#aw yeah i love this journey song

[moosegbt]

its tueday!!

[jeanbie]

IF I LAY HERE (WOULD YOU LIE WITH ME?) ★ masterlist.

pairing: eren x reader

genre: best friends-to-lovers-au, actor au, fluff mostly | warnings: fem!reader | wc: 2.6k

note: hey. i still love u guys and i am still pining over aot. will never stop probably. anyway, this was an older fic i wrote but i'm handing it down to eren! title is taken/inspired from chasing cars by snow patrol (my fav song)

⏤ Eren has had enough - it's been four months since he's last seen you, and he's not going to let his fame status keep him from seeing you any longer. He just hopes that you feel the same way when you see him again.

Eren was taking a pretty big risk, he knew that.

It was risky taking any step out of his apartment at any moment; he’d think he was safe until he made it to the end of the road, earphones snug in his ears, and the flash of a camera behind the bushes in the corner of his eye blinds him back to his front door in a twisted shame. 

Granted, he’d expected it to be worse now that he'd booked a plane ticket and made a rather hasty, in-the-moment journey to the airport and on a plane with no layover. Usually when Eren takes a journey overseas, there’s at least one or two fans hiding in the corner of the suites waiting for him, or someone on the plane who’d recognise his face.

For this, he’d suck it up and take a photo. It was better to have good PR and be a little bit pissed off that he’d been discovered, than to have bad PR and to be known as the actor from Attack on Titan who didn’t give a damn about the people who essentially made him and his friends famous.

But Eren thought the risk was worth it this time. The plane touched down in a different country, and from there, it was an hour long train journey to a station he didn’t know anything about to meet a friend of yours he’d only seen in Instagram pictures.

You were at university now, a face he saw on a screen rather than a face he quite literally saw every day months before. It had been four months since Eren had seen his best friend, and fuck anybody who was going to make him wait a second longer before seeing you again.

You were his greatest risk, but it was worth it. You were worth it.

“Fuck, it’s insane to actually be meeting you right now.”

Frank is a good guy, ginger with circle glasses resting on the end of his roundish nose. He led Eren out of the train station, offering to pull his suitcase for him. “I mean, I’m a huge fan.” Followed by a sigh and a quiet, “Who isn’t…?”

Eren smiled at him, squinting in the sun as it hit his eyes in the direction of Frank’s face. “Thanks. I hear a lot about you, too.”

Frank grinned, whipping his head towards Eren. “All sexy and scandalous things, I hope. You know, none of us believed Y/N when she said she knew you. We thought the pictures were Photoshopped, you know how she is.” They both paused by the side of the road waiting to cross, “Shit, she’s gonna freak out when she sees you.”

That was three minutes ago, but Eren's still playing that sentence on a loop in his head. She's gonna freak out when she sees you.

He walks alongside Frank down one of the streets, past a redundant furniture store that quirks his brows. He’s missed it here, and how unbelievably, shockingly awful it all looks when you’re not looking at picturesque photos of it online.

“I thought you’d know that Y/N’s my best friend,” Eren says thoughtfully. He pauses as Frank does as a car zooms past when they’re about to cross. “I mean, people know. The photos got leaked, all of them.”

“Hey, give me a break,” Frank says dramatically. “I only really became a super fan three months ago. I'm more into Levi, you know how it goes. And yeah, I figured it out eventually. Finally, I understood why so many people at this uni wanted photographs with her and to be her best friend…”

Eren frowns. “Is it bad? She doesn’t tell me this stuff on the phone. I mean, they go crazy online when she posts pictures and we interact, but I didn’t…”

Frank shakes his head and grins at Eren as the words die out in his mouth.

“Nah, don’t panic. It’s not that bad. If anything, she might get a kick out of the fame. Trust, there’s always gonna be the girls who hate her because she’s friends with you and that’s like, what, threatening to their fantasy? But she loves you a lot, and a friendship like yours…it’s kinda like family, you know?”

Eren feels his stomach flip, butterflies going haywire. These butterflies are bitter and relentlessly fast, his heart racing that extra bit quicker. He likes the sound of family. He doesn’t like the way Frank implies it, because if Eren is ever going to consider you as family, it won’t be as his sister.

You’ve never been his sister, even when you became part of his family growing up on special occasions, or even just on a daily basis when you came to visit. There were times his family called you their own, but you were never his sister. It was different than that; you both knew it but never dared acknowledge it.

Frank makes small talk until they make it to the student accomodation you currently live at, and because Frank knows basically everybody, a student comes to the gate to let them both in. They’re nice and tall, wearing an Aston Villa shirt that Eren remembers looks a lot like your dad’s back in the day. Might be the same kind, might be a vintage.

He smiles at him, because maybe this guy knows Eren, but then the guy just turns back into the common room and doesn’t come out again. Frank doesn’t live here - he lives in a flat of his own around the corner, but Frank might as well be a resident here. He lets himself in towards the lift and shoots a text to one of your flatmates.

“Apparently she’s in the shower,” Frank says casually. He locks his phone, taps his foot as the lift rises, “Let’s hope she doesn’t stride out completely stark naked as you’re in there.”

He almost blushes, “Ha, yeah.”

He declines to mention the times you two have showered together, the time you went skinny dipping together when you were seventeen. Those were things that might end up getting misunderstood, and those are his memories he’d like to keep a secret. He says nothing, nothing but a thank you when he enters your flat with Frank and takes a different turn to the left whereas Frank goes right, towards the kitchen.

Your room is at the very end, your name on the door in stickers from a set you got from the market, and from inside, he hears the music in the bathroom. The door opens silently and closes with the same volume, and Eren manages to wheel his suitcase to the end of the bed and plonks himself down.

As expected from pixels on the screen, your room looks better in person - white walls and a bed set that’s white and covered with little peonies. Above your desk, Eren recognises all your photos together, new polaroids of you and the friends you’ve made at university who Eren always felt kind of threatened by. He smiles to himself, and rests his head against the wall your bed is attached to. From here, he can see the bathroom door in the mirror on the opposite wall, but he knows you’ll only see his feet when you come out.

Speaking of which; the song playing in the bathroom ends suddenly and the shower water has stopped running. Eren hears the toilet flush and his heart starts to race.

Four months of falling asleep on Facetime and texting when there was no time left in the day, and now, here he is, on your bed, waiting for you to step out and… And, then what?

Maybe you wouldn't even want him here. Maybe you were happier now that Eren was travelling the world with his other friends and film crew while you were still here, in a new city with new friends and a new life. Maybe the memory of Eren was burdensome to you. Worse - maybe he was something you felt you had to remember but didn’t really want to.

Eren's always been scared of the rejection he might receive from you. He might be a dream for fans across the world, but there’s a split second where Eren feels like he might not be good enough for you. He’s the world to other people. But you deserve the whole galaxy, and he’s afraid that’s something that he might not ever be able to give you, even with all the money and the fame.

The bathroom door opens and in two seconds, the light is shut off and he hears you sigh.

“Jesus, Frank, you gotta stop letting yourself in here without telling me,” your voice says. “Good thing I’m semi-decent. Usually I’m not.”

“No fun,” Eren teases, and silence follows. There’s a pause, and Eren cocks his head, his left cheek on his shoulder, waiting for you to click and appear in front of him.

Suddenly, he hears small but quick thuds across the carpet and Eren feels his chest tighten with a nostalgic feeling when you come into view with wide eyes, damp hair and nothing but a bra and those stupid black worn leggings you refuse to throw out.

The grin that reaches Eren's eyes now aches as he laughs at you, at the way you gape at his presence. It takes a moment, a moment of what feels like could be the rejection that Eren absolutely fears, but then you smile so wide that Eren feels it in his stomach.

“Holy shit!” you exclaim loudly, bringing a hand to your mouth as you hurry towards the bed. It dips beneath your knees and Eren rises up to a more comfortable position. “What the fuck!”

He laughs out loud, and when Eren wastes zero time in bringing you into his arms, hugging you tightly.

“Careful, my hair’s all wet,” you squeak.

“Don’t care.”

He really doesn’t. There’s probably going to be a damp spot on his clothes after, but that’s okay. You groan loudly with happiness as you hug him in return as tightly as he is hugging you, your weight on his lap and your arms around his neck.

Eren smiles so wide, sighing with content into your neck. Here, he smells the marshmallow body wash on your skin, the fragrance of your hair that kind of reminds him of Cabbage Patch babies.

“You smell good,” he mutters. You laugh quietly, squirming when his nose sniffs across your neck like one would kiss. “I don’t.”

“You do, you always smell good,” you reply. One sniff, he laughs, “See!”

“Mmm,” he plays along, “the sweet smell of planes and trains and jet lag.”

That makes you laugh, and at the mention of jet lag, Eren realises he could probably fall asleep like this given the chance. He has missed this, missed you, so fucking much. The emotions are overwhelming. 

Eren kisses behind your earlobe, and then just underneath your jaw. That’s new. Eren was always a cheek-kiss kind of best friend, but never this.

You’re not complaining. Your head drops to one side, almost giving him more access to the space free, and he occupies it. Those fucking butterflies; Eren feels sick with nerves as he kisses you, under your chin and across your neck, on that spot on your collarbone you found out tickled after Seven Minutes in Heaven in Year 8.

Maybe your fingernails in his hair are a way of you telling him to stop - it’s something he can think about tonight if he can’t fall asleep, something he doesn’t care to think about when he kisses on your actual jawline, to your cheek and the corner of your mouth, your cupid’s bow.

He moves away with a blush that matches your own, but maybe you can’t see his in the colour of your fairy lights. He plays with the dazed confusion on your face as he moves the hair from across your face to around your ears, smiling and raising his eyebrows.

“Your hair is so fucking wet,” he sniggers boyishly.

“I told you,” you shrug. You shrink, relaxed, “Fuck, why are you here? I mean, I’m literally so happy, but… Are you gonna get in trouble for this?”

“I dunno,” he admits. “Maybe, probably. I mean…the guys know I’m here. Jean drove me to the airport with Armin.”

“That’s not what I mean, though.”

Eren sighs loudly. “Yeah, I know. Frank told me all about the girls.”

“Little fucker. Is he here? I’ll punch him for mentioning it to you. It’s honestly fine. It's only a few. Most are really nice!”

“You’re my best friend for life, it’s important to me that you’re not uncomfortable by--”

“I’m not,” you assure him, hands trapped in his hair. You frown and try to change the subject, “Damn, this got long. Didn’t look long over the phone.”

“I've been growing it out,” Eren replies. “Heard you fancied Keanu Reeves, couldn’t handle the competition.”

“Ha!” you retort. “Simp.”

“For you,” frowns Eren dramatically.

Conversation fizzles comfortably, to the point where you both forget that Eren's underneath you and your legs are wrapped like a koala around his middle.

The fact that this is normality for you both is ignored. You’ve done worse things together. Eren even knows that the bra you’re wearing now is one he bought for you, half as a joke, half not. That could be why Eren feels the way that he does, why the confusion wraps around his body and traps him.

Eren knows that the butterflies in his stomach don’t just appear because you’re his best friend he hasn’t seen in a while. He knows what they mean when they flutter when your name pops up when you’re calling him, when an interviewer tries to catch him out by bringing you up in another interview that you don’t need to be mentioned in.

Eren knows that coming here was worth the confusion, and the nerves, and the fact that this will be a headline when it gets out. EREN YEAGER GOES TO VISIT HIS BEST FRIEND…BUT ARE THEY MORE? Or worse, NETIZENS HAVE PROOF THAT A.O.T EREN IS DATING HIS BEST FRIEND Y/N…

He doesn’t want to hurt you. That’s why he feels scared. For you to be scandalised by an article online that caught him out in his feelings, he knew it wasn’t fair. Eren might be too afraid to say he’s in love, and too afraid to find out if you feel it too, if all those years of confused relations and flirtations meant anything, but he’d risk those feelings and the headlines if it meant being able to spend one more day with you.

Eren's got a week and a half with you. Something’s gotta give within this week. He doesn’t want to go back to filming with more regrets than he came here with, and so for now, he’ll just have to swallow those butterflies back down when they pour out of his mouth.

Right now, he can’t afford to be caught out. It has to be said on his own terms, when the timing is perfect. It has to be perfect, because it’s what you deserve. It has to be perfect, because if it isn’t, then Eren doesn’t think it will be worth it.

Losing you to a headline and a butterfly is out of the question. You hop off him and shrug on a jumper from out of your wardrobe. If you noticed his unease, then you didn’t mention it. He almost wants to cry, wants the confusion to go away for the night so he can enjoy being here.

Fuck.

For now, he thinks as he follows you with an arm around your shoulders out of your bedroom and towards the kitchen to meet the others, he’ll just have to fake it 'til he makes it. Just like always. Put on a face, put on a show, until it all feels worth the spillage. He can’t let the butterflies escape yet.

It has to be perfect, and until then, he’ll just have to be patient, even if it breaks his heart more by pretending.

[keyotos]

kiss the girl

summary ⎯ five times dan heng has thought about kissing you, and the one time he actually does.

tana's words ⎯ i've been recently listening to kiss the girl (ashley tisdale version) and its cute and made me think of dan heng. and idk if this follows canon story or not bc im not at xianzhou yet lolz.

also ik the title says 'kiss the girl' but that's only bc i was listening to the song. reader is gender neutral.

tags ⎯ friends to lovers. pining i think. hurt and comfort (at the end). flustered dan heng. fluff i think.

THE FIRST TIME dan heng thinks about kissing you, he immediately pushes away the thought. it was out of character; it was outrageous for him to think of a friend that way. it made him feel perverted for even thinking of the action.

it was a sunny day. you two (plus march and stelle) were in belobog at the time and you guys were witnessing bronya's speech. all of you agreed the speech was marvelous, and you all felt a sense of pride for bronya.

your eyes were sparkling in the sun as you watched bronya speak, and dan heng couldn't help but become enamoured by your face. he looked away from his paper to peek at your awed expression.

at that moment, dan heng thought you were the most beautiful person he's ever seen. but he can't think that. he cannot. not only were you a fellow trailblazer, but you were also his friend. he couldn't risk one of his greatest friendships over something as minimal as this.

so, he pushed the thought out of his brain. he thought that it would be gone forever, but he was deeply wrong.

THE SECOND TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you occured while you two were gazing in the astral express. by this time, you two have left belobog, and are awaiting your next journey.

you chose to pass the time by 'star-watching,' a new term you created as a substitute to cloud watching. the activity is similar to cloud watching as you point out shapes that make beings.

dan heng told you that you were just pointing out constellations, you said that you wanted to pass on the technicalities.

so now, you two were star-watching. you kept pointing out absurd patterns, such as, "this one looks like svarog," (it did not) and, "this one looks like balls." of course, none of the constellations looked like either of the comparisons (dan heng was thinking about taking you to the eye doctor), but dan heng played along anyway. anything to make you smile.

at one point, the absurdities stopped, and you began pointing out real constellations. so many beautiful creations in the sky, yet the real beautiful thing was right next to him, continuously pointing out constellations.

you rested your head on your hand, mindlessly gazing out at the empty field of stars in front of you, "it's beautiful."

"yeah," dan heng mindlessly replies, not even realizing what he's just said, "it is," he finally says, looking at you.

maybe it's the light from the stars hitting your face, or maybe it was just your radiant beauty, but the urge to kiss you came up once again. subconsciously, dan heng knew the feeling would arise sooner or later. but that didn't mean he liked the feeling.

he wants to preserve your friendship so bad; but sometimes, the line drawn alongside friendship and love begins to thin. sometimes, the line gets so thin that dan heng fears that he'll trip and fall into you.

THE THIRD TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you was when you two were hanging out in his room. over the span of months, dan heng has learned to appreciate your being, and sometimes (he will never admit this) he feels calmer around you.

usually, dan heng didn't let other people be in his room, but it was different with you. for some reason, he liked it when you were in his room. sometimes, he finds himself wanting you to be in his room.

he was quietly sorting through his data bank while you were reading. it was such a calm and quiet moment; dan heng felt peace for once. there was music playing softly in the back, the room was silent, and the air was just right. it felt nice.

dan heng was too tuned into his data bank that he didn't hear footsteps coming up closer to him. it was only when he turned his head to check on you, that dan heng noticed you were right next to him.

you were right next to him, head nearly leaning on his shoulder, and you were so close to him. dan heng's heart was about to beat out of his chest, and he began to worry about the warmth that was rapidly spreading to his neck.

when you noticed dan heng's reaction, you thought you'd surprised him. you moved a little bit back, "sorry, did i scare you?"

"no, not at all. i was just a little startled," dan heng replied while rubbing the back of his (reddening) neck.

"that's like, the same thing as scared," you gave a low chuckle and moved closer to him once again, "you would know this."

"dunno," dan heng paused, "maybe i was too frightened to remember." when you laughed at that, dan heng swore he blushed all the way up to his ears.

"you are not funny," you gave him a slight shove that didn't really affect him. you leaned closer into the database, "what are you doing?"

you didn't realize how close you were to dan heng, your faces nearly touching. you were scrolling around his data bank while dan heng was trying to hide his rampant blush from your eyes.

dan heng stared at you while you browsed, taking in your close presence. you didn't seem nearly as tense as he did. you were relaxed, comfortable, you leaned into him. dan heng found himself staring longer than normal.

then, the thought, came in. the same recurring thought he'd been having for a long time: the thought to kiss you. he wanted to take you by the hands and pull you closer to him. he wanted to feel your palms and he wanted to feel you closer to him.

and this is the moment were dan heng realizes that he wants to be more than friends. dan heng realizes that he likes you; he wants you to be with him, he wants to feel you by his side. he wants endless star-watching nights; he wants to see you constantly.

and that is dangerous. not only would that ruin your friendship, but it would also endanger you. there's so much that would put you at risk.

"you should go back to your room," dan heng puts a gentle hand on your shoulder, causing you to look back up at him. your confused expression almost shatters dan heng's resilience, but he goes on, "it's late. go get some rest."

you keep the hand on your shoulder, "you too. don't stay up too late, okay?" the soft tone of your voice makes dan heng melt, and he almost wants to pull you back and ask you to stay. almost.

dan heng nods and you leave. he leans back on his desk and puts his head in his hands. what is he going to do?

THE FOURTH TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you was the night you arrived in the xianzhou. you (and march and stelle) were exploring the city and it's wonders while dan heng was treading carefully behind you.

you haven't had a full conversation with dan heng for days. you assume it was probably because you were snooping around his data bank, but he has never minded that before. you haven't got an actual chance to apologize either, because for some reason, dan heng is now constantly busy.

the four of you decided that you would split up to look around. march immediately went to stelle, so that left you with dan heng.

dan heng knew this would happen. he couldn't avoid you for too long anyway, even if he tried. he would always end up gravitating back towards you.

it pained him to not talk to you. he missed your voice, your jokes, your little touches. he missed your book talks, he missed the way you'd always be in his room, he even missed your nosiness.

you and dan heng were aimlessly strolling around the streets until you found a lively street parlor. they were selling food, and the aroma was absolutely divine. dan heng knew you immediately caught your mind on something when he saw your beaming face.

you still haven't found a correct time to apologize to dan heng, but that can wait for later. you just wanted to talk to him. "dan heng! we should try some," you beamed.

"okay. i'll wait over here," dan heng monotonously replied. your smile slightly faltered, dan heng thought the sight to be excruciating.

he couldn't still be mad at you, right? you had to apologize soon, because this silent is agonizing. you couldn't help the fact that you missed dan heng. you missed late nights and his warm touch. you missed his sarcasm and his gentle nature.

when you returned, you brought back one giant kebab that dan heng knew you couldn't finish. you'd probably have enough to share with the entire express.

when you took a bite of the kebab, you moaned with delight, and dan heng forgot how much he missed your smile. it all came rushing back to him, all the things he missed about you. you are right here, in his grasp, yet he still cannot have you.

after your first bite, you offered a second bite to dan heng. etiquette was all out of the picture when you were there.

originally, dan heng wasn't planning to eat. there were lots of problems at hand, and dan heng could not relax now. but you were an obstacle in his equation. how could he refuse you when you were practically bouncing on your toes, smiling, and looking at him with such mirthful eyes. saying no to you was like refusing a blessing from the aeons.

he took a bite out of the kebab, to which he nodded in delight. dan heng finished chewing with a delighted expression on his face, and your smile appeared once again. dan heng felt his lips creep up, and sooner or later, he was smiling as well.

he looked down at your happy expression, and he noticed that you had food on the corner of your mouth. dan heng usually scolded you for being slightly messy, but in this tender moment, there was no need.

dan hen grabbed a napkin from a nearby table and wiped the corner off your mouth off. he wiped the food off so tenderly that you would think he was tending to something delicate and fragile. and the gaze he gave you after. you nearly passed out. dan heng looked at you with such fondness and love that you gripped the kebab harder.

his mind hadn't registered what he just did before you quietly said, "thank you."

dan heng nearly malfunctioned. what he just did was criminal. it was a simple thing, however it was most criminal to dan heng. during that moment, all he could think of was your lips on his. the tenderness of his touch was his mind projecting how he would cup your face when you two kissed. all of it felt so wrong, but so right.

"no problem," dan heng blushed and avoided your eyes. "do you... do you think we should meet back up with march and stelle?"

"yeah," you looked down at the ground, slightly flustered, "yeah. let's go."

things were awkward. but at least things were okay. and that was all that mattered to you.

MARCH 7TH HAD speculations. you and dan heng were like a pair. you two were a dynamic duo, second to march and stelle, of course. you would always be seen with each other. when march "accidentally" stumbles into dan heng's room, you'd be somewhere in there as well.

so, why is it that whenever march barges into dan heng's room, you aren't there? why are you not with him? why is he "constantly busy" when he there is nothing to store in the data bank? something was up, and march was determined to find out what was happening.

"don't you think it's weird that we never see dan heng and yn together anymore?" march asked stelle while sipping on juice.

stelle huffed, "i mean, it's a little weird. but maybe they're both exhausted. we just got out of belobog and now we're facing more conflict in another world."

"yeah, but," march paused for dramatic effect, "i saw them together in dan heng's room a few days ago."

stelle furrowed her eyebrows, "are you stalking them or something?"

"what?!" march exclaimed, nearly jumping out of her seat. the scene caused stelle to laugh, "no. of course not, i can't believe you accused me of that!"

"so... you don't think it's weird that we never see them together anymore?" march continued.

"okay. i'll answer. it's a little weird. but whatever it is i'm sure they have a reasonable explanation for it," stelle said. "why are you asking about them anyway?"

"because," march drew out the syllables, "they're cute. i've been shipping them. and plus, dan heng hasn't really been acting like himself recently."

"yeah, but what are we gonna do about it? he hasn't really opened up to us about his problems... like... ever..." stelle trailed off, as if she tried to remember how many times dan heng has ever spoken about himself.

"don't worry stelle," march grinned, "i have a plan."

"i can't believe we fell for this," you grimaced in the closet you were stuck in.

march and stelle split up and told both of you that there was a group meeting in march's room. obviously, because the both of you thought there was something urgent, you rushed in there. you were prepared, only to be ambushed and pushed in a closet by march and stelle as a ploy to "make up."

alas, you knew you needed to talk things out sooner or later.

dan heng, on the other hand, was freaking out. you're close. you're so close that he can feel every time you exhale out of your nose. this closet had no space, so you were practically pressed up on dan heng.

the one thing he couldn't see though, was your face. dan heng wanted to see your face. he wanted to study you up close: he wanted to your skin with his hands, wanted to pull you closer so he can observe the way your mouth lifts when you smile. he wants so much, but he can have none of it.

"i think i can break us out," dan heng offered.

"do you think they're guarding the doors?" you chuckled. dan heng gave a small smile after hearing your laugh. it's ironic that you're laughing in this situation while dan heng's heart is about to burst.

"i think the both of us can take them," dan heng answered.

this is the most you two have ever spoken to each other in days. you missed his voice and you missed being so close to him. unconsciously, you leaned closer to dan heng. you would know his warmth from anywhere.

as you two try to find a good point to hit, your hands brush against dan heng's. the way his hand feels on top of yours just feels right. the way his touch is still so gentle; oh how badly you missed his touch against yours.

"i'm sorry!" dan heng quickly removed his hands from yours. he moved away from you as well. you wanted so badly to chase him: you wanted to come closer, to place your hands with his one more time.

but you didn't. you doubted the fact that dan heng wanted to be near you. with his recent actions, you were wondering if the two of you were still on good terms or not. you could mess everything up with one action; dan heng was the very last thing you wanted to lose.

when you two finally found a good breaking point, you both put all your body strength into prying the doors open. it took a few tries, but the doors finally opened. however, there were consequences. the closet fell down with the combined force of both your bodies shaking it.

before you two fell to the floor, dan heng grabbed your arm and pulled you underneath him in a quick motion. your heart raced against your chest; you were so close that you could feel dan heng's heartbeat as well. and to your surprise, his heart was beating just as fast as yours.

the closet fell on top of you, and dan heng shoved it off of the two of you in one motion. seeing him do that just made your heart beat faster, and you were sure that you were breathing faster as well.

dan heng looked down to check on you, but doing so brought him much closer to you. closer than he had ever been. if dan heng moved down a little bit more, he would be able to close the distance between your lips. the urge was tempting: he was on top of you, your faces were both so close to each other, and your breathing was rampant and quick.

"are you alright?" dan heng asked. his breath fanned your face and you stared right into his eyes.

"i should be asking you that," you breathlessly whispered. he was so close and you were about to burst.

"i'm alright," he leaned down closer, "don't worry about me."

you two were both in a daze when you found yourselves leaning closer to each other. dan heng cupped your face; he couldn't wait any longer. all resilience went out the window, because right here, right now, you were here. you were in front of him, looking as radiant as ever, and dan heng could close the distance right now.

his hands treaded carefully across your face, as if you were one-of-a-kind. finally, his hands rested against your cheeks, and he leaned closer. dan heng was so close to kissing you before a commotion entered the room.

"OH MY GOD!" march exclaimed before running out of the room.

you startled, and accidentally pushed dan heng off of you. you frantically apologized while dan heng brushed himself off and helped you up. you were shaking at what almost just happened. you almost kissed your best friend.

the distance between you and dan heng was wide. he made sure to stand exactly five feet away from you. his hands were crossed and he refused to look at you. dan heng was worried that if he got even the slightest glance at you, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from what would happen next.

you both quickly left the room with racing hearts, confused thoughts, and a realization that whatever just happened was a mistake.

WHENEVER DAN HENG NEEDS SOMEONE to help him with his wounds, you are always that person.

at first, it was for team bonding. before stelle came, you all would take turns patching wounds to build team trust. however, with dan heng, the only person that he'd let patch up his wounds was you. you used to tease him and tell him that he was like a dog in that way, but he always brushed it off.

you were always gentle with him; carefully touching up on cuts and bruises with bandages or rubbing alcohol. by no means were you any doctor, but you were tender and calm.

dan heng was wounded again. there was no reason for him to be wounded. the fight was tame; the enemies weren't extremely powerful or anything. but for some reason, dan heng surpassed the rest of the team with more cuts.

now, you two were in a small room together. luckily, it's more spacious than the closet, but it wasn't as big as dan heng's room. you and dan heng were both sitting on a table; you sitting criss-cross-applesauce while dan heng was sitting properly.

the both of you haven't talked ever since the closet incident. instead, you two have been sharing gazes, brushing past each other in halls, and staying five feet away from each other.

this was the closest you have been in a while.

you are focused on banadaging dan heng's cuts. your eyes are glued to his arms and torso; you refused to look up at dan heng. you couldn't look at him for two reasons: you were slightly mad at him for obtaining so many injuries and you still couldn't look him in the eye after the past situation.

dan heng sat in silence as you tended to him. he knew you were mad at him, and he felt awful. dan heng knew that he didn't need to sustain as many injuries has he had. the only reason why he had so many injuries was that he was trying to distract himself from his feelings. the closet situation had him questioning himself. given the chance, would he hold himself back or would he let his urges win?

"i'm done," you let go of his arms and started putting bandages away. dan heng didn't know you'd be done so quickly. he wanted to bask in your grace for a little longer. dan heng thought about pulling a stitch in order to get you to stay longer, but that just seemed weird.

dan heng knew he couldn't let you leave like this. there was too many unspoken words between you two; most of them, partially his.

during this, dan heng realized something. he realized that, even though you are still mad at him, you stayed with him. you didn't ask for march or stelle to help him, but you did it yourself. dan heng could be reading too much into it, but dan heng is tired. he's tired of longing for you.

and maybe, just maybe, if you'll stay when it gets difficult (like right now), maybe you'll stay when it gets hard as well.

dan heng decides to leave all resilience behind. for once, he doesn't calculate the consequences nor does he hold himself back.

you're about to slide off the table until dan heng pleads, "wait." he grabs your arm and holds you there with a gentle grip. you could slip out of it if you wanted to, but this may be the first actual conversation the two of you will have in a while.

dan heng takes your silence as an answer. "thank you," he says. he curses at himself at the simple response. it was anti-climatic. "i appreciate you," he adds on.

the compliment made you blush, even though it was very simplistic. you avoid looking at him and rather focus on tapping your fingers on the table. "no problem. it was nothing anyway."

you two remain silent for a few moments; you didn't want to leave in fear that this may be one of your few conversations. dan heng was trying to find the right words to say.

"i really do appreciate you. for being here. for always being here," he continues. dan heng realizes he sounds redundant, and he wants to slap his palm across his face. with you, he couldn't find the right words to convey his actions. saying, "i'm sorry," wasn't enough and saying, "i miss you," was too little.

"i told you. it's nothing. i'd do the same for everyone else," and you wanted to chide yourself for saying the last sentence. not true, because the only person who'd you really do all of this for was only dan heng.

"i think this is the longest conversation we've had in a while," you murmur to yourself.

"i know," dan heng replies. you jump back on the table, almost falling off. if it wasn't for dan heng catching you (yet again), you would've fell off. his touch sends electricity through your veins; his touch brings warmth to your body.

"hey! you need to watch your stitches," you automatically scolded him. your nagging was a normal occurrence, but this time, it felt rare. dan heng hasn't heard you nag at him for years (days), and he feels as though he can breath normally now.

"sorry," he pulls back. you're left shuffling closer to dan heng, not that you notice, due to your almost fall. you two were facing each other now; the distance was a lot closer than before.

you let out a small laugh at the situation. practically falling of a table was not a laughing matter, but you always found joy in those situations. sometimes, dan heng thought it was a bit strange, but he always valued your optimism.

"i'm sorry dan heng," you look back down on the table, "i didn't know going through your data bank would make you ignore me for days," you let out dry chuckle.

dan heng furrows his eyebrows in shock, "don't apologize. i don't mind you looking through the data bank."

you looked up after his reply, expression shadowed with confusion, "wait? really? so... why the radio silence? did i have something to do with it?"

"no! no, it wasn't you," dan heng quickly reassured. "it was me. i was the problem."

"don't have to tell me that," you smiled and bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from laughing.

"i'm gonna let that slide," dan heng smirked. it was nice, the way you two fell back into your normal routines once again. it was like all the tension that was previously there, simply dissipated.

"i missed you," you crossed your legs on the table, moving back to the criss-cross applesauce position.

"me too," dan heng replied. "i missed you a lot." he looked straight into your eyes.

you flustered underneath his gaze, "i probably missed you more. sometimes i dunno if i can survive without you," you joked. it was a joke, but occasionally, you find it to be true.

"for me, it's the other way around," dan heng mumbled beneath his breath. "i really missed you. and our late nights. and star-watching."

"you missed star-watching?" you astonishly asked. dan heng wished he could take a picture of your grin when he told you that he missed star-watching.

"i missed a lot of things," dan heng paused, "but i missed you the most."

"i'm sorry for pushing you away yn. i was just⎯ scared," time to rip off the band-aid, "when i'm around you, i just get so messed up. you're the only thing on my mind sometimes. everything about you just makes me⎯ breathless? speechless? you amaze me to the point where i can't even think of a word to describe you."

dan heng pauses and his heart is racing. you're looking at him as if you want him to continue, as if you want him to finally say what he wants. dan heng doesn't know that you want it too.

"yn," dan heng looks straight at you, "i have feelings for you. feelings that i think will overwhelm me at one point if i keep it all together. i never stop thinking about you, longing for you. i want you and i think i really want to kiss you," dan heng finishes. he fumbled on his words back there, because he doesn't think he wants to kiss you, he wants to.

"dan heng..." your face is hot. your body is hot. your breathing is fast-paced and you feel like you are about to be on fire. adrenaline rushes through your veins and you are sure you are not thinking straight.

you pull him in for a kiss, tugging him closer by his chin and kissing him passionately. you take that fire from your body and you pour it all into this kiss. dan heng is surprised at first, but then reciprocates your actions. while your hand is on his face, his hands slide to your hips, tugging you closer and holding you tighter.

you two kiss until you have to stop for air. when you breathe, the whole world feels like it's on fire as well.

"i feel the same. i can't stop thinking about you," you lean in for another kiss, "i miss you," another kiss, "i missed being with you," another, "i missed being close to you," another, this time a little longer, "but i really hope i don't miss this."

"don't worry," dan heng pauses, "you won't. i promise."

and after all of that, dan heng finally got to kiss you.

[blueysobssesions]

His last moments with you

Angst, Character death

Hobie Brown, Pavitr Prabhakar, Miguel O' Hara, Miles Morales, Peter B Parker, Gwen Stacy

Hobie Brown

His last moment with you, was him pulling you from the backstage, taking you to the stage while the band played their instruments. Kissing you right there, with his fans watching the two of you. You can hear the lousy screams from the crowd as he held you close, pulling away. "H-hobie..." "Shh, jus' look at me, luv" You locked eyes with Hobie, his forehead touching yours saying "I love ya'"Seems like most of the crowd heard what he said, they were screaming. You were flustered, wanting to go back to the backstage but, he placed a kiss on your cheek before letting you go.

The concert wasn't the same when Hobie took a break... over a month when the 'event' happened.

Pavitr Prabhakar

His last moments with you were after the graduation of the both of you, you two were excited at that moment. 3...2...1! the countdown finished, then everybody started to toss their caps in the air, celebrating the completion of the journey. As the caps fell back down, you locked eyes with Pavitr, leaning into a kiss. The world seemed to fade away in that moment, and all you could feel was the warmth of his lips against yours. Everyone looked at the both of you in awe, one of your bestfriend didn't hesitate to take a picture. "Everyone's looking at us" "Do you think that I care?" he said before pecking your lips.

It was a bittersweet goodbye, this would be the last time you would be together.

Miguel O' Hara

His last moment with you was, at the bedroom, cuddled up together. It was his first proper sleep. You watched as him peacefully drifted off, his breathing steady and his face relaxed. Your fingers slowly stroking his soft hair, while your other hand held his hand. You were happt to finally see him sleep properly, with how much he's focused and stressed... he couldn't sleep. As a wife of his, you need to take care of him and ensure he gets the rest he deserves. 

But now, he's taking care of himself... the word 'sleep' now was nothing to him.

Miles Morales

His last moments with you was having a dinner with you and his parents. Rio already liked you when you started to teach Miles spanish, and you helping jeff solve some crimes here and there. Miles couldn't help but smile at this. Rio was the one who made you come over and have dinner, and of course you agreed. He couldn't help but be flustered when you talked about him to them. "He did great at spanish class" you smiled, before eating your food. "Oh, really? Well, that's indeed great! What did he get?" "I think miles should answer that" you giggled. They turned their head towards them, which miles flinched. "u-uh, yeah... I got an A plus" he said nervously. Rio gasped, impressed "Wow, really! That's great!" "Good job, miles" they said. "Well, Y/n helped me with it. You guys should thank Y/n too" Miles smiled at you, how can he be lucky? You smiled back and blushed a little bit.

And now here... Rio and Jeff comforting their son... holding his phone, the picture of the both of you showing in the screen.

Peter B. Parker

His last moments with you is the both of you danicing in the living room while music plays in the backround. You began to move to the beat, leading him in a slow dance. As the both of you moved together, you both found lost in the moment, forgetting the world outside your own four walls. It was just the two of you, surrounded by love and music. The song ended and you both stood still for a moment before breaking apart and looking at each other with a smile on your face. "I love you," he said as he pulled you into his arms. "I love you too," you replied as he kissed your forehead.

It was the first and last dance for him

Gwen Stacy

Her last moments with you is hanging out with the others for the first time. Going on a picnic with Hobie, Pavitr, You, Gwen, Miles, Peni and Peter with mayday. As the sun set on that memorable day, laughter filled the air as you all bonded. It was a beautiful moment for everyone, the two of you watching the sunset while the others chatter. Your head on her shoulder as you both shared a comfortable silence. 

Knowing that it would be your last moments with all of them.

[thatfreshi]

Rage To The Point of Hysteria (Astarion x Reader)

Third part in this little series (I Want To Mean It and Take This and Leave are both before this.)

Recommended Song: Forgiveless - SZA Ft. Ol' Dirty Bastard

"Well thank the gods you're not upset, because I have a feeling Gale wouldn't try to reverse it at this point."

Astarion's ear perk up at your comment.

"What do you mean darling? I'm sure he'd try if you asked him."

You hesitate to speak again, knowing your fiance will be pissed as soon as he hears about what happened in Gale's tower. Rightfully so, of course, but Astarion is not the type of man you want to make angry, especially when it comes to his lover.

"We aren't exactly... speaking?"

His eyes narrow.

"Is he being a dramatic sad boy again? Because first of all that's my thing, and second of all he has a wedding to be in tomorrow."

"I have a feeling you won't want him there anymore."

"Why not? He's our best friend! Gale has stood by us loyally as long as we've been in love."

You pause, he knows you're not telling him the whole story, but he doesn't push it, knowing you're nervous.

"You do love me... right?"

Suddenly a sadness casts across his eyes, wondering why you would even ask such a question.

"Of course I do my sweet. I asked you to marry me, didn't I?"

You sit back down on the bed, beckoning him to come sit with you.

"Well, Gale said some really horrible things. Horrible things about me, about you, about this whole relationship."

You tear up a little.

"You know he speaks without much thought darling. Not the brightest among us."

"No, Astarion, he was really awful. He said that I was a naive idiot for thinking you were in love with me, and how you've just been using me to keep yourself safe all this time, and that this marriage is just an extra layer of protection for you."

Rage. You still think to this day that somehow his eyes get redder when he's mad, even though that's probably impossible.

"He called you, what?"

His fingernails dig into the sheets, wishing they were around Gale's throat. He could care less about what was said about him, he's been lied about all his life. But you were crying because of something Gale said, questioning his love for you over some foolish man.

"Yeah, and I think he's like weirdly in love with me, and he just never said anything? It was all super gross, and I just can't believe he was like that."

"Funny, I'm in love with you and I would never call you a naive idiot like that. Of course, not outside of the times that you enjoyed it."

Astarion gets back up off the bed, making his way to a chest full of old weapons, memories of your journeys. He squats down, unlocking it, gazing at the various dangerous items.

"Aster, what are you doing?"

He laughs.

"Deciding what I'm going to flay him with my dear, what else would I be doing?"

Rage to the point of hysteria, enjoying the image of exacting revenge. The last time you saw him like this was before he killed Cazador.

"You can't just go over there and cut him up!"

"You're right, I have to do worse. You're so smart my dear."

He grabs a couple of blades out of the chest, and you walk over to where he's scavenging.

"I love you-"

"I love you too darling."

"I love you but, this is only going to make it worse. If you kill him, all of the alarms in his tower will go off, you'll probably be arrested-"

"Worth it."

"Astarion, please just listen to me."

"I am listening, I just happen to be scheming at the same time. I am a wonderful multi-tasker after all."

You'd be frustrated if you weren't worried. He really doesn't like seeing you hurt, or upset, and now you're both, all because some raggedy wizard decided he wanted to cause strife.

"Astarion, you can't even go out right now, it's the middle of the day!"

Now, that stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Damn it!"

He tries to ponder for a moment, wondering how long it would take to dig a hole from your house to his tower. After doing some rough math, he lets out a cry of frustration.

"How dare he throw around baseless accusations, and insult you to boot! He's a coward, a slimy, rotten, coward, who's trying to ruin something perfectly good because some goddess told him he should die for the greater good!"

You reach out, grabbing his hand, squeezing it tight.

"Aster, please."

Your desperation snaps him out of his stupor, realizing you're still crying, and his murderous plans aren't helping. He sighs, sitting down next to you, pulling you into lay on him.

"I'm sorry my sweet. I just... I hate seeing you get hurt."

"I know, but killing him doesn't solve anything."

He shrugs.

''Well, it would solve the problem of him existing."

"Astarion."

"Right, right, you're lecturing me about proper emotional maturity and such. Sorry, please continue."

You fiddle with his hands, staring at the details of his knuckles.

"I'm really upset with him too, but I don't need you to go turn him into a human filet, I just need you to sit here and listen to me. I'm mainly upset by what he said about you anyway."

"Well, you know he's wrong."

"Yeah, but to lie about being your friend, and then claim you're still just this horrible person? It's not fair, you've grown so much."

"We're the only people that need to know that Tav. If everyone hated me but you, I'd still be right where I am, loving you, and only you."

You lose a little tension, melting into the warmth of his embrace.

"I suppose you're right."

He leaves a kiss on your head.

"Now, we're going to enjoy our little time left as unmarried lovers, and when dusk comes, Gale and I are going to have a little talk. But until then, you can rant and rave as much as you'd like darling. Does that sound alright to you?"

You draw a little heart with your finger on the top of his hand.

"Sounds great. Thank you."

"Of course whatever you need, always."

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

queer signalling: louis and harry living their beautiful queer lives, collected by me

since we must take note of our fellow queers when they signal that they are very much one of us, despite being closeted. since i've had a very very queer few years thanks to them, thanks to their signalling, thanks to them being brave.

(!! this list isn't exhaustive, and if i've forgotten your favorite, by all means let me know. there's always room for another edition. it's been a while since i made a compilation and felt there was a need of a new one on my blog. this one goes a few years back, since my last one dates from 2021 :'o. so yeah. here we go.)

harry in my policeman, playing a closeted queer man, based on the book that's long been one of his favorites. lauded by the director and co-stars for how well he portrayed this character, how well he understood.

harry wearing a green flower on his chest for the mp premiere, placing himself (once again) in the same line of history as oscar wilde.

louis's green flowers on his initial 28clothing jersey at the first afhf, which includes bonus roses and 28s all around

the entire late night talking mv bc!!!!!

louis's rainbow stage lights during sibwawc. he really did that. every single night.

the entire dazed magazine happening. “I’ve always tried to compartmentalise my personal life and my working life,” he explains. / “I have unlocked an ability to be myself completely, unapologetically,” he says with conviction." / “I think through my own sense of self and personal journey, I am realising that happiness isn’t this kind of end state.”

louis's gay exit songs: most notably 'ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've)'

harry flirting with stanley tucci

louis and his gay ass tank tops !!! we must point it out !!!!!!

all along

harry kissing a pride flag during harry's house ono in nyc

rainbow flare during the btm mv

harry being gifted a mask of his own face at munich n2, which prompted him to say that he feels like he's wearing a mask sometimes

28 in a triangle for 28clothing!!!!!!!!

kit connor soft launching 28 clothing. a young actor starring in a queer coming-of-age series, who was forced to come out after being accused of queerbaiting. he was the first one, besides louis, to wear 28clothing

harry's grammy's speech "people like me" (which ppl sadly misunderstood), echoing what he's been saying on tour for years. this doesn't happen to people like him. if they only knew, right?

harry's freddie-inspired outfit for the grammy carpet (which also brought back his theme for clown/jester fits, like harryween 2021 n2. wonder why)

louis's merch graphic where a boy is trying to smash a glass ceiling

harry posing for david hockney, actual living legend, gay artist of the ages. "Styles seems to know how lucky he is, adding, with a tinge of disbelief: “I’m in awe of the man with enough one-liners for a lifetime.” As to what those one-liners might be? Styles and Hockney’s mutual silence on that question suggests that what happens in the studio, stays in the studio."

louis having suspicious visuals during back to you, the only visuals of that type on tour

harry's 2022 harryween outfit: dressed as danny (literally. he did that. he went grease on us.) but wearing sandy's jacket

louis at barricade aka held safely in the arms of strong security personnel

harry singing man, i feel like a woman and still the one with shania twain. while wearing a rainbow discoball jumpsuit (parallel with kacey musgraves wearing a rainbow dress to sing it with him years ago.)

louis's gay ass merch for the away from home festival

harry dressed in nina ricci by harris reed, an explicitly gender-fluid line. "At 18 I found myself living in london creating ruffle blouses, corsets, fabric flowers and flares from my kitchen floor (...). My creations at the time were met with nothing but criticism for being “too feminine” or “costume”, teachers said I should focus on “menswear” or “womenswear”. l remember it really wasn’t until I started dressing for myself and who I was that it all clicked. @harrystyles was my first ever client who embraced the fun, fluid and expressive clothing I was creating."

continuous bluegreening. to name a few: harry's werchter fit, all this time lights, satellite caps in two colors only, louis's smiley flickering bluegreen on tour in 2022, the james cordon shit, louis in uncasville. enjoy this post here

harry's snl shoot unseens: him as ariel

louis out in amsterdam at a gay bar

harry going to the women's only swimming pond (on a day it was open for men, but this is important to me okay)

harry's use of orchids in his visuals during 'she' during love on tour '23

the 'hairy mermaid' tour visuals

harry as a mermaid during the mfasr mv. as a supreme physical manifestation of harry as the mermaid he truly is inside. but in his true form he gets chopped up and consumed. literally

as it was mv and its parallels with the matrix, hints to harry as the woman with the red dress.

louis jumping up on barricade against the one spot where a pride flag was draped over it

oh yeah that exact same thing happened in 2022 too

harry forming a skirt with a pride flag in brasil after his pants ripped

that gay ass denim getup with the fur collar?? while wearing the fucking peace ring????

harry and phoebe breaking gender norms in the tpwk mv dance. no i'm not over it yet shut up

louis wearing a basquiat t-shirt, another famously queer artist joining the ranks

harry bought an actual genuine basquiat. flex

harry dressed in skirts for gucci

"happy pride! happy pride! 'tis the season! can you tell i'm relaxed?"

"isn't all of this sparkly bi music?"

satellite mv rainbow planet tshirt

louis's bigger than me promo where he's literally george michael like??? IM SORRY???????

harry kissing lewis capaldi at the brits

harry kissing nick kroll at the dwd premiere. lol

and... harry as friend of D O R O T H Y. sang over the rainbow. we all cried. especially me at this clip of harry glancing in relief at his band after over the rainbow.

[daisynik7]

“Into you” by Fabolous for Connie Springer- smut + fluff

(S4 connie ofc)

Into You

I think you’re truly something special, just what my dreams are really made of

Pairing: Connie Springer x f!reader

Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word Count: ~2.4k

cw: super fluffy, kinda cheesy, college au, modern day au, lots of basketball terms (applies specifically to NCAA and NBA), explicit language, smut – PIV sex (cowgirl position), implied creampie

Summary: You and Connie Springer have been close since childhood, growing up as next-door neighbors and best friends. The bond the two of you share is undeniable, but you’ve never been able to admit how deep your feelings are, either to yourself or to him. You continue to support him as his friend while he pursues his career as a basketball player, trying to get drafted into the NBA. Though the journey has its ups and downs, one thing is for certain: The two of you will always have each other, forever and ever. 

Author’s Notes: Hi anon! Thanks so much for requesting this song for the y2k karaoke party because it’s one of my FAVORITES! It really gives me Love & Basketball vibes, another favorite of mine that also happens to be a classic in the y2k era. This little fic is very loosely based off of that, so I hope you enjoy! Also, all the basketball/NBA tidbits are mostly from being with my boyfriend, who is a huge NBA fan, so yeah, sorry if any details are inaccurate lol. Likes, reblogs, and/or comments are always appreciated, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! MDNI banner credit to @/cafekitsune. Header image from Pinterest (Slam Dunk manga).

“You have to pinky promise, okay?” Connie sticks his tiny finger out, wiggling it in front of your face, sucking on his cherry-flavored lollipop, lips and tongue-stained red. You’re both five years old, sitting cross-legged in the front of his yard, taking a break from playing hide-and-seek.

“What am I pinky promising?” you ask, voice squeaky and curious.

“That we’ll be best friends forever and ever! No matter what!” he exclaims, beaming at you with his eyes wide, twinkling earnestly. 

You only need to think for a few seconds before you’re hooking your pinky with his, committing to this promise for the rest of your lives. 

~~~

Ten years later, Connie makes it on the varsity basketball team in your high school. It’s rare for a freshman to make it to varsity at Ragako; the coaches must have seen that spark in him that you and his family have witnessed since he started playing at ten-years-old. You used to shoot around with him out in his driveway, where his father set up a little hoop. Eventually, the little one got upgraded to a real one, where the height was adjusted appropriately as Connie grew. You became his practice partner, no longer able to compete with him. Instead, you passed him the ball, watching in awe as he made shot after shot, sometimes deep from the street. He’d pick you up and spin you around, the two of you cheering together, impressed by his skills.

Year after year, he only improved. The way he handled the ball, expertly dribbling it between his legs, behind his back, one-handed, without looking. Or the way his feet gracefully shuffled along the court, the distinct squeak from his shoes echoing off the walls as you watch him on the bleachers, playing three-on-three against some of his buddies at the gym. One time, his friend Jean teases you. “You know, you should stop hanging around here or else people might think you’re his groupie.”

Before you can think of a smart comeback, Connie interjects, shoving Jean hard in the arm. “Hey! Leave her alone. I want her here. I only play like this when she’s around. And she’s not a groupie. She’s my best friend.” He wraps his arm around your shoulders, leading you towards the exit while Jean sputters apologies that go ignored. “Sorry about that,” he whispers to you. “Jean is an asshole. I want you around, got it? Forever and ever.”

You smile, leaning into him. “Forever and ever.”

~~~

It’s at the championship game during senior year that you realize that you’re in love with Connie.

Scouts have already contacted him about full-ride scholarships to university, recruiting him for their team. He’s the most celebrated point-guard in your school’s history, his average points and assists per game breaking records. Ever since he joined, your school has made it in the final round each year, last year resulting in a win, this year leading to a second. 

With seconds left on the shot clock, tie game, Ragako with possession, Connie makes his move. He inbounds the ball to his teammate, quickly taking position at the right wing, his sweet spot. As quickly as it leaves his hands, the ball is passed back to him. He shoots it, and as it flies out from his fingers into the air, the buzzer rings, and he makes it. The crowd goes wild; one side of the bleachers erupting into a frenzy, jumping up and down with excitement. Connie’s parents hug each other first, then surround you in their arms, elated. You don’t expect him to celebrate the win with you, not with his entire team huddling around him, splashing water on his head, cheering his name. Not with all the cheerleaders and fans gravitating toward him, eager to be in the presence of a sure-to-be star in the making. So, it surprises you when you see him maneuver his way through the crowd, heading straight towards you. He pounces on you, giving you the biggest, sweatiest hug with tears streaming down his face. It’s a split second where the surrounding noise goes blank and it’s just the two of you there, basking in each other’s warmth. Soon, his parents join you, also crying happily, and it’s in this moment that you realize this is where you want to be: with him. Forever and ever.

~~~

It's no surprise that the two of you attend the same college together. Most people will see it as you following him, but in actuality, Connie agrees to go wherever you go. Lucky for you both, your top choice is a D1 university where he’s offered a scholarship to play for their basketball team. It works out perfectly, as if it were meant to be. 

He’s busy from the get-go, practicing every day until the season starts in November. You become preoccupied with classes, and naturally, the two of you travel your different paths, meeting in the middle whenever you can. When the season official starts, you attend all his home games, cheering for him from the sidelines surrounded by the other students also chanting his name. Weeknights, he’s often too tired to hang out, retreating to his dorm room to fall asleep, only to repeat his busy schedule again the next day. He grows close with his teammates, spending most of his time with them instead of you, which is to be expected. After all, you and Connie are just friends. Sure, you’re completely and madly in love with him, but he’ll never know that. So, you watch from afar as he pursues his career without you in the way. It’s the way it has to be. 

By the time spring semester rolls around, you and Connie barely see each other. You’ll still text, sometimes video chat or talk on the phone. He mostly vents to you about teammates or coaches that have gotten on his nerves that day. He’ll catch you up on the other schools they’ve defeated or the ones that they’ve lost to. Your school’s record is quite good thanks to Connie, who’s only gotten better since high school. If they continue at this rate, they will win the conference tournament, meaning a trip to March Madness, the most prestigious competition in college basketball. Most importantly, it’s one step closer to the NBA.

As expected, the team does win the conference tournament. That night, the entire campus is lively with students buzzing in school spirit, ready to party the rest of the weekend. All you think about is calling Connie to congratulate him, hear his voice and tell him that you’re so proud of him. You debate with yourself for nearly fifteen minutes, staring at his name on your screen, fingers so close to dialing his number. You decide not to go through with it, certain that he’s too busy with his team, too busy with his fans. He’s not thinking about you, not when his whole world is about to change. And you can’t blame him; you’re just friends, and this is the way it has to be.

The following night, your school organizes an impromptu homecoming for the basketball team, welcoming them as they arrive on the bus, fresh from their championship win. They have a  couple days of rest before they leave for the NCAA tournament, but you’re sure they’ll be busy with press and practice until then. You’re not there to greet them when they step off the bus; instead, you’re sulking in your room, buried under the covers, feeling sorry for yourself for ever falling in love with Connie Springer. It’s a sad, pathetic sight, but at least you’re alone for the weekend to do it while your roommate is out visiting her boyfriend out of town. 

You’re surprised to see Connie’s name flash on your phone a few hours later. You let it ring twice before answering. “Hello?”

“Where are you?” he asks. There’s shuffling in the background, as if he’s walking outside. 

“I’m in my room.”

“I’m coming over now.” He hangs up, not giving you any time to respond. You sigh, mentally preparing yourself for what’s to come.

When you open the door to let him in, he wraps his arms around you in a snug embrace. “I missed you.” He pulls off to hold you by the arms, glaring. “Why didn’t you greet me off the bus?”

“I…” you start, unsure how to respond. 

“I was looking for you and you weren’t there. Where were you?”

“I was studying in the library.” This might be the first time you’ve ever lied to him. You feel guilty and gross. 

“Oh,” he says sadly, still staring at you. 

“Congratulations, by the way. It was an amazing win.” You give him a weak smile, blinking away the tears welling in your eyes. You don’t even know why you’re crying; Connie did nothing wrong. You’re letting your emotions get the best of you, and you can’t help but crumble in front of the only person who knows you better than you know yourself. 

“I don’t care about that right now. I care about you. What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, Connie, I promise.”

“Don’t promise me shit like that. I know you’re upset. Tell me. Please.” His eyes search yours, desperate for an answer. 

You look at his feet, fixating on his shoes, scuffed on the sides from playing. Tears start to drop from your face and on the carpet. “I just…I missed you too. I miss you, Connie. I…I love you.” The confession slips from your mouth in a sniffle, and you’re so upset with yourself for letting it slide in this crucial moment. Neither of you needs the drama of your unrequited love right now. Not you, knowing he’ll be leaving again soon, and especially not him, who has bigger and better things to focus on. 

He gapes at you, stuttering, “You love me?”

You nod, biting your lip.

“Like, love love? Or love like a friend?”

You’re tempted to lie, just to make it easier. But you owe it to Connie to be honest with him. “Love love.”

His mouth is open, eyes bugging out, completely shocked by your admission. Before he can respond, you add, “I’m sorry, Connie. I shouldn’t have told you this right before the tournament, but…I don’t know. It just came out. I’m sorry.”

He stammers, “You’re sorry? This is the best fucking thing I’ve heard in my entire life.” He breaks into a smile, laughing hysterically, an even more bizarre reaction. 

You cross your arms, getting impatient with his ridiculous behavior, eventually grabbing his shoulders to shake him out of his fit. “Connie, what the hell?!”

He wipes his eyes, crying from giggling, beaming at you. “I’ve been in love with since we were kids. Been dreaming of hearing you say that since we were five-years-old.” He hugs you tightly, nuzzling his nose to the top of your head. “I love you and I want to be with you. Forever and ever, right?”

You nestle into his chest, inhaling the familiar scent you missed since he’s been gone. “Forever and ever.” 

~~~

The two of you spend the night together, making love for the first time. His lips are soft against yours, and you smile into his kiss, remembering the day you pinky promised that you’ll be best friends forever and ever, no matter what. His lips were stained red with cherry-flavored candy, looking sickly sweet as he smiled at you. And as you kiss him now, he tastes just as sweet as you imagined he’d be after all these years. 

You kiss him sloppy as you ride his lap, his cock buried deep in your pussy, filling you up to the brim. He moans your name into your mouth as he laps at the saliva collecting on your tongue, slurping your spit, swallowing it thickly. “Fuck,” he groans, hands gripped to your hips, rocking you back and forth on his thighs. “I’ve dreamed about this for so long, baby. So long.”

“Me too,” you whisper, starting to bounce on him, close to your climax. 

“What would you think about? Tell me,” he demands, thumb pressed to your clit, rubbing it raw.

You whine from his touch, increasing your pace, resting your head on his shoulder. “You and me, just like this,” you huff, short of breath. 

“Yeah? You thought about me deep inside you, huh? Fucking this sweet pussy until you come all over my cock, huh?” He thrusts up into you, grip tightening, fingers digging into your flesh. He’s close too, you can feel it.

You moan into his skin, sweat beading on your forehead, throwing your ass back against him in tandem with each pump of his cock. A few more strokes and the two of you come together, the mess spilling onto the sheets as soon as he pulls out. 

He wipes you down with tissues and baby wipes you have handy on your bedside drawer. As soon as you’re both clean, he cradles you in his arms, spooning you from behind. 

“I know this is going to sound super cheesy, but I truly feel like a winner now,” he says, kissing the nape of your neck. 

You chuckle, squeezing his hand in yours. “Wait until you win March Madness. Then you’ll really be a champ.”

“Even if I lose, I’ll still have you. And that’s been my dream all this time.” 

You shift your body to face him, gazing into his eyes. “I thought your dream was to make it into the NBA?”

He smiles, booping you on the nose. “It’s part of the dream, sure. But I wouldn’t be anywhere near where I am now if it wasn’t for you. You kept me going all these years. Knowing you were always on my side gave me the strength I needed to get here. As long as I have you, I’ll be living the dream.” He kisses you on the forehead. “I’m going to love you for the rest of our lives.”

“Forever and ever?”

“Forever and ever.”

~~~

In an upset, your school loses in the Final Four. It’s the furthest they’ve gotten in university history, and a large part of that is due to Connie and his extraordinary performance as their point guard. His efforts do not go unnoticed; his coaches and many prospective agents have contacted him, encouraging him to apply for the NBA draft. 

June of the same year, Connie Springer is drafted tenth in the first round and you’re sitting right beside him with his parents, cheering for him. Just as you have throughout all these years, and just as you will for the rest of your lives. Forever and ever. 

[lokisprettygirl]

Utopia (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x female reader) (Non Canon AU) (18+)

Series Masterlist

Summary: Appointed as a sous chef for the ship Queen Utopia you befriend the charming Daemon Targaryen and quickly develop an unrequited crush on him, not really knowing that your lives are about to get tangled in more ways than one.

Warning: 18+, smut, sex, menstrual sex, unprotected sex.

Note : I'll try to keep this fic short as there's no sub plot but expect 4-5 chapters at least. This fic may not be what you think it is 👀

Deadly locks is not finished but I had to get this chapter out of my head

“Y/n.. Chef Dalton wants to see you..like right now” You let out a sigh of resignation as Emma chased after you, so eager to bring you to Chef Dalton. You were really hoping to find a moment of solitude in your room to rest.

“My shift is over Emma, I'll see him tomorrow” you said to her so she crossed ahead in front of you to glare at you.

“Are you trying to get fired?” Emma asked you so you crossed your arms in frustration.

“Yeah? And they'll find the new sous chef in the middle of the sea?” You asked her so she sighed and glared at you in disapproval “Look i really need to go to my room, and take a painkiller or my insides are going to churn out of my uterus because of this cramp” You yelled in frustration, as you were at the end of your rope. Your stomach was swirling in pain, and you felt like you were about to vomit.

As the door to room no. 143 opened up, you saw him. Him. Daemon Targaryen. The Bane of your existence, well not really, you had an unrequited crush on him but that wasn't really his fault.

“What's going on ladies?” his husky voice made you feel flushed so you looked away.

“Hey Daemon” Emma giggled at him and he winked at her.

“Darling, you heard her she's in pain..she looks awful –” your eyebrows scrunched as he said that.

“Thank you” you murmured so he chuckled in response.

“Tell Dalton she's not feeling well ..he will understand” Emma nodded and sighed before she walked away to speak with Dalton.

“Come here–” Daemon grabbed your arm and took you to his room so you groaned internally but obliged“Take this” he offered you a pill so you glared at him

“I'm not going to take some pill from a guy i have known for a month” you said to him so he chuckled.

“Ouchh love ..i thought we were becoming best of friends” he faked an offense so you took the pill and swallowed it “It's for my migraine attacks..very potent..you'll feel better soon”

“Thank you Daemon..I'll go lie down in my room” he nodded as you said that. You didn't want to be around him in such close proximity, especially in his room because you were afraid of doing something really stupid. As soon as you got into your room, you couldn't help but sigh in relief. You laid down, kicking your shoes off to the side in favor of pure bliss and comfort.

You had officially met Daemon, the lead singer and guitarist of his band The Dragonriders, on your first trip from London to NYC aboard the Queen Utopia ship .You had watched them perform before in the club you used to visit frequently with Emma, she was your old friend and she was also the one managing the band. She had insisted you apply for the job at Queen Utopia, the cruise ship was launched just a month prior and had taken only four trips from NYC to London until now.

You had no intention of crushing on the lead singer guitarist of the band but it happened.

His blonde hair and mischievous smirk was enough apparently. But he didn't feel the same way, you could tell, he was in love already with the lead singer of the band. They were together for years but as they embarked on this journey she broke up with him , however he was still hung up on her.

Every night after your shift ended, you made it a nightly ritual to watch them play at the entertainment center. You observed as Daemon, sang his heart out for her, with his eyes fixed only on her as he belted out every song.

Initially you didn't really notice him, sure he was strikingly good looking but in an unconventional way, he was the type of guy you'd have to have a conversation with in order to truly see his beauty.

“Beauty? A guy's beauty? Really y/n?”

As the pain medication kicked in, your cramp gradually subsided, which allowed you to finally relax. As you were finally drifting off to sleep, you heard a knock on your door and groaned again because you had to get up.

There was no one on the other side of the door. Instead, you found a gift basket outside your door containing a get-well soon card, chocolates, and other comforting snacks.

“Feel better soon. Daemon”

Why the fuck he had to be so nice?

Now that the cramp was gone you really wanted to go see his band play at the entertainment center. You took your time to shower and change into a comfortable outfit of jeans and a shirt. Besides, there wasn't much else to do on this ship anyways.

As you made your way to the venue, you spotted Criston and Aemond tweaking their equipments.

Criston Cole was the drummer in the band and Aemond was their bassist, Aemond was also Daemon's cousin.

Cole had been trying to hit on you since you all got here but of course your eyes were on somebody else, someone who wasn't really available.

As you made yourself comfortable at the bar, you observed Daemon and Lily engaged in a conversation, with her giggling at everything he was saying and he seemed so proud of himself for making her feel that way. It didn't take a genius to see why he was so in love with her, she was beautiful like an angel and she was exceptionally talented as well.

“You know you should just tell him that you want to bone him” Emma sat next to you so you glared at her.

“I don't want to bone him okay?”

“Then stop giving him the bedroom eyes”

You rolled your eyes as she said that.

“So what's their deal, like why did they break up?” You asked her sheepishly and she chuckled in response.

“I don't know..they had been together for years since they were kids..I guess she wanted to explore what else is out there ..she's a dreamer”

“Huhh?”

You leaned back in your bar stool as the sound of his guitar riff blasted in the air. It was the opening to I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic monkeys.

They occasionally played their original music but there weren't many of that so the band mostly opted to play cover songs

Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought

Maybe I just wanna be yours

I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours

“I'd cream my panties if someone looked at me like that while singing” Emma said as she sipped on her drink, you groaned internally as you watched Daemon and Lily eye fucking each other on the stage.

You had been groaning a lot these days and most of the time Daemon was the reason.

Once the show was over Lily and others ran up to you both.

“Great show guys” Emma immediately hopped off the stool to go hug them one by one,

“Thanks darling..I'm gonna go get a drink” Lily said as she excused herself from you two so you gave her a smile.

“Hey grumpy..i thought I wouldn't see you tonight” Daemon mumbled as he hugged you.

“Well I'm not here ..I'm just a ghost” you said to him and his eyes widened playfully.

“You know what helps with cramps?” He asked you so you looked at him curiously and waited for an answer..

“Sex”

“You're disgusting Targaryen”

“Just being honest..tried and tested”

“Ewww” he smiled but as he watched Lily having a conversation with a new hot passenger his smile faded. He was fuming with jealousy you could tell so you ordered a strong whisky and offered it to him.

“You know…this helps with that” you mumbled under your breath so he rolled his eyes but accepted the drink.

After several rounds of drinks, Emma suggested that you and everyone else should head to the club in order to celebrate the night. Emma's proposal was met with a general agreement from all the band members except you, “You guys should go ..I don't want to impose” you mumbled politely

“Ohh bollocks you're a part of the group now baby” Cole winked at you and it made you want to smack him for some reason.

“Grumpy” Daemon said under his breath so you sighed and eventually agreed, it was actually really nice to have people on the ship you could hangout with, otherwise it would have gotten really lonely really fast.

As you all reached the club Daemon asked you to dance with him.

“Look i know you want to make your girlfriend jealous n all but I'm not going to be that chick for you” you said to him while you were already hand in hand making your way to the floor.

“I just wished to dance”

“Sure you did”

As you both became more and more inebriated, your minds drifted into an altered state, allowing you to let loose and revel in the moment. You felt like you were on top of the world, filled with the type of carefree joy you haven't experienced in a long time. However every time his eyes lingered away from you and got stuck on Lily you noticed it and it hurt..

Later that night, as he walked you to the room he was quiet and he seemed upset as well because he had clearly seen Lily walking out of the club with that hot guy she had met before.

“It doesn't suit you” you said to him as you entered your room so he grabbed your arm and pulled you into his chest which immediately made your breath hitch in your chest.

“What doesn't suit me?” the smirk on his face was apparent as he questioned you.

“This whole heartbroken hung up guy look..you're a handsome man..hot ..sexy even..like extremely sexy and you can have anyone you want -”

He smiled as he looked at you, your entire being cringed at the cliche phrases you had used just now but as his fingers curled around your scalp you suddenly felt so shy and taken aback..this was going to be a mistake you knew that.

“You think I'm sexy?” He asked you so you nodded.

“Show me”

“What?”

“Show me how sexy do you think I am”

“Daemon you're drunk-”

“So are you”

“I know”

Without wasting a second further he leaned into you and kissed you and you wanted to stop him and push him away, not because you didn't want to do it but because you didn't want to be rebound fling. Despite your better judgment, you felt yourself succumb to his kiss and leaned into him to kiss him back feverishly..

“I'm on my periods “ you mumbled between the kiss so he chuckled.

“I don't care..I'll be gentle i promise..i know you want this darling..i see the way you look at me” His voice lowered to a seductive whisper as he laid you down on the bed and you propped yourself on the elbow to see him undress. Eyes blew out of the sockets as he took off his shirt, you knew he was muscular but you didn't expect him to be chiseled so perfectly.

Your mouth gaped as he lowered down his pants and he hurriedly unbuttoned your jeans to pull it off you ..

“Fuck I don't have the condom” he groaned as he looked down at you but the frown on his face disappeared as he leaned down to kiss you again.

“Are you on pills honey?” He asked you so you nodded like the desperate whore you were.

“Oh good girl ..you're a good girl” he whispered in your ear and your fingers clutched onto his biceps as he suddenly pushed his cock inside you, the wetness from your arousal as well as the unfortunate bleeding made it so slick and easier for him to thrust in and out of you

“Daemon–”

“Shhhh baby quiet..don't talk..”

The sound of his cock slipping in and out of you made your head spin even more and more, this was a mistake you knew that but you felt helpless, you had been lusting after him for a month so you took your chances in your inebriated state.

“Oh yeah..fuck..” he grunted and moaned and every little noise he made only somehow increased your arousal for him “Such a tight cunt ..oh precious lily I love you”

And there it was, the mumbling of her name that somehow made you feel sober for a moment ..

“It's y/n” you mumbled softly, almost on the verge of breaking into tears so he leaned down and kissed you again.

“I know? What's wrong?” He asked you so you looked at him for a moment but then you didn't say anything, you didn't want to ruin the moment. Instead of pushing him away like you should have done in the first place you kissed him instead.

“Keep going..fuck me please”

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur, you remembered him stumbling his way into the bathroom to clean up and then he helped you do the same and then he puked his guts out in the sink which you had to clean up.

The next morning when you woke up he was not there in the room but you didn't have the time to worry about that or nurse the pounding headache you had because you really had to be in the kitchen. Your shift was going to start in five minutes. However as the hours passed you began to feel nervous about last night, you had a crush on him and he was in love with someone else, you really wanted to turn back the time and stop yourself somehow from fucking up this badly.

As soon as you had a moment of free time after your shift, you located Emma and inquired about the band's current whereabouts. Upon learning that they were rehearsing, you felt an immediate compulsion to make your way to the rehearsal room to speak with Daemon. You wanted to tell him that you weren't expecting anything from him, even though the truth couldn't have been farther from it.

“Hey” you said to Daemon as you knocked on the door of the rehearsal hall and they all passed a look at each other before Daemon excused himself and walked towards you, he grabbed your arm harshly and pulled you outside.

“What are you doing?” he let go of your arm as he spoke, he seemed upset.

“Calm down..I just wanted to talk” you chuckled to lighten up the moment but it didn't really work.

“About what?”

“Daemon”

“It was just sex..we are adults ..we were both drunk and we had sex..that's it..” he was talking to you as if you were five and didn't really understand the situation.

“I know I just–”

“Are you going to be a clinger now? Really? I like you y/n i do ..but only as a friend” his tone was offensive and that only infuriated you further.

“You're being a jerk, you know that?” he chuckled as you said that but then his jaw clenched.

“Really? Didn't seem to think so when you were moaning my name in bed like a whore?”

You slapped him on the cheek, his words were really hurtful not only because he was being mean but also because you actually liked him and you had never been spoken to this way before so it really bothered you.

“I thought we were friends -”

“We are and that's why I was hoping you won't create a scene”

“I just wanted to talk” you raised your voice so he glared at you.

“About what? We slept together..big deal”

“Okay now i know that..forget that i said anything” you turned around to leave and he didn't stop you or anything.

He didn't care at all.

Daemon huffed as he went back to the rehearsal room. What was he thinking last night? Well that was the problem he wasn't really thinking, Lily was talking on the phone while Cole came to him and looked at him suspiciously.

“What was that about?” He asked Daemon to which he responded with a sigh,

“I messed up..we fucked last night..I fucked y/n..don't tell Lily” Daemon said hurriedly

“Why not? She's not your girlfriend anymore” Cole asked, there was a look of amusement on his face.

"I can't afford for her to think I'm messing around. She'll realize what she's missing out on and come crawling back.”

“What about y/n?”

“What about her?” Cole looked at him so Daemon rolled his eyes “We are adults, we were drunk and had sex..big deal” he repeated the same words he had said to you even though the guilt had started to creep in already.

He wasn't a mean bloke, especially not with girls like you but he had been the biggest arse of the century just now.

“Does she feel the same way? she doesn't seem the type to sleep around either” Cole asked him curiously.

“I don't care”

“Cool..so I have my shot open here huh ?” Cole winked at him and Daemon's smile faded, now sure he didn't want to date you or even sleep with you again but then why did the thought of Cole having sex with you made him feel uneasy?

Memories of your body underneath him last night flashed through his mind throughout the day, the way you looked so beautiful and how you responded to his touch and – no he had to stop thinking. He was just feeling guilty for hurting your feelings or whatever, he had a sweet friend in you and he had ruined that now with his big mouth.

At night as they played again at the entertainment center, his eyes looked around for you but you weren't there and he felt even more horrible so once their set was finished he took the lift to the lower deck and made his way to the employee's quarters to go see you. With bated breaths he knocked on your door.

“What do you want?” You asked him as you glared at him.

“I'm sorry about this morning” his voice no longer held the hint of insulting arrogance as before but that doesn't mean you were ready to forgive him.

“Fine..you can go now”

“Y/n..can we just talk?”

“No i hate that..I hate talking and i definitely don't need a speech ..it was my fault too..i knew you were hung up on someone so I should have been more careful” your eyes teared up as you spoke, making your voice quiver and you despised the way your body has betrayed you just now by being so fucking weak.

“I like you y/n..as my friend and as my neighbor here”

“I just told you I hate the talk”

"I know, I know, I just wanted to let you know that I'm not just some total wanker who did this just to hurt you, yeah?” you crossed your arms as he said that.

“Okay I get that”

He nodded but he didn't know what else to say to you so he wished you a good night and decided to go to sleep himself as for some reason this thing between you two had really bothered him.

For several days, you successfully dodged any potential encounters with Daemon. Though you noticed him watching you from a distance whenever you guys bumped into each other in the mess hall or the entertainment center but you understood that it was nothing more than guilt and embarrassment on his part. You did your best to keep your distance but one night when you noticed that he wasn't performing with the band, your concerns grew.

“Hey lily..where's Daemon tonight?” You asked her as you met up with her at the bar so she gave you a smile as she turned away from the gentleman she was speaking with

“Ohh he had a headache so he's in his room”

“You mean the migraine?” you asked her so she chuckled.

“Yeah same difference”

You excused yourself as you wanted to check up on him now as any other neighbor would. He brought you a gift basket when you had cramps.

You were just being a good neighbour.

You made your way to his quarter and knocked incessantly but when he didn't open after a few knocks you decided to twist the knob and see it for yourself.

“Lily is that you?” You rolled your eyes as you heard his low and gravelly voice.

“No it's someone you don't want to see”

You neared the switch board to turn on the lights as you spoke.

“Don't turn on the lights please.. it hurts”

You sat down on the bed as he said that and then you huffed as you laid down next to him, albeit maintaining a proper distance from him..you didn't want to come across as a clinger.

You turned your head to look at him as your eyes have now adjusted to the dark, he was shirtless and had placed a cold towel on his face, that probably helped with the symptoms.

“Does my perfume bother you? I'll go if it's intense” you said to him so he reached for your arm, you were thankful for the darkness because you didn't want him to see how much he was affecting you.

“No stay…distract me”

“How?”

“Sing”

“I'm awful at singing”

“Try”

You sighed as he said that.

“No.. I'm not going to sing. You know sometimes I get this smell of wet wood around me even though it's not there and then I have this intense headache..is that a migraine?” You asked him so he pulled the towel away from his face to look at you.

“Could be”

You didn't say anything after that so he cleared his throat before he spoke again.

“Y/n”

‘mmm”

“I'm sorry”

“It's okay..it wasn't just you..i should have been careful and i should have known better” he chuckled as you said that

“Well I'm not sorry about the night ..I'm sorry about how i treated you the next morning”

You couldn't help but smile as he said that. Well at least he was feeling something.

“Well perhaps you're not a jerk after all”

“Thank you..that means alot to me”

“Why?”

“Because you're my friend and I have grown to really care about you y/n”

You went to sleep that night worrying about your blooming feelings for the man that you knew would never feel the same way about you.

You fell into a deep slumber that was only disrupted by the sudden chaos that erupted around you in the form of screams and the wailing of sirens. As you woke up the warning red light in the room was flashing continuously,

“Attention, this is the Captain speaking. Our ship is taking on water, and we need to abandon ship immediately. I repeat this is an emergency. We are experiencing a major breach in the hull, and our lifeboats and life preservers are ready to be deployed. Do not try to save your belongings. Your safety is your first priority. We repeat, this is an emergency”

A sense of excruciating fear washed over you as you heard the message on the speaker, your life was about to change forever.

"Abandon ship immediately”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Note : Let me know if you want to be tagged

[sunshine-daisies-library]

staged romance | luke hemmings x actress!reader

summary: when you get the role of a lifetime, luke struggles to support you when he finds out who your scripted love interest is 

word count: 10.8k

warnings: misogyny, arguments, drinking, jealousy, swearing, mentions of cheating, angst

author’s note: the title of the movie/book and the show were smth i made up on the fly so it’s not to be affiliated w other books/movies that are called that lol, it’s all a coincidence. this is also not proofread!

second author's note: the last bit was rushed in the end but let me be clear! my intent was to portray a loving realistic relationship with healthy communication of feelings and borders. of course, things like that are tough to convey in a one-shot alone. talks of jealousy and cheating is heavily mentioned throughout the text, but it is not my intent to make luke appear toxic or y/n seem unfaithful. the two are in a healthy relationship that gets plagued by jealousy, insecurities, and stupid social media! i, in no way, shape, or form, condone toxic relationships and try my best to let that show in my writing. please consult a trusted loved one if you are experiencing a toxic relationship. i love yall and hope the best!

happy reading lovelies <3

“I’m sure you boys are incredibly busy now more than ever,” the interviewer said, referring to the band’s many new surprises in store. “I can’t help but wonder what you guys are most excited about.”

Luke was nodding along to the woman, barely paying attention and silently hoping for the interview to end faster. Ashton had always teased Luke for having a blank stare during these interviews and the fans have caught on, too, but he couldn’t help being bored talking about the same things over and over again. 

“So busy,” Michael agreed, taking the reins on the question. “We’ve got new music coming out, we’ve been working nonstop to release them and film music videos, too. Not to mention our tour coming up in a couple of months. But to speak for the boys, I think we’re all pretty excited to have our music featured in a movie.” 

Ashton was quick to chime in. “Yeah, we’ve worked real hard on this one, we were in the studio for hours trying to perfect it and we hope we did the movie justice.” 

The interviewer shifted through her binder of notes and questions. “It’s safe to say everyone is stoked to hear it in theaters,” she concluded. “But the question that’s been on everyone’s minds is, Luke, how do you feel about writing a song for a movie your girlfriend is the face of? Could you walk us through that process?” 

Calum quietly nudged Luke in the side, bringing his attention to the woman sitting before them. “Oh yeah,” Luke coughed, readjusting his posture in his chair. “I’m super excited to help bring this story to life, it’s been a real journey to go through the entire process of it all. I’m especially proud of y/n for getting the lead role, it’s been a dream of hers to get this far and I’m so lucky to have her in my life and watch her grow as an actress.” 

“Aw,” Ashton leaned into his mic, making the boys laugh. “So cute.” 

“Very cute,” Luke retorted with a small smile. “She’s great and definitely deserves this role; she’s worked so hard on it and it really shows on the screen. As for the music, I agree with Ash when he said we worked our asses off on it. y/n definitely put in a lot of input on this one, not actually, but she was a great inspiration throughout the writing and producing process.”

Michael grinned at his friend, picking up his mic. “He’s downplaying it,” he quipped. “When the producer reached out to us to write something up for the movie, Luke was really into it. I mean reading through the tidbit that the producer sent us, rereading the book the movie was based on, all of it. Out of the four of us, Luke was really the one who took the wheel on this project and y/n was a big part of the reason why.” 

Luke turned red at Michael’s explanation, but it was true. He was ecstatic to hear they wanted 5 Seconds of Summer to add to their soundtrack, and he was even more excited to hear it was for the very movie you just received the lead role for. You both found out the news on the same day and were over the moon excited. 

“I got the part!” you yelled, running down the hall to Luke’s office with Petunia following close behind you. “Babe! I got the part-”

Luke swung the door open, a look of disbelief on his face. “They want us to write a song for the movie,” he announced. 

Your eyes were wide at his news. In an instant, you jumped into his arms and he caught you, spinning you around as you both let out shouts of joy. Luke peppered kisses down your face and neck, anywhere he could reach, in pride. 

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” he told you earnestly. “I’m so so proud of you. You earned this!” 

“We earned this,” you corrected him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling into a kiss.

“Guilty,” Luke sheepishly admitted to the interviewer. “I love my girl, what can I say?”

The woman let out a chuckle before getting back into the interview. “All the fans are happy to hear that,” she told him. “Last question and it’s for Luke again;  so Michael said that you read the book for “What Lies Between Us,” and so you probably know that there are a couple explicit scenes in there, particularly between the lead and her love interest, played by Harry Styles. We all are very aware of your past with One Direction, having toured with them and gaining your fame through the tours. How do you feel about your girlfriend and friend coming together for these intimate scenes?” 

The boys “oohed” immaturely as Luke blushed, shaking his head. You had already told him there would be scenes like that in the movie, not because he was jealous or would prevent you from doing them, but just to be open with him. After a discussion, the both of you were on the same page about the scenes, agreeing that it’s just work and holds no value offset. 

“Yeah, n/n told me about them,” Luke chuckled, taking a sip of water. “And I don’t have anything to say about them. y/n is a great actress and so is Harry. They’re respectable workers and take their job seriously. I trust them both, not that that matters.” 

“Well said,” the interviewer applauded. “So even beyond the explicit scenes, do you mind that they will be portraying lovers throughout the film?” 

Luke set his water on the ground. “I mean, who doesn’t love Harry Styles, he’s handsome,” he joked playfully. Luke’s crystal blue eyes stared deeply into the camera. “No, I don’t mind at all. It’s all for the movie. Styles may have my girl in the morning and afternoons, but at night she’s mine to hold to sleep.” 

–

Luke entered the bedroom, sighing loudly as he hunched over to throw off his shirt. You had been laying there waiting for his arrival home, reading over your agenda and going over your lines in your pajamas under the covers. Petunia was sleeping soundly at the foot of your bed, unbothered by his usual antics. 

“You’re home late,” you mused, setting your pen down. “Everything okay, bub?” 

Luke moaned and groaned while kicking off his dress pants and replacing them with his more comfortable pair of sweatpants, eventually falling face down onto the bed. You giggled at his dramatics, your hand going to play through his blond curls. He relaxed at your touch as he reached for your hand and kissed it softly. 

“Do you think Harry is more handsome than me?” he asked, eyes peering up at yours. 

You raised your eyebrows curiously. “Do you want the answer of a 1D fan since high school or the answer of your loving girlfriend?” you joked. You and Luke both knew how deep your love for One Direction was as a teenager. He loved to tease you about your posters and t-shirts, not to mention the Harry Styles cardboard cutout you received as a birthday present one year.

Luke let out another grumble as he rolled onto his back. You scooted forward to rest his head on your lap. “Both,” he decided. 

You hummed, resuming your twirling of Luke’s hair. “Well as your girlfriend,” you began. “I think you are the most handsome man to ever walk this planet.” 

“And the 1D fan?” he begrudgingly asked.

You took your finger and softly traced along the bridge of his nose, trailing down to his jawline. “I think Harry Styles is very very handsome,” you answered. Watching Luke scrunch his nose in childish jealousy, you leaned in closer. “But I think the lead vocalist of the band that opened for One Direction was way better looking, sweeter, and all around so much better,” you whispered as though you were letting him in on a secret. 

Luke pushed you away, sighing loudly once again as you threw your head back in laughter. “That’s the girlfriend speaking!” he whined. 

“We’re one and the same, Lu,” you scolded playfully, reaching for your boyfriend. “Just because my seventeen year old self was too obsessed with Harry doesn’t mean I don’t love you and find you all the more attractive now.” 

Luke let out an unconvincing huff, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “What’s gotten into you, bub?” you asked, concern taking over your curiosity. 

“The interview was all about you and the movie today,” he responded, tucking himself into bed and taking his spot beside you, nestled warmly in your chest. 

You snorted, resting your hand back into his hair. Not only were his curls extremely soft at the touch and soothing to play with, you knew -while he would never admit it aloud- Luke loved when you played with his hair. “Didn’t realize I was a tough topic to talk about,” you jested. 

Luke rolled over so he was practically laying half of his body on yours. “Nooo,” he said, voice muffled by your shirt. “You know I love to talk about you, baby. It’s just I got a question about you and Harry being love interests.” 

You stiffened, clearly caught off guard. “Oh,” you could only muster out. 

The musician nodded, burying himself into your chest and wrapping his arms around your waist. “People can be so annoying sometimes,” he huffed in frustration. “Why would I care if my girlfriend is playing Harry Styles’ love interest? It’s not like it changes anything between us or between me and Harry.”

“It’s because people are misogynistic and gross,” you explained with an equally upset frown. “Just because I’m a woman in the film industry, they think I’m going to fling myself at any man I act with. It was the same for my last movie. I don’t understand why people are so quick to judge and point fingers.” 

Luke lifted his chin and cupped your cheek affectionately. “I’m so sorry this is what you have to deal with everyday,” he apologized. “It’s bullshit, and I’ve made it crystal clear that you should be respected and valued for your work, not who you kiss or whatever on the screens.” 

“You can always shut down the questions if they ask you,” you reminded him. “You don’t have to make yourself uncomfortable.”

Luke bit his lip in thought, a habit you found adorable and mesmerizing to watch. “But I’d rather answer these questions and stop the narrative about actresses and showmances. It’s not fair for you guys to be scrutinized about your love lives and image while male actors never get those kinds of questions.” 

Your lips trembled in awe of Luke’s small rant. You had never felt so loved and appreciated by the man like you did right now. He was ever a gentleman in a world of childish boys. “You know I love you, right?” you asked him with a tearful smile. 

Luke raised his thumb to the corner of your eyes to wipe away a stray tear. “It’s the bare minimum to support my girl,” he told you. “I love you, too, baby.”

Settling back down under the covers with your lover, you rested your head on top of his. “You don’t have to worry about me and Harry,” you reassured him. “It’s strictly business between us, and he’s aware of that.” 

“I’m not worried,” Luke said, his eyes fluttering closed. “Get some sleep, love. You got an early morning ahead of you.” 

–

The next morning, you woke up refreshed with your boyfriend still fast asleep beside you. You smiled to yourself, taking a mental image of the singer nestled beside you. His arm was snug around your waist and his nose was buried in your chest, a normal routine you’ve found the both of you falling into when he was home from tours. What you hated the most was ending said routine when you had to wake up before him for filming. 

You slowly removed his arm and slid out from under the sheets, trying to not wake him. Of course, ever the heavy sleeper, Luke remained asleep, taking one of your pillows as an adequate replacement for you. You quietly began your morning routine of brewing coffee for yourself, brushing your teeth, and styling your hair. Petunia followed behind you, being the momma’s girl she was. You let her go outside as you got started on preparing breakfast. Normally, you’d make breakfast and coffee for two but you were called for an earlier shoot, barely before sunrise, so Luke would no doubt be asleep for a while.

Finished with breakfast and giving Petunia her required pets and kisses, you went back upstairs to get dressed for the day. You thought you had been relatively quiet, but nonetheless the singer woke up to you, half dressed, on the other side of the room.

“What a sight for sore eyes,” his raspy voice praised.

You turned your head around as you slipped on a pair of pants, rolling your eyes at him. “You should be asleep,” you scolded lightly. 

“And you should still be in bed with me,” he reprimanded in the same tone. Luke lazily reached across the bed for you, only short by a few inches. 

“I have to be in for an early shoot,” you reminded him. “You know I’d be asleep right beside you if I had the choice.” 

Luke groaned, making you laugh as you ruffled his hair similar to how you’d pet Petunia. “Why can’t you call out?” he whined like a toddler. 

You kissed his forehead and set for the door. “If I did, I’d be out of a job,” you told him. “Then who would Harry kiss on camera?”

“Not funny!” Luke yelled out as you grabbed the rest of your things and left your home. 

“Love you!” you shouted back, closing the door behind you. 

Luke rolled over back to his side, grabbing his phone and absentmindedly scrolled through Twitter. He figured that since he was already awake, he might as well look through his notifications before formally getting up. 

On Twitter, he realized in the bottom of his screen that he received thousands of tagged mentions. Curious, he clicked on the icon to see multiple photos of you and Harry outside the studio. You two were snuggled under a blanket, far too close for his liking. The smile on your face was one Luke was familiar with because it was the look you always gave him. Jealousy burned in his chest before he realized it. 

outofstyles: harry styles and y/n l/n is a pair we didn’t ask for but ended up needing SEVERELY

stylesupdatesdaily: styles-l/n was NOT on my bingo card this year but i am here for it!!! #styles-l/n #wlbumovie

lukehemmingslipring: why are people shipping harry and y/n when she’s been dating luke since way before the SGFG era??? and why am i fucking with it???

y/nismother: @lukehemmingslipring don’t tell me they broke up because if they did love isn’t real :(

y/nismother: @youngblood__irwin SEND THE LINK PLEASE!!!!!

Luke frowned at the back and forth in the comments, as well as additional tweets he was tagged in regarding the Hemmings vs. Styles drama, a drama he didn’t even knew had begun. Frustration and envy brewed inside him despite his strong attempts to fight the urge. He had promised you he wouldn’t get jealous. Hell, he didn’t expect himself to feel this way. He knew you, of course. And he knew Harry very well. In his right mind, he knew there was nothing behind the photos nor your staged romance. But the damn photos and tweets and people raising the question of the stability of his relationship…anger was clouding his mind and he could barely think straight. 

–

By the time you got to set, you were rushed into hair and makeup. You were used to the fast paced nature of the studio and settled into your routine with ease. As your hair designers twisted and pulled your hair back to prep for your wig, you saw a familiar figure catch your eye. 

“Good morning, darlin’,” Harry greeted with a chaste kiss on your cheek. You snorted at his thick Southern accent he had been practicing all year long. While he had improved significantly, you found that his drastic change from a charming British lad to a cheeky Southern man was still too bizarre to get accustomed to.

“Hello, honey,” you said back in a Chicago accent, remembering to stay still for the dressers to apply your wig. The accent you portrayed was one that your character had, a sharp-tongued divorcee. “Didn’t expect you to come in on time.”

“Love, I’m always on time,” he chuckled, sitting beside you to allow the artists to work their magic. “You’re just cooped up in your trailer doing God knows what with that husband of yours.” 

You laughed, eyes shut as your dear friend and makeup artist Alisha applied eyeshadow. “Not my husband,” you corrected him. 

“Well you’ve been dating him long enough for him to might as well be,” he joked. “You seriously mean to tell me Hemmings hasn’t put a ring on your finger?” You nodded as much as you could, considering Alisha was very adamant on perfecting your concealer under your eyes. “Well, he’s got to get a move on before I make a move myself.”

The two of you laughed, knowing the banter was light and all jokes. “Careful now, sweetheart,” you said, reverting back to your Chicago accent. “Mr. Hemmings might get a little jealous.” 

“Can’t have that now, can we?” he drawled, back in his Southern accent. “But you make such a pretty little wife on screen, how can I resist?” 

“You tease!” you exclaimed, clutching your heart and remaining in character. “Mr. McClantire, you know I’m a faithful woman.” 

Finished with his makeup, Harry stood up and readjusted his suit jacket. “Mrs. Abernathy, a lady like you should be cherished,” he explained, taking your hand and brushing his lips against his lightly. “I’ll meet you on set.” 

You chuckled, taking your hand back to fix your hat your stylist had expertly pinned to your head. “I’ll see you then, Mr. McClantire.” 

Leaving you be, Harry left the dressing room and gently closed the door. Alisha clicked her tongue at the British singer turned actor, shaking her head. “Always a tease, isn’t he,” she hummed, applying hair spray liberally. “He better watch himself or the media will end up in a frenzy with his flirtatious attitude.” 

“He’s a sweetheart, I know he means no harm,” you defended him, sipping your tea serenely. “I do believe he’s been seeing someone though so I know there’s no weight to his words. But I do admit his habits are going to make Twitter go crazy. Luke has already gotten wind of some of the news and gossip.” 

Alisha rested her hand on her hip, lips pursed in thought. “Only a matter of time before he gets jealous,” she mused playfully. 

“He won’t,” you said back, not expecting Alisha’s warning.

“Oh honey,” she shook her head. “You know men, they’ll get jealous.” 

–

Luke looked at the TV through the mirror reflection in his dressing room as he adjusted his dress shirt’s sleeves. Nearly a while had passed since the finish of filming and it was a matter of days until the movie’s premiere. Your schedule consisted of plenty of interviews and promo events which resulted in more drama tabloids being released about you and Harry. A scowl rested on his

and Harry on the screen talking with the host of the show. You were animatedly telling a story while Harry’s arm rested behind you. Albeit casual, Luke couldn’t help but glare at the gesture. 

“If looks could kill, he’d be dead,” Ashton mused from behind the blond singer. 

Luke brushed off his comment, turning away from the vanity. “I just wish he’d keep his bloody hands off her,” he muttered enviously. 

Calum was distractedly scrolling through his phone on the couch, no doubt bored, waiting for their cue to get on stage. “And sit fifty miles away from her?” he suggested plainly, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “Mate, they’re friends, of course they’re going to sit beside each other.” 

“But with his arm around her?” Luke pressed impatiently, fighting the urge to run his fingers through his hair. You reminded him constantly before arriving at the studio to not touch his hair. You’d worked so hard to style and gel it while he focused on his makeup. The blond settled for crossing his arms on his chest and tapping his foot. 

“Yeah,” Michael agreed with Luke. “He should cut it off,” he joked, dodging Luke’s swat of his hand. 

Ashton patted Luke’s shoulder, setting him down on the couch. “Calm down, Luke,” he instructed. “Take some deep breaths or else you’ll pop a vein. I understand how annoying publicists have been with Harry and n/n, but you shouldn’t let them get to you.” 

“How can I when they talk about my girl?” Luke seethed, his composure rigid. “They talk about her like she’s a fame chaser, going after Harry for publicity even though she’s been practically an A-lister since she was a kid.” Luke shuffled in his seat, frown permanently on his face. 

“Then I hardly see how Harry’s got anything to do with it,” Calum raised an eyebrow. 

Luke stood up from the couch as quickly as he had sat down. “Because he’s–he’s–” Luke stumbled over his words. Finding no reasonable excuse, he angrily kicked his foot against the table only to yelp in pain, clutching his foot and jumping up and down. “That fucking pretty boy.” 

Michael sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You can’t really give into those gossip tablets, can you?” he genuinely asked. 

Luke paused, long enough for the boys to shake their heads in disappointment. “It’s the hair!” he lamely blamed, throwing his hands in the air. 

The boys’ conversation was interrupted by a set assistant, knocking on the door while opening it. “Five minutes till your performance,” the boy squeaked. 

Ashton was the one to speak up for the group. “Thanks, Roberto,” he said gratefully. The moment the boy left, Ashton turned to the boys. “We’re going to discuss this more later after the show. Luke, please be civil with Harry.” 

“Says the one who fucked his sis-”

“None of that now,” Ashton cut Michael off, not wanting to rehash his past. “Now let’s get on stage before they have our heads.” 

The boys made their way down to the set, hiding discreetly behind the curtains. A frenzy of assistants scurried by, ensuring that the boys had their instruments and everything was perfect before they got on stage. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, Five Seconds of Summer!” 

The stage manager nodded at the cue, ushering the boys through the entrance. Luke was the first to walk through, waving at the audience and smiling at fans screaming in the back. They got settled on the side stage, instruments in tow as they turned to the host of the night. 

“Thank you for having us, Jimmy,” Luke spoke into the mic, trying not to wince at the squealing girls in the crowd. His eyes were trained on you, who had stood up and clapped for the band as they came in. You were now seated, eyes sparkling in excitement. 

Jimmy Fallon leaned back in his chair. “We’re glad to have you, Luke,” he responded. “Hope the dressing room wasn’t too snug for your guys?”

“Oh no Jimmy, we quite enjoyed it,” Ashton answered from behind his kit. “Reminds me of the good old days when we’d share Luke’s bedroom to change before filming our performances on YouTube.” 

The crowd laughed at Ashton’s quip, Jimmy especially as he shook his head in laughter. “Good to hear,” he said. “And what do you guys have for us today?” 

Michael was next to take the lead. “Well initially we thought we were going to perform our song for What Lies Between Us,” he began, followed by more applause and cheering. “But we thought it would be better to leave that for the premiere.” 

“Correction: our publicist thought it would be better,” Calum joked, however there was no fabrication behind it; their publicist did think it would be best.

“So we decided to play a song from our album that’s yet to come out,” Michael finished. “Jimmy, this is “Bad Omens.”” 

The crowd loved the song as much as you did, finding that song to be one of your favorites of the album. Upon finishing the song, the boys set down their instruments for the backstage staff to collect and made their way to the couches. 

You and Harry stood up to greet each of them, Harry with a handshake and you with a kiss on the cheek. Luke took your hand, kissing you brightly on the lips before sitting down beside you. Jimmy made a cheeky face, teasingly looking at you and your boyfriend. The crowd chuckled at his behavior and you did the same while Luke kept his hand possessively on your knee.

“Well this is a new development,” Jimmy mused, folding his hands on top of his desk. 

You waved off his comment with an airy giggle. “Oh this?” you asked, gesturing between you and Luke. “Old as time.” 

“We’ve actually been together for what, a little over ten years now?” Luke explained, glancing over at you with a proud smile. He relished the feeling of the crowd clapping and whooping at your relationship. 

Jimmy whistled at Luke’s comment. “And no ring on the finger?” he pressed. “I mean, you’ve had to have thought about it before?” 

You nodded reassuringly. “Oh a million times,” you responded. “But God knows that when you deal with one of these boys, you have to deal with all of them.” You jabbed your thumb at the three boys to the left of you, shoving their lanky arms against each other as they tried to get comfortable on their seats. Luke cleared his throat to get their attention, the boys flushed in the face as they quit their quarreling. “I’ve known them since they went on tour with One Direction and we finally ended up dating afterwards. But now, I’m ready to get married and settle down. I’m just waiting on Hemmings, here.” 

Luke chuckled at your last comment, seemingly taking them lightly. You furrowed your eyebrows at his reaction, but decided not to act upon it. “She’s very much so anticipating that question, Jimmy,” he confessed. “It’s only a matter of time, but I’m in no hurry. This one, however…” he trailed off, grinning at you.

“A girl has dreams,” you defended yourself. 

Jimmy snapped his fingers at your words, a thought coming back to him. “Yes, you certainly do!” he exclaimed, reaching under his desk for a frame as he changed the subject. Confusion and hurt brewed inside you, but you quickly pushed those feelings down. “y/n, you’re not a stranger to dreams, right?”

“Oh, definitely not,” you agreed with a dubious expression on your face. 

“So I hope you don’t mind when I show a little memento from the past your mother sent over.”

“Oh God,” you groaned, turning to hide your face in Luke’s shoulder. “What did she send over now? I told you to lose her number, Jimmy.” 

Jimmy raised his hands up in surrender. “She makes a great lunch partner,” he defended himself. “y/m/n, if you’re watching tonight, we’re still on for Tuesday?” You rolled your eyes as Harry threw his head back in laughter. “Joking, joking, not really, but-” 

“Jimmy,” you said in a warning tone. 

“Alright, alright,” he relented. “Anyways, your mother found a letter you wrote back when you were in middle school to the tooth fairy-”

Michael choked on his own saliva, jerking forward. “n/n, you still believed in the tooth fairy when you were in middle school-”

“I don’t want to hear it, Clifford,” you clipped back through your teeth as you smiled rigidly. You still had one last baby tooth in at the time, you still had your hopes out for the mythical creature.

Jimmy raised his hand to cut off the side chatter as he read from the framed letter. “And you, at age thirteen, had one dream that you wished the tooth fairy would grant you.” 

“Dear Tooth Fairy,” he read aloud as you crumbled in embarrassment. “I have finally lost my last tooth, so I guess this will be the last letter I can send you.”

“Aww,” the boys gushed in unison, causing you to shoot them an icy glare. 

“To end this amazing tooth filled saga, I have one last wish. You see, it’s been my dream to meet One Direction.” 

“Jimmy!” you screamed, covering your face in humiliation as the memories started to flood in. Luke covered you in his arms as you folded over yourself, laughing along but equally curious about what was in the letter.

Jimmy, nonetheless, continued reading. “And I have a favorite singer in the band. If you could pull some strings and make Harry Styles my boyfriend, I swear to you I’ll write a letter to you everyday -even though I have no more teeth to give you- and will solemnly swear to be your best friend forever. Let him be my boyfriend, pleaseeeeee.” The audience let out a boisterous laughter as Jimmy emphasized your silly, childish writing. “Love, y/n.” 

More clapping filled your ears as you raised your head to face Jimmy. In the corner of your eye, you saw Harry resting casually beside you, facing you as he leaned against the couch. 

“I’m flattered,” Harry told you, an amused smile resting on his lips.

You pressed your lips in a straight line. “Thanks, Har,” you deadpanned. 

He patted your shoulder in a friendly manner. “No, it’s real sweet,” he reassured you. “Truly, cute, even.” 

“That’s not all we have,” Jimmy spoke up as he put away your framed letter. He waved off your groans and complaints. “It’s not bad, not bad. I’m sure you all remember the Golden Globes back in 2012 when y/n made her first appearance in the hit TV show, The Last Elites of Cardenia.” 

The crowd cheered as a photo of you as a child appeared on the screen. It was a shot of you in the show, dressed up in your furs and pearls as per your character, Cecilia. The next photo was of you on the red carpet with your show family. Your braces were highly visible in your smile, making you wince at the rough photo. 

“I loved that show,” Ashton sighed, full of nostalgia. “Cal, Michael, and I would binge that show every night after concerts.” 

“You didn’t watch it, Luke?” Jimmy asked curiously.

Luke sheepishly shook his head. “No, I didn’t,” he answered honestly. 

“I’m offended, babe,” you teased, your hand over your heart in mock offense.

Michael snorted. “It’s not like he didn’t like the show,” he told you. “He just could barely follow the storyline whenever you popped up on screen.” 

The boys gave Luke playful punches as he blushed. “I-I couldn’t help it!” he exclaimed. “You were just so cute on screen, you were my celebrity crush for the longest time. I mean you were a right entitled bitch in the show but meeting you in real life, I just was-“

“So down bad,” Ashton finished for him. Luke was about to correct him but you were quick to cut him off. 

“Baby,” you cooed, pinching his cheek. 

Jimmy laughed along with the conversation, pointing towards the screen as he spoke. “Speaking of celebrity crushes,” he continued. “We have this old footage of you on the red carpet answering some questions.” 

The day was bright as you appeared on the screen. A youthful innocence covered your entire self, from the way you gathered yourself to your voice. A woman was behind the camera, only her hand holding the microphone could be seen.

“And who might you be?” the woman asked you. 

You smiled brightly. “I’m y/n!” you chirped. “y/n l/n but most people know me as Cecilia from The Last Elites of Cardenia.”

“Nice to meet you, y/n, I’m Mei,” the woman greeted, shaking your hand. “This is your first time here at the Golden Globes, how are you feeling?” 

“Oh, I’m sooo excited, Mei,” you answered honestly and giddily. You could hardly stand still. “My mom picked my outfit today so I’m feeling very confident and pretty!”

“And who do you want to see most today?” 

You cocked your head in thought. “Harry Styles!” you exclaimed. “I heard One Direction’s going to be at the after party, so I really hope to see him. He’s my biggest celebrity crush,” you gushed unabashedly.

The clip ended and everyone turned to you, where you were frozen and wide-eyed.

“Where the hell do you find this stuff, Jimmy,” you sighed, face palming annoyedly. 

“Oh, the vault, you know,” Jimmy responded cheekily. “But that leaves us wondering how you feel now, starring alongside your celebrity crush in the film “What Lies Between Us?”” 

You tapped your chin. Harry glanced over at you. “Be honest, darling,” he reminded you in a sing-songy voice. 

“Well I can definitely say that my teenage self is absolutely losing her mind,” you answered. “It’s something out of a dream, if you think about it. I mean, I never knew I’d come far enough to star in a highly anticipated movie, nevertheless star alongside Harry. It’s a blessing, surely, but now, I think that fangirl side of me has been laid to rest.” 

Jimmy turned to your boyfriend. “And what do you think, Luke?” 

The musician gave the host a close lipped smile. “Whatever makes n/n happy,” he settled brusquely.

Jimmy, satisfied with his response, began asking questions for the other boys about touring and their music. You whipped your head around and raised an eyebrow at Luke for his short response, but Luke didn’t make eye contact with you. Concerned, you reached for his hand on his knee but he pulled back, folding his hands together. Never had you felt more confused and isolated than you did at that moment. You used to be able to read his mind, but now it felt like he’d closed his mind in walls you couldn’t seem to get past. 

–

“What was that about?” you demanded, following closely behind Luke as you walked into your shared home. 

After that awkward end to the show with Jimmy Fallon, you, Harry, and the boys went out to dinner. You thought that moment with Luke was just a one-off thing, but he remained in his rigid composure for the rest of the night. The boys would talk boisterously throughout the dinner, sharing stories of the past tours with One Direction and catching up on life afterwards. But Luke was the only one who remained silent, opting to focus on his glass of red wine he never seemed to finish. You made attempts to speak to Luke, nudging him or trying to meet his eyes from across the table but he refused to look up the entire time. Frustrated, you let it be but it was clear you were upset to the rest of the table. Harry had even pulled you aside after you all paid for your meals, asking if things were alright and if he had overstepped at all. You reassured him he did nothing wrong, it was Luke who was being childish at the moment.

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he brushed you off, heading upstairs to your bedroom. He removed his suit jacket and started unbuttoning his dress shirt nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t done anything wrong or pissed you off. 

You entered the bedroom, heels kicked off as you crossed your arms on your chest. “Let me refresh your mind,” you spat. “You’ve been nothing but rotten towards Harry and I tonight. What’s gotten into you? I thought you said you wouldn’t get jealous-”

“And I’m not,” Luke fought back. “God, you can be so conceited sometimes, y/n.” 

“So that’s what it is?” you snapped back. “I’m just being self-centered and your head isn’t stuck up your ass?” 

Luke aggressively pulled his sleeves up, leaving half of his buttons undone while placing his hands on his hips. “Yes, it would appear so,” he answered shortly. “You’re overthinking what’s going on, y/n, I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Do not gaslight me, Luke Hemmings,” you ordered, walking up to him to stand chest to chest. “I know your mother taught you enough for you to know that is not the way to go when arguing with me.” Luke huffed, giving in on that one statement because you were right; he did know better.

“Fine,” he muttered. “I am upset. And I have every reason to. I don’t like how close you and Harry have gotten, okay?”

Your jaw dropped in utter shock. “You mean my coworker?” you clarified sarcastically. “I’d hope I’d be close with him considering we’re playing lovers in the damn movie-” 

“There you go again!” Luke’s voice boomed across the room, throwing his hands in the air. “You and Harry being lovers. Sometimes I’m led to believe it’s more than for the movie with the photos I’ve seen and the mere way you act with him.” 

“Luke, I have no idea what to tell you,” you fumed. “We are acting. I have no romantic feelings for him and he has none for me. He’s seeing someone, for crying out loud! I thought you had enough trust in me to know nothing is going on between me and him.” 

“I do trust you,” he argued. “But you couldn’t possibly look me dead in the eye and tell me you didn’t have romantic feelings at all during filming. You have been crushing on him for far too long for that to just go away.” 

You hesitated, your face burning with frustration and humiliation. You hated to admit there was some truth to his statement. “I-I,” you stumbled over your words.

Luke’s nostrils flared as he glared at you, proving his point exactly. You threw your hands in the air. “He was a celebrity crush from when I was a teenager, Luke!” you shouted exasperatedly. “I had a little crush, that was it! And maybe it resurfaced a little at the beginning but I swear to you I don’t have those feelings anymore. It was a childish crush, Luke, you’ve got to believe me when I say that. I love you.” 

Tears lined both of your eyes as you went to reach for his hand. Your thumb grazed his ring, the one you bought for him for your first anniversary. “I really don’t know,” Luke whispered, slowly pulling his hand away.

Your heart shattered at his words, falling to the ground you stood on. You had dedicated ten years of your life to this man, ten of the best years of your life to him. You grew up with him, made the best and worst mistakes of your lives, and survived all of that together. He was your person, your lover, your one being that you’d lay down your life for. Yet, the moment your relationship is tested, he falters. But you couldn’t blame him. One little crush resurfacing, and that managed to wipe out everything you ever created for yourself over the past decade.

You took a deep breath, fighting the urge to fall over and sob on the ground. Your hands opened and closed into fists as you took a step back. “Fine,” you said, shaky and uncertain. Luke almost caved at your voice, the mere way you spoke. You had always carried yourself with dignity and confidence. He was the one who stripped you of that, and you were just a shell of who you once were. 

“I think I’m going to spend the night at Crys’s,” you told him, walking over to your closet and pulling out a bag. “It’s clear we both need space and time apart.” 

Luke shook his head, taking your wrist. “Don’t do that,” he said. “Your premiere is in two days, you’re going to be worn out and exhausted if you don’t sleep right. I’ll head over to Cal’s and you can stay here.” 

Taking back your wrist, you continued to pack your things. “It’s your house, Luke,” you reminded him. “Don’t worry, I’ll be okay spending the night with Crys and Michael.” 

“Don’t bother them,” Luke insisted. “They’ve been busy building the nursery for when they plan on trying for a baby and-” 

You winced at his words. He didn’t understand how much he hurt you with them, where he was only looking out for their sake and not yours. Realizing the deeper meaning behind his words, Luke tried to correct himself when you just raised your hand to stop him. He had said enough for the night, and so had you. 

“I’ll find a hotel,” you finally decided. Luke was silent, heart aching and yearning for you, but too frozen to speak up and do anything about it. Finished packing, you zipped up your bag and turned back to him. “Goodnight, Lukey,” you said, kissing him on the cheek before leaving the house entirely. 

Driving down the streets of L.A. you managed to find a small hotel on the side of the road that looked safe enough to spend the night. Carrying your bag, you pathetically entered the hotel in your dress from the late night show and a pair of flat shoes you slipped on before leaving. Your hair was no doubt a mess, no longer styled to perfection as Alisha once had it. Your mascara was probably running down your face, too. God, you looked like a mess in front of this poor worker. 

The boy lifted his eyes to meet yours, slowly recognizing who you were but deciding to not speak on it. You looked like you had gone through enough tonight. “Room for one?” he asked you. You wordlessly nodded, rummaging through your bag to find your wallet for ID and your card. Handing them to the worker, you kept your gaze on your bag. In the process, you found your phone and checked your notifications. 

Lukey &lt;;3: please let me know when you arrive safely

You: im here now

Lukey &lt;;3: okay, love. use the card i gave you to pay for your room

You: no, it’s fine.

You left the conversation at that, not caring if it were dry. You were exhausted and didn’t want to fight with him anymore. You had no more fight in you to give him. 

The boy behind the desk handed you back your things along with your key card for the night. “Let me know if you need anything at all to improve your stay,” he told you politely. 

You fought the urge to scoff at the boy. Like you could do anything to improve your stay, tonight was hell as it is. But you reminded yourself it wasn’t his fault you were arguing with the love of your life; it was yours. Thanking him quietly, you made your way to your room and tossed your bag on the foot of your bed, tucking yourself in next, still in your evening wear. You didn’t care if you’d ruin your dress or damage your face from leaving your makeup on overnight. It was too much for you to deal with right now. 

Lukey &lt;;3: goodnight, y/n

read 2:43 am

–

The next two days were utter torture for Luke. He kept contact with you through it all, ensuring that you had eaten, slept, etc. but that was all you’d tell him. Luke couldn’t decide whether or not he was grateful for your shortness with your words, if it would make him cave and go to you and forget everything or make him more upset. He was grateful he had your location still on his phone, and you had his. At least he could check on you and make sure you were alright and not in any trouble. 

Luke was also guilty of checking if you had gone to Harry’s house. Guilt and upset rumbled in his stomach, as he felt like he crossed a boundary and invaded your privacy. But how could he not be curious about your whereabouts when you had confessed to him you still had some feelings toward Harry? It didn’t matter that you said those feelings came and went. What would happen if you tied the knot and you changed your mind about him? 

Luke had trusted you with his life. He took your word as true most of the time, but now he was unsure. He wasn’t sure where he lied with you now. He loved you still, yes, and he’d still sacrifice his own happiness for you. Perhaps he blew things over proportion between the two of you. You swore you still loved him and no longer felt anything for Harry. But why did Luke still feel something wrong in his chest? 

He still had mixed feelings about your argument on the night of your premiere. Luke was in Ashton’s living room, quietly sipping on a beer as he waited for the rest of the band and their significant others to meet them there to travel to the theater together. 

Ashton slipped on his jacket, entering the room and looking over at his friend. “y/n not joining us tonight, mate?” he asked. He knew what had happened those nights ago. He was the first person Luke called the moment you left, staying on the phone with him until five in the morning. You had even called him later that day to ask for his advice. He was grateful you both thought of him as an older brother figure, and he wanted nothing more than to get you both together to talk through it. 

Luke set his bottle down, not wanting to get drunk on your important night. “No,” he replied with a heaved sigh. “She texted me that she’ll get there on her own because Alisha wanted to do her hair and makeup.”

Ashton sat down beside him, patting his back. “That’s good she’s still talking to you, right?” he brought up, trying to look on the bright side. 

“Only because I made her swear to keep me updated,” he grumbled. “If it weren’t for that, I think she’d block my number.”

“Now that’s not true,” Ashton told him seriously. 

Luke shrugged his shoulders. “I practically told her I didn’t trust her anymore,” he said, ashamed of himself. “But it’s fair, isn’t it? I knew in my stomach that there was something going on between her and Harry.”

“But there wasn’t,” Ashton reminded him. “She said her feelings toward Harry resurfaced, but she didn’t act on them in any way.”

“But what if one day she wakes up and realizes she can do so much better than me?” Luke asked, voice cracking. He didn’t want to think about that, but that’s all his mind would conjure. “Then she’ll leave me for him and I’ll be the idiot that was strung along the whole time.” 

Ashton leaned back on his sofa. “I think you owe y/n more credit than that,” he said. “She loves you, she said so herself. And if she really wanted Harry, she wouldn’t have fought for you like she did.”

“You’re right,” Luke supposed. “I just feel so guilty now.”

“You can talk to her after the premiere,” Ashton settled. “Trust me, she wants to talk to you, too.”

The two were interrupted by Ashton’s door swinging open to reveal the remaining boys and their significant others. Ready to go, Ashton and Luke joined them outside to hop into Michael’s car. 

Luke got settled in the back seat, reaching for his seat belt when Crystal turned around to face him. “How are you holding up, bub?” she asked, a comforting smile on her face.

He grimaced but tilted his head in response. “Definitely could be better,” he said earnestly. “But Ash helped me through it.”

Crystal reached behind her to pat his knee soothingly. “I’m glad,” she said. “y/n’s the same. I stopped by her hotel this morning to catch up on things.”

“And she’s okay?” Luke leaned in, interested in learning anything about your whereabouts and how you’re doing. 

Crystal put on the same expression as Luke. “About the same as you,” she responded. “But don’t worry, everything will work out in the end.” 

Luke braved a smile. “I hope so.”

—

The carpet leading up to the theater was packed with reporters and photographers trying to get a glimpse of the actors featured in the film. The band was far behind, stuck in the traffic of people stopping them to ask a few questions. 

“Boys!” a man called out. “Over here! I’m here with Vanity Fair.”

The boys shared a glance and went up to the man. “My name is Aamir and I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about tonight.”

Michael stood in the front, taking Aamir’s extra microphone. “Let’s hear them!”

“This is the first time your music is being featured in a movie as big as this,” Aamir stated. “How are you all feeling?”

Calum drew in a breath, deciding to take this question. “I mean, how can we feel?” he responded. “It’s a mix of feelings, I can tell you that. I think on behalf of the band, we’re all just really nervous but excited to put out this music for the film. It’s really different from our typical kind of music, but we hope you all love it the same.” 

“I’m sure we’ll all love what you have in store for us,” Aamir said confidently. “Luke, how are you feeling tonight? It’s a big moment for your girlfriend, y/n l/n, as this is her first lead role in a highly anticipated movie. Can you give us an insight on how y/n is feeling and how you both prepared for tonight?”

Luke tried to not let his rigidity and awkwardness show on camera. There was enough dubious press about the two of you after that show with Jimmy Fallon. “I’m sure she’s over the moon about tonight,” he answered, eyes flickering to the camera. “She’s been so excited for this moment and all her hard work has come down to tonight.”

“And how have you prepared together?” Aamir repeated his second question with curiosity as to why Luke didn’t answer in the first place.

Luke bit his lip, trying to answer without showing he was completely unsure. “Well-“

Cheers erupted from the crowd as a limo approached the carpet. Luke thanked God for that distraction because everyone -including himself- turned to see what the commotion was about. 

You stepped outside of the car, dressed in a long white gown that resembled a wedding dress. Luke could only describe you as ethereal as you shyly waved to the photographers and interviewers. He’d never seen you so shy in public, since you’d been in front of the cameras since you were a child. Your eyes were trained on the ground, a shaky smile on your face that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

Reporters shouted at you, desperate to get a word or two with you. Dazed by the flashing lights and loud noises, you took a step forward to where the people were blocked by a gate. In your nervous stature, you began to tremble, hands reaching out for stability but struggling to do so. Your ankle gave way, causing you to fall to the ground. People shouted and “ooh’ed” but no one ran in to help you. 

Rushing forward, Luke ran over to you and wrapped his arm securely around your waist as he guided you back up. You gasped, looking up at your savior and realizing who it was. His name was on your lips but no sound could come out; you were too shocked to say anything since you hadn’t formally spoken to him in days.

Luke gave you a reassuring smile, eyes glancing down at your lips to silently ask for permission to kiss you. You nodded, allowing him to cup the side of your face to kiss you softly. The moment your lips met his, you felt yourself get regrounded. Knowing he was by your side, you felt like yourself again: more confident. 

The press ate up yours and Luke’s stunt, taking photos left and right of the two of you. You pulled away, your hand on his chest and feeling his heart beat quickly. “Thank you,” you whispered. Luke gave you a small nod but remained silent as he led you to the reporters. 

A young woman caught your attention, pointing her microphone in your direction. “Are you alright, y/n?” she asked you, camera pointed at you. “I’m Irina with TMZ. We’re happy to see you tonight!”

Nerves began to creep in as you drew a blank at her question. Luke’s hand squeezed your hip comfortingly, providing you with the stability and strength you needed to get through the event. Nodding to yourself, you opened your mouth to answer. 

“I’m doing great, thank you,” you answered. “Just some first premiere nerves but they never killed anyone! I’m just really grateful Luke was here to save me from that little trip there.” 

Irina pointed her microphone at Luke, who was taken aback but spoke nonetheless. “Anything for my girl,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s her big night and I’m her biggest supporter. She’s my rock for concerts, I’m her rock for premieres. We have each other’s backs.”

Your eyes were stuck on Luke, mesmerized by his face and how his eyelids glistened in the light from his eyeshadow, no doubt from the palette you gifted him on his birthday last year. The corners of your lips quirked upwards, a warm and fuzzy feeling growing in your chest as you looked up at him with pride and love. You almost didn’t hear the interviewer’s final question. 

“y/n, it’s been all over social media how you had a long standing crush on your co-lead, Harry Styles,” Irina stated. You felt Luke’s hand tighten around your hip without him realizing, no doubt irritated by that question. “How did it feel to kiss him and perform in intimate scenes with him?” 

As you opened your mouth to respond, Luke cut in. “Respectfully,” he began. “I think y/n’s work goes far beyond who she kissed or who she did what with. She’s been in the film industry for as long as I can remember, and definitely deserves more questions that dive deeper than who she harbors romantic feelings for.” 

The interviewer’s face flushed in embarrassment. “Of course,” she agreed, rushing to apologize. You simply waved her off, politely excusing both yourself and Luke out of the conversation with grace. 

Luke remained by your side as you made your way through the reporters and photographers, staying silent unless asked a question. You thought he wouldn’t look at you from the way his eyes never met yours -except for when he kissed you, of course- but in fact, he had stared at you the entire time you spoke. Nothing but adoration filled his mind when he listened to you speak about the work you worked so hard to make. It made all of your past problems fade to gray, and he nearly forgot about your whole argument. 

Once you entered the theater, you expected Luke to pull away to find the boys but he didn’t. You stopped in your tracks to turn to him. “You can go back to the boys now,” you whispered gently to him.

Luke was taken by surprise at your words, and hurt flashed across his face. “Do you want me to go?” he asked you.

You were quick to shake your head. “No!” you rushed. “I just thought…you know, it’s your big day, too. I figured you’d want to spend it with them.”

The blond took your hands in his and kissed them softly. “I want to be by your side through it all,” he assured you. “I haven’t seen you in days, and I don’t want a petty fight to get between us and celebrating your greatest achievement.”

Your publicity manager approached you, checking her watch every second or so anxiously. “The movie’s about to start,” she reminded you hurriedly. 

You were about to tell her to give you both a few minutes, but Luke stopped you. “We can talk more later, okay?” he said. You agreed wordlessly, leaning in to give him a quick peck on the lips. 

“Let’s go in together, babe,” you decided. Luke resumed his position beside you, entering the theater together proudly to watch the film the both of you dedicated so much time and effort into. And as Luke took your hand while you both sat in your seats, you knew that everything would be okay in the end. 

–

Once the movie had ended, Harry invited you and the boys to his home for the afterparty but you politely declined, opting to spend the rest of the night with your beloved boyfriend. 

Now, you and Luke took a walk around the finally quieted city, hand in hand. You were grateful you brought another pair of shoes with you because your heels were killing you, and you were more thankful for Luke who insisted on holding your strappy heels for you as you continued your walk. 

“I really can’t thank you enough for saving my neck there on the carpet,” you said in a slightly teasing tone. “I would have actually melted into the floor if you didn’t come to my aid.”

“I meant what I said when I said I always had your back, y/n,” Luke replied, eyes trained on the sidewalk. 

A pregnant silence followed as you made your way through the city, taking in the lights and cool summer air without any fear of paparazzi following close behind you. You found yourself nervously playing with the rings on Luke’s fingers as you tried to find the right words to say.

“I’m sorry for that night,” you began, avoiding his questioned gaze. “I should have been more open to you about how I felt from the beginning, but I really do promise that I don’t have any feelings for him. Not anymore, at least. It was a teenage dream come true, but…”

Luke raised an eyebrow at you. “But?” he pressed gently.

You stopped walking, turning to cup his cheek affectionately. “But that’s not my dream anymore,” you finished. “My dream is to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. Whether or not you decide to marry me, I want you in my life for all the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m really sorry for ever making you doubt my love for you, and I’m sorry for not being receptive to your doubts and insecurities.” 

“What makes you think I don’t wanna marry you?” he asked you. “Of course I do. I want to see you walk down that aisle with a dress as giant or as small as you want, as long as you become Mrs. Hemmings at the end of it. Or if you don’t want to take my last name, that’s fine, too. I don’t care if you want a big or small wedding or a wedding at all. If you want to take that oath in the townhouse and officially be mine -and I, yours- I’m perfectly okay with that, too.” 

You bit your lip, trying to fight back your tears. “I was just nervous,” you confessed. “I knew you were upset by those questions about me and Harry, but I was upset, too. I just never told you how upset I was.” A stray tear trickled down your face but you stubbornly wiped it away, not wanting to cry. “We’ve been together for ten wonderful years, and all people would ask me is “when are you getting married?” “when is he going to propose?” And at first, I was fine with it. But the more people asked, the more anxious I was about the stability of our relationship.”

When Luke’s face gave away he wasn’t exactly following what you meant, you continued to explain further. “I’ve read so many tweets and articles about how undesirable I am, from the moment I turned sixteen. And the fact that you kept pushing off the idea of us getting married,” you looked away, embarrassed by your reaction to all of this. “It hurts, Lukey. And I know marriage isn’t a thing to rush into and I don’t want to force you into anything you don’t want, but those drama tabloids just make me feel so insecure.” 

“I didn’t know you felt that way,” Luke frowned, pity settling in, but you waved your hand to brush it off.

“It’s stupid,” you decided, wiping away the extra tears that managed to escape. “I’ve always told you not to give into the press and social media, yet here I am doing that very thing. L-let’s focus on you, Luke.”

“We can talk about my stupid jealousy another time,” Luke fought to stay on topic. “y/n, why didn’t you tell me you were feeling like this? If I had known, I would have said something-”

“But that’s not how proposals work, Lukey!” you exclaimed. “It’s not something you do out of pity. It’s a decision you make when you’re sure and you’re not! That’s okay, I don’t want you to make a decision you’ll only end up regretting just to please me in the present.” 

Luke took your hand in his, forcing you to look up at him. “Why do you think I’d ever regret marrying you?” he questioned. “y/n, you’re the love of my life. You’re definitely not my first girlfriend but I intend for you to be my last. You’re it for me, n/n. I do want to marry you and I intended to propose, I just wanted to find the right time and place for it. As for my behavior the past few months,” he sighed. “It wasn’t right of me to villainize you and Harry. You’re friends and coworkers, of course you’re going to get close. And I knew that the press would twist the narrative to make it seem like you guys were more than friends. I should have felt secure enough in our relationship to trust you completely, but I was also too insecure to let that be. 

“Harry’s great. He’s talented, a better singer than I’ll ever be, and kind hearted. I’ve always felt like I was in his shadow, and seeing him with you made me feel self-conscious all over again. And all those news posts about him being your celebrity crush as a child made me angrier. I know it’s not something I should have blamed you for, I was just so jealous I could barely think straight.” 

Luke stepped closer to you, his breath grazing your face. “I’m sorry for being jealous and ever doubting you,” he said honestly. “I should have trusted you when you said you no longer felt anything for him.”

“I’m sorry for brushing you off and not listening,” you said in response. “I promise you, Luke, you’re it for me, too.” 

Luke choked back a laugh of disbelief, grateful for this whole ordeal getting resolved as he bent down to kiss you deeply. Your hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him in closer to finally taste him, smell him, feel him again. 

Once you pulled back for air, you crinkled your nose as you smiled. “Does this mean we’re engaged?” you asked curiously, eyes sparkling with happiness and love. “You know, since we’re in agreement and everything.” 

“I would have preferred to get down on one knee and that whole spiel,” Luke sighed dramatically. “But yes, I do suppose we are engaged.” 

Grinning, you pulled him back down for another kiss. “We can get to that sappy stuff later,” you insisted. “I just want to spend the rest of my night with my husband-to-be.” 

--

thank you so much for reading! please like and reblog if you enjoyed! <3

[shrenvents]

Miracle Aligner

Alex Turner Series

Series Masterlist

Summary: Who knew Alex Turner, frontman to one of the greatest bands of this generation had the worst luck in love. As a romantic who's quite familiar with heartbreak, Turner's grown sick of looking for a spark that will eventually burn him. So, while visiting a local pub, how was he supposed to know that a drunken Tuesday night, would change his sombre tune forever?

Inspired by the album Everything You've Come To Expect. Mature content (sexual acts, language) Original character.

Chapter one:

Aviation

Toronto, November 15, 2015

5:57 pm

Alex's POV

"That's enough Turner!" Zach yells over the various clamouring instruments. "You've been working on these songs for weeks and this was the best you got mate?" Jaime continues with a snort. "Yeah?" I huff, rolling my eyes. Jaime and Zach exchange a knowing look before Zach pipes up again, "You know what Al,? Why don't you call it a night, maybe go out, meet a few girls, have fun." He then glances to my right. "Miles you stay and finish your set."

"What's this?" I jest, bewildered by my bandmates.

"Sorry Al, the songs you've been writing these days just aren't the Shadow Puppets brand," Jaime trails off, looking more empathetic than his counterpart. My brows crease further into my eyelids and I dully unclasp the guitar strap from my shoulder. "My songs don't fit the 'brand' of my band?" I glare at them in disbelief as the two share another look.

"Sorry Al, but your material has been all doom and gloom these days." Miles now exclaims while avoiding my troubled expression. He pauses before continuing. "Your greatest hits are love songs, passionate shite." Miles's eyes then connect with my own, and I finally understand what he's implying. "It's been a while mate." His last statement was the final blow.

That's right, I haven't been with anyone for months, romantically, physically, and everybody knows it. These days I just find romance to be tiresome. Even a shag doesn't seem to excite me much anymore. I've simply gone mad, that's what it is.

Though they seem to have me all figured out, I refuse to give in to their remarks. "You lot have lost it. I'll come back when you've come to your senses!" I bark out while snatching up my guitar and jacket. The boy's faint snickers fill the room as I take off towards the door. "Aw c'mon, Al!" Jaime carries out, stifling his laughter. I slam the door behind me with unnecessary force, utterly infuriated.

Instantly after leaving the studio, I feel the blistering Canadian winter encase my narrow frame. "Bugger," I snit before whipping out my phone, in hopes an Uber would usher me away from this frost. To my dismay, because of the excessive snowfall, transport was either delayed or unavailable, and I had no interest in sticking around roadside. So, I switched to searching for a local pub, racing out of the cold.

...

After a numbing 10-minute journey, I reached a pub called Les Cactus and ripped open its wooden entrance, embracing its heat. Whilst I take a seat on the nearest bar stool, a flash of red catches the corner of my eyes. A waitress with her back turned serves drinks to a group of men who gawk at her with an unreserved fancy. Momentarily, I admire her long, fiery hair that flows down her fit backside. Fortunately, the incoming bartender removes me from my fairly pervy thoughts. "What can I get for ya buddy?" The bartender ranks down my features, odd excitement filling his own. "You got any Bulleit?" He smirks.

"Sure thing." He spins away from me, before quickly rotating back and whispering for my ears only, "Big fan by the way." I smile politely with a nod as he disappears into the bar to prepare my drink. My gaze returns to the space where the redhead once stood, which is now vacant. "Here ya go. Let me know if you need anything else!" The bartender ponders shortly before speaking, "My name's Mickey by the way." He places my bourbon down with an oddly suggestive wink.

8:24 pm

"Maybe consider spacing out your next drink Alex. I get you're a millionaire and money ain't a thing," Mickey bobs his head, taking note of appearance, "but you're kinda overdoing it buddy," he finishes. I scoff at his smirk and slap a bill on the countertop. "Another." My face and tone drop in an attempt to be taken seriously, but my drunken command doesn't detour Mickey's delight.

"You're the boss."

"Uh-uh, that's at least his sixth drink this hour M." An unfamiliar feminine voice pitches in. It's husky and demanding, and so, I intend to listen. Curiously turning to look, my vision is consumed by that recognizable carrot-like head. If I was captivated before seeing her face, I was surely a goner now.

Mickey ceases his actions while she stares between us with scrutiny. I'm gobsmacked and she clearly takes my silence as a sort of confirmation. "Right, no more for him. Okay M?" Mickey nods sternly, face falling moderately as her tone leaves no room for opposition. "Alex!" I practically cry out before Red gets the chance to leave. Smooth Turner.

"Excuse me?"

"I-uh, name's Alexander..." Yeah, very smooth.

"Jennie." She states curtly, evidently bemused. She then moves swiftly on her heel towards the kitchen. Straight away I grimace, pulling a hand to my forehead, rubbing its lines harshly. "Not a word." Mickey chuckles quietly and goes back to his work.

9:41 pm

"Still here, Alexander?" My head shoots up, startled by Red. When did I even fall asleep-

"Yes?" She snorts at my jumbled reply.

"Want me to call you a cab? A shrink perhaps?"

"M' sorry?" I question clumsily.

"Oh? I just thought you may need one, after hearing what you told to Mickey." Her sultry voice echoes out her rather devious grin. "God." My eyes widen in horror which aids her impending elation. "What have I said?"

"Nothing really, just that..." She starts counting her digits absentmindedly. "You've got no luck writing your music, no love life. Oh, and you have no sex life!" She proclaims the last part with glee. Jesus, please end this nightmare.

"I did not."

"Did too."

"I've had too much drink."

"Drunken words are sober thoughts." Jennie carries on smiling at my trepidation. Maybe I'd find her charming if her jokes weren't at my expense. "That's it, I'm not tipping." I declare pathetically. Her devilish smirk doesn't falter. "Seriously? Things can't be that bad! Mickey tells me you're actually a successful musician."

"That you've obviously never heard of." I roll my eyes at the absurdity of our conversation. She laughs aloud at my response, which I admit, brought a genuine smile to my face. It really has been a while. Her face then goes blank. "Alexander."

"Alex."

"Alex. You're young." She pauses, her gaze sweeps my shaggy appearance. "Ish"

"Ouch." I flinch jokingly, earning myself another gorgeous laugh and playful swat.

"Hey! And you're good-looking."

"Ish." I interrupt again with a chuckle and her smile grows.

"No!" She more or less shouts, "You have a lot to work with, trust me." Her hands gesture nimbly. "The only thing standing in the way of you getting laid is yourself." A surprise roar of laughter leaves my lips shortly and I shake my head in disbelief.

"You're selling yourself short here Alexander," Red concludes. "Alex-"

"You're wasting your youth-ish," she interrupts me once again and a sliver of silence washes over us. It's as if we're the only ones in this packed pub, eyes locked on one another, communicating beyond words. Her deep hazel orbs focus on my brown ones. "What do you suggest I do then, Jennie?" Lightly raising a brow, my words dare her while her lovely name rolls off my tongue. I can't help but revel in how it sounds. Then something flashes in her fixated stare.

"Let's get out of here."

Chapter two

[eisforeidolon]

Question: What was your favorite episode of Supernatural to film?

Jensen: To film?

Jared: In hindsight, or at the time? I mean, 'cause I look back and, like, French Mistake? Looking back now I love it, but I was so anxious the entire time, I was so nervous that I didn't have a great time filming it? But in hindsight, I loooove the memory of having filmed it. Does that make any sense? It kinda sounds weird, like, it was nerve wracking, I was like, I have to be funny and there's a lock and a key and a [gestures vaguely like in the episode]. Nutcracker where they were fitting me for jock straps and stuff. I was like, this sucks. Like, who thinks this is funny?

Jensen: That was - Changing Channels?

Jared: [grabs Jensen's thigh] Changing Channels! I had, like, herpes commercials and shit, I was like, this, I don't like this very much. Riding the motorcycles around and falling around. Like in hindsight, it was amazing, but during the filming of it I was like this might be the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my life. And then strange, like Sacrifice, the end of season eight, was awful to film but I loved that I got to experience it, you know? It was three days in an abandoned church with Mark Sheppard - who we're all sending love to, and I love him and you all love him [crowd cheers]. But it wasn't, it wasn't enjoyable during it - it's always enjoyable, not mean to bitch, but it was stressful during it, but those are the two episodes that just came to my head. Or like The End, you know, like that - like episode twenty three of five? What was that [slaps Jensen's arm] Swan Song! The End was him, um Samifer - Swan Song, the finale of season five, was amazing in my head now, but during it, I hated it. It was like, I'm killing my brother, I'm killing myself, like what's going on -

Jensen: I was gonna say that one of them would be The End, and it's, I think it's a similar thing [rests hand on Jared's knee] it's because it was such a challenge to shoot those particular episodes that it was very taxing during shooting those, that particular episode for me that I was playing two versions of Dean. But it's one that I look back on with great pride because of how challenging it was. I'll say that - you guys might not like this - that one of my favorite episodes to film was the very last episode. I'll tell you why, it's because we had gotten to a point where he and I could truly reflect and appreciate the magnitude of the moment that was happening in front of us. I - when I got in to that car and I drove it, Dean was driving in heaven, I knew that that was gonna be the final drive for this run of the show. And you know, I think I have video, I set my little phone up in the seat and recorded me doing that final drive. And then he and I on the bridge, like we, there were moments that he and I took, multiple moments that he and I took to ourselves without the cameras rolling. And so I think that was precious for me.

Jared: Yeah.

Jensen: And that meant so much because of the journey we had gone on and where we had ended up together, so. That's, that's - but if you're just like, what was fun? Yellow Fever was fun.

Jared: Yeah, that was fun. That was fun. You know what? I agree a hundred percent. It occurred to me while you were talking about it, I think the only episode that I really feel like I just had fun during? Was Baby. [Jensen points his mic at Jared] Because we weren't - it wasn't the Sam and Dean show, it was the Baby show. And so it was like we got to go have some fun on somebody else's set.

Jensen: It was also kind of the most unique -

Jared: So wild.

Jensen: process of filming an episode because they just mounted cameras to the car and then just sent us out into the wild. And just fingers crossed, I hope these two knuckleheads can get the scene. It was up to us.

Jared: Yeah. And it was also the first time in a decade and a half where we weren't going onto set of a show about Sam and Dean Winchester, like, this episode was about Baby. So we got to go and like just help be cogs in the wheel, you know, it wasn't like - it felt like less pressure - even though we were in the entire episode, obviously.

Jensen: Yeah, that's a great answer. Baby. And one of my favorite episodes, too. That was a Robbie Thompson special.

Jared: Yeah, that's right.

[twostepstyless]

All Roads Lead To You

Authors Note:

NSFW

Harry and Y/N decide to take an open-ended roadtrip to Italy, they’ve been best friends since school but what changes when they get to run away for a bit and enjoy some overdue, uninterrupted time together under the summer sun as they journey across Europe. This one has been in the works, essentially, since Harry’s House was released. Heavily inspired by the song Keep Driving, the referenced are blatantly obvious LOL. Also wrote this about Harry’s trip to Italy he took during the pandemic when he drove there from England with a friend, in my story the friend happens to be Y/N. Some of the photos they take on the trip are also direct references from the Harry’s House album booklet, see if you can guess which ones! This is my longest fic to date and I hope you enjoy it, it’s been a labour of love. 

As always, reblogs, likes, feedback is appreciated and encouraged !!

Lots of love, G xo 

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Warnings: Recreational drug use and smut. Don’t do drugs kids (but if you do be safe xo) 

Contains: Long drives, crepes in Paris, Coffee in Pisa, Pizza in Naples, Audrey Hepburn in Rome and a whole lotta love in Positano and a lot of blatant references to the song Keep Driving xo OH and Y/N spills food… a LOT

Word Count: 22k (it’s a BIG one, may need to read on desktop, device depending)

***

“Right then, we ready?” Harry asked shutting the driver side door as he got comfortable in the leather seat. 

“Think so, did you lock up?” she asked, not yet looking up from her phone as she scrolled through their carefully curated road trip playlist. 

“No, jus’ left the front door open for a laugh, I’ve stuck a sign up out the front saying everything’s free for the taking as well,” he said, sarcasm dripping around every word. 

“Don’t be a smart arse, or you’ll be in for a long journey, I was jus’ checking. Did you lock the back doors?” She glanced up at him to see him sliding the key to the borrowed car into the ignition, his blue hat backwards on top of his grown-out curls, a pair of yellow tinted sunglasses hanging from the neck of his sweatshirt. 

Harry paused as he was about to turn the key to start the car up, “the back doors weren’t open,” he said slowly, as if trying to convince himself of the fact. 

“H, we ate out there this morning,” Y/N narrowed her eyes at him, baffled to the fact he couldn’t remember they were out there with coffee and pancakes not even an hour ago. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Harry grumbled, pulling the keys back out of the ignition and groaning as he got back out the car with his knees cracking as he stood. Y/N leant out of the open passenger window as Harry made his way back to his front door.

“Oi, try and lose that hat while you’re at it, yeah?” Y/N called out the window to him, a smirk playing at her lips as Harry looked back over his shoulder as he unlocked the door. Before entering he turned back to face her, spun his hat round so the front was facing her so she could read that god awful fisherman quote, and he stuck both his middle fingers up at her as he laughed, walking backwards into his house. 

While he was gone, Y/N took the opportunity to connect her phone to the sound system ready to deep dive into their playlist and then rifled through her bag in the footwell that had all their essentials for the first block of driving, just double checking she had everything to hand. A rough route map, or more so things they could stop to see and interesting places they could spend a night on their open-ended trip as they drove from London to Italy. Y/N had both their passports in a plastic wallet along with every other document they could possibly need and then some. Harry had joked her bag had looked like a police evidence container with everything separated into various wallets and folders. That had earned him a slap in the chest with one of those wallets and her saying, “well say, we get questioned about the car insurance at least I’ll know where it is, instead of you patting at your pockets as if it’s going to appear by magic, eh?” 

She wasn’t wrong either, Harry knew he was making the right decision asking her to come along on this trip with him. Not only was she so well organised it put him to shame but he really couldn’t wait to have some well overdue Harry and Y/N time. The pair had been friends since they started high school, in fact, Harry was of the opinion friends was too basic of a term for what they were to each other. Kindred spirits perhaps, confidante seemed a bit too high and mighty of a phrase. Soulmates. Platonic soulmates, Harry kept telling himself, but the ache in his chest he felt when they were separated by the Atlantic Ocean and every flight grounded for the foreseeable when he got stuck in L.A when the entire world locked down said differently. Their daily FaceTime calls, that happened at all hours of the day and night, when they would confuse their time differences and any semblance of a daily schedule fell by the wayside throughout lockdowns and quarantines, eventually turned into them fantasising what they should do to make up for lost time when they were finally reunited and restrictions allowed them to run away for a bit, and thus the idea to drive to Italy was born. They justified it by saying, well driving would mean they would interact with the least amount of people other than each other, minimising their risk of becoming unwell, it would also mean they could make the trip as long or short as they pleased as neither of the pair had anything they had to rush back for. The only small argument they had got into was which car would be taking them on the journey across the English Channel and Europe, Y/N’s ageing car, that Harry had affectionately named her ‘Doodlebug’ was out of the question, it was a little too small and if Y/N was honest she didn’t think the car would make it through the channel crossing never mind to Italy. That left them Harry’s multiple car options, all of which Y/N shot down as he suggested them, rejecting his classic and vintage cars because, “what if something went wrong H? I doubt some mechanic in the middle of nowhere France can fix a Mercedes from the 60s.” When he suggested his newer, modern cars, they ended up in the reject pile just as quick, “they’re all a bit ostentatious d’you not think? All a bit ‘look at me, I’m a wanker roaring through rural France in a sports car’ or a big, fuck-off Range Rover before you suggest that.” 

That left them drawing a blank, toying the idea of hiring a car until Harry mentioned his and Y/N’s plans while on a call with his Mum.

“Why don’t you take Robin’s?” she had suggested.

“Christ Mum, y’sure y’would be alright with that?” he queried, gnawing on his lip.

“Honestly Harry, please do, it would be a nice full circle moment, I think. We went all over the country in that thing, would be lovely to see you two take it further afield, make some memories like we did,” she had given him a soft smile through the phone screen as Harry gave her one back, feeling his eyes go glassy. 

Which brought them to this moment. The second Harry had found out he was able to get home from L.A, Y/N was taking the quickest trip back up North she’d ever had, to collect the car and give a quick wave through the window to her own parents as that was as close to them as she was willing to risk, and she was back on the road driving the borrowed car to London to await Harry’s arrival. They set their departure date for a little over two weeks after Harry returned, so they could both isolate and not risk each other’s health and safety. 

Just as she was repacking her final documents folder with their passports, Harry’s filled with a lot more stamps and used pages than her own, back into her bag in the footwell, Harry had returned, opening, and sliding into the driver’s seat, popping the key back into the ignition. 

“Well, was the back door unlocked then?” she looked over at him, quirking her eyebrow, a smirk playing at her lips, taking note that the ‘if you ain’t a fisherman, you ain’t shit’ hat was still sat firmly on his head, squashing his soft curls down. 

“Shut up,” he grumbled, deflecting from answering, he couldn’t help but let a smile tug at the corner of his annoyed pout as Y/N giggled from her seat, fastening her belt as Harry started the engine. “Next stop, the Eurotunnel,” he grinned at her as she wriggled excitedly in her seat, the idea of escaping the U.K for at least a little while was really doing a number on her. 

“There’ll be bluebirds over, the white cliffs of Dover,” Y/N warbled as she pressed play on the same song on her phone. 

Harry huffed out a laugh, “the Eurotunnel is in Folkestone, y’idiot,” he said as she continued her slightly off-key tune as the voice of Vera Lynn eased them into the first leg of a journey that would change everything. 

***

“Harry, you’re going to hurt yourself,” Y/N warned as she pulled out the document with their booking reference.

“M’fine,” he grunted, reaching through his window, fingertips just whispering across the touchscreen as he tried to plug in the details

“Jus’ accept you misjudged it and open your bloody door, I’m not popping your shoulder back into place in the car park,” she retaliated. 

Harry sighed before stretching out his seatbelt and popping the door open so he could lean closer to the screen all the while muttering under his breath, “jus’ embarrassing innit,” and “I look like a right knob,” as Y/N snickered and read out the code to him for him to punch in. 

Slamming the door shut and handing her the ticket they had to hang from the rear-view mirror, his eyes met hers as she pressed her lips together to stifle the laugh that was crawling its way up her throat, “not a word,” he cautioned lifting his foot from the clutch as they drove under the raised barrier. “How long’ve we got til our slot?” he asked as he followed the road round into the car park where a selection of shops and world duty free framed the tarmac. 

“Uh, 30-40 minutes, I think,” Y/N glanced at her watch as Harry pulled into a free parking space, “I really need a wee before we go anywhere though,” quickly attaching the ticket with the bold letter E inked on it to the rear-view mirror that would direct the staff to which train they should be on before undoing her seatbelt and reaching for her mask to slip on to enter the rest area. 

Pulling his own mask on, he unbuckled his own seatbelt before getting out the car with her, locking it behind him with the push of a button, “okay, you sort yourself out, I’m away to play ‘Supermarket Sweep’ in the shops, any requests?” he held the door to the concourse open for her. 

“The journey is only a bit over half an hour, but I could go somethin’ tasty,” she paused, mulling over what she could want before the pressure in her bladder interrupted her as she shot off towards the toilets, calling over her shoulder, “surprise me!”

Hands washed and dried and snacks purchased, they met outside the front doors of the concourse, so they weren’t lingering around many people before sauntering back over to the car. 

“Shit, I forgot to put that bloody U.K sticker on the car,” Harry said as he took notice of the white stickers with the bold black letters emblazoned on the car’s parked on either side of their own. “Pass me it out, s’in the glove box,” he passed her the bag filled with their snacks as well to deposit in her passenger side too. Y/N quickly located the sticker handing it to Harry who was stood behind her on the passenger side and just as she was about to close the compartment, she caught sight of something else.

“Oh… H, look at this,” wrapping her hand round the item before pulling herself back out the car round the back to see Harry squatting down, smoothing over the sticker over the bumper. She handed him the polaroid she found, one of Anne and Robin, perched on the bonnet of this very car, clearly taken before one of their many road trips. Harry’s fingers held onto the edges of the image as to not taint it with his fingerprints as he took in their beaming faces, Y/N watched smiling softly as his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat before he cleared it. 

“I’ve got m’film camera in my backpack, we should take one too… like they did,” he glanced up at her timidly.

“That sounds like a great idea, let me put this back where it belongs and we’ll take one before we go, yeah?” she gave him a warm smile and a squeeze of his hand, taking the polaroid from him and putting it back in its home in the glove box so it would be on their journey with them. Harry was opening the boot, scouring through his large backpack that Y/N frequently teased him about, saying he looked like an 11-year-old on their first day of high school wearing it. Pulling out the camera and setting it up as he closed the boot again, Y/N sidled up to him as he held out the camera in front of them, trying to get the newly placed U.K sticker in the shot. Her hand came up to block the sun from her eyes as she beamed into the camera lens, a broad grin across Harry’s face too, as one eye squinted closed as he battled the golden rays shining in his face as he took their photo. 

“S’black an’ white film in it just now, that’s the only thing,” Harry said taking the camera and its accompanying bag, stuffed full of accessories and new rolls of film and cannisters into the front seats so they could take some pictures on their journey.

“Even better,” she smiled, sliding back into her seat, and fastening her belt, “should we get out of here then?”

“Let’s do this,” Harry reached over to squeeze her knee in excitement as he started the car and drove towards the Eurotunnel. 

***

Harry was adamant he was doing the first portion of driving from his home until they stopped overnight in Paris, one of the locations they decided to stop off at along the way to Italy, wanting to make it a ‘proper road trip.’ He was adamant he was doing that first portion of driving even when they got into a little scuffle next to the car while stretching their legs as the train hurtled under the English Channel. When Y/N tried to wrestle the keys from his grip and force herself into the driver’s seat. 

“Move your arse, it’s not happening,” he had said taking the keys out of her grip holding them up above both their heads and out of reach. 

“You’re the one that said we were splitting the driving,” she shot back as she reached up on the tips of her toes, her fingers just ghosting the keys, if only she could just hook a finger through the keyring.

Harry whipped the keys back down and stuck them in his back pocket before spinning Y/N round so he was closer to the open driver’s door, “and we’ll split it with you driving for a bit tomorrow, jus’ let me get us to Paris,” he stated as he sat down in seat and shut the door behind him before seeing Y/N’s furrowed brow through the open window, “oi, get in and buckled up, grumpy, we’ll be driving off soon.” 

Her grumpiness didn’t last long as they were on the road from Calais to Paris, with them competing in the car of who could remember more from high school French which was really just the numbers from 1 to 20, some greetings and how to say you were going to the cinema with your mates, all completed with their dodgy attempt at an accent. 

“Pass me a piggy,” he asked, looking out the corner of his eyes through his yellow sunglasses to see Y/N had burst into their snack haul.

“Um..” she began, feeling the heat rise on her face. 

“You’ve not tanked an entire bag of Percy Pigs, have you?” Harry asked whipping his head round at her quickly, mouth open, before his eyes shot back to the road, “and didn’t even offer me one.”  “No, no, not all of them, there’s some left, honest,” she giggled clutching onto the pink packaging that she had torn open.

“Then cough up,” he held out his left palm that had previously been resting on the gear stick. Y/N begrudgingly placed the pig-shaped confection in his hand. 

“I love Percy Pigs, they’re my favourites,” she said softly to herself mostly, as she ate the second to last sweet before handing Harry the last one in the bag. 

“I know y’do, there’s a second bag in there for the very reason I knew you would put that first bag away in record time,” he mumbled, chewing round a mouthful of fruit-flavoured pig.

“Shit, is there actually? You’re my second favourite after Percy now” she squeaked as she tore through the bag for life Harry had filled with her favourites while he played Supermarket Sweep earlier that day. Harry grinned at her joy of finding the second bag as he took a swig of water from the bottle that she had taken the lid off for him as he drove. 

***

She had played the opening song from Beauty and the Beast as they drove into Paris as Harry snorted at her choice before joining in her singalong and pointing towards himself during the line about the baker. They did a quick driving tour of Paris as night fell over the city, both too exhausted for anything more. They parked up to enjoy the glittering light show of the Eiffel Tower while they ate the crêpes Y/N had purchased from an overpriced stand while she said something about this being a trip to play up the tourist stereotype. Harry watched her eyes sparkle in the twinkling light as drip of Nutella landed on her chin and a slice of strawberry fell out her dessert onto the pavement below their feet. As the sparkling faded out to darkness, Y/N looked up at Harry, who laughed in her face as he wiped away the Nutella with his scrunched-up napkin while she played it off saying she was saving that bit for later. 

Harry had called in a favour with some friends in Paris and had managed to borrow an apartment for a night while his friend was out of town, gathering their overnight bags from the car and Y/N’s bag with all their important bits that she didn’t want to leave unattended in the car overnight, they shuffled into the quiet of the apartment to see Harry’s friend had made up their sofa bed in addition to their own bedroom for the pair.

“Bedrooms through there, Y/N/N, I’ll be out here,” he grunted out, his tiredness starting to become more evident in his voice. 

“Don’t be ridiculous c’mere,” she tugged him alongside her into the bedroom, “I also don’t want t’hear you whine about a sore back in the car all day tomorrow,” she stated before sitting him down on the bed and kicking her shoes off and grabbing her sleepwear from her bag, “I baggsy the bathroom first, though,” she said through a yawn as she walked away from him. Harry quickly got himself changed while she was out of the room and was swiping through the pictures they had taken at the Eiffel Tower, and quick shots of other sights through the window on their driving tour, on his phone, in addition to the ones on his film camera. He barely noticed her enter the room again and shuffle into the bed next to him until the mumbled, “bathrooms all yours.” Harry was quick in sorting himself out in the bathroom, doing his business, washing his face, and brushing his teeth as he felt his body succumbing to sleep. He stumbled back into the bedroom to see her already out, soft puffs of air leaving her, her hair covering her face. Slipping under the sheets next to her, he reached over, pushed her hair back and smiled softly, eyes blinking heavily as he took in her softened features before turning out the bedside light and letting his body fall under the sleep it so desperately needed. 

***

“H, I’m so hungry I’m hurtling towards taking a bite out the steering wheel,” she announced, looking over at him with a deadpan expression from her spot in the driver’s seat as he took a quick picture of her grimace on his camera. They had set off from Paris early with a long driving day in front of them with and Y/N was taking on the first stint of the drive to give Harry a break after his turn yesterday. 

“Percy not cutting it any longer?” Harry questioned, lowering his camera from his face, a teasing smirk plaguing his mouth.

“Not even a little bit,” she sighed looking down at the packet of sweets jammed into one of the cup holders, not in the slightest bit tempted as she was yesterday. 

“I’m already googling, I’ll find somewhere,” he reassured pulling his phone out of the pocket of his hoodie before pausing, “here, drink up, it’ll hold you over a bit before we stop,” he unscrewed lid of the water before passing it to her as she drank up gratefully keeping her right hand on the steering wheel. 

They drove for another 45 minutes before Harry instructed her to pull into a rest stop that apparently served a great breakfast, according to TripAdvisor anyway. Y/N parked up and unbuckled and as she reached for a fresh mask Harry gripped her wrist and deposited it back into her lap, “no point in both of us going in, we’ll eat in the car, yeah?” 

“Well, let me go then, don’t want you to get, y’know,” she spoke as she gestured her hands in the air as if to create some sort of fanfare symbolising Harry getting mobbed. 

“Considering we’re in the middle of nowhere France and there’s only a lorry, us, and a car from 1982 parked up,” he nodded towards the car, “I think I’ll be jus’ fine. Got m’mask and m’sunnies on as well,” he said as he donned both, nodding his head down quickly to knock his sunglasses from their perch in his hair to cover his eyes as he looped the elastic of his mask over his ears. 

“Take my wallet then, s’in the top of my bag, got some cash in there,” she reached over to adjust his sunglasses that sat squint on his face while he scrunched his nose up.

“Fuck off,” he scoffed at her suggestion of offering him money, unbuckling his seatbelt, and opening his door to get out.

“Harry just tak-” she was cut off by the slamming of his door as she rolled her eyes at his behaviour. 

He returned about 20 minutes later as she watched him through the front windscreen as he crossed the car park with a coffee carrier and a brown paper bag that the handles seemed to be straining on as he shook it in the air and wiggled his hips when he came to a stop in front of the car. She could see his eyes crinkle through his yellow lenses as he came back round to his passenger door. He passed her the coffee carrier in and balanced the paper bag on top of the centre console as he situated himself back in his seat. Y/N had rolled her own seat back as far as it could go to give herself a bit more room.

“That smells amazing,” Y/N sighed dreamily taking a whiff of the hot food coming from the paper bag as she took their coffees from the carrier and settled them in the two-remaining cupholders. 

“Oh, we hit the jackpot in there, I come bearing a bag of fresh, home-made, assorted pastries,” he pulled out a white paper bag that seemed to be filled to bursting with buttery, flaky goodness, “we also have- oops there’s the forks,” he distracted himself pulling out a bundle of wooden cutlery wrapped in some paper napkins. “We also have toast,” he pulled out a white cardboard box and placed it on the dashboard between them, balancing some butter packages and jams on top, “and finally, hash browns an’ fried eggs,” he grinned handing over a polystyrene container she could feel the heat radiating through and placing his own container in his lap. 

“Oh my god, aw I could kiss you,” she smiled patting her grumbling stomach, “did y’get knives though ‘cause I don’t like the egg whi-”

“Already dealt with,” he cut her off with a smile then taking a sip from his coffee, and sure enough it was. She popped open the lid of her food and saw her hash browns with two fried egg yolks sat next to them, the whites cut off from around them. Looking over at Harry, she saw him already wolfing into his yolkless egg whites in their chopped-up glory. 

They ate and drank with their music playing quietly in the background until their bellies were full and Y/N was feeling a lot less grouchy. She packed up their rubbish into the paper bag and went to get out the car to take it to the bin across the carpark, “wait hang on lovie,” Harry stopped her before taking his thumb and swiping it across her bottom lip and chin before holding it in her eyeline, “some stray strawberry jam this time, are y’planning on spilling down your chin at every stop?” he smiled before wiping his thumb clean on a spare napkin before putting that in the top of their rubbish too.

***

Y/N continued driving the next portion of the journey with Harry deciding he’d take over just before the Mont Blanc tunnel. Insisting even when Y/N fought him on it. 

“Why don’t we just swap the other side of the tunnel, seems a bit more logical to do it tha’ way.”

“No, no we’ll swap before,” his most reassuring tone evident in his voice. 

She paused, thinking, before it dawned on her, “you just want to say you drove through the big tunnel, don’t you?” she mused. Harry’s silence and the redness that coloured his cheeks and the tips of his ears gave him away in an instant. “Y’so silly, we’ll swap before the tunnel,” she said as he beamed to himself.

So, they did. Y/N pulled into the last rest stop before the Mont Blanc tunnel where it was her turn to fill up the tank anyway as Harry got himself comfortable in the driver’s seat, moving it into position and adjusting his mirrors. Petrol paid for; they were on their way again. Y/N was fiddling around with Harry’s camera changing the film from the black and white reel they had finished to a colour film instead. As they paid the toll for the tunnel through the Alps and waited on their turn to go through, she caught his attention, “right, look at me,” he turned his head as he drove up to the entrance of the tunnel as Y/N took his picture, catching him unawares. “There we go, Harry’s big moment driving through the tunnel captured on film to remember forever,” she teased. 

“You’ve got a real cheek, y’know, could’ve at least told me y’were taking m’photo, I would’ve posed an’ got a better shot,” he pulled his hat off leaving it on the dash, which she then took a photo of, while it was lit by the afternoon sun coming in the front window. 

“Nah, my photography is all about catching real, genuine emotions,” she said in her best serious voice. 

“Your photography,” he snorted, “right Annie Leibovitz, calm yourself down.”

“Oh, fuck off Harry, c’mon it’s our turn,” she said pointing towards the tunnel entrance. 

As he drove into the tunnel with a smile on his face, he mentioned the silly superstition they used to do as children, “I’d say hold your breath and make a wish til the end of the tunnel but it’s 7 and a bit miles long and I could be doing with y’not passing out halfway.” 

They decided to keep driving. Originally planning on having a rest night on the other side of the tunnel once they crossed into Italy, but Harry was feeling good and hadn’t driven much so was up for getting them to Pisa early so they could spend two nights rather than the one and get to see the city properly the next day. 

The highway hypnosis and gentle rumble of the car paired with their early morning start, rocked Y/N to sleep for a little while nearly two hours into their journey, and Harry couldn’t help himself by continuously taking shy glances over at her. Constantly worried that the next time she’s going to be awake and catch him looking, but he just couldn’t stop himself, her softened, relaxed features were just so endearing to him. It comforted him to know she felt safe, secure, and relaxed enough to fall asleep while he drove. He let her sleep as long as he could before he became wary about her not being able to sleep tonight if she slept all the way until Pisa. He considered reaching over and gently shaking her awake. Considered it, then swiftly moved on from that because at heart, Harry was a little shit to Y/N. A menace, and always had been over the nearly fifteen years they knew each other, and that wasn’t about to change now. He pulled over at a quiet part of the road and grabbed her phone that was still connected to the speakers, playing soft instrumental and orchestral music. He signed in with her passcode and entered her Apple Music tab, quickly finding the song he wanted and queuing it to play next before starting off down the road again. As the previous song faded into nothing, Harry quickly spun the volume dial and thought to himself, when in Italy. As the rousing opening to ‘Volare’ blasted through the car speakers, so loud the car 100 metres in front of them could probably hear it. Y/N shrieked awake and jumped so high her head brushed the roof of the car as Harry cackled. 

“What in the actual fuck, Harry?!” she clutched her chest as Harry kept laughing. 

“Y’needed to wake up or you’re not going to sleep t’night, so I woke you up,” he kept laughing, turning the music down to a volume that wasn’t threatening to burst their eardrums.

“So, you decided to do that by nearly giving me a heart attack?” she asked dumbfounded her heartrate slowly ticking back down to a more sensible rhythm. “You’re an actual dickhead, Harry Styles.”

“Shut up and singalong, y’love this song,” he grinned wickedly at her. 

“Where are we, anyway?” she asked stretching her arms above her head, finally adjusting to being awake again. 

“Just passed Genoa, f’you look out my window we might be able to see the water in a second,” Harry glanced out trying to see the sparkling blue of the Ligurian Sea as he began softly humming along to the song. 

***

As they reached Pisa, things were going the same way they had went in Paris. Agreeing they were far too exhausted to do anything that night, at least they had an entire day and night tomorrow to explore and see the city. It was really beneficial for Y/N to be friends with Harry, who had friends, everywhere. They were staying in another borrowed apartment from one of his friends for the next two nights, this one slightly more extravagant with a large balcony and two bedrooms so they wouldn’t be squished in together, Harry didn’t know if this was a positive or a negative, but it also meant that one of them didn’t have to be banished to a pull-out either. They were picking up the keys from Harry’s mate in the centre of town near a restaurant his friend had also recommended so they opted to get take-out from there, after Harry pulled out some awful joke about them having a ‘Pisa Pizza’ to take back and eat to settle down for the night. 

Harry pulled up and parked in a space a few down from the restaurant, and before Y/N even reached for her belt to undo it, he stopped her. “Jus’ you wait here, sleepy, I won’t be too long,” he uttered before reaching across and tucking strands of her hair behind her ear. 

“Hmm, okay,” Y/N yawned before reaching down to her bag, “take this though, an’ I mean it this time, H, don’t even try and give it back or you’ll be spoiling for a fight,” she ordered before shoving a few folded-up Euros into his palm to pay for dinner. Rolling his eyes, he pocketed the cash and got out the car. 

She had been scrolling her phone when Harry returned with a set of keys between his teeth and carrying two pizza boxes in his hands, a plastic bag balanced on top, and a paper bag tucked under his arm. Y/N reached over and popped open the driver’s door, so he didn’t have to struggle, and he handed her the boxes and plastic bag, filled with their food, in for her to hold. 

“What’s with the other bag,” she looked over as Harry kept hold of the paper bag before reaching back over the seats and depositing it into his backpack that had made its way into the backseat rather than the boot. 

“Jus’ somethin’ for tomorrow night and maybe something else for another night,” he had a knowing smirk plastered on his face as she quirked an eyebrow at him but was far too tired to push it any further. She’d find out eventually.

The rest of their evening passed in a sleepy sort of haze, having got into the apartment, eating their dinner, taking turns showering and completing their night-time routines. With full bellies, they bade each other goodnight and slunk away into their respective bedrooms. Although they both admitted to themselves that they missed the closeness of each other through the brick wall that now separated them. They had been in each other’s pockets the last few days and now not having the option to reach out and touch or feel the other’s warmth was missed, but they’ll keep those thoughts to themselves. 

***

Their day in Pisa had started off busy and got lazier as it progressed which was perfect for them and exactly what they wanted out of the trip. They felt they had to go and see the tower in all its leaning glory and made the move to go first thing in the morning to avoid the most amount of people as they could. They took the classic tourist snapshots of pushing and pulling the tower before handing Harry’s camera to an older man to take a photo of the pair of them. They smiled and said ‘Grazie’ generously to the gentleman before giving the camera to a woman who passed them a few moments later to try again, as the older man’s fingertip was definitely, at least partially, covering the lens. 

They spent the rest of the morning wandering piazzas and side streets, in shops and taking photos. A new pair of sandals for Y/N later, as the strap snapped on her own as they walked, and pictures of Harry posed with a bottle of balsamic vinegar he had purchased, they decided they needed a pick me up. Walking into a trattoria, Harry ordered coffees and food for them to share in the best Italian that he had learnt from his friends and the Duolingo subscription he raved about to her. 

“This is weird, y’know,” he noted, sipping on his coffee as they sat outside on metal chairs that never sat quite level on the ground and a matching bistro table that wobbled if you so much as brushed against it. 

“What’s that?” she questioned, peering at him through the yellow of his sunglasses he had placed on her face as she sat down in the seat that the sun was glaring onto as Harry sat with his back to it. 

“Sitting down and having a coffee,” he hummed before tearing off a corner of bread and dipping it into the oil and balsamic mixture and popping it into his mouth. 

“How’s that weird?” she enquired further as she took a drink of her own coffee. 

“Suppose not s’much having the coffee, more the act of being able to sit down and drink it. I don’t really get t’do this much anymore. If I get a coffee, or anything really, it’s like okay, get it to go, move, onto the next place, or the next thing, don’t stop or it could cause a scene,” he rambles. “I’m just happy I can sit here and enjoy this, and we can take our time and we can chat or not chat if we don’t want to, we can spend as long as want,” he paused taking in his surroundings before looking down at his lap and furrowing his eyebrows, “ignore me, it’s stupid,” he tried brushing it off. 

“Hey, look at me,” she said, pushing the sunglasses back into her hair before his eyes met hers. “It’s not stupid, it’s not. You’re just appreciating being able to see the world go by for the first time since you were 16, Har, it’s a big deal,” she responded. “It’s like we’re hiding you in plain sight,” she had a sort of mischievous glint in her eye because they’ve managed this far going undetected. 

“Thank you, Y/N/N, really,” he smiled, “genuinely, I wouldn’t want to do this trip with anyone but you.”

“Thank fuck for that because I’ve made it this far with you, would be a bit shite if you had changed your mind now,” she laughed as his dimples popped in a responding peel of laughter. “We can do this as much as y’want you know,” her tone turning into a mixture of being serious but also reassuring, “if you want to stop for a coffee, or smell the flowers or sit and gorge on pasta on a busy terrace at a restaurant where no one knows it’s you, say the word an’ we’ll stop.” 

That’s what they did the rest of the afternoon, walking aimlessly wherever their feet took them, discovering tourist spots and hidden gems, stopping to read a chapter of their books, they had bought from a second-hand book shop on a tiny side street, while perched on the wall of a fountain in a bustling Piazza and for dinner they had done just what Y/N had suggested, filling themselves up on pasta while sat on a terrace as the evening sun faded around them. 

***

They were sitting on the balcony of the apartment now as Harry poured their wine glasses full of the additional bottle of wine, he had bought from the restaurant for them to share when they got back.

“Cheers,” he raised his glass in the air, gripping it by the stem as he tilted the bowl of the glass to hers. 

“Thought you were supposed to be great at Italian,” she said picking up her own glass but not letting the glass chime together yet, “they say Salute here, so Salute, look me in the eye as well or 7 years of bad sex is coming your way,” she giggled catching his gaze before letting the rim of the glasses clip together in a pleasing, twinkly sound. They both took a swig from the glass and afterwards Harry put his down abruptly on the table and stood up.

“Oh shit, I almost forgot,” and he dashed back through the open doors into the apartment.

“Forgot what?” she called in after him, still cradling her own wine glass, taking another sip letting the alcohol warm her from the inside out. 

Harry came back with a small decorative bowl, placing it in the centre of the table and the brown paper bag from yesterday in his clutches. His eyes gleamed at her as he rustled through the bag, looking for something in particular. Firstly, he pulled out a lighter and placed it down onto the table, the second thing came soon after. A joint, perfectly pre-rolled in pink rolling paper. “This is also why I had to meet to get the keys in person,” he confided.

“Bloody hell, H, we’ve not done this for a while, thought you just got sleepy from smoking?” Y/N took another mouthful of wine before sitting the glass down and scooching her chair closer to his. 

“Mm, I do, most of the time, this is a different strain though, so we’ll see what happens, y’up for it?” he asked sincerely, if she wasn’t, he’d forget all about it. 

“Of course, I’m up for it,” she grinned reaching for the lighter on the table, “what else you got in the bag?” 

“Ah, that’s for me to know and you to find out, Sweetness,” he spoke vaguely, before placing the joint between his lips and leaning forward to let her spark it to life. He inhaled deeply, feeling it catch in his throat ever so slightly from being out of practice. He let the feeling settle in his lungs before steadily exhaling into the cooling summer air before ashing the joint into the bowl he brought with him and passing it to Y/N. Through sips of wine, deep inhales, ashes and exhales they passed their evening with soft conversation and fits of giggles. 

“Can’t believe y’broke y’bloody shoe out walking today,” he tittered before drinking down his wine before topping up his own glass and hers. 

“Aw don’t,” she whined, “I loved those sandals,” the full of her lip pouted before she took another drag. 

“More importantly, can’t believe the way you tripped when it broke,” he was cackling now at the memory of her earlier in the day, “I mean, fuck, y’nearly stacked it into the fountain,” he struggled to get out through his laughter, tapping off the joint she passed him back. 

“Oh, piss off,” she tried to keep her face serious, but Harry’s face lit up with laughter was hard to resist as she fell subject to her own giggling. 

They finished the joint and the wine between the pair of them. Letting the effects settle into their bodies for a little while, feeling more relaxed than euphoric. 

“Well, I better go drink a shit load of water and go sleep to sober up since m’driving in the morning,” Y/N began, standing to her feet, gathering the empty wine bottle and their empty glasses that were stained with lip marks and fingerprints. 

Harry stood to his feet as well, cleaning up everything else and tucking his paper bag back under his arm as they both toddled back into the apartment, shutting the balcony doors behind them. Popping everything they had brought in with them into the kitchen for them to tidy up in the morning before they continued their journey. They met again in the hallway outside the two bedroom doors as they said goodnight to each other. 

Harry couldn’t help himself in wrapping her in a warm hug, “thank you for today, really,” he whispered into her hair. 

“Don’t be silly,” she murmured back, wrapping her arms around his waist, letting her fingers dance on his spine as they swayed on the spot. 

“It meant a lot to me, today is right up there as one of my top 5 days, ever,” Harry kept going giving her a little squeeze.

“God, you’ve turned into a right wet wipe while you’ve been away, eh?” they broke away from their embrace as Y/N snickered. 

“Piss off,” he breathed out a laugh in return. Then he done it, he just couldn’t stop himself, his body already moving before the thought crossed his mind. He placed a delicate kiss upon the corner of her mouth and their eyes fluttered shut as he pressed his lips down. They blinked their eyes open at each other as Harry pulled back, a soft smile playing at their both their lips, then he done it again, just a bit closer to the target this time. He took her bottom lip between his and pressed a slow, lingering kiss to her lips before he stood back to his full height and quietly laughed again as they looked at each other. 

They both turned to enter their rooms for the evening before Y/N said, looking over her shoulder, “Oi, H, I want to hear what the rest of those top 5 days are at one point,” she beamed as they both closed their bedroom doors. The pair of them ghosting their fingertips over their lips where they kissed. 

***

“D’you think the car sounds dodgy?” she asked trying to listen closely to the car, something was definitely making a noise that wasn’t there before. 

Harry reached over and turned the volume of the music right down to listen closely, “eh, there might be something a little off, it’ll be fine though, we’re not driving that long this morning,” he said sincerely turning the volume back up. She glanced over at him, both her hands gripping the steering wheel as she captained them on the drive to Rome. Harry was talking a gulp of his coffee from his to go cup, baring his teeth round the steaming, bitter liquid as it seared down his throat. 

“You’re only saying that, so I won’t get dead concerned, aren’t you?” Y/N uttered softly. 

“Maybe,” Harry drew out the word, a glint in his green eyes, “but maybe not. You’re concerned no matter what I say, correct?” Harry passed her, her own coffee cup so she could take a drink when she made a grabby hand towards it. 

“Just a little bit,” she said handing him the cup back after gulping it down so he could put it down in the cupholder. 

“Let’s just get to Rome and we’ll deal with it if it becomes a problem,” he reached over squeezing her knee in reassurance as she let out a slow breath trying to push the engine noise to the back of her mind and enjoy their route to Rome. 

***

Harry was directing Y/N through the streets of Rome from a map on his phone and as they approached the area they were staying in, Harry spoke. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“Hmm, what’s that?” she muttered, not fully listening as she was focusing on her driving as the cobbled roads were narrow, and they were surrounded by pedestrians. 

“Where we’re staying t’night, y’might recognise it,” a smile evident in his voice, “take a left here, doll and park up, we need to walk a little, not much parking on our street.” Y/N done the best parallel park of her life and killed the engine giving him a bemused smile at Harry’s vagueness. Harry took both their overnight bags after he slipped his backpack on his shoulders. After she grabbed her smaller bag, she reached to take her overnight bag off him, “s’fine Sweets, I’ve got it.” They walked down the road they had parked on as Harry kept an eye on his phone map making sure he took her down the correct street, “ready?” he asked as they stood at the corner of the street they were turning down. She nodded her head eagerly and followed him round, letting a soft gasp leave her mouth as she saw the stone buildings that were covered in sprawling ivy. Catching the street sign above her head, her eyes shot to Harry’s who was stood in front of her, their bags resting on the cobbled road as he took a picture of her face flushed with the heat, eyes bright with excitement a wide grin spread across her lips as a bubble of laughter that he would compare to wind chimes left her. 

“Via Margutta? From ‘Roman Holiday’? You’re actually having a laugh, Harry!” Y/N all but launched herself at Harry who had to catch her quickly before they both landed on the cobbles. 

Harry couldn’t help but laugh as he tried unlatching her vice grip, she had around his neck, “okay, okay, let me look at you,” he pried her hands off and held her by the wrists as they both laughed, her eyes sparkling as she looked at him.

“How did you do this?” she asked shaking her head as she looked around the street she knew so well from the screen.

“Saw it online when I was looking for a place for us to stay, know ‘Roman Holiday’ is your favourite, so I just had to,” he shrugged. She didn’t quite have the words to say how much it meant to her or even begin to process how thoughtful he had been, so she just hugged him, another bone-crushing hug that she just hoped got across how happy and grateful she was and Y/N assumes it did when she felt his lips pucker against the top of her head and his arms wrap around her as they embraced in the middle of the cobbles. 

***

Just as they left the apartment Harry stopped her and tied a silk neck scarf around her throat that he had been carrying in his pocket. “Now you look the part, Audrey Hepburn,” he booped the end of her nose before positioning her in the middle of the street, taking a couple of pictures of her on his camera, before pulling out his phone to get one of her on there as well. 

“Wait, take one with me,” Y/N reached towards him.

“Nope, this is all you this time, Miss Hepburn,” he took a few extra candid shots before he stretched out his hand to grab hers and be on their way. They had both explored Rome extensively, both separately and together so weren’t rushing to the major tourist hot spots, however on their walk they noticed the Trevi fountain was only about 10 minutes from the apartment and had to stop by for a wish. Y/N dug through her purse to find them both a coin and stood side by side holding hands, fluttered their eyes closed and wished, tossing the coin over their shoulders. 

“Y’know the rules H, so don’t even ask,” Y/N warned him before he even had the chance to open his mouth. 

“Yeah, well, didn’t want to know your wish anyway,” he pouted defiantly. 

“Don’t lie, you so want to know,” she smirked. 

“Whatever,” Harry rolled his eyes playfully before leading them out of the piazza, “right c’mon I’ve got something for us to do tonight.”

“Ooh, what’s that?” Y/N quizzed.

“You’ll just need to follow me and find out, won’t you?” he kept walking. They walked for nearly 40 minutes, they probably could have done it in half that, but Harry just kept stopping her to take pictures of them both, but mostly her, as the summer sun sunk down around them, casting her in a warm glow. “The lightings perfect, just stop for a sec,” and “wait, jus’ one more f’me,” and utterances of “so beautiful,” as he looked through his viewfinder and at the screen of his phone as he clicked away happily. Y/N had to agree, the lighting and backdrop of the city was beautiful, she didn’t know that Harry was more so calling his subject matter beautiful.

“Fun fact, this is the oldest bridge in Rome,” Harry said stopping in front of it. 

“Yeah?” she replied looking up at him as he took in the area. 

“Mhm, according to google, the Ponte Fabrico,” he put on his best accent, which to be fair, was actually pretty good.

“Where does said old bridge, lead us to?” she toyed with her neck scarf.

“Isola Tiberina, or Tiber Island,” Harry pointed towards the opposite end of the bridge as they began walking over it, “there’s a couple of mad myths about the island but we’re not here for that, they do a film festival every summer, while we’re not seeing a film, they have like pop-up bars and restaurants, thought we could just take a wander round, eat, drink, be merry y’know,” he smiled letting her loop her arm in his as she stumbled over a cobblestone that was raised higher than the surrounding ones. 

“It’s so beautiful,” Y/N sighed while noticing the tents that lined the island along the river as they made their way onto the island. 

They ate and drank their way around the island, rating each of their samples of food on a scale of 1 to 5 but nothing really scoring under a 3.5. Y/N eventually had Harry help her untie the neck scarf that was beginning to feel claustrophobic in the evening heat and after the couple of cocktails they had been drinking began to affect her. He gripped her wrist and tied it around there instead in a pretty bow for her as they finished up their evening on the island and began to walk back to the apartment. Slowly, with no intention of rushing themselves back. Stumbling over each other, not in drunkenness but more of a happy daze. 

“You tired?” Harry asked opening the door to the apartment and going towards his backpack.

“Not really,” Y/N responded undoing the silk scarf from her wrist and taking her earrings out, a move that always made her feel more comfortable when coming home.

“Great, I’ve got something else for us,” and Harry shook the paper bag that had held their shared joint from the previous evening, before dropping it into another tote bag he had prepared that seemed to be stuffed with something soft. 

“I don’t think we can smoke in here, H, even with the windows open,” she said. 

“We’re not smoking, thought we could go up to the roof as well, there’s a deck up there and they have a rooftop pool, as he popped the front door open again for her. They got up to the roof and sat down at the little table and chairs they had there, the rest of the terrace was filled up by the pool sunken into the ground and the tiles were spilling over with potted plants tucked in every nook and cranny around it. Y/N was enamoured looking out over the city and the rooftops of Rome before them. 

“It’s so beautiful,” she said softly.

“Yeah,” Harry breathed and when she turned round, he had been watching her, before blinking and shaking himself out of his reverie. Reaching for the paper bag he turned it upside down and a thin block wrapped in foil fell into his hand. He quickly peeled back the foil and placed the block of chocolate onto the wrought-iron table in front of them. 

“You brought me up here, t’eat chocolate?” She deadpanned, quirking an eyebrow at him. 

“Well, I also thought we could take a dip, I brought towels,” he nodded towards his overfilled tote bag, “it’s not just normal chocolate though.”

“Right Willy Wonka, what d’you mean it’s not normal chocolate?” She grabbed the bar and realised the second she brought it closer to her face when she could smell it, “y’got us edibles?” and he nodded. “Cannabis is a gateway drug, you should know,” she smirked as she snapped the bar into squares. 

“Gateway to what?” Harry snorted, “having fun, relaxing, and enjoying our holiday? Plus, I’m pretty sure we’ve done worse,” Harry laughed as they both picked up a square and let it melt on their tongues before eating. Harry wasn’t sure how strong it was, so they decided to cut themselves off after a few squares each, just to see how it hit them before overindulging. 

It was around 45 minutes later when the pair started to feel it, Harry began quietly giggling to himself as his eyes were drawn to the lights that cast a glow over the landmarks of the city which caused Y/N to start giggling at his giggling. 

“We should swim, I wanna swim, can we swim?” she asked him, standing up grabbing his tote and pulling out the two large yellow and white striped towels he had shoved in there, and she lay them flat on the terrace next to the pool. 

“Mhmm,” he mumbled, grabbing her hand to pull himself from his seat as he emptied his pocket of his phone and the key to the apartment and left it with the remaining chocolate on the table. They both kicked off their shoes before Y/N stopped. “What’s wrong?” he looked over at her, still playing with her hand in his grip, enjoying the feeling of her warm fingers, entwined with his own.

“Don’t have m’swimsuit on, do I?” Y/N grumbled. 

“That’s never stopped you, c’mon let’s just jump in,” he tugged on her hand, “sort of like we’re jumping off the roof innit, like we’re on the roof right now and we’re about to jump in a pool.”

“But the pools still on the roof,” she countered, “you’re so high,” giggling, Y/N kicked off her trousers anyway, leaving her in her underwear and t-shirt, as Harry quickly peeled off his own jeans, the idea of wet denim clinging his skin enough to put him off wearing them in the water. 

“Shh, let me have this, we’re jumping, in 3..2..1,” and with that, Harry quickly plugged his nose with his free hand and they leapt from the pool edge, the warm water splashing up around them. As they resurfaced Harry had a wild-eyed look as he felt the material of his blue Mickey Mouse t-shirt cling to his torso as it became soaked in water. “Y’look like Cousin Itt,” he laughed looking at his best friend, helping her scrape back all her hair that had covered her face, upon the impact in the water, with clumsy hands. 

“My feet don’t reach the bottom, will y’help me?” Harry doesn’t know why she asked, not that he would have said no, but she didn’t really give him the option or time to reject her either as she latched her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist and gripped him like she was a koala. They waded around like that for a while, giggling at the feeling of the water tickling against their skin, every now and again, Harry would squat down and dip both their heads under the water and they would come back up gasping when they forgot to take deep enough breaths. 

As their high was peaking, they decided to get out the water and lie down on the towels and let the warm evening air dry their skin a bit. As Y/N joined Harry lying down on their backs, she felt every bone in her back click and pop as she lay against the flat tile ground.

“Jesus Christ, was tha’ you’re back?” he looked over open-mouthed in shock at the loud crack. 

“Mhm, think my spines just, like, moving everything back in place from the driving,” she sighed, feeling immensely relaxed from the satisfying bone pop, the weed as well mellowing her out. They lay there for a while, taking in the inky swirls of the night sky that was littered with tiny, glittery dots of stars. 

“It’s big, innit?” Harry whispered into the night. 

“Hm?” she mused.

“The sky, s’big.” 

“Yeah, there’s a fair bit of it,” she huffed a laugh through her nose. 

“Makes me feel tiny, insignificant,” he kept his eyes trained on the sky. Y/N furrowed her brow and rolled on her side to look at his side profile. He glanced down to look at her and seen her furrowed brow before his view went back to the stars, “not insignificant in the way you’re thinking, more in a broader sense. Like me and you are just little specks aren’t we, in the grand scheme of things, nothing we do matters in comparison to the universe.” 

“Yeah, I guess, but what we do now in our lifetimes matters now and affects stuff around us now, and that’s significant enough,” Y/N mused, “and if we’re just little specks, then you’re my favourite speck an’ everything you do matters to me, promise,” she prodded his side before he finally rolled over to face her. 

“You’re my favourite speck too,” Harry mused before leaning forward and nudging his nose against her cheek as they both fell into fits of giggles again. “I really missed you,” Harry finalised as Y/N reached up to tuck his hair back that had begun to curl as the pool water dried from his locks. 

“I missed you, too, an insane amount really. Which is weird because we’ve been apart longer when you’ve been on the road, but think it was, like, ‘cause I had zero option to see you an’ there was nothing we could do to change it,” she kept carding her fingers through his soft hair, her heightened senses making it seem like she could feel every single strand as it passed over her skin. 

“Mmm, let’s never do that again, yeah? Our daily calls really got me through it, no matter how late they were sometimes,” he smiled at her, leaning into her touch.

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that, the time difference thing still fucks me up,” she giggled, her mouth splitting into a wide grin. 

“Your smile is something else,” Harry complimented, thumb coming up to caress her cheek before running along her bottom lip. “Brightest star in the sky is right in front of me,” he whispered again. Then he was kissing her, and she was kissing him back. It was different than the kiss shared in Pisa. This one was more charged, and both felt a tingling under their melded lips and shocks under every touch and brush of skin. They broke away to catch their breath before blinking at each other and attaching their lips again, their tongues brushing against one another’s as Harry’s hand landed on her waist and her body shuddered forward to tuck herself in his hold, her hand in a fist, scrunching the still damp fabric of his t-shirt in its grip. Harry needed her closer, he gripped her hip and hitched it over his own, pressing their fronts together as they kissed deeply, Harry licking into her mouth, tasting sweet remnants of chocolate. Y/N still clutched the fabric of his t-shirt in one hand, the other reaching around to hold the back of his head, nails scratching at his scalp and the nape of his neck, causing Harry’s skin to erupt in goosebumps and a prickle of pleasure began to manifest in them both. They broke away properly this time, both rolling back onto their backs, staring back up at the night sky again and falling into bursts of laughter. 

“I think we should go to bed, Harry,” she said through her airy laughter. They packed up, and eventually made their way back to the apartment where they both took quick showers to wash the pool water from them and changed for bed. The bed that they were sharing again tonight. 

As they lay facing each other, Harry began to fall over the other side of his high, thankfully, considering he was driving in the morning again. Y/N however was still flushed and feeling the effects of the chocolate. 

“Your eyes are like, crazy,” as she stared into them, “crazy good,” she quickly affirmed. “Like crazy pretty, they’re green but not, they also look clear which is mental, feel like y’can tell a lot by someone’s eyes,” she murmured. 

“Yeah? What can y’tell from mine?” he entertained her thoughts. 

“That you’re like an angel that walks among us,” she said seriously as Harry cackled into the quiet of the bedroom, “nooo, m’dead serious. Your eyes show that your kind, and lovely and that you never mean any harm and they show when you’re happy, they’re even prettier when you get all emotional, the tears make them look all sparkly, like… like glitter eyes,” she rambled out as Harry smiled and tried to stifle another laugh. 

“Thank you, Sweetness, that’s nice of you to say, I think your eyes are super pretty too,” he said as she subconsciously batted her lashes at him in response, “but I think you should close them now and sleep, yeah?” 

“Mhmm,” she mumbled out before reaching out and attaching their lips together again, slower this time but no less passionate, with languid strokes of their tongues and soft hums coming from each other’s throats. Harry broke them apart as they both breathed deeply.

He uttered one final, “sleep,” before she fell under. 

***

“You’re lying to me, if you don’t think the car definitely sounds a bit dodgy now,” Y/N piped up from the passenger seat.

“I don’t know if dodgy is the right word, different maybe? There’s definitely something different,” and with that he took a glance at her. She looks beautiful he thought, comfortable and so beautiful. She wore a t-shirt of his she had filched from him years ago, so worn and washed you could barely make out the graphic, it more so looking like it was covered in paint chips in varying tones and shades than any sort of image. Over that she had a soft cotton set of overalls or dungarees as she had corrected them when he complimented them this morning. “They’re fucking dungarees, Harry,” she had griped as he rolled his eyes. They had wandered round and took some more pictures this morning, a quick visit back up to the roof terrace where another occupant of the building took a picture of the two of them leaning over the railing before getting back in the car for the drive to their next destination. 

“I don’t think I like it being different,” Y/N scrunched her nose.

“Different can be good,” Harry mused, last night and the night before that’s kisses going unmentioned but hanging and colouring the air around them. 

“Yeah… but I don’t think that applies to cars, gorgeous,” she was right, he didn’t mean different good about the car. The pet name she called him was pealing in his head like a bell, reverberating against the sides of his skull. She had called him that before, but it felt different now, good different.

“No probably not, listen just turn the music up, Sweetness, drown it out, there’s no lights on the dashboard saying something’s wrong. The car’s not been used for long distances in a hot minute s’probably just not used to it, I promise you, we’ll be fine,” Harry reassured her, knowing sometimes she just needed him to tell her it was all going to be fine when her mind started to run too fast for her to catch up with, he was her pause, her reprieve. 

***

They had decided to make one pit stop on their route to their destination. Y/N’s uncle had engrained the phrase ‘see Naples and die,’ in her from a young age, as long as she could remember actually and neither of the pair of them had ever actually stopped in the city before and sure enough it was beautiful. She couldn’t help but take multiple photos of the colourful buildings that lined the port, like little houses made of sweets, while boats bobbed in the water that lapped at the brick surround. Y/N stopped Harry every few paces taking photos of him against the technicolour backdrop and then asked someone to take one of the duo on her phone that was immediately used as her lockscreen, a house of turquoise and pink sat next to one of a tangerine orange behind them and Harry’s arm over her shoulder and her own hand against his waist. The pose they continued to hold as they walked along the waterfront before Harry pulled them into a restaurant, he had found online in his 2-minute search for traditional Neapolitan pizza.

“Genuinely, I think that’s the best pizza I’ve ever eaten,” Harry said dreamily as he rubbed the little food-baby pooch that had appeared at his stomach as they settled back in the car for Harry to finish the drive. 

“I think I’ll be thinking about that sauce and cheese for the rest of my life, y’sure y’don’t want me to drive?” she asked as Harry was fastening his seatbelt. 

“Postive,” he grinned at her, starting the car, “you’ve seen Naples then, reckon you’re happy to die now?” 

“Mmm, maybe not right this second, we’ve got a few more places to see and things to do first H, but I get what my uncle meant now, it’s so beautiful,” she grabbed her phone beginning to swipe through the dozens of pictures that had been added to her camera roll from their visit, including one of Harry with the biggest cheese pull, connecting his mouth and the pizza he was eating, she had ever seen along with the dribble of tomato sauce down his chin, proving it wasn’t just her who was the messy eater. 

“I think I’d be a bit gutted if you croaked it now, Y/N/N,” Harry huffed a soft laugh.

“Yeah?” she glanced over at him.

He quickly glanced over at her, catching her gaze as he furrowed his brow. “Devastated,” he said seriously, nodding, before leaving it at that as he re-joined the main road out of Naples.

***

“Buongiorno Amalfi!!!” Harry shouted with the windows rolled down letting the warm coastal breeze blow their hair around as he gave some rendition of the big crescendo of ‘Nessun Dorma,’ that was more shrieking than anything remotely related to opera as Y/N doubled over in fits of giggles. 

“Catch yourself on, Pavarotti,” she laughed as she scraped her hair off her face that had covered it as the wind blew it around. 

“You’re going to love it here, Y/N/N,” Harry looked delighted as he drove the coastal road to the town of Positano. “Don’t shout at me, though.”

“Why would I shout at you?” she queried, turning in her seat to face him. 

“I’ve, uh, booked us somewhere a bit nicer to stay rather than the apartment I sent you,” his face flushed. 

“H, we agreed on flats and apartments,” Y/N whined slightly, she hated when he did extravagant things for her, she never wanted him to feel like she expected it. 

“No, I know, but we’re stopping here for a little while, thought we would want something a bit more comfortable an’ I feel like we deserve it, you definitely do for putting up with me,” Harry smiled as he pulled up to a private gate before pulling out his phone and his notes app for the gate code, managing to put it in by reaching through the window this time rather than having to pop the door open. As the gate swung open, they were confronted with the large villa, the walls painted a cream colour, with teal shutters and sprawling pink bougainvillea flowers blooming across the walls and terraces. 

Harry let out a low whistle as they took in the sight, “shit, I’m trying my best to be so angry at you for this but it’s so pretty,” Y/N sighed as Harry brought the car to a stop in front of the house. 

Harry let her into the villa to explore with another code from his notes app and leaves her to it while he collects their luggage from the car bringing in their bigger bags as well as their over-nights as this was going to be their base for the next while. Harry left their bags at the front door and was on his way to find Y/N who had vanished by the time he returned, he let the air conditioning of the property soothe his clammy skin as he meandered from room to room on the lookout for his favourite person. 

He found her eventually, out on the tiny balcony of one of the guest bedrooms, small enough that only one person could stand on it with no room for any seating, he watched her from his place against the bedroom door frame, as the gossamer curtains of the balcony doors swathed around her back as she leant against the railing, leaning out, taking in the view. He walked quietly up behind her before placing his hands on either side of her, gripping the railing she was leant on, she didn’t even flinch as she felt his warm body sidle up behind her. 

“See something you like?” he asked, resting his chin on her shoulder as they looked out, able to catch a glimpse of the sea and the pebbled beach below.

“This is ridiculous,” she hummed, “places like this aren’t supposed to exist in real life.”

“Well, f’you like this one, I can do you one better,” Harry gripped her wrist and pulled her back through the guest bedroom and into another bedroom, apparently the master going by its size and grandeur in comparison. He pulled back similar gossamer curtains and opened the double doors out onto a terrace with tiled flooring and a pergola roof that had more of the perfumed bougainvillea flowers sprawled across the gaps. The terrace was equipped with a table and chairs for two at one end and a day bed at the other, but the real prize was the view. A full unobstructed sea view, where they could see how the waves sparkled as they crashed into each other under the bright sun, watching bodies mull around in the water, letting it cool their sun-soaked skin. 

“Fucking hell, Harry,” Y/N breathed out, seemingly astounded by the view and the place they got to call home for the next little while. 

“Pretty, innit?” he grinned at her. 

“Understatement of the century, Har,” her eyes were wide as saucers trying to take it all in while letting the soft perfume of the bougainvillea flowers wash over her senses, the salt-air of the sea below them mixing into the fragrance. 

“Thought we could take a walk this afternoon, explore a bit, take a walk along the beach, dip our toes in the water,” Harry dreamed up their afternoons plans as he took up place beside Y/N as she leant against the balcony, bumping his hip against hers. “Then on the way back up, do a bit of shopping to stock up the house for our stay, we could stay in and cook together tonight, eat out here, enjoy the view,” he plucked one of the paper-like pink flowers from the trailing plants and placed it in her hair by her ear before he bumped her hip again, “what d’ya think of that, sweets?” She nodded her head eagerly as she spun to face him as she stared into his face, watching how his dimples carved their way into his face, leaving perfect little pockets in which she would like to leave a kiss. Admiring the smattering of freckles that had begun to appear across the high planes of his face from where the warm sun has brushed his skin. His bright eyes glittering at Y/N’s obvious excitement for their plans. 

Harry’s plans came to fruition in record time, finishing a quick tour around the house they were quick to grab what they would need for the afternoon, not before Harry was ensuring Y/N’s shoelaces were tied tight because there were a lot of steps and hills and the last thing he needs is her tripping and cracking her head like it was an egg and he wouldn’t put it past his clumsy girl. Sorry, the clumsy girl, she wasn’t his, much to Harry’s disdain. They were staying a 5-minute walk from Fornillo Beach so made their way there first, where they could kick their shoes off and walk through the sand of this particular beach as the others were pebbled. They let the warm water of the Tyrrhenian Sea wash over their feet and lap at their ankles as Y/N’s dungarees were cropped and Harry had changed into a pair of striped shorts for the occasion. They kicked splashes of the salty spray at each other as they frolicked in the surf, Y/N nearly dropping her tote bag into the water as she dodged one of his splashes. They took a tonne more photos, Harry getting very snap happy with his camera, taking an obscene number of candid shots of her as she took in everything around them, to the point he had to put a new reel of film in as they left the beach. Y/N wasn’t slick though, Harry kept catching her taking sly photos of him on her phone in his peripheral and would see her smile softly down at the screen as she reviewed them. He kept his mouth shut though and approached a couple on the beach to take a photo of the pair, ankle-deep in the water for them. 

“I can’t wait to scrapbook the shit out of all these photos,” Y/N bubbled as they climbed the steps away from the beach finally. 

“I’m going to be a bloody fortune getting all these film photos printed,” Harry muttered as he tucked his camera away into its bag and squeezing that into his own tote bag. 

“I’m sure it won’t break the bank, H,” she teased as she pinched his arm before looping her free arm through his as they climbed the steps carefully, making their way to the little market Harry had visited when he was last here where they could stock up the villa for their stay. 

Y/N’s favourite version of Harry was this one, and those that could fall into the same category, and that was him doing seemingly mundane tasks, in this case doing his weekly food shop. She was back out with her phone camera in an instant, taking pictures of him reading the back packaging of pastas, photos of him bathed in the fluorescent lighting of the refrigerators as he picked out meats and cheeses and even a little video of him in the produce section holding out a tomato to her like he just couldn’t contain himself, “I mean, Jesus,  just give this a whiff, you can smell how fresh it is, Y/N/N.” 

Harry was glad he tucked an extra tote in his own because across the three bags they carried now, they were all fit to bursting. Bottles of wine shoved down the sides, fish and meat wrapped up, blocks of cheese in crinkly paper, their fresh produce balancing on top as not to get squished. Harry nearly had a heart attack and all the fresh bread options in the bakery and was going back with an additional loaf with a crisp crust tucked under his arm that he couldn’t fit in the bags with the other ones they just had to try. Before they walked back to the villa, they found themselves sitting on the step outside the market splitting the Amalfi speciality ‘Delizia al Limone’, that they made fresh in store. They moaned around bites of the sponge and custard dessert, the lemony glaze being so refreshingly tart. 

“It’s only been a few hours, and I reckon I could stay here forever, y’know,” Y/N gushed as she licked a stray glob of the lemon glaze off her fingertip. Harry had to blink hard to stop staring at her sucking the digit into her mouth.

“We could always jus’ run away here forever, we’d have a ball I think,” Harry said as he pulled himself to his feet taking two of the tote bags and slinging them over his shoulders before reaching down to pull her up by the hand as she held onto the final bag. 

“Hmm, just you n’me?” she contemplated, beginning their walk back to the villa. 

“Mhm, just us,” Harry reiterated trying to reach for the bag she was carrying for him to carry as well but she just swatted her hand away and placed the strap on her shoulder furthest from him.

“An’ I’ll be the woman who stole Harry Styles away and locked him up in her villa in the quiet streets of Italy, never to return, m’not sure about that one,” she dramatised. 

“You make it sound like somethin’ out of Beauty and the Beast,” Harry tittered turning them up another set of stairs. 

“You’re for sure the beast then, ‘specially with that Stache you’ve got brewing, keep that up and it’ll maybe be a real, full moustache by the time we go back to England,” Y/N taunted him. 

“Oi, I resent that…” Harry began, “you’re definitely all beauty anyway,” he murmured the last part, Y/N not quite hearing them as a tour group passed them down the steps. 

***

They made it back to the villa shortly after and packed away their shopping before deciding to start on their dinner for the evening, deciding on a pasta full of all the fresh vegetables they had bought earlier. They split the chopping and stirring between them as they snacked on antipasti they had bought while dancing around the kitchen to the playlist of instrumental and orchestral music he had been listening to recently. Just before everything was ready, Y/N opted on them dining on the balcony attached to the larger bedroom as Harry had suggested earlier so was taking everything they could need or want out there, setting up the little table that overlooked the sea. She uncorked a bottle of wine and filled their glasses full, and placed cutlery and napkins at their table along with some of the bread Harry so desperately needed. As she was about to turn back in to see if Harry needed any help, he was already walking out towards her with a steaming pasta bowl in each hand and a dish towel lazily thrown over his shoulder. He nudged her with his hip into her seat and presented her dinner in front of her as she groaned at how good it smelt. 

“Bloody hell, H, you’ve outdone yourself here,” she said as he cracked some black pepper over the top of her plate for her. 

“You helped,” he smiled as he took his own seat.

“I chopped some peppers and stirred the sauce, wouldn’t call myself a chef,” she laughed. 

“Hey, every chef needs his sous-chef,” Harry raised his wine glass to hers letting them clink softly together as they both took a sip before reaching for their forks to dig in. 

“You’re too good to me,” Y/N sighed around her first bite, letting her eyes flutter shut at the taste as Harry watched with a shit-eating grin, overjoyed she was liking what he made. 

Over dinner they discussed what they wanted to do while they were there, Y/N wanted to go to a museum she had seen on tripadvisor, as well as time on the beach with their books, and visits to all the little shops and some more time splashing in the water together. Harry mentioned something about a private boat trip to Capri he had seen advertised, that he had most definitely already booked for them before coming on the trip, but she didn’t need to know that. Something triggered the telling of an old story, and they began reminiscing about growing up together in fits of laughter at something that happened in their Year 10 science class and remembering when Y/N bumped off college for a week and a half to visit Harry while he was touring and they both realised that each of their favourite stories to tell people seemed to involve each other in every single one of them. 

“Aw Y/N/N,” Harry sighed as he ate his last forkful, “y’were doing so well,” he nodded towards her t-shirt which now had a forkful of food that had fell off her own last bite. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she whined at herself, scraping most of the food off back into her plate, leaving behind a reddish-orange stain in its wake.

“D’you want me to go get you a cloth or wipe or somethin’?” he chuckled. 

“No, s’fine, I can jus-” she wriggled her right arm free of the t-shirt sleeve and then the left arm following that as Harry quirked an eyebrow at what she was doing, “what? It’s cool, the dungarees cover all m’bits and pieces,” and she pulled the t-shirt over her head without having to unclip her dungarees at all. Seemingly a professional at that move she’s had to do it so many times as she dumped the soiled t-shirt on the tiled terrace. Harry gulped as the top swell of her braless breasts became visible, it’s nothing he hadn’t seen of her before over the years, but after how he’s been feeling over this trip, he’s struggling to keep himself in check. 

“Dance with me for a sec?” she questioned; they could still hear Harry’s playlist floating through the open balcony doors. 

“Uh… yeah, mhm, sounds good,” Harry babbled, scraping his chair back, quickly lifting his wine glass to his lips and draining its contents as she followed suit. Y/N was the braver of the two, reaching up first to wrap her arms around his neck and lean her head against his chest, she could feel his warm skin radiate through the thin button-up shirt he wore and the pitter-patter of his heart thud in his chest. Harry’s arms tentatively wrapped around her waist, settling, for the time being, on the small of her back as they swayed in time to the quiet music in the background. 

“This is m’favourite,” she whispered against his chest, he smelt of summer, a hint of citrus, sun cream and warm skin. 

“It’s Tchaikovsky, I think, sweets” Harry replied, letting his nose run along the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her fruity shampoo.

“Not the song, H,” she breathed out a light laugh from her nose, “although it is pretty. Just being here, no in fact it’s not even here, it’s being with you, could be anywhere, being with you is my favourite, today’s location is just a bonus,” she said letting her eyes flutter and Harry could just about feel her eyelashes blink against his chest and then he felt her lips press a kiss onto his chest. His breath caught and his hands came back to her sides, thumbs rubbing careful circles as they climbed higher. The fabric of her dungarees dipped quite low on her sides and Harry’s hands continued climbing until they found purchase where the seam of fabric met her skin. His thumbs resting on the side of her breasts, the swell visible from the dip in the fabric. Her skin was soft under Harry’s touch as he kept rubbing and squeezing at her sides as she tilted her head back to investigate his face, her eyes as wide as saucers as Harry seemed to snap back into his body and realise what he was doing. 

“Y/N, I-I…” he stammered out, lifting his hands off her sides leaving them hovering there, just not touching. 

“No, s’okay, s’okay,” she unlatched her hands from around his neck gripping his wrists and putting his hands back where they were. “You can touch, it’s okay, you’re okay,” she reassured nodding her head before she reached up and placed a kiss on his jawline. Harry’s eyes slipped closed, his lashes brushing his cheeks as he breathed deeply at the sensation of her plush lips that continued placing kisses and light sucks to his cheek, jaw, and neck. 

“Y/N/N,” Harry sighed lifting his head away from her lips immediate reach. 

“Mhm?” she asked, their eyes searching each other’s, pupils becoming more blown out by the second. 

“I- I jus’-” Harry tried to speak but it proved futile, they had no need for words anymore as Y/N began nodding her head at Harry’s unspoken question and he leant down and pressed their lips together. Their lips rolled and moulded together, Harry’s hands still pressing firmly at her sides, thumbs skimming the supple flesh of her side boob, as if he was trying to commit every ripple of skin, every pore and indentation to memory. He could eulogise her skin. Their kisses became hungrier, tongues meeting and licking the seam of each other’s lips, desperate for a taste. Stumbling towards the day bed, drunk on each other as Harry fell on his back as Y/N crawled over him, situating herself on his lap, feeling him growing beneath her as she gave an experimental roll of her hips against his own as he gasped into her mouth as they continued to kiss, breaking only to breathe as their lips still brushed. Her fingers began to play with the buttons of his shirt, waiting for his permission to begin undoing them. Harry’s hand came away from her side to latch onto her wandering hand to help her deftly undo the top button. After being allowed to do one, she quickly unfastened the rest on her own, pushing his shirt from his shoulders so it became a crumpled mess under his back. She giggled as she took in his bare torso and arms, the black ink of his tattoos hugging his skin, looking like he was born with them rather than something that was added later. 

“What’re you giggling at, Sweetness?” Harry panted as their hips still rolled and grinded together. 

“You’ve got a farmers tan, gorgeous,” she giggled again before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the tan line that wrapped around his bicep from the t-shirts he had been wearing, she nosed up his arm and across his shoulder, kissing her away across. “I like you all sun-kissed, look so healthy and glowy,” she kept kissing down his chest before feeling brave and licking across his nipple before biting softly into his pec. 

“Y/N,” he groaned out before sitting up right with her still straddling him as she gasped at his movement, it bumped their pelvises together as they moved, and she had to bite down on her lip to silence the moan that crawled its way up her throat at the sensation. His hands came to her front and quickly undone the fastenings of her jumpsuit, flipping the straps backwards over her shoulders and letting the fabric cascade down her body to pool at her waist, keeping her bottom half covered but completely exposing her from the waist up. Harry felt his eyes widen, the curvature of her waist and breasts as they swelled as she breathed deep was doing a number on him, so soft, supple, and inviting. Her nipples hardening with the exposure to the fresh air had Harry leaning in, wrapping his lips around one, laving his tongue over the peak and sucking it into his mouth, his hand coming up to toy with the other, squeezing the swell of her breast in his hand, rolling her nipple between his fingers as she gasped and keened under his touch. 

“More H, need more, gorgeous,” she huffed out as Harry broke away from his assault on her breasts, a string of saliva connecting him to her. His hands slid down to grip the fullness of her bum and he rolled them over so he was hovering between her legs as she laid on her back, her hands immediately going to the waistband of his shorts, pulling the tie undone and shoving them down as best she could. Harry helped her out when the fabric became caught up around the tops of his thighs and he kicked his legs free. Harry was visibly hard in his underwear, the bump hard to ignore, especially as he gave another roll of his hips towards Y/N’s as he moaned lowly in his throat at the friction. He gripped the bunched fabric of her overalls from around her waist and began to tug them down, becoming irritated when she refused to lift her hips to help him slide them down, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. He leant back up her lips, kissing her deeply, pulling her bottom lip between his teeth, biting softly, and letting it snap back into place. 

“Please,” he requested against her lips and Y/N lifted her hips immediately as he rolled her clothes down her body. Leaving her in her full coverage, orange striped underwear, Harry’s hands came down to play with the tiny piece of lace that wrapped around the waistline before toying with the satin bow that adorned the front. 

“Sorry ‘bout the knickers, didn’t think I’d be getting them out to show off an’ impress anyone,” she said shyly, focusing on the feeling of Harry’s fingertips dancing at her lower stomach. 

“God, believe me Y/N, m’impressed no matter what,” he groaned as he lifted the elastic waistline and let it snap back against her skin in a sharp bite. He stopped all ministrations and that point and let his eyes do the work, taking her in as she lay atop the day bed, hair splayed in a halo around her while her chest rose and fell in quick succession as she heaved in deep breaths. 

“What’re you doing?” she breathed, reaching for his hands to interlock their fingers. 

“Jus’ admiring, you’re so beautiful, Y/N/N,” Harry said sincerely, coming back to catch her gaze in his as his thumb rubbed the back of her knuckles of the hand that was gripping his. 

Y/N felt the heat rise to her cheeks as she gave a bashful laugh before she latched her hands arms around his neck to pull him down towards her lips in a searing kiss. Well, what would’ve been a searing kiss if they hadn’t both dived into it open-mouthed.

“Ow! Jesus, m’fuckin tooth,” Harry groaned his hand coming up to check he hadn’t gone all bloody gummed when they’re teeth clashed in their plight to kiss one another. 

“Oh my god,” she laughed, showing zero remorse. 

“Don’t laugh, Y/N,” he whined.

“I’m so sorry, H,” Y/N tried to be serious, “open up and lemme see,” she managed to get out before she loudly cackled in his face slapping her hands over her mouth to contain her ringing laughter. 

“Can’t believe I’m going t’need to go to the emergency dentist with toothache ‘cause I was that desperate to kiss you,” as they both laughed at the situation, “okay, be cool,” he pecked her lips, “s’fine, it didn’t happen,” he pecked her lips again. 

“It did happen,” she muffled out lips pressing against his in more short pecks.

“Shh, no it didn’t, just act normal, we’re all good,” and he leant down and pulled her into the passionate kiss they had been aiming for before. They were separated only by the thin cotton of each of their underwear’s and they could feel everything as Harry worked his hips in slow rolls against hers. The heat radiating from their crotches as Y/N moaned and gasped at the firmness hidden in Harrys briefs ticking against her, him aiming perfectly so the little damp patch on her knickers was just transferring to his own. His kisses began to wander from her plush lips, across her cheek, sucking and leaving a blooming mark on the patch of skin just below her ear as she writhed at the sensation, Harry forcing his hips down against hers to keep her from wriggling away from the assault across her collarbones and décolletage, licking and biting more of his marks like a trail of breadcrumbs to lead him back to her lips that he was sure he would need as he got lost in his heaven between her legs. Y/N’s hands came down to card through his hair, giving light tugs when he would pinch another patch of skin on her lower tummy between his teeth. Harry’s own hands were busy too, running lengths up and down her legs, letting his fingertips coast under the elastic of her panties that sat around each leg before they breezed back down her legs, his blunt nails lightly scratching her skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. When his fingers made it back up through the legs of her underwear again, Harry’s eyes flickered up to catch her own gaze in a silent question as Y/N rapidly nodded her head. 

“Take ‘em off, please gorgeous, want them off,” Y/N gulped, lifting her hips to aid the process as he stretched the fabric taught over his hands and wrinkled them down and over her legs. Instead of letting them fall to the terrace floor, like she expected, she watched Harry through her hazy, hooded eyes, sit back on his knees, scrunch her panties in his fist and bring the bundled fabric up to his face where he breathed them in deeply, moaning and letting his eyes close. Y/N’s legs snapped closed at the sight, thighs pressing together to try and give herself some form of release from the pressure that was building in her abdomen, teeth sinking into her lip to withhold the moan that so desperately wanted to make itself known. 

“Fuck, Y/N/N, baby, y’smell so good, I need t’taste you, just a little one, please,” Harry all but begged, prying her legs back open. 

“Go ahead, s’yours, take what you want, Harry,” Y/N let her hips tick forward towards his face to get the message across. Harry’s head dipped down as he lay between her spread legs, kissing her hipbones and the flesh of her inner thighs as she watched his every action. Nose skimming her lower stomach, he trailed it further, through the thatch of hair that decorated the apex of her thighs, breathing her in. She felt his shoulders quake as a shiver of pleasure ran through him as he flattened his tongue and painted it along the length of her soaking heat. “Shit,” she gasped, pressing herself up to balance on one of her elbows as one hand flew to Harry’s hair, scrunching the locks between her fingers. 

“Now I know why I’ve been calling you sweetness,” Harry murmured between flicks of his tongue, “Y/N/N, you taste…” he trailed off, his tongue delving into where she wept for him before tantalisingly teasing the tip of his tongue up to roll against her clit, evoking the most sinful noises from her. 

Y/N’s hips wriggled under his constant assault and her breath was coming out in pants as she succumbed to the intense pleasure. “H, more, baby, need it,” she whined through her struggling breaths, her grip on his curls tugging him as close as he could be as his lips suctioned round her clit, nose resting on her mound. Harry placed his left arm across her lower stomach, effectively pinning her against the day bed. 

“Still, stay still for me, baby and I’ll give you what you want,” Harry said breaking away from her centre briefly and leaning up to kiss her deeply. “D’you taste it? Can you taste how sweet you are for me?” he questioned as Y/N nodded her head limply before he made his way back down. “Y’gonna come for me an’ let me taste you properly, baby?” He didn’t wait for her response and if anything, Y/N was too fucked out to harbour one. He lingered over her pussy, opening his mouth, and letting the spit he had collected land on her heat before he flattened his tongue against the mess he made and shook his head in place to get in deeper. Harry’s right hand was wandering again, tracing patterns on her leg as he ghosted his fingertips up to join his tongue, his middle finger sinking into her with no resistance as her body tried to fight against his forearm that was pinning her in place as she felt the digit slide out and back into her at agonising pace. Harry was beginning to rut his own hips into the pillowy surface of the day bed, desperately needing to feel some friction against his solid cock. The mixture of Y/N’s taste, the glazed-over look in her eyes and the little whimpers and moans that would escape her was causing Harry to balance dangerously on the edge of finishing in his underwear. “Can you take another?” he grunted against her. 

“Uh-huh” she mewled. Honestly not really hearing what he was asking but would have said yes to anything in that moment she was so wound up. The next time Harry’s middle finger slid out, his ring finger joined it as they drove back in, reaching and curling to find that special spot of hers as his lips began suctioning around her little pearl of nerves again. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, Harry, oh my god,” she moaned loudly, both hands flopping down to her sides, fingers digging into the mattress of the day bed.

“Found it,” she could feel him grinning against her as his fingers focused on repeatedly tapping away at her g-spot to send her teetering towards her end. 

After a few minutes of that, Y/N was hanging precariously on the edge.  “M’gonna… m-gonn-” she cut off as Harry removed his fingers from her weeping hole, bringing them up to rub tight little circles against her clit, his tongue delving inside, feeling her walls flutter and pulse around the wet muscle as she found her release. She ripped the arm that was pinning her down off her, latching her fingers into his as her body curled in on itself as she shook her way through her orgasm, Harry moaning in delight at her taste, pushing his hips down to keep himself from exploding, his own fingers gripping hers just as tightly as his preoccupied hand began to let up on her clit. She tugged his hand so he became level with her face again, breathing deeply as she watched him take his fingers that had been inside her and suck them into his mouth to savour every taste he could get. “Fucking hell, H,” she said lowly as a low grumble of a laugh left his chest as he pulled their lips back together in a messy kiss, the wetness on his chin transferring to her own as he sucked on her bottom lip. “You’re turn, wanna taste you now,” Y/N expressed as they broke away from their kiss. 

“As much as I would love that, I can’t, I want to be inside you so bad and I won’t last,” Harry disclosed and when Y/N pouted at his response he couldn’t help the lazy, soft smile that graced his features. “Let’s save that for later, darling,” he nipped her pouted lip. 

“Fuck me, then. Want you inside, I want to feel you, Harry,” she nuzzled her face into his neck, hands running up and down, squeezing his biceps before looping over his shoulders and dragging her nails over the skin of his back lightly. 

“I want it too, baby, so bad. I don’t have any condoms though, didn’t exactly think I’d be shagging anyone this trip, let alone you,” Harry chuckled, slightly in disbelief that this was all happening, no matter how long he had craved it. 

“I’m still on my birth control, gorgeous. Please, I want y’so bad, m’aching, I trust you,” she said sincerely, kissing his neck, sucking on the skin leaving her own mark on him as her hands gripped the waistband of his briefs, shucking them down his thighs quickly. Harry gasped as the cool air reached his cock that was now free of its confinements, standing to attention and the precome seeping out painting his slit shiny. Y/N looked down, widening her eyes at his impressive length, her lips reattaching to his throat, biting and licking with more fervour she was so desperate to feel him slip inside of her.  

“I trust you too, more than anyone,” Harry said gripping her chin to look into her eyes, “how d’you wanna…” he tailed off. 

“Oh, uh, let me just,” Y/N untangled herself from their cluster of limbs rolling herself over til she was presented to him on all fours, her hips wiggling teasingly as she looked over her shoulder at him, seeing him gazing at the fullness of her hips and bum, lightly palming himself as her teeth sunk into her lip at the sight. Harry shuffled himself up behind her taking a grip of himself at his base, ticking his hips forward slightly so he could paint his tip through her folds, letting the wetness that was pooled there coat him. 

“You’re sure, Y/N?” he clarified. 

“Never been s’sure, I want it, gorgeous, I want you,” Y/N pushed back against him, feeling his tip applying pressure at her entrance. 

“Impatient little thing, aren’t you?” Harry began guiding himself into her tight channel, groaning at the feeling as one of Y/N’s hands shot back to spread herself open for him to bury into. He groaned at the vision of her hands dimpling the skin of her behind as she moaned at the pleasure-pain of him entering her. 

“Stretching me so good, Harry, feels so good,” their eyes met as she looked back over her shoulder. Once he bottomed out, he paused, letting her get used to him filling her, and taking a few steadying breaths of his own to calm himself. He grasped her hand that she had been using to spread open for him, holding it tight against her lower back, their fingers knotted together. “Fuck, you’re so big. Y’can move,” she whined, ready to rock her hips back against him if he wasn’t planning on moving. Harry reared his hips back, and was sliding back in within an instant, creating a slow but deep pace as both their breaths caught at the feeling. 

“Fuck, Y/N/N, you’re so warm an’ wet,” Harry groaned, Y/N clenched at his commentary, squeezing around his cock as he plunged back in, “fuckin’ tight as well, so tight, but made to take me, weren’t you?” Harry panted, their fingers still tangled together as his other hand gripped onto the plush at the side of her hip, squeezing, thinking to himself he would quite like to take a bite of the fullness of her hips, given the opportunity. 

“H, you’re so big, made for you, made to take your dick,” she whined, the hand that was holding her up collapsing under the rocking motion, so her cheek was pressed against the bed, bum still presented to him in the air. They were both already covered in a sheen of sweat from their activities and the warm evening air of Positano that lingered heavily around them. They were a mess of shivers, gasps, and moans as they fell into a rhythm with each other’s body’s. “Harder, can y’go harder, H? M’not going to break,” she asked as she began to push back against his thrusts. 

“Whatever you want, baby, but I’ll decide if you’re going to break or not,” his grip on her hip and hand tightened as he began to thrust into her with more vigour, loud smacking as their skin collided echoed around the open terrace, Harry was sure they were going to bruise, but he wasn’t opposed to seeing the bruised back of her thighs peeking out from one of her little sundresses she had packed, the idea made him slam his hips into her harder. 

Y/N pulled her arm, the one buckled under the pressure as Harry rocked into her, out from under her holding it behind her back to clutch onto Harry’s arm that held onto the other, desperate to feel his skin. Harry realising what she wanted, released his grip on her hip, holding both her hands in his behind her back.

“Jus’ needed to feel you, wanna feel you so bad, H,” she whimpered, fingers splaying over his forearms. 

“Yeah?” he panted, his thrusts sending shockwaves through the pair of them. 

“Mhm, so bad, skins so warm,” she babbled and if she wanted to feel his skin, who was he to refuse. He pulled her up to her knees, so her back was firmly against his chest, basically seated on his lap and as they fell into sync in their new position, she could feel him so much deeper than before. “Shit, shit, shit, Harry, you’re so deep,” her moans rising in volume. Harry released the grip on her hands and his own began to trail a path round to her front cupping a breast in each hand, rolling and pinching her nipples between his fingers as he kissed and licked over her neck, that the new position gave him access to, but he wanted her lips. Releasing one of her boobs from his grip he took his free hand and grasped her chin turning it to the side so he could kiss her deeply, her eyes had fallen shut at the deeper penetration she was feeling.

Breaking away from the kiss, he whispered against her lips, “open your eyes for me, pretty, and keep them open, need to see you,” her eyes fluttered open, seemingly with a little bit of a struggle as Harry bounced her on his lap, and bore into his own green ones. The hand he had gripped her chin with was off on an exploration again, dipping down her front, applying a little pressure to her lower abdomen, “feel me right here, baby?” Y/N could only nod in response before her lips were searching for his again. 

The hand that had been busy tweaking at her nipple came up to rest on the base of her throat, thumb placed on one side and the remainder of his fingers wrapping delicately round the other side as he turned her head to look out over the balcony of the terrace, they had made their bedroom for the evening. She could see the twinkling of the water from their upright position, the evening light dwindling and the glow from the moon beginning to paint everything with a silvery hue. “Look how pretty it is,” Harry murmured into the shell of her ear, his hot breath fanning over her. “We’re so lucky to have such a pretty view aren’t we, Y/N/N?” he sounded almost condescending as he pulled her earlobe between his teeth and nibbled. Y/N’s own hands had begun exploring, one reaching over behind her shoulder to find its grip in the hair at the nape of Harry’s neck, fingers twirling the strands he had let dry in their natural curls. The other hand came to rest atop Harry’s that he had around her throat and urged him to apply pressure by flexing her fingers against his. Harry’s eyes were searching the side of her face to make sure this is what she was wanting from him and with a subtle nod of her head her hand fell away to grip his thigh as his grip around her throat tightened, restricting her airflow, and sending a pleasurable buzz to her brain. 

“Fucking hell, Y/N, you’re so filthy,” Harry gasped as their hips moved in synchronicity, they were both teetering on the edge of bliss. “Tomorrow, we’ll go splash around in the water,” Harry kept her head tilted towards the view, “won’t that be fun, look how pretty the sea is,” his fingers flexed again, tightening against her throat once more. “Not as pretty as you, you’re so fucking beautiful, nothing could compare,” Harry whimpered out, the vice like grip around his cock was becoming overwhelming, he took his other hand and let it find it’s home on her clit as he began rubbing tight little circles there. Y/N’s cries were increasing in frequency as she bucked against the stimulation. “Louder, baby, let everyone hear how pretty you sound,” he panted

“Harry, m’gonna come,” she cried out when Harry gave her a second to gulp lungfuls of air into her system. 

“Me too, me too,” Harry babbled, “fuck, where d’you want me?” he asked quickly, if she wanted him to pull out it would have to be now as the elastic of his orgasm was stretched to its limit, just waiting for it to snap. 

“M’on my pill, inside, want it inside so bad, wanna feel all o’you,” Y/N was grinding her hips down to meet his thrusts as they increased in pace as they chased their high. That was all Harry needed to hear, and he was sent over the edge, ropes of sticky release pouring into her, Harry’s fingers tightened around her neck as his orgasm shattered through his body, hips slamming into hers, triggering Y/N’s orgasm as they came together. Her walls quivered and pulsed as she collapsed forward into the bed, Harry following, quickly rotating her onto her side so he wouldn’t crush her, still not pulling out.

“Shit,” they both breathed in unison, as they tried catching their breath, quickly the pair falling into giggles.

“Jinx,” Y/N whispered as Harry hummed a laugh, before placing three kisses on the back of her neck. They rested in silence for a few minutes, catching their breath and processing what had just happened, before Y/N opened her mouth again. “Think I need t’go clean up, things are feeling a little…sticky and not in a fun way,” Y/N said looking over her shoulder as Harry eyed her carefully before he leant forward and caught her lips in a kiss again. 

“Suppose so,” Harry sighed as he started to pull out, both hissing at the sensation. As Y/N stood and went to make her way across the terrace, he stopped her, “come stay with me tonight? Meet me in bed?” he asked softly, Y/N would say he even seemed shy or nervous to ask, as a flush painted his cheeks either from their activities or the embarrassment, he felt asking her to sleep with him in bed. 

 “Obviously, do you really think I’m letting you stay in the big posh bedroom without me? Dream on Harry,” she giggled, her tone light and airy, speaking to him as she always did as if their romp on the day bed never happened. She made her way back through the open doors, the gossamer curtains parting in billowy clouds around her as Harry flopped onto his back, running his hand through his hair, trying to piece together what the hell he and his best friend of nearly 15 years had just done.

***

Bedtime was easy. By the time they had both got cleaned up and dressed, them both in a fresh set of underwear and Y/N wearing another years old stolen t-shirt, any hint of awkwardness had completely dissipated. Harry was already in bed, the sheet pooling at his waist as he sat against the headboard typing a list of all the things they wanted to do while they were in town in his notes app. Moments later, Y/N was slipping under the sheets with him, a sleepy sort of smile gracing her features. Once she had wriggled around a little finding her spot, Harry put his phone down on the bedside table and was shrugging himself down the bed until he was lying on his side staring at his best friend in the darkened room. 

“Y’got some toothpaste,” he whispered, his thumb coming up to wipe away the white stain around her lip as she hummed softly in thanks. They stared at each other for a beat, tired eyes blinking heavily, muscles slightly achy from their endeavours on the day bed on the terrace. Just as they were about to fall over, they shuffled closer to each other until they were wrapped in each other’s warmth, legs tangled beneath the sheets, and they let their lips pucker together in a soft kiss, Harry taking her bottom lip between his own and suckling just a little bit. They broke away with a contented hum and let their eyes slip shut. 

“Minty fresh,” Harry whispered causing Y/N to let out a soft, twinkly giggle into the night mixing with the sound of the sea crashing into the rocks on the beach below. 

***

Harry awoke with a groan as the sun shone through the windows causing him to screw his eyes shut to protect them from the bright rays. He starfished his limbs across the bed, flexing his fingers and his toes to gain some feeling back in his sleep-drunk body. When his hands could reach either side of the bed, he realised he was alone in the nest of sheets and feathered pillows and sat up abruptly letting his eyes flit around the room and peer out the windows of the double doors for any sign of Y/N. With no immediate signs of her, he sat and took stock of how he was feeling after last night. Thrilled, to say the least, at first anyway. Harry had realised a while ago he cared for her much more than the average best friend does, and his want and need for her had only grown after being separated for so long, and now, having spent however many days constantly in her company, his feelings for her were undeniable now. He loved her. He was in love with her, and he could only hope she felt the same. Surely all their little kisses and especially last night meant something. Christ, what if it didn’t? What if it was just some fun while high or drunk? No, they weren’t drunk last night, they had a glass of wine each, both perfectly with their wits about them so that wasn’t an excuse. God, he hoped things weren’t going to be awkward. Where was she anyway? Shit, what if she’s done a runner? Harry thought to himself, his mind running at a mile a minute, barely registering the scent of brewing coffee floating through the air. 

“Oh, you fucker, ouch!” being shouted from outside the bedroom was the only thing that brought Harry back down to reality and the sound of gushing, running water seconds later as he found himself pulling off the sheets and stumbling blindly out of the bedroom to the kitchen where he heard a constant, “ow, ow, ow, ow,” being sing-songed. 

“Y/N/N, you alrigh’?” Harry rasped out; his voice hoarse from being asleep. 

“Was trying to make coffee in that stupid feckin’ pot I found in the cupboard and burnt my finger on it,” she whined, nodding towards the stove while running her finger under tepid water, a trick from her high school art teacher when she frequently burnt herself with the hot wax pot and the glue guns. Harry looked over to the stove top to see the stainless steel Moka pot steaming away on the hot plate, the smell of hot coffee much more intense and inviting in the kitchen. 

“Let me see,” Harry said. 

“It’s right there on the stove,” Y/N looked at him as if he had grown a second head, had she not just pointed out the pot to him?

“Your finger, thicko,” Harry rolled his eyes in faux annoyance as he reached towards her hand as she pulled it out of the stream of water holding it between their faces. Harry’s fingers clutched and twisted her hand delicately to see every angle. “Don’t think it’ll blister, but I’ve got some antiseptic cream in a first aid kit in m’bag,” he still held onto her hand, even though Dr. Styles was finished his examination. 

“Y’brought a first aid kit? Who are you?” Y/N smiled at Harry’s preparedness. 

“Y/N, sweets, you’re a bit of a liability, of course I brought a first aid kit.” Y/N paused her eyes path of taking in Harry’s shirtless form as her gaze shot back to his, mouth agape, seemingly appalled.

“…okay, that’s fair,” she eventually agreed, that yeah, she probably was a liability. Harry’s eyes flickered down to where he still held her injured finger between his own.

Without thinking, he brought the finger up to his lips and placed a kiss the pad of her fingertip, “there, all healed.” 

“Harry,” she whispered, feeling his lips pucker against her digit.

“Hmm,” he asked, post-verbally with a contented hum.

“Uh… um… d’you think you could reach the espresso cups from that cupboard,” she pointed towards an overhead cupboard and when Harry’s back was turned, she felt all the blood heating her face as she tried to calm her racing heart down. Her own mind had been whirring when she woke that morning so had to get out of bed to occupy herself, in her mad half hour she had managed to gather their discarded clothes from the terrace as well as clean up their mess from dinner both in the kitchen and where their finished meal had been abandoned at the table on the terrace. She had been flitting in and out the bedroom repeatedly, taking trips to tidy the balcony but each time she paused to look at Harry who was lying on his stomach in the bed, his arm reaching across to where she had been laying, his fingers scrunching the sheets that had been swathed around her body. She admired is sleep-softened features where his cheek was smushed against his pillow, puffs of air escaping his raspberry tinted lips. It would have been easy to crawl back in beside him and cuddle up to him but what if he didn’t want that from her? What if last night was just a bit of fun? Before she could dwell on it too much, she found herself in the kitchen scrubbing plates and starting on their breakfast and subsequently burning herself on the coffee pot.

Harry poured their espresso and turned back round to hand Y/N’s off to her to see her pacing round the kitchen trying to distract herself but moving manically. 

“Hey, hey, hey, stop, what’s wrong?” Harry questioned; his voice tainted with concern as he followed her round.

“Nothing, m’fine just trying to sort breakfast,” she was slicing bread and chopping fruit a little too fiercely to be considered ‘fine’, Harry wasn’t buying it. 

“Look at me, Y/N/N,” he said softly, and after a beat she spun round to face him, and Harry was confronted with her gnawing into her lip and a dampness glittering at her waterlines as tears threatened to spill. “Oh, sweetness,” Harry sighed sadly, “c’mon let’s go sit outside, we should, uh, we should have a chat, I think,” Harry gave her a smile, trying to reassure her, but he couldn’t help but notice the nagging feeling that her tears were his fault, they should’ve spoken before falling asleep, they should have spoken after Harry kissed her in Pisa, he just didn’t want to ruin the trip so early on if she wasn’t interested. He guided them out to the garden, still clutching both their coffees, he didn’t think sitting on the bedroom terrace was a good idea considering the memories of what happened there last night coloured the air out there. He handed her the coffee when they contented themselves on either end of the painted wooden bench. She took a sip of the searing coffee and let her teary eyes slip closed and tilted her head back to let the morning sun warm her face breathing out a heavy sigh. Silence fell between them, only the sound of the morning bird song and the light breeze rustling through the leaves of the trees disrupted them as they drank their coffee. Almost perfectly in sync, they drained the miniature ceramic mugs and placed them on the ground. Harry kept an eye on her out of the corner of his eye as she played with her fingers mindlessly, not sure who was supposed to speak first. 

“Why’re you s’far away?” he asked turning to face her, a light airy tone to his voice. He stretched the arm closest to her across the back of the bench, beckoning her under it. She looked at him, shyly at first, before that radiant smile he knew so well burst across her face as she shuffled along the bench, cuddling into his side, legs coming up to rest on the bench as his arm wrapped around her shoulder, holding her close. 

“I’m sorry,” they spoke in unison. 

“Jinx,” Y/N said quietly as they both let out an amused exhalation through their noses remembering Y/N saying the same thing last night. She took Harry’s hand that wasn’t around her shoulder, in hers, toying with his fingers in her grip.

“What’ve you got to be sorry about?” he asked bemused. “I’m sorry, I uh, came onto you I guess, that wasn’t fair of me to put you in that position. I- I don’t want things to be, to be awkward or uncomfortable with us, Y/N, but I understand if- f’you think d-different of me,” Harry was stumbling over his words, honestly not sure what he was trying to say, he just needed her to know he never wanted to make her feel uncomfortable or be the reason for her sadness. 

“Wait-what?” Y/N shot up from his side, turning her body to face him properly, he looked so upset. “Harry, no, I wanted you too, what we did last night, I wanted you to do, I asked you to, you didn’t like corner me or anything so, get that idea in the bin immediately,” she took both his hands in hers, thumbs rubbing across his knuckles in a soothing pattern. 

“You looked so sad this morning, Y/N/N, I thought you regretted it or were upset with me if I like coerced you into anything,” Harry’s voice was thick as he tried to reel his emotions in. 

“Christ, no, gorgeous, I was sad because I started overthinking everything, you know what I’m like. I just thought you would’ve wanted to ignore it like we did with the kisses, and I don’t think I could’ve done that, Harry, I just couldn’t,” she slumped against his chest as they both sighed in relief that neither of the pair seemed to regret their actions. 

“I didn’t want to ignore the kisses, I just didn’t want to ruin the trip so early on by telling you I liked you,” he was playing with the ends of her hair as she remained close to his chest. 

“I sure hope you like me; you’ve known me since we were 11,” she snorted against his chest. 

“No, Y/N,” he sat her up so they were looking at each other as she furrowed her eyebrows, “like you, like you,” Harry said, surprised at his own conviction, he always thought when this moment came it would be a lot more of stammering, nervous, voice that sort of shouted his confession at her. “Fuck, I’d use the love word, but I’d rather do that when we’re less snotty nosed and teary,” he chuckled, tucking her hair behind her ear before thumbing away a stray tear that trickled down her face. 

“Thank Christ,” Y/N heaved out before throwing her arms around Harry’s neck and laying her lips on his, catching him off-guard, a muffled hmph escaping as their lips worked against each other’s. He tasted of the bitter coffee, but she didn’t mind, his lips were soft and attentive as he grasped her cheeks in the palms of his hands. His tongue splitting her lips as he licked into her mouth wanting to feel all of her. 

“Wai-wait… what?” Harry gasped for breath as they broke apart, Y/N’s hands carding through Harry’s fluffy curls he had been letting dry naturally. 

“I don’t care if we’re snotty, fuck Harry, I bloody love you, love you, love you,” she giggled wiping the tears from her face. 

“Yeah?” He asked, smiling bright.

“Well, I didn’t shag my best mate of 15 years for a laugh, gorgeous,” she joked nuzzling into his neck breathing in his warmth. 

“Look at me, Sweetness,” there was that nickname, the one that had stuck all these years as Y/N tilted her head up, “I love you,” she could feel his smile as he whispered the words against her lips. 

***

They spent about two weeks in Positano, days filled on the beaches, strolls in the afternoons, cooking in the evening and wrapped up together in the sheets through the night. Well apart from that one night they went to one of the quieter beaches in the area and took a middle of the night dip sans any clothing. Quick pecks in the morning, lazy kisses over lunch and fingers intertwined on their walks. They were leaving Positano in a different place as when they arrived. 

Y/N was in the passenger seat, digging through her bag in the footwell making sure they had packed up all their important bits again as Harry locked the front door of the villa, she peered up through the front windscreen to see him walking back over with that bloody blue hat sat atop his grown-out curls, yellow sunglasses tinting his vision, shooting her a sly grin when he caught her staring. He got himself comfortable in the driver’s seat, belt fastened and turned the ignition on, immediately handing Y/N the cable to plug her phone in to play their shared playlist, turning to look at her. “Where to next, my love?” he asked reaching over to caress the side of her face. 

“Mmm,” she hummed, leaning into his touch, “let’s just keep driving for a bit and see where we end up.”

“Sounds good to me,” he leaned over the centre console and took her bottom lip between his own and kissed her deeply before breaking away and putting the car in reverse to drive them away from Positano and onto their next stop. 

“Wait! Shit, did you lock the balcony doors?” Y/N cried out as Harry slammed the breaks, getting a fright from her exclamation. His eyes narrowed, searching her face as if she was going to tell him the answer to that. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he groaned, pulling up on the hand break before killing the engine and getting back out the car as Y/N giggled away in her seat. Just before he slammed the driver’s door shut to go check he leant back down and was calling into her, “by the way, you’ve got chocolate and jam down your chin this time,” and he tossed a napkin at her that he had tucked away in his pocket for the exact purpose of having to clean up his messy girl. 

***

MASTERLIST

[fangirlies]

Home is wherever you are- (x.t)

Pairing: xavier thorpe x gn!reader

Request: older xavier and reader in their flat in the early mornings, when xavi woke up earlier and decided to make breakfast and he is casually just lulling a melody or even a song (he doesn`t have to be good at it, but come on now, this guy has a nice voice) and reader comes behind him to hug and they gently sway together

Warnings: too much sweetness to handle. (Please let me know if I should be aware of anything)

A loud bang accompanied by some whispered curse words woke you up from your slumber. The world was still quiet. No birds chirping. No adults on their journey to work. Just the serene silence of the outside, leaving you puzzled by the commotion that had emerged from within your four walls. As you discovered the warmth your lover provided every night was no longer felt, you gently turned your head. You discovered an empty edge. The space was filled with your jumbled bed sheets. Your mind was now buzzing with unwanted, illogical thoughts. You uncovered your body from your bed sheets and began heading toward the noise, hoping it was simply your boyfriend who woke up with so much inspiration that he couldn't wait to paint at a reasonable hour.

You couldn't help but sigh with relief as you heard a faint song coming from your kitchen. Before you approached the corner, you could hear Xavier humming the chorus of Taylor Swift's Lover. You couldn't refrain from chuckling at his song choice. She was one of your favorite singers who you couldn't try and convince him to like. Yet after the two of you graduated from Nevermore and decided to purchase your own apartment, he began to appreciate the beat of this particular song. Granted, you did regularly blast it around the flat. He'd have it stuck in his brain sooner or later.

"You're my, my, my, my lover." With nothing but his briefs and socks, he sung as he cracked an egg into the hot skillet. All you could do was stare in awe. Your mind was suddenly filled with all of your fondest moments spent with Xavier. The first time you two first met. The first time he asked you out on a date, which for someone so confident— you weren't expecting to see him so jittery. The first time he said the three words you were looking forward to hearing. When he visited your hometown and was immediately accepted into the family. Little did you imagine that here is where you would find yourself: leaning against the wall, arms crossed, starring at the man you intend to spend your life with preparing breakfast at 5:00 in the morning like some sort of mad man.

You proceeded to approach him cautiously, making sure not to startle him. The only source of light is a dim overhead light fixture. As he noticed a figure nearing him, he turned to face you. He still had droopy eyelids, chapped lips, and a face full of sleep. A gradual but sweet smile came upon his face, making you fall even more in love with him—something you had no idea was even possible.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," he hoarsely whispered, voice cracking at the end. Xavier kissed your forehead before returning his attention to the meal he was preparing. “How’d you sleep?”

You embraced him from behind, wrapping your arms around his middle. You smiled as you realized that you had discovered the heat you had been seeking when you first awakened. Your nose was overwhelmed with the familiar ashy odor of charcoal crayon dust. You could make the case that it was the loveliest scent in the world mainly because it reminded you of Xavier. It was overpowering, yet it provided comfort and made you feel at ease anytime it entered your nose.

"You are aware that it is…" You paused to look at the glowing yellow light that the microwave showcased, “5:47 in the morning, yeah?” You shifted your head to its previous position, his warm and exposed back.

You could feel the vibrations of his laugh flow through his body as his melodic chuckle rang through your ears. "It's never too early for breakfast. Besides, gotta take care of my girl.” Xavier set the spatula on the counter and turned to face you, never losing contact with your touch. His hair was pulled back in a messy low bun, which you appreciated since it allowed you to admire his dopey features. He gently squeezed your butt while putting one of his infamous million-dollar smiles on display, which you adored so very much.

"Did you ever imagine this?" you asked, breaking the comfortable silence. You rested your chin on his chest as you gazed up at him, anticipating his response.

“Imagine cooking at 5 in the morning? I've always been an early bird-" “No silly, I meant this. Us living together and making it this far.”

“Oh-“ Xavier straightened his back and glanced as he reflected for a moment. “Nah, not really. It took me completely by surprise."

You gasped and took a step back to examine his face closely. He stayed leaning on the kitchen counter, a smirk on his face, his gaze drawn to your shocked expression. Once more, Xavier stretched out to embrace you and this time, he held you a little tighter.

“Of course I did. I imagined it the moment you ended up sitting next to me in Thornhills class. You- you complimented my simple sketch of a butterfly and stared at it as if it was the most precious thing in the world when I made it come to life. . . And I was certain of it when you hung out with me the weekend our parents were meant to visit and my dad never showed.  Do you remember what you said to me that night?” His emerald eyes were now peering at you intently after reminiscing some of the sweetest memories you had offered throughout his Nevermore years. You shook your head, terrified that if you spoke, no words might come out.

“You said not to worry and that you could be my family.” His fingers were now tracing imaginary circles on your lower back's exposed skin. "I knew then that you'd be mine one day."

A tear crept down your face as he recalled moments of the two of you that had slipped your memory. Xavier wiped away your tear before it could fall from your cheek. Another tender kiss was placed on your forehead.

“I love you, do you know that?” You mumbled as you clutched him even tighter, as if you never planned to let him go.

"Kinda hard not to, don't ya think, after I just wooed you with these words?"

His cheeky grin reappeared on his face.

"Hey, watch it before I go to bed and leave you to clean up your mess,"  You said, pinching his back softly but hard enough to get him to jolt up.

“Kidding. I love you more, sweetheart.”

“Now, what was it that you were singing earlier?” As he realized he had been caught singing a Taylor Swift song by himself in the kitchen, you looked up at his towering figure and chuckled. He knew you'd never let him forget this one.

“We could leave the Christmas lights up till January,” You started singing. You didn't have the most beautiful singing voice, and Xavier lacked even more, but none of you cared. This is another of those moments you want to remember for years to come.

Xavier’s smile grew bigger before taking your hand and giving you a twirl, “This is our place, we make the rules.”

“And there’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear.” Xavier threw his arms around you again, this time pulling you into his chest.

"Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?" you swayed as you sang the rest of the song together. Or at least as much as Xavier knew. It wasn't long until the scent of something burning caught your attention and interrupted your short-lived concert. Your meal had been spoiled, yet all you could do was laugh about it. You two were idiots in love. Two fools who knew the instant you spotted one another. Two fools who would sing your hearts out while preparing breakfast at 5 a.m. for the rest of your lives. Neither of you would have had it any other way.

A.N: this was very cute to write. i think I broke my own heart? hate when I get these overwhelming feels..

for the bestie that sent in this request- thank you thank you! Imagining older xavier made me so :( i hope it was more or less what you were hoping for. thank you for requesting 🤍🦋🪴🧚🏼‍♀️

Requests are closed at the moment however— inbox is always open! Share your thoughts! Talk to me! Get something off your mind! ✨

[kiwikiwiandkiwi]

whats your all time favourite larry moment? or multiple if you cant narrow it down :) looks/mirrorings/hushed words?

anon thank you so much for this, you sent me on a journey through my tags and my cheeks are actually hurting from smiling <3

this is in no particular order ok (because I can't pick just one moment nor even rank them) but here it is:

I'm starting with this kind of dumb moment. this VIOS interview is just awful and awkward but this part right here always gets me!!!!!! the interviewer asks what makes them want to go to a talent show and louis being his incredible self whispers jokingly "the VIOS" and both harry and louis burst out laughing, it's so adorableeeee, I even looked for the video and exact minute so you can watch for yourself, and also have this gif:

there's also this small moment that I simply adore because it just screams intimacy - harry goes to grab the phone case in between louis' legs and louis doesn't even flinch!!!!!! seriously!!!!

this moment!!!!!! they! were! falling! in! love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *screams*

can't believe they were mortal enemies here, imagine being forced to laugh with your enemy because of an inside joke you both have (that you were also forced to create):

look the FOND!!!!! (and the nose scrunch) on harry's face listening to louis talk about how they met:

BOTH TIMES HARRY SANG STILL THE ONE!!!!!! the first time he sang it holds a special place in my heart because the boy was fonding hard!!!! and louis was obviously there BUT he sang this fucking sappy song only four months ago!!!! in the year of 2022 harry was out there singing about the one and people think they ever broke up like... tumblr won't let me upload more than one video per post but here, watch this:

this embarassing moment. louis was having water fights with liam every show but when he was supposed to throw water at harry this is what he did instead. EMBARASSING:

this actually needs its own post but I have to mention it, of course:

this interview where louis said he finally had a good night of sleep and coincidentally, coincidentally!!! harry had returned to london the day before. louis looked so well rested and the fond (and something more) was, yes, you guessed, showing:

I'm gonna give a shout out to these moments because it's too much to ignore it:

and I'm going to finish with this one because what were the odds of zane lowe mentioning people that've broken their bones during tour when louis just happened to have broken his own elbow!!!!! harry's reaction is priceless. I'll forever be in debt with zane lowe for giving us this moment:

so yeah, there you have it anon. I could go on and on but I think this is a good summary.

[undescribed1mage]

breaking down my doctor who playlist by what from the show they remind me of the most <3

As The World Caves In by Matt Maltese — The Doctor & The Master, more specifically in The End of Time Part One & Two & Last Of The Time Lords. but also. just. vibes (vibes about the doctor holding the saxon master after he was shot).

Happy Xmas (War Is Over) by John Lennon — All of the Christmas specials but mainly, again, The End of Time part one & two. & . everything about that.

Two Birds by Regina Spektor — The Master and The Doctor, again (they're awful), but also twelve & clara with the bird symbolism and clara leaving when he tried to save her, clara being brave and letting go, and Jack & Torchwood &. everything with that (i've never seen Torchwood but I still know like. most of what happens)

Memories by Conan Gray — Martha Jones, specifically in the episodes after her season (also Jack in seasons 3 & 4). With 'It's been a couple months / that's just about enough time / for me to stop crying when I look at all the pictures / now i kinda smile / i haven't felt that in awhile'. 'You see / it's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning / over and over again.'

I Know The End by Phoebe Bridgers — Ten's era, with different companions for different parts like — "When I get back I'll lay around / then i'll get up and lay back down / romanticize a quiet life / there's no place like my room." with Donna at the end of Journey's end, and "Out in the park we watch the sunset / talking on a rusty swing set / after awhile you got quiet / and i got mean / always pushing you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call / you come home / a bird in your teeth." (the last line specifically with the fact that Jack was Supposed to be in a good man goes to war). I also think it works very well with The End Of Time Part One & Two & just. the world almost ending at the end of s4

Your Sister Was Right by Wilbur Soot — You know how like. every mother during the RTD (pt1) era slapped the doctor at some point? yeah. just. the doctor in reference 2 rose, martha, & donna & their mothers. as well as the doctor thinking that they're bad news which is something that comes up quite a bit with these songs.

Why Didn't You Stop Me? by Mitski — I don't really know how to explain this one it just. gives me ex-companion vibes, specifically with 'I look for a picture of you / to keep in my pocket / but i can't seem to find one / where you look how I remember'.

Long Live by Taylor Swift — In reference to a companion departure, from the Doctor's pov with 'will you take a moment? / promise me this / that you'll stand by me forever / but if, god forbid, fate should step in / and force us into a goodbye / if you have children someday / when they point to the pictures / please tell them my name.' & 'i had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.' I think, if we're going for a specific companion, it's very the Doctor & Donna coded.

Walking All Day by Graham Coxon — something about how multiple companions have followed the Doctor to the end of the universe (specifically martha & jack but I think it could also work with clara) & how devoted companions are to them, especially the ones that are interested in him romantically (that one rory quote that's him talking about how the doctor makes people want to impress them).

Never Love An Anchor by The Crane Wives — Part of my interpretation with this when it comes to Doctor Who is how the Doctor, after losing a companion, is always 'i will never love again this is the end for me...' & then he meets the next companion & does it all over again (& in specific situations, such as Donna & Amy & Susan & Vicki, they're very similar to the person he just lost), and also how awful ten was to Martha (& Jack) & oblivious to most of it because of the loss of Rose (it's a secret i keep tucked inside my chest / with this heart of mine that's guilty not remorseful / there is love that doesn't have a place to rest / but it would've buried you if it had settled on your shoulders). The Doctor just also (as seen in the Church On Ruby Road) just thinks they're bad news in general (no comment from my end on this) &. yeah

Two paragraphs for this one! The second interpretation I have is specifically the first doctor after the loss of Susan, and how he was (for the end of their time together, which was what we saw in Susans serials) very hard on her especially for her last two serials. Also, him leaving her behind & 'so I did the only thing that I could / and severed the rope that set you sailing from my harbor'. I don't have a lot to say about this but. the doctor & susan make me so :(

Be Safe, Be Good (For Rachel) from Ride The Cyclone — do you ever think about how many deaths (companions or otherwise) (no spoilers please i'm on series ten for nuwho & season two (soon to be three!) of classic who so) the doctor has caused. indirectly or directly. do you ever think about clara & how her family and her students will likely never know what happened to her. do you ever think

Blue Lips by Regina Spektor — originally when i added this to the playlist (back when i was first making it, probably around me watching series five) i had intended it to be about the doctor but now i think it's more about ashildr / lady me and how much she's seen and how much she's lost. she forgets anything she hasn't written down (and rips pages of things she wants to forget out) and she's seen the world in most of it's phases, she's seen societies crumble and rise &. yeah

The Main Character by Will Wood — I have so much 2 say about this one. buckle in. i'm that first person they talk about in all the books.' him being referenced in literally the first episode of torchwood (for valid reasons he is a very important part of jacks story). & 'imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene.' cut to jacks death in everything changes. & 'I loot plot armor from NPCs / well they are to me.' again. the amount of people that have tried to help him & died. specifically one off ones. & 'Villains are everywhere / that's how I know that I'm a hero.' yhe battle of canary wharf. enough said. & 'Her majesty says the royal we demand a stander of loyalty / an agreement to be reverent / link the emperor's new boots' something about tooth & claw. + so much more that i don't feel like elaborating on rn !!!! they even mention daleks in the song <3

Right Where You Left Me by Taylor Swift — SARAH. JANE. SMITH. It is so her coded. The way the doctor left her, and how in School Reunion she talked about how the Doctor was her life (such a good episode btw). & . she was just waiting. for him 2 come back. & . godddd. i'd break down these lyrics too but i'd be saying the same thing (basically just what i've already said) about all of them so. just listen 2 it or look up the lyrics & you'll see.

Thinking About A Potentially Awkward Interaction With An Old Friend by Crywank — another ex-companion song !!! I don't have any in particular for this but i feel like whenever past companions return for an episode or two it's never nearly as awkward as it should've been, especially with Martha & Sarah Jane, especially how much the tenth doctor had grown (& how much Martha had grown !!!) in between s3 & s4 Alone !!!! 'Well memories sure / they're precious / that's true / but I don't want to make any new ones with you' is sooo Martha. & 'It would be nice to underline it / but i know we're both doing fine without the other in our life.' & ESPECIALLY 'yes / time away has taught me that I like this distance from you'.

River Like You by Maya Hawke — the riverdoctorjack polycule is insane. man. & this is on here for them <3 i think a lot about how jack's other male love interests at least vaguely resemble the ninth doctor in some ways, and how he & river are both immortals so they'd be the perfect people to travel with. & how the doctor tries, at times, to separate himself from both of them (much more severe with jack). 'i've loved a river like you before / i'm a river too'.

Motion Sickness by Phoebe Bridgers — Martha Jones deserves to be SO bitter about how the doctor treated her. SO bitter. 'you said when you met me you were bored.' & 'i have emotional motion sickness / i try to stay clean and live without.' & . yeah. martha jones you will always be famous. also 'and while you're bleeding on your back in the glass / i'll be glad that i made it out / & i'm sorry that it all went down like it did.' in reference to the end of time part two.

Smoke and Mirrors by Emily Rohm — certain parts of it. are kind've the like traditional backstory for a companion (with nuwho) like. 19-25 year old girl who lives with her parents & is bored of everyday life & still waiting for her life to begin & then the doctor comes along & she's swept away into time & space & now she's sosososo important !! + 'She walks alone every morning / down the same old street / and wonders how she let her days get stuck on this endless repeat / she wants that movie life / a hero comes to sweep her off her feet / they'll run away'. & there's other parts that could fit but generally. just the same idea

Black Sheep from Scott Pilgrim — 'Hello again, friend of a friend / knew you when / our common goal was waiting for the world to end / now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend / you crack the whip, shape-shift and trick the past again.' literally no other part of this song matters in reference to this playlist. it is just that & the fact that it reminds me of the master <3

The Lucky One by Taylor Swift — companions drive me so crazy btw. specifically companions after leaving the doctor. 'It was a few years later, I showed up here / and they still tell the legend of how you disappeared / how you took the money and your dignity and got the hell out / they say you bought a bunch of land somewhere / chose the Rose Garden over Madison Square / and it took some time, but I understand it now.' with a current companion thinking about a past companion. & just. idk. something about bad wolf & the girl who walked the earth & the most important woman in all of creation & the girl who waited & the impossible girl & so on. the lucky ones.

Mr. Perfectly Fine by Taylor Swift — I've realized that from this playlist it makes me seem like a swiftie but i'm not i just enjoy some of her music & mr perfectly fine is the most tenjack coded song in all of existence. nine being at the very least interested in jack, traveling with him & flirting with him & kissing him & then ten turning around & running away from him & calling him wrong ('mr change of heart'). 'oh he's so smug / mr always wins'. 'hello / mr casually cruel'. 'always at the right place at the right time'. 'he goes about his day / forgets he ever even heard my name' . & last. but oh so definitely not least. ''cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl / i've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her / and I never got past what you put me through / but it's wonderful to see that it never phased you'. I am so emotional about doctorjack can you tell.

Viva La Vida by Coldplay (Covered by Annapantsu) — don't ask me why i didn't add the original version on here i just didn't feel like it. anyways. it reminds me a lot of elevens era, with a good man goes to war & rory's line about how he (the doctor) doesn't make people brave, he makes them want to impress him (SO TRUE KING !!!) & the day of the doctor. i think it could also work with the time war & eight & the war doctor (i've only listened 2 some of eighths audios, working my way through them rn). & Maybe the battle of Canary Wharf. just generally. the doctor. & war. & how he is respected. oh & also him being the PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD IN CRISIS ???

Soldier Poet King by The Oh Hellos — saw a post about this in relation 2 ninejackrose & it got me thinking. rory soldier eleven poet amy king. i think if you tried hard enough this template could fit a lpt of the tardis teams. that's all <3

Little Soldiers by The Crane Wives — the master & the doctor. again. 'on the broken backs of all the words we spared / like little soldiers in the trenches' we're gonna take the metaphors a little seriously here & i'm gonna mention how the doctor has a habit of turning companions into soldiers and fighters. & . again. he makes people want to impress him. i think the rest of the song is still very them but that's the only part that i really have anything to talk about (besides 'i swear that you loved me / i swear that i loved you).

Not Strong Enough by Boygenius — 'Always an angel, never a god / Aways an angel, never a god /Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god' is so. companions in general coded. why can't they just have a nice time :(

Nowhere Man by The Beatles — I think this may be one of the only songs on here that portrays the doctor in a semi positive light :-) !!! — oh wait nvm forgot the lyrics. sorry we're criticising the doctor again (i adore them i swear. what a guy) 'He's as blind as he can be / just sees what he wants to see' @ ten. sorry buddy. you're really being attacked in this post aren't you. 'Doesn't have a point of view / knows not where he's going to.' do you ever think about how the doctor just sort've. wanders aimlessly in between companions. like. sir how'd you end up in victorian london wearing amy's glasses. 'Nowhere man / the world is at your command.' They are PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD IN EMERGENCIES. UNIT why would you let them have this power.

Interplanet Janet from Schoolhouse Rock — Added as a joke . for the sillies of it <3

Partner in Crime by Madilyn Mei — another Jack song (can you tell he's my favorite companion) but only like. a certain part of it (i have not listened 2 it all the way through but i heard a clip from it & went oh my god jack harkness... & here we are). 'Run for it / I'll keep 'em occupied for you / 'cause i love you / i love you so / left me hangin' at the station / but you'll be back for me soon / i'm 'bout to die / yet the only thing i'm worried about is you / something tells me you aren't coming / i guess i'm truly doomed.' it is so INSANELY PARTING OF THE WAYS CODED !!! Me when he sacrificed himself for the doctor & rose me when he was so ready to die for them. me when he woke up from DEATH to the tardis dematerializing and leaving him surrounded by dead bodies so far away from his home (which is the tardis. but yk). he was about to die and the only thing he was worried about was them. something tells him they aren't coming. he guesses he's truly doomed. j just. raigdhdjdhhdjd. he drives me crazy.

Don't Look Back in Anger by Oasis — 'Please don't put your life in the hands of a rock 'n roll band / who'll throw it all away.' so. many. fatalities, tumblr. that's all.

Oh Distant You by Wilbur Soot — okay i've already written this specific part out but tumblr deleted it when i switched from the page that i had the next songs lyrics in so i'm just gonna take a photo of the lyrics that are SO ten post rose coded & hope you read them

am i the biggest tenrose fan? no :( not on their own, at least, however i will accept that he loved & adored her. he loved her So Much. she was the first face that face saw !!!! & there are other companions that this song could work with but in my head. it's a them song. (this would probably be like. at the end of the end of time part two. him thinking about this.)

The Ballad of Lucy Gray from The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes — i've never seen the ballad of songbirds and snakes (or consumed any hungergames media) however i do think that this song is clara coded <3 i can't really explain it but. amelia pond i love you dearly. i think that specifically 'it's sooner than later that I'm six feet under / it's sooner than later that you'll be alone / so who will you turn to tomorrow, I wonder? / for when the bell rings, lover, you're on your own'. her talking about how twelve needs to be on his own in face the raven. & how she needs him 2 understand that he cannot keep her from dying & that it's her time (he's already lost her at least twice, and that's just when we see her in the show). ''cause I am the one who looks out when you're leaping / I am the one who knows how you were brave / and I am the one who heard what you said sleeping / i'll take that and more when I go to my grave' i think this is more twelve or ashildr about her. & how she said 'let me be brave' before she died, and how she slowly became more daring after spending time with the doctor because that's just what he does (not gonna quote rory again but. yk) & how the original clara oswald (not oswin oswald or clara oswin oswald)s first appearance in the show was her standing over her own grave !!! 'Well, all right, I'm bad, but then, you're no prize either / Al right, I'm bad, but then, that's nothing new / You say you won't love me, I won't love you neither / Just let me remind you what I am to you.' clara, you are exactly what he deserves. & vice versa. they are both so awful & it is so insane. the doctorification of clara is so much worse than the other companions.

No One Lives Forever by Oingo Boingo — i . cannot explain this one. it is PURE vibes.

All My Little Words by The Magnetic Fields — last song (as of rn! there may have been more added by the time you're reading this) & surprise surprise. it's a doctorjack song. 'I could make you fly away / but i could never make you stay.' imagine you're jack harkness & the man you loved (& the only other immortal you know) is REPULSED by you. he keeps running away. 'You said you were in love with me / both of us know that that's impossible' i think this is from the doctors pov. it just seems like something he'd think. 'Now that you've made me want to die / you tell me that you're unboyfriendable' the tenth doctor after flirting by asking jack if he wants 2 die & then holding the man that tortured jack in his arms as he died in a similar fashion to jacks first death (being shot in some way). his ass Is Unboyfriendable

[nikibogwater]

I watched The Last Unicorn (1982) with very, very little prior knowledge of the film. And I wasn't planning to, but I ended up taking notes because wow. This movie. It's something.

The very little prior knowledge I had was as follows: it's an old animated film about a unicorn and I've occasionally heard people talk about it fondly. That's it, that's literally all I had going into this thing. It was not nearly enough to prepare me.

Ohhhh I love the scenery! Man, nothing hits quite like a traditional hand-drawn backgrou--OH MY WORD WHAT IS THAT WHY IS IT MOVING LIKE THAT STOP IT

Ohhh, this is a Rankin-Bass production? Well, that explains the animation.

Yeah that is not a unicorn, that's a llama with a table-knife glued to its head.

Ooh, the opening credits play over a lightly animated medieval tapestry! That's so coo--aaaaand they picked the most 80's sounding song I can imagine to go over it, okay.

Yo this butterfly is stoned out of his little buggy mind, maybe he should get some rehab.

Love that it's not immediately clear what the "red bull" actually is yet. Is it a literal bull? Is it a raging fire? Is it the inescapable march of industrial progress?? Gotta stay tuned to find out. (edit: it was literally just a bull and I need to stop reading symbolism into every little thing).

Ok ngl, the "Man's Road" sequence was actually fire, despite (or perhaps because of) the 80's cheese.

Angela Lansbury!!! Man, she just ate this role. Who'd've thought Mrs. Pots could sound so threatening?

I would die for Shmendrick.

Oh that is a very lore-accurate harpy right there. (⊙_⊙;)

Love how the witch's carnival arc touches on the idea of truth vs. wishful delusion. There's a beautiful irony in a movie about a literal unicorn talking about the importance of staying grounded in what is real and truly beautiful.

No, seriously, I would die for Shmendrick. Protect this precious man at all costs.

Can we pretty please stop calling the witch Mommy

"That's my immortality!" eyo this witch is actually a great villain. Really wish she could've stuck around for the whole movie.

Awww, the unicorn is taking care of Shmendrick! That's so sweet! God knows he needs it.

Shmendrick: Run! We'll find each other later! *immediately gets captured*

Have I mentioned that I would die for Shmendrick.

I feel like the entire bit with the outlaws had a lot of connecting shots cut out for time because I really couldn't follow any of what was happening.

Hehehe...That tree looks like a butt. I wonder if they did that on purpo--WHAT THE HELL

*nervously glancing over my shoulder to make sure my family doesn't see me watching this*

Unicorn to the rescue!! Thank heavens.

"That was true magic." Then please don't ever do true magic again.

"How dare you come to me now, when I am this?!" H-hey, nobody told me this movie was gonna go that hard...

Mom-friend acquired! Just in time, too. Unicorn looked like she was getting real tired of being the only one with two brain cells to rub together.

Our heroes: *bracing themselves for what may be the darkest, most dangerous part of their journey* Freakin' Gerry Beckley from "America:" 🎵MOON RISIN'! DISGUISIN'!! 🎵 Gotta love that tonal dissonance.

Oooh hey the animation on the Red Bull is actually kind of good!

Molly: DO SOME MAGIC! Shmendrick: I CAN'T! Molly: YES U CAN I BELIEVE IN U Shmendrick: *does some magic* Molly: NOOOOO WHAT HAVE U DONE Molly I love you, but make up your darn mind.

Love that being turned into a human being is like, the worst thing that could ever happen to the unicorn. Yeah, being human is a pretty awful experience.

Boy there is just empty static behind Prince Lir's eyes. Homeboy doesn't have a thought in his head and probably never will.

Lir: babe look I got u a severed dragon head pls love me

Oh yeah. Marry this one, Unicorn. He's a keeper.

Molly: Shmendrick will help! Unicorn: I hope for no help from him. He is no magician now, but the king's clown.

GURL SAY THAT AGAIN! U KEEP DISRESPECTING MY BOI SHMENDRICK AND U WILL GET THESE HANDS!

The pirate cat is now my second-favorite character. I've known him for all of 10 seconds, but I love him.

He doesn't actually purr. He just says, "Purr, purr." I love him even more now.

"No cat anywhere ever gave anyone a straight answer." Most accurate line ever put to film.

Unicorn, please marry Prince Lir, you well never find a purer source of Himbo Energy than him. Look at him, he's even singing badly for you, you gotta take this one.

"I mean you can't really be that ridiculous magician's niece--" BETRAYAL. OUTRAGE. SCANDAL. I DISOWN YOU, LIR, YOU FOUL SERPENT WHO SPEAKS NOTHING BUT FILTH. I HOPE THE UNICORN BREAKS YOUR STUPID LITTLE HEART

Dang. This guy voicing the skeleton is putting his entire heart and soul into that laugh.

Prince "I love whom I love" Lir will not be stopped even by the threat of potential bestiality. I'd say Husband Goals, but first of all, ew, and second, he insulted Shmendrick so he is dead to me.

"I wish to God I didn't care about anything but my magic, but I do!" Oh Shmendrick, honey... 🥺

Yooo, that transformation back into her unicorn form was actually sick. For a Rankin-Bass made-for-tv movie, this thing pulls off some surprisingly good animation every once in a while.

Yeah, kick his magical red butt, little unicorn! Go save your boyfriend and your family!!!

What is it with Christopher Lee and playing creepy old guys who get thrown off of towers at the end

Wait, no, I only sort of meant it when I said the unicorn should break Lir's heart, I didn't think they'd actually do it!

Molly ditched her outlaw husband to travel the world with Shmendrick and honestly, I'd do the same if I was in her place.

Oh wow. She chose to save her own kind and return to her forest even though she loved Lir. This is actually very bittersweet and--GOTDANGIT GERRY BECKLEY, NOT NOW!!!

Closing thoughts: This movie was an absolute trip and I'm probably going to think it was a fever dream I once had after some time has passed. It's also the only movie I can think of that I would actually want a remake/remaster of. The story was great, though it jumped around from place to place so quickly that it was sometimes hard to follow what was happening. I like the characters a lot (mostly Shmendrick tbh but they're all good), and I wish there had been more time to let them interact with each other. You can see the potential for chemistry between the different personalities, but it's stifled by moments of awkward voice acting and the strange, jittery character animation. With more time to breathe and better animation, this story would really be something amazing. I'm actually very interested in reading the original novel it was based on now, I'll have to see if I can get my hands on a copy. All in all, The Last Unicorn (1982) is a mind-boggling experience with surprisingly deep themes combined with what I can only assume is what you see when you're on acid. If you have any interest, I would highly recommend seeing this thing for yourself.

Yes. Even the Boob Tree. Please. I don't want to be the only one who is cursed to have that scene in my brain.