#aplatonicspec

[ijustwannamakeemojis]

[ID: Six pixel hearts of various flags in order being Anattractional, Aplatonicspec, Aroacespec, Aesthetisexual, Quoisexual, and Aflux. End ID]

[jamiieeez]

Alternative Aspec flags based on the Acespec flag

Analterousspec

Asensualspec

Anaestheticspec

Aqueerplatonicspec

Aplatonicspec

[aroaceconfessions]

Ive nneve had a romantic crush but I did have a platonic crush that wasnt strong or lasted long, but it was the first time I felt smth for another person stronger then friendship. I didn't care about this at first until everyone around me started talking about crushes and relationships and due to me feeling left out, I started building this whole love story in my head about them and me. It lasted 5 years embarrassingly enough. And although all throughout those years at the back of my mind I knew romance felt gross and I didn't want to date this person, I still held onto the dream of being normal and having a crush like everyone else. I confessed years later hoping to let everything go and find some understanding (since all these feelings were so hard to understand). Then a couple months later I found the aroace community and they helped me understand everything I was experiencing. I don't think there was anything harder then trying to understand feelings as a aroace person. Like people just feel smth for someome and get together. While I have to think of a million different questions just to figure what that 5 second feeling was.

But, a question to other aromantics, asexuals and aplatonic if they would like, have you ever had a platonic crush and still not want to date them? I see everyone talking about getting into queer platonic relationship, but want to know if there are others out there that are also not interested in platonic relationships as well?

Submitted June 4, 2023

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Alright I’ve seen like 40 posts with shit like this “as an aroace shut up and stop saying aroaces can’t date we can ship who ever you want stop saying that allos!!” So I have to say something

Now, the thing is I half agree. I agree that aspec people can date and have sexual / romantic / platonic (aplatonicspec is included in apsec people) relationships. That is 100% fine and you are 110% valid.

This is where it changes:

You can ship who you want, but if you are shipping a romance/sex/(platonic? Friendship-?) repulsed person SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN. Yes, there are exceptions to everything, however there is a line. you are playing fucking jump rope with it. Helicopter to be exact. You don’t care who gets hurt, you’re just having fun swinging it around.

Which is fine, in its own way, fandom is dolls after all. But let us have one character? Let’s not shove that ship down people’s throats? Let’s not make it main stream? Let’s not ship every single character you see? Thank you

Also

Stop fucking “speaking for aroaces” as an aroace. I know for a fact I don’t speak for the aroaces, I speak for some maybe, maybe more will disagree with that but, either way, STOP.

You don’t speak for all aroaces when you say “aroace people can still date”

You don’t.

Maybe you speak for some.

But shut that fuck up about all.

Thanks for coming to my midnight rambles, I’ve been your host, Jamie! The time is 11:41pm

[bassguitarinablackt-shirt]

tbh as someone whos aplatonicspec and arospec and generally has a hard time what type of attraction i feel towards someone (if any) i typically just let the other person decide how to label the relationship. like as long as i like talking to you can call me your friend boyfriend queerplatonic partner internet sibling literally whatever you want and ill happily go along with it

[genderselkies]

a-spec dog pride icons

anstethic french bulldog, aqueerplatonic irish setter, aplatonicspec pekingese

acespec norweigan lundehunde, arospec giant schnauzer

asocial dutch shepherd, aspec neopolitain mastiff, and asensualspec australian cattle dog

[sysboxes]

sorry to ask but what does “having trouble with relationships that arent source relationships” mean? im having trouble understanding

basically,

their source relationships were so important to them (whether that be pseudomemories/exomemories, sourcemates within sys, sourcemates outside of sys, etc), that they struggle to have relationships with anyone else

example:

uhhh let’s say Rose and Jack from Titanic bc that’s all I can think of rn 😭😭

Jack is an alter. His memories of Rose are so important to him, he doesn’t wanna have relationships with anyone else. So either he doesn’t wanna have any relationships ever again or he would only wanna have relationships with an alter (or maybe kin or something) of Rose.

this could go for any type of relationship or specific types of relationships.

example: someone not wanting to be close friends and possibly being aplatonic or aplatonicspec because their best friends from source were too important to them

hopefully this makes sense bc I’m half asleep-

(Also don’t be sorry for asking! It’s ok to not know things and to ask questions as long as you’re respectful about them /gen)

[oceanamethyst]

I love you my fellow aplatonicspecs

[terezicaptor]

aro gay etoiles btw. aroflux mspec gay tubbo btw. aplatonicspec grayromantic bipan phil btw. poly demiromantic pan lesbian mousey btw. aroace bi ambiamorous mike btw. aroace jaiden btw. grayromantic demisexual lesbian tina btw.

[wackpedion]

i might be aplatonicspec but an irl wants to hang out tmrw and i dont wanna be deemed an asshole by social convention so idrc bout that rn

[ijustwannamakeemojis]

[ID: Six pixel hearts of various flags in order being Idemseromantic, Alt aspec #6 and 7 or something, Asensual Aroace, Alt Aplatonicspec, and Dark Greyrose. End ID]

[jamiieeez]

Anattraction

Anattractional alt. flag | Anattractionalspec alt. flag | Greyattractional

Demiattractional | Delloattractional | Fictioattractional

Anattractionalflux | Anattractionalfluid | Anattractionalflexible

Anattractionalspike V.1 | Anattractionalspike V.2 | Anattractionaljump

Darkgreyanattractional | Lightgreyanattractional | Atomoanattractional

Reciproanattractional | Lithioanattractional | Frayanattractional

Myranattractional | Cupioattractional | Bellusattractional

Anattractionalvague | Lovelessanattractional | Heartlessanattractional

Apothiattractional | Orchidattractional | Neuroattractional

Autianattractional | Caedattractional | Nebulaattractional

Nebulaattractional: When someone has truble to or can't distiguish between attraction types due to their neurodivergency. The difference between Nebulaattractional and nebulous attraction [link] is that nebulaattractional is specifically when none of one's attraction types are clearly distinguishable and/or when one has generally truble understanding what attraction as a whole is/feels like. Also unlike nebulous attraction nebulaattractional is exclusive to neurodivergent people. Nebulaattractional people might identify as nebulatomantic, nebulasexual, nebulaplatonic, nebulasensual, nebulaqueerplatonic, nebulalterous, nebulaalterous and nebulaaesthetic. Color picked from the cat paw nebula [link]. Inspiration for this post came from Ryanyflags' posts with different Aspec lables, here as an example is the one with Aplatonicspec[link].

[fallenrain40]

thinking about if im aplatonic or not, and if i am, where on the spectrum. the problem is i don't really relate to many aplatonic people. but i feel the term still fits me. it's just that- sure, i don't mind talking to people. but most of the time i'm not looking for any sort of connection with them. there are a FEW people, just a few, that I do want a connection with, but that is fairly rare. and if I don't have much in common with someone, it's highly unlikely i will want to be around that person for long. this, from my perspective, shows that i'm less looking for an actual connection, and simply someone to share interests with. if they don't share my interests, then i don't care about being around them. there are very few people who i would still want a connection with even if our interests do not align at times. also, I'm pretty touch averse.

like, for example, if i want to play a video game, I might decide it'd be more fun with someone else. but it's becuase of the way said game is made, and becuase teamwork is fun. (and becuase I might be able to talk about my interests while i'm at it.) the reason i want to play it is less becuase of connecting with others, and more just becuase... the game is fun and made to be even more fun if others are involved. yknow? I've also always felt since i was a little kid that there are two types of friends. There's my "friends" (the people that i know and talk to. i call them my friends cause... idk what else to call them.) and then there are my friends (the people i actually have a desire to hang out with). the latter was always much less common. and even then, it feels like I sought out friendship for stimulation, for something to do, rather than cause I wanted to feel connected to anyone. cause i don't really want to. idk. it's really hard to explain and it's hard not to feel bad about saying that i don't feel platonic attraction often, if at all. it's not necessarily that i don't LIKE platonic relationships, because I do like them! I like the quite a bit. But I don't think I feel them the way others do. I think it's very possible I am greyplatonic and platonic-favorable. I'd like to hear what some other aplatonicspec people have to say about this <3

[lame-zany]

I think I might be aplatonicspec

[bassguitarinablackt-shirt]

favorite pjo headcanons go

eheheheehehhehehee :3

transmasc luke giving transmasc percy his first binder, thalia and jason both being mixed with thalia having more visibly black features and jason having more visibly white features, transfem genderqueer aroallo lesbian thalia, t4t solangelo, he/they/it nico, aplatonicspec nico, transfem percy x transmasc annabeth, genderfluid4genderfluid percabeth, all athena kids being autistic, trans jason grace (fem or masc either works), 12 year old percy having a small gay crush on luke, ethan nakamura and percy having this weird homoerotic rivalry thing going on, I HAVE SO MANY MORE ITS INSANE,,,,

[harmony-discord-pipeline]

not for the housemates I am living with currently. if you know me irl and read this let me know so that I can know? also, please don't share this with them?

I just...I need a place to share all of this, to get my thoughts down, before thoughts overwhelm me.

(continued below the read more)

you know...if some time ago (the chronology doesn't quite work due to not totally overlapping, but...that's a bit pedantic) I told past me,

"...wait, I started transitioning? but..."

"okay, you will tell your friends that you're aplatonicspec...oh, also, you'll tell one of your friends that you have been hyperfixating on them for multiple months*, and that also there is a strong alterous crush** component to it."

(edit: I think "you will have been" works better here, as while multiple months of realizing came before telling them about it, I wasn't aware of this at the supposed time this conversation is happening.)

"we're not done. one of those things will lead to relationships with...some of your friends...to begin Deteriorating Rapidly, due to their anxieties, unless you scramble to fix their own anxieties before you assuage your own for months afterwards, in ways that still don't feel better after almost half a year. but one of those things will be pretty much immediately found interesting, and accepted, and not change our interactions with anyone for the worse. have fun preparing for the move!"

previous me with all of my...baggage...well okay I'd have focused most on the "figuring out I'm trans and am now on HRT" part of all this, but most of me would have...of those mentioned things, given my baggage, assumed that the first thing would not be the thing that caused the most personal damage that has resulted in undoing months of healing and growing as a person with regards to fears of being rejected, isolated, and "forced to leave the friend group" the second I wanted to not hide myself.

(striking that out because the friend that most responded in the way causing this distress has expressed that they...wish they could take back having pronounced those words in that order. it probably will take a bit...it's already been over six months since the problems started and over four since they...since those words were pronounced.)

this entire situation, months after the fact, it feels even worse since the friend that I...back then...felt would be the least likely to stop accepting me as I am, even temporarily...although I'm still not sure if it's actually temporary or if...if to some extent they still are having trouble accepting this part of who I am...and they're the one that helped me realize my aromanticism by not judging me for who I was...so.

on the list of things that I've been scared of this year (not the calendar year), "telling one of my friends I'm living with I'm hyperfixating on them, and have been for some time" was the one I was expecting to lead to an increased distance from my friend group...I didn't expect it to end up being the other thing.

footnotes.

* not specifying how many months, as I still have not communicated this to them yet, although I do plan to. also, still working to figure out exactly when I started hyperfixating on them first, so that I know.

** an "alterous crush" not in the typically understood definition of what an "alterous crush" is. just...it's the word that currently fits how I understand it the best subject to change as I figure this out with their help.

also, I am intentionally using they/them pronouns to avoid disclosing which of my three housemates that any part of this may references, for those that know both me and the pronouns of all of my housemates.