#at least this way i will have a case that works with my current headphones. two sets that i can switch between i guess. lol

[mildmayfoxe]

bro. i completely fucked up my headphones case (stupid mistake. my fault) (my poor beloved headphones) the other day and ordered the newer version of the same thing bc my same ones wouldn’t arrive in time for my trip (leaving thursday) and they were on sale ($38!) (i have off brand bluetooth ear buds) (i’m not spending $100 on headphones sorry) (my cheap ones work just fine) and the new ones came today and the sound quality was absolutely awful. tinny and horrible. and they wanted me to download an APP!! waste of money and time. so disappointing. however i did just find my same ones (they could never let me down) on walmart dot com (for $44. acceptable) and they are supposed to arrive on wednesday. pray for me

[sorensolsikke]

here's some punk diy tips and ideas

[other than crusty pants and battle jacket, although we still love those greatly.]

why should you diy, when you can just find decorated items everywhere, you can ask. what if you are clumsy at painting or anything?

firstly, good questions. we diy so we don't give credit to the big companies who rule the world. we diy to get more independent from the system we dislike. we diy so to save money. to express uniqueness, recognize eachother and be recognized. and especially to have fun and feel cool. diy is not only about clothing, but anything you can set your mind on. of course, one cannot make EVERYTHING for themselves, there isn't enough time and energy. but making at least small steps are already a statement and more than nothing. also, helping small artists by buying their products is also pretty punk.

that being said, i provide you with some tips of mine, all gained from experience:

anything you drew/painted on, you will WANT TO protect. acrylic paint/markers + acrylic paint varnish/transparent nail polish/textile medium are your best friends. read after anything that's new to you.

i highly recommend working with old clothing or thrift shop finds when it comes to textiles, as it is environmentally friendly and you will stay in budget. Anyways, always make sure that the material you use isn't gonna be problematic. for example, if you want to do some patchwork, the material shouldn't decay easily (if it does, it will come off so quickly.). if you want to paint on it, it shouldn't be rugged.

you can not only draw/paint on your canvas shoes, but can also sew, embroidery (just make sure to use a thimble, plus floss instead of thread could make your work more durable), and add beads and trinkets to your shoelaces. in the case of shoes, never use glue (neither hot nor instant glue) – it will come off quickly. for some inspiration, i'll show you my shoes!

(the fake moss is literally unstoppable from falling off or getting dirty. risky idea.)

it's good to carry around water and food!! you don't even have to pay for decorative water bottles and food boxes, as you can draw on glass and plastic just fine with acrylic markers. just don't forget to paint transparent nail polish all over your drawing. in at least two layers. don't be lazy or laid-back. even posca comes off while washing the dishes. and you WANT TO save your reference pictures/final designs, as the case of emergency is likely. but after all, my water bottle is exactly fine after six months, with no accuring problem.

if your current best option to get stickers from is aliexpress or overpriced decor stores, search for local artists and shops on instagram and tiktok, as it may be their most efficent way of getting you to know them. if it seems like you have no chance, you may can still find a print shop with the option of printing on self-adhesive sheets (at least in hungary, those are pretty cheap). and if you want drawings to print out as stickers, you may use your own or –ONLY IF YOU GET PERMISSION– other artist's work. not only good for decorations for like, headphones, but for vandalism too. WAIT WAIT who said that. who said it. not me. no never

(in case that's also impossible, you can create stickers by printing out/drawing a picture, cover it up in transparent adhesive tape, and then put some two-sided adhesive tape on the white side of the pic. it won't be that durable, but it functions.)

if you want to bleach-paint clothing, get some plastic brushes!! any other brush dissolves. draw your design first with chalk!! never forget to put cardboard inside the clothing, and to wash the finished work in a washing machine before you'd put it on. prepare to be patient with the process. and it's not dangerous to touch 5%-9% household bleach, just wash your hands soon after.

if you want your crusty pants to last veryyy long, wax them. look up on youtube jeans waxing.

some more things i made for myself so to give you some inspiration: totebag with pockets, a small crystal holder cabinet, badges, and i decorated some t-shirts, button-ups, an id card case, phonecase, laptop.

theoretically speaking, there is nothing that an individual would be unable to learn how to make, when it comes to diy. you can't imagine how easy it is to bake bread at home. consuming-focused media makes people believe that it's hard to make anything. of course, everyone has to decide about their own priorities, i don't want to convince or change anyone in here. and if you have any questions, send an ask!! i hope i had been helpful.

[wannabehockeygf]

You All Over Me - Auston Matthews

“‘Cause no amount of freedom gets you clean,

I’ve still got You All Over Me.”

Pairing: Auston Matthews x fem! oc Word Count: Currently 8.2k

Pairing: AM34 x Social Media Manager fem!oc

Warnings: alcohol, smut later on

Notes: (***) indicate chapter change, (---) time skip within chapter, or a seperation from a post or messages. Italics at the beginning of the chapter indicate who's 'pov'(not really cuz we're in third person) we're looking at. BOLD LETTERS LIKE THIS during chapters (excluding posts/the first word of the entire book) indicate location. Locations within Toronto will be more specific, outside of Toronto will be vague.

Story will be continued on my wattpad (same handle) and here, but should prob follow my wattpad because I won't announce new chaps here lol.

***

Toronto.

A place of endless opportunity – bright lights everywhere, bustling city streets, and the sinking feeling in one's stomach when realizing each of the 6 million people in the GTA have their own lives.

It's humbling, truly. Sitting on the subway, heading to a destination, one can't help but wonder about the people around them.

Thoughts don't often dwell on it, but that girl with the pink hair and the septum piercing? She just found out her dad is sick. The guy with the navy blue baseball cap? He just got promoted at work.

Sometimes she wondered if people look at her and wonder what her story is. What brought her to that moment, being in the same place as them.

She doesn't know if they do, but it brings her a sense of normalcy. Weirdly enough, it's one of the only things that makes her feel human when in doubt. Everyone is just trying to get by, right?

And sometimes, that can be especially hard - at least in her case right now.

Moving across the country had never been on Blair's radar until about 4 months ago. She had just finished her first year of law school after sustaining a season-ending, and career-ending, hip injury competing in figure skating last year.

As a little kid, she always wanted to play hockey, but her mom pushed figure skating on her, saying it was more 'feminine.' She didn't like it all that much, but it consumed her life so much that when she lost it, she didn't know what to do with herself.

So, when it blew up in her face, she decided to deny it and work towards making her communications bachelor's degree worth something in law school. Problem was, she hated it.

It drove her mental health into a ditch, and by the time she was finished, she was a shell of who she used to be - and who she used to be was broken too.

She didn't want to live like that anymore.

So, she finally broke things off with her long-term boyfriend, which she probably should've done earlier, and left. Left Vancouver behind to start a new life across the country - in Toronto.

Her music boomed in her headphones as she looked up, seeing that they were at the station she needed to get off at. Standing up, walking off the subway, she climbed up the stairs and faced the unfamiliar streets once again.

She had just come back from a job interview and was heading home to her tiny studio apartment in Trinity-Bellwoods. The job, which required navigating the trenches of Toronto public transit, was at Scotiabank Arena - working for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Coming from a fan perspective, she had been a Canucks girl her whole life, growing up in Vancouver. But this position of social media manager paid really well, and she wasn't letting team bias get in the way of putting some weight in her pockets.

Seeing the ice could be a little irking for her, sure, but it's not like she was being put out there with a puck and a stick and nothing else other than a pat on the back. She'd just be responsible for the social media platforms. Can't be that hard, right?

They said they'd get back to her within two weeks, and now the waiting starts.

***

Blair

SCOTIABANK ARENA

Blair shoved her face into the badly drawn map the information desk attendant had given her for directions. It really wasn't helping.

"Right... here?" she mumbled, taking a sharp turn without looking up and bumping straight into a firm chest, dropping the paper.

Startled, she let out a little squeal before stepping back to see who she had just run into. "Sorry!" she said, meeting the gaze of a blue-eyed man.

He smiled brightly at her. "All good," he replied, crouching down to pick up the paper and furrowing his brow at it. "What even is this?"

Blair let out an awkward chuckle, moving a lock of dark brown hair away from her face. "A... map? Sorry, I'm just so turned around here." She paused, swallowing hard. "Do you happen to know where I could find a... Brad Treliving?"

"Sure do," the man said, folding up the paper. He seemed about to give it back to her before he held out his other hand for a handshake. "And you are?"

"Blair Hanson," she replied, shaking his hand firmly. This guy must be the happiest man on earth, holding a full-on goofy grin for the entire interaction.

"Nice to meet you, Blair. I'm Mitch," he remarked, freeing her from the handshake and handing her the paper at last.

"Mitch...?" she questioned. As little as she knew about professional settings, she thought you were supposed to introduce yourself with your full name, which 'Mitch' didn't do, if that's even his name.

Mitch laughed, surveying the skeptical look on Blair's face. "You don't know who I am?"

Who did this guy think he was? Blair blinked a couple of times, then pushed her glasses up her nose. "Should I?"

Mitch chuckled again, clearly amused by her confusion. "How new are you here, exactly?"

"Well," she started, crossing her arms, "Does it matter? Maybe you should stop expecting people to recognize you on sight. I mean, what are you, Mark, like, a fitness trainer or something?"

Mitch furrowed his eyebrows, his friendly smile fading slightly. "It's Mitch," he paused, running a hand through his dirty blond hair. "Mitch Marner. I play for the team."

Oh. Oh. Blair should have known that, shouldn't she? She felt her face burn up as she started to apologize profusely. "I'm so sorry! I'm just... very new," she admitted, her guard wearing down.

Mitch waved it off, his smile returning. "No worries. So, you were looking for Brad, huh? Big day for you?"

"Yeah," Blair said, feeling a bit nervous under his gaze. "I'm starting as the new social media manager."

Mitch's eyes lit up. "Oh, that's awesome! You'll be handling all the behind-the-scenes stuff, right? Making us look good on Instagram and all that?"

"Pretty much," she laughed, starting to feel more at ease. "I'm still figuring out how I'm going to make a bunch of sweaty hockey players look good, though."

Mitch grinned. "Good luck with that. But seriously, welcome aboard. You'll do great." He gestured down the hallway. "Brad's just around the corner, I'll take you."

"Thank you, Mitch. I appreciate it," she said, falling into step beside him.

"No problem," Mitch replied, walking with an easy confidence that made Blair envious. "You'll find that everyone here is pretty welcoming. It can feel like a big family, especially once you get to know the guys."

Blair laughed. "Oh, sure. I'm sure I'll fit right... in." She trailed off, her eyes widening as Mitch pushed open a big double door. She first spotted the man she was looking for, Brad Treliving, standing at the head of a big conference table, along with the entire Maple Leafs roster seated around it.

She swallowed hard, standing frozen in place while everyone's heads turned towards her. Mitch placed a friendly hand on her shoulder, "This her?"

Brad Treliving looked up from the papers he was holding, a welcoming smile spreading across his face. "Yes, it is. Come on in, Blair."

Blair forced her feet to move, taking tentative steps into the room. If she wasn't nervous before, she was now, with every pair of eyes scrutinizing her. She offered a polite smile, trying to hide her nerves. "Um... Hi," she said, approaching Brad and standing beside him. "Is this... are we doing this here?"

Brad chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Yes, Blair. I thought it might be good for you to meet everyone right away. This is the team you'll be working with closely, after all."

She swallowed again, feeling the weight of the moment pressing down on her. "Okay, sure. Hi, everyone."

The players nodded and mumbled their greetings, some offering small smiles. Blair could feel her heart pounding in her chest, but she forced herself to stay calm. This was what she came here for. This was her new beginning.

Brad gestured to a seat at the table, and Blair sat down, her back straight and her hands clasped in her lap. "So, Blair," he began, "We're thrilled to have you on board. Should we start with some introductions?"

She nodded, attempting to steady her breath as she glanced around the table. "Well, I'm Blair, as Mr. Treliving said, um..." She paused, fumbling with her fingers under the table. "I moved here from Vancouver a couple of weeks ago. I went to law school for a bit, and I used to figure skate competitively."

A chuckle came from somewhere across the table, and Blair's gaze shot in that direction. Her eyes met those of a tall, muscular, brown-eyed man as he stifled another laugh. "Figure skating, huh? No offense, but what do you know about hockey?"

Blair forced a polite smile, trying not to show her frustration. "None taken. I've been a Canucks fan my whole life, so, a lot more than you'd think."

A lot taken. It was like she had walked into a room with egos inflated to the max.

"Yeah, okay," he replied, his voice carrying a hint of sarcasm as he adjusted his Maple Leafs branded ball cap. "Nice glasses, by the way."

Blair pushed her glasses up her nose, feeling a little self-conscious at this point, and she was about to respond before another man she didn't recognize spoke up. "Auston, lay off. It's not like she's getting on the ice with us."

Auston. That name rang a bell, she thought. Of course, Auston Matthews. Blair made a mental note to remember the faces and names, but for now, she just needed to get through this. Auston rolled his eyes, leaning back as he replied, "Says the one whose wife is a figure skater."

The other man, with strawberry blond hair, tensed up, gaining his composure before he met Auston's gaze. "And how many Olympic gold medals do you have?"

Auston smirked but didn't respond. The tension in the room was palpable, and Blair could feel her anxiety rising again. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that she needed to stay professional. This was her chance to prove herself, and she wouldn't let an arrogant hockey player get to her.

Brad cleared his throat, bringing the attention back to him. "Alright, let's focus, everyone. Blair is here to help us elevate our social media presence, and I expect all of you to cooperate and make her job easier."

The fact that the general manager was talking to the players like they were literal children made Blair tense up even further. This was going to be a long day.

--- 436 TRINITY-BELLWOODS

Blair's phone rang as she shut the door to her apartment. She fished through her bag and pulled it out, seeing her brother's name, and slid to pick up the FaceTime.

She was met with the face of her baby niece, and it instantly warmed her heart. Sometimes, she thought she regretted choosing this type of life instead of settling down and starting a family, but she always brushed those thoughts away. She wasn't ready to be a mother—being the hot, cool aunt was enough for her.

"Hey, munchkin!" she greeted her niece, her voice softening. "Where's your dad?"

Her niece giggled, the camera shaking as she toddled around. "Da-da!" she called, and Blair heard her brother, Sam's, voice in the background.

"Hey, Blair," he said, taking the phone from his daughter and giving her a friendly smile. "How are you? How's the city?"

The stress of the day slowly dissipated as Blair saw the familiar face that brought her comfort. "Yeah, it's... different. Bigger, for sure, but nothing a little walking around can't fix. How's everything back home?"

Sam laughed, adjusting Blair's niece on his lap. "Same old, same old. Lila just started walking, so that's been fun." His face lit up with pride as he talked about his daughter, and Blair couldn't help but smile. Someday, she hoped she had that too.

"She's getting so big!" Blair said, watching as Lila reached for the phone, her chubby fingers grasping at the screen. "And walking already? Wow."

"Yeah, she's a little terror now," Sam joked, tickling Lila's side and making her squeal with laughter. He turned back to the camera, and his smile slowly got replaced with a frown as he looked at Blair's disheveled state. "We miss you, little sis."

Blair took a deep breath, feeling a wave of homesickness wash over her. "I miss you guys too. It's been a crazy day. I'm just trying to adjust, you know?"

Sam chuckled, attempting to lighten the mood. "Hey, you've dealt with worse, right? Remember when that one coach at nationals—"

"Sam! Don't!" Blair squealed, not wanting to be reminded of that. Figure skating might have been her entire life, but it was also the most traumatizing thing she had ever gone through.

Sam waved it off, returning the conversation to safer waters. "Whatever. But you got through that, right? You can get through anything, Blair. Toronto ain't nothing." He joked, trying to offer her more comfort.

Blair honestly felt bad for people who hadn't experienced having a big brother because they were literally the best. He was her only one, yet his words could always bring a smile to her face. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Sam. I needed that," she replied, smiling back at him.

"Anytime," Sam said, giving Lila a kiss on the forehead. "Hey, if you ever need to talk, you know we're just a phone call away. Don't be a stranger, okay?"

"I won't," Blair promised, feeling a bit lighter. "Give Lila a big hug from me."

"Will do," Sam said, waving as Lila babbled in the background. "Take care, sis."

"You too," Blair said, ending the call and setting her phone down on the coffee table. She took a deep breath, looking around her tiny studio apartment. The walls were still bare, and the only furniture she had was a small bed and a desk. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

A new start. Her new start.

***

Auston

SCOTIABANK ARENA

Auston Matthews was always straightforward with people. He thought that was a good quality, but recently, it seemed quite the opposite. His friends liked him, though, even though they butted heads sometimes. That made him not an asshole, right?

Through some light stalking, Auston had found Blair's Instagram the next day, and was actively scrolling through it, hunched over and everything while in the locker room. He didn't have shame doing it, because they might not have liked each other, but damn she was hot.

It started innocently, perhaps curious, when he searched her name at the gym the night before and saw that Mitch had already followed her. He even looked around before he tapped on it to make sure no one was looking, even though he was the only one there, and he'd been hooked ever since.

It was surprising that he wasn't drooling currently, as he was elbow-deep in her feed fifteen minutes before warmups. Mitch, who had been trying to hype the whole team up for their season home opener, frowned when he saw Auston didn't even glance up from his phone.

"Yo, Matthews!" Mitch exclaimed, trying to get Auston's attention. Auston glanced up, trying to find the source of the noise. His eyes scanned the room until they met Mitch's, whose eyes narrowed at Auston. "What?" Auston said, his tone annoyed.

"What?" Mitch mimicked Auston, mocking him as he rolled his eyes, "We have a game in fifteen minutes and you're glued to your phone. What's so interesting, anyway?"

Auston put his phone down on the bench as he started to put a glove on. "Nothing. I mean, nothing important. It can wait." He stated.

William Nylander, another one of their teammates, took the opportunity to snatch Auston's phone on the bench. He thought it would be an innocent prank to get him to flinch, but his face lit up when he saw it was still unlocked.

"Aw, you guys gotta see this," William said, quickly standing up and holding the phone out of Auston's reach.

Auston lunged for his phone, but with his gloves on, it was a futile effort. "Willy, fuck off and give it back." he snapped, his annoyance evident.

William grinned mischievously and darted away, holding the phone high. "What are you so worried about, Auston? Is it your secret mistress?" he joked, drawing the attention of a few other players in the locker room.

Mitch stepped forward, grinning at William's antics. "Let's see what's got our boy so hooked," he said, grabbing the phone from William's hand before Auston could protest.

The room fell silent as the players gathered around Mitch. Auston could only watch in horror as his teammates stared at Blair's Instagram feed. A few chuckles broke out, and Auston's face flushed with embarrassment.

"Man, she's cute," William remarked, nudging Auston playfully as he handed his phone back. "No wonder you've been glued to your phone."

Auston felt his frustration bubbling within him as he finally snatched the phone from William's hand. "I know she's cute, that's why I was looking at it, genius. No other reason."

"Whatever you say, buddy," Mitch said, rolling his eyes as he put his own gloves on, "No harm in trying anything, right? I mean, no rules are saying that we can't–"

Auston sat up from the bench quickly in his defense. "I'm not–" He paused, looking around to see that everyone's eyes were on him which made him decide to sit back down, "I'm not going to try anything, okay? I can do way better than some figure skater media manager or whatever."

The locker room fell into an awkward silence after Auston's defensive outburst. Mitch exchanged a glance with William before deciding to break the tension.

"Alright, let's get our heads in the game," Mitch said, clapping his hands to grab everyone's attention. "We have a season opener to win."

Auston kept his head down, focusing on putting on the rest of his gear. The other players started to shift their attention back to the game, the momentary distraction fading away. Auston could feel the weight of their looks, though, and he knew he'd have to find a way to get everyone to forget about it.

And he knew how to do that, precisely. He had to push away the subject – Blair – as much as possible, and that's exactly what he was going to do.

Tagged Location: Toronto, Ontario

austonmatthews: Thanks for the awesome home opener 💙🤍💙 @/morganrielly @/marner_93

♥ Liked by marner_93, williamnylander, and 73297 others.

Comments: marner_93: 🔥🐐💯

mapleleafs: Leafs nation has the PASSION

random: Auston one chance please

matthewknies: Arizona boys doing what they do best ↳ williamnylander: ice hockey...? ↳↳matthewknies: shhhhh

random: cup this ssn!? ↳ random: 1967

---

BAR DEM

"Another round?" William cheered loudly, urging his teammates on as he flipped his head of sweaty blond hair back. He was drunk – quite literally the entire team was as they celebrated their season opener win, and had what seemed like too many rounds of shots in the upscale bar downtown. Another one couldn't hurt, right?

Auston nodded towards William, approaching the bartender and placing his forearm on the sticky bartop, his credit card placed deliberately between his fingers. He waved over the young woman manning the bar until she noticed him, brushing her hair over her shoulder as she stood infront of him. "What can I get ya?"

Auston smirked, his eyes scanning the bartender head to toe. "Another round of shots for the best puck players in the league," he said, his words slightly slurring together at the end. He gave the bartender a wink before handing over his credit card.

Auston's inner dialogue, although absolutely plastered, was screaming at him to not do something he'd regret, but he decided to ignore it. The bartender flushed as she quickly pulled out the shot glasses from under the bar, then bent over slightly to grab the team's choice of tequila from the wall of alcohol. Auston's eyes, unfortunately, betrayed him at the moment but eventually found hers again. "What's your name, baby?"

The bartender's cheeks turned a light shade of pink as she glanced up at Auston, her movements slowing as she poured the shots. "It's Natalie," she replied, avoiding his gaze momentarily before meeting his eyes again with a shy smile.

Auston grinned, unapologetically eye-fucking the bartender once again. "Nice to meet you, Natalie. I'm Auston."

"I know who you are," she said, her voice barely audible over the noise of the bar. Auston raised a brow, leaning closer to Natalie, "Really? Then who am I?"

Natalie's blush deepened as she filled the last shot glass. "You're Auston Matthews. Everyone here knows who you are," she replied, her voice steady despite her shyness.

Auston adjusted his ball cap, which he was wearing backward before he focused on Natalie again. Even while wasted, he couldn't lie – he loved the attention. "Well, it's nice to know I'm famous," he joked, his words still slurred. "When do you get off tonight?"

Natalie hesitated, glancing around to see if anyone was watching her too closely. She met Auston's gaze again, her blush deepening. "Couple of hours," she said quietly, trying to maintain a professional demeanor despite her flustered state.

Auston grinned wider, sensing her interest. "Maybe you can join us for a drink later," He said, his gaze flickering to her lips for a split second, "We could... get to know each other."

Natalie bit her lip before rolling her eyes, "We'll see," She said, swiping Auston's card through the machine and turning the tablet around for his signature. He frowned slightly, scribbling on the screen before Natalie slid the tray of shots toward him, "Have a good night, Mr. Matthews."

Auston opened his mouth to reply to her, but before he could, Mitch yelled from their booth and waved Auston over. "Auston, stop hitting on the bartender and bring us those shots, would you?"

Auston rolled his eyes at Mitch's interruption but grabbed the tray of shots and made his way back to their booth. The rest of the team cheered as he approached, slapping him on the back and grabbing their glasses.

"I had this grreatt idea, Auston," Mitch started, right after he downed the shot the second he got it, "You've got the hots for our new media manager right? Well... I have her number!" He slurred, the alcohol clearly hitting him as much as anybody else.

"Okay?" Auston replied without missing a beat. He had an uncanny ability of being able to look like he didn't care about things, even if he did, and this was one of those times. "Why? And... how does this affect me?"

"I'm a nice guy, I make it my personal duty to get to know everyone on staff," Mitch leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper despite the loud music and chatter around them, "And, how does this affect you? Come on, you were looking at her pictures with more passion than you play our game, Tone."

Auston's jaw tightened as he sat back on one of the worn-out leather sofas, "I don't want anything to do with that prissy 'businesswoman'" He scoffed, using his fingers to make mock quotations.

Mitch rolled his eyes, talking louder this time. "Well, here's your one chance then. I've got Blair's number right here," he said, pulling out his phone and waving it teasingly in front of Auston.

Auston hesitated for a moment before snatching the phone out of Mitch's hand, his fingers fumbling on his own phone screen as he copied the number down. Yeah, okay, he might've absolutely detested the thought of actually being with someone like Blair, but casual, no-strings affairs were his specialty.

After he was done, he slipped his phone back into his pocket and handed Mitch's back. "There. Now fuck off and let's have fun, yeah?" He said, to which Mitch gave him a smirk back.

***

Blair

PRIVATE MESSAGES 2:43 AM

???: I got your number babe Cnt fuckin believe he gotb to yous before meeee Gna tell his wife lmaoooo Im sooooo fuckshng wastped rnight nkowww I took thnis grl hime Can't stolp thisnkinf aboust u thouglh Need a girl likes u in my lifne

8:01 AM

Blair: What? I think you have the wrong number And, word of advice, never drunk text someone ever again.

436 TRINITY-BELLWOODS

Blair woke up to her alarm. She squinted at the bright screen and saw several messages from an unknown number. Rubbing her eyes, she tried to make sense of the jumbled text, feeling a mix of confusion and annoyance. Who would send something like this at such an ungodly hour?

Setting her phone back on her nightstand, Blair groaned and rolled out of bed. The small studio apartment felt even tinier in the morning light, but she had no time to dwell on that. She had her first full day at work ahead of her, and she was determined to make a good impression despite the rocky start with the team. Or, atleast, with a certain person.

She had been in Toronto for about a month now, and it felt as if she hadn't gotten a good nights sleep since. The sooner she got more comfortable with her new place, the sooner she'd be comfortable in her new life.

She quickly showered, dressed in a professional yet comfortable outfit, and made herself a quick breakfast. Her phone buzzed again, and she reluctantly picked it up.

PRIVATE MESSAGES 8:32 AM

???: Oh fuck My bad Right number tho This is Auston Matthews

Blair: Did you even read what you texted me? Completely inappropriate. Who gave you my number?

Fivehead: Look, I'm sorry. Was pretty wasted last night. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable Or whatever Read 8:34 AM

Fivehead: Mitch did. He was also pretty drunk

Blair: Asshole.

Fivehead: What?

Blair: What?

Fivehead: Me or him?

Blair: Him.

Fivehead: Oh, so I'm not an asshole?

Blair: No, you too.

Fivehead: You can't just call me an asshole

Blair: Who's stopping me?

Fivehead: I could get you fired.

Blair: You wouldn't do that. I thought you said you needed a girl like me in your life?

Fivehead: Better stop talking before I actually do it.

Blair: Make me.

Auston's typing bubble came up for a few moments, then stopped, but his reply came a couple of minutes later.

Fivehead: Whatever you say Cya in a few, princess Or would you prefer "your majesty" ? Read 8:42 AM

--- SCOTIABANK ARENA

Blair hunched forward in her office chair, the clacking of keyboards around her becoming more irritating by the second. She was told she would have her own office, but today, since renovations were going on, the general manager sent another woman to share the space with Blair.

The red-headed woman who went by the name of Jess was nice enough, but she was so focused that it drove Blair nuts. I mean, seriously, in the three hours they'd been at work, she hadn't stopped typing - other than when she would take sips of her strong-smelling herbal tea.

That's why when someone knocked on the door, Blair immediately shot up, thankful for a sound other than that goddamn keyboard. She quickly scurried to the door, passing by Jess who was unbothered by the distraction.

Blair opened the door to see Auston Matthews standing there, leaning against the doorframe with a smug grin on his face. She fought the urge to roll her eyes as she took a step back, crossing her arms, "Can I help you?"

Auston's grin widened as he took a step into the office, closer to Blair. "Thought I'd come say hi. You know, our last interaction wasn't all that great."

Blair raised an eyebrow, her arms still crossed. "And texting me at 2 am drunk off your ass, trying to fuck me is what you consider 'not all that great?'" She replied, using her fingers to make mock quotations.

Auston's grin faltered for a moment, but he quickly recovered, adopting a more serious expression. "Okay, I get it. I was an asshole, and I'm sorry. Can we start over?"

Blair rolled her eyes, "I don't think I can after that string of texts," She said, walking forward to back Auston out into the hallway. She shut the door halfway before continuing, "Do you need anything? Or are you just here to distract me."

Auston chuckled and rolled his eyes back. "Yeah, actually. We need you downstairs. Something about an on-ice interview for TikTok?"

"Are you serious? I have to get on the ice? I don't even have skates." Blair remarked, slightly panicked. Auston, oblivious to the discomfort he had caused, motioned for her to follow him. "We're a hockey team. We have extra skates for everyone, come on."

Blair reluctantly followed Auston downstairs to the ice. There, she found no other players or people at all, just a selfie stick with a company phone lying by it on a bench. She turned to Auston, quite practically fuming at this point, "Small budget, huh? And I have to interview you?" She said, to which he nodded, "You didn't mention that! You said-"

"These should fit, ma'am." An equipment person interrupted, holding out a pair of white hockey skates.

Blair forced a smile as she took them and thanked the employee before turning back to Auston, "You really should work on your communication skills," she muttered, sitting down on a bench to put the skates on.

Auston smirked, leaning against the wall. "You're a fast learner. You'll be fine."

Blair rolled her eyes, trying to focus on lacing the skates, but she very quickly realized that these were very different to figure skates. She swallowed hard, not looking up as she struggled to figure out a way to make sure they stayed on.

Seeing her struggle, Auston sighed and walked over. "Let me help," he said, kneeling down in front of her.

"I don't need your help." Blair muttered, quickly angling herself away from where Auston had knelt down.

Auston chuckled softly. "You're not going to get far if you can't tie them properly," he said, his tone surprisingly gentle. Blair huffed, realizing he was right but still not wanting to be in this situation in the first place. Reluctantly, she turned back towards him, allowing him to help.

Auston expertly laced the skates, his fingers moving with practiced ease. Blair watched him silently, feeling a mix of frustration and just straight up hatred. Once he finished, he stood up and offered her a hand. "Ready to go?" he asked, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

Blair looked at his hand, and then back up at him before completely disregarding his help and getting up on her own, although it wasn't easy in the new bulky skates.

"Always so independent, huh, princess?" Auston said, trying to hold back his laughter as Blair wobbled trying to walk out to the ice.

Blair managed to steady herself, her annoyance bubbling just beneath the surface. "Whatever, let's just get this over with."

***

Auston

YYZ - TORONTO PEARSON INTL. AIRPORT

Roadies - an inevitable event for a hockey player.

Usually, the Leafs schedule tried to make it so that they'd visit multiple cities during a roadie, getting it all over with and rewarding them with a long homestand, which is the way most of the players liked it. Today, though, they had a one-off trip down to Raleigh, just to fly back the same day.

Auston had decided to engross himself with his teammates today and pretend to be humble, flying on the team plane instead of his own private jet. He trudged on, a backpack slung over his shoulder and his dark hair sticking out of the beanie he was wearing.

Since he was running late, no one saw him at the terminal or even expected him to fly with them, so when he walked on everyone turned their heads. Mitch even shot to his feet, tilted his head in confusion, then finally waved him over.

Auston took a deep breath, hoping they would just talk normally, about the game or something, but braced himself for the inevitable other conversation as he walked down the aisle.

Mitch grinned widely as Auston approached, clearly eager to tease him. "Look who decided to slum it with the rest of us," he said, playfully nudging Auston's shoulder as he took a seat next to him.

Auston chuckled, shoving his backpack into the overhead bin and plopping down in the seat. "Yeah, yeah, I figured I'd give you guys the pleasure of my company for once."

Mitch's grin widened as he leaned back in his seat, rolling his eyes. "Pleasure, huh? More like a rare sighting of the famous Auston Matthews. What's next, you actually sitting with us on the bus?"

Auston rolled his eyes, adjusting his beanie. "Don't push it, Marner."

William leaned over the aisle, holding out his phone with a grin as wide as Mitch's. "This you?" He said, gesturing to the screen. Auston furrowed a brow as he leaned closer, but when he saw the Maple Leafs TikTok and a nicely manicured hand in frame along with Auston himself, he immediately looked the other way.

Auston groaned inwardly, realizing that the infamous TikTok interview had made its rounds. "Yeah, that's me," he said, pretending to not care as he slouched in his seat. "What's your point?"

William chuckled, pulling his phone back. "What's my point? Dude, are those hockey boots she's wearing? How'd you get Blair to do that?"

"Crazy thing, Willy, normal people don't carry skates around with them," Auston replied, his tone slightly annoyed, "She had to borrow them from equipment. No big deal."

William raised his hands in mock surrender, "Alright, don't kill me, but damn, I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared of her."

Auston scoffed, scratching his cheek. "Scared of her? What's there to be scared of, Willy?" He remarked with a passion. Auston, if asked, would describe Blair as many things, but 'scary' was not one of them."

William leaned back in his seat, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that she seems to have no problem putting you in your place?" he teased, drumming his fingers on the tray table, "I mean, seriously, who ever tries to put you in your place? I don't know why we haven't started calling you Mr. Ego yet."

Auston shook his head defensively, "First of all, ouch, and second of all, there's a difference between 'putting me in my place' and just being annoying and bitchy," He sat up slightly, his posture straightening, "And which one is she, again?"

William chuckled, clearly enjoying Auston's discomfort. He folded his arms casually. "Come on, Auston. You've got to admit, she's got you wrapped around her finger."

Auston scowled, his annoyance growing. "I am not wrapped around anyone's finger, Willy. She's just...holy shit." He suddenly said, catching a glimpse of Mitch's phone beside him.

Tagged Location: Toronto, Ontario

blairhanson_: last warm day ever :(

♥ Liked by han.samwich, marner_93, and 1072 others.

Comments:

random: holy

han.samwich: Come back to van pls, it may be rainy but atleast it doesn't snow

↳ blairhanson_: It's also a complete ripoff of a city I fear

↳↳han.samwich: Fair point, Canucks better though

↳↳↳ marner_93: Ouch

↳↳↳↳ han.samwich: MITCH MARNER ????

random: what a hottie, age?

williamnylander: make me look this good on the ice please

↳ blairhanson_: I will try <3

---

"Hmm?" Mitch said, straightening his head up from his phone, seemingly inconspicuous to Auston's reaction.

"Give that to me." Auston muttered, ripping the phone from Mitch's hand and holding it up to his own face. It was a simple Instagram post from Blair, nothing overly special, but Auston found himself unable to rip his eyes off of it.

It only took a few moments of Auston gawking at Mitch's phone before everyone burst into laughter, including other members of the team around them. "See something you like?" Mitch teased.

Auston felt his face heat up, but he quickly regained his composure, throwing the phone back at Mitch. "Whatever, man. Just checking her out. Nothing wrong with that."

Mitch caught his phone, grinning ear to ear. "Sure, Tone, sure. You're just checking her out for work purposes, right?"

Auston rolled his eyes again, slouching further into his seat. "You guys got me fucked up if you think I've never seen you checking out a pretty girl before."

"Yeah, but I think her eyes are up there," William remarked, looking over at Mitch's phone where the photo was still pulled up. He looked at Auston, then at the photo, then back before smiling. "You think she's pretty?"

"Fuck, I..." Auston facepalmed, running his hands down his face. He couldn't believe he was in a situation where his teammates were bugging him about a girl, at their big age. "She's not bad to look at, okay? Can we drop it?"

The laughter from his teammates finally began to die down as everyone took their seats. "Okay, we'll stop... for now." Mitch conceded.

---

RALEIGH, NORTH CAROLINA

The Leafs took a tight victory against the Hurricanes that night in Raleigh, with a final score of 5-4 in overtime and a surprising Auston Matthews hat trick.

Fans in the arena booed him as he left the ice, but he didn't care. Drenched in sweat, he trudged into the visiting locker room with a big smile on his face, his glove out to fist bump anyone who wanted.

Auston pulled his jersey off, and left in only his compression shirt and chest protector was given the belt by last game's MVP, Matthew Knies. "Good shit, Tone, let's keep it going back home," Matt said, giving Auston a firm pat on the back.

With a smile just as wide, Auston sat in his stall, belt thrown over his shoulder and the three pucks from his hat trick in his other hand as he posed for a photo. William, as the second star of the game, posed with him, putting an arm around Auston.

Later that night, on the team bus to the airport, Auston leaned his head against the window, watching the city lights blur by as he tried not to fall asleep. All he wanted to do at the moment was collapse on his bed and have his dog cuddle up next to him, but he'd have to wait a few more hours.

As his eyelids got heavier and heavier, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he shook the sleep out of him as he fished it out and brought it to his face.

PRIVATE MESSAGES 10:07 PM

Princess: No fucking way.

Auston: ?

Princess: Do I really have to post that?

Auston: What are you talking about?

Princess: *insert MVP photo*

Auston: Wow! Who are those handsome guys?

Princess: Is there one without the egoist on the right?

Auston: Sure But he wasn't the MVP Was he, princess? See the game?

Princess: I did. Can I have his number?

Auston: Willy's? Why?

Princess: He's cute.

Auston: You're cute.

Princess: What?

Auston: You can read, right? Plus I know you're just asking that to make me jealous

Princess: Not everyone's obsessed with you.

Auston: Sure. See you tomorrow Read: 10:12 PM ***

Blair TORONTO TRANSIT COMMISION - DUNDAS ST. WEST at OSSINGTON AVE

“I’m just wondering why he has your personal Instagram. I mean, isn’t he basically your client?” Sam asked, holding his phone up to his face while he sipped a frozen margarita. Blair’s entire family had decided to go on an impromptu trip to Cancun, and when she realized her work schedule interfered heavily she was devastated. So, instead of tan lines and sun-bleached hair, she was doomed to a gloomy November in Toronto. 

Blair was looking up at the directional signs as she tried to navigate her way through the busy subway station while her brother was on FaceTime. The 8 a.m. rush was definitely a real thing, and being in a new city turned her around even further, “You know he’s a human too, right?” Blair remarked, her eyes darting wildly around at the multitude of directions she could go.

Blair heard Sam chuckle through the one Airpod she was wearing, “Sure, but commenting on your posts? Doesn’t he have a wife?” He replied, his words barely audible over the rush of the station.

Blair sighed, glancing down at her phone for a moment before finding the right platform and walking towards it, “Yes, Mitch has a wife, but I don’t see the point. He’s trying to be nice, and he’s a lot nicer than some of the other assholes there.”

"Okay, okay," Sam relented with a chuckle. "But what about the other players? Are they really that bad?”

Blair adjusted her bag as she stepped onto the train, glancing around for a seat before giving up and holding onto one of the poles. “Most of them are fine. I’m talking about Mr. Rocket Richard every year.” She replied, her tone annoyed.

 Sam's voice crackled through the earbud in her ear, his curiosity unabated. “Who? Oh, Auston Matthews?” He asked with a chuckle, “I thought he seemed like a pretty nice guy, through interviews I’ve seen anyway.”

“Yeah, well, the dude puts on a real good media face. I would know.” Blair scoffed, shuffling in her purse to find a pack of gum, “I mean, seriously, I wish he could be genuinely nice for one moment in his sad-”

Suddenly, Blair felt a hand tug at her sleeve, and she quickly turned on the balls of her feet to, most likely, tell whoever it is who just touched her to fuck off. Blair was undoubtedly more bark than bite, but being skittish by nature didn’t help that fact. “Hey, how about you-” She started, quieting down as she met the eyes of the man who looked up at her from his seat.

The blond cracked a smile, then laughed. And what an addicting laugh it was because Blair’s heart immediately skipped a beat at the sound and found herself smiling back. “Rough morning?” William asked, sliding his bag off the seat beside him.

Blair felt a flush rise to her cheeks, partly from the surprise and partly from embarrassment at her earlier irritation. She quickly composed herself, sliding into the now-open seat next to William Nylander. "Yeah, you could say that," she replied with a small smile, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "What are you doing here?"

Sam’s voice came through suddenly. “Blair? What’s happening? Who is that?” He questioned, which caused Blair to not hear whatever William said next. “Sam, I gotta go,” Blair mumbled, her fingers fumbling against her phone for the hang-up button. She looked back at the blue-eyed man, leaning slightly closer to him, “Sorry, what was that?”

William laughed, once again, which Blair simply could not get enough of. “I always take the subway to practice. I like to blend in, plus, beats dealing with traffic.” He repeated as the train began to move.

Blair found herself more intrigued by William than she expected. She wasn’t actually going to try to get to know him unless it was to purposefully get on Auston’s nerves, but she immediately saw this as an opportunity to make a friend, and maybe get some actual action later on. “You never get noticed?” She questioned.

William shrugged as he scratched his cheek, which was already too stubbly for his liking. “Nah, not really,” He started, surveying Blair as she crossed her legs, “Who was that?” 

Blair quickly dropped her phone into her bag, not wanting any further distraction. “Oh, my brother. He was just… curious about how the job is going.” She said, knowing that it wasn’t the full truth but wanting to move on from the topic.

Unfortunately, William didn’t budge. “Ohhh,” He chuckled in realization, “You told him about Tone?”

Blair shifted uncomfortably in her seat at the question. She knew that they were friends and she couldn’t reveal much about her very strong feelings about Auston without offending William, so she offered something simple. “Oh, yeah. He’s been… difficult to work with.”

William snorted, outstretching his arm so it rested on top of the seat Blair was sitting on. “You can just say he’s an ass, no judgment.” He said, casually.

Blair’s eyes widened at William's straightforward comment. She hadn't expected him to be so blunt about Auston, especially considering they were teammates. Despite her own frustrations with Auston, she didn't want to badmouth him to someone who knew him personally.

"Well, yeah," Blair replied carefully, choosing her words. "He can be... challenging at times."

William chuckled, shaking his head. "Challenging, huh? That's one way to put it. Auston has a way of rubbing people the wrong way."

Blair nodded, relieved that William seemed to understand without her having to elaborate further. She shuffled in her bag for her water bottle, finding it and unscrewing the cap. "Yeah, you could say that. But he's not all bad. I think he means well... sometimes."

William raised an eyebrow, his expression curious. "You think so? I think he’s just into you.”

Blair was in the middle of taking a sip of water as William spoke, and when the words hit her, she choked on it, a small amount of it coming out of her nose as she tried to catch her breath. 

“Woah, Blair, you okay?” William questioned, sitting up and placing a firm hand on her back. People around them in the subway stared as Blair wiped the wetness off her nose with her sleeve.

Blair coughed and cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure after choking on her water. William's concern was evident as he patted her back gently. She straightened up, angling her body towards William as she furrowed her eyebrows. “What do you mean he’s into me?” She said through gritted teeth.

William pulled his hand back, realizing his comment had caught Blair off guard. He glanced around at the other passengers on the subway, who were surreptitiously watching the exchange with curiosity.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you," William said softly, his voice tinged with concern. "I just… Nevermind.”

The crease inbetween Blair’s eyebrows deepened as she leaned into William further, “Nevermind? You can’t just say that and say ‘nevermind’” She remarked, trying to keep her composure

William, once again laughed like he always did when he was uncomfortable and put his hands up in a mock surrender. “Hey, Bro code, I can’t tell you anything else.”

Blair stared at William, her mind racing with questions. She hadn't expected him to suggest that Auston might have interest in her, whether that be sexual or romantic or some other way - It was a notion that caught her completely off guard, and she struggled to process it.

"Bro code?" Blair repeated, her voice incredulous. "What does that even mean?"

William chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his neck. "Look, I probably shouldn't have said anything. It's just... Auston can be hard to read sometimes, but I've seen the way he acts around you."

Blair frowned, crossing her arms defensively. "And what exactly does that mean?"

William hesitated, glancing around at the other passengers who were still discreetly watching their conversation. Outstretching his arm once again, he looked forward at the wall as he responded. “Okay, well, he looks at your pictures.”

Blair's mind raced as she processed William's words. Auston looking at her pictures? She hadn't even considered the possibility that he might view her differently than their professional interactions suggested.

"He looks at my pictures?" Blair repeated, her voice a mix of surprise and skepticism.

William nodded slowly, his expression serious. "Yeah. I mean, I've caught him a few times scrolling through your Instagram,” He laughed, the words keeping flowing without him noticing, “Like the other day, on the way to Raleigh, I was talking to him and Mitchy was scrolling his phone and saw your post. Auston grabbed that phone so fast, it was like-”

He abruptly stopped, swallowing hard as he turned toward Blair with a realization that he definitely overshared. “I… that didn’t happen. I just made it all up. April… fools?” He tried to lie, shrugging jokingly.

Blair stared at William, wide-eyed with her jaw dropped for a few moments before she took a breath, composing herself. “It’s November, Will,” She said, nudging him, “What the fuck? Auston Matthews? Really?” She said, more to herself than to William, but it was audible.

“Blair, please don’t tell…” William started, reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder, steadying her. Right then, the train stopped at a station, and Blair abruptly shot up, William’s arm falling limply to his side. “I gotta go.” She murmured, quickly stepping off at the nearest door before William could get another word out. 

As Blair stepped off the subway platform, she felt a rush of conflicting emotions swirling inside her. William's unexpected revelation about Auston had caught her completely off guard, leaving her reeling with disbelief and confusion.

She walked briskly through the bustling station, one she didn’t know at all, at that, her mind racing as she tried to make sense of what William had said. Auston Matthews, looking at her pictures? Could it really be true? And if so, what did it mean?

Blair shook her head, trying to push aside the thoughts that threatened to overwhelm her. It didn’t matter. Auston Matthews was the most rude, full of himself, selfish man and she would be damned if she let herself-

And then, she felt her phone buzz. As she kept her pace, walking in who-knows-what direction, she pulled it out of her purse, and it felt like her eyes were about to pop out of her head at the notification.

New Follower: austonmatthews

***

SCOTIABANK ARENA

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Auston demanded, his hands gripping the smooth, polished leather of the chair's armrests. He took a deep breath, the scent of the office's faint cologne and clean air mingling in his nose as he exhaled. Meeting the eyes of his general manager, he added, "Sorry, language."

"Look, Auston," Brad began, his tone measured, "We're not asking you to do anything outrageous."

Auston furrowed his eyebrows, his glare piercing straight into Brad's soul. "Last time I checked, I'm an adult and I can be involved with anyone I want to. Surely you can't actually ask me to do this, right?"

Brad placed his hands on the mahogany desk, the rich grain reflecting the dim light of the office. He met Auston's intense gaze with equal resolve. "Actually, we can. This is an important event for our sponsors, and it's a 'bring your significant other' type of thing. We can't have you show up alone and hit on every breathing human woman there."

Auston gritted his teeth, feeling his frustration bubbling like molten lava ready to erupt. He leaned back in the chair, crossing his arms defensively, the leather creaking under his weight. "So, what, you want me to find someone to bring along as arm candy for the night? Just to make you and the sponsors happy?"

Brad sighed, his expression weary as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I know this isn't your idea of fun, but it's important for the team and our image."

Auston scoffed, his gaze darting around the room as if searching for an escape route. "What makes you think that? Am I just some piece of meat?"

Brad sighed again, the sound heavy with exasperation. He picked up his phone, which had been sitting face-down on his desk, and scrolled for a few seconds before turning it around to show Auston. It was a video of him and a bartender from their post-season opener night out, sloppily making out outside of the bar.

Auston blinked, glaring at the video posted on Twitter by a fan. "Fucking hell, why did no one tell me that existed?" His cheeks burned with embarrassment, the heat spreading up to his ears. The truth was that he regretted that night, but no one knew that but him.

"You have really good publicists, Auston. Most of it is deleted; this is just something they haven't gotten to yet," Brad replied, putting his phone back down with a heavy thud. "Do you see what I mean, though? We can't have something like that surface after such an important event."

Auston stared at Brad, a storm of frustration and resignation swirling in his eyes. The video on Brad's phone was a stark reminder of the consequences of his actions, even those moments he thought were private. He rubbed his temples, the pressure building like a headache.

"Fine," Auston finally relented, his tone begrudging. "But I'm not promising anything. This is just for the team's sake, not because I actually want to be there."

Brad nodded, his expression softening slightly at Auston's reluctant agreement. "I understand, Auston. Just find someone who can handle the spotlight and won't cause any drama."

Auston rolled his eyes, leaning back further in the chair and crossing his arms tighter. "Right. Because that's so easy to find."

Brad chuckled, though the tension in the room remained thick as fog. "You're Auston Matthews. I'm sure you'll manage."

With a dismissive wave of his hand, Auston stood up from his chair. "Yeah, yeah. I'll figure it out." He turned and left Brad's office, the door clicking shut behind him with a finality that matched his mood. Pulling out his phone, he scrolled through his contacts, contemplating who he could ask to accompany him to the event. As he turned a corner in the hallway, his eyes still on his phone, disaster struck.

Out of nowhere, hot coffee splashed over Auston, soaking his shirt and causing him to yelp in surprise. He heard a squeak and then a thud as his phone hit the floor. "Shit, sorry, I didn't see you... there."

Blair looked up at Auston, her eyes wide with a mixture of bewilderment and anger. "What the fuck, Auston, watch where you're going?" she exclaimed, her voice echoing in the empty hallway.

Auston grimaced, his eyes unintentionally drawn to the lacy red bra now visible beneath her coffee-stained white blouse. He didn't say anything else, only glanced around to make sure no one else was watching before opening the door to a random closet and pulling them both inside.

Inside the cramped, dark closet, Blair immediately yanked her arm free from Auston's grip, glaring at him with a mix of confusion and frustration. "What the hell are we doing in here?"

Auston glanced around their tiny, dimly lit surroundings, the smell of cleaning supplies and dust filling his nostrils. "Look down, Blair," he hissed.

She followed his instruction, looking down at her stained blouse and realizing her bra was completely visible. "Oh fuck, holy shit!" she exclaimed, her voice too loud for comfort.

Auston glanced at the door, then back at Blair, his discomfort clear. And even though he tried to resist, the sight of Blair’s wet shirt clinging to her curves did nothing less than make him adjust himself awkwardly. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? It was an accident. Do you have like, a jacket or something in your bag?"

"Close your eyes!" she squealed, feeling his gaze on her chest. "And, no, of course I don't today."

Auston squeezed his eyes shut, turning his head away to give Blair some semblance of privacy in the tiny, dark closet. He could hear her rummaging through her bag, cursing under her breath. "Seriously, Blair, I'm sorry," Auston said, his voice muffled as he spoke through clenched teeth. "I didn't mean to—"

"Save it," Blair snapped, finding a tissue in her bag and trying to dab at the stain, which did little to help. "Just my luck. Of all people to bump into—"

Suddenly, Auston put a finger to Blair's lips, stopping her from talking as he heard a noise in the hallway. "Shh, shut up for a second." He hissed, listening intently.

"Auston?" Mitch called, his voice getting closer. He crouched down to pick up Auston's phone from the floor, recognizing it from the distinctive case. He figured Auston must be around somewhere if he had dropped his phone.

Blair's breath hitched as Auston's finger rested against her lips. Her irritation was still bubbling just beneath the surface, but she kept silent, listening to the footsteps approaching the closet door. Auston kept his eyes squeezed shut, clearly aware of her presence as well.

Auston finally spoke, his whisper barely audible. "Ok, you've gotta have something to cover up with, right? Maybe—"

"Give me your hoodie." Blair said suddenly, so casually that Auston did a double take. "What?" he echoed, quietly.

"Your hoodie," Blair insisted, her tone firm. "Unless you want me walking around like this."

Auston blinked, his eyes now open despite the darkness of the closet. He didn't want that, eyes on Blair and her see-through shirt even though he had no right to say so. "I'm not—I'm not wearing anything underneath it," he tried to reason.

Blair's glare intensified. "Auston, I don't care. Just give me it," she hissed, tugging at his sleeve.

Auston hesitated for a moment, realizing the predicament he was in. He couldn't exactly walk around shirtless without drawing attention, but leaving Blair in her current state wasn't an option either. With a resigned sigh, he began to pull off his hoodie, the fabric rustling in the confined space. He handed it to her, trying to avoid making eye contact. "Here," Auston said, his voice gruff and his eyes still closed. "Just make it quick."

Blair took the hoodie, her frustration still simmering but appreciating the gesture nonetheless. She turned her back to him, slipping off her stained blouse and quickly pulling on Auston's hoodie. The fabric was warm, still wet from the coffee stain, and besides smelling like it, smelled faintly of his cologne, a detail she tried to ignore as she adjusted the sleeves.

"Auston?" Mitch called out again, his footsteps echoing in the hallway. Auston knew that Mitch wouldn't leave until he found him, and that made their predicament even worse. "Alright, Blair, just think," Auston hissed, "We've gotta figure something out. He's not going to leave."

Blair, now clad in Auston's hoodie, took a deep breath, trying to steady her racing thoughts. They were in a tight spot, literally and figuratively, and the urgency of their situation was growing by the second. She crossed her arms, looking up at him, "Well, go out there then."

"Yeah, right," Auston chuckled quietly, waving a hand as if it was a joke, but when he met Blair's gaze he knew she was serious. "You can't be serious, right?"

Blair stared back at Auston with a determined expression. "Dead serious. I need to get out of here unnoticed, Mitch is not leaving until he finds you, and the longer we stay in here, the worse it looks."

Auston sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "But you're... you're in my hoodie, Blair. If I walk out there shirtless, people will talk."

Blair rolled her eyes, though there was a hint of amusement in her voice. "Let them talk. It's not like they haven't seen you shirtless before," She paused, shuddering from the now cold stain on her shirt underneath. "What, you'd rather me go out there wearing your clothes?"

"No, of course not, I just-" Auston started, but he was cut off as Blair swiftly opened the door a crack big enough for him, hiding herself behind it, and pushing him out into the hallway before shutting the door again.

Auston stumbled slightly as Blair pushed him out into the hallway, his bare chest exposed to the cool air. Mitch quickly turned around from the noise, raising an eyebrow as he glared at the shirtless Auston that had just appeared. "Uh, hey, man, where did you come from? And why do you have no shirt on?"

Auston stood awkwardly in the hallway, his bare chest feeling uncomfortably exposed. Mitch's incredulous stare didn't help the situation either. "Uh, long story," Auston muttered, trying to maintain some semblance of composure. "Just... spilled coffee and went to clean up."

Mitch's eyes narrowed, his skepticism evident. He crouched down, picking up the now-empty Starbucks cup from the ground. "This one? I didn't know you were one for sugar cookie oat lattes."

Auston glanced at the cup Mitch held, trying to formulate a response that wouldn't raise more suspicion. "Yeah, well, I was in the mood for something different," he replied vaguely, shifting uncomfortably under Mitch's scrutiny.

Mitch raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying Auston's explanation. "Right. Well, you dropped your phone." He said, stretching out his arm to hand Auston his phone back.

Auston took his phone from Mitch, offering a tight-lipped smile. "Thanks, Mitch. I've been looking for it" He tucked the phone into his pocket, glancing down the hallway as if considering his next move.

Mitch crossed his arms, still eyeing Auston suspiciously. "You sure you're okay, man? You seem... off."

Auston shrugged nonchalantly, trying to play it cool despite the uncomfortable situation. "Yeah, just one of those days, you know?"

Mitch nodded slowly, clearly not convinced but deciding not to press further. "Alright, well, see you around, I guess."

Auston's eyes widened as he saw Mitch take a step in the direction of the closet. "Mitch!" he blurted out, "Let's go get a coffee, yeah?" he suggested awkwardly, nodding his head in the opposite direction. "Spilled mine anyway."

Mitch raised an eyebrow, clearly still suspicious, but he decided to go along with Auston's suggestion. "Alright, sure. Let's go," he replied, turning away from the closet and heading down the hallway with Auston.

As they walked, Auston kept glancing over his shoulder, hoping that Blair made it out without anyone seeing her.

to be continued!

[lu-dao-writes]

— Kairos

noun: kai•ros: the perfect, delicate, crucial moment; the fleeting rightness of time and place that creates the opportune atmosphere for action, words, or movement.

warning(s) depictions of anxiety, stress, overthinking, and mentions of financial difficulties. Also maybe some grammar mistakes.

It was an overcasted day.

The building, although massive, lacked liveliness.

It wasn’t because a lack of students, oh no. It just… It was dull looking. Basic and aged.

But it’s a university nonetheless. A university that Lucien was fortunate enough to get into.

The student was forcing each foot in front of themself, chanting assurance in their brain, and ignoring the bodies that passed by them, or any they accidentally made eye contact with.

It took everything in them to not completely disassociate or succumb to an anxiety attack while heading to the administration office and receiving the necessary paperwork. They made sure to try and listen as information was being given, making sure to not ask the woman to repeat herself too much, and used the notes app on their phone just in case they forgot.

When the student finally left they fled to the courtyard and sat on a lonely bench, the cornflower paint chipped and the wood a bit cracked.

One breath in.

Hold it for four.

One breath out.

Out for four.

Wash, rinse, and repeat till they felt at least somewhat normal again.

They fix their headphones and flip around through their music, dark brown eyes watching young adults either rush to their lectures or meander with their friends or alone.

They soon study the map of Olympeius and murmur to themself about the next thing to do.

“It’s probably best to figure out where our lectures will be that way I’m not lost like a damn fool when it comes time to my first official day..”

They look around themself and purse their lips. “Nah… I’ll wait till there’s not so many people in the halls…”

Lucien isn’t clueless. Ever since they stepped foot into this city and university, they’ve seen the people walking around it.

Fast, vibrant cars, name brand clothing and accessories, black platinum cards (or flashes of green or pale blue paper), and finally, the attitude of others and how they carry themselves.

Lucien didn’t grow up rich and knew the taste of stress from financial problems, and the bitter feeling of someone constantly taking their money when they probably don’t even need it.

But anyways.

Lucien knew that they’d better keep their head down and try to avoid getting in some peoples way.

Otherwise they just might be eaten alive.

But they try to not think too negatively. Especially when they’re in a delicate headspace currently.

“We’ll be okay… Just stay in your lane and do your work. Don’t wanna disappoint anyone…”

‘I wasn’t bullied too badly in high school, maybe I’ll be okay.’

‘But I came from a simple high school. This place is different.’

‘What if I get caught up in something? Will I get help?’

‘What if I become some rich asshole’s servant?’

‘Will the bullying be like how it is on tv?’

‘Should I take self defense classes? Hell, nah, I definitely don’t got money for that, nor the motivation.’

‘Ugh, what about that bill I still need to pay?’

‘God, I have to find a new therapist too.’

‘So much to do and-.’

“Excuse me? Are you okay?”

It was dull and gray outside. They like it like that, it usually meant rain.

But now… The sun has peaked out from the shade of clouds and licked at their skin.

They blink and shake their head, catching their headphones as it slips back slightly, and there stands a proper looking young man with pretty eyes and an even prettier face.

Brown meets azure, and they nearly choke on air.

“I-.. Yeah..! Sorry, I was lost in thought!” Lucien quickly explained.

The dapper fellow smiles with relief and stands up straight, his hands behind his back. “That’s good to hear. I was quite concerned for a moment! Are you perhaps new?”

A gentle bob of their head and they smile sheepishly at him. “Is it that obvious?”

The man gives a lighthearted chuckle. “Hmm, I wouldn’t say that, but I haven’t seen you before. You just gave it away.”

“Fair,” Lucien chuckles, rubbing their neck, their eyes moving from his eyes and down to his mouth before looking at his attire.

Tawny skin with dusty pink undertones, silken brown hair in a little braid that rests on his shoulder, a few strands fallen in his face, making him look soft but still elegant. He’s got a clear face, plump shiny lips, a cute nose, and expressive eyes.

Blue eyes aren’t something they find interesting, but on him? They’re beautiful.

Fancy black shoes, slacks, and button up, and a purple vest that hugs his torso.

It makes them wary for a moment once they take in his all too neat and perfect appearance, but…

He seems sweet.

“Oh, I’m Lucien, by the way,” they greet.

“I’m Jericho. Jericho Ichabod. But everyone calls me Crowe!”

His teeth are straight and white, and behind him the sun blooms brighter, and Lucien isn’t sure what exactly is blinding them more.

[angie-01040]

Okay, guys, in my desperate need for Moonvale I started looking for similar games and I came across this game called "An Elmwood Trail". At first, I didn't hope for much, but it turns out the story is pretty good and it has some plot twists. It reminded me of Duskwood in a way🤔. I'm telling you a bit about it in case you want to check it out.

A private etective named ADAM is basically working on a investigation to find a MISSING GIRL called Zoey. As the episodes go by, we find out that everything is much more complicated than it seems. It has currently only 2 episodes but they're quite long, I was surprised (the second one came out maybe a week ago or something so now you can play them both in one go, you're welcome).

I plan on winning you over by saying there are a lot of cool CLUES you have to try and find out and you basically work from Adam's phone, so it definitely makes it realistic despite the fact that the characters are not played by real actors, but trust me it's really good. Plus, there are kind of HACKERS involved👀...

If you want to try and check it out, it's a free app available on Play Store (I think it's only available in English, but I trust our bilingualism💅 so it shouldn't be a big problem). Oh, and they also recommend to play it with headphones and so do I (it's really good and it helps with the clues too).

My Duskwood people, you probably already know the why of my captions and I dearly hope I convinced you at least a little bit. And of course if you want a bestie to scream at while you are playing it, then (please) write to me🤭 ;).

[thescentofrainonstone]

It's the voice. It's what He says YOU and only YOU directly into your ears.

Or "fanfics, audios and self esteem building"

Let me explain.

There's an addendum to be had on the matter of where we go for escapism, when it's stories or fanfics that then become books if that experience of disappointment in current life, frustration and longing is shared enough (like in the case of twilight and fifth shades).

I seem the only one vocally noticing when one writes a self insert is because of their need ultimately to feel special, chosen by the character for whatever reason is desirable to them (usually tall, dark, handsome, immortal or thereabout and wealthy but not ostentatiously because money exists as preventative from problems).

But what hit me recently, and admitedly late, relates to audio. And the baldur's gate 3 people who fell hook line and sinker for Astarion might probably back me up on this because from what I understand, as someone who hasn't played and doesn't even know the game but got still hit by the way the pale elf got into the zeitgeist (at least of nerdy people whl play d&d old fashionably around a table monthly) is that most of the heavy lifting and heart throbbing is due to the work of Astarion's voice actor Neil Newbon.

Now, audio is a peculiar thing, go check out GoneWildAudio on Reddit and see for yourself the quite literal mind🦆it can be to have someone, speaking in your ear, addressing YOU and then go convince your brain that is *not* an actual human referring, adoring, and talking to YOU.

First: audio recordings have been around a little over 150 years. So in a way you'd think we haven't evolved to understand the difference between a recording and someone there who really whispers in your own ear.

But then again, film shocked the first time they saw the locomotive but nowadays no one would dream what's in their TV is actually part of their surroundings. And to that I argue: audio has no frame. Nothing physically breaks the illusion like the screen and its separation from your actual surroundings.

Audio doesn't have that. Put on headphones, close your eyes and with a good quality equipment (or binaural) it's freaky what audio can give the impression to your brain that's going on.

Now personal vulnerability moment: years ago I went into a rabbit hole that led me to the work of a certain GWA Voice Artist. I was writing a paper and supposedly "researching and studying" like a good observer of the human condition when I suddenly found myself nothing short of addicted to sound in the form of their very unique specific voice. to the point I took it upon myself to try and understand what kind of ton of bricks hit a performer when they share something seemingly personal and vulnerable... Via audio. Which as said above, doesn't have a defined frame that separates it from how our brains differentiate everything else that affects any of our other senses in reality. Let's just say that I realised the experience of someone whose voice presented male is vastly different from someone like me whose voice was coded femme. And that's because cishet men don't know how to respectfully interact with the subject of their porn. At least that's what I saw in my brief but intense experience as a virtual sex worker, basically.

But beside the point: voice and sound create such a good illusion because of how many more human facets come through with timbre, every breath intake, every exhale, all those imperfection that communicate "human".

Now here's where it gets tricky: there is an agreement on the swoon-worthiness of words spoken to YOU about YOU in Your ear. How "unique, amazing, exceptional, beyond whatever he dared to imagine You are, how You affect his entire world and way to see at every human after you who doesn't hold a candle to your being". Which reflects in the popularity of audio and I suspect justifies the success of Astarion beyond the video game world like, to my knowledge, no character had breached before.

But.

What struck me is one specific effect Audio has on people, and I mean beyond the physical effect of the rightfully horniness. I refer to:

self-confidence.

Please consider this an invitation to confirm or deny, but after spending days, listening to a voice telling you how amazing, and special, and sexy you are, how crazy you drive him/her/them and how they only have eyes for you, don't you start to walk a little bit taller? Head a little bit higher? Hips a little bit swayer?

And this is to say: I don't think most people have the ability to do that for themselves, to write themselves into self inserts and yet being able to praise themselves like they clearly yearn to. And audio then becomes I guess like you're masturbating with someone else's hand voice?

Btw: again kudos to fanfic writers in the Astarion realm because at least they are a step ahead the last fandom I checked and if not praising their self insert enough (ever for me, but maybe I'm just a praise slut) they definitely spend more time in the pale elf's head than I ever witnessed in the last twenty or so years I've read (and occasionally written but I will forever deny under torture) Fanfiction

In this air, if you are looking to disconnect from reality with amazing heartfelt smut go check our @again-please and @fangswbenefits ❤️❤️❤️

[soft--dragon]

Some Things Never Change

SPOILERS FOR THE ROTTMNT MOVIE!!!

Leo and Casey are such a good duo, I love them ^^

ALL PLATONIC, PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Word Count: 1,642

Warnings: None

This is a SFW tickle fic, if you don’t like that then don’t read :)

After spending years in a Krang infested apocalypse, Casey was having to adjust to living a much calmer life. The turtles were more than happy to let him stay with them, but April suggested it may be better for Casey to stay with her and her mother. It would at least give him some time to rehabilitate into normal society and April could teach him about the present timeline. 

Though hesitant, Casey ended up taking up the teenage girl’s offer, and to his surprise, he quite enjoyed the surface world. Sure, sometimes it could be loud, chaotic and overwhelming, but once Donnie made him some noise cancelling headphones as a “Welcome-To-Your-New-Future” present, he quite enjoyed exploring the surface in the comfort of music. All background noise was filtered out, and he was free to roam the hectic streets of New York city, anxieties settled.

Though, as nice as it was to not be fighting every two seconds for his life, Casey still felt the need to train and remain strong in case of any future attacks. Sure the Krang leader was gone, but who knows how long it would be before he found a way back from the prison dimension? Uncle Draxum was working out a way to destroy the key permanently, but until then, there was still a threat of battle. 

So, instead of signing up for a gym membership with money he simply did not have currently - his luck of finding a job was about as good as April’s ability to hold one - he used the training room the turtles had set up in the abandoned subway. The gear there was durable, and no one would give him an odd look for swinging a hockey stick at a punching dummy and doing martial arts moves that were way too brutal to simply disarm a person. 

Hey, it was either do or die in the future, and Casey would prefer living thank you very much.   

Casey breathed out as he finished the attack, brushing loose strands out of his eyes with the rest pulled back in a man bun for training. (April had been incredibly excited to teach him different ways of styling his ebony hair now that he had time to wash and condition it.) While preparing for another series of movements, Casey suddenly yelped when something ghosted over the back of his neck. He whipped around, a hand clapping over his neck protectively. Leo stood mere feet from him, looking far too pleased with himself.

Casey made a garbled noise at the sight of his friend, exclaiming in alarm. “Leo? What the- how long have you been standing there?” 

Leo flexed an eye ridge up with a smug grin, pleased he’d gone unnoticed by the teenager. “Long enough to know you could probably take Raph down if you wanted to. You gotta teach me those moves, Jones, I didn’t know you could fight like that.” 

Now over the initial surprise of Leo’s appearance, Casey gave a small laugh, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I learnt them from you actually, in the future that is.”

God, you could hear Leo’s ego getting bigger.

“I taught you?!” The blue coded turtle’s eyes widened and an excited grin hiked up his lips. “Oh, my future self was so badass! And talk about an ironic turn of events eh? The teacher taught the student only for the student to become the teacher to the teacher.”

Casey blinked owlishly, an exasperated yet amused look taking over his face. “I’ve spent too much time around you, I understood all of that.”

Leo barked a laugh, crossing his arms smugly. “You idolised me in the future, Case, only fair you know my unique way of speaking.”

“Yeah, ‘unique’ is certainly a word for it,” Casey mumbled, turning back to the punching dummy he had been mercilessly beating up. 

Leo gasped in a faux offence, pointing an accusatory finger at the teenage boy. “Are you making fun of me?”

“What? No, whatever would make you think that?” 

Leo rolled his eyes at the blatantly obvious sarcasm. “Careful Casey, your Donatello is showing.”

“Better Donatello than Leonardo.”

“Hey! I’m way cooler than my twin, I'll have you know. Don’t play favourites… unless it’s me.” 

Casey snorted. While he was much more used to an older, serious Leonardo, he couldn’t deny this version of his sensei was able to match his energy and riff off of him easily. It was refreshing, being able to joke around with the blue turtle without the fear of being heard by the enemy. Though the freedom to mess around did make him distracted an awful lot more.

Casey rolled his shoulders out, preparing to attack the dummy again. “Was there a reason you actually came in here? Or did you just want to mess with me?” 

“Well, messing with you is pretty fun, so if you’re offering to be my cure for boredom, I’ll gladly take it.”

Once more, there was a soft sensation skittering over the back of Casey’s neck, causing his shoulders to leap up to his ears and his palm clamped back over the area. 

He gave Leo a sharp side eye. “Oi! Quit that.”

“Why? Are you ticklish?”

The sudden comment made the hairs on the back of Casey’s neck rise, swinging around to fully face Leo who was grinning knowingly. Oh. Suddenly this wasn’t a safe space anymore.

“What? N-No, I’m not.” Yup, way to go Jones, that was real convincing.

“Aw, you sure?” Leo was moving forwards, hands outstretched and wiggling his fingers tauntingly. The warm flush in Casey’s face was building quickly from the playful action. 

“Sensei- Leo-” Training forgotten, Casey stumbled backwards, his own hands raising in defence towards the blue masked turtle.

“Oh ho ho, lookie here, someone is going red.”

“St-Stay away!”

“What happened to ‘I’m not ticklish’, huh?”

“I’m not!”

“Then you won’t mind if I test that claim?”

Casey was running before the sentence was finished. Clumsily, he sprinted past Leo and through the hallway into the abandoned subway, tripping over himself despite his usual agility. The butterflies in his stomach were making his limbs feel weak, though his chest was warm and bubbly. 

“Leheheo!” He gasped, giggles spilling into his plea without him realising. “Goho ahahway!”

He was running for a few more seconds before realising there were no footsteps behind him. Skidding to a stop, Casey looked back and to his surprise, Leo was nowhere in sight. Casey wasn’t sure why he felt disappointed. 

He spun in a slow circle, eyes on the roof of the subway station for any sign of a blue bandana. There was none in sight. Casey’s shoulders slumped slightly, his mirthful eyes being replaced for something sombre. It made sense he supposed, Leo was just messing around and teasing him, though he thought the teenager might follow through. Whenever Leonardo threatened to tickle him, he chased him around the base and hid until Casey thought he was safe, only to be tackled to the ground and wrecked by the older turtle when he least expected it. 

…Hang on.

He used to hide until Casey stopped running-

“SURPRISE JONES!”

Arms suddenly encircled around his waist and brought him to the ground with a scream, his fight or flight nature going ballistic for a moment before he caught sight of the green arms holding him. His head swung back to see Leo grinning widely at him, back pinned to the turtle’s plastron. Leo barked a laugh, squeezing the boy to him for a moment before letting off the pressure.

“I’m shocked Case, honestly thought you would’ve seen that coming.”

Casey spluttered, hands coming up to grip Leo’s arms and staring at him in bewilderment. “I-I didn’t think- I thought you wouldn’t-”

“What? You really think I’d threaten to tickle ya and not follow through? Damn, my future self has really let me down then.”

Casey didn’t get the chance to reply before fingers were worming into his hoodie, targeting the softness of his sides that were wildly ticklish. He yelped loudly and immediately slumped into the teenager’s grasp, gripping onto Leo’s arms as he kicked out frantically. “LEHEHEheheheo!” He shrieked. 

“Oh wow! Someone is very sensitive indeed!” Leo snickered, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh this hard.”

Casey wriggled in Leo’s lap, trying desperately to squirm out of his arms but Leo simply scooped him back up and slipped a hand down to scratch around his stomach. “Uh uh uh, you can’t be this ticklish and expect me to just let you go Casey, that’s not how this works.”

“Leheheo dohohohon’t!” squealed Casey, his boots scuffling into the ground in an attempt to sit up.

Leo snickered. “Oi, whatcha doin’? Trying to dig a hole over there? You’ve already dug one by letting the information slip that you’re ticklish, Jones.”

The mention of the dreaded 'T' word only caused Casey’s ears to burn brighter, the red flush on his face contrasting his dark hair brightly. “Stohohop teheheasing!”

Leo raised an eyeridge in a playfully taunting fashion. “Stop teasing? I’m just making conversation, Casey, why are you laughing so hard?”

“Yohohou knohohow whihihiy!”

“I’m afraid I don’t. You see, you claimed you weren’t ticklish and yet you’re laughing so hard over me wiggling my fingers? So if you’re not ticklish, then what on earth is happening here?”

Casey smacked his arm out of flustered annoyance, giggling borderline hysterically. “Ahahalright! Alright! I’m tihihicklish Leheheo! Ihihi lihihihied!”

Leo gave a very overdramatic, shakespeare-would-be-proud, exaggerated gasp and stared at his student in mock horror. “You lied to me? How dare you Casey Jones Junior! Your punishment shall be severe!”

Leo’s fingers were then clawing at Casey’s ribs, and the turtle swore that both the surface world and the Hidden City heard the scream the teenager let out. 

[somany-fandoms-solittle-time]

“What’s so Special About the Moon?”

Jamil Viper x MC(insert character Mac)

Ch. 1 – (Ch. 2) – Ch. 3 – Ch. 4 – Next – Previous

Holy FUCK seasonal depression has been hitting early this year and it’s been taking foreverrrrr to finish this chapter, type it up, and edit it!!! I’ve more or less got a good idea of where the last two chapters are headed, but all I’ve written are the first and last paragraphs if I’m being completely honest. ON THE OTHER HANDDDDD, my therapist recommended a nonfiction book about writing that I’ve put on hold at the library mom mom works at (le *gasp* Author Lore). But n e way… It was a bit of a challenge trying to write a tad more into Jamil’s perspective without completely saying the quiet part out loud. He’s constantly contradicting himself because of his childhood trauma so I added my own trauma onto my oc as a lil ~Treat~ to myself. I experimented a little bit with the separate aspecs of Jamil, but I’m not entirely sure how well I pulled it off. Feel free to leave a comment or any advice over what you thought or how I can improve! Except anything to do with Mac. Mac is basically just me if I was seeped in more trauma and I had developed my skills more…

NOTE: IF YOU GET TRIGGERED OVER DESCRIPTIONS OR DEPICTIONS OF DISSOCIATION, MILD SELF HARM, DEPRESSIVE SPIRALS OR ANYTHING OF THE LIKE SKIP THIS CHAPTER/STORY AND GO CUDDLE UP WITH SOMETHING A LITTLE LIGHTER (no shame y’all. We all have those days where all we can handle is Fluff and/or Smut without all the extra heavy feelings.)

True to word, Mac had practically dragged Adeuce and Jack, along with a ragtag group of other NRC students, apparently “following orders” to finish the cleaning process. Kalim had also insisted that they could still use the laundry room even though Jamil was taking the rest of the day off—which meant all he could do was stew in his room while going over his prior conversations and figure out the best way to ignore how much it affected him.

But just because he was (stubbornly) ignoring running into the Perfect again doesn’t mean he wouldn’t listen in. Jamil knew the dorm’s infrastructure before it was even built! Every keyhole and secret passage way was at his disposal.

On quiet feet, and motivated by a raging headache, the dark-skinned Vice Warden slipped through the halls and walkways of Scarabia. He made sure to have a pair of wireless headphones resting around his neck (to slip on for a believable excuse). They were currently off, so he could keep his ears open to any disturbances, but his right hand hovered nearby just in case.

Mentally, Jamil took note of the heat rising with the desert sun. MC was smart enough (and willing) to start early in the morning. Even with how drowsy xey were, barely dressed and pathetically trying to make the numerous piles of laundry look presentable. They were an idiot. And apparently an observant, suffocatingly kind, filter-less, crass, overbearing Auntie of an idiot as well. So much like Kalim… Uncomfortably close to Kalim’s personality but more matured. Understanding (as much as he hated to admit it).

“So stupid,” Jamil whispered under his breath with a frown. Even still, the long track combined with swirling heat only fueled his practiced, calculating mind. This would be the least opportune moment to evaluate his observations over all the nonsense that Mac had been saying over the course he’d ‘known’ them… He was FAR too worked up in his room to think properly, but now his brain foolishly circled back to early that morning in-time with his silent steps.

. . . . . . .

Before the magicless (legal adult) freshman made their stiff exit, back when Jamil was analyzing each and every twitching muscle in xeir clenched jaw, Jamil was attempting to fire back with a quip. There would be no way for the two to be able to continue working in such tense atmosphere MC had created. He was about to tell them off or make up an excuse, when his more childish monologue betrayed his consciousness.

Everything they said was so unfair. So blisteringly close to the truth, but blunt and lacking the usual grace, empathy or even a teasing lilt. Mac’s usual tired, dragged out fond sarcasm, like an older sibling trying to teach the youngsters without sounding too parental, was long gone. In it’s place was the same forceful, pinprick power int their eyes he’d seen through the cloud of Blot. Somehow, between hallway conversations and Jamil threatening their life, the Ramshackle Perfect had found a crack in his wall and stared him down.

Dishonest. He’d called Jamil out for being dishonest as if it wasn’t just the ingrained second-nature of a resentful servant, born and breed to stalk any threats to the boy that owned his life. His falsehoods had only ever hurt fools and ruffians who vied for Kalim’s life. No one else minded his shifting tongue or blank and burned-out eyes. No one bothered. This was what he was made for.

“Just because you’re not hiding your bitter, knee-jerk reaction from an unfair world doesn’t mean you aren’t still hiding away and lying about your more vulnerable emotions.”

They had no right—no FUCKING RIGHT—to say any of that to him. What could they know about being someone’s shadow? About being stuck shadowing the overbearing rays of the sun? Bound by the pull, the gravity of the two boys birth, Jamil would forever be orbiting just outside of what he can never have. Denied the attention, the affection, the true praise for all the great accomplishes he had to forefeet to a spoiled, airhead brat! Everything he’d been denied since he was just a child…

And yet, there was some part of himself that couldn’t lie about how they were right. How xey might know, at least to some extent, what he had been through. The tiredness, the pitiful, the soulless look deep in his eyes that would fade in and out of reality hinted to just how cruel of a life Mac must’ve had (or at least what they remembered of it) lived. Did he know what it was like to be used? To be looked past? Could their life had led to perpetual people pleasing or hiding xemself for survival or constantly worrying about what would happen if xey ever upset anyone… ever made a mistake?

Could they be so similar? Even with how happy and carefree and Kalim-like they were during the day?

They were infuriating… Oh, Great Merciful Seven, he had never felt so invigorated. It was frightening. It was exciting.It couldn’t go any farther than this moment or else all that he’s worked for would simply disappear.

An eight year old Jamil, shoved deep down in the vipers den, was screaming and flailing his arms to be noticed. To be recognized by such ad honest and trusting and supportive figure like--

Jamil’s mind had already been jumping through extra hoops than his regular mental gymnastics in order to process and combat the Perfect’s comments. It was making him feel far too vulnerable. Like a mothering hen, Mac couldn’t keep out of anyone's business. Even when they were so clearly already run ragged and probably on the verge of snapping.

It was almost ironic, how overly worried and caring and just… persistent they were when it came to the students of NRC. Especially towards the ones that had gone out of their way to hurt xem. How could it be possible that this nosy stranger, that came out of nowhere, could simultaneously be so cautious and caring towards someone they obviously… didn’t deserve their kindness. Jamil had received constant reassurance from the paradoxical force of nature that is the Ramshackle Perfect.

It was so unfair. How Jamil was this dark & twisted, manipulative asshole who’s had to pretend to be the perfect, caring servant. AND MAC! That moron got to be the enamored exasperated force that everyone flocked towards without having any real skill? Xey had even less to their name than Ruggie and yet the charisma and favor that only Kalim could harness. Was that how the two became friends? Some secret power those two perfected at their bullshit “Music Club” in order to blind the rest of us peasants to bend to their will!!! (Of course not Jamil, neither are smart or cruel enough to pull something like that).

Even on days like this, when the Perfect was snappy and apathetic, they were 100x more genuinely thoughtful and kind. What gave him the right to be so bitchy and always know better? MC couldn’t possibly be that much older…

. . . . . . .

Just as Jamil was getting frustrated with trying to rearrange his thoughts, he heard Mac directing the small herd of students.

“Okay, Sebek and Jack! You two can carry the most—”

“What about the Great Grim Hench human! Myah!”

“—and have pretty decent control over that floaty spell—”

“Human! I have already informed you—”

“Can it, you unfriendly Green Giant! Once more, the two linebacker fuckers (seriously how are y’all 16 and NOT on steroids) and Grim, I guess, will grab the thick curtains and the runner rugs. Ruggie could run—heh—run down to Sam’s to grab whatever fancy thread and whatnot to fix the throws. That pile of blankets aaaaaaaaand that miscellaneous crap also needs so mending, right Rugs?”

“Shye shee shee, sure thing Boss! An’ who’s tab will our order be account’d for?”

“Ughh, if Sam won’t let you put it directly on Crowley’s personal account then tell him it’s for the school…. It’s technically not a lie so~”

“Gotcha!” There was already a sound of shuffling and light small talk, but the easy banter and direction between the two made Jamil restless. When had MC and Leona’s hyena lackey become so close? When did they start working together so seamlessly?

“OK… Silver. You up for a quick fetch quest?” Silver’s soft yet serious reply also shocked the Vice Warden. Why were the Diasomnia students even HERE? Jamil had thought Silver was visiting Kalim?!

“Of course. Fa—Lila had instructed Sebek and I to assist you in any way we can. You’re a valuable friend of his after all.”

“Kid, chill. Lils and I gossip and rock out in club together. We don’t have a Blood Oath or something,” Mac huffed out a small, tired laugh, “But thanks for the help anyhow! All I need you to do is run over to Heartslybul and check if Riddle would be willing to check over the china and silverware in Ramshackle. The main dinning room is just left of the Kitchen, down the hall a ways. The door should be unlocked (not that that would stop any of you crazy ass wizards) but if not, just let the Ghosts know you’re helping out. I let them know we’ll be busy for the next coupla months.”

“And how are you planning to get our tea-sized tyrant to do all that?” the red-headed Freshman asshole asked his friend with a snarky tone.

“Ace…!”

“Knock it off Ace!”

“You’re not funny man.”

A cacophony of voices followed in argument before the someone let out a snort, “… It’s a little funny.”

“Guys, just ignore him. Anyway, Silver, on the long table has all the bit and bobs of dish sets I was able to scavenge so far. There’s also a few boxes of stuff crammed in the hallway closet, but I haven’t had time to check if they’re in good shape or not.”

“Trey-Senpai said something about convincing House Warden Riddle to lend you an extra tea set. Who knows how many we’ve got stored away in the dorm, I mean, we’ve used a different set with every Birthday and Unbirthday!” Mac’s Freshman blue guard supplied with earnest.

“Oh la la~ Deuce, could you go with Silver and track Trey and Cay down as well? Cater already promised to help touch up the ballroom in exchange for some behind-the-scene selfies, but if y’all remind them I’ll be taking care of Heartslybul Resident Troublemakers for a while I could talk Trey into updating the kitchen a little!”

“And I guess that means it’s just the two of us~” One half of the Trouble Makers teased.

“Ace… You get to help Rugs! And I think we could use some extra soap and—look at that! It’s practically lunch! Everyone, let’s meet back at Rams in 30 so Ace-kun can treat us to some lunch.”

“What’re you planning to do, Perfect!” He snapped back in retaliation.

“I still need to collect what’s out on the clothes line, fold ‘em and wait for this last load to finish drying. After lunch, a few of us can finish mending what can be salvaged and iron or steam whatever needs it. If this takes longer than an hour, just start putting shit away and I can fix it later.”

“Grrrmph… This’ll take all day!” Grim whined at nearly a decibel only dogs could hear.

“Relax Grim, you already got to nap half the day. Think about it this way… by this time Monday the dorm will be halfway livable!” Mac sarcastically cheered in response.

After a moment of two of grumbling from the first years, and a few goodbyes, Jamil could hear the mages-in-training all leave Scarabia’s laundry room and make their way through the commons. Instead of heading back to start lunch (it is TECHNICALLY his day off), he continued to listen to the shuffling of cloths being handled. Which was quietly drowned out by the sound of Mac humming to xemself.

Really, he should have left by now. Why would he want to risk the chance of being dragged into more cleaning that wasn’t even his priority. (Why did he still feel the need to manage and control other’s work?! It’s just adding more stress to his already full plate by sticking his hand in--)

Starling Jamil out of his thoughts, Mac started to sing lightly under their breath. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the Sophomore remembered Kalim excitedly prattling on about how Xe’d become an “unofficial member” of the Pop Music Club. The quartets sporadic sleepovers (for gossiping, exchanging new music, watching movies, light partying) had recently become a bi-monthly event.

“You are so much more than your father’s son/ You are so much more than what I’ve become/ Long before you were born there was light/ Hidden deep in these young, unfamiliar eyes/ A million choices, though little on their own/ Become the heirloom of the heaviness you’ve known.”

Mac knew they were close to dissociating. It was why they made sure to kick everyone out before someone commented on it. Xe’s pretty sure either Ace or Jack were on the verge of probing them when it took them a full ten seconds for xem to laugh at Ruggie’s joke (something about Grim getting his fur all over the white sheets while napping).

After finally having a private space to breath, the pent up guilt and anguish came back to bite them like a vengeful bitch. Hot pressure, like a balloon expanding in his chest, ready to burst even from the tiniest prick, closed their throat back into a steady hum. Hot pressure. Hot machines. Even the humid air made Mac feel like zey were floating and melting at the same time. Xeir hands continued the practiced motions while screeching words resonated deep in their head. Xe kept humming even as a play-by-play echoed back all of his worst apprehensive and aggressive and obnoxious comments. By now the room must’ve been bubbling, threatening to boil over and pop the picturesque serenity; sunlight stabbed through the windows enough to blind the rooms image and even making it impossible for Mac to simply see the cloth in zeir hand.

Gasping for breath, they finished singing: “… When you inherited/ A fight that you were born to lose/ It’s not your fault/ No, it’s not your fault/ I put this heavy heart in you/ I put this heavy heart in you.”

At some point, Mac dropped whatever aged silky item they were mindlessly folding to scratch at xeir arm. It was a practiced movement; a purposeful, forceful movement that left harsh, heavy, thick red lines up and down his rough, patchy forearm… just barely grazing a faded tat in the center of their wrist. Up and down. Up and down. Up and Down. Jamil decided to take his chance now, before their blood could dye the freshly cleaned laundry.

“It’s getting late, isn’t it?” He tried to stay cordial and neutral to not startle them too bad, but Xe still practically jumped while turning around. How troublesome. “Why don’t you go meet up with the others? I’ll just take care of what’s left here.”

“Shit! J-Jamil, you sneaky sonuvabitch… One of these days I’mma put a bell on you!” The startled Perfect rambled a little breathlessly. They were still trying to come back into their own body that zey hardly realized what Jamil even said. After a few moments they finally processed the emotionless order that was given. “Dude, I already made you get up early on a Saturday morning. Don’t worry about it, okay?”

Jamil huffed at the verbal side-step. “MC, you’re about ten minutes from heatstroke,” He gave zem an annoyed, unimpressed frown when they tried to retort. “I was about to make some lunch and brew a little iced chai. You might as well have some before you finish up for the day.”

“Not a Chai person,” they replied in a rush.

“Scarabia is fully stocked with all of Kalim’s guest’s favorite drinks. At least drink a glass or two of water before the desert sun dries you up.” The banter Jamil returned sounded stiff, but encouraging; So inviting, even after Mac picked him a part like an entitled, wannabe Psych Major. It didn’t feel right to already be in his company again. Then again, xey were already pretty dizzy—dissociation, a mild panic attack, and dehydration paired with a casual case of overheating was a pretty gross cocktail for their body to handle.

The stress was really starting to affect xem lately. More nightmares, more… memories and fitful sleep led to a lower tolerance to the usual Hell that is NRC. On top of all that, it seems he might further fuck up the already unstable ‘friendship’ the two hardworking students had.

“Seriously, Viper you don’t have to feel like you need to smooth things over or take control to handle everything. What I said was none of my business, and all of this mess,” Mac stumbled towards the unfolded bundle they had been working on before feeling so woozy, “is my mess to deal with. I can grab a snack or something a little later.” They tried to put up a bigger front, but it was clear that their all-persistent (stubborn) resilience was breaking down with each degree raised in the room. It was an act coming to a close… And the only way for them to give in willingly was to force his hand.

“Mac. As the Vice Warden of Scarabia I can’t have you passing out.” Jamil blankly stated.

Fuck. The quiet tension edged with anxiety was not aided by their usual jokes. Both students were stubborn, but the magicless Perfect was tired and, as much as they did want to admit it, about to tip over any second. Better get it over with….

“Just for a minute.” Xey gave in.

(and as always, shoot out to @twst-beam and @krenenbaker for rehabilitating my love for writing and giving me feedback lol! I love reading your comments and tags so KEEP'EM COMING LOL!!!!)

[creativepawsworld]

Everything But You - Part 7

Pairing = Cillian Murphy x OC

Summary = It time for Brie to defend her All Ireland Championship. Aoife takes matters into her own hands when it comes to Cillian. 

Warnings = Language, Grammar, 90s Cillian, Insults...

Word Count = 2747

Note = I cannot apologise enough for the lateness of this chapter! I have made it slightly longer than the past chapter to apologise. Hope you all enjoy and it helps with the Monday Blues I know I have. 

I felt myself overcome with nerves as I stood with my back to the main dance floor. I was resting my back against one of the walls by the long corridor, reserved solely for the dancers.

I was currently listening to a mixed tape Billy had made me for my 18th birthday, filled with kick-ass, female, empowering women. Pat Benatar's – Love is a Battlefield -flooded through the soft headphones as I tried to control my nerves.

I was asked to return to the All-Ireland Irish Dancing Championships as the current Champion. But despite the amount I had practised throughout the weeks, I didn't feel up to the standard I should have been.

Muttering along to the words, I glanced down at the black, tightly wound pin curled wig with a long, drawn-out sigh.

Things had become a lot more difficult in my life since joining college. Everything I had known about others and myself had drastically changed in a space of a few months. I had found myself chasing after a guy I had no chance with.

On days like today, I found myself missing the communication I would receive from Andrew. He was a shitty boyfriend, but he was someone I could message and he would respond instantly - distracting me from my thoughts while I waited to compete.

Although thinking back, it would have been nice for him to show up to these competitions at least once.

Biting the sides of my lips I considered going out into the stands where I did have support. My father was here, but he was constantly taking phone calls – appearing and then disappearing to hear whoever was on the other end.  

He had a huge court case defending a well-known businessman tomorrow but it was to be kept quiet. The hearing had already been brought forward to try and avoid the media circus that ensued as soon as the story of his arrest leaked.

Something about the world loved a good embezzlement case, especially against the rich.

Then there was my best friend Aoife, she managed to make the journey but not with my father and me. No, she travelled with her boyfriend Calvin, who as nice as he appeared to be – I didn't trust.

I didn't buy into his story that Andrew had been following the band to see me act. Andrew barely had time for me when we were together. There was no way he would travel up and down Ireland to watch a band I knew he didn't like just to see me. He didn't care that much, no matter how wounded his pride might be.

As for Billy, he developed the stomach flu from Marion. The pair were vomiting all week and the last thing I needed was for them to give it to me, so I warned them to stay as far as possible.

"Why are you hiding out here?" Aoife chuckled, rounding the corner. Her bright eyes stared into mine, a supportive smile on her face as I pushed the headphones around my neck. "You are going to sweat off your fake tan and makeup if you don't relax." She scolded, blotting my face gently with a clean tissue.  

"Yeah well… I don't…" I struggled over my words before finally admitting my true feelings. "I don't think I am ready, I haven't been putting in the work I used to."

"Because you are studying for a law degree Brie, it's not easy keeping the two things going. You might have to look at choosing which is more important if this is how it's going to impact you."

"You don't think I can do both?"

"I'm sure you can but what about your other extra curriculum activities?" She trailed off, biting at her bottom lip. "Like a certain blue-eyed lead guitarist."

"Cillian and I are just friends." I rolled my eyes, turning away from her to check the time on my watch. I still had thirty minutes before I had to perform.

"I've seen the looks you give him, I'm not stupid."

After the night at the bar, our relationship had well and truly been fractured. I felt so stupid sleeping with him again. Yes we had both agreed it was 'just sex' but I had feelings, I was human and I felt something he didn't. At least not for me.

During the last few weeks in class, I moved seats to get my head together. I had to move to the other side of the classroom, just to get away for him. It was hard to do, seeing the hurt in his eyes when he noticed almost killed me. But he wasn't lonely for long, Emer was more than quick to jump in and take my spot.

Anytime he tried to talk to me, I had an excuse ready. I was due to meet someone in the library to go over our case study or Billy needed my help with his latest fashion project.

I simply felt like I couldn't be around him.

"It was a stress reliever"

It soon became obvious to my friends what was going on. Although they got the clip notes version from Billy, after our night in the bar they didn't buy for one second that I was okay.

They knew sex wasn't just sex for me.

"Right. A stress reliever that has you in your feels Brie what were you thinking?" Aoife asked with a sad smile, her hand coming up to gently squeeze my shoulder. "You have to talk to him, this isn't healthy for either of you."

"He doesn't care for me. He is only after getting his next…fuck. He wants a carefree life, with no responsibilities. He has told me several times."

"It might have been what he wanted but he surely didn't get that." Aoife laughed, folding her arms over her chest. "He feels…"

"I can't deal with this right now Eefs. Can we drop it?" I asked pulling the headphones from around my neck, wrapping them around my Walkman and stuffing it into my bag.

"I don't think we can."

"Why not?" I huffed out. Not giving the woman in front of me my full attention, I took the black wig into my hands, fondling the edges before pulling it over my naturally brown hair which was already pinned into place.

"Because I may have told him what today was and how important it was for you and he kind of showed up." She spoke so fast that it took me a few seconds to catch up on her words.

"Why would you do that?" I spat turning to face her, the wig almost falling from my head since I didn't have any clips to hold it in place.

"Well, he is our friend as well as yours. You can't expect us to go to all these concerts and not make connections Brie. The guys in the band are top fellas." Aoife scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Besides he wants to support you. Which is more than Andrew ever did."

"Why do you keep doing this? Bringing him around when I don't want to be anywhere near him." I growled, reaching up to place the black wig on my head properly once more.

"You have been different since you stopped spending time with him. You've been uptight, tense and honestly so fucking difficult to be around. You both need to sort out your shit and get it together." She scolded bending down and taking my purse of clips into her hands.

"I, I haven't been that bad."

"You've been unbearable" She chuckled, taking a handful of clips and placing some in her mouth before starting to pin the wig into place. "We still love you but please talk to him." She nodded, adding a few more clips. Her eyes cast off to the side with a slight nod.

Looking over my shoulder, Cillian stood awkwardly by the bleachers, a sad smile on his face as he looked in our direction. Feeling a hand on my shoulder, Aoife gently brushed her hand off, handing me the remaining clips before walking past Cillian, brushing a hand against his shoulder as she turned the corner.

"I can leave if you want?" Cillian breathed out the minute he reached me. The dark circles under his eyes are prominent as he stands before me. It was obvious, he wasn't sleeping well.

"No, I don't want that." I sighed, bouncing back and forth between the balls of my feet and my heels. "Thank you for coming, I know I've been a bitch the last few weeks, but I…"

"I deserved it." Cillian stopped me mid-sentence, one of his hands coming up to brush the longer pieces of his hair back away from his eyes. "I should have never invited Emer to that gig, I knew it was a bad idea but I went and did it anyway."

"No, no you should have invited her. You like her. I shouldn't have acted the way I did. It is just sex between us after all." I shrugged, the words felt like they were burning my tongue as they left my mouth. "How are things for you both? I hope I didn't ruin anything."

"Nothing to ruin." Cillian quickly corrected a soft pout on his lips. "Emer's a lovely girl but she isn't who I want. She isn't for me."

"Oh, oh okay. I didn't know, sorry. But she is out there somewhere Cill, you'll meet her one day." I encouraged, unsure of where the words came from. The thought of Cillian with someone else felt like a hard punch in the gut.

"I've already met her, I just keep fucking things up with her." He responded, a cheeky twinkle returning to his blue eyes, drawing me to him. There was something magical about those eyes.

"Why do you do that?" I whispered, taking a baby step forward towards him. Cillian followed in my lead, stepping forward until he was a few centimetres away from me. I could feel the body heat radiating from him.

"I'm a twat."

Nodding my head, my eyes travelled from his, down towards his lips before they returned to his eyes which now held a knowing look, the infamous cocky smirk growing on his face.

"Nice wig," Cillian smirked, his left hand coming up from his side to caress my cheek.

Leaning into his touch, I felt a calmness washing over my once anxious-ridden body, my heartbeat quickened when I noticed his tongue dart out from his lips to moisten them before his head began its descent towards my lips.

"Wait, are you sure about this?" I asked stopping the kiss from happening. He was mere inches from my lips, I could feel his breath brushing against my face. "What happened to living without responsibility? Letting go and being carefree?"

"I want to let go of Everything but You." He whispered, lips ghosting over my lips.

Pushing myself forward, I pushed my lips against his, allowing him to take the lead. Within seconds our tongues began to fight for dominance, I felt Cillian's fingers try and run through my wig but it was too tightly bound.

Pulling away with a laugh, he shook his head – hands still trying to penetrate the synthetic material. Reaching up, I brushed my thumb across his lips trying my hardest to remove the red lipstick that had transferred.

Smiling down at me, he leaned back down capturing my lips in one of the sweetest kisses I had ever experienced in my life. It was soft, and delicate like if he pushed too hard I would break but it had an overwhelming feeling of want rushing through my veins.

"For fuck sake couldn't you wait until after you performed to suck face?" Aoife's voice suddenly appeared next to me with a growl.

Pulling away from Cillian, my cheeks flushed red as she took my chin into her hand, pulling it in her direction to assess the damage.

"Can you fix it?" I asked as she moved my head in all directions under the awful corridor lighting, getting a good view of all angles.

"It's not that bad actually." Aoife nodded with a smile, tossing me a wink before looking over at Cillian. "Red lipstick is certainly not your colour." She laughed, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a clean tissue, handing it over.

*****

Throughout my performance, my eyes would fall on Cillian. He stood next to Aoife who stood next to my father, the three of them watched on with proud looks on their faces before erupting into the loudest cheers in the place when I had finished.

Taking the bottle of water Aoife had outstretched in her hands, I scurried over to them – grateful the whole thing was over. Inhaling through my nose, I allowed her to pull me into a hug, whispering in my ear how good I was before passing me off to my father.

"Your mother would be so proud of you Brie." He grinned, pulling me tightly against his chest. Upon pulling away his hands gripped onto my shoulders holding me in place as he cast an eye over towards Cillian who was engrossed in a conversation with Aoife and Calvin. "Does he treat you right?"

"Excuse me?... What?... Cillian and I are just friends." I laughed awkwardly with a shake of my head, my vision dropping to my feet.

"Ahhhh right, friends." My father trailed off with a playful eyeroll. "Your mother and I were just friends when I came to her first show as well." He laughed, gently pushing against my shoulder.

"Stop" I whined, drawing Cillian's attention towards me and my father.  I instantly panicked when I noticed him make his way over towards us. My father had no filter, he would say it how it was – embarrassing not only me but also Cillian.

"You were brilliant" Cillian announced, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder as soon as he reached me. "Hello, Sir."

"Mr Murphy." My father nodded in response, looking between the two of us before excusing himself. Cillian and I stood next to each other, in an awkward yet comforting silence.

"Do you…" "How is…" Cillian and I started at the same time, both stopping after the second word with a laugh. "You go first." I allowed, gesturing towards him with my hand.

"I was going to ask if you wanted to grab something to eat after you win?" He asked, the cocky smile growing on his face, reaching his eyes. "But you have to wear the wig."

"Such an ass." I chuckled playfully slapping my hand against his chest. "I would love to but my dad's my lift home, if I left with you I would have no way home."

"A date?" I processed, eyes widening at the words. We never had a date before. Cillian never even mention the possibility of it happening, then again our entire relationship was based on friendship and sex.

My words confused him. Shoving his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, he glanced over to the side thinking over what I had just said.

"So you don't want to go on a date with me?" He asked turning back around for clarification. "Have I fucked this up again?"

"Yeah?" Cillian squinted, eyebrows falling causing frown lines to form on his forehead. "Look if that's not…"

"No, I would love to." I almost screamed out, forgetting where I was. "I mean, yeah we can go on a date. That would be nice."

"Nice recovery." Cillian joked, a deep shade of red filling my already pink-blushed cheeks.

"But wait what about getting home?"

"I'm sure we can miss one day of college Brie…" Cillian rolled his eyes, taking one hand from his pocket to take my hand into his, his thumb gently gliding over my knuckles. "But if it's such a big deal I have my father's car parked out front."

"You drive?" I asked with a louder gasp than I would have liked.

"No, I fly." He chuckled, his face pulled straight as he shook his head in my direction. "Of course, I drive, I just don't have a car."

"How did I not know that?" I questioned tilting my head to the side, a soft smile gracing my face.

Taglist

"You were more interested in getting into my pants than finding anything out about me."

Part 8

@stars-of-scorpio @lovemissyhoneybee @peakyscillian​ @cillmequick​ @forgottenpeakywriter​ @lyarr24  @brummiereader

[xirae]

My current roommate situation is mostly pretty great, but I can NOT stand how one of them walks bc he is the heaviest stepper I have ever heard in my life. He's stepped behind me and it felt like a landmine going off underneath me! And what's worse is he has this super specific mealtime ritual where he makes one specific meal: habenero pasta with a sauce he makes every few weeks. He'll cook things then walk back and forth between the TV to watch like a minute of a youtube video then go back to stir things. it drives me up a wall if I'm home for it, and I kind of lost my shit today. I did tell him, it was kind of mean bc I said like "Are you aware of how you walk????" bc on the other side of the spectrum, I am the most light footed person I know. You won't hear me, you will not realize I exist. So I'm like, how does this guy walk the way he does!?!?!?!? Kind of wish I just lived with a clone of myself tbh....... but ugh this could be perfect if it weren't for this stepping situation. And I said "oh worst case we can just get a rug" but apparently he's prone to slipping.... can you learn how to be 2% graceful. He's like the least graceful person I know, which I do value having a little bit of grace. I think it's a trait that's widely kind of lacking.

GOing to see if my sound canceling headphones works. I just hate feeling bass travel through my body with the exception of being at shows. But at home, when trying to relax, I HATE bass and I HATE slams. Drives my sensory system up a wall. If I'm not tired I can handle it, but today I worked out really hard and just wanted to shut off

[marvelover-3000]

Wanda x Female Reader Ch. 2

I notice that I've been staring to long when she glances my way. I look away flustered which usually wasn't like me, I never get so flustered and nervous so easily but something about this girl was getting me hot under the collar. I turned to my dad to see him smirking at me with a knowing look, as Natasha was walking towards us with a friendly smile. " Glad to see your up and feeling better, I'm Natasha it's nice to meet you Y/N."

She holds out her hand which I shake enthusiastically. "Nice to meet you to Natasha, I have to admit though I'm a big fan of yours and it's been a dream of mine to train with you. I really could learn a lot from an experienced fighter like yourself." She smirks at me and says, "Thanks and don't worry well have plenty of time to train later after your dad here gives you a tour of the place."

"That would be great, thanks. Also, who is that girl running on the treadmill over there." "That's Wanda Maximoff, she's new around here and around your age, actually instead of me giving you a tour maybe Natasha could while I go set up the armory for you to see later."

I then turn to him excitedly and say "You mean set up a case for my future suit to go in." He then laughs "Maybe later when you're ready to become an avenger." Natasha then turns to me "I'm going to shower and change then I'll be happy to show you around the compound, maybe you can go introduce yourself to Wanda in the meantime." "Sounds good, thanks Natasha."

They both walk out the door leaving me alone with Wanda. She then starts to power down the treadmill and readjusts her ponytail and some loose hair that frames her gorgeous face. I then realize that her water bottle is sitting on the bench near the treadmill, so I go and grab it for her before she steps off. I grab the water bottle and hold it out for her to take as she's taking off her headphones and stepping off the treadmill. "Here's your water bottle Wanda." I smile at her as she looks at me with a blank expression and takes the bottle. "You must be Stark's Daughter." "Yep, I'm Y/N it's nice to meet you, Wanda." I stick my hand out ready to shake her soft and cute looking hand, she looks down at my hand. She then takes a long drink of her water and looks back into my eyes "Not really interested in meeting another stark so I'll pass." She then walks past me and in the direction of the door. I then look at the ground and say softly "Oh, ok see you around I guess."

I then start to put on some gloves and start to take some swings at the punching bag. After a while Natasha comes in and sees me punching the bag and smirks leaning against the doorframe. "Your forms needs some work but besides that you're doing a good job." I then turn to her and say "Thanks, Wanda wasn't much of a talker, so I decided to busy myself while I wait. She walks over to me and helps adjust my form. Then stands next to me and says "Yeah, I figured that would be the case. Her and Tony don't always get along well. He was responsible for the death of her parent's or at least he built the missile that killed them." I stop punching the bag and turn to her "That's terrible, I had no idea that happened. Makes sense why she hates me already. I guess I shouldn't ask my dad if I can move into the compound then." She puts a hand on my shoulder " Hey, it's not your fault and just give her time. More importantly though, what's this about you wanting to live here."

I turn to her and sigh "I guess I've just been thinking is all. I mean all I want in life is to help people for a living and do something with my life. I'm currently working at a job I don't like and if I'm being honest my dreams of becoming a writer probably won't work out. I'm not good enough to make it in that industry and I've always admired what you guys do here. I guess I just figured that maybe I can do some good here and become an avenger like my dad and the rest of you. That sounds stupid doesn't it." She leads me to the bench as we sit down, she says "Listen Y/N, this life isn't easy and I'm not saying no but in order for this all to happen we have to have a meeting and time to think about it. I personally would love to have you here. We could always use someone like you around here. Especially someone that could keep your father's ego in check." We both laugh and I give her a hug. "Thanks Natasha that means a lot, I appreciate having someone to talk to that isn't my mom."

She then helps me up "No problem, I'm here whenever you need me. It's always nice to have another girl around here to chat with about this stuff. Anyway, let me give you a tour of this place."

[buzzkillzine]

15/5/23

I didn't get a chance to write yesterday because I went and saw Regurgitator which was great fun. Drove a couple of hours to the big city to see them (the downside of living outside of a big city is you have to travel there to go to fun stuff) but when we arrived I wasn't sure of the venues policy on bags. So I just took the essentials in my pockets (wallet, phone, keys, earplugs, mints, sanitiser and mask) and went and watched the show. But it made me think about what I carry around all the time in my bag.

So, here is a 'what's in my bag / every day carry / things I haul around every day and then wonder why my bag is always heavy' post.

First of all the main bit of what I carry is my life stuff.

This is a little pouch thing for my pens. This attaches to the cover of my journal, which is only a week old at this point. I like to put a different sticker on the front so I can tell which is the front easily (currently a Resignators Sticker, great band, check em out) and also it gives my brain a rough timeline of what I journal from what sticker was on the front.

I have a travel journal which I'm currently using to put ideas for stuff in. Just little notes, bits, quotes, sentences, story ideas, random words that I like and whatever else. I am using the pens and pecils for that stuff, which get stored inside.

There is then a 2023 diary to attempt to keep myself organised, or at least know what I'm going to be late for.

Then there's the other stuff in the main bit of the bag. Normally whatever books I'm currently reading, my Switch and DS. This is my entertainment. Currently halfway through the Mark Lanegan autobiography, and have Giovannis Room there in case I want to read something else. I normally have multiple books on the go at once because my brain won't let me focus on one thing for too long. I've already been up and down 3 times while trying to write this post.

This is the stuff that's in the two pockets on my bag. Phone charger, headphones, pocket knife (I use it to cut open cardboard boxes at work), a comb that looks like a flick knife (actually very practical because my previous plastic pocket combs get broken and this is a handy way to keep it clean and safe. Plus it has a bottle opener), a mask, some spare pocket notebooks, spare pens, earplugs and some lip balm, paw paw stuff and a Vicks Inhaler. Oh and some mints of some kind.

This is the stuff I carry on me in my pockets. Wallet, keys on a chain cos without the chain I'm always fucking losing them, notebook and pen, watch/fitness tracker and a phone that isn't pictured because it's doing the picturing.

And finally

The bag. This one is from @ironfoxtypewriters It's actually big enough to hold a small portable typewriter and I do use it for that as well. I just leave my switch, ds and books at home so they don't distract me.

So yeah. That's what I carry around all the time.

Hope that's interesting.

[nightcall99]

Dreams from 11.9.24

Dream 1: I was at someone's house. Someone wealthy. It reminded me of, or maybe it was, the house of a friend from primary school. I think there was party happening. Then I had to walk home. I got up the maps on my phone and followed it. My house was only a few kilometres away. The house was on a deceptively large plot of large, it was just really long and kept going on and on. On my way out of their backyard, I somehow wound up in another part of the house was disconnected from the main house and looked like it was being renovated. It was like random bedroom. Inside was a young girl sleeping. To leave I had to go through this place and I didn't want to disturb the girl but I guess I did anyhow. It looked run down from the outside but was normal on the inside.

I made it out of their property and as I was walking down the road I saw some childhood friends. They wanted to have a catch up session with me but I told them next time. I needed to go. I didn't know the way home despite it being so close. Even though it wasn't far, it had been a bit of maze to get out of that place and I had to follow the directions pretty closely. I was following the blue line on maps. I came across some teenagers who I walked with for a bit. I asked them, which way is Fulham road? (where I live). They pointed to the right of the main road we were currently on. I realised I was almost home. It was just straight and around the corner. I walked on by myself.

Dream 2: I was at work and had on my headphones. I had them on because I was on a call with a customer. Thing is, I couldn't hear anything. A regular customer, NH, was standing in the protein aisle and she had on headphones too. She was looking at me and so I looked at her and we both shook our heads as if to communicate how over everything we are. I still couldn't hear anything so I took the headphones off to try and figure out what the matter was. The earpads came completely off so I guess they were broken? I tried to put them back together and then back on my head, but still nothing. In any case, I was glad that I looked busy to NH and that she looked busy to me (since she had on her headphones too). It meant that I didn't have to get up close and have a fake conversation with her. We still connected from afar so I didn't feel bad at least.

Dream 3: EA was there. I showed her where a vitamin product on was, pointing to it on the shelf. There was silent communication.

[the-duckless-pond]

I am feeling pretty… irritated? angry? frustrated? tonight. It kind of started this morning in getting angry at myself for struggling with my independent study and getting work done (I did not accomplish everything I wanted today despite waking up over 12 hours ago). And it ebbed and waned and wasn’t too bad and I got at least some work done and that kind of made me feel better.

And then I had therapy and now I do not feel better and have felt like… annoyed ever since. I don’t know. It’s hard to know exactly what I am feeling. I just feel bothered and bad and it is lingering.

I think right now I am irritated because I think I go out enough and do enough things within reason for my current ability and anxiety level post-COVID and post multiple traumatic interpersonal relationships. I interact in class three days a week (but I guess that doesn’t count since it’s over zoom), I get a soda like I like and chat a little with the workers on a daily basis, I see my mom a few times a week and spend time with her, and I get lunch once a month with a friend. I even went to the ren faire and spent 8 hours talking just the other weekend! And I think I do enough things and enough talking and interacting for someone with my level of interpersonal trauma. I talk to my bff every day multiple times a day even if she doesn’t respond. I am interacting with people. I feel more or less satisfied with this and do not often feel lonely.

But my therapist thinks I need to, in his words, rejoin society??? Like what?? And that’s because I guess I can’t see my bff in person or talk often in person because she lives a thousand miles away and that’s not my fault and she is rationally the only person I trust enough to spend consistent time with? And that’s a bad thing? Apparently? Anyway he is super on my case about going out and doing things and being near people. Like suggesting I should start going to Mass again and things lk’e that, which doesn’t even make sense because I talked to no one at Mass. I went and sat quietly and listened and then left and that is how I like it. And he is super on my case about it since none of my classes are in person this semester. But that’s not my fault!! I hate it!! I miss classrooms and sitting quietly in them and listening to the professor for an hour and a half! But pin it on the university, not on me.

I guess I am feeling very… targeted? For lack of a better word? And I am so annoyed by it that I am strongly considering walking around downtown this weekend even though I DONT WANT TO AND HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO AND HAVE BEEN SICK UGH. And even if I do I’m not going to talk to anyone anyway so what’s the fucking point! I would wear a mask and my big headphones that say leave me the fuck alone to everyone and maybe window shop and briefly take my headphones off to buy bubble tea or ice cream and then put them back on. And I would be so uncomfortable the entire time and hate it.

Like I have all the skills to go out and do things. It is not a problem. I learned the skills, went out and did things, and discovered that I HATE GOING OUT AND DOING THINGS AND PREFER TO STAY AT HOME! So I adjusted my life and my daily routine to reflect that! It’s not a fucking problem to be solved! There is no problem! I tried it for several very long years, like 4 or 5, and then stopped because it was awful and home or a walk in the woods by no one is so much better.

So whyyyyyyyyy do I have to go through this again?? Why do I feel like I’m being bullied into doing things I literally cannot stand? And it’s not an anxiety problem or a trauma problem. I have the skills. I am fully capable of going out and when I need to I do. I just… don’t see the point in it because I dislike it so much. So I don’t. And I am happier this way. I really truly am.

But I guess I have to fit some neurotypical ideal now? I truly do not see what the problem is. Lots of people are recluses and are just fine.

I don’t understand why I’m not allowed to be a recluse too. Idk. I hate it.

After today and hearing about it yet again I am strongly considering quitting therapy because I hate it so much. I just want to be left alone to live my quiet reclusive life with my one close friend and have therapy as a space to talk about my week. I’m not trying to solve some big problem. I don’t understand why I can’t have that and why everyone always tries to force me to go out and talk to people.

I am very upset and crying now. I don’t understand why it is apparently such a big deal. It’s so fucking stupid. Ugh.

[lesralizes]

my energy-revisiting my first post

i feel like a mess, i dont know myself anymore

when i wrote about "my energy" everything flowed so naturally, now i'm just stuck

but i'll force myself to write about all the things that make me, me, just so i can find myself in between all this mess my mind has been through lately. here i go, i present to you, again, my energy (revisited and modified)

a little cup of coffee with oat milk from the coffee shop i now work at, orange juice on free days and matcha latte at home before class. early mornings reading books and feeling the cold wind, listening to the birds chirping as my reading soundtrack and seeing the sun arise through the window. late night readings before sleeping, when everything is quiet and i feel like the only person alive. struggling to see the words cause there's almost no light or cause i'm too sleepy. mixing silver and gold jewelry. baggy low waist dark trousers with any type of basic top that fits me right (maybe a little longer on my sleeves) and comfortable flat shoes as my go to outfit. i dont care anymore. i dont wear platforms to appear taller and slimmer, i seek comfort. keeping my hair long and messy. no make up make up look (now for real), wearing lipstick instead of eyeliner. wearing you by glossier or another 13 by le labo instead of santal 33. i still love french cinema and dream everyday of being percieved by others as the protagonist of any rohmer's movie. i dont own a moleskin anymore but i write in every piece of paper i can find, preferably in black ink. i still feel the need to document everything i go through. i still keep a diary, i still film my days. jonas mekas films always in mind, annie ernaux books all highlighted and noted. vintage leather bags with lip balm, lip liner, a sweet treat and my current read. reading almost exclusively books written by woman,, they just get me. making playlist for every emotion i feel, one for anger, one for tranquility and one (the most special) for the best feeling in the world: leaving the cinema, after you've sat for a few hours in a room full of strangers, all there to do the same thing as you, and you've lived another life for those few hours. for when you open the exit door and take the first breath of fresh air and feel renewed, like a new person. everything you do becomes cinematic, your life feels like a movie, and of course you need a playlist by your side.

im still daydreaming all the time. still missing a boy, still thinking about the way he used to call me or how every part of his body used to feel. still wondering what would've happened, how things would've been. still biting my lips and eating cookies every time im anxious.

still wearing my silk dresses and my grandma's nightgowns to sleep in the summer and matching blue pijamas when it's cold. i own a new phone now, but i still have a clear phone case with movie tickets (still collect them). going to the cinema at least twice a month, now that i can afford it. visiting art exhibitions alone with my wired headphones and lots of curiosity. now i seek the sun and long for the summer time, even though i'm still a cold weather enjoyer at heart. still a paris lover and romanticist-more than ever since i lived my before sunrise fantasy when i spent a whole day in the city of love with the boy from another country i'd met fifteen days before. i cried admiring the sunset in montmartre (like delphine on le rayon vert) and kissed him under the stars to mr brightside by the killers haha.

i still think of him, of all the people i've met throughout my life, of all the people who have seen me grow and evolve. i'm forever changing and learning, and after almost three years of my first post i still preserve most of "my energy", and i can say that that version of myself is still here. a lot of things are still the same.

sometimes the girl i used to be visits me and greets me from a far. i look at myself and see all the other versions i've ever been, and i wave them back with a smile. but also with a sense of grief because i know i can never go back, i will never be six or eighteen again.

even though im never satisfied with my present self i try to focus on what i do like about who i am. i focus on what i love and work towards it. this is a little piece i wrote to reflect on how i've changed while feeling lost and melancholic in my daily life. the result of it feels bittersweet, but i feel much lighter. i encourage you to try it.

if you've read all of this, just know you have a very special place in my little heart.

[littleavengerfics]

If you ever need anything, give me a call.

Natasha x little reader

Summary: you and Nat are forced to separate because of your statuses but she promises to be there. One day that is tested, will she keep her promise?

warnings: age regression, forced separation, breakup? creepy guy, stalking, implied violence, past injury, mentions guns/ bullets. (Lmk if I need to add more)

"I want you to take this." Natasha placed a small piece of paper in your hand. "What is it?" You asked tears trying to escape although that would be expected given the current situation. "I know this isn't an ideal situation." Natasha started making you chuckle. Being forced apart from the love of your life was anything but an ideal situation.

"But I still love you." Natasha admitted with a sad half smile. "If you need anything, give me a call." Natasha kissed your head. "I don't care if it's the middle of the night you call me. Fury can't track it and you are the only one who has it so I will know it's you. I will be there no matter what." You nodded giving your now ex girlfriend a kiss before grabbing your bags.

You didn't want to leave by any means but Fury was set on it. You got hurt on a mission, which wasn't that big of a deal. Things happen. However, Natasha got a little overprotective and disobeyed orders to help you, what happened next? Well you regressed of course, Natasha getting distracted by you being safe and content meant that she didn't seem to notice the agent behind her until the bullet hit.

Of course Fury blamed it on you being a little and said it was an unnecessary danger and a weakness to the team. Natasha pleaded your case but it only made her situation worse, when her job was threatened you agreed to leave. Natasha was close to quitting too but you didn't want to put her in that position, knowing how much she loved it so you broke up with her and left.

Now to the present day,

It had been a few weeks and life had been relatively okay given the circumstances.

If crying yourself to sleep every night was okay at least.

You were always so tempted to call her but you didn’t have a real reason. The only thing you ever needed was her but it seemed selfish to make her stay and give up her dreams.

Natasha wasn’t taking the news so well either, at first she took the approach of trying to make caregiver/little relationships more acceptable. And it worked, they even created a room at shield headquarters specifically for littles and their caregivers. On a mission they would have someone the little trusted so if they regressed all they had to do was push a button and it alerted the team immediately.

She was making great progress until Maria turned up at her office. “I saw y/n today.” She admitted quietly. “They we’re with some girl in the cafe you went on your second date.” Nat nodded trying to hide her true feelings about the situation. “They’re probably just friends.” Nat shrugged it off. “They hugged Natasha, they seemed pretty close to me. I just don’t want you wasting all of this time getting your hopes up that y/n will come back and everything will be like it was.”

Nat sighed. “You know not everything is about y/n. how many caregivers and littles have you seen around here recently? They’re finally comfortable being themselves. That is not a waste of time.” Maria frowned. “Nat you’re my best friend, you and I both know you did not do that just for them. Maybe you should talk to y/n, at least mention what’s been happening over here at hear them out. If they want to see you great, if not then you know it’s okay to move on. And you helped more littles than you originally planned.” Maria smiled.

Natasha was going to call you she really was, but she couldn’t stand the thought of you rejecting her.

Well you soon got your wish, you were given a reason to call her that all started with a cough.

You were walking back home from your new part time job at the cafe with your headphones in when you heard a sound behind you echo in the alley way. You glanced to the side and saw a shadow on the brick wall to the left of you. You felt your heart beat slightly faster as you carried on walking.

You didn’t own the alleyway he had every right to be there as much as you did, you thought trying to calm yourself. Maybe he coughed on purpose to let you know he was there because he didn’t want to just sneak up on you. Or maybe he wanted you to be scared.

if that was his plan, it was working. No matter what explanation or scenario you came up with it didn’t comfort you one bit.

You had an idea there were two linked pathways leading to your house, you could easily cut through both without making it obvious that you knew he was following you. At least then you would be sure of it and not just assuming the worst of a potentially innocent situation. When it came to the paths you went left at the cross road. He followed. Okay don’t panic, there was a shop up near there, maybe he was going there, or going home. You decided to cross the road and the guy just stared at you from the other side. Okay this was definitely creepy.

he was still a fair bit away from you so you decided to stop for a second to see if he would walk off but he stopped and pretended to tie his shoes. You reached for your phone slowly calling the emergency contact, which yes was Natasha. “Y/n?” You heard nat speak through the headphones. “Y/n are you there?” You wanted so badly to respond but you didn’t know how to without him hearing.

“Y/n of you don’t respond in two seconds I’m tracking your location... Okay I found it. Alright I’m on my way there now. Is someone there with you?” You fake coughed. “I take that as a yes. Okay don’t go home just yet, head towards the park I will meet you there. I will protect you, I promise” You nodded knowing you trusted her more than anything. Sure enough the footsteps started up again as the dude carried on following you.

“I know it’s hard but you need to try and stay big okay, if you start crying it will make the situation worse.” Nat felt bad for making you stay big but she knew it was important right now.

“I can see you I’m just pulling over I’ll be there in ten seconds just hang on.” Nat got out of the car and ran to you. “Mommy!” You cried running to her. “Hey baby.” Nat said sadly picking you up. “Mommy’s got you, you’re safe now.” Nat glared at the man. “Baby I need you to be really brave and run home.” Usually she wouldn’t trust it but it was less than a minute walk even for you. Besides she didn’t want you to see what was about to happen. “I need you to run and hide I will be there in a minute. Trust me.” You nodded, doing as you were told. You reached the front door and threw yourself inside making sure to lock it behind you.

Ten minutes later there was a knock on the door and you froze. Had he found you? “Hey can you open the door for mommy little one?” Natasha asked softly. You slowly shuffled closer reaching for the lock. “Y/n I know you’re scared but its just me I promise. Mommy scared the bad man away and I just want to hold my little baby.” You wiped away some tears before opening the door.

“Mommy!” You cried. “Shh mommy’s here.” Nat picked you up. “Mommy’s really sorry baby. I should never have left you.” You nodded. “Is otay mommy. I lu’ you.” Natasha properly smiled for the first time in weeks. “I love you too dorogoy. Now how about we watch a movie and I make you some warm milk?” You nodded against her neck. “Blankie.” You whispered. “Yes i will get you a blanket and stuffies.” You and Natasha cuddled up on the couch with blankets and stuffies and were perfectly content.

No bad men, no judgment, no more tears just a lot of love and cuddles.

You never did find out what happened to the man but you did know he never bothered you again.