#based off a very sad discussion i had with friends

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

happy 3rd death anniversary to ethan winters who waited 17 years for flowers 🌹

[leaderwonim]

𓇻 I’M A FEMINIST, OBVIOUSLY, BUT I WOULDN’T REALLY MIND HIM SAVING ME.

▸ PAIRING.. class president!yang jungwon x outcast!fem!reader

▸ SYNP. jang y/n hated yang jungwon. perfect, loved by everybody, class president yang jungwon. people only liked him because he was a man and he was charismatic. however, when she’s being picked on by the girls at school, yang jungwon comes to her rescue, and weirdly, she didn’t mind it?

▸ GENRE. enemies to lovers (it’s one sided though, yn just hates jw😭) angst, mentions of bullying, mentions of sexism, fluff

author’s note: this is based off of olivia rodrigo’s unreleased song! This was honestly so much fun to write and it took me about 3 days cause I fell violently ILL like the day after I started writing😭 As usual, REBLOGS and COMMENTS are so greatly appreciated <33

Jang Y/N was what people called an outcast. Although she was pretty and had the grades, she heavily disliked half of her class, which in turn, didn’t exactly make her very popular.

“I hate him.” She says as she shoves a spoonful of rice into her mouth. Her only friend was her sister, Wonyoung, who told her that she shouldn’t be so negative all the time.

“Who, Jungwon?” Wonyoung asks, frowning. “Yah Y/N, you can’t hate him forever. He’s nothing but nice to you.”

“I don’t care,” Y/N mumbles angrily, putting away her lunch. “Wonyo, people only like him because he’s a man who can say a few charming words. He smiles and at least half of our class falls onto their knees or something.”

Wonyoung chokes at her sister’s comparison, and can’t help but let out a little laugh. “I’m just saying Y/nie, you can’t just despise him because he seems perfect to the naked eye. In fact, I say become friends with him. It’ll be good for you.”

Y/N shuts down the idea right away, much to Wonyoung’s dismay.

“I am just saying,” Wonyoung stands up, finished with her lunch. “I mean, don’t you find it sad? That you eat lunch everyday with your sister instead of eating with friends or a boyfriend?”

“No,” Y/N says, frowning. “I like eating lunch with you Wonyo.”

“Hm, I guess.”

The Jang sisters lock arms, strolling to their next class. They miss the longing glance that Yang Jungwon sends towards Y/N’s direction, already too far gone into the Decelis Academy hallway.

‏‏‎ ‎

Unfortunately for Y/N, she had her leadership class with Jungwon, where they would discuss things like student politics and how to better the school so that Decelis could stay at its rightful place of number one on private academy rankings.

It was stupid, Y/N thought, Decelis shouldn’t even be close to number one, this school was filled with a bunch of spoilt children who were obsessed with the idea of money and power.

“Is there a problem, Miss. Jang?” The teacher asks, noticing the little scoffs she was adding each time Jungwon spoke about an initiative he wanted to add.

“No,” Y/N shrugs. “I just think Yang Jungwon’s new initiative is just a waste of time. It's not going to solve anything.”

Jungwon smirks, something that Y/N so desperately wants to wipe the floor with. “Y/N, always the critic of my ideas. Very well, let’s hear your brilliant solution.”

She rolls her eyes. Of course Yang Jungwon wanted to pretend to remain civil, if he had blown up on her, it would’ve tarnish his reputation, and Yang Jungwon would be nothing without his reputation, right?

“Instead of your one-size-fits-all approach method, we need personalized mentorship programs. Each student faces unique challenges, and your initiative doesn't address that.”

Jungwon smiles. “Well I suppose you’re right. But perhaps if you actually joined the initiative, you'd understand its effectiveness.”

Y/N grits her teeth, not enjoying how much Yang Jungwon was enjoying this. “Oh, right, because following the herd blindly is the key to success? Unlike half of Decelis’ population, I prefer independent thinking.”

The boy leans closer in, face almost touching the girl. “Sometimes collaboration is the key to progress, Y/N. Try it sometime.”

The two students make eye contact until Y/N breaks, finally pulling her eyes away.

“As usual, Yang Jungwon always has to be right.” She mumbles under her breath. “God, please save me from being in this class any longer,”

‏‏‎ ‎

Y/N throws her backpack on the floor as soon as she steps into her house, not caring about the expensive computer her grandmother had bought her last Christmas that was stuffed inside. Her parents were in the kitchen, discussing something in hushed whispers, almost as if it was top secret.

Always being the curious child, she leans onto the wall that separated the living room and kitchen, trying to make out what the topic was about.

“I’m just worried honey,” she can hear her mom say as her dad rubs her back comfortingly. “Y/N doesn’t have a lot of friends at that school, Wonyoung told me about it. You know she only hangs out with her sister and that’s it?”

“I mean, is it really that bad that she only hangs out with Wonyoung? She’s always been quiet, I think we’ve just got to respect that. She’s an excellent student anyway, there’s no harm in having little friends.”

Although her parents truly just wanted the best for her, Y/N felt like a complete loser by how they were going about it.

She quickly rushed to her room, biting her lip in annoyance at how everybody seemed to have an opinion about her life. She was happy with how it was going, and she didn’t care that her only friend was her sister, Wonyoung was a sweetheart and lived with her, it was a built in best friend for life.

“Just you wait,” Y/N huffs, sharpening her pencil. “I’m gonna go to university, leave this place, and I won’t have to hear about any of these kids ever again.”

‏‏‎

Y/N woke up the next day with a red eye, probably from crying last night despite telling herself she didn’t care.

She cared, a lot.

Romanticizing being alone was fun until she realized that she was truly all alone, with no friends to lean on.

“Is that Jang Y/N?”

Park Jiwon. The devil herself. She was evil as she was pretty, and she had no problem making Y/N’s life a living hell.

“Where’s Wonyoung? Did your own sister finally get tired of you?” Her little group of minions laugh as if it was the funniest thing ever, and Y/N tries and stops herself from giving them all a swing to the face.

“No, but I’m sure you’re used to that feeling, right Jiwon?”

“Oh you little b—”

“Jiwon, you can’t hit her! You’ll get suspended and it’ll go on your permanent record.” Her friend says, which makes the girl straighten up right away.

“You’re lucky Jang,” the girl snarls. “But yah, what were you thinking? Talking back to Jungwon? He’s so smart and handsome, dedicating his time to make initiatives for the school. You should be more grateful.”

She and her minions get so close that they practically push Y/N back onto the locker, suffocating her with their glares.

“Hey, what’s going on here?” The voice of Jungwon doesn’t go unnoticed by a single girl, who, all but Y/N, straighten up their hair when they realize he’s behind them.

“We’re just talking, right Y/N?” Jiwon says, pinching onto the girl tightly.

“Really? It doesn’t seem like it.” Jungwon rolls his eyes. “Park Jiwon, don’t make me give you detention for picking on other students. It doesn’t make you attractive.”

The girl gasps, immediately letting Y/N go as her face heats up in embarrassment.

“I wasn’t—”

“Just go.” With one point of a finger, Yang Jungwon got Park Jiwon and her minions out of the hallway, leaving Y/N and him alone.

“You okay?” He asks her, eyes concerned.

“Thank you,” she breathes out. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Why didn’t I?” He raises his eyebrows. “You were getting picked on.”

“Well, I’m not the nicest to you.” The girl says, suddenly embarrassed. “At all, actually. So thank you Jungwon, really.”

“Ah,” the boy smiles. “It’s nothing. I don’t hate you if that’s what you think, I think you have a brilliant mind just like me.”

And for the first time since she’s stepped into the school, Jang Y/N finds herself liking Yang Jungwon, and not just for his looks.

‏‏‎

“Y/N!” The loud voice of Yang Jungwon doesn’t go by Wonyoung, who gives her sister a smirk as she slightly pushes back her shoulder.

“Wonder why he’s coming,” she teases, which makes Y/N scrunch up her nose in annoyance.

“Would you like to come with me to this new bread place?” He asks, hands on his knees as he catches his breath. “Sorry—I ran all the way from the cabinet office to here.”

“It’s alright,” Y/N giggles, which makes Wonyoung’s eyes pop out of their sockets because she swears she never heard that sound coming from her sister’s mouth before. “I’d love to Jungwon.”

“Great! I’ll uh.. I’ll see you later!”

Wonyoung turns to face Y/N as soon as Jungwon leaves, giving her the biggest grin ever. “What was that?!”

“Let’s just say, I don’t hate Yang Jungwon anymore.” Y/N smiles, laughing as she watches Wonyoung’s jaw practically drop to the ground.

‏‏‎

“It’s cold, isn’t it?” Jungwon says as he and Y/N walk to the new bread place.

“Yes,” Y/N puffs out, “I should’ve brought a jacket.”

Before she knew it, Jungwon already takes off his jacket and wraps it around the girl’s shoulder.

“Jungwon,” she whines, “then you’ll be cold!”

“It’s alright really!” He laughs, giving her a big smile. “I’m practically invincible to cold. Was just asking because you seemed to be freezing.”

“You’re sweet,” she says, looking down at her feet. “I feel really guilty for trying to one up up all the time or prove you wrong. I just hate it, you know?”

“Hate what?”

“You might not realize it but a lot of people don’t want to hear what I say because I’m a woman, and that’s it. Just because I’m a woman. Like sometimes, I have ideas just as brilliant and changing as yours, but everybody says I’m complaining and over analyzing. When you say it, with your handsome face and clear voice, everybody’s suddenly entranced, and they’re so interested in school politics.”

“So you think I’m handsome?”

Y/N rolls her eyes, pushing back Jungwon slightly as he laughs.

“I’m kidding, Y/N. I know what you mean now. I’m sorry that I can’t change how people view and perceive things, but I want you to know that I listen to your ideas, that I care. You might not realize this either but whenever you’re talking, I always listen. Like your initiative about bringing better programs into the school, I listened through the whole thing because I just—I’m inlove with the way you articulate things and the way you speak. If I was half as good at speaking my mind like you were, I’d be unstoppable. You’re a great person, Y/N, and I’m so glad I’m able to see that.”

The way Yang Jungwon speaks about her makes Y/N want to cry and smother him in a hug, which she does a second later by bringing him into a bone crushing hug.

“Thank you Jungwon.” She says, face in his neck. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” He feels like he’s out of breath by how close the two of them were, his heartbeat racing by each second that passed. “I’d do anything for you, Y/N.”

‏‏‎

“Hey!” Y/N is practically used to seeing Yang Jungwon come up to her everyday now, the two even spending lunch together every two days.

“What’s up Yang?” She says, noticing a packet of papers in his hand.

“You know your feedback on my initiative? Your personalized mentorship program idea! The headmaster really liked it and he’s implementing it starting next semester with your name as the credit on it!”

Y/N’s eyes widen in joy, shrieking as her hands unconsciously come in contact with Jungwon’s, the two holding both of each other’s hands tightly as they jumped in happiness.

“You’re amazing Yang Jungwon!” She says giddily, “you really are.”

The two of them stop to stare at one another for a brief second before Jungwon finds himself leaning in, closing the gap between their lips.

When they pull away, the smiles on their faces never fades, Jungwon’s dimple ever so prominent.

“I love you,” Y/N breathes out. “My wonderful class president.”

And although Y/N is a feminist, obviously, she wouldn’t mind a man like Yang Jungwon saving her, for he taught her what love was like, and that she should never ever settle for less.

[wosoamazing]

There is no 'I' in Team

Summary: Based on this request.

Warnings: Panic Attack, Mentions of Abuse Father (reading also asking not to be hit etc)

A/N: I hope you like it.

The media was relishing your appearance, every reporter had thrown your name out in whatever interview they were doing, you were in stories on the front cover of the news.

“The 14 year old power house” “Some of football's greatest legends have honoured this youngster” “Beckham: That kid is insane, a star”

______

“And she missed, straight over the crossbar. What a rare sight to see,”

“Yes, yes, yes, ohh, missed opportunity again, it went wide”

“Fantastic save by Mary Earps”

"Wide yet again. She has had 40 attempts this game and only 2 on target, both of which Earps has saved,"

Australia lost the world cup to England, you felt like it was your fault, the media decided it was your fault, you were still plastered all over the media, however in a different light this time.

"Has the wonder kid lost her Wonder?" "A gold medal gone, was Y/F/N Y/L/N the right choice?" "Wonder if Beckham still thinks she is a star"

After the game you were incredibly disappointed in yourself and upset, and angry with yourself, you really questioned whether you were the best player of the team, the night you recieved a silver medal at the world cup was not celebrated by you. You were upset and so was the rest of the team, however they all still celebrated, but how could you when you were the reason the heavy disc that hung round their necks was silver and not gold. You were the only one that night who still had tears of sadness falling from your eyes as you went up to collect your medal, you still had sad tears in your eyes as you arrived back to your hotel room. Most of your teammates had left the celebrations to talk to you and comfort you at some point during the night. starting with the obvious ones, Caitlin, then Steph, then Sam, and ending with the not so obvious pick, Kyra, you and Kyra were very close friends it was just that the girls didn't think she would be able to help you in the way you needed. You didn't say a single word to any of them, you just continued to cry, as you remained in your tight coil on the bed.

You didn't talk to anyone about football for months, or even just in general, you tried your best to avoid everyone, you couldn't kick the feeling of knowing you had disappointed them. After training you would just go straight up to your room and lock yourself in, only appearing for dinner. Katie and Caitlin your newly adoptive parents were growing concerned, and were trying to figure out how they could discuss what was going on with you.

______

The opening match for the season hadn't gone that well for you, your shots weren't going in, which made you frustrated and with every off target shot your frustration grew. You couldn't wait for the final whistle to be blown, you just wanted to get off the pitch.

You were near the commentators as the whistle was blown, you could hear their debrief and opinions on the game, the players, more specifically you “As a coach you would be starting to think about changing your go to line up, off days happen, but this, this is different, from being up there with the best of the best, to missing the most basic shots, the shots that should 100% go in. Shots that caused your country to come second.”

You felt your breath hitch at that moment, the reminder you were the reason you came second, the reminder of how you let down your team, your whole country. Suddenly you could feel every single beat of your heart, you could hear blood rushing past your ears, you ran down the tunnel through the locker room and into one of the bathroom stalls, quickly locking the door before sliding down the wall. Curling yourself in a tight ball, hiding yourself away from the world. 

Your Dad’s words racing through your mind “You’re a let down, a failure. A complete waste of space.” You never believed him but maybe he was right, maybe the abusive bastard was actually correct, what if you were wrong, what if you didn’t deserve a new life. What if Katie and Caitlin didn’t actually want you, what if they weren’t actually proud of you, what if they were ashamed of you, what if you were a waste of their time, what if they hated you.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw someone standing near you. How did they get through the locked door? Were you so incredibly hopeless that you couldn't even lock a door? They took a step forward, and you felt your body start shaking slightly, coiling yourself into a tighter ball.

“Please don’t hit me, I’m sorry, I know I'm a waste of space.” you felt a hand on you, however it wasn’t a painful touch, it was a soft comforting hand, but you couldn't risk it, trying to move out of the grip of the persons hand, however soon they had both hands on you, slightly gripping onto you so you couldn’t move away.

“I’m sorry, I’ll do better, I’ll leave, I know you’re ashamed of me”

“Baby girl it's okay, it's just me, I’m safe, I’m not going to hit you, I love you, it’s okay, everything is alright,” They said in a very soft, calm voice as they moved you into their lap. A familiar scent met your nose it was Katie, you slightly relaxed at her presence, but quickly tensed again, what if she thought you were a burden, you felt like you were swaying, your head felt foggy, you felt sick, your body was shaking, your face was wet from your streaming tears.

You felt the hands wrap around you tighten, “I’ve got you, you’re okay, can you take some deep breaths for me? Like we practise.” You took some deep breaths. “Good Job,” you sat there with Katie for a few minutes.

“How about you have a shower and then we can talk. Okay?” you nod, “But just know that Caitlin and I love you so much, and we are very proud of you and we are so happy you came into our lives, and I promise that is not a lie” you stand up with her and give her a big hug before going to shower, you almost hated the way she knew what you were thinking, almost always. While you were showering no one came into the shower, which you thought was weird, until you walked out of the showers and saw everyone standing there huddled around Katie.

Katie noticed you were standing there. “You ready to talk?” you nodded slinkishly, “come here” she sat down and gestured for you to sit down on her lap, you willingly went over, and sat on her lap. Caitlin sat next to the both of you.

“What’s wrong?” Katie asked you “I’m not good enough”

“Why do you think that?” Caitlin queried.

“We lost the final because of me. And now we lost because I couldn't shoot,” you took a deep breath and paused for a moment “Maybe i shouldn't have become a footballer” you sad before a small sob left your body.

“Hey, we came second because of you, we wouldn’t have been in that match if it wasn’t for you. It doesn’t matter what they say, if you weren’t on our team we wouldn’t have been in that match.” Steph told you.

“You know, you are amazing kid, it’s okay to have off days, off weeks and off months, its okay, and it’s not fair for anyone but especially yourself to blame losses on yourself, its a team sport, we win as a team and we lose as a team” Leah told you and you just nodded your head, the whole team reassured you that you were still good and an excellent player even though you were having some off days, you had calmed down but the team stayed where they were for a little longer, to show you that they were there for you.

The team went off to shower eventually, but Katie did not, you just stayed sitting in her lap, soaking up her warm embrace. “What if we invited some of the girls over for a movie night tonight, would you like that? They could even sleep over.” You nodded your head.

That evening you found yourself surrounded by your teams as you watched a movie, they all really cared about you and supported you, so you made yourself a promise that you would start to try and open up to them more.

[snoopyracing]

BIRDS OF A FEATHER // CL16 *SNEAK PEAK*

pairing: charles leclerc X reader

summary: follows charles and childhood bestfriend!reader through their lives. kind of based off of birds of a feather by billie eilish.

a/n: here's a sneak peak from my upcoming fic! this is just one segment of it, but i hope you guys like it enough to read the whole thing when it's posted! if you'd like to be tagged let me know :)

masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

sixteen and nineteen

Newsflash you do live without Charles liking you back. In fact your crush goes away by the end of that year, no thanks to the new boy in your grade, who eventually ends up being your boyfriend. But it was safe to say you were over Charles, at least you think you are. 

Charles, on the other hand, stayed with the girl who made you go crazy at age thirteen for over a year, but they broke up over text. And to your disappointment, Charles never told you the reason why. Ever since then it’s been somewhat of a revolving door of girls in Charles' life. Okay – maybe not a revolving door, but at least three different girls in the past two years.

None of them lasted for more than a couple months though, and it was getting to the point where no one in either of your families got to know the girls. Everyone knew that they would be gone sooner than later. After his last “breakup” a couple months ago, he hadn’t brought around a new one, he claimed that he needed to focus on racing, that F1 seat was almost in his grasp and that was all that mattered to him right now, but you knew there was something else going on. 

While Charles was having issues in the relationship department, you were actually flourishing. You had met your now boyfriend Lucas, when he was the new kid your eighth grade year. You thought he was cute from the moment he walked into your History class the first day back from winter break.

And when the seat next to you was the only open desk you tried to hide your excitement as he sat down, but when he smiled at you first, it was hard to hide the blush creeping onto your cheeks. He was the first to speak, asking if you had a pencil. But his accent made your ears perk up – he was Spanish. The big brown doe eyes and dark hair fit him, now that you realized he was Spanish. 

“Do all Spaniards come unprepared on their first day?” You teased as you handed him a pencil. It was his turn to be the one blushing as he stifled a smile. 

“No, I just wanted an excuse to talk to you.” 

So he was a flirt – noted. 

The two of you became good friends rather quickly, but per your parents rules, you couldn’t date until you were fifteen. So, you played the long game and prayed that no one else peaked his interest. Luckily for you, he was so infatuated with you that he was willing to wait, and on your fifteenth birthday you went on your first date.

He was nothing shy of a gentleman, even going as far as asking your parents permission to take you out, something your Father was very fond of. And as your parents watched their little girl walk out the door hand in hand with a boy they couldn’t help but feel a little sad. 

“Our little girl is growing up.” 

Your Mom wrapped a comforting arm around your Dad. “I know. I’m glad though, I figured she would waste her teenage years waiting on Charles.” 

A questioning look washed across your Dad’s face. “What?” 

“Oh honey. Don’t act like you’ve been blind these past ten years. They’ve always been drawn to each other, her more than him. She was absolutely heartbroken when he brought his first girlfriend to dinner that one time.” 

“Guess I should have known when he got them those matching rings.” Your Dad huffed. 

“Hmm,” she rests her head on his shoulder, her hand rubbing soothing circles on his abdomen as they still stand there, staring at the door. “You know Pascale has always said that Y/N would end up with Charles.” 

Your Dad scoffs at your Mom’s words. “And what do you think of that?” 

“I think only time will tell.” 

While your parents were discussing your love life back at home, you were having a grand time on your date. The pizza place Lucas had taken you to was cute, a fitting place for two fifteen year olds to be on a first date. Thankfully it wasn’t awkward or tense, and you had to thank the two of you for being friends for a year before your date for that. It was just like the two of you hanging out. 

On the walk back to your house your hands never separate, even when they start to become sweaty. And when he pulls you closer to him, so you're basically hugging his arm, you realize you could get used to this. The way his brown eyes look like pools of honey when the sun hits them just right as he looks down at you, the feeling of his thumb gently rubbing circles on your hand, and the way your name rolls of his tongue when he talks to you, especially with that accent of his. All of it has that all too familiar warm fuzzy feeling appearing in your stomach. 

When he stops in front of the ice cream shop near your house he doesn’t even have to ask you if you want any, you’re already dragging him towards the entrance. The little bell on the door rings as the two of you walk inside and the all too familiar sugary sweet smell hits your nostrils. 

“Ah! Chérie!” 

The owner Mr. Martin – a short old man with what you would call haystacks for eyebrows was beaming at you from behind the counter. He had grown fond of you and the Leclerc boys over the years, claiming that he loved seeing the three of you grow up, as he never had any grandchildren of his own. Though, when his eyes shifted to the right and saw Lucas standing next to you his smile fell briefly, if you hadn’t been staring at him you wouldn’t have caught it. 

“Who is this handsome young man?” He asks as the two of you walk towards him.. 

You introduce Lucas to Mr. Martin and it’s at that moment that you realize that this is the first time you’ve brought him here. Something that didn’t seem possible to you because you were here so often that you had to have brought Lucas here at least once, but you can’t recall a time. 

Only when a vanilla cone is in front of your face are you brought out of your thoughts. Of course Mr. Martin didn’t need to ask you what you wanted, it’s been the same thing every time for the past ten years. Lucas had already sat down at one of the little tables, chocolate cone in hand, while he waited for you. 

“I was surprised to see you with a boy other than Charles.” Mr. Martin states as he wipes down the counter. “He must be special because I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in here with anyone other than your family or Charles.” 

His words hit you like a ton of bricks. Yes, this was your first time you had brought Lucas here, but you know you’ve brought other friends here. There was no way in your ten years here that you hadn’t, but once again your mind was drawing a blank. As you glance back over at Lucas a knot forms in your stomach, it suddenly feels wrong to have brought him here. Like in some way you were tainting this place with his presence. Ruining whatever special hold this place has on your relationship with your family– with Charles. 

You completely ignore Mr. Martin’s statements and just give him a smile and thanks before making up an excuse as to why Lucas and you need to leave. He doesn’t take much convincing when you claim to want to see the sunset. His hand is back in yours as you hear the bell ring once more as the two of you leave. And it’s like as soon as you guys are back on the sidewalk walking towards your house, the gut wrenching feeling is gone. The only evidence of it is left in the ice cream and by the time you’re standing on your front porch step it’s all gone. 

Lucas has a lopsided grin on his face, one you’ve grown to love, as the two of you stand facing each other. “You know we are missing the sunset you wanted to see.” His fingers lightly toy with yours, before finally intertwining them again.

“Mmh. It’s okay.” You were getting lost in those big brown eyes of his, the sunset the last thing on your mind. 

“I’d rather stare at you anyways, you’re much prettier.” 

His words make you practically putty in his hands and before you know it you’re having your first kiss. It’s sweet, metaphorically and literally, the taste of ice cream still on both of your lips. His hand cups your cheek and you have to wonder if he’s done this before. But when he pulls away he only has you craving more, so you lean up and steal on more from him. Giggles escaping past your lips as you see the light blush on his cheeks, you were sure yours were bright red. “Guess this is where I ask you to be my girlfriend huh? Not like I’ve been obsessed with you since my first day of school, been waiting all year or anything.” 

You raise an eyebrow at him with a smirk on your face. “Are you going to properly ask me?” 

By the end of the night when you’re laying in bed, you had officially gone on your first date, had your first kiss, and obtained a boyfriend all in a matter of hours that day. You were a giddy mess, excitement coursed through your veins, and you couldn’t help but repeatedly feel your lips, the feeling of Lucas’ still fresh in your mind the whole night. You couldn’t wait to feel them on yours again. And when he texts you that he wants to hang out tomorrow you think your heart just might leap out of your chest. 

Being with Lucas was like living on cloud nine, you truly couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend. As the year progressed you really wondered how you had snagged someone like him– tall, dark, and handsome. You felt like the luckiest girl in the world, and he made you feel like it too, until he didn’t.

That’s the funny thing about first loves, you really think nothing could ever come between you, that it’s going to last forever. But the only thing that lasts forever is the damage they leave when they’re gone. 

You aren’t really sure what switched in Lucas, but after a year of being together he turned into someone who was never happy with what you did, always picking fights over stupid little things. And you know you should have left him already, but you love him, and you think you guys can make it work. You’re only sixteen and your Mom tells you relationships shouldn’t be like this at this age, shouldn’t be mentally draining, but unfortunately this one is. 

All your arguments as of lately had been about Charles. Lucas, though denying it every time you brought it up, had become jealous of him. You weren’t even sure where the jealousy had come from, you barely saw Charles like you used to. He was in F2 on the cusp of getting that F1 seat and you were busy with school and spending time with Lucas. You had even gone as far as rejecting invites to hang out with your other friends to spend time with Lucas, something now you regret very deeply. 

It’s a chilly Friday night in February when everything comes crashing down. The argument started over Charles texting you asking if you wanted to hang out. You were already with Lucas, but you hadn’t seen Charles in a couple weeks and you knew once the season started seeing him would be even more scarce. So, you make the big mistake of asking Lucas if he wanted to hang out with Charles. 

“Why would I want to hang out with him?” His back was turned to you, but you already knew from his tone that this was going to turn into an argument. 

“Well I haven’t seen him in awhile and he texted me asking to hang out, I thought we all could hang out.” You thought maybe by including Lucas in the plans that it would make the situation better–wrong. 

He turns to face you, walking towards your bed where you’re currently sat. “Did he mention me in the text?” 

“Well no but-” 

“Exactly,” Lucas scoffs at you, his expression sour as he looms over you. “He doesn’t want me to come. I would get in his way.” 

You roll your eyes at his dramatics, Charles was not the guy Lucas made him out to be. “Don’t know what you mean by you getting in his way.” 

“Oh don’t act cute about it Y/N.” Hearing your name roll off his tongue no longer sounded like music to your ears, it now more resembled nails on a chalkboard, like each time he spoke your name it was venom coming out his mouth. “Bet if I gave him the chance he’d try to get in your pants at the first opportunity.” 

Your eyes widened, cheeks getting hot at his accusations. “What kind of girl do you think I am Lucas?” 

“All I’m saying is your friendship with him isn’t normal, and it makes a guy wonder.” 

You were up off of your bed now, the two of you standing in the middle of your room. “This is getting old. I’ve told you, you have nothing to be jealous of.” You had started to twist the ring on your pinky finger, a nervous habit you had developed over the past couple years. 

“That is why your friendship isn’t normal.” Lucas grabs your hand, his fingers twisting at the ring trying to pull it off your finger. “What kind of girl wears a ring another guy got her while in a relationship? Huh? Even worse that you’ve got matching ones.”

Yanking your hand free from his grasp you can feel your blood starting to boil, and you’re thankful your parents aren’t home tonight because you can tell this is going to get ugly. “We fucking grew up together! He’s like a brother Lucas!” You were the first one to yell and you had unfortunately opened the floodgates because now Lucas is yelling.

“Who hasn’t heard that before?! He’s like a brother. Give me a fucking break. You’re telling me you’ve never had feelings for him? Not once in your life?”  

The accusations and ideas he was throwing around tonight were beyond ridiculous. 

“I’m not thirteen anymore Lucas. You know I only love you.” And you don’t realize what you’ve basically admitted until it leaves your mouth and you hear Lucas let out a dry laugh. 

“Ah. There it is. I think that last part may have been a lie, because you still wouldn’t be wearing that ring if you didn’t still feel something for him.” 

You shake your head at him, why couldn’t he get what you were saying though his thick skull. “I only have platonic love for Charles. It’s nothing like what you and I have.” 

He clicks his tongue, and you can hear the gears turning in his head. “Prove it.” You furrow your eyebrows at him, confused as to how you are supposed to prove that you love only him. “Take the ring off and give it back to Charles.” 

You tuck your hands behind your back, afraid he’ll try and rip it off your finger again. “No. It’s just a ring Lucas. You’re giving it more power than it has.” 

“If it’s just a ring then take it off.” You shake your head no at him. “Take it off Y/N.” You shake your head no again and he stalks towards you, causing you to back up until the backs of your knees hit your bed. “Take off the fucking ring!” He’s yelling and you can feel the tears starting to pool in your eyes. He’s never gotten this crazy before and you can tell that this is the end of the two of you. 

“Lucas just go.” You're trying to hold back your tears, but when he tries to reach around to grab your hand you let out a sob. “Lucas, leave! Now!” 

He backs up, and for the first time that night you get a good look at his eyes. They are no longer the pools of honey you once found yourself getting lost in, their dark, like a black void, and he almost looks unrecognizable as he stands there. “You never truly loved me did you?.” 

His words cut through you, because you really did love him, and you thought he loved you. But someone who loves you would never treat you like he has you. “I loved you more than you’ll ever know, but clearly you’ve got some shit mixed up in your head to think that I didn’t.” 

“But you are always going to love Charles more Y/N. You can tell yourself it’s only platonic love, but we both know it’s not.” 

You wipe away your tears as you sit back down on the side of your bed, this was getting old. “I can’t do this anymore. Truly. I’ve tried to tell you how much you mean to me, but Charles is a part of my life and if you can’t deal with that,” You take a deep breath, scared for what's about to come out of your mouth. “Then maybe we should break up.” 

And for the first time that night Lucas doesn’t respond and you’re actually surprised that he doesn’t put up a fight. “Alright then I guess we are done.” When he doesn’t immediately leave and decides to squat down in front of you, you're confused. Especially when he wipes away your tears as his hand cups your cheek. “I never wanted us to end up like this, but I can’t share your heart with someone else.”

He should be screaming and instigating more arguing, not being gentle and loving. More tears fall down your cheeks as he presses a final kiss on your forehead before walking out your bedroom door. You can hear your parents greet him downstairs, what great timing for them to arrive home, and when the front door slams you’re surprised your Dad isn’t going after him. 

You’re immediately calling Charles and you don’t even have to speak, your sniffles and ragged breathing lets him know that you need him. As you hang up the phone you hear a gentle knock on your door and you see your Mom peek her head in, her heart breaking when she sees the state you’re in. “Oh my sweet girl.” 

“It’s over Mom.” You choke out between sobs. 

She does the only thing that she knows you need right now and just holds you, lets you get it all out as she runs her fingers through your hair. 

But seconds later you’re both greeted with an out of breath Charles standing in the middle of your room. Your tears subside for a moment, as you see him doubled over trying to catch his breath.

“Alright, I’m gonna leave you two be.” Your Mom gives you a reassuring kiss on the head before exiting your bedroom. 

Charles takes her spot next to you on your bed, his arm immediately pulling you into him. “Did you run here?” You ask as you rest your head on his shoulder. 

“Did you expect anything less when you called me crying?” He’s deadly serious when he says it, and you don’t know it, but he’d drop everything to come to your aid, no matter if you asked or not. You don’t answer him, but when you wrap your arms around his waist and basically tuck yourself into his side, he knows you appreciate him being here. “Am I wrong for thinking this has something to do with Lucas?” 

The tears start to fall again as the fight replays in your head. “We broke up.” Your words barely above a whisper, but Charles has no trouble hearing them, even over your sniffles. 

“Never liked that asshole anyways.” 

You rolled your eyes at Charles statement, lightly laughing because he was totally lying. “Don’t lie, you liked him, hell everyone liked him.” 

“Ever thought I am just a very good actor? He made you happy, so I just pretended to like him, for your sake.” 

“Wish you would have made your dislike of him known, maybe I wouldn’t be a hot mess on a Friday night right now.” A sigh escapes past your lips, the feeling of Charles gently rubbing circles on your side had started to soothe you. And you wished you could stay like this forever, wrapped up in his embrace. 

Charles doesn’t mean to pry, he knows you’ll tell him when you're ready, but he’s curious as to why the two of you had broken up, as far as he was concerned the two of you seemed happier than ever. But he wasn’t going to lie and say he wasn’t happy about the two of you breaking up, for reasons unknown to him yet. 

“You gonna tell me what happened?” 

Your grip on him tightens and he thinks if he let you, you’d be under his skin if it was possible. “He was jealous of you.” 

Charles feels his heartbeat quicken and he’s not sure why, but he does know he wants to hear the whole story. “And?” 

You know you’re going to start crying again, but it's Charles, you can tell him anything. So you take a deep breath and spill the beans.. “It started a couple months ago. He’d pick fights over stupid stuff at first and then it turned into stuff concerning you. I tried to just let it go and make sure he knew he was my number one priority. But tonight’s fight was the worst one yet and I just couldn’t handle it anymore. He was basically insulating that I loved you more than him and I tried to tell him it was only platonic love that I had for you, but he wasn’t convinced.” 

There’s a strange feeling that blooms in Charles' gut as your words hit his ears and it clouds his mind because he’s never had a feeling like this when he’s been around you. It’s foreign and it scares the shit out of him.

You hold back some information from Charles, mainly because you were still processing how you really feel about him. Trying to sort through what Lucas had planted into your brain and what might have already been there, left over from thirteen year old you. But your ring clad finger searches for his and when you feel the cool contrast of his ring, you wrap your pinky fingers together. “Do you think our friendship is normal Charlie?” 

He cocks an eyebrow at you, confused as to what you meant. “Where’s this coming from?” 

Your eyes never break away from your intertwined fingers, matching rings staring back at you. “Lucas said our friendship isn’t normal and basically the fact that we have matching rings isn’t normal either.” 

Now Charles' gaze is also on your rings and for a moment he thinks maybe it isn’t normal, but then he realizes this is your guys normal. So fuck what anyone else or Lucas thought about his friendship with you. “Think he might have been just pulling shit out of his ass at that point. Jealous that he doesn’t have anyone in his life like we do each other.” 

Charles' words do make you feel a little better, because you know no matter what you’ll always have each other and tonight is proof of that, but that doesn’t stop your still broken heart from showing.

“Still kind of made me feel like shit though, like he made it seem like I didn’t love him at all, when I clearly did. I mean god Charles he was my first date, first kiss, first everything. Even with how badly he had treated me these last couple months, we’re always gonna have that connection. How am I supposed to find someone like that again? Fuck. I mean he literally has a part of me that I’ll never get back.” 

And Charles can feel his heart tightening at your words, because you’re truly the most amazing girl he knows, and to know that Lucas treated you badly when all you deserve is the best awakens something in him. 

“I wish you could see how you look to me, how amazing you are. Yes, you have those connections with Lucas, but believe me when I say you aren’t going to have a problem finding someone else.” 

A small smile finds its way onto your face as you hear Charles speak. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” 

“I wouldn’t say anything that wasn’t true. You’re funny, kind, the best listener, and you’re so beautiful. Truly Y/N, anyone would be lucky to have you. And Lucas is clearly stupid for letting you go.” 

The blush on your cheeks probably looked like a bad sunburn with how much you were blushing and as you made eye contact with Charles you suddenly felt like that thirteen year old girl again. His green eyes burning into yours and when he tucks a stray piece of hair behind your ear you can’t help the butterflies that erupt in your stomach. And for a brief moment Charles had pushed your thoughts about Lucas to the back of your mind. 

He pulls you into a hug and if there is one place you feel the safest in the world, it’s in Charles arms. And when he whispers into your ear that everything is gonna be fine, you know it’s going to be, as long as you’ve got Charles in your life.

[readychilledwine]

Love In The Kennels

Eris Week - Day 2 - Childhood and Legacy

Summary - Loving her was the easiest thing Eris had ever done, and a surprise meeting with his "least favorite" Illyrians let's him relive that.

Warnings - Formal dog breeding terms and briefly touched mentions of it, sexual tension, Beron being creepy, Liz's headcanon that Autumn is mote feral, therefore females have heat cycles, childhood friends to lovers, mutual pinning, mentions of fxf smut, mentions of injuries, possibly missed errors

A/N - Happy Day two of @erisweekofficial! I've had his hidden in my docs since Eris week last year, but I was so nervous to post it dur to the formating. It seems that wasn't a huge issue. A heads up, this is very similar to my Tarquin x reader Runaway Love fic. There are italized moments that are flashbacks as Eris and Artemis tell the batboys their story. I also took some inspiration from my absolute favorite Eris fanfiction in how Eris and Artemis constantly say each other's names back and forth. It is almost 6k words, so maybe grab a snackie?

Ps - can you guess with children's princess movie I based their relationship off of?

🍂Eris Week Masterlist🍂Eris Masterlist🍂Master Masterlist🍂

Dividers by @tsunami-of-tears

Eris needed to get Rhysand and his hounds to leave his cabin, and quickly. The sun was starting to set, and Eris knew his wife would be returning home soon. He had come too far to risk her. He already had too much hiding in this cabin due to this surprise interrogation. She was not something he was willing to put at stake. 

"The hour grows late, Rhysand," Eris paused as one of his hounds stood and began to pace at the door. "I believe we can discuss this at our next scheduled meeting."

Rhysand smirked in front of him, noting the way Eris passively stated he was not thrilled about their sudden appearance. "So eager to get rid of us, Eris? I thought you wanted our help." 

The heir of Autumn scoffed slightly as he continued to watch his hounds growing anxious with the excitement of their mother coming home. "I do," he said calmly. "I just do not wish to discuss this topic at length again."

"The topic of how you left Mor for dead in the woods?" Eris found himself raising a brow at Azriel as he spoke. "I do not believe the shit you fed Nesta and I would like to hear it in person."

Eris rolled his eyes and froze as the first whine happened. Rhys turned to the 3 hounds Eris had brought into the cabin with him. All three of them wagged their tails, constantly readjusting their paws on the wooden floors and staring up at the door. "Are you expecting company, Eris?" Rhys watched as Eris's jaw tightened. Another whine came. It was followed by a sad huff as the male hound lay on the ground.

Eris moved to the cabin door, all three hounds perking up as he did so, "Do not jump. Am I understood?" The smoke hounds whined as he gave them his serious father-like face. "Go." He opened the door, and Azriel watched in silence as the three of them quickly took off into the clearing and waited at the center of it.

"I didn't leave Mor. I caught her in the middle of-" Eris paused thinking of how to word his story to the male who had chased after his ex fiancé for years. "I caught her in the throes of passion with one of my friends. When I asked Morrigan about it, she told me her preferences sexually leaned towards females. We made an agreement. She fucks someone to get out of the marriage, I fake outrage, she's free." Eris looked out into the clearing. The beer he had been nursing appeared in his hands as he waited and watched.

"We hadn't planned on what to do once Keir found out. We figured she'd be sent off to whoever she fucked and then be done with it. When she showed up with the letter nailed into her and beaten, I tried to get her to let me help. I offered to bring her here then get her to the Winter Court. I offered to help. She refused." Eris felt the shift in the clearing and saw his wife and mate off in the distance. 9 other hounds began to howl and whine appearing from out of nowhere before rushing her.

"What is happening out there?" Cassian moved the window by Eris. "Who is that?"

"My wife." Eris said plainly. "I left Mor after getting her to a place she knew you'd be able to find her, Azriel. I waited until you had her to leave. If you didn't come to get her, I was going to bring her here, to a safe cabin, until we could figure something out. Even if she hated me for it.”

Azriel and Rhys had also moved to the window in shock. The last part of Eris's story was buzzing in Azriel's ears as soon as his eyes landed on the figure of the female in the clearing. She was the one who had healed Cassian after he was gutted. The Autumn Court healer they couldn't find to thank. She was laughing as she was being chased around in her burgundy dress, dark hair flowing in the wind as she did. She was holding a bag up from the dogs as they jumped to try to grab it.

Eris sighed softly before moving to the door and reopening it. "No jumping! Let your mother come inside. Don't you all have rabbits to chase?" The hounds all slowly disburse as she patted their heads one by one. The three that had been in the house flanked her. Protecting her as she bounced up the steps to the cabin.

"Hello sugar," Eris said softly. "We have company." He watched her make a small face and laughed slightly before taking her hand. 

"I'm mad at you," she said. She moved inside as he stood and processed the sentence. "High Lord. High Lord's friends." She greeted them softly before moving into the kitchen. 

"Artemis?"

"Eris?' 

Cassian chuckled slightly at the two of them as he watched Eris narrow his eyes at the female. "What exactly did I do to earn your anger?"

"Well, Husband," Rhys laughed this time at the sarcastic tone she was using. "Shall we start with the fact that you left me with your father all day, hmmmm?" She rose a brow at him and set her hand on the counter before also placing one on her hip.

"Or shall we start with the fact that I've been tugging this useless bond for HOURS begging you to come save me? And then I finally get to come home, after your father questioned me about everything under the Gods damned sun, by the way, and I find you drinking beer and having a grand old time."

Azriel covered laughter with a cough as he watched the Autumn female’s chestnut waves dance with every bob and move of her head. She clearly wasn't actually angry with Eris. Just very annoyed. He watched as she slammed down the bag she had been carrying.  

"And to really top it off, husband."

"Please, do top it off, wife." Cassian threw his head back at Eris leaning in the doorway with a smirk. “You know I do adore you topping things.”

The female Artemis gave a serpent like smile before cocking her head, deep chocolate eyes playfully glaring at Eris, “When you do finally tug back, it's to ask me to break into your father's office-" She pauses motioning to the bag. "And copy all of THIS!" 

Azriel's wings flared as she pulled out copies of the paperwork the Night Court had asked for. He walked to the table instantly, maintaining eye contact with the beautiful female in front of him. "The only reason you are alive right now, Eris-"

"Oh fuck, tell me why I'm alive, Artemis." Eris had grown slightly predatory as the Illyrians slowly realized the husband and wife were flirting with each other.

"The only reason I did not slit your throat when I walked through the door," she paused giggling slightly at Cassian's shocked face as Eris groaned and smiled, "is because that one," she pointed to Azriel, "is handsome and I do not wish for him to see that side of me. Plus your cock serves some purpose. Maybe.”

Cassian lost all composure then, a loud laugh seeming to shake the small cabin they were in as Eris's jaw fell, not realizing she would be so bold in front of the other males in the room. Artemis was rarely subtle though, her freckled face had subtitles. Something Eris had to remind her of frequently when she'd make looks of disgust openly.

"Artemis."

"Eris?"

"I love you." The laughter in the cabin stopped as Eris moved to his wife and kissed the top of her head. "And I'm sorry I wasn't there today."

She continued glaring at the papers in front of her, "You should have let one of them stab you. I might have had sympathy then."

"I could not allow that to happen, wife," Eris said into her hair, "We put knife play on the exclusive to us list.”

She smirked softly before turning to Cassian. "You healed nicely, general."

Cassian made a confused face as he tried to place how he knew her. "Have we met?"

"She's the healer who stitched you shut and spent herself magically so you'd heal as quickly as possible." Rhys said softly looking over the papers again. "Then she disappeared, never to be seen again."

"I didn't disappear. I went back to hiding. My oh so lovely high lord did not clear me to come. My arrogant husband refused to have a cold bed, though." Eris nodded from behind her, sipping his beer again. "He snuck me into you, though. Now I know why." 

They watched as she turned and placed a hand on Eris's chest. "I am so proud of you, husband." Eris's smile dropped as she smirked ferally at him. "Who would have known you were capable of making friends?" Eris shut his eyes and bit his inner lip to stop the laughter threatening to spill out. 

"Gods why did I marry you?" He looked up to the ceiling. "Wicked, cruel, ruthless little thing you are."

"You sir," she finished pulling out the copies of documents Eris hadn't asked her to steal but she had anyway and handed them to Azriel, "Are the one who forced me into a drunken bargain and then sabotaged my relationships to ensure I would have to marry you."

Cassian opened four more beers as the female poured herself wine. "Now this is a story I need to hear." He settled next to her after handing the beers to the other males. "What exactly happened, little fox? I want to know everything about you and our dear friend, Eris."

Eris growled as Cassian stared down at his wife. "Everything? It all started when Eris and I were like 8."

"I was 12. You were 8." Eris corrected. "We had gone to her family's home. They breed hounds and rumors lead us to believe they had smoke hounds. Beron had beat me for the first time and a puppy was his apology.”

"Artemis!" The young female faeling froze as her father yelled her name. "You need to go bathe, child. The high lord is coming with his son."

Artemis was sitting in the kennel with the new litter of smoke hounds her dog had just birthed almost a month ago. She was covered in dirt, and had fur all over her leggings and tunic she wore while cleaning and working with the hounds. 

"Papa! Look at what Scout can do!" She allowed the largest of the male dog to sniff her hand before leaving the kennel and hiding the fabric she was holding in another hounds enclosure. She had dug it deep into the hay and dirt and scent of that hound. 

Unknown to her, The High Lord and his son had appeared and were watching as her mother and father apologized profusely. "Scout!" She yelled from the hallway. "Find it!" 

Beron watched in silence as a male puppy exited the kennel he was in, sniffing the ground the little female had run all over before locking in on a specific trail. His tail was straight up, shoulders, neck, and head low as he slowly made his way to the part of the run she was nowhere near.  He sat and indicated that he had found what he was looking for by barking once as his tail began to wag swiftly.

"I believe we know which hound we want. Your daughter made that quite easy. Right, Eris?" The high lord looked down at his son to find he had locked eyes with the female near his age. Something the princeling wasn't used to.

"Papa?" The girl hid behind her father. "Can I go hide?" Artemis had never seen another child. Not in the seclusion of their farm on the outskirts. 

The master of the kennel shut his eyes and whispered another apology. "Of course, baby. I'm sorry. She's not used to seeing anyone other than her mother and I. She's not normally out here when we handle sales. She's very shy."

'So she doesn't want to play?" Eris did the best he could to hide his sadness. He crossed his small arms and hands in front of him. 

"I am not sure, my Prince." The older male kneeled down and pointed to the little shed near the kennels. "She probably ran in there. If you'd like to ask. The high lord and I have some paperwork to go over."

"So fucking Eris, comes into my playshed. Without knocking. And asks if I want to play with him. Guess how he responded when I said no?"

Eris smirked, "I commanded her to."

Azriel was invested in the story deeply. He sat and was leaning his head on one hand as Rhys and Eris also took a step and got comfortable. This was the exact information Azriel had actually wanted. Eris in his most intimate moments. The Eris only Cassian and Nesta had grown to know.

"Then she called me a bully. We played for hours. In the creek. In the kennels. In the flower beds. Your mother's food garden."

"Is that when you struck the bargain," Rhysand asked. “Children have been known to do that by accident.”

Eris shook his head. "We were closer to 50 when that happened. We became rivals after we met right away. I couldn't train the hounds the way she could."

"I couldn't use a bow the way he could"

"I had no healing magic the way she did."

"My fire Magic skills weren't coming in as quickly due to my half dawn court heritage."

"She had higher marks in school."

"He had more friends."

"Our birthdays were the same day."

"Our names both have origins with the Gods and we were teased for it."

"She's always been beautiful. I was an ugly brat."

"Accurate." Eris flipped her off and she blew him a kiss.

Rhys paused looking at the two of them. "So you two hated each other?"

She nodded while he shook his head. "I've loved her since we were children. I just wished she'd teach me the things she could do that I couldn't."

"I hated him," she said boldly, causing a rare laugh to come from the shadowsinger. "That was our childhood, though. A constant back and forth of competition."

Eris sighed softly, "And then I realized I wanted her when I had turned 54, and she was 50. We were at a stupid ball my father was throwing in her honor since our families became very close due to the hounds."

Artemis laughed as Eris twirled her again. Her dress swished behind her as he did so.  Eris had not allowed another male besides his and her father near her all evening. He had told her it was because it was technically both of their birthdays and what kind of male would he be if he allowed another male the opportunity to dance with the most beautiful female in the room. 

Their friendship, if one would or could call it that, had become tense as they approached adulthood. Their hormones from their teenage years had left them both burning for each other. Not that Artemis would ever admit that.

She curtsied as he bowed at the song's end, "Eris."

"Artemis." He immediately interrupted her in the same fashion he always did when she said his name. 

"Can we get a drink, please?" Eris took in her flushed face, her labored breathing. He had her out here for almost two hours now without a rest break or beverage. 

"Of course, my lady." He offered her his arm as they made their way to the wine table. "Have you had wine yet, or will this be your first time?"

"My first time. What do you suggest, my prince?" Eris handed her the Autumn court golden wine saved for celebrations and special occasions.

"Shall we?" He held his glass to hers.

"We shall." Eris and Artemis drank way too much that night. Giggling and joking with each other as their ambitions fell to none.

They stared off the balcony at the dark orchard in front of them, "Make me a deal, Artemis."

"Depends on what it is, Eris."

The heir smirked at the hiccup in her voice as she leaned into him. They were so far gone. Drunk on each other, happiness, and wine. "If I am not married by say….. 550, let's marry each other."

Artemis paused suddenly sober on his shoulder as they turned to face each other. "What do I get out of that?"

"Me?" The heir seemed offended as he stared at her. "A higher station? All the pretty dresses you could want?"

She scoffed lightly. "My family has the second highest station in this court. My father is your father's right hand. My brothers both have high positions in your armies and command their own legions." She turned back to the Forest. "What of love, Eris? What do you have to offer me there?"

The heir paused before moving to cage her body between him and the balcony. She felt so right in his arms. Like she was made for him. "I can promise you you'll never be alone. That you will feel safe and wanted every day. That you would be my equal in every way. We would make any decisions we needed to make together." He took a deep breath and started again. 

"I can promise to warm you bed, magically sugar, every night so you are never cold. That you will be showered with gifts, compliments, and treats." She hummed at the mention of sweets, causing Eris to chuckle. "I promise to take you to every court. To always dance with you."

She whispered softly again. "But what of love, Eris?"

He leaned into her ear, knowing she would not remember the soft confession he was about to whisper to her. "I have loved you since we were children, Artemis. And I will love you long after this world takes its last breath." 

She sealed the bargain by crashing her lips onto his. Their first kiss. It was sloppy. Messy. Tasted heavily of honeyed wine, but Eris was too happy to turn it away as matching leaves appeared on both of them.

"I had no clue what the fuck this was from. I was absolutely wasted," Artemis said as she held her left ring finger up. A small fall colored leaf graced the skin right above her wedding band and engagement ring. "He had to tell our families what happened the next morning."

"Father beat me for weeks after that." Eris shrugged as Azriel's jaw dropped. "Fuck him."

Cassian pulled her small hand closer to his face, "Your bargain tattoos look so life like?" Rhys undid the glamour he had on his own Autumn court bargain. An acorn stood out, clear as day, on the wrist joint.

"It's honestly become my favorite." The high lord admitted. "I have never had a seasonal court bargain. I find it unique that their's are symbols instead of runes spelling the conditions."

"I want one." Cassian said. "We'll think of something." He pointed to Eris, who laughed softly.

Azriel was the only one deeply confused as he listened to the love story between Eris and Artemis. One would almost describe his investment as childlike wonder as he flicked his eyes back and forth between the two of them.  "So you were in love with her the whole time?" Eris nodded to the shadowsinger. "So why didn't you just marry her?"

"Because his engagement to Morrigan was a- interesting hangnail that left lingering tensions. Even after he told my parents what happened."  Sadness was clear in her voice, “That whole thing was a shit show.”

"You contributed to that, my love."

The three illyrians snapped their heads back to the Autumn Court Female. Flush had spread across her chest and cheeks. "I didn't exactly know what she meant when she asked me if I wanted to try that, Eris. She offered a demonstration, I innocently said yes."

"This is true. You did say "penis" to me once before you learned bedroom talk." Cass covered his mouth as she sighed and stared at Eris.

"You're making it sound like we have tons of sex when that's never happened. I said it as a joke, not realizing the real joke was the use of the word "penis." She glared at Eris.

"You two haven't?" 

"Nope," They said together.

"Contraceptives do not work on Autumn Court females. Our blood burns too hot. I won't risk it until his father kicks the bucket."

Azriel looked at her, "So you fucked Mor instead?"

"Um-" She began to blush again. "I let her do things after we had discussed how I had never done said things. Yes."

"And then I walked into her guest room thinking I was about to kill some male for touching her, and guess who's there instead with her head buried between my mate's thighs? Morrigan." Eris chugged his beer before grabbing another. "Guess who hasn't gotten to be between his mate's thighs? Eris."

"Cry me a river, Vanserra."

Eris responded by raising a single finger to his wife. Rhys interrupted their impending flirting, "So we know what happened with Morrigan? What led to this?" He motioned to their rings.

"I began to sabotage every relationship she had. Anytime I found out a male was trying to court her, I dueled them, threatened their station, their business, their lives. Or I'd just simply invite myself on her dates." Eris shrugged as he switched to the scotch he hid for special occasions. Everyone had moved to the living room, Eris holding Artemis tight by his side. 

"I disappeared for a hundred years though to be transparent," she said softly. Eris hummed before kissing her head. 

"You had a valid reason, sugar."

"Eris, please," Artemis was pleading with the male as she braided her long hair. "I really like him."

"He enjoys your company as well." Eris paused as he took in her cream dress and tall dark leather boots. "And by that, I mean your tits. It's all he would talk about at training today." She sighed softly. Eris moved to help her finish her braid.

The scent of toasted sugar and roses clung to her like a second skin now that she had gone through her first heat, and it slapped him in the face. He growled softly in her ear, and she whimpered back. Leaning her head over, she exposed her neck to Eris. "Sugar," he growled in warning.

Protecting her in the Forest House had been nearly impossible during her heats. His brothers and father had nearly slaughtered each other while he stood guard with her brothers. 

The bond snapped when he took her in food the second day of that long week. She had been naked in a hot bath, whimpering softly as she desperately tried to ignore the pain growing between her legs and in her stomach.  It was a curse only Autumn females experienced. It was a plague to ensure the population stayed high here.

That scent became a warning. He used to dread the first signs of it. Now, years later, it was one of Eris's favorite things. He'd drown in her scent if she'd just allow him to.

"You smell delicious, little bunny," he whispered into her ear. He watched with feral eyes as her breath hitched. "When is your next heat?" She whimpered as his large hands took her hips in them. Grabbing the skin there. Massaging softly.

"It's not supposed to be for another week," He hummed as his mouth grazed the shell of her dedicated pointed ear. He ignored her words, nipping softly at the pointed top. "Eris, please. I need to get ready."

"No, you don't," he paused. "You can stay here and read with me. We can head back to your family estate and check the new litter early. You do not have to go on this date with this unworthy male."

Eris paused as a knock came on her door and went to hide in her closet. He nodded for her to open the door once he warded his scent and sound from whomever was entering the room.

"Enter," she said softly as she began applying soft makeup. "Oh, High Lord, what a pleasant surprise."

Eris watched as his father studied Artemis. "Are you going somewhere, dear one?"

"One of the generals is taking me on a walk, my lord," she replied softly.

"You really must learn to aim higher, Lady Artemis. A general? You could be pursued by much higher ranks."

"I am sorry. I do not know what you mean?" Eris watched as his father walked slowly to his mate. He held back a growl as the hand that had beaten him countless times touched her delicate face.

"You can do much better, Artemis. Surely you know my bed is always open to you." He watched as Artemis looked at his father in shock. "You have come to realize why we keep you here during your heat cycles, haven't you, dear girl?  It's in hopes of one of my sons, or I, will put a babe inside of you."

"You wish to make me your whore?" Artemis whispered softly.

"I wish to make you my son's wife, but if the idiot will not take you himself, so I see nothing wrong with another of us trying." Beron touched her neck and collarbone gently. "You smell like your heat is about to set in. Think about my offer, pretty girl."

"I never went on a date that night." Azriel was stiff across from her. His hand clutched. Artemis reached over and held his scarred hand in hers.

"She never went on a date ever again after that. She winnowed home without saying goodbye." Eris found his hand absentmindedly rubbing circles on his wife's back. "I hunted her down before we all ended up under the mountain. The bargain timing was coming to a close. I asked her to marry me in secret the night before we all fell into her trap."

"Artemis," she felt her skin erupt into goosebumps as a familiar voice rang through the smoke hound kennel. "Ah, there you are."

Eris watched as she stood slowly, a pup in her arms, "Eris." 

You realize we are both unwed and our birthday is in 2 weeks. Correct?"

Artemis closed her eyes, "I can't go back there, Eris."

"So you'd rather we both die?"

"I've always been fine with you dying." Eris chuckled softly from the spot he stood at as she presented the pup she was holding to him. "This is Archie.  She's proving to be a wonderful hunter."

Eris took the pup from her arms and held her. "She has a wonderful build," he examined her carefully. Checking her ears, teeth, eyes. "Who are her bitch and sire?"

Artemis motioned towards the kennel, "Rammie and Rainy." Eris nodded. "She comes from a long line of prize-winning hunters. We picked the two of them to go together after buying out the last other breeder. Less inbreeding among their stock now is making an interesting change."

"Congratulations on the success. We're getting married tonight in secret." Eris dropped the bomb casually on her as he continued to scratch the pup behind her ears. "This little beauty shall be my wedding present."

"You have got to be joking," Artemis said slowly. "No."

"Yes. I do not intend to die over a decision we foolishly made when we were drunk. Get ready and meet me in an hour, or I'll drag you there in your leggings and tunic."

"For all you know," she pointed to the hounds in the kennel, "They were a courting present from the kennelmaster of-."

Eris laughed lightly. "Not his style, princess. He would have just stolen you. Get ready. Now."

"So you two married in silence?" Azriel looked between them. "And you didn't even get to have a mating ceremony or honeymoon because of her. Did you go with him under the mountain?"

Artemis pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. "No," she said softly. "Eris kept me here. I-" She looked up and sighed softly. "The bond hadn't snapped for me. So, I spent 50 years trying to help maintain Autumn with the fewlordss that were left. I regret not going."

"I don't regret leaving you here," Eris ran a hand through her hair, pulling her back into his chest. "She would have killed you."

Rhys nodded slowly, "I wasn't the only one Amarantha played with," the high lord sighed. "If she would have known Eris had a wife, a mate nonetheless, she would have had Artemis pulled under the mountain and her womb ripped out in front of Eris."

Cassian felt sympathy set in for Eris. "So, when did the bond snap?"

The couple both smiled. "When he came home," her eyes were on him and him alone as he raised her hand, kissing it.

Artemis was cleaning kennels as she prepared for her newest litter. There wasn't much she could do as the Autumn thunderstorm raged on outside. She had hoped cleaning kennels would take her mind off her husband, but it hadn't. 

She sighed softly at the amount of hounds she currently had.  They had wonderful lives. They were enriched, allowed to roam, trained, well fed. It just broke her heart not to see a Vanserra or other noble laying claim to them, though. She had sent a few over the border to Spring once. Lucien had almost cried with joy as the three pups found him. She had sent them with his favorite Autumn treats and her love. Lucien sent her frequent updates on them until they passed.

Eris had approached her slowly, rain dripping down his face and hair as he froze at the sight of her. He wanted nothing more than to see his wife, his mate. She was deep in thought as she picked up blankets and put them in a basket to change them out. 

"I know, baby," she leaned down and patted one of the hounds. "You're almost there. Let momma get you some new water and blankets.'"She moved to pick up the basket, looking down as she turned towards where Eris stood. He cleared his throat softly, wanting her attention but not wanting to startle her. 

Artemis looked up instantly at the noise.  They locked eyes the second she did. Tears began to fall down her cheeks as she stood in silence before dropping the basket.

She ran to him. Jumping in his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist. Their lips were on each other instantly. He kissed her deeply as the rain poured on them. 

Her hands tangled in his hair. She knew she was crying. But she couldn't bring herself to care. She had missed him. Missed his laugh, his voice, his hands. And Gods, after 50 years apart, she knew. She knew without a shadow of doubt that she was truly, madly, and deeply in love with Eris.

"Eris," she whispered. She opened her eyes, looking into his again. Then she felt it. She felt her gravity shift. Her heartbeat quickened, then slowed. She felt a deep snap radiating through her, and a sob tore through her. "Mate."

Eris let out the soft sob he was holding back. "Mate. I love you."

"I love you," she repeated. He carried her like that into her parent's home where their families waited for them.

Eris had told his parents the second they arrived home in Autumn of the bond. He wanted to truly marry her in front of the whole court.  Their fathers had agreed instantly. This benefitted Beron, and for her father, it put Eris one step closer to ending the tyranny. 

Azriel truly looked like a child right now. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees as he rested his chin on his hands. "And now we're here?"

Eris nodded, "And now we're here." Cassian watched as Eris kissed Artemis's ring and softly whispered that he loved her. 

Rhys was processing everything slowly. "But Nesta?" He finally said.

Artemis laughed lightly as Eris smirked, "If you're going to dangle a treat in my face, Rhysand, I'm going to try to take it. She would have had to settle for being my consort."

Artemis shrugged, "Or my wife. I technically only have a husband."

Cassian started laughing again. "Oh Mother, if you can survive Eris for almost 500 years, I cannot imagine you and Ness together."

"We got along fine when she sat with me while I healed you. We like the same books, wine, and both enjoy long baths."

Cassian looked at her. "You're the one she keeps asking about then." Artemis looked shocked at Cassian. "She doesn't have a lot of friends."

"Because she's blunt and abrasive? That's why I liked her." Artemis shrugged. "She would have fit in well here. Also-" She turned to Rhysand and smiled. "We're even."

The high lord nodded, "So you don't want me to bring you thousands of gifts?" Eris growled slightly looking at the High Lord.

"She receives PLENTY of gifts. Thank you."

"You could bring me Lucien," she whispered softly. "I miss him."

“Or kill my father,” Eris muttered silently. “Then she could have her baby.”

Artemis released a dreamy sigh, “A little baby to grow with all the love in the world. No Beron. No violence. A new beginning.”

Azriel held up the papers she brought. A silent confirmation that was what they were for. Eris only looked at her, continuing to drink his beer. She knew now. Knew the dangerous reason the 3 of them were here. 

“So the legacy begins,” she turned to Eris. “You're ready for things to change?”

Eris only nodded, “I'm ready for change.”

“Then change we will make,” Artemis said as if he was the only being in the room. He was the only one that mattered to her now. She stared at him in pride for a moment before turning to the shadowsinger and pulling out one last paper she had hidden in the corseted bodice. “A map. Of the Forest House.”

The males all moved to the table as she unfolded it, and the discussion began, Artemis at Eris's side. Their future was the only thing on her mind. The new era that her mate would bring to Autumn. 

It was time for the narrative to change. 

And Artemis knew Eris was a world shaker.

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria @fandomrejects @sleepybesson @tayswhp @itsswritten @milswrites @littlest-w01f

[bibbityboppitybillyharvgrove]

Matilda- B.Barnes

Summary: Bucky finally realizes the alarming way his wife was treated by her family.

Pairings: Husband!Bucky x Wife!Reader

Fic Warnings: Mentions of reader thinking she isn’t good enough, mistreatment of reader, Bucky being a good husband, Fem!reader, use of Y/N

Author’s Note: This is a slight AU, the Sokovia Accords never happened, Infinity War and Endgame never happened. Nat, Tony and Steve are very much still around(but they aren’t mentioned). If you have any feedback please feel free to leave it. I’m not feeling great about this but I’m trying to get back into writing. This is based off of Matilda by Harry Styles.

My full Masterlist

Hope you enjoy! :)

Word Count: 960

gif not mine

How Bucky never realized that his wife was mistreated as a child, is beyond him. It was like the neglect was staring him right in the face but he never realized it, never noticed the pain behind her eyes. She never really spoke about her family and if she did it was very brief and vague. He finally started to notice when they were holding a house party, their kids were there, their friends, really everyone they knew. Bucky had reached out to the very little living family he had, his great niece Winnie was more than willing to come, she was the only living family he had.

The night before the party, Bucky had asked if she had invited her family and he finally noticed the sadness that flashed in her eyes. Because this was going to be a serious conversation, Bucky was quick to usher the kids to bed so that they could discuss her family alone, without the fear of upsetting their kids. Their son, Stevie was quick to get into bed, only settling when Bucky planted a kiss on his forehead, and their daughter, Sarah, was a little more fussy but once Bucky gave her a warning look, she quickly settled before getting a forehead kiss as well.

After Bucky was sure the kids were okay and asleep, he went back to the living room where he left his wife. She was sitting on the edge of their bay window, staring out at the street even though it was dark out. He walked closer to the window, making his steps more pronounced than he usually does so he doesn’t scare her. Once he got to the window, he sat across from Y/N, who had a vacant look in her eyes. The same eyes that were always sparkling with love and happiness, now held sadness and desperation.

“You wanna talk about what’s bothering you?” Bucky asked her, voice quiet and cautious. They sat in silence for a few minutes before she started speaking.

“I was never good enough for them, no matter what I did, it wasn’t enough. I had a 4.0 gpa in high school but it wasn’t good enough, I could’ve had a 5.0 if I took AP classes. I don’t think they ever showed up to anything. It never bothered me before, it wasn’t a big deal but once we had the kids, it hurt. It hurt because they never showed me the love we show our kids. I wasn’t loved as a child, never nurtured, never cared for.” It was silent again for another minute, Bucky was still trying to process what she had just said before she added more. “I’m not even sorry for not inviting them, I’m just sorry that I left so early, I was only 16 when I moved out. I just want to understand why they didn’t show me love. I feel like there’s a piece of me, of my soul, that’s just dead because of my childhood and how I was treated.”

Bucky beckoned her closer to him so she inched her way closer to her husband. Even though they were touching, it wasn’t enough for Bucky, so he pulled her onto his lap. Her legs on either side of his hips, her arms around his shoulders, hands mindlessly playing with his hair. He grabbed her chin gently between his thumb and forefinger making her look into his eye.

“You don’t have to be sorry. Even if they never showed you love, you created it. Right here, in this house, in your soul. I love you with every single fiber of my being and I can assure you Stevie and Sarah do too. You make this house a home, you make our family a loving one. You are the most important part of my life. It is all you, Y/N. Who cares that you didn’t get a 5.0? I am so incredibly proud of you and the person you have become in the years we’ve been together. Now, let’s go make some tea and your favorite nighttime snack and talk more. That sound okay?” She nodded to her husband, but not before kissing his lips lovingly. In response, he peppered kisses all over her face until he heard his favorite sound in the world, her laugh. “My favorite sound,” He chuckled before continuing his assault.

By the time the two had separated, had tea and a nighttime snack, Bucky was completely filled in on her childhood. Now he understood why she went above and beyond for their family, now he knew why she was so gentle with the kids. It all made sense to him, but now he knew to take his time loving his wife, showing her the love that she never got as a kid, the love she completely deserved. The two of them ended up falling asleep on the couch that night, talking until they were too tired to go to their room.

The next morning it was as if a boulder was lifted off of her shoulders. Y/N had a pep in her step, the sparkle in her eyes was back, her smile was wider than it had been since their wedding day and the birth of their troublesome twins. Bucky was happy to show her the love she deserved. Their friends became the family she deserved. She now happily said she had a very loving family, that was always there for her and she was always there for them. She had let her biological family go and chose her found family, that found family was her forever family. People that would kill for her and people that she would kill for, and Bucky couldn’t be happier.

[dreamydrifts]

hear me out, a one shot of Charles x Reader based on Casual by Chappell Roan.

I personally having been listening to Casual on repeat for the pass couple days and I am in the mood to cry and be upset, idk why but I feel like this song is very charles coded, maybe that’s just me, but yeah that’s my idea!

-🦥

note 💌: anon you made me obsessed with this song, ever since you wrote this request, i started listening to it. i literally cried while making this, so i hope this feeds your delulu soul and heart, and yes the song is so charles coded🫶🏻

--------------------------------------------------------------

romeo, come and save me | charles leclerc

pairing: charles leclerc x reader | genre: estaished relationship | warning: angst, smut (a bit), minors dni | word count: 1.3k

[ BACK TO MASTERLIST ]

Living in Monaco could be considered everyones dream, and it surely was yours. Every weekend, one of the drivers would host a part at their house, or in the biggest clubs in the country. That's where you found yourself talking to several of them and even hooking up.

Tonight you were in Charles Leclercs bed, with the pretext of "no attachments". You were moaning out his name as he was eating you out like there was no tomorrow. Gripping his hair as he continued to lick and suck. You knew he was bad for you, but the moment your lips touched, it's like everything you knew was forgotten.

The weekend after, he was eating you out in the backseat of his car, not even waiting to arrive home with you. You liked it, you couldn't lie, but you hoped that this time it wasn't just to help him leave the stress out before the race. He was like a drug and you were addicted to him. He was angry, you would help. He was happy, you would be there. But if someone asked what the two of you were, his answer would always be "We're just friends"

Sooner than you expected, you found yourself being in a relationship with him, but to say the least it didn't meet your expectations. Charles was distant and when he was there you barely talked. Now you were getting ready to have dinner with his parents. Finishing doing your hair, you walked into the living room to find him.

"Charles, do you really want me to go?" You asked seeing that he didn't even bother to look at you. He got up, kissing you without even looking at you. He kissed you, thinking that it would fix everything.

"I think it's better that we don't go..." You sight, pulling away, looking at him not feeling in the mood to lie to his parents about your relationship.

Charles sighed, he didn’t know what to do, he loved you. He just didn’t want to admit it. He looked at you, his eyes filled with emotion. Seeing that you didn’t want to lie he agreed. "It’s best we don’t go." He replied walking back to the sofa, picking up his phone and getting distracted by a text message from a girl.

The moment he looked at his phone, you knew that he was talking to another girl. Your best friend warned you about him, but you didn't listen, hoping that you can change him. You decided to go back to your room, not wanting to be in his presence longer than needed. Since the two of you decided not to go to his parents house, now you had to take your make up off which you have been working on for hours. Not only, he was talking to someone else while he was dating you, but he seemed happier.

He noticed that you were heading to the room, after a little debate with himself, he followed you, hoping you didn't know about the text message. "Where are you going?" He asked stopping you from going in.

"Home." You said looking away not wanting to meet his gaze. "I'm going home."

Feeling that this was about to be a discussion, he grabbed your wrist with one hand not letting you go. "No you’re not" He said his voice sounding firm almost angry but his eyes had a sense of hurt and sadness in them.

"Yes i am, i can't do this...anymore." You said sitting down on the couch. "I can't..." You keep looking away, trying to keep yourself from crying. "We act like we are strangers and then pretend to be in love for a minute...it's killing me..." Finally you let a tear escape your eyes.

He listened, his grip got tighter when he heard you wanting to go and when you started crying he pulled you into his arms hugging you tight. "You’re not going anywhere." He said, his tone now a bit kinder but a lot more protective as he brushed your hair from your face.

"Yes i am...we've been fucked up for a long time...this has to stop." You looked at him with a face full of tears, which was getting redder and redder. "All we do is lie..."

Even though he disagreed with you, he knew that it was the truth, but that didn’t mean he wanted to lose you. "No." He said shaking his head, still holding you tightly. He didn’t want to lose you at all. Even though you both were lying to each other he still felt as if you were the main purpose in his life. It was a selfish thought but he couldn’t help it.

"Yes..." You said looking at him and then away to wipe your tears. "We aren't even that close anymore..."

Charles stayed silent, he couldn’t handle the truth. All the times he avoided you, all the times he talked to another girl, all the times he lied all came crashing down on him and he wished he had done things differently. "We can fix everything." He said still holding you, not wanting to lose you, not wanting the person he loved to leave him. "I’ll be better I promise.."

"I know about her..." You said reffering to the girl he has been seeing and talking to for the past few weeks.

He froze, he felt a pang of guilt hit his chest. He didn’t expect you to know about her. After a few seconds he spoke not looking at you. "She was just a distraction.. she means nothing, I just wanted to forget things."

"Forgetting about us?...about me?" You looked away, not being prepared to face the truth. "Sure, she does...that's why you smile at her texts...are happy...unlike with me...when you act like i'm a ghost..."

He stayed silent, he didn’t want to answer that. He knew that when you talked about how he acted with the other girl that it was the truth. He knew that he acted different and happy with the other girl, unlike you. His gaze dropped to the floor. He was scared of losing you. "I’m sorry it will stop, I’ll stop" He said, trying to make it seem as if he really meant that, as if you could believe him.

"No, this has to stop..." You said showing to you and him, getting up finally ready to go to the room that the two of you share. One last time you wipe your tears, finally going upstairs.

He looked at you with sadness, he didn’t want you to go, but knew that he really messed things up a long time ago. He should have given his all to you, treated you better and been a better boyfriend. He tried one last time to get you to stay. "Please, stay."He said, trying his hardest to keep his emotions in check.

"Don't do this to me..." You said putting the clothes in the lagguage, wiping away your tears.

He sighed, he knew he didn’t have any other card to play. The moment you grabbed your things he knew that he really lost you, this time no excuses, no lies, no tricks, nothing could make you stay and he should have realized that sooner. "Fine, just tell me one thing." He said looking at you with sad eyes.

"What?" You looked at him with the lagguage in your hand, coming closer to him to hear him better.

He gulped, he hoped he was wrong but he had to ask the question. He didn’t want to but he just had to know. "Do.. do you still love me?" He asked, he didn't expect you to answer it honestly but he couldn't resist to ask the question. He knew that he was putting himself in a vulnerable position by asking such a bold question. He bit his lip out of nervousness.

"I never stopped." You whispered looking at the ground.

© DREAMYDRIFTS — do not translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.

[haechwrites]

wingwoman - L.MK

mark x fem!reader ft. jaemin

synopsis: mark has trouble pulling girls. he also has trouble understanding girls. this makes sense when he asks the best friend of his crush for help when it's blatantly obvious she's actually in love with him.

wc: ~9.5k

warnings: none??? unrequited love. mark is clueless. reader is a coward hehe. based in college. i say fem!reader bc they use she/her pronouns and refer to her as a "wingwoman," but honestly can be read as gender neutral?? ORIGINALLY WRITTEN IN FIRST PERSON, so ignore mistakes pls

A/N: my first published work woot woot i've had this written and sitting for so long. i love unrequited love and angst. this isn't that angsty but maybe if i get sad enough, i can write an angstier one! okay byeee

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“You like him, don’t you?”

The mayo from your sandwich made a cartoonish splat onto the plate at the end of his question. Your head snapped over, looking at Jaemin incredulously for his unexpected inquiry. You were in the middle of a lovely meal with Mark in between classes. When Jaemin sat down to join halfway, You didn’t expect him to have an agenda in mind. You placed your sandwich down and checked to see how far Mark had gotten before you could speak. He had lost a round of rock, paper, scissors and was sent to buy drinks.

“What are you talking about?” You cleared your throat of whatever was left of your lunch. You knew exactly who and what he was talking about but you prayed it was something else. You didn’t want to have this discussion. Things could be laid out on this table that you're not yet ready to process, and not with Jaemin of all people. It’s not like you and Jaemin aren’t close. You're just both the same kind of person, the type of person who doesn’t like to express their feelings. So it was odd that Jaemin was even asking about your personal life.

“Mark. You like him, right?“ He raised a single eyebrow, tempting you to deny his claim. How could he admit your feelings so easily when it’s something you've been struggling to grasp for a month?

You wiped the crumbs off your hands onto your jeans, and maybe some nervous sweat too.

“No. I mean. He likes Jenn.” You stated it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, trying hard to make it seem like that fact didn’t bother you. You automatically looked down and start picking at the crumbs.

Jaemin hummed, “I asked if you like him. Not who he likes. I know who he likes.” 

The last statement felt like a stab in the chest, because, of course, you do too. Mark likes your roommate, your friend since high school. That was the only reason you were sitting at this table, the only reason you were able to have this conversation with one of his best friends. If he didn’t reach out to you during your Anatomy class together about helping him get with your friend, you wouldn’t even be here in this situation right now. At first, you were honestly offended by his request. However, after seeing the charm he very much lacked, you understood why he was desperate. It was a pitiful acceptance, but you wish you never agreed. Being reminded of your purpose in his life always tore you apart because Jaemin’s assumption is right; you do like Mark. 

Maybe that slight bitterness in your heart is what pushed you to confess to Jaemin, one of Mark’s friends and not the man himself. You took another quick glance at Mark to see him fumbling with his change at the vending machine to get you a drink. You couldn’t help but smile fondly at him and quickly realize how screwed you are. Jaemin followed your eyes and smiled to himself knowing he was right. It wasn’t difficult to figure out. The only person that didn’t know was Mark, and maybe Jenn.

You sighed and turned back to him, a month of feelings bursting at your lips.

“Okay, fine. I like Mark. But I swear to you, I’m not going to do anything. It literally doesn’t matter. He likes Jenn and I’m helping him pursue Jenn. I know I’m an idiot for getting my feelings tangled up in all of this, but I really care for Mark, so I’m not gonna let something as stupid as this get in the way of that. I’m gonna keep helping him and if I get to continue being his friend after they get together, great! But if our relation-friendship ends there, then that’s also fine. It-“ You hesitated, looking at the pity and confusion on Jaemin’s face. “It’s completely fine,” You said quieter, the weight of your ramble finally hitting you. You didn’t realize how pathetic this whole situation was till your thoughts left your head and were actually voiced. 

Jaemin made a sound of disapproval, getting ready to speak before a can of Milkis was placed in front of your plate.

“What’d I miss?” Mark asked, swiftly sliding his body onto the bench. “I cleaned the top already,” He says, tapping your drink.

You smiled with gratitude, before quickly snapping back into wing woman mode. Like it was second nature.

“Jenn wants to catch a movie this weekend, wanna come? Maybe bring Jeno or Jaemin,” your eyes flickered to the man that just watched you word-vomit your inner thoughts. “So it’s less sus, you know?” 

Mark’s eyes lit up immediately, the smile on his face lifting his cheekbones to match the pure joy in his eyes. The green in you only faltered your smile slightly. When has he ever smiled like that for me?, you thought.

“Jaem, what do you say? Wanna come?” Mark asked.

Jaemin looked at you as you avoided his eyes. He took a big bite of his food before saying, “I’d rather not.” 

Mark instantly pouted and slapped Jaemin’s arms multiple times, whining that it’d be fun. Jaemin continued taking bites of his food, unfazed by Mark’s slaps and silently refusing. You giggled at the sight, but something in your stomach felt uneasy now that Jaemin knows. 

Everyone continued finishing up their meals and Mark asked you about this weekend and what movies Jenn likes. You took a sip of your drink and let the carbonation burn your throat. Hopefully, your abrupt confession helps you in this predicament. Having at least one person know would be good, right?

You peered up at Jaemin and his eyes were trained strictly on you, sending goosebumps down your arms. 

Maybe not.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

A month has passed since your confession to Jaemin and two and a half months have passed since Operation Jump Jenn began — name courtesy of Haechan, objectively not his best work but you got outvoted. Ever since you started hanging out with Mark and helping out with his love life situation, your friend groups began to merge and you all grew extremely close. It feels like you're known the boys since birth, despite meeting only this year. Due to this and because everyone is all in on Operation Jump Jenn, a camping trip was planned together — more like “glamping” because tents were swapped for a nice cabin. The goal was to get Mark and Jenn some alone time whether it be on a hike or by the campfire. Haechan said they should go as far as making them share a bed, but he quickly earned a smack in the head from Renjun. 

The crew had just arrived at the cabin this morning and scurried into the rooms they self-assigned, or should you say argued over, in the car ride up. You obviously got put with Jenn and your friend, Sumin, while the boys fought over who could sleep with Renjun. Surprisingly, Jeno came out victorious.

“Okay, I’m done! I’m gonna go help the boys figure out groceries,” Jenn got up and brushed the dust off her pants.

“Oh, you’ll need backup,” Sumin laughed and trailed after her, leaving you alone in your shared room.

You took your time unpacking just because driving partially took a lot out of you. The bed was looking extra nap-able. Your body soreness also probably came from craning your neck so much to look at Mark and Jenn in the backseat. It was torturous, but you couldn’t look away. It was like self-sabotage.

A light knock on the door caught your attention and you told the person to come in. It was Mark.

Not even trying to hide the immediate smile on your face, you got up off the floor. 

“Hey, did you unpack already?”

“Haechan owes me for something, so I made him do it for me.” He sighs happily before plopping onto the bed, basking in his zero responsibilities.

You scoffed and smacked his thigh, “You’re wearing your outside clothes!” You log rolled him over to his side but he quickly positioned himself back.

“All we did was drive,” he whined. “I think our clothes should be relatively clean.” He patted the empty spot next to him. You obviously obliged.

You leaned over to him and jokingly sniffed, “Yeah, but you smell a little.”

Mark mocked offense and grabbed you by the shoulders to pull you into a tight hug, laughing evilly at your cries.

“Then get a gooood smell,” He trapped you in, shaking you around. You pretended to cough on his odor and he gasped. Mark pulled back to look at your face and you were already laughing. 

He gave a light flick to your forehead, “Jerk.”

You simply smiled, shoving him away from you before the butterflies in your stomach could get even worse. You had to take a deep breath just to calm down and remind yourself of your place. 

“When we have to grocery shop later, you should volunteer with Jenn. She’s already making the list so I’m sure she’ll wanna take over the shopping part as well.” With your eyes trained on the ceiling, the advice just flowed naturally out of you like always. You laid there expecting him to jump up at the idea. 

Mark propped his head up with his elbow and looked at you from the side, “I’m kinda tired.”

You rolled your eyes, “You’re stupid. You gotta take every opportunity you can get. Jenn’s a little tough to break through and get to know. She’s shy, remember?” You poked his nose and he scrunched at you.

“True,” he pouted. Mark reached over to grab a strand that came loose from your bun after he practically strangled you. He gently brushed it aside and you felt your whole body freeze. Two attacks in one day? Your poor heart.

You cleared your throat and shot up. You grabbed his hand and yanked him with you, to which he instantly groaned. 

“C’monnn, let’s goooo,” you pleaded, shaking his arm. “I don’t have the energy to pull you up.” 

He used both hands to grab your arm and pulled himself up, leaving you both face to face. You instantly took a step back, frazzled once again. Mark was never good at hiding his facial expressions. It was what made getting close to him so easy. You felt like you could read his mind, and sometimes you dive deeper than he expects. He looked at you a little confused by your distance and you simply gave his arm a squeeze, not wanting to look too suspicious. He smiled. 

Mark naturally wrapped his arm around your shoulders to pull you closer and walked the two of you out of the room, “Let’s gooo.” 

If he could read you the way you read him, you're sure he’d push you away.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Scrubbing hard at the dishes, you cursed myself for being so bad at rock, paper, scissors. Yes, it’s a game of luck, but you must have the worst luck in the world to always lose to Lee Haechan. You could hear him snickering at the dining table behind you, smacking on the marshmallows they were about to roast. 

“Haechan! Stop snacking and bring those outside,” Jaemin snapped, coming in to bring in more dishes from dinner. 

“Yessir!” Haechan mocked a salute and scrambled outside to where Mark and Jenn were setting up the campfire. Jeno and Sumin were looking for more firewood and Renjun went to take a post-dinner nap. 

Jaemin bumped you with his hip, scooting you over as he started rinsing your dishes.

“You’re helping?” you asked, shocked that someone would willingly wash dishes. 

“Should I stop?” He smiles, threatening to let go of the plate.

“No! No. No. I appreciate the help.” 

Jaemin laughs, “That’s what I thought.”

You both stand there quietly washing what felt like millions of dishes. Spending time alone with Jaemin was never uncomfortable, but there were always moments when your mind gets in the way and you think about what he knows. 

It’s like he can read your thoughts because he suddenly asks, “Is this trip gonna be okay for you?“

Suddenly hyper-focused on the crust of the pan, you didn’t dare make eye contact with him. 

“What do you mean?”

Jaemin takes the pan from you and starts scrubbing himself. You instantly occupy yourself with another dish.

He sighs, “I mean, usually when we set the two up, we’re never actually there to witness how it goes. It must suck to watch them laugh and be happy like that.” His words burn.

You hiss at the realization and almost drop the cup you were gripping. Jaemin tuts and grabs the cup from your hand. His hand on your wrist is tight, begging you to look up. You chew on your inner cheek, hesitantly lifting your eyes to match his. 

“It’s only the first day, but we have a whole week. If you ever need to get away from all of this, you find me, okay?” The brown in his eyes is warm and inviting, and his facial structures soften when he’s talking to you. He’s chewing on his bottom lip and you could see how nervous he is for you. You slowly release his grip from your wrist and you hold his hand lightly.

“Thank you, Jaem. But I’ll be okay. I’ve made it this far,” You meekly smile. Your eyes darted to the side of his face to look outside the window where Jenn is throwing marshmallows up in the air for Mark to catch. He looks so happy. Maybe even in love. And that look wasn’t for you. The ache in your chest returns and you hope Jaemin doesn’t catch on. You don’t know what it is that made you so sensitive in this moment, but your vision blurred slightly with tears. 

“You sure about that?” He teases, wiping the tear that managed to slip. 

“You’re gonna get soap in my eyes,” you scowl, but laugh at how pathetic you're being. He gently blows the suds off your face and you could feel them being replaced with a peachy rose tint on your cheeks.

“C’mon, let’s hurry. They’re gonna eat all the marshmallows and your terrible scrubbing is slowing me down. Jesus, Y/N, I’m finding so many missed food spots.”

Your jaw dropped and you scrubbed harder, “It’s dark in here and my arms are tired from driving! Leave me alone.”

Jaemin looks at you from his peripheral to see you practically scrubbing the varnish off the plates and he smiles. He hopes you'll be okay, but also a part of him hopes you'll seek comfort in him if needed. Was that too much or too selfish to wish for?

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

For the rest of the glamping days, you're unintentionally glued to Jaemin’s side. Every activity planned for this trip ended up with you being paired up with him: paddle boarding, hiking, cliff jumping, grilling, and so on. Every partner assignment was decided by rock, paper, scissors, and somehow the two of you kept doing the same one. Some would say it's fate, but Jaemin would call it cheating. He was lucky that Renjun hasn’t caught him changing his hands last minute to copy yours. Truth be told, Jeno noticed a while ago, but decided to let his best friend have his fun. 

The universe likes to play its games too. And that’s how you ended up being partnered with Mark for canoeing. You almost fought it till you saw how happy Jenn was to canoe with Sumin. Mark simply shrugged and grabbed two life vests for you guys.

He offered to strap it in for you and you were looking at everything but his face. Unfortunately, you could still feel the steady rhythm of his breath catching up to the racing of your heart. 

“I feel like I haven’t talked to you in ages,” Mark said to break the ice. It was true though. Your wing woman duties on this trip were basically minimal as the group joined efforts to get the two together at all costs. It took a lot off of you and you were happily distracted by Jaemin. 

“I bet you got a lot of talking done with Jenn though.” you gave him a closed mouth smile, trying to find the positives of your distance, for his sake and yours.

Mark looked at you with anything but happiness. Shouldn’t he be happy? At this rate, Jenn and he are close to making it official. 

“I just missed you,” Mark stated like he was releasing air from his lungs. You had your shield up and you were ready to combat it with another sentence about how well his love life is looking. But you saw the look in his eyes and the way his body looked defeated. You tightened the strap on his life jacket and patted over his heart.

“I missed you too,” you replied. It was something you weren't letting yourself admit this entire week. Like fireworks, a smile instantly erupted on his face and he grabbed your hands from his straps, giving your palm a swift kiss before dragging you to your boat.

Your insides screamed at his gesture and your legs failed to move as you stumbled after him. It was like you were in a Mark drought and he was the single drop of water you needed to beg for more. 

The remaining of the afternoon was spent paddling in circles and laughing till your throats were dry at your horrible rowing skills. An oar was even lost in the process. Mark also clumsily fell in while trying to reach for a duck. Being the good person you are, you jumped in after him so he wasn’t alone. Admittedly, it looked more fun than sitting in one place on the canoe. 

Mark cackled at the life jacket forcing you to bob up and down in the water, making you look like a little kid drowning. 

“You look so stupid,” he says in the middle of laughing, accidentally swallowing some lake water.

“Jerk!” you splashed him and he’s sputtering, trying to get the taste out of his mouth. His jaw drops when he realized what you did and he looks at you so seriously. Your hands are ready to splash him again and the water fight begins. You're hurling water toward each other for a good five minutes before he concedes, whining about potentially losing a contact. 

You swim towards him, grabbing his face to check his eyes. His contacts were very clearly still intact. You're about to call him out for lying when he suddenly spits water onto your face. 

“Marcus Lee.” you threaten him, still holding onto his face. Your eyes are shut in disgust. 

You wipe the water off your face and open your eyes to see him grinning evilly. 

“That’s not even my name,” Mark giggles.

“‘Mark Lee’ doesn’t have the same impact,” you shrug, moving your hands to his shoulders to stay afloat. 

He smiles fondly, holding onto your elbows lightly. The feeling in his chest felt as good as the sun resting on his backside. The warmth of the sunset reflected off your lake-soaked cheeks, plump from laughing, and something stirred in his chest. Something a little too similar to the feeling he was forcing when he was with Jenn. It was the feeling Mark had wished he felt when with her. 

Scared of this new emotion, he let go of you and scrambled to climb back into the canoe. He quickly mumbled about wanting to get back before it got dark. You floated there a little confused by his urgency, but followed suit anyways. He tossed you a towel and out of nowhere gained the skills of a professional rower and got you back to the shore in no time. Without even looking back, he trudged towards the cabin, leaving you with the setting sun, cold and confused.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“So he just left you there?” Renjun asks, scrolling through Netflix to pick a show to watch. It was just the two of you since the rest were too tired from today’s activities.

“Mhmm. It was so weird.” 

“I can check up on him in the morning since he’s asleep now. But he probably just had the shits. You know Mark.” He finally settled on an episode of New Girl.

You took a sip of your hot cocoa and pondered the chances. “Mmm true.”

Renjun laughs at your agreement and grabbed a blanket for the both of you.

“But you both had fun, right?” He asks, not really paying attention to the show at all. It seemed like he just wanted to talk and you were fine with that.

“Yeah, I mean we didn’t spend much time together this trip which is pretty rare for us. But you know, The Operation takes priority,” you took another sip to clear the knot that suddenly formed in your throat.

“You probably missed him a loooot, huh?” Renjun hid his smirk behind the mug.

“A normal amount… what are you grabbing at?“ you narrowed your eyes at him and leaned back, surveying his body language. He looked like he was holding something in.

“Oh my god,” he bursts. “Can you just tell me already?” He sets his cup down and grabs your forearms.

“Huh? Tell you what?” Where is this coming from?, you think. You set your cup down too out of precaution.

“I’m not stupid, Y/N. I know you like him, so I need you to confirm it so we can talk freely,” he waved his hands in the air like he was a therapist trying to get you to spill. You almost laughed at how ridiculous he looked.

Your hand slapped against his mouth and you did a quick look around the room. No peeping heads.

“How did you figure it out?“ you whisper-screamed. You could feel the very foundation of Mark's and your friendship crumble. 

“Imph phnot phstupidmph,” He muffles out.

“Huh?” You question stupidly and he glares at you, sharply pointing at your hand. “Oh, duh.”

Renjun clears his throat, “I said I’m not stupid. And considering how much time Jaemin has been spending with you, I’m guessing he knows too.” You look at the wall behind his head, feeling guilty.

“I don’t know why you would tell him before me though. We were lab buddies first before you met Jaemin. Not fair, Y/N.” He huffs, crossing his arms. If the security of your love life wasn’t falling apart at this very moment, you would’ve found him endearing.

“Do you think anyone else has figured it out?” you ask.

“No, I’m like the only smart one,” Renjun scoffs.

“Wrong!” A voice booms from the hallway. Haechan walks in yawning, fully decked out in a matching set of pajamas. He takes a swig from Renjun’s hot cocoa, earning him a smack. 

He sits down to your right and smiles, “I found out like 2 weeks after you and Mark met.” 

“Damn, you found out before Jaemin did,” You admitted. Not even shocked or worried that a third person knows, You sat there dumbfounded.

“Yesss!” Haechan pumps the air and proceeds to take another sip but this time from your cup. You tsked and gave him a flick before grabbing your mug back.

“Okay, so now what?” Renjun asks like there was more to this.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “What do you mean ‘now what’?”

Haechan doesn’t even look surprised but Renjun is staring at you like you offended him.

“You’re just… not gonna do anything? Ignore your feelings?” Haechan nodded along with Renjun’s questioning. The angel and the devil on your shoulders, or should I say devil and devil.

“Renjunie, that’s what I’ve been doing, I don’t know if you’ve noticed. I’m the wing woman. I’d be betraying my duty.” You said this like a mantra, a mantra you're been telling yourself for the past few months.

“What about the duty to your heart?” 

“Gross,” Haechan chimes in. It earned a scrunch of your nose and a weird look. 

“I regretted it the minute I said it,” Renjun slouches defeatedly. 

“Look, I appreciate the concern. Jaemin gives me these talks all the time, and trust me, it won’t change my mind. I love Mark too much to get in the way of his happiness. And all for what? Because I have these feelings? That’s ridiculous.” 

Haechan and Renjun looked at you with even more pity in their eyes, which is more than you usually see from Jaemin.

“What?”

“It’s worse than I thought,” Haechan whispers.

“You love him.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

On the morning of the last day, you notice Mark is avoiding you at all costs. He’s even avoiding Jenn. Everyone was packing up the car and he completely took over, not letting anyone touch the luggage or the car. You tugged Renjun to the side to ask what was up and he simply shrugged, saying he doesn’t know what was going on. 

When you all make your first pitstop, You and Jaemin are buying snacks for the group. You see Mark staying in the driver’s seat, claiming that he can go the whole way. Both of you give each other concerned looks and Jaemin says he has an idea.

His idea ended up being you switching places with Haechan to sit in the passenger seat, much to his complaints about getting car sick. He does not get motion sick, by the way, especially as the man who has ridden all the rides at Six Flags not once, but twice in one day. 

The only time Mark looks at you is to see you climb into the passenger seat. From then on, his grip on the wheel is tight and his eyes are trained on the road. You even offer to do directions for him, but he immediately declines. His cold behavior leaves a weird feeling blooming in your chest and you almost feel sick, regretting the decision to buy a gas station hot dog.

A few hours passed and Haechan and Renjun are knocked out from their endless karaoke and the rest of them followed suit after finally getting some peace and quiet. 

“Hey,” you whisper to Mark. “Mark.”

His eyebrows perk up, maybe not expecting you to initiate conversation. “What’s up?”

“Are you good?”

He nervously twists his hands around the wheel. “Yeah, dude. I’m fine.”

You looked him up and down, not believing him at all. “Then are we good?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” He says with a hint of offense. You grip the sleeves of your hoodie a little tighter. He’s never talked to you this way. 

“I-I don’t know. You just seem a little off today, that’s all.” You half confessed. He’s more than just a little off. His behavior was making the air tense and you wished Jaemin didn’t convince you to take the front seat. You chose to stare out the window instead.

“Y/N, there’s nothing wrong. I’m just missing my space, okay?” Mark says sternly, giving you the affirmative sign to leave him alone. Tears instantly prick the corner of your eyes at his tone. Mark has always been a cheerful presence in your life so for these words to be spat at you like this… It felt horrible. It felt like his bad mood was your fault. You tug the hood of your jacket up further and you turned away from him even more, not wanting to make it worse.

“Sounds good,” you managed to mutter, popping in your headphones so you didn’t have to hear any more from him.

Mark spares a glance at you and his eyes instantly soften. Something in his chest twists at the way you're turned away from him, in his favorite hoodie. Jaemin is looking from the seat behind; he’s been watching. He sighs and reminds himself to switch places with you at the next pitstop. 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Finals season hits the minute you all get back from your trip and the only time your group meets up is to study in the library. Mark, who is usually a huge advocate for group studies, is suddenly a solo studier. You haven’t seen him in a week and when you sought out Jenn, she reports the same thing. 

Thankfully and unfortunately, your finals were extra rough this semester and you essentially had no time to worry about him. Occasionally, you'd send him texts with your class notes to check up on him, but all you'd get in response is a simple thumbs up. 

Jaemin decided to change the scenery and study at a cafe near campus. He had two more exams left, but you only had one so you were definitely more relaxed than he was. You ordered a slice of cake and a pastry and munched away as he tackled his workload. You occasionally fed him bites here and there.

An hour into the study session, the food settled in your stomach as well as the repressed feelings about Mark. You twirled your straw as you stared at Jaemin typing, trying to decide if now was a good time to bother him.

“You’re staring,” He says, continuing to type. 

“Yup.” you say, popping your lips. 

“Is my handsomeness not blinding?” He smirks, eyes still on his screen. He wiggles his eyebrows teasingly.

You gag and shove a spoon of cake into his mouth. “Nevermind, no more talking. I don’t wanna throw up the food I paid for.”

He laughs and finally lifts his hands off the keyboard. Jaemin takes a sip of his deadly concoction with eight shots of espresso to wash down the cake and raises his eyebrows.

“You can ask, you know?”

You roll your lips in and tap at the table, suddenly too shy to ask.

“Okay, then I’ll just assume and answer. Mark is… weird. Mark’s not really acting like himself right now if I’m being completely honest,” Jaemin admits. He’s lazily poking his ice with the straw, waiting to see your reaction. 

“Hmm,” you pretend to ponder his words, suddenly struck with worry. Even though you're still hurt by his actions from the ride back and his sudden desire to avoid you for a week, you can’t help but care. It was almost annoying how much you want to text him, despite his lack of interest in you. It annoyed Jaemin more.

“Why do you do this to yourself?” 

Your eyes perked up, shocked by Jaemin’s change in tone.

“He dismissed you on the car ride back. He’s ignored you this entire week. He doesn’t even say thank you when you send him your notes. Why-” He shakes his head, aggravated. “Why are you still worrying about him?”

“Jaemin… you know why.”

“Listen, I love Mark like a brother. But he doesn’t deserve you. You’ve done so much for him with this whole Jenn situation, it’s just not fair to you.” Jaemin says this so seriously, you feel frozen in my spot. You’ve probably heard these words leave his mouth a million times, but today it felt different. His words weighed differently. 

“I don’t know what else to do, Jaemin. This is the only thing I can do. It’s the only thing I know how to do.”

“He’s not even appreciative of it!” Jaemin pushes further, growing more desperate to have you hear his words, praying they stick this time. “You don’t need to put yourself through this for his sake.”

You're flattening a piece of the cake with a fork as you actually consider his words. With Mark distancing himself, your mind feels a little clearer, more room for thoughts. 

“I wouldn’t be friends with him in the first place if I didn’t agree to be his wing woman. It’s why I’m in his life in the first place. I’m… I’m too scared to risk it.” 

Jaemin decides he’s had enough and shuts his laptop, too angry to work. “You’re an idiot if you think he’s only keeping you around because you’re close to Jenn. Why do you value yourself so little? Do you think we’re just friends because we’re both in Operation Jump Jenn? No, Y/N. We’re friends because I like you.”

Jaemin sucks in his breath, at his poor word choice; he looks like he’s in pain. If only she knew I meant it differently, he thinks to himself. 

He continues, “So why would Mark, after all this time, not think of you as more than just a wing woman?” 

The area around your eyes sting and you could feel yourself fighting back tears. Your lips tremble, choking back a sob. Jaemin’s eyes widen and his hands twitch wanting to hold yours, but he pulls himself back.

“I still can’t tell him. Things won’t be the same.” 

The look of pity Jaemin usually gives you is replaced by frustration, and maybe some disappointment. You fidget under his stare, tightly wrapping your arms around your waist. He shakes his head.

“Mark doesn’t deserve you if he leaves you after finding out how you feel. You really think he’d do that? Do you think that lowly of him?” He rests his hands on the table and he looks at you, urging you to try to defend yourself. But his words sink deeper. He’s right, do you really think that lowly of Mark?

You sighed in defeat and in exhaustion. You were at a loss for words, having your thoughts psychoanalyzed in front of you. You don’t think lowly of Mark at all. Shouldn’t you have more faith in him? In us?, you think.

“Why do you have to be so smart?” you glare at Jaemin. He immediately relaxes, smiling in return. He was staring at you for so long, trying to figure out what was going on inside your brain. He was on the edge of his seat, terrified that you'd drop him for his candor. Or that you caught on to his little confession.

He shrugs in response, “Pre-med.”

“You’re annoying,” you laugh, giving his foot a kick. Jaemin laughs with you and opens up his laptop again. You both work for another minute before he stops to look up at you again.

“Hey. I’m sorry if I went too far.” Instead of grabbing your hand, he traps one of your legs with his two. He swings it back and forth with a pout on his face, begging for you two to be okay.

“No, no, I needed that. Thank you for looking out for me.” Your chest warms, knowing that you have someone as lovely as Na Jaemin on your side. 

You lean forward and pinch his cheek, “How’d I get so lucky with a friend like you?” 

His face falters for a second before snapping back into a smile. He playfully licks your hand and you pull it back in disgust.

“You got me for life unfortunately.”

“Mmm, unfortunately,” you fake pout. 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

After your talk with Jaemin, it took you embarrassingly two days to figure out what to do next. Mark still isn’t talking to you and as much as it pains you, it’s actually given you the space to think. You finally decided to do something you should’ve done months ago.

“Do you like Mark?”

Jenn chokes on her sandwich and you scramble to hand her a glass of water, patting her shoulder lightly. Maybe you should’ve timed that better.

“Huh?” There was something swirling around in Jenn’s eyes. Confusion. Pure confusion. It was not what you expected at all. 

“I don’t know, do you like Mark?” you repeated, bracing yourself for her answer. 

She looked at you and did a quick once over. Jenn realized you were serious and brushed the crumbs off her hands before settling in her lap. 

“Mark’s cool. He talks a lot. The only reason we hang or talk is because of you and the boys. That’s kind of what it feels like for me and Mark. I don’t know… sometimes his behavior towards me feels forced. I thought he was just acting this way because I’m your best friend.” She took a sip, looking up and thinking about what more she could say about Mark Lee. 

“Wait. What do you mean by that?” The pit in your stomach appears. Did she figure out The Operation?

“Isn’t he just getting on good terms with me because he likes you? I don’t like him, by the way.” Jenn let those words flow out of her mouth as if it was the only thing to say. Like this is how she felt for months. 

“Huh?!” It was your turn to be confused. Never in your friendship with Mark have you considered your feelings being returned. You also never expected it to be implied by the person Mark is literally crushing on. 

“Wait. Was that not obvious? Every time Mark and I hung out, it just felt… like he was looking for something in me. It was strange. I just assumed it was because he wanted to look good in your eyes like ‘Hey! I’m buddy buddy with the bestie of my crush!’” She waved her fork in the air as she spoke and finally stabbed it into a potato wedge for a bite. 

“This is insane.” you sat there, appetite gone. Jenn never reciprocated feelings towards Mark. Jenn thought Mark liked me?, you thought. It felt like your efforts and feelings from the past few months were tumbling down. You were a step away from a spiral.

“What’s insane is that you thought I liked Mark. Don’t you like him?” 

You suddenly started choking on your spit and Jenn was quick to hand you a glass of water. 

For the rest of the meal, you explained everything to Jenn. From Mark approaching you in class, Haechan coming up with the horrible operation name (to which she gagged), and Jaemin’s talk with you from the other day. She was taken completely by surprise. To be fair, Jenn has always been pretty and has had people of all genders try their hand at flirting with her. She’s always been numb to it, so it’s not surprising that Mark and his loser-like charm didn’t come across as romantic. You use the word ‘loser’ in the nicest way. 

At the end of it all, Jenn is furious.

“I can’t believe he’s ignoring you. And for no reason? After all you did for him? Albeit, it didn’t work, and I hope you never try to set anyone else up with me ever again.” At that, you gave her a guilty smile and offered to buy her boba. 

“Deal. Anyways, that’s fucking ridiculous. What’s his problem?”

“I don’t know,” you said, picking at your fries. “He asked for space so I’m just gonna give it to him.”

Jenn nods and you avoid her pity stares.

“Jenn… I don’t know what I’m gonna do if I lose him, even as a friend. I-I really like him and I’m so so scared. Like the only two ways I can see this going is him continuing to ignore me and we drift or… or I listen to Jaemin and be honest with him about how I feel. And then he decides to stop being friends with me.”

“Okay, the second one is bullshit. You know Mark wouldn’t do that. He’d freak out, yeah, but he wouldn’t cut you off for that.” She scolds you, before taking another bite of your fries.

“I know. I knooow. But it’s still a fear I have. I’m telling you I’d rather be his friend and make a permanent home in this one sided love affair if it means I can still be in his life. That’s how insane my mind is.” You plop your head in your hands and let out what felt like a four-month-long repressed groan. 

“Y/N. You are probably the worst person for yourself.” Jenn clicks her teeth before hand-feeding you a fry, which you sadly munch on.

You sigh, “Yeah…”

“Yeah,” Jenn winces, before pulling you in for a hug.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Mark Lee is spiraling. 

“No because when she looked at me when we were out on that lake, I swear my heart was on steroids. I felt like my whole body was covered in tiny hearts and they were all beating at the same time. It was insane.”

“Uh huh,” Haechan mutters another one word response for what felt like the hundredth time today. He flipped through another page of the magazine before tossing it and reaching for Mark’s Nintendo switch. He shook it in Mark’s face as he paced back and forth.

“Huh? Oh yeah, go for it. Anyways, and when we drove home that day, dude, you should’ve seen the look on her face. I hurt her so bad, but it was like my body was on auto-pilot. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Like my brain and my heart were so confused. Because I like Jenn. I like Jenn, right? But why don’t I get those tiny hearts with her?”

“I don’t know, man. Damn, I can’t catch this stupid spider.” Haechan curses, twiddling his thumb on the remote trying to find joy in Animal Crossing.

“And now I’m not talking to both of them. But it doesn’t feel like I’m avoiding Jenn, but I can feel that I’m avoiding Y/N and it’s killing me.”

“Then. Talk. To. Her.” Haechan enunciates every time he hits a button on the switch.

“Who?” Mark asks, dumbfounded. Mark has had this same exact conversation with Haechan at least twice a day for the past week. If he wasn’t studying, he was bribing Haechan with food to come to his apartment to ramble. 

“Stupid spider,” Haechan slams the game on the couch cushion. “And stupid you. How many times do you have to circle around these same thoughts before you figure it out? Do I really have to say it, Mark? I’m trying to save you the embarrassment of admitting something so obvious.” He leans back, crossing his arms to assert some dominance in this situation. It’s ridiculous how many times Haechan has been tricked by food and games to be trapped in Mark’s apartment for the second time today. 

Mark just blinks, mouth slightly agape.

Haechan tilts his head, poking his cheek with his tongue. He raises his eyebrows, urging him to think just a little harder.

Mark finally looks up, as if a new thought crossed his mind. He gasps softly.

He covers his mouth as he mumbles, “No way…”

Haechan rolls his eyes at his dramatics, “Yes way.”

Mark pokes himself hard in the chest, “Do I like Y/N?”

“And he figures it out!” Haechan sarcastically cheers, clapping his hands. “Now can you buy me some actual food please?”

“No no no. Sit down. Because now we need to discuss this.” Mark starts pulling at his hair, even more stressed out than he was before.

“Oh my GOD,” Haechan screams. “What is there to discuss? You like her! Go tell her!”

Mark’s eyes bugged out as if Haechan turned into a mythical being. “Are you insane? No, scratch that. Am I insane? I started talking to her because I liked her best friend. I asked her to help me get close to her best friend. Our entire relationship is essentially built on this crush and you want me to tell her that I like her? Oh god, she has to hate me. She definitely hates me.” 

Mark stopped pacing and dropped to the ground in a squat. He’s full-on gripping his hair and Haechan is just watching. He forgot that Mark technically doesn’t know she likes him back and he pities him for a second before thinking he’s stupid again for not noticing. Everyone noticed. 

Mark finally raises his head and his face is left with tear trails. Haechan gets up immediately and wraps his arms around Mark’s shoulders.

“Oh, Marky,” Haechan sighs.

“Shit.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Mark (anatomy): hello!

Mark (anatomy): hi

Mark (anatomy): hey

Mark (anatomy): oh God sorry. I didn’t know which one to send and i accidentally sent them all

Mark (anatomy): HAHAHAH uhhh…

Mark (anatomy): can we talk? I wanna apologize in person.

You couldn’t help but laugh rereading Mark’s texts from this morning as you waited for him at the park. It took you an hour on your own and a 30-minute encouragement session with Jenn to work the confidence to agree to meet him. As nervous as you were to hear what he has to say, you missed him most of all and just wanted to see him. You sat on the second swing on the right, the same one you sat in when the two of you met outside of class the first time.

“Y/N?”

“Oh! Hi,” You got up from the swing to greet him, feeling a bit awkward. You could sense he felt weird too. 

You and Mark are simply classmates. You've been paired up in group projects a couple of times in class and when you see each other on campus, you both timidly wave. But most of the time, you're staring at the back of his head in class, wondering what it’d be like to sit next to him and talk.

So when he asked for your number and texted to meet at the park, your heart felt like it was about to jump out of your chest. Could he see you boring holes into his head or does he look at you the same way?

You wiped your hands on your dress and clasped them in front of you as he stood in his spot, about two feet away.

Why did I wear a dress?, you thought. This is so embarrassing. I look like I’m dressed for a date.

“You look nice,” He says, smiling to break the ice and simultaneously ridding you of your fashion doubts.

“Oh. Thanks,” you force a laugh, also trying to break the ice. “Um, why did you ask me to meet at a park?”

His eyes lit up and he chuckled, “I thought it’d be a good place for some scheming. You know, like in the movies.”

You blinked a few times, not quite catching on. “Scheming?”

He took the swing next to you and sat down. You copied his actions, twisting to look at him. He kicked up to catch some air and swung slightly.

“Okay, this is going to be weird, because I know you barely know me.” Not true, I thought. “But I wanted to ask you a favor. Half of my friends think I’m a dick for this and the other half say that you look understanding, so maybe I should give it a shot. Jaemin was super against it though, so I feel like I’m about to pee my pants right now. I thought about it for like two days and decided, you know what? It wouldn’t hurt to see how you felt, so here I am.” He used his feet as breaks as he finished his ramble to look at you, to seriously look at you.

Your grip on the swings tightens and you can smell the rust smearing on your palms. You can’t believe you get to see your crush this close to your face and he wants to ask you a favor. Your chest feels bubbly with anticipation. You nod, asking him to continue.

“I like Jenn.” The bubbles pop.

“O-oh,” you say. Your mouth has gone completely dry and the wind picked up to blow strands in your face. You quickly brush them away and swallow.

“You… you like my Jenn?” I tightly tuck the strands behind your ears, trying to compose yourself. He giggles and picks up a loose one to help. Mark Lee, what are you doing to me?, you think.

“Yeah. I wanna get closer to her and I know you guys are friends.”

“Best friends,” you clarify, hesitantly.

“Right, right. I know this is insane and I’m like completely using you. So feel free to say no to helping me. You can probably see how desperate I am, but I also can take rejection pretty well! I think.” He tousled his hair with his hand and reoriented himself. 

Clearing his throat, Mark admits, “I’m not… I’m not the best with girls. My game is off completely and I think I really like Jenn. So I thought I’d try. I wanna try. I just don’t know where to start. So I’m sorry if I’m going the wrong way about this or if I offended you.” He huffs. The boy-next-door charm you always see him carry around campus fades and he looks defeated. Despite the slight crack I feel in your heart, it swelled looking into his eyes. He must really like her.

“I’ll help you.”

Mark perked up, his whole body shaking the swingset. “What? Really?” His toothy grin returns and your heart lurches knowing it was partly because of you.

You nod, “Mhm. You seem nice, I think Jenn would like you.” I like you, you thought.

He gets up and tackles you on the swings with a hug. You fall backward and he quickly catches the back of your head before it hits the ground, eyes wide in fear.

“Oh my god, I almost killed you,” he laughs in disbelief. You’re gonna be the death of me, Mark Lee.

“Y/N!”

You almost drop your phone, looking up to meet the eyes of the boy that avoided you for almost two weeks. You thought you'd be overcome with anger, but you weren't. Instead, you felt exactly the same way you felt the first day at the park. Nervous.

“Hey,” you smiled slightly, not getting up from your spot. Mark falters slightly noticing your cold front. He stumbles on the woodchips as he walks over to the swing next to you.

You two swing slightly in silence and you're beating yourself up in your head for not having the courage to curse him out. Jenn prepared you to go off on him and you can’t even open your mouth, you whine to yourself. The more you two sit here, honestly, the angrier you get. Shouldn’t he be saying something? He called you out here in the first place. Before you could utter a word, Mark finally clears his throat. 

“I’m sorry.”

You lift your head to look at him, the first look at him since you took some time apart, and your heart already races when you meet his eyes. You know you're doomed when all the anger suddenly dissipates. You almost want to laugh at how silly this situation is. You still don’t say anything, waiting for him to continue.

“You’re probably confused as to why I’ve been avoiding you. At first, I didn’t know why either. And I know that ignoring you without telling you why wasn’t the move, but it helped me figure it out.” He broke eye contact with you and he started to fiddle with the rings on his fingers. His eyebrows are furrowed and he looks frustrated.

“I did it because I was scared. I was scared because I don’t like Jenn anymore. I’m starting to think I never did.” Mark confesses and he looks upset with himself. You get a good look at his face and you notice the eyebags, the pallor, and his chapped lips. He looks exhausted. You wonder if you look the same.

He sniffles. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I literally put you through all of this just for me to realize I don’t even like her. I used you. And I feel selfish because I still want you in my life.”

“Mark…,” you finally speak, your throat feels rough as if it’s been days. “I have to tell you something.” Your voice came out like a whisper, but it was all the strength you had.

He looks up, a signal to continue.

“As shitty as it was for you to ignore me for over a week, it let me do some thinking too,” you sigh, not wanting to say what comes next. “I don’t think we can be friends right now. And-and don’t worry, it’s not because of the whole 'you befriending me for Jenn' thing. I don’t want you to feel guilty for that because I honestly feel so grateful to have been your friend. I hope, I guess, you feel the same way. But, uh, it’s actually because… it’s because I like you, Mark.”

His jaw drops slightly and his eyes widen, almost like he forgot how to function. It was almost cartoon-like. 

“Yeah,” you awkwardly laugh. “I’ve actually liked you from the start, and I’m not saying that to make you feel guilty. I just thought you should know — to help you understand. Anyways, I realized how hard it is for me to be friends with you when I have these feelings for you. It wouldn’t be fair to me, and I’d be dishonest to you if I continued being friends with you under the guise of purely platonic intentions, you know? I really, really hope you understand.” 

You let out a breath, half relieved and half anxious. After rehearsing that a few times with Jenn, you didn’t expect the words to come out so smoothly. Especially when he’s staring at you like this. However, your pride fades as you wait for his response, a response that determines the future of your relationship.

“I don’t understand,” Mark says firmly. He’s shaking his head trying to wrap his mind around all of it. It feels like a rejection.

“Mark,” you whine, not wanting him to finish his thought -- to spare yourself the awaited pain.

“No, I don’t understand because… because I like you too.”

Heat immediately flushed throughout your chest as you heard the three words you never expected to come out of Mark’s mouth. Your mouth is itching to smile, but a part of you feels doubtful still, weighing down the corners of your lips.

“Are-are you sure? Like are you sure your mind isn’t tricking you into thinking you like me because you realized you don’t like Jenn?” You lean in, close to falling off the swings. You look at him with so much seriousness, but he meets you with a giggle.

“If my mind was tricking me, it’s awfully persistent. I think… in trying to get Jenn to like me, I started to fall for you,” Mark says as if he’s putting the last piece of the puzzle down.

“The image I had of Jenn wasn’t what I expected and I think, while in denial, I was forcing it onto her. I was trying so hard to have real feelings for her, but I think I was also still trying because it meant I got to be with you. Our friendship was contingent on me getting with Jenn, so I guess I was subconsciously scared of losing us… But at the same time, deep down, I wanted more than just a friendship with you.”

Mark looks at you and he offers the widest smile like he found his answer. A smile that ignites the fuzzy fire in your body even more. Your heart is racing so loud you can’t even hear your thoughts.

“Marcus Lee, I didn’t know you had those words in you,” you giggle, trying to soften the conversation.

He shrugs, “Dude, I didn’t think I did either. I just really like you, Y/N. And to be honest, Haechan helped a little.”

As quickly as the happiness came, it washed away just as fast. No matter how ecstatic you were to hear Mark say he likes you back, you couldn’t stop the disgusting doubt that lingered in your mind. You’ve always been in wing woman mode around him, and trying to imagine another scenario where you're the girl he wants is harder than you thought.

“Mark?” you turned to look at him.

“Yeah?” He looks at me with a different light in his eyes.

“I want to believe you, but... I can’t. I can’t really wrap my head around it, I’m sorry.” you clasp your hands together out of nerves.

He dims only a little, “No, I get it." He nods as if gathering the courage to say what's next.

"I can see how it’d be hard to believe. But I’ll prove it to you…

I won’t let you doubt my feelings.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

A/N: ahhh thanks for reading if you did!!! the only proofreading i did was to change from first person to second person. sorry about the mistakes but thank you for enjoying it if you did <3

[not-an-alien-scientist]

The Friend You Need

Vi'miel: Human Andrea, did you get any new paper stories to enjoy?

Andrea: Haven't read them yet. One of the magazines *waves the thin bunch of paper around* is from InterGeo about some new species found in the Amazon

Vi'miel: ... new...species?

Andrea: Yeh scientists back home are always discovering new species, particularly in the dense tropical rainforest or non-light portions of our oceans... but sometimes its just something new in that swamp we never thought twice about

Vi'miel: You are not aware of how many species live on your planet?

Andrea: *laughs* no we aren't even close to knowing

Vi'miel: Hm, I suppose I should not be surprised, it is. . . Earth.....we are discussing after all

Andrea: *laughs* You can read the magazine first if you want *pushes it over to him* But look, the other one I got *holds up book* is a story about a Selkie so it might be really fun, always love a little fantasy

Vi'miel: And what is a selkie?

Andrea: ... ah. ... its. um. errr. Have you read about seals from Earth?

Vi'miel: Oh yes I was quite fascinated reading about the cold zones

Andrea: Soooo a selkie is a seal... and a human... they switch back in forth by taking their seal skin on or off. . .

Vi'miel: *slightly confused* Why was this not in the information I read

Andrea: Well because they aren't real its mythol- -

Ryan: *grabs Andrea's wheelchair's handlebars and attempts to move her out of his walking space*

Andrea: *holds breath, shuts eyes tight in fear, and grips her hand rims so tight her skin turns red*

Vi'miel: HUMAN RYAN! What are you doing???

Ryan: Huh, what do you mean

Vi'miel: *stands* You humans always say do not touch without permission!!!! Why have you touched Human Andrea without permission?

Ryan: Calm down, I didn't touch her I moved her out of the way

Vi'miel: And that is touching her!

Ryan: Y'all freak out so much about normal human stuff, no it isn't, relax for once *still has hands firmly on handlebars*

Vi'miel: Human Andrea are you alright? Is he touching you?

Andrea: *very quietly, eyes still firmly shut* yes, please, stop him

Vi'miel: *stands straighter at his 8ft full height and color hue changes to heavily contrast the colors around him, gaining the attention of every Miel in the room* Human Ryan, remove your hands from Human Andrea. Now.

Ryan: *takes hands off Andrea's handle bars* Gods I hate this place fine, you big baby *rolls eyes but leaves ... the stares of the Miel are more unnerving than one would think based off their normal demeanor*

Andrea: *puts head in hands and cries very quietly*

Vi'miel: I am sorry Human Andrea *sits* may I help?

Andrea: *sniffles* you already helped *hiccup* a lot, thank you so much

Vi'miel: *hue returns to a bit more normal blue* Human Andrea, why would a human break such rules? To not touch others I mean.... it is something I have heard humans speak frequently about

Andrea: *wiping eyes with tissue another Miel had gotten for her* well for people like him, either my wheelchair does not count as a part of me... or I'm not human enough for him

Vi'miel: ... human "enough"?

Andrea: Yeh, some people.... *breaths unevenly wiping eyes a bit more* well some people think certain types of humans are less than them .... I don't know how to explain it....

Vi'miel: Human Ryan thinks "less" of your "type" of human?

Andrea: yeh.... and so I don't get the same respect he would give other humans.

Vi'miel: *color hue turns a deep shade of red in sadness* Human Andrea, may I touch you?

Andrea: Yes?

Vi'miel: *uses front appendage to rubs Andea's back* I have seen this help other humans

Andrea: Thanks Vi'miel *breathes a bit easier* I wish I had more friends like you

Vi'meil: ... may I know more about the "selkie"?

[inkblackorchid]

Hi ,I love your writing and the way you write Yusei ,Aki and Faithshipping overall ! Would it be okay to ask for some Faithshipping headcanons ?

Also ,wanted to ask if there will be any new fic for Faithshipping in the future :)

Thank you so much! And absolutely, faithshipping hc requests are always welcome! <3

At some point after the DS arc (probably in order to take on repair jobs that pay decently), Yusei got himself a diploma to the equivalent of a high school graduation certificate. Aki helped him lots while he was studying for it, because there are a lot of subjects he never interacted much with when growing up in Satellite.

Aki and Yusei's relationship, once it becomes official, ends up suffering from something like the Tony Hawk effect—it's technically an open secret and many people outside the signer group (like Aki's classmates) know about it. Yet, more often than not, they still catch people off guard with the fact that they are, in fact, a couple. (This is absolutely based off @sojourner-between-worlds' hc that Yusei, post-canon, when he's a guy trying to lead a normal work life, also gets Tony-Hawk-ed a lot.)

Having never really spent much time dating before they met—Yusei because old Satellite wasn't exactly a dating hotspot and Aki because she was too scared to grow close to people and people too scared to grow close to her—Yusei and Aki both don't really know how the "dating" thing works. Sometimes, they'll manage to go on stereotypically romantic dates (and sometimes, Aki enjoys that more than anyone could get her to admit), but much of the time, they just do whatever comes to mind and call it a "date". They don't care what they're doing, they care that they do it together.

On occasion, when the opportunity presents itself, Yusei likes brushing Aki's hair. It's soft, he loves the colour, and she always looks very calm when he does it. It's something they indulge in behind closed doors.

Sometimes, when it's late and they have nothing better to do, they watch the duel channel together. Unbeknownst to their friends, their discussions about people's card plays can get downright philosophical, because at the end of the day, they're both passionate about duelling. (And really freaking good at it.)

Before Yusei, Aki didn't think she would ever be comfortable sharing anything than a double bed with someone else, because she needed her space. As it turns out, it works just fine with him.

Yusei generally isn't one for opening up about his fears or bad experiences in the past much, but when he's sleepy or when things weigh a bit too much on him, Aki's the only one he manages to open up to. They have a mutual understanding between them that whatever they share, it might be met with concern, with care, with sadness, but never with judgement.

Yusei is the first person to make Aki feel any semblance of actual pride about her powers. Divine tried, but ultimately still worshipped them for their destruction, which she hated. But Yusei regards the things she can do when she's not lashing out in anger with something like quiet awe, and it makes her melt, because that, more than anything else, is proof that he doesn't and could never see her as a monster.

Aki is the only one besides Yusei himself who's allowed to drive the Yusei-Go. Even Jack and Crow aren't, unless it's a dire emergency.

Aki never really warms up to the idea of modifying or repairing her runner herself, per se, but she likes watching Yusei do it—and manages to pick up on more mechanical stuff than she thinks along the way.

If somebody is rude to or insults Aki within Yusei's earshot for any reason, he absolutely stands his ground and defends her. If anyone is rude to or insults Yusei within Aki's earshot for any reason, that person had better run.

Also, to answer your final question, there will absolutely be more faithshipping from my side in the future! It features heavily several times in the WIP fic already—it's just that the WIP is sooo long and not even done yet, haha.

[drdemonprince]

the man I've been seeing is cagey about his age (recently figured he's late 30s early 40s) and it makes me so sad that he's had to lie about his youth to feel comfortable. I don't blame him (he's very handsome and passes well for ~30, maybe a bit younger) because everyone seems to get so /weird/ once you're a gay man pushing 40.

no real question here, I just wanted to contribute to the age gap discussion (I'm mid twenties, so it's anywhere from 10 to 20 years depending on how accurate I am lol)

Yeah, this is so real. I have age display turned off on Grindr and it makes a palpable difference in how people respond to me -- a much wider array of people are interested and don't make as many assumptions about me when they don't see the 35 next to my display name. Some people who are older than me have expressed interest and then bounced when I told them my age, which is pathetic. A friend of mine who is a straight woman says that now that she's 41 she gets weird insecure belittling comments from younger guys who are into her but have their own anxieties about age that they project onto her, and the moment she rejects anyone younger than her, they lash out about her age if they want to get under her skin. It sucks.

I am very happy to be the age that I am with all the experience that encompasses, and I am also a disabled person who is, developmentally, a lot closer to people significantly younger than me in some respects, and have a ton in common with people who are aging in many others. You really can't know anything about who a person is based on their age and we need to stop obsessing over generations as if they're a strong reflection of a person's personality and outlook, or their value. I know playful jubilliant 50- and 60-somethings who explore abandoned buildings and make crazy noise music and throw parties and I know 21 year old homebodies who go to bed at 9pm and have five cats and people of every age of every possible constellation of traits. my life is richer from knowing and being close to people in their early 20s all the way up to people in their 70s and spending time with those groups all as friends. and if the connection was right i'd date someone anywhere in that range too.

[gurugirl]

just found out I have covid (again!) so I’m here to ask for some stepdad!H to get me through my isolation week, if not I completely understand and am sending my love always!

Of course anon! I'm sorry about you getting covid (again) (；′⌒`) I hope you feel better soon!!

This one is based off this anon request: Can I have soft sex with stepdad harry? Please? Pretty please ? I'm begging you. Im a Sucker for your stepdad au and I want some a sweet and soft harry. PLEASE ?🥺😭 3k words

Warning: Smut, inappropriate relationship between a stepdad and a stepdaughter (DON'T READ IF YOU'RE NOT INTO IT), cheating

stepdad!harry masterlist

You were feeling a bit sad. Your period was due any minute, you were very bloated and sensitive emotionally, and now putting your bra on was a pain - a literal pain. Your breasts were a bit swollen and it was uncomfortable putting your bra on. It was frustrating. You were just sad and frustrated and emotional and puffy.

Then to top it off your mom had invited a friend over for dinner so you felt like going without a bra just wasn’t an option, even if it would have felt so much better. A guest also meant being sort of social and of all days, today you were not at your best and thinking of what to talk about and having to answer questions about yourself (everyone your mom's age always seemed to ask you a million questions about college and what your future plans are).

You slid your dress on over your head. At least the dress was comfortable and was one of your favorites. You stared at your reflection in the mirror and talked yourself up then sighed, here we go.

In the living room Harry and your mom were sat on the couch and your mom’s friend Cheryl was on the loveseat. They were laughing about something and you forced a smile as you joined them, sitting on the end of the couch.

Conversation went just as expected. Cheryl asked about your major and then what your plans were for when you graduate. Then she asked the one question that should be banned from all casual discussions; if you have a boyfriend.

You stayed polite and answered the questions but were relieved when Harry interrupted you before you could answer the boyfriend question. He changed the subject entirely and moved the spotlight off of you. You were definitely giving him heart eye after that. He could tell you were not feeling very well.

Dinner was actually very good. You were hungry and your mom and Harry made a really good meal that made the whole boyfriend interaction with Cheryl worth it.

But once you put the plates away you waved at your mom and Harry and said you were tired and so you were just gonna turn in for the night. You said goodbye to Cheryl and the moment your foot hit the stairs to head to your room and everyone was out of sight, you pulled your dress off over your head and then immediately plucked at the back of your bra and popped it off with a sigh of relief.

In your room with your door closed you put a t-shirt on and then laid onto your back on your bed and stared up at the ceiling.

You were woken up to a knock at your door, “Yes?” you spoke in a groggy voice.

“Hey, Cheryl and I are going out for some drinks and to have girl chat. You okay? You seemed a little sad at dinner,” your mom moved into the room and sat at the edge of your bed.

“I’m okay. Just PMS a little. Tired and grumpy,” you said as you turned your head to watch your mom as you stayed on your back.

“Awww, well, I have some Pamprin if you need it. It’s in the master bathroom, second drawer by the wall. Okay? Do you need anything else before I head out?”

You shook your head and your mom leaned down to give you a kiss to your forehead before leaving you alone in your room.

The moment she closed the door you began to cry. Because it was so overwhelming to have her being sweet to you when you were worth nothing more than the dirt on the bottom of her shoes. You were scum. Worse than scum.

You rolled to your side and let your tears pour out. You needed a good cry. Not only were you emotional because your period was coming, but you truly felt deep guilt for the things you were doing with Harry behind your mom’s back.

Not long after your mom had left the house grew quiet at her absence. And just like you knew it would happen, Harry came into your room.

“Not tonight, Harry,” you croaked as you wiped your face and tried to hide that you were crying.

He didn’t respond but you felt the bed dip behind you when he sat down, “Hey, are you okay?”

You sniffed and opened your eyes to see the dark sky and moonlight shining into your window, illuminating your bedroom.

“I just feel so off. I think my period is going to start soon and I’m pretty sensitive today. I just need to sleep.”

It was quiet for a moment but you knew Harry was still there because the bed hadn’t shifted under his movement to get up. That’s when you felt his palm on your back, slowly rubbing up and down your spine.

“That’s okay. I can be here for you too, you know. If you want. Maybe I can just hold you until you fall asleep?” Harry’s voice was soft.

You turned your body to finally get a look at him in the dark on your bed, “Yeah. Okay,” you nodded.

Harry moved deeper onto the bed and laid next to you before pushing one of his arms under you and then pulled you into his chest so your face was against his shirt and you could smell his cologne.

It was comforting and warm. Harry’s slow breaths in and out, the shallow rise and fall of his chest had you lulling off to sleep quickly.

When you woke up you were still in Harry’s arms, pressed against his body. It was a feeling that you adored. You hated that you liked it so much, but you couldn’t help it.

It seemed that Harry was asleep. His breaths were light and his limbs were heavy. You tilted your head back to look up toward him, not that you’d be able to see much in the dark but you certainly would try. You wiggled an arm upward and put a hand on his face, slowly running your fingers over his scruff.

“Hmmm…” Harry groaned sleepily.

“Didn’t mean to wake you,” you whispered.

“How do you feel?” Harry’s eyes finally opened as he spoke.

"A little better right now," and you were telling the truth. It really did feel good to be in Harry's arms. You rarely got to lie with him like this.

Harry shifted a bit and you felt his palm move over your thigh. He pulled your leg up over his hip and continued smoothing his hand on your skin. It felt nice to be like this with him; quiet and slow.

You still had your hands in between his body and yours and you were rubbing them over his shirt covered chest. You loved having your hands on his chest, feeling the muscles he worked hard for under his skin, so you lowered your hands to underneath his shirt and brought your flat hands upwards on his warm skin.

"Y'like touching my chest don't you, baby? I like when you touch me," he spoke softly.

"I do. Wish I could whenever I wanted," you let your fingertips lightly graze over his nipples and kept your eyes on his.

Harry's arm underneath your body was trapped but the hand he had smoothing over the skin on your bare thigh slowly dragged upward to your hip and then under your t-shirt. He rubbed your back gently and slowly.

Having his hands on your skin was doing things to you. Before you'd fallen asleep you weren't in the mood at all, but now you certainly were. You wiggled your hips and adjusted yourself so your center was pushed into Harry's. He was still wearing his pants. So you moved a hand downward toward his button and you kept your eyes on his.

Harry let out a soft laugh, "Want my pants off?"

You nodded, "Yeah."

Harry removed himself from you and sat up so he could undo his pants and he pulled them off his legs. You sat up and placed your hands on the tops of his thighs and moved them upward to the bottom hem of his boxer-briefs and Harry grasped your wrists, "What are you doing? I thought you just wanted rest?"

You furrowed your brow and opened your mouth to speak but couldn't find what you wanted to say. You were still frustrated and you knew that you wanted him inside of you but it felt like a lot to ask in that moment. You huffed and pouted.

"Is this what you want?" Harry spoke as he moved one of your hands upward over his crotch where you could feel him thickening underneath. His other hand he slide up your thigh and to the edge of your panties where he dragged his thumb along the elastic but not touching your warm center like you hoped.

You nodded and licked your lips, "Please."

Harry smiled and cocked his head to the side as he brought his hands up to your panties waistband to pull them down your hips and off your legs.

He gently nudged at you to lie down and he spread your legs, all in silence. When you noticed he was about to put his mouth onto your pussy you sat up, "Wait! I'm about to start my period, Harry. What if I'm bleeding a little?" You bit your lip.

Harry shook his head, "Do you really think that would stop me?" He put a finger through your labia and you were already slick for him. He rubbed over your clit and you keened when he hit that spot that worked so well for you.

"Look at that... you're already soaked and you're all swollen too, honey. Bet it's achy huh?"

You nodded, "But just... I want you inside of me. I need to feel really full right now and..." your breaths picked up when Harry didn't let up with his gesture over you clit, "... please."

Harry wouldn't say no, but he really did want to eat you out. He leaned over you and put his hands at the bottom of your t-shirt and lifted the material over your head. His warm palms massaged your tender breasts and you sucked in a sharp breath when you felt him squeeze.

"So tender. Poor baby. I'll be gentle," He spoke as he watched you and leaned in wrap his mouth around your left tit. Your nipples were already hard and his tongue darted around your pebbled skin and then he sucked at you. Moving to your right breast he palmed over your wetted one and rolled your nipple softly between his fingers as he sucked on the one in his mouth.

You moaned loud and bucked upward. You felt a storm of lust and need building in your tummy. You lifted your hips upward again and Harry released your nipple from his mouth with a laugh.

"Need Daddy's cock right now little one? Need me to make you feel good?" Harry pulled his briefs down his legs and then quickly put his hands back on your sore breasts.

You nodded, "Yes!"

"How do you want it? What feels best for you right now?" He was serious. He wanted to make sure you got whatever you wanted. Normally he'd take you how he wanted but right now you were sensitive and achy and needed special attention.

You laid back onto the soft bed and spread yourself, "Just like this. But slow, and soft. And deep inside of me so I feel you all the way up here," you slid your hand up your tummy to your belly button.

Harry groaned and put himself in between your legs and his cock was rock hard already. He loved feeling you around him. He'd never get tired of it. He'd never not want you.

With his eyes on yours and one hand holding his shaft, he nudged his tip to your entrance and slowly began penetrating your sensitive hole. You both moaned and gasped when he got past your tight opening. The initial plunge inward was always so tight but once his wide head was past your entry it was easier to glide into and out.

Your knees were bent, feet flat on the mattress, thighs spread wide as Harry worked himself into you slowly, in and out, and back in until he was pushed as deep as he could possibly go.

He kept a nice slow, languid pace, but he did pull back all the way so his tip was nearly out and then he'd slowly push back into you repeatedly. The way his thick cock traveled inside of you and stretched you when he pushed in, his tip grazing your g-spot each time he pulled out and pressed back in, you were moaning constantly from the pleasure he'd built in you.

"You need Daddy's cock so bad don't you?" Harry cooed at you as you whimpered at the slow, divine pace. You nodded and mumbled nonsense in response.

"I know, baby. I know. Gonna make you come on me and it'll help relieve that ache in your tummy, okay? Just let me take care of my girl," Harry spoke quietly and breathily. His own needs were being met as well. With you. Not just your pussy around him, slippery and tight, but with your coos and your eye contact. Your presence, your hands on him. He needed all of you.

The slow thrusts upward and his pelvis pressing into your clit had you quivering in lust. He felt so good inside of you, on top of you. His breathy moans meant something to you too. You loved that you made him feel good. You could tell he needed it too.

You grew wetter and wetter the more minutes that went on. With Harry's gently rocking into you it would take longer to orgasm, but you knew when you did, it would be explosive. Your bottom was wet with your arousal and Harry's long cock dipping into and out of your creamy cunt was hitting everything right.

Your bed barely moved under you, Harry's languid thrusts were so slow, but the noise of your wetness being fucked into and heavy breaths falling from your mouths filled your bedroom.

"Daddy!" You yelped when Harry thrusted in a little harder. He hadn't meant to do it but he was feeling so good and his orgasm was just around the corner so his motions became a little more irratic.

"Sorry baby. You just feel so fucking good. Gonna come on daddy's cock baby?" Harry gritted his teeth and grunted his words.

You smiled and nodded and Harry's slow thrusts became slightly faster, dipping in a little harder and deeper. The bed began to creak now as you both rounded the edge of your eventual highs.

"Such a good girl for Daddy. Taking his big cock with a smile. Baby I love you..." Harry paused his motions and he lifted himself a few inches and you saw the look on his face. He hadn't meant to say that.

Your own mouth dropped open and you smiled at him as you gasped your response, "Daddy I love you too!"

Harry panted and then dipped down to kiss your mouth and he picked up his cadence again, making the bed squeak and the springs bounce a little now.

He kept his mouth over yours and he grabbed your hands, intertwining your fingers as he continued fucking into you.

You opened your mouth for his tongue and you felt your heart swell and your pussy began to flutter around his large dick. Your orgasm was blinding. You gasped and moaned into Harry's mouth when you started to come and Harry finally felt that was his permission to really fuck into you faster, harder.

With the slick sounds of your hole being penetrated repeatedly and the bed squeaking under you Harry finally released into your tender and puffy pussy, allowing himself to completely fill you up. He pushed into you deeply and with his final pump of come of he stilled his hips and his breath was heavy, deep.

He backed away from the kiss and looked down at your face. He could feel how you'd soaked his entire groin area. His pubic hair, his balls, drenched.

With his hands still holding yours he brought one up and kissed the back of your knuckles, "I mean it. I love you. Was that okay?"

You watched him kiss over your knuckles and with a sigh and your heart hammering in your chest you responded, "Yes. And I meant it too. I love you. I love you, Harry."

As much as you both wanted to lie together and fall asleep wrapped up in one another, you couldn't. You understood why he couldn't stay in your room. You drifted off to sleep with smile on your face and relief in your body.

Tell me your thoughts!

Thank you for reading! I’d appreciate any support you can give! Whether a comment, reblog, or buying me a coffee - it’s all appreciated.

Main Masterlist

Xoxo

Tags: @michellekstyles @ssaama @angelqueen99 @sombrioinvernoemveneza @golden-hoax @a-strange-familiar @reveriehs @yousunshineyoutempter @the-gardener-31 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @swiftmendeshoran @luvonstyles @dancinsunflowerkiwi @tiaamberxx @lukesaprince @harrys-foxy @dirtytissuebox @closureesny @lhharrylilpumpkin @evelynlarue @chaptersleftunwritten @ky-harlow-bieber @angel-akxo @flowerfeastrry @anothermannharry

[agentnatesewell]

I did not see this!! Thank you for making me aware of it! I just looked it up (have been putting off the LT route in the demo so far) and ohh, that's nice! It's giving me hope that we will get to hear the accent N used to have as well at some point.

As much as I can see how N's speech would have this mixture of accents (and it fits them, immersing themselves in languages, cultures, interacting with people, it's a way of immersing themselves in humanity, I think), it does make me a little sad if it's at the loss of their old accent, exactly because it's something so very personal, like that post said.

There's this old ask that says their accent comes out in stressful situations, but I just can't help but wish it will come up at other points as well. Perhaps when N is all cuddled up with the MC, dozing off, and it just slips into something they say. Later, the MC can't help but recognise how that same accent laces some of their words: a few specific words that N always speaks with a certain inflection (please, please let me have this)

Ahh, sorry for the rambling, it's something I have a lot of thoughts on haha. Hope you're having a wonderful day, dear Mar <3

Hello, hello most darling Seren! Thanks for this, I have been thinking so much about this very thing

In certain scenes in book four, there is mention of certain accents. For N, as you said, it’s in the LT (if N/A come over in the morning) and it’s in the friendship route if N is your best friend

I’ve thought a lot about N and their indistinguishable/indescribable/lack of accent and I like that his been further described as a unique mix of accents (for a long time I thought it was perhaps more of a transatlantic accent but now I think of someone who speaks the common language of their area with remnants of pronunciation of precious languages) - putting behind cut because i have a lot of thoughts today!

And I love what you said here, immersing themselves in humanity. I love that idea. I do wonder if they learned so many languages through books of if they’d gotten that chance to truly immerse. Living for three hundred years really should give you the opportunity, should you want it.

Also, I think of how A’s accent is described (posh, British, and I’ve always thought closer to RP), and that being around them for 300 years should have influence, M and their Greek accent for almost 100 years having influence, and F with their NOLA accent over the last seven or so years

So. Yes. That’s another excellent point - the mix of everything, and how accents can be a social marker, can N sort of hide from who they are or who they were with how they speak? Aside from adjusting, acclimating, can they sort of sneak away from the base of who they are? Do they want to? — OR

Or is the mix of accents more true to who they are? Their father Persian with his language, the love of language passed through their mother as she felt it important, and then growing up within the British gentry

It was said elsewhere, and I love that you linked the ask, about their true and base accent coming in at stressful times, that N’s speech patterns become more strict, more proper, the more they are stressed. And that is very interesting!!

Truly, I love the words that slip out, the words that were theirs when they were human. Maybe one of them is rabbit. Maybe one of them is hyati. Maybe one of them is a word that may not be as remarkable as those - and I hope that we get those words! I am manifesting with you!!

What a fun topic to discuss! Thank you so much for this ask! I love your thoughts and I had a great time thinking about this!

[cha1cedony]

I think part of the reason Gothcleats has literally like consumed my mind since becoming canon is because I think about the Wilsons in the context of marriage/romantic relationships SO much?? Like. Being aro, I normally don’t like analyzing characters through the lens of romance and how they function with crushes or in relationships… It’s just not that interesting to me, and I don’t like basing a character’s personality or worth on their romantic (or sexual) dynamics with other characters. BUT THE WILSONS? OH BOY.

Ramble under the cut bc this got way too long

ALSO!!! Warning for discussions of sex! Not very in-depth. (It’s mostly just about Grant and Marco hooking up on the Titanic lol)

Anyway!

So so so much of the Wilsons’ identities in canon (and also to an even further extent in my fics/headcanons/mind hehe) are based on their marriages and immediate nuclear families. For Darryl, his entire life WAS his family. As far as we know, the same was the case for Frank, and even Robert Wilson was pretty much always talking about his gal Sal iirc. Like obviously bc this podcast is about family, BUT as your resident Wilsons expert (lmao), I want to put forth that the Wilsons in particular are about marriage!

I think the best example of this, actually, is in S2 when (on the night before Grant’s WEDDING), Darryl is talking to Grant about marriage and says that he and Grant both know that Carol and Marco respectively are too good for them. Which like. is also one of the most loaded and important statements to me in this whole goddamned podcast (and probably THE most important for the Wilsons) for many reasons. but I digress lolol

For Darryl and Grant both, there’s a perceived power imbalance in their marriages: not in an abusive way or anything, but rather as like… a measure of self-worth? For better or worse, their self-esteem and sense of self-worth are dependent on the people close to them, especially their romantic partners.

Darryl is constantly comparing himself to his father (as is Grant), but not just as a father—as a husband, too. Darryl tells Frank that he wishes he had the kind of relationship with Carol that Frank had with Darryl’s mom (which is. doubly ironic and sad bc Darryl’s mom was cheating on Frank, and he almost cheated on her, too. but I digress again oops)

But he compares himself to Carol, too, thinking she’s smarter and ‘better’ than him, and Grant especially compares himself a LOT to Marco, saying that Lincoln would be better off with Marco as a single dad and that Marco is ‘better’ than him in general. I find this extra interesting bc Frank does NOT do the same with Darryl’s mom; in fact, he (albeit light-heartedly) says she’s worse than him for having cheated—I don’t have transcripts in front of me, but something along the lines of “If you think that’s bad…”

And that’s why I think the best (and honestly only) way to really examine the Wilsons as characters/people is through the lens of their marriages.

So much of Darryl’s character especially is based solely on Carol. He’s been with her since she was 13-14 and he was 14-15, and so much of his personality and life is entirely formed around her. She’s his best friend. When he gets the idea that she might be cheating on him, or dead (as a mummy), he loses himself because, like. What else is he if not Carol’s best friend, her husband, the father of her son? Almost any time Darryl has any character development (that isn’t related to his dad or son), it’s about his romantic and sexual relationships and feelings: with Carol, with Sweet Matilda, with the fucking sex pit! Lmao

And he and Carol NOT divorcing after S1 is honestly the only thing that makes sense to me; what else would he do? Even if they never manage to fix it all, what else does he have? (The answer is all of his family and newfound friends, but he can’t see it that way; his self-worth centers around HER, remember; she’s BETTER than him.) So they stay together, and he dies believing she still loves him and will be happy to be unchangingly domestic him with him all over again in heaven, whether it’s true or not. Until then, he lives with a facade of her and their son (btw the fake personal heaven Grant is a kid, so Darryl is presumably reliving his life before the events of S1 without changing anything which… is sad for a whole other set of reasons) because Darryl can’t be alone; what is he alone? ALSO. Okay actually no. I won’t get on my aromantic Darryl soapbox right now, but….. expect it at a later date lol. This part got kinda rambly/headcanon-y oops.

A lot of Grant’s character is ABOUT his romantic feelings/relationships; he’s pretty much inextricable from them. His crush on Yeet was originally his whole character (aside from aloof gamer kid lol): Shy, easily embarrassed, extremely obvious about his crush, trying to impress this cute and cool guy. And then, by the time of the Supper Bowl arc, after the chimera and everything else, he becomes more complex, of course, but those feelings are still at the center of everything—because they’re his escape.

He tells Yeet the TWO things that make him feel alive are violence (whether done TO him or BY him) and his crush on Yeet. Grant’s romantic feelings become linked and equated with violence and rage (which. makes me feel crazy btw but anyway. Sorry I love Grant beyond words) and are the only temporary cures for his dissociation.

So when Grant is an adult, of course he relies on romance and sex like a crutch; it makes him feel safe and real, and it’s an intersection of love and violence that makes him feel at peace.

I know it’s a funny moment, but this always makes me think of him and Marco hooking up on the Titanic: Grant believes wholeheartedly that they are both going to die and that there’s nothing he can do about it (or maybe he just doesn’t even want to try to save them). When Marco finds out what’s happening and sort of scolds Grant for it, Grant is embarrassed and says it’s because he’s just “having so many feelings” (probably not exact words), which is also interesting because that’s pretty much the opposite of his original problem of dissociating.

But, between being overwhelmed and dissociative, at its core, the same root feeling is there: hopelessness and helplessness. Also, in his second conversation with Lincoln is S2, Grant says that violence and killing help with his self-worth, also (which ties back to what I said earlier about the connection between the Wilsons’ self-worth and their marriages). When Grant kills someone, all of his doubts disappear and “it all goes white.” If we’re looking at this through the lens that Grant equates violence and love/sex, it must give him that same feeling of… blissful ignorance? Emptiness.

This leads me to believe Grant copes with feelings of hopelessness and self-doubt not just through killing, but through romance and sex, too—like we see on the Titanic (lol)

There’s a lot more speculation I could do about both Darryl and Grant (and Frank, and even all their spouses), but I’m trying to leave it to at least canon-adjacent stuff. Anyway, let me finally circle this all back around to Lincoln lol…

It’s clear that Lincoln thinks romantic relationships are very important. He thinks marriage is beautiful (and, based on his dads’ marriage, that all marriages are good and happy lol—which is especially funny/interesting to me when you consider the several times it’s been said that something Lincoln did/does is the only thing holding their marriage together, and he’s the whole reason Grant didn’t call off the wedding in the first place). His dads have spent a lot of time educating him about love and sex and personal choice in both of those categories, which he references a few times, but, despite their emphasis on personal choice and not raising him Catholic but encouraging him to believe whatever he wants, Lincoln, at 16, is SURE that he will get married someday (and probably young, since he said to Normal that a few years is a long time to wait lol). The Wilsons’ generational insistence on marriage, romantic relationships, and nuclear families persists regardless of Catholicism, it seems :’)

Lincoln’s marriage to Chris in the simulation was also clearly really important to him—and to Chris, too, since they asked him never to remarry. I know the cast joked about this, but it does make me a little sad that Lincoln’s relationship with Chris seemed to be a lot like Darryl’s with Carol! Granted, we only know a like two things about Chris lol… also, I LIKE Chris and Carol! A lot! No hate to either of them <3 but also, that doesn’t mean those relationships aren’t strained, you know?

Anyway! A lot of Lincoln’s character can of course be attributed to his dads’ marriage, like I said before, but his marriage in the simulation was pretty big, too. Although he doesn’t talk about it a lot, it must have matured him, at least on the inside. He later references the job he had in the simulation, as well as being a dad. When he marries the other teens in space, he still thinks of Chris and what they would think. Once again, like Darryl and Grant, a lot of Lincoln’s decisions and beliefs are tied to his spouse—even if they’re not there or were never even real to begin with. Even once he’s married to the other teens, he takes it VERY seriously with pet names and domesticities.

All of this to say, it makes me wonder about his marriage to Scary in relation to his characterization as an adult! I’m not speculating that their relationship is bad or anything; I don’t want it to be and in fact VERY MUCH hope they’ve broken cycles. I just wonder how it affects him as a character (and Scary, too, of course)!

I was really excited when Gothcleats became canon not just because I shipped them, but mostly because I think the Wilsons are most interesting when looked at through their marriages. Lincoln has always put a really strong emphasis on marriage, and all of his pet names and PDA with Scary in the S2 epilogue confirmed to me that they take after the previous Wilson generations in GOOD ways, which makes me really happy.

I guess the main question I’m getting at is about how Lincoln perceives himself in this relationship. In the years soon after the end of S2, does he still feel that same emptiness and feeling of “not caring”? Does he try to cure it in the same way as his father, making “it all go white” with violence or sex or getting someone else to hold him together, or his grandfather, suppressing his depression and trying to will it away with love and close/‘happy’ romantic relationships? Does he find any of those things in Scary? Does he see himself as her equal, or does he feel inferior, like she’s smarter or more capable or ‘better’ than him? He did say multiple times in S2 that she’s the leader, she’s the one who knows what she’s doing, and he just wants to follow along because he doesn’t care anymore.

I hope not. I hope Lincoln and Scary are really happy together. I hope their self-worth is not determined by their partner. I guess that’s all this ramble is :’)

OKAY WHEW. I’m done. That was fun :D

Thanks for subjecting yourself to my ramblings omfg… please send me all of your Wilsons thoughts always. I’ve been wanting to write a long thing about this FOREVER… The aro Darryl fic(s) will come eventually. Also one about Grant coping (badly lol) with sex, which has been in the works forever bc I am bad at NSFW. But it’s fun. Uhhh I guess that’s all?

OH ALSO. If you want to read more of my post-canon Gothcleats thoughts, I published a 15k fic the other day about Jerry being their foster kid! Here you go :3

Hit the Ground Running - chalcedony

(It’s very fluffy and sweet—which is rare for me, but I promise I’m not lying! It’s silly and fun. And I do not speculate too much about Lincoln’s inner turmoil, I pinky promise)

If you read this all. Um…. Sorry? LMAO. Here is a gold star for you ⭐️

[aphroditeslover11]

Exam Shenanigans

Oppie x Reader

Summary: Oppie helps you through a tough exam.

A/N: My first time writing anything so please be kind. Lloyd is totally fictional, as is Oppenheimer in this as he is mainly based on Cillian Murphy’s portrayal. If you like it please feel free to get in touch.

It was just a regular evening, Robert had been working at the university as usual and had just got back to his house in Shasta road, hoping that he’d just be able to have a quiet evening in, maybe get on with a bit more of his current paper or discuss the new book that you’d been reading together. Instead he walked through the door to darkness. The house seemed empty until he reached the living room where he found you, single light on in the corner and hunched over, seemingly heaving.

“Y/N, are you alright darling?” he asked, switching on another light before making his way over to you. It soon became clear that you had been crying, leaning over a book that you had been trying to read through your tears.

“I’m fine Robert, nothing that you need to worry about.” Not satisfied with your response he adjusted the cushions of the sofa, sitting down beside you. He wasn’t always the most sensitive to the emotions of others, but he could at least tell when you were lying to him.

“Love, you’ve been crying, something must be wrong.” He noticed then that you were moving to hide the book down the side of the sofa. “Was your novel sad, unhappy ending?” he pushed a little further. You just shook your head at him, still silent, as if speaking would set you off again. “What is it you’re reading anyway?” With that he gently reached across you, taking the book from your grasp and noticing your brief reluctance to release it. As soon as he saw the title he understood why you were crying: ‘A Comprehensive History Of The Late Western Empire’, a history textbook.

As soon as you knew that he had seen it you started to explain. “My professor set a surprise exam on the Roman Empire and I don’t know anything about it. We were meant to be doing the French Revolution when I took the course, but he changed his mind on units last minute. ”

“I’m sure we can sort it out, you don’t need to be so upset love. Who’s your professor? Maybe I could pull some strings and get you transferred.” he said taking you into his arms, the reassurance driving any tears away. You were a student at Berkeley, having met Robert through friends at a social event and quickly falling for him. After a period of dating your accommodation had fallen through and he had insisted that you move in with him. It was fast, but you stayed over half the time anyway, so it made sense.

“Lloyd, but I don’t want to transfer, he already doesn’t like me and I don’t want it to look like I’m giving up.”

“Lloyd wouldn’t do anything for me anyway, hates my guts, that’s probably why he’s difficult with you.” Although Robert loved it at Berkeley and was friends with half of the faculty, he didn’t get on so well with the other half, who openly hated anyone with his kind of politics.

“Well then, there’s only one other solution, we’ll have to work through it together.”

“Robert, I love you, but the exam’s in a week and I have no idea what’s going on, all the people in that book have the same bloody name. What do you know about the Roman Empire anyway? You’re a physicist.” The man chuckled slightly at that remark, lightly stroking your hair to relieve your angst.

“You happen to be very lucky, because one of the classes that I took when I was at Harvard was history, and I happen to have read all 3,000 pages of Edward Gibbon’s ‘Decline And Fall Of The Roman Empire’. I might just be able to remember a thing or two.” Robert really was unbelievable sometimes, you just had to hope that he had the knowledge to face the challenge as well as the cockiness, though he usually did.

The next week was spent with your head in and out of books. Robert would borrow books from the Berkeley library whilst he was at work, bringing them home to you. He spoke to a friend who worked in the history department who gave you some pointers on what to focus on. By the end of the week you weren’t perfect, but you knew a lot more about Rome than you used to, thanks at least partly to Oppie’s efforts. He drove you in on the day of the exam, smiling at you softly as you went through some last minute notes from the papers sat in your lap. He delivered a chaste kiss to your lips, offering reassuring words as you left the car, ready to face the music.

~

Five days later you came into Robert’s office at the university, interrupting him grading papers, but he would always drop everything for you. He looked up to see you waving an envelope in your hand.

“We got the grades back today, but I couldn’t bring myself to it open without you.” He extended an arm to you, scooting his chair back so that you could situate yourself in his lap.

“Well, aren’t you going to open it?” he asked once you had yourself settled, handing you a letter opener. Nervously, you took the proffered tool, ripping across the top of the envelope in one swift motion. Pulling out the piece of paper, your eyes immediately went to the letter written at the top of the page. A.

You immediately jumped from Robert’s lap, squealing in happiness. He was reserved as ever, though his face broke into a wide smile once he saw the piece of paper that you had dropped in your excitement. He stood up to join you in celebration, pulling you into his arms before planting a firm kiss to your lips.

“I’m so proud of you love, I knew that you could do it.”

“Not without you Rob, you’ve been a godsend this past week.”

“Have a little more faith in yourself love. But forgetting everything else, what do you say to going out to celebrate? Maybe grab dinner and have a couple of drinks?”

“That sounds wonderful Robert,” you replied, leaning your head back against his shoulder.

[sofasoap]

Miss Sunflower

Pairing : Kyle “ Gaz” Garrick x F!reader Summary:  Gaz and you started long distance… friendship? Sequel to Miss Sunshine

Warning: M theme.

Gaz route for my Mini MacTavish verse, I just love the photo of Elliot Knight big cute smile! As always, Thanks to mother of my Mini MacTavish @saltofmercury for lending me the character “ Mini” from her story. <3 Go read her  “The Favorite MacTavish”  !

“Masterlist” for other stories to this Mini MacTavish expanded verse.

Gaz gasped and dropped his phone.

“Everything Ok?” Soap asked as he started bending down to pick up the phone for him. Gaz was quicker to snatch the phone off the floor.

“ No, yes. All good. Um, Price wants me to see me in his office, I’ll talk to you later.” Gaz made a quick retreat from the common room, ducking towards the opposite direction of the office, leaving a very confused Soap behind, while pointing to Price, who is currently sitting by the window, chatting to Ghost. 

He can’t let Soap see what was on his phone. 

Not that it’s some risque picture or anything. Well. Not quite. But it’s a selfie picture of you, in a beautiful sunflower pattern dress, LOW CUT DRESS, wearing a cap very similar to his, except with a St Andrew’s cross instead of Union jack on it. That beautiful smile again.

“ Look what I found! Now we have matching cap :) Well, I can’t get a Union Jack one otherwise Johnny will be angry with me.” you wrote in the caption. 

Your brother will kill me. Gaz thought. 

He wasn’t quite sure if it was the alcohol that did the talking when you slipped him the phone number that night.  Took him a week of self-deliberation to finally summon up the courage to text you. Your response was immediate. Which gave him great relief. It was a start of blossoming friendship, constant messaging back and forth, occasional phone calls when he is in the privacy of his own room back at the base.

He started sending you photos of all the places he has been to on mission, letting you travel through him, all stemmed from you complaining one day;

“ I am very envious of Johnny and you boys.. Getting to travel all over the world.. Sorry I know it's to war zones... But I have never stepped outside of The British isle before.. Ma claims she took us to France once, but I don’t remember a thing. I was only one year old!”

How he wishes he can take you with him, by his side, showing you the famous sites of the world. Reality is a bitch. He is always out for work, not pleasure. Saving the world, just like the superheroes. You teased him once. 

In return, you update him about little tidbits of your life, what happened at work, the new ER doctor everyone is drooling over, (he denies a burn of jealousy rising when heard about it), little gossips you heard, new food you tried out. “Sorry my life is boring compared to yours.” Gaz loves it though. It gives him a sense of normalcy amongst the blood sheds and killings, and getting to know you more. What your favourite foods are, your irks. Even though you two haven’t met again physically after that night, he always feels he is close to you, by heart. 

He loves hearing your voice just before they had to go dark for missions. Even with the time differences, you will always answer his message, picking up the call.

“Stay safe please.” That whisper of yours. Always laced with sadness. 

“I will.” I will stay alive. To come back to you. He wanted to say. 

Where is the relationship at? You two never discuss it. The feeling of trapping in this friendzone, both of you waiting for each other to step over that little boundary line, to finally take the relationship into the next phase. He’s been with other people before. But no one else ever makes him so nervous like a teenager again. What is stopping him from making the move? Wrath of Soap? Not wanting to disturb the peace of the team, jeopardising missions. Or people are going to judge him for going after his friend’s younger sister? 

Or people are going to call him selfish, for leading you on, entering into a relationship that is heading to a tragic end, with a high possibility that he might not return from mission one day, leaving you heartbroken.

Or he is just finding excuses, because he is damn scared. Scared of your rejection, and losing you entirely.

He just can’t help it. He is falling more and more for you. He wants to confess to you. His Miss Sunflower.

“Come on Mini, I dare you, send him the picture! Maybe he will finally make a move on you.”

“But… but… isn’t this showing a bit too much of my…. this…..”“ OH hush, you look very cute in that dress. DO IT.” 

Gaz ran back to his room afterwards, trying to dispel any ungentlemanly thoughts out of his brain. Failed miserably.  

I seriously suck at writing long chapters, I think short little  bits really suit me. Thank you for reading, comments and reblogs always appreciated :) 

taglist: @deadbranch

@voxyin