#banana's year in review

[spikybanana]

23 for 2023

is this inspired by that wip game? ye. unexpectedly finding myself sympathising with the end-of-year spirits, I thought it's a fun idea to list all the wips I've got now— active wips, dormant wips, everything that has a slither of hope of becoming something, and see what becomes of them by this time next year (if I'm still around ha— hopefully though!)

Once Upon a Green Haze (my baby, my love, she's killing me every day and I love her for it)

the jegulus + marylily to jily canon-compliant angst saga

mary & remus hook up during lost years.

Nightmare or R's descent to madness

hope lupin biography

soulmates tropes but it's the black brothers

boho days

everyone's got a story (like this)

fuck that movie honestly

godelian riddle

happy birthday Remus (this has been sitting there since 2020 :))

jegulily summer + accidental moonseeker lol

the sad ace/qpr one

twoset ripoff

we're clueless but so fine

What You Will

Waltz No.19

Olivia

fever dream. tom x cleaning lady

ice hockey player marlene x figure skater dorcas

the cursed cursed smut ai

epistolary big sister tonks

somewhere @ west side story @ dorlene

okay wow,, average two a month right? let's fucking go.

I'm not gonna tag anyone but if mutuals or anyone who sees this wanna do something similar I'd love to see yall's stuff!!!

[thelailasblog]

[kenobster]

Absolutely delighted to see this in my notes bc same. 😌 He's so chokeable (said lovingly).

[Post in question]

HE SURE IS! And his lips are so big and pink like that too ughhhhh <3 I might try to draw a Palpakin fanart with that as a reference at some point because AHHHH 👀 Thank you for blessing my dash 😍

[roseband]

a short list of how the rose are trying to nuke their idol image from orbit:

banana boys

the tour bus question (2 beds, 4 grown ass men)

smoking (sammy)

vaping and talking about wanting unlimited vape fluid (hajoon)

living off of sour candies (looking at you sammy =_=)

one of them wearing a fucking ring on his ring finger during backstage meet and greets (seen by 3 fans now, will not mention which member)

uploading a vid of dojoon yelling at a roadie (but like... guys sound has to work)

every single time ws flips everyone off

[theresthesnitch]

I posted 4,523 times in 2022

That's 1,574 more posts than 2021!

1,544 posts created (34%)

2,979 posts reblogged (66%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@theresthesnitch

@elder-millennial-trash

@squintclover

@impishtubist

@krethes

I tagged 3,356 of my posts in 2022

Only 26% of my posts had no tags

#snitch answers asks - 1,033 posts

#wolfstar - 473 posts

#snitchwrites - 323 posts

#remus lupin - 239 posts

#sirius black - 229 posts

#ignite - 219 posts

#jily - 213 posts

#fic rec - 168 posts

#james potter - 159 posts

#shameless reblog - 144 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#james potter is the kind of boy who brings you a box of banana muffin mix because he remebers that one time you gave him a bite of one

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

(a little something for Sirius and Harry Saturday that I decided was too long for @impishtubist's askbox...)

When Sirius moved in with the Potters, things were not just suddenly okay. Sirius acted out a lot. Testing boundaries, sure, but he also thought that they would eventually kick him out too, because if even his parents didn't love him enough to keep him, then why would the Potters?

Only, Euphemia and Fleamont were not Walburga and Orion. They responded to each outburst with kindness and love. They set reasonable boundaries and had reasonable expectations. Every time Sirius did something else to break those boundaries and force them to finally punish him, Euphemia would look at him and say, "I love you, but I don't love the way you are acting right now."

One night, Sirius came home, hours after abandoning James in some muggle neighborhood, drunk and high. Euphemia stayed with him until he sobered up, even though he slept through most of it.

When he woke up, she was sitting in a chair next to his bed, knitting. She saw he was awake, and proceeded to tell him that she loved him, unconditionally, and that she was worried about him. She promised to always be there for him, even when he scared her the way he did the night before.

Sirius had never had anyone worry for him before. He hadn't thought that what he was doing would scare her. He never again disappeared like that, or came back quite that out of it.

(She knit a sweater that night, which Sirius wore nearly constantly until he wore it to rags. She knit him another to replace it.)

When Harry came to live with Sirius and Remus after POA, he was overly well behaved at the beginning. Sirius and Remus had to convince him that he didn't have to wake up early to make them breakfast, he didn't have to sweep and mop and wipe down the counters and the toilets every night, and he did not have to stay out of the way so he was neither seen nor heard. It took a while, and the sacrifice of every single piece of the Black Family fine china launched at the hideous Black Family Tree tapestry, but they finally convinced Harry that it was alright to be a teenager.

With the new freedom, Harry rebelled.

It was small things, at first. Testing boundaries. When he found lines to cross, he did, and Sirius watched as Harry braced for whatever punishment he had been conditioned to expect. It never came, and every time, when Harry relaxed again, Sirius watched the confusion and awe on his face, and wondered whether Euphemia saw the same mix of emotions on his own face.

Remus didn't get it–why Harry lashed out at them. He couldn't get it; not really. His parents weren't perfect, but they loved him.

Sirius got it, though. He understood the absolute disbelief that someone could love you as you were, unconditionally. So every time Harry yelled at them, or broke something, or slammed his door so hard that the entire house groaned under it, Sirius thought of Euphemia and her kind smile and her kinder words.

I love you, but I don't love how you're acting right now.

392 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

#4

Imagine Professor Remus J. Lupin showing up to Hogwarts the first week of September 1993, and all the professors are going on about the Chamber of Secrets. Professor Lupin assures them that the chamber does not exist because TRUST HIM they would have found it (with a wink and a smirk to the professors who knew him back then).

Professor McGonagall sits him down one evening with a cup of tea spiked with a little fire whiskey, and proceeds to absolutely blow Remus's mind about the way that little Harry Potter beat all of the Marauder's accomplishments by the end of his second year.

419 notes - Posted July 15, 2022

#3

Wolfstar raising Harry snippet

This is from the fic that I'm writing (sloooooowly) in order to make @impishtubist cry. This is from the first night with Harry living with Sirius.

“Keep calling me old, Remus, and I’ll tell him about how you started getting grey hairs at 15.” Sirius tried to make his voice sound threatening, but he was just too content with the two of them to pull it off.

Remus rolled his eyes and waived his wand to send the dishes to the sink. “I’m a werewolf. We age prematurely due to–” 

“–due to your condition, yes, I know your excuses.” Sirius finished for him. 

Remus raised an eyebrow. “I was going to say due to the fact that I had to deal with you and James.” 

“Oh Merlin,” Harry said as he stood up and moved to the sink. “With both of those, I’m surprised you have any brown hair left.” 

Remus and Sirius both laughed, caught a bit off guard by how much the joke sounded like James. The laughter died off when Harry started filling the sink with water. 

“Haz, what are you doing?” Sirius asked. 

Harry didn’t even look over his shoulder. Instead, his head was under the sink, digging for something. “The dishes. Where’s the soap?”

“I don’t have any, and you don’t need to do the dishes.” 

Harry turned around, brow furrowed. “You don’t have soap? How do you get the dishes clean?”

Remus raised his wand and pointed it at the sink. Immediately it filled with sudzy water, and the dishes began scrubbing themselves. “Did you forget we were wizards, Harry?”

Harry looked dumbly at the sink before moving back to the table. “I guess I didn’t think of it. I’ve always done them by hand.” 

“Your mum did that too, I remember.” Sirius said. “Said she never liked the way the charm got them clean.” 

“Do you remember when James cleaned them with the charm without telling her, and she made him pull them all back out of the cabinets to redo it?” Remus laughed. 

“She was so mad.” Sirius leaned back laughing. “He knew she didn’t like it, but didn’t think she could actually tell the difference, and he wanted to go out to play pick-up quidditch”

“She got mad at him for how he cleaned the dishes?” Harry looked confused. 

“Not like mad, mad.” Remus said. “She helped him redo them, and in the end, I think they ended up–” Remus cut off short, eyes going wide as he looked at Sirius.

Harry looked between them. “Ended up what?” 

Sirius smirked. “Dancing. In the kitchen together.” 

Harry smiled, leaning on his hand. “That’s sweet.” Remus snorted, but he managed to hide it behind a cough.

“They were always like that.” Sirius smiled fondly at the memory of them. “They would bicker and banter, and then suddenly they’d be so wrapped up in each other that you couldn’t tell where one stopped and the other started.”

445 notes - Posted July 21, 2022

#2

Okay, but now I'm picturing a gossipy Voldemort keeping up to date on all the goings ons.

"He married the mudblood? Absolute waste of a pureblood. He was good looking too. Could have had any pureblood girl he wanted, probably. No, not your wife Lucius, but he's very good looking, you can't deny that."

"I can't believe they're together. Shacking up with a half-blood, half-breed. My, how the House of Black has fallen. Orion, how shameful for you."

"Molly Weasley is pregnant again? Didn't she just have twins? Are they trying to get enough kids to have a quidditch team or something? How funny would it be if the next one is a girl? Yes, Bella, I know that girls can play quidditch too, but not well."

"Did you see the robes that Dumbledore was wearing on that last raid? Magenta is not your color, Alby. Someone should really tell him."

670 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I have a *thing* for Wolfstar fics when Remus thinks Sirius isn't going to stick with him because he's not good enough for Sirius, then it flips to Sirius's POV and he's tripping over his own feet because he's just so into Remus he can't think straight.

1,073 notes - Posted March 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[chaoslynx]

we didn't make the tumblr anime year in review list </3

[andyetnobananas]

I posted 946 times in 2022

That's 908 more posts than 2021!

64 posts created (7%)

882 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@eternal-savvy-blog

@sevenpilotfish

@redbuddi

@chongoblog

@jelloapocalypse

I tagged 76 of my posts in 2022

#bananas art - 34 posts

#bananas talks - 14 posts

#friend art - 10 posts

#youtube - 9 posts

#bananas vids - 8 posts

#epithet erased - 7 posts

#jelloapocalypse - 6 posts

#parasomnia oct - 5 posts

#original character tournament - 3 posts

#dnd oc - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 86 characters

#feel like reblogging my animatics from this year. with new people coming in i'd really

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

NEW VIDEO: Flour Bag MURDERS - JelloApocalypse Animatic

@jelloapocalypse @bigmovingtarget @eternal-savvy-blog

151 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

#4

Ok, so you know that whole "HBO Max killing off cartoons" thing that happened recently? So after some digging (and by that I mean watching this video from Shark3ozero) the situation is so much worse than that. Like... Monstrously worse.

In case you don't know, it's not just cartoons and their creators that have been f__ked over recently, but a WHOLE SWATH OF PoC CREATORS HAVE BEEN LAID OFF. Like, almost no non-whites left in executive positions.

Apparently, before the merger, Discovery has a more white, old, heteronormative demographic than HBO, and instead of trying to consolidate the 2 demographics, Discovery's CEO, David Zaslav, has been made into the CEO of both sides of the company, and is trying to turn one into the other. To this end, he has slashed the divisions overseeing kids, family and international content, and intends to create more content for "Middle America." So yes, they cut Infinity Train and Batgirl and others BECAUSE. THEY. ARE. DIVERSE. CONTENT. They are deliberately removing different cultures from their services because catering exclusively to white audiences is more profitable... According to them. I have serious doubts this is casting the net wider instead of narrower. (Also, another part of the shift is that they want to pivot back to cable content and away from streaming, which... Lol, good luck man. Warn-scover-CNBO might already be on a collision course, and fingers crossed that it is.)

OH, BUT IT GETS WORSE. APOCALYPTICLY WORSE.

HBO also owns CNN, and they have a new chairman in the shadow of the merger, Chris Licht. It's already canned one news show, 'Reliable Programming' a show frequently critiqued the republicans and fox news, and has warned that "more changes are coming soon."

Worst of all, John Malone, who is on WBD's board, and gave Zaslav his job in 2006, has explicitly said that he wants to CNN to have a "less liberal bias", and thinks that Fox News "makes actual journalism." Yes, Fox dominating a third of US cable news is not enough, he wants to make another 3rd of it propaganda programming.

Warn-scover-CNBO's market capitol were flushed down the tubes in light of all this horses__t, but in order to keep the a new propaganda apparatus of unfathomable scale from rising, it must stay down and never recover. Warn-scover-CNBO's changes scaring off huge droves of people is an objective good, and the complete collapse of the company is our only hope now.

Tl;dr: The death of Infinity Train and Uncle Grampa is the canary in the coal mine of a massive swath of pop culture and journalistic practice turning into a right-wing propaganda apparatus unlike anything seen before.

180 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

#3

NEW VIDEO: Ike get TROLLED: JelloApocalypse Animatic

@jelloapocalypse

200 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

#2

268 notes - Posted August 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Epithet Week Day 1: Prison of Plastic

333 notes - Posted June 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[mawaroon]

i wonder what lies at the end of the tunnel! i sure fucking hope it's a sizeable wage increase!!!

[todayontumblr]

Thursday April 13th.

ffs neil will you stop banging out those damn tunes. it's the morning, for pete's sake

We won't ask you again, Neil—we have work first thing tomorrow and it is a big day at the office: we are presenting a keynote pointpower slideshow for the big cheese over at HQ to increase optimum brand synergy across all departments ahead of this upcoming 5th annual quarter in review, and we are getting pretty sick and tired you and that f*cking keyboard playing Clair de Lune (badly) on what you have apparently decided to be your very own live IRL ten-hour loop from early evening through the night until the break of day, because you are a rat, and rats are, of course, nocturnal!! 

*

It all began on April 13th, 2006. Neil's alarm went off at around 7:30pm, just as the human world was winding down for the day. He sat on the edge of his bed, yawned, stttrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetcchhed, cracked his fingers, and got to work. He tucked his tail beneath him and took his place at his grand, multi-colored piano, and began to play. And my goodness did he play. As if possessed by the spirits of the maestros of old, Neil's claws flowed up and down the keys in a manner not dissimilar to the ebb and flow of the oceans themselves. No one could believe their ears on that day, almost 20 years ago: after so much early promise, so much self-destruction, torment, and pain, Neil finally accomplished what so many knew he could do if only he could find it in himself to achieve it: he began banging out the tunes.

Only this was something of a pandora's box. It is, as we saw, nearly 20 years later—and Neil continues to bang them out with a vengeance, regardless of whether we have to be up early for work in the morning.  

*

It is April 13th, 2009. Neil continues to play, enraptured by the majesty of the melody expressed by the delicate touch of claw on key in primary-colored plastic. As Neil reaches the end of the day's performance, a young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that this is the young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is, inexplicably, only today he will be given a name.

His name is John. As was previously mentioned it is his BIRTHDAY. A number of CAKES are scattered about his room. He has a variety of INTERESTS. He has a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES. He likes to program computers but he is NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. He has a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE, and is an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN. He also likes to play GAMES sometimes. 

As day dawns, Neil closes the fallboard upon the keys of his instrument for another year. John goes to retrieve his arms. And the rest, as they say, is history.

*

It's April 13th, folks. You know what that means: it's time for #homestuck and #neil banging out the tunes.  

Go bananas x

[mx-sinisters]

sin's year in review; 2023

read in 2023 ➤ banana fish (1985-1994)

[spikybanana]

WIPs of 2024 :D

why? so I can come back this time next year and giggle at the number of abandoned fics again, of course

Once Upon a Green Haze (always, always. I wonder how many years it'll take me)

Daybreak [in the same series as 3-6]

Heartburn

Requiem

Abyss

Three Dads, Two Moms, and One Aunt Who Won't Let Me Have a Blaster (Ever! Not even when I'm eighteen!)

obikin yuri on ice

any way the wind blows

space wolfstar

back to Scratch

desert in Birmingham

eternity and more

everyone's got a story (like this)

everything you wanted

if you want me (let me stay)

the sw gay triad epic

turn off the sun (there's no light, no shadow)

Bach in Black

what these arms can hold

from dusk to morrow

[waltz, untitled]

What You Will

and the UFOs:

boho days

don't catch me (because I never fell)

fever dream 2. pansy x cho

godelian riddle

happy birthday, Remus

the victorian one

(and a lot more that I doubt will be risen from the dead so)

[thelailasblog]

[fandom]

Top 22 of 2022

It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for, folks. Fifty-two weeks of cold hard data measuring original posts, likes, reblogs, and searches, weighted and ranked. And it all ultimately comes down to this: not only is Stranger Things the #1 topic on Tumblr over this last year of data, but fans posted so much about Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington that they also made the list of Top Things.

Meanwhile, season 2B of the beloved animated series The Owl House aired, along with the first episode of the final season, which turned out to be a rollercoaster of coming out joy and absolute heartbreak. Evergreen favorites Critical Role’s Bells Hells, a mix of familiar and new faces, have spent the year adventuring around Marquet. And we don’t talk about Bruno, no, no, no, but Encanto fans sure do. 

On the MCYT front, several new Minecraft SMP servers provided a ton of content for MCYT fans, treating them to new stories and character dynamics. This year was also marked by mourning as the community grieved the passing of one of their own—the popular streamer Technoblade. 

In other gaming news, Pokémon Legends: Arceus and Pokémon Scarlet and Violet have players catchin’ and battlin’ away. And over the past year, Deltarune players stocked up on bananas, while Genshin Impact players hoarded primogems to wish for their favorite banner characters. 

Back on the small screen, folks have had a lot of emotions about the very gay pirate show Our Flag Means Death and the (somewhat sapphic) League of Legends animated series Arcane. House of the Dragon took us back to Westeros and really leaned into “complicated family dynamics,” while “complicated shipping dynamics” was the theme for Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir. And between Battinson and Batman: Wayne Family Adventures, it was a big year for a character with some serious emotional issues.

Finally, aesthetic bloggers rejoice! Cottagecore and Dark Academia are both on here. Halloween was big, which makes sense because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Of course, this list wouldn’t be complete without BTS—some things don’t change. And to round us out, please remember to like, reblog, and thank our resident Artists on Tumblr, who continue to nourish us and our dashboards with their incredible creations. This is Tumblr’s Year In Review.

Stranger Things

The Owl House

Artists on Tumblr

Critical Role

Encanto

MCYT

Pokémon

Eddie Munson | Stranger Things

Our Flag Means Death

Deltarune

The Dream SMP Minecraft Server

Cottagecore

Star Wars

Arcane

Genshin Impact

House of the Dragon

Dark Academia

Batman | The DC Universe

Steve Harrington | Stranger Things

Halloween

BTS

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir

[weebsinstash]

Really like the idea of a yandere Vox who is so ride or die for his overconsumerist capitalist Musk-esque lifestyle UNTIL he sees it negatively affecting his darling and does a complete 180

like take that poly red string soulmate Vox x Reader x Alastor concept and, you've got Alastor KINDA warming up to technology and willing to watch TV and do other things with you but he's still not a fan of you being on your phone constantly and some of the video games and movies you consume. He's on the couch reading a paper and (affectionately) rolling his eyes as you and Vox take turns headshotting each other in a video game and hollering "hell yeah, suck my fucking dick!!"

Meanwhile Vox is just 200% chronically online and loving it until one day he asks you why you wear baggy clothes all the time and you're ever so casually replying "because my body is fucking icky, duh" and Vox has absolutely no idea what you're talking about until you break down on a tangent about it

I was watching a clip the other day where someone was pointing out that Marilyn Monroe was considered the 50s icon of beauty and there are plenty of photos with her with thick thighs or a visible belly pooch and, imagine Vox sitting there, the disbelieving 'are you joking?' smile falling off of his face as you just, go OFF, "why would I wear anything other than sweatpants? I have fucking CELLULITE VOX, I'll NEVER have leggings legs no matter how thin I am, and look at my hip dips, they're so fucking GROSS, and my butt isn't shaped right, I have banana rolls, and, do I have siren eyes or doe eyes?! Am I bunny cute or am I frog cute?! And look at how bad my facial balancing is! Ugh, where's my gua sha?! I'm so tired of being UGLY!!"

Later that week Alastor is looking up from his paper to see Vox just, slowly entering the room, sloooooowly shutting the door behind him, looking to his old friend, "so hey! Funny idea, stop me if you've heard this one before but, I was thinking we could uh, maybe take their phone away annnnnnnnnnd... not give it back?" and here's Alastor, "oh, funny story! So earlier today they asked me if I 'wouldn't like them anymore' if they got COSMETIC SURGERY, yeah, ON THEIR FACE BELIEVE IT OR NOT, so, naturally, I'm already one step ahead of you :)" as he just casually gestures to the smashed wifi router in the garbage can in the corner of the room

You just get home from work one day and Vox has his CRT head back on and you're told 'if you want to look something up online, you can use the desktop in the computer room, and only 3 hours of screen time' and it all but blasts you 15 years into the past 💀 no more nights where you're gaming for 5+ hours straight and ruining your sleep. No more skipping meals because you're hyperfocused and binge-watching an anime while also playing an idle game on your phone. No more Alastor and Vox finding out you're just smoking bowls for hours literally nonstop because you need some sort of extra stimulation while you doomscroll and watch 3 hour long roast reviews for shows you've never watched

Alastor catches you swiping through an app and you get a divisive video thrown in your face from some alpha dude bro podcast, "yeah, a real man knows how to protect his lady! She should be at home cooking and keeping the house clean, not running around like a tramp and doing dumb chick stuff! All women need to focus on is marriage and being good wives, you know, a TRADITIONAL relationship!" and Alastor is just, swiping that shit out of your hand, "he DOES have a bit of a point, repulsive as he is! I suppose I'll have to start looking at potential dwellings that can fit you, me, and, I SUPPOSE Vox too 🙄" and little do you know he's already got a cute little home in the 'burbs set up already. He's just... you know! Waiting for the right moment to let you and the annoying TV bastard know that you'll be moving! Maybe he'll just... wait until the day of! Nothing beats a fun surprise, right? ^^ he doesn't want either of you... trying to run away or anything after all haha!

[princesssmars]

a few ellie headcanons bc i like her c: sfw.

she is a backpack lesbian. always has a tiny backpack. they are always black or a dark green. will sometimes get a patterned one. maybe has bananas on it. wants to put stickers on basically all of them but won’t because she gets paranoid they’ll get ruined.

i can’t find the post and ong i don’t remember what type of snack girlie i said ellie was but yes. this bitch loves snacks. always snacking. had a four month long addiction to jello it was a little scary.

she can cook for herself! she can make a damn good burger. hates tomato’s because she’s a baby 👎🏽

feel like she likes the weirdest cereals ever…like bae why are you eating kit kat cereal

runs super cold and always has a blanket. lovesss those super thick fluffy blankets that make you wanna fall asleep immediately. begged joel for one of those full body blanket snuggie things and he kept forgetting so she bought a matching dinosaur set with jessie and she loves it.

despite running cold her bedroom fan has not turned off in thirty years.

loves trivia. likes to play are you smarter than a fifth grader because you are NOT gonna catch her fuckin lackin.

likes mixmatched socks. her dryer is always eating half of her pairs so she grows to like it.

calls things pretentious and overrated as a joke bc she is annoying. watching a popular movie? she hates it the author is trying too hard. if she has a letterboxd she is either giving the most in depth review you’ve ever seen or a five star rating with a “cool”.

super nervous at the start of relationship yo show affection but when she’s locked in she is always on you…cuddles all the time. if you’re getting up to do something she is gripping around your waist. it’s cute until you need to go to the bathroom and she is insistent on going with you. once when she was high she told you she’d get a second toilet so you could go together 🫤

playstation girl yawn. she was hyped for elden ring then got her ass beat and didn’t play for a month before randomly deciding to finish it in two weeks.

whoever said she loves spongebob first was right…binges regular show when high. loves breaking bad. will act like she doesn’t like romance shows but if you make her watch the first episode she hasssss to finish it she can’t help ittt… sorry not sorry i’m making her watch bridgerton.

secretly watches those family guy adhd tiktoks

has a habit of watching movies through tiktok

and those space tiktok’s… comparing the gravity of different planets, what’s it’s like to fall through jupiters atmosphere.

likes orcas… watches marine life documentaries and gets emotional.

would know ur birth chart. ever forget ur big three signs? she knows. kind of scary. weird talent. doesn’t believe in astronomy buts knows every basic fact about every sign?? 😭

has two instagrams. her main is for her art and to post pictures with her friends and you. second she posts anything. and i do mean anything. will go from an introspective into idk why hoodwinked is underrated to

loves green it’s literally her color. needs some green in her dorm/apartment. thinks about this ahead of time so when she’s in middle school she starts buying tiny plants to take care of. at the start they’d die in like a week but now she has a dozen and they’re all healthy <3

bunch of posters on her bedroom walls. hates bare walls.

likes to try new hobbies every so often! is lazy about working out but when she does she gets on the treadmill and doesn’t break a sweat no matter how fast. kind of scary.

likes to go on the most random dates. you’ll be sitting on the couch and she’ll show you some random restaurant she saw on like instagram and be like let’s go. right now.

likes when you touch her hair. rest her on top of you while watching a movie and run your fingers through her hair? she’s out like a light. if you want to try different styles on it at home she will let you. doesn’t care if she has stupid looking like stubs everywhere she’s like c:

jesse told her she had a fuck ass bob once and she almost hit him :c

such a bike girl omg. i know she used to put water bottles in the back to make it sound like a motorcycle.

who first came up with that she loves spongebob because you’re so right. tried to act like she’s grown out of it but when she’s high and you’re trying to go to bed she’ll whisper “twenty five” to herself and laugh for five minutes straight.

spider-man girl because she’s cool.

pretends to hate all the dumb nicknames you give her when she does stuff. she makes a pb&j? shes now 'ellie jellie' for the rest of the week. has a stomach ache? now she gets to hear 'ellie bellie' for a month.

links for palestine, sudan, drc

[bump1nthen1ght]

Made For Love (Incubus x GN!Reader)

Pairing: Sex worker!Incubus x GN!Reader

Warnings: Explicit content ahead! (18+ ONLY), Loss of Virginity, Spanking, Unsafe Sex (wrap it before you tap it folks)

Word Count: 2098 words

Summary: Sick and tired of waiting, you decide you’re ready to finally lose your virginity. Lucky for you, a friend of yours has a tantalizing suggestion on how to do so…

A/N: Ok so this was ORIGINALLY supposed to be a short drabble ( <1000 words) for Kinktober, but as y’all can tell I went into a writing frenzy and it became a full fic. Please forgive any typos, as the horniest muse ever possessed me as I typed and edited this and I’m too impatient not to post it lol. Hope y’all enjoy!

(P.S. Sex Work is Work and all sex workers deserve to be treated with respect. Do not necessarily take this fic as a completely accurate depiction of how sex work is performed. Nevertheless, enjoy some sweetness)

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“You as well.”

The motel room you find yourself in is surpisingly homely. The flickering overheads have been turned off and replaced by soft lavender fairy lights strung around the bed frame. Cheap and stiff blankets have been neatly folded and put away in the closet, the bed now decorated with a big fluffy duvet and several plush pillows. Some candles have been lit and placed on the nearby desk.

“It's Joranez, right? Want to make sure I’m saying that correctly.”

“That’s right, but you can call me Jora, darling.” He winks, taking hold of both your hands, holding them to his chest. The action isn’t very intimate, but it can’t help but send a hot blush across your face. Jora is stunningly attractive, his silken hair pulled back in a low ponytail. His purple skin is flawless, shiny just like his horns, which curl and twist upwards. His smile is charming, sharp canines seeming so friendly despite everything.

“Is this okay?” Jora whispers, rubbing a thumb across the back of your palm. You nod, letting your fingers unfurl and touch the bare skin of his chest. “Do you remember the safe words, the ones in the email?”

“Y- yes. Lime for go, strawberry for stop.” You take a deep breath. “A-and banana for slow down.”

A clawed hand runs across your cheek, goosebumps running down yiur heck as Jora draws even closer. His breath brushes across your face, his yellow eyes glowing in the low light. Even though he’s a stranger, you can’t help but feel very safe.

“Good pet. Now, shall we get started?”

—

Jora had been recommended to you by a mutual friend, one of your best friends actually; Rory. She worked nights at a sex hotline and Jora often took shifts there during the drier months of the year. From what she had told you he was highly requested and had great reviews, known for perfectly crafting whatever mood or scenario his customers wanted. You had asked if it would be weird, sleeping with someone she knows so personally, but Rory had quickly quieted your fears. If anything it was better, as she knew you’d be in great hands and she was often quite protective.

So Rory gave you his work number and you scheduled the appointment to lose your virginity.

Given how you’re feeling right now, you think you made the right decision.

“You make such beautiful noises, dear.” Jora whispers in your ear, his long tongue licking up your trembling neck. “I’d love to hear more.”

He gets his wish, a moany breath leaving as he scissors his fingers inside of you, pads pressing hard on your outer walls. He chuckles, a warm sound that only makes your body hotter.

How easily he was able to undo you. You lay naked in his lap, legs spread wide and chest heaving with each breath. Sweat drips down your collarbone and your skin feels on fire, every soft touch and caress leaving tingles across your body. The duvet provides just enough purchase for you to dig your fingers into, still too shy to yank on Jora’s open robe.

The pleasant ache as Jora stretches you open on his finger was far better than you imagined, probably far better than some random hookup would have provided you. Starting with one, now two, he’s somehow slowly unraveled your senses. Now you sit as a putty ball of pleasure in his lap, all for him to treat.

Guess I’m a sub. You joke in your head, though you already had a suspicion before this. Or maybe Jora is just such a master of control that anyone falls to their knees in front of him. It wouldn’t surprise you.

“How about three?” Jora whispers in your ear, waiting for your timid nod before sinking a third finger inside you. He splays them out, stretching out your walls before resuming to thrust. Black and white spots speckle behind your eyelids, that burn in your gut only growing hotter. “So good pet, you’re doing fantastic.” Jora plants a soft peck on your temple, his free hand rubbing affectionate circles into your hips. Said hips jerk and spasm on his digits, desperate for more.

“I t-think…” You whimper, somehow still shy as this incubus is literally inside of you. “I think I’m ready for you c-cock.”

“Oh, is that so?” Jora teases, flexing his fingers again. “I think so too, lovely.”

Jora is slow and methodical as he pulls his fingers out of you, gently coaxing your hips to flip you around. Your shaky legs straddle his lap, Jora giving another gentle kiss to your lips. He grinds against you, getting a squeak and a shiver.

Jora begins to sit up, pushing you onto your back and adjusting for missionary position, but you stop him with hand to his chest.

“Actually, could we do Doggy style?” You request, somehow not stuttering your way through it.

Jora’s eyes widen, but its accompanied by a delighted smirk.

“Of course.”

With another gentle press to your hips, Jora flips you onto your stomach. A strong palm smoothes down your lower back, arching it into his hips as he adjusts himself. You can hear the sound of the lube bottle as Jora gets more, rubbing it over your entrance. A heated presence presses up against your hole, throbbing and slick. Even without seeing it, you can tell Jora is quite well endowed.

“Tell me if it hurts to much, okay dearie?”

You give a simple “uh-huh.”, trying to decide if you want to shove your face in the covers or stare into the void of the motel room.

Your brain decides for you, biting your lip and clenching your eyes when Jora finally begins to slide in you.

It doesn’t hurt, thank goodness, but it is a little…unusual. It’s a fullness where you didn’t even realize there was emptiness. As Jora goes further, you get the stretch in places you've never reached before, not with fingers or even a dildo. The unexplored is extra sensitive, your hips spasming as Jora eventually bottoms out inside you. He swivels his hips, the head of his cock brushing against something that feels amazing.

A clawed hand rubs your scalp, reaching down to pat your cheek. You can feel Jora’s body heat as he leans his chest closer, his robe rolled down his shoulders to expose his bare skin. “How does that feel?”

“Good.” You mutter, digging your face half into the covers. The noises bubbling in your throat are so whiny, so debauched, you can’t help but try to tamp them down. “You can m-move. Slowly.”

“Of course, dear.”

Jora sits up, grabbing gently onto the fat of your hips. The bed shifts as he pulls out halfway, before gently thrusting upward. You gasp, a strange sensation shooting up your stomach. Jora chuckles, pulling back slowly again. That emptiness feels wrong now, it feels incomplete.

“Faster, p-please.”

Jora must nod, though you didn't see it. His fingers dig into your sides, not enough to even leave a mark, and he begins humping in earnest.

Those noises you tried to suppress become impossibly loud, even in shaky breaths and moans. Bed springs squeak underneath you, the slap of Jora’s hips against yours sending a hot sensation down your legs. It's so lewd, but it feels so right.

“You feel amazing.” Jora moans. “Such a tight hole, all for me.” Jora speeds up a bit, met with your eager hips throwing backwards on his cock. “And a pretty face on top.”

All you can do is bite your lip, feeling a hit blush as Jora lavishes you with compliments. His pelvis pounds against your ass, toned muscle meeting the plush flesh. Jora begins to fondle the fat, giving it a light pat, holding back for your sake.

“Please slap my ass.” You whine, getting an extra eager thrust from Jora in response. You can’t see it, but you’re sure he’s smirking.

“You’re wish is my command.”

Jora’s palm meets the skin with a resounding slap, enough to jiggle your cheeks and surely to leave a mark, but you doubt it’s as hard as he can go.

“H-harder, please.”

Jora hums, rubbing the spot he just hit.

“Surprisingly naughty, aren’t you?” This time Jora reels back his hand and gives you a proper spank, enough to send your lower half forward. You weren’t quite sure what to expect, but you didn’t realize how good the stinging could feel. “I love it, you want some more?” Jora gyrates his hips, pressing his cockhead to the very deepest parts of you.

“Yes, yes!” You barely reocgnize your voice, keening and desperate. The moans as Jora slaps your ass again are depraved, downright erotic. He switches hands and slaps your other ass cheek, taking a moment to squeeze and fondle the fat afterwards. He begins to alternate his slaps, using the other hand to hold onto your hips and yank you back onto his cock. It hasn’t escaped your notice that he’s picked up the pace, each thrust reaching your guts at a quick speed. You can hear the slap of Jora’s balls as they hit your underside.

“You’re so gorgeous.” Jora purrs, voice so composed you wouldn’t even realize’s he’s blowing your back out. “Don’t you want to see yourself?”

Jora must see your brows furrow, cause he leans down and tilts your jaw forward. “Look up, dear.”

Opening your hazy eyes, you notice a full-length mirror in front of you both. It hadn’t been there before, or so your cock-drunk mind remembers, and you wonder if Jora had moved it in place with some minor magic. He was an incubus, after all.

But those thoughts come second to seeing how unraveled your look. Your face is flushed, sweat beading on your forehead. Your back is so arched you can see the way your ass jiggles with every thrust. Not to mention Jora, whose pony is slowly coming undone, looking like a literal Adonis. His sultry gaze burns in to you, toned chest and abs flexing with his humps. He had been so sweet at the beginning, but it seems your naughtiness has drawn out his mischievous side; He wears a big smirk, biting his lip and admiring the naughty picture you make in the mirror.

“See? Just as I told you-” Jora gives a particularly hard thrust and stars shoot across your vision, “-gorgeous.”

Your entire lower half feels lit up, a faint buzz going all the way down to your toes as your abdomen grows tighter and tighter. It’s so similar yet so different from when you’ve masturbated before. The coming climax feels hotter, more explosive, like a high you’ve only dreamed about.

Jora can tell, either with his specially-tuned senses or by the way your hole clenches. “Close, love?”

All you can do is nod, tongue lolled out with a mind too far gone. You’re thankful Jora had the wherewithall to ask where you’d like him to come at the start, as you have no way of giving an answer now.

“That's right, cum for me. I want to see you.”

That’s all it takes, the knot splitting in an instant as you come with Jora’s cock deep inside you. You can see him clench his eyes shut as your hole milks him, just pulling out in time to cum all over your back.

The next few minutes are a bit hazy. Your legs had collapsed under you, your brain thoroughly cock drunk and trying to reboot. Jora, ever the professional, quickly recuperated. He rubbed soft circles into your lower back, leaning over to get some cleaning wipes. You vaguely remember him flipping you onto your back, tilting your chin up and giving you some water. The sensation of the back of his knuckles, brushing along the side of your face comes to mind as you sipped.

“Good dearie.” Jora gives you a peck in the cheek. “You did so well, love. I’m happy I was able to share this with you.”

Jora is sweet and leta you take plenty of time to rest and come back to yourself, giving you another kiss and his card on your way out.

“If you ever want to be naughty again, love.”

You walked out with a tired yet enthusiastic pep in your step.

You definitely owe Rory one.