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impossible-rat-babies · 7 months

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oc-tober day 18–io laithe (she/her) for @coldshrugs

#back at it again CORRECTLY this time #myart #ffxiv #oc tober 2023 #I hope you like her azia ahhhhhh

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blueskittlesart · 6 months

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if it's any help, looking up "[laptop model] teardown" & even just taking the bottom cover can really help you get used to what it's like inside (plus in my experience unplugging and replugging things & compressed air fix sooo many problems)

see the problem here is that fucking with the software is just me having like a fun silly hacker time like an extra in a cyberpunk movie but fucking with the hardware is like brain surgery. i dont want her entrails exposed on my desk im not qualified for that

#at this point ive brought her back from the brink of death so many times irt software that i know i can't kill her in any way that matters #but with hardware like. well you scratched something important and now she will never run correctly again. throw the whole machine away #asks

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lale-txt · 4 months

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from edging on a panic attack throughout the train ride to standing front row during a concert of one of my fav bands within two hours wahooo

#it was only for 1-2 songs before retreating to the back again but still #the last time i stood there was almost 15 years ago #i don't talk a lot about my issues™️ here but tonight i felt really proud of myself #and i want to celebrate those small moments more instead of brushing them off #this achievement was unlocked by going to therapy 3x a week since almost a year #so it's not like i magically cured my panic disorder by breathing correctly and naming 5 things i can see 4 things i can yada yada #it's such hard work and i'm still at the very beginning of everything but damn it feels so nice to FEEL things getting better #tiny tiny things but step by step #it can get better it can get better it can get better #lale.txt

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hiddencarpet · 1 year

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january 2023 — april 2018

Redraw time!!

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shirogane-oushirou · 3 months

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[us healthcare bureaucracy vent, with a selfship slant fhfddh]

perk of having ren as a boyfriend: dealing w insurance would be almost as opaque to him as it is to me, but he could at least say,

"wait, so your pcp sent the right [insert specialty here] location to them, but it's 1) the wrong doctor, 2) for a procedure instead of a consultation, 3) sent as an authorization and not a referral? don't bother spending all afternoon calling all of these specialty doctors, just message your pcp and ask them to fix it. no, you aren't stupid or paranoid, they fucked it up in almost every way imaginable. yeah you sent them all the correct info on their portal for easy reference, you didn't forget to do that. you're gucci."

#📌 [ my posts. ]#vent -#ourghhhhhh she literally made a referral 100% correctly within 2 days of the request. like. last week.#but these others that i asked for at the SAME TIME? helloooooOOO??#she's also been my referring doc for years and this hasnt happened before so idk what's up. ugh.#i'll be fine -- the important appt this week is fine -- it's just like. mkay. us healthcare strikes again 💕#venting done back to v!ren tagging dghfddf i'm getting so close to done...#✏️ [ my scenarios. ]

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enbyshads · 1 year

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i was so happy about team dark coming back but then they get separated again :(((

#i was so happy about team dark coming back but then they get separated again:((((#if i remember correctly this is the second time something happens to both of them #and rouge is the only one that got out of the situation without getting hurt #but also shes worried about them!!! even tho she knows they're strong but aaaah #sonic idw spoilers #rouge the bat #sonic idw

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pomellon · 10 months

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Yeah Dead Space hyper fixation is really going brrr and I be think of aus

#pom talks #I'm either thinking something with Dream Sap George Punz Karl and Foosh #with half of them being on the crew of the Ishimura and the others being part of the crew that responds to the distress call #OR #dnn with Dream being crew and Sap and George responding to the call in hopes of seeing their bf #And then add Punz Foosh and Karl joining the 2nd game setting #Also if I remember correctly none of these guys are good with horror?#they're all getting traumatized uvu #potential aus #anyways this is a super old hyper fixation of mine so I've been really happy digging back into the lore :D #original game came out when I was 14-15 like jfc that's half my life time ago #and the remake is so so good like hands down the best game remake I've seen #and it's traumatizing me all over again <3

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ziracona · 2 years

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Genuinely Futurama had the most beautiful ending to any show I can remember. The impossible sentiment of “Wanna go around again?” “I do.” Followed immediately by the first episode airing after the finale? I’m crying right now typing this.

#it was the sentiment that it didn’t matter that they’d won. they did. they got married and they loved and they spent an entire beautiful #lifetime together. they won. but they didn’t even hesitate. knowing they might not marry this time. that it might end differently. that they #might not have as much of a ‘successful’ or got what they wanted ending. at the chance to go back and lose all those memories. to spend #another lifetime together: any lifetime? I can’t capture the sentiment in words but it’s so intense it’s painful. it was never about the #result or the success when all of human life always is even in its kindest ways. it wasn’t even about ending up together in the way that #term means. it was ending up together in a lifetime at all. it was just going around again. it was the love of any lifetime spent together.#so much they weren’t afraid of losing their memories for another life. because any life together was a second life together and it was going #to be perfect. and the unspeakable love of the pilot airing immediately after the finale? I’m literally crying right now.#futurama #futurama spoilers #that was love #in a way nothing ever correctly captures it

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fantasythetrashywriter · 2 months

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Oh god, I think I overdid it. I just realized how long my document is, and now I’m getting concerned. Not like I wasn’t before, but…I don’t know, I just hope I’m not overdoing anything here. Maybe I’m overemphasizing certain scenes…but I can’t just remove them. I don’t even know why I’m making such a huge deal out of this…

This is…crazy. This is so crazy and I’m getting more and more uncertain about this…

UGH, this feels so weird. I like to think I’m close to finishing this, but then how in the FREAKING world am I suppose to end this?? I’m probably overthinking this too but I just don’t know how to end this…

The uncertainty is killing me…

#Fantasy talks #Rant post #This is so freaking crazy like…I’m not even sure if I’m doing this correctly or if I’m writing this properly #I haven’t felt THIS anxious over a work of mine EVER #And I don’t even know why…#Part of me doesn’t understand why I’m even making this such a huge deal but then again…it’s just a big deal for me #Honestly I’m THIS close to tearing my hair out wondering if I’m doing this right or wrong #AND IT IS FRUSTRATING #I wish I could stop worrying but then those thoughts keeps irritating me #I WON’T stop writing this because I WANT to finish it but I won’t deny this is so hard to write #And I realized that the longer my works are the more UNCERTAINTY comes from it #Not that I’ll try shortening it - cutting out certain parts is just a huge no no for me #If I cut any scenes out if just feels like a waste of time #I just don’t understand why I feel this way! It’s just…UGH I DON’T EVEN KNOW!#Whatever. I’ll calm down soon enough and maybe I’ll even delete this #(And then the uncertainty comes back…)

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skeletalheartattack · 11 months

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randomly saw a post of yours on my dash and came to say i rly like your url. then i saw boe and went :D and now i must say i rly like boe too :]

wah!!! wahhh!!!!! thank you!!!!! 🌺🌹🍀🌸

also i'm always short on words whenever it comes to answering asks like these, but it always makes me smile seeing folks liking Boe. makes me :) <- that. but seriously thank you for liking my bloag name too :) i like it myself too.

also take a look at Boe's dog okay? okay? his name is Budd okay? this guy

#ask #ackee #boe #boe tai marrow #budd #my characters #my art #i wanted to draw Budd again since i havent done so in a long time... so i did >:]#also podey bogg is just my personal bastardization of ''puppy dog''#i dont know if i want to refer to Budd's species as such. he's just a hell pooch. animal of hell.#he eats trash btw. Budd. not Boe.#Boe probably eats normal things id imagine. whatever limbo's supermarket has. if limbo has one.#also Budd's full name is technically Buddy. but Boe always calls him Budd.#in terms of his size. i imagine him to be the size of a cinderblock. or bigger. basically Boe can pick him up but i think hes a bit weighty #he's also just got one tooth. the opposite of how Boe's missing just one tooth #also i think Budds design is fun in how he's simplistic and easy to draw. whereas Boe is a lot more complex.#i love juxtaposition i think. and themes. its fun i think.#he's also red! you can find more art of him in the budd tag if youd like to see more :) if that feature works correctly still.#you know how tumblrs being recently. agh.#his design became more finalized after i recieved some fanart of him a long while back.... i gotta reblog that again.#anyway :) thank you for enjoying my skeleton and blog name. it does mean a lot despite my small vocabulary :)

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nasturtiumsforbreakfast · 5 months

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spending this evening wondering about the changes once I'm on T, apparently - puzzling at how facial hair will grow in, mostly

#i'm getting very impatient now #i was signed off by one doc to start last month - but then obvs all the doctors have to sign off #and then they send me an email form to sign that i send back #and then they send that signed form to my gp #but they actually sent a blank one! so i had to go to my gp to sign it in person!#and then they sent it to the clinic - and then now we're waiting for the clinic to send all the stuff back to my gp again #(hopefully fucking correctly this time)#and then once that's done (maaaybe next week) eventually they'll give me a prescription #and then i have to find a pharmacy that'll fill it for me #augh #i have been waiting for over 5 years!! please! for the love of god

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713-4th-ward-g · 6 months

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.

#now my aunt is in remission...#a lot is happening and i feel the loneliest I've felt since high school #I've only been getting worse since my family denied what i went through and sat there and told me i wasn't probably remembering it correctly #i know what it was like growing up even if it comes back to me in spurts..#but they really have started to make me doubt myself and its the worse cause they never apologized for the neglect and abuse #and they all took their side and acted like i was mistaken and said “ i never saw it happened do it didn't happen #and now i dont even talk to the only two friends i had cause i dont feel the same #if i don't text them first they never ever message me first or even check on me #and im always the one being there for them and listening to them and im just tired lf it all #i dont want a future anymore and im slowly losing my grip ive held on do tight even at my loneliest and now i feel like im losing #i was never anyone's best friend and everyone of the people ive called friends were always closer to someone else #ive only always had myself but im losing hope for the future and i just feel so extremely empty again #i just want to end this feeling and the weed isnt working anymore and working out doesnt work... i need God ive been so far away from him..#Im just slowly losing it more and more im tired of being the friend everyone goes to for advice and laughs or enjoyment #im tired of it so much #the only time i feel joy is the bliss i feel when i sleep and even that joy is never truly felt cause i constantly fight my sleep #i only sleep when my body forced it self to cause i can't naturally just go to sleep st s set time anymore..#im so tired of being people's escape or advice person I'm probably only saying this for the overwhelming feeling #of being a colossal failure and disappointment even so i still try snd try and fail some more #why don't i quit I just dont know why its just something in me that has some glimmer of self hope ive only tried to kms once and failed #maybe ima bit glad i failed but apart of me laughs cause i even failed at kms and find it ironic cause i fail at so many things #im so incapable of salvaging some semblance of normality or consistency #Mr.inconsistent that i am and have been but i refuse to let myself end that way i have to fight for something even in this haze of mine..#i just want to be better why cant i get better and stay good.. maybe it hurts more than i let on finally speaking of what happened #and for them to deny it may have really affected me a lot snd i am just now seeing it manifest it self now ...#i just gotta live with it and just TRY to do better every single day snd in every single situation snd action i take...

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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

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Me: well I don't have any counting compulsions

Also me: (anytime I have to count anything) *recounts it at least 3 times because I think I counted it right... probably. but now I'm not sure and I have to check*

#i dont think i considered this might not be normal until just now #this might actually be why physically sitting down to fill out a math sheet is torture to my soul #but i also know math just fine. its just the anxiety about counting things wrong #its worse when theres physical things involved though like when im cooking because im convinced #that im gonna majorly fuck up #idk if this is normal or not but i straight up count to 5. normally and correctly. and then suspevt i was wrong #and have to redo it again and again until i get so frustrated that i have to convince myself whatever it fucks up cant be that bad #i think it would be a big problem if i was counting something important or anything at a higher number though #but thankfully the most important thing i count is cups of rice that go into my rice cooker lol #also still doubting wether i have ocd or not but goddamn. the word 'probably' has single handedly impacted my brain chemistry forever #i think... probably :')#god forbid i be sure of anything ever #lmao oof i just remembered some things. time for a small tags trauma rant i guess #so I remember never being sure of anything ever as a kid. for some reason i was so anxious and unsure #that the only thing i thought i knew to be true for sure was my faith in my religion #lol needless to say... i deconverted at 16-17 #now idk for real man. i was wrong about the only thing i was certain of #not sure how to recover from that #obviously im never going back to that religion. it was so incredibly harmful idk if i could even put it into words #but at the same time... im not sure why i doubt everything #or more accurately im not sure how everyone else DOESN'T #how can they be so self assured? how can they know anything? how are they #how is anyone so sure of something that theyre just at peace with never thinking about it or doubting it or questioning it #ive never had that i dont think

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goldensunset · 1 year

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> did the thing i’ve been procrastinating for a year and a half

#AUGH.#turns out those questions were ridiculously easy #literally german one material #but again my problem is less that i don’t know the language and more that ‘dawg i don’t remember a specific good day from my childhood???’#i remember specific bad memories and i remember general good vibes #but human memory doesn’t really jot down positive things of note #at least not in my experience #ok i lied i am a bit lacking in vocabulary too. thank you leo.org #i just didn’t trust myself to pronounce certain words correctly tho LOLLLL #also uuuuuhhh. ‘limit each response to 2 minutes’ bud the entire comprehensive audio file was just under two minutes 🤡#i said what i said ok. hope that’s enough #i said what i had enough time to think of on the fly #45 minutes is not that long #<- finished 11 minutes early bc aaaah panic no time!!!#whatever. let’s see if my responses were good enough to qualify me for a higher german class #(registration opens tomorrow and this will NOT have been graded by then. ah well)#i register very early for my grade so hopefully i can just leave a class out and come back to it later once i get my results #who knows maybe if i do pass this test i might test out of having to take a language class at all #allegedly #i am. not as good at speaking as i used to be #but i’m also not as bad as i thought i’d be #peach rambles

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soul-of-rei · 8 months

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i honestly dont like what totk has done to me in the sense that i cant go back to playing mostly botw bc ill miss on the gameplay that i absolutely loved in totk but i want to for the story . but i cant play totk anymore either bc i really just didnt like the story BUT the gameplay-

#rei rambles #at least in botw ill have my remote bombs back AJSJSJAJAJ but the froggy suit . the dragon outfits 🥹#and even tho i didnt like the overall story in totk i have to admit they absolutely nailed some parts #LIKE id rather do the wind temple over again than vah medoh #and the buildup to some dungeons w the character development of each sage . ok thats some good shit #edit: midnight brain but when i sayi dont like the overall story i mainly mean the execution #LIKE the actual story in totk's memories would be fine w me IF they did it correctly . which wasnt the case #the only part where i actually dislike the plot itself is towards the end concerning links arm and how zelda is found bc . hmm #i think i can do better . and ik i can do better than that #NAYWAYS im eepy but i need to shower good night yall <33 #totk spoilers #edit edit: im thinking it through again and i take it 1/2 back .even if the memories were exdcuted properly id still have some problems #mainly w how they give us so little reason and motive to get attached to the charas #but thats another post for another time JAJSJAJA

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 1 year

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have to frog approximately to the top of the second block, several thousand stitches, bc I can’t fuckin count

#this isn’t like oh i can carefully drop a stitch and rework it back up correctly #no my blocks are the wrong size bc again i cannot count #textile crimes #the color palette on the couch rn is. bad #this baby blanket will not be done in time for baby and im just sort of resigned to that

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