#anyways if someone who did get a code wants to buy me a ticket for any of the miami shows. i will give u head.

[spencereid]

got waitlisted and i’m so fucking gutted :-(

[sohmariku]

Riku's Random Life: Wedding Rant!?

Have I ever told you I absolutely hate weddings? I absolutely cannot fathom what people like about them. Why do we throw lavish parties just to promise someone that we plan to spend the rest of our life with them! There is absolutely no added value there. They are just an absolute waste of money! Nothing enjoyable about them at all. Long and boring ceremonies, ridiculous speeches that expose every stupid thing you ever did, annoying dress codes, mediocre food... Do I need to go on? I personally don't see the point.

Getting married is one thing, but a wedding...

Do you know what's worse than attending a wedding as a guest?

It's planning a wedding!

And there isn't even anything to plan! Or, rather... There wasn't supposed to be anything to plan! Other than contacting the city hall and getting the legalities of the ceremony sorted.

Ah yes, I'm getting married...

Thankfully my fiancée has always agreed with me that weddings are a waste of money. So it was never going to be a lavish party. Just a small group of guests, a short ceremony, and then dinner in some restaurant. Anything more and I'd probably not survive the day without some kind of meltdown.

To increase my survival rate, the restaurant has turned into "homemade cake and drinks in our living room after the ceremony".

It was all supposed to be simple, but then the questions started coming in. And it started driving me insane! As I feared, people have expectations of what a wedding is supposed to be... and I'm not having it!

What are you going to wear? I'll probably order some dress online. One I might also wear in daily life. I'm not buying some expensive wedding dress for a 15-minute ceremony and a "reception" in my own living room! (Fiancée is aware of this.) What's the dress code? I don't fucking care. Just wear clothes. (Fiancée insisted on at least telling our guests to dress neatly.) When will you send the (official) Wedding invitation cards? I'm not sending any! Fuck off! It's a waste of money. You get an email or a text. Deal with it! (Thought we agreed on this, but then Fiancée said he wanted to send a physical card to his parents, because they love cards... After initially refusing to make an exception for such a ridiculous reason, I begrudgingly agreed to let him send invitation cards to our parents. I reminded myself it is his wedding too. I don't get to decide everything by myself. I still think the cards are unnecessary.) Where are going for your honeymoon? We're not going on a honeymoon. We're still planning to visit Japan later this year, but that's got nothing to do with the wedding! (Fiancée has been calling our planned trip to Japan a honeymoon since before he even proposed though. It's not! We would still go, even if we weren't getting married.)

By now, every mention of my wedding is sending my anxiety levels through the roof, leaving me instantly exhausted!

This is why I didn't want a wedding ceremony! Just let me sign the paperwork and let's call it a day!

Yes, I get people who have questions. And yes, some of them make sense, but... when an Aunt, who isn't even invited, asked to be sent a wedding invitation card anyway... that blew my fuse! How does that make sense! I'm most definitely not sending invitations to people who aren't invited!

What also doesn't help is the fact that I wasn't given enough time to adjust to the idea of having a wedding. Yes, we originally planned to get married in September, but since my brother (who lives in Japan) was supposed to visit around that time. But when he still hadn't booked his tickets in begin July, I pretty much started assuming we would be delaying the wedding till next year, because time was running short and the city hall likely wouldn't be able to accommodate us on such short notice.

Lo and behold, my brother suddenly booked his plane tickets and somehow the city hall still has two dates available in September. So, a week before I'm to leave on a two-week camping trip my fiancée starts arranging the paperwork to get married in September after all. This is mid-July! We're getting married in the first week of September! I had to fill out the legal paperwork on my phone while camping!

The moment I returned home it was time to start considering what I would be wearing that day. After telling myself over and over again I'd buy something from within the country, I ended up ordering from Yesstyle after all. (Because it's so pretty and not too expensive!) I seem to do this every time a wedding comes up, be it my own or someone else's. I tell myself to get something from within the country, or at least within Europe, but then I end up ordering from Yesstyle after all, because they just always seem to have what I'm looking for. And each time I'll be eating myself up, because the delivery time is gonna cut it really close. So, if the dress doesn't fit, I'm screwed. And the tracking code isn't much use either, as I clearly won't be showing any updates until the package is basically on my doorstep already. (It's been stuck on "prenotification received" for nearly a week now.)

Ugh... best day of your life. Who came up with that! My own wedding is more likely to be the worst day ever, and I'll be glad when it's over.

I'll try to enjoy it, I will. But I fear the worst...

[aventurasdeunatortuga]

Seoul

Time for my last post of this trip. 😢

I’ve been able to spend the last 2.5 days in Seoul. I finagled my flight around purposefully to have this stopover since I was always gonna have a layover anyway flying to PDX from Xi’an so I thought I might as well use it to my advantage.

I’ve been to Seoul before, again just on a layover, back in 2017 I was there for 8 hours. We got to leave the airport and actually managed to do quite a lot in a short time (even though we almost missed our flight back home). The last 3 years or so though I’ve been really into Korean media and a lot of the TV/movies I watch and music I listen to is Korean so I’ve been itching to come to Seoul. It’s a truly amazing city and I really want to come back and spend a truly decent amount of time here, not just in Seoul but in Korea in general. I honestly could have spent a month just in Seoul and never gotten bored there is so much to do and see.

I got to Seoul on Friday evening and was immediately struck by how strange it was to see a diverse group of people. Not that Seoul is necessarily the most diverse city in the world but just after being in China where non-Chinese people were between 1-10% of the population outside of Beijing/Shanghai it was very refreshing. It was also immediately much easier to communicate and get around and no one was staring or pointing at me. Obviously Korean is the main language here but most signs and announcements are also done in English, Mandarin, and Japanese and the infrastructure is incredibly well organized, probably the best I’ve ever come across to be honest, it made everything much easier. I know 7-8 words total in Korean, I really did make a solid attempt to study it before going and I learned enough to be able to at least read it, since its at least an alphabetic language unlike Chinese, but between that and trying to learn Mandarin I couldn’t retain very much and the grammar and vocabulary was really difficult for me. Its been very simple though to get by with English here, but I hate assuming or relying on another people knowing my language when I am a guest in their country.

Korea is extremely convenient, but China still has everyone beat with the QR codes though…it was weird to go back to using my wallet to pay for things instead of my phone.

At the airport I met someone named Isaac from Kenya who asked for some help finding the metro. He seemed very lost and he had so many bags I have no idea how he was managing all of it. I showed him where to go and helped him buy a ticket and then he wanted to ride the airport train together and that’s when again I got into the dilemma of is this stranger being friendly or creepy. I helped him get his bags on the airport train because there was no way he would have been able to manage his bags by himself and over the course of that he made several friends with other passerby who helped him with directions, etc. and he would introduce me as his friend. Maybe it was a cultural thing and I am uncomfortable 100% of the time in social situations so I don’t know. He had wanted to exchange phone numbers and spend the entire weekend seeing the city together so that’s when I started feeling a weird vibe so I pretended to be asleep on the train.

The train took an hour to get from the airport to downtown and then later on in the train ride he asked how he could travel to the US and if I’d ever consider a green card marriage (I think this was said jokingly but still…that line is a red flag for me…) so at that point I got off the train because it had luckily arrived and lost him in the metro station so that was the end of that. I am really bad at making friends and talking to people but also there are creepy people out there so its always hard to know what to do in social situations. Sigh.

Anyway I made it to my hostel without incident despite at that point it being past 11pm. It’s an electronic hostel so there’s no staff except for a part time housekeeper. All the rooms have electronic locks and you only have access to the door codes during your stay and then they get changed. It was interesting. I was in a shared room with 3 Brazilians who had been there for nearly a month but they left the following morning so the rest of the time I had the giant room to myself.

I went out to the 7/11 downstairs for dinner. One of the many things I love about Korea is how accessible and convenient things tend to be. On the tiny little street I was staying on there were literally several restaurants, convenience stores, coffee shops, etc

that were all open late and very cheap. There’s always a lot of people out and about so it always felt very safe. The convenience stores here are on another level too. They usually will have eating spaces, microwaves, hot water, etc so you can buy an instant meal, cook it, and eat it all in the store. They also sell pre-packaged bagged coffees, teas, juice, etc. and cups of ice so you can make yourself iced coffee and milk tea and things like that and so even though its not the healthiest it is actually pretty high quality food and many are open 24 hours. Its not at all strange to go have your lunch break at 7/11 or go out and have a late night snack at 2am.

On Saturday I was really exhausted so despite me wanting to go out and do a bunch of stuff my body rebelled and I had a massive headache most of the morning. I finally got out and went to a coffeeshop though to revive myself. Seoul has the highest density of cafes in the world. Geographically and population wise there are definitely cities that are way bigger, but Seoul has the highest number of cafes per capita. Literally on a single city block it is not uncommon for there to be at least 3-4 cafes. A lot of them are themed and many have computerized ordering, cheap, high quality food and drinks, and many are also set up as workspaces so it is super convenient.

I was at a cafe for most of the morning and then in the afternoon I went to the Coex Mall, one of several enormous malls in Seoul. I saw the Starfield Library which is a famous library. I had thought it was a bookstore but it was literally a public library inside the mall. There was also an aquarium in the mall but I didn’t go there. I also went and saw the Barbie movie and had snacks at the food court, but was too overwhelmed by then to stay for dinner. I ended up somehow in the Gangam neighborhood which is known for high end shopping and big stores, I went to a couple of themed shops and even did a photobooth at one of them. Photobooths are super popular here and lots of places have them and will have props to dress up with, Irene even joined on a video call while I was in the photobooth so it was hilarious. I ended up buying a lot of stuff too, there is a trend in Korea for clothes with English phrases on them and a lot of them, either intentionally or unintentionally, are very bizarre and hilarious so I got a few of those.

Then I went back to my street where my hostel was and was overwhelmed by all the food options even at 11:30pm I eventually found a place and got a pork, kimchi, rice, and egg bowl that was really delicious but definitely put my spice tolerance to the test and some soju, a very popular Korean liquor that I like. The issue with soju though is that it is very light tasting, it doesn’t taste strong at all but it is in fact very very strong so it can be a bit dangerous.

On Sunday I had a ton that I wanted to do but it was raining. Its been raining a lot in Korea the last few weeks, monsoon season has hit the area badly these last few years. The rain itself wasn’t that bad it was more just drizzly but the streets aren’t really set up for rain so there are puddles everywhere and its really slippery. Also a lot of buildings are built with basements so there has been a lot of significant flood damage. The flooding was so bad a few weeks ago a train actually derailed, a bus overturned, and multiple historical monuments were completely underwater. I didn’t see much flooding myself, but my shoes absolutely got totally destroyed from 11+ hours of walking in the rain.

A lot of the street vendors in addition to selling umbrellas sell socks. I didnt understand why at first until I went through 3 pairs of socks in a day on Sunday because they kept getting soaked through. I had to throw my sneakers away by the end of the day because they were so destroyed and am down to a pair of flip flops that are barely clinging to life.

Despite the dampness, I visited a cafe called Greem 2D Cafe which is an illustration themed cafe. The whole thing from the furniture to the food looks like 2D drawings so it has a really cool kind of cartoony effect. Then later I went to the Insadong neighborhood which was historically an art and market neighborhood, so there were a lot of really cool shops there. Then I went over to one of the historic neighborhoods to look at the old houses and visited a tea house.

Then after that I did a night walking tour that I signed up for on airbnb. I hadn’t been able to do any tours at all since the one I did my first night in Beijing. A lot of international tour places I usually use don’t operate in China and even the ones that did weren’t offering tours to foreigners because there just weren’t any foreigners. There were plenty of Chinese tours but I didn’t know how to sign up for them and I didn’t think it would be very useful to join a tour I couldn’t understand anything in so I didn’t go on any.

Anyway, it was nice to not have to think about logistics and just let someone else who knew what they were doing do all the decision making and navigating for a bit as well as meet other people. I met some people from Nigeria, Singapore, and the UK on this tour. We got to see Changdeokgung Palace, one of I think 5 royal palaces from the Joseon Dynasty in Seoul.

For context, Korea was a monarchy up until I believe 1910. The Joseon Dynasty was the longest ruling dynasty for several centuries and it is considered something of a Golden Age in Korean history. In 1910 Korea was invaded and colonized by Imperial Japan who went to unspeakably cruel and horrific lengths to attempt to eradicate Korean culture and assimilate the population. Many historical artifacts/buildings were completely destroyed and others were turned into places like zoos in order to desecrate and diminish the heritage there. The surviving royal family was exiled to Japan to dilute the blood line. Thousands were killed. The Korean language was outlawed and only through courageous efforts of ordinary people was Korean language and culture preserved.

Japan released control of Korea after World War II but then Korea was used as the grounds of a proxy war between the United States controlling South Korea and the Soviet Union controlling North Korea. The country was split in half, many families were split right down the middle, with siblings, parents, children, and spouses being separated from each other to this day. Despite the peace treaty signed decades ago between the US and the Soviets and the splitting of the country in half; South Korea actually had no say in this peace treaty and wasn’t invited to sign it. Many Koreans consider the Korean War to still be ongoing, and it will only end when Korea is unified and healed back into one country. North Korea continues to struggle with dictatorship and famine; and even after the Korean War South Korea struggled with a dictatorship, government suppression of free speech, and with economic crises clear until the 90’s that led to many people immigrating to the west and lots of children being given up in international adoptions. Its only in the last few recent decades that Korea has begun to grow so astronomically, one of the biggest problems today is the same massive disparity we see in the US between the ultra rich and the poor.

Sorry for the impromptu history lesson that literally no one asked for there. All of this is a long winded way to say that Koreans are fiercely proud of and protective of their cultural heritage, and for good reason, as it has been threatened for so long.

Anyway, the main Joseon palace in Seoul is Gyeongbokgung, which I visited in 2017. The one I visited in this trip, Changdeokgung, was built as a sanctuary specifically for the women of the royal family. We learned a lot about the site from our tour guide Pearl and about some of the dramatic court history amongst the royal family during the Joseon dynasty, how the Japanese burned and destroyed a lot of the palace and turned the remnants into a zoo, and then how in recent years it was restored to look much how it did during the Joseon dynasty.

After visiting the palace we went and visited a local market and got to try 마걸리 (maekgolli, distilled rice wine served in a gold/metal flat pan) and eat 파전 (pajeon, savory Korean pancakes). It was really yummy and it was cool to eat them in the market especially because I would never have known about the place or been capable of ordering from the place on my own. While we walked to the next site the tour guide pointed out some filming spots from Korean dramas I’ve watched before so that was cool to see. Last we visited 조녀사 (Jogyesa) Temple which ia a Buddhist temple. Korea isn’t super strongly religious; it is mainly a Christian country with some traditional beliefs mixed in, but there are definitely some Buddhist temples mixed in with the churches. I always feel uncomfortable visiting a place of worship as a tourist especially if I am not of that religion, I feel like I’m intruding on something or like I’m being disrespectful by just nosing around taking photos, I’ve visited a lot of Buddhist temples before in Thailand but that was because I was invited to do so or because it was designated more as a tourist spot than an active worship site. But people were like actively praying and I didn’t want to intrude so I just looked around the outside of the building which was super pretty and waited for the tour group.

On my way back to the hostel the British lady from the tour, Nicky, invited me to Korean bbq the next day with another tour for lunch. I really wanted to go because I love kbbq and its really hard to go by yourself since the orders are so huge so I decided to accept even though that would mean maybe missing my flight the next day. I also walked down by the stream that runs right through Seoul, it was a very nice oasis to visit my last night, it had been closed due to the rain earlier.

On Monday I gathered all my crap and lugged it in the humid (thankfully no longer rainy) heat to the metro to store my luggage in a locker. The metro is super convenient here but the stations are enormous, I must have walked miles just doing transfers between stations today in my falling apart flip flops. All day today I tried to look for a place to grab a new pair of shoes but I was so pressed for time I didn’t get the chance. I very quickly joined a group for Korean barbecue, the group was also run by airbnb and Nicky from the night before had invited me to join. I stuffed myself with delicious food until I really truly had to get moving and then raced across the city and made it barely for my flight 15 minutes before the gate closed.

One day I will get to visit Seoul Incheon airport without having to sprint across it drenched in sweat, but today was not that day. I really had thought I wouldn’t repeat my mistakes from the last time I was here but I guess I never learn. There’s just something about Seoul that makes it so hard to leave.

Anyway, this has been a super long post in a series of super long posts. I’m sad this trip is ending. I really want to spend more time in Korea without feeling so rushed and there is so much more to see in China. Guess that just means I’ll have to come back.

I’m currently on a long long flight back to the US, and I’m missing Asia already.

Until next time,

🐢

[kithtaehyung]

AHHH RYEN I SECURED TICKETS FOR 5/6 IN CHICAGOOOO!!! (congrats to those who also got tickets!)

Bro, oh my god. I’ve only ever done ticketing one other time for PTD in Vegas and I didn’t have a membership back then, so I was kind of a newbie on the whole thing…. and let me just say, what a brutal. fucking. nightmare. I was so anxious all day I couldn’t eat any food, and then during the sale, I bit all my nails off it was so bad 😭

I was initially hoping for floor seats but when I got through the queue they were basically all gone, and so I had to keep trying and trying different seats and LET ME JUST SAY THAT MY LEAST FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD RN IS THE STUPID ASS MESSAGE THEY GIVE YOU WHEN SOMEONE ELSE ALREADY PURCHASED THE SEATS 😭 LIKE UGH SERIOUSLY?? I got the same notification like 20 times on BOTH my devices. Not to mention how the ticket prices went up in the middle of the sale (I saw a tweet that said their tickets went up in price while they were in their cart…)

Anyway, my mom also loves BTS so I was buying tickets for both of us, and she told me that my limit on price should be $400 per ticket (since money’s been tough lately), but like because of the rising prices, and the constant messages saying they were taken, the cheapest ones I could even find were for like $560…. so now she’s mad at me because I didn’t wait to buy cheaper resold tickets. But she doesn’t understand that like, there’s no guarantee that there will be 2 resold tickets seated together? or that they won’t all get bought by waitlisted fans before I get the chance… it’s just frustrating because she doesn’t understand that I didn’t want to risk waiting when I also already had the code and didn’t wanna be rude and waste it.

BUT despite all of that, I am still SO RELIEVED now that I know I have the tickets and I’m SO EXCITED… I need to start planning my outfit 😫😫

(also sorry this was so long, i just needed to share my excitement/also frustration w/ someone!!)

Oh holy dang, Abby😳😳 YOU DID ITTTT also this totally reads like the whole ticketing experience in a nutshell💀 apparently PTD vegas was the worst thing ever but I guess I got out unscathed because it went relatively smooth for me. But maybe it only felt that way bc MOTS was more of a battle in my case✌️😀 to have those vip tickets washed away definitely wasn’t the coolest news to hear lol

Listen. Once your mom is at the concert and experiencing all that?? She won’t mind a damn thing LMAO I think life is just too short to always err on the side of caution. You just gotta say screw it sometimes and deal with the aftermath later😂

Excited for you! I happen to have some test shirts coming in tomorrow so if you need some fit ideas I may be able to help👀👀

[ilici]

a night to remember.

Summary: After a long 4 months of just bickering, they finally decide to meet up. (Second part to 'Pretty Little Lies')

NSFW MINORS DNI!!

Warnings: Choking, cockwarming, hair pulling.

Word Count: 2892

Dream had enough of the two bickering at each other, he finally slammed his desk with his hand, making the two come to a halt. “Will you two fucking shut the hell up?” He asked annoyed, and Y/N just scoffed while looking away from the screen. “You two have reached my breaking point.” He said, seeing George just look away and Y/N discord icon stop glowing green besides the few shuffling coming from her side. “All you two do now is just bicker, we get it you guys have sexual tension but for the love of God, please just shut the fuck up.” He begged, while George’s ears burned at the mention of sexual tension. Opening his mouth to speak, nothing came out as Y/N was the first to speak up, “If I buy a plane ticket to go and visit the UK will that help you?” She asked sarcastically, and Dream sighed in relief, “Yes! Yes it fucking would!” he said loudly, while Sapnap just listened in noting to himself that he saw George’s eyes light up at the thought of Y/N visiting him. “I was joking but sheesh fine, I will.” She mumbled, and George looked between the sleeping Dream icon, and the Coraline icon that belonged to Y/N.

“Do I not have a say in this?” George finally spoke up, and raised an eyebrow that disappeared behind his long hair. Sapnap now laughed dryly, “Don’t act as if you didn’t enjoy the idea of Y/N coming to you, you know damn well your eyes lit up at the mention of it.” He said, and George just shrunk down in defeat while Dream laughed at the boy’s reaction. “There I bought the plane ticket.” She said, and they heard a ding indicating someone had joined the call, “Why the fuck did I just get a message saying I bought a plane ticket to the UK?” Quackity asked, and Y/N laughed loudly, “It’s for me but I used your money since you owed me anyways.” She told him, while Quackity just stared at his screen in shock. “That’s it I’m leaving.” He said, leaving the call right afterwards. George was now silent, and playing with the strings on his hoodie, “How long will you be staying?” Sapnap asked, and Y/N hummed leaning closer to her mic, “About three months, I want to meet everyone else, not just George here.”

Nodding, Sapnap seemed satisfied with the answer, “Wear protection.” Dream said, and George snapped his gaze up looking back at the screen, “Shut up.” He muttered, embarrassed while Y/N just laughed to cover up the fact that she too was embarrassed. “Well, I leave for the UK in two days, I still have to find a place to stay.” She explained, and George rubbed his chin before he came to a decision in his head, “You can stay with me, I recently moved into an apartment that has two rooms, you can stay in there. Although I won’t be home until later when you arrive mainly because I’ll be recording a video with Tommy and Phil.” He told Y/N, and she just listened, “Alright, then that’s settled.” She said before she grew confused, “How will I get to the house?” She asked and George shrugged, “I could have Tommy and his dad pick you up when he comes to pick me up.” He said, and Y/N nodded even though no one could see her. 

“Sounds good to me.” She said, “Well I will arrive around 9 am, so.” She muttered, looking at her phone, “That’s perfect because Tommy said he’d be around at my apartment at 9:30, and the airport is only a 20 minute drive away.” He informed her, and she nodded, shooting Tommy a quick text and telling him to keep it under wraps since he was streaming. The other two in the call were silent, enjoying the time where George and Y/N weren’t arguing. “Well I better go, I need to go pack and I also need to fix my sleep schedule.” She sighed out, before saying her goodbye’s. Leaving the call, everything hit her like a brick. She was going to leave to see George in two days. Hearing her phone ring, she saw Sapnap was calling her, answering it she put it on speaker so she could hear him while she got ready to pack. “Hey Sap.” She said, and Sapnap greeted her back, “I was wondering if I could see your face before you leave to see George.” He asked, in a very rushed way which was difficult for Y/N to keep up with.

Laughing to herself, she shrugged as Sapnap was one of her best friends and she planned on face revealing to him anyway. Clicking the FaceTime option, she propped her phone up so he could see her packing. Sapnap answered it, only showing half of his face, before his eyes widened at Y/N. She changed a bit from what George had described four months prior, “Wow, George was right. You are hot.” He said, and Y/N laughed, “Although you look a bit different apparently.” He said trying to pinpoint what looked different on her, “Oh, my hair is longer and I also dyed the the underneath of my hair.” She told him, and he nodded noting that her hair did look different from what George said. “Are you nervous?” He asked her, trying to keep the conversation going and Y/N shrugged, “A bit, mainly because I feel like when we meet things will be awkward, and we will manage to argue.” She said, while Sapnap just nodded in understanding.

“Well, if you ask me, I think meeting Tommy is going to be worse, mainly because he get’s to see your face.” He told her, and Y/N grimaced at the thought of the loud child bragging about seeing her face. “Don’t remind me.” She grumbled, while Sapnap laughed at her reaction, “Well, that’s all I need to pack.” She said after a three hour long call with her friend. “I’ll see you later, sleep well.” Sapnap said, before ending the call leaving Y/N to her own thoughts. Shooting Dream a text, asking her for advice that she’d read when she woke up. Sighing, she laid down in bed looking up at her ceiling that seemed bare to her now ever since she took off the stars. “God why did I do this?” She muttered to herself, covering her eyes with her arm before drifting off to sleep.

Finally, it was the day she was leaving for the UK. She was at the airport with her two suitcases waiting to board the plane. She had coffee in her hand as it was super early for her, and she was on call with Callahan who didn’t speak back but would text responses in return. “Callahan, I board in seven minutes holy shit.” She said, starting to panic a little, and Callahan quickly tried to calm her down making some typos along the way. “Okay I can do this.” She whispered to herself, and Callahan sent a message telling her that she’d be alright and he’d be here for her when she landed. Callahan planned on staying on the call, even though he’d be left alone for some hours. Their plan was as soon as she lands, she’d join the call and let him know she had landed. Thankfully he’d be awake as he was busy coding stuff for the new manhunt. “Well that’s my plane, I’ll see you after I land.” She told him, and he sent a quick goodbye before she left the call.

Y/N got on the plane and decided she’d sleep the entire plane ride. She had thankfully gotten first class, so she had privacy. Reclining back, she put on the movie that seemed least interesting so she wouldn’t get engaged in it. Shortly falling asleep, she woke up a couple times and would restart the movie if it had ended. Finally, after what seemed like days she finally heard the voice saying they were landing. Stretching she groaned hearing her body crack, and got up when they officially landed. Walking out and going to get her luggage, she went to get something to eat and a drink She joined the call back to see that Karl was also in the call along with Dream. “Hey guys, I landed.” She spoke up, and she got a response from Callahan first, and Karl soon unmuted, “That’s good, I hope things go well.” He said, while Dream finally unmuted, “I was about to head to bed, but I’m glad you made it safely.” He said, before he muted again going back to whatever it was he was doing. Karl and Y/N spoke for a bit, till she got a message from Tommy saying he was here. 

Leaving the call, she walked out and looked around for the tall teenager, and finally spotted him looking at his phone with his face covered by a mask. “Hello Tommy.” She said, and Tommy looked up from his phone, seeing the girl approach him without a mask, figuring it was because she had food and a drink. Walking over to her, he pulled her into a hug, “Hello Y/N, I can’t wait to brag to George that I met you before him.” He said while the girl rolled her eyes, as someone grabbed her luggage that she was struggling to bring as her hands were full from the drink and food. “I bet.” She said, and they all got into his car, as she was full on jet lagged. “You can sleep, I’ll wake you up when we get there.” The older male spoke up, and she thanked him, closing her eyes to let the sleep consume her. Feeling herself being picked up, she groaned a bit but kept her eyes closed wanting to go back to sleep.

Hearing muffled voices she could decipher some of the sentences, but the rest were just gibberish to her, “Let her sleep, I’ll wake her up when I get back.” She heard someone say, before she fell back asleep. George looked down at the sleeping girl and rolled his eyes, “First day here and she’s already getting treated like a princess.” He muttered under his breath sarcastically, as he had to carry her into the guest room. Getting up and leaving, he couldn’t help but think of what was to come. After 6 hours of hanging out, George walked into his apartment, and was shocked to see Y/N on the couch watching some random movie. “Hello Georgie.” She spoke, and George just looked at her, “Seems like you’ve made yourself at home.” He said walking over to the couch and sat down beside her, keeping his distance. Y/N looked over at him and her lips tugged up into a smirk, “What are you smirking about?” George asked, looking over at her.

“A little birdie told me that you said you’d give me a night to remember.” She told him, and George froze before he looked over at her once more, “I’m going to kill Sapnap.” He said gritting his teeth, and Y/N shrugged, turning her attention to the movie. “Why don’t you give me a night to remember then Georgie? Hm?” George now clenched his jaw as he turned his head grabbing Y/N’s jaw forcefully making her look over at him. “Someone’s being a bit cocky.” George said, and Y/N just looked at him and groaned when George moved his hand down wrapping it around her neck. “Not so cocky now, are we?” He teased, leaning forwards and chuckled into her ear. Y/N was genuinely shocked at how quick he switched. “It’s the first day, and you’re already wanting me to fuck the shit out of you.” He mumbled, and Y/N shivered, letting out a soft whine.

“Don’t act like you don’t want to.” She bit back, and George just looked at her before laughing dryly, “Who said I don’t want to?” He told her, as he grabbed some of her hair, forcing her head to lean back. Tightening his grip around her neck she whimpered out, and closed her eyes, clenching her thighs together. George noticed this and smirked, “Someone’s enjoying this.” He said, and Y/N was about to let out some curses but she bit her tongue to hold herself back. Moving his hand away from her throat, he started unbuckling his belt while Y/N watched him in a daze. “Stop staring and strip.” He demanded and Y/N immediately obeyed, stripping off her clothes. George looked at her body, and he bit his lips, “Come on then.” He said patting his now bare lap and Y/N quickly straddled his lap. 

“Since you’ve been so rude every time we talk, maybe it’s time I fuck some sense into you.” George whispered to her, as he grabbed her hips lifting her up so she could easily slide down onto his dick. “You’re on the pill right?” He asked, and Y/N just nodded her head, before she let out a loud moan at the feeling of George stretching her out. He leaned his head back, letting out a slight groan at the feeling. Tightening his grip on her hips when she tried to, she groaned, “Why?” She whined, and George just leaned forward moving her hair out of the way as he kissed the back of her neck, “You are to stay like this until I feel like fucking you.” He told her, and Y/N shivered at the kiss only listening because she enjoyed this feeling. “Such a good girl, I figured you would be a brat since you act like one.” His voice rang through her mind, and Y/N just whimpered leaning her head back on his shoulder.

“George, please I can’t wait any longer.” She begged, and George just smirked before he lifted her off of him, and threw her on the other side of his couch. Y/N yelped as she was thrown, before she had the chance to raise up George had a hold of her hips making her ass stick up in the air. Pushing down on her back so she was perfectly arching her back, he was holding onto her hips making sure he left bruises. Slamming into her, Y/N moaned out loudly, gripping one of the stray pillows that was near her. Biting her bottom lip, George kept relentlessly pounding into her while Y/N was now a blabbering mess. George enjoyed this as he reached forwards grabbing a handful of her hair and tugged on it. “You look so beautiful like this, so sweaty for me.” He teased, while Y/N just let out an incoherent ‘fuck you’. 

Not liking this, George brought his hand up and slammed it down onto her ass. Letting out a small scream, Y/N felt herself grow closer, and George reached around now toying with her clit. He himself was feeling close to his climax, and Y/N could tell from how sloppy his thrusts were getting. Using the hand that had her hair in it, he moved his hand up grabbing her neck bringing her up so she was against his chest. “Fuck George-” She muttered, leaning her head back against George’s shoulder much like earlier. George gave sloppy kisses along her jawline and neck, as they both let out a loud groan. Y/N mumbled words, and George let out a quick, “Fuck” as they both felt themself cum. Pulling out, George watched as some of it leaked out and onto her thighs.

Wiping away the sweat that was on his forehead, he picked her up, “Have you seen the bathroom?” He asked Y/N, who only shook her head, “You’re about to see it now.” He told her as the two made their way into the bathroom. It had a shower, and a bathtub, “Pick which one.” He told her, and Y/N looked between both and pointed to the tub, “I would’ve chosen the shower if it weren’t for how my legs could give out at any moment.” She whispered embarrassed, and George chuckled as he sat her down on the side of the tub, her feet in the tub. “Let me how you want the water to feel.” He said, turning it on and Y/N waited till it felt good, and she nodded, “That’s good.” She said, as she sunk down into the tub.

George smiled at her, as he went over to the cabinet under the sink to grab the bubble mixture. Pouring some into the water, he watched as Y/N mixed it around which formed bubbles. Sinking down into the water, he brought Y/N over to his body, and let her relax against him. “Don’t tell Dream or Sapnap, they had a bet. I really don’t want to lose.” He said, while Y/N lightly laughed at his words, as he massaged her shoulders. “I’m still going to be here for 3 more months, so they are bound to know it happened at one point.” She shrugged, and George hummed in agreement.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 328: Pandora’s Box of Discourse

Previously on BnHA: DEKU TOOK A BATH.

Today on BnHA: 

Also Naomasa grew a beard. Goddamn. 

please let this be a cool chapter that plays nice with my ADHD lol

(ETA: lol I feel guilty because a lot of people hated this chapter, but I’m just happy there was a lot of stuff to make fun of, and also that I have another week to work on my backlog of meta posts since the kids were MIA.)

around one month ago?? ah, okay, so we’re gonna find out what was in that Tartarus security file huh

I love that they just randomly set the place on fire

was it necessary to do this in order to escape? no. was it a good idea to set the island they were occupying on fire while they were in the midst of still occupying it? uh. was it cinematic as fuck? fuck yeah

wow it’s a pervert!!

that’s so great that the villains set loose this fine fellow who I’m sure is definitely not a serial rapist. truly the LoV is so noble and misunderstood. they’re just trying to free society from its chains people

oh my god??!

SHANKED!!! oh my god I cheered for Stain before I realized what I was doing. time to have an identity crisis I guess

so he’s all “hey what’s going on.” which, while a respectable question, is something I personally would have waited to ask until I had put a bit of distance between myself and the fiery murder island. but that’s just my personal preference

Stain you really are tenacious I’ll give you that

“what’s the point of escaping prison if you’re not gonna be smart about it” well shit. anyways yeah you’re dead right, society is in the process of collapsing and the outside world is in total chaos, good call there

oh shit

I mean it’s not like we really expecting anything otherwise, but still. fucking brutal. I feel like these guys’ fates were decided the minute that one guy called AFO “scum” back in chapter 94. AFO is unmatched at getting long-term revenge

??

ahh, was it the security footage??

fdsdfk he’s still alive??

and he’s immediately launching into an inappropriately theatrical monologue even as the darkness closes in on him fdlfksjdlk. you know, was it ever confirmed that the other guy back in chapter 297 was Seiji’s dad? I’m just saying

very impressed that he’s still coherent enough to weigh the pros and cons before making the decision to gamble on giving this info to Stain, who at the very least has his own moral code and isn’t allied with AFO. it was definitely still a risk, but as we now know it was also the right call

what a weird alliance. so Stain tells him that he’ll give it to a just person, and the guy is all,

okay for real though I’m gonna need someone to run a DNA test on this guy. maybe it was some kind of cuckold situation?? the other guy had the family resemblance, but this guy absolutely 100% raised Shishikura Seiji and you are not going to convince me otherwise

anyway, so Stain is all,

PRISON GUARD: “???? ??????? what the hell. what the fuck does that fucking mean. I’m dying here, jesus christ, whatever man fuck you”

(ETA: I kind of feel like this might have been Stain’s last appearance in the manga, given all the fanfare. there’s not really much else he can do for the story at this point, and he seems to have gotten all the character development Horikoshi was planning on giving him. so if this really is it, hasta la vista and good riddance I guess.)

DWLFDKSLDK MEANWHILE, OUTSIDE

(ETA: I feel like this is meant to be evocative of that Sermon on the Mount painting, but in a really fucked up way lol.)

if it were me stumbling upon this scene I would just shake my head and walk right back into the flaming building. not getting involved in that mess. sorry not sorry. I’ll take my chances with the fire, especially given that it’s half-assed neutered BnHA fire lol

blah blah blah and so he decided to pass the info on to All Might -- HOT DAMN, HOLY SHIT

NAOMASA HOLY SHIT. THE APOCALYPSE LOOKS GOOD ON YOU, BOY

“I really like that facial scruff thing Aizawa’s got going on, I think I’m gonna get in on that” yes sir. “also thinking of ditching the tie in favor of the bulletproof vest look. also thinking of getting totally fucking jacked.” good lord. except I’m pretty sure that’s just body armor, but also I don’t care. anyway I should probably stop staring and actually read the fucking speech bubbles here lol

“All Might first handed this information over to Nao, and then went to see Deku, and then came back to Nao” thanks for that tidy little summary Horikoshi. we are capable of piecing events together in sequential order, I just want you to know that. but thank you

“so has Deku finally gotten a bath? also, sucks that Stain saved the day, but what are you gonna do” Nao I missed you so fucking much and didn’t even realize. how am I just now realizing that you are the perfect man

for a second I was gonna ask why Tartarus’s security systems would be cut off from the outside world, and then I remembered that’s a basic security control, and then I actually got impressed by how sensible that is. like, it’s been a while since I could genuinely say that the good guys (excluding class 1-A) did something smart. not that it helped them much in the end, but still

anyway so they’re talking about how AFO was able to coordinate the attack by communicating between his horcrux self on the outside and his ugly peanut-faced self on the inside

huh

okay you have my attention. I am taking notes here lol please continue

ah okay so he says that prior to Jakku, the transfer of information between him and his Vestige self was only one-way. but post-Jakku when Deku was in the hospital, he was able to tell what was happening inside the OFA Radical Lisa Frank Dead People Book Club Realm when he touched him. I feel like we established that before, actually. but he didn’t talk about how it actually felt, though

boy we already know this lol. yes AFO can talk with his horcrux self. and he can also communicate with his little bro in OFA too, let’s talk about that sometime why don’t we. what exactly does that imply, based on the rules we’ve established here

my god I cannot get over Naomasa and his fucking facial hair

no wonder All Might was in such a hurry to leave Deku and get back here

like I have no idea what this radio waves nonsense is but my god, people

that jawline. also so it’s a quirk, I see. except last I checked Deku didn’t have a radio waves quirk, so that doesn’t really explain his connection to AFO. but whatever, hopefully we’re at least getting closer to some kind of reveal here

(ETA: since I sometimes forget that other people’s lives don’t revolve around my theory posts, here are the two relevant links if you by chance want to know my thoughts about this.

Hagakure is still The U.A. Traitor™ regardless of whether Deku is passing information on to AFO through his psychic link, which he almost certainly is.

speaking of said psychic link, Deku is a horcrux.

just posting these now, because whenever trippy OFA stuff happens I tend to get an influx of theory asks. so hopefully this will be a bit of a time saver lol.)

-- wait, what

THAT’S what the recording was??!? holy SHIT. I genuinely was not expecting that. y’all wiretapped his fucking telepathy. fucking quirks, man. wild

AND THEY USED THAT POWER TO DETERMINE WHAT WE ALREADY KNEW, HUZZAH. GOOD SHOW

-- oh shit wait lol, except I forgot we’re not talking about 38 days from the present, we’re talking about 38 days from the date the conversation was recorded. heh. um

yeah that’s the face I would make too if All Fucking Might just casually told me we had eight days left until the end times

oh, pardon me. three fucking days

r.i.p. anyone who thought we were going to have another band arc sob. I sure hope Deku is enjoying that nap

(ETA: I realize people were hoping for a longer rest period here, but given that the man warned us all the way back in chapter 306 that we were entering the final act, you can’t really blame him too much when that turns out to be true. anyway but I do recognize that we’ve reached the point in the story where this kind of discourse is going to become a weekly occurrence, simply because there’s no possible way for Horikoshi’s actual endgame to line up perfectly with the variable headcanons of millions of fans, all of whom have wildly differing and in many cases contradictory expectations which can’t possibly all be fulfilled. anyway, so I’m already bracing myself for that lol. this coming year is going to be a wild ride.)

damn, U.A. out here looking like the motherfucking United Nations

-- is this U.A.?? I actually just realized, U.A. is four interconnected buildings, not two. wait holy shit is this Shiketsu?

wait holy SHIT

based on the overwhelmingly powerful vibes of bureaucratic incompetence, I’m thinking this really is the (future) U.N., or whatever organization it is that deals with international hero stuff

“just let them handle it themselves I’m sure they’ll be fine” yeah okay, thanks guys. appreciate it

wait oh shit did he say that it’s not just Japan?

soooo, what you’re telling me is that AFO is this close to bringing about the end of not just Japan, but the entire world, and you guys don’t think it’s a good idea to help the Japanese heroes stop him? so, genuine follow-up question: are you guys already planning your rich people exodus into space a la Wall-E, and that’s why you don’t give a fuck?? like, what??

omg international heroes

these guys are from World Hoodie Mission, right? is this Horikoshi’s way of reminding me to buy tickets

(ETA: and it worked too lol.)

WHO??? WHAT???

don’t tell me you’re introducing yet another badass new female character for me to fall in love with only to watch as you dismember them and/or blow them up, Horikoshi. I’m getting tired of playing this game my dude. don’t lie and tell me this time will be different. we’re not doing this again goddammit

noooooooooooooooooooo

god fucking dammit lmao. [sighs and rips the previous paragraph into shreds]

on behalf of Americans I apologize for our superheroes always being Like This

I also apologize because I love her already and I’m gonna be shameless about it. so fucking shameless you guys

is her fucking hair red white and blue. it is, isn’t it

this is the volume cliffhanger, 100% lol. it will take every ounce of Horikoshi’s willpower not to put her on the volume cover. he’ll have to settle for the spine or the inner cover this time because Deku VS his class 1-a superpals takes precedence. but it will be a close thing let me tell you

tbh it’s that smile that does it for me. she’s definitely All Might’s protege. get out there and show them how it’s done girl. and maybe call Salaam and BRD and see if you can’t convince them to play hooky from their governments as well. why not. world’s ending in three days you guys. “sorry, I’m busy this weekend” ain’t gonna cut it lol

so while I am not fully caught up with Vigilantes, I have read far enough to know that there’s an American hero named Captain Celebrity whose superpower from what I recall is being a humongous douchebag. and while I haven’t read far enough to know what happens to this guy, I can’t say I’m very disappointed to learn that he’s no longer the number one hero in the U.S. (actually, didn’t they kick him out and that’s why he moved to Japan to begin with?). anyway, so my thanks to Horikoshi for having a marginally higher opinion of Americans than Furuhashi, even though we have definitely not done anything to warrant said opinion lately, and you may have inadvertently opened the door to a pandora’s box of discourse lmao

(ETA: lol I went into the tags and they don’t disappoint. “why is she dressed like a flag” because she’s an homage to Captain America and Major Victory and literally every other character on this list. again, I apologize for fictional American superheroes being Like This. “oh boy another thicc waifu to make the fanboys happy” look, tumblr fandom never seems to have a problem thirsting over Dabi or Tomura or Aizawa or Nao, lol, I’m just saying. “where is Captain Celebrity” idk, probably murdered by the exploding bee cartel, let’s just be grateful for our good fortune and try not to Beetlejuice the man.)

anyway, so let’s see if Horikoshi’s recent character development with regards to making Mineta not terrible anymore will apply to other aspects of his writing as well. I know I was making light of discourse just now, but I do think the complaints about him introducing yet another new character at the 11th hour to be cannon fodder in the final battle are absolutely valid. and again, it wouldn’t be a problem if he didn’t keep maiming/killing off his female characters one by one instead of developing them and letting them kick ass long-term. but that said, I will never complain about Horikoshi adding another female character to the series, regardless of how clumsy the attempt may be. go ahead and pander away, just give us more girl power lol

anyway so we’ll see how it goes, but I think I’m gonna be optimistic and let myself hope once again, even though I’m probably gonna regret it lol. it is what it is. she is standing on an airplane just chilling for fuck’s sake. I’m only human. anyway fingers crossed

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Mon 14 June ‘21

Louis Tomlinson Cooks is here!! Yeah it’s 100% for sure as delightful to watch Louis make himself a sandwich as you might have hoped, but how was his cooking? Well I’ll let Louis rate himself-- “I’m not gonna lie not that appetizing is it, I mean look at it,” he says when it comes time to taste his creation, plus, “chopping peeling slicing not great to be fair- everything else I’m all right” (he’s… not wrong, even aside from the peeler issues has this man ever held a knife??) but- “it probably tastes nice though as I said it’s not about presentation for me… [munches cutely]... it’s actually pretty banging, that’s actually quite nice!” Success! Maybe it’s cause he knows the secret to faking good cooking- “as you can see I don’t have a lot of cooking ability so the more butter the better,” I mean the experts can tell you, that’s advanced stuff right there! #Louis-aChild! Substituting mustard and ketchup for coleslaw is a bit of a bold move, but in a belated attempt to convince the kiddos to eat some healthy veg even though he won’t he does bravely try the cucumber strips despite being “not really a man for cucumber” and makes a pained attempt to be positive- “bit of crunch.” Oh and speaking of crunch I’m relieved to have learned that the waffle is NOT a waffle, it’s a crispy waffle shaped bit of potato; a much more reasonable fish sandwich addition than the American version of a potato waffle! Full Time Meals polled to see what people think of Louis cooking; the two choices are “it was amazing” and “the best,” THEY GET IT. My kind of Louis poll! Helen Seamons rated him a “10/10 for effort and entertainment”, Masterchef acknowledged Louis as one of their own, and Marcus Rashford keeps it simple- “my guy” with a lil heart. YEAH, SAME.

Harry showed up in Italy, where he was papped in Venice being driven around (with PA Luis) on a boat (as you do, in Venice). He’s in a cool embroidered Bode shirt and shades and fancy hair, looking good. He’s seen carrying his suitcase, taking photos, and resting his head on his arms looking like a model. One might think, since we just saw the My Policeman cast and crew on set celebrating the wrap of the shoot, that they were done filming and Harry was off to do something different, but nope, he’s there to film! The book has key scenes in Venice that folks had been wondering about the filming of, and David Dawson is also being boated around Venice for the paps, so, it seems that was just for the wrap of the *UK* filming, which makes sense I guess since it would mostly be different crew I imagine, and perhaps some of the main cast are done as well.

Liam’s NFT sale is happening tomorrow! If you’re confused and want more info, I’M NOT GONNA HELP THAT MUCH… uh but I mean you can check out Liam’s youtube video explaining though I would guess that won’t help much (even Liam thinks so; “there’s probably websites that explain a lot better than me” he admits). There is a roundup now posted of what’s on offer for the buyers of the NFTs but I’m gonna be really honest with you, I’m more confused now than I was before. It’s clear that there are only SIX LONELY BUG NFTs right? They for sure said that I believe. But the packages for each different piece (token bundles) seem to me like they’re available to multiple buyers? Like maybe you don’t get the NFT but multiple top bidders on each get the extras? Like they can’t be selling multiple copies of the NFT... can they?! Isn’t the WHOLE POINT that only one person gets to own it? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW I AM SORRY. What I think I understand to be true: the six NFT buyers get to go to “a once-in-a-lifetime immersive dining experience at Resorts World Las Vegas” (this is the dinner with Liam and “a selection of crypto leaders from around the world” which takes place on display inside a giant glass box) and also “a bespoke commemorative presentation box containing the world’s leading holographic display... with audio... and a custom made Lonely Bug commemorative coin,” and “a unique QR code directing the owner to a special ‘Director’s Cut’ edit of the short digital film ‘Making Of Lonely Bug Collection’ which features unreleased footage from the day of the drop showing the creators' reactions when the winning bids came in” (I mean YEAH I would think it’s unreleased it literally hasn’t happened?) But then there are really a lot of other extras including tickets with Meet & Greet access to any Liam Payne headline show around the world, admission to pool and cinema parties in Vegas with Liam, signed art, non-Liam extras (I will literally bid to NOT have 20 minute phone calls with those crypto entrepreneurs PLEASE… but that’s just me), and access to an online party hosted by Liam; I really get the impression many of these, especially the last one, are just crypto tokens that are for sale that aren’t linked to the main Lonely Bug NFTs and many more than 6 people can buy them but a lot of the extras I’m not clear on which it is. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll understand better WE WILL SEE.

Liam also dropped by the discord last night to say some hellos (after a “long long day”) and that he “bought a piece of NFT art of myself tonight I’m going to give it as a prize Monday night so someone can own a piece of art that was owned by me” (an even less tangible bragging point than simply owning an NFT wow that’s an achievement) and the most important update- “I want a French Bulldog”! Oh and he said “that’s like one I did myself” in his fanart channel to a pic of a tiny crocheted illustration of Louis and Harry holding up a rainbow flag. Didya Liam?? (...Liam is crocheting??) Anyway I recognize who it’s supposed to be because it’s based on a familiar piece of fanart, but Liam definitely might NOT realize it’s meant to be someone specific, and tbh I’m more <eyeballs> at him saying that at the rainbow flag crocheted thing than at it being shippy.

Our Song acoustic version is out this Friday!! And Niall talked about NH3 some in an interview today; “I’m in the studio most days, it feels really good. I’m kinda in the latter stages of it and then I’ll go get a band together and go in and record the whole thing. I’ve just kind of been writing for the past 9 or 10 months and really enjoying it” and “It sounds like a complete album. God knows when it’s coming out because I’d like to be able to get around the world to see all the fans as well” and “It’s different. It sounds a lot more grown up. I’m 27 so it’s about time. I really wanted to kinda cement a sound. The singles I’ve released previously have all been kinda different sounds. I would like to have my ballad sound & like a cemented uptempo sound.” He and Anne Marie also talked about one of the other songs they wrote together saying, “It’s kind of like a, how do you describe it- guitar driven meets Tom Petty meets Katy Perry meets…” but say “We haven’t really decided if we are putting it out yet, the conversations are kinda happening... but it’s completely different (from Our Song).”

[rjhpandapaws]

Canon hankcon, "birthday" for the prompt, and that's all I'm giving you lmao. Whose birthday? Party or no acknowledgement? Homemade cake with haphazard candles or storebought fancy pants cake? How many birthday kisses from Sumo? I dunno you tell me.

//:3

It wasn’t any particular news that Hank didn’t enjoy his birthday much anymore. It might have been the grief but he had a hard time remembering a time before Cole when he did. It was old news to everyone it seemed except Connor who was waiting by his desk the morning of with a box in his hands. “Connor, what is that?” He asked as he moved to sit at his desk. “It’s a birthday present Hank.” Connor set the small box on his desk, “Isn’t it a human custom to celebrate them?” Hank bit off the annoyed sigh and reminded himself that Connor didn’t know better, “Most people do. When you’re young making it another year is kind of a big deal, but when you get to my age its just a reminder of how many opportunities you’ve missed.” Connor fell onto red for a moment and Hank regretted his words, “Do you want me to take it back?” His LED flickered as he did something in that head of his. “No.” Hank shook his head, “I appreciate it Connor, it was just a surprise. I’m not used to people caring after I spent years asking them not to.” Connor narrowed his eyes as he moved to sit as his desk, “I know now, so it won’t happen again.” This time Hank sighed, “Connor, its okay, I promise.” Connor still didn’t believe him from the looks of it, and Hank hated that he was right. He knew Connor meant well, but they were dancing around an unknown something and every time Connor would do something like this it reminded Hank that the android could do so much better. When he finally climbed out of his own head Hank noticed Connor had gotten to work. His LED was yellow which meant he was thinking about something too, but Hank didn’t have the nerve to ask. He looked down at the small precisely wrapped box and what it was that Connor had decided was worth getting him.

He opened the box as quietly as he could, he didn’t want to pull Connor out of his focus, the brunette hated that. The last thing he expected was concert tickets, they were rested on top of a neatly folded t-shirt. The tickets were for a holographic performance by Frank Sinatra. He set them aside and took out the t-shirt and found it was a signed Knight of The Black Death shirt, it was from one of their older tours and had only been up for bid. He didn’t know how Connor had found it or how much he had paid for it but he knew neither of them had been cheap. “Connor.” He said firmly. Connor came back to himself and tilted his head in question, “You know birthday gifts are supposed to be simple right?” “Yes.” Connor responded, “But they are also supposed to be something you enjoy, and I figured that this would have been better than simple. Jazz is something I know you enjoy, I would have done Knights of The Black Death but they aren’t currently touring.” “So you bought two tickets to one of the best jazz clubs in Detroit and won a bit on an auction only shirt.” Hank remarked. “Yes, I figured you could take a friend with you.” Connor continued, “I figured you would have more fun that way, the shirt took a while to get, but that’s the perk of not needing sleep.” Hank bit back a groan and found himself smiling nonetheless. He didn’t deserve this kind of effort and certainly not from Connor. Not to mention that Connor had seemed to greatly over estimate the number of friends he had. Other than Connor and possibly Jeff he really didn’t know who would want join him. According to the date on the tickets he had until that evening to decide.

He tucked the tickets back into the box and did what he could to focus on his work. His mind kept tracking back to how much thought Connor had put into this, some stupid day of the year to commemorate the mistake that was his life. That Connor had found their friendship for lack of a better word worth burning a few paychecks on. It baffled him. On some level he understood that not many people viewed him in the same light he viewed himself, but the fact that Connor of all people saw him as worth this much effort never failed to knock him off kilter. The day was thankfully slow, his head wasn’t in the right place for case work as it was, he wouldn’t have been able to handle a live one. He was pulled back to attention when Connor began to pack up his things for the day. Hank still needed to talk to him about the jazz club. God, how long had it been since he had asked someone on a date? Could this really even be considered a date if Connor was the one that bought the tickets? “Your vitals say you are distressed Hank. Is there something I can do to help?” Connor was standing with his blazer over his arm, it was a charcoal grey number he had picked out to replace the branded one. “Ah no. I was just thinking too much.” He said, here went nothing he supposed, “Would you like to go with me tonight? To the jazz club?” He didn’t miss the small smile that flashed across Connor’s features before he replied, “I would love too.” Hank nodded as relief crashed over him, “Think you could be ready by eight thirty?” “Of course.” Connor agreed, “I’ll see you then Hank.” He gave a polite wave before he turned to leave. Hank was grinning at his monitor like a damn fool.

He got home with just around two hours to get ready and realized he had nothing to wear that would hold a candle to how Connor would probably wind up looking. He dressed sharply despite being a plain clothes detective so it was certain he would be dressed to the nines for this too. He dug through his closet like a damn teenager looking for something that would fit and look nice. He needed to shower as well but that could wait until after he found something to wear that would be presentable. He decided on black jeans at the very least because he couldn’t be paid to wear slacks even for a maybe date. Then it was on to looking for a shirt which took longer than he would have liked. He eventually settled for a dark teal button down that he didn’t remember ever buying but was thankful to have nonetheless. The shower came next since he did have time, and after that it was just a matter of getting himself to look presentable. He shaved figuring it was time the beard went anyway and then tied his hair back in a half ponytail to keep it out of his face. He debated his glasses for a long moment before he put them on, he technically needed them all the time but he only used them at home to give his eyes a break. Satisfied with the way he looked, he fed Sumo, grabbed his leather jacket, and headed for the car. If he was lucky he would only be a little late to pick up Connor. Hank was not in anyway ready for the way Connor was dressed. He had changed his hair to loose curls and an undercut. He was in a maroon button down under a grey suit vest with black slacks. He was absent of a tie and the first couple buttons of the shirt were undone, and he looked nervous. When he saw Hank his LED rolled yellow and blinked a few times and Hank could have sworn it was red for one of them, but just as quick as it happened it was back to blue. His smile was back in place as he walked to the car.

“You clean up nicely Hank.” Connor said with what Hank was going to take a as a friendly smile because if he looked too much into how Connor had looked at him he was going to combust, “The glasses are a nice touch.” Hank let out a dry laugh, “Only you would find not being able to see attractive.” Connor let out a sound that was distinctly inhuman but still very clearly flustered, “I didn’t- that’s not- its-” He sighed, “That’s not to say that I don’t find you attractive normally.” There was a long stretch of silence after that then Connor seemed to realize what he had said and his LED strobed red. The car was alight with his very clear distress, “Could we maybe pretend that I didn’t just say that.” Hank chuckled lightly, “Of course. It will be just like it never happened.” Of course Hank planned to keep the memory for himself. It confirmed that he hadn’t been imagining whatever this unspoken thing was between them. It was unfortunate that it seemed that for now it would stay unspoken. At least he knew glasses at the very least were the key to getting under Connor’s skin. Maybe he could wear them to the station every once in a while. “For what it’s worth Con, you clean up pretty nice as well.” Hank remarked earning another smile from Connor. “I was worried I might be over dressed.” Connor admitted, “I’ve never been to one of these places before so I wasn’t sure what the dress code was.” Hank shook his head as he pulled into the parking lot, “You look just fine, I promise. If anything, I might be a little underdressed.”

“I think you look nice.” Connor said almost under his breath. Hank didn’t know if it was meant for him to hear, but he responded anyway, “Thanks.” He doesn’t get anymore response than Connor’s index finger cutting into his line of sight, “There’s a parking space four spaces up and to the left.” Hank hummed his acknowledgement and pulled into the space once they got to it. He checked to be sure he had the tickets and then got out. Connor followed suit. They were close enough to bump shoulders as they walked to the doors and Hank couldn’t stop the smile on his lips even if he had been paid. It might not have been a date officially, but that didn’t stop it from feeling like it. There was just something in the air that made it feel that way. After they were admitted Connor took his hand and lead him to a corner table with a clear view of the stage. They were early, there was still about twenty minutes before the opening act so the good tables were almost full. Like the parking space Hank chalked it up to Connor’s keen observation, he always was a few steps ahead of Hank it seemed. “Is this alright?” Connor asked his voice was void of its usual confidence. “Its perfect Connor.” Hank reassured, “There’s nothing to be worried about.” “You seemed upset with this idea earlier.” Connor said without looking at him. He was turned in a way that Hank couldn’t see his LED, “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” “Hey.” Hank said sharply which caused Connor to look at him and like Hank had suspected his LED was on red, “I was just surprised. Its been... quite a while since someone had put that much thought into a gift. I love it Connor, and if I’m honest I’m still trying to convince myself that this all is real.”

Connor’s LED flickered and Hank knew he was being scanned. Under any other circumstance he would have found it frustrating but he got the feeling Connor was just as out of his depth as Hank was. He needed to know that Hank was being honest and Hank could give him that much. He apparently found what he was looking for because he smiled. “Then I suppose its a good thing I did.” Connor said after a moment, “Someone has to remind you that you matter.” Hank let out a dry laugh, “Damn Connor, usually you buy a man a drink before you get to the sweet talking.” It was a deflection and a poor one at that if the way Connor narrowed his eyes was anything to go by, “Hank.” “Right, no self deprecating comments.” Hank grumbled, “Do they even have android friendly drinks here. I probably should have thought about that sooner.” “They do, don’t worry.” Connor informed, “But even then, tonight isn’t about me.” Hank’s response was cut off by Connor narrowing his eyes once again, “How about we order a couple of drinks before the show starts.” Connor smiled, “That sounds nice.” Hank took his jacket off and rested it on the table to mark it as taken. Connor stood as well and they headed to the bar together. They were bumping shoulders again and Hank was tempted to take his hand again, but he didn’t. When Connor had taken his hand it was so they wouldn’t get separated by the crowd had settled down for the most part in anticipation for the show. Connor stepped up to the bar to order, “Could we get an Old Fashioned and a Thirium Sunset please?”

Hank wasn’t nearly as surprised that Connor knew what he liked to drink as he was at the fact that he had ordered an alcoholic drink for himself, or at least the android equivalent. The bartender seemed surprised as well but got to work on both drinks. “I didn’t know you drank.” Hank found himself saying. “I don’t usually.” Connor admitted, “But its not very gentlemanly to let your date drink alone.” Hank blue screened at that, he was relatively certain Connor meant it as a turn of phrase but he still hung on the word. Connor was smiling, he seemed glad to catch Hank off guard. The night after that passed in a haze of good music and better and conversation. Hank still had to drive so he stopped after two drinks, but the more Connor had the closer he moved and by the end of the night Connor’s usual perception of personal space was little more than a myth. Hank found he didn’t mind. When it came time to leave Connor’s balance was off so Hank put on of his arms over his shoulder and half packed Connor out of the jazz club. Connor tried his best to walk so it wasn’t as much dragging him as he thought it would be. “You have like, really pretty eyes.” Connor said out of the blue when they were nearly to the car, “They are very expressive.” Hank laughed, “Thank you Con.” He found himself wondering if androids could suffer from hangovers but he found himself sympathetic just in case. He got Connor in the car and belted in which wasn’t all that much of a feat, it seemed the cold air had helped him recover some. He was quiet on the way home, and if it weren’t for the fact that his eyes were roaming around the car Hank would have believed him to be in stasis.

“I think I’m back to normal now.” Connor said as Hank pulled into his complex, “Sorry about that.” Hank just chuckled, “Everyone gets that way when they find a drink they like. On top of that I’m pretty sure its your first time drinking. Getting like that is basically a right of passage.” “I could have at least picked a day other than your birthday to get like this.” Connor sighed as he looked down. Hank found a place to park and reached out to ruffle Connor’s hair, “It was nice to see you let loose for once. Tonight was nice.” Connor smiled, “I’m glad then.” If Hank were to be asked about this, he planned to blame it on his drinks, even if he and Connor both knew it was a lie. It was an out both of them could take if they decided this was a mistake, but it wasn’t enough to stop him from leaning in. The kiss he gave Connor was chaste and not much more than a brush of lips. The one Connor chased it with was the exact opposite and Hank found himself breathless when Connor pulled away. “I’ll see you tomorrow Lieutenant.” He said with a wink as he got out, “Happy Birthday.” Hank watched him walk into the building still waiting for his brain to come back online. Of all the ways he expected tonight to end, this was not one of them. Happy Birthday indeed.

@irrelevantbutfabulous

(Prompt from this list)

[silverbyuls]

( lee hyeri, cis female, muse i ) oh snap! is that SHIN EUNBYUL they work over at high volume where some of the other employees have labeled them as THE AVERAGE JOE. that’s probably because they can be a bit ( optimistic. ) but also pretty ( dishonest. ) they’re TWENTY TWO and they’ve been living in woodstock for TWENTY TWO YEARS. it must be their shift because i totally hear THE CRANBERRIES blasting from the record store. ( a little tikes piggy bank tucked under the bed, clothing label sticking out from the back, snap clips with varnish peeling off, jelly shoes with the strap taped together, leaving lisa frank stickers along record crates ) @volumeupdates

BIO

the luke hemsworth of the family but middle child

goes by byul

tried to go by ‘e.b.’ but her mum went berserk because she’d reduced her name to two letters for the ease of her yt friends and her brother bullied her for being e.t’s ugly sister so now she tries to go by silver star (her name translated into english) but it doesn’t quite stick

claims that her older sister and younger brother stole all her beauty, brain cells and height

family invested everything into older sister so she could go to college in new york: savings, loans, moved to smaller house which is even further from the town centre

brother requires all attention as he has high hopes of getting into college on a baseball scholarship and she lowkey can’t wait until he’s far away from woodstock

her grades have always been average so no one expects her to leave – her parents talk about how nice it is that she’ll be with them forever but she knows that’s because they want her to take care of them when they’re old … which she would! if they didn’t live in woodstock

she tells them she’s going to move to california, but they think she’s as serious about that as she is about wanting to go to college, or becoming supermodel of the world, or an olympic swimmer, when she has average grades, of average height, and can’t even swim

if her life was a movie, she’d have fallen asleep in the first ten minutes – it has always been so boring and uneventful, so she lives up in her head with her fake scenarios to keep things interesting – most of the time, they’re taken straight from a book or magazine

sometimes these thoughts spill over into reality because she can’t fathom the idea of people realising she’s as plain as she is, and her little white lies give her a bit of sparkle to stand out (in her opinion)

but she will get to california!

she even has a plan:

she’s been working at freddy’s diner since she was fifteen, escaping to high volume whenever she can, a place where she can pop her headphones on during her breaks and pretend she’s getting ogled at on venice beach, but she’s terrible at saving so seven years later she’s still grinding

once she graduates high school, she has enough time for a second job and she’d dropped enough hints in front of jerry for him to kindly offer her a job. after all, she spends as much time in high volume as she does at freddy’s so there’s not much of a difference once she becomes an employee -- still floating around the place, sipping on her coke can, either people watching or people chasing -- except now she has access to the register

after a big argument with her parents, she ended up moving out into a place in the middle of town. that was never part of the plan because saving was easier when she lived at home. she’ll say things got really bad but really, she was just getting closer to her target and she wanted a valid reason to put it off for a bit longer

she was only supposed to do it once – stealing from the cash register. it was just right there, no one was around, and she thought it was going to be her last shift because jerry was angry at her for being late again (granted, he hadn’t actually been mad, but it was one of those days when everything felt personal)

besides, she’d overheard a group of girls she’d idolised in school talk about how they stole some underwear and they made it sound so cool

she felt like everyone could hear her heart thumping against her chest as she walked out of the store but the day after, no one said anything about it, no one even noticed, and she wasn’t fired. so she did it again, and again, and again, and eventually she didn’t even bat an eyelid

the extra money was supposed to help her reach her goal faster but, again, she’s terrible at saving and her parents are so hardworking, she can’t help but feel guilty and buy nice things for them every once in a while and when they ask where she got the money from, she lies and says jerry gave her a bonus for being a good employee

on the other hand, if they’ve had an argument, or they’ve forgotten about her again, she’ll have a full on les-mis-i-dreamed-a-dream episode then splurge out on a cute jacket because it’s hers and it’s new! rather than worn out hand-me-downs from her sister or brother!

started her own side hustle called the separation agency – inspired after a customer at high volume asked her to help him break up with his boyfriend. so she’s the messenger for people who have things to say but don’t have the balls to say it to someone’s face themselves. usually they’re horrible messages, like break ups. she’s had like three customers and tries to promote her side hustle whilst on her shift at high volume

she thinks her “business” could actually thrive in a bigger city which is just another reason why she needs to get out of woodstock – it’s holding her back!

anyway, jerry’s missing, which is perfect for her because she gets to come in late and not get told off, and maybe steal a little more than she usually does

PERSONALITY:

when she’s around people, she seems like an extrovert: bubbly, talkative, dramatic ... which uses up a lot of her energy and her social battery is weak, so needs her own space often, and likes doing nothing by herself so sometimes she’ll lie to get out of plans or bail last minute 

she has big dreams, and talks about all her big plans, but has leaving anxiety which is why she’s shit at saving and makes up excuses as to why she can’t leave just yet 

has main character syndrome -- likes to live her life as a romcom, most of her lies revolve around her love life because she wants to be seen as desirable, but also will overanalyse everything 

sensitive, passionate, immature, sympathetic, fickle, clumsy, dramatic, caring, head in clouds

will pretend to knows things to fit in like ~hipster~ bands or anything really, depends on the crowd

could gladly spend all day talking to customers at work then the next day she’ll prefer to day dream in the storage room

rides a bike to and from work and almost everywhere else too -- the only one out of her siblings who had to bike to school because small car and siblings took up all the space -- she’s had the same bike since high school 

loves spice girls but feels like she’ll be judged so keeps quiet and plays it when she’s closing

honestly could hate you one day and have a crush on you the next but you wouldn’t even know it -- a vicious cycle 

collects stickers and leaves them everywhere and on everyone - often passive aggressive through them, basically uses them like emojis

will try to order food and get others to pay for it - especially kfc, never gets to eat the drumsticks at home so will honestly cry if people steal the drumsticks from her

buys lottery tickets and scratch cards because she has a 50/50 chance of winning

WANTED CONNECTIONS: (current connections)

start up: stolen str8 from a kdrama that ruined my life hehe her parents set her up with a pen pal to keep her busy out of guilt because they’re so busy with her siblings and work and obviously she romanticises it !!! her parents would’ve asked to lie a little bit, just so she’d be writing to someone she’d easily obsess over -- love island vc: someone who ticks all the boxes 

xoxo gossip girl: someone who loves a good gossip sesh -- they probably send 👀 at each other across the store when things feel a bit tense, which is code for ‘meet me in the storage room’ so they can chat away for the rest of their shift

lunch stealer: she makes her own lunch every day and is extremely protective over it but one day it went missing and she knows it was them (maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t) so now they are her sworn enemy

sister’s/brother’s friend: therefore an automatic enemy

shut up: someone who just tells her to shut up because she chats so much shit and she’s insane - just sandra x dina vibes from superstore (x)

carpool karaoke: she hates cycling in when it’s raining, so either she’s trying to get them to be her designated driver or has already succeeded and is annoying about it

crush #1: someone she has a crush on (more of an infatuation) and they’re not interested in her in the slightest but in her head they’re giving her mixed signals and she has made up a fake boyfriend to try to make them jealous

crush #2: someone she thinks has a crush on her. either because they’re nice or tease her or just mean, it doesn’t matter, she’s insane so she’ll interpret it however she wants

ex: they never broke up, or even dated, but she thinks something almost happened between them and she thinks she cut things off by giving them space

separation agency: someone who once used the agency either out of the kindness of their heart or for a different reason entirely and now she won’t stop pestering them to try and get them to use it again

no thots just vibes: i just like this gifset tbh (x) and we can brainstorm ! 

[popculturebuffet]

Goof Week: Sports Goofy in SoccerMania: GoofTales Woo-oo! (Paid For for WeirdKev27)

Gorsh all you happy people and welcome back to Goof Week, my Weeklong Celebration of everyone’s favorite goofus. 

And today we have a special treat, something nice and obscure but something that still has a vital place in Disney History. Welcome folks to Sports Goof in Soccermania!  

So yesterday in my Goof Troop review I wished there had been another DuckTales episode with Goofy, you know maybe find out what happened to Peg, see Max and Roxanne again that sort of thing.  Whelp SOMEONE must’ve hid a Monkey’s Paw around here somewhere because I got this special instead on comision. This is a VERY intresting little artifact as it came out only 4 months before DuckTales, was produced around the same time, and was written by Tad Stones, who would both go on to work on DuckTales and even more importantly create Darkwing Duck. 

Not only that but it has some odd things attached to it: it’s the first major production starting Scrooge, as he had an educational short about him, the first animated appearance of the Beagle Boys and most important the FIRST time Russi Taylor would voice Huey, Dewey and Louie, something she’d do till her passing a few years ago. At the time of this article she has not been recast, though I personally vote for Cristina Valenzuela, who took over the role of Young Donald and frankly does such a good job with that voice I didn’t know if Russi had already recorded lines for Season 3 before her passing. 

So what IS Sports Goofy in Soccermania you ask? It was a TV Special from 1987, again four months before DuckTales, that was later sold on VHS. My guess is Disney intended for this to become a regular thing like the Charlie Brown or Garfield specials, but my honest guess is with DuckTales MASSIVE success they wanted to put all the TV Animation resources into making more shows to go with it. The fact the special is essentailly a Scrooge story with Goofy in it and Scrooge and the Boys were now tied up in DuckTales probably helped the decision. So we only got one of these and i’m proud to share it for Goof Week. So join me under the cut to see what a Sports Goof is, what Scrooge sounds like without Alan Young or David Tennant andto see me refrence the film UHF because I likes it. 

 So we open with the titles which are neat and then open at the Money bin, we even get a great sign gag that looks like something Carl Barks would write.

So Scrooge greets his nephews the way he greets everybody.. with a canon to the face... though he backs of firing once he realizes it’s them. The boys ALL wear red this special so .. I guess Huey won and now rules all three bodies with an iron fist? So the Huey Hive Mind asks Scrooge for a donation, a standard Scrooge setup, ask the rich asshole for money, as their trying to help the local soccer program and they need a buck fiddy for a trophy. 

Scrooge’s voice here.. is terrible. I do not like to bash voice actors, they are hard working talented people who do a lot of great stuff, often for less pay than they deserve, and this blog ALWAYS makes that painfully clear. And Will Ryan is not without talent: While he hasn’t done much i’m familiar with he did play Petrie in Land Before Time and was great in it. So while I don’t dislike him as a person.. he did an utterly DREADFUL Scrooge. He dosen’t really attempt to do a scottish accent despite the character still saying cannae at one point, and as for what accent he is going for...

His Scrooge just sounds like someone trying to do a “foreign” accent and failing. It just sounds weird and makes every bit of his dialouge aside from one a chore to sit through. And the dialouge isn’t bad dialouge, it’s a well written and animated Scrooge even with the lower budget than Ducktales, but the voice just ruins it for me. Even without Young and Tennant to compare it to this just blows and the fact it’s paired up with the iconic Russi Taylor voice for the triplets.

This being Scrooge he instead fishes a Trophy out of the bin that’s all banged up and dinky and shoos them out. So in natural Barksian fashion the trophy turns out to be worth a million dollars. So we get some reaction shots.. INCLUDING GRANDMA DUCK!

For DuckTales fans joining us who have ZERO idea who that is, since she sadly did not make it into the reboot and Frank did have ideas, Grandma Duck is Donald, Della and Gladstone’s grandma. She’s a sweet old country woman who lives on a farm and is in fact the one who sold him Kilmotor HIll, with her husband renaming it from Killmule hill. I like her a lot since she reminds me of my own grandma and like her she still works when she can. Donald’s cousin Gus loafs around and eats as her farmhand. As you can tell I like her a lot, agani because she reminds me of one of my grandmas so this was nice even if she was only around for 20 seconds of screentime. 

This ends up in the paper and sends Scrooge through the roof, literally when he finds out. 

Two notes  before we move on: The bin has a unique really cool design , though I get why other productions haven’t used it: besides this one’s obscurity while cool it just looks a bit TOO nice for Scrooge. Even in 2017 while still damn cool looking it still looks practicle. This .. is not that.

This looks like MC Hammer built this. It still looks awesome bu tit’s just not Scrooge sadly. 

The other is that his Butler is named Jeeves here, but looks almost exactly like Duckworth. Just feels weird is all. 

Naturally the Beagle Boys happen upon the paper too and their leader, no name given has a plan: Enter legitmately and win the cup all legal like, which dosen’t sound like it lives up to the beagle code of no hones twork.... until he brings up theri going ot cheat their asses off. 

Meanwhile Scrooge tries bribing the boys with a giant trophy at their house... with Donald oddly absent despite Anselmo having taken over for Nash by this point. I know he was still a bit rough at the roll, but come on. It’s just.. weird especailly for reasons i’ll get into soon. 

So Scrooge agrees to sponsor the boys teams so he can get the trophy back square, and is forced to buy a knew ball and here we FINALLY get Goofy. I say finally because this special is 20 mintues long and it takes almost a fourth of it for him to arrive. It’s just weird for him to not be in it for so long. I mean I don’t want THIS

Flashbeagle didn’t take a fourth of the special to get to Flashbeagle. It did take longer than that to get to the title track but when your sitting on THIS

You gotta use it JUST right. Goofy here is not played by Bill Farmer, which IS odd as he did start playing him that year, but my guess is they weren’t sure if they were going with Farmer or the actor who played him in this special, Tony Pope, so they were trying out both as whoever DID get the role would have it for life. Disney takes the casting of the sensational 7 VERY seriously, as evidenced by the fact most cast changes are caused by death and unlike with Tony and Donald it’s clear Colvig hadn’t picked a succesor. I can also see why it’s a hard choice: while farmer IS excellent and was the right man for the job, Pope is still excellent in the role, bringing the warmth and energy you’d expect from Goofy and having excellent comedic timing that’s vital to getting the dog man right. I can see why this was such a hard choice, even if I also see they went with Farmer: Farmer just has slightly more energy to the roll. It’s a small diffrence and something that dosen’t effect the special, but it is a KEY diffrence and the reason Bill’s THE goofy to me even over his original voice actor Pinto Colvig. 

Also I may of mispoke there... see it’s not Goofy in this special it’s SPORTS Goofy. No really every bit of dialogue refers to him as Sports Goofy. It’d be like if they refered to then CEO Micheal Eisner as Won’t Think Through Eurodisneyland Micheal Eisner. 

So Sports Goofy helps them get a ball in an honestly awesome way and shows despite his clumsy manner, he’s damn cordinated, easily putting everything up and showing some real skill with the ball. So Moneygrubbing Scrooge decides Sports Goofy is his ticket to get the trophy back and recuits goofy as coach and star player for the boys team. 

So Asshole Scrooge meets his team the Greenbacks.. which are a bunch of random animal characters with no real personality. They are a hippo, a goat, expresso the ostrich, a navy (blue) seal,  an elephant in a beanie, a killaroo and a cheetah or leopard. But I have one question, really simple really easy one...

You need 11 players for a soccer team, thank you google. So they DID get that accurate. With Goofy and the Triplets you only need 7 more. THIS is why Donald’s absence is glaring: he’s just oddly not there when they needed 7 other characters but Elephant in a Beanie gets in there. And it’s not hard ot fill either: Donald , Daisy (Because duh), Gyro and Grandma Duck (Because both cameoed but I only mentioned Grandma Duck, though this is ALSO Gyro’s first apperance), Gladstone (who as it turns out had a cameo storyboarded that didn’t make it into the final product), Gus (Since grandma duck) and Scrooge’s butler since he was in an earlier scene anyway so why waste the character model. They could still play the same roll as easily steamrolled underdogs and it’d make more sense.  It just baffles me that with such a deep bench to play from, they don’t use ANY OF IT in favor of the cast of Animal Soccer World.

The Greenbacks can’t play for greenjack, which worries Scrooge.. but Goofy is able to carry them to the finals, while the Beagle Boys make their way there too. We find this out.. via newspaper transition. We get a bunch of headlines telling us what happened instead of you know a montage because that costs money and they already spent 1.50 making this special.. they only have 50 cents left. 

So the Beagles recognizing Sport Goofy is the only thing in their way plots a kidnappin. We get a gut busting scene of the beagles all hiding in Sports Goofy’s house with him being oblvious only to spring on him. 

The next day with Sports Goofy a no show the team is bummed, even mor ewhen they find a kidnapping note from Don’tGetNotToLeaveEvidence Beagle Boys. Seriously give that to the officals. 

So Asshole Scrooge tries to give a rousing speech... and it is a sight to behold and the one highlight of pope as scrooge... it’s why I picked it as the article image. That glitching isn’t me by the way: it REALLY does that. Coupled with the yellow eyes i’ts just fantastic. So the team decides to morosely play the game and Hivemind Huey boos scrooge for not having faith in him. Instead of again you know telling the officials. Maybe assimilating the other made Huey dumber. I

So the game begins and the Cheating Beagles cream the Give Up To Easily Green Backs, while Sports Goofy watches from the other Crime Beagles hideout. It honestly reminds me of UHF: a dumb well meaning guy whose vital to something succeding is kidnapped.. it dosen’t involve Weird Al dressing up as rambo but still. It also makes me want UHF but with the disney cast. Fethry as weird al, Donald as his best friend, Fethry’s girlfriend for the comcis as weird al’s girlfriend, Gyro as philo, Goofy as Stanley, and Pete of course is Stacey Keach. I could go on but you get the point. Someone draw this.  Sport Goofy is a clever bastard and escapes by working one of his shoes off, taking a nearbye knife and cutting himself free.. and almost stabbing a beagle boy in the face but that would just make two. Sport Goofy escapes and the lunkheaded beagle boys chase after him IN THEIR CAR WHILE GOOFY RUNS AHEAD OF IT.  Goofy, he can really move! Goofy, he’s got attitude! Goofy HE’S THE FASTEST THING ALLIIIIVEEEEEE. Sport Goofy makes it in time fo rhalf time, rallies the troops and it goes how you’d expect: They overcome the beagles blatant cheating, win the cup, the beagles attempt to cheat with a rigged ball backfires and they all get arrested. It’s by the numbers stuff. We end with Scrooge deciding to dontate the trophy instead (though in a great bit asking if it was tax deductible), and posing for a team shot> We get some awesome credits music and we’re out

Final Thoughts:

This special is mediocre: There are only a handful of great jokes, it’s your standard “teamwork makes the dreamwork plot” that dosen’t work because our underdogs really CAN’T play without their star, and Scrooge’s voice hurts to listen to. Pope and Taylor are great and while Will Ryan is an awful Scrooge, he is a good Beagle Boy or five. 

It IS worth a watch though. It’s riffable enough with the sometimes sloppy unfinished animatoin in the last part and Scrooge’s terrible voice, and it is still is a neat oddity for 90′s kids like myself to not only see Russi’s first thing as Huey Dewey and Louie, but to also see Scrooge and Goofy with vastly diffrent voice actors, as well as Gyro and the Beagle Boys first animated apperances. The fact this came just months before Ducktales makes it all the more intresting. So if your looking for a legit good Disney product.. this is shoddy at best if well meaning. But as a bit of disney history, especially only clocking in at 20 minutes so it’ sa brisk watch, it’s worth a look if your into that. 

Next On Goof Week: We come on in To The House of Mouse where goofy becomes faster than a speeding punchline,  more powerful than pete when his family has to wrestle him to the ground to take him to the doctor and able to make tall leaps of logic in a single bound. it’s SUPER GOOF!

So thank you for reading and if you liked this review give it a like and consider joining my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. As a patron you’d get access to exclusive reviews, the patreon’s discord and to pick a short each time I do one of these shortstaculars. Donald’s comnig next month and the deadline is in only a few days to join up for said month so the clock is ticking. Even a dollar a month helps me reach my stretch goals so please i fyou can sign up today and if not, I understand and i’ll see you at the next rainbow

[firebrands]

I am in love with your fics!! 30 and stony for the short fic ask please :)

thank you!!! that makes me so happy hehe

also i know... i know it said short fic.......... yet here i am. thank you for sending a prompt and i hope you enjoy!!

Me voy pa'l pueblo, M, 2.7k | “tourist/knowledgeable local au” + stony bingo prompt fill “farewells” | on ao3

Steve wrinkles his nose as he looks around the intersection he’s found himself on. He tries not to be too obvious about it, and he hates when he gets sympathetic looks from the locals. So he glances at the street sign, then back at the shopfront.

He meant to go see the Casa de las Conchas—a large, Gothic building with seashells dotting along its facade. It also housed a public library.

Steve sighs in frustration then looks around the almost empty street—it’s lunchtime, and there aren’t many people milling about, having settled on a restaurant or gone home. Steve’s gaze lands on a man ostensibly doing just that. Steve walks toward the man as he pulls off his glove and punches in the code to his building.

“Uh—disculpe,” Steve says, fumbling already with the little Spanish he knows.

The man turns to look at him and Steve is almost bowled over by how gorgeous he is; he tries his best not to stare, but it’s nearly impossible. His face is framed by a well-trimmed moustache and goatee, and his gaze is somehow arresting—he’d never thought that description made sense until this moment.

The man blinks at him. “Sí?” he prompts.

“Casa de las Conchas?” Steve says it like a question. “Lo siento,” he adds. “No hablo Espanol.”

The man snorts softly and nods at Steve, considering him for a moment.

Steve stares back, taking every available second to drink in the sight of him. His shirt fits just right, enough to highlight the muscles of his tan arms, and Steve could look at him forever.

Then, the man scratches the side of his head, shaking it a little as he mumbles to himself. “Er, go straight there,” he says, using his hand to direct Steve’s gaze. “Then you turn right at the first. Then after two…” The man pauses, and bites on his lip as he thinks. It’s absolutely adorable.

Steve is infatuated. This is not how his vacation was supposed to start.

“After two corners,” the man resumes, “you turn left, and then you will see—” another pause. “Many people,” he finishes with a grin.

Steve nods. “Right at the first corner, then left after two corners.”

“Sí, exactamente,” the man says, still smiling.

“Gracias.” They smile at each other for a bit more, until the door of the man’s apartment beeps.

Steve takes it as his cue to leave.

***

Steve feels a little pathetic, daydreaming about the Anonymous Man as he settles down in a cafe across the historical landmark he set out to see. He can’t help but dream up scenarios in which the man comes to have a cup of coffee, and then they share a look of recognition, and Steve asks him to sit, and they chat and—well.

Steve pulls out his notebook and starts sketching, the activity handily keeping his mind focused on reality.

Steve wanders around the city a bit more, following crowds until he ends back at the Plaza Mayor. The Old City looks beautiful, lit up by bright lights strategically placed to highlight building facades, the crowds bustling with university students and tourists.

He’s planned this vacation for more than half a year, and he relishes the feeling of getting lost somewhere. Not that he’s ever really lost, but there’s some relief, not knowing. He buys a few postcards and stamps, and after a full afternoon of sightseeing, he sighs with contentment as he takes a seat in one of the bars that dot the interior of the plaza. A waiter comes to take his order—Steve picks out three pinxtos right off the bat, and he spends the few minutes waiting by watching the crowds milling about.

A pint of beer is placed in front of him and Steve looks up at the waiter, intent on saying thank you, and startles when he sees the man from earlier.

They look at each other and Steve huffs out a laugh.

The man smiles, runs a hand through his hair, looking a little nonplussed. “Did you find Las Conchas?” He asks.

“Yeah,” Steve nods. He almost asks the man to sit, but remembers that he works here. “Thanks for the directions.”

The man nods. “Enjoy your beer,” he says, and Steve watches as he walks back inside, only to blush when the man looks back at him and catches him staring.

Steve laughs a little to himself, embarrassed by how giddy he feels—it’s been a while, since he’s felt this, like he has a crush. He can’t help but hope that the man continues to serve his table, even if he knows it won’t go anywhere. It’s not like he knows if the man is gay or bisexual, or that he himself can communicate that without being so overt; how do people just do that, anyway? Steve takes a sip of his beer, enjoying the idea that he could be that kind of person, maybe. The kind who just jumped someone’s bones, didn’t worry what other people would think.

He is on vacation, after all. And it’s not like anyone here knows him. It’s a liberating thought, but Steve knows, too, that that’s all it will be.

Thankfully, the man comes back, easy smile on his lips as he sets down plates of food. “Did you like the beer?” He asks, and Steve nods, and doesn’t look at the man any longer. He tries to subdue the desire stirring in his gut. He doesn’t want to be so weird about it, but god, his mind is going strange places—he imagines touching the man’s wrist, asking his name, laughing and chatting with him until the attraction boils over and drives them to act. He imagines kissing him against the wall in one of the side streets leading out of the plaza. He imagines the sounds the man would make, how Steve would ruck up his shirt. He feels his cheeks heat, and feels a little like a deviant.

Steve takes out a book from his bag, tries and fails to focus on it as the man comes back to check on him periodically. Steve feels a little hysterical, doesn’t want to think it means anything, maybe they’re just trained to provide great service.

He shakes away the thought, finishes his meal, and leaves a large tip before the man can come back out again.

Later that night, after tossing and turning and thinking, still, of the man’s smile, he sits up and turns on his phone. He’s never really sincerely used this dating app, even after Bucky had helped set up his account and hovered over his shoulder as Steve swiped through.

Steve takes a deep breath, adjusts the settings to just far enough to span the Old City, and what he figures to be close enough to where the man lives. He can’t explain why he’s doing this, or what he hopes to achieve. He hopes he finds the man on the app, and if he does, by some miracle, then maybe it’ll be a blessing enough that they match. Besides, he’s leaving two days from now, has a plane ticket to Barcelona, and this feels like a last ditch effort of pleading with the universe. Please, please, please let him be gay. Let him be on the app. Come through for me, this one last time.

After spending the good part of an hour swiping and never coming across the man’s profile, Steve sighs and puts his phone away.

Message from the universe certainly received.

At least he has a nice memory to tie to this place, on top of everything else. It’s as good a souvenir as any.

***

Steve feels a little manic as he walks towards the bar. He’d spent the day exploring the outskirts of the city; sat down on the banks of the river and sketched while he ate a sandwich, then later meandered back towards the plaza at the center of it all.

He figures that he doesn’t have much to lose, at least compared to what could happen—which, honestly, is just to see the man one last time.

The bar has just opened for its afternoon shift, and Steve takes a deep breath before opening the door and stepping inside.

Like a flash of lightning, his gaze locks on the man’s. He looks just as gorgeous as Steve remembers (and he has been remembering a significant amount).

The man huffs out a laugh, a look of surprise and relief on his face. “It’s you,” he says, and Steve feels his heart soar.

“It’s me,” Steve says, laughing a little. The man gestures to the seat in front of him from behind the bar.

“I’m Tony.”

Steve grins, reaches over and shakes his hand. “I’m Steve.”

Steve’s thankful there are no other patrons that need to be attended to, and he’s about to say so, but Tony speaks first.

“I’m happy you came back,” he says. “I was worried.”

Steve shrugs, still feeling giddy with excitement. “Well, you had such great service.”

“Did we?” Tony asks, peering at Steve.

Steve fumbles. “You… kept checking on how I was doing.”

Tony laughs. “Yeah, because you’re cute.”

Steve makes a sound of protest, feeling his cheeks heat. “Oh,” he says. He bites his lip for a moment, then says, “you are too.”

Tony puffs up his chest, making Steve laugh again. Then he turns to Steve, a crooked smile on his lips. “I checked Tinder.”

“I did too!” Steve exclaims, because the additional confirmation of their mutual attraction is a welcome relief.

“Ah, well. You are here now.” Tony leans on the counter and winks.

Steve hates that he blushes even more. “I am,” he murmurs.

“Do you want to…” Tony trails off, chewing on his lip.

“I’d say grab a drink, but we’re already at a bar,” Steve says.

Tony arches his eyebrow at Steve. “Something else on your mind, then?”

Steve shrugs, feeling very coy as he smirks at Tony and says, “Only if it’s on yours.”

***

The bar had filled up and cleared out, but Steve and Tony had still managed to have bursts of conversation especially since Tony was bartending that night. Some customers had given them knowing looks, one regular even went on to jeer at Tony in spanish and wink at him, making Tony laugh and Steve flush all the way down his neck. He may not have known the words but the intent was clear.

Tony’s manager waved them off early, and Steve left a generous tip while Tony was putting on his jacket.

As soon as they’re out the door, Tony reaches over and twines their fingers together. It should be absurd, the simple gesture sends a bolt of electricity up Steve’s spine, except he’s been thinking of what it would feel like to touch Tony, and now he is.

The plaza’s not as busy anymore, most bars and restaurants closing as well. Across the square there’s a group of rowdy men, drunkenly singing as they walk.

Steve gestures at them and Tony ducks his head and laughs. Steve can’t say what comes over him, but he can’t bear the thought of not looking at Tony now that he can, so he reaches over, cups Tony’s jaw, and pulls him into a kiss.

Tony’s laugh cuts out abruptly into a soft moan, and he tugs Steve closer until they’re pressed against each other, hip to shoulder.

“My apartment,” Tony says, lips still brushing against Steve’s as he speaks.

Steve nods. “I remember.”

Tony pulls away and blinks at Steve. “You do?”

Steve blushes again and looks away. “I told you. I think you’re cute.”

Tony turns Steve to face him. “Good,” he says, and tugs on Steve’s hand, leading them out of the plaza.

It takes them longer than it should to get there, stopping every few steps to kiss. Steve feels drunk with desire, with the heady feeling of being this close to someone, with the disbelief that more than once he’d walked away from Tony yet somehow, is now walking with Tony.

At one point their kisses get heated enough that Steve acts on what he’d dreamt up, pushes Tony against a wall and slides his hands under Tony’s shirt, making Tony gasp.

“My apartment is a street away,” Tony breathes out, but tilts his head to give Steve access to his jaw, his neck.

“I can’t wait,” Steve says, right before nipping at the skin above Tony’s collarbone.

Tony lets out a string of curses in Spanish, and Steve groans against Tony’s neck, feeling himself getting hard.

Tony grunts and pushes Steve off him, muttering to himself in Spanish and half-dragging Steve the rest of the way.

When they finally get to the door of Tony’s apartment, Steve wraps his arms around Tony’s waist as Tony punches in his code. He smiles to himself as he peppers Tony’s nape with kisses, still in a mild state of disbelief that only a few days ago he’d chanced upon meeting Tony.

He’s glad that of all the people in Salamanca, he’d asked Tony for directions.

“Bruto impaciente,” Tony huffs, oblivious to Steve’s inner musings. Then they’re inside, and Tony hushes him as they stumble toward the elevator.

Tony pushes him against the doors just as the slide shut, kissing him soundly, his hands tugging up Steve’s shirt. The doors to the elevator open just as Tony undoes Steve’s belt.

Tony keeps kissing him, making him walk backwards until he bumps into a wall, then they’re laughing and shushing each other. Tony quiets as he turns and digs his keys out of his pocket. He makes an impatient sound when Steve presses up behind him, resting his hands on Tony’s hips.

“Here, here,” Tony says, throwing the door open and pulling Steve inside. He slams Steve against the door, kissing him roughly. It seems like the privacy has unleashed something in Tony, who digs his fingernails into the skin of Steve’s shoulders, kisses Steve so deeply that he has to blink when Tony pulls away.

“Until when are you here?”

Steve lets out a breath. “What?”

“In Salamanca?”

“Oh.” Steve leans back against the door and cups Tony’s cheek. “Tomorrow afternoon.”

Tony considers him. “Then we should make tonight worth it, no?”

Steve huffs out a laugh. “Yeah,” he says, pulling Tony close to press their foreheads together. “Yeah,” he says again, and kisses him.

This certainly isn’t how he thought his vacation would go. But it’s a good detour.

***

Steve is drying his hair when Tony comes back with two cups of coffee. He murmurs his thanks before taking a sip, and Tony sits down on the bed, watching Steve.

Steve tilts his head at Tony, waiting for him to speak. Instead, Tony shakes his head and laugh softly.

“What?” Steve asks, setting the towel down and sitting beside Tony. He takes Tony’s hand in his and kisses his knuckles.

Tony blushes and tries to tug his hand away, but Steve tightens his grip, kisses the inside of Tony’s wrist, then up his arm. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Tony laughs, just as Steve kisses the inside of Tony’s elbow. “I am just glad that you came to the bar.”

Steve smiles up at Tony. “Me too.”

“Are you going to miss me?” Tony teases.

“Maybe,” Steve pauses for dramatic effect. “Maybe I’ll miss you as much as you miss me.”

Tony arches his eyebrow, unimpressed. “So not at all.”

Steve squawks in protest and tackles Tony onto the bed, pinning Tony down with his hips as he kisses Tony all over while tickling him.

“Enough!” Tony screeches, laughing so hard he’s nearly in tears. “I will not miss the tickling!”

Steve laughs, stopping his attack and resting his forehead against Tony’s chest. They’re quiet for a moment, and Tony strokes the back of Steve’s hair.

“I’m happy.”

Steve looks up at Tony. “Me too.”

Tony’s lips quirk into a smile. “But you have to go.”

“I do,” Steve says, returning to resting his face against Tony’s chest.

“That’s okay,” Tony says. “You have my number.”

“I do,” Steve says, his voice muffled.

“Maybe we’ll see each other again,” Tony says. He snakes his hand under Steve’s chin and tilts his face up. “RIght?”

Steve presses closer against Tony’s palm. “Right,” he says.

“But before that,” Steve pushes himself up and offers Tony his hand. “Shower?”

send me a number and i’ll write you a short fic

[champagne-bucky]

Come Sail Away ⛵️

Summary: You and Bucky go on a vacation which leads to an unexpected turn of events.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW, SMUT, dub-con if you squint, fingering, hand job, spanking, daddy kink. 

Notes: Hey everyone! This is my entry for @imanuglywombat ‘s Ugliest Wombat Challenge. This theme that I chose is Beach Babes so here’s what I came up with. This was loosely inspired by the TV show The Nanny, if you know the episode I’m referencing then you know it’s about to go down. Anyways, please like, comment, reblog, inbox, and follow me for more!! Enjoy :)

The warm summer sun was beating down deliciously on your skin. The salt from the bright blue sea infiltrated your nostrils and was filled with with the scent of summer. Ah, summertime, where the days were unbearably hot and the nights mimicked the same. Less clothing to be worn and not a care in the world. 

You welcomed the warm weather with open arms. After dealing with a gruesome winter, and a spring which brought no tease of its following season, you were more than ready to throw your heavy coat into storage and get on the first bathing suit you could find. Yes, summer was here and you were drinking in every inch of the wonderful season. 

Work was rough this winter. Spending days to sometimes months in places that weren’t your own bed, sleeping in the most horrid conditions, and worst of all, the inclement weather had gotten you sick more times than you could count on both hands. Well, that’s what you signed up for with being an Avenger and all. You might not have super soldier serum to suppress the frigid air or a suit which comes with a built in heater to offer a blast of warmth in all the right places, but you have a nice week long cruise (courtesy of Tony) to forget about those lone nights in Siberia which ended up leaving you bed ridden for two weeks. 

Now you’re here, standing on the ships edge looking out of the vast ocean. Not a singular care in the world crosses your mind. You craved this, you craved the peace and bliss. 

“You stay out here any longer I’m afraid you’ll jump overboard and be one with the fishes,” Bucky chuckles from behind you and startles you. 

He was asked by Tony to “keep watch over you” which was code for “Barnes you need this vacation just as much as her, please for the love of God relax,” however, Tony would never tell him that. Bucky enjoyed working, a little too much. After all this time he was finally able to be the good guy for once and did whatever he could to keep the newly acquired bravado intact. 

“Barnes, didn’t expect to see you so close to me. Usually you’re hiding out of my line of sight, or so you thought,” you muttered the last part to yourself. He was really taking this watching over thing seriously. 

“Was getting bored. I’m starting to think this mission was more a vacation for me and you,” Bucky shakes his head and chuckles. 

“You’re just now figuring out Stark’s master plan?” You kiddingly scoffed as Bucky rolled his eyes at you. “Ya know, you really could use a break.” 

“I got all the time in the world to have a break.” 

“Oh yeah? When?” You challenged him. 

“When I’m dead,” Bucky winked at you before walking off to his room, announcing that he was going to take shower. 

“Oh before I go, dinner later?” 

“Depends will you be sitting with me or sitting from afar like the last couple nights?” You kid with him and he rolled his eyes. 

“You’re a real pain in my ass, ya know that?” 

“Hey, someone’s gotta be,” you winked and Bucky turned away fast, mainly to hide the blush spreading on his cheeks.

“See ya later,” Bucky called out to you. 

—

Debating on whether or not was a good time to pull yourself away from the amazing view of the ocean, you had to sadly leave your peaceful space on the balcon and go meet Bucky for dinner. A quick shower and a few shimmies into the beautiful gown Natasha lent you later, you were on your way to dinner. 

Tony gave his team nothing but the best. From top of the line technology and the best clothes money could buy, he made sure that you and Bucky got a luxurious treatment while on this vacation. This included dinner at the most refined restaurant on the ship’s deck. It was so exclusive that you needed to book your reservation there first before you booked your tickets for the cruise. Of course, Tony being Tony, and your title as an Avenger, made it easy for the restaurant to put your names down in their coveted black book of mile long reservations. 

Now here you are, standing a little ways from the hostess desk waiting for your beloved co-worker. While you waited you took in the beautiful scenery of the restaurant. So classy and elegant you felt out of place even if you had on an expensive gown. You were so caught up in the extravagance that you didn’t notice a hand at the small of your back. 

“You clean up nice,” Bucky stood next to you in a suit and tie. He had recently cut his hair before the trip, but that didn’t stop him from throwing in a little gel. 

“I could same the same for you too. New product?” The two of you made small talk as Bucky gave Tony’s name for reservation. 

Unbeknownst to the two of you, the hostess eyed both and you up and down and warily took you to your table. 

—

Dinner was fantastic. Like the restaurant’s atmosphere the food also had an elegant taste to it. The wait staff was equally classy and charming to all the patrons too. You and Bucky were sipping on expensive wine and dining on fine desserts until a waiter, not yours, approached you. 

“Did we enjoy everything so far?” Bucky looked at the man confused. 

“Yeah, yeah everything was great thank you,” being the polite person you are you gave the waiter a smile. 

“Well we love hearing that customers, let alone two Avengers, are enjoying the establishment. Anyways, I was sent to come tell you that the captain has requested your presence at his table overlooking the sea. A little birdie told me you two enjoy quite a view,” Bucky was on guard at all times during this exchange. It’s not that he didn’t trust the waiter it was that he wondered why their waiter wasn’t getting them. 

“Sounds good to me. C’mon Buck let’s go,” you stood up and began to follow the waiter. Bucky reluctantly got up and pulled your arm so that you were walking at his pace. 

“Don’t you think it’s a little fishy that right after we get done eating the captain wants to see us?”

“Oh Bucky, who cares! Maybe he didn’t want to interrupt us or something,” Bucky was always a paranoid person. 

“I just got a bad feeling about this that’s all,” you giggled and shook your head in attempt to brush off Bucky and not appear rude towards the waiter. 

“And here we are! Captain Richards will be out momentarily,” and just like that the waiter was gone leaving you and Bucky to your own devices. 

Not long after Captain Richards appeared. He offered you both a glass of wine and you both drank. Bucky was a little hesitant but decided to drink after you made a move to your second glass. Soon, one glass turned into almost half a bottle of expensive wine gone. You were swimming and Bucky was grinning like a mad man. 

“Sergeant, would you mind fetching me and this beautiful young lady another bottle? I’d get up but I don’t have your tolerance and can barely walk a straight line,” Bucky was happy to oblige and went to Richards quarters. 

“So when will you be leaving us Ms. Avenger?” Richards asks you. 

“Bucky and I dock in two days in Mexico. We were planning on flying back to New York,” you slowly got up and ran over to the balcony. Your drunken state was taking in the dark misty waters. 

“Well we will be missing you greatly Miss,” Richards has his hand on your back, lightly pressing you into the railing. “It’ll be such a shame that no one will be seeing you anymore, around the decks I mean,” you eyed the older man up and down. What did he just say?

“It’s such a shame, I do like you and your little partner but in order for us to continue our plans we can’t let the law, let alone a group of super freaks, ruin it,” with a harsh shove your body was lurched off the balcony. 

Your reflexes hit fast and you snapped out of your inebriated state. Last second you cling onto the very last bar of the balcony. Your heels were knock off and sunk into the water. 

“Little shit c’mere,” Richards growled as he stomped his heavy boot on your fingers. He crushed down so hard and you almost didn’t budge but your grip was weakening. He squished and scraped both hands successfully off the bar and you fell into the ocean. 

“Y/N? Captain? Is everything alright,” Bucky emerged from the captains quarters with a new bottle of wine. 

“Oh Sergeant, please help! Your comrade just flung herself overboard!” RIchard’s yelled. 

“What! Oh fuck, Stark’s gonna kill me! Hang on I’m coming! You gotta stop the boat. Alert the coast guard,” Bucky struggled to free himself of both shoes. He made is way over the balcony and plunged in to find you. 

“Will do Sergeant,” Richards grinned evilly when he heard a solid plunk in the water. “Will do.” The captain chuckled darkly before pulling up a com on his wrist, “the threats have been eliminated. Hail Hydra.”

—

13 hours missing

You awoke with a gasp. It felt like air had hit your lungs for the first time in ages. Your body was wet and the gown was sticking all over you, not to mention the sand in unwanted places. You barely had a chance to register your surroundings. 

“Bucky? Bucky!? Bucky are you here?!” You finally stood up, legs wobbling a little, and you tried to find your super human friend. 

“Oh fuck, Bucky are you okay?” After walking down a long strip of beach you found him. His face was planted in the sand and his shoes were long gone. He seemed like he was breathing but still unconscious. 

“BUCKY WAKE UP,” You yelled and pushed Bucky with all your might to turn him over. Bucky, much like you, awoke with a gasp and claimed as much fresh air as he could. 

“What? Huh, where are we? Y/N?! Oh my god, you’re okay?!” Bucky was a babbling mess and couldn’t even form a coherent sentence. 

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Richards threw me off the boat!”

“Threw you? He told me you got drunk and fell over! That fucking bastard!” 

Bucky began to explain how he jumped in after you and grabbed you. He saw the boat wasn’t stop so he tried his best to swim after it. Not long after he grew tired and the waves were picking up. Low and behold here you both are, trapped on a deserted island. 

“Fuck,” you breathed out. 

“We are so fucked,” after a while and sitting around and doing nothing you and Bucky decided to make some type of shelter. 

“You think they’ll find us?” You questioned. 

“They have to. They’ll know somethings up when we don’t come back,” Bucky finished putting together a leaf type hut and was now getting wood for a fire. 

“What are we going to do?” 

“There’s nothing to do. We gotta wait it out and hope they’ll come looking for us,” Bucky sighed and hauled over some wood from fallen tree branches. 

You could only hope Tony and the team would come looking for you. Neither you or Bucky had an idea of how long you’ve been on the island. Clearly not long enough that neither of your starved, but still there was no matter is finding out when someone would rescue you. 

—

One week missing

“Buckyyyyyyy,” you groaned irritably, “I’m so hot and so hungryyyy.”

It had been over one week since you both fell overboard. No one had come to rescue you yet  and your were becoming impatient. 

“I told you that if you’re so hot to rip that fucking dress and make it shorter,” Bucky grumbled. 

Bucky had been done with your shit by now. The days and nights were so unbearably hot that you both were losing your minds. Bucky had ripped up his suit into shorts a wore a t-shirt under his suit. It wasn’t much but it had to do. 

“But I can’t! Natasha will kill me if I rip her dress,” you whined for the millionth time. 

“The heat’s gonna kill you before she does,” you gasped at Bucky’s rude comment. 

“Don’t say that. Don’t say we’re gonna die out here!” 

“I’m not gonna die but you will if you don’t rip the fuck dress,” Bucky’s voice grew louder. You’d be damned if you had to rip this dress. 

“Buckyyy,” you whined his name again. 

“WHAT!” Bucky yelled in irritation causing you to shift back from where you were sitting. 

“I’m hot,” you really were driving him and yourself stir crazy. 

“I can’t fucking stand this shit. C’mere,” Bucky lunges towards you and you tried to scramble away. He was fast and grabbed your ankle. 

“Aww you’re hot sweetheart? Lemme fix that,” he grabbed the gown at the bottom and tore a big slit. It was torn all the way up your thigh. It showed everything and nothing at the same time. 

You tried to kick him off but he worked too fast. Bucky made his way towards the middle of the dress and ripped right below where your breasts were. He easily made the expensive gown a shitty slit skirt and a crop top. Sure, it felt a little cooler, but now you almost felt naked in front of your co-worker. 

“The next time I hear you complaining I won’t hesitate to rip that outfit to shreds,” you choked back a gasp as Bucky got up and made his way to get more firewood. You almost missed the hint of lust in his eyes

—

Two weeks missing 

Your body was dirty, your stomach barely filled, and damn it it was getting more and more hot as the seconds ticked away. You starts to lose hope that anyone would come looking for you and Bucky. Speaking of, Bucky was becoming more and more irritated with each passing day. 

His words to you were clipped responses or inaudible grunts. You were almost afraid to ask him a question in fear that he would kill you. Of course he wouldn’t, but you didn’t want to hear him yelling at you anymore. 

Night had fallen and the bugs started to come out. Icky mosquitos leaving scratchy bite marks all over both your skin. Bucky would slap a few on himself every so often, but you kept scratching away. 

“Stop doing that,” Bucky spoke as you dig your too long nails into your skin, “you’re gonna bleed from all that scratching.”

“I can’t, it’s so itchy. How am I suppose to get them to stop?”

“There’s a hot spring a little ways into the woods, I can show you and you can shower off,” he tried to be nice, but his irritably was peaking through. 

“Ew gross, you bathed in there too,” you didn’t want to get naked on this island, hell with how Bucky’s been acting who knows what he might do if he saw you naked. 

“So I’m gross now? After all I’ve been doing for you? You think I’m gross,” Bucky’s eyes narrowed in on you. 

“It’s just, you used that spring too, so isn’t that like contaminated?” You tried your best to put the words nicely but Bucky wasn’t having it. 

Bucky chuckled, “I can’t believe this. I gave us a shelter, I’ve been busting my ass to get you food, fuck I even dived into the fucking ocean to save your ass. And you,” he seethed, “you—you are so fucking ungrateful and I’ve just about HAD IT!” 

You froze in your spot as Bucky yelled at you. Tears were brimming your eyes as you tried not to let them fall. He was right, you have been acting a little bratty, but you chalked it up to blame on minimal food and heat distress. 

A tear spilled from your eye and you looked down to wipe it away. The last thing you wanted was for Bucky to see you cry. What you didn’t realize, was that Bucky made his way over to with hatred in his eyes. 

In one swift motion, Bucky grabbed you by your knotty hair and positioned you across his lap. Your eyes widened as you began to kick and push yourself away. You only stopped when Bucky laid a smack on your ass. 

“Stop moving,” Bucky spanked you again. 

“I’ve been nothing but kind to you and this is how I get treated,” *smack*, “given you shelter,”  *smack*, “food,”  *smack*, “would it be too hard to get a simple THANK,”  *smack*, “YOU,”  *smack*. 

Bucky assaulted your bottom five more times before he heard you crying. He pushing you off of him and you laid face down in the sand. He brushed off your cries and walked past you. 

“C’mon let’s get to bed. If I so much as hear a sniffle your ass will be redder than a sun burn,” Bucky sauntered into the hut leaving you in the sand to collect yourself. 

—

Three weeks missing 

You avoided Bucky like the plague. The only time you would see him was when you went to bed. He left you your food for the day but you ate it long after he went to sleep. It was a good system, for you at least. All that was on your mind was forming a plan out of here. 

The day was no hotter than the last, if not more. You ended up tearing off more of the gown and made a short skirt for yourself. The only problem was the little slit but you didn’t care. It’s not like anybody was going to be looking, or touching there, anyways. 

That’s another thing you were mad about. Almost a month since you got stranded and you were feeling deprived of touch. You wouldn’t dare touch yourself with Bucky sleeping next to you, and sadly your discreet toy was hidden away in your suitcase. It was probably tossed overboard so the ship wouldn’t be held responsible.

You gnawed at the tiny wet sensation between your legs. You wouldn’t be lying if Bucky’s half naked form wasn’t turning you on. Oh, and getting spanked had you withering a little during the nights. You longed to find some sexy guy on the cruise that would fuck your brains out. Sure, Bucky isn’t ugly, but he is your co-worker and you don’t like mixing business and pleasure. 

“FUCK, Y/N!” You heard a scream coming from the woods. 

“Y/N, HELP ME PLEASE!” You ran towards where the screams were coming from. 

You saw Bucky stumble out of the woods. His shirt was off and only a pair of boxers on. Bucky was grabbing his thigh which was dripping blood. 

“Oh my god, Bucky what happened!” 

“I was bathing in the fucking hot spring and when I got out this stupid fucking snake fucking bit my fucking thigh,” he was curing up a storm and clenching his jaw hard. 

“Was it poisonous?” 

“Y/N, I don’t know, but if it is then you need to suck the poison out,” Bucky started to lose his balance. You held him up but he kept sinking down. 

“Please, I’m sorry, help me,” Bucky has tears in his eyes and was shaking. 

“Okay, okay I’ll help you,” you knelt down to where to bite was and put your lips to his thigh. 

Bucky gasped as you lightly started to suck. Once you thought you had a good amount you spit it off to the side. You put your lips back and sucked vigorously. Bucky felt himself growing hard and tried to maintain it. 

You weren’t paying much attention to the main above you. He was tending up and you had minimal time get as much poison out of him, depending if he had any or not. You heard Bucky gasping above you but ignored him. He loosened up a bit and put his hand in your hair. He stroked it a little as you tried to pull away to spit more poison out. Then, he stopped you. 

“That’s enough, baby. I think you got it,” you were still faced with his thigh until you slowly began to look up. He was hard. Very hard. His boxers had a tiny wet spot on this and he was trying to contain himself. 

“I-I could go if you-“

“No,” Bucky finally looked down at you, “your good with your mouth aren’t you, sweetheart?” 

You blushed furiously and looked away. Bucky’s fingers tilted your chin up towards him. 

“Don’t be shy now,” he paused, “fuck I really wanna kiss you,” Bucky licked his lips and eyes you up and down. 

“Then why don’t you?” Your voice spoke before your brain could process anything. 

“Come down here sweetheart,” your body was vibrating with ecstasy and excitement. 

You slowly crawled up to him and planted your lower body in between the leg that wasn’t bitten. You laid on top of him and stared at him for a moment. The moment lasted to long for Bucky’s liking and he grabbed the back of your head and pulled you forward. 

Your lips met with a crash. The kiss was opened mouthed and sloppy. The exposed parts of your warm bodies was enough to send a pool into your panties. Bucky moaned deeply into the kiss. He tried pulling you even closer.

Your mind was swirling around in lustful thoughts. It almost didn’t register to you the way you ground down on his thigh. You both moaned. Bucky urged you on with his hand firmly on the small of your back. 

You started to grind harder and slower wanting to savor it all. Bucky finally broke the miss and you both gasped for air. You kept your forehead pressed against his. 

“Baby, let me touch you,” he rasped out. 

“B-but it feels s’good,” you moaned getting wetter by the second. 

“I’ll make it feel even better, princess.”

You begrudgingly rolled on to your back beside Bucky. Bucky careful got on his side and looked you up and down. He groaned and licked his lips taking you in. Slowly he removed your top. 

“Think you can get the rest off for me, honey?” You shook your head and rapidly pulled off the mini skirt and your panties. 

Bucky was hard as a rock and began to slowly palm himself through his boxers. You removed his hand and palmed him yourself. Bucky trialed a hand down your body all the way to your aching pussy. 

“So wet, did I make you this wet, honey?” You bit your lip and shook your head. You began palming him faster. 

“As much as I enjoy this I think he would like skin to skin contact,” you eyes widened more as Bucky began to circle your sweet little nub. 

You dipped your hand under his boxers. He was big, really fucking big, and he was leaking from the tip. You started to stroke him slowly and firmly. Bucky made quick work and started rubbing around your mound. 

He dipped a finger in and you gasped loudly. Bucky smirked and began his work. Quick thrusts in and out making the most beautiful squelching sounds you both ever heard of. The stimulation was setting you into overdrive as your stroked him faster. 

 “Princess,” you moaned out, “you’re soaking daddy’s fingers,” Bucky stopped all movement and looked up at you. You seemed unfazed and still withering in pleasure. Of course, you thought that by stopping movement he wanted a response, what you didn’t know was that he had just outed himself and his secret kink. 

“M’sorry daddy. I-I just like it so much,” little whimpers left your throat as you thrusted yourself on his fingers. Bucky was shocked that you responded but had no intentions of stopping you from fucking yourself on his fingers. 

“It’s okay baby, daddy likes it so much too,” Bucky picked you his motioned as a fast pace. 

You stopped stroking him due to the amount of pleasure you were receiving. He was like a jack rabbit thumping in and out of you. He then pulled his finger out of you completely. His big palm rubbed you all over. From clit to pussy you were drenched in your own arousal. 

“Gotta get you wet, gotta get you ready for daddy’s thick cock,” Bucky was a madman on a mission.

Your orgasm hit you like a bullet. You arched your back and screamed Bucky’s name. By the time you came down from your high your pretty sure your soul left your body. 

“Don’t think we are done just yet, princess.” 

—

Four weeks missing 

“FUCK, DADDY!” You screamed out as Bucky fucked you harshly against the tree. 

Ever since the snake bite incident, you and Bucky has been non stop fucking. Turns out you both needed to burn off that heat distress and having sex repeatedly was the way to do it. 

Morning, noon, and night Bucky had you on top of, under, ass up, mouth on, and sometimes back to, at all times. His cock became your new favorite seat. You two wouldn’t go anywhere without each other. Even while you were eating or bathing his cock stayed planted in you at all times. The days were hot but the night got cool after some intensive “exercise”. 

Now here you are, bare naked up against a tree getting pounded by your co-worker. Or were you technically lovers now? Doesn’t matter, all that matters is you cumming. 

“C’mon baby, let it out. Let it all out for daddy, baby,” after that day Bucky wouldn’t be Bucky anymore. You were always princess, honey, sweetheart, or baby. Bucky would always be daddy. 

You did slip up your third time fucking the first night by calling him Bucky. He growled and pulled out of you and spanked you till your ass was cherry red. You liked it and he liked it. It was like the pleasure you’ve both been dreaming of. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna ugh I’m gonna fucking explode in this pussy, honey. Would you like that? This little pussy fucking flooded in my cum. Say it baby, say you want my cum,” Bucky then laid you back on a giant rock and fucked you harder. 

“Daddy I want your cum. I want your cum in me and I want it all over me. Fuck daddy please please PLEASE!” You screamed out as you came again. 

Bucky moaned as he released into you. Give him five more minutes and he’ll be ready to go again. He was determined to make you body full of his cum. 

“Turn around baby, let’s see that gorgeous ass.”

—

“There,” Steve shouted over the radar.

“What? Did you find something?” Wanda ran over to where Steve was sitting. 

“I think I gotta hit on Bucky’s signal! Maybe Y/N is there with him?” Steve says. 

“We can only hope. Thank god Tony put that tracker in Bucky’s arm. We would’ve never found them,” Wanda says looking at the radar. 

“Hey if you want I can get a camera down there to see if they are there. Better we know now and not just see a random metal arm sticking out of the sand,” Wanda and Steve shot Clint a death glare. 

“Geez tough room. Okay sending a camera down,” Clint maneuvers the little drone camera to where Bucky’s signal is pinging from. 

Slowly the camera makes its way through the beachy landscape and into the wooded area of the island. There, the drone picks up two blurry figures. 

“Hey guys, I think I got something,” Clint calls Steve and Wanda over. 

“Is it them?”

“Maybe it’s a bear?” 

“Clint there are no bears on an island.” 

“Are they- are they naked?” Wanda’s eyes widen as the picture got clearer. 

“OH MY GOD MY EYES!” 

[solarianvoidthearoace]

Excerpt#4 from my JonGerry AU WiP

CN/TW: brief discussion of psychiatric medication, amiable/loving insults and banter

Gerry swallowed, putting his phone down on the table and grabbing their mug.

„Okay, what now?“, Jon shifted his elbow on the table, leaning closer. Gerry just sighed, handing over his phone, the messages with Gertrude still open. Jon raised a brow,

„So Michael gossiped“, he shrugged,

„I don’t see why you’re suddenly this tense.“ Gerry cleared their throat, taking his phone back and looking at Jon,

„Yes, well, I know my last art show was months ago, back when we were still feeling this out. Us. But actually, I do want to invite you to my art show“, they slowly smiled.

„Jon, would you like to come with to this art show? It’s primarily my work getting displayed but the rest of the gallery is open for the event as well. And while I know tickets and all sounds like it’s this scary exclusive high class thing, it’s more of a formality“, they made a placating gesture, expression a bit awkward,

„So they know who is associated with the organisation and to keep track of who is actually there to buy something.“ He shrugged, looking at Jon with an expression he thought wasn’t too hopeful. Jon just leaned even closer, pressing a kiss to their cheek,

„I’d love to come with.“ Cupping Jon’s face, Gerry turned their head, kissing him properly.

„Martin is also invited of course, I’ll send you the calendar entry so you can ask him about it when you’re out today.“

It was a Friday, the next day. Jon only worked a half the day, due to his half-year check-in with his psychiatrist. It somehow had happened to fall into the same week as Martin’s endocrinologist appointment. He was home rather soon because of that, allowing himself to sneak up on Gerry. Obviously he didn’t want to intrude on his partner’s workspace, but if they happened to be anywhere else in the loft? Jon wasn’t afraid to admit he was somewhat of a cuddle-kraken.

Where he found Gerry was in the bathroom, but the door was open so Jon poked his head in. Bend over the sink, Gerry was picking at strands of his hair, applying dye. They did spot Jon via the mirror, though.

„You’re home early“, slowly setting the strand aside so it wouldn’t smack him in the face.

„And you’re trying to do a full touch-up of your dye job on your own“, Jon sighed. Before Gerry could answer, Jon chucked off his sweater and went looking for their package of disposable gloves.

„Thank you“, their grin was a bit lopsided. Jon just rolled his eyes,

„Yea, yea, twerp. Just the roots?“ Snapping on the gloves, he took the brush Gerry held out.

„It’s black, doll. Not like it will get blotchy if there’s too much. Just needs to cover everything properly.“ Jon sighed, giving a gentle push so Gerry would tilt their head as he needed to part the hair. Before he actually started anything, though, he handed the brush back and went over to the shower to get the shower stool. Not doing the dye job himself, Gerry didn’t exactly need to stand to look into the mirror. Gerry held the bowl for him, ducking their head this way and that, so Jon could reach every area that was left. They remained in comfortable silence for some time.

„Why do you even still dye your hair yourself?“, Jon finally asked, using the pointed handle of the applicator brush to shift some strands.

„I just got used to it“, Gerry shrugged,

„Also I did step up my game. I started using proper salon-grade hair colour some years back.“ Jon snorted,

„Yea, I got curious and looked up the conditioner you use, once“, he shook his head. As good as they could, Gerry shot him a glare through the mirror. Jon actually blew him a kiss in reiteration, before he grinned.

„My appointment went well, by the way.“ Gerry raised a brow, he hadn’t been about to ask.

„Apparently my newly changed living situation benefits my mental health, as far as my psychiatrist was willing to dip into psychologist territory“, Jon continued, shrugging,

„I mean, obviously my anxiety dropped. Within the range that’s somewhat usual for general anxiety disorder, so there’s that. But unless I notice anything specific, eh. This positive change in my life isn’t a reason to change my medication or dosage. I’m honestly fine with that decision.“ Gerry hummed in understanding. Reaching up his hand that wasn’t holding the colour bowl, they gave Jon’s hand a squeeze,

„Understandable. Changing medication is a pain in the ass.“ Jon nodded empathetically,

„Oh, that does remind me“. He paused while he looked through the sections he had made of Gerry’s hair. Nodding to himself, he grabbed the disposable shower cap from the sink. Twisting Gerry’s hair up to get it all into the cap, he smiled when they helped fixating the loose tangle for a moment.

„Where was I? Oh, yes. So, when I was out with Martin yesterday, he said he had to pick up his hormones. We stopped by here real quick and I took your prescription with to the apothecary. Restock is in the mirror cabinet.“ He pointed over to the part of the long mirror cabinet where they kept their medication,

„I know you keep them in the bedroom but since it didn’t seem urgent, I figured I would just put them there.“ Checking one last time the cap sat properly, Jon finally pulled off his gloves.

As soon as Gerry had disposed of the colour bowl as well as his own gloves, they turned and took Jon’s hands in his.

„Thank you. Was I asleep while you snuck around here?“ He raised a brow, expression teasing. Jon rolled his eyes,

„Either that or holed up downstairs. It’s not like I checked, dipshit.“ Gerry hummed, tilting their head and giving Jon a scrutinising look. Leaning back against the sink to stabilise themself, Gerry pulled Jon in, gently moving him around until he sat across his lap. Hugging him, he pressed a kiss to Jon’s neck.

„I really appreciate you taking care of me, doll.“ Jon huffed, rolling his eyes,

„It’s not like it was lengths to go to or anything. Sure, Martin did give me a look about it.“ He shrugged. At that, Gerry looked up, giving him a quizzical look, Jon waved it away.

„He knows my brand of antidepressants by now, not like it changed. But the packet-size is rather universal anyway, so I honestly didn’t feel the need to explain this to him. It’s your business. It is easy enough to figure out if he actually caught what type of medication it is but I don’t really think so…?“, Jon scratched at his neck. Gerry grinned, before putting on a mock-scandalised expression,

„Are you keeping things from your boyfriend, on my behalf?“ That just earned him an elbow to the stomach, thanks to Jon’s position.

„Oh shut up, twerp.“ The accompanying huff was unmistakably on the fond side of exasperation. They just grinned again,

„Hm, no. But maybe I will let myself get convinced to put my mouth to better use than running it.“

With how involved Gerry had managed to get Jon, a bit of the hair colour paste had smudged onto Jon’s shoulder, discolouring the strap of his undershirt. Besides that, it had been a nice and quiet weekend for the two of them. And also the last one before Gerry got wrapped up in the acute preparations of the art show. The next couple of weeks turned out rather busy. Working with Gertrude’s team to set up in the gallery meant he had to switch their daily routine, as far as it existed, to that of someone working eight-to-five. Lining it up with Jon’s nine-to-five if it hadn’t been for the librarian-slash-archivist’s overtime.

It was getting a bit hectic, though. Meaning, they did reduce their shifts at the bar for the time being. Gerry, first off, had to work actual day-time hours to be involved in the organisation. On top of adhering to Gertrude’s instructions to them as the artist. Which basically summed up to the equivalent of working over-time as well. So his work schedule almost lined up with Jon’s after all. It was nice, to get home around the same time as their partner, or only having just arrived when the front door clicked.

Gertrude was strict but she also knew not to overwork them, meaning she cut Gerry some slack in lieu of being helpful with the event organisation. Not that they got payed for the administrative help or basically doing the same job as Michael for the time being.

But at least she didn’t push any commissions at him until the art show and follow-up around the sales would be done. In those weeks, he actually was off work when he got home. This, of course, also entailed there wasn’t much time Gerry was working when Jon brought Martin with him. Meaning, they were about anywhere in the loft except for the atelier.

“Uhm, what is the dress code for the event?”, Martin spoke up at some point during an evening at the loft. Jon paused,

“Actually I haven’t thought about that. He didn’t exactly mention anything, so I figured something around business casual?”, he didn’t look all that sure. Humming, Jon got up from the couch,

“They should be upstairs so I’ll just go ask.” Martin nodded, suddenly sitting a bit stiffer than he did before, making Jon smile,

“You can come along, you know?”

On the upper floor of the loft, the bedroom door was leant, a thin gap visible. Still, Jon thought it better to check,

“Gerry, are you decent in there?” From the inside came a snort, followed by a chuckled reply,

“Morally? Never! I’m wearing pants, though, if that was the root of your concern.” Rolling his eyes, Jon turned to Martin so someone would see his long-suffering expression.

“Since we pretty much corrupted each other in our youth, of course I meant the pants, dipshit!”, he snarled back,

“Martin’s with me and I don’t want any of us to have a weird situation here.” Some clattering and rustling came from behind the door,

“Come on in, then. No need to keep talking through the door, four-eyes.” With that, Jon pushed the door open and walked in, allowing Martin to enter after him. Gerry sat on their bed, still in their black jeans from when he had been to the gallery. But they had changed the button shirt Gertrude had forced upon him in favour of his pastel hoodie. Sitting cross legged near the foot-end, he was still in the process of tying his hair back.

“So, what’s up?”

“Ah, well…”, Martin’s voice came out even more meek than usual, probably from the nervousness of standing in someone else’s bedroom,

“I was wondering about the event you invited us to. First, thanks again, of course. I’m really excited about seeing your work, properly displayed even. Secondly, while I know the appointed time and everything, I was wondering whether there will be a dress-code.” At that, Gerry blinked, before humming.

“Well… for me, I have to stick to whatever Trudie will force me to wear that night, since I’m posing as her assistant again. But the general event dress-code is somewhere between smart casual and business casual, I think.” They turned and stretched to grab his phone from the bedside table,

“I’ll ask Sasha.”

While they waited on the reply, Jon’s brow creased,

“So you’re forced into… what? Business attire? I really can’t picture that.” Gerry rolled his eyes,

“More like cocktail attire. Not exactly a distinction to business dress but Gertrude is giving us all some leeway, as long as we look official enough. Last time Sasha wore a floaty silk blouse over high-waisted slacks”, they shrugged,

“Along those lines, I guess. I always try matching her in terms of formal dress, it’s at least more coherent than whatever Michael has got going on at any time.”

[gleekto]

Roommate Wanted (3/10)

Summary/Prompt (stolen from @hazelandglasz - thank you!):  Straight guy (Blaine) worries he’s being homophobic to gay roommate (Kurt), then realizes he’s fallen for him. NYADA AU. Blaine POV.

One

Two

Three

Blaine bites the bullet and does it. He asks Rachel out. If Kurt is going to be having someone around their apartment, he should too. It would obviously be more fun that way and he would feel less like a third wheel. Of course he asks for Kurt’s blessing first. It would break the roommate code of conduct to ask out Kurt’s best friend without first making sure he was cool with it. 

And he was - enthusiastic even.

“Oh my god, of course!” Kurt clapped his hands. “You know the first time she met you she said you were hot.” 

She did? Blaine definitely didn’t notice. “You’re just saying that.”

“No seriously. She practically broke my hand squeezing it oh my god, Kurt! He’s so hot,” Kurt imitates. “And you said he’s straight, right?” Kurt continues. “Of course I told her you were but warned her against making anything awkward for me. So this works perfectly - we can double date!”

So that’s how he ends up at the rep theatre watching Love Simon with Rachel, Kurt, and Adam, on Friday night. If there’s any chance he can prove to Kurt and Adam that he is an enlightened cool guy, this has got to be it. Go big or go home. 

The movie goes perfectly. He buys Rachel’s ticket and the popcorn, and Kurt sits on his other side, which means he gets to be privy to all of Kurt’s scathing commentary throughout the movie. The gays have apparently graduated to our own trite romances with high school stereotypes, Kurt whispers to him. Still Blaine can tell Kurt’s loving every second of it.

Kurt turns to him again. I know it won’t be, but the admirer should be Nick. Straight best friend turns out to be gay. Rest of this is unrealistic, why not go for the complete fairytale? Blaine turns to Kurt, shaking his head. Nick, really? And notices that Kurt and Adam are holding hands. He thinks about holding Rachel’s hand but it’s too soon, and besides, he seems to have gotten a bit sweaty. Not attractive on a first date. Anyways, Rachel hasn’t made any moves either. But everyone’s laughing and oooh’ing and awww’ing when the movie ends so it’s definitely a success.

The pitfalls of Blaine again being an apparently ignorant straight boy only begin once they’re sipping on their post-movie hot chocolates. “So you liked the movie, Blaine?” Adam interjects somewhat pointedly in a momentary lull in the conversation.

“Yeah. I mean, didn’t we all?” They literally all just left the theatre singing its praises.

“Well, Kurt and I did and Rachel’s dads are gay but-” Oh yes. Another test. 

“Right,” Blaine nods.  “So does it appeal to a straight guy?”

“Does it?” Adam’s a bit too on the nose for casual conversation. 

“Yeah they were cute.”  Blaine shrugs and Rachel smiles at him. “Maybe a bit unrealistic-”

“Totally,” Kurt interjects, thankfully. “Declarations of love in front of the whole school, every teen stereotype in the book-”

Blaine continues, “Yeah and Simon and Bram just always knowing they were gay-” 

“Excuse me?” Adam interrupts. “I know you may not realize this but just like you knew you were straight when you pulled Cathy’s pigtails in grade four, we also knew -”

“We may not have had a name for it,” Kurt tries to placate Adam who seems to be irritated with him. Again. “But yeah, we knew.”

“Of course. I mean-” What did he mean? He’s just trying to show Kurt that he is actually not a dense straight guy. And he is failing. Again. Thankfully, Rachel picks that moment to yawn and asks if Blaine would mind getting their hot chocolates to go and making an early exit. He would definitely not mind at all.

“Have fun, kids,” Kurt waves at them oddly wistfully as they leave.

“Don’t wait up,” Adam adds as if it’s a challenge.

“I won’t?” Blaine shrugs. Maybe a double date wasn’t the best idea. The more he tries to defeat the straight boy stereotype, the more he seems to be showing Kurt just how clueless he is.

[prorevenge]

My wannabe fashionista coworker always threw shade at me for being frumpy. She looked frumpier, unemployed!

TL;DR at the bottom

*******

I worked at a popular, high end clothing store while I was in graduate school (I'm an engineer). I won't name the brand, but it's the sort that charged $50 for a pair of male boxer briefs, $200 for a lady's fancy bra, or $400 or more for a pair of jeans, $1,000 or more for those skinny suits that hip guys wear to their job, where the hems of their pants reveal that they're wearing loafers without socks.

The clothes there weren't really my style but the starting pay was two dollars higher than minimum wage, and higher than most of the other, surrounding stores. This was at a rich people shopping center, where lots of people who shop there are wannabe celebrities and constant selfie-takers.

I was surprised to get hired there, but was relieved that I wouldn't have to really do customer service, as I worked only in the stock room. I'd put out clothes on the shelves and racks before and after closing, and also arrange everything in the back to make it organized. I was also trained so that in emergency situations I could cover register if we were short handed, so that the regular associates could go on break.

I was hardly seen by customers, but I still had to wear the clothes the store sold, to promote the image of the company. I didn't, thankfully, have to wear the dainty little suits, but I did sport the jeans and other casual things we sold.

It was a job. I didn't love it and I didn't hate it. I just worked, took my pay, went to school, and went home.

At least that's the way it was for two months.

After those two months, "Jessica" began to work during the same hours as me. She was about my age (I was 22), maybe twenty five, tops. She didn't work in the stock room (it was just me back there, with one or two other college guys), but worked the front. She wasn't the manager, or even a supervisor, but she SWORE she was in charge of me.

She made it known to everyone, even customers, that she graduated with an associates degree in fashion marketing from FIDM. I suppose it's a big deal but I was thinking girl if you're a college graduate why are you bragging about it as if it has something to do with you folding jeans and ringing people up at the register? She talked like she was fashion expert and in the "fashion industry," and would talk about the New York or Paris fashion weeks in a familiar way that implied that she just got of the plane after attending these events personally. You know the type, the kind that talks about famous fashion designers by their first name, as if they knew them.

Well she always criticized the way I wore the jeans because I didn't tuck in my T-shirt like the mannequin, or that I work Chuck Taylors on my feet instead of the little leather Sperry Topsiders knockoffs we sold for $300.

We were given a clothing allowance as employees. As a stockperson, I was allowed three complete outfits for free, everything from tops, to underear, to socks, and pants (but not shoes). If I wanted more and it was specifically for wearing at the store, I could mark it as a "uniform purchase" and have the price deducted from my check a little at a time. This was advantageous because they wouldn't charge you tax for them, and charge you only a third of the retail price.

Uniform Purchase was distinctly separate from "Store Discount," for which we also received a percentage off, but it wasn't the incredible 66% discount we got for uniform purchases.

Jessica would snicker at me when I took over register for someone, shake her head or roll her eyes at me as if I looked really ugly. I'm always thinking, whatever girl, you wannabe model you aren't even hot and you're not the boss, who are you? But I held my tongue.

She'd also complain if I was supposedly not fast enough in grabbing a size medium from the back because a customer is requesting the dress and all we have on the floor are smalls and larges. She'd trash me to the customer and when I showed up would sarcastically say "finally!" and turn to the customer with a "see what I have to put up with?" expression.

She was especially mean if any customers got chatty with me and treated me with respect. And if those customers were female and were getting flirty with me, Jessica would be a total cockblock.

The real manager, Paula, had their own issues to deal with beyond petty bickering between a stockboy and an entry level sales associate with delusions of "Project Runway" grandeur. The assistant manager, another fashion industry wannabe named "Heather," was just like Jessica, but thankfully I hardly interacted with her. According to my coworkers, Heather was just as bad as Jessica.

Even though I didn't plan on making this store my career, and even though Jessica didn't bother me THAT much, I thought it won't hurt to get this bitch fired.

To her face, I'd just smile and act like I was following her orders happily, or didn't mind when she would point at me rudely, or snap her fingers at me like she was calling a dog.

Jessica would always hear a directive from one of the managers, and then go around telling the other employees what to do, as if they didn't have ears. She'd try to act as if it was HER directive. LOL.

Her coworkers who were the same "rank" as her would sometimes vent to me about how Jessica acted like she was in charge, when in some cases she had even less time in the company than other employees on the floor.

I noticed that when I arranged clothes in back, especially big ticket, desirable clothes that were seen in magazines in our company's advertisement campaigns, she'd "order" me to set aside things in her size.

I'd do it, because it's my job to set aside things if employees want to buy them outright at a discount or put it as a uniform purchase.

Whenever an employee was on register (really, a big Ipad with a cash drawer beneath), you could tap in a code and the register would show a rundown of every non-customer transaction that employees performed that day, and with a few more keystrokes, their transactions over MANY days. The managers knew this code, of course, and I'll assume Jessica knew the code too because Heather shared the code with her.

I WASN'T supposed to know the code, but I did, because there's a mirror in the wall behind the register, and I was re-stocking paper handbags behind Heather when I saw her tap in her four digit code. She assumed I was stupid and didn't understand the incredibly complex wizardry that is a two year old, low-end spec Ipad.

I knew Jessica was getting rung up for "uniform purchases" when she should have been getting rung up for regular employee discount.

She assumed that when I set aside all those expensive items for her, that I was too dumb to know what she was doing, just because I might have something of a mouth breather countenance.

Even if I look on the surface like a fugitive from the trailer park, something told me Jessica wasn't going to be using $800 heels, a $500 dress, and $1200 motorcycle jacket while working at the store.

And anyway, I asked around. No one saw Jessica wearing any of the truly fancy clothes she bought at our store at what the other employees assumed was simply a regular employee discount.

I thought maybe she was being honest, too. It WAS possible, after all, because I didn't always work with her. Maybe she wore evening dresses to work on her other shifts? Whatever, I decided to make sure.

One time when everyone was busy doing other stuff and the store had to resort to putting me on the register, I typed in Heather's code and pulled up Jessica's purchases. As I suspected, she had bought thousands of dollars worth of our store's best items, but put them all as "uniform purchases" and not at her regular discount.

So I swiped "print" and the register switches from the regular tape to the 8.5"x11" printer beneath the counter, and a complete rundown of all of Jessica's purchases come out.

I highlight all the most expensive items that she was charged for "uniform purchase" (such as, her $1200 jacket would only be $300, and even that was tax free and she got to pay it little by little).

I knew that my manager, Paula, wasn't exactly a nuclear physicist and she was more interested in moving up the chain of command to be working at a job higher than store manager in the company, so as long as her store's sales numbers looked good she didn't care what her assistant Heather did.

Except, if it was a violation of company policy that might reflect badly on her.

I knew Heather was in on Jessica's scam because you're not allowed to ring yourself up at the store, you have to have someone else do it, and none of the other associates would want to conspire with her for fear of getting fired or worse.

To make sure, I printed HEATHER's purchase history too. I didn't see Heather as often as I saw Jessica, but I could also see really glaring red flags on her purchase report. Like, she bought a $900 nightclub dress as a uniform purchase, which I'm quite sure she never wore to work. I did the same highlighting on suspicious items as I did with Jessica's.

Then, because none of this was REALLY my business, I was just a part time asshole who worked in the stockroom, I waited for the most fun opportunity to lower the boom.

Jessica got on her little bluetooth earpiece that she wears on he sales floor that she thinks makes her look like a VIP, and says, "OP, I'm going to need XXX in a size small, customer waiting, get the lead out." So I bring the item, and Jessica says I'm "not passing muster." I thought wow Jessica you sounded really 1940s there, you wannabe pinup girl LOL.

After the customer leaves, Jessica says, "I'm going to need you to go on a trash run and sweep out the receiving bay. And I need you to cover Annie's lunch."

I laugh and tell her, "who died and made you supervisor, you fucking headass burnout?"

She looks like she was the fucking Crypt Keeper for a second and that she wanted to punch me, before she remembered that I'm 6'2" and outweigh her by a hundred pounds.

She hisses, "You are SO fired, you fucking geek. Heather's going to hear about this."

I tell her, "Fuck you, I'm going to lunch."

And I clock out and leave.

When I come back, I see Jessica immediately get on her little earpiece.

Before I even reach the stock room, Heather is there, and the manager Paula intercept me.

"Annie, can you cover register? We have an urgent matter to deal with."

I know I'm supposed to be fired.

Which is why, during my lunch, I went to the copy place and made PDF scans of the printouts I made for Jessica and Heather. I had all the corporate bigshots' emails. They were in the new hire handbook all of us get when we start working. I saved a draft to each but didn't hit SEND yet. I had the printouts as attachements. In the BODY of my email, I described exactly what had been going on. I did send ONE email. And that was to Paula the manager, herself.

But I didn't press SEND until we were on our way to the employee break room.

Paula tells me, "OP, Heather sent me a text that says you were verbally abusive to Jessica. Heather herself says that Jessica has complained to her on numerous occasions that you are a substandard employee, and only her own, personal kindness has presented her from firing you. I came in myself to see if you have anything to say in order to save your job."

It's been a couple of years so of course that can't be exactly what she said, but it was something typical and rehearsed and faux-professional that any low-level boss would say when trying to sound important.

I said I didn't have anything to say in my defense, and that in fact I quit.

Jessica and Heather looked surprised, but then Jessica started smiling.

Paula looked disappointed, and said, "I'm very sorry to hear you say that. You may collect your last..."

"Oh, but before I go, I think you should look at these printouts. I know you don't spend a lot of time studying this stuff, but I thought you might find it interesting. It's the last three months of Jessica's and Heather's employee purchases. Notice how they always ring each other up, and notice all that stuff they're claiming to use as uniforms. If you're having trouble understanding it, I explained it in an email I sent to your cellphone. You should have it already, if you check.

I have the same email ready to go to Dan and Pam and Kimberly and Victor and Kevin but I haven't sent it in yet. I was hoping you could look it over and email me back when you're ready, I mean if you want me to edit anything."

Then I got up and left.

Later that afternoon, my phone was ringing.

It was Paula.

She was practically crying, telling me, please don't send those emails, "I've fired Heather and Jessica. They're GONE. And please don't quit. Please don't tell anyone about--"

I tell her to relax.

I already quit. And I'm keeping my mouth shut.

A few days later, I showed up for my final check. I learned from one of the sales associates that corporate Loss Prevention was called in (our corporate office is only a few miles from the retail location) to interview both Heather and Jessica about their fraud.

In lieu of arrest and heavy fines for what amounted to outright theft and fraud, they were simply fired and unable to use the company as a reference, and due to being fired for cause, could not file for unemployment.

Paula was actually in the store that day, and practically ran to me to thank me for "keeping this scandal at a store level. It's been handled."

I told her no problem. What I didn't tell her was that I never did delete those drafts.

She offered me a reward of free merchandise.

No thanks.

I'm going to look awfully silly in those dainty little suits at my super cool new job of working at Sizzler.

It all ended okay.

A year later I finished my degree, and now I'm doing what I really want to do. Except now at my job, guess what we have to wear. Yeah. Dainty little suits.

I wear socks, though.

I would have never torpedoed Heather and Jessica if they just left me alone to do my job in peace, and didn't try to feel big and important at my expense.

I would have left them to live in their self-medicating lies, live and let live.

Other than some difficult customers, people like Heather and Jessica are what make working retail such a nightmare for so many.

And that's why I feel no guilt about destroying them.

I'm sure Jessica had lots to talk about at that year's Milan Fashion Week.

Hold this L, bitch.

****************

TL;DR: I was stockboy at a fancy clothes store. A low level associate would always boss me around and call me stupid even though she wasn't in charge. I found out she was stealing from the store. I was mean to her on purpose so that I'd be called in to a manager meeting to be fired. I quit, and presented proof to the manager that the associate and the assistant manager were both thieves. They both got fired. I began work at Sizzler.

(source) story by (/u/SaggingSkinnyJeans)

[infinite-indie-horror]

38 hour shopping spree scene 4

Trinity and Mya (in the same clothing store Nicky and Maritza were in)

Mya: Ugh! Where did they go?

Trinity: Where did who go?

Mya: *surprised* Uh- uh no one…just…I want to go somewhere else.

Trinity: Okay, sure. Where?

Mya: Um...Maybe...Let’s try the shoe store.

Trinity: You like those shoes? Those are basketball shoes.

Mya: ...So?

Trinity: Nothing, I just didn’t know you liked those shoes.

Mya: Well I do. Surprise.

Trinity: Mhmm. No need to get snappy.

Mya: *walks to the Nike store* Come on, slowpoke!

Trinity: I’m coming, I’m coming. Calm down.

Mya: You’re going too slow; they could be gone by then!

Trinity: Who could be gone?

Mya: *ignores her and continues walking*

Trinity: Ugh, never mind.

Enzo and Aaron

Enzo: *panting* I think...we...lost him…

Aaron: Yeah…

Security: *sneaks up behind them* CODE NUMBER 35

Aaron and Enzo: *scream and run away*

Security: FAILURE TO YIELD TO OUTRAGEOUS BARGAINS!

Aaron: *pushes Enzo into a random store*

Enzo: Hey! Uh- *looks around* Oh.

Aaron: I just saved your butt.

Enzo: Thanks I guess.

Aaron: You’re not welcome.

Enzo: *scoffs*

Worker: *irritated* You knocked over a shoe stand.

Aaron: Oh I-

Enzo: *whispers to Aaron* I do the talking!

Aaron: Pfft.

Enzo: Sorry sir, we’ll pick it up.

Worker: *walks away*

Aaron: *mocking* ‘Sorry sir, we’ll pick it up’; you’re such a kiss-up.

Enzo: Am not!

Aaron: Are too!

Enzo: I am not! Now, shut up before segway dude finds us.

Aaron: What store are we in anyway?

Enzo: *looks around* The Nike store, the one we were supposed to go into in the first place. *sigh*

Aaron: There’s Mya and Tri-

Enzo: *runs over to Trinity* TRINITY

Aaron: -nity. *follows him*

Trinity: Stop, don’t be so loud.

Aaron: You’re so extra, Enzo.

Enzo: *ignores him* Trinity, this thing is driving me crazy.

Trinity: *skeptical* What kind of...thing?

Enzo: *points at Aaron* This thing.

Aaron: *waves* I’m a thing now.

Trinity: Come on Enzo, it can’t be that bad.

Aaron: Did he forget to add that a security guard on a segway is chasing us?

Trinity: *scolding* What did you do?

Aaron and Enzo: Absolutely nothing! *overlapping* I have no idea- we were just standing and arguing- the security guard is just creepy.

Mya: *is not even paying attention*

Trinity: Right...You must’ve done something.

Enzo: *protesting grunt*

Aaron: *shakes his head*

Trinity: Okay, okay! Maybe not, but it’s better to ask him why he’s chasing you than to just avoid him completely. That makes you seem more suspicious.

Enzo: But- but!

Trinity: *exasperated sigh* Just do it.

Aaron: *snickers* Just do it…I get it.

Trinity: I have to deal with her over here. She’s looking for someone, but she won’t tell me who.

Enzo: Oh-

Aaron: Probably Nicky.

Trinity: Why?

Aaron: I probably shouldn’t tell…but-

Enzo: *pushes Aaron to the back of the store*

Aaron: Ouch! Get off me!

Trinity: *sigh*

Enzo: *whispers* I just saved your butt, man.

Aaron: *whispers* Is the guy coming?

Enzo: He was right. there.

Aaron: We should go, then.

Enzo: We didn’t even get my shoes though!

Aaron: Once we get him off our tail, we can buy you shoes. We just need to distract him from us somehow.

Enzo: Uh, how?!

Aaron: I don’t know yet but-

Security: *is right in front of them*

Aaron and Enzo: *scream*

Security: *cornering them with segway* You’re in violation of mall code number 47.

Aaron: *shaky* A-and what might that be?

Security: *points ticket gun at them*

Enzo: *screams again*

Aaron: Don’t you point that thing at me!

Security: *shoots*

Aaron: *doges it*

Enzo: *gets hit in the heat with a ticket* Ugh!

Aaron: *rips it off his forehead*

Security: Failure to cover your face with oversized sunglasses.

Aaron: *reads ticket* Seems legit.

Enzo: ‘Legit’? ‘Oversized sunglasses’?

Security: You need to come with me.

Aaron: Heck no! *grabs Enzo and speeds out of there*

Security: *follows close behind them*

Aaron and Enzo: *scream past the store Nicky and Maritza are in*

Maritza: Did you hear that?

Nicky: *monotone* Hear. What.

Maritza: Will you please? You wanted to come here.

Nicky: *chuckles humorlessly* I distinctly remember you wanting to-

Maritza: *gives death stare*

Nicky: *uneasy* ….Wanting to do what I wanted, which was totally going here, heh.

Maritza: *smiles* That’s right. *looks away to look at rollerblades*

Nicky: *behind her back mimics her with hand mouth* *falsetto* ‘You wanted to come here.’ Yeah right.

Maritza: *whips her head around* What?!

Nicky: Nothing! Nothing...at all.

Maritza: Hmph. Good.

Nicky: *eye roll*

END OF SCENE 4