#based on that one really funny meme
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crossover
#v1 ultrakill#rui kamishiro#this is not gonna bang i fear but thats ok..#im posting this for myself and the 3 other pjsk and ultrakill fans...#based on that one really funny meme#v1 fanart#rui fanart
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the emotional rollercoaster that is the magnus archives (graphed)

#pretty sure this is only funny to me but idc#based on that one “its so over” graph I keep seeing everywhere#tma#the magnus archives#tma shitpost#tma spoilers#the magnus archives spoilers#spoilers for everything tbh#tma memes#the magnus archives memes#i really only post for myself here anyways#melanie king#sasha james#jane prentiss#tim stoker#jonathan sims#jon sims#the archivist#martin blackwood#mag 160#mag 200#the eyepocalypse#peter lukas#jonmart#jmart#possibly the most esoteric thing I've ever created tbh#1k notes
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Transformers Funnies [TFA Style]
1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / ?
#transformers#animated#tfa#sari sumdac#henry masterson#blackarachnia#bumblebee#blitzwing#arcee#shockwave#prowl#optimus prime#sunstorm#swindle#wreck-gar#ratchet#bulkhead#tfa spoilers#transformers animated spoilers#this is technically 12 images but the last one is one meme so im not really cheating with my '10 images per funnies' batch rule#mix butter and water post is based off well the blurr ep#also idk why tfa makes the others think bulky is stupid HES NOT!!!#granted most of them didnt know he was a space bridge nerd BUT LIKE. HES NOT DUMB!!!! HES JUST A BIT CLUMSY#sorry. bulky fans forever#TFormers Funnies
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having "incompatible" faces for kissing ft garchomp and eon(who got permission from his wife. dw about it)
#ok now that ive posted nice pictures of garchomp w ev heres him trying to make out w her dad-#not canon at all btw. i just think this is really funny.#first one based on that meme btw.#my art#sorry.#+others
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Does a gay little pose that pisses Yaz off.
From this post, tucked in a pin board that is absolutely hilarious.
#chaos theory spoilers#Chaos theory#The whole board is golden I just really wanted this one separate cause it's funny#Based on that “Does a gay little run that pissed you off” meme was the first thing I thought of seeing it.#I really need to be working
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could u imagine the type of memes that would be circulating if alternates were a real thing...
#i genuinely think some ppl would be brain rotted enough to avoid getting MAD#not everyone obviously but a few#on the brightside the stupid jokes and edits online would be very high quality#some ppl will joke til their dying breath u know#me personally i think some would be funny at first#and then eventually id be like....oh we r so cooked#if i somehow managed to live long enough that is#honestly the first person u personally know to get snatched would probably be the point u stop laughing#or maybe not#it really depends on the person!#when it comes to this whole being psychologically attacked thing#everyones different#....but in the end i believe in the persistence of humans (whether i want to or not lol)#we r so great in amount and variation that theres always gonna be a handful of ppl at least who can survive no matter what#some people r just so sure of themselves and their mind that nothing would be able to crack them#especially if theyre the EXTREME loner type and dont have friends or family to worry about!#at that point their mental weaknesses would be almost null#then some people would have high willpower and ultimately it wouldnt DIRECTLY be an alternate themselves that fucks them up#it would probably be their health failing them cause they cant get the professional help they need to get better or something like that#or some other shit like a wild animal or something haha#ik some of these attacks arent fear based either#despair works too#thats one thing i remember from the few clips i saw of the mandela catalogue...#i think that would be the main tactic for alts to use after picking off most of the humans#the depression of being completely alone and hopelessness would start to hit the average person#help i was talking about memes and ended up going somewhere else#inchresting world
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Pen doodles from yesterday and then digital for today
Katale and Rudyard but as little crime babies. Since he's known her for a while and just thought she looked like a little street thug despite being higher ranking than him in the crime organization at first, the cat-ear hairstyle was just A Thing for her. And it spawned the nickname he would use in private of "Kitty" and even when she grows her hair out and he grays even more he still calls her Kitty in private. They're literally just bffs who do crime and what more can you want of them??
#my characters#time for more lore in the tags#so it was brought to my attention that the funniest thing possible is to give them a few bases with my favorite meme#the color theory meme where everything is just too reminiscent of a bloody massacre#because honestly katale would be like hey rud hey i have the FUNNIEST idea ever look at this carpet pattern#and he looks at the very horrific carpet and just says go on#like keep going this is funny and very much the funniest thing we can do as crime lords keep going#and they do actually have that kind of decor in one of the nicer buildings#and the poor little agent who is on a mission to kill them walks in like HOLY CRAP ITS A MASSAC-- thats the carpet that is JUST the carpet#and has to take a minute to file that information away before proceeding#then stuff happens and the two crime bosses are like oh yeah that agent is our son now we adopted him its fine he can be here#also ruds sense of humor is super dry and he doesnt really SHOW the fact hes amused much but thats what makes kitty so happy when he jokes#he sounds very serious but hes enjoying himself and thats wonderful#like those weather reporters who see an off the wall temp and go OH YEAH EVERYONES DEAD IN THAT CITY#or the other weather man video where only some of the temps are off the wall so hes like#oh yeah this seems to be the safe area but if you go up north a bit its basically melted - there isnt anything to loot there dont bother#that is his sense of humor. hes super casual and acts like he didnt just say the funniest thing on the planet
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um there are people who enjoy my writing and roleplays ?!???? ummmmmm what.
(read tags for rambles about folks on tumblr I love /platonic I didn’t type it out up here and don’t want to retype <3 )
#shitpost#ace attorney shitpost#no but fr#when people mention my oc (MY LITTLE GUY!!!!) in asks on the Kristoph Gavin page I literally go crazy /pos#being a little silly rn too#sleepy and thus silly#ah and#If you happen to see this Kiji#broooooo#my duuuuuuude#it’s so validating to have an active roleplay partner for the first time in a year#ily dude /platonic#hold on#I’m gonna cook with positivity now#lemme name drop some folks I LOVE /platonic#ANALOGICAL SPACE GAYS#DUDETTE#one of the most active folks I’ve noticed and also you’re funny asf???#ily as well dude /platonic#also literally anyone who participated in new mpreg Kristoph bit because it was so funny#Kristoph Gavin Real Not Fake slash lifeitself3146#Schizokristoph#(There’s a lotta Kristoph based users here)#(Law Sugar Lawyer (the meme video) is so valid tbh)#someonedefinitely#and all the folks and anons I didn’t name#I really like the Kristoph Gavin blog if you can’t tell#ily all /platonic
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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not to be kazuren on main, but ren's kazuha bias absolutely sends me.
#𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. ◟ ooc .◝#tbd .#momijiba#( i just think it's very funny. he literally is that meme w/ the two images of the chihuahua snarling & looking friendly )#( he's such a petty person. he's a menace. his ''''''moral''''' code is 50% based on what amuses him the most in the moment. )#( and he's still a pest!! kazuha is not exempt. he does not do a complete 180 in personality just because he loves him. )#( but when they're alone he's just so blatantly obvious about how enamored he is with him )#( claims he's bad at expressing how he feels through words & composes entire soliloquies in his head about how he is The Most Special )#( he really thinks the world of him & it stands out in such stark contrast because he's so jaded and cynical otherwise )#( i subjected myself to the mortifying ordeal of being known today i am allowed one(1) self indulgent post about Them 🙏)
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Shameless
Charles Leclerc x Reader x Max Verstappen
Summary: you + Lestappen + a sex tape leak + one very unamused head of communications … need I say more?
Based on this request
The Red Bull Racing communications office smells like stale coffee and impending doom. Portia, the team’s head of communications, sits stiffly in the center of the storm, knuckles white around her phone. She stares at the video playing on her laptop, horrified but unable to look away.
The footage is intimate, explicit — grainy but undeniably clear. Three people, tangled up in sheets, moaning names, gasping into each other’s mouths. Max Verstappen. You. And, unmistakably, Charles Leclerc.
Her inbox is a dumpster fire of urgent PR memos, emails with subject lines in all caps, and press releases that have already been revised half a dozen times. She hasn’t even responded to half of them yet. No point.
This is beyond damage control.
The door swings open violently, smacking into the wall. Max strolls in first, looking every bit as casual as if he just finished a training session. You follow behind him, your hair in a messy bun, holding a half-eaten croissant. Charles is the last to enter, chewing gum like this is the most ordinary thing in the world.
Portia blinks at the three of you. “… What the hell?”
Max plops into the chair across from her, sprawling out like he’s just arrived at a friend’s house. “What’s up?”
“What’s up?” Portia repeats, incredulous. “You-” She gestures frantically toward her screen. “The video. The world just saw everything, Max! You, her, him-” She throws a desperate look at Charles, who only shrugs.
“Yeah. We saw,” Charles says casually, pulling out a chair and sitting down next to Max. “Kind of funny, no?”
Portia makes a strangled noise in her throat. “No! It is not funny, Charles. None of this is funny!” She can already feel the migraine creeping in, sharp and mean behind her left eye.
Max leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Listen, it’s not like we were hiding it. We’ve been-”
“Friends,” you interject, your voice calm as ever. “Very close friends.”
Charles grins. “Really close.”
Max winks. “Super close.”
Portia pinches the bridge of her nose. “Stop saying that.”
“You’re the one freaking out,” Max says, as if that makes any of this better. “It’s not a big deal.”
Portia throws up her hands. “Max, it’s not just a sex tape. It’s a scandal. Sponsors, shareholders, media outlets — everyone is calling. Red Bull is losing its mind, Ferrari is fuming, and the internet-” She gestures vaguely toward the air, as if the internet is some wild animal loose in the building. “-is losing its collective shit.”
Charles leans back, folding his arms behind his head. “The internet always loses its shit.”
“True,” Max agrees, glancing at you. “Remember when they thought we broke up because I didn’t post anything for two weeks?”
You hum thoughtfully, finishing the last bite of your croissant. “They were so mad.”
Portia stares at the three of you like she’s trapped in some bizarre fever dream. “Are none of you remotely concerned about this?”
Max shrugs. “Not really.”
“It’s out now,” you say, wiping your hands on a napkin. “What’s the point of stressing?”
Charles nods like you just delivered the most profound truth of the century. “Exactly. It’s not like we can put it back in the box.”
“Oh my god,” Portia mutters, pressing her palms to her temples. “You’re all insane.”
Max flashes her a charming smile — the kind that usually gets him out of trouble. “Come on, Portia. You handle worse than this all the time.”
“Not this, I don’t!” She groans. “I mean, sure, we’ve dealt with crashes, team infighting, broken engines, drunk interviews-” She shoots a pointed look at Max, who grins unapologetically. “But this? This is next level.”
Charles checks his phone, seemingly unbothered by her panic. “The fans seem to love it, though. Look-” He flips the screen toward Portia. It’s a Twitter thread full of memes and heart-eye emojis, captioned with things like Lestappen and Y/N living their best lives and Honestly, goals.
Portia glares at the phone like it just insulted her family. “This is not helping.”
Max raises an eyebrow. “Actually, it kind of is.” He points at the screen. “If the fans are cool with it, the sponsors will calm down eventually.”
“Sponsors are not fans.” Portia slams her laptop shut, as if doing so will somehow make the problem disappear. “Sponsors are very rich, very conservative people who do not want their logos anywhere near a video of you having a threesome!”
Charles clicks his tongue thoughtfully. “Technically, it’s not just a threesome.”
Portia shoots him a death glare. “I swear to God, Charles-”
You stifle a laugh, covering your mouth with your hand. Max notices, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he nudges you with his elbow. “See? Even Y/N thinks it’s funny.”
“It’s a little funny,” you admit, which only makes Charles beam with satisfaction.
Portia looks like she’s on the verge of a breakdown. “This is not funny. None of this is funny.”
“I think you need to relax,” Max says, as if that’s the simplest solution in the world. “It’s not like we committed a crime.”
“It might as well be,” Portia snaps. “Do you know what Ferrari is going to do with this? They’re probably drafting some moral code violation complaint as we speak.”
Charles waves a hand dismissively. “They can’t fire me. I bring too much to the table.”
Portia gives him a flat look. “Charles, you are the table.”
“Exactly.”
Max turns to you, his hand casually resting on the back of your chair. “Do you think we should put out a statement?”
You consider it for a moment, then shake your head. “Nah. Statements are boring.”
“Agreed,” Charles says, pulling his phone back out to scroll through more tweets. “No one likes statements.”
Portia exhales slowly, as if trying to summon every ounce of patience she has left. “Okay, so let me get this straight. Your solution to this PR nightmare is ... to do absolutely nothing?”
“Exactly,” Max says with a satisfied nod. “We just let it blow over.”
“Like Austria,” you add.
Portia stares at you, aghast. “Austria? You cannot compare this to a racing incident in Austria!”
Max looks thoughtful. “I don’t know. I think it’s kind of similar. People get mad for a while, then they forget.”
Charles grins mischievously. “By next week, someone else will do something stupid, and no one will care about this.”
Portia groans, dragging her hands down her face. “You are all ... impossible.”
Max reaches across the table to pat her shoulder. “You’ll see. Everything will be fine.”
“Max,” Portia says, her voice low and dangerous. “If this mess costs us a single sponsor — just one — I swear I will make your life a living hell.”
Max’s grin widens. “You already do.”
You burst out laughing at that, and even Portia can’t suppress a reluctant smile, though it’s clear she’s fighting it with every fiber of her being.
“This isn’t over,” she warns, but there’s no real bite in her voice.
“It never is,” Charles says breezily. “But that’s half the fun, no?”
You lean into Max’s side, content and completely unbothered, and he drapes an arm around your shoulders. Charles glances over at the two of you, a lazy grin spreading across his face. “See? We’re all good. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Portia shoots him a murderous glare. “Do not say that.”
Max laughs, the sound low and easy, and for a moment, it feels like the world outside the room doesn’t exist — no scandals, no cameras, no angry emails. Just the three of you, stuck in the strangest mess, but somehow, perfectly fine with it.
And, really, isn’t that all that matters?
***
A few weeks later, Portia is sitting at her desk, sipping her second coffee of the morning, when her inbox pings with a new email. She glances at the subject line, hoping it’s something routine — maybe a press update, or an invitation to a sponsor event.
Instead, her heart drops.
URGENT: New Video — Verstappen, Leclerc, and Y/L/N on Beach Vacation
She groans audibly, slamming her head down on the desk with a dramatic thud. They didn’t listen to her at all.
Opening the email, her stomach churns as she scrolls down to the attached link. The video loads instantly — there’s Max, Charles, and you, sun-kissed and carefree, lounging on beach chairs somewhere tropical. The sound of waves crashing in the background is almost soothing.
Almost.
And then, without warning, it escalates — hands everywhere, tangled limbs, kisses that start off playful but quickly turn into something else entirely. A bottle of rosé tips over in the sand as Max pulls you onto his lap, and Charles leans over, dragging his mouth along your shoulder with a grin.
Portia shakes her head in disbelief, muttering under her breath, “I’m going to kill them.”
Another ping. This time, a text from Max.
Saw the email. You’re gonna love the next one.
She screams into her coffee mug.
#f1 imagine#f1#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 x reader#f1 x you#lestappen#charles leclerc#max verstappen#charles leclerc imagine#max verstappen imagine#charles leclerc x reader#max verstappen x reader#f1 fluff#f1 blurb#f1 one shot#f1 x y/n#f1 drabble#f1 fandom#charles leclerc fanfic#max verstappen fanfic#charles leclerc fluff#max verstappen fluff#charles leclerc blurb#max verstappen blurb#charles leclerc x you#max verstappen x you#f1blr
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Astrology observations #5🖤



🌜I wrote these for fun, based on how i see these placements. i'm not a professional! hope you enjoy these🌛
⭐cancer placements allow themselves to feel their emotions. they may get annoyed by the intensity or the amount of them, but they process them fully, and this makes it easier for them to move on. random thought but writing letters to people they like may be something they do or did as kids haha. they're very romantic
⭐some aries venuses have obsessive tendencies when they have a crush, and they get frustrated a lot if they think they can't/shouldn't pursue them. they enjoy the tension, but they don't want it to last too long because they dislike not being in control, and having feelings for someone leaves them feeling too vulnerable. that's why they try to move on if they can, but it takes work. when they do find someone, they become really clingy but they still need freedom when it suits them
⭐mars in libra avoid conflicts and try to be reasonable about everything, but if they think you crossed a line, you'll see why aries is their sister sign pretty soon. once they tell you off, you'll never see them the same way, so underrestimate them at your cost
⭐having stelliums can be interesting. it for sure puts a lot of emphasis on the influence of that house on your life, and i found that it can be both positive and negative since they face lots of challenges related to their house but also many blessings. those who have stelliums kind of embody multiple characteristics simultaneously
⭐sun in the 11th people glow when they are with their closest friends. they also tend to dream big and care a lot about the world. their friends usually help them in their future goals. they feel a bit different than people in their hometown/country, mostly because they cannot be tied down to a single culture because they enjoy different things, which usually makes them quite open-minded and tolerant. they can be picky about the people they let in super close though
⭐mars in the 6th can procrastinate a lot actually, but they get things done. may get sudden waves of high energy and get things done rapidly and extensively. they expect a lot from themselves regarding their ambitions and aspirations. they try to improve themselves in any way most of the time, but they should also accept their current state if they want to evolve and love themselves. they need to watch out for their moral perfectionism too. it's okay to make mistakes as long as you apologise and strive to change for the better
⭐i've found that virgo mercuries can be really direct, even if they are shy or don't talk much around strangers or acquaintances, they have their moments. super funny too
⭐north node in cancer struggle with accepting their vulnerable side. they hate feeling like things and people can evoke strong emotions in them. they want to be more detached, but those that work on themselves find it very rewarding once they embrace their strong emotions. they can also be really reliable, practical, and thoughtful
⭐fire+water combinations in birth charts-i am sending you a hug. i know exactly how difficult it is to keep all those emotions under check, and that you need a lot of understanding and rest to function. use those emotions and passions well hun, you are strong and capable. you have a lot of empathy and wonder inside of you
⭐capricorn sun/mercury have a dry way of texting. their humor is difficult to read via text and they simply are not fans of texting, and it shows lol
⭐aries mercuries are not always available online and they may come and go when they're online, but they'll answer all of your messages one by one with lots of enthusiasm. they also like to send memes and joke around a lot
⭐virgo mercuries are not fans of texting and they can answer you after a couple of days or so even if they really like you. similarly to aries, they'll make sure they answer everything and they also pay attention to every detail you mention. very sweet really. their humor shines brighter in person
⭐taurus moon are very capable. they may prefer rest over anything else, but their patience and dedication to the things they need to do is really cool. they are calm most of the time so it's nice to be around them, just don't disrespect them and everyone will thrive
⭐taurus venus men can be really possessive. even if you like such behavior, some can go to extremes and try to control how you feel, think, and behave. they have a specific image of an ideal partner and they want you to fulfill it
⭐libra venus tend to care about how they look and present themselves so they put lots of effort into that. they also have standards when it comes to beauty and some expect others to dress and look well, whether they know them or not
⭐women with venus in aquarius-you may be attracted to men who are mysterious and act like they're special. just be careful because there are so many toxic ones out there who want a relationship but not truly, because they don't want to dedicate themselves to you and maybe plan on using you
⭐pisces moon can feel like they're drowning in their own emotions sometimes because they cannot control them easily and they tend to give in. if they like to portray themselves as a martyr these emotions can get out of hand because they let those emotions lead them which influences their mental health and relationships. those who are developed process these emotions and try to figure them out and let them pass. they can learn a lot about themselves and others this way. creative outlets can be of help to process this
⭐leo moon need to watch out for hurting people when their ego is hurt because they can lash out and make lots of damage. take a second to think whether it's worth it or not, since there is no point in trying to "win" in a fight with someone you love
⭐pisces mars can be too forgiving, especially to those they care about. don't let people walk over you dear, no matter who they are. nobody deserves that kind of treatment
thank you for reading!🤍i also offer paid astrology readings, so check out my blog for more info
©rosesnbooks
#astrology#astrology observations#astro observations#dividers credit goes to cafekitsune#rosesnbooks#photos from pinterest by yuya and R41N#this one feels more personal than others perhaps so i hope i won't insult anyone#i just like my observations to be more nuanced. i usually look at the positive sides so this one is a bit darker. hope you don't mind
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WANTED - LN
based on this request ✧ my inbox is open for requests (or if u just want a chat!) ✧
warnings - smut! MDNI!! jealous!lando, fingering + oral (fem receiving), possessive!! unprotected (stay safe yall), spitting, light slapping (u have been warned) not proofread
ur girl has finally officially finished first year!! i have never felt so freeee (im ignoring the fact i now have to move out rip) (also osc p2 monaco lets gooooo)
masterlist the playlist
lando had been busy lately, too busy. between races, training, and quadrant, it seemed like he barely had any time to himself, or to spend with y/n. she understood, of course, she knew how demanding his career was - but understanding didn't make the loneliness any easier to bear.
and even when he was around, it’s like he wasn’t there at all, not for her at least.
everyone was stood around at the end of a quadrant shoot - it had only been filmed at max’s house so the group settled into the living room easily. y/n there to accompany lando since she had little else to do, desperate to spend any time she could with her boyfriend before he flew off to the next race - even if it did mean sleeping in max’s spare room.
lando stood on the opposite side of the room, talking almost exclusively to max, whilst she sat on the sofa, alone.
y/n didn’t think anything of it when will came and sat next to her, showing her a meme on his phone that she laughed at. and she didn’t think anything of it when they continued the friendly conversation. it felt good to be noticed, to have someone ask her how she’d been - maybe she laughed a little too much at a joke that wasn’t funny, maybe it was just the first time anyone had shown her any attention in a while.
across the room, lando watched the interaction with a frown. he saw the way y/n laughed, the way she leaned in a little too close to his friend. he knew he had been neglecting her, but seeing her with someone else made his blood boil. he wasn’t possessive, no, and usually the sight of his girlfriend laughing with their friends didn’t strike any anger in him. but this was different.
“— we can post that next week sometime?” max said, interrupting his thoughts.
“yeah, yeah - sounds good,” lando replied, not really listening, “i’ll be back in a minute, just need to do something,” he added before striding across the room, leaving max stood alone, his face contorting into slight confusion.
“hey," lando said to the two, his voice low, "mind if i steal her for a minute?"
will looked somewhat confused, but nodded. lando reached out, taking y/n wrist before yanking her from the sofa, pulling them into the hallway. the door shut behind them, y/n’s mouth opened, ready to ask him what was so urgent.
"lando, what are you—"
but he didn't let her finish, pushing her against the wall, his hands on either side of her head, caging her in.
"what the hell were you doing?" he demanded, his eyes sharpening with jealousy. he was met with her eyes glaring up at him in defiance.
"i was having a conversation, lando. something i rarely do with you because you're always so busy."
"so your idea of fun is flirting with my friends?" his jaw clenching.
"flirting?" she shot back, shocked, “he was asking me how i was?”
“and that’s why you were two seconds away from giggling and twirling you hair for him, no?” lando continued to argue, anger still bubbling in him as one hand dropped to her hip, gripping tightly.
“ok, i was flirting with him and now, we’re going to run away and live a long and happy life together - is that what you wanna hear?” she continued, shrugging slightly as she sighed at the ridiculousness.
he stared at her for a long moment, his chest heaving. without warning, he crashed his lips onto hers roughly, his possessiveness filled with pent-up frustration and desire he'd been ignoring for weeks. y/n responded instantly, her fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer as he deepened the kiss, his tongue swiping her bottom lip, begging for more.
"lan," she breathed out as he broke the kiss, whining slightly as his mouth moved to press kisses down her neck, nipping at the flesh harshly, "there’s people here."
"’don't care," he growled against her skin. "you're mine, and im going to remind you of that."
he kissed her again, his hands roaming over her body, gripping at her hips. she moaned into his mouth, her resistance melting away. she was engulfed in him, the way he touched her, the way he pushed her further into the wall as his hips rolled into hers.
"need you," she breathed when he pulled back for air, his forehead resting against hers.
he nodded, his pupils blown with his own need.
"come on," he told her, taking her hand to guide them up the stairs to max’s spare room.
stumbling through the door, clothes already being discarded, lando pushed her onto the bed, his eyes raking over her body.
"you're so beautiful," he murmured, crawling over her. "and mine. only mine."
"only yours," she whispered, pulling him down to kiss him again.
“gonna need you to be quiet f’me, ok?” he told her as his lips trailed her body, his body sliding down the bed till he was resting on his knees. he pulled her legs closer to him so his face was level with her heat, her hips moved upwards, desperate for anything after weeks of nothing.
“patience, angel,” lando breathed out, moving his finger to toy with her clit slowly. he wrapped an arm around her leg, pulling it over his shoulder as he rests his forearm over her stomach, stopping her wriggling. his finger returns to her folds, slowly he pushing a digit inside her, feeling the stretch around him. his lips joined onto her clit, sucking harshly as he added a second finger, curling them up into her.
“please lan,” she moaned out, unsure of what she was even asking for.
his fingers never faltered, continuing their assault as they hit that spot that had her pushing her hips up, his tongue circling her clit once more before he pulled his face away from her heat. his eyes flittered from looking up at her before moving back to watch as his fingers disappeared inside her. she tightened around him, her breathing heavier as she began to fall apart for him. she was getting fidgety, her moans gaining in volume as his thumb returned to her clit, rubbing deep circles, his other hand still pushing two fingers into her at an alarming rate.
“shush angel,” lando told her, before trailing his spare hand up her body and pushing his thumb into her mouth slowly. her hand moved to grip his arm as her tongue glided along his thumb. as much as he wanted to hear her, as much as he wanted everyone to know who she belonged to, he also wanted her all to himself - no one else deserved to hear her fall apart for him.
his mouth barely had time to return to her clit before her legs were shaking around him, clamping around his head periodically as she came around his fingers.
“good girl,” lando mumbled against her thigh, his fingers slowing inside her as she rode out her high.
“need more lan, please,” y/n begged, pulling at his arm to bring his body back to hover over hers.
“so needy,” he replied, pressing a kiss to her lips, allowing her to taste herself.
“been too long,” she told him, a hand reaching down to tug at his hardened length a few times.
he would’ve felt guilty about neglecting her needs for so long, if it wasn’t for the feeling of her fingers wrapping around him, her thumb circling his tip before spreading pre cum down his cock.
“let me make it up to you,” lando told her, pressing a kiss to her jaw, before taking himself in his hands and running his tip through her slick folds. he pushed into her roughly, finding himself desperate to feel her after so long.
“breathe for me angel,” he told her, pulling out slightly as he felt the way her body tense,, “feel so good.”
his cock pushed into her again, setting a steady pace as he leant back over to kiss her harshly.
“feels good,” she told him, eyes looking into his. his necklace dangled from his neck, the cool metal settling on her skin.
“yeah? ‘my the only person who makes you feel like this?” he asked bitingly.
“you snatched me away before will had the chance to do a better job,” she teased cautiously.
lando pushed himself back, rising to stand at the end of the bed, his cock never leaving her. he pulled her legs again, yanking her roughly to the edge of the bed before pulling one of her legs over his shoulder. her eyes began to glaze over from the new position, his length thrusting into her tightening walls at a relentless pace. however, a sharp sting on her cheek brought her back to reality, sending shots of pleasure to her core whilst tears pricked her eyes. lando’s had slapped at her face lightly, not enough to hurt, but enough to tell her that she had pissed him off a little too much.
“you wanna say that shit again?” he grunted, slowing his pace to roll his hips into hers tauntingly.
she genuinely considered it for a moment, contemplating how possessive he could get if she teased him further, but his fingers dipped into her cheek, holding her jaw tight.
she shook her head quickly as if to say no, refraining from flinching as his hand moved, but this time it fell gently, stroking her cheek where it stung.
“good answer,” lando added, returning to a regular pace, “you gonna behave now?”
“i wi- will,” she choked out, nodding despite his grip on her face, “i promise.”
satisfied with her answer, his fingers moved to toy with her clit. using the leg over his shoulder and her other leg wrapped around his waist as an anchor, her hips rose from the bed, moving in circular motions to match the pattern his fingers drew on her heat. lando’s free hand gripped at her calf, pulling her closer to him, deepening his thrusts. the tip of his cock pressing desperately into her as she whimpered and moaned his name.
lando leaned forward to kiss her, letting her leg over his shoulder drop to his waist so that she wasn’t folded literally in half. y/n wrapped around him tightly, pulling him in to kiss her deeper, tongues clashing as his thrusts faltered slightly. he balanced on his arm as his head dropped from her lips, his teeth nipping at the skin of her breast before his lips wrapped around her nipple, his free hand moved to grip tightly onto her other breast, fingers toying with her.
y/n whimpered, trying to keep quiet as she remembered how many people were also in the house. lando smirked to himself, loving the way she sounded, the way her heat gripped around his length as he moved inside her. his teeth pulled at the skin of her breast again, the flesh moving with him as he pulled away before dropping, bouncing slightly as it landed.
“so pathetic,” he grunted, feeling his high coming rapidly as he looked at her head thrown back. her mouth hung open, heavy breaths escaping, and her nails gripped tightly into the skin of his bicep. his other hand moved to settle lightly on her neck, thumb and index finger holding her jaw open for him. lando’s face hovered above hers, their eyes locking as a trail of spit fell from his mouth, landing on her tongue. he watched as she swallowed it, before re-joining their lips in a messy kiss.
“look at you, taking me so well,” he cooed, “’m so stupid for neglecting you,” he added, his tone softening from his previous frustration.
“not stupid,” she reassured, kissing his jaw.
“i love you,” he told her softly, despite his hips quickening in their movement, feeling the way her legs tightened as she got closer to her climax. his lips returned to her neck, sucking softly at the flesh, blood running cold as his ears picked up on the way she panted out his name.
“lan, baby, im go-”
“i know,” he told her, eyes squeezing shut, “let go baby, i got you.”
she came hard and fast around him, the tightening of her walls bringing him to his own climax.
“can i come inside?” he asked her, almost begging. she nodded rapidly, unable to talk as her mind became fuzzy.
“fuck,” he grunted, hips snapping into hers desperately before shooting ropes of warm cum into her, filling her completely, “all mine,” he said, more to himself than her.
lando pulled out slowly, careful of the way her eyes screwed up from the sting before rolling to lay next to her, chests heaving in unison. he turned his head to face her, noting the bruises forming on her neck and her chest, till his eyes settled on the red flush of her cheek.
“i didn’t hurt you did i?” he asked softly, hand reaching up to stroke at the redness.
“not really, it was hot,” she said with a shrug, smirking as she turned her head to face him.
“noted,” lando replied, laughing lightly.
“love it when you get possessive,” y/n added, cautious with her next statement, “makes me feel wanted.”
“im sorry i ever made you feel unwanted, angel. i never meant to,” he sighed, pulling her body close to his so that her head rested on his bare chest, “ill do better i promise.”
“i know you will, lan - i just wish i didn’t have to ask to be wanted, you know?” she told him, her fingers stroking lightly at his shoulder.
“you are wanted, y/n,” he repeated fiercely, “you are everything to me. i think i just got too comfortable with how things were, i jus- it took the thought of you leaving, the thought of you with someone else to bring me back to reality.”
“i am yours lando, forever,” she assured him, holding out her pinky to join his, “i promise. besides, if you keep fucking me like that i don’t think i could ever leave,” she joked.
“yeah?”
“but if you keep spitting in my mouth i may go completely feral, you won’t be able to get rid of me,” she said, smirking up at him, “do that again and you’re actually having my children.”
“that’s…not possible?” he questioned, smiling at her.
“so you don’t love me? is what you’re saying?” she asked, pushing herself up to look in dead in the eyes, her mouth straining to stay clamped shut in fear of laughing.
“i fear for what i have started,” lando laughed, pulling her back tightly into his chest.
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris smut#lando x reader#lando smut#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#formula 1#mclaren f1#mclaren#lando norris fluff#propertyofwicked
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I really hope you continue the eldrich God story. I may or may not have become obsessed with the idea, and i think it's actually really funny and I also just love the idea of a God being in love with a human.
Also, I love your writing and art! I hope you're doing well!
Yandere! Eldritch God x Detective! Reader
Based on this prompt and this meme. You're sent to a remote island to investigate a string of murders, and end up with a horde of cultists and their Lovecraftian God who is very much obsessed with you. Don't worry, he just wants to help you with your case!
Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance, tentacle tomfoolery again
[More Monsters]
The island checks all the boxes for a stereotypical shady place: the grimy boat captain who talks in riddles and vague warnings, the constant fog, the tavern filled with rumors and fears, the bizarre statue of a creature with tentacles. You were expecting most of it, save for their patron God being a literal monster.
Soon after your arrival, you discover that you’re being followed by men in dark robes. Could it be related to your case? A little alcohol-aided interrogation, and the locals confess to you about the existence of a cult. The dots begin to connect.
Unfortunately for you, whatever theory is cooking up in your mind couldn’t be further from the truth. The patron Beast of the land has been watching you from the moment of your arrival. He’s rather intrigued by your nonchalant city attitude, your stubbornness, your lack of any sense of danger. Thus he demands that you’re brought to his lair.
A game of cat and mouse. You are now convinced this said cult is responsible for the murders, so you delve deeper into their secrets. At the same time, the men put all their efforts into chasing you down. The Lord's wishes are their command; for how long can you outsmart sheer numbers?
At last, they succeed. You’re dragged over, cocooned in thick rope. “My Lord, we’ve brought you the sacrifice”, one cultist proclaims victoriously. Sacrifice? The ancient creature gazes at the men with utmost confusion. He frees you from your restraints with a mere point of his tentacle appendage, and proceeds to lecture his devout following for treating his special guest with such shameful brutality. Everyone blinks in disbelief, you included.
What the hell is this, some beastly romcom? Once everything is cleared up, you dust your knees, stand up unceremoniously, and tell the cosmic deity you’ve no time for idle gossip. “There’s a criminal running free and it’s my task to stop it”, you bark. Aha, that’s the very same attitude that got his nebulous heart pumping with curious desire. He cannot explain the maddening interest he’s taken into you. The monster releases a monotonous hum, causing you to jolt in surprise. The cult leader gasps. “He…he wants to help you solve the case”, the man concludes, defeat in his voice.
“Does it have to be all of you?” You whine, clicking your tongue at the sight. It’s the morning after the godly encounter, and you’re greeted outside your room by the cult leaders and their monster. “I can’t be discreet with a dozen monks after me. Not to mention…” your eyebrows furrow. “What on Earth is he wearing? Is that a detective hat and a mustache? Are you mocking my job?” You demand, glaring at the eldritch beast and his ridiculous disguise.
“Excuse me, I’ll have to ask you to quiet down”, an employee suddenly interrupts. “You and the gentlemen over there.” You stare at him incredulously. Can he really not see he’s facing an enormous, tentacle monstrosity? You swear you can discern a grin forming across the creature’s amorphous, unholy features. Alright, you’ve been convinced. What now?
As a child, Sherlock Holmes was one of your favorite books. You'd flip through the pages and daydream about your own future as a detective, though your little fantasies never included Watson as a cursed entity of a thousand tentacles. The eldritch creature seems to be more interested in you than the case itself. Eyes always fixated on your movements, tendrils creeping around you, never leaving your proximity.
Why would he need to look elsewhere? He can already tell how things will unfold. He is, after all, the God of this land. He knew your wanted culprit had been hiding in a sealed room right under your nose, as you dusted for footprints and scribbled hurried notes. He knew the underground tunnel had deadly traps, which would have normally put your investigation to a swift end. "Kind of suspicious to leave his trail unguarded like this", you mumble in deep thought. The cosmic God smiles.
He wouldn't dare ruin your fun. Consequently, he only interferes when your safety is involved. As annoyed as he is by the criminal's persistent attempts to kill you, he doesn't want to steal your grand capture. Besides, he is very much content with the current circumstances.
As the two of you follow along the dark passageway, you clear your throat, lips pursed awkwardly. "Uh...Thank you for dealing with the obstacles", you finally say. The monster pretends to ponder your words. "Hey now, don't play dumb with me. The conveniently deactivated bombs? The mutilated guards clumsily stuffed behind the door? I am a detective, after all."
You feel a thick tendril wrapping around your arm, and you turn to glance at the creature. His eyes of spiraling depths regard you intensely. A voice suddenly echoes in your head; is he trying to communicate with you? Deep, resounding, and imposing. "I am looking forward to our next case."
"Next case? Sorry pal, I work alone-" your throat clenches involuntarily. Somehow, your innards are flooded with a particular kind of certainty, dictating an ironclad truth: you do not have the option to refuse. You sigh, exasperated. "Fine! Have it your way. At least skip the fake mustache", you beg, then pause. You slap a second tentacle that has made its way under your shirt. "And avoid groping me when I'm thinking. You interrupt the little gray cells at work." You tap your temple to prove your point, and the eldritch God bows lightly. Of course.
He'll refrain himself until you're off work, Detective.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere monster#yandere monster x reader#yandere concept#yandere headcanons#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#monster x reader#monster x human#monster romance#monster boyfriend#eldritch god#yandere god#terato#monster fucker#yandere oc#yandere oc x reader
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–‘Paper stars’– Chris sturniolo.



in which... your boyfriend chris finds out you've got a praise kink.
warnings: none, suggestive at the end!!
‘hi lol, this is based on this meme chris reposted on instagram stories’
– ... you think is weird? – i ask in fear of freaking out my boyfriend chris, we haven't been dating for too long, we've been together for 3 weeks but we've been friends for about a year and a half, we haven't done anything beyond making out and now we are playing a game of questions, his question being if i have something i haven't told him yet.
– that you have a praise kink? no, i don't think it's weird, why would i? – he says looking at me with an expression i can't quite read.
– I don't know you're looking at me funny – i say honestly, chris is a really expressive guy and i can tell almost every time how he feels just by looking at his face but now he looks like he is deep in thought.
– it's your turn now, dude –
– oh yeah, what is something YOU haven't told me yet? – i question pointing at chris and a little louder when I say ‘you’ tilting my head when i see the same boy scratching his neck bringing his eyes at the ceiling looking like he's searching for an answer.
– ... i also have a praise kink – he says bringing his face to the side almost like trying to hide it.
– ... you do? – you question, you always thought chris looked like the type of guy to be more into degrading which makes you surprised by his answer.
– yeah, ya seem surprised by that... y'know what? I could show you right now – you didn't know what chris had under his sleeve, he was always full of random ass scenarios that no one would've guessed was on his mind.
i watched as the blue eyed boy got up from his position on the floor and started walking towards his bedside table opening the first drawer and grabbing something from it, i couldn't see what it was until chris turned around facing me... it was a paper full of bright yellow stars.
– what are you implying?... – i said completely confused about what chris was thinking.
– imma start giving ya paper stars for every thing you do good – he replies giggling at himself and the face that i give him after he answers.
– ... i swear you're not real, you are a complete idiot – i say as chris begins laughing non stop at his stupid joke making me start laughing with him, repeatedly hitting the floor with my fist while chris has to support himself with his bed to not fall to the ground in tears by how much he's laughing.
– oh my god... that was funny... okay – i say as i try to catch my breath.
– HELL YEAH, as soon as you confessed that I was thinking about doing it – chris says making me feel more calm knowing that it wasn't that he thought i was weird and that he was just trying to think something funny to say.
we start to get quiet and before i can say anything chris slowly gets on top of me beginning to caress the left side of my face with one of his hands while the other one holds my waist.
– seriously tho, i could start doing it... but you'll have to be a good girl, yeah? – he says giving me a smirk and sleepy eyes making my cheeks get the reddest they've ever been while i mumble something unable to get words out because of how flustered i got.
– cat got ya tongue kid? –

WHAT DO WE THINK? this is my first time ever posting a fanfic on tumblr and i actually don't love this but I really hope y'all do!!
#chrissturniolo#sturniolotriplets#mattsturniolo#nicksturniolo#sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo imagine#sturniolo fanfic#christopher owen sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matthew bernard sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo
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hihi! i love ur writing soso much!! could i request jamil, idia and jade with an s/o who has a flashy fashion sense? specifically alternative, if thats alright :3
IT’S MORE THAN ALRIGHT this was fun to do… maybe just a tiny bit self indulgent . i miss my emo phase dearly
𐙚 Jade Leech
Jade likes interesting people in general, having an unusual fashion style is just one out of many possible ways to catch his attention. NRC does have a lot of students with some pretty out there looks, but… if you stare for long enough, it’s too easy to recognize all the patterns.
One of his favorite things is seeing the different ways to incorporate whatever your style of choice is into your school uniform. The dress code isn’t *that* strict, sure, but it still doesn’t enable any particularly flashy looks all that easily— He does genuinely admire the creativity and effort you put into details like accessories, or how you do your hair and makeup. He’ll want to hear about the work that goes into it, even though it’s not anything he plans on personally getting into.
Likes how funny you two look like next to each other, especially when you’re off campus and you get to really dress up the way you like. He’ll happily stand next to you in whatever obscure shop or thrift store you like to shop at, in his crisp dress shirt and classy loafers. He’ll carry all your bags and just absolutely bask in the amusement from the weird looks others throw your way.
If you’re not really into DIY yet, Jade might be the reason you end up getting into it. Sooner or later, he’ll come across it online when researching the things you like — Which of course he’s going to do, he needs ideas for the gifts he wants to buy you — and his mind immediately starts to wander to what sorts of things you could do with it. He’s your number one business casual supporter.
𐙚 Jamil Viper
Honestly a little on the fence about it at first — Not because he’s judging you for how you look or anything! — but just on an instinctual response level. You’re so clearly going against Jamil’s own personal rules of blending into the crowd. It just kind of makes him feel a little uneasy, even though he does feel it’s sort of stupid to feel like that. He’s just imagining how it must be to get all that unprompted, unpredictable attention…
But when he gets past that feeling, he honestly likes it. It makes him feel more comfortable to stand out around you, he’ll still hold back when he actually has to for whatever reason, but he’s less guarded than he would be with others. Besides, it’s fun to hear you talk about how you style things, and if you’re into a music-based subculture he’ll definitely want to check out the stuff you listen to.
He can relate to the experience of sometimes taking a significant amount of time to get ready, even though his reason and outcome are both vastly different from yours. And he does use magic for things like styling his hair now, but he still had to learn how to do it manually before that! Jamil finds that he does like to get ready with you when you’re going out together.
When doing that, he finds out you two have more to talk about in the topic of fashion than he imagined. He definitely knows a thing or two about makeup, and while he’s a bit clueless on alternative hair styles, he can definitely teach you some of the magic he uses for doing his own— He’s curious about what sorts of looks you’ll come up with, if you’re able to speed up your routine.
𐙚 Idia Shroud
Honestly. He’s definitely that kind of guy who at least once posted some kind of meme about wanting a goth girlfriend. And you might not be exactly goth, or not exactly a girl, or even neither of those things— But the sentiment still applies. It’s not necessarily about that specific of a type of person, but rather about having a partner who radiates that sort of... confidence maybe? Just that energy of being so comfortable with standing out.
You probably will have one conversation about his “makeup” that ends a little disappointingly for you. Idia doesn’t really wear any, his face just looks like that, he tells you. No product recommendations from him, sadly… The look in your eyes after you hear that makes him want to get into it, though. He doesn’t want to stand out like you do, but, well. He already stands out even without trying, doesn’t he?
He doesn’t believe he’s doing it when he’s asking you about the places you shop. Even if your personal style isn’t really the “darker and edgier” sort of alternative (Like most gyaru substyles for example) that he ends up getting interested in, you’ll probably still know a thing or two about how to get that look, right? Idia stresses over and over that he doesn’t want anything too flashy or elaborate, just maybe some accessories or new shoes…
Idia will be really nervous to go shopping with you, if you two decide on doing that. He’s always a little anxious to go out, but there’s an extra serving of it because he knows he’s going to be trying something new— But he’d definitely end up feeling pretty at home in whatever the Twisted Wonderland equivalent of Hot Topic is. Fully committing to any subculture is a bit too much for him, at least right now, but if you want to get matching bracelets or something, he’ll be happy to do it.
if you like my work you can support me by commissioning me or tipping me on ko-fi ── ᵎᵎ ✦
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#jade leech#jamil viper#idia shroud#jade leech x reader#jamil viper x reader#idia shroud x reader#twst imagines#twst headcanons#lis writing
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