#as for writing melodies and harmonies someone else is gonna have to do that cause i ain't know shit abt music theory | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

worldsover · 4 years

Text

Dal Segno ft. Chuu

length ✦ 3570

genres ✧ music making; oral fixation; facefuck; subby!Chuu

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Composition is only fifty percent of the process, you've heard, but it's closer to ten for you. For the importance of a solid melody and chord progression with the right instruments and singer, a song becomes less than the sum of its parts with bad mixing because all that effort goes to waste when you can’t hear something, or when something is too loud, or when a certain je ne sais quoi is wrong. But you do know. You don't have to be a chef to be a food critic but it certainly helps. Avoid muddling the lows as it waters down the soup. Carve space in the highs to prevent too much salt from killing the taste buds. Have at most five sounds at a time or else the flavors clash. Focus on these basic techniques to guide you as repetition wears down your mind. Funny. Repetition legitimizes especially in music yet here you are fatigued by repetition as though you weren't down four cups of black coffee. Repetition legitimizes. “From the sign,” the translation reads. Notation, simply instructing a musician to return to a certain point in a piece. You recognize it as an intro song you wrote years ago.

Glass and foam separate the undersized room. Cheap ramen and dampness in the hot air contribute to the odor. You would keep the fan on, if it were worth the extra time filtering out faint noise from recordings. The only scent that keeps you sane is a slight strawberry flavor lingering in the room. Jiwoo. Your muse. A large clock holds both of its hands near one with the lack of natural light muddling whether it’s AM or PM. Studios were always underground man-caves whether they were discount rooms or the signature workspace of the biggest producers. Here you are in the former. Look down at the Macbook and all the wires, sliders, and knobs. Deep breath. “Take 63,” you say into the cheap control room microphone.

“Not good enough.”

“Again.”

“One more.”

Look up. Jiwoo sucks on a grape lollipop. You stare. Watching her fixated on getting all flavor out of the purple sweet derails your flow state. See, work had a rhythm. Listen, volume up, hotkey to copy this clip, volume down. The obvious innuendo sends you offbeat. That perky butt bending over to get a notebook filled with lyrics entrenches the folds of your brain. She didn’t have to wear that skirt. You’ve seen that skirt already and you wish she weren’t wearing it. Oh, you really wish she weren’t wearing that skirt. Guilt sets in. You’re a trusted coworker, she, a naive girl. It takes a while to find your groove again. Your stare has yet to cease until she finally returns the eye contact with candy still in mouth. Her pink tongue laps to secure all the sugar and red pillows engulf the ever-shrinking circle. Pop. Anyone else and it would be calculated action.

“Oppa." Her voice resounds in your monitor headphones. "I don’t know if these harmonies really make sense. Why did you write the second voice to cross down below the main line? Plus it goes so low."

“To be fair, you wrote both of those melodies and you said you wanted them in the same song. Tell me anywhere else they’d work.”

“Ugh, let’s figure this out later. Next song.“

Dozens of takes later and Jiwoo’s frustration causes her to make mistakes. Sometimes she even tries to start singing with the sucker in her mouth. For the character she plays, you know she’s a professional and that she can be better. Yet hours later, she still could not get the vocal runs right. Incomplete songs bloat your project folder: "Jiwoo - Mania", "Jiwoo - Look Closer", "Jiwoo - Untitled Idea 21". Just a small side project that the company approved during another ample period of break time between comebacks. That’s why the director didn’t even let you use the company’s facilities, instead opting to rent out this cheap closet of a studio. At least no one would be mad about the amount of time you spent recording together.

You shift seats from the leather office chair to the white lovechair, the only two pieces of furniture that fit comfortably in the room. Jiwoo follows suit and leaves the recording booth, really more of a phone booth in square footage, while she huffs and puffs on her candy.

“I’m tired, oppa,” she says.

“Me too, Jiwoo. May I remind you that I’m not getting paid extra for this. Are you gonna focus or what?” your voice just a few cents down, just a bit harsher.

“I, I’m sorry.” A lick anyway. Her meek tone disappears, “Ya! You know how good your royalties are gonna be. Sole producer and all that. Plus, here you are still doing all this work for me." Why were you working so hard on this? "You know, if you just taught me how to use Ableton-”

“Then I’d be out of a job.”

Jiwoo frowns, “Wow, selfish much? You could’ve joined me as a trainee.”

“Nah, no way. Fish dance better.”

“Shut up, oppa. You would’ve easily made it with your, um, musical talent.” She clamps down on the lollipop with her mouth.

“You good? What was that?”

“Let’s," she stands promptly, "get back to recording.”

Crack. Jiwoo bites down on the lollipop and throws the stick in the trash. In ten minutes, she nails the verse she spent hours trying to get right. It'd be really nice to know what catalyzed that rally. You'd ask but driving Jiwoo back to her dorm is quiet as usual.

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Make a good impression on someone, anyone, on your first day as a mixing engineer. That’s why you returned to the Blockberry Creative building with an extra bar of Melona in hand. A simple bribery. Light beamed down between two skyscrapers on a short girl with long hair and strands of bangs adorning her forehead. She stood outside the lobby, introducing herself to every passerby. You had to pinch her cheeks, the intrusive thought screamed.

She scurried up to you. “Hi! I’m Kim Jiwoo and I’m going to become an idol!”

Ah, a trainee. You already knew she was destined to become one. Well, not literally, you weren’t in charge of that. But her overflowing charm was impossible to ignore. You had to tease her though, “Are you sure?”

“Hey! What would you know about that, mister?” she said.

You bit down on your mango. “Mister? First of all, I’m only a high school senior,” her lips rounded in surprise, “And second, I’m your new audio guy, and I know for a fact they’re debuting you girls in order of talent.”

“Woooow. Well, I’ll have you know, I have a great voice!” She certainly spoke lyrically. “Wait a minute, I didn’t know they hired people that young.” You pointed at her. “Okay, I’m in high school too. But that’s different, idols start this age.”

“I guess. I’ve been making music ever since I was a kid, and they liked what I had,” you said and Jiwoo nodded in understanding.

She fluttered her eyebrows. “Sooo, is that mango ice cream for me? Oppa?” A little surprised she already called you that, but it sounded right.

“No, I have this unopened strawberry-” Jiwoo snatched the half-eaten cold treat from your hand, and started licking it. Trouble she would be.

You spent many recording sessions together, alone after all the other members left. She cozied up to you because her little musical snippets had to become full-fledged tracks and you helped her out every time.

Something changed over the years however. Your interactions became colder. It felt like you were the only one who she would respond to in a deeper voice. Jiwoo wouldn't pepper you with silly acts or mess around. Maybe she took you more seriously which is how you managed to make more songs together regardless. Then, you stood idly by and watched her debut. Who didn't love her? But when she was with you, you missed the playfulness, the ice cream and her riffing over your playful guitar strums. It turned less of a hobby and more of a job though you never regretted any second with Jiwoo regardless.

Under the Earth's largest natural satellite, you shared a simple meal in black bean noodles. She was still in her hippie outfit from the comeback, and you handed her your jacket since it was cold. You realized, there was something else there that you were too inexperienced to notice. Your bodies' radiation replace the chill in the air, a bubble with just the two of you eating on the grass in a park near your dorm. A cliche slurping on one noodle and Jiwoo pulled away. In embarrassment, like a damn anime character, she hiccuped. Good thing you didn't close your eyes when you leaned in.

“Wanna make an album together?” Jiwoo says.

“Sure.”

You threw away the noodles’ package and escorted her home. That was all you expected anyway. Fine.

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“That’s enough!”

Three goddamn weeks. It's been three goddamn weeks and you've barely made any progress.

Barge into the booth, slam the door shut and raise your tone, just below a shout, “I've had it up to here! You know how many of my songs have been mashed together in some unholy quest for your perfection? Just one unknown something is missing and either you start complaining or we move on to the next."

She backs up from the mic to the insulated wall but you continue, paying no heed to her, as you spout your piece to the artificially cold air, "You know how much time I’ve spent outside working on these songs? These are songs I’ve saved up over years. And you trash them like they’re nothing. How do you even manage to record LOONA tracks?”

Regret sinks in. This was your passion project as much as hers. Was it frustration from the recordings? Weeks of the same routine and it took until now for you to give in to your temper.

"It wouldn't even be that bad! If you could just one time, you could be cute or cheerful again with me, or,” Fuck. So stupid. You don’t have to take your friendships for granted like this. You’re lucky enough she treats you as much. “Hold on. Wait, I'm-"

Examine her face. It’s not sour and she hasn’t stormed out or even slapped you.

“No, no. You don’t have to say it. I’m. I’m sorry oppa.” She looks down. “I'm the one messing up after all." Her heartbeat a harsh snare drum. "And you. You're. Different. Looking at you always made me feel some, something funny. Not funny but? Ugh. I wish I could explain it.”

You hold in your confusion.

She blabbers on, “Like, are. Are you mad? I promise you, I,” A nervous breath, ”I like you. Okay?"

Your confusion grows like the length of your silence.

"I’m just acting how I really am with you. Do you want to maybe, I don't know, like," her voice decrescendos, "Um. Punish me?”

Your heart, your brain are deprived of blood as it all rushes down. Did you hear that right? Not an apology, not retribution, but a call to punishment? Misinterpreting her, the consequences would be dire but that damned demure tone for such an erotic request. Was Jiwoo the exact type of slut constructed in your mind? The one that made you feel sinful for even imagining. No, no, there's no way.

Too late. Jiwoo must have noticed the absurd bulge now. It had to be these Adidas pants today. Fuck it. Life can’t be lived fully without risk. Hopefully, the same switch turned in her mind. You remove all ire from your face and say in earnest, “Do you like games?"

She lights up a little. You sigh relieved.

"Let’s try…”, you say, ”Strip recording.” She lights up a little more, so you go on, ”If I mess up anything, the mix, the composition, the arrangement, I’ll take off a piece of clothing. Your choice. And every time you mess up-”

Jiwoo unbuttons her denim shorts and brings them down her tight legs.

“D- did I say now?”

However, with her resolve steeled, she continues pulling them. "So what? I did mess up, right?" she says coquettish. Deliberate the turn she makes when she bows down to remove the shorts from her legs, Jiwoo reveals a hint of her innie pussy on that same little ass that ran through your mind earlier. A small trace of her thighs glistens, the only thing reflecting the single lightbulb’s glow in the microphone’s abode. She turns back to face you. "Please. Punish me."

Step closer until Jiwoo backs up to the soundproofing. She’s an eighth note away from your face, flashing her beady eyes and a coy smile, ”Where's your underwear?" A little drop spills out onto the floor, "And why are you so wet, Jiwoo-ah?”

Red on her cheeks, like she only now realized her dishevelment in front of you. “You just… Something about you snapping at me. I don’t get it either. I knew you'd do it, some day, I wanted you to," she mumbles in her best efforts to answer you.

“Have you ever worn underwear to the recordings?”

Those efforts continue to fail.

"Oh, Kim Jiwoo. What do I do with you?" One of your hands grabs her cheek. The other crawls down her back to grab her cheek.

“Oppa… Do I have to say it?”

“I want to hear every." Smack. "Word." Smack. She slips a moan.

“Can you," she says, "can you use my mouth?”

You disguise your long pause as thought, teasing the bare skin of her ass with your exploratory fingers to bide time, but it's an expression of your shock. The interruption helps you come up with a more suitable punishment however.

“How about this then. Every time you mess up, you have to give me a blowjob. Call?”

“Call!” Once more, unprompted, she kneels down in front of you and claws away your track pants. You roll with the punches.

"Oppaa," with an pronounced pop and in a sing-songy rhythm, "I've always wanted to know, if your dick-" It certainly didn't need Jiwoo's dainty hands pulling on your boxers, as it would've sprang out on its own with how like diamond your cock is getting.

"Fuuuck," the first profanity you ever hear her utter, she lilts. "Please. Oppa. Fuck my face?"

After all she said, she could still surprise you. Bring your hips forward and just as you would've her pussy, tease Jiwoo’s lips with the head of your dick. She parts them open, starved, anxious.

Hold her by the chin. "Wait."

She freezes at the command. Again, like foreplay, rub her lips with that head making them turn redder and more plump. You sweep aside her bangs to see her begging eyes. More importantly, slide your dick up to her nude forehead to slap as a first act of retribution. “A-ah!” Jiwoo stutters as you slap her face with your manhood again and again. Bring your cock back down and she's already a mess without you even having entered her mouth. A little drool from her shut lips gently massages your balls while a bit of precum drools from your slit to meet those lips.

Jiwoo mumbles as best as she can with you holding her jaw shut and your dick on her lips, "Please. Please. Shove your dick in me. I need you in my mouth."

You squint your rough eyes to command her.

Muffled still, "Oppa. Please. I. I need to taste you. You just, you're so thick and you're so long and cock is perfect and please I just-" Loosen the grip on her chin to let her envelop the entire tip with her warm lips. "Mmmmm..." the moan resonates a saw wave and your stern resolve fades away on your first entrance into her face but it returns as her teeth rub against you. She quickly readjusts her jaw but it takes multiple attempts of you pulling out and her sucking you back until only silken lips hold your cock's head. Finally. A focused glint in her eyes. She endeavours to keep your tip in her mouth as long as possible.

You were mad at her earlier, weren't you?

Recall this anger and press yourself into her with all your hips' strength, working against the force of her lip's airtight suction. Saliva leaks to betray the seal. Jiwoo's prying tongue explores the underside of your cock but you reach an impasse while she's not even halfway down the shaft. You shove your dick deeper but to no avail and tears roll down her eyes joining the fluids coating her lips. Thus you exit back out. And back in you go to repeat and repeat and slowly increase your rate, becoming rough sex with her diligent mouth. All the positions you’ve imagined fucking her little pussy, you picture using her throat instead. Even in this compact studio, the couch, chair and desk would provide ample support for you to use her in many ways. The dirty thoughts inspire your speed right now. She slurps and gulps at every quick plunge but you realize her moans and rumbles aren't just incoherent reactions. You decelerate.

“Ah, ahhh, ahhhhhh… Ah’ve ahways- Hmph.” She slurs as she tries her hardest to communicate while her airway is blocked.

She slides up your cock to catch some air, “Thought about it- Mmm.”

“Your dick in my mouth and it’s just so pew, fect- Ahhh.” Jiwoo's lips let go gently then her tongue sticks out to lick up your cock and she shows off a trail of spit leading to your tip. A less patient man would’ve jerked himself off right there to grant her eyes and open mouth's unison request to feed on your cum.

Instead you retort, “You think you’ve earned it? Not even halfway down. Going nowhere, just like our recording sessions, huh?”

“Shut up!”

“Oof.” You’re already weak in the knees so Jiwoo's one handed shove sends your tailbone to the floor. Since you’re still dazed by her confounding strength, she takes initiative and kowtows her head into your lap to crawl down your cock with her tiny lips. Fondling your balls, Jiwoo starts from the furthest point she could muster on your shaft up to your cock head. Her tongue follows back and she starts playing under your tip to swirl that tongue around the most sensitive parts until it explores your slit. You buckle and groan. Jiwoo sucks and spits and sucks while she circles only the most minimal twisting motion of her lips on your head. This is the Jiwoo you know. Relentless. Only now your load is her magnus opus.

Her right hand strays downwards and her face on your dick blocks a full view but you can tell that hand is working as intensely as her mouth. As she strokes herself with more vigor, she starts humming a satisfied melody on your tip. In kind, your subtle grunts turn into full-bodied moans. You're a single measure away from your coda so you reach down and pull her off your cock by grabbing her neck.

You glare into her. “Desperate little girl, aren't you?”

Her breath is stilted and she's nearly shaking. “Please…” she sobs, ”You, you want it as bad as I do right?” Of course. “Won't you just cum for me?” Not now. Not when you have putty in your hands.

“You're making a mess. You can't take me all the way down. And I see that it’s not just your saliva coating the floor.” Point to the spot where she kneels, her drool joins a stain growing ever larger with a strand of juice from her pussy flowing as you continue to berate her. Then you point to her hand. Ha. “Were you playing with yourself using my pencil?”

“No… Wait!”

You back off. “Your top’s a mess too. Anyone can tell I just fucked your face.” You take off your black hoodie and give it to her. “I’ll see you tomorrow for our next session.”

“Wait, we didn’t book tomorrow, did we? Also, you can’t just leave me like this! Oppa!”

"I said, I'll see you tomorrow. I have to go,“ you remind her, ”Ha Rin’s picking you up. And give me back that pencil.”

She hands it to you, unable to meet your eyes despite hers lusting over your cock. You'll definitely use the alluring musk on it for later to save you from your self-induced blue balls. Exit the booth. Of course she barely waits to use your hoodie the same way since she doesn’t notice you lingering in the room. Instead of hiding the grey long sleeve that soaks her neck, your used sweatshirt covers Jiwoo’s face as her fingers make the mess on the floor larger.

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AFF, AO3

Swear to god I’m not just writing the cutest idols to write for. I mean maybe I am but also this answer from @nsfwtwicecatcher and all the subsequent pictures that I found of Chuu pouting inspired me. Also, this was a longer piece but I kept spinning my tires on it and decided to split it up, so look out for more.

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Fermata, the aforementioned sequel

#kpop smut #loona smut #male reader #reader insert #title tracks

307 notes · View notes

dream-a-little-bigger-x · 3 years

Text

Parallels | Chapter 14

Add yourself to my taglist! | Here’s my masterlist! | Parallels Masterlist

Characters: OC! Violet Grace Dawson, Luke Patterson, Julie Molina, Carrie Wilson, Bobby Wilson, Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer, Flynn nolastname, Willie nolastname, Nick Danforth-Evans, Dirty Candy

Guideline: Sunset Universe is the universe in which Sunset Curve is famous and Violet is friends with Carrie, Julie and Flynn. Candy Universe is the universe in which Dirty Candy is more famous and Sunset Curve has broken up.

Song(s) used: Somebody - Lemonade Mouth / Finally Free - Julie and the Phantoms

Warnings: The reunion of the Pattersons...

Words: 6,591

Marcus had been droning on about his day at work on the way back to Violet’s place but she hadn’t heard a word of it. Even in her room, he was still going on and on about his day while Violet zoned out. She’d been all up in her own mind, thinking about Luke and his story. Right now, she was adamant that this had to be her unfinished business. Not getting Luke to fall in love with her or get him to stop being an asshole, but having him make amends with his parents, especially his mom.

“So then this older lady comes in between us and –”

Violet cut Marcus’ story short, “Do you think you can help me write a song?”

The boy shut his mouth as he looked at the girl in front of him with confusion written in his eyes. “Did you listen to a word I said?” he asked and moved to her bed where she was sitting.

“I’m sorry, Marcus.” She squeezed her eyes shut as she realized that he had been talking the entire time and she hadn’t heard a word of it. “Today’s just been so intense and I’ve been all up in my own head, I’m sorry.”

Marcus grimaced before opening his arms and pulling her to his chest. “What’s happened?” His fingers soothingly traced up and down her arm, leaving a burning sensation in their wake.

Violet inhaled deeply, unsure of how honest she should be. “Luke had been avoiding me for some reason and when I talked to him, it turned out he had run out on his parents years ago because they didn’t support the dream he was pursuing. He had written his mom a song which he showed me and the girls and it was just – intense, you know?”

Marcus hummed and pressed a kiss to Violet’s head. “And now you wanna write a song?”

“Yeah, because Luke’s been so open to me about everything… I wanna do the same for him, you know?”

Marcus carefully pushed Violet off him and crawled off the bed to grab the acoustic guitar that resided in the corner of the room before returning to the bed and settling onto the very end of it with the guitar in his lap. “Got any ideas?” he asked and started strumming the guitar.

Violet smiled. This boy would go all the lengths for her. Even writing a song for someone else was something he’d do with a charming smile plastered on his face and love in his heart. It was going to break her, having to say goodbye to him.

After trying multiple melodies and rhythms and lyrics, the two of them finally managed to figure out the right composition for this song. Their voices sounded sweet like honey as they blended together into a perfect harmony.

“Oh, we're gonna let it show We're gonna just let go of everything Holding back our dreams And try to make it come alive Come on let it shine so they can see We were meant to be Somebody”

They stopped singing and Marcus stopped strumming his guitar. Their eyes lingered on each other for a moment whilst smiles were plastered on their faces. The smiles were tender and filled with admiration for each other.

“You are an amazing songwriter,” Marcus complimented as he leaned forward to place the guitar safely on the floor. Violet’s chest was aflame. The movement caused a whiff of his cologne to fill up her nostrils and ever since hooking up with him, it had become one of her favorite scents in the world.

As Marcus sat up again and before he could say anything else, Violet had already launched herself into his arms to hungrily and lustfully kiss his soft, plump lips. It startled the boy at first, but he quickly melted into it and pressed her closer to him until she was sitting in his lap. Their bodies were flush against each other, skin burning in the wake of each touch. Violet craved him. She craved his body and his kiss. She craved Marcus Baker.

It was moments like this when she realized that Luke didn’t play a vital role in her life. He was just a friend that she kissed once. He was nothing more than that. While Marcus was someone she wanted to be with for a lot longer than she’d like to admit. He wasn’t just a part of her plan into getting Luke to fall in love with her or make him pay for what he had done. Marcus was Marcus, and he was more than just a pon.

But then reality hit and the crushing sadness of not being able to stay here for forever with Marcus rushed back in. All of this was just temporary. A temporary fix. A temporary love that won’t last forever.

“Are we ready to rock and roooolll?!” Reggie called out enthusiastically when he entered the rehearsal space where Violet and Julie already were with Alex.

Violet snickered at the boy’s excitement. “Someone’s chipper this morning,” she said.

The bassist looked the girl up and down, the smile on his face fading into a worried frown. “You look like you haven’t slept at all… What were you up to so late last night?”

Reggie knew his friends like the back of his hand. Even Violet, who wasn’t who she said she was, but he didn’t know that just yet. He thought he was starting to know this girl properly, all while she was keeping this big secret. It was going to crush him and their friendship when he did find out.

“I spent last night with Marcus,” Violet answered when in the corner of her eye, she noticed some movement coming from the door. Turning her head, her eyes landed on Luke, Bobby and Carrie. They had just entered the rehearsal space when Violet had mentioned her new boyfriend, which wasn’t a name Luke wanted to hear, judging from the look on his face just then.

“Oooh!” Alex, Julie and Reggie cooed, wiggling their eyebrows suggestively.

Violet rolled her eyes at them when she focused back on that part of the group. “He helped me write a song,” she said with a small smile tugging at her lips. “You wanna hear?”

“Obviously,” Julie responded with a playful roll of the eyes before she went to sit down on the sofa the boys had placed in their rehearsal room. Carrie joined her while the boys took their instruments.

Violet herself sat down behind the keyboard, Bobby taking the spot beside her to take over like they had done with every other song they had sung together.

“I wrote this one for you, Luke,” Violet confessed. Her heart was going a million miles an hour and she couldn’t seem to slow it down. Especially when those big, beautiful eyes looked right into hers. “You were so open with me when you sang your song for your mom, that I felt I had to return the favor… So…”

“Let’s hear it!” Alex encouraged her with the excitement of a five-year-old on Christmas.

Violet smiled, heaved in a deep breath and then placed her shaky fingers on the keys. A gorgeous melody floated out of the instrument and into the room. Smiles found their way to each and every face in that room, except for one. Luke. While Bobby took over from Violet on the piano and mimicked the melody she had been holding for a good few seconds, Luke stared at her with a panicked frown while she moved about the room where Reggie and Alex had picked up their instruments and joined in on the song.

“Can you see me? 'Cause I'm right here Can you listen? 'Cause I've been trying to make you notice What it would mean to me To feel like somebody We've been on our way to nowhere Tryin' so hard to get there”

Violet smiled as Luke, too, picked up his guitar and started strumming the instrument. Focusing her words on him as she sang, Luke moved around a little until he was in his usual spot where his microphone stood at the ready.

“And I say, oh We're gonna let it show We're gonna just let go of everything Holding back our dreams And try to make it come alive Come on let it shine so they can see We were meant to be”

Smiling from ear to ear, Luke decided to echo Violet’s words on the post-chorus, adding a new volume to the song.

“Somebody (somebody) Somebody, yeah (somebody)”

“Somehow Someday Someway Somebody”

It was almost as though everyone else in the room had disappeared and it was just Violet and Luke in there, singing together. Just like that time in the recording booth. It felt like magic. They felt like magic.

“I'm so tired Of being invisible But I feel it, yeah Like a fire below the surface Trying to set me free Burnin' inside of me 'Cause we're standing on the edge now It's a long way down”

Snapping herself out of this daydream, Violet turned to Alex. The drummer shot her a knowing look, but she decided to ignore it and turn to Reggie instead. He was ready to rock out with her on the chorus.

“But I say Oh, we're gonna let it show We're gonna just let go of everything Holding back our dreams And try to make it come alive Come on let it shine so they can see We were meant to be”

For the post-chorus, Violet moved to Bobby, giving him some attention too during the song. He, along with the other boys, now sang along as they started to know the words by heart.

“Somebody (somebody) Somebody, yeah (somebody)”

“Somehow Someday Someway Somebody”

Before Violet could even open her mouth to sing the bridge, another voice chimed in instead. Luke was improvising his way through the bridge, but it sounded great. It sounded even better than what she had come up with with

“We will walk out of this darkness Feel the spotlight glowing like a yellow sun Oh oh oh oh oh”

Violet moved over to Luke and extended her microphone towards him. Sharing the mic, the two of them sang the rest of the bridge together as though they had known the song all their lives. It was just something about the way Luke looked at her that she knew what she had to sing. It was like she could feel what he wanted her to sing.

“And when we fall we fall together Till we get back up and we will rise as one, oh, oh ,oh”

The boys lapsed back into the chorus while Violet hit the high notes and ad libbed her way through the very last bit of the song. Their voices blended together perfectly. Almost like they had been doing this together for years.

“Oh, we're gonna let it show We're gonna just let go of everything Holding back our dreams And try to make it come alive Come on let it shine so they can see We were meant to be”

“Somebody (somebody) Somebody, yeah (somebody)”

“Somehow Someday Someway Somebody Somebody Ooh ohh oh”

The two girls on the sofa burst out into applause while Luke and Violet drowned in each other’s eyes. She vividly remembered the kiss they had shared and how it made her feel. The image was imprinted in her brain so vividly, she felt the urge to do it again. But she didn’t and instead, turned to Carrie as her voice echoed through the studio.

“That was an amazing song, Vi!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her best friend.

She could almost intercept the blush from spreading to her cheeks. “Thanks… I have Marcus to thank, though. I wouldn’t have been able to write it without him.” That made Luke turn cold all of a sudden. He broke eye contact and his shoulders tensed.

“It’s a great song,” he mumbled before turning around to place his guitar back in its spot.

“It’s yours if you want it? Play it during your gigs?”

Luke smiled at her and she warmed up from the inside. “Why? What’s in it for you?”

“You can have it on one condition,” she added, her smile turning into a cautious smirk. Luke tilted his head, showing he was all ears. “You have to go talk to your mother…”

“Got any plans today?” the dm read.

Violet’s heart nearly jumped out of her chest when she spotted his name at the top of her screen. Luke Patterson had sent her a message. That was something that hadn’t happened before.

“None at all…”

As she pressed ‘send’, Violet squeezed her eyes shut before feverishly starting to type another text.

“Does that make me sound pathetic and lame?”

Her eyes focused on the dots on her screen, the anxiety rising within her. He must think she was the biggest loser on this planet. A girl with no plans, whatsoever in the middle of the summer.

“I could never think you’re pathetic or lame,” Violet’s stomach fluttered at the message but stilled when the dots reappeared. “Does that make me sound pathetic and lame?”

“Just a little,” she replied, but quickly typed another message before she could hurt his feelings. “JK, of course not :)”

Violet dropped her phone on her chest as she fell back on her bed. While her eyes peered at the off-white ceiling, her mind started racing and her heart sped up. Her crush on the boy was definitely back, but in a different intensity. And this time, she felt as though he reciprocated those feelings. Like she actually stood a chance with him.

Her phone buzzed on her ribcage, causing her to snap up and reach for it, holding it over her face as she read the message.

“Wanna come over and write together?”

A squeal erupted from her throat. Luke actually wanted to hang out with her. He wanted to spend some time with her. Alone. Just the two of them. Something about this felt like a dream or a prank they were pulling on her. But then again, there was no reason for him to prank her. Besides her rejecting him but that was water under the bridge, right?

Especially after the other night on Bobby’s car.

“Sure! Send me your address and I’ll be there in an hour?”

Violet’s eyes focused on the screen as Luke typed his reply. “I’d rather you come now…”

Her heart skipped a few beats, making her wonder how she was even still alive.

The next text that came through was his address, so, as quickly as she could, she started to get ready. After putting on a few different outfits before landing on a skater dress with a white tee underneath and some sneakers, putting her hair into a pony and doing her natural make-up look she always did, she made her way over to Luke’s.

The Pattersons lived a few blocks away from Violet’s. She had almost forgotten they lived there as the Luke in her universe now lived in Beverly Hills with the boys, if they were home, that is.

The quaint bungalow-style home sat in a remote location in Los Feliz. It was surrounded with trees and bushes. The winding road to the front door meandered through patches of grass. Something told Violet that she’d feel at home here. It looked the part. Homely and secure. It was a nice change from the big house her mother now lived in with her new partner.

“Hi,” Luke greeted as he opened the front door. He stepped aside and let Violet in before shutting the door behind her. The girl waited for him to guide her through the house, which he did. Very quickly. He didn’t stop to let her take everything in and instead, led her to the very back of the house where his bedroom was.

“My parents are home, so I hope you don’t mind working in my room,” he mentioned before plopping down on his freshly made bed. He had cleaned his room, Violet could tell. There was no way Luke would ever be this neat a person.

As Violet’s eyes took their time looking around the room, she noticed a few things. The first thing was the abundance of posters that adorned his walls. From Green Day to My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy. All rock bands. All undoubtedly inspirational points for the young musician. Then, she noticed the multitude of guitars. An acoustic and two electric guitars sat in the corner of his room while he had a second acoustic one on his lap. The last thing she noticed was the picture on his desk. It was one of him and his parents. All three of them had wide smiles on their faces, his parents on either side of him with arms wrapped around each other. It warmed Violet’s heart knowing Luke had a great bond with his parents in this universe. That wasn’t the case in her universe.

“I had an idea for a melody,” Luke then said, snapping Violet out of her train of thought. She turned around and headed towards his bed where she sat down next to him whilst a fun melody floated through his guitar.

“Been so long and now we’re finally free,” Violet sang the line that had been pestering her for about a week. Luke’s head snapped up at this and he shot her the most excited smile she had ever seen. It caused her stomach to flutter once again.

From that moment on out, the two of them wrote an entire song in one sitting. It was like it poured all out of them at once. Like they had it bottled up in their minds and everything spilled out in that one moment.

“I got a spark in me Hands up if you can see And you're a part of me Hands up if you're with me Now 'til eternity Hands up if you believe Been so long, and now we're finally free”

The last notes rang out into the room. Neither of them could stop smiling. “Yeah!” Luke called out excitedly and ran a hand through his hair while his eyes were focused on Violet. Her wide smile faded into a more tender one when she noticed the way he was looking at her. If it weren’t for the knock on the door, she probably would’ve kissed him then and there.

“I brought you guys some snacks,” the soft voice of Emily Patterson called out as she walked into the bedroom with a plate filled with freshly baked cookies. “How’s the songwriting going?” she asked the couple as she placed the plate on Luke’s nightstand next to Violet.

“We’re almost done,” Violet told her with a smile. “Thanks for the cookies.”

“You’re most welcome, dear.” Her eyes flicked to her son for a second, who was signalling to her to leave them alone. Though Emily wouldn’t be Emily if she listened to her son’s wishes. “Do you wanna stay for dinner? I’m making spaghetti!”

“Oh,” Violet brought out and glanced over at Luke, who clearly didn’t love his mother’s presence right now. “I don’t wanna be a burden…”

Emily swatted her hand. “You’re not a burden at all, dear! I insist! You and Luke can go to rehearsal together afterwards!” She sounded so excited, Violet couldn’t say ‘no’ to her, so she didn’t.

“Okay, yeah, sure! I’d love to stay for dinner!” Violet cringed at her own level of excitement, but it seemed to appease Emily, so it didn’t matter how annoyingly excited she sounded. The woman then turned and left the bedroom, and once the door fell shut, Luke turned to his guest.

“What?” Violet asked, giggling.

“I’d love to stay for dinner!” Luke mocked her with his voice high and the excitement level matched with hers. “Seriously?”

Violet raised her hands in defense. “Your mom sounded so excited! I couldn’t say ‘no’ to her!”

Luke shook his head, but the smile that shone through on his face, told Violet he wasn’t actually disappointed in her. It was, however, the end of that conversation as Luke just turned back to his guitar and the song they were working on together.

Violet couldn’t help the butterflies in her stomach during the rest of the day. Not only did she love being so close to Luke, physically, she loved his family too which made her closer to him in a figurative sense as well. Her gut-feeling was correct; she very much did feel at home here.

As Luke and Violet made their way to Julie’s house for practice at the studio, they talked about the deepest topics. He told her about the one day he almost lost his mother due to a minor heart attack and how he’d been keeping an eye out for her ever since that day.

“That day gave me a lot of perspective,” he said. “We’d had a fight before that, about football and music and school, so when she nearly collapsed in front of me, I was so frightened. I thought I was gonna lose her. I thought I was gonna lose her and have her die thinking I didn’t love her. So, that’s why since that day, I’ve been less focused on music and football, and more on mom and school. It’s one of the reasons why Sunset Curve broke up in the first place.”

“That must’ve been so scary! I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” Violet muttered and brushed her fingers against the back of his hand to show her that she was there for him, with him.

Luke shrugged. “It’s fine now. She’s a lot better and we haven’t had such a petty fight ever since, so that’s good!”

“A blessing in disguise,” Violet chuckled lightly, and it caused Luke to chuckle too. The sound was like music to her ears. She loved hearing Luke laugh. Especially after a story like that one.

“Ah, our love birds finally decided to show up!” Alex exclaimed as the two entered the studio where everyone was waiting for them. Violet felt a blush violently rushing up to her cheeks at Alex’s word choice whilst Luke shrugged it off and reached for his guitar.

“Mom was holding us up,” he said nonchalantly, revealing the fact they had in fact been together before rehearsal too.

Both Carrie and Julie shot Violet a knowing look, which didn’t help the blush fade, but Violet coughed and walked over to where they had set up the keyboard. “Luke and I wrote a song together, which I think you’ll like,” she announced and, along with Luke, showed the others what they had been working on.

After a few tries, the band finally started to get it and, eventually, they were able to play the song without any of them messing anything up.

As usual, Violet started behind the keyboard, her fingers floating over the ivories and, with all the passion and excitement in her voice, she started singing the song she’d written with Luke.

“Hearts on fire We're no liars So we say what we wanna say I'm awakened No more faking So we push all our fears away”

Her eyes landed on Luke, who was staring at her with an admiring smile on his face. She shot him a wink as she sped up the melody a little, her voice becoming stronger.

“Don't know if I'll make it 'cause I'm falling under Close my eyes, and feel my chest beating like thunder”

Now she closed her eyes and vanished in the moment, letting herself get swept up in the music.

“I wanna fly Come alive Watch me shine”

Grabbing the microphone off the stand, Violet moved from behind the keyboard and joined the boys. She halted between Luke and Bobby as they joined in on their guitars along with Alex on drums and Reggie on bass. All while Luke’s voice entangled with hers during the chorus.

“I got a spark in me Hands up if you can see And you're a part of me Hands up if you're with me Now 'til eternity Hands up if you believe Been so long, and now we're finally free”

The music slowed down a little again and Violet made her way over to Reggie. While Violet sang the verse, he mouthed along with her, a smile on his face. Violet loved making music with these guys. It brought out a whole new version of her. A version they knew already, but she had yet to find.

“We're all bright now What a sight now Coming out like we're fireworks Marching on proud Turn it up loud 'Cause now we know what we're worth”

She then turned back to the mic stand between Luke and Bobby, and as Luke joined in on the pre-chorus, their eyes locked and they didn’t let go for a good few beats.

“We know we can make it we're not falling under Close my eyes and feel my chest beating like thunder”

Luke’s eyes stayed on her while she closed hers and turned back forward. She focused on the notes she had to hit, which gave him the opportunity to watch her as she did.

“I wanna fly Come alive Watch me shine”

He joined in on the chorus again, while Bobby, Reggie and Alex took care of the backing vocals.

“I got a spark in me Hands up if you can see And you're a part of me Hands up if you're with me Now 'til eternity Hands up if you believe Been so long, and now we're finally free”

Now, Violet turned to Bobby, giving him some attention too but she could still feel Luke’s gaze on her. It made her only slightly nervous, so she quickly moved over to the drums where she rocked out with Alex for a moment.

“I got a spark in me Hands up if you can see And you're a part of me Hands up if you're with me Now 'til eternity Hands up if you believe Been so long, and now we're finally free”

The music slowed into the bridge when Violet returned to the mic stand and secured her microphone on it before turning towards Luke, taking the stand with her. Sharing her mic, Luke echoed the words she sang to him.

“I got a spark in me”

“And you're a part of me”

Everyone else in that room could sense the chemistry oozing off of the two. They only needed one shared look to know that everyone was thinking the exact same thing; those two were madly in love with one another.

“Now 'til eternity”

“Been so long, and now we're finally free”

As Violet returned to her spot while hitting that high note, the boys lapsed back into the chorus with Reggie and Luke on lead vocals and Bobby and Alex on backings. The ad libs Violet added throughout gave the song all the more volume.

“I got a spark in me Hands up if you can see And you're a part of me Hands up if you're with me Now 'til eternity Hands up if you believe Been so long, and now we're finally free (yeah, yeah, yeah)”

“I got a spark in me Hands up if you can see And you're a part of me Hands up if you're with me Now 'til eternity Hands up if you believe Been so long, and now we're finally free”

The song faded out, all four boys stopping playing their instruments while Violet’s last notes rang out into the studio.

“Finally free Yeah”

A sense of adrenaline and pride lingered in the air as the band stood in place, panting and glancing at each other. All of them knew that this song right there was going to be a hit. If only they actually released any music.

“That was epic, Vi!” Bobby exclaimed. Violet had to blink a few times to register what Bobby had just said. The excitement eluding from Bobby’s face was new. Something she wasn’t quite used to as she just knew him as Carrie’s older brother.

The girl let out an airy chuckle. “Well, I didn’t do it alone,” she said and looked over her shoulder to Luke, who had this tender smile on his face that she couldn’t quite place.

“You guys are like the golden duo!” Reggie called out, beaming as he wiped the sweat off his forehead.

“The world thinks so too!” Carrie called out, raising her phone in the air. Confusion ran through Violet’s mind as she inched closer towards her best friend. “I live streamed the entire song and all I’m getting is praise so far!” She showed the band the saved recording of the live stream, along with all the comments underneath it. “They love Violet Sunset!”

The boys let out a cheer and shared high fives while Violet could only feel herself crumple. Noticing this, Luke wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders. “We don’t have to do anything else with this if you don’t want it, Vi,” he said and squeezed her against his body. As he let go to place his guitar on its stand again, the lack of his warmth in Violet’s body made her shiver.

“I’m gonna head home,” Reggie spoke up. “Parents want me to watch over Archie.” Violet had learned that Reggie was the middle child of three boys. Archie was his nine year old younger brother, Nate was his older brother and off to college already. He didn’t have to worry about their parents fighting anymore or watching Archie. But Reggie did.

“I’ll come with,” Alex chimed in and emerged from behind his drums.

“Me too,” Luke added and hopped over to his friends, stopping near Violet. “You’re gonna get home okay?” he asked chivalrously with a careful hand on the small of her back.

“Uhm, yeah,” she squeaked out. “I’ll be okay. Thanks.” The two smiled at each other before the three boys left the garage.

“So you and Luke, huh?” Carrie started with a smirk, placing her chin in her hand.

“So you and Violet, huh?” Alex teased as the boys made their way down the street together.

Luke chuckled and was grateful for the sun setting so the boys couldn’t see how madly he was blushing. “What are you talking about?” he asked, playing it off.

“You and Violet have crazy chemistry together!” Reggie exclaimed while plucking a branch of leaves off a tree that hung overhead.

“I have chemistry with everyone that I sing with!” Luke countered, wondering if he really wasn’t imagining everything that happened between him and Violet. He caught a glimpse of Alex’ and Reggie’s glance at one another and halted both boys by placing a hand on Reggie’s arm. “No, look!” he said and turned to Reggie to face him.

“I believe, I believe that we’re just one dream”

He grabbed the back of Reggie’s neck, forcing the boy to look at him.

“Away from who we’re meant to be That we’re standing on the edge of…”

He paused dramatically, “Great.”

Reggie swallowed harshly as he blinked rapidly. “Wow, I see chemistry,” Alex agreed while Reggie was still trying to get his bearings.

“That was pretty hot,” Reggie agreed, coughing. Wanting to tease the boy even more, Luke pressed his fingers against his lips before touching Reggie’s lips, startling the boy into a nervous cough. “Girls, am I right?”

“Yeah,” Luke agreed as he walked away from his friends.

“No,” Alex responded before following Luke. Reggie needed a few more seconds before he was able to move and follow the boys. All while Luke was all up in his head about the whole chemistry thing. Was it just a singing thing or was there actually something between him and Violet?

The girls kept pestering Violet for information on her and Luke. Information Violet didn’t let go of, let alone she knew about herself. She didn’t know what it was exactly she felt for Luke. Aside from familiarity, warmth, bliss, alternated with absolute dread and fury because of what another version of the boy did to her and the fact that she wasn’t going to be here in a month.

“Enjoy it while it lasts, buttercup,” Carrie told her when the two of them were alone after they’d left Julie’s. Violet’s confused glance must’ve tipped Carrie off as she continued. “Go on a date with him, kiss him, fuck him. Do what you didn’t get to do when you were in your universe! You only don’t wanna date this version of him because he reminds you of the Luke you know, the Luke that broke your heart.” There was some truth to Carrie’s words. The anger and resentment only came from him having the same face as the person who had broken her.

“I guess you’re right…” Violet replied. “I guess I –” she stopped in her tracks when she noticed a group of people in front of Carrie’s security gate. Under the street light, she could make out the faces of the girls in her band. Dirty Candy stood in front of Carrie’s house, presumably waiting for them.

“Girls,” Carrie seethed through her teeth, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“We saw your live stream,” Kayla started, but it didn’t sound bitter or filled with resentment. It was cautious and filled with regret. “You shine up there with those boys, Violet… I wish we could still have that…”

Violet’s mind ran through all the words aimed at her. There had to be a way to be in Dirty Candy while also being in Violet Sunset with the boys. There had to be a middle ground. Something to keep everyone happy. Especially Carrie.

“We could… On one condition…” Violet trailed off, making sure she had everyone’s attention. “We don’t stick to bubblegum pop but branch out a little.”

Kayla exchanged glances with the other candies, all of them wordlessly assenting. “What did you have in mind?”

Violet smiled. All of it was going to fall into place. Everything had to fall into place. This was how she was going to get back to her universe. Not just by getting the band back together, but by letting everything fall into place. Including herself and Luke.

“You didn’t have to come along,” Luke said as he nervously fiddled with the rings on his fingers as they stood in front of his front door. He had dreamt of taking a girl like Violet home with him. He just hadn’t expected it to actually be Violet, nor in this circumstance.

Violet shrugged in response. “I wanted to make sure you actually went through with it. Now right the doorbell. We’ve been standing here for five minutes like complete idiots.”

Nervously, Luke lifted his hand. He hesitated, and Violet noticed this, so she placed her hand over his and forced his finger to the button. His eyes flicked towards her, panic and regret fleeting through his eyes.

“You got this,” Violet encouraged him right before the door opened and his father appeared in front of them. Mister Patterson was a tall gentleman, his hair and eyes matched Luke’s perfectly while his slightly crooked nose supported the thick glasses.

“Lukas…” Mitch mumbled, chuckling in relief.

“Hi, dad…” Luke’s voice managed something just above a whisper, but it failed him further, forbidding him from saying anything else on the matter.

At this moment, Violet jumped into the rescue. “Hi, I’m Violet, a friend of Luke’s,” she introduced herself and politely stretched out her hand for Mitch to shake, which the old man did, with confusion written all over his face. “Could we come in for a moment? Luke’s got something important to say but he’s going to need a moment… or five…”

Mitch nodded his head and stepped aside, allowing the teenagers to walk in. Violet grabbed Luke’s hand and pulled him inside while also pulling him back to earth. The warmth of her hand engulfed him and sent some fresh confidence into his veins.

“Did I hear the doorbell?” Luke’s mother sounded as she entered the living room where all three of them halted. The woman’s eyes landed on the girl in her living room before flicking to her own son. “Luke…” Tears pooled in her eyes as she spoke his name.

“Hi mom,” he said and cleared his throat. His eyes flicked over to Violet, who gave him an encouraging nod while her fingers curled around his hand, squeezing it for extra support.

“I– I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry… I’m sorry for the fight we had and I’m sorry for running out on you like that. We should’ve talked about it like adults, but instead, I ran away like a child.” Luke’s eyes became watery and even Violet started to struggle. “You were right, mom… I wasn’t ready for life in the spotlight or life on the road. It’s hard… It’s so hard and every day, I wished I still had you and dad by my side…”

“Oh, Lukas…” Emily choked on her tears before opening her arms to take her long-lost son into a hug. Violet let go of his hand, allowing the boy to reunite with his mother. “I was wrong too, darling,” she whispered. “You’re doing great up there. You’re thriving, you’re making amazing music, doing what you love.”

Luke carefully pushed his mother off him, keeping her at arm's length so he could look into her eyes. “Yeah, but none of that’s worth it without you supporting me. I hate doing what I love without knowing the people I love are supporting me.”

“Just because we weren’t in your life anymore, doesn’t mean we didn’t support you,” Mitch chimed in with a teary smile. “We’ve been proudly watching your every move from a distance, son.” Mitch laid a hand on Luke’s shoulder, a movement that made Violet tear up even more. She was glad she had come along. She didn’t want to miss this moment for the world.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us to your girlfriend?” Emily then chuckled, her eyes landing on Violet, who silently stood behind Luke with tears running down her face.

Luke turned his head and let out a laugh. “She’s not my girlfriend, but this is Violet. My best friend,” he smiled at her and outstretched his hand for her to take and join him by his side. “She’s brought me back with my two feet on the ground. She’s the reason I’m still breathing.”

Emily looked at Violet and smiled a thankful smile. “Thank you,” she said and pulled the girl in for a hug.

The two teenagers stayed at the Pattersons for dinner and while Emily showed Violet some old photos of Luke afterwards, Violet couldn’t keep her eyes off the boy. Every now and again, she glanced over and caught him looking at her, too.

“Thank you,” he mouthed when their eyes locked for the nth time and Violet just smiled. This meant a lot to Luke, she could tell. She hoped he could tell he meant a lot to her, too.

It was going to suck, big time, when she had to leave.

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teamrocketmemes · 4 years

Text

(Julie and The Phantoms: Soundtrack Starters Part 2)

Sentence starters from the soundtrack of season one of the Netflix series ‘Julie and The Phantoms’. Feel free to change pronouns / etc as necessary!

All Eyes On Me

"Whenever I walk in the room, all the focus on me." "They all want on my team." "Not tryin' to brag, but I'm flawless." "I'm taking over your playlist." "Ain't perfect but I can't miss." "The party don't start till I walk in." "I'm stealing all the attention, don't get me started on mentions." "Some might say I sound conceited, they don't get the shine that I get." "Some get jealous, they can't help it." "They wish they were me." "I keep the party going all night." "I set the trends that you all like." "I only lead I never follow." "I never open cause it's my show." "Don't know if people think I'm shallow, but all I see is all eyes on me." "They know my face, they know my name." "It's not my fault I got the fame." "When I grow up I wanna be me." "I'm my own goals, just talking honestly."

Finally Free

"We're no liars, so we say what we wanna say." "So we push all our fears away." "Don't know if I'll make it cause I'm falling under." "Close my eyes and feel my chest beating like thunder." "I wanna fly, come alive. Watch me shine." " I got a spark in me, hands up if you can see." "And you're a part of me." "Hands up if you're with me." "Been so long and now we're finally free." "We're all bright now, what a sight now; coming out like we're fireworks." "Marching on proud, turn it up loud." "Now we know what we're worth." "We know we can make it, we're not falling down under."

Perfect Harmony

"Step into my world." "Bittersweet love story about a girl, shook me to the core." "Voice like an angel, I've never heard before." "Shining so much brighter than I have ever seen. " "Life can be so mean, but when he goes I know he doesn't leave." "The truth is finally breaking through." "Two worlds collide when I'm with you." "Our voices rise and soar so high, we come to life when we're in perfect harmony." "You set me free, you and me together is more than chemistry." "Love me as I am. I'll hold your music here inside my hands." "We say we're friends, we play pretend." "You're more to me, we're everything." "Our voices rise and soar so high." "I feel your rhythm in my heart." "You are my brightest, burning star." "I never knew a love so real." "We're heaven on earth, melody and words." "We say we're friends, we play pretend. You're more to me." "We create a perfect harmony."

Edge Of Great

"Running from the past, tripping on the now." "What is lost can be found, it's obvious." "And like a rubber ball we come bouncing back." "We all got a second act, inside of us." "I believe that we're just one dream, away from who we're meant to be." "That we're standing on the edge of something big, something crazy." "Our best days are yet unknown." "That this moment is ours to own." "We all make mistakes, but they're just stepping stones to take us where we wanna go." "Sometimes we gotta lean on someone else to get a little help." "Don't gotta hide it, let your colors blind their eyes." "Be who you are. No compromise."

Unsaid Emily

"First things first, we start the scene in reverse." "All of the lines rehearsed disappeared from my mind." "When things got loud, one of us running out. I should've turned around, but I had too much pride." "No time for goodbyes, didn't get to apologize." "Pieces of a clock that lies broken." "If I could take us back, if I could just do that." "And write in every empty space the words 'I love you' in replace. Then maybe time would not erase me." "If you could only know I'd never let you go." "And the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave." "Who'd be the first to break? Guess we're alike that way." "He said she said conversations in my head." "And that's just where they're gonna stay forever."

You Got Nothing To Lose

"You know you wanna take a chance and be a little bit bad." "Ain't nothing quite like living on the edge, so get ready to go." "I'm chasing down a thrill, and looking fit to kill." "So listen to the words a wise man said." "You got nothing to lose, boys." "You got nothing to lose." "Welcome to my stage, boys." "You know you want a little taste." "Life's short, not a minute to waste." "I'll take you higher than you've ever been, so come over and tell me how you'd like to begin." "___, show me what you've got!" "How do you like my new band?" "So come over here, baby." "I got what you need, let yourself go crazy." "All bets on me, it's electrifying." "I feel it in the air, we got nothing to lose."

Stand Tall

"Don't blink, no, I don't want to miss it." "One thing, and it's back to the beginning." "Everything is rushing in fast." "Keep going on, never look back." "And it's one, two, three, four times that I'll try for one more night." "Light a fire in my eyes, I'm going out of my mind." "Whatever happens, even if I'm the last standing. I'm gonna stand tall." "Even when everything's down, I'm gonna stand tall." "I gotta keep on dreaming, 'cause I gotta catch that feeling." "Right now, I'm loving every minute." "Hands down, can't let myself forget it, no." "Everything is rushing in fast. Keep holding on, never look back." "I'm going out of my mind." "Like I'm glowing in the dark, "I keep on going when it's all falling apart."

#rp memes #sentence starters #inbox memes #ask memes #lyric memes #★ our memes.#★ mod jessie.

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smokeinsilence · 5 years

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The Ninth Symphony

A writer writes a novel. A songwriter writes a song. A symphonist writes a symphony…which is maybe the best example because all the best ones were written for God. So, tell me what happens if Beethoven’s writing his “Ninth Symphony” and suddenly he wakes up one day and realizes that God doesn’t exist.

So, suddenly all of these notes and chords and harmonies that were intended to, you know, supersede the flesh, you realize, “Oh, that’s just physics.”

So Beethoven says, “Shoot, God doesn’t exist, so I guess I’m writing this for other people. It’s just nuts and bolts now.” He didn’t have any children, that I can recall, um, yes, he had a nephew. Okay. Great. So he-he writes it for him. Or Immortal Beloved. Yes. Or for whoever that was. But let’s leave love out of this and let’s wrap this all up under the blanket of someone thinking, “This is something that they’ll remember me for.” And they did. And we do. And sure enough, we do what we can to endure.

We build our legacy piece by piece, and maybe the whole world will remember you, or maybe just a couple of people, but you do what you can to make sure you’re still around after you’re gone. And so we’re still reading this book, we’re still singing the song, and kids remember their parents and their grandparents and everyone’s got their family tree, and Beethoven’s got his symphony, And we’ve got it too. And everyone will keep listening to it f…for the foreseeable future.

But…that’s where things start breaking down, because your kids…kids of their kids, they’re gonna die. Hey, just sayin’. They’re all gonna die, and so on, and so on. And then there’s gonna be one big-one big tectonic shift. Everest will blow and the western plates will shift, and the oceans will rise, the mountains will fall, and 90 percent of humanity will be gone. One fell swoop. This is just science. Whoever’s left will…go to higher ground and social order will fall away, and we will revert to scavengers and hunters and gatherers, but maybe there’s someone…someone who one day hums a melody they used to know. And it gives everyone a little bit of hope. Mankind’s on the verge of being wiped out, but it keeps going a little bit longer because someone hears someone else hum a melody in a cave and the physics of it in their ear make them feel something other than fear or hunger or hate, and mankind carries on and civilization gets back on track. And now you’re thinking you’re gonna finish that book. But it won’t last. ‘Cause by and by, the planet’s gonna die. In a few billion years the sun will become a red giant and it’ll, uh, eventually swallow Earth whole. This is a fact. Now, maybe by that point, we’ll have set up shop on some completely different planet. Good for us. Maybe we’ve figured out a way of carrying with us all these things that matter. They’ve got a photocopy of the Mona Lisa out there, someone sees it, mixes a little bit of alien dirt with some spit, paints something new, the whole thing keeps going.

But even that doesn’t matter.

Because even if some form of mankind carries some recording of Beethoven’s “Ninth Symphony” all the way into the future, the future’s gonna hit a brick wall. The universe will keep expanding, and it’ll eventually take all matter with it. Everything you’ve ever strived for, everything that you and some stranger on the other side of the planet share with some future stranger on some entirely different planet without even knowing it, everything that ever made you feel big or stand up tall, it’ll all go. Every atom in this dimension…will be pulled apart by force as simple as…And then all these shredded particles will contract again…and… the universe is gonna suck itself back into a speck too small for any of us to see. So, you can write a book…but the pages will burn. You can sing a song and pass it down. You can write a play and hope that folks will remember it…keep performing it. You can build your dream house… but ultimately none of that matters any more than digging your fingers into the ground to bury a fence post.

Or… or fucking.

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mirkwoodshewolf · 6 years

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Soulmates through music; Brian May x reader

Okay everyone, now from the last Rock Angel part I know I had a lot of hearts broken and spirits crushed so along with the recent Freddie fic I just posted which I hope you all read and comment, I present to you my 2nd Brian May x reader fic. This time it has ALL THE FLUFFY FEELS that should hopefully mend the heartache that was “A family torn apart”.

Now one thing I should add is the fact I’ve put the reader as Tim’s sister, you know the first lead singer of Smile before he went to join Humpy Bong. The idea of putting the reader as Tim’s sister has crossed my mind more than once and I’ve yet to come across a fic with that description so I thought, what the hell I’ll give it a shot. And I may include a part 2&3 but that’s all I’ve had in mind for it, but first I’ll see how I am with time.

So warnings are FLUFF, FLUFF & yes MORE FLUFF, makeout sessions, Paul Prenter (yes he’s a warning as usual), bit of swearing but overall it’s as FLUFFY as you can imagine. OH ONE LAST THING AND THIS IS IMPORTANT SO LISTEN UP!!!!

I have linked a video towards the end for Brian May singing “Love of my Life.” Please please please please please PLEASE listen to that song cause it will help the story move along. I promise you. Okay hope you enjoy loveies :)

*PS AN 3-23-19*

For those who don’t know, I’ve made a little oneshot sequel to this story. Pt.3 is already done and complete, idk when I’ll do pt.2 so that way this short little mini-series can be marked as complete but for those interested until I get the time to do pt.2 have a read of this and I hope you all enjoy this next little continuation :)

Part 1.5 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Taglist Queen fics

@alexfayer

________________________________________________

*1970*

It was like any other Smile performance. Brian, Roger, Tim and I were playing at the pub, oh I’m getting a head of myself, the name is (y/n) Staffell, the keyboardist/pianist and sometimes tambourine player of Smile, but by day I do my mammalogy studies specifically in regard to carnivora species of the Eutheria subclass. In English that means I focus more on the studies of big cats, canines and bears.

And yes as you can tell by my last name, Tim is unfortunately my older brother. The relationship between us is…..well it’s strained at best but it’s not violent or toxic or anything like that but, we don’t get along half the time.

But he knew my potential of the piano ever since I was 3 years old I’ve been playing and I knew how to make a good rhythm or match harmony to melodies to some of the songs that Smile does. When Brian and Roger came on board in the band, the three of us became rather close, best friends you could say, hell maybe family.

Once Brian’s guitar solo came up and he had the chance to shine, Roger and I joined behind him and the three of us made a sound so magnificent and full of rock and roll, I felt like it would be deserving of the heavens. That is of course until Tim came back in singing and playing the bass guitar.

By the end of the show, our classmates and other young college kids applauded and my brother said into the mic.

“Thank you all. We are Smile. Goodnight everybody!” After the show I shook out my hands and flexed my fingers in and out and that’s when Roger asked me.

“You alright (y/n)?”

“Yeah just overdid it on that solo, always makes my wrists cramp up as well as my fingers. Thank god I didn’t miss a key though.”

“I thought you did amazing.” Said Brian. I turned to him and smiled softly and thanked him.

However as the night went on, things only got worse as my idiot brother told us of this opportunity with a new band.

“Humpy Bong?” Brian said.

“Humpy Bong. There’s going places, there’s gonna be big.”

“Humpy Bong. Are you joking?” snapped Roger.

“Don’t do it Tim.” Brian begged.

“I’m sorry guys but we’re not going anywhere with this. What college gigs? Pubs? I’ve gotta give it a go. Come on (y/n) let’s go.”

“I’m not going.” I stated firmly. Tim turned toward me holding his bass and he said.

“Don’t be an idiot (y/n). I already told them I knew of a great pianist who could put Beethoven and Mozart to shame. Don’t waste your talent by staying where you’re at.” I stared Tim down and said.

“Then find someone else with my skill set. If that’s at all possible of course. You may be a coward for ducking out but I’m not. I’m staying with Rog and Brian.” Tim rolled his eyes and muttered.

“Whatever, it’s your loss.” Then he walked away leaving Brian, Roger and myself along without a lead singer.

I just got back from the bar getting our drinks and I handed Roger his beer and I handed Brian his glass of water while I had me a beer as well. I sat between Roger and Brian in Rog’s van.

“You didn’t have to do that you know.” I heard Brian say.

“Do what?”

“Stay with us while your brother’s off to go big.”

“Brian, if my brother and I had to be stuck in one more band together, I’d soon rather gouge my eyes out and chop off every last one of my fingers and toes just so that I couldn’t play anymore. You guys may not know this but he’s also very critical when it comes to my playing. Claiming I’m not playing the right tempo or key. I’ll make it big with my boys at my side.”

“Aww you do care for us.” Roger teased as he ruffled my hair messing it up while I let out a whine before playfully shoving him away.

As the minutes ticked by, Roger piped in again.

“Besides I think he’s right. That show really was a load of bullocks.”

“Well there—there was room for improvement yeah.” Brian tried to reason with Roger. “Right (y/n)?”

“Uhh…..”

“See even she agrees with me. I’ve got better things to do with my Saturday nights. I could give you their names.” Roger grinned smugly at the last statement as he put his cigarette to his lips and as Brian and I rolled our eyes, Roger exhaled the smoke grinning at us. It was then a boy walked right by us before stopping in front of us.

He had dark black hair, about the same length as Brian’s was, he wore a jean jacket, a stripped polo shirt and dark jeans. But what made him stand out was the fact that I could see that he had an overbite and the fact that he didn’t look British at all, it looked like he was either from the Middle East or India, I don’t know I’m always getting those places mixed up.

“En—enjoyed the show.” He said. He was kinda awkward and shy but at least he’s not like all the other boys who come up to us and then spot me and try to get a shag from me.

“Thanks man.” Said Brian.

“Thank you.” Both Roger and I said.

“I’ve been following you for a while actually. Smile. Makes sense for a dental student.” He said shyly gesturing to Roger before turning to Brian and continuing, “And you’re astrophysics, aren’t you?”

“Yeah” Brian answered wearily.

“Makes you the clever one.” The man answered. Seeming to boost Brian’s already big ego he turned to Roger and I and said.

“Yeah I suppose it does.”

“And you dear, you’re a biologist aren’t you. Specifically for mammals. Right?” he said pointing to me.

“Yeah though I really love the big cats and canines.”

“Thought so. Fierce, clever girls such as yourself always love those kinds of animals.” I then turned to Brian and said in the same tone he had spoken to Roger and me.

“Yeah I suppose we do.”

“I study design here.” He said.

“Wow, I can tell. I love your jacket, it really goes well with your shirt.” I said to him.

“Thank you darling. Also I—” he then pulled out some sheets of paper and said, “I write songs. Might be of interest to you. It’s just a bit of fun really.” He said putting his notes away embarrassingly since we didn’t immediately take them.

“I’m sorry but I’m afraid your five minutes too late.” I said solemnly.

“Our lead singer just quit.” Brian answered. The man’s eyes widened for a brief moment and he seemed to gain some confidence as he said proudly.

“Well then you’ll need someone new.”

“Any ideas?” asked Brian with a shrug. The man adjusted himself almost like he was about to strike a pose but chose against it as he said.

“What about me?”

“Uhhh…..not with those teeth mate.” Roger joked out. I slammed Roger over the head and I sneered at him.

“Don’t be a wanker Roger!” I faced the man to see him slightly heartbroken and as he turned away I was about to apologize on Roger’s behalf when something incredible happened. The man turned around and sung one of the verses for “Doin Alright”.

I know what I’m doin….

I’ve got a feeling

I should be doin alright!

Oh my…..My jaw dropped at hearing this guy’s voice. It was like hearing an angel sing from the heavens. The boys and I looked at each other before the 4 of us sung in unison.

Doin alright.

Our voices blending together in perfect harmony. By the end of the song Brian was laughing happily and I held my hand over my mouth trying to contain my squeals but I couldn’t help it, while Roger had the biggest smile across his face.

“I was born with 4 additional incisors. More space in my mouth means more range. I’ll consider your offer.” He told us before smugly walking away with his hands on his hips. I looked at both Brian and Roger and we silently agreed and it was then Brian called out to him.

“Uhh…Do you play bass?” He turned back toward us and stated proudly.

“Nope.”

About six months later after getting to know Freddie Bulsara, we started looking for a bass player as well as rehearsing before our next gig at the same pub. Finally after trying out a few bass players there came a bass player by the name of John Deacon and I could already tell that he was exactly what we needed.

Finally our next gig had arrived. As we all walked up on stage to our positions. Roger went up to his drum set, John grabbed his bass guitar, Brian had his red special that he and his dad had made together and as Freddie and I walked up Brian introduced the new faces of our band.

Of course one bastard just had to call out just after Freddie greeted the crowd asking where my brother was and who this Pakkie was that we got. I went up to Freddie holding my tambourine for the first bit and said to him.

“You ready Freddie?” He turned to me and said.

“Let’s do it.” It was then Brian played the first note for mine and Brian’s song that we both wrote together “Keep Yourself alive”. I slammed my tambourine at my hip, Roger kept the tempo with his drums while Freddie was struggling to get the microphone stan out of its place. Which made that god awful feedback screech and I was looking at him oddly as well as the rest of the boys wondering just what the hell he was doing. It wasn’t until he managed to break the microphone stand off nearly almost decapitating John’s head off and he then began to sing.

And when he performed, it was like he had no boundaries of what it was that he was doing. He owned the stage like it was his and made every audience member feel important.

The only downside was that he was singing the wrong lyrics and improvising what Brian and I had. Every now and then Brian and I would pipe in telling Freddie he was singing the wrong lyric but of course when Freddie sets his mind to something, there’s no stopping.

As time passed, our band changed from Smile to Queen all because of Freddie and because of him we got the chance to record our first ever album and we soon got discovered by John Reid from EMI records and he wanted to meet with us and possible manage us.

We got on Top the Pops, did an American tour and were now going to record our next rising album.

*Rockfield farm, 1975*

After getting the approval from Ray Foster, we were sent off to a recording studio known as Rockfield farm, and I’ll definitely say it definitely suited the name. This recording studio was all the way out of civilization’s reach and it all looked more like a farm than a recording studio with the wooden built houses.

We were lead inside by Paul Prenter who was basically our “watcher” keeping an eye on us from day to day. Let’s just say I already do not like this guy, he gives me such eerie vibes it’s not even funny. Plus he seems to always want to be around Freddie like a little lost puppy.

“Right I know it’s not the Ritz. Not even close. Roger, you’re in here.” He said as we all followed him up the stairs of the house we would be staying in for the next several weeks if not months.

“Right.” Roger said as he went into his room.

“Freddie this is you. Biggest room.” Kiss ass. “Brian, that’s you.” As John and I trailed up behind Paul stopped us and said, “John you’re in the living room. And (y/n) you’re downstairs.”

“No! Absolutely not! She can stay in my room. I’ll take downstairs.” Roger said. I looked at Roger in shock. Never have I heard him wanting to pass off a good room for what could be a cold, small basement.

“Roger don’t get all…..”

“My bedroom is big enough for two. I wouldn’t mind sharing.” Brian’s voice rang up. He turned towards me and said, “Of course if that’s alright with you (y/n). I don’t mean to speak up for you but I just thought……”

“It’s fine Brian. So long as you’re sure. I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“It’s nothing (y/n), come on in.”

“Right then, that means John you take (y/n)’s room.” Paul walked down the stairs and I looked at Deacy apologetically.

“I’m sorry Deacy.”

“It’s fine (y/n). I wouldn’t feel right if you had been booted to the basement. It makes sleeping on a couch sound like heaven. I’ll be fine love.” I smiled at him and he took his suitcase and walked back down the stairs.

“Here let me help you carry that.” Brian said as he grabbed my suitcase leaving me with my overnight bag. I walked into his room and it was quite a big sized room, the bed however I can’t really speak for it.

“And you’re sure we both can fit on this bed?” I asked skeptically.

“I think so, we just have to make the adjustments and then….” But as Brian got on the bed, it turned out to be so springy and rickety, it bounded him back up in his seat. He tested the bed out before tilting his head to the side raising his eyebrows.

“Seems the adjusting is going to be bigger than we thought.” I soon got on the bed sitting behind Brian to his left side and it reminded me of a bed back at my nan’s house. As a kid I always loved jumping up and down on that bed, of course nan never allowed it and I was always caught and punished for bouncing on it.

As the day went on and after getting settled in, we all immediately went to work. Using the barn and the scenery as a perfect place of inspiration and the quietness of all distraction minus the chickens going around and the cows mooing in the distance.

Of course Roger couldn’t help himself as he would try to bother the roosters which in turn made one of them chase him which had all of us dying of laughter. We got some recording done just to test out how the sound system sounded and what instruments each of us would play based on the specific song of the songwriter.

Finally it was about 2am when we finally decided to call it a day and get some rest. We all retreated to our room and got changed for the night. Since there was a small jointed bathroom in mine and Brian’s room, he changed in there while I had the bedroom to myself to get changed. Once we were changed, Brian and I began to think of the bed situation.

As we both got into it, it turns out that there was still some space left for the two of us in the middle but only about a full hand length space. I slept on the right side of the bed closest to the door while Brian slept on the left near the window.

“Great work today by the way (y/n).” Brian said.

“Thanks, you too Bri. Goodnight.” I said to him with a soft smile. As I got tucked into the sheets I heard him mutter goodnight back and soon I fell into a deep sleep.

I awoke to the rooster’s crow at the butt crack of dawn and as the sun was starting to lightly come in through the curtains of the window, I let a groan and yawned softly. I almost didn’t want to get up so I nuzzled myself further into my pillow.

Boy my pillow’s a bit sturdier than I remember it being last night, wait hold on a second. Why is my pillow moving up and down? And what is wrapped around my waist? My eyes shot opened and my face turned bleet red as I finally realized what was going on.

I had somehow ended up intertwined with Brian. His arms wrapped securely around my waist, my head buried in his button up white night shirt that had the first three buttons unbuttoned which revealed his chest and somehow one of my hands had tucked itself underneath it and I could feel his chest hair along my palm, I could also feel our legs entangled with each other.

I guess—no I would be lying if I didn’t say that ever since forming Smile that I’ve had a slight crush on Brian Harold May. Okay I’m lying again.

I’m crazy in love with the man.

From the first day my brother Tim introduced us together, I thought he was the cutest boy I have ever seen. His short hair at the time, his blue eyes, and his stupid but beautiful face that looked like he had come out of a Michelangelo sculpture.

I must’ve suddenly panicked or something because next thing I knew I was down on the floor hitting my head onto the hard floor.

“(Y/n) are you okay!?” I heard Brian say above me.

“Yeah, yeah I guess I had a nightmare and fell out of bed.” I tried to cover up my embarrassing fall with the famed ‘fall out of bed because of a nightmare’ trick. It worked all the time with Tim, why shouldn’t it work now?

Brian soon was kneeling down in front of me cupping my face checking me for any injuries.

“You sure? What was your dream about?” Ahh bullocks. What do I say to him? Come on (y/n) say something! Anything!

“I was falling off a chocolate volcano.” Really that’s the best you can come up with? Bri looked at me skeptically before laughing softly and shaking his head.

“I’ve told you many times before (y/n), too much sugar will give you nightmares.”

“And I’ve told you Bri, that I never listen to reason, especially from astrophysics majors.” I teased him. He playfully glared at me and I grinned back at him as he went back to checking over me.

I flinched as he touched the back of my head and he apologized and said.

“Well good news you don’t have a concussion.”

“Joyous occasion.” I said sarcastically.

“Let me go down and get you some ice to bring down the swelling.”

“Brian there’s no need……”

“Please (y/n), just so that I feel better.” He cupped my gingerly in his hand. I felt my face got slightly hot as the tingles shot up my spine from his gentle touch.

“Okay.” I breathed out. He smiled softly and got up from the floor and left the room and I let out a deep, heavy sigh that I had no idea I was holding in. “God why must love be so damn confusing and hard?!” I groaned. He soon came back with a small bag of ice as well as a kitchen towel, he had the bag of ice wrapped in the towel and he gently placed it right over the bump on my head.

“How’s that feel?”

“Good. Really, really good. Thanks Bri.”

“Anytime.” He said with a soft smile.

Later on that day I was walking outside along the barn humming to myself hoping to find some rhythm to get down on the piano so that I could make a song. That’s when I heard the sound of Brian’s red special guitar playing in the recording studio.

I followed the sound of the hypnotic guitar and I finally realized that the song that Brian was playing was Elvis Presley’s “Heartbreak hotel”. I quietly entered the studio and there I saw on the other side of the glass window, Brian with a set of headphones and I could hear him singing the song.

*Brian*

Well since my baby left me

I found a new place to dwell

It’s down at the end of lonely street

At Heartbreak Hotel, and I said

I’ve always loved hearing Brian’s voice. He just had this harmonious, angelic soft voice that he barely gave himself credit for. While I did appreciate Freddie’s vocal range and thought he was a great front man for Queen, I just wish there would be a chance for Brian to stand out, hopefully in this album A Night at the Opera he would let Brian have a song to sing.

I’m feelin so lonely baby

I’m feelin so lonely

I’m feeling so—

I then hit the button that would allow Brian to hear me as I sung to him.

*Me*

Lonely, I could die

It startled him as he looked up and stared at me.

“I thought you were supposed to be working on your own music?” He asked me.

“I could ask the same for you Mr. May.” I teased as I pressed the button again speaking into the microphone. “But you know me, I’ve always been an Elvis fan so the second I heard that opening note of my favorite song of the King, I just had to come and see what was going on.” He smiled at me and I smiled back. “So besides trying to be like the King of Rock himself, what have you come up with for the new album?”

“Come on in and have a listen, I need your opinion on this. And you’re the only one who speaks the truth without any sarcastic response.” He said as he set down his red special. I stood up and opened the door and soon entered the recording room.

Brian now held a 12-stringed acoustic guitar as well as a sack of papers and was sitting by the piano.

“Now I haven’t quite figured out most of the lyrics, this is just the chorus but I think it could be a hit. Or not.”

“Well let’s hear it.” He then began humming the tune as he started to play the acoustic. I’ve always admired the way his fingers would just wrap around the neck of the guitar with such elegance and poise as he would play. He’s always had guitar playing hands, as well as piano hands when need be.

Don't you hear my call though you're many years away

Don't you hear me calling you

Write your letters in the sand

For the day I take your hand

In the land that our grandchildren knew

I was in awe at the song already and I knew already that it would be a great song, but also it would tug at the heartstrings.

“Still a work in progress, but then again it could be rubbish.” He said.

“No, no! I love it. It’s just missing something….hold on.” I stood up from the piano bench and looked through the instruments hoping to find what I needed. Finally after doing some literal digging I managed to find a Marx tambourine. “Okay start the chorus up again but don’t start singing just yet, let me get the beat of it.”

Brian then began to play around with the chorus part and I tried to come up with a good rhythm beat and soon I just did a basic clap, hitting my lower palm to the head of the tambourine letting the cymbals jingle. As Brian and I kept the tempo he then began to sing the chorus again but this time I joined alongside him.

Even after hearing the song only once, I found myself knowing the words.

And our voices blending together in a beautiful harmony, his angelic tenor voice and my mezzo soprano voice made shivers run up my spine and goosebumps pop up along my arms.

When we finished the chorus, our eyes were locked onto each other’s and that’s when Roger’s voice piped in.

“How long are you two gonna deny it? Grow a pair and kiss each other will yah! God the sexual tension between you both is disgusting!” We looked up and there standing at the door were Roger, Deacy and Freddie. Brian and I turned away from each other blushing.

But I kept thinking to myself, did he feel the same way about me like Roger was suggesting? Or is he just pulling my leg like he usually does.

“That was beautiful Brian dear, what do you call that song?” asked Freddie.

“I—haven’t really gotten a name for it yet. It’s still a work in progress.”

“Well I love it, especially when you two sing it together. But if you don’t mind I need to steal (y/n) away and teach her the piano for the song I have in mind for the album that will change the way music can be created.” I turned to Brian and he gestured for me to go on.

I set the tambourine down and walked towards Freddie and he wrapped an arm around me and led me out of the recording studio and back up towards one of the other houses where they would have some of the pianos.

I was sitting next to Freddie observing his piano skills as he played his song which he’s decided to call “Bohemian Rhapsody.” He would cross his hands over one another for a 2 quick note playing before uncrossing them and returning to playing.

I’ll admit he’s quite the pianist. Sometimes I even wonder why I’m still even hear, if he can play even better than me. Hell back when we were first meeting with John Reid, Paul tried to convince Mr. Reid that the band could possible be better with just the four of them but the boys had my back and told Mr. Reid that either I stay with the band or there’s no deal.

He agreed to keep me in the band and ignore Paul’s ‘opinion’ especially after I had written the hit melody for Killer Queen while Freddie wrote the lyrics.

“Okay (y/n) now let me see you try it.”

“You sure I can do this Fred?” I asked him.

“I have complete confidence in you. I’ll watch every second and show you what to play in case you miss any notes.” I then began playing the piano now and I seemed to get it, except for when it came to the hand cross over. I would either miss the keys on the cross over or mess up the rhythm when it came back to uncrossing my hands. I was starting to get frustrated and I said.

“This isn’t working. How in the bloody hell do you do the hand cross over?”

“It just takes practice darling, here let me show you how it’s done.” He took my hands and placed them on the keys and said, “Okay start playing.” I then began playing the song and just before it came to the key change, he ordered me to stop.

It was then he took hold of my left wrist, crossed it over and said to me.

“Now with just your index and tallest finger, play the two keynotes.” I did as he asked and he immediately went back to position one. “The best way to remember where to come back to position one is to measure your shoulder length. Make sure both arms are at shoulder length and go back to playing. Now try it on your own. You’ve got this dear. Again.”

I sighed deeply and played from the top and miraculously I nailed it right then and there as Freddie sang the first few verses of his song. At the last verse he had before a guitar solo that Brian would do, he sang with such raw passion and I followed with the piano with just as much passion before gracefully banging on the keys as he soon held out the last note and I was soon out of breath just from playing and I knew right then and there.

This would bring Queen to the top.

Freddie turned to me and he said with a grin.

“That was beautiful darling, just like you. And once Brian hears you play, he’ll fall in love with you for sure.”

“Thank you for the first note Fred, the second note I’ll have to disagree with you on that. We’re just friends.”

“Come on darling you’ve told me once before about your little crush, why are you denying it now?”

“Because—because what if he doesn’t feel the same? Or even worse what if we did work out but then hard such a fight that I would put the band at risk? I—I can’t do that to the rest of you guys.”

“Oh (y/n)~” Freddie hugged me from behind and he said. “As a mammal biologist I thought you would’ve known that when Emperor penguins find a mate, they do it through song. You and Brian….you’re voices are made for each other. Your love songs intertwine with each other so well, you wouldn’t be risking anything. The only thing you are risking is the chance at happiness you and him can have together.” I pondered on the thought and I asked him.

“You really think that’s what I’m doing?”

“I know so. Denial doesn’t suit you dearie. Promise me you’ll tell him your feelings, for all our sakes.” I sighed deeply and said to him.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Do it before the end of our recording or else I’ll tell him myself.” He pecked my temple platonically before racing out of the room.

“What? FREDDIE!!” I raced after him yelling his name, knowing that he would go about doing that and I had to do whatever it took to stop him.

As the weeks went on, A Night at the Opera was slowly coming along. Most of the songs had been recorded, even Brian’s song that I had helped him with which he had decided to call ’39. Now our main focus was Freddie’s piece “Bohemian Rhapsody”.

And let me tell you already, that was the song that was taking the longest to record due to Freddie’s perfectionist vision for this song. He had us do multiple takes of each part from either voice recording, guitar playing, piano, bass, drums anything until it was up to par for his vision of the song.

Right now Brian was doing his guitar solo that he himself had actually written for the song. He ran it by Freddie and he allowed Brian to show what he had in mind. Brian was now behind the booth playing his solo right after my piano playing and Freddie’s second verse.

Seeing Brian in his element, playing his red special and playing what he wrote, it made me just fall deeper in love with him. I bobbed my head along to the solo with my eyes closed and just let his beautiful guitar take me away to paradise.

By the end of the solo, Deacy stopped the track and Brian asked.

“What next?”

“That was pretty damn good. Brilliant. I love that.” Freddie said but he forgot to hit the button on the microphone so Brian couldn’t hear him.

“Press the button Freddie” Brian said into his guitar mic. Our music supervisor Roy who actually helped us record our first album told Freddie what to press while Freddie bragged on saying that he knew where it was before pressing the button and teased out.

“Knock, knock.”

“Good” Brian said.

“It’s good umm…you know play it like you wrote it.” Freddie said.

“Well I did I wrote that part.” Brian said.

“Taking the piss.” Brian mocked out a laugh and said.

“Okay, are you happy?”

“I think it’s beautiful, just like our lovely (y/n). It’s almost perfect.”

“Almost?” questioned Brian.

“Yes give it more rock n roll.”

“Well I’m always up for that Fred.”

“Put your body into it.”

“Yeah okay, put my body into it. I’ve got it.” Brian said as he did a cute little wiggle of his hips as he raised a quick cup of water to drink.

“Not like that!”

“No I’ve got it, I’ve got it. Bit more soul, bit more soul.”

“Alright. Bit more heart.” Freddie answered at the same time Brian was talking.

“I’ll do that, are we good to go Roy?” Roy raised a hand up for the all clear and that’s when Freddie said.

“Oh then there’s the operatic section.” There was silence as he clapped his hands once and continued, “You’re gonna love it.”

“The operatic section?” questioned Brian.

“I know. It sounds crazy. I don’t know it could be a flop, it could work.”

“I love it Fred. I love it.” Brian said over Freddie’s word as he spoke into his guitar mic for the emphasize on him voting for the operatic section. Freddie softly chuckled and said.

“What have we got to lose?”

“Nothing.” Laughed Brian.

“If you say so.”

“Okay let’s go.”

“Deacy.” Freddie said as he turned towards Deacy who played the tape back before the guitar solo and Brian gave the solo more soul and this time I felt shivers go up my spine.

Days passed as we kept the recording up, and just like Fred said we were now doing the operatic section of the song. It was tedious and strainful especially for me since I couldn’t do as high as a normal soprano so that’s why for all the higher notes we left that to Roger.

Currently he was recording the Galileo parts. At the Figaro line, the recording stopped and Roger asked us.

“How was that?” I turned to Freddie and asked.

“Fred?” He turned towards me and said.

“Higher.” Roy rewind the tape and I said into the microphone.

“Can you go a bit higher?”

“If I go any higher only dogs will hear me.”

“Try.” Freddie answered.

“Freddie’s note sorry.” Said Deacy as he pressed down onto the mic.

“Go on roll the tape.” Roger sighed.

“Overdub 24 of Fred’s….thing.” Roy said as Roger’s Galileo verse came in. He did go higher than what he did previous doing overdramatic arm waves. At the end he asked.

“How was that? Better?”

“Higher.” Freddie answered bluntly. Brian poked his pen in the air signaling to Roger to go higher.

“Jesus how many more Galileo’s do you want?” Roger demanded as he removed the headphone off his head and placed them around his neck.

“Freddie wants to do a few more overdubs.” I answered him.

“Do we even have any more tape left?”

“I do have to say the tape is wearing out. It can’t take much more.” Deacy said.

“Yeah we can’t afford much more what are we? Three weeks overscheduled?” Brian answered. In the end it took about another hour maybe even 2 of Roger repeating the same four words till it fit Freddie’s vision until he finally said.

“My nuts feel like they’re in my chest right now. Are we done?”

“That’s it honey. He loves you.” I answered him with a grin.

The recording continued and this time we were making better progress as Freddie thought that the first shot at recording the next few lines were what he imagined.

Now all five of us were surrounding one microphone, I was standing between Roger and Brian as we all took each of our operatic sections for the Bismillah and the let me/him go lines. Finally at the last note we all had to hold out, at the rock n roll solo, we all couldn’t help ourselves as we bounced up and down knocking over the flats behind us.

Freddie and Deacy ended up falling to the ground, Roger nearly tripped over as did I but Brian quickly caught me before I fell over. And the way he was holding me, it was like he was dipping me. Our noses almost touching each other’s as we once again were staring deeply into each other’s eyes.

Both Brian and I stood back to normal as we both chuckled nervously rubbing the back of our heads.

“Sorry bout that.” I said.

“What—what have you to be sorry for?”

“For always having to save me from nearly getting myself killed. That is after all the second time I’ve fallen near you.”

“I don’t mind saving you though.” He muttered shyly. I turned to him and shyly smiled and that’s when Freddie said.

“Oh (y/n) darling, isn’t it about time you told something to Brian?” I glared at him and Brian looked to me and I said to him.

“It’s nothing Fred’s just pulling your leg. Much like Roger was several weeks ago. Now then, whose hungry cause I’m cooking tonight.”

Later that night after a successful recording and dinner, I was in mine and Brian’s room reading one of my favorite books when Brian knocked at the door and I looked up and said.

“Oh hey Bri, what’s going on?”

“Nothing much umm….do you have something warm to wear?”

“I—think so let me check.” I asked him why as I went over to the wardrobe and tried to find a jumper or something to wear.

“I want to show you something before we leave back for London.” He answered. I soon managed to find me my favorite shawl and I took it out and placed it over my shoulders and Brian escorted me out of the home and out into the field.

As we walked up a hill, I soon took notice of a few lanterns that had been laid out lit up so that we could find our way as well as a blanket with a couple of thermoses probably filled with tea or coffee.

“Brian…..did you do all this?”

“Yeah, hope I didn’t go too big I just thought we’d be a little more comfortable on the blanket rather than the grass. And I thought you’d might want some coffee to help keep warm.”

“No it’s lovely. Thank you.” We then sat down on top of the blanket and I took one of the thermoses and opened it up and took a sip of the coffee inside. It was nice and warm, just what this cool night needed. “So what is it that you needed me out here for?”

“For this.” He answered as he turned the lights from the lanterns off and he scooted over close to me.

At this point my heart was racing and I thought I was going to be ravished by Brian right here right now. “Lay back and close your eyes.” Oh my god he is going to ravish me.

“Wh-what?”

“Do you trust me?” he asked. Even through the darkness of the night, with the only light being from the full moon I could still see Brian’s eyes showing no ill intentions whatsoever. I nodded and so I did as he asked and closed my eyes and slowly lay back.

I felt Brian take hold of my biceps as he helped me lie back, I soon felt the blanket against me as I felt Brian wrap my own shawl around my tighter. I then felt him lie next to me as he said.

“Okay, open your eyes.” And when I did, I was greeted by millions and millions of stars. I let out a gasp.

In all my life, I have never seen these many stars up close. Ever since I was little, my family and I used to always go up to my nan’s country home in South London but when she passed away the home had to be sold and we couldn’t go there anymore. So the last time I had ever seen this many stars’ was when I was around 10 years old.

Now I have told this story to Brian, even with our playful arguments about whether space or animal studies were more interesting to study.

“Oh Brian it—”

“Shh. Just observe. There you can see Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, and of course Orion one of my personal favorite constellations.” He began to give me a little lecture on the constellations. Hearing him talk with such passion when it came to anything regarding of space made my heart flutter.

I kept my eyes on him as he continued talking about the stars and the cosmos but then he turned towards me. Our eyes locked with each other and I felt this spark go up my arm as I said to him.

“Did you know that—when emperor penguins find a mate, they sing to each other?”

“Really?” He breathed out.

“Yeah, they—find each other’s love song and if the song matches with the other’s then they’re…..mated for—” As I spoke Brian’s face moved closer towards me before finally his lips were pressed against mine.

It was shy at first but soon it became deeper and more passionate as Brian cupped the side of my face and I gripped onto his shirt with both my hands. When we separated, our breaths mixed together and I said to him.

“I love you Brian. I always have but I—I was just too shy to admit it and I didn’t want to risk our friendship or ruin the success of the band and—” I was stopped by another kiss from Brian, this time softer and more gentler but it still made my toes curl and shivers run up my spine.

“You ramble too much.” I couldn’t help the laugh that came out of me and he chuckled as well. “(Y/n) darling you don’t need to be afraid anymore. Because I’ve loved you from the day I first met you. When I first saw you I—I thought I was looking at a star straight from the cosmos.” I smiled at him and said to him.

“You are so cheesy.”

“That’s why I wrote that line in ‘Sweet Lady’ for you my bright star.”

“Well if I’m your bright star, then you are my emperor penguin.” He smiled lovingly and leaned forward and we spent the rest of the night making out and lying underneath the stars.

The next morning the guys were starting to pack up and Deacy came up the stairs as he grumbled out.

“Well I’m ready to get the hell out of here and back into my own bed. I swear that bed in the basement would be better fit for a child.” It was then he took notice of Brian and I on the couch. His arm wrapped around me and my head resting on his shoulder. “Wait are you—you two are….”

“Yes.” I giggled while nodding frantically.

“Oh that’s great! I’m happy for you both, and about bloody time too. That means I win the bet.”

“Bet? What bet?” asked Brian.

“The lads and I have been polling on whether or not you two would get together. I said you’d be together before the end of this recording. Freddie betted by the end of it, while Roger said not in this lifetime.” Brian and I were flabbergasted by the news.

“Roger Meddows Taylor! Get your arse down here right now!!!” I cried out. Roger soon came walking down the stairs and he said.

“Jesus woman what’s got your knickers in a twist?” I smiled snidely and walked up to him before gripping his ear tightly like how I sometimes do when he gets a little too flirty with the girls back during our smile days and I said to him.

“Did you and the rest of the boys have a bet in regard to Brian and I?”

“Jesus Christ (y/n) you know I hate it when you pull on the ear. Ow! Okay yes so what of it!” He yelped as I tugged on his ear. Hard.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Well what else were we supposed to do. As I’ve said you two have been pining over each other since I joined Smile.”

“Well jokes on you Rog.” Stated Brian. I released his ear and he muttered in pain as he rubbed his ear while I walked towards Brian and he stood up and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“You now owe Deacy…..how much did you guys bet?”

“100 quid.” Answered Deacy.

“Are you joking?!” snapped Roger.

“Nope.” the three of us answered. Roger grumbled and paid Deacy the 100 quid then he finally turned to us and he said.

“But I am happy that you both are together. Truly. Just don’t let me catch you snogging or shagging each other.”

“Why? This means it’ll be payback for all the times you’ve been with your girls, don’t you think so my big penguin?” I said as I looked up to Brian.

“Yes I suppose it does, my little penguin.” He cooed as he kissed my forehead which immediately grossed both Deacy and Roger as the two of them headed out with their bags. We both couldn’t contain our snickers and quiet laughter then I said.

“Come on, we’ve got to go pack now otherwise they’ll leave without us.”

“Why not let them? Then we’d finally have this quiet little house all to ourselves. Making beautiful music together, if you catch my drift?” he winked cheekily at me and I smacked his arm and said.

“You dirty rotter!”

“You know you love me.” He whispered seductively in my ear as he tried to seduce me with soft kisses around my upper neck and words of love.

“I’m not sure if I do after that.” I turned around and cupped his face in my hands and seductively kissed his lips. He moaned into the kiss as his arms left my waist as his hands were now cupping my face. Once I had him right where I wanted him, I raced up the stairs toward our room, and it only took a split second for Brian to call out.

“You cheeky little minx!” He chased after me up the stairs and into our room. My laughter echoing through the entire hallway of the house.

*1976. Sydney, Australia*

It was now the start of our next world tour. Ever since the explosion of Bohemian Rhapsody with the public, everyone around the world knew the name Queen. After getting out of Foster’s grip when he had rejected our song and I bet right now he’s kicking himself in the balls for letting go of the biggest rock group ever rising.

As for me and Brian, well……

I was sleeping on the bed when I felt a mess of curls nuzzle into my neck and I felt soft kisses trail up and down my neck. I stirred and turned around to see him holding me close around my waist as I felt him continue his trail of kisses.

“Good morning my love.” he said as he looked up at me.

“Morning.” I moaned out tiredly as I stretched myself out. I then turned to look at Brian and I said to him, “Why did we wait so long for this to happen? We could’ve been doing this for years by now.”

“Because for scientists we are both completely incompetent. But it doesn’t matter, we’re together now though. And that’s all that matters to me.” He said as he lightly pecked my temple before taking my right hand and slowly clasping my hand with his. He lifted our entwined hands to his lips and kissed each of my knuckles delicately. My heart was all a flutter and the butterflies (no moths would be a better term), the moths in my stomach were fluttering like hell.

Once he was done delicately kissing my knuckles, he soon came on top of me and I now lay on my back staring up at the man I’ve loved for so long. I lifted my right hand to stroke and playfully swat with my index finger his luscious curls.

“I can’t believe I get to wake up to you every morning.” I said.

“Believe me love if anyone’s lucky here, it’s me. I get to wake up to the most beautiful girl in the galaxy.” I scoffed at his cheesy astrophysics pickup lines but I kept a loving gaze up at him. He leaned down and softly captured my lips with his and just as he was about to deepen the kiss, a knock was suddenly heard at the door and Roger’s voice said.

“Oi you two get up! We’ve got to get to the concert hall and rehearse! You both can shag after the show!” we both glared at each other and I said.

“How much would it take to replace Roger?”

“Not a whole lot I’d wager.” Brian stated.

That night another concert began and everyone from Australia sang along to all our new songs. Now came that time of the show for Freddie and Brian to do “Love of my Love” with Brian at the 12-stringed acoustic guitar.

As usual Brian warmed up with some chords of the song and just before Freddie was about to sing he suddenly made an announcement.

“You know this time around, we’re gonna mix things up a little bit. Can we have the lovely (Y/n) Staffell at center stage please?” My eyes widened and I turned to Deacy and Rog who only gestured me to go down.

I walked off the drum risers and a spotlight followed me as the crowd cheered.

“Ahh there you are my dear, now can we please get a seat for her?” Soon a stage handler came out with a four-legged stool much like Brian’s just a bit smaller. “Thank you dear,” Freddie said to the handler, “Alright (y/n) you sit here,” Freddie helped me into the seat and I asked him.

“Fred what’s going on? We didn’t rehearse this.”

“Ladies and Gentlemen this time around I’d like to introduce Brian May for the lead vocals of Love of my life, and he’d like to dedicate this song to our lovely keyboardist and pianist (Y/n) Staffell.” The audience applauded loudly and I turned to Brian who only smiled at me lovingly before beginning to play the song.

After the introduction was done, Brian’s soulful voice went into the microphone as he began to sing while staring right at me, the crowd sung along. As usual when this song was played, we had the audience sing to us loud and proud and I actually turned towards the audience hearing them sing.

Play video

*Brian*

Love of my life, you've hurt me You've broken my heart

And now you leave me *Crowd*

Love of my life, can't you see? Bring it back, bring it back Don't take it away from me,

Because you don't know What it means to me

Tears filled my eyes as I turned back towards Brian. The crowd applauded at the end which gave Brian the time to lean towards me and whisper in my ear.

“I love you.” He then kissed my cheek which elected into more cheers from the audience before he started up the next verse of the song. This time he and the audience shared the song in a perfect blend.

*Brian*

Love of my life, don't leave me You've stolen my love, you now desert me *Brian & crowd*

Love of my life, (can't you see?) Bring it back, bring it back

*Crowd*

Don't take it away from me Because you don't know What it means to me

*Brian and crowd*

You will remember When this is blown over Everything's all by the way When I grow older I will be there at your side to remind you How I still love you

*Crowd*

I still love you

As he held the note along with the crowd, they cheered but Brian suddenly stopped playing. I looked at him confused, that was until he took the guitar off his shoulder and Freddie suddenly came in and took it as Brian now got down on one knee.

I could hear shocked screaming from some of the audience members, but of course I was just dead frozen right there in my seat. My heart stopped and I swore I thought I was going to pass out. Freddie handed Brian a microphone and Brian said.

“(Y/n). I have known you all my life. You’ve been there with me since the beginning and you never once left my side. No matter how crazy things got whether our fights were about music, or whether biology or astrophysics was the better science field of study.” I choked out a laugh as the crowd merrily laughed. “You’ve been my best friend, my harmony to my melody, the love of my life. You once told me back on Rockfield farm over a year ago that emperor penguins found their soulmates through song. And now, I want to ask you through this song,”

He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a velvet black box. The crowd went absolutely nuts as I held my hands over my mouth as I was physically sobbing hysterically.

He opened it and inside it revealed a beautiful diamond engagement ring. It was a nice size rock, not too bit but not to small. He always knew I never liked big flashy diamonds. It was on a golden band with two smaller diamond embedded right underneath the main rock.

“Will you, (Y/n) Staffell become Mrs. (Y/n) May?” The crowd screamed at me to say yes and all I could do was sob. Too emotional to even say it, I nodded frantically and soon the audience was in an uproar.

Brian smiled at me before taking the ring out and placing it on my wedding finger. Once it was on, I fell off the stool and embraced Brian as I buried myself into his neck and wept. When we separated, he cupped my face and kissed my forehead, the tip of my nose before finally capturing my lips with his.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as we kissed each other passionately and the audience just kept cheering and awing at us. Once air became a dire need, we were forced to separate and I took notice of the mic. I took hold of Brian’s wrist and held it up and as best I could Brian and I sung the last couple lines together.

Our foreheads touching each other’s as we stared deeply into each other’s eyes.

*Me and Brian*

Love of my life Love of my life Ooh, eh

I wept once more and Brian brought me close to him kissing my head as the audience cheered loudly.

“Ladies and Gentlemen of Sydney please give it up one more time for Mr. and Mrs. May!” Freddie’s voice said into his microphone. The crowd cheered once more but my focus never left Brian’s as he kept my face cupped in his hands and we kissed one more time.

After the concert, Brian and I were in our shared hotel room once again having a private celebration of our engagement. I lay there in my bed, the sheets covering my body while Brian stood by the table in just his boxers pouring the champagne into two glasses for us.

“I still can’t believe one day I’m going to call myself Mrs. (Y/n) May.” I said.

“Well it’s best you believe it darling. I’m hoping we can have the wedding immediately once the tour’s done. That is if it’s not too soon for you.” He said the last part concerned.

Well we’ve got about 2 months left of the tour and after that god knows where Queen’s gonna go after that. Might as well get it over with in case we have to keep postponing it.

“I don’t mind. I’m not looking at a big wedding anyways. Just a few friends, family and as long as I’m wearing a white dress and you’re all dapper up in a tux. That’s all that matters to me.”

“Then we’ll tell the guys in the morning. For now,” he was now lying in front of me facing me on his side as he handed me my champagne glass. “To us Future Mrs. May.”

“To us, Dr. May.” I said as we both clanged our glasses together not once breaking eye contact as we doused down our champagne like a shot of whiskey. We set out glasses aside and Brian leaned forward and captured my lips with his.

Soon the rest of the night was spent making love to each other, feeling each other’s body and praising one another with words of love. Of course that morning we got some complaints from Roger since he was technically our next door neighbor but both Brian and I knew that he was happy for us.

#bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody movie #bohemian rhapsody imagines #bohemian rhapsody x reader #brian may #brian may x reader #gwilym lee #gwilym lee!brian may #gwylim lee!brian may imagine #gwylim lee imagine #gwilym lee!brian may x reader #brian may x reader fluff #queen #queen imagine #queen imagines

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nottheripperjack · 5 years

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JACK’S PLAYLISTS....

IN A NUTSHELL

Write My Story - Olly Anna

I'm the only one that can write my story And nobody else's gonna do it for me Anything at all that I wanna be I got it all right in front of me

Polaroid - Imagine Dragons

I'm a reckless mistake, I'm a cold night's intake I'm a one night too long, I’m a come on too strong All my life I've been living in the fast lane Can't slow down

Speechless - Naomi Scott

Try to lock me in this cage I won't just lay me down and die I will take these broken wings And watch me burn across the sky

The Winner Takes It All - ABBA

The gods may throw a dice, their minds as cold as ice And someone way down here, loses someone dear The winner takes it all, the loser has to fall It's simple and it's plain, why should I complain

You - Wrenn

I'm so scared, quiet lover, can't keep my voice down Soon the whole world will know I don't do good in crowds So if I panic and I tell you, don't want you around, know I'm lying To you

My Mistake - Gabrielle Aplin

Am I jaded, am I meant to feel this way I'm a loser, getting beat by my own game But if I falter, well at least it was my mistake Well, at least it was my mistake

Watching for Comets - Skillet

You were a comet and I lost it Watching for comets, will I see you again Everybody needs someone but they can't feel like this How can I breathe with this burning in my chest You were gone so fast, I want you back

My Dark Disquiet - Poets of the Fall

Without names we're fantasizing, dancing like flames, mesmerizing My dark disquiet playing such eerie harmonies Making waves and diving under, lightning to the sound of thunder My dark disquiet singing such haunting melodies

Small World - Idina Menzel

Still rising towards the dark Don't care what's down below 'Cause no one can see me And no one has to know

Sweet Dream - Greg Laswell

If I could write out my own dream, for the next time that I sleep You'd be the first one that I see And I the last one that you keep And the dream would go on and on, while we sway against all things thrown our way And the morning would be so cruel, when it came with sunshine and warmth to blame For announcing the end of my sweet dream For announcing the end of my sweet dream

WORK IT OUT

Work Bitch - Britney Spears

I Like That - Luciana ft. Richard Vission

Bang Bang - Jessie J

The Rhythm of the Night - Corona

Funky Town - Lipps Inc.

Pump Up the Jam - Technotronic

Turn Down For What - DJ Snake

Turn Me On - David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj

Break Free - Zedd ft. Ariana Grande

I Love It - Icona Pop ft. Charli XCX

Can’t Be Tamed - Miley Cyrus

Call on Me - Eric Prydz

TIME TO FEEL LIKE SHIT

Keep Breathing - Congratulationz

I want to change the world, instead I sleep I want to believe in more than you and me But all that I know is I'm breathing All I can do is keep breathing

Magnetised - Tom Odell

'Cause it's not right, I'm magnetised To somebody that don't feel it Love paralyzed, she's never gonna need me But sure as the world keeps the moon in the sky She'll keep me hanging on, she'll keep me hanging on

Hurt - 2WEI

What have I become, my sweetest friend Everyone I know, goes away in the end And you could have it all, my empire of dirt I will let you down, I will make you hurt

Goner - Twenty One Pilots

Though I'm weak and beaten down I'll slip away into this sound The ghost of you is close to me I'm inside-out, you're underneath

Let Me Go - Startisan

One last time, I tell myself every time But always return to the scene of the crime Just like a ghost to the place where they died Cause you make me yearn to be refused You intimate hope for a life you won't choose

Are You With Me - Nilu

Wake up, stay with me Through the flood and through the fear Right now I need you here, I need you to stay strong To remind me where I came from and where I belong So wake up and stay with me

Ava - Famy

This world is rabid, this world is through Follow me through an empty dream, I’m sleeping next to someone new My conscience burning, my beastly flaw The headache pill, the necktie on my bedroom door I’m such a coward, these wretched things I do Disgrace and treachery I’m a sickness and I know its true

One Day I’ll Fly Away - Vaults

I make it alone, when love has gone Still, you made your mark, here in my heart One day I'll fly away, leave your love to yesterday What more can your love do for me When will love be through with me

Anger - Sleeping At Last

Till it all spills out Reckless but honest words leave my mouth Like kerosene on the flame of doubt I couldn't make it right

Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor

Don't go, you're half of me now, but I'm hardly stood proud I said it, almost Oh, I've been low, but dammit I bet it don't show It was heaven a moment ago I had it almost, we had it almost

GOOD TIMES GONNA COME

Good Times Gonna Come - Aqualung

'round the bend, the sun is in the sky It's starting to look like it's gonna be, yeah, it's gonna be A bright beautiful day Yeah, the good times gonna come

Wouldn’t It Be Nice - The Beach Boys

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up In the morning when the day is new And after having spent the day together Hold each other close the whole night through

Walking On Sunshine - Katrina & the Waves

I used to think maybe you loved me, now I know that it's true And I don't want to spend my whole life, just waiting for you Now I don't want you back for the weekend Not back for a day, no no no

Feeling Good - Avicii

Stars when you shine, you know how I feel Scent of the pine, you know how I feel Oh, freedom is mine and I know how I feel t's a new dawn, t's a new day, It's a new life for me and I’m feelin good

My Way - Frank Sinatra

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew When I bit off more than I could chew And through it all, whenever there was doubt I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all and I stood tall And did it my way

Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede

I said I'm hooked on a feeling And I'm high on believing That you're in love with me Hooked on a feeling

Build Me Up Buttercup - You, Me, And Everyone We Know

But I love you still, I need you More than anyone darlin' You know that I have from the start So build me up, buttercup Don't break my heart

Shut Up and Dance - Walk the Moon

Oh don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me I said you're holding back She said shut up and dance with me This woman is my destiny

Dancing on My Own - Elle Fanning

I'm just gonna dance all night I'm all messed up, I'm so outta line Stilettos and broken bottles I'm spinning around in circles

Take Me Home, Country Roads - John Denver

I hear her voice, in the morning hour she calls me The radio reminds me of my home far away Driving down the road, I get a feeling That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday

#& jams

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irwinsx · 6 years

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okay here me out: what if like you meet cal & y’all are friends & you like him but don’t wanna date him bc you know he mostly just hooks up but then you overhear him talking to the boys ab how you’re like a game changer & he’s never felt these things before & then y’all fuck & he keeps whispering things like “so beautiful” & “pretty girl” & ugh what a dream

ugh what a dream i unfortunately didn’t write the smut (sorry!) because i knew i was gonna butcher it. but it is super fluffy so i hope that makes up for it.

Words: 1.5k

Triggers: none

Story: In which you finally hear the harmony between your best friend, Calum, and yourself.

im taking writing requests!

“Seriously, stop!” you giggled, pushing Calum with your elbow. You were both grasping controllers in your hands, focused on the screen. Calum had killed your character, once again, irritating you. He erupted in laughter, loving the way you had gotten worked up. He knew you were bad at video games. In fact, it had become an inside joke between you two.

A joke. Ironically, the way you met: a huge joke.

Everything about college was a nightmare. You had forgotten your cutest clothes back home, hours away, and lost your school card far too many times to count. You were late to class multiple times, and only met one person, you’re roomate. She wasn’t friendly, only offering harsh glares layered with stress and annoyance.

Frankly, you avoided her. It wasn’t until two weeks later, on a cold night you met someone.

The street was overflowing with life; the lights beamed yellow along the sidewalk and each bar was opened late night, blasting music and conversation. It traveled in the night sky and danced around the stars. Even at 10pm, your small college town was alive.

You, however, were walking home from the local library and back to your dorm. You avoided the bars, headphones blocking out the movement of sound and feet avoiding miniature potholes in the pavement. Before you could take another step, a sudden tug at your elbow had spun you around, knocking melody out from your ears and your heart into a panic.

Before you knew it, your fist dug its way into a large, tough chest. You heard a yelp of pain and witnessed a man grasping his chest while leaning over.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” you gasped, reaching out to the stranger. A sudden wave of guilt strangled your heart.

“Fucking hell– you just had to punch me?!” he coughed. He managed to stand up straight, revealing a dark blue t-shirt, holding onto his broad shoulders. His black hair fell just above his brown eyes, now piercing into yours.

“Yeah, you, like, grabbed me!” you exclaimed.

“I wasn’t gonna kill you, ya know! I was just playing a … joke!” he said.

“A joke?” you questioned, “where you abduct a woman?”

“No– don’t be dramatic. I was dared to hook up with the first ugly girl I saw. Glad that didn’t work out…” he said, rubbing at his chest. You were suddenly offended, all feelings of guilt fluttering from your heart and out into the sky to mingle among the music and stars above.

“You asshole,” you scoffed. Once again, before your feet could dig into pavement, you were stopped by a familiar grasp.

His grasp.

“Listen, I’m sorry,” he sighed, lowering his voice, “let me make it up to you. My friends may be assholes but i’m not. I’m Calum”

You looked past his shoulder, noticing a group of guys looking over and snickering to themselves, no doubt saving this for a future story while sitting together in suits surrounded by their dolled-up wives.

However, you gave in, and suddenly had a coffee date.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t always kill me off like that,” you said, throwing the controller onto the floor next to you.

It had been a year since that coffee date. You were shocked by the person you met and how different he was from that night. The Calum you met in that coffee shop had made your heart flutter. He made you laugh, filling the world with the sound of your laughter, and what he called, your undeniable smile.

Over the year you two had done it all: sneaked pecks on the cheeks on nights of light drinking, danced in an empty bar at 3 am, jukebox playing Nirvana, tangling around the two of you as he spun you around, almost tripping on your feet. He spent late nights with you in the dorms after your stress induced episodes, holding you at the edge of your cheap twin mattress and whispering jokes into your ear.

“Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?” he whispered, arm around you and his face in your hair, “it has great food, but no atmosphere.”

You laughed, not because it was funny, but because it was Calum, holding you, smiling against your hair and tracing circles into your arm.

And as much as your heart had sung for him, his didn’t sing for you. Instead, his heart jumped from girl to girl, party to party, and you didn’t want that.

You couldn’t imagine a life of just hooking up. Not with Calum, not with someone who made your heart burst in falsetto. So instead, you lingered, hearing about his late night hookups, as if they were trophies on a pedestal.

He would brag, boasting about bar scores, scratching ticks into the wall to count off another body, on another night. Every time he brought up his faux achievments, you thought to take a trophy and break it in half, throw it in the trash or burn it.

But you didn’t.

“Well, I’d appreciate it if you came to the kickback tonight,” he smirked, turning towards you.

“Right, as if I don’t have studying to do.” you replied.

“Studying? Come on– education is for losers!” He laughed, ruffling his hair with his hand.

“Fine…” you said, racking your brain with excuses, “I have a date!”

A silence boomed between the both of you, staring at each other with the paused expression of hiding smiles.

“Not that excuse again. You’re coming tonight, I don’t care!” he said, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, causing you to fall into his chest.

“Fine!” you shrieked, laughing and lightly hitting his chest, “I’ll be there. Promise.”

You arrived to a house filled with modern bleak furniture and concrete floors, leading to a large backyard, wrapped in fairy lights that resemble lightning bugs you used to catch as a child. A smaller group of people were here with you, drinking to light music that waltzed on the flowerbeds outside.

This felt different from most of Calums other events. Those were usually filled with blasting music and screaming people who made out in unlabeled bedrooms.

On your second drink and third guy failing to flirt with you, you still had your mind on one person.

Him. Where the hell was he?

You stepped back into the house, greeted only by people you barely knew and empty cups sprawled on tables. Calum was nowhere to be found, not until you came across an unlabeled bedroom. Then you heard it, like a dog reacting to a whistle.

“It’s just… something else,” you heard from the bedroom. It was Calum.

“Like what?” another voice came from the room. Luke, a friend Calum introduced you to months back.

“I’ve never felt this with someone. Everytime I’m with her I get.. nervous? It’s like I don’t even… care about anyone else. I want to be around her, and only her.” He explained, playing with the rings on his hands.

Metal, twisting up to his nail bed, and back down again, like clockwork.

“Only her? That’s a first,” Luke laughed in a failed attempt to lighten the mood.

“She changed it for me. I don’t care about who I’m gonna hook up with tonight. I just want to see her. I wanna see Y/N” he continued to explain.

“Then see her!” Luke insisted, “Who is stopping you?”

A series of shuffling came from the room, and suddenly you found Luke stomping out from the bedroom, looking annoyed. He whipped past you, leaving you looking at Calum.

The only thing separating the two of you was this door frame, until you walked through it and shut the door behind you.

A silence crept its way into the room, squeezing itself under the doorframe and standing between the two of you. It wagged its tail and jumped, begging for your attention.

You didn’t pay it any. Instead, you kept focusing on the sudden sweat that leaked from your palms, on your heart beating against your ribcage, and the face of your best friend, the boy from the bar with a hurt chest and dark hair.

“Listen…” Calum began, standing up and wiping his hands against his dark jeans.

“You know… you were all I wanted to be around, Cal. Just you, for so long,” you interrupted, looking right into him.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said, “I promise.”

Once again, before you could take a step closer to him, the familiar feeling of his hands on you raced up your spine and back down again. It found its way to your shoulders and into your hands, where they rested on the back of Calums neck. And for a split second you felt your lingering fingers zap against his skin.

And then he kissed you.

Your heart began to sing, crescendoing into a high tune of excitement and nervousness. However, it wasn’t alone. It was paired with another tune that escaped from Calum.

Your hearts, for the first time, harmonized, and silence snuck its way back to the party to beg for attention from other strangers. The melody curved around the two of you, creating the lights of fireflies and street lamps next to bars. That stupid bar, you thought, made your chest sing.

And you both parted from the kiss, still held in embrace, surrounded by twisting sounds and blazing lights like stars.

“You’re so beautiful…” he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

You looked up at him and smiled, your heart still and always in falsetto.

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sinceileftyoublog · 5 years

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Caroline Spence Interview: Mint Condition Her Condition Is In

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Nashville singer-songwriter Caroline Spence is proud of the fact that she writes about relationships, the crux of everything in life. The times when she’s tried not to, she ends up doing so, which she totally embraces on her third and best record Mint Condition. With many of the same collaborators she played with on previous records, like singer-songwriter Erin Rae, guitarist Kris Donegan, and multi-instrumentalist/producer Dan Knobler, Spence made a record that at heart is a complex, self-aware look inwards and outwards that tackle the subtleties of being a woman going through something. “Sometimes a woman stands alone / ‘Cause they’ll turn her joy into sorrow / And she knows her grief is her own,” she sings on standout “Sometimes a Woman Is an Island”.

But she finds time to embrace the imperfections and the grief. Catchy ripper “Who’s Gonna Make My Mistakes” revolves around the mantra, “Who’s gonna make my mistakes if I don’t,” cementing years where others might condescendingly call you “young and dumb” as an essential part of herself. She expects the same “be yourself” attitude towards others, too: On the wonderful acoustic strummer “Sit Here and Love Me”, Spence sings from the point of view of someone in a relationship suffering depression and anxiety telling her partner, “I don’t need you to solve any problem at all / I just need you to sit here and love me.” The album’s instrumentally and aesthetically gorgeous, washes of slide guitar, Wurlitzer, and strings pervading many of the songs. But nothing’s as beautiful in all ways than the concluding title track, which features none other than Emmylou Harris in harmony with Spence, two women of different ages, both in “mint condition.”

Spence brings Mint Condition to Schubas tonight with her band, including guitarist Charlie Whitten, bassist Luke Preston, and drummer Logan Todd. (Spence is on acoustic and electric guitar). Opening for her are singer-songwriter Jordie Lane and his partner Clare Reynolds. She spoke to me just a couple days ago over the phone about the new record, her songwriting process, being influenced by Dan Savage, her latest favorite records, and how in the hell she got Emmylou Harris to sing on one of her songs.

Since I Left You: Mint Condition was finished last January. Does it album still feel new to you?

CS: Yeah, it does, actually. Being on the road the last couple days and playing the songs with the band is kind of bringing them to life for me in a new way. You write them on your own and sing them in your living room and the studio and work their arrangements, but it’s another thing to be inside them every night. They feel newer to me since we’ve tracked them.

SILY: Tell me about the process behind “Song About a City”, the song you co-wrote with Ashley Ray, when you felt like you needed another writer.

CS: Ashley and I have written songs together, and the “Song About A City” was an idea I’ve had for a while. I had the chorus melody and an idea of where I wanted the lines to hit, but I got stuck in wanting it to be a certain type of song and my own patterns of how was executing it. I felt like I trusted Ashley’s voice and asked her what she saw. As soon as she brought her perspective, the idea opened itself back up. It became the song I wanted it to be. That’s the beauty of co-writing. You end up with something that feels like it belongs to you in some way, but it never feel like it comes from just you.

SILY: I love that song because you talk about how you want to write about a place but end up writing about people...but in effect, you did write a song about some places.

CS: [laughs] But they’re also about people. Every record I’ve put out, people are like, “It’s a relationship record!” like it’s some sort of cop out. To me, everything is a relationship record. Every song is about a person. It’s not just a song about a city.

SILY: “Who’s Gonna Make My Mistakes” seemed to me self-aware and self-critical but also an anthem for people who makes mistakes.

CS: [laughs] That one feels like an anthem to sing every night. Nobody’s more critical of me than me, so it’s nice to have those words come out of my mouth every night. Everything I did today was the process of becoming myself.

SILY: “Sit Here and Love Me” is very touching--a really fine sentiment. How have fans reacted to that song?

CS: Actually, that one, just this week, I’ve gotten three different messages on social media. It’s been so, so meaningful. There was one guy whose teenage daughter was going through a little depression, and obviously, as a parent, you want to fix everything for your child, and he said, “It made me want to shift my gears. I just listened to her instead of wanting to tell her everything.” It’s always the person who wants to do the fixing saying, “I never thought about just taking a back seat and helping the person who needs help.” It’s really hard to do that! It’s hard not to take care of everyone around you when sometimes the best way to take care is just to be there.

SILY: You were listening to Dan Savage’s podcast when you made “Til You Find One”. Have you reached out to him?

CS: No! I should do that. I forget what his quote is, but it’s something like, “Every relationship fails until it does it.” The relationship you’re worried about could end, but it also couldn’t. There’s peace in that.

SILY: Do you read his “Savage Love” column?

CS: I used to read it a lot more. He’s so funny, and I’ve listened to his podcasts a lot on the road and his audio book. I just think he’s so witty and clever and down to earth. He definitely demystifies so much of what it means to be a person, and I always love writers like that.

SILY: I may be wrong, but it seems to me to be rare that a title track is last on an album like it is on Mint Condition. Why did you place it there?

CS: At the time we were sequencing, we hadn’t named the record. But it didn’t fit anywhere else. I didn’t know what could follow it because it wraps everything else up in a little kind of bow. All this kind of chaos and questions and worry that are in the other songs--that song sort of lets it all go and puts the thing that matters most up front, which is loving someone else. It felt like the answer to a lot of the questions.

SILY: What does the concept of “mint condition” mean to you?

CS: I found it to be an apt title because even thinking about “Who’s Gonna Make My Mistakes”, when you’re in that part of your life where you’re messing up and trying to figure your stuff out, and falling flat on your face, you’re just as much in mint condition in that moment as you are when you’re looking back on your life with the person you’ve been with for 50 years. Whatever point in you’re life you’re at when you’re figuring your stuff out, you’re exactly how you’re supposed to be. To me, that was what that phrase means to me.

SILY: How did you get Emmylou Harris to sing on it?

CS: We asked her! [laughs] It was really amazing. At first, she said she wasn’t taking any other gigs and was really busy, and a day later, she said, “I feel bad. Send me the song.” So she heard it and said she would do it. She was so gracious with her time. It was truly a dream come true for me.

SILY: You said when writing it you wanted to write a song good enough for Emmylou Harris to sing. And then she did.

CS: She was in my head when I was writing that song. The fact that she was there and thought the song was good, I was like, “What the hell?” I wish I could go back in time and tell the girl writing that song on her bedroom floor that’s what happened.

SILY: What are some of your other favorite songs to play from the record?

CS: They’ve all been fun. It’s the first time I’ve played a lot of these out. I’m really enjoying playing anything from the new record, and it’s been fun to pick and choose ones from the last record that fit in with the new songs. I’m into the set we’ve drafted for this tour.

SILY: You’re a big Patty Griffin fan. Do you like her new record?

CS: Yeah! I saw her play at the Ryman. It was really wonderful.

SILY: What else have you been listening to, watching, or reading lately that’s caught your attention.

CS: I’ve been super into the Better Oblivion Community Center record. I saw them play in Nasvhille and it was so great. I loved Bright Eyes in high school, and I love Phoebe [Bridgers’] record. I’ve been really into that.

Album score: 8.0/10

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em-ajor · 6 years

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Overcoming Composer’s Block for Young Composers

Alright this is probably gonna be a long one but I figured if I post some advice to other young composers, (and honestly, a lot of this applies to artists in general to some capacity) I’ll be more compelled to follow it myself.

Composer’s block is a bitch. It can make you feel completely inadequate, no matter how much successful music you’ve composed in the past, and it can throw you into a cycle of being overly critical of the things you do write. This usually just makes it worse.

In this post I’m going to address the root causes of different kinds of composer’s block and how to get to the bottom of it, as well as some tips and tricks for how to get your creativity flowing again.

Usually, composer’s block is really just you making excuses about why the things you’re writing won’t work, or why you can’t use them. Unnecessary filters, if you will. I’m literally still in high school, so the most common source for me is varying kinds of imposter syndrome. First let’s break down what imposter syndrome can look like:

It almost always comes down to the phrase: “I’m not a real composer, because....”

1) “Because I don’t even [insert some qualification you think you should have to be a real composer]”

Maybe it’s that you can’t actually play the instrument you’re writing for as well as you feel you should, or that you don’t play it at all. Maybe it’s because you feel like all your music sounds the same. Maybe it’s because you don’t compose using the method that you think “real composers” use. (Ex: you think “real composers” should just compose using a pencil and paper or by sitting with their instrument, whereas you have trouble getting anything that sounds good when you’re not using a notation software to create your music.)

I can guarantee that there’s a very accomplished composer somewhere out there that breaks whatever imaginary “rule” you’ve set for yourself. Even if you don’t know it. Even the most successful composers likely don’t always feel like “real” composers either, and everyone has a different process and style. That’s the thing. No one is a “real” composer because there’s no such thing as “real” and “fake” composers. There’s no magical secret or enlightenment that suddenly makes you successful and worthy of being taken seriously. This applies to every artist. You just kinda have to make your way up the food chain by just... creating as much stuff as possible, seeking out opportunities even when you don’t think you’re worthy or “good enough” for them (we’ll get to that in a minute) and persevering. People may have more experience and musical knowledge than you, sure, but there’s always someone out there that has more experience than them, too. And as far as the actual process of creating music, no one, not even the best composer, always feels like they know what they’re doing any more than you do. Everyone is an “imposter” because if everyone knew some universal secret to becoming a “real” composer, everyone’s music would sound the same. Remembering this usually helps me to realize that these “filters” I put my creative process through aren’t helpful and that I’m holding myself back.

2) “Because people are overestimating my abilities as a composer. I don’t deserve this [insert position/task you’ve been given] and I’m going to let people down and they’ll see that I was fake all along”

There’s a reason you’ve been given this position. Think of what that reason is. Chances are you’ll immediately want to find an excuse to discredit it: “Well they heard my best piece but I could never write anything that good again,” or “they know I compose but they’ve never actually heard my work. They just assumed I was good and I accidentally oversold myself.” There’s still value in both those reasons, even if some parts of those negative thoughts might be true. If they heard your best piece and thought it was worthy, obviously you’ve proven that you’re capable of writing good music, which means you can do it again. Plus, no successful composer performs the crappy music they threw out. Remember that every composer writes bad music sometimes, you just don’t get to hear it. .

If they’ve never heard your work before but they know you compose music, they are interested in seeing what you will create and likely aren’t expecting you to be perfect anyhow. Someone had enough faith in you to give you this task, and you don’t know whether you’re able to do it unless you try. Let your music speak for itself and you’ll likely be surprised at how it’s received by others. If nothing else, by continuing to create music and step out of your comfort zone, you’re learning. There is a lot of value in that alone. An opportunity where you didn’t quite meet your expectations or those of others, but still learned something, is never a wasted opportunity.

3) “Because I like this music but it’s too simple/cliché/[insert other elitist concept] for real musicians/critics to take seriously”

In this era of modern music, of dissonance, and of new, avant-garde, and frankly, sometimes pretentious music, it’s easy to feel like your style has gone out of fashion already or that you simply can’t compete with the complexity of today’s work. To this, I say screw it. Take it from someone who actually had a critic condescendingly tear apart my first piece to ever be properly performed for being too “traditional”. Throw that rhetoric right in the trash where it belongs. Musical styles and concepts go in and out of fashion the same way clothes do. Remember that the style of an era is defined by the music written in that era, and NOT the other way around. Are you writing music? Do you exist currently in what we consider to be the modern era? Congratulations, you’re writing modern music. I know, I know, you’re all saying: “Okay sure, Emily, but the industry doesn’t think that way, and my having that mindset won’t make people take my music any more seriously.” Here’s a little known fact: the Baroque era’s music usually had a “mood” intended by the composer, contrary to the popular belief that it was purely mathematical. Vivaldi’s Four Seasons were inspired by sonnets and the works are also known as “The Contest Between Harmony and Invention.” It was actually the Classical era that saw this concept go out of fashion, when music was not supposed to mean anything, portray emotion of any sort, or be linked to any form of expression. The idea that music conveyed meaning was scrapped in the classical era, only to be brought back again twofold in the romantic era. All this to say, styles come and go, and YOU are part of the force that dictates those styles.

There was once a brilliant composer whose music was said by critics to be too “old fashioned,” simply a fad that would eventually be forgotten. This composer was Sergei Rachmaninoff, who lived from 1873-1943, around the same time as Scriabin (1871-1915) and Shönberg (1874-1951.) Many people are a little shocked by this juxtaposition, and by the stark difference between the music of the latter two composers and that of Rachmaninoff. People didn’t take him seriously during his career, but now he is hailed as one of the greats. This proves that a composer’s passion shows through their music, no matter whether or not it conforms to the stylistic norms of the era, and that complexity and novelty for their own sake don’t mean anything if the integrity of the composer/music are sacrificed to achieve those things.

Now that we’ve discussed some of the ways that young composers often sabotage their own work with pre-conceived ideas of how their music should be created, let’s talk about some strategies to get back into the “flow” after having addressed the root of the block. This can be especially stressful if you’re on a time crunch and you’re worried about meeting your deadline.

Get the cake out of the oven before you start decorating it.

That’s to say, don’t sweat the small things like entering lyrics, dynamics and slurs until you’ve at least hashed out an idea for your work. This can even just be a melody line or a chord progression, but it’s always better to work in layers than to just work “horizontally” (”horizontally” meaning making sure each measure is perfect and polished before moving onto the next.) Working horizontally almost ALWAYS disrupts the creative flow, especially if you get yourself on a roll. You can even get away with leaving a couple blank measures here and there if you have point A and you know what you want point C to sound like, but aren’t sure how to get there yet. If you worry too much about point B right away, you might end up sacrificing a really good idea you had for later on in your piece just for the sake of one or two measures. An added benefit to this strategy is that maybe, once you come back to it, your point B (as we’re calling it for the sake of this explanation) will end up morphing into a whole new section of your piece. If you feel like that’s even better and it should replace the idea you were originally making your way to, then at least you know you tried both and liked this idea better.

2. Take what you have apart and put it back together again.

Focus on one aspect and see where you can take that aspect alone. Maybe it’s tapping out your rhythm over and over again, or isolating a single instrument or motif. Maybe it’s reading through your lyrics with different intonation. With lyrics, I find it helps to copy-paste them into a document and take out the “lines” to make it one big paragraph. (Leave any punctuation that would naturally be there anyways, of course.) This can help you bypass the boring and often repetitive rhythm that usually comes with poems in order to discover new and more interesting ways of phrasing things. Often, this approach even makes more sense because you can let the natural rhythm of the words shine through instead of forcing yourself into a rigid pattern.

3. Don’t get “stuck” on one idea.

Sometimes you have a really cool idea in theory but it just doesn’t work out on paper. I’ve been guilty of shoving my cool ideas into my music by whatever means necessary, often sacrificing literally everything else. It never works, trust me. Just because Bach can have a four part stretto and somehow make it perfectly seamless, it doesn’t mean you have to. In fact, as a matter of personal opinion, I think that music should be appreciated for how it sounds first and foremost, and then it should be appreciated for its technical value and craftsmanship. That’s just me, but regardless, being able to let go of ideas that just don’t work is a great skill to have. (It’s harder than it seems, too, especially if you’re an idea/concept-oriented person like me.) Plus, who knows? Maybe this particular piece just isn’t the right place for that awesome idea and you’ll be able to recycle it later.

Finally, stay true to your vision, no matter what. In an industry like this, where even the most well known modern composers are sometimes struggling financially, it’s easy to sell out. However, it’s important to remember that each composer’s unique vision is what makes the musical world so diverse and interesting. If your vision doesn’t fit into today’s mould, be a trailblazer, and never shy away from something you’re excited about because you think people won’t be ready for it. The music people aren’t ready for can often be the most ground-breaking

#composer #music #classical music #composer's block #block

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satansverser · 6 years

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“- If it's not gonna be that and it's not gonna make us any money, then why... - And those are your two polarities? Priorities or whatever. Money's just money. You gotta take that out of the equation. Now what? - That's what I was saying. It's not just... - No, no, you can find a reason. And I wanna find out what happens, too. So, no money. What have you got left? You've got... other people. You got Clara, you've got time. Time's a big one. But you've got about as much as anyone else, give or take. What about God? Maybe you've got God. Do you? - What? Have God? - Yes. - No. - Okay. - Well, here's how I break it down. A writer writes a novel. A songwriter writes a song. A symphonist writes a symphony... Which is maybe the best example because all the best ones were written for God. So, tell me what happens if Beethoven's writing his "Ninth Symphony..." and suddenly he wakes up one day and realizes that God doesn't exist. So, suddenly all of these notes and chords and harmonies that were intended to... you know, supersede the flesh... You realize, "oh, that's just physics." So Beethoven says, "Shoot... God doesn't exist, so I guess I'm writing this for other people. It's just nuts and bolts now." He didn't have any children, that I can recall... But if he did... - He had a nephew. - He had a what? - A nephew, he had a nephew. - Okay. Great. So he writes it for him. Or Immortal Beloved. Yes. Or for whoever that was. But let's leave love out of this and let's wrap this all up under the blanket of someone thinking... "This is something that they'll remember me for." And they did. And we do. And sure enough, we do what we can to endure. We build our legacy piece by piece and maybe the whole world will remember you, or maybe just a couple of people, but you do what you can to make sure you're still around after you're gone. And so we're still reading this book, we're still singing the song, and kids remember their parents and their grandparents and everyone's got their family tree and Beethoven's got his symphony, and we've got it too. And everyone will keep listening to it f... for the foreseeable future. But that's where things start breaking down, because your kids... Do you have kids? Wait, who here has kids? You? Your kids are gonna die. Yours too. Yours too. Hey, just sayin'. They're all gonna die, and their kids will die and so on, and so on. And then there's gonna be one big-one big tectonic shift. Yosemite will blow and the Western plates will shift, and the oceans will rise, the mountains will fall, and 90% of humanity will be gone. One fell swoop. This is just science. Whoever's left will go to higher ground and social order will fall away and we will revert to scavengers and hunters and gatherers... But maybe there's someone, someone who one day hums a melody they used to know. And it gives everyone a little bit of hope. Mankind's on the verge of being wiped out, but it keeps going a little bit longer, because someone hears someone else hum a melody in a cave and the physics of it in their ear make them feel something, other than fear or hunger or hate, and mankind carries on and civilization gets back on track. And now you're thinking you're gonna finish that book. But it won't last. 'Cause by and by, the planet's gonna die. In a few billion years the sun will become a red giant and it'll, uh, eventually swallow Earth whole. This is a fact. Now, maybe by that point, we'll have set up shop on some completely different planet. Good for us. Maybe we've figured out a way of carrying with us all these things that matter. They've got a photocopy of the Mona Lisa out there, someone sees it, mixes a little bit of alien dirt with some spit, paints something new, the whole thing keeps going. But even that doesn't matter. Because even if some form of mankind carries some recording of Beethoven's "Ninth Symphony..." all the way into the future, the future's gonna hit a brick wall. The universe will keep expanding and it'll eventually take all matter with it. Everything you've ever strived for, everything that you and some stranger on the other side of the planet share with some future stranger, on some entirely different planet without even knowing it, everything that ever made you feel big or stand up tall... It'll all go. Every atom in this dimension will be pulled apart by force as simple as... And then all these shredded particles will contract again and the universe is gonna suck itself back into a speck too small for any of us to see. So you can write a book but the pages will burn. You can sing a song and pass it down. You can write a play and hope that folks will remember it... Keep performing it. You can build your dream but ultimately none of that matters any more than digging your fingers into the ground to bury a fence post. Or... or fucking. Which I guess is just about the same thing.”

A Ghost Story

#heartlessdrunk #movie #a ghost story #quote

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cowboylikedean · 7 years

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Reputation Track by Track

..Ready For It?

I had to sit with Ready For It a while before I liked it as much as I claimed to.. But I do really love how it straddles the line between honest and satire. I think that’s the most beautiful part of this song. It also introduces rap this album, which gets expanded on in End Game directly following.

Fave line: He can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor

End Game

I would love this song if you took out Future’s verse. Maybe it’s that I know the love story Ed and Taylor speak of in their verses… Maybe it’s the fact I like their music outside of this song better than Future’s… But his verse just shakes me. I’ve been trying to work my editing skills to edit it out because I honestly love this song without that verse.

Fave line: With four words on the tip of my tongue, I'll never say it (side note: he’ll say it, she’ll say yes, and I’ll die.)

I Did Something Bad

Okay so everyone thinks this song is about Kanye and I think that they’re ridiculous to think he’s the only target. It’s also obviously the “I had fun taking credit for TIWYCF and making my shitty ex-boyfriend have a meltdown on twitter” song. Like idk how you could miss that…. Anyway, it’s one of my absolute favorites. This is like the “rip a man’s heart out of his body and laugh” part of Aphrodite. Like I adore this song so much… what kind of female empowerment of “men are so stupid I love to hurt them fuck men” song like I love… I can’t.. I don’t have words. That said, there is something about this song I hate. The auto tune in the bridge is a bit much for me. I can get used to it.. but the “reasons” will always grate at me. It feels so T-Pain to me… I hope on tour she does it without an auto tune.

Fave line: Crimson red pain on my lips

Don’t Blame Me

I had to warm up to this one… I was spoiled on it being gospel influenced and I was hoping for a big chorus and it’s a lot more lowkey than that. That said, if you can listen on incredible speakers. there are harmonies and choir elements you can’t hear on normal speakers. This is gonna keep growing on me, I can feel it. In a few weeks, this song will by my whole heart and life.

Fave line: Just playthings for me to use

Delicate

I will be honest, I did not like this one last night. Now I love it… but it still feels a tad boring to me. I’ll just have to have some time with it. I’ve been so wrapped up in the rest of the album that I’m looking over this song. I LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE the vocoder.

Fave line: Stay here honey I don’t wanna share

Look What You Made Me Do

Y’all know I love this song… I just don’t understand its placement in the tracklist. Delicate ends on such a light and airy loving note and then you get to LWYMMD and it’s so…. Harsh. I think LWYMMD is something that should have been earlier in the album and I think the album should have warmed up instead of this back and forth… It just… Feels… Odd. In the middle of the love story of the album. That said, I do still adore this song.

Fave line: I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams.

So It Goes…

My least favorite. It’s not my favorite sound… But I’ve gone from “ugh I’m annoyed” to “this is nice background noise” so I suspect I’ll get to “I like it, but I don’t love it” pretty soon. I do like the chorus A LOT better than the verses. And I like the bridge. I just feel like the music is a little too loud and I can’t hear the lyrics of the verse as much as I’d like. I think they’re great lyrics and I wanna hear them. Also the auto tune gets a little much for me in the verses of this song too.

Fave line: We can feel it…… And our pieces fall right into place.

Gorgeous

This is still one of my fave tracks on the album. It’s funny cause the transition from So It Goes… to Gorgeous feels a bit harsh to me but I don’t care at all because I love Gorgeous so much. I could write a book on what I love about this song (which I will probably end up doing) and there is nothing I don’t love. It is flawless.

Fave line: You make me so happy it turns back to sad

Getaway Car

Another with literally ZERO flaws. This song is flawless. It is Taylor does Bleachers and I love Jack for putting himself into this song this much and I love Taylor for being so honest and I feel the emotions of the getaway car and running away from something with something else and that never being good and I just… I love every lyric. I love every note. I love everything. I even love the distortion in the beginning. It just feels like this song is so powerful and important. I know Ready For It will open tour but I wish this would end before the encore. I have nothing more to say other than I could write a book, hopefully I will. This song is my heart and soul

Fave line: Said goodbye in a getaway car OR Nothing good starts in a getaway car

King of My Heart

The pre-chorus took a hot minute for me to get used to because is just a drastic change from the verse… But I love this song a lot. I love the breakdown SO FUCKING MUCH! Also the bridge is one of the best of this album. I CANNOT! I also don’t mind auto tune and the fucking HIGH NOTES just… I love this song.

Fave Line: Is this the end of all the endings?

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

The mix tense of this song confuses me a little. Not in a way where I don’t like this song. I think it’s a better version of IKP with like a nostalgic throwback kinda feel. The way she says “rushes IN” literally saved my life. This song is just so chill and then the breakdown comes in the chorus and it’s so sexy. It kinds reminds me of like late 70’s? idk if I’m the only one who hears that but it just feels like that…. It’s just chill like that. Other than the mixed tense, I see no flaws with this song either.

Fave Line: I’d hold you as the water rushes in OR Baby could we dance/Oh, through an avalanche

Dress

Dress is my angel babe heaven sent girlfriend. This song is about the intimacy of knowing someone completely and sex being a tool with which to express that and engage with that level of knowing. Honestly, it’s a sex song that I, a celibate ace, can relate to. Because while the sex is an important part of the song, the emotional feeling of intimacy is the driving force of the song. My favorite thing ever is to close my eyes and sing the chorus as breathy as it can possibly be. Moan into it. Feel yourself get lightheaded and taken over with the passion. It is literally one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever experienced. And the bridge… Shows and explains that this song is about sex as an expression of love. Which is just… my favorite kind of sex song. Furthermore, that part where everything actually does stop……. like……. cmon…….

Fave line: And if I get burned, at least we were electrified

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Again, everyone keeps saying this is about Kanye and I don’t know how you could miss that this is a breakup song to the media and general public. Like…… Did everyone just like forget that like…. She’s done with them? Anyway, the siren at the beginning is of note. I love that she compares 2015 to The Great Gatsby. Gatsby’s wild parties were all an elaborate way to win over Daisy… Taylor’s entire persona in 2015 was an elaborate way to win over the media/public. It’s nice, fun, extravagant… But it was never real. Funny how that happened…. I also love the way she comes down and sings “nice things” so sweet at the end of the chorus. I could also write a book about this one. Only thing I don’t get is why this doesn’t come right after LWYMMD. Like why does it come where the love story is heating up? I’m just confused?

Fave lines: Feeling so Gatsby that whole year OR It was so nice being friends again OR They didn’t care about the he SAID she SAID

Call It What You Want

So everyone knows I love this song too. Living a relationship where no matter what happens, no matter how bad it gets, there’s someone who’s there and who makes you feel better… your safe space… It’s indescribable and yet Taylor described it in this song. There is one thing I find interesting listening to this song in the album. It coming right after This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things gives the “negative” stuff in the verse a new meaning. It’s not sadness and fear interrupted by the love, happiness, and safety of the relationship… They’re mild annoyances. And there’s this quiet shock and acceptance from Taylor about them not being sad scary things. I love that we got to hear this song outside the album first because it allowed me to feel both meanings and I think they’re both important. Also my favorite part of this song is the “would you run awaaaaayyyyyyy” during the “yes” and I feel bad that I never sing the “yes.”

Fave line: He built a fire just to keep me warm OR Making forts under covers

New Years Day

This song is Speak Now grown up on an album three albums later. It also sounds so much like Ed… Like the melodies sound like songs of Ed… and I love it. There’s not much I could say about this song that everyone doesn’t already know. I think the end with that repeated piano bit that decrescendos is pretty but I wish it didn’t feel like it stopped in between the repetitions… It feels disjointed and that’s a little strange. If the pause wasn’t so noticeable, it just got quieter instead of stopped, it wouldn’t feel awkward to me… but it does stop and that feels so strange.

Fave line: I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe/Or if you strike out and you're crawling home

Overall thoughts

Something that is beautiful throughout the album no matter what song you’re on is background vocals. I usually love background vocals, but for me they are the star of this album. Every single song has such beautiful complexities expressed in the background vocals I could never suss my thoughts out to explain them. I’m blown away.

However, I have mixed feelings about the album as a whole. The tracklist feels weird. I wish LWYMMD was a one off song that was not a part of this album because its ugliness is the most beautiful thing about it but it doesn’t feel like it belongs. Ready For It also feels a little too much for me for the rest of the album. I think LWYMMD would belong much more to me if it wasn’t in the middle of the love story. I also just wish…. we had a cohesive story. It goes back and forth… The songs are beautiful in their own right… But if Gorgeous is when she met him, why isn’t that the first of the love songs? It just doesn’t make logical sense to me… Maybe I just need more time with it but it just feels like all these beautiful songs are in the wrong order.

On that note, I feel like the best songs are all concentrated at the end. After So It Goes… There is not a single song I don’t love with my whole soul. After Gorgeous there’s not a single song I would classify as “not one of the Taylor Greats.” Which means that every lackluster moment is in the top half of the album. It makes me feel really annoyed when New Years Day ends and the album restarts because I feel obligated to sit through the first half of the album and I’ll be quite honest.. Before Gorgeous, there’s only one single song I love. Not like the rest of the album. I love Ready For It, but I don’t love it. It doesn’t consume me. I would love End Game without Future’s verse. But Future’s verse is there and there’s no escape. I love I Did Something Bad. It’s the only one. I will love Don’t Blame Me… so let’s count two. Delicate bores me a bit, though it’s growing. LWYMMD feels out of place and harsh even though I do love it… I don’t know that I love it as a part of this album. And So It Goes bores me and isn’t quite my groove. I just love the bottom half so much that it’s hard for me to get excited about the top half at all… Which makes me feel conflicted. Because I love the bottom half so much I cannot ever say I don’t love this album with my soul but I don’t engage with the top half that way so I don’t know how to respond.

Other than that… I love it thematically and I love the references to “gold” in the album. A really nice touch to have that move from song to song.

All in all, this album ranked up against the other Taylor albums for me is in between Speak Now&Red and the other three. Which is a HUGE step up from 1989 which was far below the other four. She followed her worst album with a solid B+ from me. Which I think is pretty damn good. Not A/A+ like Speak Now and Red, but still exceptional.

#reputation track by track #taylor #reputation #taylor analysis

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dream-a-little-bigger-x · 4 years

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Chapter 13 -- Perfect Harmony | Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Emily Fox is a talented 17-year-old with a passion for all things music. Her dream is to become a successful singer-songwriter one day. But to achieve that dream, she needs to get into one of the most prestigious music schools in her district – it’s all been part of her plan since she was six. Sadly enough, those schools cost a ton of money that her parents don’t want to invest. They don’t even want her to pursue her dream. So, now Emily’s hustling, working at the music store to save up to get into college. That’s until she meets Charlie, an annoying seventeen-year-old boy with the same dream as her. The only difference is, he’s just doing it. He doesn’t need a fancy college to pursue his dream to become famous with his band. He just writes his songs and books small gigs here, there and everywhere. Will meeting Charlie defer her from her dream college, or will he actually help her achieve the dream?

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x OC (Emily Fox)

Warnings: mentions of death, sexual assault

Important note: the characters of Charlie, Owen, Jeremy and Madison are based on the characters they play on the show and i do not own their names, only OC are mine. The songs aren’t mine either, they’re all from the show except for one.

Chapter thirteen

~|Emily Fox|~

“Good morning, party girl!” Uncle Mitch shouts a little too loudly on a Sunday morning. “You look rough.” I sit down at the kitchen table on the opposite of him. “Gee thanks,” I rub my face harshly, then rest my head on my hand with my eyes shut. “You got in late last night. Didn’t think you’d stick around at a Brianna Holly party for so long. It surprised me you went in the first place, but you know, you do you.” My eyes shoot open at the reminder of last night. Jake’s eyes. Jake’s hands. On me. Jake’s lips. On me. “I shouldn’t have gone,” I tell him honestly which only earns me a worried look. “I mean, it was fun teasing Brianna a little and standing up for myself and playing a song with the boys but then Jake…” I trail off, not wanting to talk about it but Mitch and I are all about the open-book-policy. Talk about anything and everything with each other even if it might worry the other. Better to share the load than take all of it on one’s shoulders. “What did he do?” Uncle Mitch’s voice sounds darker, heavier. Almost villainous. “He was talking about how great we used to be and that he wanted it back, I think? I don’t really remember what we’d talked about, all I know for sure is that he’d tried to kiss me. The boys had to literally tear him off me.” Mitch’s eyes are intense, but at least he’s not trying to go and murder Jake. “We left pretty much straight after that and the boys took me to the Music Store. We stayed there, talking, pretty much all night.” I smile at the memory because even though what preceded that beautiful moment was literally the worst thing, it’s still a moment to cherish forever. “I’m glad those boys were there to help you out. They sound like great friends.” I smile a little and nod determinedly. “Wish I could hear you guys play.” “We’re having band practice later tonight, if you want to come and li—” I can’t even finish my sentence, because Mitch has already gotten up excitedly, dancing around the kitchen – though I wouldn’t call that dancing – and running up to me to hug me tightly. “But first!” He lifts a finger in the air. “Let’s grab all the snacks and watch some movies!” I nod excitedly and get up to gather up some snacks. With hot cocoas and all the chocolate in the world, we settle onto the sofa with blankets wrapped around us and Disney+ open to pick a movie since today is Disney day. We alternate between Disney+ and Netflix, one week Disney, the other non-Disney. “Can we watch Aladdin?” I suggest, mainly because it reminds me of mine and Charlie’s moment on the balcony, unbeknownst to my uncle. It’s been a little while since we’d made out on the balcony. Might have to suggest it soon. Mama needs her sugar. “Your uncle Bobby loved that movie,” Mitch comments as he presses play, “Do you remember you two singing A Whole New World together when you were really young, and he gave you a bath?” I nod my head at the far, but beautiful, memory. “That first weekend I came to stay at this house?” Mitch nods his head, “Yeah, I used to make a Sultan out of Bobby with the bubbles.” Uncle Mitch laughs at the memory. “The bathroom was such a mess after that!” I can’t help but laugh at the desperation in Mitch’s voice. “But you two were the cutest duetters alive. I loved having you around when you were really young too, you know? Still so innocent, not knowing how big and bad the world was. It made me forget about the big, bad world too.” I smile at him and rest my head on his shoulder. I don’t know what I’d do without Uncle Mitch. Live on a street, I guess? Probably? He might not be family by blood, but he sure does feel like it. I never knew anyone being with Uncle Bobby than Mitch. They were my one true pairing. I wanted someone to love me the same way they loved – and still love – each other. Their bond is unbreakable.

“Ready to go, Mitchy?” I ask when we’re both changed out of our pajama’s after dinner, ready to head to Jeremy’s garage for band practice. It’s the first time we’ll be rehearsing in his garage, but I’m excited to find out where Sunset Curve previously used to rehearse. Pre me. “Yes! I am ready to partaaaay!” I roll my eyes at him, an amused smile on my face. “Behave though? Don’t go and embarrass me on the first day meeting them, okay?” “Yes, mom.” Mitch can be such a child, but I love that about him. “Boys?” I knock on the wooden door that’s ajar. There’s some rummaging inside, but nothing else. I push it open to find all three boys inside already. Charlie’s sorting through his loose songbook papers, Jeremy is tuning his bass, and Owen just sitting on the couch, playing around with his drumsticks. “Hey! I brought my uncle; I hope you don’t mind?” “Oh, not at all!” Jeremy says, and gets up from his spot on the armchair. “Hey, I’m Jeremy,” he introduces himself with a smile, reaching his hand for my uncle to shake, which he does. My uncle has this look on his face that I recognize as his gaydar. He literally scans people to find out their sexuality. His gaydar is very accurate. “Mitch, nice to meet you.” Owen gets up next, shaking my uncle’s hand too. “I’m Owen, the drummer,” he shows the sticks in his hand. “I see,” Mitch replies with a smile, and then comes Charlie. “Hey, I’m Charlie, I’m—” he points at me, and I know what he’s going to say, but I can’t have him tell my uncle about us yet. “The lead singer!” I chime in and give him a knowing look. “Right, yeah, the lead singer,” Charlie looks kind of hurt, and it breaks my heart in two as well. Just an us-thing, for now. Then it can be an everyone-thing. I hope he understands. “Nice to meet you, guys!” Mitch then leans closer to me, “And which one of the two cute semi-straight boys is the Cutie from the Music Store?” he whispers with Charlie just a few feet away. His head turns slightly and his mouth curls upwards. He heard Mitch. “Semi-straight?” I ask for an explanation. “Jeremy is questionable.” “Right…” I trail off, still whispering, “Let’s get to work, guys,” I speak up now, so the band knows I’m talking to them. Uncle Mitch looks a little hurt at me ignoring his question, though I’m pretty sure he knows it’s Charlie. “What song first?” Charlie queries while my uncle takes a seat on the couch and we get ready. “Why don’t we let the guest choose?” Jeremy suggests, pointing at my uncle. “Me?” I nod my head, encouraging him. I’d told them all the songs we’d made or already sang together. Which are three, four if you count This Band Is Back. “I really liked Perfect Harmony when Ems showed it to me the other day.” Charlie and I exchange a glance, a shy smile plastered on his face, and I’m pretty sure mine mirrors his. He goes to grab his acoustic guitar for this one. “Perfect Harmony it is, then!” Owen says and counts us in. Where Charlie and I imagined the soft beat and melody, that’s where Owen and Jeremy come in with the drums and bass. We’d only practiced this one a couple of times before. It still has the same, electric vibe it did when Charlie and I sang it alone. I still feel the same sparks, the same tingles rushing over my body. “I feel your rhythm in my heart, yeah,” I sing without taking my eyes off of him. “You are my brightest, burning star, woah-woah” “I never knew a love so real” “So real,” he echoes. “We're heaven on earth, melody and words When we are together we're In perfect harmony Woah, woah Perfect harmony Woah, woah Perfect harmony” I glance at Uncle Mitch. He’s staring at us with so much pride and intensity. When he catches my glance, he mouths “Cutie from the Music Store”, which makes me smile like an idiot. He knows. “We say we're friends We play pretend You're more to me We create a perfect harmony” Uncle Mitch gets up off his seat, clapping and whooping like an intense fan. “My favorite song ever! So beautiful!” he shouts in between cheers. We play Now or Never, and, upon Jeremy’s request, This Band is Back before calling in a break. “I need a wee,” I say and patter towards the bathroom in the back. When I’m about to head back inside, I hear the boys playing a song I haven’t heard before. Or at least I don’t think I have. It intrigues me even more when I hear Mitch’s voice through the microphone. “Let me introduce myself We got some time to kill Consider me the pearly gates to your new favorite thrills We could go make history or you could rest in peace But here there ain't no misery Cause on the other side we live like kings” I find the boys in their regular spots, Uncle Mitch probably having told them what chord to play in or something. Either that or they’re just playing around, and Mitch’s song just matches. “Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Let your body loose, let your body loose Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Show you a thing or two 'Cause you ain't seen nothing” That’s when I recognize the song. It’s the one Uncle Bobby wrote for a Halloween musical at his school once. It was the villain song of the whole story and stuck in all our heads for months. I still know the words, and thus decide to sing along with my uncle, much to the boys’ surprise. “Life is good on the other side of Hollywood Life is good on the other side of Hollywood So welcome to the brotherhood Where you won't be misunderstood Life is good on the other side of Hollywood” I get behind the keyboard and play a couple of notes, leaving the verse for my uncle. “Everything has got a price but happiness is free Just so happens, you're in luck We've got a vacancy We can set the night on fire and break out of the scene Your soul print on the walk of fame On the boulevard of your wildest dreams” I now grab a mic too, properly wanting to join in now. “Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do boys? Let your body loose, let your body loose Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do boys? It ain't bragging if it's true Now you ain't seen nothing” I walk up to Jeremy whilst I sing along to the chorus and Jeremy’s shredding the bass. “Life is good on the other side of Hollywood Life is good on the other side of Hollywood” I walk over to the drumkit and jam out for a moment with Owen. “So welcome to the brotherhood Where you won't be misunderstood Life is good on the other side of Hollywood” I then move to Charlie while my uncle gets to the bridge. The boys stop playing and clap along with me. “The rain don't blind the rising souls They got too much to see I got your glamour, got your gold Got all you'll ever need Let me hear you now!” The boys have somehow remembered the lyrics my uncle just sang, and sing them with me now. “The rain don't blind the rising souls They got too much to see” “Yeah,” Mitch goes for a high note, chilling my spine. “I got your glamour, got your gold Got all you'll ever need,” the four of us continue. “Yeah,” Another high note from Mitch. The boys now pick up their instruments again. “I said watch me make a move, watch me make a move boys” “Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?” the boys and I echo. “I said watch me make a move, no, I don't disappoint” “Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?” “Watch me make a move I'm ya number one choice” “Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?” “Watch me make a move Come one and give me that noise” The boys take a break. “A tomb with a view Ain't it something?” And pick it back up with a bit of bass before all three of them join in again, and even join me into singing the backing vocals for my uncle. “Life is good on the other side of Hollywood Life is good on the other side of Hollywood So welcome to the brotherhood Where you won't be misunderstood Life is good on the other side of Hollywood So welcome to the brotherhood Where you won't be misunderstood Life is good on the other side of Hollywood” Charlie and Jeremy stop playing and leave Owen a little drum solo.

“Ain't it the best? Long live the dead!” Mitch shouts out dramatically, and then Owen goes off again on his drums. “I thought your Uncle Robert was the musically talented one?” Charlie asks with an impressed smile on his face. “How do you think we met? It was musical night in our favorite bar, and we sang a song together. That first scene in High School Musical?” The boys nod, knowing what he’s talking about, “It’s based on our story… Just straight.” The boys laugh light-heartedly at his story. “That’s not true,” I whisper, making them laugh even more. “That was a fun song though! How did you know it?” Jeremy asks me. “Uncle Bobby wrote it. He is – was – the music teacher at this high school and he wanted a cool villain song for the villain in his Halloween musical, so he wrote himself one. The song used to be stuck in our heads for months on end. It surprised me I still knew it.” “The boys were playing around with their instruments and it reminded me of Bobby’s song,” Mitch tells me, “I couldn’t help but chime in and start singing.” He wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. “It’s such a tune,” I say with a smile, “I think Bobby would’ve liked us singing it together.” “I think so too,” says Mitch and he presses a kiss to my hair. “Let’s get home now, yeah? Give your boyfriend a kiss and we’re off.” Charlie and I freeze, neither of us expecting Uncle Mitch to know about this since I never told him. “Oh, come on. You could not sing Perfect Harmony without staring at each other like that heart eyes emoji-thingy. I don’t only have amazing gaydar, I also have amazing love-dar.” He winks at me as I shake my head in disbelieve, but I can’t help the smile either. My uncle knows me well. “See you tomorrow, guys,” I say with the most awkward wave. I mean, I’m not going to kiss Charlie in front of my uncle. Especially when he specifically told me to do so. That’s just weird. Uncle Mitch gives me a look, which I shoot back. He then rolls his eyes. “I’ll meet you outside. Say goodbye properly.” He leaves the garage, and then it’s the four of us. Neither Charlie nor I move, still unsure of the public displays of affection in front of the boys. “Seriously?” Jeremy groans before leaving the garage with Owen. They’ll be able to entertain my uncle for a while. I don’t even know why it’s so hard for me to show PDA. It never used to be this way with Jake. But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe us taking it slowly and not showing us off too much is healthy for us. “I’ll see you at the store tomorrow?” I ask whilst the two of us slowly walk up to each other, inching closer and closer by the second. “Definitely,” he replies with a smile. Once we’re inches away, he grabs my hands in his. “Isn’t your uncle going to be annoyed you didn’t tell him sooner?” I shrug. “I don’t think so. He knows how private I am about relationships. And besides, you heard him, he’s got amazing love-dar.” Charlie’s laughter intertwines with mine. “I think he knew before today already too. He’s all-knowing.” “As long as he doesn’t know about our sneaky dates on your balcony, I think we might be fine.” I chuckle at that comment, and then both of us fall silent. “He probably knows this’ll happen though.” The words come out just above a whisper as he inches closer and dips down. His lips meet mine in a sweet, somewhat long-lasting kiss. “I’m pretty sure they’re eavesdropping, though,” I say when we pull away. “No, we’re not!” Jeremy shouts from the other side of the door. “Yeah, definitely,” says Charlie, and he lets go of one hand, intertwining the fingers of his other hand with the one he’s still holding. He leads me out the door and then lets go of that hand too. “She’s all yours, Mitch,” he tells my uncle, and reaches out the hand he’d just held mine with for a handshake. “Hey!” I shout, “I’m no property!” Both Charlie and Mitch raise their hands in defense. “Yes, girl! Tell ‘em!” Owen preaches, holding his hand up and I slap mine on it in a high five. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” I kiss Charlie’s cheek quickly and then leave the boys with Uncle Mitch. “They’re really nice boys, Muffin. I’m glad you’ve found them.” I smile at that. “Me too, Mitchy, me too.”

Taglist: @parkeret @lukeys-giggle @hannahhistorian92 @gingerxarmy @marinettepotterandplagg @lovesanimals @thequirkybookaholic @calamitykaty Lemme know if you want to be on my taglist for this story/any of my other works!

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #charlie gillespie #jeremy shada #owen joyner #madison reyes #charlie x oc #oc emily fox #luke patterson #reggie jatp #alex jatp #julie molina

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bobbystompy · 5 years

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My Top 75 Songs Of 2019

Previously: 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

First time going below 100 songs since 2015, and I cannot wait. Giving this extra juice already.

As always, criteria and info:

This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track

Each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check them out for yourself; there is also a Spotify playlist at the bottom that includes the majority of the songs

This is usually the part where I put up a pump up video, but we are going with something a little different this year.

youtube

(It was stuck my head. Blame Blink-155.)

75) YG - “In The Dark”

The video begins with YG chugging a full tequila bottle -- sure. This song is very bad. It’s like he’s in a competition to make the verse lyrics worse than the chorus lyrics (spoiler alert: the verses “win”); not even satanic imagery can save this.

74) Solange - “Stay Flo”

Here’s a weird take: wouldn’t Solange’s career be way more fun if everyone slept on her? Instead, it’s hype on hype -- plus being Beyoncé’s sister -- which makes it nearly impossible to deliver. This has a fun beat/vibe but is kinda boring... and was still easily my favorite off her album.

73) Art Alexakis - “The Hot Water Test”

My doctors told me that I had a disease / I will slowly fall apart until there’s nothing left that looks like me

This song makes the stakes clear immediately. It was released a few months after I saw Art play in June 2019 on my birthday. At the intimate show, he revealed his multiple sclerosis diagnosis as if we were all his closest friends. Something like this is never easy to deal with -- a similar announcement by the Lucky Boys Confusion singer did not help matters -- but music can help such a painful situation, and it’s clearly Alexakis’ exile here.

72) The Cranberries - “In The End”

A very suitable sendoff for the band following the passing of singer Dolores O’Riordan. The recording story (via NPR):

O'Riordan died suddenly in January 2018 at 46 years old and left behind the vocal tracks to what was intended to be the band's latest album. Now, O'Riordan's bandmates have decided to complete that album, In The End — the last album the band will release — in her memory.

[...]

In June 2017, O'Riordan and Hogan started emailing album ideas and demos back and forth to each other. O'Riordan had been very open about her struggles with mental health and addiction, which would affect the band at times, but they wanted to make a new album. Hogan says that when they were emailing those demos, she was in a good place. They started laying down her demos.

"All of that was kind of behind her," Hogan says. "She's kind of found a way to cope with the mental health thing. That's why she wanted to write so much. That's what she kept saying, 'I have so much to say, I just need the music to put it to.' "

Hogan says O'Riordan's apparent stability is what made her death even more tragic and devastating. (Officials ruled O'Riordan's cause of death to be accidental drowning due to alcohol intoxication.) But after a period of mourning, the remaining band members remembered they still had O'Riordan's demos. As Hogan remembers, they finally had the courage to start listening to them again in late February and, with her family's permission, started recording in April. "We spoke to her family and said, 'Look, how do you feel about us finishing the album?' And they were really supportive," Lawler says. "They were delighted, actually. They gave us their blessing."

Hogan says, in a sense, they were used to O'Riordan not being in the studio when they recorded — "Dolores hated hanging around the studio once we worked on our parts" — but, of course, this time was different.

71) Raleigh Ritchie - “Time In A Tree”

Exercise time. Play the first minute or so of this song without looking at any YouTube visuals.

/waits for you

OK, who are you picturing singing this? Got your image?

Well, whatever it was, you’re wrong -- it’s GREY WORM HIMSELF.

This was the best thing about “Game of Thrones” in 2019, sadly.

70) Culture Abuse - “Goo”

Simple, effective, gets out before you can dislike much.

69) Lil Pump f/ Lil Wayne - “Be Like Me”

Sometimes, a song starts, and you can just tell it’s going to be ignorant. Even before the vocals kick in. This was probably our moment here:

Between that and the beat, it’s like the only thing you can think is “Ohhhh, he’s about to say some horrible things about women.”

Other choice lines:

- “Yes, I’m hella ignorant, I don’t give a fuck” (he even says it in the song)

- “I take drugs like it’s Vitamin C / I’m a millionaire, but I don’t know how to read”

This song almost feels like it existed already.

68) The Get Up Kids - “Satellite”

Finally, our first rock song with some punch. This probably takes the crown from both DMB and P.O.D.

67) Bad Religion - “My Sanity”

BR is historically my favorite band, so it is rather deflating to see them so far back on this list. That said, it is Year 40 (!!!) of their existence, so some can be forgiven. Yet... we’ve never needed them more, you know? It’s this weird mixture of resentment but understanding.

66) Billy Liar - “The Righteous & The Rats”

Gonna see him (them?) open for The Bombpops in March; looks quite promising. Has an old school Brit punk feel.

65) Beach Slang - “AAA”

Beach Slang never lets you forget they love -- no, like, LOVE -- The Replacements. When this cover dropped, I googled “replacements AAA”, and, surprisingly, nothing came up.

Ohhh, what I fool I was. After more digging, I discovered a band called Grandpaboy who performed “AAA”.

“Oh, damn -- he finally went outside the box with this pick.”

No. Grandpaboy is fronted by Paul Westerberg. Singer of, you guessed it, The Replacements.

James Alex wears his heart on his sleeve so hard, he might as well give the heart a little jacket so his heart can wear its own heart on its sleeve.

HE DID THAT TOO?!

You can’t even make jokes about this band; they live in the jokes with their damn earnestness.

64) Gesaffelstein & The Weeknd - “Lost In The Fire”

Even lesser known Weeknd-involved tracks sound like they could lead a soundtrack or close out a festival. Are you familiar with this one at all? It has 87 million views on YouTube. Abel is never not not playing.

63) FIDLAR - “By Myself”

Started from the bottom and I’m still at the bottom

Falling apart never felt so carefree and burdenless.

62) Constant Elevation - “Fuck Runnin”

As hardcore punk as this list is gonna get. All glory to Vinnie Caruana. Though none of his solo tracks from 2019 made it, this has an undeniable energy and confidence. Plus probably the best song title of the year.

61) Maren Morris f/ Brandi Carlile - “Common”

A focused duet that drills into relationship dynamics before throwing a personal theology wrench in the middle of the chorus.

60) Anti-Flag - “Christian Nationalist”

AF going in on the white, religious right. This is like throwing a 50 mph pitch to -- /looks up good baseball players -- Pete Alonso.

59) Cokie The Clown - “Punk Rock Saved My Life”

This is less of a song and more of a confessional essay, and it gets harder and harder to look away with every revealing detail. If NOFX’s Fat Mike needed this character as a vehicle to get all of these autobiographical details off his chest, hopefully it’s a helpful therapy.

58) White Reaper - “Might Be Right”

“Judy French” is such an untoppable song, but “Might Be Right” has a similar dynamic.

57) Denzel Curry - “RICKY”

Denzel Curry as a rap moniker is such a slam dunk.

/looks up actual name

!!!

56) Ariana Grande - “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored”

It takes a special kind of hot girl twisted to issue this unflinching request while totally pulling it off.

55) Goody Grace f/ blink-182 - “Scumbag”

Not sure if Goody is a Soundcloud rapper, punk rocker, or some kinda emo hybrid of both.

A few asides:

- Have we ever -- ever -- heard Travis Barker this subdued on drums?

- On the Blink-155 podcast, Goody said he gave Tom from the Plain White T’s a songwriting credit because he unintentionally lifted some melodies from “Hey There Delilah”, but... I really don’t hear it at all; like, it sounds maybe in the same key but not much else?

54) Jonas Brothers - “Sucker”

Despite their popularity in the past, I do not think I could name a single JoBros song. That changed in 2019 with this poppy, light, clappy, Maroon 5-style single.

53) Goo Goo Dolls - “Money, Fame & Fortune”

Someone -- coulda sworn it was Brendan Kelly -- said this was Goo Goo Dolls sounding like Fake Problems, and that is spot on.

52) AJJ - “A Poem”

A poem is song that no one cares about

This short, folky tune led to one of my favorite Twitter exchanges of the year, when I reached out to a music journalist with a question and AJJ came flying off the top rope.

51) DaBaby - “Suge”

This song is fun, but I really don’t get it. Beat is cool, flow is fine... this is the new face of hip-hop? His name is DaBaby! What are we doing here?!

50) Laura Stevenson - “Jesus, Etc.”

Taking a classic and doing it full justice/adding some harmonies.

49) blink-182 - “Not Another Christmas Song”

Blink’s 2019 album “Nine” was very, very bad because it tried too hard and was not good. This song, released later in the year, takes an opposite approach and actually works. We get lyrics that are discontent, even clumsy at times -- the “I miss fucking in the rain” line is so out of place/cringe-y but actually feels real and not workshopped by 10 producers. The trio can hopefully use this better b-side to figure out the best songwriting should flow out of you without having to go through multiple stations on a conveyor belt first.

48) Dave Hause - “Eye Aye I”

This song has a lot I love (catchy chorus, wistful thoughts, hairline analyses) and a lot I don’t (genuine use of the word “old bores”, Van Halen getting respect), but one thing is clear: Dave Hause is in complete control.

47) Beck - “Up All Night”

I’ve casually followed Beck’s entire career and would not have guessed this was him if given 100 chances. As an exercise, I’m going to pull up the 2020 Coachella lineup and randomly point to an artist.

/pulls up lineup and points

I got Daniel Caesar. If you told me this was Daniel Caesar, that would probably make more sense here.

46) Shawn Mendes - “If I Can’t Have You”

Randomly came into Shawn Mendes tickets in 2019, and good gracious, that was something. Other than parents, we were the oldest people there by a lot. Getting to watch thousands of teens and preteens legitimately having the best moment of their lives was downright inspiring. When you’re that young, it’s not even hyperbole. Phones were flagrantly out; I’m talking 20+ minutes of straight video being filmed. I wanted to judge so badly, but if you gave me an iPhone at my first concert when I was 14, who the hell knows how egregious my behavior would’ve been. As fun as the whole experience was, I never wanted to be in a grimy punk club more. Sometimes, leaving your comfort zone makes you appreciate your home base more.

This is a rock solid pop song, but there are way too many you/you rhymes to not penalize it some.

45) Big Thief - “Cattails”

The whitest song you will ever hear that isn’t written by Vampire Weekend.

44) Bayside - “Prayers”

Bayside went super metal with their 2019 release “Interrobang” (such a sick name). So yes, the guitars are a touch harder than you might be used to, but the chorus soars; a great hook transcends genre.

43) Naughty Boy & Mike Posner - “Live Before I Die”

Few had as interesting of a year as Mike Posner. Following a breakup, the death of his father, and the death of Avicii, he decided to walk across the United States of America. He legit became Forrest Gump, right down to the beard and grown out hair.

In the video, you can see how a snakebite hospitalized him and almost derailed the whole trek. After a rehabilitation period where he almost lost his leg, our man finally makes it to the Pacific Ocean. If nothing else, watch for the ending -- it’s exhilarating.

42) Post Malone - “Wow.”

Post is flexing in this one; we’ve got slow motion jamming with the Red Hot Chili Peppers, international flights, a dancing beard guy, and a Fall Out Boy name check which really makes them sound cooler than they are now.

41) Bryce Vine f/ YG - “La La Land”

Sometimes, these summertime Cali songs write themselves. That is until YG comes in and flips over the board before you can finish the game. By the time the Coachella reference is dropped when Bryce comes back in, you realize 1:47 may have actually been a better endpoint for the song than its 2:47 length.

40) David Rokos - “Backseat Drives”

It’s winter in Chicago, again and until forever. If you haven’t been to the Jewel in the South Loop or Marshall Field’s before they changed it, just listen to this so you don’t actually have to.

39) Simple Creatures - “Drug”

Mark Hoppus and the dude from All Time Low give us this synth-pop bop that feels like the duo shooting their shot at a real mainstream pop hits. It didn’t quite get there, but they should feel OK about where it landed.

38) Chris Cresswell - “To The Wind”

My interest in The Flatliners ramped up considerably in 2019, as their near decade old record “Cavalcade” got plenty of spins (peep “Filthy Habits”; just stunningly incredible punk). Though they did not release anything this year, their singer put out “To The Wind”, a longing song about missing someone.

37) Kesha f/ Big Freedia - “Raising Hell”

Kesha, with the help of New Orleans’ Big Freedia, gives us another one. I’ve personally dug Kesha for a while now, but when is it time for us as a society to put her into the all-time conversation for pop artists? She has at least, like, seven HOF certifiable bangers. Plus she kills a guy in this music video.

In conclusion, I think this could translate to a country song very easily.

36) No Lenox - “Marquee”

Illinois/Japan’s No Lenox are back with Reuben Baird on the mixer and legendary masterer Collin Jordan (of The Boiler Room) on the, well, master, and the fullness in sound leads to the assault that is the “I saw your name on the marquee / Your friends were milling around outside” part. They only play it once, but I really could’ve gone for closer to five.

35) Red City Radio - “Love A Liar”

Rapid fire Red City Radio gets this one done in exactly 120 seconds.

34) Barely March - “Lead Single”

This sounds like Joyce Manor turned up to a 17 out of 10 before unexpectedly turning into a hellogoodbye song.

33) New Lenox - “Old Words”

Not a typo from two songs ago -- legitimately a different band. This one was written by your boy. The first 15 seconds were from a demo recorded 1/2/16 before developing the rest in 2019 (after some encouragement). We have Dave Rokos on guitar/bass, Dave Hernandez on hums, and Brian Bedford on some very temporary sleigh bells. Themes: online dating, resolutions, exes, currents, Black Wednesday, hope, and Carly Rae Jepsen stage banter.

32) MakeWar - “Sails”

Honey, I can’t make it on my own

You might get some Gaslight Anthem vibes as the vocals come in, but by the time the song ends, MakeWar leaves their own imprint on this impassioned ballad.

31) Sheryl Crow & Johnny Cash - “Redemption Day”

Was gonna say Johnny’s voice could move mountains before realizing no, Johnny’s voice is the mountains.

30) American Football f/ Hayley Williams - “Uncomfortably Numb”

Sensitivity deprived I can't feel a thing inside I blamed my father in my youth Now as a father, I blame the booze

An unlikely collaboration that makes you forget about its unlikeliness by the two minute mark. The two voices trade spots, mesh, harmonize, and weave throughout this beautiful song.

Asides:

- Blake from “Workaholics” in the video?!

- Choose to interpret this song’s title as a Pink Floyd diss

- “I’ll make new friends in the ambulance” should be a 2005-level emo lyric that we all mock, yet it’s somehow one of the most stunningly appropriate closers of the entire year

- I wish my friend Luke was with us to hear it

29) Stuck Out Here - “Embarrass You”

Stuck Out Here got onto my radar with 2014′s amazingly named “Getting Used To Feeling Like Shit”. Five years later, they’re back -- and not feeling much better. The Toronto quartet’s Bandcamp describes the song like this:

They’re fucking up, but unlike previous releases, they’re finally holding themselves accountable.

You can even kinda hear their Canadian accents in the “I’m sorry I embarrass you...” part.

28) The Weeknd - “Heartless”

The Weeknd will be on these lists as long as he continues to make music even 1/8th as good as this.

27) The Chainsmokers f/ blink-182 - “P.S. I Hope You’re Happy”

A simple song that’s a touch more clever than you first realize. The Chainsmokers guy is giving me some real Owl City vibes. Also, how airtight of an apology is the line “I blame myself for when I was someone else”. It’s like the modern way of saying “When I was a child, I spoke like a child”.

Also also, the “I will find a way somehow...” harmony in the pre-chorus is as pretty as music got in 2019. The Chainsmokers are so sonically pleasing, whether you end up liking the music or not.

26) Vampire Weekend - “Harmony Hall”

ooooooooh, that crisp guitar in the intro

25) Alex Lahey - “Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself”

If Carly Rae Jepsen can get a sword, why can’t Alex Lahey get a god damn saxophone? HIT ME.

That solo, combined with the “Mighty Ducks” reference in the chorus, make this song untouchable.

24) Lizzo - “Truth Hurts”

Let’s be clear: this did drop in 2017 but was technically re-released in 2019, so it does qualify for our list despite the criteria threatening timeline. Anyway.

The walking piano part, the iconic intro line (with a lawsuit!), the Minnesota Vikings reference (causing a Green Bay radio edit), and all of the damn positivity. Lizzo was among music’s big winners this year, and her success made you wonder how the hell someone this talented was slept on for those two years.

Let’s end with the purse.

23) An Horse - “Ship Of Fools”

Awkward band name, but a song that makes you pay attention. Kinda like Tegan and Sara, had they stayed more rock. So much urgency in the vocals and lyrics.

22) Charli XCX f/ Lizzo - “Blame It On Your Love”

Trippy vid; Charli continues to give us anthems. Wasn’t super high on the Lizzo cameo, but it somehow made more sense in the context of said video.

21) Sincere Engineer - “Dragged Across The Finish Line”

Sincere Engineer is back -- you can tell from the second those guitar leads get goin’. Drums from 1:19 to 1:36 = /heart eyes emoji. My buddy Cox said his next tattoo very well could be the outro lyric “Too dumb to succeed, too honest to cheat”.

(Bonus fact: they did a beer collaboration/show with Pollyanna Brewing Company in 2019.)

20) Lil Nas X - “Old Town Road”

Was unwilling to listen when this first dropped solely because of how horrible Lil Nas X’s name is (”What if a rapper came out named ‘Lil Jay-Z X’?!”)... what a foolish notion. One billion streams and a Billy Cyrus cameo later, I wouldn’t have been able to miss out on the Song of the Summer (and year) if I tried. More notes:

- Picked this because I had to, but “Panini” is legit good (200+ million streams)

- Went with the original (sorry, Billy), which is a beautiful 1:53 long (brevity, brevity, brevity)

- Did you know: Lil Nas X uses a Nine Inch Nails sample on the beat? This Rolling Stone interview with Trent Reznor is super interesting

Reznor calls “Old Town Road” “undeniably hooky,” but once it exploded, he took a back seat to the phenomenon. “The reason I haven’t stepped in to comment anything about it is, I don’t feel it’s my place to play any kind of social critic to that,” he says. “It was a material that was used in a significant way and it turned into something that became something else, and those guys should be the ones the spotlight is on…. They asked if I wanted to do a cameo in the video, and it was flattering, and I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I don’t feel like it’s my place to shine a light on me for that. I say that with complete respect.”

Still, Reznor is amazed at how the song became a juggernaut. “Having been listed on the credits of the all-time, Number One whatever-the-fuck-it-is wasn’t something…I didn’t see that one coming,” he says. “But the world is full of weird things that happen like that. It’s flattering. But I don’t feel it’s for me to step in there and pat myself on the back for that.”

19) Gryffin & Carly Rae Jepsen - “OMG”

What doesn’t this little bop have? It’s kinda Chainsmoker-y and tingles like cool breath hitting the back of your neck.

18) Craig Finn - “Blankets”

You travel your whole life just to get out to the place you’re gonna die

I love everything about this song: the artwork, the intro, the climax, the command Craig Finn has from start to finish -- with such a payoff. Now several albums in, the greatest compliment we can give is that his solo stuff now feels more essential than Hold Steady releases*. You can even hear it in this line: “When we got to the Twin Cities / I said ‘Man, I know some songs about this place’”. Another life.

17) Carly Rae Jepsen - “Now That I Found You”

Carly always keeps us in the sky; picking one song was difficult because the album is even more fulfilling as you get to put the pieces together.

16) Billie Eilish - “Bad Guy”

Different genres*, but Billie Eilish lived up to her hype in the exact same way Lana Del Rey did in the earlier part of the decade. Lana said she was the gangster Nancy Sinatra and totally fucking was. Billie feels like something potentially even bigger. Nearly everything about her aura lets you project (or even second guess, if you’re a skeptic). Is she dead-eyed because she’s high or disaffected? Or just Aubrey Plaza? Is it her or her brother that’s pulling the strings? How can someone so young be so good already? In the skinny fashion era of All Achilles Everything, how is she rocking such loose fits?

“I never want the world to know everything about me. I mean that’s why I wear big baggy clothes,” she said. “Nobody can have an opinion because they haven’t seen what’s underneath.”

“Nobody can be like ‘Oh, she’s slim-thick, she’s not slim-thick, she’s got a flat ass, she’s got a fat ass,’” she continued. “No one can say any of that because they don’t know.”

It almost seems too easy, but how much sense does that make to you?

Great jokes aside, I have so much anticipation for what’s next, with assured belief in its potential. Pitchfork:

In 10 years, she will still be well under 30. Let’s hope the planet survives that long.

Yes.

(* - though not totally)

15) Ben Gibbard - “Filler”

Before you check Gibbard’s, please listen to the original by Minor Threat. That’s what he had to work with. From there, a total transformation while doing the near impossible -- keeping its beating heart.

14) Martha - “Wrestlemania VIII”

youtube

Third favorite song title of the year/favorite music video of the year. This is energetic, bratty punk at its finest; also surprised to find out it was British, but, based on the upcoming tour dates and YouTube description...

This is a silly & frankly quite rubbish video but when you are a band trapped within surveillance capitalism's endless hunger for content trying to promote a tour sometimes things will be a silly & frankly quite rubbish.

I love them. Seriously didn’t even notice the accents in the singing until I knew to look for them; now, it’s all I can hear. Also, the part in the video where they finally show someone with an instrument, only he stops playing guitar halfway into the solo (/crying emoji).

THEY SAY ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDA

13) Chance The Rapper f/ Ben Gibbard - “Do You Remember”

Chance The Rapper dropped a one hour and 17 minute album in 2019 because he is a monster. I could not name three songs on it, but this one stood out big. It’s Chano doing what he does best: reminiscing and evoking summer in his city. Gibbard on the hook gives it that 2005 nostalgia while also making you say “Damn, it’s been nearly 15 years since 2005?!”

Fav two lines:

1) “Used to have obsession with the ‘27 Club’ / Now I'm turning 27, wanna make it to the 2070 club / Put the 27's down, Lord, give me a clean lung / Took the ring up out the box, I know this ain't no brief love”

2) “That summer left a couple tan lines / I love my city, they let me cut the line on the Dan Ryan”

(If you know, you know.)

Two more asides:

- If you Google “death cab for cutie”, the next autofill from there is “do you remember”. Rough for the legacy.

- “My daughter on the swing like the 2017 Cubs” is a line that confused me, but here’s how Genius explained it:

Chance is talking about a memorable summer and the things that made him happy. This line continues that theme when he raps about his daughter happily on a swing and how that’s similar to the 2017 Cubs. The Chicago Cubs won the World Series in 2016; therefore, the 2017 season was one of celebration and relaxation as the pressure of the 108 year drought was over.

12) Lana Del Rey - “The Greatest”

I miss Long Beach, and I miss you...

Listening to this song feels like watching the cement dry on a classic in real time. Lana Del Rey’s galactic “Norman Fucking Rockwell!” dominated lists at the end of 2019, and she -- to borrow her word -- fucking deserved it.

- The Beach Boys line is so god damn perfect

- The guitar solo (soooo sick)

- The breathy singing; the crooning; the notes that go up and then down until you’re surrounded by melody

- The perfection of this album name (minus the very iffy exclamation point) will have me comparing nearly any other all-time album title for probably the rest of our lives

- Tried playing this album during my Monday night pickup basketball run, and it very much failed... but that’s about the only thing it couldn’t do

- I’m told the dude with her on the album cover is Jack Nicholson’s grandson (named Duke Nicholson, because of course)

11) Off With Their Heads - “No Love”

If you do not like punk rock, this will be unlistenable. If you do, what a treat! I love how dissatisfied and put off he sounds, and, while there are a few more lively songs remaining on the list, none in 2019 got fast-tracked to my workout/pump up playlist at this speed.

Factoring in the band’s van accident (occurred after the release of this song), the “There’s nothing I could say that’s ever gonna make it right” outro becomes hauntingly clairvoyant.

10) Drake f/ Rick Ross - “Money In The Grave”

We need to face facts: it was a down year for stadium hip-hop. Nowhere on this list do you see Jay, Em, Kendrick, or Kanye (rest in peace). This was my favorite rap song of the year, and it couldn’t even crack the Top 5. Similar to his beloved Raptors -- who are being celebrated here -- it’s almost as if Drake needed some injuries outside his own locker room to get the crown. But I’m done being bummed, let’s focus on the good:

- Ohhhh, the intro (”I mean where. the fuck. should I. really even start?”)

- The way he says “grave” in the hook like he can barely contain

- The hook itself -- read it out loud: “When I die, put my money in the grave”

- How cool Ross sounds when he breaks in

- The Zion reference

The bad:

- Rarely take this angle, but really wouldn’t mind if it were longer

- Misogyny

9) PUP - “Bloody Mary, Kate And Ashley”

Second favorite song title of the year, 6/8 time signature, satanic references, drugs, hallucinations (maybe), and, yes, the Olsen twins.

8) Better Oblivion Community Center - “Sleepwalkin’”

“It’s impossible to count...”

The intro, as the tempo gets jarringly slower and slower, ironically helps you acclimate quicker. This Phoebe Bridgers/Conor Oberst collab was my No. 1 played track of 2019 (the album coming out in January definitely helped). The song builds to Phoebe’s solo part:

You like beer and chocolate I like setting off those bottle rockets We can never compromise But fighting 'til the death keeps us alive

It’s sung so well, you can almost feel the heat of the spotlight on her through the stereo. The lyrics could be anything.

The chill guitar solo takes us out.

7) AM Taxi - “Saint Jane”

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Adam Krier is such a rockstar, he had me shouting “I’m no hero, at best a zero!” within my fifth listen -- and I was skeptical as hell when I first heard the line. But that’s about where it stopped. You can tell this song is going to rip even before the vocals come in. When they do (”These fears don’t die, you get older and they multiply”), it’s just fucking time to go.

6) Taylor Swift - “Paper Rings”

My favorite pop song of 2019. Tay is firing on all cylinders; every lyric is exactly where it’s supposed to be; boppy and fun and sincere (while still being light-hearted). Still holding out minor hope it will be a single in 2020.

5) Pkew Pkew Pkew - “The Polynesian”

I’ve always said the best songs make you want to live the lyrics, whether they are positive or negative. This one had me researching “polynesian wisconsin” faster than I’m comfortable disclosing. And yes “bed bugs” and “needles” were both in the Top 7 recommended searches after those first two words.

Pkew Pkew Pkew collaborated with Craig Finn on some of their lyrics on 2019′s “Optimal Lifestyles”, and I’d be blown away if he doesn’t have fingerprints on this one -- the storytelling is pristine. Go into this open-minded, and I’d be shocked if you weren’t shouting the “Goatees, tall cans, camo pants, and Packers fans” mantra by the end.

Bonus story: this St. Patrick’s day in Chicago, I asked my friend Sara (Wisconsin native) if she’d ever stayed there, and she held up her elbow and showed me a scar from the hotel’s water slide. Your boy was over the moon.

4) Spanish Love Songs - “Losers”

It gets harder, doesn’t it?

Dylan Slocum has a way of not just writing depressing songs -- many lyricists are good at that -- but specifically depressing songs. This song contemplates death, homelessness, squandering your limited time on the planet, credit card debt, leeching off your parents because you have no other choice, crippling illness, and completely giving up because there genuinely is no other choice. The last lines are, without any hint of winking, “We’re mediocre. We’re losers. Forever.”

It’s wonderful.

Two straight Top 4 finishes for SLS; their 2020 album should be something special.

3) oso oso - “the view”

If Jade Lilitri is making personal progress in “microscopic strides”, you wouldn’t be able to tell by his songwriting. Every tune has a way of warming up your entire body and being. This grabs you, whether it’s the laid back guitar or the mismatched quick drums or the big ass chorus. While it came down to this one or “basking in the glow” (an actual single), the bridge here puts us over the top:

But not as much as the phone ringing Not as much playing my house Not as much as the way her goddamn voice sounds It's like taking in sun And then taking it back I fall into old habits I'm stepping over your cracks again

Her voice? This song.

2) The Menzingers - “Strangers Forever”

This song makes me want to rip up walls, sprint through streets with no destination, shred my lungs screaming off rooftops, bash hands drumming the steering wheel until my sprained fingers beg me to stop. It is such a perfect encapsulation of my favorite band of the decade and possibly of all-time.

Scranton’s sons gave me everything and more from 2010 through 2019, so it’s fitting they end so high here. This is probably the most clownable sentence of them all, but I am so constantly thankful I am alive to experience Greg Barnett’s songwriting. What he creates, I can only compare to the best books or movies or athletes or even personal relationships.

The way the guitar alternates in the headphones to start, the drums that go big and push the song along, the reverb vox that certainly could have less reverb, the “it is what it is”-style lyric of “My miserable memory’s making me more miserable”, the oceanic imagery, the quiet bridge that explodes into a final chorus. Barnett said the overall theme was inspired by Leo Tolstoy’s “Anna Karenina”.

In it, the character Darya Alexandrovna learns of her husbands infidelity and declares: “Even if we remain in the same house, we are strangers — strangers forever!” The idea of becoming a stranger to someone you so intimately know stuck with me, and became the overarching narrative to this song. Dolly’s statement is definitive, but she also realizes the trappings of 19th century patriarchal Russian society. It’s a complex conundrum, and while lyrically I speak in the first person, this song exists in a world outside of my own personal experiences. I wanted to write about the finality of relationships that need to end this way. Strangers Forever.

My only gripe is I wish there were more. But I’m the same person who never wants them to stop.

1) Signals Midwest f/ Sincere Engineer - “Your New Old Apartment”

Only one song could make me fear missing the chance to be with the love of my life the same year I married her. As discussed in “The Polynesian”, the best songs have the consistent ability to put you in someone else’s shoes. You are either reliving something you personally experienced or maybe taking it all in for the first time. And that can be powerful -- especially dealing with anything big picture.

“Your New Old Apartment” launches me into 2009 without ever asking. Age: 23. My life was transient, I had no career, I didn’t even believe in marriage. I left my retail job in the Chicago suburbs for an unpaid newspaper internship in New Jersey. When I saw the people I loved, I always tried to make it count. Still do.

The descriptors and feeling are suffocating, right from the jump:

I only saw you a couple times last year Once at a wedding, once at a funeral I wore the same clothes to both, and I was worried you would notice ‘cause yours were impeccable

That’s me, then. Not knowing how to dress but hoping to get by anyway. I remember talking to my buddy P before buying my “work clothes” and learning you needed to match your shoes with your belt. Boyish adulthood.

The song continues, and the narrator is filled in on 5-year plans. It may be cliche to speak, but every current moment is simultaneously your youngest and oldest. Being in my early 30s now, it is so easy to scoff at anyone’s best laid plans, but I’m also the same cat who thought The Wonder Years’ “Jesus Christ, I’m 26 / All the people I graduated with / All have kids, all have wives, all have people who care if they come home at night” was life-defining, because I was the same age when that dropped, and it always hits the hardest when it’s all around you.

What I love about these lyrics are the careful observation mixed with mature-behind-his-years restraint. For a very long time in my life, I did not think I would get to be with my wife as anything more than a friend. When you are forced to come to terms with those potential realities, you must make concessions and convince yourself they’re OK. So when it’s revealed the narrator’s muse is married, he resigns himself to hopefully seeing the person more and at least being adjacent to the life they are living. It is tragic but still something. It is alternate hope in the hopeless.

I can picture myself listening to this song that wasn’t yet written while leaving a 2009 or 2010 or 2013 wedding and wishing I told her everything. But I wouldn’t have -- not then. I would have poured my heart out into a diary and quoted a line or three from this at the bottom. But that was then, this is now.

In 2019, her new old apartment will be my new old apartment, and that will never be lost on me.

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Bonus coverage. Since we are at the end of the decade, I rounded up our No. 1 song from each year and have that below:

2010: The Menzingers - “Time Tables” 2011: Jay-Z & Kanye West - “Gotta Have It” 2012: Carly Rae Jepsen - “Call Me Maybe” 2013: Kanye West - “On Sight” 2014: The Menzingers - “Where Your Heartache Exists” 2015: Big Sean f/ Kanye West - “All Your Fault” 2016: The Menzingers - “Lookers” 2017: The Menzingers - “After The Party” 2018: Horror Squad - “I Smoke The Blood” 2019: Signals Midwest f/ Sincere Engineer - “Your New Old Apartment”

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It’s time to stop writing. Thank you so much for reading.

Spotify playlist is here, featuring 70 of the 75.

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