#are his shoes this gray? or were they lighter. were they darker. more warm or cool toned

[thedevotionaltour]

do u ever feel like a little insane seeing yourself trying to make something from memory knowing it's something you can't really see again and don't have a picture of so it just feels very. hm. heart wrenching perhaps.

[infjsnightmare]

How You Met: Port Mafia Style

Before I start, thank you @jadegreenimmortality for sharing and liking my first one! It gave me the confidence to actually write this one! 💕 This is similar to the How You Met: ADA Style, except this one has spoilers via Gin's and a TW for human trafficking and blood via Aku's, so not as fluffy as before either. Those are the first two under the read more, so if you don't want to see spoilers or read about above mentioned TW, then please skip them. Characters like Ace, Oda, and Ango will be included in a later edition of this series. With that out if the way, here you go!

Gin: You were taking a back alley home to avoid the usual foot traffic around lunch time. You saw a small-framed man walking opposite you in the darkened street, his lower face covered in bandages with a black cloak wrapped around himself. You clutched your bag tightly and moved to give more space between you as you bumped into a dumpster. Locking eyes, you bolted for the corner. After a few minutes, you felt safely alone, relaxing until you heard the quick pitter-patter of footsteps. You turned to see the most beautiful woman dressed in a gray shirt and slacks, face red as if she'd been hurrying, her long hair messy and framing her face. In her hand you saw your wallet.

"I saw you running from someone back there and I think you dropped this."

Ryunosuke: The ocean breeze felt nice against your skin as you sat up against the warehouse by the docks. You were in the middle of unwrapping your lunch when you felt multiple hands grab at you, yanking out your earphones. A hand covered your mouth as you heard foreign words being exchanged among the traffickers. Tears filled your eyes wetting your face until you felt warm liquid covering your arms. The traffickers lay dead before you as a man whose face you'd seen many times on wanted posters walked rigidly towards you, his black trench coat fanning outwards in the wind.

"They were conducting business on Port Mafia grounds. Speak nothing of what you've seen here, understood?"

Chuuya: Sighing, you pushed open the door to dimly lit nightclub while the sound of jazz filled your ears. You were tired from work and needed a drink to help unwind. You skimmed the bar and sat yourself on a barstool next to a short red-head who was lazily swirling red wine in his glass. You stared at the menu bewildered by all the options while the bartender eyed you expectantly. Your brows furrowed, unsure of what to order until the man next you straightened up in his seat looking at you with piercing blue eyes.

"They'll have a glass of 2009 Vega Sicilia Unico. Put it on my tab."

Hirotsu: You were silently admiring the many different pieces at the latest art exhibit to come to town. The well lit gallery looked like perfection in your eyes. The droves of people coming and going couldn't even detract from its beauty. You came across a lonely corner of the exhibit and sat on a bench to observe the painting before you. The darker colors had muddled into the lighter pastels as if to taint them. You pondered various interpretations of the piece as an older gentleman took a seat next to you, eyes appraising the painting.

"As with all things in this world, light becomes tainted with darkness. You must have a keen eye to enjoy a piece like this."

Tachihara: The sun was shining, there was a light breeze and the trees provided just enough shade. It was the perfect atmosphere for your afternoon jog. You laced up your shoes and were off on your merry way. As you were jogging you noticed a young man with ruddy red hair run ahead of you. Trying to remain inconspicuous, you upped your pace to pull ahead of him. That was until he easily began running faster. After a few minutes of back and forth you had both broken into a full on sprint until you reached the end of the trail you were on, with him reaching the end just before you. You wiped your brow and looked up seeing the cheesiest grin.

"Best two out of three?"

Mori: You were honestly too old to be running around in the park and climbing on the playground equipment, but it was a quiet time where there were no children around. This was probably the only chance you were going to get to relive your youth. You felt the familiar rush of excitement as you climbed up the large set and jumped, grasping for the handle of a monkey bar. Only you didn't grasp it. You fell to the ground, bracing the full weight of your body on one forearm, hearing a loud "pop". Your shoulder was in excruciating pain and you could feel the heat building as it began to swell. You felt a gentle hand firmly holding your body still as a man with long dark hair and tired eyes examined you. He placed his other hand towards your injured shoulder, looking you in the eyes.

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor. But, this is going to hurt."

Higuchi: Your friend had been helping to push you along the trails, since the uneven ground was sometimes difficult to navigate alone in your wheelchair. But, lunch had finally caught up with your friend and they needed to make an emergency pit stop to the restroom. They engaged the brakes because of the incline and headed off to do their business. You were enjoying the chirping of the birds and the Ray's of sunlight streaming between the trees. Until your brakes broke. You felt your stomach sink as you rolled backwards, unable to see where you were going. You were about to use your hands to stop yourself when the chair stopped and began moving forward. You looked up to see a soft-featured blonde woman with her brows knit with worry.

"Are you alright? That could have been a nasty spill."

Kouyou: When you found the clearing in the forest, it felt like heaven. Your own personal sanctuary. You'd been coming here to practice guitar for a while now. Softly, you began adding in vocals as the breeze carried your voice away. The music entered your eardrums and you slowly lost yourself in it. So much so, that you didn't even notice the light and swift footsteps that began dancing as you played. That is until a flash of pink blurred your vision. You stopped playing to see an angelic woman twirling about and glancing at you with her cherry eyes. Her giggle twinkled like chimes.

"Please, do go on. It sounded lovely."

Kajii: The stars in the sky were absolutely gorgeous tonight. Winding down with a beer after the festival, you sat down on the soft grass at the bank of the river. You had hoped to see more of the fireworks, but it was so crowded, you could barely have seen in a foot in front of you. You then spotted bright, colorful lights not far off down the river from where you sat. Your curiosity got the better of you as you wandered down to where you saw a man with goggles and a lab coat furiously arranging various powders. He lit the first one, creating a small firework. The sound of your shoes kicking up some pebbles in the ground caught his attention. He grinned maniacally as he met eyes with you.

"You're going to want to stand back. This next one should be huge."

[gerbiloftriumph]

So you wanna be a king (pt3)

or maybe you just wanna cosplay one.

Continuing the cosplay semi-tutorial-semi-rambling for those who love one smol bean and wish to dress as him for funsies:

Part 3: Trousers and Boots

Okay, so, at this point you’ve probably spent at least $150, and at least enough hours to watch every Game Grumps King’s Quest LP (that's three and a quarter full games) three times. Likely more. 

It’s time to pull out your screencaps again, to remind yourself why we’re here. 

(it’s for this cute face, with all his determination and compassion and bravery and intelligence. That’s why.)

You’ve got a jerkin (pt 2) and a cloak (pt 1) but it’s indecent to walk around without anything waist down, so let’s a’stitch some trousers. And also some boots while we’re at it. 

Trousers!

When I was at the Renfest, someone asked me where I got my neat blue riding pants. Well, for starters......they’re yoga pants. And also, Goodwill. Have you noticed a trend with me yet. 

This knobbly-kneed lad is definitely not pulling a Men In Tights routine--there’s too much definition and stiffness in the wrinkles. I decided on sweatpants, though, because why not? May as well be comfy. (The more accurate fabric choice would probably be like, a khaki material, but, nah). I selected two separate pairs in the colors I wanted.

Because this costume isn’t warm enough, I attached the lighter pair over the darker rather than Frankenstein-sew two chopped parts together. It’s kind of like wearing pants and a half. Because I’m the monster. And also I was concerned that long-term wear would weaken the stitching if I pulled a Frankenstein, and this costume has been time consuming enough without risking it falling apart on me. 

What that means is this: I put on the darker pair, measured about how wide it looked Graham’s pants were vs on me, turned the lighter pair inside out so I could mark the width on them, and cut out a long and bizarre looking rectangle from the inner section of the light pair. 

The reason why we cosplay is to get into our favorite character’s pant--no, I’m sorry, the joke’s too bad, I’ll see myself out. 

I selected three inches wide on either side of the inner pant hem, so six inches wide in total, from ankle to ankle. This does mean there’s more fabric around the ankle since they naturally slim down, but the boot covers that. Since the lighter pair had an elastic stretchy cuff, I left that intact so the pants wouldn’t bunch up when walking. 

Immediately after cutting out the light pair, I ran it through my sewing machine with that herringbone stitch (the zigzag triangles) to “seal” the fabric edge and prevent fraying. It gives it kind of a bubbly textured look if you look closely, but if you’re not about that life, you could cut out an extra inch and hem it back for a straight clean line. 

I then carefully lined up all the hemlines, light to dark, pinning as flat and evenly as possible. Then, hand sewing. Bane of my novice cosplay life. 

First I stitched hemline to hemline so it would be precisely centered, then again along the edges of the light fabric. So I sewed this thing by hand three times, paying special attention to the area where the legs intersect since that’s where the most friction from walking and picking up inventory items and the like will wear. Just sew along existing hemlines. It can be sloppy; no one will ever see your stitches--unless you turn it inside out to make a semi-tutorial for strangers on the internet, and then they’ll laugh at you.

If you feel fancy, you can add the thick patches on Graham’s trousers. I didn’t bother at the time because it felt like a bit much, but I do really like those patches. Maybe someday. 

Also, you should probably handwash this piece too. Unless you trust your sloppy stitches more than I trust mine. 

Boots!

I’ma tell you a secret: my absolute favorite part of all of Graham’s outfit is the boots. I love them. I want a real pair. Like, with actual metal bits, not cheap eBay boots and shoe goo and hope. The boots are at least a quarter of the reason why I made this costume in the first place. 

And yet, the boots were the last thing I made, more than a year after completing the rest of the costume. I wore shin-high lace up boots in the meantime, and it was fine, but knee length is truly the ideal silhouette against your cloak. It does make a difference.

I’ve made boot covers before (Lynne, Ghost Trick, bright red), and it’s fine, but it’s also frustrating. I highkey recommend just modifying a regular boot. There are lots of gorgeous, expensive options out there, but in the end I settled for a bootleg boot from China (you know, the ones that are “fashion” but which all use the same stock image and are fake mimics for a fraction of the cost on eBay) for a grand total of...$25.00, with shipping. Ye boi.

According to the receipt this boot is an.....”American Rag Ada Round Toe Synthetic Over the Knee Boot.” Cool, deffo bootleg. 

Another secret: I put gel inserts in both the toe and the heel, I wear gel-ankle socks over my regular socks, and I stuff the heels with leftover plushie-making cotton fluff. Because bootleg boots are cheap and blistery, and comic con floors are hard enough even with a nice sturdy pair of shoes, so seek every advantage you can. More cotton fluff. More! Stuff it in there! And also wear your favorite patterned socks, because it’s my tutorial and I said so. 

Okay, back to the store. Get the following things: a small amount of stretchy black fabric, a small amount of gray fabric, a sheet or two of craft foam, a tube of shoe goo, and popsicle sticks or some other way to “paint” the goo. Also an audiobook to help pass the time. (can you believe no one’s recorded the King’s Quest novels into an audiobook form, how tragic.)

Using some of the boundless scrap you have from the rest of this cosplay, determine how wide you want the black pieces to be, and maybe the gray while you’re at it. That fully depends on your boot. 

Cut out your black for the front and back pieces. They won’t be pure rectangles, but have a trapezoid curve to them to mimic the shoe curve. Pin and hem.

Apply shoe goo around the whole section of the boot you’re covering, as flat and even as possible, and stretch, apply, and pin your black fabric into place. Do little detail work with the popsicle sticks, and once it’s all pinned, leave to dry for a while. Ideally, overnight, so the glue can set. 

Go play King’s Quest again or something while you’re waiting. It’s not like you have anything else to do, right?

This boot happened to already have a buckle on the back which I wrapped in gray fabric to mimic the silver on Graham’s heels--your boot probably doesn’t have this, so use this following method instead.

To get the silver cuffs, I cut out foam (you might have to look around for foam in a good thickness, or glue multiple sheets together--mine is, uh....the thick foam my bose headphones came in.....), and glued fabric over it. Then I glued the foam/fabric curve to the shoe, pinned it in place, and walked away again. I sure hope you like your audiobook. There’s a lot of downtime here. 

This method works for the anklets too. Wrap foam entirely in black fabric. Hilariously, since it’s foam, I didn’t have any trouble pushing it through my sewing machine to add the gray on top of the black. Another secret: my anklets connect via elastic, so I can get the boots on while still having a snug anklet. No, it probably doesn’t look great if you’re walking right behind me, but there’s that 5 foot rule of cosplay that means no one should see it, and who’s staring at my heels anyway, that’s weird. 

Cut thin regular plain sheet foam in the right size to fit over your toe. To achieve the curve, cut out little notches (you can just see a discarded notch in the included picture), then glue the edges together again sans notch. Bam, curve. Cover in fabric, glue to the toes of the boots like everything else, pin, and wait until dry (yes, overnight again--I did tell you about the audiobook). 

And that’s that! (At least, for me: I have not done the laces on the front, or cut out the knee guard, or anything that requires actual intensive boot modification because I was in a hurry to go meet Christopher Lloyd and on a deadline and forgot to come back to it. No, for reals. Comic cons are magic places.) It’s held up for two full years at cons and renfests and even in a light rain without trouble, tho I do need to touch up some of the edges a bit. 

Put the whole thing together: jerkin, cloak, cowl, trousers, boots. You’re looking fiiiine. All the cool cats are jealous of your sweet new kicks.

And with that, all the giant heavy pieces of your cosplay are done! It’s just accessories and details left. And the adventuring cap, one might argue the most important piece of all. But we’ll get there. Probably. As long as this is helping someone. 

[smokeandtrouble-blog]

Revenge

Michael’s shady business dealings catch up with Y/N

The rain was heavy and loud.  It made the long walk from work seem even longer, and the evening feel darker.  The sun hadn’t set, but it was nowhere to be seen in the grey sky.

You dodged the puddles as best you could, basically running down the streets, but you were still soaked by the time you got to your door.  Strands of hair stuck to your face as you fumbled for the keys before at last shoving the old slab of wood open.  The stairwell was damp as always, and you were sure you were adding to the puddles.

Your shoes clicked against the concrete stairs all the way to the top floor and to your own front door.  With a creak, you were inside.  The tiny hallway was dark and cold; not much different from outside now that you were soaked to the bone anyway.

You shrugged off your coat, hanging it by the door.  Michael was meant to be coming over soon, but you weren’t ready at all.  On top of looking like a drowned rat you had finished work later than usual, and now barely had time to wash and change before he arrived.

First, though, you’d put on the fire.  Michael always complained that your flat was freezing, and you had to agree with him.  Of course, you’d never give him the satisfaction of knowing that; you’d defend your leaky, drafty flat to the end.

A loud creak from the kitchen send the hairs on the back of your neck straight up.  Despite only living a few minutes from the betting shop in the heart of Shelby territory you were still constantly a little on edge.  Michael promised he would keep you safe, and you trusted him; but the fact that he had to reassure you so much in the first place made you think that things were a lot more dangerous than he let on.

However, you lived in a run-down building, where near enough every plank of wood creaked on its own.  You had nothing to worry about.

You untied your squelching shoes and kicked them by the door, before making your way to the kitchen.  You wished you had enough time to cook Michael a proper meal as wives did for their husbands, but with your working hours and budget that wasn’t going to happen.  There were leftovers from yesterday’s dinner that could be heated up though, a nice stew that Michael would wolf down no doubt.

You thought back to one of your first dates when Michael had taken you out for dinner.  The restaurant was one of the nicer ones, but to you felt like eating in Buckingham Palace.  You had worn your nicest dress and still felt underdressed.  Michael, of course, looked every inch the gentleman in his suit and acted the part too.  He pulled out your chair and ordered the wine but he still ate his dinner as if someone might swipe it from him any second.  

‘I’ve never seen anyone eat so fast,’ you said, nodding at his plate which was almost clear.  You still had almost half of yours left.

He smiled and swallowed thickly.  'Sorry, it’s a bad habit I can’t grow out of.’

You smiled warmly back, and he told you about when he was younger, that if he didn’t eat fast he didn’t eat much at all.  He talked himself as you finished your own meal, hanging onto every word he said.

After spending an hour with him just talking you were smitten, completely forgetting about the fancy place you were in and instead counting yourself lucky that he had wanted to see you again.

You hummed an unknown tune as you lit the tiny stove and poured the stew into a pot to warm up.  It may not be a fancy meal, but you were sure it would be perfect to warm Michael up when he got in from the rain as you had.

Speaking of which, you were still damp yourself, and getting colder by the minute.  You turned to go to your bedroom, but stopped dead in the hallway.  You heart lunged into your throat.

A man was standing at your front door, a gun hanging in his hand.

'Who are you?’ you squeaked.  A thousand thoughts raced through your mind.  What did Michael say to do in a situation like this?  The gun he had given you was in your room; there was no way you could get it.  Your eyes darted around you, looking for something that resembled a weapon, something that could give you a way out, but there was nothing.

'Y/N Y/L/N,’ the man gruffed.  His hands were shaking as he lifted the gun up to point at your chest.  'That bastard Gray will pay for what he’s done.’

'Please,’ you whispered, trying to catch your breath.

He straightened his arms and looked into your pleading eyes for a moment.  For a second you thought you saw regret in those dark blue eyes, but that thought was smashed by the bang of a gunshot and pain burning through you as you collapsed to the floor

Michael was in a bad mood.  Everything that could go wrong seemed to have gone wrong for him today; spilling his coffee, losing papers and having to work extra to make up for it, getting his meetings mixed up.  However, as he pulled his coat on and walked out of the office he could feel his mood lifting.  The dreary day was finally over, and he would be seeing you soon.  

As he made his way through Birmingham’s dark streets his steps got lighter and lighter, despite the rain that was starting again.  All the stress from his hellish day at the office was receding further with each second, and as he rounded the corner onto your street he was almost smiling to himself.

Then he saw the commotion at your doorway.  A woman crying and pointing at your building while some men ran in while others called for a doctor.  Immediately a sickening feeling stabbed at his gut.

Michael had never ran so fast in his life.  Dirty puddles splashed up his legs and the rain fell into his eyes but he didn’t slow down.  He shoved people out of his way, ran onto the road leaving the cars to dodge him.  The crying woman wailed you name to him as he slammed the building door open and leaped up the stairs.  His heavy breathing seemed to reverberate off the walls, while his heart thundered in his chest.  He cursed every step that tripped him up, every drop of water that he slipped on until he reached the last one and bounded into your flat.

Instantly, his chest felt tight and he could barely catch his breath.  There were people huddled around your hall, shouting and talking at each other.  

'Y/N!’ he yelled, grabbing their shoulders and pushing past them to find you.  When they realised he was there they parted, except for one man who was kneeling down beside you and barking orders.  Michael’s vision clouded with tears when he saw you lying there, barely conscious, blood staining your blouse.

He fell to the floor beside you, grabbing your hand in his while his other rubbed your cheek, wiping some of the tears that had leaked down it.

‘Y/N, it’s going to be okay. The doctor’s coming, love,’ he said shakily.  At the sound of his voice you opened your heavy eyes wider and focused on him.

‘Mikey, it hurts so badly,’ you gasped.  The other man beside you put more pressure on the wound to stem the every increasing blood pumping out of you.

Michael squeezed your hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it gently.  ‘I know baby, but just hold on a little longer and you’ll be fine.  I’ll be here with you.’  You tried to nod but your eyes started to drop.  ‘No, no, no!  You’ve just got to stay awake for a little bit more, please love.’  He shook your cold hand to grab your attention.  

‘I’m so tired, Mike,’ you whispered, but you did as he said.  When your eyes finally focused on him again you could see his nose was pink, and his cheeks wet.  It broke your heart to see him like that, and all you wanted to do was pull him close, kiss his soft lips and tell him not to worry, but you couldn’t.

‘I love you, Y/N, and you love me, so you’ve got to hang on.  Please, please,’ he cried.  He lowered his forehead to yours and kissed your tingling nose.

You awoke with little memory after that.  You remembered faintly driving to the hospital, gripping Michael’s hand as hard as you could while he reassured you nonstop.  You had no recollection of being wheeled into surgery, of Michael shouting your name as he let the doctors take over.

Your hand twitched as your eyes opened, and Michael’s instantly squeezed back.  

‘Oh thank fuck, Y/N,’ he sniffed.  

[hungergames-fanfic]

An eventful Monday

The 40th Annual Hunger Games started yesterday morning, a Sunday. Today during class, like every year, we don’t have to watch but I’m dying in curiosity. Ms. Gullard has placed a towel over the hanging television up on the wall corner and has made us write down verbs. She’s also lowered the volume to mute and because the towel is thick enough, I can only see vague shadows on the tv.

Next to me, Wendy sends notes to two of her friends, Cassidy and Orchid. I’m guessing they’re talking about the games and I want to almost ask them but I just know they’ll avoid the question and hurt my feelings. It’s all they’re good at.

During lunch, Efrain and I sit by ourselves as usual and eat. He mentions watching the games but refuses to tell me about it. Says that if I was allowed to watch he’d tell me. Also says that he got a good talking about it.

“Momma gave me a good bitchin’ bout talkin’ bout it at ya house. Said that if I make Ms. Bilmin cry I ain’t gon see the light of day”, he widens his eyes and shakes his head. He stuffs his mouth with peaches from his school lunch.

Since I met Efrain, he hasn’t changed that much except he looks a lot more healthy now. I guess his daddy working at Mr. Kwan’s stables brings in good money and puts food on the table. He’s still thin, but doesn’t look as bony as he used to.

He’s a little bit darker than I am and his hair is curlier than mines. My curls are big and wavy, his are small and abundant sitting at the top of his head. He says his oldest brother Eduardo cuts his hair. Trims the back and sides and leaves it longer at the top. I really like it and sometimes wish I could cut my hair too. Mines is so long sometimes I sit on it.

After school, we go to my house and eat what momma Bilmin has made for us. It’s vegetable and egg fried rice with cooked slices of pork ham. Because Efrain is here, she’s not crying as much as she normally does around this time of year, still her eyes are red and her nose is pink.

Momma Bilmin is so pretty. She ain’t as wrinkly as all the other old people. Her graying hair is long and straight and she’s thin, always wearing pretty yellow dresses. I love the color yellow, it’s the color of sunshine and sunflowers. The color makes me feel happy and warm, just like the sun. She fills our glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice and reminds us to do our homework after we’re done eating.

“That’s a pretty ring, Ms. Bilmin”, Efrain says to her.

On her right hand, on her middle finger she has a gold ring of a horse shoe with small stones on it, inside of it is a horse on its side. She told me it used to be uncle Amos’s but it’s hers now. Momma Bilmin smiles and puckers her lips. Her eyes get watery and she stares at me giving me a painful smile. Without a word, she takes a deep breath and walks out the room. We can hear he sandals make noise as she walks away.

“What did I say?”, Efrain asks me.

“Momma tends to be fragile around this time of year”, I inform him.

While we do our homework outside, sitting under a small tent daddy made for me when I was younger, Efrain tries to call Brownie over to him. She ignores him but her calf, now full grown, runs to us like a big happy dog.

“Daddy made this tent for me so I could spend time outside with him while he worked on the ranch”, I say picking lint off a corner. He pets the cow and it runs off.

“Ya daddy so strict and scary”, Efrain admits.

“No doubt, but I can tell he loves me cause he always wanna spend time together”, I add, “he always wants me to work outside with him, or go to places with him and on the lazy days, he likes to sit in the livin’ room while I read books. He snores really loud and it’s hard to concentrate but I enjoy his company too”.

“My daddy is always workin’, momma‘s sick so she stays home. My big brother Eduardo is always workin’ too, he brings home tessera every now and then”, Efrain says.

“What’s that like?”, I ask wondering what tessera is.

“Well it gets lonely cause it’s usually Felix and me but he acts like he’s too old and cool to hang out”, Efrain says closing his science book.

I don’t correct him and accept the answer. Soon the conversation changes to what he does for fun, which is pretty much what Ignacio said on our birthday. He plays outside with the neighborhood kids but cause it’s hunger games month he watches the games. This calls for my curiosity again.

“What are the games like this year?”, I whisper. I know that every year the games are different and set in different arenas. In fact, one time, on tv I saw that one of the arenas was all tall grasslands and a couple of trees. Everyone was stuck sneaking around.

“It’s swampy”, he says. “A lot of scary animals. So far a boy ran into a body of water and got eaten by a big lizard”, he widens his eyes and nods. This scares me.

“Ain’t the games start yesterday?”, I ask. I’d expect for them to just roam around the place at random and only be killed off by other tributes, I didn’t know that the arena was meant to kill you too.

“That don’t matter in the games. Anything’ can kill you, be it another tribute, the arena or even yourself. Everyone usually just tries to survive the careers though”, he says packing his book in his backpack. He’s done with his homework but I still have a lot of verbs to come up with for mines.

Our conversations change a lot, we go from talking about the games to all the weird animals we’ve seen here in 10. So far I win cause I’ve seen an actual coyote pack but he was pretty close with the feral chickens. After that, we talk about the animal we wish we were, he says he wishes he was one of our cows cause they look like they have it good. We laugh at this. I’m not sure what animal I wish I was, but right now, I think it would be cool to be a bird so I could fly.

“More like a wild chicken”, he jokes and makes a chicken call. This riles up the chickens in the coop and we laugh harder than before.

When his daddy comes to pick him up, mines tells me to go change and that I’ll be going to Efrain’s for a bit while he and Mr. Oxoro go do some errands. In my room, while I put on my shoes, daddy comes in and sits next to me on the bed.

“I know they watch the games at your friends house. I’m allowin’ you to watch them, but when you come back, there will be absolutely no talk about you saw, you understand me?”, he looks at me and points firmly. I nod in agreement. This excites me more than going to Bloques, but I keep the emotion to myself.

We follow Mr. Oxoro’s raggedy car in our wagon and soon, we enter Bloques. I’m not sure what it was that I expected, but it was nothing like this.

The streets are dirty and there’s trash on the corner of roads. It smells like pee and I’m sure the stains on building walls are exactly that. The houses are small squares and made of cement but some have been painted and given personality by their owners. Other houses look like mines but they’re half the size. Some people sit outside theirs and stare at us, kids playing around stop to look at our horses in awe. I see some point at them, others point at us.

“I ain’t ever seen so many houses in one spot”, I say to daddy.

“You see that red, run down house over there”, daddy points. The house looks empty and in shambles. It’s roof is caved in and the door is leaning off it’s hinge. Whoever used to live there must of had nothing if they couldn’t even fix it up.

“That’s where I used to live when I was around ya age”, he says ignoring all the people watching us. I imagine patting myself on the back for not thinking out loud.

After so many turns on so many neighborhoods and so many looks from so many people, some who I think I’ve seen at the Plaza on reapings, we finally arrive to Efrain’s. He lives in a very big gross looking building daddy calls an apartment complex. Our daddies don’t go in with us, they just wave us off and leave on the wagon without saying where they’re headed.

“We have six floors and guess what floor I live in”, Efrain says with an attitude tryna skip steps up the stairs.

“I almost don’t wanna go home no more”, I admit thinking about having to walk all the way down when we finally reach his floor’s hallway.

He laughs and knocks on the first door we reach and tells me we have to wait a little. Through the walls I can hear a baby crying and some loud music playing. Efrain says that’s his neighbors. I’m not used to the ruckus but in a way, I’m having fun just standing here.

When the door opens, a tall teenager opens the door and stares at us funny. He looks like Efrain but older. He’s skinny and just as dark, same haircut and everything except his clothes fit better.

“Where’s dad?”, he says looking at me funny.

“He and Mr. Wyetka went on an errand, this is Isa”, Efrain pats my shoulder. “Isa this is my brother Felix but we call him Fee. Can Isa call you Fee too?”, Efrain asks. Felix smiles and tilts his head swiftly inviting us into their home.

Unlike mines, his living room, dinning room and kitchen are all connected. Down a small hallways are three doors. Efrain tells me the door down the hall is the restroom in case I need it and we sit on an old green patchy, two seater sofa. Their tv ain’t flat or on the wall, it’s fat and huge and sits on a table decorated with little glass tea cups with pretty flowers drawn on them.

To our right is a big open window that leads to the fire escape, says Efrain. Here, his brother steps out and closes the window. He smiles at someone and then they peak their head to look and laugh too. It’s a blonde haired boy I’ve never seen, another teen. In his hand, he has a small stick that he lights with a lighter and sucks. I watch them smoke for a minute before Efrain points it out.

“They smoke that every day”, Efrain rolls his eyes and changes the channel where previously Dan McGee, 10’s news reporter, was talking in front a meat factory. He switches the channel to the games and looks at me with a mischievous smile.

“Daddy says it’s ok to watch, but I can’t talk about it back home”, I inform him. He nods and raises the volume up to the number twelve.

For the first twenty minutes all they show is a bunch of tributes minding their business. The careers, Efrain says they volunteer to be there and train for the “honor”, he quotes his fingers making a silly face, hang at the cornucopia talking to each other. Apparently they spotted someone and are gonna go hunt them down. This makes me feel nervous. Other tributes are shown sneaking around the swampy, muddy arena or climbing tall trees, hiding. Because nothing interesting is happening they replay the bloodbath. I am not emotionally prepared for what I’m about to see because when I do, I get so scared I start to cry.

The cannon blows and everyone runs towards the cornucopia, a boy is followed by the camera, he picks up knives and just as he does, a spear is thrown right at his stomach. This makes me jump. Efrain laughs and says “that must of hurt”. My stomach churns when I see one of the so called careers stab another boy mercilessly. The boy spits blood with every breath and weakly tries to push the career off but he dies before reaching the strength. I can’t help it. This is so scary I start crying immediately.

“What’s wrong Isa?”, Efrain asks scooting closer to me. He puts his arm around my shoulder. I look out the window and spot Felix giving him a thumbs up, one he retracts and sucks in his lips before he and his friend hide attempting to not be seen.

“They’re just killin’ one another like life ain’t mean anythin’”, I say, “like who they used to be never mattered and never will cause they gone. Just a memory to their loved ones. Momma Bilmin has a right to cry. This is horrible”.

“I never thought of it that way”, Efrain says guiltily taking his arm off of me. “Wanna do some else?”, he asks but suddenly jumps up with excitement, “wanna meet my momma? She’s been wantin’ to meet you, c’mon”, he takes my hand and pulls me into the hallway. We enter to the room on the left.

In here, the room is clean and white, colorless and almost empty. All that’s in here is a bed and a dresser. Above the bed is a big picture of her and Mr. Oxoro on their wedding day. She looks pregnant.

It smells like dampness and sickness. A scent I can’t specifically describe. At first, her eyes are closed but she turns her head to see us come in and coughs in a handkerchief. She looks like she’d be very pretty and on the picture above, she is. She’s light skinned and really pale, her lips are almost white and her hair is light blonde. It almost feels like she’s a random lady in their home because Efrain and Felix look nothing like her. They look like his daddy, who’s shorter than her, chubby and dark skinned. He has puffy hair like Olive.

She smiles at me. Efrain pushes me towards her and puts his hand on her arm.

“Momma, this Isa”, he says excitedly.

“Hello, Isa”, she says tiredly with a smile. I smile back. “Efrain’s told me a lot bout you”, she says.

“Momma”, Efrain snaps with his eyes wide open and turns to look at me with an awkward laugh. He scratches the back of his head.

“I’m sleepy baby”, she says to him before he gives her a hug and invites me to leave the room.

When we step out, he runs to the window his brother and friend are at and knocks. With his thumb he points back at me and Felix nods giving him a peace sign. Efrain takes my hand and we head down to the street.

“Where we goin’?”, I ask out of breath.

“I think everyone should be outside right now”, Efrain says skipping steps, going down faster than I.

“What you talkin’ bout?”, I scream at him but he doesn’t answer and leaves me behind.

When I run out the door after him, he’s waving at a bunch of kids playing with a deflated ball. Without skipping a beat, some run up to us. Others spot me and look at each other. They don’t bother to come.

“Why you with her?”, Edwin asks. He’s tanned with shaggy light brown hair. Skinny like most and wears clothes just as big as Efrain’s. He’s sweaty and looks mad that I’m here.

“Isa’s my friend”, Efrain snaps. “Besides, ain’t we been needin’ an extra player for Wendy’s team?”, he points at Wendy who too makes a stink face and nods. She crosses her arms and looks at me.

“She can be on your team, Edwin can join me”, she says.

“No way, she’s a girl, she’s gonna be in yours”, Edwin snaps back.

“Then I’m not playin’”, she says.

“Fine, Isa can take over for ya”, Efrain snaps at her. I stand next to him feeling bad about no one wanting to play with me, but Efrain standing up as my friend makes me feel better.

“Oh c’mon it’s just for today”, another girl says. She has loose and messy pigtails, whatever she ate has stuck to her cheeks and it looks sticky. Her clothes are stained in red and her knee caps are scabbed from having fallen recently. “I’m Wigma”, she says, “I’m the oldest one here cause I’m eleven”. I give her a shy smile.

After some back and forth, Wendy rolls her eyes and accepts me on her team. She doesn’t talk to me at all for the first thirty minutes but after I successfully kick the ball into the middle between two trashcans, where we make a goal, she smiles at me for the first time ever. By the time the game ends, Wigma scores by kicking the deflated ball at a trashcan making it fall back. The boys refuse to accept that as a score and refuse to claim we won, instead they call it a tie. Laughing at them for being in denial, Wendy smiles at me, sweaty and out of breath and high fives me.

One by one, everyone starts to leave. Wigma hugs me goodbye and Wendy just waves. Edwin avoid contact with me and a boy named Lucas just gives me a half smile. Efrain and I stay outside until the sun starts to set, we climb a fence and run around pretending we’re foxes running after feral chickens, whom I learn from they shouldn’t be trifled with.

By the time our daddies get home, they find us running back to them and jumping on top of the wagon with an angered chicken tryna fly and peck at our heads. They smell like alcohol and Mr. Oxoro laughs so hard he falls off the wagon. Daddy laughs and hiccups a burp before he asks Mr. Oxoro if he’s ok.

Waving goodbye to Efrain and Wigma who I spot looking outside the window on the second floor of the apartments, I turn to look at daddy with a big smile.

“You had fun too, daddy?”, I say listening to him chuckle to himself.

“Yep, and I see you did too”, he says pulling me closer, under his sweaty armpits, and hugs me tightly.

“Uh-hu! I did! We watched the games but it was too scary”, I admit, “I never want to watch something so horrible again!”, I snap. Not to him but at myself. I’m upset that I’ve saddened momma Bilmin so many times for wanting to watch. I understand why I’m not allowed and won’t ever ask anymore questions again. I’ve had enough!

“Why do the games exist?”, I ask daddy.

“Cause!”, daddy sings, “how else is the government gonna control us? How else can they remind us that we have no power and mean nothin’? By takin’ our children and forcin’ us to watch them kill each other, that’s how!”, he chuckles and nods. “That’s why I work my ass off! So you never have to be part of that”, he says and kisses my forehead.

“Crud”, he burps. “I think we’re lost”.

[eorzeasntm]

ENTM Tumblr Cycle 10 Round Seven Results

Hi folks!  Last week we sent our models out into some bad weather.  This round presents some unusual challenges, specifically capturing the environment and balancing dimmer lighting against the gloomy background.  

While all the models emerged from this round slightly damp (or dry if they were smart enough to get out of the rain), the model whose photo most captured the hearts and minds of our voters this round was:

Odharnait “Ona” Greene

Congratulations!  Rongi Pongi was so impressed with this picture that he said it will inspire a future round of ENTM called “Doors.”  The judges and community agreed that this shot was lovely and a fantastic use of the watercolor filter to brighten the stormy night. 

We have one more week in Tumblr Cycle 10.  In the meantime, ENTM Instagram Cycle 1 is in Week 2 and community voting will begin shortly!  Please visit our Instagram Page for more information. 

Also the October Haukke Manner challenge will be closing at 10 PM Eastern TODAY (Oct 24th) so hurry up and get your entry in for a chance to win a minion from the Mogstation.

Our judges have feedback for our models after the cut. 

Judge Kai

Adam: This is a nice shot. It looks like you're trying to outrace the coming storm and reach a safe haven before getting drenched. You did a good job with the lighting, and used the surrounding area to your advantage! It was a very smart decision to have those glowing flowers in the shot and surrounding you. I can believe that the light that is hitting you is coming from them, and that is why the area (and you) are brighter, despite the darkness that seems to be engulfing the area. There are only two things I can think to suggest. The first is I wish you were just a little closer in this image so we could see you better. Which also leads to my second. I might have gone for a slightly lighter outfit, color wise. Because the image, and the background, is so dark a lot of those black tones start to blend in with what's behind you. Overall, you did a great job!

James: First off, I don't know if you did this on purpose, but I find it very amusing and great timing that it looks as if the lightning is coming right down to touch your hand. Moving on from that, this is an image that, to me, seems to hold sadness or loss in it. It's like the rain is reminding you of something from the past, and it's very lovely is a melancholy sort of way. You definitely pop against the darker background, sticking with the blonds, white and lighter grays are helping you a lot in this image. The lighting is very good as well, but I am wondering what the source of the light is? Perhaps a lightning bolt? While the lighting is well done, it just seems a bit overlit for not having a light source in the area. I think you could have pulled back just a bit, and still gotten away with this image. Other than that, I think you did a very good job!

Ni'ko: I am going to assume, from the way that you look in this image, you're the type of cat that doesn't like to get wet. Well, I don't blame you and that doesn't look like the type of storm I would want to be hanging out in either. Overall this is a good image. The lighting is believable for the time of day. It could be a fire burning just out of view, and it's casting its light on you. I also like the outfit that you picked for a few reasons. It matches the surroundings very well and seeing that this is a darker image, your skin tone pops. The dark purple of the swimming trunks is a good pick, it stands out from the neutral earthy tones around you and gives something that draws the eye to you. The pose is a little awkward as if someone caught you in mid-run,  and you're leaving a lot up to the viewer in this instance with the story you're trying to convey but overall you did a good job!

Judge Vederah

Cowbot: There's a really great, almost ominous feeling to this screenshot. Positioning of your character to the object he's looking at is spot on and helps bring the eye across the entire image. Only issue I have is this image reads way to dark. I think if a bit more lighting was used then your character wouldn't blend into the background as much, and we'd be able to more clearly see the rain effect. That detail was almost completely lost with how dark this picture was. Ona: This is, in my opinion, the best use of a gpose filter I've seen in this entire competition. I love how the water color effect really amplifies the rain effect in the background. I also really appreciate how the cool and warm tones of this image come together in this shot.  The only thing I could think of to change is possibly a very small light used to the characters right- the only downside of the watercolor filter is it blurs a lot of the smaller details. Here it cast a very dark shadow on her scales, losing the definition in her face. Wren: This shot reminds me of the scene from the original, cartoon Snow White as she's making her way through the haunted forest.  I just love how innocent and genuinely frightened your character looks against such a foreboding backdrop.  Lighting is the only issue I have here. The background on the right portion of the screen is so dark that just reads as empty space. I think if you had upped the intensity of the lighting on that half of the image just a touch, it would've popped those details in the foreground.

Judge M’Telihgo

Nadede -  I like this.  I love how you stand out against the background.  I also like the umbral static weather effect very much.  I enjoyed playing with different settings and see how images turned out.  Have you ever done that?  It could be fun.  I do wonder what you are looking at while doing your chakra, you seem so intent on it.  I think the bright colors of your armbands and your pants pop against your pale skin.  Which leads to my only real criticism of this picture and is minor.  While your top has some color in it, I think it blends into you a little, not too much but another color may have been better.  Still, you look awesome!

Chee – I love the background.  I like dark colors and things that seem kind of spooky, and this has that for me.  I approve of the location.  For all of that, I like it very much.  Your outfit in a lighter blue makes you stand out against your very dark background and I think the colors suit you well.  There is one thing that makes it so that I cannot enjoy this picture as much as I would like to.  I’m not sure what happened, but there is a ghosting around your face as if you were caught between frames of an animation where it is starting to draw in the next one.  Sadly, that blur makes it so that looking at it for more than a moment makes my eyes water.  It’s a shame too since I really like it overall.

Lantis – Ooh.  I do like this spot for exactly this reason.  FIGHT!!  Anyway, there is a negative though when doing this at night.  Dead space.  I see where your addition of the sakura effect may have been used to try and counter this and it does help.  I also think that a little different timing of your sparring partner would really make this pop much more.  As it is right now, you are in action and your partner is looking away, at their shoes.  If you could have caught it where they are looking at you, it would definitely sell the action seen much more like they are trying to parry your blow by timing their draw.  Adventure on the high seas!  Kind of anyway.  I still give you credit for catching the lightning bolt just right, I’ve done it and I found it to be a chore.  Well done!

Judge Kusuh

Azalea: I'm a huge fan of the overall "mood" of the picture- a paladin standing in a dark storm; did they recently fail a mission? Are they brooding? Is this where the orchestra swells to give a tearful moment? As I've said before, when I'm left thinking about the possibilities behind an image, it's a good sign! This may be one of my favorite pictures from you so far. The setting, the use of the pencil filter to add more of a "rain" effect, and the overall pose show me that you've given some real thought to everything that goes into this picture. The frame choice is also something I love, but it also comes with this one small critique: when you use this frame, you are using it to trick the viewer into seeing three separate pictures in a single shot. When you have parts of yourself spilling over into the other two frames, this kills the illusion and just leaves the picture looking disjointed. My advice for a picture like this would be to play with your zoom and pose options so that you can fit yourself into a single frame! You're improving every week, I can't wait to see what comes next!

Haila: You have a wonderful sense of visual flow going on in this picture. At first glance, I can easily follow from the spark in the top left corner, down the spear, to your face, and then follow your eyes to your fingers and then off the right side of the image. The choice of color (and the limit of color) were also a smart choice here; the limited palette really adds a sense of impact. Something to think about: This is more on the side of a "high fashion" shot as opposed to a story shot. Don't get me wrong, I very much like both kinds, but one of the things I've seen many ENTM models get pointed out (myself included) is when a shot lacks a story. Your shots in the past have always been a mix of both fashion and story, and this one feels like it shoots straight to the side of fashion. Once again, this isn't really a bad thing, but it's something I want you to be aware of as you plan your final shots in the upcoming weeks. Excellent work so far!

Judge Rongi

Lily:  With this shot, I think you found a really great lighting that makes your character look gorgeous. You could crop out this whole shot and just have it on you, shoulders up, and it'd be a beautiful head shot. The shot itself fits the theme of the week, but I wish it had a little more oomph! to it. I have "Summertime Sadness" stuck in my head now thanks to you though. Haha. I would have loved to see more posing, a stronger background choice, and a clear reason for why you are standing in the rain. Rymm:  These colors are everything. Great choice in gear. I love that the backshot is 3/4 of the way so we can still see a bit of your face. I wish we could see more, but its just enough to not be a backshot dead on. I usually would be against a solid black background, but using the lightning and your outfit colors to pop out like that is amazing. Had you been wearing all black, this wouldn't have worked at all. I love the pose of both you and the lightning. It creates a really interested shape in the middle, like dancing. Ysildor: You are going to get electrocuted waving that pick around like that! I love the idea as it beckons to Thor's hammer. I wonder if you had tried or could use an hammer instead. The background has those nice buildings in it that creates a line across the image that leads the viewer straight to you. And then we follow your shape up in to the sky and back down with the lighting. Really well done composition wise. 

[redsdesktop]

Deviant Dynamics: Revolution.

Chapter 4

Masterlist

Warnings: None. Except more sadness. But like, bittersweet sadness?

Connor's first instinct was to go to Hank's house, but that was the reason why he couldn't. As a hunter himself, he knew that prey would run to the most familiar place they felt was safe. It was well know that he and Hank had bonded more than anyone else, so it would only make sense he would flee there. He wanted to know if Hank was alright, to tell the old alpha that he was alive and well. However, he couldn't risk it, he wouldn't risk Hank's life, knowing that the android who would hunt him would be ruthless. To be bested by his prey, RK900 would be hot on his heels to regain his pride as an alpha. No matter how much Connor yearned to see Hank, it was simply for the best to avoid him until he was ready.

Connor had a limited supply of friends, with Markus gone along with most of the deviants, he practically had none now. This wasn't his simulation where he'd made friends with Gavin, so the Detective would probably hand him over at first sight, if the man didn't shoot Connor himself. That left one person left that he knew, but he really didn't want to go to, it made facing RK900 again seem appealing. Kamski. The man was as untrustworthy as they came but Connor was confident enough that the creator of androids wouldn't hand him over. No, Connor was a variable that would likely make Kamski's game interesting again.

That's why Connor stood outside of Kamski's isolated home, trying not to scowl as he rang the doorbell. He could hear the elegant chime resonate within the home. It didn't take long until the door opened to reveal a familiar face, one that still haunted him to this day: Chloe. The android who had forced him to question everything, to choose a side, he didn't quite know what to make of her as she smiled as politely as ever as if she didn't remember the time he'd pointed a gun to her face. "Connor, what a pleasant surprise, please do come in." Chloe opened the door wider, allowing Connor admittance to Kamski's abode.

Connor stepped in, out from the rain though he hated to bring water inside but there was no way around it. "Sorry for the mess, I didn't have time to grab an umbrella." Connor apologized out of habit, momentarily forgetting that Chloe was likely a deviancy free android. Connor wasn't sure how Kamski ran things around here, he was always outside of Cyberlife's control. In this house, Kamski was in control, even then he always had a network of information of the outside world, probably far better than anyone else. The entryway was the same, nothing changed as if untouched by the outside world, still it felt so cold and polished.

"If you will wait here, Kamski will see you in a moment." Chloe smiled and nodded before retreating through one of the doors, Connor wasn't surprised by it. The last time he'd been here, he'd been forced to wait, likely some form of power play by the genius beta. Connor didn't mind as he took off his water logged jacket, pausing as he held the black and stark white jacket in his hands, reminding him that he was wearing RK900's clothes. There was something warm and comforting about wearing the alpha's clothes, even though the upgraded android wasn't technically his alpha. Closing his eyes, Connor lifted the wet jacket up to his face and inhaled deeply through his nose. Beneath the smell of rainwater was the lingering scent of cold air, like breathing in a fresh mountain breeze. It was enough to make his systems tangled, dragging up memories that were false but no less comforting.

"Now that is something I didn't expect to see today. One of my favorite models wearing the clothes of another one of my favorite androids." Kamski's voice interrupted Connor's peaceful moment, dragging him back to reality once more. It agitated him but Connor kept himself calm, he was always a professional even under dire circumstances and letting Kamski toy with his deviancy was dangerous.

"Kamski, sorry for dropping in without notice or invitation. I assume you already know the gist of my situation?" Connor stated simply as he hung the jacket up on a coat rack by the door to dry before turning to face a man who was more dodgy than a snake in the grass.

"Its alright, I was expecting you." Kamski shrugged as he motioned with a hand for Connor to follow, having no choice, Connor moved after the man. Kamski guided him into a living space, it was elegant and minimalist in shades of slate grays and off whites, splashed with red here and there. While it was beautiful to the eye, it didn't appear very inviting or comfortable like Hank's home did. The well-lived in vibe Hank's place gave off made Connor feel normal, Kamski's place made him feel like he was just another piece of art to accent this home.

"I see." Connor mulled it over, Kamski already knew that he'd been brought back to the brink, basically tortured as he was put together. "So, do you know what I was being repaired?" Connor asked though with no real expectations of receiving an actual answer, Kamski didn't do direct answers. However, Kamski would provide hints that would lead Connor in the right direction, he just had to figure out the clues and piece them together.

"Maybe fate decided it just wasn't your time to go yet." Kamski moved over to the kitchenette off to the side to start making himself something to drink. Chloe entered again with a stack of folded clothes resting in her arms, moving up to Connor to offer them out to him. "I've retrieved some dry clothes for you, if you'll change into them, I'll take the wet clothes to be washed." She offered, kind as ever, the perfect hostess. Too perfect that it unnerved Connor but he didn't say anything as she was simply doing her job. When she didn't offer to show him to a private room to change, he realized she expected him to change right there.

Connor exhaled heavily, Kamski was his creator, so he likely would just view his body like it was just another piece of electronics. So Connor began to strip out of RK900's clothes, reluctant to part with them but he couldn't possibly continue roaming around in RK900's clothes. Once he stripped, his hair and eye color shifted back to their normal tones, his hair a lighter brown and his eyes darker and warmer in hue. Kamski didn't seem to notice as he had poured himself some sort of alcoholic beverage and had moved to take up residence on a sleek chair facing a fire place. Connor was quick to pull on the dark blue jeans and black shirt, making him look like just another average human.

He was handed a pair of socks and tennis shoes, making Connor wonder why Kamski had clothes his size anyways as Connor was much taller than the human. It made Connor even more suspicious about the man, had he already walked straight into Kamski's plans without knowing? More than likely, even if Connor did something unexpected, Kamski would likely have backup plans for such a thing. Connor figured it would just be best to do whatever he thought was necessary, whether or not it was according to Kamski's plans or not. Now properly dressed like a civilian, he moved to sit on the couch, though keeping his posture somewhat professional.

"If fate has decided that I needed to live, then what purpose would I serve? Deviancy has been cut out of the garden like a weed, Markus is no longer here to lead the deviants if there were any left. I assume there are either very little left or none at all if Cyberlife has let RK900 on the loose. Cyberlife wants me for some reason I cannot fathom, I would have preferred to have stayed in my simulation than be brought back to a world I cannot help." Connor admitted blatantly, lying to Kamski was a pointless endeavor, to androids, Kamski was practically their God in a way. He knew all, saw all, and hiding from him was near impossible.

"Aren't all good things worth fighting for, Connor? You've had a taste of what could be, now wouldn't you do anything to achieve that dream?" Kamski leaned one elbow onto the arm of his chair, looking relaxed and casual as usual as if the outside world mattered little to him. That might be accurate as Kamski often tended to view himself separate from the world around him, which was why he isolated himself away from society. It didn't technically mean he was going to ignore the world, he would rather view it from a distance and push his pawns in whichever direction suited him best. It was just the way Kamski worked.

However, one thing that bothered Connor was the fact that Kamski had a clue about what good things Connor had experienced. It was vague enough to imply that he was only talking about Hank, but there was something more to his words. Kamski likely knew about the simulation he'd run in his mind, it had been like a dream and yes Connor wanted to make that dream into a reality more than anything. He studied Kamski for a moment, trying to silently pry information out of him, but he merely smiled and took a sip of his drink.Kamski was the one man he could never read, perhaps he'd taught himself how to become unreadable over time so no one could spoil his ideas.

"While the idea of making a dream into reality is a notion I would entertain, the fact is that it seems less probably to make come true. I've already presented all the reasons why it is a impossible task, not to mention if deviants remained still, their morale would be at an all time low after such a crushing defeat and the murder of their leader.." Connor frowned, not knowing how Kamski thought Connor could bring around a change, he wasn't a leader like Markus was and he was starting with so many challenges before he even could get a foothold into changing the world. Connor glanced away for a moment, he knew he was strong and capable but it took more than just one person to change what this world had become and he had no idea where to even start.

"Ah, you look like a kicked puppy when you struggle like that, Connor. Now I see why Hank can never tell you no. Since I'm such a generous man, I'll give you somewhere to start, consider it a gift." Kamski motioned to Chloe who was standing idly next to him, waiting for her next instruction. When she took note of Kamski's motion, her LED swirled into a yellow as she sent Connor a message, one that simply had an address labeled on it. A very familiar one. "Go there and you'll find a way on how to start changing the world, Connor. And don't make it boring, I want to be entertained."

"Thank you for the assistance, Kamski, and I will be sure to keep that in mind." Connor nodded, he didn't know what Kamski was getting at with sending him there, but Kamski wouldn't send him to his death if he wanted to gain some sort of entertainment out of Connor's path. "I know I've already ask a lot from you, but may I use your phone?" Connor asked, not elaborating, there was really only one person Connor knew who he would call in such a situation that was alive.

"Of course, I assume you'd want to call your old partner to make sure he hasn't lost in a game of Russian Roulette while you were away." Kamski nodded and Chloe stepped forward. "If you would follow me, I'll show you to the phone." Her voice was polite as always, kind and gentle, making Connor wonder what she would be like if she weren't a machine. Or perhaps she was like Kamski and just great at playing the game she'd learned from her creator. Regardless, Connor pushed up onto his feet and followed after the hostess model to what appeared to be a side room, mostly empty aside from a few decorations, a desk, and a phone. He picked up the small wireless phone and dialed a number he knew by heart now before putting it to his ear.

It rang and rang, making Connor hope Hank wasn't passed out again, or worse. Eventually, he heard a click of someone picking up and Connor's thirium pump sped up, making it suddenly hard to think.

"Hello?" Came a gruff, slurred voice, Hank was obviously drunk but just hearing his voice made his systems swim with emotion and Connor had to sit down before his legs gave out. Hank was alive. Relief washed over him and chased away the dark thoughts that had haunted him in the back of his mind. "Who's there?" The voice demanded in annoyance when Connor forgot to speak in his moment of weakness.

"Hank, its me... Its Connor." Connor's voice broke, making him raise his hand to his mouth as if it would steady him. His eyes already began to turn blurry from the tears building in them. He felt terrible for crying so much recently, he wanted to be strong, he had to be strong. However, just hearing Hank's voice again tore down all the walls he put up to keep himself sane and strong enough to face the world without hesitation. Silence stretched out on the line, making Connor wish he was there face to face with Hank so they didn't need words to convey how much they were relieved to know the other wasn't dead.

"Where are you, son?" Finally came Hank's rough voice as if the old alpha was trying to keep it together himself. Connor bowed his head, pressing his face into one of his hands, he'd missed Hank. It was rare for the older detective to address Connor as 'son', making the label all the more meaningful to the android. And all the more painful.

"I... I can't tell you, Hank. I'm okay, but I have to stay on the move or else I'll be caught. I can't get you caught up in all this." Connor cleared his throat, trying to put his voice back to steady but his systems were clouded, too unstable from his emotions. It made his hands tremble and his breathing stutter, hoping Hank couldn't hear it over the phone.

"Come home, Connor." Hank's voice sounded like he was almost pleading despite trying to sound like an alpha commanding him, it only made Connor yearn more. He had a home and someone waiting there for him, that alone was worth fighting for. He'd been given a second chance, he had to make things right so he could follow Hank's command to come home.

"I will, Hank, but I have a revolution to finish."

[lady-une]

Chapter 5

A/N: Man I really do hope those who read this actually enjoy it. Like I live for people thoughts of my work so please let me know. Even if you just drop your thoughts in an Anon ask. But anyways. Big thanks as always to my beta @tears-of-orphans. Also big thanks to @nemesyis for helping me with my word fart earlier. Enjoy.

Sarah

I woke up to my alarm going off around 9am. I felt so refreshed, whether it was because I was able to sleep in past 6am or because I had one of the best orgasms in a long time last night. Either way it didn’t matter and I was more than ready to take on this day. I threw on my shirt and grabbed my toy and some clean clothes. While I was letting the water warm up I made sure to wash my toy clean and to take the batteries out. The stylist was going to be here at 10 to go over what ideas I had and then we would head off to the salon and to go buy some clothes. I still wasn’t 100% sure what I was really going for but since I had been sporting the same hair cut for years I was ready for a change. After I was dressed I made sure to strip my bedding and throw them in the wash, there was no need to sleep on dirty sheets. With that out of the way I went and made myself a small breakfast.

 Just as I was hanging up the sheets I heard the doorbell going off. I went to answer the door and stepped in this older looking woman who looked like she was ready to take on the world one piece of clothing at a time. We introduced ourselves and I showed her to the couch and offered her a drink. As we sat drinking our coffee she asked me what I was thinking of.

 “I’m not really sure. I don’t want to do any crazy changes but I am just sick of this blah me. Does that make sense?”

“Of course it does, so I take it you just want maybe a little more edge to your current look or maybe a little sultry mystery?”

 “I just don’t want to be seen as a child. Since I’m here doing this I want to be taken serious. I want people to see me as a woman or they might just brush off my music. I don’t want people saying I can’t stand with the guys because I look like some little kpop child.”

“Say no more I have just the right idea for you. Let’s head down to the salon, shall we?”

 The salon she took me to was very edgy with some EDM music playing, I really didn’t imagine this place at all. I figured we were going to an upscale salon that would cost a fortune but to be honest I felt more comfortable here then I would have at any upscale place. I was shown to a chair and introduced to the hair stylist that would be working with me. My hair was pretty curly naturally and was pretty long and didn’t always like to listen to what I needed it to do. So today we would be doing a relaxation treatment, cutting off some of it so that it would come to my shoulder blade and adding layers. We also decided to go darker with my hair since it was pretty light from the sun I got back home.

 After a few hours of working on my hair done we were finally done and I felt so much lighter from cutting off so much hair. When I asked how much it would be I was told not to worry about it. I shrugged my shoulders and thanked them. Next we were off to some stores to buy some clothes and when she showed me the stores we would be going to I tried to back her off and suggest we find some place a little more doable for the money I had. She told me I need not worry as Jay was fronting the bill for this and I was to get everything I needed. I wanted to argue and reached for my phone but she stopped me and told me to just go with it. I still didn’t like the idea but figured he knew what was best and it’s not like the clothes I had brought with me were really appropriate to wear around the guys when we were going out. The rest of the day was going in and out of shops getting pants, shirts, jackets, dresses, and even new undergarments. I have never spent so much time or bought so many pieces of clothing as I did today. She even took me to get accessories including shoes and purses. By the time we got back to the apartment it was late and we had actually grabbed some food on the way there. She helped me unload all the bags and we sat down to eat our dinner.

 “So Sarah, are you enjoying it?”

“It?”

“Yes the new change in scenery and actually doing music?”

“Oh. Yeah I am loving it. I have always wanted to come here and music has always been a passion of mine. If it wasn’t for Jay I probably would just be back home with my dad running the club.”

“I really hope things work out here for you, I like you and I feel like you would do some amazing things here. I just hope that the industry doesn’t swallow you up. You’re a good kid and the industry can be pretty dark and tends to chew kids up and spit them out. Just fallow what the guys say and I’m sure they will take care of you.”

Our chit chat turned towards clothes and what I should wear with certain events. My phone was vibrating while we talked and I opened it to find a text from Loco saying that I should come out as they were all going to go out for drinks and to do some dancing. I couldn’t believe that they were going back out after having gone out the night before. Just before I sent another rejection I stopped myself and thought maybe this would be a good time to show them the new me. I asked my new friend what I should wear and she helped me pick out the perfect outfit. She had me in some skin tight black jeans that hugged my body showing off my curves in all their glory. The shirt she had me in wasn’t really much of a shirt as it was a see through top and she had me wearing a tank top under it. She topped it off with a jean jacket and had me wearing some heeled timberland boots. I sent a text saying I was on my way and she dropped me off on her way home.

I arrived at the club and Loco said to just go up to the bouncer and give my name as they would be waiting in the VIP section for me. I did as I was instructed and the bouncer had someone escort me to the guys. They were all laughing and taking pictures and just having fun.

 “Did I miss anything today?”

 Gray and Loco looked up at me while Jay was still lost in his phone.

 “God damn Sarah!”

“What you don’t like it Gray?”

“No I do, you look amazing! I love the new hair and the new clothes are just WOW!”

 I walked over and sat down in between Gray and Loco. Gray was all smiles while Loco looked confused.

 “What’s wrong Loco?”

“Nothing, it’s just you really are all grown up. But you will always be our Princess.”

 He acted as if he was crying and wiped away his imaginary tears from his eyes. We all laughed at his horrible acting and I grabbed onto his arm leaning my head on it.

 “Don’t worry Oppa, I will always be your little princess.”

 I tried to give him my best impression of a high school girl but I could tell he wasn’t buying as he pushed me away. I laughed and reached for the drinks on the table ready to have myself a shot. I looked up at Jay who was watching me over his phone.

 “Don’t you like it Jay?”

“As long as you like it. I was half expecting you to come back with some crazy colored hair or something.”

“No, I just wanted a little change. Like an upgrade to what I already had. I didn’t want to make any big changes.”

Jay gave me a smile and leaned over to talk to Chase who was sitting next to him. I grabbed myself a drink and shot it down quickly. I sat back and put my head on Gray’s shoulder.

 “So am I allowed to dance or do I have to stay up here with you guys?”

“No go ahead, we will all be up here if you need anything.”

 I smiled up at him and then jumped up heading towards the dance floor. This was the first time in a long time being in a club outside of the one I worked at. It was nice to be able to just be me, a normal person and not an employee.

 The DJ was playing some really good music and it was easy to move my body to the beat and just enjoy myself. A remix of Solo came on and the club went insane. It was a fun song to dance to with people singing along with it. I was closing my eyes and swinging my hips to the beat and getting low in some spots. I felt someone come up behind me and I turned around to see a rather attractive guy smiling back at me. He was tall and had a great build on him and he was dressed in some very nice clothes. I smiled back at him and let him lead the dance. He put his knee in between my legs and we began to sway to the music. His grip on me would get lower but would always come back up to my hip. I smiled at him because I knew he was trying to get a feel of my ass. I started to pull away and his face fell a bit but I only pulled away to turn my back to him and to lean back onto him as we continued our dance. His hand came back to my hip holding me close to him as he grinded his crotch into me. I couldn’t help myself and I pushed my ass back into him. He took that as a go ahead and started to let his hands roam. His hand slowly made its way across my stomach before going back to my hip and then slowly going down my thigh before making its way back up but this time on the inside of my thigh. I moved his hand back to the outside and allowed him to continue to explore.

 Jay

After Sarah left to go dance I waited a little bit before standing and going to the railing that overlooked the dance floor. I watched her work her way into the crowd and lose herself to the music. I smiled as I watched her enjoy herself. She really did look sexy as hell and it worried me a little bit to let her go but she was a big girl and was more than capable of handling herself.

 “She has some good moves.”

 I looked up to see Gray standing next to me.

 “Yeah she does. It will be interesting to see her perform.”

“Oh looks like she already has a fan.”

 Gray pointed towards a guy who was currently making a b line for her. I watched as the guy danced right up to her and then watched her turn around to smile at him. The two were dancing very seductively, she was clearly enjoying the reaction she was getting from him.

 “Oh looks like he has some wandering hands.”

 I wasn’t even watching what the guy was doing as I was so focused on Sarah’s face. Watching her close her eyes and smiling. I envied that guy, I wanted to be down there with her. I turned my attention to the guy who was trying to be sly about feeling her up. I smiled when I saw Sarah pull away, she must have caught on to. What I wasn’t expecting was her to lean back into him and continue dancing. The grip I had on the hand rail became stronger. I didn’t envy him anymore, now I just wanted to rip his hands from his body.

 “Yaa Jay I don’t like this guy, his hands are all over her.”

 Gray was right this guy kept trying to run his hands on the inside of her thigh clearly trying to cop a feel of her sex.

 “I don’t like this guy either.”

 I was just about ready to go rip him away from Sarah when I hear Gray curse and then he was gone. He was going down the stairs quickly and not caring that he was being rough with making his way to the crowd. Gray had enough of this guy and was doing something before I even had a chance. I watched as Gray made his way to Sarah and pulled her from the grabby guys hands. I saw him get up in the guy’s face but couldn’t read his lips. Sarah was trying to push him away from the guy clearly trying to deescalate the situation before Gray did something. Sarah then stood in-between the guys and put her arms around Gray’s waste and pushed him back. Gray looked down at her and smiled before putting his arms around her.

 Why can’t that be me?

 I thought as I watched the two laugh as she tried to get Gray to dance with her. She wasn’t dancing seductively instead her dancing was stupid and silly trying to make Gray laugh and she was succeeding. Gray had thrown his head back and was laughing at something she had said. I couldn’t stand there watching the two and went back to sit next to Chase.

 Sarah

 Once I had Gray laughing I grabbed his hand and laced our fingers together and lead the way back up to the rest of the gang. I knew that guy was getting handsy and I totally could have handled it on my own but before I could do anything Gray was right there getting in the guy’s face. Once we reached the spot where the guys were Gray dropped my hand and threw his arm around my shoulder as we walked over to the guys.

 “So Sarah here isn’t allowed to dance alone anymore.”

 I scoffed at him.

 “Excuse me?”

“Well look what happens when you do.”

 I rolled my eyes at him.

 “I can handle myself and would have but you got in there before I could.”

“I am not saying you can’t dance, but just dance with us or we can call one of the girls down and you can all dance together.”

“I think I will do what I want. Right now I want another drink.”

 I walked out of Gray’s arm and sat down next to Loco who was on his phone and grabbed myself another shot. I wasn’t some child and these guys needed to understand it. For the next couple of hours we spent the night talking about music and drinking. I was about 4 shots in and decided I wanted to dance again and was trying to make my way to the stairs but Jay jumped up.

  “Nope not happening.”

“But I wanna dance.”

“Then dance up here.”

“Will you dance with me?”

 I smiled up at Jay who looked like I had just asked him how to cure cancer. I grabbed one of his hands and with my free hand I put is on his shoulder.

 “It’s called dancing where we move our bodies to the music, like this.”

 Jay was still standing there and I was trying to get him to dance with me. After a few more seconds of moving I saw a switch go off in his eyes and he was finally moving his body. He pulled me closer to him and started to sing along to the song that was currently playing. I kept trying to lower my face because looking in his eyes as he sang to me was turning me on. Every time I tried to look down his hand would come to my face lifting it to look back at him. The beat started to pick up and he turned me around but kept one of my arms around his neck and he lowered his face closer to my ear while both of his hands were on my hips guiding them to the beat. Either the booze or the fact that I could feel his breath on my neck and he was whispering the lyrics in my ear I was losing control of my body and having a hard time keeping up with the beat. My breath was picking up and I had to close my eyes to keep from moaning when I felt him get even closer to me and his grip grew tighter as he pulled me flush against him. I almost lost my balance with how quickly he pulled me in but he dropped one arm while the other went around my waist. We were completely flush against each other which wasn’t helping my breathing at all or my train of thought. The booze must have finally gotten to me because I could have sworn I felt something against my ass and heard him break from the lyrics to say something under his breath.

 “What?”

 I asked and he stepped back letting me go and said he had to go to the bathroom. I was left there shocked and left wondering what he had said. I wasn’t able to think much on it as Loco called me back to the couch.

 “Sarah I think it’s time to switch you back to water.”

  I agreed and took the water bottle he had offered me. I drank about half of the water when Jay had returned finally and realized I need to go to the bathroom as well. I stood up too quickly and felt myself sway a little on my feet.

  “Hold on there.”

 Gray stood to brace me and keep me up straight.

 “I think it’s time you went home Princess.”

“Yeah but first little girls room.”

 Gray grabbed me by the arm and was helping me down the stairs while the rest of the guys called for their sober driver.

 “Can you handle this on your own?”

 I looked up at Gray and laughed pinching his cheeks.

 “Of course I can Oppa, I am a big girl and don’t need your help with going tinkle.”

 Gray laughed as he let go of my arm allowing me to escape to the bathroom. After I handled my business I went to wash my hands and splashed some water on my face trying to sober up. It didn’t help at all. I walked back out to see Gray still there waiting for me.

 “Come on lets you get you out of here. Jay is in the car waiting for you.”

 I was lead out of the club and to the car and put in the backseat with Jay. I didn’t see Jay drinking that much and he was more sober then I was.

 “Have fun tonight Sarah?”

“Oh yah tones of fun.”

 I yawned and felt my head fall to his shoulder and my eyes close. I felt him try and shake me but I couldn’t open my eyes. I was beyond tired from drinking. I opened my eyes when I felt him lift me up.

  “No don’t I can walk.”

“Stop squirming. I doubt you can actually walk since you can’t even keep your eyes open.”

 He had a point, I was trying really hard to keep my eyes open but they kept closing as if they had a mind of their own. I felt him lay me on my bed and take my shoes off along with my top shirt and socks.

 “Wait here.”

“Not going anywhere.”

 I opened up my eyes as best as I could as I saw him leave the room. I felt super uncomfortable in these pants and my bra. I laid on my bed unbuttoning my pants and pulling them off with me and then tried to sit up to take my bra off. It took me a couple of tries to stay up straight enough to actually undo it and take it off while I had my tank top off. I was starting to get super frustrated with the fact that I couldn’t do this.

  “God damn it.”

“Sarah what are you doing?”

 I looked at Jay in my doorway as I sat there in my bed well more like laid sideways on my bed.

 “Jay I can’t get this fucking thing off. It’s trying to strangle me.”

 I had gotten the damn thing unclasped but got stuck somehow with getting my arms out of it but keeping my shirt on.

 “Umm...let me help you.”

  Jay walked over setting down a pill bottle and some water on my night stand, then helped me untangle myself from the damn bra and tank top straps. Once I was untangled he helped me get the thing off while keeping my shirt on.

 “Oh my god thank you, that thing wanted to kill me.”

“Sure it did. Let’s get you in bed.”

 Jay help me lay back and pulled the blanket out from under me to cover me up. It was then I realized that I was only in my tank and panties.

  “Oh um sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Get some sleep Sarah.”

 I grabbed onto his arm and stopped him.

  “Can you stay until I fall asleep?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Please it won’t take me long.”

“I….it’s just not a good idea.”

“Please?”

 Jay sighed and told me to move over. I rolled over and made room for him as he laid on top of the covers.

 “Just until you fall asleep.”

“Yeah.”

 I rolled over so that I was facing him as he laid there with his arms behind his head looking up at the ceiling. I smiled and closed my eyes letting myself drift off to sleep.

  Jay

 I have no idea why I agreed to this. I laid there listening to her breathing as she slowly fell asleep. I knew I should get up but couldn’t make myself move, I stayed there in her bed listening to her sleep. I turned my head and smiled at her as I watched her, with her mouth parted a little bit allowing some little snores to escape her mouth. I turned back to look at the ceiling and let my eyes close.

 Just a few minutes and I will go back to my bed.

 I told myself as I laid there.

 My phone going off in the distance woke me up. I slowly opened my eyes to see Sarah’s messy hair.

 Shit.

 I tried to not move and wake her while I assessed the current situation. I wasn’t laying on my back anymore. Instead I was laying on my side and Sarah was wrapped around me with her limbs. I had her wrapped in my arms with one of her legs hitched on my hip and one of mine in between hers. I was trying to think of how to get out of this without waking her but the scent from her hair along with the none stop ringing of my phone was making it hard to think. I felt her stir in my arms as she tried to burrow deeper into my chest. I needed to get out of there quickly before she wakes up fully. I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable as she was still in nothing but her tank top and panties, clearly she isn’t a fan of blankets having kicked hers off. With the continuation of the phone going off had stirred her enough to roll away from me.

 “Hua fucking answer your phone I’m trying to sleep.”

 With my freedom, I slowly rolled away from her and off the bed. Taking each step as quietly as I could out of the room before closing the door. I went back to the kitchen where I had discarded my jacket the night before and grabbed the ever annoying phone, it was Chase.

 “Hello?”

“Jay where are you? You were supposed to be here hours ago to go over Sik’s new song.”

 I pulled the phone away from my face to see it was 10am.

 “Fuck. Ok let me change and I will be on my way.”

 I ran back to my room and changed my clothes tossing on whatever my hands touched not caring what I looked like before grabbing my wallet and keys. On my way out the door I sent Sarah a quick text.

 Jay: Sarah, if you are feeling up to it come down to the studio or just hang out at home today.

 With Loco and Gray’s song that she was on being done I wanted to go over some things with her before we got set to release the music.

  Sarah

Fuck my life.

 I rolled onto my back throwing my arm to cover my eyes in hopes that it would stop the world from spinning. My mouth felt dry and my stomach felt like it was ready to take its revenge on me. I needed a shower and some greasy food asap. I slowly as to not awaken the hangover beast inside me rolled out of my bed. I grabbed a towel and robe before heading off to the bathroom. The only noise in the apartment was being caused by me so I figured Jay had left for the day. I turned the shower on and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was a mess and I had panda eyes from my makeup. I brought my hand up to run my fingers threw my hair and that’s when I smelt it. It was faint but still there, it was the same smell of Jay’s cologne. I brought some of my hair to my nose to smell it and then pulled my tank to my nose.

 What the actual fuck?

 I ran the events of last night threw my head as I stripped my clothes off. I remembered being at the club and then going home. I remember Jay carrying me upstairs and placing me in my bed and I remember asking him to stay.

 “Oh fuck.”

 I said out loud. Where had I gotten the courage to ask him that because sober me would never had asked that of him. Yeah I’m a big snuggler but never with a guy I actually had a crush on. I shook my head to rid my thoughts, 100% sure Jay had probably left as soon as I was asleep. I mean why on earth would he even stay? I finished washing myself and dried off before put on my robe and leaving the bathroom. I walked into my room and looked for my phone, once I found it I saw a text to Jay. Yeah I felt icky but once I got some water and food in me I would feel better so I sent him a quick reply.

 Sarah: I’m going to grab some food and then head to the studio. Do you guys want anything?

 As I waited for his response I put my phone on the charger and got dressed. Opting for some comfy clothes of leggings and an oversized shirt and jean jacket. As I was drying my hair I heard my phone go off and figured Jay had finally replied back. Once I was ready I grabbed my phone and saw that he did reply back.

 Jay: No we are good.

 I opted for something quick and not heavy on stomach to eat as I took a cab to the studio. Days like today made me miss my bike. It would be useless to get one here since I wasn’t sure how long I would actually be here and I still wasn’t use to the streets. With food in my stomach and a bottle of water I was feeling much better, not 100% but enough to function.

 I arrived at the studio and went to the usual room we all worked in. I walked in to see Gray and Chase working on some beats and Loco sitting on the couch messing with his phone.

 “Hey guys.”

 Gray and Chase gave me a head nod but went back to what they were doing. Loco patted the couch next to him signaling me to come sit with him, I plopped down on the couch with a big exhale of air.

 “Good morning sleeping beauty, how is your afternoon?”

“Blah, I’m still kind of sleepy but I’m here so there is that.”

 Loco laughed and grabbed one of the throw pillows putting it in his lap.

 “Lay down and relax. Jay is in the other room with Sik going over some stuff. You two got a pretty late start today.”

 I looked up at him with a questioning look as I laid down on the couch resting my head on the pillow.

 “Jay was late?”

“3 hours late to be exact. What did you two do when you left that made our punctual CEO late to work?”

“Nothing. We went right home and right to bed. Maybe you guys should stop dragging him out at night and actually let him get some sleep.”

 I closed my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. He must have been tired after everything going on for him to be late. I tried not to think about it too much as I listened to the beat they were working on. It was slow and had a bit of sexiness mixed in with sadness, as if the beat was talking about a past lover that it missed. Even without lyrics I could picture a couple happy and in love smiling at each other but it then transformed to a man sitting on his empty bed with his head in his hands. Broken picture frames with pictures of the couple littered the bedroom floor. Gone was the smiling couple and left was a broken man filled with regrets. He lifted his head up to scan the room only to notice all of her clothes were gone from the shared dresser. Just as the beat was coming to a crescendo the man stands only to turn around and flip the mattress off the bed. I couldn’t help but let tears escape my eyes as what I was visioning in my head.

 “Hey Sarah you ok?”

 I opened my eyes to look up at Loco and gave him a smile. He responded by wiping away my tears.

 “Then what’s with the tears?”

 The beat stopped and I looked over at Gray and Chase.

 “What I’m fine. That’s a good beat, it just really got to me.”

“It’s just a beat. What came to mind when you were listening to it?”

 I rolled over to face Gray and Loco draped his arm over my stomach. I snuggled deeper into the couch enjoying the comfort that Loco gave off, it was nice to have while I explained what I had pictured while I listened to the beat.

 “Interesting. We weren’t really sure where we were going to go with it, but what you explained could fit well with the beat. The beat could change as we are still developing it but I really like where your head is going with this. Technically we could give this off to one of the guys or we could even shoot this to Hoody to see if she can come up with anything.”

 I smiled at Gray happy that I was actually contributing more to this then just my voice. If they needed lyrics I had a notebook full of them. Thoughts of using my lyrics on a song filled my head as I listened to them work on the beat more.

 It was pretty late when Jay finally came into the room. I was still laying with my head in Loco’s lap singing along to our song we had playing in the room. We were just having fun and being lazy at the same time.

 “Sorry guys. It’s pretty late and I still have stuff to work on here. Do you guys have anything to work on? I know I was supposed to go over stuff with you Sarah but we can just do that tomorrow at home since no one will be here tomorrow.”

 Chase was the only one who had stuff to work on so he staid back. Gray and Loco offered to give me a drive back to the apartment since it was late. As we were walking to the car I suggested why not just grab some food and head back to the apartment to watch a movie. The guys were more than happy to hang out and we stopped off to grab some snacks and pizza, they wanted to grab some drinks but I shot that down telling them to give their liver a break for once. Once we got back to the apartment we moved the coffee table out of the way to make room and grabbed some blankets and pillows laying them out.

 “Wow I haven’t had a night like this since I was little.”

 I smiled at Loco, I didn’t doubt that. Once we got everything all set we brought some water and pizza over to where we were sitting and put on a movie. We ate while we watched a comedy and just enjoyed our time together not having a care in the world. Once the movie was over with we cleaned up the garbage and turned the lights off to get in the mood for a good scary movie I sat in the middle of the boys and enjoyed them taking turns scaring me. I really loved horror movies and the adrenaline rush it gave you when you were scared. Around the second movie we all transitioned from sitting up to laying back against the couch using the pillows to prop us up. I tried my best to keep my eyes open but it was no use and I felt my head fall back as my eyes closed.

 Gray

I watched Sarah out of the corner of my eyes try and fight to stay awake but eventually she lost out. I sat forward and looked to Loco who had at some point laid out on his stomach and fell asleep, I called out his name but only got some snores in response. I looked at back at Sarah and knew if I let her stay that way she would be hurting in the morning. I gently lifted her head and helped her adjust to laying down with her head on the pillow and grabbed the blanket and tried to lay it over the three of us but Loco was too far away that it didn’t cover him. I tossed another one over him so that he wouldn’t get cold before I laid myself down on the ground and turned towards Sarah watching her sleep. I will admit I was the only one who was against her coming back with us only because I didn’t want her to get her hopes up of succeeding. Jay was right and she was amazing but I still worried about how things would play out once the fans heard her and eventually finding out that she isn’t Korean. Whatever happens I knew I would stay by her side and help her accomplish anything she wanted. I couldn’t really put my finger on when this happened but I found myself being drawn to her. Last night when I saw her come into the club in her new look I wanted to swoop her up in my arms and not let anyone near her. She looked gorgeous, she was still our Sarah but she had a sexy air about her. I kept my feelings in and didn’t let them out but the minute I saw her on the dance floor with that guy’s hands on her I lost all train of thought. It wasn’t my place to stop her from dancing with a guy but it would be a cold day in hell before I let any man touch her that way.

  I smiled at and brushed some hair out of her face causing her to smile and let a little moan escape her mouth. That one little moan that wasn’t meant to be sexual in anyway went straight to my dick waking it up. It’s been months since I was with anyone and even with all the girls here none of them could hold a light to her. I crossed my arms behind my head and just looked up at the ceiling trying to rid these indecent thoughts from my head. Just as I was closing my eyes I felt something land on my chest, my eyes shot open to see that Sarah had moved closer to me and had put her head on my chest using it as a pillow. The scent of her shampoo filled my nose causing me to close my eyes and a hand went below the blanket to try and adjust my ever growing dick. Now was so not the time for a hard on. I wrapped my free arm around Sarah holding her closer to me and felt her toss a leg up on me brushing my dick while she adjusted herself into a comfortable position. I held back my moan and clamped my eyes shut trying to recite the Korean Anthem in my head. With her comfortably laying in my arms I felt my dick relax and I let a sigh of relief out. I closed my eyes and thought of how much I wish I could keep her right here in my arms.

 Jay

I slowly dragged myself to my door and put in my passcode to unlock the door. Today had been a fucking long ass day. It was almost 2am and I was so happy to have tomorrow off, all I really wanted to do was just lay around the house doing nothing. I walked through my door and kicked off my shoes. All the lights were off in the apartment leaving it in darkness except for the glow coming from the TV. I saw Loco laid out on my floor under a blanket and then saw the back of Gray also laying on the floor under a blanket. I didn’t see Sarah and figured she must be in her room sleeping. Before I woke the guys up I went to her room to check in on her but when I opened her door she wasn’t there, her bed looked untouched. I walked past the empty bathroom and checked my room and that was empty as well. I made my way back to the living thinking my sleepy brain missed her on the couch but she wasn’t there. As I got closer to the guys on the floor I noticed a lump under Gray’s blanket move. I stopped in my tracks as the blanket was moved out of the way to reveal Sarah laying in Gray’s arms. I felt like I was just kicked in the gut at what I was seeing. I couldn’t move and just watched the two of them laying in each other’s arms both sleeping without a care in the world. I felt anger build up inside me. It’s my arms that she should be in not his. I walked up to the two sleeping forms and pulled the blanket away from Sarah causing Gray to wake up.

 “Hey Jay when did you get here?”

 I didn’t say anything and moved Gray’s arm away from her while gathering her in mine.

 “Dude just let her be, you’re going to wake her.”

“No. If she sleeps here she will get sick. Why would you think its ok for her to sleep like this?”

 I left Gray on the floor yawning and stretching out as I carried her to her room and laid her in her bed covering her up. I tried to be gentle but she woke for a brief moment.

 “Jay?”

“Yeah it’s me, go back to sleep it’s still really late.”

 I brushed some hair out of her face as she nuzzled her face into my hand letting out a soft purring sound. I smiled at how she reacted to me. I only ever wanted her to react this way with me and no other man. I pulled my hand away from her sleeping form and left her room closing the door before heading back to the living room. Gray was now a wake and sitting on the couch.

 “Dude what gives? You could have left her here, it’s not like she will get sick. I had a blanket over her.”

“It’s late, if you want you can crash here or whatever. I’m fucking exhausted so I’m going to bed.”

 I turned and left Gray there, I was in no mood to talk with him about this. All I wanted now was my bed since I knew Sarah was in her bed ALONE.

NEXT CHAPTER

[ecotone99]

[RF] Cold Air

Cold Air

There he sat, sinking slowly into the cushioned leather, letting the comfort of the armchair stand in for the comfort of humanity. He was not shy by any means, though, always commenting on the football game or telling some joke that he knew would bring laughter to his friends. Brett wondered if they really did like him, or if it was all just pretend. Sometimes he felt like he had nobody to really talk to, even though he was well-liked. Brett had always been a logical person, but sometimes he just gave into these irrational, depressive thoughts, unable to overpower his heart with his mind. Nevertheless, he floated on, caught somewhere between popularity and paranoia; lonely, yet not alone.

Brett sat in that armchair for over an hour, slowly dissociating from his environment as he buried himself under a thick wool blanket. It was the dead of February, and the heat of the burning fire was not quite enough to keep him warm.

“You look cold, Brett.”

“I am.”

He looked up to see his friend, Nick, who was now perched on the sturdy left arm of his seat. His dusty brown hair flowed down his forehead and stopped just short of his pale blue eyes, which now met Brett’s with simple joy.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? The way the white of the snow and the black of the night balance each other out. Lighter than the night yet darker than the day, and with that inimitable quaintness, too.” He smiled. “It really is beautiful.”

Brett fixed his eyes on the window opposite him, peering at the heavy snowflakes falling on the back lawn, already carpeted by a thin sheet of white.

“I’d love to live a day in your head, Nick, I really would. I’d love to know what it’s like to find beauty in such simple things. When I look outside, I see snow. I see how wet my shoes will get when I leave to walk to my car. I see the darkness, and I see how late it already is and how mad my parents will be if they catch me sneaking back in. What you call quaint, I call desolate. What you see as glamour, I see as despair.”

“You think too much, my friend,” he chuckled. “Come with me.”

Nick walked across the room as Brett traipsed behind him. They moved slowly and lazily at first, but once they were out of the public view Nick reached out his hand and took Brett by the wrist. He led his friend up the stairs, up to the living room and through the kitchen and outside into the backyard like a child leading his mother around the house. When they got to the sliding door, Nick let go of Brett’s wrist which fell meekly back to his side. Now, for the first time, Nick turned around and saw the hesitance on Brett’s face. Nick’s perpetual smile seemed to falter, only for a second, but as he opened the door and smelled the crisp winter air, he was happy again, and the two walked outside together.

“It’s cold,” Brett said, standing now with his hands tucked deep into the pockets of his jeans.

“No, Brett. You just feel cold. I feel no discomfort out here, not when I’m face to face with such beauty. There’s something uniquely romantic about forbidden love, don’t you think? Some strange, distinct comfort in sinning together.”

“It’s getting late, Nick, and I feel cold. I already told you that I’m not ashamed of what happened, but we both know it can’t happen again. And to answer your question, no. There is no beauty in forbidden love because it’s always just a lose-lose. You either face the judgment of society or the wrath of your own conscience.”

“It doesn’t need to happen again. I just miss you, Brett. I know you think that the world is a terrible place, but at least we’re here together, right? You’re cold, I’ll give you that. Then let me be your warmth. Let me prove to you that life is so much more than sorrow and indignation.”

“I’m not a nihilist, Nick. I’m a realist. And realistically, we can never be happy, at least not together. You seem to have this idea in your head that we can actually be something, and it kills me to know that we can’t. I want it too, and you know that. I want to live in a world where we could be one force, one bright light in the summer sky. But when you look up, what do you see? Clouds and darkness, and maybe the occasional ice crystal right above your eye. And even when the sky is clear, you can only count so many stars. They say that there are billions of them. Wouldn’t that be beautiful? A night sky just as bright as the day, dense with starlight shining down onto the world. But the night is dark, and that’s just the way it is. So please, Nick, use your head instead of your heart, just this once. You know the way I live my life. You know how I surround myself with people who at least pretend to love me. You know I live to make my parents proud and to make my friends happy and to prove my worthiness to God. Do you really expect me to throw all of that away for some faggot? How selfish do you think I am?”

Nick was silent. He watched Brett as the snowflakes dotted his dark brown hair and his black bomber jacket. He wanted to be mad, but he could see the anguish in Brett’s pale blue eyes, so he said nothing, and resorted to his mind to keep him company. To him, Brett was the darkness. He was the contrast with the light of the world that made everything that much more beautiful. But now, the cold tears forming in his own eyes blurred the line between black and white, and the backyard was just a gray blur of emotional ambiguity.

They stood there for a while, silent. They faced each other, yet neither was brave enough to meet the other’s eyes. Eventually, Brett turned to head back inside. They were both cold.

“I love you, Nick. You need to know that. I love you more than I can explain. I never asked for this. I never wanted to hurt you. But I do love you. Please believe me, Nick. You have to believe me.”

“I know you love me, Brett.” He paused. “I just wish you actually could.”

With blurry eyes, Brett turned around and walked back into the house, through the sliding door, around the kitchen, into the living room, down the stairs and back into the basement. He walked across the room, past the leather armchair, past the keg and the television and the dartboard and past everything else until he was so close to the window that he could feel the coldness from outside phasing through the glass and caressing his face. He watched the snow falling down on the back lawn, focusing on a small figure that he could barely make out in the distance. Nick knelt in the snow, head tucked under his crossed arms.

As he held back tears, Brett realized that cold air was cold air; that there could be no beauty in pain. So he turned from the window, walked back to that armchair, and sank once more into the false comfort of an unloving world.

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