#ate your tag served you the Horror

[luminnara]

Unheavenly Creatures | Feyd Rautha/reader (NSFW 18+)

Summary: Feyd Rautha has taken a liking to you, a handmaiden accompanying your mistress on a diplomatic visit to Giedi Prime. He decides it's time to add another darling to his collection.

Warnings: knife stuff, blood stuff, mentions of murder, sex, a lil cannibalism, sex sex sex, dubcon-ish tones? lots of biting, it's feyd rautha it's not gonna be all sunshine, but he is also not as terrible as canon entirely so idk

Word count: 6k

Check out my feyd rautha playlist!

Tags: @austinswhitewolf @aeilani @maneater17 @serrendiipty

The Harkonnen palace was a cold place, not in the sense that the air was crisp and you could see your own breath, but rather that the austerity of its halls and monochromatic decor felt positively frigid. As if even the buildings weren’t meant to harbor life on this toxic, forsaken rock anymore. Everything you had seen of Giedi Prime so far had felt the same—stark, brutal, inhospitable. A barren wasteland with blinding white skies and dark acid rain.

And yet, House Harkonnen seemed to thrive beneath the black sun, growing numerous and powerful and rich. Before arriving, you had heard horror stories, rumors of what Baron Vladimir and his nephews were like, none of them pretty. When you had been informed you’d been chosen to accompany your own House’s leaders on a diplomatic trip to the Harkonnen homeworld, you’d considered pretending to be sick to get out of it. Faking your own death had seemed like a valid option at that point.

But with little choice of your own, you were forced to follow along as a handmaiden, and from the moment you set foot on Giedi Prime, you were determined to keep your head down and hope that the meetings went smoothly so that you could return to your own planet as quickly as possible. As you walked dutifully behind your Lady, hands folded and eyes trained on your feet, you couldn’t help but wrinkle your nose at the putrid, chemical air, unaware of the dark eyes watching you.

“My nephew, na-Baron Feyd Rautha,” Baron Harkonnen rasped, his voice like dry gravel. His words had you glancing up to finally look at what the Harkonnens considered royalty, and what was supposed to be a quick peek turned into a curious stare. The Baron himself was a large man, and he was levitating, wearing a long black robe that touched the ground even while he was so high above it. Tubes connected him to what you could only assume was some sort of breathing apparatus, a dark, spherical thing floating behind him. Standing behind him to his right was a much younger man, dressed in black and staring directly at you.

You felt a chill fly up your spine.

Feyd Rautha tore his eyes away from you and inclined his head in acknowledgement, looking to your Lord and Lady as formal pleasantries were exchanged. You kept your eyes down once more as you finally moved indoors, where the air was fresh and stale at the same time, and the walls were imposing and cold.

You followed along as your Lady was given the grand tour, a journey that ended at the guest wing. You were shown to your room and all but locked inside, left alone to inspect your temporary lodgings. If the rest of the palace was bleak, this was entirely featureless—a single boring bed sat in the center, a small table off to the side. There were no windows, not a shred of natural light despite how high the ceiling was. How anyone could willingly design such a place was beyond you, and you counted yourself lucky to only have to endure it for a short time.

Dinner was served that evening, hosted by the Baron and his nephew. You were permitted to join, dressed in a plain white gown as you sat in silence, doing your best to disappear. You could feel Feyd Rautha’s eyes upon you as you ate and tried to ignore him, cutting into what must have been meat and realizing it was rare at best, perhaps an organ from some large beast. Nonetheless you ate it, finding it adequate and perhaps even tasty, eating in the calm and measured manner expected of you back home.

Suddenly, Feyd barked a laugh. “A pet at the dinner table?”

You glanced up at him and found yourself fascinated once more. His pale skin, nearly white, was completely smooth; you had yet to see a Harkonnen with hair, though you did not know whether they removed it or simply never had it in the first place. His blue eyes were so dark they appeared black in contrast, and as he grinned at you, all you saw were black teeth, and it was somehow beautiful in that brutal, gruesome way of Giedi Prime.

“Do your pets always dine with you?” He rasped, his tone mocking.

“Na-Baron, she is not a pet,” your Lady said sternly, and you felt safe knowing that she would defend you. You were loyal to your House for a reason, after all; you knew your leaders would bring you home safe and sound. “She is my attendant.”

“You must forgive my dear nephew,” the Baron said. “Your customs are not ours.”

You expected a rebuttal, but none came, and Feyd Rautha’s eyes remained glued to you as you ate.

-0-

The negotiations seemed to stretch on.

After dinner, you had helped your Lady retire for the night and then returned to your chamber, laying in bed as you stared at the distant ceiling. All the stories you had heard of the Harkonnens swirled in your mind, and you thought of their recent extermination of House Atreides and shuddered. Your House was desperate to stay in their good graces, you knew, and who could blame them? No one wanted to end up slaughtered like the Atreides.

You told yourself that you were safe. Even if the Harkonnens had lured your Lord and Lady to Giedi Prime under false pretenses, you were only a servant; there was no reason to kill you as well. Aside from Feyd Rautha’s comments at dinner and the stark discomfort of the palace, nothing had happened to make you believe you were a target, and though you knew it was borderline blasphemous, you took some solace in the knowledge that it was more worth their while to kill your masters than you.

When you finally relaxed enough to close your eyes, however, sleep came surprisingly easily, and your dreams were simple and comfortable.

In the morning, you prepared the Lady for the day, and then she and the Lord entered their meeting with the Baron, leaving you alone. There was nothing to do but wander the guest wing, though that only occupied you for a short time as there was absolutely nothing to look at. Nothing in the way of art decorated the walls, and the architecture was so smooth and so plain you quickly grew bored of it. You doubted you would be permitted to participate in anything that even semi-resembled entertainment, and as minutes stretched into hours, you realized your feet had taken you out of the guest wing and into a corridor you had no memory of.

You turned in a circle, seeing nothing and no one familiar, and made the decision to continue on. Surely someone would have informed you of any off-limits areas upon your arrival, and with absolutely no guards in sight, it couldn’t be that bad for you to wander this area as well.

Your steps echoed around you, breaking the oppressive silence of the hall. The architecture was bafflingly different compared to that of your home, where wood and warm stone blended together to create buildings that felt welcoming. On Giedi Prime, everything was harsh and inhospitable—including the people and their homes.

Though your interactions with the Harkonnens had been brief thus far, you could confidently say that they weren’t winning any popularity contests, except perhaps amongst themselves. Nearly everything you’d ever heard about them was bad, and so far, you mostly found them strange; the Baron was fearsome in the way a sick, desperate animal was, with those eyes that followed people as if he were wondering what it would be like to crush their necks in his hands just because he could.

His nephew, on the other hand, was fearsome in the way a predator was. His movements were smooth and confident at dinner the night before, his eyes calculating as if counting how many moves it would take him to press a knife into your gut. You had heard of Feyd Rautha, the pretty boy of Giedi Prime, but you had never seen him before yesterday, and quite frankly, you had expected something else…but then again, what had you even expected at all? The na-Baron was surely cruel just as his uncle was, but he seemed…different.

The clang of metal followed by the sound of a muffled thud startled you out of your thoughts of Feyd, and with a start, you realized you were standing outside a closed door. It was the first noise you’d heard that wasn’t your own all day, and your heart pounded as you quickly stepped back. Perhaps you should run, lest you be caught outside the guest wing. Perhaps it wouldn’t matter at all, as no one has explicitly ordered you to remain in your chamber. And, above all else, perhaps you were curious about what lay on the other side of the door, and you took a step forward again.

It was only a heartbeat later that it opened, revealing Feyd Rautha.

“Well, well,” he said, voice rough, “what do we have here?”

He was dressed in all black, in what you assumed were casual clothes for the Harkonnen royalty.

“Apologies, Feyd Rautha,” you said quickly. “I was passing by and heard a sound.”

You could feel his eyes raking over you as he listened. Then, a smirk crept across his lips, and he help up a bloody dagger.

He did so slowly, and you knew it to be an attempt at intimidation. He wanted you scared. He wanted to shock and disgust the outsider who came from another great house, who had surely never encountered anything like him before.

But you were tougher than that. You may have been a handmaiden for a spoiled aristocrat, but on your planet, hunting was common. You’d had your fair share of field dressing game, and you weren’t one to shy away from a knife.

You eyed the dark blood dripping from the blade, then focused on his face once more. “I apologize if I have caused an interruption.”

“Not at all,” he said, brow twitching as he tilted his head slightly. “Though you are to address me as na-Baron. Only my darlings may use my name.”

“Of course, na-Baron. My apologies.”

“Why are you not in the guest wing, little pet?”

“I have nothing to do, na-Baron.” You shrugged.

This time, he grinned, baring black teeth. If he expected you to cringe away, he would be surprised to find that you seemed almost unimpressed with the display. “So you walk freely, as though you own this palace. I could kill you for the insolence.”

You looked at him boredly.

“I could gut you.” He took a step towards you. “Stick this knife into you. Right. Here.”

He was standing before you, the tip of the blade poking your belly, still grinning. At your lack of reaction, however, the grin faded slightly, nearly faltering.

“Not there,” you replied, a bit amused by his lack of skill.

“What?”

“If you aim to gut me, that’s a terrible place to start.” You wrapped a hand around his and moved the knife over slightly. “This is better.”

He watched your face. “You’re a Bene Gesserit witch.”

“No,” your lip quirked in a small smile. “No, I’m experienced in the ways of hunting and traditional field dressing. Our House is known for them.”

“You’re a hunter? A weak, little thing like you?” He pressed the blade against your dress and laughed.

You considered stepping back, away from the na-Baron and his knife, but you recognized the growing fervor in his eyes. He wanted to hunt, to pursue, to drive the blade forward until he could feel your blood on his skin. Feyd was like a hunting hound, eager to follow the scent of his prey, easily triggered by the chase. So you stood still, studying his pale, smooth face.

“The Lord and Lady enjoy hunting on the estate.” You finally answered. “I often assist in dressing the game after.”

“But have you killed?”

“My uncle took me hunting when I was young. I learned much about the ways of nature and the hunt.”

“You speak so formally,” he taunted, leaning in.

“I do, na-Baron,” you replied curtly. “I do not wish to offend.”

With a sick smirk, he leaned into you even further, lips brushing your ear. “Have you killed a human?”

You watched him from the corner of your eye, and he watched you.

“Na-Baron, I fear I’m lost. I’ll return to the guest wing promptly if you’ll point me in the right direction—“

“Don’t change the subject, pet.” He drew back. “Lying to me is unwise.”

You swallowed hard. “Why do you wish to know?”

“You’ve caught my eye, little one,” he withdrew the blade, leaving the smallest stain on your dress. “And you’ve already told me all I need to know.”

You felt a chill, the back of your neck tingling as you watched him raise the bloody knife and lick it clean. Feyd Rautha was dangerous. More dangerous than you knew.

“Return to the guest wing,” he rasped. “I must attend to my darlings. They grow lonely without me.”

You stared, perplexed, as he strode away, an uneasy feeling washing over you as you turned and hurried back the way you had come. The sooner you could leave Giedi Prime and its unnerving House, the better.

-0-

“What?”

“Hush.” Your mistress scolded you, but you barely heard her.

Your head was too busy spinning.

“You are to remain here,” your Lord repeated. “In the employ of the na-Baron Feyd Rautha.”

Your heart dropped in a sickening way.

“You’ve been so very good to me,” the Lady said. “You’ll serve House Harkonnen very well, I am certain of it.”

“But I-I—I’m…” you paused, trying to catch your breath and quell the panic tightening your chest. “I’m loyal to our House, milady. And I want to return home, to the palace, and serve you.”

“Baron Harkonnen was insistent,” your Lord said flippantly. “It seems Feyd Rautha approached him sometime after our meeting yesterday, and this morning as we finalized the agreements, it was decided you’d be included in the negotiations. Imagine that, a fresh alliance with House Harkonnen and a fine sum for a handmaiden!”

“You…sold me?” You asked, your voice sounding incredibly small.

“Now, I’m sure you’re nervous, but really, these Harkonnens are nothing to worry about. Those nasty rumors back home are simply that, and I’m sure you’ll be well taken care of. Now, we must depart at once, and you are to be shown to the na-Baron’s chambers.”

“Ta ta, dear one!”

And just like that, your entire world was shattered.

As you followed a Harkonnen servant through the corridors, you kept your head down. You felt furious and lost, anger twisting in your gut. So much for loyalty—never before had you been made to feel so easily replaced, and yet they had given you away so willingly you could hardly believe it. Whatever negotiations had been made, whatever new deals struck, you had been deemed unimportant enough to your House to simply be left in the care of a dangerous man, and now you felt your very life was suddenly in grave danger.

“We have arrived, milady,” your guide said timidly, hunching her shoulders and clasping her hands tightly as you turned to look at her.

“Thank you,” you replied, brow furrowed slightly in confusion. “Am I to…enter?”

“Yes, milady,” she seemed to bite the words, not angrily, but in an effort to get them out quickly.

“Is Feyd Rautha inside?”

“Yes.” Came the whispered affirmative.

The bald woman was nearly trembling, and you felt as though perhaps you should be, as well. Feyd Rautha had been intimidating every time you interacted with him, and now that he had made the baffling decision to demand you remain on his planet, you were beginning to think you ought to fear him.

But he was only a man, you reminded yourself as you faced the door. Not a god. Not some supernatural being. The na-Baron was flesh and blood.

With a deep breath, you opened the door.

“You enter unannounced?” A familiar voice rasped.

Feyd Rautha was indeed inside what appeared to be living quarters, and the room seemed lavish by Harkonnen standards. A large bed with black sheets sat against the far wall, before which was a simple sitting area featuring oddly shaped sofas, all black as well. A mirror was mounted on the wall near the bed, and you chose not to wonder about its placement. You spied two doors on either side of the room, and in its center, stood the na-Baron.

“I was told to come here,” you said, voice tinged with irritation.

“And so you have,” he smirked, twirling a dagger in his hand as he approached you. "Obedient."

When he reached you, invading your space and nearly brushing against your chest with his, he caught the way your nostrils flared angrily and grinned. His black teeth, previously so fascinating, brought only annoyance now, much like the rest of him.

“May I ask what exactly is going on, na-Baron?”

“Oh, I simply couldn’t let you leave,” you felt his blade as the flat of it pressed up against your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “I had to have you, pet.”

“I am not a pet,” you spat, unable to contain yourself any longer. “And I demand to know exactly why I’ve been sold as one.”

The knife was pulled away as Feyd circled you. In the mirror near the bed, you could see him looking you up and down, appraising you freely now that the two of you were hidden from the rest of the galaxy.

“Your masters gave you away easily,” he said, stopping behind you. “They did not realize your true potential.”

“My potential?” You hissed, head jerking to the side to watch him from the corner of your eye. “And what might that be, na-Baron?”

In a blink, he had leaned in, rough hands suddenly gripping your sides as he brought his lips to your ear. “Call me Feyd.”

His too-hot breath on your neck and the tone of his voice caused your anger to stutter. “I-I thought only your darlings called you by your name?”

“Oh, it’s a clever pet,” he taunted, nipping your earlobe sharply. When he saw that you stayed still and didn’t flinch, he seemed pleased. “What do you know of my darlings?”

“N-nothing, I don’t even know what that means,” you answered truthfully.

“My darlings,” he began, a hand moving up to brush through your hair, short in the style of your position—former position—within your—former—house. “Are the most beautiful creatures. They are very special to me.”

You were in danger.

You knew it.

“I want you.” He said simply, pressing his lips to the back of your neck, and you knew he meant in every way. “Give yourself freely.”

“Why me?” You asked, mustering your courage to speak above a whisper.

He chuckled at that, running his tongue up your spine to the base of your skull. “You are just right, the perfect addition. You are unafraid. You have a taste for meat. And you have killed.”

You were silent for a moment, jaw squared. “I never told you that.”

His hands were creeping over your hips now, across the front of your dress. When he spoke, his voice was low and heady. “Who was it?”

Another long pause came as you wrestled with yourself, your tongue feeling too big for your mouth as you finally tried to speak.

“My father.”

As Feyd Rautha let out a guttural groan at your admittance, you stared at yourself in the mirror, and nearly didn’t recognize the person you saw.

“You and I are alike, pet,” his hands squeezed at you harshly while his nose pressed into your hair. “I killed my mother.”

A part of you felt sick at the suggestion that you were anything like the monster that was Feyd Rautha Harkonnen. Another part of you felt a strange comfort in the knowledge that you weren’t the only one in the room who had committed parricide.

“I haven’t shared that in a long time,” you admitted.

“Did he fight it?”

You could feel his arousal as he pushed his hips against you, the sensation bringing an unexpected fire to your core.

“Yes.”

“Did he deserve it?”

You stared at yourself in the mirror and saw an unexpected harshness in your eyes, the polite handmaiden now completely absent, replaced by what you had feared you truly were ever since the day of your father’s death; a killer.

“Yes.”

But if you had feared that you were bad for it, that you deserved punishment, Feyd Rautha seemed determined to prove otherwise. He turned you in his arms, never letting go, and brought his lips to yours in a greedy kiss.

“I need you now,” he breathed, almost sounding vulnerable for a moment.

“Take me,” you said against his lips, determined not to stop and think about what exactly you were doing.

If you were going to be kept and tortured by a Harkonnen prince, you may as well enjoy your last moments, right?

Feyd Rautha guided you to his bed in a way that was somehow both smooth and rough, gentle and demanding. He didn’t want to break you, but he wanted to see how far he could bend you before you snapped. He wanted to test you.

Your dress was quickly thrown to the wayside, torn by his dagger, his clothing following suit. As you lay on your back, fully bared to him, he crept over you, eyes taking over your body as he continued his earlier appraisal.

“So strange,” he muttered as he brushed his fingers over the soft hair between your legs.

“Are you…truly hairless?” You asked, eyeing his smooth groin. “You don’t…remove it?”

“Hair is…barbaric.”

You could have laughed at the irony of him of all people calling you a barbarian.

“I do not hate it on you,” he decided after careful consideration. “Perhaps you will keep this, for now.”

You had the odd feeling that you should feel grateful for the honor.

“It will set you apart from my other darlings,” his body moved over yours, eclipsing you as his hand reached between your legs.

He stroked you there, rubbing in a way that wasn’t gentle, wasn’t harsh, and wasn’t patient, all at once. When his lips captured yours once more, your mind spun—but it was a decidedly more pleasant spin than that short while ago when your entire world came crashing down. Feyd Rautha, while somewhat terrifying, was exhilarating, and as his fingers plunged inside of you and his kisses turned into demanding bites, you thought that perhaps this wasn’t so bad.

“That’s it,” he breathed, voice husky. “I want to hear you.”

Your whines and moans filled the heavy air. Feyd Rautha sought to conquer you, you realized; as you came, it wasn’t so much a favor to you as it was an ego boost for him. Either way, you benefited, and as he sheathed himself within you and his hips began rocking back and forth, you were glad for the warm up.

“F-Feyd,” you panted, nails digging into his back as you wrapped yourself around him.

He answered you with a low moan, face hidden in your neck. The na-Baron was merciless, driving into you over and over…but the heat that bloomed inside of you, that feeling that stemmed from your belly and ran all the way to your fingertips…was exhilarating.

He leaned back, one hand gripping your hip harshly, no doubt leaving bruises. The other found your throat and his fingers wrapped around it, squeezing, reminding you who he was. The heir to the Harkonnen throne. The pride of Giedi Prime.

Feyd Rautha.

Your face tingled as he held you, eyes seeking out his. The blue was nearly black, his pupils huge, like a big cat hunting in the dark. He was watching you, frenzied, feral in his ministrations, as if you were his prey and he had finally caught you. Just as your vision began to tunnel he let go and you gasped, gulping in air as he suddenly pulled out of you and rolled onto his back, manhandling you easily as you sank down onto him once more.

His hands were like a vice, pulling your hips down as he pushed up into you, still fucking you mercilessly even in this new position. You would never have expected this from him; you felt too powerful on top of him, too in control of someone who gave you every reason to assume that he wanted to be. That he would be the one weighing down on you, that he would forever and always be hovering over you as he made harsh demands. He was, truly, not as harsh as expected...not that you had ever, for a second, expected to be there with him.

He watched your tits bouncing above him, so much flesh laid bare for him to enjoy, and he soon pulled you down. When you expected him to return to your swollen lips, however, he instead moved his mouth to your chest, greedily sucking and biting your soft skin. He sank his teeth into you, reveling in your sharp gasp, answering it with a beastly groan that was so low and so loud you half imagined it must have shook the walls. The sound had your stomach twisting delightfully, your head fuzzy as Feyd Rautha pulled you closer, closer, closer, until you hardly knew where you ended and where he began. Half-formed thoughts swam in your head, none of them coherent, all of them about him as you desperately clawed at the arms that held you so tightly. He had wanted you, and now he had you, completely, all of you, in every sense of the word.

In that moment, you didn't hate it, or him, or that place; you wanted more. You wanted more of him. As your orgasm mounted, breaths coming in gasps, eyes glued to the pale man below you, you felt happy. Later, you would try to reason with yourself, tell yourself that it was simply chemicals in your brain that brought this on, but in that moment, you wanted nothing more than to do this over and over and over again with him.

"Yes," he rasped, voice muffled by your breasts. You felt the wet heat of his tongue in your cleavage, followed by the sharp bite of his teeth as he pulled you down onto himself. "Take it."

"Feyd," you gasped, eyes squeezed shut as your fingernails dug into his scalp. "Feyd!"

It came out as a half-scream as you felt the sting of his teeth, and it was enough to push you over the edge, plunging down into the abyss that was Feyd Rautha's love. His breath stuttered as his hips drove up against you, a growl sounding from deep within his chest as he came inside of you.

You felt his heart pounding as he held you, a sheen of sweat covering his smooth, pale body. You slumped over him, arms falling onto his shoulders limply. You thought you heard him laugh lightly.

"Good," he said, more to himself than to you.

He moved you easily, rolling you off of him and onto the bed as he pulled himself out. You felt slick and thoroughly used, not in a bad way, but in the way you imagined lovemaking should feel. You had never expected to feel such passion from Feyd Rautha, of all people. From a Harkonnen.

"Come." he stood and slipped his arms under you, scooping you up. Your arms immediately hooked around his neck, and as he carried you to one of the adjoining rooms, you wondered at how natural it felt to be with him now.

The door opened to reveal a steamy, dark bathing room, a large basin filled with dark liquid positioned in the floor. Feyd Rautha sank down into it and as you leaned your head against his shoulder, you heaved a sigh. The liquid was thicker than water but thinner than mud, like nothing you had ever felt before, and it was warm, soothing your bitemarks and sore muscles.

"What is this?" you managed to ask after several minutes of silence.

"Hmph." Feyd Rautha laughed, his whole body moving with the sound. "Oil and blood."

He paused, waiting for your reaction.

"...Ah." you said, wrinkling your nose for a moment as you looked down at the bubbling goo. "...It's nice."

His lips spread into a wide grin. "You don't find it disgusting, my darling?"

"It feels too nice to be disgusting right now."

Feyd Rautha moved a large hand to the side of your head and held you against him, pressing a kiss to your temple in a way that was almost tender. "Rest now. You will need it."

Too tired to ask why, you simply nodded, sinking into him as the blood bath steamed around you. If this was to be your fate now, you didn't mind it; and if he killed you tomorrow, at least your final day had turned out somewhat enjoyable.

-0-

"Do you like it?'

The question was simple, only four words, and yet it was never one you had expected to hear Feyd Rautha ask.

You had been living in his chambers for a week, sleeping next to him, eating with him, wearing what he chose and accompanying him wherever he went. You saw more of the Harkonnen palace--the training room was a frequent haunt, and you realized that it was the room you had wandered to on the day of your first conversation with him. You saw more of Feyd Rautha, as well, and you noticed how quickly he often decided to kill those around him.

But not you.

Never you.

He had yet to do anything worse than bite or scratch, occasionally bending your limbs too far when he tested your physical capabilities in his bed but always letting you go just before any real injury occurred. You often felt the smooth metal of his blades, but they never cut deep; he mentioned once that perhaps he would mark you with one soon, leave a scar that only he would ever be allowed to see, but he had yet to enact that fantasy. You weren't sure if that was good or bad.

Now, you stood before him, wearing a simple black dress that clung to your body and shone as if it were always wet, and your head felt too cold.

"I...don't hate it," you decided as you looked at your reflection.

"Good." he ran a hand over your smooth scalp.

"Will it grow back?"

"At first." he said in his accent that was growing more and more familiar to hear. "Eventually it will stop."

"And the rest...?"

He smirked, turning you to face him. "I told you, that will set you apart from my other darlings."

At the mention of their collective name, a hiss sounded from across the room.

You twisted your head to the side, spying the two women you had been introduced to three days earlier. One--who you had learned had been Feyd's the longest--sported a thick black line down her forehead today, but they were otherwise identical. They watched you curiously, bald heads tilted as they looked at you with big, black eyes. Their dresses were similar to yours, and as you glanced back at the mirror, you realized how you really didn't recognize yourself anymore.

Your teeth had been stained black already, your hair and eyebrows shaved and then the skin treated with something that the servants had explained would keep the hair away. You had already undergone one strange Harkonnen beauty treatment in what you had come to learn was a medical spa, and it was the only one that had frightened you--a strange machine had bared down upon you and done something to your eyes, injecting something that changed them and yet didn't change them, causing them to become big and black like Feyd's other darlings. You actually thought your eyesight was better now, somehow.

You matched them now, you realized, like a member of a set. Feyd Rautha's third concubine.

It was an upgrade from your last job, you supposed.

"It suits you." he pressed his lips to the base of your neck. "My darling."

"Thank you, Feyd," you said, growing more and more used to calling him by his name with every time you said it.

You felt him smirk against your skin. He was no doubt very pleased with himself, having managed to completely transform a murderous handmaiden into a sinister harpy in the course of only one week. Granted, Giedi Prime's days were significantly longer than on your home planet, but it was still a commendable haste.

"Come." he rasped in that gravelly voice you were beginning to love. "All of us. It is time for the arena."

He set off towards the door and you waited for the others before falling in behind them, moving as if the three of you had always belonged together.

"Will there be food?" one of them asked in a harsh, hissing voice.

"Yes," Feyd said gleefully.

"Hearts and lungs?" the other asked hopefully.

"Only the best for my darlings."

"Human?" she demanded clarification.

Feyd looked back over his shoulder, his eyes finding you even though he knew you had not asked the question. "Of course."

You stared back at him, swallowing hard. Human?

He grinned, and the others looked at each other excitedly. They both glanced to you and you gave the best black-toothed grin you could, not wanting to give any of them any reason to be displeased with you. Not after you had done so well all week.

Feyd Rautha led the way to the arena you had learned he loved to fight captured Atreides soldiers in, and after a short preparation (during which he killed at least two servants), a guard led him away while you and the others were taken up to a viewing room.

When you stepped inside you saw that a feast had already been laid out, platters of rare meat covering a short buffet table. As sunlight--or a lack thereof? Giedi Prime's sun continued to baffle you--light the room in that strange, black and white, infrared way, you stared at the food. You recognized it. Despite its human origins, you had no reason to be disgusted by it--because you had already eaten it, on that very first night, when Feyd Rautha had watched you cutting into your meal and commented on your presence at the dinner table.

As the others approached, picking out their favorites--lungs for one, a heart for the other--a grin found its way onto your face. Yes. Perhaps this was exactly where you belonged.

The crowd outside erupted in a roar of cheers as Feyd stalked into the sandy arena, and as you settled in next to the others to watch, you smiled to yourself. There was nowhere else you'd rather be in that moment than on Giedi Prime, eagerly awaiting the moment you could return to Feyd Rautha's chambers and celebrate his victory.

PART TWO

[nexysworld]

Chapter Summary: You finally make a decision on your relationship. Unfortunately for you it will lead to untold horrors you couldn't have imagined. Pairing: Yandere!Leon x Fem!Reader Tags: NSFW, Dead Dove, Dubcon, Kidnapping, Stalking, Smut, Unprotected Sex, Pet Names, violence, gore, MDNI, masturbation, murder, slow burn.

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You continued staring up at the ceiling recovering from the self-induced orgasm. Aftershocks made your legs twitch and tense, you wiggled them about to try and ease the sensation. Finally having the energy to roll over, your view changed from the ceiling to the wall, lined with your stuffed animals. 

Childish maybe, but you always had a fond spot for them, never having been able to throw them away. Some were old, made of patchwork with faded colors – a reminder of your childhood. Others were newer, like the overstuffed pumpkin that Derek had won you for Halloween one year, or the small teddy bear Leon had given you, a present from one of his work trips. 

Your eyes lingered on the squishy pumpkin, the memory of Derek giving it to you rushed to the forefront of your memory. It had been one of your favorite dates together, spontaneously deciding to stop by the boardwalk after dinner one evening. The scent of popcorn and cotton candy overpowered the smell of the ocean as you walked along the clackity wooden path. Halloween décor was tacked on to everything in sight, even the prizes were ghosts, pumpkins, and black cats. 

“You look good like that.” He said, flashing a smile. You tugged on the brim of the cheap witch’s hat, trying to ensure the paper thin material wasn’t going to fly off in the wind. “You calling me a witch?” You gasped in mock offense. “‘Course not baby, I would never.“ He’d doubled over in laughter, spilling the soda on his favorite

band t-shirt. “Oh shit.” He shook the black fabric with one hand trying to get some of the excess liquid off. Slapping his arm playfully, you kissed his cheek. “That’s what you get for being a jerk.” “But I’m your jerk, right?” He raised a brow leaning down to return your affection for a kiss on the cheek. “Yeah, you’re my jerk.” 

As the two of you made your way down more of the game booths something caught your eye – a huge fat pumpkin with a little spider attached to it. The thing was easily the size of your entire body, and you really wanted it. Coming to a dead stop, you tugged on Derek’s sleeve before pointing at it. “Make it up to me, win me that!” He froze for a second, a nervous laugh exiting his mouth. “I mean I can definitely try…” 

The game runner ate it up, goading Derek to play. He explained it was simple, just toss it at an angle, get the ball into the bucket and boom – prize!

The first ball bounced off the plastic basket almost hitting a child in the face. The second ball followed the course of the first one. The third one impressively flew even farther, and Derek had to run to go get it. “Again.” He said determined, though the next round didn’t fare much better. By the fourth round, you weren’t able to contain your laughter anymore, which only served to egg him on. “Come on baby, I was only kidding. I don’t need it.” “I’m going to win it, just you watch.” “If you say so.” You leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “I still believe in you, the millionth time’s the charm.”

You weren’t sure how many losses he’d suffered but you knew he’d coughed up nearly $200 and had nothing to show for it. It made your heart soar a little knowing he was willing and determined to get this for you. 

Lo and behold the last time was the charm, he’d still missed the first two shots, but the third one landed in the basket and stayed there. The smallest of the three bells rang out indicating a win and the game runner clapped behind the counter. “Congratulations!” He shouted with an exaggerated tone before taking his long hooked stick out to yank a prize down. 

It wasn’t the gigantic pumpkin, but it was just perfect in its own right. Medium sized and plump, you squished it to your chest in a hug before capturing Derek’s lips with your own. “It's perfect.”

“Mm, no you’re perfect.” He replied smoothly, wrapping an arm around you from behind as the pair of you made your way further down towards the rides. It had been getting later into the evening, things were dying down a bit. The Ferris wheel was still running and you decided to end the night on the ride together. 

The city was beautiful, sparkling likes juxtaposed against the dark buildings and streets, stars twinkling above. You could see your apartment building, and the coffee shop Derek worked at down the way. Unconsciously you snuggled closer to him in your seat, leaning your head against his shoulder. The words had slipped out of his mouth so casually you’d almost missed it, so relaxed into the moment. “What was that?” You asked softly. “I said I love you.” He replied, petting your hair. It caused your heartbeat to speed up as you registered what he’d said. The air hung heavy with the confession.

“I love you too.”

A hollow and guilty feeling erupted in your chest and made its way down to your stomach at the memory. Post nut clarity was a wild thing – and now that your head was clear everything was starting to make sense. 

Derek had been right, about everything. What did it say about you that hours ago you’d fought with him about your attachment to Leon, and now here you were getting yourself off to the very guy he was worried about. ‘I’m such an asshole.’

You squeezed the pumpkin close to yourself, taking in the still faded but lingering scent of Derek’s cologne. The urge to cry caused you to curl in on yourself for a moment, but you managed to suppress the tears behind a few sniffles. A soft breath escaped you, and you placed the pumpkin back on the shelf. 

Before you rolled back over you glanced next to the pumpkin at the small teddy bear Leon had gifted you. It was black, about the size of your hand. He said he’d brought it back from Spain on his last work trip – something you had been meaning to ask him about more in depth but never got the chance. It was cute, and it meant a lot to you at the time, but now it made your heart ache. ‘Should I get rid of it maybe? It’s not like Leon would know.’

You reached over to grab the small stuffed animal, looking it over, running your fingers against the soft fur. Something caught your eye, a red light in the left eye. It was a faded light, and you could only see it at certain angles. ‘What the –?’ You inspected it more closely, but nothing else was obviously amiss.

‘Maybe the eyes were supposed to light up or something.’ You shrugged, putting the tiny bear back where it belonged, deciding you didn’t have the heart to toss it, hoping Derek just wouldn’t notice its existence. 

Guilty and resolved to making things right, you mulled over what you’d say to Leon, to Derek. You didn’t want to abandon your friendship, but if that’s what it would take, you weren’t going to throw your relationship away – and maybe it would be better for your friendship if you weren’t so close. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Nervousness caused you to be jittery, bouncing on the balls of your feet as you stood outside his door. ‘You got this. Leon’s a good guy, he’ll understand. He’ll understand.’ You let out a deep sigh, hyping yourself up before knocking on his door. 

The second your eyes met the endless blue of his, regret washed over you from head to toe. The way he leaned against the doorframe, you’d caught him after a workout again, shirtless a sheen of sweat coating his muscles. It was the first time you’d seen him completely shirtless and it was making your brain go haywire a bit. 

Suddenly a palm was in your face, waving. “Hello, Earth to Ms. 306, you there?”  

You were snapped back to the moment. “Sorry, I was spacing out for a moment.” “You don’t say.” He laughed, standing up straight. “Well you’re the one who knocked on my door. What’s up?” “About that. The other night with Derek I uh….” How exactly were you going to explain this? “I think it’s best if maybe you and I saw less of each other.”

Hurt washed over his features. “What? Did I do something wrong?” “No, it’s nothing like that.” “I’m just confused, the guy left you at the theater and –” “I know and that was shitty of him. He just seems to think you and I are too close, and I mean I get it. I can’t say I would be comfortable if he spent as much time with another girl as I do with you.” Averting your eyes, you stared down at your feet. “I’m sorry Leon. It’s just, I do love him and I want to try and work on things ya know? Like you’re a super awesome friend and if it were up to me I’d keep things the way they are but it makes him uncomfortable…so….”

“Of course. I understand completely.” 

You swore there was a slightly strained sound to his voice, you didn’t push it though, happy that he was accepting of things. “Thank you Lee.” Like a coward, you scurried off the moment the conversation concluded.

Luckily Derek had been willing to talk things out and once you had mentioned breaking things off with Leon – if you could even call it that – his mood changed entirely. It  melted your heart to see the way his face lit up, to feel his arms around you. It affirmed in the moment you had made the right decision.

Things fell back into place like nothing had been wrong – except this time around everything was so much more smooth, a love rekindled. You found yourself talking for hours every night before bed time, laughing at dumb stories, falling asleep before the call ended. 

Date nights were becoming a regular occurrence again too, walks in the park, midnight movies. 

All in all things were great, but there was something you just couldn’t shake from the back of your mind. Every moment with Derek, every touch, kiss, conversation – it managed to abate your guilt for him, but all you could do was linger on the fact that something was just missing. 

Obviously you knew the culprit – Leon. 

Somehow, despite everything, you couldn’t shake him from your mind. You missed him terribly and he managed to invade your thoughts at the worst possible moments. Kissing Derek, you’d close your eyes and wonder what it would feel like if Leon had been on the other end.

Walking through the hallway of the battered building felt lonely without the conversations you would have and the laughter that entailed. Helping Mrs. Wilson hurt the most, having to tread to the pharmacy by foot made you miss Leon’s Jeep and the moments spent together. The few times you actually did bump into Leon or catch a glimpse of him, it hurt. 

“This is ridiculous.” You said to yourself, pulling your knees to your chest, sitting on your bed. Derek had just dropped you back home after a date, and again the only person on your mind wasn’t the one it should be. “He’s just my neighbor, a friend.” 

Letting out a sigh, you thought about the evening with Derek. He’d actually suggested moving in together now that things were getting better between the two of you. Of course you were hesitant at first, this apartment had a lot of sentimental value and leaving it behind meant taking on a new chapter of your life – it was scary. Thinking back on everything though, you were beginning to think it was a good idea. 

Everything here was reminding you of someone you can’t – shouldn’t have. Leon had been too meshed within your daily routine, and you figured a change of scenery could help with that. You could still check in with Mrs. Wilson, but not have to be reminded of him every single day. 

Resolved to your decision, you texted Derek to let him know. Not knowing why, you had the urge to tell Leon. You didn’t technically have to, and you knew that it wasn’t like you owed him an explanation – it just felt like the right thing to do. 

Still too much of a coward to face him or call, you opted to text him instead. 

‘Long time no talk. Hope ur well. :) ’

Locking the screen, you set the phone down on the nightstand, surprised when less than a minute later it buzzed with a reply. 

‘Just dandy! :) U doin ok?’

‘Yeah!’

‘U sure? not like u to txt out of nowhere.’

‘just had some news i dunno.’

‘news? hope its good lol’

‘i think so… Derek asked me to move in with him.’ 

The three bubbles to indicate he was typing popped up for a mysteriously long amount of time, making you anxious. Finally they stopped, and you waited – nothing. Thirty minutes passed by before you finally received a response. 

‘thats awesome! 👍’

Not sure how to reply, you simply didn’t. The expectation of relief after breaking the news didn’t come, but you pushed it aside. ‘Things are changing. You’ll be just fine once you’re out of here.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next time you saw Derek was about three days later – the two of you had a camping trip date planned for the weekend. With your duffel bag packed, you took the opportunity to walk  to his apartment, wanting to surprise him that morning. 

The weather was perfectly temperate and it felt nice to have fresh air and sun on your skin, without freezing to death or sweating bullets. The sounds of the city set you at ease, familiar shops and people passing you by as you made your way.

The only odd thing was Derek hadn’t replied to your text. It was just a simple ‘Good Morning’ but it wasn’t like him to not respond. Thinking he was likely just busy getting ready or slept in late, you shrugged it off. This trip was the start of something new – plans to move upon returning – and you weren’t about to let anything stop you from making it positive. Even any thought of Leon was temporarily pushed to the back of your mind. 

His apartment building was a lot nicer, and in a better part of the city. The ivory building came into view and you all but ran from the outside staircase up to the second floor where his home was. Sliding the spare key into the knob, you knew something was wrong immediately – the lights were off and the whole place just felt stale.

“Der?” You called out, flipping the living room light on. “You here?” No response came, you looked out the window to the parking lot and sure enough his car was there – no camping gear on top though. 

Making your way further inside the apartment, you looked around for any sign of him. His keys were tossed on the stained coffee table where they always were. His shoes were by the front door. There was no immediate sign of exit or entry. 

His bedroom door was closed though, something you knew was unusual – he always left it open even at bed time. 

“Der?” You called again, gently cracking the door open. The room was dark, curtains drawn and no artificial light to be found. Your eyes had to adjust for a moment before you saw the lump of human form underneath the bed sheets, comforter having been discarded onto the floor. “Baby?” You gently shook him, turning the nightstand light on to the lowest setting. The sheets were moist and sweat soaked, his brows were knitted together in his unconscious state – like a nightmare. It took a few more forceful movements before he finally stirred, shooting up in the bed. “What the fuck!? Oh…oh my god baby I’m sorry. You scared the shit out of me.” He brought his hand over his heart as he caught his breath. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I wanted to surprise you but when I came in everything seemed off. Are you alright?” “Yeah, I just wasn’t feeling well. Guess I slept in.” “You’re soaking with sweat, are you sure you’re ok to go? We can just stay in if you’re not well.” “No baby, I’m fine. I promise.” He gave you a weak smile before kissing your cheek. “Just let me take a quick shower and pack up.”

“Okay, if you’re sure. I can start carrying the gear down to the car.” He did not look okay at all. His eyes seemed more sunken than usual, skin pale and clammy. Something beyond that just felt off - but he continued to insist everything was fine. 

“Maybe just stop by urgent care real quick. I mean if you are sick maybe they could give you something for it that you can take on the trip?” “Baby, we’re halfway to the campsite. All I need is some fresh air and time with my girlfriend. I told you I feel fine.” “Alright…” You had to admit the campsite he picked was beautiful. This flat plane of grassy area set atop a hill, you could see the entire valley below including the river – the mountains and the sky were along the horizon too. It was beyond breathtaking and you could only imagine the view once the sun set and the stars began to twinkle unimpeded by the city lights. The little area was surrounded by a thick layer of trees, giving you plenty of privacy.

Awestruck by it all, the thought of Derek’s condition nearly dissipated entirely from your thoughts – he seemed to be getting better anyway, easily handling stretching out the tarp, and hammering the stakes into the ground for the tent base. 

“At least one of us is useful.” You teased, nearly getting tangled in the plastic and wiring of the tent. Attempting to bend one of the thin metal sticks down to loop into another section, it flung back whipping you in the face instead. “Fuck, ouch.” A nice thin slice of blood trickled down the stinging red mark on your face. You covered that side of your face with your sleeve. “Can you grab me the first aid kit?” 

There was no response to your request, heavy silence ringing out into the air. “Babe?” Using your good eye you looked over to where he was working on the base, he stood staring at you. “Derek? Hello?” Something about it unsettled you in a way you couldn’t describe, like a 6th sense. “This isn’t funny.” His eyes seemed darker, and his body movement frozen as he gripped the hammer in his hand, tightly. “You’re starting to scare me!”

Snapping out of it, he shook his head before smiling, posture instantly relaxing. “What are you talking about – oh my god are you okay?” He ran over to inspect you and you noted his skin felt weird and cold against your own, not like the usual wet heat you’d experience with a fever. You weren’t sure what to make of it at all, but concern grew within you. “What was that all about?” “What are you talking about?” He replied, dabbing gently at your face with the alcohol pad. A hiss left your lips at the stinging sensation. 

“You just stood there staring at me, totally spaced out.” “I don’t remember that at all.” “Derek, are you sure you’re okay? Like really okay?” “Are you going to keep asking me that this entire trip?” “No, I just….” “Look, let’s finish getting set up for the night, I promise you’ll feel better once we’re settled in.” Another quick kiss and he grabbed the part of the tent you’d been fumbling with to finish putting it together. Not wanting to be near him at the moment, you chose to take his advice, stringing up the solar-fairy lights around the trees and moving to get the campfire spot set up. 

“All done?” “All done!” He said giving you a high five. “Looks great babe, the lights are really cute. I can't wait to see them tonight.” “Me either.” You replied, kissing him – the cold clammy feeling still there. 

There were still a few hours left in the day before sundown, so you opted to explore along the trail for a while. Derek seemed okay initially, his breaks were paced out in a way that made sense. As the day turned to late afternoon though, his breathing seemed to be more labored, breaks became more and more frequent. 

You wanted to say something badly, but knowing he’d blow you off you kept it to yourself hoping it was just a cold or something. 

By early evening, he was looking rough, red veins in his eyes accentuated by deep purple bags, shivers running through him despite the air having become more humid. His bouts of spacing out became more frequent too – randomly staring off into space nodding as if he was in agreement with some invisible thing. 

The worst was when he’d disappeared for 30 minutes on a piss break. You’d found him face first against the tree, urine on his shoes, cock still in hand. Even the sound of your voice didn’t stir him from the spot – nor did shaking his shoulder. 

It was another 5 minutes before he snapped out of it this time, smiling at you? “How’s your eye feeling?” Was all he asked as he zipped himself up. 

A fear stitched itself together within you and more and more you were working on ways to get out of here – to get him some help because something was not right and it definitely wasn’t a cold. This was beyond your comprehension or ability to assist with.

As night began to shadow the area, the two of you made it back to your campsite. The lights you'd hung glistened against the backdrop of the dark woods giving you enough light to set up the fire. Insisting on it, you tucked Derek beneath a thick blanket on the camping chair and begged him to rest.

You considered calling 911, but the thought of all the lights and sirens worried you that it might spook the clearly ill man or provoke him. What you really needed at the moment was advice because you frankly didn’t know what to do, but you were scared.

“Here, drink this.” You said handing him the thermos of now heated soup. “Just try to rest for a bit.” You kissed his forehead. He was getting worse now, feeling like he had been dipped in an ice bath, you never knew a human could get so cold. You swear his veins were getting darker too, at least the ones around his neck – but it could’ve just been the low lighting. “I have to go to the little girl’s tree, I’ll be back.” You assured him, walking until you hoped you were out of earshot. Your phone was gripped tightly in your hand as you paced trying to figure out the best course of action. ‘Can 911 even make it out here? Do people really call 911 over a sick person?’ 

“Fuck, I don’t know what to do.” Unlocking your phone, you squinted, eyes adjusting to the overwhelming brightness of the screen in the dark area. “Who would?” You scrolled through your contacts list at least 5 times – only one name ringing in your head. “I mean he works for the government – not that I know what he does exactly … but maybe?” 

The phone rang with a crackling sound indicating the poor connection from the wilderness – relief flooded over you as the other end of the line picked up. “Leon, thank god. I know this is wildly inappropriate given everything but I need –” Before you even finished you realized he couldn’t hear you. The staticky noise picking up, his voice echoing in and out sounding robotic. The line disconnected on it’s own and the top corner read ‘no signal.’ “Fuck!” You kicked the trunk of the tree in front of you.

“Babe?” The sound of Derek’s voice brought you back, it sounded so weak and hoarse. “I’ll be right there.” You yelled back. “Babe?” He called again. “Babe I’m scared.”

The words made you shiver, the hair on your neck raised – it sounded like Derek, but not at the same time. You still forced that feeling aside and marched back to camp, legs feeling like sand bags as you made them move against your own will. 

“What’s wrong –”

You stopped just behind the tent, he was standing there facing you, the fire illuminating his skin. “Babe, I’m scared.” He repeated again, though his face held no emotion – completely expressionless. Dark black vein made spiderwebs along his skin, running from his arms up onto his face. His irises looked black, red blood vessels in both eyes popped making him look like a demon. The corners of his mouth had blood dried to them. 

He coughed into his hand, more blood coming out. “Help me.” He reached a hand out towards you. Instinctively, you stepped back away from him. “Help me.” He repeated again stepping forward directly into the campfire – unphased by the flames that were licking away at his clothing, his skin. For each step he took forward, you took one back, legs shaking as silent tears spilled. A visceral fear like you’d never experience before sent shockwaves throughout your entire body. 

He brought two burning hands to his head, the flames catching at his hair while he continued to stumble forward at an uneven pace. “My head. It’s splitting my head.” His voice became warbled as he spoke, like his tongue was suddenly too big for his mouth. “You’re scaring me….” You managed to squeak out, barely above a whisper. 

“IT’S SPLITTING MY HEAD!” He shouted this time, head twisting to the side the sound of his neck cracking. His features began to warp, nose pulling to the left, mouth twisting, eyes swirling as the flesh tore and split apart – the sound of wet tearing making you feel ill. 

A small worm-like thing poked out of the top of his head, before it darted out, growing and growing in size. A second later his head finally tore an explosion of tentacles waving around in the air, like purple blood worms dancing above the neck of his burning body. His features, the ones you knew so well were twisted amongst the new flesh. 

The now sideways mouth opened into a hiss, long tongue slithering out like a snake. Warm urine trickled down your leg against your will, fear paralyzing any movement or rational thought. There was no comprehension of what was in front of you. 

Despite the flames melting the flesh of the body, it didn’t seem like it was going to stop anytime soon. A tentacle whipped itself forward, slapping against the tree above you, nearly hitting you. The slimy slapping sound was enough to get your legs moving, despite how wobbly they were. 

You took off into the dark of the woods, leaves crunching beneath you. Shadows danced around your vision in the moonlight that only casted down between the canopy of the trees. The yellow light behind you mixed with the gargling and fleshy noises told you the creature was behind you in pursuit. Branches and bushes whipped your skin leaving you with cuts and welts you couldn’t feel through the adrenaline – path lost you just went as long as you could.

You saw the opening to the camp parking lot, the low streetlamps like a guiding star. “Help!” You shouted, waving an arm as you ran. “God help me!” You screamed again hoping someone would hear you. In your haze you hadn’t noticed the overgrown root curled out of the ground, it caught your ankle right before you made it to the cement of the parking lot.

Your face hit the yellow barrier of the closest spot, a crunching pop against your nose, iron infecting your sense of smell. When the stars stopped buzzing around your head, you looked down to see your ankle still caught under the root, twisted and purple – bone sticking out through the side.

The hissing sound told you the creature wasn’t far behind, the tips of the tentacles appearing just within your now hazed vision. Coughing on the blood that spilled into the back of your throat via your likely now broken nose, you tried to crawl backwards, but couldn’t the pain in your ankle too great. The creature was right above you now, drool and slime dripping down onto your face as they wriggled around. Closing your eyes to brace a loud explosion sound rung out, all parts of your face and exposed skin suddenly covered in sticky and warm liquid. Cracking an eye open, you saw the body of the creature as it hit the ground. 

Looking down at yourself, you were wearing blood and teeth and other viscera that had splattered against you. Your hand shakily reached into your tank top feeling at the squishy thing that landed in your bra. 

Bile worked its way out of you upon discovering the eyeball in your hand, tossing it before losing the rest of your stomach contents out onto the open ground. In too much shock and shaking, your vision went black as you slipped into unconsciousness. 

~~~~~~~~~

Head reeling you refused to open your eyes, purposefully scrunching them shut against the invading sunlight. You felt like you’d been hit by a bus, every part of you was either sore or stung. As your brain slowly started coming to, the first thing you realized was the smell – out of place but familiar. That spicy and intense cologne – Leon?

‘But why would Leon be in your tent?’ The image of the blonde appeared in your mind making you giggle a moment. Then it occurred to you, you were fully conscious. Confused you opened one eye and then the other, wincing as they adjusted to the light. 

It wasn’t your tent. It wasn’t even your apartment. You sat up as quickly as your mangled body would allow, heart rate picking up again. “Hey there, you’re finally awake.” Snapping to the door you saw him there, a look of concern on his face. “Leon?” “In the flesh.” He said softly making his way over to you, sitting on the side of the bed. “Where am I?” “In my apartment. How are you feeling?” “What happened?” “I was hoping you could tell me that. You called me frantic, when I finally found you, you were hurt and completely out of it. Had to pull some connections to make sure the hospital would even let me take you home.” “What? Where’s Derek?” “Who are you talking about sweetheart?” “Derek? My boyfriend, he and I were camping and he had a cold and then he turned into a monster and…and…” “Shhhh.” He soothed, rubbing your back. “Hey, its okay, you’re safe now there’s no monsters. You’re okay, I’m here.” He adjusted himself so he could pull you closer into him encompassing you with his warmth and frame. 

The weight of his arms around you and the sound of his voice soothed you frantic mumbling as you sobbed into his chest, wetting the cotton fabric with snot and tears. He paid no mind, not letting up on the affection until it died down into sniffles and hiccups. You clung to him like a koala to a tree, desperate to feel better in some way, so overwhelmed with everything. 

Sleep quickly overtook you again, sleeping into dreamless unconsciousness against his form.

As always this is inspired by @explorevenus fic Something Permanent as well as @gigabyte-flare, @girldungeon, and @lipglossanon's work. @elfven-blog was so kind as to help find the banner pics. Love them all, go check out their work.

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[auspicioustidings]

The Eyes of God

Summary: You are a researcher separated from your group and hypothermic in the mountains. It would be better you had died than be taken into the remote Monastery nearby.

Words: 1.7k

CW: Catholic horror, non-con (for context there is oral sex that is very much unwanted, starts with reader unconscious so somnophilia), exploitation, non-con medical procedure, mentions of cannibalism.

Please be extremely mindful of the tags here, I am not messing around when I say this is horror. Alejandro and Rudy here are not going to be fun, attractive bad boys. I am being so dead ass when I say this is dark.

He sends out his command to the earth; his word runs swiftly. He gives snow like wool; he scatters frost like ashes. He hurls down his crystals of ice like crumbs; who can stand before his cold? Psalm 147:15-17

--

The blizzard had come without warning to steal away all of your senses. There was no sight but for the white in front of you, no sound but for the howling cold, no smell but that of ice, no taste but your own dry fear on your tongue and no feeling at all. How long had it been since you had been separated from your group? Seconds, days?

You knew the signs of hypothermia, had trained for the harsh conditions of this unexplored mountain, but your memories of it all scattered to the corners of your feebled mind as you shuffled slowly and aimlessly forward. Every step was a fight against an impossible foe, God like it it's strength. There was something in the white, a glow. You needed to reach it, you needed to reach it more than you needed oxygen.

Everything is too hot, you are burning.

--

Your nakedness shall be uncovered, and your disgrace shall be seen. I will take vengeance, and I will spare no one. Isaiah 47:3

--

"What have you brought before the eyes of God?" Alejandro asked of the man holding a naked figure tight to his chest.

"Wis hunting Father, as ye had asked" Soap replied, "found this woman naked in the snow."

Soap had found you as you started to tear at your clothes. He had watched. The temptations of the flesh had come unbidden to him, blood thickening his cock as your pale flesh met the deathly cold skin to air. It was kindness in the Lord's name to save you; at the Monastery they could cleanse you of this sin, of your whoredom. Make you clean so you could meet your end in a state of Grace. That was what he had told himself as he held you tight to his body, thinking if he could make you one flesh to save you from this cold he would.

"You've brought us something sinful Brother" Rudy said, emerging from the shadows and gazing hatefully at your nakedness.

"He has been righteous no Rudolfo? Something sinful is ripe for purification of the flesh and soul" Alejandro said, coming closer to run a hand up your arm and delighting in the coldness of your skin. A challenge from above he thought, sent to them on the brink of death to bring back and make whole.

"Of course Alejandro. Leave her here then, that we may make her well first."

Soap did not want to leave you with them. He knew that the Fathers could be cruel to sinners, they were so very cruel to him. He knew it was to serve a greater purpose. The unworthy and sinful must endure mortification of the flesh. But you were so soft and delicate in his arms, so decidedly feminine in comparison to everyone here. Did Adam feel like this when he willingly ate the sin offered by Eve?

"By one man's disobedience the many were made sinners. Is this pride Brother? Alejandro, perhaps we should call upon Ghost, ensure this is not able to spread as a sickness."

Soap felt the holy fear of God then. He loved Ghost as David had loved Jonathan, the covenant between them unselfish and everlasting. He felt at his most tested when he was called to watch him be purified. The last time Soap had disobeyed, the Fathers had hung Ghost on a hook and in the end taken a rib as God had taken Adam's rib. Only Ghost had not been deeply asleep as Adam had. His anguish had been loud and still tormented Soap even now after the place had been closed up with flesh.

He looked down at you, your eyes slowly blinking now that there was heat infusing into your skin. Perhaps this is what the Fathers had done with that rib, created another test for him. He laid you gently, reverently, on the alter.

"There now, it is not pride Rudolfo, merely care. By one man's obedience the many will be made righteous. You may go Soap, go to Ghost and pray."

Soap bowed his head in thanks before leaving. Ghost would be preparing his catch by now, no doubt he would have followed orders exactly and hunted down your group properly unlike him in his weakness for you. The Fathers had been diligent in teaching Ghost Genesis 9:2-3 after all.

--

So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire. James 3:5

--

The first thing you felt was pain, followed swiftly by panic. You blinked rapidly then slowly, willing your brain to connect properly to your optic nerve and process where you were.

Staring at the ceiling. You felt your body on a hard surface, you were laying down. There was an unbearable pain in your chest and as you tipped your head forward to look you started to whine on each of your quick exhales, terrified. There was a tube piercing into your flesh, liquid flowing through it. The pain was dull and throbbing. You were completely naked, your skin illuminated and glowing from the hundreds of candles surrounding the alter you were laid on.

And then the true horror of it, two men dressed in the garb of priests, lapping languidly between your legs.

The third feeling was the perverse pleasure that came from their tongues on you. The animalistic sounds of wet lapping against slick folds. Your body did not feel like your own, your movements sluggish and heavy against your commands. It was like looking through a kaleidoscope and trying to see the original image, a sickly feeling of futility. Still, you stubbornly willed your panic to aid you and focused on lifting a hand to push away the men.

One of them lifted his head, chin dripping with you. In your delirium you swore his eyes were fully black, his teeth sharp and oozing ichor. Perhaps in any other scenario he would be handsome, a young man looking at you from between your legs. But not this one, not in the scenario where your hand finally reached his head to give a weak and pathetic push. Not in the scenario where he grabbed your wrist and twisted so hard it made you forget the pain in your chest.

"And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off" he said, his voice ricocheting off of your skull and echoing there. It was too loud, too quiet, too soft, too rough. "Is that you yearn for? For me to relief you of your sin?"

You cried then, knowing deep inside you from his smooth grin that he would cut pieces off of you and consider it holy.

You are in a nightmare and you cannot wake up.

The hand dropped away to your side, terrified into submission. He went back to his task and now that you were conscious the rough texture against your clit made you want to throw up. You hated that it distracted from everything, that it felt good. Perhaps it was because the two of them were so close to one another in their efforts, but it felt like something wet and forked against you.

Maybe you could see salvation if you looked around, something to focus on other than the twisted flesh of your body and the twisted pleasure given by those pressed against it. Instead your eyes only landed on figures in the shadows.

Two men. One older and one younger. Looking on with something between horror and eroticism. The younger of them set his eyes to the ground when you caught them and sobbed out for some sort of help. The other took him by the scruff of the neck, pressing a forehead to his and mumbling something about Peter 5:8. After a moment they both returned to watching in silence. You could see it in them, the same fear you felt. The fear of something judging and all powerful bearing down.

It was as if the men lapping at you knew of your fear, as if they took pleasure in those who feared them. Their clever tongues were all at once precise and messy, forcing your body to ascend to a peak your mind found repulsive.

You came like it was written in scripture that you must; inevitable, horrific and erotic all the same.

"There now, warmed by the light of the Lord" came a voice. You felt your eyes move to the source against your will, seeing the second man now and feeling a primal fear at his face, blacked out with a golden painted skull catching the light. Below his chin was smudged obscenely.

He reached up and for a moment you thought he might caress you gently. In your state, you felt greed for such a gesture. The noise that left you was inhuman as he pulled the tube from your chest.

"Brother Price, fix up our guest and take her to her cell won't you?"

Price did as he was told, Gaz in tow. He wondered what name they would give a thing like you. You would be quick to learn the ways of this place he thought, not like him or the others. It had taken so much to redeem them into something that might see the Grace of the Almighty one day. He did not want that for you. He knew with certainty that Gaz did not either, the man had nearly went into a state of sin watching you. Price knew better than to feel anything like Pride, but at the very least he was pleased that he had been able to stop him from going to you for comfort.

It was such a wicked thought, but in his heart he felt it would have been better for you had Soap taken you for meat rather than for saving. It was a difficult and painful thing, being saved by the Fathers here.

--

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Peter 5:8

But the one who endures to the end will be saved. Matthew 24:13

[the-cult-of-russo]

Such a Softer Sin (Part 19)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Warnings: I’m not specifically tagging this one, if you’ve seen the show, nothing will shock you. Smut will happen eventually so minors DNI, thanks.

A/N: I hope this chapter soothes some of the wounds I’ve given you lmao

—-------

You stared out of the window, curled in the chair beside it as you just sat there. It had been a few days and you’d hidden out the entire time in Billy’s room.  A vague part of you was aware you hadn’t really grieved, that you’d stuffed your grief in a box and buried it six feet deep but it was the only way you were getting by. You didn't feel like you could face anyone yet. You didn't want to have to see people and you remembered their screams of horror as you ripped Aurora’s heart right out of her chest. You were supposed to be Queen now, what kind of Queen were you to do such a thing in front of people? You didn’t regret the act itself but you knew you could have been better, done better, for the people you now served. You weren't sure if they thought you were a monster or not and you were scared to find out. You hadn’t seen Billy much during the days as he was still King and he had a lot to deal with. Things had finally come back to order now the culprit was dealt with, the fear of who would be next dissipating in the wind. Atticus’ face hit you and you closed your eyes with a deep inhale, forcing it to leave. You didn't want to think about it. While not seeing him in the day, Billy would have food sent up to you to make sure you were eating and as soon as he was done with his work, he came to the room you were now sharing with him. Sleeping next to him, wrapped in his arms, was the only comfort you found and you felt gratitude for how he'd been with you. He hadn’t judged you for what you did, hadn’t forced you to talk about it either. He’d just hold you as he told you he was there for you, that it would all be okay. Your memories of being mid shift were a little fuzzy around the edges but you still remembered most of it. You remembered how he’d cared for you and it made your chest ache at the thought. Before you ever met him, you’d thought he was cold and merciless and while he was when it called for it, he wasn’t with you, never had been. There were a lot of mixed feelings inside of you because you knew if you’d never come here, you’d still have Kos and Atti by your side and a large part of you mourned for that back so deeply that you had to ignore it or it would rip you apart limb from limb. But if you’d never have come here, you wouldn't have met Billy, never have met your mate and you had no idea why you deserved a mate so perfect or wonderful. You’d never have met Frank, Karen, Curtis, Micro or Azalea, all of which you’d come to learn in the days hiding out in here cared about you. They’d all come to see you at some point, make sure you were okay. Frank was the one hand delivering food to you everyday and you knew he didn’t need to. He was Beta here, such things were beneath him but he’d come with food and sit with you while you ate as he spoke about things that couldn't connect to what you’d been through and you appreciated it. You were both bitter and grateful for being here, bitter and grateful for the hand you’d been dealt and it was a very confusing mixture of feelings to process. You kept telling yourself that Kos wouldn't want you to mope, that he wouldn't want you to dwell on this and if he was here, he’d be telling you to push through it. That you had to do it for him. So you pushed your grief down because you knew eventually you’d have to leave this room and you’d have your duty as Queen, you didn't have the luxury of hiding away forever. 

You heard the door knock and looked over to it, knowing it wasn’t time for Frank with food. It didn't mean he wouldn't just turn up sometimes though or that it wasn't one of the others.

“Come in,” you called out and you watched as the door opened, Azalea slipping inside. You hadn't seen her since everything happened and surprise took over your face. You were happy to see her. She opened her mouth but shut it promptly and you wondered if she was about to ask you if you were okay and then realized it was a ridiculous question. Instead, she moved over and perched herself on the edge of the bed to face you. You knew how by the book she was, knew she’d never dare sit on the King’s bed normally, but her face was the picture of concern as she gazed at you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N… for everything you’ve been through,” she murmured sadly and your eyes snapped back to the light blue sky outside, chest tightening uncomfortably. You didn’t say anything, couldn't find your voice but she pushed on.

“You're the strongest person I know. You’ve been through so much and yet you're still standing. I admire you so much… You are the perfect wolf to be Queen,” she murmured vehemently and your head whipped to her again with wide eyes. The words made a lump form in your throat. You didn't feel strong at all right now, you felt weaker than you’d ever done, yet she was looking at you with such clear eyes that you knew she genuinely believed her words.

“Thank you,” you whispered and she gave you a sad smile. 

“Everyone’s been asking after you, they want to make sure you’re okay. Everyone’s saying you’re a hero,” she informed, a wry smile tugging at her lips and you snorted mirthlessly. 

“I don't much feel like one,” you confessed and she looked at you sadly. You sighed, looking back out of the window and you could feel her eyes burning holes into you.

“They found the witches,” she said and you turned to look at her with breakneck speed, hope and curiosity etched onto your face.

“One of Karen’s spells worked and they located them. The King’s men went out and saved them, they’re on the castle grounds now under the King’s protection. The moon’s been fixed,” she added with a smile. Relief swept right through you at the news that as least one thing was over with, one thing had gone right. You wondered why Billy hadn’t told you but you had an idea as to why. You’d been numb the past few days, forced yourself to be as it was the only way of getting through the worst of the feelings and it had left you a little cold. You’d barely spoken at all as you’d allowed him to comfort you and even when Frank came and spoke to you, he was the one doing all of the talking as you sat there listening intently, throwing out one or two words occasionally. He was probably waiting until you were a little more receptive to conversation. 

“Your pack have been worried about you,” she uttered after you found yourself lost in thought for a while and you felt that itching pain in your chest again. You knew you should go and see them after everything that happened, you weren't the only one who would be mourning the loss. They’d lost their Alpha and their Gamma and their Beta was becoming Queen. It was a lot to deal with and especially after what you did to Atticus, you felt like you needed to see them. Part of you worried they might hate you for it, worried they thought you were a monster and you tried to ignore it. It would be far too easy for you to hide away forever and not address any of it, you certainly wanted to. But you couldn't, you couldn't be selfish like that. 

When Azalea left the room, you sat in the chair for a long while as nerves bloomed in your belly. 

“Sometimes in life, bad things just happen. There is no sense to why, it just is. If you allow yourself to let it bring you down, you’ll never beat it, never overcome it. You're strong, Y/N. You’ve already overcome so much, don’t let this be your downfall.” Kos’ voice rang out in your head, words he’d spoken to you before after a pack member had died in battle and you’d taken it personally. You knew Kos had too, yet he’d still made time to help you, to comfort you. You tried to let them soothe you, to give you some confidence. You forced yourself to stand before you sent a mindlink to your pack, telling them to meet you at the pack house and tried to not be nervous about how they might react. You sat there a moment longer, psyching yourself up to face the world before you stood, leaving the room. You were slow as you went, dread in each step and every worker you came across seemed pleasantly surprised to see you out and about again, giving you smiles as they bowed their heads to you. When you got outside, you took a deep breath of the crisp fresh air, letting it fill your lungs in a calming way. You’d missed being out here. You weren't one to be cooped up no matter how you were feeling. You made your way to the pack house and up the porch steps, pushing the door open to see them already there and waiting for you. Some of them were already crying and your chest seized up. Leanna was the first to approach you, running over as she wrapped her arms around you sobbing. You felt something crack inside of you as her arms came around you and held you tightly. You could feel their pain, their loss and it brought your own to the surface as tears fell down your face. When she moved away, every member came over, hugging you tightly and telling you they were sorry for your pain.

“We’re sorry you had to be the one to deal with Atticus. You made the right choice after what he did, what he did to Kos… but it shouldn't have fallen on your shoulders. He was your best friend,” Damon frowned at you, sympathy all over his face and you looked away quickly as you wiped your eyes, trying to ignore the stinging in your chest. You'd been worried they might think you a monster but they were supportive of your choice after what he had done.

“I’m glad it was me. It hurt more than I could ever put into words but I needed that closure. I needed that justice for Kos,” you admitted and he nodded, reaching out and squeezing your arm. You meant your words too. It had been a harrowing experience to have to murder your own best friend that way but you knew your wolf would never have been satisfied if it had happened by the hands of another. And you had a pretty big feeling that Billy would have been more than happy to do it for you after the betrayal and pain Atti had forced you to endure. For the fact you could have died out there to the vampires that night. 

“We’ll follow you no matter what, you’re our Queen,” Viron said firmly, his eyes meeting yours with determination and it felt like a weight had been lifted from your chest as you gave him a tearful smile. You knew this was a big change for them now on top of the grief they were feeling. They were essentially left without an Alpha but you knew with them being here and with them being your family, they’d now be part of Billy’s large pack, the Royal pack. He was their Alpha now, Frank their Beta.

You left the pack house feeling at least a little better and still ignoring the rest of the feelings. You stood on the porch for a moment and found yourself missing Billy. Now feeling the mate bond, the pull to him was strong and you could feel his frustration with whatever he was currently doing. You knew you should let him work, yet the deep need to see him, to be with him, clawed at you and your feet carried you to the castle and back up the steps. You found him in his office, his head whipping up to look at you as you walked in and he looked happy to see you out of the bedroom.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked softly, a fond yet slightly worried smile on his face and his never ceasing care for you still astounded you. You gave him a tentative smile as you walked over and he watched with curious eyes. The mate bond made any hesitation around him leave, no longer unsure of yourself around him or what you could and couldn't do. He was your mate and he was yours. You moved to sit in his lap sideways and his eyes lit up, a delighted smile by your actions on his lips. You wrapped an arm around his shoulder and one of his arms wound around you, the other hand settling on your thigh and his touch grounded you. You cupped his cheek and leaned in, placing a soft kiss to his lips and he responded instantly. The kiss was slow and soft and when you pulled away, he was staring at you in wonder and you felt so much love that you thought you might burst. The smile on his face was more radiant and beautiful than the moon itself and you smiled back, your hand toying with the hair at the base of his skull.

“I missed you,” you confessed, word a mere murmur and his eyes softened as he nuzzled your cheek affectionately. 

“I missed you too,” he smiled, his arm tightening around you.

“I spoke to my pack,” you informed him and he looked surprised. 

“They were supportive about everything, I was worried what they might think,” you admitted and his hand smoothed up and down your thigh in a comforting gesture.

“Everybody loves and respects you here,” he said sincerely and it made you smile a little. You knew it would take some getting used to.

“I think we should do the ritual,” you murmured and his brows rose.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about the war and I just… I think it’s best to get it done now before it’s too late,” you shrugged and a happy and relieved smile graced his face. You knew he’d been worried about it all and now he had one less thing to stress about.

“I’ll get it all ready for tonight,” he grinned and all you could do was look at him. He was absolutely breathtaking and you allowed yourself to take the comfort he gave you from the bond. It was so strange to feel it now, feeling something so powerful and so certain and it was unwavering. Your hand slid from the back of his neck and to his face, watching in wonderment as your fingers grazed his cheeks and it felt like tiny sparks were prickling at your fingertips. He sat there with a little smile on his face, eyes bright as he watched you take it all in, awe on your face.

“I love you,” he murmured, adoration all over his face so openly that you wanted to stay in this moment forever. A wide smile split your face despite everything you’d been through and you knew only he could bring you this comfort and peace.

“I love you too,” you replied easily, feeling it down to your bones. He pulled you down for another soft kiss and you just wanted to melt into him. When he pulled away, he rubbed his nose against yours before placing a sweet kiss to it that made you smile. You’d never have thought the Mighty King William to have a soft side.

“I’ll have Karen and Azalea come by to help you get ready later,” he said, stroking your cheek and you nodded.

“You’ll be wearin’ a dress,” he added, a sheepish smile on his face and you groaned, making him chuckle. 

“Fine, I guess. It’s a special occasion and everything,” you huffed, slightly playful as despite your dislike of dresses, you knew you’d wear them everyday if he wanted you too. After sharing one last kiss, you left him to his work and went back to the room as you thought about tonight.

There were a few reasons why being immortal was an easy choice for you and the biggest one was Billy. You knew how he worried for you and now you felt the bond at full force, you didn't ever want to part from him so it was a no brainer. There was also the added bonus of making you even more lethal in war if you couldn't die and the prospect had your wolf growling in anticipation for it. They wouldn't know what hit them. As you sat on the bed, you tried to think more positively about everything. You’d lost a lot but things were changing. Kos had told you that he knew you’d be a good Queen and that’s exactly what you planned to do. You couldn't let this keep you down, you had to fight because that was what you did, what you always did. It could be easy for you to slip into a hole of turmoil over the betrayal you’d felt and for everything you’d lost but you wouldn't allow it to happen. You’d lost and you’d gained and change was always an uncomfortable process, but you’d push on and push through because the only other option was to roll over and die and like hell you’d do that. You didn’t come this far just to give up. You wouldn't allow Atti and Aurora to win even in death. They’d paid for their crimes and you had to move on from it now, nothing else could be done. The idea of moving on from Kos was a bitter pill for you to swallow and left a harsh pain in your chest. You found the urge to speak to Selene clawing at you, to ask her about Kos. You had no idea what the afterlife held, you didn't know what you believed but you needed to know if Kos was okay, wherever he was. You’d heard about what happened to his mate the day before after some workers had been talking about it as they walked past the room and it had wounded you deeply. Although now you had Billy, you knew you would have done the same thing. Your life would be meaningless if you lost him too, you knew you couldn't handle it. Were they together in the afterlife? You hoped so. 

That night, you were nervous as the girls fussed over you, getting you ready. The dress they’d put you in was the purest white you’d ever seen, the hem reaching the floor with some lace accents. It reminded you almost of a nightgown. An incredibly beautiful and fancy nightgown, but still. The gown was the only thing you'd be wearing and you’d been shocked by the lack of underwear but Karen told you that the dress was sacred and it was the only thing that could be on you. They’d gushed over you, telling you how pretty you looked, how you looked like a Queen and you’d felt bashful under their compliments as they fussed over you doing your hair and rubbing cream on you that smelt an awful lot like ylang-ylang. They were both excited, you plain nervous and Karen had been zipping around the room like she’d been snorting sage.

“I’m so happy Billy found his mate,” she mused with a smile as she ran a brush through your hair. Her eyes locked with yours through the mirror and you felt warmth bloom in your chest.

“He’d been looking for you for so long and now he’s so happy. I’ve never seen him like this,” she admitted.

“I’m happy too,” you confessed with a smile and the girls sounded a chorus of ‘aw’s that made your cheeks heat up.

“Just wait until they have babies,” Azalea sang playfully and Karen’s face lit up as she turned to look at Azalea.

“Can you imagine it? Their little tiny Russo pup running around?” she snorted and you blinked at the vanity in front of you, startled by their words. You hadn't really thought about any of that and as you sat there listening to the girls talk among themselves about if the baby was a boy, he’d take the crown when he was of age, you found your head spinning. Karen mentioned how Billy couldn't wait to be able to take the back seat when the time came and you realized then that he’d not only been longing for his mate, but for a son too. You couldn't seem to get over the revelation that you were supposed to have kids with him even if you knew it was stupid, of course you were supposed to. As you sat there thinking about it though, something tugged at you. The wolf inside of you wanted to bear him a child, needed to. Something so deep and primal that you knew it was your duty as his mate and Queen. Your mind supplied you with images of him with a baby and it made you smile to yourself. He had so much love to give and you knew he’d be a great father. You didn't have too much time to dwell on the bombshell that had been dropped on you as Karen informed you it was time. You felt anxious as you stood, smoothing out your dress.

“You look perfect,” Azalea smiled warmly and Karen hummed in agreement. You smiled shyly, taking a deep breath.

“Okay, I’m ready,” you murmured and they both smiled at you before leading you out. They took you down to the door of the temple room and you stared at the door anxiously for a moment. No one else seemed to be around which was unusual given the fact there were always people milling around in the castle, especially the workers but you were glad as you stood there in your flowing gown and bare feet. 

“Good luck,” Karen smiled at you, moving to give you a hug before Azalea did the same. They left then and you blew out a breath before opening the door and walking down the steps. 

The white marble room was glowing with the light of many candles scattered around and as you walked inside, Billy was standing there in all his glory, only in his pants. He looked every bit a Demigod in that moment as the orange glow of candlelight danced across his skin and he turned to you with a bright and loving smile. He held his hand out to you and you stepped in, knowing he could probably feel your nerves. You clasped his hand and he pulled you towards him, looking down at you softly. 

“The ritual for you will be a little different to the others. You’re my Queen and you won’t just be immortal,” he explained and your brows rose in surprise. 

“What will I be then?” you asked curiously and he smiled, moving to stroke your cheek.

“You’ll be stronger and faster, a little Lycan in you as the Queen,” he supplied, a wry grin pulling at his lips that made you smile. You hadn't expected it but you liked the idea, like the thought of being even stronger, more unbeatable. You knew it would help with the war and you fully planned on using it to your advantage. 

“Are you ready?” he asked carefully, both of his hands now cupping your cheeks as you blinked up at his beautiful face. 

“I’m ready,” you affirmed and he smiled before he leaned down. His lips connected with yours and despite being slow like the earlier kisses, this was more sensual than soft and it set a fire inside of you as his tongue caressed your own. His hands slid down your face and you felt him start to push your dress down. It caught you off guard but you went with it, allowing him to let the dress pool the floor. His eyes devoured you hungrily and it sent a thrill right through you as your breathing picked up. His eyes flashed silver for the briefest of moments and you weren't even sure he was aware of it. They were back to almost black in a split second and then he kissed you again, more insistently this time. You gasped into the kiss, your hands splayed on his warm firm chest and you didn't realize he was backing you up until you felt the altar pressed against your back. He broke the kiss, picking you up with ease and placing you onto the altar. It was cold but you ignored it as you watched with rapt attention as he moved back and started to rid himself of his pants. Your brain had been too fuzzy the last time you’d seen him naked to really appreciate it but now you drank in every little detail of him. He was exquisite. Once fully naked and in all his glory he snatched the dagger that had been attached to his pants and you raised a brow at him, making him give you an amused smile. He hopped up onto the altar gracefully, moving you to lay down. He parted your thighs, moving to kneel between them and you felt heat sweep through your entire being at being bared to him like this, so open and vulnerable. You knew he was your mate though, told yourself you had no need to feel such things. One hand held the dagger, his other trailing up your thigh, your hip and then dipping into the curve of your waist before he brought it all the way back. You enjoyed his touch, enjoyed the electricity that tickled your skin at his touch, leaving goosebumps in its wake. 

“Repeat after me, alright?” he asked you and you nodded, laying there staring at him. 

“Sanguis meus est sanguis tuus,” he said as he made a cut on his hand. He didn't even flinch and your stomach tightened in anticipation as he brought the knife to yours. 

“Sanguis meus est sanguis tuus,” you repeated softly and he dragged the blade across your skin, making you hiss slightly. It wasn't deep by any means but it still stung and guilt shone behind his eyes for a moment. 

“Cor meum est cor tuum,” he murmured, bringing the blade to his chest and making another cut, once again unflinchingly. The guilt was back as he brought his blade to your chest between your breasts but you looked up at him with no fear.

“Cor meum est cor tuum,” you recited, wincing only a little as he cut your chest. He set the dagger down, tossing it to his pants before he took your hand and set it over the cut on his chest before he lay his over yours, hovering over you.

“Anima mea est anima tua,” he whispered fervently, his face leaning down as he brushed his lips with yours. You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach, heart hammering away behind your ribcage. 

“Anima mea est anima tua,” you repeated quietly and then he kissed you deeply. He moved his hand from your chest, settling more between your legs as he propped himself up with one arm, the other hand on your jaw as his tongue plundered your mouth. You could feel him hard against you, could feel how much he wanted you and it made your head spin. He broke away, the pair of you breathless and you could feel the air around you shift, something otherworldly buzzing in the air. He stared down at you with a burning gaze, his hand moving between you as he gripped himself, lining himself up with you but not going any further. 

“Sumus ut unum,” he said, voice strained and hoarse.

“Sumus ut unum,” you repeated, your words trailing off into a loud moan as he sheathed himself inside of you and filled you up in the best way. 

He gasped, mouth hanging open and eyes screwed shut in pleasure as he just stayed there for a moment. His eyes fluttered open, looking at you with such reverence that it set you on fire. His hand slid up your body, gripping your jaw as his lips crashed to yours. You fisted his hair, making him moan against your lips as you kissed him back deeply. He started moving, his thrusts slow but incredibly deep and you hadn't thought it was possible to feel this good before. His grip on your jaw was tight and demanding, his body commanding your attention as he moved in and out of you. He broke the kiss, teeth biting your lower lip and tugging on it a little and it made you whine needily before he moved away. He knelt up, large hands grabbing your hips as he got faster and harder. You were moaning unabashed now, breast bouncing with the force of his movements and your hands moved to grip the edge of the altar above your head to find purchase, worried he might fuck you right off the thing. You couldn't tear your eyes away from him. He was ethereal in the throes of pleasure like this, so feral and beautiful that you could barely stand it. You arched back at him, meeting his thrusts and he let out a sinful groan as his face contorted in pleasure, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips so hard that you knew he’d leave bruises. You weren’t sure if it was the ritual, the mate bond or just Billy, but everything felt heightened, every small touch amplified and you felt the pleasure building up at a rapid rate like an avalanche tumbling down a mountain. 

“Billy,” you gasped after a particularly harsh thrust and he growled before he was hovering over you once more, one hand beside your head as the other snaked behind you on your lower back and he pressed you against him more. You were both moaning, the noises echoing in the small temple and he leaned down, licking a long strip up your neck and over the mark he’d left you the last time. It made you squirm under him and he moaned against your neck, nipping his way back up to your mouth. You hooked your leg around him, pushing him in deeper and changing the angle and you gasped into the kiss, tugging at his hair as he rut into you insistently. You were dangling close to the edge with each thrust pushing you closer and closer as you tried to suck in greedy breaths between each sharp and loud moan. He rested his forehead on yours, his warm breath fanning your face as he groaned and his hand once again came to your face as he stared at you. His eyes flickered silver again, only this time they didn't change back right away and you marveled at how beautiful they were. Your lips parted in a keening moan as you felt your pleasure reach its crescendo and the grip on your face tightened. 

“Look at me,” he demanded in a growl and your eyes snapped open. His eyes were wide, so many things etched onto his face you could barely read them with your mind riddled with the feelings he was giving you but you knew your eyes were gold because you could see so much clearer. You noticed now how the candles around the room were flickering almost violently, their shadows dancing along the walls. He kept going at you just as hard and it pushed you over the edge, your back bowing as a cascade of delighted moans fell from your lips. It felt like the pleasure exploded and reverberated to every inch of your body as it hit you and Billy let out a guttural moan as he came inside of you, thrusting a few more times before he stilled and rested his forehead on yours again. You both lay there and caught your breath and you felt like you were floating. You felt like nothing else you’d ever felt and you didn't even know how to describe it. 

He looked at you adoringly, his thumb stroking your cheek before he leaned down and gave you a tender kiss. You melted into it fully, feeling calm and sated and you enjoyed the softness of the moment. There was something else lurking inside of you, a shift barely noticeable but there, like a fire burning away. When he moved away, he gave you a smile you couldn't help but mirror.

“How do you feel?” he asked you, his eyes now dark hues of obsidian again. 

“Weird,” you answered honestly and his lips twisted into an amused smile. 

“I love you,” he murmured, placing a sweet kiss to the tip of your nose and you grinned, stroking his hair. 

“I love you too,” you replied and his eyes lit up as if you were telling it to him for the first time all over again. He pulled out of you before climbing off the altar and helping you sit up. You felt slightly lightheaded, your body spent and exhausted. He put his pants back on before he scooped up the dress you’d been wearing and he came back over to you, putting it over your head and carefully maneuvering your arms though the thin straps. 

“Let’s get cleaned up,” he smiled, helping you down from the altar. You’d almost forgotten about the blood with everything else that had been going on. He helped you up the stairs and you were once again thankful to see no one in sight, you were sure you looked a mess right now. When you got back to your room, he led you to the shower, turning it on and letting it run warm for a moment. You slipped the dress off once more, watching him with a soft smile as he rid himself of his pants. 

“What?” he asked amused after he caught you staring and you shot him an impish grin.

“You’re just beautiful, am I not allowed to look?” you asked cheekily and he snorted, walking over as he caught your lips in a kiss. 

“You can look all you want,” he smiled when he moved away. You could feel his happiness and you didn't think you’d ever get used to feeling someone else’s emotions this intensely, it was hard to tell what was you and what was him. He took your hand, pulling you along with him into the shower and you sighed softly as the warm water hit you, making you relax more. He took the time to wash you gently, getting rid of all the blood. You watched him as he did it, this soft and caring look on his face as he took great care with you and you found yourself feeling lucky to have him as your mate. You didn't wind up with someone cruel or cold, you wound up with someone who had so much love in his heart that it felt almost impossible.

“I’m glad we’re mates,” you murmured quietly as he was washing one of your arms. His dark eyes snapped up to you then at your admission, a happy smile tugging at his lips that made your heart stutter.

“I’m glad too, you were well worth the wait,” he smirked wryly and you snorted, looking away bashfully as he took the other arm and repeated his motions. 

“I know there’s a lot goin’ on right now and we just did the ritual but… I was wonderin’ when you wanted to have your coronation?” he asked softly, eyes flitting to you before going back to his task. You raked your teeth over your lower lip, looking at him warily.

“Honestly… I’d rather not have one,” you admitted and his hand stilled, eyes going back to you.

“I just… There’s a war coming and after everything that just happened… it doesn't feel right for a celebration. Besides, everyone here already knows I’m Queen,” you reasoned with a shrug, hoping it wouldn't be a big deal. If he really wanted you to have one or if there was some rule stating it had to happen, then you would. You just didn't think it was necessary and if you were honest, you didn't want all of the attention. 

“Alright, whatever makes you happy,” he smiled and you felt relief hit you like a tonne of bricks that he’d agreed with you. You shot him a thankful smile, and he pressed a brief kiss to your lips.

“I’ll put out an official announcement tomorrow so all the other packs will know you're Queen. You don’t haveta do anythin’ you don’t want,” he added and you wrapped your arms around his middle. His arms came around you, one cradling your head and you sunk into him and his soothing scent. You loved him so much that it made your head spin and you didn’t love him because he was King or because he was a Lycan Demigod. You loved him because he was Billy. Billy who was fiercely loyal and cared immensely about every one of his people, even those he hadn’t met. Billy who made it his personal mission to save those of a different species he had no need to save, just because one of his closest friends needed him to. Billy who was so wounded by the death of his best friend’s family that the grief still loomed over him like a dark cloud. Billy who refused to shift because he was scared of hurting someone. You loved him because no matter the tales you’d once heard of the cold and merciless King, he was anything but. He was the most caring person you’d ever met and somehow, he was yours.

Taglist: (if you’ve been asked to be tagged and aren’t here, it wouldn’t let me tag some people.)

@firexfate

@blanchedelioncourt

@on-ya

@sunshinedaisies-anddeath

@snowkestrel

@music-indie-tv

@idaofinfinity

@sweetserendipity65

@ramadiiiisme

@k-marzolf

@celestialams

@woowwwee

@noortsshift

@rainbowgoblinfan

@mysweetlittledesire

@promnightbinbaby

@intothesoul

[littlemisskittentoes]

get to know kittentoes!

this is such a fun way to strengthen connections around the little pod of us that interact in the same fandom space! so a MASSIVE thank you to @happiness-of-the-pursuit for thinking of me to tag!

without further ado, get to know me better under the cut!

First Set

Last Song: Valerie by Amy Whinehouse

Last Film: the new Mean Girls movie!

Currently Reading: okay, this is kind of like, a two part question--

fic-wise: the PJO AU (by Rhys, Manu, and Beas ! and i'm also doing an in-depth portfolio crawl through Sarah's ao3 !

outside of fic: i'm working my way through volume five of Lore Olympus, and reading Local Woman Missing by Mary Kubica, and of course, i fall asleep every night to the RWRB audiobook, so that's a constant bip

Currently Watching: i've been informed that i'm supremely late to the game, but i just finished season one of True Detective! and, of course, i'm staying tuned for the weekly episode release of PJO

Currently Consuming: some good old h2o! the last thing i ate were some sugar snap peas!

Currently Craving: an aunt of mine makes these really really tasty salads with different sprouts and seeds, fresh tomato and cucumber from her garden, some avocado, and her own dressing. an Aunt Paula salad would slap right now

Second Set

Were You Named After Anyone?

Yes! Sarah comes from my paternal great grandmother, my middle name comes from my maternal great grandmother!

When Was The Last Time You Cried?

Mmm, two or so weeks ago i got into an altercation with one of the feral cats i take care of while trying to capture them to go to the vet. it did not go well, and i felt awful that i scared him

Do You Have Kids?

i do not! i was in a four year relationship where i took on a kind of 'step parent' role from the time the child was a newborn onward. so, i do occasionally see her. but outside of that, no. and i'm not someone that ever pictures themselves changing that

What Sport Do/Have You You Played?

sigh alright, so i played soccer as a very young child-- not great at it. tried basketball for a bit-- also terrible at that. went for volleyball-- gave a girl a concussion trying to serve overhand. FINALLY, i started cheerleading and ended up as cheer captain for a number of years!

Do You Use Sarcasm?

i think so! i'm pretty sure i use some dry humor occassionally

What's The First Thing You Notice About Other People?

probably smile, or if they have a more general welcoming aura/body language!

What's Your Eye Color?

brown!

Scary Movies or Happy Endings?

as much as i'm an absolute hopeless romantic, my go to is actually horror! i'm an adrenaline junkie and LOVE to be scared! i can easily be pursuaded into a romance movie though

Any Talents?

i'm actually a very confident public speaker. i still have some of my cartwheels and splits from my cheer days. and i'm decently okay at keeping up my score during jeopardy! lastly, i'm pretty good with some watercolor paints and a micron pen

Where Where You Born?

Northern US!

What Are Your Hobbies?

i help run a local poetry open mic night, i'm fairly active in my local bdsm scene, and i have a constant revolving door of hobbies i entertain for about a week and completely forget about (most recently it's been crystal 3d puzzles, painting book edges, and making shrinky dink earrings)

Do You Have Any Pets?

so many... i live with my parents at the moment, and they have one dog and eight cats! we also care for a colony of feral cats that live on our property

How Tall Are You?

5'3 (1/2)" ! am smol gorl

Favorite Subject in School?

english! i was also a massive studio art nerd though

Dream Job?

you know, all through undergrad and my master's program, i always said that i would have loved to have been a manuscript editor. i even had an internship helping edit poetry chapbooks! but now that i've found myself in a sphere where I get the privilege of beta-ing for a handful of friends, it feels like that skill set is already able to be used and stretched. so, i'm not super sure! maybe something with animals?

alright!! sending out a no pressure tag to some of my beloveds @inexplicablymine @read-and-write- @affectionatelyrs @gayrootvegetable @anincompletelist @leojfitz @leaves-of-laurelin @matherines @wordsofhoneydew @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @user-anakin

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

Don't Go Bacon My Heart

(Dieter x horror loving female)

A tiny little drabble and it’s cute and fluffy but sorry to anyone who loves bacon

Check out masterlist here

Bacon: you never quite understood the obsession. There was a mild obsession in Australia, but nothing compared to what the Americans had. It came with everything, as in everything; it even came on dessert which baffled you. You had never enjoyed the processed meat, fried to crispiness, always pushing it aside on the plate.

When you first requested no bacon on something, you got a look like you committed a cardinal sin. After that you tried to find the least bacon loaded dish and hide the discarded meat under a napkin. Or you went to places that focused on healthy eating, easy to come by in a health obsessed area. Things became so much easier when you made your own food at home.

In the early days of dating Dieter, you ate at places which served America’s favourite food and you felt too embarrassed to request no bacon.

“Would you like my bacon?” you would ask Dieter.

“Heck yeah, I love bacon!” and he’d happily scoff it down. Then he realised you would do this every time you had a meal together.

“Don’t you like bacon?” he’d ask.

“Not really,” you’d reply, to which he’d casually shrug in acceptance and happily chomp on any extra bacon you’d offer him.

It became a habit of sorts where he would end up with extra bacon with his meals. Then he started requesting no bacon with his order. The first time left you in shock and he’d answer you with “I need to watch my movie star figure.”

Then this became the new habit; he’d request no bacon and happily accept the bacon you were still too shy to not do so. Eventually you gained the confidence to not request bacon alongside him.

When living together, you started cooking a lot more for him. You would ask him if you could buy some bacon as you were happy to cook some for him, but he’d decline, saying he’d be happy not to have any.

“Dieter, have you stopped eating bacon because I don’t eat any?”

“Yeah, found I don’t really miss it.”

“But you love bacon. Why would you do that?”

“I love bacon, but I love you more.”

Lovingly tagging @boliv-jenta @simpingcowboy @ellenmunn @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @brilliantopposite187 @chaithetics @myloveistoolittle @cevans-is-classic

[bluejaysandblackbats]

blood on your altar

Fandom: DC Comics, Titans (fab five), Aquafam, Arrowfam

Summary: Roy Harper is haunted by a strange sight he witnessed while on holiday by the seaside.

Chapters: 2/?

Characters: Roy Harper, Garth, Oliver Queen, Hal Jordan, Dinah Lance

Relationships: Roy Harper/Garth

Additional Tags: Cannibal Mermaid AU, Sacrifice, Cannibalism as a Metaphor, Secrets, Angst, Romance, Horror, 1950’s AU

Chapter Two: Understanding

I awakened in the afternoon and dressed in shorts and a collared shirt for the beach. I brushed my teeth and shaved. All the while, I felt listless. Dinah, Ollie, and Hal were dressed already, which made me curious. “Ollie and I are headed into town… Would you like to come with us?” Dinah asked. I smiled and shook my head. 

“No thanks… I wanted to get a malt and walk on the beach,” I answered. Dinah smiled and kissed my cheek. 

“Do try to be good,” Dinah teased. 

I laughed and nodded, but inside I felt so empty. I took my satchel and walked to the nearest ice cream parlor, twenty minutes from the beach house. I sat at the counter, staring at the menu above my head. A woman there stared at me, studying me, and I frowned. “I’ll have a cheeseburger and a malt,” I ordered. 

“That’ll be a dollar and twenty-five cents, young fella,” the man at the counter replied. 

I nodded with my tongue in my cheek. “I uh… I can’t help but see that the price is steeper than advertised. The cheeseburger is forty cents, the malt’s thirty-five… And the sales tax is what? Eighteen or nineteen cents? At the most, it should’ve been ninety-four cents,” I chuckled. It was my attempt at being friendly and not bashing his head in. I could’ve. I probably should’ve, but I knew how that would’ve ended. He took one look at me and decided to impose an extra tax. 

“It’s a convenience fee,” he replied. Prejudiced, but not outwardly so. I shook my head, getting ready to stand up and leave before someone placed a hand on my shoulder. 

“I’ll pay for the kid’s meal. And I’ll have the same… So, that’d be a dollar eighty-eight,” Hal replied. I looked up, and he nodded at me. I relaxed my shoulders and raised my eyebrows at the man. 

They took their time serving us but eventually brought out two cheeseburgers and malts. We ate in silence and finished our malts before Hal escorted me outside. “I’m heading back,” Hal paused, “What about you?” 

“I’m headed to the beach,” I mumbled. Hal disappeared into the fog, leaving me with a foreboding sense of emptiness. The air was cold and crisp as I allowed a force beyond human comprehension to lead me to the shore. 

The beach stayed relatively empty, so there were parts left completely empty. I sat with my back against a rock formation, sketching what I saw the other day. Every gruesome detail was etched into my mind, coming to life again in charcoal and graphite. Pages dedicated to close-ups of his mouth. Pink lips stained red, sharp teeth built from rending flesh from bone with little effort. Bare, and unblemished legs, covered in glittering sand. Bloodied hands and fingers, staining his curved—. I puffed out air, panting as I tried to quiet the alarming feelings those images stirred up. I noticed something like a person swimming in the distance, but they weren’t moving. They stayed upright, staring in my direction. I couldn’t look away. I could hear the waves whooshing, almost whispering. 

Ocean mist kissed my skin as a mysterious force possessed me. My fingers fumbled against buttons, slipping my arms out of my sleeves while I watched the figure in the ocean. I folded my shirt, placing it atop my satchel and sketchbook. I stood, unfastening my belt, unbuttoning my pants, and shaking as I held onto the waistband of my swim trunks. I kicked my shoes off, stepped out of my pants, and tucked my socks into my shoes. I walked barefoot into something I could only describe as certain death, and the ocean carried me to the dark-haired figure. A wave hit me, immediately pulling me under, and I panicked. I knew I shouldn’t have fought it, but the fear rose inside me, burying all sense of reason. Had someone not fished me out of the ocean, I would’ve died. I quickly lost consciousness. When I came to, I saw someone staring at me. I couldn’t see clearly as I blinked away tears and seawater. 

When I reclaimed my senses, I watched a man walk into the water wearing my shirt. He was naked from the waist down and turned around once to look at me. He spared me. Paralyzed with curiosity, I watched as he disappeared into the fog. 

I clutched my chest, realizing how close I had come to death twice in a few minutes. I got dressed in my pants and shoes, grabbed my bag, and rushed toward the house. Dinah sat on the porch, having a drink, but I couldn’t stop to greet her. I rushed past Ollie and Hal into my room and grabbed a change of clothes before heading to the bathroom. Ollie knocked, startling me. “Are you alright?” Ollie questioned. 

“I’m fine,” I answered. I didn’t come off as sound of mind. 

“Leave him be, Ollie—.”

“Was someone bothering you at the beach?” Ollie asked. He wouldn’t leave it alone until I answered. 

“No, I thought I’d be sick,” I lied. 

“Well, the radio’s in there if you want something to listen to,” Ollie replied. I turned the radio on and bathed. That exchange left a pit in my stomach. Like craving. Like hunger. 

I felt weak. I couldn’t tell anyone what I saw because I lacked words to describe the exchange. There was no way to describe it without romanticizing the creature. I didn’t soak for long. I dressed for dinner and dabbed the sweat from my forehead with my sleeve. “Are you feeling better?” Dinah asked. I nodded.  She touched my cheek with her hand, her fingertips ice cold against my face. “You’ve been gone for hours. Can you eat?” Hours? 

“Mhm, I’m much better,” I answered. 

“Good, we’re going into town to eat,” Dinah whispered, “You look haggard…”

“Aww, thanks, Dinah. You sure do know how to make a guy feel good,” I joked. Dinah shook her head and laughed. “Hey, Dinah… You know accents, right?” Dinah shrugged. I repeated what I heard on the beach the other night, and Dinah squinted. 

“You met someone Scottish at the beach?” Dinah asked. 

I shook my head. “No, I heard him talking, and it caught my attention,” I replied. 

Ollie looked at me, squinting, studying my face. 

“Feeling alright, Kiddo?” Ollie asked. I nodded. 

“Mhm… Were you all waiting for me?” I questioned. Ollie shrugged it off. I slipped my shoes on and grabbed my coat, glancing at my satchel. I looked inside, immediately spiraling into a frenzy. I’d left my sketchbook behind at the beach. 

“What’s the matter now?” Ollie asked. 

“I left my sketchbook at the beach... I have to—. I have to get it,” I stammered. Ollie opened his mouth to calm me down, but Dinah touched his arm. 

“We’ll wait for you,” Dinah replied. She knew whatever he would’ve said would make me feel much worse. I had to get it before someone could see the near-pornographic images I’d drawn of the creature. I’d never be brave enough to retrieve it from someone if they’d seen it.

Hal was sitting on the couch, reading a pamphlet when I passed him. I took my shoes off on the porch and ran barefoot to the beach. The sun had set, leaving the beach in eerie darkness. I walked to the rock formation where I left my things but didn’t reach the rocks before I saw him. He crouched like a gargoyle, holding my sketchbook. My breath caught, and I chewed my lip close to tears. The fear left me, leaving mortal humiliation in its wake. I turned to run, and he looked at me. 

“Don’t look at me,” I thought, “Don’t look inside and see me. Don’t worm your way into my spirit.” Then, he did something strange. Something that made me afraid once more. He smiled and waved. 

He set my book down, standing erect as he unbuttoned his shirt. His eyes shone amethyst as he morphed into the creature. Scales clothed his loins, shining even in the fog. I waited for him to step away from my things before I grabbed them. To my surprise, my shirt was warm and dry. Then, he nodded as if we’d come to an understanding. I nodded in return.

[yelena-bellova]

Unlucky: (Eventual) Steve Harrington x Fem!Subject!Reader

Chapter Eight: The First Day

Plot: It’s Tini’s first day at Hawkins High and things go far less than how she hoped.

Series Masterlist

Warnings: language, bullying, high school trauma, no use of y/n

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: I hate writing high school because I don’t think anyone had a normal experience. Everyone I’ve ever met has had some awful shit happen to them in those four years. And yet it’s supposed to be the best time of our life? Nooo thank you lol. Anyways, hope you enjoy. Let me know if you’d like to be tagged :) (apologies also if the keep reading thing doesn’t come up, I’m posting from mobile 😬)

————————

JANUARY 6TH, 1984

Hawkins High School.

My new home.

“Okay,” Hopper’s voice broke through the white noise in my brain, “You got your books?”

Numbly, I answered, “Yeah.”

“Lunch money?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“You hearing anything I’m saying?”

My eyes followed a group of kids walking through the school’s front doors, “They’re in my backpack.”

He laughed deeply and tapped my hand, “Hey.”

The physical contact finally broke my focus, I looked over to see his reassuring smile. “It’s gonna be fine. You’re gonna go to your classes, you’re gonna stick with Nancy or Jonathan, you’re gonna eat the shitty food in the cafeteria-“

I laughed, Jonathan had told me horror stories about the lunches served.

“And then I’m gonna pick you up and you’ll tell me if you think you ate chicken or fish.”

“That’s…oddly helpful,” I grinned before becoming more serious, “Thank you for all this. Getting me enrolled…”

Hopper shook his head, “Nothing to thank me for. Just go in there, do your best and…enjoy it. You’ve been waiting a long time.”

That was an understatement. I inhaled deeply, grabbed my backpack from the backseat and slid out of the truck. Once my feet hit the pavement, it felt real. There was no going back now…

I wandered towards the building, looking for Nancy or Jonathan or Steve, but couldn’t spot them. What I could tell was that people were already looking at me. Aside from the three people I knew, everyone else was a stranger. But they certainly knew me. Then again, pulling up in the Hawkins Police Department truck was sort of a giveaway.

I followed the general crowd into the school, finding chaos as soon as I stepped foot inside. Dozens of conversations overlapped on either side of me, people ran through carrying different creations and structures, I had to duck just to avoid getting hit in the head with a basketball. Reaching into my backpack, I pulled out the wrinkled sheet of paper that was my class schedule.

Math - Miss Tanner, Room 104.

Nancy had told me we had three classes together, one of them math, which comforted me. I found my way down another hall, one with lockers down each side, and tried to see if there were signs that could tell me where to go. No luck. But I made a mental note to remember to come back later and find my locker.

Finally, I gave up on trying to find my own way around when a shrieking bell rang. “Excuse me,” I tapped the closest girl on the shoulder, “Hi. Um, I’m new here and I can’t seem to find my first class. D-do you know where this is?”

The girl studied my paper before smiling back up at me, “Oh, Miss Tanner’s not in 104. Must be a typo. You want 108. Take a right down the next hall, then another right and it’s the first door on your left.”

“Two rights, first door on my left,” I repeated, “Thank you.”

“No problem,” she gave a toothy grin before sharing a laugh with the boy next to her.

The halls cleared out surprisingly fast. Hopper had told me that as soon as the bell rang, I needed to be wherever it was I was trying to get to. I hurried down the first hall, struggling to keep my backpack balanced on one shoulder. I nearly ran into another student as I curved down the next hall, grabbing the door to Room 108 before it shut.

Clearly I had arrived just as the teacher, who was certainly not Miss Tanner…or a woman at all, had begun his lesson. The class and him looked at me as if I’d just interrupted something terribly important.

“Uh…I’m sorry, is this…” my eyes scanned the room, “Miss Tanner’s class?”

“Well, what with the lack of equations on my board and the small fact that I am not a woman,” the male teacher said, a few of the students laughing under their breath, “I think we can conclude, my dear, that this is not Miss Tanner’s class.”

I felt like my breath was caught in my chest, not five minutes inside the building and I was already making a fool out of myself. The only person who didn’t seem to be getting a kick out of my mistake was Steve, seated in the back row, who gave a small smile. I counted myself lucky, a little over a month ago, I wouldn’t have been shown mercy from him.

“Miss Tanner’s class is four doors down,” the teacher finished before turning back to his board, “Now, class…”

With at least half of the eyes in the room off of me, I felt like I could move again. I slipped back out the door, looking back as it closed to Steve nodding to encourage me. I hurried back down the hall and took the time to actually read the number on the plaque outside the door. 104.

This time when I entered the room, I knew I was in the right place and was greeted far differently.

“Miss Hopper, it’s lovely to finally see you,” Miss Tanner greeted, still aware of my lateness but not making a big deal over it. She took my wrist and led me to the front of the room. “Class, I’d like you to meet our newest addition. Go ahead and introduce yourself…”

If I’d thought the last classroom was bad, this was worse. So much worse. Not only could I feel like I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think about anything other than keeping my breakfast where it needed to be.

Once my eyes started to register things again, I found Nancy in the second row. She smiled and nodded, comforting me into talking.

“I-I-I’m…Tini...”

I looked two seats behind Nancy and found Jonathan, giving me a discreet thumbs up. I’d saved him from being eaten by an inter dimensional monster, but I needed his reassurance to even get through saying my name…

“Tini H-Hopper.”

Unlike Steve’s class, there were only a few students who looked like they were trying not to laugh. A small grace.

“It’s a pleasure to have you join our class, Tini,” Miss Turned placed a hand on my shoulder, “Why don’t you go ahead and take a seat?”

Robotically, I moved towards the one empty seat in the room. It was in the very first row, the exact place that I’d been told by both Nancy and Jonathan was not where I wanted to be. I had every pair of eyes on me and only two of them cared how uncomfortable I was.

Throughout the class, I struggled to keep up, something I knew would happen. But unlike home, I couldn’t pause and take my time on the equations. I had to follow the speed of the class. When the bell rang, I practically slumped over in my chair.

“Hey,” Nancy greeted, I looked up from my papers feeling like I’d just been through war, “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Yeah,” I scoffed, stuffing my homework in my backpack and following the crowd with her.

“It wasn’t,” she insisted, “Jonathan, tell her…”

Jonathan melted into the outpour of classmates out of the room with us, “Really, it wasn’t that bad.”


I sighed loudly, “In this class, no. But I think I’m famous in room 108.”

Nancy rubbed my arm and guided me down the hall, “Come on, let’s go find your locker.”

“Good, a place to hide,” I groaned.

“We’ve all been through worse things than walking into the wrong classroom,” Jonathan said, raising a knowing eyebrow to me, “Right?”

Monsters. Other dimensions. Rescuing little kids. Rescuing kids from monsters in other dimensions.

If things didn’t shape up soon, I’d be ranking my first day at Hawkins High up with battling the Demogorgon.

—————————

English class was my first win of the day. After reading so many books in shelters to try and help my speech, it was the one subject I felt confident about. It was also the only class I had without Nancy or Jonathan. I felt proud that I’d made it through on my own.

I figured that the best way to find the cafeteria, rather than ask someone again, was to just follow the crowd. Eventually, it led me to the right place. There was more order to the cafeteria than anywhere else so far. I waited in line, fiddling with the dollar bill Hopper had given me.

Once I got up to the lunch ladies, they scooped various servings of food onto my tray before I could ask what they were. They looked…almost edible. Jonathan’s “mystery meat” stories echoed in my head.

“So you’re the chief’s kid?”

I looked up in surprise, there was someone talking to me. A boy, at least a foot taller than me, stocky and dressed in a band t-shirt I didn’t recognize.

“Oh, yeah,” I tried to smile, wondering whether or not I should add the word ‘adopted.’ It was strange enough to have the last name Hopper.

“Bet you can’t get away with shit,” he remarked. All I could do was nervously laugh.

“Oh my gosh, you’re the homeless girl!” the girl on my right exclaimed.

“Oh, shit,” the boy said far too loudly, “That’s you?”

I looked down at my tray as we scooted down the line, “Yep, that’s me.”

“Wow,” the girl focused all her attention on me, “You so don’t look homeless. You look, like, okay.”

Was she…complimenting me? In some weird way? Was I supposed to thank her?

“Is it, like, super weird to be with normal people now?” she asked.

I inhaled deeply, “It’s, uh…it’s an adjustment.”

“I can’t even imagine…” she shook her head as I moved to pay for my food, “I volunteered at a homeless shelter once and it was, like, the most insane thing I’d ever seen. Like, these people just had no home and some of them looked like they’d been that way for a long time. I mean, a long time…Did you think you’d be there forever? I can’t-“

I felt like I was being interrogated by a talk show host, on display for everyone to see. Even if she meant well, I wasn’t interested in discussing anything about a part of my life I was trying to put in the past.

“But they were so dirty. I mean, really dirty but- oh!” the girl only stopped talking when she had to pay. It gave me the perfect opportunity to escape.

Navigating the cafeteria was more difficult, there were easily over 100 students at Hawkins High and I needed to find just one of the three I knew. I stopped in the main path and searched for Nancy or Jonathan, spotting Nancy first with Steve glued to her side. I narrowly avoided a boy making wild hand gestures while holding a soda and hurried to their table.

“Hey,” Nancy said, perky as ever, “What’d you get?”

I finally looked down at my plate, grimacing at the various dishes. “A dare,” I answered.

Steve snorted, “Hey, it’s only up from here, right?”

“After the morning I had?” I chuckled, “One can only hope.”

Our voices, somewhat quiet, suddenly seemed louder than when I’d sat down. The whole left side of the room had gotten quieter. When I looked up, I saw students at the surrounding tables staring at…me. Whispering, pointing, laughter hidden behind their hands…it was all directed at me.

The homeless girl.

My face began to feel hot, my palms begin to feel sweaty. Everyone, everyone, was trying to figure me out. They wanted to get a look at the girl from the streets, the one who apparently wasn’t a human being for the first sixteen years of her life. They were deconstructing every part of me that was visible and making up the things they didn’t know.

The final insult came when something wet hit my cheek, bouncing off my face and falling on the table. I picked it up to see it was a spit coated ball of paper.

The tears that filled my eyes blissfully blurred my vision. I could make out that Steve had sat forward in his seat and was trying to determine where the attack had come from. It didn’t matter, nothing mattered at this point…everyone had already made up their minds about me.

“Tini…” Nancy gently called.

I was already up, lunch tray in hand.

“Tini,” Steve said, “It’s okay, it’s-“

My feet carried me out of the cafeteria before he could finish his lie.

The further I walked, the quieter the halls got, something I was thankful for considering I had tear streaking down my face. Eventually I ended up outside at the football field. Hungry and tired, I carefully balanced my tray and climbed the bleachers. The few people there were with the same idea were spread out, giving me a large chunk of space to myself. It was as close to being alone as I could get.

Then, and only then, did I pick up a forkful of my lunch and start to cry.

—————————

By the time I was in science class, my last class, I was ready for the day to be over. I had ten minutes left until I could run out the doors, climb in the truck, and try not to choke on the smell of the air freshener Hopper used to fight the stench of his cigarettes.

Science was one of the subjects I had been having the hardest time with. I paid extra attention as Mr. Walters mixed various chemicals I couldn’t pronounce the names of.

“Psst,” the person behind me whispered, tapping me on the shoulder, “Take this.”

He let go of a folded piece of paper that landed on my desk. I unrolled it to see a stick figure drawing of a girl, hair sticking out in every direction with holes in her clothes. If I didn’t already have an idea who it was supposed to resemble, the writing next to it spelled it out perfectly.

‘Homeless Freak’

“Ms. Hopper!”

Still in shock, I looked up at Mr. Walters, a dumbstruck expression on my face.

“I assume there is something on that piece of paper that is more demanding of your attention than our lesson.”

The explanation ran through my head so quick the words ran together, but I couldn’t make my mouth move.


“Perhaps a little more time would help you craft an answer,” Mr. Walters pulled out a pad of paper, scribbled something and handed it to me, “Head to room 109, detention.”

The hushed laughter acted as the soundtrack to my grand exit. I picked up my backpack, crumpled the note in my palm and headed for the door. The tears were coming faster than they had at lunch.

“Wait, Mr. Walters,” a familiar voice announced, “She didn’t do anything.”

I turned around to see Steve, standing up at his desk and pointing towards me.

“Your loyalty is admirable, Mr. Harrington,” Mr. Walters said, not at all happy about the interruption, “But unnecessary.”

“No, sir. I saw it, she didn’t-“

“That will be all, Mr. Harrington, unless you wish to join your friend?”

Half of the class was watching Steve, waiting for him to make his choice, and the other was glaring at me. I knew Steve was popular and now, in their eyes, I was the one dragging him down. By trying to fix the situation, he was making it worse. When our eyes met, I shook my head discreetly.

Steve sighed, obeying my wish, “No, Mr. Walters.”

“If that is all,” our teacher looked between us both, “Then we will continue with our lesson.”

Even though I knew Steve was watching, waiting for me to turn around to try and convey some message, I hurried out of the room. Thankfully, class hadn’t let out yet and I was free to cry my way down the halls. I was behind all of my classmates, hated by King Steve’s royal subjects, and a life-long homeless freak.

High school was, officially, a nightmare.

—————————


It was twenty minutes into detention when Hopper burst through the door, accompanied by a woman.

“Ms. Delacourt,” she addressed the teacher in charge of watching the four kids in the room, “Chief Hopper is here to retrieve his daughter, it seems they’ve had somewhat of a family emergency.”

Confused, I looked up at Hopper who was holding his hat in his hands. If it hadn’t been for the wink he shot me, I’d have thought something terrible had happened to El.

I was mercifully permitted to leave. Hopper thanked the teachers for their understanding and we left. The halls were emptied for the most part, giving us the chance to talk.

“You want to explain what happened?” Hopper asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I sighed, the incriminating piece of paper still in my backpack.

Hopper hummed, “Well, your friend felt differently. The Harrington kid came and found me, told me what happened.”

Hopper opened the front door to reveal Steve standing outside the truck, trying to calm down a very concerned Nancy. The sight of me had her jogging over to me.

“I’m so sorry,” she said as she hugged me, “Steve told me everything.”

Luckily, I was all cried out or else the kindness would have moved me to tears.

Nancy pulled back to look at me, “Don’t listen to any of them, please. First days are just…hard. It’s going to get better.”

“I’m not sure I agree,” I tried to smile, Steve joined us as Hopper got in the truck, “You didn’t have to do that…”

“It wasn’t your fault,” he replied, “The guy who wrote whatever it was is a dick.”

“Well, thank you,” I hugged Nancy once more, “I’ll see you guys tomorrow…”

Steve reached out to squeeze my shoulder as I passed him. He’d ended up helping me more than even he’d thought he would. I never thought he of all people would be my savior.

On the way home, Hopper heard more about my day. I didn’t tell him about the specific incidents so much as just the general mood of the day. I was given the same sentiment I had from Nancy; first days are hard, it’ll get better. I wanted to believe them both, but neither of them understood why it wasn’t going to get easier. I was a freak. I couldn’t change being gullible or having been homeless. I was forever going to be a target.

El hurried to hug me as soon as I was through the door. It made me feel lighter than I had all day.

“School?” she asked, her eyes bright and wide.

All day, I’d been a burden. Jonathan and Nancy had to walk me through basic things, Steve had to stay late to find Hopper, who then had to lie and bail me out…I didn’t want to feel helpless anymore. I wanted to be someone’s hero.

“It was great,” I said, putting on a big smile for her when she pulled back, “But I’ve been looking forward to Eggos all day.”

The rest of the night was spent eating dinner in front of the tv, something Hopper allowed out of pity. El laughed, I pretended to. It was only when we were both in bed that I let the tears flow freely.

At some point, when I knew I wasn’t going to sleep, I crept over the edge of my bed and grabbed my old backpack. I reached in for my notebook and pencil and pulled them out. I used the faint moonlight peeking through the curtains to see the lines on the paper. Sniffling, I wrote out the words—

I don’t like high school.

I finally dozed off with my headphones on, my Walkman softly playing ‘Army Dreamers’ and Kate Bush singing me into the only place I’d wanted to be all day: blissful unconsciousness.

————————

Unlucky Taglist: @milkiane @raynelbabe @kik51199 @hazydespair @burn1ngw00d @fanficfanatic204 @stratospherewalker @caitsymichelle13 @potatoflavoured @guichi @triscuit-reads @angelbbygrl @daisyjohncn @thel0v3hashira143 @m-rae23 @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @dessmxsworld

[noirineverysense]

I posted 1,160 times in 2022

That's 708 more posts than 2021!

180 posts created (16%)

980 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@winedark-whump

@noirineverysense

@for-the-love-of-angst

@straight-to-the-pain

@painful-pooch

I tagged 995 of my posts in 2022

Only 14% of my posts had no tags

#acp - 60 posts

#reblog - 25 posts

#352 is a good boy - 22 posts

#thanks for the ask!! - 21 posts

#351 not so much - 21 posts

#🥺🥺🥺 - 16 posts

#bbu - 16 posts

#whumpmasinjuly - 15 posts

#pet whump - 15 posts

#febuwhump2022 - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#'whose pain is normalized as acceptable and ultimately invisibilized versus whose pain is considered extraordinary or spectacle' yes

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

It was the little things, really, that she hated. He tortured her of course, but what she really couldn't take was the way he stretched after, like he had done anything strenuous. The way he ate in front of her, not the fact that he did, but instead how his mouth made stupidly loud noises and exaggerated shapes just from eating a sandwich. She hated how he grinned, teeth crooked and lips cracked. It's strange, she'd always found a crooked smile charming, now she just wants to break his jaw.

He would leave her and it felt like a breath of sorely missed fresh air, but then she would hear his heavy footsteps above her. She would hear the occasional laugh or heavy sigh and she would imagine suffocating him until he couldn't do either. She could even hear his bed creak when he settled in for the night, groaning loud under his weight. She would sleep too, except he had alarms set randomly throughout the night. She doesn't know if it's specifically designed to keep her up or if he just doesn't know about the incessant noise that mixed with his grunting snores. Because of course he wouldn't wake up to them. No, he would wake up at around 10 am the next day and he would walk down the steps to start the day with a new torture device to try out. He promised a bat tomorrow, to break her kneecaps.

She would break every bone in his body if she could, all 206, then go back to break them all again.

She hated him and the only thing keeping her going was her burning, festering spite.

28 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#4

More robot whumpee!

Febuwhump day 16 - "Does it hurt?"

@dragyouthroughthewhump

Part 1 Part 2

“Does it hurt?”

Whumpee lets out a scream as the tool prods around their chest, their heart had been replaced by a battery, but there were still various vessels and organs that still felt the cool metal jabbing into them.

“Yes, Yes! Please it’s too much! Stop, no!”

Whumper frowned, putting his screwdriver back into his lab coat pocket.

“Well, it shouldn’t. Pain is useless to a robot like yourself. I thought I had removed all of your pain receptors by now.

Whumpee sobs from where they were, on a table that was starting to fill with deep red blood. If they were still completely human, they probably would have died by now.

--

“Does it hurt?”

“Please, please stop.”

“But does it hurt?”

The android’s eyes fill with dark, oily liquid, a cheap imitation of the teary eyes of a human.

“N-No. No it doesn’t.”

“And do you know why?”

“Because I-I’m a robot. I don’t feel pain because it’s not useful to the ones I serve.”

The robot gets a pat on the head. It doesn’t feel that either.

--

“Does it hurt?”

There’s silence. The machine continues to whir, the robot’s lets out a beep as it emptied out some trash before continuing its various cleaning tasks.

Whumper sighs before taking a break on his office chair, watching his robot work with efficiency and without making silly human errors.

Once it had done all its selected tasks, it powered down, it’s glowing eyes now dull. The whirring now silenced. But if you looked closely, you could make out the frozen expression of horror and despair.

36 notes - Posted February 16, 2022

#3

@febuwhump alt 2 - trapped under a collapsed building

He holds it still, strong and steady. The large piece of rubble ready to collapse and kill them all, he keeps it in the air, above them.

His team huddle by his feet. The youngest, closest to him, looks up at him, watching, with fear and adoration dancing in their eyes.

The techie is trying to establish communications, to call for help. She keeps yelling into a small box, hoping for a sign that someone is listening, that someone is coming for them. She doesn’t look up at him, not once. He only ever sees the top of her covered head. She somehow knows that he’s not going to let it drop on her, on any of them.

He locks eyes on his second-in-command whose foot was trapped under rubble. He twists his body to hold on to the youngest, hugging them tight and using his body as a shield if the rubble were to come down. He knew that their leader wasn’t superhuman, just a man with muscles that could tire even if his will didn’t break.

His arms start to shake with the strain, his muscles twitching and aching. The enormous weight he carries on his shoulders and neck, threatens to crush him at any second. He feels his legs start to bend and give out. With a groan he straightens them anyway.

The tech’s voice gets louder still, disturbing some small parts of rubble and dust. She was getting a response finally as she gave their location and other details. The words fall out of her mouth at an accelerated rate until it stops suddenly. After a pause, she looks up at him finally, eyes wide with fear and flinching when some pebbles dropped beside her.

“They said two hours.”

He winces as his second-in-command groans out. The youngest lets out a whimper and holds the other man tighter.

The tech gasps suddenly when parts of the large piece break off beside her. She gets ushered closer to them as tears slip out of her eyes.

He can’t find his voice so he mouths at her instead.

“It’s going to be okay. I’m not gonna let it drop, alright? You’re safe, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

She nods before huddling with the other two. The leader lets out a small strained sound as he holds the rubble further from their heads.

The second-in-command looks up, eyes creased with worry. “I wish I could help you.” He says simply. He tries to pull his leg out but only lets out a moan in pain for his efforts. The two beside him hold him tighter.

“It’s okay. I’ve got this.”

He has got this. He can hold this piece of rock up. For 2 hours. 120 minutes. 7200 seconds.

Every painful second dragged longer than it felt like it should. His arms were bent and locked in place, his fingers were splayed and numb, he couldn’t feel the roughness of the stone anymore. He couldn’t feel his legs. The only sensation was a throbbing pain, emanating deep in him and an ache in his bones that begged his mind to let them rest.

He feels his arms start to give so he looks back at his, huddled and scared and strength surges through him again. He’s not going to let them down. He promised them he’s going to keep this thing up. So he will.

The minutes tick by in silence, his left arm starts to weaken and the large rubble begins to slide down from the left before he catches it again, just above the tech’s head. He gives a hoarse apology before continuing his duty.

He guesses it’s been about thirty minutes since his tech had made a call and nods to her. She gets the signal and tries to make contact again. It’s a few scary moments of just static before a voice crackles out of the small device.

“We’ll be with you shortly, hold on.”

“How long?” the tech asks tersely.

His sore muscles tense during some muttering before an answer.

Please don’t be longer.

“About 30-40 minutes. Please hold on until then.”

He sighs in relief, that’s less time than he expected. He has no excuse not to hold the rock up until then.

His body aches in protest. He has no idea how he can hold it up for another thirty minutes, likely more. He doesn’t have a choice. He tries to adjust his grip but the position ends up being even more painful and he lets out a hiss.

The team look up at him for a moment, he gives a single nod.

I’m fine. I have to be.

Every minute seemed to drag on for eternity. He lets out a growl and shifts to hold the slipping piece of rock. Exhaustion starts to weigh in him, his shoulders, arms, back and neck screaming at him to let go. He can’t. He licks his dry lips and tries to blink away the black dots in his vision.

See the full post

46 notes - Posted February 17, 2022

#2

You are 100% correct that there is a lack of POC representation in the whump community on Tumblr. However, part of the reason for this is because when white content creators try to interact with characters that are POC, they are often told that they shouldn't. That they shouldn't try to write for POC or even draw fanart of them etc. etc. because they aren't a part of that character's culture and shouldn't be trying to represent it.

So unfortunately, its a double-edged sword. Content creators are told to stick with what they know, so they do.

Also, quite frankly, can you imagine the uproar if a white person created a POC whumpee? If they created an OC who was black, and then proceeded to just have the OC treated awfully, tortured, kept as a slave (like any other whumpee OC that's ever been created.) I just don't see that going over well.

So unfortunately, the creation of content for POC characters is going to have to be done by POC content creators. There is really no way around that.

Anon i couldnt disagree more

Okay firstly POC arent a monolith, we're like the majority of people on earth so some might disagree with me and thats fine. But personally and to the other POC i've talked to, we want to be represented! We didnt come to whumpblr to be forced to relate to white people experiences. I'd happily say the majority of poc do want white people to write us bc like youre the majority here. And specifically in whump, if poc didnt like whump about us, we wouldnt be here. We're not here for white people, we're here for oursleves. We like whump, we here bc we like torture or comfort or pet whump or whatever. We're not here for white people to take inspiration from our irl suffering and use it for their white characters while we cheer them on.

Also like white people have written and drawn characters/whumpees that arent white lol, and there hasnt been that uproar. Also what uproar, there arent that many of us, are white people going to attack you? Why do you care about their opinions on poc? I think this idea of white people being under attack if they write poc is overblown and makes no sense.

Imo stick to what you know is dumb, like most of us dont know what its like to be tortured, yet we're all willing to do often intensive research. Yet we won't put that same energy into characters of colour?

Theres definitely nuance, I would be uncomfortable with a black character as a domestic pet for a white character that was written by a white person for example. Depends on how the writer handles it, but yeah theres nuance but that doesnt mean no poc ever can be written by white people. Like is research into anti racism and culture/stereotypes necessary, yes. But only poc writing characters of colour or #own voices, means our stories barely if ever get written. It leads to spaces that structurally white without any white person even doing the basics of trying to include poc. Also not every poc has a culture massively different to white people.

Like ofc poc writing poc is the goal, but to get there we need to make an inclusive space and that involves white people writing poc, sorry its true.

76 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Whumpblr ask game - opinions

1. What do you like about whumpblr? What do you dislike about it?

2. Who's your favourite OC?

3. Favourite trope?

4. Do you prefer romance or platonic relationships in writing?

5. What do you think draws people to your stories?

6. What do you like about writing on tumblr?

7. What don't you like about writing on tumblr?

8. What do you like about whump?

9. Any unpopular opinions on tropes or whump in general?

10. What made you want to write your wips?

80 notes - Posted July 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[patt-writes-stuff]

Violetgrass (Xiao x f!reader)

Pairing: Yan!Xiao x f!reader

Word count: 6.7K+

Warnings: not the most canon complaint cuz the timeline for the archon War is a little blurry? Angst with no happy ending, major and repeated character death, semi-detailed descriptions of blood, injuries, and violence. Unhealthy and toxic relationships, yandere themes, mentions of stalking, controlling behavior, mentions of kid-napping, forced captivity. Unhealthy mindsets and generally xiao’s kinda slowly losing his sanity. Some delusions. Allusions of starvation/dehydration (it’s like one sentence). Pleas do not read this if any of the previously mentioned topics trigger you in any way.

Genre: Angst and Yandere

Tags/Aus: Mythology Au, Reincarnation Au

Summary: You and Xiao were lovers during the Archon War. You were his paradise, his bliss, and, unfortunately, a fragile mortal who was taken away far too soon. However Celestina was kind enough, or perhaps cruel enough, to bring you back to Xiao, only to rip you out of his loving embrace once more. This happens again and again, each time far more painfully than the last. Even an Adeptus such as Xiao can only take so much before he snaps though. This time, he’s gonna make sure that no one, not even you, can take his bliss away.

A/N: This is my piece for the Attack on Academia Mythology Au Collab!! Be sure to check the rest of them, they’re all super awesome and made by amazing writers!

You’ve heard the myth about the Vigilant Yaksha and the violetgrass maiden, haven’t you?

It’s said that the two are eternally intertwined, destined to love each other, only to be ripped apart by both her mortality and the cruelty of the gods. The tale itself goes like this…

The first time the Adeptus and his mortal lover met was back when the Archon War was still roaring. The smell of blood and misery filled the air and Rex Lapis had yet to claim his title as the Geo Archon. Despite this, some managed to find joy and serenity in these troubling periods.

The maiden was one of those people. She found joy in frolicking through the fields and climbing the highest mountains to collect qingxin flowers and, her personal favorite, violetgrass, whenever she had the time. Though climbing up the steep mountains and jagged peaks of Liyue was indeed dangerous, the damsel had become quite skilled at climbing, her hold rarely ever slipping, no falls or cuts of any sort.

Until one day, the maiden was climbing up a particular mountain. It was a troublesome one, for there were no proper footholds or protruding stones to grab on to. Still, the pretty violetgrass that was just a foot or two away from her, swaying gently with the wind, was far too tempting to not collect. It would look so lovely in a flower crown, or maybe a vase, perhaps she could flatten it out to make a bookmark or-

A piercing shriek escaped the mortal. Whilst her thoughts had been elsewhere, she’d stopped on a small ledge that was far too fragile to support her weight, the rock beneath the maiden gave away to nothing before she could react.

She shut their eyes tightly, bracing herself for an impact that would surely leave her battered and bruised, if not dead.

However, it never came.

Instead, she was caught mid-air by a pair of strong arms that secured their hold under the mortal woman’s knees and neck. She didn’t open her eyes right away, for fear that she would still fall, choosing instead to catch their breath. Once her savior landed safely on the ground, something she was able to detect due to the thud of shoes against the earth, she slowly opened her eyes.

Upon opening them, her eyes met with the piercing amber eyes of a young man with dark hair (the color of the ocean at night, she thought dreamily) with pretty teal bangs framing his even prettier face. His brows were furrowed slightly, thin lips twisted into what seemed to be a permanent frown. In her still dazed state, she couldn’t help but think that he was far too handsome to look so dreadfully serious.

After an intense moment of eye contact, perhaps too intense for two strangers that had met only seconds prior, he let her go in a rather unceremonious manner, causing her to squawk in surprise, knees buckling under the unexpected weight. She had not yet had a chance to gather her bearings after such a terrifying event.

Instead of asking if she was alright, the young man simply said, in a rather crude and callous manner, “You should be more careful, mortal. If I hadn’t been there to catch you, you would’ve surely broken your neck.”

She gawked at him. Mortal? Why would he refer to her in such an… odd way?

The maiden looked at him up and down, as if trying to understand just what was wrong with this poor man. Suddenly, it struck her. She’d been an absolute idiot to not have noticed sooner. From the tattoo that adorned his right arm to the way he held himself, it had been so obvious.

Her savior was an Adeptus.

He wasn’t just an Adeptus, no. He was much more than that. He was one of the Adepti who served under Rex Lapis. He was one of the five Yakshas who kept her and the people of Liyue safe if the mask tied to his belt was any indication. And instead of killing demons or evil gods, he’d taken the time to save her.

Before she could muster an adequate thank you, he, who she’d now realized was Adeptus Xiao, was already leaving, uttering a quick “Please be careful,” on his way.

Quickly, and without really thinking, she grabbed onto his wrist, blabbering out the words, “Wait, don’t go! You must allow me to repay you for your generous actions!”

The amber-eyed Adeptus opened his mouth, ready to declare that it was unnecessary, but before he could, the damsel spoke up, “I could cook you something in return. How about almond tofu?” with a small giggle she added, “I assure you it’s sweeter than those dreams you eat.”

To both of their surprises, Xiao uttered a quiet, almost shy, “Yes.”

The Adeptus didn’t know what had come over him. All he knew is that there was something about the way her eyes sparkled and her lips moved, her soothing, melodious voice. It made his heart pound in a way it never had before.

And so, she cooked him some almond tofu, and they- well, she- talked as he ate the mouthwatering sweet.

He came back the day after that one and the one after that, followed on by the one after that, and so on. Xiao hadn’t meant to, really he hadn’t. But there was something about the maiden that just brought him a peace he had never experienced before. Her warm embrace and soft, gentle words were all he needed to keep fighting, to keep living, even. She was his paradise, his bliss. It wasn’t long until they were mutually infatuated with one another, deeply in love.

Every time he would visit her home, he would always bring her the flowers she so adored. Glaze lilies, silk flowers, and of course, violetgrass. Xiao had even gifted her a small broach, one made of the finest noctilucous jade, shaped like the downturned purple flower.

Unfortunately, everything is temporary for those punished with immortality.

The first time Xiao lost his maiden was, as he remembers, a rainy day. Despite the dreary weather, she had decided to go violetgrass picking since they’re always best picked after the rain.

But, dear Archons, what a dreadful idea that had been.

While the purple flower is indeed best picked after it rains, it is also the time when rocks are most… slippery.

So, as the maiden was climbing up the steep mountains of Juyen Karst, her right hand’s hold on the rock slipped, causing her palm to be cut open by a particularly jagged piece of stone. She hissed in, watching as blood began to ooze out. Panic started to seep in, there was no ledge for her to tend to her wound, and the cut was far too big for her to continue to climb up or down.

Dread began to fill her to her very core, she felt burning hot with unchecked anxiety, fear begging to settle into her gut in the most uncomfortable of manners. She should have waited for Xiao as he had asked of her. Ever since they had first met, a year ago to the day, he’d been so adamant on wanting to go with her to ensure her safety. She’d only wanted to surprise him with some when he returned home. The maiden was so sure it would’ve been a romantic anniversary gift, seeing as they were the cause of their meeting…

She’d been such a fool.

The violetgrass maiden attempted to climb down but Celestia seemed to laugh at her feeble attempts. She stretched her leg, trying to find the foothold she had used previously. However, her foot slipped and before she knew it, she was falling, just as she had been a year ago.

Horror filled her lungs, making it hard for her to breathe, her life flashed before her eyes, and then suddenly she remembered some words her lover had uttered to her one night under the glow of the moonlight when it was but the two of them in each other’s arms:

“If you awake to a knife at your throat, if monsters dig their claws into you, if death comes knocking at your door, call out my name, Adeptus Xiao. I will be here when you call.”

And so she called, at the top of her lungs, as loud as she could muster. The seconds seemed to turn to hours as she shut her eyes and waited to feel the strong arms of her lover, to hear the safety of his heartbeat.

But it never came.

Or rather, it came too late.

By the time Xiao had finished up the demonic creatures that threatening Liyue, by the time he’d answered her call, he was already too late.

Upon manifesting in the air out of nothing, he was greeted by the side of his love’s pitiful, mortal body. Her garments were bloody, the basket she carried her flowers in laid a few feet away from her body,her neck bent in a painfully awkward way.

Xiao felt so helpless. He was so helpless.

He could do no more than hold back the tears stinging his eyes and attempting to shake her awake.

The second time Xiao met the maiden was no more than a century after the first time. The Archon War was not yet over and sickness plagued every nook and cranny, taking the lives of hundreds upon thousands.

The two star-crossed lovers were reunited one clear summer night when the maiden was wandering aimlessly through the fields of Lingju Pass. She knew it was dangerous during these times, especially with how ill she had been feeling as of late. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to care. She’d already spent hours tossing and turning in her bed. Sleep, however, refused to come. Instead, she felt the overwhelming urge to leave the safety of her bed and go there. It was as if someone had tied a rope around her waist and was tugging at it persistently, insisting she follows.

And so she followed.

Upon reaching a clearing, she froze. In front of her very eyes was a sitting Stonehide Lawachurl, the type even the fiercest warriors in your village struggled with. The maiden quickly started backing away, praying to the Lord of Geo that it wouldn’t sense her presence. Her prayers were in vain, however, for as soon as the thought escaped her, she stepped on a twig, making it snap and effectively alerting the fearsome monster of her presence.

She shook in terror as parts of the Lawachurl’s rocky exterior began to glow with geo elemental energy. She hadn’t expected anything of the sort to happen so she hadn’t brought her sword, meaning she couldn’t exactly fight it, definitely not without a vision at least. Running wasn’t much of an option considering her body’s weak and ill state. She could try to outrun it, sure, but it wouldn’t be long before she was driven to a coughing fit because of it.

Before life had a chance to flash before her eyes, a masked young man appeared. Distantly, she recognized him as one of the adepti and watched him easily defeat the Stonehide Lawachurl with a series of short, consecutive plunges. She couldn’t help but watch him, mouth agape in an expression of pure, unadulterated awe. The Adeptus didn’t even need a claymore to break through the creature’s thick, hard exterior. As bad as she felt for not assisting him, she knew she weren’t exactly in any position to lend a hand. Not that she needed to, though, for soon enough the monster crumbled into nothing but red and black smoke.

After a second of panting over the remains of what was left of the creature, polearm in hand, Xiao turned to her and felt his blood run cold.

It was her.

How could it be her? She had died long ago. He knew she had, he’d cradled her cold body as tears streamed down his face. He’d taken her lifeless body back to her family. He’d left flowers at her grave.

This had to be some sort of sick joke, he thought, perhaps the karmic debt was finally getting to him, just like it had his fellow Yakshas.

Suddenly, his amber eyes zeroed in on a broach she had pinned to her dress. A Violetgrass broach, to be exact. Made of noctilucous jade, just like the one he had given her. The one he’d made for her with his own hands. There was no denying it was the very one. Only, how could that be? He had ensured it had been buried with you…

But it was an indisputable fact. That broach was the one he had made for his love and the woman before him was her. It was her from her wide eyes, fixated on him with the same wonder they had always had when they looked at him. Her hair was the same color and texture, and it framed her face in the same way. It was her.

The beginnings of tears stung at his eyes. Perhaps Celestia had brought you back? Perhaps they’d finally realized, just as he had always known, that her death was cruel and unfair. That it wasn’t meant to be. That she was meant to be in his arms, happy and safe.

“Uhm- excuse me, Adeptus Xiao, are you alright?” She inquired worriedly, eyes solely on him, filled to the brim with concern.

‘Oh Archons’, he couldn’t help but think distantly, ‘I’ve missed her voice.’

Instead of running up to her and crushing him in his loving embrace, he stayed where he was, took off his mask, nodded briskly, swallowing as if to avoid the tightness in his throat. She didn’t seem to remember him yet, so there was no use in frightening her.

Before he could muster up the courage to speak to her, his love began to cough furiously, though she attempted to cover it up. She didn’t want to be rude to her savior, after all.

“Ha, pardon me, sir, I’ve just been feeling a bit under the weather is all,” she told him feebly.

He nodded brusquely, before uttering, “I shall return you home safely.”

“Oh no, I assure you, you’ve done more than enough for me. I can’t ask that of you,” she fumbled hurriedly, though his words were more of a statement than a question.

Xiao had never been one for unnecessary- or at least what he thought were unnecessary- words, so instead of saying anything, the Adeptus simply grabbed her by the waist and teleported you home, after asking where home was, of course.

The next day, the Yaksha visited the maiden’s home, a bushel of violetgrass flowers in hand. She’d been understandably surprised, yet thrilled that the dark-haired man was visiting her. She hadn’t expected someone as busy as him to make time for a regular person such as herself, especially not during these times.

“These are my favorite flowers, y’know? They’re just so beautiful,” the maiden exclaimed gleefully.

He did know. That had been one of the reasons he had brought them to her. The second reason was because of what happened last time, in her previous life, he supposed. Celestia had been kind enough to gift him a second chance with his love, and he was going to ensure that it did not go to waste.

And so, every day he would visit her. Some days he would bring silk flowers, or glaze lilies, while other days he would bring her loach pearls and core lapis. Not a day went by where he would not appear in front of the damsel’s house, a gift in hand, ready to hear her ramble about whatever that beautiful brain of hers desired to prattle on about.

“You’re simply too generous Xiao,” she’d told him playfully while she laid in her bed, as she was still unwell, the Adeptus seated in a plush chair next to it. “There has to be something I can give you in return for everything. I won’t take no for an answer.”

He thought for a moment, before asking, tentatively, “Do you know how to make almond tofu?”

He’d never forget her dazzling smile that day, as she shakily got out of her bed, latching onto the support he offered while she gathered her bearings, and marched to her kitchen, enthusiastically preparing the sweet treat as she talked about a book she’d been reading, one that’d been gifted to her by a friend, titled Moonlit Bamboo Forest.

The lovers did this every day for months. Xiao brought her some medicinal tea that Rex Lapis himself said could cure her ailments. They did indeed begin to see improvement in her health and Xiao couldn’t help but feel immense relief. This time, he wouldn’t lose her for certain.

Until the plagues reached her village.

She’d been one of the first to catch it since the village doctor came to check on her so often, he’d spread it to her. The plague, coupled with her previous illness, weakened her body in a manner of days. One day, Xiao went to get some medicine his fellow adepti had guaranteed would help the maiden feel better.

When he returned later that day, however, he found her body in the bed, cold and without a pulse, the stench of death and sickness thick in the air.

That was the second time he had lost her.

The third time the star-crossed lovers met was long after the archon war. Liyue was now its own nation with its own name, the great center of wealth and commerce. The Yakshas were now a thing of the past, having succumbed to their karmic debt. Eventually, they all fell in one way or another.

All but Xiao, who remained a constant throughout it all.

Over the past decade or so, Xiao had taken to staying at the Wangshu Inn when he wasn’t slaying monsters. The people were nice enough, though he had long given up on attempting to form emotional connections with others. It would only lead to grief, just like it had when he’d lost his love or his fellow Yakshas, and there was only so much grief anyone, mortal or not, could take before their thread of sanity snapped in half. And with his Karmic Debt being as bad as it was…

As Xiao sat at the edge of the balcony of the Wangshu Inn, legs dangling below, he couldn’t help but think of her, his maiden. He wondered if, perhaps, Celestia would give him a third chance and bring her back to him. Honestly, the Adeptus wasn’t sure he wanted a third chance with her. While he did miss the sound of her heartbeat and the sweet words she’d utter to him and only him, he doubted he could bear the pain of having her ripped away from him once again.

It’s as if Celestia was taunting Xiao. As if the Archons above were bored and found some sick amusement in his pain as if his emotions were nothing but a game to them. What other explanations were there for what happened next?

“Um- excuse me, do you mind if I sit here?” An angelic voice he knew far too well, missed far too much, spoke.

Xiao looked up and lo and behold, it was her. Same hair, same eyes, same violetgrass broach.

She stood behind him clutching a plate of something, though the angle wouldn’t allow him to make up what it was. Her face adorned that same anxious smile of hers and he could feel himself falling in love with the maiden all over again. He knew he should say no. He shouldn’t allow her back in, not when he’s already lost her so many times before, not when they’d both suffered so much just by being together.

He nodded before looking away.

He shouldn’t but he would.

“I hope you don’t mind me intruding on your quiet time,” she said softly once she had settled beside him. When he made no indication of answering, she continued, “To be honest, you just seemed so… sad, melancholic even. Something about it, even if I don’t really know you, doesn’t sit right with me. It makes my heart feel heavy.”

The violetgrass maiden received no response, except for a soft grunt of acknowledgment, so small she wasn’t sure she hadn’t imagined it. Still, it was all she needed to perk up and stretch her arms out, offering him the plate she’d been holding.

“Here, I got this for you,” she told him, “word around the streets is you’ve got quite an appetite for it! Though this is my first time staying at the Inn, so I’m not sure if it’s any good here.”

Xiao looked at her, amber eyes filled with love. He was glad to know that, despite living through many lives now, she was still the girl he’d met back then, as sweet as he’d remembered her, just as caring.

He shouldn’t have but he took the plate from her hands and began to eat.

Instead of saying anything, she simply watched him as he ate, a silly little smile making its way to her face. The look on his lady’s face had him growing hot and turning beet red

“So,” he coughed out, embarrassed, “where’d you get a broach like that?”

“Oh, this one?” She inquired, pointing at the shiny violetgrass broach, “I found it lying on the ground one day when I was out picking lotus heads for dinner. I asked just about everyone in Liyue Harbor if it was theirs, but no luck. I eventually decided to just keep it for myself. It is a shame though, whoever lost it must truly be upset over losing such a beautiful piece of jewelry. I’ve never seen anything quite like it.”

He nodded along, thinking that, well, the broach actually was with its owner.

“It’s as if it were fate though,” she prattled on happily, watching the stars as she talked, “Violeygrass is my very favorite, always has been really. Though, I’ve always been too scared to climb up for them myself. You see, ever since I was little, I’ve had this recurring nightmare where I fell to my death while collecting some.”

The Adeptus stilled for a second, tense. She hadn’t ever brought up dreams about her past life. Maybe this time was different, maybe she’d remember what he did!

“Oh my Archons,” she exclaimed, face warm with embarrassment, scratching the back of her head sheepishly, “I’ve been going on and on! I’m so sorry, something about you feels so familiar. It makes me feel like I can tell you just about everything. Is that weird?”

His heart was racing like it hadn’t in years, decades even.

“You can tell me whatever you want,” he answered shortly, “I don’t mind listening. You have a nice voice.”

The maiden covered her hands with her face, flustered, and Xiao let out a rare smile, soft and gentle. This time would be different. He’d make sure of it.

After that day, the maiden began to visit the Wangshu Inn often, whenever she could spare time away from her job. Unbeknownst to her, however, Xiao followed at a distance when she wasn’t visiting him, to ensure her safety. He knew it wasn’t right, truly, but he had no other choice. He had to, or else he’d risk losing her to an accident such as last time, fall ill again, attacked by monsters or, Celestia forbid, be kidnapped by a group of treasure hoarders.

He’d have to get rid of any and all threats.

So, Xiao continued to follow his maiden from a distance, he made sure she was in tip-top shape, and ruthlessly slaughtering all enemies that he deemed a threat to her, until he was certain nothing would take her away from him again.

Except for one threat. Himself.

The third time he’d lost her was on a beautiful night, not that Xiao could remember it well. His love had insisted on the two of them taking a walk. She’d reasoned that the cool night air would help him regain control. His karmic debt had been weighing on him an awful lot recently and she simply couldn’t bear to see him in such excruciating pain.

The walk had started off rather pleasantly, as far as Xiao could remember. He could remember nudging his hand against hers, wanting to hold it but being far too shy to do so. With a laugh and a teasing remark, the maiden interlaced their fingers, bringing up their hands to place a gentle kiss on his, making the tips of his ears redden in bashfulness. They’d walked a little further until they encountered a group of hilichurls accompanied by a pyro abyss mage. Without skipping a beat, Xiao stepped in front of his lover, polearm appearing in his hand.

And then…

Everything went dark. Xiao’s mind was nothing but a void, pain exploded in every inch of his body as his karmic debt returned in full force to punish him for the slaughtering he’d committed.

When he came to, his mind was hazy, unsure of what had occurred. The Yaksha sat up, ignoring the way his muscles protested against it, and looked around, trying to make sense of what had happened and where he was.

Xiao froze when his eyes locked onto her pitiful body laying a few feet ahead of him in the grass surrounded by arrowheads and broken hilichurl masks, blood turning ice-cold. If he ignored the gashes across her body, the ones that were unmistakably made by the bloody spear he was clutching and not some hilichurl club or bow and arrow, and the blood that stained her pretty garments, he could almost fool himself into thinking she was asleep.

This had been his doing.

After a few beats of stunned silence, the dark-haired Adeptus lurched forward grabbing onto her cold body and shaking ruthlessly, calling out her name frantically, as if it would make his love wake up, make her cradle his face lovingly and ask why he’d been crying.

Xiao looked up onto the sky scornfully, looking up at Celestia with nothing short of pure, unadulterated loathing. He was willing to bet they were all mocking him right now, laughing at how weak and pathetic he was, at how time after time, he’d failed to love her enough, to keep her alive. They did this on purpose he was sure of it, those bastards. Well, if they could play dirty like this, so could he. He’d get her back, he’d keep her alive by his side.

And just like that, Xiao’s thread of sanity snapped.

“You can’t take her away from me anymore,” he spoke to the sky nonsensically, “I won’t let you. I don’t care what I have to do, who I have to kill, you won’t take my bliss away from me again.”

“That story was quite depressing,” Chongyun stated, ceasing his footsteps to look to his friend, Xingqiu.

“Ah yes, it is indeed, my liege,” the navy blue-haired gentleman agreed, “However, I’m glad this book included the whole myth, instead of making me wait for the next volume like the last one.”

The light blue-haired boy rolled his eyes before saying, “As much as I appreciated you reading the book aloud, I don’t see how this aids us in our search for (Y/N).”

The reason the boys had been searching across all of Liyue, was because their aforementioned friend had mysteriously gone missing. Everything had been as it normally was until one day, (Y/N) didn’t show up at her job in the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, something that was incredibly unusual of her, especially without a warning to her boss or coworkers. This led Hu Tao, with the insistence of Zhongli, to ask Chongyun and Xingqiu, two of (Y/N)’s friends, for help in the search for her. They had also contacted the milelith, but they had told them that she’d not been missing for long enough to warrant a search party. The two had, of course, been quick to help, though Xingqiu had been rather enraptured in a book of Liyue Myths, simply insisting he’d have to take it with him so he could read while he searched for her.

“But my liege,” Xingqiu exclaimed playfully, golden eyes shining with mirth, “this story is of utmost importance in our search for our beloved friend. Why, for all we know, (Y/N) might’ve been kidnapped by the Vigilant Yaksha himself! She has always had a habit of climbing mountains to pick violetgrass like the maiden in the book”

“Do not be so ridiculous,” Chongyun said, rolling his eyes, “I doubt an Adeptus such as himself would ever commit such an atrocity of that degree against a citizen of Liyue. Besides, that myth is incredibly old and there’s very little evidence that proves its validity. It’s more likely that (Y/N) was taken by a demon. That is why I asked you to accompany me to Wuwang Hill.”

“I was simply joking Chongyun,” he said with a laugh before turning solemn, “However, regretfully I feel as though it is time for the two of us to return to Liyue Harbor for the day. You’ve just about run out of popsicles and with this heat, I have no doubt you’ll overheat if we keep going.”

“I’m afraid you’re right,” The blue-eyed boy admitted. “I hope (Y/N) is alright wherever she is.”

“I do as well,” Xingqiu agreed, “Perhaps Hu Tao and Zhongli have had more luck.”

Chongyun nodded, “Xiangling also said she’d ask her customers if they’d seen her.”

With that, the two boys made their way back to Lihue Harbor, oblivious to just how true Xingqiu’s joke had been.

Xiao sighed as he climbed up the stairs of Wangshu Inn up to his room. Of course, he did not need sleep, it was a mortal need in and of itself, or a room for that matter but Verr Goldet had insisted that he should have his own space, somewhere he could rest after long days of slaughtering demons such as this one.

The Adeptus turned the door handle, opening the door of an empty, pristine room. While the room had all of the furniture the other Inn rooms had, it still felt unnervingly empty, without any clothes or trinkets laying around. The only personal object of Xiao’s in the room was an orange teapot that rested on the nightstand.

Quickly, Xiao opened the tea pot’s lid, and within seconds he was standing in front of a Liyue style mansion, surrounded by mountains that he crafted to look like the ones from when the two of you had met all those centuries ago. Eager to see you, Xiao ignored Tubby’s greetings and opened the front door, making quick work of taking off his shoes before climbing the stairs to the second floor, where your room was.

He opened the door to find you sat atop your bed, alert and glaring at him fiercely. The Adeptus rolled his amber eyes, it seemed you were still trying to act out and be defiant. Looking around your room, mostly to make sure you hadn’t tried to smash the windows with the desk chair like last time (you seemed to not comprehend the fact that there was no escaping the serenetea pot, since it was a world Xiao himself had created), his eyes settled on the plate of bamboo shoot soup he’d left for you this morning, along with a still filled to the brim cup of water. He narrowed his eyes at that. It simply wouldn’t do. You’d been here for about a week now and you still refused to eat or drink anything he brought you, except for a few nibbles and sips he’d managed to threaten coax out of you. Xiao, admittedly, didn’t know very much about humans, but he did know they needed to eat and drink to stay alive. He’d learned that the hard way on his last few tries.

“Why aren’t you eating?” Xiao inquired before adding, “If you don’t like this food you should come out and say it. I can ask Smiley Yanxiao for something that suits your taste more.”

You let out a poorly suppressed scoff. This nut-job didn’t seem to get that out of all the things wrong in this situation, the last thing you were concerned about was the food. Dear Archons, just what is wrong with this man? First, he had the gall of taking you captive one evening when you were going home from work and now he had the audacity to expect you to act like a complacent little toy and go along with this insanity?

And to think that when you’d first met him whilst accompanying the Traveler and Paimon, who had been commissioned by Director Hu Tao to gather some cor lapis for a client’s ceremony, you’d been absolutely smitten with the awkward and stoic Adeptus. Everything from his pretty black hair to his captivating bright eyes had your knees weak. So much so that you’d ignored all of the red flags, like how he’d stare at you in such an intense manner, with eyes fixated on you and only you, how he seemed to distrust Aether, a trusted friend of his, when it came to him accompanying you, or how as soon as you’d met you had the horrible sensation of being watched at all times of the day. Just thinking back to all the warning signs you’d missed made your skin crawl. Perhaps if you hadn’t been such a lovesick idiot you’d be at home right now or eating dinner with Chongyun and Xingqiu, trying out one of Xianglings crazy concoctions containing slime condensate or whopper flower nectar.

Instead, you were trapped in an artificial world, in a room that looked horrifyingly similar to your own back home.

You were snapped out of your reverie by Xiao moving closer to your bed.

“Let me go home,” you said, hating how your voice cracked at the end. You felt so pathetic, you always prided yourself on being a headstrong independent person, and here you were, cowering at his closeness and avoiding all eye contact, as if looking at his pain filled eyes would ruin you.

“You are home,” he retorted, his voice bordering on delusion, “This is your home. This is where you're safe. Where you stay alive and I get to keep you forever.”

Xiao stretched out his arm, as if to cradle your cheek in his hand but before he got to you flinched away, backing away from him as far as you could, back hitting the headboard. You looked away, trying to ignore how guilty the pain that flashed through his eyes made you feel. You shouldn’t be the one feeling guilty.  He should be. He’s the one that stole you away from your home. He’s the one that ruined your life.

You look down at the violetgrass broach clasped onto your blouse in nothing short of complete and utter loathing. You’d been so captivated by it when you’d first found it at the antique shop while window shopping with Mr. Zhongli.

It had been exactly six months since you’d moved away from your home in the sleepy Qingce Village in exchange for a job at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor and a quaint apparently in the bustling city of Liyue Harbor. To celebrate, your coworker (and the person you had been shadowing in order to learn the ropes of the funeral business) Mr. Zhongli had insisted on going to Third-Round Knockout for some dinner. You’d been a bit hesitant at first, mostly because you knew well of the elegant gentleman’s habit of forgetting his wallet, but you enjoyed hearing his stories far too much to say no. Something about his retellings of stories about the Adepti just enraptured you.

Afterward, the two of you had decided to walk around the city and look at the displays in shops, since you had decided that your hard work warranted splurging a little as a reward of sorts. You had of course asked Mr. Zhongli to join you since he had such exquisite taste and an eye for the authentic, you valued his opinion greatly.

That’s how the two of you ended up at Xigu Antiques, browsing the display case. All of a sudden, your eyes zeroed in on a broach that resembles a little violetgrass plant, its downturned leaves made up of what you could only guess was noctilucous jade. It was, for lack of a better word, stunning.

“Mr. Zhongli,” you exclaimed, tugging at his sleeve to call his attention away from a porcelain teapot with gold little geo symbols as decoration, “what do you think of this one? It’s quite beautiful isn’t it?”

The dark-haired man looked at the broach you were pointing at before going tense, a small gasp escaping him as his beautiful amber eyes widened slightly. You looked at him in concern, you’d never seen the man come this close to losing his composure.

“Oh,” he said, clearing his throat, “is this the one you’re thinking of purchasing? I’d advise against it. Even by just a mere glance, I can tell it is not made of real noctilucous jade.”

Strangely, you felt as though he wasn’t being truthful with you.

“Well, that’s alright. I don’t really care about the authenticity and it’s pretty cheap. If it is a fake, I don’t really have much to lose. Plus, I’ve always loved violetgrass. This broach could be like a little homage to that!” You answered, letting out a little giggle.

“You’ve heard of the Vigilant Yaksha and the violetgrass maiden, am I correct?” He asked.

“Oh, yes I have! My Gran used to tell it to me and the rest of the village children back when I was young. It always made me so sad, how they can never be together. It was pretty silly now that I think about it, but I would bawl my eyes out every time. The rest of the kids would tease me a bit but I just couldn’t control it,” you reminisced.

“I- well, yes in any case, they say that anyone who possesses that broach will be cursed to meet the same fate,” Zhongli added, trying his best to dissuade you from buying the old broach, dread creeping into his stomach as he thought of what might happen to you- to the both of you.

“Of course you’d believe old supersticiones, Mr. Zhongli,” you said, letting out a lighthearted laugh that could make any heart, even one of stone, melt, “it’s very on brand! However, I’m sure there’s no need to be worried, after all, it’s nothing but an old myth! And even if it is real, you yourself said that it’s not made of the real stuff.”

Before Zhongli could figure a way to change the unchangeable, you had already purchased the broach. As you kept on leading the funeral consultant around the streets of Liyue Harbor, bag in hand, prattling on about anything and everything, he couldn’t help but feel his heart sink. A single thought, the same one you would later have, crossed his mind.

If only you hadn’t bought that goddamned broach.

In a fit of anger and desperation, you ripped the detested broach off of your shirt, throwing it at Xiao. You hoped it would somehow break into millions of tiny pieces.

After a beat of silence, Xiao spoke, “Eat.”

“No,” you yelled, before breaking down into a fit of angry sob, “I hate you!”

As soon as the words left your mouth, Xiao lurched forward so close your noses were almost touching, and for a second you think he’s gonna hit you but instead, he simply rests his forehead on yours and closes his eyes. When he pulls away, your sobs have waned into hiccups. Without saying so much as a word Xiao clasps the violetgrass broach onto your shirt, where it belongs.

“Eat,” is all he says, placing the now lukewarm soup into your hands.

Scared, tired, and sad, you do as he said, taking small sips of the admittedly tasty dish. He does nothing more than stare at her with those intense amber eyes of his for a few minutes before turning around and heading towards the door.

Before he leaves he turns his head back to look at her and says, “I don’t care if you don’t like me. Hate me for all I care. As long as you stay alive I don’t care.”

[7wanderingpaws]

Always, yours (6) M

Word count: 9.5K (!)

Warnings: language, mature content, angst 

tags: @geniusloey @taemin-jaemin @wooya1224 @f4ncyvelvet

Masterlist / story masterlist

<– Previous

“Is it still happening?” 

Your doctor was surprised when you were sitting in her office. The triplets were with Baekhyun who was standing just beside your chair. On his chest and back he had Jun and Juna and Junhee was in the basket carrier, for once sleeping peacefully.

You nodded, trying not to feel ashamed. It wasn’t your fault that you were overproducing milk. “It seems like it doesn’t have a proper schedule. After I breastfeed or pump it starts leaking again.”

Your doctor nodded seriously, frowning. “Did you release breast milk when the babies cry? Or perhaps after an orgasm?”

Her question made you beetroot red in the face and you quickly looked down on your connected hands , suddenly feeling hot and embarrassed.

You doctor let out a little chuckle, mumbling a “cute” when you felt Baekhyun’s comforting hand on your shoulder. To your utter horror, he replied: “She releases milk at any time of the day but during sex she was complaining about feeling the pressure in her breasts. I helped her out with it so that we could carry on,” he informed, not ashamed at all.

It made you remember the time when he was shy to ask whether you two could have sex during your pregnancy. And now he said this. A typical  upgrade of a parent. You lose all sense boundaries. You did the deed and now you have kids. As simple as that.

Your eyes widened. “Well, yes, that’s true. I felt pressure during eh, sex, and I knew there would be a release so…”

“That is totally natural, nothing to be embarrassed about,” reassured you the doctor kindly. “It’s only normal for the father to try the breast milk, even more so during sexual intercourse.” She paused for a moment. “So, this is what we are gonna do - we will try a block feeding technique. You will have to empty your breasts every morning, and then try feeding your little ones. If Jun is still struggling with refluxes, this should help. He is very small but if he feeds well and correctly, I’m sure he will be just fine.”

You nodded, still feeling worried. Jun was doing well but sometimes the milk wouldn’t sit well with him which would cause the reflux.

“The first dosage of the milk consists of lactose, the fat comes quite later on during the feeding process. You are feeding three mouths, so naturally there are gaps in between and each baby can get a different intake.”

“So my wife can still breastfeed, right?” asked Baekhyun, his hand caressing your shoulder gently. You enjoyed the touch; it reminded you that you were in this together.

“Yes, of course. This technique should not be done longer than five days, however, so make sure to check for any improvements, alright?” When you nodded, she said: “I’ll examine your breasts, now, if you’ll please move to the bed and remove your top and bra.”

Ah, how much was this uncomfortable but you got used to it completely. Everyone present in the room knew your breasts very well. It almost seemed like they knew them better than you did.

“You can also try to start using formula,” suggested gently the doctor as you took off your shirt and unclasped your bra. You were sitting on the bed in front of her, the colder air in the room creating goosebumps. “There is nothing wrong with that.”

“I know,” you murmured, shivering at the air hitting your warm skin.

“Oh, dear, you lost quite some weight,” she said when she took a better look. “Aren’t we thinking too much about the babies and too little about our mummy, hm?” she asked in a chastising tone but with a motherly smile.

You stole a glance at Baekhyun who was caressing Jun’s head, playing with the thin baby hair, while giving you a thoughtful look.

<3

“Thank you for coming with us today,” you told Baekhyun once you finally made it home. Triplets fell asleep during the transfer, so you were trying to eat late lunch before they would wake up.

“Sweetheart,” murmured Baekhyun with a frown and he stepped closer to you, stopping you from slurping the warm soup he heated up. “What do you mean? Of course I’d come. I’m your husband.”

You shrugged, not looking him in the eye. “I know but still… I guess your job is important-“

“No, it isn’t important. It isn’t more important than you are,” he murmured gently and caressed your cheek, expecting you to look at him but you didn’t. “What’s wrong? Why wouldn’t you look at me?”

Slowly, you dragged your eyes up to meet his down-turned ones, soft and gentle. “Just a lot in my head’s all. Our parents will be arriving in a few days so I need to clean up.”

The fact that you were getting anxious because of many things happening at the same time made you not want to talk about it. Taking care of the babies, welcoming your family, making a comfortable home for them while they were there - it was a little too much.

“I’ll do that, okay? You can start the laundry but I don’t want you to stress about this, am I clear?” His voice wasn’t stern but it was strict enough for you to nod obediently, preferring the idea of Baekhyun doing all the work while you could rest a little bit.

“Good,” he smiled, satisfied, “and now give me a kiss.”

You managed to smile as you strained your neck, kissing him over the bar table. He hummed in appreciation, prolonging the precious moment.

“Now eat,” he ordered teasingly and you laughed breathily when you sat down, your tummy rumbling with hunger.

You were eating in peaceful silence, the clinking of cutlery the only noise in the apartment. The day was barely half-way done but you felt tiredness creeping up your limbs; the more you ate, the sleepier you became.

When you and Baekhyun finished, you stood up, leaving the dishes on the table and walked over to him, taking his arm in your hands and gently pulling on it. “Let’s have a little nap together, I’m tired.”

Baekhyun observed you with amusement. “Of course. I’ll just clean up and follow you.”

You pouted and shook your head, widening your eyes at him as you dragged him out of the kitchen and straight into your bedroom. He laughed as he let you, and when you reached the bed you slipped under the covers, the AC having cooled down the apartment into the perfect cuddling temperature. Baekhyun followed you and once the both of you made yourselves comfortable, you found your way to him, your head resting on his chest while he tucked your head under his chin.

“Sleep, sweetheart,” he cooed into your hair. “You’ve had a long day already.”

You hummed and completely melted at the way he rubbed your back in slow, dragging motions. His scent and slow heartbeat finally made you lose conscious, dreamland welcoming you with open arms.

<3

“Look at these outfits!” Sukyeong pushed her phone into your face excitedly and you tried to not show your discomfort too obviously. You frowned with a pout as you observed a gorgeous summer dress on a model, the slit of the skirt revealing her long legs. “You’d look stunning in it!”

You sighed and reached for your cup of green tea. You were sitting in a posh tea house where one needed a reservation in order to be able to get in. Sukyeong always had your back and she promised to pay. Hence you didn’t bother looking at the price tag that went over 30.000won per one serving “You know I’d look horrible.”

She shook her head resolutely but her eyes were trained on the screen as her finger was eagerly scrolling through an endless Instagram feed with beautiful women. “You can pull off any look.”

Biting your lip, you nodded, feeling your eyes burn up with frustrating tears. Sukyeong was a great friend. But she was never a mother and had never been through a pregnancy. And it showed.

“You lost a lot of weight,” she finally looked up at you and put her phone away when she spotted your red eyes. “Since the last time I saw you- do you even eat?”

Not wanting to talk, you averted your gaze to the surroundings, noting how the tea room was peaceful. There were lots of issues within you that you refused to address, and none of them was about having triplets. Everything had to do with you.

“Oh, dear, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you the past couple of weeks,” she told you, reaching for your hand.

“No, no, you have your own life. I barely had time to think, I was so busy.”

“I feel like a lot has happened during that time,” she murmured with worry, observing your pale cheeks. Sukyeong knew you for quite a while. She knew you as a determined and happy woman, very independent. Now she thought that she saw someone who really needed someone. “Is everything okay with you and Baek?”

“It’s great!” you replied quickly.

“What happened?” she asked with even more worry and this time your tears grew like sprouts, escaping your eyes. “Shh, if you don’t want to talk about it-“

“There is so much going on and at the same time…” you shrugged, not sure how to express yourself, “...nothing is happening at all.”

Sukyeong gave you some time to collect your thoughts for which you were grateful. As much as she could be a little too excited, she knew when to shut up and listen.

“A couple of weeks ago Junho appeared at our doorstep in the morning, he came with a sweater that didn’t belong to me, and Baekhyun didn’t take it too well. We had a fight. Since then, yeah,” you sighed, tapping at your wet cheeks, “it’s all weird.”

Sukyeong was silently looking at the smoothness of the table, at the tea pots filled with fresh green tea.

“It’s fine, nothing worrisome I guess,” you  added, not wanting to sound like the party pooper.

She murmured your name, and looked at you with something that looked like guilt in her eyes. “I need to tell you something…”

“Yeah? What is it?” you asked nonchalantly.

She sighed, closing her eyes for a second before she had to face your obliviousness. “It’s me who sent Junho to your house.”

“What!” you gasped so loudly some people turned to look at you, and Sukyeong quickly brought her chair closer to you, seeking a little privacy from the prying eyes.

“I gave him the sweater and told him to visit you! But my intentions were…” she trailed off, looking like a kid caught with a cookie.

“What the hell? What were your intentions?”

Oh boy, you looked pissed. Your eyes were burning up with anger.

“I wanted Baekhyun to meet him and… and… well, you know, bring some fire into your relationship-“

“Jesus Christ, Sukyeong!” you groaned, mad at her but still unable to fight the furious blush at her words. “That’s ridiculous! Me and Baek are married in case you forgot,” you added in a loud whisper. “It’s not like he just knocked me up and left!”

“I know, I know, but he was always MIA and I didn’t want him to neglect my best friend! You’re left alone with three kids!”

“What’s that have to do with making Baekhyun jealous? We had a huge fight and our relationship has been a little angsty since then.” Well, from your point of view at least. Baekhyun acted like all was fine but you couldn’t tell whether he really acted or he was actually that clueless about the underlying issues you both had. Let alone, the fight was nasty and you still had a lot on your mind to tell him but refrained from speaking up. You didn't even finish the talk after the huge fight like he said he wanted to do.

“Just so you know, you’re way too lenient about him and his darn professor job. You’ve got three babies for Christ’s sake.”

“But we need money! I’m not working and he is the only source of income we have. We live in that darn upscale apartment but at what cost? It’s hard to keep up with that and with three babies that need a nappy change almost every second hour of the day.”

“I understand it’s hard but Baekhyun does not work hard enough for you.”

Your nose prickled in an instant because she hit the right spot. You promptly looked away, wanting to avoid her fiery gaze.

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

Your silence told Sukyeong more than enough. She sighed and crossed her legs. “What was the fight about? You said after Junho appeared you had a fight.”

After several seconds of hesitation you told her. The highlight, of course, was Baekhyun’s harsh words about your jealousy when in fact it was all pregnancy issues at the time.

“No way he said that,” she mumbled in astonishment, her eyes looking somewhere far in the distance. “He dared to twist something like that?”

You could only shrug again. “It’s already resolved. We talked it out, he apologized and I’m not planning to keep grudges against him. I can’t fight with him, Sukyeonga. If I do, it feels like I’m going against everything that is me. He is part of me.”

Sukyeong could only sigh; both in affection and slight frustration. She knew how much of a strong relationship you and Baekhyun shared, but as your close friend she was worried. As much as she trusted Baekhyun and considered him a close friend as well, he was still a man.

“You need to be stronger than that,” she told you finally with a gentle tone as she held your hand. “I’m not implying anything more, just that you should always know your worth. Even when you are head over heels for each other.”

You sighed, though a little frustratingly. “I understand what you are trying to say, Sukyeonga. I really do…”

“You need to find a hobby or a job. I know you can’t do much with triplets needing your care and even sitters are pricey-“

“I’m not leaving my kids with a sitter!”

“-so you need to find work that you could do from home.”

Another sigh left your lips, your body completely deflating. “I’m already looking around for possible jobs but yeah… I’m tied down for a bit, at least until the munchkins are a little older and can start the kindergarten.”

Sukyeong nodded in understanding. “Whatever it will be like in the future, I'll support you. And make sure to show Baekhyun you’re not tied down to him.”

<3

The time for Baekhyun’s graduation ceremony came very fast. It was a given when every day became identical with the previous one. However, the anxiety you’d been feeling due to your family arriving was just rising by each day and you didn’t like the uncomfortable pressure it left you within your chest. With crying babies, and a lot to plan for their grandparents, you felt a little suffocated. Baekhyun, even though being home a lot more just as he promised, was not that much of a consolation. You had anxiety and you didn’t even realize it.

“I’m going to go pick them up at Seoul station,” told you Baekhyun when the time came. He had his phone and wallet prepared and he was walking over to you, seated in the living room where you were feeding Jun. Gradually, you were changing their feeding habits, mixing in some formula for the babies that were growing like mushrooms after rain.

You felt your eyes burn up with tears. For whatever reason. “Okay, update me when you’re with them.”

He hummed and leaned over you, his hand resting behind you on the backrest, wafting the faint mix of his perfume and baby detergent your way. “We’ll be back with you soon.”

You finally looked up when you felt him puckering his lips for an expecting kiss. He saw the way your eyes glistened and he moved away slightly.

“Babe, are you crying? What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, frustration rising. “I’m good. I’ll be good by the time you’ll come home. I’m just-“ you stopped abruptly, shaking your head. “I’m fine there is no need to overthink this.”

“Shh, sweetheart, you’re blabbering right now,” he sat down next to you, bringing his free hand up to your cheek. “Calm down.”

You squeezed your eyes shut and you unintentionally squeezed Jun as well. He let out a little cough and you quickly eased up the hold, not wanting him to get sick.

“Give me Jun and tell me what’s wrong,” suggested Baekhyun with worried eyes. He reached out for the baby only for it to whine when he tried to disattach his little mouth from your nipple. “Junnie, let mummy go for a bit.”

You kept crying, tears creating small waterfalls on your cheeks. Letting your head drop back on the backrest of the sofa, you felt Jun finally disattach, his crying growing with every second he spent without his milk.

Baekhyun tried to shush him while his other hand brought your shirt up to cover your chest. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“I’m so nervous and I don’t even know why,” you finally said, the wailing growing more and more irritating , causing small ringing in your ears. “I feel like too much is happening at the same time and I don’t know if I can welcome all of them here while at the same time taking care of the babies!”

Baekhyun was looking at you as he maneuvered Jun into a proper position, his head on his shoulder, his hand gently tapping the crying baby on his back. It was important to recognize when the baby was just greedy and when they really needed to feed. He was aware that you had been sitting with him for a while. “We are in this together, okay? Your priority is always the kids. I’ll take care of the rest- I thought we talked about this?”

“I know! But the house will be so full and busy and overwhelming and I just don’t want them to judge me as a mother and the way I take care of our kids and maybe they won’t like where they’ll sleep-“

“Did you already forget where we come from?” asked Baekhyun seriously and with that your crying ceased. When Baekhyun noticed, he added: “Our parents are anything but judgemental of the city life we live here. If you think they’ll judge the fact that they can sleep on a comfortable bed instead of the floor, then I don’t know if you grew up in the same village like me.”

You looked at him with red, puffy eyes. Jun was whimpering but soon a good burp followed and it made you and Baekhyun a little relieved. No reflux and a good burp. The perfect baby. “I’m sorry I’m just…” your lip trembled again, because you would never forget where you came from. What you and Baekhyun had now was so special, you forgot how a simple life was back home.

“You’re overwhelmed, I understand,” he told you, the gentleness back in his voice now. He reached out with his other hand for your thigh and squeezed it while he supported Jun’s butt with the other one. “I promise I’ll take care of everything. You do you, you do your motherly job and we will be all here to help you. They’ll most probably steal the munchkins away from us anyway,” he laughed softly.

You nodded, sniffing. “You’re right.” I hope they do, you added in your head but you hated yourself immediately for it. You desperately  wanted alone time but admitting it out loud would make you feel like a terrible mother. “You should go, honey, let them not wait for you.”

He nodded and caressed Jun a little longer before pressing a kiss to his temple and handing him back to you. “Kiss,” he demanded when you accepted the baby, and you smiled tiredly. You pressed your lips to his smooth cheek and he gave you a boyish smile.

And so, just like that the time passed with Baekhyun’s promises kept. You were relieved to hug your parents and always happy to see Baekhyun’s carefree mother and father.

When you were all at the venue, the huge hall full of older and younger people, you couldn’t help the excitement that was boiling in the pit of your tummy, mixed with anxiety. Baekhyun had to leave the apartment earlier to prepare, and thanks to your parents and in-laws you could make it safely to the busy event.

He nodded and caressed Jun a little longer before pressing a kiss to his temple and handing him back to you. “Kiss,” he demanded when you accepted the baby, and you smiled tiredly. You pressed your lips to his smooth cheek and he gave you a boyish smile.

And so, just like that the time passed with Baekhyun’s promises kept. You were relieved to hug your parents and always happy to see Baekhyun’s carefree mother and father.

When you were all at the venue, the huge hall full of older and younger people, you couldn’t help the excitement that was boiling in the pit of your tummy, mixed with anxiety. Baekhyun had to leave the apartment earlier to prepare, and thanks to your parents and in-laws you could make it safely to the busy event.

You managed to survive the ceremony with babies either looking around with curious stares or eventually falling asleep. There was only one moment when Junhee felt like scrunching up her face, letting you know she was not happy. A whimper left her and when you felt some people turning their heads you were fast to take her in your arms. Her small hands immediately tangled up in your hair because as you reached down it fell over your shoulder. 

You shushed her quietly while she made sure to let you know you would have to work harder for her to shut up. So as you bounced gently on your feet to lull her into inactivity, you caught eyes with Baekhyun who was smiling at the sight of you from afar. He was seated there, on the stage, with other masters and doctoral students. They weren’t that many altogether, but they all still heard you nonetheless.

Reciprocating the smile while feeling like you had an intimate moment with your husband, while Junhee was pulling on your hair, Baekhyun chuckled and looked back at the dean doing his closing speech, paying attention.

You sighed, realizing your elevated heart beat thanks to him. Baekhyun’s golden band on his finger shone as his hands were resting on his thighs. Your own band was, as always, comfortably sitting on your fourth finger, that same hand patting Junhee on her small bum gently.

Being at this stage with the munchkins, they were growing to like nonsense talking. You always let them converse away at home, but Junhee really felt like speaking her mind about the dean’s speech.

Gradually, more people paid attention to you rather than to the dean. You tried to shush her quickly, exchanging looks with your mother sitting on the edge seat of the row. She had an endearing smile on her face so it managed to calm you down.

Being with talkative triplets, well in this case just one out of three, came with attention.

“Baby girl, be quiet, hm?” you whispered, puckering your lips against her temple, still bouncing on your heels. “Pay attention to daddy,” you prompted but fruitlessly. “He is right there, aha-“ you turned to point your finger where Baekhyun was seated, not too far away.

Junhee pushed her fingers into her mouth as she blabbered before taking the same hand out of her mouth and smacking you with it on your cheek. Great.

“Junhee, look, daddy,” you shushed in her ear and once again pointed with your finger at your husband. You had his full attention now given how almost everyone could hear the baby talk.

Baekhyun waved cutely, smiling widely, his eyes small crescents. He sent her air kisses and you noticed Junhee watching him intently.

“D-d-d-d…” she kept murmuring and you giggled. Just then she let out a huge, screechy squeal, making you flinch away from the loudness.

“Shhh,” you tried but the dean stopped talking, looking your way now. You felt your heart drop at the attention and you took a few steps back, signaling to your mum that you’ll be outside with her so you wouldn’t disturb anymore.

“What a lively baby in the audience tonight!” pointed the dean, making everyone laugh. You managed to let out an uneasy laugh, bowing to everyone in apologies. “Is it a he or she?” He asked into the microphone and by now your heart was beating with adrenaline.

“Eh…”

“It’s a she, sir.”

Baekhyun looked proud when he spoke up from his seat, his eyes steadily set on you and your daughter.

“Very well, Mr Byun. We should invite her for speeches next time,” joked the dean and once again, everyone laughed.

You smiled, though you were beetroot red in your face. Junhee clapped cheerfully as if she understood, prompting everyone to laugh again.

“Junhee, calm down, baby,” you tried but to no avail. Eventually, you motioned to Baekhyun that you’ll be out and when you made sure the rest of the triplets were still sleeping, you slowly exited the hall; the ceremony would be ending any minute anyway.

After pacing for a couple of minutes outside in the shadow, you talked to Junhee, fueling her interest in talking as much as you could, now that you wouldn't disturb anyone. It was then that a woman in a beautiful, flowing dress approached you, taking off her dark specs before talking to you.

“Excuse me.” You turned around to her, smiling politely. Junhee went quiet at the intrusion. “Are you perhaps Byun Baekhyun’s wife?”

You nodded, a little unsurely. “Yes.”

“Nice to meet you! I knew I saw you somewhere and with the baby that looks a little like him I knew I was right,” she smiled widely at you. “I’m his colleague, I teach sports ethics and diplomacy. Jung Jaina.”

You nodded, her foreign name not processing in your mind. “Ah, nice to meet you.”

Why was Baekhyun always working with such pretty women? They looked so confident, put-together. Or maybe it was just your self-confidence that was so low.

“You’re so beautiful in real life, I can totally see where Baekhyun is coming from,” she added, her eyes sparkling. Her comment was kind, but it still left you insecure. “And this little one too.” She reached over and grabbed Junhee’s reddened cheek, pulling on it gently.

Junhee pouted big time before she pushed her tongue out on the lady in front of her. At that moment, you wanted to laugh so badly, but you tried to keep your face straight.

“She is too young, still,” commented Jaina as if it wasn’t awkward at all. You were nodding when, thankfully, your parents approached you, the hall filling out with people, waiting for the graduates to come out.

“Ah, here you are, daughter-in-law,” smiled Baekhyun’s father gently. “Let me handle her now, you worked enough,” he rasped and reached out for Junhee who was enjoying the attention.

“Very nice family, indeed,” commented Jaina as he watched you handing Junhee to her grandfather. “As you know, Baekhyun will go to Japan in September,” she started and you turned to her politely, letting her know you were paying attention. “It’s a great opportunity for him to grow. He has a huge potential. Our previous dean was young. I could imagine Baekhyun as a young dean too, if he’d work hard enough.”

“He just started. It’s way too soon to think he would become a dean, isn’t it?” you replied, smiling but not liking the direction of the conversation. Baekhyun becoming a dean would make him even busier.

“He has a lot of talents. Leadership is one of them and it’s the most important one. If he does well in Japan, which I’m sure he will, we will try to propose him the opportunity. He would have to do lots of research and teach more classes to get experience, but I have no doubts he is one of the coolest professors we have had in years. Plus, the students love him.”

“He is a likeable man,” you admitted reluctantly.

“You’re lucky,” she added with a strained smile just when you felt a pair of hands around your waist, the man in question finally appearing.

He kissed your neck, making your eyes go wide before he stood next to you and bowed to Jaina. “Miss.”

She nodded with acknowledgment. “You have a beautiful family, Baekhyun.”

“Oh yes, indeed,” he smiled cheekily, squeezing your waist.

Jaina observed the two of you a little longer. “I shall take my leave now. Congratulations, Baekhyun. See you next week.” She put on her specs and walked away, greeting people in her way.

“You met Jaina?” Baekhyun spoke up before you’d return to your family. They were too preoccupied with triplets who were now all awake.

You nodded, turning to him. His hand caressed your back. “She seems nice.”

“She is the boss,” Baekhyun chuckled, shrugging. He moved his head closer, whispering into your ear: “You looked so cute with Junhee in there, mummy.” His breath tickled you and you smiled gently. He looked at your face and stole a small kiss. “My beautiful wife.” His eyes traveled quickly over your dress, liking the way it looked on you.

“Congratulations to my smart hubby,” you played along and you circled your arms around his neck. “Your wifey is very proud of you.” You stood to kiss his cheek and Baekhyun let you. His eyes were sparkling at the sight of you. “Let’s go, triplets have something to say too.”

He laughed and took your hand, following you. He was welcomed by his parents and yours. The atmosphere was cheerful and you felt relieved that nothing bad went down during the ceremony. 

Everyone was taking pictures together, first Baekhyun alone with flowers and the majestic main building in the background, then you joined him, just the couple alone. Baekhyun tickled your sides, making you squirm and burst out into laughter while he watched you with a wide smile. He knew your parents didn't know how to work smartphones well, and so the sound of the shutter kept going off and off and off, catching every second of the banter. Your babies, each held by a grandparent, were watching you with big eyes, almost judgmentally scrunching up their faces. They were jealous when you and Baekhyn had a good time without them. Eventually, Baekhyun hugged you to his chest, his hands resting against your stomach, creating a lovely picture of the two of you. 

Of course it wouldn't be a family picture without your little munchkins. You took them in your arms before they could start a rally, Baekhuyn holding Juna and Junhee while you took your only son. As they were growing, it became harder to balance two babies in his arms, but Baekhyun would never give it up unless it was completely impossible to hold them.

You loved seeing your whole family together. But you loved it the most when Baekhyun was there, too.

<3

Both of you giggled at the same time when your hand tried to tickle his stomach and his fingers teasingly caressed your hip. You squirmed, hiding your face in his neck as you felt his breathy laugh on yours.

“Shh, don’t want to wake our parents, hm?” he hummed with a huge, boyish smile on his face but his fingers were relentless.

“Baekhyun!” you hissed breathlessly and tried to shimmy away from him but he was stronger. As soon as you managed to move an inch, he brought you back to him, his palm smoothening the skin, gently inching higher on your side, successfully leaving goosebumps in its wake. You pressed your face into his neck to hide the redness.

“I stopped now,” he murmured, a handsome timbre. “Want to leave your hiding space now?”

After a little hesitation, you leaned away from his neck and met his soft eyes. “Don’t tickle anymore.”

“I won’t, promise,” he smiled when his eye caught your pout. “But you tickled too.”

“To defend myself!”

“Then you promise too,” pouted Baekhyun as he rested his head on the pillow, facing you.

You were quick to scurry to him and he chuckled. “Okay, I won’t tickle you either. Promise,” you murmured into his clothed chest.

A hum came in a reply and you felt his head move, looking down at the top of your head. “And now seal it with a kiss.”

You smiled to yourself, letting your hand rub his chest as you looked up and strained your neck to kiss his puckering lips. A loud smack resonated through the quiet bedroom and you felt your heart skip a beat, hoping Baekhyun’s parents who were sleeping in the living room didn’t hear it.

“Mmm, one more,” you demanded and this time Baekhyun captured your lower lip, engaging you in a proper, romantic kiss that had your toes tingle. His hand came to cup your cheek and the both of you shifted, the bed sheets rustling. He hovered over you while slowly playing with your soft pillows, making sure to use minimum tongue as none of you wanted a heated session now out of all times. 

When he let go with a gentle smooch, he only moved away an inch, deciding to stay a little longer to smile at you. “You’re so pretty, my little lady.”

The unexpected words surprised you and a furious blush creeped in your cheeks, bringing sudden warmth into your body. “Ah, what are you saying.”

“The truth,” he replied calmly and pressed a final kiss to your forehead before he moved away and lied down next to you.

You sighed and once again scooted closer to him, wrapping your arm around his middle. Baekhyun caressed your hand and proceeded to wrap you up in his arms as well. “I’ll miss you when you’re gone.”

“Oh baby, I’ll miss you too. And our munchkins,” he murmured and you pecked his cheek. “And these kisses.”

You smiled widely and kissed him again.

“But baby?” he asked, his voice raspy. You perked up, prompting him to go on. “Promise me you’ll keep close touch? And no surprises.”

Your eyebrows went shooting upwards at his weird demand. “We are always in close touch, honey. And whatever you mean with no surprises?”

He was observing you for a moment, thinking over how to speak his mind, his eyes flickering from your eyes to your nose and lips before looking back up to your expecting orbs. “I meant that… be careful. You’ll be home alone and I just don’t want uninvited guests.”

“You mean Junho?”

Baekhyun trailed his fingertips over your back. “Yeah,” he breathed, warily expecting your reaction. The last time you talked about Lee Junho you had a huge fight.

“I’m not in touch with him. Why would I be with him, Baekhyun?”

“He came uninvited last time,” he pointed out.

“That wasn’t my fault.”

“No, it wasn’t your fault, but I’m just saying that if it occurs again, I don’t want you to let him in is all.”

This time you observed your husband, his calm and collected expression an opposite to your gradually igniting insides. You felt like this was unfair towards you. Again.

“I'm not trying to cage you in-“

“Are all those beautiful female colleagues going with you to Japan as well? Will somehow Jiyoung appear too?” you asked in a colder tone and Baekhyun realized that you were building up your walls again.

“Yes, one of them is,” he told you honestly. His fingers have stopped caressing your skin, now frozen just between your shoulder blades.

“Okay, well then -“ you felt a painful lump in your throat forming at the fact that he didn’t even bother denying they weren’t beautiful- “make sure you don’t have uninvited guests in your hotel room,” you deadpanned. “You are a taken man after all.”

You scurried away, his hand falling on the space you created between the two of you. Baekhyun blinked in confusion and propped himself up on his elbow, looking at your back facing him. “Baby, what is wrong now? I only told you because I’m worried.”

“And am I not allowed to be worried? To let my handsome, charming husband who always needs attention, go on a one week long trip?”

His hand found its way to your hip when you felt his front pressed to your back. “Yet that husband wants only one woman’s attention.”

“It’s not gonna work,” you muttered stubbornly, trying to suppress the need to submit to his touches. “If you think the first thing I’d do is let another man - whom I don’t even know properly - enter our place without you knowing than I don’t know what we are doing,” you told him honestly, your gaze intently set in the curtains that allowed you to see the distant lights of other high rise buildings. Since you had the babies, you didn’t bother pulling the blackouts as you never got the proper rest anyway. Had you had blackouts you’d want to stay in bed all the time.

Baekhyun sighed but he still bunched up your shirt so he could accommodate his hand under it. “I just didn’t like how he came here suddenly and with a pathetic reasoning. If he does it again-“

“But he won’t-“

“If he does it again, I don’t want you to let him in if you’re by yourself with the little ones,” he finished more sternly, gradually disliking your attitude. You knew he was getting into the “I’m older” position.

You pursed your lips; you, on the other hand, didn’t like his attitude and his request.

“Hm?” Baekhyun gently squeezed your hip, urging you to acknowledge his words. “Answer me, sweetheart.”

“Alright,” you mumbled reluctantly.

He was quiet for a moment, closely inspecting your side profile. “You know I don’t mean bad. We don’t know who he is and whether he is even trustable. What if he did something to you?” Baekhyun had his own point that he wasn’t willing to let up on. He was a man and he knew what a man who wants a woman looked like. You wouldn’t understand him, but he knew what he was doing and he didn’t feel comfortable with the thought of you being near him. Obviously Lee Junho didn’t give two damns that you were happily married; therefore very much taken.

“Don’t be mad,” he sighed after a while when you still wouldn’t look at him. He brought his face closer to yours. “I don’t like us going to sleep with unresolved feelings, baby.”

“Me neither,” you muttered, closing your eyes when you felt his nose on your cheek.

“Then talk to me,” he rasped into your ear as his hand wandered under your shirt, igniting your insides with passion. “Talk to oppa.”

You sighed and moved to lay on your back, Baekhyun’s hand slipping and brushing your mound. You felt the thrill curse through you at the sensation. “I won’t let him come in. I don’t think he would  even visit anymore - but okay, I won’t do anything that you’d say no to,” you started and shivered when his thumb ran under your breast. He was watching you intently almost making you think he was looking for reactions from his sneaky actions. “But I will ask you to make a definite line between you and your colleagues. You have me and three kids. I don’t want you to flirt or even acknowledge their advances on you. You’re the professor who is hot and all the ladies want but is the most forbidden fruit in the department,” you said seriously. As you talked, Baekhyun’s smile grew.

“They know my situation, baby, there is no need for you to worry. Like, none at all. I always show them pictures of our munchkins and of you. You’re literally the background of my screen.”

You knew all of it of course. His lock screen was a selfie of the two of you smiling with your sleeping triplets after you signed the marriage papers, both of you dressed up. And his home screen picture was, to your dismay, you lying down with one leg prompted on the wall and the other spread to the other side with a very much pregnant bump revealed as the shirt was bunched up, ready for Baekhyun to apply some cream against the stretch marks. You were smiling at him with glistening red cheeks and you looked incredibly happy. That picture always surprised you; you had to admit that happiness really made everyone more beautiful and you weren’t an exception.

“I don’t care,” you whispered, closing your eyes when his palm dared to take a gentle hold of your mound, the way both of your bodies shifted closer once again making the bed sheets rustle in the quiet room exciting. “I don’t want any of that,” your mouth fell open with a shaky breath, Baekhyun’s face coming to your neck where he gave you a wet kiss.

“Okay, as you say, my princess,” he breathed, his hand now massaging your mound sensually.

Unconsciously you moved towards him, trying to make you more exposed to his wandering hand, your chest widening. He nibbled at the skin under your ear, his hand still working as if making a bread dough. 

“I don’t want you to be upset with me when I mean well,” he whispered in your ear, shifting closer to you until you felt him pressing to the outside of your thigh. “I don’t want you to misunderstand my intentions, baby,” he breathed shakily when you squirmed against him. You turned your head, a low moan leaving your mouth when you seeked his lips.

“I know, sweetheart,” you replied when his soft lips hovered above yours. “I know you mean well.” He hummed in reply and kissed you passionately, bringing out another small moan out of you. He traced the outline of your lower lip with his tongue, while his hand kept abusing your mound and nipple. He separated for the slightest moments, moving his head to the other direction before diving in again, pushing his tongue in as if it always belonged there. His hand traveled lower over your rib cage until it lay on your hip. He pushed it between the mattress, taking a hold of your bum, giving it a squeeze. Your own hands were messing up his hair before you dragged them over his chest and tummy, teasing the naked skin between his pants and t-shirt. Baekhyun shivered when you proceeded to abuse the inside of his pants.

“Sweetheart,” he breathed shakily when he separated with a delicious smack. “Not now.”

You were a little dizzy from the hotness of the room, your husband looking so alluring you couldn’t help yourself when you whispered: “Can you keep quiet?”

“Sweet-“

“Can you?” you pressed challengingly when you felt his own hand seeking an entrance into your panties. To prove your point, you wanted to move your hand lower but didn’t have to; you squealed quietly when you felt his tip right up. Baekhyun had to be in the mood for a while.

Baekhyun giggled at the sight of you, his face hiding in your neck to keep silent. “You dare to be innocent after what you’ve been doing just now?” he murmured and clicked his tongue. “Or after making three babies?”

You pinked, biting your lip to suppress an embarrassed laugh. “Well, to me it seems like you are refusing to answer me,” you told him mischievously as you slowly, gently pressed your palm against his length and Baekhyun had to close his eyes, his heart skipping wildly at your touches. “I’d love to-“

“Then that’s enough,” you murmured as you tilted your chin upwards, pressing your lips together. Baekhyun hummed and you felt his palm against your womanhood.

Upon feeling you up, Baekhyun abruptly disconnected your lips. “Shit, you’re soaking wet, baby,” he breathed shakily and you squirmed under him, enjoying how he was warm and just so ready in your palm. There was a particular prominent vein that you made sure to outline with your finger and Baekhyun was fast to become defenseless.

“It hurts,” you told him with your lips turned downwards, pretending to be hurt. “You need to take care of it.”

“God, where is this all coming from?”

You didn’t know yourself. Maybe you grew to enjoy the thrill of having to be quiet but be up to no good with him in your bedroom. You grew to look forward to what he would do if you tested him a little bit. You found yourself liking it when he was a little rough, a little out of his usual role.

“How about we both help each other out?” he whispered when you didn’t answer, his face close. “Like that one time,” he went on and separated your wet lips, slipping in his middle finger. Your breath hitched in your throat. “When you came to Seoul with me for the first time,” he darted out his tongue, licking at the corner of your lips.

At the mention of that one time, you almost combusted. It was the first time you got intimate with Baekhyun. He managed to persuade your parents to let him come with you when he was attending his university. They trusted him with you, though he couldn't leave without a special talk with your father. Nonetheless, it was a very, very special trip for the both of you.

“Let’s pretend it’s our first time then,” you suggested in a quiet, though a little trembly voice. “Touch me like the first time.”

If you could see properly, you’d witness Baekhyun’s pupils dilating, a flush growing in his cheeks. When your hand landed on his neck, you felt his erratic pulse and you were over the moon that you had that effect on him.

“You’d like that?” he muttered hotly.“You’d like oppa to finger you like you’re a virgin again?”

“Ah, yes,” you heaved when he added his index finger, sinking it knuckle deep inside. You didn’t waste time in wrapping your fingers around him, your thumb landing on his tip where you felt the precum leaking. You made sure to smudge it around, pressing down the slightest to get that soft, high-pitched moan from Baekhyun. He sounded wonderful. 

“You have to keep very, very quiet my little lady,” he murmured. “Since it’s your first time and you’re shy around oppa, I’m sure it won’t be a problem.” He was hinting at your past self. Baekhyun had to practically beg you to moan for him when he touched you the first time. Now he might have to beg for you to shut up.

You nodded and pumped him faster, Baekhyun’s fingers in you momentarily stopping for him to collect himself. He slowly lied down next to you, and you turned to face him. He removed his wet hand and wordlessly grabbed you under your knee before leading it on the top of his hip, spreading your legs. The two fingers were back right away and you let out a small erotic moan, making you squeeze his member a little. Baekhyun groaned quietly, his eyes closed and mouth open. The sight was out of this world and meant only for your eyes. The distant lights from outside illuminated his handsome face, his hair falling over his eyes. You’d brush it away had your hand not been jerking him off.

“Maybe oppa has to be a little more quiet, hm?”you teased breathlessly and let your blunt fingernails scratch ever so gently over the warm, tender skin before you cupped his balls and massaged them to his liking.

Baekhyun scrunched his nose, breathing frantically as he tried to focus on his fingers in you while enjoying your sinful ministrations. “Isn’t my little lady too good at this?”

You giggled quietly but stopped abruptly when he pinched your clit.

“Maybe you did it before?” he wondered aloud.

“Actually, there is this very hot hapkido master in the village,” you played along in a hushed tone and Baekhyun finally opened his eyes with a handsome smile. “He already touched me before you did.”

“So I’m not the first one?”

You dragged your hand higher, pumping him again. You buckled your hips when his thumb circled your clit while progressively adding a third finger, the stretch slightly stinking.

“Unfortunately,” you sighed with fake regret and Baekhyun groaned again, moving to crash your lips with his. He engaged the both of you in a very dirty, fiery kiss while his fingers became harsh and aggressive. You tried to follow your own hands movements but he was kissing the soul out of you. You were sure you’d bruise.

He rolled his hips into your palm and you sped up.

“Then I have to top him,” he said when he separated, breathing into your mouth. “I’ll prove you I’m much better.”

The both of you quickly let go of the old times, and with your experience now you were able to bring Baekhyun to the edge, his manhood twitching with the burning need to release. Before you could reach yours, however, he was fast to take away his hand and pull the covers off of your bodies. In came a strict order: “Suck it off.”

Just when he finished, warm liquid burst from him and you scurried to your knees, leaning over and successfully bringing him into your mouth with a hum. 

You were bobbing your head to give him the necessary warmth your mouth could provide while the release was shooting to the back of your throat. You swallowed as fast as you could though your own missed release made you a little frustrated.

When you made sure Baekhyun was all clean, you wanted to look up but he pushed you onto your back, your mouth undoubtedly letting out a squeal that was too loud.

“Shh,” he pressed a finger that was previously in you onto your lips. “You’ve got to be quiet,” he whispered seriously. And just like that, without realizing what he was up to, Baekhyun sank into you, your mouth hanging open and your back arching at the feel.

He sighed and started to thrust harshly while pushing your shirt up to suck on the swell of your breasts, as if trying to suck the milk out through the skin.

“B-Baek-Baekhyunnn,” you wailed into his ear and brought your hand to your mouth, covering it to keep it down. You were swimming in ecstasy. Your shirt was plastered to your back and your panties were basically ruined with the way they were soaked over. It was so intimate; the way you were both dressed in your sleepwear yet doing such dirty things while your parents were just outside your bedroom.

He snapped his hips and the good old build-up reappeared, making your eyes roll back. Just a few more aggressive strokes and you were coming along with Baekhyun, his hot seed filling you up. Both of you were heaving like you just ran a marathon and Baekhyun made sure to give you a sweet kiss and a little circle of his hips before he fell next to you, spent.

He turned his head, his chest rising and falling rapidly with a lazy smile. “I had to reward my princess for being such a good girl, treating oppa well.”

You smiled tiredly. “You're the best. And there’s no milk leaking,” you pointed out graciously when you didn’t feel any pressure in your breasts. “I guess the tactic is working.”

“Ah, wonderful. Now you won’t be a walking milk fountain.”

<3

Baekhyun was supposed to leave in a day and he was now out running some last minute errands, leaving you and your mother, who decided to stay at your place longer, alone. You were having breakfast, feeling starved after emptying your breasts. The past days, it seemed like Baekhyun and you were impossible not to touch one another, that wouldn’t eventually lead to something more. Especially now that he would be gone for a week, you found yourself sweaty in his arms more often. Last night wasn’t an exception, though you always had to be careful with being noisy since your mother was in the apartment. 

You hummed in delight at her pickled cucumbers that Baekhyun never liked, the crunchy sound loud in the quiet kitchen. 

Your mother was observing you and you felt it. You raised your eyebrows at her in question as you plopped another cucumber into your mouth while your other hand reached for the cup with fresh green tea your mother brought from the village.

Maybe she was shocked at how particularly messy you looked today. You didn’t bother tidying your hair and your shirt was wrinkled as it was carelessly tossed away the previous night by Baekhyun’s eager hands. Your bare legs were on full display as you felt unusually warm, your panties a good enough cover. 

“Daughter,” your mother decided to break the silence, “are you and Baekhyun perhaps… trying again?” 

The cup you were drinking green tea with froze mid way to your mouth. “Huh?”

Her eyes were lower on your neck and you realized with horrification that in the busy tasks of the morning you forgot to cover up your neck that had a few love bites. You weren’t used to having other people around in your house so it didn’t even occur to you to try looking decent. 

You pinked deeply as you shuffled on the stool. “N-no, goodness, why would you ask, mum…”

She sighed. “I might have overheard you a few times already-“

“Jesus!” you gasped, not letting her finish, and you wanted to disappear from the surface of the Earth. 

“It’s fine, no need to freak out, dear,” she ensured you calmly. “I know how you two get along so well and share a strong chemistry. And you’re both in your prime years anyway. I was just worried because you still have triplets that are infants. It’s hard to be a mother to them while you have another one in your tummy, but I know you know that, daughter.”

Even though the idea made your heart skip a beat, you shook your head resolutely. You were out of that safe three month secure zone now. You could fall pregnant even if you breastfed though the chances weren’t high. And if you admitted it, you and Baekhyun were being anything but careful while getting lost in pleasure. “I know, don’t worry. We can’t afford another baby anyway. It’s already challenging financially as it is.” And you didn't even want to get into the details about having to raise kids. It made you freak out - the thought of having to lead your three munchkins in life, prepare them for the bad times while hopefully shaping them into honest and caring people.

Your mum sighed but you saw her face expression soften. “Make sure you are safe then,” she promoted.

You really wanted the earth to swallow you up. “Mum, please… how do you even know we aren't?”

“You’re not taking the pills and obviously… there is nothing in the trash.”

You gasped again and you stood up, ready to run away. “Okay, that’s it. You checked?! Isn’t it weird for you to give me safety tips after birthing triplets? Besides, we have our own trash bin in the bathroom.”

She chuckled deeply, shaking her head. “I think motherhood really changed you. In a good way. Enjoy your life, as you should. Just safely.”

You deflated and sank down on the chair again. “I am. Though not the way I thought I’d be enjoying my life at this age.”

Your mum clicked her tongue. “You should come to the countryside while Baekhyun’s not here. You could catch up with people your age and you’d have a lot of peace. And you know both me and dad want to be with the little ones, Baekhyun’s parents as well.”

As much as it seemed great, you found it incredibly inconvenient to move around with triplets. You didn’t have a car, so you were pushed to use the public transport to reach your far away village.

“I’d love to…”

“Then come.” You looked down at your unfinished tea. “Come home to us for a bit.”

Pretending to be preoccupied with scrutinizing the tea cup, you only hummed. “I'll think about it.”

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

A/N:  It took me over two hours to edit this monster of a chapter. Please comment and reblog to let me know what you thought! :)

[alreadyblondenow]

Jaehyun’s Body | Jung Jaehyun (TEASER)

▸ Jaehyun x reader ▸ Smut, Smut, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Demon Jaehyun ▸ HALLOWEEN SERIES: 127 HOUSE ▸ 5/5 for NEOHALLOWEEN writing festival hosted by @nct-writers​

Summary: Jaehyun is a demon who uses girls to make him stay handsome. He eats girls… literally. Then he met you and he can’t eat you because he’s in love with you.

Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, a lot of killings, Blood, lots and lots of blood, killings again, then another killings, eating of human flesh, filthy (I’m telling you), all kinds of sex, swearing, abduction, mentions of other idols, mentions of eating children but he stopped don’t worry

A/N: Pure fiction, we all know that Jaehyun doesn’t need girls to make him handsome. I made this filthier than ever because it’s my last fic for 127 House. I made a timestamp for this as a bonus preview so if you already read it, yay. Inspired by the movie Jennifer’s Body. Gore (?) after the cut, then followed by smut. 

Date: Nov 5

PREVIEW, SEND AN ASK OR MESSAGE ME IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

Once upon a time, there were five teenagers who want to make a deal with the devil. The clueless teenagers did not know that what they were doing was wrong. Meaning, wrong methods, wrong sacrifice.

Given that they don’t know what they were doing, they singlehandedly or accidentally brought a creature into this world. The bothered creature that was summoned ate the teenagers as the creature was so confused, why was he bothered in his own torture cell in hell?

It starved for days, lost in a world that’s not familiar to him. He fed himself with every human who crosses paths with him, men, women, and children. Until it finally knew that eating humans can make him look just like them.

The creature adapted in this world, living like a normal human and walking amongst us, still not knowing how to go home.

“And that creature is me. Happy Halloween class, enjoy the night” Jaehyun finishes his story in front of his class. Watching every student laugh and shrug his ‘scary’ story for Halloween. They thought he was joking, and that was the fun part Jaehyun thought.

“See you on our next session Mr. Jung” a flirty young girl waved goodbye to him, smiling like she wanted to get on her knees and suck Jaehyun's cock right then and there.

“Enjoy Halloween” he winked back at her and proceed to fix his things and leave the classroom.

It was exactly a decade ago when those stupid teenagers brought him to this world. He didn’t have much of a choice but to live like a normal human to save himself. Feed from their flesh, kill every two weeks, and get on with life as if nothing gruesome happened inside his house.

Jaehyun targets girls, women in their early twenties or older. He stopped eating children only because the effect on him does not stay for long. Whereas, eating older people can last two weeks max. Luring girls was never hard for Jaehyun because he’s naturally handsome, but without human flesh, he returns to the disgusting creature he used to be.

Tinder is his go-to restaurant. A little swipe right over here, a swipe right over there, and voila! He now has a tasty dinner and for Halloween night, perfect to celebrate his existence here in this world.

As part of his adaptation in this world, he learned how to cook human meals for his victims. Feeding them good food before he eats them. In the middle of cooking in his big kitchen, his doorbell rang assuming that it’s his food that just arrived. He opened his door with a smile, welcoming the young lady inside his beautiful house, smelling her for some time during the hug. Delicious, he thought.

“Wow. Your house is big” the clueless girl exclaims. It’s always the same, every girl who steps inside his house is always amazed at how beautiful 127 House is. It’s white interior always captures the ladies’ hearts and leave them in awe.

“I hope you’re hungry. I made dinner for us” he gave the girl a flirty smile, flashing those cute dimples of his that always make the girls smile.

During dinner, Jaehyun can’t rush his meal and get on with the kill already. He is patient and takes time to know what he’s about to eat. He asks a lot of questions to gain the girl’s trust and fool her that Jaehyun is actually into her. “Do you do drugs?” the most important question for the night. Jaehyun hates eating humans who do drugs because it has a side effect on him as if his body can’t handle the drugs itself that it makes him weak on the spot. So much for being a creature from hell.

“No, I don’t do drugs. Do you?” the girl answered with wide eyes.

“No no. I’m clean” he smiled and put his hand on the girl’s thigh. Slowly caressing it until Jaehyun reaches her damped panties. “Can you open your legs for me?” Jaehyun’s irresistible request made the girl open her legs a little wider under the table. Rolling her head side to side as she feels Jaehyun’s cold fingers brushing on her clothed clit.

It’s time, Jaehyun thought. Dinner is served.

He pushed the plates away, glasses clinking, utensils started to fall from the table. Jaehyun carried her and put her on the dinner table, kissing her wildly to put the girl in the mood and make her horny. It always works. While he’s busy kissing her, his hands slowly remove her panties and spread her legs a little rough and push her on the dinner table.

“We really doing this here?” the girl asks.

“This is the perfect place to eat you”

The girl smiles and felt excited because a handsome man like Jaehyun is about to eat her pussy. Little did she know, that Jaehyun will quite do it literally. He planted kisses on her inner thighs, making the girl moan and tickle in the meantime. Jaehyun runs a finger on her slit and makes her legs shiver, licking his finger as if he’s having a taste of his dinner.

“Eat me already” she protests. Jaehyun chuckled low and puts two fingers inside her before he makes a move.

Jaehyun’s first lick from her pussy makes his head turn and breathe heavily for the girl he’s about to eat tonight tastes delicious. He licks and licks the girl, not listening to her moaning, not minding if she’s calling his name. The way he licked the girl was like he was having ice cream on a hot summer, sucking her arousal and putting pressure on her clit. Unaware of what’s happening to the girl, he didn’t care if she already came and overstimulated. Jaehyun continued licking his dinner even though the girl is pushing him already, but still having the time of her life.

She then felt Jaehyun bite clit and made her shout a little too loud that her voice echoed around 127 House. She propped her shoulder and saw Jaehyun’s eyes turned plain black. He smiled at her making the girl shout in horror and shout for her life but Jaehyun’s tongue is making her cum again for the second time tonight, harder than the first one she had.

And that’s Jaehyun’s cue to eat her. Bit her off. Letting her blood pool around his dinner table. He ate her flesh by flesh, sipping every drop of her blood, chewing all her intestines, licker the flavor off her skin like an animal. He can feel himself glow as he continues to eat her.

Pouring himself a glass of his favorite wine, he looks at his reflection through the goblet and admires his handsomeness. Skin clearer as ever, eyes without dark circles, firm ass. He smiled to himself as he feels much more alive and young now. Jaehyun went back to the dead body on his table, kissing the girl on the cheek and thanking her for making him handsome.  

FULL FIC HERE

[andypantsx3]

war paint | 5 | hot water

pairing: Bakugou Katsuki / Reader

length: 27,765 words / 10 chapters

summary: Desperate times force you to disguise yourself and join the kingsguard. When a suspicious string of crimes strike the palace, however, Captain Katsuki Bakugou starts paying extra close attention. (spin off of in cinders)

tags: mulan AU, secret identity, romance, reader-insert

warnings: aged up characters, some violence, eventual smut

You laid low over the next few weeks, avoiding Captain Bakugou to the best of your ability.

You didn’t make eye contact during your drills, shifting behind Kaminari and Sero’s shoulders when you could. You kept to your bunkroom when you weren’t on duty, and ate quickly in the mess halls, leaving as soon as you were finished lest he come dine with his battalion. You left the palace grounds only to post your wages to your family, and hurried back quickly in case Bakugou came looking and found you gone.

You also steered clear of Nishimura and his idiot friend Hasumi, taking alternate routes when you saw them on the training grounds and saying nothing about the animals and bugs you continued to find in your sheets.

Your only relief was your continued patrols, especially when you were assigned to Sero or Kaminari. Kaminari in particular was good at getting you out of your funk, tripping over himself to make you laugh and forcing you to socialize with all his palace favorites like Hagakure the laundress or on one notable occasion, Ochako Uraraka, companion to the princess-to-be and wife of the prince’s trusted valet, Izuku Midoriya.

His favorite stop, however, continued to be Mina’s workrooms and you found yourself getting quite comfortable with her, relaxing into her bright and cheery presence. She kept you well entertained with easy humor and palace gossip.

“I heard Captain Bakugou told the prince he’ll have the thief in chains before the wedding,” Mina said one evening as you and Kaminari finished up your rounds. “But it’s hard to know where he’ll strike next. There’s no discernable pattern in the rooms he targets or the things he seems to take.”

“Wow, never thought anyone would be able to stump that guy,” Kaminari said, kicking his feet up on Mina's worktable. Mina growled, shoving his muddy boots off the bright fabrics. Kaminari overbalanced and only just managed to stop himself from face planting, grabbing her chair tightly.

He shot Mina a dirty look but continued. “Bakugou’s basically like a bloodhound. I thought for sure he would have sniffed the thief out by now.”

Mina sighed. “I know! And it’s giving the servants ideas now, too. One of them stole Lady Yaoyorozu’s best gown right out of the laundry rooms last Sunday. The housekeeper’s had a right time of it trying to track down the culprit.”

You thought back to your own patrol on Sunday, but it hadn’t taken you anywhere down near the laundry rooms. Nishimura and Hasumi’d been on that route and you wondered if the theft had occurred right under their noses, the pair of fucking idiots.

“If I were the thief,” Kaminari said, “I would steal an entire tray of those little cinnamon buns cook Rikido makes.”

You laughed. You had yet to try one, but from the way the other soldiers waxed poetic about them, you didn’t doubt they were worth stealing.

“Ooh, I would pilfer those sweet cakes he does,” Mina said longingly. She looked as though she was thinking wistfully of a long lost lover.

You thought to yourself. If you were any kind of thief, you’d steal money, most likely, to send back to your family. Or maybe something of the captain’s to burn. You wondered if he cared enough for anything that you could get him to beg you for it back. You quite liked the image of him on his knees before you...

A chuckle from Kaminari brought you out of your fantasy.

“Maybe we should take up a life of crime,” he said.

Mina eyed him. “Think of how fast Bakugou would figure you out and say that again. He’s the smartest person in this entire castle.”

Kaminari winced. “On second thought, protecting and serving is my passion. I’ve never so much as looked at a stolen pastry. If someone approached me with one I’d report them straight to the captain.”

You’d heard from Mina exactly how the prince’s future bride had bribed her way into the mid winter ball, so you weren’t buying it.

“In other news,” Mina said, “The new servants' baths are finished. You lot might get to try them! I heard they’re only waiting on an inspection from the steward to open. Hagakure said she already snuck in for a dip in the ladies’ baths and just about melted.”

Your interest piqued. You hadn’t had more than a rushed scrub down in weeks, and if the baths weren’t open yet, your chances of being disturbed were few.

“Where are they?” you asked, trying not to look as interested as you felt.

Mina described their location and dropped the tantalizing fact that they’d been built over a natural hot spring just south of the castle. Mentally, you could feel yourself rubbing your hands together with glee. Maybe tonight you could soak away all the stress from the past few weeks.

Kaminari yawned in disinterest. “No wonder you’ve got such a girly face, L/N. You’re basically as bad as Mina.”

You scoffed. “There is nothing wrong with being clean.”

He raised a golden eyebrow. “You even sound like Mina.”

Mina patted your arm sympathetically. “Denki was born to repel women, L/N, don’t hold it against him. A woman likes a well groomed man. Keep it up and you’ll have your share of ladies hanging off you when you grow up.”

You stifled a laugh. You certainly hoped not.

Kaminari, however, looked absolutely incensed and he bit out a retort at Mina, storming out of her office and bodily dragging you with him. You suppressed a smile and followed him through the rest of your rounds, trying to look appropriately chastened when he told you off for not defending him.

You felt lighter than you had in ages, though, and you looked forward to an evening spent in the baths.

Late that evening, hours after everyone went to bed, you crept out of the barracks and followed a worn path to the south of the castle. The baths proved tricky to find in the dark, but soon enough you stumbled upon the entrance. In case Hagakure was around for another illicit dip, you stuck to the men’s side, not wanting to explain to the laundress why her friend the soldier suddenly had sprouted a pair of breasts.

You lit a match and followed its light into the steamy heat of a dark room. You pressed it to a set of sconces set into the wall which, when lit, revealed an open pool sunk into the floor of the room. The light wasn’t enough to see the bottom of the spring by, but you could see steam curling off the surface of the water and you shivered in delight.

You quickly undressed, leaving your clothes and your breast bindings in a neat pile by the side of the pool, and climbed into the dark water. The heat instantly loosened your shoulders, and you could feel what must have been months of tight knots unraveling within your muscles.

You let out a sigh and sank in up to the top of your head, letting the water sluice over your shoulders and hair. You grabbed for your soap and washed down thoroughly, luxuriating in a feeling of total cleanliness that you hadn’t felt in months.

Then you let yourself float, feeling near ecstasy in every single nerve where the warm water touched your skin. The gentle lap of the water against the side of the pool and the steam curling up around your face lulled you into a stupor.

Until the scrape of a boot at the entrance reached your ears. Cussing, you ducked back down in the water, swimming over to press your chest up against the side of the pool, your heart beating frantically like a frightened rabbit.

Your stomach dropped when light caught on a lock of unruly blonde hair, and Captain Bakugou slipped into view.

“Interesting place for me to find a soldier who’s supposed to be in their bunk,” he said, smirking. His eyes were bright in the torch light.

You wanted to rush out of the baths and leap into your clothes, but you could only hold still in fear as he stepped closer. He looked like he’d come from his own bed, only wearing a loose linen shirt over a pair of soft breeches, his usual uniform conspicuously absent. You tried to ignore the peek of a well defined pectoral through the low collar of his nightshirt.

“Captain,” you said quickly, “I, um...I couldn’t sleep.”

He moved to the edge of the pool, staring down at you. “And you think that means you can just defy my orders, pretty boy?”

You flushed. “No, sir. I’m sorry, sir.”

He looked you over, scarlet eyes running over your wet hair and shoulders. “You look awfully comfortable in there. Not gonna get out?”

Your heart shot into your throat. You couldn’t get out, not in front of him. Not if you didn’t want this whole charade to be ruined right here, right now. You didn’t know if Bakugou would knife a woman, but you didn’t want to take your chances and find out.

“I’m, um, embarrassed to, Captain,” you said by way of explanation. You stared at his boots, not daring to look up into his handsome face.

“Well aren’t you delicate, princess,” he quipped. His boots shifted and all of a sudden his face was in front of yours. You startled, shooting back from the rim of the pool, water sloshing loudly around you. You covered your chest protectively -- you didn’t know how well he could see in the low light of the torches but you didn’t want to test it.

A gleam of interest came into his eye and his gaze picked over you again. He looked disconcertingly curious, his head cocked to the side, like a wolf considering which part of the prey to tear into first.

To your horror, his hand moved to his shirt. Before you knew what he was doing, Bakugou grinned and pulled his nightshirt over his head. You had a glimpse of strong arms and a defined chest with a mouth watering set of abs before you panicked and whipped around, staring hard at the opposite wall.

“What are you doing?” you asked, your voice coming out high and squeaky.

“The fuck you think I’m doing, shrimp?” he asked. You heard the mortifying sound of his belt being undone and the scuff of his boots as he stepped out of them. “I’m testing something.”

“C-captain,” you said. “You’re not coming in here.”

You heard a low chuckle. “Don’t wanna share, princess?”

“Th-that’s not it!” you gasped, spine locking up as you heard his pants hit the ground. There was a slosh and water rushed over your back in a small wave. “Captain, this isn’t right.”

His rough voice was coming too near. “It’s a communal bath. We’re communally bathing. You some kind of pervert or something?”

You certainly felt like one if the way your eyes had tried to stay stuck to his chest was any indication. “And if I am?” you asked.

There was another low chuckle, this time right by your ear. “Awful shy for a pervert.”

You stood still, hardly daring to breathe. Your thoughts raced wildly from one topic to the next. What did he think he was doing? How were you going to get out of here without him figuring you out? If you pushed him, could you make it out of the baths before he caught you? If he caught you, what would he do?

A broad, hard chest pressed right against your back and your brain froze completely. You stopped breathing.

What was this? This was beyond teasing. What was the captain trying to accomplish?

“Still embarrassed?” he rumbled in your ear. A shiver went through you and your arms tightened around your chest, praying he couldn't see anything over your shoulder.

“This is the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me,” you blurted. You tried to will your mind to disconnect from the nerve endings in your back. He was so, so warm.

He snorted, and there was a moment of hesitation before he sloshed away from you again. You sighed in relief as the heat of his body left your back. “Not counting you getting your ass kicked in the mess hall.”

Irritation flashed through and you would have rounded on him if you could have turned around. “I wasn’t getting my ass kicked.”

There was a splashing sound from behind you. “Oh, were you only pretending to be losing spectacularly?”

You clenched a fist under the water. “Look, why are you here?”

There was a beat of silence.

“You ain’t the only one who can’t sleep,” Bakugou admitted roughly, surprising you. You chanced a look at him over your shoulder, only to whip back around, shame-faced. Yep, his abs were still there.

“W-why can’t you sleep?” you asked for something to say, voice a little shaky. You cleared your throat.

“Why can’t you?” he asked.

You frowned. “I asked you first.”

He let out a low chuckle. “You’re such a pain in the ass.”

You could feel your cheeks heat, and you tamped down on an indignant so are you. A soldier didn’t talk to their commander that way, nor a peasant to a marquis.

“I’ll tell you if you tell me, princess,” Bakugou said. His voice sounded smug, like he knew what retort you were clamping down on.

You thought for a moment on what you could tell him. You couldn’t exactly admit to waking in the middle of the night to bathe without having your gender revealed. You could be vague, though, and still tell the truth.

“My family,” you said. “There were some things that, uh, led me to the kingsguard, and I was thinking about that.”

Bakugou seemed to accept that. “I was thinking about how I'll kill that thief nice and slow when I get my hands on him.”

You shivered despite the warm air of the bath house. The thought was unsurprising, but Bakugou being kept awake by it was. “You’re more bothered about this than I would have guessed.”

A loud, gusty sigh echoed from the other end of the spring. “They’re fucking with my territory. And they’re bothering the shit out of Shouto and his dumbfuck valet.”

“The prince?” you asked, surprised.

“He’s a...friend,” Bakugou admitted. You were somewhat shocked by the admission that Bakugou had anything like friends. You wondered what the prince was like, to be so unbothered by Bakugou’s rough manner. Or maybe Bakugou didn’t try his usual tack with a member of the royal family.

“I’ll kill anyone who fucks with him,” Bakugou growled quietly, “Or that green-headed little snot rag.”

You guessed he meant Midoriya, the valet. He sounded oddly protective for someone he called a name like snot rag. You wondered wildly if, despite the disturbing terms in which he spoke of them, he considered the prince and his valet something like family. It would explain why he was so bothered by the thief when he was normally so unflappable.

“I hope you find them,” you said, the sincerity in your voice surprising even you.

“Oh, I will,” he promised darkly. You shivered again.

A loud splashing from his end of the spring distracted you and you looked back over your shoulder, only get an eyeful of a very chiseled butt leaving the pool. You yelped, covering your eyes.

“What are you doing?” you gasped.

Another low chuckle reached your ears, along with the rustle of fabric. “Leaving. Didn’t you want that, princess?”

You took a breath. “Well--yes.”

There was more rustling. “I’ve had my fun with you,” he said, and you heard the scuff of his boots as he pulled them on again. “Don’t let me catch you out of your bunk again or I’m fucking discharging you.”

You nodded, heart beating wildly. Had you really gotten away with this? “Yes, sir,” you answered dutifully.

Bakugou let out another derisive snort. “Get to bed,” he said imperiously, and then he was gone.

You turned to stare after him, listening to the tread of his boots grow further away. Finally, as the sounded faded, your knees gave out and you sank back under the water, feeling horribly relieved, and yet more confused than you had ever been before.

You'd escaped, but...what the hell had just happened?

[albino-whumpee]

The Master´s party

A little teaser for you. 

A grin quirked the man´s lips up when he held his chin in a bruising grip. Sann let out a pathetic yelp as the man pulled his face closer to his. 

“You´re an awful liar”

(This one´s long, just heads up for that and just so you know what Albus is taking about at the end, read Of secrets and memories )

This is a series, here´s the Masterlist

Taglist:  @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @giggly-evil-puppy @cowboysrappin @haro-whumps @burtlederp @neuro-whump @comfortforthepain @whumps-the-word @whole-and-apart-and-between @broken-horn @ashintheairlikesnow @rosesareviolentlyread @starnight-whump @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @as-a-matter-of-whump  @whumpasaurus101 @grizzlie70 @twistedcaretaker

TW// Dehumanization, slavery, all the box boy jazz, past abuse, shock collars, defiant whumpee, torture, past abuse, conditioning, anxiety, desrealization, humilliation and dissoci@tion. 

The invitation came in a golden envelope.

Albus silently waited for Zarai to read it. He didn´t expect her face to turn from taciturn to horror in the split of a second.

“Absolutely not” she shouted, taking her phone and furiously typing a number as she walked to the studio. Albus glanced at Momo who meowed to be fed.

He was petting the cat while it ate, when he saw Zarai steaming from rage and straightened up in instinct, bracing for a hit that never came.

Zarai let out a loud groan before putting her phone back on the table with a slam that made Albus jump. Slowly his muscles relaxed as he watched the woman rub her temples. He waited a second, just to be sure.

“I can’t believe it. They’re nuts!” She shot her hands up suddenly “Uniform etiquette? That’s- I don’t even know where to start on how wrong that is!” She continued before exhaling a loud, long sigh.

Albus extended her coffee and gulped when he saw her drink it in one go. “I-Is there something wrong with mistress Heleba’s party, ma’am?” He ventured, catching her attention and glad it didn´t come off as misbehaving. She had simply let her chin rest on her hand as she stared at the envelope.

“They want pets to attend the party with uniforms”

Albus frowned. Wasn´t that normal? 

“Would ma´am prefer me to stay then?” he tried, picking up the cup to clean it. He knew she wasn´t exactly a fan of pets in the first place, but her discomfort was aimed more at their owners, so a party with too many of them around? He could smell her complaints from miles.

Albus was surprised to hear her sigh instead. 

“No, I need you there. I wanted you to meet other potential clients and the agencies we will form partnership bonds with in the future. Especially Dune´s executives, but…” she tapped the envelope with bottled anger. His eyes drifted down to the letter.

“Pets are required to use shock collars as uniform etiquette and security measures to our dear guests”

The man at the party´s reception told Zarai as Albus lifted his chin. The man´s partner putting the leather white collar on Zarai´s hand, as the other checked the electrodes against his neck.

Ah, what a familiar sensation, he thought to himself.

“Is it really necessary? He´s not dangerous…” She asked putting the leather collar on her purse with a deep frown on her face.

“Orders from above ma’am” the security guard limited himself to answer.

Zarai whipped her head back at the boy when she heard the buckles click. His hands twitched but he clasped them tightly over his lap, directing a small smile at his owner.

“It´s fine ma´am. Is just a security measure” he said, but a lump formed on his throat when he saw the remote. Squeezing his wrists tight, he held back the impulse to take the collar off himself.

“This button allows you control the intensity and this one is to make it shoot the electricity. Like this” It was already on the lowest voltage so when the man pressed the button, the collar’s box little LED lights turned red for a second as a short wheeze was forced out of Albus.

You forced me to do this 778900. You keep trying to run off somewhere… Don’t be so impatient. Someone will buy you, eventually. This is for your own good.

Zarai yanked the remote from the man “Enough!” He stared at her in confusion as Albus caught his breath. “There was no need for a demonstration” she shot a glare at the man who offered an apologetic smile before she walked away, dragging the boy with her by the arm. “C’mon, Claude will be waiting inside” she whispered, not expecting to not hear a reply. She stopped a few steps away, noticing Albus trembling figure. She looked around the sea of people and dragged both to a small spot besides the pet’s bathroom.

“Can…can you lift your neck Albus?” The boy complied without fighting. Almost robotically. He blinked surprised, however, when he felt her fingers searching for something on his neck. “There” she said with a triumphant click. “They never said anything about it being on” she said, putting the remote into his own hands “I don´t have a use for this. Keep it hidden for me, would you?” she smiled.

Albus eyes softened as he clenched his hand on the remote. “Thank you ma’am”.

Zarai recomposed after giving him a short squeeze on the shoulder “Let´s go. I don´t want to be here more than necessary. Oh, Claude!” she said, calling the doctor talking with some businesswoman and waving at him as Albus hid the remote on his coat´s pocket.

—-

“Mister Serra! I-I didn´t know” some of the guests told him upon seeing the collar on his neck. He was glad none of the people he considered close was there to see him sport the tag he had tried so very hard to keep hidden.

“I apologize for the confusion” he would say in a bow.

“A pet that can read and work, quite unheard of” a man with a funny mustache said reflexively. Albus recognized him from the archives Zarai had made him memorize about the party´s guests. The vice-president of the adjacent company of the many, Rupert Glass owned. “Pretty interesting tactic from Miss Montenegro to keep your status hidden. Never understood her very well… I might try buy one like you. Normal pets are mostly just for show and I want one that can be useful” he said brushing Albus from head to toe. The boy knew better than to keep his eyes at the same level and shyly let down his gaze.

He wished they could go back home soon.

Even if Zarai treated him well, for most of the attendants he was at the same level of importance as the fine glass on their hands.

A luxury they could afford to break.

They only didn´t because it wasn´t theirs. He, wasn´t theirs. It would be rude if they injured or broke someone else´s property. But they didn´t shy from dragging around by a leash their half-naked, bruised pets. 

Some of their eyes nailed on him with anger, but quickly lifted up at their owners pull on their necks. 

Albus could still feel the glares the other pets shot at him and tilted his head only to catch a glimpse of light brown hair. Sann was wearing a tuxedo with a white rose on his chest. But as soon as he spotted him, Sann disappeared into the sea of people taking Albus´ breath with him. “I…It has been a pleasure to meet you Mister Darcy, but I must attend some…matters. Miss Zarai gives you her greeting and wishes you good health” he said, offering his hand to stretch. The older man only gave it a look before wrinkling his nose.

“I don´t handshake pets” he said. Albus backed his hand slowly.

“Excuse me. Thank you for your time, sir” he bowed as he had learnt back on the facility before he dismissed him with a flick of his hand.

He quickly walked away to scan the crowd, not finding the freckled boy among them. He tried searching by the special drink fountain for pets in the back, next to the bathrooms. It only served water and tasteless crackers. A clear contrast with the tables overflowing with delicious looking pastries and varied choices of drinks for their masters. But he wasn´t there or at tables, laying his head on Robert´s knees either.

The man sat with another man, carding his fingers through a shivering girl´s hair sitting by his knees with a charming smile on. Albus backed away slowly when the girl convulsed forward and the man next to Robert laughed along him.

He thought maybe he had imagined him, when he felt a tug on his neck.

“Hey, this one´s collar´s turned off” a man with a security uniform told his partner. The man tightened his grip around Albus´ wrist

“What? Did it turn it off?” the man harshly made Albus whip his head to a side. A whimper escaped his lungs. “Ugh, delicate pet alert” He slapped him repeatedly “Did you turn off your collar? Thought you could get away with it? Do you want us to tell your owner what you did? Hm?”

“N-No, no sir” Albus heaved as both men laughed like jackals “Please, let me explain-Ah!” The man holding him twisted his arms to his back.

“Stay, boy, stay. Don´t make us hurt you more than necessary” He yanked his head up so his partner had free way to the collar. He heard it click on again “What a good boy” he cooed, wrapping a zip tie around his wrists “We can´t let this slip, though. We got to tell your owner” he said, holding his head down by the neck and forcing him to walk.

The man roughly shoved him to his knees besides the guard station, a few steps away from the entrance. His breathing got shallow as his eyes darted through the crowd trying to find the familiar black long hair and the blue suit of her partner.

He saw the man talking to the microphone to announce him as if he was a lost child on a supermarket. No. It was more similar to the announcement of a lost wallet.

People stared at him with indignation. Pets stared with apologetic looks before they clung to their master´s arms.

He pulled his knees closer to his chest. 

It was like he was back at the facility. Being disciplined in front of other trainees because his handlers were getting bored of him. Getting pushed to the front at the smallest inconvenience to make an example out of him to encourage the others to follow every order their handlers gave them through his own tearing screams.

He felt hands on his shoulders and jerked back so hard he banged his head against the wall.

“It´s me Albus, I´m sorry for scaring you” Zarai said, helping him up as a few spots invaded his sight “Didn´t expect this to happen…I´m sorry” she whispered as he felt the release of the zip tie on his wrists. He rubbed his bruising wrists, which infuriated the woman. “What´s the meaning of this?” She yelled at the guards.

One of them sighed “Ma´am, this is just standard procedure. It shouldn´t leave marks. Maybe albinos bruise too easily”

Albus heard those words and his brain turned off.  

Everything was below a thick curtain of fog, the sounds were slurred and his limbs moved involuntarily. It was like living a dream. Was he actually awake? He didn´t know.

He felt his legs walk, his mouth speak and his hand write as Zarai talked. But he wasn´t sure if it was real. He wasn´t sure if the people around him were really there.

Their voices sounded as if they were underwater. Unclear and foggy. A fog, thick as a veil covered the world around him as he walked. After a while, he suddenly found himself leaning against a wall. Just hearing the noise of conversations on the distance, when he allowed himself to wrap his arms around his knees on the floor of a balcony.

He tried to pull air into his suddenly too tight chest.

He hated it.

He hated not knowing why exactly those words put him off like that. Having the feeling he hated to hear it in a certain specific voice. He hated the laughter inside his head that filled his senses. He buried his head in his arms.

“Fuck off” he hissed, not expecting to feel a hand on his back.

He jumped up when he saw Sann on his tuxedo, letting out a lame squeak that made the other grin.

The boy stood up “Sorry…” Sann signed with a frown, his hands twitching in front of his chest as if wanting to say something else but not knowing how, he only stared at him.

Albus waited, just in case, before he looked away and set his eyes on the city “Don´t be, you just surprised me” He opened his mouth and then closed it with a sigh “I´m sorry… Just...give me a second” he said, biting his lip when Sann held his hand.

He brushed his thumbs against his pale hand as if saying “It´s ok, just breathe”

Albus made his lips a fine line before letting it out.

“I might always say hello with food, but you always try to hold my hand” he said in a half giggle, squeezing on Sann´s hand slightly tighter. A smile came to his face and somehow, couldn´t shake it away. 

“…Can we stay like this for a bit?” he asked, feeling the fog on his head dissipate slowly.

“Yes” Sann signed before curling his fingers around Albus´ hand.

Albus looked above at the night sky feeling the warmth of the boy´s hand leak into his before he took a deep breath. Despite the sound of the party inside where most likely Zarai was searching for him, it melted with the usual sounds of the city and the rumble of the sea in the distance. He let out his breath slowly, calm settling on his chest.

He wondered since when he had started to feel that way around the other boy. The other pet looked at the cars below with a little smile hanging on his lips. His hair was mussed up, pulled back in a way that framed his face and made his features pop. The sleek attire with the rose delicately set on his chest, was a look that couldn´t be ruined even by the shock collar on his neck intermittently lighting up.

“You look stunning” the words rolled out of his mouth and didn´t notice he had said it out loud until Sann turned to him with wide eyes. He pulled his free hand to his chin to sign a thank you with an even wider smile.

“You. Too” Sann signed as the albino felt his cheeks burn and tried to hide it by fixing his glasses. He squinted when he noticed something about his hand.

“What´s this?” he asked, fishing Sann´s hand and inspecting the new pink circles around his knuckles. Cigarette burns, he identified bitterly. “What happened? A punishment?” His tone urgent as he lifted his eyes and found Sann´s smile had ran away from his face.

He shook his head.

“No? Then why…” Albus asked as Sann pulled his hand away to lean on the balcony, watching the traffic below with a lost gaze and hiding the injured hand. Albus joined him a second later “…just because?”  Sann nodded with a shrug that pulled a string on his heart. Albus wondered if that was normal treatment for Sann and felt a sting of guilt.

It was a possibility to end up with an owner like that, the handlers had told them as much enough times, but Sann deserved someone better as owner. He deserved to be able to smile without fear of not looking pretty and eager enough to avoid being hurt.

The thoughts raced through his head before being interrupted when Sann looked up at the fireworks popping in the distance, putting that beautiful smile on his face yet again. He turned to him and finding his worried frown, his gray eyes softened.

He moved his hands up to sign, but then had second thoughts and simply smiled with slightly worried eyebrows.

“I´ll be fine” Albus could almost hear him say as he pointed his head at the fireworks.

As Albus watched the show of colors a dread began to grown in his heart. He was to act as a person, but that didn´t change he was a Pet. Just like Sann and the many others inside. They looked at him with envy and resentment, but Sann...Sann didn´t. Despite the scars on his neck and the rest of his body; the sadness behind his eyes, he still would let him hold his hand and smile at fireworks. The pleasant memories of his time with Zarai began to pop into his mind like the blue and yellow and red lights shining in the night sky.

How could he even change that for him if he couldn´t be free from it himself?

Albus felt Sann tap on his shoulder and he turned, only to find him smiling at him holding the rose of his chest and gently put it on him. He blinked perplexed at the rose, now on his chest, before his eyes found him shrugging playfully.

“Gift. For you” Sann signed as he watched Albus take out his small notebook and pen and extend it for him. It took him a second, but Sann pulled it up so Albus could read it.

“My Master can be very explosive, but he´s a man of his word. He promised me he would give me a bouquet of roses if I could stand the burns…“ Albus eyes widened in horror before Sann smiled again and tapped on the note, urging him to continue “I only got one flower, but do you like it?”

Albus was speechless for a long moment that made Sann tense up and shrink into his shoulders. Albus hand gently guided him to look at him again.

“I love it” he said as Sann´s face lit up “But, the best gift you can give me is your smile” at that, Sann´s cheeks flared up. “S-So, please, don´t do something like that for me ever again. Please...” Sann was stunned by his words and only could looked down as Albus let down his hand and Sann noticed the wild blush expanding on the albino´s cheeks, right before he felt a shock on his neck.

Sann wheezed, bent over the balcony, before he felt yet another shock. As he gasped for air, Sann worried if his Master was hidden in the shadows. The terror of it being true made him step forward, a primal fear screaming at him to rush to his side. 

“Wait!” Albus caught his wrist before he could run off. Sann stared at him for a second, heart drumming loudly in fear, agitated, so much more than the composure the albino put as front to his worry as he looked up at him could calm him. Ruby eyes full of determination nailed on him through long, white eyelashes. “Before you go, can I give you a kiss?”

Sann was thrown off the loop and glared back inside, darting his eyes through the crowd in fear of another shock, but when he felt Albus hand on his, his heart eased.

He asked.

He asked a toy like him who couldn´t say no.

Sann returned the squeeze and took one step closer. His hands were small and thin, a bit rough around the edges but so soft. Sann looked at his lips and waited for them to seal with his, but to his surprise, Albus pulled his hand and pressed his lips into his knuckles. 

It was a light kiss. Soft and soothing, Sann´s heart melted when he didn´t step closer to kiss him somewhere else and instead only saw Albus pull away.

“See you later” 

Sann stared at him for a moment, longing for more, but as Albus let go whispering, “Take care” he knew he couldn´t be greedy. He had to hang on to it until there was a chance they could meet again.

His Master glared at him when he came running to kneel besides him and then tugged on his collar, lifting his chin up as he checked his chest pocket and found it empty.  He gripped on either side of his cheeks and pressed just enough on his throat with a severe look on his eyes that made Sann recoil before he clipped his leash to his collar and took him outside. 

Sann slowed down when they passed through the security line to return the shock collar, but when the man only tugged on it for him to keep walking, he knew the collar would stay on that night. 

When the man opened the trunk for him to crawl and sit on, he saw something grim shine on his eyes. 

“Where did your rose go?” the man asked, stroking Sann´s cheek. “Did he like it?” 

For the split of a second Sann stopped knowing how to breathe, but the next he was leaning into the man´s hand, shaking his head and then tilting it as if he didn´t understand the question. 

A grin quirked the man´s lips 

[winterbanner]

Mercy (Bruce Banner/OFC)

Summary: Bruce is upset after a mission goes awry. Can Catherine's words help him to see himself in the way that she does? Takes place six months after the first avengers film. 

Tags: Angst, Emotional Hurt/ Comfort

Word Count: 2687

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rated PG-13

Pairing: Bruce Banner x OFC (Catherine King, former SHIELD agent gone rogue, now a member of the Avengers.) Her name is only mentioned twice, so just ignore it of you’re looking for a self-insert) 

It wasn’t easy being an Avenger, but today felt especially taxing. The battle wasn’t necessarily harder than others, it was the civilians that made the experience all the more horrific. They were everywhere, scattered throughout the streets, sprinting in a panic to find cover, to save themselves from the cataclysmic destruction. We tried to direct them all to safety, and for the most part we were successful, but there were only seven of us and hundreds upon hundreds of them.

When it’s your job to save lives it becomes difficult to focus on the positives, to think about the ones you saved, to consider how many lives would have been lost if you were not present. It is impossible to celebrate a victory, when the dead bodies of innocent civilians, bloodied and lying under the rubble, products of a conflict in which you were involved, are imprinted in your mind. It haunts all of us, but perhaps no one more than Dr. Banner.

I saw it happen, a young couple, was attempting to run into a department store for cover. Hand in hand they attempted to dodge the flying debris, while avoiding the menacing robotic soldiers that flooded the streets. 

Hulk was there, doing his duty smashingly, taking cars, and large chunks of metal, and throwing them at our adversaries, leaving them as nothing more than a pile of wires. The decision had been made to keep Hulk off the field as much as possible, for Bruce’s sake mostly, but also in the hopes of lessening the inevitable damage. There were times, however, when his strength was needed. For those occasions we taught him to avoid civilians, and the effort was made. Oftentimes you could find him gently careening around a group of huddled innocents, stepping between them and whatever destructive chaos we found ourselves faced with. This time however, he made a mistake, and when Hulk makes a mistake, the consequences can be gruesome. 

He heaved a car, vaulting it over his head at a group of enemy soldiers, but in the midst of our enemies stood the young couple, and as the car came crashing down, they were crushed. The young woman was left barely alive, screaming for her partner, who could be found a few feet away, his head crushed under the fender. Her outcries of pain and grief echoed through the streets, and over the sounds of metal clanging and weapon blasting, piercing our ears, with guilt and shame.

It wasn’t Bruce’s fault. He had no control over what precautions the Hulk did or didn't take, but despite his genius, that concept was something he couldn’t seem to comprehend. Bruce can see what happens during the time he spends as the other guy, he can see the destruction and death, just as much as any of us can, the only difference is that he can’t choose to run away, to duck for cover, to defend rather than attack. He has no control.

It was getting late, our wounds had been tended to, and we were beginning to settle down for the night. For many of us that didn’t necessarily mean sleep, it meant going onto our prospective floors to process the day's events. I, however, wasn’t planning on heading up to my quarters just yet, I wanted to check in on Bruce. I knew for a fact he hadn’t eaten, and I could also guess the toll that the day’s events must’ve taken on his mental state.

As I stepped out of the sleek silver elevator, I could see Bruce out on his balcony, staring down at the destruction from hours before. It was cold outside, and he still hadn’t changed out of the ripped up clothes he scrounged up from the battlefield. His curls were still dirty and his hands were shaky as they clung to his opposing forearms, squeezing himself tightly. He had been crying, the evidence found in the redness of his eyes and the wetness of his cheeks. I grabbed a blanket that laid haphazardly on a nearby chair, and approached the terrace, food in hand.

“Hey,” I whispered, in an attempt not to startle him.

He jumped, before turning around to see who exactly the voice was coming from. When he saw that it was me, I saw the tension in his body release. “Hey Catherine,” he croaked. He was sitting on a patio sofa, staring out over the mangled concrete, flashing police lights and Stark Industry construction workers, that littered the streets of Manhattan.

I gently sat down next to him, before placing the steaming plate of pasta on the nearby coffee table. I took the blanket, and began to wrap it around his shoulders. He winced at my actions, afraid for me to touch him.

“It’s okay” I whispered, as I slowly placed a hand on his, in an attempt to show that I trusted him. I took the blanket and draped it over his broad shoulders before sitting back down again and turning my body towards his. It broke my heart to know that he was afraid to let me touch him, that he thought of himself to be that dangerous.

“Thank you.” he said, finally looking me in the eye.

I grabbed his hand and gave it a loving squeeze, a nonverbal you’re welcome.

He then turned his gaze back to the streets, his expression immediately hardening, holding within it a plethora of sorrowful emotion.

I looked over and saw that the plate of food had stopped steaming, growing colder from the chilly New York air.

“I brought you some pasta, Clint made it so it might taste like shit.” I joked gesturing the plate and fork towards him.

He smiled briefly at my comment. “You didn’t need to do that,'' he said. Before taking the serving of pasta. “You didn’t need to come all the way up here for that.”

Bruce always had a way of deflecting your kind gestures, of making himself feel like he didn’t deserve them. “You haven’t eaten in hours Bruce and even if you had, I still wanted to come up here and check on you anyway.”

He looked up at me, his brown eyes filled with gratitude. “Thank you, really thank you.” he said before twisting some pasta onto the fork and bringing it to his mouth.

“And surprisingly it doesn’t taste like shit.” He joked causing me to chuckle.

We both sat and watched the policeman directing traffic as he ate, all within a state of silence. From an outside perspective Bruce wasn’t much of a conversationalist, but when you took the time to get to know him, it wasn’t long before you realized that the man could talk your ear off. When he was passionate or excited about something, he could talk for hours, patiently explaining every particle, and every computation. Watching his face light up when I would ask a question, or when he realized that I was understanding, had become an occurrence I adored. Tonight, however, he didn’t utter a word. Probably in the fear that he may break down in front of me.

He finished up his meal quickly, he must’ve been starving, before placing his empty plate down on the table, and looking back to the street. It was honestly nice to see the city being picked up, to remind ourselves that the damage done can be fixed. There are certain types of destruction, however, that cannot me mended.

Two EMTs approached a pile of rubble. We witnessed their struggling to retrieve something, and to our horror they emerged with the body of a woman. They checked her vitals, and by the looks of dismay, it became apparent to us that she was dead. The emergency workers retrieved a body bag, and gently zipped up her carcass, thus sealing her fate. My heart ached as I thought of her family. That innocent woman could have been a wife, a parent, a child. Now remembered as a life cut short, lost to those they loved forevermore. I felt the pang of guilt press down on my chest, my mind overcome with the thought that that we could’ve somehow prevented the gruesome scene sprawled out before my eyes.

I looked over to Bruce, his eyes wide as he gazed upon the tragic scene that lay before us. He couldn’t take his eyes off of it, I swear he didn’t even blink. He felt as though he deserved to watch this scene, to wallow in the pain that he may have caused.The screams of that young woman probably still echoing in his mind. I reached over and put a hand on his back, before rubbing small circles.

“Bruce let’s go inside okay. We don’t have to watch this” I said softly, as I gently gripped his chin pulling his gaze away from the street below to look at me.

He nodded in agreement, more concerned for my well-being that his. We both stood up and walked back inside to his sitting area, my hand still resting softly on the curvature of his back, as we took our seats on his familiar sofa. I had spent many nights sitting in this same spot, whether that be drinking and laughing with him and Tony, or after a mission in a similar situation as this one, I felt at home here, with Bruce. There were even some mornings where I had accidentally fallen asleep on that very cushion, only to awaken and find myself perfectly tucked in, with the smell of maple pancakes wafting from the kitchen.

After watching what had just happened, Bruce was trying even harder to hold back his emotions. He sat there, his hands shaking as they clasped together, his head hung in shame staring at his feet, his eyes glistening with tears. I scooted closer to him, before wrapping an arm around his feeble frame, my thumb gently rubbing his shoulder. He leaned into my touch, his weight shifting so his body pressed into my side.  

“What happened today wasn’t your fault.” I whispered, rubbing my hand up and down his back, in an attempt to bring him back to reality, away from whatever thoughts plagued his mind.

He pulled away, recoiling at the sound of my words that were telling him the exact opposite of what he had been telling himself. “I-I saw it happen, If I had just taken control, if I had just…”, he looked down once more, placing his head in his hands in an act of frustration. He wasn’t angry at me, he was angry at the Hulk for not being more careful, and mostly he was angry at himself. Angry that he couldn’t save them from the giant he was forcibly given the responsibility to manage.

I will never know what it is like to be plagued with something like the Hulk. The risk of danger and violence forever living just under the skin, unable to be fully contained or controlled. I will never know exactly what Bruce suffers through, but in this situation I unfortunately had some expertise.

I sighed, causing Bruce to look up from his sorrowful stance, as I adjusted my sitting position in the effort to make myself more comfortable.

“Ten years ago, I got a call from Fury telling me I was needed in Chicago for a negotiation. Some prick wanted access to SHIELDS weapon blueprints, in exchange for what I was told was “highly classified cargo”. I was instructed to give the contact false intel, it was risky, but nothing I wasn’t used to. “

“I had guessed that this special cargo would have been some sort of weapon, or at the worst maybe a high profile hostage, but when I arrived on location it turned out to be so much worse. These masked bastards had children, I’m talking little kids, lined up execution style. They looked so scared…”

At this point my breaths had become more shaky, causing me to take a moment to gather my senses. Bruce had scooted himself closer in an attempt to comfort me.

“I was so fucking pissed at Fury for not telling me, I just- I wasn’t prepared ya know?”

Bruce nodded and rested his hand on mine as if to let me know that I had his full attention.

“I proceeded with the negotiation, and at first it seemed like it had gone off without a hitch. My partner sweeped the place, and I was told that every child was safe and accounted for. Things, however, went to shit when he insisted the calculations on the blueprints were off. He pointed his gun at me, and without hesitation I blasted him. What I didn't see was the little boy who had been standing behind him.”

My eyes were now filled with tears, and my emotions made it so it was harder to speak.

“I- I killed him. He must’ve been hiding, and they didn’t count him. He was so scared, but there was nothing I could do. I-”

Bruce’s arm had now been gently wrapped around my shoulder, pulling me against his side.

“He was perfectly innocent. So, I guess that makes me a killer.” I whispered.

“No,” Bruce softly uttered. “Catherine, no you’re not-”

I pulled away from his grasp. “I should’ve looked closer, I should’ve double checked I-I”

“Stop, that wasn't your fault.”

I paused for a moment to regain my senses, before turning to look Bruce in the eye.

“Bruce, I killed that little boy, me myself and I. I was in control of my decision making, I did that. So, if that poor boy’s death wasn’t my fault, then how is what happened out there today your’s?”

“Catherine it’s not the same.”

“Your damn right it’s not the same. If anything, I'm at more fault than you are. I, Catherine King, am a killer.”

He looked at me saddened by the words I said, “Don’t associate yourself with that, you’re not that, not you. I’m the monster.” 

I took his face in my hands, forcing him to look me directly in the eye. “Why can't you grant yourself the same mercy you’ve given me?” He looked down, at a loss for words. 

“Bruce Banner, you are no killer, you are no monster. I know what evil looks like, and you aren’t it. Everyday I go out there and find myself met with the absolute worst shit that the world can offer. So, when I get back, I go see you. I go up to the lab, or come find you here because Bruce, you remind me that there’s still good left. You make me feel safe. I couldn’t feel that way about you if you were a monster.”

At first he sat there in awe, at a loss for words. The last few years of Bruce’s life had been ones of fear, isolation, and self-deprecation. His kind nature and mild-mannered disposition, met with violence, scorn and pain. He didn’t deserve to have gone through all that he did, but he didn’t realize that. His experiences were those fit for the monster that he and the world had so convinced himself he was. So, at the sound of my words, he began to tear up, not because of sadness or fear, but out of gratitude. Ever since the accident no one one had ever told Bruce that they felt safe in his presence. That they didn’t see him as a potential threat, a ticking time bomb.

After a moment, I noticed the look on his face grow soft, as he pulled me into an embrace. His chin resting on my head, as his arms wrapped around me. His hold was gentle, but all encompassing. It was as if he was afraid he’d hurt me if he squeezed too tight, but everything within him was telling him to never let go. I tightly hugged him back, carding my fingers through his hair, as I guided his head to rest in the curvature of my neck, all in the hopes of making him feel the truth behind my words, to make him feel human.

“Thank you.” he whispered.

And in that moment, with the two of us intertwined in the others embrace, we felt safe.

[dinosaurtsukki]

OMG CONGRATULATIONS YOURE SO COOL WELL DONE🥰🥰❤️you deserve everything!!! can i please have prompt 124 with sugawara hehe bc istg that’s acc me when i’m into someone i will just stare like 👁👄👁and when they stare back i’m like 🦋🦋 (or if it’s a pretty girl and she smiles🥺🥺) AGSJSGS ANYWAY I LOVE YOU💓

NEEEMSSS ILY AND U DESERVE EVERYTHING TOO U VERY GORGEOUS HUMAN BEING!! ummm,, i also kind of based this on us as friends if we were in the same country and hung out a lot so i hope u like it <3 <3 (altho i’ll still be naming reader y/n and the friend f/n) 

Sugawara + 124

124. “I’m sure I can get some kind of sexual gratification from just staring at him if I try hard enough.”

“You’ve been staring at him for like, three whole minutes.”

“Is it obvious?”

“You’re dripping ice cream on the table.”

“Ah, shit!” you looked down and true enough there was a messy splotch of bright pink, melted bubblegum ice cream on the table that had fallen off from your spoon. 

“Don’t worry, Mr. Hot Ice Cream Man probably didn’t see it because if he looked back at you, you would practically jump in your seat,” your friend snickered at you. “Why don’t you just talk to him?”

“Because he’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever met,” you replied, eyes drifting up to watch the silver-haired man who worked at the ice cream parlor on afternoons from Thursdays to Saturdays. 

“One large scoop of cookie dough ice cream,” the beautiful man smiled as he handed a customer their order. You had figured out his name was Sugawara when you stopped staring at his face every time you ordered and actually read his name tag. After serving the ice cream, he took his scoop back, twirling it slightly with his long slender fingers, before scooping some strawberry ice cream. 

“I wish I was that ice cream scoop,” you sighed. 

“You can’t get into his pants if you just keep dragging me here every week,” your friend said. “Even though I do thank you for treating me to the ice cream, as you should.”

“Your weird ice cream,” you added, raising an eyebrow at the contents of their cup.

“Hey, mint-chocolate chip ice cream didn’t do anything to you,” f/n cupped their hands around their ice cream protectively. “Now stop changing the subject. Just go talk to Mr. Hot Ice Cream Man because I’m pretty sure he’s caught on to why we’re always here.”

“I’m sure I can get some kind of sexual gratification from just staring at him if I try hard enough,” you said stubbornly. 

“Fine, suit yourself,” your friend held their hands up in surrender and stood up from the table. “I’m going to get water.”

You were too busy going back to stare at Sugawara to realize that your friend was going to ask for water when you were basically the one who brought an extra water bottle for them wherever you went. And by then, it was too late because they were talking to Sugawara, clearly not ordering water, and pointing at where you sat. 

“No, no, no,” you muttered to yourself, feeling like a deer in the headlights when Sugawara looked back at you. To add to your horror, your friend waltzed away, blowing you a kiss before entering the bathroom, and Sugawara slid out from behind the counter and began walking towards you. 

And then, Mr. Hot Ice Cream Man sat in front of you at the table. Seeing him up close and fully regarding you, not just to ask you for your ice cream order, stole the breath from your lungs. 

“U-um, hi,” you squeaked.

“Hey yourself,” Sugawara smiled, folding his hands on the table. “So, your friend there told me about why you’ve actually been coming here quite often.”

“They’re crazy! I swear!” you protested. “I mean, who orders mint chocolate ice cream consecutively for weeks?”

“Well, you’ve got a point there,” Sugawara made a face at the empty ice cream cup that f/n ate from. “But, you do admit that you’ve been coming here ‘consecutively for weeks,’” he said, quoting you. You bit your lip, knowing that you were pretty much trapped, but at the same time, you didn’t quite imagine how smooth Sugawara would be at talking. It thrilled you and put some of that nervous edge away.

So, you leaned closer, propping your chin with both hands with a playful smile on your face. “And, what if I am?” you asked. Sugawara’s eyes widened a fraction at the sudden change in your tone but a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. 

“Well, don’t think I haven’t noticed you too,” Sugawara chuckled, the sound sending a shiver through your spine. “In case you want to do something other than eat ice cream, I get off at four.”

You felt blood rush to your face. Did Mr. Hot Ice Cream Man that you’ve been staring at for weeks just ask you out? You were ecstatic, but also not wanting him to win in this game of who could keep their cool, you maintained an even tone as much as possible.

“I’ll check my schedule,” you nodded.

“Great,” Sugawara smiled. And then, out of the blue, he licked his thumb and rubbed at something on the corner of your mouth. “You had a bit of bubblegum pink there,” he winked, before leaving the table and returning to his work.

“Fuck...” you felt yourself whisper, knowing very well that you lost this battle at keeping your cool. And that’s how your friend found you when they finally came back from the bathroom.

“So, judging from your face it went well,” they grinned broadly, looking like a cat that had just eaten a canary. 

“A word of warning would have been nice,” you grumbled. “Also, were you ever going to tell me that I still had ice cream on the side of my mouth before you got Sugawara to come over?”

“Huh? What ice cream?” your friend looked at you, puzzled. You blinked at her in surprise before your gaze flew to Sugawara who smiled innocently. 

This man was going to be the death of you. 

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