#anyway I was just surprised people were upset at Suki | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pearl-blue-musings · 3 years

Note

Could I order a medium well steak with mashed potatoes and peas please? I’ll be splitting it with Bakugo and/or Kirishima ☺️

Oh honey yes yes you can!! And thanks for giving me my first poly fic ☺️☺️ 💪💥

Pairing: KiriBaku x fem!reader poly is this happening or.???

Warnings: smut, 18+, oral fem and male receiving, hair pulling, one or two daddy calling, threesome, fingering, spanking, it’s my first time writing poly mkay

Enjoy your meal~

Kirishima Eijirou, Bakugou Katsuki, and you. Friends since high school and now inseparable in your fourth year of college. The dynamic between the three of you was always energetic, supportive and fun. Most of your friends always found you three together and it would always be weird if one of you was without the other two. Yes, this was perfect, it was working, it was fine.

It didn’t matter that feelings between the three of you began to shift from platonic to romantic.

When did that start really? Well it could be boiled down to a couple of instances. The first one being your first major heartbreak in college. You were a freshman, young, a little naïve, so you dove head first into the arms of an upperclassmen who claimed to see you for you. Until you saw him in the arms, rather sheets, of someone else. The pain you felt was excruciating as you ran and told your two best friends. Each of them lending an ear and some advice to your heart slowly closing off to them and the world.

“That extra didn’t deserve you anyways. You can do way better.”

“I already got your favorite ice cream. Now come on, I know you wanna cry in my shoulder. We’re here for you.”

You hadn’t expected them to be so kind and caring about that. The three of you ended up cuddling together and watching your favorite movies. It was confusing. This is normal for friends right? Totally platonic for friends to snuggle and provide affectionate care after a bad break up. Totally and completely.

But your heart can’t stop racing and you can’t stop the warmth you feel from their closeness.

The next time was when Bakugou’s college hockey team made it to the national title your second year. You and Kirishima had been at every game, even the ones out of state. You cheered him on and yelled at all the right times when plays and calls seemed unfair.

“You call that an infraction? Bakugou barely touched that guy, come on!”

“Hell yeah bro! That’s how you score on those unmanly boys over there!”

He never admitted it, but seeing the two of you in the stands at all of his games made him want to play harder and better, push himself to be the best despite any potential injuries he could have gotten. Being able to hear your intense screams over the crowd and Kiri’s booms of what’s manly on the ice and what isn’t made his heart race in a way he couldn’t figure out. There’s no way it’s the l word. No, they’re his best friends.

That’s all it is, he loves his best friends in the most non-romantic way possible.

The third and last instance was a little more personal between the three of you; starting with you and Kirishima. It was a party, celebrating Kirishima’s new job at the university gym, where you began to realize your feelings. The apartment was filled with close friends and some acquaintances where alcohol and some drugs flowed freely. The two men had lived together with a couple other guys they knew so for the most part they were on host duties. When you had finally arrived with a couple of your girlfriends, you greeted the blond and red head and continued to dance and mingle with your friends.

About an hour after you had entered, you walked over to Kirishima’s room to use his bathroom (you didn’t want to touch Denki’s bathroom) in his room. When you walked into his room, you were surprised to see him standing in front of his closet, half naked and changing shirts.

“Ah geez Eiji! Sorry to interrupt, I’ll wait outside.”

He chuckles and finishes putting on his shirt. “It’s all good pebble. I just had a little spill and needed to change.” He looks you up and down in an unfamiliar way. “Did you need to use my bathroom?”

You feel your cheeks heat up at how close he had gotten. It had to be the alcohol, right? That’s the only explanation. “Yeah,” you huff out, “but I don’t know if I need to go anymore ha ha.”

He grins at you and asks, “do you wanna sit for a bit? I feel like we haven’t had much time just the two of us.”

And who were you to say no to one of your best friends? So you sit beside him on his bed, something you’ve done plenty of times before. But somehow this felt, different. You feel him lay his head on your lap, a move he’s done before to indicate how tired he is and you naturally rake your fingers through his soft hair. You wish he would wear it down more often, you think he looks better that way.

“You really think so?”

You look down at him and freeze. Seems that you were talking out loud instead of in your mind. You giggle awkwardly, but keep your fingers attached to his scalp. “Yeah,” you hum. “It looks really nice.”

He hums into you, enjoying the feeling of your hand in his hair. A soft smile adorns his face as he muses to himself, “wouldn’t it be funny if Bakugou gelled his hair down?”

You don’t do much to hold in the laughter that erupts from your stomach, making the man in your lap laugh with you. The small intimate moment between you becomes more intimate when Kirishima sits up to look you in the eyes, his pupils dilated. You feel his hand come up to your cheek as his thumb rubs circles near the crease of your eye. “God you’re beautiful,” he whispers holding your gaze. The hand that was previously in his hair rests on his broad shoulder. Had he always been this rough yet soft to the touch? You don’t realize you’re sharing breaths until his next words are felt on your lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

You nod fervently and close the short distance between your lips. The rush that you feel when his warm lips are on yours is an experience you want to relive over and over. Just like him, his kiss is soft and full of care as he gently kisses you. Kirishima’s hands run down your body and find comfort on your hips while your wrap around his neck, pulling him closer. You can feel how hard he is from your bodies grinding on each other.

You break for air with a string of saliva connecting your lips. This is it. You might’ve known it for a long time but it’s glaring at you right in your face. You love him, and from what you can muster, he loves you too. The way his fingers are still touching you even though the act of passion has ended. Your foreheads are touching as you both exchange breaths.

“I,” he starts, “I think I’m in love with you. Well, have been for awhile.”

You smile when he smiles and slowly peck his lips. “I love you too, Eijirou.” You pause to cup his cheek and feel happiness grow inside when he leans into it. “But what about-“

“Bakugou?”

“Yeah.”

Your hand falls into your lap and Kirishima reaches for it. He holds it gently and strokes his thumb at the back of it. The silence in the room isn’t complete because of the muffled music and shouting outside the closed door. You part your lips and struggle for the next couple of seconds to say the right thing. “I don’t want our dynamic to change.”

“Neither do I. But I can’t deny these feelings I’ve had for you anymore! Ever since that jerk cheated on you at the beginning of college, I think that’s when my feelings started. I hated seeing you cry and I vowed that if you ever did cry that I would be the one to wipe away your tears and take care of you. Not that you can’t take care yourself, you know what I mean!” Your light chuckle helps him to keep talking. “But I think about how it’s always the three of us and… I don’t wanna leave Katsuki out of this, us! It wouldn’t feel right.

“And I think when we saw him score that winning goal last year, with the way you looked at him I thought you could never look at me that way.”

Your back sits up straighter at his words. Was that true? Did you also have feelings for Bakugou as well? He had turned his face away from you at his admittance, but you pulled him back for a kiss. This one seemed to be more heated and passionate than the last as your hands search and prod his warm body all over.

You were so tightly wound up in each other you neglected to hear his door opening.

“Hey dumbass, (Y/n) went in here to go to the bathroom forever ago- what the fuck?!”

Kirishima pulled away from you quickly at hearing his other best friends voice. The two of you do your best to fix your state of clothes but the damage had already been done. You’ve seen Bakugou upset before but never like this. Never like this at the two of you. He looked broken and betrayed.

You face him and get up off the bed, “Katsuki, wait lemme explain!”

Vermillion eyes glare down at you in such passionate anger that you were almost terrified to say anything. “I think everything makes perfect sense to me. You two have been dating behind my back haven’t you.”

It wasn’t a question but a statement.

Kirishima responds first, “wait it’s not what you think, ‘Suki. We actually need to talk to you about something.”

“Tch,” he roughly pulls himself away from the two of you, “don’t fucking call me that. How long has this been going on, hah?! You really think I wouldn’t notice? You guys have been making go-go eyes at each other for years.”

“Would you please hear us out? And close the door,” you murmur, “everyone’s looking in here.”

Bakugou looks to the two of you and then behind him as his friends look on. Most people had dispersed or left so only your close friend group had stayed. Being the good and observant friends they are, Denki was the first to speak up.

“I think we’ll go somewhere else. You three need to talk.” And in his slightly drunk and slightly high daze, he and Sero managed to get everyone out of the doorway and out of the apartment. So now it’s just the three of you and open truth of the situation.

Bakugou roughly shuts the door and stands above the two of you. “So,” he huffs, “how long have you been dating?”

You can’t help but hear the hint of hurt in the last word he said. You want to reach out but know that it won’t help presently. “Ka- uh Bakugou, we’re not dating. We just, kissed and confessed our feelings.”

The ashy blond pouts and crosses his arms. “Don’t lie to me, dumbass. Shitty hair, is that really what happened?”

“Yeah dude, we really were just talking and then we kinda kissed and talked about our feelings.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“Everything!” You had let your emotions get the best of you as you yelled at him. “It’s always been the three of us and we don’t wanna ruin this dynamic we have.”

Katsuki snaps back, “I get it. I would be in the way. Just, fuck, go be happy.”

Kirishima stands up and prevents Bakugou from leaving. “No dude, you don’t get it. (Y/n) and I came to an unspoken understanding:

“We can’t do this without you.”

With his anger subsiding, Bakugou was vulnerable. And in his state of vulnerability, Kirishima took the opportunity to cover his lips with his own. The ashy blond is caught off guard, but eventually concedes into the kiss. Something inside you stirs at seeing your two best friends kiss. It’s not jealousy, it’s contentment; like everything is finally fitting and working out.

When the two males part, their breaths are heavy as they stare into each others eyes. Kirishima speaks up first. “This is what we wanted to talk to you about.” He then tangles his fingers with the stunned in silence blond. “We think, no, we know that we have feelings for each other. But also-“

“We have feelings for you too Katsuki,” you chime in from the bed. “We couldn’t do this, thing, without you. I can’t imagine life without you two.”

Bakugou looks over to where you are on the bed, and his eyes soften. He can see the love in your eyes, a gaze that he’s seen you give Kirishima and maybe you’ve given those looks to him and he didn’t notice? Almost like he thought you wouldn’t have feelings for him, or that his red headed friend would feel similarly.

“Tch, idiots. How long have you,” he looks away as his cheeks start to tint pink, “had feelings for me?”

You stand up and walk up to the shy man, taking his other hand. “I’m not sure. I might’ve realized it when Eiji and I were cheering for you at one of your games… T-the way you looked when you noticed us made my heart leap. You were so happy and satisfied with that look on your face Katsuki. But I was confused cause by then I had already confirmed my feelings for Eiji so I- mmph!”

Katsuki ended your rambling and pulled you into his body. You had always dreamt and fantasized about what his tout and fit body would feel against yours, and it’s better than you could have imagined. Where Kirishima was soft, Bakugou was rough as he licks at your bottom lip and thrusts his tongue in your mouth. You accept him hungrily as your arms wrap around his shoulders. Your lips mesh so easily and effortlessly together that you can’t help but moan.

When the two of you pull apart, Katuski is back to his smug self. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that princess. Damn, so what now?”

The question doesn’t linger too long in the air as the three of you exchange glances at each other. “Well, we just keep doing what we’re doing. You know, now with kissing and hand holding and sex stuff I guess, hehe.” Kirishima laughs out as realization comes to all of your faces. To be fair, you all have already kissed and you doubt Kiri’s earlier hard on has gone down.

Being brave, you step up to Kirishima, grabbing his collar and pulling him into a lust filled kiss. You grind yourself on his torso, forcing him to put his hands on your waist. His grip on you tightens and doesn’t hesitate to lift you up, making your legs wrap around his waist. Behind you, you feel hands trail down your back sensually, stopping at your ass. You pause your kiss with Kirishima to whine at the touch, feeling Bakugou’s hands go down your thighs and over Kiri’s hands.

“Put her on the bed, Eijirou.”

The way he commands the two of you, the way how he growled that out right by your ear made your panties damp. Kirishima nods and walks you two toward his bed, gently placing you down. He works on getting your leggings off, slowly pulling each leg out to keep touching your soft skin. Once they’re off, you’re left in your top and lacy thong, unaware of how the night would turn out. The wet spot at your core doesn’t go unnoticed by the two males and Kirishima licks his lips and Bakugou starts palming at his jeans, hissing as he does so. “Is that for us, pebble?” He takes a single finger and slowly swipes it up your covered slit making your toes curl and a huff of air leaves your lips. “Fuck, baby you’re so wet. Katsu, you gotta see this up close.” He takes off your thong, brings it up to his nose for a long sniff, and stuffs them in his pocket.

You feel a new pair of hands graze your inner thighs, as a head of ashy blond is now seen between your legs. He breathes into your cunt and grins at your mewl, the sound going to his hardening cock. Without warning, his tongue dives into your folds, going in between kitten licks and deep thrusts of his tongue into you. Your jaw drops in pleasure and you can’t help but moan loudly. Bakugou pulls away, and grunts “Think you can shut her up shitty hair?”

You hear the red head chuckle to the side of you as he had already removed his pants and now his boxers. His cock springs free, swinging upward on his abs and already leaking pre-cum. The way you’re looking at him like a full course meal makes his dick twitch. “I can’t wait to shove my dick in your mouth.” You see a little bit of drool fall from the corner of his mouth and just seeing that turns you on so much. He moves to straddle you over your chest, careful not to sink down or hurt you in anyway. His ruby irises meet yours as he caresses your cheek, “is this okay?”

You nod, words failing you because Bakugou hasn’t let up on your pussy. Kirishima inches closer and sit up slightly so that your lips can finally met his warm and hard dick. You wrap your lips around the tip, your tongue flitting at his leaking tip causing the strong man above you to moan loudly. That moan caused a ripple effect from you sucking him harder and Bakugou’s tongue swirling on your clit, which made you moan onto Kiri’s cock. All three of you are beginning to feel extreme pleasure at once, almost as if everything in your lives was building up to this point.

You sink your mouth deeper onto throbbing cock, causing Kirishima to pant and curse. His hips struggle to stay still but your tongue, throat, and mouth are working wonders on him. You never thought he would be somewhat loud in the bedroom, but it’s making you love him more. You’re snapped out of your thoughts when you feel a slap on your inner thigh and but hear an extra one. The extra one you heard was Bakugou lifting his body just enough for him to reach Kirishima’s are ass and smack it. Just knowing he got spanked made you wetter.

“Heh, do you like it when I smack his ass baby girl? You’re gushing down here after I did that. Lemme do it again, yeah?” And you hear the sound of palm against skin and you taste more of him in your mouth after. Bakugou continues his assault on your pussy as your hips gyrate into his face, moans and cries muffled by Kirishima’s long and girthy cock in your mouth. Kiri moves his hand from your cheek to your hair and tugs as he chases his high.

He feels you whine something on his dick and smirk. “You gonna cum pebble? You’re gonna cum all over ‘Suki’s face while I cum down your throat? C’mon baby girl, milk my cock I wanna mess up your throat, ah fuck this feels good!”

Bakugou inserts two fingers into your aching pussy as he sucks on your clit. Your hips are moving out of rhythm as you feel the build up deep in your core want to explode. You suck hard on Kirishima’s cock as he moans above you loudly, filling your mouth and throat with his seed. As he comes down from his hard orgasm, you let out a pop as you let go of his cock. He removes himself from your chest and takes your chin in his thumb and forefinger, running his thumb over your swollen lips. “I don’t want you to spill a drop until he makes you cum. If any of it spills or you swallow it without permission, he won’t let you cum and I’m gonna punish you okay pebble?”

You nodded and he lets you go, realizing he hasn’t taken off your top. Kirishima brings you up to take off your top, giving you a look to remember his words just seconds earlier. He removes it and realizes you aren’t wearing anything underneath. He lifts an eyebrow at you and chuckles darkly. “You’re so naughty,” he growls as he takes a hardening nipple into his mouth. He sucks earnestly as Bakugou finger and tongue fucks you. You feel your orgasm getting closer and closer as Bakugou growls into your pussy.

“You ready to cum baby girl? You heard Ejij, don’t spill a fucking drop until I say.”

You nod vigorously, avoiding being vocal to keep your mouth full.

“Then cum baby,” he sucks on your clit harder, “cum for daddy.”

Your own orgasm rocked through you so hard you were seeing stars. You obeyed their commands and only swallowed after you were sure you were done cumming, holding onto Kirishima’s back tightly as your nails dug into it. Bakugou removes himself from between your legs, licking his chin and observing your juices on his fingers. He taps Kirishima on the shoulder and shoves his fingers into his mouth, catching the red head off guard. He moans around the wet fingers as his tongue dives in the valleys of Bakugous fingers. The scene before you was incredibly erotic as the to men didn’t break eye contact.

“She tastes good doesn’t she?”

“Mmm,” he releases with a pop, “fuck yeah she does, babe.” Your chest heaves up and down as you come down from your high, truly enjoying the moment between the trio of you. Kirishima lightly plays with your breasts still as Bakugou moves to the other side of the bed. “Get her on all fours. I can’t wait to fuck that mouth of hers.”

The two of you do as he says, and you get on all fours on the bed. You see Katsuki undress and you do your best to keep your dirty thoughts to yourself as you realize you are in the presence of two god-like looking men. You feel Kirishima smack you ass and you yelp out the sudden sensation. You hear him snicker behind you as you feel his hands knead your ass. The man behind you leans over you, hands trailing up your back and sides as he asks. “All of this is okay, right?”

Bakugou grunts, “speak.” He grabs your cheeks and forces you to look at him, “now.”

You nod at first, but remember that your mouth is empty. “Yes,” you pant, “please have your way with me, daddies.”

Wet lips attach to yours as you make out with Bakugou once more, accepting your consent. Kirishima palms at your cunt, making you clench around nothing, as his other hand reaches for his nightstand to grab a condom. The red head had no idea that he would need these anytime soon, especially with the two of you. Once the condom is on, he lines himself behind you, teasing your hole with his tip. At the same time, Bakugou lines up his aching cock with your lips, outlining them with this dick.

When Kirishima finally pushes in your eyes go wide. You knew he was big, but fuck would he fit? He moves slowly for you to adjust to his size and length. You pant wildly as he grips your hips tighter at how slick you are. Soon enough, he’s bottomed out in you and waits. He can tell you aren’t used to his size yet and traces your spine to comfort you. “You’re taking me so well, pebble. Tell me when it’s okay for me to move, okay?”

You let out more shaky breaths and then crane your neck to give him the most blissed out face he’s ever seen. Tears are building in the corner of your eyes, pupils blown out and your tongue lolling to the side as you tell him to move. And when he does, you never thought that fucking, no making love could feel so ecstatic, so euphoric. The feeling is overwhelming but you love it, it’s a good overwhelming.

You barely have time to moan because Bakugou shoves his needy cock into your mouth. He’s not as big as Kirishima so blowing him is going to be a fun adventure. You wrap one hand around the base and hollow out your cheeks as you suck him in. He hisses above you as one hand finds purchase in your hair. His hips stutter a bit when you lick a stripe up his cock from base to tip. A few pants escape him when you do that but what has him moaning more is when you lick and play with his balls. His grip gets tighter as you keep playing and messing with his cock and balls.

Meanwhile Kirishima is slamming into you, his balls hitting you with every thrust. You never knew you needed this but now that you have it you don’t want to go with out it. There’s one particular thrust he gives that makes your eyes roll back and stop working on Bakugou briefly. He tugs at your hair and you get back to licking and servicing him. Above you, you feel a hand on the middle of your back and a hand leave your hair. You catch Kirishima whisper a “c’mere” and the sounds of lips and tongues melding together is heard. The scene is absolutely erotic and you are living for it. Having your two best friends, no lovers, make out above you almost makes you cum again as your pussy clenches.

Eijirou pulls away when your pussy clenches around his dick in order for him to whimper at the sensation. He starts pumping into you harder, wanting you two to cum for the second time. You have a feeling Bakugou is close because his thrusts have become erratic and he’s pulling on you harder. The pull of your hair and the way Kiri’s dick feels inside you is enough for you to cum.

You whine on Katsuki’s dick, seeing the tears in your eyes as his hips keep moving back and forth. “You ready to take my seed, huh pretty girl? I know you are, just look at you. Fuck,” he moans out, “you’re something else princess. Shit, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum. Unf, (Y/n), EIjirou, fuck!”

His cum fills up your throat, some of it spilling out the side of your mouth. You swallow what you can and release him with a pop. Your breathing is ragged as you admire the taste of both men mixed on your tongue. The hands that were previously on your hips go to your stomach and pull you into a strong chiseled chest. Kirishima rests his forehead on your shoulder blade as he fucks you harder. “C’mon pebble I’m so close, I’m so close. God you feel amazing,” he mewls into your ear. One hand goes to your swollen nub and rubs at it intensely. Your voice raises an octave as you practically scream in pleasure, the waves of your second orgasm hitting you without warning.

Kirishima pumps up into you faster after he felt you tighten around him. “Oh fuck, oh fuck I’m gonna cum (Y/n). Katsuki I’m cumming, I’m cumming! Ah fuck!” He holds you tightly as he pumps through his orgasm, speeding up and then slowing down as the both of you calm down from your highs. You stay impaled on his cock, enjoying the sheen of sweat between the three of you. Bakugou comes up to you and kisses you sweetly, carefully lifting you off of Kirishima’s dick. He takes a finger to trace along the outside of your face and then over your lips. He lays the two of you down on the bed, just embracing the moment. Kirishima gets up and shaky legs to take care of the used up condom. He throws it in the trash and then heads into his bathroom. When he comes back out, he hands Bakugou a towel and the two of them begin to tend to you and clean you up. “You did so well for us babe,” Bakugou whispers, kissing your cheek and wiping your right leg. Kirishima has your left and himself to clean up.

Once you’re all cleaned up, Kirishima takes the towels to the laundry room and returns with bottles of water for each of you. He slides under the covers, the top comforter replaced with a Crimson Riot one, and cuddles up to you and Bakugou. “So,” he starts, “does that mean we’re together? Like officially?”

Bakugou who’s facing the two you, with you in the middle, rolls his eyes and extends an arm out to the adorable red head. “Dumbass, I wouldn’t have done this if we weren’t. Now shut up,” his voice lowers, “she’s asleep.”

The diner is open

#answered #the diner #bnha smut #katsuki bakugo x reader #kirishima x reader #kirishima smut #bakugou smut #kiribaku #kiribaku x reader #eijirou x reader #katsuki bakugo x y/n #kirishima x y/n #first time writing poly

1K notes · View notes

milliumizoomi · 3 years

Text

𝐼𝑆 𝑇𝐻𝐴𝑇 𝐻𝐸𝑅?!

TodoBakuDeku x Black FEM! Reader

AGED UP!!

Warnings: Fluff to Angst to Fluff, cursing, confused boyfriends, tw,, racism mention and hidden talents.

A/n: my motivation be dropping really fast but we back😩✨. also i got a lil lazy at the end so that’s mbb😭.

✗ 𝐎𝐇 𝐆𝐎𝐃, you knew that this wasn’t supposed to happen. They weren’t supposed to find out like this and now they're calling and texting you trying to find out where you are and what exactly it is that they just saw on literally one of the biggest billboard TVs in the city.

✗ But I should backtrack and say what lead to this.

✗ It started about 4 days ago.

You came home from work to an empty house, as usual. You were used to this. Your boyfriends were pro heroes so this was normal. You walked to your shared bedroom and dropped your purse on the bed. You sat down on the same bed and slipped your heels off. You then flopped down and let your body relaxed. “Ugh.. today was stressful. Ima go take a shower the wait for the boys to come home” you said. You then got up and stripped. You then picked up your shower cap off the dresser and walked to the bathroom. You pulled your lace front into a bun and put your shower cap on and turned the water on then hopped in the shower.

20 minutes later, you got finished with your shower. You stepped out and grabbed your (f/c) towel and dried off. You then also took the chance to peel the shower cap off of your head. You set the shower cap on the shelf and wrapped the towel around your body and walked out of the bathroom. You got to the bathroom and grabbed your lotion off the dresser and started to apply it to your body. After you were done, you threw on a big t-shirt that you had bought some time back.

You walked into the living room to see none of your boyfriends are back. You shrugged this off and decided to make dinner. Today you thought you make ackee and saltfish. You knew that your boys enjoyed your food. Especially since they weren’t used to food like that. So you got to work.

About an hour later, you hear the front door jiggling. And then the sounds of gruff voices could be heard. ‘They’re home’ you thought as you covered the pot and walked to the front door. When you got there, you saw all of your boyfriends leaning on each other as support for taking off their shoes. “Welcome home,” you said to them. They all looked up, stunned. They didn’t even notice you were there.

“Oh hey angel sorry you startled us. Are you ok?” Todoroki said as he stood up and hugged your much tinier figure. “Yes, sweetheart I’m ok. And how are my other boys?” You asked teasingly. Bakugou grumbled and stood up and leaned down towards your shoulder. You could tell he was stressed. “Ease up ‘Suki babe I need to my hair outta the way,” you said as you felt Bakogou’s head resting on your hair. He lifted his head for a second and allowed you to move your hair then dropped his head right back onto your shoulder. Midoriya then walked up to you and snuggled his head into the top of your head. “Hi pretty baby.. you ok?” He asked as he continued to rest his head on you. “My baby m’ok but y’all look tired.. rough day?” You asked as u were still supporting all of these huge men whom were all 6 foot and over. He nodded his head in your hair, answering your question. You stayed like that for a while until you remembered. “..Did I turn off the stove?” All the boys perked up at you at your question. “WHAT THE HELL?!” Bakugou yelled as he bolted to the kitchen. “Oh crap..!” You said as he managed to turn it off before anything bad happened. “I can’t believe I totally forgot..” you sighed. “Well boys go clean up I’ll share your plates,” you told the boys. They nodded and headed to the bedroom.

‘They were off.. what happened today..?’ You thought. You had realized that their behavior was slightly off as soon as you walked up to the door and inspected them. Their body language was a little different. ‘But why didn’t they tell me..? Do they not wanna talk about it?’ You continued to ponder. You decided that you would ask them later. You shared their plates and placed them on the table. You then shared your plate and sat down. They all emerged out of their bedroom in their casual clothes. And by casual I mean shirtless with sweats on.

They came and sat down at the table. “Thanks princess, it looks delicious!” Midoriya praised. Bakugou grunted in approval and Todoroki nodded, indicating he thought the same. You all then started eating in silence. It felt awkward. You decided this would be the best time to talk about what may be bothering them,, so you asked. “My loves?” You started. They all looked up and you, letting you know you have their attention. “Did something happen..? I mean! The reason I was asking is that you guys seem to be deep in thought about something” you continued.

You watched as all three of the men looked at each other then looked back down at their food. You sat there confused. Where they not going to tell you? You opened your mouth to say something but Bakugou cuts you off, “Don’t worry about it Y/N.. it doesn’t concern you anyways” he grunted. This surprises you. You all had been keen on communication in this relationship and yet here they are shutting you out. “What does that mean Kastuki? Y’all know that we communicate in this relationship. I want to help you with whatever it is that is bothering y’all but how am I supposed to when you won’t even tell me?” You said, having your english slowly beginning to break because you were getting a little upset.

“Drop it Y/N. This isn’t something we wanna share ok” Todoroki said calmly. “But why? We’re supposed to be open about this stuff” You answered back. You weren’t going to drop this so easily. You wanted answers all while trying to stay rational, calm, and patient, but that was slowly dwindling. “At least explain to me why you don’t want me to know and I won’t push it! You aren’t giving me any answers here! How am I supposed to feel seeing the three people I love so much walk through that god damned door looking frustrated and shit huh?!” You say getting even more frustrated.

“STOP FUCKING ASKING! IT’S NOT LIKE YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND OK!” Bakugou yelled. “Now I don’t know who the fuck you raising your voice at ‘cause I know it ain’t me,” you said, trying to maintain your calm state of mind. “Yes! I am talking to you” Bakugou grunted out. “No the hell you not y’all know I don’t take disrespect from nobody,” you said while leaning your hand on the table and resting your face in your palm.

They stayed silent. “And why don’t you think I’ll understand?” You continued. They didn’t answer. “Well?” You questioned. You scoffed. “Wow ok, no answer tough crowd I guess..” you said, rolling your eyes. You looked over at Midoriya who was silent the whole time. You could see he wanted to say something by the look on his face.

“You got something to say don’t you Izuku? Go ahead say it. ‘Cause right now I’m trying to understand” you told him. He froze up at the sound of his name. You didn’t really use their real names much so it was a shock to not only him but the other two men as well. “B-babe.. well I— I just—“ he started. He then sighed and started again. “It’s something you wouldn’t understand because um..” he said and then mumbled something at the end. “Ima need you to speak up please ‘cause you mumbling and I ain’t hear what you said” you said. He froze for a second then said it again. “Because your not...” he mumbled again. “Izu I still can’t hear you” you told him. “BECAUSE YOUR NOT A PRO HERO!” He blurted out. Your eyes widened and you froze. We’re they seriously not gonna tell you what’s bothering them because of their job?

“Are yall fucking serious..?” You mumbled out. “We’ve lived together for so long.. we’ve been dating for so long and y’all trying to tell me the reason y’all can’t explain what the hell is bothering you is because I don’t have the same fucking job..!” You stated getting angry. “What does that even have to do with anything?!” You said, fuming.

And they just sat there. Staring down at the table. “I don’t give a damn about your job all I want to know is what’s wrong so I can help you!” You yelled out. “You should give a damn about our jobs.. all you do is leech off u—“ Bakugou started but stopped as soon as he heard what he was saying. The other two men looked at him wide eyed. They all turned to look at you. You stood there in shock. You then laughed, but there was no humor behind it.

“Wow.. this all started because I was trying to be a good girlfriend. And then the people I call so called boyfriends wanna tell me that I’m LEECHING OFF THEM?! THAT THE REASON THEY CAN NO LONGER TALK WITH ME IS BECAUSE IM NOT A FUCKING BIG SHOT LIKE THEM?! UNLESS YOU FORGOT I GO TO WORK TOO! I DON’T LEECH OFF NOBODY FOR SHIT!” You said, seeing red. How dare they. They know the shit you go through at your workplace. Having to deal with racism and things of that nature. You stood up from the table with the food that was barely touched. “Eat your food I’m going to bed.. do whatever the fuck y’all want ion care,, I won’t ask no questions no more. Thanks for telling me the reason though” You said as you walked off to one of the guest bedrooms to sleep.

They boys sat there in silence. They knew they were wrong for what they did and no doubt they felt horrible. “Fuck” Bakugou started, leaning down to hit his head on the table. “That was the worst conversation ever..” Midoriya said, pushing his plate away. “I feel really bad.. all she wanted to do was help” Todoroki chimes in. The guilt settles with them. “She.. she didn’t deserve that..” Bakugou said feeling extremely guilty. “Why did I say those stuff.. I’m a fucking idiot!” He continued. “Don’t say that Kacchan! Granted we didn’t act the best but..” Midoriya trails off. “We should go talk to her..” Todoroki says as he gets up. The other two men get up as well and they all walk towards the room you were in.

They stopped in front of the door when they get there. Midoriya knocked softly. “B-babe..? Can we come in?” He said silently. There was no answer. He looked back at the two males behind him then spoke a little louder. “N/N can we come in please we’re sorry.” Still there was no answer. Todoroki moved in front of him to test if the door was unlocked and it was.

He looked over at Midoriya and Bakugou, then looked forward and pushed the door open. The room was dark, with only a soft glow coming from your phone. Your back faced away from the door so you couldn’t see the boys when they came inside the room. “B-babe..?” Midoriya croaked out. You didn’t answer. “Babe we’re sorry please face us..” He continued. You stayed silent, not moving a muscle. The boys looked at each other and sighed in defeat. They moved to leave since they knew that when your mind was made up about something, there’s no persuading you.

“Hey..” you called out to them before they left the room. “Yes?!” Midoriya called out first. The three men turned around quickly, facing you. “Say that to me again.. and I won’t stay here..” you said as you turned to face them. Your eyes were red and your face was tear stained. You cry when frustrated.

The three men stiffened. The my knees what they did was wrong, but they had no clue it affected you so much. “Do I make myself clear..?” You asked seriously. “Y-yes babe.. we’re sorry.. just please don’t leave.. please” Todoroki said as he leaned down next to your bed and hugged you. You put your hand on his head and reassured him. “I’m not, I’m not. I trust you guys. You have me your word. I love you. All of you.” You tell them. Bakugou and Midoriya stood there, probably too overwhelmed with the situation. “Come on you two. Get over here.” You smile at them. The all laid in your bed together and fell asleep, the dinner forgotten on the table.

You woke up the next day to a cold bed. ‘Oh they probably went to work already..’ you thought. It was Friday. “Well.. time to get up” you yawned. You got up out of your bed and stretched. You took a shower, put your clothes on and made breakfast. You realized the dishes from the dinner you cooked yesterday were washed and cleaned already. You smiled at this and continued to finish getting ready for work. You finished your preparation and went to your car. You started the car and drove off to work.

When you pulled up, you got a text from your friend since middle school.

✗ Messages

[???]

— hey y/n! how you been?

[you]

— hey … ! ive been good,, hbu?

[???]

— ive been doing alright,, but i need to ask you a favor

[you]

— a favor?? what kind of favor??

[???]

— remember what we used to do in high school >:)

[you]

— lemme think abt it ok

[???]

— alr but lmk soon ok

[you]

— np xai yk i will

Read at 8:43 a.m

You spent the whole morning considering what your long time best friend asked of you. You really wanted to, but you weren’t sure. ‘It has been a while.. and I’d like to catch up. I wonder if they still act the same,, knowing those bitches they haven’t changed” you rolled your eyes and laughed.

A few hours pass and you get off work and get home. You slip your shoes and jacket off and walk to your shared bedroom with the boys. ‘Ugh..my head is killing me..’ you thought as you sighed and plopped down on the bed. You took your phone out of your back pocket and looked at the messages again. You really weren’t sure whether or not it was a good idea. You decided to take some more time to just think it over.

You sighed as set your phone down on the bed. You payed there for a bit just to relax. After a couple minutes you decided to go take a shower. “Ugh.. time to take a shower. Damn work took it outta me today. Wonder when them niggas getting home today..” you stretched and said. You laughed to yourself as you thought of how many times you’ve called the men you live with different names. It’s funny because they don’t mind it at all, so you get to basically call them anything you want. You shook the thought from your head and headed to the bathroom to take your shower.

After you finished, you walked out with a towel on and headed back to the room. ‘Ok I needed that..’ you thought to yourself. You made sure to dry your skin properly and continue to do your night routine. ‘Finally finished for the night.. god I’m tired but I still have to cook’ you thought.

You made your way to the kitchen to prepare dinner. You chose to make some fried chicken with rice and a homemade sauce you created a while back. You got the pots on the stove and started cooking. Like clockwork, the 3 men you shared your home with came through the door at roughly the same time as the day before. Right now, it was 8:39pm. You heard the front door and the muffled voices from the kitchen. You smiled to yourself knowing that they made it home safely. Being a pro hero does not mean you living to see tomorrow is guaranteed, so you were grateful. You heard their heavy footsteps and muffled voices coming closer towards you. You turned away from the stove to greet them.

“Hey how was work?” You questioned as you were putting a knife down. “Stressful” Bakugou said running his had over his face. He walked over to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, trying to look at what you were cooking. “Hey babe” Todoroki said sitting at the table. “Hi Sho. I’m guessing your day was just as bad as Katsuki’s huh?” You snickered. Todoroki shook his head with a soft smile on his face because of your antics. “How ‘bout you Izu how did the job go for you?” You said teasingly. He groaned and leaned up next to you on fridge. “It was stressful today that’s for sure..” he exasperated.

You couldn’t help but laugh at them. They look so out of place and annoyed. “Awe come on babe cut us some slack. Some of these people really know how to get on my nerves ok!” Bakugou groaned. The two other men nodded in agreement. You let out a final laugh before calming down. “Okok I will. I’m sorry” you said, still trying to calm down. The three men looked at you then smiled. This went unnoticed by you since you had shifted your attention back to the stove. Your mind was still lingering on the day before with the events that took place. You shook you’re heading to try and shake off the feeling since you opted to try and not think about it and got back to cooking.

“Oh by the way N/N, we have some plans we have to look over for the weekend ok? So we need to focus because apparently this new mission is a big job” Todoroki said. You nodded. You knew by the tone of his voice that he was serious, plus, you had no energy to say anything otherwise. “Dinner’s ready!” You said as you placed their food on the table. You could see that they’ve already started talking about what they had to do.

Suddenly a light bulb went off in you head. “Aye.. y’all.. I actually have something a friend wanted me to help them on this weekend. They didn’t say what it was but apparently it’s some sort of project” you tell them. You decided you were gonna help your friend since the boys are gonna be extremely busy. And that meant you were most likely gonna get ignored unintentionally, which is something you weren’t looking forward to anyways. And since they already started planning out what they were going to do about the mission, they just waved you off. You rolled your eyes and went to your shared room and grabbed your phone.

✗ Messages

— i’ll be there,, and expect me early cuz i may be leaving tonight or early tomorrow

Delivered

You put your phone down and started to pack a bag full of stuff you may need. ‘Should I leave a note when I’m going?’ You thought. ‘Naw whatever I’ll text them that I’m gone’ you decided. You continued to pack your overnight bag, making sure to put all the essentials in it. You look at the clock to see it was already past 10.

“Damn that took longer than I thought..” you said as you leaned up to stretch your back. ‘Where are those overworkers anyways? I thought they’d come in here and see me packing or sumn but I guess not’ you thought as your mind traveled to your boyfriends. You walked out of the room and into the kitchen to see they were already done eating. You rolled your eyes. “Of course those niggas are already working. Guess I’ll leave tonight. Got nothing to do anyways” you said to yourself.

You went back to your room and changed your clothes. After you were done, you made sure to grab your purse and put everything that may be needed in it. You wrote a note and stuck it the one place you knew they would all see it. The fridge. After you were done, you took all your stuff and grabbed your car keys. You walked out of the big doors and opened your car to drop all of your stuff on the passenger side of the car. You walked back around to the driver side and jumped in. You started the car and drove off, already knowing the address to the place you needed to go.

You arrived at the big house that was blaring with music. ‘A music video.. I knew it’ you thought. You and your friend, which was a well known musician. A famous one at that. And he wanted you to be in it since well, you’re a dancer and sometimes you sing too. ‘This was the project huh..?’ You thought as you shook you’re head and laughed silently.

“N/N YOU HOE YOU MADE IT!” Your friend, Xai yelled as he hugged you. You hugged him back. “Shut the fuck up bitch, yes i'm here. Now tell me what I have to do nigga” you said teasingly.

He rolls his eyes at you. “You know exactly what to do don’t act” he says walking away. You laugh. “Yeah yeah I hear ya. Now where’s my outfit. This is gonna be so fun” you said with excitement.

A few days later•••

And that is how you ended up with your situation. Apparently you went viral in that music video. You were one of the dancers and one of the background singers. You were dancing with your friend, who’s stage name was Xailli, in a scene and people found you captivating. So now your face was on some of the biggest billboards in the city. And apparently they, meaning your 3 boys, saw you and is now blowing up you’re phone.

“XAI! WHAT THE HELL! I DIDN’T KNOW THAT YOU WERE ACTUALLY PLANNING ON RELEASING IT SO QUICKLY!” You yelled at him on the phone. “I DIDN’T KNOW THEY WERE RELEASING IT EITHER!” He said frustrated. “Oh my god.. and now their blowing up my phone” you said. Right now you were hurrying to drive home.

“Omg I’m gonna get a fucking earful when I get home. And I honestly thought it was supposed to be a rough draft” you sighed. You never told the boys about your secret talents and now you were pretty sure whatever conversation that’s waiting on you wasn’t gonna be a pretty one. “Wait are they planning on releasing the rest?!” You asked expectantly. Xai scratches his head. “You know I’m not even sure no more I’d have to ask but since they can pull shit like this I wouldn’t put it past them..” he answers very frustrated. “Fuck..” you sighed.

“When I see your producers again they getting they ass beat. And why did they make us sign that NDA?” You asked. “Honestly I have no idea. I feel like they tryin to hide sumn but I don’t fucking know” he answered, visibly stressed. “Ah whatever.. I just pulled up outside the house so I’ll talk to you later ok” you said to him. “Alright laterrrrrr” he answered in a singsong voice. “Byeeeeee” you answered as you hung up.

‘Ah fuck..' you thought as you got out of the car and made your way to the front door. You walk up the stairs and go to open the front door when it swung open. You froze. ‘shit! shit! shit!’ You thought. You head was tilted down so all you saw were their feet. You were pretty sure they were starting down on you so you didn’t move an inch.

“Well?” Midoriya said. You didn’t even shift. For some reason you were so nervous that you didn’t even realize you were holding your breath. “Get your ass inside. We need to talk about something that I’m pretty sure you know about” Bakugou said, turning around. The other two men turned around and walked inside the house.

‘Why the actual fuck is this happening right now’ you thought as you walked in the house, head still facing the ground. You put all your stuff by the door and took you shoes off, then just stood there awkwardly. The three men stood in front of you, towering over your body.

“So.. you gonna start explaining? Because we sure as hell would love to know what we saw on the billboards all over the fucking city" Bakugou said. “And look up at us when we’re talkin’ to you” Midoriya says.

‘This is gonna be a fuckin' pain..’ you thought. You stood up straight and look at them dead in the eye. “What do you wanna know?” You asked. They all looked down at you knowingly. “We for one, why the fuck were you on a billboard today?” Bakugou asked. You sighed. “Ok I left you a note saying that I was gonna go to my friend’s house to help them with a project, given I had a feeling it was gonna be a music video but I wasn’t 100% sure” you said honestly. The three men looked at each other, then back at you. “Ok.. so then why didn’t you text us to tell us that’s what you were going to be doing when you found out?” Todoroki questioned. “I couldn’t. For some reason I had to sign an NDA, which I don’t normally have to do” you replied.

“They made you sign an NDA?!” Todoroki asks, concerned. “And you said they usually don’t make you do that..? Does that mean you’ve helped or does these types of things before?” Midoriya asks. “First yes Sho, I’ve been in helping in the music industry and in all my years of doing that I’ve never had to sign an NDA. And secondly, Yes Izu, as I said before I have been helping in this industry for a while.” You answered honestly. The three men stood there bewildered.

“So you’ve been helping with these kinds of things and never told us?” Bakugou asked. “Well yeah I guess.. it really wasn’t a everyday sort of thing. Whenever they called me to help I’d either tell them yes or no.” You answered. “Ok.. so what about the NDA?” Todoroki asks. “Well.. we did multiple videos, meaning music videos, and the producers released the video you saw today without Xai’s permission so I’m not sure what their gonna do now” you answered.

“WAIT THERE’S MORE?!” Bakugou yelled. “Uh.. yeah??” You answered in clear confused. “And they made you sign an NDA?!” Midoriya questioned. “Uhh yeah I’m sorry I don’t get it” you answered back visibly still confused. You looked at the three men who looked at you then looked at each other.

“Yeah we’re going down there NOW!!” Bakugou said, grabbing his jacket. “Wait wait WHAT HOLD ON I DON’T GET IT!” You yelled in confusion. Just then, your phone started ringing. You looked at the caller ID to see it was Xai. You answered it quickly. “Hey what’s up? You good why you calling again?” You asked. “No time to explain but you need to get over here quick. It has to do with the NDA. Turns out the producers and some people on my teams’ been pulling some shit behind the scenes,” he replied. You’re eyes widened at this and then mumbled a quick “thank you” then you hung up.

“They tried to fuck us over.. let’s go” you said as you rushed to the car. The three men looked at each other then proceeded to follow you. “I’m driving” Todoroki said as he took the keys from you. You all jumped in the car and he drove off. After you gave the directions and he got there, there was a spectacle outside. There were news reporters and paparazzi crowded outside. It was the house you shot the music video at, not Xai’s actual house. “For fuck's same how’d they find out already?!” Bakugou yelled. You sighed.

“I’ll handle this” you said as you got out the car. You walked up to the door but before you could get there, there were flashing mics and cameras being stuck up in your face. “Can you please get that away from me?” You asked as you tried to push forward but to no avail. “Excuse me but I think our love said to move back thank you,” Midoriya said, coming out of absolutely nowhere.

And the reporters just stood there in shock. Then the questions started bombarded all of you. You all managed to push through the flood of reporters, granted with Bakugou yelling curses for them to get out of your face. You all managed to get up to the front door. “XAI LET US IN! THESE REPORTERS OUT HERE ALL UP IN OUR FACE!” You yelled over the noise the door swung open and Todoroki pulled you up and walked inside the house with Midoriya and Bakugou quickly following. “Sho why’d you pick me up?” You asked. “I wanted to” he said nonchalantly. You rolled your eyes as he set you down.

“So where’s this Xai person and where can we find his management and team?” Midoriya said seriously. “No shit, they’re not getting away with this” Bakugou said. “I’m Xai and I’m talking to them right now, you can come along if you want to you know,” Xai answered. “You stay here” Midoriya said. “I ain’t staying nowhere,, let’s go,” you said, following Xai. The boys shook their heads at you and followed your lead.

✗ Eventually they got all the information they need and filed a lawsuit. Apparently what was happening was that Xai’s management was trying to squander the resources they have for this project they were currently doing for another. Basically copyright. And therefore they’ve made all who were there sign an NDA so that if this came out to them and those workers realized what they were doing then they wouldn’t be able to say anything.

✗ They got sued of course and Xai had to find new management. And you won the case and everyone was paid the money they deserved. You, on the other hand became a well know singer and dancer after that, with the help of the boys’ support of course. You were happy and so were the boys and you could honestly say that things couldn’t have turned out any better.

©Property of Miashimaa. Please don’t rectify, repost or modify without my permission. Plagiarism will NOT be tolerated.

Taglist: @develith @uniquabackyardigans @unfazedrose @kiribis-confesion-page @darylthekidd @gm4176 @blackweebtrash @erensbbg @shamwizzy @kloudyisdepressed @namjoonswifeyy @cosmiclvsh @bakuhoes-bxtch @morosis-haze @aracynthos @dukina (Open ! click here to be added!)

#— 𝖫𝖤𝖵𝖤𝖫 𝖯𝖠𝖲𝖲𝖤𝖣 #todobakudeku x reader #todoroki fluff #todoroki angst #todoroki x black!reader #todoroki x poc!reader #bakugou fluff #bakugou angst #bakugou x black!reader #bakugou x poc!reader #deku fluff #deku angst #deku x black!reader #deku x poc! reader

487 notes · View notes

gladerwolfstarkimagines · 3 years

Text

Mesmerised: Mai x female reader - Imagine being a singer and capturing the attention of the stoic knife expert herself.

Mai’s POV

Mai had never liked singing.

Ever.

She found every singer hurt her ears or was just dreadfully dull. She was sure music was the most over-rated form of art....until she heard you sing.

Mai was truly perplexed and intrigued by her fondness for your singing, it was almost unantural the effect it had on her and Mai had no idea why it affected her so much. She had been walking home one day when your voice drifted out from a cafe. It had tugged at her and she found herself slowing down. She’d never heard a voice like yours. There was something so appealing about it, something so...emotion-provoking, Mai actually felt something stir in her. This had never happened to her and Mai was both surprised and alarmed at the sensation. She carried on walking and shrugged it off but you lingered on her mind. She wondered who sang like that and why she hadn’t heard that song before. It was comforting and beautiful but she knew she had never experienced anything like it before. Your voice played over and over again in her head until finally, Mai gave in. She walked back to the cafe at the same time the next day and ordered a drink. She noticed there was a stage so she took a seat with a good view and waited. As time ticked by she was ready to leave and abandon her fool's errand when you appeared. When she saw you she just knew you were that beautiful voice. Sure enough, when you started to sing the same sensation swept over her, she felt an odd array of emotions and was transfixed by every word. She finally got what people meant when they said music moved them and she liked it. But this new sensation only applied to your music specifically. She realised with an abrupt reminder as the next artist began to perform that she still hated all other music and so she sought yours out to pinpoint exactly what it was that she liked. She came back to the same cafe the next night and then the next and before long she had your schedule memorised. She also learnt the other places you sang at and went to them too. She was slowly becoming a stalker or groupie or something but she still hadn’t figured out what it was that transfixed her and so she came back night after night just to listen to you.

Your POV

You sang at an array of fire nation cafes but even with the hundreds of bars and cafes in the fire nation capital it was difficult to make ends meet. But you’d sought a creative career in a country that favoured efficiency and concrete solutions, what did you expect? You really were a dreamer. You’d noticed this girl had been in the main cafe you sang at every single night you’d been there. Maybe it was just a coincidence and she came here every night anyway but you noticed her in the crowd a lot and hoped she was here for you. She was so mysterious and impressive. She just looked cool and emanated power dressed from head to toe in long black clothes lined sparsely with red. She was very beautiful and you wondered more and more about her every day, what her story was, where she was from, what she did for a living, just everything and anything about her. One day you got your wish.

You stepped outside the bar after a successful gig and there was the girl. She was waiting on the corner yards away from you. She turned as you came outside and your breath caught in your throat. You looked at one another and she stared at you. Her eyes were concentrated and serious adding to her mysterious powerful persona. You blushed at her intense gaze and looked away. She darted her eyes away too but you noticed she kept glancing back over at you. She stepped towards you when suddenly a pink blur appeared. "Mai!" the pink girl cried and she wrapped her arms around her.

So her name was Mai?

You smiled, it suited her.

Mai’s POV

"I’ve missed you so much" Ty lee cried still hugging her and Mai let her having learned a long time ago the easiest thing to do was just let Ty lee hug you. "It’s only been a day since we last saw each other" Mai replied dryly."Well you’re so great i missed you even after that amount of time" Ty lee cried kissing Mai’s cheek. Mai rubbed at it annoyed, she didn’t want you getting the wrong idea and thinking Ty lee was her girlfriend. She looked back to see if you were watching and found your spot empty. You’d left. "Is everything okay?". Ty lee asked noticing Mai was staring and she nodded "yeah it’s fine, let's go" and they made their way home.

“We’re home!” Ty lee called as the door swung open and Suki appeared in the corridor “Mai! How was your visit to your family?”. “Boring” she shrugged before pausing “Tomtom is getting so big now” she smiled softly. Suki nodded “I bet! I thought your ship got in at 6?”. “It did, I swung by the lavender inn”. Suki frowned “again? You’ve been going there a lot" she commented and Mai shrugged "i like it there". "Why? It’s not that nice a place" Ty lee frowned and Mai paused "i...i like the staff". When Suki and Ty lee hesitated Mai rushed to cover her back "they serve me quickly, have my order memorised and leave me alone for hours, it’s bliss". Mai could hardly tell them she actually went to lots of different cafes and bars because of a girl and not just any girl but a singer! She knew they’d tease her endlessly for liking a girl so unlike herself and Mai had berated herself over that but she couldn’t help it. You were simply her guilty pleasure and she had no intention of letting you go.

1 day later

Mai showed up at your usual place the next day and took her regular seat. She was relaxed and ready to hear your music when another girl walked on stage instead. She introduced herself and began to sing. Mai frowned, where were you? She wondered if maybe this girl was the warm-up act but as time stretched on Mai wasn’t so sure. More than a little disappointed Mai discreetly made her way towards the exit. A door leading to the back room opened and Mai heard an argument within. She paused as she recognised your voice. Mai stood casually by the door and listened to what she could hear. You were arguing with someone and it appeared to be over your wages. "I can get more money if I bring in more singers!" a man said and Mai heard you sigh “I’ve had this spot for a year! You can’t just half it, I rely on tips, this will kill my takings”. “That’s not my problem” the man retorted “you either perform here for half the time or go find somewhere else, singers are easy to replace, there are hundreds of performers exactly like you”. You laughed “no there’s not but good look finding one! You can stuff your slot!” you cried and before Mai could react you stormed out from the door past her and exited the cafe. Mai paused and waited an appropriate amount of time before following you. She looked around and saw you’d walked away from the cafe a few feet before you sat on the pavement your head in your hands. Mai watched you, clearly upset, and wondered what she should do...despite her better judgement Mai approached you. "Hey" Mai said and you paused and looked up. "I saw you storm out of the cafe...are you okay?". You nodded your head, your eyes darting over her "i’m fine i just got fired...or quit? I don’t know" you shook your head and Mai frowned. "Well it’s their loss, you're the best performer here". You glanced at Mai curiously "i am?". Mai nodded "i’ve heard you sing quite a few times and nobody sounds like you or does your style...they’ll regret it". You smiled "i have seen you around before and the other night on the corner with your girlfriend!". Mai paused and cursed Ty lee. "That was me but Ty lee isn’t my girlfriend, i don’t have a girlfriend...at least not yet" Mai said and cringed at herself. She wanted you to know she was single and that she liked girls but she’d been so obvious! You chuckled slightly and Mai’s blush rose. "Good to know, your names Mai right?". Mai nodded her head. "My names y/n, it’s nice to finally meet you". Mai smiled "it is". Your eyes met and you looked away first blushing slightly which aided the recovery of Mai’s ego a little. "Can i ask you something?" Mai said fuelled by her burst of confidence. You nodded and she took a breath "so i hate singing, any form of music basically makes me sick to my stomach but i don’t hate yours, I don’t even dislike it!". You paused before smirking "thank you?". "No that didn’t come out right...what i meant was i like your music better than anyone else's and i’ve honestly never heard anyone sing the way you do, so my question is what's your inspiration? Why do you sing so differently?". You paused, that was a big question and you weren’t sure where to start. “Well I mean I’ve always liked to sing, music was my favourite lesson in school but I found there were too many restraints on it! Don’t move when you’re singing, don’t stray from the century-year-old anthems, don’t add any personality to it...” you sighed “I always found it so odd and cruel that we weren’t allowed to just express ourselves but nobody else seemed to, they all called me odd for wanting to sing in a different key or learn a different song. I didn’t fit in with the conventional music...so i quit music classes and practised music in my own way, I found a library book of old songs from before firelord Azulon’s era, apparently they were deemed too unconventional and weak for traditional fire nation custom but I loved them! The songs weren’t harsh or imposing, they were delicate but powerful, emotional but liberating! After I learnt all of those I decided to make more. I’ve developed hundreds of adaptations but the style stayed the same because it feels so free and creative, so un-fire nation. So long story short i guess my style is so different because i rebel against anything that fits with fire nation tradition. I know it’s sacrilegious" you grinned "but i sometimes feel so trapped by all our customs and rules...singing is my rebellion". Mai smiled and you blushed as silence settled "i bet that sounds so overdramatic". Mai shook her head "i know a little about rebelling against the fire nation, it makes sense. It makes me like you...i mean your music even more" Mai said going red. She heard you chuckle under your breath and cursed herself. You went to speak when a voice called out your name. You stood up and waved to the figure "my ride is here". Mai looked down the street where a girl was waiting for you and frowned. She’d embarrassed herself enough so why not push a little more? "Ow...your girlfriend?". You smiled at Mai’s not so subtle question and looked at her "no Loren is just a friend. I don’t have a girlfriend...at least not yet" you said mimicking her earlier response and Mai blushed. "Good to know" Mai said copying you and you smiled at her. "So i should go but it was really nice talking to you Mai, I’ll hopefully see you around?". Mai nodded "yeah I hope so too" and with a smile, you disappeared.

Mai was in excellent spirits when she got home. Not only had she talked to you but she’d flirted (well an attempt at flirting) and she was fairly sure you flirted back. However the best thing was you liked girls and currently didn’t have a girlfriend. Mai kept replaying the smirk on your face when you said “not yet” and was ashamed at the light blush it caused. Things couldn't have gone better and hopefully she’d see you again soon.

Man I love Mai!

She’s in my top 3 for Avatar characters but I find her quite hard to write for because half of her scenes revolve around Zuko so it’s hard to write for her alone when we’ve got so little Mai content!

But either way, this idea came to when I was listening to this classical Chinese song titled 芒种 by 音阙诗听 & 赵方婧 and it’s honestly the most beautiful song i’ve ever heard so I’d really recommend giving it a listen a https://youtu.be/8L2ds1XxrvA. I always have one song on repeat for every imagine I write but this song totally inspired this whole piece and this is how I imagine the reader sings.

Life story over, I hoped you enjoyed the soft cute Mai content!

#mai #mai x reader #mai imagine #atla mai #avatar mai #avatar the last airbender #avatar the last airbender imagine #avatar the last airbender mai #ty lee #suki #fire nation #atla ty lee #atla suki #avatar ty lee #avatar suki #ozais angels

58 notes · View notes

just-jordie-things · 4 years

Note

hi i love your writing so much!! could i request 28 & 58 with Sokka? thank you!! :)

prompt 28: first kiss prompt 58: moving around while kissing, stumbling over things, pushing each other back against the wall/onto the bed ___

“It’s just not fair,” You muttered, slumping down against Appa’s saddle, and crossing your arms as you pouted. “How have all of you been kissed?” You asked your friends.

They kind of just shrugged their shoulders, not knowing what to say.

“I mean, Zuko?” You threw your hands into the air, making the firebender gape in offense. “Even you?”

“Hey!” He whined.

You rolled your eyes, and rolled your head back on the saddle to look at the stars above you.

“It’s bullshit. I’m seventeen, and no one has ever thought of me as worthy of a kiss. Unfair”

“Well, have you had boyfriends?” Suki asked.

“There was Jet” Katara said, meant as a tease, but you shot her a glare, not wanting to be reminded of Jet’s weird infatuation with you.

“Not really” You grumbled in response.

“I’ve never been kissed” Toph cuts in, trying to make you feel better, but it doesn’t quite work.

“You don’t understand affection, you don’t like it” You remind her.

“Can’t argue with that,” She says with a bark of a laugh. “Don’t know why you want to be kissed, boys are the worst anyways”

Your eyes glance at Sokka, who quickly looks down at his lap to avoid your gaze. Your heart drops to your stomach and you lean your head back again. You don’t want to think about your stupid crush who seems to hit on every girl except you.

“Yeah,” You mutter back to the blind earth bender. “They’re the fucking worst” __

Once you got to the island, Zuko showed you to his old family vacation home, which would serve as your shelter for the next few days, before Sozin’s Comet.

It was definitely the nicest place you’ve ever gotten to stay during all of your travels, and you had to be grateful to sleep in a real bed, even if the Fire Nation property gave you the creeps.

You were settling in for the night, unpacking the few items you owned and eagerly pulling back the covers of the bed, your features lighting up at the comfortable and inviting mattress.

That was when there was a knock on your doorframe.

You perked up to see Sokka there, standing awkwardly in the hall, not wanting to walk into your space without your invitation. You gave him a small smile and waved him in.

“Hey, what’s up?” You asked, going back to sorting through the clothes in your luggage.

While you were preoccupied trying to figure out what needed to be washed and what didn’t, Sokka was nervously fiddling his hands together as he waited for your attention. It took a few seconds, but eventually you could feel his anxiousness wafting off of him, and you turned to him.

“Something wrong?” You asked, your brows furrowed.

“No, not really, I just... um... I...”

His stammering puzzled you, and you recognized his nervous tick as he brought his hand to the back of his neck.

“I felt bad, about what you were saying earlier, so I wanted to come in here and... um...”

He trailed off again, and you cocked your head to the side.

“About the kiss thing?” You asked, and he nodded. “You have nothing to feel bad for Sokka, I don’t need you to pity me,” You told him. “It sucks, but it’s got nothing to do with you”

“Well I thought-”

“Seriously, I don’t need you to feel bad for me,” You repeated yourself before he could make you feel worse. “Trust me, the last thing I need is you of all people sympathizing over me. In fact, let’s just not talk about it anymore because I’ll only feel-”

Before you could finish your rambling, Sokka had flown towards you, his hands cupping around your cheeks and bringing your lips to his in a fast and heated kiss.

Your eyes widened for a moment, but just as quickly fluttered shut as you melted against him. You lowered yourself from your tiptoes, and slowly, your hands fell against his chest.

He pulls away, and neither of you open your eyes for a second as you both catch your breaths, and let it sink in what just happened.

“Why... why did you do that?” You murmured, your eyelashes fluttering as you looked up at him.

His own eyes flickered over your features before he smiled softly at you.

“I just wanted your first kiss to be special,” He mumbles, his thumbs slowly tracing her your cheekbones. “And from someone that cares about you, not just some random guy”

You’re flustered, your heart is doing somersaults and you’re a blushing mess, but you still manage to tease him.

“You sayin’ you care about me, Sokka?” You asked, gently blowing at his ribs.

“Care about you?” He repeats with a scoff. “I’ve been in love with you for ages”

Your smile falls slightly at the confession, the surprise making you freeze up as your eyes widen.

He takes your expression as the first step of rejection, and drops his hands from your face.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

Now it’s your turn to surprise him, as your hands seize his, and you lean up to capture his lips again.

It’s only your second kiss ever, but it’s explosive, and more than you ever could have fantasized about. You wonder if that’s what kissing is always like, or if that’s just Sokka.

As his soft lips slide expertly over yours, meeting them in sync and progressively becoming longer and deeper with every kiss, you decide it’s just Sokka.

You bring his hands to your waist, before throwing your arms around his neck so you can pull him down lower to meet your height. You kiss him enthusiastically, and you have a tough time biting back your smile.

A part of you wants to shut the door in case anyone were to walk by, but you just couldn’t be bothered to break apart from Sokka for longer than the half second it took to catch your breath, so you pay it no mind.

You pull him backwards, until the back of your legs hit your bed, and then you tug some more until he gets the hint and pushes you with all the gentleness he can back onto the mattress, following you down and propping one hand next to your head so he didn’t completely crush you.

You’re quick to shove all your things off the bed, not caring that your clothes would be in a lump on the floor and all need washing the next day. And then your hands are pawing at the material of Sokka’s shirt so you can tug him over you.

As you move back to be laying completely, and more comfortably, on the mattress you smile up at him, and your hands softly slide over his jaw, before mapping out the rest of his face.

“I love you too” You murmur, pulling him down closer to you, until his chest falls over yours, and your noses bump together delicately.

His free hand falls to your face, pushing your hair back before splaying his fingers over your skin. You blush from the way he looks at you, and you want to look away, but you just can’t, his eyes were too beautiful.

“You’re gorgeous,” He whispers, as though reading your thoughts. “And so very worthy of kissing”

You giggle softly, nervously, as he leans down to kiss you chastely.

He pulls too far away, and you chase his lips, but his hand brings your head back down against the mattress.

“Jet did try to ask you out” He admits, seemingly out of nowhere, and you furrow your brows.

“Why are you telling me this now?” You ask, and again try to kiss him, but he turns his head away.

“Because I told him not to”

Your confused look doesn’t go away, but you don’t look hurt like he thought you’d be.

“Why?”

“Pick a reason, he sucked” Sokka tried to laugh, but the sound was forced, and awkward.

“Well, yeah,” You agreed. “But what’d you tell him?”

“When he told me he had a crush on you, and, he, uh, wanted to ask you out... I told him that you were my girlfriend”

“Oh”

“And then I threatened him”

“Oh”

“And then when he said he was going to go for it anyways, and said some stupid shit about how you wanted him, I hit him”

“Oh my spirits,” You giggled, which wasn’t the reaction that he’d expected from you at all. “Sokka, that’s so ridiculous. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Your hands wrap around the nape of his neck, fingers drawing shapes in his skin soothingly. It eases Sokka’s anxiety, if only for a brief moment.

“Because I was jealous and it was dumb and I didn’t think it mattered at the time”

“Well, then, why are you telling me now?” You ask, quirking a brow.

“Because I don’t want to keep anything from you because I love you and that wasn’t a fair thing for me to do”

You hum, appreciative and a little shocked by his complete honesty.

“I mean, it was weird, that’s for sure,” You tell him. “But it was completely fair, Jet was... the worst,”

Sokka gives you a small smile, glad that you weren’t upset with him since it was so long ago.

“But I’m more frustrated that you had to bring him up now,” You added, nodding between the two of you. “Things were kinda just getting good and you had to bring up that freakin’ guy?”

Sokka laughs, and he doesn’t waste a second before he’s leaning down and pressing his lips to yours again.

You sigh contentedly, and fall in love with him all over again. He was a dork, a jealous dork with apparently a bit of anxiety, but he was all yours. And you were all his. ___

xoxo ~ jordie

#sokka #sokka x reader #atla #sokka imagine #sokka scenario

150 notes · View notes

gaangadventures · 4 years

Note

Hi! I’ve just found your blog and will you marry me?!? AANG CONTENT?!?? ! I saw the requests open and if you’re still open for them could I request a Zuko x reader? Zukos been awed by readers sheer power over and over cus he’s a sucker for strong women. And when he joins the gaang he is soo smitten with the reader and every one sees it but the oblivious reader. And he enventually asks for everyone’s help but during the ember island play she finds out cause they over dramatize his big crush?

Awww! We should probably meet before getting married lol Sorry for taking so long with the request, life has been kicking my butt. Here you go! c:

As a former citizen of a small village in the Earth Kingdom, you always longed for adventure and there weren’t many ways to leave your family farm. Or at least not without having to take something from them, and you had refused to. You knew they had little enough already.

But it was different one day, after meeting the avatar himself and his friends. As an earthbender, you weren’t sure where you could go but you wanted to go everywhere. And if you could beat up some Fire Nation soldiers, then you would be having the time of your life.

You had gone into the market for some feed for the lone ostrich horse, and a few of the Fire Nation soldiers had caught wind of the avatar. You were sure that he could actually take them down himself, but you weren’t exactly going to test that theory, and you trapped them in pillars of earth before helping the group out of the market and towards your family farm.

That was how you had met them anyway, and you had asked to join them that day. You hadn’t exactly expected them to say yes either, but they had, and you were overjoyed. So were they, but you assumed that Katara was more or less just glad to not be the only girl there.

Shortly after you joined however, the adventure you always wanted seemed to be a bit much at times.

First, there was the general that actively tried to get Aang into the avatar state and had put all of you in danger for it. Then there were the nomads that you had wanted to leave in the tunnels, you couldn’t believe how carefree they could be in the middle of a war. Even after all that your group had done to get into Omashu, you all found out that the Fire Nation had overtaken it and that Aang had to find an earthbending teacher himself. You offered, but you still had much to learn for it yourself.

And your least favorite place happened to be the swamp. Everyone there had visions of some person they already met and lost or in Aang’s case, were going to meet. You however, had a vision of your family. You had left them, and who knows if you would see them again, but you kept reminding yourself that it was okay, and they understood why you did.

The next place was some odd avatar-hating village, and Aang got arrested. But it was okay, because the day had ended with him out of prison, you beating up some soldiers, and some weird dough-like thing that you immediately spat out after tasting.

In another Earth Kingdom town, your group had gone to an underground earthbending tournament which you had a blast watching. You had wanted to participate as well, but ended up following the rest of them as they looked for the Blind Bandit. The day went well, considering Aang had managed to get an earthbending teacher and so had you, despite her parents originally saying no. You had assumed that her parents never changed her mind like she said, having done the same thing with your own.

After Toph had joined, there was a strange metal contraption constantly following them by way of Appa’s fur trail. It had turned out to be the Fire Nation princess herself, and her two nonbending but still dangerous friends. You had helped Sokka and Katara with the other two that you had yet to learn the names of, while Aang was dealing with the last one. There was a fight because of course there was, you were starting to wonder just how many more fights you would have to go through in this. That was not to say you didn’t like to fight. You excelled at it.

That had also been the first time you had actually met the Prince Zuko that had literally followed them around the nations, and the first thing you wanted to know was where his ponytail had gone. Sokka had made sure to tell you all about it, but had left out the fact that he could actually be considered attractive, not that you would say that part out loud, and especially not when he was your enemy as well.

You had definitely been thrown for a loop when Azula had shot Iroh with lightning, only for Zuko to refuse help from any of you, even though Katara would have been the only one able to actually help.

Your second least favorite place was the desert, even though you thought the library had been amazing, apart from Wan Shi Tong getting upset that you guys had actually only come to learn how to defeat the Fire Nation. But Appa had gone missing, and you were absolutely convinced none of that was Toph’s fault. Another part of the desert that you didn’t like much were the buzzard wasps, but at least you had begun learning how to bend sand, which was definitely odd.

On your way to Ba Sing Se, they ended up meeting a few old friends of theirs, the Kyoshi Warriors and you had been quick to introduce yourself as well. Mostly since you had grown up hearing about them, and how amazing they would be, you really aspired to be more like them.

Of course, the ticket lady wouldn’t let any of you get onto the ferry without passports, and Toph had managed to get all of you, only for the group to go the other route to Ba Sing Se when a pregnant lady and her husband had mentioned that their things were stolen. The Serpent’s Pass, you thought was aptly named when going through it. The serpent was terrifying, and you severely hoped that you wouldn’t have to go that way again.

But at least you had made it through before Ying had her baby, which you thought was surprising considering she was quite far along. She asked you if you wanted to hold her, and you declined, having held more babies in your life than you probably would have liked, not to mention you hadn’t particularly wanted to hold any more. At least for now.

The new family had separated from you and your own group when you finally reached Ba Sing Se, only to find out that the Fire Nation trio was back again and they were trying to take down the wall with another metal thing. You had been helping Toph and Katara bend the awful rock and water combination and successfully kept a few of them back that way.

Ba Sing Se was a horrible city in your opinion, the Dai Li only being a part of it, but you were having a big issue with how the poor had less opportunities and the like.

You were partially glad when you left with the group, but heavily concerned for the avatar you’d come to think of as a younger brother. He had been shot with lightning and actually died, it was a miracle when Katara had healed him.

The weeks passing seemed to grow longer and longer, and nobody said it but everyone could tell that there was a lot of concern and worry for Aang when he hadn’t woke up. You spent your days learning how to bend metal like Toph, and it had taken you a while to even start.

Once he was awake however, you had to leave the boats you’d grown somewhat accustomed to and wait for the solar eclipse to grow nearer.

Unfortunately where you had to wait happened to be in the Fire Nation itself, and you hadn’t exactly wanted for more red in your wardrobe but it couldn’t be helped.

The next month or so, you weren’t sure how long it actually had been and couldn’t be bothered to remember, Katara had helped a coast village with its sick by posing as a river spirit and had even blown up a Fire Nation factory with Aang and finally scared the soldiers away from the town by continuing the ruse. Sokka had acquired a master of his own and made his own sword out of a piece of rock that fell from the sky. Toph had been scamming people in town, occasionally with your help but you ended up stopping when you thought that it would be too obvious. Katara had ended up finding another Southern Water Tribe bender, but unfortunately due to decades of being in prison had gone mad and had been kidnapping innocent people and trapping them under a mountain.

Hama had actually terrified you more than anything else had, but you couldn’t help but pity her at first. Your empathy had been shut off when you saw how Katara had to bloodbend her that night, and how upset she was.

The day of the invasion had been off to a good start, but it had been cut short when everyone learned that the Fire Nation already knew of the solar eclipse and had planned for it.

All of you had regrouped, apart from the adults that had gotten arrested for being a part of the invasion, and had gone to the Western Air Temple. Having never gone to any of the air temples yourself, you had quite a bit of fun exploring this one.

When the prince himself appeared and offered to be Aang’s firebending teacher, you wanted to throw a rock in his face and probably would’ve, had anyone else started a fight. It had been his choice to join his sister in Ba Sing Se, and now he wanted to join the group that he’d been chasing this entire time? Needless to say, you held a grudge against him, and you wouldn’t hesitate to earthbend him to the edge of the cliff if he tried anything.

The next day however, Toph returned with burned feet and Zuko had come back yet again. After his apologies, Aang had accepted him as his firebending teacher shortly after that.

It seemed like everyone but the ones that could earthbend had gone on a field trip with him, oddly enough, when Aang and Zuko had gone to learn real firebending, then it was Sokka and Zuko apparently breaking Hakoda and Suki out of prison but they also brought back a prisoner named Chit Sang too. Then it was Katara’s turn, and she went with him to confront the man who killed her mother. Thankfully, she hadn’t killed him.

Instead of camping out, Zuko had offered up a new place to sleep at, and it was a house that apparently no one goes anymore. You were a little weirded out at the thought of it, and Katara thought so too.

“Doesn’t it seem weird that we’re living in the Fire Lord’s own house?

“I told you, my father hasn’t come here since our family was actually happy. And that was a long time ago. It’s the last place anyone would think to look for us.”

“True, but still weird.” You piped up, doing your own stretches as the two firebenders had finished with their training.

“You guys are not gonna believe this. There’s a play about us.” Sokka said, walking out onto the courtyard with Suki, holding a rolled up poster, looking awfully smug.

“We were just in town, and we found this poster.” Suki continued, while Sokka rolled out the poster and held it up so all of you could see it.

“What? How is that possible?”

“Listen to this.” Sokka started, before beginning to read off the poster itself. “The boy in the iceberg is a new production from acclaimed playwright Puan Tin who scoured the globe, gathering information on the avatar from the icy South Pole to the heart of Ba Sing Se. His sources include singing nomads, pirates, prisoners of war, and a surprisingly knowledgeable merchant of cabbage.”

“Brought to you by the critically acclaimed Ember Island players.” Suki finished, before Zuko began to groan.

“Ugh. My mother used to take us to see them. They butchered “Love Amongst the Dragons” every year.”

“Sokka, do you really think it’s a good idea for us to attend a play about ourselves?”

“Come on, a day at the theater? This is the kind of wacky, time-wasting nonsense I;ve been missing.” And with that answer, you all headed out to the theater to see whatever play this would end up being.

Upon arriving, you all settled down into the seats, Katara sitting next to Toph and you sitting next to her, much to Aang’s disappointment, you were sure. You expected Aang to just sit down next to you, but no, Zuko had.

“Why are we sitting in the nosebleed section? My feet can’t see a thing from up here.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll tell your feet what’s happening.” Katara answered to Toph, while your gaze was awaiting on the curtains.

They opened to show what was supposed to Katara and Sokka on a boat in the sea, back in the South Pole you assumed. You almost laughed at Sokka’s excitement to notice the two when he grabbed his sister’s shoulder and pointed from each other back and forth.

“Sokka, my only brother.” The fake Katara let out a sigh, dramatically gesturing to the painted “ice glaciers” on her side. “We constantly roam these icy south pole seas, and yet, never do we find anything fulfilling.”

“All I want is a full feeling in my stomach. I’m starving.” ‘Sokka’ responded, making the real Katara and Sokka give each other a look as the audience burst into laughter.

“Is food the only thing that’s on your mind?”

“Well, I’m trying to get it out of my mind and in my mouth. I’m starving.”

“Is that all that guy says?” You grimaced, starting to dread when your character showed up.

“This is pathetic. My jokes are way funnier than this.” Sokka exclaimed, while Toph laughed at him.

“I think he’s got you pegged.” With that, the rest of you turned back to the play.

“Every day, the world awaits a beacon to guide us, yet none appears. Still, we cannot give up hope, for hope is all we have and we must never relinquish it, even. . . Even to our dying breath.” Fake Katara began to sob, and you drew in a breath through your teeth when Katara crossed her arms.

“Well, that’s just silly. I don’t sound like that.”

“You have your moments.” You admitted, but even you would agree that this was an exaggeration for sure.

“Oh man, this writer’s a genius.” At least Toph was having fun.

“It appears to be someone frozen in ice, perhaps for 100 years.” ‘Katara’ said, when a light shone down onto a floating iceberg.

“But who? Who is the boy in the iceberg?” Fake Sokka asked, the two climbing up the iceberg.

“Waterbend, hi-ya!” Fake Katara cried out, drawing her hand down as if to actually crack the ‘iceberg’ herself, only for it to break and reveal fake Aang, whose actor was a girl apparently.

“Who are you, frozen boy?

“I’m the avatar, silly, here to spread joy and fun.” ‘Aang’ giggled, and you looked to the avatar himself, only to see him frowning deeply.

“Wait, is that a woman playing me?” He asked, right as a fake Appa showed up and went around the iceberg in a circle while fake Katara gasped.

“An airbender. My heart is so full of hope that it’s making me tear-bend.” She began to fake sob, falling to her knees and grabbing onto fake Aang’s leg.

“My stomach is so empty that it’s making me tear-bend.” Fake Sokka cried out, falling to his knees as well and grabbing onto ‘Aang’s’ other leg. “I need meat.” With that, you really couldn’t help but laugh, even when both Katara and Sokka were beginning to glare at you.

“But wait! Is that a platter of meaty dumplings?” The actress for Aang mentioned, pointing up at nothing in particular.

“Ooh, where, where?” ‘Sokka’ quickly asked, only for ‘Aang’ to start laughing.

“Did I mention that I’m an incurable prankster?”

“I don’t do that. That’s not what i’m like. And I’m not a woman.”

“Oh they nailed you, Twinkletoes.” Toph joked, laughing at the play as she basically had been this entire time.

A new boat showed up on the stage, this time carrying Zuko and his uncle.

“Prince Zuko, you must try this cake.” ‘Iroh’ offered, while fake Zuko was looking out at sea with a telescope.

“I don’t have time to stuff my face. I must capture the avatar to regain my honor.”

“Well, while you do that, maybe I’ll capture another slice.” Fake Iroh said, before literally shoving the cake into his face and eating.

“You sicken me.” ‘Zuko’ said, with a disgusted look on his face, and you let out a laugh.

“They make me look totally stiff and humorless.”

“Actually, I think that actor’s pretty spot-on.” Katara joked, and Zuko had been quick to turn to her.

“How could you say that?

“Let’s forget about the avatar and get massages.”

“How could you say that?” Fake Zuko cried out at Iroh’s suggestion, only for you to laugh when you saw the look on Zuko’s face.

The scene panned out to show Aang the actress at the Southern Air Temple, with a tail sticking out of the fake bushes.

“Hey, look! I think I found something.” Fake Aang kept digging into the bushes, only to come back out with a fake puppet of Momo on his shoulder and a fake arm hanging from his side. “A flying rabbit-monkey! I think I’ll name him Momo.” He laughed, before moving the puppet so it would look like it was talking.

“Hi, everybody. I love you.” At the sight of it, both you and Aang let out a low groan. Momo did not deserve this slander.

With another scene, it showed a Kyoshi Warrior, which you assumed was supposed to be Suki before ‘Sokka’ came out, dressed in the same Kyoshi Warrior ensemble.

“Does this dress make my butt look fat?” He said, making the real Suki laugh, as you turned to look at the couple.

“So nobody told me you were a Kyoshi Warrior? I do have a question though. Did you look as good as Suki does?” You couldn’t help but tease him, although this was definitely bringing up some topics that you had missed out on.

The scene changed yet again, but this time was showing what was supposed to be King Bumi. Was he really that buff?

“Riddles and challenges must you face if you are ever to leave this place.” It showed fake Aang pushing a boulder, fake Sokka running from a gorilla rabbit, and fake Katara groaning as she was trapped in crystals.

It cut to a different part of the play, showing a pirate boat and pirates began to surround the trio. The pirates continued to fight each other as the trio actually got out quite safely.

“Why did you have to steal that waterbending scroll?” Fake Sokka asked as they crept away from the pirates.

“It just gave me so much hope.” Fake Katara answered, sobbing yet again.

“I really hope my character isn’t as bad.” You added, wearing a grimace, since you knew Katara didn’t cry nearly as many times as this one made her out to be like.

“The avatar is mine!” Fake Zuko cried out, while fake Aang was chained to a wall with soldiers surrounding him. “Wait, who’s coming?” He pointed to a different part of the stage where a person with a large blue demon-like mask held dao swords.

“I am the blue spirit, the scourge of the Fire Nation, here to save the avatar.” He exclaimed, before the soldiers began to drop to the ground dramatically and he somehow defeated fake Zuko as well as simultaneously untying fake Aang.

“My hero.” ‘Aang’ said, before leaving the stage with the blue spirit.

The scene changed, and it showed a sobbing ‘Katara’ with a fake Jet, hanging from a rope.

“Don’t cry, baby. Jet will wipe out that nasty town for you.”

“Oh, Jet. You’re so bad.” Toph laughed, while Katara tried to hide her face, and you just lightly patted her shoulder with a slight look of pity.

“Look! It’s the Great Divide. The biggest canyon in the Earth Kingdom.” Aang mentioned, standing atop fake Appa.

“Eh, let’s keep flying.” Fake Sokka shrugged, while you only leaned back into your seat.

“Don’t go, Yue. You’re the only woman who’s ever taken my mind off of food.” The two actors dramatically kiss, before fake Sokka turns away with a gag. “Wait, did you have pickled fish for dinner?”

“Goodbye, Sokka. I have important moon duties to take care of. And yes, I did have pickled fish.” Fake Yue said, going up into the sky with the moon.

“You never told me you made out with the moon spirit.” Suki chuckled, and you glanced at the couple to see tears in Sokka’s eyes as he shushed her.

“Shh, I’m trying to watch.” Turning back to look at the stage, you saw the actress for Aang in a fish spirit costume, crushing fake fire Nation ships.

“The avatar is back to save the day! Yay!” He said, kicking and stomping on the rest of the fake ships before falling onto the floor as the curtains closed.

“So far, this intermission is the best part of the play.” Zuko mentioned when all of you sat on the steps outside of the theater.

“Apparently, the playwright thinks I’m an idiot who tells bad jokes about meat all the time.” Sokka angrily shoved jerky into his mouth, as Suki teased him.

“Yeah, you tell bad jokes about plenty of other topics.”

“I know!”

“At least the Sokka actor kind of looks like you. That woman playing the avatar doesn’t resemble at all.” Aang lamented, putting his hands over his head, as Toph shrugged.

“I don’t know. You are more in touch with your feminine side than most guys.” With that, Aang groaned and Katara interrupted when he stood up.

“Relax, Aang. They’re not accurate portrayals. It’s not like I’m a preachy crybaby who can’t resist giving over-emotional speeches about hope all the time.” Everyone had clearly been looking at her but nobody said a word, until she asked. “What?”

“Yeah, that’s not you at all.” Aang backed her up, sitting back down and rubbing the back of his neck.

“Listen, friends. It’s obvious that the playwright did his research. I know it must hurt, but what you’re seeing up there on that stage is the truth.” Toph offered, and you tilted your head.

“Not quite I don’t think, this is definitely exaggerated.”

As the group went back into the theater, the scene was apparently when you had met the group, seeing as it looked like your hometown.

“Well, here we are in the Earth Kingdom.”

“I’d better have a look around to see if I can find an earthbending teacher.”

“Hey, is that the avatar? Get him!” A Fire Nation soldier exclaimed, pointing at fake Aang, when fake you appeared on the stage.

“No, don’t take him! I need to leave this town and abandon my family forever!” ‘You’ cried out, fake earthbending the soldiers out before running with the group. “I don’t want to live on this farm anymore! I want to beat up people!”

You grimaced at their portrayal of you, but at least the actress looked somewhat like you, even if the personality was quite a bit off.

“That’s not. . Quite true.” You added, seeing fake you leave with the rest of them.

The scene was changed into another Earth Kingdom town, and you assumed this was where Toph showed up.

“Well, here we are in the Earth Kingdom again. So we can find an actual earthbending teacher.” Fake Katara repeated, the four of them standing next to a suspiciously large rock.

“This must be where I come in.” Toph whispered as fake Aang ‘flew’ around the audience with a rope.

“I flew all over town, but I couldn’t find a single earthbending master.”

“Here it comes.” Toph said, leaning forward in her seat.

“You can’t find an earthbending master in the sky. You have to look underground.” Fake Toph was apparently a very large and buff man, throwing the fake rock off stage. Which only caused everyone but Toph to start laughing, yourself included.

“Who are you?” Fake Aang asked, as fake Toph spat away from him, before proudly pointing to himself before beginning to flex his arms.

“My name’s Toph, because it sounds like tough, and that’s just what I am.”

“Wait a minute. I sound like a guy. A really buff guy.” Toph said, already starting to smile when Katara turned to her.

“Well Toph, what you hear up there is the truth. It hurts, doesn’t it?”

“Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t have cast it any other way. At least it’s not a flying bald lady.” Toph answered, making Aang frown as you bit back a snicker.

“So you’re blind?” ‘Aang’ asked, waving his hand in front of ‘Toph’.

“I can see you doing that. I see everything that you see, except I don’t see like you do. I release a sonic wave from my mouth.” Fake Toph explained before beginning to scream, causing everyone in the audience to flinch, apart from the actual Toph of course, who only grinned. “There. I got a pretty good look at you.”

The scene changed to show Iroh and Zuko who apparently had long hair now.

“Zuko, it’s time we had a talk about your hair. It’s gone too far.”

“Maybe it’s best if we split up.” Fake Zuko dramatically flipped his long hair as the two actors walked off the stage, only for everyone to come back with fake Azula as well.

“Azula, my sister, what are you doing here?”

“You caught me. Wait, what’s that? I think it’s your honor.” She said, pointing up and everyone in the cast looked away from her as she slipped away.

“Where?”

“She escaped. But how?” Fake Katara asked, and it switched to show Azula and Aang at the wall of Ba Sing Se with the drill.

“If she continues drilling, this wall will come down for sure.” Fake Aang said, throwing a fake rock at her.

“Yes, continue drilling. The city of Ba Sing Se can hide no longer.” Fake Azula said as ‘Aang’ continued throwing rocks, but it never showed how it ended as the scene changed to show a mind-controlled Jet.

“No, Jet, what did they do to you? Fake Aang cried out, dodging as fake Jet swung out with his hooks.

“Must serve Earth King. Must destroy!” He exclaimed as a fake rock fell onto him, before curling up underneath it so his body wouldn’t be showing.

“Did Jet just die?” Zuko asked, as Sokka answered, gesturing with his hands.

“You know, it was really unclear.”

“I have to admit, Prince Zuko, I really find you attractive.” Fake Katara said, now seemingly in the crystal caves of Ba Sing Se as fake you was looking for a way out, hardly paying any attention to the two.

“You don’t have to make fun of me.” The actor said, turning away and then turning back when fake Katara sat down onto the same rock as him.

“But I mean it. I’ve had eyes for you since the day you first captured me.” With that, you noticed the real Zuko and Katara briefly glance at each other with mildly disgusted looks as Aang frowned at the stage.

“Wait. I thought you were the avatar’s girl. And besides I’m in love with someone else.” Fake Zuko then said, beginning to walk away and very obviously looked towards fake you. ‘Katara’ laughed, before starting to say.

“The avatar? Why, he’s like a little brother to me. I certainly don’t think of him in a romantic way. Besides, how could he ever find out about this?” She hugged him, and you looked at the stage in confusion.

“There’s no way you two would do that.” You said, knowing for a fact that Katara was crushing on Aang, and she had already divulged that he kissed her the day of the invasion. “But what I don’t get is why the actor looks at me when he says he’s in love with someone else. What’s up with that?” You questioned, only to get radio silence from everyone there. You shrugged, figuring that you would weasel the answer out of someone later.

“Oh, you’re getting up? Can you get me some fire flakes?” Sokka asked Aang when he walked out of the theater after that debacle. “Oh, and fire gummies.”

“Well, my brother, what’s it going to be? Your nation or a life of treachery?” Fake Azula said, only for fake Zuko to contemplate things.

“Choose treachery. It’s more fun.” Fake Iroh said, drinking some tea as ‘Zuko’ walked over to him and paused.

“No way!” ‘Azula’ yelled before he pushed ‘Iroh’ over onto the ground and headed towards his sister’s side.

“I hate you, Uncle. You smell, and I hate you for all time!” As he left the stage with ‘Azula’, the Earth Kingdom flag fell onto the actor for Iroh.

“You didn’t really say that, did you?” Katara asked, and you frowned when Zuko answered.

“I might as well have.”

The next scene was Ty Lee and Mai taking over Ba Sing Se, only for Aang to appear out from behind the throne.

“Avatar state, yip-yip!” Fake Aang proceeded to be brought up from the stage by a rope as fake Azula appeared.

“Not if my lightning can help it.” A ribbon was thrown at the fake avatar who pretended to be electrocuted and fell to the floor. “The avatar is no more.” At that, the whole audience seemed to cheer, apart from your group.

You stretched during the intermission, thankful to be out of the seat.

“It seems like every time there’s a big battle, you guys barely make it out alive. I mean, you guys lose a lot.” Suki mentioned, only for her boyfriend to quickly respond.

“You’re one to talk, Suki, didn’t Azula take you captive? That’s right, she did.”

“Are you trying to get on my bad side?”

“I’m just saying.”

“Does anyone know where Aang is?” Katara interrupted the couple, and you hoped that the two might finally talk about how they feel.

“He left to get me fire gummies like ten minutes ago, and I’m still waiting.” Sokka complained, only for his sister to turn away from him.

“I’m gonna check outside.” She said, walking out of the theater, as a child dressed up as Aang pretended to fly around.

“Suki, what are the chances you can get me backstage? I got some jokes I want to give to the actor me.”

“I’m an elite warrior who’s trained for many years in the art of stealth. I think I could get you backstage.” And the two walk off, leaving you with Zuko and Toph.

“Well, I think I’m going to go check out how bad Sokka’s jokes are. Maybe you can tell her now.” Toph suggested, before following Suki and Sokka.

“Wait-” But you had cut Zuko off before he could continue.

“Tell me what?” Would someone finally tell you about why fake Zuko looked at you when he said he was in love with someone else?

“I-uh.. The actor wasn’t entirely wrong.” He partially confessed, only leaving you with more questions.

“Wrong about which part?” You simply couldn’t understand any bit of it.

“I’ve kind of been in love with you for a while.” He quickly answered, glancing at you to see your reaction before looking away.

“Wait what-” You said, only momentarily confused before shaking your head. You didn’t exactly understand why, and that’s exactly what you said. “Why? I don’t get it. There’s nothing special or anything about me.”

“You are far from ordinary, Y/N. You’re so strong and-”

“So what you’re telling me, you’re attracted to strong women?” You teased, oddly satisfied upon seeing the light pink of his cheeks as he groaned before letting out a sigh.

“Yeah.” He admitted, before continuing. “I even asked everyone for help with this.”

“Wait, is that why you had told me I was pretty the other day? And why I found flowers in front of my door the next morning?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I thought you were hot when we first met, so we’re even.” You shrugged, looking at him from the corner of your eye.

“Do you still think that?”

“What do you think?” You answered his question with a question, leaning closer to him until your faces were merely inches apart. “Y’know, I started training to get my mind off you.”

Just as your lips were almost touching, you had closed your eyes only to quickly open them and pull away when you heard a wolf-whistle.

“It’s about time!”

#Avatar The Last Airbender #atla #avatar fanfic #atla fanfic #zuko x reader #aang #katara #sokka #toph #suki #female reader #earthbender reader #zuko

192 notes · View notes

5lazarus · 3 years

Text

Dragon Eyes: an Avatar-The Last Airbender Fanfic

Dragon Eyes

On a diplomatic mission to the Fire Nation, Katara leaves the children with Aang to have tea with Zuko and Mai. But the two of them have something they want to talk about. They've lived enough of fathers neglecting one child for the other, and they have seen enough.

Katara wishes they had propositioned her, rather than bring this up. Read on Archive of Our Own here.

Years of travel in the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation have not made handling the heat any easier. Katara rejoices in shedding her layers, showing off some skin. Aang is entertaining all the kids—all of them, not just Tenzin, and Zuko’s daughter, too. She is relieved to have them out of her hair, to have the time to sit down and comb through her hair. She twists her hair into her old Fire Nation fashion and grins at herself in the mirror. She loves her hair loopies, but it’s nice to shake things up a bit.

Aang is taking the kids through the palace and tormenting the tour guide Zuko sent them with Ty Lee. Katara is taking advantage of the break. Zuko told her he’ll be in the garden with Mai, doing a tea meditation. Apparently they do that every morning, to keep a finger on each other’s pulse. At first Katara was nonplussed, wondering if that was a euphemism, and was slightly alarmed when he invited her to join them. Aang has talked about how the Air Nomads practiced polyamory. The Water Tribe does not. Katara does not.

It is terribly, terribly hot, humidity a caress on the skin, and she bends it cooler around her limbs, swiping the sweat away. Barefoot she walks down the tile path into the courtyard. Mai and Zuko are sitting by the turtleducks, drinking tea. Mai sees her first and raises a small cup in welcome.

Zuko says, “I told you she’d come.”

Mai rolls her eyes. “Hot tea on a hot day? Only offer this to Katara, not any other officials from the Water Tribe.”

“Fair,” Zuko says. He smiles at her. “Aang’s got the kids?”

Katara settles down at the tea table, one of those elegantly-carved pieces of wood that look deceptively simple and thus cost a fortune. Zuko uses wooden prongs to place a small porcelain cup before her and Mai. She touches it, eggshell thin. It’s warm.

“The tea tastes better that way,” Zuko says. Mai looks at him fondly. “Easier now that I don’t have to hide the fire bending.”

Katara smiles. “I really am surprised we didn’t run into each other earlier. Your uncle’s tea shop was so popular!”

Zuko hides his face behind his hair, and Mai puts her hand on his arm. Iroh’s death is still raw on him. She takes the tongs from him and begins pulling thin, silvery green leaves from a jar. She places them in a scoop made from bamboo.

“Bai hao yin zhen,” Mai says. “Early spring.” An eagerness underlays her usual drawl. Katara raises an eyebrow. She really likes the tea. Mai says, “Here. Smell.”

Katara leans forward. “The things I do for diplomacy!” She grins, and takes a cautious sniff. Her eyes widen, and she inhales deeper, drunk on the scent. “That’s like the sun!”

Mai smiles, and Zuko shakes himself out of his reverie to say, “Uncle always said the tasting notes were honey and sun fruits, after the rain. This is the new buds of a tea tree. There are other white teas, just as exquisite, that include the leaves, but I’ve always loved this one. It’s a treat.”

Katara says, “Well, thank you for sharing with me. If it tastes anything like it smells….”

“Uncle always served you red tea, right?” Zuko takes an open pot and closes a hand gently around its handle. The water begins to bubble. “He thought you’d like a deeper flavor. It’s good for the cold. But white tea cools me down.”

Katara leans back on her haunches, raising her face to the sun. She listens to the burble of the koi pond behind her, where Zuko has placed a shrine to Yue. Reparations, she thinks. Not enough: Sokka and Suki broke up, of course, and he has never quite been able to settle down since. She’s there, silent in the bright sky, and while it is not enough, at least the world is whole.

The courtyard is gritty under her hands, and she wipes at them, wincing at the soreness in the joints. She’s been stressed. These family trips are always stressful. Aang, for all his meditation, never seems to be able to focus on packing and he makes Bumi’s inattention worse, and then Kya gets upset that Bumi is bothering her and kicks up a fuss, and then Tenzin of course cries, and Appa covers him in slobber trying to comfort him, which makes him cry worse, and then he needs a bath, and then Bumi and Kya get upset, because the baby is the baby and the Airbender and everything, as Kya once screamed. She sighs. It is good to have some time in the sun, while Aang takes care of the kids, and have some intelligent conversation besides when she was having her next baby. She wasn’t. Three and a husband were enough.

Mai says, apropos of nothing, “Dragon eyes.” She slides the tea from the scoop into a gaiwan, shaking the leaves to spread them on the bottom.

Katara opens her eyes. “What?”

Mai says, “It means the water’s boiling. When the bubbles are that large, like dragon eyes. It means it’s the temperature that’s good for this kind of white tea. Though some brew it cooler—with crab eyes, rather than dragon eyes.”

Zuko takes his hand from the pot and skillfully pours the boiling water into the waiting gaiwan. He places its lid on the top, and pours it swiftly into another exquisite porcelain pitcher, almost translucently blue. Like blood, Katara thinks, and then banishes the thought. Hama wouldn’t like her here. The honeysuckle smell fills the garden. Zuko pours the tea, almost silver-green, into her cup.

He says, “Don’t drink. Just smell.”

Katara looks at him doubtfully. It seems like such a waste of such wonderful-smelling tea. The Fire Nation court has always struck her as excessive, though she is leery of people who prattle on about decadence.

Mai says, “You can drink it. But it’s the rinse, you rinse leaves like this the way you do rice.”

Katara says, “You ever cooked rice?” Zuko laughs, and Mai rolls her eyes.

“Very funny,” she drawls. “When we searched for Ursa. Eventually I got it right.” Zuko grins in a way that makes Katara think that perhaps she never did.

He points to the figure, painted in blue, sitting serenely at the center of the tea table. “Or you can offer it to her.” Katara picks up the porcelain figurine. It’s of a woman, a mother, holding a child close. She catches Mai’s eye. Zuko still hurts for his mother, for his father, for his cousin and his sister and his uncle. It manifests in such obvious ways, how he grieves his family. She doesn’t even need to hear it, but Zuko says it anyway. “It was my mother’s. Noriko, I mean.”

“Have you spoken to her recently?” Katara says carefully. She places the figurine back onto the table and unceremoniously dumps her cup over it, hoping it scalds through the paint. Families are complicated, Zuko’s insanely so. Mai gives her an amused look and does the same.

Zuko shrugs. “I just wish she’d talk to Azula. She hasn’t visited her once. And I know it’s hard, and you never really know when the lucid period will end, but—“

Mai says, “Loving Azula isn’t easy. It might get better when Ozai dies.”

Then they are silent as Zuko picks up the pot again and flash-brews the tea. It is hard to be sour with such a sweet smell filling the air. They don’t need to say it. It would have been better if Aang had killed Ozai. It is easier to come to peace with the dead father than the living disposed king and his mad daughter.

Zuko pours the honey-sweet tea into her little cup. She sips it, lost in its clear light taste. This is what the dew hidden in a flower tastes like, she thinks. She tries to slow down sipping at this minuscule cup, but too fast, the tea is gone. Zuko is smiling.

“Another cup?” he says, and she nods eagerly. “This was one of my uncle’s favorites. One of the many things he loved from the Earth Kingdom.”

They drink, reveling in the sheer loveliness of it. It’s like drinking light, Katara thinks. Earth and fire and water, in one cup. The warm porcelain soothes her aching hands. A muscle relaxes in her neck, and she lets her shoulders down. She rolls them, happy in their mobility.

Mai looks at her with an acupuncturist’s eye. “Pinched nerve?” she asks. “I can look at that. If you’re comfortable.”

Katara stops, cup halfway to her mouth. She’s going back to her original thought that they were hitting on her, which is flattering, but no. Absolutely not. She’s got enough going on, even if Aang wouldn’t mind, or even be into it. No.

Zuko leans forward. “There’s something we’ve been wanting to ask her.”

Katara’s heart stops. She puts the cup down, a little too hard. “I—uh—“

“Have things been alright with Aang?”

Mai’s mouth twitches. “I think she thought we were going to ask her something else.”

“Everything’s fine!” Katara blurts. Mai can be such a troll sometimes. “I mean. Traveling with the kids is always…a lot, but—why?” She’s irritated now. She has not been pleased with Aang, but three small children take a toll on communication in a marriage. She’s embarrassed that it has been that obvious. She fiddles with the figurine on the table.

Zuko and Mai exchange a look. They look like they’re waiting for the other to speak. Finally, Mai heaves a sigh.

“Bumi wrote Izumi something in a letter,” Mai says. She folds her hands in her lap. “You know how they’re friends. And it made her very upset.”

“Well,” Katara says. “If he was nasty to her, I’ll speak to him, but I don’t see what this has to do with my marriage. Bumi is—“ She stops. Bumi is always in the middle of things, fussing around, crashing into walls just like his namesake. She loses patience with him too often, she knows that, but Kya’s easy to distract with a waterbending lesson, and Tenzin just sits with his scrolls when Aang isn’t putting him through his paces. He’s so much like his father, an absolute whirlwind of energy. She’s privately thought it’s a shame he didn’t inherit his father’s bending, rather than Tenzin, but that is something she can not let herself think for long.

“He says he doesn’t think his father loves him, because he’s not a bender,” Zuko says. “Which I know is not right. But I have been in that position before. And he told her that Aang is never around, that he just travels from temple to temple with Tenzin, and he and Kya are just left at home. And that he’s worried about you too. It was a very…” He trails off, and looks at Mai.

Mai finishes, “The ink was smudge. He’d been crying. So we wanted to talk to you, because it scared Izumi. Because we both know what it is like to be ignored by our fathers.” She smiles thinly. “And the toll it took on our mothers.”

Zuko says, “I’m sorry if we overstepped, it was just—hard to read.”

Katara says, “Why didn’t he tell me? It’s—he does his best to present for the kids, but Aang has his Avatar duties, and as the last airbender, there’s so much he needs to teach Tenzin, so it’s just easier for him to bring only him along. Have you tried to move three children around the world on bison-back?”

Zuko looks wry for a second. “Well,” he says. “It depends if you count Sokka as a child.”

Mai puts her hand on his arm: not the time.

Katara says, “I wish it was better, but I knew I wasn’t walking into something that was easy. From the start. He could be a better father, but what can I do? What can I do?” She’s furious now, tears rising to her eyes, and she looses a ragged breath, surprised at her own fervor. Wordlessly Zuko pours her another cup. She downs it, barely tasting it.

Mai says, “If he’s not being a good father to your children and a good husband to you, you can leave. We’re not our mothers, Katara.” Zuko looks at her warningly. “Sorry. I don’t know how it was in the Southern Water Tribe, but for my mother, she thought she had no choice. But there is always a choice. Even if it isn’t easy. I don’t—“

Zuko says firmly, “You deserve better. Bumi and Kya deserve better. And Tenzin too. That sort of resentment between siblings is poison. I should know.”

Katara would have preferred that they proposition her. She closes her eyes. “I don’t know what to do,” she whispers. Louder, she continues, “I know Bumi deserves better. From both of us. I know it hurts them. I can see it in the way they treat Tenzin. Kya already barely speaks to Aang. But. Tenzin is my son, too. And of course he and Aang would be closer. It’s just—if I take my children and go, I’m taking Aang’s family away. And I know the Air Nomads were different, he wasn’t raised to stay in one place, if you were a bender and a boy you’d be sent to the temple and that was it, but—“

“Bumi is Southern Water Tribe,” Mai says. “And even if his father is an Air Nomad, only his brother counts as one. Because of bending. And that isn’t fair for him. For Kya either, because they are both. And you know you need to do something about it.” Katara looks up, surprised at the emotion in her voice. Mai stares at her steadily. “Katara, you saved the world. You’re the hero of the Fire Nation, the Painted Lady, the chief of the Southern Water Tribe. You deserve a husband who is a coparent to all your children, not just one.”

Katara says, “You don’t—“ and then there is a crash and a scream and the sound of raucous laughter as Aang comes running in on an air ball, Tenzin nipping at his heels.

“C’mon,” he yells behind him, “faster, you snail sloths!” He and Tenzin pause, perched on the air they so effortlessly bend. Tenzin looks a little harried. Bumi comes running in, panting, then Kya, and Izumi at a more sedate pace.

“That’s…cheating,” Kya says. She grips at the wall. “That wasn’t fair!” She is genuinely angry, almost at the brink of tears, and Izumi bumps her reassuringly. Bumi throws himself on the ground.

Tenzin says pedantically, “You didn’t say no bending.”

Izumi snaps, “Maybe it didn’t need to be said!”

Aang jumps onto his feet, and Tenzin follows. Kya is crouching over Bumi now, muttering to him. Mai’s face is a stone. Zuko is blushing.

“What’s up?” Aang says, grinning. “Did I miss anything fun?”

Katara pours herself a cup rather than answering. She considered the heat and sweetness in the air. With a flick of her risk, she bends it over the mother figurine, washing her clean.

“Oh, you know,” she says. “Diplomacy. We’ll talk about it when we get home.”

#avatar: the last airbender #atla #atla fanfiction #atla fanfic #fanfic #anti kataang #katara #mai/zuko #katara & mai friendship #katara & zuko friendship #friendship #bad dads #divorce #post canon #family drama #family issues

8 notes · View notes

baegarrick · 4 years

Note

idk if you've read/seen the book/movie but just... love, simon zukka au ?? sokka as simon and zuko as bram because blue spirit ( though if we r going for it personality-wise maybe switch their roles? idk ! ) — also in this one the friends are exponentially better

ok im so sorry I haven’t actually seen love, simon or read the book but.... I HAVE ACCESS TO WIKIPEDIA SO LETS GO

ok so I was considering Zuko as Simon bc of the musical thing/the loving parent (Iroh), the girl he sees Sokka (Bram) kiss is Suki.... but also bc I just love writing Zuko (maybe I’ll parse that out at the end)

BUT lets go with Sokka as Simon bc I also love writing the Gaang

Sokka is Simon

Katara is both Nora and Abby

Jet is Martin

Aang is Nick (but slightly also Abby)

Zuko is blue/Bram

Suki is Leah (but slightly also Nick)

Toph is Ethan (sorta)

Haru is Lyle

Ok so, obv this follows the plot of the movie/book. Sokka is a gay + closeted junior, not that his dad isn’t loving, but he’s in the military, and occasionally makes homophobic jokes, and Sokka feels like he has to be tough for him, esp. since his mom died. But he really likes making people laugh and so he joins the school musical, which is a comedy this year.

His best friend is Suki, who he’s known since he was a kid, but he’s kinda been withdrawing from her since he got to high school. He loves her, he really does, but everyone always thinks they’re dating, and it kinda makes him uncomfortable. He tried to like her, when they were younger, but he just... isn’t into girls. His friend group is Suki, Katara (his sister, and it was the two of them against the world since their mom died, but he’s pulled away from her too), Aang (a transfer freshman from out of state), and Toph (who spent up till 8th grade at a private school).

Also in the musical is Zuko, a hot senior who’s like.... super lofty. He gets really into theater, but he rarely interacts with people outside his friend group, like he’s better than them or something. (Mai and Ty Lee are also there, they’re Zuko’s friends.) Not in the musical, but in one of the other clubs Sokka is in, is Jet. He got kicked off the football team for being too rough with the other team last year, so he mostly just hangs out behind the bleachers smoking.

Sokka’s on the school’s tumblr one day (shut up, Katara, I don’t have a tumblr!!) when he sees someone posted an anonymous confession saying they’re gay but they really don’t have anyone they can talk to because of their family situation. Sokka gets their email (BlueSpirit) and start emailing (BoomerangDude) them for a couple of months. He learns that Blue’s family has really high expectations of him, and since he’s only a year away from college he can’t mess them up because if he does he’ll be cut off, and he can’t afford college if that happens. He’s got a sadistic little sister (who isn’t actually terrible, she’s just got her own shit going on, and if shoving Zuko in the warpath of their father takes the spotlight off of her, all the better) who would absolutely out him if she knew, a girl he’s pretty sure wants to date him (Mai), and an after-school job (the tea shop) thats cutting into his extra-curricular activities.

This is.... really similar to Sokka, actually, and he likes making Blue laugh (they switch to chatting online sometimes, like discord or some chat app), and Blue has a lot of insights on things Sokka likes (some of the same music,

Meanwhile, Sokka ends up going to this tea shop he heard about from Blue (it had been a slip, Zuko had NOT meant to say too many personal details, but he’d mentioned getting some kind of boba drink) and studying there with his friends. While he’s there, he’s surprised to see Zuko, who he’s never spoken to outside of the musical they’re working on!! (At some point, Zuko checks his phone and laughs, and Sokka’s like, oh no, I’m crushing on.... TWO DUDES???? BAD SOKKA). He starts to wonder if maybe.... Zuko is Blue?? it generally sorta fits, he knows Zuko is also a senior, and the tea shop Blue mentioned.... (to be fair, though, they see like three other kids from school there, so it’s not really a niche place)

Before Sokka can test out this theory, though, there’s a Halloween party which Sokka goes to with his friends. (They go as the Power Rangers.) He sees Zuko there (he’s in some some Kabuki costume), but with him is.... Mai from the play. They’re making out, and Sokka feels his stomach drop-- he’s not gay and Sokka’s crushing on a straight guy. He gets drunk. He throws up in the bushes outside, and Katara finds him, chews him out, and then sneaks him back home.

He emails Blue again, drunk, and says some stupid stuff like he wishes things were easier, and that he thought he knew who Blue was, but he didn’t. (Blue doesn’t reply.)

He’s checking his email on a school computer in the library when the bell rings, and he doesn’t log out properly, and Jet, who is skipping class, finds Sokka’s emails. He confronts Sokka about them, and says he won’t reveal Sokka’s secret... if Sokka helps Jet get with Sokka’s hot sister. Sokka hates the idea, but also, the idea of being outed is really terrifying. So he says yes, and tries to talk up Jet to Katara, who’s a little surprised bc while she thinks Jet is hot, Sokka was super against Jet whenever she mentioned it. Katara is involved in school politics, and convinces Jet to pretend to be interested to spend time with her. (he ends up running against her...)

Around Thanksgiving, with all their extended family there, ribbing him about getting a girlfriend (asking about Suki), Sokka leaves and goes to sit on the roof. Katara finds him there, and demands he spill whats up and why he’s acting so weird, especially about Suki. (she looks freaked out for a moment, and is like.... oh my god, sokka, is suki pregnant?????? sokka blanches at that) He admits he’s gay, and she hugs him, and they stay out there until their dad sticks his head out the window and calls them inside.

Feeling guilty about Jet, Sokka admits to Blue their emails might have been compromised. Blue starts to back away, taking longer and longer to answer emails.

At a football game, Sokka runs into Haru, who starts asking him stuff, and Sokka wonders if he’s Blue, but it turns out Haru is interested in Katara. Upset, again, that he doesn’t know who Blue is, he encourages Jet to “go big or go home”-- and so Jet asks Katara out by bribing the kid who does the scoreboard to switch out his campaign ad for asking Katara out. Katara is shocked, as she thought Jet was really interested in her campaign. She slaps him.

Mad that Katara wasn’t interested after all, and from the slap, Jet outs Sokka anyway, posting the emails on the school’s gossip site. Katara, who was mad at Sokka, instantly forgives him and is on a WARPATH against Jet, but Sokka just wants it left alone. Suki shows up a few hours later, and finds him on the roof. She admits that she had a crush on him, which was why she never said anything when people asked if they were a couple, but she knew Sokka wasn’t interested in her, so she never pushed it. She’s sorry she made it difficult for him to come out to her.

Blue is upset their emails have leaked, and deletes his account.

He comes out to his dad later, in the car, on the way to school on the last couple of days before winter break. His dad takes it well, and apologizes for all of the jokes he used to make-- it doesn’t make it right, but it was the kind of things he and the other soldiers used to say to each other. He ends up taking them to this tea shop he heard about (it’s Zuko’s/Iroh’s shop), and while there, he comes out to the owner of the shop, Iroh, as sort of..... practice. It’s liberating and also terrifying. Iroh is super cool about it, and tells them about his own son, who passed away a few years ago in an accident, was gay. It’s way later than Sokka thought, and when he looks up from the conversation with Iroh, Zuko’s standing in the doorway. not wanting to deal with people from school, Sokka leaves the tea shop without waiting for his dad to follow him.

The next couple of days at school are rough. His friends stick by his side, but Jet’s friends are obnoxious and loud, and Katara punches one of them. She goes to the school, but they’re eternally unhelpful bc.... what can tey do... its not a school website..... Later, Toph tells Sokka she’s a lesbian, and it’s not that she’s hiding it, but... it’s already tough enough when people treat her like she’s glass because she’s blind. They all go home for winter break, and when they come back, Sokka is refreshed and determined not to be put down by a couple of assholes.

He’s wildly surprised when Blue posts on the school’s tumblr that he wants to meet Sokka at the school’s carnival. This draws a crowd, which makes Sokka worried he’s gonna be pranked, but when he sits down on the Ferris wheel, he’s surprised that Zuko from the tea shop/musical sits down next to him.

Zuko says he’s sorry for ignoring Sokka’s emails, and he’s sorry that Sokka got outed to the school, and it wasn’t his fault that Sokka was blackmailed, and he should have reacted better to it. Sokka apologizes too, because Zuko shouldn’t have to be outed either, which... is why they’re here? Zuko blushes, and says he came out to his uncle, who’s letting him stay with him, since he’s tired of going home to his shitty dad, and that he might go live with his mom while he’s in college. He admits the Mai thing at the party was a drunken misunderstanding, and that he likes Sokka. He thinks he’s funny, and they like the same things (theater, music, strange taste in food...), and he’s hoping after this... Sokka might like him too? (they kiss on the Ferris wheel, and Katara takes like, 30 pictures.)

....

alternatively////

Zuko as Simon au-- bc I just wanted to write it out. he lives with his uncle, who’s the loving parent here, not Ozai!! (or his Mom/stepdad but I kinda forgot they existed for like 5 minutes)

Zuko is Simon

Katara is Abby (she’s his lab partner, and they have the same temperment)

Azula is Nora, but she doesn’t really play a big role (she’s an asshole, but also she’s 14 and is Going Through Things. she’s also in the closet and in love with Mai, but she doesn’t know it yet. it takes her a couple of years to figure that out.)

Mai is Leah

Aang is Martin (but less of an asshole. just the embarrassing + frustrated bits.)

Sokka is blue/Bram

Suki is the girl at the party Sokka kisses

Ty Lee is Ethan

---

I HOPE THIS WAS OK, like I said I haven’t actually seen the thing, but now I actually know what the plot is about!! <3333

#zukka #zukka au #love simon au

70 notes · View notes

earwen · 4 years

Text

saudade

↳ @taangweek 2020 Day 1: Tradition

This was gonna go a certain way, but then SOMEONE (they know who they are) showed me some angsty stuff they were working on and this fic took a completely different turn. Sorry in advance y’all

Summary: Aang goes back to the swamp on the same day every year.

Warning: character death

Read it on ao3 or under the cut

saudade {Portuguese} the feeling of intense longing for a person or place you love but is now lost

‘

Aang catches her, finally, and chooses not to cushion their fall with any air, letting their bodies tumble into the damp earth instead. He hits the ground first, hands pinned against her back to keep her from jostling too much.

“Rematch,” his wife demands. “You weren’t supposed to use any bending!”

“You had an advantage! You’re always using seismic sense, so it’s impossible to sneak up on you, Toph.”

“This is the Earth Rumble all over again. Chase me again, you filthy little cheater.”

“It feels like I’ll always be chasing you,” he murmurs, his lips brushing the wisps of hair over her temple. He closes his eyes, basks in the bits of sunlight peeking through the plethora of trees above them. “I’ll catch you every once in a while, but I never get to keep you.”

He’s always going to be that twelve-year-old boy running after a pretty girl who won’t wait for him, her laughter taunting him—

“Thanks for killing the mood, Twinkletoes,” Toph retorts, punching him in the chest.

A thread of panic bursts inside of him because that punch had felt like nothing – like she’s made of air – so he desperately grabs her retreating fist and tucks it over his heart. She sighs like she’s both exasperated and in love with him, and it’s so familiar that when he blinks rapidly against the burning sensation behind his eyes, there’s already dew dotted along his lashes.

Toph snuggles into him, coiling the fingers from her other hand around Aang’s forearm. “Where are the boys?”

“With their grandparents.”

Her nose wrinkles. “You left them with my mom and dad?”

“They’re not that bad,” Aang smiles, small. “Your parents have been really helpful with watching them.”

“Fine,” Toph rolls her eyes. “Did Tenzin start bending anything yet? Please tell me he’s an earthbender.”

“Sorry, Sifu T,” comes his reply, and an involuntary laugh is yanked out of him when she starts cursing up a storm. “He sneezed the other day and shot six feet into the air. We have another airbender.”

“You’re telling me none of our kids are earthbenders. Absolutely none? That’s just fucking wrong.”

Aang turns, keeping her palm close to his chest as he drops his forehead against hers. “We only have two,” he whispers softly, pressing a soft kiss to the space between her dark brows. “I think our next kid would have been an earthbender. She would have been a girl too – strong and beautiful just like her mother.”

“You think I would’ve kept popping out babies for you?” she throws back with a scoff. “You try giving birth and see how that shit feels.” Mild pause. “I guess you’re right though. A girl would have been nice.”

The weight of her against him starts to fade at a frightening pace, which means he doesn’t have much time with her left.

A chasm lies in his chest, poisoned and concave, and the longer he lives and exists without Toph, the harder the abyss inside him threatens to swallow him whole. It’s an exhausing kind of pain that sleep and meditation cannot ease away. It languishes his body and runs his blood cold; it has him shaking with tears at night until all of it is slowly weaned from his body.

“I don’t want to go back,” Aang says helplessly against the arch of her throat, gripping onto the indents of her hips. “Please don’t make me leave. Don’t make me leave you.”

“If you leave our kids fatherless, I will claw my way out from the grave and bury you until you’re a thousand feet under.”

Aang chuckles wetly. “I would never do that to Gyatso and Tenzin. Not intentionally.”

He doesn’t have a choice anyway.

The Avatar doesn’t get to stop just because the love of his life is gone. He doesn’t get to weep over the fact that they should have gotten so many more decades together, that she was supposed to keep insulting him and loving him until they were old and withered.

Some days, Aang believes he doesn’t want to live in a world where she’s no longer in it. He doesn’t want to move on from her, to wake up one day years from now and think it’s okay that she’s not by his side anymore. She’d been his home for the longest while and now that she’s gone, he’s been rendered homeless and lost for the second time in his entire life.

But he never tells Toph any of these things.

It would upset her, Aang thinks, even if she’s just a wispy silhouette in his arms at this point.

He holds Toph until her spirit disappears with one last laugh that makes him feel like a kid again. He contemplates searching for her, like he’d done the years before, but he knows he won’t find her again. As much as he hates the significance of this day – hates it so much – it’s the only day where she comes back to him.

‘

(“Toph,” he rasps out shakily, the world around them falling silent. “Toph. Try to stay awake, please, please, Katara’s coming—”

He’s not a healer – he doesn’t have Katara’s gifts – but he presses water-gloved hands to the open wound in her chest anyway, willing it to do anything. Under his ministrations, the bleeding doesn’t stop and his breath hitches frantically in his throat.

A hand touches his cheek, trembling with the effort of keeping it pressed there. “Aang.”

Enough.

“No,” Aang chokes, distraught. “Toph, no—”

“I was supposed to watch the kids today,” she murmurs, so, so quiet, her chest stuttering. “You had that meeting with—”

“Fuck the meeting,” Aang cuts her off. “You’re – you’re going to be okay. We’re going to go home after this and when you finish healing, we’ll leave Republic City for a while – just you, me, Gyatso and Tenzin. You always said you wanted to travel again, so why not start now? We’ll go anywhere you want, I promise.”

Toph’s smile is tiny and exhausted, and his vision of her begins to blur all around. “Tell the boys that I love them. T-That they’re my favorite people in the entire world. I know Tenzin’s still young and he probably won’t – he won’t remember me, but tell hi—”

“He will remember you because you’ll be telling that to him yourself.”

“Appa and Momo too. Tell them they’re good boys.”

The water is useless, so he tosses it to the side. When he feels Toph’s hand slipping from his face, Aang folds his hand over hers and shifts his head to kiss her palm desperately. Toph makes eye contact with him for once and even if she can’t see him, her gaze makes him crumple over her like a broken puppet, a shuddering sob leaving him.

“Stay with me,” Aang begs, his brow rested against hers. “I can’t do any of this without you. Please, Toph.”

Toph inhales quickly. “I love you, Twinkle—”

And she stills in his arms completely, leaving him, her last breath wasted on trying to finish the rest of his nickname.)

‘

It’s sunset when Aang leaves the swamp, head bowed down to a grief that’s become a second layer of skin on him.

He’s surprised to find his friends surrounding the area where he’d left Appa outside.

“You come here every year,” Katara points out gently, immediately pulling Aang into her arms and letting him lean against her. “It wasn’t that hard to find you, knowing that fact. Do you still see her?”

“It’s the only time I see her,” he replies, bending to press his wet cheek against her shoulder. “You guys didn’t have to come.”

A large palm on the space of his shoulders, pressing lightly. “Of course we did, buddy,” Sokka chimes in, his smile tweaked by sadness. “We didn’t want you to be alone. And we thought that...maybe you’d be open to a new tradition on this day?”

Aang lifts his head, wiping at his tears. “What is it?”

“You know the underground arena that still holds the Earth Rumble tournaments?” Katara asks, her eyes overly bright and averted from the swamp behind Aang, like she’s trying so very hard not look for flashes of a pale woman with a flying boar herself. “Zuko convinced the new owner to open it just for the five of us for the rest of the night. It was To— it was one of her favorite places.”

She struggles even now to say Toph’s name out loud, and Aang understands. After her passing, it had taken him two years to be able to say her name without falling apart.

“We could have our own Earth Rumble,” Sokka says, “but with, you know, all the elements, a boomerang and a couple of fans.”

“You’re forgetting about earth,” Aang replies, but he feels the corners of his mouth twitching upward against his will.

“There’s an easy fix for that! I’ll chuck rocks at you. Or maybe Suki will because she has better aim anyway.”

Suki sneaks in from the side, slipping a comforting arm around Aang’s waist. “Only if you want to do this, Aang. It’s okay if you don’t. None of us wanted to be alone today, really.”

The memory of Toph would be all over that underground arena and it would hurt still. Spirits, it would hurt so much. But it’s better than being alone.

He passes his gaze over to Zuko - who’s sitting on top of Appa’s head with the reins clutched tightly in his pale hands, who has his face turned away to hide his swollen eyes and blotchy cheeks, who had taken Toph’s death the hardest after Aang.

“I’d like to imagine that she’d be cheering us on from the other side while we all fight each other,” Suki adds, wistful. “And laughing when we get our asses kicked.”

Yes, Toph would do that.

“Okay,” Aang says on long exhale. “Let’s do it.”

‘

Aang steps into the arena after the rest of them pile onto it and smiles tearfully at the worn earth beneath his bare feet—

(“Somebody’s a little light on his feet. What’s your fighting name - the Fancy Dancer?”)

#taang #taang week 2020 #aang #toph #aang/toph #character death #atla #avatar #avatar the last airbender #fic #teabag fics

47 notes · View notes

zahra-kha · 3 years

Text

Dear Diary 30

I’ve been incredibly busy.

On purpose, but I don’t mind it at all. There’s been a sort of peace locking myself up in my apartment, writing songs and practicing for shows. I wish I could say I’ve been up to more but outside of Plume and the strange plated leves adventure I’ve been reclusive.

I’ve been having a lot of bizarre dreams of late. One reoccurring dream I’ve been having is one where I feel like I’m floating in this dark pool. I try to swim to the surface but just as I get to the top and reach out someone reaches out to stop me. When I look up I see a reflection of myself, but it’s not me. Her hair and eyes are the color of blood and she looks down at me with resentment.

I can’t hear what she’s saying and when I try to read her lips the water blurs what she’s trying to say. It’s when I try to respond that my lungs fill with water and I wake up struggling to breathe.

I’ve had to leave the lights on of late too. I’m not sure why but being in the darkness triggers my claustrophobia like when I was a child. It’s just dark, tight spaces now, but of late I can’t even be in the room unless there’s a dim light. I start feeling like I’m suffocating - or like something’s trying to crawl out of me.

It’s been hard to sleep again. I think I might start taking tonics. If I don’t have those dreams it’s just other nightmares. Dreams about me dying in a fire, or I’m running and I keep trying to scream out for help but no matter how hard I scream nothing comes out. I feel helpless and frustrated.

So you can understand why I keep drowning myself in work, right?

My shows have been going well, the solidarity show was a success! There were so many of us there, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many raen and xaela in one place! It was a warm feeling.

Tyme’s performance was absolutely stunning. I just want to point that out. Kaito’s was funny, he’s a great performer. I may get at him one day for a duet. It’d be hilarious. And Suki’s was beautiful!

And there were Kha! I didn’t really get to talk to any of them, but I wanted to. Sometimes I feel torn - I love my family, but there’s a part of me that wants to know where I came from too. Did my birth family love me? How was it growing up on the Steppes? What sort of traditions did I follow? I don’t remember any of it and a part of me was afraid of it. Afraid of how I’d be seen.

But they were warm. Orghana was kind and offered for me to stop in and learn more about their culture if I taught her a bit about dancing (not that she needs it, she’s amazing!).

There was also someone who had been saved by the Kha once and she told me nice things about my clan, and told me my songs had moved her (she also gave me a considerable sum of gil). I feel like I’ve met her before, but I couldn’t pin down where with her mask on.

I think I’d like to make friends with Baatu too. He’s a Kha, and I’ve seen him before at the Bandee Pakshee.

The next day I performed at the Gilded Stag. There were a lot of people I knew there! Kaito, Koh’a, Vel, Vin, Gail, even - to my surprise- Trystan! I’ve seen him pop in and out but I’d sadly not been able to really sit and chat him up, so I was happy he was there! Apparently he’d come to see me and Vin’s performances. I was...a bit apprehensive since I don’t think he realized it was a burlesque show but...he found out quick enough once the clothes started coming off!

Everyone’s performance was amazing. I could have done without seeing Kaito’s dick but I knew what I signed up for! So...I guess I’ll have to live with that going into work next Plume. Vin’s performance was stunning as always. I think poor Trystan wasn’t sure how to think or feel.

A burlesque show was different for me and probably my most ‘out there’ performance I’ve done. I let myself relax and go with the flow. And no, I don’t mean I flashed all my goods but. I might have thrown off my top. At the end!

Gods, I did that with Trystan watching. Nothing like having one of your best friends watching you halfway strip to make you feel so embarrassed you want to die. Too late to regret now moving on.

Anyway! After we went to Gail’s shop and tried to catch up. Apparently Gail and Vin have joined a group called GHOST. They sound like a well funded and organized group and I’m happy for them. I was a little sad to hear Vin had left school because it wasn’t offering her what she wanted, but it sounds like she’s happy with where she is and what she’s doing.

Somewhere along the line Vin lost an arm, too. I don’t know how and I guess she doesn’t give people a straight answer so. I didn’t ask.

I found out Trystan has been working and he knows a bit about what’s going on with those towers that have suddenly popped up. Not a whole ton, it’s still being investigated, but it looks like adventurers aren’t going to be short of work anytime soon. I’m glad he’s still out there doing what inspires him. I know it was hard for him when his father was ill. Adventuring is such a part of Trystan, I can’t imagine him not doing it.

Vin had to leave, and we ended up discussing ...well me. What happened and the things going on with my troupe. I talked to Gail about the investigation and she asked me what I wanted to do about it. I told her I didn’t feel right having everyone be cut off from things like that after they risked their lives to bring me back.

Trystan had stepped out but came back in time to overhear a good bit of what had happened to me. I wish there was something I could do to ease his guilt. I know he feels bad for not being there, but he was out there doing something incredible - he doesn’t need to feel guilty. We’re all out here doing what we feel is best for us, but it does make me feel less alone knowing I have so many friends that care about me. It’s been...hard.

I hope he can join us when we go out there to look deeper into the mystery, and I promised to treat him to some lunch to tell him everything that happened. I should have written him more, but I admit I’d been feeling out of sorts and reclusive of late. I’ve just had so much on my mind I just retreated into my thoughts whenever I was alone.

Gail opened up to us and we learned why she doesn’t like to talk about her nameday. I won’t reveal it here because it’s not my story to tell but- I decided I won’t pry into it or Jasper’s nameday any longer. Sometimes people have reasons for not wanting to open up about those things and I shouldn’t be insensitive.

We then got into the idea of soulmates and the concept of love itself. Gail has some strong views on it, and I ended up realizing I do too. I have a feeling Trystan does as well but maybe he was content to let us hash it out. He did chime in on it, and I think he’s of the same mindset as I am.

I wonder if Gail is afraid of love because she’s seen the rock bottom of what a toxic love can do to someone. That’s not something I can understand, but I can get being scared of love. When you’ve experienced heartbreak, it makes you hesitant to want to try and love again. Like when you first experience touching fire.

But I always run away from everything, and I’m so tired of that. And while I’m not going to rush in guns blazing with the feelings I currently have, I don’t want to run away from them either. I have someone I like. When I’m around them it’s a nice, warm feeling. They make me laugh, sometimes they frustrate me. I get flustered when they compliment me, and sometimes when they do reckless things I get angry, worried, or sad.

But then they give me an apologetic smile and I can’t feel upset anymore, and that’s okay too. I don’t want to see these feelings as something bad. It just is.

I want Gail to find happiness. It doesn’t have to be with someone, but I want her to be happy.

#ic #Zahra's diary #Zahra Kha #Zahra Kouris

6 notes · View notes

cutesuki--bakugou · 4 years

Text

Not exactly what you asked for, but I actually did a request LOL. (°o°:) I know it’s been 2349237849 years but I hope that y’all enjoy it anyways~

Giving a heavy sigh, you stared at the test paper in your hands, glaring at the ominous red scribble across it. In the top right corner, the circled grade was glaring right back, making you feel sick to your stomach. How could you have bombed this test so badly? You had studied, day and night, for hours and hours in hopes that you’d have a real chance at passing it. Going into the exam, you were positive that you had this in the bag, but you were immediately stumped right at the first question and it all went downhill from there.

It wasn’t necessarily a bad grade, to be fair. You passed, at least, but it still felt like a failure considering how much time you had put into learning the curriculum. What made it worse was that you knew you weren’t stupid, at least not compared to some people in your class. Yes, they had made way worse grades than you and so that should have made you happy in some way that you weren’t the worst, but in the end, it didn’t help. You had tried so hard just to miss your goal and it was such a shitty feeling.

Tossing your marked-up failure to the floor, you groaned loudly and leaned forward on your bed, hiding your face into a fluffy throw pillow. This sucks! I should have taken Katsuki up on his offer to tutor me… But then I would have distracted him from his own learning! He was struggling, too, but he ended up acing it.

At the thought of your boyfriend, there was a fluttering in your chest, your mind immediately drawn to tender moments you shared. Upset with your struggles, you found yourself wanting to be with him badly. But, he had gone to bed early tonight after being totally worn out by his supplemental classes for his provisional license, and you weren’t sure if he’d be happy with you just dropping by out of nowhere. On top of that, it was past curfew, and you knew that you could get in trouble if anyone caught you out walking around.

Flopping over to lay on your side, you stared off into some random corner of your room, listening to the soft sound of your calming music you had playing from some speakers on your nightstand. You had hoped that it would help drift you off to sleep, but in the end, all you could think about was the test. So here you were, sitting up in the middle of the night, unable to relax. There was only one hope for you that night, and that was somehow getting into your boyfriend’s arms.

Grumbling, you pushed yourself up and stood, taking a moment to kick the test across the floor before making your way to the door. With a soft click, it opened with your touch, and the chill of the hallway rushed into the room to send goosebumps across the skin of your bare legs. It only made you crave being in Bakugou’s arms more, so as silently as you could, you left your room and made your way up two flights of stairs to his floor.

You were surprised to see a figure shuffling down the hallway, though your worry was immediately subsided as you gazed upon the fluffy ash blonde hair. His back to you, Bakugou hadn’t noticed you just yet, though the crinkling sound of a water bottle told you he had just made a quick trip to the kitchen. Feeling like luck was on your side, you began to follow him, calling his name softly.

“‘Suki. Hey, Katsuki!”

Hand on the door handle to his dorm, Bakugou looked back over his shoulder at you, his initial tired, annoyed glare shifting to surprise. Without responding, he gave a soft nod towards his door, opening it and inviting you inside.

Unable to resist a small smile, you made your way over and slipped inside before him, waiting until the door was shut behind you both before speaking again.

“What luck, I didn’t have you wake you up!”

“Honestly, [Name], there isn’t anything that could have woken me up. Except the need to piss. You are lucky.” Caressing the side of your neck, Bakugou leaned forward and kissed your forehead softly, bringing a heat to your cheeks. “The fuck are you doing up so late?”

Feeling a bit ashamed, you rested against him, putting your arms around his torso. “I couldn’t sleep… I was upset about how bad I did on the test.”

“You didn’t do bad.” One arm around you, Bakugou rested his chin on the top of your head, yawning loudly. “You passed. That’s better than half the class. That exam was pretty fucking brutal.”

“I just feel like I tried so hard to study and learn the stuff, but it didn’t matter in the end.”

“Hm… C’mon.” Releasing you, Bakugou gently urged you with a soft nudge towards his bed, which was nothing but a jumbled mess of blankets at this point. Setting his water bottle down on the nightstand, he flopped to lay down, inviting you with open arms to join him. Having wanted nothing more in that moment, you squeezed in beside him, resting up against his side as he lay on his back with your head on his shoulder. Arm around his torso and legs intertwining with his, you felt immediately cocooned in his presence, so safe and comfortable, and an immediate sleepiness draped over you like a blanket.

Softly stroking your upper arm, Bakugou leaned his head against yours. “It’s not a failure, dumbass. You studied hard and learned what you could, and though it wasn’t the result you wanted, you passed. It wasn’t all for nothing. Just imagine how bad it would have been if you didn’t study. You’d be having to take the extra credit courses with Dunce Face and the others.”

“Denki did kind of bomb it… I don’t know, ‘Suki, I just feel like I could have done better.”

“You could have. But like I said, it doesn’t matter, now. Because next time, you will do better. I won’t let you ignore my tutoring, either.” Placing his hand on your cheek, he pushed up on your chin softly to tilt your head. The kiss he placed on your lips was so soft and gentle that you nearly immediately felt calmed. He had a way of doing that with you, to calm your nerves and help you to think rationally. Out of anyone in this world, people wouldn’t think that of him, that this loud and short-fused boy couldn’t possibly be able to calm anyone down.

But for you, he was like a warm bubble bath, soothing your tired and stressed mind until you were floating on clouds. You knew that it was the same for him, that you were his muse, his comfort, and you could spend forever just holding each other. He may be too shy and tough to admit it, but you knew, simply from the fact that he was almost always the instigator for cuddling sessions.

Humming happily, you smiled against his lips, looking up into his tried crimson gaze. “Thank you, Katsuki.”

After another soft kiss was shared, Bakugou hugged you tighter, settling down for sleep. “Yeah. Now enough of that bullshit. Get some sleep.”

“You, too, Mr. Fluffy-Sleepy-Head.”

“Don’t make me kick your ass out of bed, babe.”

#bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #bakugou x reader #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #request #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #bnha writing blog #xreader

207 notes · View notes

wiseabsol · 3 years

Text

WA Reviews “Dominion” by Aurelia le, Chapter 15: Lost

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6383825/15/Dominion

Summary: For the Fire Nation royal siblings, love has always warred with hate. But neither the outward accomplishment of peace nor Azula’s defeat have brought the respite Zuko expected. Will his sister’s plans answer this, or only destroy them both?

Content Warnings: This story contains discussions and depictions of child abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and incest. This story also explores the idea that Zuko’s redemption arc (and his unlearning of abuse) is not as complete as the show suggested, and that Azula is not a sociopath (with the story having a lot of sympathy for her). If that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, I would strongly recommend steering clear of this story and my reviews of it.

Note: Because these were originally posted as chapter reviews/commentaries, I will often be talking to the author in them (though sometimes I will also snarkily address the characters). While I’ve also tried not to spoil later events in the story in these reviews, I would strongly recommend reading through chapter 28 before reading these, just to be safe.

Now on to chapter 15!

CHAPTER 15: LOST

Alright, I’m a little late on this one, so let’s just dive into the ugly sadness of “Chapter 15: Lost,” shall we?

The A/N mentions that Toph, Suki, and Sokka will be back in five or six chapters, and a part of me can’t help but think, “Good, you three are distracting us from the Surround Sound Stereo Angst for the Royal Fire Family.” Joking aside, I am looking forward to Toph’s character development later on, because even though I know some of what is going to happen in future chapters of “Dominion,” I legitimately don’t think that Aurelia and I have discussed Toph’s arc yet. It’s a blind spot for me, but I’m okay with that, since I want to have some surprises in the wings, rather than just enjoying how X and Y parts are executed. Both ways of reading this story are fun, but the former is more enjoyable for reader in me, rather than the editor.

If the outline mentioned in chapter fifteen is still accurate, then that means that we have seven chapters left of “Dominion” at present, before we move on to “Thrones.” That number might be off, though, because Aurelia tends to be more verbose than she expects and has to split the chapters into multiple parts.

On to the chapter itself. Ty Lee and Mai are meeting in a sitting room. Ty Lee is nervous and Mai wonders if Ty Lee thinks that she’s mad at her, but Ty Lee hastens to reassure her. Mai’s aura indicates that she’s anxious and struggling to maintain control during this conversation. Mai is upset about “Zuko’s mistake,” but she doesn’t blame Ty Lee for it—she knows who to blame (Azula, probably, but maybe both her and Zuko). Mai doesn’t think that it was a bad idea for Zuko to team up with June, because the bounty hunter will track Azula down in short order and have her back in custody.

Ty Lee is not enthused about this idea. Despite knowing that Mai isn’t going to like it, she tells Mai that Azula shouldn’t be put back into the asylum. As trash of a human being as J. K. Rowling is, I can’t help but think of the quote, “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends.” Ty Lee, you are the overlooked and unsung hero of this story. There should be shrines in your honor.

Mai never likes it when Ty Lee brings up Azula, and usually deflects the conversation. Ty Lee also sees Mai less than she sees Azula, so they don’t get much of a chance to talk anyway. “Ty Lee still felt a little guilty about that, but Mai was always so busy, and Mai and Zuko would never even talk about Azula when she was the one who brought them all together in the first place….”

A few things here. Ty Lee and Mai are maybe a little like Ty Lee and Zuko, in that they call each other friends, but it doesn’t seem like anyone is putting in the effort to be friends. Mai could be making more time for Ty Lee. Mai could be trying to empathize with Ty Lee over the Azula issue. At the same time, I think Mai has been trying to set a boundary with Ty Lee about Azula, but either Mai hasn’t made it clear enough to Ty Lee that this is a boundary, or Ty Lee isn’t able to respect it because Azula is so important to her. It seems like there are competing needs at work here, and the feelings on both sides are valid.

At the same time, this situation has been festering for years. It’s clear that Mai has never been at peace with her feelings towards Azula, and that this is hurting her as much as it’s going to hurt Azula. I think Mai’s hatred for Azula is founded on the love she once had for her. While a large part of her might think that Azula deserved her fate, and even found it satisfying to see Azula brought low, there might also be a small part of her that wonders if that fall was partially her fault (it was, since Mai accidentally slammed down on Azula’s triggers), and feels guilty for it and for feeling that satisfaction. Also, from the way she’s been behaving, Mai might very well have been just as toxic and false a friend to Azula as she accuses Azula of being to her. She didn’t communicate her needs or desires to Azula, but instead let herself boil alive with resentment. She might blame Azula for how things went down, but she’s ignoring the role she played in it.

As the conversation continues, Ty Lee dances around why it would be bad to send Azula back to the asylum (because Azula is pregnant), and Mai says, “‘She tell you they abused her? And here I thought it was her dad.’”

Which brings another layer into this. I’m going to discuss this in more detail later, but Mai has now been confronted with the idea that Azula was an abused child—just as abused as Zuko was. And besides this recontextualizing Azula’s behavior, now Mai is left to wonder, “How did I never notice?” I think there’s a tiny part of her, one that she denies, that is appalled over what happened to Azula.

Ty Lee, who loves Azula whole-heartedly, is HORRIFIED by this revelation. She feels like the ground is “rushing up to hit her” and remembers how Ozai treated her, the last night she spent in the castle as a kid. And then she…well: “But Azula was so strong, she wouldn’t let anyone do that to her, would she? At least she would have told Ty Lee, they were best friends!” Oh Ty Lee, honey. That’s not how abuse works. Azula wouldn’t have told anyone, both because she was ordered not to by her abuser, but also because that would have meant being vulnerable around someone else. Does that sound like something Azula would do?

Mai says that Azula must have been lying about the abuse, but the thing is, Azula didn’t tell Mai about it. Zuko did. And even Mai doesn’t really believe it is a lie, if Ty Lee’s aura-reading is accurate. Mai’s just trying really hard to believe in her own lie. Mai argues that Ty Lee only ever sees the good in people—which isn’t true, since Ty Lee can see the flaws in people, but is more forgiving of them than the other characters are (except for Aang). Mai wonders if Ty Lee has convinced herself that there’s goodness in Azula where there is none.

And that’s…a lot. Because there’s a mix of good and bad in everyone. Some people lean more towards one end of the spectrum than the other, but if you look hard enough, you’ll always find something that humanizes even the most saintly or heinous of people. My stepmother, who was emotionally and psychologically abusive, wasn’t pure evil. She made my father happy. She was fiercely protective of those she loved. She made the best oatmeal cookies in the world and shared my passion for sappy romances. I’ve progressed enough in my healing that I can see these things, and see her as a troubled person who made mistakes and never got the help she needed. But Mai…she hasn’t healed the way I have. She hasn’t forgiven Azula. She might never be able to do that, either, given recent events (and she doesn’t have to—that’s her choice to make). And as long as that’s the case, it’s so much easier for her to demonize Azula, because if Azula is a demon, then Mai doesn’t have to grapple with the messy reality of Azula as a person, or grapple with how Ozai’s, Zuko’s, and Mai’s own choices damaged her.

Then we get this passage, which I’m going to quote in full, because it’s a slap in the face to absolutist thinking where Azula is concerned:

“‘I know she did some bad things, some awful things even, but that was four years ago and she was just a kid! We all were!’ [Ty Lee] argued [ . . . ] ‘And most of that stuff she did on her dad’s orders, and who knows what he would’ve done if she refused—’

‘Oh yes, poor helpless little victim,’ Mai interrupted coldly, rising to her feet with more grace than Ty Lee. ‘It’s not like she ever had a choice.’

‘She had a choice, but this stuff makes a difference, Mai!’ Ty Lee insisted, desperate to make her see it. ‘It makes a difference how we judge what she did! And we know now she was crazy!’ Ty Lee seized on the horrible truth with more enthusiasm than she would ever have guessed, spreading her hands to offer explanation. ‘Doesn’t that make a difference to you?’”

Context. Matters. It matters so much when you’re judging someone’s behavior. If someone is under duress, or isn’t fully in their right mind, or if they have no good choices, can we really blame them from making bad ones? And in Azula’s case, she was a child. Should she really have been written off by anyone, let alone our heroes?

Mai doesn’t believe that Azula was mentally ill, though. That was just a part of Azula’s scheme, you see. Ty Lee is rightly appalled by this. “‘Even if—you thought she just made it up—to avoid prison or something,’ she grasped at the logic only loosely, because it was disgusting, ‘you can’t deny what it did to her! She starved herself almost to death, she almost died!’” I really appreciate that Ty Lee is disgusted by Mai’s reasoning here. You go, Ty Lee! Four for you, Ty Lee! You’re the only reasonable person from the Fire Nation in this cast, I swear.

Ty Lee reminds Mai that there were witnesses to Azula’s deteriorating mental state, but realizes that Mai is in denial about this: “Realization leaked through cold and creeping as the egg Ty Lin broke over her head that one time. ‘Or maybe you can deny it,’ she whispered, horrified, and took a swift step back with hands raised before her when Mai lifted her head.” Yeah, I’m fully in agreement with Ty Lee’s horror. She’s looking at a friend who is so twisted up by resentment that she has lost sight of reality, in favor of believing a comfortable lie—namely, that Azula is irredeemable and so Mai doesn’t need to care about what happens to her. Even though Mai does need to care about this, because Zuko and Ty Lee will be gutted if Azula dies, and the Fire Nation will probably go to war over it.

“‘I didn’t see her because she treated me like shit,’ Mai spoke deliberately.” Mai is right that she doesn’t have to have Azula in her life if she doesn’t want Azula there. You don’t have to have anyone in your life who has hurt you. But that isn’t all that’s going on here. Mai is still smoldering with anger four years later, and her inability to let that anger go has been eating her alive. It’s making her lash out at Zuko and Ty Lee when they try to broach the subject of Azula. This isn’t healthy for her or anyone else. This is just a continuation of the behavior that plagued her as a teenager—suppressing all of her negative emotions until they explode outwards, rather than allowing herself to feel them, accept them, learn from them, and move on.

When Mai points out that she doesn’t owe Azula anything, Ty Lee replies that she wouldn’t have met or fallen in love with Zuko if she hadn’t been Azula’s friend. This stings for Mai, given that the siblings have had sex: “‘She gives, and she takes away….’”

Ty Lee, being more perceptive than anyone gives her credit for, figures out that something must have happened. She’s very sympathetic, asking if Mai wants to talk about it. Mai panics and has another angry outburst, thinking that Azula must have told Ty Lee about what Zuko did. “[Ty Lee] was reminded uncannily of how Azula reacted to Mai’s rejection at the Boiling Rock, and found it hard to fathom how Mai hadn’t run for the hills on receiving such a look.” This is interesting, because it suggests that part of the reason why Mai loathes Azula so much is because of the similarities between them. There is nothing more unsettling than seeing a dark mirror of yourself in someone else.

Ty Lee doesn’t know what Mai is talking about, and then kicks herself for revealing that to Mai: “Azula would have known enough to pretend she already knew, so Mai would tell her.” Mai shuts down at this point and tells Captain Tadao to take Ty Lee to her rooms, because they’ve “embarrassed each other enough for one day” and that they’ll talk later.

Ty Lee knows that’s bullshit. “They wouldn’t because Mai never wanted to talk about Azula, and was extra unlikely to want to talk about Azula when she had problems of her own with Zuko.” I’m sure that Mai was reluctant to talk about Azula with Ty Lee because she didn’t think that Ty Lee would let her vent about her anger towards Azula, or understand it and not make excuses for Azula. Which is fair, but Mai should have found someone else to vent to to get the poison out, and then circled back to seeing Azula as a human being who fucked up.

Actually, you know what Mai probably needs? She needs to confront Azula about what happened between them, because she hasn’t seen Azula since the Boiling Rock. Yeah, Mai had a cool line about loving Zuko more than fearing Azula, but that didn’t get into her specific grievances, or allow Azula to address or apologize for them to give Mai closure. And we know that Azula feels bad about what she did, because it was what haunted her the most when she was having her breakdown. If Azula really was a monster, then she wouldn’t feel that remorse.

“Ty Lee felt bad about that, and she wanted to help Mai, she really did”—Ty Lee is too good for this sinful Earth—“but Mai wouldn’t tell her anything, and even though her problems seemed bad, Azula’s could get her killed—” Yeah, the most reasonable one of the bunch, our Ty Lee.

Ty Lee begs Mai to do something to help Azula, because she’ll die if the Earth Kingdom catches her. Ty Lee has this heart-wrenching speech: “‘I know you guys had problems, and—maybe you think she was never your friend [ . . . ] But she thought of you as a friend, Mai, she told me so! She fought so hard to get better, she’s a better person now, and she deserves a second chance! But she’ll never get that chance unless we help her.’” Carve my heart out and eat it, why don’t you?

And Mai…is unmoved by this. And condescending about it. “‘I hoped your actions might prove you were ready to cut ties with her too. But clearly you can’t be trusted to know what’s best for you” She’s referring here to Ty Lee seemingly choosing the Kyoshi Warriors over Azula. But also, it’s gross that Mai assumes that she knows what is best for Ty Lee. Fuck off with that, Mai.

Mai doubles down on the whole, “Azula’s awful, I don’t owe her anything, and don’t come crying to me when she hurts you” schtick. If she’d met the adult version of Azula and seen that version of her hurt someone, such as Ty Lee, then this reaction would make sense. What this is instead is Mai holding onto a grudge that is years old and using it as a weapon. She’s clinging to the idea that Azula can never change…even though that’s not how people work. Especially not people in the formative years of their lives, which they all still qualify as.

Aaaand Ty Lee, panicking now, reveals that Azula is pregnant as a last-ditch effort to get Mai to get her head out of her black-clad butt and see reason. Mai goes into despairing shock at this news and accidentally cuts herself with her own knife, much to Ty Lee’s and Captain Tadao’s alarm. One of the guards tries to grab Ty Lee, but Ty Lee chi-blocks him and he collapses. The next one manages to grab her. Mai orders them to remove Ty Lee from the room, and instead of putting Ty Lee in her guest bedroom, they stick her in a study.

We learn that Ty Lee actually likes Tadao, because he works hard and doesn’t dismiss Ty Lee’s suggestions on how to improve palace security. He’s the one who comes to see Ty Lee instead of Mai. He tells her that Mai is going to be fine. She might have a scar on her hand, but she’ll still be able to use it. When Ty Lee wonders why she got so upset, Tadao points out that since Mai and Azula are sisters-in-law, Azula’s condition will have an impact on Mai. This is also “the latest in a recent line of insults.” To put it another way, Mai is bitter at Azula for having sex with Zuko and throwing that wrench into her marriage (namely, by revealing that Zuko is not the person she thought he was). Then there are the political considerations, given that Azula’s kid could have a place in the line of succession, if the kid gets legitimized someday. Which then puts little Lu Ten’s claim at risk.

This also reveals that Captain Tadao knows what happened between Azula and Zuko. For a second, I thought that he was Mai’s uncle, and so the ugly secret was just between them and the Fire siblings. But no, more people know about it, and that is NOT GOOD. But Captain Tadao seems like a good guy (sidebar, but was he the guy who escorted baby Ty Lee out of the palace during the abortion episode? It would be a sweet connection if so), and when Ty Lee asks why Mai won’t confide in her about what is going on between her and Zuko, Tadao is gentle when he tells her, “‘I think you know the answer to that question.’” Ty Lee’s love for Azula and Mai’s hatred of her is something they cannot reconcile, and given how important Azula is in their lives, it’s a potential dealbreaker for them, at least as far as having a close emotional, trusting relationship goes. A casual friendship is still possible, but probably not if Mai or Ty Lee keep pushing each other.

Mai has decided to pack Ty Lee off to Kyoshi Island, and has gotten her a ticket and an escort to the harbor. Ty Lee has written Mai a letter to continue their conversation. I’m struck by how fast Mai is pushing Ty Lee out of the Fire Nation. What if Ty Lee wanted to visit her family? What if she wanted to enjoy some spicy homecooked Fire Nation food? What if she, god forbid, decided to visit Ozai for a nice shouting match (well, shouting at his comatose body, more like)? Alas, the plot beckons us forward!

We find ourselves back with Zuko and June. Hooray? I put a question mark there because Zuko doesn’t appearing to be having a good time with the bounty hunter. He is, in fact, puking his guts out. Traveling with June has the feeling of a boot camp to Zuko, because she keeps trying to “toughen him up”: “It reminded Zuko uncomfortably of his father’s early tutelage, before Ozai gave up shaping him into an unfeeling weapon of war, and turned his sights to Azula instead.” Oh Zuko, if you knew what Ozai was trying to shape YOU into, then why blame Azula for—at least in your eyes—becoming it?

June puts all of the gross chores of their journey onto him, and tries to steal his food to see if he’s cunning enough to get it back. I’m sure she finds this amusing, but I remember how hard Zuko’s journey apart from Iroh was, and I think she might have an overly inflated opinion of her teaching skills.

In any case, they find the Dai Li agent hiding in a cave and June forces Zuko to interrogate him. It sounds like June is doing the heavy-lifting where torturing the man is concerned, though. June keeps telling Zuko to burn the man, and reminds him that Azula will be tortured if she’s captured. Eventually, the man begs Zuko to kill him, and Zuko has a flashback to when he was burned by Ozai: “he could only think of a hand wreathed in flame, reaching for him.” It’s at this point that Zuko throws up. He tries to argue that the man deserves this: “He would have blackmailed me, hunted my sister down like an animal. He wouldn’t flinch from torturing her, even killing her if he was ordered.” This line of reasoning doesn’t give him any comfort, though.

I do want to point out that torture, despite what fiction would like us to believe, is an ineffective tool for getting reliable information out of someone. Oftentimes it’s bribery that works better, such as, “You know we can’t let you go, but if you tell us what we want to know, we can make sure that no harm comes to your loved ones.” People in pain will say anything to make it stop, so gentler methods are more effective. However, it’s become ingrained in our cultural consciousness that torture works, despite what studies have shown. And since hurting the villain can be cathartic to an audience, and a hero hurting the villain can tell us something about them as a person, it comes up a LOT in action stories. And while I am exhausted by it being used in this way (torture as a tool of the villains tracks better, since there is no shortage of people who find satisfaction in making other people feel pain), I do see why it is used here. It’s only recently that the ineffectiveness of torture has become more generally known, whereas Zuko lives in a time period analogous to…probably the late 1800s?

I do wish that the torture here hadn’t yielded the information that it had, or that this information turned out to be bunk upon investigating it. As if it, the Dai Li agent is mostly filling in non-vital information: that he worked as an orderly at the asylum and had a partner there, hence how he got to the beach house on Ember Island so fast. So the partner needs to be taken care of at some point soon. Zuko better remember to send that letter!

Then we get this chilling thought from Zuko: “Zuko considered for the first time what might have happened, if she had not run from the asylum. If the Earth Kingdom grew impatient [ . . . ] it would have been appallingly easy to make her death look like a suicide, an accident overdose, a bad reaction to her medication….” Yeah, she was definitely a sitting duck there.

“He wondered if Azula knew, or suspected, that she was in the care of her enemies when she decided to run [ . . . ] She had an instinct for these things. The only time she hadn’t seen it coming was when her friend betrayed her. And when Zuko left to join Aang in ending the war, if her converse [sic] with absent fathers was to be believed—" I don’t know if Azula ever knew that there were Dai Li agents lurking about, but even Zuko is starting to see why Azula has such bad trust issues.

It looks like June continued with the torture and got the location of her dad out of her victim. I really wish she’d gotten a fake location, but I understand that the plot necessitates a swift end to this subplot. June hopes that Zuko is less squeamish about violence when someone is out to kill him, but I’m sure he would be fine in that situation, because that would be a fair fight, rather than causing someone who is helpless and incapacitated a useless amount of pain. June killed the agent in the end, and when Zuko argues that torturing him wasn’t right, and she replies with, “‘It was necessary. You head one of the most powerful nations in the world, don’t you know what that is?’”

And…(sigh)…yes, leaders need to make tough calls sometimes. But if they choose to do something this ugly, they really shouldn’t be fine with it afterwards. They should acknowledge that it was evil, but that they couldn’t see another way to accomplish their goal. That route accepts more responsibility than hiding behind the idea that it was for “the greater good” and that no one else could have thought of a better path forward. When June says that the torture was necessary, that doesn’t make it not evil. It just means that she didn’t see another way to get what she needed.

June then points out that Ozai was a helpless prisoner when Zuko burned him, which stings Zuko. I would argue that Zuko is right about it being different—his crime was one of passion, whereas June’s was coldly calculated. But both ultimately led to human suffering, so both of them were wrong to do it.

Zuko takes a deep breath to keep from lashing out at June, which tells us that he CAN manage his anger when he wants to. He’s struggling, though, because he’s tempted to tell June what Ozai did to Azula to justify burning his dad. He decides not to: “It didn’t feel right somehow, telling anyone else about the abuse. He wondered if this was how Uncle felt when he found out, and why he didn’t say anything. He still should have said something….” Zuko is right—Azula’s trauma isn’t his to share. He also goes from having empathy for Iroh to being angry with him in a split second, which makes sense. He’s conflicted about how his uncle handled the discovery. At the very least, Iroh should have told her doctors, so she could get the care she needed.

“How many more of [June’s] cruelties would he have to witness or take part in, before this was over?” This is rough and why I am not a fan of characters like June. Azula’s actions in this fic are calculated to minimize harm; June has no such scruples. She’s too much in “the ends justify the means” frame of mind.

Zuko has two thoughts that suggest that Azula is the devil on his shoulder, as far as his brain is concerned. “You would [burn Ozai] again” and “You could kill [June . . . ] Remove the threat.” He describes the latter thought as being “so alien and disturbing Azula might have suggested it herself.” No, my dude. Just like hallucination!Ursa is a reflection of Azula’s doubts, whispering!Azula is a reflection of Zuko’s darker thoughts and impulses, which he deflects onto her because that is easier for him to do than face the darkness within himself.

He then has some off-color thoughts about June, besides the idea of murdering her. “Sometimes Zuko thought she was more animal than woman”—Gross!—“and didn’t know whether to be turned on or disgusted by her antics. He had even wondered once in the long hours he spent riding behind her how Mai would look dressed all in black leather like that.” This would be a much lighter story if Zuko and Mai had just embraced his leather kink, rather than him embracing his toxic desire to possess Azula.

As June taunts him about how he wouldn’t win if he tried to kill her, he figures out that she knows that he slept with Azula. She confirms it: “‘Your secret’s out. I might have forgot to mention our mutual friend let that slip, before the end. He got a message to the others. Looks like we should’ve moved faster.’” This means that Zuko, Azula, Mai, Mai’s uncle, Tadao, June, and now some unnamed Dai Li agents—who will probably pass this information along to their superiors—are in the know. That is very bad! Zuko had better hope that they’ll be able to spin this information as slander against him and his family, because if people believe it, his family is going to have a tough time holding onto the throne.

June throws in that now she knows why he has problems with women, which Zuko denies. I feel like he’s better about women than Iroh and Ozai, but his treatment of Azula is definitely skeevy. June, in any case, isn’t bothered by this information, because she doesn’t have siblings as far as she knows. She also doesn’t have the same cultural teachings as Zuko, so she doesn’t have the same taboos that he does.

We switch over to Mai, who is sulking in Zuko’s study. She’s read Ty Lee’s letter a few times by now and is not impressed. She thinks that she’s entitled to be upset, given the situation, and I can’t fault her for that. “That a man so endearingly awkward and painfully sincere would betray her with anyone, let alone his manipulative bitch of a sister, was a permissible source of surprise.” While I don’t like how she describes Azula, I agree with the rest of her sentiment.

“That Azula would take fullest advantage of his lapse was not.” This is ridiculous, though. What, did Azula plan to escape while she was ovulating so that she would become pregnant when she seduced her brother? Is that how the story is going in your brain, Mai? Why would Azula do something like that? She’d be disgraced if anyone found out, just as much as Zuko (unless she spun it as rape, which IT WAS. But Mai seems to be thinking that Azula would make a false accusation). Azula certainly will be disgraced if she has a bastard. Also, her being pregnant is going to slow her down and make her more vulnerable. That’s such a stupid plan, and when have Azula’s plans ever been stupid?

“Mai bent her head and gripped her bandaged hand, to draw a deep breath against the grief that welled inside her like an aching void. A void that demanded how he could do this, how he could still defend her, how he could think she didn’t plan this, why—” Mai is struggling because she knows that she was mostly betrayed by Zuko (she no longer trusted Azula, so how could Azula betray her?), but she can’t help but think that Azula had an evil plan. Probably because if Azula did have an evil plan, then maybe Mai could someday forgive Zuko for falling for it.

Her uncle arrives and she tells him the news. “And Mai felt a rush of ruthless satisfaction, upon seeing the warden back into the desk adjacent to her, revulsion etched in every line of his aging face. It wasn’t just her. Zuko tried to act like this was a terrible but legitimate mistake, like it was at all comparable to anything he’d done wrong before. But her uncle knew. He knew it was an abomination.” Yeah, Zuko and Azula committed a big cultural taboo. It’s unsurprising that other people are reacting this way. Also, I’m sure some of Mai’s satisfaction is that finally, someone is on her side, rather than on Zuko’s or Azula’s.

Her uncle voices the idea that maybe the child isn’t Zuko’s at all—that Azula is trying to trap him with a lie—but Mai responds that whether it is or isn’t, Zuko will think it is, and that’s what will matter. She then reflects on her own sexual history with Zuko. They were sleeping together before he defected, and they continued to carry on without protection when he returned. It took two years before she became pregnant with Lu Ten, long enough that she’d wondered if Zuko was waiting to marry her until he was sure she could get pregnant. Which even she knows is a silly idea. He probably just didn’t think to make their union official until she got pregnant and he realized that he should do the “honorable” thing and wed her.

Mai is salty about Azula getting pregnant from one night with him, when it took so much longer for her. When her uncle asks her what she plans to do, she comments that Azula’s medical records have gone missing. Zuko might have them?

“‘Supposedly she almost died in the asylum,’ Mai explained, her words ringing strangely hollow to her own ears. ‘Her doctors said she would never fully recover. I wanted to know if I could reasonably expect this to kill her.’ She tried to imagine the princess bleeding out, that she might die screaming in the same agony Mai endured when Lu Ten was born—and couldn’t. But there would be time enough to consider why later.” Mai can’t imagine her ex-friend dying. As much as she hates Azula, I don’t think she genuinely wants Azula dead, as convenient as that would be for her.

She then subtly suggests to her uncle that they could make it look like Azula just bled out like that—a tragic turn of events, but not anyone’s fault. Mai then accuses Zuko of being irrationally protective of Azula and that he’ll set Mai aside if she moves against Azula openly. I’m not sure Zuko would really do that, since he loves Mai deeply, but I don’t think their marriage would ever recover if Mai killed Azula.

Her uncle notices her hand, and we get this sweet moment: “Mai put her hand in his offered palm without hesitation. A reflex born of the first months she spent training with knives under his tutelage, when he had often [sic] to tend nicks and cuts gained in her practice. When Mai showed no signs of firebending by her fifth birthday, it was her Uncle Tom who first put a blade in her hand, and offered his home for the summer, so she might learn to use it.” When Mai mentioned that her current injury was an accident, her uncle adds, “‘A man like that isn’t worth hurting yourself over.’”

This is a genuinely sweet relationship, and it makes me wish that he had been the one who raised Mai, instead of her parents. She probably would have learned how to express her emotions in a healthy way, rather than bottling them up. He also doesn’t seem to care that she was a girl and had gender roles to conform to. Really, I’m glad that he’s in her corner. She needs someone to be, because this situation is legitimately awful for her.

Mai gets a hug from her uncle, which I think she’s needed for a while. She thanks him for being there for her and not saying, “I told you so,” because her uncle never approved of Zuko. They even make a joke about the situation, about how neither of them thought Zuko would cheat on her with his sister, which is some very dark humor.

Things take a turn when her uncle comments that the Royal family has been corrupt since Sozin, to which Mai replies that he should be careful, because her son is one of them. Tsutomu then suggests that he doesn’t have to be—that if something happened to Zuko, Lu Ten could be raised away from the toxicity of the paternal side of his family. Mai doesn’t like this idea, but her uncle keeps pushing, suggesting that if Zuko has cheated once, maybe he’s done so before and will do so again. Mai shoots this line of reasoning down, because she’s questioned their household about it and knows better, and doesn’t think that Zuko will stray again. Tsutomu keeps suggesting that they could have Zuko killed, and Mai tells him to stop thinking about it. He insists that he would never do anything without her consent. I want to trust him on this, but given later events, I worry that he might have some involvement there. If he does, it will be a case of him thinking that he knows what’s best for her, rather than respecting her wishes.

We then shift back to Azula, who was being pursued by Fong’s men, but managed to shake them when she entered the swamp. Unfortunately, her mount broke its leg when they were running down the mountain, so Azula had to put it down. What a waste! It would have been cruel to let it suffer, though. Azula wanted to trade her ostrich horse for a different mount, but the sandbenders never showed up. She travelled in the desert for a while, keeping the mountains in sight to avoid getting lost, but she needed more water before long. That was when she was discovered by Fong’s men, and she has a couple of sardonic thoughts about how her “famous luck” hadn’t helped her out.

She then starts trekking through the standing water in the marsh, and I’m already shuddering at the thought of all of the mosquitos there. Though they’re probably crossed with something like a wasp to make them extra horrible. Azula climbs up a tree to see if she can spot her pursuers, and thinks about how stupid they were to advertise their intentions in a fight. Fair! We also get the interesting tidbit that benders and nonbenders in the Earth Kingdom tend to work together in squads, whereas this team was specifically all earthbenders and was patrolling during peace time. Azula takes this to mean that they were searching for her. We also learn that Azula is heading to an avatar shrine.

Azula’s pack is waterlogged at this point, and she sighs in a way that reminds her of Mai. This thought leads her to reflect on her ex-friend, much like Mai was doing earlier in the chapter. There is a humous moment where Azula thinks that Mai would have given herself up to avoid stepping into the swamp, and then a bitter one as she thinks, “You never minded getting your hands dirty except in the most literal sense. Yet it was you and not Ty Lee who finally suffered a crisis of conscience—” Meaning that Mai’s betrayal really did come out of nowhere for Azula.

At this, Azula starts hallucinating Mai. She nearly falls out of the tree in surprise, with her pack opening up and her supplies tumbling into the water. Hallucination!Mai is offended by Azula’s thoughts, reminding Azula that she loved Zuko and didn’t want his blood on her hands. Azula, after a moment, reminds herself that she’s not in the asylum anymore, so what she’s seeing could just be a trick of the light or her imagination…except the Gaang ran into visions in this swamp, so it might be magic at work.

Azula tries to get herself back onto the branch properly, but can’t manage a full crunch. Oh buddy, I feel you. She then does the way more impressive thing by swinging backwards, releasing the branch, and grabbing the vines to stop her fall on the way down. She notices that her pursuers are spreading out around the edge of the swamp, probably to intercept her when she emerges. She figures they’ll wait for reinforcements and might try to flush her out when they have better numbers.

Azula considers that there might be dangers in the swamp that she’ll have to deal with, such as “deadly beasts or hostile primitives.” (Sigh.) Sometimes, her being from an imperialist society rears its ugly head. She figures that she needs to make her way to the far end of the swamp before her pursuers do. She takes some time to regather her supplies and then starts the wet trek, while being swarmed by mosquitos. She decides to heat the air around her to try to drive them off. I wish I could do that on summer evenings!

We shift over to Zuko, who is fighting with a team of Dai Li. Looks like he and June have arrived at the hideout! June has coated her whip in shirsu weapon, which works well and makes her match with Nyla. Zuko notes that the Dai Li are trying to use lethal force on him and June, since they aren’t there on official Fire Lord business, so no one will know who killed them. June at one point does a handspring that would have impressed Ty Lee, which is a fun detail, and then Zuko pulls a leaf out of June’s book and makes some fire whips. Once they’ve taken care of the team, they go through the cave and pass by the crystal cells, which June doesn’t bother to check because there are no guards around. Zuko has a sinking feeling that some of the guards must have smuggled June’s dad out and they’ll have to start the search all over again, which means that one of the unconscious men they left behind might get a spot of torture. BUT Nyla knocked out the guards before they could flee on ostrich-horseback, so June’s dad is fine and trying to get his cuffs off.

June’s father is a balding man with a squarish face and glasses. He teases June for taking so long, and then notices Zuko. There’s an argument about the logistics of the fight, the point of it being that June wasn’t sure if Zuko was going to hold his own, and that if he got caught, she was worried that he would have told them which way June and her father ran. Zuko is insulted at the idea that he would have ratted them out, and asks if they would have left him behind. June says that they wouldn’t have, mostly because it would have come back to bite them if they had. Zuko reminds her that now that her father is free, it’s time for her to fulfill her part of the deal and track down Azula. June asks him if he has a scent sample from Azula on him, because the last one they had is ashes now, and led Nyla to him anyway.

He thinks there are still things in the house on Ember Island that they could use, and remembers some of what happened that night: “Her lips moved silently, forming the same word over and over again. He knew what word she spoke now, two months too late…. I used her no more kindly than him.” Yikes! That word is father and just…ugh. This twisted family. I was trying to explain the appeal of this fic to a friend last night, and I kept saying, “It’s really dark and heavy, but it’s fascinating from a psychological standpoint!”

The trio decide to head to Ember Island. If nothing there works as a sample, they’ll go to the palace. I don’t think there would be fresh enough scents there, so the beach house will have to work. Zuko thinks that after they find Azula, he’ll “make amends, the only way he had left.” Presumably he means to Azula, but he could also be talking about Mai, since Mai also wants Azula caught, though his sister’s fate afterwards would probably be darker than what Zuko wants.

We switch back to Azula, who is being badgered by Hallucination!Mai. I am a little amused about the joke she makes about Azula never lacking direction, though the direction was sometimes the wrong one. If this is Azula’s self-doubt talking, then that’s an acknowledgement that she’s made mistakes and hasn’t always gone down the right path, which flies in the face of her usual self-confidence. There is a suggestion that this hallucination is actually a swamp vision, rather than a symptom of Azula’s mental illness. Unlike her normal hallucinations, this image of Mai vanishes as soon as she looks too closely at it. “Strange that the hallucinations at the asylum never did that.”

This Mai talks more than the hallucinated version of her did. “‘You ever think maybe I didn’t say much, ‘cause I knew you didn’t care what I had to say?’” this Mai says. Azula, tired and bitter, snaps back sarcastically, pointing out that she asked for Mai’s council many times and trusted her as much as she allowed herself to trust anyone. I suspect part of what’s going on here is that Azula is grappling with her fear about how other people—specifically the people she loved—view her. She fears that they see her as a monster and that they’re right to do so, because of the choices she’s made. It’s one thing to have your family by blood betray you, but another thing to have your chosen family do so.

Azula admits that she used Mai’s “infatuation” with Zuko for her own self-gain (clearly not realizing the depth of Mai’s love for Zuko), but that she “still expected Mai to be smart enough to act in her own self-interest.” She was secure in that belief, otherwise she wouldn’t have brought Mai to the Boiling Rock or let Mai have the “first crack at Zuko.” From the sound of it, Azula thought that she was giving Mai a chance for revenge over being left behind by Zuko. Except that Mai couldn’t stand by as he was killed….

Which Azula doesn’t understand. “‘He was a traitor!’ Azula screeched in disbelief, her fist clenched so hard she could feel every bone in her hand. ‘He betrayed you just as much as me! And you still chose him!’ Her voice broke. I was your friend first. He wasn’t anything to you anymore. He ended it in a letter, too much of a coward to tell you to your face. He hadn’t even left her a letter, or any warning of what to expect, the next time she was called before their father….”

While it was a good thing for the world that Zuko chose to help Aang, these are all solid points. Zuko did betray his Fire Lord and nation, so from their perspective, he is a traitor (who, in addition to defecting, then took the throne from Ozai’s appointed heir). He didn’t break up with Mai in person. He didn’t think about what Ozai might do to Azula afterwards. Zuko could certainly have handled the latter situations better.

Vision!Mai devalues Azula’s friendship next, saying that it didn’t compare to his love, and that Zuko was the love of Mai’s life, whereas Azula was a monster. It’s playing right into Azula’s deeply held belief that the reason no one loves and chooses her is because there’s something inherently wrong with her—something that isn’t wrong with Zuko (even though Zuko has fucked up in this story real bad).

Azula punches a tree in anger and thinks that the hallucinations have said worse to her than this, which is super sad. What’s even sadder is that Azula thinks the same things about herself, even without them around: “didn’t Azula think that about herself every day?” She needs some real therapy, not whatever she was getting in the asylum.

Azula is lost by this point, and decides that she needs to find a dry place to sleep and recover, rather than continuing to drain herself by wandering around. Once she gets into the hollow of an old tree trunk, she takes off her socks and boots to avoid trench foot. Good plan! Though couldn’t she also dry out both with her bending? Probably for the best to let her feet air out, though. She then tries to eat, but her food has bog-water in it, and the rice apparently looks like maggots. Gross! She gets sicks, which could be from her morning sickness, from a blood-borne disease from the mosquitos, from the contaminated food, or from a combination of the above. After throwing up a second time—the Fire siblings both have delicate stomachs this chapter!—she decides to stick to drinking water instead.

Azula is getting chills now, which suggests that she’s genuinely sick. She then sees Vision!Mai again, who gives her a nasty Reason You Suck Speech. She accuses Azula of not knowing what love or trust is—excuse me, Ty Lee is proof that that’s not true!—and then adds, “‘You never respected me, or my boundaries, or anything that was mine.’” I’m trying to remember if there was evidence for this in the show, or if this is Azula trying to come up with reasons for why Mai turned on her, and wondering if it was these things? That Azula feels guilty about this, though, shows that she is capable of seeing what she did wrong and learning from it. She can grow as a person…though she needs to be allowed to do so by the people around her. Ty Lee gave her that chance and now their relationship is much healthier. But it’s hard to grow when the people around you keep punishing you for what you did, and never believe that the growth you’ve made is genuine.

Mai then asks, “‘Why else would you seduce [Zuko]?’” which Azula denies, saying she didn’t mean for it to go that far. Apparently, Azula hoped that the kiss would distract him, and then she’d be able to chi-block him so he couldn’t move. Unfortunately, he reacted by throwing her into a nightstand, and after she twisted her ankle, there was no running away.

Mai accuses her of lying—that she did it because she saw Zuko’s weakness and was exploiting it. She asks, “‘How did it feel when he did that to you?’” and Azula doesn’t respond. I think this is where, if she’d felt any pleasure or satisfaction from the sex, it would sneak in and provide an extra layer of shame. That it doesn’t suggests that all Azula felt was violation and pain in the act.

Mai says that this must be why Azula hates her—not because of the betrayal of their friendship, but because she “played the game better than [Azula]. And [Azula] lost.” If I’m parsing this right, Azula thinks that Mai believes that Azula wanted Zuko, and that because Mai won Zuko, Mai got more political power than Azula, beating Azula at the political game. It’s an ugly take, and while I don’t think Mai’s accusations are fair—because we’ve seen from Azula’s perspective what her motives were—this does show that Azula knows Mai quite well, because the real Mai’s thoughts run along similar lines as the vision’s. Real Mai believes that Azula seduced Zuko to blackmail him and continue playing the political game, when in reality, it was a terrible mistake. Azula might have “started it,” thanks to Ozai’s training, but she never would have considered kissing Zuko if Ozai hadn’t done what he did.

Azula asserts that she hasn’t lost until she’s dead. I don’t think she means “winning Zuko” when she says this. She then puts out the fire and goes to sleep, dreaming about her father. After Zuko was banished, her training went into high gear, with more lessons on statecraft and the like. She was so busy that she didn’t have time to miss Zuko—which is definitely a lie—and he would have spoiled her happiness anyway by sulking and trying to get their dad’s attention. “It had been a source of amusement one, but they were not children anymore.” Oh honey, you both were children during canon. Maybe Zuko and the water siblings came of age during the show, but that age was still below what we would currently consider the age of majority.

Azula wondered what Zuko would have thought about the sexual training Ozai inflicted on her. Not that she would ever have told Zuko. We then get a series of thoughts that were almost certainly things Ozai told her: “[Azula and Ozai were] willing to do whatever it took to succeed, to survive. [Zuko] would never realize that people will use anything against you, unless they are too afraid of your doing the same.” This is a paranoid way of looking at the world and the people around you, and also self-defeating. If people are afraid of you, they will turn on you the moment they think they can get away with it (and sometimes even before then—Mai knew that she was throwing her life away when she saved Zuko, but she did it regardless). Love and trust, on the other hand, are what makes people will stick by you, even if you’re a walking disaster.

“[Zuko] never saw his own peril, until it was too late. Sometimes Azula thought he still didn’t see it.”—Foreshadowing!

Azula then thinks about the training itself. “Her father said it would hurt the first time”—that’s a myth. If you have a vagina and are aroused and lubricated enough, even the first time shouldn’t hurt. “—but it didn’t only hurt the first time. Sometimes it was hard to know what he wanted, and he was as intolerant of failure in this as in her firebending.” This is awful, but also, Ozai sounds like a terrible sexual partner. You’re supposed to communicate what you want and don’t want during sex. You can’t expect your partner to intuitively know that. They’re not psychic!

“As he should. It made her strong.” Azula, that training didn’t make you strong. It destroyed your boundaries and your ability to approach sex in a healthy way.

“It wasn’t always—Sometimes he would stay with her after, and just talk. She liked those times. It made her feel important. It made her feel loved.” She’s shying away from thinking of it as awful, even though she clearly felt that it was. The implication is also that she didn’t feel important or loved during their other interactions. Ozai, you are a TERRIBLE parent!

Which I think some part of Azula knows, because when she starts to feel the vines from the swamp wrapping around her, she imagines her dad molesting her. Still half-asleep, she lashes out with fire knives to free herself from the vines and runs out of her shelter. It’s daytime—Azula missed rising with the sun—and Azula is sicker now than she was the night before: “Her head pounded, her heart hammered, her joints ached like she took a beating. Her skin burned so hot that steam rose from her body when she hit the water.” This could suggest that she was beaten by Ozai at some point, but then again, all of these characters have been in combat, so that might be what this comparison is referring to.

The plants keep trying to grab her, which I think indicates that the waterbenders in the swamp are trying to catch her. I seem to remember them being the ones in control of the vines, rather than the vines themselves being predatory. Azula manages to escape, but is winded from it, which means that she won’t be able to bend. She’s also dizzy, nauseous, and shivering uncontrollably. Plus, it’s actually evening now, so she slept through most of the day. Azula realizes that she has no idea where her old shelter is, so her supplies are lost to her. She’s experienced abdominal cramps, too, and wonders if she’s miscarrying.

“This was what you wanted, she reminded herself pointlessly, though she knew very well what her mother would say. That she deserved this, for wishing her baby dead. Her tears fell on the water when Azula bent forward to hug herself, head bowed as if she could hold the pain inside anymore—” This might be the first time that Azula thinks of the fetus as her baby, which indicates that she might not want to lose it as much as she thinks she does.

She then hallucinates child!Zuko, which is heartbreaking. He tells her not to cry, “his round face scrunched in the look of unstudied concern their mother loved so well, and which Azula could never recall him directing at her.” Ouch! The dysfunction in their relationship went back really far, didn’t it?

“Didn’t he know the world would beat him down over and over again so long as he kept that way? That not just Father and Azula, but every person with an ounce of cunning would take advantage of him when he wore his heart on his sleeve like that? She told him so many times, but he never listened until it was too late.” So she acknowledges that she and Ozai took advantage of his naivety. She certainly did when she tried to trick Zuko into coming home early in season two. But also, Azula has a point. There are people in the world who take advantage of emotionally open and giving people. I don’t think that the solution to this is to harden your heart, though. Instead, you need to surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you. Zuko did that with the Gaang, which is part of why he succeeded and Azula failed. I’ll also note that Zuko would have done better with Azula as his ally, since she would have been more discerning about who was allowed in his court, and could have told Zuko about their ulterior motives and told him the unpleasant truths he wouldn’t want to hear. As it is, Mai has taken on that role.

“Yet in the end, he prevailed. The world bent to him. He got to be himself without condition, but not her. Never her. She didn’t understand….” Zuko allied himself with what wound up being the winning side, due to Aang defeating Ozai. If Aang had fallen, Zuko’s fate would have been much grimmer.

Zuko made a better choice than Azula did, but it’s important to note that he knew he had a choice. I don’t think Azula realized that leaving was an option for her. Why would she, when she believed that her nation was the best in the world, that their cause was right, and that if she stayed loyal, she would be the ruler of it all in the end? She would have lost everything if she’d left, and gained…what? The Gaang, Iroh, and Zuko hated her, so she couldn’t go to them. Mai and Ty Lee hadn’t defected yet, so she would have been abandoning them. And while she would have escaped Ozai’s abuse, she also saw Ozai as the only person who valued her and loved her for who she was. Even if being around him hurt, it was better than being alone.

No one except Ozai, at any point, held out their hand to Azula and asked her to join them. So while she is responsible for her own choices, how much can we blame her for what she chose, when none of her alternatives seemed viable?

Child!Zuko says that they are playing a game of hide-and-seek, which is true in the grand scheme of this story. He claims that he’ll always find her, which Azula says she no longer wants. He’s disappointed, but insists that it’s getting dark out, so he’ll help her find her way. He then lights the tiniest flame in his hand. “Azula’s stomach clenched painfully at the sight, plucked out from her earliest memories and brought freshly to life. How desperately she wanted to bend when Zuko made his first flame, and she saw how their parents explained over him….” This suggests that neither of Azula’s parents paid much attention to her before she first firebent. No wonder she came to believe that their love was conditional, and that she had to excel at what she did to earn it.

Child!Zuko, seeing her sadness, assures her that she’ll learn how to firebend when she gets older. I think it was mentioned already that she learned when she was three, which is mind-boggling to think about, since she would have been a toddler. He adds that she’ll pick it up in no time, since she’s “smart for a girl.” Ah, that sexism. He could have left it at “you’re smart,” but he had to add that qualifier. While the Fire Nation is less overtly sexist than the EK and the NWT, it’s clear that sexism is still a problem there. That baby Zuko is saying things like this is symptomatic of that.

“Half of what he said might be condescending bullshit, but this was still more supportive than Azula could ever remember him being.” This is very sad, since it means that Zuko started treating her as an adversary very early on in their childhood, once she proved better at something than him. He was jealous of her for earning their father’s interest, for all the good that did her. He was “resentful” when she survived her fall at the Western Air Temple, which is so ugly. He should have been relieved. She thinks of other moments where his hatred for her was apparent, like during the Agni Kai, at the asylum, aaaaand….

“The night he raped her.” And there it is. She can’t bring herself to see what Ozai did to her as rape, but she views what Zuko did as such.

“And she couldn’t reconcile it. How the little boy who stood before her could do—” This is a fascinating parallel to Mai’s thoughts about Zuko earlier in the chapter. Neither of them can understand how he did this. I’m reminded of how shocking it is to find out that someone that you know and care about sexually assaulted someone. What do you do afterwards? The safest option is to cut ties with them, but that doesn’t address the difficulty in doing so when they’re your family, or the grief of doing so when you’ve loved them for so long, only to find out that they weren’t who you thought they were.

Azula starts to ask him why he did what he did, but I think she knows the answer to that—because Zuko hated her and wanted to punish her that night. So instead, Azula asks where this good, caring version of her brother was when she wanted him—which, in the context of this fic, was from the time she was a toddler until now.

“‘Dad killed me,’ the hallucination said forlornly. ‘And you laughed.’” Ozai destroyed Zuko’s innocence just as much as he destroyed Azula’s.

I thought this was a reference to Zuko and Ozai’s Agni Kai, but this seems to actually be referring to when Azulon told Ozai to kill Zuko, and Azula’s teasing about it: “Her chest clutched painfully when she remembered that night, the night her mother left. And Azula thought it was cruelly appropriate that it was not Ursa here with her, at the end.” Ouch!

“She whispered, ‘I didn’t mean it.’”—I believe her, but unfortunately, the real Zuko never realized that.

The vision version of him does, though. “Azula felt his presence as clearly as if he sat on the edge of her bed, when she pulled the covers over her head.” At some point, Azula was just a little girl who hid under the covers. “‘I know,’ she dimly heard him speak. And the last thing she felt was him hugging her shoulders, his head laid against hers.” This is heartbreaking. It’s an exchange they should have had in reality years ago, but one that they might never be able to have, now they’ve hurt each other so badly. This is one of the scenes that sticks with me the most, because of how tragic it is and how poignant the imagery is: of the tiny, kind version of Zuko hugging the adult version of his sister, who is being eaten away by sickness, grief, and remorse.

And on that tearjerking note, we have reached the end of chapter fifteen. As always, thank you for the read, Aurelia. Thank you also to the folks on FFN and Tumblr who have been encouraging me to work on these reviews. Your support has been keeping me going!

Until next time,

WiseAbsol

#Dominion by Aurelia le #Azula #avatar: the last airbender #fanfiction review #WiseAbsol

9 notes · View notes

red-i-mean-blue · 4 years

Text

A:TLA romantic ships part 1

yes, no one asked for my opinions, yes I will give them anyway, yes because I have decided making a bunch of meaningless decisions and arguing for them will improve my mental state, yes I watched the show all in one very sleep deprived go and i’m not interested in rewatching it so yes I have absolutely no sources, yes this is a really long grammatical nightmare because I don’ t know how to be succinct and i use way more words than necessary at any opportunity because if my point doesn’ t come across exactly like i intend it will greatly upset me, no I have not yet watched Korra or read the comics because i’m tired now let’s do this.

includes Kataang, Zutara, Jetkara, Jinko, Maiko, Sukka, Taang, Tokka, Toko Ty Lokka, Tyzula, Yukka bc these were on the Avatar wiki ship list, part two will go into gay ships more

from 0 I despise people who ship this immediately to 10 I will read absolutely anything with this, I love it and could draw it for hours on how much I think the relationship would be good and how happy it makes me

Kataang (looks like a comic book sound effect so plus points)

very clearly built up over the series

cute kid crushes also ngl did not know katara was 14 and not older 12 or 13 so didn’t care about age when watching

now I know she’s 14 and he’s 12 it’s a little weird but still

haters say katara was just the avatar’s trophy girl, as if aang didnt kiss the ground she walked on and wouldnt stop telling anyone how amazing she is. Katara was the first face he saw from the new world and they immediately became friends. she was so excited to meet another bender, he clearly is trying to impress her and it is working, he listens to her about bending and offers to take her to the other side of the world to master water, TELL ME at this moment she is not ride or die and she doesn’t even know he’s the avatar, he lets her feel like a kid again, which is a feeling she’s forgotten after years of being a mother to sokka and the children. he literally sweeps her off her feet to save her from the fire nations ship i-. rewatched boy in the iceberg and hoo boy had canon not messed it up, this ship could have been legendary

hard to imagine older them working out what with the whole last airbender, preserve air nomad culture, let’s travel the world bc nomadic lifestyle, what’s marriage i’m a monk without biological family values vs last southern waterbender, preserve southern water tribe culture, I believe in the power of family and am ridiculously dedicated to my tribe, let me go home to my father and tribe shtick, but I don’t care for after the show finishes much except for following the gang fix the world so I don’t really care about the marriage issue

canon was good until that Mess in season 3, WHY did he kiss her after that speech, wish they talked that out properly, wish he learned letting go of her to open the 7th chakra was the only right decision, wish the ending was a little more vague in ships and just left things open but yk whatever

that finale kiss was sweet, they hugged foremost as friends, no blushing, and then got the fuzzies, that moment standing alone? a+ but without any talking about what happened on ember island, a little unsatisfying

overall, fine ship, not my favourite nor do I actively ship it, but I see a kataang moment, i’m like, sweet so I give it a 6

Zutara (apparently fans are zutarians which looks like an alien race, plus points)

latter half of the show had quite a lot of Zutara potential, but idk about Zutara actual

katara was so ready to drop his ass, no way at the start

there is only one dynamic between them in which I can see Zutara working and that is as in the Stalking Zuko by emletish series where katara is so distrusting over zuko she takes to stalking him to make sure he isn’t doing anything to hurt Aang or about to betray them (her) again but he is just such a sweet dork who keeps trying to apologise to her even while she’s apologising to him for being a bitch that she can’t help but start to trust him, i’m a third into the third book in the series not stalking firelord zuko and I am thriving and tbh this is the only situation where I accept zutara, read the series I love it

age gap is weird, I know it’s the same difference between kataang but they made a point of zuko being older in the show also he’s so much taller and I don’t like 16 year old boys with 14 year old girlfriends in real life and so would katara because jet

katara has a bad experience with bad boy sword weilders (jet) but I guess you could see it as the start of her type idk

they are both the moms of the Gaang. sokka is the fun dad.

there is a parallel between their families, with the leader of their people dad, mom who left the picture when they were young, an older brother who is not a prodigy at/can’ t bend their respective element so they become proficient at swords instead, prodigy at bending younger sister with a violent streak. this is why I see zutara as potentially a really close friendship, almost siblings, but not a romance because to me katara is a little too like azula for comfort...

tbh I think a lot of folk shipped it because ooh fire boy and water girl (not the game) that’ s perfect, and bam army of zutarians

overall, kind of weird but ok and good grounds for humour so I give it a 4

Jetkara (bad ship name, why would you like this, minus points)

Jet is bad. yes Katara really liked him, yes he was definitely her first kiss and she would definitely consider him her first boyfriend but they would not define it because it’s easier to manipulate someone when it’s unclear what your relationship is and Jet is bad, with his weird fricking eyebrows and not even real swords those hook swords

Not wasting my time, 2

Jinko (cool name, reminds me of Hong Jinkyung, plus points)

short but so sweet. not the first thing people remember from watching the tales of ba sing se (brb going to rewatch and cry) but really cute, so here’s a running commentary

his first thought was she knew they were fire nation rather than a pretty girl sat in a teashop giving him looks because she had a crush omg

that honest surprise when his uncle suggested she liked her and then she walked up and asked him on a date, adorable

anyone who looked at that god-awful hairstyle and still thought he looked cute has it bad also aww that hair ruffle and the little grab onto his arm

he’s pushing his food around and she’s trying out ice breaker questions and recieving one word responses he has no idea what he’s doing

“she is not my GIRLFRIEND” he’s not over Mai, clearly but he still is trying his best to be a good date even if he’s terrible at making conversation

anyone who sat through that date and the bad lying and the stilted conversation and still thought he was cute has it bad

he is So Bad At Lying he just told the truth very vaguely and then bam travelling circus

jin so knows the two are fire nation, the whole date she just politely ignores the clear lies and doesn’t react to the obvious firebending, what an icon we love jin

honestly I was really expecting the show to reveal that jin knew he was a firebender if not from the start then from the lights but eh I guess she can keep a secret, good for her

HE KISSED HER BACK BEFORE REALISING A RELATIONSHIP COULD NEVER GO WELL AND HE MAY HAVE ANGSTILY STORMED OFF BUT HE ADMITTED IT WAS A NICE TIME TO HIS UNCLE

that being said I can’t see anything more happening but this date but omg imagine fire lord zuko coming back to visit and they become friends I-

overwhelming support for pre-date jin flirting to an oblivious zuko and the date Jinko, 8

Maiko (name would be a good name for a cat idk why)

childhood sweethearts before the banishment i think

she crushed because he saved her hair from getting burnt by tackling her into a fountain? adorable

I love mai she’s so funny but I think not the best match for zuko? he has a lot of trauma to get over and she doesn’t seem like the let all your feelings out and let’s talk about it until you feel better kind of person. it was deeply ingrained in her to keep all of her feelings and emotions strongly hidden because she got what she wanted from her politician parents so long as she was quiet, well-mannered, and perfectly behaved according to avatar wiki so I get why she’s that way, until I was 11 I was that way too all the time, I understand freezing your face so you don’t look afraid or upset or angry and risk annoying adults, but I don’t think that that would fit zuko with his social ineptness

they literally broke up twice but are just assumed back together? she just surprised him and said they were back together and I think he forgot she existed

the deadpan firelady and the fire lord would be hilarious together tho she got the ruthlessness he lacks

post coronation I can see it happening, 6 but under Kataang

Sukka (terrible name lmao)

the cutest, sokka very excitedly says “Suki!! :DDD” every time he sees her

she didn’t give him the time of day until HE changed, incredible

just the best canon ship, the two nonbenders in the Gaang but very clearly shown to be important key members.

suki is sneaky and badass, rivalling zuko for position on the team as the sneaky badass one (they tie and bond over being sneaky and badass)

sokka is a great dad, he is the dad of the Gaang and he clearly loves suki and suki loves him back

sokka ships are ELITE, 9

Taang (a delicious orange drink mix that reminds me of home, nostalgia)

foreshadowing from the swamp where someone aang loved in the future really made me think taang was endgame yk

opposite elements ideology that I guess is what zutarians like also leaves everyone in the gang dating a Gaang member if zutara happens

actually the same age but not much else going for it

best friends, 4 but under Zutara

Tokka (great name of a small pet fight me)

sokka ships are elite, childhood crush turned adult strong friendship

I really like seeing the rough, tough, greatest earthbender in the world have a crush, adorable

sokka is a great friend and his and toph’s canon relationship is so sweet, I wouldn’t change it

toph was fully going to give sokka a kiss on the cheek for saving her life i’m melting

age difference is too weird for a romance he’s like 16 or 17 by the end I think and she’s 12

best friends, 10 as a relationship in the show, 2, but in their 20s after the show... 4 but under Taang

Toko (very forgettable name but both characters have 4 letters so I guess it’s hard to come up with something memorable but every time I read it as Toph because same shape ish so minus points for being annoying)

even weirder age gap than Tokka

not many moments that could be considered romantic?

toph first accepted zuko despite him burning her feet, how she sees, which was big and they resolved problems between them quickly

toph clinging to his arm and asking for a life changing field trip caused him to blush, but I see that as him being like oh someone wants to spend time with me?? she’s hugging me??? what is this

convenient ship for kataangers because the Gaang could be paired off as Kataang, Sukka, Toko

her crush on sokka seemed to go away or calm down when he showed up and she punched him and teased him a lot, her way of bonding

similar strict teaching styles and bonding over secret identities as Blue Spirit and Blind Bandit and parental issues and being the children of important families who made them run away to enjoy not having anything to do with politics and being nobility with impaired vision who have never stepped into a kitchen in their lives and being used to servants and then being on the run

I really see them as siblings with her helping him relax from his duties as fire lord because you already know this boy’s sense of honour is going to make him work tirelessly to fix the world and him helping her relax from the whole i’m not a fragile, weak little blind girl, i’m the greatest earthbender in the world shtick and reminding her she can be both a blind 12 year old girl and the most powerful earthbender in the world, she can accept help without being weak or lesser than anyone, people want to help because they care not that they pity you

best friends 10, relationship in show 1, after show 3

Ty Lokka (I don’t like this name looks like a place but can think of nothing better)

yeah I guess ty lee’s obvious flirting is grounds for a ship but in every interaction he’s involved with someone else and doesn’t seem to like her as a person

do they even interact while on the same side?

friendly aquaintances at best, don’ t understand, 2 but above Jetkara

Tyzula (don’t like this name, like a mineral water?)

canon I don’t care it is canonically a possessive relationship

azula’s only genuine apology goes to ty lee after hurting her feelings

Azula clearly loves ty lee, her betrayal sends her mad

after a lot of therapy for azula and apologies, maybe a healthy relationship could form after the show, 8 above Jinko

Yukka (looks like a childish insult, surely someone could have thought of a better name)

Sokka’s love for Yue stays with him for the rest of his life, she was the first person to die in front of him and he sees the moon as her facing the earth

love this forbidden lovers content, sokka ships stay elite

Sokka and Yue spend as much time together as possible with secret midnight dates flirting (“you wanna do an...activity together?”) Sokka’s reaction to Yue’s engagement shows that he wants to have a serious relationship with her, and also he thinks Hahn is a bad person for Yue, which he is.

Yue dying devastated him and he never falls out of love with Yue. her last words “[she] will always be with him” are true. swamp visions show Yue as one of the most important people in his life like a season or so after he last saw her. he wouldn’t kiss suki in front of the moon, and cries when Yue appears on stage, ignoring Suki. he talks about the moon as if it is directly Princess Yue in that cactus juice scene.

she died in his arms oh my god don’t look i crying, he feels personally responsible and guilty

yue was great even though she was the indigenous or black girl with light hair and eyes character and I wish she could have helped aang in the spirit world

despite her arranged engagement she clearly really likes sokka even though she knows nothing can happen, 9

Kataang, Zutara, Jetkara, Jinko, Maiko, Sukka, Taang, Tokka, Toko, Ty Lokka, Tyzula, Yukka

#kataang #zutara #jinko #maiko #sukka #taang #toko #tokka #tyzula #yukka #my ramblings

76 notes · View notes

doof-doofblog · 3 years

Text

"He's My Brother?!"

Tuesday 16th March 2021

Part One

Hello again everyone, hope you're all doing well! I wanted to share some personal news with you, I received my first Covid-19 vaccine yesterday, we're slowly on the path on getting things back to some form of normality! Who knows, maybe soon EastEnders might be able to go back to its original 30 minutes, even though I'm enjoying it and don't care how long the episodes are, it'll just feel normal, right? Anyway, I've seen a few spoilers regarding these two episodes, I'm really intrigued to write about these episodes. Tuesday aired two episodes of EastEnders so I'll be doing two posts to review each one.

Monday's episode ended on such a cliff-hanger, it's only right that I start this blog with mentioning Lucas and Chelsea first. The episode opened right there Monday left off, Chelsea and Lucas are at the airport preparing to go to Ibiza with suitcases full of drugs. Chelsea's suitcase is currently being checked, she's stood in absolute panic about what the security guard is going to find. Only when he reveals a bottle being over the correct amount she's allowed to take, I got really confused! I was completely and utterly convinced that Lucas had given Chelsea the drugs as a way of teaching her a lesson, and not in a bad way but in a cruel-to-be-kind kind of way. But as soon as Lucas begins to walk through with his suitcase, Chelsea hears commotion from behind and Lucas is surrounded by armed guards. The interesting thing is, Lucas doesn't hesitate, calmly and willingly, he drops the suitcase, opens it up to reveal the amount of drugs stored inside it, Chelsea watches on in dismay as her Father basically gives up on the whole job. Lucas looked over at his daughter, but the look on his face, I couldn't quite tell what he was doing? Was he doing this to save his daughter?

Frantically, Chelsea later arrives home, informing her Mum that Lucas has been arrested and he plain and simply gave up the drugs as if he'd planned it. Denise is visibly shook to hear but she's more relieved to know that Chelsea is safe and no harm has come to her, as far as she's concerned, Lucas can look after himself, whereas Chelsea needs her family around her. However, Chelsea seems to think that Lucas has given up the job on purpose, and now because the job hasn't gone through, Chelsea and the rest of the family could be in danger.

Returning to the airport, Lucas has been taken to side room, there he is begging the officer to allow him one phone call. At first the officer seems to think he's part of a drug gang and is wanting a call to let his comrades know about his arrest, however when Lucas mentions that it's to do with his family and that they could be in danger, it looks as if the police officer suspects he could be telling the truth and allows the phone call. As Denise and Chelsea are at home, Jack is there trying to keep them calm and discuss what actions could be taken due to Lucas's arrest, but of course his main concern is to keep Denise and Chelsea safe, if Caleb finds out the job hasn't been done, he knows that the Fox family could be in huge danger, he instructs them to not go on their phones and don't answer any calls or answer the door to anyone but himself. It's then that he receives a phone call from Lucas, pleading to for his help. What on Earth could Lucas be asking of Jack? Will Lucas be okay? (Of course some of you may have already seen the second episode, but as I haven't, I'm going to be speculating, please no spoilers, thank you!)

The next thing I want to mention is Bailey and Bernadette. The sisters are still deeply saddened by Bronson's passing, but as they sit in the park with Mitch, they continue to discuss Bronson's personality and his favourite foods. Always the best way to remember a happy doggo! Unfortunately, as the family reminisce about their beloved pup, Mitch has devastating when he hears a job opportunity had fell through, which he was hoping would keep him going until the winter. Are the Taylor family falling on hard times? Are they really struggling for money so much right now?

Bailey however tries to reassure her Dad, informing him that he has to keep positive as something will come up eventually, but she also drops the bombshell that he wouldn't have to pray for Astronomy Camp for her as she didn't win her competition, both Bernie and Mitch voice their disappointment for Bailey as she begins to feel sorry for herself. But suddenly a little surprise makes the young girl begin to smile, a little dog approaches her as she holds food in her hand, it appears to not be wearing a collar and no one is around to claim the dog, must be a stray. Happily Bailey interacts with dog and smiles to her Dad that it's a sign from Bronson.

Seeing the little pup bring a smile back onto his daughter's face, he later approaches Karen about the possibility of keeping the new found dog. I also just want to mention how adorable the new dog is, I know not many dog last for long on the Square, but it would be nice for them to fill the void of Bronson. I don't think EastEnders have ever had a better dog since Wellard. They need a pet who's going to become memorable, and with one as adorable as this new pup, it could really work. Karen unfortunately is against the idea of getting a new dog, mainly because they can't afford it. But something tells me that maybe she's just not ready to get over Bronson, maybe? I feel if you've been able to afford a dog before, there's no reason why you can't get another one after? Right?! Mitch really wants to cheer his daughter up, I'm hoping Mitch will go and find the new dog, adopt him and bring him in to their family.

The next thing I have to mention is Ash and Suki, after finding her daughter at home alone with Peter, Suki takes it upon herself to confront Ash about the fact that she's been suspended from work, of course she has no idea why, but we all know it's because of Peter begging her to give him pain medication whilst off duty. As the ladies begin to argue, Ash tries to reassure her Mum that everything will be fine when she attends the hearing, she'll be able to explain and she'll get her job back. But Suki begins to fret, considering how much she cares for her family, and more so their reputation, I reckon?

Peter takes it upon himself to interrupt, informing Suki that Ash wouldn't have been suspended if it wasn't for him, this makes Suki realise that it's all Peter's fault, but the devastating blow is that her daughter could potentially lose her job because of a boy! Later on, as things begin to cool off, Suki is alone at the family business as Ash visits her, without Peter in tow. She begs her Mum to not worry and let things slide as she and Peter have a plan of way of getting her job back, but Suki seems to really struggle as the realisation sinks in, she voices that the reason she's so upset is that was she so proud of her daughter for getting so far with her career, for the job role she took on in life, how she has become successful in life, and now she fears that because of Peter, everything could be taken away from her! For me, I found it interesting to see this side of Suki, we know she loves the idea of power and success, but to actually hear that she's proud of one of her children, seems that maybe she really just wants the best for her family.

Okay, now the main event! After hearing the news that Gavin has passed away, Kathy and Sharon are discussing whether to attend the memorial. Of course, Sharon isn't interested in sharing memories of her biological Father, needless to say she doesn't have any fond memories of him, Gavin did have a bad reputation after all. Kathy however, considering as she was married to him once - I'm assuming, we know for sure she loved him and/or dated him, is considering going, whether Sharon joins her or not. As far as Sharon is concerned he can "Rot in hell!"

However, after a few wise words from Callum about Dad's in general, regardless whether they were pigs or not, it's always best to be the bigger person, Sharon then decides to tag along with Kathy and attend the memorial. As the arrive Kathy realises that she recognises a few faces, where of course Sharon knows nobody. Sally, Gavin's sister approaches them and thanks Kathy for coming, regardless of the awful things Gavin did, she makes the valid point that she did love him once.

As they look around the room, there is one bloke in particular who seems to be downing a lot more alcohol than others, he seems to be banging to people and knocking into the bar, eventually this man decides to make a speech, but it's not one of the speeches you'd expect. But however, to Sharon's interest, he seems to be saying things which she would actually agree with. Gavin was the scum of all scumbags. This speech however doesn't sit well with other family members and the young man dashes over chairs and tables to escape the angry mob!

As Kathy and Sharon make their exit, they watch as everyone gathers in the parking lot. However Sharon seems to have somehow managed to get her hands on Gavin's urn, without a second thought she simply dumps it into a litter bin, much to Kathy's shock. Looking for the drunken, suspicious man who rudely corrupted the memorial, both Kathy and Sharon seem to notice that their car has been left un-open. Realising that the young man could be hiding in their car, they make a subtle entrance and sit in the front seats. This scene looked like something out of a comedy, the young man appears between them in the backseat, shushing them not to give away his hiding place. Unfortunately, for the young man, the angry mob begin taking their anger out on his sports car - I did find this pretty comical as Kathy and Sharon both describing the damage being made to his car as he hides on the backseat. After the angry mob seem to finish off the last of their damage and head back into the building, Kathy asks the young man his connection with Gavin, how did he know him? Why was he at the memorial? Were they business partners or something?

But then as he walks away, he drops the big bombshell, introducing himself as Zack and that Gavin was in fact his Dad! As he walks away to his damaged car, both Kathy and Sharon look at each other in their shock as they come to realise Sharon has a brother she never knew existed!

Now I just want to say, most of us recall what happened when Sharon found out about another long-lost brother, however, I have to make the valid point that Dennis was in fact an adoptive brother. Den Watts was her adoptive father, so technically Sharon and Dennis were never really blood related, which I guess is why their romance can be looked to one side, however, Zack would be Sharon's Half-Brother! People might think history will be repeating itself if Zack was to become Sharon's new love interest, but I'd hope that EastEnders wouldn't go down the route of incest. It would be interesting though to see how Sharon will come to terms with knowing about her secret brother, will she want to build a relationship with him? Will he want to know her? Could they bond knowing that they've both had such a horrid man for a Father? Who knows?

I'm really looking forward to seeing the second episode following this one, I will be posting about it tomorrow, but in the mean time please no spoilers for me. I'll look forward to blogging about it tomorrow! Thank you again for reading! Love you all xXx

#eastenders #chelseafox #lucasjohnson #denisefox #jackbranning #mitchbaker #baileybaker #bernadettetaylor #karentaylor #ashpanesar #sukipanesar #peterbeale #kathybeale #sharonwatts #callumhighway #gavinsullivan #zackhudson #soapblog #soapfan

4 notes · View notes

dhwty-writes · 4 years

Text

Zutara Week Day 5: Hesitancy

Alright, so this got long. Like 7k words long. I have written 8.5k words today alone, the most I think I’ve ever written in one day in my life. This is pretty much unedited so I apologise for any mistakes.

Have fun and don’t forget to check out the other parts first!

Read on AO3

Morning came and Katara left and suddenly Zuko was feeling very unsure about this whole endeavour. It hadn't even crossed his mind to invite her back home with him. No, that wasn't quite right. It had crossed his mind. But he'd never expected to actually follow that thought up. He'd even less expected her to agree.

But the alcohol had probably loosened both of their tongues and now he was pacing his deck. Katara had left to gather her things and say her goodbyes to the townspeople. He was left to waiting alone. Well, not exactly alone. There were Toph and Aang joking on the quay and Sokka and Suki on the vessel next to his preparing to leave as well. They were due to leave in about five minutes if they wanted to catch the morning tide. Katara knew that. Katara had to know that. She was a waterbender for Agni's sake.

Still, she hadn't shown up.

Had she changed her mind? Zuko wasn't sure. What if she had? What if she didn't want to go to the capital with him after all? What if he had offended her somehow? Why was he even so nervous-?

"For fuck's sake, Sparky, will you please stop?" Toph cursed loudly. "I can hear your fucking heart beating in your fucking chest. She's not going to let your idiotic ass leave all on his own!"

"Thanks, Toph," he shouted back, "that's really uplifting."

Aang snorted and said something that made Toph roll her eyes but still he stopped pacing. Worrying his crew and upsetting his friends wasn't exactly helping.

"I'm here!" a breathless cry rang through the air and Katara sprinted onto the harbour. She had a bag slung over her shoulder and another one on her hip. Besides that, she was wearing the same clothes she had the first time they had seen each other again. "I'm sorry. I would have come sooner but there was a very teary goodbye."

Toph shrugged. "That's alright with me, that means we can at least cut this short. Though our dear Sifu Hotman nearly went into cardiac arrest."

Katara shot him a quick glance before hugging Toph and Aang. "Take care, both of you. Don't mess up what I did here. Toph, if I hear anything about illegal betting rings without me, I'll kick your butt."

"You don't get to make any demands," the earthbender countered, "you started a rebellion without even telling me!"

"Right," she grinned. "I'll come and get you next time."

"There won't be any rebellions," Zuko shouted just as Aang said: "No, you won't!"

The two women laughed and bumped fists, Katara winking even though Toph couldn't see it. Zuko sighed. Why was he even trying?

"Come to Caldera when you're done," Katara said at last and quickly crossed over to the ship.

Next to them Sokka and Suki were already casting off. "See you in a few months, sis," Sokka called and waved. "If you can be bothered to come home again sometime!"

Katara drenched him in water with a flick of your wrist. "Good luck, Suki," she called and the warrior just snickered and kissed the dripping Sokka on the cheek.

"Safe journey!" she called and then they were out of shouting range.

Beside Zuko his captain stepped up and coughed meekly. "Um... your majesty? We, uh- we might have missed the tide."

"Oh," Katara spun and he could see how a distracted look passed over her face when she felt for the water around her. "Right, sorry. Aang, a little help?"

The Avatar thrust his staff into Toph's hands and Katara let her bags drop on the floor dropping into a bending stance. They moved in perfect synchrony and the boat rocked unsteadily for a moment before they were gently pushed out of the harbour.

Katara dusted her hands of. "That should do it," she said and picked up her bags again. "Well, aren't you going to show me to my room, your majesty? Or do you just expect me to sleep on the floor?"

"Um-" he said, still stunned. "Sure. Come with me."

~*~

The knock on his doorframe made him jump and earned him a quiet snicker of Katara. "I've been told we're arriving later today," she said and stepped into his room without waiting for an answer.

"So we are," he admitted and turned around to her. He was surprised to say the least to see her wearing the simple garb of one of his guards that hugged her figure tightly. "Um- I- What are you wearing?" he stammered.

"Oh, that?" She pulled at the seam of her tunic. "I had to get rid of most of my clothes after the fire. Ni gave me that and it fits, so-" She smirked. "Aren't you going to tell me that I look pretty?"

He still hadn't quite processed what was happening. "I- um- what?" He blinked confused.

"Where are your manners, Fire Lord? I was led to believe that nobles are supposed to compliment fair ladies when they are dressed in new robes. So?"

"You look pretty in red," he managed without stumbling over his words. That wasn't even a lie. Katara looked very pretty in red. One might even say beautiful, stunning, like watching the sun set-

"Why, thank you," she answered and winked. Now he could tell at least that she was teasing. "You look pretty in red, too. Especially when it's, you know-" She gesticulated in the general direction of his face, undoubtedly referencing the violent blush on his cheeks.

He cleared his throat and looked away as if that would hide the blush.

"So," she leant against the doorframe and crossed her arms and fuck, he had known that it hadn't been a good idea to invite her to his home. At this rate he was going to perish before even stepping into his palace again. "What should I expect when the Fire Lord returns triumphant from such a dangerous mission?"

He groaned and let his head fall back. "Who told you?"

She chuckled. "Everyone did. Your whole crew believes that the only reason why you stay holed up in caldera all the time is because you don't want to go through the mortifying ordeal of being paraded around the town when you return."

Well... they weren't wrong. However, there was no reason to point it out like that. "It's embarrassing," he grumbled.

"Hm," she hummed and stepped closer, sitting down next to him on the floor. "Well, I've got good news for you. This time, you don't have to go through it alone." She bumped her shoulder against his. "If the protocol allows, that is."

He looked at her incredulously. "You don't have to do that."

She smiled brightly. Bright as the sun, bright as the moon. "But I want to. That's what friends do, isn't it? Helping each other out? You helped me with my fight, now I help you with yours."

"Right," he whispered. Friends. And nothing more. He was glad that Katara couldn't feel his heartbeat like Toph. Or rather he hoped she couldn't. She was a bloodbender after all.

"So," she started again, "what do I have to do?"

"You don't happen to have brought any kind of official Water Tribe regalia?"

She laughed. "No, I don't. And even if I did, there's no way you'd get me to wear them here. I love, Zuko, but there are limits."

"Didn't think-" He faltered, taking in the mortified look on Katara's face as they both realised what she'd just said.

"Well, anyways!" she quickly continued. "Beside meeting an early grave because of this agonising heat, what can I do?"

"Put on your cleanest shirt and sit next to me?" he tried again.

Katara gasped. "How dare you assume any of my shirts are clean?" She put a hand on her chest dramatically. "I am a rebel, after all. I do have a rather unstained dress, though." She got to her feet. "See you when we get there."

Zuko sighed as the door fell shut behind her. He was in trouble.

Katara looked, simply put, stunning. Her hair was flowing freely down her back safe for the topknot that was adorned with a tiny flame. The tips of her curls were still damp with water and sweat alike but Zuko found he couldn't care less. No matter how sweaty Katara was, she would still be beautiful. The dress was surprisingly elegant, light blue silk with a moon embroidered on the back and the seams adorned with blue and violet beads.

"Where on earth did you hide that?" he murmured as he stepped up beside her.

She flashed him a bright smile. "Ni gave it to me as farewell gift. She and her sister have been working on it pretty much since I arrived." She twirled around. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

He nodded, not quite trusting his voice. Together they stood and waited for the ship to dock in the harbour where masses of people were waiting and cheering already.

"This isn't so bad," she whispered.

"They're not cheering for me," he answered. At Katara's surprised expression he added: "Word travels fast. You have quite the reputation here since you saved them from the fate of having Azula as Fire Lord." The pathway was lowered and he stepped forward. "And it seems like you are adamant to grow it." Stunned she stared at the cheering people. "Are you coming?" he asked and extended his hand.

It took a moment before she nodded and hastily stepped forward, accepting his hand when she stepped onto the quay. There was a palanquin waiting for them and she took his hand again when he helped her inside. When they were both kneeling as comfortable as they could the procession started.

"I'm sparing you the-" Zuko began but as he looked over to Katara he halted. While he had to resist the urge to hunch his shoulders and wanted to draw the curtains shut, she was smiling and waving and even catching a small bouquet and tucking a flower behind her ear. 'She's enjoying this,' he realised to his surprise.

She turned to him. "What did you say?"

"I-" he frowned. "I wanted to say that I'm sparing you the announcement. But now I fear you actually might have liked it."

Her face lit up. "What announcement?"

He winced. "Normally there is a big presentation of the Fire Lord where his glorious accomplishments are relayed to the people. It's a wartime tradition and I did my best to abolish it. But there are some things I still have to suffer through."

"Like your pointy collars and shoes?" she asked and tugged at his robes.

"Just like them." He quirked an eyebrow. "Did you know that it is a crime to touch the Fire Lord?"

She gasped in fake shock. "Oh no! Did I commit treason again? Are you going to throw me in jail?"

"I might just...," he grumbled.

She sighed and flicked her wrist to freeze the sweat on her brow. "Alas, woe is me. How may I ever atone for my crimes?"

"Freeze my sweat, too, and I'll issue a pardon."

Katara chuckled and flicked her wrist again. Soon after he felt the cool relief on his brow and sighed contently closing his eyes. When he opened them again, he saw Katara waving again.

"Why isn't there an announcement today?" she asked when she leaned back again.

Zuko quickly averted his gaze and shuffled uncomfortably. "I might have lied a bit about your delicate condition and the heat," he admitted.

Her jaw dropped open. "You wouldn't."

He looked up and shot her a goofy smile. "I'm sorry?"

"Oh!" she exclaimed and now there was no mocking in her offence, "oh, you- You're lucky we're in public and want to spare your people the sight of their Fire Lord getting his butt kicked!"

He raised his hands. "Feel free to do so once we're behind the palace walls. I guess I deserve it."

"Delicate condition, hah! The joke of the century!" She scowled. "What do you even have against all of this?"

"It's embarrassing," he said.

"It's the best part of being a hero! The people love you! That's why you do good, don't you? For them!"

Zuko had to admit that she had a point but before he could think of an appropriate answer, the palace gates appeared and opened and closed for them.

As soon as the palanquin was lowered to the ground, Katara leaped out of it. "Oh, thank the spirits!" she sighed. "My legs were about to fall off."

Zuko was much slower in following her. He was quite used to the strenuous task of kneeling for hours on end so he didn't mind anymore.

Katara spun in a circle taking her surroundings in. "Not much has changed," she asserted and Zuko guessed that she had to be right. "What happens now?"

"I, um- I show you to your room," he answered hesitantly.

"Well? What are we waiting for?"

"I, er-" He scratched the back of his neck. "I haven't figured out what room to give you, yet."

"Oh." Her face fell. "Right."

During all of her previous visits she had been accompanied by Aang, so both of them had just stayed in the spacious suite that was reserved for the Avatar. Now, however, things became a bit more difficult. He couldn't very well put her with the Fire Nation nobles or the foreign dignitaries as she was neither. And unfortunately there was no I-brought-a-stunningly-beautiful-woman-who-is-my-long-time-friend-and-enemy-with-me-and-also-the-ex-girlfriend-of-the-avatar-and-my-best-friend's-sister-and-don't-know-what-to-do-about-it-wing. At least none that he was aware of.

"Why doesn't Lady Katara stay in the royal wing?" a familiar voice croaked. "There is room enough, nephew."

"Uncle Iroh!" Katara whirled around to hug the old man.

"It is good to see you. You have become quite the beautiful woman."

She blushed profoundly and Zuko stepped forward to spare her and answer: "I thought you were in Ba Sing Se, uncle."

"I was!" He beamed. "But then I heard what you two were doing and simply had to come here. You are doing good, Lady Katara. And you, too, Zuko."

"Thank you, uncle," she answered.

"Now, nephew, why don't you show the lady to her room? I'll take care of the rest."

~*~

They had arrived not even a fortnight ago and there were rumours everywhere concerned with the exact nature of his relationship with the Avatar's former girlfriend. 'Listen to the palace gossip,' Katara had told him. He couldn't avoid it if he tried. And he tried.

And yet, every time he heard a new rumour he wondered if Katara was listening, too. Maybe she did.

Maybe that was why she was avoiding him.

No, avoiding wasn't really the right word. It wasn't like she outright hid from him, just- Zuko had been gone for a long time and now his calendar was stuffed. He rose and set with the summer sun, his days far longer than could be healthy and he was glad when he could squeeze in enough time to eat and sleep. And so, he didn't see Katara a lot.

So, he guessed, it had to seem more like he was avoiding her. Which he wasn't. There was just nothing he could do about it.

"There you are," Katara's voice sounded softly from behind him. "You are a difficult man to find, Fire Lord Zuko."

"There I am." She stepped beside him, resting her arms on the railing of the balcony he had found to enjoy some precious moments of peace. "Just ask my advisers. They know my current locations better than I do most of the time."

She sighed. "I tried. It's always the same answer: 'The Fire Lord's busy. He has no time for visitors.'" He frowned. He needed to have some words with them. "What are you so busy with all the time?"

"Dumb things, mostly," he answered exasperated.

"Anything I can do to help?" her voice sounded genuinely concerned and the sorrow in her eyes was plain.

"No, unfortunately not," he answered. 'Not like this,' his mind unhelpfully supplied, 'as Fire Lady however...' He quickly pushed the though to the back of his mind.

There were rumours everywhere concerned with the exact nature of his relationship with the Avatar's former girlfriend. And while they were certainly not true, they were not so far off when Zuko's feelings were concerned.

"I'm sorry," he said, "this was probably not how you imagined your stay here to go."

"It wasn't how I hoped my stay here to go," she corrected him, "it is, however, how I expected my stay here to go." She smiled. "This is not my first visit here. I know what it's like."

"Yeah, but the last time you were here with- you were not alone."

She huffed. "I know that Aang was with me the last time. Or Sokka. Or Toph. Or Suki. But it's alright, really Zuko. I quite like being able to relax for a bit. I get to train a lot and talk with Uncle Iroh and why haven't you told me there are waterbending scrolls from the south in your library?"

He blinked dumbstruck. "I didn't know."

"Well, anyway. There are a lot of things I can do here. And if I get really bored, I can always go look for a hospital and go heal."

'She could always leave,' he told himself. Quickly he pushed that unpleasant thought away, too and was simply glad that she hadn't said so himself.

"Of course, I'd like to spend more time with you. But I understand if you can't."

"No!" he said quickly. "We absolutely can! We-" He hesitated, searching for a quick solution.

"I could come here," Katara said. "At sundown. Then you'd know where to find me."

He breathed in relief and nodded. Yes, that was a good idea. "There's also... a garden," he said timidly. "You can access it from your room."

"I know," she answered with a bright smile. "It's beautiful. I love the turtleduck pond."

He nodded. "Meet me there?"

Katara smiled. "I will." She pressed his hand quickly. "Get some sleep, Zuko. You need it."

There was nothing he could say against that. So, he bid her goodnight and made his way back to his room. Only when the door shut behind him, he remembered that he hadn't asked her about the rumours.

~*~

Katara had meant what she'd told Zuko. She was just fine with how things were since she had arrived in Caldera. And fine was alright. Fine was good.

She'd also be happy to spend more time with him. More than happy, really. She'd almost be inclined to use the word 'overjoyed'.

And it was getting better. They had met every night in the small private garden in the royal wing and talked and joked and just spent time together. That was the best part of her day.

It only fanned the rumours of course. She had expected that. And it was fine by her. She didn't mind what people said behind her back, no matter how untrue it was. She did mind, however, how it made her heart flutter every time with the prospect of it.

Katara sighed. In moments like these she really envied Zuko for his obliviousness and his outrageous talent to not hear a single whisper spoken in his palace. She had no idea how he did that. She had no interest on filling him in, either.

Regardless, she had learnt to look forward to their late-night meetings. It really was the best part of her day. And just now the best part of her day was threatened to be ruined.

The sun had set over an hour ago and there was still no sign of Zuko. That hadn't happened before and if she was honest, Katara was just a bit worried.

Luckily for Zuko, she was no-one to just sit idly by. So, she got up and went back inside, first to her own room that laid deserted, then to Zuko's.

"Has the Fire Lord turned in for the night?" she asked the guards in front of the doors.

They quietly shook their heads.

"And where would I go about finding him in such a case?"

"His office, milady," one of them offered. "You know the way?"

"I do, thank you very much." She waved and turned, setting out on the journey one had to brave to find the Fire Lord's office in the veritable maze of a palace.

In the beginning, when it had been just Zuko and her after Sozin's comet she had barricaded herself and Zuko into the kitchen for fear of getting lost in the palace - and for fear for his life when she left his side, threatened by a lightning wound and Ozai loyalists alike. The fortnight until Aang had arrived in the palace with backup had been the most gruelling two weeks of her life. She hoped she'd never have to go through something like that again.

With her repeated visits, however, she had slowly learned her way around the palace and now she had almost no difficulties navigating the hundreds of corridors anymore. Well, at least not for the most important ones.

"Zuko?" she asked tentatively and knocked on the door.

No answer.

"Zuko, are you in there?" she tried again.

She waited a few moments before deciding to just go inside. Quietly she pushed the door open and slipped inside. "Zuk- oh!" The Fire Lord was in fact in his office, sitting behind his desk. His head was cushioned on his arms and there was a fine thread of drool dropping from his mouth.

She tiptoed over to him, careful not to disturb his slumber. 'He looks so peaceful,' she realised with surprise, 'so relaxed.' She found herself wondering when she had last seen him this at ease. To her dismay she discovered that she knew no answer to that question.

"Wake up, sleepyhead," she murmured as she pushed a stray strand from his forehead. "Your back will thank you for not sleeping here..."

"Wha-" he jerked awake and quickly scanned his surroundings. It took a few moments for him to blink the sleep out of his eyes and focus his gaze on her. "Katara? What are you-?"

"Shhh...," she made and rubbed his back like she often did with her younger patients. "I was worried about you. So, I came looking for you." She took his hand and helped him to his feet. "Come on, I'll bring you to bed."

She slung his arm around her shoulders and half-lead, half-carried him back to his quarters while he sleepily stumbled along. His guards sprung into alert as soon as she came into view but she just raised a finger to her lips and hauled Zuko into his room, gently tucking him into bed.

She was just about to leave for her own bed, when he caught her at her wrist. "Thank you, Katara," he mumbled, "what would I be doing without you?"

"Sleep in your office, most likely." She smiled and tried to ignore the soft tug on her arm to pull her back down. "Sleep well, Zuko."

With that she peeled his fingers away from her wrist and slipped out of the room, trying to quiet the fluttering in her stomach and soothe the ache of her heart. Katara didn't sleep that night.

~*~

The sun was setting and there was still a mountain of letters on Zuko's desk. He sighed contemplating his options. The sensible thing would be to leave the work for tomorrow and go to meet Katara in his mother's garden. The responsible thing would be to finish up so that it would be less tomorrow. The dumb thing would be to fall asleep in his office again and hope for Katara to come for him once more. As if that was going to happen. 'As if that isn't desperate and weird.'

He scrunched his nose. Who was he even kidding? It wouldn't be less tomorrow so it didn't matter how much he did today anyhow.

So, he started tidying up his desk so he might be able to find anything the next day and was just about to leave his office for good when he heard a knock on his door. "Yes?" he said and sat back down.

A servant slipped inside and bowed deeply. "A letter, your majesty." He pulled a scroll from his sleeve. "From the Avatar."

He sighed. He wasn't really in the mood for Aang's endless ramblings about his many adventures. "Put it with the rest of my correspondence."

"Forgive me, but I believe it is quite urgent."

He ground his teeth and simply extended his hand. "You may go," he said as soon as he'd been handed the letter.

The door shut behind the servant again and her unrolled the scroll, skimming the content. Looking back, he was glad that the servant had insisted on him reading it. It was important.

He stuffed the letter into his sleeve and practically ran to meet Katara.

"You're in a chipper mood," she remarked with a quirked eyebrow when he threw the door to the garden open. "What's the matter?"

"Aang's coming to the palace," he announced jubilantly.

She frowned. "Forgive me for not leaping with joy."

"You should," he insisted and sat down beside her. "He's bringing an economy plan. And a governor."

That got her attention. "Who?" she asked.

His grin grew even wider. "Oh, you know her well."

~*~

Maybe Zuko was in love with Katara.

The realisation hit him like a fist in the gut when Appa landed and Katara raced past him, laughing freely to help Ni down the saddle and swing her in a circle.

She was just so- so- Katara.

"You're here!" Katara crowed. "I could scarcely believe it when Zuko told me!"

The woman laughed. "I can scarcely believe it myself."

"Thank you," she said elatedly as she hugged Aang tightly, "for making this possible."

He just shrugged. "She was the best suited for the job."

They trailed towards him and suddenly Zuko felt very out of place. "Aang," he said with a simple nod.

Before he could even turn to Ni, the woman had fallen to her knees. "Your majesty," she said quietly and bowed down, "it is an honour to be invited here."

"Please rise, Governor Ni. You do not kneel before me." He watched the horror in her eyes as he bowed instead. "You are a brave woman with many talents, as it seems. I am honoured to have you among my governors."

Just as an awkward silence threatened to fall across the conversation, Katara stepped in. "Now that that's all sorted out," she said quickly, "are you ready to hold your own in your very first council meeting?"

Ni laughed nervously. "I don't think I'll ever be."

Katara smiled brightly and placed Ni's hand in the crook of her elbow, gently petting it. "Then you're going to do just fine." She looked at Zuko. "Shall we?"

He made an inviting gesture. "Ladies first."

The walk to the council chamber was spent in companionable silence between him and Aang and conspiratorial whispering between the two women as Katara was filled in on the details of the economic plan.

Then they were there. The four of them stepped through the curtain and the room fell silent. It seemed as if they were the last to arrive, only three seats around the head of the table unoccupied as well as the place for the Fire Lord.

They crossed over to their places in silence and in silence they settled down. It seemed that only then his advisers found their voices again - and all of them in the same moment at that, shouting in confusion.

"Your majesty!" one of them cried. "What are these- these peasants doing here?"

Zuko was very unimpressed as he looked around. "Peasants? Forgive me, milord, but I don't see any." He fixed his stare on his poor minister. "Though I hope that you were not referring to Master Katara and Governor Ni. That would be very unfortunate."

The minister gaped at him, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water.

"Was there anything else you wanted to say, milord?"

He shook his head quickly.

"I didn't think so. Now, Governor Ni. Would you do us the pleasure of presenting your plan to rekindle the economy on your island?"

She got up and bowed gracefully. "With pleasure, your majesty."

What followed was truly a sight to behold: Confidently Governor Ni presented her plea for the funds of former governor Yozin to be released and made available to her and her government with the reason that his fortune had never been his but rather the island's. With the vast financial resources, she proposed to tear down the old factory, replacing it with new smaller workshops specialised in handcrafted wares that would be sold as luxuries. Additionally, she appealed to the central government to expand the harbour in order to further trade with the earth kingdom as well as the right to raise taxes.

That caused a veritable uproar in the ranks of his ministers.

"Your majesty, that is unacceptable!" one of them shouted. "I don't even know where to begin-"

"How about you begin with shutting your mouth," Katara said calmly, "I believe the governor wasn't finished yet."

"I believe we have heard quite enough," he retorted. "Especially from the likes of you."

"Was that meant to insult me?" The waterbender appeared entirely unbothered. Somehow, that was worse. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch your name, Lord -"

"Shaizu," he answered, "though that is not-"

She didn't even let him finish: "Ah, Lord Shaizu, of course. I have heard of you. Though nothing good."

The poor man spluttered, trying to find some words.

"Yes, I am surprised, too," she carried on, "but don't think I haven't done my research in my time here at court. At first, I was appalled to hear the accusations that were laid at your feet - I could scarcely believe that Zuko's mercy would extend to the likes of you. I thought that it was only court gossip, that is so often scandalously wrong - I believe I should know that best of all. But then I dug a little deeper and... well, there is no denying the facts and bank receipts, is there? But let us not dwell on that topic, I do not want the Fire Lord to hear of corruption and partisanship among his most trusted advisers." She fixed Zuko with a pointed look. "Oops. Too late." She turned back to the assembled men. "Any other objections?"

After a moment of stunned silence one of the idiots actually dared to raise his hands.

"Yes?" Katara asked with a sweet smile. "Lord -?"

"Lord Taiso, milady, I-"

She held her hand up and dug into her sleeve. "One moment, please, milord. Spirits, this is terribly embarrassing." She dug through a pile of papers and Zuko had the feeling that the only people who were embarrassed in this meeting were his ministers. Zuko, for what it was worth, was enjoying himself immensely.

"Ah, yes!" She raised a sheet of paper triumphantly. "There it is! I am so sorry, though I hope you can forgive me. As foreigner it can be forgiven if I do not know the names of all the petty lords. Where was I? Right, Lord Taiso. Oh, that's a tricky one. Ozai-loyalist and reported connections to assassins and bounty hunters that have been retreating from the former colonies in the Earth Kingdom. Though I've also heard rumours of child trafficking, Zuko, can you believe that?"

In some incredible feat of willpower, he remained stone-faced. "I cannot. Though I will investigate the matter. Lord Taiso, Lord Shaizu, consider yourself relieved from your duties until further notice."

Lord Taiso hunched his shoulders and was about to get up, Lord Shaizu however did not seem so eager to accept defeat. "This is intolerable, your majesty," he shouted, "you can't let yourself be bossed around by a-"

"By a what?" A tiny shiver ran down Zuko's back as Katara rose to her feet. She barely raised her voice. She didn't need to. "A woman? A foreigner? A peasant? Whatever grievance you may have with me, rest assured that you can say it to my face, I will take no offence."

"You are a witch!" Lord Shaizu accused and that was the moment when he decided not to pity him anymore. "You are a witch who has poisoned the mind of the Fire Lord! And you must go down!" 'He must have taken leave of his senses,' Zuko thought.

"Is that a challenge?" Katara asked calmly.

"I-," he actually seemed to reconsider and for a moment Zuko thought he wasn't completely stupid. Then he said: "Yes! Yes, it is! I hereby challenge you to an Agni Kai!"

Zuko closed his eyes in exasperation. "Oh, for the spirits' sake," he murmured.

Aang simply beamed. "Oh, this is going to be good!"

Katara gave the noble a once over. "Pity," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "But I fear I cannot accept. You see, to issue such a challenge one would require a semblance to honour."

That sent an uproar through the ranks of his advisers. Several jumped to their feet and most of them started shouting and it wasn't until Zuko rose too and roared "Enough!" that the clamour calmed down. "This meeting is over," he ordered. "Thank you all for your attendance, we will reconvene after I had some time to think about the proceedings." He fixed his nobles with a piercing glare. "Leave. Everyone."

They waited until the chamber was empty. Then, Katara turned and bowed gracefully. "You're welcome," she said. "Keep the notes. You will need them." She jerked her chin towards the exit. "Are you coming, Ni?"

Then Zuko and Aang were alone and it was all he could do not to stare after them slack jawed. The Avatar was silent for a bit before he turned to him frowning: "You know...," he began hesitantly, "if you're waiting because of me or something... you shouldn't."

It took a few moments for Zuko's mind to catch up with what he had said. "What?" he said eloquently.

"Katara," Aang clarified. "If you think that there's some kind of problem because we were... a thing, then don't. It's not."

He blinked dumbfounded. "Excuse me?"

"It's obvious that you're in love with her." He smiled brightly at him. "And she likes you, too. I can tell. So, go on. Make your move."

'Oh,' he thought. Of course, he'd noticed. "You sure?"

He clapped his hand on his shoulder. "Just give it a try. Before it's too late."

Zuko gulped. Aang was right. Maybe he was in love with Katara. And even if he wasn't, around her he was the happiest he had been in years. He really should thank her for it.

The only question was how.

~*~

Alright, he was probably in love with Katara.

The realisation had come to him over the course of the past few days spent in a haze between going over the economy plans with Ni, going over the events after his departure with Aang, going over Katara's Notes and summoning Toph post-haste to Caldera for a new screening of his nobles. Somehow, he still managed to squeeze in regular dinners with Aang and Katara as well as their nightly conversations in his mother's garden.

And on top of all of that he somehow had to think of an opportunity to talk with Katara about his feelings and thank her for everything she'd done.

The idea came to him during one of their quiet conversations in the moonlight when Katara mentioned that she would like to meet up with him in the garden while she was still able to see the lights, at least once. A plan formed quickly enough and he went (not just once) over the details with Aang to make sure that everything would be just fine. Eventually, he was sure that Aang would've said yes to anything so long as he stopped pestering him about it.

Eventually, however, he was sure that it was perfect.

He looked at the preparations once more, then he went inside to library where Aang had promised him to keep Katara occupied all day. Finding them wasn't hard. He just had to follow the noise.

"Katara!" he called delightedly.

"Zuko!" a bright smile spread on her face, followed by confusion. "Is everything alright?"

"Of course." His face fell. "Why wouldn't it be?"

She looked out of the window. "It's early."

"Right." That was the whole point. "I got off early." He hadn't. He had cleared his schedule for the whole day. "I- um- I prepared dinner. Do you want to come?"

"Sure," she answered and glanced around. "Aang-" But the Avatar had vanished just on time. When she turned back to him, he just stood with a sheepish smile and his offered hand. For a moment Katara hesitated and he wasn't sure if she was going to decline the offer. But then she took his hand and together they walked back to the royal wing.

"Ready?" he asked when they reached the doors that lead to the garden.

She raised an eyebrow. "If you're asking like this..." He had to have made some kind of stupid laugh for he was rewarded with Katara's unabashed laughter. "Yes, Zuko. I am ready."

He opened the door and lead her out into the garden.

"Oh," she said quietly. "This is nice." Katara turned, taking in the colourful lampions he had lit as well as the lacquered boxes with delicacies the kitchens had brought them. His heart ached only a bit to see her so carefree, nimble fingers trailing over the stones freezing delicate decorations where the droplets from the watering still lingered. The serene picture was shattered when she turned abruptly. "What do you want?" she asked suspiciously.

"What?" he squeaked undignified. "Me? I want nothing!" Besides slapping himself, that was. 'Yeah, real cool, Zuko.'

"Then why are you so-" she gestured widely. "-nice?"

A blush crept up his cheeks. "I, uh- um-" Fuck, he hadn't planned for this. Why hadn't he planned for this?

"Zuko...," hesitantly Katara stepped closer and looked up at him through her lashes. "I this a date?"

He laughed nervously. "No, it isn't," he said maybe a tad too quickly. "It is just me saying thank you to my very best friend in the whole wide world."

She looked surprised. "Really? I don't see Sokka around here."

"My very best female friend in the whole wide world."

"Toph and Suki are coming?" She was smirking now. Oh, the audacity.

"You are a menace," he breathed.

"And you love me for it."

"Yeah, I do."

Then she smiled and it was like the moon had risen in her face. 'Fuck', he thought. He had passed the point of 'probably' a long time ago.

~*~

He had fucked it up. Of course, he had. What had he expected, even? That he prepared some sickly-sweet surprise and they would live happily ever after? Yeah, he didn't think so either.

But he hadn't expected her to leave.

And yet, there they were, standing on the quay, Katara with her two bags and Zuko with- nothing.

"So, you really have to go?"

"Yes," she said and it made Zuko's heart ache. "Suki's pregnant. I should be there to deliver the baby."

They both knew that was a lie. The birth was still months again and Katara had trained dozens of other healers who were just as skilled as she was. They both chose to accept the lie.

"So," she said awkwardly. "This is goodbye, for now."

He nodded, not quite trusting his voice seeing the lump that had formed in his throat.

"What, no last words?" she teased and somehow, that was worse.

No last words? He had so many last words, he didn't even know where to begin. With 'stay', probably. And 'please'. Spirits, he would fall to his knees and beg if that made her stay. He would tell her how much his life had changed since she had marched into it again on that backwater island three months ago. He wanted to tell her how happy he was with her, how relaxed and confident. 'I love you,' he wanted to say. 'Don't leave me here.' He wanted to say it so badly. "I'll miss you," he heard himself say instead.

Katara nodded and he swore he could see some tears gleaming in her eyes. "I'll miss you, too, Zuko." Then he blinked and she was gone, the vessel floating towards the horizon and with it Zuko's chance to tell her the truth.

She went back to her family and Zuko was left with nothing. No, not nothing. He was left with a broken heart.

#zutara #zutara week #zutara week 2020 #day 5: hesitancy #zuko #katara #sokka #suki #aang #toph #uncle iroh #the whole gaang #i'm sorry #only that i'm not #it will get better i swear #my writing

35 notes · View notes