#as far as i can tell he has no canon appearance so i just did whatever

[bluuscreen-png]

i’ll draw something better once i’ve actually listened to the podcast, but congrats to this guy for defeating mr undertale

[marvelfilth]

Off the deep end 3 (18+)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Pairing: ghostface!Sam Carpenter x f!reader

Warnings: canon typical violence

Summary: Ghostface strikes again and you decide to take matters into your own hands

Masterlist

You're met with chaos when you enter the living room. Mindy is pacing, her hands up in the air as she explains something to annoyed Tara. Chad is talking to someone on the phone, his brows furrowed and his knee bouncing up and down rapidly. Anika sits still, her eyes locked on the TV and you follow her gaze, stopping in your tracks when you see the scene.

Ghostface mutilated two men, boys, from your class. Greg, the guy you've helped with multiple assignments is now dead, his fucking head detached from his body. Your eyes are pinned to the reporter at the scene as he continues on the details of the murder.

You fight the urge to throw up.

Sam turns you away from the TV and holds your hands tight, rubbing her thumb over your knuckles. "It's going to be okay," she whispers, "I won't let anything happen to you." She places a kiss on your open palm, and then leads it to her cheek, nuzzling.

But you're not listening. You're far too lost in your thoughts. Sam's here, with you. She was here the whole night and the day before.

Why would you ever think she'd take on the mantle of Ghostface, the very thing that almost ruined her life? It's so obvious now, no matter how hard she tries to hide it, you can see she's shaking ever so slightly. You see her jaw clench.

You see how hard she's trying to hide her emotions.

You pull her in a fierce hug, clinging for dear life, feeling her burrow her face into your neck with a heavy exhale. She's trembling with fear or rage - you're not sure.

You're forced to pull apart when Quinn bursts your bubble, phone in a hand. "My dad wants to talk to you." She glances at your joined hands, but doesn't comment.

Sam pulls away and steps away to a corner of the room, a crease forming between her brows as she listens to whatever detective Bailey has to say. You fight the urge to follow her to ease her worries.

"Are you okay?" The redhead asks.

You nod dazedly, not looking away from Sam.

"Do you want some water? You're kind of really pale," she mumbles.

You shake your head and finally look at her. "I'm fine. Do they know who did it?" You ask, gesturing to the TV.

She sighs. "No. There was only a mask."

You bite your lip, nodding.

Sam appears by your side a minute later, looking more pent up than before. "I need to go to the station," she says, giving the phone back to Quinn.

You knew to expect this, but still, your heart clenches painfully. This is really happening.

"What? Why?" Quinn asks, looking between the two of you.

Sam sighs, running a hand through her hair. You can tell she's conflicted, and the way her eyes keep flickering to the TV makes you reach out to her and grab her face, pinning her with your eyes. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No. You'll stay here. It's safer." She looks around, her eyes lingering on Chad and Ethan. "Don't leave the apartment, okay?"

She waits for your nod and leaves in a hurry, Tara hot on her heels, and you're left to worry in the company of your friends. Mindy spews out theory after theory, each one wilder than the previous

They get positively horrifying after the fourth one, and you decide to tune her out to keep yourself from spiraling.

Ethan keeps sending you worried looks to which you always smile. The boy is way too sensitive and kind to be caught in this mess. You just hope he'll make it out alive.

"Let's go to my room," Quinn whispers, nudging you subtly.

You mindlessly follow her, eager to get away from the overstuffed room. She pushes you to sit on her bed and pulls out a bottle of cheap gin from her nightstand.

"Don't ask," she mutters.

You keep quiet and take a swing, sinking against her pillows. She joins you on the other side, throwing a hand over your shoulders.

"So what's the deal between you and Sam? You guys finally got your shit together?" She asks out of blue, taking away the bottle so you couldn't stall.

You're thankful for the distraction.

"I don't really know."

"Come on." She clings to your arm. "Give me the deets."

You laugh, but shake your head. "No deets, sorry."

She groans, pushing you away. "Fine. Keep your secrets."

You take back the bottle and take a big gulp, wincing at the taste. Quinn's eyes linger on you, but you pay her no mind, worriedly fiddling with your phone, waiting for Sam's call.

"Who do you think it is?" She breaks the silence before taking a swing.

The hair at the back of your neck stands at the way she looks at you, her eyes dark and pupils blown. A side of her mouth quirks up in a subtle smirk, but you catch it even in your inebriated state.

"What?"

"Oh, come on. You must have a suspect," she presses.

You gulp, sitting up straight. "I don't know, Quinn. I don't think any of our friends are capable of that." You shudder, looking away.

"Well, it's someone who's close to the Carpenters, that's for sure," she mumbles, putting the bottle away.

You don't like where the conversation is heading. The thought of someone close to you slicing people for fun makes your heart drop to your stomach. You think about Chad and Mindy, the way friendship with them came so easily. You think about Anika and her unwavering belief in everything that's good. You think about Ethan and Quinn, two completely opposite people who manage to make you feel welcomed, with the same crooked smile on their lips.

You shake your head. "Maybe it's different this time. Maybe-"

Your phone starts ringing, effectively cutting you off. You glance at the screen.

Unknown number.

Gulping, you look at Quinn, who looks back at you with wide eyes. It's probably the first time you see her unnerved, her hands shaking as she gestures at you to pick it up.

"Hello?" You answer.

You hear a click of the voice changer before the person on the other side speaks.

"Hello, Y/n. What's your favorite scary movie?"

×××

Each of Tara's muffled sobs feels like a stab to Sam's stomach. She tugs her sister closer, looking between the shelves to check where Ghostface is. She still can't believe he attacked them like that, in the middle of the street, and followed them to the store, killing everyone in the way.

She looks at Tara to see her own expression mirrored in the brown eyes, determined and focused.

"Sam?" Her sister mouths, to which she shakes her head, nudging her forward.

They need to get out right now.

She picks up a can from the floor and throws it with all of her might to the other side of the bodega, moving the second Ghostface turns around.

She doesn't flinch when the shotgun fires at the shelves across the room, only tugs Tara harsher, almost dragging her along. They're so close to the door they only need to take a few steps, but that means being seen and she can't afford that, so she waits with a baited breath for a perfect opportunity.

Ghostface moves almost silently, inching closer with each step. Sam knows she's almost out of time, she can see the looming figure in the crack between the shelves. She acts without thinking, pushing as hard as she can against the shelf and burying the masked figure under it.

They waste no time running away, not looking back to see if Ghostface is following them and getting the hell out of that store.

Police sirens greet them at the entrance and Sam exhales with relief, only now allowing herself to look back.

The store is a mess. The mask is left on the floor.

Her ears ring and her hand goes numb from how hard Tara grips it. Her chest heaves with each breath and all she wants to do is go back home, put on the mask and find that motherfucker.

And then a figure rounds the corner and crushes straight into them.

"Oh god, Sam. You're okay," you gasp, clinging to her. "Fuck, I thought-" that's the moment you look back to the store, your mouth dropping open at the sight. You jump back then, looking them both up and down until you're certain they're fine.

"What are you doing here?" Tara asks, her voice wavers. "How did you know?"

You look back at Sam, your eyes wide and watery. The anger in her chest gives way to something warm and tender, and she doesn't resist the urge to scoop you into her arms and drown in your comforting scent.

"I got a call," you hesitantly speak up, voice muffled against her jacket.

"No, we got a call," her sister's voice hardens as she rises to her towering five feet and zero inches.

"Tara, there's no need for this," Sam butts in, pulling away a bit and putting an arm around your shoulders. She senses the change in her sister, the way her shoulder tense even more, the way her eyes stay rooted to yours. "She just got here."

Tara's eyes snap to look at her sister. "And how did she know where to go?"

"Ghostface told me. Tara, I swear." You don't dare to look away from her. You need her to believe.

She nods tersely, but suspicion lingers in her eyes. You sigh in relief. That's all you can ask for.

You turn in Sam's arms and burrow your face into the crook of her neck, adrenaline finally leaving your body as tears start to roll down your cheeks.

You were terrified.

"It's okay. We're okay." Sam reassures, enveloping you in her arms.

You nod, choking on a sob and cling to her even more. Her hands circle your waist, pushing you snug against her as she whispers sweet reassurances into your ear. Tara steps back, her eyes narrowed as she keeps glancing between you and the store.

"Sam." Detective Bailey comes from behind her, making you jump in surprise. "I need you to come to the station with me." His tone is apologetic, but firm. He waits for Sam to nod before walking away to speak to other police officers.

"Go home, okay? I'll get back as soon as I can," she whispers against your temple.

You grip her tighter, but eventually nod.

×××

You wake up to the sound of your alarm. You open your eyes slowly, blinking against the rays of sun that managed to sneak past the heavy curtains, and curse when you realize it's already morning.

So much for staying up and waiting for Sam.

Sighing, you check your notifications and groan when you see thirty texts from Mindy. You text her to let her know you're on your way, putting on some fresh clothes and hurrying out of the door, already late to your class.

You spend half of the day dozing off, empty space next to you signaling that Sam and Tara are still at the station.

"What the fuck, Y/n? First you run out the door like a maniac, and then Tara and Sam get attacked at a bodega. Where were you?" Mindy asks the second you get close enough to hear her, and pulls you along to push you down on one of the benches in the park, Chad glaring at you from behind her shoulder.

You take a moment to respond, gulping at the outright murderous look on Mindy's face. "When Sam left I got a call from Ghostface," you start, and Mindy already opens her mouth to give you a piece of mind, only stopping when Anika tugs her down on her lap. "You probably know the script by now, but they said… well, they said they know Sam's secret and she's going to pay for it, like, right now. So I ran to warn her because she wouldn't pick up her phone, and when I got there it was already late. Ghostface left, but Sam and Tara were fine, thank god." You shudder at the memory.

It's quiet for a moment as Mindy contemplates your answer. "What secret?"

You wince, knowing you're probably a suspect now. "No idea."

Mindy blinks and then nods to herself. "Congratulations, dear Y/n, you just dethroned Ethan as my top suspect."

"Why am I a suspect?" Ethan shrieks, looking up from his book.

"So she's your suspect just because she got a call? Solid evidence." Anika mumbles, earning a withering glare from Mindy. "Babe, I appreciate your input, but it's totally not needed, I'm the expert here."

You sigh, but decide to stay quiet for your own sake. Whatever you say will undoubtedly make you even more of a suspect in her eyes anyway.

You check your phone, biting your lip at the lack of messages from Sam. Quinn looks over your shoulder, a smirk pulling at her lip when she reads some of your texts. You elbow her harshly and she rolls her eyes, scooting away from you.

"Y/n."

You jump up, face heating up when Sam pecks your cheek. You face her slowly, raising a knee to your chest. "Morning, Sam. Tara." You try to smile, but all you can manage is a grimace.

She looks tired, dark circles under her eyes tell you off the night spent in the interrogation room and you wish you were there with her. She moves slowly, looking you up and down. "You-"

"No need," Mindy swiftly interrupts the older girl, jumping up to her feet and pushing Sam and Tara to take a seat. "The interrogation has been taken care of."

Sam rolls her eyes, but doesn't say anything else, nudging Ethan to switch places with him. She settles, sighing deeply and leans on your shoulder, closing her eyes. You bite back a smile, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Did you get home safe?" Tara asks, voice laced with suspicion.

She looks even worse than last night, her hair a mess, her eyes tinged red. You're ready for her to chew you out, no doubt she spent the night overthinking your every word.

You gulp, feeling Sam stiffen. "Yeah."

"So you get a call, they tell you exactly where to go and then you appear right after Ghostface leaves, when it's safe. Convenient," she grumbles, shaking her head.

"Can you leave her alone?" Ethan exclaims, throwing his hands in the air. "She's your suspect, we got it. Let's just move on."

Quinn nods, "You should've seen her face when she got the call. I thought someone died or something."

Tara sends you one last shrewd look before huffing and crossing her arms with a pout.

You curse yourself for being so stupid yesterday.

Sam's lips brush against the crook of your neck, muttering, "She'll come around, don't worry."

You nod stiffly, nose burrowed in her soft hair. Her lips leave a quick peck on your shoulder before straightening up and poking you in the ribs teasingly. You can't help but admire her strength - she was attacked mere hours ago and now she's back to her usual self.

Either her therapist is working overtime or she's found some way to let all that pent up anger out.

"You're protecting her, how sweet," Mindy coos before schooling her features into her best bad cop look. "What a coincidence that you two are my suspects too. Ethan. The shy and dorky guy who no one suspects because he's so shy and dorky. And, oh wait, you're awfully close to my main suspect." She rolls on the balls of her feet gesturing wildly, as she goes off on a rant.

It goes on for ages, making Ethan uncomfortable and squirmy.

"Mindy," you butt in, yearning a glare from Tara, but it gets her to stop and finally move on to the next suspect.

Quinn.

You stay quiet this time, listening to every word Mindy says. You've had this nagging feeling about the redhead ever since you saw that smirk on her face. It still sends shivers down your spine.

Sam notices the way you seem to shrink into her and sends you a questioning look, but your attention is on Quinn.

Mindy mentions something about cops and you perk up. "Why is your dad on the case?" You hurriedly ask.

Mindy's mouth snaps shut mid sentence, but she seems to appreciate the question, turning to face Quinn properly, hands on her hips.

Quinn rolls her eyes with a huff. "You think I know? It's literally his job, but he probably did it to keep an eye on me."

Mindy shakes her head, musing about the conveniences of having a cop dad. You tune her out, basking in the warmth of Sam's embrace. She smiles softly, and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. In this moment, no matter how short, you feel blissfully content.

When Mindy is finally done with her rant, Anika reminds you of your last class, speaking softly so as not to ruin the moment. You groan and untangle from Sam, making the older girl pout. Your lips meet in a chaste kiss before Anika finally tugs you away, too afraid of your new professor to be late.

You look back one last time to see Sam angled to your friends, giving them a piece of her mind by the looks of it.

It's not until you're done with your last class that Tata finds you in one of the halls.

"Y/n! Wait," she calls out, jogging to you.

You fiddle with your fingers, not really prepared for the conversation that's about to take place.

"God, you're fast," she gasps, using your shoulder for support as she bends over.

She takes her time getting her breathing under control and her hand feels scalding hot on your shoulder, making you squirm uncomfortably.

Finally, after a long moment, she looks up, a guilty look on her face, "I'm sorry," she starts, worrying a strap of her backpack. "For earlier. For accusing you and being a bitch."

You want to protest - you don't think she was being a bitch - but she stops you with a pointed look.

"Let me apologize." She waits for your nod before continuing. "You didn't deserve us jumping you like that, it's unfair to you. I just… It still hurts, you know? My best friend made a pin cushion out of me, and this situation is just a big fucking reminder. Because… you're my best friend, okay? You're like a breath of fresh fucking air and I love you for it, but every time someone gets attacked my brain just immediately goes to the worst case scenario and I can't help it." The words rush out and there's a steady stream of tears running down her cheeks. You desperately want to pull her in a hug, but she has your hands in a vice grip, keeping you in place, needing you to listen. "But I don't want to lose you. Not to Ghostface, and not because I was too afraid to trust you. So please, please, don't hurt me, okay? And don't hurt Sam. Don't you dare hurt Sam."

You barely manage a shaky nod before you're pulled in a bone crushing hug. You hold her close, blinking away tears as she cries freely into your shirt, her shoulders shaking with quiet sobs.

"I promise," you whisper, a plan already forming in your head.

×××

In your defense, you've sent Sam a text the second you stepped inside your apartment.

Bailey called later in the evening, apologizing profusely and claiming he needed her at the station again. She left only after you promised her you'd stay home this time, no matter what. As expected, Tara went with her, leaving you with Quinn who invited yet another fling to the apartment.

So you took your chance and rushed to your place. You did cross your fingers when you made that promise, after all.

You don't want to unnecessarily worry Sam and you're sure she won't be able to read the text until she's done at the station, so you hide a knife under one of your cushions and settle on your couch to wait.

You're sure Ghostface will show up.

You ignore the rising panic in your chest. You know you have to do this for your sake and for the sake of your friends, no matter how scary it is.

You've had an urge to do this for weeks, but you were never brave enough, preferring to stay in the safety of Sam's room. Now it's necessary. Now it feels like your only option. And your conversation with Tara only spurred you on.

You don't know how many of them there are, but you know that the one you need will show up sooner or later.

Minutes tickle by and you grow restless, shifting unnecessarily and looking at every visible corner, jumping up every time a car passes by your apartment.

Eventually, your exhaustion from the night before spent running around and panicking catches up to you and you nod off, falling into a deep sleep on your fluffy couch.

You wake up to continuous tapping against your coffee table.

You yawn and rub your eyes, before groaning and stretching your stiff neck. You blink, adjusting to the darkness in the room, your hand nudging against something sharp, and that's when you fully wake, jumping up in alert and grasping the knife in a tight grip. You slowly turn to face the source of the sound.

Ghostface sits on the loveseat, her legs crossed and her posture entirely relaxed as she playfully taps her knife against the glass of your coffee table.

You take a second to gather your courage and lunge.

_________________________

Literally Sam when R did that:

[writerblue275]

Heartsteel Ranking: “Scary boyfriend privilege”

(AKA how intimidating they are to people who don’t know them.)

Inspiration: I’ll be honest this is a bit of a random ranking but I thought it would be fun to do and it was!

Champions: Heartsteel

Genre: Ranking

Type: Fluff? This is meant in a funny way.

Tw: Small mention of alcohol (drink responsibly y’all), and swearing (because I do, in fact, have the mouth of a damn sailor.)

List goes least intimidating to most intimidating.

LEAST

Ezreal (One of these days I will do a ranking that doesn’t put him at the bottom! I swear it’s not intentional! 😂)

Let’s be honest no one is shocked he’s here, right? Where else was Ez going to go on this list?? This isn’t a bad thing though! He just gives off such golden retriever energy and it’s amazing and I love him. I want to be at least best friends with HS Ezreal.

Despite the usual happy golden retriever energy, he’s definitely not afraid to tell people off/protect you though. (I feel like he secretly has quite a temper. He’s a Sagittarius after all [love my fellow 🔥 signs WOOT WOOT]. Usually he’s very good about keeping it under control…but if someone [besides you, he absolutely adores you] pushes him too far [ex: by making you uncomfortable]…just see what happens.)

Aphelios

You absolutely have scary boyfriend privilege with Aphelios, but I just can’t rank him higher than any of the other members below. He definitely has that “brooding silent type” down pat, and when he’s wearing his mask, that’s doubled. That air of mystery, baby, he’s got that in SPADES.

We also know he’s tall. Like not Sett, K’Sante, or Yone tall, but he’s got some height on him (unconfirmed 6’). Physically, he’s definitely more intimidating than Ez. Like imagine Phel silently staring daggers at someone. Lmao I’d hate to be whoever pissed him off.

K’Sante

Most of this comes from his height (unconfirmed 6’4”) and the fact he’s one of the gym bros. Like general vibe/personality-wise, I think Phel could be more-intimidating than K’Sante (or even Sett), but have you seen how just MASSIVE K’Sante is? HE CAN CANONICALLY BENCH SETT. Like 😮😮😮

Not to mention I feel like he’d always stick close to you in public, so no one would even dream of trying to do anything to you. (Unless they’re a whole dumbass.) K’Sante genuinely gives me very kind vibes, but he definitely protects those he loves very fiercely.

Sett

Sett is (unconfirmed) 6’7” (at least confirmed the tallest in the group), and JACKED AS HELL. Not to mention “allergic” to sleeves so those arms are out most of the time lmao. Only a fucking moron (or someone who is incredibly drunk) would look at Settrigh and go “oh yeah I am absolutely going to mess with this guy.” RIP that idiot.

He also doesn’t fuck around about the safety of the people he loves. Sett genuinely seems like the sweetest guy (I love this giant, ripped, sewing himbo so fucking much oh my fucking god) but he can/will be intentionally intimidating if it’s necessary to keep you or Ma safe (the two most important figures in his life 🥺). Will walk you home/keep you close to him in crowded situations. He always wants you to feel safe when you’re with him (you absolutely do like how could you not?).

Kayn

So this is based on both appearance and reputation. Obviously Kayn has quite the reputation from his last band (as well as being kicked out of it.) Appearance-wise, he’s not super tall, but he’s tall enough. Not to mention the piercings, tattoos, the fact he’s also in excellent shape (I mean we all saw those abs 😏), has vibrant dyed hair, a very bright red eye, and he is a total metal head. He can also, um, travel through WALLS. (Small detail lol.)

DO I EVEN HAVE TO MENTION RHAAST (even as his stage alter ego)???? Kayn can be pretty impulsive and sometimes acts first, thinks later. (He’s currently working on that with Yone, it’s fine.) Someone would be a damn fool to fuck with him or you. He just gives me very loyal guard dog vibes. (I mean he did wear the damn leash in the mv so….😝)

Yone

There is no one (let me repeat: NO ONE) I’d want to fuck with less than Yone. This man has quintessential resting bitch face (RBF), is like 6’ 2-3” (unconfirmed), in very good shaped (based on the lovely titty window of his outfit. Thank you, Riot designers) and is able to (mostly) wrangle the rest of the group. Also (hella obvious but) HE’S AN INTROVERT (INFJ specifically). People are NOT his thing (fucking MOOD).

Yone is the one who gives the most similar vibes to the TikToks I’ve seen that show cosplayers at Cons with their scarier-dressed friends/partners following behind them keeping them safe. (For Yone, it’s the RBF/air of mystery that really sets the tone.) He gives me such mature gentleman vibes as well. He’s always going to walk you home especially at night, or he’ll stay by your side in a crowd and you are just going to feel really safe with him. Top-tier scary boyfriend privilege right there.

Most

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Ok so the least and most intimidating were extremely obvious to me. It was everyone else in between that made things difficult. This was really fun to write though, even if the concept is a bit silly! 😂

[madelynraemunson]

mini series

GO BACK | NEXT LEVEL 🔒 | theme song: new divide - linkin park

player zero: level one

ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴍᴇᴛᴀQᴜᴇꜱᴛ ᴄʜᴏᴏꜱᴇꜱ ʏᴏᴜ — ᴀ ꜱᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ꜱᴜᴘᴇʀ ꜰᴀɴ — ᴛᴏ ᴛᴇꜱᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠɪʀᴛᴜᴀʟ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴛʏ (ᴠʀ) ɢᴀᴍᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱ ᴠᴇɢᴀꜱ ꜱᴘʜᴇʀᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏᴍᴇʜᴏᴡ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟ ꜱʜᴏᴡ.

I remember black skies, the lightning all around me.

disclaimers: 18+, psychological thriller, blood, violence, sexual themes, swearing, reader interacts with the st characters, eddie falls for reader who goes by “zero/000, player zero”, reader’s gender identity isn’t specified but does have a vagina, unintentional plot divergence, upside down exists, vecna/001/henry exists, everything is basically canon until reader shows up… 😳, joseph quinn cameo at the end | pairing: eddie munson x reader x joseph quinn

a/n: enjoy everyone! i’m sorry this took so long to come out but i am committed to only releasing my best work to you guys 🩶 i hope you all enjoy level 001!!

[WC: 2.0k words]

“Player Zero…do you copy?”

🎮

By the grace of your headset, you begin to scan the dark, almost void-like, aperture that’s hijacked your surroundings.

“Copy,” you report back to James.

“Excellent.”

Everything around you is black, a noisy puddle sits at your feet. The room is crisp from the AC, and the props smell like rubber tires. And soon, with a push of a button, you will come face to face with the Mind Flayer, saving everyone from this ill-fated town once and for all.

You can’t believe this. What thousands will pay to do, you get to experience for free, having been one of the few selected to try out the new Stranger Things: Virtual Reality Game at the Las Vegas Sphere. (Not to mention, you're the biggest Stranger Things fan in your hometown and quite possibly the biggest Joseph Quinn fan in the state of Nevada).

Eddie's death left you completely shattered. He just fit in so well with the older members of the party that you were almost certain the Duffers would keep him around. But to your despair, alongside many others, they did what they do best and killed off another fan favorite.

But there was something beautiful that came out of Eddie's death. Because of Stranger Things 4, Joseph Quinn has been getting booked for acting gigs left and right, getting asked to come to fan conventions, and you were able to find a community on Tumblr who shared the same love for him and Eddie Munson, and with that notion alone, means the silly metalhead lives on through you guys.

Your dream is to meet Joe one day. You’ve been frantically saving up for the day you get to hug him and thank him for everything he’s done for you and others. Whenever that may be. Until then, all you could do is support his work and contribute to all of his supporting franchises. Much like this one.

“I can’t wait to tell all my mutuals all about this game,” you think to yourself.

James permits you to walk around in order to adapt to your environment. You’re already planning what to tell your friends based on your observations so far. But since pictures aren't allowed, your phone remains in your back pocket for the time being.

“Alright Player Zero,” your guide further instructs you. “You’re going to walk through the gate. And from there the game will begin.”

“And what if I need to pee?”

The comment earns you a chuckle from James. “That’s fine. You’ll just have to take your headset off and call out to me.”

James asks you if you have any other questions. You couldn’t help yourself.

“Will I interact with any characters? Like Eddie?”

“No Eddie unfortunately, it’s primarily the Mind Flayer,” James answers honestly. “Goal of the game is to fight the monster.”

“Understood,” you pout in disappointment.

“Hey but I’ll be surprised if you run into anyone though,” James laughs. “Tell ‘em I say hi if you do.”

Just then, a neon orange projection appears from the corner of your eyes, followed by some squelching noises that gnaw uncomfortably at your ears. And as you get closer to it, you can hear the shrieks of some very familiar, unearthly creatures.

“Walk through the gate now, Zero,” James instructs you.

You take a deep breath, a little scared at how vivid the graphics are but reassuring yourself that all of this is just a game.

“Walking,” you report.

Hobbling into the gate, the synthetic warmth massages your ankle as you squeeze your way on in. You land on the bottom tier, a floor below the floor you started on... one that you weren't aware existed until you continued to walk around.

“This isn’t so bad,” you mutter to yourself.

Just then, the noise around you cuts off and your headset broadcasts to black.

Tssssss.

Unsure whether or not this was part of the game, you continue to tread around the nothingness that is around you. Holding your arms out to keep your balance doesn’t seem to help, because the more you graze onto nothing, the more panicked you become.

This is odd. Where’s the Mind Flayer?

“James?!” you call out, your heart nearly beating out of your chest now.

Nothing.

Suddenly, obnoxious TV static overpowers your headspace. It’s accompanied by lightheadedness, the brightness of it all mercilessly stinging your eyes, and the high-pitched feedback noise that soon fills your ears is probably enough to make you go deaf for the day. Great, now you know why this is a trial run.

“James!” you hiss again quietly. “Anyone?!”

No response. You were never warned about this part. Was this even supposed to happen?

Absolutely frustrated now, you reach for your headset to get out of the game yourself. But to your surprise, you’re stunned to have gotten two palms full of your hair, and part of your face. There was no headset on your head. You’re walking in a void of nothingness, with no one around to help you.

“I need to pee…” is your final attempt to connect with somebody.

The ear-piercing, scratching sounds start up once again. This time grainier, louder. It continues for a while as you run around in a panic before halting to complete radio. silence.

“Wh-” you pant. “What’s happeni-”

JOLT!

“OH SHIT!”

You’re then met with an abrupt, devastating PUSH that sends you flying across the room and down — what you could only describe as — an endless black hole. Your hand clutches at your chest as an attempt to soothe yourself. You’re almost sure your heart stopped for a minute due to absolute shock.

SMACK!

In a millisecond, your body lands on a prickly patch that you soon make up to be loose straws of hay. Blending into the scenery now is that of a remote grass field, with the smell of fresh trees and newly cut blades of grass dancing around your nose.

You can’t think of any place in Las Vegas that would have a barren field like this. Nor can you think of a town nearby with this much of a Midwestern flare, this much empty — and grassy — land, and this much Kodak green undertone to its atmosphere. Unless…

It can’t possibly be. Are you in Hawkins?

You're standing around like an idiot trying to figure out how this could've possibly happened.

You knew this experience was 'all-immersive', but judging by the description, you were supposed to be taken to the Upside Down... and the backwoods by Reefer Rick's hideout was a long commute from. Was this Mind Fight going to be after-the-fact?

Trudging towards Reefer Rick’s now, you begin to think of other ways to get James' attention. But when you hear the faint voice of someone else coming from inside the abandoned lake house, suddenly getting out of the game becomes less of a priority.

“Eddie…” the familiar voice softly commands.

Eddie?

The voice you register belongs to no one other than Gaten Matarazzo, or Dustin Henderson in this sense. But that’s impossible, you think to yourself. James said that there were no characters in the game.

“We are on... your side...”

Oh, it’s this scene. Peaking through the door that was open a mere three inches, you're stunned to see the four dimensional manifestations of the characters you've grown to love right in front of your very eyes.

IMPOSSIBLE.

It's them. You almost stumble backwards when you see Sadie Sink and Maya Hawke alongside Gaten; and despite having their backs towards you, you know it is for sure them, and not some workers hired to play the part.

Your eyes travel to the corner of the room. Very much to your surprise, evident by the butterflies in your stomach, you're met with Joe Keery as Steve Harrington, and Joseph Quinn... the love of your life... in the flesh... your Eddie. Both characters are too focused on each other to even register your presence. If they are even able to see you at all.

You continue to be the fly on the wall while taking a few collected deep breaths. There's no way that they're in front of you right now. There's no way a whole SCENE from the show is panning out in front of you right now. Almost as if it's real time.

“I swear on my mother!” Gaten Dustin continues, trying to reason with Eddie so he can drop the knife and let go of Steve. He turns to the others for help.

“Right?! Guys?!”

“Yes, yes we swear,” the party clamors together in attempts to calm Eddie down.

“On Dustin’s mother,” Maya Robin attempts.

“Yeah, Dustin’s…Dustin’s mother…”

Keery’s voice is strained as he gulps in fear. Reasonably so, because there’s a knife pointed at his throat in this scene.

You clear yours at the doorway, causing everyone to deadpan to you in shock. So they can see you. And sure enough when this happens, that’s when your gaze lands on him. And his gaze lands on you.

It’s insane. It’s like you are looking Joseph Quinn in the eyes, but at the same time, it’s not him. It is literally — Eddie Munson. He's even more beautiful than you imagined.

“On Dustin’s mother?” you speak.

“Jesus, where did YOU spawn from?!” Gaten Dustin exclaims.

“Who’s that?” Sadie Max wonders.

“I…don’t know,” Maya Robin answers.

Immediately, Dustin runs to shield Eddie from your sight. But it’s already too late. And plus, Eddie’s eyes have already met yours. Studied yours.

“I’m…” you speak. “I’m here to help.”

You figured while James figures out what the actual fuck is wrong, that you’d interact with the characters. They’re right in front of you after all, and actually responding.

"I'm Zero..." you explain to them. "I'm not... I'm not from here, but I know a hell of a lot about this place. A lot more than you guys think."

“You know about what’s going on around here?” Robin inquires.

You nod. “And I know part of who is behind it all, and what we can do to stop him.”

"H...him?"

Eddie's timid stare pierces straight into you. It's enough for your knees to buckle, but you know you have to keep yourself collected otherwise the projections of these characters would probably freak out at you.

You hear a tiny thud sound against the wooden floor. Eddie has dropped the knife. Breathing a sigh of relief now, Steve sinks to the ground to gather himself. Meanwhile, a small circle gathers around you.

“There are… greater forces at bay,” you explain. “And it goes way beyond what you know about the demogorgons, the shadow monster, the Mind Flayer… There’s this... really powerful warlock…and a shadow that looms over him to do some really horrible things. And it’s not who you’d expect.”

“You know about those too?” Steve asks.

You nod. Eddie only seems more confused.

"A lot more than you know..." you warn him. "Trust."

"What else do you know about?" Dustin questions.

"I know about Eleven, and Will," you answer. "And how they're safer in California than here, but that doesn't necessarily exempt them from danger."

They all exchange looks with one another.

You can't help but look over at Eddie again.

"I know what happened to Chrissy," you say to him. He looks back up at you. "She's that nice girl from the middle school talent show, right?"

"I left her there," is all he says. He knows you understand what he meant by it. "I'm just a coward."

"You're not a coward, Eddie. Nothing you could've done could've prevented what happened at the trailer."

“Zero…” Dustin whispers to himself. Then he looks up at you with suspicion. Pointing an accusatory finger at you, he says, "How do we know you weren't sent by Hawkins Lab to spy on us?! You're a number after all."

"I'm not a number from the lab, trust me," you roll your eyes, slightly annoyed at Curly and his superstition. But it makes sense. "I don't even know Eleven, okay? Just think of me as... a guardian. From another universe. I think I was sent here to help you guys. I know how this shit ends, after all."

“How does it end?” Eddie asks you. “F-for us? For me?”

You turn to him in anguish.

“Not well, I’m afraid,” you respond honestly. “But if you guys are open to my help, I can get us out of this mess unscathed. Build up some leeway.”

You turn to Max who only seems to be backing further away from you. It's definitely in her character to do so, Maxine has always struggled to ask for help. But you know, deep down in those fearful blue eyes, she wants your help as much as she wants to run away from it.

"And we're gonna break you out of that curse," you say to her.

You're no expert on the laws of space-time, but it doesn't take a scientist to realize that you're in a different Hawkins reality. And knowing there are countless outcomes and experiences for existence, you can make this reality your own.

Which means, if you choose to stay in this 'game', and play the cards correctly, the Eddie standing directly in front of you has a second chance at life.

Now’s your chance to fix it. And experience an altered timeline. You don't know how this is possible, but it is. And after all, the Rule of Probability states, "the probability of an impossible event is Zero."

“If you guys want to save everyone in Hawkins, including Eddie and Max, you guys have to do EXACTLY what I say do you understand?”

taglist: @winchester-angel, @arthurcerverogf, @damon-loves-pie, @breezybeesposts, @swiss-mrs,@leelei1980, @skulliecadaver-blog, @katethetank, @mexicanfolklore, @ali-r3n, @nailbatanddungeon, @hugdealer, @wtflindsay, @yourdailymemedelivery, @kellsck, @kthomps914, @daydream-believer19

cyberpunk dividers from: @k1ssyoursister @sillycircus-decoarchive

[yazthebookish]

I posted my take on the Lightsinger theory and Gwyn's "luring" powers theory on Reddit two days ago but thought I'll reshare it here (with some additional thoughts)

The only canon information we have on Lightsingers:

Nesta winced. Cassian went on as she scanned the bog, "There are lightsingers: lovely, ethereal beings who will lure you, appearing as friendly faces when you are lost. Only when you're in their arms will you see their true faces, and they aren't fair at all. The horror of it is the last thing you see before they drown you in the bog. But they kill for sport, not food."

Does this correlate with anything Gwyn did in ACOSF? The answer is no.

I am not saying it is impossible for her to be a Lightsinger though where things stand it's unlikely in my opinion, but I'd attribute any potential powers either singing or glowing to her River Nymph heritage. We have no idea of her powers and she's also half High Fae of course she'll have powers like every other High Fae.

I think a lot of the "canon evidence" are different interpretations of the text but sometimes try to present itself as concrete evidence or proof when it isn't. Some attribute her singing during the services as the cause to Nesta having vision of the Prison and the Harp, but that also means we will have to ask what connection is there between Lightsingers and the Prison/Harp? And some believe it's the lyrics that trigger the vision as they're written in the ancient language and "Nesta saw what the song spoke of". Some believe Nesta power reacting to the crackling energy around Gwyn is a sign that she is a Lightsinger, but like... that's an indicator she has powers just like how Nesta in a later chapter felt Merrill's ornerry power. How is crackling energy means it's a Lightsinger when we never saw them? Powers recognize each other sometimes, just like how Feyre was surprised when Eris was able to detect a cold flame in the Dagger Nesta forged when it was given to him as a gift (like calls to like, Eris also has flame power).

In the bonus chapter, it's described at one point that the Shadows danced with Gwyn's breath as if it heard some Silent MUSIC (emphasis on music and not song). What was referred to as Music between Souls? The mating bond. Interestingly enough it was that same night when Nessian consummated their bond and they were connected by a music between their souls. So that could be a hint, and at the end of the scene Azriel hears a distant beautiful singing and the shadows sing back, hard to tell whether if it's Gwyn, who went back to trying to cut the ribbon, starts to sing or it's also another wording for a hint at the mating bond (also called the Song of the Soul).

I'm more keen to believe it's the mating bond because there are far more parallels and similar mate language to support it across all her three series and if someone is going to tell me "but Lorcan's chest glowed after he took the blood oath from Aelin—" my love context matters in this case and it doesn't invalidate the 10+ examples I can pull out of similar mate language like in the bonus chapter.

To ADD, for Azriel to be lured to the library at 7pm because of said Lightsinger singing, he has to be able to HEAR the singing for the power to influence him and Azriel didn't hear any singing, he was conscious and aware of his actions. It was mentioned Nesta sang with Gwyn at the services frequently and she didn't make any comments on a vision being triggered or her constantly seeking out Gwyn so there are holes in those kind of conclusions—again, because we never see Lightsingers on page.

"But when he arrives to the library it chimed 7pm!! That's when they sing for the dusk service" welp that's another hole in the theory, it depends on Azriel being drawn to the library because of Gwyn's singing but if he showed up at the library and they don't sing until 7pm then before the clock chimes at 7pm, they weren't singing so... not a convincing answer. Also, Clotho is usually seen during those services and Azriel still found her at her desk.

Early on when ACOSF came out, some readers made connections between Lightsingers and Shadowsingers and made the assumption that Lightsingers are the Shadowsingers' Light counterparts. That's why you had people musing about Azriel's mate being a Lightsinger, but canonically Lightsingers are evil once we go back to the text but we don't even see them to know for sure how they wield their powers or if they even sing because Shadowsinger Azriel doesn't need to sing when he uses his power.

In an Elain book (in this scenario it's her and Azriel), I don't see any purpose of Gwyn being revealed as a Lightsinger or anything about her powers because it'll be used as a plot device for an Elain/Azriel romance rather than contribute to Gwyn's own growth and that's why I don't like it. It will have implications on Nesta and the Valkyries dynamic too. If that's the case it will mean Gwyn will need more page time in an Elain and Azriel book to tackle something like that, especially if they're going to "help" her since that's the reasoning I see often—that she's not evil but she doesn't know it and if she did they will help her but like... why? To make her realize she has been keeping them apart or that she wanted a necklace she didn't even have any clue about.

Given Gwyn's history who even at the end of the book said despite training it didn't erase the fact that she let her sister die, she is still dealing with survivor's guilt, she still refuses to wear the priestesses stone, and also her desire to leave the library and see the world (which we didn't see yet). She has a lot of promise as a character than be a plot device for someone else's relationship.

The way I see it, Gwyn's theoretical powers is used to absolve Azriel of any accountability for his actions (ala Necklacegate) because it's not a good look on him, so it's better to pin it on someone else by saying he was lured against his will (since I often see that the reasoning behind her presence in the bonus chapter is to hint at her powers).

So if I have to read about Gwyn dealing with her powers whether they're good or bad, I'd rather see it from her point of view and for it to be beneficial for her own personal arc and healing journey. My problem isn't her having questionable powers (which I don't mind because many SJM characters had questionable powers but used it for good), I don't want it to be used as a plot device for another couple just to smear her as a character and clear the actions of the other male character so his "love interest" doesn't blame him for his actions.

Whew, this was long but I adore Gwyn and I am not a fan of the current version of the Lightsinger theory. I think even if SJM makes it happen, it would probably play out way differently than the fandom expects.

Also, it's not in SJM's style to use other woman drama in her romances. The other women are often 💀 or insignificant past lovers. I don't see her taking that route with Gwyn at all.

She could be half Asteri and I would still love her and be eager to explore her powers and story, I just don't like it being used to further another couple's conflict or whatever (they already have Rhys and Lucien).

And no, I hate the idea of Gwyn being controlled by either Koschei or Merrill because it takes away her agency and the suggestion here is about her doing things that harms others, how will that not have any implications on Nesta and Emerie and the trio's healing journey? Given her own tragic history and the fact that she was helpless and powerless to help her twin sister and she's still dealing with survivor's guilt over it all.

"Why did you sign up for this, then?" Nesta drank the glass Gwyn extended. "If you already have mind-calming exercises you're accustomed to?"

"Because I don't ever want to feel powerless again," Gwyn said softly, and all those easy smiles and bright laughs were gone. Only stark, pained honesty shone in her remarkable eyes.

Her being controlled is putting her in a powerless position again because she has no choice but to do Koschei or "evil" Merrill's bidding that could potentially harm Nesta and the others. I despite it.

And if I have to read about any comparisons between Gwyn and Ianthe as proof that priestesses can be evil, I'll go insane.

Also, if Gwyn's power can influence anyone through her singing, it would've influenced every single person in the services. It would have influenced other members of the IC. This particular theory is weak and depends one interpretation of the text that tries to present itself as evidence of an evil creature that never even shows up on page.

Gwyn wasn't added in the bonus chapter by coincidence. Sarah confirmed she left crumbs all over the book and specifically his bonus chapter, and what we speculate may or may not be confirmed in the next book so you can't dismiss the bonus by saying it has no relevance when the author said she left crumbs for readers to theorize about, which leads me to believe she wants us to come up with different theories until she publishes the next book where we'll know for sure if we nailed it or not.

[sweeetcheeese]

Hi! I love your Druid!Jack au. Can you tell us more about it please? Also I would love to see more of the Hiccup of this Au. How different is he from the canon Hiccup?

AHADFHAHKDA thank you I love this question.

I have lots of ideas for this AU, and a lot of it is still kinda in the draft stage so I really only want to share the stuff that is more or less fact (in this AU). As far as Jack, the basics about him is that he is not a viking, or from Berk originally. He's from a neighboring island close to Berk, and his village was attacked by a group of "vikings" when he was a child. Stoick had heard of the attack, and being it was a territory close to Berk, took a group to investigate to try and determine who this group was and what they wanted. The concern was that this group was advancing on territory and would be attacking Berk next, but upon investigation, their motives were unclear, as they didn't seem to take anything of value, and it appeared as if they just wanted to level the village and kill the residents. (huehue mystery) Jack is one of the survivors they pull from the rubble, he's about 8 years old at this time. He develops a resentment for vikings because he confuses the two groups, and doesn't trust the people of Berk. Even as he grows up in Berk, he always holds some level of resentment towards vikings in general (because he believes that vikings had killed his family and destroyed his village), and deliberately does not call or consider himself a viking.

Part of this resentment is also fed by Berk's bad relationship with dragons at the time he lives there as a child.

Jack and Hiccup meet when Stoick brings Jack back to Berk, and they're both around 8-10 years old. Hiccup's first impression of Jack is that he's surely a wildling or something feral. At first, Jack is taken in by Astrid's family, and this results in him and Astrid actually forming a strong, sibling-like bond later on. However as Jack grows, he becomes more and more independent, and grows up just as this kid that sleeps in the Great Hall, is fed by various families and is just kind of like a stray, and doesn't stay in one place for long. This is entirely his own decision, as he felt staying with one family was too confining and he deliberately did not want to "become a viking".

Jack finds an order of druids, and decides to leave Berk and join them around the age of 13-14. This is set right before the events of the first movie. He visits Astrid when he can, and when he comes back, Hiccup has changed the village into accepting dragons, and their relationship starts to develop more. Also, Jack's view on vikings positively improves, because of Hiccup specifically.

As for Hiccup's differences, he really hasn't changed all that much. The events of the first and second movie still play out (aside from his relationship with Astrid), because its essential to his character development. His relationship with Jack started when they were around 15, and I want to say they get married towards the end of the second movie, or shortly after, so they're about 20-21. With Jack being a druid, the order he's part of requires him to be away for months at a time, mainly in the winter. This puts a strain on the relationship for both of them, and Hiccup is always kind of dealing with Jack being the free spirit he is, while Hiccup wants that freedom but is chief of Berk. On the flip side, Jack wants his freedom but also wants Hiccup. He struggles to find his place between both worlds, and still feels like an outsider a lot of the time in Berk, despite being married to the chief.

That's basically the setup for the AU, and like I said before I have tons of ideas for the current timeline, but that's still in progress XD Thank you for your questions! <3 Here's some extra WIP sketches for this AU too~ (NEHEHEHE ANGST)

[fiepige]

Who did Hobie make watches for?

Going through the movie and pausing at every scene with Hobie to look for more details for the 100th time and I just wanted to share something I noticed:

We know that Hobie made a watch for Gwen but not everyone in the new spider-gang are wearing watches made by Hobie in the end as far as I can tell:

We see Pav wearing a watch, it's a bit hard to see in detail (especially since he isn't wearing one in his own dimension to compare it to) but I'm assuming that Hobie made this one since it doesn't look at smooth as the spider-society watches. Also:

Pav's watch doesn't appear to have the lines around it like Hobie's does when he's wearing his HQ watch.

It's kinda hard to tell if Noir is even wearing a watch due to his coat but since we didn't see him at the society when the other members of the old spider gang (Peter B. and Penni) showed up I'm assuming he maybe wasn't even part of the spider-society (or maybe he just didn't want to help stop Miles from preventing his canon event). So my guess is Hobie made a watch for him too.

Both Ham and Margo appear to be wearing HQ watches (which means that maybe Noir is too since Ham apparently was a member of HQ even though he didn't show up earlier so maybe it's the same with Noir, what do you guys think?)

This makes me wonder if Hobie didn't have the time/resources to make more watches since I feel like them wearing HQ watches might be a disadvantage as Miguel might be able to track them (though maybe Hobie has disabled the tracking in their watches, it wouldn't suprise me if that was the case.)

Hobie is obviously wearing a watch he made since he ditched his old one when he left HQ.

I honestly couldn't get a close enough look at Peni to tell which watch she's wearing lol.

Peter B appears to still be wearing his HQ watch but it's kinda hard to tell for sure, it just looks kinda smooth to me.

But a cute detail I noticed is that Hobie might have made a day-pass for MayDay! It could also just be the one from HQ BUT she's not wearing it in the scene where Gwen shows up:

(To the left we see that she's only wearing a bracelet when she's home, to the right we see her wearing a day-pass at spider HQ)

It could just be the lighting but it looks like the one she's wearing at the end is a lighter shade of blue than the one from HQ)

So until we're told otherwise I headcanon that Hobie made a special day-pass for MayDay (which is super adorable if you ask me <3)

[inktailsaystuff]

Kaveh and Alhaitham Relationship Headcanons~

Tw: none

Pre-relationship~

Alhaitham was the #1 Kavetham denier

Kaveh was aware of his feelings and just kinda moped about it

Poor man thought Alhaitham didn't like him back so he would just be all sad

Alhaitham was in denial

He didn't even realize that he had been crushing on Kaveh for the longest time

He just thought that he had grown attached

Kaveh brings Alhaitham food whenever he goes out (THIS AINT A HEADCANON THIS IS CANON AND WE ALL KNOW IT)

Alhaitham's face is on like every page of Kaveh’s sketchbook

They bicker a lot but the moment Alhaitham thinks he's genuinely hurting Kaveh he gets all apologetic and switches topics

Because Alhaitham doesn't talk to people a lot Kaveh didn't really get jealous when someone flirted with Alhaitham

BUT ALHAITHAM- 

Naur this man was so down bad without even knowing it if someone got too “close” with Kaveh he would try to one-up whoever the offending person's intelligence

Everyone but Alhaitham can see how Kaveh is desperately pining after him

No one can see Alhaitham pining after Kaveh other than Nahida 

They just think it is an L for Kaveh and many people tell him to move on

(Kaveh does not move on)

When Kaveh gets too drunk and starts getting sad Alhaitham will “rEluCtanTly” console him.

Cyno and Tighnari have a bet on who will confess first because Tighnari heard with his massive ears Alhaitham consoling Kaveh while he was blackout drunk

Eventually Nahida steps in, after watching Alhaitham read every book in the library to try and figure out what his feelings are

Alhaitham denies the claims, and Nahida just is like: You gay. 

Kaveh confesses first and has this whole rant where he's like “I know you don't feel the same way and you can kick me out of your house.” 

Alhiatham just went “I like you too.” he won at life and was having an internal party

Cue awkward staring 

Alhaitham just kinda asked if Kaveh wanted to kiss and they did 

Dendro gays are official :D

Relationship~

They have separate rooms but despite that, Kaveh likes sleeping in Alhaitham's room since he likes being close to him

Alhaitham likes having Kaveh’s presence nearby

Alhaitham actually struggles to sleep if he can't feel Kaveh’s presence nearby 

When they get into an argument Alhaitham will steal Kaveh’s keys to force Kaveh to talk to him

Despite his appearance, Alhaitham requires at least one physical contact a day with Kaveh, aka buff abs man needs a kiss to function 

Alhaitham does not want Kaveh to move out, one time Kaveh mentioned it, and Alhaitham just flat-out said you're not leaving. 

Alhaitham doesn't do much physical contact but he just likes having Kaveh near him, like as long as Kaveh is within arms reach he is happy

They will have dates where Alhiatham reads and Kaveh draws him

Alhiatham fills Kaveh’s sketchbook more than ever 

Alhaitham likes looking at the drawings Kaveh made

Kaveh constantly gets hit on by other men because of how feminine he looks and Alhaitham just kinda glares

He wont say anything to get people to back off, he’ll just glare or move closer to Kaveh

Alhaitham is so soft for Kaveh its like wild and at the same time hes the biggest jerk to Kaveh

One of their love language is bickering, 

No you can't change my mind

They will nitpick each other's tastes but never go as far as to actually hurt each other's feelings

When Kaveh cries Alhaitham just throws all his brain cells out the window, now he is just fussing over Kaveh, holding him and whispering reassurances his brain turns to mush and the only thought is to make Kaveh feel better

If anyone other than Kaveh knew about this he would kill himself he never wants this to get out

Inktail’s Dendro bonus of a wedding plan~

They both get each other rings, well Kaveh makes his for Alhaitham, and Alhaitham just buys one.

Kaveh took on like a million commissions so he could get the materials for the ring

He has an entire sketchbook dedicated to ring designs

Alhaitham just gets a simple gold ring with their names engraved (it costs more mora than the rent)

Alhaitham proposes first and after calming down a Kaveh crying from joy Alhiatham receives his ring. 

While it is somewhat bedazzled and has a pair of jewels Alhiatham still wears it since Kaveh gave it to him  

Kaveh got a green jewel that matched Alhaitham’s boob gem 

Kaveh cried at their wedding, 

Alhaitham was internally combusting at their wedding

Nahida was the officiator

Collei was the flower girl

And Scaramouche was the makeup artist

[randomspagetti]

Root Spagots Theory Crafting EP 1:

What Actually Caused Dark Choco's Eye injury?

(a rehash of new information/still no answer but a disproving of one theory)

Let's first start with the facts:

1) His conversation with his father right before he attacked him was somewhat civil

2) His CROB outfit was what he looked like right before he attacked his father. We can make this inference based on his shadow during his recalling of the event

3) His injury appears to be from either an upward or a downward slash/injury

4) The eye injury is clearly recently wrapped and the prince of a kingdom wouldn't be left with bl00died bandages, even for one like DCK (especially due to what I'm guessing is high mortality rates due to the watchers occupation)

5) While Cacao is seen to have some anger issues, which has prompted some people to assume he gave Choco the injury before or after his betrayal, Dark Cacao isn't seen to be physically violent unprompted. The only three times were:

1- Clotted telling them WL was Dark Enchantress. (Which given what DE has done, would be a serious accusation/derogatory label to someone he doesn't know is dead or not, and is a close friend)

(((keep in mind for this Dark Enchantress destroyed Golden Cheeses kingdom killing hundreds (something Cacao knew))))

2- The conversation with Dark Choco on the wall, AFTER he admits he's with COD and is helping a known terrorist who hurt his kingdom and friends. (He also threatened to kill innocent people if he didn't get Cacao's Souljam)

3- After Choco tried to kill him for the second time.

Along with what inevitably makes the "Cacao gave Choco his eye injury" crumble (lol) are two other facts.

As previously mentioned under (4) his injury is recently wrapped, jam seeping through the bandages in a way they wouldn't do unless it was either recent or Choco accidentally opened the wound again.

Opportunity and What We See.

Cacao wouldn't have the opportunity to defend himself by blinding Choco because he both

A) Seemed to be unarmed and wasn't even wielding his sword

B) Cacao was far too injured and based on what he said to Choco after, telling him to leave, had no intention to chase after him.

Along with the final additional fact that Cacao is canonically neglectful but not physically abusive, besides I've already stated how I feel about the physical abuse hc. Devsisters would not make one of their ancient heros (other than White Lily) an awful person.

The Cacao theory seems highly unlikely.

So. What did give Choco his injury?

To put it simply, while we have multiple possibilities, it's really just based on the one you want to believe.

In the background of this costume background there's a lot of arrows, which may point to it being an arrow injury. But at this point now, it looks like we won't be getting any answers.

Maybe in beast yeast the answer will finally be unveiled?

[I'm waiting for a special something to come in the mail for my art so that's why I gave you guys this]

[theladybarnes]

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ AND YOU SAW ME

▸ summary: Steve Harrington had hoped that he managed to fix his life after the events of last year. But he’s quick to learn that enemies aren’t always just regular school bullies. But also the troubling thoughts in ones head. Can he maintain his cool and help keep everyone safe? ▸ word count: 42.5k          ▸ warnings: angst, violence, semi-fluff, slight canon divergence, self hating, self pitying, smut and a dumb blonde bully

STEVE HARRINGTON POV from DON’T YOU WANT ME, BABY?

After the events of last year, Steve Harrington really thought he was on the right track to getting his life back to normal. He’s got his girl, it’s Senior year, and there’s no more creatures coming out from the walls of the Byers house. So why couldn’t he shake off the feeling that trouble was on its way?

The halls of Hawkins High School had been bustling with excitement the few days before Halloween. 

 With whispered plans of dates, hangouts, and even trick or treating. It was like everyone had an idea of what they wanted to do this year and Steve was slowly falling into the same emotions as the others. Especially when there was word of parties beginning to form. One of them in particular called out to Steve immediately.

 How could it not? He heard about it from the source themselves.

 “I don’t know. This party is slowly turning into a disaster.”

 “We’re literally so close to finishing up plans.”

 “But this is pretty last minute..”

 “So that just means we do things until we’re at our very last minute!” 

 Steve couldn’t help but stare over at you from his locker. Unable to tear his eyes away from the minute you excitedly came over to talk about some plans you two had talked about the night before. Apparently there was a party in the works. But Tina appeared to be more uneasy about the idea. You on the other hand leaned casually against her locker, an amused smirk on your face as she went on her ramblings. 

 You easily list out everything you guys needed to do left as if it were a simple grocery list. Making Steve wonder if there was anything you couldn’t do. How could you just appear to be so normal? Like nothing bad hasn’t happened to you? Wasn’t it only about a year ago that the two of you had been fighting for your lives against a faceless monster? How did you move on so quickly? 

 There were some nights where Steve would wake up with nightmares, unable to sleep due to the sounds of that monster playing in his mind. His eyes found your face again. 

 The smile on your face, though as dazzling as ever, was almost genuine. Steve had learned not too long ago that you were one to keep a pretty good poker face. No matter what was thrown at you, there would be hardly a sign of its effects on your face. Making each and every interaction have to be analyzed thoroughly. Not that he had that many to go based off of.

 Since the fight, all you’ve ever allowed him was a minute or two of your time. Mostly just to tell him to leave you alone or insult him. Things he could take in stride, honestly. He knows he messed up with you. Hell, he’s messed up with everyone. But you were the only one who kept up your grudge. Not yet able to forgive him. He hoped to fix that this year but so far he was failing.

 The sound of Tina’s laugh brought back his focus. You must have said something to make the other girl laugh. Her smile widened as she tried to control herself. You on the other hand, have your smile wide, but not reaching your eyes. The starry eyes he had been so entranced by the previous year had gone away too. He was beginning to think he might have jumped to assumptions too quickly about your well being. 

 “All right, So I’m covering snacks and you’re covering up the beer situation. All we need left is music.” Tina sighed, leaning against her locker. “Which will probably be the hardest. I don’t even know who has good music taste around here that’ll last a whole party.” She already looked a little defeated, but your composure remained relaxed. 

 Did anything ever make you crack?

 “Music is easy!” you clapped. “I talked to Kelly Lopez in Chem, and she told me there was this rad party from last year that had a guy. He’s in your grade I think.” You scratched at your head before snapping your fingers. “McCorklin?..Yeah, Danny McCorklin.”

 “Do you mean David McCorkle?” Steve asked out loud. Not realizing he’s just shown he was listening in on the two of you. 

 Instantly the two of you girls snapped your heads in his direction. You had a small shock on your face before you realized just who happened to butt in the conversation. It’s only a second for your face to sour up at him. “Wow, eavesdrop much?”

 Tina snorted a bit at that, amused easily by your attack before nudging at your shoulder. “He’s right though. It is David.”

 Steve cleared his throat, giving a small shrug as he took a step towards you guys. “Sorry, Trouble. Just heard you butchering the poor kid’s name.” he teased, wanting to ease you up. But you only narrowed your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest when Tina burst into a fit of giggles. 

 “Whatever.” you scoffed, turning your attention back to your friend. “Please ignore the giant wall of hair.” Tina raised a brow at Steve before she turned back to face you. “Kelly said that David has played at other people’s houses before. All you’d need to do is talk to him. See if he’s interested in coming and maybe bring his music.”

 Steve couldn’t help himself and step closer again, holding his hand up defensively at you. “What Kelly has failed to mention to sweet Trouble here, is that David hates being asked last minute to people’s parties. He’s got super strict parents and they totally rag on him for going out late.” 

 Moving to rest his elbow on your shoulder, he pointed down the hall. “He does, however, have a little sister named Margot. She’s a perky little Sophomore itching to hang out with his friends. Invite her and he’ll be forced to watch out for her.”

 The two of you glanced in the direction to where a mousy brunette girl was at her locker, packing away her books.

 “Harrington, you’re a genius.” Tina clapped, before ditching the two of you to quickly dash after the younger girl. It was only one second into the conversation that the girl’s face lit up.

 You slowly brought your hand up and shoved Steve’s elbow off your shoulder. “Are you serious?” you hissed. turning to glare up at him. He couldn’t help but think you looked pretty despite the anger towards him. 

 “What?” he asked, unsure why his helpful advice was calling for this reaction. “It was a sure way to get him to play! I-I was just trying to help.”

 You laughed sarcastically, shaking your head at Steve that he’s worried just what kind of mess he got into opening his mouth again. “As per usual, your help does nothing to actually do things in my favor, your highness.” 

 He pursed his lips, wanting to point out that there is at least one time where he did help out and things turned out good. But now wasn’t really the right time for that. “Wanna drop me a hint?” he asked hesitantly. 

 Sighing, you wiped a hand over your forehead before answering him. “I already went out of my way to ask David myself this morning when I got to school.”

 “If you already asked him then why did you–”

 You held up a hand and pointed over to Tina down the hall. “I wanted Tina to ask him because David confessed to me that he’s had a crush on her since last year and would love to play at her house. But, he was hoping if I could help get her to talk to him since he’s a little shy.”

 Steve gasped softly, not realizing how much he actually made things worse in his small effort of helping you out. 

 “Shit. I’m sor–”

 “Save it, Harrington.” you cut him off. “It’s not like you even knew anyway.” 

 For a second he thought you might be showing a bit of kindness. But from the way your frown slowly turned into a smirk, he knew there was something else on the end of your tongue.

 “I mean, how could you know? The world only revolves around you, right?”

 He sighed defeatedly knowing that this was usually the part where things got cut short. And just like before, you give him the similar look you only wore when you tried to distance yourself again. 

 “Hey, look, Trouble..”

 “It’s a costume party.” you interrupted, “So if you wanted to work on getting an outfit together, you should start on it, Bozo. Before the red noses are sold out.” 

 He stayed quiet watching now as you finally took your leave towards where Tina had gone. “Bozo..” he repeated before realizing what your suggestion meant. “Clown.” he mumbled to himself, turning towards the opposite direction. He was going to make his way over to find Nancy when he suddenly realized. 

 Did you just invite him to the party?

 THREE DAYS LATER, OCTOBER 30TH

 Steve had been working really hard that week. Not only did he make up a costume idea last minute with Nancy (Whom he had to convince to go to the party). But since he was a Senior, he had extra work he needed to sort through. Like college applications. The particular essay he spent the night on before, was proving to be the hardest thing so far. 

 It’s not good. He knows it. Just from reading it himself, he knows there's something off with. 

 It has him nearly distracted all morning. Even when picking up Nancy for school, he was half paying attention to whatever show she heard about. Driving to school purely on memory. Maybe he should ask if he could spend an extra hour in study hall toda—

 “Steve, watch out!”

 His foot instinctively pressed down on the break, making the car jerk for a moment in time to see the front end of a bike almost coming down to collide with him. Hitting the horn, he watched as the rider braked just in time and nearly fell off their bike to avoid the collision. 

 The rider turned their head to the car, making the two of them gasp at the sight of you. 

 “Whoa, didn’t see you coming there, Trouble.” Steve said calmly, despite the racing of his heart. He poked his head out of the window to look you over. 

 “I’m not surprised.” you scowled at him, fixing your footing. “Probably had all that hair on your face.” He feels deflated by your response. You won’t even give him eye contact. “Next time check your mirrors for others and not just for your face.”

 “That’s not what happened.” he tried, feeling his stomach turn a bit. You lean down a bit and peek inside the car to cast a glance over at Nancy.

 “Nevermind, I can see you were distracted by something else.”

 “Wait!” He called, wanting to explain that again your hate shouldn’t be on Nancy. Not when it was his fault. But you’re already riding off, heading towards the front of the school. A car beeped their horn behind him, reminding him to move on. 

 He quickly turned the car towards the parking lot, casually glancing at Nancy. Her attention was over her shoulder, looking onto where you rode over to Jonathan. It added onto the already building guilt in his stomach. Nancy was still dealing with the repercussions of dating him. 

 “Sorry.” he mumbled softly, trying to ignore his girlfriend’s sad gaze.

 “It’s okay, I get it.” she replied softly. Her hand reached out for his arm momentarily, giving it a light squeeze before her attention drifted down to the folder between them. He had just parked the car when he noticed her slowly pulling his admissions essay out. 

 “Fair warning, it’s shit.” he chuckled a bit, trying not to sound too bitter about the truth.

 “Hey, don’t say that!” Nancy chided lightly, giving Steve a small smile. “I’m sure it’s great. Can I read it?”

 He can tell by the smile on her face that Nancy’s trying her hardest to shift the mood. Especially when she’s sad enough with the anniversary of Barb coming up, so Steve smiled back. Nodding his head for her to go ahead and take a look at the paper. But it’s not long until he can see the furrow in her brow begin to form. Not even Nancy’s hopeful attitude can change the reception his paper was going to receive.

 He kept his gaze out towards the parking lot, trying his best not to let it get to him. But he can’t stop the words from coming out. And it’s like a vicious little monster building up inside his chest. All the things his Dad liked to yell at him for were starting to sound more right than he had hoped.

 Nancy does her best to try and help. Even going as far to pull out a pen and correct certain points in his paper that she was not following. But even if she handed him the whole essay full of attempts of her reorganizing, he knows that it won’t be enough. 

 He wanted to get some help from Nancy. At least with some sort of help from her, he might be able to put something together. But she’s quick to remind him about meeting with Barb’s parents for dinner that night. Something he shamefully hated doing. Not because the Hollands weren’t nice people, but because they were a horrible reminder of that night. No matter what he could do for the couple, whether it be to drop by for a hello, or attend one of their long dinners. There was nothing he nor Nancy could do to bring her back or explain what had truly happened to Barb. 

 So why couldn’t Nancy accept that instead of continuing this painful reminder with these dinners? How could she continue to endure their painful conversations of searching knowing that there was nothing either one of them could do to find her? She caught on quickly to Steve’s feelings and pushed for him to stay home to work on the essay. Insisting that it was okay. But there’s a sadness in her voice that chews at Steve and it’s enough that he’ll push down any other opinion in mind.

 “No, no, no. What’s the point?” he asked, crumbling up his only copy. A foolish thing to do. Especially in front of his already stressed girlfriend. But he can’t help it. He feels trapped in a path that’s not meant for him. But how can he get out of it when all his efforts seemed so..hopeless? Maybe he’d have to take up the offers his Dad always gave him. Follow his footsteps..

 “Hey, calm down.” Nancy frowned, looking taken back.

 “I’m calm. I’m calm.” he said, lying a little bit. “I’m just being honest. You know, I mean..I’ll end up working for my dad anyway.” he admitted, feeling the words sound heavy despite the truth behind them.

 “That’s not true.”

 “I don’t know, Nance.” He said, trying to convince himself what he’s relaying to her. “Is that such a bad thing? There’s insurance and benefits and all that adult stuff.”

 Her brows raised up when she looked away from him. He’s worried for a second she might be upset with everything, but he wants this scenario to sound more enticing. To sound like something she’ll be interested in the future. Their future..

 “If I took it, you know, I could be around for your Senior year.” he added, trying to lighten up the mood again. She looked over at him incredulously, like he shouldn’t even say something like that. But he wanted her to know it was serious to him. To watch out for her, make sure she was okay without him in the halls. 

 She didn’t have Barb around anymore and could use someone who understood everything she’s been through. 

 “Steve..” she started, but he couldn’t help but interject. 

 “Just to look after you a little bit. Make sure you don’t forget about this pretty face.” 

 She’s chuckling. That’s good. Hopefully amused now by what he was saying. But while he’s happy to see her crack a smile, he can’t stop from wanting her to understand that underneath the goofiness in his words, there’s a real truth in there. 

 “Nance, I’m serious.”

 She glanced back with a look he couldn’t quite place. Was it acceptance? Happiness? Or overwhelmed by everything he just threw onto her. Without thinking, he leaned to press a gentle kiss to her lips. Hoping that he’s able to put in a little emotion into that for her.

 Her face was shy when he pulled back. Something he was always curious about whenever they kissed these days. She wasn’t usually one for PDA but Steve felt such a heaviness in his heart for her, he had to find ways to pour it out.

 “I love you.” he reminded her, needing her to hear it at this moment.

 Her lips curved into a small but genuine smile. “I love you, too.”

 A loud car engine revved loudly outside the car. Cutting into the conversation and causing the two of them to break eye contact in order to peer out the windows. Opening up the door, Steve and Nancy both climbed out of their seats to find where the source of the noise pollution was. Racing into the parking lot was a pretty cool looking blue Camaro. A car that Steve would usually find nice if it weren’t for the screeching from its driver.

 In the back of the car was a noticeable blue and yellow California license plate. Very odd.

 The first person Steve saw come out of the car was a fiery redhead skating her way towards the middle school. A scowl etched on her pale face. Whatever was going on with her was pretty rough if that’s how she looked starting her mornings. 

 Not long after, a boy that looked around his age closed the door to his car out with a similar look to the girl’s on his face. Seemed like the car ride wasn’t fun for either rider. It’s not until Steve notices that he’s putting out a cigarette that he realized this kid was new.

 “Who is that?” Nancy asked aloud, watching as he made his way over towards the entrance of the school. All around him students began to gawk and stare as the boy strode confidently past everyone. It’s not until he neared the doors to the school that he stopped suddenly. His gaze stayed focused on you while you spoke animatedly to Jonathan. He watched curiously, head titling a bit as he slowly began to walk again.

 Why the hell was he watching you like that? Steve thought to himself. It was totally weird. But before he could voice that concern out, the boy suddenly yelled out to you.

 “HEY, HENDERSON!”

 Wait, how the hell does he know your name?

 Before Steve could register anything else, he watched as this boy approached you, wrapping his arms around you and pressed you closely to his front. The look in your eyes is a mixture of shock and..fear. 

 But that couldn’t be right. You weren’t afraid of anyone. 

 The blonde slowly pinched at your chin, tilting your gaze up towards him before he swooped in and pressed his lips roughly against yours. 

 A fire flushed over Steve’s face. A feeling he hasn’t felt in quite a while. Who the hell was this guy and why did he just kiss you like that in front of the whole school? From his spot he could see as you struggled against the guy’s hold, pulling back from the kiss with a frown on your face. 

 “She’s upset.” Nancy gasped softly. He squeezed against the side of his car door, unsure if he should make a move over or not. 

 Your eyes glance around you at the sudden audience you probably weren’t expecting. Soon enough landing on where the two of them stood. Your eyes widen at that and you’re quickly pushing out of the boy’s grip. Jonathan thankfully seemed to catch onto your discomfort and quickly stepped in as a barrier. 

 Before the new guy could do anything else, you pulled Jonathan close and turned to enter inside the school. Almost like you were running away.

 “Okay, that was seriously weird. Who is that?” Nancy said, turning to look at Steve. He quickly covered up the shock on his face. He doesn’t know why he’s so suddenly upset by it, but doesn’t want Nancy to see it. But really, from the look on her face, he thought she might be on the same boat as he is.

 “I don’t know..but I’m gonna find out.”

  Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be until the next day that Steve managed to find you by your locker. 

 The entire day before had been an ultimate failure and the only thing he managed to do right at the end of it was entertain the Hollands during dinner while Nancy wandered off in their house. After hearing the news of their plans to sell their home in hopes of using the money to increase their efforts in finding their daughter, Nancy had become distant and upset. Making the car ride home somewhat painful as Steve tried to cheer her up.

 But it’s a new day and he’s hoping that the Halloween spirit will perk everyone up again. Who doesn’t love Halloween?

 Turning down the hall to your locker, he noticed that you’re practically covering your whole upper body with how deep you were inside. Making sure to conceal most of yourself from anyone passing by. 

 “Who are we hiding from today?” 

 There’s a stiffness in your body when you hear his voice. Making Steve hope that he didn’t just scare you while trying to check up on you. “I’m not hiding.” You muttered, still deep within the metal locker. “I’m looking for something.”  

 He found it amusing that you were attempting to lie about it when it was clear to him and anyone passing by really, just how badly you were trying to hide yourself. The teasing words couldn’t help but slip out as he playfully tapped against the metal door. “And that requires you to practically climb inside?” 

 “What do you want, Harrington?” you asked after finally coming out with a book in your hands. There’s a small glare on your face that had him running his hand through his hair nervously.

 Honestly, there wasn’t a good answer in his mind. How could he explain to you that something in his gut twisted at whatever he saw yesterday? But in a completely normal way because he cares about you like a friend. 

 And not for some other reason. 

 The only thing his mind could comprehend was one thing. And that was he did not like that look of fear he had seen on your face. “I just wanted to see if you’re okay.”

 “Why wouldn’t I be okay?” 

 “Well to start, that random new guy just walked right up to you and kissed you in front of everyone.”

 “He’s not random. I know him.” You shrugged nonchalantly. Like you didn’t practically peel yourself off from the guy’s grip. Even Nancy from right beside him could tell you were upset. So it wasn’t like Steve had gone crazy. Gently, he reached out and pulled you over to rest against the locker door. 

 “Who is he?”

 “It’s Billy. Okay? Can I go now?” you huffed, obviously wanting to end the conversation. But that didn’t phase the boy at all, what was psyching him out was the fact that your eyes were continuously checking over his shoulder. Like you were waiting for a sneak attack.

 “Am I supposed to know who that is?” he pressed, needing more info.

 “Billy is..my ex from back home.”

 EX?

 “The same ex from your story? That ex?” he asked, still perplexed. So many thoughts ran through Steve’s mind at that moment. How the hell did your ex from California make his way here in Hawkins? Did that mean you were going to get back together? Was that even what you wanted? Something about that very idea seemed to hurt his chest again.

 “Yes, Steve.” you sighed. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I should be heading to class.”

 The tiredness in your voice was blaring red alert. It wasn’t unusual for you to cut the talk short, but he can’t help but think back to the look of fear he had seen on your face. He had to push his luck press a little bit more. “Are you okay? Do you want me to get this guy off your back?” He reached out towards you. Suddenly needing to just..physically feel if you’re okay. Only the tip of his fingers had barely brushed over your soft skin before you pulled your arm away from him. As if he had some sort of disease.

 “Stand down, your highness. I don’t need you to come to my aid.”

 “Then why do you keep checking over my shoulder every few seconds?” he asked, hoping to stump your usual stubbornness. With anyone else Steve might be done with it and move on. But there’s always been something about you that had Steve making a fool of himself.  Like right now, with his horrible timing..

 “Since when should you of all people be concerned of my well being?” 

 “I’m just trying to help..”

 “Yeah? Because the last time you listened to my problems, that didn’t blow up in my face?”

 And there it was. 

 The usual fact that helped give you the winning words to finally end the conversation. He knew better than to press on after that. It would only make things worse. 

 What he didn’t know was how much he might have pressed a little too much today. Making you turn quickly from your exit to point a finger at him. “And stop talking to me like we’re friends. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression.” 

 He could only watch as you turned back in the direction from before, making your dash down the school hallway. Sighing, he tore himself away from your locker, giving one last glance at your backside before he left to join Nancy at study hall. Hopeful for the time alone with his girlfriend to help lighten his mood.

  The day doesn’t go on any better for Steve. After talking with Nancy in study hall, he’s sure that whatever is going on with her is deeper than he thought. 

 The very idea of spilling the truth to the Hollands terrified him. Not only for his sake but..everyone’s. Just how many of your guys’ lives would be turned for the worse from spilling one bit of the truth? He wished he could change things. Help give the couple some sort of relief. But not at the chance of hurting his family, or anyone else trapped in this. 

 It was too big a risk. How could someone as smart as Nancy not understand that? Why was she only seeing things with such a small perspective?

 He wanted to be like you. To move on so carefully and effortlessly that you’re going as far to help make a party for everyone to enjoy. And more than anything, he wished he could talk to you about it. Jonathan, while okay with him, was not a close friend. Nancy was going through her own mix of problems. But you? You were there too. But he’s unfortunately burned that bridge. He can’t talk to the only other person who would understand and maybe even help.

 “Your costume came out great.” Nancy muttered as she slid out of the car. 

 The trip to Tina’s had been a lot shorter than Steve had hoped. He wanted to try and check up on Nancy just once more in hopes to pick up her mood again. But when he had rolled up to her house, she had been already waiting outside at the end of her driveway. The same somber look on her face.

 “Thanks.” he said shyly, not quite expecting a nice remark after that afternoon. “You look beautiful as always. I think you matched your look best.” he noted, reaching out to pinch lightly at the hem of her sweater. She returned him with another muttered reply before looking towards the house. Somewhat distant from the conversation.

 That’s what it’s been like all day since the library and something in the pit of Steve’s stomach told him he should dive into that. Try to find out what he can do to fix it. But with Nancy’s offstandish reaction to his attempts of cheering her up, he’s a little bit lost at what to do. 

 The sound of Mötley Crüe blasting gave a comforting white noise to the lack of conversation between the two as they walked up towards the doors. One step inside and Steve felt a little relieved to see a normal party. Maybe this is what they needed. Just one night of doing nothing but stupid teenager stuff, right?

 He’d barely been in the doorway for a minute before he heard a familiar voice.

 “Got ourselves a new Keg King, Harrington.” Taunted Tommy. His former best friend. It’s been almost a whole year since Steve cut ties with the boy. While he was happy to no longer have to deal with Tommy Hagan or his crap. It didn’t stop him from feeling odd at how fast he switched from friend to foe. 

 “Yeah, that’s right. Eat it Harrington!” yelled Cody Conners from Basketball. Another friend he lost when dropping his former crew. 

 Between the two of them was Billy Hargrove. A name he had learned to hate within the school day. Aside from his connection to you, something about this guy brought a bad taste to Steve’s mouth. Even now, the unsavory sight of Billy drenched in what smelled like beer was unsettling as he stared off at Steve silently. 

 Nancy casually moved past the boys, ignoring the building tension between them as she made her way over to the kitchen. Leaving Steve alone to think of a clever way to get these guys off his back. But just as the thought came to mind, the front door behind him opened up roughly against him.

 “Oh God.” said a familiar voice. 

 Wedging their way through the front door and between both boys was you. He tore his gaze away from Billy’s deathly stare to take a look at what you were wearing. It was a self made devil costume. All red with a plastic pair of devil horns adorned on the top of your head. Steve couldn’t help himself as he stared wide eyed at the sight of you.

 It was probably the hottest thing anyone at this party could ever put together. The rim of your eyes were covered in dark kohl makeup, making your naturally cool stare look even more intimidating. Your usual free hair was slicked back against your head, almost like those models from the ads on tv. Then there were your lips. Sinfully covered in a red so captivating that Steve began to wonder if he had a thing for a color. 

 “Nice costume,” he said simply. The complete opposite of his thoughts. “Red suits you.”

 “It’s not a costume if she really is the devil.” Tommy sniggered. Most likely trying to gain approval from the latest ass he’s been kissing. But from the stoic glare on Billy’s face, it looked like he wasn’t amused with Tommy’s lame attempt to get under your skin.

 “I love when she’s dressed up hot and horny.” Billy smirked, looking over at you. There was a hunger to his eyes that had Steve feeling his chest tighten. This guy surely didn’t think he could just talk to you like that, right? He sucked in a sharp breath, ready to tell this guy off when you slowly stepped in between.

 “I’m still nauseous from your pick up lines from today, Billy. Maybe take another lap around the room before you try to come at me again.” The three boys almost looked shocked by your reaction. Probably not having seen that coming. “Or drop dead, either one!”

 With a quick pat to Billy’s glossy chest, you jet off into the party with a little bounce to your step. 

 Steve can’t help but smile at your tenacity. Admiring how you managed to return back to keeping anything thrown at you off your back. There’s a moment when you glanced over your shoulder, briefly making eye contact with Steve. 

 On your face was a small playful smile.

 He really hopes you have a good time tonight.

  “What is wrong with her?”

 Steve had been wiping off a bit of sweat from his forehead when he heard the sounds of one of the girls behind him. He turned around quickly, catching as Nancy yet again was over at the punch bowl. Something she had been doing all night long. 

 For some reason, Nancy was more upset than she let on. Her earlier jab at pretending to be stupid teenagers had stung a bit. But after she had a couple of drinks, he figured she had loosened up to the idea. Especially when they were dancing for so long after that. There was a moment when he caught you staring at the two of them curiously, making him nervous as to what caught your attention. But then you went on with your night and things seemed normal again.

 But now..now things have turned different. Nancy kept returning back to his side with a new cup every time he looked away. Steve was wondering just how much she’s actually had. She wasn’t a light weight, but she was definitely throwing back some harder stuff. Chasing after her, he quickly tried to put an end to her drinking. 

 The two of them look like a couple of kids fighting over a tv remote at the moment. Steve is trying his hardest to keep this drink out of her hands. But Nancy is already so drunk and so upset that he’s worried what will actually happen if he takes it away. But better to have her mad that get sick. 

 “Nance, put it down.” he argued, trying to keep the liquid from sloshing around.

 “Steve, stop!”

 “Stop. STOP.” 

 His fingers slipped around her slick hands and suddenly the cup flew back against her shirt. Spreading the dark red liquid across her bright white shirt. Everyone around them gasped as they took in the sight.

 “What the hell?” Nancy asked softly, giving Steve a glare before she swiftly left the living room. Heading upstairs towards the bathrooms. He’s not far after her, needing to help fix whatever the problem was there and now.

His hands covered up his face as he sat in the driver’s seat of his car. Trying to keep control of his overwhelming emotions. But every time he thought he gained back his breath, Nancy’s words echoed in his mind. Every word felt like a slap to his face. And he can’t help but hit his hand at the steering wheel in frustration.

 “You’re pretending like everything's okay.” 

 SLAP

 “You know, like we didn’t kill Barb.”

 SLAP

 “Like, we’re in love and we’re partying.”

 SLAP

 “This is bullshit.”

 SLAP

 “You’re bullshit.”

 He slapped once more before feeling a harsh pain go up the side of his arm. “Shit.” he hissed, looking at the palm of his hand. It was harsh and red, but for some reason not as painful as the beat in his chest.

 How could Nancy think that way? How could she say they were just pretending to be in love?..Didn’t she feel it with him? Didn’t she love him? How could she say it all this time and not even mean it?

 “You’re bullshit.” 

 The tears pricked the corner of his eyes and he quickly wiped them off. Not needing anyone at this party to get the chance to see him in such a pathetic state. He’s beyond upset, and he knows better than to go back in there. But at the same time, he realized he just left a drunken Nancy at the party alone.

 As if things weren’t bad enough, before he could even think about stepping out of his car to go back, he’s seeing the last thing he needed to see right now.

 Nancy, who didn’t look good at all, was holding onto Jonathan Byers. Someone he didn’t even know would be caught dead at a party like this. The boy was looking down at Nancy with such concern as he led her down the driveway. Talking gentle care with her as he walked the two of them over to his beat up car. 

 A part of Steve wanted to be upset with Jonathan. Because again, this was beginning to feel like last year. Only it would turn out that Steve was still the bad guy in this situation. Having been the one who left his girlfriend. Of course it would be easy for a good guy like Jonathan to step in and be the good hero. 

 So he sat pathetically in his car, letting the girl he loves be taken home by someone else who wasn’t bullshit. 

 He wondered for a moment if things would turn out differently had he just done what Nancy wanted to do. Let the Hollands in on the secret and possibly hurt the lives of those involved in this upside down mess. But even with all that, would all he thought was good in his life still be pretend?

 Steve quickly started up his car. Trying to ignore the ache in his chest so that he could go home and try to sleep away some of the hurt. He glanced over at the road, noting how some kids were beginning to walk away from the party and down the street. Possibly walking off the alcohol they’ve consumed. But it isn’t until he noticed a familiar red figure that he found himself pulling along the road side. 

 “Do you have any idea how dangerous it is for a girl like you to be walking around this late at night?”

 The sound of his stern voice caught you off guard. Making you stop walking for a moment. But you don’t reply. Instead, you keep walking, as if you didn’t hear him at all. He quickly shook his head and pressed down on the gas lightly to keep the car moving to follow after you. One glance at your feet and he can’t help but wince at the height of your heels.

 “Come on, Trouble. We both know walking in those kinda shoes can’t be comfortable.”

 Again you kept your gaze forward. Stubborn enough to possibly ignore the pain if it meant to keep up your usual avoidance. He glanced down the roadway knowing the familiar hills you’d been coming up to eventually.

 “It’s only gonna get more muddy from here, might ruin them.”

 That seemed to do it for you, making you quickly turn around and head over to the car. With a tug to the door, you entered his car. Hitting Steve with a small waft of whatever strong perfume you had been wearing tonight. When you slammed the door closed, you reached over for the seat belt. Struggling a bit as you attempted to lock yourself in.

 “Are you okay?” he asked worriedly. He peeked closer at your hands watching as it fumbled once more. “Henderson, are you drunk?”

 “No.” you drawled out. “I’m A-OK.” 

 He let out a heavy sigh. Wondering how everyone around him managed to get this drunk. One more glance to you and he noticed just how much goosebumps had risen up on your arms. So, he set the car in park and quickly shed off his jacket. It brought a small shiver up his spine to lose such warmth so fast, but he brushed it off to hand the jacket over to you. “Put it on before you freeze to death.”

 “So bossy!” you whined.

 “It’s for your benefit, Trouble. Just do it.”

 He watched as you pulled the fabric over you like a blanket. Bringing it up to your neck before you glanced over at him. “Happy?” you asked sarcastically.

 “Ecstatic,” he grumbled. Hating how you were upset with him for making sure you were okay. “Now, can I please take you home?”

 “Off we go Jeeves!” you yelled and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Your drunken state sure did like to try and annoy him. Or maybe it was his already bad mood ruining your playfulness. Right now he couldn’t tell. He instead focused on the road he drove the way over to your house.

 “You look like you’ve been crying.”

 He scoffed softly. No way could you have noticed that. 

 “Have not.”

 “Have too. Your eyes are red.”

 “They’re irritated. I have allergies.”

 “To what, your tears?”

 He stayed quiet. Unsure how to get around your cleverness. Even while drunk your keen observation skills were doing wonders against his distressed state. And though he wanted to keep quiet and avoid slipping out any of his current feelings, he can’t do that if it meant ignoring you. “How was your night?” he asked, in a poor attempt to change the subject.

 “It was shit. Boys suck.”

 “Hmm, girls suck too.” he said quickly. Unable to fully filter out his bitter mood. “Happy Halloween, eh?” While he’s disappointed that you didn’t have any sort of good night yourself, he’s somewhat relieved that he’s not alone in this

 There was another beat of silence that fell between the two of you, and he was slightly worried he might have made you upset when you suddenly spoke up again.“You know, this party was supposed to be different.” you sighed.

 “Was it?”

 “Yeah, it was kind of supposed to make up for last fall.”

 Last fall had been around the time you came to live here. It was also the time he met you and somehow ruined all his chances at any sort of friendship because of his mistake. More bullshit, he figured. 

 “I mean, let’s be real. I didn’t come to move here and deal with school drama and monsters. And since we got rid of that, I figured that someone as smart as me could work my way around the school bit.”

 Your house approached faster than he thought. Making him hate how fast he arrived in your driveway. This was the first in so long that the two of you were actually talking. And he selfishly didn’t want to end it soon even if he wanted just to go home not too long ago.

 “And how’s that going?” He asked, turning off the car engine. He’s hopeful that you’ll go on in your running thoughts.

 “Very crappy.” you chuckled. The sheer honesty even made him laugh a little. “I don’t know but I feel like things aren’t ever going to be normal for me again. I mean, whatever happened to being just a stupid teenager? When did all this other mess like a love life come in to make it harder?”

 “It’s all bullshit.” he said softly. “All of it.”

 You snorted at his words, not understanding the sting that lingered behind them. “Glad to know we’re all bullshitters.” 

 Suddenly you’re leaning into him, reaching out gently to wipe off some of the remnants of his shame from the side of his face. It was so sweet and caring. Making Steve shudder from the affectionate touch. Something about it coming from you had his heart racing. He pulled his hand up from his lap to place over yours. Noting the softness of your hands.

 “Thanks for the ride, Steve.” you whispered softly. As fast as he could blink, you were leaning in again to press a kiss to his cheek. Leaving such a fire to his skin, he was sure you’d notice how red he was in the face. But you don’t mention it. “I hope your allergies let up soon.” 

 He dropped his hand from yours, watching as you exited the car. Only fumbling a few times over yourself before you managed to get out. The cool air from outside didn’t even bother him as he watched you pull the jacket off from you. Unknowingly distracting him getting out a goodbye. It’s when you were about to close the door that he called out for your name. Feeling an overwhelming urge to help make your night better in some kind of way. 

 “I’m sorry about last year,” he said suddenly. “I can’t say it enough, but I really do regret hurting you and all.”

 You looked only a little taken back, nodding your head slowly with a small sad smile. He sighed to himself, allowing you to finally close the door so that he could pull out of the driveway. He waved off at you before turning his car and going, looking back now and then at your figure receding. 

 It was weird for Steve. He hasn’t ever really felt so torn up in his emotions in a while. Feeling the need to sink into his sadness one second, and then needing to make sure you didn’t fall into yours the other. Last Halloween he spent wasted with Tommy, watching as Carol and some girl he had hooked up with played ding dong ditch at Mr. Clark’s house. 

 But that was last year, and now he was heading home with a broken heart and confused feelings.

Surprisingly Steve was up earlier than he had expected to be that morning. 

 The night before still haunted him despite sobering up enough before bed. And even after he was tucked in and done thinking about Nancy, he couldn’t stop himself from going back to you. Like a horrible pendulum, he was stuck either thinking about Nancy’s words or yours. 

 It was throwing him in such a wack that he hadn’t noticed how much he had gone his day stuck in autopilot. Getting his breakfast silently, driving his car to school, and heading to class. No one seemed to pay him any mind. That is until he was stopped at his locker. 

 “Steve!” called out a friendly voice. 

 He didn’t peek up from the inside of the metal box, aimlessly putting books in different places as he ignored whoever was calling out to him. But instead of taking the hint, the person ended up coming closer. 

 “Hello? Earth to Harrington?”

 Slamming his locker closed, he watched as Tina and her friend Vicki jumped in place before they rubbed at their temples. Not expecting that sort of noisy response. He shot the two of them with a tight lipped smile. “What’s up?” he asked half heartedly. 

 “Did you enjoy yourself at the party last night?” Tina asked, gaining some sort of composer.

 “Yeah,” Steve said sarcastically. “Had a real blast.”

 He only gave them a quick nod before he turned on his heels to head off to class. Leaving the other two girls to stagger as they followed after him. “I noticed that you didn’t leave with Nancy.” Tina said, catching up to walk along his side. “It looked like she left with Jonathan Byers.”

 “Are you telling me or asking me?” Steve muttered, trying to pick up his speed down the hall.

 “I’m telling you.” she clarified a second after. “What I’m asking you is if you really left the party to take poor little Henderson home?”

 He couldn’t help but think back to what the girl was telling him. Just how many people noticed what went down last night? How many today were talking about the fact that Nancy went home with someone else. He didn’t even call to see if she made it home..what would they think now that they didn’t even show up to school together?

 “Hello?” Vicki called out this time. 

 “Steve,” Tina started more sternly. “Look, we get that you might be a little fuzzy on the details considering the punch everyone drank last night..” Vicki and her shared a humorous laugh together before glancing back at the boy. “My only concern is if you hooked up with my friend or not.”

 “I mean, it’d be expected considering Wheeler probably hooked up with Byers. But still be pretty grimey of you.” added Vicki, causing Steve’s mind to go in a funky haze again.

 He didn’t spare a glance at them, merely shrugging his shoulders before he pushed past the two. Trying to do anything but think of the idea of Nancy and Jonathan hooking up. 

 “You’re bullshit.”

 “You’re bullshit.”

 “You’re bullshit.”

 The shrill sounds of Coach Troy’s whistle did not help with the building headache in Steve’s mind. While he had hoped that a good game of basketball in gym class would brighten up his mood, he couldn’t stop the cloudiness from raining on his mind..and performance. 

 “COME ON, HARRINGTON.” Drew Nelson, his teammate for the day, was on his ass for some reason, making Steve even more irritable.

 Billy, who of course had to be in his gym class, was playing flawlessly. As if he lived and breathed basketball. For someone who had reeked of beer the way he did the night before, Steve would have thought he’d be somewhere with his head in the trash. But here he was, shirtless, and looking at Steve as if he were his next target.

 At one point the game turned into a bit of a one on one, making Steve’s nerves on edge as he carefully dribbled the ball. There’s a second where he tried to go past Billy that ended with the two colliding against each other. Both not budging from their spot.

 “Harrington, right?” Billy said, acknowledging Steve for the first time since he came. “I heard you used to run this school. That true?” The question was rhetorical. Something to get under Steve’s skin. Whether it be for the game or Billy’s own satisfaction, Steve did not know. “King Steve, they used to call you, huh?..Then you turned bitch.”

 “Hey, maybe you should just shut up and just play the game.” Steve said, not wanting to even talk to this guy. But his offhanded reply only seemed to make Billy more amused, using his footing to trip Steve over so that he could steal the ball. 

 Steve scrambled getting up, watching as Billy effortlessly shot a dunk into the next, causing his teammates to erupt into happy cheers. He had been pushing back the hair away from his eyes when he heard the sound of Coach Troy’s whistle. 

 “Hey! Girls are out on the field today!”

 Before he could turn and find out who the man was yelling at, the sound of another voice suddenly came up from behind him.

 “What the hell is your problem, Harrington?” 

 His back was shoved harshly. Causing him to trip forward a bit before he was able to catch his footing. Wiping a hand over his sweaty face, he turned around and realized that the person who nearly pushed him over was you. His eyes widened at the sight of your blazing anger as you took a step forward. 

 “The hell is wrong with you?! Don’t you see I’m in the middle of a game?” 

 He caught eyes with one of the kids and opened his hands out for the ball. What kind of warpath were you on that you’d come into a class that wasn’t yours just to yell at him? He waved the ball in your face, hoping to snap you out of your daze but that only seemed to aggravate you further. Making you reach out and snatch the ball from his hands. 

 “I don’t care about the dumb game. I want to know why you’re not stopping people from assuming that we did anything but drive home yesterday!”

 “Wait, what?” he scoffed. Trying to think about what you were saying. The only person that asked him about it was your friend. Why the hell would you care about something trivial as a rumor? “I didn’t think I had to.”

 “You didn’t think that people were going to assume that you and I leaving a party early wouldn’t come off as something else?”

 “No! Why the hell would anyone assume that?” You hated him, everyone knew that.

 “They assume shit like that when you keep your mouth shut instead of clearing the air, genius!”

 He tried to think over his answer with Tina today. Wondering how his mouth got him in trouble yet again, but it would seem his lack of speaking had done worse than he thought. From the side he could see a curious Billy step towards the two of you. 

 “What’s the problem, babydoll?” he cooed at you, trying to either get on your good side or at least appear like it. Either way, Steve couldn’t help but frown at it. 

 “Not now, Billy.” you said not even giving him a glance. Missing out on the frustration that easily slipped over his usual mocking exterior. You took a step closer, trying to get his attention and Steve suddenly became aware of just how many of his peers were suddenly watching this drama unfold right now. 

 “Can we do this, maybe not in the middle of class?”

 “I would, except over at my class, I’m being told lies about myself!”

 You’ve pushed enough that he found himself pressed against the gym wall. Making him lower his gaze from the other students that are probably thinking how pathetic he must look. At any other time this would most likely make him want to take out his frustrations. Ask why the hell everyone seemed to be on his ass today.

 “Steve, people are gonna think I helped you cheat on Nancy..”

 “You didn’t!” he said quickly, snapping his gaze back at you. The thoughts from before quickly faded away the second he finally saw your hurt look. “I would never and you wouldn’t either.” 

 He can’t stand the idea of his dumb mouth making things worse for you again. Without thinking he began to reach out for you, wanting to reassure you. But with the rumor that was currently bothering you, it would be best to give some space. So he dropped his hands to his sides, watching as you took a step back too. 

 “Make sure they know that then.” you warned softly. 

 Turning around, you make for your exit. Only being stopped by Billy who leaned in to angrily ask you a whispered question. It must have really got under your skin because the next thing he saw was you pulling back from his grip and pointing a finger at the man. “Stop fucking my friends!”

 He blew out a huff of air, removing himself from the wall and back towards the court. Ready to just get on with the rest of class before he and the other boys witnessed you shoved the basketball to hit Drew against the groin. 

 “Take five, boys.” Coach Troy called out as some of the boys gathered around the groaning boy. 

 “Steve?”

 He picked his head up in time to catch Nancy near the gym entrance. It would look like interruptions weren’t done just yet.

  “What happened before I came in?” Nancy asked as she led the two of them towards the back of the gym. 

 “Trouble happened.” he shrugged. Not really sure how to even talk to Nancy casually. But the more she looked up at him with a questionable look, the more he felt himself grow frustrated. “What are you doing here?” he asked finally. 

 “What do you think?” she asked, growing upset. “Where were you this morning? I missed first period.”

 That’s what she was upset about? First period?

 The bitterness hit over his tongue and he couldn’t help the sarcasm as it came out. “I figured Jonathan would take you.”

 “Wha..What are you talking about?” she asked, as if he pulled that answer out of nowhere. He can’t help but scoff in return. Unable to push back the venom that was building up inside of him.

 “Jesus, you really can’t handle your alcohol.” He started. “You remember going to Tina’s party last night, right?”

 “Yes.”

 “And then what?”

 “I remember dancing, and spilling some punch. You got mad at me because I was drunk..and then you took me home.”

 He scoffed again. Shocked that not only could she not remember anything correctly from that night. But turn it around so that it was just his fault. “No, see, that’s where your mind gets a little bit fuzzy.” He wrapped the towel around the back of his neck, trying to approach this without blowing up. “That was your other boyfriend. That was..that was Jonathan.”

 “I don’t understand..”

 “It’s pretty simple, Nancy. You were just telling it like it is.” he muttered. Feeling her words begin to echo in his mind again.

 “What?”

 “Uh..apparently, uh, we killed Barb and I don’t care, ‘cause I’m bullshit, and our whole..our whole relationship is bullshit, and..I mean, pretty much everything is just bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.” he finished. Finding it worst to list it all out for her. But there was no going back now. “Oh, yeah! Also, you don’t love me.”

 “I was drunk, Steve! I don’t remember any of that.” Nancy exclaimed, looking wide up at Steve. There was a bit of a panic in the tone of her voice. Giving Steve a small bit of..hope. But still, it all hurt too much for Steve to just ignore easily.

 “So that makes everything that you said..it’s what? Just bullshit, too?”

 “Yes!”

 “Well, then tell me.” he pleaded, feeling his chest only begin to ache again.

 “Tell you what?”

 “You love me.” 

 Nancy could only stare up at shock. Almost like he asked her an unthinkable question. “..Really?” she gaped.

 The doors to the gym burst open. Causing a pause in their conversation as Drew came through the walkway. “Harrington!” he yelled, waving his arms up. “Dude, we need you, man. That douchebag’s killing us. Let’s go!” 

 “All right!” he called out, irritated by the interruption. 

 “COME ON!”

 But Steve ignored him, only looking down at Nancy as he painfully waited for her to give the answer that he could easily say right here and right now if she asked. Even when she mustered up the courage to look back at him, he could only see that despite being in front of him. She was so far away from his reach. 

 Say it. Please. Just say it.

  He took a step away, taking the last bit of dignity that he had left to go back inside. This conversation wasn’t leading anywhere and he really needed to be alone right now. But not without leaving her with some parting words. 

 “I think that you’re bullshit.”

  Steve pretty much bailed out on school after those confrontations. His mind nor his heart could handle the idea of dealing with the rest of the school day. Instead of dealing with anyone else who had something to say, he managed to fool the school nurse enough to send him home early. Allowing him to stay locked up in his room, blasting music loud enough to drown out the thoughts that ran through his head.

 But the next day isn’t any better. 

 With every hall he walked down, he managed to catch the eyes of every student. And not in the way that he used to. With some, it was sympathy. Probably hearing worse things than the day before. He decided he’d try and ignore them. Moving on with the day so that he could simply get on with this horrible week.

 Unfortunately, despite ignoring the other students. He couldn’t ignore his stupid gym class. Meaning he’d have to deal with Billy once again.

 And boy did that class prove to be worthless. Instead of getting back in his groove. He only seemed to falter again. Failing to knock Billy down a peg. It was such a shit show that Billy even mocked him further by ending the game with some parting advice. Which was a whole different type of mind game that Steve couldn’t comprehend. 

 Things only turned more confusing when Steve hit the showers. He was just about finishing up when Billy and Tommy slithered into the showers. An amused smirk tugged at Billy’s lips as he casually washed up beside Steve. Like they were friends.

 “Don’t sweat it, Harrington.” he spoke suddenly. “Today’s just not your day, man.” 

 “Yeah. Not your week.” Tommy added with a familiar taunting chuckle. “You and the princess break up for one day, and she’s already running off with the freak’s brother.”

 Steve stayed quiet. Unsure if what he heard was right. Nancy ran off with Jonathan? Just like that?

 “Oh, shit. You don’t know.” Tommy grinned. “Jonathan and the princess skipped yesterday. Still haven’t shown. But that must just be a coincidence, right?”

 He pulled away from the shower, his annoying familiar cackle following after him as he left to go off and change. 

 “Don’t take it too hard, man.” Billy said calmly. “A pretty boy like you has got nothing to worry about. Plenty of bitches in the sea.” He made it a point to reach out and shut the water off, cutting off the stream from rinsing off the shampoo from his hair. Making it so that his words were clear enough to hear.

 “Am I right?” he asked, giving his shoulder a clap. He turned to walk away from the stalls, staring ahead as he left with parting words. 

 “I’ll be sure to leave you some.”

  “Did you hear about Nancy and that Byers kid? I heard they’ve run off to get married because they’ve been secretly in love or something.”

 “No, I heard she ran off with Jonathan Byers because she found out that Henderson girl got her nails into Harrington. They’re like totally an item now.”

 “No way is she dating Steve! She’s dating Billy Hargrove. That new kid. They kissed the other day didn’t they?”

 “Oh right! That makes better sense. New hot girl, new hot guy. Of course they’d end up together.” 

 Steve bolted past the trio of girls blocking the doorway into the cafeteria. Words like that have been spreading around all day and if he had to listen to another group of people talking about him and the people he knew, he’d go insane.

 In the center of all the chaos he found you, at a lunch table alone. An odd sight really considering you haven’t been left alone since you moved here. But from where he stood he could tell that you kept up your regular composer. He quickly rushed over, pulling out a chair to sit across from you. 

 “We need to talk.”

 “Don’t really see what we have to talk about.” you mused, keeping your gaze down at the magazine before you. While he’s usually impressed by your tact, he’s somewhat bothered that today of all days you’re not at least a little bit worried.

 “Would the fact that everyone keeps talking about us not be good enough reason?” 

 “Nope.” You said, still the same tone. Only now you were frowning down at whatever you were reading.. “Damn, I got Tom Cruise. I wanted Michael J. Fox.”

 Growing frustrated, he reached out and took the magazine away from your line of sight. 

 “Give that back, Steve! I have to find out if Tom Cruise likes what I do!” 

 He couldn’t help but throw you a look before he placed it down on the chair beside him. “You can figure all that out later. We gotta get these rumors under control.” If he doesn’t get at least some sort of help, he’s not sure what he’ll do by the end of the day.

 “Us sitting together is just gonna make things worse.” you pointed out, stabbing at your food. 

 “That’s what I’m talking about! We should be able to do things like sit next to each other without it meaning anything.” It’s never been a problem all this time but just one damn party and it’s like life is turning upside down. 

 “Well, get Nancy to help clear some of the air. She’s a part of this as much as we are.” 

 He couldn’t control the mixed emotions on his face. Reaching out quickly to snatch a piece of your pizza to stuff in his mouth. If he got to talking about it right now, he’s worried just what might spill out.  “We can’t go to Nancy right now.” he chewed harshly. 

 “Well no, I know she’s not here today. But tomorrow..”

 “No, we can’t go to Nancy right now because..she and I are fighting.” 

 “Okay, so make up with her.”

 “It’s not that easy, trouble.” he sighed, wishing it could be just that. 

 “Well why the hell not? You guys are practically making out in the hallway these days. Just bring her flowers and make up already.” There’s somewhat of a tone in your words that made Steve a little curious. 

 Was that jealousy? Could you possibly—

 No. Nope. He’s not gonna go down that rabbit hole again. Despite his troubling thoughts and the conversation turning slightly annoying, he tried his best to calm down and explain it better. 

 “I can’t just make up with her because she thinks we killed Barb.” 

 Your eyes widened a bit and you quickly pushed away your tray, leaning in closer towards him to conceal the conversation better. “What the hell do you mean? Is this why you were crying the other night?!”

 “I was not crying…but yes. Among other things.” he sighed defeatedly. 

 “Like what?”

 It’s hard to dive into everything, but considering you’re one of the few people that he can trust. He figured it wouldn’t be so bad to clue you in on a few important key points. 

 “..and apparently, we were never in love, I’m bullshit, and now she’s run off with Jonathan out of town.”

 “Shit.” You said, leaning back against your seat. The two of you have a bit of a stare off and he’s wondering what might come out from you next. Would you mock him? Tell him it was deserved? Did he just make a mistake on opening up about this? 

 He’s given you every reason to hate him still. Treat him like all the other assholes in this school. But a small part of him was scared to hear those kinds of words from you again. Fearing that it might just hurt a little bit more than the last time. 

 But you don’t do that. Instead, you’re reaching over to place your hand on top of his. “I’m sorry,” you said softly. The tips of his fingers twitched under the softness of your warm hands. “It’s not your fault..I hope you know that.”

 His eyes didn’t know where to look. The sincerity in your eyes or the way your hand is slowly inching to be inside his. Turning his palm over, he watched in silent awe as you slipped your fingers between his. It felt nice. He couldn’t help but give it a light squeeze as he muttered a shy response. “Thanks.”

 It’s a beat of a second that the two of you are just sitting there. Subtly holding hands over the table, where anyone could see and make things worse for the current rumors you shared. But Steve didn’t seem to care. Because for once, it felt like someone actually gave a shit about how he felt. 

 “I know I’m probably the last person you think would suggest this. But maybe we can find a way to figure out where Nancy and Jonathan are. Help figure out what mess they’ve gotten into-”

 “You know Harrington. When I mentioned leaving behind some girls for you, I wouldn’t have expected you to go after my girl of all people.” He watched as Billy pulled a chair out beside you, screeching the metal against the floor before he plopped down. He shot a white toothy smile over at Steve briefly before he glanced back at you. Draping his arm over your shoulder in an attempt to hug you close.  

 He’s so distracted by the look of hatred on your face, that he didn’t even realize he had dropped your hand in the process.

 “Okay, first off. I am not your girl. Second, what the hell are you on about, Billy?” 

 “Lover boy here is obviously having some relationship problems as we’ve discussed.”

 Discussed?

 Steve’s eyes glanced over to you questionably. Wondering just when the two of you had talked enough to have him be the main topic of discussion. Didn’t you hate Billy that you were trying to avoid him at any chance?

 “I thought I gave him some humbling advice but he clearly ran off with it.” 

 “God, do you ever stop talking?” Steve muttered in disbelief. Unsure where the hell this guy pulled all this crap out of. 

 “No, he lacks the capacity to have any sort of tact.” you responded, sounding just as tired as Steve felt. 

 “Others would say I’m just brutally honest.” Billy shrugged. The two of you could only scoff at that. Still taken back by this asshole. 

 He watched as you scooted your chair away, trying not to be as close to Billy. “What asinine advice did you give Steve?”

 “Easy, I told him there was plenty of girls–”

 “Not the word I remember hearing.” he said, watching as the small interruption managed to get under Billy’s skin a bit. 

 “That he should move on and find some other bitch to help him forget Wheeler.” His poor choice of words earned him a look of disgust from you. Making Steve feel a little bit smug that of all the people Billy managed to get under his thumb, you didn’t seem to be one of them.  “And like I mentioned before, I didn’t think he’d do that with you of all people.”

 He glanced over at Steve with his last words, raising his brow just a smidge enough that Steve can’t help but feel something bubble up in his chest. “Who she talks to is none of your business.” There’s a slightly shocked look on both of your faces. But he ignored that to keep telling off Billy. “From what she’s told me, she dumped you last year, leaving you a mess back in California.” 

 “Oh is that what she said?” Billy chuckled, leaning in towards the table. Something waved over Steve’s body. He’s never felt so confrontational with a person before. And he’s not sure if it’s because Billy is that big of an asshole or if it’s because he’s an asshole who thinks he owns you. “What else do you suddenly know about her?”

 “I know she’s obviously grossed out by you and yet all you’ve done since you’ve gotten here is invade her space, man. It’s like you aren’t getting the hint.” Steve countered, mimicking Billy as he leaned in closer. 

 “Really! You of all people are able to grasp hints all of a sudden!”

 “Believe me, I’m not the only one seeing the signs. She’s practically crawling away from you every time you’re by her.” The anger was building up and he knew he should shut up. But this angry little monster that’s been on his shoulders this week is growing bigger with every reply back from Billy. 

 “And just how many times are you watching whenever I talk with her? She’s my girlfriend!”

 Motherfu–

 “She’s not!”

 “ENOUGH!” you yelled suddenly as you pushed out of your chair. All around students paused in their lunch to stare over at the sudden eruption from the table. From the glare on your face, Steve knew was in trouble. “I’ve about had it with you two!”

 Scratch that, he’s in deep shit.

 “For the last and final time, Billy. I am NOT your girlfriend. You’re an egotistical man-whore who needs a god damn reality check! Leave me the hell alone!” Steve glanced over to the blonde, noting that he was not only taken back by your outburst but also a little bit..afraid? Did he too face your wrath back at home?

 He nearly jumped in his seat when your fiery eyes turned to look at him next. But unlike Billy, he’s used to this fire by now, and he’s more than ready to accept what you throw at him. But the longer you look at him, the more he could tell there was something you were holding back on.

“We’re not friends.” you said, making his chest hurt just a little bit at the reminder. “I don’t need you to defend me and I definitely don’t need you to speak for me.”

 “Shows over, assholes!” you yelled over to the gawking student body. They’re quick to avert their gazes after that, probably having seen enough of what your target practice can do. 

 Both the boys sat there, silent as you gathered up your things and pushed in your chair. It wasn’t until Steve held up the magazine for you that he saw you pause. If only for a second before you grabbed it.

 “Nice one, Harrington!” Billy jeered with a slap to the table. He quickly got up from his chair and made his way towards another table before Steve could get the chance to say anything back. All he could do was sit back and watch as you made your way out of the cafeteria.

 There was still the problem he had in his hands and he only hoped that the rest of the school day would cool you off enough so that he could convince you to help him again.

  Steve felt almost eerily like how he did Halloween night. Hands gripped tightly to the steering wheel as he watched you and Billy from the parking lot. He had hoped that he’d be able to offer you a ride with an apology and that would be good enough to get you to help him with Nancy. But all he could focus on right now was the sight of Billy cupping at your jaw, leaning closer to your lips. There was an off look to your face, but your eyes slipped close, like you’re waiting for a kiss. 

 For a moment Billy turned his head, obstructing Steve’s view before he suddenly let you go. For some reason Steve couldn’t help but press on the gas pedal, feeling the need to drive the hell out of the school, out of town, anywhere that wasn’t here.

 The two of you turned your gazes towards his direction and he can’t help but scoff at the sight of shock on your face. Without another thought, he put the car in drive and set off to head off the parking lot. Ready just to end the stupid day.

  “And you’re sure this will help me out?”

 Mr. Chen, the town’s florist, looked over at Steve questionably. The boy had come in just a half hour ago, asking for help on getting flowers to help mend things up with Nancy. Using the partial advice you had given him at lunch the day before. 

 Immediately the man stalked over and offered Steve a variety of choices. Lilies, orchids, tulips, and so many that Steve couldn’t decide on. It wasn’t until he told the man that all he had was ten bucks that the man stalked off to the backroom and came out with a small bouquet of roses. 

 “I’ve been in this town longer than you’ve been alive, boy. Give her these. Suck it up and say you’re sorry.”

 With that he waved off Steve, wishing him luck before escorting him out of his shop. On the drive there he thought long and hard what he could say. For sure he knew he felt bad about just leaving her at the party. And maybe for calling her bullshit. But it wasn’t as if he pulled those out of nowhere. 

 He arrived sooner to the Wheeler house than he had hoped. Unsure of what to do still as he climbed out of his car. Holding tightly to the roses as he attempted to practice what he’d say when Nancy came to the door. 

 “Listen..I’ve been thinking. I love you. I’m sorry.” He sighed. The words tasted bitter on his tongue. “I’m sorry? What the hell am I sorry for?” he thought out loud. 

 He’s about to make his way down the long driveway when he suddenly heard the voice of someone else.

 “Steve!”

 Dustin, your cousin and Mike’s friend, cut across the lawn as he approached him. “Are those for Mr. or Mrs. Wheeler?” 

 “No.” Steve responded, confused.

 “Good.” Without another word, he quickly snatched the flowers from his hand and made his way back up the driveway. Leaving Steve to scramble after him.

 “Hey. What the hell? HEY.”

 “Nancy isn’t home.” he clarified quickly. 

 “Where is she?” he asked, confusion only growing more. If she wasn’t at school yesterday and not at her house today. Then where the hell was she?

 “Doesn’t matter. We have bigger problems than your love life.”

 Great, so this kid all of a sudden can easily read just how much trouble Steve was going through right now. 

 “Do you still have that bat?”

 Wait, he can’t mean.. “Bat? What bat?” Steve asked, cautiously. 

 “The one with the nails.”

 “Why?”

 “I’ll explain it on the way.”

 “Now?”

 “NOW!”

 Steve couldn’t help but run back towards his car. Oddly enough, your cousin acted very similarly in terms of bossing him around. But like with you, Steve couldn’t help but listen to his gut and follow what was being asked of him. At least for now.

  “Damn it.” Cursed Dustin. 

 Steve, who had been making the drive over to your house after getting the bat from his house, couldn’t help but glance over at the kid again. The ‘explanation’ that was promised to him was a quick short plea for Steve to help get rid of something that he had managed to trap in his basement. When asked what, Dustin said again that he’d explain when they got to the house.

 “What’s up?” he asked finally. 

 “It’s dark. The stupid sun went down.” muttered the boy miserably. He ducked his head a bit to scan out the window again. Steve couldn’t help but chuckle a bit about it. 

 “You scared of the dark or something?” he teased. Dustin turned his head quickly to scowl over at Steve before he quickly shook his. 

 “In case you didn’t remember, the task I need your helping hand in, is to go inside the house’s storm cellar. Meaning shitty lighting, genius.”

 Though Steve should be offended by the tone used by Dustin, he oddly found it a little entertaining. Wondering how a kid could sound so much like an adult. “Don’t sweat it,” Steve shrugged. “Just give me a good flashlight and I’ll take out this wild raccoon.”

 “Uh it’s definitely not a raccoon.”

 “Possum?”

 “Nope.”

 “Skunk?”

 “Think more scales.” Dustin chuckled, seemingly amused by Steve’s guesses. 

 “A lizard?”

 “No, not a liza- Are you kidding me?”

 Steve’s eyes followed towards the direction Dustin had turned to, watching as a cyclist had emerged onto the road. He was about to ask what the big deal was until he noticed the familiar backside. 

 “Always with impeccable timing.” Dustin grumbled as he pressed down on the window. He quickly stuck his head out and began to yell out your name. For a second your bike wavered before you began to pull to the side. Your face turned towards the direction of the car and Steve slowly approached, setting down the brake once he had gotten close enough. 

 The boy climbed out of the car, hanging at the side of the door as he called out to you once more. For a moment you looked over, confused clear on your face before you eyed over at the car. That’s when it seemed to hit you. Making you storm closer towards the door with your bike in hand.  

“What the hell are you doing with Steve Harrington?” you asked, in complete disbelief. Taking that as his signal, Steve moved to get out of his car. Leaning onto the roof slightly as he took in the sight of you. Not only were you visibly confused, but from the way your brows were furrowed, he figured it wouldn’t be long for you to get angry. 

 “Could have ran you off the road there, Trouble.” he sighed, unable to fight his curiosity. “Why the hell are you biking out so late anyway?”

 “She was probably looking for her boyfriend.” Dustin answered with the same annoyed tone he had before. “Complained all last night about how he wouldn’t return her calls and went as far to look for him today. Which, by the way, thanks for getting back to me.”

 “Boyfriend?!” said the two of you. 

 Steve couldn’t believe it. Not only were you kissing Billy but now he’s back to being your boyfriend? The questions began to quickly burst from inside of Steve as he turned to look at Dustin. The only honest person he’s spoken to in days it’d seem. 

 “She’s been trying to call Hargrove?”

 “Hargrove? Who the hell is that? I meant Jonathan.”

 “BYERS?” Steve yelled, looking back at you momentarily. How the hell could Jonathan be off with Nancy but be also dating you? When the hell did that even happen? How the hell did that even happen? “Since when is she dating Jonathan Byers?!”

 “I don’t know, probably Christmas?”

 “Excuse me.” you said in between the two of them.

 How could you be dating Jonathan since last year and Steve not even see? The two of you hung out a lot. But there was never any hand holding. No kissing. You were just kissing Billy! “Christmas?! What about Billy?”

 “I seriously have no idea who that is.”

 “The guy that kissed her at school. Her ex.”

 “A guy kissed her at school?!”

 “Guys..” he heard you sigh. But by now Steve’s questions were pouring out in a flood and he wasn’t able to keep up with Dustin’s simple answers. As far as the kid knew, the two of you were a hot item for almost a year. 

 “WILL YOU GUYS SHUT UP!?”

 The anger in your voice put a shiver down Steve’s back. How the hell was he about to be reamed by you for a second day in a row?

 “I am not or will not ever date Jonathan Byers. He is my friend, and nothing else.” Your eyes found him next and he forced himself to hold his gaze with you when you pointed over at him. “I am also NOT dating Billy.”

 “Yeah?” he asked as he ran his now sweaty hand through his hair. “So what was that I saw at school yesterday? First you tell us off in front of everyone at lunch and next thing I see after school is you two about to kiss.”

 He can’t control the bitterness in his words. Whatever happened, whatever he saw? He didn’t like it. But the moment his accusations came out was unfortunately the moment he realized he had messed up. And the words that followed next didn’t help. 

 “Yeah, well, Billy likes to take whatever he wants. Regardless if the other person is willing.” you shrugged simply, despite your eyes saying something else. “It’s not like it’s any of your business anyway, right?”

 Take whatever he wanted? Has he done this to you before?

 Steve felt a sudden burst of shame wash over him. He quickly tried to remember how things looked the other day. It was like what he had told Billy at lunch. 

 “..all you’ve done since you’ve gotten here is invade her space, man. It’s like you aren’t getting the hint.”

 Maybe he didn’t get the hint after all.

 Dustin cleared his throat, bringing himself back into the conversation and the focus back on what he needed help with. “Look, there’s not a lot of time. But you need to get in the car.”

 “Why? I can just bike home.” 

 The boy ignored you momentarily, grabbing at the handlebars of your bike before he called for Steve to follow him to the trunk. He quickly joined him at the back, popping up the trunk door as he helped place the bike in the leftover space. From the side he could see as your eyes found the weapon. 

 “Dustin..” you groaned. “What the hell is going on?”

 Dustin looked nervous as he picked at his zipper before he glanced over at Steve. Silently shooting him pleading looks. But Steve ignored him momentarily, grunting a bit as he struggled to get the bike in the back. “No clue.” he honestly said to you. 

 The smaller boy stalked over to the backside, extending his hand for you to step. “Get in, I’ll explain on the way home.”

  He couldn’t help but check his mirror to catch a glimpse of you. It’s only been about a minute since the three of you got back inside his car and he’s suddenly racked with so many emotions. Not only were you still upset from lunch, but apparently the whole Billy encounter was something that was forced on you.

 And all he did was accuse you of something else. Like an asshole. 

 “What’s with the flowers?” you asked from the back, looking down at the seat next to you. 

 “Ah, just something Steve was trying to give Nancy.” Dustin said offhandedly. “She wasn’t even home.”

 He peeked again at his rear view mirror. Watching as you pulled a single rose from the bouquet. You took a quick sniff and gave the flower a small smile. While he stared off at the road again, he couldn’t help but wonder; have you ever been given flowers? 

 “All right, punk.” you sighed to Dustin. “Spill.”

 Dustin pursed his lips a bit before he began to dive into the details. If Steve hadn’t gone through what he did last year, he would have thought Dustin’s story was just one of an imaginative kid. But knowing Hawkins, and his luck this week, it was all probably true. 

 The more he seemed to go on, the more you grew even more irritated. If possible. Eventually there’s some back and forth about a cat and suddenly Steve had to stop the two of you from fighting. Or more so stop you from fighting. 

 Steve couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at the relationship you two shared. You weren’t siblings, nor even related by blood. But there was already such a bond between the two of you. Something he was sure you guys weren’t even aware of. 

 Dustin for some reason, acted as if you frustrated him, but at the same time would volunteer Steve to go down the cellar alone where the two of you could keep safe upstairs. And while you seemed to want to kill him a moment ago, you were fiercely tugging him close to your side. 

 He’s never had anyone like that in his life. And he wondered for a moment, what that would be like for once. 

 It’s hours later and the three of you are trudging back. All tired from not only trying to figure out where the tunnel that Dart, as Dustin named it, had escaped. But also the overall emotions from the day. 

 The two of you stepped before Steve, leaving him a bit hesitant at the doorway before Dustin turned to look back at him curiously. “Well c’mon.” he yawned, returning back at the door. “We gotta make up plans.” 

 Taking that as his welcome in, Steve stepped through the threshold. Taking in the house that he’s come to twice now, but never having seen inside. 

 There’s a couple pictures around the place. Mostly of Dustin and his mother. But there are a few that Steve couldn’t help walk over to. It was one of Dustin, looking even more younger than Steve thought possible, and of a plain looking girl. He was about to set it down until he looked back once more. The smile on her face..it was you.

 “Hmm, back when she was too small to have all that attitude.” Dustin muttered as came to Steve after locking up. “Back when she was cooler.” 

 Steve glanced between the photo and the sight of you reading a note over at the dining room table. He wondered what it must have been like knowing you then. 

 “Aunt Claudia must still be out.” you yawned, missing out on Steve’s gawking as you shed off your jacket. “We’ll have a good hour or two to plan things out.” 

 Immediately it’s back to work and the three of you moved into the living room to quickly think out ways you could check the area. But after thinking it over, drawing Dart back to a secluded spot might be the better idea than attempting to scour the whole woods that surrounded the area. 

 It was a little bit later that you had gone off to the kitchen to check out supplies. Steve took it upon himself to read over a magazine that had been left on the table. It was the one he took from you the other day. Flipping through the pages, he found the stupid quiz you had been focused on.

 Reading over the results, he couldn’t help but scoff to himself at how vague everything seemed. How any girl could fall for this type of thing was beyond him. 

 “I’m gonna need your help.” you sighed from the kitchen. Steve snapped his head up, following to where you were looking to notice that Dustin behind him had nodded off while he wasn’t looking. 

 “Shit, I thought he was strangely quiet.” 

 “Yeah, it’s the only time we’ll ever get this kinda silence.” you said at a glance to your watch. “He must have been tired from getting Dart out of the house.” 

 Setting the magazine down, Steve quickly got up from the floor. Moving to help get the poor kid somewhere he could rest without breaking his neck. There had been so many times growing up Steve had found himself waking up in the middle of the night, having knocked out on the couch while waiting for his Dad to get home. The stiffness lingered on for days sometimes. 

 Dustin deliriously called out for you, unaware that his house guest was still here. So Steve gently shushed him, moving him down the hall where you pointed over to. The inside of Dustin’s room seemed typical for the type of boy he was. Walls covered with movies and comics that the boy liked. It was nice to see a personality outside of the smart quips he usually gave to Steve.

 “Goodnight, buddy.” he said softly before he allowed the kid to fall onto the bed. You carefully threw his blanket over him before following out after Steve. For some reason, being left alone with you at the moment felt almost nerve wrecking.

 “I guess it’s getting pretty late.” Steve said tired, glancing at his watch to note the time. “I could drive home and come back in a couple of hours.”

 “Well, we got a ton of stuff to do tomorrow. Probably need to head to the market early for all the supplies.” You said, eyes carefully watching him. He nodded his head in agreement. It would be better to get a head start as early as possible. And while he dreaded the idea, he figured there was at least another option for him to get some rest.

 “I guess I can sleep in the car.”

 “Or,” you drawled out. “You can just spend the night here.” 

 Wait what did you just say?

 “Here?” He stuttered a bit. Still in complete disbelief that you’d even suggest that. “I can’t spend the night here..”

 “Why not?” There was such an amusement to your tone. As if you hadn’t just been giving him nothing but the cold shoulder today. Waving your hand, you urged him to follow after you to the door just a little past Dustin’s. It’s your room. Steve’s not even sure he could even grasp the idea of coming in there. Opening the door, you looked back at him, continuing to wave for him to come forward. “It’s literally just to sleep for a couple of hours before we start everything.”

 While there’s an honest reassurance in your voice, he’s still not sure he could wrap his head around all this. “Yeah,” He said, taking one step inside. “But I’m a guy and I can’t just stay over.”

 You gave him a little look before he entered further, taking in the sight of your room. It’s colorful, and completely what he expected from your personality. All around were different magazines, books, and something that looked like a journal. There’s a strong scent of your perfume and he wondered if you might find it creepy if he asked what it was. He chose distraction instead and busied himself by looking over at your jewelry collection. 

 “You mean to tell me you haven’t spent the night over at a girl’s house?” You asked with a smirk on your face. Heat flushed over Steve’s face because honestly, no, he hasn’t. The real honest answer would be that girls mostly spent the night at his place. Where he could be in charge of who stayed and left him. But a part of him isn’t really ready to dive into that. “It’s not like a sleepover, Steve. You’re just sleeping over.” 

 “God, you’re still trouble.” he said, saying his thoughts out loud. It was like you were looking to make him break down at this point. 

 You disappeared into the closet for a moment, giving Steve the chance to peek over at your bedside table. There was a photo of you along with a trio of girls. All dressed up and grinning ear to ear in the photo. While all your friends held a certain beauty to them, you stood out the most. Posing in such a way that held confidence. If he looked close enough, he could almost see that sparkle that used to be in your eyes. 

 “All right, I don’t really have a sleeping bag so unless you want to break your back on the floor, we’re gonna have to share the bed.” 

 His eyes widened. Did you really just suggest what he thinks you did? 

 “The bed? Like you and me? On there?” he glanced over at the bed. It roughly had to be a full size. Possibly Queen if he wished hard enough. How the hell were you guys gonna be able to split that without it being weird. 

 But you’re so calm. As if you offer this for anyone that has to spend the night. 

 “We can use my other pillow as a wall between us. It’ll be like when you took naps in Kindergarten.” 

 “Yeah, well I could never really nap then anyway.” He muttered, feeling a little bit defeated in trying to reason with you here. “Isn’t this weird though? You hate me.”  

 “I hated Billy and did worse with him in the sheets.”

 The idea of Billy and you in bed brought a sourness to his face. For some reason. But regardless of what his mind was screaming at him to do. He still shed off his jacket and pushed off his shoes. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” he mumbled under his breath before he glanced at you again. “So I usually like sleeping by the window..”

 “Just get in, your highness.”

 Not wanting to be told twice, he quickly climbed into the bed. Admiring just for a second its softness before he moved the farthest he could go. You had taken off your own jacket, hanging it just on the bedside chair before chucking over the spare blanket you had brought out. It smelled like freshly washed linens and he sincerely hoped that would mask the overwhelming smell of your perfume that currently drove him crazy. 

 It only got worse when you climbed in yourself, adjusting the pillow in between the two of you before you settled into a comfortable sleeping position. But sleep felt like the farthest thing on Steve’s mind right now. All he could focus on was the fact that he was with you, in your bed, in the middle of night. 

 And all you two were gonna do was sleep. 

 He should stop. Just sleep and forget about this awkward night so that tomorrow you guys could find this baby demogorgon and deal with it quickly. 

 But every time Steve attempted to close his eyes, he couldn’t help but think back to how you had looked at him earlier in the night. 

 “Yeah, well, Billy likes to take whatever he wants. Regardless if the other person is willing.”

 How could he have just so easily thought so badly of you? Why did his stupid anger about the fight with Nancy have to come out and attack you of all people? The guilt had started to build up, and while he wished he could push it down to focus on everything else, he couldn’t. 

 Lifting his head up, he checked over the pillow in hopes that you were still awake too. 

 To his surprise, you were already looking over at him curiously. He took that as a sign to go forward with his thoughts. “I’m sorry about before.” he said softly, the small bit of light from outside shined brightly enough that he was able to see it cast over the bit of face that peeked up from your blanket. It was slightly distracting. “I sort of accused you of doing something with Billy..I should have known it was just him being a dick..”

 For a moment, he had become worried about your silence. But you slowly turned on your side, facing him better. There’s a questionable look on your face, but Steve held his breath to hear you out. “It’s alright.” you said eventually. “He kind of makes everyone angry when they talk about him.”

 “Which is what’s so confusing.” He said, thinking it over. It was annoying to think you put up with the man’s dramatics for so long.

 “What do you mean?”

 It was his turn to curl on his side now, needing to face you better. Using his elbow to lift himself up a bit so that he could peer down at you. For some reason, the subject has you looking so..small. His mind fought between reaching out to comfort you, and getting answers to the questions that’s racked his head this whole week.

 “How the hell could a girl like you date that asshole?” 

 He feared he might have stepped too far. Making you uncharacteristically quiet before you shrugged up at him. “Because I was an asshole.”

 “What?” he asked in disbelief. “You’re not an asshole.”

 “No, but if I remember clearly, you did think I was a bitch once.” 

 His jaw slacked a bit and he attempted to stutter out an apology. That dreadful day where he had messed up in more ways than one brought out so many things he wished you both could forget. You’re already shaking your head, stopping him from speaking up.

 “I can admit it. I don’t think I was a good person until the accident.” 

 There was almost a sad, distant look in your eyes when you looked down at your hands. Making Steve grip hard at the blanket over him to stop himself reaching out. Seeing you in any way sad hurt his chest. But this moment felt different. 

 He shouldn’t feel different.

 “I used to be such a bitch..worse than anything you’ve seen so far. And the sad part is I don’t even know why.” You said with a laugh forced in. “It’s not like I needed to be. My parents weren’t negligent or mean. But when I was with Billy, I felt like I was a part of a role. That I was someone special because I was dating the most wanted guy at school. None of my friends even cared about things like that. So why did I?”

 You mistook his silence for something else and quickly closed up again. A panic coursed through Steve.

 “Mistakes happen and I’m over sharing.” you finished with a pull to your blanket. A large part of it covered your face a bit. “We should probably go to sleep.”

 “I was wrong.” Steve said, finally breaking his silence. “You were never a bitch. If anything, I was the asshole.” His mind raced back to last year. And how different you made his life. Which, he of course, ruined that. Going so badly that he made you think he actually thought the worst of you. A painful regret that he still felt haunted by. “I think you’re actually the coolest person to ever step foot in Hawkins. And if my big dumb mouth made you think otherwise for even a second I’m sorry.”

 When you don’t fight against his words, he used the small bit of courage he had left tonight to continue.

 “I’m not the best with words. I think you out of everyone would know that. But I just want you to know that I’m sorry. For all that shit. And if tomorrow is the only time we hang out again after everything, then I understand.” 

 Looking back at you only made his chest tighten. The sight of your teary eyes putting his emotions in the ringer. How could he make things right with you? His weak words can only go so far and he’s sure that a smart girl like you wouldn’t care. You shouldn’t. But Steve is a little selfish and he’ll use the moment to his advantage. Like right now, when he reached his hand out to cup the side of your face. The pad of his thumb rubbed off a fallen tear from your soft cheek. “Those damn allergies, right?” 

 “Steve..” 

 There was such a pleading to his name when you spoke. Making his chest ache again in a way that he hasn’t felt in a while. But he can’t focus on that right now. Neither of you can. 

 He quickly shook his head. You didn’t need to dive into his words and he couldn’t fall towards yours. Not when you were both clearly upset about things neither of you could control. “Goodnight, Trouble.” he urged, gently pushing you to lie down.

 He watched in silence as you turned over, giving him your back. A part of him wished he had let you continue talking. See what just might come out. But another, more silent winning part didn’t. Not when he was unsure what you might bring up. All that’s left is to force himself to sleep. Thinking only for a moment about the way you said his name. 

It wasn’t the right time to get up when Steve stirred awake. It was the sudden temperature that surrounded his face. How was it that his pillows were so warm today? And when did his Mom change the fabric softener to something so incredibly sweet? Like fruity but..with a hint of something that made Steve take a deep breath. Just when he was about to fall back into sleep, he felt the pillow in his arms expand. No, not expand..breathe. 

 Wait pillows don’t breathe. 

 Steve’s eyes instantly snapped open. Giving full sight of the compromising position you were both in.

 Somehow, during the few hours of the night, the barrier that you had meticulously put had been pushed off. Allowing the sleeping Steve to slither his way in and grab hold of your body. The sides of his face were not warmed up by his pillows, but by the crook of your neck. Making him realize why he was so engulfed in such a sweet scent. 

 His arm was wrapped around you. Tugged close enough so that your back was pressed to the front of his chest. Warming his body from the earlier hour’s cold air. 

 How the hell could he let this happen? Why would his sleeping hands just wander off and do something like this? And more importantly, why the hell did you smell so good?

 He peered back from your neck. Careful not to wake you up in the process. 

 With the low light coming in through the crack in the curtain, Steve was able to get a pretty good look at your face. It was strange to see your usual stoic face look so..calm. There’s a certain peaceful look to your face. Or maybe it is just your usual look and he’s missed out on seeing it considering most days you frowned at him. 

 But it’s nice.

 There’s so many nice things about you and he hates that it’s only in a moment that’s as wrong as this that he’s able to soak it in. 

 He shouldn’t stay like this. He should remove himself from around you and turn around. He’s in love with Nancy for Christ’s sake. And yet, he’s unable to remove his gaze from the soft features of your face. From the way your lips pout each time you blow out a bit of air, the way your cheek is rounded from pressing against the pillow, and especially the way your hands were placed above his. Like you were reaching out for him..

 This is sick. You hate his guts. 

 He shouldn’t be over analyzing the way you cuddled unconsciously and instead focus on getting himself back to sleep. It wasn’t right to you, Nancy, and even himself. Because whatever this was..it was definitely messing with his mind. 

 Gently, he slipped his hands off from the expanse of your waist. Letting your hands slip down over yourself again. Using the small inch room he had, he bent down to pick up the blanket and carefully pulled it over your body. Earning a content hum to come from you once you gained back a bit of warmth that his body had been currently providing.

 With his arms free, he squinted over at his watch. Thankful that it was still early within the night that he could get a couple more hours of sleep. If he was able to at this point.

 Adjusting himself, he ignored the things in his mind to try and find a comfortable position on his back. Trying to focus on the sleep he’d seriously need and not the way he felt cold since letting you go. He peeked down once more to look at your sleeping form. You were still asleep, body covered up perfectly without any part of him over you. 

 He kept his gaze on you, allowing himself the sight of watching you until his eyes had begun to grow heavy again. Tomorrow would probably be the last day you’d want anything to do with him, he reminded himself. So for these few seconds, he’d enjoy your close company quietly. 

 “Dude, you know you’re drooling right?”

 Steve let out a loud snort as he shot up from the bed. Scrambling to cover up his body with the blanket that had been thrown over him. “Huh? What?” he gaped. Blinking hard to his surroundings. He thought you would be beside him for the early wake up call, but he found instead a sleepy looking Dustin who stood just beside your bed. 

 “Did she really let you crash here?” he chuckled a bit while rubbing his eyes. “I bet the couch wasn’t comfortable for her.”

 For a moment Steve was about to correct the poor kid, but decided against it when he remembered that this whole time he thought you were dating Jonathan. Climbing out of the bed, he stretched his tired body and looked around the room. It looked a little too bright for the time they were supposed to start working.

 Turning his wrist over, he looked at the time and frowned a bit at how late it was. “Shit, we’re behind on things.” Steve muttered before he looked at Dustin. The boy looked over at his wrist before turning to exit the room. Following him, Steve stepped in just in time to catch the sight of you cutting up various cold cuts of meats at the counter. 

 “Why the hell didn’t you wake us up?” Dustin called out to you.

 The sudden question caused you to jump a bit. Nearly dropping the knife before you glanced in their direction. Steve noticed that you were definitely more freshened up than the two of them who were still in clothes from the day before. 

 “You guys were pretty beat up yesterday. And since I’m an early riser, I figured I’d get most of the petty work done.” you replied as you kept your focus back on cutting the red chunky pieces. 

 Dustin moved to your side looking down at your work before he glanced back at you. Confusion clear on his face. “Did you just say you’re an early riser? Seriously? You?”

 “I get up early.”

 “You get up with minutes to spare most days!”

 Steve walked up behind you, peering over at your work. The sight of the meat so early in the morning turned his stomach a bit. Making him extremely thankful that you took the task of cutting it up for the two of them while they were sleeping. He was curious about just how early you actually got up to get so much done. Not to mention how you did it without them knowing. 

 “How’d you even get all this stuff anyway?” He yawned over from the counter. You reached into your back pocket and fished out a pair of car keys. Wait a second.. 

 “Really? You took my car?”

 “She drove like a beauty.”

 He rolled his eyes, stuffing the keys back in his pocket. While he’s sure that you didn’t crash his car, he’s a little bit annoyed that you got his car without him even knowing. “She better still drive that way when we go out today.” 

 “Don’t get so worked up, your highness. Excuse me for wanting to give the two of you an extra hour of sleep.”

 “Hell, I’m thankful for it.” Dustin cut in thankfully. “Oh sweet, pop-tarts.”

 There’s something different about you today. Something that had you on edge more than usual and Steve couldn’t figure out why. Did you regret opening up to him last night? Had he pushed you too far in an attempt to get his answers? He thought about how it felt to see you so calm this morning and how it’s slowly fading back to being annoyed with him.

 “So you think we’re ready to go? Or can I have a shower first?” Dustin interrupted again, making you turn around and frown at him.  

 “Don’t be gross,” you said to him.  A bit of distaste in your voice. “But to answer you, I’m actually done. So we can head out now if you’re ready to go.” 

 “Sweet, Let’s get going.”

 “Ugh, if you’re not gonna be able to shower you should at least brush your teeth.” You groaned as you picked up Dustin’s trash. “I don’t wanna have to deal with your rank breath all day.” 

 Dustin looked over at Steve with a shocked look. “Do you hear the way she talks to me? Loving family, huh?” He said, trying to seek out a possible reassurance from him. But all Steve could do was give him a small smile and shrug. Unsure if he wanted to get in the middle of the two.

 “Just hurry up, dude.”

 The boy waved the two teens off before he stalked off down the hall. Leaving the two of you alone. Something Steve didn’t know he was secretly fearing until now. How were the two of you supposed to talk after everything? Were you going to close off again? What if you didn’t and he said the wrong thing today?

 Last night had worked out in his favor. But lord knows that Steve wasn’t the best at keeping his cool around you. It was like he was meant to be the most uncool person you’d ever interact with. Which was definitely not okay in Steve’s book. He wasn’t that guy. He was the guy that had girls swooning and falling for him. But that wasn’t what he wanted for you. 

 Had he really gone all these years without figuring out how to be just friends with a girl? Carol was his friend for a long time. But she was also there because of Tommy..

 “So about last night..” you started. Making Steve panic at how was going to go about things. 

 “Do you have any water?” he said quickly, needing a brief subject change.

 “The glasses are in there.” you replied confused. Giving him the chance to turn around and gather his emotions as he tried to focus on anything other than your curious face. But it’s not a long enough pause to get his words together because you’re speaking up again seconds later.

 “So..last night.” you chuckled. “Sorry for dropping so much emotional baggage on you.” From the corner of his eyes he could see as you struggled with getting the words out. Maybe you were embarrassed by it all and regret sharing in the first place. Great, now he was worried he made you feel bad about speaking at all. “I-I know I’m not the easiest person to talk to when pissed off. And I’ve been such a bitch lately—“

 “You haven’t.” He interrupted quickly. Not wanting you to think even for a second that you were a bitch. Especially when you’ve been dealing with your asshole ex on top of everything else. “And last night can be just last night if you want it to be.” he added, hoping it’d bring you a bit of ease.

 “What?” you asked, confusion back on your face. 

 “I mean, you were obviously upset about Billy and I was there for you to vent it out to. And like I said later on, it doesn’t have to be more than just hanging out today fighting a cat eating monster.”

 He’s attempting to keep cool about this. Not wanting to sound too eager or too offish in case it made you upset. Maybe girls like you need neutrality to keep your emotions together. It was hard to figure out sometimes. 

 “..Okay?” you said slowly. “Sounds good then..”

 While your answer wasn’t as pleased as he had hoped. He was glad it wasn’t making things worse as well. Remembering his cup before him, he quickly downed the liquid. Setting it down in the sink before he glanced back at you. 

 “Uh here,” you spoke up again, reaching for something in the grocery bag. He took a small step towards you and stared down at the new toothbrush in your hand. “Thought you might want this since you can’t exactly head home right away.”

 The gesture was so nice and very much the opposite sort of thing you’d do towards him as of late. It’s throwing off Steve more than he’d like to admit but he managed to keep up his calm demeanor when he reached out to take it from you. “Thanks,” he muttered, trying to ignore the warmth he felt from the heat of your skin. “I’ll just uh, go get to it.”

 Without another glance back, he rushed out of the kitchen. Needing to distance himself from you and your kind gestures. If last night wasn’t already messing with him, then today was definitely going to make things worse.

 “And uhh what about her?” 

 Steve felt stumped with Dustin’s question. All morning the two of them had been going back and forth. Talking about just about everything. Meanwhile, you had been in front of them, leading the long walk to where the junkyard was. It had been quiet between the two of you since this morning. And Steve felt a twist in his stomach at the idea of possibly having made things worse for you.

 But now his thoughts were plagued with a new thought. 

 What kind of girl were you?

 For so long he thought he had it down with girls. Flirt with them, make them laugh, then see how they’d react and go from there. But that was all shot out the window when you came into town. You weren’t a girl who needed a man with confidence, and you definitely weren’t into someone who’d go for the slow approach. There was such a mystery to you and so many times did Steve find himself craving to figure out what it was.

 “..I’m still trying to figure that out.” he replied honestly. 

 From where the two boys stood he could see that you were tensed up a bit. Did you listen in on their conversation? Did you want to hear his answer too?

 “But this girl’s special, too, you know. It’s just like, something about her.”

 “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey.” 

 “What?”

 “You’re not falling in love with this girl, are you?”

 “Uh no, NO.”

 “Okay, good. Don’t!”

 “I won’t.”

 “She’s only gonna break your heart, and you’re way too young for that shit.”

 A quietness fell in their conversation and Steve winced a bit at how dejected the kid looked. He was obviously not given this type of advice on the regular. And he doubts you and Dustin had this kind of heart to heart about love lives. Especially considering that you two fought like babies.

 The kid had the personality, he just needed to know how to use his confidence correctly. 

 “Fabergé.” he muttered.

 “What?”

 Pointing up to his hair, Steve kept walking as he revealed one of his most hidden secrets. “It’s Fabergé Organics. Use the shampoo and conditioner, and when your hair’s damp..it’s not wet, okay? When it’s damp..”

 “Okay, damp..”

 “You do four puffs of the Farrah Fawcett spray.”

 “..Farrah Fawcett spray?”

 “Yeah, Farrah Fawcett.” he said slowly. “You tell anyone I just told you that and your ass is grass.” he pointed a meaty gloved finger at the boy, trying not to feel the slight embarrassment from Dustin’s teasing tone. “You’re dead, Henderson. Do you understand?”

 “Yup,” Dustin replied calmly.

 Sighing, Steve nodded his head, hopeful that he could trust the kid with something like this

 “Move your ass, your highness.” you called out from down the track line. Steve couldn’t help but glance over at you slightly annoyed. The two of you really knew how to get under his skin. But oddly enough, it wasn’t something he could find himself really hating. 

 “Farrah Fawcett, really?”

 “I mean, she’s hot.”

 “Yeah..”

 Their conversation goes back to normal after the life lesson. And Steve’s pleased to see that you’ve decided to walk beside them now. Not really talking, but seemingly wanting to be by them. There’s a moment when Dustin is rambling on about some movie that he thinks Steve should watch, making Steve realize how comfortable he felt. Right there, talking to Dustin about movies and you nearby. 

 For two people that were obviously smarter than him. You both made Steve feel so effortlessly comfortable. There were occasional moments where the two of you would correct him or things like that, which was annoying, but it was never something mean. It was comforting enough that Steve felt he could talk freely. Especially with Dustin who seemed to hang on his every word. 

 How could someone who was as smart as Dustin was, be so excited to hear what Steve had to say?

 He had been so trapped in his thoughts and keeping up with the conversation that Steve never noticed how long you had been watching him. Only noting that there was a curious look in your eyes. So, he shot you a small smile, hoping to ease your curiosity. 

 And to his surprise, you smiled back.

  “You say that like you’ve shared the same experience.” 

“Maybe I have. But I think I’m not the only one.” 

 God is he fucked.

 How did he start off the morning, trying to make things neutral between the two of you, only to open his big dumb mouth and say something that felt like it was something else? You were too smart to not be able to read into the words he was saying.

 Hell, if anything else, that kiss last year was enough to show that Steve did feel something for you. But that was in the past. He loved Nancy. Whatever was said today was only about last year. Right? So why the hell did he feel like he just put his foot in his mouth?

 “What are you doing?”

 Steve jumped a bit at the sound of Max’s voice. Not even noticing that the girl had come up to his side. “Nothing.” he coughed, gripping onto the sheet of metal he had been looking for. You were going to cover up the side of the bus with a lining of metal and would definitely need more than what the two other boys brought you.

 “Why are you staring at her like that?” Max asked next, raising a brow at Steve.

 “I’m not staring at her, I was..lost in thought.” 

 The girl snorted a bit, following where Steve’s eyeline went. And unfortunately, it landed on you. “So your thoughts had to do with my friend over there? Pretty creepy.” she mused softly, turning to gather up another piece of metal. 

 “It’s not like that. I wasn’t–”

 “It’s not like what?”

 “I wasn’t looking at her in thought.” he stuttered, looking down at the young girl with a frown. It was a bit weird how easily this girl got under his skin. “I was in thought and happened to be looking in the direction that she’s standing.” 

 He looked down at Max and noticed that the amusement on her face had turned into full blown smugness. “Okay.” she drawled out, passing him another piece of metal. “If you say so.” Without another word to him, she passed him another sheet of metal, clapped her hands of any dirt and made a beeline down the hill towards you.

 Could this day get any weirder?

  The night eventually creeped its way in, meaning that not only were they to wait out for their plan to work, but they had to wait in the small capacity of the bus. 

 He glanced over the junkyard, taking one last look at the calm before the chaos that was sure to come. He wondered what the others were doing and if they were okay. Were the other last two kids with their siblings? Were they safe at the lab? Was Nancy okay? Did she check in at his house wondering where he was?

 The worst started to come into mind. What if something happened to her and she couldn’t call for help? Then he thought of something even worse than that; what if she didn’t want to call for help?

 Needing to distract himself from that, he finished setting up the gas line to the bus entrance when he closed up the doors. In the corner, he noticed right away that you were sorting through the various bits of trash inside. A worried look on your face. 

 His hand reached out to you. Stopping you from getting any more anxious in front of the kids. 

 “What’s wrong?” 

 “What if..what if this isn’t enough?” Your voice is soft, heavy with worry and vulnerability. A side of you that he only saw the night before and the day you spilled your secret to him. “They’re kids, Steve. What if something really bad comes?”

 “Then we take care of it like last time.”

 “Like last time?! Steve, the four of us could hardly get that thing down. I stabbed it and it barely broke through the skin! Nancy had a gun!”

 The tone of your panic is too loud for his taste and he quickly hushed you over. Needing you to keep cool with him. “Lower your voice!” he hissed, shushing you momentarily before showing you towards the doors. “Look, the plan is foolproof. Okay? These guys..won’t even have to leave the bus.” 

 There was a time once where you were able to get some sort of comfort from him. Back when he had your trust. He’d give anything just to have a normal conversation with you, but he’ll take on trying to calm you down instead. 

 “I’m sorry..I’m just nervous since it’s just us.”

 It’s odd for him to feel slightly comforted at the fact that you see the two of you as a team. But you’re right, it is just the two of you and he knows what you guys are capable of.

 “C’mon, trouble. With my bat and your–” Oh god this crow bar is shit. “With my bat, we have nothing to worry about.”

 That answer didn’t really seem to comfort you fully and you’re slowly looking over him with a worrisome expression. 

 “What about if your bat isn’t enough? You could get hurt.”

 “Oh,” he breathed. Surprised that he was able to say anything after that. It sounded like you were actually concerned about him. But that couldn’t be it. Could it? There was something about the way you keep looking at him today that has him feeling..everything that he shouldn’t. He’s not sure how he can keep acting normal about you and your pondering faces.“Don’t worry about me. Nothing’s gotten me yet.”

 That settled you for a short while. Giving the two of you a chance to sit back and rest with the others for Dart to come and fall for the trap. Max was beside you, murmuring small conversations to you now and then. All while Dustin paced back and forth.

 Like him, the kid was seemingly going through the same kind of mix of emotions. Mainly, with girls. Max was the one he had been referring to earlier in the day, and he could see why Dustin might be interested in a girl like that. 

 Fiery personality, witty quips, and smart. It was words he’d easily use to describe you. But there was one big difference in all this. Dustin wanted to impress Max to date her. And Steve, well, he wanted to date– No, wait he didn’t want to date. He wanted to be friends with you. 

 That’s all. 

 “..Shit. Don’t be an idiot. Okay? It wasn’t a bear. Why are you even here if you don’t believe us?..Just go home.” 

 Steve’s attention snapped over to Dustin as he gave a harsh reply to Max. There was definitely some effort from the boy in terms of not caring. But he wasn’t sure he should have added the insult. And from Max’s reaction, she didn’t seem too pleased with it either. Ditching the three of you in favor of joining Lucas on the roof. 

 It wasn’t the best move for Dustin, but Steve thought it was good enough for a first try around. “That’s good. Just show her you don’t care.” he encouraged.

 “I don’t.”

 Steve was pleased. Knowing that with proper instruction and encouragement, Dustin could easily change his life from heartache to heartthrob.

 “You both are seriously idiots.” you said, coming into the conversation finally. Steve watched over carefully, seeing as your stunned look from before changed to annoyance. “How you’ve gotten any date is beyond me.”

 “What are you talking about?” Steve scoffed, a little insulted by your dislike. He’s capable of getting tons of girls. Especially with his methods. “The kid did great.” he insisted a second later.

 “Really?” you huffed. “Calling Max an idiot and making her feel bad. That’s great to you?”

 “They’re kids. They’re used to jabbing. The girl’s tough. She’ll probably get over it by the time she comes back down.” he replied quickly. 

 “And what if she’s not? Your shitty advice could have led her away.”

 Steve nearly gasped at your words. His advice, although a bit extreme, was solid. Glancing over at Dustin, he raised a brow, hopeful for the kid to come into his defense. But all the boy could do was stare between the two of them.  

 “Look, my methods have worked before. So I don’t know what you’re freaking out about.” he said simply. “Just let the dude work it out for himself and see what happens.”

 You huff about wanting to check on his past girlfriends while moving to kneel at the seat next to him. Without really thinking he couldn’t help but stare over at you. Going over all the ideas that he did to his past girlfriends and rethinking things over. 

 “Tell me, Trouble. What do you suggest then?” He asked, needing to see what gained your approval. As far as he knows Billy was your longest relationship and Steve didn’t think Billy of all people even knew how to court a girl. 

 “What do you mean?” You said back, not giving him your full attention yet. 

 “You think you have this all figured out. How would you have told him to do it?”

 You took a deep breath and adjusted around in the seat until you were beside him. Letting Steve have the chance to feel the brush of your arm on his. It’s annoying how much that stayed on his mind while you replied to him. 

 “Simple. I’d suggest he’d go about this the normal way.”

 “Which is?” 

 There was a beat of silence after that and Steve quickly fiddled with the lighter in his hands, hoping he could distract himself from overthinking. 

 “Girls just want it simple. They want someone who’s honest, loyal, and nice. They’re not gonna want a guy who’s gonna play mind games with them.”

 The very mention of mind games has Steve frowning slightly. He’s been in the biggest mind game of his life with Nancy for the past two days and you’re sitting here trying to tell him it’s the other way around. 

“Girls constantly play mind games,” he said quickly. “You guys perfected it.”

 That doesn’t stump you at all. You raise a brow, looking at him with a tired look. “Maybe the immature ones. But really, most girls are like Max, who expect people to be real. And if your past girlfriends aren’t like that, then you’re in the wrong dating pool.”

 What the hell is she on about? He thought, falling into a mess of questions in his mind. There were many past relationships that came into mind, but one outstanding question could not stop echoing in his mind.

 “And what about you?”

 “What about me?” 

 Licking his lips, he looked over at you carefully. “Are you like Max? Looking for honesty?”

 Right away he can tell you’re a little taken back to have it turned on you. Which he’s slightly proud of himself for. But there’s a small part of him worried about hearing what kind of answer you might have for him. 

 “I’m not looking for any guy at the moment..”

 “But what if you were? What kind of guy?”

 “..I just want someone who actually likes me for once.” 

 In just ten simple words, he feels like his world has turned upside down. How could you feel like there hasn’t been anyone out there who’s truly liked you ever? He wants to believe that it’s impossible for that to be true. But there’s no time left for him to think it over. Because Dart has suddenly arrived into the junkyard and all their focus has to go in keeping to the plan. 

 But it’s hard, and he finds that he’s distracted with how aware he is suddenly of you and all the kids being here with just his bat as the only weapon. With just Dart, it shouldn’t be so bad, but there’s no telling if everything was going to go correctly. 

 Beside him, he can hear the sound of your shaking breath. Reaching a hand out, he hoped that with him near you’d have some small sense of comfort to what was going on. 

 Up on the roof, Lucas called out to where Dart was. And thankfully it’s on the right path towards the center pile of meat that you guys poured out. Only for a moment can Steve feel the knot in his back loosen. But that’s all thought too soon and the sight of the monster sniffing around the meat instead of eating it, has Steve glaring out the window. 

 “He’s not taking the bait. Why is he not taking the bait?” he asked frustratedly. 

 “It’s like he’s waiting for something.” you said under your breath. 

 “Maybe he’s not hungry?” Dustin said, trying to be hopeful. But something about Dart being hungry clicked in Steve’s mind. If this thing was growing, it was bound to start hunting. And like all those terrible animal documentaries he saw in Science class, they were bound to want their food fresh.

 “Maybe he’s sick of cow.” Steve said suddenly, getting an idea.

 “Sick of cow?” He heard you scoff. But he was too busy trying to think of how he’d run out this play to dive into explaining everything. All he did was squeeze at your soft hand once more before letting go. 

 “Steve?” you said in the smallest voice. 

 He shuddered a bit. Not quite prepared for the worry in your tone.  Dustin was next to turn back and look at you, face mirroring yours perfectly. 

 “Steve, what are you doing?” he asked when he had made his way over to the door. It caused him to stop in place and turn around, holding up the lighter. 

 Just get ready.” he ordered before tossing it to the younger boy. His eyes met yours only for a second before he tore himself away. Afraid you might actually talk him out of this crazy idea. 

 The moment he stepped out the bus, he felt that this is where shit was going to go wrong. It was too quiet and too tense for just the small creature he’d be taking on. But even with the hair on the back of his neck rising, and the thought of everyone on the bus watching him, he still stepped forward. 

 It’s a second or two of calling out to Dart. Grip on the bat tight and ready to swing away at the beast. That’s when shit finally hits the fan and suddenly Lucas is screaming at him from the bus. From the sides, more creatures that looked like Dart started to appear. 

 He was being surrounded. He was going to die by ambush. 

 Just when he was sending out a prayer you’d get the kids to look away, he heard the sound of a heavy breath behind him. Glancing over, he’s nearly sent into a heart attack at the sight of you and that stupid, rusty, crowbar. 

 “You’ve gotta be kidding me!” he shouted. Upset and worried at seeing you try to take on some of the creatures. He needed you back in the bus where he would know you were safe with the kids. Not here trying to get yourself killed. 

 “I’ve got your back, just get your ass back over to the bus!” you shouted back, not looking at the worry you’ve suddenly filled Steve with. From behind, he could hear the screech of the bus doors open as Dustin called out to the two of you.

 “Guys! Abort! Abort!”

 That triggered off the dogs and it’s a vicious fight to get the two of you back over to the bus. 

 All around Steve felt the knot in his stomach grow bigger. With every swing to a creature, his eyes glanced to the bus. You weren’t keeping up with him in order to protect him. Failing to keep watch of yourself. 

 Rushing to your side, he watched as you used the sharp end of the crowbar to jab the face of one of the dogs. Causing the creature to recoil in pain and give Steve the chance to grab hold of you. 

 “Are you out of your mind?” he growled. 

 “I couldn’t just leave you alone!”

 The two of you heed the warning from Dustin and dash the rest of the way in. Steve only had a second past the threshold of the bus doors before the demodogs attacked the bus.

 “They’re gonna break through!” you yelled. 

 He reached past you to grab onto one of the metal paneling, using it as an extra barrier to the bus doors. But before he could secure it better, the bus is hit hard by one of the creatures, forcing it to dip on itself and make everyone lose their footing.

 You fall down to the door, hitting against the metal roughly. Steve’s worried you might have hit your head when suddenly a claw punched through the metal, swiping at your arm. The kids let out a panicked cry and you let out a yelp at the attack. 

 After that he sees red. 

 Slamming his bat down on any creature that broke its claw through. Amid his swinging, the sounds of Max’s scream caught the attention of the two of you. Quickly, you reached over to place down another sheet of metal. Holding it back safely enough before you looked over at him. 

 “Go help them! I’m fine!” you insisted. 

 A part of him didn’t like the slight panic on your tone, but went ahead to the kids anyway. 

 “Out of the way! Out of the way!” he ordered. “You want some? Come get this!”

 The creature let out a snarl to him, making it look like he was about to dive in when it suddenly was cut off. All around the roof was cleared off of the demodogs as if they were being forced into a retreat. 

 The group slowly scrambled back together. Making their way over to the bus doors. 

 Steve is the first one to make the move to step outside. Looking around the place for any sort of sneak attack that could happen. He can hear the murmured reactions of all the kids. But Steve knew by the look of things that things weren’t as they seemed.

 “Steve scared ‘em off?”

 “No. No way. They’re going somewhere.” Where though, was the question in mind. 

  It’s later on in the night and Steve can’t stop this knot that’s formed in his stomach. The group has long gone left the junkyard and down the hilltop. With the demodogs surely on their way to the lab, there was no telling what danger they’d be approaching. 

 Sure the coats sitting up in the lab probably had some high level security personnel. But were they strong enough? 

 There’s also the fact that you keep lagging behind in the group. Keeping yourself distant. He couldn’t help but frown over at you. Were you quiet because he had failed to keep you out of harm? Were you upset for him being mad that you came out of the bus to help when he didn’t need it?

 Dustin is calling out to you. Yelling your name slightly worriedly but you quickly shush him. Pulling him to your side. Leaning in close to keep whatever conversation between the two of you a secret. 

 Eventually he’s pulling away from you, a frown on his face as he nodded his head. You urge him off and finally notice that Steve has been watching you. But instead of approaching you about it, he left you off to yourself, leading the kids out of the treelines. 

 That’s when the group ran into Nancy..with Jonathan. 

  Steve kept his gaze forward. Fixating on the flashlight on his hands and not at the fact that once the lights in the lab came back on Nancy and Jonathan took off in his car. Leaving Steve and the rest of you behind. 

 Was everything that’s been rumored these past few days true?

 Was Nancy with Jonathan now? Did she like him? Did she love– No, he wouldn’t think about that. He couldn’t. He should focus on something else. There was always later for answers. Nancy and Jonathan both had brothers that could be up in that lab. It made sense they’d go off together. 

 Even if it meant he couldn’t be there to protect her. 

 The scuffing of shoes perked in his ears and he noticed that you’re still pacing before. Worried eyes glancing back to the lab before turning to go back to walking. It’s weird. Tonight he’s seen more sides of you than ever. The worried, the insecure, the unsure. It’s all nice as much as it’s worrisome to himself. He wants to help you but is not quite sure if you’d take the help right now. So he’d settle for distracting you. 

 “I’ve never seen you this nervous before.” he pointed out calmly, staying still in place with the flashlight in hand. 

 “Who says I’m nervous?” 

 It’s amusing to see that you’re so stubborn at trying to keep your presence as calm and collective when clearly you are not. 

 “Well, the hole in the ground your feet are making is a start.” he shrugged, trying to keep things light. “There’s also the fact that you’ve been frowning since they took off.”

 You let out a huff, seeming to think it over with a nod before you walked over to lean against the glass of the security box. The smile is forced, but more so in a playful way.

 “There.” you said. “No more pacing and no more frowning. Better?”

 He can’t help but chuckle at that, glad to see that you’re taking the playing along. The smile on your face grew wider and he felt for the first time in the night that he’s feeling a little bit of the knot in his stomach loosen up.

 “Much better.” 

 It’s a little bit chaotic after the brief interaction with you, and the rest of you are surprised to find the Chief coming in with a van after the car that had Jonathan and Nancy zoomed by.

 The group quickly climbed inside the van. Piling into until Steve let the Chief know he could drive off. Leaving behind the sounds of the creatures loud screams.

  It’s another year of Steve finding himself inside the Byers home. As if the night wasn’t hard enough with the demodogs, now Steve’s vision is attacked with the sight of you and Nancy at Jonathan’s side. 

 He’s jealous. He can admit to that.

 Not only does Jonathan have you by his side comforting him. But Nancy too. The two of you haven’t left his side since the group entered inside the house. Not that he can say anything otherwise. Will was definitely not well, and it made sense that all of you close to him were worried. 

 But the sight of it all had his..allergies acting up again. 

 “When did you get hurt?” 

 “She’s hurt?”

 Steve was immediately pulled out of wallowing away in his self pity when he heard the sound of everyone’s sudden concern. How could he have forgotten that you were injured before. There was a scratch and blood that he saw, but after Dustin tended to it, he figured it must have been a minor cut. 

 You seemed to be stumbling into trying to ease the injury. Playing off the whole story like it was some sitcom when in reality, the demodogs had nearly gotten you. He wonders if anyone else is able to catch on to how uncomfortable you are to have this kind of attention on you. 

 “I can, uh, help her.” he blurted out without thinking.

 The three of you are taken back by his offer. Probably not expecting him to intervene with any kind of help considering that the four of you didn’t have the best relationship with each other. Jonathan raised a brow at Steve. Possibly trying to get a read on him before his gaze turned to you. All you did was shrugged in confusion.

 “You okay with that?” he asked softly. 

 Steve can’t help but feel slightly embarrassed at the fact that his effort to be helpful in this situation is taken with such heavy caution. Yes, the three of you would have reason the year before to have a lack of trust towards him. But he thinks he’s proven enough for you guys to know he’s serious with things now. Thankfully you don’t let the awkwardness linger much further. 

 “Uh yeah,” you said pointing down the hall with your thumb. “Still got that kit in the bathroom?”

 “Yeah, there should be stuff there you can use.”

 You nod for Steve to follow you and he’s happy to have some space away from the two other teens and instead go back to the comfort of your company. While he’s had problems with getting you to forgive him, it was at least the most honest. Something he couldn’t have exactly with Nancy at the moment. 

 In the bathroom, you’re leaning against the sink. Allowing Steve to be in a closer proximity to your wound. “Let me know if I hurt you.” he mumbled as he carefully started to undo the knot. There’s unfortunately very little light in the bathroom and he found himself leaning in closer than he planned. Almost feeling the heat of your body through the layers of clothing.

 “Okay, I got this undone but I need to help clean it properly. You gotta get rid of the jacket.” For some reason that pulled an adorable pout on your face and he had to hide his amusement as he dropped the dingy bloody thing into the trash can.

 The cut itself is practically healed with how long it’s been kept with a bandage. But he can see why it was bleeding so bad in the first place. The lines were pretty gnarly, and he’s surprised that you’ve gone so long without taking anything for the pain you must have. Running some clean water, he rubbed gently at the back of your arm, making sure to give a comforting touch to compete with the tugging he was about to give to your wound.

 A pang of guilt hit him as he dabbed over the red skin. This shouldn’t have happened to you. All you wanted to do was protect the kids and because he didn’t make sure it was as safe as you wanted, you ended up hurt. You’d have a whole new reason to hate him tomorrow. If you wanted to, that is. At this point, your mood towards him has been pretty back and forth. 

 “Be honest,” you said softly, gaining his attention. “Is it bad? Will I have to wear sweaters for the rest of my life?”

 The light hearted attempt at conversation has him laughing a bit. Even when you were unaware of the troubles in his mind, you somehow managed to get him out of it. Moving your arm up, he showed you the now cleaned cuts. There’s a small realization to your eyes and he’s happy to see you’re taking this in a better way than he would have. 

 “It’s so bad.” you said, sarcastically slapping a palm over your face. The dramatics are kind of amusing to him. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say that the two of you were getting along. So with that small hope, he volleyed off your joke.

 “It’s disgusting.” he snorted. “They’ll have to chop it off for sure.”

 The laugh you let out is sort of melodious to his ears. Not because it was pretty, it was pretty cackley. But because it’s so genuine. It has him feeling almost giddy inside at the idea of making you feel better enough that you’re laughing with him and not at him. He couldn’t help but join in a bit while he attempted to finish up his patch work. 

 From the corner of his eye he can tell you’re watching him closely. Will this be when you remember that you still hate him? Can he handle going back to that kind of animosity again? But before he can try and think of a way to continue the good mood between you two, you’re reaching a hand up to brush against his brows. Affectionately trying to ease the frown on his face. 

 He let his eyes slip close. Trying to bask in the moment of being comforted by you and just forget for one second that he’s fixing up your arm in the Byers’ bathroom. The pad of your fingers is soft and he’s wondering how it’d feel to be really comforted by someone like you. 

 Not that he’d deserve it..or should want it. 

 Reaching up, he pulled at your arm to move your hand to rest against his. Keeping you from making him impulsively reach out for more of your touch. You must think he’s upset because the next thing he knew, you were apologizing. 

 “I’m sorry,” you said quickly. “About what happened back there. I know it was stupid of me and you’re probably mad about it.”

 For a moment he couldn’t say anything but look at you. How could you think he was upset at you? Sure, it was terrifying to see you out in that junkyard. But the main focus was just getting you inside. He wanted you safe. All he wanted was for you to feel safe..

 You reached out to weave your fingers with his. Causing a fire to form in his hands. Why were you always so warm? It was almost like his body was hyper aware of the new touch. He couldn’t help but flash back to this morning where he found himself tangled with you. 

 “You were just trying to keep us safe..but something about you out there alone. It didn’t sit right with me.”

 “I would have been fine.” he replied softly, giving you a look. You should know by now that he’d always find a way around things. But why were you so suddenly concerned over him? You shouldn’t be. And yet, his reply has you ducking her head down shyly. Like he pointed out something he wasn’t supposed to be aware about. 

 “Maybe I didn’t want to take that chance.”

 The two of you shuffled a bit, trying to ease around each other without pulling away. In fact, he’s managed to wedge himself close enough that you’re standing before him now. 

 Why couldn’t you take that chance? Why’d you risk getting yourself hurt to just make sure that he didn’t? It didn't make any sense. You still hated him, right?

 “..You wouldn’t have felt that way two days ago.” he pointed out.

 There’s a quick pause before you nod your head in agreement. So if you were aware of those previous feelings and know that what was being said right now completely contradicted all that. Then why say anything like this? What were you truly feeling?

 And why couldn’t he just ask you that?

  “Feelings change.”

 Something tugged at his chest and he impulsively couldn’t stop the words from falling past his lips. The curiosity getting the best out of him apparently. “Yeah? Just like that?” he asked, reaching out to cradle at your neck.

 He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t be needing this as much as he does right now. But something about the way you’re looking at him tonight as him rethinking all his words today. Wondering just what and when did things change for you. And if it were changing for him too.

 “It can happen for someone as quick as a day.” you said, repeating his very words to him. 

 He’s torn between diving into the depth of what your words mean, and taking action to what he thinks they mean. For just this moment, nothing past this small bathroom seemed to matter. In his head, he’s aware that not only do not hate him, but that your feelings have changed entirely. 

 And with the way you’re looking at his lips, he has an idea of what you might mean. 

 All he’d have to do is kiss you now. Give into the curiosity that you both have and settle once and for all if the feelings between you have really changed. 

 Just kiss her. 

 Kiss her now.

 Forget about everything and–

 The sudden voices from Dustin and his friends cut through the moment. Making both of you jump away from each other and give some space between the two of you. The interruption from your cousin might have ruined the moment, but it gave Steve a second to realize what he almost did. 

 How could he have so easily swayed to wanting to kiss you after being torn up about seeing Nancy with Jonathan moments ago? This was sick. He was sick! It shouldn't be so easy to think about kissing you when just a day ago he was begging for Nancy to tell him that she loves him. 

 This wasn’t fair to you. This wasn’t fair to Nancy. And it definitely wasn’t fair to himself.

 “Thanks for the patch up.” you said softly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. The action caught him off guard and he found that he was too stunned to get a reply out to you before you left without another word. 

 Now Steve was left to his rambling thoughts, and the feeling of your warm lips still over his skin.

  Things don’t get any clearer after that. Eventually the kids put together some sort of idea of just what everyone could be dealing with. It wasn’t just the demodogs, but something bigger, something smarter. 

 Dustin had brought out a book from Will’s room. Something from their D&D games that Steve honestly had no idea what that stood for. But as Dustin turned the pages to the book, he pointed out the main culprit for who they thought was in charge. 

 The mind flayer. 

 Apparently a monster so grand and powerful that he might just be able to take over Hawkins in a Nazi like way with the help of the demodogs and whatever possession he had with Will. So basically the end of the world.

 Or a regular weekend in Hawkins, he figured. 

 The topic of an upcoming attack has the entire kitchen filled with a tension that Steve thinks is almost unbearable. He glanced over towards Jonathan and Nancy. Noting their more composed positions on the matter. Nancy is more than ready to fight, asking questions in her mind. That’s when the Chief seemingly took in a more sarcastic interest.

 “Great, so how do you kill this thing? Shoot it with fireballs or something?”

 “No. No, no fire–no fireballs.” Dustin chuckled, unaware of the adult’s disinterest. “Uh, you summon an undead army, uh, because..because zombies, you know, they don’t have brains. And the mind flayer, it..it likes brains.”

 The Chief gave the kid a look that was a mixture of being completely done and angry.

 “It’s just a game.” Dustin added quickly. “It’s a game..”

 “What the hell are we doing here?” Hopper cried out tiredly. Steve rolled his eyes, not wanting to add any fuel to the fire. But apparently you did since you took a step forward, eyes glaring over at the older man. 

 “I don’t know about you, Hopper. But some of us have been trying to figure out how to fight against these things all damn day! We even set up a base to lure it in!” Everyone stared in shock. 

Not any one of those kids there thought about ever talking back to the Chief of police that way. Let alone tell the guy off. Of course you’d be the one to be so bluntly truthful to your thoughts. “I think things might be a little bit more helpful if you weren’t so damn sarcastic with these kids!”

 If Hopper’s glare scared you in the slightest, you didn’t dare show it. Steve couldn’t help but admire your gumption. Albeit reckless considering who you were speaking with but still pretty damn cool. And hot.

 “You don’t know what the hell we just went through, kid. What we had to do. So quit acting like you do!”

 “I think I’ve got a pretty damn good idea!” you laughed, pointing to the cut on your arm. “But at least I know better than to waste everyone’s time by being a sarcastic assho-”

 Steve couldn’t help himself and reached around to cover your mouth. Just because he was able to take your sharp words with pride, didn’t mean everyone else could. Especially the very irritable man with the access to handcuffs.

 “You do realize he’s still Chief of Police, right?” he muttered low. 

 ““He could be the goddamn President for all I care! That doesn’t give him a right to mock the only people around here trying to help!”

 After that spark of anger, it seemed to set off the other kids. Making each one of them spew out their concerns and ideas to a very tired Hopper. Steve thinks the worst is gonna happen with no help, no plans, and no weapons. But that went away when Joyce Byers emerged from her room finally. 

 There’s a painful desperation in her voice as she told Hopper about wanting to kill whatever was inside Will. And it looked like the Chief was going to shut her down until Mike spoke up. Leading the group to observe a sleeping Will closely. 

 “If anyone knows how to destroy this thing, it’s Will. He’s connected to it. He’ll know its weakness.”

  “I thought we couldn’t trust him anymore.” Max pointed out. “That he’s a spy for the mind flayer now.”

  “Yeah, but he can’t spy if he doesn’t know where he is.”

  After that, a plan is quickly thought up. 

 Everyone is forced into different tasks, pairing off groups of three and two to gather up supplies and set up the shed in the back. Steve found himself doing the latter with Nancy. Something he was hesitant about. Especially when he found out you’d be coming in with the supplies. 

 Today had already been pretty confusing. But working closely with the two of you seemed to make him nervous, honestly. Nancy was helping close by, picking up the nails and such to hand over to Steve. 

 He couldn’t help but find it funny that he was now doing the same thing you had done earlier to the bus. Making him smile a bit at the memory until Nancy spoke up. 

 “What you did, um, helping the kids. That was..really cool.”

 “Yeah.” Steve replied coolly, trying not to read too much into her words at the moment. “Those little shits are real trouble, you know?”

 “Believe me, I know.” she chuckled.

 It’s a nice calming moment and he’s thankful that’s the main start of their conversation. Unfortunately, he might be the only one who was thinking that. Because the next thing he heard was the sound of your voice entering the room.

 For some reason, you’re upset. More upset than he’d ever thought you’d be. And for once the main focus of your anger isn’t necessarily him. But to Nancy. 

 Too quickly are the vicious words coming out of your mouth. He’s sad to say he’s stumbling over easing up the situation. It isn’t until he attempted to reach out for your hand, and get you to calm down that he realized he might join Nancy in your verbal assault. 

 “God,” you said, getting out of his grip. “You two really are something else.”

 The judgment in your words didn’t feel good, and he’s mildly aware that while their conversation was innocent. The situation between them is far from being settled any time soon. But that shouldn’t be any of your concern. So why were you so angry, and why did that bother him so much?

 “Continue to enjoy the bullshit, Steve.”

 The words hit him harder than he expected. And he finds himself momentarily transported back to how he felt that night at the party. A phantom like pain going right to his hand as if he just hit it on the steering wheel.

 “Steve..” Nancy said softly. But all he did was hold up his hand, not quite done with you just yet. 

 “I’m sorry.” he said leaving her side. With a few strides he arrived at your side and grabbed onto your arm before you could step into the house. “Do you want to tell me what the hell that was about?” he asked you, eyes worriedly looking down at you.

 “Let me go!” you whined, going as far to slap at his hand. It’s childlike and very much the opposite of the fiery girl he saw just moments ago. Instead of listening, he moved to grabbing you by the shoulders. Keeping you standing before him so he could get some answers.

 “Relax.” he insisted. “Why are you so upset?” 

 “Because, Steve! What she did to you wasn’t okay and you’re just talking with her casually? Like nothing happened?”

 He couldn’t understand where you got that idea from. If anything they were more awkward with each other than before. “She was just thanking me for helping with the kids. We’ve barely spoken all night.” he reasoned, trying to put together where they seemed to go back to things normally. 

 “She’s barely given you the time of day since that party! And up until tonight, she didn’t even bother to know where you were and if you were okay.”

 The reality of his worries coming into light hurt a lot coming from you than if he heard it from Nancy herself. You were the most blunt and truthful person that he knew right now. And it wasn’t like you gained any benefit by hurting his feelings at this moment. 

 That still didn’t stop the pain hitting over him.

 “Look, I’m sorry.” you sighed, sounding genuinely apologetic. “I know that..I’m being harsh. I don’t mean to make things worse. But I just don’t want—can’t see you get hurt again.”

 He breathed heavily through his nose. As if he could blow out the ache from his lungs. But despite your honesty and apologies. There’s still something he’s desperate to know. 

 Why the hell did this matter to you so much?

 “I don’t see why you even care. I don’t. It’s over with..”

 “Because, Steve.” You said, moving in closer towards him. “Believe it or not but someone actually gives a shit about you for once.”

 There’s a pain in your voice that’s oddly matching his. Where were these feelings coming from? You shouldn’t feel this way about him at all. This was not your problem to deal with. The only thing you should be worried about is making sure you and the rest are safe. Not his feelings..they didn’t matter. Right?

 Closing up the last bit of distance, he stepped closer to you, looking down at you worriedly. 

 “You shouldn’t care,” he sighed. “We’re not friends..you’ve told me that so many times.”

 There was something about the way you were looking up at him that was drawing him in closer. Was it the heat from your body? The softness in your words? Or was it just you?

 “I know.” you sighed back to him. Looking just as torn up as he felt. 

 Without saying anything else you reached out to him, placing a hand down on his chest. The close contact has his heart beating erratically. Enough so that he’s sure you can feel it. He leaned his head down, getting closer to yours until finally; your lips met. 

 It was safe to say that his entire body is ignited once the two of you start to kiss. Like the last time you two shared a kiss, he can feel the entire world disappear. His senses are all heightened just to focus on you. The softness of your cheek in his hand, the sweet smell of your perfume, the sound of your breath against his, and the taste of your lips with remnants of some sweet lip gloss you had been wearing. 

 This was all a sensory overload for Steve but he doesn’t dare let go of it just yet. A secret part of him must have been yearning for this all day because he found himself pulling you in tighter. Making sure you felt him in the same way he could feel you. 

  Unfortunately, you’re the first to pull back and he has to stop himself from chasing after your lips. But with some air finally getting to his brain, he has the chance to remember that the two of you weren’t kissing at the privacy of your front door step. No, you were in the Byers backyard, preparing to save Will. 

 Your eyes don’t meet Steve’s and he can’t help but reach out to get you to look at him. Raising only a questioning brow at you as he waited for your answer to what just happened right now. 

 “We’re not friends.” you repeated. “But maybe because I want to be more than that..”

 And with that, you backed away from Steve. Turning around quickly to enter inside the house without so much as a glance back to the chaos you’ve left in Steve’s mind. 

 How long have you felt that way? What did he do to change your mind? And most importantly, what can he do to get you to kiss him like that again?

 As much as he’d like to stand there for hours going over that whole conversation, there was still work to do. So he turned on his heel and entered the shed again. Nancy, who was folding up the tarp slowly, did not meet his eyes. 

 A pang of guilt hit him when he realized that she possibly witnessed the whole thing.

 “Nancy?” he called out softly. Her gaze snapped up to him, but instead of a look of heartbreak like he expected, he was met with her curious gaze. “About what just happened. I uh–”

 “Hey, you guys are slowing down.” Mike huffed as he came into the shed. “You need to pick up the pace.”

 He stole a glance at Nancy, watching as she nodded her head to Mike before handing the tarp over to the kid and making her exit. The inevitable conversation would just have to happen at a later time. 

  Despite the drama and setting up everything. The two of you managed to avoid Steve. Leaving him to figure out nothing but how to make sure the shed was perfectly wrapped up. Something he didn’t have too much of a problem with considering it was probably the more important matter to take care of.

 But eventually the rest of you are forced back inside the Byers house while Hopper, Joyce, Jonathan and Mike are attempting to get Will to snap back. 

 Steve decided to keep himself busy with the bat. Using old methods of stretching back from when he was on the baseball team. But like usual lately, he can’t help but turn his attention on you. 

 Especially now that he’s seeing you on your softer side as you quietly spoke with Dustin. Letting him know what you really think of him and his actions today. It’s not like he needed the boost, the kid probably knows he’s doing the right thing. But something about Dustin’s reaction to you telling him brought out a shyness he didn’t think the kid would have. 

 “We’re Hendersons. No one gets to mess with us.”

  “Hell yeah,” Dustin said back to you. “No one.” 

 There was a sense of unity between the two of you. Even if you both have tried to kill each other the day before, and bickered on the path to the junkyard, there was still something strong that Steve longed for. 

 He must have been staring too long because before he can look away, you’re meeting his eyes. And for some reason he can’t help but smile. But that quickly dropped the second the lights in the house began to flicker. 

 The group of you rushed over towards the windows, observing the shed quietly as you waited to see if anything had changed since you guys last checked. Something in the pit of Steve’s stomach began to turn at the lights. All he could remember was the year in this very house when the flickering lights meant the monster would be emerging in the house. But considering how calm you and Nancy are, he holds back from speaking about that. 

 Eventually the flickering stopped and the members from the shed came back to the house. Hopper quickly came to the conclusion that while cannot speak for himself, he’s using morse code as a method to communicate. 

 The groups separated again after that. The kids left inside surrounding the table while they teamed up to decipher it.  up with some theory about Will speaking through morse code. Steve hoped that one of his friends here would be able to decipher it. 

 The message ends up coming quicker than they thought and soon enough everyone is around the paper, reading the message aloud. 

 “CLOSE GATE.”

 The phone sprung to life, screaming out its bell and setting the group into a small panic. Dustin and Nancy both fight with the phone before it’s ultimately smashed down into the kitchen floor. For a second all of you are quiet, almost afraid to make another noise before Max spoke up. 

 “Do you think he heard that?”

 Steve wanted to think about it as positively as he could. “It’s just a phone,” he pointed out. “It could be anywhere. Right?”

 A loud screech echoed in the distance. Giving Steve the absolute worst answer he could have gotten.

 It’s a bit chaotic after that and the others are all scrambling together in the house. The kids rounded up together in the back of the room while the adults worked to make a barrier with the teens. He’s about to enter the living room when he noticed you dashing down the hall. 

 “Hey, come on, we need you out here.” Steve said entering inside. There’s a look on your face that reminded him of being back on the bus. You’re struggling to find a weapon and he’s sure you’re preparing to fight even with your bad arm. 

 “I-I can’t. I don’t have anything to fight with.” you said quickly. “Why the hell did Jonathan take up photography? I need a weapon not a goddamn film strip!”

 He reached out for your hand, feeling the warmth from your fingertips spread over him as he led you towards the living room. “Just watch the kids, I got you.” he urged, hoping that this time you’ll believe him and won’t get hurt. 

 He turned to face the windows and doorway when you tugged down at the sleeve of his jacket.

 “Be careful.” you warned. 

 The same warmth he felt moments before bloomed over his chest. Even without physical touch, it felt like you were protecting him with your words alone and he had to hold back the pleasing smile that the feeling brought. He chose to nod instead. 

 “Where are they?” called out Max.

 All around the house began to make various thuds and creaks. Making the group turn slightly panicked at which direction the assault would be coming from.

 “What are they doing?” Nancy asked from beside him. 

 “They’re scaling the house for another ambush.” He heard you reply. 

 He really hoped that you were wrong and that there’d be possibly just one of those dogs outside. Otherwise they were gonna need a lot more bullets to take some of these guys down. 

 The noises around the house are getting louder and all over the place. No one could pinpoint which direction it was coming from. But just as Steve was ready for the worst, the creature outside let out a loud whimper. 

 “What the hell was that?” you hissed behind him. 

 The answer was a demodog as it was launched into the front window of the house. All of you screamed and fell back towards the wall. Keeping a distance from the creature’s body. It laid there motionless but the sight of it was enough to keep everyone tensed up.

 Hopper was the first one to take small steps before it. 

 “Holy shit.” Dustin muttered.

 “Is it dead?” Max asked next. 

 Hopper gave the creature a tap with his foot, keeping the shotgun on him. It was definitely dead, but if not by anyone in the room, then how the hell did it die?

 The front door of the house creaked, setting everyone back on edge as they readied their weapons. But what came in next confused Steve. Because instead of another monster like he figured, in walked a small little girl with a bloody nose. 

 “So, she’s from the upside down?” Steve asked again.

 Nancy, who had led him to the backyard gave him another weird look. “I told you before. She’s not from there. She just knows how to access it.”

 Steve frowned down at the pile of things before him.

 Immediately after the little girl or El as you introduced her as, came into the room, things seemed to shift into a more hopeful light. There was a way to close up whatever connection the mind flayer had on Will and that relied on the strange girl that seemed to bring out emotions from all of you except Steve and Max. 

 “And she was here last year?”

 “Yes.”

 “Where the hell was she when we were fighting that thing in the house last time?” he frowned, tossing a box of hangers behind him. 

 “She was at the school with the other kids..kinda saved them from the demogorgon before sending it back to the upside down.” 

 It’s hard for Steve to wrap his mind around, but he appreciated the brief story anyway. 

 Glancing over at Nancy, he can’t help but note that the frown was back on her face. She’s been off with him again, just like the past month. But there wasn’t any excuse about Barb, nor was it anything that Steve had done. He can tell by now. She’s worried. And while he wished it was because of what she might have seen or heard before. He knows that her concern at the moment was not about him. 

 And while that hurt Steve deep down, he still cared about Nancy. Hell, he’s pretty sure he still loves her. But if keeping her here was going to hurt her like this, then he’d suck up whatever emotions he had and help her out.

 “You should go with him.” Steve said before he could change his mind. 

 “What?” she asked, slightly taken back.

 “With Jonathan.”

 “No,” she scoffed. “I’m not just gonna leave Mike.” 

 Steve looked up at her, wondering if your words might have hit her more than you thought. Or if this was another worry that she might have had on her mind. Either way, Steve knew that she’d never leave if he didn’t reassure her. 

 “No one’s leaving anyone.” 

 Getting up, he carefully helped pull away some of the storage items to help Nancy look for the heaters they were asked to retrieve. 

 “I may be a pretty shitty boyfriend, but turns out I’m actually a pretty damn good babysitter.” he said picking up the item they needed. Though his words were said clear and confidently, Steve found that he almost feared meeting her gaze.

 Nancy was the girl he wanted for so long now. And while he’s used to being a winner, he can tell that this time he’d have to admit defeat fully. He wasn’t the boyfriend she wanted or deserved..and he’d have to deal with that. 

 Even if it meant feeling this shitty.

 “Steve..” Her words sounded almost genuinely concerned. Like she wanted to try and fix things. But like their relationship; their time was up. 

 “It’s okay, Nance.” he said looking at her. “It’s okay.”

 Not being able to keep hold of eye contact anymore, he turned away. Making his way towards the pile again. Just when he had hoped that Nancy would go inside and give him a final moment to mourn their relationship, she took a step over and placed her hand on his arm.

 Her grip is cold. Whether it be from weather or because of how it felt to be beside her now. 

 “I’m–..” The words couldn’t seem to form in her mouth and Steve felt like dying at the idea that he wasn’t going to get the closure he wanted. But her struggle to say anything was starting to become worse than the silence so he gently removed her hand from his side with a pat to the back of her hand. 

 “It’s okay..for you too.” she said after a minute. He stayed quiet. Unsure of how to react to what she was implying. But he nodded his head anyway. 

 The two worked quietly after that, only wishing each other luck once they made it back to the front door of the house. He caught you and Jonathan heatedly talking at the back of his car. A disgruntled look on your face before you noticed him at the doorway.

 He wondered if it really was okay for him too. 

  “Science needs this.” Dustin clapped as he led Steve over to the kitchen. 

 The group had been split apart, by your demands, to help clean up the Byers house. Dustin had only taken one second to call out Steve as his partner when you asked for the disposal of the demodog. 

 Steve carried the monster to the fridge, watching as the younger boy cleared out its contents onto the floor. Sort of counteracting against the cleaning up you wanted them to do. With the final bit of food on the floor he turned around to finally face Steve. 

 “All right,” he said. “It should fit now.”

 “Is this really necessary?” Steve asked, feeling the monster's dead weight start to cramp up his arms a bit. 

 You were quick to rush over once you finally noticed the state of the kitchen. You held up your hands, stopping Steve from coming forward. “I told you two ten minutes ago to get rid of that thing in the backyard and you think to put it in the goddamn fridge? Look at this mess!”

 “It wasn’t my idea.” Steve tried to explain to you. “The kid wouldn’t let me leave the house.”

 “Hold on!” Dustin squeaked, while he shoved you away from the path. “Yes, this is necessary. This is a ground-breaking scientific discovery. We can’t just bury it like some common mammal, okay? It’s not a dog.”

 “But you literally call them demo-dogs!” you cried. Sensing another one of your guys’ regular back and forth arguments, Steve decided to just give in to what Dustin wanted as he stepped forward with the creature. 

 “All right, all right, all right.” He said quickly. Trying not to gag at the sight of the congealed drool that started to seep out from the creature’s mouth. “He’s gonna be the one to explain this to Mrs. Byers then.”

 There’s a struggle between the both of them trying to get the creature in the fridge and several moments Steve’s sure he’s gotten drool over him somewhere. But eventually it’s sealed in the fridge and Steve couldn’t help as he gave Dustin a small affectionate head rub before he turned back to glance at the mess.

 That’s when he caught sight of you quietly observing the two of them.

 “What are you smiling at?” He asked curiously.

 “What?” you laughed. Almost unaware that you had been caught in the act. You covered up a part of the smile with your hand. “Nothing.”

 He took a step closer, looking down at you carefully. “Nothing? You mean you weren’t amused watching the two of us struggle?” 

 “I wasn’t.” you said, still attempting to keep up this act of coyness. 

 He finds it odd how easily he could feel comfortable around you again. Not only did he just sort of break up with Nancy officially, but the two of you just shared a kiss not even two hours ago. Making this whole interaction be even more confusing. 

 Still, like a moth to a flame, he was being drawn in by you. 

 “Why do I feel like you’re lying?” he hummed, watching as you angled your head up towards him. It reminded him of how close you were to him outside and how much he’d like to feel that kiss again. Instinctively his hand reached out to cup at your face again. But just before he could feel the softness of your skin again, Dustin called out to him. Making the two of you step away from each other. 

 When he moved to wash his hands, he couldn’t help but turn back to watch you make a quiet leave. It wasn’t long into his hand washing that he heard the starting sounds of the kids arguing. Making him quickly clean off so that he could shut things down. 

 “Mike, would you just stop already?”

 “You weren’t in there, okay, Lucas? That lab is swarming with hundreds of those dogs.”

 “Demo-dogs!” Dustin called out from the kitchen.

 “The chief will take care of her.” Lucas tried, ignoring Dustin’s interruption.

 “Like she needs protection.” Max muttered. 

 “Listen, dude, a coach calls a play in a game, bottom line, you execute it. All right?” Steve chimed in, drying his hands in a dish towel. Mike merely looked at him with a frown on his face, something Steve was used to from being around the Wheelers for the past year. 

 “Okay, first of all, this isn’t some stupid sports game. And second, we’re not even in the game. We’re on the bench.”

 “Ri-, wel-, SO my point is..” 

 All eyes turned to focus on Steve and he found himself stammering to get to the original point he wanted to make. “Right, yeah, we’re on the bench, so, uh, there’s nothing we can do.” He thinks he’s managed to stump the kids enough. But he’s unfortunately working with a group of gifted kids who feed off crazy ideas to each other and soon enough they’re forming up a plan on their own. 

 Mike took the lead in ignoring Steve’s interjections and led the others around the house, showing the maps that had been drawn out by Will apparently as he explained the aspects of destroying the main hub. A plan that might have been useful if it didn’t involve the demodogs coming after them and their lack of arsenal and adults to help. 

 Down the hall he can see you observing them carefully. Making Steve wish you’d speak up and help round up these kids. But you’re listening to every word carefully, it would seem. But Steve wasn’t the only one who caught on to your quietness. 

 “You’re being uncharacteristically quiet.” Dustin said to you. “Do you think we should help El?”

 “Of course she does. That’s the only reason she hasn’t said anything, right?” Mike insisted. Steve glanced over at the boy’s expecting face and couldn’t help but mirror it to you. Surely, you of all people wouldn’t want to do something crazy like this. Especially not after everything that happened at the junkyard. 

“Way to put the focus on me, Dustin.” you muttered softly. 

 “Come on, trouble. I know you don’t want to face those monsters again.” Steve said, knowing you’d have a hard time telling these kids no. 

 “He’s right.” you sighed to everyone. “I don’t want to see those monsters again. I’m sort of worried that other parts of me will get scratched up if I do.”

 Steve felt a little bit of relief at your words. Finally someone that would listen to him tonight. But too soon is he adding his small victory, because as you got up for your spot on the wall, he noticed a look of determination on your face. 

 “But I really don’t want El to have to face those things by herself. She saved our asses last year and again tonight. The least we could do is help give her some relief.”

 You tried to get a look at him but Steve waved you off. Fed up with everyone in the house suddenly deciding to play the hero when all they were supposed to do was stay here and be safe. “This is not happening.” 

 “But–”

 “No, no, no, no, no.” He cut in, not caring how much it’d upset everyone else. If someone needed to be in charge, he’d take that role. Especially considering his babysitting partner was suddenly turning sides. “No buts. I promised I’d keep you shitheads safe, and that’s exactly what I plan on doing. We’re staying here. On the bench. And we’re waiting for the starting team to do their job. Does everybody understand?”

 “This isn’t a stupid sports game!”

 “I said, does everybody understand that?” Steve repeated, pointing over at Mike especially before looking at all the kids, and even you. “I need a yes.”

 The familiar sound of a car’s engine revving cut into the conversation. There’s instantly a reaction from you and Max before the two of you bolted over to the front window. Peeking out through the curtains. 

 “It’s my brother.” Max said, sounding a little afraid. “H-he can’t know I’m here. He’ll kill me. He’ll kill us.”

 Brother? Who the hell was her brother and why did he scare the one kid with the biggest attitude here? Taking a step, he peeked out from above your head to see that it’s Billy’s car. And suddenly, the image of Max storming away from his car on their first day here came into mind. 

 “I won’t let him.” he heard you reassure her. 

So this asshole was not only someone who bothered you, but Max too? Before Steve could even think about what he wanted to do, he was already making his way out the house. Closing up the front door softly as he looked down the driveway. 

 Billy slowly emerged from his car. A puff of smoke came out with him as he looked over to the house. An amused look on his face. “Am I dreaming, or is that you, Harrington?”

 “Yeah, it’s me. Don’t cream your pants.” 

 Despite the anger and annoyance he had towards Billy, there wouldn’t be any good in fighting with the guy right now. Not with how many kids were in the house. He knew to keep calm and approach this as casually as he could.  

 “What are you doing here, amigo?” Billy said as he strode over. 

 “I could ask you the same thing..amigo.”

 Billy looked over at him innocently. Lit cigarette hanging loosely at the edge of his lips. “Looking for my stepsister.” he said simply. “A little birdie told me she was here.”

 “Huh, that’s weird.” Steve replied nonchalantly. “I don’t know her.” he lied. 

 It was probably better off playing that Max wasn’t here at all rather than trying to place her at someplace else. But with Billy, Steve wasn’t sure how easily this guy could be tricked.

 “Small? Redhead? Bit of a bitch?”

 A small flush of anger went over him at Billy’s words. Max, while a bit heavy on her sarcasm and attitude, was just a kid. Why the hell did he have to talk about her like this to someone he didn’t even know? Even when you or Nancy complained about the other kids, it was never with such genuine dislike. 

 Speaking of you, it would appear you decided to throw yourself into the mix of things. 

 “Bit of a bitch? Must be talking about me.” you said easily coming into view. Though Steve did not want you anywhere near Billy, he still took a step back when he felt you push your way between them. 

 Billy’s interest grew even more when he realized it was you before him. “Babydoll, what the hell are you doing here?”

 “Well, in case you can’t tell, this is my friend’s house. I’m hanging out with him.”

 Billy’s eyes flickered over to Steve briefly. “And Harrington?”

“And Steve.”

 “I’m surprised. I figured after our little show the other day, he’d learn to back off.” The memory of Billy pushing into your personal space came into mind. Bringing back a tense anger when he remembered it wasn’t wanted from your end at all. 

 “Your little show didn’t mean shit to me.” Steve said coolly, not wanting to give Billy the satisfaction. 

 “Look, Steve’s here because he’s finally caught up with his girlfriend.” You waved off, trying to sound like the night was another typical weekend. But that only made Steve more anxious with where you were leading the conversation to. “So what are you doing here? I’m sure you didn’t come to hang out with everyone.”

 “I’m here because Max decided to run away again. Neil sent me to drag her in.” 

 There wasn’t much need for a clue as to who this Neil guy was, it was presumably their Father. But that didn’t mean Steve didn’t catch your subtle reaction to it before your composure came back up. 

 “Max ran away again? She’s getting better.” 

 Jesus, Max. Again? What kinda running streak do you have? He thought. 

 “Yeah, and because of that bitch, my plans for tonight are tanked.” he huffed. “So, have you seen her?”

 From the corner of his eye, Steve easily saw how the way Billy talked about Max was upsetting you too. And while you were able to keep up a front to Billy, he could see the slight tick it brought in your jaw. Why were you even bothering with this guy?

 “I haven’t.” you shrugged, glancing over at him. “But,” you continued, looking back to the other boy. “I can help you find her if you’re up for it.”

 “Really?” Billy asked, a little surprised. “Suddenly you’re up for spending the night helping me?”

 For some reason, you attempted to sway Billy into believing your words with a little trick of seduction. Something Steve would think was hot any other time if it weren’t to the biggest asshole in town. Billy seemed to easily fall for it as he licked over his lips slowly. 

 “That’s exactly what I’m up for.” you smiled, blowing out some smoke.  “Besides, Max will be more willing to go home if I’m helping you find her. We can catch up along the way.”

 “Let’s go then.”

Suddenly Billy is pulling you away from Steve’s side and everything from this past week came into Steve’s mind. 

 "..Billy. I am NOT your girlfriend. You’re an egotistical man-whore who needs a god damn reality check! Leave me the hell alone!" “..Yeah, well, Billy likes to take whatever he wants. Regardless if the other person is willing.”

"..when I was with Billy, I felt like I was a part of a role. That I was someone special because I was dating the most wanted guy at school. None of my friends even cared about things like that. So why did I?”

“..I just want someone who actually likes me for once.”

 Without another wasted second hesitating, Steve reached out for your hand. Stopping you from following after Billy. Quickly, he pulled you out from the other boy’s grip and brought you close enough so that he could stand in front of you. Blocking you from Billy. 

 “What the hell is going on, Henderson? Are we leaving or what?” Billy asked. Though his tone wasn’t angry, there was a glint in Billy’s eyes that let Steve know he had struck some sort of nerve. 

 “You don’t need to go with him. You can stay here.” he said back to you. 

 He can’t fully see your reaction, but there’s the small warmth of your hand on his back that meant you were still with him. “Steve, come on, I can get him out here.” In a way Steve knew you were right. Hell, it’d probably make so many things easier for him if it meant getting this asshole out of here. 

 But he wasn’t going to let you endure the night of Billy and his unhinged antics just because he couldn’t get the hint. “And let you deal with him again? D’ya think I’m gonna be able to stomach that, huh?” he asked worriedly. “The second you leave with him, I’m gonna go crazy. I can’t let you put yourself through anything with him.”

 He doesn’t have time to focus on the stunned look on your face. Billy is already clearing his throat to get the attention back onto him. 

 “I’m not gonna play into whatever weird shit this is. So have you seen the bitch or what, Harrington?”

 “Look, it doesn’t ring a bell for me and trouble here hasn’t seen her either. Sorry, buddy.”

 Something clicked with Billy suddenly, making him wave his hand up in the air angrily. The hand on his back moved to his arm and Steve felt as you held onto him nervously now. 

 “You know,” he sighed.  “I don’t know, this..this whole situation, Harrington, I don’t know.” He looked behind Steve to where you were briefly. “It’s giving me the heebie-jeebies.”

Something was definitely up and Steve could feel the tension between the three of you rise up. Making the hair on his arms stand up. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Steve asked calmly. 

 Billy got close enough to the two of you that he felt his body angle away from the boy, only to still have his face close enough that he’s able to smell the heavy cologne that Billy bathed himself in. 

 “My thirteen-year old sister goes missing all day, you won’t let little babydoll here come with me, and then, I find them here with you, in a stranger’s house. And you lie to me about it.”

 Steve tried to laugh off his accusation, hoping to sound as casual about this whole thing that Billy would get bored. “Man, were you dropped too much as a child, or what?” Steve scoffed, fighting to keep the calmness in his voice as well as keep up a strong enough front that wouldn’t let Billy think he was afraid of him. “I don’t know what you don’t understand about what I just said. She’s not here.”

 “Then who is that?” he asked, pointing to the house.

 A glance over to the windows of the house and Steve winced at the sight of the kids lamely ducking away from the gaze of Billy from the driveway. Son of a bitch..

 “Shit.” you hissed. 

  “Listen,” Steve started, trying to think of a way he could ease up the situation. But before he could finish his sentence was sent flying back with a single shove from Billy. You thankfully don't stick around and quickly made a run towards the house to the kids. Hopefully getting them the hell out of there. 

 “I told you to plant your feet.” Billy reminded Steve before he shoved down hard on Steve’s chest with the bottom of his foot. 

 Though the air isn’t completely knocked out of his lungs, Steve still felt the impact send a pain over his body. Making it hard for him to gain back his breath and get off the floor. It’s not until the sound of all of you screaming inside the house that Steve shook off the pain to dash in. 

 He rushed in to find Dustin and Mike attempting to keep you up. There was  a bit of blood coming from the side of your head and Steve couldn't help himself as he reached out to cup at your cheek. Noting how hurt you look. It has him seeing red. “Hold onto her, guys.” he said quickly before striding into the kitchen.

 Billy has gone as far as to hold up Lucas against one of the china cabinets. Tussling the kid against the wood as he muttered threats over to him. The boy doesn’t allow this to happen long enough as he yelled for Billy to get off of him before kneeing him in the groin. 

 The blonde staggered back, hands on his knees as he quickly gained back his composure. “So dead, Sinclair! You’re dead!”

 Reaching out, Steve grabbed Billy by the arm, pushing him back before he wound up his fist. 

 “No, you are.” And with that, the inevitable fight began. 

 All around were different voices reacting to the two of them. While Steve tried to focus on keeping up his guard to Billy, the sight of the boy’s bloody mouth spewing out in laughter threw him off a bit.  

 “Looks like you got some fire in you after all, huh?” he yelled out. “I’ve been waiting to meet this King Steve everybody’s been telling me so much about.”

 “Get out.” He ordered, not falling for Billy’s taunting antics. But all that did was trigger Billy to begin his own assault of punches. But Steve’s still quick, and he managed to dodge them while he returned the hit. 

 Still, every hit is met with a bloody grin, or laugh. And though Steve had him pressed against the kitchen sink it’s Billy who would have the upper hand once he reached over to smash a plate against the side of his head. 

 The sting of the glass breaking against his skull is bad. And he can’t get his vision to focus on the room, giving Billy the chance to send him flying back against the built in bookcase. Around him the kids are scrambling around, trying to keep you and themselves away from the fight. 

 He’s backed up into the living room. Struggling to keep his eyes open as much as pick himself up. Billy easily grabbed hold of his arms, pulling him close enough that he could give Steve one more annoying quip. “No one tells me what to do.” 

 With a punch to his stomach, Steve was sent flying back to the floor. Scooting across the papers until he’s curled up on his side. In the midst of it all he can hear you yell out for Billy to leave him alone. 

 “I’m gonna beat the shit out of your little boyfriend!” he yelled back at you. “See if you still like him then!”

 And as if he promised then and there, Billy proceeded to beat the shit out of Steve. Throwing punch after punch until Steve couldn’t keep up anymore. The darkness faded in and all he could hear was the sound of you and the kids yelling out for Billy to stop. 

 “Steve?” said a familiar soft voice.

 “Is he up yet or not?” asked another voice. He knew that one too. The feeling of lips pressed gently against his suddenly woke him up. 

 Sitting up, Steve was met with the sight of you at his side. You’re in your devil costume from the other night, and you’re smiling down at him. “There he is.” you cooed, leaning in to brush his hair away from his face. “He’s awake now.”

 Nancy popped over your shoulder, looking down at Steve curiously before she too smiled. “I thought he’d never get up.” Glancing over, Steve noticed she was in her stained costume from the other night. 

 “Give him a break, he probably has a concussion right now.” you chided, moving to rest your hand lightly on his chest. “Guy took a hit for me.”

 “Did he deserve it this time?” Nancy asked as she stepped away from the bed. “Can’t say he hasn’t before.”

 “No!” You said throwing a frown over at the girl before peering your gaze below again. “You did great, your highness. Real heroic shit.” 

 “He lost.” chuckled Nancy. “Heroes don’t lose.”

 “Well that’s because Billy cheated.”

 “With what a brick?”

 “No, kitchen plate actually.”

 Nancy tutted at that before moving to sit at Steve’s other side. Finally the boy had the chance to realize that he was in fact dreaming suddenly. “What’s going on?” he coughed out, struggling to clear up his throat.

 “Nothing’s going on.” you answered him. “We were just waiting for you to wake up so you could pick which one of us you like.” 

 “Yeah, we were actually curious about your answer.” Nancy smirked curling her legs to shuffle closer to his side. “I’ve been thinking about it and I think if you wait until the mess with the demogorgons is done, you might be able to fight for me.”

 “And I’ve been thinking that after spending the day with me you might be able to get me. Especially with how hot you looked sticking up for the kids and all that.” you said kneeling beside him. 

 “That does sound kinda hot.” Nancy chimed in. “Do you remember how he looked fighting that demogorgon in Jonathan’s house?”

 “Yes!” you gasped. “When he did that little bat swing? So hot!” 

 The two of you start to giggle playfully and Steve can’t help but feel confused. Sitting up now so that he could look between the two of you. “Have I gone crazy? We’re supposed to be getting rid of the mind flayer.”

 “We are.” Nancy nodded.

 “And you and I are supposed to keep the kids safe..we’re fighting Billy right now!”

 “Well, some of us are fighting Billy. You’re actually out cold.” you pouted, reaching over to pinch at his cheek. “Quite unfortunate, they could really use your help right now.” 

 “Then we have to go!” Steve urged, pushing the two of you out of the bed. You both moved to stand in the middle of his room, looking at him oddly while he struggled to stand up. “What are you two just standing there for, we need to leave!” he urged. 

 “We already told you Steve. We’re only here because we wanna know which one of us you’re picking.” Nancy reminded him. 

 “Yeah, we deserve to know.” you nodded. Steve shook his head, wondering just what the hell was going on in his head to have you two acting like this. 

 “That’s not important right now,” he said simply. “The kids need me.”

 “And what about us?” Nancy pouted, stepping forward to cup at his cheek. ��Don’t you think we need you too? Don’t you want me Steve? Don’t you love me Steve?”

 Steve felt his jaw slacked at the sight of his mind’s version of Nancy begging for him. It’s been so long since he’s ever heard that kind of sincerity from her and it’s pathetic that the only time he’d get it was right now. 

 “What about me?” you cut in, moving to snake your hands around his neck. “I see you when no one else does.” you said softly. “I make you feel every emotion..not just heartbreak.”

 Nancy frowned over at you, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’ve only broken his heart once. Wasn’t it you who humiliated him in front of the school?”

 “Just our lunch period.”

 “Don’t forget gym class.”

“Shit.” 

 Shaking his head, Steve pulled your arms off him. Looking over at the two of you with a glare. “This isn’t the time for any of that. Dustin and the others..they need me. You need me.” A small frown flickered over your face at that before you suddenly looked over at him carefully. 

 “He sure is whiney isn’t he?” you spat, recoiling away from his side. Nancy slowly turned the same, shaking her head disappointedly at Steve as she did the same.

 “He is. That’s probably why I’ve moved on from him. Jonathan is totally more put together.” 

 “Isn’t he? He’s just the best friend a girl can have.” you grinned, not even noticing that Steve’s face crumbled. “We should go and hang out with him! He’ll at least be better than this bozo.”

 Nancy linked her arms with yours, giving you a wink before she led the two of you towards the bedroom door, pushing Steve aside so that you guys could leave. Steve sputtered out, unsure what kind of bizarre nightmare he fell into. Following you guys out, he called out to the both of you. Calling each name.

 It was only you who looked back, giving him a small smile before fading out into the darkness of the night. Steve tried to follow but no matter how hard he tried to move, tried to call out, he was met with nothing. 

 Nothing until he felt a sudden cold press to his forehead. 

 The walls of the room began to melt and the pain in his face began to grow stronger. An almost blinding pain burst over his nose, eyes, and head. He found himself crumpling backwards into a sitting position and the space around him getting smaller and smaller.

 His eyes blinked hard and he found that he was having a harder time getting them open. But when he did, he found himself looking at a distorted face. It looked familiar. “Nancy?” he asked, not sure if it was the actual girl or his dream again. 

 His vision focused and he’s suddenly looking at a disturbed Mike. His hand reached up to brush away some of the crust that’s blurring his vision but is quickly stopped by another hand.. 

 “No, don’t touch it.” said the voice gently.

 Turning to his right, he noticed Dustin as the mysterious other hand. “Hey buddy,” he said, shushing him. “ It’s okay. You put up a good fight. He kicked your ass, but you put up a fight. You’re okay.”

 He’s reminded of his dream and being woken up by the other pair of Wheeler and Henderson duo and can’t help but wince away from the kid. Groaning a bit, he tried not to focus on the pain in his face and attempted to get up from his cramped seat. 

 “Dustin, you better calm him down.” He heard you warn from somewhere before him. The sound of a loud engine began to perk up in his ears and peeked his eyes open again to see Lucas sitting in your lap, reading a map in his hands with a flashlight. 

 “Okay, you’re gonna keep straight for a half a mile, then make a left on Mount Sinai.” Lucas instructed to his left. Glancing in that direction, he found Max sitting in what looked like a driver’s seat..but that couldn’t be right. 

 “What’s going on?” Steve called out as his body began to fill up with panic. Max looked over her shoulder, meeting Steve’s eyes with wide worried ones of her own. 

 “Eyes on the road, Red.” you instructed Max. Why the hell were you instructing the girl to do anything was beyond Steve, but he couldn’t even see your face properly. Let alone figure out why you weren’t driving. 

 You’re. Not. Driving. He thought. 

 “Oh my God!” Steve cried out squirming out from his spot. He had to put a stop to this. He had to get out of this damn car. NOW.

 “Just relax.” Dustin tried. “She’s driven before.”

 “Yeah, in a parking lot with your cousin!” Mike added, sounding annoyed.

 “That counts!” Dustin countered before looking back to Steve. “They were gonna leave you behind.”

 “Oh, my God.”

 “I promised that you’d be cool, okay?”

 The speed picked up in the car and Steve felt the entire thing move at a speed that’s dangerously too high .“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s going on?!” he called out, ignoring Dustin. But the girl in front ignored Steve’s plea and suddenly pressed down on the gas even harder.

 “SHIT MAX, SLOW DOWN!” you gasped, confirming Steve’s worry. 

  “Oh, my GOD. No! Whoa! Stop the car. Slow down.” He thought he might get sick but he’s not even sure he’ll even have the chance to vomit with how fast everything was moving.

“I told you he’d freak out!” Mike yelled out to the others.

 “STOP THE CAR!”

 “Everybody shut up! I’m trying to focus!” Max said to the others, sounding just as scared as Steve felt right now. Lucas beside her started to squeak, pointing over to the map. 

 “Oh, wait, that’s Mount Sinai! Make a left!”

 “What?”

 “MAKE A LEFT!”

 The car roughly turned left, crashing into a mailbox of some house. The entire group in the car screamed out in a panic. Steve reached out for Dustin, holding onto the boy’s body while the car continued to turn roughly towards its destination. 

 Just what the hell did he wake up to?

By some miracle the car arrived safely to the field they had been discussing before. And while Steve was upset at the fact that they were even there in the first place, he was more than happy for the car to come to its abrupt stop. 

 One by one the rest of you piled out. Steve was barely able to hold onto the car door as the others moved to grab items from the trunk of the car. His head was still in so much pain, but thankfully he found that his vision was coming back to normal finally. 

 Just in time to watch as the kids continued on with their plans without him. 

 “Hey, where do you think you’re going?” he called out to Mike. Watching as he moved to the front of the car. “What are you deaf?! HELLO?”

 Next was Max, ignoring Steve as she followed to where Mike was squatting. “We are NOT going down there right now. I made myself clear!” There’s more silence and he’s painfully aware of how much he’s losing this battle right now.  “Hey, there’s no CHANCE we’re going to that hole, all right?”

 Lucas didn’t even give him the pleasure of walking past him as he went the farthest path to the others and avoided Steve completely. Having enough, he rushed over to where you two were and snatched the materials out of Dustin’s hands. 

 “THIS ENDS RIGHT NOW!”

“Steve!” Dustin yelled. “You’re upset, I get it. But the bottom line is, a party member requires assistance, and it is our duty to provide that assistance.”

 Beside him you’re sympathetically laying a hand on his shoulder. Nodding your head in agreement before you shot Steve a small shrug. 

 “Now, I know you promised Nance that you would keep us safe.” he said, reaching down for his bat and backpack “So, keep us safe.”

 Steve shook his head and looked down at the items before him. Wondering just how the hell this night was turning from helping get rid of a pest in Dustin’s shed to helping keep some girl with powers safe from the demodogs.

 Glancing towards you, he raised a brow, wondering what your speech would be like. But all you do is look at him with your worried eyes and quietly plead with him. “Please?” you asked softly. 

 A warmth spread into his chest and he begrudgingly reached out for the materials. Sighing in defeat. That brought out a pleased grin on Dustin’s face and he walked off, mask ready as he joined the other three waiting by the front of the car. 

 You stayed behind. He wasn’t sure what you’d do next, but when you reached out to cup at his sore cheek, he was more than happy to accept the kind touch. Placing his hand on yours to bask in the softness. That is, until he noticed the bruise on your eye.

 “Your eye..” He gasped. It was dark and swollen. When the hell did Billy get his hands on you and how the hell can he kill him for leaving a mark on you?

 “It’ll heal.” 

  “I’m so sorry. I never wanted you to get hurt. I-”

 The words were cut off when you leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek. Bringing his mind back to the comforts of how he felt in the backyard again.  “It’s okay. Let’s go tough guy.” you reassured him before walking away. 

 He doesn’t think he’ll ever react normally to that. 

 Eventually they explained well enough just what they were going to do next, and while he wished he could convince everyone to leave. He knows that’s useless. He’s in on this shit as much as you guys now.

 But now he’s managed to at least fight his way to leading the group and making sure they get to the hub safely and quickly as possible. Hopefully with no run-ins with any monsters or crazy brothers.

The stench of gasoline is heavy on Steve’s nose. Even with the heavy handkerchief around his face, he’s still struggling to breath in any clear air. But with the amount of upside down seeping in through the tunnels, he’d risk the dangers of smelling in so much gas than to breath whatever vapors were in this place. 

 “Alright, you guys ready?” Steve asked when he came over to your side. The spot had a perfect view of the hub. Reaching inside his pocket, he pulled out the lighter he had been carrying around today. 

 “Light her up.” Dustin ordered behind him. 

 He hesitantly looked around for just one moment. This whole place is about to light up and he’s sure that something bad will follow it next.  “I’m in such deep shit.” 

 With that, he leaned back his arm and threw the lighter into the dark depths of the hub. Instantly, the ground caught fire and the place began to light up all around them. There was a startling screeching noise that began to cry out as the hive mind reacted to the sudden attack. 

 “Uh, guys? The fire is getting pretty big!” you warned, getting up from the floor. Everyone else followed quickly after that, trying to get out of the place now that the smoke was beginning to catch up. 

 Steve continued to take the lead in getting everyone else out, barking out directions on which way to go. He thought that they were having a pretty good pace when you’re suddenly screaming out his name. It nearly tripped him up but he turned around and dashed over towards you before realizing it was Mike you were screaming his name for. 

 Smashing at the vine that had tangled itself around Mike’s leg, he kept up with his attack until the rest of you were able to pull him up from the floor. That’s when he heard the growling. 

 Behind Dustin was a single lone demodog. Sneaking its way towards the group. From the side, he could tell how tense you had become. Calling out to your cousin and trying to reach out for him. But Dustin simply pushed you away, insisting that it was Dart. 

 How he could tell was beyond Steve, but if you kept up with your nervous calling, you’d definitely anger the thing a lot more than Dustin’s sweet talk would. 

 “Dustin..” you tried, attempting to step forward. Steve quickly wrapped a hand around your good arm, keeping you in place. 

 “If you go after him, it’ll react.” he whispered to you, trying to warn you of the severity. But even with the warning and Dustin’s words, the beast still flared open its mouth to the boy. Making Steve’s heart drop. He thinks the kid is crazy for trying to reason with the creature, but he’s not about to mess up the chance of it working by letting any of you big mouths ruin it. 

 “He’s insane!” Lucas whispered.

 “Don’t.” Mike warned, trying to shush the others as well.

 “Shut up!” Steve hissed. “And stop pinching me!” he said to you, moving his hand up higher from your sharp attack. But you only squirmed even more.

 “He’s literally giving the damn thing food!”

 “SHH.”

 It’s eventually food that finally won them the safe passage. Dustin pulled the candy out from his own bag as he offered the sweets to the creature. Once he noticed that the demodog was fully distracted, he signaled for the others to go ahead. 

 “Eat up, buddy. Come on. Come on.”

 One by one the rest of you move past the two. Steve didn’t even give you the chance to plead with him as he practically dragged you away. From the distance, he watched as Dustin rose up from the ground, giving one last glance to his friend before leaving. 

 “Goodbye, buddy.”

 While Steve wished he could comfort his friend, the sounds of more demodogs in the distance was enough for him to push back feelings. 

 “They’re coming.” Mike called out, shining a light towards the tunnels. “RUN! RUN!”

 Sounds of snarls and roars were surrounding the walls of the tunnels. With every step on the unleveled ground, Steve thought that this was when all would fail. But he couldn’t give up, not when he had the kids so close to their freedom. 

 “Over here!” he yelled, when he saw the loose bit of rope dangling from the top of the roof. 

 He yelled for the others to hurry, waving them down to meet at his side. When you were close enough, he grabbed onto your body, lifting you up from the ground high enough that you could latch onto the rope. When he saw that you were sturdy enough to climb up, he reached out for the next person. 

 You were quick to help out on the other side, reaching for each kid’s arm and pulling them up with a small grunt. It isn’t until he’s about to reach over for Dustin and send him up to you that he heard something in the distance. 

 “Come on, guys! Climb up!” you yelled from above. 

 But the sounds of heavy footsteps coming closer, made him think they might just be too late. All of you called out to the two of them, reaching your hands out towards them while Steve got into a defensive position. 

 “Oh shit.” Steve hissed, pushing Dustin to get behind him.  There was no telling how many he’d actually be able to fight off. He didn’t want to think about that. All he wanted to do was focus on making every hit count. 

 Around the corner, a herd of demodogs finally made their appearance. Charging over towards the two at such a speed that would surely knock them down. And when Steve was just about to swing, they suddenly ran right past them. 

 The creature simply avoided their roadblock and dashed around them. Going roughly towards some source while pushing Steve closer to Dustin. The boy stumbled a bit into his arms and he simply held onto him as the rest of the herd went by. 

 Steve’s so lost in the confusion of not having to fight that he jumped at the sudden urgency in your voice. 

 “MOVE YOUR ASSES!”

 Quickly, he helped lift Dustin up to the rope. Waiting until he was safely pulled in by you before making the climb himself. With every tug, he felt like his lungs were on fire, but eventually he’s on the ground again and the cold crisp air is burning through his nose. 

 Suddenly, he’s engulfed in a tight hug from you. Making him sway a bit before he’s able to balance himself. Your arms are around his neck and he can feel the warmth of your breath against his ear. 

 “You were going to fight them.” you said to him. “You stupid, stupid, stupid, idiot. You were gonna take them all on.”

 Your words threw him off for a moment, making him worried he might have made you that upset again. But from the way you kept your arms around him, he understood that they were from a different place now. 

 He basked in the moment, allowing himself the small pleasure of soaking your comfort in before he spoke up finally. “Yeah, I know,” he chuckled. “I had to.”

From the corner of his eyes, he can see Mike awkwardly cut the moment short with a cough, Giving him a weird look that had Steve breaking up the moment. Together, the rest of you made it over to the car. Just in time to catch as the lights began to change. 

 Everyone watched in awe as it turned from blinking to a steady beam. Eventually turning brighter and brighter until all of you had to cover your eyes. But just as fast as it began to shine, it suddenly died down. Going back to its regular glow. 

  “What was that?” Max asked

  “It was Eleven.” Mike replied to her. “She did it.”

 “Come on.” Steve said quickly. “The others are probably wondering where the hell we are.” he said, pointing to the car with his thumb. “Let’s get going.”

 The tired kids groaned out to him but you for once nodded along to his plea. “You heard your Mother, kids.” Without looking back, you led all the kids towards the car, making Steve happy to be heading away from danger. It wasn’t until he was about to open the car door that he realized your joke.

 “Hey! Why the hell am I the Mom?” he frowned over at you. 

 “Because you nag at us like a Mother.” Max chuckled as she climbed in to sit on your lap. Steve grumbled to himself, mimicking Max’s ridiculous reply as he got into the driver’s seat. 

 “I’m the man.” he mumbled, turning on the engine to the car. From the seat over, he could hear the sound of your giggling, making him only slightly less annoyed. 

 “Whatever you say, your highness. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

 Finally a plan he could agree on.

 Steve couldn’t help but contemplate what would happen the next day as he drove over towards Max’s house. 

 The group had come together to form up ideas and alibis for tonight after everyone returned to the Byers’ house. And while Steve was ready to pass out for the rest of the month, he still had one more task for the night. Taking you home.

 But even with that simple thing left to do. He couldn’t help but worry about what was going to happen next. 

 Things with you were definitely different now. There was no way he could go back to having you hate him again, and he’s sure after all the conversations, the kiss, and even the fight, that you felt the same way. 

 The light turned red again as he approached the intersection. Giving him another minute of lagging behind you to think about what he wanted to say. 

 But what did he want? Not even in his dreams could he figure out what it was that he truly wanted. 

 Up until tonight, Nancy was the girl of his dreams. The girl he loved. But how could he be in love with someone who felt like they were pretending to be in love? How could he hold onto a dream of a relationship that was so easily forgotten in a quest to find out answers for her friend?

 How could she look at Jonathan the way she did and not even spare a glance to Steve?

 And on top of that turmoil of thoughts towards Nancy. He couldn't help but feel guilty that in all his mess, you were still there. Waiting for someone to finally like you for you once, and all Steve could give you were the broken pieces of his heart. 

 Down the line of the road, he could make out the muffled sounds of you arguing with the person in front of you. Not even waiting, Steve pressed down on the car horn, putting a stop to that interaction before he made an exit from the car. 

 Billy stepped back when Steve approached you, making sure you were behind him again in case the jerk tried to do anything again. “God, you just won’t quit.” he scoffed, unable to comprehend where Billy got the nerve from. 

 For a moment, it looked like Billy was going to react to his words. But he didn’t. Instead, he backed off, holding his hands up as he stepped away from you two. 

 “Have fun with my leftovers, Harrington.” he said, moving towards his house, only looking back one more time to glance at you. “Remember what I said, babydoll. Remember.”

 While Steve is curious as to what the hell that was all about, he ignored the inquiry in order to check on you. Noting the look of distress still evident on your face. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, pulling you into his arms in hopes of warming you up. 

 He wanted to think you’d speak up and snap back to your usual self. But even you need a moment to gain back your strength it would seem. 

“Can we just leave? I want to go home.” you whimpered.. “I just want to go home.”

 The sadness in your voice tugged heavy on Steve’s heart and he quickly leaned in towards you. “Yeah, honey.” he sighed, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Let’s get you home.”

  The drive over to your house is quiet. 

 There wasn’t much Steve could say to change how you felt at the moment. And he understood it was coming from having to deal with Billy again so soon after everything. This whole night, actually, this whole week, Billy has done nothing but make your life hell. And the one time Steve could have protected you from it, he failed.

 The guilt felt overwhelming. He wasn’t sure just what he could say to make it up to yo–

 “I’m sorry,” you blurted out suddenly. “I feel like I’ve been the reason you’ve been getting hurt all day.”

 He can’t help but be a little bit amused by your words. Not even sure how the universe would have it that you felt the same way. “It’s funny, I was gonna say the same thing.”

 “Steve, all you’ve done tonight is stick up for me. For all of us..you’re the only reason why everyone is safe.”

 Safe. He thought. How could you think he kept any of you safe when you got hurt? Have you even seen your eye yet?  “If I had fought better..”

 “He hit you with a glass plate. I don’t think that’s necessarily skill.”

 “If I had fought better,” he repeated. “You wouldn’t have had to come in and help me.” He reached out to cup at the side of your face. Hating the sight of his failure shown on your pretty face. “This shouldn’t have happened to you.”

 “Then put the blame on the asshole that did it. Not yourself.”

 There was something about the way you wouldn’t let Steve feel so low about what happened tonight that had him feeling something. How could you care to make him feel better? Even earlier in the night, when you got mad at Nancy. It was for his sake then too. He didn’t deserve them and he definitely didn’t deserve it now. Right? 

 So why didn’t he push that notion onto you. Why was he allowing this selfish part of him to bask in the way you were trying to cheer him up? His eyes slipped close as he let out a small tired chuckle. “You aren’t going to let me win this are you?”

 “Nope.”you smiled. “And you better get used to it for the future. Because I’m pretty good at always being right.”

 “Future?” He asked, surprised he’d even get tomorrow with you. “So there’s a future between the two of us?”

 “Do you.. maybe like the sound of that?” 

 How the hell could he not? A future with you, any kind, was worth getting beat up for. But there was still something he needed to know more of. Something that’s been on the back of his mind since it’s happened.  “That depends.” He said finally. 

  “On what?” 

  “If your feelings have changed since we kissed.”

 You turned shy at the question. As if you weren’t prepared at all for Steve to bring that up. He should see that as a different kind of sign, but he ignored it. He didn’t want to listen to the logic in his head. He wanted to pull you in closer and enjoy the moment with you.

 “I haven’t stopped thinking about that kiss.” He admitted. 

 “I just forced myself on you. It wasn’t right to kiss you like that.” You said honestly. “But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it was on the back of my mind.”

He couldn't of any other moment where he wanted someone to kiss him this badly. All he knew was at this moment, he'd give anything to feel your lips against his his again. If you'd allow him to. "Then how should you have kissed me?” he asked carefully.

You looked back at him and he found that he’s focused so intently on you that nothing else seemed to matter. Nothing but the sound of your breathing and the beat of his heart. Slowly, you reached your hands up from your lap to crawl on the front of his chest. 

 “I would have given you time to notice what I’m doing by moving my hands here.”

 The tip of your nails scratched at the nape of his neck, making Steve’s body flush in an instant heat. “And then?” he shuddered, needing more. 

 “I would have leaned in close,” you said, angling your head to his. The tip of his nose brushed against yours and your lips hovered just beside his. “Like this.” 

 “And t-then?”

“I’d ask you to kiss me.”

 This is the part where he should stop. Where he should let you go and remind himself that there’s another whole mess of emotions that he has to deal with beside the horny one that was starting to stir up inside him. But the longer he looked into your eyes, the more he realized that he didn’t want to think about what he should do and instead chose what he wanted to do. 

 “So ask it.” He insisted, “Ask me now.”

  “Kiss me?” 

 That was all he needed to hear before he took his chance to crash his lips onto yours. The pain and soreness of his face was ignored easily when he tasted the subtle taste of you on your lips. Bringing back to multiple memories. The kiss on your doorstep, the kiss from tonight, even the kiss to his cheek. 

 One simple touch to you has him addicted and he found that he needed all you now or else he thinks he might explode. The desire that’s been building up between the two of you for the past day was far too much to handle and he’s selfishly taking the chance to give you all of him. Even if all of him was just a shell of a man you once knew.

 Things heat up quickly and the two of you are together on his seat. He can take in the sight of your beauty even better. 

 Lips changing kisses from simple peck into heavy panting open mouth kisses that have the air leaving Steve’s brain. 

 He never planned for things to get this far. Hell, he never dreamed that he’d ever get this far with you. But eventually you’re allowing him to touch your body. Explore the places that he’s never known he needed to touch until right now. 

 But you want him to. You need him.  With the way your breath had gotten heavier and the frantic way you pushed his hand into your pants, he can feel how you need him. And he’s more than happy to give in to you. Using the pad of his thumb to swirl over the sensitive bud of your pussy until you’re crying out in pleasure. 

 You fall over him as you curl into your orgasm. He can’t help but find it all too beautiful. The soft moans coming from you as you come down your high. “You make the prettiest sounds.” he commented absentmindedly. 

 Taking the chance to calm down, you reached between the two of you to take him in your hands. Giving his aching cock the attention it’s been dying for since you sprung it free from the confines of his jeans. 

 Instantly he’s moaning at your touch. Either he’s too sensitive right now, or something about your touch has him getting closer to his orgasm that he wanted. That and the musky scent of your pussy is driving him crazy. He wished for a better place to fully taste you, but there wasn’t time for that right now. Because he had only one plan next. To feel every part of you.

 So with your help he slowly eased the head of his cock into your pussy. Just like your touch, your pussy wrapped around him in such a way he’s taken back to how it felt like to first kiss you. How was everything about you this intense? How was he supposed to wake up tomorrow without this feeling again?

 Leaning up, he pressed kisses against your neck, watching as the light affection helped you as you adjusted to the size of him inside you. “You’re so tight.” he gritted, using his hands to grip at your hips so that he could fully push inside you. “God, you’re so tight.”

 There’s a beat of silence, and he waited until you were calm again before he reached out to you. “Are you still with me?” he asked softly, not quite ready to hear if you suddenly changed your mind. But you look back at him, smile on your face as you nod your head.

 “I’m with you.”

 That’s all he needed to hear before he was back to kissing you. Distracting you with the taste of his lips while began to thrust up into you. It hasn’t been long since he’s last had sex. But it’s been long since he’s felt this new and electric. The feeling of your body wrapped closely to his, the hot breaths from your mouth fanning his skin, and the moans falling past your lips. All so new and exhilarating to Steve. 

 He doesn’t think he’ll ever get it like this again. 

 “Fuck, Baby. You’re taking me so good. So damn good.” he groaned, needing to praise you. “Taking all of me.”

 Your hips rolled to the praise. As if you needed the encouragement to drive even harder towards your orgasm. The sensation shivered over Steve and he thrusted harder towards you, hearing the sounds of your slick slapping against his cock with every thrust met to your pussy. 

 “Fuck, Steve. I’m so close.” you whimpered.

 “Me too, honey. Fuck, keep doing that.”

 Your hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to you and giving him just the right angle to hit up into your core that he could feel just about all of you. He has to bite down your shoulder to keep himself from letting go just yet. Not when he can feel you’re close. 

 Using his thumb, he began to rub at your clit again. Feeling the way it made your body tightened on top of him. The walls of your pussy gripped tightly against Steve’s cock. Making each and every thrust tug just the right way on him. You let out a loud moan, throwing your head back in pleasure as you finally let go around him. 

 Steve wasn’t long to follow after you, feeling the way his cock shot out his cum into your body. Each thrust after was chasing the remnants of his orgasm and he chanted out your name. Almost like a thank you prayer while he started to come down from his high. 

 The car’s movements came to a stop and Steve carefully reached between you to pull himself out so that you could rest easily on top of him. The sight of you cuddling into his chest does something to him and he finds he’s soothing you down. Making sure your body relaxes against him from the small workout. 

 “You’re bullshit.” said a voice in his head. 

 He tried to ignore the voice in his head. Squeezing his eyes shut to focus on your content hums. But again the voice spoke up. Almost yelling at him.

 “YOU’RE BULLSHIT.”

 Like cold water to the face, Steve slowly began to realize what he had done. 

 How the hell could he do this to you? He was just aching and pinning for Nancy this whole week and all of a sudden he’s sleeping with you? As if you were some rebound that was supposed to cheer him up? 

 Yes, the signs were there from you. He knows you wanted this too but did you deserve this? To be the girl he gave himself too all because Nancy didn’t pick him? Did he even want that? Why would he push for you to ask him to kiss you? He shouldn’t be kissing anyone let alone fucking them in their driveway.

 Fuck, you were just talking about a future of a sort with him. Would you want anything with him now that you realized he had slept with you while still in love with someone else?

 “I can’t believe we just did that..” you said softly, shyly looking up at him.

 God he’s in such deep shit. 

 “Steve? Are you oka-”

 “We shouldn’t have done this,” he interrupted, not able to hear your concern for him anymore. 

  “..What?”

Carefully, he sat up in his seat. Pushing you back a bit so that you were able to sit up on your own. “I shouldn’t have done this..especially to you.” he clarified.

 “I don’t..I don’t understand..you didn’t want this?” 

 The pain in your voice has his heart breaking even more tonight. There was nothing he could do to fix this. He literally felt like everything around him was falling apart but he couldn’t stop it. He can’t change it. 

 You quickly remove yourself from sitting on his lap. Getting back in your seat to get dressed again. Steve pushed himself back into his jeans. Disgusted with the sight of his pleasure still coated on the front of his pants while he buttoned up. 

 “I’m sorry. I’m just..I’m not good right now.”

 “So you just use me-”

 “I’m not using you. Please,” he pleaded, fearing that he’s done the worst again. The look on your face is the worst thing he’s seen in days. It’s completely wrecked. Heart broken. Worse than anything he’s seen and it’s all because he’s just fucked up beyond repair.  “God, this is so messed up. I promise..just..” Reaching for your hand, he tried to give you a reassuring squeeze. Feeling like he was only giving you a panicked grip before he let go to hold onto the wheel. “Tonight was a lot..I just..need to get home and..think.”

 He’s waiting for you to yell at him. Tear him to shreds for having done such an awful thing just now. But you don’t. Instead of sounding like the fierce girl from before, you’re croaking out your words. Hitting him in the heart in a completely different way.

 “Have fun with your thinking.” you said, grabbing your jacket and dashing out of his car. He can’t look up from the wheel. All he can think about is the fact that he’s probably messed up something really good. 

  ONE MONTH LATER

 It’s a crazy few days after that night. 

 Steve attempted to fix things. The first thing he did was fix what he could with Nancy. Giving her gifts back and wishing her luck with things. The girl returned the sentiments, but also invited him to be a part of the service for Barb. With things finally coming into light about the lab, the Hollands were actually able to put their daughter to rest. 

 Something Steve was ready to do as well. 

The funeral was on too bright of a day, he thought. Too bright for the Hollands and Nancy to say goodbye to someone they loved dearly. And while Steve knew the focus shouldn’t be on him right now, he couldn’t help but feel his guilt finally hit him. 

 I’m sorry. He thought. Looking over at Barb’s casket. I’m sorry for everything.

 He’s surprised to feel it’s your hand wrapping around his that day. Neither one of you says anything to each other. You don’t need to today. Not when the only thing you guys needed to do was be there for each other.

 But when it was over, you quickly pulled away from his side. Leaving Steve to watch as you joined after your friends. There’d be another day to try and fix things with you. Today, he’d leave you be.

 The days continued on and he found that he was unable to face you just yet. An apology sat on the tip of his tongue. But every attempted phone call ended with Steve feeling sick. He couldn’t get the sight of your sad face from his mind. 

 There was a moment when he thought he’d never get his chance to fix things. But it would turn out that one phone call with Dustin asking for a ride to the snowball dance that would present Steve with one window of opportunity. 

 After a hopeful pep talk with Dustin, Steve watched as his new friend entered the middle school doors. Looking around nervously before entering the gymnasium. In the back Steve caught a glimpse of Nancy inside. Her curls piled up on the top of her head, and her smile bright as she handed the younger grades cups of punch. 

 The sight of the girl still stung to his chest, but he found that it was no longer drowning as it was before. Another sign of what he had to do. 

 Driving past the row of cars by the gym, Steve drove over towards the parking lot. Ready to camp out for the rest of the dance when he noticed a familiar figure emerging from their car. 

 Of course it’s you. And you’re dressed up in the coat he figured you threw away last Christmas. It’s a big enough sign for Steve to attempt what he wanted to do. So, without waiting any longer, he got out of his car. Tugging his jacket on before he moved to stand by your side.

 “You look a little underdressed for the dance.” He said as casually as he could. 

 “I’m afraid I’m just the driver tonight. No chaperoning for me.”

 He watched as you made some room on the front of the car, giving him just enough space to climb on with you. The heat of your body is strong, and he found that he’s inched as close as he can to feel it better. It was now or never with you. So he carefully took a slow breath and spoke up.  

 “I tried calling..” he said carefully “And I mean, really tried.” You looked over at him and he kept his gaze forward so as to not lose his train of thought. “I had the phone in my hand, ready to dial. But every time I thought to call, I just couldn’t help but remember the look on your face.”

 “If you wanted to call to remind me how you feel, I’m glad you didn’t.” you scoffed. He could practically hear as you built the walls around yourself.

 “Don’t do that.” Steve sighed. “Don’t shut me out just yet. I’m sorry. I just- I just wanna explain myself better than how I did.”

 “I get the picture pretty clear, Steve. You regret sleeping with me and don’t want to do anything with me because you still love Nancy.” You’re quickly climbing off the car. Shutting down everything that might hurt your feelings. “I won’t tell anyone about us.” 

 He hated how badly he was already making this. Groaning into his hands, he quickly followed you off the car and moved so that he could stand before you. “That’s the thing. I don’t regret it. None of it. Not the sex, not the kiss, not the day, not even the night before. I wanted all of that.” He still does. But he knows better now. He knows it’s not worth messing things up with you again. “My only regret is that I didn’t give us a good time to recover from the other shit we just went through. Well, that and also hurting you again.”

 You’re frowning at him in confusion. But he’s happy to see you’re still hearing him out. 

 “But you said we shouldn’t have..that you shouldn’t have done it..how am I supposed to take that?”

 “Take it as me being a big idiot?” he said honestly, moving his hand around so that he could cup at your warm cheek.“I’m so sorry, Trouble. I hurt you again and I can’t beat myself enough for that.” He kept his gaze on you, hoping that you’d hear his truth and understand him, “And I know you should hate me, but I’m selfish with you and can’t let you go again. I’m just-..I’m just a guy who doesn’t know what girl would truly like him, let alone a girl like you.”

 “But I do like you..”

 He let out the breath he had been holding in. You still like him. Even after everything that’s happened. “I know,” he said sadly. The pad of his thumb brushed against your cheek and he watched in silent awe as you rubbed into his palm. “I like you too. But maybe we don’t really know. Maybe we both need some time before we figure out all that?” 

 “Time?” you asked softly.

Sensing that your worries must be getting the best of you right now, he leaned down to press a reassuring kiss to your forehead.  “I can hear you overthinking. I just want you to have time to figure out if what you feel is real, or just the heat of the moment.” 

 The music from the snowball dance began to come out from the gym doors, giving you two a bit of background noise while you figured things out. 

 “Do you need time?” 

 If he was being honest with himself, he’d say how he doesn’t need a second to be with you. But knowing that there were still going to be moments like tonight where he’d look at Nancy and feel some sort of pain, he’d have to change up his needs.

 “No. But I probably should take some time too.”

 Moving both your arms and his, he changed up the position so that the two of you were slowly swaying to the beat of the music. You took the chance to rest your head against Steve’s chest. Making him relax as you comfortably rested against him. 

 “So what happens now?” he heard you whisper. 

 This was it. This was his one chance to finally do right by you and give you the one thing you deserved right now.  “Friends,” he finally decided.  “I’d like us to be friends finally. If you can forgive me and my shitty timing.”

 He didn’t rush you as you contemplated what you wanted to do. Anything decision you’d make and he’d respect it. Even if it meant going against everything he was trying to do. He’d give you whatever it was you needed. 

 It was finally once the song ended that you pulled yourself back to look up at him. The warmth in your eyes is there and he’s pleasantly happy to see that familiar sparkle once more. It has his heart racing again and he can’t help but smile down at you. 

 “Okay, let’s try friends.”

 Something inside Steve took control and he couldn’t stop himself from leaning down and sealing the deal with a kiss to your lips. It’s like being back to a place of comfort and he’s happy to feel as you carefully pressed back against him. 

 “Sorry.” he muttered, slightly embarrassed with you once the two of you realized what happened. 

 “Let’s just keep dancing.” you suggested. Not even realizing the double meaning behind the word. But like before, he’d leave you be. Knowing that it was going to be something you two would come across later on in time. 

  “Yeah,” Steve agreed, wrapping his arms tighter around you. “Just keep dancing..”

 A BIT LATER ON

The sounds of A-Ha’s Take On Me slowly echoed out from the gym doors. The snowball’s DJ had been keeping all the music upbeat and lively the whole night. And you and Steve took the chance to enjoy the free sound while you both entertained yourselves. 

 “Take on me”

 “(Take on me)”

 “Take me on”

 “(Take on me)”

 “I'll be gone. In a day or two!” 

 Steve couldn’t help but pull back to look over at you. Eyes wide as he noticed the slightly pitchy ending to your note. “Trouble, are you tone deaf?” He laughed, still swaying you. 

 You let out a dramatic gasp. “I am not!” you giggled. “It’s just a really high note!”

 “Oh man, you can do everything but sing.” He lied, knowing you could do and be anything you wanted. “Wait until I tell Dustin.” 

 You point a finger over at him. Trying to look intimidating but really you look just cute in Steve’s eyes. “You better not. Or else I’ll mess up that pretty face of yours.” 

 “So you think it’s a pretty face?” 

 “..You’re terrible.”

 “You think I’m pretty!” he sang, watching as you attempted to pull away from his arms. But he quickly changed it to wrapping around you so that you were pressed against his front. “Tell me what’s my prettiest feature. My hair? It’s my hair right?”

 “I’m not even diving into that.” you laughed while shaking your head.

 “My lips?”

 “You wish.”

 “Lashes?”

 “You’ll never get an answer from me..”

 “Oh come on,” he laughed. “Just throw me a bone here.” 

 There’s a second where you seem to go quietly to your thoughts, and Steve’s worried he might have pushed the joke too far, but you slowly reach a hand up to cup at his cheek. The pad of your thumb grazing gently at his jawline while your eyes glanced up to his. 

 “Your eyes..” you whispered. “I think you have very pretty eyes..”

 He didn’t expect for your answer to make him feel so shaken up but he found that he’s shuddering from your truth anyway. “T-thanks.” he muttered, stumbling to come back to being confident like he was moments ago.

 “This is the part where you tell me I have pretty eyes too.” you smirked, making him let out a breathy laugh. Only you would manage to make the conversation light again. 

 “You’re pretty,” he said easily. Beautiful would be a better word, but friends, albeit new ones, don’t talk that way. “Prettiest girl in town.”

 “Oh, I forgot you lay it on thick, Harrington.” you laughed as you looked away from him. Something on your face reminded him back when you two first met and he flirted with you. It wasn’t easy to make you flustered and yet that’s how you were right now.

 He’s about to speak up when the sounds of footsteps cut in.

 “What the hell are you guys doing?”

 Looking behind him, the two of you saw Max, Dustin, and Lucas all stood before your Aunt’s car. The girl had a knowing smirk on her lips while the two boys had slight frowns on their faces. “Dustin,” he coughed, letting you go slowly. “Why aren’t you guys inside?”

 “Why?” snorted the shorter boy. “How about because the dance is over? We thought you guys would come in and get us ten minutes ago. Why the hell were you two dancing with no music on?”

 How long has it been since the music stopped? He didn’t notice. Not when he was talking with you. 

 “We were goofing around.” you explained easily, giving Steve a pat on the arm. “Plus, we never said we’d grab you kids. We’re off babysitting duty tonight, dork.”

 “Such a loving cousin.” Dustin groaned, pushing past everyone to go over towards the passenger door. “But whatever. Do you think we can give Lucas a ride home?”

 “Whoa, hey, I thought you were riding with me?” Steve frowned looking over the three of them. 

 “Well if she’s still around, might as well take me home, right?” Dustin shrugged before nodding over at you. “Well? Can we?”

 You frowned at your cousin before glancing back at Steve. “Mind taking Max for me?” There’s a small pout in your request and he found it a little hard not to be distracted. Even if three other pairs of eyes were watching him intently. 

 “Yeah,” he said eventually. “I can take her.” Looking over at the girl beside him, he nodded towards his car. “Maybe I’ll give her a better driving lesson than you.”

 The other kids frowned at that while you let out another laugh. Very amused by his words. “You’re still terrible.” you chuckled, making your way over to the driver’s seat. “But thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow? Make it up to you with a milkshake?”

 “You got a deal, Trouble.” he winked. 

 You waved goodbye to him, staring at him for a moment longer before getting into your car. The other two boys called out a goodbye to Max before waving over at Steve. Dustin said he’d tell Steve all about what happened when he gets the chance. 

 Alongside Max, Steve watched as your car roared to life, filling the air up with the sound of your engine and soft pattering of music you had been playing. He kept his gaze over at you until the car was driving down the road towards the front of the school. 

 Max gently elbowed his side, giving him a knowing look.  

 “You’ve got it bad, don’t you?” she asked, smugness heavy in her tone. But Steve was too happy, too content, with how the night went to be embarrassed by her teasing. And considering everything that’s happened, he didn’t hesitate to give her a reply while he opened up the car door for her.

 “You have no idea.”

A/N: If you’ve made this far, god bless you!! this took about 4 months to finally put together. I’ve been working on it since July and have been going back and forth on it.  I’m very to be finished with it and hope you guys enjoy the inside of my poor Steve’s mind. I’m not really sure how much canon Steve would think this way, but I hope I tuned in to a little of what he might sound like. Thank you guys so much for the support. As always, I appreciate every like and comment!

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Day 3 of winter fluff! A bit more sappy than fluffy but hey, sometimes they need some sap.

Prompt: Gifts

Featuring: Astarion x Rogue!Tav

Series: Part of Love at First Knife, AO3 link here

Premise: Astarion and you love stealing gifts for each other all the time, so when it comes to a Winter Solstice present, you’re stumped on what to give him. You’re not particularly talented at things that aren’t killing, so you ask your good friend Shadowheart for advice. It turns out Astarion had much the same issue.

Tags: POV Second Person, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Fluff, Holidays, post-canon

Word count: 1.5k

“Shadowheart, I need your help!” you say to the cleric, who’s currently sitting at your dining table. She'd come over for drinks and stayed the night, providing you with the perfect opportunity to get her opinion.

She looks up from her morning meal to your sudden, panicked appearance. “Good morning to you too.”

“Good morning,” you say with a huff. “Now, would you please help me?”

“That depends,” she says, lolling her head to the side pensively. “Are you here for the exact same reason Astarion ambushed me this morning?”

You give her a confused look, as if to say, ‘how-the-hells-am-I-supposed-to-know-that’ and respond with a pleading, “Shadowheart.”

"You're both so predictable," she says with a sigh. "Very well, what do you need help with?"

"It's almost the Winter Solstice and I don't know what to get Astarion." It's the first Winter Solstice you'll spend together, and while you were looking forward to having some company over for a Midwinter celebration in a few weeks, this holiday would just be for the two of you.

Shadowheart purses her lips knowingly, and you belatedly realize what she'd meant.

"He asked you too, didn't he?"

"He did," she says, taking an excruciatingly long sip from her goblet of what you strongly suspect is more wine. "And I'm going to tell you the exact same thing I told him: you're the only one who knows what would be meaningful."

"What kind of advice is that?" you ask with a scoff, before you start to walk off.

"Funny, he said the same thing."

__

Despite your complaints, Shadowheart's advice does prove useful. When you finally sit down to think, you come up with a few strong candidates for presents.

A new dagger– he keeps talking about how one of his current ones has a hilt that cuts into his thumb.

A new pomade for his curls– he’s noted a few times that the kind he uses doesn't take well to the cold.

A skeleton key – you're not sure how difficult it would be to obtain, but he's mentioned one more than enough times that you're certain he would make good use of it. 

But all of these things are so… normal. After all of the adventures you've lived though together in such a short amount of time, none of these items feel like enough.

What can I get him? You pace, you yell, you assure the man in question that you're perfectly fine, thanks for asking.

It's not until Astarion's distracted by his meditation that an idea finally clicks. Aha!

__

"Well darling, I know we said nothing too much this year– after all we found each other, the greatest gift of all," Astarion says with an exaggerated hair toss, to which you give an amused snort. "But I couldn't help myself." 

He hands you an ornate metal box, atop which a large red ribbon is expertly tied. "Astarion," you say with a gasp. "This looks too nice!"

"If you think the wrapping is nice, wait until you open it," he says with a cheeky, fanged grin.

"Wait– before I open it!" 

You're both seated before your fireplace, cuddled up on a couch. So when you suddenly jolt up, ruining Astarion's cozy lean into you, you just hear a disgruntled, 'really, darling!' 

Paying no mind to his complaint, you go to where you hid your present for him. You have a quick moment of concern, is it enough? Will he like it? But your excitement to give him the gift overrides all others, so you scoop it up and return to your lover.

"Here, let’s open them together,” you say, depositing your far-less-impressive gift box on his lap. It’s still a nice wooden box with a gold ribbon tying it together, which Astarion gladly takes.

“Oh darling, you shouldn’t have,” he says, with unabashed joy on his face. 

You sit facing one another and open your gifts on the count of three. 1… 2… 3!

A moment later you have the ribbon off and the box opened in front of you to see a set of three items, each more beautifully embroidered than the last: a silken black scarf, a pair of delicate black lambskin leather gloves, and a black hooded cloak.

On the first, you see a pattern of red azaleas along the edges, a flower with nectar often used in poisons. Your knowledge of toxins was one of the things you’d first bonded over– you remember entering a vivid conversation with him over the merits of various poisonous plants and which venoms were worth using in combat.

On the second, you see a gold pattern of thieves’ cant symbols along the rim of the gloves. You take a moment to read the text, easily slipping into the written language of rogues. The left glove says, ‘together we fight’ and the right glove says, ‘together we stay.’ How appropriate for a matching set of gloves, you think.

On the third, the cloak, the embroidery is done in a dark gray thread, likely to keep it practical for hiding in the shadows. The effect is subtle but beautiful, as you see that Astarion has detailed out two sections of the cloak. On one side is a deadly looking dagger, a snake wrapped around it. Next to that is a matching dagger with a bat hanging from it. You smile at it, a deep affection gripping your heart– it’s the two of you.

“Oh Astarion,” you say, looking back to him with a lump in your throat.

The man in question is still absorbed with one of your gifts, and you realize he’s likely unable to hear you right now. 

Before him lay your own presents: a new dagger, like you’d planned for, a new pommade which it appears he’s already opened, and the object he’s currently using. In his hands is a smooth, fist-sized orb, glassy in appearance but clouded over now as Astarion uses it. With some assistance from Gale, you’d managed to procure a memory orb, an object that allows you to store up to ten minutes of memories and relive those memories by concentrating on the object. 

You’d filled it with memories of the two of you, including hugs, kisses, moments of love and excitement. It was a cacophonous melody of your time together so far, and one that seems to be a tune to Astarion’s liking, judging from the smile on his face as he concentrates on the object.

After the ten minutes elapses, he emerges from the memory to find you already wearing the gifts he’s made you. “Astarion, I can’t believe you made these in such a short amount of time,” you say, as soon as he’s back. “They’re amazing.”

He laughs breathlessly, head still swimming with memories. “I’m glad you like them, dear. It certainly helps that I can embroider while you sleep.”

“Well, you outdid yourself,” you say, showing off your gloved hands to him. “Every little detail is just so perfect. Thank you, love.”

“Of course,” he says and his smile overwhelms you with its brilliance. “And your gifts, especially the orb... darling, that was…” He trails off, looking at you with glassy eyes. 

“It wasn’t too sappy?” you ask him, knowing how uncomfortable he gets when things get too mushy.

He shakes his head at you, and grabs your gloved hands in his. “Not at all. It was fantastic. Seeing myself through your memories… I guess I see why you fell for me.” His fanged grin is wicked, but the love behind his eyes is unmistakable. 

“You were annoying easily to fall for, love,” you say with a wistful sigh. You pause a moment and tug on his arms. “I confess, I also wanted to get you a skeleton key, but I’m starting to think those are a myth.”

Astarion laughs, placing the rest of the presents on a side table and pulling you closer. “Isn’t that sweet of you? No need dear, there’s nothing behind a lock that I need that badly, not when I have you.” He presses a soft peck on your lips as he drags you onto him.

“Wintertime has done something to you, love,” you say, curling into his lap. “I’ve never seen you so sappy.”

The man grimaces, but holds you close all the same. “Please don’t say that near Shadowheart, she’s already accused me of something heinous.” 

“Oh? What’s that?”

“She said I was ‘getting into the holiday spirit’,” he answers, all but gagging on his own words. “Ridiculous. I just enjoy lavishing you with gifts.”

You wrap your arms around his neck and say, “You are quite good at that.”

“Mmhm,” he murmurs happily at your praise. Carefully unwrapping your new scarf from your neck, he begins peppering you with kisses. Each sends a jolt of electricity down your spine and you only hold him tighter. “You know, some of those memories were quite… well, memorable. Would you care to recreate any?”

The only response you can manage under his fervent kisses is a pleased hum. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you make a note to thank Shadowheart for her sage gift-giving advice.

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Safest with You (Ch. 7 - The Third Date)

5.3K / Modern AU Retired Mob Enforcer!Din Djarin x fem!Reader

Summary: Din takes you to see a prize fight, and the evening does not end the way either of you expect.

Warnings: Fluff but also Angst, pet names as usual (pretty bird, baby, pretty girl, etc.), descriptions of blood splatter, mention of alcohol consumption, men (not Din) harassing reader at a bar, very poor description of boxing by a person who knows nothing about boxing (me.)

A/N: I'm...sorry about this 🫣 Our (first!) chapter with angst; oh my feelings - we will get through it together? For some levity, while I'm trying not to be too heavy handed with the Star Wars references, I did have a lot of fun plopping in some character names from The Mandalorian to make up Din's rag-tag group of mob enforcer friends. Picking a Hutt to insert was another story - I tried to pick a name that (exists and) fit into the scene, but I'm not married to it; if upon reading you think another Hutt family character's canon characteristics are more fitting, please let me know and I'll change it! Thanks and thanks as always for reading!

Series Masterlist

“Ok, hang on, I gotta let Rory into the meeting.”

The mosaic on the screen shifts, and Rory appears in a new tile, “I can’t believe it’s a Saturday and I’m taking a Zoom meeting.”

“Stoppppp. It’s for the greater good – please help me pick an outfit,” you plead with an exaggerated pout.

“You never ask for fashion advice?  We’re always asking you.”

“Ok, thank you for hyping me but for real I need help.  I’m going to a boxing match!?  Movies and pop culture tell me that every woman there is either wearing a bandage dress or a bikini and I’m not wearing either,” you step back to show off your bed that’s cover in heaps of clothing options.

You’re nervous.  Not because of anything Din’s said or done, and not even because it’s the “third date” (not as if you and Din are following any type of out-dated dating script), but because you’re stepping into Din’s world tonight.  So far, you and Din have been dating in a blissful little bubble, just the two of you (and Al!), but tonight, you were going to meet the people closest to him, his people.  When you had confessed your nerves to Din earlier, he had affectionately told you he was proud to be bringing you as his date tonight; you didn’t want to let him down.

In the end, you and your friends opt for a white, off the shoulder silk shirt, loosely tucked into a silver skirt.  The shoulder cut-out of the shirt drapes purposefully low down your arm, revealing the entire strap and more than a little of the top of your lacy black bra chosen especially for Din.  There, you think, it’s not a bikini, but it’s sexy.

Din couldn’t agree more.  Your little lingerie peek-a-boo is nearly all he can think about at the restaurant and the entire cab ride over to the fight venue.  A few times during dinner he might have lost his train of thought mid-sentence, teased mercilessly by that small triangle of lace and the ample curve of your breast that isn’t contained within.  You blush and smirk at his barely concealed drooling.  Now in the cab, Din has his arm draped around you, and you let him absentmindedly toy with the exposed strap; periodically he slips a finger or two under the strap and slides it down as far as your innocent looking white shirt will allow, then back up again.  You can feel your nipples harden against the soft lace, and by the time you step out of the cab, you’re flushed and your core is already fluttering. 

You take Din’s arm and walk with him towards the entrance, still somewhat nervous; Din senses your hesitancy and not used to seeing you withdrawn in any way, he pulls you aside before you get to the main doorway.

Holding you close, one hand lingering on your lower back and the other cupping your face, he gives you a long, deep kiss, meant to be soothing.  Opening your eyes and you murmur, “Just one more, please”.

“One more?”

“One more minute.  One more kiss.  While it’s still just the two of us,” you explain, wistfully.

“Pretty bird, we don’t have to go in.  Just say the word and we’ll go somewhere just you and me.  It can be just the two of us for as long as you’d like,” Din gently strokes your cheek with his thumb and gazes at you with sincerity brimming in his eyes.

Reaching up, you bring Din’s face down to yours and kiss him tenderly.  You want to let him know you’re okay.  You’re nervous, but also somewhat excited to see this world that’s such a big part of Din’s life, and the idea that he wants to include you and introduce you to his friends is actually so touching.  You nuzzle into your favourite little nook right under his jaw, and whisper, “Let’s go in.”

Din takes your hand, and holding on tightly, leads you in to the building.  It’s already insanely busy inside, filled with people here for the fight; as you thread through the crowd, even in the dim lighting, you hear lots of people shouting Din’s name – waving hello, clapping him on the shoulder as they go by.  Din leads you through a side door away from the bustle and takes you down a quiet side corridor; you’re about to ask where you’re going when you see some people up ahead wearing “Mando’s Gym” gear.  In the center of everything, there is an older gentleman in a colourful striped sweatsuit, and a young man, who is wearing baggy grey shorts and a loosely tied warm up robe; you recognize the younger man as Din’s sparring partner from the day you visit the gym after dropping your dry cleaning off at Peli’s.  Din is greeted enthusiastically by both men with big hugs; he claps the younger man on the back and introduces you, then, his voice filling with pride, brags, “Pretty bird, this is Jimmy.  Best middleweight division fighter this side of the bridge.  One of Mando’s best.  And our tireless chief, head coach, Greef Karga, the best of the best.”

You shake their hands happily, and they in turn seem happy to meet you as well; you think you spot them giving each other a knowing look, but it was so fleeting you’re not sure.  Regardless, you enthusiastically wish them luck and let them know how excited you are to be here. When he hears it’s your first fight, Greef tells you you’re in for a treat and gives you some novice spectator pointers – in particular, he tells you to watch out for a move call the “Mando Roll”, a move made famous by Din during his career.  Din hypes Jimmy up with some pep talk and some light combination drills before he takes your hand to go; you wave goodbye to the two men and wish them luck one last time before asking Din, “The Mando Roll, eh?  Didn’t realize I was here with a celebrity.”  You grin at him proudly, and Din’s chest puffs up a little but he responds humbly, “Nah.  Don’t believe everything you hear about me here.  Especially from Paz.  Don’t believe a thing Paz says.”

As if on cue, you come upon the man himself, who seems to be waiting for you and Din so you can all walk to your third row seats together. 

Paz is hilarious.  He has a deep booming voice, and a boisterous spirit about him; he’s huge, bigger than Din, but in the same way you don’t find Din’s size to be imposing, neither do you find Paz’s.  He regales you with childhood stories about Din and tells joke after joke, all the while pretending to ignore Din’s protests and looks of mortification that honestly make everything Paz says even funnier.  He doesn’t forget to ask you questions about yourself, and your heart melts when Din chimes in to brag about you when he thinks you’re not doing so enough yourself; Paz looks impressed before he gives you a mock look of condescension, “You sure you’re with the right guy?” jabbing his thumb at Din.  You look up at Din fondly and nod softly, “Yes, definitely.”  Din can’t stop looking at you either, eyes filled with adoration and, if he’s being honest with himself, maybe love.  When he pulls you in tightly, Paz gives him a look and nod of approval, which Din didn’t need, but finds himself appreciating nonetheless. 

The lights dim and the fighters’ ring entrances begin; you cheer loudly with Din and Paz when Jimmy goes by, looking pumped and intimidating.  The first few rounds of fighting go by in a blur; the fighters move with blinding fast speed, unleashing powerful punch after punch – it’s violent and graceful all at once.  Both Din and Paz are pointing things out to you, teaching you boxing terminology and noting finer points on the bout that you definitely wouldn’t notice otherwise; when the bell dings signaling the end of a particularly intense round, Paz turns to you, “Did you see that last move, with the bob and weave?  That’s the “Mando Roll”.  Your boy invented that!  It’s what’s going to win Jimmy this fight, you just watch.”   You look at Din, who’s got a cocky smile on his face, even though he’s running his hand through his curls, bashfully.  Your eyes shine with pride; you knew from the articles and awards at the gym and his apartment that Din had been a talented and successful fighter… but tonight you’re seeing for the first time that it was more than that.  He’s an important figure in this community, a leader with a legacy… just like his dad.  You make a mental note to share this thought with Din later; for now, you hope he can tell by the expression on your face how proud of him you are. And how proud you are to be here with him.

If you thought the excitement and intensity of the fight would die down a little in the later rounds, you were mistaken; if anything, the crowd gets rowdier and louder, amping the fighters up more, even though they have to be exhausted.  Nearing the end of round 10, Jimmy gets the upper hand against his opponent, drilling him against the ropes before stepping back and delivering a knock out uppercut.  This last punch happens as if in slow motion; Jimmy’s opponent’s feet leave the ground as the force from Jimmy’s glove propels him backwards, body twisting slightly before he falls to the ground unconscious.  Before you’ve finished processing what you’re watching, you’re hit with the losing fighter's blood splatter.  Most of it lands on the people sitting in the rows in front of you, but a fair amount lands on your shirt and you can feel a bit of it on your cheek.  Instinctively, you touch it with your hand, accidently smearing it.  Din looks at you in horror but gathers himself quickly to ask you with deep concern if you’re alright.  You have to admit, you’re not sure how to feel, but you let him know you’re okay with a reassuring smile before asking him to point you in the direction of the restroom so you can clean up.  In the restroom, the droplets that landed on your skin are easily and thoroughly cleaned off, but your shirt is a bit of a mess.  The delicate silk is splattered in a big, almost Pollock-esque pattern; you decide to leave it as is, figuring you’ll probably just turn it into a bigger mess if you try to clean it here. 

You get back to your seat as Jimmy is being declared the winner of the fight in the ring, and you’re glad to see that his opponent has regained consciousness and is standing up of his own accord.  You cheer as Jimmy’s arm is raised as the victor, but notice that Din doesn’t appear to be joining in the reverie.  In fact, he looks downright despondent.  Taking his hand, you give him a soft, but quizzical look and mouth, “Everything okay?”

No. Everything was not okay.  Din had seen a lot bloodshed in his life, hell, he had caused his fair share, but he's never become desensitized to the underlying violence.  He was not prepared for that type of violence, bloody violence, to touch you.  In the second before he had realized where the blood splatter had come from, all he saw was you covered in blood, and he had felt nothing but intense panic and fear.  And maybe, a little voice in his head adds, guilt. Even now, he is reeling from those feelings.  He doesn’t know how to articulate any of this, so instead he drops his eyes to your stained shirt and says sadly, “I’m sorry about the mess, pretty bird.” 

Ducking a little so you’re now holding his gaze, you look softly at Din, somehow knowing he’s feeling more than he’s letting on; you kiss him warmly and whisper, “It’s okay. I’m okay,” before wrapping your arms around Din’s neck and pulling him down into you.  You feel Din’s back muscles relax under your hands, as he presses you in tightly and just holds you for a minute.  Behind your back, Din and Paz lock eyes; a look of understanding passes between the two men before Din closes his eyes and let’s himself melt into your embrace.

Now that the fight is over, most of the crowd moves, almost as one, to a bar across the street for the planned after party.  Din’s mood seems to have lightened considerably; with his arm around your waist, he steers you through the crowd, shouting salutations to people he knows and sporadically introducing you to people as they come up to say hi.  You don’t remember all the names, but they all seem to be people that have known Din from when he was a child, watched Din box during his glory days, are somehow associated with the gym, knew Din’s dad or some combination of the above.  Even more memorable are some of the stories Din whispers in your ear when out of earshot of the person you just met (like the gym member who thought that the Mando’s locker rooms had a nude sauna.  They don’t), and you’re glad that the faces are all kind of a blur because otherwise, you might never be able to face some of these people again.  The entire bar erupts with cheers when Jimmy, Greef and some of the other team from Mando’s arrives; they head straight for Din and you give them your hearty congratulations once Din’s released them from his bear hugs.  You assure Jimmy that you thoroughly enjoyed your first boxing match and you’re glad it was one of his; when Greef learns that you saw the “Mando Roll” he looks like a proud papa bear, of Jimmy or you, you’re not sure.  Slowly, the entire friend group descends on your and Din’s location and you get a chance to meet them all.  In addition to Paz, there’s Woves, Mayfeld, Bo, Koska, and a few younger boxers from the gym, Brian, Santos, and Iggy tonight.  It’s a great group; everyone is welcoming and even appear eager to meet and get to know you.  You dance with Din, laugh at Paz’s jokes and sip drinks with the group. 

At a certain point, you need a bit of a breather, so you volunteer to go to the bar to get the next round of drinks for everyone.  When you give your order to the bartender, you’re told it might take a while given the number of drinks; honestly, you don’t mind and happily take the opportunity to give your social battery a mini-charge, check your messages, and just take in your surroundings.  You’ve missed a lot of messages and you’re about to dive into the group chat when you’re aware of someone standing directly in front of you.  You look up; it’s a stranger, and not one you remember Din introducing you to earlier in the evening. He’s standing uncomfortably close to you, as if you’re already acquainted, which you most certainly are not.  Once the stranger knows he has your attention, he lays on a thick, “Don’t think I’ve seen a pretty thing like you around here before.”  You appraise the man in front of you; he’s okay looking but there’s something about his posture, his presence that’s just... slimy.  Suddenly, you notice on either side of you his friends inching closer, flanking you, and they too seem to have a greasy, sluggish look about them.  You almost sigh; their intent is so obvious, and all the more insidious for not trying to hide it well. Under different circumstances, you would be feeling at best, harassed, and at worst, panic, but with Din and his friends just a few steps away, you know you’re perfectly safe.

“You wouldn’t have.  First time,” you give a thin smile, before making a gesture to show you need to check your phone now.

“Well let me and my friends show you a good time!  We know everyone here.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’ve got a great group of hosts already,” and you point towards Din and his friends.  The men take a look in the direction you’re pointing and seem to hesitate, but then carry on as if what you said is a but a mere inconvenience.

Din had been talking to Paz when he looks over and sees you being surrounded at the bar and hisses, “Fucking Hutts.”  Paz looks over as well, “She looks like she can handle it.”  And it’s true, you really do look like you’re fine (annoyed, but fine), but Din sighs, “Yeah, but she shouldn’t have to.  Those guys are slime.  She shouldn’t be anywhere near them.”  Paz raises an eyebrow, “You wanna talk about what’s really bugging you?  I saw you back there when she got blood on her.  You worried she can’t handle being with a Mando?”

Din shakes his head; it’s not that.  He is sure you can handle anything… but should you have to?

“You’re worried she’s too sweet for all this?” Paz gestures generally.

Sighing again, Din shoulders droop a little, “Maybe.  She’s a good girl, you know?”  That little voice in his head from earlier is nagging him with more insistence now, too good.  He’s watching you, knowing you’d make eye contact with him if you needed help, but he really can’t stand you being so close to those assholes.  You’re not even giving Gorga Hutt and his cronies a forced smile anymore; he sees your mouth make the words: “No, I’m sure.  No, thank you” and he’s off, long strides reaching you with just a few steps.  He walks right past the man standing stupidly close to you, and maintaining eye contact with him, says, “Hutt.”  The man practically sneers back, “Mando,” as Din slides an arm protectively around your waist and turns to stare daggers at the 3 men who have now all lined up together.  Luckily, at this moment, the bartender appears and slides over a tray with all your drinks, so you tug on Din’s arm, “Do you mind helping me carry these?” and like that, the two of you leave the three Hutt men before they can get another word in.

Everyone is thrilled to get their refills, and you take the opportunity to ask, “How come those guys back there called you guys “The Mandos”?  Is it just because of the gym?”

Maybe you imagine it, but there seems to be moment of stalled silence where no one in the group speaks, before Bo pipes up and answers, “It was the name of our club when we were kids; the gym was like our clubhouse, so… look, we weren’t very creative kids, okay?”  Everyone laughs, and Bo waves you over and starts telling you some of the shenanigans the group got into when they were young.

“You really didn’t let her know what she’s stepping into, brother,” Paz says quietly so only Din hears.

Din looks at Paz with something like regret.  He’s doing a visual sweep of the room; it’s second nature to him in crowds like tonight’s, but it also serves to distract himself from the agitation of running into the Hutts.  He looks around the room and sees a few men leering at you; not just the Hutts, although Gorga is still at the bar where you left him and looking over with a sour expression, but other unsavoury types that Din is no stranger to.  Din can read the look he sees in their eyes: to folks like that, you were a mark.  Prey.  The voice in his head gets louder: You were a pretty bird and he had brought you into a den of hunters, and you didn’t even know.

Din’s so deep in his own thoughts, he doesn’t notice when a petite brunette breaks away from a group of girls hovering on the periphery of his friends and makes a beeline for you.

You’re in mid conversation with Bo, who you’re finding to be incredibly refreshing and interesting being a female body builder when you turn to put your empty glass down; however, turning back, you find a girl you haven’t met has wedged herself between you and Bo while you were faced away.  The look on Bo’s face indicates she’s just as surprised you are.

“So you’re Din’s date.”  This is stated more like a fact than a question.

“I guess I am,” you introduce yourself; the girl says her name is Vanessa and she’s giving you a smile but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes, so you honestly can’t tell where this conversation is going.

“You know, so many of us girls have tried to lock Din down, maybe you’ll finally be the one to do it.”

Oh.  Does Din have… groupies?  “Oh!” you give a polite laugh, “I can honestly say that locking anyone down or having anyone lock me down, has not crossed my mind.”

“A couple of us girls have had a lot of fun trying,” she tilts her head in the direction of a group of girls that are hovering close by, “Din’s a total catch.  One of the best I’ve ever had.”

Ah ha.  This is new for you.  All your life you’ve been a girl’s girl, and one thing about being a girl’s girl is to never let men be the cause for contention, but man oh man, this girl is definitely fishing hard for a reaction from you; you know what she wants, but it’s honestly not in you to give.  Instead, you look at her with a sympathetic expression, “Oh I don’t doubt it.  Din’s probably one of the kindest people I’ve ever met.”  It’s the truth and the best you can offer her.

She looks at you with disbelief before scampering off; Bo stifles a laugh before the two of you return to your conversation.

Din is starting to feel like he’s been away from you too long; then he knows he’s been away from you too long when Bo comes by and tells him about your little interlude with Vanessa.  He immediately finds you; slipping his arms around you from behind, Din nuzzles your neck and murmurs, “Sorry, I’ve been neglectful, baby.  Not leaving your side for the rest of the night, I promise.”

You turn in his arms and winding your arms around his waist, you happily press your mouth to his, “Don’t worry.  I’ve been thoroughly entertained.  I’ve been learning soooooooo much about you, Din.”  Your eyes are twinkling. 

Din should have known that you wouldn’t let Vanessa bother you; although he still feels like he has to address it.  He presses his forehead to yours, “So… I heard you had a visitor.”

“Oh right. Vanessa,” you chuckle.

“Pretty bird, there’s nothing going on, I promise.”

You give Din a quick, reassuring kiss, “Oh, I know.  I wasn’t bothered by what she said.”

“…but you were bothered?” Din pulls away to look at you, as if checking you over to make sure you were alright.

You tuck yourself under his chin and sigh, “It’s nothing really.  Just... surprising? It’s been a really long time since someone, never mind someone I don’t even know, has gone out of their way to be intentionally mean to me.”

Din feels his chest constrict.  Of course you would be perceptive enough to recognize casual cruelty when you saw it, and of course it would wound your tender heart, “I’m sorry, pretty bird.  You don’t deserve that.”

You burrow deeper into his arms, “Thank you.”

“I still want to make sure you know, there isn’t anyone else. Only you, baby.”

“Okay,” you lift your face to his and invite him to kiss you.  He melts into your lips, but can’t ignore the persistent voice in his head that’s only gotten louder over the course of the evening anymore.

---

In the cab on the way home, Din is quiet.  You snuggle extra close to him and when he tightens his arm around you, you nuzzle your way into your nook and press light kisses to his neck.

Din looks down at you and his heart breaks a little at the sweet look you give him; he can’t help himself, and he kisses you, soft and long – he knows he shouldn’t with what he’s about to do, but he also knows this could very well be his last chance to kiss you and he can’t convince himself to pass it up. 

He wonders how it could end like this – when he first saw you this evening, gorgeous and sexy as hell, teasing him with a peek at your black lace lingerie, he was sure tonight was the night he was finally going to take you upstairs and ruin you, not the night he was going to walk away. 

But he had made up his mind before leaving the bar.  Paz was right, you were too sweet for his world.  Din had been busy trying to make sure that he deserved you, he hadn’t thought about if you deserved what he would bring into your life.  You didn’t; you didn’t deserve to be on the periphery of violence, never knowing if it would touch you directly, you didn’t deserve to be in the company of lowlifes and scumbags that would take advantage of your kindness, and you certainly did not deserve to be the recipient of any nastiness simply for caring about him.  How could he bring this kind of darkness into your life?

You’ve been the best thing to happen to him in a long time, and Din’s heart aches knowing these are some of the last moments he will get to spend with you.  But when, out of the corner of his eye, he catches a glimpse of the same shirt that was so inviting to him earlier with blood splatter that looks almost black in the night, it hardens his resolve. 

You sigh deeply into the kisses, only breaking away and opening your eyes when the cab starts to slow down.  Din pays for the cab and helps you out; as soon as he closes the door of the car and it drives away, you make to walk into the building.  Tugging on his hand, you playfully ask, “Did you want to come up and get Al with me, or are you still pretending you don’t want to come up?”  To your surprise, Din doesn’t budge from his spot on the sidewalk and drops your hand.  He stuffs both hands in his pockets and can’t quite look at you when he says, “I don’t think I can come up.” You’re about to make a silly joke about it being the third date, when he continues, “…and I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

At first, you’re not sure you heard him correctly but then you see Din's face; while not quite facing you directly, you can see it looks downtrodden and tired, and you realize he's being serious.  You forget how to breathe for a moment and you don’t know what to say. Didn’t you just have a fun night, full of promise? Hadn’t he kissed you the entire cab ride over? Weren’t the last two weeks of getting to know each other romantic and deliciously tension filled? You’re confused and you say the first ridiculous thing that comes to mind, “You don’t… want to... court me anymore?”

Din didn’t think his heart could hurt anymore, but the way you were looking at him, confused and upset, was proving him wrong.  He shouldn’t have kissed you in the cab.  It had been selfish.  He knows he's been so selfish when it came to you, and that stops now. Din struggles to get the words out, “I don’t think it’s a good idea. I mean, tonight… I shouldn’t have taken you to the fight tonight.  You don’t belong in a place like that.  You showed up in a beautiful outfit and… fuck.” He’s getting flustered now, but he forces himself to press on, “…it’s ruined.” He gestures to the blood splatter on your shirt and hangs his head.

“It’s just a little blood, Din.  It will come out. Nothing has been ruined, I promise,” you can see he’s distressed and you want to comfort him.  You try making a little joke to lighten the mood, “I mean, I know you know a good dry cleaner.”

“It’s not right.  It never should have happened!  A girl like you doesn’t belong near any place like that.”

Oh.  You only now come to the realization that perhaps you hadn’t been paying attention and Din didn’t have fun tonight.  The date had been on his “turf”, so to speak, and around people he’s known a lot longer than he’s known you; maybe Din had had certain expectations on how the evening was supposed to go... expectations that you apparently didn’t meet. “Din, for the record… I had a lot of fun tonight.  I didn’t realize I wasn’t fitting in; I’m sorry if the evening didn’t go the way you had wanted.”  Now it’s you that can’t meet his eye.

“No, no, it’s not… it’s… fine.  It was just clear to me tonight that we come from different worlds and… maybe it’s not a good fit.  I’m sorry.”

You’re trying to swallow your feelings but they’re getting caught in your throat; you force yourself to say, “You don’t have to apologize.  I thought… well… it doesn’t matter what I thought. But it was only our third date, Din – you’re entitled to feel that I’m not for you.” You’re trying so hard to appear calm and neutral despite your heart breaking, that you miss Din wincing at those words. “I guess I want to say that I’m still glad we met, Din. And, thank you.  Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me these past few weeks – all the food when I worked late, helping me walk the dog… the books. Really, thank you.” You pause, shrug a little, then hold onto your arms, trying to make yourself as small as you feel while delaying the next words for as long as you can, “Goodbye.”

Din nods, “Goodbye.”

You walk away, finally free to cry when you realize that you still have to walk the dog.  Even though your tears are already spilling over, you turn around, “Din?” He’s still standing where he was, having not moved, but looks up when you call his name.  Once you have Din’s attention, you look away; you can’t bear to see the expression on his face as he watches you cry.  “I’m going to take Al for a walk. I’ll be back down in just a minute.” Your voice starts to break, “Is it okay if you’re not here when I do?”

“Of course.” Din turns and walks away from you.  You don’t see his own eyes have welled up before you turn to go in.

Inside, you clip the dog up and give him a lot of kisses in the elevator.  True to his word, Din is nowhere to be found when you get outside.  Al looks around, excitedly; most likely for Din.  Perhaps he can still smell him.  You kneel down and say sadly to your dog, “He’s not here, baby. Turns out he didn’t quite like us as much as we liked him.” Al licks a few tears off your cheek as if to comfort you and then trots off to start sniffing a tree.

---

Din watches you with Al from a distance away, out of sight.  He knew you were upset and he wanted to make sure you were safe, being out alone with your dog.  But if he was being honest, it was a perfectly safe neighbourhood – he just simply wanted to look at you for as long as he could.  He stays looking up at your apartment long after you’ve gone in, leaving only when your lights go out.

[anna-scribbles]

can you share some of your writing/planning process for thirteen? i adore the non-linear format - how do you decide what scenes to put where?

ahh thank you!! idk how much of a defined process I have, but there's definitely a lot of planning that goes into it and i can show you some of that.

i keep all the chapters in one doc organized by month, and then i plan everything out in bullet points in a timeline at the beginning. here i just have october and november as examples bc after december things started to get more detailed/messy

all of the scenes (especially at the beginning) set the stage for things i’ve planned to happen later, or establish something that feels relevant to adrien’s character by the time we meet him in canon. the task of condensing an entire month into about 2-3 scenes has been a bit difficult; i’ve found out that i’m a very present-moment kind of writer so it’s harder for me to describe the passage of, like, weeks of time. so i’ve been pinpointing specific threads of adrien’s story that i want to be sure to tell and choosing scenes from each month that build on that.

i’ve had the idea for this fic in the back of my mind since about 2021 so i’ve had several scenes cemented in my mind, ways i’ve decided things played out, etc. some of the writing process has been building the narrative around those things or figuring out how we get there. that’s what i love about prequels in general, honestly - it’s inevitable where we’re going to end up, but how do we get there?

adrien’s situation, at the moment we meet him in origins, is SO endlessly fascinating to me. he is in the process of doing something reckless and rebellious and bold - running away - against the will of his father, a man he spends the rest of the series struggling with his compulsion to submit to. we find out, via the rest of the show, exactly how difficult it is for adrien to stand up to his father. and yet, in his very first appearance, adrien is running away from him.

how did he get here? what, exactly, pushed him to this point? was this the final escalation of a steady build of rebellious behaviors, or an impulsive breakthrough after one awful day too many? what has this small boy been through in the last year, and why does public school seem to be his only fathomable escape?

and WHY, if his circumstances are so dire as to compell him to rebel so boldly in the first place, does he still throw it away to help the old man in the road? what makes him so kind, when he has everything to lose? what happened? how did he get here?

i’m interested, obviously, in the character of émilie. i think that the hole she leaves in the narrative is a compelling silhouette and i’ve been having a blast trying to pencil in its details. it’s obvious that adrien loved her deeply and had a stronger connection to her than with gabriel. but also, adrien was still shut off from the world while she was alive. he was still, presumably, an exploited child star while she was alive. she was an actress and a mother and died by broken magic and never told her son the truth about any of it. figuring out who i think she was and then how to show that through young adrien’s eyes has been a huge part of planning this story for me.

as far as the twenty three year old adrien sections, those have been less involved as far as planning goes. i only recently mapped out which areas of the house i want him to visit during the different months. i wanted his sections to line up at least thematically, if not physically, where thirteen year old adrien is at in his story. for example, in december twenty three year old adrien cleans out the dining room where thirteen year old adrien was having terrible christmas dinner. and in january they’re both in the garden, etc.

it’s a bit harder to map out twenty three adrien just because it has to also make sense geographically - i can’t have him running back and forth up and down the stairs, let’s be real he doesn’t have the energy for that. i’ve also opened up the agreste mansion page on the miraculous wiki so many times while trying to map this out 💔💔 did you know that apparently there’s a third floor we never see in the show. yeah i have to figure out what to do with that now

ANYWAY long story short: the planning process for thirteen is kind of a mess, but the whole story is built around some central plot points that i knew i wanted to hit from the beginning. the details change a lot (as you can see from the outline above - it’s not quite right) but i keep the end in mind. just have to figure out how we get there.

thank you for asking!! mwah<3

[a-world-with0ut-dr34ms]

John Price x Reader

Part One | Part Three

With your Captain at the brink of death and little supplies left to keep you covered, the two of you do what little you can to hold out and distract yourselves until help arrives.

TW//: Blood, Mentions of Death

Angst, Drama, Romance, Action, Suspense, Tense, Near Death Experiences, Confessions of Love, Light Fluff, Confessions, Light Bickering, canon inaccuracies probably, but hopefully not, slight character study, medical inaccuracies, I'm no nurse, I'm a film major :(, a mopey rollercoaster, but the ending is worth it hopefully

Word Count: 4.2k

Took me a few days to ponder what I wanted to do with this (I'm so indecisive), but at last, I finished. I wanted it to be sad, I'm not sure if I succeeded, but I promise it's not pointlessly sad (probably isn't even sad). Also, let me know if I should follow this up with a Part 3 (which would be the final part of this, might do it any way but if this was actually garbage I will keep it pushin'). Regardless, I had fun typing this, I felt rusty typing something actually angsty. I hope you enjoy! ( ㄕཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)

taglist: @tapioca-marzipan @spooky-pomegranate

Thank you again, I hope it was worth the wait (T^T)>

Stay awake. You tell yourself again and again -- stay awake. Don't succumb to the fatigue, ignore the pain in your arm, and keep your foot on the gas. It's either that or you lose Price right here and now.

You look over at your Captain after five more minutes had passed, with nothing but the rocky road and its hills ahead of you to keep you company. Price kept his pistol in hand and his tired blue eyes on the perimeter outside the convoy. He didn't have much to say anymore; it was taking all his energy just not to bleed to death.

His chest rises and falls with each heavy breath he forcibly conjured out of himself. By now his blood stained his seat, growing larger with each hill you've passed. Your Captain would be an angel already had you not found more supplies in the vehicle to temporarily patch him up with. Though he seemed adamant about staying alive, nonetheless.

The night sky darkens, and the road ahead demonstrates its need to be endless. Price had told you before that he had no intention of bleeding to death. You desperately want to believe him.

Clouds roll over the moon, which for a while had shared its glow alongside the headlights of your recently stolen convoy. Its absence only makes you feel more boxed in, placed behind the wheel with your dying Captain. The outskirts of Urzikstan appear an even less welcoming place than before. With its encompassing darkness, your fears of what lie in them only grew, the longer you drove and yet to encounter your destination.

The hills now tower around your vehicle like walls, painted pitch black, becoming mountainous the further out you drive. Had you not seen the fallback zone around the corner, you would have thought yourself lost.

You park the convoy a short ways to the rear of the location: a small, rundown house long abandoned since all the fighting in the area re-escalated. The house was on the outskirts of some empty town not too far away that both AQ, the Russians, and the locals avoided, seeing as the next nearest town was where you just left, and anywhere beyond this point was under AQ and Russian control. It should be a safe place to lie low until your exit is available again.

Price made sure there were a few safe areas to fall back to, in case things went wrong during the mission. Which they most certainly did. You wouldn't even have needed to be here in the first place, had everything not continued to go wrong after acquiring the vehicle. Your bad luck has hopefully since ceased.

However, the night hadn't been over yet. That much had been proven true only a half hour ago.

In a matter of minutes after making your vehicular getaway, AQ had caught up to you, all in convoys, and armed to the teeth. Had Nikolai not been around the corner with his helicopter, you and Price would have surely been run off the road at some point, being as injured as you both are and with hardly any ammo left to spare.

You could only see in your rearview mirror the destruction Nikolai created behind you, the sky having lit up with the flames of your unwanted pursuers. It had almost been perfect, until shrapnel and gunfire damaged Nikolai's helicopter too much during that last-second rescue, forcing him to retreat.

You could still picture watching him fly away, seeing that shadowy monstrosity fly off into the sky, until the hills had swallowed it whole. Watching your only exit out of here fly off into the distance absolutely gutted you. The small sliver of hope you hadn't yet lost had all but gone away with him. Yet you knew it was the safest thing to do. Your LZ had been compromised, and it wouldn't have done any good if you all piled on just to get blasted out of the sky moments later.

So instead, a change of plans was made. Nikolai, being the resourceful individual he was, had other means of escape worked out. He just needed to get there first.

Knowing this, your new objective had been clear and simple for you both: Stay alive.

You park the convoy and shut the vehicle off, watching the headlights die and a chilling silence fall in the air. All you can really do is take a moment and breathe.

Your right arm -- still very much broken and in pain -- rested limply in your lap, begging for a sling. A throbbing headache has not left you since taking that RPG blast only an hour or so ago. With having to wait to be saved now, time felt as though an hourglass had just been rested on its side.

You peek back through your window, seeing the empty hills behind you. No one's been in pursuit since Nikolai's interference earlier. Hopefully, their absence meant you'd finally lost them. You felt you had run all out of hope tonight, yet it's all that felt real and obtainable anymore.

"It seems quiet enough," you start to unbuckle your seat belt. "It's probably safe to head inside now."

You wait for your Captain's reply, only to be met with silence.

"Price?"

You look over to find the Captain lying slumped against his seat, his eyes closed and as still as a statue. The sight makes your blood run cold and your heart quake with fear.

"...Price," you reach over and rest a hand on his shoulder, beginning to shake him. Praying that he'll wake up. "Price, stay with me, Captain. Come on, wake up."

You shake and shake him, but the man doesn't budge from his sudden unconsciousness, his body only moving along to the hold you had over his shoulder. At each little shove you make of him, your eyes further lock on the still features of his face, desperation filling you.

You've tried so hard to keep your composure tonight, if not for yourself then for him. You had wanted to return the favor for all the times he's helped you from the brink of death before. The many times Price has been your last glimmer of hope when you feared none was there to have. You wanted to be that for him now. To show him he needn't shoulder such things alone. He couldn't die now.

"Price, please-"

The Captain starts to cough himself out of whatever slumber he'd found himself in, his face grimacing with pain as he hugged his wounded side. "I'm good..." he claims. "...'ave we made it?"

You look at Price, frustrated at his cavalier attitude, despite having been so used to it before. Frankly, your emotions could not handle it at the moment, given the fact that only a second ago you could have sworn he'd just died.

"It's getting worse," you state.

"I'll be fine," he protests.

"Price," he can hear in your tone you're trying to be real with him now. "Just because you wanna act like it's nothing, doesn't mean that it is-"

"Last I checked, we've little time for us to fuck about right now, lieutenant."

"You just passed out."

Price opened his mouth, prepared to argue more, but pauses when he realizes that he can't really argue at all. He had passed out, and he wasn't so prideful to claim that it wouldn't happen again either. So he instead settles down, allowing you to take the reigns and go back to focusing on the important matters.

"...I know," he says. "I'm sorry... Are you holding up alright?"

"I'm doing better than you."

Then that's what matters most, Price had thought. "I don't doubt it," he says. "And here I was hopin' I'd go out in a more dignified fashion than this-"

"Stop it," you take his hand again, shutting down whatever pity talk he was beginning to spew. Not wanting it to worry you that he's gotten to this point. "Look, we're at the safehouse now. That should make not bleeding to death a hell of a lot easier."

"Or at least more comfortable," Price quips. Though your humorless expression only makes him digress. "There should be more supplies inside."

"Let's just get inside before you pass out again."

It's a struggle to get him inside, and twice as much a struggle to patch his wound up. Price had the place generously stocked with a resupply of weapons, ammo, and medkits, though it wouldn't be enough to change the current dilemma that your Captain was in.

Once your arm had been slung (DIY style), you immediately tended to Price. However, having to help stitch with your non-dominate hand was an absolute nightmare, as much as your Captain tried to take over for himself. His hands had grown too shaky to hold the needle, it would slip from his grasp every so often, and you hadn't wanted to see him grow more frustrated with the task.

Of course, watching you struggle to stitch only upset him more. You were mostly silent, though Price would see your throat move hesitantly, swallowing heavily at every sudden urge that came to you that wanted to cry. You hadn't wanted to in front of your Captain, you didn't want him to worry about you.

You wouldn't let any amount of hindrances stop you, you closed the wound, redressed it, and checked on it a second time before Price finally had to tell you it would hold. Though closed or not, it mattered little. He'd lost so much blood at this point that it was a miracle he wasn't dead already.

But miracles only last for so long.

In and out of consciousness, Price thought a lot about how silly it would be if he bled to death right now. In such a helpless state, forced to rely on his subordinate to keep him alive. Someone who had felt more than a subordinate, now more than ever. You've seen him blown out of the sky, near beaten to death, stabbed, shot, and then some.

Twenty years of all the shit he's been through in the force, and a gut wound from shrapnel is what takes him out. He almost found it funny.

Price has told himself his whole life he'd be ready when the time comes. He accepts death every day he wakes in the morning and steps out the door. It didn't mean he'd lay down and die, however, ironic now. One way or another, the man just always knew that when he went out it would be fighting. Because he's fought his whole life, it's all he knows how to do.

All he could ever ask for is to die doing what he loves, and this had been that. However, now that this love has brought him here beside you, giving him the fate he's all but manifested for himself, over years of growing pessimism and a longing to be dignified, suddenly, he finds it funny how life can be. Now all of a sudden he doesn't feel so ready to go. He thought he'd be more prepared.

And it's what's killing him most of all. This helplessness death has now brought him.

Had Price not gone ahead and made sure Nikolai stashed medical supplies in the safehouse in advance, he's certain he would be dead right now. Though as it's been said before, the night's not over yet.

"Lieutenant..." Price calls to you faintly.

You look over at the Captain, seeing him still seated beside you, his back resting against the living room wall. Though he still looked pale, cold sweat dotting his skin, and with labored breaths, at least he wasn't bleeding anymore. You did what you could with what was available, however, you were no field medic.

"What's up?" you reply, though your attention stays out the window, towards the dark perimeter outside the safehouse. By now these hills would haunt your dreams.

You remain posted by one of the front windows, your pistol clutched in your feeble hand. Since redressing Price's wound (and your own), you've been on watch; despite numerous failed (and delirious) attempts by your Captain to take watch himself. He was as adamant to see you in better health as you were to him.

As far as you're concerned, you're the one who's in the best shape here, broken arm or not. Beyond the exhaustion, you still had all of yourself with you. That alone made you obligated to be the one that gets you both out of this mess.

However, this is the clearest the man's ever felt, and something else had been on Price's mind. A thought which crossed him, after some realization came, somewhere between silences.

Price asks you faintly "...Will you talk to me?"

You look at your Captain now, perturbed. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothin' beyond the obvious, love," Price shakes his head, before bringing a weak hand up to clear his hoarse throat. "Just tryin' not to livin' the night up by passin' out and fallin' into a coma," he admits.

Fair enough.

"OK..." You turn back to the perimeter, running a million possible icebreakers that you could say right now. It's hard to settle for just one. "Where are we going out to eat after this?"

Price chuckles to himself. "Somewhere with good steak and Guinness would suit me," he jokes.

"Can it be somewhere fancy?" you ask. "I'd love to dress up."

"Mm," Price hums.

You've dressed up a few times before whenever the team went out and there was time. He's always liked how you always kept up appearances, and that it wasn't for any other reason than the fact that you just enjoyed doing so. Evidently, Price has had passing memories of a few choice outfits you've worn, many he wished to see again.

"You've any outfits in mind?" He asks you, wanting you to paint a picture for him. Give him something nice to think about.

You think to yourself for a moment, your ponderous hum filling the silence. "A dress," you state, thinking out loud and conjuring it as you speak, as Price hums with affirmation to each suggestion. "I'm thinking something skin tight... low cut with strings and spaghetti straps. Oh! And with one of those little leg slit things too! And heels."

"That's quite a detailed description," Price teases.

You've had a lot of time to think about it, though you'd never admit that. "Does it sound nice though?"

Had you two been having this conversation elsewhere, Price's mind would have undoubtedly gone somewhere vulgar, only picturing how that dress might look bunched up at your ankles or pushed up in a messy bundle around your waist. He's sure that was your intent when describing it as well.

However, with his mind repeatedly giving way to the black throughout this conversation now, his body gone from numb to feeling light as a feather, all he could picture of you in that dress was the smile you'd have for him instead, with a cluster full of joy shining in your eyes. How happy you would be just to be beside him, just as you are now. In these brief moments where your mind has been taken away from reality.

Does it sound nice, you ask him. You could narrate his dying breath, and the man would have thought it a beautiful thing, having been your words he last could hear before the world finally takes him.

"It sounds lovely," he says.

You swallow, your brave front cracking ever so slightly at his honesty. For some reason, it felt as though gravity just came back to you. You hadn't noticed its absence until now.

"Which is exactly why we're gonna get out of here," you reassure yourself. "So I can model it for you in person, yeah?"

"Exactly why..."

It had been nice talking about something else. Seeing you smiling again had warmed the grown man's heart as greatly as any time before. Price had been itching to see it one more time.

No doubt, he hadn't forgotten about his promise to take you out to dinner once you've both returned. Thinking about it now, at the brink of death without you even knowing... it's a sweet thought, nonetheless.

"I've no idea why you even bother with me..." he says suddenly, his mind fading so much he can hardly hear the words which leave him when they do. However, it had been a growing thought all night.

He's never understood your fondness for him. Price knew he could be hot shit, and he's earned respect from countless of his peers and subordinates alike, but it wasn't because he had been special, he always thought. He saw himself as no different than anyone else on his team choosing to do the same mission.

And surely he was a sorry excuse of a man for putting you through such a thing as this, tonight.

However, the scoff you let out after he says this would suggest you beg to differ.

"Are you kidding?" You say, keeping your gaze out the window, though even from there, Price could see the sudden pride fire up in your eyes. "You're like the greatest guy I know, Captain."

Price chuckles. "...I appreciate that"

"I mean it too," you continue. "We wouldn't be 141 without you. You're smart, you're resourceful, you're kind, but you get shit done too. Not to mention you're a total hunk. You're literally the entire package."

Yeah, you thought, Price is the whole package. There wasn't a man around that you trusted more than your Captain, nor was there anyone you ever wanted respect and companionship from more than his.

You still remember the first time you ever met Price. Laswell practically had to fight the man just to let you onto the team, having doubted your capabilities at the time. And in turn, you were doubtful of him as well.

You'd heard the stories of him back even during your SAS days, talking to the man in short, and tuning him out whenever he grew too overbearing during training. You wanted to say you weren't impressed with him, but even then you could see he wasn't just all talk. So the respect had been begrudgingly earned, to start with.

It wasn't until after a few high-tense missions with him that you finally started to get along. You both may bicker and avoid one another on base, but on the field you two worked together like fire and lightning, perfectly complimenting each other.

Price always was fair and reasonable, giving no doubt to his abilities as a leader. His confidence always felt reassuring in the most stressful of operations. While he could be a hard-ass, he was equally proud and gave praise whenever credit was due. Eventually, you started to crave it.

Price always liked how you listened to him, trusting his judgment and taking his advice. He's seen you grow and learn, watching you bleed for your comrades and step into the fire ready, just as he does, and that alone had been respectable to him. You had been so happy to have it too.

The hostility simmered into being cordial, before becoming neutral, and then casual. Your talks warmed, as did your times together. After a while, Price had been as synonymous to you as home ever could be. With all you two have been through, and all the times he's helped you since knowing him, you owe it to him to be his support this time.

"Whenever I'm around you I..." You speak again, but pause shortly, trying to think of the right words to say. "I feel safe," you say. "Like everything's going to be OK, and that soon it'll all be over. Because you're here. I mean, when you pulled me out from that rubble and I saw that you were OK, I just..."

It had felt wrong to ever even have had any doubts then. Because of course Price had been fine, it was Price. That's just who he was.

"I don't think I've ever met a man I've felt so safe around before in my entire life," you say. "Even now-"

You look over, only to be greeted by your Captain lying slouched against the wall, his eyes closed and completely still. Irresponsive. Your smile drops, and your heart sinks to your stomach.

"Captain?"

No response.

You immediately rush to his side and check for a pulse on his neck, your heart shattering when you couldn't find it.

"Price?" Your voice is practically at a whisper now, unable to use your vocal cords to full use, from fear of your voice breaking apart altogether. You place your hand on the side of his face, his skin so cold it makes you shiver, feeling your lip start to quiver and your vision blur with hot tears.

Even now, a small part of you was simply waiting to see him open his eyes again. Expecting him to shrug this off like he does with everything else so easily.

The whole time you sat kneeled in front of your Captain, you kept questioning how you could have let this happen, scolding yourself for this catastrophe. So many emotions flooded within you at one moment, you almost felt unable to process. You wanted to throw up, it was so much. It instead halts you there like a statue, your face frozen blank.

Your grievances are interrupted upon hearing a vehicle approaching outside. Suddenly, you really take in the fact that you're by yourself now. Your heart races, your hands starting to shake and your breathing growing quick. You were on your own.

You press your back against the wall, keeping your pistol close to you. You watch the headlights from outside pool through the window, illuminating the living room and remaining there.

The comms were beside Price; Nikolai would surely notify you if it was him outside. AQ couldn't have found you so soon, could they have?

With a broken arm and your own intuition left, you close your eyes and rest your head back against the wall, repeating to yourself at a whisper, "Please be Nik. Please be Nik. Please be Nik..."

Your comms buzz. "Price, Price, come in," Nikolai radios in. "Help has arrived!"

You let out a broken exhale. For the first time all night, you actually felt some real relief. Though, it was quickly drowned out once you looked back over towards your Captain, still lying there. Only a few minutes shy of being able to know you both would have been rescued tonight.

You reach around Price to grab the comms and radio back in to Nikolai. "Give me a minute, Nik."

You set the comms down, kneeling back in front of your Captain, tears burning in your eyes, your chest on fire.

Seeing him like this had felt so surreal. So unfitting. So unfair.

"Oh John…" You bring your hand down to Price's, holding tightly as his large fingers sat limp in your grasp. Cold and bloodied. You couldn't bring yourself to part from him now. "…I'm so sorry."

Price's hand suddenly twitches in your palm, making you gasp rather meekly. You watch him slowly pry his heavy eyelids open, and he reciprocates the hold you have over his hand, giving you a reassuring squeeze. Letting you know he was alive.

"… I'm right here," Price breathes out. "I'm here…"

Your gasp is broken with both relief and joy, a smile growing on your face and tears streaming down your cheeks. He was alive after all. Of course he was. This is your Captain. This is who John is; forever the class act.

A ping of frustration then hits you, bringing you to shove your Captain suddenly.

"Easy now," he says sarcastically.

"Don’t ever do that again!" you yell at him. "You scared me half to death, you asshole!"

Price raises an eyebrow at your outburst. He then sighs to himself, looking ahead of himself. Content.

"Ah, well…" He retakes your hand again, holding it in his lap for a spell, letting his thumb caress your skin, as he thinks slowly to himself. His breath is as broken as his hand feels in yours, with so much on his mind still left to say. He wouldn't miss these chances no longer. "I love you too."

You open your mouth to speak but then pause. Did he just say that to you? He loves you. Your heart jumped for joy. You didn't lose him after all.

You no longer cared if you looked weak, or unprofessional, or even too emotional, the tears come out and everything you'd been keeping bottled releases into broken sobs, and it feels so good to let them out. You lean into your Captain, burying your head into his chest to cry, which springs a pained "oof" from him in return.

"I'm sorry, Captain," you sit up and wipe the tears from your eyes. "I'm sorry... I really thought I lost you."

"I'm not goin' nowhere," he says. "We've still got that dinner later."

A big, giddy smile paints your face, and then, with a lifetime of moments worth of waiting and build-up to help guide you, you lean forward and let your lips come to Price's. Just in case. You didn't want to take any more chances.

You kiss Price softly, tasting the blood on his tongue and feeling the sting of his beard against your face. He could have been covered in mud for all you cared. You pull your lips away quickly, not having wanted to take up too much time. However, Price chases your lips as you part, finding your mouth again and kissing you back just as longingly. He finally lets himself celebrate the end of this night and the start of tomorrow.

( ´•̥̥̥o•̥̥̥`)♡(˘̩̩̩̩̩̩ ⌂ ˘̩̩̩̩̩̩) part three

[princess-pathetic-112898]

The homophobes/transphobes raging at the latest retcon of Nightcrawler’s origin story is so funny to me. Like- what are you even doing here? You’re complaining about an X-Men book having identity politics??? The series that has been Marvel’s go-to soapbox since the 1960’s?? The series that’s been so ridiculously queer-coded in everything from its conflicts to its character arcs to its goddamn fashion choices for decades??? I’m sorry, did you take a wrong turn and walk into the wrong fandom?

Never mind that having Mystique & Destiny being Kurt’s bio parents was always Chris Claremont’s original intent. Or that their relationship has pretty much always been canon, or that this isn’t even their first time coparenting (albeit poorly, but we love that drama).

You say it’s too convoluted? Ok, and the Azazel retcon wasn’t? Again, it’s X-Men, where convoluted origins and conspiracies reign supreme. You say it conflicts with Kurt’s identity as a man of faith? As if the whole point of his religion wasn’t always to clash with his demonic appearance in order to make the statement that true faith needs to be rooted in love and compassion and not bigotry or an outward show of righteousness? As if the comics have never had Kurt cross paths with far-right Christian nationalists who refused to see him for who he was?

I mean- who’s gonna tell these guys about this classic? Did they think Logurt was a froyo flavor?

In conclusion, I generally don’t like to gatekeep fandom, but omfg these people are such fake fans. As for me, my only issue with the retcon is the reframing of Raven as having wholly loved Kurt & wanted him but she just… misplaced her baby I guess. Like c’mon, guys, we can let Mystique be a messy lesbian AND a shitty baby-yeeting mom, give us that diversity win.

[andrewwtca]

a Soriku Endgame, Actually essay on Light and Darkness

Also available to read on Archive of our Own.

Kingdom Hearts, with Sora and Riku in particular, has been on my mind as of late. It’s always been on my mind, to be honest, ever since I first got into the series. It’s grabbed my hand and hasn’t let go, especially with all the new lore. And yet, I’ve been struggling to make peace with myself. 

On one hand, I don't want to get my hopes up, thinking that Sora and Riku would ever become something 'more' or that what I’m seeing is anything other than in-depth speculation. I've had my heart broken before and this series means too much to me for me to foolishly dive in like this. 

On the other hand, I can't ignore what the story is telling me, as a literary analysis enthusiast and as a diehard fan. There have been parallels established, setups finally going through, and Nomura has said before that “this series is not intended to be child-focused, and so the complexity of the story is purposely made prominent.” I can’t keep turning a blind eye, knowing everything I know, thinking everything I think. If I did, I feel like I would be doing a disservice to both my experiences with the series and my experiences as a person. 

So yeah—Soriku Endgame, Actually. Today, I’m arguing its canonicality because of the balance of Light and Darkness (or lack thereof) throughout the series. Please enjoy my messy and impassioned essay!

a sky of falling stars

The Children of Destiny is a new concept introduced to us in the finale of Dark Road. To summarize, they are people with the ability to feel what others feel, connect, and become one with them—empaths with Light. 

It appears that the Children of Destiny are all descendants of Ephemer, characterized by silvery hair. There's Ephemer, there's Baldr, there's Xehanort—and, oh yeah, there's Riku. 

Upon the release of the finale, a lot of people—myself included—quickly jumped to the conclusion that Sora is a Child of Destiny, which isn't all that wrong. If we're going by what the games have given us, Sora is very special. What other character has housed five different hearts inside his own? What other character had an entire arc in Birth by Sleep talking about how he felt the pain in someone else’s heart?

But Nomura has insisted since the beginning that Sora is an ordinary boy, that he wasn't born with anything special, explaining that he “had the premise that a heart like Sora’s exists within all the players. Sora is ‘ordinary’, therefore everyone is ‘ordinary.” (Before anyone argues Nomura is just going through a retcon, I doubt he would go through with one to this extent, given how he has had the ending to the Dark Seeker Saga in mind for years.)

Riku, on the other hand, has not been given this kind of treatment at all. He's always been painted as a golden child, better than Sora at everything, being the original bearer of the Keyblade. For crying out loud, he had a light in Birth By Sleep that was seen from space, not Sora. If you factor in bloodlines, it wouldn't be too far off to theorize that Riku is a descendent of Ephemer's line. Riku isn't who most look at first, but all signs lead to him being a Child of Destiny. 

But that doesn't explain Sora at all. He may not have been born special like Riku, but he's special somehow. After all, Nomura did finish his ‘Sora isn't special’ line with, “I figure even if you’re ‘ordinary’, for something important, everyone can exhibit a special power just like Sora.” Aqua even calls out that Sora is the one who can set things right, the boy who can touch others’ hearts. 

And that is where the necklace theory comes in.

Sora has always been associated with royalty, sitting on a throne in box art or having crowns plastered around him—or on him. From his debut, Sora has had a crown necklace that has never been explained. Despite wearing it in every outfit, it's never been addressed how it came to be.

It’s after Aqua and Terra came, judging by the BBS cutscenes of him and Riku. But it’s before KH1, as that's when his journey began. That’s a huge timeframe, from being a kid to deciding to leave the islands, but it's easy to pinpoint a time when considering something the games still never fully fleshed out: the meteor shower. 

In Chain of Memories, Sora and Riku fight over this memory they supposedly both had of Namine one night during a meteor shower. One of them promised they would keep her safe, and it's all cute until we remember that Namine wasn't actually in these memories. And Namine can't make any new memories—she can only rearrange old ones. 

Sora and Riku both share this memory. And the way they fought over this memory gave it the utmost importance. It becomes obvious at this point that the both of them witnessed a meteor shower, and given what we know about their dynamic (and that's a lot), it would make sense to assume it was Riku promising Sora to keep him safe—almost like a charm.

The necklace theory has been around for years, but it’s only after the Dark Road finale that it was expanded upon (or perhaps it’s just me and maybe three others who think this, but I don’t mind one bit.) It isn't just Riku promising to keep Sora safe. In giving Sora a necklace, a crown, Riku has metaphorically crowned Sora. He has brought Sora up to his status as a Child of Destiny, putting all his love into a charm that he hopes can keep Sora safe. 

There’s a flaw in my logic though, trust me, I know. I just said that this meteor shower didn’t happen until after BBS, and yet it’s during the game that Sora feels the pain of others, it’s during the game that Aqua says that Sora is going to be the one to set things right. But I still stand firm in my belief. Riku has always been painted as the golden child, the Child of Destiny, but his love for Sora runs deeper than his love for anything else. 

Riku’s light is the one that brought Terra and Aqua to Destiny Island but Riku’s light shines for Sora; sort of like step one to Sora’s crowning. Riku’s light rubbed off on Sora, ever since they were kids—after all, a Child of Destiny’s power is to connect hearts. Why not connect his own with another? Why not share his light?

Further, in BBS, Sora can feel Ven’s pain and take care of his heart, but he isn’t fully aware of this nor is he able to really do anything about this. It isn’t until KH1 that Sora ever exhibits a power of truly connecting to another’s heart when Sora entered the darkness swallowing Riku and touched Riku’s heart’s light to obtain his Keyblade, explained by Nomura himself. And it isn’t until KH3 that Sora finds the power to wake up Ven’s heart.

Regardless of whether or not I’m right about this, it means Nomura isn't technically wrong about Sora being normal. Sora, no matter what, doesn’t have some divine birthright, but he still has the makings of someone who can bring peace to the world—all thanks to Riku.

This helps set the tone of their relationship, of the depth of Sora and Riku’s bond. It also moves the storyline forward to how they will be the ones to instigate change—but I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s first talk about who once were and who they could’ve been.

in another life

Kingdom Hearts is pretty on the nose on parallels between Xehanort/Eraqus and Riku/Sora. Besides personality, Xehanort and Riku are both Childs of Destiny who give in to the darkness and Eraqus and Sora are endless sources of light. But the parallels don't exist to make us empathize with Xehanort/Eraqus: they're to tell us a cautionary tale of what our protagonists could've been. 

So it begs the question, what actually separated Sora and Riku from becoming like Eraqus and Xehanort? Let’s start with Riku.

To recap, Xehanort was a student in Scala ad Caelum alongside Eraqus, who watched all his classmates die. He learned from Baldr about their roles as Children of Destiny and in his grief, became obsessed with wiping the world clean. He wanted a Keyblade War to create a fresh start, void of Light and Darkness, so that the world could try again. 

Riku seemed to have been walking the same road as Xehanort. He stopped fearing Darkness and started dancing on the line between it and Light. Riku was angry at the world and angry at his friends, and perhaps in another life, he may too have wanted to wipe the world clean. 

But every time I compare him and Xehanort, I can't help but think that a cautionary tale isn't what Xehanort/Eraqus is. Because I can't help but think that it just could never have happened to Riku, and it's for two main reasons: 

1) Hope.

Riku has hope in the world. When we look at all the other Children of Light, they all had a Darkness that took them down (although in Ephemer's case, it was a literal Darkness that killed him). Baldr lost himself in grief. Xehanort lost himself in rage. But not Riku. 

When Xehanort saw that the world couldn't be fixed (to how he believed it should be), Riku did not even see a world that needed fixing. Riku saw the world in all of its complicated glory. For instance, Riku is one of the first characters to acknowledge the feelings of Nobodies; their pain, and their love. He doesn't see them as an extension of Darkness or Light. They simply are. 

Riku believes in redemption. It's been his entire character arc, after all, to redeem himself and walk the Road to Dawn, a term coined way back in CoM. Ever since then, Riku has been closely associated with the sunrise—night turning into day. Darkness becomes Light. Redemption. This symbolism is shown in box art, said in interviews, even his Keyblade is called the Way to Dawn. 

The fact that Riku was even able to think of the Road to Dawn proves that he's nothing like Xehanort. Xehanort believes that there is no redemption because the world needs to be wiped clean. But Riku believes that there is a road he can walk, a road he can take to salvation because the world is not good or bad, but made for people to live and learn. But how? How was he able to walk that road? He has hope, but how was he able to use it? And that's the second reason. 

2) Sora. Riku has Sora. 

It may feel a bit obvious to say, but it's true: the fact that Riku is Riku; Sora is Sora; and their relationship is the way it is, is the key to why they would never have fallen to the same fate. We don't know the full extent of Xehanort and Eraqus's relationship, but it's safe to assume it wasn't as kind or loving as Riku and Sora's ever were. The two would play as kids, promise to keep each other safe, tell secrets—the two became princes of destiny together, destined to fight their way home.

I can't see Xehanort and Eraqus as anything more than students in a fucked up situation. Because when things got bad for Xehanort, he didn't think of Eraqus as his guiding light. He only thought of what he lost. There’s even a line in Dark Road of Xehanort hearing Eraqus crying in the other room, yet he never comforts him, never approaches him. They suffered alone, too afraid or perhaps too blind to reach for one another.

When things got bad for Riku, he saw Sora. He saw how Sora loved Kairi and sacrificed himself for her, and he saw that Sora was forgiving towards him. The reason why Riku and Sora didn't end up like Xehanort and Eraqus is that they simply aren't them. Their bond is deeper and their love is stronger, and Riku’s hope is simply stronger than Xehanort’s ever was.

It’s important to emphasize that this truly is a feat that only Riku (and Sora, one day) could’ve accomplished. It's natural to us that Riku, one of the series' protagonists, was able to do this. It's easy to shrug off the balance he managed to strike between his Light and Darkness, but for so many actually in the series, it's an incomprehensible thought. Mickey even stated in CoM, that Riku introduced Light and Darkness in a way nobody has ever seen before. To understand how this affects Sora and Riku’s relationship, it’s important to understand the way things currently are.

the light we pass down

Light and Darkness are the very core of this series. Light represents the connections you make with others, while Darkness represents the lack thereof—those with Darkness in their hearts are those who walk alone, while those with Light are those with many friends around them. Darkness is selfishness, and Light is selflessness. 

Darkness is usually framed as an inherently evil source in many stories, but it's something that cannot be extinguished. Light needs to be there to balance it. 

But Kingdom Hearts seems to be going down the path less taken—yes, Darkness isn't 'good', and it isn't desirable to isolate yourself from the rest of the world. But the series is asking the question many like to ignore: when does Light become Darkness? 

In nearly every game, you can trace one character fed into the illusion that Light is good, everything else is bad, and the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. MoM to his pupils in Union X; Odin to Baldr in Dark Road; Eraqus to his children in BBS; Yen Sid to Mickey in forbidding him to speak of Aqua; Donald and Goofy to Sora in telling him that their ship runs on happy smiles. It is generational trauma. 

A cycle of hypocrisy has been forced on not only the 'defenders of Light' but 'agents of Darkness.' Xehanort doesn't care who he hurts as long as he can get his own idea of balance in the world, believing his judgment to be supreme to others—despite his initial thoughts in Dark Road, that unless someone's heart is pure Light, how can one know for sure what is right and wrong? To which Eraqus responded that they as Keyblade Wielders held the supreme judgment towards morality. 

Again and again, this cycle of defending what they believe is good and Light repeats, hurting themselves and hurting others, and even Sora is not free of this hypocrisy. While he doesn't go out of his way to hurt others the way Xehanort has, he is capable of hurting others: Riku was hurt by Sora in KH1 when he was silent when Kairi suggested leaving him behind or when he shrugged off Riku going missing in Traverse Town. In CoM, when the idea of him ‘abandoning’ people was presented, he acted out harshly and completely rejected the idea (this is all another parallel to Eraqus!)

He even denies the idea that Riku has hurt others. Despite Riku acting out of his own free will, the reason he feels the need to atone and walk the path to redemption, Sora believes that the Darkness was forced on Riku by others.

Sora has been carved into the same mindset as so many others, the idea heavily tackled in Dark Road, that Darkness is only brought upon by others, and that it needs to be expunged. Sora is a firm believer that the Darkness is something to be eradicated, such as with his encounter with Vanitas in KH3. When Vanitas states that he is simply Darkness, Ven is quick to understand and even accept. Sora, on the other hand, rejects this and insists that it isn’t okay. 

Even our series’ protagonist is unable to shake himself from this self-righteous, black-or-white thinking. Riku is the only character in the series who has formed an actual balance in himself, with all other characters having to pick one side. Lea, Xion, and Roxas leave the Darkness of Organization XIII and become Keyblade Wielders. Terra embraces his Light, Aqua leaves the Realm of Darkness, and Ven is literally separated into a being of Light and Darkness (although not out of his own volition).

The series is not framing any of these things as negative—there’s nothing wrong with embracing Light. However, these characters are falling into the same cycle that the generations before have; they will once again be faced with a Darkness too deep to defeat and ignore. It must be talked to, reckoned with, and faced with open arms. Riku has been the only one able to return the hug and walk away.

We’ve explored what makes Riku’s character arc so significant and what Sora’s flaws are, and it’s time to dive into the murky waters of the future.

when does the sun become the night?

Sora. Oh, Sora. I love you, Sora. Now let me tear you and your smile apart. 

The parallels between Xehanort and Riku are very on the nose and easy to distinguish; meanwhile, Eraqus and Sora are a bit more challenging. 

In BBS, Eraqus is the Master of Aqua, Terra, and Ventus. He forms a bond between them, as one would expect, mentoring and looking out for their well-being. The Light in his heart is strong due to his connections with them, alongside being a Keyblade wielder. Although not perfect (feeding into Terra's insecurities about his Darkness, cough), he does care for them. But when the world falls to Darkness, Eraqus doesn't hesitate to be selfless, to give up his connections, the Light in his heart, to kill them to save a greater good. As long as someone somewhere can benefit from his actions, he isn't harming.

But is that selfless? Is sacrificing for a 'greater good' truly selfless? Is there a line between the needs of the many and the needs of the few? Or is there a certain ‘darkness’ that comes with these acts? Disregarding yourself, disregarding others, selfless yet selfish; it's not the right thing to do, and the series doesn't hesitate to frame it as that. What Eraqus did was wrong. He hurt others, even if he refused to acknowledge it.

And yet, no one seems to make any noise toward Sora. 

Sora is a Guardian of Light. He is the cheerful protagonist who makes everyone smile and feel better. Ever since the first game, when Donald and Goofy (although not with ill intent) told him that the Gummi Ship runs on happy faces, he's been under the precedent that his emotions do not matter in the greater scheme of things. In the long run, what matters is that others are safe, the people he cares about. 

Once again, like how Xehanort and Riku deviated in terms of having hope, this is where Eraqus and Sora begin to deviate from their parallels. While both are selfless to the point of ‘darkness,’ they show it in dramatically different ways. Eraqus is willing to hurt the people he cares about (and by extension, himself) to serve this 'greater good', but Sora is only willing to actively hurt himself. 

I feel the need to remind everyone that this is a teenager we're talking about. If we weren't in a franchise partially owned by Disney, I feel like more people would be willing to call this what it is: suicidal. This is not Light.

We've already seen ways that this harms Sora outside the narrative and the whole getting sent to Quadratum thing in his Rage form. Sora transforms into a drive form that’s oddly reminiscent of his time as a Heartless and can unleash powerful attacks that lower his HP (hmm). Furthermore, this form only appears when his HP is low (double hmm) and stated by Nomura, “based on him going into a rampage state, controlled by feelings of anger (triple hmm).”

Back inside the narrative, the climax of KH3 was Sora believing that he's worthless without his friends, genuinely worthless, and unable to fight at all. This is the very definition of a Light gone too far when remembering that Light is the connections you form with others. With too much Light, Sora lost himself. He couldn't find himself past who he was for others.

In the section prior that broke down generational trauma as it appears in Kingdom Hearts, I mentioned that Sora does not only end up hurting himself but passively hurting others around him, most notably Riku. Sora is unable to understand that Darkness is not the absence of all good but rather the shadow that simply follows you around. Sora cannot understand that Darkness is not something to be shunned, to never talk about. (This could also be tied back to his Rage form—while he does not actively channel his anger to hurt, that is what happens; only to never be acknowledged by him.)

(Off-topic, but I find it funny that Sora, who is so keen on the idea that Darkness is Not Good, was only ever to have a proper conversation with Riku in the Realm of Darkness. It’s very telling to their characters.)

Kingdom Hearts is setting up a narrative that Light and Darkness cannot exist in excess. That Light doesn't exist to balance out the Darkness, to stop it from becoming too strong—you need Darkness to exist as well. 

Sora has gotten this far along the story and still hasn't managed to learn this, because it’s just not something you can learn (or unlearn, rather) on your own. Because this kind of thinking isn’t undone with hours of contemplation; in a fitting Kingdom Hearts fashion, it’s connections that lead to the revelation.

the roads we walk

Xehanort and Eraqus fall out with each other. They stop talking and sever the connection with each other. That was a core reason things got as out of hand as they did for each other; they weren't keeping each other in check. Xehanort's Darkness left him blind and unable to see that there was Light after all, and Eraqus's Light blinded him and left him stumbling with a Keyblade for a 'greater purpose.' Their hearts fell too far to one end of the balance, leaving the scales unbalanced.

Riku and Sora do not have that. They have a connection like nothing seen in this series before—Riku had literally raised Sora to become a Child of Destiny alongside him. The Light of their hearts is just so awe-strikingly bright. 

Sora, however, has lost himself in all his light. He is stuck in the same bright room that Eraqus was, stumbling around with his Keyblade. But where Eraqus was forever lost, Sora can be found: because where Riku had Sora to guide him to the Light, Sora will have Riku to guide him through the Darkness. 

Riku spends the majority of his character simply proving that he is capable of redemption. It takes him the ending of a game to realize the errors in his ways and another game to figure out the solution he must fight for, and these weren't revelations he finds on his own—he found the first with Sora and the second (in CoM) with Mickey and Namine.

For Sora to even have the revelation that he cannot keep shutting out the Darkness in him unless he wants more pain for himself and others, he needs someone to help show him that is an option. And who else but Riku, who is living proof that existence isn’t just black-or-white, Light or Darkness?

Riku is Sora's foil. A foil is a character who either has pronounced differences between themselves and the protagonist or is so alike that a contrast appears. Riku is the ladder, similar enough to Sora that one can begin to make assumptions about where the story is heading. Their similarities aren't hard to find: they both hail from Destiny Islands, they both have a love for adventure, they both were assumed to walk a path of Light for the rest of their lives, and they both care deeply for each other. The contrast begins in KH1 when Riku begins his fall to Darkness while Sora remains firm in his standing.

Riku’s arc ended with acceptance; he needed to accept the Darkness and the Light inside him to find peace. It’s only natural that his foil, struggling with the same imbalance, would go through a similar arc but still different enough to be his own.

It isn't just the story telling us this. Riku has always been associated with imagery of dawn, the breaking of Darkness into Light, and Kairi is always associated with imagery of dusk, the breaking of Light into Darkness (which is a conversation all on its own). Sora, on the other hand, is associated with a large blue sky (his name, after all, does mean sky.) It's not hinting towards a journey of any kind—not a redemption like for Riku.

He is the daylight. He is the Light in everyone's lives. But ‘Sora’ doesn't mean the day sky. It simply means sky. Sky, at day or night—and I don't mind if you call me reaching at this point, but it feels like it's calling out to the fact that Sora needs to accept that he is both Light and Darkness, the way the sky is both day and night. 

Nomura has even stated in an interview before when asked about the two different versions of the Dream Drop Distance illustrations that he “wanted its composition and look to remind [the player] of the title’s catch copy, ‘Darkness becomes light, light falls into darkness.’” The parallel structure of the tagline serves to mirror the parallel structure of Sora and Riku’s paths, Sora’s road to night and Riku’s road to dawn.

But I digress. Exhaustively, it’s very apparent that Sora is heading toward a climax, a Darkness he cannot ignore. His breakdown in KH3 was left unspoken, unresolved, and his disappearance only contributes to the fact that he’s heading toward another breaking point, where the cheerful protagonist can no longer remain cheerful. But like in KH3, something is going to be the same: Riku.

At his lowest point, it was Riku who was next to him, telling Sora that he believed in him. It was Riku who carried on when Sora couldn’t. Riku is going to be key in Sora's journey to night. Riku was able to find his Road to Dawn by remembering Sora. He was able to walk by remembering his love, his passion, his everything, and it was because of Sora that Riku found balance. He found the Light within himself, and he learned to accept that the Darkness would always be a part of him, the way it is for others. 

Sora's arc will be spun into motion because of Riku. The next installments of Kingdom Hearts are setting up that Riku's dreams are the key to finding Sora, implying perhaps that it may be Sora and Riku all alone in a world. Whatever the case, Riku is going to be by Sora's side, as that is where they are at their best, to face Sora’s worst.

And it's fitting. Riku had to go from Darkness, defined as a lack of connections, to a balance with Light, having connections. He went from his isolation, wearing a blindfold and not being able to face anyone, to being the charming Riku we all love, fighting alongside the Keyblade wielders. His journey would have him open up, so he would be joined by memories, ghosts, not by people until he began to embrace others.

Sora will be going from Light to a balance with Darkness. He'd be going from connections to a lack (though not in the same extremes that Riku did), in a sense. Understandably, he can’t do it alone, make such a drastic change; he'd need someone.

This change, this balance, this emphasis on connections, it’s guiding us to what the narrative has been trying to tell us all along.

we can be the darkness, and the light, and the sunsets and sunrises too

When asked about the theme of KH3 and the entire series, Nomura answered, “It’s in the title: hearts. The consistent theme across the whole series is ‘What is a heart?’”

Kingdom Hearts is going to be doing something unprecedented in not only a lot of media but in its world itself. While the idea of Light and Darkness existing within characters is not new, the characters aren't exactly behind that idea. Most of the Keyblade Wielders and Guardians of Light cherish the Light above all else—while all the primary villains worship the Darkness. They fight for a balance but don't fully grasp that within (nearly) all of them lies both entities. 

Riku seems to be more accepted in the world, as he did join the Light in the end. But what Sora would do is... just absolutely bonkers. He will be embracing a Darkness in him, the same kind that Terra and so many others were taught to push out. Sora will be... well, a teenager. Happy and angsty and all the things teens are.

This is where Kingdom Hearts has the chance to seal the deal, to fully welcome this balance of Light and Darkness: a relationship between Riku and Sora. 

For all Guardians of Light, there is a generational trauma hanging over their heads and haunting them, and Sora will need to accept his Darkness to combat it, but the story can't end there. The games have been building up the idea that Sora will be the one to bring change to the world, that Sora will be the one to end this cycle. He won’t just accept his Darkness but lead a new age. He will be the one to show that there's a different way (or really, only one other way) to move forward:

Love. 

Unconditional love. Not love depending on whether they fit the wielders' definitions of Light and Darkness, not love depending on the amount of Light in someone's heart, not love clouded by hypocrisy. Just pure love, forever forgiving and growing.

So who better for Sora’s love than Riku?

Let’s get all the arguments for Kairi out of the way first. Some may say that Kairi could still fulfill this role of spreading love in the next games, but that’s only if her role in the story is completely revamped. She represents friends growing apart as they grow older yet remaining close. While Sora and Riku represent a balance between Light and Darkness, Kairi represents holding a Light close to your heart, even when it's so far away; fitting for her story of being ripped apart from her home.

The games keep pushing the friends' growing apart narrative rather than pulling from it, having Kairi remain with Aqua to train while Riku goes after Sora. There is little space for Kairi to suddenly walk a road to dusk that leads to romance. Especially because it’s Sora and Riku who are the Children of Destiny, they are the ones who will connect to other hearts and bring change, not Kairi. Her lesson would be for herself, not for the world to see. 

A relationship between Kairi and Sora would just be backtracking on this message. Sora needs to accept his Darkness, but joining forces with a Princess of Light does not challenge any norms, it does not provide a new answer. It makes sense because the core of Kingdom Hearts isn’t a Prince and Princess of Light—it’s two boys who saw the night sky fall one day, two boys who grew up together, two boys destined for something greater who write their own paths anyway. It’s Sora and Riku. Nomura himself has stated that “Sora and Riku represent the theme of the Kingdom Hearts series, which is the ‘light and dark sides of the heart,’” the essence of this essay. 

Carrying on, some may stop me here and say that their love doesn't need to be romantic for a point to be made. But I argue that there is no other way.

Romantic love in stories often serves as the culmination of the story’s themes. In Leigh Bardugo's books, her romances serve to show the importance of love and healing. In the Shadow & Bone trilogy, Alina has the options between the Darkling, representing power, Nikolai, representing nationalism, and Mal, representing love. Just love. Not one befitting of a Saint, someone to change the world, but that’s not who Alina wanted to be; she just wanted a happy ending. Shockingly, she picks Mal. In Six of Crows, Kaz and Inej's romance, both traumatized teenagers, serves to show that you can heal and you can love. They're both scared of people, scared of intimacy and yet they still love with all their scars on display.

In Revolutionary Girl Utena, the romance between Utena and Anthy reaches its climax at the end of the show, displaying the vulnerability of both girls and the rawness of their feelings. But most importantly, it drives home the message: that the power to bring revolution is not the power of a prince or a witch. The power to change the world is love. The only way to change the world to be suitable to live in is through love. The power, a revolution, brought by love.

Romance is a revolution. It’s often saved for the last act of stories because of how it acts as a thread between all of the themes. In Kingdom Hearts, the theme needing weaving is balance: balance between yourself and others, balance between selflessness and selfishness, balance between Light and Darkness. Sora and Riku getting together would be Yin and Yang—a boy who had to accept his Darkness and a boy who had to fight for his Light. They complement each other and fill where the other lacks. 

Likewise, a relationship between them stresses the importance of connections. Tai Yasue, co-director of the series, has stated that “the theme of the KH series is ‘connections of the heart,’” and the narrative will take advantage of any opportunity to let that theme shine. Previously, many defenders of Light would sacrifice their connections with others for a greater good. But Sora and Riku choosing to love each other, choosing to love the Light and Darkness in each other instead of trying to chase away their Darkness, is showing that love is their other option. 

Sora getting with Kairi challenges nothing. It tells the others that Light must be with Light, that good must be with good. Even their grand attack in Re:Mind is two giant angel wings where they proclaim, “Light!” Sora and Riku, however, show that Light does not mean good. It shows that people can do bad things, and it doesn't make them bad, because people are not black and white. Like two kingdoms forever at war with each other, finally coming together and realizing that the other side is human and that you can't simply demonize them.

Sora and Kairi say there is nothing wrong with the world. To carry on. Sora and Riku say that there isn’t anything wrong with the world; it’s the people looking the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with what’s around us. Nothing wrong, nothing right. “Nothing is whole, and nothing is broken.” It’s simply being: being Darkness, being Light, being both, being neither.

It has to be Sora and Riku. It's always had to be them. Riku brought Sora up to the status of a Child of Destiny, and their journeys were led by each other, their character development taught by one another, and their acceptance will come from (an eventual) conversation between the two about their pain and hurt and Darkness, it’s all always been leading here. To this moment in time where they show the world all the hurt they hold and how they carry on with.

All of that, and loving each other? 

They are crossing the line, as Hikaru Utada sings in Don't Think Twice. They are going to be crossing every line established in Kingdom Hearts, and this is their power. Their revolution. Their predetermined yet self-made destiny. The payoff for years and years of searching and yearning and pining and chasing is a love that brings revolution, and oh...isn't that just romantic? 

That is the answer to “What is a heart?” The heart is the love you have, despite it all. The heart is the connections you make, despite it all. The heart is your Darkness and your Light and your experiences and your fights, despite it all. The heart is Sora and Riku, despite it all.

grant us the power to bring the world revolution

A lot of this analysis really depends on whether or not you believe Sora and Riku are in love with one another, I realize. You may agree with me that it seems fitting that their coming together as a pair would catalyze all the themes in Kingdom Hearts, but you disagree that it means they'd ever be a pairing. Which, I'd like to thank you for at least hearing me out. 

The queerness of their relationship means there will always be naysayers to them getting together, there will always be people claiming that I'm reaching. I do not care if you see them as brothers or ‘just’ really good friends. I see a love story. I see a love story and a love story saying to love, above all else. Do not judge others for you don't know what is wrong or right, for you are biased, for you are flawed, for you are human. Love others for that is the heart's will. Love.

I see that their getting together would be a testament to that love. To that forgiveness, to those flaws we have. It would be an acceptance of Riku's pain and Darkness that he mysteriously doesn't want to acknowledge, it would be an acceptance of Sora's pain that he's been bottling up ever since the beginning of his journey, and it would be an acceptance to the Light they both share. It would be the balance that so many generations have looked for and couldn't find because they did not practice acceptance, only judgment. 

Sora and Riku getting together is acceptance and it's proof that love is the answer to a generational trauma that has been around ever since the beginning of time. So yeah: Soriku Endgame, Actually. 

Thank you so much for reading! I’m a really big fan of stories about light and darkness and the balance between them, stories about love, and just Kingdom Hearts in general. I didn’t want to keep these thoughts in the back of my head and I’m glad I wrote them all out, even if it’s messy (and a shocking 6k words long...) Kingdom Hearts is a bit messy, after all.

If you're interested in more about Sora and Riku's relationship or just literary analysis of KH in general, please check out Constructing Kingdoms on YouTube, as it helped give me the words to write a lot of this essay. Further, if you're in total denial that there is any queer text in Kingdom Hearts, please check out this amazing video essay on Riku being gay. 

That's all I have. Please feel free to share if you have any disagreements or if any parts really spoke to you, or if you have anything to add, or anything really. These two live rent-free in my mind, and I don't mind talking about them or about how they're just so perfect to change the world.

Thank you. Spread love (and the Soriku agenda.)