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dustofthedailylife · 1 year

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No Gift Greater Than Love

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Pairing: Alhaitham, Ayato x (gn!) Reader

Summary: It's your birthday so he plans to spend some time with you.

Tags: Fluff, a teeny tiny bit of angst/uncertainty at the beginning if you squint, confessions, kissing, Ayato is being a smooth talker

A/N: I wanted to write a little self-indulgent fic for my birthday today, so here it is. Posting an HSR fic as well later! :3 I also can't add an animated header because tumblr hates me again so, sorry about that! ;_;

ALHAITHAM

You rarely ever took a day off work, not when you were sick, not when you were tired, and especially not when you had so many deadlines coming up. And knowing the perfectionist you are there was no way you’d even rest for a single day until everything was set and done. Only then you would allow yourself to rest.

So you sat there, at your desk, on your birthday, with your head buried in your books and no other plans but to study all day long. But besides that, you still hoped your friends didn’t forget you and would at least come by to wish you a happy birthday or send you mail.

Because despite not wanting to make a big deal out of your birthday and running around being like ‘Hey, did you know, today is my birthday?’, reminding people that it was your birthday and expecting gifts, you at least wanted some birthday wishes from your friends. That wasn’t too much to ask, right? Especially after your own brother forgot your birthday last year, which despite having a great day made you cry back then.

So you were positively surprised to find letters from your parents, your brother, Cyno and Tighnari in your mailbox on the morning of your birthday. Kaveh had stopped by before he visited another one of his clients as well to drop off his – quote: “magnum opus of birthday cakes”. Which was essentially just a one-by-one model of your house in cake form - with some additional tweaks he must’ve made out of artistic liberty here and there. It looked almost too good to eat.

Tighnari and Cyno both sent you a small gift and a letter with birthday wishes as well.

The only one who hadn’t yet sent anything or stopped by was Alhaitham. Not like you expected him to actually treat today any differently than any other day in the first place. Birthdays weren’t exactly something he cared about. Yet, despite knowing his attitude towards them, you felt disappointment welling up inside of you. You secretly hoped you would be his exception. But apparently not.

Swallowing the lump in your throat down you dove head first into your study materials to distract yourself. Successfully. Because before you realized the sun was barely just a thin line on the horizon and a knock could be heard on your door.

You peeled yourself away from your desk, stretching your exhausted limbs on the way, only for them to tense up again when you saw who was standing in front of your door. Alhaitham.

“You look tired.” He remarked monotonously.

“Good evening to you, too.” You rolled your eyes, but without being able to suppress a small smile. After all, you knew his antics by now and his blunt statement came out of a place of concern and care. He simply huffed in reply, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards in a barely noticeable manner.

However, you couldn’t help but wonder about his visit. Could it be that he stopped by because of your–

“Do you still want to go grab dinner?” He inquires, stopping your train of thought.

Right. It was Thursday. The day you usually meet up at the Tavern after work to get dinner with your other friends every week. It totally slipped your mind since you were so buried in your studies all day. Of course, he didn’t stop by just because it was your birthday, stupid.

You nod in reply to his question and quickly grab your keys before following outside into the still-warm and muggy fall air. It smelled like damp leaves that had begun to fall and spices that always seemed to hang into the Sumerian air. It had already gone dark and the moon was hanging high in the sky, framed by a myriad of little sparkling stars. You had always loved the night sky, especially on cloudless nights like tonight.

“Do you mind if we do a little detour?” Alhaitham questioned out of the blue.

“Uh…, no not at all.”

“Good.” He nodded his head to the side, urging you to follow him to wherever he planned to go.

He began walking up the ramp to the Akademiya again, which caused you to assume that he must’ve forgotten something in his office earlier. But when he walked right past his office door and led you outside again you were beginning to wonder.

You were now standing on a secluded balcony. On it stood a blue pavilion with a mosaic roof and a single stone bench that offered a perfect view over Sumeru and the beautifully illuminated night sky.

“Beautiful…”, you mutter in awe.

“Agreed.” Alhaitham mused contently. What you failed to notice at the moment however was, that, unlike you, he wasn’t referring to the view you were referring to. He was looking right at you out of the corners of his eyes.

“I didn’t know there was such a beautiful place up here.” You exclaimed in surprise, leaning on the railing of the balcony.

“I often come here to read. Not many people know of this place.”

You could definitely see why he loved this place so much. But one question began to push itself into the foreground of your mind more and more.

“Why… did you lead me here, though?” You questioned curiously but interrupted yourself when a shooting star appeared in your field of view. “Wait, was that–? Alhaitham, did you see that?”

You turned around excitedly gifting him a smile. And the shine in your eyes sparkled more intensely than the stars in the night sky ever could.

“Close your eyes.” He urged. “Make a wish.”

You grinned widely, turned around to face him, and closed your eyes.

“You have to make your wish too, though.” You reminded him teasingly.

“I already did.”

You tried to think of something to wish for. Especially after being led here you couldn’t think of anything you desired right now.

Do you? Are you maybe not betraying your own thoughts again?

No. You didn’t dare to think about what your heart really yearned for. What it truly desired. It would never come true anyway. Alhaitham would never feel the same for you.

He didn’t even remember your birthday today.

You were just friends.

And yet you couldn’t get the image of kissing him out of your head, continuously replaying in front of your inner eye. No matter how hard you tried to push it away.

There was no way you could wish for–

You felt him inch closer to you. Leaning one hand against the railing behind you while the other hand brushed a strand of hair out of your face before he rested it against your cheek. Spearmint breath and the tangy smell of moss and pines from his aftershave ghosted over your face. He was so close by now that you could feel the heat that radiated off his skin and his breath fan over your lips.

For a moment you thought you could hear that his breath was shaky. Was he nervous?

Your mind was racing a thousand miles per hour at this point, and so was your heart. The irritated muscle was thumping against your chest with such ferocious intensity that you feared he may be able to hear it as well. Question after question and speculation after speculation popped into your mind, completely overwhelming your senses.

What was he doing? Why was he so close? How long have you had your eyes closed already? What was his plan? All of these were questions you found no immediate answers to.

You slightly parted your lips in order to speak and were just about to open your eyes again when he muttered something.

Happy Birthday.

Something that made your breath hitch and heart sing as your lips molded together, fulfilling what you had both wished for.

AYATO

You’ve been on your feet since roughly 4:30 a.m., running up and down the halls of the Kamisato Estate to help the Retainers with the preparation of the most important political meeting all year.

Much to your dismay it had to fall exactly on the day of your birthday and had to be held at the Kamisato Estate. Which meant you wouldn’t get to see Ayato for most of the day and had to spend it alone. Well, mostly. The staff, Ayaka and Thoma were still there, too, but just like you, they were busy helping as well. All hands were needed today.

Ayato woke up around the same time you had and wished you a happy birthday first thing before already having to rush out to run errands.

But you understood the importance of the ordeal and were not mad or disappointed. Which seemed to have not gotten through to Ayato yet, who seemed extra touchy today whenever you ran into him in the hallway this morning.

Just now as you were carrying some items into the huge room the conference was supposed to be held in, you walked past Ayato in the hall once again.

Gloved, slender fingers suddenly found a place around your waist and turned you around. One of his hands wandered to the back of your head, pulling your face against his chest while he pressed a kiss to the crown of your head.

He stayed quiet for a moment, soaking your presence in, and exhaling heavily before uttering yet another apology into your hair.

“My love, please forgive me. I’m so sorry we are not able to spend all of today together to celebrate.”

“How often do I need to reassure you that it is alright, Ayato? I’m not upset in the slightest. In fact, I understand the importance of this. It may be my birthday but at the bottom of it, it is just a day like any other.” You reassured, burying your face deeper into his chest and basking in his warmth for this fleeting moment while inhaling the familiar flowery scent that always seemed to linger around him.

You heard him sigh before you looked up at him. He pressed his lips together into a thin line, before kissing the crown of your head once more with a defeated look in his eyes. One that carried all his thoughts and emotions at once. You knew he was sorry, it was practically written on his face.

Sorry, that he couldn’t spend your day with you, that he wasn’t able to give you all the attention to deserved, and that he had to waste his precious time away with some boring politicians.

The hand that rested on your waist gave you another reaffirming squeeze before he peeled himself away from you again with a slight frown on his beautiful features. The sadness and disappointment still lingered behind his lilac irises. He was definitely beating himself up over it way more than you did.

“Okay.” He nodded in defeat. “I will see you in the evening, yeah?”

“Alright!” You cheered, giving him an honest smile. “And stop beating yourself up over it, okay?”

He nodded, squeezing your hands with his for one last time before going back to work.

You continued helping out around the Estate until all the guests arrived and the door to the room all of them vanished into stayed shut. You expected them to stay in there at least until the late afternoon, if not even the evening.

And you were right, the sun had already begun to set when you felt a familiar pair of arms snake around your waist from behind again. You had been sitting outside in the garden and reading your book, soaking in the soothing late summer breeze while eagerly awaiting the end of Ayato's meeting.

"There you are." You hummed contently carding through the soft pastel blue locks of your husband who had his head buried in the crook of your neck. "I missed you."

"And so did I. It's been a long and exhausting day." He spoke in a low voice, as if he was about to drift off to sleep any minute, and slung his arms impossibly tighter around your midriff.

"Let's go for a short stroll to the city, my love. Will you join me? It doesn't sit right with me that you had to spend your birthday in solitude." He proposed in an afflicted tone.

"Aren't you too tired for–"

"I will not hear any objections." He interrupted, lifting his finger against your lips with a smug grin.

And so you found yourself strolling through Ritou hand in hand. By the time you had arrived, the sun had completely set and the paper lanterns illuminated the streets, draping a comfortable blanket of yellow light over the surrounding area.

It was a quiet night. Just how you preferred it. No massive crowds of people you had to squeeze through, no queues in front of restaurants, and no one who would stop you to talk to Ayato. Just you, him, and the cicadas in the trees that bemoaned the encroaching end of the summer.

"Do you want me to get us some milk tea? I saw that my vendor of choice is still open." He asked when you sat down on a bench underneath a tall maple tree just out of sight of potential prying eyes and not far from said vendor.

"I'd love to."

"Anything specific you’d like me to get?"

"You choose.” You smiled brightly. “Surprise me.”

“Alright. Stay right here, I’ll be right back.”

You watched as he made his way over to the stall, carefully studying the menu with squinted eyes and a hand on his chin. You bit your lip and laughed to yourself because, as always, he was taking this tea business way too seriously.

Eventually, he picked an item before going right back to studying the menu as if he wanted to burn the letters themselves, into his retina. The vendor was visually nervous to be serving the man in front of him in fear of messing anything up and was twirling a straw between his fingers to calm himself. Until your husband finally decided on the second drink he wanted to order.

The vendor carefully handed the drinks to Ayato and promptly refused when he was offered Mora in return. Ayato skillfully ignored the man and promptly put the coins inside the tray before walking back in your direction with two cups of tea in hand.

“So, what did you get for me?” You quizically raised your eyebrows at the drink he handed you.

“I guess there is only one way for you to find out.” He smirked, taking a sip out of his own cup.

You carefully did the same, subconsciously expecting something like salty algae tea with sea ganoderma pearls, because you knew your husband and his strange tastes. But alas, you had signed up for it.

But unlike what you were expecting, black milk tea with a tinge of honey and sunsettia pearls enveloped your tastebuds soon after. Your favorite.

You hummed and closed your eyes with a smile, raveling in the refreshing taste of the beverage, making you forget how lonely you had been most of the day.

“You chose well.” You contently stated after a brief moment of indulging in your tea and looked at Ayato with a smile.

He inched closer to you on the bench with a devilish smirk painted across his lips. He shifted your chin upwards, making eye contact with you for a fleeting moment before uniting his lips with yours in a tender, loving kiss. And after all this time, it never failed to make the butterflies in your stomach flutter about wildly.

He gently took your hand in his as he began to carefully twist the wedding band around your finger. He looked up into your eyes, a sly smile adorned his lips once more before he smugly whispered: “Of course. I always do.”

Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about Genshin or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.

#genshin impact #astronetwrk #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #alhaitham x reader #al haitham x reader #genshin fluff #ayato x reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin x female reader #genshin x y/n #genshin impact fanfic #genshin drabbles #genshin scenarios #genshin brainrot #genshin headcanons #🍁 dust writes #🍁彡 gi

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actual-changeling · 2 months

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Hi! I'm doing a rewatch of the x files and this is the first time I got so invested in MSR and I was wondering if you had some fic recs? there are so so many online I have no idea how to find the best ones lol I'm okay with explicit content btw thanks in advance!

Give me a few days and I'll make a more comprehensive masterpost but I can give you some good starting points!

Self-promo first, you can find me on ao3 and any tumblr-only ficlets under the tag #alex writes x files. My bookmarks are public and I save every single fic I read on there, so you can have a look through those if you want.

@today-in-fic this is the account to follow to get fresh fics on your dash. they simply reblog any TXF fanfics they get tagged in, so they're somewhat of an archive in by itself.

Writers plus general amazing TXF accounts

@msrafterdark if you don't mind smut then this one is a must!

@bakedbakermom // @sisterspooky1013 // @thursdayinspace

@randomfoggytiger (an absolute goldmine concerning everything MSR and TXF, especially when it comes to meta posts)

@television-overload // @baronessblixen // @thescullyphile

@deathsbestgirl // @scullysexual // @numinousmysteries

@fine-nephrit // @scullysflannel // @fossilizedhearts

@not-aliens // @julmunne

More Additions by @unremarkablehouse

@phillippadgettwrites (smut warning!)

@tatooedlaura-blog // @agent-troi // @katy-kt-katie

@thatfragilecapricorn30 // @slippinmickeys // @skelavender

@freckleslikestars // @gaycrouton // @cassiopeia462

@lotsoforangesoutside // @spookydarlablack

(Live) Episode Reaction & Rewatches

@enigmaticxbee @mulders-too-large-shirt

Other Specializations

Dana Scully Lookbook Project The X-Files Script Archive

AO3 author & fic recs

Sareki (author)

Thirty Five Hundred Miles And A Lifetime To Go

Long hours on the road and in the skies, how will Dana Scully and Fox Mulder fill the silence? What silence? A collection of road trip oneshots through their years together and the games they play..

The Modern Gateway Motel

After a traumatic experience, Mulder fabricated an X-file as a way to help Scully escape reality. Over the years, they returned to “investigate” that special place and take advantage of all it had to offer, exploring aspects of their relationship that they attempted to ignore in the real world. As time passed, it grew harder to confine the relationship they shared to that specific time and place.

Gradients

He didn’t want Scully in his bed so much as he wanted that last barrier gone. Sex seemed to be the demarcation for her, as she’d apparently decided that once that hurdle had been cleared, it would signal her complete surrender to him. As if she hadn’t already done that. As if he hadn’t with her a long time ago.

PLEASE feel free to leave your own additions (self promo explicitly welcomed) and I'll add them.

#alex answers asks #alex watches x files #txf #the x files #x files #dana scully #fox mulder #scully x mulder #mulder x scully #msr

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lemotmo · 3 months

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Hi!! First, I just wanted to say I always enjoy checking out your posts because you have such great takes and treat every single ask with such respect. Even when it’s something that you may disagree with, you always take the time to ensure everyone that it’s just your opinion and respect the other person’s point of view! :) It’s so refreshing to see because I feel like over hiatus especially the fandom has become somewhat of a dumpster fire…lol.

Also, I agree completely about Oliver. He always says that he trusts Tim and his writing so I don’t think he would necessarily ask to have Lou leave or for BT to end abruptly or anything. And as much as we all say “oh he hates that man” we truly don’t know. What we do know, at least by his tweets at the time, was there was some tension in his friendship with Ryan several years back. Like it’s crazy to think during the shooting arc and will scene and Eddie breakdown arc in s5 that there was so much tension offscreen. It just goes to show how much of a professional he is! I also don’t think the other side is true either where Oliver is apparently purposely not promoting BT or interacting with Lou on social media to “protect him from the buddie fans.” I just think Oliver isn’t super active on social media for his own reasons and people look waaayyyy too much into things. Anyway, sorry this was so long winded LOL I just wanted to point out that we truly don’t know Oliver or his thoughts and feelings and some people making these inferences sound almost more like headcanons and it’s giving parasocial.

First of all, thank you Nonny. That means a lot to me. I always do my very best to try to stay respectful towards people and ships on my blog. That doesn’t mean that I don’t give my very honest opinions and critical takes on certain topics, but I don’t feel the need to yell over it and use more explicit language. I also avoid specific shipping tags for ships I don’t like and character tags for characters I don't like. I find that being respectful like that ultimately gets you further.

Now, that also doesn’t mean that I don’t get frustrated with some takes in fandom. But I mostly -and wisely- choose to rant about that to some of my Tumblr mutuals/friends in private. Throwing out all of my more hateful frustrations in public would only generate more hate and I try to avoid that. My inbox is so much more interesting when I get positive asks. I admit that I get so many asks these days that it has become impossible to answer them all.

Now, I do want to reply to your ask because you talk about a few topics that are near and dear to my heart and -of course- I have some opinions about. 😊

I first want to address The Ryan part of your ask. I was around in fandom during those days. It wasn’t pretty, but the way people talk about this now is a complete overreaction. The cast’s reaction to this event totally gets blown out of proportion. There was some tension for a while there, sure. Oliver deleted some of his tweets/Instagram posts that had to do with Ryan and then he unfollowed him.

But it was obvious that it didn’t take Oliver and the rest of the cast too long to move on. I’m pretty sure that, by the time the shooting arc came along, followed closely by the breaking down arc, Oliver and Ryan were on good terms again. Maybe not as close as they were before at that specific moment, but still on good terms. Both men are professionals and they did such a fantastic job when it came to those amazing scenes.

Now, don’t get me wrong, what Ryan said was inappropriate and disrespectful, I agree. However, the man apologised immediately and he has been working hard since then to become a better and lighter version of himself. And he has succeeded as we can all see how well he gets along with the entire cast and especially the POC in the cast that have completely moved past his mistake.

These days Ryan and Oliver are like two peas in a pod. They have always been close and they have always had insane chemistry, but ever since the beginning of season 7 it has all been ramped up. I’m one of the people convinced that they got the news that Buddie is finally happening. That they got the green light to go there. Which is something they have wanted for a long time now.

Now, second… as to Oliver not liking Lou? I’m afraid that I’m going to have to disagree with you on this one. I really do think that Oliver doesn’t like Lou all that much. If he was upset and angry over what Ryan said in one video a couple of years ago, I can only imagine his horrified reaction to all those terrible, disrespectful and inappropriate Instagram posts Lou made, for which he hasn’t apologised at all by the way. That interview he did with Lou also doesn’t help. Oliver wasn’t comfortable at all. His body language screamed: “I don’t want to be here.” And Lou just kept on talking about himself. I don’t know why Oliver was even there. BT was hardly even mentioned.

So, while I don’t think that Oliver would ask Tim to get rid of Lou, I only think he wouldn’t ask in function of the Buddie arc they are telling. If Tommy’s presence is necessary in that arc? Oliver will suck it up like the professional he is, because if there is one thing he wants more than anything for Buck, it’s Eddie. If Tim were to tell Oliver that he wanted to take the BT relationship further in any way, I do think he would protest and say ‘no’.

Oliver not promoting BT or Tommy has to do with the fact that he knows that Tommy isn’t sticking around as Buck’s love interest. Tommy is a plot device. He has always been a plot device. That is the way the show set him up. He is meant to have a purpose in the Buddie arc. What that purpose is? We don’t know. But it’s all there in the narrative for those who are willing to look at it logically and from a writer’s point of view.

A few seasons ago Oliver just stopped talking about Buddie. In some of his latest interviews he confessed that he stopped talking about them because he didn’t want to lead the fans on. He knew it would never happen under FOX. As soon as the show came into the hands of ABC, he started yapping about Buddie again. Him and Ryan were so vocal about them. It was clear that something had shifted. They knew that they were finally going there. Buddie was happening, but it would take some time to get there.

When they got renewed it was obvious that Tim decided to take his time for Buddie and put a temporary break on their development, so he could do it right in season 8. That didn’t stop him from putting them together in every other scene they were in. 😉

Now, like with all good slow burn couples there has to be a narrative foil. And in comes Tommy. Tommy who seems interested in Eddie. Buck who clearly gets jealous over the fact that Tommy is stealing Eddie (and Chris) from him. And then Tommy realising that he won’t get far with Eddie, but Buck (who is completely confused about his own emotions at this point) seems a little interested, so why not give it a go?

So, why is Oliver not talking about Tommy or engaging with anything BT while he still talks about Buddie and interacted with Buddie stuff up until the finale? Because he knows where the story is heading. History is repeating itself. Oliver doesn’t want to lead the BT fans on, so he simply doesn’t react or interact with anything Tommy or BT. And there is also the element that it is very clear right now that both Oliver and Ryan are actively rooting for Buddie and only Buddie. They know what their characters need. Love that for us! 😊

None of this is about headcanons by the way. It has been said -in words- time and time again, by Oliver himself (and Ryan as well) that he would love Buddie to happen, if it was written well. He shows it in everything he does on social media. Him and Ryan talked about reading fan fiction and watching video edits. I mean, he couldn’t make it anymore clear that he wants Buddie and not BT. So, this is not a headcanon. This is fact.

This is also not about parasocial relationships. We all like Oliver and Ryan, but most of us admire them from afar. We don’t go into their inboxes to message them or we don’t send them weird messages. I know that there are always some more outspoken fanatics in every fandom and the Buddie fandom is not an exception to that. It sadly cannot be avoided, but overall we have been pretty good as a fandom I would say.

That brings us to Lou and his army of goons…

Mind you, I’m not talking about the many normal and lovely sane BT fans and multi-shippers who genuinly like Tommy. Ship and let ship and all. Most of these fans fully realise that Tommy’s time on the show is probably limited. Anonymous OP shoutout!

I’m talking about the select few (the more outspoken and loud fandom fanatics I mentioned before) who accused Buddie fans of hacking one of their Twitter accounts and who thought it was a swell idea to DM Tim with a too long video about strings of fate (which Tim later admitted to never watching) and ask him about Tommy’s age and other stuff. That is just crazy and a big no no in any fandom. Leave the show runners and actors alone. I don’t care who you ship. Just leave them alone.

The biggest problem is this: Lou made up a bunch of nonsensical headcanons about Tommy and BT that go against every single thing we have seen in canon so far. Canon has shown us, time and time again, that Tommy isn’t really interested in Buck for a loving relationship. Everything he says is reduced to sexual innuendo. And no, I am not a little quivering virgin lady who is afraid of sex and who doesn’t understand the dynamics between two adults in a sexual relationship. I am, in fact, an adult who has had sexual relationships and who knows exactly how relationships work between two adults in their thirties or forties.

Fully grown adults have paid hundreds of dollars to listen to Lou spout his nonsense. These people have all bought the same shirt Lou was wearing in one of his cameos. They call it the Louniform. These people believe every single thing that comes out of Lou’s mouth and take it as gospel. They have extensively hated on Ryan and Eddie. And lately they have even been hating on Oliver because he doesn’t support BT enough in their eyes.

Now that, THAT is a textbook example of a parasocial relationship with an actor.

They call the Buddie shippers ‘homophobic’ for not liking a character. I myself have received some asks in my inbox accusing me of being homophobic. I’m sorry, But WHAT? Look, I have never lied about not vibing with Tommy. I don’t like him as a character. I’m not hateful about it. I don’t spew my dislike for Tommy all over the BT tag or something like that. I just respectfully talk about how he isn’t right for Buck on my own personal blog. This is called ‘Having an opinion and sharing it.’

Tommy is just not my kind of guy at all. I don’t vibe with his demeanour and behaviour. I don’t think he is a good match for Buck. I don’t like the way he treats Buck. And yes! I am a Buddie shipper! So of course a part of why I don’t like him is rooted in the opinion that he is the wrong guy for Buck. But there is so much more to it than only that. Now all of this is not me being homophobic. It is just me being critical and actually using my brain to understand what the show is ultimately really trying to tell me: Tommy is a plot device and we are not supposed to like him!

I’m tired of being accused of something that I am not, over disliking a character that we aren’t even supposed to like in the first place. It’s crazy behaviour. It needs to stop!

Anyway, I’m sorry Nonny. I didn’t mean to end up venting like this on your ask, but it just happened. Now I’m the one being long winded. Sorry.😊 I’m not mad at you or anything like that. Don’t worry.

On the contrary, you helped me get some of these things out in a well written, but still respectful way. You got me writing about all of the fandom things that have been bugging me lately. I was on fire. So, in a weird way: Thank you for your assistance. ❤️

#insight into 911 fandom & season 7 and 8 #buddie speculation #season 8 speculation #oliver stark #buddie #ryan guzman #yes I'm tagging this Buddie because this is important for the Buddie arc #911 abc #I was due for a good venting post #Thank you Nonny #nonnies galore

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morgansplace · 2 months

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REDACTED AWARDS 2024 🎤 hosted by @plaqying

SO. I've been a lasko guy since I discovered the channel thanks to one of his audios back in 2021, which was his first hot boi summer.

1. He's literally been the whole theme for my blog for months

2. There's not a single fucking day where I don't think about this man. It is CONCERNING

3. I can't shut up about him.

4. I have all his audios memorized thanks to how many times I've listened to them.

5. I once sat down and wrote his non-canon confession WORD BY WORD for the sake of a self-indulgence fic I was writing for myself.

6. I have more than ten Google docs about fl/lasko and dear/lasko fics that I wrote for no one other than myself.

7. He's the character everyone thinks of when they think about me

8. I have a tag dedicated to him so I can find the posts I make/reblog about him [#las posting]

9. Dear is my self insert.

10. I literally only post about him vvv

11. I have a photo of his icon on my homescreen

12. My username on some social media platforms is quite literally @/laskosbf

13. I have so many headcanons about him as a character that I've lost count

14. Even though my top 5 redacted guys has changed a lot since I started listening, Lasko has always been #1

15. When his first audio meeting Dear came out a bunch of people started tagging me and asking if I was okay or if I had died from shock (I was NOT okay😭)

16. I've been told by a bunch of mutuals (and non mutuals too) that they recognize me as "the lasko guy"

17. Even my non-redacted fan friends know about him because I can't shut up about that man

18. I check the redacted lasko tag multiple times throughout the day

19. APPARENTLY IVE SAID HIS NAME 900+ TIMES ON A DISCORD SERVER??? WHAT

20. He's one of my top kins

21. I used his name for my favorite thing in stardew valley vvv

22. I used the description from his yt Playlist for my wsp name (and other socials too) vvv

23. Back in 2021 when I was decorating my closet I wrote his name in a bunch of little sticky notes and I put them all over the space. I also doodled his icon on the wooden walls of it with a black marker 😰

24. pretty self explanatory I think (my tumblr header)

Idk man. Liking lasko is a personality trait of mine. I think these are enough proof 😭😭😭

#redacted awards 2024 #redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted lasko #las posting #morgans brain #i keep adding shit cause i remember it randomly #i cant add more photos but my pinned post. MY PINNED POST!!!

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thatswhatsushesaid · 10 days

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tagged (kinda) by @mingguangsword!

i lost my first draft of this post 😭 let's try again.

1. why did you choose your url? because i am weak for puns, and because i am actually su she. weepy yet defensive lestat de lioncourt at the end of s2 voice, i am him, he is me.

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. a whole whack of them:

@dailyayao which is just daily screenshots and scans of jin guangyao from all versions of the mdzs canon

@yaozongzhupressoffice my neglected satire blog where i answer asks and reblog stuff in-character as yao-zongzhu. occasionally will make references to his entirely heterosexual feelings for his very good friend ouyang-zongzhu in the tags.

@itwasabeautifulwebbing my minthara baenre from baldur's gate 3 simping blog lol. it's also turning into a catch-all for various video game nonsense, tho i'm definitely not as active there as i am here.

@fakerashid same deal as above, just for armand from amc's interview with the vampire.

3. how long have you been on tumblr? i first joined back in 2011 with a different username back in the migration of the dragon age fandom from livejournal to tumblr, and have been kicking around in some form or another ever since.

4. do you have a queue tag? sure do! 'moling queue' because, as i said, i'm weak for puns.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? originally this blog had a different username, and i started it with the intention of cross-posting very serious horror fiction thinkpieces from a wordpress site. obviously i stopped doing that and have been enjoying myself a lot more here since i stopped taking myself so seriously lmao.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? i don't understand the question, that's literally me, su-zongzhu. (please god recognize this is a joke)

7. why did you choose your header? i just think jgy and sms look very powerful and dapper together in that scene. 😌

8. what’s your post with the most notes? some unfortunate ides of march shitpost that broke containment within an hour, i have it muted and hope to never think about it again.

9. how many mutuals do you have? no idea. lots? lots and lots?

10. how many followers do you have? 1271 as of this morning.

11. how many people do you follow? apparently 400 on the nose

12. have you ever made a shitpost? absolutely not, i don't have a sense of humour or believe in laughter.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? every time my attention wanders pretty much lmfao (despondent)

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? never!!!! 😬

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? i ignore them.

16. do you like tag games? yes!

17. do you like ask games? "i love them, but i don't like chain asks" <- same hat

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? "probably ray" <- oh no oh dear 😬 i think if i qualify as tumblr famous (doubt.jpeg) then probably a bunch of my mutuals are, too.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? i am boring and married so no.

20. what is the last song you listened to? this performance of the famous "flowing water" composition for the guqin.

21. what are you currently watching? nirvana in fire, and it's consumed my soul. mei changsu 👀...... /clenches my fist

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? "savory"! <- correct!!!

23. what is your current relationship status? "literally on my way to break up with someone T_T i'll be single in a few hours!!!" <- omg fennel!!??? um, as i said above, i'm married! no plans to divorce mr. sushesaid, he surprised me with flowers and takeout from my favourite indian restaurant yesterday because i was having a rough day.

24. what is your current obsession? jin guangyao. it's still jin guangyao. it's probably going to be jin guangyao this time next year too.

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

it's not an album, but basically all of the ensemble and solo performances by zi de guqin studio on youtube.

return to cookie mountain, tv on the radio

the wellermen's album of shanties and other arranged covers

the hades 2 videogame soundtrack

the baldur's gate 3 videogame soundtrack

the chain, fleetwood mac

all of the lyrical ballads from the kentucky route zero videogame soundtrack (are u noticing a pattern, because i am)

the haven videogame soundtrack

the assassin's creed valhalla videogame soundtrack

tagging: @ratheralark @holy--milk @carnivorous-horses-lover @sunriseverse @watertightvines @frodo-of-the-nine-fingers @confusion-and-more @occasionalinanity @varethinsilico @thepurplewombat @peacocksdance and anyone else who puts eyes on this thing and feels moved to complete it.

#tag memes #ray.txt #my original answers were so much funnier 😔 sigh

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loadedmarchpdf · 1 year

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Hello everyone, it's been a while. Recently I've returned to the Merlin fandom because I saw some gifset of them and The Feels, as we used to say back in the day (do we still say that now?), came back in a sudden and mad rush. I've been revisiting some old merthur fics (and also trying to find some new ones too) when I realised that I ought to have a fresh copy of dear old Loaded March extracted straight from AO3 itself and save them all, because you never know these days. And then while I was doing that, I realised that I couldn't find my compilation in my fic library! The very thing that I had spent much a time putting together, I do not know where it is?? And so I had to make my way back here to find the links where I had uploaded the compilations hahaha

Anyhow. I'm glad my uploads are still intact and that mediafire is still a functional site (you really never know these days). I hope I might be able to find the original and alarmingly big word document again some day... It's probably in some drive I hope...

I'm not sure if anyone still checks these tags or still follows this blog. If you see this then I think it's lovely that this has reached you again after so many years and I hope you are doing well!

P.S. As of today, the PDF has 1125 downloads while the EPUB has close to 800. Apparently in March 2018 they were at 332 and 225 respectively. It blows my mind that so many people checked them out. Thank you for the lovely support and I hope the compilations have been of service to you! ETA: Since I haven't been here a long while, I also decided to go and look at tags on the reblogs of the compilation post that I've missed... You are all so very lovely, thank you for the kind words :')

P.P.S. In case you are still wondering what I'm talking about: I had in the past made a compilation of all 16 parts (and I am now remembering, also one of the extras!) of Loaded March into a single document, available in both PDF and EPUB formats, which are both available for download :] It's the pinned post in my tumblr, or you can access it here.

#lm hive mind #loaded march #bbc merlin #also i suddenly remembered i was intensely shipping kay and will in it #but i think it was all very open to interpretation in the end wasn't it?? shakes fist at footloose #i think i need to reread loaded march again; it has been so many years #that word count though....#also does anyone know what Footloose has been up to these days (years) i suppose they are busy working on original stories?#i've also just learnt of the LM discord ooohhh

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clairedaring · 3 months

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tag game ✨

huge thank you to the lovely zey @thasorns for thinking of me. i love you too (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

1. why did you choose your url?

no one remembers her but claire dearing from jurassic world will always hold a special place in my heart.

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

poomphuripan - the bl sideblog that i started just because my main got deactivated for a bit but i guess for now, it's mostly uppoom and msi-focused. in december, it'll probably be torjj and spare me your mercy-focused. i think i'll probably just be using these for the ql series i have a crazy hyperfixation about.

huiyanan - a pentagon yanan/hui focus sideblog

coryjeacoma - my musical theatre sideblog for random audio bootlegs and sometimes musical gifs

ryuvachirawich - my unused (mostly lakorn) gifs blog for extra gifs i make but that doesn't make it into any main or sideblogs. at first i was trying to keep this sideblog lowkey but then i needed to tag the gifs w my gif tag anyway so i could search for them so disclosing is fine 🤣

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

2014... what do you mean it's been a decade since i started using tumblr.... time isn't real

4. do you have a queue tag?

i tried but i've given up on queue-ing in general so i don't. my tumblr is constantly in two modes: super active or going months without a single post lmaoooo.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i wanted to be where all the gifmakers are but i have too much interests so this shall remains a multi-fandom blog or more like a "whatever media claire is consuming atm" blog

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

dirk gently is the single most perfect holistic detective in existence. sometimes i'm too attached to my url and my icon, i don't think i can ever change them. headers i can but i haven't changed my url/icon for 3-4 years i think.

7. why did you choose your header?

i feel you linger in the air is THAT series for me. dethroned almost every other thai series on my all time fave list (i say almost because bad genius series is still holding its crown well)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

i just checked and apparently it's my first and only merlin gifset 😅

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i have no idea but i love all my mutuals （づ￣3￣）づ╭❤️～

10. how many followers do you have?

i hit 1k recently. crazy to me because i've left this tumblr empty for months before starting being active again last october???

11. how many people do you follow?

4000+ but that's only because i'm too lazy to unfollow people. so yea i rarely see things on my dash. i just end up scrolling through my fave gifmakers tags to find things they make.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

i don't think so????? i mean the closest is probably me saying super random things on this tag.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

it used to be once a week... but these days it's really a daily routine lmao. although i'm pretty sure i'll leave my tumblr dusting once my stand-in ends... who knows... we'll see...

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

how can i? i'm so non-confrontational, i reblog things in private to argue with op 😭 lmao (arguments that op will never see lmao, i'm saving them and me both the trouble really). just enfp things.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

huh why do i never get them on my dash (⊙x⊙;)

16. do you like tag games?

sometimes i forget but i love being tagged in them because i get to know about all the great mutuals i have on here, especially music tags because i always get incredible new music recommendations

17. do you like ask games?

apparently i had my asks closed without knowing for quite some time so i haven't received asks for so long. maybe one day i'll do them but i have bad records of answering asks so ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i'm not sure if being THE certified way apologist/way gifmaker qualifies her as tumblr famous but maybe sasa @zhouxiangs is the most famous mutual i have

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

let's call this mutuals whose editing skills i wanna steal (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

lana @sherrymagic whenever you see me reblogging lana's joe sets every week, you'll see me gushing about the consistency in her coloring and that's because that's something i'm obsessed with, especially considering my stand-in's grim/dark cinematographic coloring. also i don't know how lana chooses the perfect lines from each eps to do her recap sets because most of the times i can't even choose between which scenes to gif.

eva @alienwlw eva makes the most beautiful lyrics set and is willing to do my most niche requests and i'm always looking forward to seeing her gifs because it's always so warm and grainy and crisp and i'm just like wahhhh *heart eyes emoji* every time

20. tags?

no pressure tagging anyone today ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪

#you've got tagged

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whatstruthgottodowithit · 1 year

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Here You Come Again [Part Eight]

Fandom: Elvis Presley, RPF, American Actor

Pairing: Elvis Presley x Original Female Character

Characters: Elvis Presley, Addison Goodwin, Original Female Characters, Priscilla Presley, Colonel Tom Parker, Vernon Presley, Gladys Presley, Minnie Mae Presley, Marci Cunningham, Jerry Schilling, Red West, Sonny West, Marty Lacker, Joe Esposito, Charlie Hodge, Lamar Fike, Alan Fortas, George Klein, Memphis Mafia

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 9107

Summary: When Addison Goodwin was seventeen years old her life was turned inside out after a chance encounter with her past. Now, fifteen years later her life is the best it’s ever been. She has a home, a good job and a daughter she loves more than anything in the world but will all that remain when an old familiar face rolls into town.

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Graceland, Las Vegas, The International Hotel, Elvis In Vegas, 1970s, 1970s Elvis, Friends To Lovers, Rekindled Romance, Parenting, Time Line is Sketchy, Guilt, Betrayal, Teenage Pregnancy, Hawaii, Hidden Pregnancy, Jealousy, Sex, Absence of Parent, Single Motherhood, Trauma, Oral Sex, Tension

Notes: Why does tumblr just decide to make stuff shitter every so often. Cba.

LINK TO ALL PARTS // LINK TO AO3 // LINK TO PINTEREST

Elvis was riding on a high. There had been something about tonight that was different though he couldn’t put his finger on just what it was. Maybe it was the fact the crowd had been particularly receptive tonight given that many of them had just rolled into Vegas for the weekend and were still buzzing off the anticipation of getting up to something they shouldn’t. Maybe it was because he wasn’t as tired as normal since he had managed to negotiate to do only one show a night – even if it was only for the duration of Lisa being in town. He didn’t think it was that though. No, he figured it was because he had been able to spend time with both of his daughters for almost the entire evening, Just the three of them. He had gotten to see them interact and from the looks of things they actually seemed to be getting along, especially since Jess had sided with Lisa when she had informed her father that he was colouring in wrong [something he didn’t know was possible but from the stern look on his five-year-olds face apparently it was]. But above all, he got to enjoy just being a dad, not even a dad just a person, without someone needing something from him other than time and love. That was why he was riding on a high.

However that high meant that he wasn’t ready for bed quite yet. He was wired and so instead of heading back to his bedroom suite, he headed to the main one hoping he could check on both of his girls. When he got inside though he found it wasn’t dark as he expected as lamps were still lit throughout the suite. That was when he noticed Jess standing in the middle of the living room though she whipped around when she heard him enter.

‘Hey, what are you still doing up?’ he said coming towards her but as he noted the unnerved look on her face it triggered panic inside him, ‘what’s going on?’

‘She’s been throwing up,’ Jess said looking back towards the couch where Elvis could now see Lisa. She was laying on her side clutching her stomach and though her eyes had been closed they opened at the sound of his voice, her own coming out whiny and melancholic.

‘I don’t feel good,’ she groaned as she squeezed her arms around her stomach tighter.

‘Since when?’ Elvis asked moving towards her though his gaze remained on Jess.

‘About an hour,’ she said biting her lip. He perched himself on the coffee table, placing the back of his hand on his daughter’s forehead which felt clammy but fortunately not too warm.

‘Why didn’t you call downstairs?’ Elvis asked sternly, ‘I would’ve come straight up.’

‘I-I-I was going to, but I couldn’t find the sheet you gave me and Jerry had already gone downstairs to sort something out and I couldn’t remember where he’d gone and she just came into my room and puked all over the floor so I panicked,’ Jess waffled.

‘My tummy hurts,’ Lisa groaned looking at her dad and forcing him to take his eyes off Jess for a moment.

‘I know honey. It’s okay,’ he soothed stroking her cheek.

‘I’m sorry I just didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want to leave her on her own,’ Jess said feeling her voice getting thick with tears. On seeing her start to well up Elvis felt guilt course through him and he reached a hand out to hold hers gently for a moment, ‘it’s okay. Don’t worry about it, I’m here now, okay?’

‘I just panicked,’ Jess said quietly.

‘I know,’ he said, ‘it’s okay.’

‘Elvis my tummy hurts,’ Lisa groaned making Elvis offer Jess one more reassuring look before he turned his attention back to his youngest.

‘I know sweetie but we’re gonna get you fixed up, okay?’ he said earning a nod from Lisa though her face remained pouty.

‘Actually, she’s already being fixed,’ Jess said nervously making her father look up at her confused. A confusion that only grew as Addison appeared behind her daughter looking between them as if she was missing something.

‘Everything okay?’ she asked looking from Elvis to her daughter who now looked more shaken than the moment she’d arrived and given that Addison had walked in and found her looking horrified as she held Lisa’s hair out of the way whilst she puked into a trash can that was some feat.

‘What are you doing here?’ Elvis asked a little more accusatorily than he had intended as he stood up.

‘Jess called,’ Addison said simply, seeming not to take offence at his tone as she moved past him so she could get to Lisa whom she placed a cold cloth on the head of before she offered her a glass of pale liquid with a gentle, ‘here you go sweetie.’

‘Thank you,’ Lisa said, those southern manners shining through in her weakened state.

‘Jess called you at midnight and you just drove all the way down here?’ Elvis said, accusation lacing his words again.

‘It sounded urgent,’ Addison shrugged.

‘She could’ve come and got me y’know,’ Elvis said defensively. He didn’t know why he was being like this. He knew Addison was only trying to help but the entire situation was getting him on edge. After all, things had been going so well with Jess and yet she hadn’t even given him a thought before she’d dialled in reinforcements.

‘I know,’ Addison said firmly and before he could respond and be any more obstructive, she took a seat on the coffee table and leaned in towards Lisa, ‘how’s that sweetie?’

‘Good,’ Lisa said through laboured breaths as she tried to gulp as much of the drink she had been given down her throat like she had been stranded in the desert for days.

‘Well, that should help,’ Addison said taking the cup from her as she lay back down. When she looked up she found Elvis watching her closely.

‘Would you stop looking at me like that I said it’s fine,’ she sighed, ‘don’t worry about it.’

‘It’s just… you should’ve come and got me,’ Elvis said looking at Jess.

‘I just thought Mom would know what to do. She’s a nurse after all,’ Jess said and at her words Elvis softened. When he thought about it like that he could see her point of view. After all, she was just a kid. Her brain had probably gone into overdrive and she had dialled the only number she could think of. All in all, she’d been looking out for her sister.

‘I forgot about that,’ Elvis admitted, ‘I guess it makes sense when you put it like that.’

‘No harm done,’ Addison said earning a nod from him. As Lisa stirred from the relaxed state she’d been in, her blue eyes watching them all gathered around her, Elvis sat down on the coffee table next to Addison and placed his hand over his daughter’s.

‘Are you feeling any better honey?’ he asked making her big blue eyes find his as she offered a weak nod.

‘A little bit,’ she said.

‘That’s good,’ Elvis said looking at Addison, ‘so what’s the diagnosis?’

‘Well, the good news is I think she’s gonna be fine,’ she said.

‘Yeah?’ Elvis asked.

‘Yeah, she doesn’t have a temperature and her abdomens soft so I don’t think it’s anything too serious,’ Addison said.

‘Are you sure?’ Elvis asked though he trusted Addison completely the image of his little girl laying in front of them looking troubled made his heart hurt, ‘maybe we should get her checked out.’

‘Jess, what did you have for dinner?’ Addison asked looking towards her daughter. The question came out of the left field for both Elvis and Jess but nevertheless Jess, who had been standing there still feeling anxious, answered.

‘Pizza and ice cream,’ she said.

‘And then you guys watched a movie?’ Addison questioned. Though he had no idea where she was going he figured the way she was making his brain do gymnastics as he tried to figure out her point was only punishment for his less-than-inviting attitude.

‘Yeah,’ Jess said not managing to connect the dots.

‘Where you had popcorn?’ Addison asked.

‘Yeah and M&Ms and Lisa had some Twizzlers-’

‘See where I’m going with this?’ Addison asked raising an eyebrow. Elvis seemed to contemplate it for a moment before the points clicked into place.

‘Oh,’ he said, ‘yeah I guess you might be right.’

‘I know sugar-induced puke when I see it,’ Addison said.

‘You saw her puke?’ Elvis asked.

‘Who do you think cleaned it up?’ Addison asked. Again, guilt flooded through him but this time it felt more than just guilt. It felt like an embarrassment, like he needed her to clean up his messes literally and figuratively. She had trusted him to take care of his daughters and he had barely lasted the night without needing help.

‘You didn’t have to do that,’ he said feeling the defensiveness from before creep back in.

‘Eh,’ she shrugged, ‘it’s not a big deal.’

‘Still,’ he said not sure what he was trying to prove.

‘Anyway,’ she said ignoring him, ‘I think the best course of action is probably rest.’

‘Yeah, you're probably right,’ Elvis said.

‘For you too lady,’ she said standing up and placing a hand on Jess’ face in an attempt to reassure her though she still looked torn at the thought of being sent away. She knew if it was just her dad here she’d be allowed to stay up but she knew better than to argue with her mom and so she nodded.

‘Okay,’ she said, ‘I hope you feel better in the morning Lisa.’

‘Me too,’ Lisa mumbled though her eyes didn’t open as she continued to lay on the couch.

‘Night,’ she said receiving ‘Goodnights’ from both of them in response.

Once she was out of the room Addison took a seat on the couch beside the one Lisa was on whilst Elvis sat next to his daughter, placing her head on his lap as he stroked her hair gently. She disturbed a little as he moved her but the pain seemed to be ebbing minute by minute which meant that by the time she was lying on him properly her breathing had already changed signalling she may have been falling asleep. Elvis watched her closely for a moment and Addison watched him. She knew that by coming here she had hit a nerve but in the moment she hadn't been thinking of anything other than Jess. She realised it could’ve been construed as interfering, but she hoped he would see that it wasn’t the fact that she thought he couldn’t do it alone, it was the fact that Jess was just so used to her doing it she hadn’t thought past that. For a moment she didn’t speak, she knew him well enough to know that he’d tell her sooner or later and when he pulled his gaze away from Lisa’s peaceful form and clocked her looking at him he did.

‘You really didn’t have to go to all this trouble you know,’ he murmured his fingers till playing with Lisa’s golden locks.

‘I know,’ Addison said.

‘And I didn’t leave them alone. Jer was just next door and I told her to come and get one of us if she needed anything. I gave her a full list of phone numbers, I left it right by the phone,’ he said quickly as if he needed to explain.

‘I know I found it in the same place you left it,’ Addison said making him look at her.

‘If she had it why didn’t she-’ Elvis started to question but Addison cut him off.

‘I think she just panicked. You know what it’s like when you’re panicking your mind just goes blank and she didn’t want to leave Lisa on her own, so she called me.’

‘I guess every kids first instinct is to call their mom,’ Elvis said. His irritation was ebbing, the initial worry that Jess hadn’t thought he couldn’t handle it fading the more Addison spoke. The guilt however didn’t seem to be lifting even more so as Addison replied.

‘Well if it was mine the phone would be ringing for a long damn time,’ Addison said. He expected bitterness to be behind her words but there was nothing. In fact, the joke didn’t even seem sarcastic but genuine as he noticed a smirk on her lips. It made him sad to see how unattached she was but then the memory of her heartbroken face the night Mona had left flashed through his mind and he realised maybe this way was better.

‘That’s probably why you’re such a good mom,’ Elvis said making her look at him, ‘because of Mona I mean.’

‘Oh, I guess,’ she said suddenly feeling uncomfortable though she didn’t know if it was at the compliment or because even though she had spoken of her mother it had been a long time since it had been to anyone who actually knew her.

‘I mean it,’ Elvis said doubling down. He was starting to feel bad about the way he had acted and though he knew she never did well with compliments he couldn’t help but say the words he hoped she already knew, ‘you’re like the exact opposite of her. Jess couldn’t have a better mom…in fact, I’m glad you’re here. I mean I know I said I could’ve handled it but I’m not sure that’s true.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Addison scoffed. If the compliments had made her uncomfortable the fact he was putting himself down was just as upsetting.

‘Well Cilla usually takes care of this stuff or the nanny,’ he said smirking as Addison tried to hide a smile before he shrugged, ‘I don’t really know what I’m doing. Hell I can’t even get her to stop calling me Elvis.’

‘Well to be fair to her that is your name,’ she smiled though as his mood didn’t brighten she sighed, ‘don’t beat yourself up about it. None of us do.’

‘You look pretty sure of yourself to me,’ he said. Addison sighed.

‘I’ve had more practice that’s why,’ she said quietly. He knew it wasn’t a dig but something about it made his heart twinge, ‘you think I had any idea what I was doing when she was Lisa’s age? You think I knew what to do with a sick kid? Of course not but it happens once and you get used to it. And then the next time it happens you know what to do. It’s not about being a better parent it’s just about being prepared.’

‘Yeah, I guess,’ Elvis said though that guilty feeling was still niggling inside him. Seeing he was still lost in his head Addison sighed and shuffled forward placing her hand on his knee. He smiled at her and she offered one back before pulling back and taking her hand away.

‘You know one time when Jess was little,’ she started immediately piquing Elvis’ interest, ‘like really little she grabbed something off my plate when I wasn’t looking and ate it. I don’t even remember what it was she just threw it in her mouth and it immediately got stuck and she started choking, and I mean like going blue in the face choking. I had no idea what to do. I was on my own and I was just panicking then I remembered you’re supposed to slap their back, so I did. I hit her so hard it came flying out of her mouth, practically flew across the room, and then I felt awful because I’d hurt her. Not only that but she didn’t have a clue what was going on so all she could do was cry and cry and cry and I just felt like the worst mom in the world. I just picked her up and we sobbed on the kitchen floor for hours.’

‘You saved her life,’ Elvis said watching the memory dance across her face. She offered him a weak smile.

‘I know but I still felt terrible. Like I should’ve just known what to do without hurting her, like I should’ve just been able to dive into action without any thought and no consequences…but that’s not realistic. I mean I still feel guilty about it now and Jess doesn’t even remember the damn thing… but the next time she tried to grab something off my plate you better believe I knocked it out of her hand before she could even get that pudgy little fist in her mouth,’ she said with a small smile. Elvis sighed.

‘So I shouldn’t feel guilty huh?’ he asked raising an eyebrow.

‘Do you think she’s going to remember what happened tonight or who brought her some ginger ale? No, she’s going to remember that her dad was there and stroked her hair whilst she didn’t feel well,’ she said. As she spoke Lisa stirred in his lap, her tiny hand resting on his thigh as she moved. It made his heart flutter with love.

‘I think you might be right,’ he said with a smile.

‘Always am,’ Addison smiled.

They watched her for a minute but then she started to stir more as if she was threatening to wake up any moment.

‘Maybe I should move her to bed,’ Elvis said.

‘Yeah, she might be more comfortable there,’ Addison said. As Elvis contemplated how he was going to move Addison took the cold compress that was still on her forehead off and placed it on the coffee table. Then Elvis lifted his daughter up and slipped out from underneath her before he scooped her up onto his hip, her head resting on his shoulder, all in one fell swoop. When he turned Addison was still watching him trying to ignore the flurry in her chest as she watched him move the hair out of Lisa’s eyes as she slept soundly against him. She couldn’t believe he’d ever doubt how good of a dad he was. She knew from watching him with Jess that there was no doubt he was a good dad yet it was different with Jess because she didn’t need him in the same way Lisa did and watching him fuss over the little girl in his arms made her realise just how much he was made for it. It was lovely to watch but also heart-wrenching. If only things had been different this could’ve been their life.

‘I’ll be back in a minute, okay?’ he asked snapping her from her thoughts.

‘Sure,’ she said offering him a small smile. He looked like he wanted to say something but he wasn’t sure that he should. It made the flurry inside Addison amp up as she anticipated whatever it was.

‘Do you wanna stay for a while?’ he asked. It wasn’t quite a plea but both of them could hear just how much he wanted her to say yes.

‘Yeah,’ Addison said, ‘I’d like that.’

✵✵✵

When Addison awoke the next morning it took her a moment to adjust but as she took in the ornate mouldings above her and the brightness streaming in from the window she had neglected to close the curtains of it all came rushing back. Aside from cleaning up vomit and trying to keep everyone calm last night had been nice. After Jess had gone to bed and Elvis had carried Lisa back to her room the pair of them had stayed up and watched television though she doubted either of them could even say what had been playing since they had spent most of the night just talking. If anything she hadn’t realised just how much she had missed Elvis. Throughout this whole thing she had been getting used to seeing him as a dad, as this new man she needed to get to know but last night had shown her that even after so many years he was still that same boy she had known when she was three years old. But last night was catching up on her now and she could barely fight to keep herself from flopping back down and catching a few more minutes of sleep. Unfortunately, her longing for rest wasn’t fulfilled as she heard the door open and found Jess coming inside.

‘Oh good you’re finally up,’ Jess said.

‘Morning,’ Addison said with a yawn.

‘Actually, it’s afternoon,’ Jess said.

‘What?’ Addison said pushing herself up and looking at the small clock on her bedside table which informed her Jess was in fact right, it was 12:46 pm.

‘Jeez,’ she said.

‘Late night?’ Jess asked with a smirk.

‘We all had a late night,’ Addison said.

‘Yeah, but me and Lisa have been up since ten,’ Jess reasoned as she sat down cross-legged on the end of her mother’s bed, ‘can’t say the same for you and Dad though.’

‘We were just talking,’ Addison said stiffly though she didn’t know why she felt the need to defend herself.

‘Oh I know,’ Jess said, ‘I could hear you guys still up when I went to the bathroom. That’s why I let you both sleep.’

‘Well that’s very kind of you,’ Addison said wryly, ‘but I think I should be getting up don’t you?’

She went to push the covers back but stopped as she realised that she was only in her underwear. Instead of climbing out of bed she shuffled to the edge of it, keeping herself blocked from Jess as much as possible she looked for the pile of clothes she had been wearing before she’d climbed into bed. She had been tired when Elvis had walked her to the room she would be staying in and the last thing on her mind was scouting out where to get some clothes to sleep in.

‘Nice outfit,’ Jess said as her mother grabbed her jeans off the floor and started to throw them on.

‘Yeah, well I didn’t think of packing a bag when I ran out the house to come and help did I?’ Addison said as she shirked on her pants, leaning back to button them.

‘You could borrow some of the stuff Patsy brought me,’ Jess said.

‘Honey I might have your figure in my head but reality is a little different,’ Addison said as she pulled her shirt over her head pulling the hair that had got caught under the collar out as she did, ‘it’s fine. I’ll just go home and change.’

‘I don’t think you’ll have time,’ Jess said.

‘Why not?’ Addison asked.

‘We’re going out and dad asked if you’d come and well, I said you would,’ Jess said, ‘that’s why I came to wake you up.’

‘Well can’t we just swing by the house?’ Addison asked.

‘I don’t think so…I didn’t realise you didn’t have stuff…I didn’t think you’d mind,’ Jess said shifting awkwardly. Addison sighed.

‘I don’t. It’s fine,’ she said. Jess offered an apologetic smile which she rolled her eyes at, ‘c’mon, let’s not have everyone waiting.’

‘We’re only waiting on you,’ Jess smirked as she clambered off the bed and headed out the door. Addison followed whatever retort she was going to offer stemmed as she yawned.

‘Hey sleepyhead,’ Elvis said as they entered the dining room. He was sitting at the head of the table with Lisa at his side standing on the chair beside him as she draped her body over the table and slapped another card down on the pile for whatever game they were playing.

‘Hi,’ Addison said standing behind one of the chairs, ‘someones feeling better I see.’

‘Oh yeah much better right buttonhead?’ he said looking at Lisa who glanced at him and then looked at Addison.

‘Much better,’ she smiled, ‘Elvis is taking us to the zoo.’

‘Is that right?’ Addison said looking at Elvis, ‘taking it easy I see.’

‘Eh, she’s feeling better and it’s her last day in town,’ Elvis said. He kept his tone even but Addison could see the sadness behind his eyes before he dropped his gaze to look at his cards as Lisa tugged on his sleeve, evidently not happy with how he had slowed their game for a conversation. Once he had placed his card down he looked back at them, ‘you guys are comin’ right? Daddy’s comin’ and some of the boys I thought we could make a day of it.’

‘Have I got time to go home and change?’ Addison asked making Elvis glance down to find she was still in the same clothes as yesterday. He knew it didn’t mean anything, no one would even know they were yesterday’s clothes, but the idea of knowing that she was wearing that because she’d not wanted to go home made him want to smile.

‘Not really,’ he said checking his watch and gesturing for Lisa to put her cards down, ‘we’ll be leaving in a minute.’

‘I can be super quick,’ Addison said.

‘It’s quite a drive and in the opposite direction of your place,’ he said making her sigh. Seeing the topic could be up for discussion Elvis looked at Jess and said, ‘would you mind helping Lisa find her shoes so we can get going?’

‘Sure,’ Jess said gesturing for Lisa to follow her which she did, jumping off her chair and running to her sister’s side as they headed down the hall to her room.

‘I really won’t take that long,’ Addison said as he climbed out of his seat, resting against one of the chairs as he stood next to her.

‘I know but I’ve kinda got everything lined up what with it being her last day here and everything. I don’t wanna miss any of it,’ he said. At that Addison wavered. Sure it wasn’t ideal but she could manage for one day. Elvis however had an idea, ‘why don’t I just buy you something new? There’s a lil boutique around the corner-’

‘It’s fine,’ Addison said waving him off, ‘I’ll just wear this.’

‘It’s not a big deal,’ Elvis reasoned as he stood up properly, ‘better than yesterday’s clothes.’

‘Either you take me home and I get a fresh pair of clothes or we go as is,’ she said.

‘You’re gonna walk around all day in day-old clothes?’

‘What am I gonna embarrass you?’ she challenged.

‘I just don’t see why you can’t just have something new. It’s gotta be more comfortable,’ he said.

‘You’re not buying me new stuff not when I don’t need it,’ she said making Elvis sigh. He should’ve known she would never have relented to that one. He leaned in towards her eyeing her in a way that made her stomach flutter with butterflies that only worsened as he leaned down and said, ‘you’re infuriating you know that?’

‘And you like showing off,’ she countered trying to ignore the fact she could feel the heat coming off his body he was so close. She watched as his lip curled up in a smirk.

‘Hey you’ll relent one day,’ he said.

‘Doubt it,’ she challenged folding her arms across her chest.

‘Wanna bet?’ he asked.

‘You’re on,’ she smirked. Elvis watched her for a moment, trying to ignore the fire in his belly as she met him toe to toe, but it was broken as they heard Jess call for Addison’s help. She offered him one last smug smile and then toddled off to find out what the problem was. As Elvis watched her walk away an idea bubbled in his brain. He was going to win this little wager fair and square, he just needed to make a couple calls first.

✵✵✵

Elvis had been right about the drive and by the time they got to the zoo it was mid-afternoon. Lisa chattered nonstop in the car on the way over and though Jess was less eager about a day out to the zoo she couldn’t help but feel a little excited too though she wasn’t sure if that was because this would be the first time they’d managed to do something outside of the hotel or their house or because of the smile on both her parents faces as they interacted with one another.

It was nice to see her mom this way, happy. It wasn’t that she was always sad or anything it was just that Jess had always felt that so much of her life had been left behind the moment she had her. Her mother had always assured her that she was never a burden and that she wouldn’t choose a life without her but there were times she wondered what could’ve been. Especially when she watched her dad tell a joke that made her mom snort a laugh or how she watched him with Lisa, an adoring look on her face. She was glad her mom was her mom but seeing her like this reminded her that she was a woman too.

Jess was only pulled out of her thoughts when they arrived at their destination. The zoo wasn’t a big one but this had been intentional as Elvis had picked one a little further out of town that was less likely to be populated so that when he requested for the owner to let them have the run of the place their loss of business wasn’t too bad. Of course there were caveats to them getting the whole place though that mostly included him having his picture taken with nearly every member of staff but eventually they managed to make their way into the park to see some animals. Lisa bolted straight for the first exhibit, lugging Jess and Vernon along by the hand, whilst their tour guide attempted to keep up. And seeing that they weren’t needed for much protection the boys walked ahead taking advantage of the fact the group was doing something that involved being outside in the winter sunshine instead of being locked away in a hotel or casino.

Elvis and Addison however stayed behind the group. They made conversation here and there but both of them found that there wasn’t a need to say much, if anything they were just enjoying one another’s company. They walked around for a while, grabbing a bite to eat halfway through until eventually, they got to the tiger enclosure.

‘He’s a big un isn’t he,’ Elvis said. Jess was standing next to him but he had Lisa in his arms so that she could see, hoisting her up so that she could lean against the enclosure wall.

‘He’s really big,’ Lisa said.

‘Let’s just hope he ain’t hungry huh?’ Elvis said shaking her a little as though he was going to toss her over the barrier making her shriek with laughter.

‘Actually, he probably is,’ the tour guide said pointing to a sign in front of them that said, ‘FEEDING TIME 4 PM’.

‘Are you going to feed him now?’ Lisa asked excitedly.

‘Well actually we do offer guests to feed him, on occasion,’ she said looking at Elvis which seemed to trigger an idea in his youngest daughter’s mind.

‘Elvis, you should do it!’ Lisa said looking at Elvis who chuckled.

‘Aw hell no,’ he chuckled.

‘Oh go on,’ Jess giggled earning herself a scowl.

‘Please!’ Lisa begged.

‘Have you seen that thing?’ he said as the girls watched him expectantly.

‘Not scared are you?’ Addison teased from Jess’ other side.

‘Hey I lose a hand my instrument playin’ days are over,’ Elvis reasoned.

‘It’d be fine, I could be your new guitar player,’ Jess giggled. Elvis looked as all three girls watched him expectantly. He had no desire to step into an enclosure with anything but the way they all watched him expectantly he could feel his resolve crumbling.

‘Y’all aren’t gonna let it go huh?’ he asked.

‘Well, we could ask one of the boys, right girls?’ Addison said turning around and finding the boys standing close by watching amusedly as their friend squirmed under the pressure, ‘you’d do it right Son?’

‘Oh sure,’ Sonny chuckled, ‘you know me. Ain’t afraid of anything.’

‘Yeah, except pickin’ up a check,’ Elvis grumbled though Sonny merely rolled his eyes at the dig, ‘aw hell alright.’

‘Yay!’ Lisa said kissing him on the cheek.

‘If you’d like to follow me sir,’ the guide said gesturing for Elvis to follow her towards a doorway which led to the back of the enclosure. He looked hesitant but after a moment he lifted Lisa forward so that Jerry could hold her so she’d still be able to see.

As he followed the young girl into the back of the enclosure, disappearing out of sight, Jerry moved to stand next to Addison whilst the boys moved so that they were standing along the wall.

‘You know he’s gonna be insufferable after this right?’ Jerry chuckled as Lisa turned to her grandfather and started chattering away to him.

‘He could’ve said no,’ she reasoned.

‘When has he ever told you no,’ Jerry said before his attention was caught as Elvis appeared on the other side of the circular enclosure climbing up onto a large platform at the back. He had a couple of keepers with him now, both hauling a heavy box between them, and the crowd watched as the tiger who had been lounging in the grass allowing them to watch him sleep, stood up suddenly realising it was time to be fed.

Addison watched on nervously, though her nerves weren’t really to do with the scene in front of them. It was Jerry’s words. The group laughed and jeered whilst Elvis was talked through the process and eventually tossed a hunk of meat on a string down for the large cat yet she barely even registered it.

‘When has he ever told you no,’ the thought echoed in her mind. It had been true when they had been dating, even in the months leading up to it, he had always caved but that was because he had been in love with her. It wasn’t like that now, right? No, she reasoned with herself. Elvis wasn’t in love with her and this stunt wasn’t for her benefit. He had done it for the girls. Yet as she watched him the idea swirled in the back of her brain. It was an idea she forced out of her mind. She couldn’t think that way. This wasn’t about them, this was about Jess, nothing more.

She was pulled out of her thoughts as Jerry nudged her gesturing for her to follow the rest of the group that was heading down towards the enclosure entrance to wait for Elvis to emerge. Addison stayed back as he came out immediately congratulated by both the girls and though he had grumbled once he saw how excited they were about it she couldn’t help but notice the smile on his face.

‘Well done man,’ Red said as the group started to meander towards the next exhibit.

‘Yeah well done son,’ Vernon said.

‘Did you see how he tore that thing apart?’ Sonny whistled, ‘pretty impressive.’

‘Near pulled me off that damn platform,’ Elvis said as Lisa slipped her hand into his and Jess came to his other side as they walked.

‘Were you scared?’ Jess asked.

‘Naw,’ Elvis said making Addison smirk though she knew he couldn’t see her, ‘I mean I don’t think the zoo’s reputation could handle being the place that killed Elvis Presley so I think I woulda been okay.’

‘Will you wear your tiger costume on stage tonight?’ Lisa asked looking up at him from his side, her hand clasped tightly in his.

‘Do you want me to?’ he asked making her nod, ‘well alright then.’

‘Are you gonna tell this story on stage tonight?’ Red chuckled as he turned to look at them, walking backwards as he did so, ‘cos I think I can already hear the girls hollerin’ about it now.’

‘Oh yeah better bring earplugs,’ Sonny chuckled.

‘What can I say I’m just an impressive guy,’ Elvis smirked.

‘Oh yeah, you think?’ Sonny said as Addison slotted in between him and Jess, ‘what do you think Addie, ladies' perspective?’

‘I prefer lion tamers myself,’ she joked making Elvis roll his eyes.

‘Not your type huh?’ he said though as he looked at her he could’ve sworn there was a flicker of something behind her eyes that moved too quickly for him to catch. Before she could say thing else though Lisa said, ‘look penguins!’ and then scarpered towards the round glass tank a little further up.

Yet as everyone followed her towards the tank which was now being occupied by several keepers who were chucking bucket loads of fish into the water Addison wandered away from the group and took a seat on a nearby bench. No one seemed to notice she was gone, well not until Elvis looked back to find her nowhere close. Since the group was distracted he moved away and came to sit beside her, earning himself a small smile.

‘You alright?’ he asked. She nodded. Even though Jerry’s comment had put her in her head a little bit she brushed it aside as much as she could. She didn’t want to think about things like that, not today, and so as Elvis watched her she decided not to dwell on it and instead just be in the moment.

‘Are you okay?’ she asked raising an eyebrow. Elvis hiccupped a laugh and flopped back on the bench, his arm going behind where she was sitting.

‘Don’t know how I didn’t crap my pants but sure,’ he chuckled.

‘Well, the girls loved it,’ she said.

‘And you?’ he said making her roll her eyes, ‘hey now it was your teasin’ that got me in there. C’mon honest answer.’

‘You were very brave,’ she said sarcastically, a smile playing on her lips.

‘See was that so hard to do,’ he chuckled.

‘And at least you have a story for your show tonight,’ Addison said resting back against the bench.

‘Yeah, that’s true,’ he said.

‘And the girls did love it,’ she reiterated.

‘Yeah and now look. I’ve been replaced by some penguins,’ he chuckled.

‘Oh you should’ve heard them,’ Addison said, though she had been lost in her thoughts she hadn’t missed the giddy chatter Lisa had with Vernon or the awestruck way Jess had spoken to Red as they watched.

‘Yeah?’ he said earning a nod, ‘well it's good to know I’m not an embarrassing dad just yet.

‘You’re kidding, right? Those girls idolise everything you do,’ Addison said truthfully, ‘I’m glad actually. I think this is the first fun thing Jess has done in months.’

‘What do you mean?’ Elvis said sitting up which meant he was closer than before not that either of them seemed to care.

‘I’ve just been busy recently. Work’s been hectic and I just feel like she’s been on her own a lot,’ Addison said, she didn’t know why this was all spilling out of her now. After all, airing her insecurities in the middle of a zoo probably wasn’t the best place to do it but as Elvis watched her she felt that familiar tug from within. Like they weren’t at the zoo but holed away in his bedroom or driving around Memphis in his car like they used to. Like she was seventeen again.

‘I guess I’ve been feeling a little bad about it. I can’t even remember the last time we did something like this,’ she said genuinely trying to wrack her brain for the answer.

‘That doesn’t make you a bad mom,’ Elvis said.

‘I know,’ she said, ‘I just feel bad y’know? I guess it’s been since Marci left, Jess always had someone other than me…we’re just getting used to her not being here.’

At hearing Marci’s name Elvis’ mind whirred once more. He’d gotten some answers from Jess but there had been something burning inside him that he wanted to ask. A question he hadn’t dared broach just yet. Addison seemed to sense his curiosity as she said, ‘what?’

‘I guess I’ve been meaning to ask,’ he said tentatively.

‘About what?’ she asked.

‘Jess said you and Marci used to live together,’ he said.

‘Yeah?’ she asked not understanding where his thought process was going.

‘So…she knew? About Jess,’ he said.

‘Oh,’ Addison said quietly, ‘um, yeah.’

‘Did Jer?’ he asked, the worry that had been swirling around in his brain finally coming out. It had been bothering him from the start. His question seemed to startle her but she recovered quickly.

‘Of course not,’ she replied placing a hand on his thigh when she saw how worried he looked. It soothed him but not as much as her words did. It didn’t erase the fact people had betrayed him but knowing Jerry wasn’t one of them was something, ‘in fact I don’t even think he knows I was the reason they split up.’

‘What happened?’ he said curiously.

‘Well, she came and found me,’ she replied.

‘I meant all of it,’ he said making her brow furrow as he tried to explain, ‘what happened…after you left.’

‘Elvis,’ she said quietly. Again she felt that familiar tug but speaking about Marci was one thing. Telling him about all the other stuff was another.

‘You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,’ he said his baby blue eyes watching her hazel ones closely, ‘but I wanna know. All of it.’

‘Okay,’ she said with a sigh. He could tell she was gearing herself up to speak of it and he settled in hoping that if he just listened she’d humour him, ‘well you know that the Colonel shipped me off, right?’

‘Yeah,’ Elvis said trying to keep the bitterness inside him from his tone.

‘Well, I didn’t know what I was gonna do. I knew I couldn’t come back but being totally separated was hard, y’know? So, I kept in contact with Mar,’ she said.

‘Did she know? About the Colonel?’ he asked.

‘No,’ she said dropping her gaze to her lap, ‘I mean I didn’t really know how to tell her and I knew if I did she’d try and convince me to come back and I couldn’t do that…so I just kept it vague. We planned to go to college and how you’d be home in a couple of years…and then I found out I was pregnant and they moved me to a mother and baby home.’

‘What’s that?’ Elvis said though something in his gut told him he already knew. He hoped from the way she breezed past it meant that it wasn’t as bad as he feared.

‘A way for the school to keep its reputation essentially. You get moved over there, out of the way, with the idea that they’ll help you. And at first, I believed them. They made it seem like even having Jess that young I’d still be able to go to college like we planned but the longer I was there the more I realised they were pushing me to stay in school because they wanted me to give Jess up, probably even had a set of parents lined up,’ she said bitterly as she looked back at him, ‘once I realised that I took off, got on a bus and got off at the last stop. I ended up in the middle of nowhere…somewhere in Texas. Found a little motel and got a job cleaning for them, they even let me stay there.’

‘And Mar?’ he asked his heart aching at the ordeal of it all. He couldn’t imagine going through all of that – unable to tell anyone.

‘We kept in contact, but it was hard. She kept asking about colleges and why I hadn’t come home after the semester ended and I didn’t know what to tell her so I stopped answering her calls,’ she admitted, ‘which was dumb I know but at that point I knew there was no going back to Memphis and the more she talked the more it hurt.’

‘What happened?’

‘Your mom died,’ she admitted, ‘after that she knew something was wrong. She knew I would’ve been there…so she hauled ass to Texas.’

‘Sssh,’ Addison cooed as the baby continued to cry against her shoulder which was making tears form in her own eyes, ‘come on Jessie…just go to sleep okay? Mama really needs you to go to sleep.’

It was an empty plea; one Addison hoped her daughter would hear though as the continued to empty her lungs of every scrap of air inside them it didn’t seem to be working. Four days. Jess was only four days old and in that time Addison’s world had started to crumble. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy but if she was being honest with herself she had only been focused on the giving birth part. The rest of it hadn’t occurred to her.

She hadn’t anticipated the fact that even though she was still dog tired from labour she wouldn’t be afforded the luxury of sleep. She didn’t realise that whilst she held her daughter to her tender breast once again she would find that she had no food in the house to feed herself seeing as she had not been able to get to a grocery store at any point. She didn’t know that she would offer everything she could think of to this tiny human being and it still wouldn’t be enough or that she wouldn’t know how or what to do to fix it. And above all she hadn’t anticipated just how much her daughter would look like her father. How those tiny blue eyes sparkled like his even if they were filled with tears.

‘Come on Jessie, please,’ she said feeling her own sobs coming, ‘for Mama?’

As Jess continued to fuss Addison patted her back which suddenly expelled a modicum of spittle onto the shoulder of Addison’s only clean shirt. It wasn’t ideal but as soon as it was out of her she started to soothe making Addison heave a sigh of relief as she rubbed her baby’s back. Eventually she felt her start to doze off and she placed her into the Moses basket.

The other thing Addison hadn’t anticipated was just how much she would love her. Even with all the screaming, crying and pooping thrown in. As she fell into a sound sleep Addison grabbed a cloth off the dresser and wiped the small amount of baby vomit off her shoulder before she tossed it in the general direction of the laundry basket and collapsed onto her bed, feeling her own sleep coming.

She had barely closed her eyes before there was a knock on the door and though she was startled she leapt up to open it determined not to have the noise disturb her now soundly asleep new-born. Though as she wrenched the door open though she got quite a surprise. Standing in front of her wasn’t one of her disapproving neighbours [ones who came around to ‘check she was okay’ but always managed to slip in the fact that they were being disturbed by the racket] but instead, it was Marci.

‘Mar?’ she said stunned.

‘You’re not dead then,’ Marci said angrily before she pushed past her into the house.

‘Mar-’ Addison started as Marci walked into the middle of the room though she didn’t seem to take any of it in as she whipped around to confront her friend.

‘Do you know how worried I’ve been!? You practically disappeared off the face of the earth! No calls, no letters! I’ve been going out of my mind!’

‘I’ve been a little busy,’ Addison said tightly though she didn’t know why she was being short with her. She knew she was in the wrong but the number of hormones and exhaustion coursing through her right now was making it hard not to be snappy especially given her tone.

‘Busy? Doing what?!’ she asked, ‘because right now the only thing you should be busy doing is being on a bus back to Memphis! You know what’s happened right?’

‘What are you talking about?’ Addison said.

‘Elvis is back,’ she said her anger falling to sadness as she added, ‘his Mamas passed away.’

Addison stood there stunned. Marci’s words didn’t even seem to penetrate her brain but as she stared at her the more they sunk in. Elvis was back in Memphis. Elvis was back. And Gladys was dead. Her heart squoze tightly in her chest.

‘When?’ she asked through the lump that had formed in her throat.

‘A couple of days ago,’ Marci said quietly, ‘I’ve been waiting for you but Jerry said you’ve never been around and with you going silent…what’s going on?’

‘Mar,’ Addison said feeling tears prick her eyes. But she didn’t have to tell her anything. At that moment Jess started to fuss causing both of them to look towards the basinet in the corner of the room that Marci hadn’t even realised was there. Though her head was still reeling it was like a switch had been flicked in Addison and she moved past her friend to her daughter, picking her up which made her settle. As she held her in her arms Addison took a seat on the bed, her friend watching her in stunned silence.

‘I didn’t know how to tell you,’ Addison said after a moment, ‘I didn’t know how to tell anyone.’

‘Oh honey,’ Marci said taking a seat beside her friend and pulling her in with one arm as Jess continued to sleep in her mother’s arms. They stayed there for a moment, Marci watching the pair of them as tears rolled silently down her friend’s cheeks.

‘Addie,’ she said after a moment, ‘Addie you have to come home.’

‘I can’t,’ Addison said thickly.

‘Addie he needs to know about this,’ she said firmly.

‘I can’t Mar,’ she said looking at her pleadingly, ‘they don’t want me. None of them do.’

‘Elvis does,’ Marci said, ‘he loves you.’

‘It’s not enough,’ she said, ‘I wish it was but it’s not.’

‘Addie,’ Marci said sadly.

‘Mar I’m not going back. I can’t. And I know you don’t understand right now but I’ve had months to think this over. And no matter what I’m choosing my daughter. I’m choosing to protect her,’ she said. Marci looked at her friend. She didn’t understand, in fact, she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to comprehend anything again in her life her mind was so all over the place at that moment but looking in Addison’s eyes she couldn’t help but feel her heartstrings tug. She hadn’t been able to help in past. With her dad. With Elvis. At every turn her friend had tried to hold it together herself and looking around the room at the chaos it looked as though this time she wasn’t winning the battle. Marci sighed.

‘So, what are we going to do?’ Marci said.

As the memory played on her mind she found Elvis watching her closely. It was something she hadn’t thought about in years and though at the time it had felt horrendous looking back now it was a fond one. It was the pinpoint of her life intertwining with Marci’s the way that it had. It was the reason she was even still going today. As Elvis waited for her to continue, she shuffled suddenly feeling under scrutiny.

‘And then she just stayed,’ she continued, ‘she wanted me to go back but she didn’t push. Honestly I don’t know what I would’ve done without her. I was a mess and she completely rallied around.’

‘Marci?’ he asked struggling to picture the ditzy teenager in the driver’s seat. Not when Addison was on board.

‘Yeah, I guess I’d been fighting for so long I didn’t have much fight left in me…’ Addison said quietly, ‘we spent the first year or so working in that little motel. Then she got a place at cosmetology school here in Vegas and we moved up here. We split working so that one of us was always with Jess. She even let me work for her when she started her own shop because it meant I could have Jess at the store with me instead of babysitters.’

‘That’s nice,’ he said. Though it hurt his heart to hear everything he was glad she had Marci. In fact, he was struck by how similar the situation was to his parents caring for her on behalf of Joe.

‘Yeah, not that cosmetology was really my thing,’ she said with a wry smile, ‘but once Jess was in kindergarten I decided to go to back to school. I mean I had my diploma so it wasn’t too hard and Mar still helped a lot. But about a year or so ago she met this guy and moved to California and I’m happy for her don’t get me wrong, but it was always just the three of us y’know? She was just always there…it’s just been a big change.’

‘I get that,’ Elvis said, ‘but it sounds like you guys did good…I’m glad you had her.’

‘Me too,’ Addison said with a soft smile, ‘that’s why I miss her so much. I know I was on my own but I wasn’t…not really.’

‘Well you’re not on your own now,’ Elvis reasoned, ‘you’ve got me. Both of you.’

‘Yeah, I guess you’re right,’ she said feeling hope flutter inside her.

‘Hey EP you guys coming?’ they heard Red call and when they looked over they found most of the group was already strolling to the next exhibit with Red lingering a few yards behind having noticed they hadn’t tagged along. Elvis smiled at her apologetically and then stood up offering a hand out to pull her up which he was surprised she took. As she smoothed out her clothes and started walking back to the party by his side she felt a weight be lifted off her.

It wasn’t easy but telling him all this stuff felt right. They had eased back into their friendship almost immediately but there still felt like a chasm between their souls, one that seemed to be healing with each interaction they had. That was why Jerry’s comment had unnerved her. She couldn’t love him, not like that, not yet at least, because there was too much that needed to come before any of it. Fortunately, it felt like that stuff was starting to happen.

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#my writing #elvis #elvis presley #elvis presley fic #elvis fic #elvis presley x oc #addison goodwin #here you come again

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bellamyblake · 9 months

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Part 40 of the single!dad Bellamy fic is posted! Here are the people who asked to be tagged (if you want to be removed please let me know): @pendragaryen, @takamurasposts, @star-sky-earth, @blakecholls, @theturquoiseoillady, @sarcasticcommentsetc, @peggysousfan, @whiteoleander, @chickens474; (I unfortunately can’t tag everyone as some new Tumblr rule forbids me to do so! Sorry!)

(moodboard by @star-sky-earth):

The next few days go mostly smoothly or as much as they can, considering everything. Bellamy returns to work on Wednesday, though he could’ve had it off as well, simply because he had zero points in his ration card after spending more on cough syrup and extra bandages for Gus’ leg. Both Aurora and Clarke try to talk him out of it, let him have another day off, at the very least but he’s adamant.

Clarke knows he’s not okay-he still hurt and he hurt bad. His cough was only a little better but only because she forced him to drink the syrup three times a day despite him arguing with her constantly about it, but his back and his leg in particular, they were bad. The cut under his knee put even more of a strain on his walking abilities and despite having the brace on, he still used the cane or his crutch around the house.

He swallowed down all pain though, all because of Gus who...wasn’t doing well either.

The frost bite was healing, slowly but surely, as Clarke observed. She could wish it happened faster but it could’ve been from the lack of better nutritious food in his every day meals and the constant cold he was exposed to that his skin healed much slower than any case of frost bite should.

He wasn’t the only one, though. When all three of them had gone by the playground the other night, there were many other families, including Monty, Harper and Jordan who had suffered frostbite as well, worse than Gus even, that were struggling with their kids, helping them walk or mostly carrying them around-it broke her heart-all these young tiny souls, barely four or five and they were already in so much pain.

The playground looked more like a big quiet room with swings only swaying here and there and mostly consisting of concerned parents sitting next to each other with the kids on the benches, talking and exchanging strategies of how to help them, what paste to use or which pill to ease their pain, rather than a happy place for kids to run, scream, yell and just be...children.

It was much more a ghost town than anything else and it broke Clarke’s heart.

The first few days they carried Gus around everywhere. Mostly Bellamy did, even though he should not be lifting anything heavy with that leg but the kid simply refused to let go of him. He’d wrap his tiny arms around his dad’s neck like a spider monkey and let Bellamy walk around the house with him like that all day long, even when they slept, he refused to let go.

He couldn’t walk on his own at first but they had tried again last night and he had limped heavily. It was like what Clarke imagined learning how to walk again was before-Bellamy held him by his hands as Gus walked slowly between his dad’s ones.

Problem was neither was stable on their feet but Bellamy somehow kept on, for his son, he made his knee bend, he forced his leg to stay strong.

At first Gus had whimpered and refused to try anymore-it really did hurt him, Clarke knew from all she had read in her text books that frostbite hurt like hell, no matter the age. She had only treated one patient before with it but apparently in Factory it was a common thing that everyone had experienced at least once in their lives.

By now, she was pretty certain that Bellamy could’ve suffered some that unfortunate night too, but his skin had simply hardened and he didn’t feel it as much because when she changed the bandage on his shin, she noticed the redness of his toes too since his sock was miraculously off (or more like he didn’t have a clean pair since they were behind on laundry) and when she touched them he hadn’t felt much of anything. The tip of his fingers too were red and swollen, peeling a little but that could’ve been from the burns that were still healing and making his hands shake.

They built a sort of routine since she knew that she can’t talk him out of going to work, she just had to do something to make sure she’s at least sending him off in a way he wasn’t hurting as much.

She started waking up early as well, checking his knee, helping him put his brace on, changing the bandages on his hands and wrapping his ribs, then giving him some cough syrup and forcing him to eat at least a toast and some biscuits.

He hadn’t talked about work but she knew that something was different from before-he had started coming home more tired than he had before and he somehow had the rations to buy bread every other day as well as not just formula and the regular algae but more corn cans, beans and fruits and vegitables-a few tomatoes here, some oranges there and apples-the cheaper ones but they were something that she knew he couldn’t afford before.

She had also noticed Aurora stopped prodding him about it as well, which meant she probably knew what was going on and she was definitely not happy about it but somehow she tolerated it. Clarke had decided to let him come to her with it and not pressure him but she could see the mental and physical toll that he was suffering and she was worried.

He was barely dragging his skin in the evening and though he slept, she could see he was sadder, worried.

Part of it was because of Gus. In the past week since the accident on Level 2 and the unfortunate night they spent cuddled in the bathroom, he had grown quiet. Typically he was a shy boy out in the world, in day care and even on the playground but at home he was a blabbering happy cute little munchkin.

Now, though...now he wouldn’t utter a word. He just stopped talking or answered with only yes and no’s making everyone, including Clarke and Aurora worry. Clearly he’s been through something traumatic just like after the bombings when he had grown anxious and bursted out but now he was just...sad. He’d stopped eating too and if it wasn’t for Bellamy to patiently force him, he wouldn’t be convinced to try anything-not even the buscuits or chocolate that Aurora brought to try and boost his appetite.

Needless to say his feet hurt too and he’d spend his day sitting all the time-either in bed or in his chair. Bellamy insisted he still did homework-their teacher, miss Karen sent them tutorials on the old tablet Bellamy has had for ages, so Clarke went through things with him every morning.

Most children were still at home recovering anyway, so Gus wasn’t an exception-many parents were at home as well, suffering injuries like coughs and frostbite too, so they helped the kids out. The station was hit really hard after this particular electricity cut and every time Clarke went out with Bellamy and Gus on a short walk or to the mess hall, she could see people barely walking by, coughing all the time just like Bellamy, with various injuries, usually limping or clenching their hands to their chests in pain.

It has been a week and the chancellor hadn’t done anything to help Factory medically-he still refused to reopen the small medbay office Clarke was running with Jackson or increase the rations or bring in medicine to the pharmacy which was by now almost empty safe for Tylenol. The only thing he did is let the electricty at night be cut to six hours instead of seven and he considered it a blessing. The Factory councilmen was an idiot who hid in his whole because he knew people were angry and never did anything to fight for their rights-in result, people were not just hurting, but dying. An old neighbour on Bellamy’s hallway had passed just last night from the exposure and the bad cough she had and Aurora whispered that one of her coworkers, a woman a little older than her had too passed out and died yesterday morning on their way there.

And Clarke.

Clarke wasn’t just angry. She was furious.

But she’s also never felt more helpless.

Even at home she could do little for both Bellamy and Gus. She knew Bellamy was tough and by now used to his pain but watching Gus suffer...watching this tiny adorable kid who loved the world and took on it with his pure big heart wake up at night, moan and clench his dad’s shirt as he cried quietly...

That broke her.

She fiercely wanted to protect him, to be there for him and he let her-he liked when she tutored him and drew with him. He sat fascinated in her lap and asked for different animals she’d outline for him to color but he was still quiet and barely talkative. Making him eat was an effort she couldn’t succeed in and one that even Aurora failed in whenever she passed by.

But when Bellamy came home, that was a whole different thing-Gus would perk up a little and immideately throw his hands in the air and ask to be picked up. He’d wrap around him and refuse to let go-he could even be coaxed to eat or at least finish his bottle of formula. Bellamy would sit with him and watch him draw or read to him and he’d get calmer, fall asleep easier but he was still quiet, small, sad.

It broke all their hearts.

Now that Bellamy was opening up the door of the small appartment, Gus immideately turned his head to his dad who came in limping and tired-face covered in dark machine oil as well as most of his jumpsuit, his hair a mess sticking to his head, his fingers covered in bloody cuts.

But Gus didn’t care about any of that, he smiled a little and so did his dad. Aurora, who had come by to show Clarke some stitching tricks and brought her clothes to mend (which Bellamy disagreed with), looked up at them curiously.

“Hello, everyone.” he said as he closed the door behind him and carried the brown cloth bag filled with food on the table, taking off his jacket and reaching for Gus who was already begging for him. “Hey, little man.”

“Dada!” he almost moaned as Bellamy picked him up and he immideately wrapped his arms around his neck “Dada!”

“Hey, baby boy.” Bellamy stroked his head and peppered his face with kisses “Dad’s missed you.” Gus leans his head on his shoulder and rests in his arms as Bellamy kisses the top of Clarke’s head and squeezes Aurora’s shoulder.

“Hey.” Clarke whispers as she looks up at him while he carefully slides down on the chair Gus was occupying and immideately stretching his bad leg out.

“You’re dirty.” Aurora comments “You should really clean before taking him in.”

“If you have any ideas about making him let go, I’m all ears, mom.” he says lightly, not a trace of annoyance in him, only worry and Clarke doesn’t miss how his hand never stops running up and down Gus’ back. “How was your day?”

“Good. We studied some, then I gave him a bath, then he watched some cartoons and drew.”

“Lunch?” Clarke shakes her head.

“He wouldn’t.” she whispers “Your mom tried too.” he nods and rocks the kid up and down a little before pulling away some. Gus keeps playing with the straps of his jumpsuit instead of looking at him and Bellamy just takes the time to hold him, let him know he’s here now and he’s safe, kiss his forehead again, smile at him, run his hand down his curls and clear his forehead so that he could look into his eyes.

“How was your day, buddy?”

“It was good.” he mumbles quietly, barely audible.

“Did you do your homework?” Gus nods as he keeps playing now with the zipper of his jacket “I hear you haven’t eaten again. You must be hungry?” Gus shakes his head.

“No, dada.” Bellamy drops his hand to his stomach and covers it whole, then leans into it and pretends to listen.

“Hm...I think your tummy disagrees.” he says “It just told me it’s empty, huh?” Gus looks up and smiles a little and Bellamy rubs his nose against his. Then tickles his sides a little and Gus squirms but fights his chuckles “Am I right?”

“No, dada.” he answers but he’s fooling around out of sheer stubborness by now.

“Are you sure, wait-let me see, oh, what was that tummy?” he pulls Gus up on his feet on his thighs and leans his ear to his sides and Gus wiggles in his arms, smiling a little, holding himself by wrapping his tiny fingers in Bellamy’s curls to steady his weak composture “Oh, oh what’s that Mister Tummy? Do I hear that you’re...you’re hungry?”

“Dada!!!” Gus wiggles but he’s laughing now, for the first time today, it sounds honest, sweet, like his old self. “Dada, no!”

“No, you say little Gus?” Bellamy asks perking up at little and Gus shakes his head.

“No, dada! No hunwgy!”

“Hmm-” he presses his ear to his tummy again “But I can hear Mister Tummy complain, he needs oh what is that? You want milk? Or maybe...some biscuits?”

“No, dada.” Gus shakes his head and Bellamy pulls up his shirt and pats his stomach that had blown out a little from the lack of proper meals, making Gus’ ribs stick out by his sides and Clarke wince-it wasn’t anything you wanted to see on a child and she knew Bellamy’s eyes darkened at it too, in a much angrier manner.

“No?” Bellamy asks surprised and looks up at Gus who’s eyes are still sad but there was a sweet honest smile to his face that made Clarke’s heart clench again. “What if I told Mister Tummy and Mister Gus that I bought home something special?” he asks and reaches over to unwrap the cloth bag he always used for groceries revealing a small bottle of what Clarke knew by now was Algae refined oil, Factory’s only means of cooking any meal-it came in bottles sometimes or small metal jars looking like a white snow cream concotion in those cases, making it one of the most precious possessions in every appartment, as well as a small package of salt and some spices and...a bag of potatoes.

Now that made Aurora’s eyes widen as much as Clarke’s had-potatoes were expensive, maybe one of the most expensive goods in Factory coming even above the jerky they could only buy so much of and chocolate, which ration points had fallen since Alpha’s production of it increased during this part of the season. If Bellamy had managed to afford not just one but a small bag of what was about 6-7 potatoes that in reality wasn’t that much but was a lot for Factory, then it meant he had either agreed to work an extra day this weekend or had already done something stupidly dangerous to earn this neither of which she liked as an option.

“POTATOES!” Gus had exclaimed mouth agape, clapping his hands for a moment, happy at what he was seeing. “Dada, that’s potatoes!”

“I know, son.” Bellamy smilled kissing his tummy again, making him squirm in his arms “How would you like it if dad fried some tonight and put the special tasty herbs or added grandma’s sause, huh?” Gus was already nodding. It seemed that every Factory’s child favorite meal was french fries in comparison to Alpha’s pizza’s, burgers or donuts that most of the Factory population hasn’t even tasted once in their lives. “Would Gus like that?”

“Yes, dada, pwease!”

“Okay, come here now, give dad a big hug!” Gus threw himself in his arms again, wrapping his hands tightly behind his neck and his legs on both his sides that were still bruised even if a little better, mumbling a quiet “Thank you, dada.”

“You’re welcome, big boy.”

“You’re spoiling him.” Aurora mumbles quietly when she comes by his side and picks up the products, leaving the remaining contents of his bag on the table.

“Mom, wait, I’ll make them.” but Aurora simply waves her hand and shakes her head at him.

“You’re barely standing on your feet as it is, just get some rest.”

“Mom, I-”

“I know you can do this, I know you can take care of your son, but right now, I’m telling you that you can simply sit there and be with him and Clarke while I make the french fries, okay?” he grumps at that but lets her run her hand through his curls, lean down and kiss the top of his head motherly.

“You’re spoiling me now too.” he mumbles.

“What choice do I have, you’re my son.” she jokes but Clarke can see how warm and motherly it sounds still but she doesn’t prod about how he got it even if Clarke knew she was surprised too and decides she’ll be the one to ask later. Bellamy smiles, keeps rubbing Gus’ back until the boy slips from his arms, turns in his lap and picks up his drawing again.

“What’s that, buddy?” he asks as he stretches out his hand and gestures for Clarke with his other hand to scoot closer, which she does by moving her chair next to them and letting him sneak a hand to her waist and pull her in for a brief hug as she carefully, secretly kisses the side of her head and rubs his nose against her forehead as Gus focuses on his drawing.

“Clarke dwew me a tigew.” he mumbles as he picks up one of his pencils, the small pack that Clarke had bought him so many moons ago at the black market visit before she and Bellamy were anything close to what they were now and colors the body of the animal in orange.

“Looks really nice.” Bellamy comments as he keeps swiping the curls away from his forehead. “What else did you do today?” Gus shrugs a little, going back to his quieter self and Bellamy exchanged a worried look with Clarke “What did you and Clarke learn?”

“We read about the Earth before...pwant and animals.”

“Did you like it?” Gus nods but doesn’t elaborate “What about reading? Did you guys read the poems miss Karen sent you? Did you practice on your letters?” Gus nods and this time moves up from his place, pushing some of the papers aside and picking up his only notebook-a blue one with his name meticiously written in block letters by his father, before opening it up and stopping at the last page Gus wrote in, showing him practicing the letters K and H in both cursive and regular handwriting and Bellamy’s chest swells with pride at how good his son was doing.

“Much better than my ugly blocks, wouldn’t you say, little man?” Gus looks up and smiles some.

“They’re not ugly, dada.” he whispers “I like them.”

“Thank you, my boy.” he kisses his forehead again “Dad’s proud of you, this is really beautiful.” Gus blushes a little and looks down at his work again, much like his dad, bad at accepting a compliment and shrugging a little.

“Gus messed up a wittle hewe-” he points at a shaky line on the letter H he did and Bellamy’s heart clenches in pain-he always thought that he had to be perfect in everything, it was a quality Gina possessed-her stubborn perfection into her work, much more consistent than his haphazard yet good mechanic work, though he wasn’t far behind-he too strived to be his best, for his family, for his coworkers, but he usually failed at it and hated that Gus felt like he has to perform at the highest level every time even though he was already amazing at his studies and progressed beyond any of his peers.

“No, you didn’t.” Bellamy assured “It’s great work.” Gus shrugs a little again, not truly believing him and Bellamy looks up at Clarke for support.

“He read a few sentences on his own today.” she praises sliding her hand on Gus’ back, softly rubbing it up and down. Behind them Aurora had already cut the potatoes and the room was starting to smell like fry potatoes which in turn made Clarke’s mouth water.

“He did?” Bellamy looks up surprised before turning back to his boy “Did you do it, little man?” Gus doesn’t look up again, just nods a little “Which book did you read from?” Gus looks around the table again and moves up to grab the small hand-made book that Clarke had given him for his birthday that was 'The Giving Tree' which he had fallen in love with and asked his dad or Clarke to read it to him all the time. “Of course...your favorite at the moment.” Gus goes back to his drawing and now does the tiger’s stripes-he’s back to his quiet and sad self, refusing to really talk but never really letting go of his dad “Do you want to read some to dad?” Gus ponders for a moment, stops drawing and looks up briefly at his dad with his big sad brown-green eyes.

“Mawbe water?”

“Okay, we’ll do it later.” Bellamy strokes his head again and turns his attention back to Clarke. “Did he try to walk today?”

“Some...but he was in pain so he only took a few steps really.” she explained sadly “I need to change the bandage again but he doesn’t want me to unless you’re here too.” Bellamy knew that-Gus would only ever let Clarke look at his toes if Bellamy was here, so they changed it mostly in the morning and later in the evening when he came home.

“Okay, let’s do that now, shall we?” Clarke nods in agreement and Bellamy picks Gus up and turns him around, so they’re face to face.

“Hey, little fella, we have to take care of your foot now, okay?” he says and Gus’ look changes from indifferent and sad to scared but he purses his lips and nods. “I’ll be here the whole time, alright? Then we’ll eat fries and play some, okay?” Gus nods, shoving his fingers in his mouth like he did when he was both hungry and nervous and let his dad put him sitting on the table.

Clarke rubs his forearm gently, whispers that everything will be okay before she brings in her small bag of supplies that consisted of old cloth pieces turned bandages, the frostbite cream, some antiseptic and a needle and a thread that Gus thankfully didn’t need now.

Bellamy takes off the slippers Gus used at home as well as the two pairs of socks to keep him warm enough and the kid shivers as he does that but says nothing.

“You know what else dad got you today?” he asks Gus and the boy shakes his head, still munching on his fingers nervously. “A special something for a good boy.” Bellamy explains and Gus’ eyes grow sizes at it, the barest of excitement sparking in his eyes that follow his dad’s movement to the bag and watches him take out a small grey box.

“Dada?” he asks confused when Bellamy carefully places it in his hands.

“Look up.”

“My birthday passed, dada.” he whispers back. “Gus don’t get mow pwesents now.”

“It’s not a present, it’s more like something you need which dad got you for when you go back to day care or the playground with us.” Gus seems confused but under his dad’s nudging look he opens up the box and Clarke sees a pair of new shoes, a size bigger than the one Gus was previously wearing. She knew that his old ones were torn up at the soles and too small for him. Bellamy had tried to duck tape them to secure them into a semi-decent condition but he’s been hoping to get him a new pair for months now.

And he finally had suceeded.

Only she had no idea where he got the rations for it and she was starting to worry.

“Shoes!” Gus exclaims, clearly very happy with it. His hand hovers over them as if they’re the most precious possession but he doesn’t dare pick them up or take a better look at them. “But dada...how did you do it?” he asks and Bellamy rubs his thighs gently.

“Dad worked on fixing this special engine and he managed it so he got extra ration points.” it’s a lie or at least a half-lie, Clarke’s sure of it and even Gus seems a little surprised because he adds.

“Would you have to work Saturday again to make up fow it?” Bellamy nods with a sad smile.

“Yes, but only half a day and we can spent the afternoon together.” Gus nods more seriously now, he’s somewhat feeling both happy and sad at the same time and Clarke and Bellamy can both see it because they exchange a look before Bellamy speaks up again.

“What is it, buddy? Don’t you like them?” he asks “They’re easy to put on, no shoeslaces and they’ll fit you right up, I promise.” Gus shakes his head.

“It’s not dat, dada.” Bellamy waits a beat but Gus doesn’t add anything so he prompts him.

“Then what is it, big boy?”

“I just...wish you didn’t work that hard fow Gus.”

“Oh, son-” Bellamy pulls him up to his chest and holds him tight “I don’t work as hard, I promise. I just want you to have all the things you need because I love you.”

“I love you too, dada.” Gus whispers when they pull back “But Gus pwefews you home on Satuwday than...shoes.” Bellamy’s eyes fill up and he pulls Gus into a tight hug again. They loved each other so much it was breaking Clarke’s heart and she noticed that Bellamy got teary himself and brushed his eyes away before he faced Gus again.

“I’ll keep that in mind, big boy, I promise.” Gus smiles a little at that and stares down at the shoes once more.

“I like them, dada.”

“You do?” Bellamy asks hope returning to his voice after he worried that this isn’t what would make Gus at least a little bit happy and the kid nods eagerly “Maybe later when Clarke changes your bandages we can walk some with them around the room, huh? Or down the hallway?” Gus kind of folds into himself at that and shrugs with uncertainty.

“Gus don’t know, dada.”

“You have to start walking again, Gus. I know it will hurt at first but Clarke says you’re healing fine, so with time, it will get easier, alright?” Gus doesn’t answer just keeps his head bowed down and Bellamy sighs, once again running his hand down his head and pulling him close to give him a small kiss on the forehead before removing the shoes from his lap and giving Clarke a small nod “Okay, let’s do this.”

“Can I have Wainbow too?” Gus asks and Bellamy whispers a small “Of course” before he stands up and limps to the bed where he fishes out the colorful stuffed giraffe Clarke gave him when he was last that sick. She loved that he was enjoying the stuffed toy so much that he wouldn’t really go anywhere without it.

Bellamy lets him wrap his arms around it and push it close as Clarke approaches him and starts undoing the older bandage.

There was some blood on it from the big toe that had peeled the most hurt Gus worse than the others and Bellamy winces when he sees it, giving Clarke a concerned look but she shakes her head.

“It’s okay, it’s normal.” she promises but he doesn’t think any of what was happening to them was ever normal. He grits his teeth and tries to calm his anger down by simply giving her a nod in agreement, yet she squeezes his wrist before she takes a look at Gus’ toes. They definitely looked better than before but Bellamy couldn’t keep his eyes on them much as it hurt his heart and this was his child...his baby boy, who was in pain because the electricy went off for over twelve hours.

He focuses on Gus instead and he notices that he’s squeezing Rainbow really hard and burying his face in the toy, trying not to cry as Clarke applied the cream paste and praised him for doing so well.

Something in his chest twists and he takes Clarke’s hand in his gently stopping her.

“Wait a moment, will you?” he asks of her and she nods despite being surprised by his interruption “Gus, will you look at me, son?” he asks and it takes a moment before Gus unwraps himself from his tight grip around the toy and looks up, resting his chin atop Rainbow’s head. “Are you trying not to cry because of us?” Gus ponders a little and avoids his dad's eyes

“Gus, please look at me-” Bellamy insists, using his serious dad voice now that Clarke knew Gus never argued against and indeed now the kid looks up all big bright eyes filled with pain and misery “I know you hurt now, son, but if you’re trying to hide your pain away from us to protect us, you don’t have to do it, do you understand me?” Gus furrows his little eyebrows at his dad’s explanation “You don’t need to be strong all the time, okay?”

“Why not?” he counters surprising both Clarke and Bellamy “You do it all the time, dada.”

“That’s not true, Gus.”

“Yes, it is. You hide pain. You huwt all the time but you don’t cry.” Gus continues, raising his voice a little and Clarke hears Aurora turn around too, probably worried when she heard the argument but the pan was still sizzling which meant her focus was elsewhere. “You never cwy.”

“Of course I do.” he insists “I cry all the time when it hurts me too much.” Gus doesn’t seem convinced so Bellamy continues “I just don’t do it when you’re here because I don’t want you to worry, but I cry, you can ask grandma and Clarke, they have seen me.” Gus looks at Clarke who nods a little. “You can’t swallow your pain down, Gus.” Bellamy insists “If you do...it will turn into this dark horrible thing that you carry inside you all the time. It’s like...a monster of sorts, that makes you angry and sad. And I know you’re sad now, son and it’s okay to be sad too just...I need you to know that you can cry or whimper or scream if it’s too much and not be ashamed to do so, okay?”

Gus ponders on it for a moment.

“But you’re so strong, dada.”

“There’s strength in the tears too, there’s strength in showing your pain, okay?” Bellamy keeps on and Gus, the smart boy that he was, seems to be thinking over his words and letting them sink in a little “I’m sorry that I made you think otherwise. I’m sorry that you thought you have to just take it all the time without showing any emotion. That is not the right thing.”

“You really cwy?” Gus asks carefully.

“Yes I do.”

“It urts you?” Gus asks again and Bellamy nods “It urts you like it urts me?”

“Yes.” Bellamy admits and feels like they’re finally making some break through after all the days since the accident. Gus needed to have this conversation, obviously, as painful as it was.

“Dada-” he asks next and Clarke uses the distraction of their conversation to wrap his toes and foot gently. “Will I...Will Gus limp forever like you?” she suddenly stops her work upon hearing that and feels Bellamy freeze next to her.

She watches him clench his jaw in a desperate attempt to probably force himself not to break down as he looked into Gus’ sad eyes and then finally cleared his throat and spoke up.

“No, son. Where did you get this idea?” Gus shrugs a little. “You will heal, you already are healing, you will be okay. It is not a permanent thing, alright?”

“And it will stop hurting?”

“Yes, it will, Gus. It will all go away and you will walk like before.” he turns to Clarke and adds “Right?”

“Absolutely.” Clarke promises as she finishes his bandage and pats his knee “You will recover, Gus.” it seemed like depiste them already talking about it and telling him everything will be alright, he didn’t believe it, especially since it took him longer to heal up “You need to try and walk and eat, though, okay? Your body needs the strength to help the wounds close faster so your toes feel better, alright?”

“You’ll try to eat for us, right, Gus?” Bellamy asks and the kids nods.

“Gus just don’t feel much like it, dada.”

“I know, but you need to.” Gus ponders a little, seemingly still lost in thoughts and Bellamy prompts him “Do you have other questions? Something you want to ask us?”

“If Gus gotta eat mow to get better...does that mean if you eat mow your leg will heal too, dada?” Bellamy winces at that and bows his head down for a moment feeling Clarke’s hand on his elbow squeezing it tightly.

“It doesn’t really work like that, Gus.” Clarke answers for him but Bellamy gives her a look suggesting that he’s got that.

“My injury is different, Gus.” he tries explaining “It can’t really...get better, okay?” Gus’ face falls at that and his eyes well with tears which makes Bellamy wince “But that’s why I got Clarke here and grandma and you too, helping me out when I’m tired or in pain, okay?” Gus doesn’t seem to like this answer.

“You’ll always huwt then, dada?” he asks and Bellamy swallows hard.

“I...yes, I will.” Bellamy admits, not really wanting to lie to his son after everything they’ve been through. “But I will be okay. It’s not always that hard, it doesn’t always hurt.” he lies and Clarke knows that he does but she just doesn’t have it in her to say anything so she just looks away for a moment trying to compose herself.

“Dada...” he begins again but stops himself as if wondering wheather or not he should actually keep going “You got huwt because...because that group...wanted better things for us?”

“Yes...yes that’s right.” Bellamy answers, furrowing his eyebrows a little, not sure that he gets where Gus was going with that “But we’ve talked about how what they did wasn’t the right way, remember?”

“Because they bombed the squawe?”

“Yes.”

“And others got huwt...not just Alpha or wolves but us too?” Bellamy nods.

“They didn’t have the right...the right approach, the better way of doing things. Remember how we’ve talked that when someone teases you at school, you can’t fight back, you have to be smart and strong, defend yourself in other ways, maybe using your words, rather than your fists?” Gus nods a little but his mind is obviously somewhere else.

“They were...killed those people, right, dada? Floated?” Bellamy nods and Gus keeps staring somewhere at the floor before he speaks up again “And me and my fwiends and Jowdan too...we got huwt because electricity stopped?”

“Yes, that’s true.”

“But...electricity stops every night, right?” Bellamy nods again “But only in Factory and Farm, not in Alpha. It was warm when we were in Clarke’s place.”

“Yes, son.” then Gus finally looks up and stares into Bellamy’s eyes, confusion but also frustration written all over his face.

“Why, dada?” he asks and Clarke sees Bellamy’s hands fall to his lap and him swallow hard “Why is it bad for us but not for them?” Clarke didn’t envy Bellamy right now-how does he exlpain to a four year old kid who’s just coming to realize what it means to actually live in Factory?

“It’s...it’s complicated, Gus.” Bellamy says not sure how to continue really and Clarke sees with her periphery vision that Aurora takes the pan off the hot plate and brings in three steaming plates of french fries covered in some herbs with her special kutchup-like sauce on the side, placing them before them.

“Gus-” she calls him out as she sits down on the only empty chair and smiles softly at her grandson, reaching out to cup his cheek “You know your dad used to ask me the same questions you’re doing now and I didn’t always know how to answer.” he looks at her curiously and Bellamy exhales a little at her intervening as well, not sure he could’ve handled it on his own. Clarke herself had absolutely no idea what to say to Gus’ question either and she, least of all, could explain how come Alpha was so much better off than Factory. “I used to ask my dad too why we starved while Alpha thrived back when I was your age.” Aurora continues patiently.

“Weally?”

“Yes. And the truth is...the more you grow up the more you’ll ask yourself these things and why certain stations are worse off than others. That is after all what these people who bombed the square were trying to understand too and provoke the chancellor to change it.”

“But he didn’t?”

“No, he didn’t. It only got worse for us because violence is not the way.” Aurora continues “You remember how you learned about the stations coming together for the Unity Days celebrations, right?” Gus nods reaching out mindlessly to pick up a french fry and pop it in his mouth, which made Bellamy very happy and he pushed the plate closer to Gus, who immideately reached for another before having even chewed the first one properly.

“They all came to be from diffewent contwies that inhabitit the Eawth?”

“That’s right. And countries back then were much like what the Ark is now-some were poorer than others, some had doctors and others didn’t, some had electricity and others only used candles.” Gus ponders about that for a while.

“But the stowy says that when the Ark came togethew we were all to be the same.”

“That’s right, son-” Bellamy chimes in now too as he watches Gus stuff his mouth with the potatoes and feels his heart finally ease a little in his chest. He wouldn’t touch that plate, wouldn’t eat for days if it meant his son would go back to his healthier habits.”But it didn’t really work that way.”

“It’s not faiw.” Gus finally says after thinking a little bit on his dad and grandma’s words “Rait, dada?”

“No, it isn’t, son but...there is hope.” he looks up at Clarke and his mom.

“Howpe?”

“Yes. We may not be able to change the system but we can still fight it and not in a violent way like the Arrowheads. People...change-there are kind and decent men and women on Alpha, like Clarke-” Gus turns to her and she smiles at him, rubbing his leg up and down softly “They understand the inequality and want to help us. There are kinder guards too, not all of them are wolves. There are...people who try their best despite the way our system works to erase the line separating us.” Gus looks up at his dad and he leans down to kiss his forehead “Dad tries too, even if he isn’t too great at it. One day...I hope for you to be able to do the same-to help others or work something that you enjoy but that helps everyone regardless of their station.”

“I will, dada.” Gus says enthusiastically “Gus will be a doctor!” he exclaims patting his now greasy, covered in spices hands, his adorable face messy with the red sause but his eyes beaming with a light that hadn’t been present in the past week. “Gus will help othews laik Clarke.”

“Whatever you want, son.” Bellamy assures rubbing his head softly and pushing him to his chest “Dad, grandma and Clarke-” he looks up at her with another smile “We’ll always be here to support you, okay?”

“Awkay, dada.”

“Never let your spark go out, kid. Always remember to be kind, to be good. No matter how hard it gets, this is what matters, do you understand?” Bellamy adds and Gus turns around a little covering his chest with his tiny hand and smiling some.

“Like you, dada?”

“I’m not always right or good, but I try. I don’t want you to be like me, Gus-” at that the kid furrows his eyebrows a little in confusion and Bellamy pushes the curls away from his forehead “I want you you to be yourself, okay? To make your own path in life and do what you feel is right in your heart.” he pats Gus chest next and the kid looks down at his dad’s patched up finger on himself. “Even if what you want disagrees with my opinion.”

“Awkway, dada.” Gus agrees and Clarke smiles as she watches them-Bellamy loved his boy so much it was unreal but Gus too adored his dad to the point where watching them have a conversation like this brought Clarke to tears and she had to look away and brush at them a little, hoping no one would catch her even if she did notice Aurora giving her a look.

“Now you won’t get to do any of this if you don’t eat, so come on, dad wants to see you finish this plate.” Bellamy turns his attention back to the food and Gus picks up another potato from the half-destroyed plate.

“What about you,dada?”

“Dad will eat too, here-” he picks one and munches on it but Clarke and Aurora exchange a look, knowing well-enough he’s simply trying to distract the kid, so Clarke moves her chair closer and elbows him in the ribs a little, pushing her plate in his direction.

“You won’t get away with this, Bellamy. You eat too.” she insists. He rolls his eyes in pretend annoyance but sneaks his hand to hers and squeezes her fingers.

“And you won’t get away with it either, princess.” he whispers seriously.

“Dada, when we eat can we play doctow some?” Gus asks almost finishing his plate and looking up at both Clarke and Bellamy whose faces were so close and itching for a kiss but that split away the moment the kid turned his attention back to them. Sneaking around was harder than they had thought and the only time they could kiss and hold each other or...like this morning when Bellamy pumped her in with his fingers after moving Gus to his own bed, were...a rarity. Especially in this past week when Gus insisted he slept with them, refused to let go of his dad and only after he was sound asleep could they move closer and kiss or simply hold each other. It’s not that Gus was a burden, on the contrary, Clarke loved waking up feeling his warmth and small soft baby breath on her neck, it was that they had to hide it from him. In a way there was a thrill in it but mostly Clarke and she was sure Bellamy too, wanted to be free in expressing their emotions.

They knew they had to talk to him soon about it, but they were being patient in and had decided to wait until he recovers and feels a little better before they shook his already unstable world.

“Yes we can, sweet face.” Clarke answers for Bellamy who is too stunned at the kid’s request, finally seeing some of his old behavior reappear and being utterly lost at words “In fact, you can help me take a look at dad and his leg, listen to his lungs and check his cough, how about that?”

“Yes, Clarke, Gus will help!”

“What are you two now-ganging up on poor old me?” Bellamy jokes as he buries his nose in Gus’ curls and rubs against his head while his fingers move to his sides and tickle him. His plate was now empty and Bellamy carefully nudged the other one in his direction, hoping the kid would eat more while his mom shook her head at him while fixing a shirt that she had brought over for Clarke to mend. She had been coming every day, showing Clarke some stitches and bringing in clothes for her to work on as a way of getting rations on her behalf too. She still didn’t have an ID, Bellamy knew it’d be months probably before the Ark approved of one, if they did, but she got at least temporary papers that he had brought in the other night which didn’t guarantee or give her any privilleges but at least she wasn’t an absolute ghost in this station.

They stated she applied for citizentship in Factory station but he knew that in cases like hers the paperwork was dragged on purpose, so people who were punished the way she was, would have no way of receiving rations or working at all. If she was to marry someone then the documents and new IDs would be done the same day but now...now he knew Alpha was going to drag this for as long as they could, leaving Clarke helpless.

Well...not totally helpless, he was here and so was Aurora. She brought her clothes and with the rations Clarke earned she earned a bowl of algae which was something in these conditions. He knew Clarke wasn’t happy about it, she always wanted to do more, to be of a better help to them and despite his reassurances he knew she felt bad.

And he had every intentions of changing it or at least convincing her that things will look up, they just needed time.

Just as Bellamy is about to force Clarke to eat some too, there’s a knock on the door and all three of them jump in their seats a little. Gus immideatelly wraps his arms around his dad’s neck in a dead-defying grip and Bellamy glances at his mom who furrows his eyebrows.

“Are you expecting someone?” she asks and Bellamy shakes his head when the knock continues, frantically, reminding him of the guards that forced themselves into his home and beat the crap out of him in front of his son.

“Dada!” Gus whimpers in his ear and Bellamy simply wraps his arm tight around the kid as he forces himself up on his feet.

“Don’t worry, kiddo, everything will be fine.”

“Bellamy-” Clarke tries too but he shoots her a look.

“Stay where you are, princess.” it doesn’t come as an order, more like a plead, hoping she won’t be stubborn enough to try and fight him on it and thankfully though she was half-up, she recognizes the desperation in his voice and sits back down.

Bellamy carefully walks to the door and wraps his arm around the handle.

#bellarke fanfiction #bellarke #bellarkeedit #the100edit #bellamyblakeedit #clarkegriffinedit #bellamy blake #clarke griffin #modern au #single!dad bellamy au #doctor!clarke #ark!au #my writing

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hxhhasmysoul · 7 months

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Seriously? lol

@voxmxchina I'll answer this in a post because I don't feel like writing on a character limit. It will be an expression of my annoyance, read at your own discretion, Najma you don't read, you don't need my vexation, I love you.

You gave me too much credit, voxmxchina, I tagged the post out of sheer pettiness. You should’ve looked more closely at the tags on that post, I did not tag the Sokka x Zuko ship because I have nothing nice to say about it. And I don’t go into ATLA tags so I don’t know how fans in those tags behave.

Maybe I didn’t express my main issue with SatoSugu as a ship clearly enough. The main issue is how so many fans of that ship treat the fandom as their private playground and relentlessly spam tags of unrelated characters and ships. Regularly on posts that don’t even mention tagged characters, or much more upsettingly overwrite the canon character moments of those characters by making those exact moments about Gojou, Getou and/or their ship. Posts that will have one sentence preface about how character X (usually Yuuji but others too, all too often, Kenjaku is the second major victim, Megumi third) is a foil/parallel/whatever of G or G and character Y is a foil/parallel/whatever of the other G. And then produce paragraph after paragraph of utter drivel, sometimes not even mentioning character X and Y again, just overwriting their scene with G&G. Or pretend that a moment that is very specifically about another character is actually about G or G, like recently they spammed the tag with claiming Sukuna was disappointed that Gojou died, when Sukuna was very clearly fucking referring to the person he'd just killed, aka Higuruma. Because no moment in JJK can be spared from being about those two characters or their fucking ship, because to their fans, apparently, that’s all that JJK is about and other fans better fucking get along with that program.

During the Takaba and Kenjaku fight I actually blacklisted the SatoSugu ship tags because I couldn’t fucking stomach the behaviour of the fans. And yet I stumbled on a post that made TakaKen about SatoSugu. It was not tagged with any tag mentioning the SatoSugu ship, not a single one, I’m not even sure it had any of their individual tags. But it had Takaba and Kenjaku tags. When I pointed out to the op, amid a longer exchange, that if they didn’t want people who don’t like SatoSugu to engage with their post maybe a) they shouldn’t’ve spammed the tags of the characters they are erasing and more importantly b) tag their shitty ship so people who are actually using available tools not to see posts about it, can avoid that content, that person called me some equivalent of “insane”. They told me that it’s none of anyone’s business how they tag their posts.

So as you see, a member of your own community deems what you’re asking for crazy. Your community is by far the biggest subset of the JJK fandom on this website. And maybe that person was the only one who actually said it verbatim, but everyone who spams the other tags is of the same mindset.

And while I didn’t extend the courtesy to SatoSugu fans because at this point I don’t give a single shit about their feelings and I actually wanted them to see that post and either reflect on their asshole behaviour or get upset and block me and thus purge what I see in the tags from their shit takes, unlike many of them I actually didn’t break the Tumblr ToS by tag spamming. That post is actually partially about the SatoSugu ship.

I think you should first try policing your own community and not, I know it’s wild, zero in on one of the rare posts that express anything negative about that ship. Granted I have a lot of the fandom blocked for various shitty opinions, but when I scrolled down the SatoSugu tag organised by Latest, the first post I found saying anything negative about the ship was, lo and behold, mine. The one you left this reply on.

If I can stomach several posts erasing my favs daily, SatoSugu fans can be exposed to literal five short paragraphs criticising their ship, but mostly their behaviour actually, every once in a while.

#vent #bitter #like literally every time i express any negative opinions about the muppet man and his ship with the fascist #no matter how short #even if it's just a few sentences in a post that is about something else or a post with very few notes #his fans will always come to scold me #in that post there are literally 5 sentences expressing a negative opinion about the ship itself #the rest is about how the fans behave

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benjaminthewolf · 1 year

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D-Side BF Lol

Well, another one of @starlightgirl242 's Monday Night Munchin' requests are complete! I hope all you MNM fans out there are excited! Enjoy!

Edit: Why is this post showing up just fine in literally every other tag EXCEPT the "Monday Night Munchin" tag? The one without the apostrophe...like bruh...

Edit 2: Apparently it’s a technical issue, probably on the side of Tumblr’s desktop/computer version. Still annoying, but at least I know it’s working on mobile. ****

“...so I was just chillin’ there in my paraglider, right? But then all of a sudden I see this giant-ass Seagull coming up towards me from the right, and apparently the stupid thing didn’t have the common sense to just stop flying forwards…or it just had terrible reflexes…or it didn’t care…but whatever, the dumbass Seagull ended up crashing straight into me, and then it shat itself and went tumbling into the ocean. Don’t worry, though, none of the poop got on me. But yeah, anyway…”

Just as you had done before within the many, manny, many days gone by where you had enough time and energy to hang out with him, D-Side BF had been contentedly jabbering on to you about his wild, assorted misadventures, everything from going caving, to visiting a volcano, to attending various conventions, whilst the two of you casually strolled along the city sidewalks on the way to your chosen destination. Attempting, yet failing, to hold in a rather powerful bout of undoubtedly immature laughter after hearing about the Seagull’s reaction to the mid-air collision, you eventually eventually managed to gesture towards D-Side BF to keep going after managing to pull yourself back together, causing your chaotic, purple buddy to give a gaggling giggle himself.

Once he, too, had gotten all the funnies out of his system, D-Side BF naturally proceeded to take in a deep breath in order to proceed with his rambling, and continue on with what had happened upon that wondrous day at the beach as a result…before seemingly out of absolute nowhere, a rather abrupt, deep, growling, and gurgling noise piped up to interrupt him. At least, it appeared to be from absolutely nowhere to you. This was until, of course, D-Side BF came to a halt right there upon the rugged, filthy city sidewalk, in order to give a good poke to his middle, with a rather displeased look on his face to go with it.

“Hey! Be quiet down there!” he brazenly scolded his belly whilst giving it a second poke, causing you to give a stifled chortle once more.

“...as I was saying, I was-”

Yet another bout of growling, and one that appeared to be slightly louder than the bout before, at that, promptly forced its owner to quiet down yet again, before aggressively striking the organ with his finger one more time.

“Hey! I said shut up down there! The candy store’s just a few more crosswalks away! You don’t need to keep whining like that!”

D-Side BF proceeded to stay in that same, annoyed position until he was absolutely, positively sure that his tummy had gotten the message.

“...but yeah, later that day, I got to go scuba diving, and I was able to come across a group of sharks! Or like…what’s a group of sharks called? A pod? No, that’s dolphins. Maybe a school? ‘Cause they are just large fish afterall. Ah, whatever. The point is, I was swimming all among them, and then…wait.”

The following bout of lighthearted teasing that resulted from this single verbal mistake would, indeed, continue on until you and D-Side BF had finally reached the candy store doors, at which point you were forced to calm down in order to not get kicked out of the establishment, much to your friend’s great relief.

****

The instant that those candy store doors swung open, and you and D-Side BF stepped inside, things went just about how the old metaphor implies, even though one would be forgiven from thinking that you and D-Side BF were kids from just how excentric the two of you were acting, D-Side BF in particular because of his height. Regardless, the unspoken rule was more so that you couldn’t make too many verbal distractions, something which the aforementioned teasing would’ve crossed the line of, rather than just be pretty jittery. This, plus the fact that the two of you did indeed have money meant that you and D-Side BF were still able to snag up your candy from the shelves without much issue to speak of.

The candy store in question was named “Confetti Candy Carnival”, and had gone with the more bright and colorful, kid-attracting theme, rather than a more old-timey nostalgia based theme for a more generalized audience. (Another reason one could think you two were kids). This choice was because the store was near a large apartment complex, where naturally, a great number of small children lived. With vibrant pink and purple stripes lining the walls, displays such as a giant plastic gummy bear holding a bowl full of gummy bear packages (even though that’s a little messed up upon deeper thought), and happy, upbeat music playing overhead, you and D-Side BF swiftly filled up your arms with everything from peanut butter cups to sour gummies; glow-in-the-dark jelly beans to soda-flavored gum; chocolate-caramel cubes to peppermint disks; and black licorice ropes to flower-shaped lollipops.

When the two of you had finally rung up all your stuff, promising the cashier you would space out all the treats as well as you could, the doors were once again flung open, and the two of you at last began your trek back to D-Side BF’s place to hang out for the rest of the day.

****

Approximately five minutes into said stroll back to D-Side BF’s place, the two of you had taken note of a public city bench in the distance, and ended up deciding amongst yourselves to rest there for the moment being. This did come with a little back and forth teasing along the lines of “Sugar crash already?” and “Fat person moment.”, all with an overarching lighthearted tone, of course, whilst you sat yourself down on the left side and D-Side BF on the right (relative to the front of the bench). But ultimately, once you had gotten yourselves all settled, the both of you did have to admit that it did feel nice to just sit down and enjoy your stash for a moment, causing you to delve right back into your casual ramblings of conversation as a result. Though most of the “conversing” was to be done by D-Side BF, of course. But it wasn’t like that bothered you. Not at all! You quite enjoyed hearing what D-Side BF had to say, especially considering all the ridiculous conundrums he always got himself into, as an individual radiating the energy of a true chaotic neutral.

“So there I was, face-to-face with that buck. I was just giving him a glare saying: ‘If you even dare thrust those antlers at me, I will personally ram you into a tree and stick those antlers inside its trunk, and then you’ll be easy pickings for any random lucky lone wolf or something’-wait a second does that lollipop actually have the power to shrink people, or is it that just a marketing thing?”

The lollipop in sudden question was one of the flower-shaped lollipops you had picked up at the store. This particular pop was called the “Shrinking Violet”, and possessed a grape soda flavor. It also purported to have the ability to shrink those who consumed it, a claim which was rather perplexing to D-Side BF.

“I mean I know that if you’re clever enough about it, you can get away with some pretty ridiculous shit when it comes to marketing, but…something like that?”

To D-Side BF’s bewilderment, you could only give a friendly shrug, acknowledging your own incredulity, before hastily removing the lollipop’s wrapper, and shoving it into your mouth.

“Well, I guess the only way to find out for sure is to eat it.” D-Side BF ultimately concluded before promptly continuing on with his story about the aggressive buck.

Whilst D-Side BF went on with that, you were naturally simultaneously preoccupied with the lollipop in your mouth. The flavor was of a very sharp concentration of grape soda flavor, similar to a grape jolly rancher, except a lot more sweet. Shifting around the melting piece of candy in your mouth as it left a fine, sticky, grape-flavored stain on the right side of your tongue, you began pondering just when and how the shrinking would set in if indeed the lollipop’s package was factual. Swiftly shrugging again, as you knew that you would be given your answer soon enough, you merely continued to suck on the lollipop, allowing the rich, sugary flavor to positively melt into your taste buds as you did.

“...so eventually, I just ended up running towards the river. It wasn’t like, a particularly fast one, or a particularly wide one, but it was just fast enough and just wide enough to deter the buck from going across, whilst I could swim through it no problem. And so, I ended up escaping after all. Even though I did get all wet.”

Concluding the buck story with a nice and poignant “Yeah, fuck that buck. Hey, that rhymed!”, D-Side BF was finally able to notice that you had taken the lollipop stick out of your mouth by this point, promptly continuing to watch as you successfully tossed the thing into the trashcan next to your side of the bench before taking a glance down at the wrapper which was still present in your hands.

“So…feel anything different yet?”

You were just about to reply with a slightly disappointed “Well, no, not yet…” before all of a sudden, it happened.

Neither you nor D-Side BF could scarcely believe the accuracy of what your own senses were telling you as the shrinking process finally began, right before your two sets of working eyes; but, suffice it to say, that it took quite a while for the both of you to regain your bearings after such an unexpectedly astounding surprise, not just so you could process the shock, but also so you could process your exhilaration.

“...no…fucking…way…” D-Side BF decided to break the silence at last, whilst slowly lowering his left hand down towards your shrunken form. You, now at the size of a peppermint, swiftly clamored into the center of the palm, and off of the lollipop wrapping which you had previously been holding as such. D-Side BF proceeded to lift you up in his left hand, whilst reaching over for the wrapper with his right. Once he had finally brought both hands up to eye-level, he had finally pulled himself back together to the point where he could formulate full sentences again.

“I guess the package really wasn’t lying! Huh!” he managed to conclude to himself, before picking himself up off the bench in order to make his way over to the trash can and throw the now unneeded wrapper away.

“Welp! I guess this means you’re getting a free ride all the way home!” D-Side BF at last deduced whilst gathering up the candy stash into the bags in order to carry them all in his right hand. “Lucky.” he lightheartedly added on a tease at the end.

And with that, D-Side BF was just about to place your tiny form upon his shoulder where you could ride upon his giant body more comfortably, and also so he could use both hands to carry the candy bags, before, in yet another display of outside forces activating the both of your jolting, immediate, instinctive, and primal instincts to freeze in paralyzing shock, sending a horrid jolt of terror down both of your petrified spines.

Once the eardrum-bursting boom of the thunder had rolled its way off into the endlessness of the rapidly darkening sky, and the both of you were once again able to properly think and function, D-Side BF glances up towards the graying azure, observing as a result the briskness at which the storm clouds were gathering. It would then only take a couple more seconds, before the reality fully set in.

“We…” he shakily stuttered, his mind still considerably scrambled from the recent chilling panic. “We-We need to get you somewhere safe. The rain’ll be a lot more dangerous for someone your size, and I…I’m not taking any chances…” he allowed his lightly quivering voice to trail off.

“But where…” he eventually continued on, glancing down at your form with a soft and worried gaze. “Where do I-”

And then, a significantly more tame, yet undeniably recognized noise emulated out from D-Side BF’s midsection.

And yet, this time, it was no unwelcome sound by a longshot, and the gears in D-Side BF’s head, as well as yours, promptly began turning.

“D-do you think…” D-Side BF begins sheepishly suggesting after a good, long moment of thinking. “Do you think you’d be…comfortable? Um…in there?”

You could not have given a quicker, more affirmative, yet more understanding cry of “Of course!” if you tried. Upon hearing this response in such a manner, D-Side BF appeared to subconsciously blush from all of the much-needed, friendly affection for a second, considering the horrific startle the two of you had just experienced together, before immediately snapping back into conscious thought barely an instant later, giving his now slightly embarrassed body a light shake, whilst reminding himself just why he needed to do this in the first place.

Upon said reminder, then, D-Side BF recognized that it would be best to get you down there as soon as was possible for the both of you. Thus, he hastily raised up his hand to his mouth, gave a slight head cock over to you to confirm you were going to be okay, before, upon receiving yet another affirmative answer, taking in and out a deep breath, and finally unveiling his maw.

A few goopy tendrils of saliva promptly break apart as the squishy, pink maw of D-Side BF lies open and gaping before you, his smoothened, slimy tongue extending outwards in order to bridge the gap between his palm and the inside of his warm maw. Quickly shuffling on your hands and knees up and along the bridge of the tongue, before breaching the natural barrier of D-Side BF’s lips, (being mindful of his sharp teeth as you do), the dramatic difference in temperature proceeds to strike your skin almost immediately. The warm, cozy atmosphere of the air up against the cold, and now, considerably windy, storm-brewing outside world is what cues you to scramble all the way inside and onto the middle of the tongue so that D-Side BF would be able to close his maw.

Hastily shifting some of the bags in his right hand to his left, before beginning to walk once more, so the two of you would be able to get back to his place faster, D-Side BF then raises up the roof of his mouth so you on the inside wouldn’t feel as cramped, before lifting his salivating tongue up just slightly so he could gently slide you on down towards his gullet.

You, upon realizing that D-Side BF is indeed considerably anxious to get you down to his stomach, so he could be absolutely, positively sure you were safe, swiftly squish yourself down and gently nuzzle your cheek upon the sleek surface of his tongue in appreciation of his loving concern. Wrapping your arms all around the pink muscle before carefully squeezing it tight, you only hold this state for just long enough so that D-Side BF could understand the message you were trying to send, quickly unraveling yourself from the muscle after the moment had passed, and finally allowing the law of gravity to aid you on your journey as you cautiously slid your way down D-Side BF’s slippery tongue, down past his plump, dangling uvula, and into his gullet as such.

D-Side BF wastes absolutely zero time before lifting up his chin just slightly, and gently gulping you down. For you on the inside, as your head was practically shoved right inside of the upper esophageal sphincter, you were able to see D-Side BF’s epiglottis covering up the entrance to his windpipe, as the powerful muscles of said sphincter immediately squeezed you down into his purple esophagus.

A few seconds after, as he is able to feel the slight bulge squelching its way down his throat, D-Side BF heaves out a hefty sigh, knowing that now, he had done all that he could, and that it was time for his body to handle the rest.

Meanwhile, back on the inside of the relatively gigantic man, the constant, soothing, almost massage-like motions of peristalsis consistently compressed the smooth, cushiony esophageal walls up against your body, before shoving you forwards through its muscular tube, releasing the walls’ hold for a moment, and finally, starting all over again. With such rhythmic bodily contractions, it wouldn’t be very long before you had disappeared behind D-Side BF’s collarbone, leaving you able as such, to faintly pick up the pounding of his heartbeat, something which would only grow louder and louder as time marched on and you were shoved deeper and deeper into your giant friend’s body.

Eventually, after quite some time of being squeezed and squelched through the natural, tight, heated tunnel, you were able to gain sight of the lower esophageal sphincter, leaving you fated to be shoved out into D-Side BF’s stomach by the powerful shove of the natural valve as such, before subsequently splash landing into the harmless liquids within.

Swiftly sitting up inside the tummy before giving your body a slight dog-like shake and shuffling on over to the stomach wall in order to lay yourself up against it, you casually squish yourself into, before subsequently nuzzling against the cushiony muscle, softly exhaling a sigh of relief and contentment. Listening in pure and peaceful bliss to the ambient gurgling and groaning reverberating around inside the smooth, purple stomach, the constant light shifting and churning of the walls cause the waters around you, as well as you yourself to an extent, to shift slosh about just slightly, within the growling chamber of D-Side BF’s stomach.

Accompanying your head-nuzzling with a bit of hand-rubbing as well, you were able as a result to give D-Side BF a definitive message letting him know you were not only safe, but cheerful and comfortable, as well.

Now that he on the outside didn’t have to worry about his little friend being endangered by the rain anymore, or about him getting embarrassed by his blushing, D-Side BF subsequently allowed his cheeks to fully flush, his midsection pleasantly tingling from the gentle internal rubbing as he casually trodding along the darkening streets of the city.

D-Side BF wished deeply to return the loving gesture, and yet, with both of his hands occupied by the bag, and with the weather very very quickly turning bad, thereby forcing him to be in a hurry to get back to his place before the rain began, he just simply couldn’t.

Nonetheless, the simple, yet so deeply touching wondrousness of the internal rubbing did quite a lot in helping D-Side BF calm down, despite the fact he was in a rush to get home, and despite the trembling scare he had gotten back from the thunder. D-Side BF knew that his little friend was safe, and he also knew that his little friend was currently returning the gesture of said safety. This, to D-Side BF, within that very moment, was all that he needed to know.

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