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writingintheshadowsforever · 8 months

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The Angels Brought Me Back to My Loves

"Can you run it back for me one more time?" You asked the young boy sitting across from you.

His name was Diego, and his loyalty to you was undying and unwavering. You don't remember doing anything to earn such devotion. But that was the problem, wasn't it. You didn't remember a single thing when you woke up from a six month coma.

Not your name.

Not your profession.

Not your powers, which seemed to be dormant since you awakened. Considering you haven't been unable to summon even a spark of electricity. No matter how many times Diego and the other kids tried to motivate you.

Not any friends, family, or significant others you might have.

You couldn't remember a single thing about your life, and the only information Diego could provide you with was. The brave and daring chronicles that began with you breaking into an evil scientist's base of operations to rescue them. And ended with you taking down their number one solider with the power to move the earth itself.

You were pretty sure he exaggerated certain parts of the story, but you never tired of hearing it. Hoping it would somehow help restore a memory or two. If you were lucky enough, all of your memories would come back.

He recounted the story again, breaking down every single detail. No matter how big or small, even throwing in little things he had forgotten about. Or just didn't think were that important watching you carefully. To see if any of it was doing any good and brought a memory out.

But nope, there was no surge of images flashing through your mind. Like you hoped for, you listened with intent, but nothing came back. It was pointless just like the last seven times.

You expected him to grow frustrated at some point with repeating the same tale over and over. He never did, though. Instead, Diego got to his feet to walk crouch down beside where your head was buried in your hands. He placed a comforting hand on your knee and said the same words over.

"Don't worry Avenger, we'll get there somehow or someway. I can feel it."

And there it was that one word that did seem to resonate with something. Deep buried inside of you, the key to bringing it all out. But as soon as you tried to grasp it. It vanished out of your reach.

Avenger the one word that meant everything to you. Whenever someone spoke it or referred to you with it. Your heart beat a little faster. It meant something. There was purpose behind the title, and it was the one thing that you focused on. You might not remember who you were and what your life was. But you were sure of one thing, and it was going to have to be enough for now.

You were an Avenger.

Two Months Later

The rest of the story goes as follows after the three kids lugged you back to the small town. The townspeople became worried the evil scientist would return to take vengeance upon them, and this time you would be in no condition to stop them. With that fear lurking in the back they came to the decision it was best to flee while they had the chance. The only problem being getting you back to the Avengers.

Reaching out to the Avengers was no easy task like it used to be back when the team was actually put together, and had their own system of answering distress calls. Things never really got back to normal after the Avengers disbanded over the Sokovia Accords, and the aftermath of the Battle of Thanos just made things worse. The remaining heroes were scattered and really just doing their own thing these days. If countries outside of the U.S. wanted to get in contact with an Avenger for help. They were forced to go through the government and sometimes the letters were just thrown in random pile by an agent. And it wouldn't be handed off to an Avenger until one of you came by looking for an assignment, or when Sam would go there to pick up all the Avenger mail.

The townspeople didn't have the luxury of waiting around for months for the Avengers to come to the rescue this time. So they took you with them into hiding, and a few weeks later they found an abandoned village to settle into and call home. While Chloe's healing powers might've been enough to bring you back to life. The little girl wasn't strong enough to heal your injury completely, so the small team of doctors, and one surgeon had to work around the clock to keep you alive. Apparently you had coded at least two more times, but they were able to resuscitate you.

When you finally woke up from your six-month coma the entire village rejoiced. Even though you were suffering a serious case of memory loss they were just happy to see you awake, and moving. Although the moving thing was limited to just lifting your arms and turning your head by yourself. A few weeks went by before you were able to ditch the wheelchair, and even then you still had to use a cane to walk.

During it all, Diego was a Godsend staying by your side through it all, and constantly challenging you to push yourself to get better and better everyday. When you were at your lowest wanting nothing more than just to give up. You were still waiting for the day where he finally gave up, and moved on with his life. The other two kids and his mother laughed whenever you made a comment about him growing tired of you one day. All of them insisted Diego looked up to way too much, and felt in your debt even if he had saved your life. Oh and then there was the other reason you had to keep trying no matter how pointless it all seemed. Kai and Chloe neither of them were from this country instead both were relying on you to get them home back to their families. The most frustrating thing about recovering your memories is how random ones pushed their way to the surface caused by the smallest hint of familiarity. The scent of your favorite food hitting your nostrils as you limped past a random home. Suddenly you were sitting at a circular table stuffing your face with a sandwich, so messy the meat inside was falling out onto the wrapper below. The person next to you with his head propped up on his own fist took the time to chastise you from such sloppy mannerisms.

Diego convincing you to spar with him one day, a friendly practice fight ending with him pinned face down to the ground. Your knee digging into his back, and his arm wretched upward at a painful angle. The sparring session was all fun and games until you pulled some lethal move the boy had no chance of dodging from muscle memory.

But while those occurrences had you wishing for your memory to come back. It was one memory in particular that left you longing for the feeling of it long after it was gone. It happened on a hot and humid day the rising temperatures so dangerous not even Diego was willing to risk the heat stroke to get you out of the house. But what the heat in his home so much worse was his mother's decision to bake some goodies. The activity had both you and him seeking solace at the neighbor's house. A nice family who were familiar with you for they were the ones to house you for the duration of your mission.

Once the pastries were done and cooled off his mother was kind enough to drop some off to both of you with a wide smile. While making a comment about the two of you leaving her to suffer in a hot kitchen alone like a servant. Diego planted a kiss on his mother's forehead before shoving the sugary cake in his mouth. You took a tentative bite, savoring the rich and sweet flavor as the white powdery sugar coated your tongue and sides of your mouth. Diego pointed at the mess with a chuckle, and in that moment another person's laughter flooded your brain along with an unfamiliar voice referring to you with a tone of endearment. Both voices belonged to that of a different woman, but your body had the same reaction regardless. Your heart started beating a little faster as your grip on the funnel cake loosened so much. It fell from your fingertips to the floor while you did your best to hold onto the fleeting sounds that had already faded away back to the deep crevices of your mind. Where all your memories were awaiting for you to find a way to unlock them. You grew so desperate to summon those voices again you didn't think twice about eating another sweet, but nothing happened.

No soft laughter this time, or woman calling you something other than your name. But the way she said it told you whatever the word stood for. It wasn't anything bad but the opposite if anything she said in such a loving way you yearned to her say it again. You needed to hear her say it again the way you needed air to live. This was the first memory to hint there was someone out there thinking you were dead. Someone who saw you as the most important person in the world. Someone who's entire world fell apart when you didn't come back from the mission. Someone who might still be waiting for you to come home holding out hope that despite the fact. Its been more than eight months since you disappeared somehow you were still out there. And you were with newfound determination to make it back to them no matter what.

Another week passed filled with more random memories coming out of blue triggered by the simplest of actions, or anything related to smell or taste. One of them did do some good helping you remember your name finally.

Thanks to the physical therapy Diego put together with the help of the doctors. You were able to get rid of the cane and was back to walking on your own without any assistance. This encouraged both of you to start taking your training a bit more serious hoping to get your powers to come back out. But unfortunately any attempt to use summon your powers failed no matter what the two of you tried. The danger tactic failed. The believe in yourself and go for it speech got you nowhere. Even you touching a faulty wire hoping the connection would spark something did nothing. The frustration over the lack of progress continued to build to you finally hit your breaking day. You stormed off right in the middle of a session with Diego.

The kid let all the random items floating high up in the air waiting to be shot down by your electricity fall back to the ground. He called out your name begging you to come back, you were tired mentally and physically. Not wanting to let the kid down, but knowing if you pushed yourself any harder for the day only to come up empty-handed. Would lead to a inevitable meltdown that neither of you would escape from unscathed from. You kept going not sparing him another glance.

Eventually nightfall came bringing quite the thunderstorm along with it, and while most of the townspeople let the sound of the pounding rain with the rumbling thunder lull them into a deep slumber. One determined little kid did the opposite, sneaking out of his home to make the journey to yours. The storm was so powerful you weren't able to tell the difference between the knocking at your door, and the raindrops slamming into the roof. It was his familiar disgruntled yelling that made it possible for you to distinguish the difference finally, and then you were dragging yourself out of your warm and cozy bed to. Yank the door open and drag the young boy into your home with a firm hand on the back of his neck.

"Diego what the hell are you doing outside? Did you not see the mini hurricane raging on out there?" You scolded him throwing in a smack upside his head for good measure.

The action didn't faze or kill his mood in the slightest. He looked up at you with a massive grin plastered on his face. "Yeah and do you know what that means?" He countered your question with one of his own.

The tone of excitement in his voice bewildered you just as much as his presence here. "Usually it would be a great night of sleep for normal people."

Diego shook his head. "Well you're not exactly normal and this is your chance."

"My chance to what? You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

He groaned, rolling his eyes as if it should be obvious. "This is the perfect opportunity to reawaken your powers. A thunderstorm like this means giant lightning bolts if you get struck by one. It could be the jumpstart they've needed to come out all this time."

Now you understood his excitement. the process of trying to your electricity powers to activate again hadn't been easy, and ended in failure more than once. The most you were able to do these past couple of weeks was generate a few sparks in the palm of your hands. "Didn't we already try that?" You reminded him thinking back to the faulty wire he had you touch. The only thing it accomplished was a brief flickering of lights in the house while you were hit with a tiny jolt of power. It was very anti-climatic and kind of embarrassing if you would say so yourself.

"Oh come on, comparing that tiny shock to a lightning bolt is like comparing a candlelit flame to a raging inferno." Diego scoffed following you into the living room where you flicked on the switch. "If anything can give your powers that jumpstart its this" he insisted almost pleading at this point.

Even if you wanted to argue with the kid it wasn't possible while you might not be able to summon or generate electricity beyond a few playful sparks. You could still feel the hum of it, and how it powered every little thing in the village. But tonight everyone had their electronics turned off in fear of a attracting a stray lightning bolt. So the hairs on the back of your neck shouldn't have been standing up the way they were, and the powerful hum that had your entire body tingling with anticipation should've been way less stronger. Instead it was one of the strongest pulls of electrifying power that you felt since waking up. Your body craved it more than anything so what were you waiting for?

"What if it doesn't work? What if it fails like everything else?" You asked aloud realizing it was the fear of failure holding you back. The fear that you were going to stuck like this forever.

"It won't" Diego exclaimed with nothing but confidence.

"You don't know that it won't" You argued unsure.

Diego stared at you with disbelief and for the first time since you woke up. He looked at you with disappointment, releasing a huff in frustration. "It doesn't matter y/n its worth the risk" he said, standing his ground with his hands placed on his hip.

"Damn it y/n if you're not willing to do it for yourself then do it for whoever has you walking around here like a lovesick puppy. They have to be worth it, right?" Diego pressed you even more when you didn't answer fast enough for his liking. His comment at the end got your attention as your head snapped upward with your eyes zeroing in on him.

He held up his hands to keep you calm. "I've noticed a change in your behavior since that day my mom baked those funnel cakes. I don't know what memory it brought up, but I know whatever it was you've been trying kinda hard to make it come back. The key to unlocking your memories might be connected to your powers y/n."

It turns out Diego was more determined to help you get your powers back to full strength than you knew. The kid had a plan just in case this exact opportunity ever presented itself. He already scoped out the area finding the perfect vantage point for you to try and call down a lightning bolt. The strong winds and blinding rain slowed the two of you down on your way, but about forty minutes later. You stood perched on the edge of the cliff with quite the view below of a wider and more dense forest. But tonight in this raging storm the trees before were bent from the force of the gales. Leaves were ripped free from the branches swirling throughout the air. Some of them forming a tornado of leaves it created a haunting sight.

Your eyes drifted up to focus on the darkened sky that casted nothing but shadows upon the land. Every now and then it lit up with a flash of lightning, and with every bolt you felt your heart pull towards it. Diego stayed back hiding behind the trees hoping it would shield him for the wrath of the storm. It didn't matter if the lightning bolt did splinter them you weren't going to let anything happen to him. Either this plan was going to work or you were going to shocked with enough bolts to put you back in a coma.

You took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly preparing your mind and body. The lightning bolt shouldn't be able to hurt you, but then again you couldn't be to sure of your immunity with the majority of your abilities laying dormant inside of you. But it wasn't fear that you felt as the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, or when your hair started to frizz. You were filled with excitement and a sense of impatience as if this is exactly what your body had been craving. This was going to work. It had too.

Deep down inside the connection was still there buzzing with a low hum. A bolt of lightning shot from the sky grazing the forest below, and you were sure the strike took a tree down. Another one followed not too far behind, and the only difference was this one was a bit closer. It was as if the storm felt your presence and was challenging you to tame it. It raged on with the winds picking up greater speeds your hair flowing behind you, and your jacket along with your shirt was lifted from your body letting the cool air hit your skin. The rain started coming down a little harder, clouding your vision. The storm had turned into a ferocious beast intent to knock you down, but you stood your ground. Planting your feet on the edge of the cliff determined to not give it a single inch. The elements weren't going to bend to your will.

Good thing that wasn't your intention because you knew all too well some power just couldn't be tamed. Instead you wanted to become one with it again, and with you let out an agonized cry spill out of your mouth. A plea you were so desperately hoping would be answered. Digging deep down inside you searched for your power urging no commanding it to come back to you. Lightning flashed in the sky overtaking you with its strength. Teasing you with how close you were to colliding with it. You felt a small surge of electricity and sparks of it began to dance in your fingertips. Grabbing a hold of that power you refused to let it go. Expanding your connection to it focusing on the immense source of power in the sky above.

A white hot bolt of lightning shot from the sky colliding with your body. This time lighting you and the ground beneath your feet up as well. For a solid two seconds your were encased in a tomb of three hundred million volts. Diego watched from the distance amazed but still fearing for your well-being. Your body wasn't convulsing or anything, but instead remained still. He continued to hang back in the safety of the trees honoring his promise to you. To not get involved no matter what, and to not attempt to pull you out of the pathway of the lightning. This was his plan after all.

And it was working because yes for a mere second you were in unimaginative pain. It felt as if the volts of electricity was seeping into your skin, worming a path throughout your entire body to destroy you from the inside. Then the pain faded away and you became more alive since waking you from the coma. When the surge hit your brain the flush of memories hit way too fast dropping you to your knees. As you watched your entire life playback like a movie, only for it to stop short. You growled in frustration trying to push more power to the circuits in your brain to summon the rest, but the lightning bolt had served its purpose, and seemed to just evaporate into thin air.

The once brown and rocky ground you were standing on was now charred black. A circle of small flames danced around your form, and the sound of Diego calling your name reached your ears.

You lifted your upper body upright remaining on your knees taking deep breaths in and out. Sparks of blue electricity were now crackling around your entire body. Your powers were no longer dormant, and now you had the majority of your memories back.

It worked.

"Do you really have to go right now?" Diego asked, hovering by the entrance to your bedroom watching you stuff what few belongings you possessed into a duffle bag.The two of you returned from the journey into the mountains not too long ago, and the night was still young. It was going to be at least another three to four hours before sunrise, and while it would've been more ideal to wait until then to depart from the village. You found yourself unable to wait any longer to get back to your life, and your friends. No your family because while none of them weren't related to you by blood.

The bond you shared with the Avengers was an unbreakable one, and you knew without a doubt that Sam and Bucky spent the past eight months. Blaming themselves for your disappearance, and presumed death, especially Sam considering this was exactly the type of mission. He would've done everything in his power to convince you not to go on alone. Oh and that was another thing while the lightning bolt managed to restore your powers somewhat, and awaken the majority of your memories. Not all of them had returned, and there were still blank spaces you needed to fill.

The people in this village had your gratitude and you would be forever in their debt, especially Diego's, but if you were going to get back to full strength, and recover all of your memories. It was time to go back home no matter how hard it might be to say goodbye.

"Yeah kiddo, the faster I get a move on the faster I get back home plus I need to make a quick stop on the way." You told him slinging the duffle bag over your shoulder, the action caused a burst of agony to shot through your body. Somehow you managed to mask it with a tight smile, not wanting to give him anymore ammo to convince you to stay.

"Fine but just promise me one thing" he said, straightening his body to make himself look taller.

You quirked an eyebrow at him with a grin. "Yeah go ahead."

"One day when the Avengers are like looking for new prospects to join the team. You'll remember me, and come back." Diego said, trying to keep his usual confidence, but you noticed the worry in his eyes. Worry that you were going to move on with your life, and forget he ever existed.

"Awww Diego" You chuckled, ruffling his hair. "Of course I'm coming back for you, and I promise its not going to be like twenty years from now or something. It'll be soon after all I still got to get Kai and Chloe back home."

"And what about the bad guys?" "I wouldn't worry too much about them the Avengers probably took care of them sometime after I disappeared."

Eight Months Earlier.

The alert didn't come from you instead it came from Wakanda.

The crazy thing about it was Sam had been thinking about sending Bucky in after you to just to make sure everything was going smoothly. The super solider finally got Valentina off his back, agreeing to join her little anti-Avenger squad. As long as she promised not to interfere with his life, or more like personal vendettas. There were still plenty of names on his list that he planned on crossing off.Just as Sam reached for his cell phone to reach out to him, the giant screen sitting in front of him came to life on its own. On the other side of the screen was a face he knew all too well, and she didn't look happy. Nor did she have her usual calm and focused demeanor about her.

He could see the distress on her face and was on his feet in seconds. "Ayo what's wrong?"

"Y/N do you know her location?"

"Not exactly she's on a mission in Costa Rica." He answered, a sense of dread coming over him.

"I'm sending you her coordinates now, we need you to get moving at once. You can reach her faster than we can" Ayo replied.

Sam threw his hand out to get her to pause before hanging on. "Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

"She's in danger" was the only thing she would tell him before hanging on.

A few hours later the part of forest where your kimoyo beads were still pinging from was swarming with a small team of government agents led by Sam and Bucky. Ayo and Aneka touched down just thirty minutes after them accompanied by Okoye and Shuri the Black Panther herself. Together it didn't take them long to search the area, and the only trace they could find of you was the beads. Laying in a puddle of water with a large pool of dried up blood next to it, and no one needed a DNA test to know who it belonged to.

A few feet away was the body of a large male, and his injuries told a story. They just wished he was still breathing so he could tell them what happened to you. Your body was nowhere to be found, but with the amount of blood loss you suffered. There was no way you could've gotten far on foot, so everyone scoured the surrounding area and beyond in hopes of finding at least. A sign of what might've become of you, but they had no such luck. After failing in the search for you, Sam and Bucky turned their sights on the guys you were sent to take care of. Locating the main base of operations wasn't hard at all with being only a few miles away from your final location. Ayo and Shuri tagged along with them just in cased any of the soldiers were left.

Between the Black Panther, The General of the Dora Milaje, A super solider with a vibranium arm, and Captain American armed with wings, and the ionic vibranium shield. It took literally no time at all to make quick work of the small army of goons armed with machine guns. The man in charge was in trying to sneak out the back, and disappear into the depths of the rainforest. Instead the door was ripped from its hinges when he reached it, and before he could turn around to go back the way he came.

A shiny black metal arm with lines of gold running down its length reached out to take a fistful of his shirt. Bucky lifted him off the ground, and carried him back into the building. Where he proceeded to slam him into a wall. One, two, three times, and on the last one his head connected with hard material. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and suddenly his vibranium arm disconnected from his body. He stepped back as it fell to the floor at his feet along with the near unconscious man.

"What the hell Ayo?" He growled already knowing who was responsible.

She came up to stand beside him with nothing but disdain in her eyes for the man below. "You weren't restraining yourself" was her explanation.

It took all of five seconds to pry the metal arm off the short and stocky man. Sam hauled him to his feet by his white lab coat, and half-drug him to a random office. Where he was tossed into a office chair the momentum sent it spinning out of control. Until it slammed into the wall, and turned over dumping him back on the floor.

"For Bast's sake can you two not be so rough. We need him conscious if we're going to question on y/n's wherabouts" Shuri scolded the Avenger.

Sam and Bucky grunted out a fake apology. Shuri went over to help the leader back to his feet with a firm grim on his forearm. She led him back over to the chair that Ayo had picked up from the floor waiting on the side with handcuffs. As soon as he was seated and his hands were secured to the arms of the chair. Bucky threw a bucket of cold water on him drenching his entire body.

"Ahhh" he gasped shooting up from his slumping. His eyes widened and his hands strained against the bonds when he tried to wipe the water off his face. A second later he started to realize just what kind of predicament he was in. When his eyes settled on Shuri positioned in front of him in her signature Black Panther suit. The mask was still covering face to set the tone, and evoke more fear into him. Ayo stood on her right side just a few inches behind her with death grip on her spear. If looks could kill the man would drop dead in an instant from the way she glowered.

Bucky sat perched on top of a desk closer to the door with Sam leaning back against. Arms crossed over his chest deciding it was best to let the Wakandans handle the interrogation. The rage built inside of him was too strong for him to trust himself to question the man responsible for your disappearance. Especially considering the thing fueling his anger was the thought that all of this was his fault. You would've never been put in this position if he had just listened to his instincts. In the first place and waited until Bucky returned from dealing with Valentina to give you the mission. Instead he let you go alone and now you were gone.

"Where is she?" Shuri asked her voice so calm it was eerie.

"Where's who Princess? You're going to have to be a little more specific." The man said letting just a drop of sarcasm seep into his voice. It earned him a blow to the jaw courtesy of Ayo with such speed. He didn't even realize he'd been struck until the stars cleared, and he spat blood onto the floor.

"The Avenger who was sent here to bring your operation down" Ayo seethed.

A knowing look came over him and there was no way for him to hide it. When grin stretched across his face to match the pure delight in his eyes. Shuri moved with inhuman speed to encase her General in her arms, and pull her back.

"Lula Ayo lula cinga ngesithandwa sakho" She whispered into the enraged warrior's ear.

"I assumed your Avenger was successful in her mission, and would've returned to you by now. You're telling me she hasn't?" He asked out of curiosity and disbelief.

"No she hasn't and her last coordinates puts her about a mile or two away from this place. We went there but there was no sign of her only some dead burly dude." Sam explained walking forward to take over as Shuri took Ayo out of the room.

"Ahhh so she did kill project Earth" the man said his tone emotionless as he shrugged his shoulders. "I figure as much when he didn't return after I sent him after her and my other subjects."

Sam glanced over his shoulder to see Bucky's eyebrow twitch, and he sighed wishing the guy knew how to hold his tongue. No doubt he was referring to the missing kids. He stepped out of the way knowing his strength didn't even come close to matching the super solider. Whenever his eyes darkened the way they were now, and he moved nearly matching Shuri's pace. He wrapped his human hand around the man's throat, and squeezed until it got to the point that every time the man tried to gasp for air. The end result was him choking even harder.

"Those subjects have names and so did that man who died for your heartless endeavors. They were human beings and you stole their life away from them." Bucky snarled dropping to one knee so he could make eye contact with terrified scientist. "The least you can do is remember their names. When this is over I'm going to make sure you know every single last one of them." It wasn't a threat but a promise.

The interrogation went on for a full two hours with Okoye coming in, and taking over after the first hour was up. She had years of experience under her belt witnessing some of the most proven methods to get someone to talk. She had no sympathy for this man, and saw no need to show him an ounce of mercy. But once it became obvious he knew nothing of your whereabouts, and had no useful information on the abandoned town.

Okoye broke the news to everyone and called the interrogation a waste of time to keep it going. Of course Ayo and Aneka who were holding onto breads crumbs of hope right now argued.

"He is lying let me speak with him" Aneka demanded stalking towards the door.

Both Sam and Okoye blocked her path, but he hung back letting the former General attempt to calm her fellow Midnight Angel down.

"Aneka brute force will not work I've tried both manipulation, and torture. He just doesn't know" Okoye insisted.

"He's a demented man who used people as test subjects to give them powers. He would've saw y/n as the perfect specimen." Aneka argued.

"Maybe but that doesn't change the fact she's an Avenger which makes her liability to someone like me." The man's voice came from the doorway. His hand were now cuffed behind his back, and even though there were no tell-tell signs of physical torture. His face twisted in pain when Bucky forced him to continue to humble along beside him. Bruises were littered around his face from the few blows he suffered early-on coupled with the strangulation.

"In case you didn't notice my operation was built off subtlety. I targeted a small town with little to no police force, and hidden away from civilization. I knew no one would come rushing to these people's rescue, and the few kids who I did have brought to me from other countries were low-risk. Runaways with parents who gave up on them a long time ago, and children from a broken home. That's how I stayed off the radar taking an Avenger captive would put on the map, and it wasn't worth it. I ordered project Earth-arghhhh" his speech was cut off in a painful groan.

Bucky had tightened his grip on his shoulder past the point of being just uncomfortable.

"Todd I ordered Todd Jenkins to kill her" he cried in distress. Bucky loosened his hold with a death stare. "His orders were to kill her and bring the kids back. You can torture me all you want by my story won't change."

When no one else opened their mouth to argue Bucky moved along shoving the scientist forward. Aneka turned back to Ayo searching for answers neither of them had. If you weren't taken captive then why were you. Both of them replayed your last words to them in their head having memorized the message by now. And how defeated you sound the horrible coughs mixed in with your words. You were on the verge of death, and the last update Griot gave them on your vitals was anything but good.

He told them you had sustained fatal injuries, and he lost a pulse about five minutes after you sent the message. And that was another mystery why did you take your kimoyo beads off. Aneka had found the beads lying in a puddle of water with tiny drops of dried blood on them. Her heart filled with dread at the sight of them not being on your wrist. You'd never just take them off none of this was making sense.

"Someone had to move her right? She wouldn't of gotten that far in her condition" Aneka said. Her and Ayo returned to the spot where your last fight took place. Bucky took charge in removing Todd's body, so the area was empty now surrounded by trees, and the noises of various animals creating a symphony.

"Maybe an animal got to her" Ayo suggested hating the words as they left her mouth. She hated what the theory implied, and it earned her a glare from her lover.

"You're suggesting a predator took her for dinner, but left behind the man the size of a bull in one piece." Aneka scoffed turning around to walk away.

Ayo caught her by the wrist making her pause. A single tear slipped free rolling down her cheek. The others were still combing through the town, and the forest looking for any sign of what could possibly happened to you. But at this point most of your friends had accepted a dark and ugly truth about your fate. No one wanted to say it aloud though especially Ayo herself, but eventually they were going to have to call the search off. Eventually they were going to have to return back to Wakanda, and resume their daily life. The country needed the Black Panther and its protectors right now more than ever.

Sam was going to have to hold a press conference as well, and speak on your behalf. He knew he could only put it off for so long you were more dedicated to the cause of the Avengers than any other hero. After the aftermath of the final showdown with Thanos unlike others who either went on a break, retired altogether, or went back to their own purpose. Your disappearance was going to be noticed and felt all across the world.

There was going to be tears, memorials, flowers, heartbreaking goodbyes, and three funerals. A public one for the world you fought so hard to keep safe. A private one for your friends who had become family at this point. A secret one for Ayo and Aneka as a piece of them were going to die along with you. The second they were able to admit the truth.

You was gone forever.

Stop One: Clint's Farmhouse

All the down time that came with being a retired Avenger must have been paying off. Because the house along with the barn had some major upgrades between now, and the last you'd been here. When Clint brought the Avengers to his home to lay low and hide from the aftermath of the second showdown with Ultron. You were overcome with a wave of guilt after realizing that had been more than a decade ago. It piled on top of the gut feeling you were already feeling since the majority of your memories returned.

The large two-story home had what looked like a fresh new coat of paint, and the porch was larger more open with a white swinging bench. A set of rocking chairs were aligned along the rest of the space. A flowerbed was blooming with daisies and lilies all around the front of the house mixing in nicely with the perfect cut grass. You got the feeling most of this was Laura's touch with Clint doing the heavy duty work.

Thunk.

"There we go Katie alright sweetheart just do what she did." A familiar voice said. Drawing your attention to the right side of the yard with a considerable distance from the house.

Clint was losing his edge not sensing your presence right away you decided. As you resumed walking in his direction where the archer was holding a archery class from the looks of it. With two younger girls in attendance one of them you recognized as a much older Lila, but the other tall and dark-haired girl's identity was a complete mystery. She was the first one to notice your approaching your figure her grip on the bow in her hand tightening. While the other one inched towards the quiver of arrows resting on her back. For a second you thought she was going too take the shot, but once you got a bit closer. Her grip on the bow loosened till it fell from her fingertips to the soft grass below. As both of her hands flew up to cover gaping mouth. She made the connection.

Clint on the other hand was too busy correcting Lila's aim to pay either you or her any attention. The dark haired girl reached out to smack Clint on the shoulder in repeatedly. A ghost of a smirk appeared on your face as you watched him glance over his shoulder too snap at her. Time slowed down as Lila released her hold on the drawstring letting the arrow fly towards the wooden target board. In the same instant Clint finally turned around too see what the other girl was making a commotion about. You paused your advance a few feet away, and the two of you locked eyes. Tears flooded his vision in a matter of seconds.

"Y/N."

The arrow struck the center of the target board embedding itself. Lila let out a cry of joy jumping up and down clapping her hands together. Clint closed the short distance with one long stride too sweep you off your feet, and into his warm embrace.

"You're alive" he breathed into your ear. "Its really you I'm holding you."

"Yeah Clint its me back from the dead" You reassured him with your arms constricted around his neck. He held you tighter if it was even possible, almost like he was afraid. You'd disappear into thin air if he let go for even a second. The two of stayed like that for what seemed like forever. You weren't going to rush him knowing that while seeing you alive after believing you had perished was a big relief for him. At the same time his brain and heart needed time to process this. But after five minutes or so Clint finally pulled back to get a good look at your face. His thumbs rubbing soothing circles into both of your cheeks.

"I thought I lost you" he whispered.

"You almost did" you replied. Eight months ago you would've said never to that statement, but now you knew all too well how fragile life truly was now.

Clint introduced you to the dark-haired girl. Her name was Kate Bishop and she was definitely a fan. Unable to contain her excitement finally getting the opportunity to officially meet you. Of course she wished it was under better circumstances. You went on to repeat the same tearful emotional reunion with Laura and the kids. Afterwards once the sun had set, dinner had been survived, and everybody was tucked into bed.

You and Clint were finally able to sneak away from the farm. The archer telling you there was something special he wanted to see you. The two of piled into an old school red pickup truck to go on the twenty-minute drive.

"You're really going all out on the whole rancher lifestyle huh." You joked tapping the outside of the passenger door letting your arm hangout the open window.

"Hey be gentle with my baby, and don't mock her." He chided you softly. I'm going to be teahcing Cooper how to drive in this in just a few more months you know" His tone grew softer as his eyes did when he continued. Clint couldn't wait for that day. His family meant the world to him.

The night sky was lit up with thousands of bright stars a sight you presented that much living in a big city. It reminded you of those nights spent in the village sometimes training with Diego. You wondered if the young boy was back home moping around because of your absence, but then buried such thoughts. He was probably working harder than ever preparing for the day you returned to make him a honorary Avenger. The thought made you chuckle a little bit as you followed Clint into a wooded area.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going? You asked eyes scanning the tall and skinny trees that were too thin to hide any real threats. Although you were still on high alert, while you weren't going to admit it. This expedition did trigger some bad memories some that were still buried.

"Don't worry we're almost there." He told you reaching out behind to take your hand into his giving it a gentle squeeze. Clint knew PTSD when he saw and heard it so the change in pitch of your voice was a sign he couldn't miss.

Not even two minutes later Clint pushed back some brush blocking his path, and pulled you ahead of him. It It led to a wide circle clearing that had obviously been cleaned up by someone. The grass that didn't manage to grow out here in the dirt was cut evenly. The ground was clear of all sticks, pine needles, rocks, or anything else that would take away the aesthetic. On the edge of clearing were three tombstones setup a few feet apart from each other.

You let out a gasp realizing what this place was. His whole little private cemetery for his fellow Avengers who were now deceased.

"It might sound crazy but I needed my whole spot to visit them, and just be with them in private. Sometimes to talk or feel some sort of connection other times to have a good cry."

It didn't sound crazy at all when Tony and Natasha died. One had public funeral while the other had a private one. You understood why Tony's was the televised event with only the heroes, and his family allowed to attend in person. But it still felt weird having the cameras there and you found yourself holding back the ugly cry because of it. Not to mention it was practically impossible to visit his grave later on, and get some alone time in with him.

You and Clint walked over to the tombstones. Of course you already predicted two of them belonged to your fallen friends, and you had a feeling who the last one belonged too. And indeed your name was engraved into the top of the gravestone. The other two had a few specks of dirt on them, and some vines shaping around them. He wasted no time in dusting the dirt off, and ripping the vines away. Your gravestone still fairly new and was in perfect condition.

"While I'm not upset you choose to pay me a visit first y/n. I do have to ask why?" Clint finally asked the burning question.

The one you were kind of hoping wouldn't be brought up. Because now things were about to get real for you.

"How did you do it Clint?" You asked lifting your head to stare up at the sky. "How did you walk away from the Avengers? This life fighting the good fight, for the greater good that's all we've ever known." You had this feeling in the pit of your stomach that before you left for the mission. That costed nearly costed you your life had costed something way more important. And it only got worse when you watched Clint interact with his family today.

"It wasn't easy y/n but ultimately I came to the conclusion that my family was important, and I owed it to them to start being there a hundred percent of the time. Instead of giving barely thirty percent of me."

You lowered your head to look at him in the eyes. "But what changed because you didn't give up the hero life until after Ultron. You had a family before that."

"I almost died if it wasn't for Pietro I wouldn't be here y/n, or are you forgetting?"

You shook your head that was one memory embedded deep withing your brain. The look of devastation in Wanda's eyes when Vision swooped in with her in his arms.

Clint took a seat on the a patch of grass, and patted the spot beside him. You did the same but got even more comfortable laying down on your stomach.

"Later on it really hit that if Pietro wasn't as fast as he was. I would've died and my baby boy was going to be born into a world never knowing his father. Nathaniel would've only had the stories told to him by Lila and Cooper. The pictures Laura kept around the house to know what I look like, and that's if she were able to keep them up. If the sight of her dead husband didn't destroy her all over again. That's if the kids hold onto their memories of me instead of burying them in their attempt to deal with the grief. I realized then I couldn't do it anymore the Avenger life wasn't for me anymore. Because the thought of dying to save the world, and leaving my family alone. It broke me y/n it became my biggest fear."

His words resonated with you now more than they would've if you asked him. All those years ago when you had the same question for him, and you understood it.

He could see you were through your own little dilemma, and decided to switch the focus onto you. "They came here you know."

"Who?" You asked a little too fast sitting up on your knees.

"Your lovers asking me if they were any safe houses in that particular area where you went missing. That you would go hideout to wait for help. I gave them the location of all known places I thought you would go. They love you y/n" Clint said.

They so there was more than one someone in your life, and you still couldn't remember either one of them. Yet you could somehow feel the effect of their love. "I feel like I love them too, and I think I screwed up big time."

Clint shrugged his shoulders. "You probably did you suck at relationships almost as bad as Nat did."

"Shut up" you shot back crawling forward to shove him backward. He recovered with a heartfelt chuckle as you settled in beside him. "When fighting is all you ever known its hard to imagine a life without. Its harder to imagine giving up that life for something like love. I know that better that anyone y/n." He said after a minute or so of silence as the two just gazed up at the stars.

"Love, peace, family those are foreign concepts to people like us" Clint continued. "We don't think its in the cards for our life even if we crave it more than anything. And when we do find it there's this fear its not going to workout. That's the thing that keeps you from walking away. You're afraid your little paradise will fall apart the second you go all in, and you'll be right back to fighting."

He paused to turn his head towards you. An emotion on his face you couldn't exactly place. "But when its real y/n its worth it. God the real thing is worth everything." he said unable to hold back the tears. He cried for you. Knowing you almost died because you refused to take a chance upon love.

"I know it is Clint but being an Avenger is in my blood too. I still want to fight to protect that very same love." You argued feeling horrible at the disappointment that washed over his face at your response.

"That's the adrenaline talking and now that you survived a near-death experience. No you actually came back from the dead its going to be ten times worse" He commented in exasperation. As if he were talking to a toddler who never learned his lesson when it came to touching a hot surface.

"Clint I-" you tried to defend yourself, but he held up a hand cutting you off.

"I use to be just like you y/n in case you're forgetting. People have two different responses when they have a brush with deal. He held up one finger. "One it spooks them and reminds them just how precious life is. Most of us know its the most fragile thing in the world because we take the lives of others on a daily basis. But we survive the majority of those situations until one day death comes knocking. Laura walked away from Shield long before I did for that very reason."

Your eyebrows shot upward as you let out a slight gasp in surprise. No one ever really knew why she decided to turn her back on being agent for the white picket fence life. All there was rumors and assumptions.

Clint put up a second finger. " Two it makes you even more reckless because now you feel invincible. You start to wonder just how far can you truly go, and not die. You start to tempt fate." He fixed with stern gaze before continuing. The way a brother would to his sister dating the wrong type of guy. "Fate gave you a second chance at life y/n don't take it for granted, and don't tempt it again."

"I don't think it was fate that brought me back Clint. I think it was the Angels." You replied the hymn replaying in your head from right before you succumbed to your injuries.

"Well thank them and be more careful with your decisions. They might not do it again."

With that the discussion came to an end. Clint knew you was going to hit the road again soon. After all the entire world believed you were dead you needed to clear the air on that. Plus you still had about a few months worth of memories to recover, and you knew exactly who could help you with that. He did tell you if you need another perspective on giving up on the life of an Avenger to talk to Scott Lang. Another retired hero and father who still resided San Francisco, California. It was out of the way of your original destination, but why not you decided. It gave you more time to avoid a major scolding from Sam.

Stop Two: San Francisco

Scott had the same reaction to seeing you turn up on his doorstep, but unlike Clint who shed tears for you with no shame. The former thief turned hero put on a tough guy act only exerting happiness. You felt his tears soak your shirt when he hugged you laughing. When Scott pulled back complaining of allergy season. But when you asked him the same question his usual goofy and happy demeanor was replaced with a hardened face. His eyes as serious as you ever saw them.

"Well for one its not like I asked for this life. I was basically tricked into by Hank who set me up."

"Maybe you shouldn't have broke into his home" You quipped playing along with his joke. Even though it technically was true unlike you and Clint. Scott never signed up for this instead a serious of weird circumstances brought him into this life. But he was more than eager to help Captain America fight during the Sokovia Accords era.

"From day one I got accepted this because I thought it would make me a better man. A better father to Cassie, and it did until it didn't eventually being a hero drove us apart."

You didn't know if he was talking about getting stuck in the Quantum Realm as a result of Hope, Hank, and Janet being a victim of the Blip, or him being locked up after getting captured by the cops. Steve came for him but he did have to plead out for his limited freedom.

"Time is the one thing you can't get back once you lose it. I missed out on so much of her life in prison. Then Thanos cost me another five years, and I couldn't even be upset the way I wanted to. Because me getting trapped in the Quantum realm was the key point to saving the world." Scott sounded genuinely angry about it.

"Death isn't something you can usually reverse once its done. That's it you're gone, and the person is only left with memories. After we defeated Thanos I retired because all I ever wanted was to be able to spend time with my family, and I was losing out on all that putting my life in danger for what."

You raised an eyebrow at his last statement. Saving the world was no small feat.

"Calm down" Scott said immediately when you opened your mouth. "What I mean is there will always be guys like Yellowjacket running around you know."

You frowned. "Who and what is a Yellowjacket?"

"He was my first nemeses I took him down by myself" He stated a bit proud. "You know the small guys there never going to stop showing up. No matter how many of them I take down one will always replace the last. But time with my daughter isn't something I can get back y/n, and those precious moments I missed out on I can't go back and experience them. So I don't care if she's in her teenage rebel phase, and giving me hell. I want to be there for all of it and more. If another Thanos comes along I got your back, but until then I'm retired."

You see now why Clint told you to talk to Scott. The way he put it couldn't be argued with you lost out on almost nine months of your life. And those nine months were frustrating as you tried to piece it all back together.

"Plus there will always be guys like us too you know" he added in bumping your shoulder with his own. "Last I heard Sam had found some pretty good prospects for his new official Avenger squad. The world will always have heroes to count on."

Stop Three: New York

"So Tony created this thing to restore your memory." You mused studying the contraption before with interest and worry.

"Yeah back when I was on the run and Steve started looking for me. Apparently he wanted to help, but said he was no help in playing detective, and did't have the time to hunt down another 80-year old virgin. So he designed this instead" Bucky explained holding a circular crown-like object. You figured it was supposed to go on your head.

"And this was before he found you murdered his parents right?" You winced realizing there was probably a better way to ask that question.

Bucky shot you a dirty look before letting a small smile grace his face. "You're lucky you just came back from the dead y/n" he said running a hand through his hair. Which had grown out a bit more since the last time you'd seen him. Nearly the same length back during the first battle with Thanos. You wondered if it was on purpose or was a result of him grieving your supposed death.

"Yes he finished long before the Accords came into play around the time he and Bruce started working on Ultron" he reassured you.

"And you're sure he didn't modify this thing to erase memories after finding out the truth about his folks." You continued to press on.

"Y/N" Bucky snapped in irritation. "You're making me start to wonder why I missed you in the first place."

"Okay first of all ouch" You feigned like his comment actually hurt your feelings. When in reality it did the opposite amusing you at the most. "Second I gotta make sure Tony could hold a grudge, or are you forgetting?"

Bucky didn't need you to finish the statement to know exactly what grudge you were talking about. The one caused when Steve chose Bucky over Tony, and the two heroes went on to not speak to each other for years. Even when the world needed the Avengers to reassemble at full strength. Tony was still hesitant to make the call.

"I don't think he did" Bucky admitted sheepishly. It was a possibility he never considered until now.

"Did you ever use yourself?"

"No.

"Why not?"

The majority of my memories came back naturally overtime, plus the museum dedicated to Steve really helped."

"But did you ever get all of them back?"

"No but I got the important ones back and that was all that mattered in my opinion." Bucky told you his tone apologetic. He knew that wasn't the answer you were looking for. You wanted him to tell you with a little more time the rest of your memories would just come back. But in reality this machine was your best bet to get them back in a timely manner, and possibly in general.

"Do you think its worth it? Bucky asked when you remained silent.

You nodded. "I have to remember them. I need to remember them. They're worth it." The ghost of the memories haunted you way too much. A laugh here. A smell there. You needed to remember all those moments again. It was the only way you were ever going to feel complete again. You spent your entire life thinking love was never going to find you, but then it did. And you screwed up in a big way, and how were you suppose to fix things. If you couldn't remember them, let alone your last moment with them.

"Alright then let's do this" Bucky encouraged you clapping you on the shoulder.

He helped you get hooked up in the lounging chair which was surprisingly comfortable. Despite how intimidating it looked, and proceeded to place the metal round thing around your head. It fit perfectly, and then Bucky pressed the only red button on the control panel. At first nothing happened you just laid there with the thing connected to your brain. Then the machine roared to life lighting up with power. For once you were grateful your control over your powers hadn't returned fully. Because if it. had this machine might be in pieces as your brain was hit with a surge.

It was nothing you could handle but this surge hit you with one purpose, to find the wiring in your brain in charge of your memories. And when it did the floodgates were open your body spasmed as a tidal wave of images slammed into your head. You gripped the arm rests in a death grip. It didn't hurt but the feeling was equally unpleasant, and your stomach began to do flips as you tried to keep up with everything. Then it was over as quickly as it began and you leaned over to the side throw your lunch back up.

Bucky hung back with a disgusted look on his face watching you rip yourself free with a groan.

"Can it Barnes I know you want to laugh" You grumbled climbing out of the chair.

He ignored your comment only focused on the end results. "Did it work?"

You held your stomach making sure nothing else was going to come back up. Once you were sure the puking was a one and done side effect. You answered him.

"Ayo and Aneka are going to kill me aren't they?"

Bucky pulled you into a bone-crushing hug with a cheer.

Two Hours Later

All they wanted was to spend more time with you. Your loves only wanted you to be safe and sound to proceed with caution. Maybe Ayo went about discussing it in the wrong way, and maybe you should've stayed to listen when Aneka wanted to work things out. Instead of storming out like a angry teenager and going on a dangerous mission alone. There truly was no maybe about the later you were wrong, and it cost you basically nine months with them. Not to mention all the grief, pain, and guilt your death has put them through. Had they found a way to heal from losing you? Did it cause the two of them to fall apart? You knew Aneka was partially upset with Ayo for pushing the topic. That morning while she went out to get breakfast.

The only way to fix things was to confront them meaning it was finally time for you to make your last stop in Wakanda. If Sam ever let you go.

"Sam seriously you've hugged me like seven times, and lectured me for a whole thirty minutes. I need to get going" You pleaded.

He had called your name making you stop in your haste to reach the hangar. Where a quinjet was waiting for you fueled up and ready to go. "I know but there's one more thing I wanted to run by you before you go."

"What is it?" You asked dialing back the attitude. Your interest had been peaked.

"I know you're feeling some type of way I found new recruits for the next Avengers lineup without consulting you. But in my defense you never stuck around long enough to hear me out. You were always trying to be one woman army. It was impossible for you notice the potential in heroes on the rise."

As much as you wanted to argue with his observation. You knew it was true thinking back to your conservation with Scott.

"Just remember in the future the world isn't going to fall to pieces if you take just a small break." He told you as parting words.

"Go on" You demanded.

"You know Clint got Kate as an apprentice, but he's not really in this business anymore. Scott's kid is pretty passionate about the superhero stuff. Rumor has it Cassie never lets him hear the end of it about his early retirement. I got this kid named Eli who's grandfather was a super solider. It turns out he might've passed on the serum to his grandson, and now I'm the only keeping the government off his back. Then Dr.Strange-"

"Have all of us been taking in younger and stray heroes?" You exclaimed cutting him off at Doctor Strange. The arrogant sorcerer was the last person you thought would take on the responsibility of being a mentor.

"You got one too."

Yeah there's a kid named Diego back in that village. He's telekinetic and got a lot of heart. I don't know about Chloe and Kai let them get settled in with their families again."

"Cool well I was just thinking with all these young heroes on the rise. The next generation of Avengers is shaping up nicely, but the only problem is they're going to need. Someone to show them the ropes, and prepare them for this life. They're going to need a real teacher you know....." Sam let his voice trail off staring at you with hope filled eyes.

You picked up on what he was putting down and held back laughter. "You want me to teach them."

"No its just an idea and I don't know Clint called so I know you're on the fence about the superhero life. So I was just offering a healthy alternative. You don't have to run off on missions all the time, but you're still in the game."

It was more than an idea at this point, but you needed time to think on it. Your main focus right now was getting back to Ayo and Aneka. "Ask me when I get back" you told him.

Sam nodded failing at suppressing the grin forming on his face. Both of you knew it would be a while before you returned, and with that you were free to go.

Last and Final Stop: Wakanda

Night had fallen when your quinjet entered Wakandan airspace. No doubt their security systems picked up on your aircraft the second it crossed the border. One of the tribes was monitoring your travel route right now to make sure you moved on to another country. So you knew when you landed in a field near the rhinos habitat. It was only a matter of time before someone came.

You just hoped a certain warrior in a blue vibranium suit found you first. Was she even on patrol tonight your tried to practice exactly what you were to say to them. But any planned speech vanished from your memory when you picked up on the slightest of movements behind you. A soft whoosh sound filled the air the wild too silent for her to keep her mask fading away quiet.

"I don't know who you are but you've made a grave mistake coming here" Aneka warned you in a low and dangerous tone.

Your heart started to beat a little faster and it was a miracle you didn't drop to your knees to beg for forgiveness. Instead you somehow found your voice and replied. "Well I would've use the front door but I knew I wouldn't make it that far, and my last entrance didn't end too well for me. So I decided to take this approach this time."

Her breath hitched as she came to an abrupt stop when you started speaking. Aneka was silent for a long time so long you were beginning to worry. You made a silent prayer that your girlfriend didn't blast you, or bury her spear in your abdomen. You were still healing after all.

You slowly turned around peeling off the hood to reveal your face.

"Stop moving I demand you cease all movement at once" Aneka demanded. But her orders fell flat as her voice lacked any authority, or seriousness. She sounded hopeful and unsure. A hundred thoughts were running through her brain at the moment, but it all came to an end when her confused eyes met your soft ones brimming with tears.

"Hey Aneka" You greeted her softly throwing in a quick wave. Her entire world came crashing again when her name left your mouth. Here you were her lover. Her heart. Her everything standing before her when you were supposed to be long and gone. Aneka and Ayo attended your funeral nine months go. They grieved you. It took all their strength and endurance to keep going with each other after your untimely demise. For the longest time Ayo blamed herself for your fate, and at first Aneka did nothing to reassure her it was anything but her fault.

In all honesty for a while Aneka did blame Ayo needing someone to blame, and take her anger out other than you. Because you were gone and the opportunity to yell at you for being so stupid and reckless was never gong to come. She didn't want to admit you had played a hand in your own death. Aneka wanted to be angry at the world but not you.

Until now in this very moment and you saw all the different emotions overtake her features. Pure shock at first followed by disbelief as she opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Then anger and her before she could stop herself her fist slammed into your gut. Agony tore through your stomach as she struck the fatal injury that was still in the healing process. You let out a cry hunching over to hug your stomach as the pain spread everywhere else.

"I guess I deserved that' you wheezed lifting your head to glance up at her.

Aneka's mouth dropped as it finally hit her you were indeed real, and not some illusion her brain conjured up. It had happened many times in the past couple of months with her dreams. They were so vivid and real whenever she woke from them. Ayo had to remind her you were gone and wasn't coming back. She relived your death every single time breaking down in her lover's arms.

'Y/N" she said your name like a prayer. You stood up straight again ignoring the lingering pain. There was only an inch of space left between your bodies now, and it still felt like she was miles away. You wanted to wrap your arms around her, and kiss her deeply. But it wouldn't be fair to her after everything she'd been through. You had to let her decide the pace of things.

"You're alive" Aneka whimpered a hand hovering over your cheek wanting to caress you. But she hesitated out of fear you would disappear again. You leaned into the hand nuzzling it.

"Its me Aneka I promise this is real."

"You promised me that forever and it never was" she shot back.

"Whatever I have to do to convince you name it. I'll do it" you told her.

"Kiss me like you mean it, and don't ever stop. Please don't ever stop" she begged. Just like that your willpower was gone and you granted her wish closing the distance to press your lips to hers. The kiss ignited something in both of you, and then Aneka started going down.

You followed her on the way down to ground not letting her lips disconnect from yours for even a second. She leaned back into a laid position, and you hovered over her. Lips sealed together in a dance of desperation, and love. She moaned into the kiss coiling her arms around your body like a snake pulling your ontop of hers fully. Your hands rested on either side of her head.

"Tell me you're real" Aneka murmured against your lips.

"I'm real" you assured her.

She pulled back. "Tell me something only you would know."

"When you first me you insisted we were meant to be together even though you weren't suppose to yet. Because I still hadn't warmed up to Ayo yet." You said thinking it back to the early stages of your relationship with them. How you held a grudge against Ayo for flipping you over her shoulder onto the hard cold floor in the lab. "You also offered to give me a butt massage that day to make up for what Ayo did" you threw in for good measure."

"My love its really you" Aneka whispered guiding your head into the crook of her neck. So she could bury her face into your shoulder breathing in your scent. "I'm never letting you go again. I will handcuff the two of us together if I have too."

You chuckled pecking her shoulder. She shivered at the feel of your lips on her body tightening her hold on your hips.

"Aneka are you here? Answer me sithandwa sam" Another familiar voice spoke up only a few feet away. Her footsteps approaching fast and you lifted your head right as Ayo appeared over the two of you. She must have not gotten a good look at your face, because her hand reached out to grip the back of your neck in a tight grip.

Ayo hauled you to her feet with vengeance because the General hadn't known anything else since your death. She took out her anger on her enemies at any given opportunity. You deserved her wrath as much as Aneka's, but the utter hatred in her eyes terrified. Your injury wouldn't survive a blow from her especially if she didn't recognize you.

"Ayo no don't" Aneka cried out in alarm on her feet in flash yanking you out of harm's way with an arm secured around your waist.

"Why are protecting the intruder? Have you lost your mind?" Ayo went off but her eyes settled on you, and just like Aneka. The General went through a multitude of emotions, but she came to her senses quicker. Because she knew her eyes weren't deceiving her with the way her lover stood protectively in front of you.

"Stand aside Aneka let me see her" Ayo said a bit breathless. Aneka listened stepping to the side. Tears pricked at her eyes as she opened her mouth to say something, but a sob ripped itself free from her throat.

"How?" she whispered launching herself forward and you caught her body in your arms ignoring the pain once again. Ayo didn't care how truly she was just happy to see you alive. She was happy to be able to touch you again, and wanted nothing more than to take you home. Crawl into bed with you sandwiched between her and Aneka falling asleep together. She wanted morning to come to wake up with you sprawled out before her in some weird position. Ayo wanted to wake up to you to make sure this really wasn't a dream.

For now she'd accept resting in your arms. Eventually Aneka hugged both of you, and the three of you stayed like that for a very long time.

The Next Day

"Its her alright DNA doesn't lie that's our y/n." Shuri announced to everyone waiting around in her private office in the lab. You were still outside resting on the sand table fast asleep. You had been in go mode for the past couple of days, and exhaustion finally caught up to you.

"She is a bit malnourished and out of shape, but other than that she's relatively healthy besides that nasty abdomen injury. I'm assuming that's the one that took her out. Whoever healed her did the best they could, but it'll cause lingeirng problems if not taken care of properly. She'll need probably need physical therapy as well-" Shuri was rambling now while her hands shook.

Nakia was the one to waltz over placing her hand over the tablet in her hand. Shuri looked up at her ready to protest. "Y/N is alive and well you can turn off doctor and scientist mode for five seconds sister.

"I'm fine" Shuri insisted.

"Come here" Nakia told her opening her arms wide for the Princess to step into them. She released a shaky breath keeping the sobs at bay unlike. Okoye who broke down at sight of Ayo and Aneka walking through the doors last night with you in tow. That's when the tests began.

The rest of the day was a bit blur as you slept through most of it. Ayo would move you to a bed in the infirmary after a while. Where her and Aneka took turns cuddling with you. Neither wanted you to be out of there sight for to you long, so later on when evening came and you were finally awake. They hovered on the balcony below where you could see them while talking with Shuri.

The Princess had requested your audience, and who were you to even think about turning her down.

"I will take care of your injury, and Okoye will be in charge of your phsyical therapy to get you back to full strength. If you want her too" Shuri said staring out at the Golden City. The sight never got old as you followed her gaze.

"I'm sensing a but" You pushed her.

"On the condition you promise us you attempt to run off on any missions. Until you're cleared by both me and Shuri" Okoye declared walking up the three steps to the balcony. She gave you a brief hug.

"So no more Avenger stuff until you two say so basically."

"Yes for you and their sakes" Shuri answered jerking her chin towards Ayo and Aneka. The two women stood side-by-side to each other shoulders pressed together. You wouldn't be surprised if they had some ear tech to eavesdrop.

"When I told them not to break my favorite American's heart. The same went for you as well you know" Okoye stated taking up position on your other side. She leaned forward on the edge of the balcony.

"What's it going to be y/n?" Shuri asked trying to keep the hint of fear out her voice. You could say and she'd still heal you not being able to leave in pain, and there was plenty of other heroes capable of helping you recover.

"Guys I can barely throw a decent punch, and I'm at the baby stages of controlling powers again. My death hit reset on everything I wasn't going on a mission anytime soon regardless, so hell yeah I accept your terms" You finally said.

Both of them let out a sigh of relief causing you to laugh. Shuri let you go to be with your girlfriends, and when you attempted to leapt down from a story up. Just to give them a heart attack Okoye reminded you she could make physical therapy absolutely unbearable. You disappeared with an apology taking the elevator.

Ayo and Aneka were finally able to take you home again. Leading you to the bedroom and you took everything in. Nothing had changed even the alarm clock you fried while in bed with them remained on the nightstand.

"Hey we have something for you by the way" Aneka said.

You sat down on the bed. "You guys didn't have to get me gifts. My birthday didn't pass, and we still have two months before Christmas."

"No its something that already belonged to you. An item that would've made finding you a whole lot easier saving us all this time and grief. Ayo said walking into the room with a small black box in her hand.

You knew instantly what she was referring to, and let out a nervous chuckle. She sat on your left and Aneka on the right. The box was placed in your lap.

"You can do honor of opening it."

It was your kimoyo beads.

For the first time since getting you back neither of them looked too happy. You slid them back onto your wrist and the bracelet came to life lighting up with a chirp.

"Y/N it is good to have you back" Griot greeted you.

"How did you lose them in the first place? Aneka finally asked.

"Its a long story" You told them.

"We have time" Ayo replied.

You grinned in happiness knowing you were right where you belong. You glanced over your shoulder to catch the sight of two lone stars in sky by themselves through the window. You thanked the Angels for bringing you back to your loves deciding that y'all did have time.

All the time in the world because you weren't going anywhere for a long time.

Tag List: @kofforever @darkwitch192 @deliciousfestsalad @unsatisfiedanddisappointed @mbakuetshurisprincess @justariellove @purple-nugget @shuris3leg @riribabymomma @wandas-nose-scrunch @ceaseanddecease @someobliviousgirl @marsfunzon22 @urfavvmiyahh @chatitajens @greek-freak101 @takeyaki @naslt @princesscharmingnoir @kiwiana145 @como731 @unsatisfiedanddisappointed @sopaintercrown @sweettea32 @alistair-mooncrest

#marvel imagine #mcu imagine #black panther imagine #ayo x aneka x reader #ayo x reader #aneka x reader #ayo imagine #aneka imagine #clint barton #scott lang #bucky barnes

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thatmexisaurusrex · 2 years

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Just Sam and Bucky, super excited about their triple date with Jen and Matt and Ayo and Aneka. Ready to join the ranks of the cool couples.

#sambucky #the daily sambucky fluff diary #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky headcanons #jenmatt #aneka x ayo #jennifer walters #matt murdock #aneka #ayo #domestic fluff #date night #triple date #they all split tapas and talk about their lives #having fun all night #my headcanons

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ayyaduselessbi · 1 year

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(Warning: This will include Black Panther: Wakanda Forever Spoilers!!)

It's funny how much we have started to learn about Ayo throughout the projects she has appeared in despite not having a major role. A little run-through on what we have learnt about this minor character (Be warned, it's an entire essay)

1. Out of all the Dora Milaje, Ayo's family actually gets explored(kind of - unsure if completely canon). In the children's book Black Panther: Wakanda Forever: Courage to Dream, the protagonist in the book, Assata is actually Ayo's cousin. In the book, Assata has a grandmother, Ala as well so since they are cousins, Ala is Ayo's grandmother as well. So Ayo has two 'confirmed' family members: Assata and Ala

2. In the Black Panther: World of Wakanda comic and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, it's confirmed that Ayo has a gf, Aneka. I'm not sure if she is confirmed lesbian since I've never read the comics, but it can be assumed that she is at least sapphic.

3. Ayo is shown to have a bond with Bucky. In Fatws, it is revealed that Ayo is the one who helped Bucky test whether his Winter Soldier does not work on him anymore and she was there for one of his most emotional moments(him crying after realising the WS trigger words doesn't work on him anymore). Bucky also shows gratitude towards her.

4. Ayo is also shown to be guilty for T'Chaka death. A quote from Ayo's confrontation with Bucky "Zemo murdered our king T'Chaka, the man who chose us, who chose me to protect him." This shows that Ayo feels guilty for not being able to protect or save him.

Maybe there is more that I have not mentioned here, but so far this is what I have gathered

1. Ayo has a family (Cousin, Assata and Grandmother, Ala)

2. Ayo is sapphic and has a gf, Aneka

3. Ayo and Bucky have a good bond (Honestly I like to headcanon them as best friends lmao)

4. She feels guilty that she wasn't able to protect T'Chaka

For a seemingly minor character, we do learn more about her personal life than even Okoye(will probably make another post about her). Maybe if I find more info on Ayo, I'll update. Hopefully in the future, we'll be able to get more Ayo scenes and learn more about Ayo(cause like I'm lowkey simping for her). Though for now, we'll have to stick to the minor canon stuff and of course fanfiction 🤩

#ayo #ayo x aneka #ayo & bucky #black panther #black panther wakanda forever

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wonderlandleighleigh · 1 year

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Tilting at Wind Mills

(Yes I know Bucky isn’t Jewish in the movies. No, I don’t care, he’s Jewish in every fic I write lol)

MCU/Mrs. Maisel Crossover.

1941

"I just don't see why I can't come with," Steve complains as he watches his friend get dressed up. "I'd be respectful."

"Because you can't fast," Bucky reminds him. "Yom Kippur is the one where you can't eat, remember? You'd black out in synagogue."

Steve sighs. "Bring me leftovers from the break fast?"

Bucky grins. "That I can do. Okay. Off to the Upper West Side I go. Wish me luck. Maybe I'll meet a rich, pretty girl."

It earns him an eye roll. "Leave."

He does.

*****

He steps up in front of the ornate apartment building and adjusts his tie as his sister steps up to join him.

"Ready for a fun-filled day of atonement with the family who has no idea what to do with us?" Ricky Barnes asks teasingly.

"An entire day with the Sackville-Weissman's," Bucky jokes.

Ricky rolls her eyes. "You and your Tolkein."

"If you'd just give it a chance-"

"Are you two going to come upstairs and join us?"

It's a familiar voice. Tired and elderly, but infused with warmth, and soon both of them are wrapped in the arms of their grandfather.

"Hi, Zeyde," they chorus.

He chuckles. "Hello, kinder. I was just taking a walk. Getting away from the chaos of trying to convince Noah that God doesn't want him to eat today."

Bucky chuckles. "Every year with that kid."

Chaim Weissman looks them both over critically. "You both look good. Strong. I was worried after your mother passed last year…"

"We're not that far away to check on, Zeyde," Ricky reminds him carefully.

"That's on me," he admits. "Brooklyn is full of memories. I miss your mother very much. I never dreamed outliving one of my children."

Bucky squeezes the man's shoulder. "Let's go check on Uncle Abe. See if he's blown a gasket yet."

*****

Services are long, and Bucky is hungry but he's got an eight-year-old girl cousin who is funny and they make dumb faces at each other when no one is looking.

Noah and Midge are significantly younger than Bucky, but it's kind of nice. Noah is twelve and too smart. Midge, the aforementioned eight and funny and intuitive.

Bucky isn't comfortable with his uncle and aunt's wealth (adding Sackville to the front of their name isn't a total joke), but he loves seeing his cousins and grandfather.

These dinners used to end in arguments, before Bucky's mother passed away. About family responsibility. About money. About the fact that the Weissman's have quite a lot, while the Barnes branch rarely had enough (mostly due to Bucky and Ricky's father magically disappearing back in 37).

"You know, James," Aunt Rose tells him at break fast as their housekeeper (fuck, seriously?) serves the food. "There are some lovely girls I could introduce you to."

Zeyde tries not to roll his eyes.

"I'm good, thank you," Bucky assures her. "I'm not really ready to settle down."

"Of course not," Uncle Abe agrees. "He's young, Rose. He's sowing his oats."

"And we’re likely going to war soon," Zeyde chimes in. "James is strong. They'll want him to fight."

Midge taps him on the shoulder from next to him at the table and Bucky leans down to listen as she whispers in his ear.

"Don't die, or I'll find you in the afterlife and give you a wedgie."

Bucky laughs and wraps her in his big arms, giving her a tight hug. "Okay, Midge. You got it."

*****

1945

At thirteen, Miriam Weissman attends her first funeral.

There's no body to bury, so it's really just a memorial for her cousin.

Bucky was always nice to her. Good natured and charming. Quick-witted. On Hanukkah when she was six, he taught her to make potato knish from scratch while Zeyde critiqued from the kitchen table.

"No side seat cooking," Bucky had joked. "You wanna teach her, you come over and teach her."

There's a handsome blonde man -Captain America - speaking to the congregation about her cousin. About what kind of man he was, and it all rings true.

Midge remembers Steve. He used to come with Bucky to dinners sometimes. Small. Always polite. When she was little, he drew her a pretty picture of a flower that she still has framed on her wall.

He looks so deeply sad, and Midge looks at her hands to avoid crying.

Captain America dies not long after Bucky does.

She pulls the picture he drew off her wall and stows it away.

****

1950

Just before he passes away, Chaim Weissman promises his pretty granddaughter he'll make good on that wedgie when he catches up to James in the afterlife.

Midge laughs and cries at that.

*****

November, 1954

“Congratulations,” a soft voice says. The accent is British, and Midge frowns as she turns her head.

She gave birth to her first child just a few hours ago, and she’s exhausted, so she’s not even sure if this is real, but there, sitting next to her is a beautiful woman. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Dressed in a sharp skirt suit.

“Thanks?” Midge tries, blinking rapidly.

The woman smiles. “We haven’t met. My name is Peggy Carter. I worked with your cousin, Sergeant Barnes and his friend, Captain Rogers.”

Midge blinks rapidly, looking surprised. “I…did you find something? Did you find-”

Peggy reaches out then, placing a hand on Midge’s. “I’m sorry. No. That isn’t why I’m here. I’m here to ask for your help.”

“Me?” Midge asks.

Peggy nods. “My agency has multiple operatives who work under deep cover,” she explains. “It’s very dangerous. It’s very isolating. It’s difficult for them, at times, to keep their humanity intact. Bucky spoke fondly of you. That you were his favorite cousin. I know that you’ll be busy with your new addition for a while. But after…I was wondering if I could send them your way for a warm meal every now and then.”

Midge bites her lip.

“You won’t be involved in anything they’re doing,” Peggy promises. “You won’t be asked to carry secrets. They’ll be sent in under the guise of old friends of your cousin’s. And in quite a few cases, it won’t be a lie. Just dinner.”

Midge thinks about that for a moment. About how she wishes she could make knish with her favorite cousin again.

And she nods. “Give me a few months to get this motherhood thing under control, and then send ‘em my way.”

Peggy smiles at her. “You’ll get forty-eight hours warning each time. Expect a call in six months.”

“Your friends better be ready for the best meal of their lives,” Midge smirks.

The older woman chuckles as she gets to her feet. “You are very related to James Barnes.”

“Damn right.”

*****

1955

“Who’s coming over for dinner?” Joel asks.

Midge smiles. “Just an old friend of my cousin’s.”

“And his name is Dum-Dum?” Joel scoffs. “What the fuck kinda name is that?”

Midge shrugs and smiles wider.

*****

December 1957

At eight months pregnant with baby number two, Midge knows she shouldn't be running around late at night, but she forgot the extra potatoes for the knish tomorrow and she can't sleep anyway, so she finds herself at a corner market.

There's only one other shopper this late and he's a big man in a bulky coat, gathering pears into a bag.

There's something unsettling about the man. And familiar.

"Late night snack?" She asks.

He glances at her.

"I forgot the potatoes for the knish. My husband hates them but I love them."

Still no answer, but he becomes more familiar the more she looks at him.

Midge tilts her head. "You remind me of someone."

He drops his pears and storms out.

She frowns down at them, laying on the floor, the only evidence the man was ever there at all.

*****

1964

Lenny Bruce loves his second wife but some fucking times he is very confused by her.

Like now.

He's hanging out with her on tour in California. It's late. He's tired. But he's chasing after her as her heels click quickly down the street.

"Midge-"

"Saw a ghost!"

"Midge, for christ sake, what does that even mean?"

"What do you mean what does that mean? It means I saw a ghost."

"Friend or foe?" Lenny asks.

"Family."

"So both."

She stops and frowns as she looks around the empty LA street. "I could have sworn…"

Lenny catches up, taking her hand and giving her a gentle tug. "Midge, talk to me."

Midge bites her lip, looking around and then back at him. "I had a cousin die in action in 45."

Lenny frowns. "I didn't know…"

"Papa had an older sister," Midge explains. "She had two kids, and one was a boy. James. His name was James and he was fun. Nice to me. Anyways, I…they never recovered his body, and…just before Esther was born I ran into someone who looked…so much like him. In the eyes. And now…"

"That guy on the corner?"

She nods.

He pulls her close. "You know, grief is strange, and long, Sweetheart. I'm not saying you're crazy, but this might be leftover shit from his death."

Midge considers that, cuddling in against him. "I guess it could be. I was so sure, though."

"Evening, folks," a man says with a smile as he walks up. "Late for anybody to be wandering around."

"Well, we're comics," Lenny explains. "Terrible creatures of the night. And ghost hunters, apparently."

"Say, you're Lenny Bruce and Midge Maisel," the man marvels. "I don't suppose I could get an autograph."

Midge smiles kindly and unwraps from Lenny. "If you've got paper and pen, we've got autographs. Who are we making it out to?"

"Alexander," he replies, as he pulls out a little pad of paper and a pen. "Alexander Pierce."

Lenny watches the man as he waves the pen in a strange way, and suddenly the street seems to settle around them in a way it hadn't before. As if someone who wasn't supposed to be there in the first place had gone.

He signs quickly, letting Midge make small talk with this Pierce guy, and when they finally head back for their hotel, Lenny is so fucking relieved.

*****

2014

The Village Vanguard

"Good evening, everyone. I'm Mrs. Maisel and Captain fucking America is sitting in the back, holy shit."

The crowd- Steve included - laughs.

"I have a secret to tell you," she says closely to the microphone. "I knew Captain America when he was just a scrawny Brooklyn kid who could get knocked over by a stiff breeze. And boy fucking howdy do I have stories."

Steve laughs more and shakes his head. Sam is laughing too.

"Have you ever watched a 98 pound gentile try to flirt with the tallest Jewish girl in the room?" Midge asks. "Let's settle in. It's summer, 1939. He is the only goy at our Catskills resort, and he is in it to win it with Shira Farber, who is six foot one and could break him in two. Now, as a little girl I just thought it was silly. As an adult? I have to ask: Steve, are you just really into women stepping on you? Because that is what would have happened if you'd succeeded."

The audience laughs and Steve rubs his face. "I asked for this by showing up, didn't I?"

"Getting roasted by an 81 year old woman who's done it professionally since the 60s? Yeah."

"Is it wrong to talk about Captain America and sex?" Midge asks. "Does being a symbol of the ideal America preclude you from wanting a good fuck? Not that he has to want to fuck, but is it because he doesn't want to fuck or because the government doesn't want him to fuck? I bet those USO girls back in the day knew the answer to that question."

Sam slowly looks at Steve.

Who turns red.

"I mean that begs the question: is the American dream sexless?" Midge asks. "We've always been disturbingly puritanical, haven't we? My late husband got arrested how many times for dirty jokes? Where is the we like to fuck political party? Where's the candidate handing out Plan B at their town halls? You know. Just in case. Sure, we want liberty, but a lot of us also want orgasms. What is congress' plan to increase getting off in the coming fiscal year? Not that kind of coming. I mean I hope I'll be coming sometime in the next fiscal year."

Sam laughs loudly at that.

"Yeah, Mr. Falcon thought that was funny. I bet he fucks."

Steve laughs at that one as Sam shrugs sheepishly.

"Can you imagine being the woman to take Captain America's virginity?" Midge asks. "Steve, when you made it with a woman for the first time, did you sing the National Anthem?"

Steve laughs and plays along. "My Country Tis of Thee!" He calls back, making the audience, and Midge laugh.

"Good answer," Midge praises. "People think Captain America, they think patriotism. They think of earnest heroism. I think that guy at the Seder table who insisted on eating the horse radish and then hogged the bathroom for an hour. Steve, you were not the only one with a sensitive stomach that night Steve."

"Seven days of Passover, seven days of lighting a scented candle in the bathroom because you may think Captain America's shit smells like fresh apple pie, but I can assure you it does not."

Amidst the applause she beams. "I'm Mrs. Maisel. You've been wonderful. Captain America is still a great sport. Thank you and goodnight!"

*****

Midge smiles at them as she sits in the little dressing room.

"Hi, Midge," Steve grins sadly. "Great set."

"Thanks for playing along," she says. "But I'm guessing you're here about Bucky."

Steve nods solemnly. "I guess you heard."

"Hard not to," Midge tells him. "When they didn't find the body, his sister and my grandfather held out hope that maybe he'd survived…and now I know that the handful of times I thought I saw him, I probably did. Maybe…maybe he remembered me a little through the brainwashing."

"We're gonna find him," Sam promises.

She smiles sadly. "If you do, tell him Cousin Midge says hello."

*****

2018

To the Ruler of Wakanda, King T'Challa

My name is Miriam Weissman-Bruce. The world at large mostly knows me as Midge Maisel, and I make people laugh for a living.

We've never met, but it seems your country is currently taking care of a family member we all thought had died back in the 40s.

I write to you because he hasn't returned any of my letters. I know he's received them. Wakandan mail is top notch, and I know he has the ability to write back; The idiot lost his non-dominant hand.

I think he's too ashamed to talk to me.

I write to you not just to complain like the truly Jewish woman I am, but to request permission to visit him in Wakanda. I ask no special treatment (though if you have comedy clubs, I'd be more than happy to perform and make fun of America for your citizens), I only want to see James sooner rather than later. I'm pushing 90. I'm figuring I don't have time for him to get his shit together.

Can I say 'shit' to foreign royalty? I guess I'll find out.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Miriam "Midge Maisel" Weissman-Bruce

*****

Bucky Barnes narrows his eyes as Ayo holds the hand of a small, shriveled white woman, helping her through the field toward Bucky’s hut.

“You know, I know several fashion designers who would cut off their own left foot to make clothes for you,” the older woman chats. “Really. You are stunning. And so tall.”

Bucky squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head, realizing who the old woman is. He holds back tears and takes a breath. “Everybody’s tall to you Midge. You’ve been short your whole life.”

“The curse of the Ashkenazi Jewish woman,” Midge jokes. “Short as fuck.”

“What is she doing here, Ayo?”

“She petitioned our king for a visit,” Ayo tells him. “And she promised him a comedy show. And then when she got here, she insisted on cooking for the royal family to express her gratitude.”

“We’re Jews,” Midge chimes in. “We’re very good at feeding people.”

“Are you telling me you made dinner, and I missed it?” Bucky asks, feeling deeply disappointed suddenly.

“It’s tomorrow night,” Midge assures him, waving the free hand that isn’t holding onto Ayo. “I was told I had to come knock some fucking sense into you first.”

“Sense?” Bucky asks, offended.

“Fucking sense,” Midge corrects him. “Not responding to my letters. What the fuck, James?”

“I like her,” Ayo grins as she helps Midge settle onto a little bench near the hut. “I cannot believe you are related. She is much funnier than you are, Barnes.”

“Well, she did make a career out of it,” Bucky points out.

Midge looks up at him curiously. “You’ve heard my material?”

“When I found out, I bought all your records,” he tells her, sitting next to her and taking her hand. “Hi, Midge.”

Her eyes well up with tears and her unsteady hand squeezes his. “Hi, Bucky. How’s life?”

“Oh, you know,” he shrugs his shoulders. “I caught some fish yesterday.”

Midge laughs and shakes her head. “My husband loved to fish. You would have hated him and then loved him after you got to know him better.”

Bucky smiles, letting go of her hand to wrap his arm around her. “Tell me all about it.”

#fic #au #crossovers #tmmm #mcu #Midge Maisel #Bucky Barnes #Steve Rogers #Sam Wilson #Midge x Lenny #Peggy Carter #I hope people like this one I loved writing it #Ayo

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tllgrrl · 1 year

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Jazz Standards, Vol 3. Chapter 11 - A Night in Tunisia

The Wakanda adventure continues.

Bucky gives Sarah his “theory of universal food” along with thoughts about The Arm, and he introduces her to some people he sometimes forgets care about him: Friends.

Food and Dancing are involved.

And Sarah meets Ayo’s Intanda, Aneka,

Y’all. This is so good. So Good!!

#sarah wilson #bucky barnes #sarahbucky #buckysarah #sarah x bucky #bucky x sarah #sarah wilson x bucky barnes #bucky barnes x sarah wilson #sarah/bucky #bucky/sarah #aneka & ayo #sarahcentric #sarahbucky fanfic #bysixesandsevens #fanfiction #fanfic rec #tfatws #fan fiction

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mrsbarnesblog · 6 months

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wakanda

masterlist ko-fi ao3

Summary: You visit Bucky in Wakanda, and the hidden feelings are finally coming out.

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: +18 ‼️ smut, sex in Bucky's hut, he has one arm, woman on top, unprotected sex, dirty talk, insecurity.

Author's note: posting my old fic, while I'm working on that tattoo artist x bookshop owner one👀 If any of you have smut ideas (with some kinks maybe), feel free to write your requests

You finally got permission to visit Bucky in Wakanda again since he was permanently living there to get rid of the Winter Soldier program and learn how to live a normal life again. Unfortunately, Princess Shuri and Ayo insisted that too much contact with other people might distract Bucky, so you weren’t allowed to see him.

The last time you were there with Steve and, even if you loved him to death, you couldn't deny the disappointment that you barely spent any time with Bucky alone. He was your best friend since you and Steve saved him in Bucharest, and you had the biggest crush on him for about the same amount of time.

At first, you had to visit Shuri and TChalla to talk through some moments, and that whole time you were bubbling with nerves and anticipation to finally see Bucky.

You jumped right into his arms as soon as you walked down the hill and saw him standing near the lake. He hugged you back, burying his face in your neck, and it was truly the moment that you never wanted to end. Bucky smelled like fresh air mixed with some kind of seasoning, not to mention that he looked fantastic. In traditional Wakandian clothes that were covering his missing arm too, a low bun on the back of his head with a few springs of hair around his face, and smooth and tanned skin from the work under the sun.

You two rushed to his hut with the food you had bought from a local cafe owned by a kind old man. And somewhere after that, when you were eating on the floor covered with many blankets and colorful pillows and talking about your lives, everything went downhill.

Bucky talked about his goats and the way he felt better living in Wakanda, while you unconsciously moved closer to him, needing to fill the void that formed while you couldn’t see him. Bucky just stopped in the middle of the sentence, as if he realized that you were too close, looking at him with your big, pretty eyes.

Food was forgotten. Somehow, you ended up sitting on Bucky’s lap while you were connected in the most passionate and hot kiss you had ever had. Your hands were tightly holding his face, and his right one had a strong grip on your waist to keep you close.

“Bucky…” You moaned in his mouth; your hips were grinding into his hardness, which was so obvious through the clothes. You both were so lost in the moment, sharing a desperate kiss. Bucky couldn’t get enough of your taste; he bit your lip, then licked it with his tongue to calm down the delicate skin.

It felt so natural, like it was meant to happen a long time ago, and now you could not keep all of your emotions inside.

Bucky couldn't help but groan under his breath when your hand slipped into his hair, completely destroying his low bun. Your nails on his scalp felt majestic, and his brain became fuzzy with your gentle yet confident touches. Bucky moved his hand from your waist to your thigh, squeezing the soft and warm skin a little bit lower than your shorts.

When he pulled away, you tried to follow his mouth, almost addicted to the taste and feeling of his lips on yours.

“Fuck, doll, that’s not how I imagined it.” His face became sad and almost apologetic, and you saw that the corners of his red lips moved downward in disappointment. “Not here, not with only one arm... Fuck, I can’t even touch you the way I want to.” His hand tightened on your hip, and you gave him a sad smile. Not that those things mattered to you, but your heart still hurt because Bucky felt that way.

“I don’t care about it. I just want you, Bucky, if you want me too, of course.” Your voice was soft and gentle, soothing his nerves a little bit.

“You can’t imagine how much I want it, but I can’t do much with one hand; fuck, it’s so bad, I’m so sorry...” Bucky’s eyes closed and his head fell lower, but you could still see a pink blush on his cheeks.

"I want it, Bucky; I want you, and your hand is not a problem, okay?" He deeply inhaled when your hands took his face and your lips were back on his. The kiss wasn’t so harsh and desperate; it was more deep and passionate, like you both tried to express your unsaid feelings. “Why don’t you just lay back on the pillows, and I’ll do everything?” You bit your lip, suddenly feeling slightly nervous, and put your right hand on his chest, pushing Bucky back on the pile of pillows behind him so he was sitting in a reclined position.

You saw the hesitation in his eyes, and you waited a few seconds, gently rubbing your fingers over his beard, so he could process your idea.

“Okay.”

You got closer, sitting more comfortably on top of him. One of your hands pressed onto the pillows near Bucky’s body, and the other one landed on his firm chest, playing with the red clothes that he was wearing. Bucky lifted his hand, gently grabbing your face and kissing you again. His soft lips and slow movements of his tongue inside your mouth made you moan.

“Can I take it off?” You mumbled, slightly pulling down the red material. More of his soft, tanned skin was shown, and you tried to hold yourself together and not overstep the line. Bucky’s pupils were dilated, almost completely hiding your favorite blues. He was closely watching your moving lips, as if he couldn’t get enough.

“Mhm, but— please, can we leave this on?” He pointed to his shoulder, covered in blue material.

“If you feel more comfortable that way, then we can. But we don’t have to, if you suggest it only because of me.” You started to untangle his clothes, still watching his face to notice any signs of discomfort.

“Just leave it on, okay?”

“Okay.” As you removed the clothes from his chest, leaving the cover on his left shoulder, allowing you to see his perfectly sculpted body, your lips left soft kisses on Bucky’s cheek, going down to his neck and to his abs. You stopped there, feeling how the body underneath you tensed, and his hand gripped the duvet so hard that his knuckles became white. “Bucky?”

“‘M okay, it’s just been so long for me. Didn’t get used to feeling that way. And I want you so bad, doll, I can’t even explain it.” He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. You felt that his cock was painfully hard underneath you, and just thinking about touching it made you ten times wetter.

“You can have me, Bucky. Do you want me to take the rest of our clothes?” You moved your hips a little bit, getting an almost desperate whine from Bucky. He looked stunning with his slightly disheveled hair, flushed cheeks, red lips, and lustful and needy eyes. And he was completely yours, fuck.

“Yes, please.”

You placed a quick kiss on his lips before getting up. Bucky’s eyes were following your every move as you took off your shorts and t-shirt, staying in the cooling air only in your simple black underwear. But Bucky was looking at you like you were the most delicious and precious thing in the world, like he wanted to make love to you and completely destroy your body at the same time.

“Doll– fuck, everything else too, please.” He licked his lips, unconsciously moving his hips from the lack of attention. Your eyes slipped to his crotch, seeing how his cock was very visible through layers of clothes.

You just smiled at his desperation but still reached to the back to unclip your bra and then slide your panties down your legs. You didn’t waste any more time, going back to Bucky and finally completely taking off his clothes.

“Holy fuck…” Your mouth went completely dry when you pulled down his black boxers. You never found this part of a man’s body that attractive, but it was the prettiest dick you had ever seen. Thick and long, with a vein going around it and a slight curve towards his press. The shiny drop of pre-cum on the head made you instantly want to lick it, but the mumble of your name and calloused hand on the lower part of your back brought your attention back to Bucky.

“You’re going to kill me, doll. C’mere, please, I want– need to touch you. Need to kiss you.” Before you could even say something or move, his hand slipped under your ass and, without much effort, lifted you on top of him. “You’re so beautiful, sweetheart. I want to worship you and make you feel good; I’m so sorry that I can’t.”

“Bucky,” you said, laying down on his chest. “I promise that when you get your new arm, I’ll let you fuck me however and wherever you want to, okay? But for now, I want to take care of you.” The feeling of your hard nipples pressing against his firm chest sent shivers down your spine, and the hand on your back made you want to grind on Bucky like a bitch in heat. “Please, touch me, baby.”

“You shouldn’t say shit like this to me, doll. I won’t let you go until you can’t even fucking think straight. Shit– how are you so soft…” Bucky's hand was now exploring your body, gripping your ass, tracing your stomach, and reaching for your sensitive nipples. He never wanted to have both arms as much as he did at that moment—to touch every curve of your body and find everything that makes you feel good.

“Bucky!” Your hands pressed against his chest, and your head fell back with a moan when he pinched your nipple in between his fingers. He chuckled softly before sliding his hand down, right to your dripping core.

“Doll, look at you.” His eyes were glued to the place where his fingers traced your folds. “Is this all for me?”

“Y-yes, Bucky, please…” You almost cried at the feeling that he gave you. Even if it was a long time for him, Bucky definitely didn’t forget how to please a woman. Your legs desperately wanted to close from the stimulation on the clit, but since you were spread on top of him, you couldn’t do anything but whine and dig your nails into the hot skin under your hands. “Don’t tease me, just—fuck!”

“Taking my fingers so good, doll.” You knew that he was smiling because of your reaction as two thick digits slid inside of you, filling you so well but not enough at the same time. “You’re already ready for my cock, huh? Wanna feel how this pretty pussy stretches around me. C'mon, baby, help me.” Bucky moved his hips upward, and you felt how his dick was pressing on your ass.

“You have a dirty mouth, Barnes.” You laughed before reaching behind you, grabbing his cock, and lifting your body at the same time. You put the tip at your entrance, running his length through your folds and letting the head bump your clit as he collected your wetness, until you both couldn’t handle the teasing anymore. Bucky placed his hand on your ass, pressing on top and allowing you to slowly take him inside.

It was too much. The burn of him stretching you was slightly painful, but it made you feel so full, as if the two pieces of puzzles finally added up. You both moaned, your head fell back, and you tried to go slowly and adjust to his size.

Bucky’s hand tightened on your hip, probably leaving red marks. He breathed deeply to control his fast-beating heart. You felt so fucking good, all wet and tight for him, that it was hard not to move his hips into you. But it was obvious that you needed some time based on your tensed body and slightly opened mouth.

“Bucky…” Your eyes were flattering, and you were not able to completely focus on his face. You thought that you could just fuck him and take control, but you didn’t expect to be this cock drunk before either of you even made a move.

“So pretty lookin’ like this baby.”

“‘M so full…” You moaned, gripping Bucky’s hand and interlacing your fingers.

You found a comfortable position, holding yourself with one hand on Bucky’s chest. The first movement of your hips was shocking, sending goosebumps all over your body. You both loudly moaned when you moved up, until he almost slipped out of you, and then down, burying his cock deeply inside.

Bucky’s lower half slightly moved up when his non-existent left arm wanted to grab your hips, and you must’ve noticed the disappointment and anger written on his face because you leaned a little bit lower and freed your hand from his grip, moving it to his face.

“That’s okay, Buck, just relax, please? Don’t worry.” You cooed in the softest voice. Your hips started to slowly move at a stable pace.

“You’re so perfect, baby.” He mumbled, and you felt that his body started to thrust into yours, so his cock perfectly touched your g-spot.

It became more intense with every minute. The little hut was filled with the smell of sex and the sound of your moans, as well as skin slapping against skin. You were too desperate for each other, trying to reach your climaxes but not wanting this moment to end.

Bucky tried to touch you as much as possible; he wanted to make you feel good, give you satisfaction, and fulfill his own needs in your presence. He moved his hand from your ass to your stomach and boobs, then to your face, drawing you in for another hot and passionate kiss. He was all over you, hungry to get more and to remember every centimeter of your perfect body.

You two moved in perfect rhythm, meeting each other's movements.

“Please, Bucky– it’s so good, fu-uck, I’m gonna cum.” You cried out loud, feeling that your body was starting to go numb from your approaching orgasm.

“Such a good pussy, takin’ me so well. ‘M close too, baby; ride my cock, c’mon. Get what you need.” He slapped your ass, encouraging you to move faster. “So pretty wrapped around me. Can I cum inside you, hm? Will you let me feel you up?”

Your head quickly nodded while you didn’t break eye contact with the man in front of you. Bucky bit his lip, trying to control himself and get you to the finish first, but you looked so fucking good on top of him, with your boobs jumping up and down, that he knew he couldn’t hold himself any longer. So he brought his hand to the lower part of your stomach, pressing his thumb against your swollen clit.

That was the breaking point for you. You completely lost control over your body, barely being able to stay still when the waves of pleasure were breaking through you.

“Good girl. You can almost feel me in your stomach, yeah?” Bucky was feeling every thrust of his dick with the palm of his hand, and it felt fucking insane. “Fu-u-uck, you’re squeezing the shit out of me; ‘m not gonna last longer.” He moaned, losing his rhythm too, while you fell down on his chest, too overwhelmed and overstimulated.

You felt the last movement of his hips until he froze, moaning into your ear, and emptied himself deeply inside of your spasming pussy. You unconsciously continued to squeeze around his cock, getting every single drop, as if your body was greedy to get more of his load.

“I don’t feel m’ body…” You mumbled, already feeling sleepy, and wrapped your hands around Bucky’s body.

“Sleep, baby.” The soft material fell on your back, covering your naked bodies. You felt a light kiss on top of your head, and Bucky’s arm hugged your back, holding you closer to him.

You weren't sure, but right before you drifted to sleep, you heard something that weirdly sounded like “I love you.”

part 2

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mrsbuckybarnes1917 · 7 months

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Pairing: Bucky x f!reader, White Wolf x f!reader Word Count: 4k Summary: You meet Bucky while you're in Wakanda and you just can't resist his wolfish charms! Warnings: explicit sexual content, unprotected vaginal sex, dirty talk, role-play, oral sex, fingering, biting (mild) Author's note: This is a gift for @samodivaa, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

You had seen him long before you ever spoke with him. He worked the Alkama Fields on the borders of Wakanda, long strands of brown hair strewn across his face, a small sash tied across his muscular chest. The children called him White Wolf, at least that is what you had overheard. Initially, the adults didn’t speak much about him, preferring to hush you with dismissive gestures.

Your multiple doctorates in anthropology and linguistics had made you one of the top choices to visit the advanced society that had been kept so carefully hidden for so long. King T’Challa had allowed you to visit his kingdom where you would spend a year learning about their culture, languages and history. As soon as you had settled into the guest living quarters you’d been offered, you had gone shopping, wanting to fully immerse yourself into the Wakandan lifestyle and fashion.

It hadn’t taken too long before you had been fully accepted into their society, your cheery demeanor and your willingness to be of assistance to anyone you saw granted you access to places where others may have been shunned as an outsider.

The Dora Milaje had immediately fascinated you, the all-female special forces for Wakanda. They had kindly allowed you to observe their training and you had befriended a few members of the elite squad, including Ayo, Yama and Nomble. It was through them that you learned more about Bucky Barnes. It was only after you heard his name that the memories of the Winter Soldier swam to the forefront of your mind.

The only reason you had met him was because Ayo had suggested you learn one of the native languages by attending one of the rural schools. You had entered sheepishly and been introduced to the class, who had responded with smiles and waves. It was only when you were directed to a seat in the back that you noticed the supersoldier hunched over and squeezed into a desk in the corner.

He watched your hips swish slightly as you weaved your way between the little bodies dispersed throughout the room. You were wearing your favorite red dress and soon enough it became Bucky's.

"I don't normally do this, you know," you smiled shyly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

Bucky held down the button which opened the door to your humble living space, letting you enter before following.

"Do what?" he teased. "Never take strange men home?"

You rolled your eyes and let out a dramatic sigh, nudging him slightly with your elbow as you spoke. "I never let stray dogs into my home. Maybe I ought to put you back outside."

"Out in the cold?" he pouted.

"It doesn't get cold here," you scoffed.

"Well you never know," Bucky shrugged, then flashed you a mischievous grin. "And even if you did, you'd spend all night listening to me scratch and whine at the door. You wouldn't get much sleep."

In Bucky’s mind, the most beautiful sound burst from your lips as you laughed at his words.

"Maybe my puppy dog eyes will work better on you? But be warned, they are pretty powerful," he tilted his head down so his gaze was looking up at yours, lips pouted a little.

"Oh I'm done for now," you feigned a swoon. "Reign it in there buddy, the White Wolf should be using his powers for the greater good."

"I couldn't think of a better cause than being here with you."

You turned around to slip off your shoes while Bucky gazed around at your studio apartment, furnished with some classic Wakandan sofas and woven tapestries adorned the walls. It was beautiful how well the traditional and technological aspects of the culture meshed together.

"That dress looks pretty special on you, Red."

"Red? You think I'm Little Red Riding Hood?" you asked incredulously.

Bucky shrugged.

"And I suppose that makes you the Big Bad Wolf?"

That made Bucky laugh, a deep unrestrained guffaw. It wasn't a sound you'd heard from him and you wanted to hear it again.

"You think I'm bad?" There was a twinkle in his eye when he voiced the question but there was a touch of hesitation in his voice.

You walked right up to him, until your face was inches away from his, your eyes gazed directly at his lips for a moment or two before you looked up at him and batted your eyelids in a coquettish manner. “I think you can be,” you purred seductively. “You can be big,” you pushed your hand lightly over his crotch, “and bad.” You bit your lip waiting for his response. Every fiber of your being told you that the White Wolf had a wild side, but it was one he kept restrained out of fear of his past. You hope he would trust you to explore it with him.

Slowly but surely, a smile spread across his lips. Bucky tilted his head down to look at you through his eyebrows, a mask of menace painted across his face. “And what brings you to my forest, Red?” he growled.

“I’m sorry for intruding. I was on a little field trip and I think I might be a little lost.” You turned a little to glance around the room in a mock survey of your surroundings. “Do you think you can help me, Mister Wolf?”

Bucky took a step to the side, silent and graceful, creeping around you in a circle, like a predator stalking its prey, sizing you up like his next meal - the curve of your ass, the swell of your breast, the way your throat was highlighted by the neckline of that blood red dress you wore. He was vigilant of your vulnerability, your exposure, his own hunger and desire - the urge to reach out, to touch you, to hold you, to fuck you, was overwhelming.

“You’ll have to pay the price for trespassing in my neck of the woods.”

“But I have nothing to give you, Mister Wolf,” you puffed out your lips into an exaggerated pout.

“How about that pretty red dress you’re wearing? I think that will do very nicely.” Bucky licked his lips, the salacious intent audible in his tone.

“But this is my favorite dress,” you whined.

“Give me the dress, Red. Or I’ll eat you up.”

Bucky took a step forward, towering over you. Even with one arm missing he had a presence, a presence which made your heart flutter uncontrollably. Your breath hitched as you caught a whiff of his scent, his own earthy musk mingled with a hit of sweat from having worked on the fields all day. You could feel your body responding to his proximity as beads of sweat erupted from your skin and the space between your legs throbbed with a desire to be filled. It was as though you craved his touch. He took another step closing the remaining distance between you.

You were so distracted by his closeness that you almost missed him repeating his question. “The dress, Red. Or would you prefer I eat you?”

“What’s to stop you from eating me even after I’ve given you my dress?”

“I guess you’ll just have to trust me.”

You spun around slowly, allowing Bucky the time to admire your curves. You bit back the moan that tried to escape as his fingers brushed your hips as you turned. He slid them across your waist, trailing them up your back until they landed on the zipper on the back. He pinched the tiny pull between his fingers and tugged it downwards but it barely moved. He tried again with little success. His nose was so pressed so close to your ear that you could hear the quiet growl of frustration in his throat.

“You need help back there, Mister Wolf?”

“No!” he barked, taking the zipper pull between his teeth, while his hand supported the lacy material.

The top of your dress fell from your shoulders in an instant exposing your back and bra. The rest followed with ease, pooling to the floor in a shimmering heap. Bucky smiled, the way your muscles flexed in response to your exposure. He couldn’t help but noticed a dark patch on the front of your panties and how you pushed back into him as he came up behind you.

“You have my dress now, Mister Wolf. Can I go now?” you whimpered.

Bucky wrapped his hand around his waist. “I want more, Red. I want your body.”

It was almost involuntary, how your body responded to his words. You pushed back into him, grinding onto the swell in his pants. Bucky ached, for you to kiss him, for you to let him devour you. He held you closer.

You hummed, “what big arms you have.”

“The better to hold you with.” He covered your breast with his giant palm, kneading your flesh with a longing that had you clenching involuntarily.

He nibbled your ear and you couldn’t hold your moans in any longer. “Ohh Mister Wolf, what big teeth you have!”

“The better to eat you with.”

You squealed loudly as Bucky’s arm enveloped your waist and lifted you clean off the ground. He practically threw you onto the large round beanbag armchair, your landing softened by the multitude of cushions which cradled your fall.

“No more teasing, Red. You’re going to have to pay with more than that sexy dress.”

He straddled your hips, hovering over you, trapping you. Your body’s instinct was to struggle but it was in vain. His weight had you pinned helplessly to the couch, his throbbing cock pushed against your core. Soaked panties, wet lips, grinding hips. His fist was in your hair as he held you up to his chest. He kissed you, hard - long and deep. It felt like he was sucking the air right out of your lungs.

“Please, Mister Wolf.” You had no idea what you were begging for at this point, words strewn with lust. “What are you going to do to me?”

The way you looked under him had Bucky seriously testing his control, his cock now painfully hard and straining against the tight material of his pants. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself in you, to stretch you out, to hear you scream his name. That animal instinct that he had buried deep inside was clawing its way to the surface, you’d woken the beast and it was hungry after all its years of slumber. You had freed the wolf and now you would feed it.

Bucky grinned at you devilishly. “I’m going to eat you. As stunning as your lips taste, I have my eyes on something sweeter.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck as he trailed his tongue down your neck, stopping around your breast to suck and nibble at your nipple. Your whole body tingled under his ministrations.

You moaned loudly, no restraint in conveying your pleasure. "More."

"What was that, Red?"

"I want more, Mister Wolf. I've been a bad girl."

He breathed in your perfume, it permeated his nostrils, but he had caught another scent which had attracted his attention, the scent of your arousal. Suddenly he was on his knees on the floor with a grip on your waist, firm but not painful. And the way his fingers curved under your pelvis and pulled you down with ease had you writhing desperately. You lifted your hips expectantly and he ripped off your skimpy panties, exposing you to his salivating mouth. His teeth grazed his lower lip, tongue coating them with the product of his ravenous appetite.

“Please?” you whispered. A hint of uncertainty in your voice as he hovered over you with the stillness of a dangerous predator waiting to pounce.

He smiled, the lecherous glint in his eyes replaced with one of kindness, almost affectionate. He took your left ankle in his hand, lifting your leg, guiding it up and out until he had room to hook his shoulder under your knee. He glanced up at you and nodded his head at your other leg indicating that he wanted you to do the same. You didn’t need to be told twice and matched his actions, linking your feet together on his back.

Immediately his mouth was on your lips with a yearning of a man starved of passion. He licked the full length of them with his broad tongue before pushing his nose between them, nuzzling your pussy with the growing stubble on his chin. He blew against your clit.

“Fuck Bucky, what was that?” you cried, breaking from your character. Impatience and frustration dripped off your words. “Eat me, damn it!”

“What’s the matter, Red? You sound desperate.”

“Please,” you whispered. It was a thinly veiled plea and for once, Bucky was happy to comply.

One last look into your lustblown eyes and he lowered his head, attention focused on you. You tasted of salt and honey with a hint of lemon. He pushed a finger between your folds, tantalizingly rubbing it along the length of your slit before pushing it deep into you. With each thrust he added another digit, testing your stretch.

“Tongue,” you mumbled.

“Mmmm?” Bucky hummed.

“Use your mouth,” you enunciated.

“Your wish is my command,” he grinned.

“Talk less, lick more.”

Bucky pried you apart and planted his lips firmly over your clit, sucking your sweet nectar into his mouth. His tongue lapped you as he slid his fingers in and out.

“Yes, yes, just like that,” you closed your eyes and moaned, tilting your hips to let his fingers push deeper inside you.

He pressed his face closer, wanting a taste of every part of you. Finally withdrawing his fingers when he couldn’t quite fit both. You barely had time to whine about feeling empty as he grabbed your hips and pulled you right into his face, licking and sucking as though his life depended on drinking every drop of your precious elixir.

You moaned - it was so long and sensual that Bucky felt it inside him. He felt the wolf inside him rising to the surface. He had spent years watching; relentless, trying to find his way inside. You had let him in and now he finally felt alive. He growled, a deep guttural sound which filled you as he devored you. His head undulated as he tried to encompass you with his mouth, upper lip covering your clit as his jaw stretched and tongue pushed inside you. He ravaged you until he had no air left in his lungs.

Bucky’s cock throbbed as he felt the way you clenched against him. He slid his fingers back inside you, his other hand pulling apart your lips and exposing your clit to a fresh assault from his tongue. He could feel your clit pulse, your walls close in around him as he curled his fingers upwards to match the beat you had set with your heart. He was playing you like an instrument and the whimpers and groans that left your lips was music to his ears.

You pushed yourself on him and he ate you like a ravenous creature until-

“Oh Buck, I’m gonna come. I’m gonna - Buck, Buck!” Your voice rose in a crescendo. Legs shaking as you tightened and clenched around his thick fingers. “I’m coming, Bucky, I’m coming! Now!”

Bucky watched you as every single one of your muscles contracted and relaxed as waves of pleasure crashed through you, eyes rolled back and mouth open in a silent cry of ecstasy.

As you finally came down from your high, you opened your eyes, locking your gaze on his. You lay on your back, limp and naked and tingling all over. Sighing, as the aftermath of your climax finally ebbed away. You lifted your legs off Bucky’s shoulders and patted the space beside you. There was no hesitation as he crawled up beside you.

"That was kinda intense," you smiled at him.

"I wouldn't mind seconds," he smirked, eyes wandering over your face.

You sat up and for a brief frightening moment, Bucky thought you had had enough. But you stretched your arms and arched your back slightly before turning to face him. “So, you think I can take the Wolf for a ride?”

You placed your hand over his still covered cock, rubbing your hand over the tent in his pants making him gasp at your touch. Reflexively, his hips bucked into your hand. “Maybe I should get my pants off first?”

“Sounds like a good plan,” you answered, not taking your hands off him.

Bucky sat up so that his face was inches from yours. “Just need a moment, Red.”

He was up in an instant, lamenting the loss of contact of your hand on his crotch. He unbuttoned and dropped his pants with ease, before turning to face you. The sharp breath you took as you came face to face with his fully freed cock did a lot to stroke his ego. He reveled in the brightness of anticipation in your eyes.

“You really like your Wolf, huh?”

For the first time a blush crossed your cheeks and you couldn’t quite meet his eyes. Bucky took a step closer so that there was nowhere for you to avert your gaze.

"May I?" You looked up at him for permission.

He nodded, heart pounding from the thought of your touch.

You wrapped your hand around his shaft, feeling him jump with excitement. "That feel good, Mister Wolf?" A sudden surge of confidence had you feeling aroused again.

"Need more, Red."

You didn't need to be told twice. His already leaking tip looked too tantalizing and you were eager to taste your Wolf. With the same enthusiasm, you took him into your mouth, starting with a few soft licks, before sucking hard. Bucky thought he was going to come right at that moment.

“Red, w-wait!” he stuttered as the waves of pleasure encompassed him.

There was a faint popping sound as you released him from your mouth, looking up at him with an all knowing smile. He sat down beside you, spending the next few moments in an intimate silence with light touches. As his breathing became less ragged, you placed your palms on his chest, pushing him down onto his back. You climbed over and straddled his lap so that your entrance brushed over the base of his cock.

You leaned down and whispered in his ear. "So is my White Wolf going to let me ride him?"

Bucky's pupils dilated so fast that the image of you blurred slightly. It was only when you came back into focus that he was able to growl out the words. "I want you."

He held himself up as you lined your entrance up to his leaking member, slowly sinking down and basking in the stretch you felt. So much more than what his fingers had given you, you wondered if he would tear you in half. After a few careful thrusts, you picked up the pace, riding him with vigor.

"Fuck, Red, you feel so good!" Bucky looked up at you.

You were a sight to behold, flushed with strands of sweat coated hair strewn across your face. But it was your eyes that had him mesmerized, the way you looked back at him with voracity laced with a tenderness he hadn't seen in years.

"Harder!"

You complied with his request, matching your bounces with a thrust of his hips. Bucky admired the way your breasts followed your movements, unable to resist the urge, he reached up to squeeze your left nipple.

After several minutes of energetic thrusting, Bucky caught you slowing down. He slipped his hand down to your waist in an attempt to stay your movements.

"Can we try something different?” you asked, breathing heavily as you leaned forwards to pull air into your burning lungs and ease the pain in your aching thighs.

“Just gimme a few more. ‘M close.”

“Trust me, Mister Wolf? I wanna give something else a try.”

He removed his grip from your waist, watching as you climbed off his lap and crawled over to the arm rest and planted your hands firmly on it. You looked over your shoulder and wiggled your ass at him.

"Mount me, Mister Wolf."

Bucky didn't need to be told twice. He splayed his fingers across one cheek of your beautifully round ass and kneaded the muscle as you pushed back towards him, waiting with anticipation for him to enter you. But Bucky’s inner wolf had been freed and he let its spirit guide him. He leant forwards and sank his teeth into your other cheek, deep enough for you to yelp with pain but not enough to break your skin. He proceeded to cover the area with his lips in an attempt to kiss it better.

"You want to mark me?"

"You're mine, Red. All mine. Got that?" He rubbed his cock against your leaking lips.

“Yo-”

Before you had the chance to finish giving him an answer, he was inside you. One swift thrust. The cry that left your lips was much more pained and Bucky worried for a moment that his strength had been too much for you.

"It's fine, keep going. Fuck me, please."

Bucky was a little more careful on the second try, but each trust made him more confident, aided and abetted by your lusty moans and encouraging words.

“Bucky-”

“You sound so pretty like that,” he pushed into you repeatedly. “Whining and moaning my name.”

“Bucky!”

“What happened to your Wolf?”

"Please… Bucky… please, I need you,, you know I'm aching for you to take me, to pull me apart, whatever pleases you, just… please just don't deny me!”

It felt so fucking good, having Bucky’s cock inside you. Your brain was nothing but mush, focused solely on just how good he felt inside you. You shuddered, your hips pushing backwards as Bucky presses against your clit. His fingers smooth out around your folds, pressing into them slightly, as if holding them open so he can push into you better. You felt your arms going weak at the stimulation, it was getting harder to support yourself as Bucky pushed deeper and deeper inside you.

“Faster!” you cried, but you could barely hear your own words over the sound of skin slapping together, the wet sounds of Bucky’s cock thrusting in and out of you.

“Fuck, Red, I’m getting close…”

"…Ohhh fuck, please," you gasped out, instinctively. "Buck… I need you. But… I'm yours, all yours…"

Your legs trembled as Bucky’s words had you teetering on the edge of your orgasm, your juices covering his cock, his thrusts were passionate, wild, frenzied.

“That’s right. Mine! I’m going to fill you up. That’s it, Red. Come on my cock. I want to hear you come.”

Raucous moans caught in your throat, your eyes closed as you took in all of Bucky. Your vision clouded and your body felt limp as he pushed you over the edge once again. It felt as though the world had ceased to exist except for the two of you, together, as one being. Bucky held you close as you squeezed his cock triggering his climax. With a howl, ropes of white hot cum shot from him, filling you until it was dripping out of you and down your leg. He fell into you and you both collapsed onto the sofa, heavy breathing was the only sound to be heard in the room for several minutes.

Finally you caught your breath, recovered some semblance of feeling in your limbs. Bucky’s arm was still wrapped around your waist in a powerful embrace and he hadn't made any moves to extract himself from inside you.

"I should probably be getting back," Bucky mumbled regrettably after a long silence.

But neither of you made a move to free yourselves from the other's arms.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #kinktober #james bucky barnes #winter soldier #white wolf

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philtstone · 2 years

Note

Sam, 46

#46 -- on the other side of the door i was gonna use this to write more of the agatha christie au but then i had this idea and it was like. supposed to be Better than this but i am writing these with vibes only and not braincells so yeehaw. basically i wrote this w the main goal of zainab reading a Concept i was too tired to explain over texts and i guess now all of you can read it too

Sam watches the angry dent appear in the middle of the cell door, shoulder-shaped enough that he has it in him to wince.

He's not too banged up, just bone-exhausted. He's pretty sure these assholes are just holding him here to say they can; it's almost insulting how little damage he's taken, given how easily he was overpowered, but that's part of the job, he guesses. Part of his non-superpowered, regular-old-dude job, pulling the rug out from under his legs fast enough that his wings don't open in time for him not to hit the floor.

Or something. Poetry and metaphor have never been his strong suit and Sam's been leaning his bruised temple against this cell door for a good seventy-two hours, and it has been seventy-two hours of dull grey monotony and the uncertainty of Bad Guys Over There In That Other Room Probably to keep him company, until like, two seconds ago, when Bucky tried to rhinoceros his way through five inches of titanium. At least the dent gives the place some character.

"Hm," comes Buck's voice, muffled from the other side of the block.

"She ain't budging, huh," says Sam.

"I'm gonna have to get creative."

Bucky's voice, which he had somehow convinced himself he was not going to hear anytime soon. It's flat and sardonic and comin' out like nothing in the world is wrong. Down-to-business, punch-our-way-through-problems, can't-crack-a-smile-at-one-of-Sam's-most-excellent-jokes Bucky Barnes materialized with a sudden whispered Sam? after seventy-two miserable hours where Sam had to reflect on his own mortality, reflect, also, on the fact that he followed this lead without telling anyone like a dumbass because Walters was concerned about press, worry about the definite human trafficking that probably is going on in places exactly like this that he was not successful at thwarting, and have little to no way of contacting his family or his professional work partner to let them know he was alive.

Sam is definitely too exhausted to cry, but he thinks maybe in another version of these events, he would have.

"Creative," says Sam, out loud. His voice sounds reedy 'cause he hasn't used it in like three days. Which is another point against these guys; Sam's got a great voice, thank you very much. Mrs. Landry from his parents' church used to say he should do choir in school.

He didn't, but like, still.

"Not your strong suit," Bucky agrees, which Sam disagrees with on principle. There's some vague grunting, and a muttered swear word. Sam wonders if Bucky's trying to pry his literal fingers under the whateverthefuckton door; it wouldn't be the first time. A gunshot sounds, coming from far away.

"Bucky --" Sam starts.

"If you're having a hard time with your memory, I'll gladly point out how me and AJ kicked your ass in Pictionary last month."

"You need leverage," says Sam.

"I know I need leverage."

"What if you punched the grate out? You can do titanium, right?"

More muffled noises, then Bucky says, "Nope. Had to give them the arm."

"What?" A very tame way of expressing Sam's actual sentiment, which is the mental equivalent of that rhino running right into him, personally.

"It's fine. Firewalled anyway."

"Firewalled?!"

"And Yelena's getting it back. With Ayo's help."

Sam pushes himself against the corner of the cell, "What the hell is that supposed to mean!"

There's a small grated window, smooth titanium also, that peaks in and out of the cell; Bucky's face appears in this now. Another two gunshots sound.

"Hi," he says,

"Bucky --"

"It's fine. Just Yelena. Is it load bearing?"

Sam gapes. "The wall?"

"The door, yes," Bucky says, a bit impatiently. Sam can't really see much of him; just a pair of thick frowny eyebrows hovering in blank space. "Yelena can bench more than most, but the expression is usually --"

"Are you seriously asking this after you tried to knock it down?"

Bucky ignores this, "Follow up question --"

"Bucky!"

"Gimme your belt, I wanna try something."

The urgency of the situation is not lost on Sam; he takes his suit's utility belt off, very strategically devoid of all its weaponry and with the vibranium glittering in its mesh weave, and shoves it through the crack between those grated bars. He watches it appear again, looped around one of the bars -- then, to the continued echoes of skirmish above them, hears a low, built-up creaking noise.

It's satisfying in the way things you've come to expect are. Life just doesn't quite feel right when Bucky can't shoulder his way through situations involving dungeon-tier bad guys and guns . Sam feels the relief well up inside his gut, and almost forgets to lift his arms up over his head at the last second.

The door warps, caves, rips away with a metal scream.

He has a self-deprecating quip on the tip of his tongue, more vinegar than he's got any right to be but also Sam is tired, worn out, pissed off with himself. It tangles up and doesn't get nowhere. Bucky is, very suddenly, in front of him. He is wide-eyed and bruised on the jaw, bloodied at the collar of his shirt like he's just got out of a scrap fight, missing his fucking arm in a way his tone didn't give for a second, and before Sam can open his mouth he is being pulled into a very rough, very sudden, bone crushing hug.

Seventy-two hours, Sam's brain supplies belatedly. And there's been some weird shit going on recently.

Three mississippis pass in the dark of the dungeon. Sam works through his exhaustion to process, and with very minutely trembling arms hugs Bucky back.

#aaaah i forgot how liberating dashes and commas can be when u have literally no brain in your head #but are still determined to create things instead of wallowing #my writing #taylor swift prompt meme #hopefully this suits zainabs sensibilities as it was written for her #tfatws #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sam x bucky #sambucky #the implication here is that bucky called in favours from both yelena and ayo bc sam is Important #but that's just a convoluted explanation for the real reason. which is that i think theyre neat.#marvel

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literaryavenger · 3 months

Text

Captain America: Civil War - 5

Summary: Team Cap gets taken to the Raft.

Pairing: Avengers x Reader, Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Descriptions of injuries. Language. Mentions of Y/N. A little angst if you squint. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 1.8K

A/N: Thank god it took me very little to finish this one! Hope you like it!

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

The Raft.

That’s where they sent you after they arrested you in Germany. The fucking Raft.

You haven’t even seen Wanda since you were handed your very unstylish new clothes and they made you change.

You got separated from her when they took you to your cell between Scott's and Sam's. You dread what they're going to do to her, but you're powerless to stop them.

You sit on the ground of your cell and don’t move from there, barely registering what happens around you until the sound of clapping snaps you out of your trance.

“The Futurist, gentlemen!” Clint shouts but you still don’t move, just listening to the scene. “The Futurist is here! He sees all! He knows what's best for you, whether you like it or not.”

“Give me a break, Barton.” You hear Tony say and almost show some emotion, but stop yourself. “I had no idea they'd put you here. Come on.”

You hear Clint spit and then say “Yeah, well, you knew they'd put us somewhere, Tony.”

“Yeah, but not some super-max floating ocean pokey. You know, this place is for maniacs. This is a place for…”

“Criminals?” Clint interrupts him. “Criminals, Tony. Think that's the word you're looking for. Right? That didn't used to mean me. Or Sam, or Y/N, or Wanda. But here we are.”

“Because you broke the law.” Tony says.

“Yeah.” Clint says back and starts chanting “La la la la la” while Tony talks, making you grin slightly.

“I didn't make you. You read it, you broke it.” Tony keeps talking. “Alright, you're all grown up, you got a wife and kids. I don't understand, why didn't you think about them before you chose the wrong side.” he says and your face falls again immediately, knowing Tony went too far.

“You gotta watch your back with this guy.” Clint says before slamming his hands on the bars angrily. “There's a chance he's gonna break it!”

“Hank Pym always said, you never can trust a Stark.” You hear Scott say from the cell on your right.

“Who are you?” Tony says, his voice closer to you than before, and you can hear Scott mumbling “Come on, man.”

Tony gets to your cell and sees you sitting on the ground, hugging your knees tight to your chest, your head resting back on the wall while you look straight ahead.

Tony is nothing short of shocked when he sees your face all beat up and bruised, your arm bandaged with blood seeping through it showing just how big and deep the cut is, all courtesy of Ayo.

“I never wanted to see you like this...” Tony says softly but you don’t even react to his words.

He’s standing in front of you but it’s like he’s not even there, like you’re looking right through him to something more interesting behind him.

Tony sighs and shakes his head before moving to Sam’s cell.

“How's Rhodes?” Sam asks right away.

“They're flying him to Columbia Medical tomorrow. So… fingers cross.” Tony answers and you close your eyes, grateful that he’s still alive at least. “What do you need? They feed you yet?”

“You're the good cop now?” Sam asks almost in disbelief.

“I'm just the guy who needs to know where Steve went.” Tony answers calmly.

“Well, you better go get a bad cop, because you're gonna have to go Mark Fuhrman on my ass to get information out of me.”

“Oh, I just knocked the 'A' out of their 'AV'.” Tony says, much too playfully for your taste. “We got about 30 seconds before they realize it's not their equipment.”

You furrow your eyebrows at his next sentence. “Just look. Because that is the fellow who was supposed to interrogate Barnes. Clearly, I made a mistake. Sam, I was wrong.”

Your eyes snap open at his apology and, even though you can’t see either of them, you know Sam’s feeling the same way as you, which is confirmed by his next sentence. “That's a first.”

“Cap is definitely off the reservation but he's about to need all the help he can get. We don't know each other very well. You don't have to-”

“Hey, it's alright.” Sam interrupts him, then you hear him sigh and after a little pause he says “Look, I'll tell you… but you have to go alone and as a friend.”

“Easy.” Tony says and Sam proceeds to tell him all about the Hydra base in Siberia and the other supersoldiers.

When Tony leaves, Sam once again tries to make sure you’re okay even if he hasn’t had luck at getting an answer out of you since you got here.

He knocks twice on the wall between you two then pauses and then knocks three more times fast before talking, a thing you two started doing since you both moved into the Avengers Compound so you would know it was the other knocking right away. “Are you okay?”

You don’t answer him and can hear him sighing before continuing talking.

“Look, I’m sorry you got caught up in this and-”

“I don’t regret the choice I made, Sam.” You interrupt him before he can finish his sentence, speaking up for the first time since you got arrested at the airport. “As much as this sucks, it was the right thing to do. I know it was.”

You don’t say anything else. Sam can tell you mean it and he knows better than to push you.

“They’ll be okay.” He says after a moment of silence and then lets you be.

You know he means Steve, Bucky and Tony but you can’t help but think he’s trying to reassure you that Bucky’s gonna be fine.

And you can only hope that he’s right.

A couple of weeks after Tony’s visit there’s a commotion in the prison.

You haven’t so much as made a sound since that day, aside from your daily knock on the wall between you and Sam so he can make sure you’re okay, knowing you well enough to know you don’t want to talk but still wanting to check in.

But you can’t help but let out a loud gasp when you see Steve just standing in front of your cells.

You look around when the cell doors open and you hesitantly get up from the floor and walk towards Steve. He hugs Sam, then you, then Clint and then pats Scott on the back, but doesn’t linger long before he’s guiding you towards another level where Wanda is.

You get to her just as the door to her cell opens and you rush inside with Clint to take off her collar while he takes off her straightjacket. You hug her tightly and wrap your arm around her with Clint to help her move you since she looks a little worse for wear.

You manage to move through the prison without problems. You have to hand it to Steve, he’s a hell of a criminal.

When you get to the landing pad you see the Quinjet ready for take off and you all rush inside just to see Bucky at the commands and you smile brightly at the sight.

You have no time to comment, though, as Sam shouts “What are you waiting for?! Go!”

Bucky rolls his eyes but calmly says “We have one more coming.”

You frown. One more? You turn to Steve confusedly but before you can ask anything you can see blond hair darting into the Quinjet and then Natasha’s there.

Bucky instantly takes off and you all take seats and buckle up.

There’s a moment of silence while everyone processes what just happened, but you break it while looking at Natasha that’s sitting directly in front of you.

“Are we gonna talk about the hair?” You ask arching your eyebrow with a smirk.

She groans in annoyance and you can hear the others chuckling while she says “We are not.”

After a few hours you all get to a safehouse and Steve ushers you in before showing you around.

It’s not bad: a secluded cabin with three bedrooms, not too big but Steve assured you you wouldn’t be staying there long anyway. Which makes sense, you're on the run now so this is just temporary.

After the tour Bucky approaches you in the living room and only then you notice he’s missing his metal arm.

“You flew the jet with only one arm? That’s impressive…” You can’t help yourself as you reach to touch his left shoulder, your eyes fixated on it. But stop on your tracks when you feel his right hand carefully cupping your cheek.

Your eyes snap up to his and you can see him thoroughly inspecting the wounds in your face that are still healing a little. He grimaces when he looks down at your bandaged arm and whispers “I’m sorry…”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle, Sergeant.” You smile softly at him and put your hand over his still on your cheek, trying to reassure him that you’re fine.

“I bet you can, doll.” He chuckles.

You’re too busy staring at each other to notice everyone’s attention is on you until Steve clears his throat with an apologetic look on his face.

“We need to go, Buck.” He says and you look confusedly between the two men.

“I’m going back into cryo.” Bucky clarifies for you.

“Oh.” Is all you can say and your eyes widen for a second before you force yourself to put on a more neutral face.

“It’s okay.” He smiles at you, but you feel like he’s trying to convince himself as much as you. “It’s nothing I can’t handle, doll.”

You try your best to smile and not look too bummed out. “I bet you can, Sergeant.”

You hesitate for a moment before surprising him, the others and even yourself by giving him a hug. He hesitates too before delicately hugging you back and, after a moment, you pull away.

He smiles at you with a faint blush and you smile back, watching him walk to the door.

Steve passes you on his way to the door and kisses your forehead, whispering “He’ll be okay” before saying goodbye to the rest of the team, assuring you that he’ll be back soon. Then he also goes through the door and soon both the supersoldiers are gone.

You turn around with a sigh and see Sam, Natasha and Clint standing there, grinning at you, Wanda and Scott looking more compassionate than teasing.

You narrow your eyes at the first three and say sternly “Not. A. Word.” punctuating every word by pointing threateningly at each of them.

They raise their hands in mock surrender while snickering but thankfully don’t say anything and everyone just scatters around the safehouse.

You see the Quinjet depart from the window and try your best to look at the bright side: This isn’t forever, you’ll see him again.

Right?

Requested taglist: @sapphirebarnes @aki-ham @mary-jinx @abbyyourlocalmilf @selcouthial @esposadomd @americaarse

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holylulusworld · 1 year

Text

Deranged Marriage (1) - Let it go

Title: Deranged Marriage

Summary: Your father wants you to choose a husband. Your chosen one doesn’t like the idea one bit.

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Characters: Ayo, Okoye, Jake Jensen, Steve Rogers

Warnings: arranged marriage, language, unwilling groom, angst, Bucky being an ass, sadnes, banter, tension

A/N: I got no self-control so this will have more than one part.

Deranged Marriage masterlist

“Why, not daddy,” you whine as your father refuses to let you leave the party. “I’m an adult, you know. I want to spend some quality time with my friends.”

“Sweetie, you are a grown woman and must stop acting like a teenager. I want you to finally choose a husband. I got a list including a complete background check.”

Your father points at one of his business partners. “How about him? Or Stark’s son. I heard he adopted yet another boy. Maybe he’s your age.”

“Daddy, no. All your business partners are old, and their sons are stupid frat boys. I want a good-looking, strong, sexy, and tough man.”

“Fine,” your father seems to be just done with your behavior today. “Choose whoever you want. I don’t care. Just let me check his background first.” He shoves his glasses back up his nose. “Or do you prefer a pretty lady, sweetie? I’m open-minded, Y/N.”

“Daddy,” you mutter as he chuckles. Your father doesn’t seem to care you are close to throwing a tantrum. “Gosh, this is so annoying. I don’t need a husband to rule your empire.”

“I’m sure of it, sweetie,” he wraps his arm around your shoulders, guiding you toward one of his newer business partners. “How about Rogers? He’s not too bad to look at.”

“He’s tall and attractive, but he only has eyes for that uptight British chick,” you sigh deeply. “You know that.”

“I don’t care. If I say he must marry you, he’ll do it.”

“And cheat on me,” you huff.

“Who else caught your attention, Y/N?” your father nudges your side. “You know I want you to be happy. But people are people. Especially in my line of work. You’ll need a strong man by your side.”

“I want—” you let your eyes wander. “I want…” you dip your head to glance at the man who caught your eyes months ago.

“Who, sweetie? I want you to tell me his or her name,” your father whispers so no one can spy on him. Even among his friends and partners spies and traitors are waiting for their chance.

“Barnes,” you point at James Buchanan Barnes. The cockiest and grumpiest of your father’s business partners. That man dared to ignore you for three years, and now, he’ll finally pay you attention.

“You want Barnes?” your father gasps. “You know he’s got quite the reputation. He’s not the kind of man settling for one woman, Y/N.”

“He’s tall, handsome, strong and I like his metal arm. It makes him imperfect but perfect at the same time. Like a poem without a rhyme or a painting missing a color,” you watch the brunette mobster push his neatly gelled hair back.

Bucky takes a large sip from his drink as he watches your father from across the room. He knows that his business partner is looking for a husband to take care of you. The mobster simply is not interested in your bratty ass.

“She’s staring your way, Buck,” Steve snickers. “Do you think she will choose you? I bet you’ll be putty in her hands.”

“Like hell,” Bucky grumbles. “I won’t marry. Not now. Not ever. He can keep his little brat. She’s the worst.”

Steve nods but watches his friend look your way again. “If you say so, Buck. I will get another drink and hide in the back before she finds me…”

“Barnes,” your father stalks toward your chosen husband. “We should talk about business. I know this is a party, but my girl chose you.”

“Chose me?” Bucky smirks in amusement. “What am I to her? One of the dogs you bought her only for her to lose them on of her shopping trips.”

“You know that I’m looking for someone to protect my daughter. She will take over my empire and will need a reliable and loyal man by her side.”

“No.”

You are fuming next to your father. James Buchanan Barnes dares to not even look at you. He once again ignores your whole existence.

“No?” you huff. “You should be honored I chose you. Men would kill to even get a smile from me.”

“They will kill themselves if you ever smile at them,” you gasp at his words. No one dared to talk to you like this before. “Don’t you get it, doll? No one likes you. You’re a spoiled brat without manners and you’re not my type.”

“Careful now, Barnes. I respected your father and we are partners. This doesn’t mean I let you talk like that to my daughter.”

“Sir, with all due respect, I won’t marry your daughter,” Bucky finally looks at you. “She is annoying, loud, and immature. Even her friends hate her.”

“My friends love me,” you fight back. “What do you know about my friends?” He laughs about your antics.

“I know that the girl you call your best friend since childhood is so afraid of what you will do to her family that she pretends to be your friend for almost fifteen years.”

“You’re lying. I hate you!”

“Oh, sweetness,” he takes a step toward you to look you up and down. “All of them are afraid of your father and his men. Did you ever think about how they will never say no? All of them always follow your lead.”

“No…” you step back, shaking your head. “I met Lavender at school. She wouldn’t lie. She’s my friend.”

You turn on your heels to run out of the ballroom, angrily wiping your tears off your cheeks. Bucky’s rejection and his words hit you hard.

“How dare he reject me. How dare he tell me lies about my friends!”

“He lied…he lied…” you pace back and forth while clutching a picture of you and Lavender to your chest. "She's my friend. All of them are…”

You sit on your bed, opening an old picture album. There are pictures of you and Lavender at the age of ten. You smile into the camera as your father just bought you another dog.

“She’s my friend,” closely looking at the picture you recognize for the first time that your friend doesn’t smile. There is something in her eyes you never saw before. Fear.

“No…no.”

You turn the pages, looking at all the pictures of you and your friends. “No…” You slam the album shut and fling it across the room. “She was a kid and a little intrigued by daddy and his men. I’m sure about it.”

For a moment you sit there in silence, remembering the day you met your best friend. She was new at your school. The only one not making a beeline around you.

Well, the other kids knew better than to get involved with a mafia boss’s daughter.

That day, someone wanted to mess with her and stole her backpack. She cried and you stepped in. One glare from you and the boy dropped the backpack and ran for his life. He didn’t have the guts to mess with you.

Lavender smiled and thanked you. She even hugged you, taking you by surprise. After school, you offered to drive her home. Or rather, your bodyguard drove her home.

You saw her father look at your bodyguard. It was written all over his face that he was scared of the man protecting you.

“What if…?” you whisper to yourself as you unlock your phone to look at more recent pictures. Lavender and you at her birthday party. You and your friends at a club. Lavender and her brother at a pool party. “She never smiles. None of them smiles.”

“Y/N, it’s me Okoye,” you sigh deeply as your bodyguard calls from outside your room. “Ayo is here too. Do you want to join us? Come on. Screw Barnes.”

“I’m a little tired.”

“What did he say, Y/N? Why are you hiding in your room?”

“It’s nothing. I got a terrible migraine and want to sleep. Don’t worry. Barnes can eat shit. I don’t care.”

“If you need me to kill him, give us a call.”

“Mr. James,” you nervously look at your best friend’s father. Barnes's words wouldn’t let you sleep. Now three days later you drove out of town to visit Lavender’s parents. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure…Y/N,” he stammers. “What can I do for you?”

“Lavender,” you lick your dry lips. “I—are you and your daughter afraid of my father? I need to know if Lavender became my friend out of fear.”

“No…” he chuckles nervously. “Why do you say such a thing? Lavender is your friend.”

“I see.”

You swallow audibly. Accepting the truth is the worst and most painful thing you’ll ever experience. “Thank you for your time. I hope you have a great day.”

“Wait…are you mad at Lavender? Did she do anything wrong?” the look in his eyes brings you to tears. Lavender’s father fears for his daughter’s life only because you came to visit them.

“Oh, no! I was just asking myself if we should take a break from our friendship. I’m quite busy with upcoming tasks and possible marriage. I hope Lavender won’t be mad.”

“What? No! She would never be mad at you. Lavender is your friend.”

“Of course, she is,” you nod in agreement. “A friend of mine will always be safe. Even if we cannot see each other for a long time. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Hi, Lavender,” you leave her a voicemail. You didn’t have it in you to face your friend, so you make it easier for you and her. “Listen, we were friends for so long but I kinda grew out of our friendship. We should give each other space. Uh-I mean you should spend more time with your family and your other friends. Stay safe and thank you for being a good friend.”

You end the call before she can hear you choke out a sob. “Another one,” you sigh deeply. Before you ended your friendship with Lavender, you called all of your friends.

Barnes was right. None of your so-called friends was a real friend. It didn’t take you long to find out that all of them are scared of your father and his men.

“What’s up, sweetness?” Jake pokes his head into your room. “What did you do with all the information I got for you?”

“Jensen, not now,” you throw your phone against the wall. “I’m not in the mood for one of your not-funny jokes.”

“Whoa, who fucked with you?” he asks. “Do you want me to send them a nice little virus?” Jake grins.

“No,” shaking your head you sigh deeply. “I just need a little me time.”

Jake silently closes your door. He is just another employee of your father. Not a friend nor an ally. You won’t make the mistake and trust anyone ever again.

“What are you doing?” you roll your eyes when your new nemesis, Bucky Barnes himself strolls toward you. “Oh, are you cold?”

He looks at the brazier, frowning as you throw pictures of your friends, trinkets, and plushies inside the fire.

“What do you want, Barnes?” he furrows his brows when you don’t even look at him. Usually, you’d hang on to his every word. “I’m kinda busy here.”

“I can see that.”

Bucky crouches down to look at the box you placed next to the brazier. It’s filled with all the memories you made with your friends. “Why are you burning that shit?”

“I’m cold,” you snap at him. “Can you leave me alone? Don’t you have a granny to rob or people to kill? Or whatever an important and all-grown man like you does.”

“Aw, are you having a little campfire on your own,” Bucky mocks you, but you don’t give a shit. “How about we get some marshmallows.”

“Fuck off.”

“Watch your tongue, my lovely bride,” he sneers as you finally look at him. “You made it. I got no other choice but to marry you. Your father made sure of it.”

“I don’t care anymore,” you crouch down to grab a handful of pictures to throw them into the fire. “Go and fuck some prissy little missy. You are not man enough for me anyways.”

“Not man enough?” he laughs darkly. “You wouldn’t survive our wedding night.”

“Because you are always dressed to kill?” you cock your head and look Bucky up and down. “Maybe you rejected me because you like your friend Steve more.”

“I can fuck whoever I want to. Men, women, both,” Bucky picks the box up and empties its inherits into the fire.

“What the fuck! That was my ritual. You cannot come here and ruin everything all over again. You’re such an asshole!”

“Well, no shit doll,” he growls back. “Remember, you asked for this. A little girl forcing a man like me into marriage; dumbest move ever.”

“FUCK YOU!”

“You wish I would, but I won’t,” Bucky snarls. “I will fuck my way through town while you will be waiting at home. You will be a nice little trophy wife, nothing else.”

“In your dreams,” pushing against Bucky’s chest you scream in frustration as he won’t budge. “My father will have your head if you dare to fuck with me.”

“He won’t,” he grins down at you while you slap his chest. “I agreed to become his new right-hand man to take over his empire one day.”

“No—I’ll take over his empire. I’m his legacy,” you stop hitting Bucky. “He can’t do this…he can’t. All my life I only did what he wanted. I never had real friends because they were afraid of him.”

You step away from Bucky, shaking in anger. “We will see, dollface…we will see…”

>> Part 2

Tags in reblog.

#Deranged Marriage #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #mobster!bucky #mobster!bucky barnes x fem!reader #mafia #bucky barnes x female reader #angst #bucky barnes x you

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allandoflimbo · 10 months

Text

Never Again (1)

Pairing// Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Type of story// Multi-Chapter

Bucky and Y/N hate each other. A lot. This isn’t your average enemies to lovers story. This is an enemies and lovers story. It will be dark. There will be sex.

Never Again masterlist || updated every thursday

Bucky

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Asa Nusara.” Bucky’s voice was like warm honey laced in gold.

“Your attempt at lying is becoming more unconvincing by the day, James.” Asa replied jokingly, but with a serious tone.

Bucky frowned as the back of his fingers traced over her dark beautiful skin on her cheeks. His thumb runs over her brow bone and then up over her head.

A beautiful black tattoo in the shapes of waves followed over her skull.

He traced those as well.

Asa could feel her heart accelerate as his blue eyes finally found her black ones.

Usually, he would play along with her jokes, but this time, his face stayed serious.

“I’d never lie to you, Ukatana.” He whispers.

The last word dangles in the air. The post coital energy around them envelopes the word tightly, holding onto what’s left of the conviction he’s trying to convey to her.

He feels her bare legs run in between his and she lets out a pleased sigh.

She takes his hand that’s on her face into her own hands and intertwines their fingers together.

Leaning in closer to him, she rests her forehead against his.

She thinks she’s going to fall asleep.

Bucky lets his nose slide against hers, tilting his head just slightly to capture her lips in a soft and gentle kiss.

“You really have to go in the morning?” He asks, pouting his bottom lip like a little boy.

“Ayo and Okoye need me. I need them. We need possession of the orifice necklace.” She states, her authority and dominance showing him that there is no hesitation in the matter, leaving no room for anything to get in the way.

He respected this greatly.

“I’ll be damned to find out why that necklace is so special that you must be away from me for a weekend,” he brings her hand to his lips and kisses the matte black band on the ringer finger. It was interlaced with gold vibranium, “unacceptable. you’ve only been my wife for nine days and I already have to let you go.”

Nusara chuckled.

“Forty-eight hours. It’s barely letting me go.” She leans forward and kisses him again, “I’ll return Monday morning. We have to start packing anyway to go back to Wakanda. Did you forget our beautiful home awaits us?”

“And our little goats.” Bucky adds with a small chuckle.

“The goats are to stay at the farm, James. I mean our home.”

Bucky smiles and nods slowly.

He lets go of her hand and grabs the side of her waist, bringing her in closer to him.

“I know, Asa. I know.”

Asa drapes her left arm over Bucky’s torso and rests her right cheek just over heart.

In minutes, they’re both asleep in his small Brooklyn apartment where they had fallen more in love two years ago.

Monday evening rolls around faster than Bucky had thought it would. With packing and getting things ready for his move back to Wakanda, it took up most of his time and it kept him busy.

He had packed most of his things. He left most of Asa’s stuff untouched as to not invade her privacy, nor the Dora Milaje’s.

The black and red cape he was gifted on his wedding day to wear is the last thing he packs away into suitcase before he hears a knock at the front door.

He’s confused as he look at the door.

All his friends weren’t in town so it couldn’t be Sam or Wanda. The Thunderbolts haven’t been together in months, and Yelena was oversees.

Asa never knocked.

Bucky, with the help of his job to the government, had special biometric locks installed at his apartment so she would just use that to get in.

A knock wasn’t necessarily normal so the uneasy feeling he gets is expected.

Letting out a deep breath, he finishes zipping up the bag and stands up on sturdy legs before making his way over to the door.

When he opens it, standing there are Nakia and Ayo holding their vibranium spear, their postures high and head straight.

Standing in front of them is Shuri.

Aside from the formal arrival, what pushes Bucky’s nerves off the edge is Ayo’s obvious tear streaked cheeks.

His stomach sinks.

Hard.

“White wolf.” Shuri’s tone when she calls Bucky his title is sturdy but soft.

He knows that tone all to well.

Bucky ignores her completely, his trained eyes fixing on Ayo. Through much training and durability, she looks strong and powerful, but Bucky’s experience quickly helps him see the falt in her facade.

Her inexperience to hide emotion is in her eyes and the way she is currently blinking.

Bucky has a gut feeling but he won’t listen to it unless it’s said.

He puffs out his chest and his eyes stay on Ayo.

“Where’s Asa and Okoye?” Bucky asks Ayo. But Ayo is staring over his shoulder, unmoving, “Ayo-”

“Sergeant Barnes-” Shuri starts again.

“Okoye is back in Wakanda already.” Ayo responds, cutting Shuri off.

Bucky’s expression doesn’t change but his left eye twitches slightly. He can feel his hand tightening around his doorknob.

Nakia, Ayo, and Shuri step foot into the apartment, forcing Bucky to take a step backwards.

The door is closed behind them.

It’s then, in the privacy and intimate setting of his and Asa’s home, that Bucky’s walls start to deteriorate a little more. His breathing picks up and his eyes are switching back and forth between the three women.

They also are less stiff and Shuri’s eyes soften.

Time goes by slowly as nothing is said.

Bucky’s practically huffing out of his nose now as he take another step back.

“No.” Is all he says. It’s a low growl.

“I’m sorry—” Shuri barely gets her words out before Bucky’s palms goes to his eyes and he closes his lids tightly.

“No.” He says loudly.

“Bucky—” Shuri tries again.

Her words this time are cut off by a very audible shaky inhale through his nose.

Oh, he was going to cry.

They watch as his fingers grip into his hair, his eyes finally opening and gaze gluing down to the ground.

“I’m very sorry, Sargent Barnes.” Nakia.

His face turns into an angry snarl as he turns around.

“Damn it, damn it,” he repeats. His left hand grabs desperately as his hair, “damn it!” He yells so loudly it bounces off the walls.

His vision is compromised now. Water is all he can see.

Pain and anger is all he can feel.

Ayo isn’t one to easily flinch, but Bucky’s kick to the glass coffee table does it for her.

“No, no, no,” he keeps saying to himself. Shuri swallows hard, wiping a lone tear off her face that had fallen during his last yell, “Shuri, no.” Bucky whimpers as he finally turns around to face them. Their heart breaks as they watch him finally burst into tears, “please.”

Bucky looks like he’s moments away from collapsing, his face paling dramatically, when Shuri’s hands goes to his shoulders. She gives him a sympathetic look as she guides them both slowly to sit down on his couch. The shards of glass breaks underneath her shoes and the soft fabric of the sofa underneath them, is the only sound for a few seconds until they are finally next to each other.

He falls apart.

Bucky brings her in for a tight hug.

She swallows thickly as his sobs echo loudly around the room.

They don’t know how long they stay like that.

It feels like hours until he speaks again.

Eyes bloodshot, he stares at his hands between his knees as he picks at them.

He’s also cried out; heart and soul deflated.

“How’d it happen?” He asks, ripping off the bandaid.

His voice is hoarse and he sounds rough.

“We had traced down the orifice. We were just about to enter the chamber it was located in when our entire system was breached,” Nakia states with a steady voice, “it caught us all off guard. He—” she stops right away and Bucky’s eyes drifts from his hands to the space above it. He knows she’s talking about whoever it was that murdered his wife, “It— we don’t know who the figure was—it wore all black, covered head to two, not nearly as skilled but it caught us off guard enough that when they came in—” Bucky’s face twists at this, he almost looks disgusted and physically repulsed by what he was hearing, “she was the one inside —it was fast. Too fast for reaction.”

There’s a long silence. They can feel his fury as Bucky slowly stares up at Nakia.

“You’re telling me,” He sounds menacing and cold, “an incompetent criminal in comparison to the Dora Milaje, caught my wife and her friends off guard enough to kill her in a fraction of a second and escape fast enough for you to not even see who the hell they were?”

His loud voice reverbs around them.

They felt guilty, and just as pained as him.

Nakia swallows thickly and blinks away the tears in her eyes.

“They were fast.”

“I heard you the first damn time!” He screams.

Ayo’s spear comes down hard in front of Nakia as a form of protection.

Bucky stands abruptly and points behind him as he stares at Nakia.

“My wife was in there alone! You let her go in alone! You left her without protection, without guarding her back. You let her with a will of your own step into that room and didn’t think to keep your guard up after a breaching, and watched her get killed!”

A spear is placed horizontally to his throat by Ayo and Bucky swallows hard.

He knows better than to react this way.

These girls weren’t just the most powerful women he had ever known in his life and deserved the upmost respect, especially after what they’ve done for him, but they were his friends.

He’s being emotional and irrational.

“James. Step back.” Ayo says. Bucky does as he is told, more tears falling out of his eyes, “Nakia wasn’t even on this mission.”

Bucky looks at Ayo. He sniffs.

“But you were, Ayo.”

Ayo swallows hard.

“I was,” her voice is less uneven, “And what she is telling you is the truth. None of us saw it coming. I don’t think the person that was there even realized we were either. I’m so truly sorry. I know you are in pain, and so are we. If we could’ve prevented it we would’ve, but it happened very quickly. She was killed before we realized someone else was even in there.”

He didn’t know what he wanted to do anymore. As his heart trembled, Bucky wasn’t sure if he wanted to set the world on fire or himself.

He steps away from them and walks over to his window. He looks outside into the Manhattan skyline.

He bites at his bottom lip as he tries to control more bottled emotions.

He refuses to look around his apartment, but it’s hard to when he sees some of the reflection of it in the glass.

It was a reminder that Asa had been here just two days ago, living a domestic life with him.

His heart pains again and he whimpers.

It takes him minutes to realize Ayo had come up behind him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I’m assuming they got away? Since you don’t know who they are.” They don’t have to verbally respond. The silence is already an answer for him, “and that they got the necklace.”

Pointless mission.

Failed mission.

With a cost- a loss.

His wife.

“How did it happen?” He asks, emotionless.

He had to find out information. He needed it. No matter how hard.

“Gun shot.”

He swallows the knock in his throat and keeps his back rigid, eyes never deviating from the skyline.

“Where?” He asks next. There’s a long silence and he can feel his anger brewing even further. Brewing for the stranger that did this to his wife, “where?”

“Her skull.”

Bucky cringes.

“Fuck.” He breathes out.

He runs a hand down his face.

“And Okoye?”

“Stray bullet grazed her cheek. She’s in recovery.”

Bucky’s welcome to Wakanda a week later was much more than warming.

Everyone was heartfelt and kind to him. He appreciated it, he always would from this country, but he also expected no less.

They felt pity for a young widower. For a loss of one of their greatest in their force.

The loss of a powerful woman, the greatest he’s ever known; fallen to a bullet.

He never would’ve expected this. Not in a million years.

The funeral is a nightmare. People greet him as if they’ve known him forever, some he never even knew. They don’t give him space and they mention her name each time.

He could only handle so much.

He hates thinking about it, but her coffin is gorgeous, laced in gold and red vibranium.

He watches, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, as its lowered to its resting place at the end of the evening, just before sun fall.

Bucky doesn't take off his wedding ring.

He doesn’t think he ever will.

The Wakandans still allow him to reside in the city if he chooses. He’s surprised they’ve even given him an option since what happened with Zemo. Asa had been, for the most part, his plane ticket in.

His and Asa’s beautiful apartment remains untouched and brand new. It grazes the highest of clouds as it overlooks the rivers and hills he’s learned to call home.

Now, this beauty reminds him of his lost love. It physically breaks his heart.

Looking into the bright orange sun, he’s reminded of the stolen nights in the huts.

He remembers their long nights where they would help their goats and sheep give birth to their little babies, when she had taught him how to bottle feed them.

When they had fallen deeply in love and had their beautiful Wakandan wedding.

Being here, in their apartment, without her, felt wrong.

“Hey.” Sam’s voice startles Bucky for a moment before he turns around to face his best friend.

Sam gives him a weak but genuine smile.

Bucky sticks his hands in his pockets and looks back into the setting Sun.

“Doesn’t feel right being here anymore.” Bucky feels that anger again, the one that makes him physically boil.

“What’s next?” Sam asks.

“I’m going to find him, Sam. I’m going to find who did this and stick a knife through his heart.”

You

Your life was destroyed at nineteen years old.

Up until then, you served as a Hydra operative. Your father was one and Hyda is all you’ve known. You were taught by them and trained by them. Willingly, you stayed. You worked as a recruited spy, performing mediocre missions for them when needed.

It had been going well for you, until your nineteenth birthday.

You were taken in the middle of the night, drugged and blind folded.

When you woke up, your living hell began.

You woke up in a dark cell.

To your left was a bolted door that probably weighed hundreds of pounds. To the right of that was a little metal bucket.

The stench was unbearable and you were freezing cold.

The walls around you were cement, molded, and so was the floor underneath you. You were terrified as you continued to awaken from your drugged state, finally gathering the energy to begin crawling at the chains around your wrist.

You were chained.

You began hyperventilating.

You became frantic as you tried getting them off.

“Hayden.” You stopped. The voice got your attention and you looked towards the door. It began to creak open. You found yourself moving away from the man, your legs flailing wildly as you tried to get away, but he kept getting closer. “Hayden.” He says again.

“That’s—that’s not my name.” You stutter out, throat dry like sand paper.

“It is now.” He crouches down in front of you and repeats, “Hayden.”

You didn’t have the patience for games.

“Where am I?” You ask, stronger this time.

“You’re at a Hydra facility, agent.”

You frown.

You were being held captive, treated as an enemy. Why were you taken against your will? By your own people?

“I don’t understand. I would’ve just come if asked.”

The man chuckles and shakes his head.

“Not for this,” he leaches forward for a strand of your hair and rolls it between his fingers, “you were chosen specifically for this, but we wanted to make sure you wouldn’t back out.”

You felt pride.

“As long as it’s in the desire of Hydra and helps us, I most likely wouldn’t back out.” You say matter-of-factly.

It’s then that you realize your face is covered entirely. The only thing peaking out are your eyes. That’s why your voice was muffled.

The dark eyed man nods his head.

“You were chosen as test subject zero eight seven six for the orifice experiment.” He says.

You’ve heard of it before.

“Human enhancement, but with the capability of healing and given any power of their choosing, based off placebo and free will. Mental. It’s energy is off psychosis.” You say.

“Correct. Which is why it needs to be a hydra agent. Your power of your choosing will side with our shared desires. Your controlled power will originate from this,” he holds something up in front of you.

It’s a gold chain, and dangling off of it is a red stone, circle shaped.

It shines, its light bouncing off your face.

It was gorgeous.

You find yourself reaching for it naturally before he pulls it away from you.

“We will train you, little girl. Then we’ll begin experiments. But between experiments, your endurance will be put to the test.”

You could only frown as you heard the door open again.

When your eyes landed on the new guest of arrival, a shiver ran down your spine.

You weren’t star struck.

You were repulsed.

Despite the urge to get away as far as possible, his blue eyes were startling in the darkness of the room. They were piercing and hard to look away from.

You had only ever heard about him.

Hydra’s biggest and best asset.

The man who not only surpassed you in every way possible, but believed in everything you didn’t.

It didn’t matter to you that he was now part of Hydra, because in reality he wasn’t.

He, Bucky, believed in everything you didn’t. This man in front of you right now was just a puppet.

You never understood how Hydra could accept that.

You hate everything he stood for as both Bucky and the winter soldier.

You were equally envious of this Weapon as you were disgusted by it.

He had only gotten so close to you before you quickly hocked up what you had in your throat and spat it at his shoe.

“Slap her.” The man instructs loudly, “Enough to hurt, but not kill.”

Oh, bring it.

You grunted before the pain escaped in your skull. Your head fell back against the wall and you could taste the iron in your mouth.

Your vision went black for a fraction of a second.

“Hayden, this is just the start. He will make you endure pain so you can build your endurance and tolerance to it. And you’ll learn to take it.”

You didn’t enjoy this part of your gift.

You spat at the winter soldier’s feet again, this time blood was mixed in with your saliva.

“Hit me again, you piece of shit.” You grit your teeth at the soldier.

The man looks at Bucky and nods at him, and as the soldier is about to hit you, you kick his arm away, making him fall forward. You wrap your legs tightly around his head.

You let out a growl as you began to choke him with your thighs.

“Fight back, soldat.” You grunt through clenched teeth.

The soldier obliged, easily slipping from your grip and wrapping his left hand around your trachea.

You gasped for breath as you stared at those soulless eyes.

Blue like the sky on a sunny day.

Your least favorite kind of weather.

“Tomorrow will be your first dose, Hayden.” The man kicks the Weapon’s leg to let you go, “Soldat.”

You gasped again as his grip left your throat and you were able to breathe again.

“Rot in hell, you disgusting pig.” You say hoarsely through burning pain.

You were excited to be Hydra’s next test subject, and it started off well.

After your first dose of the burning drug, you became faster and gained more dexterity. You’ve never felt anything like that very first dose. You were convinced, you were all convinced, it was going to be a success.

But that was also when the accident happened.

You knew it was an accident when it happened, and not intentional, because you knew for a fact that Hydra wanted you in prime condition. They wanted you trained, but they didn’t want anything getting in the way of the experiment failing.

It happened fast.

You had been in the room again with the soldier. Your face was still covered, minus your eyes. You figured they wanted your identity hidden.

Bucky’s eyes never left yours. Not when you were punching him or when he kicked your head.

He had stood up, stepped on your cheek with his boot, and forced your face into the ground.

You’ve never felt any pain like it.

You grabbed his leg, pulling him down onto you when you felt that searing pain in your lower stomach.

You were gasping and breathing as your wide eyes stared back into his cold ones.

What the fuck did he just do?

“Soldat!” The shout came and the soldier quickly pulled himself off of you, knife still in hand.

They had punished him in a severe way that night, as deserved, and you were taken away to the medical wing.

For the first time in your short life, you almost showed a reaction of sorrow when after your surgery the doctor that told you he had shredded your entire uterus.

They had to use 15 litters of blood to keep you stable.

After three weeks in recovery, and being of no use to your people, you were finally allowed to resume training again.

This time, the soldier was only pulled out for you every once in a while.

Each time, you wanted to kill him. Kill him for being a disgrace to existence and for taking away something you never really wanted until it was gone.

After your second dose, you were the same in terms of strength and skill, but when three weeks went by without another dosage, they could sense something was wrong.

You started getting sick.

You were dying.

It didn’t take much for everyone to realize you were being poisoned by the serum.

Wether it was the incident with the soldier that threw it off, it was never confirmed, but suspected.

After your fourth dosage, you got better again, almost like a cure, and you were able to go three and a half weeks without getting sick.

With each dosage you stayed better for longer, but that was all it did for you.

Hydra took you off the mission five months later, choosing they’d terminate the project all together. You weren’t gaining more powers and it was killing you instead.

Issue with that was you now needed the dosage to keep surviving. After your eighth and last dosage at the facility, you’d knew you’d only be okay for two months before your body started dying again.

They promised to help you by sending you what you needed to keep you going. By your first year, you noticed your cure time was no longer prolonging. After each dosage, you’d only be able to be okay for four months before you got sick again.

The feeling you got when you were sick and being poisoned was unbearable.

It’s been ten years, and you still weren’t used to it.

You never had to worry about a lack of shortage or help since Hydra still had smart scientists prepping your medicine for you.

That is, until exactly three months ago when you got the news that the orifice dose was being discontinued due to lack of certain resources.

“They expect me to just die?”

“There is one way. One way we can try. The orifice necklace. Its power is immeasurable. Some of the strongest on earth. Maybe it could even cure you.” Your closest friend, and your favorite Hydra agent partner, Ivan says.

The orifice necklace.

“Gabrïël destroyed that after he found out my mission was a failure.” You say.

“That wasn’t the real one, Hayden. I can tell you where it is, but the issue is, there are others after it now, too.”

“Who?”

“Wakanda. Even some of the lasting Avengers. Other spies working for the government. Sword, even.”

“Tell me where it is. I can get there first.”

The night before you left for Mexico for the orifice necklace, you stared at what little you had left of your medication in your medicine cabinet.

You had two doses left, one which you would need to take in four weeks.

If you didn’t get that necklace soon, you were dead in nine months.

You wouldn’t dare tell a soul, but you were terrified.

Your hand trembled as you held one of the remaining doses.

You didn’t want to die, and least of all, you didn’t want to run into anyone while trying to retrieve it.

One of the people which was a complete waste and a vermin in your eyes.

You took a deep breath, and put the bottle back in the cabinet. You walked back to your room and sat on your bed.

You began looking through your photos on your phone.

It was a photo of you and Leo, your best friend, just a week before his murder.

He was killed by the attack in New York by the Avengers nearly a decade ago.

This was your reason for trying to get that necklace.

You would keep yourself alive for him.

Placing your phone down next you, you then roll up your left sleeve.

A large scar runs down the skin.

He had done that after your third dose.

You had then stabbed him in his thigh. You felt great when you’d done it, but when you were finally alone in your cell, you cried for the first time.

…

Bucky Barnes.

That’s what his name was.

“Get me in, Ivan.” You spoke through your com, “I can get out just fine with my speed, but I need it open first.”

“I’m trying, Y/N. You need to bare with me. Try going a little to your right.” Ivan says.

You roll your eyes and hold your arms a little higher. You had already gotten inside the coal mine and you were standing just outside the chamber, but through the back.

To avoid any possible run ins with the cocky avengers, you both decided this was the best approach.

You were lasering thorough the thick rocks, but the laser was acting up.

Just when you’re about to to complete the circle, it goes out again.

“Jesus, fuck, Ivan.”

“I’m doing my best here. I’m pulling what power I can without the risk of calling attention. Even if that side of the freaks aren’t here, if Hydra even finds out too, we’re screwed. They don’t know we’re here stealing this.”

“Don’t know why they never tried to get it before. Also, do you really think the avengers are even here yet? They don’t have the same power of jets they used to have when their lord and savior Stark was still around. And Hydra will give me a promotion for this. That is, if this necklace really works and actually saves my life.” Your voice drifts our towards the end.

“You’ll be fine.” Ivan says quietly, “Got it!” Just as he says that, the power returns to your laser and it finishes the cut. You keep your left hand on the rock so it doesn’t fall and make a loud noise. You lay it gently down on the floor.

You stand back and look at it.

“I guess it’s big enough for me to crawl through.”

“Make it fast.” Ivan says.

With a sigh you stick the laser in your back leather pocket and crawl down onto all fours. You shimmy your way through the whole and into the chamber Ivan led you to. It’s dark, smells like wet earth, and is humid. Your eyes dart around the room, until finally you find a marble box on a stand on the far right side of the room.

You were thankful for your enhanced eye sight. You knew a regular person wouldn’t be able to see it right away.

You could feel your excitement brewing.

This was your ticket to survival.

You didn’t want to die.

You open the box, and you feel the tears brewing in your eyes when you see it.

A beautiful red stone.

You take it into your hand. You don’t feel different yet, but you figured it takes time.

A very small sound of a foot on a small rock has you quickly going for your gun on your waist.

Pulling your face and hair covering higher over your head, you blindly aim your gun behind you, giving away three shots.

You know reaction is reckless and stupid. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn't haven’t pulled the trigger that soon, or at all. But with that necklace in your hand, you were afraid of losing it.

You were desperate. Your action was irrational as you shot at whatever was behind you, and escaping through your man made hole.

And then you ran and ran in the darkness.

The orifice necklace was right there, right in your hand.

“I have it, Ivan. I have it!” You shouted happily as you ran towards your jet.

“Make it quick, Y/N. I see something here on my radar.”

“On it.” You reply back curtly.

You retrace your steps with practice. The second you’re back in your seat, the sigh that leaves your mouth is palpable.

Ivan’s already in the pilot seat, getting the aircraft ready for take off.

You pull the necklace out of your jacket and stare at it in your hand.

Then something happens.

Your stomach drops.

There in your hand, the necklace begins to unravel into several pieces.

The red stone is the only thing still in tact, but in it is a message you hadn’t seen before.

Nice try.

Bucky

It’s been the hardest month of Bucky’s life since he’s been back.

He left Wakanda the day after the funeral.

He had decided that Brooklyn would be the best option for him.

His first home.

He still hung out with Sam and Wanda, and on occasion he kept contact with Yelena.

Him and Sam were the closest, though. They went on rogue missions together for the government and did their part when needed.

Every now and then, Peter Parker would stop by and say hello. It’s not like Queens was far. A whole different world, for sure, but he was practically a neighbor. Peter was like the little brother Bucky never had. It took him a second to warm up to Bucky, though.

Nobody would ever get closer to him as much as Steve or Sam ever did.

Getting used to life again after Asa was terrible.

Bucky even had to clean his internet history to make it.

They had googled places for puppy adoptions and vacation spots just the days before her death.

Bucky wouldn’t think about puppies for a long time now. Nor any vacations.

He just wanted to be alone.

The scarce missions with Sam helped some to distract him, but he’d still come home tired and depressed.

Everyday he’d try to contact Shuri or Ayo to find out any status of the mystery person from the chamber. When every-time he’d hear the same thing “nothing yet”, he’d do his own research, and also ask Sam for help.

One day, the answer was different.

“Hey, Buck. We’ve got a possible lead.”

He felt several emotions.

Excitement, fear, and anger.

For some reason, the confirmation of an actual killer reminded him that this wasn’t some nightmare he was just dreaming.

This was real.

Bucky had never sped so fast on his motorcycle before. Running a few red lights and nearly getting hit by a suv was the least of his concerns right now.

When he arrives to where the mission meetings have been held lately, Fury is already sitting there with Sam to his right.

“The Orifice Necklace,” Fury starts, a photo of it is on the screen behind him. Bucky eyes it like it’s the most disgusting thing he’s ever laid his eyes on. What was so special about this piece of shit necklace? “It’s a supernatural stone that releases some kind of healing power. Wakanda has known about it longer because of security reasons. They don’t want this in the wrong hands,” Bucky still doesn't understand the hype, but he understands it’s danger now in the wrong hands. Whoever it was that killed Asa really wanted it for some self gain, “Under certain circumstances, they’ve decided to ask us for help. The orifice necklace that was at the chamber in Mexico was a fake. The real one was taken we suspect maybe months before. We actually think it’s in the position of some undercover agent in Sword, which makes this tricky. Reasons for suspicions aren't disclosed other than sword members reporting strange incidents since a few months ago.” Fury says.

Bucky scoffs

“I know, Barnes, this isn’t easy for you—”.

“What?” Bucky practically laughs out the word, “you think going after the person who killed Asa is hard for me?”

“You aren’t to kill that target. That person doesn’t even have it. Their death is no use to us. Bring them in alive and alive only.”

“Are you going to tell me where?” Bucky asks.

“You sure Bucky is the right person for this? He’s too close to this case.” Sam says.

“You’ll both go together.” Fury answers. He turns back to Bucky, “There will be a gala in Venice next weekend. We suspect that the person who knows who has the real necklace, the person from the chamber, will also be at this event,” Fury doesn’t lose eye contact with Bucky when he says the next part very slowly; “We suspect them to be Hydra affiliated.”

Bucky’s jaw clenched and his nose flares.

“I expect no less from an inhumane group of people.” He’d say worst, and he wants to, but he’s feeling emotional again. He quickly rubs his nose over the back of his hand and moves up closer to Fury, clearing his throat, “Name?”

“We only have one name that came up in suspicion, based off an experiment that was done ten years ago. It was in a file we found during one of our hydra facility raids. Experiment Orifice. The subject’s name is Hayden,” Bucky takes in a deep breath as he hears the name for the first time.

“Any distinctive features to watch out for?”

“A scar on their left arm. Starting from the palm to the elbow. That’s all we know.”

“Bucky. You’re really sure you want to be the one to do this?” Sam asks, unsure about this whole thing.

“Who else are we gonna call, Sam? Wanda’s lost her shit. Peter’s a bartender now. Who the fuck knows where thor is. We have no options anymore. Even Maria is dead,” Bucky stands up, “We’ll go.”

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