoulder. “‘M gonna try somethin’, tell me if it feels good.”

“Okay,” you breathed, waiting for whatever he was planning for you with bated breath. You couldn’t imagine that whatever he was about to do wouldn’t feel good. You were quickly proven right when Joel took one of your nipples between his fingers and lightly pinched it. “Oh, fuck-“

“Good?” He mumbled, his mouth never leaving your skin.

“Very. Do it again,” you insisted, and he huffed a laugh against your shoulder.

“As you wish, darlin’.” One of his hands continued to play with your nipple while the other drifted from your breast to your hip, holding you to him while he toyed with you.

“Shit,” you panted, tingles of pleasure coursing through you. “Joel, oh my God.”

“I had a feelin’ you’d like that,” he whispered, his kisses moving from your shoulder, down, down-

“Fuck!” you yelped when he pulled your other breast into his mouth, tongue swirling around the sensitive skin. “Feels so good, Joel, don’t stop,” you begged, running one hand through his hair while the other grasped at the bedsheets.

And he didn’t. He sucked and licked and touched and didn’t stop for one moment, playing with your body and pulling sounds you didn’t even know you could make from your mouth.

"Wanna see what's under these jeans,” he begged, and you took his hand and guided it to the waistband of your pants.

“Please,” you whispered, sounding almost embarrassingly needy, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to worry about that when he was touching you like this.

His hands eagerly pulled at the waistband of your jeans, tugging them down along with your panties. He had to have you, he couldn’t fucking wait any longer. “Fuuuck…” he groaned, his eyes drinking you in as you laid completely bare under him. “Gotta taste you, baby. Will ya let me? Let me lick your pretty pussy till you’re comin’ on my face?”

You swore you nearly came right then. “Yes, fuck, whatever you want, honey,” you panted as he kissed down your body, stopping just below your belly button.

“You sure?” he rasped against your skin. One last chance to back out.

“Yes. I need you, please, Joel.” You were desperate, clenching around nothing.

He positioned himself right between your legs, looking directly at your bare heat. "Y'know, I think it's kinda hot that you're a virgin, if ya don't mind me sayin'," Joel mused as his hands grasped your hips, tugging you closer.

"Why?" How could he possibly find that attractive? A whole-ass adult woman who's never been laid? What was hot about that?

"Because, darlin', I get to be the first one to see how beautiful you look when you come, and I get to be the first to touch this pretty pussy," Joel explained, kissing your inner thighs. "Pretty goddamn special, bein' a woman's first."

"Oh," you breathed, lost for words.

"Yeah," he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your clit.

You gasped, bucking into his touch. “Oh my God,” you whined.

Hearing you whimper like that, Joel had to restrain himself from completely devouring you. ‘Go slow,’ he reminded himself as he licked a stripe up your slit. “Taste like fuckin’ candy, sweetheart,” he groaned, kitten licking at your clit.

You fisted your hand in his hair, lightly tugging on it, and he let out a low grumble of approval. Of course he liked getting his hair pulled.

“Just like that, fuck,” you moaned as he circled your clit with his tongue.

He continued like that, driving you closer to the brink of ecstasy with each passing moment. He ate you like a man starved, his eyes never leaving you as he took in your reactions to what he was doing, learning what you liked best.

"F-fingers. Please," you whimpered, and he obliged without hesitation, sliding his middle finger into you.

His ring finger followed not long after, pumping in and out of you. Oh God, his fingers were so much longer, so much thicker than yours. He started slow as he let you get used to the feeling, but he quickly sped up, relishing in your moans as he crooked his fingers into you, hitting that spot that had you seeing stars.

"J-Joel, I'm gonna come," you managed to get out between pants, the feeling of his tongue on your clit and his fingers inside you overwhelming in the best way possible.

"Go ahead, honey, I wanna feel it," he groaned, his movements not letting up for even a moment as he brought you closer and closer to your release.

A moment later he had you coming on his tongue just he had promised, licking up your release as your thighs trembled around his head. “Holy shit,” you gasped, affectionately running your hand through his hair as he finally took his mouth off your pussy, instead settling for kissing your inner thighs as you came down from your high.

“Good?” he asked with a knowing smirk.

“Amazing,” you corrected him as you bent forward to kiss him, tasting yourself on his tongue. You moaned softly into his mouth as he laid you back, once again climbing on top of you.

"Good to hear," he said gently, running his hand down your body from your chest to your pussy, running a finger through your slick folds. "You gonna let me fuck ya, honey?"

"Yeah." You couldn't wait any longer, any fear you might have felt overwhelmed by lust and need.

He nodded, grabbing a condom from his bedside drawer and sliding it over himself. “Okay. You tell me if you need me to stop, you got it?"

"I know. Just... please, Joel."

And, well, how could he resist that?

"Gonna go nice and slow, alright pretty girl?" he mumbled as he lined himself up with your entrance. "Don't wanna hurt you."

"You won't," you assured him, leaning up to kiss him.

He kissed you back sweetly, gently grasping your hips for leverage and slowly pushing the tip of him into you.

You whimpered against his lips at the burn of him stretching you open in a way you never had been before.

"I know, baby," he whispered, peppering your face with kisses. "You're doin' good. Doin' so good, honey."

"Ow," you hissed as he pushed deeper, ever so slowly.

"Need me to stop?" he asked, his eyes not leaving yours as he gauged your response.

You shook your head. "No, just... keep going slow."

“Okay.”

After a minute of pushing slightly into you, stopping when you dared make a noise to check that you were still doing okay, and then moving a little more, he was finally fully sheathed within you. And it felt fucking incredible.

“Oh, Joel…” you moaned. You felt full in a way you never had before, feeling like you could barely breathe as you adjusted to Joel’s cock inside you.

“Pretty girl…” he whispered, brushing his hand across your cheek. “You feel so good. Fit me like a goddamn glove.”

You giggled and leaned up to kiss him, running a hand through his hair. “Move,” you insisted, needing more of him.

He only hummed in response, his lips staying latched onto yours as he pulled out almost entirely and slowly pushed back into you. He just repeated that for a while, letting you get used to it all, and eventually the burn faded. You bucked your hips forward. “More, Joel.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he mumbled, his thrusts picking up speed as he pulled away from your lips to look you in the eyes.

“Baby,” he gasped, his brows furrowing in concentration. “Tell me, s’it feel good? Am I makin’ my girl feel good?”

“Yes, fuck, don’t stop.”

“I won’t, sugar,” he grunted, pressing deep into you and slowing his pace to a roll of his hips, and it had you seeing stars. “Won’t stop until you’re comin’ all over me.”

Joel held true to his word, never letting up as you writhed and whimpered under him, that familiar knot of pleasure building inside you.

“Joel- fuck, need your fingers.” You were so close. His fingers on your clit would have you coming undone around him in seconds.

He answered with a low groan, his hand reaching down to rub tight circles onto your clit.

“Oh, fuck!” You were nearly shouting now, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Your head fell to the side, your eyes fluttering shut.

“Shit, you’re squeezin’ me, honey. You gonna come?”

You nodded eagerly, grasping at his shoulders.

“Look at me, wanna see that pretty face when ya come,” Joel cooed, cupping your face in his hand.

You met his desperate, hungry gaze and that was all you needed to fall over the edge, moaning his name as pleasure overcame you.

He fucked you through it until he couldn’t anymore, seating himself deep inside you as he came a moment later.

You gazed at each other silently as you came down from your highs, sweaty and sated. You stayed like that for a moment before he pulled out of you, discarding the condom in the garbage.

“How’re you feelin’ sweet girl?” Joel finally asked.

“Incredible,” you sighed, your body relaxing into the mattress.

Joel crawled back into bed, leaning in to kiss you. “Glad it was good for you.”

“Of course it was good,” you whispered, running a hand along his chest. “And for the record, you’re amazing at oral,” you added.

He chuckled. “Why, thank you, sugar.”

You were asleep not ten minutes later, and as Joel looked down at your sleeping figure, he felt peace for the first time in years.

[chiriwritesstuff]

i stumbled upon those meet cute nyc tik toks where the guy asks random couples on the street how they met

PICTURE THIS:

Joel and Sugar walking around NY together maybe after some conference that they went to together. He’s got his protective hand on her lower back as she’s chatting away about some random interaction with a squirrel she had while waiting for him when he was in the toilet.

They get stopped by the guy and he’s like are you a couple and before she even processes the question Joel’s proudly proclaims” Yes, yes we are” and proceeds to tell their story (skipping the more nsfw stuff). Readers a bit camera shy but butts in every once in a while to correct him jokingly.

I just see Joel going like “this one did this” or “this one here had no idea what she was getting into” as you playfully pat his chest. I see this happening a few years after marriage so they do a shout-out to all the kids.

*bonus* the internet goes crazy for them in the comments.

*bonus two* it does the rounds a bit around sugars parents club and they get this glimpse into the life they’re no longer a part of (fuck them)

OH NONNIE. I love that TikTok account! I could totally see this happening with Joel and Sugar in the future, so let's flash forward a few years...

Meet Cute NYC - Joel and Sugar, from Austin, Texas

(Also, I had a BALL laughing at the thing with the squirrel and Joel being on the toilet!)

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.3k

"… and then I asked its name, and the squirrel quirks its head at me and said, 'Well, I'm Bill!' and I was like, 'OH MY GOD, I know a Bill, and he's one of the best people I know-"

"Wait, Mami. Are you seriously telling me a squirrel introduced itself as Bill? … and all this happened while I was on the toilet?" Joel indulges you, a hearty laugh escaping as you both make your way to Gray's Papaya, Joel's sole request for accompanying you to the IT convention in New York. He guides you towards the wall of a building, noticing a man with a tiny microphone focused on both of you from the corner of his eye. Raising an eyebrow at the stranger, Joel positions you so that your conversation is shielded from prying ears.

"Hey, hey, are you guys a couple?!" The man with the tiny microphone shouts, waving at the both of you, his iPhone pointed forward, eager to capture any response.

Joel stops in his tracks, the hand that was on your lower back circling your waist as he pulls you into his side, a playful smile on his lips. "Yeah, this is my girl right here. Even the squirrels know it."

"Papi!" you squeak, burying your face into his chest. "That's private!"

The man laughs at that, a wide smile forming on his face. "Well, do you mind me asking how the both of you met?!"

"Well," Joel exhales, "Do you have time? because it's a doozy-"

"Oh, it was not-" you cut him off, playfully slapping his chest.

"… as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by my beautiful wife," he presses a kiss on your forehead, winking. "I actually met her in the mall back in Austin while she was being dragged against her will to go spend time with her mama."

You nod. "This is true."

"She was back home from college. You know, she was getting her Masters," he adds proudly, "… and she was the cutest fucking thing I've ever laid my eyes on. Absolutely fucking beautiful, she took my breath away," he gets a faraway look on his face, his eyes a little misty.

"Anyway, I had met her mother before, because I was gonna fix their roof that she managed to set on fire with an antenna she tried to mount, poor thing didn't realize that there was gonna be a lightning storm, her father was furious with her!"

"He was," you quip, blushing. "The whole side of the roof was just burnt to a crisp!"

"And what did you think of your husband then?"

"Well, I thought he was hot, and thought of myself as shameful, having impure thoughts about him right in the presence of my mother. Thought I should go to hell with him at the gates, waiting for me." You gush, blushing at the memory.

"So how did you guys get together?"

"Well, we met 15 years ago. She was too young for me at that point, and well, I was just getting my business out the door. We didn't see each other for ten years until I saw her mama at the same mall one day, and we got to talking… and my baby needed a job, and I needed an IT specialist… and I thought to myself, fuck, I've been biding my time, I will never get a chance again if I don't take this one, so I told her mama to have her call me. That was five years ago."

"I used to go to these Sunday dinners at my parent's house, and my mama goes on and on about how she's seen Joseph or James at the mall-"

"That's what she called me?!" Joel exclaims, shocked.

"Yeah! So I go and tell her, 'I think his name's-', playing like it wasn't the best thing that's ever come out of her mouth. She told me that the job was basically mine and that I should wear some heels and a skirt to meet him-"

"God, that was the best fucking gift-"

You giggle, holding Joel tighter. "Anyway, I got the job, and apparently, my husband was completely technology inept, didn't know the difference between a printer and a copy machine-"

"Hey!" Joel exclaims, shaking his head and chuckling.

"… and then one night, he emailed me at midnight about some crisis he was having about pop-ups," you laugh, clutching at your middle. "… and while I was fixing his computer at one in the morning, well, I stumbled upon a bucket list of his, and the rest was history."

The host laughs. "What kind of bucket list was it?"

"Oh, well, let's just say-"

"It was one I made with her in mind," Joel cuts you off, blushing. "I figured, these were the things I would do with her if she gave me a chance again, and she did, after confronting me about it."

"I did, and I'm glad that fate connected us one more," you muse. "… because now, we're happily married and are taking our first trip together without our kids, and it's been a blast!"

"Hi Amie, Hi Bruno!" Joel interjects, waving to the camera. "I hope your older sisters are not losing their minds watching you both!" he winces at the camera, knowing damn well that they're probably up to no good. "Sorry Sarah and Ellie, promise to bring you guys back something good!"

"So what brings you guys to New York?"

"Well, my baby here was a speaker at an IT convention, held a panel and everything!" Joel gushes, pushing you forward slightly towards the camera. "I'm just here for the ride, as her proud husband!"

"Oh Papi, stop!" you exclaim, smiling widely. "It was nothing, really."

"Don't sell yourself short like that, baby!" Joel chides, "You fucking killed it, I was so fucking proud of her! She's not one for public speaking, but her panel was sold out! all 200 seats!"

"So what's your favorite thing about one another?"

"I love everything about him," you reply honestly, locking eyes with Joel as he hugs you. "I love how persistent and driven he is, how he takes charge and makes sure that everyone he loves is taken care of."

"I love her soul," Joel smiles back at you, caressing your cheek. "She does these things that might seem weird to people but is the most endearing shit to me. Like just right now, she was having a chat with Bill the squirrel-"

"BABY!" you scream, hiding your face in his chest. "That didn't happen," you mumble into the fabric, clearly embarrassed.

"One last question: Five years married, four kids, what's the secret to a successful marriage?"

"You lose the girl for a bit, make a shit ton of money, become a millionaire, and tell your asshole in-laws to suck a dick!" Joel exclaims, laughing. "Sorry, baby," he adds, putting his arm around your shoulder as he leads you away.

"What's your guys' names?" the host yells after you. Joel turns around once more, smiling into the iPhone.

With a wink, he yells, "Joel and Sugar Miller!"

Comments 10.5K mami94794: OMG GOALS ConnieBaby: YOU GUYS THAT'S MY BOSS! Hit me up, I have all of the tea… Reply (109): GIVE ME THE TEA, GIRL! girldad808: wow 10 years of waiting my god the kitty must be good! S.Miller: DAD??? EllieBellie123: You guys better be getting me something good! Bruno drew something on my ukelele! ohheythere5478734: Damn where can I find me a rich ol daddy out on these streets?!?

Meanwhile, at the Austin County Country Club…

"Have you seen that video that went viral on the news?" your mother's friend says as she sips her Old Fashion, her eyebrows quirked conspiratorily.

"What video?" your mother asks.

"The one of your son-in-law, telling the world for you and your husband to suck a dick," she laughs, giving your mother a smirk. "I'm assuming that's why you didn't know they got hitched in Hawaii all those years ago? How embarrassing is it to be called out by someone on the Fortune 500 list, huh?"

[monstersinthecosmos]

Marius and Armand taking a romantic vacation cruise somewhere where Marius introduces him to everyone on the ship as “my son”. They even go so far as to do all the corny planned activities and he says things like “that’s my boy” or “he gets his aim from my side of the family”. Then at night they go to the dance floor where they spend the the entire time dancing and slowing rubbing against each other and sucking drinks from one another’s fingers before retreating back to their cabin to have very loud sex with the door to their balcony and all the windows open. The next day they wear matching family vacation tees with some god awful font saying Team De Romanus on them for when they go ashore

I feel like you’re fucking with me because I used to work on cruise ships and you have no idea how many sugar baby couples I used to see and how we always had to feel them out the first day and figure out if it was a parent/child or if it was a couple except some of them hit the skimpy outfits and public makeout HARD so there was no mystery.

anyway thinking about the time I had to deliver a package to a guest room and it was the very handsome and fit 55 year old silver fox with his 19 year old boyfriend who wore very short shorts the whole cruise and how he came to answer he door all flushed in a bathrobe with the young man barely covered by a sheet in bed behind him 😂

he tipped really well, it was the best.

anyway you’re quite right; I imagine them in one of the more expensive cruise lines where there isn’t rowdy partying like seabourne or something, probably one with lots of sea days and less ports because he likes the feeling of drifting out there and can take Armand to visit these cities any time they want, no need to cram them all into one trip. He definitely shelled out for the spa packages and pays for Armand to get his hair cut and he’s never gotten an expensive haircut before where it was so relaxing to have people touch his scalp.

he also pays for dinner in the speciality restaurants every night instead of using the dining room where the food was included in ship fare; they get the dim candlelight corner tables so he can hand feed Armand, and Armand touches Marius’s cock under the table, they get drunk on fancy wine and the sommelier knows Marius’s name and gives him all the best first picks because he’s such a generous tipper.

more than one night he gave armand head up on the forward top deck when no one around so that armand could lay back in the deck chairs and watch the stars! He’s never been treated like this beofre!

anyway armand is young and reckless and gets a little too drunk most nights; marius fucks him gently so he doesn’t get the spins, it’s really nice with the way the ship rocks. He never feels seasick, more like he’s being cradled to sleep.

and you know armand sleeps in every morning and Marius is out having his coffee on the deck and attending all the scenic cruise lectures ! He loves educational stuff!!!

anyway listen. I could say more but. 🥸

[lovrre]

princesses last berzatto dinner~ prt 1

Carmen berzatto x black female reader

Word count: 5k

summary : Y/n, also known as Princess, returns home to Chicago for a final Christmas dinner with the Berzattos before permanently moving to Los Angeles. Saying goodbye to the family she invited herself into when she was only six.This Dinner may be the last opportunity for y/n and Carmen to makeup before they go their separate ways forever. Will they make the most of this chance.(the way that she was supposed to be short  and sweet, I literally ended up writing 8,000 words…. Anyway this will probably be a three-part series)

warnings: cursing, drug use (weed), drinking, smoking(cigarettes), smut… and probably a bunch other stuff

You knock on the front door with your right hand trying to balance the metal pan of banana pudding you brought in your left. You can see your breath in the air as you breathe due to how cold it is outside. There are no responses from when you knocked the first time so you knock again slightly harder. Still no answer, You start getting irritated with the cold air nipping at your bare legs and the pan that keeps trying to lean right. Just when you think of leaving, Richie opens the door with a confused look on his face.

“Please Don’t make that stupid face, Donna asked me to come so I’m here,” you say walking passed him into the living room, “I didn’t even say anything” you hear Richie mumble before closing the door.

As soon as you walk inside you're greeted by the loud familiar sounds of the Berzatto home. Christmas music played in the background as everyone talked loudly amongst themselves. You go to take off your coat and put it on the coat rack by the entrance. Natalie stops you Putting her arm over your shoulder And directing you through the hallway.

“Finally someone sane,” she says turning to you “Jesus you look great” she sighs looking up at you “I look a mess, I haven’t slept properly in days. I’m stressed out of my mind, Mom’s at like six right now and I can’t- is this the pudding?” Natalie asks interrupting herself, gesturing to the the metal pan in your hand. “Mmh” you hum with a sight smile “Awww you made the small pan this time,” she says with a little pout “Yeah, I decided last minute to come so I didn’t have time to….” you say realizing you’ve said too much. Sugar’s face drops slightly, “It’s just-“ you say trying to defend yourself but Natalie interrupts

“you don’t have to explain yourself, trust me I understand... I’m just glad you came, but I had hoped you and Carm worked things out by now” Sugar says with a sad smile

“I did too, but I think it’s permanent this time,” you say trying your best to sound unbothered. “Well, you still have me,” Sugar says giving you a tight side hug. “That I do,” you say giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Don’t stress, I’ll handle Donna” you say giving her a reassuring look. “That’s probably for the best, I think you’re probably the one who can”.

You nod walking towards the kitchen. When you walk in you see Donna’s back facing you, she's moving back and forth from the cutting board, pot, and oven. You walk up slowly behind her rubbing her back to notify her you‘re here. She jumps a little grabbing her chest.

“Y/n you scared the shit out of me,” Donna says with a big smile, she wraps her arms around you. hovering her butter-covered hands so she doesn't get any on your jacket. “Oh you look so beautiful,” Donna says gesturing like she wants to hold your face “Has Carmy seen you?” she says quickly turning around to turn something off on the stove. “No, not yet“ you reply looking around the room for somewhere to put your coat hoping she would drop the topic. “That’s OK I’ll call him for you,” Donna says fixing her mouth to yell. “No, no it’s ok Donna-“

“CARMEN GET IN HERE NOW, Y/N HERE!” Donna yells angrily at the top of her lungs. “You didn’t have to do that Donna I was gonna talk to him eventually,” You say letting out an annoyed sigh “So…I just sped it up, What’s the problem?” she says returning to her pot. “Nothing never mind,” you say dropping it. You hear heavy loud footsteps running into the kitchen and turn your head to see what it is.

“What, What is it? what’s the matter!” Carmy says irritated and frantic from the entrance of the kitchen. “Good you're here, look how fucking beautiful she is Carmy, it’s she fucking beautiful,” Donna says gesturing to you. You give Carmen a little wave and he nods dismissively making you instantly regret it. The feeling of Aggravation washes over you and you get the urge to be an asshole. “Carmen tell her she looks fucking beautiful!” Donna says getting irritated.

“No Ms.D it’s okay If Carmen wants to be disrespectful let him be disrespectful,” you say with a dramatic shrug trying to keep the smile off your face. “Carmen” Donna says staring him down. “Ma look she’s fucking with you, look she’s smiling,” Carmen says. trying to plead his case “CARMEN!“ Donna yells making you jump slightly. There’s a silence that settles in the room before he talks “You look…good, y/n” Carmy says reluctantly. “Aww thanks, babe,” you say sarcastically giving him a tight-lipped smile. Carmen gives you a nasty look before leaving the kitchen and you get the urge to flip him off even after he already left.

“I guess the Los Angeles is treating you well,” Donna says while stirring something. “Huh?” You asked confused “Your coat, it looks expensive,” she says taking the spoon out of the pot and banging it on the edge to get off the extra sauce. “It wasn’t, I got it from a friend”

you reply shorty trying to quickly change the topic “Anyway how have you been” you ask with a small smile. Donna goes completely silent for a second and you worry you said something wrong,“ I need you to redo my roots tomorrow are you spending the night?” Donna asks ignoring your question completely taking her finger and tasting the sauce off the spoon. “No I got a hotel- have you asked Natalie to do it?” You ask leaning against the counter. “So she can get dye everywhere, no- what’s that?” Donna questions mid-sentence, pointing at your pan making your heart drop.

“Banna pudding?” you say hoping you weren't about to be the cause of a breakdown. Donna lets out a relieved sigh at your words. “For a second I thought you made fish”. Donna says with a laugh that makes you uncomfortable turning around and resuming her cooking. “Ms. D you know, I know better” you chuckle trying to find a place to put your pan on the crowded counter, you hesitantly put the tin pan close to the edge because it's the only spot available. You also take off your coat placing it on an empty chair by the entrance of the dining room. “I'm so glad you came, I was just telling Michael “y/n coming”, he didn't believe me but I told him you were on-” a loud ringing of food timer interrupted her. She quickly turns it off with sauce-covered fingers before yanking open the oven.

“Fuck” Donna says loudly grabbing her oven mitts and throwing the hot pan onto the counter. “Y/n hand me the knife over there,” Donna says not turning around. You quickly get the knife and hand it to her upside down when you feel arms wrap around you from behind. “THE PRINCESS IS HERE!” Michael announces picking you up off the ground and spinning you. “GET OFF” you yell trying to get out of his grasp. “Don't do that shit in here,” Donna says shooing the two of you towards the kitchen entrance. Michael puts you back on the ground and you readjust your dress that rode up slightly.

Fak walks in with a dramatic surprised expression plastered on his face “Princess?” Fak says with a big smile walking up and hugging you, You try to protest but he squeezes you tighter swaying side to side. “Ok ok, that's enough,” you say finally breaking free “Why is everyone so huggy suddenly” you say adjusting your dress again.

“Because We haven’t seen you in forever,” Fak says with a smile that makes you suddenly feel a little bad for not telling any of them this was your last Christmas dinner together or probably any dinner here because you were moving to LA for good. “It’s been a couple of months,” You say walking back into the kitchen to get a glass of wine. “It's been like nine, princess,” Michael says following behind you with Fak. You open the cabinet where Donna keeps the glasses before your brain tells you to ask. “Can I use a glass?” you turn around to ask hand already on the stem of it. “Of course y/n...” she says before taking a pause, putting her knife down on the cutting board

“You know what I think princess, I think you’ve been away from home too long...you’re starting to act shy like you don't know us….Getting hotels. You're Just like Carmen, you two pop in and out as you please“ Donna says resumeing her chopping faster than before. You let out a sigh wiping your face in frustration at the topic “I have missed you at the beef” Fak chimes in nodding his head annoyingly while chewing on something. “fak why are talking right now?” you say quickly giving him a shut the fuck up look, and he does. “fuck Princess I hate to agree with him but he’s right, when’s the last you came and got your sandwich?” Michael asks lifting an eyebrow.

“My job is in Los Angeles so I’m usually in Los Angeles I don't see what the problem is here,” you say looking in the drawers for a wine bottle opener. “It's in that one,” Donna says, pointing to the drawer, close to her. You retrieve the wine opener and she continues. “I'm just saying y/n it would be nice if you visited more often,” Donna says shrugging her shoulders, throwing onions in the pot. You sigh internally not wanting her to start the same lecture you’ve heard a million times before. You don't say anything so Michael starts up again

“Princess you know, I really didn't think we’d see you again. I didn't, Mom told me you were coming, I said no fucking way. After last year you didn't show up I thought we had lost you and that fucking pudding forever”

Michael says laughing while leaning against the counter where you put your pan. “Actually where’s that shit, I need to continue the tradition,” Michael says turning his head and his body slightly side to side looking for it, in the process pressing his back against the pan pushing it closer towards the edge. “can you stop? STOP STOP!” you scream running behind Michael grabbing your pan before it fell “Pay the fuck attention you were about to drop it all over the damn floor!” you say angrily holding the pan far away from him. “And you Must be diluted if you think I’m gonna let you put your dirty ass finger in my pudding again, it's not happening,” you say discretely looking around for a place to hide

It.

“Ooo not so shy anymore,” Michael says in a taunting, older brother tone “I can't fucking think with you two yelling in my ear!” Donna declares her jittery hands, repeatedly, pressing the side of her ear. “My bad Ms.D,” you say lowering your tone. “See what the fuck you did now I'm getting yelled at,” you say going back to finishing pouring your wine. “I'm not yelling,” Donna says still chopping away “I'm sorry Ms. D I didn't mean like that I just meant, like getting in trouble,” you say looking at her for approval. “Mmh” she hums not looking up from the cutting more. You Hear Richie laugh followed by some corny dramatic claps. “what the fucks so funny?” you ask already annoyed by his presence. “I don’t know maybe watching, you cower, “sorry Ms. D, My bad Ms.D” Richie says laughing.

You stare at him, blank-faced for a minute before talking, “Did you think that was funny? Fak did you think it was funny fak?” you ask giving a knowing look. “No not really” Fak mumbles “Right, because it wasn't,” you say annoyed taking a big swig of your wine. “I thought it was funny,” Michael says

“of course, you thought that was funny Michael everything’s a fucking joke to you,” you say aggressively taking another sip of your wine. “Wow...really” you hear Riche says trying to egg Michael on. “Low blow” you hear fak humble you internally you cursed yourself for saying it but it was too late. “What’s that supposed mean y/n…” Michale says his tone serious “Do we have to do this?” you mumble downing the rest of your wine. “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!” Michael yells. “Nothing, nothing, I didn’t mean anything by it,” you say trying to calm down the situation and not laugh, something about Michael being mad was always really funny to you. You think it's because you knew he was never serious Michael could never stay mad at you. You bring your hand to your mouth trying to hold in your laughter and the wine but it only makes Michael angrier.

“What’s so fucking funny?”Michael says a small smile pulling at his lips as a result of yours but you can tell he’s still really upset. “Nothing,” you say shruging your shoulders trying to act nonchalant.

You glance over Donna and see her staring down at the pot in a daze tapping her finder on the edge of the counter. Before you could warn Michael to just leave it You see his eyes flicker down to the tin pan in your hand and it's like you see the idea pop into his head. “NO!-” you say before A loud familiar sound of the food timer going off triggering Donna. “GET THE FUCK OUT! ALL OF YOU GET THE FUCK OUT” Donna yells waving the knife around

You do as told bolting out of the kitchen with your pudding in hand. Michael follows close behind trying to catch up with you. You bump into some people as you run through the house like kids. You do your best to keep Michael at a distance and not drop the pan. He finally gets tired on your third lap around the house giving up when you run up the stairs. You laugh at his lack of stamina and you use the time to hide the pan in the empty closet in the hallway. Once you’re back downstairs you decide to sit on the couch to catch your breath.

You sit down on the plastic-covered couch next to a sleeping old lady and cousin Michelle. Stevie’s on the other side her along with Lee “What was that about?” Michelle asked with a small chuckle. As you get comfortable on the couch “I don’t even want to get into it” you say closing your eyes “Do you two fight every year?” Stevie asks leaning forward so he can see you better. “We didn’t fight last year,” you say with your eyes still closed.

“You weren’t here last year,” Stevie says scrunching up his face in confusion. “Well, I guess that answers your question,” you say while yawning. You open your eyes realizing you forgot to ask something. “Oh I almost forgot,” you say slowly lowering your voice

“Do you know who this is?” you mouth gesturing to the old lady next to you with her mouth wide open. You watch as Mitchell's gears turn as she tries to remember “I think that's my aunt” Michelle laughs blowing smoke out the side of her mouth. “Since when do you smoke without me?” you say plucking the blunt out of her hand taking a pull “Since you decided on playing tag with Micheal and left me with Dumb and Dumber,” Michelle says gesturing to Fak and his brother. “Oh no...what the fuck are they wearing?” you say blowing out smoke “It was bad enough on one,” you cough passing the blunt back to Michelle. “It's like the shining but worse” Michelle says, making you laugh

“So What’s up with you and cousin?” Michelle asks taking a pull. You let out a sigh mentally preparing yourself for the conversation. “Too much,” you say slouching slightly on the couch “At first it was good, I didn’t wanna ruin our friendship, but I liked Carmen. But I also wasn’t ready for a relationship And he didn't like labels and we liked each other so it seemed perfect. We'll just figure out our feelings together type shit, you know” you say making unnecessary hand motions. “Mmhh” cousin Michelle hums before taking another pull passing you the blunt. You take a pull before talking “But then you blink and it’s been 3 years and he still doesn’t want a relationship,” you say feeling your brain start to get cloudy.

“do you know this whole time you guys have been calling me Carm’s girlfriend we had never made it official, I was never actually his girlfriend,” you say annoyed “But you guys fucked right?” Michelle asks concerned “Of course we fucked, we fucked a lot…a concerning amount at one point…” Michelle slightly scrunches up her face in disgust “You asked!” you say in a high-pitched voice defending yourself

“Anyway,” you say shaking the memory out of your head, taking another quick puff before handing the bunt back. “Should we be smoking next to her?” You ask looking over at the old lady sleep mouth still open. “She’ll be fine…if anything were doing her a favor she’s like 103,” Michelle said taking a sip of her wine. “Really?” “Yep” “That’s insane, good for her,” you say nodding

“Anyway, I’m saying all of this to say, I’m ready for a real relationship and he's not. I love him to death cousin but I can’t anymore…” you say reaching for her cup of wine. “Is that why you didn’t come last year?” Michelle says passing the cup to you “That and, I love LA cousin…I love it. Chicago will always be my home but I just thrive in LA…and I don't do that here, you know?” you say taking a sip of her wine. “I get it, Princess, I'm happy you found somewhere away from all this shit. Just don't forget we're family, It might not be by blood but you’re still my baby cousin” Michelle says, making you laugh. “Always,” you say with a smile

You don't realize you’ve fallen asleep until you’re waking up to Michael’s voice. He’s sitting on an ottoman in the living room, with a gray blanket around his head like a Russian lady’s scarf. Telling the story of how you got your nickname, you sit up so you can hear better. You’ve heard this story a hundred times but you never got tired of listening to it because it was about you.

“And then this little girl with two puffs in her hair in a princess costume comes stomping up the porch steps demanding to see Carmen” Michale says while laughing making a stomping motion while sitting. You smile at his use of the word puffs, something he wouldn't know without you. “And of course, I'm confused I've never seen this kid before and she’s demanding things?” Michael says laughing “So I go to the door to tell her off and I kid you not, seven year old y/n looks me up and down and says, “I said Carmen” The whole living room chuckles including you. Your eyes drift behind Michael to the entrance of the room where Carmen is standing. Once The two of you lock eyes everyone’s voices begin to fade into the background and you can almost barely hear Michael talking about the stink attitude you had as a kid.

“Can we talk?” Carmen mouthes leaning against the entrance. You nod grudgingly and Carmy smiles slightly walking upstairs to his room. You follow behind him in silence internally, cursing yourself for agreeing. Once in his childhood bedroom, you sit awkwardly on the bed that you and Carmen share so many memories in, in your teenage years. “Soooo You wanted to talk?” you say looking around the room trying to avoid the awkward silence. “Um yeah…” Carmen says leaning against his old desk opening a box of cigarettes. “I uhhh…I wanted to say I'm sorry” Carmen says looking down, fidgeting with a cigarette “For all that shit I put you through, with the internship and all the arguing you didn't deserve that,” Carmen says bringing the cigarette to his lips. “I’m glad you finally realized that,” you say slightly irritated.

there's an awkward bit of silence while Carmen digs in his pocket for a lighter making you rethink your tone “I'm sorry…you’re trying to apologize which is rare so ill try to be less of an asshole” you say making Carmen chuckle “but Carmen I hope you know an apology isn't gonna make everything better” You say trying not to sound too much like an ass “then what will” Carmen mumbles “huh?” you ask barely able to hear him “what the fuck can I do to make it better y/n. I miss my best friend…I’v tried to call you, but you got me blocked -“ you cut him off quick “oh my god can cut the fucking act Carmen” you say shaking you head annoyed but his words. ”what act?” He asks his tone slightly rising

“Here you go..” you say rolling your eyes knowing he’s about to start yelling “WHAT FUCKING ACT-“ Carmen yells you cut him off “THE ACT WHERE YOU PRETEND TO ACTUALLY GIVE FUCK” says raising your voice this time. “You don’t get to pretend like all we had was a falling out and now your “ best friend” won’t answer your calls, Carmen you broke my heart… that's why you’re fucking blocked. I don’t want to speak to you! ” you yell feeling yourself get increasingly angry

“YOU FUCKING LEFT ME, I DIDN'T LEAVE YOU!” Carmen yells turning slightly red “YES BECAUSE WE WERN’T GOING ANYWHERE!” You yell “If it were up to you we would be friends with benefits until we're fucking 80!” Carmen goes silent which just makes you angrier “Yeah I’m done,” you say standing up to make your way to the door but are stopped by Carmen grabbing your wrist.

“ I still want us to talk,” he says pulling you away from the door and into him. It had been a long time since you had been that close to him and as much as you didn’t want to admit it you liked it. “What can we talk about that we didn’t already say” you say lowering your voice, the proximity making you slightly nervous.

Carmen’s eyes flicker down to your lips and then back to your eyes “Did I already tell you that I love you” Carmen knows what he's doing so he takes advantage of the situation dropping his grasp from your wrist to your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles soothingly. “It’s not happening Carmen,” you say stepping back while trying to pull your hand from his but he doesn’t let you out of his grasp. “Why not?” He ask pulling you back in the same position as before sounding oblivious to the argument you two had minutes ago. “Because it not gonna change shit, you're going to back to having a blast in New York and I'm gonna go back to doing what I was doing in LA,” you say trying to act unaffected by his touch. He suddenly lets go of your hand and you instantly miss the feeling. “What Do you think I’m doing in New York y/n?” Carmen asks anger slightly lacing his voice

You roll your eyes “So you’re trying to tell me you’re not enjoying yourself at all in New-“ Carmen quickly cut in “-No, no I’m not enjoying myself, I’m fucking miserable. I can’t sleep, I’m throwing

Up all the time-“It was your turn interrupt “ THEN WHY? WHY LEAVE, WHY EVEN FUCKING DO IT!” You yell your anger getting control over you “BECAUSE I CAN’T STAY HERE, MICHAEL DOESN’T WANT ME HERE YOU DON’T WANT ME!” Carmen yells then immediately tries to gain his composure “i dont see why I would stay” Carmen says wiping his face with a frustrated sigh. “I just miss you y/n…I know I would be better with you there” He says looking down at his hands with tired eyes. As much as you wanted to fight it, your heart ached at his words and your subconscious urged you to walk closer. You missed him desperately, and that little wif of his scent that you got earlier was enough for you to break.

Once you closed the gap between you too you started tenderly running your hand through Carmen’s hair like you used to like you used to. His shoulders relaxed and he looked up at you with slightly darker eyes swirling with sadness and desire. You knew what was going to follow and you hated the fact you yearned for it.

You don't know who started the kiss first but you knew it was hungry and passionate. In seconds Carmen had you on your back on the bed with his body on top of you. You two kissed each other like starved animals,” Fuck I missed this” Carmen huffs breaking the kiss to pull off his shirt. You almost moan at the sight of his newly grown muscles. “Prove it,” you say with a wicked smile creeping onto your lips. Carmen doesn't reply right away lips crashing back down on yours. Without breaking the kiss Carmen takes your hand and guides it down the front of his pants. where you feel his hard bulge through his jeans. You gasp at the feeling and you feel Carmen smile against your lips. “Is that proof enough?” he whispers into your ear making shivers run down your spine. Trying not to move too much you fumble with his belt buckle. After a couple of tugs, the belt comes undone and Carmen rips off his pants throwing them in a corner of the room

You pull up your dress bunching it at your waist so Carmen has easy access. He groans at your eagerness which makes your walls clench around nothing. He starts leaving kisses on your kneecap down to your inner thigh making you shiver. “I need to taste you” Carmen groans now looking up at you from between your thighs “We don't have time” you moan out as his kisses get closer and closer to your heat. “I work fast,” Carmen says pulling off your panties in one swift movement “fuck you're so wet” he groans ducking his head down between your thighs. You sink your hand into his hair pulling him up “I need you now!” you say sternly bringing his face closer to yours.

” How badly?”

He groans into your neck making your walls clench around nothing again. “Badly” you breathe out wrapping your arms around Carmen’s neck and pulling him closer. He lets out a low groan looking down between the both of freeing himself from his boxers. Lining himself up with your entrance he wastes no time pushing himself halfway inside you. You let out a loud moan and then quickly brought your hand to your mouth remembering his whole family was Downstairs. Carmen smiles at the reaction pushing himself all the way in. Which made Your eyes roll to the back of your head at the full size of him. you missed how it felt between the two of you when you fucked the LA dick just didn't compare.

“Fuck It’s like you got tighter” Carmen moans starting a steady pace, you wanted to reply but the feeling of him inside was too overpowering. His thrust became deeper and faster and you wonder if he was going to create a new record for how fast you’ve came. “DON’T STOP!” you moan loudly reaching your hand up to touch the headboard. “I won't, I won't ever stop” Carmen groans continuing his thrusts now circling your clit with his hand. You almost see stars at the added sensation “You're squeezing me so fucking tight” Carmen says trying to catch his breath. “Ooo I fucking hate you” you almost scream out feeling your release nearing. “You hate me?” he asks pressing his forehead against yours, you can’t vocally, respond so you know your nod, your head. “No, say it” Carmen groans angryly as he pounds into you. You breathe heavily and try to calm yourself “I hate- OH MY FUCKING GOD!” You cry, you try to gather the words but your orgasm hits you like a truck before you can finish. “If you hated me would have gotten this removed by now” Carmen huffs out dragging his finger over the heart tattoo with a C in it. positioned on the corner of your pelvic area that you got while drunk in college. Carmen keeps fucking you through your orgasm but by the way you're squeezing him you can tell he's not far behind. “I can’t fucking leave this” you hear him mumble before his thrust becomes sporadic. He's quiet until he's close to finishing pushing himself in deep as he can “fuck I'm cumming” Carmen says pumping his seed deep inside you.

~~~~

It's not long after that you quickly get up and put your clothes back on, As he got up to do the same there was an awkward silence that fell on the room. You had this sad feeling weighing on your shoulders and you didn't know how to explain it. but you knew you had to leave. You wonder if the dead silence in the room was actually, awkward or was it only like that because you felt awkward. When you went to the corner of the room to retrieve your panties Carmen finally spoke. “Is something wrong?” he asked slightly irritated with how you were acting. “No, I just don't want anyone to get suspicious,” you say plainly walking out the door now fully dressed leaving him by himself. You go to the bathroom to fix your hair and makeup waiting until you hear Carmen go downstairs before leaving. Once downstairs you sit back down on the couch next to Michelle.

“You smell like sex,” Michelle says leaning over into your ear. “Uggghh” you groan burying your head in your hands making her Laugh “Girl I fucked uppp,” you say face still in your hands. “What’s the issue you don't want to get back together with him?”Michelle asks trying to stifle her laughter. “No, not right now… I got too much shit going on right in LA to let him drag me to New York… And that” you say making a hand gesture upstairs “is gonna make him think I'm going with him” You say getting increasingly stressed. Michelle goes silent for a while before finally talking “You gotta tell him Princess” she says giving you a sad smile “You right I-”

You cut yourself off realizing that there’s a conversation going on around you. Quickly you gather that the conversation between Lee and Michael has become serious. “I’m sorry?” Michael asks confused “The story…we’ve heard it a million times,” Lee says gesturing to the people in the room “No Lee, like you have…and cousin has,” Michael says gesturing to Richie behind him, “I haven't” cousin Michelle says raising her hand “Me neither” you say raising your hand too even though you probably had “ I have but I like it” fak brother chimes in

“It's a good story,” Fak says nodding, trying to de-escalate the situation. “Yeah Lee chill out or fuck off let us tell the fucking story,” Richie says readjusting himself in the chair, annoyed “ANYWAYS, after finding the ATM-” Riche starts but is cut off by Lee “-no I’ll finish it. I’ll finish it! You sold the car and then at the end, you find the horse” Lee says with a proud shit-eating grin. “Ass hole” you mumble under your breath, shaking your head in annoyance. “Good for you Lee that's… that's great, you’re like a real genuine fucking asshole,” Michael says looking up at him annoyed. “B-Because I cut off the story you told a million times? Why don’t you finish your business plan?” Lee says well, moving the glass of whiskey back and forth in his hand. “Now You're doing too much,” you say followed by Richie “All right that’s enough!” Fiche says trying to end the conversation. “Come on, you're veering,” Michelle says trying to reason with Lee “Where's that tomato sauce prospectus, Michael?” he asks doubling down. “Come on Lee cut it” you try to say sternly seeing Michael stare off dazed in the distance. “Where’s the frozen pizza plan?-”

“What's wrong with you?” you ask watching Lee persistently poke “What's wrong with me? What's wrong with him h-” Michelle tries to cut him off again “You're veering!” she yells again trying to shut Lee up. “That's ahhh…. that’s enough,” Richie says uncomfortably glancing over at Michael. Uncle Jimmy, walks in a part of you relaxes hoping the conversation will lighten. “Hi unc,” Michelle says with a light voice, hoping to switch the vibe in the room. “Hey, hunny,” he says, with a smile. You give a small wave “Nice to see you princess” There’s an awkward beat of silence “fucks going on in here…” Jimmy says looking around the room.

“This jackoff talking shit,” Michael says looking down and you roll your eyes at the possibility of another argument “Which jackoff,” Unc asks readjusting his glasses “This jackoff,” Lee says pointing to himself. You had to physically stop yourself from saying “At least he knows it”

“What about jackoff?” Uncle Jimmy asks still confused. “About how like I don't finish shit…” Michael says starting to trail off “Not stories he finishes those…over and over,” Lee says with a drunk smile.

“Mikey, come on….” Uncle Jimmy says giving him a weak shrug. you know they’re right, but you can’t help but suck your teeth. Pete walks into the room sounding like Santa Claus talking about a tuna delivery with a square metal pan, in his hand. You physically cringe at the idea of it being fish “ Mikey what is up bro” Pete says smiling, repeatedly, tapping Michael on the shoulder in an awkward kid-like manner.

“You know it’s seven fishes right Pete?” Michael asks looking up at the metal pan in his hand. “Yeah… that's why I brought this” Pete says pointing to the pan with a smile. “That’s the eighth fish bro,” Michelle says knowingly. You don’t even chime in knowing poor Pete, was about to get chewed alive “What we can’t have one more?” he says smiling and looking around the room awkwardly. “That makes absolutely no sense. I can’t even figure out the logic of that” Lee says continuing to Dick eat. “What?” Pete says with an awkward laugh, looking around the room. “You're so fucked” Uncle Jimmy laughs giving him a tight-lipped smile.

Carmen walks into the room to tell everybody that dinner is ready “Family come on let’s sit Dinners ready!” Carmen says, clapping his hands trying to get everybody up. “HEY, no way carmy, what’s up brother?” Pete says putting his arm around Carmen awkwardly. “Hey, hey- woah woah woah, what is that? What is that?” Carmen says pointing to the metal pan in Pete's hand “Don't tell him” Michelle says from the couch You don’t say anything hoping Carmen didn’t notice you on the couch. “It's nothing, it's nothing,” Pete says trying to play it off. “S-stevie what is that, What is it?” Carmen asked Stevie from the couch “You’re going to be upset, but his heart was in the right place Carm” Stevie said, with a tight, lipped smile. “It’s a tuna casserole,” Lee says from behind Carmen and you actually have to stop yourself from laughing because he resembles a demon hiding over his shoulder like that. “It's seven fishes, Pete,” Carmen says and you can you can already tell he’s about to blow. “ I know….they didn’t communicate,” Pete says sadly ” This would make eight fishes, That- That would make us assholes right?” Carmen asked the vein in his neck starting to protrude the more he spoke. “Why are you doing this to me?” Carmen asks irritated

looking up at him. “Ok I-” Pete starts “DON’T LET HER FUCKING SEE IT,” Carmen says walking away. You feel a little bad after watching the scene unfold knowing that Carmen was probably taking out some of the anger you caused on poor Pete. You watch as Sugar greets Pete grabbing the tin pan from him and throwing it outside.

~~~~

Right before the dinner starts, you catch Michael in the hallway upstairs while you’re looking for the phone you left in Carm's room. “Hey Mikey,” you say giving him a slightly sad smile thinking of the conversation in the living room. “Hey sis,” Michael says with a smile like he's trying to hide the fact that he‘d been crying. The sad look on his face physically pains you and walk over to give him a big hug. “You know I love you to

the moon back right?” you say tightening the hug. You feel Michael nod and you smile. “Don’t let Lee piss you off, he was doing way too much” you say finally releasing him from the hug, walking over to the steps.

You sit on the top stair and gesturing for Michael to sit too. He does sit back some so you both can fit. “I'm not worried about that prick” Michael scoffs readjusting himself. “It's ok to be…he said some fucked up shit,” you say looking over at him. “I’m not though,” Michael says sternly. Silence fills the room for a moment as you carefully think your next words. “Michael I know You might think that no one sees you but I want you to know I do…” You look over at him for a response, He doesn’t say anything so you continue “ I'm not going to lie and act like I know what you’re struggling with…but I know you. And I know you’re hurting I-” he cuts you off “-I am fine princess I promise” Michael says, trying to laugh it off

“Michael I'm dead fucking serious,” you say looking him in his slightly glossy eyes. “ I don’t want to see the end up like my mom….I see it in you're eyes that fogginess, the sadness. I don't care what time of day it's or how you think I will see you, You fucking call me ok” you say feeling your eyes begin to well up with tears “shit I’m not supposed to be crying” you laugh wiping your tears and look up to see Michael eyes starting to do the same. “I just really don't want you to die,” you say trying to wipe your tears as you speak but they keep coming. Michael elopes you into a big hug “I'm not going anywhere Princess” he says his voice breaking slightly. You feel his warm tears drop on your shoulder and enjoy the fact that Michael feels secure enough to cry with you. When you two are done crying on each other Michael pulls back and you wipe your eyes with the back of your hand “You smell like sex” Michael says plainly causing you to laugh, small tears still dropping from your eyes. “Yeah me and Carmen…” you say trailing off “I gathered,” Michael says laughing hard which made you feel better.

You calm yourself down taking a deep breath before speaking “Well before I started crying, I was trying to tell you, if you ever miss me or need somewhere to crash or you even just want a change of scenery. You can come to visit me at My place in LA because….I'll be there permanently” you say nervously waiting for his reaction. “Do you like it over there?” Michael asks the corner of his lip twitching down. “Love it,” you say with a small smile. “Then I’m happy for you,” he says with a sad smile.

“You’re the first person I told,” you say letting out a sigh you didn’t know you were holding in. “Not even Carmy?” Michael asks raising his eyebrow. “Not even Carmy,” you say shaking your head. “Michael! Y/N WHERE WAITING!” you hear someone yell from downstairs. “ I meant what I said Michael call me, I sent you the address already,” you say sitting up, walking down the stairs to the dining room, “I’M SERIOUS!” you yell out from the bottom of the step.

Author note : GUYS FEEL FREE TO COMMENT I LOVE READING YALLS OPINIONS🤭

[buzzyb33]

Sleeping.

Prompt: After staying up later to finish an edit, chip tries to get into bed without waking up his girlfriend, not to his knowledge she wakes up as he mumbles his wholesome thoughts to her.

Warnings: short, FLUFF, mentions of y/n,

Stretching his arms above his head, he edits the recordings of all the boys splicing the sidemen among us into one perspective of the video, it was already two in the morning, he was just doing the final round then it was time for bed.

Running his hand through his already messy hair, he adjusts his headphones, fixing his posture.

“Just a minute..” he mumbles to himself, splicing the clips and colour coordinating the clips fine.

Chip smiles as he does a run through seeing if there’s any mistakes, adding his own little inside jokes to the wallet part of the admin card swipe, no shame in giggling to himself as he adds a photo of Baldski on KSI’s part and Ethan when fat on his.

Even giggling when he adds an old photo of ChrisMD in his braces and stupidly big ears.

He adds his own little effects and finally decides to finish the cut down in the morning.

Heading to the bathroom he brushes his teeth, shutting his eyes as he accidentally obnoxiously stumbles next to his girlfriend, the mattress groaning under his weight as he wraps his arms around me.

“Love you..”

He says quietly, tightening his grip on her waist.

Getting frustrated with the fact he now can’t sleep even after struggling to keep his eyes open why not talk himself to sleep.

I shift slightly, mumbling out a quick: “Joshua..”

He clearly doesn’t hear me from all of his shuffling around.

After some silence I hear his voice again.

“You’re the best.. thing that’s even happened to me.. sometimes the boys call me names but- I don’t care.. I love you.”

He nuzzled into my neck as I keep my breath soft, he thinks I’m fast asleep.

“Struggle to show it sometimes.. we’re both busy..” he hums.

He holds me tighter as his breaths grow deeper.

The next morning, I wake up first and feel soft.

I wasn’t really used to such praise but as I look at his sleeping face I feel even more In love.

I climb out of bed and make two cups of coffee, mine with cream and one sugar and his with two sugars and more cream, his more frothy.

I smile as I hear heavy footsteps and soon strong arms around my waist.

“Sleep okay?” He asks, leaving over to kiss my jaw and then taking his coffee, looking down at me with tired eyes.

“Yeah.. I did.. you?” I say softly, looking up at him, feeling fuzzy.

He nods.

“Somewhat..”

I get on my tiptoes and kiss his lips.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me..” I say with a small smile and my hands finding in his shoulders.

He smiles and scratches his neck.

“You.. too..” he clears his throat and kisses my forehead.

“You should be more quiet, josh..” I smile and his eyes flick to confusion to shock to embarrassment.

A/n:

I wanted to do a fluffy fluff you know? Anyway.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

Masterlist!

[echo-goes-mmm]

Ambrose and Elliot #23

Masterpost

Previous

Next

Warnings: implied past non-con

Ambrose was up earlier than him, and the entire downstairs smelled like cinnamon and sugar.

“Good morning, love. Help me with this? Go on, have a taste.” He gestured to a bowl on the counter. Elliot grabbed a spoon and tasted it. It was amazing, warm caramel and nutmeg swirled together.

“Alright?” Elliot nodded, licking his lips, and Ambrose laughed at him a little. But he didn’t mind. Master Ambrose had a kind laugh, not like others he heard.

“Would you mind making more flowers after you’ve had breakfast? I’ve got my hands full with pies at the moment.”

“I don’t mind.”

Elliot grabbed the basket of fabric scraps and got to work as he ate. 

He tied the flowers with twine, making roses the best he could. Elliot couldn’t remember making flowers for the solstice before, but his hands somehow knew what to do.

That couldn’t be right. He’d never been allowed to join until this year, but that didn’t sound right either.

At some point he’d done this before, but when? 

He munched on his apple and finished the string of roses.

“Thanks, love.”

He helped Master Ambrose hang them up above the doorway. 

“The party starts at seven. Plenty of time for people to get supper before coming,” he explained as they hauled up a cask of wine. “And plenty of time to have some fun before midnight.”

“What’s at midnight?”

“Bedtime,” winked Master. “I’ll be too tipsy to be up longer than that.”

Elliot wasn’t sure what Ambrose was like when he was drunk, but it couldn’t be worse than his old master and his friends.

After the decorations were made, there were cookies to be baked. Gingerbread, soft butter cookies, chewy chocolate chip, jam-filled, and even a chocolate thumbprint cookie with silky ganache. The ganache ones were his favorite.

And after the cookies were cool and the oven aired out, there were breads to be cut, cheeses to slice, and fruit to wash.

Elliot and Ambrose ate the leftover cookie dough and crusted bread and small uneven bits of cheese and fruit. It was work, but simple, easy work, and Master Ambrose didn’t mind if he messed up on purpose for a bit more cheese and sweets.

Seven came faster than he expected, but he was excited for it. Or was it fear? Both, maybe.

___________________

The party was going well. It was an open invitation of course; he wouldn’t exclude anyone from showing up. At least not explicitly. 

James was still banned, but there were more cheerful things to do than think about spoiled brats.

Ambrose looked over to see Elliot. He was chatting with Katie, or rather she was chatting with him, and there was a genuine smile on his face.

He took a sip of wine. Good.

The drinking games went well, but Elliot refrained from alcohol and sipped on water instead. Fair enough. The boy even won two games, and Ambrose was pleased to see him having such a good time.

Ambrose tapped his fingers, his mind going a bit fuzzy. He didn’t care much for getting drunk, but the softness of a glass or two of wine was pleasant enough.

And he wanted some liquid courage anyway; the party was winding down and soon he would give Ellie his present.

He wasn’t quite sure what to get him at first. Elliot was a reserved man, and even a taste of caramel was the best thing in the world to him.

He was hard to buy for. What to get for a man who loved everything and never spoke about wanting?

Ambrose thought about the gift he wrapped up. It seemed fitting weeks ago, but now he wasn’t sure.

He glanced at the grandfather clock. An old solstice present from J- no that wasn’t important- eleven o’clock.

Might as well make it now.

He went upstairs and got the box from his shelf.

“Ellie,” he called. “I, um, got you something.”

Elliot’s eyes lit up and he offered him the box.

“For me?”

“Uh huh.”

Elliot carefully pulled the ribbon, and painstakingly unfolded the paper so it didn’t tear. He opened the lid, and he smiled wider than Ambrose had ever seen.

He lifted the bear out of the box.

___________________

Master had gotten him a present. He sort of already knew he had, but seeing the box really made it sink in.

The bear was perfect, soft and plump with stuffing, shiny black button eyes and brown fur. There was even a scarlet ribbon around its neck.

“Do you like it?”

“I love him,” he whispered. He hugged it tight, and it was just right. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” 

“Oh!” He ran upstairs, put the bear carefully in his bed, and grabbed the two packages.

___________________

Elliot had gotten him two gifts. A kettle and a teapot, both of which he needed but never took the time to buy. 

Ellie was so thoughtful. He teared up a little; Ambrose blamed the wine.

It was eleven-thirty, and everyone was gone to their own homes.

“We’ll clean up tomorrow,” he said. “I’m too tired to worry about it now.”

The door opened, and Ambrose turned. But instead of someone he recognized, it was a stranger. Clearly a traveler. 

“I’m looking for a room,” he said. 

“Of course. Name please?” Ambrose pulled out the record book from behind the counter. “And how many nights?”

“Horneswood. Two nights. And I’ve already eaten, no need to trouble yourself.”

“Very well.” Ambrose noted down the stay, and took the payment. “This way, if you please.”

___________________

Elliot ducked into the kitchen. It was only a glance, but he knew that man.

Knew him as well as Master Ambrose’s kind hand, knew him as well as his old master’s whip. Elliot knew him; his whole body knew him.

Mr. Horneswood, one of his old master’s friends.

And he was staying for two nights.

taglist: @cupcakes-and-pain @secretwhumplair @paintedpigeon1 @whump-blog @whump-em @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @starfields08000 @littlespacecastle @mylovelyme @whump-cravings @zeewbee @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @keepingwhumpwiththekardashians @fanastyfinder @roblingoblin285 @whumpzone @snakebites-and-ink @astrokea @magdalena-writes

[diabolikk-loverss23]

Breaking your leg pt. 2 with Mukamis

♧ RUKI ♧

-"Really livestock?"

-He takes care of you at least... because he sees you as an animal

-He secretly loves taking care of you though 😗

You were walking down the stairs at school when you twisted your ankle at the last step. "Ow..sh- wait.. Ruki I think I twisted it.." Ruki stopped and looked at you with his piercing glare, "Really livestock... you can't even go down the stairs?" You blushed in embarrassment, "I'm sorry-" Ruki cut you off. "If you want my help, then you should ask your master for it, right?" Your whole face turned red and the pain in your ankle was suddenly not on your mind at the moment. You tried to answer, but your flusteredness was affecting your speech. "Well livestock?" Looking at the floor, you quietly said "Please help me m-master..." A sly smirk crossed his face as he effortlessly picked you up and headed to the limo. You were extremely flushed from the looks you were getting from the others.

♧ KOU ♧

-"My poor little kitten!!!"

-"I'll take care of you if you take care of me...."

-definately babies you.

It was lunchtime at school, and Kou had his entourage around him as usual. You kept your distance because they had some weird claim over him. Anyways, as you were walking past his table, one of them tripped you, causing you to fall on the floor covered in your lunch. Panic filled your body when you realized you couldn't get back up. Pushing his fangirls away, Kou arose and had fake worry written his face. "Oh no~ my poor little kitten! Are you okay?" Your face twisted in pain as you looked at your swollen ankle, "Y-yeah.. I think I just twisted it.." Kou let his mask drop a little before picking you up like you weighed nothing. "I'll be back, my little kittens! I have to get the clumsy cutie to the nurses' office!" As he was walking away, you looked over his shoulder at the disappointed girls starting up random gossip. He was humming softly as he carried you through the corridor to the nurses' room. "Kou, you didn't have to do that..." Placing you on the little gray table, he laughed, "Oh, don't worry, little maso-kitty~ I'll make sure you repay me~" You noticed his sweet smile turned to a sadistic one as he leaned in and bit your shoulder.

♧YUMA♧

- Laughs his ass off

-"Hahaha little pig stop your squealing... this is what happens when you're this weak."

- didn't even help you right away... he went to get his sugar cubes so he could have a snack and a show..

Helping Yuma in his garden was something you did regularly. Whether that'd be watering the plants, pruning the leaves, or digging holes; you still loved helping all the same. On rare occasions, he'd even reward you for your hard work. However, this particular time, your clumsiness got the best of you when you tripped over a pot in his green house. You hesitantly called out Yuma's name to no avail... so you did the next best thing. Crawled. You crawled all the way to the middle of the garden and stopped to take a breather. You looked over and saw Yuma's polished shoe in front of you. Trailing your gaze upward, you saw Yuma looking down at you with the biggest grin on his face as he popped another sugar cube in his mouth. "Poor little piggy... I heard you sqeaul earlier hehe.. what happened?" You embarrassingly fiddled with a leaf on the ground before mumbling out how you tripped over a pot. That sent him over the edge. He started laughing so hard at you that he nearly choked on a cube he had in his mouth. "Shit, little pig, how weak and stupid are you? Hahahaha-" You knew not to let his words get to you, but for some reason, they did sting this time.. "C-can you just help me out, please..." This wasn't good... you felt tears pricking at your cheeks, and the last thing you wanted to do was cry in front of him. Yuma stopped when he heard your quiet sniffle. He knealed down and placed his cool hand on your face, lifting it up to look at him. He had an amused smirk written on his face as he wiped off one of your tears. "I almost feel sorry for you, piggy. Say ahhh~" You were humiliated, but you did what he said nonetheless. He popped a sugar cube in your mouth before leaning in and giving you a kiss. The sugar cube melted between the heat of your kiss. He pulled away and then picked you up. "Consider that a reward for calling for your master to help you~ Now let's get you all fixed up."

♧AZUSA♧

-"oh... no, are you... hurt? Did... the pain feel... good?"

-"Hurt me... too..."

-helps you but wants you to take out some of the pain on him as well.

Azusa was practically glued to you, and you didn't really mind... until you tripped over his foot from him being too close on the stairs. Falling down at least six steps, you landed directly on your leg and heard the most sicking crack ring through the silence. You immediately let out the most blood-curdling scream as you held your leg. Azusa looked down and saw your swollen leg. He ran his hand over it, "Wow. .. eve... it's burning... up..." You whimpered slightly at his touch, "Azu.. can you help me please -" It felt hard to breathe from the pain of your fall; the muscles in your leg were on fire. "Of course... eve.. any... thing for you..." Surprisingly, he was able to pick you up and carry you to Ruki's room so they could take you to the hospital. "Eve...? Do you... think you can hurt me.. like that... too?" He looked down at your face with puppy dog eyes only to see you passed out from the pain. Turns out you broke your leg in 3 places. Incredible.

[chemical-killjoy]

Hai!

Can you do Roommates AU with Gerard and Female!Reader?

OK so this is suuuuuper fluffy and kind of got away from me... anyway, let me know if you want a more *intimate* and fluffy part 2

Pancake Prince

“Uuuuuugh,” you grumbled, leaving the safety of your bedroom and flopping face down on the lounge in the living room to your apartment. It was a hot night, and you were in your favourite pyjama shorts and singlet, but that was the great thing about sharing an apartment with your bestie: you could do what you want, wear what you want... Even if it was pyjamas at 4 in the afternoon.

Gerard laughed, pausing the TV.

“What's up, sugar? Rough night?” Gerard asked with a smirk.

“Nugh-uh,” you agreed into the fabric of the seat. You sat up.

“I remember it all,” you said, in a dramatic voice, sweeping your arms out wide. “Actually, come to think of it, I can't remember past Daisy dropping me off outside our building.”

Gerard laughed. “Yeah, figures. Care for a refresher?”

“Do I really wanna know?”

“Good question,” Gerard said with a devilish smirk. “Let's see. You called me, forgot we were on the phone, complained about not being able to find a way inside our own fuckin' house, and then I had to hauled you inside after you passed out.” Gerard left off the part about helping you change into your pyjamas, tucking you in, and making sure you were OK until he fell asleep himself. He didn't want to creep you out or anything.

“Of course I did.” You said, face-palming. “Well, thank you, my hero.”

“Prince.” Gerard replied seriously, without missing a beat.

“What?”

“I prefer prince, actually.”

“Wha- Why? What are you the prince of Gee?” You indulged him, cackling at the unexpected joke.

“Pancakes,” He replied, face and tone serious, humour displayed only in his eyes.

“And why is that?”

“Step into my office!” Gerard declared, dramatically strutting to the kitchen.

You hummed as you smelt the pancakes and freshly cut fruit the second you walked into the kitchen.

“Damn, you're not the prince, you're the king!” You said, squeezing Gerard in a quick hug and grabbing a plate.

“Yeah but Pancake King doesn't have the same ring, does it?” Gerard asked.

“True, true. So what's the occasion?” You asked.

“Well, I thought you might need a pick-me-up after yesterday,” Gerard spoke gently, rubbing the back of his neck.

And then you remembered why you went out drinking last night.

“Aah, fuck me!” You whined, and flopped to the kitchen floor. Yesterday was a spectacular level of shit, in which you lost both your job and found out the guy you'd been hoping to ask out (finally gaining the courage after a few months) was, in fact, taken.

“Well, at least let me take you to dinner first!” Gerard said, joining you on the floor.

“I mean, at this point, I'd be happy to just slut it out. Like, show interest in me and fine. I'm just sick of this shit. Maybe I'm just unlovable? I'm like...” you looked around. “I'm like that tissue over there. Beside the bin. I couldn't even make it to the bin.”

Gerard knew you too well to let you succumb to your own stupid, dramatic sad spiral.

“Baby, please, you're more than the tissue. You're the whole bin!” You gasped and slapped his arm, both of you laughing. You couldn't help but blush a little at the nickname.

“C'mon, you know you're too good for him anyway. And who needs a guy when you have me? And pancakes?” Gerard pointed up at the pancakes. “And jobs are just conforming to the man. We don't endorse that.”

You smirked at your best friend. “I mean you're right. I may be desperate for touch and affection but who needs a boyfriend when I have you? A boyfriend without the perks?”

“I am the perks, I made pancakes!” Gerard gasped, hand on chest in fake shock.

“Yeah, you're pretty perky.”

“Fuck you, you know I'm prickly, you're the one who's perky.” Gerard's eyes went to your chest and back up, teasing in more ways than one.

“Don't bring your prick or my tits into this, Pancake Prince.”

“That's King Pancake to you.”

“What does that make me?”

Gerard snorted before he could get his own joke out.

“What?!” you demanded, all smiles as you playfully slapped his arm again.

“Hungry!” Gerard declared, falling over laughing. You continued your gentle assault on his arm as he playfully fought back, until the two of you were side by side on the floor, stomachs sore with laughter. When you caught your breath, you looked over at your friend and smiled.

“I am pretty hungry, actually.” you said, with a soft smile.

“Mmm?” Gerard asked. “Hungry, or thirsty?” he said with a wink.

“Little of both,” you said with a shrug, leaning into Gerard... Then putting your hand on his chest and pushing yourself to your feet. You offered Gerard your hand to help him up, but once you were both up, he didn't let go of your hand.

“What?” you asked, head tilted to the side.

“You really don't remember any of last night, huh?” Gerard said, softly, the playful glint in his eyes turning a little... anxious?

You furrowed your brows. “No, why? Did I do something? I'm really sorry if I did.”

When Gerard didn't say anything, you spoke again.

“Gee, what happened?”

“Look, I don't wanna make you uncomfortable with this, but you kind of said something that maybe made it sound a little bit like you possibly-”

“Fuck, just tell me!” You interrupted.

But Gerard continued as though you hadn't, “-love me. As more than a friend.”

You stared at him blankly. He stared at you, hand still in yours.

“I didn't want to freak you out so I was gonna tell you over pancakes, cause I know my best friend's favourite breakfast. I dunno, I'm sorry, maybe I heard wrong or you were just drunk or something, but I thought lately about how we've both been super flirty and I kinda thought that maybe...” Gerard trailed off, looking at you.

“I wasn't just drunk.” You said, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I, um. I realised I've been pushing aside my feelings for you, I guess I must've just babbled it out.”

“You did seem pretty adamant for a girl who was struggling to take your shoes off.”

You snorted at that and a thought crossed your head. “Did you dress me in my jammies?”

“That's what's most important to you right now?”

“I don't know, I just think it was just super sweet of you. We both know I would've destroyed that dress if I tried to sleep in it.” You thought of the skin tight faux-leather and how it'd tear, or strangle you in your sleep... not fun.

“You know I feel the same, right?” Gerard said, pulling you a little closer and disrupting your thoughts. “I don't make just anyone pancakes, y'know.”

You scrunched up your nose. “We're those idiots, aren't we?”

You and Gerard would spend many nights, coming home from work half-dead, and become immovable couch potatoes, eating Chinese take-away and watching cheesy movies. And of those movies, half were horror (Gerard's pick) and half were rom-coms (your pick). You were always screaming at the TV about how the characters should just know they're in love with each other and talk it out. Gerard always agreed with you but was too busy watching you get invested to really see what was happening in the movie.

Gerard just nodded.

“Oh, fuck that,” you said, pulling Gerard toward you and kissing him. Gerard pulled you closer then rested his forehead against yours.

“Y/N... I have something to tell you...” Gerard looked deeply into your eyes. “If we're gonna do this...,” he turned his head, and you felt anxiety grow in your stomach. “You're gonna need to brush your teeth.”

“Get fucked!” You screeched as Gerard laughed. “Fine, fine! But you have to decorate some pancakes for me while I do, OK, King Pancake?”

Gerard bowed deeply, waving a hand. “As you wish, my queen.” Then he kissed you on the forehead and pushed you towards the bathroom. You smiled as you brushed your teeth, excited for this new beginning.

Taglist: @fandomfoodiedancer @niche-bitch @fedorable-killjoys @smiling-girl

[amethystina]

Girl you're calling that a sex scene? That was the ART OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. You are the best at what you do and I'm sorry I know I'm shameless but your fic got me thinking, understanding the boys as good as you do, how do you think Yo Han would react if he got some indications or evidence that Ga On is cheating on him? Not that I'll ever believe Ga On to be capable of it, but I'm just wondering if some signs pointed that way, what do you think Yo Han would do or think?

I have to say, this ask nearly gave me a heart attack x'D Because the notification only said: "Girl you're calling that a sex scene? That was" before it cut off, so I definitely had time to start panicking, wondering just how terrible that sex scene must have been. A part of me didn't even want to open the ask x'D

It was fine once I did, obviously, but man, I was scared there for a second.

ANYWAY. I think Yo Han's reaction depends on how long they've been together. And also what kind of hints and evidence he's seeing, of course, but his actions depend mostly on how long they've been together and how secure he feels in their relationship.

Like, I think that after a couple of years, once they've gotten settled, gotten better at communicating, and Yo Han has learned that no, he won't actually end up devouring Ga On because Ga On has enough darkness of his own to withstand whatever Yo Han can throw at him, he'll calm down significantly. He'll realise that Ga On doesn't want someone else and, even if Ga On did, he's bold enough to just flat-out say that. He wouldn't go behind Yo Han's back and cheat — he'd tell Yo Han to his face that he's found someone else and wants to separate.

Not that Ga On ever would, but he's too honest and righteous to sneak around and lie, basically.

So, like, after a certain point, even if they ended up in the cliché, dramatic scenario where Ga On comes home with lipstick on his shirt collar, Yo Han's first thought wouldn't be: "Are you cheating on me?" but rather: "Did someone try to assault you?"

Quickly followed by: "Who is she?" and "Where does she live?"

Yo Han, NO.

And when Ga On explains that he was just trying to help a drunk woman get a taxi home and she collapsed against him as they were waiting and must have smudged lipstick on his collar as she did so, Yo Han would just go: "Yeah, that checks out. That's definitely something Ga On would do — and much more reasonable than him cheating on me."

(Partly also because Yo Han kind of expects that if Ga On truly was cheating on him, despite all odds, he would be much better at hiding the evidence. He trained his sugar baby better than that, okay?)

But if it's earlier in their relationship? When Yo Han still thinks that he's going to suffocate or scare Ga On away? And Ga On hasn't learned to open up yet? So he won't tell Yo Han what he's feeling and thinking? Then things might develop differently — and can turn quite ugly, unfortunately.

Like, it can start with something as simple as Ga On being tired. Perhaps work is being difficult — forcing him to stay late a lot — and maybe it's getting close to the anniversary of Soo Hyun's death and Ga On is closing himself off more than usual. But Ga On doesn't want to bother Yo Han with something as silly as him being tired, or reawaken the jealousy Yo Han feels towards Soo Hyun, so he just doesn't say anything. And tells white lies when Yo Han asks if something is wrong. But Yo Han would notice that Ga On starts brushing him off, is home less often, and probably isn't as physically affectionate as he usually would be.

And once the thought that Ga On might be cheating on him appears, it'd be difficult for Yo Han to let it go. He'd probably push it aside at first, with the very reasonable explanation that, no, Ga On is too honest and good for something like that. But it would resurface the next time Ga On brushes him off, and get even worse when Ga On seems tense and a little awkward when he hugs Yo Han — as if he's feeling uncomfortable.

Or guilty.

And Ga On is feeling guilty, because he's missing Soo Hyun and he knows that Yo Han wouldn't like that if he knew. And so Ga On clams up even more, refusing to talk about it. But Yo Han would assume it's because of something else — something even worse.

And, sadly, once the suspicion gains hold, I think Ga On would be guilty until proven innocent in Yo Han's mind. Because Yo Han is never wrong, right? So, clearly, it's just a matter of finding the evidence. And so he'd try to find said proof by invading Ga On's privacy, having him followed and investigated — all that unacceptable shit Yo Han does. Because now Yo Han has something to prove and he'd lose sight of the fact that, in doing so, he might just be causing an even bigger problem that will, sooner or later, blow up in his face. He'd lose himself to the hunt.

Because it's not like there will ever come a time when he goes: "Okay, I've had Ga On followed for three weeks now and he hasn't done anything, that probably means he's not cheating on me." It'd be: "He just hasn't slipped up yet."

On pure habit, he'd start treating Ga On like a target — like someone he has to expose.

And since Yo Han can't exactly talk to Ga On about this — who is now one of the few people who'd try to hold Yo Han back when he crosses the line (R.I.P. K, we miss you) — there's literally nothing stopping him. And so it just becomes a question of what happens first: Ga On figuring out that Yo Han is having him followed for some reason, Ga On catching Yo Han invading his privacy, or Ga On getting unsettled enough by Yo Han's behaviour to ask what the hell is going on.

Because Yo Han wouldn't be able to just keep behaving normally. He's a good actor, yes, but Ga On knows the difference between Yo Han's genuine affection and when he's trying to fake it. And Yo Han has to start faking it after a while, once his doubts grow strong enough. Because it's difficult to keep giving it your all when you think your partner is cheating on you.

And Ga On would be able to tell when Yo Han starts acting weird. But there's also a danger that he might assume that it's because Yo Han has figured out what's going on with Ga On. As in, Ga On thinks that the displeasure he's picking up on is lingering jealousy over Soo Hyun, not this new threat that Yo Han has conjured up in his mind. Because the day Soo Hyun died is a date both of them know, and all that. So, maybe, Ga On wouldn't actually say anything at first, afraid that would just make Yo Han more agitated.

Meanwhile, Yo Han would be so goddamn confused because he really didn't think Ga On was this good of an actor. Because despite a bit of awkwardness, Ga On is still mostly himself, not showing nearly as much guilt as Yo Han had expected. Yo Han is surprised that Ga On can act that well.

(It's because he's not acting, you pickled cucumber)

So, most likely, I'd say that it all comes to a head when Yo Han gets caught snooping. Either because Ga On figures out that, yes, he truly is being followed, or catches Yo Han looking through his phone or something. And the resulting argument would, uh, not be pretty.

Because even if some part of Ga On could probably see that Yo Han's actions are mostly founded in insecurities — Yo Han thinking he doesn't deserve Ga On, being sure he'll scare him away eventually, thinking Ga On can easily find someone better, etc. — it's also incredibly painful to hear that Yo Han thought he'd do something like that. Like, I think Ga On could forgive the invasion of privacy and light stalking relatively easily, but the fact that Yo Han genuinely thought he'd cheat on him? That his trust in Ga On and Ga On's devotion to him is apparently that weak?

That hurts.

And, sure, Yo Han's doubts are understandable to some degree but, as per usual, it's the way he chooses to act on them that's the biggest problem. Instead of having Ga On followed like a criminal, he should have just asked to have an adult conversation about it.

Not at all helped by the fact that Yo Han would, of course, get defensive when Ga On points this out, and insist that he had very good reasons because Ga On was behaving so weirdly. Which of course means that Ga On has to explain why that is, and then Yo Han does end up feeling jealous over the whole Soo Hyun thing again, but also kind of terrible because Ga On has been suffering for weeks and he didn't notice. Like, jealousy and all that aside, Yo Han still loves Ga On with every fibre of his being and wants to protect him from everything that can hurt him — including the lingering grief after Soo Hyun's death. Ga On shouldn't suffer, period.

And it's not until after he's had that thought that Yo Han suddenly realises just how badly he's fucked up. Because Ga On would definitely be crying by then, in between the angry yelling. Like, Yo Han only has to look at him and see how devastated Ga On is, and then he'd realise that's all on him. It's Yo Han's fault.

He did that.

And, in that moment, Yo Han would also realise that he isn't immune to the concept of self-fulfilling prophecies. Since, in all the time he and Ga On has been together, this is definitely the closest he's actually come to scaring Ga On away. Because Ga On would, at the very least, move out of their shared bedroom for a while after that. If he still has his apartment, he might even go so far as to return there, too hurt and humiliated to stay at the house.

(Let's hope Elijah is somewhere else — exploring the world or something — because, otherwise, she would smack the everloving shit out of Yo Han)

And so they would both be miserable for a while and, not so surprisingly, Yo Han would feel terrible. Like, that man would spiral, probably faster than he ever has in his entire life. Because, understandable trauma and insecurities aside, this is his fault. The situation got out of hand because of his choices. And Yo Han can't say for sure if Ga On will be able to forgive him.

Meanwhile, Ga On has the dubious benefit of being the wronged party. Which, in theory, means you'll be hurt and angry, but don't have to take the blame onto yourself quite as much. Or at least it would — unless you're Kim Ga On. Whose abandonment issues run so deep he's rivalling the Mariana Trench. He'd of course begin to wonder if, just maybe, it's his fault. Maybe this happened because of something he did. He must have done something to make Yo Han doubt him that much.

And, tragically, that's probably what will eventually make him reach out to Yo Han again. Because Yo Han certainly won't try to approach Ga On but, for once, it'd be more out of guilt than pride.

And he'd be wary — then horrified — when Ga On comes to him and instead of being angry, Ga On is just sad and subdued and asks what he did wrong. What did he do to lose Yo Han's trust? Should he have been kinder? Less abrasive? Less angry? What can he do to earn it back?

Had he made Yo Han feel unloved? Neglected? Unappreciated?

Or was the love Ga On had to give simply not enough?

Should he give Yo Han more? Try harder? Be less of a burden?

And Yo Han would shatter.

Because there is not a single part of Yo Han that sees Ga On as a burden. And of course Ga On's love is enough. It's literally impossible for Ga On to give more than he already is.

It would break Yo Han's heart, especially since he can tell how desperate Ga On is. That if Yo Han told him that, yes, he has to try harder, Ga On would. Ga On would do whatever it took to try and fix this problem he now thinks he's the cause of. And, what's worse, Yo Han knows he could use that to push the blame away from himself. If Yo Han wants to spare his own pride and come out the victor, all he has to do is let Ga On believe it's his fault. And it would be so easy, since Ga On is already halfway there, all on his own. Ga On wouldn't even argue.

Suddenly, Yo Han has to make a choice between his own pride — his own kneejerk reaction to never admit to a fault, never appear weak, and never surrender — and Ga On's well-being.

And the only thing Yo Han has to guide him is his own sense of morals.

Which, as we all know, are not only questionable but, a lot of the time, entirely optional.

He'll obviously pick Ga On's well-being in the end — he loves him too much not to — but Yo Han hates himself for even considering the other option. Never mind that it's based on childhood trauma and years of abuse, Yo Han hates that his first instinct is to save himself, at Ga On's expense. That realisation, more so than admitting he's done wrong, makes him feel weak.

(... many of these answers are just (unintentionally) turning into various ways to make Yo Han break for some reason?)

And, to be entirely honest with you, I can't say exactly what Yo Han's reaction and actions would be without writing it in detail and following his thoughts more closely. Mainly because there are a couple of options and which one it ends up being will depend on literally the smallest shift in his and Ga On's expressions and mannerisms.

But what I can say is that it would be a struggle for him, both to find his words and keep his emotions in check.

And he would cry.

In that way we've seen him do in the drama, where his emotions overwhelm him to the point where not even he can stop them from spilling over. So not violently or anything — he'd try to talk through it, pretending it's not happening — but he would cry. Because he'd feel so wretched over how far he's accidentally pushed Ga On. Like, forcing Ga On to the point where he'd go: "Should I be less angry? Should I give you more? Will you love me then?" is exactly what Yo Han has always criticised Soo Hyun and Professor Min for. And now he's done it himself.

But, thankfully, that also means he's going to be pretty damn motivated to fix this. Sure, some part of him might feel that, maybe, he should just let Ga On go if this is what happens when Yo Han is left to his own devices, but he's a little too selfish for that. And, deep down, he knows that Ga On wouldn't actually want Yo Han to let go.

So they would Talk.

And it would be awkward and kind of stilted for them both, but, in the long run, they both love each other too much not to. And sure, the pain and doubts wouldn't magically go away, but they'll keep working on it. And, if nothing else, the whole disaster will teach them just how important it is to communicate — even if the issue might seem small at first glance.

Like, yes, Yo Han shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and gone to the lengths that he did, but if Ga On had been a bit more open, maybe Yo Han wouldn't have. That's not to say it was Ga On's fault — Yo Han was the one to blame — but it could have been avoided if Ga On hadn't tried to keep his suffering to himself.

Communication is key, and all that.

SO YEAH.

Something like that.

There is also a middle option that would probably happen when they are, unsurprisingly, somewhere in between these two scenarios. As in, they've been together for a while so Yo Han feels a bit more secure (and his Abyss tendencies have softened a bit), but not secure enough to just brush it off. Then I think he would be tempted to have Ga On followed and that whole shebang but, after some thinking, he'd realise how much Ga On would hate that. And, eventually, he decides to just ask Ga On instead.

And Ga On will look at him and go: "I'm sorry, what? And give you a reason to start planning another unhinged, ten-year-long revenge plot?"

Which, Yo Han can admit — fair point.

And then they'd actually talk it through, too, and Yo Han can (grumpily) explain why he's feeling insecure and Ga On can (patiently) explain why he doesn't have to. And smother Yo Han with little kissies until he stops being such an idiot.

... at this point, I'm basically writing fics in these answers, aren't I? x'D

AH WELL. Thank you so much for your kind words (even if they gave me a scare) and thank you for the interesting question! Clearly, I had a lot to say on this subject.

Take care! 💜

[inaconstantstateofchange]

back at you though, drinks edition? a type of drink you couldn't do without, that is your go to for any occasion? give us the specific deets, recipe if needed

oh no you've activated my trap card i love drinks

okay so special occasion drink: brown sugar boba (50% ice 50% sweet) but specifically from the tea shop close-ish to my house. it's expensive so i don't go often but holy shit. they use actual proper tea and fresh-as-hell boba and it's just. it's so good, i think anything from there would be insanely worth it (but i've never bothered to branch out from perfection).

my daily bev: i can't be too specific on brand without lowkey doxxing myself a tad, but there's a local company that does this flavored black tea with cornflower, raspberry, red plum petals, and blueberry, and it's just. it's incredible. mellow and rich and lightly (but not overwhelmingly) floral and fruity. i have it every single day and i'm convinced it is the perfect tea.

and two other faves because you asked for recipes:

strawberry (cheong) lemonade: okay so this is more effort than truly necessary, but i went to one of those u-pick strawberry places last summer and then the cultivar fucking sucked so they weren't even good, so i made cheong with them, which is a korean fruit syrup/preserve you make by layering equal amounts of fruit and sugar in a jar and letting them sit (i put them in the fridge just to be safe) for a few weeks.

the end result is preserves that you can blend into a bangin' spread and a fruit syrup that is like the nectar of the fucking gods. i didn't think it would make a huge difference doing it that way rather than a typical heat-based reduction, but it tastes like fresh strawberries. you don't lose any of that to it breaking down via heat treatment, so similar to the difference between a cold brew and a heat-based one.

anyway those mixed with lemonade (i make a concentrate using half lemons and half regular lemon juice, and include some lemon zest) makes one of the best summer drinks i've ever had.

i'm adding a cut for the last one because i can't/won't stop now but i have some self-awareness. okay, last one:

vanilla chai: i haven't made this in a bit, because when i moved here i ended up using up my stock of cardamom, and the local brand available here is just... not it, and i'm still trying to work out the most cost-effective way to order them online. which is devastating, because cardamom is the flavor most beloved to me in chai. anyway-

the thing that rocks about chai is that it is not actually all that hard, and you can customize it so specifically to your taste. my go-to add-ins are cardamom (5-6 pods, crushed open), cloves (2-3), cinnamon (about half a stick, crushed a lil), fresh ginger (idk how to measure this one, like an inch or two?), and vanilla. i used to use vanilla bean paste i got ages ago as a gift, but that is too rich for the world we live in nowadays, so it's whatever vanilla i have.

technically there's a specific kind of tea you're supposed to use, but i prefer it with regular loose-leaf black tea (which i always have on hand anyway). so you basically get a small pot, and bring your water (about half to 3/4 of your mug) to a boil. once it does, add your tea leaves and spices (not vanilla tho) and let them vibe out there for 5-10 minutes.

then, add your milk (about half of your mug) and vanilla, and warm to desired temp, but don't let it boil (this is my personal preference). add desired amount of sugar to your mug (i usually do a small spoonful of white and a small spoonful of brown sugar) and pour the chai into the mug through a fine mesh sieve (to get out the spice bits). if you have a milk frother, i like to aerate it a bit before drinking (improves flavor and also makes it less likely to burn your tongue).