#asja writes

[cabinofimagines]

Happy (birth)day

This is my first writing since I wrote my school deadlines and I hope it doesn't suck entirely. Also!! Happy Birthday Danny (and Jason Grace of course!) Specific request I allowed is also by Danny :) Pairing: Platonic Jason, Piper, and more! Romantic Leo Valdez x reader :) Request: Can I request camp shenanigans where Jason and reader have their birthdays on the same week (like me and Jason!) So Piper and Leo throw us a surprise party in the bunker? Obvsly Leo and reader are dating 🥺 but you can choose whether Piper is just there for platonic support to her besties or of it's still Jasper era Warnings: none! Word count: 2.2k -Asja

You were suspicious already when, as you had breakfast, Leo did not greet you excitedly. Even worse, you did not see your boyfriend at the Hephaestus table at all. He wouldn’t have forgotten about your and Jason’s birthday’s, right? Leo must be planning something, and as you didn’t manage to spot Piper, who arrived at camp a few days ago, you figured they must have made a plan together. Your suspicions were correct, as when you met with Jason to ask him if he had any ideas, you both were approached by Harley. 

“Big bro Leo told me to deliver this,” he handed you a small device, saluted, and ran off. “Thanks…?” you said, looking at his disappearing figure. Jason carefully took the device off your hands. “He must be planning something,” Jason examined the device closely, “I’m guessing with Piper as she wasn’t at breakfast either,” he sighed, “I just hope they didn’t entirely skip breakfast.” “I am sure they had something to eat, Leo loves food after all.” You noticed something on the device and quickly grabbed it, “Is this a button…?” you pressed it, and almost dropped the device as a small, hologram Leo came out. 

“Sure hope the timer works on this thing, right Pipes?” Leo laughed, before stepping away and holding his hands behind his back, as if they were bound together. Off camera you could hear Piper laugh. “Would be awkward if it didn’t,” her voice sounded, “otherwise the whole ruse might fall through. 3.. 2.. 1.. go!”

“Ah! I’ve been captured!” Leo looked around frantically, “I’m not sure where I am but I sure hope this lil thing will get out-” he coughed as he cowered, “Please, whoever finds this- I need help-” Leo pretended to think and shook his head, “All I remember is this name- Nona and something about a vault?” he looked straight into the camera, “please find me, and bring all your friends! I can’t die on my lover’s and my best friend's birthdays. It would ruin their lives! Please-” A loud rumble sounded from somewhere behind the camera, and Leo looked up before loudly exclaiming “FUCK” as the hologram stopped. 

“Nona?” you asked and Jason laughed. “It’s a Latin prefix for nine, he’s in Bunker 9,” he explained. “Leo’s a nerd,” you said affectionately, “Well, let’s round up all our friends before Leo fakes his death again.” 

───────────

Unsurprisingly, all your friends were really easy to find. As in, most of them were already talking, not suspiciously at all, in a circle, right outside the dining hall. Even more not suspicious behavior was when Jason and you approached them Percy very loudly went, “Hey guys! I sure hope Leo is okay, ah-” Annabeth elbowed him. “Happy birthdays!” she smiled, “Anything fun planned?” 

“Funny that you mention Leo, Percy,” you sighed, pretending to be worried “seems like he’s in a bit of a pickle right now.” “(Y/n), we both know he’s come out of worse situations,” Jason said next to you, and he put a hand on your shoulder, “The things he said was so cryptic, I think it’s for the best if we just let him figure it out on his own.” 

“Oh?” Nico feigned interest, “I love cryptic hints, what are they?” You could see Will hide a smile as he looked at his lover. 

“Something about a Nona-” you gasped, “Wait, Jason! Do you think it’s an ex?” Jason huffed, to conceal his laugh. “Maybe, or it’s Latin for nine, but Leo doesn’t know much Latin so that’s unlikely.” Jason sighed, “I’m sorry (Y/n), I guess we’ll have to travel around the U.S. to find Leo.” 

“Perhaps a monster is forcing him to learn Latin,” you looked at Jason, “and we both know how that changes people,”  “What do you mean, ‘how Latin changes people’?” Jason hit your arm. “They get all serious, Jason,” you gave him a look of pity, “and for Leo that might be deadly.” 

Jason gave your statement a moment of thought before nodding sadly. “Who wants to hold a funeral?” he asked, “That way from this year on we can celebrate three things on this day.” 

“How about we hold the funeral in Bunker 9?” Annabeth suggested, “It’s a place he loved most.” Before you could react, Nico started walking away. “I’m getting a coffin, be right back.” 

“Where will he get a coffin from?” Percy muttered and Will smiled. “He still has some left over from refurbishing cabin 13.” 

“Why?” Percy whispered, not expecting an answer. 

───────────

As your little progression moved closer to Bunker 9, you had trouble keeping it all together. Nico had six skeletons carry an empty coffin up front. Meg and Grover caught up to you with a bunch of flowers, all potted, which each person carried one of. Except for Jason, who was carrying a torch to light the pyre with that was yet to be built. 

The entire Hephaustus cabin was following you, holding up their banner, and Harley excitedly kept running around. Of course, you were certain everyone was aware that this was all a joke, especially when Chiron stopped you to ask what was happening and you simply went; “Oh, Leo got killed by Latin,” 

Chiron was confused, but did not ask further questions about the funeral progression. In the end, it made sense as Leo probably got permission to do something in Bunker 9. As you approached the bunker, you noticed that the door was opened, and as the skeletons with the coffin entered first you only heard a muffled “SUPRISE!” from inside. As you entered, most of the progression gave up the pretense, but Jason and you had a goal. So, fully ignoring Leo, Piper, and all the other people that were in the bunker, you both stepped onto the nearest empty table. You noticed Leo standing on the front row, but quickly looked away. 

“Today,” Jason’s voice boomed over the crowd, which was being rowdy, “we lost our dear friend Leonidas Valdez,” The crowd was silent except-

“HEY! I am not dead!” Leo’s said loudly. “Sometimes-” you sniffed, “I can still hear his voice. Gone too soon, rest in peace my love.” 

“What the fuck happened-” Leo exclaimed. 

“If I understand correctly,” Everyone suddenly looked at the entrance, seeing Chiron standing there, “You became Latin, a dead language.” Chiron’s scrutinizing gaze went over the party, “But as you seem rather alive, I think instead you shall be having stable duty for the next month, starting tomorrow, as you did not request to hold a party.” 

“Aw man,” Leo sighed, “Can we at least hold it now?” he looked with a hopeful gaze to Chiron who sighed. “As long as I do not perceive anything more to do with this activity. Happy Birthday (Y/n), Jason,” and he galloped away. 

Jason and you burst out laughing, as Leo pouted at you two. After you calmed down, you slowly made your way off the table. 

“Your timer didn’t work,” you said as you softly gave your boyfriend his device, and a kiss on the cheek. He fidgeted with the device for a little bit before he sighed. “So you made it more dramatic?” he asked, after which he sighed, “I love you. Happy Birthday, my love.” he smiled, “Oh, and (Y/n) of course-” 

“Hey!” you gasped and Jason laughed. “Love you too, Leo.” he said as he put his hand on Leo’s head, petting him “Pisada Carinosa” he muttered. 

“That’s it I am finding Nona and dating her-” you turned around, only to be met with Piper. “You could date me if you’re done with Leo.” she smiled and you grinned, before hugging her. “I just might,” you joked as you let her go. Leo quickly grabbed your hand, and pulled you towards him and pressed a kiss on your lips. “Nuhuh- you are not getting rid of me that easily corazoncito,” 

───────────

After a while, Piper said it was time for the main activity of the day. She led everyone into a “room” that was hidden behind curtains. As you walked in, you saw a gigantic screen and piles of pillows on the floor. 

She instructed everyone to sit down, as Leo and her handed out buckets of popcorn and other snacks. You sat next to Jason, who was holding a letter. 

“What’s that?” you asked, and Jason looked up. “Thalia couldn’t make it to camp, but she left a letter.” He showed you a picture of her and Reyna, standing at the Grand Canyon, “it’s weird how that’s where it started,” he smiled sadly, “how far we’ve all come since meeting each other.” “Hug?” you asked and he nodded. 

Engulfed in your presence, Jason began to relax. Certainly, losing his memories was hard and he often doubted whether he deserved Leo and Piper as friends, or if they even wanted to be his friend. But nowadays, he couldn’t be more certain that what he had was his. You, Leo, Piper, Frank, Hazel, Reyna, Bobby, his sister Thalia. All these friendly faces, that mean so much to him. He thanked the gods for his spot in both camps, and for allowing him to be happy and alive. As he let you go again, he had to blink away his tears. 

“Thanks,” he whispered, and he leaned back against the pillows. Shortly after, the big screen started playing. Before the movie even got to its proper beginning, Leo squeezed himself between you and Jason, leaning mostly on Jason. Piper sat on your other side, and cuddled up on your shoulder, as you leaned a bit against Leo. 

The Barbie opening sequence started playing, to great delight of the people in the room. 

“How?” you whispered, “This movie has barely been out for a week-” “My dad pulled some strings,” Piper smiled, “got us a private release.” “That’s awesome.” you grabbed her hand, and looked her in the eye, “Piper I love you-” she laughed. “Anything for my friends.” 

───────────

After the movie was done, Leo asked the real question. 

“So who are the Barbie and Ken of Camp Half-Blood?” Out of nowhere he got out prisoner signs, one with Barbie on it and one with Ken on it. 

“Jason is Ken, right?” Piper stated, “I mean look at him, it’s like he’s made for the ‘beach’ job description-” unanimous sounds of agreement came from the crowd, and Leo gave Jason the Ken sign. 

“I fully agree.” Leo said, before he got interrupted by the laughter of Nico.

“Sorry-” the son of Hades wheezed, “Will’s pouty because he thinks Piper used charmspeak to convince people Jason is Ken-” Nico grinned as his boyfriend tried to forcefully shut him up by smothering him.

“Barbie is a doctor though,” you grinned, “I think Will makes a perfect Barbie.” 

“Oh! I was going to suggest our local Barbie, Pip-” before Leo could finish the sentence Piper harshly stepped on his toe, before ripping the Barbie sign out of his hands. 

“And our local Barbie!” she grinned evily, “Will Solace!” she handed the son of Apollo his sign, and he hesitantly accepted it, and he stood up. 

“Well, as I am Barbie I guess I will go to my Ken now. I hate you for this Di Angelo,” Will walked towards Jason, and sat down next to him, slightly awkwardly. As you looked at Nico, you saw that the smile of sheer delight had not yet left his face, “Love you too, Barbie.” he called from across the room, eliciting some laughter from the audience. 

───────────

As the party was slowly calming down, you had a moment of calm with your friends. Leo was softly holding you from behind, as you were conversing with Piper and Jason. 

“Thanks for organizing this guys,” you said looking at Piper and Leo. 

“It’s nothing,” Piper smiled, “I’m happy we got this many people here in the end.” 

“Yeah, you’re welcome! Too bad I have stable duty now though.” Leo looked sulky. “I might try to talk him out of it,” Piper said, “After all, your birthday is in like two days too.” 

“That’s true, hey Jason,” you turned your gaze to the son of Jupiter. “Yes?” he returned your gaze. “Wanna fake our deaths for Leo’s birthday party.” “Of course,” Jason grinned. 

“Please don’t” Leo pleaded. “I’ll help!” Piper smiled. After a second of silence, everyone broke out in laughter. 

It was indeed a happy (birth)day.

[velvetineblue]

not that I have exactly been the pinnacle of activity anyway, but just fyi !! you may have to be extra patient about replies for a bit, O beloved oomfs of mine < 3

[goldentangerines]

of leaving

from: willows in gold

word count: i have no idea. it's just vibes (the vibes being death, past trauma, violence, blood, sad, I CRIED ok, loss of a loved one, mcd?, heavy angst etc you get the gist. it's not very explicit because i tried to keep it as vague as possible but yeah. as i said: vibes)

this scene happens at the end of book one. this is the fifth draft i wrote up for it and they were all Good but i need to get it Right. so take this one and let it be known that i have one very different version in my documents that left my ex gf so stunned she couldn't talk to me for at least twenty minutes and that one is still my favorite ever and i will not share that one except for publishing lmao

taglist: @emelkae @nicola-writes @talesofsorrowandofruin @venustversailles and idk who else i really ought to make a proper list somewhere :-) please lmk what you think i'm so insecure!! enjoy <3

///

And Asja can't move. She can't, can't reach Damian, who's beat up and bleeding, and the only thing she hears roaring in her head is the voice of a woman long gone whispering in her ear that everything's going to be alright.

In another time, another place, another life, maybe it could have been. But not here, and not for her.

Don't die, yes? Don't.

Too little, too late.

Somewhere above her, Damian screams. He still fights, Asja reckons, but it's pointless.

In her heart, the woman sings a song so terrible and sweet it takes Asja's breath away. She strokes her cheek, a gentle smile in her voice while their story unfolds note for note.

It feels almost like home, this embrace, and with it comes back all that was lost, all that she had tried to forget — the months down in the catacombs that had never been touched by sunlight, the hurt and loss and the endless torture.

Almost like home, almost like a dream.

In the dream the dirt and grit of weeks past clings to both their faces, and the lice have made a home in their hair, the illnesses in their blood. In the dream they can hear the screams of countless others, tortured with golden whips, silver knives and salt in their wounds. In the dream they're in their cell, huddled in the corner. The woman whose name Asja forgot — or never learned, maybe — holds her, sings a tune to soothe her like a newborn baby, and repeats, repeats, repeats, that everything is going to be alright. They both know it's a lie. They're both aware of the black stain on her clothes, the wound that runs deep, of their time crawling to an end. They can feel it, and they know.

They know.

Reality bleeds through and washes the memory away as Damjan tries to make his way over to where Asja lies in a puddle of her own blood, gasping for air. And Asja hears the voice of the woman who's been dead for three long, long years, and she knows.

She tries to look at Damian, but her head lolls to the side and she can only see his legs.

He's almost there, maybe three long steps away, still held back by people they don't know, and he shouts at her, angry, furious in helplessness, fear, but Asja knows, as her hand twitches towards him and fails to move, that she won't get to say goodbye, not this time.

Don't die, yes? Don't.

Too little, too late.

And life escapes her.

[anghraine]

Some non-shipping poll results!

1- My first poll was "which fandom are you mostly following me for"?

After more than 250 votes, it was won by Austen fandom, at 33.5%, pulling ahead of Tolkien fandom (27.4%) and Star Wars fandom (21.4%). Everything else was waaaaay behind.

I'm not surprised, but kind of amused that after all these years, it's still Austen in the clear lead.

2- My second asked which was the best of some random factoids about Númenóreans in Tolkien's assorted writings.

The people decided the best was "Bears," a reference to Númenórean affection for dancing bears (24.8%), followed by "Isildur was trying to take the Ring to Elrond when he died" (16.4%).

I figured the bears would win, but was pleasantly surprised by the affection for Isildur.

3- For Valentine's Day, I asked which was the most romanceable GW2 female character from a list of Norn, humans, and sylvari, with an "Other" option.

The clear victor was Magister Sieran (at 25.5%), well ahead of Caithe (the next at 15.5%). Sylvari sweep!

4- I asked which version of "Fear Not This Night" is best (as there are manyyy variants).

The emphatic winner was the original version with Asja's vocals, at 52.4% (the runner-up was "Another version not included here at 23.8%).

I was genuinely surprised at this. Maybe a sampling bias, but I had the impression that people generally preferred the instrumental versions.

[fundgruber]

The depictions of life in ruins in 18th-century Rome by Hubert Robert reveal a view, an attitude, namely how the north of Europe revelled in the re-use of the ruins there.

Compare these images with the 1990s in Berlin, life in the ruined area around the Wall, the social and cultural utilisation of space, the cut bridge between East and West on Behmstraße. The tree house by the Wall.

We can still/again find the delightful view of ruins in the 20th century in Walter Benjamin and Asja Lacis on Naples:

"Building and action- interpenetrate in the courtyards, arcades, and staircases. In everything they preserve the scope to become a of new, unforeseen constellations.The definitive is avoided."

Perhaps the juxtaposition of the ruin fantasies of the different centuries can help to bring a little sobriety to the Berlin myths.

The artist Anna Herms has recently brought the ruins picture up to date, now the building sites are becoming ruins (Installation view of her work in the exhibition Transgressive).

And for his film "Stadtmuseum / Moi Rai" (Berlinale 2024), Boris Dewjatkin mixed the common sense of the graffiti scene with the fantasy of a takeover of the construction site ruins:

"Based on his experiences in the urban space of Berlin, the narrator describes a subjective paradise in which human-made systems of order are repeatedly disrupted by the chaos factor."

In all these images and myths, the circular logic of the capitalist economy is missing, in which chaos and innovation, appropriation and valorisation are always integrated into a (meta-stable?) process. If we want to write (a) history, then it is not enough to become more microscopic, or more Dadaistic, or more playful.

"Thus the awakening of the dead in those revolutions served the purpose of glorifying the new struggles, not of parodying the old; of magnifying the given task in the imagination, not recoiling from its solution in reality; of finding once more the spirit of revolution, not making its ghost walk again." Marx, 18th Brumaire

[anotherwaytosay]

Mark your calendars for our AWTS fall edition this September 22nd, at 8PM at (of course) Molasses Books featuring: Alex Braslavsky, who will be reading her translation of Zuzanna Ginczanka's poetry collection On Centaurs & Other Poems (World Poetry Books), "Here I preach passion and wisdom / tightly conjoined at the waist / like a centaur"; Jennifer Zoble with Sweetlust by Asja Bakić (Feminist Press), a heady fusion of feminist critique and science fiction, "Occasionally disturbing and always intoxicating," (that's BUST), as well as Kosovo-born Finnish author Pajtim Statovci (with many thanks to Todd Portnowitz and Rose Cronin-Jackman at Knopf/PRH) who will be reading from Bolla, translated by David Hackston, an incredible novel set during and in the aftermath of the Bosnian War...there is ill-fated love at first- and last-sight, the two men swept up in each other, their linguistic-escape:  "...and when I see that his books are in English we switch languages. Though improbable, random even, it feels natural, because by speaking English we can be different people, we are no longer ourselves, we are free of this place, pages torn from a novel." 

***

PAJTIM STATOVCI was born in Kosovo to Albanian parents in 1990. His family fled the Yugoslav wars and moved to Finland when he was two years old. He holds an MA in comparative literature and is a PhD candidate at the University of Helsinki. His first book, My Cat Yugoslavia, won the Helsingin Sanomat Literature Prize for best debut novel; his second novel, Crossing, was a finalist for the National Book Award; and Bolla was awarded Finland’s highest literary honor, The Finlandia Prize. In 2018, he received the Helsinki Writer of the Year Award.

JENNIFER ZOBLE translates Balkan literature into English. Recent books include Sweetlust by Asja Bakić (Feminist Press, 2023) and Call Me Esteban by Lejla Kalamujić (Sandorf Passage, 2021). Her translation of Mars by Asja Bakić (Feminist Press, 2019) was named one of the Best Fiction Books of 2019 by Publishers Weekly. Zoble is on the faculty of Liberal Studies at NYU, where she teaches writing and translation, and coordinates the university's new undergraduate minor in translation studies.

ALEX BRASLAVSKY is a poet, scholar, and translator working towards her doctorate at Harvard and working on Polish, Czech, and Russian poetry. She is the translator of On Centaurs & Other Poems (World Poetry Books, 2023) by Zuzanna Ginczanka. Her poems appear in The Columbia Review, Conjunctions, Colorado Review, and more.

[thetravellingartbook]

Relations & Reflections, three pieces made in the past coming together in the present by A. v. Wee (@asja-the-hoarder )

Close-ups and text under cut.

It is a rope, which binds you until you cannot look back any longer.

It’s as a spider, who catches you in their web, you are the spider and the web is your thoughts, The Web floats above you, attached to the ceiling, above you as a cloud, the cloud that capsized the boat of logic in the raging oceans of misdeeds, in a storm filled with lightning and thunder.

Thunder that comes from the hammer of Hephaestus when he strikes his anvil, building his trap for his lover. A trap that will not only catch her, but also everything she has done. The catch will be in every Olympian newspaper, accompanied by a picture of shame. One that you frame in your hallway as a reminder, one that you will never look back to with pride.

In the triumph of your victory the means will have been lost, except for the clouds. The ones that float above you and your victims alike, a cloud that will stay until it’s too late and one has been hit by lightning.

If only you had brought an umbrella.

They (You) say

'Forgive and forget'

But will I ever forget? (What's there to forget?)

The memory lingers

In the names and places,

In my brain. (Someone's brain)

Although I (you?) might not taste it

Anymore, it's still on

The tip of my (Your!) tongue

Every time one (I) pronounces

Mine (Their) sentence.

Apologies were made,

Amends were made,

Forgiveness was forged,

Yet forgetfulness has to be

Feigned.

Don't mention, just

Joke about it, don't

Speech or hate, just

Ignore the feelings, don't

Blame the train, just

Blame him, no, don't

Accept it, when

You won't, forget

It.

Approximately an amount of time has passed. Too long, too early, everything is too bright. Yesterday was a mere day, tomorrow will be even less. Nothing can help you feel relaxed. Acceptance of the absences of the presence of flight is hard, the absence of fear fills your heart. The only organ which could fulfill the flight of happiness, yet only moves in panic and anxious thoughts.

Secretly you want to run away however you absolutely cannot. Think about the teachings of the social world and get a blackout on the test, playing a part in your theater where you cannot see the audience but instead you feel like you are being examined in a laboratory, all eyes on you. The pressure of looking them in the eyes as they deal the final blow, the pressure of seeing life escape their eyes as you look away and realize that they aren’t watching.

Define the situation you are in.

Is it real?

Is it a scheme?

Too bad.

The unkind are kinder than the ones watching you, you may need medical attention, however no doctor may save you until you start saving yourself.

That’s a lie.

Nothing is worth anything anymore, too late, too long, too fast, too early

[pentacass]

The OC ask for Milah: 6,7,8 and 9

<3

ah...the og oc 🥰 salutations to you, my sweet goodest sir!!

(art by the one and only @hana-blogs of course uwu)

6. in what ways are they most like you?

errr Milah is probably the OC that’s least like me 😅 so she’s most like me in that we are...both hella gay for Ana Amari yas

7. in what ways are they least like you?

She’s a survivor and so damn strong. If I were left behind to die by my squad and suffered through such shit in wartime, uhh not to be dramatic but I would’ve lied down and waited for the earth to take me 

AND she can cook well. And she can ride a motorcycle. And she’s a fierce authority figure. This is gonna take 10 years so let’s stop here lmao

8. what line of dialogue best displays their sense of humour?

"Both have much historical significance," Kamilah deadpanned, cracking Ana's smile into a grin. "I mean you're old."

"Sure. And your complexion can rival that of Cleopatra's."

"Thank you."

"The dried up husk of Cleopatra's remains."

"Thank you," Kamilah repeated drily. "Speaking of remains, shouldn't you be dead?"

(dry humour that goes straight for the jugular)

9. what line best shows who they are? - 2 paras cos i say so :3c

“Kamilah didn't disagree – after all, she considered Hana a part of her family. Much like she did with Angela, and all the other agents who would trudge into medbay and bear her chiding with a sheepish smile.

Somehow, despite her old grudge against Overwatch, she'd accepted them all as family. The irony was not lost on her.” 

Milah might be a grumpy ass and terrorise those around her, but her heart is actually pretty soft. She does care, it’s just hidden behind her particular touch of tough love and a disillusioned, cynical outlook on life.

[incorrect-coi-quotes]

Asja : pst hey just a reminder that you gotta post hazels abc today

Day: AH FUCKERY

Nez: everytime y’all have to remind day it sends tf out of me

Day: EVERYTIME. I FORGET EVERYTIME

[cabinofimagines]

Clarisse’s ABCs

Hopefully, some day, every character of the Riordanverse will have been requested and blessed by the ABCs

Pairing: Clarisse La Rue x reader Request: Hi! Can I request Clarisse's fluff abcs?? Thank you! Warnings: None Word count: ~1.9k

- Asnyox

Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Clarisse loves being active- she adores being active with you, practicing with you, just moving around. You better not be too lazy, because her love language is quality time and quality time equals being active. 

Beauty - What do they admire in their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Your strength, whether it is inner strength or outer strength. For Clarisse, you need to earn her respect before she even looks at you. This can be earned by showing your strength in the arena, or showing her you are strong enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable around her. 

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Clarisse is surprisingly (or actually, not so surprisingly) good with emotional issues. She has learnt how to deal with her own issues a long time ago, and will easily teach you the tricks she has. She is great at bringing comfort to you, when you are down.

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Most of her plans are rather short term, because she never had the chance to plan things on the long term. Tomorrow was hardly guaranteed to come, so what is the use of planning for next year? Right now, she is thinking of going to college and she would love to take you with her, so you can study and grow together. After that? That is up to the fates.

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Clarisse is very dominant, it is in her blood. She will seek you out wherever you are and loves taking charge. She does appreciate it if you speak up to her though, tell her what you want, so she can change the things you do to be to your liking too/ 

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Fights with Clarisse are brutal. She really tries to take deep breaths and count to ten, but if you really pissed her off (probably by endangering yourself) she has a hard time controlling her anger. Give her a moment in the arena, where she can blow of steam, before breaching the topic again. She will want to reach mutual understanding, but she won’t use the word “forgiven”. 

Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

You are kind off a second heart to her, she is aware of you but she does not always actively see what you do for her. She can’t imagine being without you and your help, but she simply doesn’t know how to be grateful towards you. Only when you disappear for a little while, does she notice how much you did for her and she is sure to repay you in some way. She really is an acts of service kinda gal. 

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Clarisse does not believe in secrets. It might take time for her to open up about her childhood, fears and worries, but she wants to. There is no good in a relationship where you cannot trust each other.

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

To be able to be Clarisses significant other, you have to have gained her respect. However, this does not mean that she easily accepts your help. She does love helping you push your boundaries though, help you get over your fears and every time you do, she gets a little braver herself. 

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

She does not get jealous easy, however she is scared that you might leave her behind (like her dad, who doesn’t care about her). If she is having a bad time, she will isolate herself from you. She doesn’t need more harm than she will already get when you leave. However, you find her at your spot, a safe haven for the two of you, and as you hold her tight she shares her worries. 

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Her kisses are rather clumsy, because she often is very excited to kiss you. The first kiss was aggressive though, you were talking about an upcoming fight or quest (who remembers?) and said something among the lines of sacrificing yourself. Clarisse got angry, and at one point to shut you up she just kissed you. “If you want more of that, you better came back alive, you hear!” she yelled before she ran away, trying to still her beating heart. 

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

She takes you apart, finds a silent spot and confronts you. In  her mind this is a battle field, she needs to win this battle but for you she is also willing to lose. Her adrenaline made her half scream out her confession, but when you accept she almost breaks down. She won one of the hardest battles out there, and as she hugs you she cries a little. 

Memory - What’s their favourite memory together?

Clarisse has too many good memories about you to pick a favourite, although she always thinks back to the times where you assure her of your relationship. Whether it is you addressing her as your girlfriend, or the handholding during the campfire, she lives for these reassurances coming from you. 

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

Affectionate insults, or you name. Not your last name, your first name (until you have her last name, after which she loves saying it because it is you and you are hers)

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It might be obvious to those who know Clarisse, but she does not understand that she is in love with you until someone else points it out. It shows in how her insults do not have their edge when she talks to you, or how she tends to seek you out in battle, not to fight you but to make sure you don’t get hurt. 

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

I hope you have no shame left, because you will be the number one bragging subject for Clarisse. She will use your perfectness as a tool to insult others. If it gets too much and you tell her, she will reluctantly tone it down (when you are around, at least.)

Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Her sheer strength can break mountains, but also means that she would gladly do all your heavy lifting. If you are too tired to walk, she will help you. If you need protection from monsters, she is behind you. 

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Romance is not her strong suit, but if you mention wanting to do something romantic she will awkwardly recreate something out of the movies for you. It might be a bit messy, but I can guarantee you that she swallowed her pride and asked for help of the Aphrodite cabin, which results in the scene still being very pretty. 

Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Determination is one of her strong suits, she will in fact hold enough stubbornness for the two of you. If you seem freaked out about something you want to do, she will help you break it down into chunks that she herself understands and can help with. Seeing you smiling at your victory over your goals is one of the bests sights to her. 

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Don’t call it “spicing up your relationship” because she will argue against it, saying (affectionately) that “When you started dating me, you should have known this would happen, idiot.” Clarisse finds a sense of home in the hectic life. Maybe it is in her roots, her dad being to god of war and war being messy. 

Understanding - How well do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

At first Clarisse might seem to be the type to not be empathetic, however it depends on how much she respects you. When she fell for you, a whole new person was there to help you through all your problems. She knows how to read you like a book, and often finds some alone time for the two of you if she thinks you need it. Somewhere where you both can be vulnerable. 

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

As a year round camper, Clarisse has a deep attachment to anything that is camp related, including you. However, she might take you for granted a little, because she never thinks about what extremes she might need to go through to be with you. This relationship for her just has to be there and she refuses to think of giving it up, for it is just that integral to her life. 

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Unbeknownst to most, Clarisse is very aware of how someone’s mental state can affect their everyday live. She has had to deal with anger issues and abandonment issues herself, and is still working through them. So, she often urges you to take a mental break, to entrust her with your worries. She might not be a therapist, but she wants to be there for you. 

XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

She is aggressively affectionate. I’m talking affectionate bumps in your arm, holding you too tight for your comfort, kissing you mid-battle as to throw you off your game. 

Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

People won’t notice as much that she is missing you, because she always seems threatening to the people around her. Clarisse will be more snappy. However, those who know her better do see the sadness she has on her face whenever she thinks people aren’t looking. 

Zeal - are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Clarisse is stubborn, she will not give up on your relationship together under any external circumstance. Even if it gets dangerous, she will try. However, she is not stupid and will back off if whatever is threatening you is certain death. 

[goldentangerines]

💬?

Seeing her like this should be a sin, Olande thinks, almost delirious with want. It itches under her skin, rattles around in her chest, burns hot in her cheeks, everywhere. She wants to touch, wants to feel, but at the same time, it's a sacrilege.

Asja next to her vanity. Asja with a blue robe haphazardly thrown over her shoulders, slipping, looking down at something Olande can't see. Asja in nothing but a pair of long, beautiful pearl earrings that touch where her pulse might be — the place Olande longs for.

Asja's fingers buried in the robe, and then, impossibly, in Olande's hair, her sheets, everywhere she can reach, restless and frantic and dangerously capable, before she blinks and Asja stands by the vanity still.

She turns around, the birthmarks on her collarbones on full display, the pearls at her neck catching light.

Asja's eyes are almost white in the distance, the grey smoke dissolving into clean air within her stare, and she looks at Olande with a faint smile. It seems almost cruel, almost cutting, and then her teeth shine through and she grins and her radiance almost makes Olande weep for what she could have had. What maybe could have been hers, and how it was taken from her a long time ago.

"Queen Lyeann and her Healer Caleides" comes to mind, uninvited and unwelcome, the verses of the play like second nature to anyone in the vicinity of Cithane's luxury:

Enclosed Sun, heat the sea-like peaches of June, / and summer's composed quartile, devotion's kiss a fleeting tune, so quickly — died of broken hearts. / Doe-eyed heart and blood and teeth. / Ruin this sinner, Sun, in love.

And Olande, from her place on Asja's bed, longs for bared teeth and blood and an open wound to keep her heart in, forever. She longs for sin.

thanks for the ask!! i wrote this last august, the first scene from Olande's pov. near the end of book 1 or maybe at the beginning of book 2 when all seems lost, and i can't decide whether this should be a flashback or not. anyway. i'm very proud of it <3

[angelicyoongie]

tag list: abundance (xviii) / CLOSED

the new chapter of abundance can be found here! this will be the last tag list for abundance, as it hardly ever works to notify you all :( if you want to be alerted when a new chapter is posted, please subscribe to my ao3 instead!

@minmeowmeowcuddles @horanghae18​ @artist4theworld​ @honeybeeguk @lidda​ @itsoktheresbts​ @agustdjoon​ @swoozleee​ @brittaney341​ @myhearrrrrt​ @inhalebts @georgie-me-myself-i​ @shameless-army​ @hobis-sprite​ @mango-789 @anxietylovesme @softescapism​ @ess-place @reddidh​ @smolstackofpancakes4​ @asja-the-hoarder​ @furblrwurblr​ @httpmedxsa @rainbowmagicpixecorn​ @cypherhellblade​ @iloveeverything-09​ @lady-tokugawa-of-mikawa​ @midnight1199​ @illicitmuse​ @imynnow​ @daydreambrliever​ @anothershorthuman​ @maybeprobablyforever @novusluna​ @soverystupid​ @novastarpie​ @sehunnies-hunnie96​ @misohime​ @bunnyssmile​ @hopefullydreamy @hecticwonderer @anonybunny028

@pfannkuchen07 @serious-addiction @crazyxforxmyself @ator1213 @softieyn @trinityautumn @narcissism-iskey @annoyingpessimist @shit-loads-of-angst @fearhoshi @rycpuello @murderyoursoul @diamonddia-mond @littlewolfieposts @deathkat657 @johnnyyy-suh @wrecklesseuphoria @rachiecake @zxlla @paradise-writings @princecalpal @rosiethefairy @disn3yfreak @imluckybitches @mo-ch-i @forever-once-gone @lovelikeyouwant @soft-domie @justzeera @adventures-in-bookland @keijaycreates @farbiger @stardust-sunshine @sweeneyblue1 @xsmilebitesx @hxsxxk-180294 @lovinggalaxies @lilacdreams-00 @etherealskzss @1am9root6 @kissing-fear @aspannas @sp3ak-yours3lf @ign-is @toripeix @i-like-puppy-mg @alphajevie @minyoongijangjang @moonlight-mochi @queenofot7bts @lavenderchrysantheums @dabmeifyoucan @ladyartemesia @nerdyishlioness @just-a-little-teapot13 @imachaoticmess @jiminot7 @cjphoenix135 @lifeisnot-daijoubu @brielle-in-the-galaxy @eltrain80 @ratking101 @ayoo-bangtan @kerikaaria @thefangirlsoul @staerryminimini @kingalls00 @faithsummers11 @sadgurllayha @angeltothecore @jungkookssistan @veryuniquenamegoeshere @moon-2seok @lorielulu7 @vivelareina @btstxtgenre @yoonie-bby @bangtansleftnut @missmxqn @dinorahrodriguez @moonlightjoonx

[otherpplnation]

752. Lejla Kalamujic

Lejla Kalamujic is the author of the novel-in-stories Call Me Esteban, available from Sandorf Passage. Translated by Jennifer Zoble.

Kalamujic is an award-winning queer writer from Bosnia and Herzegovina. Call Me Esteban received the Edo Budisa literary award in 2016 and it was the Bosnian-Herzegovinian nominee for the European Union Prize for Literature in the same year. 

Jennifer Zoble translates Bosnian/Croatian/Serbian- and Spanish-language literature. Her translation of Mars by Asja Bakic (Feminist Press, 2019) was selected by Publishers Weekly for the fiction list in its "Best Books 2019" issue. She contributed to the Belgrade Noir anthology (Akashic Books, 2020), and her work has been published in McSweeney's, Lit Hub, Words Without Borders, Washington Square, The Iowa Review, and The Baffler, among others. She's a clinical associate professor in the interdisciplinary Liberal Studies program at NYU.

***

Otherppl with Brad Listi is a weekly literary podcast featuring in-depth interviews with today's leading writers.

Launched in 2011. Books. Literature. Writing. Publishing. Authors. Screenwriters. Etc.

Available where podcasts are available: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, etc.

Subscribe to Brad Listi’s email newsletter.

Support the show on Patreon

Merch

@otherppl

Instagram 

YouTube

Email the show: letters [at] otherppl [dot] com

The podcast is a proud affiliate partner of Bookshop, working to support local, independent bookstores.

www.otherppl.com

[kaebedom-me]

Ahhhh!! I’m glad you’re back! Just remember not to push yourself too hard with writing 🥺

thank you!!! i'm trying to take it slow while i finish up the comms before anything else uwu

i don't believe I've interacted with you before? asja but aaaa welcome to the blog!! please enjoy your stay!!! and feel free to talk and request to me whenever!

[thetravellingartbook]

5/5/2021-11/10/2021, Amsterdam by Mary Hannah @marymear Instagram (x)

Transcript under the cut 

“I’ve been having some,,, difficulties with being creative lately. 

Terribly sorry about that. I’ve had this notebook for 6 months now, and its empty pages were better off forgotten. 

They weren’t though, forgotten. Really, they’ve been haunting me, following e everywhere I go. I haven’t written an essay in 6 months, even though uni requires it. Haven’t written a letter in 2 months, though I think of you often. These days I just sit, emerged in a sea of worry. Head empty, yet filled with fog. Being dragged through the days by the constant stream of information and funny cat-vids. 

I can’t wait to get out again. 

Let time pool around me like a lake. Just silence and birdsong. Light breeze, heavy sunlight. I won’t go to bed empty & never wear shoes again. Let my mind fill with stories to tell you, let my fingers grow calloused. Let us all sit at the lakeside and watch the stars. 

I’d look at you and say “remember?” and you’d answer “No. I’ve already forgotten.” And none of it would haunt us.” 

Right page: 

“ ‘BITCH’ 

NO RECEPTION IN THE LAKE” 

[trulymadlysydney]

Today I'm stuck in the concept of dad H I don't know why. Normally everyone starts to suspect a pregnancy when their period is a few days late, but those of us with pcos can literally go MONTHS without having a period. I mean, a couple of days wouldn't be a red alert in the slightest, plus getting pregnant is harder (but not impossible). So that got me thinking; What if H knows the situation and that's why you don't lose your temper when your period is late, as it is normal and the reason is never pregnancy. And, of course, because you're on contraceptive treatment; so practically you two never go crazy with the idea of ​​pregnancy because you know perfectly well that for that you need to go through a whole process and prepare your body to have a baby. BUT, what if one day you start showing symptoms (nausea, headaches, low or high appetite, etc.)

(pt 1)

but decide not to say anything to H and continue as normal because you think it's due to work stress and it'll eventually go away. However, although the symptoms disappeared, he begins to notice changes in your mood, in your routine, in the small insignificant things that you think he doesn't notice (but he does) and it's then that he begins to take note, he begins to analyze you, observe you in secret and investigate to have the correct information (either from the internet or from his friends who are already parents). And then he comes to the conclusion that you may be pregnant. And of course, he cannot be guided by a late period (like most couples) because he knows perfectly well that it's normal for you to be irregular. So he's looking for a way to get you to notice the signs, but he knows he can't be completely straightforward because you've made it clear that you don't want to have babies (at least not yet).

(pt 2)

So he occasionally starts talking about the elephant in the room to see your reaction, to which you always reply: "Did you watch videos about babies on instagram? Or will one of your friends have another baby?" He takes a moment to think about what to say because he doesn't want to raise suspicions "Yes, some videos appeared on my tl and that made me think" and you try not to smile at the thought that it's one of his secret hobbies "Baby videos made you think of babies? Shocking" He wants to laugh at your sarcasm, but he knows he must focus on his plan "What do you think of them?" and that's when you put all your attention on him and look at him seriously "They are adorable, but my position remains the same" Hearing you say that discourages him a bit, he knows that you two are still young (you being younger than him for a few years) and thinking about having a baby isn't something feasible at the time, but he still likes to imagine that in the future it would be a viable option and both would start to consider it.

(pt 3)

"So you don't think having a baby with me would be adorable?" You smile softly "I think having a kitten would be even more adorable" And he thinks 'Jesus woman, I'm losing my mind here and you're talking about kittens'. Still continue with his plan for more days until you have enough: "Harry, why are you suddenly talking about babies and all that stuff?" To which he just shrugs, dismissing it and saying it was just to kill time. But he knows that his plan has worked, because it made you start to question the possibility. So one day you secretly take a pregnancy test and it comes out negative; which makes you feel relieved, but your gut tells you to get more tests. They all come out negative and that's when you make an appointment with your doctor; mainly for your contraceptive checkup and to regulate your period. And when you explain the situation, your doctor does a blood test. But he assured you that it was highly unlikely, since having the implant had only a 1% chance of getting pregnant.

(pt 4)

Then you calm down and stop thinking about it. Meanwhile, H finds the pregnancy tests negative and that's when he decides to confront you. He waits for you to get home and when you walk in the door you see him standing in the living room and you know right away what he is about. He tries to be as calm as possible, he doesn't want to bother you and he didn't want to argue, he just wants to let you know that something like this is also his business and you shouldn't feel the need to hide it. Because he only wants to be for you, as you are for him. "Why didn't you tell me about the tests?" You keep quiet because you know you should have told him "I didn't want to worry you, I didn't want it to become a big deal" He looks at you confused and a little bit offended "Do you think this isn't a big deal?" You know you should have chosen other words.

(pt 5)

Then you try to calm him down because you already had the results of the blood tests (although you hadn't opened them) and that way you could show him that there was nothing to worry about. "We shouldn't think about that because it's obvious that I'm not-" and that's when you read the results and realize that you ARE. And when he sees that you went blank, he takes the results from you and reads them for himself. "Oh my..." You both struggle to try to process all the information and you panic because you never expected to have a baby at that moment, you start to feel dizzy and then you pass out. Which makes H also panic and scared to death seeing his love completely affected by the news. Then he takes you in his arms and lays you down on an armchair and after a few minutes you wake up and he doesn't leave your side at any time, less when you start crying because everything was so overwhelming and you didn't know what to do.

(pt 6)

He comforts you all night long, hugs you, whispers sweet words to you until you calm down a bit and you two agree to go to the doctor in the morning. And while you sleep, he cannot help but see your little tummy and the baby that's growing inside 🥺. However, he would completely respect any decision you make because it's your body. The most important thing for him is to know that you are well and happy. So when you are with the doctor you find out that the change in routine of your implant was made with a slight delay of a few days and it was at that moment that the 💖little baby Styles💖 was conceived since in that short interval there is a greater risk of becoming pregnant. None of you could believe that all of this could happen in the blink of an eye, as you had always been very careful. So to check that everything was in order, the doctor gives you an ultrasound and it is HOW YOU FIND OUT THAT YOU HAVE BEEN PREGNANT MONTHS AGO.

(Final part)

sorry this was a very long concept, I can't help it, I started writing and couldn't stop 🥺🤧

----

ANON ARE YOU KIDDING ME IM LITERALLY GOING TO START CRYING RIGHT NOW ;DLAKJFADL;ASJA OH MY GOD