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kaittalkstoomuch · 4 months ago

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IT IS TIME!!! Hello, hi I hope you are doing well! Welcome to Arms Around a Memory. Get a snack, some wine, maybe tissues (you might need them) and enjoy!

Arms Around a Memory: The Prologue

Tw: some violence, blood, Rumlow being absolutely gross, torture, murder, the Winter Soldier (cause ya know, it’s the Winter Soldier)

MAY 2014

ARMS AROUND A MEMORY

The Prologue

MAY 2014

“Bucky…” I gasp as my forbidden lover comes into my room. Forbidden as in he’s training me to become a deadly assassin and it’s supposed to be strictly professional. But, we fell in love anyway, and it was so hard. He feels the closest thing to normal as I can get since I was kidnapped by this hellhole program. Here I am, training to be a Widow, expected to complete my training tomorrow by going through the Graduation Ceremony.

It was never, ever my intention to fall for my superior. I didn’t ask to be taken from my life in California. It’s not everyday your family gets attacked and your house gets blown up all because your father is an Avenger. It’s been over a year since I’ve seen my mother, and my father, as recent as this past mission.

Bucky and I had been sent to extract files from S.H. I.E.L.D. and while going to grab them for HYDRA, there was my father. The absolute shock on his face upon who I’ve become is permanently etched into my brain. See, I’m just like him. I’m incredibly defiant when it comes to rules and I was supposed to “forget” him and my mother, Pepper Potts. Who he saw that night wasn’t his daughter Clare Maria Stark. It was Agent Stark.

“Clare…” I close the door quickly but gently, then run into Bucky’s arms. I put my lips needily and hushed. There is so much going on in my mind. We’d just gotten word that because we did so incredible on the mission, my training is complete and I will need to go through the Graduation Ceremony. Just another thing to take away from me.

Of course being the Winter Soldier, Bucky was told to go. And me, a Black Widow who shouldn’t have an issue with obedience, was chosen to go. Alexander Pierce, the leader of HYDRA, saw Bucky and I training one day with Dreykov, the leader of the Red Room. He thought we were perfect.

I was absolutely terrified. They sedated me when I left and came back, a standard thing they do to Black Widows. I also had to keep my emotions in check, in case we’d run into the Avengers, of course that happened when I saw my father. I never ever thought I’d see him again. It was as if he saw a ghost.

So, with my impressive espionage skills, I’ve satisfied Dreykov and Pierce. That not only I succeeded in training, I’ll be getting the rest of my autonomy taken away completely tomorrow.

“I can’t do this, Bucky.” I cry into his shirt. His chest I’ve grown to love so much. Fuck, and being in his arms. He’s been my rock throughout this past year. Without him, I actually probably would’ve died. I’m as strong as I am because of him.

“I know, doll. I know.” He holds my chin with his metal hand and his regular arm around me. “I won’t let them change me. I won’t. They took me away from my family, my friends. Now they’re taking away another thing. My fucking freedom.” I say as Bucky feels my pain, because HYDRA did the same to him almost seventy years ago. “We just had to do so fucking well on that mission. I killed someone.”

I hyperventilate as Bucky holds me comfortingly. “They turned us both into monsters.” I rasp. He rubs my back as we sit on my bed and I look up at him. “I swear to God, I don't deserve you.” I sniffle as he holds my face in the palms of his hands. “You are not a monster. We are not monsters. You are the reason why I feel human again.”

He kisses my head and I pay attention to how his blue eyes glow. They’re so beautiful and calming. I remember how I started trusting him.

“Hey Stark.” I stop for a moment while we spar. “What?” I ask, semi hostile, keeping my guard up. “You know… I worked with your grandfather.” He throws a fist at me, I catch it smirking getting semi intrigued.

“Did you?” I ask as I throw a fist at him. “Yes… from World War Two.” I raise my hands up in fists. What he doesn’t realize was I already trust him, as I was interested in the World War Two exhibit at the Smithsonian. I didn’t know why I was so intrigued by it, but I’ve always understood that Bucky was Steve’s best friend.

“Okay, and your point?” “My point is, I see where you have your fearlessness from.” I start to move my fist into the pads laid on his hands. Bucky barely moves an inch, until he grabs my hand with his metal hand and pulls me into his body, then wrapping his arm around me.

I for once pay close attention to his eyes and how blue they are. He must’ve been a charmer before HYDRA took him. A looker for sure. I definitely would’ve picked him over Steve, and that’s not to say I don’t think Steve isn’t great, he’s amazing. There’s just something about Bucky.

“You’re a Stark, Clare. You are a resilient fighter. There’s a reason why you’re learning very quickly… that and well….” He smirks which I’ll admit is hot. “You have an amazing trainer.” I can’t help but to laugh. “I do…. So tell me why I’m about to do this.”

Within a split second, my elbow goes into his stomach. I spin out of his grip, almost like a dance. I smirk as he lands on the floor. “Genetics.” He strains and I crack up as I give him a hand. “You know, you should never trust that.” “Why?” I challenge him as he grabs my hand, pulls me down, which then turns into a roll and trip him by swinging my leg beneath him.

He’s back on his ass again. “So, I’m resilient right?” I smirk as he laughs. “And cocky.” Just like my father. He gets back up and we stand close together, feeling our chest heave up and down for breathing.

“What happened to you was incredibly fucked up, I’m so sorry that happened.” I say. “I did some reading in school.” He raises his eyebrows. “Oh did you?” “I’d go to this World War Two exhibit and there would be a photo of you with Steve Rogers.” He seems to have a vague memory of him, as he has a beam of recognition on his face.

“I’d always what happened to you… like, what did HYDRA do to you…” I say quietly looking around and run my finger along his metal arm, he doesn’t flinch. “And now I know… and like my situation, it’s not fair. We both deserve a better life.” Bucky understands what , by the sheen of his eyes. “There’s an exhibit about me?”

I laugh while nodding, looking around to make sure we’re alone. “You were Captain America’s best friend… you didn’t know my grandfather, but he was one of the major figures to fight against HYDRA.” “Right…” “So, I guess what I’m saying is, I trust you.”

Bucky flashes me a smile. “So, now what, soldier?” I ask and he stands dangerously close to me. “Self-defense.” He whispers in my ear before he sweeps me and I land on all fours, ready to fight.

I’m back to reality. Bucky and I hold each other tight in the dark room. His metal arm is warm around me and I’m curled up against his body. It’s absolutely silent. You can hear a pin drop. I rest my head on his chest, memorizing my favorite sound. My mind races thinking about what’s to happen tomorrow. What’s being taken away.

“James.” I breathe. I only say his real name if I feel I am in real danger, and boy was I about to be. “Yes, doll?” I look up at his face and immediately find that safe place in his eyes.

“I’m terrified.” I barely speak. “The mission went so incredibly well… I feel like I betrayed my family and friends. Tomorrow, I will betray my own body.” I feel the tears trickle. “I’m being torn apart to become a machine.” I can’t control the sons that escape. Bucky holds me tightly.

“Hey.” He coos as he strokes my hair. “I don’t want to be a killer.” I look into his eyes and feel my emotions overcome me even more. “Doll…” he starts as he holds my face, then I remember our first moment.

“Okay, perfect form.” Bucky says as I hold out my gun, aimed at the dummy. “Focus on the center. Stand straight and lock eyes.” I can feel him standing behind me. I squeeze the trigger and shoot the dummy right into its shoulder.

“Fuck.” I growl and whip around and face Bucky. “You made me miss!” He tsks. ”No, I didn’t, Stark. You weren’t focused.” “What do you mean I wasn’t focused? I pointed the damn thing right at his chest.” “When you think too much on it, you tend to miss.”

He comes up to me and holds the gun with my hands, his chest against my back. His metal arm is chilled against my hot skin. I try not to shiver to his touch, one I’ve been craving for the longest time.

“So…” He rests his hands on my hips to position me. I can feel his breath tickle the back of my neck. “You don’t need to focus too hard to shoot your target.” I try not to think about it, so hard. The way he holds my waist.

“Just like that.” He whispers as I hold my gun up, which now his hands overlap my own. It’s as if he had taken over my own body, my mind. “Perfect.” He compliments me. I stand firmly as he leans his body more into mine. “That’s it.” POW!

The bullet goes into my target’s chest and I can’t help but to smirk. Good job, doll.” I turn around to face him. The hunger I feel for him, it forms and overrides me. I don’t think about what happens next. All I know is our lips are locked and we’re lost in each other’s touch. We stop for air and he and I gasp. “So my lips were on your mind.” I bite my bottom lip. “They’re deadly.”

“Yes?” I ask. “What if we escaped?” My eyes widened. “Bucky? Are you insane?” I ask him as we both sit up. I look at him with tears in my eyes. “We’ll get caught.” “Not if we’re quiet or fast enough.” His raspy voice echoes in my ears.

“James.. we can’t.” “Yes, we can. Listen.” He holds me by the waist and I lean into his chest. “I’m listening.” “For over fifty years, I’ve had my identity stripped away from me. I was a weapon for HYDRA… I never felt any meaning until I… I met you. You make me feel incredibly human again. The missions we’d go on, the way I hold you. Oh my god, the way you hold me. You make me feel alive, Clare.”

A tear falls down my cheek as I appear to start crying. He puts his metal fingers against my tears and wipes them away. “You are my salvation, Clare. When I first heard your name, it sparked a memory. Of your grandfather. I knew that I needed to help you through this, and get the fuck out. I was actually surprised you trusted me initially.”

I smile in his metallic palm. “Why? Because you’re a brooding soldier and I was the naive billionaire’s daughter who needed discipline. That everyone here wanted to kill?” I laugh at the statement, which makes him laugh.

“Exactly… You had that spark in you. You’re ambitious, spontaneous, sexy.” I giggle with him. “I know I could tell you everything. How I hated being a weapon, being tortured and feeling like a failure. To be fair, I never felt like a failure with you. You make me better.”

I pull him in for a kiss and it’s heated very quickly, with our respective serums coursing in our veins. Our lips and tongues fight for dominance. He begins to nip on my jawline and his arms wrap tightly around me. “I love you, Clare.” He says in my ear and moans leave my needy lips.

“I… I love you too.” I say in pure shock of him professing his love to me. I know very deep in my heart that’s what I want. To be with him. To live a life away from both HYDRA and the Red Room. They took so much from us, that we feel like we fit together, and we do.

“Bucky….” “Hmm?” We continue kissing. “Let’s escape. Tonight. When everyone’s asleep. Tonight, we will be free.” “I love the sound of that. Doll.”

******

I look around to see if the coast is clear. I’m supposed to meet Bucky at this very spot and go to a jet given by Melina, a scientist who was once cycled four times in the program. She actually created the serum we were given that would control us as Dreykov saw fit.

Which is why I can’t actually harm him, and that sucks. Because he took everything from me. From all of us. If I make it out of this alive, I want to find a way to help them. “Clare.” A hushed whisper startles me and I immediately pull my blaster, only to be staring into those familiar blue eyes. “Holy shit.” My breath becomes shaky and I’m back into his arms.

“You scared me.”l’m sorry, my love.” I breathe him in. “Are you ready?” “Yes.” He tightens his arms around me. “Let’s go. Melina is waiting.” I grab my lover’s hand and we stalk the hallways, having our guns ready.

“Clear.” Bucky says as we get closer to our jet. Sweet, sweet freedom. “We’re so close. I can feel it.” Bucky says as his smile brightens the very dim hallway. I can melt. We get to our jet and turn to each other.

“We did it.” I say, completely breathless and in disbelief, as if it were too easy. Nonetheless, I jump into his arms and we kiss. However, a thought occurs. “Where’s Melina?” Thinking we’ve been betrayed, I get out of his arms as his eyes go from awe to being in complete terror. “James…” I whisper before turning to face not only Dreykov, but also Pierce and other soldiers.

“What a lovely couple you two make.” Dreykov teases. A knot forms in my stomach as I squeeze onto Bucky’s hand. “Don’t be afraid. You can do this.” I tell myself as they just stand there. “I can say the same about you two as well.” I manage to say sternly as I don’t look at Bucky, but I can tell he’s impressed.

“You really do have a smart mouth, just like your father. Exactly like him. Sarcastic, charming, and incredibly defiant.” Pierce speaks. Bucky squeezes my hand two times letting me know to get ready for a major fight. “You know, it is forbidden for your union.” Dreykov says. “The Winter Soldier is the greatest weapon of HYDRA.” “And Agent Stark, you’ve been amazing in missions… how was your father?”

Fury runs through me and my blood boils. I’m ready to punch Dreykov in the throat. “Bucky isn’t a weapon.” I scowl. “And don’t you fucking talk about my father.” I dare to grip on Bucky’s hand once more, take a look at him and he nods, saying I got this. I go up, no, storm up to Dreykov and punch him square in the nose, his blood now staining my knuckles.

You see, Bucky snuck in this vial of red dust from Melina before our encounter. I’m fully out of his control. Dreykov looks at me startled. I can’t help the smirk forming. Right before I sweep him off his feet and I turn to Pierce.

“Your friend is knocked off his ass. Want to be next?” I threaten him. But he smirks back. I hear Bucky coming up behind me. “NO!” I hear him yell as he goes to try to fight Pierce, just as his comrades start to walk up. Fuck.

“You can try to get me, but since you two work very well together, I thought I’d give you both a challenge.” I don’t get it, why doesn’t he just say those words to activate the Winter Soldier and just end my life anyway? No, I can’t think that way. Bucky and I will make it out of this. We fucking will.

We stand back to back, weapons ready. “Remember, I’m with you till the end of the line.” Bucky says. “I know.” I breathe. “We’re a team.”

The first comrade approaches me and I send a bite into his skin, disabling him immediately. I hear one groan in pain, assuming Bucky has him in a chokehold. I kick the next comrade, the next one after him I get punched and then dodge his next hit before flipping him on his back, knocking him out. One comes to grab me from behind, so I elbow him, twist his arm and get out of his grip and taze him.

I get my batons and start swinging, kicking, hitting. Blood sprays everywhere. I can hear Bucky grunting and his hands moving into the next comrade. Those loving hands on me, now brutally killing others. There are no more comrades on my side to fight, so I go to help Bucky, only to see that Dreykov is no longer on the ground.

“The Winter Soldier has taught you well.” Dreykov taunts as I whip my head around to face him. Now we’re face to face. “You are so much like your father.” “Yeah.” I glare at him, feeling the blood trickle out of my nose. “I am. “Maybe a little better.” Dreykov sends a taunting laugh.

I make a move to drop kick him, but somehow I can’t get to him. I realize Bucky’s metal arm was around me. No, this can’t happen. Pierce probably activated him. “Bucky, please fight this.” “Clare…” Bucky strains, trying to fight the Soldier. “Soldier, why don’t you prepare your lover for a trip to Serbia.”

No. Suddenly, I watch a series unfold, maybe a dream, as I feel a prick in my arm. I know I’m laying down on something. Bucky defies the Soldier he was. He goes to attack, obliterate other comrades, strangles Dreykov, before punching Pierce in the face. I can feel myself being dragged into the jet by Melina. I fucking knew it.

I feel woozy. “Melina…” “Shh, this might hurt.” I feel another prick as I watch blood sprays everywhere. My lover was defending me, even from his brainwashing. “I love you James Buchanan Barnes.” I say as I slip into unconsciousness.

******

Nine months later

I lay awake, sore from my latest form of torture: getting burned. My torso sears in pain. I miss Bucky so much. I’ve stopped receiving letters from him for a week, tops. I’ve been dreaming about him, my life before the last almost two years. My aching for my family. The last time I saw my father, heartbroken as I pointed my widow bites at him.

Bucky sent me letters and I’d try my best to write him back. He’s not supposed to come see me. He still gets his mind wiped after every mission, lord knows after this one it’ll happen again. It seems they’re trying to erase me from his memory, but it doesn’t work. It feels like he’s resisting, as he snuck in a journal for me to write in, and HYDRA doesn’t seem to mind.

So, I will write about my days in it. When they try to break me, keep my letters and notes from James. His promise to get us out. To see my family. Maybe somehow start a family, as I’m pretty sure they took that away. All of it seems pointless though. Rumple is relentless when it comes to the torture. His favorite is starving me.

I’m writing in my journal when I see a piece of paper slide in the door. He’s back. I don’t hesitate putting down the journal and getting the note.

“Hi darling. I’m so sorry for making you wait so long. I was on a rampage chasing a bird, a widow and another super soldier. Captain America. He says we were best friends. Listen, they’re going to send you to Sokovia. I don’t know for how long, but I’ve fought tooth and nail for you, and still will. I brought something back for you to keep me close. I love you. I will get you out. - James”

I open the envelope and it’s a dog tag. I look at it closely. It’s one of his dog tags from the war. I smell the note and it smells like him, and hold it to my heart with the dog tag. “I love you.” I whisper as I put the dog tag around my neck. I slip the note into the journal when Rumlow yells, “Stark, grab your shit. You're being transferred. I will miss your pretty face.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will.” I say spitting into his own smug face before walking off with guards. I can feel Bucky’s presence even if I know he’s getting his mind wiped. “You got this Clare.” I can hear his voice in my head as I leave Siberia.

New chapters to come every two weeks! Chapter One will be out the night of March 8th! 🦾🥀

#bucky x oc #bucky barnes #black widow #iron man #the avengers #tony stark #marvel #the winter soldier

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eurovision-revisited · 7 months ago

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Eurovision 2006 - Number 8 - 2 Pieces of Cake - "Bring the Sun"

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When I first heard this I wondered what on Earth it was. It's a mix of a mid-1980s throw-away art-pop experiment and some dirty indie guitars deciding they want to get involved with the chorus. There's the air of mysteriousness only a flag video of a band with no name recognition can bring too. Are 2 Pieces of Cake a one-off bedroom based teenage idea or an offshoot of another more established group who have decided to separate their more serious brand from either Eurovision or whatever this is?

It took me a while to find out. None of the listed names associated with this on Eurovision websites have any other name recognition anywhere. Google 2 Pieces of Cake and you're only getting cake recipes and cafés. The listed song-writer, Ēriks Bubko, does bring some hits on YouTube for a band called Finx whose videos garner single-digit viewing figures currently.

Buried deep in the four or five albums in one called Райский сад (Garden of Eden) which has a track on it called Bring the Sun. Corporate distribution strip mining back catalogues for uploads occasionally does bring rewards - I hope Finx are compensated. They are a band who in their day (mid 2000s) achieved several Latvian radio airplay number ones albeit not with any huge critical approval nor sales.

It turns out that 2 Pieces of Cake are two members of Finx, specifically song-writer and band member Guntis Dūmiņš (also known as just DJ for the purposes of programming drum machines) and singer Gunita Ozola. Their other output is in Russian and English and is a little more conventionally synth-based Europop. They would have entered in 2005, but Gunita was pregnant and in 2006 only two of the band seemed to want to go for it - hence the new name.

Bring the Sun is by their regular composer Gints Stankevičs while Ēriks Bubko turns out to be the lyricist only. It's a silly curate's egg of synth lines and rock alongside a processed vocal backing of affected 'ta-ta-ta's. The lyrics concern a relationship with one partner who's cheating and wants more or wants out, but doesn't seem to be too interested in Gunita. Though to be fair, she doesn't seem to be too interested in them anyway. She wants to strike out on her own. Goodbye boy.

For all it's artiness and muddled instrumentation, I can't help but love it. The first time I heard it I was addicted no matter how janky it is. There's something in it that appeals to me through the Latvian flag and scratches the itchiest of earworms, bringing relief with every listen.

Obviously it didn't qualify from its semi-final. I have no idea how it appeared on stage, but the jury placed it seventh and the televote eighth, putting it way outside the qualification zone. There was no more output from 2 Pieces of Cake.

Finx however continued. There are between four and six albums (I think) as well as several radio friendly singles. Gunita left the band for good in 2008/9 and they replaced her with a new vocalist Marta Kukarane.

From the same album that Bring the Sun eventually appeared on, here's Gone by Finx.

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#esc 2006 #esc #eurovision #eurovision song contest #Athens #Athens 2006 #Youtube #national finals #Eirodziesma 2006 #Latvia #2 Pieces of Cake #Finx #Ēriks Bubko #Guntis Dūmiņš #Gints Stankevičs #Gunita Ozola

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jkstompers · 4 years ago

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passing notes | jjk

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader

summary: a year of crushing and jungkook’s finally asked you out on a proper date.

genre: classmates to lovers??!, established friendship, they go on a date <3, jk is so stressed out, !fancy restaurant warning!, jk is A GENTLEMAN!! but wbk, oc is a nerd but is BOLD AF!!

warnings: mature!! (18+!!), SMUT,...they make out, LOTS of built up tension is let out tonite!, fingering, praise kink, handjob, backseat action, semi-public sex?? very strong language, jk overuses the nickname ‘baby’

word count: 9k

author’s note: pt. 3 of seatmate!jk. WE’VE GOT SOME FILTH TODAY PPL!!!!!!! this is my first time releasing a piece of writing that has smut in it so pls!! let me know what u think!!! i’m open to criticism but i cry easily so… pls pls be nice (Ｔ▽Ｔ) LMAO!! i also completely made up the program for ocean scientists that oc talks about LMAO i just needed her to ramble for a bit hahahah

additional note: also pls imagine jungkook looking like this in class and then wearing this for their date. also if ur curious, this is what i imagined oc’s dress to look like :)

okay enjoy!! thank u ( ˘ ³˘)

it was the end of the semester and of course, the only time jungkook would be running late to class was when he was finally going to ask you out on a date. so far, everything seems to be going against the idea. his alarm didn’t go off on time, the shower took way too long to warm up, and his car was low on gas. now he’s speed walking, almost running, to lecture to make sure that his seat next to you isn’t taken.

he wants to make sure this goes perfectly. he spent the past two weeks stressing over the plans. asking for recommendations for nice restaurants in the city in almost every group chat he was in. his friend (the one with parents as ceo’s, eunwoo), helped him and got him a reservation at this one five star restaurant that jungkook’s never been to. eunwoo told him that it was the prettiest place he’s ever been to, said it would be perfect for a first date.

jungkook specifically remembers you telling him that you’ve never gone on an actual dinner date. ice cream dates, movie theater dates, and amusement park dates were what you were used to. there was nothing wrong with that, it’s just that you’ve never experienced a candlelit dinner at a restaurant, that’s it. jungkook just wanted to be the first one to experience it with you.

so when his morning starts off this shitty, he wonders if his plans are falling apart. he tries to keep a good, positive mindset, but he’s already so nervous and the universe seems to be telling him: don’t do it, she’ll reject you, you’re gonna look stupid in front of her.

meanwhile, you’re early this lecture. it was the last class of the semester and you were hoping that you could get a nice conversation with jungkook in before it started. the two of you have gotten a lot closer since you last hung out. the chain of events starting with you apologizing for being so embarrassing,

[12:44 pm] you: jungkook!!! oh my god i am so sorry for last night 😭

[12:45 pm] you: i don’t take alcohol very well 😖

[12:50 pm] jungkook: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[12:50 pm] jungkook: no need to apologize! are u feeling sick? hungover?

[12:52 pm] you: omg no not really

[12:52 pm] you: ur a great drinking buddy, i owe u one 🥺

[12:53 pm] jungkook: it’s alright cutie

[12:54 pm] jungkook: just happy ur feeling okay :)

[12:56 pm] you: let me make it up to u 😭 i’ll buy us lunch one of these days?

[12:57 pm] jungkook: ah no can do cutie

[12:57 pm] jungkook: have to buy u dinner first

the thought of the conversation makes you smile. that one conversation starting the domino effect of the two of you talking almost everyday for the past two weeks. you couldn’t help but expect jungkook to at least be here, but if he didn’t wanna come, then he didn’t have to.

you sat in your seat, patiently waiting for the one next to you to be filled by him. the hall was starting to fill now and class was about to start. you look around one last time to see that jungkook is still nowhere to be seen, and that a familiar brown-haired guy was beginning to walk up to you.

“hello, ___! is this seat taken?” taehyung smiles brightly, you look down at the seat next to you. your bag saving the spot for jungkook. maybe he skipped this lecture, since it was practically for nothing anyway, you’ve already taken the final and there was no other material to learn, it was more so to wrap things up and see if anyone still needed to understand something.

your brain comes to a conclusion. you remove your bag and say, “no, go ahead,” to taehyung with a small smile on your face, one that hides the disappointment riddling your mind.

it’s about five minutes after the professor starts talking when jungkook finally walks in. he looks up to try and find you as he walks up the steps of the auditorium. his eyes land on you and taehyung, chatting amongst yourselves. he can’t help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy, that’s his seat. even though there were no assigned seats, the place next to you was always his, that’s just how it was, and seeing someone else sitting there, especially taehyung, makes jungkook’s green monster pop out.

you feel a presence step behind you while you were talking to taehyung, and before you know it, jungkook is sitting in the seat next to taehyung. “oh! good morning, jungkook!” you’re smiling to him. he doesn’t grant you one of his regular vocal responses, rather he gives you a tight-lipped grin before he leans back into his chair and focuses on whatever the professor was saying.

maybe he was jealous. witnessing you and taehyung having a wonderful conversation, one that makes you smile and laugh like he does. you didn’t even notice him when he came up the stairs, only greeting him when he sat down. no, he was definitely jealous.

you’re stealing glances his way, pretending to be interested in whatever taehyung is talking about. he’s wearing the most boyfriend-est outfit in the world. a white long sleeve with grey sweatpants, his long hair tied up in a ponytail. you’re unconsciously biting your lip as you stare at him, he’s just so cool. he’s not even doing much other than looking straight forward. but this angle lets you see his sharp jawline and his side profile perfectly.

you felt bad, one hundred percent. you should have told taehyung that the seat was taken, because now he was talking your ear off and you didn’t mind it, but you wanted someone else to be talking your ear off and it was the guy sitting next to him.

when taehyung changes his focus to your professor talking about a summer he had in paris. you steal another glance at jungkook. you catch him staring at you, your eyes meet. he doesn’t keep the connection, cutting it off by moving his head and looking straight ahead. his jaw clenches, arms coming over and across his chest. he seems angry, you pick up on the energy now. an idea pops in your head to try and make him feel better. reaching into your bag to find one of your index cards, writing a message on it.

feeling okay?

you scoot your chair back a bit, pretending to stretch as you tap jungkook’s shoulder. he turns his head to you, eyebrows raised. you hand him the paper. he stares at first, eyes flickering between you and the paper. reluctantly, he takes it, unfolding his crossed arms to receive the note. you scoot back into your seat and lean into the table, lowering your chin onto the desk.

jungkook tries to hide his smile as he reads your little note. how could he ever stay mad at you? it wasn’t your fault he was late. so he replies, his black ink has a stark contrast against your green highlighter. he can already feel his bad mood brightening.

yeah, didn’t save me a seat? :(

this time he folds the note, handing it to taehyung and telling him to pass it to you. “really? you’re passing notes? we’re in college, jeon.” taehyung snickers as he slides the paper towards you.

you let a small laugh, reading the note. taehyung’s scolding continues as you write your response on the index card. you changed your green highlighter out with a blue pen.

i came super early :( waited 20 mins for u </3 but i didn’t think u were coming so i let taehyung sit here

you send it back and watch jungkook’s somewhat straight face contort into a smile. there it is, the smile that you know and love.

jungkook on the other hand could cry. you came early. you waited for him. god, had he royally fucked this up. he makes his mind up now.

i’m sorry :( let me make it up to u? can i take you out on a date tonight?

check: ◯ yes ◯ no

jungkook keeps the paper for a good minute, reading the note over and over again, thinking about how childish this way of asking is. but at the same time, jungkook knows that if he talks to you about it after class, he’ll gloss over the words and never ask you. letting the reservation and plans he made weeks ago render themselves useless. it was now or never.

so he fully sends it, tapping your shoulder and giving it to you directly. you open the note and scan the words, sending him the sweetest look he’s ever received in his life. he thinks that would be a yes. he hopes. you write something onto the card and pass it back to him, your hand grazing his for a second.

⚫ yes :) ♡ ◯ no

the rest of the class passes pretty quickly. not that you were paying any attention. jungkook had emailed you a link to a game that the two of you could play, a weird version of snakes. jungkook kept cheating, you swore it, but in all honesty, you knew you couldn’t compete when it came to jungkook and his computer games. a clap from the professor breaks your attention from your screen, “alright, that was the last class of anatomy 101!” he then goes on a two minute long speech thanking the entire class for their great work this past year. he ends his ment with, “good luck and make good decisions! have a fun summer!”

you take your time packing your things, a little too long for someone that just has a laptop to put into their bag. taehyung says goodbye to the both of you and leaves first, the seat in between you both empty. now it was just the two of you. a small blush creeps onto your cheeks. you were well past your high school crush phase, but jungkook makes you feel so shy again.

you try to hide it by speaking first, “so, a date?”

he sends you that award winning smile that makes you swoon. “yeah, did you change your mind?”

you shake your head. “is it casual? fancy? want me to wear a dress again?” you tease, finally pushing your computer into your bag and standing.

jungkook gulps. you looked so pretty that night in a dress. “fancy,” he answers, “you can wear a dress if you want, pantsuits are cool too— whatever you want.” he finishes packing as well, standing next to you as you both begin to walk down the stairs.

“okay then,” you smile. “what time should i be ready?”

“i’ll come and pick you up at seven, is that okay?” he replies, hand in his pockets. you both make your way out of the room and start to move towards the parking lot.

“sounds good,” you nod, approaching your car. jungkook walks you to your door, his eyes focused on your sweet smile and your eyes. if jungkook didn’t know any better, he would have thought you were leaning closer towards him. a small laugh leaves your throat. “see you later, kookie.”

he sends you a smile, the nickname tugging at his heartstrings. the realization hits him after you’ve already driven away and he’s sitting in the driver seat of his car. an embarrassing blush covers his face, he takes a deep breath and laughs to himself. finally. a year of crushing and he’s finally asked you on a proper date.

jungkook is quite frankly, freaking the fuck out. he isn’t sure what to wear and his hair isn’t working with him. the long strands seemingly out to make his life a living hell when he tries to style it. one strand always looks out of place, or the way that it parts doesn’t sit right. he’s pacing his bathroom, debating if he should just shower again and take all the stupid fucking product out of his hair.

he gives in after ten minutes of deliberation. a quick shower removing all the wax and gel from his hair. the ends of his hair dripping when he goes to check his phone, the time reading: 6:45. he was gonna be late to pick you up. now he’s full on panicking. he has no other choice then to skip the hair product all together and just let his hair dry and part on it’s own. he slides on his all black fancy outfit he had planned out just in case the first one didn’t work out. he steps out of his apartment after grabbing his car keys, wallet, and the flowers he bought earlier in the day for you.

a friend of his works in a flower shop. jungkook remembers you saying that you like all flowers and that you couldn’t choose if you had to. so his friend asked what you were like, trying to figure out a way to style the bouquet without knowing your favorites. jungkook said the general things; you’re sweet like an apple, probably sweeter, like candy. you’re so pretty, it’s blessing that he’s able to lay his eyes upon you. you’re smart, too smart for him to flirt stupidly like he always does, ‘cause you outsmart him and flirt with him back in a wittier way. you’re— that was enough information, his friend told him he was babbling again. jungkook only had to wait ten minutes for his friend to finish fixing up a beautiful bouquet for you.

the bouquet is placed on the passenger seat as he starts his car, texting you when he realizes it’s almost five minutes until 7.

[6:54 pm] jungkook: fuck

[6:54 pm] jungkook: i’m gonna be a little late

[6:55 pm] jungkook: i swear i’m not standing u up

[6:55 pm] jungkook: ok i’m putting my phone down to drive to u now, sorry cutie!!

[6:57 pm] you: ah okay!

[6:57 pm] you: i was getting a little worried haha

[6:58 pm] you: see u in a bit <3

jungkook drives safely, but efficiently to your apartment. the drive only taking about five minutes because the stop lights were gracing him with green lights his entire way to you. he parks right in front, grabbing the flowers and hopping out of the car. when he knocks on your door, he starts to feel his nerves work against him. the adrenaline from rushing here gave him enough energy to hype himself up, but now as he’s standing here at your door, waiting for you to answer, his throat starts to dry and his hands start to sweat.

the metal door slides open, revealing you. in your silk dress, draping over your body in the most flattering way. the neckline deliciously hangs down to reveal your cleavage ever so slightly and the slit on the dress, displaying your thigh teasingly. jungkook is speechless at his first glance at you. his eyebrows raise and his mouth drops open, catching himself drooling once you step out from your apartment.

“h— hi, you look— wow,” he stumbles over his words, taking a step back to admire you once again. “you’re fucking stunning.”

you brush your hair back behind your ear, your hand covering the blush covering your cheeks. “thank you, you look very handsome, jungkook.” you reach out and play with his black tie. he looks down when you do, remembering that he was holding a bouquet of flowers for you.

he holds them out, “these are for you.” like a kid giving his crush a dandelion he picked from the grass.

“these are gorgeous, jungkook! thank you.” you look up to him with your signature sweet eyes, the ones that never fail to make him melt. “just give me one sec, i’ll put these down and then we can go?” you ask, holding onto the bouquet and waiting for him to respond. a quick nod is all you need to open your door and place them in the fridge. you come out a few seconds later, locking your door and standing by jungkook again.

“that was fast,” he comments. he holds his arm out for you to hold, which you gratefully take.

“i just put them in the fridge, my grandma showed me the trick, it helps them live a little longer,” you explain. the two of you walking out to his parked car. he never lets your hand touch the handle, always opening the door for you.

“when they die, i’ll just buy you new ones.” closing the door for you and making his way to the drivers seat.

you scrunch your nose. when he comes back and joins you in the car, you voice your worry. “it’s kind of a waste, don’t you think?”

he shakes his head, “if it’s for you, nothing’s a waste.”

jungkook was a professional with his words. always rendering you speechless.

with that he starts the car and begins driving into the busier part of seoul. he makes his way into the restaurants parking garage, the building looks to be about five stories. the architecture itself looks expensive, you wonder where jungkook is taking you tonight. he parks the car, turning off the engine, and moving to open the door for you. he takes your hand and you hold onto your dress, fixing it once you get out of the car. god, you’re so pretty. he was so nervous.

“ready, my lady?” he smiles, his arm out for you to hold.

it makes you laugh, a snort almost. “i’ve never seen you so proper, mr. jeon.”

“only for you,” he winks. your heels click against the concrete floor as he leads the two of you into the building. the high ceilings and multiple chandeliers are what greet you first, the brightness of the place giving the sun something to rival. jungkook brings you over to the waiting area, telling you to wait for a minute as he checks you guys in.

this was crazy to say the least. the last time you went on a date, it was to the movie theaters. you’ve never been in a place like this; a doorman greeting every guest as they walk in, checking in to eat, multi-story, etc. the more you look around, the cooler it is. “let’s go?” jungkook’s voice makes you turn your head. you stand, taking his hand.

the two of you follow a man wearing a black and white suit, with a long tail jacket. he brings you to the elevators, holding the doors open for you both. you step in and he presses the fifth button, which was the top floor. you squeeze jungkook’s hand. he repeats the action, looking to you and silently asking if you were okay with the look in his eyes and the raise of his eyebrows. you nod, a smile on your face.

with that the elevator doors open, the metal doors sliding apart to reveal a private terrace. only a couple tables on the entire floor. a few people sitting down and enjoying their dinners. beautiful greenery surrounding the perimeter, the night sky only making it prettier. your mouth is left agape, you’re stuck in the elevator, speechless. jungkook gently tugs you forward, following the suit man to the table.

jungkook pulls your chair out for you. you could cry at the chivalry. you sit and he pushes the chair in, jungkook follows soon, sitting in the chair across from you. the man hands the two of you the menu and moves away from the table, standing back near to the elevator, waiting until you are both ready to order.

“this is fucking crazy,” you whisper-shout. the terrace was lit by these bright fairy lights that were hidden in the plants and were above the tables as well. it looked like little fairies and fire flies were in the air, roaming around.

“i know right!” jungkook looked as surprised as you were. “i asked my friends for some help and holy shit!”

“they know you’re on a date with me right now?” you ask, raising your eyebrows.

to this he furrows his eyebrows, “of course they do, i talk about you all the time—”but he stops himself from exposing himself any further. you can’t help but giggle. “i mean, i asked them to help me make this special, and here we are.”

you swoon. he’s so sweet for planning all of this out and wanting to make you feel special. the two of you look through the menu, jungkook warns you not to look at the prices, telling you to get whatever you want because the price doesn’t matter. but of course, your eyes stray to the numbers, the meals costing a pretty penny for a simple spaghetti plate, the cheapest thing on there. you were craving pasta anyway, you didn’t mind. the two of you order and wait for the food to arrive.

the city of seoul was just below you, not too high but high enough to turn people into smaller figures of themselves. the night lights look gorgeous from up here. the warm summer night only complimenting the gorgeous atmosphere.

“the view is so pretty,” you gaze out into the city. the pretty colors from all the lights of the different stores and restaurants complementing each other so beautifully.

jungkook was in awe, he knows that the city below you is gorgeous, but he can’t seem to get his eyes off of you. your chin resting in the palm of your hand as your eyes search through the streets. “yeah…” he agrees, “very beautiful.” he smiles, only looking at you.

the food comes and you both dig in. the two of you enjoy some conversation with each other as you eat. the topic of growing up comes up, both of you explaining the occupations you wanted, and you said something that sparked curiosity in jungkook. “your childhood dream was to live in california?” he smiles, chewing on his steak. most of the time kids dream about going to the moon or finding atlantis, but you wanted to go to america?

you nod, “sounds funny right? when i was a teen, i watched a lot of 90210.”

“is that all though? you only wanted to go because of a tv show?” he asks. there’s something you’re hiding, and jungkook can see it in the way that you hide your smile.

at first, you hesitate, but you open your mouth to speak, “well— there is— no, it’s embarrassing.” you shake your head, changing your mind and reverting your eyes down. staring at the plate of pasta in front of you. guys you talked to didn’t wanna hear about it, they thought what you were into was boring, embarrassing almost. a part of you feared that jungkook would feel the same.

you feel his hand on your chin, tilting your head up. “i wanna hear about it.” his face telling you the truth, the sincerity in his eyes as he patiently waits for you to explain.

“there’s this science program in california, they explore new ideas for researching the ocean, like trying to see what lurks in the deep blue, helping fix the rising oceans, everything-- oh my god, and they like go on field trips to different countries to see the coastlines and historical sites—” you cut yourself off when you realize that you’re talking at the speed of light. “i’m rambling.” you were terrified to see his reaction.

but when your eyes finally meet jungkook’s, they’re full of light. and his smile is so big. “dude, that’s so dope!” he grins, “i didn’t know you were so into the ocean!”

it was the bare minimum, being nice, but that was hard to find when it came to the majority of the male species. obviously, jungkook is above average, he only proves that the more time you spend with him.

“oh, i love it! my parents would bring me to the beach and i would cry every time we would have to leave, aquariums too, and the fish section in the pet stores.” you gush, leaning into the table to tell jungkook more. he leans into his hand, resting his cheek against his fist as he listens to you spill your knowledge and love.

he notes that the next date should be at the beach or an aquarium. it was a great time for him to learn this, especially since it was summer. the weather in favor of the cold ocean waves. jungkook swears he can listen to you talk until the end of time. your sweet voice can be the narration to his life, he’d never get sick of it.

the food on both of your plates had been cleared, the conversation sizzling into a comfortable silence before the man came back to give you the bill. jungkook doesn’t let you see it, instead just sticking his card in the black folder thing, and giving it back to the fancy suit man. it wasn’t long before he came back, handing jungkook back his card and giving the both of you a lollipop with gold flakes encased inside.

you gasp at the piece of candy, now that was ridiculous. you weren’t one to reject a lollipop though, gratefully taking the candy and popping it into your mouth. jungkook does the same. it tastes of blueberry. at this point he stands up, moving in front of you and holding his hand out to you. “let’s look around? i heard they have a cool museum on the second floor.”

you take his hand, “i love museums!” the two of you make your way to the elevator, the man (he never told you his name) kept the door open for you both. he presses the second floor button when jungkook asks him for the museum. the elevator landing on the second floor, the doors slide open to show a completely empty art hall. this place shocking you every chance it gets. you didn’t think it could get better, but it did.

when the two of you exit the elevator, the man leaves you to it, taking the elevator down and leaving you alone. your eyes scan the place, huge paintings on the walls, small paintings in collages, some sculptures on the floor, it felt like a pop-up museum. you both make your way down the enormous hallway, both sides of the room’s wall displaying works of art. you stop at one specific painting, the familiar work has you spewing random facts. “these are the lovers! i had to analyze this once,” you speak. the art displaying a couple kissing, both of their heads covered by a white sheet. “the real one is in australia, i think.” you laugh, tapping the lollipop against your lips.

jungkook listens intently, but he doesn’t pay attention to the painting on the wall. everytime he does, his eyes always revert to you. the art doesn’t stand a chance against you in his book. you, yourself, were a piece of art, one that was rare in this world, one of a kind.

he can’t seem to resist. taking your hand and raising it over your head, the way that they do in ballroom dancing. if a twirl was what he wanted, then so he got it. “beautiful,” he compliments, pulling you in close for a hug. the two of you swaying in the middle of the hall of this stupidly expensive restaurant.

you look up to him, making full eye contact as the two of you lean on one foot to the other. probably looking like a lovesick couple, getting lost in the moment. which, you were. your eyes flicker from his eyes down to his lips, he seems to do the same thing. his hand moves to caress your face, the swaying ceased. now the two of you are centimeters apart, noses brushing against each other. if jungkook doesn’t kiss you now, he thinks he’ll combust. so when he feels you pushing forward, he does the same, meeting you in the middle. your lips connect. the kiss almost identical to the painting in front of you.

jungkook swears he felt himself levitating. your lips are sweet, the blueberry flavor of the lollipop lingering on them. he’s had his fair share of kisses in his life. makeouts, pecks, cheek kisses, all types of kisses. but something about this one tells him that he’s in for it. he’ll never be able to get enough now that he’s gotten a taste.

neither of you want to take it too far; swallowing each other's faces in a distinguished, five star restaurant’s museum didn’t seem very proper. so the two of you make your way out of the building, thanking everyone at the front desk, especially the man that helped you out today, and walking into the parking garage where jungkook’s car was.

when you get to his car, he moves to open the passenger door for you but you stop him with a hand on his arm. you reach to open the back door handle and his eyes almost bulge out. everyone knows what happens in the backseat, and jungkook did not prepare himself for something like this.

you look up at him with the most innocent eyes, but there’s something devious hidden in your smile when you ask, “do you wanna talk for a bit longer? in the backseat? it’s more comfortable than sitting in the front.”

jungkook never took you for someone this bold. it’s either you didn’t know the meaning of the backseat (which was totally fine) or you knew very well, and had plans to devour jungkook (which was also totally fine).

he chickens out, his hands starting to sweat. “do you want to just go for a little walk or something?” it’s not like jungkook didn’t want anything to happen, it’s that he did. if he starts, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever recover from it. he walks a tightrope around you when it comes to his self control. one wrong move, and he’s terrified that he’ll fuck everything up.

“oh, it’s just my feet kinda hurt from these heels.” you pout, lifting you foot up to show him the almost stiletto heel.

his eyes widen. why didn’t he think of that? “oh— oh shit, i didn’t even— yeah, let’s sit.” he tugs on the door, letting you slide into the back seat. he follows, leaving a good amount of space between you both to make sure that there was nothing too suspicious going on. you hope your bold moves hide your nervousness, despite your confidence, jungkook’s unsure looks make you want to curl up into a ball. did he not want this?

the air was different now. in the restaurant the two of you had been so carefree, slow dancing in the museum, and landing a sweet kiss on each other’s lips. but now, an uncomfortable silence tears at the two of you. your hesitance makes you speak, trying to see if a conversation would ease the tension in the air. “i had a lot of fun tonight, kookie, thank you.”

it seems to comfort jungkook, he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. with a small smile on his face he replies, “me too, i was really nervous you wouldn’t like the food.”

“oh it was good! i’ll eat anything really, it’s just—“

“you didn’t like the place? was it too much—“

“no, jungkook, oh my god— i loved it, it was just really expensive, i still feel really bad about you paying for all of it,” you look to him seriously. “let me give you at least my half?”

he shakes his head, “i asked you out on this date, it means i pay, don’t worry about the price.”

you roll your eyes playfully, “big spender huh?”

a pretty laugh escapes his lips. “hard worker too.”

to this you smile, you stare at his impossibly-perfect face, noticing a stray eyelash on his cheek. you see a chance to strike and you take it immediately. you lean forward to swipe it off. jungkook almost leans into your touch. he’s so terrified that he’ll embarrass himself right now, so he’s been holding back tremendously. but the way you pick the eyelash off and place it on your thumb with a smile on your face, it eases most of the tension in his chest.

“make a wish!” you hold your thumb up to his lips. his eyes cross to look at the piece of hair on your finger, but nevertheless he obliged. shutting his eyes tight, making a wish, and blowing the eyelash off of your thumb.

you let out a small cheer before you ask him, “what’d you wish for?”

“if i told you then my wish wouldn’t come true, right?” he boops your nose. suddenly, jungkook doesn’t feel so nervous. his nerves calming at the feeling of your soft hands against his face. you make him so nervous, but at the same time you make him so comfortable and make him want to be himself. it seems as though the two of you were staring at each other for a while. jungkook was thinking about how much he likes you, the same ideas run through your mind. the thoughts make you wish for something more.

“can i kiss you again, kookie?”

he stares at you, weighing his options. if he kisses you now, then he has to strategically only give you a few kisses, he absolutely cannot make out with you, or else, jungkook will succumb to his desires.

but he takes a little too long to respond. the both of you overthinking the fuck out of the situation. it makes you draw back. “it’s okay if you don’t want—“

“no, no, please, kiss me,” he brings you back, moving closer to you. licking his lips in anticipation as you slowly push forward, closing the gap between you both. the kiss is so sweet, like the one in the museum. jungkook can still taste the blueberry lingering on your lips. he doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of kissing you.

you pull away first. your eyes scanning his face to see any expression of regret. there’s none. his hand moves to the side of your face, caressing your face and bringing you to him once again to meet your lips. he can’t get enough. “tell me what you wished for, please,” you speak against his lips.

he smiles into the kiss. he wasn’t going to tell you, but since you were asking so nicely, he gives you a kiss on the cheek when he answers, “i wished for a second date.”

“oh, didn’t you know?” you kiss both of his cheeks before speaking again, “i grant wishes,” with wink.

“fuck, you’re so cute,” he thinks out loud, it makes you blush. pink cheeks out for show and jungkook thinks you look even cuter. he dives in for one more kiss, telling himself this will be the last one, but when you make sweet noises against his lips, it has him wanting more. hands moving down to your waist, pulling you in and letting you climb onto his lap. he pulls away first, trying to get a hold of himself. “i uh— actually, didn’t plan for this to happen,“ he mumbles against your skin, tripping over his words.

you look down, arms wrapped around his neck. “hm? what did you plan?”

“we were supposed to kiss on the next date i take you on and i didn’t think— we’re just ahead of schedule, that’s all.” jungkook tries to explain that he didn’t want to rush it, god no. he wanted to take his time, make sure that you didn’t feel pressured to do anything. but now, it seems like you’re taking the wheel and jungkook doesn’t mind it one bit.

“oh so you had like a real plan? like times and everything?” the thought of it makes you laugh, and the way that jungkook flushes makes you want to pinch his cheeks.

he pouts when you giggle, “don’t laugh, i just really, really wanted to do it right, you’re just so amazing and i didn’t wanna fuck it up.”

you smile at his concern. the fact that you have the uni heartthrob planning dates in his head down to the details and wanting to be sure he does it right makes your head spin. you hope jungkook doesn’t notice the way that your heart is beating three times the normal rate when you go to kiss him again. the only sounds in the car are labored breaths and your lips smacking together. it doesn’t take long before you’re grinding into him. his growing bulge rubbing against your soaking core. a groan leaving him when you grind particularly harder, his hands moving to your ass to grip it. you melt in his arms, small whimpers leaving your throat as jungkook drinks them up

you pull away from his lips, giving his cheeks attention then leaving a trail of kisses as you make your way to his ear. one final kiss is planted below his earlobe before you whisper, “am i ruining your plans, kookie?”

jungkook tries his best to conceal his groan, tries his best to ignore his incredibly hard dick in his jeans, but you’re so pretty and you’re on top of him, kissing him. it feels like a dream to jungkook. it is quite literally a dream come true.

he was already playing with fire, your body a flame in the cold, he moves closer and closer until he burns. “fuck plans,” he breathes. a hand comes back to caress your face once again. filthy thoughts flooding his brain. he wonders what being in between your legs is like, what you sound like when you cum. he wants to make you cry and beg for his cock. but he holds himself back, knowing that you’ll have time to try everything out, if you wanted of course. he leans the both of you forward, his large hands splayed on your back to secure you on his lap. your lips find each other once more. “can i touch you?” he asks so sweetly, a hidden poison weaving through that you can slightly hear through the deep rumble of his voice.

you’ve never wanted anything more. “please,” you nod. your lips chasing his when he pulls further away.

jungkook smiles at the action. “lay on my lap, baby.” he instructs, tapping your thigh. the nickname rolling off his tongue, his voice seemingly dropping an entire octave. you raise your leg and move it over to sit on his lap, sideways. your back against the car door and his right hand rubbing your thighs ever so gently.

“like this?” you ask, looking to him for reassurance. he looks to you with eyes that you’ve never seen, lusted and dark.

“mhm, perfect,” he nods. “good girl.” the praise goes straight to your belly, your panties flooding from how much you want him. his hands move slowly down your inner thighs as he goes in to kiss you again.

you’re absentmindedly spreading your legs, making room for him. he smirks against your lips when he realizes. he knows what you want, so his fingers move to your panties, lightly putting pressure over your clothed bud. you whimper at the feeling, biting his lip in the process. he moans in response, putting a little more pressure against your bundle of nerves.

“jungkook,” you whine, pulling away from his lips, “please.”

“please what, baby?” he kisses your cheek, “tell me what you want.”

“please touch me, please.” you beg, making eye contact with him. jungkook’s dick twitches at the sound of your begging. he wanted to string you along a little longer, but you’re being so good.

“since you asked so nicely, baby,” he obliges. bunching your dress up around your waist and noticing the pretty black lace underwear you were wearing, “for me?” he asks. you nod, your teeth taking in your bottom lip. he groans at the thought, you getting ready and picking out these cute, risque panties out just for him. it’s just too bad they’re gonna be on the floor on his car. he’s gonna need to ask for a rain check on admiring you and your cute underwear later.

you lift your hips to help him, underwear coming off to reveal your soaking pussy. “oh, fuck,” jungkook murmurs at the sight of it. “you’re so wet baby.” he almost starts drooling, he can’t wait to taste you, but he’s still hesitant, only wanting to do what you want to. next time, he can eat you out. right now, he’ll admire the delicious sight and make you cum on his fingers.

your eyes travel to the window directly in front of you, suddenly feeling insecure. thighs closing, thinking about how someone could look in and see. “what about the windows—“

“they’re tinted, no one can see from the outside in, i promise.” he reassures, giving you another sweet kiss on the cheek before asking, “do you still want to do this? we can stop now.” he’s so lovely, his concern and change in demeanor only making you want it more, knowing that he wouldn’t want to push you to do something you were uncomfortable with. sweet was sexy on jungkook. you never thought there would be a day that jeon jungkook fingers you in a parking lot of a five star restaurant, but here you are. and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

so you shake your head, taking his hand, and placing it back in between your legs. “please.”

“anything for you.” he whispers in your ear before running his middle finger up your slit, collecting your wetness, and spreading it around your clit. he continues making tight circles on your clit, the sensation drives you crazy. you lean your head back against the window, moaning out. it was almost humiliating how reactive you were, you hadn’t indulged in this kind of intimacy in a while, almost a year to be specific.

it wasn’t helping that jungkook was a fucking pro. the right amount of pressure and the placement of his digits against you has you dripping onto his nice, dress pants. you hoped nobody else was in the parking garage, else they would hear your cries of jungkook’s name. “more, kookie, more— fuck.”

“more baby?” he questions, the sound of your moans going straight to his already hard dick. he thinks he could cum just to the sound of your voice. he’s one hundred percent fucked when it comes to you. he dips his middle finger into your hole, you gasp in reaction. “like that? hmm? ”

jungkook knew was he was doing, he had you spread wide in the backseat of his car, already on the verge on an orgasm. he had a few years of experience on his belt, a ‘retired fuck boy’ he was, but he’s never wanted to please somebody more than he does right now with you. you just looked so pretty like this, so eager and begging for more.

he adds his ring finger now, his thumb against your clit. “oh, god—“ you mutter, the feeling of his fingers and his thumb on your clit is too good. his fingers fucking you better than anyone else’s dick ever has. you found yourself bucking your hips against his fingers. “kookie, kiss me, please,” you look up to him with the eyes he can never fucking deny. so he kisses you, drinking up your moans as you fuck yourself up onto his fingers.

“i didn’t know you were such a dirty girl,” he murmurs against your lips. your walls clenching around him, “letting me touch you like this in the backseat of my car?” his usual sweet demeanor now contorting into this cocky guy with an ego. it makes you even wetter. the squelch of your pussy every time his fingers push in is loud, the sound is music to jungkook’s ears.

“only— only for you, jungkook,” you whimper. you feel a familiar knot in your stomach tighten. he looked so hot like this. eager to please. his bottom lip caught in his teeth and a strand of his long hair dangling in front of his eyes.

“good girl, all mine,” he kisses your neck. it may seem just like something you say during sex, but jungkook wanted it to be true. wanted you and only you. all to himself. he makes his way to a sweet spot, the feeling makes you tilt your head, giving him more access to kiss and suck along the sensitive skin. the discomfort of your back against the hard door was the last of your worries. your orgasm creeping closer and closer, juices leaking all overs his fingers. “so wet baby,” he growls, “i know i could just slide in, fuck you so good.”

“p-please, i want it.” the thought of jungkook fucking you senseless, oh, you’d go crazy. begging wasn’t something you did when it came to sex, most of the time it was quiet, moans and breaths were the only things that you’d hear, no dirty words or praises. it was a good change, you never thought that you’d be so into being talked through it.

he smiles at your eagerness, “patience baby, gotta take you on another date, yeah?” kissing your pursed lips. always so sweet and lovely.

you feel his fingers push a little deeper, curling to find that sweet spot inside of you. your reaction does something to him, makes him hit the exact same spot, over and over again, in a slow, torturous beat just so he can draw those delicious gasps and moans out of you. jungkook feels close. he’s never felt like this before, so wound up. he ignores it, pushing it to the back of his head to focus on helping you reach your climax.

lucky for jungkook, he didn’t have to wait very long. his fingers were longer and a thicker than yours, his efforts making you get there faster than you ever could. the consistent deep strokes of his fingers make the warning signals go off in your head. you speak a verbal warning before, “fuck, i’m gonna cum,” your voice pitches a little higher than usual.

“gonna cum all over my fingers, baby?” he gives you one last sloppy kiss before you’re moaning out and coming onto his fingers, eyes screwed shut as your walls convulse rapidly as his fingers fuck you through your orgasm. “fuck, you’re so hot, ___.”

you feel a smile break on your face. “you’re not so bad yourself,” you wink, still trying to catch your breath. a laugh slips from his mouth, small smirk on his mouth to match. he slips his fingers out, your body twitching at the over stimulation.

“i’m sorry, baby,” he apologizes. inspecting his fingers, your pale almost-white cum coating the digits. he brings them to his mouth, sucking on your sweet sap. you’ve never seen anything hotter in your life. “sweet, just like you,” he smirks. you shrink in his stare, hiding your blush. like you totally didn’t just cum on his fingers.

you’re distracted by the feeling of something hard resting under your thigh, it’s then that you realize, “what about—“ you start but jungkook cuts you off quick.

“no, no, it’s okay, it’ll go away soon.” he shakes his head, but you furrow your eyebrows.

you pull on his black tie, making him lean forward and make eye contact with you “can i?” you ask, so sweetly.

he stares at you with the most sexed eyes you’ve ever witnessed. “you’re driving me crazy.”

“you’re always so sweet to me, jungkook,” you kiss his cheek. readjusting yourself in his lap, straddling him once more. “took me on this amazing dinner, always treating me like a princess.” your lips travel down from his cheeks to his jawline, then to his neck. he shudders at the feeling of your lips against his sensitive skin. your hands move from around his neck to travel further down, to the latch of his belt. his breath hitches. “let me return the favor, kookie.”

“i—“ he laughs, the embarrassment evident in the pink tint on his face. “i won’t last very long.”

you didn’t mind, just assuring him with a sweet kiss on the cheek before you start removing his belt. jungkook leans his head back on the headrest, his neck exposed for you to kiss and suck. you unbutton and unzip, pulling his pants and his boxers down at the same time. his size makes your eyes bulge. he was huge. your mouth waters at the sight.

“you’re so big, kook.” you egg him on, fueling his ego because he just looked so hot. your hand moves to hold him at the base, he lets out a shaky breath when your soft skin meets his. jungkook’s head is in the clouds, he could cum right now if he let go, but he’s holds himself back, not wanting to look like a fool in front of you. your hand moves up his dick, your thumb collecting the precum dripping from his hole, your thumb running over his slit as he groans.

his hips buck up, “shit, baby.” he just sounds so good. you could just lick him up. you collect some saliva in your mouth, letting it drip from your mouth onto his dick to lube your hand. he groans at the sight, “you’re so filthy, baby, holy shit.”

you smirk at the admission, the spit making it so easy for your hand to glide against his cock. the feeling makes him throw his head back again. his chest rising and falling. the picture of him with his eyes screwed shut in pleasure and his mouth agape makes your lower belly light up once more, you clench around nothing. leaning in as you pump his cock to whisper in his ear, “wanna fuck me so bad? have me crying on your cock? you want that, don’t you, kookie?”

jungkook twitches at your words. that’s exactly what he wants. was he that easy to read? was that what you wanted too? the thought of it makes him want to explode, “oh— god, ffuck— fuck,” he sputters. his hand coming up to hover above his head, your hand still pumping as the spurts of his cum shoot out. you smile at the action, knowing he didn’t wanna fuck up your dress. instead just making a mess of him and his hand. he takes deep breaths before speaking, “there’s a little box of tissues in the center console, could you hand it to me, baby?”

you lean back, opening the console and reaching for the small box that sits in the center. before you give it to him, your eyes flicker to the sticky mess all over jungkook’s hand and groin. a sudden urge to lick takes you over, holding jungkook’s hand and bringing it up to your mouth. you lick the dripping cum from the palm of his hand as he watches, maintaining eye contact the entire time.

jungkook shivers, a smile creeping on his face, “you— you’re evil.” the remark makes you laugh.

“sorry, just wanted to help clean up.” you smile, swallowing the cum you collected on your tongue.

“yeah, yeah, you’re not the sweet girl i thought you were,” jungkook quirks a brow.

you roll your eyes playfully, “you don’t like it?”

“nope, i love it, you’re perfect.” jungkook wipes off the remaining mess from his lap and his hand. you help him clean up tissues and he picks up your panties that were discarded on the floor. the two of you fix yourselves before stepping out of the back seat, jungkook opens the passenger door for you before he goes to a trashcan and throws away the soiled tissues.

he joins you back in the car, starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot. you were rambling about how happy you were that no one was around and how there were no security cameras in the parking garage. jungkook blabbers too, telling you about how embarrassed he is that he barely lasted a few minutes. before the two of you knew it, his car parked in front of your apartment complex.

he stands outside of your front door, leaning against the doorframe. all dreamy and not like he just made you cum in the backseat of his car. “text me before you sleep?” he smiles.

you nod, “of course,” reflecting the same smile. you wave before closing your door. the date being more than you ever expected. there was no way jungkook was real. he had to be a figment of your imagination, he was the absolute dream guy.

you lay in bed, staring at the stars on your ceiling. a blush creeping up to your cheeks once more when you think about the events that took place tonight.

[11:02 pm] you: thank you for tonight, jungkook

[11:02 pm] you: it was magical <3

[11:03 pm] jungkook: no problem cutie, i had an amazing time with you

[11:04 pm] jungkook: feeling okay?

[11:06 pm] you: i’m great!!! more than okay

[11:07 pm] jungkook: 😂

[11:07 pm] jungkook: i’m glad cutie

[11:08 pm] you: lunch on me next time? now that you’ve taken me for dinner :)

[11:08 pm] jungkook: sure, i’m down :)

[11:09 pm] you: i’m rlly tired kookie

[11:10 pm] you: gonna head to sleep now

[11:10 pm] jungkook: alright cutie

[11:11 pm] jungkook: sweet dreams!

｡ﾟ(ﾟ^Ｏ^ﾟ)ﾟ｡ tag list: @giadalin @ggukkieland

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sidespart · 4 years ago

Note

For the fake fic title, if you're still doing it: Why do you hate me? (I honestly don't know where I came up with this lol)

X-Men AU!!! Found Family + Anxceit friendship. TW: child soldiers, child endangerment, abuse etc

(So typical X-men universe set up: some people are born with the X gene, which typically triggers during puberty, giving that person a mutation which normally results in cool powers. Many people hate mutants for their differences (/ bad press of people using their mutant powers for the evilz) and so most mutants live in hiding. The Xavier Institute is a school set up by an extremely powerful mutant which seeks to provide a safe space for young mutants to learn to manage their powers, get a regular education and hopes to see peace between humanity and mutant kind. The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants is a group of mutants who believe humans will never let mutant live in peace and do various anti-human, pro-mutant vaguely terrorist-y actions (there’s like a billion version of the x-men and these details may not be correct for all the versions all of the time because comics but this is the vague idea))

ANYWAY PLOT - Containment breach at the Super Secret Child Soldier Lab (SSCSL) - Subject VII has escaped. Subject VII is only 6-7 years old but his mutations were artificially triggered much younger than is normal. He can warp reality and create very sophisticated illusions, but has very limited control over his powers.

Cut too - Virgil and Dee, a couple of teenage mutants living on the street. They find a little boy with a buzzcut wandering around The Bad Part Of Town and Virgil immediately decides they need to adopt/help him (Dee makes more of a fuss about how this is not their responsibility and the kids barely even talking and do you know how hard I work just to keep you and now you wanna add another mouth to feed?? Huhh?? but obviously does not actually say no) (Dee is like. Barely any older than Virgil he’s just dramatic).

Naturally, just as the three of them have had time to bond, the SSCSL and other assorted bad guys show up to try and take VII back. There’s a big fight, Virgil and Dee have a lot more experience with flight and would probably have ended up dead if the X-men (Patton and Logan) hadn't shown up to save them.

But they lose VII.

Patton and Logan take them back to the Xavier institute to recuperate and offer to let them stay. They can go to school there, get some training and help the X-men track down VII and the whole SSCSL. Virgil says yes, Dee says no.

(So, reasoning - Virgil's mutation developed when he was 12. It was not pleasant. Various students at his school were injured and the media set up a which hunt for the mutant that caused the chaos. Virgil ran away from home because he was worried about the backlash on his family and about hurting anyone else again. So to him, this school full of mutants who can help him control his power, can offer him stability and a return to normal structures and routines, who are promising to help him get in contact with his parents if and when he’s ready?? This is like every fantasy he’s ever had come true

Unlike the other characters, Dee’s primary mutation is physical. He was born with it, its very obvious and its resulted in him being rejected for most of his life. He bounced around increasingly disturbing foster homes before running away when he was very young, so most of his memories are of living on the streets and surviving on his own. So, to him, number one: all adults are inherently untrustworthy idiots and number two: stay at a school? where they expect him to have a curfew? and, what - write essays? follow all their random arbitrary rules? rely on them for food and heat and all that shit? Completely ludicrous.)

It doesn't occur to either of them that the other one isn't going to agree with them. The resulting argument is epic and cruel, both hurling accusations at the other (Ungrateful /controlling are two of the big ones..) and both basically feeling hateful and 100% betrayed. Dee leaves and although they look for him, he’s got a lifetime experience of hiding and they cant find him.

CUT TO - 5 years later. Virgil is a (semi) well adjusted 19 year old junior X-men. He’s still a bit withdrawn, but is very close with Patton and Logan. He’s still holding out hope of finding VII one day and still firmly pretending he’s not listing out for any possible news of Dee (there were rumours some years ago of him joining the brother hood of evil mutants but then it all went quiet) who he, of course, hates for his betrayal.

BUT THEN - mysterious knocking at the door in the night. Dee, now wearing a hat and cape and calling himself Janus, has returned. And he’s brought with him a little boy with a buzzcut and a tattoo of XXII on his foot.

Janus and Virgil need to put aside their resentment and work together to help XXII, who really does not seem interested in helping them, and hopefully use any clues he can give them about the SSCSL to track down VII. But that's difficult when they’re both still struggling with their own trauma and have no idea how to reconnect - both of them want to ask why do you hate me but are a bit too scared of the answer. ...

This already got way to long so mutant power/ extra back story descriptions under cut!

Patton - 22/27 years old. An extremely powerful telepath/empath. It takes him serious concentration and focus to not hear peoples thoughts and its almost impossible to not feel their feelings. Some people dislike him because of this as they feel he's spying on them. Grew up in the Xavier institute and 100% believes in and is committed to the future where humans and mutants live in harmony. Has pretty limited life experience in the real world. Sometimes floats. (inspired by professor X)

Logan - 21/26 years old. Fires destructive laser beams from his eyes. Was in a car accident when he was younger leaving him with permanent but apparently harmless brain damage - until his mutation developed and he slowly realised that no matter how much he trained he just couldn't control his power. Has to wear specialised eye guards at all times to keep himself from accidentally destroying everything around him. Had big plans to go to university and was angry at his mutation for a long time for getting in the way of that. Eventually enrolled online and is now a very dedicated teacher at the Institute. (inspired by cyclops)

Janus - 15(?) / 20(?) His primary mutation is lizard/snake like scales over most of his body, but especially the left side. Has oversized fangs, and yellow eye and a short lizard tail. His secondary mutation makes him immune to almost any sort of mental based mutation (so Logan could still knock him on his ass with his lasers, but Patton cant sense anything form him and Virgil cant whammy him). Spent a lot of his life on his own and got by being sneaky, cunning and charming. Initially took Virgil in because he saw that his powers could be useful for keeping them both safe, but eventually Virgil became his first real friend.

Virgil - 14/19. Shadow manipulation and ‘draining’. Virgil can make himself (and with practice, people he touches) literally disappear into the shadows. He can also direct shadows as powerful energy ‘blasts’, but in order to do so he has to drain any surrounding living things of their energy. When his mutation first developed he took out half of the school hall where his exam was being held, leaving 15 students in a coma. (inspired by rouge/shadow cat)

VII - 6? / 11? Reality warping/illusion powers. One of the institutes first successful subjects. He was able to escape by changing the wall of his cell into a door. He finds it hard to talk but can project his ideas as lifelike illusions who can talk for him. One of his best is the image a handsome grown up Prince and he will often use this Illusion as an avatar to communicate. When he was 6 he did have some hazy memories of outside the SSCSL and expressed a desire to go home. Current status is unknown.

XXI - 7. Illusion powers (reality warping has been removed from the program by his time as subjects proved too difficult to control). Has no memories of outside the institute and is extremely uncooperative with his new captors/guardians. He does not understand the affection they’re trying to show him and lashes out a lot, often by creating a lot of extremely disturbing and graphic illusions. Bites.

#sanders sides #anxceit #virgil sanders #janus sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #fake fic meme #remus sanders #sidespart writes #x men au #giving it its own tag because ive been thinking about this one for a while and might do some more with it.#Anonymous

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wonjeonwrites · 4 years ago

Text

phases | feels like home

“Are these going to become regular outings?” Nami breaks out of her trance as a familiar voice whispers in her ear.

She tears her eyes away from her phone, whipping her head up and meeting the gaze of a smiling Jaemin. Her breath hitches as she notices just how small the space between them was, with Jaemin leaning dangerously close to her face, his arms now resting on either side of her as he effortlessly moves her chair to face him completely.

“What? Cat got your tongue?” He winks, leaning back and standing to his full height.

Nami simply blinks as he walks around to the other side of the table, grabbing the dark-colored Americano and inspecting it, “How many shots?”

“4?” Nami answers, still in a semi-trance, “I don’t really enjoy fueling your caffeine addiction, Jaem.”

“You should call me that more often,” Jaemin smiles, plopping onto the chair positioned across Nami and taking a sip from his coffee, “I like it.”

Nami simply smiles, picking up her latte and taking a sip from the steaming mug.

“How can you drink that stuff? It’s literally blistering hot outside and you’re having a hot latte?”

“Lattes are best hot. Japan had some really good lattes in the winter so I just got into the habit of drinking them hot.”

“Why were you in Japan anyway?” Jaemin asks, leaning both elbows on the tabletop.

“School exchange program,” Nami simply answers, no explanation following.

“But you’re still a freshman right?”

“Yup, my professors thought it’d be a great opportunity since I’m a literature major.”

“Why?”

“Inspiration.” Nami answers, once again leaving a lot to the imagination.

“Chenle was right,” Jaemin starts.

“About?”

“How you’re a mystery. Not a lot of people know who you really are. You’re always on the move and never in one place for too long. Have you ever considered settling down in one place?”

“I do.”

“When?”

“When I find a place that feels like home.”

7. feels like home

“you may not be mine, but i’ll always be yours”

After a semester overseas, Zhong Nami has returned to Seoul where her twin brother, his best friends, and a certain bright-eyed boy, stay. Never one to stay in a city for too long, Nami’s world is turned upside down when she meets Na Jaemin. With a love for running away, will Jaemin convince Nami to stay, or drive her to flee?

☕️ masterlist

taglist: @onefoureightfive @marklexleaf @musicalnewbieme

#nct #nct x reader #jaemin #na jaemin #jaemin smau #jaemin x reader #jaemin imagines #jaemin fluff #jaemin angst

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mephistagain · 4 years ago

Text

Everything, or Nothing At All

Hello good, sweet, kind, wonderful friends who follow Flawed by Design.

Here is an epilogue which will not appear in the actual story, but which I*gleefully embraced and ran, ran so far away*toyed with the idea of at one point a few months ago.

If you’d prefer to wait for me to finish FbD prior to reading any spoilerish content, abort reading now.

John parked the warthog in the usual spot at the edge of the redwoods. He retrieved his pack, slung it over his shoulder, and hauled the camo tarp atop the vehicle so that it didn’t stand out like a sore thumb against the backdrop of the verdant mountainside. Then he turned and started into the forest. The trek generally took him two hours, and while the warthog could handle the terrain for part of the way, he preferred the solitude of travelling on foot.

Briar had also complained on the one occasion he had driven closer that the approach had been about as inconspicuous as he was - which was evidently not very, he’d been given to understand.

The hike gave him time to clear his head of the latest sim test results, the monotony of base life, and the lingering impotency of being involuntarily removed from active duty. He was still a highly functioning tactical asset, so while he understood the decision as it had been explained to him by Brass as a matter of PR, he didn’t like it. Linda didn’t either, but she never complained. Unsurprisingly, Fred and Kelly were transitioning from life in the field with the most ease. They were anticipating instructional appointments as an opportunity to guide and shape the next generation of Spartan-IVs.

Not him.

Pausing, John examined the trunk of one of the towering trees - more specifically the scarred markings some animal’s claws had torn into its bark. She’d informed him when he’d last left that there was a cougar lurking in the area. He continued on, the familiar weight of the M6H2 strapped to his thigh precluding any concerns about crossing paths with the predator. The territorial scorings didn’t appear recent, sap had already wept over the abrasions and hardened, but he still recentred his focus. Which wasn’t easily done as he tallied up just how long it’d been since he’d last left base.

An unfamiliar weight settled in his gut, but he knew it for what it was - guilt. Seven weeks was not inconsiderable. And while it hadn’t been his intention to avoid returning, neither had he sought rec time or leave in order to do so. Hadn’t even given it much thought between the day in, day out routine trials Blue team had been selected to participate in for the Gen3 MJOLNIR platform.

He now had to wonder if that had been subconsciously purposeful because of his conflicted feelings over the pregnancy. Briar had encouraged him to seek the input of Fred, Linda, and Kelly, and yet he’d not done that either. Not even when Fred had noted that he was behaving more introvertedly than was characteristic of him. The reason for that, at least, was logical. As Blue team’s leader, undermining the others’ confidence in him by requisitioning advice on a subject none of them were more likely to have experience with than he did was irrational. Fred and Kelly may be more sociable than he was, but he doubted they were concealing clandestine children out there in the systems somewhere. The thought nearly made him snort, in fact.

The elevation increase and time elapsed since he’d set out from the warthog suggested he was better than halfway there now.

Would she be displeased with him? He hadn’t gotten the sense his initial reaction had caused her to be so. If anything, she’d seemed as uncertain about the development as he’d been. She hadn’t questioned him when he’d prepared to head back to base earlier than planned. Just requested that he speak with his fellow Spartan-IIs.

The issue stemmed from the fact John had never factored children into his future. He’d factored another few decades of service in. But not much beyond that. And now, here he was; forced into semi-retirement for all intents and purposes, and staring fatherhood down the barrel. What that even involved, he couldn’t begin to fathom. His memories of his own childhood were so watered down and repressed that it took a Herculean effort just to recall that he’d possessed one at some distant point in the past. He would have a duty to protect the child, that much was obvious. And provide for it - though with the healthy settlement he’d been saddled with as compensation from the UNSC, there should prove no barrier to that.

What would life for a child born to two Spartans even look like? It had never been explicitly expressed, but there wasn’t a shadow of doubt in his mind they’d never been expected to produce offspring. And while the inquisition into Orion and the subsequent Spartan programs had clued up, and public perception had shifted dramatically in light of its innumerable findings, it still didn’t feel as though society was prepared for Spartans to fully re-integrate. At least, not IIs and IIIs. The IVs had been regular enlisted before being recruited into their program. They’d led normal lives. Had families. No so for his and Briar’s generation. Despite having been stationed there for six months now, Blue team still received a variety of conspicuous reactions from the base’s other personnel as they went about their assigned duties. He ignored them, but the relief of leaving it all behind when he drove past the last checkpoint and the wild landscape opened up before the warthog had been palpable.

The fact he looked forward to Briar’s company wasn’t the enigmatic response it had initially presented as to him any longer. With her, he was just John. And whatever that entailed, she took in stride. No expectations.

He smelled it before he saw it. The copper tang of blood hung heavy in the air as he approached the clearing the cottage occupied on the ridge. Through the foliage, tawny hide could be glimpsed. Brandishing his sidearm, he strained his honed senses for further signs of intrusion as he stalked in towards his quarry. Within twenty metres, John could detect the error in his assessment. The once-predator’s pelt hung from a make-shift frame of pliable branches, stretched out wide in a curious display of victory. So, she’d taken care of the cougar. Bypassing the trophy, he was returning the magnum to its holster when he noted the smear on the doorframe. Briar wasn’t as fastidiously tidy and organized as he was wont to be, but a bloody handprint seemed grisly even for her to disregard cleaning up.

John glanced back to the hide. The dark stain from blood which had pooled beneath it seemed to indicate it’d been hung there for some time. Hours, probably. His attention returned to the smeared handprint. Was it possibly not the result of the animal’s blood, but her own? Had she been injured?

“Briar?” he called not without apprehension as he pushed through the door and inside. Crimson droplets led directly across the rustic floorboards towards the lav. His heart rate kicked up a notch. She hadn’t responded. Dropping the pack with a thud, he stepped over the trail as he strode to the open doorway. No light spilled out, so he wasn’t surprised not to find her within, but the open med kit, mess of bandaging supplies, and blood ringing the sink did alarm him more than he cared to admit. She’d treated herself for whatever wound she’d received, he reasoned with himself. Everything was likely fine.

Noise outside pulled John away from the chaos which had been unleashed in the lav. He re-emerged from the cottage just as Briar was latching the door on the small tool shed he’d insisted they erect during his last visit, to remove the clutter of equipment from the limited space offered in the main living structure.

She looked about as bewildered by his presence as he felt about the scene he’d witnessed upon arrival, but as usual, recovered first. “Could have used your help earlier,” she commented while wiping her dirty hands on her already soiled pants. A combination of blood and grime interrupted their dark green camo patterning.

“With the cougar?” he surmised, having paused just outside the door.

“With burying it.”

That explained the mud, anyway. “Are you alright?” She appeared whole, but the med kit had been rummaged through for a purpose. Her black t-shirt revealed a few shallow lacerations on her arms, but none of them were bandaged.

Briar shrugged, or began to, though the motion was cut short by a grimace. “It got the jump on me, nothing serious.” She lingered by the shed, her gaze having shifted to the hide. “Should have driven it off a while ago.” It didn’t seem a conscious action, but one of her hands drifted briefly to her abdomen before falling back to her side.

It hit him with the sheer, unrestrained force of a NOVA. She’d been in danger - the child she carried, his child, had been in danger - and he hadn’t even known. No matter his uncertainty, the overwhelming and fierce instinct to protect that precious unborn life consumed him with an abruptness he’d never before experienced in his 48 years. He didn’t know what to expect from fatherhood, but the fear of having that opportunity snatched away by variables outside his control was perhaps the realest he’d ever known.

She was eying him pensively as he closed the distance between them. Dark strands of hair had escaped her braid and smudges on her cheek and temple implied she’d probably been pushing the loose locks out of her eyes. He reached up to do so for her now after she’d unsuccessfully attempted to blow them out of her line of sight.

“Are you going to tell me what you’re thinking, or should I stand here waiting like an idiot for you to say something for another ten minutes first?”

“I’m thinking that cougar chose its prey unwisely.”

She rolled her eyes, but they then shot down to where his hand had come to rest over her stomach before she could reply.

“And that I shouldn’t have waited so long to come back,” he supplied with regret. Not only did he now comprehend how cowardly it had been, even if it shamed him to ascribe such a trait to himself, it had nearly cost him more than he’d at first understood.

Briar was regarding him with an unreadable expression. She hadn’t stepped back, but neither did she seem particularly welcoming of his proximity. What must she have thought of him as the weeks had stretched on in his absence? “I knew you would,” she said after some time. “Eventually.” It didn’t sound as though that certainty had reassured her much, it was more of a statement of fact.

“I didn’t speak to the others about it.” She deserved to know he’d disregarded her request along with leaving her out here alone without explanation.

“John-”

“But I’m going to. When I go back.”

“It was just a suggestion-”

“What were the bandages for?” he cut her off, having already made up his mind on the matter. Blue team might not be able to offer parenting advice, but they would give him their honest assessment of the situation. And since the added responsibility could potentially affect his performance as team leader, they needed to be aware of that.

Sighing, she turned around and lifted her shirt to reveal the gauze padding haphazardly taped to her back. Blood had already seeped through several wads, suggesting the wounds they covered were deeper than those on her arms. “I’m going to clean up the shitstorm in there, I just wanted to deal with that asshole before dark,” she said while shooting the pelt a miffed glare and dropping her shirt again.

“So you decided to skin it.”

“Only after it tried to eat me.”

John took her by the arm to gently propel her inside. Fortunately, she didn’t resist. In the lav, he again turned her so that she faced the opposite direction and pulled the t-shirt up and over her head, prompting her to lift her arms in the process. Then he began the painstaking process of peeling the medical tape off, doing so slowly so as not to aggravate the injuries beneath.

All of this, Briar endured cooperatively in silence. Even when he applied the biogel, which he knew from plenty of personal experience, stung owing to its antiseptic component. Once he’d reapplied the bandaging in plush squares, he returned the supplies to the med kit and rinsed out the sink.

She was still standing in the same spot, shirt held in one hand as she faced the shower unit. Her posture didn’t point towards being receptive to physical contact, so he leaned against the doorframe to give her some space.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking… if this isn’t something you want to go through with, I understand.”

The sudden remark set him on edge almost as swiftly as the cougar pelt had. “Explain,” he prompted her when no further information was offered.

“Explain what - that neither one of us would have any clue how to raise a kid?” She was shaking her head and he knew without needing her to say more exactly where her doubts stemmed from. She’d confessed before to having no memory of her parents, and his own were vague impressions in the few flashbacks he’d experienced over the years.

“I want to try.”

When she turned around finally, she was frowning. “It’s not something you ‘try’, John. There are no trial runs. No sims. You can’t fuck it up, you don’t get to reset to alpha position.”

Jaw setting with determination, he pushed away from the doorway. “Then we don’t fail.” They’d been forged with a will to succeed at all costs as ingrained as the fundamental functions of breathing, eating, or sleeping.

“And we’re going to base it off of what? How Mendez treated us? The other drill instructors? AIs?” Briar moved to bypass him, but he prevented her by blocking her path. It wasn’t difficult in the confined space. “I won’t be responsible for screwing some kid up as badly as we were.”

“Some kid?” John repeated, chest tightening at the description of the child even now developing in her womb. He searched her features for some sign she held no attachment whatsoever to the new life they’d inadvertently created. All he saw was diffidence and frustration. This time when she tried to squeeze past, he caged her in against the cabinet the sink was built into, an arm to either side to keep her there. “I see you,” he told her, voice even despite his own inner turmoil. He couldn’t pressure her into a role she wasn’t prepared to undertake. Even if he’d come to the conclusion it was what he wanted. One of the few things he’d ever wanted - not because it was a duty he’d been trained and groomed to carry out, but because it was one he desired the privilege of fulfilling.

Dropping her gaze, she balled up the shirt. Her shoulders rose and fell with shallow breaths, another indication of her state of agitation.

It wasn’t something that came naturally to him, but he brought one hand up to cup her face nonetheless, offering her the comfort he perceived she required in that moment. He still recalled the light and foreign touch of her own fingers upon his cheek in ‘Vadam’s keep. It’d been the first time anyone other than Fred, Kelly, Sam, or Linda had laid a hand on him for a purpose other than addressing an injury, delivering punishment, or examining his MJOLNIR since he’d been conscripted into the Spartan program. She’d advised him not to analyze it, but that’d proven impossible when, from that moment forth, a steadily growing part of him he hadn’t previously known existed had craved that contact. Expressing that hadn’t been something he’d been aware of how to do, or even whether he should do.

“What’s going on in there?” she asked quietly.

Chagrined to have lost focus, his brow furrowed. He ran his thumb over the dirt smudged across her cheekbone, but it didn’t remove the blemish. Neither did it diminish her appeal, however. “Thinking,” he answered. “About you.” About how much had changed for him in the time they’d known each other, none of it anything he could have ever predicted.

She was waiting for him to elaborate, he could tell.

“And about being something other than a Spartan.” Something more. Something he chose. “But only if it’s what you want.”

Her lips grazed his palm as she turned her head. She pressed a kiss there. “I want you.” Rising up onto the balls of her feet, she gripped his shoulders, the t-shirt slipping to the floor. “I want everything. With you. And it scares me, John.” And he could see it in her eyes. That terror. The fear of daring to want something.

Carefully drawing her in close with an arm around the small of her back, which hadn’t sustained any gouges, John held her gaze. “Someone told me being human can be like that.” He was expecting physical repercussions for the cheeky reminder, namely a punch, but gladly obliged when Briar instead tugged on his tags. Lowering his head, he released a pained grunt when her mouth only briefly met his before she captured his lower lip between her teeth.

“Smartass,” she scolded him with relish and then kissed him - properly this time.

#halo fic #flawed by design #john-117 #b312 #spartan badassery #false epilogue

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greenandhazy · 5 years ago

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ppl in the Trobed discord asked if I had more future headcanons for Rickie and Leon (Troy and Abed’s kids from my Nadir-Barnes Canon verse) when they grow up and I was THRILLED because idk if I’m going to write more in that verse (writing too far into the future makes me wary for some reason? like how can I just pretend I have ANY concept of what the 2030s will be like) but YES I HAVE THOUGHTS:

Rickie grows up to be a confident, outgoing person, the life of the party and everyone’s de facto big brother, although he does struggle a bit more with those early traumas and is more self-conscious about identity issues, so that confidence is the result of intermittent therapy and mindfulness

Such as, for example, morning prayer with Abed, which leads to him expressing more of an interest in Islam--sometime in late elementary/early middle school he transfers to a mainstream school that’s close enough for him to walk to a nearby after school program, and eventually formally converts. (Leon doesn’t feel the need for that and Abed doesn’t feel the need to push.) so yeah, another trilingual in the family heyyyyy.

Neither of the kids are fluent in Polish, although they hear it occasionally from Abed around the home.

He likes to dance as a hobby, although not so much modern--he likes jazz and hip-hop, things that are more high-energy. He and Troy have a LOT of spontaneous dance parties around the house. But starting in middle school, spoken word poetry and rap become his real big things and he eventually goes on to have a music career--think early Childish Gambino, Chance the Rapper vibes. (Leon achieves minor TikTok stardom for his ASL covers at one point.) He likes to run them by Troy first, and Troy and Abed are the ultimate hype men.

Abed is always really careful to seek out opportunities to connect with both kids, and they’re both written into Voyage of the Starship Legacy in some way... but it’s Leon’s. He thinks of it like a personal bedtime story that happens to have been made into a feature film, and it’s his comfort rewatch. In general he’s more of a fan of Abed’s stuff because he likes the meta aspects, and while Rickie enjoys them too, that’s not really his style as much, you know?

(I mentioned in one of the fics, Rickie is Abed’s ego-shrinker. If people find out Rickie and Leon are Abed’s kids they’ll be like “omg that’s so cool!” and Leon will be like “haha yeah” awkwardly and Rickie will say “cool? lol right, it’s the nerdiest thing about me.”)

Subsequently, Leon is always really excited when Troy suggests they go sailing. Rickie is enthusiastic in theory but usually gets bored once they’re out on the open sea, so this becomes Troy and Leon’s Thing, especially as he gets older and is less easily entertained by funny voices and faces. He just finds the open ocean very soothing and, yknow, parallels between sailing and space exploration or whatever. He really loves hearing Troy’s stories about his trip.

He’s more of a shy person, especially around people his own age--definitely not an entertainer the way the rest of the family is, and has a bit of a dryer sense of humor. One of his hobbies growing up is drawing, and there’s a running joke in the extended (found) family that someday Abed is going to produce an animated film illustrated by Leon modeled on Troy’s dance troupe with a soundtrack by Rickie. Cut to Leon’s sophomore year of college, when he announces that....... his major is astrophysics and he has a summer internship at NASA

(you can’t prove I was rewatching The Martian when I came up with this) (I just love the idea of Abed’s kids being just as phenomenally successful but one in in a Very different way, also I think the study group’s reaction would be very funny for some reason) (come on guys, he’s been very into space for a long time, this shouldn’t be a surprise, right?

Sometime around middle school, Leon starts not only not putting his hearing aids in, but leaving them at home when he goes out. Troy and Abed always prefer he have them as a backup, and a very common dad joke in their household is “You’d lose your ears if they weren’t attached to your head--oh, wait.” Eventually he admits that yeah, he’s “forgetting” them on purpose, partly because he’s getting tired of Questions and Looks, partly as an act of defiance because he dislikes the expectation that he wants to hear all the time, partly because it makes him feel Some Kind of Way that he doesn’t actually need them--that between his family, his school, his community, and even the cashier at the bodega across the street who taught himself a few signs, he really can get plenty of social interaction and communication just using ASL and he likes that feeling. (Troy is especially touched by that, given that he does not have Abed’s gift for languages and learning ASL took more effort for him.)

They both really enjoy traveling. The family makes semi-regular trips to Arizona and wherever Annie ends up with the FBI, but spend the most time in Colorado--especially in the summers. Gobi is still grumpy but spoils the kids rotten, and they like being the cool older cousins of Jeff and Britta’s kid. the Bennett boys are a little older but Rick and Leon are always trying to convince them to get into Shenanigans, and when they do, they reach a whole new level of shenanigans. Shirley is Tired.

They come back from Colorado with more complimentary Greendale merch than you could ever imagine. the Dean knows they’re not going to go there but..... he can try. Rickie gets his first taste of alcohol from Britta. Leon goes to Annie for girl advice when he gets his first crush because he figures his dads are way too gay to be helpful. Jeff takes them out to play paintball all the time (in like... actual, legit paintball--fields? idek what they’re called) and regales them with tales of Greendale paintball, which they had been 100% sure their dads were exaggerating until Jeff stepped in. They think Chang is putting on a hilarious act for like their entire childhoods and are solely responsible for portions of Chang’s “I Never Die” song becoming a meme among LA schoolchildren.

oh and I don’t have, like, faceclaims for them or anything but I picture Rickie wearing lots of bright colors and being ultimately like an inch or two shorter than his little brother, which offends him deeply, and Leon tends to wear his hair a little longer, like..... Power Rangers-era Eka Darville.

ANYWAY those are the things that have been milling around in my head the last couple of weeks. I have very strong feelings about this children I made up <3 <3 <3

#trobed

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sassaetcie · 4 years ago

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Secret Santa: Ari’s Present

Ortho, Kalim and Jamil meeting each other and having fun even if it not especially located during Christmas fdsklklgkl! I hope it will warm your heart, it’s my first time writing Ortho and Kalim especially :D

Merry Christmas @skyflicker @shiningskiies !!!

I – DEN – T – TY

I. Remember.

My memories. These may be filtered, I reckon. These numbers allow me to be sure, and unsure. Or unsure in the end. Are they filtered? Are they authentic? If there are filtered, I knew it. If there are not, then I may have another filter in the end. Can I be sure that they are not? I should trust Big Brother for sure... I shouldn't worry that much! I can shoot laser beam if something bad were to happen. He made me powerful! He gave me so much power! He even calculated how much I can bear, how many limits I have before breaking down, how much energy I can accumulate and release, how I can fly on a regular basis, gave me legs when I asked him to... Maybe that was selfish to ask him this but... Am I a replacement? Who is Ortho Shroud?

No.

Who is Ortho?

What is Ortho?

I know who are the Shrouds. But Ortho? Is it I? I am Ortho? Ortho is I? Big Brother seems to think I am. Therefore I shouldn't think too much of it... I cannot say that I think, therefore I am... Ortho. Or at least, not for now? Yes! I shouldn't be down for that much. No need to make such a fuss about it!

I shouldn't have written this anyway. This is not the aim of my writing. Why am I writing, anyway? I sure could have recorded. Whatever! I just want to! Probably? So I write! So I am writing! So is this [x] version of "Ortho" writing. Am I the system?

Or is the system... I?

I guess this the "Ghost in the Shell" syndrome? Or something a poet said... "I is another"?

But if humans experience this, I cannot possibly... be that different, can... I? Or perhaps this is a bias of interpretation. I... can make mistakes too.

I shouldn't make a fuss about it! It will make Big Brother unhappy... He doesn't need this! So I went out. I could make a lot of things, after all! Helping people, for example! Going out was done, then. The blue corridor, blue is the corridor. Walking through it, flying through it, is possible. Running is another obvious possibility, of course. It is only an outcome of another. The corridor, the corridor, the corridor. It was the end of it. Jumping, gliding, sliding, coming through the mirror was as easy. Although it may be dangerous if the mirror's magic were to fluctuate, according to Big Brother... I agree, though. It would definitely be dangerous. And if magic were to fluctuate, something even more ominous would be bound to exist, and happen. Therefore, it was a good thing to watch over this place. But the whole school could destroy itself with unstable students... I have to await orders, anyway. Although I'm sure my laser beam could definitely help... The mirror wasn't broken as for now. So our focus should remain the same until something get closer with bad intentions. Where should the destination be, today? People would certainly need help. And if Ignihyde could have a good name without forcing Big Brother to overwork himself... He's doing his best in his way, after all, doesn't he? He definitely does. It must be hard to understand that people can be intelligent in different ways, probably. Humans can forget, humans can learn and make mistakes. But I... haven't become arrogant nor begun to look down on them for their errors... mistakes. Mistakes. Or is it... because... I... cannot? Is it impossible for me to be a bad person? Did Big Brother remade this body? Am I someone? Am I something? Am I someone else? Let us stop there. I... cannot allow any error system to happen. I cannot. I. Yes, I just need to find some people to help, hehe! (Is it truly useful to write "hehe"...?)

A black, white and golden corridor. Black, white and golden are the corridor. Black and white are the stones, the stones are black and white. Surely, this building does not need any renovation. This one. I guess I could help pressuring the headmaster into restoring the Ramshackle dorm... but first I should do easier things. It could be troublesome if I spend my days helping and taking care of great matters... People could think Big Brother really doesn't do anything of his days. But that's not how things are... Will they listen to me, anyway? They could tell me I'm just... programmed to praise him...

Well, if that were to happen, I can threaten to shoot a laser beam to them? For sure! It should work!!! Probably? Anyway. It was time to get back to work! I had reached the end of the first corridor... Well, "first" didn't make any sense. Not that it was meant to be in the first place? How should we understand first, here? The first corridor I walked through? No, that was objectively wrong, even today. So, why first? In this situation, in this separated space? That was a possibility. Actually, very likely to be this one. Since knowing if this was the first corridor built... Oh, it would make sense if it were, though. If the mirrors of the school are the most important thing, either the mirror chamber or this one could have been built first... I should scan this place someday, perhaps. I had walked through another corridor. Yes. I could go backward as well... Even crossing my legs, probably. For they were mine. Mine... My... feet were making some noise. Although. They weren't feet. What were they? Mechanical limbs? Prothesis? How was I supposed to define something like this if the word wasn't known, either by me or the whole world? Picturing it would be so much easier. Language was still useless... telepathy sure was needed in order to reach something else! Were these creepy thoughts? I don't know... I should ask Big Brother when I go back to the dorm! But no matter in what order I use words... Nevermind! I shouldn't think about all these things. I should focus on finding someone to help! Or something to do! The garden was there. And of course, everything minus one thing probably, was there. Or perhaps a half of this one? Then it would still be one... The green was the grass, grass the was green. Green grass was the. "Colorless green ideas sleep furiously", probably... Apples, apples, apples x [x]. All around. No, I should try to enjoy this place, after all! What's the use of asking such questions? Everyone already has! Certainly! Maybe I should ask Big Brother so that I can eat one of these apples... The others look so happy when they take a bite... Sure, I should definitely ask him! He will probably be happy if I start behaving on my own! On... On my own. But I am just... reaching the same aim like this.

If I make him happy by becoming more independent... in the end, it's all and the same.

And if I behave like the simple doll I may be, then I am just a program...

Why? Why? Why? Why?

Even this number was probably programed by some external terror. If I behave like a robot, I will execute Big Brother's orders, and make his life simpler, ultimately resulting in happiness.

If I try to be more independent, and perhaps... recover potential memories? Let's be positive, yes, yes! I must have forgotten! ... This will probably make him happy too.

This is a problem.

Both of them. Lead to the same end.

Ah, why am I even thinking about this! This is far too serious, hihi! The apples look... good, though... I should definitely ask him! Big Brother is so nice and great and amazing and talented and hardworking! He will definitely pout a bit and then allow me to eat! This will be great!!! This? Yes, yes, this. That. would have another meaning. I know a lot of things, hihi! I can help so many people! And I walked again. I could fly above the grass but walking on a soft ground was something else... It was definitely a cool new thing! I have so much to learn, like everyone! Sure, some blade of grass may end up between my feet... But I doubt it will damage or hurt myself! I meddled the green billion of individuals. They were moving next to me, because of me... or was it thanks to me? Would they be angry if I were to pass them by? Flyind didn't allow me to fiddle with them like this! Weren't we playing through reality? Some daisies were among blades of grass. Some Bellis perennis... But I may end up stomping on them, even if I'm careful? No, probably not! I could meddle too, hihi! And if I walk on these flowers, then I'll just need to be more careful next time, like everyone! And the wind was semi-cold, and enough to make my hair move. (Though this is not an important detail, I can allow myself some useless things hihi!) I remember I took a look at the surroundings. Of course the classes were over, so some students and pupils should definitely come by!

-Oh, y... h-hi, Ortho Shroud...

-Howdy, Epel!

-I h-have to go, sorry...

-Awww Ortho!! You're hereee~! You're always so cuteee, lemme take a piccc~!

-Hello, Cater, but why not!

They stopped. He stopped. The uniform looked loose on the pale, smooth, clean, made-up skin. He quickly pulled up his jacket again. Grabbed his orange hair amidst the wind.

-Aww, nevermind... You'd always be okay no matter what I ask, heeeh~?

-That's not true.

-Eeeh, really? Weren't you programmed for some specific reason, like, to make everyone happy?

-No!

-Awww, only Idia?

-Don't insult my Big Brother!!!!! He's not that selfish!!!!!! I know what I can and cannot do, what I want and don't want to do!!!!

-Aww, sorry! I didn't want to upset you, eheh... I apologize, I took the joke too far, didn't I~.

-Oh that was a joke! I'm sorry if I've had an extreme reaction... I'm just tired of hearing everyone say bad thing on Big Bro...

-Well, I'll be leavin' you, see ya~!

Perhaps I should have answered? It was probably impolite not to... But I didn't feel like to? He was right... and he hurt me!!! It wasn't nice at all!!! So I walked away again. Better help nice people, better help people who wouldn't bite the hand feeding them... Although this expression is not that nice either. Should be erased... Will ask Big Brother about it later. I... I will do this! I got this, yes! I can go to Scarabia, Kalim is... nice! So it will be alright and I will stop thinking about all these bad things! I just want to be... frolicsome! I guess!

The first corridor was definitely no more first in most of it meanings, now. Well, maybe not now but... well. And the mirror was still working properly. No shards escaping, no breaking embodying it. No spells invading it. Kalim and Jamil would surely get by soon enough. Flying sure had its advantages... Especially since Kalim could be all over the place or wandering or lolling around or... there are so many options about him! And if I don't spend my time walking nor flying absolutely I would be... If I'm not all in one or the other... No, nevermind! I might miss them if I cloud my head with useless thoughts, hihi! I had crossed my arms. The right beneath the left, the left above the right. Perhaps the left above the right and the right beneath later, if no one had appeared. Maybe I would have done so for my whole life. Neither the right arm nor the left arm could answer me, after all. No matter the order, none was probably favored by any human. Yes, useless thoughts, useless thoughts, shoo! I patted and tapped, tapped, patted, barely rattling. My fingers. On my arms. So did I to my feet. Almost toddling, not toddling anymore yet trudging somehow, pulling some tibia on the silent floor. I thought of jumping too but I wasn't sure if that was allowed or not and I didn't feel like checking since it could take some time if the school rules had been updated... and I could have missed them. Or miss them at all? I clapped my robotic squares of artificial skin. This noise wasn't especially regular. That wasn't a perfect repetition of the same instrument made for someone who was fond of that instrument. So... It was deeply useless. But... If I were to upset Big Bro... Wouldn't that mean I would... have succeeded in being independent? Since all of my acts might lead to his happiness equally... But not all humans act in order to make everyone happy so I would end up being more human? However... However...! To be more human, wouldn't that also bring me closer to Big Brother's lifegoal? That's... that is... those...

-Hey, hi, Orthooo!

-Uuuuh! Kalim! Sorry, I was... thinking about some things! But I'm definitely here to talk with you!

-Oh, is that so? Talking with Kalim, hm? What business might you have with him, though? Especially coming from the Ignihyde Dorm, and perhaps on his command... How strange, mh.

Of course, Jamil Viper would have to be there. It was, after all, the most obvious and potential situation. Some iterations might have had another Scarabia student next to Kalim. Some others might have had 0 student next to Kalim. Some might have had another [dark-skinned] + [Scarabia] student. Or even another [dark-skinned] + [Scarabia] + [long-haired] + [black-haired] student. Nevermind. Jamil was there. From the beginning... Since he could have [appe... Yes, he could have appeared later, and it would have made the whole conversation harder, I think. For Jamil could have barged in full of worries and anxiety and stress and...

-Oh, hihi, I just want to know if I could help you? I feel like helping people today, and Scarabia seems like a very nice place to help people!

-...That was definitely not expected from Ignihyde. Whatever. As long as it's not about food...

-Eeeeh, Ortho? You want to help us?! That's so, so nice!!!

-Kalim, please stop screaming here... Let us go back in Scarabia Dorm already...

-Let's go then, follow us, Ortho!

Well, that was exactly what I had expected. Kalim sure is great to cheer up others. When it comes to Jamil... Well, I expected him in most iterations. He was not a bother... As long as people didn't try to mess up with my system or insult Big Bro, it was okay, really. And Jamil didn't really fit into either of these categories... Probably because he'd rather have us as allies since... I've caused a ruckus during some past events and he seems to... think a lot? For sure he cannot be stupid... Kalim has done a lot of stupid, or at least reckless, things but these things kind of meddle for me, things by the past... and Jamil always has been able to save him somehow. I'm pretty sure he must be good when it comes to observing people and predicting their behaviors... althought it musn't be perfect since he's... no, no, no, I shouldn't be thinking like that! I shouldn't think like that at all! It's useless spiraling down again!

-Hm? I thought you had business with Kalim... yet you glance quite a lot at me, or even watch, if I may say so?

-O-oh, yes, sorry! I was thinking about lowering my body temperature since I don't want to short-circuit because of the temperature in here... I'm not really used to such high temperatures!

-Eeeh, so you can short-circuit? If you really are about to, tell me and I'll make the weather rain!

-...Kalim, you better not... You know what happens when electricity and water mix up, right?

-Oh yeah! Sorry, I wasn't sure if Ortho was made up of electricity or not!

Either way, I would better not experiment this rain he was talking about, so Jamil definitely made a good assumption, even if it were to be a wrong one, or at least untrue one. I didn't need that much to check out for the heat around even though if I were to "overblot" it would certainly worsen the whole thing. And there... Scarabia.

Golden was Scarabia, Scarabia was golden. The sky was blue, blue was the sky. And so, red were some of the cloths, some of the cloths were red, sometimes curtains hanging from some heights. Some heights, some length, some heat, some gold. Golden plates. Silver plates. Ceramic plates. Plates. Golden. Silver. Ceramic, Ceramics. Just materials and fabrics. Expected.

-K-Kalim, please don't already bring the students in your already-pending party?!

Jamil's scream was to be expected in most of the iterations. However, the exact following would have been trickier... Yes, it was great, hihi! Some sounds were already vibing and playing out of nowhere. This "nowhere" I had underestimated, after all. Because it should have been a "nowhere" for me, and not "Scarabia" immediatly. Darbuka... started playing. Along ones I mostly knew of course. But the mixing-up was just... not expected at all. Because it was not stereotyped nor perfectly known. Violin, darbuka. Drum, nays. Kalim dancing was obvious. But all around...

-Hey, Ortho, do you wanna dance before helping? I'll think about how you can help during dancing!

-Oh huh... Sure! Sure, sure! It has been a while since we've last danced, hasn't it?

It probably had been... roughly 44 days and 4 weeks. This number certainly meant something awful and yet... nothing was happening as for now. No omen was loitering around. To be fair... I semi-expected Kalim's question. He was known for his... partying side, after all. If that could be considered a "side" at all... Was that more of a core? A gem? A twig? A branch? Sure it wasn't his "whole". Perhaps a percent? Who knows. Not I by then. Dancing, waltzing, breakdancing, leaping... had been a high possibility since the very moment I had chosen to come and seek help, for them. So, I had to be prepared to dance. I probably didn't since, after all, I... probably saw it as useless, somehow. Which was in itself, useless. Since, what was to be useful, would in the end, be useful in order to bring happiness to someone. Not I. Kalim jumped. Perhaps toward the center of the room. Maybe nowhere. His arms moved to the left. To the right. To the left. To the left. Upward. Upward. To the right. To the right...

-Come on Ortho, let's have fun!!!

-H-how should I move? Like last time? I'm not sure I remember since it was not an automatical process...

My memory might have tossed this aside for data room...

-That's not a problem! Just move the way you want!

-Moving the way I want...? But I'm not a Labovian Celeste like you, Kalim...

-A Labo... I don't know what is that but you'll tell me later, I'm curious! For now, just hmmm... you know... you can dance without a programm nor downloading! So you should be able to do what you want!

-W-what kind of logic is that...!

Jamil's voice and body had become to join the dance, or rather counter-danced on his whole. If Kalim moved to the right, the left belonged to Jamil. The upward belonged to Jamil. Slowness could be Kalim's gift from the world, now.

-Ortho, you can follow one of us, then switch to the other! You will not have to follow either of us this way!

-That's... pretty much true?!

I lifted my arm in order to follow Jamil. Following Kalim would have been the most obvious way to lose any kind of independence, after all. Jamil, Ortho, Kalim. Suddenly, Kalim, Ortho, Jamil. And then... Ortho, Jamil, Kalim. Probably. Predicting their moves in order to cancel them in myself could fail. So... I had to go the other way around. I just had to avoid identical series of number next to each other. Moving twice the right arm, punching once the air, sliding with the left leg once, sliding with the right twice... It didn't have to make sense. Because this party wasn't about all performances nor feigned perfection, which I would not have been able to reach anyway.

Perfection was my domain.

Feigned perfection was that of the humans.

But entertainment could be reached by both of us.

No... I... I leaped through the airs. I spinned round and round. I danced. Probably something was feeling off but. The series of numbers was disappearing. It was, useless, data. This limb could go to the right, this one to the left. Upward, downward. I was going to all of them. The red curtains were flying to the right, to the left, upward, downward. The curtains of purple were of one wing, but of no bird belonging. Dozens of lone, free one wings waltzed along Scarabia, along Kalim, Jamil, I. Golden may have been the things, but the things may have been golden as well. Gold did not imitate the sun. Everything... Each thing. Each...

-Fewww... I'm tired, sorry Ortho, Jamil. I'm hungry and thirsty, now!

-Well, you better be since I had to cook for you once again. But I think I'm going to stop too. Not because I follow you, of course. I do not need you to know when I have to stop for my own health.

-Hey, Ortho, you want to keep on dancing? That's so cool!

I spinned round and round, again. Whether it was again or not? Whatever. It was I. I was I. Probably...

-I'm going to stop now! Can I sit with you all and... serve tea, for example?

-Sure, sure!!! You were here to help, right?! It's so cool that you can keep thinking about this, you're so nice and cool, Ortho!

-Please do serve tea before Kalim wants to. I do not want to see the dorm spending hours trying to erase the stains.

-Jamil, twas years agoooo!!! I know how to do it no~ooow, I even know how to be... aesthetic? When I do it!

-Aesthetic pouring? Oh, I think my Big Bro has shown some of these videos to me! He always thought it was interesting to add little details to characters and thought to make one of his characters do this if he were to create a big game...

-Woaaa... Is that why Idia never go outside?! Because he's busy working on so many little details?!

-Kalim, for fu... oh, fuck. For fuck's sake, be tactful...

-My brother is only living the type of life he wants to live, although I have troubles understanding in what it is a life, exactly...

-Ohhh, I see! Can you pour me some jasmine tea?

Quickly exchanged from the teapot toward the contenant.

-Ouu, that was fast! And not a single drop on the cushions...

-You really are efficient, Ortho. I didn't see you do anything weird while pouring.

-Uuh, thanks Jamil...

-Well, now give me some chamomile tea, if you will.

I poured some tea.

-Hm, hey, O-o...rtho? Can you pour me some tea, too? I'm sorry to ask, you probably don't know me at all...

-No, that's alright, I wanted to help Scarabia's students in the first place, not only the ones with the... highest places!

I held the teapot as high as I could, and poured down. It was perfectly useless. But it was fun.

No...

It was useless... therefore it was fun!

-C—c-c-can I have... tea... too... whatever the tea, the one that is easier to get!

My body, my arms, my hands, poured this liquid as closed to the cup as needed. It wasn't needed anymore, after all. I was the one choosing to make everything now! Hihi!

Jamil gulped down his drink before standing up again, towering over Kalim no matter where his casted shadow could have been.

-Well then, Kalim, I will check the kitchen. Just... in case.

-Oh yeah, yeah! I know, don't worry, you got this Jamil! You're the best!!!

I sat down next to Kalim. I didn't expect that many people to ask me for tea... But I experimented thanks to them.

-So, you have fun so far, Ortho???

-Y-yes, I think so!

Kalim shook his legs while taking a sip of his tea.

-It really looks so, but I wanted to make sure you have! Like, I don't remember seeing you looking so much around... Usually you just stare or whatever, but now! It was so, so cool! And the way you danced, I had never seen it!

-R-really?!

-Yes! It really looked like something invented on the spot! It was so genuine and cute!

I shook one of my leg too.

-It was genuine...? Do you really think so?

-Yes, yes!

My leg stopped shaking. This limb stopped moving like that.

-How can I be genuine when I'm like that... I don't even know if I'm Ortho or... something else, someone else?

-Ohhhh! Don't say that! Of course you're yourself! We're all ourselves!

-Huhhh... This is a bit hard to get, Kalim...

-Well huhhh... I think Jamil would explain better than I but gotta try to help!!! So, you think you're not "yourself"... or that you're not even human... but then, what huuuh... makes us humans, I guess?

-I'm not sure, to be fair... I feel like it's linked to feelings and unpredictability but...

-Well, then... I remember Jamil told me that humans were never entirely focused on others because it was too harsh to entirely return someone's kindness according to the person... or something like that. He scolded me and huuhhh, I don't really recall what he told but... I think it had to do with being selfish and all? He wanted to go on a trip and I told him it was okay but he started talking to me about this?

-About selfishness?! He did? He really did?!

-Y-yeah! He told me that what makes everyone into someone was probably the balance between selfishness and helping... Something like that. I probably forgot most of what he told me, nyehehe!

-Selfishness and helping... Balance... I see... Oh huh, thanks for telling me, Kalim, hihi!

-Nyehehe, you're welcome if it makes sense!

-It does, it does!

Kalim stood again. So did I. Whatever the one who did it first, as for now.

-So it's getting a bit late, shouldn't ya get back to your big bro?

-Weeeell... I think he should do fine... And if he really needs me, he can just call me for once...

-Oh!!! Alright then, come outside, who knows what the sky will look like!!!

Sure this was another instance of the blue sky. If sky could be called sky. All these things... I should leave them aside at least for now. A circle of one usual, basic color closed my world so far.

If the end of the world is but a circle to me, I shouldn't be so afraid... Yet I have been so far!

Stars were nothing but already dead fragments being erased by time.

But now... Maybe this one will disappear.

Perhaps this new "grave" will appear.

All these are technically predictable but... if I do something else, something more interesting in the meanwhile... then it won't be, right?

Why should I even predict this in the first place?

It will probably take more time but... every organism learns at its own pace. Every faltering shining star will change my day. Therefore.

These memories are mine.

Ortho or un-Ortho(dox) in the end.

Hihi.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland fanfiction #kalim al asim #ortho shroud

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