#as they ended up being in the bulk of all this lmao

[frobby]

i love madoka magica however i dont think we as a fandom talk enough about how tragic madoka herself is. probably because the narrative itself steers you away from thinking about her personally. shes not a character shes a desire that homura has, shes a force of good, shes homura's foil. but those are all madoka's narrative roles but madoka herself as a person is not really looked at because we are viewing this world from an unreliable narrator(homura) who only sees madoka as those things. The best thing homura could have done for madoka was give up on her, to let her go. because every time we go back in time the image of madoka is distorted, she loses more of herself every regression of homura's as she tries harder and harder to save her. We don't even know what madoka originally wished for to become a magical girl in the original timeline. and she actually acts quite differently than the madoka we meet. shes a lot more honest and caring and bold. by the time homura's has reached the actual anime madoka has been reduced by the sands of time to a figment of herself. she has no wants or desires of her own beyond wanting to do good and help her friends and when all her humanity is stripped away is when she finally acends to godhood because thats all thats left of her. an ideal and a faith in her. madoka kaname died a long time ago and all that is left is her ghost.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Hello there, friend I'm here for fluff

OK, this has been on my mind for a while

But like

The reader is just becoming the biggest parent to the Benny's adventure team kids

And the wolfs

We are like a parent of like 27

Knitting and making food brushing razors hair(let's be for real, you would hear a crunch when you brush it)

I'm not gonna lie

Do these kids know what spices are?

Cuz when I think about it

Razor hasn't had shit so he's has the least tolerance for spice

He would probably cry if you feed him a pepper

Bennett has tried spicy food but does go well with it

And not completely sure if fischl has had a spicy food before

But what flavor does mondstadt add to their food??

These kids need the damn flavors

AHDHAKALL FERAL ANIMAL AQUARIUS- ANOTHER PLATONIC ASK AAHHHHGGGGDJJSFHSAK!!!!!

AND ITS YOU!! ITS- ITS- ONE OF THE WRITING RULERS OF SAGAU (FOR ME AT LEAST) <3 !!!!!!!!

You cooking in genshin all anime studio ghibli style looking like food from god (literally): ⬆️

Sun: Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: Benny’s Adventure Team! (Bennett, Fischl, Razor), Diluc, mentions of other Mond characters

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

^^ The posts being referenced in ask, (OG Razor ask) (Benny + Razor) and a more direct sequel, a part 2? a part 4 atp?? of this post (Imposter/Not Dark AU + Razor + Diluc) ^^

OMFG

ALRIGHT LISTEN UP BITCHES

SINCE UR IN TEYVAT

YOU GONNA COOK LIKE TEYVAT

AS IN-

SHIT BE SUPER EASY TO COOK, AND MASS MAKE DEPENDING ON COMPLEXITY OF DISH

(So, like Zhongli's special Bamboo Shoot Soup is like getting made... once a year if you read the little desc. for that dish 💀)

AND THEYRE ALL LIKE-

ANIME GORGEOUS FOODS ✨️❤️‍🔥

OKAY SO

PROMO TIME-

U GUYS HAVE TO WATCH THE ANIME "CAMPFIRE COOKING IN ANOTHER WORLD"

Bc that's mostly where this inspo gonna come from to both be realistic cooking + best parts of video game cooking

A guy gets isekai’d and instead of hero powers he just gets the skill of "online grocery shopping" LMAO

and ofc he gets insta gifted whatever he orders and starts making dishes and adding spices and regular stuff you know. like soy sauce.

but the best part is the food in that world is like British medieval soup shit

like barely salted, no spices definitely, no sauces, its barren

so he ends up attracting all kinds of interest that want to eat his cooking ofc

And it gives buffs too!

dw i didnt spoil anything u don't learn in the first episode, but that's just to say that's exactly whats happening here

u DO have to manually collect more ingredients but its so worth it, also u can just buy in bulk or put a commission thru the adventurer guild

tbhhh now that i say that, that could be how u end up drawing in Benny’s Adventure Team even more, bc they just take all ur quests for collecting ingredients around Mond!!

(u have to actively sneak behind their back and whisper to Katheryne that you want to put in other food quests in other guilds tho, silly kids will absolutely go running around Liyue and crazy shit just to have an adventure and do smth for you + eat ur banger food lol)

omfg the first time u barbecue smth???

the wolves, Razor, and Andrius??? Go feral.

Fischl and Benny who were already on their way to u guys to hang out again start booking it thru the woods, dodging hilichurl camps (thatve since settled down and been v peaceful to the wolves + anyone in the woods of Wolvendom after u started living there)

they knowww ur cookin smth fucking amazing

(and u even have some hilichurls and mitachurl that wander close to Andrius’ edge of the woods to shyly beg for scraps,, u give them a portion)

Razor was actually lookin at u like u hung the stars just for him when u gave him a homemade barbecue sauce to put on his food

(u acc may have done that to Teyvatians according to Andrius + the stories u overheard from Springvale…)

ok but the amount of begging u get for desserts like-

No, Razor u cannot have chocolate cake/cupcakes after every meal, u need to take care of ur teeth

(u use ur collection of mora-monster-donations for comms for more ingredients and living supplies like fabric + furniture, u cant afford dental on top of that for ur boy)

Fischl dutifully declares you the “best chef in the kingdom” and writes down all ur recipes (u have them auto-stored in ur settings obv but it cant hurt to have a physical copy, and they look so happy doing it, u don't have the heart to tell them its not necessary-)

Benny insists on both giving u extra ingredients when he takes ur commissions, and giving u handmade trinkets or weapons for the meals!!

No!! He will not take “im good” for an answer!! ur sharing ur home-cave with him, taking care of his best friend Razor, and now feeding him food better than Liuli Pavilion!!! There’s no way he can just take all that and give nothing back!!!!

and theyre not the only ones getting some food tbh

when the knights begin patroling near Wolvendom and slowly all of Mondstadt to search for their “All God”, u break up the beginnings of a fight between 2 confused knights and the now peaceful hilichurl camp at the edge of Wolvendom

U offer some snacks u were going to give Benny’s Adventure Team when they got back (u made little triangle sandwiches, rice balls, etc. finger foods, and u made plenty extra bc u kno their teenage appetites lol)

the knights and hilichurls nearly cried with appreciation, which made for a hilarious sight when the teens actually showed up lmao

ur wearing ur cloak, bc u dont wanna take on that whole “creator of worlds” title just yet, and the kids helped verify u werent anyone suspicious (Benny + Fischl keep ur godly secret, theyre the best like that 🥰)

the knights just swing by for snacks occasionally (they also either pay u in trade or with mora, theyre not bullies)

another person who gets flavored food privileges is the lazy librarian witch herself

u also sometimes pick Razor up from Lisa’s tutoring and bring “the best tea and tea snacks in the world” along with to share with Lisa and him

(she is also fully aware after awhile of meeting u of what u are, and fully believes this is why the food must be enchanted to be so good, but u dont want to be treated super reverently she can tell, so she keeps ur secret too and is just extra flirty when u come by lol)

(Razor refuses to let his pare- Lupical move out of ur cozy cave to the library, so he sometimes hauls u away when Lisa flirts too much LMAO)

…and the moment you've been waiting for.

Yes, Diluc got to try ur food that night he was searching Wolvendom for signs of the god of Teyvat

tbh Diluc was half-convinced that shit was a fever dream.

a bunch of sleepy wolves, a coffee table in the stone colosseum, a giant spirit wolf licking a big plate clean, the wolf-kid glaring at him, and you.

you with gold eyes, staring right thru his soul, like you already know everything there is to know about him, (like the way Kaeya looked at him that night),

like he doesnt even have to introduce himself

and he doesnt, u just lightly smack Razor’s hands until he gets rid of his claymore w/a pout, since Diluc had long since dropped his,

and grab a plate, piling on what leftovers u could, and turn back around from the coffee table to smile at him, patting the cushion-seat beside u for him to join

The giant glowing wolf licks his lips and watches him, the wolf-kid’s creepily watches him, and you, with eyes gold in teh light of a simmering bonfire just past the table, watch him

he just sits down and begins to eat.

its the best food he’s ever had, its his dad’s favorite dish, but not realistically, but the way memory embellishes a dish so much it can never be tasted again, except its right here. in front of him. u pour some wolfhook juice for him, and offer him a napkin to wipe his mouth and eyes

Diluc visits often after that, obviously.

u give him snacks too, and when he lets the staff try some, Adeline will not stop harassing him abt gettin ur recipes/ingredeints so u get him to pay Fischl to get a copy of their recipe book :)

including blank pages for future entries, and Fischl is literally glowing with happiness, would not stop monologuing abt ur food for weeks (send help Oz wants some peace and quiet sometimes)

Oh Diluc absolutely told the Favonius knights he found you. But he’s not saying where LMAO

Jean is actually begging him, Diluc ik u hate the knights but this is an international investigation-

this is the closest Diluc has ever gotten to getting under Venti’s skin.

when he told him this at Angel’s while bartending, he just casually ofc said this, just his smug little smirk, and the anemo god cracked a glass and everything- esp when he said he tried ur cooking??

he's gotta start looking over his shoulder in the city bc not only is Venti stalking him, the entirety of Mondstadt’s citizens are glaring at him in envy everywhere he goes LMAOO

(Venti now has a bar glass or too on his tab to pay off as well)

mans is literally paying u in weapon/artifact materials/mora to make him lunch one day and Venti nearly lunges over the counter

(Diluc purposefully ate it in front of him 💀)

ur food is the ultimate, “u could make a religion out of this!” /ref

like Diluc fully gives u offerings of ingredients he can pay for shipping from other countries + along with regular materials after grinding in domains

does the rest of Mondstadt + the world find out where u are?

only if Diluc lets them tbh. LMFAO

☆

bk trashfire my beloved <3 love ur ideas and stuff, goes without even saying im so sorry i took actually forever to respond :’(

hope u have a great weekend and i did this little side story justice for you

Safe Travels BK Trashfire,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡my beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

@kiyomi-uchiha777

[thegnomelord]

aaaaomg... the response to my ask (i was the shark person lad) is so good :DD it got my brain bouncing around in my skull like a bouncy ball cause i love sharks and the 141 monster au

imagine an oceanic whitetip shark merman (i did mention whitetips a few times in my past ask, they're one of my favorite sharks) being in tf141 with the boys. whitetips are known for being one of the more aggressive sharks and some of the strongest in the ocean. like dragons, whitetips are prideful and stubborn in nature. they also tend to be on the larger end of merfolk, having muscular and tanky bodies to support their natural aggression. whitetips tails especially are strong so they can swim fast enough to keep up with prey - so their legs are naturally stronger to keep up with the weight of their powerful shark tail.

whitetips tend to be picky with their mates - like most of the larger shark merfolk, i imagine they'd want someone who can match their strength, and well after sparring with any four of the boys they'd definitely realize that "oh damn. maybe he is suitable" then go through the strange process of trying to court whoever they sparred with. it would involve a lot of nibbling and following them around to really determine if he's right, along with a few lost teeth that soooomehow end up on the desk of who they're courting.

ahem also dragon price and mershark reader makes me think. just a small note

but yeah that's all :) thank you for making my brain turn into a bouncy ball over my obsession with sharks and monsterfucking LMAO

Oh oh oh what if sharkmer are polygamous? Like it's so rare to find another of their kin so any time they find someone and they're compatible they end up joining/creating a polycule where everyone's fucking everyone?

So like, pre-existing poly141 with a new member reader, and at first you don't think too highly of them. But them you start sparring with them, get your ass handed as often as you hand it out, and yeah. . . you're smitten.

Soap fucking loves your little habit of nibbling on him, you two winding up on the couch somewhere with you nibbling on his pecs while he does the some to your tail, Price having a good laugh when he finds you two purring while you do it.

Gaz just likes your bulk, the fact you're so much wider and bigger than him, dwarfing him in size. I hc harpies have this old instinct to rest/nest in like caves or something, so when you wrap your strong arms around you it just makes him feel so safe, especially if you then tuck his head into your neck and he can't see and it's like he's surrounded by heaven, calm and relaxed in the same way raptors are calm when they got that hood on their head.

Ghost likes the fact you're generally quiet, likes the fact you can keep up with him and even pin him down (as well as a wraith can be pinned down). Likes being forced to submit under you, both of you tumbling around on the ground in an attempt to defeat the other until your thick tail is sweeping him out from under his feet and you're nibbling on his neck.

Price takes the longest to come around with you, mostly because he's so possessive and protective of what's his. But he sees you take care of his hoard, take care of him, and the next time you return from a mission, still wet from the swimming you'd had to do, Price pulls you into his office, a deep rumble in his throat. "Did well back there." He says as he takes your hand and bites it, keeping eye contact with you so you know he knows what he's doing, and suddenly you're lunging at him with the intent to mate.

And also sharks have 2 dicks soooo👀

[jeonsbabygirlsworld]

REUNION SEX

SUMMARY: Seokjin has been now out from his military service, but he has buried himself with work and you miss him, miss sex.

PAIRINGS: Husband Jin x wife reader.

WORD COUNT: 1.7K

SMUT WARNINGS: Titty sucking over clothes, oral (m,f), fingering, riding, emotional sex at the end lmao, reader is called names( jagi, slut, whore), cum eating.

A/n: yeas, I'm back Hehe lol I hope you like this one I'll get better next time but I hope you like this.

It's been two days since Seokjin has been discharged from his military service, Minjun your son hasn't been happier when he finally knew his dad wouldn't go back, your husband used to come back in between for a couple of days and leave again.

Minjun was about six months old when Jin knew he had to leave and he was not happy to leave his son, you and the army but soon accepting he went ahead and served the country perfectly, occasionally posting on Instagram and Weverse and telling army's he's doing great and is eager to come back and perform.

It's almost 11 pm when Minjun gets ready for his bedtime after playing with his dad for a long time. Jin being the best dad and husband takes over the night duties and puts his son to sleep so till then you could get all ready for bed as well.

About your sex life it's been a while since you've been intimate with him so it is dry and now seeing him all bulked up has your hormones raging up, his shoulders are now lean not that they were in perfect shape but it's just something is stirring up in your mind, his abs are more Prominent and can be even seen over his shirt if he straightened up.

You have nasty thoughts about your husband in the shower while Seokjin also gets ready for bed, a white shirt with grey sweatpants hangs low on his slim waist and when you come out you gasp a bit to see him look this hot.

You both soon get on the bed cuddling each other while you lay your head on his hard chest and your legs all over him, you ignore the feeling of his length on your inner thighs and hum on the things he's saying, his long fingers are tangled on your hair, and he fiddles with them, and you sigh at this feeling.

"Jagi...?" Your husband calls you out of your thoughts and you look out for him and smile and ask him what's wrong "Are you sleepy? should I stop talking?" Seokjin hesitates, thinking he is keeping you up and he knows you are tired from all day keeping up with Minjun taking care of him and also looking after him.

"No Jin don't worry it's all right it's just something going in my head for a while, but it's nothing I know you must be tired we can sleep," you tell him in a low voice and motioning to detach from him, but you get pulled back and now he hovers above you and gasp.

"Tell me baby, what's wrong?" Jin said now completely serious, and you sighed and looked everywhere but him, his arms had now trapped you and you raised your hands and held onto his biceps and rose a bit so could kiss his plum lips and once again you fell for this man all over again.

"Nothing Jin, it's just I miss you, I miss sex, but I don't want to pressure you into it I know you are still tired from the service and all the events you can rest" you tell him and caress his bicep with your thumb and feel him.

"Jagi you could've just told me about it, you know it right I would never turn you down, I'm sorry I haven't been giving you time love, but this pussy for sure misses me, right baby? Jin teases and you nod while giving him a big smile at his teasing.

Jin slowly bends down so he can kiss your lips and you make space for him in between your legs and his now hard length is pressed against your core. The kisses shared are passionate between you and him and you bite out a moan when you feel his hands sneaking up to your clothed breast.

Your nipples harden when Seokjin's fingers circle them and you twitch in his arms because of sensitivity, the short satin gown does a poor job of hiding the print of your nipples and Seokjin bends down just so he comes face to face and licks and sucks you over the fabric, the print is more visible as it is now wet.

"Seokjin please, need more" You gasp at his teasing while he chuckles and stops his antics and is now welcomed by the red lace underwear you decided to wear just in case something would happen, and you didn't want him to be greeted by the normal ones and mentally smile about it.

Your husband smiles at the sight of his favourite red panties coming into his vision and wasting no time he pushes them to the side and rubs the ball of your clit "Try to stay calm y/n I know it's been a while" he says observing your sensitivity and timidness when you try to close your legs.

Nodding at him he gets right back to your pussy occasionally spitting, licking, sucking and slurping your juices and you try your best to stay calm and not make much Noice but you end up failing miserably when his long slender finger enters you "Such a tight fit Jagi, I don't think you can take my dick....already stressing over my finger" just like that his teasing never stops which throws you over the edge and you come silently.

"Such a slut Jagi" he tsks and removes his fingers from your heat and sucks them and hums "So sweet" You stay there breathless for a second until he undresses, and you remove your gown and panties, your eyes bore down at his luscious red tip oozing out some precum and you swear you feel your mouth water.

So, you take matters into your own hands, just when Jin hovers above you, holding on to his bicep you shift him so now you are the one above him and Jin chuckles and gets ready for what is coming for him.

Kissing his lips you go down his neck and paint a few purple hues and your fingers tease his length which is now in between you and your husband, he tries to refrain from moaning and only settles with hums, Seokjin guides you where he needs you the most, yes, his beautiful girthy, thick length and veins prominent and those plum balls, there's a patch of hair at the base but you don't mind and think it makes him 10x hotter than he already is.

You start off by laying kittenish kisses and licks on his length and then going to suck his tip, you hum when the taste of his precum hits your tongue, and you make a mess by spitting on him again, your husband grabs on your hair and tries to signal you that he needs more and wanted to hear you gag around it.

"The best baby, yeah just like that," Seokjin says as his hands now fall on the bed, and you continue to gag over him "So big baby, can feel it in my throat," you tell him to boast his ego feeling few tears falling from your eyes and Seokjin moans at the compliment.

"Yeah, baby just like that Jagi.... right there, I'm going to cum" your husband groans feeling his orgasm hit and then that's when you decide to be cruel and get your mouth off him, "Jagi I'm not even kidding I was so fucking close," Jin says disappointed and you hover over him and sit on his abs and bring your finger on his lips "Be quiet baby, let me do it my way tonight yeah?" you tell him in most sluty way.

Smirking he only nods and lets you do whatever you want, and you rise up just a bit so now that his tip kisses your hole and you gasp and try to take him fully, once you adjust you shriek out because of the stretch and Seokjin groans at the tightness it feels like his dick has been suffocated and you slowly start to bounce, your own hands coming up to play with your tits while his hands come up on your waist and you scream out real loud because of his tip hitting your sweet spot "Yeah baby faster" Jin gasps feeling himself come closer to his release.

"Argh fuck baby right there feels so good, dick so good" You talk to him and chase your high that's when Seokjin pulls you down to his chiselled chest and guides your hips, you feel your eyes water at his move and your right hands comes up to his face to grab and you silently say you miss him and missed this feeling, and your tears finally run down your cheek and you both come at the same time, his cum painting your walls.

"Y/n? Baby, are you okay? I missed you too Jagi like a lot" Jin says his hands now caressing your back "Yeah just missed you a lot and now that you are here it feels so much better" you tell him, and he smiles like a fool and kisses your forehead, after spending a while with his length still inside, you sigh and feel good until it was time for you to get up and clean as you both are sticky from the sex and you both need a bath.

While Seokjin gets up first to prepare a bath for both of you, feeling the cum drip from your pussy, with a wild move you try to collect and suck it off your fingers and give him a wink while you are at it, and he smirks collectively and tsks "so messy baby" and giving him an offended look you tell him it is better than staining the bedsheets.

"Sure, Jagi make excuses, such a whore for it"......

TAGLIST:

@jungk97kwife @kimmingyuswifee @virgodolls @grudge-core

[roseykat]

Okay sooo, I don't know if you're into this but I'll leave it here

Since we've established that minsung can and would probably get you pregnant with their babies at the same time, and since breasts produce milk based on how many babies you have to feed...

Lactation kink with minsung

Thoughts?

I got too carried away with this one lmao

No bc firstly Minsung would be so in love with seeing you develop into motherhood. Despite its trials, tribulations, and hardships with carrying their babies, they always see you persevere especially through areas where sometimes there’s nothing they can do to help.

One of those issues would be when your milk starts coming through early and it starts to hurt and feel uncomfortable because there's nowhere for the milk to go. You can pump even though you’re just over a month out from giving birth but it wouldn’t be as beneficial to store it since it will end up expiring regardless if there are other methods for its use prematurely.

Which is why and when Minho tells you that he and Jisung can help out by using some of your breast milk for other things while you’re still carrying the babies. So he suggests that you pump to collect your milk in order to use it for cooking, in cereal and what not, mainly just food for related purposes.

But Jisung thinks along a different line.

Whenever he’s helping you get ready to pump, you sometimes need to massage your breasts because you know it helps with milk flow. Then one day Jisung is sitting next to you, ready to help you set up to pump as you take your bra off. You’re exhausted, sore, fed up, and borderline done with being pregnant until Jisung scoots himself closer to you and very gently starts massaging your breasts for you.

Then just out of fucking nowhere, he leans down and latches his mouth down onto you nipple and sucks. You’re stunned at first, definitely not angry, but taken aback because you didn’t know he’d be into that. Then again, he’s a bag full of surprises.

“So sweet,” Jisung would say as he releases, then will come to his senses, realising what he’s done. “Sorry, I don’t know what came over me. Just…needed to taste you.”

You’d reassure him to not feel guilty because not only did it feel good to get some of that milk out, but simply because there’s just nothing wrong with it in general. Minho wasn’t actually surprised that Jisung wanted to drink straight from you since he’s always been a tits man. Not that that’s the point but, Minho has seen the way Jisung has been looking at you ever since he saw that bump grow.

But then again, Minho is the same way too, just less obvious. He had to admit to himself that watching you get your milk out wasn’t something he was prepared to find satisfying. From that point on, you wouldn’t mind if that’s how either of them wanted to taste your milk.

However, even afterwards - after you give birth, when you start overproducing milk, you’re able to bottle and store extra, but there are days where it doesn’t stop. That’s where Minho and Jisung come to help.

Firstly, you all make sure both of their sons (I’m calling it that they have boys) have a sufficient supply of milk because the last thing they want is to obviously deplete them of their only food sustenance that they have.

Once that’s ensured, both Jisung and Minho help you by practically latching onto you. Both of them would start out by stimulating your sensitive nipples with their tongues before eventually sucking to taste your milk.

I’m also just imagining those two like fucking bulking up bc of how nutrient rich breast milk is. Like they work out a lot and undoubtedly their gains would just shoot through the roof. Minho’s biceps and thighs get bigger, Jisung’s chest and arms get bigger. Christ. They just end up getting thick and they’d look so fucking good. At that point you’re not just helping nurture and grow two babies, but also the babie’s two fathers lmao.

[hotluncheddie]

omg I didn't realize you wanted chubby steddie asks 🙈

as much as we love the babygirlification of Steve Harrington..... I'm obsessed with boyish manly Steve who is chubby and Eddie is obsessed with him!!!! I'm thinking about your one fic with the sweaty tank top!!!!! do you have more thoughts on this??

yesssssss!!! anon yes yesssssssss!!!!!

not me being like 'yeah! sweaty task top fic nice nice' then realising i have like three different posts that have Steve in a sweaty tank top lol

thankfully @scoops-aboy86 came in clutch with a new tank top sciario <3 (and held my hand thru writing the end lmao ty pal)

but i just love an ex jock trope, i love bulk under muscle and i think big beefy hairy guys are hot - and Steve harrington deserves to be all of that, and more

and also, importantly, eddie munson deserves to have all of that too, in and around him, all the time, in the form of Steve Harrington.

-

Eddie had come to accept the wealth of things he could be into, the actual buffet of people and scenarios that could get his dick hard. He's had more than his fair share of knuckle biting orgasms over the ex chief of police Jim Hopper. Before and, maybe worse, after getting to know him.

So he knew what it was to have something of a shame wank. To enjoy a moustache or two and a paunch at a middle.

But nothing, no deep seated daddy issues or fantasy of being held down, could ever prepare him for Steve Harrington.

Post upside down, post eventual college and transition to work. Post two bed apartment with Robin, then two bed apartment with Robin and Eddie. Then actual full blow house with Eddie, and more often than not weekend guest Robin. Dating Steve for as long as has was one thing, loving Steve with everything he had was another, and being loved by Steve was something he still had nights of panic about - silent tears as fear and self doubt gripped his throat, nightmares about it all being an elaborate prank that sneak their way in even with Steves arms wrapped tight around his middle.

but Eddie had him.

Was allowed to love him, and worship Steve for all that he was worth. It was wonderful. Eddie knew that.

But it had its challenges. Nothing past Eddie could've done would help current Eddie for what he was in for.

Like how Steve had bulked up over the years, settled and filled out in a way that made those visions of Hopper, and guys from bars he really shouldn't have been at, all come surging back.

Steve was thick, and strong and still so achingly beautiful. Boyish in his actions at times but also protective and capable in a way that made Eddie swoon. Honest to god. Made him feel like a main character in one of those bodice ripper books he had seen (taken out and read) at the library.

And then Steve made it worse.

So so so much worse.

Because Steve went and got a tattoo.

Well, another tattoo. He added roses to go along with the robin and branch on his arm, adding to its greenery with red petals and thorns that Eddie knew were secretly for him. He’d said, offhandedly, that they were his favourite and he knows, because he knows Steve, that thats something he'd listen to and remember.

He’s a die hard romantic.

And now Eddie is going to die, hard.

Soon, if Steve doesn't put a proper fucking shirt on.

Steves been wearing his stupid, old, cropped, white tank top since the appointment. He's "letting the tattoo breathe", "doesn't like the feeling of the healing skin against the fabric", "wants to do it properly". "hates Eddie and wants him to die of hard dick, big-fat-ball disease."

He glares at Steve from the other end of the couch, and maybe only three of those things are something Steve's actually said, but, he thought them. All of them. Must have.

Because Steve's tank is so old it's nearly see through, the peak of his pink nipple evident and distracting. The cropped end keeps rolling up and exposing his wider bellybutton and soft sides. And, as always, with any tank top, with any tank top on Steve, hit tits are there - hairy and lovely and out.

'Steve, please.' Eddie whines, he doesn't think he can take much more.

Steve just raises his eyebrows, taking a swig of beer and not looking away from the tv. 'If I sweat too much, it'll mess with the healing.' He says.

Eddie just crosses his arms, sinks lower into the couch. ‘Can you put on a normal shirt at least? For my sanity, for that alone, please?' Not wanting to sound desperate, but he is desperate.

Steve sighs, muting the TV. 'C'mere.' He holds his arms out and Eddie crawls into his lap. Still sulking, arms still crossed. ‘Eddie, you’re the one who gave me the tattoo. I’m following your instructions.’ Steve says gently.

‘M’firing Robin for getting you to sign the info form.’ He grumbles.

Steve smiles at him, tucking some hair behind his ears. ‘You can’t fire her for doing her job baby.’

‘Maybe not’ Eddie sniffs. ‘But I’m not sharing my baby blue ink with her next time she gets one of her slutty little lady sailor pin ups booked in.’ He mumbles to himself.

Steve pulls Eddie in closer, hands on his waist as he leans in to whisper in Eddies ear. 'Aren't I being so good though? Following what you said, no strenuous activity for two days right?' His voice a little breathy, soft.

And that makes Eddie pause, makes his insides churn and his heart rate increase. 'Ye-yeah.' He rasps, eyes wide. 'So good Stevie.'

'So we have to wait until tomorrow, like you said, yeah?' Steve asks, eyes all big and sweet, lips in a little pouty.

Fuck. He's right. Eddie dug his own grave.

'Yeah.' He sighs. He can do it, for Steve.

Steve smiles sweetly at him, tapping Eddie on the ass and shifting him closer so Steve can unmute the tv and keep watching his game. 'Good boy.' Steve says, kissing Eddies temple.

…Wait. Eddie scrunches his eyebrows, half hard and confused.

But Steve just holds him closer. Eddie buries his head in Steve's neck, and whines.

[goldfades]

✮ 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝟏 = 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞, zegras' have more fun

♡ ─ summary | y/n shows off her first week of uni and the captain of the hockey captain purposes something...

♡ ─ warnings | absolutely nothing, maybe mention of needing to bulk??, and playful insults/"bully" (per usual)

♡ ─ taglist | tbd

♡ ─ ev's notes | ahhhh i'm so excited for this series, please send in some requests if you have any! i'm still thinking about who i want little miss zegras to end up with, can y'all help me with that LMAO. i'm so indecisive

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ynzegras ann arbor, michigan

Liked by trevorzegras, lucafantilli, pchandler68 and 7,261 more

ynzegras | week 1 @ umich, done ✅ tagged: briesbagels, lhughes_06, dylanduke25 september 2, 2022

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briesbagels | so YOU stole my camera???

↳ ynzegras oops... mb it just ended in my luggage, idk how

↳ pchandler68 I LITERALLY TOLD YOU BRIE. U WERE WRONG.

↳ briesbagels a. i'm never wrong 😗 and b. you did steal my anaheim sweatshirt i saw it on facetime

↳ ynzegras how does bro fit in that, he needs to BULK!!

↳ trevorzegras y/n skinny shaming scandle?

↳ ynzegras scandal**

lhughes_06 | that's such a terrible pic y/n, how could you do me and dylan like that???

↳ ynzegras yall look fine... stop being dramatic

↳ lhughes_06 we look like 2 middle aged fathers taking a pic after helping their kids move into their dorm 😟😑

↳ dylanduke25 speak for yourself man, i look sexy 🥵

↳ pchandler68 fr that smile 🥵🥵

_quinnhughes | LUKE lmao 😭

↳ ynzegras HAHAHAHAH HES SO FUNNY

↳ _quinnhughes he looks scared

↳ lhughes_06 she forced me to take that pic so YES i was scared. 😣

↳ trevorzegras BULLIES. they are BULLIES. first me and griffin, now luke and dylan. u have a problem y/n

↳ ynzegras idk ab bullying but it's pretty funny

pchandler68 | is that my cup in the fourth picture??

↳ ynzegras no bruh i brought this from home

↳ pchandler68 FUCKING LIAR THATS MINE. GET UR OWN CUP

↳ briesbagels GET UR OWN SWEATSHIRT. its a cup, get over it 😑😑

dylanduke25 | lovely pic y/n🫡 great photograph taking skills

↳ ynzegras thanks bud 🤞🏼

griffinzegras | i see you've found another brother huh?

↳ ynzegras awww u jelly?? ur still my fav

↳ griffinzegras YEAH ID HOPE SO?? I AM UR BIOLOGICAL BROTHER 🤨

↳ ynzegras i actually i take that back, i think i got a concussion from ur fucking driving

↳ griffinzegras who bought you starbucks for the past two years EVERDAY before school?

↳ ynzegras i can't remember CUS I HIT MY HEAD SO HARD

trevorzegras | miss you sista

↳ ynzegras i literally saw u like two days

↳ trevorzegras i can still miss my baby sis

↳ avazegras 📸📸 hmm? baby sis?

↳ trevorzegras i miss u both okay??????

↳ ynzegras sure... okay

nolan_moyle | new hockey manager??

↳ ynzegras yeah no

↳ nolan_moyle please 😥😥 it would mean the world to our lukey boy

↳ lhughes_06 na i really don't care

↳ nolan_moyle not helping our case there 😐😐

[onesidedradiostatic]

(After the Respectless Reprise)

Velvette, calling Vox on the phone: VOX!!! End this stypid debate once and for all! What was the color of your turtleneck when you took that damned picture with Valentino?

Vox, picking up the call: Uh... What now?

Velvette: Some of your crazy "fans" cropped that stupid picture I took of you two near his desk with your monitors! They've been going crazy at the color of your stupid turtleneck in the leaked photo

Vox: Right right.... and..... This is my problem because....?

Velvette, muttering under her breath: I swear to god... this is just like that stupid dress thing all over again.....

Vox: The what now?

Velvette: Forget it! Your old arse wouldn't even get it anyway and we don't have the time! That stupid thing blew out of proportion!!! It's been trending on Vitter for Hell's sake so you better do something about it!

Vox: Vel, I don't see the problem. It's just a color for something that happened a long time ago. It shouldn't even matter.

Velvette: Well it does matter because demons—not even just sinners, Vox— have been going at each other's throats about this for hours on end just for the sake of their fanart consistency!

Vox: Fanart consistency?

Velvette: Oh for fuck's sakes, Vox— Aren't you connected to your network right now? You should be able to see just how bad it is in there!!

Vox: Mhm... yeah, yeah... well..... right...

Velvette: Vox. Are you listening to me right now?

Vox: *noncommittal hum* Yeah..... That's better...

*Velvette pauses for a moment before a look of realization crosses her face*

Velvette: Wait... Don't tell me your at your Alastor shrine again instead of at your office?

*Clatter clatter CRASHHH*

Vox: *cough cough cough* H-Huh? What? NOOOOooo... No, no I'm not. What are you talking about Velvette?

*Velvette side glances at Alastor still silently having his mental breakdown before moving onto Lucifer fiddling with his tie and cane as he refuses to meet anyone in the eyes*

Velvette: Yeaaah.... Right.

Vox: A-ActUALLY!! I was just about to go there. To— to my office I mean. I mean, I just came from an important meeting after all!! Yes, a very very important meeting. With uh.... About– Sinflix! Yes, yes Sinflix. You know how that annoying little parasite has been taking some of our profits with all their 'free services' shtick that we've been losing money in the other Rings.

Velvette: Right. Right. (I don't care)So... your turtleneck color?

Vox: RIGHT!!! *Ding ding ding!* Yeah, about that I uh....

*Side glances at the scarce remains of his closet that was once full of multiple variations of turtlenecks colored red, orange, yellow, and even blue. Some of them actually being striped. There was a sell in one of the secondhand-me-down shops if you buy in bulk back in the day when he first fell into Hell. And he wasn't one to pass up a bang for your buck. Unfortunately, he also had to burn a lot of them after Velvette joined team to avoid her wrath. And now he can't remember which one he wore during that picture*

Vox: Well... About that, I don't.... actually remember?

Velvette: You don't sound so sure of yourself.

Vox: Well, the picture itself is faded so some of the color has changed. Not to mention the lightning.

Let me ask Tino if he remembers.

(I hope you enjoy this. Someone please sedate me)

oh my fucking god (reference to this, and this, and the turtleneck discourse is just this entire fucking tag. basically we've been spending the last 2 days debating about vox's stupid fucking turtleneck)

literally everything being referenced is giving me fucking whiplash HELSPGKOS vox himself getting into the debate because he doesn't remember is hilarious

only thing I will have to correct there is that vox does in fact own netflix in hell so it's voxflix not sinflix

considering maintagging this and putting it out into the wild with zero context (until they check the links)

EDIT:

misunderstood whoops here's the clarification LMAO

[super-paper]

I still don’t understand AFO. Why is he like this. This series repeatedly goes out of it’s way to humanize the villains but AFO is still just evil because he wants to be the demon lord and I don’t get it.

That would be the point, I feel-- AFO doesn't want to be understood or seen as "human." He wants to completely lose himself in character, wants other people to mindlessly play along with the story he's written for himself like good little extras, and wants everyone around him to acknowledge what a ~perfectly inhuman demon lord~ he is-- and he's bent the entire narrative of MHA around himself like a shield in order to accomplish that. Like, the idea of people breaking the same black and white narrative that he's been using to protect himself (and trap others) quite literally drives him insane:

"That murderer--" "You killer--" oooooo you're so mad that human nature is basically good, that people are endlessly capable of growth and healing, and that actual human beings can't simply be shoved into teeny black and white fictional boxes ooooo all the more evidence that he's gonna completely lose his shit when Tomura ultimately refuses to kill Izuku lmao

I wanna point out his speech bubbles in the second image, bc Hori frequently uses speech bubbles to emphasize a character's mental state-- Like.... Bro is literally coming apart at the seams with rage that Stain is trying to be anything more than a starter villain. 😭The english translation also kind of sort of makes it seem like AFO is simply referring to Stain by his moniker (Hero Killer), but the term he uses in the original text feels a little more... loaded, imho?? The kanji used for Stain's "Hero Killer" Moniker is "Goroshi" ("殺ごろし"), but here, AFO instead refers to him as a "Murderer" (殺人犯/satsujin-han). Calling Stain an out-and-out murderer instead of calling him by a villain moniker feels a lot more specific, a lot more pointed, and it also tells us a lot more about AFO’s fucked up sense of values.

Anyway, I've said this before, but AFO is a character who reads heavily as an escapist fantasy gone horrifically wrong. "Why is a world where villains are allowed to climb back up from rock bottom and heal so intolerable to AFO?" "why does the idea of people breaking free from their roles make AFO so angry?" "why is AFO literally trying to BECOME a comic book character?" are better questions to ask than "why is bro just evil for the sake of it," I feel. Like obviously, a world where the label of "villain" gets thoroughly and utterly dismantled is one where AFO loses his power over others.... but it's also a world that rips that protective layer of "fiction" away from him, exposes his own humanity, and destroys that delusion of becoming the "perfect villain king" that he's wrapped himself up in.

tfw you LARP so hard that it ends up getting your brother killed and now breaking character means you gotta Process All Of That .................................................... Unless...? :)

What I find especially interesting about AFO is that MHA's narrative actually cooperates with shielding him from the readers, to a degree-- scenes that depict rare moments of genuine emotion are overlaid with contrary, cartoonishly evil narration that's meant to distract the reader from what's actually being depicted. The bulk of the series depicts his face being hidden in shadows even though it *literally* has no reason to be, and we don't get an unobscured look until the other characters finally start rallying together to reject his story. He is literally introduced to the series through a TV screen, which MHA has been using as a shorthand for its depiction of fantasy since day one:

In my opinion, I feel the final act of "rejection" that AFO fears isn't from his brother, or his followers, or "his other self"-- what he fears is the story itself rejecting him and finally exposing him for what he is: an utterly mundane human. Like, a total freak of a guy to be sure, but still totally human. The narrative revoking its various "protections" and working against AFO to humanize him acts as the final insult to everything he claims to believe in while doubling as the last bit of confirmation that he was never gonna become a "perfect demon lord." MHA being what it is, this is something inevitable.

Where other characters in this series draw strength from their origin-- the moment that defines them as a human and individual-- AFO likely fears and rejects his own origin for this same reason.

Anyway. I would describe AFO as a wannabe-author who refuses to make public appearances or divulge details about his personal life, but ultimately reveals a little too much about himself through the "stories" and "characters" he tries to write-- so ppl still know he's a freak with issues by virtue of how fatherless his content is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Putting together all the pieces of himself that AFO accidentally lets slip is part of what makes MHA so fun (to me, at least!).

[genericpuff]

How long do you plan making rekindled? I loved Lo at some point, But now I cant get enough of your version!! And I wanted to know how did you come up with the darker back stories for Rekindled?

I have a semi-detailed skeleton of the plot with basically every story beat planned out, but I can't definitively say how long it will be as I haven't actually scripted every single episode out yet.

Not to mention a lot of the time my scripts will change from their original versions, by the time I get to an episode I've planned ahead for I've either thought of new ways to do it or don't like how it's paced so I change it. Case in point, there was a specific scene I had planned for the next episode and then wound up not liking the pacing because it was too fast so I moved it to several episodes away and restructured everything on the fly, took a whole new text document and scrapping sketches to figure shit out LOL I actually do have up until Episode 70ish scripted out in my documents with like, actual notes and dialogue for each episode, but I already have sooo many of those crossed out now because of how much I've had to tweak and change as time has gone on. This is why I plan ahead well in advance though, so that if I do need to make those changes, I can make them long before the episodes are even due to be drawn (and believe me, they get changed during the sketching phases too LOL).

What I can confirm for certain is that the current 'arc' we're in right now is definitely the bulk of the story. And that's not to say there isn't any content afterwards, more like the pacing just gets completely turned on its head in the last 30-40% of it where shit gets N U T S and just can't go back to the same energy that it was in the beginning. Without spoiling, there's a certain 'turning point' in the plot and everything after it isn't quite as long as the stint of story we're in now. This is mostly because the arc we're currently in is still establishing a bunch of stuff like the Underworld Corp, Persephone's schooling, etc. and once that turning point hits, it's basically all character development and focusing on the consequences of everything setup in the first arc.

I guess if I had to illustrate it, the story progression in the end will look something like this?

It's basically just this slow and chill climb that, once it hits that sharp peak, doesn't ever return to normal levels LMAO So I guess enjoy this part of the story while you can because it's the chillest it'll ever be w(°ｏ°)w And boy, I am EXCITED for that peak, but we have a long way to go before we get there. As for how long, well, I'm hoping I'll be able to have Rekindled's story wrapped up in the next 2 years, tops. Just depends on how the update schedule goes, and assuming the plans I have put down for the plotting don't change in any major way. I don't have as much of the latter half of the story actually scripted out yet so for all I know it could wind up being way longer than anticipated, but right now I have a pretty good sense of how the story beats will play out in relation to each other.

So it's kind of a wait and see thing, at least until I have every episode scripted out, and even then I won't be 100% sure because things are always being tweaked and fixed and changed on the fly! I'm guessing it won't go much longer than 170 episodes, give or take, but that's a very very VERY rough estimate.

Regardless, Rekindled still has a lot more story to tell, and I'm hoping y'all enjoy the ride with me <3

As for the darker backstories, y'all don't even know yet. Like... I've got stuff planned. Stuff that even Banshriek (my BG assistant) doesn't know about. Stuff that I keep buried very deep in Rekindled's episode documents that won't see the light of day until they have to be ripped out of the deep dark trenches of the characters' own buried secrets, and by that point, the toothpaste will be out of the tube, there will be no going back. So, again... enjoy it while it lasts. Because I don't pull my punches. And maybe even you won't be able to look at me the same way again once the final blow has been dealt.

Sleep well.

:)

[markantonys]

there was a great interview with sharon gilham (costume designer) where she gave an intriguing tease about a new character in s3! (this bit starts around the 45-minute mark)

they are "something else"

"not like anything from season 2 or anything you've seen before"

they required a major collaboration between the costume & makeup departments

she paraphrased rafe as describing them as "a really really important, really highly complex character who's coming for one scene only in episode 7 or 8" [that was more that she couldn't remember the episode number, not that rafe wasn't sure at the time what episode they would be in; she did specify that it was at the end of the season because she was saying they were almost out of budget and had this dropped on them lmao so the episode in question does definitely seem to be 7 or 8]

i don't know what to think! lots of people are speculating the finn which fits the first few points, but i'm skeptical because i wouldn't qualify them as "really important, highly complex" characters (and it did definitely sound like one specific character, not a group of characters, though we could have mat meet just one finn). same goes for other creature-y characters like shaidar haran - not that important or complex of a character, unless they plan to bulk him up a lot compared to the books, which is possible. it's also possible sharon/rafe meant visually complex rather than complex characterization-wise, but even with that, i personally wouldn't consider the finn or shaidar haran to be as important as she made it sound like this character is. maybe the gholam could fit the parameters of important & (visually) complex?

i'm also skeptical of mordeth because mashadar was just its own thing not tied to a person in s1 and i kinda doubt they'd introduce him now, but maybe some kind of mordeth-inspired padan fain powerup is possible? or a slayer TAR powerup where he becomes freaky-looking? but the phrasing implies to me that this is a new character who isn't in any other scene in s3, rather than an existing character who gets a powerup to look different.

tuon is a possibility, but would her aesthetic really be THAT different from the high blood we saw in s2? i don't know, maybe it would! another seanchan possibility is the empress herself; it would be so sick if tuon was in multiple scenes in the tanchico plotline and we get to know her not realizing who she is, and then at the very end of the season she goes home and we find out she's the daughter of the seanchan empress. the literal empress would be a good candidate for looking like nothing we'd ever seen before because she'd surely have to be the most over-the-top person in the world. and Mama Tuon could maybe fit the bill of a "really important" character if they bring some of tuon's backstory onscreen and give her a storyline within the court of the nine moons in s4 before heading back to the westlands in s5, thus giving her mom a significant role and making a lot more out of the mommy issues that were hinted at in the books, but even in that scenario it feels like a stretch to consider Mama Tuon THAT important (but again, we just can't know how they might decide to bulk up characters; no one would've ever considered liandrin important based on the books!)

the only other possibility i'm thinking of is a new forsaken, with my strongest guesses being sammael or graendal (since they were both namedropped in s3, and there's also an alleged sammael audition script), and a smaller guess of asmodean (i'd assume we would see him in more than one scene in s3). but here we also run into the question of, how different would they be from the forsaken we've already seen? plus, would they require a "major" collaboration with the makeup department? sammael maaaaybe, depending on how they do his scar.

any standard westland character (aes sedai, political leader or noble, aiel, etc) i wouldn't think would have particularly wild aesthetics, so i'm discounting all those (like cadsuane), but you never know.

i'm sure there's about a hundred other possibilities i'm not thinking of right now! what do you guys think?

[familyabolisher]

cws for incest: i'd honestly love to hear you talk abt john and kiriona's quasi-incestous/emotionally incestous relationship if you're up for it! i did get a Vibe from kiriona saying she wants to be her father's cavalier

>:) So I'm not trying to argue for a reading of John and Kiriona as "incestuous" in the sense that I believe they are literally having an in-text sexual relationship with one another; I think that would be pretty easily refutable, lmao. What I'm trying to get at is how the slippery multiplicity of cavalierhood as a subject position combined with the three-way parallels drawn between Kiriona, Alecto, and Harrow (with particular emphasis on Kiriona and Alecto, just because that's what the bulk of Nona focalised) casts the spectre of potential incest such that the kind of exegesis that a patriarchal incest reading provides gains explanatory power.

I'm using a typically Gothic approach to patriarchal incest relations to explain the theoretical model I'm working with not because I think Muir is unilaterally invoking the Gothic in her interpersonal relationships (though it's definitely there, lol—I've written a Lot in the past about reading Gideon/Cytherea as a development on the traditional beats of lesbian Gothic texts, but. Anyway not the point) but just because it's the kind of discourse I'm more familiar with & one that I feel has a pretty significant amount of exegetical use here. I am also, inevitably, going to talk about Lolita (audience groaning). If you’re not familiar with the Lolita reading, you can read it here or a shorter, clearer summary of it here; I’m going to write this on the assumption that we’re all on the same page irt what Lolita does in the text because otherwise I’ll eat up easily 1000+ words just trying to cover ground I’ve already covered elsewhere.

The argument that I'm making rests on a particular understanding of incest between the father and the daughter as an expression of this nexus of ideas concerning power, violation, subjugation, and control of the sort that normative kinship relations facilitate. Sex, and the currency of power we give to sex, becomes a metonym for broader structures of power such that sexual abuse can carve out a discursive path for situating these power structures within hegemony and the social stratification that sustains it. In short: the father who desires/covets/rapes the daughter A) exists within a system of normative kinship relations by which that desire/coveting/rape is socially viable; and B) can illuminate, through the use of metaphor, the nature of those very same kinship relations. When the father treats the daughter as property through his sexual coveting of her (or even through the refracted potential of sexual desire), we can start to open up questions about the daughter as de facto property of the father under the patriarchal relations which govern their kinship; we can consider sexual control as metonymic for other forms of absolute or totalised control that the father holds over the daughter, and we can start to interrogate why that control is possible. In readings wherein the father intervenes on the relationship between a daughter and an ‘outsider’ (if you will), rendered as an intruder in the bourgeois home, we can start to pick at questions of consanguinity as blood preservation and contamination in the white bourgeois household. The point is, patriarchal incest is a versatile exegetical tool for examining systems of power, violence, exploitation under hegemony.

(Of course, I use “the” father and “the” daughter here to refer to undifferentiated archetypes of the form; rather than straightforwardly unspooling from these archetypes, John and Kiriona introduce a number of compelling caveats on the convention that I will come to towards the end of this essay. For one thing, there’s the fact of Kiriona being a butch lesbian, distinguishing her from the heterosexuality and normative femininity of the conventional Gothic daughter-heroine; for another, there’s the fact that both John and Kiriona are indigenous, separating them from the typically white bourgeois Gothic family model. I say ‘separate’ rather than ‘distance’ because I read these distinctions not as a movement away from the paradigmatic blueprint to which I refer, but as discursive developments on the norms that that blueprint presupposes; again, I’ll come to all this towards the end after I’ve laid out the basic groundwork.)

Anyway, building from the explanatory power we can get from this sort of reading, I intend to talk about:

Cavalierhood as a subject position, and the multiplicity of hegemonic sites it can align itself with, and what this multiplicity accomplishes;

Kiriona and Alecto, parallels between the two, and what those parallels manage to do;

Having made my case for the ‘incest reading,’ if you will, what I think that incest reading can illuminate within the text;

The divergences I indicated above and how those divergences manage to expand on the prototypical father/daughter incest literary model.

At any given point in the text, ‘cavalierhood’ (and the necromancer/cavalier relationship) can be expounded upon to represent the discursive fabric of a number of normative social relations. One of course is, as I have talked about before (wrt Gideon/Cytherea), an enfolding of butch/femme into imperialist configurations by which the constructed subject of ‘the butch’ becomes a site for sexual objectification and a retraction of sexual agency. Another is marriage: this one is pretty consistent, but we can refer to, for example:

The recurrent use of the Book of Ruth citing a passage sometimes used at lesbian weddings to describe Gideon and Harrow’s relationship;

The plot of The Necromancer’s Marriage Season which playfully cribs the Ianthe/Harrow/Gideon trifecta and figures Gideon as Harrow’s ‘saintly husband’ to her ‘tedious widow’;

The part during Cytherea’s funeral where someone (Augustine?) misremembers Cytherea’s surname as having been ‘Heptane,’ and we learn that she used Loveday’s forename as a surname—this, to me, is reminiscent of marital surname conventions;

C— and N— getting married in Nona and their resurrected selves being a necromancer/cavalier pair, thus suggesting that those relations can be made roughly equivalent to one another;

Kiriona telling Cam to ‘marry a moron and then die’ and saying that she knows the feeling [of doing so], seemingly comparing Cam’s relationship to Palamedes to the one she has to Harrow and invoking marriage as a shorthand for that relationship in the process;

John and Alecto as the origin point and blueprint of the relation; John and Alecto as Humbert and Dolores or as Annabel Lee and the speaker of the poem; Annabel Lee as ‘my darling, my darling, my life and my bride’;

& of course just, the general obvious resonances of a ritualised relation ratified through a ‘vow’ imbued with immense social significance.’

Diegetically, it’s both a sexually perverse and sexually charged relationship; the conditions under which Magnus and Abigail’s marriage is socially taboo are the same conditions as the ones that, for example, allowed Cytherea to do All That. It bears a relation to how gender functions in our world as a division of labour and a socially imposed imperialist ordering with attached normative articulations; it’s also a military formation that facilitates imperialist expansionism and makes use of its internal logics to indoctrinate and employ child soldiers (cf. of course, Jeannemary and Isaac; cf. also AYU where Judith describes her teenaged self).

Crucially, it bears a relation to structures of kinship, often compatible with rather than contradictory to the sexual currents undergirding it; Augustine and Alfred and Ianthe and Corona (the latter of which are near enough explicitly incestuous) are the obvious touchstones here, but Nona expands the metaphor to encompass not only sibling-sibling relationships (which could very much make for its own separate post) but those of the father and the daughter, ie. John and Kiriona.

There are a number of significant points where Alecto and Kiriona are drawn into one another’s orbit, such that I think it makes sense to read them as narrative parallels (and, as I’ve written about before, to read that narrative parallel as a process of identifying the connective tissue between rape, conquest, weapons of empire, and kinship relations). The key points where this process of paralleling happens has been written about extensively already, so I won’t waste time rehashing them; send me an ask or something if you want me to talk about that parallel in a separate post. Crucially, Alecto and Kiriona represent divergent articulations of the same exertion of control practiced by John; the one that’s given to us through the ‘doll’ metaphor (Alecto as the Barbie to Kiriona’s Midge) in which the subject of John’s [necromantic] control, abuse, extension of power, etc. is stripped of agency beyond what he can turn them into. (It’s the metaphor which powers Lolita, in which Dolores is frequently compared to a doll, has her home with Dick Schiller described as a ‘dollhouse,’ and shortens her name to Dolly; all of this collides with Humbert’s transformation of her into ‘Lolita’ ie. a being entirely controlled by and dependent on his literary discourse, and this transformation then being the process by which his rape of her can be made sense of.) For Alecto, this is her very creation; the creationof the labyrinthine body stylised to represent Barbie, the body that she hates and finds ‘terrible,’ ‘a hideousness,’ of Alecto herself existing as a composite construction of referential touchstones (Adam and Eve, Galatea, Barbie, Frankenstein’s monster with long yellow hair; Annabel Lee, Annie Laurie, Dolores Haze, Alecto the Fury). For Kiriona, this is becoming an incorruptible, impenetrable living-dead weapon of empire.

The third iteration of the doll reading is U— and T—; how the figuring of them as John’s ‘kids’ aligns them with Kiriona, whilst the use of sexually charged language (‘breached with a thermometer’ as penetrative; the constant touching) and the emphasis on a static, dormant state onto which a slightly covetous status is projected, thus refracting sexuality onto the state of stasis (‘frozen brains and perfect internal temperatures’) aligns them with Alecto, and the two of course work in tandem to signpost a CSA-type reading reminiscent of Lolita. U— and T—, once made into Ulysses and Titania, become the totalised subject of John’s control to which we can refer back when thinking about Alecto and Kiriona; through the imposition of the new name(s) and the dead-undead state of the bodies, we can see the immediate parallels, and we can also see how Alecto and Kiriona are each placed in a position relative to John functionally equivalent to the reanimated corpses under his control.

(An earlier example of this might be the three-way placing of Gideon, Loveday, and the puppeted Protesilaus alongside one another as—essentially—Cytherea’s three cavaliers. The killing of Protesilaus and puppeting of his corpse is discursively equivalent to the killing and consuming and reconstitution-through-batterisation of Loveday, and both are equivalent to the sexual subjugation of Gideon. Like, three different articulations of the same core subject position, to be sexually subjugated is to be killed/eaten/reconstituted by the means and abilities of the instigator. The kind of interpretive work we do to make sense of that is the same as the kind I’m trying to do with Alecto/Kiriona/U— and T—.)

The point is, the metaphorical work done here pits Alecto and Kiriona’s respective relationships to John as discursively the same. Already you can probably see the outline I’m drawing; that the incest reading comes through this suggestion that the relationship between John and Alecto (romantic, sexual at least at the metaphorical and possibly at the literal level) can be rendered equivalent to the relationship between John and Kiriona (that of kinship).

Alecto and Kiriona are also both paragons of cavalierhood; Alecto is one half of the blueprint from which the social formation emerged, and the driving force of Gideon is process of Gideon ‘learning’ and internalising the subject position of cavalierhood to such a severe extent that she becomes capable of killing herself by the end. Crucial to this paragon state is the fact that Alecto and Kiriona are more than just ‘dead,’ but undead; resurrected on the terms of a third party (ie. John!) in a manner that the Lolita posts outline in more depth. Their various interlocking and changeable subjectivities can be thought of under the encompassing umbrella of cavalierhood.

Crucially, Alecto and Kiriona are not distinct; it’s not enough to flatten this into a reading which claims that Alecto represents the ‘sexual’ subjectivity of cavalierhood and Kiriona represents the familial subjectivity. These categories collide at crucial points, and it’s from these collisions that the incest reading emerges. Alecto, in her ‘creation,’ can be read as effectively becoming John’s ‘daughter’ inasmuch as she is created by and grows out of him, constituted in his image; this reading is then further bolstered by this passage in Nona:

John loved her. She was John’s cavalier. She loved John. For she so loved the world that she had given them John. For the world so loved John that she had been given. For John had so loved her that he had made her she. For John had loved the world.

This passage is an ironic echo of John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” In positioning Alecto as the ‘Son’ of that passage, we of course can see how she again finds herself shifted into a kinship relation; it of course also aligns her with Kiriona as the ‘Son’ proper and the most elaborate Christ metaphor (though Alecto on her own is already a body lying in state behind an unrolled rock to whom her worshippers pray; she doesn’t need to be linked back to Kiriona to be one of the several Christ-equivalents that Muir introduces).

As Alecto shifts between subject categories under the umbrella position of cavalierhood, so too does Kiriona in desiring to effectively defeat and overthrow Alecto and take her place as John’s cavalier. Setting aside the obvious (that Kiriona was, first, cavalier to Harrow, in what was/is a pretty clearly sexually charged homoerotic relationship, such that John coming to her as a Harrow stand-in is already making some incestuous gestures), Alecto’s relationship to John is—if we are to use the language of Annabel Lee and Lolita—that of being a ‘dead bride.’ We can, therefore, understand Kiriona’s desire to usurp Alecto as a metaphorical gesture towards the common ground between ‘bride’ and ‘daughter’ and the gateway by which the father’s daughter might desire to become the father’s bride.

Crucially—the slipperiness of ‘bride’ and ‘daughter’ hearkens back to the Lolita reading, by which we understand Alecto and Kiriona to occupy positions relative to John that can be strongly connected to the position Dolores Haze holds relative to Humbert Humbert. Humbert’s abuse of Dolores Haze becomes possible through his marrying her mother and thus gaining access to her as her stepfather; he leverages the position of what is effectively fatherhood in order to conceal his rape and abuse, keep her close to him and economically dependent on him, and rhetorically leverage the possibility of state intervention were his abuse of her to be discovered in order to keep her quiet. Fatherhood in Lolita is a sexual and a social violence and one of the clearest and most straightforward articulations of this idea of fatherhood-daughterhood as a patriarchal property relation extending into the realm of sexual abuse.

So what does this John/Kiriona incest reading do? If we refer back to the ideas I outlined at the very beginning of this essay, patriarchal incest can function as a metonym for normative articulations of the father’s power over the daughter and the violence that such a power embodies. In that reading, we’re often talking about the bourgeois father and the bourgeois daughter, seeking to preserve a concentrate of power through capital and regarding the daughter as, effectively, an asset. I think we can extrapolate a similar configuration from John as Emperor and Kiriona as Crown Prince, wherein she functions as his representative, an extension of his power, symbolically his heir (unlikely meaningful beyond this symbolism—I’m reminded of the part in AYU where Judith points out that John’s title being ‘King Undying’ renders functionally void the contracts which stipulate particular conditions on his death, lol—the point is that Kiriona extends his power beyond his own immediate space, much like how the empire is an extension of his power beyond his immediate space, much like how she becomes a weapon of his empire…etc); whatever relation exists between them, it exists in the context of a preservation and extension of John’s power. This necessarily renders Kiriona an extension of John, drawing on a discourse of familial control made possible through the idea of the child as an extension of the parent. The child as the extension of the parent (as the means by which the parent retains their control over the child) = the maintenance of the conditions of imperialism at the cost of the autonomy of the child, as we see through Kiriona’s being turned into effectively a weapon made out of her own dead body.

A lot of this, however, would be possible without the presence of incest. What I think the specifically incestuous dimension does is disrupt the extant distinction between a daughter and someone who is sexually available to the father, and places John’s ‘creation’ of Kiriona (as, if you will, distinct from Gideon; as reanimated on his terms, taking a name given by him, crafted into a weapon to fulfil his ends; you know) on a level with the creation of Alecto, and in so doing places it on a discursive level with rape. The creation of the daughter-bride-cavalier-etc as a meaningful subject position runs on the currency of sexual violence; to be a daughter or a bride under this configuration is to be articulated within a patriarchal order that exists within, and in servitude to, the interests of imperialism. Through the incest metaphor, we can see not only the reach of John’s control over Kiriona, but the way in which that control creates, feeds into, and fortifies other subjectivities, and lends explanatory power across the board. You could boil the metaphor down to just the statement that John incestuously raped Kiriona; whilst this did not literally happen in-text, the same as how Kiriona does not literally sexually desire her father and nor does he sexually desire her, the metaphor functions such that the violence of rape and the violence of what John did to Kiriona become equivocal. (I am thinking, as always, of that throwaway line in Nona where we learn that the twins’ equivalent of ‘Fuck, Marry, Kill’ is ‘Marry, Kill, Reanimate.’)

However, I think we can also consider the ways in which John and Kiriona intervene in (or at least develop) some of the assumptions baked into the traditional patriarchal incest configuration. As I said already, this configuration presupposes whiteness and heterosexuality, and a normative articulation of gender that tends to come part and parcel with both. Alecto is, in a sense, a force of hegemony to which John aspires (in short, an aspirational whiteness; also, I think, the kind of power that can be courted from her subjugation; part of the driving tension of Nona and indeed of portions of the rest of the series comes from this question of how, where and why disempowered people will seek empowerment within hegemony where they can get it). Alecto is white, and normatively feminine, by and large because she was formulated in the image of something which John coveted ie. a symbol of hegemony (and I think it’s significant that she hates the body she was put into, for reasons that could be attributed at least in part to gender or whiteness or both); whiteness and normative femininity are both categories from which Kiriona is excluded (even in a world where race + gender diegetically operate somewhat differently to how they operate in ‘our’ world, this still has explanatory significance), and this discourse of patriarchal incest and sexual violence similarly tends to exclude the ways in which people outside of the white, bourgeois household configuration are dragged into the mire of the violence it perpetuates. In incorporating Kiriona as a necessary counterpart to Alecto (and indeed, in figuring Gideon’s inculcation into cavalierhood as a predatory seduction by a white woman within which her masculinity was objectified), the myopia of the bourgeois house with the bourgeois relations whose violence appears wholly inward-facing is somewhat alleviated; it’s a far more expansive vision of what gendered violence is, what sexual violence is, where it takes place and why.

I don’t think the details of the John-Kiriona relationship are developed enough for me to confidently commit to a position on what eg. his renaming her with a te reo transliteration could be doing in regards to all of this, though I am v interested in this development towards an imperialism which still operates on an axis of Catholicism and antiquity but incorporates indigeneity; I do however think that Kiriona being brought into this circle of sexual violence as socially legible within it (as able to be subjugated by Cytherea and then Harrow and then John) kind of responds to the limitations that Alecto alone would place on the narrative; without this mitigation, there would be a unilateral focus on Alecto and the fantasy of whiteness + its preservation as the driving force behind all of this narrative development, whereas the incorporation of Kiriona (and, I imagine, Harrow, though as I said at the beginning I don’t think Harrow’s role here has been developed all that far just yet) allows us to map these interpretations out across a far broader range of gender expression and subjectivity.

To recap, because I’m well aware that this ran away with me somewhere and ended up absurdly long:

An analytical lens that considers the interpretive function of patriarchal (father/daughter) incest imagines the incest to metonymically reveal the violence baked into normative relations between fathers and daughters under patriarchy; the daughter as extended property of the father, including sexual property.

Cavalierhood can make discursive gestures towards different external relations at different points in the text. Significant ones include: butch/femme, marriage, gender, and kinship relations. All of these converge on the fact of the necromancer/cavalier relationship being an imperialist bolstering; its multitude of metaphorical functions all necessarily circle back to that common denominator.

Alecto and Kiriona are rendered discursively equivalent in relation to John; they both exist, under the ‘doll’ metaphor, under his control as semi-resurrected beings. They also both function as synecdoches of cavalierhood, making clear the subjectivity that the necromancer-cavalier relationship imposes.

Alecto and Kiriona operate within the categories of ‘daughter’ and ‘bride’ relative to John, but these categories are porous. They overlap such that, much like how John’s ‘creation’ of Alecto renders her functionally his daughter, Kiriona’s attempt to effectively coup Alecto and take her place renders her functionally John’s ‘bride.’ All of this takes place at the metaphorical level, but it opens us up to considering what the raised possibility of incest here can do.

What it can do is illustrate an understanding of Kiriona as a literal extension of John, allowing us to ask questions about the social order which understands the child as an extension of the will and power of the parent at the expense of their own autonomy. This is a social unit coherent within and endemic to imperialism. It also allows for a reading within which the daughter is sexually available to the father and the other readings around how Muir figures rape in the series can be brought to the fore; part of the maintenance of John’s control requires the (metaphorical) rape of Kiriona, much like how it required the (metaphorical) rape of Alecto by which the social ordering of the necromancer/cavalier relation was established.

We can also consider how gender and racialisation take this reading beyond the confines of the typical patriarchally incestuous text to think about how Alecto is only one piece of a far more expansive puzzle and Kiriona is another; the subjugation of an indigenous butch woman carries just as much significance irt hegemony and attached pathos as does the subjugation of Alecto, and both are presented not as totalising statements but as portions of a far broader discourse.

This is only tangentially related because obviously we're now talking subtext and speculation rather than actual textual content, but something that makes the possibility of Ianthe and Kiriona's weird little chussy entanglements so appealing to me is how each can manage to act as a proxy for about three people at once for the other; or to put it more clearly, as repositories for a displaced desire (however extracted or metaphorical) that cannot be directly realised and so has to undergo some kind of mimetic transformation. It's the displaced desire for Harrow, obviously, but also a displaced desire for Coronabeth, and a displaced desire for John. (It reminds me a lot of what Cytherea was doing with Gideon, wherein she couldn't oust John in any real sense because she held no meaningful power over him, but the site where she did hold power was the site where particular social structuring made it so that she was able to manipulate and seduce his daughter, who of course represented the absolute proof of very betrayal that she was turning against him for. Like, sex as a currency of power is a very recurrent theme here.)

Anyway—I hope this was helpful lmao!

[spookyscaryskidnpump]

my thoughts on spooky month 6

copy pasted from a page and a half of google doc. crying. spoilers inbound.putting it under the cut cuz its super long. also swear warning.

Ok to start off LILA. LILA MY GAL NO UR DOING UR BEST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Im crying im actually fucginf crying. She's trying. So hard. Skid is trying so hard. THEY'RE DOING THEIR BEST PLEASEEEEE. Father Gregor can go EAT SHIT. THEY'RE TRYING AND THAT'S WHAT COUNTS GODDAMNIT.

Susie… Susie no… please… she deserves better istgggggg. What happened to their parents? Are they actually just busy? Are they DEAD? Holy shit what if they're dead. Poor Pump, poor Susie, god please just let these kiddos be ok. PLEASE. ABUELO WONDER IS TYING SO HARD BUT SUSIE KNOWS IT ISN'T REALLY FROM HER PARENTS IM CRYING. SUSIE NOOOOOO

FATHER GREGOR I HATE YOU. ok well he obvs did some good but STILL. GREGOR. STFU GREGOR. I get that hes trying but U CANT JUST SAY ALL THAT SHIT ABOUT JUDGEMENT AND THEN JUDGE HER HER FUCKING HOUSE GOT BROKEN INTO!! YOU DONT HAVE THE FUCKING CONTEXT!!!! ARGHFDGHJSGHJKAGHSD. Also DAMN IS HE A CULTIST NOW?? IS HE DEAD?? WHAT?!?!?!

ROYYYYYY ROY MY BOI NOOOOOO poor guy :( i understand why he hates the kids they DID kinda ruin him so. At least he knows theyre trying now :( and ross n rob just ASSUME he did something bad isnt helping here!!!! I get that theyre also trying to help him and its nice to see him opening up to them about stuff (even if we dont get to know what specifically PELO WHY) but PLEASE get this kid an anger management class or smthn PLEASE. He needs SO MUCH THERAPY. I dont think hes gonna get therapy because im pretty sure his parents are Part Of The Problem but STILL.  Also FUCKER LITERALLY GOT POSSESED BY A DEMON?????? THATS GOTTA BE TRAUMATIC TF

Side note i love ross and robert dearly and i appreciate them doing their best to help on both sides i love them smmmmmm AUGH

KEVIN AND RADFORD FRIENDSHIP REALLLLLLLLLL i am SO fucking happy about that!!!! Also Kevin having conflicted feelings on the kids FAIR. Similar thing to Roy except hes an adult with a semi-functional support network and is able to understand that theyre just dumb kids and they dont actually mean any harm. He’s harsher on the hatzgang cuz theyre teens and old enough to know stealing is wrong but Skid n Pump are little kiddos they dont know better. Also him disapproving of father gregor REAL THO. also HE GOT POSSESSED TOO?? TRAUMA CENTRAL HOLY SHIT

PATTY DESERVES TO HAVE A GUN ACTUALLY. Also JOHN ANGST JOHN ANGST JOHN ANGST! IS HIS KID DEAD? IS HIS DAUGHTER OK HOLY SHIT. ALSO THEM HELPING THE KIDS PROPERLY IM CRYIG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

WHAT WAS EVERMORE DOING WITH THE HOBOMEN???? HELLO??????

I SAW THAT CULT NECKLACE UNDER IGNACIOS SHIRT. I FUCKING SAW IT. CALLED IT BITCH!!!!!!

Rick just has the WORST luck lmao

STREBER IS ALIVE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DEXTER NO PLEASE AUGH…… HIS MOM TOO……

JAUNE AND ROSS’S DAD… HE'S REAL HE EXISTS!! I get ur trying jaune but that is NOT the best way to comfort poor lila… AT LEAST SHES TRYING THO I APPRECIATE HER

THE ENTIRE NEWGROUNDS ENDING?? THE THIEVES AND THE CANDY DEALER IN CAHOOTS WITH THE CULT???? HELLO??????

MOLOCH IS GONE. he deserved it but also THE KIDS ARE SO SAD ABOUT IT? Like they don't really get it but they just watched someone they thought was their friend DIE. HOLY SHIT.

finally. SKID AND PUMP. KIDDOS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ok for real tho theyre so much more self aware than the fandom and bulk of the show give them credit for?? Like Skid is VERY aware of his dad being dead/possibly missing and legit just doesn’t wanna talk about it. He knows what death is and he finds fun in it to cope. My poor sweet boyo… and PUMP. PUMP ANSWERING THE CALL AUGHHHHHH HE WANTS HIS PARENTS BACK IM CRYING. SUSIE AND ABUELO ARE DOING THEIR BEST AND HE'S TRYING SO HARD AND AAAAAAAAAAUGH. Also him getting possessed by Moloch while having Star-Eyes basically debunks the theory of the Star-Eyes being a form of possession which is FASCINATING. Anyway that scene with Susie and Pump got me misty eyed and then during the ending with Skid and Lila i actually genuinely started crying. I just want them to be happy. Please let them be happy. Please. PLEASE.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

I've had this in my head for like, years, just making itself known every once in a while. Pre-serum Steve and Bucky.

I've seen a lot of that, but they usually write or draw pre-serum Steve being the bottom as if that feisty, asthmatic twig isn't stubborn enough to top. (I prefer top Steve if you couldn't tell)

- ✨️ anon

Yes! Yes! I love me some small feisty top and/or small feisty dom Steve!! I completely agree there needs to be more, I've seen plenty of both myself but I can always get on board with more porn, lmao.

Anyway... this was supposed to just be top pre-serum Steve, set pre-war, but, uh... I ended up blacking out and writing dom pre-serum Steve instead. Also. This ended up being human furniture kink/bondage/edging? So... I don't know how we got here 💀 but please do read it if you're interested because 😮‍💨😮‍💨

It's been a long fucking time since Steve's felt this easy and loose. He's got nothing to do today. It's a good, quiet Saturday and there's no rattle in his chest thanks to the early warm weather that isn't hot and humid enough to trigger his asthma like what tends to happen in the height of Brooklyn summers. Even better, his joints don't really even hurt today 'cause he hasn't done so much walking, cooking, or cleaning. The apartment is neat and tidy around him already. There are no sheets or clothes to launder. Last night, he even was able to steal an hour or so in their communal bathrooms for a mostly warm bath seeing as all the other tenants were out for their Friday night dancing, drinking, or whatever else they do to let off steam that's cheap.

It's a good day.

Light pouring in from their open windows along with the sounds of Brooklyn below their fire escape, the faint murmurs of neighbors through recklessly narrow walls, and the flicking of a thin newspaper with every page he turns. There's also, of course, the noise of his rasping inhales and exhales, accompanied by a slurp here and there of steaming, watered-down coffee from one of their good mugs. Steve can't handle too much caffeine, besides, he'd rather leave the bulk of their scrounged-up coffee grounds for Bucky. He's the one tumbling out of bed in the morning before it's light and usually coming home well after it's dark. And--

Oh, yeah.

That's definitely part of why he's relaxed. Not the coffee, not the clean apartment, not the newspaper (which, really, has nothing he'd like to think too hard about written across its pages, otherwise he's going to ruin his own casual calm), but Bucky.

Bucky is here, too. Just out of sight. But it's alright because Steve can hear--even with one ear that doesn't work so good--the soft, even-yet-ragged-edged breaths of Bucky.

Bucky is keeping him company, not by running his motor mouth about the sci-fi book he's most recently borrowed or talking about his plans for Saturday night, but by keeping quiet and keeping Steve comfortable.

Bucky is being very good and, really, that's the best part of Steve's Saturday afternoon.

Bucky is so good for him beneath his heels. He's still and resilient underneath Steve's feet crossed at the ankle. Just breathing even though Steve knows that he wants to whine and shake and plaster himself against Steve as he usually does when they do things like this. He's not doing any of that, though, because Steve told him sternly not to. Not if he wants to cum today.

He's to be still--as motionless as a piece of furniture. Right now, he's being a very obedient footstool. Earlier, when Steve first made himself a cup of coffee, Steve was considering making him into a pretty coffee table. But, if he did that, then he would miss out on the simple pleasure of feeling each and every subdued tremble of Bucky's body beneath him. Half quivering with unreleased need, just aching to be touched and made to cum, and half quivering with the strain of holding himself perfectly still.

Stillness is a challenge because, well, they've been at this for some time, sensual, easy, clear-headed relaxation for Steve and a syrupy, hot, spaced-out zone for Bucky. That, and, Steve hasn't been easy on him.

First, this morning, after waking entangled in Bucky's arms, Steve used his morning wood against him by stroking him until Bucky was squirming aimlessly against the pleasure and making little sounds in his sleep at how nice his dreams had become. Like that, warm and cuddled together, Steve made sure to go slow and loose with just enough stimulation to make his cock drip sticky, wet smears of pre-cum all across the smooth, flat muscle of his lower belly without rousing him to the real world but still good enough to leave him twitching and making all these precious, eat-me-up whimpers in his sleep.

Then, when he did wake up with a shocked, possessed gasp of sudden pleasure, Steve slithered down underneath their thread-bare blankets to breathe in the hot, humid, heady musk of Bucky's arousal, swallowing him down as much as he could. Sucking him and sucking him and sucking him until he was dizzy and he'd already had to squeeze his fist around the base of Bucky's cock twice. Bucky didn't get to cum this morning, leaving his cock angry and his balls heavy and swollen but drawn up, convinced they'd be allowed to cum sooner rather than later. Cute. Bucky didn't cum. But, Steve did. He rutted against Bucky's aching, weeping, red-hot cock until he spilled between their bodies. After he was finished dragging out the last smoldering coals of pleasure, he smeared the mess he made into Bucky's skin just because. Just because he can. He wants Bucky to smell like sex. He wants Bucky to not be able to twitch without the scent wafting into his nose and being sucked deep, down into his lungs, reminding him of what filth they've done.

After that, Bucky made them both breakfast. No clothes allowed. His reward for making them a good meal? Another almost-orgasm from Steve. This time, his pleasure and denial came from humping against Steve's leg after he choked down his serving of food without tasting it. He was much too interested in getting four of Steve's fingers in his mouth--shoved down his throat until his eyes watered and his own drool smeared onto his cute cleft chin from choking--after being hand-fed, kneeling on the floor between Steve's lithe, spread thighs. He had to let himself go, be dumb and sweet enough to hump Steve's leg like a dog, his face burning with humiliation and pleasure, mouth hanging open, but be well-trained enough to stop when Steve said stop, reading the signs of his approaching orgasm across his face like an open book. Steve (lightly) kicked him in the chest just to make sure he wouldn't cum--pushing him back from kneeling to spread out on their floor, naked and so hard that Steve could watch, standing, towering, over him as his cock twitched and pulsed in time with his pounding heart. Bucky whimpering the entire time like the kicked puppy he is.

gif by @/zanephillips

Lunch was held in a similar affair except for Bucky kneeling next to Steve on the couch in the living room, not at the rickety dining table with two mismatched wooden dining chairs. That, and, Bucky didn't cook lunch. He was too spacy for Steve to even let him try. So, Steve heated up some leftovers from the other night and brought them to Bucky to, again, feed him and then deny him. He was really surprised Bucky survived that because, between breakfast and lunch, Steve had been alternating between drawing Bucky, demanding he hold various different poses for him, and jerking Bucky off until he came right, right to the edge. Then. He stopped and went back to drawing. At some point, Bucky started crying. His eyes were all big and wet and innocent, his soft, pink mouth quivering, silently begging for mercy while his cock wept just as urgently from between his legs, curved up against his tummy and so fucking hard it had to hurt. His expression, raw and desperate, looks pretty damn good taking up a whole five pages of Steve's sketchbook--he wanted to get it from every angle he could and track the progression of it as Bucky cried himself out, shaky and needy but also not willing to break the scene when he knows if he waits like Steve wants, it's always so much better--but that look was much more incredible etched across Bucky's face in real life. Nothing will compare to that. Pencil on paper could never crumble like Bucky can when he's in the throes of submission.

With lunch finished, that's when Bucky's job to be a footstool began. To prep him, Steve prepped him. He worked three artist's fingers into his tight little hole with thick Vaseline--neither of them will admit it, but just the smell of it gets them both more than a little hot, it's, just, fucking trained response at this point--to stretch him out for their biggest, heaviest dildo. They don't have many. And the way Bucky's gotten then-? God, Steve doesn't wanna know who he sweet-talked or what part of town he had to go to. They just have them. And Steve, by God, will use them. He'll stuff one into Bucky that takes effort to keep inside, making him clench like a vice around it so it won't slip out--making him all full and keeping him aware of it. Then, with that inside him, Steve used his leather belt to tie Bucky's legs together, clamping his thighs shut just above the knee. He doesn't want to get away, all the moaning and ragged panting and jerky, needy squirming says that clear as day, same with his red-almost-purple, severely erect cock, but he surely won't be able to now. He won't be able to crawl. He won't be able to not feel his heavy, pent-up balls between his legs. he won't be able to do anything but stay nice and still while clenching hard on his nice, fat toy. He won't be able to see, either, since Steve took a clean rage and blindfolded him. He gagged him, too. Just because. Furniture can't see. Furniture can't talk. Furniture can't move. Furniture can't cum.

But...

Apparently, this little footstool can get wet.

He's dripping all over the floor, all that squeezing tight around his stuffed-up hole must almost be milking his prostate, making his cock just leak and leak. And the heated drip-drop of pre-cum spilling messily out from the slit of his engorged, soooo stiff cock isn't the only wetness. He's stopped crying by now, he doesn't have any tears left, nothing but hollow sobs in his chest. The other wetness that Steve is going to meanly make Bucky clean up later--it's his filthy little mess after all, being so eager and dumb that he can't even play a game for a few hours, following the simple rules Steve sets for him, just be a footrest! It's not that hard!--is his drool. He's drooling badly around the gag.

He's a fucking mess.

And he's starting to get even messier. He's breaking. Cracking. Shattering.

Underneath Steve's heels--that he might be digging into Bucky's back on purpose, maybe, he'll never tell--Bucky's breathing is getting less and less even, more and more harsh, his ribcage flexing and heaving. He's squirmier, too. His thighs quivering, challenged by having to hold him up while being held together themselves. His arms, too, are shaking. He can't take his own weight. He can't bear it. It's too much.

With a muffled, choking moan, Bucky suddenly collapses onto his hands, leaving him ass-up. Apparently, if his agonized, shuddering squeak is anything to go by, the change in angle has made the dildo inside him shove deeper into him.

Cute.

Steve does nothing more than exasperatedly, impatiently fold the newspaper he's been "reading," tossing it down across his lap, and look over at Bucky. He's a hell of a lot redder and shinier than he was the last time Steve saw him. His hair is plastered to his forehead and blindfold keeping him locked onto nothing but the sensations happening to his own body. The rest of the world tuned out. He looks feverish. If his eyes weren't covered, they'd be hazy and fucked-out, lost to anything other than Steve. And with Steve? He'll just cry and curl around him, begging for more. Anything. Anything else Steve wants to do to him. Just more. Please!

"Really?" Steve clicks his tongue, rubbing his foot along Bucky's side and belly and hip. He feels just how hard he's breathing, heaving in air and pushing it out harshly. He's quaking. Quivering. And he convulsed when Steve lets his foot uninterestedly drag over his cock. Steve knows he has shit circulation. He knows his bare feet are cold as shit over Bucky's feverish, edged cock. He doesn't care. Let him quiver and shake and let him dig his teeth into his gag trying and failing to deal with the cold, sharp pleasure. He's afraid of it, he's trying to hold back. It hurts! He doesn't know Steve's gonna make him cum like this. He's trying to save himself, how cute.

With enough force to make Bucky feel hot flares of agonizing, pleasurable pain against Steve's cold, boney foot, Steve pushes his cock up into his heaving body, pinning it tightly and rubbing back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. It doesn't take more than a minute before Bucky is letting out all these sharp, needy, gurgly sounds that mean I'm gonna cum! I'm close! I'm gonna cum! Guh-gonna! Gonna cum! Steve knows. Steve doesn't stop.

He lets Bucky cum like that, face-down, ass-up with his eyes blinded, his mouth stuffed, his thighs tied together, his greedy, twitching hole stuffed, and his balls so overfull and denied that he feels like he's gonna burst at the seams.

He does.

He cums everywhere.

The orgasm so fucking intense that he can't make a sound. He can't move. He just goes rigid and lets Steve rip it out of him. Over-overwhelmed.

"Good boy," Steve purrs, all too smug and satisfied with the teeth-rattling intensity of Bucky's orgasm.

Bucky squeaks out one last sob before going entirely limp. He's so worn out, melting down onto his belly, that he doesn't even make a sound when his oversensitive cock grates against their wooden floors.

[iv3lostcontrolofmylif3]

Jonatello headcanons of mine, cuz I'm about to head into work and need the serotonin boost.

Keep in mind, most if not all of these take place when they are college age or older.

• Casey's love language is touch. He's just been brought up to show affection in a very tactile way. Why do you think he and Raph end up shoving or smacking each other for fun? Donnie is a little overwhelmed by it at first (especially when their relationhip was in the beginning stages of realizing 'ohhh hes not being an ass, he's flirting'..)

• Donnie does eventually become so used to it he expects it. To the point where if Casey's not greeted him with a brush of a knuckle against his cheek or chin, he knows the hockey player is upset or not feeling well.

•Donnie's pretty good at keeping the lines of communication open at these times, letting Casey know he's there for him and ready to listen/talk it out if it's an issue pertaining to them. Or if he just needs a sounding board.

•Usually this leads to Casey all but crawling into his lap cuz he just cant hold out anymore. He's like the worlds biggest paint flecked cat. He'd probably drape himself across Donnie's keyboard for attention if given half the chance.

• He also relishes being at least 4 inches taller than Donnie. When stood side by side it's not that noticeable, and the bulk of donnie's shell can make manuevering a little awkward. But Casey's favorite way to start his morning is to loom behind Don while he's making his first (cough-sixth)cup of coffee for the day and nuzzle into his neck. Sometimes it even entices Donnie back into bed with him. For cuddles or uhhh otherwise.

• He's also an anime nerd, you know his ass pulled an old fashioned 'kabedon' on the turtle a couple times. Especially when he was doing his damndest to transition from antagonizing Donnie to flirting with Donnie lol. (Yes, He got punched in the kidney the first time. Amidst a flurry of flustered sputtering.)

• "Worth it" Casey had wheezed.

• Donnie isnt the only one who gets flustered sometimes, honestly the easiest way for Donnie to get Casey fidgeting is by being sincerely sweet. Not like saccarinley, but I mean, Donnie's way of showing affection is mostly sarcastic barbs or dry humor. Casey KNOWS compliments are hard won by him. So when he gets one instead of getting his ego stroked he gets so happy he just kinda doesnt really know what to do and needs to reboot a sec.

• Rebooting is usally him tugging at his bandana (sometimes over his face). Sometimes in bed Donnie will be whispering sweet nothings to him and the poor guy will just be burrowing further under the pillows, because gah! Too many emotions!

• Donnie knows exactly what he's doing. He usually waits till they're spooning (D is the big spoon, because otherwise Casey's just kinda clinging to his carapace like a scarab beetle.) Cuz then Casey can't get away lol.

• Affectionate antagonization, that's their relationship in a nutshell lmao.

Would anyone wanna see more headcanons of these two? I have thoughts.

Mostly empty ones but y'know.

[elix8r]

The Frat Diaries Glossary (heads up: I realized while writing that i’m using a lot of lingo that not everyone might be familiar so this should help you out with understanding everything and the story will make more sense esp if you’re not already familiar with Greek life and also this is all based on my personal experiences so it might be different at each school):

Rush: a process where prospective sorority and fraternity members and the actual sororities and fraternities meet each other and through this they pick out the people that they want in their organization. Sorority rush (recruitment) is much more of an organized event where PNMs come weeks before school actually start to rush. They have specified schedules that let them know which sororities to meet. This process is so intricate lmao I literally thought I was dying when I went through it cause everyday I had to wake up at like 5am to get ready and got back to my dorm at like 8pm. Each day the amount of sororities you can get back lessen until the last day where you are left with your top two and you choose from there. Fraternity rush is much more of a laidback event that also happens before school starts. Fraternity rush is more about who you know and connections. Many start inviting potential members over the summer to their houses to see if they vibe well with everyone else. Then during the official week of rush, frats will hold events or dinners that are invite only and from there they narrow their choices before handing out bids. 

PNM: potential new member 

Pledge: A non-initiated member of a fraternity. He isn’t considered a full-fledged member and this is usually where the “hazing” happens and a good chunk of them are first years

Chapter: a weekly mandatory meeting held at the sorority house where members come and learn about upcoming events and etc.

Initiation: a very very secretive ceremony that is different for every organization but this is where the new members are officially indoctrinated into being a member of the sorority or fraternity. It’s usually really formal (almost cult-like with coordinated dress code, usually long white dresses) and a big deal. 

Bid: the official invitation you receive from the sorority or fraternity to join them 

Bid day: an important day at the end of rush week where new members run home (sometimes literally) and the sororities throw huge celebrations to celebrate the new members that have received a bid from them 

GBig/Big/little: a big is usually an older member of your organization that is a mentor figure that basically takes you under their wing and helps you adjust to your life in Greek. While not always, these relationships are usually one that develops to an actual older sister/younger sister situation. Your GBig would be the big of your big and all together you would refer to everyone in your group as a family and the little would be the new member

Tailgate: pre-game for a big sports game and it usually involves lots of day drinking, barbecuing, yard games, and socializing 

Darty: day-party

Formal/Semi-formal: kinda like college prom for fraternities and sororities. Usually held in like some city (New Orleans) or a special place and it’s really fun as you’re probably gonna be drunk at it

Game day pin/stickers: Im not sure that this is a thing outside of the South but because it is a thing everyone has on gamedays i’m going to add it. It’s like pins or stickers that usually showcases your sorority’s support for your school. Pins are worn by the members (and maybe parents or significant others as they aren’t handed out in bulks like the stickers are so if you see someone who isn’t in that sorority wearing a pin, then they probably have a close relationship with whoever gave it to them) and stickers are put on just anyone who wants one. Click this link for some examples. 

Letters: the Greek letters for you fraternity or sorority. For example the two main organizations in this story is Epsilon Nu (EN) and Alpha Epsilon Sigma (AEΣ). Many Greek members will be seen sporting their letters on their shirts, hats, computers, backpacks, water bottles, etc.

Dues: how much you pay the organization and it usually covers the cost for the house, meals, membership, etc. 

Date Party/Socials/Mixer: social events that usually have a theme or is held with other fraternities. I’ve been to like My-tie, ski lodge, Hawaiian luau, country-club, etc and they’re just a real fun time to socialize and spend time with your fellow sisters

Philanthropy: Usually each organization has a specific charity or awareness they raise money for (ZTA raises breast cancer awareness and Tri-Delt raises money for St. Jude) and there will also be drives or events held to raise money or volunteer

Executive Board: aka exec is the leadership council for your organization. For example: President, VP of Recruitment, Standards chair, etc.

Standards: This is like HR or risk management. This is the board that makes sure the girls follow rules and policies and if they don’t, then you will be called to standards and given consequences based on what you did wrong. Example: I got fined for talking to a PNM who was a friend of mine outside of rush during recruitment week.

Author’s Note: I might add more as I write but seriously if you have any questions do not hesitate to send them my way and i will be more than happy to do my best to try to explain things further also I have made my mind to further expand this universe and create stories with some of the other members! so look out for those in the near future!