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softxsuki · 2 years

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Hello! I saw your 1000 follower match up event and I wanted to participate lol. I hope you have a great day, and your friends and family is doing well❣️

I was going to go on annon but then decided that there's nothing embarassing about this, so... yea :D I'll begin then.

1- Gendered pronouns dont really exist in where I live but I'd say it's she-her.

2 - The fandoms I really like are Tears of Themis and Obey Me!.

3 - I'm fine with both Female and Male <3

4 - I like romantic match-ups more.

5 - I'm an INTP-T

6 - I'm a december sagittarius.

7 - Personally I value humour, realism and honesty. I cannot tolerate bullshit where it's a game of cat and mouse, or if they treat me as a disposable object just to make me "jealous". I feel sick to my stomach when I see that. It's fun when you're friends since nothing is ever seriousin a friendship, but a relationship or a flirt has to be kept to a proper level with set boundaries. I can't do casual relationships, though ironically, I'm very afraid of commitment...

8 - Hm, I don't really have a type. Just tall men and women in general, I like it when they hover over me. I also love pathetic men and women lol (not in a literal sense, more like a comical sense. Someone who gets crinkled up like a tissue paper whenever they are in an unfamiliar situation or something like that)

9 - I'm laid back. I dont really show that I care about things until it gets late and I start thinking about it on my bed. I get emotional easily, especially anger is one of the easiest emotions to show for me. People say that I'm hard to read me and call me weird. Also if I really like something, I want all variations of it. Like a specific clothing piece, a particular brand of sketch books, etc. I value money a lot too. Though I can't do math at all.

10 - I love drawing, anime-style games, listening to different types of music and writing. I also knit sometimes.

11- I'm still a student, getting ready for an important exam soon lol. I have a cat, and I feed and pet countless others outside. I love aquariums, though I can't visit them because they are so far away. I despise alcohol because it stinks. I hate cigarettes too. I'm really good at hiding my irritation towards a person when they are present. I like gossiping a lot, though I never call people names if they haven't hurt me or my friends. I also like drawing a lot, and making up stories. I also tend to daydream a lot. And I can't live without the brief moments of time where i just sit down in front of my computer to watch movies after a long day.

12 - I love scenerios where I'm the one that does the comforting. I'm awkward around people who are upset. So being able to take care of someone when they are down is something I desparately want to do, yet I find myself at a loss of what to do. I love scenerios where I see my favorite character get snapped in two like a glowstick, yknow. If that isnt clear enough, I want to see heavy angst with this character. Could be anything. Death (could be the reader/character/anyone thats involved in the character's life), being wronged and extremely frustrated because of it, having their life-long ambitions fail, things like that.

1000 Follower Event Matchup #6

My event is now CLOSED, but I will be doing more events like these in the future. You can checkout the masterlist for this event here.

Note: Hello! Welcome to my blog :D, I'm glad you found me. I'm just noticing your Artem PFP now and (spoiler) I'm a little sad that I didn't pair you with him, I felt like he could be a little too serious at times, and that wouldn't be too compatible based on what you asked for. SO I'M SORRY. I HOPE YOU STILL ENJOY THIS MATCHUP :( <3. I think both of these guys will compliment you very well based on how you described yourself along with the more technical aspects like mbti and zodiac sign (though I never base my matchups solely on those bc they aren't always 100% accurate, they just give me a starting point). Anyway I hope you enjoy!

I match you with LUKE PEARCE and SIMEON

Runner-ups were Vyn and Mammon (didn’t choose them though, because I think even though they’re both loyal to no end, they wouldn’t be 100% clear about their feelings for you)

Luke:

Technical: Your INFP and ISFJ connection is pretty great. You both communicate perfectly together and get along well. There’s never any miscommunication with you both. You each bring out a part of each other that you couldn’t without each other, and you work well as a team in lifting each other up. However, you could easily tire each other out with high highs and low lows, so make sure you take reasonable breaks from each other. Once you lay out your differences and accept them, your relationship will go a lot smoother from there. As for you both being Saggitarius’ get ready for a life of adventure together. You will both want to travel the world and see and experience as much as possible together. And while being too invested in only having fun and not being more realistic, I think you both have qualities that level you down so you don’t get too carried away, which could bring problems in the relationship. But you both would balance fun and seriousness well.

Personable: Luke is your perfect boy next door. He has all the qualities you’d ever want in a partner. He’s intelligent, adventurous, caring, loyal, honest, yet still humorous and he can be a realist I think. He would make you feel very secure in your relationship with him. You know he’ll never have eyes for anyone else and he buys you flowers and tells you how much he missed you when he comes back from work along with a hug and kiss. He makes it a habit to always greet you before leaving for work and when he comes back home. (if you live separately, then he calls or texts you every morning before work and does the same or tries to see you after he closes his shop for the day).

Luke would NEVER try and make you feel jealous. Even in the beginning before he knew you had feelings for him, he’d never try and get those feelings out by trying to make you feel jealous. He wouldn't want to hurt you if you did happen to have feelings for him. I’m not sure how tall you are, but Luke is pretty tall at 5’11 (180cm) so I think that’s a great height. MMM I think Luke also meets your ‘pathetic man’ requirement in that he’s a little awkward at the beginning of your relationship. So things like holding hands and kissing are still new to him and he’s never been in a real relationship before so he does get a little FNJEAFEA when thing like that happen in the beginning. But I think he’d always be partly a little blushy and shy around you even when he is 100% comfortable around you because he still can’t believe he’s with you!

I know Luke has a bad habit of lying to try to keep you safe, so he tries to show you his best self at all times and keeps you away from the dangerous part of his work, but he does this because he cares about you. I truly believe that over time in a romantic relationship with you, he’d learn to let you in more and let you see even the ugly parts of himself. So please be patient with him and speak your mind about how him hiding stuff makes you feel! That’ll encourage him to open up a little more, but be a little patient with him :3

He’s super supportive in terms of your studies and offers to help as much as he can if you need it! He’s very patient, but I don’t think he’d ever make you upset or anything serious like that. He respects any boundaries you put up and you'll have no issues with smoke or alcohol with him. He won’t drink or smoke, especially if you don’t like it, but I’m sure he doesn’t do those things anyway. You love aquariums? Well, Luke will definitely take you on many dates to one, even if it’s super far, you guys will make it into a day trip. As for your cat, he’ll love that cat as much as you do. Don’t be surprised if your cat goes to him for pets and cuddles first NFJEAFJKI. Overall, I think this relationship would blossom into something really healthy and beautiful. Just give it some time!

Comforting Luke After Someone Close to Him Passes Away

Warning: don’t read if you don’t like mentions of people passing away

I really think Luke is the type to not want to burden the people in his life with his emotions, so he tries to bottle his feelings up or isolate himself

So when he finds out that one of his older, loyal customers passes away before he gets a chance to see the antique Luke had repaired for him, Luke kinda shuts down

He closes the shop for a few weeks and tells his detective agency that he can’t go on any missions for a while. He’s just moping in bed and hasn’t called you very often

SO of course, you know something is up and so you let yourself into his apartment after walking through the store that was already starting to collect dust from being closed for a while

You open his apartment door with the spare key he made for you and see the mess inside his apartment as well

It’s dark and dusty, as if no one has been living in there for a while

You make your way to Luke’s bed, which he is lying in, and he doesn’t even flinch as you take a seat on his mattress at the end of his bed and poke him a bit

He knows you’re there, but he doesn't want you to see him in that state, so he stays facing the wall

So you just start talking; Luke had already told you about his customer passing away, but he brushed over the way it had made him feel when he texted you about it

You knew it would affect your soft-hearted boyfriend though, hence why you gave him his space to grieve, but you were now here to shake him out of his sadness before he rotted away

You get up from his bed and start tidying up for him; starting with opening the shades to let in some natural light, you get to dusting and cleaning up so at least Luke can be surrounded by cleanliness which might help him feel better

As you’re cleaning, Luke finally turns over and just watches you do your thing

Just seeing you there in his once dark, lonely apartment makes him feel a little better, but he still stays in bed, unmoving

He just needs times and some more talking from you to get back into his normal groove

Make him some dinner or order take-out, it doesn’t matter, just get this man eating quickly because we all know he probably has only been munching on whatever he could find in his apartment since he can’t cook

Only when he smells the food will he finally get up from his bed and join you at his small dining table, made for two

He becomes a little more verbal, talking about his memories of fixing thing for the old man who he grown fond of, as if he was his own grandfather

He holds your hand across the table the whole time he’s talking

Just let him talk everything out and be there to support him in the way you do best

Eventually he’ll rise from his slump and be back to his usual self, but in the meantime he just needs you to be there for him

Simeon:

Technical: Your INTP and ENFJ pairing with SImeon is interesting because you both don’t fully understand each other, but that seems to be what attracts you both to each other. Your relationship his very romantic and full of surprises (the good kind). Communication is great as well, there may be things you don’t both agree with, but you easily adapt and get used to the way you both think. This leads to expanding your perspectives together. You are a Saggitarius and Simeon is an Aquarius, together you make an ideal pair. His love for humanity and community can be a beautiful contrast to Saggitarius’ who usually seek for truth and knowledge. Together you’re unstoppable and compliment each other beautifully.

Personable: Again, Simeon is very loyal, of course and super kind. He would never lead you on and makes sure you know how he feels about you all the time. As the extrovert in the relationship, he probably approached you first and stated clearly that he liked you and wanted to be together with you, so nothing will change that. As someone who is very calm, Simeon would be great at keeping your emotions leveled. You’ll never get very angry at him, but if there is ever a moment where you are angry, he’d know how to calm you down quickly without making matters worse. He’s very passionate about his love for you, so he’s super touchy and affectionate with you at all times. However, if this does become overwhelming for you, he has no problem with respecting your boundaries, just let him know.

Simeon is very tall at like 6’3 I think (190.5cm?) so he would definitely loom over you unless you’re taller than that. As a writer, he’d probably come to you with his latest book (uh spoiler if you’re not up to the part where they reveal that Simeon is the author of this series) for TSL. He respects your opinion so he would love to know how you feel about the direction the series is going in. AND he'd love to read any of your own writing as well if you'd like to share it with him. I see him wanting to be tech-y and play video games with you, even though he’s horrible at using technology and can’t text to save his life, but he’ll try for you!

Loves your cat a lot! Even though he’s not part of the cat squad like Solomon, Satan, or Barbatos, he definitely loves all creatures. Therefore, he would enjoy going to aquariums as well and will travel to the human world so he can go to one with you. He understands you commitment issues and he’s fine with that. He’ll take your relationship as slowly as possible, and if you ever have any insecurities, he wipes those all away with his words and actions of love. He wants you to know that he’ll never make you uncomfortable or betray you. He’s all yours and you’re the only one he’ll ever want. He learns to read your body language so he can become an expert at all things about you, including your ‘hard to read’ demeanor. In no time he’ll be able to tell what you’re thinking by the smallest of actions or words. Most attentive boyfriend ever, 10/10 great relationship full of respect and love.

Comforting Simeon

I think Simeon is more open about his emotions, so when the cafe he tried to open up in the human world wasn’t going so well, he went straight to you about it

After all, he respects you so much and he’ll take any advice you give him to heart

He’s very broken, since he wanted to make a life for himself in the human world so he could be around you more often, but things were not going as planned

He wasn’t getting any customers, and in no time he’d have to close his business (ofc he’s against using any angel charm to try and get new customers. He wants an honest business, as an honest man)

I can’t imagine him being sad for long though, he’s very positive and happy all of the time, and deals with issues like these fairly well because he can see the bright side of things

So there isn’t much comforting you need to do

All he needs to know is that you believe in him and know that his business will be a success one day

And boom, he’s feeling more hopeful already

He probably invites you over to his cafe and asks for your help in decorating or any other ideas that you think might help him gain business

The only time I see him ever really going full dark angel mode is if anyone ever hurt you or if you passed away

I don’t know how he would react, but I know it wouldn’t be so easy to resolve as his cafe issues

EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Posted: 9/25/2022

#tears of themis x reader #tears of themis x mc #luke pearce x reader #luke pearce x mc #obey me! shall we date?#obey me x reader #obey me x mc #simeon x reader #simeon x mc #tears of themis matchups #obey me matchups

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whatisgoingonpaul · 4 years

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Lost boys backstorys

I made a post while ago on my ideas of the boys past but now I want to update it. I just want you to know I’m still a firm Prequel lover/follower however we don’t get much info on the boys Pre 1906, so that’s what this is for! However personally I would have had more Max so this is going to be both pre 1906 but also include relationship with Max a bit.

I am also including my personal ideas on Last names and age. However I am under the idea that they wouldn’t know/take their last name seriously if the did know it cause- ya know. Orphans. This is going to be lengthy and I’m going to pin it, not just because I want it seen but also to remind myself in fic writing (when I don’t follow these ideas in a fic it’s gonna be Marked as Au- as I’ll probably be messing around with a different past.)

I’ll be doing appearance but only physical as there’s some stylistic changes. For clothing? Honestly so thinking workers clothes/cowboy esc

Also! Their stories are all going to kinda intertwine so I’d there’s not enough info under one theirs a solid chance there’ll be more for them under someone else’s!

David Hardy-

Age(as of 1906): 19

Born: 1887

Appearance: Average height, his hair a dirty blond- near reddish and is around shoulder length. Bearded. (Think doc but with slightly updated clothing)

Backstory:

David Is the only of the boys to grow up with at least one of his parents, living with his mother until her death when he was around 7. They lived in a decent, though cramped little space in San Francisco, by the docks. His father worked on and off- a not so stable style ending in him getting involved in not doing saviory things - getting arrested. His mother worked as a washerwoman. David worked the streets awhile, as a young child now left alone, he learned to pickpocket and live off what he could manage. It was around this time he had found Marko- doing the same thing he was - though arguably less effectively do to his more sporadic nature. At around age 10 the two became extremely close and rather inseparable, Marko even looking up to him despite being the older of the pair. However david wasn’t one to living completely criminal like... he did NOT want to be his father, which lead him to not drinking , EVER. (Even as a vampire he still doesn’t do alcohol.) he poked towards more honest work, also forcing Marko into doing the same , which he wasn’t exactly thrilled about- but did anyway. Tried. David did a lot of work on the docks, odd jobs and stuff like that- but it never paid even half as good as nabbing a wallet or cheating at cards. He wouldn’t be his father- he’d be better- better then all the nobody’s. More level headed then Marko though ambitious, big headed and still wildly child like- eventually Paul , Dwayne and Jasper joining the pair. Well now, David had himself a full on gang. Never robbery, not that far. The group pickpocketed , cheated at any sort of game or match, that sort of thing... they were still young after all. Smart enough not to go wild like some famous bandit (Though David will admit to his slight admiration of Billy the kid.). He’s a quick learner, and when he learns something- he learns it well- becomes a damn near expert. When he is good at something he is good at it. He is the leader out of the groups mutual respect towards him , quick thinker. Notable flaws: Huge ego, hopeless romantic.

Marko Connelly-

Age(as of 1906): 20

Born: 1886

Appearance: on the shorter side, golden - darker brown hair in this fluff of ringlets it’s long about just past his shoulder blades and typically tied back. Usually dirty somehow (Think Poli but with longer hair and updated clothing)

Backstory:

Born to a rich family , one of those who moved from east to west and actually did make it big. He was a pretty little thing, more a doll to his mother then particularly a child- only taken from Nanny to be dotted over or photos taken. However around the age of 3 or 4 things had tipped, scandal! Missing. That is what the newspapers said anyway he was found missing- was it that he was given away? Or stolen? He was never particularly a child to be quite or sit still or anything such as that... so who is to say? Marko doesn’t remember a lick of that either way as he was far far to young for it but he does remember being alone. This is how he had grown his attachment to birds, they always stuck around. He grew comfortable with being alone, having himself to depend on, getting good at grabbing what he needs- A mansion is stark contrast to dirty winding alleyways. He was always cursed with his looks- even filth covered at 6 he could make sad eyes and tend to swindle whatever he wanted... but he wasn’t completely quick. He’d get in trouble, his face memorable he could rarely pass the same trick again. At 11 David came across him, the two started working and living together (that is where they could find a place to sleep.) he sort of gained this complex. He felt he owed David , in some strange sense he became attached at the hip- a helper, a second- almost servant like the guy had saved his life and he is now the others. It didn’t help that at a young age, Marko had developed what was come to be understood as a deep crush- at times as teens this was reciprocated. As loyal and loving as he was to the other male he wasn’t nearly as cautious, as rule following... he had come to despise authority, to despise the fancy, the rich all of the crowd. He was never sure why. Even regular work got on his hate list... but he gave in and would try to do a normal amount pf work.. it never really worked as there was something, how he would sass, how he looked or smelled or spoke (neither him nor David really spoke ‘proper’ English - meaning no slang or accent). Around when Paul came things started to shift in the group, more mouths- more work and more thinking. Oh yea David and his thinking. Marko is a bit hostile right off the bat when it comes to people he doesn’t know, eventually he cracks and will be more loyal to you then to anyone you’d ever know. He opened up to Paul, a lot sooner then he would have thought the guy was funny and sweet - lil stupid too. David had this grand idea of a little gang, naturally Marko was all for it because illegal activity is fun- it was like a game to him. A liked stealing from pockets and playing distraction for David, as time grew he began to hate how young and gentle his face appeared to be. He LOATHED absolutely appalled the pity glances he would get, the hand outs the whole “oh you poor fragile little dear 🥺” he hated being babied and still does. He hated the stares he got on the opposite direction ... at first, it was funny, it was nice to be wanted in that sense rather then some baby. However... it grew creepy, it wasn’t women or a fella his age...it was more the gaze of older men. Marko detested it so much- he KNEW he’s seen what some of the guys... even younger then him ended up doing- he could see the occasional look in david’s eye. No he would never really consider....no. Paul was more his shoulder to cry on, someone to go to , to ramble to to speak with and just be with. The two were touchy, always leaning against eachother or grabbing their arms, laughing or sleeping or- eventually it became more then casual, it was serious. The two started ‘dating’ at some point- none of them were ever serious on titles but it was good to put a word to it.

Paul campbell-

Age (as of 1906) : 18

Born: 1888

Appearance: tall and lengthy, he has a mole on his left cheek, he has stubble/shadow opposed to a beard. He’s also usually dirty, dirty blond , long hair think Buffalo bill with volume and his hairline not receding

Backstory:

Grew up in a orphanage, hundreds of kids all stuffed together into a few rooms, often sharing beds and everything else. He was never a still child, he would always figit and move and shift - whenever he’s supposed to be quite or still like lessons or Mass he just couldn’t. This - got him most of the attention from the mistresses and overseers- much more quick to slap then to explain... he was docile , quick to flinch and try and stop. Never worked well. Once you get to 7-8ish you work if not adopted by a decent age. Sweeping, factory work he tried it all. He was particularly desensitized to violence at a extremely young age while working in a textile factory- he’s seen a kids arm come clean off. Terror turns to fascination eventually. At some point he’d stopped returning at night finding David and Marko at 15, he started hanging with them- it was safer in numbers that sort of thing- Paul could read a bit , David could write a bit- the three worked it out together. always so distracted- the others learned right off the bat he wasn’t built for pick pocketing no matter how hard he begged about it. Instead he’d do real jobs- sweeping , fighting, placing crooked bets that sort of thing. He always complains. A massive softie since he was young, Paul can’t quite handle being on his own- he’s used to having at least one other person around him at all times causing him to get quite hooked onto the other boys. He hovers around the same places. He is also a fan of dancing- Paul- is music obsessed the moment he heard the first noise of any sort of music he was hooked. He is one about fun- being restrained from it for so long as a child- always to sit out and watch or to think about whatever he did.. oh. Dancing, drinking, drugs, clubs, all of it is his kind of deal- he would drag the others with him when they had a bit of extra cash to deal with. Dwayne and his brother, when they joined on he was instantly accepting, unlike Marko he didn’t have the deep seeded trust issues, he was immediately touchy and happy to share a joke or a comment no matter the glares. He is the one to get Dwayne to lighten up a little bit, to smile he loves to see that smile :). He got around to dating Marko, when they finally put a label on it he was really giddy about it, making jokes and comments- he adores the little names like ‘sweetheart’ or ‘bo’ - he eventually gets around to just plain ‘sugar’ . Marko is the one who really entertains Paul’s love for dancing, the two of them trying to get the others to do something lighten up- eventually their pawing would bare fruit. Paul makes the best out of the worst situation, even if they end up sleeping on the beach more often then not- he somehow makes it seam alright. Except that one time he had gotten sand in Dwayne’s eye and all hell broke lose. He is the current youngest member of the group after Jaspers passing.

Dwayne Maher

Age (as of 1906) : 22

Born: 1884

Appearance: Tall, muscular , tanned(I will establish this now but Dwayne is Native American.) long Black hair with burnet highlights, reaches half down his back.

Backstory:

Born out more Midwest unlike the others he was not born in San Francisco, eldest son of a decent sized family of four kids. Do to conflict he and his younger brother skipped town, skipped state and fled to California.. better options you know?. He’s strong built, hard working and good with his hands though, rather playful most of the time. He looks after his younger brother closely, when there is work they work the same place, when there is not they both still do the same. Quickly took to David and the gang , having a tight knit bond with each of them. He was sort of the muscle - if there was trouble, he knew how to fight and it would likely work better then the knives the boys carried around or the gun David could barely shoot. It was Paul who got him to open up more, about himself and just to speak in general, he’s much more under his breath and jokingly commenting then he is saying something out loud- however if he dislikes something or thinks it stupid you WILL know it. Like David he carries the occasional thought of caution, however he’s not nearly as quick to worry. Maher is not his actual last name , nor does he ever mention it- he simply uses this one when it’s needed as some sort of identification or document. He’s surprisingly good at money, he ends up counting with David and is better at budgeting no matter how he may want or need something. He doesn’t speak on his past as he tries to make it seam he has little of one, he likes to make things mysterious he finds it amusing.

Jasper Maher-

Age (as of 1906) : 16

Born: 1890

Died: 1906

Appearance: shoulder length black hair, typically tied back and braided , tanned, string bean.

Backstory:

The younger brother of Dwayne who is much much more open on how he grew up, casually mentioning things he learned from his parents of his brother (he doesn’t remember his parents that much.) young hot shot sort of kid who’d much rather have action then he would some serious job, loud, energy filled and one for violence- however he’s surprisingly sweet. He often got himself and his brother into trouble. He was a quick and fast young child who grew surprisingly closest with Marko, the two having a habit for breaking every possible rule they could manage together. Their close friendship lead to Marko naming one of his birds after Jasper long after his passing.

Max-

Unknown age but he is seen as extremely old and powerful

Relationship with the boys:

After finding them he has decided to take them under his metaphorical and physical wing, acting as a sort of guardian. Food, clothing, shelter, he was everything the boys didn’t have and was surprisingly inviting in the beginning. ‘I do this for you, you on occasion do this for me’ sort of deal. He wasn’t a leader so much as he was a usual figure, the boys knew and understood him to be above them... so they followed you know? The whole new vampirism thing and the clueless kids- he had to explain and show nearly everything... especially to David, he wasn’t so much harsh to him as he was strict- more of a lead by example sort. Honestly he was father like in a strange sense- that someone is almost like a parent but very much your boss. See... with Max’s strength, there’s this almost automatic level of control- you can’t say no to him. You literally can’t not do what he asks (some supernatural level messing-). There’s something dark about him, in him that the boys still don’t understand in the 80s- but it scares them. It’s strange, it feels unlike him... he seams just like a Dorky , sweet man until...

Some random thoughts that don’t really fit anything

The boys are explicitly religious, past what you’d hear in passing or remember from growing up. Saying “oh god” and respecting religious officials are about what you’ll get

Whoopsies! This was a extremely long post lmao. Sorry for the long read but I could go on and on about them this was just a small blurb to all of it. If you ever wanna hear more do tell me. Also tell me if I should add tw for anything as I know I got a little dark at some points.

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destinyc1020 · 3 years

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Anon its not just timmy though I've been saying this since ffh press tour. If z is 5'10.5 then she's only an inch shorter than jake but she was around jakes height (5'11.5) wearing high heals and like you said her heels are 2-3 inches. Its bit a big deal anyway, she's lanky so she looks a lot taller than she is. Being tall is her brand and 5'8/9 is still tall for a women especially with long legs like hers

Yea exactly... And who knows what Jake's REAL height is as well! I'm at the point now where I just assume that most people in Hollywood (esp men) fudge/lie about their heights lol. 😅🤣

I remember back when Z and JE were dating, some Jacdaya fans were saying that JE might actually really be 6'6 instead of 6'5 since fans noticed that he seemed to be way taller than Z's mom in those flea market photos. And Z's mom is already super tall for a woman (isn't she like 6'4?).

Even Jacob himself was waaay taller than Z, and when you look at the shoulder-to-shoulder ratio, you can see the difference easier.

His shoulder almost looks like it's at Z's head!

People always talk about men being "short" in Hollywood, but you'd be surprised that it's actually not all that great for men to be TOO TALL either. It kind of limits the roles you can do sometimes. People always talk about being too short, but never talk about being too tall,.

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angstysebfan · 4 years

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Not Good Enough

Pairing: Bucky x Plus Size Reader

I usually don’t describe the reader, but for this one I will be. Sorry if it’s hard for anyone to relate, but I really am just feeling a certain way right now and needed to get this out.

You weren’t like the other agents on the team. Where most women in S.H.I.E.L.D or the Avengers are tall, skinny and beautiful. You were short, overweight, and in your opinion “ehh” in the looks department. You always felt like you didn’t belong, but the team always told you did.

When Bucky Barnes admitted his feelings for you, you had a hard time believing him. But after dating for 3 months, you didn’t doubt his feelings for you anymore. You have never been so happy in your entire life. You know all the other female agents question how this happened, but you were too busy enjoying your relationship.

One day a new female agent, Stacy, joined. She was gorgeous! Beautiful light brown hair that looked so soft, blue eyes that drew you in, and a body you would die for. When you and Bucky walked in hand-in-hand to meet her, you couldn’t help but notice Bucky’s reaction to her. You shook it off because you couldn’t deny her beauty either.

When she was introduced to the team, you automatically notice her eyes lingered on Bucky a lot longer than anyone else. When she walked up to you you extended your hand, “Nice to meet you Stacy. Looking forward to working with you.” She looked at your hand for a moment and then said to Steve, “I thought I was meeting agents.”

Steve’s eyebrows shot up and nodded, “Yes, Y/N here is one of our best. She is one mission away from take the vacant Avenger spot.” You smiled at him as she looked back at you, an unreadable expression on her face. “Huh, well, nice to meet you.” She walked past you to Bucky without shaking your hand. You were honestly shocked by her rudeness. You watch her interact with Bucky and see the flirty fluttering of her eyelashes.

Bucky turned on the charm, which you had to admit, hurt you. “Sergeant Barnes, I am looking forward to learning a lot from you.” she said in a sultry voice. Bucky flushed, understanding her meaning. “Uh, yea anytime doll.” he said. Your eyes shot to his face. “Doll” was your nickname. You looked from him to Steve, who gave you a sympathetic smile.

When intros were done, it was time for dinner. Stacy made sure she sat right next to Bucky, which drove you nuts. Bucky didn’t even spare you a glance when you were forced to sit on the other end of the table. It was like he didn’t notice you. Not that you blamed him, Stacy did take all the attention in the room.

You started feeling very low and self conscious, excusing yourself from the table. You entered your room and quickly went into the shower. You couldn’t help but let some tears fall, thinking you were not good enough for Bucky. Stacy was the type of woman he should be with, not you.

While lost in your thoughts, you don’t notice Bucky entering the shower with you, until you feel his arms around you. You immediately tense when you feel him, feeling the tears fall harder. “Doll? You okay?” he asked concerned. You cried harder, holding your face in your hands. Bucky turned around and held you close, kissing the top of your head.

When you finally calmed down and looked up at Bucky, who had a concerned and sad expression on his face. You step away from him and leave the shower. “Y/N?” he called after you. When he made it out to the room in a towel, you were changing into sweats and one of his hoodies. “Baby, please tell me whats wrong?” he pleads.

You look at him with a mix of sadness and anger. “I’m shocked you even noticed I left the table.” you spat. Bucky is shocked by your words, “What do you mean?” he whispers. You scoff, “Once a beautiful woman shows up, you suddenly forget that you have a girlfriend. Not that I blame you! She is gorgeous, and I’m...” you stop yourself before you sob.

“Doll, -” “Don’t! Obviously I am not your “Doll” if you are so okay with calling her that!” you screamed. Bucky shakes his head, putting his hands through his hair. “I don’t understand what is wrong! I was just being nice. I am sorry I called her “Doll”. Honestly, it meant nothing!” he yelled getting frustrated. You ignore him and walk to your bed, pulling the covers up to your neck.

“Fine, talk to me when you’re not acting like this.” You hear Bucky mumble, before you hear the door to your room close. You lie there for a moment, before you decide that you needed to fix this. You get up and open your door, walking next door to Bucky’s room. When you open the door you gasp.

Stacy is in Bucky’s room, sliding her hands up his bare chest and reaching up to kiss him, and whats worse is he is standing there holding her hips in only his towel. Tears completely flood your eyes and you leave the room without you noticing.

When Bucky returned to him room after your outburst he opened his door and saw Stacy standing there. “What are you doing in here?” he asked, annoyed. Stacy looks at him with innocent eyes, “I just wanted to thank you for being so nice tonight. I know I was asking a lot of questions during dinner.” He gives her a small smile, “No problem, but if you don’t mind, I want to be alone.” he said.

“Where are you coming from in only a towel anyway,” she asked, ignoring his last comment, and stepping closer to him. “uh... my girlfriend’s room.” he stuttered, feeling uncomfortable. “You have a girlfriend? Who?” she asked in surprise. “Y-Y/N, my girlfriend is Y/N.” he says feeling nervous.

Stacy laughed for a moment, confusing Bucky, “You’re kidding right?” she asked. “No, I am dating Y/N. Have been for over three months, though she is not happy with me right now.” he said, taking a step back. “Oh? Well, I can make you feel better,” she said stepping closer, sliding her hands up his bare chest.

Bucky froze for a moment, holding onto Stacy’s waist to stop her coming closer. He felt very uncomfortable since he was only in a towel. She started to lean in toward his face. Finally he came to his senses and pushed her away. “Agent, this is unacceptable behavior. Get out of my room, now” Bucky barked at Stacy.

Stacy was shocked, but didn’t want to push him any further and ran out of the room. Bucky closed the door behind her wiping his face with his flesh hand. He quickly got dressed and went back to your room, wanting to apologize for everything. When he knocked there was no answer. He opened your door and came in.

“Baby?” he called walking further into the room. He checked the walk in closet and then the bathroom, nothing. When he came back into the room, he saw a piece of paper on the bed. He opened it and his heart immediately dropped.

Bucky,

I guess based on what I saw, I am not as crazy as I thought. Though I must be crazy to think someone who looks like me, would be loved by someone who looks like you. I hope you both are very happy together.

Your Y/N

Bucky quickly ran out of the room and went to Steve’s. He explained everything that happened, which caused some scolding from Steve. “I mean I can’t believe you were nice to her after the comment she made about Y/N when she met her.” Steve said. Bucky shook his head, “I know. I’m a fucking moron, okay? But please you have to help me find my girl. I need her to know that I...” he stopped.

“You love her.” Steve said smirking. Bucky nodded and blew out a breath. “Please, Steve. I can’t let her think that I don’t love her. I knew she was self conscious, I should have made sure she was alright.” Bucky said kicking himself. “Okay, pal. Relax, we will find her. Let’s ask the girls first.” Steve said leading Bucky out of his room.

“You’re an asshole, Barnes!” Nat yelled at Bucky. “Yea, I know that already. Please Nat, I need to find her.” Bucky pleaded. “I don’t know where she is. But, if you got your head out of your asses and think you will find her faster.” she snapped.

Both men looked confused, causing her to roll her eyes. “Men are morons! FRIDAY please track Y/N and send her coordinates to Barnes and Rogers STAT!” she yelled to the AI. “Coordinates will be sent to their phones in approximately 2 minutes, Agent Romanoff.” FRIDAY said.

The men nodded their thanks and headed out. Nat watched them leave and then cracked her knuckles. “FRIDAY where is Stacy?”

You sat on a bench in Battery Park, staring out into the water. You honestly weren’t sure where you were going to go from here. A part of you wanted to go back to the Tower, but didn’t want to see Bucky or Stacy. You figured by now they were lying naked in his bed together. The image making you want to puke.

“Y/N” the whispered voice making you jump. You turn and see Bucky standing there, relief evident in his face. “Baby, I have been looking everywhere for you.” he said, sitting down on the bench. You immediately tensed, something he noticed.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, “Y/N, I swear, whatever you saw, was not what you think. Stacy... she... she tried to kiss me and I froze. I-I didn’t know what to do, until I finally snapped out of it and threw her out of my room. You have to believe me.” he said grabbing your hand. You don’t look at him, knowing that if you did, you would crack.

“Why would you want to throw her out? She is perfect for you Bucky. You’re perfect for each other. She knows it, I know it, you must know it.” you say quietly, your voice threatening to crack. Bucky kneels in front of you, holding your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him.

“Doll, she is not perfect for me? Is she beautiful? Sure, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life. I know you are self conscious about your weight and your body, but baby I love your body and I couldn’t care less about your weight. I...”

Bucky takes a breath and calm his nerves. “Y/N, I love you.” he says with confidence. You look at him for a moment and then shake your head. “How can you love someone like me?” you whisper as tears flow down your face. Bucky stands up and pulls you into his arms. “You are an amazing and beautiful woman. You don’t care about my past. You only care about who I am now. And as far as how you look, you’re so fucking sexy to me baby! I grew up in a time where out woman had meat on their bones, and that is what I prefer.” he said causing you to laugh.

“Buck, I love you. I love you so much! You mean the world to me, and that is why I was so upset you ignored me tonight when you met her. I thought that you finally found someone else that you wouldn’t be embarrassed with.” you said.

“I’m an idiot for tonight. I didn’t realize that I was ignoring you, and I’m so sorry. I should have defended you when she was rude to you, and ignored her. I promise I will be cold to her from now on, especially after the shit she pulled tonight.” he said kissing the top of your head. “And you, my love, will never embarrass me.”

You looked up at him, your heart racing in your chest. He leaned down and captured your lips with his. You stepped as close as you could, wrapping your arms tightly around him. When the kiss ended you whispered against his lips, “I love you.” He smiled and pecked your lips again, “I love you too.”

Permanent Taglist: @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff

#Bucky Barnes #Bucky angst #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #plus size #bucky x reader

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bokutosbestie2 · 3 years

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If you read “ The Great Gatsby “ or seen the movie, this story is going to follow the smilier plot!! There will be some differences from the real thing! I do recommend to Read the book it’s a classic! Anyways enjoy this story <3

The Great Gatsby Haikyuu AU

Summary: Kenma had moved to the west to learn about business bonds until he rents a house where the filthy rich live out in the west egg. Especially there is this one intriguing man who is Kenma’s mysterious neighbor named Tetsuro Kuroo. This mysterious man wants to reconnect with his former lover which little does he know Kenma is cousins with his lover which her nameIs L/N F/N.

When I was younger my father gave me advice, back then I didn’t understand what he meant until now. “ Don’t judge others without knowing them, because your mind can perceive things for what is not real. “ Sadly I only understood this until I met a man named Tetsuro Kuroo. Kuroo was a man of actions there would be no word to describe his tremendous personality. Kuroo did all good, he was the hero of this story it was the foolishness of others that prey on Kuroo. I wish I could've stopped the foolishness but it was too late until I realized.

It all started in 1922

I just graduated from Nekoma, I decided to move out on the West egg to study business bonds. This area was a prosperous and luxurious society. Many in this area were considered new money so what they say. Instead on the East egg lived the people with many connection but we're also abundant in moneyy. As for me, I did come from many connections too. My cousin L/n F/n has happened to live on the east egg with her husband Toru Oikawa. They had invited me over for dinner tonight, I haven't seen y/n in years after I have graduated from Nekoma.

Later that night I went to their house for dinner. Once I got there I see a tall very muscular man sitting on the porch.

“ Oh my my is that Kenma? “ he said with a very curious tone.

“ Well isn't it Oikawa Toru, how have things been taking off? “

“ Everything been fine, and I assume you here because of your cousin? “

“ Yes, she has invited for dinner hasn't she told you? “

“ Yes, she has, if you want to find her she sitting in the lounge area. “

I walked up the steps and go through the doors. There was a maid on every corner. After the many turns, I find Y/N sitting with a lady about her age.

Once I saw her, I can see her head turn towards me. She gets up and walks with a great smile on her face.

“ Oh, my Kenma have you missed me? “

“ Hmm no. I’m kidding yes I have!“ I say with great joy.

“ Oh lovely I’m so glad you have come to dinner I was starting to get lonely. “ she said with warmth in her voice.

“ Oh KENMA! You haven’t met YACHI! YACHI meet Kenma and KENMA meet Yachi! “

“ Well hello there! “ Yachi said with enthusiam.

“ Please to meet you! “ I say as I bow down a little.

“ Oh no need to be formal at all young man. “ she laughs.

“ And you too! “

“ Well ought this is going to be a fantastic dinner! “ Y/n shouts with happiness.

For some odd reason, this happiness seems too happy. It seems as she was trying to be happy, just like when you get forced to hang out with people you don’t want but must go through it.

“ Let me go get Oikawa so we can start feasting for this dinner! “

Me and Yachi were left alone in the table. Yachi had bright blond hair and she has a slender figure. She was a very delightfullly lady, I must say.

“ So Kenma? How are you enjoying Aoyama?”

“ It’s been amusing! “

“ I'm glad you enjoy it! Now I hear you live on the West do you know a Kuroo!?”

“ Kuro- “

Then y/n burst in with Oikawa, as she grabs his wrist.

“ NOW! That we are all here must we start the dinner! “ Y/n says

“ Let's start dear! “ Oikawa says as be digs in.

All was well until a telephone starts to ring. There was a tension in the air, the uncertainty in the air was everywhere. Oikawa seem as if he wanted to take the call, but as for y/n she seems sad.

“ HAHA silly phone! “ y/n nervously laughs.

We all laugh but the air was not quite right. Yet again the phone being to ring, this time Oikawa stood up from his chair.

“ I'll be back let me take this call. “

Y/n seems unsteady, she also arises from her chair

“ Let me go make sure everything is fine! “

Y/n seemed worried as she got up and followed Oikawa to the room.

Now it was only me and Yachi on the dinner table.

“ I do know a Ku- “

“ SHH you must not speak. “

I looked at her with a questioning expression.

“ and why cannot talk? “

“ Oh do you not know? I thought everyone knew? “

“ Know what? “ she seemed surprised of how clueless I sound.

“ Oikawa has another mistress in Tokyo!”

“ A MISTRSS? AS another lover?! “

“ YES, apparently they have been seeing each other for months now! Y/n has been putting up with it all these months!”Yachi said as I was stunned from this news.

After hearing this news we heard foot steps coming, as they came, me and Yachi behaved “ Natural “.

“ Oh sorry loves about that! “ y/n said.

“ Where’s Oikawa? “ I asked innocently.

“ He is too busy on the phone! Haha so rude of him isn’t it! “ y/n faked a laugh.

“ Oh well Y/n I think it’s getting a little late now! “ I say

“ Already Kenma! We barley know each other! Can I at least walk my own cousin out? “ she says

“ Fine! “

“ Ok then if Kenma’s going I’ll be going too! I have a nice tournament tomorrow morning! “ Yachi announces

“ So thats why you seem so familiar! You play golf DONT ya! “

Yachi gave me a big grin “ well don’t yea say! Yes I do, I’m not half bad! “ she winks at me.

“ I’ll be going now! Bye dear y/n!!” Yachi waved by to us.

“ Well, shall I walk you out! “ y/n grabs my wrist as she leads me out.

“ Kenma girls are such fools, we go for all so much trouble just for love. “ she giggles.

“ And why do you say that? “

“ Well you must have known that Oikawa has another women in Tokyo. “

I didn’t know what to say to her, all I can do is stay silent. She must have felt the awkwardness so she spoke up.

“ OH I can see your car! THANK YOU Kenma for coming!! You better come visit me more often ok! “ she came in for hug.

“ I will and please do take care of your self! “ I say as I get in the car.

After waving her a goodbye, I have arrived at my house.

I was walking towards my house until I realized I wasn’t alone. A shadow by my neighbors mansion was a man on a dock with his hand out reaching for a mysterious green light. It was as if he was trying to reach for something that he could not have. I looked again to see if he were there and he vanished, there was only darkness.

That mysterious man was Tetsuro Kuroo himself.

#haikyuu kuroo tetsuro #kuroo tetsuro x you #fanfic #kuroo tetsurou #kenma kozume #kenma x reader #kuroo and kenma #kenma x kuroo #haikyuu x female reader #kuroo x female reader #kenma x y/n #yachiru kusajishi #haikyu au #kuroo angst

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ihatebnha · 4 years

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I just know the people who only write any having pink nips are the same people who only write about girls being 3 feet tall. They'll be like "Izuku Midoriya, your new classmate, towered over you" and I'm over here at 5'10 like 🧍‍♀️ are you sure. Are you sure he even reaches my chin. And then when you ask for tall reader stuff you're not allowed to be cute you gotta be some kind of intimidating warrior monster. Like just admit you only think that short, petite, pale white women can be "cute." Admit it and move on.

I know it's not exactly the same as the nipple thing but like it's just another example of how a lot of people can't write reader inserts without it being inclusive to any type of reader. There's always gotta be some type of physical descriptor and it bugs me as someone who's never really felt like they fit any sort of beauty standard

i know EXACTLY what you mean.... even though it’s a bit different, it’s just another example of using the most desirable/cutesy traits instead of something that allows for everyone to participate.

Like, ofc it’s one thing for someone to leaning down/leaning up (because thats inherent to a scene)... but it’s another to be reading some random fic that focuses on your traits or out of no where for one to be like.... “___ loves how small you are!!!”

like obviously... i guess i can just ignore it.. but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t ruin the mood and i don’t feel bad about it for a little bit, either? esp since this also applies to bodyshape too, and happens all. the. damn. time.

and yea, when ppl do request tall!reader things its always like..... “___ was sooo intimated by you at first!!” or “he gets used to it quickly...” as if thats literally not the problem in the first place and people don’t get judged and bullied right off the bat for being taller or bigger than others, too..

i don’t even really think its that these authors are really trying to say that its only short and pale white ppl who are cute... its just that its so deeply ingrained in their minds that they don’t KNOW anything different.... as well as think that the only real way to write “erotic” fanfiction is by including these weird... details...

like literally.... what the hell. you can write porn without making everything abt being small and cute and pink.

i totally relate tho... like im not extraordinarily tall because i’m only 5′7, but i was this height when i was fucking 12... so i have such a twisted relationship with being considered tall/big because i was teased for being huge my entire childhood lmfao... by kids and grownups... so even tho i’m basically normal now, i’ll never really feel small (esp since a lot of boys r my size anyway LOL)...

its just annoying bc its like... ppl cant even feel good about themselves reading fiction thats supposed to be inclusive. idk.

#tbh idk how ppl can look at the bnha and think they give a crap abt looks #like i know those boys dont give a single f*ck abt ur traits or how u look lmfao #they boys first of all #and second of all... theyre heroes... too busy to be worried abt whether their wife wears a dress or not or whether shes short or tall #tbh tho this is why i literally just always imagine everyone as like.... 6'5 #i cant do it with the small man thing #don't worry tho bc they all fuck with tall girls regardless #hopefully my writing captures all this!!#ask #anon #caitie chats #Anonymous #drama

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bakugous-bakahoe · 4 years

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Nice to meet you, Mr. Wayne

Bruce X reader.

Summary: The one where (Y/N) tell how she meets Bruce

Tonight was a slow night, Bruce, Dick, and Damian went on patrol. When they saw what a slow night it was. Bruce sent them back to the manor. Now they were sparing with each other. Their mother was working on the Bat-computer while Alfred was upstairs making tea. (Y/N) was giving some directions.

“Now if you go to the left you will be right under them.”While she was talking she heard a thump from behind. She turned around and saw that Damian took dick to the floor. then Dick took Damian foot and slammed him to the ground. “BOY, STOP. you’re going to pop yesterday's stitches” Yelled (Y/N).

Dick lifted his upper body and turned to her. “Don’t worry mom. we’re good.” He said with a nose bleed. Alfred came through the elevator with a tray of cups of tea. He got closer to (Y/N). Has he set the tray down he handed her a cup of tea. The boys got up from the floor and walked closer to them. Alfred handed Damian his cup while he gave Dick a napkin to wipe off the blood.

As they drink their tea, their mother kept staring at the feed that was showing on the monitor. Her children look at her and they could see something in her eyes. That’s when Damian remembered their conversation from two weeks ago. “Mother.” His mother hummed as she kept staring at the monitor and gave a sip of her tea.

“Do you miss it,” Damian mentions looking that his mother. Dick was a bit confused has to why he would say that.

“What do you mean?” Dick question.

“Right you guys weren’t there when she told me. Mother is from a mafia family.”

“WHAT! Since when?” he looked at his mother.

“Well, Dickie if it’s a family a think that is since always.” She said with a slight smile as she raises her cup to her mouth. She looked back at the screen, then back at her children. “Sometimes, not the whole killing, drug dealing, and the kidnapping. But being out there and beating some people up was sort of my specialty. I never really love being the boss but I did enjoy kicking ass.” she said with a smile.

“Well, mother. Can you tell us how you met.”

“Well, I did say I would. It was about 20 years ago”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~20 years ago~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was a new life for me while my father was in Black Gate. I was trained by my family, well by my 2 aunts and uncle. I was was not yet accustomed to being a boss, let alone a mafia boss, but for now, I was enjoying the party. I have no idea why I’m here but they just told me that an invitation came for me, which was odd, but not unusual. My father is fairly known through Gotham both good and bad. I the other hand, that was different. He always tried to keep me out of if his work has much has he could. Now that he was gone, he couldn’t. So, I came to his art gallery party. This was unusual for the man who is throwing the party. Bruce Wayne, he normally throngs galas or party at his home but in and art gallery, that was odd.

I thought I could have talked to him. Not, tonight though he was busy keeping the old farts occupied. So, I signed a check and went on my merry way. I have bigger shit to deal with right now. Roman Sionis was parking at the trees, he is trying to get my territory. That shit could get real ugly real fast. Yet, I kept calm and told my men to keep tabs on him one move that was out of place was to be reported to me. Although right now I had another plan in mind. I was going to meet the man who put away her father. The Batman. He will be my gateway to take Roman down, Though he didn’t know that he was going to meet me. So, now I am here in the second tallest building in Gotham. And I am going to through myself to see if he will come and rescue me.

God, it’s cold up here. That is when I heard someone drop onto the roof, I was going to turn but I didn’t cause I knew that is if he sees my face he might know who I am. Then he won’t help me so, I will take my chances with a 1,050ft drop.

“Let me help you.”

“Why?”

“Please step off the ledge”

“No” I stepped forward and went down. I could feel the air pulling my hair up and that is when I felt it. I felt an arm wrapped our my waist and pulled me close to his chest. we landed on a nearby building while I was close to his chest.

“Are you okay?”

“I am now.” I look up at him. He, on the other hand, doesn’t look too happy. The real question is when does he ever.

“What do you want.”

“Well for starters you can be happy to see me.”

“I should be cuffing you to a spot and calling Gordon.”

“And why is that? I haven’t done anything wrong” I said in a sing-song kinda way while I walk to the railing and got a good look of the city. “ Anyway, I’m not here to cause any trouble. I did that little stunt cause I need your help.”

“And with what exactly?”

She turned to face him and her hands were stretched on both sides and said.

“Has much as I don’t like my job, I still have to keep up the fort somehow. An for that I need you you to take Ronan for me.”

“Why would I do that? I don’t do anything for criminals.”

“Yea, well I don’t do plans with the guy that took my dad to jail but what can do. Plus, a little kitty told me you do favors. Has much as she has stolen from me she has a point.”

“Well, I am not interested.”

“Then get interested, because as much as I hate you I need it. Ronan is coming to my territory, and he's going to start a war is he gets any closer. I don’t want that we know that there's going innocent people getting caught in the crossfire now for the love of. Will you help me.?!” He didn’t look impressed at all he just Hmm’ed. I was mad.

“Fine you wanna do that okay. I won’t do jack shit. I am not my father and I’m trying to clean a little not do worse things around here. So, Hmm’ed all you want I will let that bastard ruin everything to you can pick up all that is left.” I went to the door that leads to the stairs of the building, I opened the door. Before I left I turned and told him. “You are interested you know where to find me”

With that, I left the roof. That night was stressful after I got back I earned an earful about my aunts. Saying that I shouldn’t have gone to him for help. I was thinking they might be right, so, I gave it put for a while and tried to get everything under control.

Once again I was invited to an event, This time wasn’t to a gallery it was to a gala for the mayor. Most of the politicians are corrupted and like any other corrupt politician they need the mob behind them, God all I want is a freaking burger nothing else. All these men and women all pampered and only care for themselves. That pisses me off, why are all these people old there isn't anyone a bit my age to talk to. Now I have to be sitting at my table, alone, with two old pervs and an empty sit that the person has yet to arrive.

"And who are you, Little Miss?" one of the old men said his breath reeking of alcohol. I have no intention of answering. I'm here to talk to the mayor, donate, and leave.

"Aren't you going to answer?" The other man said.

"No," I said with no emotion on my face

"Do you know who we are. I don't even know why your here. This is the VIP table. Why are so important." These men are making me angry. They don't know that I could break their arms.

"I'm here to donate for the mayor and leave. And if I am in this table it means that I'm as important as you men."

" Are you sure you are as important as us or are you just here for the mayors in other business."

"That is in no way to speak to any woman, Please do have some respect." A sudden new voice came from the side of us. A tall man proximally 6' something, he has jet black hair and deep blue eyes. Bruce Wayne was the one missing from the table. Bruce Wayne. What an Ass.

"Mister Wayne, we didn't if you were going to arrive."

"Why are you saying something so stupid." He said as he fixed his bow tie. Damn this man is too handsome for his own good. He took the chair pulled it back and sat down. "If she is here it means she donates the same or more amount of money then you. So, please stop with the degrading."

"We weren't degrading her."

"No, you were just telling her that she may be a prostitute." The men huffed and both of them stood up from their chair and then left the table. Then he turned his attention to me. "Well, I don't think we've met. Do I know you?"

" No, we haven't. But I am certain that everyone in this room including me knows who you are," I say with a slight smile on my face. He smiled back and we started to talk with each other.

“A thank you is in order.” I take my hand and extended out to shake his hand. "My name is (Y/N) (L/N), Nice to meet you, Mr. Wayne

“ Well, Nice to meet you as well, Miss. (L/N).” He extended his and we shook hands

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The present ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What that’s it. Nothing more you just meet and them Boom you got together?!” Said Dick.

“No there’s more but I have things to do tomorrow, and it’s 3 a.m. I don’t want to be late. So, good night, please go to sleep, especially you, Damian.” She pointed at Damian. “You have school tomorrow.” Damian scuffed and crossed his hand.

“Well, good night boys.”

#batman x reader #batman #bruce x reader #bruce wayne x batmom #dick grayson #damina wayne #jason todd #Batmon #tim drake #bruce wayne #dc #bruce wayne x reader

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fkyumerica · 8 months

Text

Wed 12:11 AM

https://www.tube.com/watch?v=I6dG_QukIjI she told her rapist dad of all ages to attack any person she wanted. do the giants think they are nannies? yea take care of her. make her what you want. she says it his giant wife says it and bitch child says it. I had one waaah. could only inbreed with her family to stay there too.

Aggressive Dad wants to slap his daughter over tantrum! 🫣

she attacked us

with him

there are like 14 kids in there

multiple litters she had with him

nanny 9-11

the mom her and him sometimes she cant collect them all

hide them in the steps too

he doesnt have a fucking face either neither do them

need glasses to keep their face on

https://www.tube.com/watch?v=5muRMM_wpNY&t=1501s closed her mouth too and moved her face up

How To Beat r WORST FEARS In "RUPTURE"

mama cass

all apes were this

Wed 11:04 AM

they looked loike this

already

before their kids were born

and plastic surgery

they will keep eating off peopleks faces

and fucking them to see the kid doesnt look like it

eat eating them out to look like it

oral

and eat out i dunno

one fat ass thought of it

inner toilets

restuarants

mission/vividaldi did

for his wife

and his mother died

the name was that

if they lost their name they were uncontrollable and did not listen

it was pass the food over let someone get som

they were smaller

they had a kalima no more

to control all of them in the day

all the women died

and none were

after

i judged it and said it

i was the only one who was

and led the women

still

every person on the world is just shit to me

i led the men too

and they are men too, they have a penis to suck out

and i ahve to do that

with them

to live

because no one takes care of their kid

to feed it

and

she cared too

half a face

will die soon

and a woman

look at her statue

statute

it meant

she gave it

what she looked like can telll kill her

men said it everyday

around her

so she fucks everything up

and no one killed her yet

then she holds down while on all fours

to rape to death

to do it

a man knew it

she felt bad

now she doesnt care what she does to

and fucks hard

face up

why fuck it up

when i can tear it off

and gay

go together with a friend

baby bear

tetsuo shima

and raise them apart

from others

and apart

split them up

gay too

used them anyways

for free shit

and food

they are them

and what moms killed them for free boats

and ride!

motorcycles racing ones are that

mom cant teach it or kill bugs off them

head lice

from one tree

in front of davids house

i can see it from inside this house

he broke in and ripped her face off

again

women couldent see yet till their faces were set up again

it hurt them so bad they couldent concentrate or pay attention

and she went to tank me by raping me

saying i was as big as them

and i could go killing with her

so i did

885 guidos

in under 10 minutes

under 10 seconds yea bigger

i got to 18ft tall in 3 seconds

and watch

nefertiti is it

aa womans name

she couldent believe it

that i got rid of my reproductive organ

and went to go at my face to look like hers

holding my eye open to understand what she felt like with her face off

and mutated with drugs

so i had to kill her

at 18ft tall

another giant no one cares rape her

vividaldi would say ot

so i killed him and his family and replaced them with anyone, kids making taller

was usually what a man did

a woman would lay down and get sex from them until she was taller, and old was it

she was old

and there is no more

0 notes

boleyn-falcon · 4 years

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‘wouldn’t it be nice?’

okay so ever since i made my Joan and Jane fic (here) I've decided i wanted to make a oneshot for all the ladies and their queens! this one is a lot more happy because my heart can’t handle a sad Maggie rn like i’ll die.

this is also me just being a wannabe soccer jock because i finished my first season this school year :> of yea and if i accidentally refer to it as soccer and not football i’m sorry i’m a dumbass american

synopsis - Anne thinks today would be the perfect day to kidnap her closest friend and sports-related hijinks ensue! with maybe a slight side of bruises and concussions..

Words - 2593

Trigger warnings - none that i know of but tell me if you think i should add one!

Maggie loved the early summer. It was the perfect time of the year, not too hot nor cold. She could leave her window open to let in natural sunlight during the day, she’s always hated artificial lights, they give her headaches. It was the best time to just hone her skills and relax, she could let all of her stress just melt away. The brunette started learning a new song she heard so she could play it to the ladies and queens. “Wouldn't it be nice”, by some old american group called ‘The Beach Boys’, it was a nice feel good song the guitarist just felt amazing hearing. The old song’s lyrics remind her how good her second chance at life really was, “And wouldn't it be nice to live together,In the kind of world where we belong?”, it was perfect.

Her hands gracefully floated over the strings, eyes locked on the chords displayed on her computer screen. It felt like the world had stopped moving for a moment, like everything was calm. Well that feeling didn’t last that long. Maggie’s hands suddenly gripped the neck of the instamet as a large crash came from down stairs, ‘oh no what is it this time’. The musician laid her guitar down on her bed right as a slew of very creative and colorful curses came from what she could only presume was Bessie. With a quick trot down the stairs she was soon to find a very peeved bassist, a started pianist, a confused drummer. She made haste to the living room where they were standing to also find one very apologetic tudor queen and one rambunctious gremlin on the floor, oh and a slightly broken window.

“Gosh Bess I’m so sorry about her, we just got back from pret and i let her buy a large chocolate frappe, i'll pay for the new window..”, the blue clad queen said with a sorry smile. Maria spoke up with a curious tone, “Wait why are you guys here anyway? Atleast give a reason Miss Kermit the Hulk over here came crashing through our window?”, the green eyed woman finally stood up from her place on the floor and shuffled shyly. “Well Cathy wanted to come over and get some piano lessons from Joan and I tagged along to hopefully get some time with my favorite ferret!”, Maggie gave an amused chuckle and stepped forward. “Well okay you sugared up raccoon, what did you wanna do?”, Anne made her way to the couch and plopped down, “Well before we do anything, you need to go change into some shorts and a tank top oh and put your hair up. Cathy then grabbed one of the two drawstring bags she had been holding and handed it to Anne, who was already in some black running shorts and a neon green muscle tank. “Well me and Joan are gonna go hit the keys, you two have fun with whatever trouble Anne will get you both in”, and with that the two shorter girls made their way across the room and began to talk quietly.

The band member made her way back up to her room and began to pick out an outfit. ‘ Huh, I wonder why Anne is having me wear sports gear..the only kind of sport she watches is hockey and that's because she thinks it's funny to see them beat the shit out of each other’. She opened her closet and picked out some white athletic shorts(with pockets because all pants need them in her opinion), and a pastel cyan dri fit shirt with a black double note on the front. Lastly, she ties her hair back in her normal high ponytail she wears for shows.

Finally they were ready and made their way out of the house and onto the London streets. Anne still had her green bag, without giving a single hint to what could be inside. They made their way down into the nearest tube station on the Piccadilly Line. Maggie could now slightly narrow down the places they could be heading,but just a little. They stayed on the hot tube for a good few minutes before the hyper woman pulled her off and gave her a little time to look at where they had gotten off, Hyde Park Corner. This had just gotten even more puzzling as they made their way up to the surface. They were so close to leaving the station, till they had to scan their oyster cards. Anne had gotten through the gate easily with a quick swipe of her card. Maggie walked forward and scanned her card, but as she was walking through she felt a pressure on her waist. The Confused woman looked down to find out.. The gate had closed on her and she was stuck in between the two sides of the machine. “...Well shit… that's a problem”, the two rudor women laughed and Anne waved down a worker to let her friend out of her plastic-mechanical prison.

They finally made it out of the station, at least they already had a funny story to tell the others. They ambled their way down the stone sidewalk, smiling and laughing like school kids. “So I tell Joey about the whole pasta-wall test and she actually does it! Wait it gets better, she grabs a handful of angel hair spaghetti and chucks it at the kitchen wall! In front of Maria and Bessie! Let’s just say she wasn't allowed to be near any kind of noodle for a while”, Anne bursts out in laughter even stronger than back at the station, wiping tears from her eyes. Suddenly the green queen stopped and grabbed her friend’s hand and pulled her over to the other side of the road. “Tadah! We are gonna hang out here and try something new!”,the enthusiastic woman points to the stone arch like structure above them. “Hyde Park? What could we possibly learn here?”, Anne gives no answer as she continues to drag the poor musician into the park and off to a flat clearing.

The Boleyn girl stops right in the middle of the small grassy area and finally pulls out what has been hiding in her bag, a basic football and a small bluetooth speaker. “I thought it would be fun if we learned how to play Football! It seems easy enough and it would be fun bonding for us!”, she put the speaker down next to her bag and put the ball at her feet. Maggie was beyond confused, neither woman had ever tried sports, she knows Cleves runs and does boxing with Kathrine but that's about it. The guitarist gave a nod to the woman in front of her, she was about three meters away. Anne pulls her foot back like a bow and slams the front of her foot into the ball and sends it flying towards the other burnette. The ball hits Maggie’s right shin, she stumbles back and trips over the object at her feet and falls on her backside. “Ow shit!”, both women say loudly, Anne holding her foot and Maggie on the ground clutching her shin.

“Okay so bad idea, maybe we should..I dunno, learn how to play the damn game before we start kicking shit?”, the tudor queen gave a shy nod as she walked over and helped the injured girl to her feet. Maggie pulls out her phone from the pocket of her shorts and goes to her trusty friend, Google. “Okay Mags we should start with how to kick the damned thing without breaking all of your toes”, the guitarist gave a small chuckle and searched what Anne had suggested. After about thirty seconds of looking she finds a short Youtube video titled, ‘How to properly kick a soccer ball’, huh made by an American i guess. She clicked the video and turned her phone so both inept reincarnates could watch. The woman in the video showed her foot parallel to the ball, lightly kicking it with the inner side of her foot, unlike Anne who ‘toed’ the ball from what the woman said. The demonstrator showed how to open your hips wide to pass forward and how to angle your foot to make sure the ball goes in the right direction. After the tutorial ended Maggie turned her phone off and returned it to her pocket. “Okay Anne go back to your spot with the demon-sphere so we can try this again”.

So it was take two and they widened their stances slightly like the player in the video did, “Okay Mags remember to stop it with the side like she said so i don't break your foot! God the other Ladies would kill me..”. Anne got ready and tilted her foot outwards slightly and pulled back, she hit the ball correctly, well sort of. She used the right part of her foot but hit the very bottom of the ball and it flew upwards and towards the poor ferret-like woman in front of her, hitting her square in the face. Maggie stepped back and made a low grunt noise and held her face. “Christ Annie what did you do wrong this time? You did exactly what she said and it was still fucked up!”,Anne gave a confused look with a tilt of her head, “I dunno ‘M, maybe it was wind?”. Both gave a frustrated sigh as they sat down on a nearby bench and started to think. Before they could conjure up a coherent thought, Maggie spotted 3 teenage looking girls with matching gold and red sports uniforms with low and behold, a football. The younger girl shot up from the bench and gave her queen a confident smirk, “Anne i think i have a good but also maybe terrible idea”, she sped up to the girls and stopped them in their tracks.

“Hey sorry to bother you girls but erm… you play Football right..?”, the three girls looked at each other confusingly, “Um”, the tall brunette girl starts, “Yea we are on our school’s team..why?”. Anne catches up to Maggie right as the conversation continues, “Well I’m Maggie and my friend Anne and I want to learn how to play but we are kinda…”, Maggie trails off for Anne to finish, “Bad at it, like really bad”. The tanner girl with gloves on stepped forward with an amused look, “Well okay then, we were just about to go for a short practice so we could totally help you out!”, she put her gloved hand out for Maggie to shake, “I’m Samina, I’m the team’s goalie and these are two out of three of my defenders, Piper”, she points to the girl from brefor who gave a small wave, “And brooke”, a shorter brunette looked up and gave a small nod. “So I see you're already kinda set up here so let's get to it!”, the goalie led her girls over and gave the older pair an encouraging smile, “Show us whatcha got ladies!”. All five of the girls got in a wide spread circle with Anne’s ball at her feet. “Okay so first things first, do you know how to kick it without hurting yourself or sending it to the moon?”, Anne looked over and answered for Maggie, “Kinda, we can do it without harming our precious feet buuut it went flying and ‘bout gave Mags a broken sniffer..”. The shortest girl gave a small nod and gazed over at the pair, “Well then you hit the bottom of the ball, next time hit the middle or top, but i say middle because you might trip if you hit the top”, she said in a monotone voice. Anne decides to give it a go and turns to face Maggie, giving her a look that says, ‘be prepared because this might end horribly’. Giving her queen a quick nod she gets ready to receive the weapon of death, aka the ball. Anne pulls back and hits the ball just like she was told and it zooms towards Maggie on the ground and the brown eyed woman manages to catch it with somewhat ease. “Nice job Bo!”, she says as she rushes to give her green clad friend a high-five who gladly returns. “Now”, Piper starts, “time to learn how to dribble with the ball!”. Both girls groan in response.

After about an hour and a half of learning the simple methods of the sport the girls had to leave so it just left Maggie and Anne to figure it all out from there. Maggie spots an opportunity to turn up the fun and jogs over to Anne’s speaker and connects her phone. An upbeat guitar melody begins to play and just a few seconds later words start to emit from the speaker, “Wouldn't it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn't have to wait so long?”. The musician gives a bright smile as the cheerful song plays, she now could really understand how grateful she really was for this new life. She sauntered over to the smiling Boleyn girl and they began to pass the ball around and laugh. They practiced thier passess and dribbleing, even tripping a good few times which made their smiles even brighter as they became covered in dirt,grass, and small bruises.

“Annie! Heads up!”, the ball flew past the queen’s head and into a tree behind her, getting stuck up in some branches. “Shit sorry, i'll go up and get it dont worry!”, Anne gave a worried glance, “Are you sure Maggie? We could just throw stuff at it to knock it down..”, Maggie had already started scaling the tree. It was anything but graceful, she looked like a blind cat with a missing tail,left leg, and whiskers, she couldn't balance at all. After making her way up about 5 or so branches she finally got to their beloved horri-ball. She grabbed it with her left hand, leaving her right, non-dominant hand, to be the one holding onto the flimsy branch above her, it was a recipe for disaster. “Hey Anne, I got the bAL-”, where her last words before the branch gave way and she went tumbling to the ground. Luckily or not so luckily, her dearest queen was there to break her fall. “I told you so”, is all Anne could croak out from under Maggie before she pushed her off. After that fiasco they moved a tad bit farther from the trees so they didn’t have to go home in full body casts.

After a few more hours it was starting to get dark and they thought it best for them to head back to their respective homes. They parted ways and started the trek back to their humble abodes. “See you later Mag! I'll text you later!”, and with that Anne was gone, Maggie has always wondered how she just vanishes right when you take her eyes off her. After a very cautious tube station trip and ride, she was finally home. The guitarist, happy to be home and rest, opens the door, ready to have some quiet time. Her dreams are slightly crushed as she sees a small brown blur scurry across the hall with a very distressed Maria rushing after it. The drummer stops in her tracks to make eye contact with her bandmate, “Bessie,Cathy, and Joey went out for dinner, don't say a word about this Margret”, today just got even more exhausting.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay well that was an absolute acid trip-

i hope yall enjoy some cute bonding shit becuase the last one was so edgy n shit, and before any of you ask, yes the three girls on my team who are all really amazing players and friends and i love them so so much-

the next one will probably be with Maria and Lina and them dealing with Maria’s.... new little predicament haha

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alluringoneirataxia · 4 years

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Long Winding Road Stay Strapped My Dude

By: Astoria Cathryn Andromeda

Alrighty, this is a long one boys. So I touched briefly on this in my Welcome to Literally Everything post. No worries I'll recap you, so you don't have to switch back and forth. I just diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, and then ADHD when I was 18 years old, and even then I had to fight for it after countless hours of research. See, there seems to be a wee bit of misogyny in the neurodiverse diagnoses. When I say a wee bit, I mean that scientists used to think that only boy could be autistic or ADHD. They only studied autism in males. Fortunately, nowadays we know that girls can be autistic and/or ADHD, but we present the traits differently than boys, and a lot of our traits are played off due to gender roles in society. For example, being overly talkative in girls is called chatty, whereas boys who can't sit still are sent off for testing immediately. This also causes problems for the boys, because little Johnny gets put on Adderall at the ripe age of 6 years old, just because he can't sit still for 8 hours straight, which by the way should not be expected of any elementary school kid, By the time, he's 25 he's 1) completely dependent on amphetamines 2) his body will stop producing dopamine due to being on the medication for so long. Nicht Gut. Generally, boys who are on the spectrum get picked out earlier due to late speaking, or lack of social skills. This is the one thing that girls happen to do better than boys. Girls are good at masking, which is basically taking social traits, phrases, personalities, demeanor, and copying them. In public, they put on a mask and at home, they have a meltdown. Girls are still not picked up as being on the spectrum, because shyness is called being 'ladylike' and 'dainty', and having a meltdown is just because :( girls are oh-so emotional, boohoo. Anyways tons of women do not get diagnosed with autism until they are well into their adulthood, I actually can be considered lucky to have technically still been a teenager when we finally got all the pieces together.

Alright, let's start with I don't know me as a baby. I did not speak until I was 2 years old, and then it was immediately full sentences from then on. I didn't do the babbling thing, which I don't know how impactful that really is to the topic. I was a very shy little girl. I was teeny tiny, we didn't know I if I was going to make it to 5 feet tall until I had a big growth spurt in 7th grade. I am 5'2 now and definitely done growing in case you were wondering, so not that short anymore. I did not like talking to adults, especially strangers, especially men. I did not look anyone in the face, and I will always hide behind my parent's legs when they would try to introduce me to people. I am an only child, and I spent a lot of time entertaining myself. I always had seasonal affective disorder, where my grades would dip in the winter. My parents knew I had a timer, they had 45 minutes from the moment they stepped into a restaurant before I would start breaking down. If I got off schedule as a toddler in any form, it was a catastrophe. Or this is what my parents and family tell me. I didn't really notice. I did not like being out in public a lot, I was a very picky eater, and I was extremely hyper. I was a very eccentric child, I only had 1-2 close friends and they were always a very well-liked outgoing girl who I just followed around. Looking back, I don't know how we missed it. I was shy because I didn't understand how social interactions worked, I was anxious about it because I didn't understand, I had sensory overloads, routines, and a very bland diet with a safe food which was ketchup. I put that shit on literally everything, eas, apples, mac and cheese, pizza, all meat, anything something forced me to eat that I did not like. But because I could sit still in class, and because I could zone out and daydream all day through school and still make A's nobody ever flagged me for anything and how I was supposed to know that not everybody just copied other people, scripted things before they talked, and could never pay attention. My mom always required me to be in a sport, and I was a gymnast and a swimmer for a long time, two very high-intensity sports, to help lower my energy levels, and because my mom has mild depression and she knows that exercise does help. Skip to middle school, my mom tells me I'm being bullied at church. It's not that I wasn't observing my surroundings I knew I was being excluded, but I didn't understand vindictive behavior, I thought it was my fault. I had zero friends in 8th grade until I sat down next to a random acqutaince I had gone to school with since I was 4 and the same gymnastics place. Then we were immediately attached at the hip after that. She is my best friend due this day and definitely got me through high school. Led me through so many social situations without either of us knowing. I had a very close friendgroup in highschool, all of them were on the drumline which I met through my best friend, and my first boyfriend was my best friend's neighbor. I ended up playing bass guitar for my high school's indoor drumline, and it was the best experience ever. I love my friends, but I had really bad depression when I was 15-now:) jk It's better. I didn't really realize I was depressed, I just didn't want to go to school, or swim practice, or do anything so of course, my mom noticed, and then once it was pointed out to me it got worse. My severe anxiety spiraled with my depression. Senior year of high school, my boyfriend and I were like toxic star crossed lovers, hurting each other over and over again without meaning to. My friends and I were self harming, all my close friends gad some demon going on. I finally decided to try therapy again after the disaster of being forced to go when I was 15 and the lady told me I wasn't depressed because I had a boyfriend and good grades. It helped a bit, I was able to get my panic attacks under control. Then I went away to college and stayed dating my senior high school boyfriend, we were just up and down as always, but with slightly better communication. My freshman year of college I joined a fraternity, a research lab, and my first hs boyfriend/ex/best friend and I went to a Christian campus place. By second semester, I had a lot of people who knew me and talked to me, but I didn't have any close friends, and even less close friends who were girls. All my close friends who were girls were at another college. My parents were worried about me, so they made me rush a sorority, which I knew was never my scene, but my parents made me join and I found a few girls I liked. Soon I was going to 6 classes, fraternity chapter, research lab meetings, christain crash group meetings, soriorty pledge meetings all on every Tuesday. I was different person at each of these events and wore a different mask. I was having what I know now were autistic burnout meltdowns every single day on the phone in my crusty dorm's stairwell. It was not cute. His mental health had always been bad too. Finally I decide I need to try a psychatrist and go back to therapy, and then he broke up with me. Then I made my first close friend, a guy who was in 3 of classes, and I took him to my fraternity's formal, and then coronavirus happened. Rona kinda saved my grades, and mental health by sending us home event though it did suck. I got on anti-anxiety meds and things went up, but I was still having what I thought were panic attacks, they were austistic meltdowns. My psychiatrist, he's kinda an asshole, he diagnosed me with Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. I'll insert definition here: (OCPD) is a personality disorder that's characterized by extreme perfectionism, order, and neatness. People with OCPD will also feel a severe need to impose their own standards on their outside environment.> Basically hr told me I had rules for everything like how everyone drives on the right side of the road, but nobodythinks about it andwhen I broke one of my rules I got depressed, and when wasn't perfect I got depressed, and when I made an A I was relieved not proud. The diagnosis seemed to fit really well, and my therapist and I started working finding my rules, and getting rid of the bad ones, and making the others less harsh. I had thought every once and in a while in my life when I was really upset, what if I'm on the spectrum, because I just felt so hopeless for social interactions and I didn't understand. I always felt like I was a very specific person, but after the ocpd I started thinking more and more, and I saw a tik tok of a girl with lae diagnosed autism basically describing me and ranting about the misogyny. I did more research and I decide, yea I'mm gonna bring it up to mypsychatrist well he's a dick, so he was like um you don't act like sheldon cooper from the Big Bang theory,and I was like wellI just I have always thought I might have adhd like be neureodiverse, and he was like your grade point average in hs was a 97.8%, you're not adhd. I immediately cried, because I can't handle when anyone says anything in a even a slightest stringent tone. I'm baby, I know lmao. It made me angry though because I felt like he just brushed away all of my struggles I had in my whole life. I spent hours researching and typed up a 47 page document on evidence for why I was on the spectrum, and had my parents help will some of checklists to make sure I was getting outside perspectives. I rally my parents to be my back up and next psychiatrist appointment we actually talk about it and he asked my parents questions about when I was young and such and finally he was okay you're on the spectrum. I felt so validated and like I could start being myself. I slowly got more and more confident, changed my style of clothing, and researched more about adhd pushed to be tested, and oh look at that I also have ADHD. So basically discourse: "I feel like as a child I coded a machine to do life for me so I didn’t get bothered except I didn’t know about the machine I thought i was the machine and now I’ve become self aware and I have to learn how to read the code and rewrite the code because it’s dysfunctional because I’m not functioning well as a human being. I was really shy as a child. I would turn beat red when people talked to me or looked at me so I think I started cookie cutting situations and using them over and over again because they worked until I accidentally hard wired these expansion rules and expectations for myself. I didn’t may attention is class ever I just day dreamed and if I got good grades i wouldn’t be bothered i could just stay in my head and if I did my sport well my parents didn’t bother me. I was never asked if I did my homework I just did it so I wouldn’t be asked and have to deal with that situation. I would cookie cutter situations in class that would draw the least attention to myself.

I feel like i don’t have friends I just fulfill the expectation like a side quest on video games" I wrote this down pre autism confirmation when i just thought I had ocpd. Now I don't directly identify with ocpd, but I definitely think I developed that personality disorder a bit from living with undiagnosed autism. I am linking below the very informative Tik Toks by the lovely Paige on autism in girls. The imposter syndrome one really hit home. I had had so many panic attacks about thinking I tricked people into being my friend, or thinking I was smart.

I highly suggest watching these short tik toks, you'll definitely learn something

https://vm.tiktok.com/wVvcYA/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wqRRUf/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wnqhvX/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wqeyYg/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wnoE7u/

https://vm.tiktok.com/Kas6gB/

https://vm.tiktok.com/owM9hs/

Imposter syndrome

I am also linking an article about Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory and Autism that explains why my psychiatrist was wrong, and also I am a girl and the spectrum is called a spectrum because it's a fucking spectrum no two autistic people are exactly the same it's like a color wheel.

http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/problem-sheldon-cooper-and-cute-autism-387783

Here is a fun comic about the spectrum and how to view it.

https://the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

I am still learning about myself, and how to be me, and how to be myself but without breaking bad social rules. It's quite humorous though because I'll learn something is related to autism and I'm like oh shit again, like still, like, we're still discovering things.

"Tu ne me manques pas"

Bis später,

Astoria.

#asd #autisminwomen #autism #actuallyautistic #aspie #aspie memes

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mydearsaddiary · 4 years

Text

Speakeasy Tonight Neil Season 3 Fanfic

Neil Season 3- Chapter 3

Hello! For those of you who don’t know Im writing a fanfic on how I’d imagine Neil Season 3 to go! This is chapter 3, here’s a link with all the chapters: https://mydearsaddiary.tumblr.com/NeilSeason3Fanfic

Little Curiosity notes: Because this chapter is all about the high society of BAHS-ton, there’s some currency involved! I put the amount in 1926 dollars, in parenthesis I adjusted it according to inflation on how much it’s cost today!

WARNING: LOTS OF ANGST AND DRAMA. LIKE SO MUCH DRAMA.

Chapter 3- Ghosts Are Alive in a Haunted Night

1926

The way to Boston was long. The anticipation built was driving me over the edge. I’ve been around the upper crust of Chicago, but even so most of them seemed like new money. Extravagant women who just got their hands on dough and bought everything they could. The upper crusts I met in Chicago weren’t elegant, they just had money in their hands. Even so I felt like an imposter amongst them.

I had a perception Neil’s family would be different. They were the true high society. Money was in their roots and they’ve never lived without it. For generations and generations I imagined most of them never worked, but increased their riches by letting others do the work for them.

I noticed when Lucille wrote to Neil, she always signed “Lucille Dresner of Boston”. Only the wealthy referred to themselves with their hometown attached to their name like “The Dresners of Boston”. They measured each other by how prominent of a family they were. For the first time I didn’t think of Neil as just Neil. I imagined him as “Cornelius Dresner of Boston” or “Cornelius of the house Dresner from Boston” or some fancy Jane Austen society title I could never imagine myself belonging to.

I knew Neil was living in an apartment in Chicago, living the same economic life as I did right now by choice, but that didn’t change where he was from or who his family was. For the first time I also realized that you could notice the high class in Neil in his personality.

There was just something in him that distanced him from people like Cliff or Vince who’d come from nothing or even me, who came from some but not as much. I thought of the elegancy, the way he never let himself look like a fool, the fact that he was highly educated, enjoyed chess like no other, the fact that it was easy to look at him and respect him. He had the air of being classier than most. He had his troubles and he wasn’t some snob who thinks he is better than everyone, but something in me said I needed to step up to the gentry, who breathed old money and who would judge me as middle class.

I looked down at the dress I chose for the trip. It was a delicate red. I always thought it was a good color on me, but it wasn’t the best dress (or the best shoes) I could be wearing

I looked at Neil who looked so calm he could have no idea of the internal battle that was happening in my mind. However, I felt guilty for struggling so much. Neil hadn’t seen his family in years, they’d probably be talking and paying so much attention to him that they wouldn’t even have time to look at what I was wearing

Nevertheless when we stepped out of the train in Boston I felt trapped. When I first got to Chicago, it seemed like the city was bursting, it was like my world had expanded and there was no seeing its end. In Boston I got a different feeling. The elegancy, tall buildings and the cold air engulfed you in its atmosphere and urged you to climb the social ladder. It seemed to tell you if you didn’t, you were bound to fail

-Hey…-It was the first time I said something in at least half an hour- I’ve been dying to see the fashion stores in Boston. Whaddya say you take me to see one, just to look around the city for a bit before we go?-I held his arm firmly

-Is the calm and steady Miss Granger nervous to meet my parents?- He got back at me from what I said in Columbus

-Alright, alright, this point goes to you!- I giggled nervously more than playful- I am, alright. Nothing calms my nerves better than shopping for a new outfit

-There’s a store nearby Lucille loved when she was younger. Can’t make any promises it’s still open.

-Doesn’t hurt to try!-I followed him around

It took a little while for Neil to remember the exact spot of the store and kept saying “It’s somewhere along this street”. While I followed him I looked around with interest. The city was full of cars and people. Constructions happened all around and every building was glued to the next one. Two words to describe it were: Completely packed. It seemed like the whole New England lived there. People were moved fast like all of them were in a hurry and it contrasted Columbus in a way it did make me feel like I came from the middle of nowhere. Among the cars there was a policemen on horseback flying by, it struck me as one more thing engulfed by the modernization and craziness that I found myself in. Chicago’s population surpassed Boston’s by a lot, but it was funny how I felt lost in that new city in front of me. Maybe I’d gotten used to Chicago so it didn’t seem that big anymore

And I thought I was ready for Boston

-Was Boston always this full?- I walked holding him tightly, afraid I could lose him in the crowd.

-Full of buildings and people? Yeah, it always was. Although before the war there used to be less cars, floor-length dresses and high hats- He pulled me in into a building, inside it was revealed a store as huge as Menken’s- Here it is, still open

The store was cream-colored with eccentric chandeliers around. I could see at least two floors. I never managed to bring Neil shopping with me before, so I might as well enjoy it.

I took a look around at different dresses. Something had gotten to me though. Look at the price of those dresses! I could buy at least ten dresses at Menken’s for the price of some of these!

If it was Lucille’s favorite store, at least before, then of course everything would be expensive. I swear I found a dress that was $300 (~$4300)! You could buy a new car nowadays with that kind of money. However, my expression remained calm. I looked at Neil sometimes but he didn’t even mention anything about the prices. I felt myself in the obligation to act like it was all normal to me

I remembered some conversations me and Neil had in the past: “Act like you’re entitled to the world”, “You positively grow with middle-class respectability”, “You’re not gonna wear sables and diamonds and be rude to the help, are you?”, “They’ll know you’re not one of them. But you’ll never notice when they’re looking down on you, that’s how people in high society treat people like you and Charlie”. I sighed in despair

-What is it? Nothing matches your photoplay dream?-He said sarcastically behind me and I noticed I had been staring at a dress for too long, lost in my own anxiety- I thought you said shopping lifted your spirits.

-Oh, nothing!-I looked at him- I was just thinking about the Ice Box that’s all, I was worried that-

-MC, I know you’re deeply infatuated with your illegal activities, but there’s nothing you can do from Boston

-I know- I let it go, it was just an excuse anyway. I was excited about the vacation and I couldn’t let the whole pressure just make me crumble. I had to prove to Neil that I was able to deal with whatever life threw my way. We were going to work this out together

-Say, why don’t you keep shopping? I’ll wait outside, all this glitter is hurting my eyes

-Alright, yea, I shouldn’t take long- I gave him a quick peck before he went out, I could see him grabbing a cigarette before turning my attention to the dresses

Alright, MC, you need to choose something classy enough but that won’t burn your pockets. Now, where do I find something that’s doesn’t cost more than $15 (~200)? I could spare that, it’s a special occasion.

Wishing I could have some gin in me right this second I went through the embarrassment of asking if they had anything around the price range I wanted. My luck was that there was a dress that was worth $100 (~1450) that was about to be thrown away because the zipper was broken. When I looked at the dress I didn’t understand why they’d throw it in the can.

It was beautiful. It was this pale pink color with a V-neck. The sleeved has the same gold details as the dress, but otherwise it was transparent. The details on the pale pink went down in waves until right below the knees. I smiled at it, it was perfect for the event of meeting Neil’s parents, and I’ve never worn anything like that.

I asked her if I could have it and she shrugged in a manner like she didn’t understand why I was even there. I couldn’t blame her, I didn’t know either. I got the dress for $20 (~280), it was more than I could at the moment, but I was just happy to have found something I could afford and still look ritzy in

Due to the extra money spent I couldn’t really go looking for shoes or accessories, but I wasn’t worried. What I had would work for this.

-Alright!- I caught Neil outside- I’m ready, first impressions are everything! Now I just need somewhere to put this stuff on!

Yes… Like the back of a rental car in a dark alley…

-It’s so convenient nowadays, you know, they started renting cars and everything right- I said huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf in the back seat getting my dress off and the new one on- So you can change in the middle of the road too

-I thought this way we could go places without having to use one of my family’s cars- Neil waited in the driver’s seat

-What’s wrong with your family’s cars, huh? Not ritzy enough for ya?-I put on the dress to realize it didn’t close in the back. Shoot! I forgot to ask what happened to the zipper. Think, think, think!

-It’s the contrary- Neil responded- If I remember well from back then, I always felt like I was in a circus truck, doubt they changed the way they do things- He seemed to hear me struggling- Do you need help back there?

-No! Nope! I am just fine- I said putting a pin on the zipper so this way it wasn’t broken anymore. It closed all the way up! The only thing was the pin showing a little bit on the top, which looked a little tacky, but with all the details in the dress it could be overlooked

-Let’s hurry then, I told them we should be there for lunch. With your little shopping going on, we’re late

-Sorry!- I put on my rhinestone tiara and went through my bag to find my golden pair of heels that matched the details on the dress, then I hurried up to the front seat- I’m ready, let’s scram!

Neil started to drive, I could feel him a little tense as he drove. I put on my hand on his leg squeezing it- Are you excited?

-When I left Boston I was twenty-four. I haven’t been back since

-Neil- I calmed my voice- They’ll be happy to see you, they’ll be thrilled. Especially Lucille, I really can’t wait to meet her. How old is she?

-We’re about ten years apart, she’s the youngest. So she should be about twenty-two right now. Damn…-He went quiet for a few seconds- When I left she was fourteen, now she’s a woman, married and is about to have a baby.

-Oh, little Cornelia- I smiled thinking about it

-Don’t remind me, I still feel for the kid

-Can it, Neil! It’s sweet. I can’t imagine how she must have felt when she got a letter in the mail from you

-I can’t believe I let you convince me to go through with this-He shook his head

-Hey, pal, I didn’t say anything! You wrote the letter to her yourself

Neil smiled, as if there was something in his thoughts he didn’t want to say out loud- I know.

We pulled up to a narrow street full of four stories apartments- I didn’t know they lived in a flat- I said, a little confused. I expected it-

-They’re not flats-Neil responded- They’re houses

My eyes widened looking again at the row of houses with my new perspective. It was pure Boston Brahmin. The houses were glued to one another, only separated by color, each of them were massive once I understood the four stories were for each family. Rows of fancy cars were parked in front of each designated house and U.S. flags stood in front of each one.

Neil parked in front of an elegant brick house, it was full of organized windows and one big wooden door stood right in the middle of the ground floor.

-Is this where you grew up?- I opened the car door on my side

-No, this is just the city house. I’d spend a lot of time here, but usually we’d be down by the estate

-Estate?- I turned to him, wondering if my ears heard right- Your family owns a estate?

-About 15 miles out of the city- He said like it was the most normal thing in the world.

I focused on my breathing not to let myself get too nervous. “Act like I’m entitled to the world” is what I kept playing in my head. I went around to meet Neil and then I noticed his look was distant

-Neil?-I shook him a little bit and he looked down at me, his face was not upset, but the usual mask wasn’t there either- What’s the matter?

He hesitated a little bit. Being back here must be hard. It’s still not easy for him to open up, so I appreciate it even more when he does- That house right there- he pointed. I looked back at the white magnificence across the road, just as beautiful as the one that belonged to Neil’s family. It had a black door instead of a wooden-colored one. No cars were in front of it, so it looked solemn, distant and different from the rest- It’s the Hasting house.

I looked back at him squeezing his hand- Alton…

-Yeah… Alton- He replied

I didn’t know what to say, I never knew what to say when Neil mentioned his past. But he said all he needed me to do was listen. I gave him a kiss on his cheek, hoping to comfort him. I was glad to see it got a smile out of him- Ready?

He breathed profoundly, turning his head back to the wooden door- Yes, I’m ready- He knocked on the door

----

It creaked as it opened, it was like seconds got transformed into hours. Once it was open a servant smiled. Some kind of butler? Gee, this is something else. However that only added to the moment. He positioned himself by the door, looking into an area in front of him I could only imagine it was the living room. He stuffed his chest like it was the most important thing he was going to say in his life to the ones who waited

-Cornelius Dresner is home

I nodded to Neil, letting him walk in first. He took his hat off as he walked, each step seemed to hold anticipation in them. I walked in right after, but staying away from him. I understood this was a precious moment, so my eyes turned to watch instead.

The silence was so expansive you could hear if cotton balls fell on the ground. When Neil stood there, a second set of steps started. My eyes turned to a very visibly pregnant woman, who could be due anytime soon. She had bright icy blue eyes, her blonde bob fell elegantly on her face. She had the posture of a porcelain doll and her face resembled Neil’s.

She stopped right in front of him looking up at his face, like she was examining every detail, her serious face was beautiful in that light. I assumed that was Lucille, the one who never gave up on him. They now held this very serious starting contest, I almost thought no one was going to say anything

-You got old- Her melodic voice let out and Neil burst into laughter at the same time she did. He hugged her carefully but tightly

-And you grew big, in more ways than one- He joked with her but then turned serious- Lucille, I’m sorry…

-Oh, forget that! You’re here now…

Others walked up to them, I counted them in my head and assumed mother, father, Maude and Warren. I let them have their moment. It was so intimate I stepped back not wanting to hear much. It was like Neil had gone off to a war, survived and now was home once more. In a way, that’s what had happened. Neil had won, or at least started to win, his internal battles and now he had made it back there. I smiled watching the scene. He didn’t reserve any smiles and his family seemed to be everything but mad at him. They relented.

I couldn’t help but think how proud I was of him

A few minutes passed, they started pulling him to the living room to “sit, relax and update them on everything that’s been going on”, then he looked at me and stopped them in their tracks

-Wait- He walked over to me and then looked at them. This was the first time they noticed I was there. I didn’t blame them, Neil had all their attention- This is Mary

The older woman, I’m assuming Neil’s mother walked over and I felt the chills down my spine. She had cold eyes but a warm face. You could watch her and feel that she was judging you and it made you wonder if she considered you worthy of her time. She was the image of classiness, the peak of the upper class. She was one of those wealthy people you see walking by and wonder how they must live. She walked like she had books piled up on top of her head. More charm than Vera Peters, that was for sure, but I felt bad that her aura reminded me of the former mayor’s wife. After all, I wanted to attribute her to someone nice

-Of course- She smiled- Miss Granger, right?

-That’s me! - I smiled- It’s a pleasure to meet you ma’am- I was going to say something about how beautiful her house are and introduce myself to the others, but she turned her eyes somewhere else

-Please collect their bags, you can put Neil’s in his room-She said to the servant- And Miss Granger’s bags can take to the spare room downstairs

-Mother- Neil interrupted her- I’d like Mary to stay in the guest room upstairs- He said in an imposing a tone. If there was a guest room upstairs, I got a weird feeling about her asking for me to sleep downstairs in what I could safely assume was an underground floor.

-Fine, yes. Take hers to one of the guest rooms- She said and the servant started moving according to orders

When I turned around, Lucille was walking up to me and Neil. She in turn had kinder eyes, and I could see them a little wet. The pregnancy probably added to the emotion of her beloved brother coming home

-Miss Granger, it’s a pleasure to meet you. My brother spoke highly of you in his letter- I didn’t know whether to pay attention to her eyes or the diamonds she wore

-He must have flattered me too much- I said shyly. She wasn’t much older than me, but she spoke clearly and no slangs were in sight

-I only speak the truth- He said behind me

-I’m sure- she replied- I understand it’s you I must thank for having him write me

-I may have pushed him a little bit- I squeezed his hand- But he made the decision on his own

Neil introduced me to rest of his family. His father seemed a tad quiet just like him, his other younger siblings greeted me well, and he reintroduced me to his mother who was next to talk again

-It’s so nice of you to wear something so simple to come see us. I did hope you felt at home- She mentioned I could feel my face getting hot- Why don’t we all sit down, there’s much to talk about!

I was more nervous now than when I first walked, but I didn’t want to let on everything was getting to me.

The living room was mainly white, so white it was like staring at snow in the sun. The couches were the most comfortable seat I had ever felt. In this place where comfort was displayed all around, I felt all the eyes and social pressure of high society that made me feel like it was the most uncomfortable place in the world. What calmed me was Neil sitting next to me and his hand on my waist.

-How’s life in Chicago?- Lucille asked- I tried asking Drummond when you wouldn’t reply but he always told me you weren’t working for him anymore

-Yes, I only worked with him for a few years- He continued, and I was sure he was going to give them the clean version of the story- Turns out we didn’t get along so well. I moved to this neighborhood where I met this man called Charles Granger. He in very involved with the city’s anti-saloon league and involved in the politics and he takes care of the neighborhood he lives in, it turns out they were in need of a doctor. So he offered me a job and I accepted, worked with him ever since. He helped me get settled, I do owe him a lot

-Well, we’ll be sure to send Mr. Granger our regards for taking care of you- His mom gave a forced smile. I’m sure she had questions but it was noticeable she was trying to be on Neil’s good side, afraid he might escape again

-So my life was settled there. A few years later he announced to me and his associates that his niece was coming from Ohio to live with him. She helps him out at work and that’s how we met, through Charlie

-And now you’re seeing each other- His mother continued

He smiled softly- MC and I are engaged, mother. I mentioned in the letters

-Oh yes, Lucille told us the news- Her tone seemed like… Disappointment? No, I’m just reading too much into it

I had to do something to break the ice- We were planning for it to happen in late April, early May, wait until the cold passes by

-Yes, it’s smart to wait a while-She smiled at me- A lot can happen in those months, things might end up different

I held my breath, I couldn’t pretend to be dumb to myself. She was definitely unhappy with Neil’s choice. For the first time I felt a sting in my chest. It wasn’t embarrassment or anxiety. It was… Insecurity. I usually never lacked confidence and I was sure that I could take everything and anyone. However, being on the receiving side of the looks from Neil’s mother made me feel like a pin in a haystack. Tiny and lost.

-We weren’t planning on waiting too long- Neil said. Even he acted different around his family, but his tone was firmer. I knew it was him sticking up for me in the ritziest way there was. So I appreciated in silence.

-I hope you don’t mind that we organized a ball for your return- She said excited, changing the subject- We invited the Hastings, the neighbors, just close people to spend the night with us

-Oh mother, you know I always loved the balls you gave- He said in a sarcastic tone but she ignored it, Lucille did giggle though

-Get up and get ready-She said- Do you need me to send the valet upstairs?

-No! No... I can manage myself- He said walking towards the stairs and taking me with him

She then spoke to me before we left- Oh dear, you’ll want to wear something a little bit more elegant for tonight

Once we were in the second floor I couldn’t help but look around. There was a piano room and then a corridor of doors, I assumed they were bedrooms. It seemed kind of oddly placed, surely nobody would like to sleep while the piano is being played right outside their doors. However, everything inside was so white the black piano was a welcoming contrast.

-So… I’m guessing balls are a normal thing in the upper class

-It’s traditional, not my thing if you ask me- He lowered his voice to say the last part

-I’d imagine not

I didn’t have much time to admire the guest room, even though I did notice that its grandiosity made it hard to imagine that it was a room that didn’t belong to anyone. I sat on the bed stressed, wondering how I was going to find something in my bag that would fit the expectations of Momma Dresner. The fanciest dress I could find didn’t impress her, and now I had to step up my game for an official “welcome home Neil” ball

In the middle of my mind’s perturbations, a knock on the door got my attention. When I opened the door, Lucille was standing there smiling

-Mrs. Branford!- I started

-Lucille is fine, if I can call you Mary

-MC- I stepped out of the way to let her in- What can I do for you?

-My mother, she is… Traditional- She sat on the loveseat by the window- I’m not going to lie. People like her, they are not easily impressed by… People like you

-People like me, you mean middle-class

She nodded- Yes, it’s in her ways. The Dresners, they come from very old money. Me, Neil and our siblings, we’re more used to the ways things are nowadays. But our mother never really spent much time with people who didn’t have as much money as she did. So she always looks down on them- She looked back at me- And she always expected Neil to marry an indoor, wealthy girl if you know what I mean

I must’ve made a face, because the look of sympathy rested on her eyes- She doesn’t think I’m worthy of Neil

-Yes, MC, but you must understand it’s old thinking. She thinks that solely based on money. Besides, it’s a little tougher on Neil because he is the oldest of us. That makes him have to marry the perfect woman in her eyes.

I looked at her- The oldest… So…

-Neil is the heir of our estate. Of our parents fortune.

My eyes went wide. It must’ve been obvious, but I just realized that- I never thought of it that way.

-Listen, MC. When Neil left Boston, after Alton passed away… He was not just unhappy. He was lost, his eyes were haunted. He was cold and it seemed like all life from him was just gone. He had this hard edge, and he estranged himself from all of us- She looked at nothing, but I could see pain in her eyes- When he came back from France I convinced myself I would never see the Neil I use to know before the war again, I knew some of his troubles. Then a few years after he left I started to convince myself I’d never see him again- She turned her eyes to me- And then a few months after knowing you he writes back, and then he comes home. On top of it, although there’s still a hard edge on him, I can see it in his eyes that you make him happy. I can see the old Neil in him. That’s why I know you’re more than worthy to be with my brother, you brought him back from the darkness he lived in

Wow. I was so caught up in what she said. It was nice knowing she was on my side- Lucille, I didn’t really do much… I

-No humbleness. Just take some credit for it. I can see you care for him very much

I nodded exaggeratedly- I love Neil.

-And you can see it in his eyes he loves you-She got up this time, going to a dresser in the room- My brother will be happy with you, and I’m so excited to have you as my new sister. However, convincing my parents require a different approach- She pulled out a dress. A beautiful and obviously expensive dress

It was a salmon color, a soft V-neck that was more of an U and graceful short sleeves. While the looseness of the dress was there, it’d flatter whoever’s waist it was on with a slight inward curve, going down in a soft A-line. The dress ended right below the knees. The pattern on it was two colors. One the color of the dress, only visible if you really paid attention to it, the other was white and in the shape of leaves, like a garden going around and forming a heart around the chest area, small flower-like drawings of the same color elegantly finished the dress.

-Oh Lucille, it’s beautiful, but I couldn’t-

-Yes, you can. It doesn’t fit me anymore and it’d help you impress everybody, plus I’m sure Neil would love to see you in it. C’mon, put it on

I hesitantly did so, and once I saw myself in the mirror with it, it made it a lot easier to accept it. I loved it- Thank you, Lucille

-We’re not done. It’s not just the dress- She said pulling some accessories out. First she fixed my curls, like she watched people doing hers enough times to know how. Then she placed a white headband on my head. It had a details on the side, I didn’t dare ask if they were diamonds or something else. A pearl necklace was put around my neck, I asked myself if they were real pearls. Lastly she brought in beautiful heels. They were white as well, clasped in the middle of my feet, and closed in a salmon bow.

When I finished putting them on I looked myself in the mirror again. Oh boy, Momma would pass out if she saw me like this. Poppa would finally consider me his pride. I was all dolled-up. That sensation that I was an imposter grew in me, but then I was only human. I felt confident again- What do you think? - I asked her

-I think you’re ready to face them. Now, I have to go get dressed myself

-For sure, yes- I smiled to her- Thank you Lucille, really

-You brought my brother home back to us… It’s the least I could’ve done- She hugged me tight- Remind me to properly introduce you to Michael at the ball

I agreed laughing lowly and feeling a lot better

A little while after I heard another knock on my door, when I opened it, I was more than happy to see it was Neil. He seemed surprised at my get-up at first, then he smiled

-I see you’ve had some help

-Well, your sister came in and-

-You look beautiful- he offered me his hand and I took it. I was going to say something smart, but the look in his eyes was so sincere I didn’t want to ruin the moment

-Thanks- I said instead- Did everyone already leave?

-Well, lucky for me, I’m the reason of this party- He said it in a sarcastic tone- So I get to come in late and be the center of attention, I’m hoping their curiosity about you takes some of it away from me.

-Neil Dresner is back home, and he brought a low-class girl with him and he’s saying he’s gonna marry her?-I raised my voice to sound like upper-crust gossip- My oh my, Doctor Dresner, quite a scandal

He gave me that warm smile that went all the way up to his eyes. The one that always makes me feel the jitters in a good way

However I wasn’t done- They’ll probably think you’ve gone crazy and send you to a psych ward or think you’ve knocked me up and now you’re stuck with me- I pretended to hold a fan imitating the rich older women- Disgraceful, truly disgraceful

This time he let out a laugh, a harsh laugh, but a long one that sounded like melody to me. For a second I thought he wouldn’t stop laughing, and then I started up laughing too. We walked all the way to the car like that

-People will think I’ve gone soft if I spend too much time with you- He said

-You agreed to spend the rest of your life with me. You’ll be the biggest softie the United States has ever seen

He let out a harsh chuckle this time, as if he told me he wouldn’t ever let that happen. Then the servant from before opened the back door of a fancy car, it had a long hood and it was half black and half white, a wheel sat on its side. I could also see a chauffeur in the front

-Wow, you’re getting the whole ritzy treatment today- I said getting into the car and we were on our way

-You get used to this kind of stuff- He mentioned and then turned to me- You will…- Before I could ask what he meant, he kept going- You know, during these balls we were required to attend, me and Alton would usually spend the entire time together. He didn’t use to be a fan of it either. Having him there… It always made it feel better, it always made it fun somehow- Then he turned to look at me- Having you there, it’s going to make it feel better

I smiled, filled with emotion, but I had to say something- You’re definitely turning soft on me

He rolled his eyes-I should’ve known better than being nice with you, Granger

Our verbal sparring continued until we stopped in front of a big house, the doors were open to reveal a ball room at the bottom of the stairs. I’ve done this before. They’ll announce us and we’ll go down and I’ll act like I’m entitled to the world

So we did just that. The servant opened the car door and Neil took my hand to help me out of the car. Then, I took his arm and we walked in to the top of the stars. People there looked at Neil like he was a rare diamond, like the king of England just walked in. I could feel his tenseness with the looks, but the preparedness for it in his eyes, he whispered to the announcer and then held my arm tighter

-Mr. Cornelius Dresner of Boston and his fiancée Miss Granger

-C’mon- I said lowly and he followed, so we both went down the stairs.

At the bottom of it his family came over again, and soon I could see people looking and gossiping. It was a good hour of walking around and talking to his family and everyone Neil once used to know and introducing me. I felt like I was in one of those old periods of time when the upper crust used to announce engagements.

After a while I was talking to Lucille while Neil talked to some of the other men. Then she looked behind me and got closer to whisper something- Look, Momma just took Neil to talk to Lillie and left them alone

I looked around feeling my heart jump, at first I felt was surprised. I remember who Lillie was, Lucille’s best friend and… Neil’s ex-fiancée. I remember feeling pity for her because Neil left her, but the pangs of jealousy struck me once I saw her.

She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, for the second time that day I felt insecurity, but this made me feel much tinier. Because I knew Neil’s mother approved of her, because she was part of the high society and she grew up in it. Her pale skin, her green eyes, her dark smooth hair. She was tall and charming, she was the figure of elegancy. I also knew Neil found her attractive, that he was romantically involved with her once. If he used to love her, how can I be sure all those feelings are gone? No… It’s just the atmosphere and everything, it’s just all throwing me off.

I must’ve been so shaken up I felt paralyzed. Lucille shook me- Hey… Hey! They walked outside. We can spy on them from over in that room- She said pulling me along, I wasn’t even paying attention until I was already there. It was a dark room, looked like an office? Lucille brought us to a window, the drapes were almost closed so you couldn’t see us, but we could spy on them

-I have missed you, Neil- She looked up to him, and her eyes were shining. I knew what that look was… She was still in love with him- I haven’t courted anyone else- She showed him her hand- I’m still wearing the ring you picked out for me.

-I didn’t really pick it out, Lillie it was…

-Yeah, your grandmother’s. You told me remember? You got it when you were fourteen. It was to keep it to the woman you loved the most, to the woman you wished to spend the rest of your life with, whom you’ll always love and that woman shall always love you- She held his hands this time and I felt my stomach sink- You told me that you would always love me if I always loved you back-She got closer to him, this time placing her hand on his face- Here I am, still loving you. Can you say everything was washed away?

He took a few steps back, his confusion could be seen on his face. I wondered what he had to be confused about- Nothing is ever just washed away, Lillie. You of all people should know that.

My heart hurt, what did he mean by that, did he mean his feelings for her were still there?

She smiled softly-Neil… You never gave me closure. You never ended our engagement. One day you were just gone. People kept telling me that you were gone for good-She looked away at the stars, it was a well moonlit light. It was perfectly romantic, but that didn’t fit me one bit in that moment. I hated the romanticism of the stars and the shine that it gave on her face. I hated that it made her look more beautiful- But me and Lucille we knew you’d come back to us. That you’d come back to me. And you were so troubled when you left…

-Lillie…-He looked at the stars now too- I’m sorry for what I’ve done in the past. There’s a lot of stuff I’ve done that I can’t fix and I have to live with it. But I got a second chance to make things better. I’m not the same man who proposed to you back then

-Then how is it I look in your eyes and I see him? I see my Neil

I don’t know if I was feeling anger, sadness or disbelief. It could’ve been all of those together. Lillie knows Neil is engaged to me, she must know, we were announced together. You’d think she’d have some respect

-You see what you want to see, Lillie. You think you love me but you don’t

-I went after you! I went to Chicago-He looked at her with interest, she was caught up in her emotions, crying now- Mr. Drummond told me how you were troubled, lost in… Morphine, was it? I looked for you all around the city, and I couldn’t find you. I’m fighting for you Neil. I can’t give up on us

He breathed funny- Lillie-

Before he could say anything else she hugged him, and he hugged her back for my surprise. When was it that Neil hugged any girl like that?

-Seemed you two form quite the spies- A voice behind us said- Me and Lillie jumped. It was Neil’s mother, and she seemed satisfied from what she saw outside, seeing as she was the facilitator in the situation- You see, Miss Granger. Neil belongs back here, in Boston. And you belong is whatever infested middle-class house you came from with your people. You will never be worthy of my son, and of course it only took the right girl to pull him back into his senses.

-Mother…!- Lucille started

-I’ve had enough of it, Lucille! The little gal needs to know her place. Did you think you could ever make your way into OUR family?

I didn’t say anything. This was so far away from my reality at the Ice Box, my family or everything that I’d ever done before. I couldn’t… I can’t handle this.

-I have to go- It was the only thing I could say before flying out of there. I got back in the car asking for the driver to take me back to the town house, once I was in I couldn’t stop my racing thoughts until I was in the guest room, packing my bags.

But then I stopped. Neil… I can’t just leave him like this. I was so mad at him, I was so mad at all of this, I… I want to go back to Chicago. I looked in the mirror again, all dressed up in fancy things, this isn’t who I am. I surprised myself by ripping it all out of me, putting on my favorite green dress and hat, the ones I wore all the time. Once I was back in clothes that made me recognize myself I swore I’d never again try to be somebody I wasn’t. C’mon MC, you always knew you didn’t have to prove anything to anybody.

But I let my stupid wandering thoughts continue. Neil knelt down in front of Lillie once and asked her to marry him. He asked her to marry him, not me. She had a ring on her finger, not me.

I don’t know how much time had passed by when I heard people in the house.

-MC!- I heard Neil’s voice from downstairs- MC!- He didn’t knock on my door, just walked in- Lucille, she told me you listened to me and Lillie talk

-Yeah, I heard it, alright

-I…-He was going to say something when he saw the bag I started to pack, then he looked at me, visibly mad- You were leaving? Without me?

-No! Not without you. I was gonna wait for you- I walked until him- Let’s go back to Chicago

-We’ve only been here a day

-I can’t be here anymore, Neil. Please, let’s leave

-I haven’t been back in years. You convince me to write to my sister, convince me to come over here, we’re here less than 24 hours and you want me to leave? I just got the courage to be here

-Neil, today has been the most stressful day of my life! I have been dressing up like a paper doll, I have been trying to impress your mother and all I’ve been hearing is how much I’m not worthy, how I won’t fit in, how I’m way in over my head! I have been feeling nothing but insecure, down and I’ve been trying to do everything for you, but I can’t- I was rambling on and tears had begun falling from my eyes, but I didn’t even care- I’ve been keeping a stone face all day trying to make you happy because I know this is huge, but it’s tiring! It’s tiring feeling so out of place, and then hearing your mother say all those things, and then I walked out there to the ball and you go in a secluded area with your beautiful ex-fiancée to exchange words of love under the moonlight?!

-I didn’t say any words of love!- He raised his voice, more than I’ve ever heard him raise it before- I was feeling bad for Lillie, I left her and never came back after promising her a married life! I gave her time because I was trying to fix what I did wrong in the past, with everyone!

I didn’t know what to say or think- Neil, let’s just please, go!

-Yes, I think it’s time you went back to Chicago, if you’re going to behave like this the whole trip you should go!

I looked back at him wide-eyed- You don’t mean…!

-I thought I saw a woman, MC. But how could I, you’re nineteen! I’m thirty-two. You’re the same kid I saw the first night you came to Chicago.

I looked right at him as I wiped my tears off my face, then I grabbed my bag I had packed. Neil called Lillie a ghost back in Chicago, but he was wrong. Lillie wasn’t a ghost, nothing back in Boston or his past life had anything to go with ghosts, ghosts terrify you, but he seemed just fine where he was. Maybe this is where Neil belongs after all. But it’s sure not where I belong.

That night for me was the true ghostly aura. A memory that’d haunt me forever. I left Boston, alone, under the beautiful moonlight that would have enchanted me otherwise. I left with only one certainty: I’ll be dead before somebody ever mentions the name Neil Dresner to me ever again!

1933

-Alright, ready?- I asked and the kids all agreed. Neil wasn’t one to make a big deal out of his birthday, but after a few ones together he knew there was no point in fighting against it. I’d always want it to make it a special day, so we settled on a cake and some candles. Just me, him and the kids- One, two, three!

The kids along with me started our little choir, for that man that was so special to all of us- Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear daddy! Happy birthday to you!

-Do we really need to do this every year?-He asked, cynically, but with a little smile on his face

-Alright, mister doom and gloom! We have this discussion every year!- I kissed him in the cheek

We all had our piece of cake. After putting the kids to bed, I walked outside, the moon was shining in the sky and it was a cold January night. Neil soon joined me- One more year close to death- He said raising his glass, then proceeding to drink the bourbon inside it

-You always know how to lighten up the mood-I pulled him in for a hug and along with it a long kiss

-You’re something else, MC, you know that?

-I’ve been told-I smiled up to him, mischievously

-You can never have any idea of how much I love you- He played with my hair, moving it out of my face

-I have some

He chuckled very softly, almost inaudibly- I just ask one thing of you, MC Granger… Never change who you are

----

Little curiosities: DRAAAAAMA. I thought they deserved a little fight and angst. Well, next chapter we’ll be back in Chicago and it’s time for the Ice Box to shine again! Woo Woo, Prohibition stuuuff!

Thanks so much for reading this chapter, guys! Hope you enjoyed it!

Chapter 4 is already on its way!

-Candy, My Dear Diary (5/24/2020)

#voltage usa #speakeasy tonight #voltage inc #voltage amemix #voltage games #voltage #neil dresner #lovestruck #lovestruck voltage #vince moretti

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rich50g-blog · 4 years

Text

Starting anew

Hi i am Richard i was married for over 30 years to a non loving woman, a month ago i decided to find a loving woman for the rest of my life. I am 67 so maybe not impossible thing to accomplish but will be difficult to find someone who would love an old man, I am not wealthy by any means i will tell why that matters later, I also moved to Kingwood Texas i worked here 30 years ago and loved all the trees and trails for biking and walking. New apartment took me a while to get settled in, when i first got here i started having some problems with my left knee and hip, my hip was pain my knee was weakness so much so if i put all my weight on it i would fall down, I know how to fall from past experiences with weak ankles, i mostly scrape a knee nothing too serious. So I have also signed up for several dating sights some are worthless some are ok, some attract scammers who love old guys to try and weasel money from them, that happened to me 8 times before i stopped using the site., then i tried Zoosk, and was attracting all the wrong woman i thought, mostly gray haired old sad ladies, I realize i am old gray haired old sad man but thought i could get someone a little younger and intelligent. i next joined Anastasia-date, mostly Ukraine with some Russian ladies thrown in, most liked my age and my pictures, so that worked out pretty well, i would do a search for a particular city, and height of the lady, nothing else was added, I am 6′2″ so liked taller ladies 5′8 and up. that was easy there are a lot of tall slavis women, then after a couple of chats i learned to search ladies with no kids, I have had my kids did not need anymore, i also looked for ladies over 35 because the ones under that all wanted babies or family. I have two grown daughters and after my youngest was born i had not one but two Vasectomy’s which was fun no. hehe So my search contained height, no kids, over 35, and i added different levels of English, I found out Intermediate was not good either the ladies did not understand a word i said or typed, they had to use a translator program so then i would add Advanced or fluent to my search, the advanced ladies knew moer English and understood me pretty much. So the only problem i noticed with the women here was the men there, every one mentioned how selfish the men were there and only wanted sex and no relationship, So i was getting more and more information into what these ladies wanted in a man and not wanted. So I fit my profile to feel their wants and needs, Wow I started to get some beautiful, intelligent women who preferred older men, they trust them not to be selfish, and conceded like most not all slavic men. I will not put all of the men there in the category but a lot are, some examples a pretty 30 year old lady with 3 kids from Odessa Ukraine, I mean she is gorgeous, intelligent and dumped by her husband who found a much younger woman, She raised 3 kids so far by herself for 10 years because her husband did not want the responsibility to bother him. What a loser and he has not seen his kids since he left with new girlfriend, ok anyway she is very nice and pretty but finding a lady with 3 kids was not my idea of life, so i told her goodbye, sorry i have to have somethings about the ladies taht i can live with. that was not one of them, you won’t believe the next one, who was a stewardess living in Odessa, what a crazy bitch oh my, oh yea there is something called video chat, not all ladies have it, but this one did, she was pretty and tall ok and she was 30 with not kids again ok. She started stripping I mean to nothing, and playing with herself i was not prodding her to do anything my mouth was open in awe of what was happening, by the way video chat is very expensive. Next this crazy woman starts to talk about her mother, I go ok as she talks more and more about her telling me how pretty she is and stuff, again i know i should have left the chat but i wanted to see what this woman was going to do next, well next made me sick, this whole entire time she was setting me up to have sex with her and her mother, my gosh sorry that is sick to me, so now i have had enough I closed the video chat and blocked her from contacting me again, One thing i was starting to find out was none of the ladies i had talked to wanted to or thought of leaving the site, they said they felt safe, but me thinks that the site programmed them to never leave, because site only makes money if they get men to chat with them, So none of the ladies even mention it when i ask they change the subject. The thing is i came to figure out is this site and most of them do not want the people to ever meet, they make it so hard to meet it is almost impossible too, the women do not realize this or if they do afraid to leave the site because they live in old communist state and they were told to do everything and obey without question. That is why anytime i would ask a lady to leave this site to like Google Hangouts they would say maybe later i still have not made enough money on you yet haha here is another thing all chats are monitored and if you were to type the name of a free site the monitor would dot out what you typed. Again they do not want the girls to meet anyone they lose money if that happens., So I still talk to a couple of ladies just to chat and see how life in their country is.Most of them are still bad, but flights to Europe are opening up. Ukraine still has civil war going on and no body can fly there for obvious reasons they shoot down airliners. for the ladies to get to the area they have to take a bus to Kiev and fly from there, riding the bus through a bad area. So it is not easy, because of Covid I would talk to many ladies because the chance of visiting them was almost impossible because of borders closed.. Ok moving on i had two MRI’s last week and i was given a appointment with a neurosurgeon, they told me i have degenerative disc disease in spin lumbar causing pressure on nerves and spinal stenosis, but i did not understand it could be surgery or physical therapy and med . we will see. Ok while i was looking at the Europe dating site I had found the Asian one mostly Chinese women who are all very beautiful and good wife's they also think older men are better because the young ones they cannot trust, this site is owned and operated by the Europe one with same features, I found here that most of the ladies here do not want babies over 35, so again my search criteria consisted of over 35 at first but i changed that later for another reason. I would also in search add wealthy or rich, just to see how many women turned up, hundreds of not thousands of ladies starting from 19 on up. and again they are looking hard for old guys they can trust. Most were business owners from very rich families. originally i was not in this for money but i got to think why not i am on SSN and a small Pension so heck yes. ok I first got a letter from woman 1 on July 9th, two days later her sister wrote one. Shes lady 2. lady number 1′s letter said she was a banker wanting to invest in the U S and moving their business here, yea what are the odds right? Well when i got her sisters lady number 2 who told me their family where heirs to the Qing Dynasty, i did my research and found that their family is one of the oldest and riches family in China. So wow, this is the arrangement the sisters wanted to make with me, I would marry one of them and the other would be my concubine. What the heck? So now i have to chose between a gorgeous 27 year old or the other sister a beautiful 19 year old, who are promising to fly here in private jet. ,Oh yea i have set up a call to the girls next week and supposed to talk with Dad as well. No pressure right? Now i am getting a little nervous the girls are telling me that their father wants me to take over the family, because Dad wants to retire,I was a manager and engineer for ATT for over 30 years but this would be managing the wealthiest family business in China. Yes it is getting very real now, oh yes on the dating site on my search for rich or wealthy or business owners thousands of ladies profiles appeared I talked to some but very immature would in first chat say they have loved me all of their life, this was common with most of them i talked too, The younger sister is cute but i can tell is very immature so chances are i am going to chose the older sister who owns several banks, and wants to move her business to the U S which allows me to live where i want too, my choice is San Diego, i grew up there and love it there, by the beach both girls seem excited about that.Well its 5 in the morning my hip will not let me sleep but i am going to try again, night all till tomorrow for more Richie

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