#anyways thinking about Ollie a lot lately

[joekeeryswife]

Hi I wanted to request Felix and reader getting into a huge fight over rumors of him and India hooking up. Lots of angst that leads to fluff😭 thank youuuu

The party - f.c

hello honeys! first Felix imagine eeek. FELIX DOES NOT DIE AT THE PARTY IN THIS FIC! i’m too excited. i hope you like how i interpreted your request🫶🏼 anyways, i hope you enjoy this imagine! (lmk if i should make a taglist for Felix!)

“Venetia, have you seen Felix? i cannot find him anywhere” you had been looking for Felix everywhere. you had left his side for two seconds to get a drink and when you came back he was no where to be found.

“i saw him with Ollie and i think her name is India? find Ollie, he will know where he is” Venetia said as she scanned the room to see if she could see her brother. you furrowed your brows, India was here? Felix hadn’t told you India was coming.

in the two summers you had grown incredibly close with Venetia, she was the sweetest girl and you were lucky that she was your boyfriends sister. “i’ll keep looking but if you see him, please tell him i’m looking for him” Venetia nodded “of course, don’t worry about India. i didn’t know she was coming either. but good luck okay?” she winked.

the house was huge, one of the biggest houses you’d ever seen and finding him would be nearly impossible without some sort of indication as to where Felix was. you went into the garden eyes darting in every direction seeing if you could see the tall boy anywhere but it was no use, it was like he completely vanished.

“y/n darling, are you okay?” you heard Elspeth say as you huffed, you turned to look at her and nodded slightly. “yeah i’m okay, i’m just looking for Felix is all” she smiled “he couldn’t of gone too far, don’t worry about him. i saw him with Ollie and some girl, maybe check the library? or the maze?” you nodded and thanked her as you started making your way toward the maze.

the maze was where you and Felix liked to go when you wanted some alone time. even though you both loved spending time with his family, sometimes the two of you just wanted to be alone and the maze was the perfect place for the.

as you started making your way through the maze you saw Oliver walking back out. “Ollie thank god, have you seen Felix? i’ve been looking for him everywhere” he jumped when he saw you “y/n, what are you doing here?” his thick accent filling the quiet maze.

“Elspeth told me you’d be in here and she said guy were with Felix. is he down here-” you started to walk down the maze but Oliver quickly stopped you. “y/n you don’t want to go down there” your heart started pounding.

“why?” you looked at him and by the look on your face you knew something was happening. “he invited India here. me and Felix had a fight and the two of them came in here. when i came here to apologise the two of them were hooking up. i’m so sorry”

you felt your eyes fill with tears and your heart dropped. Felix was cheating on you? you knew the two of them had some sort of history before you and Felix got together but that was two years ago. you felt your chin quiver and a few tears slip down your face. just as you were about to walk away Felix and India came round the corner.

Felix saw you and the smile on his face dropped when he saw your face. you had tears rolling down your cheeks, he quickly started making his way toward you but you just shook your head and started walking out of the maze.

“y/n sweetheart what’s the matter?” he called out but it was too late, you’d ran off. Felix was confused, Oliver had been told by his mum that he could invite anyone he wanted so he invited India and a few other girls from college.

he left India standing there to chase after you, he was still utterly confused as to why you were crying. he brushed past Oliver who felt like he had succeeded, he had tricked you into believing that Felix had cheated on you which would no doubt lead to the two of you breaking up which mean Oliver could have Felix all to himself.

he saw you running into the house, brushing past the hundreds of people which filled practically the whole house. Venetia saw you crying and was confused, what could have happened in that short amount of time.

Felix lost you in the crowds of people but spotted his sister and briskly walked toward her. “Venetia, have you seen y/n? she was crying and i need to make sure she’s okay” she frowned “i think she went to your bedroom but i’m not too sure, she went in that direction” by the time she had finished her sentence he was already gone, running off to his bedroom to find you.

he ran up the stairs to his bedroom and put his ear to the door, he could hear your small sobs and his heat broke. he knocked on the door and walked in, seeing you sat on his bed with your suitcase half packed with your belongings. “what’s the matter? why are you packing your stuff?” he frowned.

“i don’t know Felix, why don’t you tell me?” his frown deepened. “don’t act so innocent okay? i know everything. and it’s a shitty move that you brought her here. you have no idea how embarrassing this is” he could control the small smile that formed on his face as he saw your jealousy peak through. he thought maybe you were jealous that India was here, not that he was cheating on you with her.

“what? are you a little jealous?” he smirked “i can’t believe you’re making a joke about this right now. i’m going home” his face fell. he made his way over to you “what happened, i’m sorry for whatever i did” he pouted but you scoffed and rolled your eyes “yeah well i don’t think sorry is gonna cut it this time Felix”

“okay i seriously have no idea what you are on about. why are you so upset” he tried to sit next to you but you scooted away from him. a whole batch of fresh tears filled your eyes, your head fell into your hands as you tried to hide how hurt you were. “come on baby, talk to me” he placed his hand on your leg and stroked it gently.

“don’t call me that, not after what you did” you pushed his hand away from you as a few tears fell. “what did i do? you’re confusing me” you looked at him with bloodshot eyes “you slept with India.” he looked at you and burst out laughing “what?” you wiped your tear stained cheeks which probably had mascara all over them.

“Oliver told me that you invited India here and that you two slept together. this isn’t funny Felix, i’m serious. i’m going home tomorrow” you sniffled and he shook his head “Oliver told you that? and you believed him?” you shrugged “well, the two of you looked very friendly when you came walking around the corner so yeah i believed it”

“that is the silliest thing i’ve ever heard. i would never ever do that to you.” he placed his hand on your cheeks and placed a delicate kiss on your lips. “i’m too in love with you to cheat on you” he kissed you again.

“why did Oliver say that? he said that you invited India and that he went into the maze to find you to apologise because you two argued and then he said that you two were having sex” Felix frowned “what? having sex in the maze? no that’s not what happened at all” he shook his head.

“Oliver invited India and he got mad because she rejected him, we argued because i told him to not invite her and he did it anyway. i knew her being there would upset you. i was only being nice to her because her friends left her” he explained, his hands falling from your cheeks.

“i’m sorry i was so mean to you” he shook his head “im sorry that i laughed at you, i honestly thought it was just because you were jealous i didn’t realise Oliver told you that. ill speak to my parents, see if they can get rid of him early” he smiled.

“you know i love you, don’t you?” his eyes started into yours, he hated that you were hurting. you nodded “i love you too” he kissed you passionately.

[oleander-nin]

Yandere ROTTMNT Vampire Headcanons

A/N, not important: I am so sorry this is so late. I haven't been doing very well lately. I have one more vampire thing in the works, and I'm also going to start getting as many of my requests done as possible. Feel free to ask questions if you need clarification or want a certain thing answered. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

CW: Food insecurity, withholding of food, vampires, bites, dark themes, violence, yandere

Words: 1696

Summary: Yandere ROTTMNT Vampire Headcanons

Tag list: @f1oricide @itsyagurlchip @lordfreg @acutiewithagun @rottmnttmnt2012 @lixnininotnay

Michelangelo:

Mikey tries to hide it from you for a while, mostly because he doesn’t want you to be aware of his added abilities. He thinks it’s just funny now when you try to plot an escape or fight back, since now you really have no chance. Most likely, you never even realized he was a vampire until he first sinks his fangs in your wrist.

He thinks biting you is like, subtly romantic since you’re more or less blessing him with your blood. You’re allowing him to live off your own life, and it just pulls him further into his delusions of love. Obviously you’d fight back harder if you truly hated him. I mean, so far, he only has to chain you down!

Mikey will constantly talk about your future with him. Now that he’s going to live forever, he knows he actually means it when he says he’s never leaving your side. He’ll track down the original mutant to get them to infect you, ensuring that you’ll be with him until the sun goes out. He’s absolutely giddy at the thought, updating you every day on his hunt for the mutant until he finds them.

Before he can infect you, he’s even clingier than before. His skin always feels cold now, so he’s drawn to your natural warmth and just likes to be near you.

Watches you sleep a lot as he lays with you. Now that he can see in the dark, he doesn’t want to waste a single moment where he could be admiring you.

Once he finally turns you, he’s ecstatic. His only grief is that he can’t feed from you any more, but he’s plenty happy with the certainty you’ll never be able to leave him.

If you complain about being turned, he’ll get upset. He did this for you! He ensured both of you would be together forever more, and now you’re being ungrateful. He’ll pout for a while, trying to convince you of all the ways your life is better now.

He’ll withhold blood from you if you misbehave. Because you obviously can’t hunt yourself, you rely on Mikey to get you your food. If he thinks you’re being unfair, or aren’t listening, he’ll conveniently ‘forget’ to get enough food to feed you as well.

He gets surprised when you fight back more after being turned, your enhanced strength and speed making him question his choice for a small while. He doesn’t like that you have a better chance of leaving now. He obviously wins, but he’s afraid he’ll slip up and you’ll get away. He keeps you chained tighter for a while, at least until you’ve calmed down. No matter how long that takes.

Donatello:

He doesn’t tell you of his new infection, but he doesn’t hide it either. It’s just another mutation to him, one that’s more beneficial in a lot of ways once he realizes how much more he can do. He doesn’t really see why he should tell you, especially when you’re fighting him at every turn anyways. You’ll probably find out after seeing him storing blood bags in the fridge in his lab, which causes you to freak out.

Once you’re aware he’s a vampire, he’ll start feeding off you more since he finds it more convenient than going out. He likes holding you and just sinking his teeth into your shoulder while he works. It keeps you both still and close, and it prevents him from having to find his own food. He claims the prolonged contact helps you both bond whenever you try to fight him.

Donnie is obsessed with getting you infected as well. He’s terrified of losing you somehow now that he knows he doesn’t ever have to. He’ll hunt down the original mutant to get you bit, not even telling you of his plan until you’re already bit. He doesn’t want to give you a chance to try something stupid before he’s able to secure your place by his side, even if he knows he won’t be able to feed on you anymore.

He has two new punishments for you now that you joined him in the undead. While he isn’t afraid to withhold blood from you for misbehaving, he’s more likely to either force feed you normal food, which tastes awful and can make you nauseous, or he’ll only give you human blood. Both options leave you paranoid with the blood/food he gives you. If you ever try to refuse what he gives you, he’s not afraid to force it down your throat himself.

Threatens to give you blood from your family or friends if you continue to try and cause problems. While he wouldn’t ever really want to actually give you blood from a loved one, he’s not above lying and telling you the blood you're drinking is from them.

The new strength and speed you gain from being turned makes Donnie paranoid. Theoretically, you now have a better chance at escaping. To negate this problem, Donnie makes you wrist and ankle weights to slow you down. At least, until you give him a reason to slow you down permanently.

Raphael:

Raph only feeds off you when he’s too tired to go find his own food. He’s paranoid he’ll drain you, even when his brothers insist it’s impossible. He doesn’t see a reason to feed off you when he has a supply of animal blood at the ready. The difference in taste isn’t a big thing to him, and he doesn’t mind having to find his own food while he’s out. The sewers have plenty of small critters living around.

He’s terrified of hurting you. Raph knows he’s strong, and he’s not always the most sure footed because of his large size. When he accidentally hurt you before, he would coddle you for weeks, but now that he’s nearly twice as strong normally? He knows he’s going to have a lot of accidents, so he practically babies you until he’s adjusted to his new strength. He doesn’t care how suffocating you say he’s being, he refuses to let you be hurt when you don’t need to be.

Waits till you're older to turn you. He wants you to stay human for as long as possible. While he knows turning you would be beneficial as you’d be less likely to get hurt, he doesn’t like the idea of taking your humanity until he has to. Refuses to argue about turning you when he finally does. He mentions it once and doesn’t care how much you protest. He’s let you stay human for years longer than needed. You should be thanking him in his eyes.

Likes to hold you a lot more. He’ll keep you in his arms as he moves from room to room, or be cuddling you whenever you’re both alone. Having you with him forever makes him so happy, and he doesn’t want any time to go by without you feeling loved, or how he perceives loving you anyways.

Hates you when leave his sight. Now that you’re faster and stronger, he’s afraid you’ll do something stupid and try to run. He sees keeping you near him as him protecting you from yourself.

Doesn’t let up on his protective behavior, even though you’re now tougher. He’s not taking any chances with you and your safety. Any plea to leave and go outside is instantly shut down. You’re no longer human, you don’t need to go up top anymore. Your place is with him, forever.

Leonardo:

He doesn’t tell you until he feels it’ll help him. He likes having the extra strength you won’t know about, at least until telling you benefits him. If you’re throwing a fit or have refused to talk to him for a while, he’ll flash his fangs and threaten to drain you until you pass out. After you know, he’ll constantly remind you of his heightened senses and strength. He doesn’t want you to forget how hard it will be to ever leave his side.

Is always a bit worried he’ll get too rough with you and hurt you more than he means to. His upgraded strength makes him more confident, but he doesn’t always remember how much strength he gained. Even as he teases you, he’s hesitant to actually try and mess with you in case he goes too far.

Dry bites a lot. He likes just sinking his fangs in your shoulder while he holds you close, liking the fact you’ll have the imprint of his teeth in your skin for a while. He doesn’t like to feed from you, since it makes him feel like a parasite, but he likes to see the faces you make when he touches the holes his teeth made in your skin.

Waits a while to turn you, mostly because he knows you’ll be able to run faster if you ever do get away. Before he turns you, he’ll start keeping you locked away more. He’ll have you turned while you’re asleep so you don’t even know what happened. In Leo’s opinion, the less you know about this, the better.

He’s ecstatic now that you’re going to be by his side forever. His worst nightmare was losing you, and now he’ll never have to worry about that again. You don’t have to worry about most diseases, death, or being alone now that you have him. Leo treats turning you like a huge favor, ignoring the fact he knows you never wanted it. He plays off hiding it like it was a surprise.

Pretty much solely feeds you animal blood at first, only giving you human if he feels you’re acting out too much. He doesn’t tell you of the change, but he knows it tastes different, and you do too. He doesn’t want to mess with your food too much, since blood is now the only thing you can consume.

If you ever do escape, he’ll probably go straight to an extreme now. You’re stronger, and you're more agile due to the mutation, which makes you harder to contain. He’s not willing to lose you, even if it means hurting you.

[whyse7vn]

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS -

[ ot7 x reader ]

LOSERS 😟

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

y/n: ass or tits?

jk: tits.

y/n: oh?

jk: preferably yours

in my face

all the time

y/n: not all the time

jk: all

the

time.

jimin: is he dunk??

when have jungkook ever been that forward

yoongi: right.

anyways ass

namjoon: what happened to hello

how was your day?

miss you?

jin: tits

y/n: fair

tae: both

i say both

do i?

yes i do

or do i…

um

wait

nvm

okay both final answer

y/n: booo pick one

tae: come back to me

y/n: jimin?

jimin: ass 😌

jk: wrong the answer is tits right y/n?

hobi: is jungkook drunk omg

jimin: RIGHT I WAS SAYING

y/n: hoseok ur answer?

hobi: i have no answer because i’m a feminist 🙏🏻

tae: liar

because i am a REAL feminist i say ass #womenarethebest

y/n: ur all so predictable

thought i would be shocked and surprised

tae: are shocked and surprised not the same thing?

jimin: no?

jin: yes?

yoongi: who cares?

jk: i’m crying

hobi: LMAO

sorry i’m not laughing at you i’m laughing with you

jk: but i’m not laughing

i’m crying

namjoon: why are you crying??

jk: i think i’m drunk

jimin: i could of told you that

jin: who let the loser drink omg

tae: jungkook is borderline an alcoholic and we need to talk about it

yoongi: i prefer not to

let him suffer in silence

y/n: yoongi omg?!

yoongi: *yeah let’s help him 👍🏻

jk: i am nojt and alcoholick

tae: see now he can’t spell

look at the alcohol poisoning his mind the youth these days

namjoon: jungkook had been drinking a lot lately

jk: NO

ony

olly

onl

onlyyy

only every saturday

jin: it’s tuesday?

jk: what

yoongi: hes a grown man i say let him drink his life away

#freewill

jimin: rip bro

jk: rest easy i’ll miss you 💗😭

who died?

y/n: yikes!!!

jin: jungkook this is an invention

hobi: don’t you mean intervention??

jin: didn’t you fall at the grammys??

y/n: HELPOEODO

hobi: WHAT THE FUCK????

jk: what did you in

vvent jin?

jin: THIS IS AN INTERVENTION JUNGKOOK

put the alcohol down you are a light weight and a loser when you are drunk

jk: wJAHT

WHAT

NO

NO

NO

who told you i was dRunk

yoongi: i say this is a problem beyond us guys #letssleep

y/n: now i agree

#movingon

jimin: do you believe that jungkook is princess diana reincarnated?

tae: what is princess diana

y/n: i believe in the jungkook first life theory

jin: jungkook not british wtf

yoongi: no

jk: ipad

namjoon: what the fuck

jimin: i think jungkook isn’t real and we all made him up because we needed someone to bully

jk: i’m am a real

y/n: standing with the first life theory

jin: i stand with the not real theory

yoongi: he’s dead

hobi: robot boy built in space by tiny ants

jk: some times i thin k ants are iN my braiN

hobi: see

yoongi: who ate my pizza?

tae: who would do that omg 😭😭😭?

y/n: was tae

yoongi: figured

namjoon: i am genuinely concerned for all of you

y/n: namjoon is an ass guy

jimin: real

namjoon: ???

hobi: imagine we got jumped by all of nct and seventeen at the same time

y/n: hot

jk: 2 baddies 2 baddies

jin: why would they want to jump us

are we not their idols?

namjoon: you can’t just assume we are everyone’s idols jin

jin: why not?

tell me mr kim namjoon

…

right

stfu

don’t talk to me for the rest of they day

tae: imagine getting stomped on by all of them

y/n: i’m sick of pretending i’m okay with taehyungs freaky little foot fetish

yoongi: agreed

hobi: i say let’s kick him

namjoon lowkey got one too and no one talks about it

y/n: REAL

jimin: SO GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHOS NOTICED

KICK THEM BOTH

jk: wwweowowowwwww

jin: omg forgot about jungkook

where even are you rn bff

namjoon: i do not have a foot fetish

jk: i with my otherR friends Butte dw im nottt replacing u guys

yoongi: he has other friends?

jk: yoongi my BIGGEST HATEFR LRTS TALK ABUTTT UIT

jimin: namjoon you literally post pictures of your feet on the internet for fun like

y/n: just like tae but make it aesthetic

jk: yoongi just saY ur in liove with y/n and go

jin: OMGhwhdhdhdhd

hobi: WOAHSHSHDHHSHDNDND

y/n: NO CUZ YOONGI ME PERSONALLY I WOULD HAVE ITTTT

tae: i have love i want to share

jin: this is not about you tae

omg yoongi typing

hobi: kinda nervous

namjoon: that does not mean i have a foot fetish wtf?

jin: someone tell namjoon to stfu we have bigger problems rn

hobi: namjoon jin said to stfu cuz we have bigger problems rn

yoongi: if i wanted her i could have her just saying

you should be thanking me tbh ur little crush isn’t that much of a secret

y/n: NEHHEHDBFBFBFBBF

hobi: I SCREAMEDDDDDDDDDDD

jimin: DAMNNSNDJ

jin: YOONGI ATE SORRY

tae: i have a crush

jin kicked tae from the gc

jin: he can come back after

jk: wjat I HAVVBBBB Njko nncrudhj

jimin: someone translate i beg im too invested

hobi: fight i say

to the death preferably

yoongi: going to bed

gn y/n

y/n: ur so evil omg

gn yoongi

jimin: NO CUZ JUNGKOOK GONNA CRY WHEN HE READ THIS WHEN HES SOBER

jin: YOONGI JUST DID JUNGKOOK SO FUCKING NASTY OMSHSHSH

hobi: YIKES LAMSKDKOD

namjoon: damn

jin: jungkook wya????

jimin: express your thoughts rn this is a safe place

jk: i canTttty sea

hobi: he’s so fucked up

jin added tae to the gc

tae: let’s run away together

forget all the drama bae just you and me against the world

jimin: omg ok 🥺

tae: ew not u wtf

was taking to y/n

jimin: EW???

tae: ew.

would rather kms

xoxoxox

y/n: you know you can just open a mcdonald’s if you have the money like that’s so crazy

jin: i don’t care for that type of food

they are serving you horseback and pig feet

hobi: did you not eat it yesterday?

jin: don’t let me get you again

hobi: this is a toxic friend group

namjoon: do you guys really think i have a foot fetish?

y/n: come on now…

jimin: 10000%

hobi: there is no doubt in my mind

jin: YEAH

tae: it’s okay bro

namjoon: you are the last person i want comfort from

tae: WTF???

last time i’m ever being nice

fuck you

kys how about that?

hobi: how you like that?

that that that that that that

y/n: where did jungkook go

jin: dead

jimin: crying

tae: idk

namjoon: he probably fell asleep it is like 2 am??

tae: namjoon kinda annoying guys

jin: someone had to say it!!

i agree

namjoon: sorry i am the only functional one in this group?

jin: look at him getting all defensive omg

tae: you cant even cut food right so how functional are you really?

jimin: no cuz remember when he was cutting that fucking carrot omg

namjoon: bye it’s late and u guys are annoying

tae: loser

y/n: cheer up joonie

jin: pussy

…

HELP i feel so bad cuz i was writing an individual one and i just couldn’t think of shit to say writing the gc ones are so much easier but i promise i’ll fix up and write more individual ones i just wanted to release something cuz i’ve been posting consistently lately and don’t want to break the streak so sorry if this one feels a bit rushed love you all comments reblogs and likes are always greatly appreciated and TY for being sosososo nice to me in my inbox entirely grateful love u xoxox

( also pls ignore any mistakes if there are any it is literally almost 2 am and i cant see straight will go fix it later love u )

[am-i-obsessed---maybe]

Mother Of Shadows (Shadow Of A Bluejay Ch. 7)

A lot of backstory in this one and you know what that means... It's oc time! I like to think of Lady Lilith having just a nice evil british accent, real classic villain vibes. Anyway we're getting closer to the end. We've passed the halfway mark at least so don't forget to tell me what you think of this series so far in my ask box👍

I really wanna get some feedback on how it's going so far, especially if you read the original SHadow Of A Bluebird

Series Masterlist

Wordcount: 2.1k

Star City September 21, 14:30 PST

The final bell couldn't have rang soon enough. Today had been miserable. A physics pop quiz, english presentation day and you'd been up late the night before on patrol and to make it all worse it was hot. So very hot.

You were sweating as you walked out of school only to hear a loud honk when you tried to cross the street.

You turned around, trying to find the moron who honked only to see Roy waiting in one of Ollie's less flashy cars.

You ignored him and tried once again to cross only for him to honk again. This time people were looking.

You weren't typically the self conscious type but it was getting really uncomfortable so you gave in, walking over to Roy if only to tell him to shut it with the horn.

As you approached he lowered his window.

"Hey—" He tried.

"What are you doing here?" You questioned.

"I'm picking you up" He said.

"The first day of school was almost a month ago so I'll repeat. What are you doing here?" You asked again and he groaned.

"Just get in the car will you?" He asked but you stood your ground.

"No. Why are you here? You refuse to answer my texts, you don't pick up my calls, you walk off when we try to invite you onto the team and then when you need help you call Kaldur. You didn't even ask me, you went straight to him so why all of a sudden do you wanna see me?" You questioned and you heard another car behind him honk. He was holding up the parent pick up line.

"Will you just get in the car?!" He exclaimed and when you heard the start of another honk you gave in yet again, slamming the car door behind you as you buckled in. Roy drove off and yet no answer.

"Are you seriously gonna make me ask you again?" You asked, you'd taken a seat in the middle of the bench in the back.

"I wanted to say..." His volume fell off as he spoke.

"What?" You asked.

"I wanted to say I was sorry. I shouldn't have ignored you" He said. You weren't expecting that, though your heart hoped for a long time to hear those words. Three months to be exact.

"And the mission with Kaldur?" You asked.

"I called the cave, he was just the one there" Roy said.

"Yeah, so you went and unified the Rhelaias with him." You grumbled

"will you get out of your own ass for a second, this is important" Roy said and you rolled your eyes one last time.

"yeah, you're apologizing, not a common occurrence" You said.

"And I wanted to show you something." He said and turned into an empty parking lot and pulled out a file, handing it to you.

"what's this?" You asked.

"Open it" He said and carefully you did.

It read:

Mother Of Shadows

Project Iteration A-15

"Where did you get this?" You asked. You hadn't heard that name since Dinah took you in.

"I've been investigating the Shadow's dealing since I went solo, found that in an old lab." Roy said, "Now do you wanna get in the front so we can figure out what to do about this together?" He asked.

"You mean like, a mission? Just the two of us?" You asked and he nodded, smiling.

"Just like old times" He said.

Himalayan Mountains

September 22, 04:53 PKT

You looked out over the snowy mountain peak, snatching the binoculars from Roy.

"Are you sure the rest of the file is here?" You asked him.

"Yes. According to my info this is the base they moved their medical facilities to. Since I found the first file in the remains of their previous base the rest has to be here." Roy explained. He covered his usual suit with a white parka to protect from the cold and try to blend in while you simply used your polar stealth suit.

You nodded, giving him back the binoculars.

"Race you to the bottom of the base" You said and jumped down the mountain side.

"Hey, no fair, you got a head start" He complained, shooting a grappling arrow down to the base of the base and grappling down after you.

When Roy first gave you the file you were skeptical, you didn't want anything to do with the League Of Shadows especially Project MOS, the project that created you.

20 years ago Ra's Al Ghul went looking for a way for his shadows to be able to go toe to toe with the super powered heroes that appeared. The original heroes, the Justice Society didn't bother Ra's. But the Justice League, that was an issue. They thwarted him and his plans and he couldn't have that so he tried to create his own super powered shadows. He recruited a team of scientists who slowly found and isolated a group of genes. They had dozens of test subjects. None of them were successful. Not until you.

To no one's surprise you won the race.

"Beat ya" You said cheekily and Roy rolled his eyes.

"You cheated and we both know it" He said but the smirk on his lips told you it was all jest.

The two of you snuck your way in, working together like a well oiled machine. Three months had passed since you'd so much as had a full conversation with him but the two of you worked as if it'd only been a few minutes.

You made it into the records room without raising alarm and began to look through the filing cabinets.

You groaned, having gone through another row of files, "I can't tell what kind of organizational system this is, we can't just spend hours sifting through this" you said.

"Stop complaining and just look" Roy said and you huffed. The next few minutes were quiet and then the sounds of a body hitting the floor.

"Red Arrow—" You said and gasped as you saw what was in front of you.

Shadows filled the halls, all standing behind a woman, Roy's body unconscious on the floor below her.

You took a step back and collided with the filling cabinets.

When Ra's Al Ghul found his team of scientists he put one of his own in charge, after all he had to make sure that this crew stayed loyal to him with their findings. The woman he placed in charge of Project A- Mother Of Shadows was a woman by the name of Lady Lilith. A Geneticist who claimed she could find the purpose of any gene.

"It has been a long time, my child, have you finally come home?" The woman asked.

"What have you done to him?" You asked, fear flowing into your posture and voice.

"He is only knocked out. He will be fine. You on the other hand... I thought I taught you better than to get caught" She said.

After 14 failed attempts to create her own superhumans Lady Lilith decided that the only way to succeed was to use new donors. Until that point they had only used eggs and sperm from specimens that held the group of genes they discovered were responsible for the development of superhuman abilities. None of the tests born of those specimens survived long enough. Instead they used Lady Lilith as a donor. She did not possess the superhuman genes. Instead She spliced together multiple of the previous donors to create a viable embryo.

The woman motioned for the shadows to enter and two took hold of your arms.

"Come now child, we have tests to run" The woman said. "And bring the other one, we would not want any harm to come to him"

Infinity Island 5 years ago

You stood panting and sweaty in your black stealth suit, the rest of the combatants lying dead on the ground of the training room floor.

Lady Lilith stood on the balcony above, watching happily.

"As promised Great One, a superpowered shadow at your disposal" She said, pointing at you.

You fell to your knees in exhaustion. Still panting heavily. You were only 10 years old. Your body wasn't designed for such extreme exertion though perhaps it was made for it.

"And is flight the only ability they have developed?" Ra's asked.

"Do not misunderstand Lady Lilith, this quite satisfactory but I only think, what use is flight alone against super strength or speed?" He continued.

"Give it time oh, Great One. It is still early and the genetic potential for more remains" She said.

League Of Shadows Base, Himalayan Mountains September 22, 07:07

You'd been poked, prodded and examined since the shadows brought you into what appeared the be the base's lab, strapped down to the table. Beside you Roy was laid out, the same tests were being done to him, or maybe they were different, you weren't sure but he too was poked and prodded.

"Alright child, up you go" The voice of Lady Lilith said over a speaker as the restraints around your wrists and ankles opened. You sat up slowly and looked beside you to Roy.

"What do you want mother?" You asked wearily.

"Oh stop asking these silly questions and get up" She said.

She led you out to a training ground where she pushed you down the stairs. As your body fell you jumped into the air, landing niceley at the bottom.

"Let's see just what Canary has taught you darling" She said and clapped her hands, a dozen shadows running out onto the training grounds around you.

The first one tried to tackle you. He failed miserably.

The next attacked with his sword, it soon became your sword and on and on it went, all the while Lady Lilith stood above and watched.

When the final shadows laid unconscious on the ground you looked up, panting.

"What are you doing to Red Arrow?" You asked and Lady Lilith smiled.

"It's so sweet how much you care for that boy, he came all the way here with you so I assume he knows your history, what a surprise how fine he is with it" She commented.

"What do you want mother?" You asked, disheartened.

"Oh it's not what I want dear. It's what you will give" She said.

"I won't come back!" You told her, surprisingly boldly.

"Oh darling we discontinued project MOS ages ago. We work with mercenaries now. Of course someone with your abilities can always come in handy" She said and you understood.

"And what would you do if I said no?" You asked but Lady Lilith laughed.

"well will you?" She asked.

"I'm not the person you trained me to be" You told her and her smile was eery.

"Darling child, if you want to believe a few years with some heroes can undo years of training as well as genetics be my guest but I'm sorry to tell you that unlike the surprisingly accepting Red Arrow the rest of your team may not understand as much" She said, slowly coming down the stairs.

"How do you?" You asked but she tutted and shook her head.

"You didn't think we'd just let Canary take you off without keeping a watchful eye? Before you decide think about what Aqualad would say about your past. What about Kid Flash? Or Robin?" She asked. Once she was close enough she took your face in her palm.

"Do you think the Justice League would trust you if they knew just how many people you've killed?" She asked and you tried to look away. The only ones who knew everything about you were Dinah and Ollie and this was exactly why it was important that it stay like that.

"What about Red Arrow? Does he know? Does he accept you anyway?" She asked and tears began to flow down your cheeks under your mask.

"Please just, don't tell them" You whispered.

"Of course not my child. I would never" She said and placed a small device into a pouch on your utility belt.

"Now, I think it's time you took your sidekick friend home, don't you?" She asked.

Half an hour later you were helping a barely conscious Roy back up a Himalayan mountain.

"We can't just leave" He tried to say but you shook your head.

"I don't care about the file. We were lucky the shadow that got you didn't have time to alert anyone else" You lied.

"Now come on, we're going home" You told him.

[pluckyredhead]

Green Arrow #1 (2023)

I promised to yell my feelings about this issue so here! Are! My feelings!!!

Spoilers beneath the cut, obviously. Also, I won’t be including scans since I want to encourage people to buy this comic. It’s already selling so well that it was expanded from a 6 issue miniseries to 12 issues before the first issue even came out - if sales stay strong, maybe we can get an ongoing!

First off, love Sean Izaakse’s art so so so much, I adore his designs for the characters and the way he makes them move. Roy and Connor’s new looks are a little busy but I forgive him because they have such lustrous hair. (Though I still long for a Connor with a curl pattern.)

Starting with Ollie hitting on Dinah while barely conscious? A+. Also, the bit where he realizes he’s on an island again and is like “HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME???” made me laugh out loud.

I’m not going to lie, on the first double page spread, I’m...not sure why Doomsday is there? Or whose arm is sticking up out of the rubble? Does anyone know?

Why on earth would Dinah call Connor “Hawke?” That line felt really weird to me. Izaakse has been calling him that on Twitter so idk if they’re trying to rebrand him that way or what. Are they making it his new codename? I guess it’s slightly less dumb than “Drake.”

Also, I love the flashback panel of Roy and Connor with their arms around each other, but I am very tired of this thing DC has been doing lately where we see the aftermath of big moments and not the big moment itself. I suppose I shouldn’t complain considering that they nailed the most important reunion in this issue, but I really would have liked to see Connor’s reunions with Roy and Dinah, especially considering that Emiko and Dinah both had basically zero reaction to learning that Roy wasn’t dead. (And in that vein, I’d like to see an actual conversation with Ollie about Connor being ace and not just a flashback panel that’s like “I told my dad, and he was great about it! This will only be addressed annually in Pride issues from now on!” Bonus points for Ollie being very supportive but not 100% getting it and getting a chance to learn.)

JASON SAID THE VAN HAD FINGERPRINTS THAT MATCHED. ROY’S LEAD CAME FROM JASON. Jason and Roy are another set of characters where we were robbed of a good, satisfyingly emotional reunion, but in the single solitary panel we were given of the two of them together, Jason did say he would find Lian, AND HE KEPT HIS PROMISE. Can we please stop discoursing about whether or not he is a good friend to Roy now?

Ollie says that Roy is the greatest marksman in the world and my heart grew three sizes. The last time this came up was 2006ish and it was contested, with the heavy implication that Roy would soon surpass Ollie. I guess he finally made it! I’M SO PROUD. (Although... Shado is the greatest marksperson in the world. I choose to believe that Ollie is using a gendered term deliberately, especially considering what he says to the Manhunter at the end of the issue. Anyway lololol get fucked Merlyn, enjoy being #4.)

“I may have taught Roy and Connor” what did you teach Connor, Ollie? Stop lying.

The flashback panel of Ollie and Dinah fighting back to back is! So! Good! Very Doc Shaner, which is always a compliment.

WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED WHEN LIAN APPEARED

The first time I read this I wasn’t sure if they knew it was Lian, because obviously she’s a lot older than they would have expected. Rereading the panel where the family reacts hits different when you know: the dumbstruck look on Roy’s face! Dinah’s comforting hand on his shoulder! Connor saying “Good form” because he is a PROUD UNCLE! And his little smile on the next page as he wrangles the guy she shot HE THINKS SHE IS SO COOL.

I truly feared that they were going to let her go so Roy’s line, “You threw your first ninja star when you were two years old,” stopped my heart. And then Roy’s speech, besides being heartbreaking, is full of so many great details. I love that he has a sweet tooth and Lian doesn’t. I love the panel of them watching Point Break. I love that they remembered his missing arm in the flashback panel of him mourning Lian.

And on that note, the line “I don’t care how you’re here”...sometimes I get frustrated by DC’s refusal to try to logic their mangled continuity back together  because it feels lazy to me, but here I think it was handled really elegantly. Lian was five and dead and now she’s not; Roy was missing an arm and then he wasn’t and then he was dead and now he’s not. They don’t know why, they’ve accepted that their lives are weird, and they’ve moved on. What’s important to me is that this comic sets out very clearly what is canon and what the characters remember experiencing (short answer: everything, because Roy clearly remembers both pre-Flashpoint and the New 52), because that tells me how to understand their relationships and their choices. I don’t care how they got here either, I just want to know what they’ve lived through.

God, the way he just goes to his knees and gives her all the space in the world. Trusting that she will make the decision that’s right for her, even if it’s one that hurts him. Offering his love on her terms. It’s so perfectly Roy and exactly what Lian needs in that moment.

AND THEN THEY HUG AND I SOBBED FOR TEN MINUTES. Lol @ Izaakse signing this page like “Yeah. You’re welcome.”

AND THEN A FAMILY GROUP HUG. I appreciate the acknowledgement that Lian and Cheshire interacted in Catwoman, because I was so frustrated that nothing came of that.

“They’ll never let our family be together.” This is such a smart move! If you only have 6 (now 12!) issues to bring back Ollie AND Lian AND Connor AND Mia AND (I hope) bring Cissie into the fold for the first time, giving all of the various deaths/disappearances/continuity hiccups one unified source is a great way to fit them all into one story.

And then: DYSTOPIAN OLLIE!!! Dystopian Ollie is always a good move! Dystopian Ollie wants you to use gender neutral threats! Dystopian Ollie has a chainsaw arrow! I love Dystopian Ollie.

ANYWAY THAT WAS A GOOD COMIC AND I WANT THE NEXT ISSUE IMMEDIATELY, THE END.

[patheticbatman]

Part One

I’m very proud of these dolls, and I’m also leaving them at my parents’ house, so I did a little photoshoot with some books as background so I can have nice pictures of them.

Each book is one that is based on their fairy tale, they exist in some form in that universe, or I genuinely think that character would read it. It cannot be their origin book.

Also, they ALL have to be books I have read. If the other books are more like companion books though, then I disregard that rule. They cannot share series either.

First up is Snow White with Fairest, by Gail Carson Levine. Funnily enough, I read this book before Ella Enchanted. I love it though! I always remember the singing and weird-reading-to-make-the-audience-laugh game :).

Second is Cinderella with Cinderella is Dead, by Kaylynn Bayron, and a little toy dog, because the Disney version has a dog. It’s a wonderfully revolutionary and queer take on a world that supposedly worships Cinderella, but actually uses her memory as an oppressive tool. Like an unwilling martyr.

Third is Alice with After Alice by Gregory Maguire (the dude who wrote Wicked). I have other Alice in Wonderland adaptions, but I haven’t enjoyed the others like this one. If you like ratfics, you may enjoy After Alice.

Fourth is Wendy with Peter and the Sword of Mercy, by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson. I debated on whether to do the first book of this series or not, but Wendy only appears in this book, so I leaned toward this one instead. Out of all my Peter Pan adaption books, I like my one about Hook as a boy in Eton best. But only Wendy’s dad appears in that, and I don’t think she would read it, so I went with this series instead. I wrote a book report about the story set in the desert Kingdom when I was like 9, I loved it a lot.

Fifth is Aurora with While Beauty Sleeps, by Elizabeth Blackwell. It’s an inventive take that I enjoyed quite a bit. Explores how expectations can be used in your favor, etc.

Sixth is Eilonwy, with The Princess, The Crone and the Dung-Cart Knight, by Gerald Morris. I know The Black Cauldron is based on a book series, but I’ve only read a snippet, and I don’t have a copy of any of the stories anyway. So she gets to have a late - Arthurian novel.

Seventh is Ariel (she has six sisters so this pleases me) with The Hothouse Princesses by S. A. Hemstock. The author wrote some of the best Steven Universe fanfic, so I bought her first published story when it came out. Idk how it isn’t a bigger hit - it’s about a princess who was raised by peasants, gets discovered, wants to go back, and instead gets shunted off to a misogynistic, colonialistic, colorist princess finishing school, where she finds out some serious conspiracy shit about fairy godmothers. Anyway, Ariel often felt oppressed by her dad and curious about the Human world, so I imagine it would catch her eye.

Eighth is Belle with Lindworm, by Jenny Prater. Coincidentally, this is another case of me reading a superb fanfic writer’s work (Batfam this time) and instantly snapping up their OG work. I have a book of short stories that had a more direct BATB parallel story, but I was trying to stick with Novels. In any case, this is the story of the maiden who married the Lindworm, and what the Royal family does once they have to reckon with the nations of the dead princesses.

Ninth is Jasmine with the School for Good and Evil, by Soman Chainini. Her character really only appears in the prequel, but I wanted to acknowledge this really great series properly. I read the entire thing this summer, and I love its thematic approaches. In any case, I feel like this series’ approach to beauty, freedom and other dichotomies would pique her interest.

Tenth, we have Gabriella (Ariel’s mermaid BFF) and her Sign Language interpreter Olly. I have her human form. Anyway, I decided she might enjoy Wonderstruck, by Brian Selznick. It has Deaf characters and lots to show about the Human World, which I supposed she might enjoy. I found it quite interesting as a kid, and like with all the other Selznick books I own, I used to color all the hair, clothes and eyes in, lol. Listen. I had a lot of time on my hand and consistent access to Sharpies XD.

I’ll link the other parts to here when I post them!

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

[olivine-rain]

Art not super related to the text, I just felt that knifecat summed up the energy I get from Fred a lot of the time.

Anyway, happy belated birthday, Fred. Sorry this is late, I've been even more scatterbrained than usual since life has been rough for me the past few months. (I actually spent the majority of our AstralLine launch week recovering from surgery in the hospital; so my introduction to Dracula Flow was clouded in a haze of drugs that seems rather appropriate. Endometriosis ain't nothin' to me man.)

I just wanted to throw in my words of appreciation for all the stuff you produced all these years. The community you've fostered both in your chat and with the group of creators you've gathered around you have offered me a great deal of comfort (and uncomfiness) over the past couple years- as you have with your works, yourself. I know it's hard to see the good that you've done sometimes, but any time you are struggling, just think of all the wonderful people you've gathered around you. There's no way in the world that you aren't doing something good with that many wonderful people who care about you. That really doesn't happen on accident.

Urg this is so sappy. Uhm. Cum! Farts! Twink is small, tape to wall! etc.

~Ollie

[theflyingfeeling]

hiiiiii, sending this somewhat late in my timezone, so good morning!!! 💕💖💘💖

it seems that the guys had a day off yesterday, how do you think allu and olli spent theirs? 👀🎤

maybe they went for a romantic walk through the city, holding hands while olli filmed their bandmates with his dad cam for an upcoming vlog 💕 or maybe they had a casual lunch date, just the two of them finally enjoying some peace and quiet together 💖💕

or maybe they asked their bandmates for some alone time and fucked like their lives depended on it in the big bed at the back of the RV (I mean... it's reasonable since at the time I'm writing this I haven't seen any stories uploaded by allu or olli which means they were obviously too busy fucking each other's brains out instead of idk going sightseeing like the rest of the band y'know?)

anyways, have an amazing day!!! 🥰💘💖💕💗

hiiiiii good morning!! 🥰💞

I meeeeaan... Not to add any fuel to the fire, but since you wrote this it seems Aleksi did post a story, and well well well would you look at that 👀

literally everyone else who posted yesterday was out and about, while Aleksi's picture has clearly been taken indoors (inside the RV), and since there's no sight of Olli (again 😭), the logical and fairly reasonable conclusion we can draw from this is that Aleksi had fucked Olli so thoroughly and senseless that he could barely hold the phone long enough to take Allu's picture, let alone step outside their little love cave 🥰

and yeah, them specifically asking their bandmates to kindly fuck off so that they can let out some steam and have some much-craved passionate sex is so 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

thank you so much for the morning ask, I'm gonna imagine Olli/Allu fucking the life out of each other on some secluded American parking lot to get through my day 😌💕

(no idea if any crew members posted yesterday, but if there's any proof of Allu and/or Olli sticking their pretty heads outside, pls keep it to yourself and let me live in my delulu thanks <3)

[boysplanetrecaps]

Boys Planet Episode 11: Recap and Guide

Hey, fellow Star Creator! Are you ready to have your heart smashed to smithereens? …. No? Me either. In fact, I'm late getting this recap to you because it was hard to type with my heart next to me in a basin of saline solution. But I managed.

Let’s go!

At 0:38, we start off with the boys hanging out at their dorms after their third mission, high fiving each other and expressing some anxiety about the upcoming eliminations. They have to pack to go home now for a while. The staff has set up a photo booth for them to make some memories.  In case anyone thinks that there’s animosity between Woongki and Zhuang Shai Bo, there definitely isn’t.  

The trainees go back back home, awaiting the next elimination ceremony. 

Pretty sure that’s Ricky, just being mysterious and painting roses in a graffiti covered studio, because how else would Ricky spend his time when he’s not performing?

We spend a little time with Han Yujin and his very popular pretty mother. We also see Keita and Kum Junhyeon hanging out with Eunho from Younite and Hwi from Ciipher -- it seems that Junhyeon used to be a trainee at Rain company and trained with some or all of the Ciipher, which explains how they both know Hwi, but I’m not sure the impossibly faced Eunho fits in (seriously, who has a face like that? He looks like a Bratz doll come to life, in a good way). I also don’t know how we never knew that Junhyeon and Keita have been friends this whole time??? They’re just out having a meal and talking about how young Kum Junhyeon was when they used to train together. We see a lot of other stuff, including Kim JiWoong at a dog cafe, even though he’s apparently allergic to dogs. They’re all visiting with friends and family.

Then we see the guys all packing to go back to Planet Camp, even though many of them know that they probably won’t make it through this elimination ceremony. It’s pretty sad. But remember, they’re all going to be ok, right, team? A lot of them are signed with good companies and will probably debut in 2025, if not sooner. So deep breaths. It’s ok!

Then we visit with Park Hanbin, who is wearing a very soft looking blue sweater, as if anticipating future MNET shows. He says he’s worried about not being able to debut. Park Hanbin, you silly goose. You’re going to debut whether or not you make it into Bepler. Listen to BPR Noona. I know of what I speak.

6:15 Now it’s time for the elimination ceremony!

So, I actually watched the live streaming ceremony, which popped up on my phone as I was getting ready to go to sleep. Cannabis is legal where I live and so I might have been particularly ready to close my eyes, you know? But I watched, my eyes blinking heavily, because I wanted to know! The things the boys were saying weren’t translated, so I was only able to catch the gist. Also, the live broadcast was just a raw feed of them, and without the editing and background music, it felt like I was watching a first rehearsal. 

Anyway, as usual, we start with the boys backstage talking about how nervous they are -- us too, guys -- and then coming out in small groups based on their most recent challenge mission. They do various kinds of schtick, and once their whole team is out they do a combined schtick. It looked heckin’ awkward in the live broadcast, but edited down it looks much better.

Here’s the order they come out:

Kim Tae Rae, Na Kamden, and Zhang Shuai Bo (Switch)

Keita, Park Hanbin, and Yoon Jongwoo (Switch)

Wang Zi Hao, Ollie, and Haruto (Supercharger)

Woongki, Takuto, Seo Won (Supercharger)

Zhang Hao and Lee Jungheyon (Over Me)

Ricky, Chen Kuan Jui, Jay (Over Me)

Sung Hanbin and Han Yujin (Say My Name)

Yoo Seung Eon, Seok Matthew, and Kim Ji Woong (Say My Name)

Hui (Lee Hoe Taek), Hiroto, and Lee Seung Hwan (En Garde)

Kim Gyuvin, Kum Junhyeon, Park Gunwook (En Garde)

And who is their Star Master this time? In the live broadcast, she stood with her back to the camera for just a few seconds and then came in, but of course, in the edited version, there’s 15 minutes of guessing first. 

But it’s Jeon Somi! 

I would impale myself on those spikes every time I moved slightly, but she makes it look good.

If you’re not familiar with Jeon Somi, she is a successful soloist who went through the reality show gamut. First she was on a show called Sixteen, a reality competition show that created the kpop giants Twice (you know, the ones who sing “Feel Special”). She didn’t make the lineup of Twice, but she got pretty popular from being on the show. Then she was on the first season of Produce 101, the precursor of Girls Planet/Boys Planet, and ended up pretty much killing it, taking first place in the final episode and becoming the “center” of project group IOI (pronounced “eye-oh-eye”). Check out their song Very Very Very if you want to see what IOI is like.

After IOI disbanded, Somi became a soloist. I love her song Birthday -- my fella doesn’t like much kpop, but for whatever reason he loves Birthday. (He specifically loves how she she says “eyyy”.) Despite it being a pretty great song, Birthday wasn’t a huge hit because she was “f a a t “ at the time (she absolutely wasn’t, and even if she was, it shouldn’t matter, but people can really be The Worst, and also her stylist didn’t know how to dress a young woman with actual boobs). Anyway she has other songs now, like Dumb Dumb, and she’s frighteningly skinny now, so she’s a lot more successful. I think she’s always been a sparkly fun person. I wish she’d given her cue cards a bit of a read before she came out on stage, but… whatever. Oh, and if you’re wondering, she’s 22, half Korean and half white, and was born in Canada.

The boys go crazy when they realize it’s Somi -- Kamden says he won’t be able to sleep tonight, and a few of the others talk about how tall she is. She’s 5’8, which is fairly tall for a girl, especially in Korea. 

She reads some usual stuff off a cuecard, and then adds, “It’s not easy being on a survival show, is it? I remember HATING this studio myself” (as in, when she was on Produce 101). The boys give her some serious snaps. 

We find out that people in 182 countries voted a total of 31,750,293 votes, and that trainees ranked 1 through 18 will survive. We also find out that during the first phase of the announcement, they’ll only be announcing trainees from 11 through 17 inclusive, which is only seven people, so this is really silly. 

After that, in the live broadcast, Somi said something that MNET translated thusly: “I know how much effort and sweat they have put into this far because not only I but so many world star creators are sending their cheers to them. Believe in your time and the sweat dedicated, and get with it to the end.” That part didn’t make it into the final airing, as far as I can tell, but I think it’s funny. She read it at top speed, sounding like a bored flight attendant reading the same safety instructions for the millionth time, and not looking up from the cue cards once. Maybe that’s why they didn’t air it.

Anyway -- so now that the stakes have been established, we bring up two teams to start with: Switch and Engarde. 

First Round of Eliminations 

Here are the 12 trainees who are waiting to hear their fate, in order of their rank in episode 8:

6 Kim Gyu Vin Love Me Right - K / Love Killa/ En Garde

7 Kim Tae Rae Back Door - K/ Man in Love/ Switch

8 Keita Kill This Love - G/ Zoom /   Switch

9 Park Gunwook Kill This Love - K/ Tomboy/ En Garde

10 Kum Jun Hyeon Back Door - K /Gang /    En Garde

11 Hui Love Me Right - K / Tomboy /En Garde

13 Park Hanbin Hot Sauce - K   /   Law/ Switch

15 Yoon Jong Woo Back Door - K /Home/Switch

20 Na Kamden Back Door - G /Law /Switch

21 Lee Seung Hwan Danger - K/ Gang /En Garde

23 Zhang Shuai Bo Back Door - G/ Feel Special /Switch

28 Hiroto Very Nice - G/ Rush Hour/ En Garde

Somi announces that they’re going to announce the trainee who is 11th place, who got 2,365,604 points. It’s someone who did the killing part.

Then she gives the clue that the person in 11th has the family name “Park.” Well, that’s either Park Gunwook or Park Hanbin. Gunwook doesn’t want to be announced in 11th place; Hanbin would be delighted to be in 11th. So they sort of awkwardly grin at each other from across the aisle. 

At 17:13 And then we find out that it’s Park Hanbin! So they’re both happy! Everyone is proud of him and a little surprised.

Look how happy Z-Bo is for him, and everyone else, too! That’s their fearless leader! 

He says, “I won’t be able to be the shiniest star on Boys Planet, but I want to be the one and only star. Since this could be my last chance to shine the brightest, I’ll try to give a great performance.” Somi tells him he shines brightly already, and his gives her a huge, eye squinting grin. That’s doing to be a “happy memory for a sad day” for him -- one of those happy memories you return to when you need a boost. But hopefully Hanbin won’t have too many sad days in front of him.

Kum Junhyeon says to Park Gunwook, “he didn’t deserve the low ranking,” which is so true. Park Hanbin has been great since the first day. It was just hard to get to know his personality at first.

In the live broadcast, Somi asked him to show his “favorite facial expression,” and he did, but it’s all so weird. Does anyone else think that Kpop is getting a bit too codified? Can there be any mystery or general stage technique that isn’t parsed down into the tiniest bits? Anyway, that doesn’t make it into the final broadcast, which is all for the best 

As Hanbin walks up to lonely seat 11 all by himself, Jay says, “Park Hanbin serves and deserves,” which is a great way of putting it. 

Here’s the floor plan to help you figure out who is sitting where as the episode goes on-- that’s P-Hanbin in 11th. 

This is where the live broadcast ended, so I was a mixture of happy (I was so stoned and sleepy and just wanted to close my eyes) and contented (at least my Park Hanbin is safe!) and furious (seriously, MNET?). But that’s all they gave us, the fuckwits. 

Rank 12 is next, and it’s someone from En Garde, someone who stood out because of best friend energy, so that could be a lot of people. 

We find out that it’s Park Gunwook! He’s fallen from 9th place to 12 -- everyone is shocked, and there’s a silent pause before people start applauding. That peach, Lee Seunghwan, who probably isn’t going to make it through this elimination, gives him a high five and tries to cheer him up, but he looks really sad.

Sad, but still cute! I like the ruffly hair.

Ok, everyone’s super surprised that he fell out of the top9, but I’m not that surprised, really. Don’t get me wrong, I still quite like Park Gunwook and am rooting for him to succeed in life. I’ve heard that some people dislike him, but I think he’s essentially a sweet guy who jokes around in uncomfortable situations. I also think he’s talented, with a loveable face, and I hope that Jellyfish will figure out some way to promote him if he doesn’t make the top 9 here. 

That all said, he’s been showing the same part of himself again and again on the show. It’s that super masculine, powerful style of dancing that he always does, you know? I think people are just a tiny bit tired of the powerful powerhouse of power. I feel that way a tiny bit myself. I didn’t need him to do something super cute like Say My Name or something mega sexy like Over Me, exactly, but I think I would have liked to see him in something more like Switch -- something that requires a different, more lighthearted style of dancing. I think he can do it, so I hope that he can show that in the next episode. 

Who’s next? Rank 15. Who could it be?

It’s someone known for his unique facial expressions, and it’s an extrovert, so it could be a lot of them -- not Keita, Hui, Hiroto, or Lee Seunghwan who are introverts, but any of the rest. (Is anyone else surprised to hear that Kim Taerae is an extrovert? He comes across as more of an introvert -- probably MNET editing striking again.)  Anyway, it could be almost any of these six…

And at 22:45 we find out that it’s Yoon Jongwoo, who had been ranked 15th in episode 8. 

Everyone is super surprised, including Jongwoo himself. I think he was expected to be eliminated after his ignominious treatment in episodes 9 and 10, but seriously, watch his fancam from Switch. He’s such a good dancer and performer. He’d be a benefit to any team he’d be on. I really hope he does a cover of Over Me and puts it up on Youtube. Just putting that out into the universe. 

Kum Junhyeon and Kim Gyuvin have given up on casting spells. 

Who’s next? Rank 16. Who could it be? 

Park Hanbin mutters to himself, “This is daebak.” I should have mentioned this in an earlier recap, but for those of you newish to K-culture, “daebak” means something like “amazing” or “surprising” or even “cool.” Sometimes people just say “daebak” as an exclamation, in which case it means something like “wow!”

Everyone is anxious but Zhang Shuai Bo, who already knows that there is a 99.99999% chance that he is eliminated. He probably didn’t even pack anything in his suitcase. His new brown hair looks nice, though. 

It’s someone who’s rank has fallen, and someone who never had a killing part. That could be a lot of people. 

And at 25:49 we find out it’s Kum Junhyeon. (The Viki subtitler spells his name Guem -- the G/K sound in Korean is sort of halfway between G and K, so you see it either way depending on the transliteration system in use. And there’s a lot of variation in how people transliterate vowel sounds in Korean, which is one of the reasons I learned to read actual Korean sybmbols!)

Kum Junhyeon has dropped a lot from 10th place. I don’t have a specific theory as to why he dropped, but I kind of think that he’s stopped looking like one of the it-crowd, somehow. Put on a team with Gunwook and Gyuvin, he sort of faded into the background. I like Junhyeon a lot -- he’s charismatic, funny, open-hearted, and a really great singer -- and hope he debuts, but I don’t think he’s going to debut with Bepler. I think he knows that too -- he looks like he’s going to cry. 

We hear from each of them. 

Yoon Jongwoo says, “Since I came here without expecting anything, my memories here are so precious. I kept telling myself to be in the final, at least. And I ended up being here. I’d like to thank the Star Creators who support me one more time.” 

Park Gunwook says, “I really wanted to be on stage one more time. My goal coming here was moving on to the final.  Thankfully, I’d be able to join the final with such a high ranking. I’m relieved. I’d like to express my love and gratitude to the Star Creators who support me.”  

Then Somi asks Gunwook to do something aegyo, and he chooses instead to do something kawaii instead. He says, in Japanese, things like “I love you! I like you a lot!” (The on-screen words are transliterated Japanese with Korean translation underneath.)

Side note: “aegyo” is a thing in K-culture. It’s when idols and other performers do over-the-top, cloying, saccharine cuteness as a… mini performance. It’s quite popular among Koreans, and is often requested by variety show hosts, but international audiences often don’t like it. Personally, I don’t like it, but it’s not my culture and it’s not my place to say “stop doing thing because I don’t like thing,” you know? Though I really do wish they’d stop. 

Anyway, Gunwook speaking Japanese spurs Kum Junhyeon to do his speech in Japanese as well, and he sounds like a first semester Japanese student. It’s much cuter than his old “I am 5 years old” shtick, though, I’ll say that. 

So, this group takes their seats, and everyone wonders, Who’s next? But there isn’t anyone else in this group. 

Though the show plays danger music to make it seem otherwise, it’s fair to assume that Kim Gyu Vin, Kim Tae Rae, Keita, and Hui are probably in the top 10. But unless Na Kamden, Lee Seung Hwan, Zhang Shuai Bo, or Hiroto is ranked 18th, they’ve all been eliminated. 

The trainees think that Lee Hoetek/Hui might have been eliminated, but that seems extremely unlikely. The people who’ve been voting for him as of episode 8 are probably going to keep voting for him -- he just hasn’t done enough to attract new people to him. I don’t think he’ll make the final lineup, but I don’t think he’ll be eliminated today.

Then Somi announces that she’s heard that “on a beautiful day, the trainees spent a day full of doubts and suspicion.” 

Oh no.

It’s… 

30:05 FILLER TIME

If you’re not into Kpop -- and even if you are a little into it --  you may not know about the whole ecology that surrounds idol groups. There are these variety shows, such as After School Club and Weekly Idol, shows where idols come on and get made fun of and forced to do silly things, like dance to their songs at 2x speed, or chicken fight, or answer trivia questions, or whatever the show feels like doing to them. 

There’s also a custom of idols creating content specifically for their fans, to hold up their side of the parasocial relationship. They joke around, they play games, they cook or eat food, and most importantly, they talk to the camera like it’s their girlfriend and talk about how much they miss their fans and want to see them again. This stuff makes me uncomfortable, but I know a lot of people like it. 

Anyway, all the “filler” stuff we see on Boys Planet is a good introduction to the kind of content you often see on shows or videos like these. As such, even though it’s filler, it’s actually an audition for a big part of the job that they’ll be doing as idols. Plenty of idols are known as much for their reality show appearances as for their performance skills (if not more so). 

That said, there isn’t a lot to say about this stuff -- it’s just cute fan service. Here’s a super quick recap:

The boys gather outside at an area with big platform tents, on what must have been a lovely sprint day. Park Hanbin is wearing that same soft looking blue sweater, and Kim TaeRae is wearing a sweatshirt that says Thrasher on it, with just enough dark tape over the logo that they don’t have to blur it. My 17 year old self fainted dead away when she saw that Thrasher logo. Is there anything cuter than a skater boy? (Other than my fella, who is the cutest boy of all boys.)

The trainees are told they will have to dress like cute animals and spend a self-sufficient day in the forest - - which is complete bullshit, but that’s ok. 

First, they have to put on loose pajama pants without using their hands -- which is an excuse to help each other and touch each other’s crotchal areas with their feet and teeth -- in order to choose which team gets to wear which animal outfit. That part is actually pretty fun to watch, especially when Chen Kuan Jui uses his powers of stretchiness to get’er’done.

Once they get their animal outfit on (they’re just big loose onesie outfits), they’re all told that each team will have a “raccoon” in it (basically, like a mole -- someone who ruins everything) and that they have to figure out who it is. They have to go into a tent one by one to find out if they’re the raccoon or not -- it’s not as if they choose to be the mole. If the team can figure out who’s the raccoons amongst them, then everyone else wins the prize, but if they don’t, the raccoons win the prizes. The stakes are high.

Say My Name comes in first and chooses unicorn. 

Switch comes in second and chooses something red; I can’t tell what it is. 

En Garde comes in 3rd and chooses dinosaur.

Supercharger comes in 4th and chooses something pink; I can’t tell what it is.  

Over Me comes in last and chooses something black. 

Over Me’s raccoon is revealed immediately as Lee Jeonghyeon, and he says, “thank you” and that he’s confident he can do it. Just more MNET spotlighting him to try to get another K-group member in the top9 if possible. 

They’re hungry and have to play a game where they spin around until they’re dizzy and have to poke at a board with ingredients written on it. The best things are in tiny boxes, which are hard to target. But most of the trainees get at least something decent for food. 

Then they play another game to win dessert -- prizes range from shaved ice to “healthy tea” -- and this game is my least favorite Korean reality staple, “Scream in the dark.” It’s this game where they all wear huge headphones that block out most sound, and have to shout at each other and read each other’s lips. This game is played on all the idol shows, and it’s really not my favorite. Maybe it’d be more fun if I were a fluent Korean speaker…? Also, it’s obviously going to be hard for non native speakers from G-group. 

This part goes on for approximately 3,791 years, so if you’d like to skip to the end of it, go to 49:18. 

After that, the boys discuss who amongst them could be the raccoon (mole). We find out that each raccoon has a purple raccoon symbol stamped on his foot. So they choose who among them is the raccoon and then that person has to reveal their foot. 

Though Over Me’s team seems to suspect Lee Jeonghyeon, they cast out Jay, almost as if they are the general public viewing the show. Of course, Jay is innocent.

Switch team picks Keita, but he’s innocent as well. Turns out the mole was Park Hanbin! Back when he found out that he had to be the mole, he said -- with his face hidden and voice distorted -- “I can’t lie!” and collapsed on the floor. But he was good at it after all! Have I mentioned lately that I really like Park Hanbin? Because I do.

Say My Name team picks Sung Hanbin, and he’s also innocent. Turns out it was really Han Yujin. Interestingly, when he was chosen as the mole, he said, “I’m good at this kind of thing.” A rare glimpse into the personality of Han Yujin.

Supercharger picked Wang Zi Hao, and he is in fact the mole. 

En Garde team picked Kum Junhyeon, and he’s also innocent. Turns out the real mole was Park Gunwook. 

The raccoons have won! Their prize is a variety of high fashion outfits -- in other words, their animal onesies. (Ten bucks says they all got to keep their onesies anyway.)

And that’s the end of the filler!

56:50 SECOND ROUND OF ELIMINATIONS

They joke about the game for a bit longer, and then go back to the eliminations. 

Next up will be the other teams: Supercharger, Over Me, and Say My Name. 

Ricky says to Jay, in English, “Let’s survive together.” Kim JiWoong leans over to Matthew and says, quoting from Love Killa, “Oh I’m sorry, did I make you anxious?”

Here’s everyone who’s up on the chopping block, in case you would like a refresher as to who is who. I’ve listed their most recent rank as well as their three challenge missions.

1 Sung Hanbin Love Me Right - K / Tomboy / Say My Name

2 Zhang Hao Kill This Love - G/ Tomboy/ Over Me

3 Han Yu Jin Back Door - K   / Law / Say My Name

4 Seok Matthew Kill This Love - G/ Love Killa/ Say My Name

5 Kim Ji Woong Back Door - K /Love Killa /Say My Name

12 Jay Love Me Right - G/ Home /Over Me

14 Ricky Back Door - G/ Rush Hour /Over Me

16 Haruto Love Me Right - G / Zoom/ Supercharger

17 Yoo Seung Eon Very Nice - K Home Say My Name

18 Seo Won Very Nice - K Love Killa Supercharger

19 Wang Zi Hao Kill This Love - G Law Supercharger

22 Chen Kuan Jui Kill This Love - G Butterfly Over Me

24 Lee Jeong Hyeon Love Me Right - K Gang Over Me

25 Takuto Danger - G Rush Hour Supercharger

26 Cha Woong Ki Very Nice - K Feel Special Supercharger

27 Ollie Hot Sauce - G Zoom Supercharger

Who’s up first? 13th place. Who could it be? 

Someone who’s noted for their talent (thanks, that’s unhelpful). It’s someone from Over Me. We see Park Hanbin with his hands folded, as if in prayer -- he’s hopeful it’ll be his WakeOne teammate, Lee JeongHyeon. 

At 1:01:00, we find out it’s Jay. 

We see that Jay’s Korean support is painfully low -- only 62,829 votes, while everyone else announced so far has had 200,000+ -- while his global support is super high --  1,400,606 while no one else has broken into the millions. He’s a little sad because he’s dropped another spot, and it’s looking less and less likely that he’ll make top9 in the end.

Honestly, at this point, I think it’s better for Jay that he *not* debut in Bepler. Looking at what’s going on with Kepler, all the fan wars and stuff, I think he’s better of not in that kind of situation. Who wants to debut based on global vote and then have to go to fan meetings in Korea where literally no one acknowledges you? He’ll have a more fulfilling career using this as a spring board to make his own music and release it mostly online, the way that B.I. and Jackson Wang do. Let K-netz hate him all they want, and let him just sing in English like he’d probably prefer to do. I’d much rather have B.I.’s career than, say, Park Jihoon’s. (Though I do absolutely love all three of the songs I linked to, for the record. But Jihoon’s stylist noona deserves serious sanctions. His whole MV team does. Send them to the naughty step for a few hours to rethink their choices in life.) There’s life after Boys Planet and it doesn’t have to involve Bepler. 

Who’s next? 14th place. Who could it be? 

Someone indispensable -- so team Supercharger hopes it’s Haruto, as do we all, right? Haruto is everyone’s unproblematic fave. 

At 1:02:34, we find out it’s Yoo Seungeon.

Yoo Seungeon is signed to Yuehua, along with current trainees Ricky, Zhang Hao, Han Yujin, Ollie, and Kim Gyuvin, and eliminated trainees Brian and Ji Yun Seo.  He really is quite young to debut, and doesn’t really need to debut right now -- it seems quite likely that Zhang Hao and Han Yujin will make the final lineup, and Ricky and Gyuvin have a decent chance, so the Yuehua team that debuts in 2024 or 2025 will start off with a lot of momentum. It still can’t hurt for Seungeon to have more exposure, so it’s nice that he made it. He seems like a sweet kid and a genuine talent. All that said, I’m so worried about Haruto I can’t think straight. 

Who’s next? 17th place. Who could it be?

Everyone is hoping that it’ll be themselves, and this is so painful. Cha Woongki tries to keep from hoping. The person is known for their rapping, so of course I’m hoping for Haruto, but there are a lot of rappers here. 

Somi says that the person has two “ng” consonants. 

Korean reading time! The little circles you see in Korean have a few different roles. Often, they’re silent, like when they come before a vowel. For example, the family name “Lee” (which is really pronounced more like Ee) is spelled 이, as you see above on Lee Jeonghyun’s name. (That straight up and down line thing is the -ee part. You also see it in the final syllable of Woongki’s name -- 기.) When you see the circle thingy at the top of a name, it’s more like “w-” sound. When it’s at the bottom of a word, it’s a -ng sound. That’s why you see it in the top and bottom of 웅 for Woongki (and for Kim JiWoong, also) and in 왕 Wang. You also see it in the bottom of Lee Jeonghyun’s second syllable. 

Of course everyone has tons of little circles in their names since they do so much work in Korean writing -- even before I could read Korean I could always tell Korean from other writing systems by the little circles. 

Who could it be in 17th place? At 1:05:05 we find out it’s It’s Lee Jeonghyeon. He burst into tears, which seems to surprise his fellow WakeOne trainees Park Hanbin and Kim TaeRae. Of course people are happy for him but sad that they (or their other friends) didn’t survive. 

We get told that without the benefit, he would have been in 19th place. 

The surviving trainees get to make a speech. 

Jay says, in slow English (probably to make it easier for non-native speakers to understand): "To all my friends and family watching from all the way back in the states, I just want to say thank you so much for tuning in every week and screaming at the television.” Somi, who is Canadian and fluent in English, says “Blow them a kiss!” and he does.

Yoo Seung Eon says, “First of all, I never imagined that I’d survive in a high rank of 14, so I feel like I’m dreaming. I have no words to describe how I feel right now. Also, thanks to my Say My Name teammates who created the greatest performance, I really love you.” 

Lee Jeonghyeon says, “At every survivor announcement, I was always on the verge of disqualifications. So today, I thought that I wouldn’t be able to make it. But I’m really grateful to the Team Over Me who practiced hard, so we could get benefits.” Then he says, in extremely halting Chinese and Japanese, things like “I love you” and “thank you”, with Hiroto and other trainees helping him from the sidelines. 

They take their seats, and Lee Jeonghyeon regains his cool. 

1:09:00 THIRD ELIMINATION SEGMENT - TOP 10

So, let’s look at the list of trainees, in their episode 8 ranking order. Those marked in green have already been seated in 11th through 17th place. 

1 Sung Hanbin 2 Zhang Hao 3 Han Yu Jin 4 Seok Matthew 5 Kim Ji Woong 6 Kim Gyu Vin 7 Kim Tae Rae 8 Keita 9 Park Gunwook 10 Kum Jun Hyeon 11 Hui 12 Jay 13 Park Hanbin 14 Ricky 15 Yoon Jong Woo 16 Haruto 17 Yoo Seung Eon 18 Seo Won 19 Wang Zi Hao 20 Na Kamden 21 Lee Seung Hwan 22 Chen Kuan Jui 23 Zhang Shuai Bo 24 Lee Jeong Hyeon 25 Takuto 26 Cha Woong Ki 27 Ollie 28 Hiroto

Speaking of falling out and making room, Somi reminds us all that Park Gunwook has fallen out of top 9, leaving a space for a new person. From context, the only person it could be is Ricky -- unless in some weird world it’s Hui. I just don’t think Hui is doing well enough on the show to make top9.  So yeah, given the obsessive nature of of Ricky’s fandom, I’m assuming he’s a lot of people’s one-pick and will probably be in the top 10, along with Sung Hanbin, Zhang Hao, Han Yu Jin, Seok Matthew, Kim Ji Woong, Kim Gyu Vin, Kim Tae Rae, Keita, and Hui. I’m trying to think, could any of these have fallen out of the top 10, leaving room for Haruto? And I don’t think so. I think Matthew will have fallen a few ranks, but I don’t think he’s fallen out of the top 10.  And Hui -- I think he’s more nervous than he has to be. But we’ll see. 

Next up, we find out the “candidates for 9th place”, ie, the people ranked 9th and 10th. And it’s Hui and Matthew.

Hui is relieved, as he’s been thinking the whole time that he’s been eliminated, while Matthew is resigned to what to him is bad news. Matthew was ranked 2nd and then 4th, so falling to 9th or 10th is a steep drop. I really wish he’d just been sweet and nice about the part switch, because he did a great job in Say My Name -- I think the best in the group -- and he definitely lost some fans. I’ll add, however, that he might have lost those fans anyway as we moved from pick-3 to1-pick. The dynamics always change a lot when we get to the 1-pick.

Matthew and Hui come up to the front to find out who came in 9th -- and it's Matthew.

Matthew says, “I want to thank all the Star Creators for allowing me to stay in the Top 9. Hanbin hyung, Ji Woong Hyung, Yujin-ee and Seung Eon-ee, I was just so happy to be with you. I want to become more cool like Hanbin hyung and JiWoong hyung.  Thank you, and I also hope we’ll all be successful together.” Really putting on those retro-rockets, huh? I hope it helps -- I think he’s a great performer and would make a good member of Bepler.

Hui says, “I came worrying that I may have to go home today. I really want to thank the Star Creators for allowing me to get such an unexpectedly high rank. I also wanted to thank my En Guard team members who’ve worked so hard with me. I would like everyone to stay with me to the end, and although I cannot give amazing benefits like Boys Planet, I will becomes an amazing Hoe Taek and I will show you a good side of me.”

As Matthew goes to take his seat, you can hear Yoo Seungeon rush over to give Matthew-hyung a hug. Jay also comes over and says something in English but I can’t quite make it out. 

Next is 8th place. Who could it be? Well it’s one of Ricky, Han Yu Jin, Kim Ji Woong, Kim Gyu Vin, Kim Tae Rae, or Keita. And at 1:16:42, we find out it’s Ricky! 

Ricky says, “It’s so cool to enter the Top9 for the first time. I can’t believe it. Honestly, the sofa looked so comfy that I wanted to try sitting in it at least once. I will show an even more improved version of me during the final stage.” The show makes a big deal out of how “sofa” is probably not a Korean word or the right word for these chairs, but, whatever, everyone knew what he meant.

We hear Jay call “Ricky!” and it’s honestly very pleasant to hear someone pronounce it like that. (Not going to say “correctly,” just… correct to my ears, you know?)

Side note: with his hair styled down like this, I actually don’t recognize him. I mean, I know it’s him, but my brain doesn’t believe me. 

Now it’s time to find out who is in 7th place. Well it’s one of Han Yu Jin, Kim Ji Woong, Kim Gyu Vin, Kim Tae Rae, or Keita. 

And at 1:18:39, we find out it’s Kim Gyuvin.

I like the return to a messy mop of hair. 

He says, “I want to thank you all for allowing me to end up in such a high rank. Through this final stage, I will prove to you why I need to debut.” Then he adds in uncertain Japanese, “I will become a more improved GyuVin. I love you.” Hiroto coaches him from the other side of the room.

I mean, I know that that interim ranking showed him really low, but it never occurred to me for a second he’d fall below 17. I think he might have been worried, though. He’s gotten some hate online. He sits down in the comfy chair and gives that weird smile of his. 

Next is 6th place. Who could it be? Well, it’s one of Han Yu Jin, Kim Ji Woong, Kim Tae Rae, or Keita. Because it’s someone whose rank improved, it’s either TaeRae or Keita.

At 1:21:17, we find out it’s Keita. Nice! I knew he’d make it. I’m glad to see his rank improving. His Korean support is low, but his global support is insane. He’s the first person to outscore Jay in the global vote. (He outscored Jay’s Korean support, as well.) 

Keita says, “I am just so happy and grateful to be able to move onto the final. I will keep doing my best.” Then he bows. That’s Keita for you. 

Next is 5th place. Well, it’s either Han Yu Jin, Kim Ji Woong, Kim Tae Rae, or maybe Zhang Hao. The person is popular with teenagers, and his charming point is his shy smile. TaeRae doesn’t have a shy smile, but Yujin does. 

At 1:22:58 we find out it’s Han Yujin, who at previous eliminations was 4th and 3rd.

Lee Jeonghyun turns around to look up at Park Hanbin and wonder out loud, “What place is TaeRae in?” Again, all three of them are signed together at WakeOne. And hopefully will all debut together ASAP. 

Han Yujin says, “To the Star Creators who have shown me much love ever since Na Bina was released,  I will work even harder from now on.” Then he adds in Chinese, “Hello. I’m 17-year old Han Yujin. I love you all. You’re so pretty. Thank you.” It doesn’t sound too bad to me but I don’t know Chinese.

Somi teases him about his legendary “Noona, I love you” thing and she asks him to say it to her. (Other trainees watching, including Kum Junyheon and Kim Gyuvin, mutter that they’d be happy to tell her that too.) He says, “Somi-Noona, I love you!” and Somi melts. It’s actually pretty cute, even though I have very little patience for this shiz.

As he goes to his seat, he’s mobbed by some of his friends, including his Yuehua teammate Ricky, who jokingly asks him to say “I love you hyung” to him, and his other Yuehua teammate Kim Gyubin, who seems happier for Yujin than he was for himself. 

Next is 4th place, who only scraped past 5th place by a few thousand points -- I’ll do a point analysis at the end of this recap -- and it’s obviously  Kim Ji Woong or Kim Tae Rae, or maybe Zhang Hao. 

Almost immediately we find out it’s Tae Rae. 

Hair stylist noona was really feeling the ruffley bang look today, wasn’t she? 

TaeRae says, “To my Star Creators who have always supported me, thank you so much. I will do my best to repay you for your love and support with an even better performance on the final stage.” Then Somi makes him do a big weird laugh and it’s… weird. But he’s still cute. 

He goes to take his place, and someone runs to hug him -- I’m pretty sure it’s his WakeOne teammate Park Hanbin.

Somi says she’s going to announce top 3, and Chen Kuan Jui says, in a big, bright, almost-not-sarcastic voice, “who on earth could it be? I’m so curious,”  Big snaps for that, CKJ.

Obviously it’s Kim JiWoong, Zhang Hao, and Sung Hanbin. 

Ok, so the show reminds us that the top placing trainee in the final episode will get to do a solo song on the group’s debut album, and we’re shown a clip of Kepler performing, with a focus on the first-place-winning Kim Chaeyoung. Thing is, though Chaeyoung came in first (and though she’s talented and sweet and I like her), she is definitely not the most popular member of Kepler these days. I checked a few different random rankings and she was ranked anywhere from 4th to last depending on which list I looked at. She has fans, definitely -- I’m sure plenty of people like her! -- I’m just saying that she’s not the runaway queen of the group or anything. Focusing on her just reminds us that it doesn’t matter AT ALL who comes in first, not even on the final episode, and definitely not now, a week out from first. 

(Side note: Another example of this is Ni-Ki from Enhypen. He finished in fourth place in the show I-Land, and spent some time in the unfavored zone for the trainees, but is now the runaway king of the group, with his fancams showing millions of views. The public who votes for reality show trainees aren’t necessarily representative of the entire Kpop viewing population.)

Despite the show basically shoving that fact in our face, it continues to act as if we really care who will specifically will be first, second, and third. Also I think we all know who is third. But WHO COULD IT BE?

At 1:28:49, we find out it’s Kim JiWoong. 

He says, “I am grateful and think of it as an honor to be able to provide comfort and happiness to others. Thank you.” I actually adore this guy. He’s a complete mystery of a human and I adore that. 

Then there’s some dumb bit where Somi makes him do aegyo and it goes on way too long. 

So now it’s time to announce who came in first between Zhang Hao and the impossibly, ridiculously perfect Sung Hanbin.

They say a lot of the normal, “what if confident, but polite?” type things, and then we find out that apparently Sung Hanbin helped Zhang Hao with the “Over Me” choreography to add some waacking elements. They weren’t even on the same team, and Hanbin still took time out of his schedule of providing solar power with his smile to go help his friend. 

And at 1:34:19, we find out that Hanbin has taken first again. 

He says, “Well, for this past Artist Battle mission, there was such a big benefit on the line, so I wasn’t really able to predict this. Please continue to cheer for me so I can run for the finish line, shining as bright as I can. My Say My Name members, I love you.”

Hao says, in his halting way, “I am so grateful and happy to be able to rank 2nd place again. I will continue running without stopping. Please continue being happy through my passion.” Then he adds in extremely halting Japanese, “motto ganbarimasu” -- kind of “I’ll keep going/ I won’t give up.”  His vote tally shows that he is more than 800,000 points ahead of 3rd/4th/5th place (which are almost a tie).

But it’s nothing compared to Sung Hanbin, who is more than a million points ahead of Hao. 

Sung Hanbin is dominating first place in a way we’ve never seen on the produce series. To put this in perspective: 

In Produce 101 season 1, Jeon Somi and Kim Sejeong traded off between 1st and second, with Somi actually falling to 4th place at the 2nd elimination before finally finishing in first.

In Produce 101 season 2, Park Jihoon, Kim Jonghyeon, and Kang Daniel held first place at different times. 

In Produce 48, Sakura, Lee Gaeun, and Jang Wonyoung held first place at different times.

In Produce X 101, Kim Yohan and Kim Wooseok traded off in first place.

In Girls Planet 999, Yurina was in first place in ep 5 and didn’t even make it into Kepler. Shen Xiaoting was in first place for most of the rest of the time, and then only made it into Kepler in 9th place, and Kim Chaeyhun came in first despite not ever ranking above 8th place before that. 

Granted, all four Produce seasons were known for straight up vote rigging, so maybe one person really was the most popular the whole time. But regardless, Sung Hanbin’s DOMINATION of first place is completely unprecedented in previous seasons of this show, with or without vote rigging. If he comes in first on Friday morning, it will be something we’ve never seen before on this show. 

Anyway, our top 9 is seated. Hey, if this is the debuting team, I’ll definitely follow them. 

1:36:26 Chair 18

This is the part where they announce who is ranked 18th, ie, the very last survivor. I’m not going to go in much depth here because this part isn’t fun to recap, you know? 

Haruto notices that Supercharger is still completely seated in the gallery -- no one has made it through the elimination. That’s the worst. 

Here’s who’s left, with their episode 8 rank. 

16 Haruto 18 Seo Won 19 Wang Zi Hao 20 Na Kamden 21 Lee Seung Hwan 22 Chen Kuan Jui 23 Zhang Shuai Bo 25 Takuto 26 Cha Woong Ki 27 Ollie 28 Hiroto

Who’s most likely to take that last spot? I hope Haruto, but really it could be any of them other than Z-Bo, Takuto, and Ollie, in my opinion. Let’s find out. 

Somi announces the FOUR candidates for spot 18 -- that’s so cruel. 

They announce Wang Zihao, Na Kamden, Cha Woongki, and Hiroto -- representing China, USA, Korea, and Japan.

Of course, this means that Haruto, Seo Won, Lee Seung Hwan, Chen Kuan Jui, Zhang Shuai Bo, Takuto and Ollie all have been eliminated. 

I can’t believe it about Haruto. The way he hangs his head just breaks my heart. I don’t even want to screen cap it. I didn’t see it coming so it was just a punch in the gut.

I’m sad for all of them, really, but aside from Haruto, I’m also especially sad for Lee Seunghwan, who, you may not know, already went through the reality show ringer once and was a member of 1the9, a group whose promotions were severely impacted by covid-19. Poor Seunghwan -- luck just never seems to be on his side, though he’s handsome, sweet, and talented. 

Side note: I was all up to date and ready to get this recap out on Saturday or something, but I just… didn’t… want to write it. I watched the whole thing taking quick notes to use as the basis of my recap later, and when Haruto was eliminated I just fast forwarded to find out who did survive and then turned the episode off and didn’t come back for several days. So if that’s how you’re feeling about it, me too. I guess maybe Haruto didn’t look like a viable candidate, so people gave up? Or maybe people thought that other people would vote for him, that he’d be safe? It’s strange to me that Hiroto beat Haruto in the final ranking. Nothing against Hiroto at all, but I’m just surprised. 

Anyway, let’s finish this. 

21st place turns out to be Hiroto, the only eliminated member of En Garde. From his spot on stage, Park Gunwook mutters to himself, “If we’d just gotten 1st place….” A general to the end, worrying about his troops. I will hear no talk about Gunwook being “mean” or anything like that. 

Hiroto says (in slow, careful Korean), “I didn’t get a good result because I was lacking, but…” (Woongki interrupts quietly, saying “that’s not true,” and Somi looks heartbroken) “...I am happy if the Star Creators were happy while cheering for me.” It’s a very sweet speech.

Somi says, “You are not lacking!” and Hiroto’s face lights up. She continues: “None of you are lacking! All of you here are amazing!” There, that’s my girl. That’s my Somi. 💓 She is so much more human than pretty much any judge or host we’ve had on the show so far -- well, Sunmi was great too, but she was barely there. Somi knows exactly how these trainees feel and relates to them as equals, even though she’s successful and they’re not there yet. I’m glad she’s here. I bet she made this easier for them.

Next we announce 20th place: It’s Woongki. 

His final speech is at 1:39:55 and it’s great. He says, “When I said that I would appear on Boys Planet, people told me that what I want is different from what I can do, that my time is up, and that I would learn to face reality. But I feel like that’s not true. Through Boys Planet, I was able to learn more about my potential as Cha Woongki. Woongki boy is just beginning. Thank you!” and then with a bright smile, he bows. Yeah, Woongki! 

Somi says, shaking a cue card in the air for emphasis, “Don’t give up on your dream!” And Woongki cheerfully says, “I won’t!” 

Finally, we announce 18th place, which means announcing 19th place at the same time. 

18th place turns out to be Na Kamden. Jay practically falls out of his chair in relief, and we see Z-bo’s face is lit up with happiness. Ollie gives him a congratulatory hug -- probably the whole English speaking crew got pretty close at the show. Other trainees gather to console Wang Zi Hao, who is taking it in stride, as he takes basically everything in life. 

Kamden says, “Honestly, when I wasn’t called before, I was organizing my thoughts and emptied myself of expectations.   But thank you so much for allowing me to stand on such a large stage as the final.” Then he adds in English, “Love you Mom!” and then in Korean says, “I made it to the final!” 

We check in with Wang Zi Hao. he says, in Chinese, “I was grateful to be able to experience these times together with everyone. I will treasure the fact that I was able to make good memories with you all at this starting point of my life. Thank you.” He’s such a sweetheart. Haruto mentioned that Wang Zi Hao joined Supercharger voluntarily in order to help Haruto -- isn’t that sweet. There’s often a G R E A T   A G E N C Y   R E S H U F F L I N G following a show like this, so I’m hoping that WZH ends up signing at another agency so we can see more of him in the future. 

Somi wishes the ten eliminated trainees the best, and we pan over them. Haruto seems to be having the worst time of it -- the rest saw it coming, at least. 

Here is the complete final ranking -- filling in the last few spots with some help from the internet. 

Sung Hanbin

Zhang Hao

Kim Jiwoong 

Kim Taerae

Han Yujin

Keita

Kim Gyubin

Ricky  

Seok Matthew

Hui

Park Hanbin

Park Gunwook

Jay

Yoo Seungeon

Yoon Jongwoo

Kum Junhyeon

Lee Jeonghyeon

Na Kamden

Wang Zihao

Cha Woongki

Hiroto

Haruto

Chen Kuan Jui

Lee Seunghwan

Seo Won

Ollie

Takuto

Zhang Shuai Bo

Sung Hanbin is 1,046,481 points* ahead of Hao, who is 816,760 points ahead of 3rd place. However, JiWoong, TaeRae, and Yujin are all within about 25,000 points of each other, making them virtually tied. Then there’s 432,355 points between Yujin and Keita, so that puts Keita down kind of a tier. Keita is only 51,928 points ahead of Gyuvin, making them almost tied. The next few ranks are all about 130k-150k apart from each other, like a stair case, but then there’s a big gap (311,148) between Matthew and Hui. But from Hui down to Na Kamden, they’re all pretty close together, like 6000-60,000 apart --  especially if you remember that Lee Jeonghyeon got that 200,000 point benefit. 

*I say points because they’re not straight up votes, due to the K/G weighting thing.

What I’m saying is that unless something drastic happens, I think that Sung Hanbin and Hao will be 1-2 on Friday; JiWoong, TaeRae, and Yujin all look like locks as well, and from Keita down to Matthew, things could easily move around, but it’s not looking super-duper likely that many people from Hui down to Kamden will end up in the top 9 -- unless Park Hanbin continues his meteoric rise and Matthew continues his sharp fall.  If you're curious, here's the ranking of the top 18 if only Korean votes decided things:

Sung Hanbin

Kim Tae Rae

Kim Gyu Vin

Han Yu Jin

Kim Ji Woong

Zhang Hao

Yoo Seung Eon

Na Kamden

Kum Jun Hyeon

Park Hanbin

Hui

Lee Jeong Hyeon

Ricky

Park Gunwook

Yoon Jong Woo

Seok Matthew

Keita

Jay

And here's the ranking if only Global votes decided things:

Keita

Zhang Hao

Sung Hanbin

Jay

Seok Matthew

Kim Ji Woong

Han Yu Jin

Ricky

Park Gunwook

Yoon Jong Woo

Kim Tae Rae

Hui

Kim Gyu Vin

Park Hanbin

Kum Jun Hyeon

Yoo Seung Eon

Lee Jeong Hyeon

Na Kamden

I'll let you draw your own conclusions from that.

So... the next phase is the one-pick vote. I could rant at length about how dumb the one-pick system is in terms of creating a sustainable group. Groups that are truly successful tend to have multiple members that are popular among fans. There’s a popular boy group that I personally like only 2 members of, so I really can’t consider myself a fan of that group. Meanwhile in Exo, I basically can’t pick a favorite because I really like almost all of them. So letting us vote for multiple members would tend to create a situation in which the group is all loved by all the fans.

The rest of the episode was the boys preparing for their next song, and I have to admit, I don’t much care about those two last songs. The performances happen AT the finale, once the audience has already voted, so there’s kind of no point to them.  

Here are the two groups for the two songs:

Hot Summer Sung Hanbin  Kim Taerae  Kim Ji Woong  Ricky  Lee Jeong Hyeon  Kim Gyuvin  Han Yujin  Keita  Yoon Jongwoo  

Jelly Pop Hui  Yoo Seung Eon  Zhang Hao  Park Gunwook  Kum Junhyeon  Park Hanbin  Jay  Na Kamden  Seok Matthew 

Who knows, maybe I’ll recap the rest later, but I wanted to get this posted. 

Hope you’re all doing well, and I hope that your one-pick makes it. 

[galaxyartmaps]

Coffee Shop AU  @arrowfam-events So this is so late but I think well worth it!  I have so many ideas about this au. (Also the heist one, which i promise I’ll get to eventually.)  Anyway have all my thoughts: - Ollie owns a coffee shop called “Blue Boar Cafe” named after “Blue Boar Inn” aka the inn in the story of Robin Hood.  - Dinah owns a flower shop right next door, which of course is named “Sherwood Florist” because Grell gave us pure gold with that one.  - Eddie owns the buildings and pops in from time to time. There are apartments above the shops.  - Shado, Dinah, and Ollie all own apartments above the shops. Shado is rarely there and Emiko(13) tends to hang out with Oliver and Roy a lot. - Roy(17) and Connor(2) live with Ollie. Mia(16) and Sin(1) live with Dinah. Connor lives with Ollie every other week, spending the rest of the time with his mother.  - Roy works at the Blue Boar, Mia at Sherwood. Emiko is technically too young to be employed but she can and will work at either when she wants to. - Jade and Dodger make frequent appearances to annoy Roy and Mia respectively. (I like to think the titans also come to annoy Roy at work, and Wally is no longer allowed to have coffee.)

[kakumeinoyuuki]

Post race thoughts before I fall asleep and forget about it all....

- Good thing I'm watching this before bed as I could have slept during that. Congratulations to Max, he's winning this whole thing easy.

- What a drive from Ollie Bearman, less than an hour practice in the step up to an F1 car, missing out on Q3 by 0.036 and making some moves in the race. Well deserved DOTD.

- Lewis Hamilton defended for his life. His battles with Oscar were some of the highlights for me personally. And I think it'll be underrated by a lot of people.

- That Haas is better than any of us thought it was gonna be. Magnussen's 20 seconds of penalties saved face for a few of the back marker teams (that look way worse in race trim) shame for Zhou with the slow pit stop late on though, he's driven pretty well so far this season, despite the issues on track.

- In my opinion, Lando should have had a penalty for a jump start. Especially if any movement before Lights Out should be penalised according to the rules. George's onboard had a clearer view and possibly the lack of angles saved Lando.

Anyway, that's enough of that, time for bed.

[isabelguerra]

YOU. WIZARD AU GUY. TELL US MORE ABOUT WIZARD PROM PLEASE. DOES IT GET DEEP INTO SHIPPING TERRITORY? WHO GOES WITH WHO? PLEASE I NNNNNNEEED TO KNOW

HI ANON AS YOU WISH

Wizard prom. head in my hands. Dont even get me started on wizard prom. I’m assuming you’re talking about yule in their 6th year, pls correct me if that not it but I can’t think of anything else youd be referring to so I’m going to talk about Yule.

It gets a little into shipping territory! Some of the yule pairups aren’t automatically romantic. The ships in wizard au are, since i made the au, catered to me, but don’t let that stop you. These are how I wrote them but if you think it’d be fun to see stephen/alex or idk collin/cody be my guest. With that said the yule pairs are:

- Isabel & Max: They go for appearances (Hogwarts champion & Quidditch captain, Guerra family heir, one of the best witches in their year) and because neither got dates with people they liked otherwise. Which is not to say other people didn’t ask them, but neither were interested in those people. So, why not go with your best friend?

- Cody & the Beauxbatons champion, who is a sweet boy with soft brown hair and glasses

- Ed & RJ: #nonbinaryswag

- Ollie & some Durmstrang twink

- Stephen & Dimitri (imo still the funniest crackship out there)

- Johnny does not get a date (loser)

- Violet & Lisa

- Spender & Garcia: I used to have Spender go alone but that was before sparcia became real so as much as i would like to laugh at him and make him single again i have to vote for gay rights

- Isaac also doesn’t get a date (loser x2). Maybe he asks someone and they turn him down. I like to bully Isaac

- Day & Zarei

Those are the pairings I can think of. Otherwise we have Jeff who goes alone but has a great time, Suzy and Collin who spend the whole night trying to get a scoop rather than dancing (Collin was roped into this unwillingly), Professor Walker who is chaperoning, and I feel like I’m forgetting some but if I remember I’ll add them in later.

This lineup is WAYYYY WAY different than the OG au, I think back in 2015 it was more like:

- Max alone because he couldn’t get a date

- Ed & Isabel went as bffs

- Isaac no date

- Jang went as a group of 4 bffs with matching outfits

Which has changed a lot. Ed & Isabel don’t go together anymore because going with your sibling is social suicide and also Ed likes RJ. Wizard AU is first and foremost an izjo au, and Isabel and Johnny did the chicken dance around asking each other until it was too late, so Isabel going with Max is part of that. They end up hanging out through most of yule anyway, but they didn’t ask each other and they both kind of regret it. The gang doesn’t go with each other anymore because as fun as I think it’d be, I think it’s something they would do at 12 and not 16. Theyre all growing into being their own person, and that involves being daring and asking the person they like to wizard prom except Johnny.

I dug through discord and found these old messages bullying izjo for not asking each other. Please enjoy

[broken-clover]

Ope, ended up forgetting and doing this late. I feel like this is gonna become typical despite the whole point being I did it along with peoples' spotify lists coming out.

Anyway, this is my second year of doing 'year in review!' Since I listen to most of my music via Youtube I like to make a list of all the songs I've discovered for the first time this year. It's fun! I like to reflect on that new stuff I've found and enjoyed.

Here's last year's list! In comparison, it looks like this one's a few songs shorter. I also don't think I found any songs that came out this year, at least not any that I really enjoyed. Suppose I didn't look super hard, though...

Here's the tracklist for this year!

A Little Bit Off- Five Finger Death Punch

Lucid Dreams- Juice WRLD

Amnesia- Chumbawamba

Dance With Me Tonight- Olly Murs

The Great Pretender- The Platters

Revolution 909- Daft Punk

CYBER GANG- crossbeats Rev. Sunrise

Ordinaryish People- AJR & Blue Man Group

Houdini- Foster the People

Crossing the Line- Mandy Moore & Eden Espinosa

Ultra- KMFDM

I'm Gonna Kill Santa Claus- Danny Gonzales

Even if it's a little short, I like that I found stuff from a bunch of different sources. I found Houdini from my playthrough from Sackboy, where it played in one of the musical levels, I found Ultra off the track of the Street Fighter II movie, and Ordinaryish I got from a video that Rex sent me!

It was also nice to see more of the discography of bands I've already heard of but didn't know much about! Chumbawamba actually has a really good beat to a lot of their songs and I wish they weren't so often written off as just a one-hit wonder (also, have to say, Amnesia's chorus easily has one of the funniest choruses I've ever heard in a song, it's still funny just because it's so silly. I forgor...)

Once again terribly hard to pick a favorite, but I think A Little Bit Off wins by a narrow margin since it's such a good angry song for letting off steam. I first heard it back in January and have been since blaring it all year long.

[ollieinoue]

Some cheesy Mini golf Course about 2ish hours away from Ogden. @montyrichler​

The idea of going to Atlantic city had been a bold one for Ollie and Monty in the first place, but Ollie had really meant it! And then he looked up how long of a drive it was to see it was eight hours. Okay... They could still do that... Totally. They'd just wake up early and go. He'd planned on telling Nate that he couldn't stay up too late after he got out of his fight that night, but then Nate never showed up. So, that was convenient. Though it didn't matter, because Ollie slept in late the next day anyway, and then slept for another few hours in Monty's bed after trying and failing to wake him up. Once the two of them finally woke up, got done waking and baking, and were finally out on the road it was late in the afternoon.

So, the fact that it was already getting darker out and they hadn't even made it out of the state yet was unsurprising, what was surprising was the oasis they found instead. Some hacky as hell family fun park with a mini golf course along the highway. He pulled over so they could eat, but... why leave?

"So," Ollie said, as he walked back over to where he'd left Monty to wait, two putters already clasped in his hand. "Bad news is this isn't Atlantic City. Good news is it's only ten dollars per game, and half price if we want to play again. And! There are bumper boats! This place has everything!" Well, it had a mini golf course, and bumper boats, which was pretty great. Besides he'd just gotten his ego burned by the end of last night, he didn't think he wanted to go to Atlantic city anymore. If he was being honest... this felt more like their vibe anyway, and it meant they were close enough that they'd get back to school for Monty's actual birthday. Sounded great to Ollie.

He held one of the putters out to Monty with a grin, while nodding at the plastic Tupperware container that held the snacks he'd packed for the road trip. "The cookies are filled with pot, but those brownies have shrooms in them too, by the way. Not a lot, but enough to make fun once they turn all the colorful lights on around here, come on." There were a few families around, but the place was mostly empty as the walked to the first hole of the course. "We could make this more interesting. It might not be Atlantic City, but maybe... there can be an incentive to win a hole."

[hmasfatty]

Books of 2023

A slightly late round-up of my favourite books from last year. I’m learning to love myself more so for once in my life I had a lot of Did Not Finish books rather than a lot of low voted books, but these are the good lot.

- Grand Slam Romance by Ollie Hicks & Emma Oosterhous - queer Magical Girls play softball in this sexy, fun graphic novel.

- Cleat Cute by Meryl Wilsner - queer non-magical women play soccer in this hot but also sweet and thoughtful novel.

- Pas de Don’t by Chloe Angyal - a New York City Prima Ballerina runs all the way to Sydney to get away from a bad breakup. She finds the obligatory giant spiders, but she also finds herself and maybe love again?

- Saint of Steel series (including the not pictured Paladin’s Faith) by T Kingfisher - Paladins of a dead God keep on keeping on, fighting the forces of darkness, PTSD, and awkward social situations. There is also a great romance in each book.

- The Dos and Donuts of Love by Adiba Jaigirdar - I didn’t expect this book to to be YA and would have loved it EVEN MORE if it hadn’t been, but anyway you get what you get. A fat Bangladeshi girl signs up to be on a TV baking competition only to find out that her competitors include her very recent ex-girlfriend and another girl who seems extremely interested in her. This book has SO. MANY. PUNS.

- The Appeal by Janice Hallett - Murder mystery (not usually my thing) involving an amateur theatre company (ok that’s my thing) and also some medical drama (also my thing). This was a Fun Romp.

- Personal Score by Ellen van Neerven - fascinating look at what it’s like to love and play sport as a queer, Aboriginal, non-binary person on Stolen Land. There is history, memoir and poetry in this book but it’s not a hard read. This is probably my book of the year and I’m looking forward to hearing van Neerven speak about it at Midsumma later this month.

- Can I Steal You For A Second? By Jodi McAllister - this was a sequel to a book I read last year and the next in the series comes out on the 3rd of January. Two contestants on not!TheBachelor fall in love with each other instead of with The Bachelor. You don’t have to read the first book (Here For The Right Reasons) I don’t think to enjoy this but it is a great book also. One of the women is a nurse exhausted from working on the frontlines of the COVID pandemic and the other is a tiny blonde mechanic who is always eager to please.

- The Matchmaker by Saman Shad - I’ll admit, I chose this book based purely on that beautiful cover, but I ended up devouring it in 4 days so I think that speaks to its quality. A Sydney-based matchmaker (why so many books set in Sydney last year?! I need more Melbourne books this year!) is starting to lose clients as her community gossips that she has “unconventional methods” but then she lands a huge client with a huge catch - she can’t tell him he’s using her services. Of course this all goes horribly wrong (or horribly right). This book was a lot of fun and ALMOST made me want to go to Sydney.

[theflyingfeeling]

24 and Joonas/Olli, huh?

Childhood friends-to-lovers with mutual pining! My time to shine!! 🍀

24. you always give me your four-leaf clovers (4160 words)

~

The first time Olli did it, Joonas wasn’t quite sure what it meant.

(In his defence, Joonas was seven years old at the time and not quite sure what a lot of things meant.)

“Isn’t it cool?” Olli had asked him, twirling the clover between his thumb and index finger. “My mom says they bring good luck.”

“You’re so lucky you found one!” Joonas marvelled at the small, green plant. “Imagine if you had had it yesterday when you fell on your bike.”

“Yeah,” Olli laughed and they both looked at the clover, as if it was a magic talisman or a secret treasure only they knew about.

“It’s super cool.” Joonas’ eyes were almost glistening as he observed the clover.  He felt a twinge of jealousy, but only for half a second; his clumsy friend needed the good-luck charm far more than he did.

That was why he was stunned when Olli handed the clover to him. 

“Do you want it?”

Joonas’ eyes abandoned the small plant and looked into Olli’s eyes instead.

“But…it’s yours!”

Olli shrugged. “I don’t need it.”

“Are you sure?” Joonas thought back to how his friend had cried helplessly on the ground just the day before, a bruise on his knee and a cone of ice cream upside down on the pavement after he had noticed a frost heave on the asphalt a little too late. Olli had still been sniffling when Joonas returned to him with bandaids, having biked home and back faster than he ever had in his life. Olli had loved the Spider-Man pattern on them, and the new ice cream Joonas had brought him from his mother’s freezer had Olli smiling once more.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Olli nodded and shoved the clover to Joonas. “I’ll keep the next one I find.”

But he didn’t, Joonas learned years later. Nor the one after that.

~

“Waaaaaaaah, what am I gonna do, Olli?” Joonas whined, rubbing his face. The sun was beaming at them from a cloudless sky as they lay on the grass behind their school, which only made his misery more drastic; the weather was perfect for practising tricks on his new skateboard or fishing by the river, not for worrying about his spring term grades.

“Mmpf,” Olli mumbled next to him. His legs were dangling in the air in an almost carefree way as he lay on his stomach, but the grim pout on his lips told Joonas otherwise.

“I don’t think you’re gonna flunk the whole grade just because of one failed exam, though,” Tommi, ever the voice of reason, offered his five cents. Joonas hated how rational his tall friend could sometimes be, even at the ripe age of thirteen. 

“But I’m not gonna fail in just one exam, I’m gonna fail in maths!” Joonas exclaimed dramatically, throwing his arms above his head against the grass, almost whacking the back of Olli’s head as he did. “Aargh, mom’s gonna kill me, there’s no way she’s gonna let me go to Helsinki if I get a 4. I don’t want to come back to school in June, ugh!”

“You won’t fail, Joonas,” Olli then said, and Joonas turned his head to look at the boy.

“I don’t understand anything about polynomials, Olli. I will fail,” Joonas argued and shot a sullen glance at Tommi, who undoubtedly, although two years younger than him, knew all about the nomials.

“No, you won’t. I promise,” Olli instisted. Joonas could hear a hint of a smile in his voice. 

“How could you possibly promise that?” Joonas grumbled, turning away from his friend again; he was convinced that whatever Olli said or did would be of little comfort to him in his current agony.

That was until he felt something fall on his chest – light as a feather, but still very much there.

A single four-leaf clover.

Just as Olli had promised, Joonas did not fail the exam, he did not need to return to school after the end of the semester, and his mother did let him go to Helsinki to spend two weeks with his cousins. It most likely wasn’t because of the clover, but Joonas carried it with him anyway for as long as it was still green.

~

The most memorable and obvious occurrence, one Joonas held close to his heart, had been when they had both still been in high school. Even years later, Joonas didn’t understand how on earth he had missed all the signs.

(Perhaps he had been too preoccupied with his own hopeless crush on Olli to see any farther than his own nose.)

They were spread on Joonas’ twin bed after school, the back of Olli’s head resting on Joonas’ tummy. Olli was absorbed in the textbook he was reading, Joonas in the silky smooth feeling of Olli’s hair as his fingers played with it absentmindedly.

It was a rainy Friday afternoon in May, and Olli was studying for the last exam week of the semester. Joonas, in turn, should have been preparing for the entrance exam he’d have on Monday.

And he maybe would have, had the softness of Olli’s hair and the weight of Olli’s head on his stomach not been the only earthly things Joonas could bring his mind to focus on at the time.

(Since everything else about Olli was completely stellar.)

“Are you nervous?” Olli suddenly asked him without moving his gaze from the book.

“About the exam?”

“No, about the evening news airing on time tonight,” Olli said dryly. “Yes, the exam.”

“Mmh. I don’t know,” he said, then took a deep breath to build up enough courage to spill out what he was about to confess. “I may not be going, actually.”

Olli set down his book. The hair in between Joonas’ fingers slipped away when Olli rose to lean on his elbow, facing Joonas with eyebrows crunched.

“What do you mean you’re not going?”

“I said ‘may’. But, like… I haven’t studied much because of the cold I had, and anyway I… Yeah, I don’t know.” With no fluffy tufts of hair to fondle, Joonas started braiding the strings of his hoodie instead.

“Well… what would you do then? A gap year?”

Joonas pouted and shrugged, avoiding Olli’s gaze.

“Maybe. Or just, like, see if the band thing works out.”

“And what if it doesn’t”?

“There���ll be new entrance exams,” Joonas said quietly and shifted his position on the bed; Olli’s query was starting to make him feel as uncomfortable as his mother’s questioning look the other night when they had been watching TV together and Joonas had, rather unthinkingly, agreed with a sigh similar to his mother’s that Jason Momoa was quite dreamy.

“I suppose…” At last Olli’s eyes drifted from Joonas’ face (thank heavens), and Joonas let his chest sink as he exhaled with the relief of Olli dropping the topic.

“It’s a tempting option, not gonna lie,” Olli said and ran his palm on Joonas’ bedcover. “I’m not smart enough for med school anyway, so why bother.”

“Hey! Don’t you dare use that tone of voice when speaking of my best friend! You’re smart enough for anything.”

“I’m not, Joonas, and you know that,” Olli insisted, a melancholic smile forming on his lips.

More than anything in the entire world, Joonas wanted to lean over and kiss it away.

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“It’s not a matter of opinion, it’s a fact. Now shut your mouth about it before I shut it for you.” Joonas felt his heartbeat quicken when he realised what he had said.

To his relief, Olli seemed to dismiss his slip of tongue with a short giggle and a roll of his eyes. However, Joonas’ heart did not get the rest it so needed when Olli lay his cheek back on Joonas’ upper body, a little further up this time, just at the lower part of Joonas’ rib cage, dangerously close to his poor, shivering ticker which had not been quite the same ever since Joonas had understood he had fallen for his oldest childhood friend. 

(It had happened the previous autumn; Joonas couldn’t pinpoint when exactly, but he did remember the way Olli had looked lying next to him in the morning after Joonas’ 18th birthday, his lips just inches away from Joonas’, and for the first time he had wondered what it would be like to kiss them without the confidence boost alcohol usually gave him.)

“Whatever,” Olli sighed then. His fingers were scratching the fabric of Joonas’ hoodie slowly while nuzzling his cheek against it. 

Joonas tried not to let himself enjoy their closeness too much; Olli had always been a cuddly creature, constantly sneaking into any of his friends’ immediate proximity for hugs and snuggles for no reason in particular.

That’s just the way he is, Joonas had to keep convincing himself whenever his imagination tried to tell him otherwise.

This time there was no need for that, though, as the tug he felt on one of the drawstrings of his hoodie brought him back to reality like a plane crashing down. 

“I’ll shut up, but on one condition.”

Joonas raised his eyebrow. Something inside his chest tightened its grip.

“I want you to go to the entrance exam.”

“Aaargh!” Joonas groaned and threw his head back. His eyes fixed on the ceiling and focused on the ominous black spot which had been there right above his bed since they had moved in the house and which Joonas still always thought was a spider. The view became blurry, but somehow Joonas could fight back the tears that threatened to escape down his cheeks.

“Please, Joonas.”

“I told you, I have barely looked at the materials.”

“Just give it a shot. Please.”

When Joonas was somewhat positive his eyes would not give away his distressed state, he looked down at Olli again and saw a pair of dark eyes looking into his pleadingly. 

“Fine. But you better go find me a four-leaf clover for it.”

Olli’s eyes largened in a wicked expression that took over the boy’s face whenever he could not believe his ears.

“Have you not seen the weather forecast? It’s gonna be pouring until Tuesday!”

“Your point being?” Joonas grinned and wiggled his eyebrows.

“If you think I’m going out there just to find you a four-leaf clover, you’re being delirious.”

“Oh, so you want me to do badly in the exam you’re forcing me to take? Some friend you are.” Joonas reached his hand to pinch Olli’s cheek, but just in time the other boy dodged his touch with a giggle. Joonas was prepared, however, and used his other hand to slide under Olli’s t-shirt and attack the ticklish skin below his armpit, and soon the room was filled with Olli’s loud laughter, a sound that Joonas had always adored, a  melody he wished to hear every day, a song that felt like home.

“Okay, okay,” Olli said in between giggles. “Fine, I’ll get you your damn clover, if that’s what it takes. Wait here.” He was slightly out of breath and his hair was sticking up when he got off the bed, and Joonas had to suppress a longing sigh as he watched Olli straighten his shirt and fix his hair, his darkened eyes still gleaming with amusement.

Joonas’ gaze followed Olli who walked to Joonas’ desk covered with used coffee mugs, empty plastic bottles, candy wrappers and other junk “normal people usually keep in the rubbish bin”, as Joel had once grumbled when he had been over for a song-writing session. But before Joonas could point out Olli would not find any clovers there, the boy picked up something from the table and turned around, hiding whatever he had taken behind his back. 

“Sit up and, umm, unbutton your shirt a little,” Olli said, his voice falling quiet towards the end. His eyes wandered around the room as he scratched his temple.

“W-why?” Joonas wanted to know, although his fingers were already touching the collar of his striped dress shirt, like some sort of instinct had guided them there.

“Just do it, Porko.”

With trembling fingers Joonas did as he was told, the symbol of good luck long forgotten when Olli climbed back on the bed and faced him, his expression having lost most of its earlier playfulness. 

He felt Olli’s warm fingertips brush his chest when Olli moved away the piece of cloth to reveal more of Joonas’ skin. The touch, albeit faint and brief, took Joonas’ breath away so completely that he almost didn’t notice what Olli was holding in his right hand: a thin black marker. 

“Stay still,” Olli whispered, and in the next moment Joonas felt the tip of the pen on his skin. 

He felt Olli’s hair tickle his nose when his friend leaned in closer for a better view at his makeshift canvas.

He felt Olli’s calm breathing on his bare chest, and by god, Joonas could not have moved even if the fire brigade would have stormed in through his bedroom door, urging them outside to save themselves from the raging fire in the next room.

But the only fire in the house was the one he felt on his skin where Olli had touched when he finally leaned back, putting a cap on the marker again. 

“There,” he said with a hoarse voice and ran a hand through his hair. “That ought to do the trick.”

Joonas tipped his head down to see what had been scribbled down on his chest, but from his angle he couldn’t quite make it out.

“What is it”?

“It’s a clover! With four whole-ass leaves, just like you requested.” Olli poked at his artwork with a finger. Joonas looked up to see Olli avert his eyes in turn, focusing on the pen he was still holding. 

“Thanks. I can’t see it from there, though.”

Or hold it, or bring it to my lips, like I did with the one you brought me from your vacation in Australia during Christmas break.

“No, but there it’s close to your heart. I thought maybe it would be more effective,” Olli replied but didn’t look at Joonas while he spoke.

“Thanks,” Joonas repeated in a whisper. He held his mouth open, held his breath to say something more; what, neither of them ever found out, as in that exact moment Joonas’ mother called them for dinner. 

Olli’s theory about the placement of the good luck token was proven wrong a few days later, but more than that, Joonas’ failed exam had been due to two days spent in lovesick agony instead of in study mode, his mind constantly wandering to Olli’s gentle fingers touching his chest and his dark eyelashes fluttering as he concentrated on drawing.

(Weeks later, the exam long gone and forgotten, Joonas could still make out the traces of the clover when he looked at himself in the mirror in the morning, and traced his finger over the shaky lines, careful not to smudge them away just yet.)

~

Olli had given Joonas a four-leaf clover the day before Joonas came out to his mother.

He had planned to do so one of those days anyway, but Olli’s gesture had been the final push, even if he hadn’t known Joonas had needed one.

“What did she say?” Olli asked him. They were sitting against the brick wall of Olli’s apartment building, the one he had moved into a week after he had turned eighteen.

“That she loves me and that she’s happy I told her,” Joonas shrugged. Now that he thought about it, he wasn’t sure what he had been so nervous about; his mother was the kind of person who, if Joonas knocked on her door at 3 AM with the police after him, would hide him in the basement and charm the officers away with no further questions asked about why he was being chased by the cops in the first place. 

“She’s the coolest,” Olli smiled and nudged Joonas’ head with his own.

“I know,” Joonas agreed, a fond smile tugging at his own lips. 

“Hey, umm,” Olli began and looked down at his phone, his thumb smoothening the crack on the screen, “how…how did you tell her?”

Joonas’ mind wandered back to the day before, when his mother and he had been cleaning the table after dinner.

“Mom?”

“Hmm?” his mother answered while loading the dishwasher.

“Remember that one time we were watching Game of Thrones and you said Jason Momoa was handsome and I agreed?”

His mother closed the dishwasher door and straightened her back, appearing to be thinking for a while.

“Yes, I believe I do.”

“Yeah, that was because I’m gay.”

His mother smiled and reached her hands towards Joonas.

“Come here, baby boy.”

“I just… told her,” Joonas shrugged. He didn’t care to go into too much detail.

“Uh-huh,” Olli said quietly beside him. He kept staring at the broken screen of his phone, his eyes becoming sort of glassy, Joonas noticed. 

“Why?”

You can tell me, Olli.

Please, tell me.

He saw Olli’s chest inflate and then sink again, and then he heard a quiet voice speak:

“‘Cause… I could use some tips, I guess.”

When Olli finally looked up at him, his eyes were watery and his upper front teeth were (barely) keeping his lower lip still.

“Oh, Olli,” Joonas tilted his head and reached his hand to dry Olli’s cheek.

Olli didn’t sob or sniffle as he hid his face on Joonas shoulder, but Joonas felt the fabric of his shirt dampen on the spot he had laid his head.

“You’ll get there,” he whispered in Olli’s ear. “I promise you will.”

After a while he felt Olli relax against him and a hand sliding on his palm, interlacing their fingers.

“Have you told your dad yet?” Olli’s voice was soft and quiet, but Joonas would have heard it from a mile away, he was sure of it.

“That prick? I guess I could text him,” Joonas grumbled, not in the mood to think about the man that had left his and his mother’s lives years ago because he had suddenly changed his mind about wanting to be a loving husband and a supportive father.

(Now he was a loving husband and a supporting father to some other people in another city, and Joonas was only a little bitter about it.)

Nevertheless, he was happy to feel Olli’s body shake with silent laughter. 

“Should I find you a clover for the occasion?”

Joonas wrapped his arms around Olli tighter. 

“Oh, please do. Better safe than sorry, eh?”

~

Joonas leaned against his car and closed his eyes. The sun was hotter than it had been so far that spring, and he wanted to bathe in its every ray before he would close himself in the small, dark room where their band practice was to take place. A Sunday evening was an unusual time for them to be running through tour rehearsals, but he supposed it had something to do with Joel and Aleksi travelling to Berlin for promotional affairs the next day and Niko wanting to take his girlfriend on a vacation before the tour would start, so he had agreed to meet the others at 5 pm. 

He suspected nothing when he entered the room to find no one else but their bassist sitting on the sofa, strumming on Joonas’ acoustic guitar he had forgotten there earlier that week.

“Hey,” Olli looked up when he noticed Joonas.

“Hi. The others are not here yet?” Joonas asked, despite the fact he could well see the others were very much not there yet.

“They…are not coming, actually,” Olli said and set the guitar carefully on the sofa.

“Oh? I thought we were gonna run through the set once more.” 

The serious look on Olli’s beautiful face gave him the chills.

“Has something happened?��

“No! I mean… Well, yeah. Kinda. NOT the way you’re probably thinking, though. The others are fine.”

Olli’s blabbering only confused Joonas more.

“Where are they, then?”

“I don’t know. At home, probably?”

“But…why are they not here? You told me we have practice today!”

“Well, we don’t!” Olli was standing up now, furrowing his brows as he combed his hair with his hand.

“Then what are we here for?”

It was either the world’s most boring and poorly executed prank, or Olli had not been in his right mind when he had texted Joonas in the morning, ordering him to attend band practice late in the afternoon.

“Oh, god, you are thick…” he heard Olli mutter under his breath, rolling his eyes. “We’re here because I’m trying to tell you something.”

“You couldn’t have texted it?” Joonas glanced longingly at the birch trees swaying in the wind in front of the only window in the room.

“Not really.”

“Well, spill it, then? I don’t know about you but I’m sort of keen on going for a beer before they close the deck terrace.”

Olli sighed and picked up Joonas’ guitar again. 

“Here,” he said and pushed it towards Joonas.

Joonas looked at the guitar, then at Olli.

“Huh?”

Olli inhaled and exhaled shakily.

“Look inside.”

Joonas shot another sceptical look at Olli before taking the six-string from his hands. Then he peeped in through the sound hole. At first he couldn’t see anything at all, but when he was about to put the instrument down, he saw something sweep past the hole. He then lifted the guitar close to his face again and gave it a shake, and finally he saw what was hidden inside it. 

Dozens of four-leaf clovers, in varying sizes and shades of green. 

“Olli, what is this?”

Olli looked defeated as he shook his head.

“What do you think it is, Joonas?”

He heard Olli sigh quietly as they stared at each other.

…Oh.

“Olli–”

“I… I didn’t know how else to tell you.”

“Olli–”

“And I’m not expecting you to feel the same, I’m not expecting anything from you, just so you know.”

“Olli–”

“So we can just forget about this, you know, if that’s what you want. I don’t know how to get those out of there, though, sorry for ruining your guitar, I guess.” 

“Olli!”

“What?!”

Joonas didn’t tell him ‘what’.

He didn’t have the words at that moment.

Instead, he kissed him.

He placed his hands on Olli’s neck, where they had wandered so many times before on the pretext of the silliest things, and pressed his lips on Olli’s and just held him there, afraid to move or breathe or think, afraid it might all be just another one of his hopeless daydreams in which he built up the courage and snogged Olli’s stupid face in the middle of a gig.

When they finally did break apart, Joonas felt lightheaded, like he was about to pass out from the intoxicating chemical reactions blowing up his brain. Olli, on the other hand, breathed heavily against his mouth and placed a hand on Joonas’ chest, right where he had painted a scrubby four-leaf clover when they had been just clueless teenagers. 

The drawing had faded long ago, but the imprint had stayed in Joonas’ heart all these years.

Joonas pressed his nose on the top of Olli’s head. His lips moved against his hair as he spoke.

“Where did you even find that many four-leafs?”

Olli chuckled and nuzzled Joonas’ shoulder.

“It took me the whole spring to find even a handful.”

Joonas closed his eyes, picturing Olli at the task, sweeping through freshly-grown grass for four-leaf clovers.

“And there might be a few regular clovers. I wasn’t so picky towards the end.”

“Cheater!” Joonas smiled and planted a kiss on Olli’s temple when the man giggled. “Trying to woo me with deception and lies!”

“But it worked, did it not?”

“Yes,” Joonas admitted, “although a simple ‘I love you’ would have worked just the same.”

Olli lifted his head off Joonas shoulder and looked at him, his eyes wandering back and forth between Joonas’ eyes and his mouth.

“Is it too late to try that now?”

Joonas shook his head. “Never.”

“Good. Because I love you, Joonas. A lot.”

The delighted sound that escaped Olli’s mouth when Joonas booped his nose with his was enough to add at least twenty years to Joonas’ life.

“I love you too. I love you like crazy.”

Joonas had had many kinds of tattoos drawn all over his body, but he had sworn to himself that he would never get a tattoo in honour of a lover; tattoos might have been forever, but love? Who knows.

And yet, on their first official anniversary, on a hot afternoon in May, Joonas and Olli stepped out of a tattoo parlour hand in hand with fresh, matching tattoos representing four-leaf clovers: Olli on the inside of his wrist, Joonas over his heart.