#anyway i guess i'll update here while it's happening and i know it's not everyone's cup of tea so feel free to blacklist 'nano 23'

[jinnybinghamsghost]

i've decided, unwisely, to attempt nanowrimo this year with nothing but a beginning of a plot and vibes.

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | one.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, eventual smut

—word count: 4.2k

—warnings: cussing/mature language, this is gonna start off kinda slow but i promise it'll get spicier lol, say hello to the rest of the professors in this fic ouweeee 🤪, some general bioengineering research terms, very vague mentions of mice research work, more of a glimpse into the yunho x san x iseul dynamic

—a/n: i'm also working on wooyoung's mini series so pls check it out! the next update will prob go up soon! ily <33

"Did you figure out your rotation for this quarter?" You walk alongside Jiung as you head to the Harvey Center, where Professor Choi's lab is located. Both you and Jiung had just finished up walking around campus to get your steps in, but to also check out the classrooms for all your upcoming classes this quarter and pick up books at the bookstore. Most of your classes were in familiar buildings, while two were entirely new. 

"Yeah, I gotta meet with one more professor then I think I can send off my final decision." You nod. Jiung is holding his bag of books and yours, not wanting you to haul them around campus with how heavy they can get.

"That's good."

"Yeah, hope so." He repeats. "Are you meeting with the other professors this week just to see if you wanna rotate in any of them instead?"

"Mhm. All in one week. I guess it makes it easier on me since I don't have to wait on anyone. I can decide by end of the week."

"Are you seeing them in person?"

"Just Professor Choi and Professor Kim. Everyone else said Zoom." Jiung nods.

"Wow, Professor Kim in person?"

"I heard he really values in person meetings." You chuckle. "Which is nice? Maybe it's cause he's the department chair."

"That, too. He just seems like that kinda person, though. He's super active in all the events."

"Truth." 

"Did you like rotating in Professor Bahng's lab last quarter?"

"I did. He was really cool. People in his lab are cool, too. I just.. I don't know? I didn't have a specific project I could focus on. Felt like I'd have trouble fitting myself in there and finding something to work off of. Everyone was great though, don't get me wrong. Just didn't click for me." 

"Makes sense. You wanna be happy and feel like you can thrive somewhere."

"Yeah, exactly. Plus, after talking to Sunwoo and Belle, I think my interests lie more in Professor Choi's lab." You look down at the bags before looking at the Harvey Center ahead of you. "You know you don't have to wait for me, Jiung. You can go to the apartment if you want."

"Nah, I'll wait. I don't have shit to do anyway." You swing the front doors open and Jiung instantly plops down on a free chair near the lobby doors. "I'll be here."

"Shit, I just realized I think his office is downstairs in the basement. I don't know if I have access."

"Where's Sunwoo or Belle?" You quickly pull out your phone and try to dial Sunwoo or Belle to help you. Unlucky for you though, none of them answer.

"I guess they aren't here for the day yet. They didn't pick up." You sigh. "Why didn't I think about this early on?!"

"Relax. It's fine! Poke your head around, I'm sure someone is there to let you in." You pucker your lips in dismay, hoping it doesn't cause any issues and make you late for your meeting. You should've asked for assistance in the first place, but it kinda blew over your head when Professor Choi responded quicker than you expected.

"Welp. Let's hope I don't fuck this up already." Jiung pats your head.

"You won't." You wave to him before heading into the elevators, down to the basement level of the building. It's quiet, and you don't see many people walking around despite it being close to 10am. As you approach the door to the basement, you peek into the window to try and catch a glimpse of anyone passing by in the visible hallway. To your luck, the hallway is dead and there doesn't seem to be any moving heads in any of the nearby lab rooms. You let out a sigh and take out your phone, wondering if you should just email Professor Choi to ask for assistance.

No, maybe someone will pass by in the next 5 minutes.

Give it 5 more minutes, then panic and email.

You tippytoe and peek through the window once more, muttering small curses to yourself for being so unprepared with your meeting. Now, he's probably going to think you can't—

"Y/N?" You turn to see Professor Choi behind you with a soft smile on his face. He's dressed in a grey turtleneck, black slacks and boots— large silver square-shaped frames sitting on the bridge of his nose. He has his hands in his pockets, a heavy leather bag slung on his shoulder. You're surprised he even knows it's you; then again, who else would be peeking into the basement at this time?

"Oh my god, hi—sorry." You pause, slightly embarrassed having Professor Choi catch you looking through the door's window the way you were. "I just realized I didn't have basement access so I was trying to see if anyone was around before bothering you."

"All good. Perfect timing, hm?" He taps his badge against the reader and swings the door open. "After you." You give him a curt bow as a thank you, slowly walking into the basement hallway. San trails behind you, and he takes note of the way you're dressed. You're in some wide-leg white jeans, a cream colored vest and some black platform loafers. It's cute, really. He gives you another toothless smile when you stop in your tracks and wait for him to lead the way. Hopefully, he didn't catch your eyes when you quickly skimmed his outfit again— he was tall and he was well-built, it was very obvious with that turtleneck he had on. He smells of a woody cologne, mixed with notes of jasmine and patchouli. It's not overbearing, but it definitely makes its presence known next to you. "How's your day been?" He asks and you just nod.

"It's been alright. I just went to pick up my books at the book store, explored around campus to make sure I knew where my classes were at. There's a few buildings I haven't had class in."

"That's good. Getting prepared for the quarter well I see." 

"Trying to, at least." He chuckles as he does an abrupt turn to the right and swings a door open. You follow him into another office space, where desks are lined up amongst each other. You find a few people sitting around, typing away on their desktops. It's too bad Sunwoo or Belle wasn't around. You'd probably feel a bit less nervous seeing their faces before the meeting.

"What's up, Professor Choi!" One of his lab members calls out. San does a quick nod and throws up a wave just as he unlocks his office door and steps inside. 

"Come in." He holds the door open for you once again. "Sorry it's a bit messy. I'm all over the place with these progress reports and finalizing class details."

"No worries! Honestly doesn't look messy to me." You look around seeing a stack of papers on his desk. Otherwise, everything is neat. He's got all his awards framed up and lined along the back wall. Books on shelves near his desk. A couch off to the side wall with two small pillows. A small coffee table. A mini fridge. Two chairs for guests at his desk. It's roomy, but not super roomy.

It smells like his cologne.

"Have a seat." He pulls out one of the two chairs directly in front of his desk. You sit and place your bag down on the ground, fixing yourself as Professor Choi sets his bag down and sits at his computer chair. "Gotta apologize again, it's my first meeting of the day so I don't have everything out and ready."

"No need to apologize, I get it." You chuckle and he smiles. 

"Your CV was really impressive." He says as he's pulling up said CV. He's looked at it enough times to have a photographic memory of it, which is the first for him. Right away, he can tell you'd work well in his lab. You have a good head on your shoulders, smart. Can contribute a lot. He just knows sometimes.

"Thank you." You smile and it makes San's smile grow bigger. 

"So, why do you wanna explore those areas? Tell me a little bit more about your experience with everything. Computational analysis, mice, 2P and opto-stim-neural circuit work. All that good stuff." He sits back a bit, his full attention now on you instead of your CV on the screen. You feel your hands get a 'lil clammy the more his eyes focus on you, your lips feeling a 'lil more dry than usual. Shit, he is attractive.

"Sure!" You quickly shake off the nerves and begin to tell him about your experience and interest in bioengineering. It all started when the field was briefly introduced to you in high school, and your curiosity grew to enormous levels when you found a few schools that had the specific undergrad program available. You've talked to a few seniors about their experiences, like Sunwoo, before solidifying your decision to move forward with the major. You tell him how you took a break after graduation to get some more hands-on experiences through two internships and a full-time job, working on in-vitro mice work, computational analysis and building and maintaining 2P microscopes. Then, you realized you really wanted to get back on track and pursue your graduate studies. You tell him about your rotation in Professor Bahng's lab last quarter and how you enjoyed it, but you were having trouble figuring out how you'd fit in the lab. When you talked to Sunwoo a little more about what he's been up to in Professor Choi's lab, your interest in opto-stim peeked, having been Professor Choi's niche. 

It's a nice, easy conversation. You find that Professor Choi isn't as intimidating as you thought. He chimes in with questions every now and then, making it a smooth two-way convo.

"Ah, Professor Bahng? That's my guy right there. Learned lots from him." You chuckle.

"He's brilliant."

"He is, he really, really is." He nods. "But I totally get it, it's good to experience things in order for you to understand what you really want or how to spend your time wisely."

"Exactly." You tilt your head and look at him. "That's pretty much it for me, though. Your work is great. I'm really interested in learning more and diving deep into opto-stim. I know the basics, but haven't gotten a chance to work with it. Sunwoo's project seems to encompass a lot of that, along with the other aspects I've worked with." 

"That's right. His project has been on a roll, same thing with Belle's. I can see you working between the both of them, most of your time with Sunwoo, though. I think you'll fit the best with his, and I can see a lot of potential avenues coming out of it. He's been asking for some help, too." He chuckles. "Why don't you talk to Sunwoo and Belle a little more? Then all four of us can meet in the next couple of days to finalize project ideas and details. Should be good to start the rotation afterwards if it all goes smoothly." Your eyes light up.

"Really? I-I mean, yes. I'll do that."

"Mhm. Let me know when you're ready? Just send me an another email."

"Thank you, Professor Choi." He smiles at you.

"You're very welcome. Do you have any other questions?" You look at him, head tilting out of curiosity.

"Um, not for the project. It's something more personal, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Go for it." He leans back again and rests his clasped hands on his lap.

"Why did you pursue this field?" San is having to pause because out of all the times he's met with students, people [besides formal interviews], no one has asked him that question. No one has asked him directly— people like to assume they know him because his name is out there, but not once has anyone asked about his experience.

"Hm." He hums. "It's probably gonna sound a little cliché and everything, so don't judge me." You giggle and shake your head. "It just felt like my calling? Kinda like you." When he smiles, you find yourself captivated by his dimples. They make everything about his smile so captivating and so, so charming. "I think you might know this already, but my dad was a biology professor. He always told me to challenge myself and think outside the box, and I think the early exposure to his career definitely shaped my path. He'd share his knowledge with me and try to ask me tricky questions. Make me think about what's around me, how things can be improved. Better understood. Then, I learned about bioengineering and tried to better understand it. Open new avenues for things that haven't been studied well yet. Just took lots of risks and tried things out. Failed lots of times before getting the hang of things."

"That's amazing. Your parents must be really proud."

"I hope so." He laughs. "Thanks for asking."

"Oh, no. Thank you. I wasn't sure if I overstepped with that question."

"What? No way. You're actually the first to ask and I appreciate that."

"Oh?" Is all you manage to get out, confused as to why he would say that. Has no tried to ask about him or get to know him a little better? Maybe it was just you, but you definitely thought building good, personal connections would bring more advantages than not— first and foremost, bringing comfort and ease, especially to any new environment. Who would wanna work in an awkward, tense setting?

"I mean it." San laughs. "I appreciate it. It's nice when people take a second to view me as a human and not a robot who is constantly churning work." 

"Course." The both of you maintain eye contact for a bit and it makes you feel so, so nervous that he's just looking at you. And he kinda is just looking at you. Observing you. He finds himself admiring your look once more; the hair, your smile, your nails. Cute. He knows he shouldn't, but truthfully, he can't really help himself when a beautiful woman is in front of him in general. He is a man, and a man who enjoys eye candy. "Anyway, I know you're probably booked and busy today, so let me get going."

"You're okay. I don't have anything until the next 30 mins, don't feel the need to rush."

"No, it's okay. I should totally let you be." You stand and smile at him as you sling the strap on your shoulder and tuck your bag close. "Thank you again, Professor Choi. I'm excited for what's to come."

"Me too. It'll be great, I know it." He stands, hands in his pockets as he follows you towards the door.

"Thanks." You turn to look at him, and he's not too far from you. "See you soon.. over Zoom?" You assume that since the basics and introductions are out of the way, it'll probably be more convenient for Professor Choi to do a Zoom meeting. Lo and behold, he surprises you with a: 

"In person would be nice." He smirks a bit. He does enjoy his in person meetings; they're more productive that way.

"Are you sure? I don't wanna waste your time."

"Never." He shrugs a bit. "I mean it. It's always better to talk in person, anyway." 

"I agree." You smile at him once more, hand on his door handle. "See you soon."

"Have a good one, Y/N. Feel free to email me if anything comes up."

"Appreciate it." You give him one last look before you swing the door open and find Sunwoo just about to settle down at his desk.

"Y/N! Professor Choi! Assuming it went well and I'll get the help I've been begging for?" San laughs.

"Yeah. I asked Y/N to talk to you and Belle about potential projects and to email me once she's ready so we can all meet and finalize details."

"Good with me." 

"Good with me, too." San gives you both a small, toothless smile before walking back into his office. "So, how'd it really go?"

"Good." You approach Sunwoo's desk. "He's not as intimidating as I thought. Kinda. Really laid back, though."

"Yeah, he's super chill and easy going. Super supportive. You'll enjoy it here." He waves his phone. "Sorry I missed your call earlier."

"I forgot I didn't have access into the basement."

"How'd you get in?"

"Professor Choi saw me peeking through the basement door window." Sunwoo snorts.

"Amazing first impression." You playfully pinch his bicep.

"Hate you." You pout. "I'm nervous."

"For what, dude?" He laughs. "I promise you, it's not that bad at all. As long as you put in the work and do what you need to do, everything will play out fine."

"What if I don't get into the lab post-rotation?"

"Don't say that." Sunwoo smiles. "You'll be good. Promise. You're smart and hardworking."

"We'll see. Maybe you'll realize how much of a pain in the ass I am when we work together."

"True." You glare at him and he laughs. "Kidding. Ready for classes to start soon?"

"No."

"That's the spirit." You chuckle. "Anyway, let me know when you're free this week. We can walk around the lab while we talk about projects. Belle is usually here around the same time I am so I'm sure we can grab her whenever." You nod. At this point, Chris and Yeosang walk into the room, the two in good spirits and engaging in lively conversation right before knocking on San's door. 

"Okay. I'll text you later, then. I gotta get back to Jiung, I left him upstairs."

"I saw." He chuckles and salutes just as he diverts his attention to the data on his desktop computer.

"Hi Professor Bahng, Professor Kang." You smile at them in passing and they nod in response.

"Hey Y/N! Nice to see you around these parts." Professor Bahng says with that usual happy tone of his. Professor Kang is a little more shy, but never fails to acknowledge you with a smile or soft 'hello.' Chris presses his ear to the door before laughing and swinging the door open, greeting San as casually as they can before the door shuts.

"Whattup!" Chris plops onto San's couch while Yeosang takes the other end.

"Nothing much. Just finished my meeting with the rotation student. You know her, actually."

"Oh, Y/N? Yeah! She's crazy smart. Think she'll do some good work in your lab." San nods.

"So, what's the plan you wanted to talk about?"

"I need to start planning the symposium for one of the grants. It needs to happen within the next month. Was hoping you can help us, give us a few tips? Maybe do a talk?"

"Where are you planning to do it?"

"Right next door at the Acacia Center, was hoping one of the huge conference rooms would be open."

"Probably the best place to do it because they can cater for the event, too."

"Who else can we recruit to do a talk, though?" Yeosang sits back and lets out a sigh. "Jongho?"

"Try seeing if Namjoon is free, that'll definitely draw some people." They all laugh in unison knowing Namjoon's power. "And make sure you do the whole email blast with flyers everywhere. Let people pass it along."

"Yeah, okay. But, also, don't hate me." Christopher looks at San with an awkward smile. San knows though, he knows very well what he's hinting at.

"We've already talked about this. I don't care."

"I know, but still. You're one of my good friends and I'd hate to put you in an uncomfortable position."

"Well, Yunho is always gonna be there and I don't expect things to change. We're always gonna have to work together despite what happened."

"I don't know how you do it, I'm sorry." Yeosang says, slightly shaking his head as he sinks into the couch a little more. 

"I agree. You're strong, man."

"I have no choice." San laughs. "Besides, I stopped letting that consume me a long time ago. It's none of my concern anymore. As long as I can get my shit done without issues and minimal contact, I couldn't care less."

"That's real, honestly." Chris lets out a breath. "Well, I'm gonna ask him to do a talk."

"Go for it. Will probably be good for the grant, too." San sighs. He meant it when he said he stopped letting the entire thing consume him a long time ago. And he does have to interact with Yunho whether he likes it or not; it's not like he's gonna give everything up just because he can't stand some petty drama from the past. Besides, he promised Namjoon he was okay. He promised he wouldn't cause issues even though Namjoon didn't expect any. But, it did hurt. He's not gonna lie— there are days when he still questions everything and he wonders why things unfolded the way it did. 

He just knows better now, and can actually brush it off without it affecting his mood, his surroundings.

"I gotta keep going through my list of people."

"I can ask around, too." San says. "Do you want me to see if the big conference room is free?"

"Yeah, please?" Chris laughs. "They give you everything."

"No, they don't." San rolls his eyes with a chuckle. 

"Damn near." Yeosang adds.

"Any of your lab members wanna do a poster presentation?"

"Uh." San shuts his eyes in thought for a second. "Let me ask, I think Yoon might have some good data to present."

"Okay, let me know." San nods. "You guys free for lunch later?"

"12:30, maybe?" Yeosang stands and looks at his watch. "I gotta get to my next round of meetings 'till then."

"Same. Text me where to meet?" Chris stands and nods before throwing up the peace sign.

"Will do. Thanks for the tips and for looking into the room."

"I'll let you know what they say." Both Christopher and Yeosang nod just as they walk out of his office and leave him to his peace. He makes a note to send an email after his next meeting about the room and catering, knowing how hard it can be to reserve a room within a month's time frame at this campus. He'll do what he can to help Chris, though— that's one of his good friends and somebody who didn't turn their back on him after everything that's happened. Even Yeosang, Mingi, Jongho. Namjoon. Of course, everyone works great together. Everyone is civil when they need to be. But San knows if he ever needed them, they'd be there for him in a heartbeat. 

They'd be the people he could turn to without question.

When it comes time for lunch, San is barely getting out of his meeting at 12:30pm. He finds Chris, Yeosang and Mingi at the café right across the way from the Harvey Center, falling in line with them just as it grows during the lunch hour rush. They grab their food and plop down at a shaded table off to the side, greeting a few familiar faces and passing students.

"What's up?" Yunho passes, nodding at the table and giving Chris' shoulder a quick massage. Iseul follows behind, not paying the group any mind. Yeosang, Mingi and Chris share their own 'hello's,' while Yunho and San continue to play the silent treatment with each other. Yes, San will work with Yunho if he needs to. He'll be civil, he'll act like nothing ever happened. He'll act like their relationship wasn't severed after everything that went down. But, if he's out here minding his business, eating lunch with friends— he'd rather not bump into Yunho and Iseul and make any small talk. Simply just cause. He's done a lot of work to get past that and he doesn't want anything to do it with anymore.

"Anyway." Mingi says, making Chris snort.

"Anyway. Ya'll trying to hit the gym sometime tomorrow?"

"I'm down." San says, scrolling through his phone. He'll scratch some time out of his evening to hit the gym since it's been a few days  since his last gym session. At least, he plans to finalize his class schedule before end of the day today— he'll have a little more breathing room once he submits that to the department.

"No way, you're not serious!" Your voice echoes as you exit the café, laughing along with Jiung and Felix over Felix's random encounter that he was giving you details about. San diverts his attention to your group, recognizing the outfit, the voice. He sips on his drink and continues to watch the smile on your face build, the animated hand gestures you use, the way you so attentively listen to every word your friends are telling you. Oddly enough, he finds that seeing you is a good distraction. He feels a little more relaxed post-5 second Yunho and Iseul encounter, a small subtle smile creeping up on his lips when he sees you throw your head back in laughter. It's soothing.

That's probably the moment he realizes you are enticing.

And to be honest, he's not understanding why he feels a certain pull to you; it's so uncommon and so, so foreign, to him. He doesn't even think he felt this way when he first started dating Iseul. Don't get him wrong— he did love her, he did feel the usual giddiness, the honeymoon phase, all of the above. Everything progressed as naturally as it could with that time. 

But with you, he's finding a certain itch. He's not sure how to relieve himself, especially when he knows he shouldn't. He can't. 

It'll be trouble having you around, he's very aware of that. It'll be a test for him, the boundaries he creates to make sure you both don't cross that line.

He can't.

Still doesn't mean he won't.

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom

[mentally-a-slut]

Three Days (Arthur Morgan x Fem! Reader) (SMUT)

Anddddd here we are! Part two of 'Staring Problem'! This can be read as a stand alone, but if you want a suggestive lead up, then go read part one! I tried my best with this one, but I haven't written explicit smut like this in a long time, so go easy on me! Writing this also reminded me that I loathe writing in second person, so from here on out I think I'll either do first or third. I won't bore you with details here, but I'll put up a separate post updating y'all on some stuff. Anyway, enjoy, and please leave feedback! Silent readers are appreciated but leaving comments helps me get motivated to continue! Even just a one word comment or an emoji helps! - Azi >:)

Summary: Arthur's been gone on a job for three days, which isn't a new development. However, a new development in your relationship just before he left leave you wanting. But fear not, as your troubles will be soon solved!

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: unprotected PinV sex, smut, oral (f receiving), overall filth, reader is female, unedited (sorry), probably OOC Arthur but we're here for dick not character analysis!

You had always hated when Arthur went away on jobs, but ever since he left you hanging, your distaste for his long absences had grown.

You hadn't seen the man in three days, only getting a parting kiss and a heavy, heated promise as a farewell. The first day he was gone, you were mostly in awe of what had happened, wistfully going about your day and daydreaming of things to come.

The second day left you a little frustrated, the ache for him only growing with his absence. The other girls had noticed too, only making you more irritable as they teased you relentlessly for your obvious attitude change.

The third day was when you started to get worried. He'd been gone on longer jobs than this before, but you still couldn't help the nervous bouncing of your leg as you sat across from Tilly, trying to busy yourself with patching up some clothes.

"I'm sure he's fine. He's been gone much longer than this before."

Your lips contorted into a line, eyebrows knitted as you shook off the pain of the needle piercing the soft pad of your thumb. "I know. Just miss him, I guess."

Tilly just smiled and let you work in silence alongside her.

Arthur had gone to rob some stagecoach close to Emerald Ranch, along with Javier and Micah. You trusted Javier to help bring him back safely, but the addition of Micah made you nervous. He had a reputation of losing his cool and endangering the lives of everyone in a five mile radius.

Abigail had been very helpful the last couple of days. She understood every minor shift in your demeanor in the time he was gone. John was no stranger to long jobs, so Abigail knew exactly how it felt to sit idle while the men were out in danger.

John tried to be helpful, saying things about how Arthur had been bled half to death before and still made it back alive, but that only made things worse. You appreciated the effort, though.

It was getting close to evening now, the light of the sun slowly disappearing behind the horizon. You tried not to feel disappointed, knowing that if they were on the way back, they would likely stop and make camp for another night before arriving. Riding at night was never good unless they were on the way to a job. Riding back during the day was safer, and helped them keep an eye out for any witnesses or general hinderances along the way.

Just as you were about to resign yourself to your lonely bedroll for the night, the sound of rumbling hooves shook the ground under your feet.

You whipped your head around to see three healthy horses slowing to a walk near the hitch posts, each one carrying an upright, unharmed figure. You silently cursed the fact that Micah had made it back alive, but figured it was too much to hope that you'd get Arthur back and get rid of Micah in one day.

You didn't care what it looked like to the others, throwing all cares out as you rushed over to greet the man that had been haunting your thoughts for the last three days. He was just finishing up tying his big black shire to the post, taking the weight off his horse for the night, when you tackled him into a hug.

He stumbled slightly, your arms wrapping tightly around his waist as he snaked an arm around yours to steady himself. His breath tickled the top of your head as he chuckled. "Miss me?"

You scoffed and pulled your head from his chest, still gripping the sides of his jacket as you looked up at him. "You were gone three days!"

He smiled down at you and pulled you back against him, settling his other hand to cradle your head against his chest. "I missed you too, sweetheart."

All of a sudden, he withdrew, his eyes landing on the man a few feet away that was tending to his horse. "Javier!"

He turned. "Yeah, Arthur?"

"Tell Dutch me and my lady are goin' on a little vacation for a while, will ya?"

Javier nodded with a smirk, and you shrieked as Arthur lifted you onto his horse without warning. He followed shortly after, kicking his horse into a fast walk as a few wolf whistles resounded from camp.

You held onto his waist tightly as he sped up. "Where are we goin'?"

"Just into town."

"What are we gonna do there so late at night?"

You felt more than heard his responding chuckle. "Get a room."

"Oh. Oh."

The excitement that tingled through your body was electric, buzzing the whole ride there.

~~~~~~

You would have flustered at the knowing look on the hotel receptionist's face if you had been at all aware of anything but Arthur.

Arthur thanked the man before leading you up the stairs to the room, his large hand gripping yours the whole way there. You expected him to jump straight into action the second the door closed behind you, but instead his strong arms pulled you into a hug.

His arms encircled you and pressed you against him as he nestled his face into your neck. The vibration of his words against your neck sent sparks through your body straight to your core. "Thought about you the whole time."

You sighed into him, holding onto his as if he would disintegrate upon letting go. He only pulled back to gently tilt your chin up, pressing a sweet kiss against your lips.

The kiss was so soft, so filled with emotion, his fingers brushing lovingly across your cheek as your lips molded together. You were the one to lean into it, chapped lips parting and teeth nipping lightly at him.

The responding noise from him fueled your desire more, the desperate groan making your whole body ache for his touch. His hands moved from your waist to your hips, fingers bunching up in the fabric of your shirt as he fought your tongue with his.

When his rough fingers brushed against the bare skin of your waist, you whined into the kiss, arching into him. He chuckled against your lips, brushing his hands even further up your shirt and coming to a stop just under your tits.

You broke the kiss just for a moment to lift your shirt over your head, discarding it wildly behind you. You yelped as he lifted you and spun you around, walking you backwards towards the bed. You tugged him down on top of you, slipping a hand under his shirt to feel to ripples of muscle on his chest and stomach.

"Arthur," you whined, tugging at his shirt. He got the hint, discarding his shirt before meeting your lips again. His kiss was rougher this time, wet and messy as he took in the feeling of your body against his. You brought your legs up to circle around his waist, and you whimpered when he pressed his hips forward against yours, his hardened cock straining against his pants.

You tangled your hands in his hair, tugging lightly. He squeezed your hips in response, kissing down your neck and nipping at the skin on your chest.

His hands snaked around your back, undoing your bra without even pausing. He broke the kiss only when he pulled the straps down, revealing your chest to the open air. Your first instinct was to cover yourself, but he didn't even give you the chance.

You didn't have the brain capacity to be embarrassed at the sound that came out of you when he took a nipple into his mouth, gripping the other with his large hand. He groaned against you, his erection brushing against you. He was growing harder by the second, the mere sight of you arousing him intensely.

His unoccupied hand stroked down your stomach, slipping two fingers in the waistband of your pants. You nodded and begged desperately, writhing against him. "Please! Please, Arthur..."

He moved his lips to your other nipple, quickly unbuttoning your pants and ridding you of both them and your panties in one movement. His lips separated from your chest as he moved up to you, staring into your eyes with intense lust. "I'm gonna get you ready, baby, that okay?"

Your heart swelled with emotion, only intensifying your desire. Even when he was desperate with lust, he looks at you with such caring, always making sure your okay. "Yes, yes, please!"

He smiled at you before kissing you sweetly, slowly kissing down your body. You whined as his hot breath brushed your core, your head tilting up to look at him between your legs.

His eyes glittered with amusement as they met yours, a teasing finger brushing your inner thigh. It was so close to where you needed it, but so far. "You're a tease."

He chuckled, "Can't help it when you look so pretty beggin' for me."

You threw your head back and groaned, half in frustration and half in arousal. Your noise quickly shifted to a whine when he suddenly slid a finger across you folds, head fuzzy with pleasure. "So wet already. All for me, sweetheart?"

You groaned and nodded, hips shifting towards him in an attempt to get him to do it again. "Ah, use your words."

Your words were half whimpered. "Yes! All for you, only for you, please!"

"Good girl."

He swiped his finger through your folds again, this time teasing his fingertip around your aching entrance. You bucked against him when his thumb brushed against your clit, breathing coming out in short, whiny sighs. "Please."

"Whatever you say, baby."

You moaned as a finger slid into you, his thumb pressing harder against your clit. Before you could complain at the lose of stimulation when he removed his thumb, his lips connected and sucked harshly. Your moans were surely loud enough to be heard, but the pleasure that wracked your body was so overwhelming you couldn't bring yourself to care.

His finger slowly moved in and out, brushing against your sensitive walls as his tongue assaulted your clit. You tangled a hand in his hair, tugging harder than you intended. He groaned against you, making a jolt of pleasure shoot through you.

The stretch of another finger was added, making you cry out. It wasn't enough to be painful, just enough to make you stretch around him so deliciously. He pulled his lips off of you and looked down at you, eyes hungrily watching as your cunt swallowed up his fingers. You looked down at him, lips parted with pleasure as he worked his fingers inside you. "More."

He glanced up at you with a smirk, slipping in a third finger. It sent a small jolt of discomfort through you, but it was quickly overwhelmed with pleasure as the third finger pressed against the most sensitive parts of your walls. "Oh, fuck, Arthur!"

"Feel good, huh?"

"Yes! Please, please, I'm gonna cum!"

He sped up, his fingers pumping in and out of your relentlessly. He leaned back in to swirl his tongue against your clit, which made you walls start spasming around him. Your thighs tensed, threatening to close around him, but he pulled back and held your legs open.

"Go on, baby, I wanna see your pretty face when you cum."

You couldn't form any words as his fingertips curled inside you and prodded against you in a way that made you see stars. His encouraging words only pushed you closer and closer.

"Good girl, doin' so good for me." You moaned and clenched around his fingers, muscles spasming as the dam broke. Your eyes rolled back into your head as you came, short, whiny moans escaping your lips as he fingered you through it.

With a gentle kiss against your clit that made you twitch, he pulled his fingers out of you and rose to look at you. You forced your eyes open, smiling breathlessly up at him. "You okay?"

You couldn't help but laugh, pulling him in for a passionate kiss. "More than okay. That was amazing."

He smiled and kissed you again, slow and loving. You knew you could tell him you were done for the night and he would agree in a heartbeat, not even caring about his own unresolved desires. But his sweet kiss only fueled another spark, already tingling through your body. His moaned against your lips as you arched against him, legs moving to wrap around his waist and pull him against you.

He pulled away with a raised eyebrow. "You're a needy one, aren't you?"

"Only for you."

You pulled him back down, kissing him roughly and pressing your hands all over his bare skin. His hips bucked forward when you tugged at his waistband, his desperation shining through even when he tried to stifle it.

You pushed him back, catching him off guard and shoving him onto the bed. He chuckled and shifted further back, letting you swing your leg across his hips and straddle him. You leaned down to kiss down his neck, smiling at the soft murmurs of content as you nipped at his collarbone.

You reached between the two of you, unbuttoning his jeans and shoving them down. He helped you and kicked them the rest of the way off, leaving him in only his boxers. You stared down at the bulge that strained against the white fabric, a wet spot of pre cum soaking a part of it. You looked down at him with a proud smile. "I do that to you?"

His hands slid up your thighs and caressed you hips. "You do so much to me. More than you could ever imagine."

You leaned down to kiss him, pouring all your emotions of admiration and lust into it. His hands moved to your ass, squeezing as he groaned against your lips. Your hips pressed down against his. sending a shock of pleasure through you as your clit brushed against his clothed bulge.

He would have been content to kiss you like that forever, but you were growing more and more desperate with each touch. You slid your fingers into his boxers without breaking the kiss, gently stroking his cock. His reaction spurred you on, and you pushed his boxer down to release him.

You marveled at his size as he helped you discard his underwear, leaving him fully bare underneath you. He was thick, and longer than anyone else you'd ever had. Your hand continued to slowly stroke up and down his shaft, thumb smearing the beads of precum around him. You were transfixed on him, lost in the feeling of his soft skin against your palm.

"Fuck, baby, as pretty as you look doin' that, I don't wanna cum just yet."

You slowed your movements to a stop and looked up at him with a soft smile. The admiration you felt for the man beneath you was overwhelming, and you didn't know if you could ever truly explain to him how much he meant to you.

You slowly moved to kiss him again, soft and sweet. You let your hips relax against his, smirking as his hips shifted under you to gain friction. You moved your hips against his shaft, your cunt dragging against him. You continued grinding on him, breathing growing heavier as the tip of his cock teased at your entrance with each movement.

After a few more seconds of torturing him, you lifted your hips and gripped his cock, prodding him against you entrance. Before you moved, you pulled away from his kiss, sitting up and placing a hand on his chest for balance. He groaned as he looked up at you, poised above his cock, cunt dripping with anticipation.

Emotion shone in his eyes, gaze still so loving even when clouded with lust. With a sigh, you lowered yourself slightly, taking his tip inside. You knew it was going to be a stretch, so you had to restrain yourself and take it slow.

He groaned at the sight of your cunt swallowing him, even just the tip of him. You held his gaze as you lowered another two inches, fingers gripping his chest at the slight stretch. Soon, his hands gripped your hips tightly as he helped you sink down all the way, clit brushing against him as you were finally fully seated against his pelvis.

Your eyes were dark with lust, cunt clenching around his cock as you adjusted. His eyes flickered over you, rapidly moving between your joined bodies, your heaving chest, and your face. "So perfect. Take me so well."

His words spurred you to move, lifting your hips slightly and moaning sweetly as you sank back down. The pain of the stretch had completely disappeared, replaced with a blinding pleasure. You rolled your hips a few more times before rising further, speeding up.

His hands held your hips tightly, his thighs tensing as he tried to hold himself back. "Fuck, sweetheart, look at you. Swallowing me up like that."

His words only increased your desire, your hips rising and falling faster, legs lifting you further off his cock. His moaned as he stuttered out praises, hands tightening on your hips as you rose fully off him and slammed back down again. Your pace increased, his length filling you up perfectly and brushing against the sensitive spots within you.

You struggled to hold yourself as you got closer and closer, pace faltering. You whined, every breath coming out as a soft moan. "You're doin' so good baby, want me to take over?"

You managed a messy nod, and his hips immediately rose up to meet yours, hands moving your hips up and down on him. You threw your head back as your cunt spasmed, orgasm coming down hard and fast. "I'm- fuck! Gonna cum!"

"Go 'head baby, I've got you."

With his words, you moaned with your release, his cock still pounding into you as you rode it out. Your senses were fuzzy, everything covered in a blanket of pleasure. You didn't even realize he had flipped you over, your head against the soft pillow. As your vision cleared, you looked up at him, blissful smile on your face.

"You did so good, honey, think you can gimme another?"

You nodded blearily, spreading your legs further as he continued thrusting into at a ruthless pace. You were building up to another one fast, barely even recovered from your previous one. His hand rested against your throat, grounding you but not squeezing. "So gorgeous, my pretty girl. Look so good stuffed full of my cock."

You moaned pathetically, hands going up to hold his face and grip his hair. "You feel so good, Arthur, I- I love how you make me feel."

He groaned in response, slamming into your cunt even faster. "So tight for me, gonna make me cum. Where d'ya want me?" He struggled to get the question out, his voice stammering through moans.

"Inside. Fill me up, Arthur."

His hand tightened around your throat for a moment at your words, and he moaned loudly. "Fuck, you're gonna kill me."

His movements grew sloppier, fingers pressing against your throat as he pressed his lips to yours in a messy kiss. With a few more thrusts, your own orgasm came to a head, only slightly preceding his.

His groaned against your lips and your walls clenched around him, his cum painting your insides as you milked him. He fucked you through it, kiss growing softer as he slowed to a stop. He stilled inside you, pulling back to look in your eyes.

You looked back at him, lips curled into a soft smile as he rested his forehead against yours. He pulled out carefully, planting a sweet kiss on your lips to distract you from any discomfort.

He shifted to lay next to you, turning his head to look at you. "You okay?"

You smiled and looked at him. "With you? Always."

[annaraebananawriter]

(Request) I Bet You Were the Best Brother

It's been a while since I posted a oneshot, so I hope this 5k one manages to make up for that.

As I've mentioned before, been going through a bit of a writer's block that is finally going away. Some it still lingers, but it is infinitely better. Feels like I can breathe again. So, everyone reading this that struggles with writer's block at the moment--know that it will go away. You will be able to write again. It's not a matter of if, only when. You will be able to write again.

Anyway, I don't have any other major life updates for you, so I guess I'll let you start reading now. Happy reading! Let me know what you thought!!

Fandom: Undertale/UTMV

Characters: Dream and Nightmare (Who belong to Joku)

Warnings: A character losing their memory and swearing and I think that’s it. Let me know!

Summary: Ilike_cringe (Fri 14 Oct 2022): "here is a request :>. Could you make it that nightmare might have hit dream tooo hard in a fight that (bear with me ) Dream lost his memory ( if you could could you add more spice \^o^/)"

Word Count: 5395

~oOo~

Nightmare wanted there to be a note that the fight started off normal.

His gang showed up, causing some ruckus. He hung out in the background observing, soaking in the new misery like a sponge, keeping an eye out for the tell-tale sign that the Star Sanses had shown up. In today’s case, that ended up being an arrow flying at one of his boys, which barely got dodged, the blue glow disappearing as it left eyesight. Grinning, he had taken it as his cue to join in, grabbing Dream by the ankles as he notched another one, and throwing him across the space.

Not too hard, of course. He didn’t want his brother out of commission quite yet. That was always the fun part about the fight, seeing him defeated. It needs to be drawn out a bit, though, for it to be really satisfying.

Dream recovered from the toss quickly, though he was soaked head to toe—he had unintentionally tossed him into the river. Whoops. The annoyed look on his brother’s face made his grin widen even more. They quickly fell into their routine after that, trading blows and insults, slowly moving away from the others. Another toss had them entering the woods, which resulted in a lot of fallen trees, a clear indicator of where they’d gone.

A cliff came into view, with Dream’s back to it. Nightmare didn’t take much note of it at the time, too preoccupied—his brother had just gotten a pretty bad hit to the back of his skull, making him stumble. Pausing for a minute, he gave him some time to get his bearings back before attacking again, pushing him closer to the cliff edge.

So…technically, this whole thing could be considered his fault, but how was he supposed to know what would happen?

The cliff seemed perfectly safe in the normal dangerous way!

This means the fight was going great until the cliff crumbled under Dream’s feet, making him shriek, eyes widening, his bow dispersing as he pinwheeled backward. Nightmare froze, staring at the now absent spot with eyes equally as wide, tentacles raised to strike.

Then it went silent.

 “…shit,” he hissed, automatically turning around in case his brother teleported at the last second to safety. It wouldn’t be the first time, so it shouldn’t be the last time.

No one was there.

He waited.

Still no one.

Maybe Dream was just in shock, still picking himself up. Turning back, Nightmare stepped closer to the cliff, small rocks tumbling after the larger ones from his movements. If he leaned over, he could probably tell…ah, no. Nope, that was just a bunch of trees. His brother was probably under those trees. Probably just picking himself up.

He’ll return in no time.

Nightmare just had to wait.

So, he did.

For one minute. Then two. Then…honestly, he lost track of the minutes after that, glancing back and forth around the clearing, looking over his shoulder at the cliff like Dream would just suddenly appear, having climbed up for some stupid reason. Any minute now, the fight will be back on, continuing as usual…any minute now…

…any minute…

…any—

Okay, so.

Something was wrong.

Turning back to the cliff, he glared at the edge. It was its fault this was happening. Why did it decide to crumble now? Particularly when Dream was on it? Why?

Now his brother was somewhere below, dazed as hell, without the clear thinking necessary to teleport, or injured badly enough to be unconscious—and as soon as that thought popped into existence, he shoved it away, then took time to quell the rising panic in his soul.

No, no, that’s not possible. Dream’s far more durable than that. Sure, it’s a cliff, and cliff’s cause damage, even to immortal beings, but still. His brother could heal, so shouldn’t that work on himself, make him more…invulnerable, or something? Unless…he couldn’t actually heal himself and he’s just been assuming that he could this entire time…no, that couldn’t be possible. Nightmare’s pretty sure he’d remember that if it were the case.

So…what happened?

Maybe…maybe Dream was just staying down there for a while.

He’ll probably join again in a bit.

Yeah, that’s probably it. So, he should really go back and help his boys. Hey, maybe Dream’s already there! Maybe he went to his friends instead. Makes sense, makes sense…

He should go help his boys now, he’s been standing here too long.

And…he wasn’t moving.

Why wasn’t he moving?

Dream’s fine. He’s back at the main fight. It’s something that’s happened before. It should be something that happened here. It’s fine. He can go back. So…what kept him here, staring around like his brother would magically appear, a tight feeling in his chest that threatened to steal the air away from his non-existent lungs?

Maybe…maybe he should just go down there, check on Dream—

That was another thought pushed away. No, hell no. If he gave in to that though, if he went down there to check, now, after too much time has already passed for that to be considered just moving the fight along, that’d be…that’s cause his brother to hope. Hope that things could go back to the way things were before the apples. He can’t go through the painstaking steps needed to crush that hope, put off the last stubborn spark that remained until he was sure it wouldn’t create another flame. Not again.

Besides, he didn’t even care. Not that much. Sure, yeah, he cared somewhat, always would—that’s just naturally part of being a brother. But the majority of how much he cared was in the past, before everything was plucked off a tree in the form of a black apple and devoured. That care no longer exists, taken over by the need to win all these fights, making the scales tip in his direction.

It just…didn’t exist. He didn’t care.

(Some days, it was harder to convince himself of this fact than others.

This was one of them.)

He didn’t care, so he should so rejoin his boys, and get out of this AU.

This time, he teleported.

It was an easy win. Dream never came back.

When it came time to go home, Nightmare couldn’t stop his gaze from wandering away from his boys, who were celebrating as usual, over to the trees. In the direction of the cliff, even if he couldn’t see it from here.

The tight feeling in his chest squeezed and squeezed. His tentacles flicked nervously behind him. For some reason, he kept thinking that now was the moment his brother would appear, now was the moment he could stop all this silly, stupid worry, go back to being angry. And the longer he looked, the more that thought wavered and shook, gathering speed as it transformed into a tornado that threatened to consume all of his other priorities until he made sure Dream was okay. But the only way to do that was to go and check, and leaving now would just make the boys confused and worried, which he could not handle right now.

Besides, he was sure it was fine.

He got them all home before he could convince himself otherwise, before the urge to make sure was too overpowering. To make sure he was really distracted, he holed himself up in his office, pulling out some paperwork—which wasn’t even real paperwork, just a bunch of sudoku and word searches and other puzzles printed out to make it look like he was working on important stuff.

For the most part, it worked. Kept his mind too busy to think about what happened.

Then he got to one particular word search that—and he is not joking or exaggerating this part—had three words at the bottom for him to find, all in a row, that read: ‘Dream’, ‘injury’, and ‘concussion’. Isn’t that just the strangest collection of words you’ve ever seen? The surreal coincidence of the words made Nightmare stare down at the page for a minute, completely gobsmacked. Who the hell was writing these word searches, and why the fuck did they include these three specific words on the same one?

It was like a sign or something…

Sneering, Nightmare tore the word search up into tiny pieces, sitting back in his chair, spinning around and around. Trying very hard not to think about the three words. And how his brother never came back. And how the yelp he let out when he fell just fell silent and how he never bothered to check and—

And now he was thinking about it.

“Fuck.”

Growling to himself, he stopped spinning in his chair. Then, he promptly stood and teleported back to the AU.

Leaning over the cliff again, he teleported down. His brother wasn’t anywhere in the immediate proximity—though, why would he be? This was all just a waste of time—so he started walking around, ducking under some tree branches. When he fell, Dream would’ve had to have landed somewhere around here…though he still wasn’t sure why he was searching.

His brother was probably gone by now. His friends probably came to collect him.

Why did he think he’d find him here, lying on the ground as if nothing happened? As if he just decided to take an impromptu nap, in the snow and in wet clothes and…

Oh. Oh, shit.

That was actually Dream lying there in front of him.

Fuck.

Almost tripping over himself, Nightmare hurried over, falling to his knees beside his brother. His hands hovered in the air around him, unsure what to do. “Dream?” he called, hoping to wake him up. Nothing happened.

Dream didn’t move.

For a soul-stopping moment, Nightmare actually thought he might be dead. Panic swirled in his chest, choking him, until he remembered that if they were dead, their body would turn to dust. Presumably, anyway, since they had no real way of knowing that until they…y’know…actually died, but still. The thought allowed him to gather himself enough to Check his brother, make sure of it. It said he was fine, if missing a chunk of health.

Nightmare breathed out, hating how shaky it was. “Idiot, making me worry for nothing…” he muttered to himself, looking down at his brother, frowning. Shaking his shoulder, he raised his voice a bit, eager to wake him up, make sure he left to wherever, hopefully back to his friends, and get home himself before his boys wondered where he went off to. “Dream. Wake up.”

No response. Dream was still. Breathing—he double-checked, just to be sure—but still.

Frowning, he shook him again, rougher. Still nothing.

Even unconscious, his brother insisted on being annoying. Scowling, he sat back on his heels. “If you don’t wake up, I’m going to kick you.”

Nothing.

Welp. His hand was forced.

Standing, Nightmare kicked Dream in the side—not too hard, of course, he’s not a complete monster. Just enough that he woke up.

Which he did.

Finally.

Nightmare rolled his eye to himself, crossing his arms as he watched his brother groan, coming to. A hand half-raised to his head before stopping, eyes blinking open and squinting against the light. His eyelights were paler than normal, just a hair bigger, too. He could see the exact moment they focused in, his brother clocking that there’s someone standing above him, but Dream didn’t panic, didn’t seem to be anything more than confused.

Dream blinked again. “Hi.”

Nightmare raised a brow bone. Seriously? That’s it? He fought the urge to roll his eye again. “What are you still doing here?”

His brother seemed to get more confused. “What?”

Wondering if the fall knocked loose some brain cells, Nightmare scowled. “What do you mean, ‘what’? You know what. What are you still doing here? This is, like, the most uncomfortable spot to have a nap.” Without waiting for him to answer, he continued, waving a hand around. He couldn’t let the opportunity to mock him go by. “And why didn’t you rejoin the fight? I thought you had a duty to protect the positivity in the multiverse.”

“Um…” Dream blinked for a third time, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. He laughed, nervously, like a reflex, and when he opened his eyes again, they were fuzzy again. “Sorry, you went a bit fast for me there. Could you repeat that?”

Ugh. Now he was just being difficult.

“You’re so annoying.” Nightmare said, stepping away. “Just get up and get out of here.”

Looking up at him, the words seemed to take a few minutes to sink in. Then, nodding, Dream tried to stand, movements jerky, as if he was figuring out how to move them for the first time again. When he stood, he wobbled, tilting over a bit before righting himself.

Nightmare realized he had stepped forward, ready to catch him should he fall, and retreated, tucking his hands back into his arms.

Damnit. He was slipping. He had to get out here, fast.

“I’m alright.” Dream said, clearly noticing his misstep. He was smiling. Nightmare had to look away before the sight made him feel warm inside. “Just a bit dizzy.”

“Whatever,” Nightmare said in return, leaving it at that.

Still smiling, his brother shifted on his feet, looking down at his hands and clenching them into fists a couple of times. His gaze wandered back up to him, and then away, looking around them with a curious, still confused, look. It was almost like he was trying to figure out where he was, as if he wasn’t just in a fight here earlier.

He couldn’t have forgotten that fast, could he? And what was he still doing here?

Shouldn’t he be opening a portal by now?

“What are you waiting for?”

Snapping back to look at him, Dream didn’t seem to understand the question. “Huh?”

Waving a hand again, tentacles flicking behind him, Nightmare’s scowl deepened. Why the fuck was he acting so weird? “Open a portal already and go home. Your friends are probably worried sick by now.”

(He ignored the voice in his head that said he was starting to get worried, too.)

“Right, right.” Dream nodded, trying and failing to look like he knew what he was talking about. “A portal…see, um, I would do that…but, uh…” Looking around again, shifting some more, his smile turned sheepish. “Well, I don’t remember, exactly, how to do that.”

Nightmare did not return the smile, unamused. He just stared.

What the fuck? What was he playing at? What was the point in drawing all this out? Nostalgia? What did he get out of acting so weird? What was going on here?

“Do you think this is a fucking game?” Nightmare asked, voice slipping off into a growl. His tentacles moved restlessly. He was getting agitated now. He just wanted to go home, get back to his puzzles, and maybe sleep for a week. But no, he was here, playing along with this stupidness, unable to get a grasp on what was happening.

Dream looked alarmed, holding his hands up and shaking them furiously. “No! No—”

“Then why the fuck are you wasting my time? I come out here, in the middle of the evening, to make sure you’re good, and you decide to, what, pull a joke on me?” Unable to curb his irritation, he shook his head, rubbing a hand down his face. “Stars, I hate you. I’m reminded now why I don’t bother doing this for you. You never take it seriously.” Turning he started to walk away, hearing Dream stutter excuses behind him.

He didn’t want to hear any excuses. He was done. He was going home.

“It’s not—I’m not joking,” Dream called after him, footsteps crunching on the snow as he chased after him.

“Of course, you are!” Nightmare sighed, in annoyance or anger or both of them combined. He didn’t care anymore. “You always are!” He didn’t bother stopping or turning around. Just continued on. And then he remembered he didn’t have to walk away at all, could just make a portal out. Turning his annoyance to himself, he raised a hand to do so—

“I don’t remember that.”

—and stopped.

The statement struck the right chord, making something inside him fall to the pit of his stomach, pricking him uncomfortably. Slowly, he turned to face Dream again, paying more attention. “…what?”

“I—I don’t remember that,” Dream said, tone so genuine, eyes so wide and confused and even scared that it seemed to create a physical attack on his soul. Raising a hand, his brother held it to his head. “I thought if I waited a bit, I might remember something, but I don’t. It’s all just…blank. I don’t know anything you’re talking about, like the fight or my friends. I place any faces to them or names or anything.” He let his hand fall, shaking his head as he turned his gaze down to his feet, speaking softly. “I just don’t remember.”

The words pushed Nightmare out of the present, sending him spiraling into the black hole opening in his ribs, right where his soul is. They pressed in on him, reverberating, turning into a high pitch that buzzed inside him, threatening to cut off his breath.

He didn’t want to believe the words. In fact, he was trying his absolute best not to. Excuses flew through, nitpicking through the explanation and finding words that betrayed the real truth. He told himself over and over that no matter what, no matter how injured he got, Dream would never allow this to happen. His brother would hold onto himself with an iron grip, too desperate to let go, and the Multiverse would allow him to hold on because it was just another being that favored him. They would not let their favorite Guardian lose his precious memories, not for all the stories it brought them.

No, it just wasn’t possible. He was lying—though the reason why was unclear, and nothing could really justify it, he had to be lying. It was a trick, a ploy, maybe even a trap. Yes, that’s it. Any minute now, the other Star Sanses would jump out, pull their weapons, and Dream would drop this façade and go back to pleading with him and when it didn’t work, when Nightmare lashed out in anger, he would pull out his bow and—and—

It just---it had to be a trick.

It had to.

It…

His eyes didn’t look like he was lying, though.

No matter how long he searched, how close he looked, it was a blank sheet of gold. He found confusion, yes, he found anxiety—nothing new there—but he did not find any recognition. Hope and helplessness, but no relief in having someone he knew find him. Even now, as his brother looked around the clearing, he only saw curiosity, as if he hadn’t seen this place before, as if he had just arrived, as if he had just woken up and was in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces. The eyes came back to his, smiled at him, and—

And they were still blank.

A ghost.

The black hole in his ribs widened, pulling him in faster. Digging his heels in, he resisted with everything he had, swimming back out. He had to confirm this, he told himself, had to make sure this was the truth. If there was any chance he did remember, whether that be his friends or his title or Night—

Well, Nightmare just had to find it. He had to.

He heard himself speak before he was fully back in his body. “Did you hit your skull?”

“Ah, maybe?” Dream tilted his head, reaching around to the base of it before retracting quickly, wincing. “Yes. Yeah, I did.”

“Turn around.”

Obedient, Dream did, and Nightmare stepped closer, observing the crack. It wasn’t as bad as he was expecting—certainly not as big—but it was still enough to make bile climb up the back of his throat. Swallowing it down, he darted his gaze around it, taking in the gaping black hole, about the size of a cherry, thinner cracks webbing out from around it. It had blood crusted on the edges, and he was sure that if he took the time to look around the cliff, he’d find matching spots.

Absently reaching out, he traced along the wound with his fingers. Stars, how he wished he knew how to heal. This would be so much easier.

Dream pulled away after his fingers made contact, and he let his hand fall as he turned back, already apologizing. “Sorry! Sorry, that just…really hurt.” He laughed again, but it petered out as he caught sight of Nightmare’s face. “Oh…that bad of a sight, huh?”

“You said…” Nightmare swallowed again, ignoring those words. “You said you don’t remember anything?” The feeling in the pit of his stomach clenched.

“No.” Oblivious, Dream shook his head. “The latest memory I have is of you standing over me. Before that…” Tilting his head again, his brother thought about it, ultimately coming up with nothing. No spark in his eyes. “Nothing.” He looked regretful, like he wished he could be of more help. “Sorry.”

There he went again, apologizing.

Nightmare was going to have to have a talk with him about that. He can’t keep saying sorry for things that he didn’t need to say sorry for in the first place.

First, however, was dealing with—this.

“So…” He didn’t want to ask the next question. It burned in his throat, made his tongue curl in preparation, the words too ugly to even think about. Why did it need to be said? He already knew the answer to it. Why did he insist on asking it when he knew what was going to be said? He would rather them stand like this forever than ask it.

That was a risk, though. And he would really like to get some sleep tonight—even if that might be impossible the longer this sank in. They should really wrap this up soon.

That meant asking uncomfortable questions.

Swallowing himself down, Nightmare let the question go. It couldn’t hurt to ask, anyway. “You don’t remember me?” The words lingered in the air, an odd hint of emotion to them, something fragile and vulnerable.

(He knew the answer to why he wanted to ask this.

Somehow, somewhere inside him, there was still a need that maybe something would be remembered. If the longer they talked, the greater the chance the memories would just snap back into place. That the hollow feeling of having someone you grew up with look at you like one would a stranger would disappear, replaced by joy or anger or tears, anything else.

Inside, if nothing else, he needed there to be a chance he’d be remembered.)

It felt like hope.

“No.” Dream answered, the shaking of his head feeling like salt poured into open wounds. He seemed disappointed in himself, upset he couldn’t help. For him, this was failing at giving someone what they wanted.

For Nightmare, this was confirmation.

(It felt like denial.)

(There was a stinging in his chest. Where did it come from?)

“Where you someone important?”

Nightmare automatically bristled. “I—” He stopped himself, glaring down at the ground while clenching his jaw.

His instinct was to say that, of course he was. He was Dream’s brother. They grew up together. They were, still are, two halves of the same coin, two halves to the same balance. Despite everything, that had to mean something.

But that wasn’t the truth, was it?

Not anymore.

Maybe one time, before The Incident, before the villagers came to them. It was just the two of them, after all. And Mother, but she couldn’t really say much, or do anything beyond existing. Maybe then they were each other’s most important person. And maybe it would’ve stayed that way had everything not gone to shit.

But the point was, that was in the past.

Whatever they had, it was gone. In more ways than one now…

Inhaling, Nightmare looked away, shoving his hands into his pockets. “That…depends on your definition of important.”

They had other people in their lives now. He had his gang, his boys. Though he often complained about their foolishness and called them idiots, not once had he ever wished he hadn’t met them. Dream, he knew, felt much the same about Ink and Blue. Neither of them would trade their friends for the world.

Even for each other.

“I was—” Nightmare sighed, rolling back his shoulders. “I’m your brother. Nightmare.” He forced himself to look back at Dream, even if the eye contact burned his soul with something uncomfortable. “Your name is Dream, by the way. In case you forgot that, too.”

“Cool!” Dream paused and gasped, beaming as he made the connection. “Our names match!”

“Yeah.” Nightmare said, forcing himself to smile back. “Yeah, they do.” Of course they did, he thought to himself. That’s the reason why they chose the names.

Brow furrowing, Dream tilted his head. “Wait, if we’re brothers, wouldn’t I just live with you, then?”

“What?” Nightmare felt himself frown in return. “Why do you think we’d live together?”

Strange, considering Dream didn’t even remember him.

(There was that stinging again.)

“I-I don’t know, I just…I have this feeling that brothers should be living together. That they need to live together. I don’t know why, but it’s a very strong feeling.” Dream raised a hand to his chest, hovering over where his soul would be. “When I think about you, um, that feeling gets all…strange.”

This caught his attention. “Strange?”

“Yeah.” Nodding slowly, Dream worked through it, finding what to call it. “I think it…I think it turns jealous, somehow.”

Nightmare stared.

Jealous…?

That couldn’t be right. Dream had to be reading it wrong.

There was nothing to be jealous about. His brother always had the perfect life. What more could he want?

If anything, he should be the one jealous. He’s the only one who deserves to be jealous. Jealous of the way people were always drawn to his brother over himself, the way people thought everything of the sun and nothing of the moon, even though they both shared the same light. It was his right to be envious, his right to look upon the past and view it with bitterness. It was his right to look at the present, now, when Dream still has his friends and his standing and still has everyone revolving around him.

At least he can find relief, find arrogance, in the fact that he found his own friends, his own group of people who looked up to him. It took years, it took work, but he found them.

He didn’t need Dream anymore.

(So, what if sometimes he looked at his brother and his friends and felt a longing to join them?

So, what if he found the way they laughed, the way they treated each other, a reminder that he’s done too many things to be treated like that again?

So, what if he’s tired of fighting all the time and wants to go back to how things were, while knowing that could never happen, while looking across the battlefield into golden eyes that reflected the same kind of feelings and—and…oh.

Oh.

Oh, they would never escape being peas in a pod, would they?)

“Hey, you mentioned my friends, though.” Dream said, brightening up again, looking around like they might just pop up. Not that he would recognize them. “Maybe we could find them and they could help me get home. What do you think of that?”

Maybe, Nightmare thought, looking away as well. He couldn’t lie, it would be nice to leave this place, and dump the responsibility of an amnesiac onto someone else. Especially the Guardians of the Multiverse, the coveted Star Sanses.

But something twisting in his stomach stopped him from agreeing.

He thought, all too suddenly, about how he came back hours later to his brother still lying in relatively the same spot he fell. Meaning Ink and Blue never came back to look for him after they retreated. You’d think, for monsters that claimed to be his best friends, they’d be out here the minute the battle was over, bringing Dream back home to be checked on.

Why should he trust his brother with those two, when they didn’t even search for him? They probably don’t even know he’s missing. They certainly don’t know he’s injured. He can’t help but wonder what their reactions would’ve been to this memory loss.

Too bad he won’t find out.

“I think they’re busy, actually.” Nightmare decided, making a split decision that he hoped wasn’t wrong. “And going to be busy for the week yet.”

 “Oh…”

Dream looked disappointed. Hurt.

The look on his face only solidified Nightmare’s decision. His tentacles curled in satisfaction. “You can come home with me, though. Stay for a bit.”

“Really?” Starting to brighten yet again, Dream seemed to hesitate, searching to make sure he was telling the truth.

“Yeah.”

“Awesome.” Dream’s smile lit up the forest, and Nightmare turned himself away before he found himself getting soft because of it. Raising a hand to open the portal, he heard Dream chuckle behind him. “I gotta say, even though I don’t remember it, I bet you were the best brother ever.”

The words were said so confidently, so…normally…it made Nightmare freeze. The portal wobbled in front of him, but stayed open, and he blinked at it a couple of times before he turned back to his brother.

His mouth was dry, for a reason he couldn’t yet understand.

“What?”

“Well, I mean…it’s like you said. You came all this way, in the middle of the night, to check on me. You were worried. And then, when you found me, you stayed to wake me up, even though you technically already completed your goal. You didn’t just leave. And you checked my injury without me asking you to, and told me my name, and now you’re offering to let me stay at your place.”

Dream’s smile turned smaller, more vulnerable. “It just seems like a very nice thing to do.”

Nightmare’s gaze was frozen, locked onto that genuine, soft smile. The last sentence played on a loop, ringing inside his skull.

A very nice thing to do.

In any other situation, the suggestion would be laughable.

But like this…

(There was that stinging. Again. Why won’t it just go away?)

He thought back to the fight that happened earlier. How he reveled in the pain he caused, how much fun he had taunting his brother. How often he attacked him, without worry or caution. How eager he was to throw him around into trees, back him up into a cliff. He hadn’t even thought about what might happen, too giddy, too smug. All he wanted to do was put him in his place…he hadn’t even cared that he was bleeding…hadn’t even reached out to try and save him when the cliff crumbled…

How long had Dream laid there, in the snow, still in wet clothes?

What did he think as he watched Nightmare watch him fall?

How can that be called nice?

How can what happened during The Incident be called nice? What kind of brother turned his twin into stone, and left him in a dead AU all alone, knowing full well that he would one day return? What kind of brother picked an apple he was supposed to protect in the first place? What kind of brother was he?

Certainly not the kind this Dream was talking about…

“Right.” Nightmare said, the words tasting like ash in his mouth. He understood why this time. He wanted to throw up. “Thanks.”

Dream didn’t notice anything wrong. Still smiling away. As always. Always. “No problem!” Rocking back on his heels, he started to look around as his attention span waned with no portal to go through.

Still, Nightmare did not move to open it.

Instead, he found himself changing tracks. Jumping train from thinking about how bad of a brother he was, to how good of a brother Dream was.

Is.

Was.

Stars, this was so confusing…

“You weren’t that bad of a brother yourself.” Nightmare said, and this time the words were better tasting. At least this way, something true would be said here.

Dream looked back at him, surprised, with a spark of confusion. Then, even if he didn’t know everything Nightmare was talking about, he smiled, taking it as the compliment it was. “Aw, thanks.”

Nodding, Nightmare finally managed to open the portal, letting Dream go through first. He hesitated to follow, looking around the AU again. For some reason, he felt like he would still find his brother, memories and all, waiting for him if he looked hard enough. But he wouldn’t. He knew that.

At least, he had to accept that.

That stinging again…

Showing it down once again, Nightmare turned and went home.

(It’s only after Dream is settled into one of the guest bedrooms—stocked with fresh bedsheets and a fresh pair of clothes for the next day borrowed from Nightmare’s own closet—and he’s back in the safety of his office that he lets his composure finally break. Choking, he slides down his door, hand clasped over his mouth to keep as quiet as possible.

It’s only then that he lets himself cry.

Cry about how he never reached out to catch his brother when he first fell.

Cry about what his brother thought before splitting his skull on a rock.

Cry about the stranger left in his brother’s body.

Cry about everything.)

[stagmalinay]

Hey! So, I know it seems like I've just suddenly disappeared, and I have! Just like Deshi, I got whisked away to another world. This world is so crazy, and it seriously bugs me that everyone here is magical except me. You'd think if I was brought to this world that I could have magical powers too. 😒

Yeah, well, whatever.

So now I'm a beast tamer! Which would be cool, if the weasel wasn't such a dick.

Anyway, there's this festival happening now and I was forced into wearing this weird getup, but after wearing it a while now, I guess it's not so bad. What do you think?

I'll try to keep you updated on more strange things I experience here, but later. There are these guys trying to swindle free shit from my friend's mom's stall and now I gotta go beat 'em in a race. Shame I wasn't picked to run or we would've had an easier time winning. Oh well. At least the weasel doesn't get to run either. Chat with you later!

[pardonmydelays]

There hasn't been much news about him [LMM] lately for a while now until this month, so it's understandable to lose interest (I guess is the right term) in him and his projects. Warriors is definitely a huge step back for him! If he really is collaborating with Taylor Swift on this like we all began to speculate in April, then I would have rather it been some extended version of her song from TTPD featuring him. He is extremely capable of writing songs and creating characters for original musicals (even if they are based on a film or novel), and it just disappoints me that he went this route instead of spend his time and energy on a new original musical. Give me a reason to go to New York! I'm still going to to try and go next year anyway because there's a musical I really want to see (and because I am in dire need of going back), but I'm trying to get into musicals more and Lin just kinda ✨ threw away his shot ✨ with this one. As for Disney, yeah, I'm not entirely excited about that too, especially seeing that he probably chose Mufasa: The Lion King over Moana 2. I love "We Know the Way" and "An Innocent Warrior" the most! And "You're Welcome" and "How Far I'll Go". Bro really could've given us more songs like those in Moana 2... I'm sure the music will be good regardless, but it just lowkey sucks that he didn't write any of them.

I hope he has more, EXCITING projects coming up that he's been keeping a secret...

literally all of this - i agree with every single one of your words and i'm glad someone who's also a fan of his work has pretty much the same opinion about all of this (the warriors, collab with taylor, moana 2). there's really nothing more to say about this. we just have to wait and see what happens.

i don't think losing interest would be the right term in my case tho... it's actually more than that and i don't even know if i want to talk about it, but maybe i should. this fandom fucking destroyed my mental health to the point i don't want to be a member of this community anymore. i'm still a fan. i still follow him and i still love his work. i'm trying to keep up with all the updates. i know everyone here probably thinks i just found myself a new obsession and this is the reason i don't talk about lin anymore. trust me, i listened to in the heights the other day and i started sobbing like a goddamn clown. i still love him and i always will. i think it all went down when i created my musical theatre instagram account and started being more active in the fandom... the energy there is slightly different than here. people are actually fighting for his attention. his birthday was like a fucking shit show of who would do more just to be noticed by him. i kinda started feeling like maybe i am worth nothing because i've never met him, never been to new york (simply because i cannot afford it at the moment) or never been noticed, or maybe i haven't been here long enough, well, i also don't have a motherfucking role in this fandom - i'm not a writer, i don't make art, no talents at all, i'm just here to admire and enjoy his work. it all went too far and i was even too fucking tired to keep answering all the asks i was getting about him (and there was a lot of them at some point, probably because i was the most active member of this community on tumblr and someone who was always defending him and people started treating me like a person who knows fucking everything about him and that's just not true). i enjoyed it for a while. then i stopped. who the fuck even am i to be treated like a goddamn leader of the fandom or whatever the case was. i don't know. all i know is that it was just too much. i appreciate the fact that i was getting so many nice messages from all those people but ugh... i was once asked about discord server for his fans and i decided to create one with a huge help of my mutuals. then i fucking left. my own discord server. i don't even think anyone noticed. lmao. nobody actually asked me why, so that's what i assume. i was exhausted and drained. i just think people are taking all of it too seriously??? it was actually my mistake that i ever let myself think i was worth less than others because of all those stupid things. anyway. i don't want any of this. i hope no one in this fandom even remembers me now, maybe except those people i still talk to. the rest is history.

you may think i am making the same mistake now, but no. it's different. i am just here to have a good time, reblog silly pictures with my silly little tags and maybe make some of my mutuals laugh. i also want the new members of the fandom to feel loved and safe and to know that they are all equally important, doesn't matter if they were here years ago or joined last week. it's all just so fucking stupid. i don't have a role and i don't want one. i'm just here to enjoy it, it's way more fun this way - tumblr is actually great for me again.

i have no idea why i decided to use your ask as an opportunity to tell all of this. i don't know. i'm sorry. it just had to be said i fear.

one last thing, if you really want to get into musicals more, i can recommend you some of my favourites. i have a good taste actually!

[cboffshore]

Sorrow Is All The Rage: A (Relatively) Brief Update

No special trigger warnings apply beyond those in previous parts of this essay. If you have not read those yet, here are links to Part One and Part Two, which are necessary parts of the following essay.

Welcome back to the break room.

It's quiet here today - everyone is off celebrating the office's founding anniversary. There's the usual stuff on the table: half full packs of napkins, extra plastic cutlery, backup packs of soda, and one dead canary.

Next to the birdcage - containing, of course, the usual black-inked brown paper shroud - is a little note: we've moved the party to the courtyard! come join us for some special fun as we celebrate another year!

Okay. Why don't you step outside, then?

So you do. You step into the sun, the breeze, and for a few minutes, things are fine! While you're sipping a small glass of punch, you think, huh. Not sure why they'd put the birdcage in the break room if everyone is out here, but maybe this'll just be a normal -

A glint catches your eye from down the lawn. You hear wings flapping from the same direction, surrounded by the din of a group of people and... cheers. The person who told you that canary was dead all along slips into the circle, holding what you think is a knife glaring in the daylight.

You don't even bother to fact check that. Based on the familiar faces of the dead canary enjoyers standing there, and the rising cheers and the wings beating like petals against a palm, well. You can guess what's about to happen, and you know you can't take it, so back inside you go, and once again you wonder: why are you so bothered about it?

From your cubicle window, you watch other people shuffle away from the corner where the canary waits to die yet again. Clearly, you're not the only one upset. And clearly, it's not against the rules here - they're doing it at a company party! There are managers in there, people you trust, watching and cheering as the thing you feared happens - at least, as near as you can tell from this distance.

You knew it was coming. They didn't hide it. You followed the signs right in, hoping.

So why does it still hurt?

----------------

Before I get into this properly, a disclaimer, because I wasn't clear enough last time I updated this essay: this is not an attack on the author of when you think you're all alone, the fic that I'm talking about here. It is also not an attack on the fic itself.

I repeat: I mean no harm. I mean no insult. This is me venting, which is why it may come off sharp at times. At most, this is criticism - not necessarily constructive, but also not meant as a personal attack. I am examining the scene as a whole and feel the need to update my stance on WYTYAA after its most recent update, because I feel that this fic occupies a very important spot in the scene, and I would be remiss not to make that clear.

One more time: This is a vent. This is not an attack.

Before I continue, kindly answer this comprehension check:

Excellent. If you selected YES, please DM me and explain your answer, if you're so inclined.

Anyway: this essay won't be anywhere near as long as the previous sections. I wrote it on my phone over the course of a few hours, because if I dwell on this too long, I fear I'll get impossibly nasty. However, in the wake of the latest WYTYAA update on January 14, I want to update and clarify my stance on the work as an analyst of the Skybound fic scene.

I will open by saying that I barely made it a quarter of the way into chapter seven before tapping out. The only reason I opened it at all and stepped into the courtyard, so to speak, was because I had heard that it would be Nya-centric. Given the usual balance of Nya-centric work, I thought that might mean a welcome change (and a distraction from the October retcon). Maybe, I thought, it would be fine.

To be fair: I don't think the author retconned in anything beyond mild SA for Nya. However, working my way into the outer edges of the chapter, I could feel my enthusiasm deflating - because I'd seen all the talking points before, in some form or another. The uncomfortable touches, the weirdly detailed fear of what Nadakhan might have done to Nya had the final battle failed, the night terrors. Well, at least it was Nya-centric -

And then there came the Jay angst. That's when I switched to scanning, which saved me precious time. It became obvious early on that somehow, chapter seven had managed to make the entire fic into the average of the entire SA trend I railed against in the previous parts of this essay. In the interest of not spoiling it for anyone who would like to go and read it themselves, I won't say anything, except for that it is exactly what you would expect from the comedown of a Jay SA Skybound work: night terrors and scars and flashbacks and team members throwing concerned comments and shades of therapy dog Nya. Any goodness I remember from the injured canary of the last segment went down like acid now that I could see what it built to.

I quit before I passed the three-quarters point on the scroll bar. If the October retcon was one nail in the coffin, chapter seven was a whole hardware store poured on my head.

In short: no longer worth my reader's time. It solidified so much of what disappoints me about the Skybound fic scene and the runaway fanonization of Jay's suffering.

That's why I'm writing this:to tell you that I have made the decision to leave WYTYAA in the rearview. I will not be reading the finale, whatever that may entail. I have already deleted my bookmarks.

In the previous essay section, I labeled WYTYAA as a seminal piece of work in the scene. I still believe that it is an important piece of Skybound fanfiction. But now, I view its seminal status as an undergrad getting their general education credits would see the writings of Freud. If you've ever taken a psych course, you were probably handed something Freudian to study, then learned of the controversy around his works. Still, there was probably an important note in there: Freud's work itself is not something everyone agrees with, and in fact is rather flawed in hindsight, but his work is influential enough on the world of psychology to be a crucial lesson in Psychology 101.

Is WYTYAA essential reading to understand the scene as a whole? Yes, to a degree - it is at minimum a shortcut to understanding most of the trends and watching them in action. WYTYAA is relentless like that, and I do still admire the dedication it takes to write something that long and keep a reader base hooked. Read as a summary of the entire fic scene at once, this is an incredible work.

By no means am I presenting myself as the sole authority on this topic, by the way - but then again, nobody else I know has tried to do this sort of meta trend analysis in any capacity for this specific topic. So I'm stuck with me, and you are too, if you'd like to be.

And maybe you don't care, but I do. A lot.

In the wake of me giving up on the chapter, I opened Tumblr and was bombarded with excitement for the chapter, and praise for the angst capacity, and all sorts of things - the crowd reenacting the death of the canary at the company party. I saw Mondo's promotional post, which in past weeks I might have left a like on, but I just. Could. Not.

Now we're here.

What does it all mean?

Well, recently, the topic of SA insertion in Skybound has come up a lot. I've been part of some some incredible discussions; I've seen a few scuffles. It's died down some, with only minor flare-ups here and there. As much as I find discussing this topic and defending my stance thrilling, it's not honestly doing much. It's drawing lines, I think. The Tumblr courtyard feels tense these days whenever Skybound comes up.

So: with the decision to abandon my reading of WYTYAA, I've also decided I'm going to try and focus more on my own works - writing fic and analysis that work against the insane, unfair fanon trends. Even if nobody reads them, I will know that I have done my absolute best to influence the scene in my own small way. You'll probably still see me pop into the SA insertion discussion if it comes up, because I do feel strongly enough about it to keep fighting back.

But to protect my own sanity: I'm burning that birdcage down. I'm walking away from the company party corner. I'm not even going to bother checking back on WYTYAA, because there is no new shock left to find.

Challenge me, if you'd like. It's only fair. For now, though: I'm taking a breath at my desk.

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

this was supposed to be longer but i got tired (and realized maybe this wasn't such a good idea) so i kinda bs'd this to just finish it up. sorry it doesn't look all that good lol

transcript of my shitty handwriting + more rambling under cut

panel 1:

len: rin, just leave him—

rin: NO! i'm not going to give up now—

len: i know you're upset, but all you're doing is—

rin: HE'S NOT GONE YET!

panel 2:

rin: i know he still remembers, he has to...

panel 3:

rin: kaito-san, it's me; rin. you tried singing one of len and i's songs the other day. you got the melody right, remember? meiko-san's birthday is soon. remember her? a few weeks ago you said you needed to buy her a present. what were you going to get her? do you remember? tell me.

---

aight yea so this is what yall get for picking that ❄️📺❔🕚💾🪦 option on the poll (which btw was related to this drawing)

i'll just keep it simple: basically kaito gets dementia (or i guess the robot equivalent of it??). yeah.

not sure if this takes place on the cusp of v3 happening and just this specific kaito v1 module was unable to be updated for some reason? or if they're all still stuck in v2 and v3 hasn't happened yet/will not happen for a while... but i do know its def before v4 happened, so people like fukase and una don't exist yet

anyways though as you might expect, it pretty much sucks all around for everyone involved. not just the other 5 cryptonloids watching their close friend so previously full of life deteriorate into a husk of his former self, but for kaito himself too. he suddenly can't remember things like where he is or who the people around him are, and its incredibly frustrating b/c he knows he did have the memories at some point, its just as if they got misplaced... there's random bits of recollections that do come sometimes but as much as he tries to hold onto them they flicker and fade away just as quick as they appeared. left sinking back into a feeling of hopelessness that then becomes pure emptiness, as you can feel how you're losing yourself but there's quite literally nothing you can do

visually the static is used to represent a lot of that "foggy" feeling as things become more and more unclear, and given the robot/android nature it makes sense i guess? it's not really seen here but just as an actual machine might be when breaking down, his visual + audio processors begin to malfunction, causing a literal static overlay on his vision with faces/objects he can't recognize occasionally glitching out as well as constant white noise in his hearing and the sound of people talking to him becoming garbled and unintelligible. as time goes on he also loses his own ability to synthesize speech so aside from becoming withdrawn and quiet out of fear he'll say something that makes no sense, he then literally just becomes incapable of responding at all

again (as you might expect), the other cryptons aren't doing very well as this is happening. rin and len see kaito almost like a father, so watching one of your parental figures slowly march towards death is... not great. rin (as seen here) is still trying to hold on, because she swears kaito has had a few good days where he does recall more, where he seems much more like his old self, and maybe, just maybe if they wait a bit more he'll get better [tbh she's speedrunning the 7 stages of grief but goes between being stuck in some of the earlier stages its... not good]. len's grief on the other hand is manifesting itself in a way more similar to meiko's: he's not as distant as her, but he has already recognized that there's pretty much nothing that can be done and just wants to minimize kaito's suffering. len's just as shattered as rin though, but he's not showing it openly, figuring he has to accept it, as fighting against the grief like his sister won't help anything.

i just mentioned meiko so speaking of her: this is also probably extremely difficult on her, as, yknow, the counterpart v1 to kaito. she's withdrawn herself away from kaito, as she doesn't want to cause him pain in case he happens to recognize her, remember something about their relationship, but not comprehend what it means and just become confused/distressed. at least, that's what she says; it's more or so she can't bear to see him in this state, as he slowly loses more parts of himself, so she isolates herself in hopes the pain will be somewhat less when its all over, for having seen him less and not having false hopes of his recovery. that being said though she has definitely still been around him and tried to keep her composure... from kaito's pov, in moments of recollection, its disheartening seeing your wife close friend suddenly ignoring you, almost like she's mad or sad about something, but you can't remember why. did you forget to do the laundry? is it something unrelated? you want to ask her but she won't tell you; why? did she already and you just forgot? why...

miku's usual cheeriness has also crumbled, as even with rin's attempts, she can't find anything to be optimistic about in this scenario. she just feels this immense guilt, that she should've done something about this; she has influence as the most popular of the entire group, surely she could do something to make it all better. but aside from the arguments and indecisiveness regarding ethics and not wanting to do something without everyone's collective decision, she does know deep down its not her fault. maybe someone like one of the technicians or programmers would be more at fault, but she doesn't want to blindly throw accusations either, because surely they hadn't foreseen this happening either; nobody would intentionally throw in such a cruel fate for someone, it was an unfortunate system glitch that they were working to fix, but even if they did come up with a patch for it, it would be far too late for kaito at that point. she doesn't want to dwell too much on the logistics of it, miku just wants to be there for everyone else, because she knows how deep in despair the others are—she is too—and doesn't want their whole group to fall apart after such a devastating event.

as for luka: i would assume we're kind of actually seeing everything from her perspective, so as an audience lens she'd be more objective about presenting everything as it is without putting too much of her own bias/thoughts into it. but she's not completely unfeeling either. she tries interacting with kaito quite often, despite some of the others warning her about doing that too much. she tries talking to him about random things, not necessarily aiming to get him to remember anything in specific, though if any of his memories do surface in conversation she'll def address them and ask if he recalls anything more (and if not that's alright too). on some occasions she's been accused of being insensitive, but she doesn't want his death to be this huge tragedy, she would want him to be somewhat happy in his last moments. after everything that's happened, he deserves to leave in peace, in her opinion.

i've mentioned death a few times and there's a literal gravestone in the original emoji combo so safe to say, yeah, he dies. unfortunately the damage to his hardware is beyond repair from the critical/fatal errors and glitches, and it's decided that it'd be best to ultimately just deactivate him and delete all his files to not prolong any pain he might've been in for any longer. not exactly sure what would happen afterwards (aside from an obvious aftermath of the grief): if this is before/on the verge of v3 happening, there's the situation i thought about of them receiving a new replacement v3 kaito module, which has its own angst w/ it: its almost like seeing a fucking ghost, but it's not the same one they all remember, nor does it have all those memories. and this v3 kaito himself experiencing conflicted feelings as someone who was brought in to try and give back happiness to this group, only to seem to cause more despair for being so similar to someone long gone that he'll never truly replace. again though i'm not sure if i'd actually have that happen for the sake of everyone involved's sanity but it is something interesting to think about

i've been typing this for like 3 fcking hours now and i have no idea if this makes any goddamn sense lolol uhhh. like all my things it sounds way better in my head than when i actually put it on paper 😭 but congrats if you actually went thru the effort of reading all this. i might do more explanations like this of my things if anyone's interested, like of the other poll options, but we'll see

[redrydersrequiem]

The vampire and the raven

Chapter 4

It’s been two weeks since shopping with the girls, eating lunch everyday with the cullens and flirting with jasper during class. Alice was a very persistent wingman as Jasper finally asked me out to dinner the following week. The same night in fact, I finally got to have a long talk with mom and dad. They were finally back from Vanaheim on their diplomatic mission, the magic circle finally became clear and my mothers smiling face appeared. Dressed in her favorite yellow gown

“Oh my darling little raven, I’ve missed you so much.”

“I miss you to momma, how are you and the babies”

“They are both fine, little nari is turning into a little trouble maker like your father while vali is an even bigger troublemaker but Norns i love them. They both miss you dear, ask all the time where their big sister is.

“Oh I miss them too, kiss their little bellies for me.

“I will love, now tell me everything that's been happening.

After filling mother in on meeting my soulmate and his family and how amazing they are. I tell her about their condition

“So they are immortal. And they survive on other creatures' blood.?”

“Yes momma but they aren’t evil. From everything Lucas has found out, and everything I’ve observed they are good people that have made the most out of an infliction cast upon them they've all had to leave everyone the know and love behind having to reconstitute themselves in the world every several years”

“Oh how horrible,”

“Exactly, but in a way this is good. I will have my soulmate so much longer than I thought before we have to go through the transition of Idunn Apple.

“Yes my dear, that is a positive note, but if these people are having such issues I don’t want you to get hurt. I worry so much.”

“From the background fathers voice rings out”

“Did I just hear my daughter's soulmate is immortal, on Midgard?”

“Yes father you did.” Now that father was in the frame I recant my story with mom and dad present.

“How very interesting. I'll have to search the royal library’s for anything we have if not i do trust daughter you’ll collect information for me, to sooth my own curiosity”

“Of course father, but are you not worried at all”

“Of course not dear from what you’ve said it seems the young man has a good head on his shoulders but I do want you to hold off on revealing your heritage until you know much more about them. I would hate for my little raven to get hurt and I have to demolish an entire species.”

“No destruction father, everything will be fine but I do hear what you are saying, and will definitely take it under consideration.

“Good girl my little raven now keep us updated my dear and know that your lady mother and I are here for you no matter what.”

“Thanks dad I love you”

“We love you dear, sleep well our little princess.”

Two months go by, dates with jasper, gifs night with the Cullen girls even joined family games nights. Jasper and I are officially dating, all seeming so blissful, but they still haven’t trusted me with their family secret, and until i knew everything I needed i couldn't tell them mine

The following Monday I walk into the cafeteria to check on with the girls before class starts when I see Bella with the morning's paper, the headline standing out in bold black lettering.

DEATH TOLL ON THE RISE, POLICE FEAR GANG ACTIVITY

The air is thick and the silence deafening, I can tell that there’s something seriously wrong going on.

“What’s going on guys”

“Hey girl how you been.” Emmet on que breaks the tension standing up to squeeze me.

“I'm good, but apparently you all aren’t, what’s going on, why are everyone’s faces so grim?”

“It's nothing darling, everyone's fine. Jasper says as he takes my hand, giving it a squeeze

“Yeah we are all just a little shaken up over the news is all

“ I can see that, that's horrible.”

“Yeah it’s nothing we all can’t handle thou! ovvfff. Rose jabs her elbow into Emmet's stomach to cut him off.

“Anyway elara guess what?”

“What alice?”

“Us girls are having a sleepover this weekend. The boys are going hiking so we will have the house all to ourselves.”

“Oh really you going for a hike cowboy”

“Yeah me, Emmett, Edward and Carlisle.

“Oh well you be save up there i would hate for a bear to get you

“Naw elara that's the fun part, we love catching bears, ugggg.” Emmet receives yet another elbow to the stomach.

“Babe, will you stop elbowing me?”

‘Your hilarious Emmet. But I'd be happy to have a sleepover this weekend.”

“Great, it's settled and we’ll have so much fun. I already know it.”

“You always do alice. Well I'll see y’all later in class.”

Kissing Jasper on the check I make my way to my class, walking off though I hear Edward telling the others that they have to scout the area soon, they have figured out who it is on the killing spree. How interesting, he said who not what.

Throughout the week I can tell the mood within the Cullen clan slowly declines,and by Friday you can no longer contain it. To be able to help them i have to know what's going on and I can’t be delicate about the situation anymore

“Ok that's it all of you,What’s going on? You've all been more quiet than usual since that newspaper article.

“It’s nothing darling,

“It’s not nothing Jasper I can tell something’s wrong, please tell me guys i want to help.”

The group all look around as silent conversation is spoken between them. Edwards face stiffens as Alice gives him a knowing look.Finally Rosalie speaks up

“Elara, it's not really something we can speak about right now. Let us talk to our parents first and then will let you know our decision ok, I'm sorry but this really has to be discussed elsewhere.”

“Fine I'll accept that for now but I will check back after school.”

“Absolutely, we'll see you then.” You nod and walk away from the table only to have jasper stop you,’

“Darling i'm sorry”

“It’s fine, Jasper. I understand family is important and I trust all of you. I just want to help if I can.”

“Thank you dear, I promise everything will be sorted out, I swear”

“I know love, and I'll wait for you always”

The cullens pov

Moving the tense conversation out to the cars the cullens huddle together not caring if they miss class or not

“So what are we going to do?”

“I vote we just tell her, i mean you told Bella Edward”

“I didn’t just tell her alice bella figured it out”

“Whatever.”

“Either way I want to tell elara. She’s my mate and could be in just as much danger as Bella if these mysterious vampires keep running around town.I will not have my mate in danger.”

“Calm down Jasper, it’ll be fine, besides I'm with Alice, I vote to tell elara.”

“Of course you side with your mate”

“Oh stuff it edward, or do you forget why we are in this situation”

“ Really rue you want to start this shit with me again.”

“Ok the both of you seperate im with jasper as well eddy so your out numbered”

“Come one guys. Rose come on”

“Unfortunately edward i agree with emmet. I actually like Elara. She is smart and caring and has an amazing way about her and I don’t want her to be in any trouble either. We've all gotten really close to her.”

Edward broods like always all his siblings looking at him waiting for his answer

“Fine I guess you win.”

“I'll call Carlisle and fill him in, someone else let Esme know, jasper bring elara with you after class” alice barks out everyone going into planning mode, waiting to make sure everything is in order to safely tell elara the truth.

Jaspers pov

Finally the last class comes and i can finally be with elara. Now she'll know about me and all of us. I Pray to whoever is listening that she doesn’t freak out. I couldn’t handle losing my mate. But I knew that deep down none of that would happen. That elara would take the news just fine. Walking into the last class I finally see her. The unbridled sirinity that enveloped me as soon as I was near her was immaculate. To finally feel peace in the never ending sea of smells around me.

“Hey there darling”

‘Hey cowboy”.

“So, about the conversation at lunch”

“Yeah?”

“We want to tell you, would you be willing to come over to my house tonight?”.

“Of course. Are you all sure you want to tell me?”

“Without a doubt darling, but please promise me one thing”

“Anything jasper”

“Please just hear everything we have to say before you make a decision.” I can’t even look her in the face as I speak, the fear of losing her slowly consuming me. Until I feel her soft palm on my face, tilting my head up to meet her beautiful eyes.

“Jasper baby it's ok. Everything will be fine I promise.”

“Ok”

“Ok, let's just get through this last class.”

“Of course darling”.

Finally the bell rings and I turn to her, holding out my hand. We make it out into the misty atmosphere of forks. Coming to stand by the rest of my family.

“Are you all sure you're ok with me coming over?” elara asks from next to me

“We’re sure darling, come on let’s go”

Elaras pov

I just gripe onto Jasper's hand as we make the silent drive towards the cullens house, I can tell they are all internally fighting with themselves over telling me things. How i wished I could ease their worries and tell them they have nothing to worry about that i had seen and meet much worse but fathers words ring in my ear about protecting myself while on Midgard, to be wary of what evil humans like that horrible hydra group and countless others could do to me while on earth if they got ahold of me and my abilities.

I know this would never happen with the cullens but the fact that if I could be caught and that my mate and his family could then be caught and hurt truly stilled my tongue. How am I supposed to tell them I'm not only not human but not even of their world? And i'm a princess on top of all of that, oh Norns Odin help me. Just as the thoughts are starting to consume me, Jasper wraps his arm around me, and I just become enveloped in him. In the woodsy scent on his shirt and the slight brush of his golden curls against my forehead. Like it was just us in the whole world and nothing bad would happen to me or him. The cullens house comes into view. Everyone gets out of the cars and files somberly into the house. Coming into the living room Esme and Carlisle come into view.

“Good evening,”

“Oh Elara, dear good evening. I'm so glad you decided to come over. I know this is all probably stressful.” Esme gently glides over to me embracing me in a giant hug.

“No, I'm happy to be here. I want to know what’s happening so that I can help if possible”

“You're a brave girl dear. Ok let's all take a seat then. Carlisle why don’t you start.”

“Ok so how do we begin, have you seen the news lately about the recent killings and people going missing in Seattle”

“Yes

“Well those events are being done by a being that the local tribe have called cold ones”

“Cold ones?”

“Yes, cold ones are beings that do not age, have superior strength, speed, sight, everything to humans. They are the perfect biological superior being to humans. The only downfall of the race is that they must consume the essence of other sentient beings to survive”.

“A more updated term would be vampires, blood suckers, killing machines.”

“Edward, really that kind of talk is not necessary.”

‘Carlisle she needs to know what she getting into

“Edward shut up.” Jasper growls out next to me. I visibly tense under the angry energy rolling off of him

“Make me jasper your the most dangerous of us, is anyone should say something than….”

“ENOUGH” Esme raises her voice to stop her childrens quarl.

“Elara dear there is no way to say this gently but all of us here except Bella is a cold one, a vampire. However we do not hurt human beings, we are vegetarians in a way we all consume animal blood to sustain ourselves, and due to things that are about to affect our family and how close you’ve become with Jaspe, and the rest of us we want to make sure you are safe and protected. Which you can only be if you know the truth.”

The room is silent as a morgue. Everyone is just waiting to see my reaction. When they dont get one they start getting nervous

“Elara are you ok do you feel faint. Or anything?’

I just look at Carlisle and shake my head, feeling jasper take my hands and kneeling in front of me trying to see if i'm in shock.

“darlin, please say something, im sure you have a million things to ask.”

“Nope.”

“What!” Edward spews from the wall he’s leaning on.

“Nope, I'm fine.”

“You're seriously just fine with everything they just said to you, even Bella freaked out for a day after she figured it out and I had to tell her.

“Oh Edward, trust me when I say I’ve heard weirder stories, and besides there's superpowered people all throughout the world, who am I to jilt you all for not being human.”

Looking around all i could really see where the gears in everyone’s heads turning as the look of astonishment crosses all of their faces

“ Are you all going to combust or something”

“No darling i guess we were just all expecting something different”

“Oh cowboy is this what you’ve been so worried about all day that you would scare me off”

“Yeah.”

“Well wipe that away because it's not happening. But i do have one question carlisle”

“Yes”

“You said earlier if I had heard about all the killings and disappearances in Seattle what exactly is going on and what does it have to do with your family.”

“Well that is a long story.”

“So a year and a half ago bella came into town and bonded with edward and while you all where playing baseball one day a trio of rogue evil vampires came upon you and one of them decided to make bella a target cause he thought it would be fun, you go to escape, he tricks bella, you all end up showing up in time to stop him and kill him. Now because he’s dead his girlfriend/mate is now hell bent on killing Bella and she’s the one behind all the disappearances or at least you think she is since recently Bella’s house was broken into by someone unknown.”

“Yes that about sums it up.” Emmett chuckles out.

“How very interesting”

“I must say elara your are taking this all so well”

“Why thank you Rue. I try real hard.”

“Now you know what’s all going on darling and why I want to make sure that if it is Victoria I don’t want her to be able to hurt you.”

‘Oh dear it will all be fine trust me I’m a lot stronger than you think. But I understand now why you're all so tense and stressed and now I can help.”

“Oh dear you are so sweet, I'm so glad you fell into my childrens lives.” Esme says from her seat next to Carlisle on the couch.

“I am too, it's like its magic huh,”: a knowing twinkle in my eye. “But I'm serious and I want to help.”

“First we’ve been trying to get a read on if it is truly Victoria causing the issues in Seattle, all I’ve been able to do so far is contact my friends with the volturi to inform them of the rising threat to our kinds exposure”

“Who are the Volturi?”

“A bunch of stubborn power hungry jackasses”

“Emmet watch your language’

“I'm 92 years old Ma,I think I'm allowed to at least speak the truth. They really are a bunch of old ack”… Emmet's sentence getting cut off once more by a well placed elbow from Rose.

“Thank you Rosalie. Now where was I before I was so rudely interrupted. The Volturi are the largest and most powerful coven of vampires we currently have. They enforce the laws of the vampire world.”

“They are basically the equivalent of vampire royalty even though they only are because they made themselves to be” . Alice adds bitterly from the other side of me.

“Yes, they are led by the three kings, Aro, Marcus and Caius. They have been around for over 3000 years”. Carlisle’s continues on.

(3000 years please they are simply babies when it comes to grandfather odin and grandmother Frega.)

“Throughout their reign many a coven has fallen due to not following the volturi rule.”

“How so?”

“Aro, Their leader likes to gather unique beings with abilities.”

“Abilities?”

“Yes abilities for example a few of us here are special even among our kind. Alice can see the future. Edward here can read minds, and Jasper is able to manipulate emotions.”

“Incredible……. That actually explains a lot about you Edward. I would be moody if I had to hear what everyone was thinking all the time too.”

Emmett burst out laughing at this glad he at least found me funny. Then a thought comes to my mind

“Have any of you ever used your abilities on me?”

“No my sweet elara the first day we met you we learned that none of our abilities really work on you. Kinda like Bella. She is only really able to get out of physical abilities like mind reading and other stuff whereas me and jasper can see some of her future and slightly feel her emotions. It was so fun when she first came, it pissed Edward off so much ahhaha.”

“I bet.” laughing along with Alice as Edward scoffs at his sister.

“Anyway, some vampires have abilities we believe they gain by having really strong circumstances, emotions or something substantial happen to them while they are alive. For example you have an infinity for plant life your whole life and are turned you could be able to manipulate plants as a vampire. It’s still a vast concept we are studying.

“That’s truly fascinating carlisle.” Oh Odin I can’t let father know about this he’ll never stop asking questions if our two families ever come together.

“Yes it is very fascinating but because only a select few have powers Aro is dead set on collecting as many people for his coven as possible. He currently has some very powerful people that enforce his rules.”

“Oh yeah they are a big bag of fun.” Emmett adds

“What are their abilities?”

“Well there are four of them that are the kings’ main enforcers. Theirs Jane the leader of the group, she can cause physical pain to anyone. By just saying the word. Her brother Alec is able to produce a smog from his limbs that is able to numb all senses of his prey. Beside them are Demetri and Felix. Demetri has a similar power to the rogue vampire James that wanted to kill bella. He can track anyone anywhere by the tenors of their minds. While Felix is more of the muscle behind everyone. We do not really want to bring the enforcers attention anywhere near us, but since Aro found out Bella was a shield he’s even more determined to try and find a way to break our coven to get Edward, bella, alice and jasper on his side”.

“That’s not good, so I'm guessing even if Victoria was the person behind everything the Volturi probably wouldn’t step in because they hope that Victoria will win and Aro will get what he wants.”

“Yes, that is correct.”

“Is there truly no one else that can help you?”

“Currently we are protecting the town and our boundaries while the wolves protect theirs.”

“The wolves?”

“Yes, the local tribe I told you about. The Quileutes are a tribe of shifters that take on wolf forms. We have an agreement with their elders that as long as we do not cross on to their land and we never harm a human being we are free to stay here in peace. However, Victoria keeps jumping between the two sides.”

“Yeah as soon as we almost catch her, she jumps onto the wolves' land. Emmett almost got in a brawl with one of them the other day trying to go after her.” Jasper says

“So the atmosphere isnt exactly cordial between you all .”

“You could say that darling.”

“Well there has to be something you can do. Someway to see if they can help. I mean there’s been over 15 disappearances in Seattle so far. That’s almost a full squadron im not letting you all go against 15 plus vampires by yourselfs”,

“There’s also the fact that if she is behind this all the people could be newborns now, which means they will be stronger, faster, more ruthless. Elara is right we are going to need help with this if it comes to a fight I don’t want to lose my family. I refuse.””

“It will be alright Rue, we still don't even know for a fact this is Victoria.

“I mean we might as well assume it is”. I pipe up from my spot, all the cullens turning to me.

“Explain dear. Esme asks

“There are too many Coincidences for this to not all be some kind of ploy from Victoria. The break in at Bella’s even though you couldn’t find any trace of her, it doesn’t mean she couldn’t have found someone else to do it for her. Honestly at this point I would see if you could get a meeting with the local tribe carlisle and try and explain the situation to ask for help.”

“You may be right elara”

“I can tell you all are thrilled about it from the looks on your faces but if that's what it will take to make sure all of you and bella are safe then that's what it takes”

“Your right darling. How did you learn to be such a strategizer, a real voice of reason.”

“I have a lot of experience, trust me.” I gently kiss the side of his cheek.

The rest of the night goes smoothly and Jasper drives me back to the school to pick up my car. The drive back. Home all the facts run through my head, I'll have to see if Lucas can find anything out about the Seattle cases, if not I will step in to help the cullens even if it gives away who and what I am before i'm ready to tell them.

The following week I can definitely see a difference in the cullens attitudes. They now freely tell me their quote on quote camping stories, and a lot more about their actual lives. I’ve slowly learned more about how each Cullen came to be a Cullen. So far Rosalie's story is my favorite. Like a true Valkyrie she took down those horrible men that abused her, with quite a clever flair, and even though how she became a vampire was not her choice I can tell that Emmett and her are truly happy.

Rue's story was similar in a way, she was mugged and fatally stabbed, Alice found her shortly after and was able to get her to jasper in time to be changed. After she adjusted and learned Alice was her mate, she felt like everything in her life came together. Her biological family and her weren’t close by any means due to her sexual orientation. This is when I learned many midgardians don't accept their own offspring or family members due to this, which truly boggled my mind with my gender fluid father. Thank the Norns, Rue was able to find a family that truly loved her for just being her. While I’ve learned more about the Cullens I’ve learned to read them much better, and right now all I'm reading is that Edward and Bella are not seeing eye to eye right now. Considering she’s currently sitting on the other side of the cafeteria.

“Hey bella”. I announce as I place my tray across from hers

“Oh hey elara.”

“What’s up? Why are you all the way over here.?”

“Edward and I are kinda fighting.”

“Kinda fighting? What’s happening.?”

“It’s Jacob”

“Jacob?”

“Yeah Jacob black. I used to know him before i moved to Arizona and now that i'm back we reconnected and got pretty close when the cullens disappeared for a while”

“And let me guess he has feelings for you.”

“Yeah”

“Wellllll hmmm that is a tough one”

``Yeah and it doesn’t help that Jacobs is part of the Quileutes”

“No shit.”

“Yeah”

“So he’s a” Leaning in closer I whisper the word wolf.” Never knowing what nosy teenager is listening in.

“Yeah”

“Well I must say, you definitely attract some interesting characters don't you.” Bella laughs at this, the tension slightly easing out of her shoulder.

“You could say that, it's just I like Jacob and his pack, they're good people and I feel bad that many of them have now become wolves cause not only are the cullens back in forks but now with Victoria running around tensions are really high.”

“Yeah, and let me guess each side thinks they can handle it on their own, when neither can without their being possible casualties

“Correct again elara.”

“Well then all we can do is try to convince them then huh. Is it possible I could meet the tribe or group or whatever maybe together we could talk to them and the cullens and bring everyone together”

“Hmmmmm I mean it's not a horrible idea. You know what sure let me message them and well go from there

“Ok, just let me know and don't worry everything is going to be just fine, ok.?”

“Ok.”

“Ok I'll see you after school. Let me know when anything is set up. Bye bellas’

“Bye elara”

Walking away all I can feel is the excitement of possibly getting to see these shifters up front, seeing how their magic or process works for them to become wolves. Of course no wolf will probably beat Aunt Helas Fernrir but this will definitely be interesting.

[degenrcy]

jeff da killa puts you to sleep ->

warnings: rape, blood, death, stalker, he totally loves you

link to ao3 if you want to read as i update, because who knows when or what i'll post on here!

a calm summer night. fresh sheets and a new pajama set. you lotioned up well, did your skincare, put up your hair securely after its own special treatment. a 3-wick vanilla scented candle filling up your room, soft music playing from your open laptop.

you slipped your panties on after sliding off your towel, showing off to the laptop and potential dark web perverts watching you through your tapped camera... just kidding! that stuff wasn't even real, who cares, nothing bad has happened to you ever anyways.

you were perfect; smooth and clean, smelled like a girl, looked like a girl, you probably felt like a girl. you were mesmerizing, clueless, naive, dumb, stupid, stupid, stupid bitch. a dumb, fucking idiot who left their window open on this calm summer night. multiple windows, just in case a possible intruder murderer rapist burglar wanted to do a house tour before intruding murdering raping raping again and robbing you.

i guess girls stay up late too, the light of your phone dulling out the shape of your face. expressionless, smooth cheeks, no longer smiling. just scrolling, and scrolling, and scrolling. one day you'll find the one- the perfect video to wrap up the night. not tonight.

boots touched down in your bathroom, mirror still foggy with products lined up on the sink waiting to be properly closed and put away. you were messy, lazy. you buy all these things, but don't have a place for them. you're useless.

he pondered the thought of flickering the bathroom lights. getting your attention. stabbing you through the shower curtain. it wasn't fun like that. this was going to be fun.

not much decoration for a girl like you. there's a dedicated board with pictures of friends and maybe some other meaningful sentimental items. he ripped off a photo booth picture of you to stash in his wallet and show you off to his friends... right. if he could smile anymore, he could. he wanted. he was.

slow calculated, heavy steps closer to your room. the vanilla and coconut and strawberry and burnt hair from the dryer wafted through the air. it was adorable, you trying to be so many kinds of girls at once... but there you were, in all your glory. natural state, relaxed, no performance in sight. his eyes widened at the sight-

girl. bra-shirt. pink. shorts. panties under shorts? alone. looking at phone, headphones, perfect. wait, even better, you tossed and turned a couple times before finally settling on showing your bare back to him. ass.

he slipped through, caressing the blade in his pocket. his fingertips twitched against the sharp side, edging closer and closer to nicking himself. but that would hurt. that's why he does it to others.

he watched your phone with you for a while, the mass amounts of content you ingest at once and switching through the same 3 apps was bound to drive you insane at some point. no wonder you haven't fallen asleep yet. ah, your ass jiggled a little. nice.

you couldn't even scream when he finally pounced on you, perma-crazed eyes forcibly locking onto your fear-filled ones. cold against your throat. pressure on your stomach holding you down. smooth, smooth, silky smooth skin. his fingers were disgusting against your mouth and nose, no more vanilla-coconut but dirt-blood-disgusting-horrible-oh-my-god-howdidyougetinherepleasedontkillmeohmygod

he was just gonna help you fall asleep!

"lift up your shirt." he commanded, twirling around the very used knife in front of you, leaning back to let you move. this is where you scream, attract your roommates and neighbors- oh wait thats right you're alone and he would've killed everyone else in the place and look at that, whimpering and lifting up your shirt. tiiiiits.

your phone buzzed with a text message, briefly lighting up the room. his face now dimly lit, and your face was completely disgusted. now you hurt his ego, so you were really gonna get it.

he twirled the knife back into his grip, stabbing through your precious phone. his free hand found its spot back at your jaw, gripping tightly until your cheeks smushed together and dug into your gums. he stared, unblinking, lowering the knife closer to your warm skin. he wanted to crawl inside you, burrow himself in your ribs, feel your womanly-warmth all the time and have you coddle him and rock him around while you walked around.

"take off everything now, slut."

you shook like a newborn deer taking its first steps and he was the obsessed hunter growing his collection of cute deer heads on his wall. he hummed in satisfaction as you peeled away your soft panties, trying to cover up and slow the process as much as possible. jokes on you, he loved a strip tease.

his knife tapped your knee, mouthing "open. up." silently, smooth shiny legs parting open for him. the flat of the blade rode up your thigh, your frail hands daring to try and stop him. a quick turn of his wrist and slice the first little baby cat scratch stretched across your bare thigh. your lips trembled underneath his fingers, tears welling in your eyes. you took it like a champ!

he let the blood soak up the blade as much as possible, giggling to himself at how sick you looked and how you writhed under his weight when he rubbed it into your face. he made a smile on your face with your own leg-blood. he licked your face, laughing even more as you cried. he spit on the knife, a bloody gob dripping down the length of it, then slid it down to your cunt. his heart swelled at your body freezing up, tensing, preparing for the worst. no no no, he wasn't cruel, not a monster.

"don't move," he huffed, undoing his pants as quick as possible and finally freeing his dick from its constraints. he rubbed the knife on himself, grabbing your wrists with on hand, holding them above your shaking-no head. no-no-no, side to side. "go on, beg me not to."

"p-please," you obliged. "anything but this, please, i-i don't know what you want..."

he rolled his eyes- heard it all before. he wiggled his way inside you, being as scared as you were made it a tight fit. it always did. he loved it.

you gave in so easily, you weren't even trying to kick him, what a little fucking whore. the nerve to make it seem like you didn't want it, hilarious.

he slashed your beauty a few more times, letting it trickle down your sides and into the bed sheets. he rubbed it all over your chest and stomach and face, tonguing your mouth with iron-taste filth and cigarette residual. you were getting quieter as he moved his hips faster, eyes rolling up to stare at the ceiling instead of the hideous creature inside you right now. he understood, the bodys way of coping and all.

he could let go of your hands now, they remained above your head anyways. phone out, flash on, record. in another life jeff would've loved to be an amateur pornstar. he got the best angles to watch his dick slipping inside you, blood inside and out and all over, it was fucking hot. he closed in on your face, the flash forcing your eyes closed and mind back to earth.

"n-no, please, don't." you only could cry, single word demands fall on fully hearing ears that didn't give a shit. he dug the knife into your face, ripping a scream finaaalllyyyy from that pretty throat. he tore a smile across your face, pushing himself to cum as deep inside you as he could. he groaned, eyelids twitching and buried in your cunt. he pumped himself a couple times, using you to the fullest. he dropped the knife on your bloodied-pink satin pillow, kissing you harshly.

he moaned into your teeth, it was like a fountain of blood pooling into his mouth from yours- it was perfect. the smell of sex and blood, perfect. the smile on his girl's face after fucking her to sleep, perfect.

you hiccuped as he rummaged through your stuff, not much use to him. lame diary, cheap jewelry, not many electronics other than the one with a hole in it beside you. he was getting hard again just at the sounds you were making, whining for round two. moaning from the pain.

"yeah yeah i'll be right there." he waved you off, palming himself through his boxers while emptying out bags and purses and wallets. when he was done, he caressed the side of your face as he slid his cock along your ruined face. the bloody slit that was your mouth did wonders, especially when he dug the blade into your chest and you started gurgling and bubbling. it felt fucking amazing. he's never had a girl like you. so perfect.

you soon went limp, arm dangling off the edge of the bed and dripping onto the fuzzy little carpet you had for your feet in the morning. the floors got cold, but you always forgot to put on your slippers. he sliced open your arm, just for fun. he peeled back the layers of skin and fat and bone and muscle, he's sorry he put you through all of this. his fingers wiggle between your nerves and tendons- jeff even wondered if he dug deep enough, pull on some strings, could he move your fingers around like a puppet? get you to jack him off even in death?

[pandasmagorica]

4 Minutes last minute episode 8 clowns

Update: I've reblogged this post together with my clown results. If you're reading this as my reblog, my results are at the bottom.

With only a few hours to go before the finale drops and we either go "Wow!" or "WTF?" or both, it's time to get my last ever 4 Minutes clowns in. This post necessarily has reveals from episodes 1-7. Full disclosure: I have not rewatched 1-7 and am apparently confused about the relationship between various minor characters who have entirely too much power over whether our mains and sides live or die.

It also doesn't help that I have trouble recognizing Title.

Anyway, my clowns follow the jump.

Either nobody's going to see this until after the episode and will read it laughing and pointing at me and telling me how wrong I was. Or, miraculously, how right I was. Relax. I'll be doing the same.

Or I will search the 4 minutes tag and discover that everyone else is posting their clowns as well. This is Tumblr after all.

Who's Timeline is It?

There have been various takes on what's real and what's unreal. Here are the nominations, including a couple of my own creation:

The unreal/4 minutes redo version is Great's alone as Great ticks off the 4 minutes until brain death.

The unreal/4 minutes redo version is Great's and Tyme's shared vision as Great and Tyme simultaneously tick off the 4 minutes until brain death.

The unreal/4 minutes redo version is all the killed people's shared vision as they tick off their own personal 4 minutes until brain death.

The unreal/4 minutes redo version is what really happened, and what we've been thinking as real is Great's fever dream.

Both the unreal/4 minutes version and what we've been thinking as real are real and exist in parallel universes.

The unreal/4 minutes redo version is a creation of the hungry ghosts during the hungry ghost festival.

We get a third timeline where Great and Tyme do everything right the first time.

I'm going out on a limb and saying that #1, Great's only, is out. There is too much that happens in the unreal timeline that is out of Great's knowledge.

#2, A GreatTyme timeline is doable. I'd have to re-watch 1-7 and separate out the real from the unreal to see if there was anything unreal that neither Great nor Tyme would have known. Actually, there is: Manee going to the temple to hire a hit man and getting the 4 fortune. So, that kills #2 so to speak.

#3 and #6 are similar. #3 would be a pastiche of their thoughts while #6 would be an actual redo from the spirits' perspectives. Both options have been set up, I think.

I kinda like #4 and #5. I don't actually think they would do #4 - I'm happy to be proven wrong. And while series have done parallel universes, it's a little late to be introducing such a concept.

I also like #7 although I don't think it's likely.

Drumroll, please!

I'm guessing it's #6, because of the Dome returning from the hospital scene, plus the timing of the series.

Lukwa and Her Out of Body Experiences

Lukwa talks about the 4:00 room and being able to see into the future 4 minutes and then change it. But is that happening in the real or the unreal?

If she's talking in the unreal, then it's just in her mind or Great's mind or GreatTyme's mind and she's really not talking to Den (and they probably won't get together, sadly).

If she's talking in the real, then the question is was the 4:00 room real or in her mind? The 4 minute time jumps? There could be a different answer for each one:

4:00 room unreal

She didn't see Great in the room because there is no room.

4:00 room real

The room is part of one of the other two realms (that is Heaven or Hell, not Earth) that Great's dad mentioned to Tyme's granny when praising her cooking in the unreal timeline.

She really saw Great in the room. (Actually, I didn't pick up on that, so it may not be true. But others have written about Lukwa seeing Great there.)

We know from her telling us that she had a boyfriend at the time it happened, and that she doesn't have a boyfriend now, that her near death experience didn't happen at the same time as Great's.

So the 4:00 room is timeless. But then why are there only two or three people there?

4:00 room clown

I think the 4:00 room doesn't exist. It's part of Lukwa's fever dream.

time jump unreal

That's the most likely explanation.

time jump real

Time for season two.

time jump clown

Lukwa's 4 minute jump is as real as Great's, no more, no less.

Unresolved Issues That I Hope They'll Answer in Episode 8

(And my guesses.)

What happened to View? Is she even alive? (She's dead, sorry.)

Why did Tonkla have a vision of Dome alive? It begins at the hospital where Tonkla wouldn't have seen it. Plus it starts with a nurse present. (Hungry ghosts, see #6 above)

Does Tonkla ever get to bareback? Someone said Win did it but I only remember one sex scene with Win and it was condomized. (No. Nobody is going to bareback Tonkla and it will drive him to further murders if he doesn't get killed himself.)

Do Den and Lukwa become an item? (Of course. Why do you even have to ask?)

Is Lukwa alive? I think yes but I've seen others say no. (Yeah, unless I'm right about #6, then no. She could still wind up with Den a la He's Coming to Me.)

Why was Manee in the tunnel? I think she was pushed into the path of Great's car. But I have nothing to support this - it's just that it would be more interesting. (Like I said. I think she was pushed.)

What is the 4:00 room? (It's one of the three realms, but isn't Earth.)

Do Lukwa and Great ever meet and talk about their 4 minute jumping experiences? (No.)

Does Great live? (Yes.)

Does Tyme live? (No. Sorry.)

Okay, I'm down clowning, at least for now.

See you on the other side of episode 8!

[dreamtydraw]

hi there!! so I was recently looking for visual novels to occupy my time with, and I came across 21 questions, so I played it. and I loved it. so I played tulipe. and I liked that one a lot too. then I checked out your social media and I was really curious about the ✨️paranormal club lore✨️, so I just played all of them-

I didn't realize it when I was playing the game, but I've seen a lot of your our life art here on tumblr and I can't get over how pretty it is! even when it's just doodles that you do for fun, I still really like your style cause you make everyone look so nice. even if you're just drawing clem in a clown suit, we still love that

I don’t usually draw anymore because even though I used to like it, I feel like I lack all motivation to do it now, but seeing your art is really giving me inspiration to pick up a paper and a pencil and start drawing again :D

I personally share your love for visual novels, and I enjoy replaying yours because they're honestly so nice. I guess I just like seeing the way the story progresses and how relatable the characters feel, especially as a non-binary person who struggles to see themselves represented in games. plus I just like the voice acting in 21 questions

if I'm honest, even if it wasn't my usual genre of romance, night shift was a good play as well, especially for your first game! I can feel the inspiration from horror games and I love those types of things sm. I get why you'd wanna go back and redo it someday, but I think especially in terms of the plot and characters, it had a captivating plot and it was well written... françoise betrayed us tho rip

also this isn't about the games but from what I've seen, it honestly feels like you're a really nice person who happens to be really talented and so you deserve really nice things. even if you haven't been getting them until now, I hope you do start because you deserve it!! I like reading your visual novel rambles bc I agree with a lot of stuff, just me nodding my head in agreement like I wouldn't look crazy if anyone saw me. and it feels nice to see that people still talk about fictif stories to this day cause god they've been collecting dust 😭 I miss those days where I'd be so excited whenever an update was announced... guess I'll never get my rime route now :(

lastly, I just wanna say that I love clem sm. they're literally so cool but still so adorable and I wanna give them all the love and affection. I want us to bake together and then paint each other's nails 💅

and this question has been keeping me awake at night so I just have to ask, I know that at the end of the game he said we'd keep in contact like aurore and her partner, but would they let mc just. follow them to London while he does his thing? there's no point in being in France without your blond french, and I've always wanted to move to an english speaking place anyways... clem can put me in their suitcase, I'll be good 🫶

thank you for listening to my silly rambles, I hope you're having a good day and if not, I really hope it gets better! remember to take care of yourself and take breaks whenever you need them, you're only human so you aren't always gonna be perfect, but at least you know you always try your best even if things don't go the way you want them to <3

Anon whoever you are I love you and I really wish you a wonderful day I started sobbing a bit too hard and now my eyes kinda hurt a bit but your message makes me feel a lot of things and I’m really grateful for such kindness. I’m fucking crying on my poor plushies cause I don’t have tissue, they are all wet and miserable 😭😭😭😭 Words trully can’t explain how much this message means to me, like, this is the kind of message that i’ll keep in my phone gallery to look at when i feel sad and it’s just so sweet and it rassure all the bad things I think about myself so I’m very emotional. It’s 2 am and I had a very long day so I physically and emotionally don’t handle it well but i promise it’s / pos i’m just blabling incoherent thoughts just to say thank you so much and I’m glad you enjoy what I create and I’m glad you draw again and I hope you find joy in making stuff you like + you get soft and cold pillow at night and warm meals in winter anon.

Now i am so sad to spread bad news BUT…. The canon ending of 21 questions is the platonic ending. 21q happens in 2019, Clem move to London in 2021 and ( spoiler alert ) will be spotted in Apple bag which takes place in 2022. Clem’s character and story haven’t entirely been revealed in his game for reasons that I’ll hopefully share in a futur but it’s for the same reasons that realistically… the relationship in 21q is destined to end with distance.

BUT that not the end if you imagine a future with Clem. If your intention is to romance them then there is an open window for the timeline where he’s a bit older. When exactly ? I won’t spoil but all I have to say is that this relationship can work on long term ! It’s just a good person, wrong moment situation and once you know everything about him, then his romance options become more real :}

Mystic talk sorry, like i said i just had an emotional breakdown and it’s late so i will shut my mouth and go to sleep ! Once again thank you so much for your kind words an hopefully you’ll like what I plan to release in the future. Tons of love ❤️

[respitelocklyre]

Can't have SHIT in Strixhaven 🤦

[The following was never actually posted and exists only as a draft in Respite's socials]

I swear, can't one thing just be normal here? 😭 Or like can't it at least be weird in a fun way and not a scary, near-death-experience-waiting-to-happen way??? It's annoying enough my date night turned into a group date night, but now my date night's turning into a whole-ass rescue mission. And like, yeah, of COURSE I'm not gonna say no to freeing a bunch of enslaved people from a horrible hag now that we KNOW about it, but I wish Sersh hadn't gone digging in the first place. Like, ignorance is bliss, y'know?

I guess I shouldn't complain 😮‍💨 Like, obvs the market workers have it worse with the whole stolen souls and enslavement thing. It just feels like a big ask, is all. idk, im glad Jav is bringing some backup at least. His party seems pretty good from what I could gather. Even if I am dreading seeing Rubina again 😬 I haven't talked to her much since Thad fucking SNUBBED her in the cafe after she helped us. No hard feelings, I hope 🙄

OH And y'know what one of the worst parts is?? I got some GREAT footage to post an update about the market on my socials tomorrow- Mire adopted this crazy peacock-hawk hybrid bird (peakhawk?) and I won a super cool magical deck of cards from a little jackalope man!! 🃏🪄🎩 He did some really impressive card tricks! And now I can't even use any of it because...

Wait, fuck, I'm gonna have to make a whole other video where I explain that I didn't know this place was run by a hag that uses slave labor when I made my FIRST video supporting it. I guess on the flip side, callout posts usually get a lot of traction. Actually, I'll keep filming. Then I can still use the other footage to garner sympathy for the workers. This can still work in my favor ✍️

Anyways, I should probably stay focused till we finish up here because it kinda sounded like Willow's sister, Meadow, might be in some kinda danger too. She apparently got all involved with this fae crown that's cursed and drives people mad, but the crown ended up here in the market. Some rando named Gleeful Lee has it now i guess and they're the main performer here. We'll probably learn more about the crown and the deck of many things once we free everyone, so that's our plan atm. Me, Mire, Sersh, Thad are just chilling until the show starts, and then we're gonna slink around and find those contracts while everyone's distracted.

[pkmnnursecass]

Ciao!

Hey there Rotomblr! I saw some of my coworkers talking about this app, so I decided to try it out! Name’s Cassidy, but you can call me Cass! I’m a big fan of She/Her pronouns, so use those for me if you'd please! I’m an aide down at that new Pokémon Center in Freezington, Galar. Nice to meet everyone!

Here’s my Trainer Card and a pic of me! Hope you can see them- I still have no idea how this site works lmao

Anyway, I'm from Castelia City in Unova! I spent a few years studying abroad in Kalos, and now I'm working in the Crown Tundra at the new Center they set up! I loooove astrology, cooking (especially curry), reading, movies and cardgames!!! I still don’t know a lot about Pokémon, but I’m good at taking care of them! I hope so, anyway. Lemme talk a little bit about my own!

Valentine - Ribombee: my first partner! I caught her when my family was vacationing in Alola way back. She's soooo adorable, and helps me out at the Center a ton!!

Chime - Chingling: my second Pokémon! I found him while studying in Kalos. He's more like emotional support for me, honestly. He's just as cute as Val!

Chansey: I got her from my employer (which I guess is the region???? Idk). She's very cool, and I think we work well together!

Lumi - Metang: Lumi was given to me by a friend in Kalos! They don't understand Galarian very well...and I'm no good at Kalosian...but I think they like it up here!! And they help out a lot!!!

Cheri - Spritzee: My newest team member!!! I caught her in Hammerlocke during my vacation (it keeps happening lol) She's super sweet!!!

That’s all for now! I can share my dreams and aspirations later, lol. Feel free to talk to me about anything- Pokémon, life, good recipes, movie recs, card games…like I said, anything!!!! It’s real lonely up here in the tundra, so any interaction is welcome!

Ciao! 🩷

(OOC stuff under the cut \/)

Update 1/7/24: Decided to update this, to offer more information and just generally be less cluttered! Also got rid of Cass' middle name, because that was lame and I forgot about it

Howdy! This is a Pokemon IRL Blog run by @skrelpson. As such, there's a major unreality warning for all of it! This blog runs off of mainly game/anime canon, with a sprinkle of headcanons throughout! Maybe I'll talk more about that later. idk!

Rules .｡.:*☆:

No NSFW! If you send any asks in that nature, you'll be blocked.

Magic Anons are off! They'll probably stay off, too. Just not comfy with that...yknow yknow

Pelipper Mail is on...ish! You can send things in, but please nothing like surprise gift Pokemon. Cass isn't equipped to deal with that right now! I will just ignore any mail that doesn't really jive with what's going on.

This is a low stakes blog! Cass might get into minor events, but for the most part it's just chill vibes in the tundra.

Speaking of, if you'd ever want to include me in some sort of RP (again, mainly low-stakes!), feel free to DM me! Just like specify what's going on. My writing RP skills are kinda rusty, but I can make it work! :]

Sapient Pokemon and the like can interact!

Basic DNI critera- Transphobes, racists, anti-seminists...etcetera...

In general, I'm not a very outgoing person. I gotta work up a lotta courage to try and talk to people! Especially people I don't know! And it might take me time to respond to a reblog, message, etc...it doesn't mean I don't want to interact! I'm just terrified of being online :p

Any ask game I reblog will be permanently open!!! Feel free to send in asks for any of them. Since that sounds a little daunting, here's a list of all the ones I've reblogged! Just PLEASE please please please include the question and not just the emoji...PLEASE

(I'll update this like...once every other month or something)

Find Out the Little Things!

Press A to Interact (This one doesn't really have a name? Ack sorry)

Roto Leak!

Pokéblr Ask Game

Curry Ingredient Ask Game

Assign a Pokémon Ability

Favorite Pokémon for Each Type

Sharing Story Aspects You're Excited For (I would label this one Pen(ny) for your thoughts if I wasn't a coward)

The ID was made using Pokecharm’s legacy Trainer Card Maker

The Picrew can be found here: [Link]

PREVIOUS ARCS (+Tags!)

The Lime Water Saga - a joke arc about Cass putting too many lime slices in her water bottle. Can be found under #lime water saga

Vocational Vacation - Cass tours Galar! She visits landmarks, takes pictures of ponies, and doesn't see the northern lights. Found under #vocational vacation arc

[spookyspecterino]

Hey everyone!

Just to give you all an update-

I'm 90% moved into my new apartment and I'm hoping that things will settle down now. For a while I was on that 9-5 grind and then going back to my new home and just unpacking, setting things up, and sleeping. It was rough and I had no energy to write at all.

That being said, I'm still working on my Tangerine fic. Chapter 7 is pretty much the halfway point in the story, and I want to finish it out strong. It may be delayed a little longer, I want to write out a few chapters at the same time and post them on a schedule (like I should have done at the start-- but you live and learn, right?).

I'll be 100% honest with you all... the Tangerine hyperfixation has been slipping, my attention span can only hold onto things for so long.

My current plan is to finish out my ideas for Tangerine while writing other short stuff on the side that I personally have more of an interest in. I'd feel super guilty if I didn't finish my fics (even though this is a free hobby, that's personally how I feel).

This update, in part, is to let everyone know that you'll be seeing different stuff from me at the same time.

Now, lets address the House of Dragons shit posting...

It's safe to say that this show is my new obsession. I love me some Harwin Strong and that tall freak Aemond Targaryen. I have ideas and I have plans. (If anyone wants to see some fics for them I could possibly make that happen...just let me know.)

As I get more time, I'd like to explore many different fandoms and even return to a few. (FC5 still eats at me--those Seed boys won't leave me alone and it doesn't help that it's my comfort game. I'm also playing cyberpunk for the first time...some of you can already guess as to who I like...)

I wish I could, but unfortunately I can't limit myself to a single fandom, my brain will shrivel up and I'll hate it. This is always how it's been and I really don't want to just abandon my blog altogether if it means staying exclusively in the bullet train fandom.

If multi-fandoms aren't your thing, I totally get it, and that's ok! Thanks for spending time with me and reading my stuff! <3

Anyway, that's all. Thanks for all the love and support, you all really inspire me to do my best! Here's to many more fics in the future!

<3 <3 <3

[noro-noro-noro]

limbus company related dream a little bit. idk I'll readmore this off mobile

first we were all on the bus but it was a normal bus as per usual & it was a mix of regular students withthe sinners. I was assigned to be on meursault's team for the recent project we were here to do, but first rraffic was really bad so we couldn't even get close to our destination. it passed by my highschool..my sister was on another smaller bus with some of my old friends from my HS Chinese class & she was texting me updates too.

the project had something to do with this other place? it's a space or is in the real world? hat was a series of small rocky islands out in the open ocean with no other land in sight, & when the tide came in it started raining and the water level increased so drastically that barely anything remained above it - instead, you had to walk carefully along the now sunken ridges. there were npcs there that were dredging for treasure, or solving puzzles, or digging through the sand in some places, or doing research. each island had a different type of fruit tree on it. i had vague knowledge of the locations of the NPCs - I'd been here before. the flailing man was on the cherry tree island. the last guy that I'd found for the achievement talk to everyone was only there during high tide next to a small spire in an otherwise unoccupied sector. I shared this info with a dude also from my HS Chinese class who we can call Brandon.

our project had to have something relevant to those islands. i don't remember what the project topic me & meur picked & I was annoyed w him at first but eventually warmed up to him bc he did want to help he just had a really weird way of showing it. & also fortunately my tendency to talk to myself out loud and ask questions meant that he always answered the questions for me rather than his whole "I'll only help/speak/share my thoughts of prompted" bit, so I felt like we became friends.

anyway we eventually got to somehwere els - some kind of vampire mansion giant university building. there w as a cutscenes at some point that explained the levels of some secret spy society we were part of, kind of similar to fixers but I guess our organization was more secret and underground. the ranks were like 1-3, & then there was a rumor about the "broken lock" rank that was even higher than rank 3 but nobody knew anything about it. rem trigun had also been part of this organization but she disappeared many years ago.

anyway, vampire mansion. somewhat isolated from so society but there was still a city within reasonable driving distance. we were at the top of a snowy mountain overlooking the sea, evergreen trees all snowed onblockong the view. anyway this was not great. the vampires were hospitalable at first & gave us fancy tours of the area, and then they wouldn't let us leave .there were a husband and wife pair. a lot happened before this that I've missed, but we had to do things to ingratiate ourselves with them lest we become meals. I remember proving to the male vampire that I could fight decently after he threw a weapon at me. the weapon was like....a chain with a small rubber corpse at the end that looked like those stupid dogs from that inexplicably popular blue dog children's show. there were still bones & all insife of it but the outside was rubber so I just heard the bones and then wet squelch when swinging it around. at that time he was with me, Sinclair, & meur.

but after a while I managed to escape by faking my sleep in a room they not so surreptitiously locked me in, but there was a screen door + door combo to the outside behind some stacked boxes I guess they'd forgotten about. both unlocked. I wanted to go to the next room and let meur know , but they were doing something to him in there & there was no guarantee we'd be able to find our way back to this part of the mansions, let alone even sleep here again, & if the vanpire saw me it'd be ruined. this opportunity likely wouldn't come again. despite my regrets, I realized that, so I just left.

the wife vampire noticed me immediately. neither of them looked like your typical sexy vampire btw the usband looked like a middle aged history teacher & the wife appeared like a somewhat out of shape 60-70 year old white lady. if you could gender swap Nicolas cage's dad from national treasure. anyway I partially woke up around now & could control the dream so I was just always one step ahead of her. still a scary chase ensued.

I made it to a car is found thekeys for - a large black SUV, & opened the sunroof with my mind so i could leap in & close it behind me. the lady - her familiar, idk what kind of animal it was, banged on the winfows instead, & I peeled outta there in reverse. once I was in the forest I'd created some space so I managed to swivel around & get facing the right way, but I saw her in my rearview mirror flying right at me face all contorted in rage & continued to floor it down the mountain road at night. fortunately she never thought to cut me off.

eventually I realized she probably had a tracker on the car & I needed to ditch it, & presently made it to some cliffside hotel overlooking the beach, first stop towards the city from the mansion, & leapt out of the car as it went over the cliff. I managed to somehow instantly summon a baby pink rental car (small) &slapped a cringe sticker on the back windshield & peacefully headed down the road. I saw the vampire fly into the parking lot where I'd ditched the car by driving it into the ocean but then was afraid to look at her any more. in dreams if I can see it it can see me. she flew off towards the city shortly after & I realized I couldn't go home anymore. I'd have to start over. well, at least she couldn't track my accounts by smell.

there was a bit of a time skip. now I was renting a space in an apartment complex that looked like my elementary school near the junction between the cafeteria/gym hallway, the hallway towards the principal's office, & the 4th/5th/languages & other electives hallway. it was pretty busy but I stopped to check the bulletin board anyway. a few ither people were also checking it there were dramatic anime style namedrops for each of them that revealed they were undercover agents for the same society, in the unlocked tier. and then cut to me - I was also one of them now. I'd figured it out. I'd escaped from the rank 3 fate, though I still felt guilty for everybody that I'd abandoned in the vampire mansion. we had a conversation & we wondered if rem trigun was still above us in this after her disappearanc, & we discussed being found out. then there was a TV announcement about the new sinner IDs & the rose workshop meur was there looking completely terrible as he does & I felt really bad like it was my fault he was so tired lol