#bad hair days

[neil-gaiman]

hi neil, i hope your day was better than mine.

i got my hair cut today and i can't stop crying about it. it looks so bad. and it's right before school starts too. i'm not exaggerating when i say it looks like a 5 year old took scissors to my hair while i was sleeping. and it was done by a professional at a good salon! i don't know what happened but i'm devastated and maybe i'm just emotional/sentimental but i keep crying about it and i feel silly after because i know it's just HAIR.

anyways, you probably won't see this but i had to let someone know. and also, i think you would be proud of me because i have been in a reading slump for a year and last week i decided to do something about it. so i read coraline one day, ocean at the end of the lane the next, the graveyard book after, and lastly i took two days to read anansi boys. i'm planning on reading american gods next. the idea was to start off short and small and work my way up and i think it's working. thank you for your work and please never stop writing. and great job on season two by the way, it was beautiful.

please come to wisconsin soon so you're able to sign my good omens copy!

with love, ollie

Here. I will try to cheer you up with me in October 2016 as Hurricane Matthew is hitting Florida and I have just had a very strange haircut from the only barber who hadn't closed because of the incoming hurricane. The wind noise in the background is the start of the hurricane. The haircut was because I thought we'd lose power and I might have to fight zombies and shorter hair would help. To add insult to the haircut, it had a ducktail at the back.

The khaki jacket had lots of pockets and was hurricane gear too. (I slept in the bathtub that night. The howls of the wind got loud but I didn't lose power and I was fine.)

And it still wasn't as bad a haircut as the one I got when I was 16 when my dad took the hairdresser aside before the haircut and told him that whatever I asked for, what he was to do was cut it all off and give me a short back and sides. And he did. There are no photographs.

I hope this helps. I'm proud of you too.

[ivovynckier]

Expect the ugliest mug shot ever. That hair, the fading orange makeup...

[emberglowfox]

birds of a feather

[hyenaa-euphoria]

hope 1/???

more angst!! i am actually building an au around this comic but I’ve never done aus before so like this is new to me!!!

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

[red-pencil]

Ballister needs a pick-me-up this #AniMonday

[samipekoe]

who da hell is that

[ipostmysimpingstuffanonymously]

You can't tell me she wasn't the cool babysitter for at least some time

[milktea-grn]

hair gel things

[plulp]

SYDNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ivovynckier]

The man couldn't even tidy his hair for the queen's funeral...

[ovaryacted]

Guys…oh my god???? He looks so good I’m crying in two places rn…

I’ve been thinking about this picture for 3 days.

[gay-jesus-probably]

I like the general fandom trend to just take the plot of Hyrule Warriors as a loose guideline at best and just use the whole concept as a good excuse to get blorbos to interact across timelines, BUT I'm very disappointed that everyone is missing the comedic potential of a very specific squad of characters:

Young Link (aka Mask), who walks out of the nightmare of Majora's Mask and immediately gets portal kidnapped into a temporal war, takes one look at the whole mess and decides that you could not fucking pay him to admit to being the resident expert on Time Shenanigans. He introduces himself with the title of Hero of Termina, and definitely doesn't have any other ones, that would be crazy. Hero of Time? Never heard of him.

Tetra, who is a kickass pirate captain with zero patience for people trying to shove her into the Designated Princess role, and realizes immediately that Oh Fuck, this Hyrule has a lot of Ideas about how the Hero and the Princess are supposed to properly play their parts, the second they realize she's technically a Zelda they're gonna shove her in a goddamn dress and damsel her again, that's not happening. So she's definitely just a really cool pirate captain, nothing else going on here at all, definitely not the heir of the Hylian royal family in her time, that'd be crazy.

Ravio, who is literally just a palette swapped Link, meaning that the second his hood comes off, things are gonna get Awkward. There's no way in hell he's dealing with all that Hero baggage, that's Link work, so that giant bunny hood/mask is practically superglued to his head, and he's not taking it off for love or money.

Spirit Tracks Zelda, who is just in the Phantom Armour the whole time, and passing herself off as just a friendly ghost posessing a suit of armour to help the Hero of Spirits. Of course she isn't Princess Zelda, that's ridiculous, if she were a Zelda then people would start getting really weird about her technically being dead, and boy does that ever sound like a whole Thing she doesn't want to deal with, so she can't possibly be Zelda, she's just a nice ghost knight. Also, her teenage grandma is here, and that's kinda weird, so it's easier to just not admit to being royalty and avoid that awkward conversation.

Finally there's Sheik, who is not the Princess Zelda of the era straight up abandoning her war torn country for months at a time so she can risk her life in extreme cosplay for no clear reason, but is instead the actual Sheik from Ocarina of Time, who just beat Ganondorf like a month ago and is still trying to process what the fuck to do now. Also, he's been pretending to be a boy since he was ten, and is realizing there's a pretty good chance that he isn't pretending anymore, so that's a whole other can of worms. But for the last seven years of his life, being Princess Zelda meant certain death, so he's not really inclined to introduce himself like when in a new and stressful situation (not to mention he might actually just not be a girl named Zelda anymore), so he automatically introduces himself as just Sheik the spooky ninja man, and fuck he's in too deep to back out now, looks like he's committing to the bit. If you think you sense the Triforce of Wisdom on him, no you don't.

Cue shenanigans as the five of them attempt to hide that they're all actually kind of A Big Deal. The group motto is "Nobody says shit", which is usually delivered as a frantic hiss whenever someone slips up. Just the reunion between Sheik and Mask alone would be absolutely buckwild given how they parted, and how they're both frantically pretending to Not be involved with each other. For added hilarity and/or drama, Sheik gives his semi-bullshit cover story of having just been a friend of the Hero of Time, then runs into said Hero of Time and they both have to desperately pretend not to know each other, because if anyone picks up on the mountain of baggage between them then Mask is busted, and he won't hesitate to drag Sheik down with him out of sheer spite. Not to mention the weird balance of Sheik being used to this Link being a teenager that's actually a small child, and now has to adjust to Link who is a small child that's actually a teenager.

Also, i really feel like we're all missing out on the comedy potential of Ganondorf recognizing Young Link on sight and the two of them immediately launching into a grudge match with some extremely personal and specific insults on both sides. Meanwhile literally everybody else is just standing there watching, trying to process the fact that out of every single person that's been pulled out of time, Ganondorf only has personal beef with a literal nine year old.

I just feel like we're all really sleeping on the potential for Shenanigans here. The whole thing is an absurd mess, why not have some fun with it?

[sstarmoon]

Remus is hairy. He's a werewolf, what did you expect?

[sluggoonthestreet]

Sasha is having a bad tail day.

[theriizeclan]

NETFLIX & CHILL

pairing: park wonbin x fem!reader

warnings: smut, oral (m receiving), cursing, needy wonbin, spit, cum eating, wonbin calling you mommy like 2x

[If you're wondering about the format it's because it was supposed to be just thoughts only but then I got carried away lol]

chilling with wonbin 90% of the time ends up with you choking on his cock.

the atmosphere is relaxing with heavy sexual tension in the air. it's past afternoon when you're both huddled on his bed binging your favorite shows on his laptop. you're leaning against him, arms around his torso while his is thrown over your shoulder holding you close to him. the only sounds in the room radiating from the laptop and the air conditioner.

wonbin isn't really paying attention to whatever is happening in the show, letting his thoughts wander.

he can't help but think of two days prior when you insisted on giving him head in the green room, taking full control. he never spoke that out loud but he finds it such a turn on whenever you take the lead.

you had stuffed his favorite pair of your lacy red panties in his mouth forcing him to be quiet in the admits of a photoshoot set for the new comeback. you've been quite vocal about how sexy you found his new hair colour but he didn't think you would go this wild for it, dropping to your knees to suck him off where you could be caught at any moment.

he turns to you for a swift look, observing your lip gloss tainted lips. he also can't help but take a glance at your exposed cleavage. you feel him being fidgety and throw him a questioning look which he shrugs off.

it would be hard to hide the boner from you with you being so close.

he doesn't wanna ruin the quietude but he's also horny and wants your mouth on him. wonbin is usually good at getting what he wants but he felt stuck in place at the moment not knowing how to approach you with his “little” problem.

fortunately you notice what's happening and start to trail your fingers under his shirt, grazing your nails above his beltline.

“feeling needy babyboy?”

the nickname leaves him straining harder against his pants and he only nods bashfully. you take the laptop from his lap placing it on the bedside table before dictating your attention fully to him. he's sat against the headboard running hot as you tap against the side of his hip. his cock jumps out when you pull his pants down to his thigh.

“what do you want baby? talk to me” you whisper against the crock of his neck, leaving feather kisses below the jawline.

“need your mouth, please.” he whimpers, eyes pleading you to take action as soon as possible.

your hands wraps around his pulsing cock, beginning to play with the slick on his reddened tip.

wonbin had a pretty cock with prominent veins reaching to the tip which shared the same shade as his lips. he kept the hair trimmed, sometimes going for a full shave.

he gnawed on the bottom of his lip watching your actions. his cock twitches in anticipation when you lean down puckering your lips to let a blob of spit fall on it. you pumped him a few times before finally taking him in your mouth. wonbin let out a needy moan fisting the sheets underneath him for support.

“oh- my god” his hips thrusted upwards choking you up for a second. you slap his thigh, giving him a warning glare.

spit collects at the corner of your mouth dribbling down to the valley of your chest. the filthy wet sounds are the only noise in the room paired with wonbins desperate whimpers.

his head falls back, eyes rolling to the back of his head when your pace quickens. you force yourself down to take him whole choking on the process.

you take him out of your mouth for a fresh breath of air before taking him right back in, running your wet muscle around the tip.

“so good to me, you're so good to me” wonbin continues to babble lost in trance.

with your other hand you decide to give his balls some attention kneading them in your hand. wonbins hips jerk forward with no intention but you slow down your actions, receiving a whiny complaint from him. your sloppy pace only irritates him further.

“s’close… please mommy.”

“need to come into your mouth” he gasps when he feels your teeth graze slightly along his girth. his body shudders at the sensation.

“be a good boy and don't hold back bin.”

“yes mommy.” he mumbles. he tilts his head, viewing you intently immersed in your action. he feels the air in his throat get stuck when your pace begins to fasten again. his jaw falls slack, the hand on your head gripping at the strands. the noises fall out of him naturally not being able to hold himself back anymore. his thighs jolt when he senses your nails digging into his skin. you bob your head faster, swallowing more cum with each stroke.

“i-im gonna cum - fuck i'm coming.” his head fall back and he lets out a high pitched moan echoing throughout the entire dorm.

you don't manage to catch all of his seed, letting the warm sticky substance run down his cock. you swipe a finger at it bringing it to his lips which he accepts instantly swirling his tongue around your finger, tasting his own release. he hums around your finger before you take it to replace it with your own lips.

wonbin moans again your mouth letting your tongue inside, your tongues gliding against one another.

“I love you.”he pants out of breath.

“I love you too bunny.”