#at least the nigga is hilarious

[tariah23]

He apparently has 2 kids with 2 different women and doesn't take care of either of them

Women, I will protect you-

[aizenat]

Watching this conversation/podcast of black millennials (and at least one black gen xer lol) talk about the drake v Kendrick beef (hilariously filmed before the release of family matter and subsequent songs) and something someone pointed out that, again, this shows how whites just don’t understand Black ppl, which is how Euphoria when it came out had a similar effect as Ether when that came out.

And the reason the guy is saying that is because he’s saying Nas said in Ether what the streets were already saying about Jay. So yes, it wasn’t anything “new,” it wasn’t tea or gossip or anything, but rather a collection of all the shit and problems ppl had with Jay thrown into a diss. And like all the annoying whites in the tags being like “didn’t we already know Drake was a dick” are missing the point!

Yes we do know he’s a piece of shit! I’ve been a day one hater: even before best I ever had, when I saw jimmy from degrassi not in a wheelchair but hanging around Wayne and them, and I was like “no way this nigga trynna be a rapper for real. Jimmy it was a plot point in the show to write you out, not something for you to do irl.” I’ve NEVER taken that fool seriously. And so as I saw how he moved, every misstep, every predatory and misogynistic statement, how he treats black culture and shit is literally issues I had with him since day motherfucking one.

And people still made that nigga famous!

Some ppl have a weird effect for reasons I don’t feel like going into where it doesn’t matter how shitty they are, they still have mass fans. Trump, Chris Brown, Tory Lanez, etc. So calling them out when they fuck up doesn’t do anything. Especially for these rap niggas.

And so when someone like Kendrick comes around and drops a diss track saying literally everything I’ve been feeling about Drake for 15 years, yes imma get hype on it. Yes, I’m going to gas it up and say true. It’s not getting the evidence together to present to a jury like whites think a diss track is: a diss track is the fucking indictment. It’s the jury saying “that nigga guilty” and the aftermath of the release isn’t to discuss if Drake is guilty but to say “now that we’ve determined he’s guilty, what should the punishment be?”

If you don’t understand that about hip hop/rap culture and diss tracks, then literally stfu about this situation. You literally have nothing of worth to add to the conversation and you obviously don’t hang around enough Black ppl in the fucking culture to speak on it. Period.

[mywifeleftme]

195: Run the Jewels // Run the Jewels

Run the Jewels Run the Jewels 2013, Fool's Gold

Even as someone who was very hyped for this monster mash album to drop back in 2013, I could’ve used El-P and Killer Mike’s chances at becoming mainstream music stars as a creative simile for extreme remoteness. Run the Jewels started life as a Watch the Throne joke—e.g. while you pay obeisance to the supposed kings, we’re behind them jacking their shit. The name seemed right: any time you put Mike on a pop-adjacent track, he sounded too brash, too angry to fit the scheme, whereas El-P probably scanned to most listeners as like, Comic-Con Bubba Sparxxx or something. It remains bizarre to contemplate that El-P’s original crew, Company Flow, released their groundbreaking Funcrusher EP a year before Jay-Z’s Reasonable Doubt, and Mike had been OutKast’s war dog since the turn of the century. In other words, these were two rapper’s rappers who made a living on rhymes but didn’t seem likely to have say great prospects of retiring comfortably.

It just goes to show what a creative release strategy (Run the Jewels dropped for free at a time when that concept still had some novelty) and an absolute banger record can do for ya. After years of ambitious, CD-stuffing projects by both men, Run the Jewels is a trim 33-minute object lesson in the power of elite shit-talking. Ten years on their particular chemistry is fixed enough to be fondly roasted, but at the time I’d never heard either man rap as freely, or hilariously, as they did here. Some particularly treasured bars:

Woo, they done let that fuckin' Mike out It's like Tyson in the '80s Nigga snap and punch your lights out, yeah It's like Tyson in the '90s, if I'm losing, take a bite out I'm so motherfuckin' grimy, so motherfuckin' greedy, gritty Mama said she couldn't breastfeed 'cause I was bitin' at the titty — Mike

Yo, Killer Mike and El-P, fuck boys, think about it Fuck you gonna sell me? You don't know a thing about us Women dosed with ayahuasca drum circle and sing about us Dolphins prone to rape'll hear the tape and stop to think about it Monks will immolate themselves until the record hits the shelves Yetis walk right out the woods to cop it without thinkin' bout it Workers at the sweatshop kill they boss to how the vets drop Worker ants surround their queen and chew the bitch's head off Drug dogs bark at the tour bus when it park Priests take the cock out of their mouths To hum along when the chorus drop — El-P

It's time for Skywalker talkers t’meet the true Darth Vader I hit your mom in '03, but a G ain't ate her So baby boy, you should tighten up and show some respect Before I Melvin on you, Jody, put my arm on your neck Or worse yet, be the reason your girl want a divorce Be at her crib with your kids saying ‘Fuck your fort, lil' nigga!’ — Mike

Born to the next-gen system Slow water drip to the temple to live in a prison When the walls don't appear to your vision One floor down from that mall's that prison Where shower stalls'll get all y'all missin' Pardon me, I got half-wit vision But fuck I know? I just crawled here, cap'n — El-P

I'm fat but I dress nice, and bitches finesse Mike They suck the dick and squeeze on my belly like bagpipes — Mike

I'ma smoke 'til the planet erases Build a white flag out of Zig Zags, wave it — El-P

And so on. Alongside El-P’s signature production, limber and consistently knocking, it is the sheer “What will they say next?” pleasure of two elite battle rappers trading the mic back and forth (something that doesn’t happen on Watch the Throne as often as you might remember) that scratched the deep itch of boom-bap-bro nation. Over three more excellent LPs to date, they’ve expanded their sound and skewed ever more topical, but RTJ have never abandoned the template that made them unlikely stars. And for my money at least, it’s this first one that best stands the test of time.

195/365

[calypso-finale]

Forty Two.

“Imani commented and said what about me, like she hasn’t got school, I refuse to hear mother about it too. I’ll comment back and say don’t worry during school holiday we will go” laughing to myself, I barely posted the picture of Ti and I and Imani jumped in the comment with a quickness, that is hilarious to me. Ti and I decided to go to Mexico for a few days, I’m child free of course, I left Aziel in the UK with his father. I didn’t want to leave him but then again I don’t want to be chasing him, it was hard to leave my son behind. He didn’t understand really, he waved me goodbye not knowing I ain’t picking him up “I posted that we got her next time” locking my phone “I knew she would hate us, I knew she would be saying something. I feel like mom is trying to keep Imani away from us, she said something like I made mistakes with us two, but Imani won’t go through that. I felt like saying Imani is crying on the phone to get to us, we aren’t the bad ones here, I mean ok. I fucked up, you fucked up. It happens, I think mom is being dense” rolling my eyes, I am glad Ti has said that and not me because she has been always acting dense towards me “you know she said that I gave Rylee her money, but with me she wants to wait more time or whatever. She said she gave yours because you’re a mother now, you have your own thing” I huffed out “I feel like my mom is acting like Rihanna, she isn’t being a mother. I should have said no to her when she told me to do that with Brian” Ti pulled a face “I’m in shock that she actually told you to do that, like what is wrong with her” I shrugged “she hates me, this is why I ignore the group chat, fuck that. I am ok about it though, I am not running to mom and dad anymore” Ti laughed picking her cocktail up “dad doesn’t do anything, he doesn’t know a thing. Let’s go and get another drink” nodding my head as I pushed myself away from the side, swimming across to the bar in the pool “back?” The guy at the bar said “we don’t want to remember tomorrow” I said laughing sitting on the bar stool, this water bar is cute, I like it “I can make it happen” I pointed laughing, I won’t be getting drunk “I’ll pass on that offer” I refuse, I rather just know what I’m doing with myself.

Looking over at my sister’ phone as she took the picture “this is like kind of the first time I’ve revealed myself in this manner you know, publicly anyways, just after Aziel I didn’t exactly want to show myself” Ti turned her phone to me “thank you, I look good” Ti pulled a face “hold on, you saying you can’t show your body off but yet you out here fucking these men” waving her off “in the dark yeah” Ti is side eyeing me “Brian was in the dark though” picking my glass up “how did that happen? I’m still confused because like I get mom set it up but why and how did you sleep with him?” Sipping my drink “it happened, I was drunk. But not drunk enough to not know what was happening, I fully knew it did but it was boring, I regretted straight off Ti, with Oakley it happened and lights were on. Like he saw it all, because I have that scar there, he saw it and he didn’t care like that. But I’m telling you now, these skinny niggas have the most lethal dick” Ti yelped out “you’re so right, they do. Like why though? You skinny as shit, fully expect their dick to be skinny too. I don’t know why but these men have big ones, I’m done with skinny guys, ugh. You know those gym freaks have trash dick too” I chuckled “how many gym freaks have you had Ti?” This bitch talking about gyn freaks, how many has she had “a few, but I’m a changed person now” raising an eyebrow “least you ain’t get pregnant” I kissed my teeth “you was caught lacking Rylee, but he’s here now so whatever but one thing I always check is that dick is covered” I huffed out, I was caught lacking “so how is celibacy going?” I chuckled “fucking boring!” She spat; I snorted laughing.

Holding my phone in hand waiting on Oakley to bring Aziel to the phone “mommy” hearing Aziel say “yeah, come. She’s there, look then” Oakley shouted him over, I guess this is Oakley new crib, it looks nice actually. Looks big, I chuckled seeing Aziel with his chain on and hair out “mommy!” I cooed out “hey baby, I miss you already and it’s only been one night, I miss my baby so much” he looks so confused, he’s confused on why I’m not close, he looked at Oakley “what’s up? You not going to talk?” He said, he is ever so quiet now and I feel bad “mommy” he just said, poking my bottom lip out “is this your new home?” I said, he didn’t react or say anything “not talking to me now?” Oakley leaned down “huh?” He said, “is this your new home?” He shook his head “my mom place, she did this room up” letting out an oh “but I do have a new place though, just bought him here. Don’t worry I’ll be taking him home” nodding my head “your mom did the home up after I left? New beginnings” Oakley laughed “you made that up now, you know that ain’t true, how is Mexico? Peeped the bikini picture” I grinned “peeped or stared?” I questioned “peeped big head, first I was like ass on my timeline then I peeped the mark on the hip” I gasped “no way!” We both laughed out “how you remember that? You fancy me too much” I shook my head “nah, nah. See you just being jarring, Aziel. Talk to your mom, I’m going to sit down” I sighed out “Aziel, why are you confused? What’s wrong? Tell mommy what you doing” he pointed behind him “daddy” nodding my head, he started speaking his nonsense words as he does “oh really, you slept in your big boy bed?” He shook his head “no big boy, why not baby?” I told Oakley he will want to sleep in the bed with him “I miss you son” smiling at him, he looks so confused, he doesn’t understand why I’m not there.

Blowing air kisses as Ti took a video “better be cute bitch” picking my drink up “it is whore, my sister looks beautiful” I need to stop drinking actually, this is my last cocktail “I was going to say, I heard your little conversation. Not with my nephew but with the baby father” placing my drink down “mhmm?” I said confused “just you both sound cute, like you was anyways. I just want to ask, are you both just going to co-parent or are you going to get back together?” Ti asking the hard questions now “I don’t know about that; I just think we need to reconnect in a way. I don’t know, I love him, and I can’t really be comfortable with others, I don’t know” I really can’t predict it “I think maybe I should let things just you know be as they are, I’m not chasing him, if he calls me, he does. Speak of the devil, weird” Oakley messaging me, it’s late in the UK, I know “messaged you?” She asked “he has” opening the message and it’s a selfie of him and Aziel “why is he even awake” tapping int he voice note that just came through “yo, yo, yo. Tell me why this child woke me up by climbing on me and then sitting on my face? He nearly stopped my breathing, anyways come home quickly. I think the kids, well not kids, I mean the one child. We need you back, well he needs you back. I need to sleep but this child is weird bro, moving mad for no reason too” he stifled out a yawn “right, bye” I can’t help but smile he sounds so cute “I want him back so badly” I admitted “I know you do but I want you to let him do it, listen to me Rylee. I think you should allow yourself to be open to it but let him do all the running, all the things. Just you relax, he misses you too” she is right, nodding my head slowly “I will” I breathed out.

I did say to myself that I wouldn’t drink much but I feel tipsy “you know what gets me, didn’t you ever have a scare, like a pregnancy scare? It can’t be just me that was dumb enough to get caught?” Ti is hiding it but I feel she might have “a scare, yes I did go through a scare but Rylee I acted on it, I made sure I had something always. I wasn’t going to be a mother at this age, I refuse to be that. I don’t think I ever want to be a young mother, I want to be in my thirties at least, I want to live, I want try, I want to have fun. I love my nephew but no” I snorted laughing “yeah well I took one for the team” I cringed “I feel like if, I mean if. IF you both make it, I feel like you’re going to be like mom, you’re going to have more kids, I see you with three. I think Oakley seems like a guy that would want more too, so I see it. You will be married too, even though he said he doesn’t do any of that, I feel like you are going to have that family, I think that clearly you found the one. You just got to hold it down, I think yeah, maybe if I found the right one I would but I am over that part. Also I feel like I don’t want to love” tilting my head to the side “what? Why?” that is weird “I don’t want to be hurt Rylee, when you give that away, you open yourself up to be hurt, I don’t want it, sorry” she has a point “true” I mumbled.

Eyeing up the waiter, he is cute “mhmm how is the Fenty empire?” I asked “water for me, please” I said to the waiter “good, you know how mother is but it’s hard work. When I think about it, now I am going through this, I am thinking how did mom do it. I get why she was tired; I get why she was away for so long too, she worked hard for it. For me to get in the zone I have to live and breathe Fenty, like being off work right now I am still getting emails, I am trying to not look but it’s hard. I feel like one small wrong move then I have made her business go bad, so I do try and talk to mom but then when I do she butts in and tells me I am doing this and this wrong, and that I need to fix this so I tend to not ask her a thing. But I have been busy really, Australia is another life wow. Like it’s better than America, I have met friends. Like the group chat we have, I told them that I am with my sister on holiday, and they all want to meet you, but they are good people. I have been drunk on my days off, out clubbing but guess what? Nobody knows, so yeah. Life is better, did I show you this” Ti showed me her lock screen “awww the first time you held Aziel, that makes me happy. I love that, I love that he adores his aunties and uncles, he adores dad, but mom doesn’t spend time with him since having the baby” I said “I think we both know what mom is like, she is upset with you so yeah. Also mom is annoying, what she did with you, like she didn’t need to get involved but she did” taking in a deep breath “yep” I swear I wish I never did that with Brian; I was so stupid.

[ballplayersxo]

Give a story time about Paris 🥹

okay so we went for 4 days and 3 nights and it was lots of fun! we went to the louvre which was one of my highlights, eiffel tour which is gorgeous in the evening, went to a club and met the nicest people who were also from toronto, and a lot more. when niggas in paris played in the club that was a hilarious but cool moment lmaooo.

the city itself is pretty but the rats are crazy and it’s scary at night, especially for women and tourists. the bm there have relaxed hair and to european bw who warn about european bm, i get it. the cafes were cute, we went to them each morning. one gave subtle racism tho when my friend and i (she was brown) had to pay before we were served while our non-woc “friend” didn’t. and their lifestyle is really relaxed in a way that you realize the difference when you leave. people like to people watch shamelessly too. the people are nice but i assumed they would be ruder cause that’s what everyone says.

bakeries/desserts/wine were all also elite. they respond well when you at least try to speak in french even if it’s minimal. i thought they hated this. anyways i would def go back but i couldn’t live there. buildings are also very pretty. they dress nice too

[badgalrocky]

(Heavily edited)

Oh Drake. If only you had just said “yall stop acting like I’m not over her, cause I’m over her.” and left it at that…I would believe you. I would respect it even.

But it was the I fucked “way badder bitches than you” comment for me.

It’s definitely giving BITTER.

The sex was average?

Mr if you had a twin I would still choose you?

Mr I been in love with her since childhood?

Oh she average now?

Aubrey got to lie to himself for survival!

ASAP was not waiting in the friend zone for YEARS for average my boy. And as soon as he got his moment, he shot the whole club up twice in a row to lock it down. You think he did that for average? Every man Rihanna been with still stuck on her. I mean let’s be honest. Mans professing his love since childhood for average? Don’t come out here sounding like Future, my boy.

It’s giving hurt.

It’s giving fuck boy tears.

It’s giving tryna fix your inner issues with a bad bitch!

The bum who wants your number and then calls you a bitch when you reject him.

Why men got to down play you when they get hurt? Like admit that you lost the one you really wanted and move on.

You calling her average? “it’s better him than me”? You just invalidated your claims of being over her.

She just had kids.

Like even your timing is suspect. You choose now to disrespect her when you could have done it back when she curved you on national television?Oh, it’s because now you know for sure that you can never get her back. At least not in the way you would have wanted her. She won’t be having your kids like you swore her whole family wanted her to. Bitter cause she took him home too.

This is just funny to me cause I been in the same situation. To the public he ain’t pressed but then in my face I’m wifey. So let me talk my shit 😝

Drake is hilarious and watch Rih not even respond or acknowledge that shit.

Mad cause he was just another nigga on the hit list and she wasn’t as hung up over him as he apparently is on her. Sounds like you the average one my boy. But all these light skin buss-it-downs done gassed you up for money.

I’m sure Rih peeped what his non-committal ass was about from jump. Mad he couldn’t finesse her. Mad she wasn’t as impressed by him. Just plain mad. But he can stay mad while Rih stay winning. (Side note: since I never cared for her dating Drake, I never knew she actually gave him a chance and then they broke up cause he cheated on her with some fans……some fans bitch! And you mad when you fucked the shit up with such disrespect on top. Wow.)

[nixines]

i find it hilarious how rap literally means rhythm and poetry and yet these are lyrics from rap songs:

(i added a cut because 1. length and 2. this post is really negative)

“I'm her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her. She, she, she, she, she, she, she. Take a pic', it's me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Tell your friends "this her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her.” (her, megan thee stallion)

“Bad bitch, I could be your fantasy. I can tell you got big dick energy. It ain't too many niggas that can handle me. But I might let you try it off the Hennessy.” (big energy, latto)

“Yeah, she like how I throw them racks, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep on throwin' that cash, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep on throwin' that ass, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Benz truck in the back, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah” (trollz, 6ix9ine)

“Yeah, coward-ass niggas ain't, yeah. Coward-ass niggas ain't, uh, yeah. Coward-ass niggas ain't made up like Baby.” (dont let em lie, dabitchass)

that’s not poetic. i can’t even sarcastically say that’s poetic. that’s just noise, laziness, and a not-so-subtle cash grab. and the best part? everyone i listed isn’t even that good at rap.

megan is fine, but if it wasn’t for her iconic “ah” then she would blend perfectly into the background.

latto reminds me too much of saweetie and vice versa. and if you want me to try and believe that their music isn’t made solely to get a few hundred k, then they should at least try to stand out just a fucking little bit.

saweetie has a little bit of an excuse considering the fact that i don’t think she takes her music seriously. like it isn’t a joke to her, but she’s not too concerned with it. i mean, she doesn’t seem too upset nor concerned that she only sold 2k copies of her new project in the first week. she’s more of an influencer as opposed to a rapper, and she’s fine with that.

latto, on the other hand, doesn’t have much excuse. her rapping isn’t that good as she sometimes struggles to stay on beat, like she’s “rapping” and there just so happens to be music in the background. and i don’t really see anything in her that stands out, something that makes her original. “her whole thing is she’s a bad bitch.” okay? that’s every female rapper’s gimmick. what makes latto… latto? what stops her from blending into the background? nothing.

6ix9ine is known for his controversy and i refuse to believe otherwise. he doesn’t “rap,” he just talks fast. he is on beat, but that’s not a compliment. every rapper should be on beat. as far as i’m aware, he hasn’t done much in 2022. he released a single, GINÉ, on April 15 and dipped. the song has about 14 million plays on spotify, and considering that it came out all the way back in April… isn’t so good.

and dababy? HAHA. DABABY?

fun fact: baby on baby 2 came out september 23, 2022, damn near 3 months ago, and not one song on the album has 10 million plays on spotify. socks has the most, with 6.1 million. which ain’t that good when you have damn near 30 million monthly listeners and are “#106 in the world,” according spotify. where your listeners at, bro? but when you compare that to 5sos5, by 5 seconds of summer, who has only 19 million monthly listeners on spotify and is “#247 in the world,” it’s almost embarrassing for dababy. complete mess has the most plays on the album, having almost 50 million. baby on baby 2 and 5sos5 were both released on September 23, 2022. and i’m almost positive that they were both released at 9:00pm est. i wouldn’t be surprised if they were released at the exact same second as each other, and yet… dababy has more monthly listeners on spotify than 5 seconds of summer. complete mess has exactly 42,357,945 more plays than socks, the most played song on baby on baby 2. the albums were released on the very same day, probably on the very same second. this. is. astounding.

fuck dababy. if he wasn’t a complete asshat then maybe i would feel something for him, but i’m just glad that the album flopped! i actually have some sort of hope in humanity now!!

[rimaiahwrites]

Simple—

Chapter 10

"Its ether give up the information you know or get blasted which one you want?" I spit at The scrawny white boy as I aimed at his head.

Ethan Rogers, a Ex-felon now a hacker for the CIA. Only 21, no girlfriend, He ran away from home when he was about 15 and had never been back since. His father was alcoholic and abusive, and his mother was strung out on meth. He was a self-taught hacker and a damn good one but not better then any of my guys. And obviously not good enough to the point where he couldn't get since the only reason he was apart of the CIA was because he was car trying to hack into their system, he went to prison until they realized they could use the young boy to their advantage.

"You really think you can get away with this? I'm apart of the CIA dumbass their going to look for you and throw you in Prison to rot!" He yelled slamming his hands on his Computer desk.

It was sad that he really thought he was important to the CIA, he was just a puppet, someone to control, someone to get Information they need but don't feel like looking for themselves. Their was Thousands of illegal hackers in the USA that they could get that were just as good as him maybe even better. But they knew little Ethan here was a scary ass boy that would keep his mouth shut if that meant it would keep him from getting hurt or killed.

He was in the wrong game if he thought he could make it out without getting touched at least once.

"It's fucking hilarious that you think those motherfuckas care about you, I could simply make it look like a suicide Ethan, I mean look at your life? Abusive father, strung out mother and it doesn't help that you been suicidal since you were 13." I smirked evilly. Ethans face saddened, his feeling hurt clearly.

"How do you know that?" He asked, looking at me through his eyelashes, his eyes glossy.

"Your not the only one that can get information on someone." I cocked my gun, looking over at ace who has been quietly watching it all go down. He was my backup in case he tried something. "I'll rather die then do what some random ni-" before he could finish I lost my temper and pulled the trigger making his blood splash all over his walls, desk and Computer screen. Fast and simple.

The rush of Adrenaline had me on a high that I loved. A high that no amount of weed or drug could bring.

I could hear my own breathing And my hearting beating rapidly in my ears.

"Nigga snap outta it and bring your crazy ass on!" Ace screamed shoving me in the arm, I jumped back into reality. I grabbed my bag and wiped my gun clean of my finger prints and position his hand to hold it and pointed at his head.

Easy.

Simple.

I squatted down to his computer and grabbed his memory card, scanned it to my laptop and made my way out of his door.

"You wasn't supposed to shoot yet! What was the fucking plan? Huh? You never stick to the plan!" Ace yelled slamming the door to the apartment and locking it.

Simple.

"Shut up mothafucka I made the plan fuck is you tripping for? This is some CIA hecker nobody gives a fuck relax..." I spit as we both jumped in the car, my body jerked forward as von sped off. Ace sat quietly as he shook his head, he always acts like I don't know what I'm doing. I know exactly what I am doing I may let my temper get the best of me sometimes but I'm still in control.

I know what I'm doing.

I sat back and prepared myself for the next step of the mission- get my money. This was the easiest part but sometime people liked to play with me about my money. Which never ended good on their part. It's almost like people don't know who I am and what I'm capable of. It's fucking hilarious.

This probably wasn't going to be one of those night.

Because 1: I have worked with this man multiple times and he knows not to play with me.

2: I was the only man In Oakland that could do a assassin so flawlessly.

Von parked in the middle of a dark ally way that led to the back of his club. It was lightly lit from the small light above the door.

"I'll do this by myself since you keep bitching, gimme my Glook." Von passed it back to me and I stepped out and walked around to the trunk taking my black hoodie off. Just a white tee under and slipped on my black Leather jacket and my Diamond covered Rolex on.

"I'll be back." I said as I slammed the trunk and made my way to the mental door. I knocked three time. "Name?" Said the man in all black that opened the door. "Killmonger." He nodded and let me in and led the way to the office. The small of weed and cigars hit my nose soon as I stepped in.

"Boss, he's here." I smirked as I walked in as I stare at the old man in the eyes.

Carlo Romano. A old ass mafia king that was a bad mothafucka.

"Ahh killmonger! Come in!" He shouted pulling me into a hand shake. the small of Whiskey strong on his breath. "Sit down." He mentioned to the chair in front of his desk. I sat and leaned back eyeing the door, I have never been to this club/office before normally he would have me meet him at his club that was in downtown LA.

The office was nice, the desk was a dark shiny wood and the walls were a blood red with gold detailing. Carlos cleared his throat bringing my  attention back to him. I raised my eyebrow waiting for him to get this over with.

"Already, let's cut all that other bullshit." He chuckled waving his hand.

"you get it done?" He said almost in a whisper as if everyone didn't know what I was here for.

I chuckled, pulling the memory cord outta my pocket. "Of course I did...don't I always?" I smirked as I flicked the cord up to my face showing him. He reached for it but I pulled back quickly. His face fell before he came to realization. "Your money Of course, That's what I love about you kill, you always make sure you get your money first, smart." He snapped his fingers and one of the girls that stood off to the corner of his office rusted to get the Silver briefcase from behind her. She was skinny white brunette with a tight slutty dress on. No Doubt in my mind that she was fucking Carlos for money even though he had a fine young wife at home. Sweet little thing, mixed light skinned girl with blonde high lights and a model like body. It was almost unbelievable that he was dumb enough to want to fuck these unflavored gelatin free white bitches when he had her at home.

I tore my eyes from the girl and glanced down at the briefcase in front of me. I popped it open and it was all there. All 80k of it. Ace and I will split it and than both of us will give von 5k for being the driver. This was Fast easy money if you had what it takes.

I put the cord down on his desk and slide it towards him. I didn't know what was on it and didn't need to know my job was to kill the boy and bring the cord that's all.

"It was nice doing business with you again Carlo." I said as I stood up to shake his hand. I grabbed my money and made my way out.

Simple

A another mark had to be added to my body but at least I was walking out of here with 35k add to my bank account.

-

The next morning was a chill day, we didn't have much to do besides discuss upcoming missions but after that we sat in our game room playing Fortnite which sadly was barely used due to us all being to busy most of the time to take time out of the day for ourselves. Today was a boys day if you well.

The room was filled with smoke and beer cans and tacos takeout boxes were scattered around the coffee table in front of us. Music blasted from my speaker and video game gun shots rang in the air, it felt like childhood again. The days were me and my niggas would do this every Friday, even though almost all us had a shitty life still, we always made each other feel something other pain for some hours, then at the end of the day and aces mom would come home from work and tell us we had to go home we would be snatched back to reality. It was all good though because the next day we would all meet up again on our bikes to go to the arcade or shoot some hoop at the park.

Life was simple.

Well 'simpler'

"Nigga! I'm on yo ass now!" Ace yelled as he tried to chase me around the map of COD that I knew to well.

"Nah nigga I'm on yo ass, pause!" We all laughed as a turned a Conner and shot ace in the back while he was trying to kill me. Rae almost choked on his beer laughed.

"You mothafucka got me almost dying shut the fuck up damn." He joked.

Three rounds later, I (of course) won.

"I'm not fucking playing the game anymore fuck this." Ace huffed. I rolled my eyes, this dude was so dramatic.

"You just a little bitch ace all you do is whine." Von said as he set his controller on the coffee table.

"Nah because Erik always cheating!"

"Nah you just suck ass nigga." I chuckled as I took a sip from my beer, it was ice cold and was sweating down my hand. As the rest of them sat and talked about whatever I grabbed my phone and checked my messages— hoping to find Israel number there since she hadn't texted or spoken to me in almost two days. I clicked on her name and started to send a text but my thumb just hovered over the send button. I didn't want her to think I was clingy or annoying but then again maybe she wanted me to text her instead ?

I don't know what I'm doing with this whole thing I don't even know what this 'thing' is.

Are we just good friends or is this going to turn into a little fuck Buddies situation.

That's something I'm more familiar I hated when things got complicated like this when I couldn't figure out my feelings towards something. It was all just to much, liked having strictly fucking relationships but then again I don't know if I want that with Israel.

Maybe I was thinking to much into this. I shoved my phone back into my pocket and walked into Area with the rest of them.

"I already know Jhené gon' be there so I'm for sure gon' there." Von said grinning. Jhené was this little dark skinned cutie that this nigga couldn't get enough of, that's all he be talking about but the thing is Jhené ain't feeling him like that you can see it on her face but this man just won't give up and It's been like this since high school.

I chuckled and sat on a stool. "Where y'all going?" I asked.

"They having a block party on 45th this Friday you should come everyone and they mama gon' be there." Ace said excitedly.

"And it's a early 2000s theme party it's about to be turnt as fuck I already know it." Von said.

"You niggas gonna put on them big ass straight leg pants shorts and long ass white tees?" I chuckled as the rest busted out laughing.

"Hell nah! Niggas was really wearing that thinking they was dipping." Ace shook his head as if he didn't wear that just like the rest of us.

"Bitch you are niggas fucks is you talking about?" I said still chuckling as I took another sip.

"Whatever nigga I'll be there I ain't got shit Else to do." I shrugged as I downed the rest of my drink. My mind still on rather I should call her or not.

Fuck.

———-

(Not edited)

it's just a little filler just to lead into the new chapter :)

[calypsoff2]

One Hundred Nine. Part 3

I really don’t like people like Rorrey talking about me, making up that we was flirting, and it is truly getting to me but I don’t want to kick off, I don’t want to be that person either. I might end up being that person, I’m sick of it being me, or better yet being the couple that are problematic when we are not. Robyn and I are just minding ours and this was supposed to be fun. Everyone be getting on my ass and he’s really pissing me off, I need to relax before I snap on a-lot of people which I don’t want to do but I will end up doing it. Including Herb actually, that nigga is quiet with me but he needs to realise that his bird is chirping. I just been in the bedroom, I’ve been here for two hours now, I am staying out of the way because it seems like everything is my fault but I’m hungry, so I am going down now. I just put a snap back on and shades, just a shirt and shorts. Least I have a tan now, I look better than I did. Closing the door behind me “you coming down” Herb said, he’s here “remembered me?” I said “what you mean bro” he laughed, I mean I don’t find shit funny “like you been ducking me, not speaking to me. I really don’t care, all I need is my wife but it’s a little shady” I said straight up, I ain’t going to lie and front, it’s a bitch ass move “I am trying to stay out of it” letting out an oh “so you choosing her side yeah? The one that piped up” Herb groaned out “bro please, I just don’t want to be involved, please. I just want to be neutral” I sniggered “don’t bro me, you staying out of it is really you just picking sides, you low-key coming to speak to me. I really don’t need anyone, I got mines. Deal with yours” walking by him “you being so sensitive, come on bro?” Turning to him “I don’t need you, fuck you. I ain’t ever going to listen to you, or anyone” people know I get riled up easily and just prod me, let me eat and maybe I will then relax. Seeing Robyn is sat with the girls, the boys are in the kitchen area. This will be fun, a plate might be on Rorrey’ head soon, he’s just a fuck nigga that can’t make his own girl happy. I ain’t even going to sit away from them niggas, if I want to sit with them I will. I don’t care, I ain’t shying away either because I have done nothing wrong, it’s him making up shit about me and if he is so tough he will bring it up with me instead of just hiding away about it and speaking to his sister like some bitch ass, I really don’t like people like that either.

The silence on this table is thick, to me this is hilarious because they are all bitch niggas being all quiet for what. Speak the fuck up “what we thinking today? Shall we go to the club?” Nik suggested, least someone is talking because all these niggas been quiet for no reason, I don’t know why but I kind of do know why and it’s because of this meat head “yeah, let’s do that. I think they have beach clubs, so that would be best to go. Stay around here because it’s gated” I said “least you did your research” he said, nodding my head. Rorrey and I locked eyes, he’s such a boy “you got a problem?” He said to me “I think you do” I said laughing “you know what, it’s sick that you ran to your sister. After everything she’s been through, and you talk shit about me? Come to me like a man” Rorrey laughed “you caused that, you literally caused my sister to have that breakdown and then you built her back up, funny that. And now you want to be holier than anyone. I told my sister what I saw” pulling a face “what did you see? Your girlfriend laughing? Did that sting?” I said laughing “nigga, you don’t want to start with me” I laughed “I’m not, I asked a question and you can’t answer me properly because you look like a clown, I can’t laugh with her” I am not understanding his logic “not when it comes to a nigga like you, I know your type, you ain’t a good person and you do flirt with others, I saw you both laughing and you had your arm out to her, tell me how is that normal huh?” I laughed out “so talking to your girlfriend is flirting? Ok I got it, I don’t care, just fix your own relationship until you come to mine” let me leave it alone “I’ll be the bigger man” picking my plate up, Herb is just stood staring like fuck off nigga, you useless as shit as a friend. I’m over him too, walking by everyone and making my way to the kitchen to put my plate away “Chris, bro. Let us speak, I don’t want this beef with you over Mel” placing my plate down “I’m sick of everyone in this bitch, I don’t even understand why you’re even mad!? Like” turning to him “you and I both know what it’s like with the ladies, they be getting on our case. Mel is upset with me that I told you things” I laughed “tell her to grow up; I don’t want to know” walking off, I just rather not speak to Herb because he does be on some dumb shit for no reason. Clearly he is standing by Mel so he can have her, walking to go back to the bedroom. I’m going to go to sleep, I need it.

Squinting my eyes seeing Robyn in the bedroom just being loud, she’s on FaceTime with the kids but still, I am trying to sleep. Lifting my phone up, oh it’s late. I’ve slept like five hours, maybe I should get out of bed. I feel so drained, I feel like I can’t be myself because then I am always the bad one, when in real terms I’m just being real, and they are fake as shit. Clearing my throat as I got off of the bed “dad is awake girls” slowly walking over to Robyn “hey kids” I waved “my daddy, I miss you” Imani is so cute “same baby, I will call you all later” I’m not in the mood, I feel like everyone has drained me. Putting my slides on and then making my way out of the bedroom, music is blaring so they are having a good time looks like. Slowly walking down the steps, Mel is walking up the steps, but her room isn’t even here either. Let my mind my business as I continue to walk down the steps, Mel purposely hit by me, she did it not by accident, there is whole lot of space, and she purposely did it “the fuck is wrong with you?” I said turning around “you was in the way” she said “me!? You literally hit by me! The fuck is your problem, I ain’t done fucking anything to you! You piped up. You think just because you Rihanna’ friend I’m going to back the fuck down, remember who was there for you! Sure ain’t your baby fucking father” Robyn came out of the bedroom “what is happening?” She said confused “least he can stay away; you just keep coming back” I would drop kick this bitch “you’re the one hanging onto Robyn’ breasts, if it wasn’t for her you would be walking around with that kool aid fucking hair. At your grown fucking age, now fuck outta my face” oh now she’s going to cry “don’t” I said to Robyn, let me just go downstairs, I am sick of them all “Christopher” Noella said, I groaned out. Not another family member, I am sick of them “hey, hey. I ain’t going to be saying anything bad to you, you seem really annoyed with everyone?” nodding my head “you damn right” I said.

Throwing my lighter onto the countertop “what’s happening with you? All I see is hollering” moving my cigarette back “Mel and then Rorrey, they both some deep issue with me. They just be on my case, so I was talking to Nadia, about things. He made up some shit that we was flirting, told my wife so that pissed me off” Noella gasped “no way but what is happening with you and Mel?” She asked “she hates her life; that is all I can say. She just hates that Robyn and I are ok, she said something along the lines of I am cocky, and bought up about Rih. She didn’t like that I am laughing at her for eating ass so early on in the relationship. So she got mad because I’m laughing. So yeah, all it’s doing is making my wife be stuck between both of us, I don’t want that for her” Noella sighed out “it will pass, she’s just being like this. Have you not had trouble with Mel before?” Shaking my head “I have and it passed, she takes a while to get over it. I think also she knows you’re easily targeted” I laughed “I ain’t that nigga Noella, I’ll bring you down. Nobody is my wife so yeah. But it causes issues and I hate for us, this is supposed to be fun for us, you know” seeing Herb walking over to me, and Mel is there also Robyn. I laughed, I laughed because shit is funny. I ain’t even going to get up for him, moving my cigarette back smiling at him “nigga come on now, you made her cry” blowing the smoke out from my lips “Herb stay out of it” getting up from the seat “she is baiting you up, don’t take the bait. She’s making you look stupid, at the end of the day. I will throw you, she will remain. No choice on that” my mouth, maybe I shouldn’t have said that “there is a reason why you ain’t got no family, you don’t shut the fuck up” squinting my eyes at him “don’t cap for a woman nigga” walking off “don’t walk away from me” Herb grabbed my arm “don’t walk away my nigga, I am speaking to you” looking at Mel “you didn’t want to be with her, now you being cap. Don’t have to do this Herb, you don’t need to prove a point” I feel like Herb wants to prove a point and it’s going to cause some issues “I’m always there for you, I don’t disrespect your woman at all” I frowned at him “you mean my wife, Mel is seasonal. I keep telling you that” I just knew Herb was going to come at me, I just knew it. It was just so instant that I knew he was going to come at me that I got my hand up and just gripped his neck, it was impressive “is that what brothers do now!?” Pushing him back by his neck, Herb gagged and fell back “you caused so much shit” I pointed at Mel “and for what? Because I laughed at you!? Is that it? You for one should fucking know how much I have changed and you’re there like a dickhead starting shit, I have done nothing but be good to you and your fucking daughter, and you know what. You and Herb can fuck off” Robyn hasn’t peeped a word “Chris, come, let’s go. Ignore this, all of it. It’s not worth it” Noella said “I really thought good of Mel, she got mad over shit, I dealt with her shit, you can fucking write a motherfucking apology to me before we make up, I ain’t no dickhead like you” Noella pulled me along.

Noella is laughing, I don’t know why “you just don’t have an off button, I like that. It’s funny. I think Mel knows she has messed up badly” shaking my head “you see how that nigga came at me? He here because of me and you come at me?” I am annoyed “don’t be like that, just let things calm down” Nadia came out also “your boyfriend also starting shit, I swear he is a fucking bird” I pointed “how so?” Nadia asked “he started telling my wife we flirted, since when?” Nadia looks shocked “for us talking? How is that? I am sorry he did that, I wasn’t aware” Robyn hasn’t even come here “why hasn’t Robyn come to see me” I said “she is between the both of you Chris, she is staying out of it. It’s for the best” chewing on my bottom lip “she should be on my side, Mel ain’t doing shit” throwing my third cigarette down “I am going back outside” shaking my head “no, don’t” Nadia put her head on my chest “it’s still kicking off” squinting my eyes “chile, chile, chile. Didn’t you look handsome threatening people” Tina said, why is all the girls coming to me “you think?” I laughed “mhmm you did, an intervention is happening out there. Herb is angry at you, but Mel is feeling bad, I think anyways” I shrugged “shall we leave them and go to the club?” I said “we need to do a shot for the road” I shrugged “let’s just go” I looked outside, Herb is really mad “actually” walking around Tina and going outside. “I am sick” Robyn said and hitting into my chest “with?” I said “everything, I think we need to just give space” I shrugged “you can, I am going out. Don’t worry Rorrey, I won’t steal your girlfriend now” I sniggered, Robyn didn’t find it funny, but I did, they can all be miserable, I am going out “Chris” Robyn said “fuck all them, they all starting on me because we good, can’t you see it. And Mel needs to get a life” Robyn can be sick, I will be having fun.

[anonil88]

Euphoria Season 2 Episode 4 Liveblog

It's my birthday so we are jumping straight into this. As always there will be spoilers below.

🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇

Aw Rue Rue she definitely may be ace or she has just killed her sex drive via opis.

This is so sweet all ot these analogies to art ugh I can't. I'm kinda tearing up this is too much because the love is so big but it's going to hurt so bad when it ends on flames.

My heart can't take this but Rue confirmed she has killed her libido with drugs.

I can't im laughing this is hilarious but I also have lied too. Also the fact that Jules could tell she was lying because Rue has actually came before.

No Elliot don't ruin this but also this is funny as fuvk but he's definitely going to um my jaw is just wide open. This is so funny but I know yep.

Oh fuck there it is ugh stop yall stopped. Ugh stop. Oh thank God Rue texted cause omfg. Ugh this is gonna be so bad. I hate that Sam wrote this in.

I can't even blame them cause I too did stuff like this. This sucks though.

Maddy deserves a better boyfriend and bestfriend. (My friend said Maddy looks like a rich wine mom by the pool and yep sis is living in her future right now, sheesh I don't think you want this Maddy.

Cassie just leave him alone he is fucking playing you both. I hate this man for fucking up this friendship but I also really dislike Cassie for just not breaking it off with him and being a better bestfriend.

I hate Nate, oh Maddy my heart she loved him entirely. Loved him so much and Cassie THAT AINT YOUR NIGGA.

Nate is a piece of shit and Cassie is fucking batshit stupid as hell. Thank you for reading the hell out of her though Nate he clearing this girl out. Never did i think I would be agreeing with Nate fucking Jacobs.

Cassie....that's literally what you are doing to Maddy.

Ew not him saying "I love you."

I love Lexi, she is a good ass sister and Cassie should open up to her sister.

Tove Lo!! And INXS!! Love love love this.

Cal is reminiscing about Derek and is about to drive drunk I bet. This is funny as hell but accurate, I have seen white guys and their dad have these conversations.

Nate actually cares about his dad which is wild.

They know its wrong and they keep going fucking Elliot and Jules. But also Elliot and Rue are snorting lines for fun....he didnt do it so um he is a bad guy. I know what he's about to do and its shady and manipulative.

Oh oh OHHHH yea maybe the 3 of yall should just do it. Yea Jules is definitely polyamorous and Rue is definitely jealous. This is definitely going to end so badly.

Cassie and Lexis mom needs her own episode or im just glad to see more of her.

Awww Kat and she looks so pretty, Maddy is really a good fucking friend. Aw I needed to see these two talk like oh my god. Also lol Kat calling out Maddy for using the R word.

Ugh this is too cute.

Yea this is a terrible idea but leaving Rue was so smart. Terrible idea though.

Ayy a car door rig!

Nate said move bitch I'm not here to see you.

Cal is either going to die 👀 or about to see Derek or kill a bunch of people.

My heart is racing seeing both of these cars speeding like I'm scared. At least Elliot isn't high while driving but this is going to end up terribly.

No Cassie you look like shit and keep crying so obviously Nate working on things with Maddy is hurting her.

Jules is about to be pissed. Yea I saw that coming because Rue is jealous and also high. Rue maybe you should just talk to your girlfriend instead if being stupid and throwing it down the drain. She's going to loose the girl she loves and its going to be her fault.

Wait is this girl about to change because he's coming to the party. God Cassie you dumb bitch. But she is about to ruin Nates entire ego.

Lexi is worried and scared for her sister. Instead of writing it down maybe you should just talk to her? Or tell your mom?

Cal is off his shit at the gay club, bro I think he is going to die and Nate is going to actually be more sad and distraught than he thought he would be.

My nerves are so high and we are only halfway through.

Aw Cassie I need both you and Cal to drink some water. Them sinking this song about being a good person who just wants to be free highkey hurts.

Cal just wants to live the life he never got to with Derek even if its for one night with a stranger. That's so fucking sad.

Nate and Maddy looking at her like that is so sad.

Rue shut up and Jules is so hurt about this. Jules may fuck him to feel less bad about it all but its still going to hurt. Rue is about to do drugs to numb herself again when she could have just said "I'm jealous that I can't fuck you."

Nate knows him staying is a terrible idea.

If Rue takes these percs and dies i will scream.

Ugh my fucking heart this is how she feels but it is also terrifying like peace but its scary.

I know the game Jules is playing right now, she is about to do it with him and it isn't like he hasn't plotted to do this. It sucks but its coping.

Cassie please get the fuck up out the hot tub, you look desperate. Also Maddy yes girl put it together put together the cheating.

GET HIS ASS KAT GET HIS ASS MADDY.

This is so fucking nasty and I wanna hit them both with a pan.

Okay the music coordinator is doing overtime because she, it is a woman ayy, got a Faith Evans song cleared.

Cal is such a sad sad man. Sad in general like he's actually sad, the life he leads is sad, and just everything about him is sad.

The symbolism for him getting shut out of a gay club, he literally got shut out of being his true self because of Marsha. Ouch.

Even if he doesn't die from this I see Cal killing himself in like 5 years.

They're about to get raided? Oh it's dude...oh fuck the mouse situation.

This is too close to how Rue treated her when she met Tyler and "Tyler wasn't who she thought he was." But instead of them being sweet its completely just sexual and avoiding.

Someone did need to tell Jules but I am glad he was at least honest with her. But she's now so hurt by these two people she trusted more than anything. Jules please go check on Rue please. Or just go home because you don't need either of them.

WHERE IS RUE'S MOM!

No Rue No oh im crying and Jules is going to find her. Oh god no, oh God no and she doesn't wanna die. She's so tired oh she's so tired and she just wants the pain to be over.

Yes you are Rue you're the best of em you just are hurting. She really misses her dad so just really misses her dad and I get that. I get that. No love fills that spot. She needs to tell her mom how much she misses him. She needs to hug someone while sober and hug them for a long time. Where is her mom? How did she not hear her come in and Gia can't exactly save her.

Cal is a teenager he's not a man, Marsha is like a mother to him and he is lonely. He is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and entire breakdown.

He's bi and Marsha you're a bitch because she knew and wouldn't just let him leave. How the fuck does Marsha just walk past him like he didn't say or isn't saying any of this.

Everyone does lead a double life.

Nate is an asshole.

Oh cause she is cheating too damnnnn.

Aaron is just as fucked up and sadistic as everyone but at least he's just got a pron addiction. I wonder if he also saw those tapes just like Nate.

Not Cal reading his entire fucking family for filth. He's leaving...oh fuck he may really kill himself or dip. Nate looks like a sad ass child. Nah Cate technically you backed yourself into a corner.

Where is their middle son? We all know there's one but him leaving with the photo is wow. He said this is my shit I built this shit.

Fez, you need a plan.

Jules? Oh she stayed with him cause he didn't lie but she's also fucking him because she is sad. But also Elliot did that on purpose because he wanted Jules for himself.

Kat please break up with Ethan please. Its okay not to love him it is okay to leave. Also it is not good to string him along. 🙃

This image of Cassie crying reminds me of Rodarte this is absolute art. Marcel you are a true genius. But Cassie is on the road to alcoholism just like her mom, everything that's happened thats out of character has been while she's drunk.

Well shit has entirely hit the fam.

Jules is cutting again, oh no. Yea honey I'm going to need you to distance yourself from both of them. No matter how much I love Rules she hurt herself because she thinks that Rue's relapse is entirely her fault. Probably like when she was a kid and thought the same about her mom I'm guessing. She doesn't know that its not and Elliot is probably not going to tell her what Rue. He is manipulating her and she doesn't even know. I just want to hug Jules like

Sigh, wait is Jules about to become the narrator. These two really do love one another but they both need help and not eachother right now.

Also noted Rue didn't narrarate this episode mostly at all. Her voice is gone.

Oh sweetheart your voice is gone. That scares me.

See yall they know what they are doing. This show is visually stunning.

Me and my friends (we do talk backs after the ep) believe that Elliot is sus btw. He gave Rue alcohol and then pointed it out to act like "omg why are you drinking Rue???" Just so her girlfriend would know because you knew Jules would be angry and leave her alone. He's up to no good and knows she wants Rue. We could have had polyamory or a good healthy friendship, but nope non of that. My friend said its a manipulator coming in between a vulnerable drug addict and their partner and how addicts are vulnerable to other people who are ready to manipulate and hurt you for their own.

Edit; I am upset at Jules for her choices in thus situation with Elliot and for just letting Rue leave like that on the highway. Even though I can empathize with both because she's 17 she's a kid as they all are and humans no matter what age make mistakes. I know the whole DND mode move and sneaking around is fucked up from doing that (not cheating really but other stuff). So that game she's playing there is a slippery ass slope and not a good look on her part. Wish Hunter and Zendaya could have just written and stared in a queer perfect love story with its issues but close to perfect though.

Episode 5 preview thoughts:

Elliot wanted a high friend because then her finally had someone he could relate to. Laurie is telling Rue the truth (we know she goes to her). But, everyone is about to go through it. I'm scared like really scared for all my girls. Hoping the best comes for Rue and all the girls. Wishing Ethan the best as well and hope he really smashes his role in Lexi's play about her life.

[misterbitches]

i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao

it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.

anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like

bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?

so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao

so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.

i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?

but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)

so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.

but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?

also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.

because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.

so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?

because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?

and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post

so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.

and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.

and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?

ok so lets go through this:

1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????

2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.

3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?

3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?

4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"

4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)

4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!

5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.

6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"

7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE

8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this

9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—

10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.

10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing

they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.

also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever

even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD

even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird

just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.

how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.

i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?

then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)

(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)

[calypsoff]

Twenty Seven. Part 2

I dipped out of that bitch quick as fuck, I ain’t waiting around, why would I and who am I waiting for. I found out that TJ is having a son and that is all I need to know; shit was weird though. To be in that environment, to be in that situation where people knew me, where I got pointed out and they wanted pictures with me, for what. I am not famous, my girlfriend is but me, no. I don’t do pictures with people, I am not there for me. I think that made me feel uncomfortable, so I wanted to leave, I’m glad I did. I’m just going to go home and and relax now, I did my thing. Tomorrow back to Texas and the Cali, it blows my mind that this is my life now. I am city to city, I am free. Like when I was living in VA, when I was here I felt locked and I had people after me, not saying I don’t have that now still, but I am happier and I feel less the need to hide, I always wanted to hide because I felt trapped within myself, I feel like my personality is coming back. The kid I was, being locked up crushed me, I was fucked up. I think maybe I was depressed, but Robyn has helped me. I can’t thank her enough, she has been my rock even though she is angry with me about going but nothing happened, there was no drama at all. Now I am home, I did try and call Robyn, but her phone was not on, she did say she was in rehearsals. I kind get like Seiko would have had me in the photos with her, like I felt she wanted that. She was edging towards me and stuff, I had to go because it was getting weird quick, it was getting a little too much for me anyways. All is well, I am happy and home because no drama happened today.

Closing the door behind me “is that you Chris!?” My mother asked “yeah” making my way into the living room “oh” my auntie is here, I’m sure she said she never wanted to see my face because of her son being where he is now “you look well” everyone keeps saying this “thanks” I mumbled “I am going to be in my room” I rather be there “sit with your auntie” oh this bitch doesn’t want me to sit, she wants to question me about how I am living life and her son isn’t “I’m cool” I waved her off “how is your girlfriend?” See I knew it “which one?” Laughing as I said that “I don’t see you as a cheater, I mean who cheats on Rihanna. Rihanna cheats on you, that’s how it goes” I shrugged “I don’t have one” I don’t like speaking about Rihanna, it’s not just not something I want to speak on to everyone “Chris, stop it now” taking in a deep breath “she’s good” I answered properly “I would get her pregnant, least you will get paid” who says that “least I can get a girl pregnant, can’t say that about your son. Tell him to google me” walking off, she can fuck off and die. Who the hell says that I expected my mom to tell me off for what I said but no. She knows that she did wrong, that was wrong of her when I didn’t attack her like she did me “going to bed already?” My sister asked at the top of the steps “you think I’m sitting with that, no way” shaking my head “did you go to the gender reveal then?” Nodding my head “it was nothing, went there and it was just nothing, saw a few people then came back here” my sister walked off rolling her eyes “surprised she let you go” how can they be surprised by that, it’s not a big deal.

Is it just me or my followers are going up, yes they are going up “that’s weird” I said to myself, my phone started to ring, the WhatsApp group is calling, answering the call “hey” placing it on speakerphone “I just want to say thank you both so much for coming, I decided to call my child Bhris. Include both of your names” TJ is dumb “man whatever, I came for you and now you owe for whenever I do need you. It’s funny right, I went to thats shit and come back to more followers, how does that even work out” it’s confusing “you getting titty pictures again?” I busted out laughing “man, I need to look in my messages, but I don’t know. I ain’t like that people was saying that I am Rihanna’ boyfriend like I am Chris, now shut up!” It’s so stupid “you were literally the day, fuck my child. People were hyping you up, oh that is Rihanna’ boyfriend. Is Rihanna coming and shit, bro. It was funny to see that anyways. They were shocked anyways, but check. See if you’re getting nudes”  I chuckled swiping up on my screen “yeah well I will check but I don’t know, I think it’s just people probably trying to be nosey to see Robyn” Barry and TJ love going through my messages, it’s because there is so many thirsty bitches in my messages talking shit and sending me nudes and saying they want to be my side bitch, like no I am good with that “ayo, oh shit. You remember that one chick. The big one? The one that sent me pussy pictures and it was scary as fuck, she in my messages again” TJ screamed out “yo, her pussy was big as fuck. I could wear that shit as a crown, is it full of females still!?” nodding my head “yep, they want a light skinned daddy I guess” I am just a regular nigga, these girls are doing the most.

Stifling out a yawn as I tapped on my tagged posts “uh, what the fuck” tapping on the first picture “what is it?” Barry asked “yo, please go in my tagged posts” looking at the page, this is Rihanna fans, why are they zooming in on my sweatpants like that, scrolling down to the caption ‘I see why my queen @badgalriri is with him! An Anaconda’ the caption states and I couldn’t help but laugh, that shit is fucking hilarious “no fucking way! I can see why Rih is with him, yooooo they are zooming in on your dick. But where is the actual picture” backing out of the picture, my tagged posts is full of my bulge, scrolling down and then there we have it. Tapping on the original picture “The Shade room!” TJ and I both said in unison “no fucking way!” Barry cackled “nigga you made it, oh shit, what is it” staring at the picture of me just stood staring, people were taking pictures. Swiping across, oh god not Kristie and I, that was harmless conversation “oh my god” how the hell they made this look bad, I was pointing at Seiko bump as I walked off, I told her good luck but that picture looks something else “Rihanna’ new boyfriend was caught attending his ex-girlfriend baby gender reveal, he was in high sprits talking to the ladies. Chris and his ex-girlfriend are friends, Chris denied any rumour that the baby is his but him attending the gender reveal without his girlfriend by his side seems a little off. Rihanna was last seen in California and looked less amused to be back, trouble in paradise?’ is this a joke “so that is why I am getting these follows, Robyn is going to kill me. It was all harmless” this is pathetic “another one from the party, why is people taking off guard pictures of you. Rihanna’s boyfriend, this is all they keep saying about you. You ain’t even Chris anymore” this is so fucking stupid.

Walking out of Giorgio Baldi, covering my face as the paparazzi took pictures, I have finished more rehearsals and thought I would have my meal with my manager and brothers that are here currently. Getting into the SUV, shuffling over in the seat to make space for my manager to get in. Tour is drawing so close and yet I skip over that one song, I have not rehearsed it being there, I skip it every time, it is too painful to do it. I feel like I am going to cry when I do it, nobody will ever know the pain I went through to finish off that tour in the first place. The pain of losing my baby, nobody will ever know, just the ones I want to know “that was eventful” Jay said, I am glad he spoke. I was about to cry “what was?” I asked “the meal, I like the way you are going and aiming for. I mean I was a little concerned at first, I was thinking where is Robyn’ mind at. She is doing no interviews; the album just gets released but the album is doing great. This tour will push it even more, it’s doing numbers. I can only see you going up, Queen Rihanna” I chuckled “what can I say, I try. But I am excited about this tour. It is my best one yet, the stage, the direction, the outfits. It is just me; you know. I feel comfortable” Jay clapped his hands “finally, we see eye to eye, but I am hype to see it in action for the first night” it will take my mind off a lot this tour.

Home sweet home “my feet hurt, my god” placing my bag on the kitchen counter “publicist” Tina held her phone up to me “really?” I said a little confused “mhm yes” taking the phone from her “hello” answering the phone “I have tried your phone, it’s off but there is something going around, a conversation from a clip that was taken. Chris was there, it’s very distorted and it’s talking about you getting pregnant. I am unsure, but the headline is baby on the way for Rihanna, is that at all true?” I am so confused “Chris said it!?” I spat “no, the other guy. The sound is not good, but he says about the line of Rih pregnant” I am going to blow “right, that is a lie. I am not pregnant” Mel’ eyes widened hearing that “Chris has made a lot of bad press about you being with him, it’s crazy ok. Bye” they disconnected the call “what did I say?” I said to Mel passing Tina’ phone back to her “you knew this would happen” nodding my head “now this is the drama that has happened, my phone is off apparently. I left it here, the battery might has died but this is on Chris, I knew this would happen. He wanted to go there and now look, just drama for nothing” sitting down on the bar stool “you think Chris will be calling you? Or has called you” I sniggered “I know my man, he will. I can bet you money. I know for a fact he is or has called me. Well my phone is off so he can’t contact me, he will assume I am angry” Mel’ phone started to ring “it’s Barry” Mel grinned, she is happy as fuck “hey boo” rolling my eyes, they are sickening already. I don’t like this “I am at home why?” Mel said, I guess I better go and get my phone to check on it. Maybe also charge it “yeah she’s here, we were out. Why are you asking? Has Chris done something wrong” Mel winked at me and then put the phone on speaker “no, he ain’t do anything wrong just wondering if Rihanna is ok” these niggas ain’t shit “but there must be a reason why?” Mel questioned “just Chris was saying Robyn is ignoring him, so just yeah. Nothing to do with us” shaking my head laughing, I just knew this would have happened, but it’s not even that I am ignoring him, just my phone died, and he assumes I know anything about it.

Mel came back into the kitchen as I continued to stuff my face full of fruit “so like I asked him again, I said did anything happen. What is up? Blah blah. He said oh nothing just that his words are being twisted and he is annoyed, what did you say about being pregnant? To your publicist?” Mel asked “oh erm a clip of Chris talking, something to do with a baby. I hope he hasn’t said that I was in any way like that, but the clip is distorted a lot so it’s a lot of assumptions about what was said, anyways I am going to charge my phone. But I told you, I said this would happen. I hate being right” sliding off the bar stool “I don’t think he would, he better not have. Have fun anyways” nodding my head as I took the plate with me, I cut this damn Melon for myself “Rorrey, we will be leaving in a few days so if you need to do anything do it now, you know I want someone here. Rajad, just do nothing” Rorrey snatched some Melon from my plate “asshole” I mean if my brother wasn’t doing this for me then I would have got a house sitter, it’s not good leaving a home like this alone. I mean a home I was forced into because I needed to prove a point to Chris that I do have a home.

As soon as my phone switched on, I am not even joking. No time for my notifications to come through Chris called, like he sensed it but I will pick up now. It’s a little too much to just ignore him because only god knows how long he’s been ringing “hello” answering the call “seriously Robyn!? Why is your phone off, that has really pissed me off” he sounds it “my phone died clearly, nothing bad” placing my phone on speakerphone “but it is bad Robyn, I got worried. I am sorry, damn!” I sniggered “what are you sorry about?” placing my phone on the bed laughing to myself “about the headlines, the shit that is being said about me. None of that happened” eating my Melon as I laid back smirking, I just knew this would happen “tell me more” I mumbled “but uh what is that about pregnant and me?” I pointed, I need to understand that “that shit was never said, TJ was speaking on he wants us to have a baby so we can open a day care, it was a joke. Nothing about you being pregnant. I am sorry, I just didn’t think that would happen. It’s fucked up” maybe now he will listen to me “mhmm right, so say this after me. Ready?” I said, I swear this boyfriend of mine will learn “what?” placing my Melon down “I am sorry Robyn, I will listen to you because you are always right. Say it and then you and I can move on and be free from the chains of an argument” the line went silent; I know for a fact he dislikes being wrong. He is going to be irritated but if he was a silent life he will “I said sorry already?” he said sounding all annoyed “and? When you are ready” I have a all night for him to say it “I am sorry Robyn, I will listen to you because you are always right. Dang, are you done?” I guess I have to forgive him “just know, I know what these blogs are like, so anyways. I hope you had a good time at a gender reveal” I know he regrets the mess “first I am Rihanna’s boyfriend and now this, damn” he is miserable, I am glad he is “I mean what else are you? Next time you will listen to me Chris” rolling my eyes.

[shaekingshitup]

Shae’s First Date

For anyone who is bored: the most brief (that I can recap because ya girl is a lengthy heaux) summary of my first date goes as follows:

EDIT: THIS SHIT AIN'T BRIEF. SORRY NOT SORRY 🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️ But I put a TLDR at the end.

I matched with a guy on Bumble who had some cool hobbies and some of which overlapped with mine. We talked daily for almost 2 weeks before we met up in person and the guy was a very big charmer/woo-er. Like if I was messaging this kid I was constantly laughing and smiling

Tbh this was a lil bit of a red flag to me becauae I'm like: "no one is this charming. Something has gotta be up" & I legit came up with a few different scenarios. But I chose to shelf them because people do that to me all the time.

Like I'm just a really loving person and I will gas people up or go out of my way to make them happy if I can and people always want to try me like that can't truly be how/who I am or if I'm doing it it's because I'm trying to get at that person and they are always wrong. All the way from best friends to new acquaintances I really just like when people are happy. I mean the world's shitty already, if I can make your day easier or put smile on your face I'm game!

So we're on the phone one night (stayed up to 3 am sacrificing my sleep talking to this dude 🙄) talking more about who we are as people, what we're looking for in an ideal partner, etc. I told him straight up both via call and via message that honesty is really important to me. I value honesty with myself and also with others.

So also in this late night call things got a lil spicy 🌶 🌶 I was honest and told him that I'm pretty much a blank slate. Never fucked/sucked, etc or had anything like that done to me. He was taken aback like everyone I share this with is. Apparently I'm some sort of unicorn 🦄 out here in these streets to all y'all hoes. He makes a comment about stealing a kiss from me the next night and I said "I might allow it."

But the point is. I told him what it was. I was honest. That's my truth.

I didn't tell him that I'd never been on a date/kissed anyone because he didn't ask. Maybe if I would've said something, things would've been different. But I can't "what if" what's already happened y'all!

SO, day of. We messagin and snapping. I'm allll ready. We're going to a drive in and I'd never been to one before so I'm excited. I'm also just committed to making this a good time because I easily get distracted and often don't stop to take my experiences in to experience them fully. So I said not today!!

I got snacks. All of his favs and some of mine. I brought drinks and a blanket. I looked good.

Like I said in my pre-date post: I didn't have any lofty ideas about this dude being my soul mate or anything but I anticipated a good time.

He picked me up at our designated location. My sister met him and got his license plate; because apparently I had enough sense to realize I didn't know this nigga but not enough sense to later realize I didn't know this nigga.

It wasn't gonna take as long to get to the drive in as originally anticipated. So we went to a local park and sat in the car and talked because the park was PACKED and ya know RONA!

It was somewhat awkward because it was our first time talking face to face. But we found a groove and I'm extroverted af y'all. So, I can get people to have a conversation.

Topics range from our days, music and conspiracy theories which he's really into. What kind? Like: Shakespeare wrote the Bible is one. A lot of people that we know from media aren't really the original ones that we were introduced to is another. Ya know like that Beyoncé is not the real Beyoncé. There's two Trumps. There's two Hilary Clintons etc.

So at this point sensible me is like: this can be the point where you go home girl. You're 5 minutes away from your place. You can just say this ain't workin and cut it short.

OPTIMISTIC/BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT GIVIN/NAIVE SILLY ME IS LIKE: well, I 100% don't agree with anything you're saying just because you're saying it. But ya know, I don't know everything and I'm not in the business of judging people-especially since we just met and I don't want this human to feel uncomfortable. So, okay. I don't agree. But I won't judge. Let's just continue on.

If you haven't guessed by now which me I listened to, you may be just as silly as I am 🙃🙃🙃

But obviously I continued on and that's what I call mistake #1

So we're driving to the drive in. I'm realizing we're kind of different in ways. Most notable is that dude was raised Jehovah's Witnesses and celebrates 0 holidays & I'm in love with Halloween and at least birthdays.

We miss the drive in entrance due to my poor navi skills & he decides to smoke before we pull in. He offers it to me and I accept. This is mistake #2

Ya girl hasn't smoked in 6 years. I tried edibles recently. But that shit ain't the same. I really just feel like I said I wanted to be present and then I smoked and I was tired and everything was kind of dull?

So I'm high and sleepy but still a lil excited because it's my first drive in!! We get there and park and the drive in is really just a giant protection screen we all park in front of. Lmao. 😅 Idk what I was expectin but not that. But it was still cool. It's 10 and this movie still hasn't started because the last one is still showin credits.

Dude says he wants to chill in the back but he's going to the bathroom. I AM SLEEPY. THAT IS WHAT WEED DOES TO ME. Plus I was on the phone til 3 AM. So I'm like imma close my eyes before this thing starts since it's already late.

So while he goes to the bathroom I legit laid down in the back on a pillow because ya girl is a sleepy heaux 😴

He comes back and pits the pillow in his lap and is talking to me because this movie ain't started yet. My eyes are closed but I'm listening and everything and he's massaging my shoulders and whatnot. Eventually advertisements about common courtesy come on and what not. But that's not important and I don't move.

Soo he says something I'M ASSUMING IT WAS ABOUT THE KISS (I don't remember y'all. I'm about to skimp on some of these details because that high was really kickin in and I was feelin foggy.) But, I said "I would allow it." And he kissed me.

It honestly felt anticlimactic as fuck. Yeah my mind is kind of foggy because of the weed so I feel like I wasn't as fully cognizant as I would have been if I was sober minded. But also, it just happened

I'm in my head af. I've never done this and I'm sure I'm shit at it but I'm trying not to be ya know? Dude's tongue is in my mouth. His hand is under my romper.

So, I'm a roll with the punches kind of human and the rest of the film we pretty much are making out (lowkey meh), groping (I hate this word) & watching Deadpool ( for people who needed that detail)

As previously stated, all of this shit is new to me. But, I'm also not a "prude". I chose not to kiss/fuck anyone prior to this because it was what I wanted for a period of time. I couldn't do much in the date department because I was just not approached often or by people I wanted to entertain. But the opportunities for all that physical shit were presented and I chose not to just like I chose to engage in those activities on this date. I'm real big on not judging nor regretting those choices because those were what I wanted at one point and that's it. Soo if you got opinions about what I was out here doin, keep em to yaself.

We ended up making out and I feel like it was cool.. but just not great. We did other shit minus actual fucking. But it all just felt pretty muted to me. Not bad. Not uncomfortable. Just not great and I think in hindsight it was because I a) really didn't know and have an established connection with this dude and b) I was high.

He really wanted me to suck his dick and I was really hesitant to do that. Not even that much because I was checking off a lot of "firsts' or anything like that but because I swore I was gonna be shit at it due to 0 experience and that was what I told him. Like, I wanna be good at shit and also I would like if the person I was hooking up with was actually enjoying being with me ya know? Is that not a thing? Y'all just be out here tryna get ya nut and say fuck it to whomever you with? Lemme be a unicorn then. 🦄

But anyways, I did this and he says like nothing. I'm in my head af trying to recall upon all of my BP smut I've read and trying not to suck at sucking (SO THANKS TO ALL OF Y'ALL WHO BE WRITING SMUT!!). After a few minutes the car turns off and Ryan Reynold's ain't talking anymore. Sooo I take this as a sign that I should stop and tell him as much.

He turns the car back on so we can still hear the movie & I'm pretty much like half watching the movie and talking to him like: "Soooo. I did that and I feel like I was right." To which he responds, "I've had worse," which is like ya know the compliment of the century and the most reassuring feedback you can give someone who is insecure about shit they've never done.

We still ended up making out and I gave him a handjob and finished the movie. I can't recall if it was at this point or when he drove me home but he basically implied that I was a liar and that is the shit that literally makes me wanna go back in time and tell former me to never say yes to a date with this nigga.

He drove me home and I was pretty quiet listening to Ari Lennox (💕) and thinking/processing. He gets to my place and we're talking now that we're parked and tells me that he thought I probably wasn't right about never having sex before. He told me I probably just had sex like 3 years ago and it had been so long that's why I said that and that's why my pussy is so tight.

So, I'm real life hurt. I like to consider myself to be someone who has a good character and I am really big on honesty.

So I asked him why he said that if I told him from jump what it was. He told me that his ex lied a lot and that he just couldn't believe me..

And I know for certain that his assumption was independent of any of my actions. He literally just told me so. He projected his insecurities onto me. But I'm a sensitive ass heaux and that shit still shook me. PBS raised me right. I don't be out here lyin & I don't like when people try to tell me who tf I am.

We pretty much just ended up arguing about the night and he was doing it on purpose because he thinks it's sexy when women are mad. But when I get mad, I get done. If I let enough shit slide and you have the audacity to try and flip my script, I will fucking write you out of it.

Then I looked up at the time and realized I was sitting in this car arguing with nigga for at least 25 minutes. So I was just like: bitch, why are you still here?

I told him straight up that when I got out of that car he could forget about talking to me altogether and he was like: "I'll let you know when I make it home."

I told him he need not bother because apparently I'd finally gained some damn sense. I exited the car. He left. He hit me up when he made it home but I just deleted the app and removed him off of snap because I meant that shit.

TLDR; Went on my first date with a conspiracy theorist I matched with on Bumble and he told me I lied about my lack of sexual history.

[mcneybaq]

Under the cut, you’ll find  ## questions answered about RAMONA ALI.

( how old are they ? )

Ramona is twenty-two years old.

( do they drink ? smoke ? how often ? )

Ramona drinks religiously, almost making it a personal goal to drink at least three times a week. She is also a habitual smoker but is in the midst of trying to cut back. 

( what 3 words describe them ? )

Ramona is outspoken, well-meaning, and bad-tempered. 

( what kind of sense of humor do they have ? )

Ramona’s sense of humor has a dark side to it. She finds being in sticky situations nerve-racking, but hilarious.

( any hidden or obvious talents ? )

Ramona is ridiculously flexible, being that she was on the gymnastics in her junior years.

( what is their occupation ? )

The majority of Ramona’s income comes from being the sole party promoter/club hostess in her family’s clubs in Atlanta.

( where is their favorite place to be ? )

Ramona’s favorite place to be is at her sister, Raine Ali’s, hookah lounge in Atlanta. Hookah brings her a sense of nostalgia that reminds her of her family, and allows her to reminisce on happier times.

( do they have a love interest ? )

Ramona might have her sight set on someone but isn’t emotionally prepared to be in a relationship, being that her last real relationship was almost years ago and it was destructive at that.

( favorite color ? )

Ramona’s favorite color is many shades of red, more specifically, sanguine. 

( favorite drink ? ( can be non alcoholic ) )

Ramona drinks D’usse habitually, with it being her go-to drink. As for non-alcoholic, she’s very fond of Cherry-Gingerale.

( what is their quote/motto ? )

Ramona’s constantly demanding her respect from anyone and everyone with the phrase, “Stop playing with me.”

( someone they look up to ? )

Ramona has no role model, whatsoever. Although, she does admire Raz Ali, her brother, for his great decision making.

( can you name 3 bad traits about them ? )

Ramona is extremely confrontational, manipulative and hot-tempered. 

( what is their favorite food ? )

When Ramona does eat, anything light and savory is her go to. I.E., wings.

( what is their least favorite food ? )

Anything messy, unnecessarily meaty and oily makes Ramona sick to her stomach. I.E., Philly cheesesteaks. 

( how do you consider their fashion ? )

Ramona wears anything to show off her figure, she prides herself on her flat stomach and uses her small size to her advantage. She always finds a way to wear the skimpiest outfits all the while attempting to be appropriate. 

( are they independent or a team player ? )

Ramona is very independent but likes to have people that she can depend on when she feels herself falling short.

( nicknames ? )

Ramona’s nicknames consist of “Mo”, “Mona”, “Mona Lisa”. 

( do they own a pet? what is it ? )

Ramona owns one dog, an Olde English Bulldogge puppy, named “Beezus” after the female character in the children’s novel “Beezus and Ramona”.

( bad habits ? )

Ramona’s worst habit is rolling her eyes, she’s constantly expressing her disdain or annoyance blatantly and will do so almost five times within an hour-long conversation. 

( dream job ? )

Ramona’s dream job is to own her own podcast/radio show, discussing socially controversial topics as well as celebrity gossip.

( what is something they care about the most ? )

It’d be easy to say family or loved ones, but Ramona’s obsessed with polishing her reputation. She never wants people to believe she’s a coward or inferior. 

( what trait do they find unlikable when dealing with significant others ? )

She hates the obsessive, telling you what to wear, checking your phone, fighting over IG comments type of men. She doesn’t think jealousy is attractive, at all. She also is actively turned off by nice guys.

( what are they most terrible at ? )

Ramona fails at being consistent, especially in relationships. 

( is your muse addicted to any substances ? )

She’s not really an alcoholic to the fullest extent, however, she does have some trouble in knowing when to draw the line and when enough is enough. Other than that, no.

( what song and lyric describe your muse's last relationship ? )

Insecure by Fabolous featuring Jeremih. ‘He like I see you liked his pictures, you must be one of his bitches, did you fuck that nigga?’

( what song and lyric describe your muse's love life in general ? )

Love Drugs Sex by A Boogie wit da Hoodie. ‘But I ain’t ready for no love yet. All I ever want is drugs, sex.’

( what song and lyric describes your muse ? )

Suck My D**k by Lil’ Kim. ‘Niggas love a hard bitch one that get up in a nigga’s ass quicker than an enema...I’m loving this shit, queen bitch. What bitch you know thug it like this?’

( any medical problems your muse may have ? )

Ramona hasn’t been officially diagnosed with anything, but she is developing an eating disorder called avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder. She undereats due to a lack of interest in food’s taste, smell or look.

[thehomierobbstark]

Let’s Talk About Sex: Intermission II

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Intermission I Chapter 3

Pairing: Erik Killmonger x Reader [#TeamErikDon’tDateWhiteChicks]

Prompt: Aight, so iOKnoW bout yall but… I got some mad ‘fears’ about sex 😂😂😂. I got so many questions, so many horrible imaginations, so many embarrassing ass scenarios I’ve thought of in my head about what might happen when I finally do the do. Basically, ya girl been thankin (thinking) too much, and I done fucked around and thought up this shit.

A/N: A longggg time ago a lovely anon came in my inbox spitting an idea, and my ass finally got around to making it happen.  It’s a lil modified, but I hope y’all still enjoy it nonetheless.  Thank you anon for your brilliance!!

Warnings: At the bottom 👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿.

This is for all my lil cute ass black gorditas out there rockin back fat, belly rolls and thick ass thighs that touch!!  x Reader is always gon be black, chubby, and sassy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sigh, twirling the forkful of salad around in your fingers as you stare off into space, lost in thought.  Ranch dressing drips off a piece of lettuce onto your tupperware lid, splattering a little onto the table, but you don’t even notice, your mind entirely somewhere else.

“Hello?”

The voice of your best friend, Nichelle, filters through to your brain, and you irritatedly bring your mind back to the present, unhappy to be interrupted.

“Huh?”

“Damn girl! You was zoned tf out! What the hell you thinking about that got your ass stuck like that!?” She interrogates you, her eyes squinted in suspicion.  While you normally wouldn’t have wasted anytime telling her about one of the many sex daydreams you regularly found yourself having, the one between you, Erik, and a certain little razor wasn’t one you were willing to share this time.

This one was your own naughty little secret, made even more special by the fact that this time it was an actual memory rather than a fantasy.

Clearing your throat, you wave her off.

“Nothing girl, just thinking about work,” you lie, popping the salad into your mouth and chewing.

“…Uh huh.” She grunts, not buying it. “All I know is, don’t nobody ever catch me thinking bout work with a smile on my face and biting my lip. You must got some bomb ass benefits girl,” Picking up her own fork she eats a mouthful of pasta, shaking her head at you.

Your nostrils flare and you bring your hand to your mouth to keep food from flying out of it as you snort, laughing from being caught.  You didn’t even realize your face was out here exposing you like that.

“Mind your business, bitch,” you tell her after swallowing, reaching over to grab your tea and take a sip.

“I’m just sayin, if you gone be out here reliving your sexcapades you can at least try not to eyefuck the table while you do it.” She shrugs her shoulders, and you’re grateful this time there wasn’t anything in your mouth because you immediately giggle at her statement.

“Shut the hell up Chelle, damn.” You whisper as your eyes shift around the small outdoor cafe to make sure no one else overheard. “Besides, don’t you have your own man and kinky sex dreams you should be thinking about? Stop being so damn nosy.” You fuss at her, angling your fork before stabbing into her pasta and stealing some.

“Girl I would except that nigga not here” Her head falls back and she grumbles, her face sulking.  “He’s in Georgia at some stupid work ‘thing’, which means I don’t get any dick until next Friday. That’s why I gotta live vicariously through you bitch! Now pleaseee, tell me something, I’m dying over here.”

She gives you a sad puppydog look, poking out her lips at you.

You roll your eyes. “Girl you know that shit don’t work on me.  Why don’t you just FaceTime Brian and tell him you’re horny? Isn’t phone sex y’all’s thing?” You take some more pasta, savoring the delicious Cheesecake Factory takeout.

Blowing a raspberry, she leans her head on her fist.  “We had to stop doing that after he answered the phone with his mom in the car.”

“Wait, WHA-“

“It’s a long story, don’t worry about it. Anyway,” She waves her hand as if waving the cringey memory away. “How have you and Erik been?  I know y’all probably been fucking nonstop since you got your tests back, huh? Ol bowlegged ass,” she eyes you coyly with a knowing smirk that says ‘I know what y’all been doing’.

You chuckle yet again at your hilarious friend, so thankful for her ability to always keep you laughing.

“Actually, we haven’t been fucking, thank you very much. My broke ass lungs made sure of that.”  You tell her the story of how you almost choked and died from seeing Erik’s dick, and when she finally stopped cackling at you she grabbed your hand, patting the back of it.

“Oh you poor, poor bitch,” Her face turned down into a faux look of pity.  “You might as well reserve your burial plot now because from the looks of it your ass not gonna survive him dicking you down.”

You snatch your hand from hers, glaring at her.

“I mean let’s be honest here,” she continues, ignoring you, “your ass talk a lot of shit, so you’re mad trippin if you don’t think he won’t obliterate your walls given the first opportunity.”

You pick up your phone, opening your messages while you let her words go in one ear and out the other. It was bad enough you had to live with the knowledge that the mere sight of seeing Erik naked had you hyperventilating, you didn’t need to think of what other ridiculous responses your body would have once he actually started putting use to it.

She continues roasting you as you click on a new message from Erik, seeing a link to a video attached.  A message accompanies it.

Put in your headphones before you watch.

You fish your earbuds out of your purse, completely ignoring your friend now.  Clicking them into the audio plug, you put the buds in your ears before clicking on the link.

The video starts with a view of Erik sitting at what looks like his home office desk, clad in a red T-shirt and a pair of black sweats.  The top of his face is cut off, but you can tell its him by the signature keloids sprinkled over his arms and the telltale smirk on his face displaying his gold fronts, letting you know he was up to no good.

“Hi baby, I miss you today,” the audio plays, and you hear his smooth voice bleed into your ears, sounding so sensual.  You almost forget that it’s a video and respond back, wanting to talk to him and tell him you miss him too.

“I can’t wait till you get home, but I wanted to show you something first before you got here.”

He pushes himself away from the desk, rolling back in his chair, and you’re able to see more of his lap now that it’s uncovered.  Lifting his shirt, he takes the bottom of it and tucks it between his teeth, giving you a peep of his uncovered chest and the long thin gold chain hanging under his shirt.

Leaning a little bit closer, your eyes focus on his belly button, thinking you see something odd there when he takes both his hands and pushes his sweats down, revealing his gorgeous, thick cock standing at full attention, the head of which stops just below his navel.

Your mouth drops and your eyes grow wide, completely entranced by the view of your man stripping down for you.  You watch as he takes one of his hands and grabs his heavy member, beginning a slow stroke from the base to the tip, twisting his wrist over the head.  

You feel a slow wetness start to leak from your pussy, and you shift your legs in your seat, not wanting it to seep past your panties.  

Erik continues pumping himself, taking in a ragged breath and speaking to you again.

“You see what you got me doing, princess?” He groans as his hand reaches its peak again, picking up the pace as he continues pleasuring himself.  “I can’t wait till you get home so Daddy can teach you how to touch him. I just need your hands on me babygirl,” He sucks in a breath, moaning as his head falls back. “And that mouth. Fuckkk…”

You lick your lips and swallow as spit fills your mouth, desperately wishing you could climb through the screen and into his lap right now.

Your fingers feel the side of your phone, looking for the volume button to turn it up when you hear something behind you.

“DAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNN!!!!!” Nichelle’s loud ass voice scares the shit out of you and you drop your phone, you earbuds snapping unplugged as it clatters to the ground, and the sounds of Erik moaning at top volume fill the outside patio.

You scramble to pick it up, grateful that other than you two and another single patron in the corner, nobody was really around to hear it.  Flipping your phone to silent, you exhale a deep breath before turning your burning gaze to your friend.

“What the hell!! You scared the fuck out of me! Why is your ass behind me anyway?!” you yell at her, your heart still beating out of your chest.

“You were ignoring me hoe! But more importantly, why didn’t you tell me his dick looked like that?” She points back at your phone screen at the paused video.

You press the home button, exiting out of the video player and dropping your phone in your bag. You growl as you start packing your stuff up, dumping your unfinished lunch into your lunch bag.

“I swear Niche, if you were anyone else I’d be cursing your ass out right now, you’re lucky its you.”  

She stops you and pulls you into a hug, one you grumbly accept as she apologizes.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you, I promise, but your face looked so shocked I wanted to see what you were looking at.”

You couldn’t totally be upset about that, given that had it been any other time you’d have probably showed her whatever it was that had your eyes bugging out of your head. Too bad this time it ended up being a home video of Erik.

You shake her off, pushing her away.  “Yeah yeah whatever. I’m going home, I’mma see you later.”  You grab your stuff, leaning over to kiss Nichelle on the cheek before heading out.

“Where you going? You just gonna leave me here?” She calls after you.

“Did you not see the same video I did? I’m going HOME.” You yell back at her over your shoulder, laughing loudly.

“Try not to choke!” She calls after you, cheering you on as you rush yourself to the car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warnings: Baby Smut

[josiebelladonna]

Someone actually got bent out of shape because @daveighmustaine and I write “Injun” in our Joey fics.

I’m sorry, I have to laugh.

Seriously, the more I think about that, the more hilarious that gets. 

First of all, bitch, I’m Native American. My great grandpa was Blackfoot and I have some Crow in me, too, so don’t fuck with me: we kicked the Sioux’s ass and have to deal with tornadoes, the possibility of Yellowstone blowing, and people not knowing where Saskatchewan is.

I’m not finding anything, but I think we were buddies with the Iroquois, too? They beat the Sioux’s ass, too... and they fought the British and the French and even the fucking Mohicans. All three tribes are primarily Canadian so the least you twats can do is pay mine and Joey’s people in loonies and toonies and save on the exchange rate before you get your panties in a bunch. I’ve got enough blood in me that even call myself Josie, his female counterpart.

Second, when I was little, my dad used to be friends with a black man. I can’t remember his name, my memory’s too foggy, but they were pretty close. In fact whenever my dad greeted him, he was always like “what’s up my nigga?” and it made him laugh!

I say that because it leads me to this...

JOEY 👏🏽 ACTUALLY 👏🏽 REFERS 👏🏽 TO 👏🏽 HIMSELF 👏🏽 AS 👏🏽 INJUN

Shit, man, he’s got a solo song called that! And why do you think he wears the headdress during Indians? Why do you think... the older he gets, the more “tobacco store Indian” he looks? and no, Im not exaggerating. You look at any picture of him from the past decade, he looks like he should standing outside of a smoke shop in Utica.

His band has “Chief” in the name. I just—

Besides, the man is literally impudence on two legs and you’re bitching that, what... it’s *kinda* insensitive? Boo-fucking-hoo. Give me a break. Cry me a river and build me a bridge over both Lake Ontario and Jackson Hole ‘cause the three of us can probably drink up your tears after our morning coffee.

This reminds me of those dumb pricks who gripe about RPF. In fact it’s correlated to that. These dumb fucks who whine about how it’s “damaging” or “demeaning” and that the person they’re writing about would be “mortified if they saw it.”

Sure. Some things in fandom need to stay in fandom. Some things you need to keep on places like Wattpad and AO3—the person also had the gall to screenshot my AO3 next to hers and mention my work as if putting me up on a pedestal, like... no. Just, no. NO! This isn’t a competition, and even if it was, I got nothing on her and I don’t like comparing myself to people so why trigger that in me?

And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m not a Twitter stan and the only time I’ll ever defend her is for her rapping skills, but I’m not Bhad Bhabie. I’m not on Wattpad or AO3 or fucking anywhere to start shit. Just write stories and connect with people.

...but I bet you money Joey googles himself when he gets a chance. I know Scott, Charlie, and Frankie do.

Yeah, I don’t think Joey ever foresaw himself being written about in a scandalous manner when he became lead singer of one of the biggest metal bands in the world, who dresses very scandalously himself, in his leopard print, painted-on jeans, low cut shirts that show off his chest and his lower belly, and leather boots that could give Trent Reznor a run for his money.

Oh, yeah, I can totally see him being so fucking self-absorbed that he bitches about it. Oh, yeah, I can totally see him dropping his sweetness and his peaceful nature to turn into a complete and total douche to his fans.

Yeah, I totally love this attitude. It’s so nearsighted that it makes my shit eyesight look decent. It’d be like James Hetfield complaining about people whacking off to pictures of him. Yup... nothin’ ridiculous about that.

And this whole thing just feels like censorship to me. You know, it’s the whole thing about how way too many people are finding even the most innocuous of things offensive these days. You want us to stop writing? To give up and quit using that word because you think it’s inappropriate? Uh, who died and made you president of the world?

A little while ago, I wrote on both Twitter and IG that I just don’t get people who hate on fanworks, and I really don’t, either. Fanfic, and fan art, is a labor of love, even with dark fics like now it’s dark and Stay. And on top of this, we’re all fans. We’re all in this together—so, to anyone reading this right now and you’re getting shit for it, I hear you. In the past, I’ve gotten hate myself to the point of tears, so I feel you. You didn’t deserve it: in fact, none of us did.

But there is hope, though, and I forgot to say this on IG: I’m a member of an honor society called National Society of Leadership and Success, or NSLS. I was nominated by one of my teachers and inducted back in 2014 when I was going to school (I still have my pin!) Every Tuesday and Thursday I went to meetings, and we often watched presentations and shared about ourselves. Typical school club stuff, except we were a chapter of a prestigious nationwide honor society. One day, we watched a presentation in the school cafeteria and the speaker said something that I took to heart because I was dealing with a lot of bullshit then myself. It was, “if you’re not getting haters, you’re not doing anything.”

So, my point is... I... kinda see the good in this? I see the good in hate mail and in passive-aggressive gossipy Wattpad posts asking why there are so many Joey Belladonna fics springing up right now? Reminds me of Marilyn Manson and Fred Durst’s mindset of “any publicity is good publicity, even if it’s bad.” If we didn’t get any of that, that means we’re not doing anything.

So does that make sense? See why I find it hilarious? aside from the fact the post was just fucking awful and I started laughing from the sheer obnoxiousness and arrogance of it. “Influential”? Don’t flatter yourself, OP. If you’re so influential where are you then? Jesus clap-carrying Christ 🙄

All it tells me is we’re doing something right.

Another point: this person tried to claim that I stole Have Your Cake and Eat It from them, because there are only so many titles you can fuck around with before you start seeing similarities. But, God damn, that’s funny. Have Your Cake and Eat It was something I came up while I was watching SNL last year and experiencing some Lars feels. Before then, I hadn’t written fic in over six years, or read any in that time for that matter. And I’m an artist: artists copy from each other all the fucking time. I’m as guilty of that as Van Gogh.

So here’s the deal: unless you can show us your face and prove that you are in fact the shit, you’re not in much of a position to be bashing anyone for anything. I don’t care if she and I write Anthrax fics until the tropes are old hat. If you’re puffing yourself up while bashing another and acting like the other is the shit, and contributing to the horse shit fic writers have to deal with while hiding behind a veil of anonymity like a pussy, YOU can shut the fuck up.

And even if I did take notes from someone’s ideas, I ain’t a thief, and even if I did purposely take someone’s idea, what the hell is fanfic, then? It’s all derivative. I’m not Cassandra Clare, I know the consequences for plagiarism. So if you have a problem with it, you can find the nearest wooden cross and jam it up your prostate. Again, we’re doing something right.