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simluvbot · 3 years

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Enhypen as dates they would take you on <3

tags: gn!reader, established relationship au, fluff, bf! enha

members: all members !!

wc: 400-800ish for each member ?? this is very long uh I’m sorry I got carried away

a/n: hi, welcome to my first piece of writing on this blog 😁😁 I tried to write so that these matched the members and their personalities the most! Also as this is my first post any interaction is so cherished 🥺 but anyways,, I hope you enjoy :D

open to read

Heeseung

he would take you to so many fun places!!

Your dates would consist of going bowling together, theme parks, a walk in the park — you can count on having a fun time with heeseung!

He would just want to impress you );

He’s be always so attentive to you and remember even the littlest of details about you

You’d be in a shop together looking around and he’ll tap your shoulder, showing you a lace shirt that you instantly fall in love with

It’s just your style!

You’d ask him how he knew you would like it, to which he would simply mumble with, “you told me a few months ago that you like shirts like this.”

You’d just stand in shock like :ooo

Not even you remember telling him that ):

Please he loves you so much, if it’s something that you tell him you like or don’t like, he’ll immediately store it in his memory! He wants to know so much more about you 🥺

Your dates are definitely what you look forward to whenever you see him!!

As much as you love fun day outs with him, you also love your chiller night dates at him <3

Meeting each other late at night after practice? A must!! No way can you let your hee go home alone when he’s the last leaving the practice room after a long day ):<

You would often surprise him by showing up at belift at ungodly hours, and as much as he would scold you with a light frown for coming to see him when it’s already half past midnight,,

You still always catch that small little smile he has whenever you do surprise him hehe

to be aware of just the fact that youre there? is enough for him. you ground him and its especially those spontaneous dates youll throw upon him and inevitably show him without the words uttered that you care for him and you love him?

those are secretley his fave (: but he doesnt have to tell you that - youve already guessed :D

But at the same time on those late night after-practice dates he just wants to make sure that you’re not staying up too late all the time just to make sure he’s doing okay after practice, his y/nnie needs their sleep too ):

And what you’ll do together? Eat ramen of course!!

Although these little late night dates with him usually dont last no longer than an hour, he still treasures them so dearly in his heart ):

Hee sometimes needs a lot of love and assurance, even if he doesn’t mention it

And you’re the best at making him feel better instantly 🥺

but we seriously cant forget about your daytime dates too! each date of yours is always filled with so so many jokes and giggles that your hearts burn with longing for the other whenever you part ways ):

i can see that he’ll even store the memory of your dates even weeks after they’ve happened - he’ll store those memories of you; all in his heart (and the polaroid he took of you in the back of his phonecase 😳) and tucked close.

Jake

as for dates, to me he seems the type to be into really spontaneous and random things!! He’d love going somewhere fun or just simply randomly travelling with you without a destination!

He especially loves to sneak out of the dorm late at night and meet you at you and his favourite park.

It’s located at the top of a really tall hill, and you’ll both spend hours sitting on the swings, chatting away with little care for the rest of the world or the time as you both simply giggle at each other’s jokes and contentedly talk about anything and everything; watching the city lights glow from hundreds of metres below you

He’d offer you his jacket when the temperature drops by a few degrees suddenly

You’d be like no!! It’s okay you should also stay warm, I’m okay 🥺

But then because he is such a sweetheart he’d huff and sit next to you on the swing, making the single-seater far too cramped as he tries to supply you with his body heat if that’s the only way that you’ll accept not freezing to death 😠

But then you’ll both slip due to there not being enough space for both of you on the wing, and your both fall flat down on your butts lmao

You’d both freeze, staring at each other blankly on the floor

but then you’d both crack up and laugh for the longest time — hushing each other in-between giggles from the fear of maybe you were being a bit too loud and could wake some people up?

But then you’d both fall into giggling messes once again as you blame each other for causing the other to fall down ):

You’d eventually sit together huddled on a bench, sitting in silence and simply staring out at seoul’s twinkling night lights as you share his leather jacket: heavy and warm as it drapes across you and his’ shoulders

But eventually you’d both finally head home! — your eyelids soon growing too heavy and both of you afraid of accidentally falling asleep at a park at 1am lmfao

idk why but i can just see a lot of late-night dates with jake,, such as

baking cookies together at 1am???? probably has happened twice already in your relationship aha 😁

honestly you both spend so much time together casually that you end up arguing on whether that time where he randomly showed up at your house wanting to make relationship bracelets together was really a date or not lmao

he is also so <3 so incredibly sweet too though uGH. he is a sweetheart and like heeseung he will remember every little detail of you which will be useful for when he comes up with more date ideas in the future (

on dates such as eating at a restaurant together he will always bring you flowers like the gentleman he is.

it’s kinda funny because when youre both on a date together alone with no other people around you both become complete crackheads

but when meeting in front of others he acts so mature and serious suddenly lmao ??

but honestly he just trusts and loves you so so much that he doesnt even feel like he needs to act a certain way or try to become someone complteley different on a date just to impress you

but its okay because you love the duality of jake sim <3

someone get me him pls. i want one </3

Jay

With jay, shopping dates ??? yes of course (;

he’d simply love taking you out either down a road with many well-known clothing brands or maybe even the mall, entering several clothing stores with you

he never mentions it, but its obvious how much he simply adores seeing you wear the clothes he picks out for you :D

oh and matching couple outfits are obviously always chosen whenever you go out on these fashion dates!!

he will pick out a selection of items he thinks will look good on you, and - to admit it to himself: he does a pretty good damn job

tell me why this boy will get so flustered whenever he sees you walk out of the changing room,, looking so pretty in what he chose for you ??

he’d also one day surprise you on a date with matching couple bracelets :D

you’ll get so excited and he’ll get so shy and try to hide his smile as you compliment how good his sense of style is !! and as much as he denies the fact that he’s blushing you luckily do manage to snap some pics as evidence of the rosy colour in his cheeks hehe

and especially earlier on in the relationship, he’ll always try his best and prepare cute little dates for you both )): and the members would tease him to DEATH for how unbelievably soft and considerate he is when doing things for you when he is so cranky towards them lmfao

chill dates (:

walking in the park together, getting ice cream, going for late night drives and listening to music together </3 with jay it never has to be complicated

Just as long as he gets to be with you, talk with you and touch you then that’s more than enough for him (: he just likes to be in your company

and Idk why I can just see this but he wILL have playground dates with you. dont question it

Because like ?? hanging out on the swings or climbing frame of a kids park at 11PM when there’s no one else there but you both?? Talking and swinging quietly next to each other? very romantic to me hmm

Yes <3

he will stare at you as he silently swings a back and forth a little; brushing the hair out of your face and looking at you with so so much love in his eyes it’s unbelievable

he especially loves just relaxing with you. watching a show on the tv together while cuddling and staying close to each other is something he loves

hearing your giggles and listening to you talk while engaging in teasing banter where he’ll pretend to think the things you say are stupid by scoffing and rolling his eyes when in reality his heart is swelling and he’s trying so hard not to laugh at how cute you are?

shut UP

those are definitely one of his favourite types of dates with you

he’ll constantly try to impress you and will be willing to try so many different things with you

i can see him as either being openly interested about going on typical couple dates together such as painting or eating at romantic restaurants,, or every time you mention something of the sort he’ll be groaning at yet another mention of the ‘couple bucket list’ you had created lol

but actually he’s secretly really excited for that couple mug-painting session you booked for you both. but he will never tell you that 😳

in conclusion, with jay it really never has to be something complex for you both to enjoy your dates <3 he just loves being in your company, even if its one of those nights where you both share no words between the cuddling and content sighs and various little soft kisses he presses to your forehead.

sunghoon

with sunghoon gOSH

whatever you two get up to, it’d be so so soft and gentle and perfect and just ):

he would always ask the members what to take you out on as a date and you bet his naver search history would consist of questions like ‘what does my s/o like’ and ‘where should i take out my partner on a date’ lmao

he just wants to make you happy and comfy ):

dates with him are usually really cute!! Like going to cafes, going ice skating etc!

But you’d also love those dates at home with him, giggling shyly as you both sit together and watch a film 🥺

he LOVES those dates! he always gets so shy whenever he comes over and it takes him a little while to get comfortable enough with you to even hold your hand pls

So when he one day pulls you in closer from where you’re sitting side by side on the couch,, bringing you closer and tucking you under his arm ??

You’re so so surprised, and you feel your heart clench a little at how gentle he is with you and how he’s finally opening up ):

And from then on,, he only will become more and more comfortable with you!!! To the point where he’ll start pouting a lil when you don’t snuggle up next to him on the sofa like you usually do );

So cuddle dates with hoon? Yes you bet they’re his fave!!

and then when its quickly approaching your 100 days anniversary, he’ll be wracking his brains for so long trying to decide what to do for you

but then it will hit him like a light bulb switching on!

he’ll suddenly remember you mentioning this specific thing that you really liked and would want to do one day, and guess what he would plan for u both!!

he’d prepare 💔💔 a picnic 💔💔 for you 💔💔

ugh youre so lucky

he’d text you the day before your anniversary telling you to expect to go on a date with him the day after and to dress up prettily :D

he’d wake up super early on the day of the date, preparing all of your favourite foods and meals into a cute lil basket ):

and when you finally both meet at a really rEALLY pretty secluded area that you somehow had no idea existed despite you living in the area for so long - you’d maybe start tearing up??

because your boyfriend is so so sweet and you never saw this coming from him at all ):

and he’d just stand there shyly in front of the picnic he set up, hand at the back of his head and looking down; cute lil blush tainting his cheeks from how nervous he is!

but then you’d run over and give him a big, big hug, exxclaiming how much you appreciate what he did for you and how youre so so incredibly sorry for not bringing him something as well to celebrate your anniversary (you were dying inside fo guilt please!! how could u forget to get him something when he went out of his way like this for you )): )

but he’d simply shake his head, smiling and not minding at all

because if he gets to see you happy, gets to see those twinkling eyes of yours that just stare up at him with so so much love before bringing him in for a sweet kiss - then he simply doesnt mind at all.

r u crying at this like i am lol

sunoo

sunoo absoloutely adores you.

and he cant stay away from you !! lmao

you’ll leave after a date and ten minutes after youve arrived you’ll get a text from him saying how much he already misses you and wants to see his bun again ):

but its okay!! because y’all would meet up again really soon again :D

sunoo really doesnt mind what you both do together, he just loves being in your company !! if he’s doing something with you, its certain that he will have so much fun and be so so comfy!

you often like to go to cinemas together, watching a film

film/drama marathons are also something that you both do very very often as a date! he loves it when you hug him tight and throw a leg over his as you both lie down in his dorm bed/your bed, watching something on your laptop

he is very very cuddly and whenever you both do have cuddle dates/sessions (which is all the time btw) he’ll like it when you absentmindedly play with his fingers or stroke your hands through his hair soothingly

and then he’ll complain and whine when you stop lmao

seriously though, without a question if either of you meet at either his dorm or your house - its always: ‘so what are we gonna watch?’

he also likes doing very very cute couple-y activities with you! of course he does,, youre his baby ):

(he’s more YOUR baby actually - but he doesnt need to know about that shh hehe)

funfair dates where you will go on a ferris wheels and eat cotton candy together? sharing a kiss when you reach the top? yes! and so is going to those sets designed for couples to take cute photos together as a lil photoshoot!

he is so so sweet with you ):

and has it been mentioned yet that you’ll go on food dates? this is a very obvious date you both do very often !!

going to food markets and trying out different street foods from different vendors? yes.

having mini dates at the korean convinience store late at night where you’ll both sit by the window and eat tteokbokki & ramen together? yes.

its all honestly really really chill, but he also knows when to be serious when he needs to (:

he’ll take you out to the your favourite restaurants often!

and whenever youre celebrating something he’ll take you to a really good and famous restaurant with mouth-watering food, and you’ll be left wondering for the longest time how on earth he managed to get a seat in since its always so booked

or ordering take-out is good too :D

in conclusion (because i just realised how long this is help 😭): dates with sunoo are always a variety of fun activities which always leave you feeling tired yet so, so happy and content at the end of the day !!

he loves you so much <3

Jungwon

Since you both go to the same school, a lot of your little dates are actually spent there

He’s pretty shy with you at times,, but when you’re both alone it’s then that dates with him are usually so so goofy and silly; days filled with his teasing and your eye rolls and giggles.

Meeting at the rooftop before school to simply talk and giggle and drink chocolate milk? Yes.

Staying after school for small study sessions in the library? Yes.

With jungwon, you’re not able to see him as much between school and him being an idol, so every little moment together means so much to both of you ):

To me jungwon also seems like a cuddler!!! cause like?? Have you seen him ?? Tell me he doesn’t look so soft

So, dates at home when he’s free where you can both cuddle together in your bed while eating and doing homework? They’re so so cosy,, and definitely your favourite kinda dates!! not to mention that your parents absolutely adore him too

With jungwon, lots of lil spontaneous dates are definitely his and yours trademark (‘:

He’ll turn up at your house randomly with a grin and dimple poking at his cheek, holding a bag of convenience store food and asking you if you want to go on a date with him even if it’s 10pm and dark outside lmfao

And then he’ll take you to an arcade!

You’ll be the only ones there and he’s keep flexing about how he’s going to win you this cat plush from the claw machine because he says it looks like him

He’d try several times and end up spending almost 8,000 won on the machine trying to win you this plush and at this point he’s already making up several excuses about how oh, ‘it’s rigged’ or ‘give me one more chance I will get it this time!!’

You’d giggle at how he grows flustered, gently asking him if you could have a go for fun, sighing and with him and agreeing on the fact that the claw machine is definitely rigged

You’d complain together; scolding the machine and asking it to please be nice and stop ruining your date when it’s then that the claw actually picks up a plush and you’re both like ;oo

You’d both stay stood in shock as the cat plush is dropped into the receiving box, before laughing loudly

He’d stand there flustered, blush tainting his cheek before he just walks away 🚶🏻‍♂️

You’d quickly pick up the cat plush and chase after him, giggles tumbling out your lips

and uhm after that you beTTER go check up on your boy and see if his ego wasnt too damaged by that 😤

so of course you’d wrap your arms around him from behind, tucking your face into the back of his neck ): and pressing gentle kisses where you know he’s ticklish until he finally relents, a small grin and dimple lighting up his face

and phEW because you thought he was upset ): but he laughs and says youre better at the claw machine than he is so,, all good dont worry !! 🥺

It’d end up being him taking the cat plush home, which you both name ‘jungwon-two’ because of how much it actually looks like him 😭

Expect many references and inside jokes to that date and jungwon-two in the future

and tbh you love dates with won so so much. theyre so fun plus they’re always secret.

and whenever you’re out doing whatever the hell you both get up to,

It’s like there is no one else in the world. It’s just you, and him, and the blooming you both feel in your chests.

Niki

I don’t know but I can just see niki as being so romantic

You’re both young, and although niki is the biggest dork and always likes to play around and make jokes 24/7 - he’s also so mature compared to the other boys your age

So would he take you out to a date where he’d set up classically romantic candles and rose petals for you both to eat at for your 1 month anniversary? Yes ):

And you’d be so speechless and shocked as you blush quietly and thank him before he‘s accidentally knocking over his glass of water all over the table cloth and you’re laughing out loud

But expect every other date with him to be filled with so so much food and comfort!

He’d feel so comfy around you, and really the only word he thinks is perfectly able to describe you is home. He thinks you feel like home to him.

So he’d show you all of this favourite things, the things closest to his heart and you can’t help but feel your own heart clench at how much you adore this boy

He’d take you out to traditional Japanese restaurants and show you his favourite foods from back home and teach you the customs of how to eat sushi

You’d 100% be so so interested and excited whenever he reveals to you a vulnerable part of him, and he’d stare at you so lovingly as he kisses your cheek, blushing and smiling like the 15 year old he is

Ugh ): niki ):

Dance dates!!

You claim you can’t dance to save your life LMFAO (or maybe you can 😳?) but he only grins shyly instead as he takes you to a small dance studio he rented (he didn’t want to take you the belift building where there would be other people - he’d want you to feel completely comfortable).

You’d simply stand there with your mouth dropped open as you watch him freestyle to a random song he put on like it’s nothing

You’d spend the day getting taught some moves by him and although you’re sure you look like a cat getting electrocuted, he still smiles and nods and even claps, giving you compliments and teasing remarks

Overall, dates with niki are so so fun and goofy and perfect. You feel your heart swell every time he takes you out on another little adventure, feeling so complete and carefree between his warm hugs, jokes and words that he has to say to you

(’:

#enhypen headcanons #enhypen fluff #enhypen reactions #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen fic #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen jake #enhypen ot7 #enhypen sunoo #enhypen heeseung #enhypen jungwon #kpop imagines

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harley-style · 4 years

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mcyt brain rot for you all

this is both anysis and headcanon and au scenario, all blended together. you're welcome :D

----------

i have this headcanon,,,, cobbled together by some tumblr posts i read,,,, but some of them point out that wilbur is like, good at manipulating people as well to a point, right?

so i was thinking. what if his reach extended far beyond what anyone thought of? *what if wilbur's influence spread to dream?*

i know we've discussed this before (or sparrow analyzed it idk) but like. hear me out. this headcanon has to do with how wilbur wants to create a narrative. pit it against dream and his presumed original desires to create a safe happy place for his friends. wilbur's insistence that dream is the "tyrant". what if wilbur saw how dream was pointedly staying out of conflict, decided, "i dont like that," and began twisting the storyline and pulled dream's strings (pointedly off camera bc headcanons, babyyyy) so that dream would eventually fall into ruin, as the disgraced tyrant?

and dream...he KNOWS what wilbur's doing. to him specifically. and he's struggling so hard at the beginning, judging by his soft, passive demeanor when wilbur asks about the tnt.

i think, that somewhere along the line, dream lost sight of where his boundaries lied, and falls right into wilbur's plot pit and became The Villain. and he's like, fuck. I went and done it, oh no.

and....it worsens.

i had this whole scenario in my head that dream fully embraces the villain role, plays wilbur's game and completes the "narrative"...but is so fed up with wilbur and his stupid fucking ploys that he...bends the rules a little. changes shit up.

something...oh, a little like "lets speedrun my fall into villainy" bc it wouldn't be dream without the speedrun.

fast forward to prison. maybe if dream finally gets to resurrect wilbur. and wilbur is Not Pleased with how dream has decided to handle his narrative.

but its like. dream doesn't give two shits about wilbur's goddamn narrative anymore. he **played wilbur's game**. he's done with his role. he's given them peace, given them a happy end.

sure, he's given the rest plenty of trauma, but hey, it all turned out okay in the end, right? theyve got their happy ending. theyve BEATEN the big bad nightmare. his role is OVER.

but wilbur doesnt like it. doesnt like the lengths dream went to. it wasn't supposed to be like this. dream wasn't supposed to turn out this much of a *monster.*

and dream laughs. "will, wilby, wilbur," he croons madly, in his pretty little cell, preening like a cat. "i dont care," he hisses. "you fucking wanted this. you WANTED me to be this way. right? mr. revolutionary man? come on now, dont tell me you never expected this."

and wilbur tries to protest, but dream cuts him off.

"no. NO. dont' play your stupid littke games on me wilbur. you udnerstand? im DONE. im so sick of your bullshit, your countries your wars and your stupid fucking "story". I WANTED PEACE AND SAFETY. ALL i asked was "hey, don't be jerks, we're all one big community," and you didn't even have the DECENCY to just adhere to those rules, not even a little bit! you -- i let you in here because of TOMMY, you know that? the reason you even got to BE in this world was because tommy "vouched" for you. said you would be a great addition. and tommy-- i loved that kid back then, you know? he was bright and annoying and he made the server FUN. you took that brilliance, took that kid, and turned him against me, against ALL of us -- for what? independence? I HANDED YOU INDEPENDENCE AND YOU SPAT IT IN MY FACE LIKE IT WAS THE MOST VILE THING YOUVE EVER RECEIVED. i didnt even ENFORCE my rules, they were so loose literally EVERYONE broke them at some point.

but you? you had the audacity to call me a tyrant. to call me selfish, greedy, controlling. and then you declared war. the pet wars, the first disc wars weren't even close to the intensity you brewed during the revolution.

you had this little ideal in your head. and ill have to hand it to you, it was certainly impressive. but you didnt need to press it, to pressure it on the people of my server. you did anyway. you created this plot, this scheme to paint me as the villain, as the final boss. and you know what? FINE! if this is what it takes for them to be safe and happy, i'll be the villain.

but don't come in here expecting me to play that role again. i DID my part. i united them. my work is over.

but you, wilbur? heh. you get to deal with ALL the consequences of your war games. you'll be the one dealing with tommy's nightmares, tubbo's anger, everyone's hatred, fuck, you even get to deal with the egg!! isnt that nice? i was willing to deal with the egg, you know, it appeared before the whole election thing. but since you're here, you may as well take over. because you're SO great at directing them, you know? better than i ever could.

point is, wilbur, you don't get to use me as the tyrant, the final boss, the bad guy, and the villain anymore. when i said i would be putting the most powerful person in here, I wasn't fucking lying!"

"but tommy said you were going to put him in there!"

"you know, with the amount of times ive practically lied to that kid, im surprised he still believed me. i was never planning to put him in here. no one else would be put in here. hell, even techno and phil would just have gotten stuck here for about a week. i had guidelines, you know. i put them in a book somehwere, in one of my bases. no one was supposed to get unfair treatment. unfortunately i seemed to have pulled the short end of thr stick. that seems to be all that im doing these days."

"dream—"

"no. don't do that. don't pull me into another one of your plots wilbur. i don't want to hear it. you got your villain. your villain is gone, wilbur.

it's time to be the hero. :)"

basically my points here are like.

-wilbur made a narrative that dream didnt agree with

-this narrative painted dream in a negative villian light so dream basically said "yeah fuck that" and spedran his role

-headcanons galore i really do like the idea of dream creating that prison for himself to be locked in

-once wilbur is back he visits dream and explains his displeasure that dream went and did the things he did bc 1) hurt a lot of people personally and 2) did not adhere to the villain role wilbur specifically assigned to dream

-additional mentions: both wanted peace but in different forms. dream wanted peace for peace's sake but wilbur wanted peace after struggles. dream genuinely loved everyone on the server, but had to shed those attachments because to him, PERSONALLY, it would be a weakness towards his "villainous" role. his threatening of tubbo in front of tommy so tommy can "be the hero like spiderman and batman" shows that he knows exactly how empowering attachments are. lastly, dream only began manipulating people after the pogtopia arc. he mostly stayed the neutral party during it, and was just reacting with plans among plans during the lmanburg revolution.

-additionally, wilbur really wanted to stay dead, but dream said "haha no" and alived him again bc if he has to be the one to inflict trauma onto people then wilbur has to suffer leading the efforts to recovery.

hi @dreamsclock u keep giving me brainrot so im tossing this at u thank u goodbye i hope u dont mind the tag

#dream smp #dsmp #roleplay #au idea #dreamwastaken #wilbur soot #villain dream #will dreamsclock see this #idk #dreamsclock

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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years

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kick back vinny mauro x reader

+++++++++

the song she sings are original lyrics by me, there will be a screenshot of the whole thing in the comments/reblogs if you would like to see it all. there is no sheet music, i am not a musician, but the lyrics are all my own and subject to copyright (/11/06/20/). thanks for understanding

Song: sorry haha I fell asleep by egg

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @svintsandghosts @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee +++++++++

I looked down at my phone as it rang for the eighth time today. It was Vinny. Again. Couldn't he take the hint? He thought he wanted me but I knew he didn't. How could he? Clearly he wouldn't let it go though. I rolled my eyes and went to put my phone back down when it dinged. He didn't call this time. It was actually a text.

"I know you're ignoring me but I'm gonna keep trying, i told you how i feel and thats not gonna change. Also a heads up, I'll see you on tour."

My eyes went wide before I immediately called our band manager.

"Just the person I wanted to talk to."

She said fairly chipper.

"Tell me we aren't."

I said sternly.

"What?"

She sounded confused.

"Tell me we aren't touring with motionless."

She laughed a little.

"Why would I tell you that? Of course you guys are. isnt it exciting?"

My mouth dropped.

"Why?!"

"Um, because it's good publicity? their manager called me yesterday and asked if you wanted to collab on something too so i hope youve been writing. but back to tour. They are doing a short spring tour, just a few weeks. i figured you were the best breakout band on my label."

She seemed very happy. I sighed into the receiver.

"Dawn their drummer has been calling and texting me for two weeks straight."

She paused.

"Okay?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"He has been trying to get me to go out with him for two weeks straight."

"Oh!"

She said.

"Then what's the problem?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Ya know what, actually there's no problem. this is a great opportunity for our career. When are we starting?"

"Great! I have to call the rest of the girls but you start February third."

I nodded.

"Okay. Two months away. I can put this off till then."

I said more to myself.

"Well dear I've got to go, I'll talk to you when the posters come out."

°°°°°°°°°

i sat on the ground outside the bus and strummed my guitar lightly. id been in contact with all the girls from our band and all the motionless guys for our new song together since i got the call from dawn two months ago but things werent coming out as good as wed hoped. so here i was still working on it, by myself. the thing is though the song was supposed to be out by the end of tour and yet here we all were, one week in and still nothing. i couldnt even focus on the task at hand. i had to much other shit running through my mind.

"that sounds pretty."

i heard from behind me and stiffened my body.

"thanks, ive been trying to find new chords for the song."

i said as vinny came into view.

"well i think it sounds great, when i read through the lyrics you had so far i wasnt really sure how heavy it would end up being but i kinda like that."

he said, moving to sit in front of me. i nodded.

"it will be heavier but my brain wont let me right now."

i said, dropping my hands to my lap. he nodded back.

"well what you have so far sounds beautiful anyways."

i stared at the ground, tapping my fingers lightly against the guitar.

"actually vin, this isnt for the collab. its actually for you and the only reason i cant finish the other song is because im lost."

he raised a brow.

"its for me?"

i sighed.

"i dont exactly know how to talk to you anymore so i figured a song would be easier but its really not."

i said through a nervous laugh.

"ive been meaning to talk to you about that actually."

i shook my head.

"you dont have-"

"no, i do."

he said, sending me a look.

"i shouldve taken the hint in December but i thought that if i persisted then maybe youd see how much i meant what i said. but i guess somewhere along the line i got annoying. hell i know, i did, i was annoying myself. then when you started texting me back, even though it was just about the new song, i was excited. it meant i could still talk to you even if it was just business."

"vin i-"

"please, just listen for a second."

i cleared my throat and nodded.

"okay, lay it on me."

he took a deep breath.

"i want you to know that i did mean what i said, i do really like you and i want to try something, a relationship, casual dates, hell even just hanging out. maybe you dont want more, and thats fine. but i still want you in my life and i want you to know that i do care about you. even if you have been ignoring me on purpose."

i frowned.

"vin i dont know how to do this."

i said, motioning between us.

"all my past relationships have crashed and burned and i dont know how to move on form that. i dont want to have to change who i am again."

he shook his head.

"you dont- you would never have to do that. i like you the way you are, and i want to prove that to you."

i sent him a look.

"no, you like who ive created for you. thats not me. im not carefree and easy going, and agreeable. im pig headed and strongly opinionated and i have a loud mouth."

i said with a laugh. he smiled back at me which i wasnt quite expecting.

"i dont care about all that. i care about you, whether you think youve created someone for me or not. give me stubborn. give me opinionated and loud. hell even give me furious at times. i know thats the real you and yet im still trying. cant you see that?"

i bit the inside of my cheek and thought for a second. then i looked down started strumming again lightly.

"im sorry for making things harder, i never meant to make it this far."

i began singing lightly.

"you dont deserve this mess of a person, i just keep making things hard."

i looked to him and he was staring at me intently.

"we've made it this far, i cant believe youre still around. i thank the heavens cause if not id be six feet down"

i closed my eyes, swaying back and forth as i played.

"Im sorry for making things harder, you dealt with this before. If i make it up to you somehow, we wont have to waste our time no more."

i said softly, over the guitar before stopping and looking at him.

"its not quite done yet."

i said a little shy. he sent me a small smile.

"i love you."

he said and my face went straight. i watched as he scooted his way closer to my side.

"ill always be here for you, no matter how we move forward."

i looked to my lap for a second before looking back to him. he was staring at me longingly.

"i think i love you too vin."

i said, barely above a whisper. he looked between my eyes before his hand moved to graze my cheek. i couldnt help moving into him. before i knew what was happening i was kissing him lightly, his hand going to the back of my head to hold me to him. when he pulled away he had a huge smile on his face.

"the song sounds great by the way."

i laughed a little at that, feeling a blush creep its way to my face as he pressed his forehead to mine.

"our little atypical love song."

#wattpad #x reader #vinny mauro #miw #imagines #one shots #279

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nocherryblood · 4 years

Text

PLEASE REBLOG FOR AWARENESS- S*X BOTS:

So, only recently, in the past week I've been getting a lot (and a lot, for my blogs, is six) of random followers, and it was making me a little suspicious, so in the end I just decided to check everything out and see what was going on.

I mean, did a post of mine do really well or something? Did someone tag me a bunch of times? Did someone reblog something?

NO.

I checked who had followed me recently, and, low and behold, it was: bots! How great.

But what was even worse, was that these were s*x bots (I'm censoring some words to keep my blog somewhat safe). S*x bots.

So since I've seen a lot of these over the past few weeks, I've decided to put together a little of what I've found. It's nothing new- and it's pretty much common knowledge- but hopefully it might help a few people out (especially since I'm one of many people who try to keep their blog safe from harmful, or 18+ content) and maybe even help keep some people a little safer here on Tumblr

So, here we go:

PROFILE PICTURES AND USERNAMES:

First of all, check the pfps and usernames. Sometimes they'll be something like "d3rtyg1rl", but not always. Other times it'll be something like "sangdori" or "jpi011" (those are two real accounts that followed me, I've just changed one or two of the letters in them)- so something that sounds like a regular Tumblr account to tebe average user. So if the username checks out as 'normal', the next thing to look at, is the profile picture.

These, similar to the usernames, and all the other things I'm going to mention, may seem normal at first. Some of them may be fluffy kittens (a lot of them are "generic"), others may be a seemingly innocent selfie, a few of them are just blank Tumblr and some are just... straight-up 18+ photos. So be aware that not all of them are going to be easy to spot right away.

LIKES, FOLLOWS AND UPLOADS:

Right, so now we've come to the part where you've checked out the usernames and profile pics, and they both show no signs of anything sinister. Good- now, if you're still suspicious, it's time to check the actual account itself.

The first thing you might want to take a look at, is the content they've uploaded, or in some cases haven't uploaded, onto their blog. This is where things can get deceiving. Many of these accounts have just one "generic" post- such as slime, kittens, glitter, etc (usually these are eye-catching things, which means it can draw people, especially children, in)- immediately followed by some sort of sexual content underneath that, usually in the form of a nude photo or p*rn (some are obscured, though most aren't), which catches you off-guard, to say the least.

Now, as I said before, not all of these bot accounts are the same. Some don't have any uploaded content at all- this is where checking their Likes page comes in.

(And I'm aware that this may sound like we're stalking someone's account at this point, but trust me, we're not. We're just trying to keep ourselves safe- and these are not people, remember, they're bots. Bots don't care, bots don't have feelings. Bots don't care if we block them). So, back to the point, the next thing we check is the Likes pages.

Now, some of these pages will be purely 18+ content, as you would expect. Just straight-up p*rn links, or nude photos. But others, however, seem innocent at first... that is, until you scroll down the page. Usually, it's just liked photos of (again, the generic, and eye-catching stuff) some cute animals, a GIF of slime, or a popular meme, but if you scroll down a little further underneath that, you'll see that same innapropriate content all over again.

Though again, as with all the other things I've mentioned, some of these liked pages seem fine upon inspection, which is where we move onto the final thing to check if what you're seeing is a bot account: the following page.

To be quite simple... this is where you'll need to look at a bunch of accounts all over again... hooray! If you find that some of the accounts seem suspicious from just looking at the pfps and usernames, then great, that usually means you know that the account you were originally looking at is a bot account, and you can block them and be done with it (and even if you're not entirely sure, blocking them will keep you safe, and besides, it doesn't hurt anyone- believe me, your safety takes 100% priority over having that one extra follower).

But, if you can't tell just by looking at them, and you're still suspicious, and you don't want to just block the original account you were looking at... then this would be the time do all of the above again (checking likes, following pages, and content) just to make sure.

If you don't find anything else suspicious, then congratulations, it's probably not a bot account, and you don't have to worry about it. But again, if you ARE worried, then PLEASE do just block and/or report, the account. It's better to have one less follower, than be unsafe, or have to feel uncomfortable.

SO, I THINK IT'S A BOT ACCOUNT, NOW WHAT?

Now, if you've been through all of the above, and/or you're pretty sure that what you've seen is a bot account, then it's time to either block it, or report it.

To block an account, simply tap on the little 'human/person' icon in the top right of that specific account, and tap 'block' (note: this will only report them from one of your blogs. If you want to block them from another, or all of your blogs, you'll have to add them to the block list for taht specific blog). To report someone instead, just tap 'report'.

So, you might be wondering: what's the difference between reporting someone and blocking them?

Well, I'll tell you as best as I can. Blocking someone means:

They won’t be able to follow your blog, or send you fan mails or asks to your blog, and they won't be able to see your blog’s posts in their Dashboard. In addition to that, neither will they be able to like, reblog, or reply to your posts, and your blog won’t show up in their search results. It's a really good option.

They'll still be able to read your posts if they somehow come across them, but they can't interact/reblog them- at all. The only way people would even know you've blocked them is if they find that they get denied permission to interact with your blog- but remember, the chances of the finding out that youve blocked them is VERY slim, if it even happens at all (though remember we're talking about bots here though, not actual people, I just thought it would be useful information to include anyway).

Alright, so now onto reporting someone. Reporting someone means that:

The account will receive an email stating that they've posted banned content and must take it down. Tumblr will then still automatically take it down, and the account either gets suspended or deleted.

I would say that reporting the s*x bots would be the best thing you can do in this situation (you can still block them afterwards), seeing as the account will hopefully then be taken down (instead of just blocked on your blog) after being reviewed, which could help keep Tumblr at least a little safer once it does.

And just in case you were wondering: no-one will know if you've reported their account. The only way they'll know they've been reported (and they won't know who reported them) is if their content gets taken down or if their account is deleted- so don't worry about people accusing you of reporting them, as Tumblr keeps it anonymous anyway.

(Again, I've only added that part as useful information, seeing as s*x bots aren't real people and therefore won't care if they've been blocked or reported.)

There's more information about reporting and blocking people, along with Tumblr's policies and guidelines here, if you need it:

https://iheartmob.org/resources/safety_guides/tumblr_guide

Right... so I think that just about covers everything I wanted to say. If there's anything I've gotten wrong, or you think you could add on to, just drop a note or reblog this to help. After all, I don't know everything about these s*x bots, and just writing from my experience and what I've noticed about them. So help and/or additional information would be greatly appreciated.

I'm just fed up of seeing them everywhere and them making me think I've got a new follower who's actually interested in the blogs I make, when it's actually just a not trying to take me to some random p*rn website. It's wrong. So I just decided to write about my frustrations.

Now, Tumblr, if you could please sort your shit out, that'd be great, thank you very much, and we can all get on with our day.

If you've read this far, thank you very much for your time, and I hope I've managed to help you at least somewhat when it comes to dealing with these types of things in the future, or maybe just given you a little more awareness about how to stay safe on Tumblr, and other similar sites.

Anyway, I hope y'all have a wonderful day, and that you stay safe. Happy new year, too! 💛💙

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gvf-imagine · 4 years

Photo

Part 2

warnings: none

word count: 4705

summary: you get a text from dreamy rock singer Josh Kiszka whom youve just met at a live show and he wants to see you tonight!

tag list: @satingrass-maidensfair @karrotkate @kakarla @love-philautia @elliestrawberries @shesdigging @callmekane @supersonic-darling @jimmypagesandbrianmayshair @justacollegestudentyay

A\N: Loved writing this chapter! I hope you all enjoy it and like always any feedback is welcome and appriciated

-------------------------------------------------------------

Your friend hurried back to the table.

“What happened?!” she asked, her expression hungry for details. You simply shrug.

“He invited me to their next show at some college party…..he invited you too , oh and I gave him my number” you say with a melancholy tone. Your friends' eyes were wide.

“Why do you sound depressed??” she questions

“Why are you not freaking out like me?” she adds.

“He has a girlfriend” you say, taking another drink of your lemonade.

“God I wish there was alcohol in this” you chime again, mostly to yourself.

“Ok he has a girlfriend BFD he can't like her that much if he asked you for your number” she said with a satisfied shrug.

“Yeah that's just it, I don't wanna be the reason he leaves her. I mean we literally just met like what? Twenty minutes ago? And who knows how long he's been with her” you ramble. Your friend shakes her head

“Listen, whatever happens between them is NOT your problem. If he'd leave her for a girl he just met twenty minutes ago then clearly their relationship is already trash” she states. You look at her blankly for a moment before rolling your eyes.

“You just like the drama” you retort with an eventual smile. She nods proudly as she takes another sip of her drink

“I do! AND I like the guitarist so we're going to that show at that party” she decides. You chuckle and shake your head. Honestly you were excited to hear and see him again, you really really were and it's not like you guys were gonna make out or anything. You had no plans on doing anything that would jeopardize his current relationship, the two of you were just friends so far, not even friends, just acquaintances. Being an acquaintance sounded far better than being a home-wrecking hussy.

“That reminds me” you say, settling the storm of thoughts in your mind. Your friend looked up at you.

“Josh said that Jake, that guitarist you're in love with, was staring at you the whole show” you proclaim readying yourself for the deafening overzealous girl-ish shriek that was sure to be escaping her perfectly glossed lips at any moment.

“WHAT??!” she yelled, her aura flashed at you like the aftershock of an atom bomb.l her face lit up with excitement and yours winced with the pain of her shriek ringing in your ears.

“Sorry I said anything” you reply but it falls on deaf ears.

“Oh my god what will I wear??” she asks her eyes darting off in thought.

“Wear two stamps and Saltine cracker for all I care , just don't get your hopes up about mr. wonderful there, boys in bands aren't really known for their long healthy relationships, more like short, shameful one night stands” you say.

“Yeah I don't care” she replies quickly. You smile, of course she doesn't. You can't help but feel differently about Josh, somehow you knew he wasn't like that. Maybe that was just you getting your own hopes up. He seemed genuine but you had only just met him so you couldn't really make a fair call yet. The rest of that day was full of water, sunshine, and lingering thoughts of two boys you hardly knew.

The next day was completely different, weather-wise at least. Dark, heavy clouds hung over your town like a horrendous guilt. A, what seemed to be never ending, shower of rain fell to the ground turning every home and business in Silver City, Michigan into a lakefront property.

“Its about time you woke up” your friend smiles as you join her in the living room. She hands you a hot cup of tea, both of you still wore your pajamas which consisted of cotton shorts and old oversized t-shirts. The sound of rain dancing on the large window made you sleepy again, noting a huge crack of thunder and lightning couldn't solve though. Your body jolted in response to the loud boom. Your friend simply laughed and took another sip of her steaming beverage, smelled like vanilla chamomile.

“Shut up” you report playfully elbowing her in the ribs. You looked at your phone, you forgot you had turned it on silent last night. There was one unread message from a random number. Butterflies took flight against the walls of your stomach.

Josh.

You hated the fact that you couldn't help but blush and grin at the thought of him.

He has a girlfriend

You chanted to yourself in incantation before refocusing and reading his message.

J: Hey, it's me! I hope you had a good rest of your day yesterday, sorry for the late text, I had to wait till my girl fell asleep to talk to you…

Your heart sinks. You felt so bad for his girlfriend, it's not nice of Josh to go behind her back BUT there are always two sides to every story and who knows maybe she's talking to another guy behind his back. Your thoughts flew around your mind like fireflies. You shook your head and watched them scatter out of your ears and disappear into nothing.

Y: hey Josh! I'm glad to hear from you, so when's that party?

You decide to completely ignore the fact of his girlfriend and ask about the show instead, you'd like to talk to him more about his relationship because clearly he wasn't very happy in it, but it wasn't your place to ask.

J: 343 university Dr. we play at seven but well be there around five, so does this mean you're coming?

Y: yeah well be there, my friend would drag me by my hair if I didn't want to go lol but she won't have to

J: well that's good news for your hair, its too pretty to be pulled around…..like that anyway

The butterflies made their way all throughout your body. Did he just compliment you? It felt so good to hear him say that, it made you feel like a little giggly school girl with a crush. On the other hand you couldn't stop wondering if he'd said the same to his girlfriend today or who knows maybe there's other girls. You signed and slump down in your seat. Why was this eating you alive? You really honestly didn't even know him that well. You didn't know his last name, his favorite color, if he'd ever broken a bone. All you knew was he was a boy in a band, with a beautiful voice and a face to match. You felt the butterflies melt into a warmth as thoughts of him filled your head.

Y: josh…

J: I know i'm sorry, I just… I can't help it. I'm usually not like this but I just feel pulled towards you..

Somehow you knew exactly what he was trying to say, you felt the same way. The two of you were magnetized towards each other. You needed to be in his life one way or another and you just might have to put your better judgement aside and let temptation take the wheel.

Y: I know, it's okay. You're really sweet and I appreciate that. I'm really glad we met Josh

J:Im glad we did too and I feel like we met for a reason, I have to go rehearse with the guys now, but i'll talk to you as soon as I can… maybe I can come see you tonight?

Come see you tonight? What does that mean? What would we do? What would he tell his girlfriend? You didn't know what to say, hopefully he would be too busy at rehearsal to have any free time tonight.

Y: sure, if you're not busy you can stop by, just call me or something, hopefully ill still be awake ha ha. If no then i'll see you at the show…. Bye Josh :)

J: haha ok bye y/n

----------------------------------------

*later that evening*

“So you're going to let him come over tonight right??” your friend prys as the two of you walked through the mall. You rolled your eyes, as you often did around her.

“How did you even know about that?” you asked, swinging your bags as you walked. She looked down

“I may have just quickly skimmed through your texts while you were in the shower” she chimed with an innocent smile. You glared at her but couldn't hold back your laugh.

“Youre so fucking nosy” you reply shoving her gently. She smirks with a slight cock of her head.

“I dont go through your phone” you add. Her face goes blank

“Yeah well my love life isn't as exciting as yours right now, my phone’s dryer that the sahara” she responds with her usual quick wit.

“Well what about Jake, he might like you” you suggest.

“Yeah he MIGHT and I dont have his phone number so I cant talk to him” she argues.

“We’ll get it at the party don't worry” you reassure. She sighs and drops her shoulders.

“Yeah and so will every other girl within a mile radius” she retorts.

“Hey there were plenty of girls at the water park yelling his name but he only had eyes for you” you respond, you can tell what you said made her feel slightly better.

“Yeah well I guess we'll see, he is really cute though…. I'm totally getting his number” she chirps decidedly. You knew she would, it never takes much coaxing for her to want to get a guy's number, usually she didn't have to ‘get’ them, guys practically threw their numbers at her. I've gotta hand it to her this time though, Jake is a good looking gman.

Just then your phone rings, you look down and see Josh’s name flashing on the screen.

“oh shitting hell it's him!” you say looking at your friend like a deer in headlights.

“Well what are you out of your mind?? ANSWER IT!” she demands as she grabs your hand making you put your phone against your face.

“Hi, Josh” you say, shooing her hand away.

“Hey! I wasn't sure if you were going to answer” he says, you can tell a smile is beaming on his face.

“Yeah sorry my hands are kinda full and I had to dig in my bag for my phone” you lied. Your hands were only carrying one bag, they were hardly full, and your phone was already in your hand as well. You didn't want Josh to know you were too nervous to answer right away and your friend had to basically force feed the phone to you.

“Oh well, i'm done with rehearsal.. What are you up to?” he asks, he must have JUST got done with practice because you can hear him and who you assume is the rest of the band fumbling with some equipment in the background.

“Oh me and y\f\n are just at the mall, well we're leaving now, we just wanted to pick up some new outfits for..” your voice trails. Shit. you did not want him to know you were here getting new clothes for his show, that would give him a big ego.

For christs sake y\n make something up QUICK BEFORE-

“For what?” he questions, his voice interrupting you from your panicked thoughts.

Fuck.

“Ummm for …. A birthday party! Yeah next weekend, her cousin's birthday party. Its gonna be on a boat at the lake so we wanted to get some beach appropriate attire” you say, what a shit-headed fucking lie, really? A birthday party? On a boat??? Josh simply laughs

“Birthday party huh? Sounds like a good time” he's smiling again.

“Well I hope you have fun.. So you wanna get together tonight?” he asks getting right to the elephant in the room. You pause and look at your friend who nods so hard you thought she was going to slip a disc in her spine.

“Aren't you really busy? You're in a band you must have like no free time to hangout with me” you say prolonging your answer.

“Well no I don't have much free time, but i'm freeing up my time...for you” he responds. His words were so sweet but so hard to hear and they made you feel both happy and conflicted at the same time.

“I'll bring Jake,” he adds.

Your friend snatches your phone when she hears this.

“Yes! Lets hangout! Our address is 1342 sunfield st. Why don't you guys stop over, let's say,in an hour!” she chimes cheerfully. You can hear Josh’s voice responding but cant make out what he's saying.

“Awesome see you guys soon!” she says once more before hanging up the phone. You just stand there looking at her with zero expression on your face.

“You'll thank me later” she remarks, tossing you your phone and continuing through the mall.

“Come on slowpoke we gotta get date ready!” she bounces up and down grabbing your hand pulling you along. You were really excited to see Josh again, nervous as hell, but excited nonetheless. What were you going to wear?

-----------------------------------------

The two of you finally returned back to your house, your friend made a bee-line for her room, you did the same. You stood hopelessly in front of your closet.

“God I have nothing to wear!” you holler to your friend.

“You can borrow something of mine,” she offers. You hear her shuffling through her drawers, she's probably ripping through her clothes. With a quick pace you made your way to her room.

“What should I wear?” you ask looking through her clothes she's already tossed aside.

“I haven't the faintest idea, I guess it depends on what we're going to do. Maybe wear something practical? Multi-purpose” she suggests. No help. You grab a pair of ripped skinny jeans and a black tank top that had a red floral pattern. This'll do. Sauntering back to your room you slip the outfit on and look at yourself in the mirror. Thank god you and her were basically the same size. Now all that was left was the matter of your hair and makeup. You decided to go with something simple, you didn't want to look like you were trying to impress him (even though you were). You tied your hair into a high pony-tail leaving a few strands down in the front to frame your face.

With gentle and effortless precision you put on your eyeliner, it really brings out your eyes and makes your cheekbones look nice. Usually that was the only makeup you wore, but tonight, you decided to put on some lipstick for good measure, a nice natural blush color. You smile at your reflection, which rarely ever occurred.

“You look great!” your friend's voice fills the air, light pink waves crashing over hot sand, you watch as the waves echo out of your bedroom window.

You turn to look at her, she's wearing a knee length sky blue spaghetti strap dress, it was simple and pretty and fit her frame perfectly. She wore a pair of white doc martens to top off her soft grunge look, her hair was down and barely touched her shoulders.

“What happened to ‘wear something practical’”? You question with a grin.

“To hell with it, I need to look irresistible” she answers.

“Well you do, I love that dress” you respond. There was a knock on the door, you and y\f\n looked at each other before the both of you scurried excitedly to the door.

“Oh wait wait WAIT” you exclaim in a hushed yell as you ran into the bathroom, you grabbed your favorite perfume and spritzed a careful amount over your body.

“Ok go go go” you say as you toss the bottle back on the counter. The two of you rush to the door looking each other over one last time before your friend pulls the door open. In front of you stand Josh and Jake, both wearing sweet smiles.

“Hey,” Josh says looking at you, his smile grew softer and more sincere the longer he looked at you. You picked up on it and blushed letting out a pathetically soft “hi”

“Come on in” your friend says, opening the door even wider. The boys step inside looking around, taking in their surroundings.

“Nice place, Josh and I share an apartment” Jake states with a soft chuckle

“This is hardly our house, her parents pay our rent” you say nodding toward your friend. She smiles

“Yeah they're loaded! So what do you guys wanna do?” she says quickly. Jake laughs at her remark.

“We thought we could go for a walk, maybe get some ice cream” josh says, more to you than the other two.

“A walk? It's like 10 pm” your friend says a small laugh escaping her lips.

“That's the best time to go” Jake says.

“Don't worry we'll protect you from any robbers” Josh jokes. You smile, you did everytime he looked at you, you couldn't help it he was so pretty.

“Sounds fun” you chime.

“Im 100% getting blue moon” your friend says grabbing her purse

“Oh you don't need that, ill buy” Jake offers, your friend looks at you with a smile.

“My kinda guy” she jokes again. Jake and Josh laugh and you all head out the door. The night air was crisp and clean, the smell of rain still hung in the sky. The ground was damp and the clouds were still looming and dark, but the rain had settled to a light sprinkle. You could smell it all, the droplets that hung off the leaves and the wet earthy dirt they fell onto. It was your absolute favorite smell, it reminded you of fall, which was only a few weeks away. The thought of that made you face burn red as you remembered you told josh that you had a birthday party on a boat to go to in a few weeks not stopping to think about what season it was. Dumbass. There's no way he fell for that.

Jake and your friend trailed slightly behind you and Josh, keeping conversion as they did. You heard them both laugh every few seconds and they seemed to be getting along.

“You look really pretty,” Josh speaks, forcing your attention on him.

“Oh” you smile.

“Thank you, I couldn't really find anything nice to wear, so I had to borrow something of hers” you admit with a laugh.

“You could have worn a trash bag, you'd still look pretty,” he says. His voice was dark and gentle like melted chocolate. His words ripped through you like wind through trees and all you could think about was his girlfriend.

“Can I ask you something?” you question.

“You can ask me anything” he responds, his eyes searching the ground.

“Why are you so nice to me?” you ask, your voice falls a little. Josh looks at you and then a passing car steals his gaze.

“When I first saw you I felt this pressure lift from my shoulders and then I couldn't take my eyes off of you, even if I wanted to I couldn't. You filled my head and I hadn't even spoken to you yet. One look.. And you entranced me…” he says softly.

“There's something between us y/n and I need to know what it is” he speaks again. Both of you had stopped walking by now, Jake and your friend were across the street ordering everyone's ice cream and standing noticeably close. Now that you thought about it, so were you and Josh.

“What about your girlfriend?” you ask, barely able to form words, all you could focus on was his perfect lips and enchanting eyes. You were close enough that you could smell his faint cologne pass your nose with every slight gust of wind. Your mention of his girlfriend didn't seem to phase him at all.

“Things with me and her are complicated, our relationship was set up through our parents and it's just a mess.. A forced mess. She doesn't feel that close to me, I've known you for a day and I've felt more things with you than I've ever felt with her. He explains. He was being honest, it wasn't just a show or him telling you what you want to hear.

“So why don't you just break up with her?” you ask again.

“I've never broken up with anyone before… I don't know how...plus her dad is our band manager and it would just cause a lot of problems” he admits. You understood how he felt, you'd never broken up with anyone either, you've always been on the receiving end of a bad breakup. Jake and y/f/n return, arms full of ice cream.

“Peanut butter cup, your favorite” your friend chimes, handing you a double scoop of the creamy treat stuffed generously into a waffle cone. Waffle cones were amazing, you never understood why anyone got anything else, they were delicious and if you rice cream started to melt it would catch in the diamond shaped waffle divots of the cone and not drip on your clothes. Yummy and practical.

“Thanks” you say, taking a refreshing lick. The four of you walked aimlessly around town, talking and laughing the whole way until you eventually wound up back at your house.

“Wow i cant believe how late it is already” Jake says looking at his phone, which prompted you to do the same.

“Holy shit it's 1am” you say, which was probably a mistake because saying it out loud made you realize how tired you actually are. Josh looks at you

“Yeah it's late but I don't wanna leave” he admits a smile forms on his sweet face. He looked cute when he was tired.

“....you can stay the night if you'd like” you say nervously tugging at the hem of your shirt. Josh's face lit up

“It is very dangerous to drive while you're tired” your friend comments. Jake smiles and looks at Josh as the four of you walk back inside.

“I'm game” he says plopping down on the couch.

“Yeah I guess we can just crash on the couch” Josh says with a shrug, your friend quickly intervenes.

“Oh no no no this old couch will kill your back, you can sleep in y/n’s room!” she offers. You freeze. In my room? In the same bed? At the same time?

“Right y/n?” your friend speaks again, with a perky tone. Her eyes grow wide, glaring at you for a quick second.

“Oh uh yeah totally, these couches are stone” you say trying to sound nonchalant.

“Jake and I will probably stay up a while, why don't you guys head to bed?” your friend says again. Wow she's really pushing for you two to be together. You laugh at her and once again roll your eyes.

“Yeah, cmon Josh, it's right down the hall” you say, leading him to your room.

He closes the door behind him as the two of you enter. There's a moment of silence.

“You know, I can sleep on the floor if you're not comfortable with this,” he says stuffing his hands nervously in his pockets. It was tempting considering he had a girlfriend already but you couldn't remember the last time you vacuumed this floor.

“No that's ok, I'm fine with sharing the bed, I wouldn't ask you to sleep on the floor” you say with a chuckle before yawning.

“I'm more tired than I realized” you add , sleep tugging at your eyelids.

“Me too” Josh says stretching. You looked down at what you were wearing. Jeans. Yikes. You can't sleep in jeans.

“Do you want me to leave so you can change?” he asks, reaching for the door handle.

“Um yeah sorta” you giggle shyly, he smiles.

“Just knock when you're ready” he says, stepping out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. You quickly pull your clothes off and toss them in your laundry basket before grabbing light blue pajama shorts that had little red cherries patterned across them, then you grabbed the matching blue tank top and took off your makeup with some wipes you kept in your drawer. You let your hair down and checked yourself in the mirror before knocking twice on the door.

“I'm done” you chime. Josh steps back in, his eyes fall down your body and his facial expression softens.

“Still pretty” he says brushing a piece of hair behind your ear. Your body warms to his touch. It was so gentle and soft, you look down, smiling to yourself.

“Are you gonna change?” you ask realizing he's wearing jeans too.

“Well I usually sleep in my boxers” he says, not breaking eye contact with you.

“That's fine, whatever's comfortable” you reply walking gover to your bed and sliding in. Josh starts to undo his belt and he lets his pants fall to his ankles before stepping out of them and pulling his shirt over his head. His body was a wonderful olive tone and he had a thin trail of hair that led from his belly button to his… you know.

Your face flushes as you think more about how undeniably sexy he iis. He smiled almost like he could hear your thoughts.

“I'll get the light” he says, switching it off. Then there was darkness. You felt his body slide in bed next to you, immediately warming you. His smooth skin brushed against yours as he turned on his side to face you. His hand lifted to your face and he strokes your cheek with his thumb gracefully.

“This feels….right” his voice breaks the silence and floats in your ears.

“Yeah it does” you admit, he couldn't see it, but you had a huge smile on your face. Your bedroom window is wide open and it began to rain agoian outside, you could hear every droplet splash against the ground and the wind blew gently through the trees. The wind blew through the window sending a chill through your room. You got goosebumps and shook slightly. Instantly Josh wrapped his arm around your side and pulled you into his chest. His delicious cologne still lingering on his body. His warmth and the comfort of his touch had you sleeping almost instantaneously.

“Goodnight y/n” he said softly, his fingers tracing a pattern on your back.

“Goodnight Josh” you reply tiredly. You wondered what Jake and your friend were doing, they must have fallen asleep or were watching a movie because you couldn't hear them in the living room, you fell asleep trying to decide.

You were jolted awake by Josh who jumped out of your bed.

“What's wrong?” you ask as you sit up rubbing your eyes. You could hear him quickly pulling his jeans back on .

“Hey, go back to sleep, I just, I have to go,” he says, putting his shirt on.

“It's your girlfriend isn't it?” you question, he sighs and sits on your bed.

“Yea she called me like twenty times, it's already 10am….I should go” he says reluctantly. You nod, you didn't want him to leave but it really wasn't up to you.

“Okay” you say softly

“Hey….” he says getting closer to you, his fingers gently grab your face and he kisses you passionately. His lips are soft and hungry, he leans over you slightly as if he's trying to savor every last taste of you, but the two of you battle for power, he wins. His thumb strokes your cheek and he pulls away softly, your face still in his hands, your foreheads rested gently against each other’s. His eyes searched yours for forgiveness.

“I'll text you as soon as I can” he assures. You nod as he gets off your bed and heads for the door. He offers you one last smile before he disappears down the hall. You fall back on your pillow with an exhausted sigh. His warmth still imprinted on the sheets and his smell still drifting through the air.

#flower power part 2 #flower power #josh kiszka #josh kiszka imagine #greta van fleet #gretavanfleet

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rosedavid · 5 years

Text

Summer-Salt

word count: 4,657

summary: the past comes back to haunt TJ and Cyrus when Andi announces her big Halloween bash she’s planning.

tag list: @youve-cath-to-be-kitten-me

Happy Halloween everyone!! I hope you all enjoy this one-shot that’s been a long time coming :) Also this is unedited, so I apologize!

...

“What did Andi’s text say again?” TJ questions as he gets tugged along the sidewalk by a persistent, fast-paced Cyrus.

“She just said something like, ‘Meet at The Spoon ASAP! It’s of the upmost importance!’” Cyrus replies, doing a terrible impression of her voice.

“First of all, I don’t think Andi says things like ‘of the upmost importance’! You’re the only one who uses words as fancy as that. Second, she definitely does not sound like that.”

Cyrus rolls his eyes, purposefully knocking his shoulder against TJ’s shoulder as they continue walking. TJ chuckles in response to his boyfriend’s antics, bumping his shoulder back. Meanwhile, Cyrus sticks his chin out defiantly before retaliating to TJ’s comments.

“I don’t use fancy words,” he debates, “I just prefer proper grammar when conversing with someone. Also, my accents and imitations are spot on, thank you very much.”

“Conversing with someone,” TJ snickers. “You’re adorable.”

Cyrus sputters, face reddening. “Is that all you got out of what I just said?!”

“Sorry, Underdog, I can’t help it. Honestly though, that impression was…not great. I would not have guessed Andi if I didn’t know who texted.”

“Who would you have guessed?”

“Uh…Jonah, maybe?”

Cyrus pretends to look offended, but he can’t keep his composure for long before descending into giggles. TJ smiles and laughs along with him, unable to resist the fluttery feeling that flows through him as a result of their bantering. When they officially announced their feelings for each other on the bench at Andi’s party a few months ago, TJ was terrified that things would change significantly between them. He worried that, like some of the stories you hear about, they were potentially ruining their friendship. His fears only intensified after their first, extremely awkward date. Thankfully, the initial awkwardness and tension between them faded rapidly after they both stopped placing so much pressure on themselves, and they quickly fell back into their normal routine with each other (except this time with their feelings toward each other known and reciprocated).

Now, TJ feels more at ease than ever. The conflict that was previously raging inside of him has simmered down, allowing him to be more comfortable in his skin than ever. And he knows that without Cyrus here, he would probably still be the Scary-Basketball-Guy that Cyrus first knew him as. Many times, TJ finds himself pondering what his life would be like if he never interacted with Cyrus. Although there’s no real way to know, TJ thinks that there’s no way he would have progressed this far. On days like those, TJ looks over at Cyrus to confirm that it’s all real; that everything that happened in the past months between them wasn’t just a sick, twisted dream.

“Come on, dork, we’re already running late!” Cyrus laughs, yanking on his hand with an even stronger grasp.

“If anything, you’re the dork with your big words,” TJ replies.

“Says Mr. I Know Every Line in Hamilton.”

“Of course I do! That play is more than just a play: It’s an experience!”

They stumble through the door of The Spoon a few seconds later, still calming down from their giggling. Immediately, they spot the group in their usual corner booth (the only booth in the entire diner big enough to fit their vastly expanding friend group). However, they also quickly notice that the group is lacking one key person. They make their way over to the others, hands still linked. Once they get over there, they take a seat beside Jonah, with Buffy and Marty sitting across from them.

“There are the lovebirds!” Buffy teases, something she says almost every time she sees the duo together now. Despite the frequency, TJ knows that both of them still blush slightly whenever she says it.

“Yeah, sorry we’re late. We were in the middle of a movie which turned into an impromptu nap,” Cyrus apologizes.

TJ adds on, “You mean your nap. I was still awake the whole time acting as your pillow!”

“Why are you so tired, man?” Marty asks Cyrus.

“Ugh, well it all started with our math teacher assigning a ridiculous amount of homework...” Cyrus begins, delving into the long story he told TJ just this morning over text. TJ couldn’t understand how he typed it out so fast, either, but he had a feeling that Cyrus had just loaded up on coffee, causing the crash he witnessed just a little bit ago.

As Cyrus recounts his story, TJ zones out a bit. Instead, he focuses on the way Cyrus’s eyes light up avidly, hands swishing around and almost hitting TJ in the face a few times. His exuberance is contagious, as TJ finds himself unable to prevent the beam from spreading across his face alongside the others.

“That sucks,” Jonah comments once the story is over. “I hope you can actually get some sleep soon.”

“Me too,” Cyrus sighs, slumping over in his seat. “When I get home, I’m going to take another nap I think.”

“That sounds great if Andi would ever get here,” Buffy frowns, checking the time on her phone again. “She texted nearly half an hour ago saying it was so urgent, yet she isn’t even here yet!”

“What do you think the text was about, anyway?” Jonah wonders, to which everyone at the table shrugs.

Before they can continue on their conversation, Andi finally arrives. She bursts through the door, nearly tripping and falling before a certain blonde waitress steadies her. In Andi’s arms is a gigantic container teeming with what appears to be random objects. TJ is amazed that everything managed to stay inside the container despite her stumble. With Amber in tow, the two of them come up to the booth. Amber stands off to Andi’s side warily as she carries the teetering container. Finally, Andi drops it down onto the floor with an echoing thud. She huffs, wiping her hands of on her jeans before offering everyone an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, it took me longer than I thought to lug this here,” Andi states, squeezing into the booth beside everyone.

“Amber, thank goodness you’re here--” Cyrus sighs in relief.

Amber smiles at him, “Wow Cyrus, that’s really sweet of you to say!”

“—I need baby taters right now. It’s a matter of life and death itself!”

Amber rolls her eyes, flipping out her notebook and scribbling baby taters down. Cyrus, on the other hand, goes as white as a ghost, suddenly terrified that he offended her. After all, she appears furious.

“I’m sorry, Amber! I am really glad you’re here, even without the baby tater part.”

Amber’s expression morphs from one of anger to one of humor in an instant. She waves it off. “It’s fine, Cyrus. I know. Also, I already started your baby taters right when I saw you come in. I’ll go get them right now”

“You’re amazing.”

Andi clears her throat, calling the attention back to her. “Sorry, but this is really important.”

“I’m still confused,” Jonah admits, peering over the table at the container on the floor. “What exactly is this all for?”

“You’re kidding, right? Don’t you know what day it is?”

“October 3rd,” TJ offers, descending into snickers with Cyrus and the others.

“No, seriously. Do none of you remember?” Andi asks with disbelief, looking over all the individual members of the table.

“Uh…is it someone’s birthday?” Jonah asks, stilling. “Wait, is it my birthday?!”

A frustrated sigh escapes Andi’s lips. “No, Jonah, your birthday was a few months ago. Guys, it’s officially one week before Halloween!”

TJ frowns, having completely forgotten about the holiday coming up so soon. He supposes that he’s just been so preoccupied with his first year of high school as well as his relationship with Cyrus that he just forgot. Not to mention, he’s been swamped with homework recently to prepare for midterms, so all he’s had on his mind have been math formulas and history dates. Basketball has also been taxing this year; finding his spot on the team with new dynamics has been difficult. As he glances over at Cyrus, he looks just as shocked to remember about Halloween. TJ knows for a fact that Cyrus has been working nonstop recently for all his honors classes he’s been taking this semester.

“Oh,” Buffy states, summing up pretty much what all of them are currently thinking.

“Oh? Just…oh?! You all forgot about Halloween, one of the best holidays of the year!” Andi groans, throwing her hands up in frustration.

“We didn’t forget…we just temporarily spaced it out. After all, Grant Highschool isn’t as decorative and festive as Sava. I think the few spiderwebs they put up at the beginning of the month were torn down within a few days.”

“It looks like we have more work to do than I thought.”

At that moment, Amber returns with the baby taters. Cyrus immediately starts inhaling them, smacking TJ’s hand away when he tries to steal one. Amber then declares she’s on her break before pulling up an extra chair to the end of the booth right beside Andi’s massive container full of miscellaneous objects.

“Work for what?” Amber asks, trying to figure out what she missed.

“The greatest Halloween party ever,” Andi finally announces dramatically.

Cyrus rubs his hands together in excitement. “Another famous Andi Mack party!”

“But this one has to be better than all the last ones,” Andi replies. “It’s even higher stakes now than before. That’s why I’m enlisting all of your help to make sure that it’s going to be an awesome party.”

“What do we need to help with?” Buffy asks.

Andi smirks, reaching down to grab a huge list out of the container full of party ideas. She places it on the table in front of them so they can all read it. Then, she flicks out her duct tape pen, poised to write some more.

“This sounds…amazing!” Cyrus gapes, reading over the list. “Are you sure you need our help? I think this is perfect already.”

“I just need a few things from you all,” Andi begins, “First, Jonah and TJ, I need you two working on putting together a Halloween playlist. I need Amber’s help with setting all the decorations up because Bex and I will never get it done on our own. I also need Buffy and Cyrus to pick up a bunch of stuff at the store for me before the party. Also, bring Marty to get some decent snacks, because I know the two of you would just pick a bunch of gross health foods. But, most importantly, we have to have the best Halloween costumes!”

“Well, what are you going to be?” Buffy wonders, hoping for some inspiration.

Andi shakes her head and mimics a zipper along her lips. “It’s a surprise! But just know it’s going to be amazing! So, I need you all to dress up, too.”

Jonah raises his hand, “Can my costume be Boy Who Plays Guitar?”

“Ugh, yeah, that’s fine,” Andi sighs, knowing she shouldn’t force him to get involved in a more intricate costume. “But I expect great things from everyone else!”

“Don’t worry, I already have the best idea for a couple’s costume for Marty and I,” Buffy gushes.

Marty frowns, nudging her side, “But what if I already had a great idea.”

Buffy looks at him, unimpressed. “Let’s hear it then.”

“I was thinking we could each be a shoe! You be the right, I’ll be the left. We’re a pair, get it?”

Everyone looks at him, unamused, besides for Jonah who laughs at almost everything. Buffy shakes her head in disappointment.

“I was thinking more along the lines of a childhood TV show throwback, like Velma and Shaggy,” Buffy offers.

“You watched Scooby Doo?” TJ asks incredulously, causing Buffy to cross her arms at him.

“You say that as if you don’t still watch it,” Buffy retorts which TJ chuckles at, hands raised up in surrender.

“I’ll go as Princess Peach,” Amber declares, smiling at Andi softly. “After all, I have to look my best for the coolest party in town.”

Andi coughs abruptly, cheeks turning red as she looks over to the remaining two people. “TJ? Cyrus? Can I count on you two?”

TJ glances over at Cyrus, but finds that the other boy is staring down at his lap instead. Since Buffy and Marty are doing a couple’s costume, he assumes that him and Cyrus will do one, too. After all, they’re officially a couple now, as in they’re out at school and to their parents. Plus, matching costumes on Halloween are the pinnacle for couples; it’s usually just expected that you’ll match if you’re dating. So, TJ goes to answer Andi, saying that he and Cyrus will think of a creative couple’s costume.

Before he can respond, though, Cyrus blurts out, “I think my step-dad has an old jumpsuit that I could turn into a ghostbusters costume.”

Across the table, Buffy meets TJ’s eyes, surprise evident in her expression. TJ is also surprised. Why doesn’t Cyrus want to do a costume with him? He frowns, reaching for Cyrus’s hand again but finds that Cyrus moved them both into his pockets. In fact, not only Buffy seems surprised by Cyrus’s decision, but no one comments on it. Andi simply offers him a smile before looking over at TJ.

“What about you, TJ?” she asks.

TJ bites his lip and shrugs. He spares one last glance at Cyrus, who is pointedly looking anywhere but at him. “I’ll figure something cool out, I’m sure.”

The rest of the time talking about the party goes by painstakingly slow for TJ. Cyrus seems to liven back up and get into the conversation, but he still casts his eyes away when TJ looks at him. TJ hates the tension between them at the moment. Although they’re squished up against each other’s sides, TJ still feels like he’s miles away from Cyrus. Normally, TJ and Cyrus have this connection, this spark between them, but right now it’s fizzled out. TJ can’t decipher Cyrus’s emotions as he covers them up behind robotic laughter and half-smiles. Normally, Cyrus is expressive and easy to read; however, TJ just can’t figure out what’s going through his head in that moment. Is he mad at TJ for assuming that they’d do a couple’s costume? Why would he be mad about that, though, since they are a couple?

Finally, after forever, the group goes to dismantle for the day and do their respective tasks. Cyrus slides out of the booth, getting ready to walk home with Jonah, but TJ catches his wrist before he leaves.

“Can we talk for a second?” TJ questions.

Cyrus purses his lips before nodding, sitting back down at the booth as Jonah follows the others to wait outside for him. Now, it’s just the two of them alone together. Based on Cyrus’s lack of chattiness, TJ has a feeling that Cyrus knows why he stopped him.

“Why don’t you want to do a couple’s costume with me? I mean, we are a couple, right? Or do you not want to be—”

“Of course we’re a couple, Teej,” Cyrus promises, grasping his hand resting on his lap with a comforting squeeze.

TJ smiles, feeling at least a bit more relieved but also more confused. “I-I don’t understand, then. I just figured since Buffy and Marty are doing a couple’s costume that, y’know, we would do one, too.”

The smile drops off Cyrus’s face as he lets out a deep sigh. He rubs the back of his neck with a ducked head as he tries to think of what to say. TJ begins to run through all the possible reasons Cyrus is acting this way. The shaking leg, uncomfortable gait, inability to explain himself, the dejected look on his face…

“I’m sorry, just after Costume Day—” Cyrus stammers, voice shaking. “I just can’t.”

TJ’s heart drops in his chest. “Cy, I would never do that again, I swear. I’m sorry.”

“I-I know, really, but I still can’t get over that feeling I had on Costume Day. And then before with Jonah…I don’t know how to explain it, but I just can’t match with you. I’m sorry.”

Then, Cyrus stands up abruptly, barely even flinching as his knee hits the edge of the table. He checks the time on his phone, then looks out the window at where Jonah is still waiting. TJ stands up beside him, not wanting to leave things like this.

“I understand,” TJ finally whispers, staring at his shoes.

Cyrus smiles wearily, although the usual twinkle present in his eyes has vanished. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah.”

Cyrus offers another quick hand squeeze before jogging out the door to catch up with Jonah. Meanwhile, TJ is left there frozen, still contemplating everything that just occurred.

TJ knew that he hurt Cyrus, and he still feels guilty about it every day, but he never knew that his actions had that huge of an impact on Cyrus. Thinking about it now, it seems stupid that TJ didn’t think about it before. At first, TJ got upset with the idea that Cyrus thought he would bail again. After all, things are so different, now, and Cyrus knows that. But then, as TJ thinks about it more and more, he begins to understand. That look of dejection Cyrus had earlier, it matched the look on Costume Day. Cyrus trusted him, and he betrayed his trust. But how can TJ even begin to think of winning it back? TJ knows for certain that he can’t just forget about this or it may forever be a hole in their relationship that grows wider and wider each day. He just worries that there’s nothing he can ever do to fix this. After all, he’s already apologized numerous times. What else could he possibly do?

Lunch at school during the next week is more awkward than normal. Although he and Cyrus still act like a couple, holding hands and kissing each other’s cheeks, TJ can’t get over that subtle feeling of tautness between them. It’s like their relationship is a stretched rubber band about to snap. TJ can tell Cyrus feels it, too. In fact, Cyrus has been acting a bit off all the time since the day at The Spoon. He’s been a bit less talkative, although to most people it would seem like nothing is wrong. Andi isn’t really around enough because of SAVA to notice the tiny differences, while Jonah and Marty aren’t clued into Cyrus’s coping strategies. Buffy seems to be the only one scrutinizing Cyrus when he’s not looking. Every late laugh and quiet spell sends Buffy looking at him strangely. She begins to piece it together rather quick, as she notices TJ’s awkward looks on more than one occasion.

Soon, it’s the day before Halloween, and TJ is feeling more down in the dumps than ever. After school that day, he finds himself in one of the places that relieves his stress the most: the basketball courts. He would normally go to the swings, but he doesn’t want to have to face Cyrus there before he can think of some way to make up for everything. Frustration leaks out of him as he shoots the basketball at the hoop with exceeding aggressiveness. He’s not mad at Cyrus at all but rather himself. If he wasn’t such a coward that day, maybe things would be different. Kira coming into the equation just threatened to ruin everything between them, and they’re obviously still reaping the repercussions of her manipulation today. He grunts as he heaves the ball at the hoop as hard as he can, not even caring as it bounces off the backboard and skitters along the pavement. His heartbeat thrums in his ears, and he crouches down to try and calm himself. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, hand running through his sweaty hair.

“TJ?” A familiar voice asks. “Are you okay?”

TJ opens his eyes to see Buffy standing over him with a mild look of concern on her face. His first instinct is to snap back with the classic “I’m fine” method. That definitely worked for him before. He could also pretend like nothing was wrong, going back to playing basketball like normal, but Buffy would see right through that. Then, he thinks about how much he’s changed in just the past couple of months. Blocking things out or covering them up is a common tactic that the old TJ used, but he’s better than that now.

“I don’t know,” TJ admits timidly, dropping from his crouch until he’s completely sitting on the pavement. Buffy hesitates for a moment before sitting down beside him.

“You can talk to me, you know. I know we’re not super close, but you’ve grown on me, Kippen.”

TJ cracks a smile. “Thanks, but I don’t think anyone can help me with this one.”

“Try me.”

Not wanting to go into too much detail, TJ says vaguely, “I apologized to Cyrus for something, and even though he says it’s okay, it’s obviously not. I just don’t know what to do.”

Although there’s hardly any context behind any of it, Buffy appears as if she knows quite a bit more about the situation than she’s letting on. Still, she doesn’t press TJ for more information or even badger him for what he did to Cyrus.

“Apologies are hard, sometimes,” she admits. “I definitely struggle with them a lot of times. But…I’ve found it’s not really the actual words that count, it’s your actions.”

“Your actions…” TJ trails off, a lightbulb suddenly going off in his head. “Actions speak louder than words. That actually helped a lot Buffy, thank you.”

Buffy smiles, “Anytime, TJ. But also, do we have to keep calling each other by our first names? I have to admit, it’s kind of weird.”

“Agreed.”

With a determined look on her face, Buffy jumps up from the ground. She goes over to retrieve the abused basketball from the grass and tucks it under her arm. Then, she walks back over to TJ and offers a hand down to him. “So, Kippen, care for me to beat you at a game of one-on-one?”

TJ chuckles, taking it and letting her haul him to his feet. “In your dreams, Driscoll!”

As he plays, he feels lighter than before. He knows what he needs to do.

…

The next night, TJ arrives at the party just as it’s getting into full swing. It certainly seems to be a hit so far, with what seems like almost all of the students at Grant Highschool coming out to enjoy her party. Even from the outside, the house is decorated head to toe for Halloween, with crafty, spun spiderwebs hung from every corner and giant spiders creeping along them. Strands of Halloween lights illuminate the front yard in an eerie green color, while smoke from what TJ assumes are smoke machines leak out from the door and window cracks inside.

At the last second before stepping into the party, TJ rethinks his entire plan. What if Cyrus still doesn’t forgive him after this? What if Cyrus can never trust him the same way again? TJ doesn’t know if he could stand that. This needs to work. He needs to make this right. As Buffy made him realize, actions speak louder than words, and this is definitely making a statement. With a deep breath, he enters the house.

Inside is even more crazy and spooky. Almost everyone is dressed up in amazing Halloween costumes. Music blasts over the speakers which everyone dances with in excitement. Paper Mache ghosts and ghouls hang from the ceiling, lit up by colorful lights. Carved pumpkins line one wall, and there’s a place to bob for apples. Marty and Buffy are already over there competing, dressed up in their Shaggy and Velma costumes like they planned, although Buffy seems to be getting annoyed by her plastic glasses as she keeps having to push them up her nose. A huge table is lined with spooky punch and a gaggle of monstrous snacks. He has a feeling that Cyrus had a lot to do with some of the baked goods, as he knows how seriously Cyrus takes good presentation.

“TJ?” Andi speaks from behind him, voice just barely audible over the noise of the party. He turns, taking in her costume. She’s dressed as Mulan, and it’s obvious that her costume is hand made because it’s much more beautiful and realistic than any costume. She has a variety of fancy clips in her hair, along with a fake sword tucked into her belt. Amber stands beside her in her Princess Peach outfit, complete with the huge poufy dress and everything.

“Andi,” he breathes, “Great costume! You too, Amber.”

She looks him over with a knowing smirk. “Cyrus is in the backyard.”

TJ blushes, trying to come up with a good response but can’t think of anything. Amber and Andi giggle together before heading the opposite direction, patting him on the shoulders as they go. TJ figures that it’s now or never.

He heads outside where only a few people linger, one of them being Cyrus. He’s sulking in his costume on the very bench they sat at just a few months prior, except the fire is extinguished and replaced with giant pumpkins. TJ pads up behind him.

“You’re missing the party,” TJ states nervously.

Cyrus turns his head, and his eyes widen a comical amount as he takes in the familiar look TJ is sporting. TJ’s wearing the very Salt costume that Cyrus was wearing on Costume Day, colander and all. He looks and feels ridiculous, but he’d wear it for the next week if it meant Cyrus would forgive him.

“You…” Cyrus stutters, still in shock.

“I know that I really hurt you on Costume Day, and I know I needed to make it right somehow. Then, Buffy kind of told me how actions speak louder than words, and I hoped that maybe this would speak for itself?”

Cyrus stands, and a flash of fear courses through TJ as he worries that Cyrus will simply leave again. However, he actually does the exact opposite, and takes a step closer to TJ. They’re so close that they can see each other’s breaths in the cold air. Cyrus reaches up to adjust the colander on TJ’s head so it’s not tipping to one side. TJ quirks his lips up at Cyrus, relief washing over him.

“I can’t believe you did this for me,” Cyrus whispers.

“I’d do it again,” TJ promises. “And again. And again. I just needed you to know how much you really mean to me and how truly sorry I am.”

Dark eyes peer up at him, barely visible past his metal hat. “How could I not forgive anyone who’s willing to wear a colander on his head for me?”

TJ shares a grin with Cyrus. They find themselves inching closer to each other until finally Cyrus brushes his lips against TJ’s own in a soft, loving kiss. TJ relaxes at Cyrus’s touch, and things feel right again between them.

“I’m pretty sure Andi has some kind of cheesy beach shirt here,” Cyrus mentions breathlessly when they separate.

It takes TJ a second before it clicks. “Are you sure? You really don’t have to.”

Cyrus strokes TJ’s cheek with his thumb. “I want to match with you.”

And when Cyrus descends from upstairs wearing a pair of too small flipflops, a oversized beach hat, basketball shorts, and a completely unmatching Hawaiian-themed shirt, TJ can’t hold back his grin. This is how it should’ve been all along, and TJ hates that it took him so long to make up for it. At least now he can say that Summer-Salt is still their thing.

#tyrus #tyrus fanfic #andi mack #andi mack fanfic #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #andi mack fic #tyrus fic #tj x cyrus #cyrus x tj #angst #fluff #halloween #fanfiction

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victeazer-archive · 4 years

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Alright. Lets put this kitten to bed shall we?

I am alerted to uppastthejelliclemoon's precense after she posts some shit about that racist misogynistic homophobe we all know and love for writing alpha male munkustrap fanfiction and how shit has been taken too far over some shitpost blah blah blah idk. I scroll thru her blog being like what kind of person posts this? Seriously? And i stumble upon this au she had been indulging in which is terrible and you can look it up for yourselves. Apparently this was the second time this kind of thing has happened as well (being that she writes disgusting shit and gets called out for it) so let's keep that in mind.

Anyway im discussing this with my friend as we are both disgusted by this and he messages uppastthejelliclemoon directly asking for clarification. She doesnt respond. I get impatient and point out the fact that this shit exists on my own blog and tag her so she can have an oppurtunity to explain herself. She doesnt respond.

My friend replies to my post with his own commentary and additional screenshots.

People see it and respond appropriately in disgust as it is disgusting.

Uppastthejellicle moon decides to do a non apology in which shes basically like well I didnt INTEND to and im only being positive and also guys why did you tell everyone about this thing they could find on their own and not talk to me. Directly.

Except then she only got anonymous messages?

But then, when she is in dms with my friend, no one spoke to her? But then only anons did. BUT THEN SHE DID RECEIVE A MESSAGE FROM HIM EXACTLY. Funny that.

Weird how the story changes like that and ours doesnt. Hm.

Weird thing you'll notice is her claiming that well this shit she posted was a while ago and why didnt we address it then and im like. Hm. Weird you think we know every post you have ever made and know exactly when and where. Sounds a little like you think everyone MUST know everything about you at all times because youre so important. So important that you decide that the homophobic racist misogynist gets the clear over a shitpost and we are bullies as your friends call us despite everything showing clearly otherwise?

Anyway.

To the people reading this im sure youve realized im not a pleasant speaker when i know im right and am speaking to people who will die on a hill of nasty shit of their own making.

My friend, however, as you can tell from just the excerpt of their conversation is very respectable. He's gentle and factual and calm as he explains himself. He would ask me and his other friends if what he wrote was too harsh or innacurate before sending them for you see, he has a stress condition. Its very clearly stated on his blog that im sure uppastthejelliclemoon and friends have seen as they are able to message him.

See, I think my friend here did a great job handling this situation considering his stress condition, and i do not think that him having a stress condition exempts him from speaking his mind and defending himself. (Which jelliclemoon's friend ruvyr will later say the opposite of in the screenshots that follow, which is ableist, by the way, but lets keep going).

However, when you are discussing an issue with someone you know has a stress condition and you start to dogpile onto him with your other friend who has nothing but insults and a way of twisting their words to suit your narrative?

Maybe dont do that. Because now my friend had to vomit due to this outright gaslighting.

See, i have received zero messages from these people directly because they know that I wont be nice. They pick on someone weaker, my aforementiond friend, who did exactly as uppastthejelliclemoon had asked in the first place.

So.

Uppastthejelliclemoon gets a callout post for their horrible shit.

Uppastthejelliclemoon, whitmerule, ruvyru and probably more then decide to knowingly dogpile on the weaker of the two that made the callout post to the point of him physically vomiting.

* i wont be specifying who gave me this screenshot, but i believe it is a reliable source, heres the full one unedited:

Here it all is. The whole picture for you.

I suggest you block

@uppastthejelliclemoon

As they clearly do not take criticism well and as I have said, repeated the same actions that have been called out for previously.

@whitmerule

Who has a history of writing incestuous fics and frowns down upon "antis" (aka normal people) that speak up against this nasty shit weve mentioned today, and also participates in this blatant attack on my friend who did nothing wrong.

@ruvyru

For associating with them in the first place and just being a straight up bully as you can see in the dms they requested be posted publically

@statisticalcats

Who is literally into incest and uses terms like "purity culture" unironically to describe me saying hey, maybe racist, sexist, ableist, and just nasty shit like that, being bad!

@fiercejellicle

Well you know why. If not, look up purplezprout on my blog.

And just avoid these people in future.

Me and my friend @zitface are done with this drama, specifically. I applaud them for handling this situation well, but like i have said before, I will point out shit I find gross in the future. I dont give a shit.

Feel free to reblog, and reply with your favorite love song! Im working on a not disgusting fanfiction and need inspiration. Hope you all have a good day.

#cats fandom #yeah we're going there.

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secretcircuit · 4 years

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march manga reading list

i did a post abt my ongoing/future reading list but only included novels/nonfiction, not manga! so i want to also note what i am currently reading + want to read :) under the cut!

ongoing/caught up - witch hat atelier!!!!! (also known as tongari boushi no atorie, hence my tag “tbna” if youve seen that and wondered what it was about.) I LOVE WITCH HAT ATELIER. it has some of the most stunning art i have ever seen in all my life and the character writing is incredible. highly recommend. if you like fascinating fantasy worldbuilding, excellent art, and characters (many of whom exude Gender) ... i recommend giving it a read! i first read it bc of a wonderful meta post abt disability themes in the series and it has since overtaken my life in the best way. anyway!!!!! thats it

currently reading

death note (im like 20 chapters in?) -- reading because it is a COMEDY. god it is so fucking funny. there’s no way it was meant to be. but like. the (accidental?) comic timing of the paneling is just too good. i’d never actually read it before this and didn’t know who L was vs Light lmao. all i knew was the cool apple demon. anyway

jujutsu kaisen -- started it because i love some good shounen hijinks. i cannot resist shounen hijinks! actually, im kind of lying. the reason i started it was i saw a post describing gojo as having a “high on bath salts personality” and that cinched it for me

a silent voice -- i am trying to re-learn how to read basic japanese, so i figured it would be good practice to read slice-of-life manga written for kids (the furigana helps me so much lmao). honestly, it’s been great practice. i found a site called bilingual manga, which allows you to toggle between japanese + the eng translations, so i can try and see how much i can comprehend and then see how much i got. i’ve also learned a bunch of new words just by reading, so it’s nice to strengthen my vocabulary that way too. i can’t really comment on the story too much because im reading so slowly that im only on chapter one!

planning to (re/)read

2021 is the year of Fullmetal Alchemist (it’s its 20th anniversary which is bonkers) so i am planning to do a reread. i started earlier in the year but then got distracted by other stuff. still, i’m hoping to do a complete reread! i haven’t read the full series since it first finished publication back in 2010, and i never finished watching brotherhood either, so i’m excited to reread.

dungeon meshi -- i’ve started it! but i started it right around the time i read witch hat (all in one day lol) & didn’t get very far because i spent the next week rereading witch hat lololol. BUT. i am really excited to read it! i should honestly make it take precedence over jjk in the reading list but... here we are. anyway!

mushishi -- i loveeeeee mushishi. i’ve read and watched it sporadically throughout the years, but i want to read the manga start to end. it’s really gorgeous and atmospheric and i, a lover of odd bugs/creatures, love the world of mushi so much. plus i gotta continue my Year of the One-Eyed White Haired Anime Man* (* i know witch hat is not an anime. but it rolls off the tongue)

anyway, i don’t know how regularly i’ll keep up with updating these things, but i like to track my reading progress/habits and i don’t always update stuff on goodreads for various reasons. thank you for reading if you read this far!!!!!

#katertalks #kt reads

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yellowocaballero · 4 years

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gshgdh so ive read the current chapters of quantum suicide(9 to 5) and im just. in live eith the story so far???? like aaaa i just, you have this really really nice style of writing that just has such great vibes???? bdgshdv anyway so i was like 'hey i really like this writer, i shoukd check if theyve done other stuff!' and it turns out ive already read your other halflife fic hdgshd its good btw--BUT i went oh tma i know that and i checked that tag and it turns out ive already read like. (1/?)

half of.your tma fics??? like???? woah!!!!!! literally my brain went 'wait. i know you,' GDHSGDHD i rememer reading the road trip-kinda one w daisy and being like Woah and reading the coffee shop one and being like woah but in a very confused way HSGHDD itwas good tho i really liked it!!! bsgsbd anyway ive been LOVING the halflife one youve been writing even tho i feel like i remembered the name wrong but im! very excited for the last chapter!! i saw a wip by an artist i follow that couldve(2/?)

vaguely been of your fic and i. sent them a bunch if words to ask if it was bc i was so excited HDGSHSG almost like! ive done now gshgshdsh--thankyou for reading all these words btw!! i appreciate it B:) and i also! love reading all the words you write so thank you for writing!!! it seems like you write a lot i hope youre taking breaks and taking care of yourself!! hdhsgh anyway thankyou again i have you have a lovely week!!!!(3/3)

Thank you for the nice messages!! Quantum Suicide is definitely one of those “this is for me but y’all can read it if you want” stories but it’s great to see someone enjoying it. That is also true of the two other TMA fics you’ve read, so you’re really seeing my best work jaslkdf.

...if that work of art DOES turn out to be fanart, let me know! I always really love seeing fanart, it makes my week.

And haha I am taking breaks! I haven’t been writing much lately just because a ridiculous amount has been going on in my personal life that’s causing some serious fatigue. Don’t worry: writing is something I do for fun, in my free time, and my rule is that if it stops being fun I put it down and stop worrying about it.

Thanks for the comments!! Hope you have a lovely week as well.

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 5 years

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WhatsApp? Part 15. (Steve Rogers x reader)

Description: You’ve never been lucky with guys. You just wanted to catch someone’s eye, to be loved. One day, that’s about to turn completely - with one fake, completely imagined number a guy gave you.

A/N: “Let’s talk about s*x baby, let’s talk about you and me.”, going off the rails, as I always tend to. Enjoy, babes.

Warnings: Oh, first kiss like hello bitch? Some smut happening/implied at the end of the chapter. Also, I think it's time to properly hit it off and just slowly start to slide towards the end.

Word Count: 3.7 K

Tagging: @missdictatorme, @songforhema, @mikariell95, @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

Read the rest here: Part One Part Two Part three Part four Part five Part Six Part seven Part eight Part nine Part ten Part eleven Part twelve Part thirteen Part fourteen

If you like to have your readings in order :): H E R E

You couldn't actually believe that it happened - for some unknown reason, you found a fucking gem hidden amongst the other guys, with such a silly coincidence. Yeah, having Steve close could be described as a drug, simply.

The evenings after your work were the absolute best. It was nice to have fancy dinners, to go into some crazy places; but as the weather got crazier and crazier, you started to have him over. Sometimes, he even slept at your place. On the sofa, but you tried your best to stay cool about that.

It wasn't about you not being attractive or whatever - it was just about Steve being Steve. That was just a thing you discovered throughout the time. Steve being Steve consisted of holding your hand on the street occasionally, but just really innocently, sitting far away from you on the sofa, really gentlemen manners, never ever being mature or whatever.

Bucky told you that those things were completely normal around that man out of time - and that it was bullshit to wait for him changing the things around. Not gonna happen, girl.

“How about yesterday’s hangout?” - Bucky asked from somewhere between Deena’s neck as he kissed her tenderly. You, Buck, Deena, and Sam were hanging out for that day’s lunch pause and so far so good.

“You already know the answer, Buck.” - You mumbled and rearranged the glasses on your nose. Yesterday, Steve was having a sleepover at your place and you watched Harry Potter together. That man never saw those movies and Sam hadn't the time to show him.

It was all fun, kind of romantic, cheesy enough, it was fun with a lot of popcorn and some really sweet drinks. As usually, Steve fell asleep on your couch, this time during the three trials of the Goblet of fire. Then you turned the movie off, covered him in a spare blanket and called it a day as well.

“Lemme guess.” - Deena looked at you from under Bucky’s armpit and you almost didn't see her eyes because of the cap she was wearing. That piece of clothing was definitely her boyfriend’s. Sam Wilson, another of their friends, was walking on your second side, sipping some green-ish smoothie which looked disgusting to you. - “Steve was acting like Steve, wasn't he?”

“I’m tellin’ ya, girl. Ma boy is just all over the place from you, even after all the time ya just simply hang out with him...” - Sam threw a hand over your shoulder and shook you a bit, offering you a sip from that disgusting smoothie.

The more you got to know Sam, the more touchy and feely person he was around you. But it wasn't too much at all or something like that; it was just in a friendly way and you could feel that. So his huge fucking arm over your tiny shoulder? That was a normal thing for you at that time - after hanging out with Steve for three to four months.

The first date was something that almost made you explode with happiness - Steve really put some effort into that. It wasn't effortless after that one night, not at all; but Steve was still nervous around you. Sweet and caring, but fucking nervous. And you could feel that.

But you wanted to cuddle, you would beg to be kissed, you would bring him the whole world if he only indicated that he loves you. You just needed that - your patience was wearing. It would take only a slow push to throw you off the fucking cliff.

And you pushed his fucking smoothie away because it just smelled so terribly.

“You would bet your fucking birdy brain, asshole.” - You looked at Sam with a shocked face.

“Then fucking do it, girl, and stop yellin’ at me. It ain't my fault at all. Jesus, those hormones are just fuckin’ you up.” - Sam said and watched you like you were a fucking psycho. Yeah. The period was always the toughest time in women's life - and you were letting Sam and Steve letting to know your feelings. From the men, you were always only nice to Bucky, because he was always nice to you.

You didn't have your period, it ended up like three days ago, but you told Sam that it continued so you could behave like a dick to him without finding excuses, which you did anyways.

“So, it is pretty obvious to me. Because your little Stevie is fucking oblivious, we need to make a plan.” - Deena peeped from under Bucky and opened the door to the bistro you were visiting that day. As usual, there were a few ladies and some young boys who desperately wanted to take a photo with the less known Avengers.

You knew how to handle those situations with smiles - Steve had taught you, how not to freak out when someone wanted to take a photo with him. It usually happened when you and Steve went to the supermarket or to take some takeaway food. The people were just so happy to meet those superheroes in person, to have a small talk and to leave.

That was pretty ok and some fans of Steve, Buck or Sam even appreciated you, asked about your day and so on. Sometimes they even insisted on having you and Deena on the photo, usually adding something like “Even a supersoldier needs a shoulder to lay and cry on” or “Behind every successful superhero, there is a woman” and you personal favourite was “Superheroes find super girlfriends who can bare their whole history and personality and love them for who they are” (you saw that on one young lady’s Instagram story - there was a photo of you watching Steve with a dead stare when he was choosing his ice cream’s flavor for a half an hour; Peter had shown it to you while you were at work.)

“What kind of plan, Deena?” - You raised her eyebrows at her and she and Buck shared a stare like it was completely obvious.

“I would name it the ’Seducing Steve’ plan for work purposes.” - She said in a laid back tone and sat down into the furthest box.

And so, wizardry and witchcraft were starting when those three started to discuss how to seduce Steve Fucking Rogers.

---

“Oh, she's in a good mood.” - Bucky answered Steve’s question when he and Sam came back home from their work out. - “It is a pity that youve missed that lunch. We had such a good time.”

“Oh, yea?!” - Sam shouted from the bathroom so loudly, that the glasses started to shake. - “Yo girl almost killed me four thousand times, she was grumpy and a pain in my fuckin’s ass!”

“That is what you get from messing with the ladies. Oh wow, how sad I am that she didn't hit your forearm with that fork.” - Bucky yelled back and Steve was really confused - he was about to buy her some chocolate nonetheless and some other snacks, but he needed to know how he should act.

“WHAT?!” - Sam’s head peeked from behind the door at that exact moment. - “She started all those kinds of beef and now your taking her side? Traitor!” - The chocolate skinned diva closed the door again.

“I will leave you to that.” - Steve slowly put his jacket on, but Buck and Sam got into their beef so much that they didn't even notice that Steve is leaving. - “Today is the day od Lord of the Rings. I'm curious about that and I hope I won't fall asleep.” - He smiled and left the flat, writing you a super-short text.

Steve: See you at your place in ten.

---

You checked yourself in the mirror for the last time - you had a lumberjack shirt put on because according to Sam and Buck, Steve was secretly living for women in shirts; especially with some nice top under it. Fuckingly tight jeans were just something that needed to be and some high-heeled boots were it.

Sam said that you didn't need anything more than that.

But Bucky laughed devilishly, kissing Deena on her temple. You needed one last thing before you could call your plan a success. Other man’s attention. And Bucky was fucking sure you could achieve that, you little hidden she-devil.

And he knew that other man’s attention is something that can make Steve all worked up. Bucky chuckled; he was sure that it will be more than enough to work Steve up for not only just a kiss. But he shut his bitch ass up - if you will take a day off tomorrow, he will know that the plan worked.

When Steve showed at your door, you let him in - but only to put the paper bag near your fridge. Then you put your old, but the still sexy, jacket on. This one especially Deena’s favorite; she used to say that this jacket was making your boobs bigger and that it practically screams fuck-me-here-and-now. The only problem with it was that it wasn't really warm.

“You're going somewhere?” - Steve asked with a small smile, frowning a bit.

“Yeah. I want to leave for the night, have some fun in the downtown. Sorry that I didn't text you that I'm changing the schedule, I just thought that I can surprise you.” - You locked the door to your apartment and took his elbow to your hand, leading that poor and scared man behind you.

From nowhere, Deena took some tickets out of her purse - it was tickets to some local stage where a DJ would be performing. She wanted to go, but in the last while, she decided that she wanted to do something different - which implied that she wanted to fuck the night away.

But it was your chance after all - a chance that shouldn't be left alone. And if Steve would not hit on you after that? Well, at least you could drink your fucking ass off before showing him what courage looks like.

The night was pretty cold, today at least, but it wasn't that much of a long road. The sky was all iron cold and almost white, illuminated with the yellow shining of the city lamps. Something about that felt nice when you and he walked next to each other on the crowded streets, laughing and simply talking without the smallness of your room, without watching every move he made, if he wasn't closer or too far away.

He felt less nervous. Bucky got an idea why, but again, that fucker just smiled and sipped his diet cola without giving you a proper fucking answer.

"So, we're in front of the club. Come on, I wanna have some fun!" - You smiled and basically dragged that poor man inside. Oh yeah. Modern-day disco - Steve Rogers's personal nightmare. His greatest enemy which he couldn't beat even if he tried to.

There was a lot of young people - including people from the age of eighteen, maybe even younger, and up. Steve wasn't feeling his best, that was for sure. But he was doing it for you, that kept him going.

The show itself was good - you screamed most of the lyrics because you knew them from when you and Pete turned on the radio and sang along. That man was a fucking bomb of that summer, which made you wonder why would Deena give up on that tickets so easily and why he was performing for such a small crowd when he could sell out stadiums full of people.

"I'm going for another beer!" - You screamed to Steve, he needed to lean down, and you shook the empty plastic cup. - "You want some?"

Steve would gladly not accept your offer, just because you were getting drunk as hell, and he didn't even know that you had two shots of some really good Russian vodka stuff in each of your cups of the beer. He was drinking as well, but he knew that nothing, except Thor's centuries-old ale, could bring him on his knees.

But he gently refused with a smile, biting those comments down into his lower lip. You shook your shoulders and left to get some other shit.

A guy trailed you down at the bar; he had his eyes on you since the very beginning. Your enthusiasm for the music, your dancing moves and knowing almost every lyric made him watching you all the time. You seemed to have company - but since the man wasn't holding your lips from behind while you danced, since he didn't even kiss you, the bar guy assumed that it isn't your date.

Just a friend. That's what Steve was in his eyes.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself!" - That guy shouted at you so you could at least barely hear him through the EDM and basses. - "I live for that, sweetie! Name's Rick, by the way!" - He offered you a hand. You accepted it without further thinking; it was warm, dry and he had a firm handshake.

He was pretty handsome, you needed to say that, but it was fading away in comparison to Steve's eyes. Girl, you needed to hit a home run that night so bad. You just needed to, not thinking about the rest which might follow right behind.

"Name's Y/N. Awesome to meet you!" - You smiled, getting the cash out of your back pocket.

"Leave it there, Jesus. It's my treat!" - Rick bumped your palm away and quickly paid the beer and two shots. He was watching as you poured them down to the beer with an open mouth. - "Wow. That's something. I like your style!" - He smiled widely and you chuckled.

"So what are you searching for in here?" - He asked when you poured half of the bear down your throat. You frowned cluelessly at him. - "Everyone in there is searching for something. Some of them are feeling tough since they used their fake IDs, some people are looking for a good fuck in here, someone's mingling out there. Might be my case!"

"Oh, really?" - You opened your mouth. Girl, you were so wasted at that moment, I tell you. - "How so?"

"A bad breakup. I'm trying to find someone who would like to mingle!" - He shouted over the start of a new song. - "You?"

"Hitting my best shot with a totally clueless guy! You see him? He's Captain America himself!" - You shouted and Rick suddenly stopped. Shit. Captain was eyeing him down with a dead stare and you were his fucking girl. He needed to back off as soon as he fucking could to save his own damn ass. - "He's the sweetest and most caring guy ever! You know? But when we're alone, he's all nervous. I need to make him make a move with me finally."

"Yeah. I don't wonder why he's nervous. You're so gorgeous!" - Rick complimented you light-heartedly. It made you smile and you tenderly pat his shoulder.

That was all Steve needed to see. A guy whispering you things, you touching his shoulder and laughing out loud. You had the most beautiful face when you were laughing. And he wasn't the reason for that laughter. Steve just stopped from anything he was doing and frowned, watching your every move.

He knew he was taking things too slowly. He was acting like a fifth-grader around you, but it had a specific and good reason. Steve was sure as hell that he would lose control as soon as his lips would touch yours. You smelled so good, you were funny, beautiful and for that matter, he was sleeping on ice for the last seventy years. And he was a man.

It would be a disgrace for Steve to say that he's horny. Or to say it out loud. But the truth is that is was almost painfully obvious for Bucky and Sam, and basically for every single person who knew Steve. Like Natasha specifically.

But sometimes, when you watched the movie like nothing mattered, Steve looked at your partially opened lips and eyes slowly winking, on that messy hair and a right t-shirt - and suddenly, all he could think about was sex. Or literally tearing the top off you, so he could see more of that body. Or just standing behind you while you leaned down to search through your cupboards, just to gently circle his hands around your waist and to brush his weakest spot on that peachy ass.

That was when Steve sat straight and moved even further away from your body. He didn't want to look like a horny rabbit in your eyes. Even if you wanted to fuck soul out of his body when the nearest chance comes by.

You were both such dummies in that matter. Even Peter could tell Steve's not relaxed bevause of something when he met him for the first time. Peter had similar feelings for Liz Allen, but he was just itching to kiss her. Peter could instantly tell what the fuck is going on.

But you couldn't. That's why you were standing at the bar with Rick's face practically laid on your shoulder. And Steve didn't know what to do first - if he should beat the soul out of his fucking body or if he should you home.

The other option said way better.

You could see Steve's body coming through the crowd directly to you and you bit your lip. Fucking Bucky Barnes. He was right; of course, he was, he knew Steve way better than anybody. You looked at Rick and raised your eyebrows, pouring that drink down.

"Wish me luck, Rick." - You kissed his cheek just to work Steve up even more. - "Hoping for the best lady for you to mingle with!" - You held your fingers crossed tightly when Steve approached you in his typical not-so-sure-about-anything behavior. He leaned down to your ear, touching your jaw with shaking fingers.

"Do you want to leave this place?" - He asked in a sultry tone and you smiled at him. You were drunk, your eyes were shining, your smile was big as ever and even though the beer was smelling from you, you were one of the sexiest ladies Steve has ever seen. So when you nodded, he exhaled.

Oh man, did he finally worked up the courage to do you things you will never forget? He was all heated up when you stood in front of the club as you watched the first snowflakes of that year fall down onto the ground.

He covered you in his jacket because your fuck-me jacket was lost somewhere inside.

"Your place or mine?" - He whispered, playing with his thumbs on your jawline.

"What?" - You asked drunkenly and giggled.

"Don't you try to play that innocent card on me now." - He stood up laughing, watching the people looking at you. No stupid photos now; he would most likely kill them if they would ask. Right now, he had some bigger problems which you needed to solve. - "I know what you're after. And I'm after that as well, kitten. So... I'm asking, you if it's your place or mine."

Sam was at home at that time - not much of a problem for Rogers. He would just swing you on his shoulder, look at his friend and he knew that Sam would immediately know that he should leave the place hella fast. Buck was over at Deena's and Steve knew that they're probably occupied by each other as well.

"Mine. Definitely mine." - You sighed and let him lead you home through the crowds of people. They were staring at you two - Cap and his drunk girlfriend. Oh, did Steve know that his reputation will be torn apart in tomorrow's news and he couldn't care less?

Steve was sure that Tony will be making fun of him or teasing him alongside Clint, Bucky and Sam will be eager to hear every single detail, Natasha will have that sultry face and curious eyes - but Steve decided that every one of them could go fuck themselves if they want.

All he wanted at that moment was you, finally naked, in the shortest time possible.

You almost crashed the door to your flat. The first kiss sure wasn't as romantic or slow or pure as would've wished, but you didn't think about that much. Why? Your back was pressed to the wall next to your door as you were slowly turning into a moaning mess.

There was a little thing that nobody knew about Captain America himself, maybe even Bucky didn't - he was extremely eager. Thanks to his self-control, he was somehow able to hide that element of his personality in front of the others. But he knew how he acts when he has nothing that would make him stop.

The warmth of someone's body leads to touching. Touch leads to a kiss. The kiss leads to foreplay. Foreplay leads to showing you the heaven's gate. That was just how he saw things.

You stripped the jacked off your body in a short five seconds, along with the shirt. You could hear your furniture moving, falling down and crashing onto the ground. You didn't fucking care at all.

Steve was hot under your touch, firm and smooth, his kisses were sweeter than Bucky's plums and the palms on your ass were making you nuts.

Boy, you didn't know what pleasure the man out of time will bring you that night; but you couldn't wait.

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x reader #captain america #sam wilson #tha falcon #james buchanan barnes #james barnes #the winter soldier #mcu #marvel cinamatic universe #marvel universe #marvel fanfic #steve rogers imagine #whatsapp

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27emailsicantsend · 5 years

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Update: YDML

Hi guys! I just wanted to give you a little heads up. There may be some days where I don’t add a part to the AU for a day, two max. I had a good discussion with @dancerdramatic14 and I hit writer’s block a little. I have the whole story planned, but I am still writing the parts each day. I put a lot of effort into this AU so I want you guys to have a good post, rather than just mediocre content that’s rambley, filler, or doesn’t fit the context of what I’m doing. I want this fic to flow as smooth as a normal story so when I’m done people can read it and stay intrigued start to finish. This is a fic I am really proud of so far and want to keep it that way.

That being said the next part will probably come Friday or Saturday (I should be good to write again tomorrow night though so it’ll most likely be Friday). And this might happen a few times during the AU. I just wanted to tell you guys this so you don’t think I stopped writing 😂

Anyway, I hope you all understand and I appreciate those who have read and commented so far! It’s been a really enjoyable experience and I’m having so much fun with it. Just need a day to recoup :) thanks guys ❤️

Tagging those in my tag list for the fic so they see this:

@dancerdramatic14 @purplefacey @muffy-thatsit-thatsall @suzzysangster @losrgeekwhatevr @thebisexualweirdo @justforart265 @randomsmilingpotatoes @if-its-gay-im-in @bambiandambi @anarcoqueer1994 @alone-in-the-sunlight @youve-got-to-be-kippen-me @violetveneza @internallyscreamingpigeon @hereforthemuffy @smitten--kippen @tea-j-kippen @tylercamebackyes @someplacex @awkwardlonerkid @virareve

#YDML #andi mack #muffy #buffy driscoll #marty from the party #tyrus #am #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #fic #au #jandi #jamber #jonah beck #machel #rachel

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kinkykinard · 6 years

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What the Water Gave Me

Fandom: Star Trek AOS. Pairing: Leonard McCoy x female reader. Word Count: 5099. Warnings: vaginal fingering, anal fingering, enemas, vaginal sex, anal sex (female receiving), butt plugs. Rating: Adult (18+). Summary: You never thought you would agree to give enemas a try at Leonard’s suggestion, but in the end you’re oh so glad you did. Beta: @daughterofthebrowncoats. Author’s Note: Thank you so so so much to @daughterofthebrowncoats for inspiring this fic and pushing me over the edge into writing it! I’ve done my absolute best to keep it tasteful without being overly graphic in the wrong ways. Please don’t feel obligated to read it, but if you want to give it a try, I hope you enjoy it! Additionally, I’m only tagging the select few people who already know what the fic is and who haven’t run away screaming, but if you would like to be tagged in future fics like this, please let me know!

You’ve been preparing for this night for weeks now, getting used to the idea of what Leonard had told you he wanted to do to you. You’ve been reading, researching, and carefully asking around about what he had proposed one night when you’d been lying in his arms after a round of lovemaking and though you’ve heard good things, you haven’t been able to quell the undercurrent of anxiety you’ve been feeling.

Shifting around a little on your knees and elbows, you fight the urge to cover yourself. Your entire backside is exposed to Leonard’s view and though you can hear him in the bathroom next door getting things ready, you can’t help but feel vulnerable and like you’re on display. The sound of water running has your heart racing and pounding and while you trust Leonard implicitly, you can’t help but be a little bit terrified of what’s about to happen.

When the topic of enemas had first come up, you’d been skeptical and hesitant, but after a bit of reassurance you’d caved and agreed to try it. Leonard had been over the moon and had promised to take excellent care of you. He had assured you that it would be painless and wonderfully exciting, and so after thinking on it for a fortnight, you’d let him know that you were ready.

You hear the water in the bathroom stop running and unconsciously fist your hands tighter in the plush towel beneath you. You hear Leonard’s footsteps grow nearer and gasp when his hand settles gently on the curve of your lower back, rubbing the skin there in broad, sweeping strokes that help soothe you.

“Are you ready, sugar?” He asks in a tone much more gentle than the authoritative one he often uses in the bedroom, though the effect is the same.

“Yes,” you say breathlessly. “Please be gentle.”

“Do you trust me?” He queries further.

“Yes,” you assert.

“Yes��” Leonard trails, quirking an eyebrow and slipping his hand down to your buttock and giving it a firm squeeze.

“Yes Doctor,” you amend.

“Good,” Leonard says, satisfied. “Now I want you to relax for me, darlin’. I’m going to lube you up.”

Your heart rate soars again at his words; you’ve never had anyone or anything inside of your ass before and the thought of his fingers there is equal parts maddeningly sexy and terrifying. You shift a little as you hear the snap of gloves behind you and shiver in anticipation. Moments later, Leonard’s hand lands back on your buttock and pulls it aside to expose your anus. You bite your lip and yelp quietly when you feel a cold dollop of lubricant land right on your opening.

“Deep breath,” Leonard instructs.

A few beats of silence and stillness go by and then you feel Leonard’s finger pressing gently, just barely, against your asshole. Making a conscious effort to relax as it circles, massaging the slick gel into your skin, you resign yourself to his ministrations. Your face flames in humiliation at being bent over so lewdly but you can feel yourself growing wet as his massage starts to feel good.

When his fingertip first dips inside just the smallest bit a few seconds later, you grasp the towel harder, the skin over your knuckles stretching taut from the effort. You know Leonard felt your tension mount when he pulls back a little, instead continuing the slow and methodical massaging for a little while longer.

Eventually you relax and when his finger slips inside once more you manage to stay still and at ease. He takes his time working it in, adding a drop of lube here and there as needed to keep you comfortable. The longer he spends fingering you, the more you start to wonder why you’d never tried anything anal before; it feels just as good as Leonard had promised it would.

So far, anyway.

“I think you’re ready,” Leonard murmurs. “You’re relaxing real quick here.”

You nod, resting your forehead on your crossed arms and biting your lip as his fingers slips free of you. His other hand stays put, though, holding your buttock aside as he picks up a large squeeze bottle with a long, thin nozzle screwed into the end of it. You shut your eyes tightly as he holds it aloft just over your backside, allowing a few drops to dribble from the tip of it and onto your skin. The water is warm, you’re relieved to feel, and you take a slow, steadying breath as you feel him poise the tip of the nozzle at your opening.

“Okay?” He asks.

“Yes,” you allow.

You inhale sharply as you feel him press forward and feel the nozzle slide in deep. It’s only a couple of inches, but it’s more than you’ve ever had inside of your ass before and it feels intense. It takes you a moment to adjust to it as the flared neck of the bottle comes to rest flush up against your opening and you squeeze involuntarily around the hard, unyielding plastic of the nozzle, feeling a twinge of arousal.

“Here comes the water, sugar,” Leonard warns.

Before you can even think to brace yourself, you feel a sudden flush of warmth somewhere deep inside of your belly. You rock involuntarily back against the nozzle and earn yourself a soft chuckle from Leonard. He lets go of your buttock, instead stroking his hand up along your spine as he continues squeezing the water into you with the other one. It’s a completely new and unique feeling, but it’s not unwelcome and perhaps even somewhat pleasant. The heat of the water spreads through you as more of it is instilled and you moan softly.

“Too much?” Leonard asks, easing off a little for a moment.

“No,” you say breathlessly. “It’s nice; it feels good.”

You can hear the smile in his voice.

“Glad to hear it,” he says. “Not much left to go, but if you take this one like a champ, I’ve got another ready for round two.”

You consider his words as he increases the pressure he’s applying to the squeeze bottle, filling you up with the rest of the small amount of fluid.

“Let me hold this one for a little?” You suggest. “So I can get used to it?”

“That’s the idea,” Leonard assures you with a chuckle. “There, all in.”

You groan quietly as you feel him withdraw the nozzle, leaving you missing the sensation of being penetrated. You shift your weight from one knee to the other a few times but you can’t feel the water sloshing around inside of you like you assumed you would be able to. Instead, you just feel a little full and very warm.

You tense a little when you feel Leonard’s fingers gently part your labia and slip in the moisture that’s collected there. As he eases one inside and brushes up against your g-spot, however, you let yourself enjoy the sensations the friction is creating. Between the water in your belly and the finger in your vagina, you feel an orgasm building quickly and you clench your fists to hold it back.

“I don’t want to spill!” You gasp. “Len, please!”

His rubbing against your g-spot slows and his free hand comes to land on your hip, squeezing it to help ground you a little.

“You’re doing fine,” he encourages. “You can hold it.”

You shake your head as a fine sheen of sweat breaks out across your skin, making it prickle with goose bumps. You’re very suddenly feeling the need to release the water and you shimmy forward, scarcely even noticing that Leonard’s finger has slipped from inside of you in your rush.

“I have to go!” You exclaim, clambering toward the edge of the bed; you’d known the feeling of needing to go was going to be intense, but you hadn’t quite imagined it to this degree.

As you move to stand, Leonard offers you a hand, gently steadying you as you get to your feet. He presses a hasty kiss to your forehead as you stride by him, making your way into the bathroom and shutting the door behind you.

When you emerge ten minutes later, you feel a little shaky from the emptying but also more turned on than you remember ever feeling before. You’re aching to feel more, and it’s with a coy expression that you make your way back over to the bed.

The sight of Leonard standing at the bedside and adjusting the height of an IV pole he’s very clearly purloined from the med bay – a pole with an impossibly large, full enema bag hanging from it – nearly stops your heart. You bite your lip as you approach him slowly, eyeing the setup. As you get close enough, Leonard steps in and wraps his arms around you from behind, splaying a hand on your abdomen and rubbing it gently.

“Ready for more?” He asks.

“Yes, Doctor,” you purr.

Leonard nods, dipping his head to press a kiss to your cheek before nudging you towards the bed.

“On your knees then, sweetheart,” he instructs.

You comply easily, assuming the same position you had been in earlier. It isn’t long before Leonard is standing just behind you, pulling on a fresh set of gloves and uncapping the lube. When he touches you a moment later, spreading your cheeks again just like the first time, you relax a lot more easily and though it’s only the second time you’ve ever allowed him to touch you like this it’s already familiar enough that you’re perfectly content as he presses a finger inside of your asshole to lubricate you.

As he switches out his finger for the enema tip, you realize that this nozzle is thicker than the last one and you feel a little thrill at the thought of it stretching you even more than his finger has. As he continues to push it forward it occurs to you that the nozzle is shaped like a plug, long and somewhat uncomfortably wide at its maximum diameter. The discomfort eases quickly, though, as it slides completely inside of you and seats itself with its flared base keeping your cheeks spread.

“I figured that might help you hold this one,” Leonard says softly, strong a hand over your buttock and pressing the plug just a fraction deeper with his thumb, making the tubing running through the center of it bounce a little, sending pleasurable little shocks through your core. “It’s going to be a big one; going to make your belly swell with all that water.”

“I want it,” you beg on a whim a moment later, turning your head a little so you can just see Leonard out of the periphery of your gaze. “Please, Len. I want to feel it.”

“How can I refuse when you beg so sweet, darlin’?” He says, pleased at the state he’s worked you up into.

Without any warning, Leonard reaches for the clamp on the tubing and releases it, allowing the flow to start. It’s intense, so much more intense than the first one, and you can’t help but moan as you immediately start to feel full. You’re about to ask him to slow the flow down a little when you feel a sudden release and realize that the water has started moving deeper inside of you. The feeling that you’re about to burst fades and is quickly replaced by a pleasant warmth and relaxation.

As the minutes creep by in silence, you focus on the growing heaviness in your belly and the way Leonard’s hands have begun to sweep in a gentle, soothing massage over your lower back, hips, and thighs. You can feel yourself growing full, the skin on your belly becoming taught from the strain of all of the water inside of you, and soon it starts to become uncomfortable.

“How much more?” You ask.

“You’ve got just under a third of the bag left,” Leonard replies. “You can do it, sweetheart.”

“I’m getting crampy,” you whine softly.

You gasp as you suddenly feel a brush up against your clit and realize it’s the inside of Len’s wrist as he reaches between your legs to splay his hand on your gently swollen belly. He carefully massages all over your abdomen, easing the cramping quickly and returning you to a state of comfort and arousal.

“Better?” He asks.

You nod and take a slow, deep breath as you feel his hand slip away. You can hear him moving around behind you and you glance over your shoulder as you feel him pat your hip a moment later.

“All done,” he announces with a smile. “You did great, darlin’.”

“I feel so full,” you breathe.

“I want you to hold it for a while,” Leonard insists softly. “But I can help take your mind off it; make it easier.”

“Yes, please,” you say.

You can hear the rustle of fabric behind you and you can only imagine he’s removing his boxers – the only remaining vestige of modesty he has remaining. You listen a little longer, hearing the tearing of a condom packet and the snap of the lid to the bottle of lubricant. Before long, you feel Leonard’s weight on the bed between your legs and your eyes widen as he lines the head of his cock up with your core.

“Going to make you feel even more full, darlin’,” he explains. “With that nozzle in your ass and all that water in your belly, my cock’s going to fit inside you nice and snug.”

You bite your lip as you feel him press forward, pushing just the tip of his cock into your wet and waiting pussy. It’s already more intense than anything you’ve ever felt before and you can’t help but let out a wordless cry as he pushes in deeper, filling you beyond your wildest imaginings. You clench around his cock, panting as you adjust to the stretch and squeeze.

“Fuck,” you hiss, reaching down to finger your clit, adding to the maelstrom of pleasure you’re already feeling.

“You’re so tight, angel,” Leonard growls. “Is it too much?”

His concern warms but doesn’t surprise you and you shake your head. Clearing your throat, you reassure him aloud.

“No,” you promise. “Just… go slow.”

And so he does.

At first, the thrusts are very slow and short, just teasing more than anything, allowing you to get accustomed to the feeling of having something in both of your orifices. As you start to respond, however, bucking your hips back and bringing your ass flush up against Len’s pelvis, he lengthens the thrusts, increasing his tempo and grabbing onto your hips for stability.

“Oh God,” you moan. “I’m going to spill, Len! I can’t hold it like this!”

“You’re going to be just fine, sugar, trust me,” he soothes, slowing his rhythm for just a moment. “I know how to take your body apart piece by piece and put it back together again, and I know that you’re not going to spill so much as a drop. Not with this in.”

He pointedly reaches out and presses on the plug-shaped nozzle in your ass. The movement of the smooth plastic against your stretched and spasming hole makes a shudder go through you and you know your orgasm is close. The tightening of everything inside of you as your climax draws nearer is amplified by your fullness and you’re powerless to stop the onslaught as Leonard starts to move in earnest again. The rasping of his cock against your g-spot combined with the rhythmic thrum of your fingers against your clit has starbursts popping behind your close eyelids and you gasp for air as your climax hits you.

You cry Leonard’s name as the spasming starts up and grip the sheets beneath you for dear life. All you can hear is the whoosh of your heartbeat in your ears, the sound in perfect synch with Leonard’s thrusts inside of you. Within moments he’s coming, too, and the suddenly erratic thrusting helps to bring you down a little bit. You feel like you’re going to burst but you stay still as he finishes, gritting your teeth as he finally slumps forward, pressing his forehead to the spot between your shoulder blades.

“I’ve got to go,” you rasp. “Now!”

Though he’s still loose and boneless in the wake of his own orgasm, your comfort is paramount and Leonard quickly slips out from inside of you and climbs to his feet. With one hand on your lower back to brace you, his other hand goes to the nozzle and grasps it firmly.

“Relax, darlin’,” he says roughly, his voice gravelly in the aftermath of his climax. “I’m going to pull this out and you can go on ahead.”

You nod frantically, breathing in short, staccato gasps as you feel him tugging on the nozzle. You wince a little as he pulls it out, the widest part of it stretching you deliciously before popping out with ease. The second it’s removed, you scramble of off the bed and all but run to the bathroom, closing the door behind you as you reach the toilet just in time.

The next twenty minutes are equal parts relief and living nightmare as you release the contents of the enema. It’s even more fluid than you thought and you’re weak and shaky by the time it’s finally over. Your groan of relief and flushing of the toilet attract Leonard’s attention from outside of the room and you hear a gentle knock on the door.

“Why don’t you get into the shower?” He suggests. “I’ll join you in a minute.”

It sounds like an amazing idea and you agree easily. Waiting a moment before standing to get your bearings, you pull a few extra fresh, fluffy towels out from under the sink and set them on the counter for afterward. Eventually, you get to your feet and step into the shower, pulling the glass door closed behind you and turning on the spray; real water, not the sonic jets that you usually use.

As the heat of the water eases any remaining tension in your muscles and washes away the prickle of sweat on your skin, you hardly notice Leonard climb into the shower with you until his arms wrap around you, his hands coming up to cup your breasts. His thumbs graze your nipples and you sag back against his chest, groaning contentedly.

“So what did you think?” He asks, dipping his head to press a kiss to the side of your neck.

“It was intense,” you summarize. “I think I’d like to try it again some time.”

“Yeah?” Leonard murmurs hopefully.

You nod, tipping your head to the size, nuzzling his cheek.

“There’s something else I’d like to try, too,” you continue slowly.

“What is it?” He asks as he pulls away a little, reaching for the soap.

You watch him as he pours a bit of it into his hands and works it through his fingers before reaching up to start lathering you up. The massage feels heavenly and you fall silent for several long moments, enjoying the sensation of his fingers on you.

“I want to feel your cock in my ass,” you say a few moments later, breaking the companionable silence.

Leonard’s massage doesn’t stop, but you can feel the wanton need radiating off him.

“You’re all nice and clean inside now, sweetheart,” he murmurs, suddenly pressed flush up against you again, sudsy hands trailing down your arms to grasp your wrists. “Do you think you can handle coming for me again?”

You feel lust coil in the pit of your belly at the thought of having him inside of your ass and even though you’re spent from the evening’s activities, you find your body ready and raring to go again in an instant. Nodding, you press your ass back against him, wiggling it just a little to rub at his heavy, slowly-hardening cock.

“Yes,” you say emphatically, dislodging his hands and leaning into the spray to wash off the soap so you’re not covered in slippery suds. “I’m ready, Len.”

He chuckles softly, leaning forward with you and settling his hands on your hips, pulling you back up against him even more. You can feel his cock stiffening and straining against your buttocks and you reach for the grab bar at the front of the shower. Originally designed in case the gravity failed while one was in the shower, it makes a great hand hold for sex, too, and you plan on making good use of it.

“Stay just like that for me, darlin’,” Leonard instructs, pulling open the shower door and quickly stepping out. “I’ll be right back.”

You watch him cross over to the medicine cabinet and roll on a condom before pulling out a bottle of lubricant different from the one he’d used in the bedroom. From its more viscous, silky texture you know it’s silicone-based and you groan inwardly at how good you know it’s going to feel on your asshole. You shift your weight from foot to foot as Leonard applies a generous amount of the lubricant to his cock and fingers, and you reach up to angle the showerhead down further as he makes his way back over to you.

Seconds later, Len is back in the stall with you and closing the door with his lube-free hand. You feel the other one brush the cleft between your cheeks and you reach back, pulling one cheek aside to give him better access.

“God damn, sweetheart,” Len growls. “You’re going to make me cum before I even have a chance to touch you if you keep that up.”

You flash him a coy smile and wiggle your hips a little to tease him.

“Now,” he says, slipping his fingers further into the cleft and pressing one up against your anus. “Let’s get you lubed up. Don’t want to hurt you, darlin’. Want to make you feel good.”

You nod and brace yourself, relaxing into his touch as one finger slips easily inside of you right up to the hilt. It feels good – so warm and vital – but it’s not enough. Leonard can tell you’re ready for more just by how comfortable and relaxed you are around his finger and he doesn’t leave you waiting for long before slipping a second one in alongside the first.

“You really are ready,” he says with a groan. “You’re going to feel so good on my cock. Going to take me nice and deep, aren’t you?”

“Yes, sir,” you rasp, letting go of your cheek so you can hold onto the grab bar with both hands again. “Please. I need you. Now.”

He’s usually the one giving orders, but in the state you’ve worked him into with your desperate pleading and your clenching around his penetrating fingers, he’s in no mood to argue or put you off any longer. Withdrawing his scissoring digits, leaving you empty and wanting, he steps in so his cock is probing at your opening. One hand goes to your hip and the other to his cock, guiding it slowly into you. As soon as his head slips inside, you let out a strangled cry of ecstasy and feel the blood rush to your head as arousal washes over you.

“I’m going to go slow, baby girl,” Leonard assures you. “Going to watch my cock disappear into you one inch at a time.”

You desperately want him to just get on with it already, but at the same time you’ve heard horror stories about people taking it too fast with anal – especially their first time – and so you’re happy to let him ease into it. So far it feels incredible and you don’t want anything in the world to change that.

You breathe slow and deep as he starts to push deeper, feeling your heart hammering in your rib cage as his cock presses forward, filling you up and stretching you more than you’ve ever felt before. The burn of the stretch is a little bit uncomfortable but far too exciting to be bothersome and it only adds to your arousal. The thought of Leonard’s cock entering your ass is dizzying and you grip the grab bar just a little bit harder to compensate for how weak in the knees you suddenly find yourself.

“I want you to film us sometime,” you blurt, unable to hold back the thought. “I want to watch you penetrating me.”

“Christ, sugar,” Leonard growls. “You’re going to kill me.”

You laugh softly, though it turns to a gasp a moment later as you feel him bottom out inside of you, his pelvis flush against your backside. Reaching back, you run your fingers over the spot where the two of you are joined, groaning at how taut you feel around him. Leonard echoes the noise with one of his own as he runs both hands up your sides to cup your breasts. He pinches at your nipples gently, just enough to send a shock of arousal through you as he allows you to get used to having him inside.

“You can move, Len,” you grind out after a minute or two of stillness. “You’re not going to break me.”

Leonard gives no indication that he’s heard you until you feel him pulling back a moment later. The sensation of friction is incredibly sexy and you cant your hips forward a little to speed him along. You’re desperate to increase the pace, to feel the drag of his cock against your sensitive walls. Submitting completely, you drop your shoulders so that your ass is well presented, all the while keeping your hands on the grab bar to keep the two of you stable.

You realize that Leonard needs no more encouragement as he starts to thrust. It’s a leisurely in and out at first, comfortable but teasing, though it quickly becomes so much more. It’s wildly different from having him in your pussy and it feels incredible. The lubricant makes the slide of flesh on flesh effortless and heightens the sensation. Leonard’s harsh breaths and groans of ecstasy only add to the rush and it’s all you can do to grit your teeth so that you don’t splinter apart in a climax just yet; you want this to go on forever.

You aren’t sure how long it goes on as the thrusts become raw, carnal. All you know is that you’ve never felt a climax as big as the one you have building coming before. Your legs are shaking from the effort it’s taking not to come apart at the seams and you’re sure Leonard can feel the thundering of your heartbeat against the palm he’s got beneath your breast.

One more deep, hard thrust and it’s all you can take. You scream Leonard’s name as you tip over the precipice, climaxing so hard you can barely breathe. The shower water has long since gone cold but your skin feels like it’s on fire as you spasm around Leonard’s cock, thankful for the support he’s providing with his grip on your ribcage.

As your orgasm rages on, you can feel Leonard’s cock thickening inside of you and within second you’re coming together. You wish you could feel him coming inside of you without the condom, feel him filling you to the brim with his seed, but for this time just the feelings of his hips bucking against you and his fingers gripping your skin almost too tightly have to suffice.

As the two of you come down you sag, your grip on the grab bars slipping and nearly sending you sprawling if not for Leonard’s hands on you. He rights you easily, holding you tight against his chest until you can find your balance. As he shifts so that you’re out of the cold spray, his cock slips from inside of you and you hiss at how sensitive you’re left in its wake.

“Alright?” He asks softly.

“Yeah,” you reply, smiling tiredly, satiety clearly evident on your face. “I’m fine.”

Leonard nods and loosens his hold on you as you pull away, giving you the chance to lean forward and turn off the water. The two of you take your time stepping out of the shower, and you luxuriate in Leonard’s hands on you as he carefully towels you off. The room air is cool on your post-coitally warm skin as you step into the bedroom and you order the computer to increase the temperature just a little, and you can’t help but smile as you catch sight of the now-empty enema bag hanging on the IV stand beside the bed.

“Scotty’s going to have a fit when he sees we’ve maxed out my weekly water allowance,” Leonard says wryly as he steps up behind you and places his hands on your shoulders. “What am I going to tell him?”

“The truth,” you tease with a wink over your shoulder. “He’ll never question it again.”

Leonard barks out a laugh as he steers you toward the bed and ushers you in under the covers. You sigh contentedly as he climbs in next to you and turns out the lights before shifting around so that you can lie on his chest. He rubs a hand up and down along your back as you lay your ear next to his heartbeat and let it lull you into a state of total relaxation.

“Did you really have a good time tonight?” Leonard asks in the otherwise comfortable silence.

Turning your head a little, you press a gentle kiss to his pec before going right back to listening to his heartbeat to help reassure him.

“I did,” you promise. “And I can’t wait to do it again some time.”

You can feel a tension you didn’t even realize was there leave Leonard’s body as he pulls you in just a little closer, just a little tighter.

“I’m so glad,” he whispers. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Len,” you reply.

Leonard drifts off to sleep very quickly afterward, but you lay awake for a little while listening to his soft snores and enjoying the clean and empty feeling inside the enemas have left you with. When you do finally doze off, it’s to fantasies of all of the other kinds of things you’re desperate to try now that you’ve had a taste of how good doing something unconventional can be.

Click here to see my masterlist!

#Star Trek AOS #Leonard McCoy #reader insert #lemon #fanfiction

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nachoscheesy · 3 years

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Automattic, Tumblr, and the future of the site

Hi, my name is Nacho, I am currently a mechanical engineering student in Kansas and I have an idea that could benefit Tumblr and their new owners Automattic.

A little about me, I have been on Tumblr since around 2010 and have seen this site change in a variety of ways. On top of being a current student in mechanical engineering I also have worked in industrial settings doing NDI requiring that I have a very high attention to detail. As well as a sense for process improvement and error reduction.

I tell you this about myself because I want to gain the trust of the Tumblr community, and show that I care about the state of this site as well as its users. I honestly believe if Tumblr mobilizes itself as it has in the past, we could be a force for good and positive change on the (hell) site. As well as stopping the steady decline of the site by people that seem to not want to listen to the community.

I am NOT associated with Tumblr or Automattic in anyway other than being a Tumblr user, I am hoping to gain enough momentum and attention that I would be able to get the attention of @photomatt to work together and develop Tumblr into what it should have always been. I am asking the community to please let me know what all you think are the major issues on this site and app. I have tried to compile to the best of my ability a short list of what I believe are the foundational issues that, if addressed, would allow tumblr to flourish and be a major player on the web.

As someone who has been on the internet for a very long time, I have seen the same trends over and over kill sites like Tumblr. While Tumblr has transformed in a variety of ways the core of the site is still the same. I say all this to prove that I do care about the future of this site and what happens to it, and I fear that Automattic will eventually end up using Tumblr to test out a variety of feature sets for other sites and apps eventually dumping it off again on the highest bidder.

Yahoo and Verizon had issues in marketing to this sites users, as well as its own internal strife with the actual @staff at tumblr offices. I think that is because the changing hands and people in power that have influence over this site are either dethatched from the way Tumblr works as a whole, or have not been listening closely to the inhabitants of the site, possibly both.

First, I wanted to ask the question, what Tumblr isn’t, I do not think that Tumblr is a social media platform in the traditional sense like the big players (Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.)

I think this might be obvious to some but not all, but Tumblr is a midpoint between social media, content creation, and brand development. With its ability to customize different aspects of a blog to meet hyper specific goals of the brand or user. Tumblr can be a site that makes it possible to cater to the niche or eclectic styles of individual users. As well as the potential for reaching large swaths of audiences with its spiderweb like user interactions.

Tumblr, in essence, is a sort of cross roads on the internet that lends itself to a wide variety of facets of what people want from the internet. Tumblr is also the breeding ground for a lot of creativity and internet culture that gets constantly reposted all over the web. I think this sets Tumblr to be a prime piece of online real estate, in the sense that the site and its users can quickly and effectively propagate a single piece of media with a high content value.

Second, I wanted to look at all the most common issues that plague the site and that have continued to persist over the years. Some of these issues being things like, stability, updates changing entire blog formatting, general quality of life issues like organization and linking to outside accounts, advertisements on the site, and overall clarity in some fundamental ways.

The core issues of what is causing this site to be slowly killed off at the root is multifaceted and can be seen by anyone who has been here long enough, however I think that there is still a chance to make significant improvements to Tumblr as a whole and build the site and app back up from the base itself. I believe if we were able to reestablish a lot of the base expectations that we have come to know from other apps, along with the uniqueness of Tumblr as a whole we would see a steady increase in users again. As well as a fundamental change in the way the Tumblr experience is felt.

I have summarized what I think are the core issues on both the app and the site its self below. This is not an exhaustive list of issues my goal was to understand what makes Tumblr fundamentally work and in what ways we could build a better foundation to highlight the sites strengths, while mitigating its weaknesses.

First – The App

Tumblrs app has been awful for a very long time, with a ton of stability issues and general functionality problems. Personally I almost exclusively use Tumblr through the app and had always wanted to see more quality of life changes done in the way of how other apps function. The Tumblr app feels more like it just works and gets the job done, but not always.

A few other things being what I think are compression issues with the app, and how things posted on desktop don’t look as good on the app. As well as the tagging system not working as intended all the time, with the tags disappearing for each reblog.

Second – Search Feature

The search function on Tumblr is lacking a lot of functionality that I think is pretty standard on other sites, as well as being able to search on a blog for specific posts or even just filtering by liked posts. I think this is one of the main points of contention with Tumblr on both the app and the site, having a search function that can’t return specific results with the ability to modify or filter them is a very baseline thing to have on any site or app.

Third – Bots

This is probably one of the worst issues on Tumblr that does in fact effect everybody, while I personally do not know much about bots and how they work all the way through. However, I do think that if Tumblr were to enable a sort of system that allows users to report bots and suspicious activity would help in mitigating this widespread issue. Bot spam and phishing, is a widespread issue that affects every site on the internet. However, I think if they allowed the site to be self-reporting with a system in place that rewards users who give accurate reports of bots and phishing by moving their reports to the top, while penalizing users who maliciously report users. I know that this might not be a perfect system, but I think allowing a site and its users to self-report and rewarding reporting in good faith would take a large portion of the weight off of Tumblr staff as a whole.

Fourth – Interconnectivity

Here what I mean by interconnectivity, is that Tumblr does not seem to want to play well with other apps or even its own internal links. One of the key things to bringing up the appeal of Tumblr would be to allow for users to be able to link multiple accounts on Tumblr and have their content be posted to all other media platforms as well. The ability to post from a single platform onto several other platforms at once would be a key in continuing the idea of Tumblr being a cross roads as well as an attractive feature for content creators across the internet.

This is a difficult thing to implement given that companies want you to use their app over someone else’s, but if Tumblr did push for a sort of “cross play” I believe it could be standardized for everyone across the web.

So, if youve read this far I greatly appreciate it. What I am asking for right now is for you to follow me, and reblog so I can build up momentum and hopefully bring some long needed TLC to tumblr that it has been missing.

Please PM me with other things you think the site and app are missing on need fixed in the meantime. Or things you think I missed, or should be considered more important, the goal is to bring the tumblr community together to improve the site.

Follow my blog as I continue to try and make a way for tumblr to keep its unique brand of weird. I will be adding a survey to my blog soon that will allow me to compile all the most common issues that the community feels are effecting them. This is just the first step in what I am sure will be a long and winding road to a better tumblr, so thank you in advance.

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roseamongroses · 5 years

Text

Antithesis(14): “do i rlly need to explain my gripes”

[Specific-Summary]: With senior year approaching, some stresses are inevitable, and they’re certainly not looking forward to them, but for now it’s summer and it’s okay to breathe a little while longer.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing

[Tags/mood:] highschool au, fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana)

(Ao3) (Previously)

(8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14)

D:Guess who finally got their phone/ keys back

R: !!!!

R: you good tho?? I mean what’s going on over there

D: I’m fine she just did the usual

R: that R: that is not any better

D: Probably but predictable is better then unpredictable D: that bs aside I missed your birthday

R: it's chillll

D: No it isn’t D: I’ll make it up to you

R: you don t n e e d t o i t wa sn t y o u r f a u l t

D: It kinda was

R: nope nope nope R: my birthday gift from you is you /not/ feeling guilty about it

D: I’m not too sure about that D: plus I’ve already painted you something so

R: <3 R: still i’ve defended your honor this entire time R: virgil was preped to kill you the first week tbh

D: why?

R: idk R: but he’s always??? worried you might ditch me ??? R: like???as if id let you do that???

D: I wouldn’t ditch you.

R: I know R: im emphasising my point for the overprotective ASSHOLE reading this over my shoulders R: anyway hows the wedding planning

D:she said I’d go to hell, I didn’t know it would be so soon

---

“You got a girlfriend?”

Dmitri flinched, turning off his phone, “Uh--,” he swallowed, forcing himself not to squirm under Dr. Montag’s gaze, “--Something like that…” His face burned, and he hoped his hair was enough to hide his face.

Dr. Montag raised an eyebrow, “You’re not doing anything inappropriate right?” he said, with a tone of authority that all adults seem to feel entitled to, “I know I’m not your dad, but…” He placed the jars of pasta sauce in the cart.

“You’re not--” Dmitri winced, “I mean--I’m not. Doing anything inappropriate, that is.” a bile rested in his throat and he smiled, “It’s just a...friend.”

He scanned his shopping list, “Friend?” he said, doubtful. Dmitri’s not entirely sure how he’s supposed to take that, “It isn’t that-uh Nate? Is it? I’ve seen his lot plenty of times at my office And while those kids seem fun at first--” he shuddered, “Trust me I could’ve done without some of those memories.”

Dmitri, scanned the overtly expensive noodles, “No it’s not Nate.”

“Diana then?” Dr. Montag listed, “She seems like a nice girl, your Aunt says that your close.”

“We were…” Dmitri shrugged, “We hardly have any classes together so I hardly see her anymore,”

Dr. Montag frowned, as if he caught the lie too, “Well whoever she is... you’re free to invite her along. I’m sure your aunt won’t mi….your aunt doesn’t have to know, ” he corrected, in a way that was much too nice, “I know Patty wants us to bond before the wedding, but I know your at the age where the last thing you’d want to do is hanging out with some old-man. So invite your ‘friend’ if you want, I’d love to meet her,” Too-fucking-nice.

“Uh,” Dmitri’s brain short circuited, unable to shake his unease, “Uh-Sorry no,” he shook his head, feeling his phonrre buzz again, “They wouldn’t want…”

He couldn’t imagine it, really.

Introducing Roman as his boyfriend, correcting people--casually bringing Roman up in conversation without feeling the room tense and conversation abruptly change. Changing his wallpaper to him and Roman --holding hands in public without feeling watched--kissing without needing to check and double check--. Changing the pronouns to he, him, his.

That was a lie. He has imagined it, he thought he had it, and he really fucking wants it again.

---

SipsipSipin:you ever like,,,,,,,think,,,,

HotNReady: rarely

SipSipSipin: i know i know SipSipSipin: bear with me babe

SipSipSipin: but like it's fuckin weird

SipSipSipin: we’re going to be s e ni or s

SipSipSipin: i can finally get the hell away from my dad SipSipSipin: but like i probably cant even move from this fuckin state

HotNReady: i mean we’re gunna be in the same boat

SipSipSipin: no we???arent???

SipSipSipin: youre gunna have colleges licking your boots wtf

HotNReady: ye but like,,,out of state is /expensive/

SipSipSipin: bitch

HotNReady: what im right HotNReady: im foolish not a fool

SipSipSipin: did you even l o o k

HotNReady:...no

SipSipSipin: how the fuck am i suppose to angst properly SipSipSipin: about you leaving if you arent even going far

SipSipSipin: i cant work in these conditions

HotNReady: oh is that why youve been so clingy

SipSipSipin: ... SipSipSipin: pot/kettle

HotNReadY: THATS MY BRANDING STEP OFF

SipSipSipin: you literally refused to leave virgils side for like ⅓ of our friendship

HotNReady: i was a very small child ok

SipSipSipin: yall were the same size

HotNReady:you cant call me out like this

SipSipSipin: sounds fake but really

SipSipSipin: you havent even /looked/ into out of state colleges??? SipSipSipin: really???cause i dont believe it

HotNReady:uh,,,,,I mean like,,,,,

HotNReady: I may have Looked a little

!!!taglist!!!

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

#Roman Sanders #Deceit Sanders #Sanders sides #roceit #sanders sides fanfiction #Antithesis #Antithesis (2)#ts remy

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quietborderlineinfo · 7 years

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Hi I have a question or want your perspective on something please. So I've seen myself in other people's descriptions of bpd for a long time. My t thinks I might have it. If I have it it's the quiet type. But there's just some things that I can't see fitting? Or understand how they would be "quiet"? And some of the criteria I only experience very rarely or with certain people. 1/?

alright hey stargazer!

i can totally appreciate how much thought and detail you’ve put into this - i remember being in that place, and its so confusing and frustrating and frankly exhausting. breathe; from what youve said it sounds like your T is paying close attention and wants the best for you. over time, you’ll figure out what diagnosis & treatment(s) may work for you. until then, just focus on getting better one step at a time.

keep in mind that below i just discuss how the things you said relate to the diagnostic criteria, but no one here can diagnose you. definitely talk to your T (and if theyre not a psychiatrist, try to talk to one of those if you have access to a good one, since theyre more inclined to diagnose, in my experience)

also remember that you only need 5/9 for a diagnosis - so two people w bpd may have only 1 overlapping symptom. (so if you dont see yourself in everything you read, thats normal)

For instance 1 (frantically avoid abandonment) only w/ 2 relationships I’ve ever had, and these are more feelings than actions I take 2 (pattern unstable intense relationships) I’ve only had one significant relationship in my life and it was very intense and unstable, but I have no history of it but I also have no history of what I would call “close” relationships. I’m mostly avoidant of them) 2/?

1 & 2: saaame. i once asked a T if never letting yourself feel close to people was a form of attempting to avoid abandonment, and was told that it can be, if that’s why you do it. it can be hard to figure out why you do something you may have always done though, so it helps to both try to analyze past experiences and definitely to try to look at your feelings and how they’re motivating you as you go forward.

I’m not sure on the whole feelings vs actions thing; ask your T cause i think there can be a lot of grey area. and for #2, i had the same experience too; everyone who treated me seemed to think that the one relationship was enough evidence, i guess considering that avoidant behaviour.

3 (id disturbance) I’m not sure exactly how this manifests or is separate from depersonalization. Like I don’t feel real when I try to engage in hobbies. I only exist when I’m doing things with others and then I feel fake and two dimensional (but this is getting a lot better and I’m afraid that means the symptom isn’t real) I’m not sure of my own hobbies and I have no internal motivations or knowledge base to make my own decisions. 3/?

. I can hardly tell right from wrong a lot of the time and use clues from others to help me. And I can change depending on the people I’m around. Is that what this means? This isn’t all things but some things 4 I am not in the slightest impulsive except if you count the impulsive texts I would send to that one intense relationship to make sure she didn’t hate me every few weeks 4/?

3. so depersonalization is a type of dissociation, so that’d fall under criterion 9. symptoms can get better and that absolutely doesn’t mean that you are now or have ever been faking; remission of symptoms with time and/or therapy is actually more likely than not. not knowing right from wrong is interesting cause at first i thought that was entirely unrelated, but realized it could come from not having an internalized moral system, which would definitely sound relevant.

what does fit the description is both not being sure of your hobbies (esp since it sounds like means youre not sure of what you enjoy/care about?), and changing depending on the people you’re around (if you feel like its more of an internal change than say, changing from business-appropriate speech patterns to something more casual when around friends vs at work).

the wiki page describes ID disturbance really well i think, but if you still have questions, definitely send them your T’s/our way.

4. neither am i, and i was still diagnosed. some people seem to think that it’s one criterion that has to be met though. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it is possible that it manifests only very specifically, like w me I’m only impulsive w self-harm or recklessly crossing the street.

5 (self harm) I’ve cut in the past but I can go years without cutting, but the urge to cut will always surface every few weeks whether I act on it or not 6 (affective instability) not sure I understand this. My emotions are so intense that I have a hard time doing anything but engaging in avoidant behaviors. Focusing on school and work is extremely difficult around my thoughts and feelings, Is that what this means? I can change really quickly too based on one thought or one outside occurrence5/?

Hi stargazer anon again. Sorry I’m all over the place with this I just get confused. So missing might be the part that addressed diagnostic criteria #7. basically yes I experience emptiness. I think The end of message 5 is relating to diagnostic criteria #6 (instability of mood) and message 7 is relating to diagnostic criteria #8 (anger). Sorry it’s a mess. But I don’t think there is anything important in the missing piece. I was just going through each symptom and comparing my experience w/ it

5. that certainly counts! (proud of you for keeping it to a minimum, hope you’re working w your T to eliminate it entirely!)

6. “Patients often describe affective instability as an “emotional roller coaster” that relates to a subjective sense of strong affects and emotions experienced in an uncomfortable, rapid sequence.”

what you described sounds intense, and to clarify the changeability i think it can have a lot to do with reacting really strongly to things in the environment/in relationships. you didnt talk too much about the changes, so id say it sounds like this likely fits, but warrants more discussion just to clarify.

7. aight √

But i don’t get angry at people usually. I used to have this pattern of withdrawing from my relationships because I was convinced they didn’t really like me and I wanted to see if they would come talk to me to sort of “test them” but knowing the whole time that I was a horrible person who didn’t deserve their love anyway and if they didn’t really love me then I didn’t deserve it (though have gotten way better at this with therapy). Is that what is meant by the cold shoulder? 7 I think/?

8. see idk, it’s possible that that’s anger for you, but it sounds like you’ll wanna think more about it. i think cold shoulder is more about refusing to engage someone because you are upset at them. to me, what you described sounds more like fear than anger, but only you can know that. idk about other quiet borderlines but for most of my life I’ve had anger far repressed 🤔

9. (for the sake of completion) depersonalization, which you mentioned in part 2, is a kind of dissociation

Sorry for this essay if not ok just ignore and delete. Sorry I’m just having a hard time cause so much of this feels like me but then so many of the hallmarks don’t at all, or only rarely appear. I think I have aVpd too and it makes it hard to know because some symptoms cloud each other. Thanks can please tag stargazer if you do answer it? 8/8 I think it was?

sorry for taking so long to respond! yeah its useful to have a full discussion with a psychiatrist about this especially when multiple disorders are in question. also remember that as much as we may seek the sense of identity labels can give us, you dont need to fit something specific to have valid pain that deserves to be treated and warrants a break from work.

please let us know if you have any follow-up questions. good luck - it’ll get easier with time & work!

#Anonymous #stargazer #mod abby #self harm tw

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