#basically. Recap but like. Awesome

[moontowerapologist]

Research - Exhibit One - Void

Transfer of The Child to its new Universe went off without a hitch

It has quickly accomodated to its new world once again

Current hypothesis: The Camoflage of its skin on the, what The Child perceives to be black, backdrop brings it comfort and a feeling of safety

The Child has formed a kinship with the inhabitants of its floating island

Confirming our suspicion that the first one to interact with The Child can easily embed itself onto it

Especially “NaviBree” has successfully embedded onto The Childs emotional center

The Child has finds “joy” watching Nature, it has become distressed by the vast blackness of the sky we’ve implemented for them. This is of special interest, please pay attention to The Child concering the Void

The Child has tripped and fallen to its first demise, it seems upset at its clumsiness, yet it is not questioning the nature of its death, or the following revival.

It feels embarassed by dying in such a silly way

The Child has tried to form a connection with “buntom”, despite “buntom”s disinterest and lack of reciprocation it is continuing to try. It does not question the difference in communication and language, though it does make an effort to understand The Child is failing deciphering the new language.

The Child is upset at not being met with kindness, it does not know why. This is upsetting to the Child.

The Child has found great enjoyment in Fishing

The Child is failing to understand the parameters of this universe. This distresses The Child.

“NaviBree” is leaving the original pack of The Child

This upsets The Child greatly. It does not understand why. This distresses It

The Child has learned what it’s like to lose someone temporarily

The Child has learned to be wary of “SonicMike7044” after an altercation

This altercation included “NaviBree”

The Child feels as if “SonicMike7044” is more important to “NaviBree” than it is.

This upsets The Child

The Child has found comfort in the rest of its Pack “ohnoitsoak” and “Moch_ila”

The Child has become curious of the last remaining pack “GoreClan”

The first meeting was inconclusive

The second meeting with “unidingo” left a very postitive impact on the child.

Please continue to monitor The Childs relationship with the members of “GoreClan”

The Child has been invited into “GoreClan” as a way to protect it from “SonicMike7044”

The Child is now considering both its original pack and “GoreClan” as its pack

The Child feels a murderous disdain for “NaviBree”

It seems this was caused by “NaviBree” leaving the original pack

The Child has once again falling to its death

It overestimated its abbilities and died during a “Flight” response against an otherwise harmless foe

This greatly upsets The Child. It wants to be more competent and dependable

After an unfortunate misunderstanding and lapse in judgement The Child has been killed by both “Sonicmike7044” and “FishieComics”

The Child does not understand the nature of these killings.

This upsets the Child

“NaviBree” has told The Child, that “NaviBree” does not want to leave the pack and is instead using “The Corvids” to the advantage of The Childs original pack

The Child does not believe “NaviBree”

This is the first time The Child has had doubts about the nature of the other inhabitants

The Child leaves its original pack to be closer to “GoreClan”

It does this because it feels that “GoreClan” has made more efforts towards The Child

The Child tried to steal the Lava of its original pack as a way to prove its loyalty to “GoreClan”

The Child has accepted the proposal of “NaviBree” to leave everything behind and live on a remote island

The Child believes this is a temporary endeavor, it is clearly not meant to be.

The Child helps “NaviBree” build the island out of view of the other inhabitants

The Child does not recognize “NaviBree” is not cooperating

The Child does not recognize “NaviBree” does not plan to let The Child leave this island

The Child does not understand the obsessive nature of “NaviBree”s approach

The Child is upset upon finding out “NaviBree” wanted to keep the child locked away on the island until the perceived end of time

The Child is running away from “Bree”

The Child has learned Gaslighting

The Child is afraid of the consequences

It perceives itself as having “failed” “GoreClan”

The Child returns to “GoreClan” shy and scared

It fears being thrown out of the pack or punished

The Child is upset at the idea of being dependant on others protection

We have sent The Child to a universe where it can see the Sun, Moon and Nature. This is to later view the effects that the lack of these sensations will have on The Childs psyche. It has not known these sensations beforehand. It has only heard of them.

After returning to the universe The Child is greatly upset at the lack of sun and it’s accompanying sensations

The Child has given itself to the Void twice in an attempt to reexperience the sensations.

The Child does not understand where it was

The Child is convinced it was a real event and not a dream

The Child has become Marked, two other members of “GoreClan” have also become Marked

The Child is handling the increased need for destruction very well.

The Child has to helplessly watch on as “GoreClan” kills members of its original pack

The Child does not understand. This upsets The Child

This causes The Child to desperately try and avoid conflict between “GoreClan” and its original pack

The Child has become obsessed with the idea of “Home”

Current Hypothesis: This is due to The Childs perceiving itself to fit into the black environment, and also due to its familiar bond with “Goreclan”

The Child is not questioning the disappearance of “Buntom” and the appearance of “sheeptom”

The Child has succesfully formed a minor bond with “Sheeptom”

The Child has become increasingly obsessed with the idea of killing “NaviBree”

The Child claims to have killed “NaviBree” by association as she had an unrelated accident near it

This pleases The Child greatly

The Childs psyche is showing signs of deterioration, it has become increasingly unstable. Monitor its development closely

The Child has started to try and comfort “NaviBree” as a strategy to get closer to Bree

The Child is doing this to later kill “NaviBree” in a more private setting as it is worried about the other inhabitants opinions

The Child has directly killed “NaviBree” by destroying the walkway “NaviBree” was stood upon

This excites The Child as no one seems to have noticed its act

The Child is scared of the consequences, it knows “SonicMike7044” might find out

The Child decides to pretend the Walkway whad been broken beforehand

The Child sucessfully lies

The Child has directly witnessed the death of “overlyechidna”

The Child does not seem to be bothered by it, might be due to pack mentality. Further monitoring needed.

We have kept The Child in stasis for a considerable amount of time. This is to test The Childs ability to grieve, as “unidingo” Leader of “GoreClan” will be “out of time”

The Child is overwhelmed

The Child is lost

The Child does not cry

The Child does not grieve

The Child does not understand

The Child does not know the meaning of this universe

The Child is losing its sense of self

The Child is losing its grip on reality

The Child is becoming manic

The Child is becoming violent

The Child is becoming reckless

The Child has undergone a significant change in personality

all of the members of “GoreClan” and The Childs original pack have run “out of time”

The Child does not process this

The Child has gone into one on one combat with “Greygery”

The Child is does not know the nature of combat.

Its first weapon breaks on impact

The Child has directly killed ”Greygery”

The Child has directly killed “Greygery”

The Child has become obsessed with the idea of a recursion

The Child is sure that the inhabitants will return in another life

The Child feels excitement at the thought of going through this over again

The Child has been killed by “Greygery”

The Child is upset at “joetagonist”s indecision

The Child is ridiculing “joetagonist” for this

The Child is fighting a losing battle against “FishieComics” and “Greygery”

The Child feels abandoned

The Child feels hepless

The Child is scared

The Child is trembling

The Child is crying

The Childs heart is beating fast

The Childs breath is ragged

The Child is beaming with joy

The Child is killed by “FishieComics”

The Child has run out of time.

[eyedoeluhn]

So uhhh what's been happening in BCF lately

It actually updated last night which I haven't read until now! Yay!

BCF Chapter 113.2 Interlude: Alan Barnes. Ah fuck. I almost wish it was filler. I'd rather eat glass. I have eaten glass and it was infinitely more pleasant than this. Its not like this b plot really matters to anything important so it's like the worst of both worlds.

For a quick recap of Emma's involvement, we haven't moved past any Winslow related plots. School was temporarily held on pause because of Joe's whole giant kaiju vs mecha fight that destroyed the city, but Taylor is still dealing with harassment. She went back to school with Emma and then decided to stand up for herself and then made a super cool awesome speech that #owned Emma so hard Emma attacked her. Joe watched this remotely from the wristwatch he gifted Taylor and then hacked into several other children's phones and leaked the video on Twitter and such. This went ultra viral and completely destroyed Emma's modeling career as basically every company made public statements about it and she was totally canceled. She missed out on modeling for the charity event his fashion summon did and he replaced her with his child robot thing Tetra who is so awesome and cool and epic that she totally overshadowed anything Emma could have done. Oh and he called the cops on her or something so she was arrested. However none of this was enough after all, Joe has returned to dunk on a child once more because he'd rather do this than save lives with his technology.

All of the fight happened largely in chapters 98 Finite Resolutions and 98.1 Interlude Taylor, Preamble Emma, Addendum Danny, and other chapters, however Joe has been aware that Emma is "bad news" for a while now because of his shard. Youd really think after establishing the fact that his shard has warped priorities he wouldn't trust it when it says some high school girl is the devil but the "fanon shard" honestly just seems like an excuse for Joe to already believe in spacebattler opinions and not have to waste time establishing then. Yawn. Oh, and the Protectorate are aware of Taylor's civilian identity, they worked it out from the video or something a while ago on 104.1 Interlude Hannah, Addendum Joe.

And oh my fucking god is 113.2 a DOOZY. BCF really just wanted to jack off about how awesome and moral Joe is, oh fucking man. Joe is one of the worst wormfic protagonists of all time already honestly and he spends all of his time sucking his own dick and letting people die unless he spontaneously develops a crush on them (Chen) i fucking guess but oh no Taylor was saaaad. She's literally fucking immortal now. Whatever. Okay.

Alan decides to head over to talk to Carol to try and manage the situation and then finds fucking Joe there in Apeiron garb just fucking hanging out. Because of course. What could possibly be more important than this. We have to spend the next 21 thousand words mauling this civilian. No other options. Emma must Suffer for her Sins. I imagine we're also gonna put them under 24/7 total surveillance.

He then talks to Alan about magazines about himself because hes cool and awesome or whatever and then goes let's read this one about Annette and then starts his ominous speech about her daughter. Joe by the way was one of Annette's students or something because I guess even Lord thought this was a little creepy without some personal connection but it really doesn't land. Alan then says "the unwritten rules" which Joe then goes ha, this is a unimportant school yard fight and not cape business. Anyway brining back from the Taylor discussion last chapter he accuses Emma of attempted murder because the locker was a biohazard and ecoterrorism and she's basically Bakuda.

Joe then tells Alan he lies to himself and he must be a very desirable lawyer for being able to believe anything basically calling him corrupt and Alan pauses for the 6th time now to think about how he could fucking die because of this conversation. And he could! I'm not gonna bother wasting breath on why this conversation is stupid but christ alive. This has already gotten an award BTW. Joe has had a bigger reaction to this than the Nine. Than to literally any other problem hes faced. It's really the most wormficy shit ever. Ugh. He brings up the flute. Joe you raging dick.

WHAT THE FUCK. Joe spawns in a SOLAR FLARE from a STAR and then tells Alan he wants to fucking kill him and Emma with this. WHAT. Fuck you Joe holy shit. Hes put more effort planning ways of torturing these two than into anything else. He has endbringer tier weapons literally made for Emma. I cannot make this up. I hate this fucking guy so bad. I hate him. Whatever.

This is basically porn for a sbsver. He also implies he soma'd Alan and is running a neural counterpart of him to predict his actions. What? Whatever. What the fuck? Why are we putting Alan into a simulation. Why? Fuck you. Whatever. WHAT?

Okay, so for some time now–by that I mean the chapter before the Bakuda fight–Joe's had a crossover companion insert named Alma and I'm not familiar with her source material outside or BCF but basically shes a dead little girl that's haunting some sort of psychic plane. She's been a negative character existing in maybe four scenes of attacking Joe and then offhand mentions of giving her gifts to placate her and thats a very very generous number. Now we've fucking summoned Alan to go meet the extremely powerful unstable dead little girl because of course she's upset about the locker. Why not. Why is she even in the Forge since Lord says he removed companions other than the Palico? Fuck you shes technically not a companion.

Okay man. Whatever. Joe continues to larp. Its hard to not laugh at his rants about the perversion of justice and abuses of power considering he is Joe and literally everything about Parian happened. He continues to threaten to kill Emma. By the way Joe turned into like a thirty foot tall cybernetic dragon creature to scream at Alan. What the fuck is your problem man. I gotta laugh at the fact that he was gonna trap Alan for months in a nightmare dimension. This reads like it was posted in 2017 for fucks sake. He then only decides not to (graciously) for Alma's sake and decides Emma is going to prison. Oh and Alan is being constantly surveilled 24/7 on literally every level. Cause fuck you. Joe why are you glazing yourself for violating Alan's mind with your mind copier. That was totally fucking unnecessary and wildly unethical. You treat snails better than this. Literal snails.

It ends with some glazing introspection about how cool and awesome the Forge is. Fucking amazing. If I reread this right now I could find something even more stupid than the general events and honestly I might later. This is genuinely one of the worst wornfics ever imo. The sheer length to just then take a massive shit in your lap with the same self righteous garbage you can scrap off of the side of the average op si is really just unmatched. Throughout all of this Joe and the narration made massive ovetures to justice and grand declarations and how furious he is and it's literally comical. This is like almost parody. I wish Joe died in a horrific car crash.

This was definitely difficult to get through. The Brian chapters mightve been worse but that was literally glaze over tech we've seen before for like three chapters straight and anything BCF does with aisha should land you on a watchlist. I can't wait for the next 4 chapters to be about nothing else but this and then 5 of filler haha. I jest–previous estimates placed us at about ten to fifteen chapters until the Slaughterhouse Nine but the handling of this does inflate the count. Plus I wouldn't put it past this fic to want to relax with some more filler soon. 2026 slaughterhouse 😭

[namelessdumbass]

Rite Here Rite Now

It was amazing and funny. Copia girlies and boys fucking won!

I expected different outcome, tbh. Tobias managed to surprise me and also made me a tiny bit sad (reasons will be explained in the spoilers below).

The film consists of like 95% of concert footage and 5% of off stage/plot stuff. The quality of sound and editing is just 🤌 I expected the live of Twenties to be good and gosh Ghost delivered. And Mummy Dust...Tobias let Mary Goore out! But i honestly prefer Terzo's version (CaD) better. Sorry not sorry haha. Ghouls/Ghoulettes footage. Everyone who loves them will be very veeeery well fed!

Dance Macabre live...i was'nt wrong when i called it a satanic gay party 😁

The movie is worth watching and i do hope Ghost releases it as soon as possible for all those who were not able to go.

The spoiler free review ends here. Don't read further if you don't want to spoil it for yourself. And please, don't copy them and paste it everywhere for the sake of ruining other people's fun! Seriously, don't fucking do that!

If you accidently clicked here, don't worry! spoilers will be below and you still have a chance to avoid them :)

Alriiiiight:

Movie starts with Saltarian who tells fans to record for the first 2 minutes, to show how happy they are etc and posted a qr code for fans to upload those recordings. I guess it will be put up on RHRN website. We'll see. There were also photos of fans who attended LA ritual. I fucking loved the person who showed up in a giant Plushia suit. I LOLed! Then fans were asked to put down the phones and enjoy the movie. The beginning was narrated Star Wars kinda style (a little bit) with the small recap of the chapters and about Copia's worries that he might die. And yes, it literally began in space lol. The movie is basically is like what we saw in small snippets Ghost posted earlier. Plot mixed with a really good show.

And the plot: -Short footage of Copia and Ghouls arriving. ALmost the whole set was the same as any other concert from Re-Imperatour + a few awesome exceptions. -Dews does that annoying thing with guitar, Rain stops him, takes his pick and throws it into the crowd and Dew...he freaking showed him YouSuck sticker on the backside of his guitar. Peak Dew moment! -Copia asked the right question about the Clery. He also does not quite understand what it does, why and where it goes. I suppose Tobias decided to thicken the Ghost lore a bit and will have more clarity in the nearest future. -Remember when Copia jumped at the end of the Watcher in the Sky? He ended up in one of those stage boxes (for equipment or something) and is taken to the stage B. While he's carried to it by Kevin he has a chat with Nihil's ghost. Nihil says he recorded not 2, but 3 songs. That probably means that we'll hear a new one. (UPD: the new song we heard during the credits, "The Future is a Foreign Land" is Nihil's 3rd song! Confirmed by Tobias himself in a new interview). He also tells Copia to breath in deep and then farts. -On the Stage B Copia sings "If You Have Ghosts". 3 Ghoulettes played piano and violins and the 4th one did the haunting ghost-like opera vocals. It was beatiful. Copia kissed her hand. -He then wore boxing robe and went next to crowd. Almost the whole scene was shown in the trailer. -Btw, remember that silly moment when Nihil's eyes were crossing? Well, Kevin was also included in that staring contest. -Twenties live. The skeletons, the performance and one of those skeletons who crawled between Dew's legs...that's hot. -Nihil calls Copia "son". Copia calls Nihil "Dad". Cardi will insult him later, don't worry. -Nihil/Seestor cartoon during MOAC. Yes, that's when Sis hit him with the car. Basically it's what happens after "Kiss the Go Goat" mv. Sister leaves and Nihil runs after her. "I'll never let you go". They end up kissing in a coffin on a graveyard , later Nihil wakes up naked in a bed in a motel and we see Sister leave. -There was a moment in a movie when we see Ashley (stage crew) bring Copia a new pair of shoes and put the on on his feet. Tobias, goddammit what the hell was that? :D -Seestor was a in wheelchair all the time -She and Nihil encouraged Copia throughout the whole movie and gave him a piece of advice. -About the baloon from the poster. Copia flies on it after finishing the set...or he imagined that because a few moments later after Nihil/Seestor flashbacks he ends up on the floor and watches Seestor die. All of the Ghouls and Ghoulettes also stood right next to her. -Copia has a twin brother -Copia didn't die and became the head the Clergy (Father Imperator or something like this). He found out about his new position from a letter Seestor left for him. -New song during credits (credits show dictators, assassinations, wars and the use of nuclear war). Years 1984 and 2024 mentioned. The song is not heavy. -Ghouls/Ghoulettes real names mentioned in the credits -Funny post credit scene with Copia. He had no piant on and had a new cool drip (with black jacket and red and black cross). Seestor is also a Ghost now. Tobia's children cameo. They're also Ghosts. -Papa V is teased the same way Copia was teased in a chapter 1. They even used the same music (Pro Memoria). No face reveal. Either he will be revealed in new Chapters or at some point during the new tour???

-aaaand my biggest disappointment: no footage of Primo, Secondo and Terzo. Literally ZERO.

I mean, Nihil is a Ghost, Seestor also became a Ghost, even Tobias' children made a cameo as Ghosts, but nothing for previous Papas? Really?! The same could have been done for them, but i guess Tobias doesn't care about them anymore :( And it hurts. I know that's my fault that i had so many expectations and hopes, but holy shit :( As a newbie who never saw previous Papas, i'm so sad i'll never get a chance to see them and there won't be any new footage of them. Being Terzo widow is so hard. Guess that's why i'm a bit salty Copia lives (sorry, guys, i like him, but i also hate him haha)

And yes, as it turned out the twins theory from Square Hammer was true...but not for Terzo 😭

I enjoyed the movie nevertheless. It's fun and kinda gives you an opportunity to see the band "live" if you've never been to a ritual before. And yes, the movies was'nt just about Papa IV and his fate, i believe it was also Tobias' message for us to enjoy the life rite here rite now! As i said, Copia's girlies and boys truly fucking won. Congrats, lads, your Papa lives and will live! I bet that feels amazing. Thanks for reading! P.S. since you know the plot, don't spoil it for the others please.

[imaginespazzi]

Thoughts on v. Creighton?

I'm not gonna do a full-blown recap (famous last words) but I feel like it was very much a tale of two halves. The first half was wonderful, amazing, spectacular. The 3rd quarter...I wish I could erase it from my memories.

All of this more or less applies to the whole weekend but basically:

Paige looks like March Paige (amazing, brilliant, immaculate)

Sarah looks like Sarah (wonderful, awesome, spectacular)

Azzi's shots aren't quite falling (though I actually think this is partially because she gets hot and then we go away from her to an extent + homegirl's gotta be tired with the way she's gotta run all over on defense) but her defense has been stellar.

Jana was a bright spot and Geno should have been giving her way more minutes and I don't know why he didn't.

Ice look okay? The three was nice but there's still some mishaps but overall, I actually thought gave some decent minutes.

Ash basically didn't do anything but the hustle is there so at least she wasn't a complete negative out there but we need a lot more offensively.

KK and KC combined for 10 turnovers...those two have got to figure shit out because I thought they regressed over the weekend. KK looks like pre-USC KK and KC looks like pre-Nova KC and we cannot afford both of them being this bad. And then of course this is on Geno too because why are you letting them do this instead of just giving the ball to Paige?

I really do hope this whole thing with Aubrey was in fact precautionary and she is fully good to go come NCAA tournament because we really, really need her.

Overall I think PSA had a great tournament and that's what you want from your stars but we're gonna need more from everyone else for this team to get to it's end goal.

[bonefall]

again looking over the reworked history what the hell happened with Ripwater, I wanna know. What *was* that? How did Riverclan kill it?

Oooooh, quite a request! Ripwater, Queen of the Lake, one of the episodes of BB!Po3!

Ripwater is a Wels Catfish, the largest freshwater fish in Europe. The biggest specimen EVER caught was just landed last year, in 2023, 9.4 feet long. It wasn't weighed, but smaller fish than this one have broken 300 pounds.

And it's not a good thing that we're catching so many big ones.

Wels catfish are extremely invasive across most of Europe, introduced for anglers who want to land record-setting catches. They're massive, intelligent carnivores, sometimes called the "freshwater orca" because they will lunge out of the water to catch land prey. They DESTROY the population of anything big enough to fit in its terrible mouth, including fish, amphibians, and even turtles.

They get that big from a mix of constant food and hot temperature. It's a sign that they're devastating their surroundings, and that nothing has been able to kill them for the decades it takes to get so large.

So of course, some dunderhead put them in British rivers, where they've been spreading upwards ever since. Thankfully they thrive better where it's warmer, so they're not too massive of a threat to BB's modeled regions in Northwestern England, but they're fucking coming.

Ripwater's name isn't an exaggeration. That's how they hunt. They gape their jaw and beat their fins like dragons, creating eddies and currents that suck their hapless prey in. When RiverClan names her, it's because they see her ripping the water in half. I was thinking about her recently, and came up with some new stuff. I'll take a brief break from my drafts to serve up some fragments for you.

[A gray cat with blue eyes, Lakepaw, later BB!Lakeheart, swims in bluegreen water surrounded by lilypads. Below her is the massive shadow of Ripwater, a gigantic Wels Catfish. Its eyes flash in the depths.]

SMALL RECAP OF BB!PO3: (to set the stage)

It is now a breather arc, just dedicated to some worldbuilding!

I feel pretty strongly that Po3's strength is how AWESOME of a slice-of-life arc it could have been. To this end, I removed the Kin of your Kin prophecy from it, until it's revealed only at the very end just before Cruel Season.

That's so I can focus on The Three and their adventures around the lake, without this big prophecy looming over them and making the lower-stakes conflicts look small.

Instead, the various episodes of Po3 are related to problems that their new home presents, with just a teeny bit of Sol's magical influence to spice things up.

While Lionpaw learns about the "meaning of strength" and ultimately learns a terrible lesson he will extend to his kits, and Jaypaw finds his limits and learns to prevent others from defining them for him, Hollypaw is grappling with Fire Alone and how to reconcile her grandfather's legacy with her strict dedication to the Warrior Code.

And SO we find ourselves in one of the earliest episodes of BB!Po3; Ripwater the River Demon. This is like... episode 3 or 4, it's a REALLY early one.

I'm just shuffling it around with ANOTHER RiverClan-centric episode; the Shinewater Plague. The oilspill from TNP is now going to be bumped up to Po3 so it's more about establishing Mothwing and her apprentice Willowpaw, to contrast Leafpool and her apprentice Hollypaw, before Holly swaps to being a warrior. Jaypaw completes warrior training before becoming a Cleric apprentice.

So I don't want them to be TOO close together. Maybe put Ripwater in Book 2 and have RiverClan comment that they don't really want to ask for help because of the last big event, Mistystar hates feeling indebted to ThunderClan.

After all, it could basically replace the "flood" episode from Canon Po3, which is often forgotten about anyway. I'm already having ShadowClan construct dams instead of RiverClan anyway...

ANYWAY RIPWATER

I want to start this episode off with Sol/Harry, who is unnamed, messing around near water. He has a bit of a fish motif going on that I want to establish, and I need to get him to start messing with the Clans good and early.

(Specifically his motif is going back and forth between the koi, also an invasive and notably domesticated species, and the atlantic salmon which is famous for its changing life cycle.)

The Wels Catfish is an invasive species to England, slowly making its way up the island from the South. The fish who will become Ripwater, at this point, is already HUGE but not cat-swallowing huge. She's an 80-pounder.

Sol hits her with some godly magic, which allows her to grow at a rapid rate.

The sort of thing where it wouldn't be COMPLETELY implausible. He just... helped it along.

When we get to her first true on-screen appearance interacting with RiverClan, she is nearly 300 pounds of monstrosity with a length of about 8 feet

I'm unsure how, exactly, ThunderClan comes to know of this. But I DO know that I want Hollypaw to be snooping, and heavily encouraged by her mentor Brackenfur to do so. So, somehow, SOMETHING starts going wrong across the lake and ThunderClan catches wind of it.

Thinking about it, this should probably be her first big action after swapping out of Cleric apprenticeship.

One of the few things she's missing about Clerichood is the way she could be close to Willowpaw without needing to sneak around so much. It's easier to just pass it off as "friendship" and "Clerics need to be close." Leafpool and Mothwing are a similar way.

Possibly work in that Hollypaw's also already seeing Heatherpaw in the tunnels, contrast the two things...

At this point, Hollypaw has a crush on Willowpaw, which is requited, but... it's kinda fading.

She still loves her like a friend, but she's liking Heatherpaw a lot more. It doesn't mean she doesn't CARE for Willowpaw, of course, but

Willowpaw is still IN love, and it's slowly becoming unrequited, when it didn't used to be.

And from RiverClan's POV...

The first disappearance is so sudden they have no idea what's happened. I'm planning for it to be Robinpaw.

(I go back and forth on if it's Robinpaw or Dapplepaw, but I'm leaning towards Robinpaw again, because I like Dapplenose too much to have her get killed off here.)

She went out clamming in the lake with her sisters, Lakepaw and Otterpaw, there was a swirl in the water, and that was it. She was gone.

Just like that.

She never came back up. RiverClan searched for her, following the currents, checking the shoreline, everything. It was like she vanished.

Mistystar is suspicious and doing everything in her power to figure out what happened, but... let's face it. It's the word of two apprentices, who were swimming alone, who swear Robinpaw just went under.

Misty JUST got done with the Shinewater Plague and isn't trying to make RiverClan look like it can't keep track of its own young. The most likely situation is that Robinpaw was sucked down by an undertow that the three of them were too inexperienced to recognize.

So... she's pretty adamant about not sharing this information until Robinpaw's body is found. Jaws Style. "We cannot let the other Clans be alarmed by this, else they might meddle in our affairs..."

(and she's still maybe a little paranoid that some snoop in another Clan is going to find out that Leopardstar wasn't killed by a rogue, y'know.)

I don't want it to be TOO much of a bloodbath, so I'm capping Ripwater's body count at three and just aiming for two deaths total.

I'm also going for a coincidence RiverClan is going to interpret as a pattern; this happens a lot, specifically, when they're hunting Freshwater Pearl Mussels.

Ripwater doesn't like the river as much as she likes the lake, but it has nothing to do with their clamming. They're just going to interpret it as such.

Anyway.

The next one she goes after was lucky. By some stroke, she opens her jaw, and the victim is able to grab onto something before they're sucked in. (Maybe toss in something here were it was Holly who was able to help save them.)

Since the WHOLE Po3 Apprentice Generation is going to be getting more focus, there needs to be more input from the RiverClan apprentices. Lakepaw and Otterpaw obviously need time here, but I also NEED to involve Ripplepaw, to establish how he's going to be seen as one of the strongest in RiverClan by OotS.

EDIT FROM THE FUTURE AS I FIGURED STUFF OUT:

It was Ripplepaw, Otterpaw, and their two mentors on a raft who were attacked next. They were fishing for mussels in a shallower part of the lake.

Otterpaw was tethered to the raft with a flax lead, so it wouldn't float off. Or just tugging it in her mouth. Either way she had a line.

When Ripwater attacks her, she is swallowed on the line like a worm on a hook

And it starts pulling the WHOLE RAFT down, just a crummy bundle of sticks

One of the mentors started shouting to cut the line, else it would drag all of them under, but Ripplepaw dives right down to beat its ass without telling them he's not gonna cut it

Hollypaw just rushed right in, didn't think about it, forgetting she was supposed to be trying to sneak around

Taking control as the natural leader she is, she ordered them to shut up and start pulling the opposite way

Underwater, Ripplepaw braced himself against the fish's lips, grabs Otter's tether, and YANKS

Abovewater, the adult warriors are pulling together, Holly grabs the raft and pulls too

Once their paws touch the bottom of the shallows it's over, one last HEAVE-HO and POP!

Otterpaw is FREE

And when it's finally known that the apprentices weren't mistaken, there's a monster in the water, THAT'S when the debate really starts up. Mistystar does NOT want ThunderClan meddling, and she'll already be pissed off that Hollypaw (and any OTHERS who tagged along with her, I wouldn't put it past Honeypaw to wriggle her little yellow butt into a later draft, or Lionpaw for his massive strength) witnessed something that's not her business.

There's a moment from canon I desperately want to keep; where Squirrelflight comes to fetch her daughter.

(more reason to just say this is replacing The Flood Episode from canon lmao)

It's such an interesting moment, and so forgotten. In a nutshell, Squilf is both furious and concerned that her kit went missing and meddled in another Clan's affairs, but... understands the impulse.

Because it's something she would have done.

So when she scolds Hollypaw, there's this aching feeling that she's scolding a younger version of herself. Calling her arrogant and disloyal, that an apprentice's opinions mean less, and that she needs to listen to "older and wiser" warriors within her own Clan.

In BB, I want to do something big with this. Firestar is the figurehead of Fire Alone, who encouraged Hollypaw's behavior through his deputy, Brackenfur, who he set as her mentor for a reason.

But Squirrelflight is being abused. By Brambleclaw.

This is one of the lowest points in Squirrelflight's life, and she is walking a line between self-worth, the warrior code, and her personal beliefs, just like her daughter is.

SO, since I'm already using Brambleclaw's enabling of Ashfur's physical abuse as one of the contributing factors to Hollyleaf's descent, I ALSO want to show how he acts on other characters.

Brambleclaw, Clan Culture, the pressures of their strength-obsessed social system. So it's gotta be Squirrelflight that reminds her, or even plants the seed in her head;

"What you did isn't consistent with the Warrior Code."

Maybe even have Mistystar herself state this earlier, to be echoed by Squirrelflight, offering an alternate perspective to Hollypaw. Make her realize that ThunderClan's political leanings are not universal or even popular.

But when Hollypaw comes back to ThunderClan, whoever set her to be a snoop wants her to spill the beans. This is also a big WIP part, as Hollypaw struggles with if she's going to obey or not, and I still need to set all the political "players" in this moment.

I know for sure, though, that Firestar's IMMEDIATE desire is to meddle like it's an episode of Scooby-Doo. Though he's savvy enough to be smart about how he phrases it and what actions he takes, his ultimate goal is to put his little cheeto-dust paws all over this. And Hollypaw is starting to question how appropriate that actually is.

This is where it starts to really be a rip in Holly's mind. Clans aren't JUST big, blanket groups with united opinions, they're collections of individuals. Mistystar doesn't want meddling, but Willowpaw is in danger. Otterpaw and Lakepaw went all that time without being believed, after they watched their sister die, because they're lowly apprentices like her. Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw are angry and disappointed, while Firestar and Brackenfur are secretly lathering her in praise.

Now imagine me standing in front of a big board where I'm writing ??? because there's a missing chunk here.

I need to connect THIS part to what comes next, which is where ThunderClan DOES come in and help out. Here's the thought process going on in RiverClan;

Willowpaw comes in to do something important. She adores Hollypaw, knows her value as a Cleric, and knows that StarClan can sway Mistystar.

I want her to have a couple of pieces of a vision... BUT. She decides to interpret it in a way that's convenient, and add a few details.

It's not a tooootal lie lmao. It's just 75% true.

This is the true power of Clerics, when they realize it. No one can actually challenge them without just ignoring them or stripping them of power. They are accountable to StarClan alone.

A mentor simply doesn't say this out loud to their apprentice. It's a quiet secret. And Willowpaw just realized it.

and thinking about it... this should be the thing that finally breaks the budding romance Holly and Willow had. Holly is sickened by this, when Willow confesses how she convinced RiverClan to work with ThunderClan.

But, without even being a full Warrior, the apprentice leverages her power as Cleric of RiverClan, and 200 skill points of Improv Acting, to tell them these things;

"StarClan is so angry with us that they've sent a hog to the water! It's why they've sent a ThunderClan apprentice, we must work with them to eliminate the beast that lurks in our waters. With spears and plans, we must hunt it honorably!"

(Mistystar is defensive, but it's not known why) "We haven't disobeyed StarClan in any way. We'd already accepted their help once before, when sickness drove us to weakness, and it's only let them think they can disrespect our borders as they please. This can't be the holy will of our ancestors."

"It's-- We've been disrespecting this bountiful new land that they've so generously given us. That's what the pile of shells in my dream was. Think about it! The last attack was on the shore where we collect mussels. The second attack was on a cat latched to a raft, and it was only the tether that saved them. And the first..."

IVE GOT AN IDEA, Robin, Lake, and Otter WEREN'T clamming when they were attacked. She gestures over to Lake, knowing that if she doesn't back her up, the theory crumbles.

(Otter is in the Cleric's den, unconscious.)

Lake hesitates, not wanting to lie. Willow jumps back in,

"It's why Otterpaw was attacked," does those little jazz-hands to be like 'come in bitch work with me,' "And it's why Lakepaw has to be involved in killing it, to end what she started, and appease StarClan."

Lakepaw more like I LIKE-what-you-just-saidpaw, "It's true, we were so ashamed to admit it, Mistystar, this is all MY fault, I wanted my siblings to dig up mussels, PLEASE let me atone by stabbing the fish to death"

AND AFTER THAT IT'S NOODLIN' TIME

Mistystar, begrudgingly, accepts Firestar's help, or perhaps reaches out to him. Ripwater is a "Hog in the Lake," a beast too big for them to kill honorably on their own.

ThunderClan is the ONLY Clan that uses spears, and only for boar hunts. To protect themselves and to give their quarry a quicker death.

No other Clan touches weapons for dishonor reasons, as they're heavily associated with the demon Shredtail.

I should have Willowpaw explain her half-truth to Hollypaw here, and it's where Hollypaw just... so very suddenly can't look at Willowpaw the same way.

Jaypaw would definitely face an ableist moment from someone, but it's going to have to be one of those times where he accepts that there IS a very real limit to his ability here. Spears are range-weapons and his whiskers don't reach that far. He can't tell where he's stabbing, and the water is going to make it too hard to smell where Ripwater's dangerous mouth is. He can't be chosen for this hunt.

Meanwhile Lionpaw learns from Willowpelt how to make a spear and it is one of the most satisfying things he's ever done in his life, he's like "this is so awesome oh my god i love weapons"

just gently setting up that he's going to eventually become ThunderClan's head of hunting, and also that he's a lil violent

I feel like him and Lakepaw should hit it off a little because they both think the idea of stabbing a fish in the face is super cool, only for someone to growl at them that they shouldn't be enjoying themselves so much

Maybe Blackclaw, fuck that guy

(absolute tangent but BB!Lionblaze is kind of evolving into a little dork and I love that for him. Local himbo only capable of making friends or enemies, all Clanwide opinions on him are polarized, more at 11)

THE PLAN

So how DO they kill that thing? First of all, it's all about strategy.

Immediately they started making a couple of specialized spears. Most spears they make are exclusively for boar-hunting, so they have a distinctive "lug" that prevents a boar from impaling itself down the shaft to get you.

Someone in RiverClan explains that you don't want a fish having the chance to get off a claw. If Ripwater escapes, they might not find her again until she kills someone else

The solution is that these need to be custom-made, with special claw-shaped prongs, so they're chevron ^ shapes instead of tear-drop points. They stab in, and don't pull out.

So they need to make spears from scratch, which is an intensive process, and they don't have time to waste. RiverClan doesn't want to hunt by water that has a chance of having a freshwater orca spawn and drag you in; they'll starve

And there's only so many artisans in TC that can MAKE spears. Glue, twine, shafts, blades... these are all things that take hours of labor to create.

And MORE IMPORTANTLY, they realized from the Raft Rescue that a tether, attached to a floating object, can be very useful. Each weapon has rope tied through it and is tethered to a raft-- which is even MORE intensive, RiverClan had to repurpose several nets to create so many lines, and they only own three rafts, so the rest have driftwood.

So they only have time to create 3 special water-spears, and bring in 2 modified boar-spears.

Lionpaw is like visibly disappointed he can't have one lmao

The only apprentice given a spear is... Lakepaw. And it's a boar-spear

Because she's gonna be bait. They believe the litter is cursed for their "sin" and she'll be the next target.

But still, they chum up the water near the last sighting with blood and crowfood, like hog slop, and wait.

(Heavy WIP stuff here as we get to a play-by-play I haven't fully figured out yet)

Their plan is to get it on the shore as quickly as possible.

Four cats could pull Otterpaw from its mouth, so 5 spearcats and a dozen strong warriors could pull it onto the shore. Surely.

shorely.

It comes as expected, lunging at Lakepaw. She leaps back and tries to use her spear on it, but she is NOT properly trained with it, she stabs its face, but can't break the skull

RiverClan manages to toss a net at the beast, but it's NOT heavy enough

And they managed to get LAKEPAW with it, pressing her to the beast, her spear is dropped into the water

Someone shouts that it swims like an eel, able to just reverse course unlike a REAL fish which must turn

In the panic, warriors start mobbing it.

she thrashes, and splashes and the net is barely holding her back at all

She smashes a warrior with her tail, buffs another with her powerful head

She's stabbed in her side by a ThunderClan warrior (probably Sandstorm), and she turns on the raft they're standing on, breeching and SMASHING it to bits. Lionpaw and the rest of the cats on this raft get dunked

In the water, ThunderClan cats are useless, and RiverClan cats can't properly handle spears.

Someone from RiverClan, probably Blackclaw, tries to free Lakepaw but is scooped up in Ripwater's mouth.

He's screeching and yowling and trying to hold onto its upper jaw, regularly cut off as she dives under

When Willowpelt gets her spear in, she holds onto that damn stick with her LIFE, getting swung around and dunked in the water and then going back up into the air

Thornclaw, holding the other boar-spear, aims for its tail

But it's not enough; Even with several warriors of RiverClan, five spears, a net, and the weight of the two remaining rafts, Ripwater's managing to pull them towards the depths

She's too big to bite, too large to claw, and too strong to hold down

LIONPAW TIME

He grabs the spear that Lakepaw dropped

Ripplepaw seems to zoom right passed him, running away from the fish. He thinks he must be some kind of coward, the fight's NOT OVER YET!! WE NEED TO HELP LAKEPAW

(In a later draft I might have Lionpaw be on the smashed raft, and Ripplepaw brings the spear to him before turning and bolting back to shore. Either way he doesn't explain himself)

He paddles near one of the rafts, and is pulled up onto it

Firestar calls him a WONDERFUL BOY for bringing the spear

Lionpaw mumbles something enthusiastic around the stick in his mouth, wriggles his butt, and jumps back into the water

Grabbing the net sticking to Ripwater and using it like tree bark, he pulls himself on

Bites the spear by the lug like a handle

And stabs it in like a knife

But it's already starting to pull out, too shallow

Filled with anger and resolve, he bites the shaft, and PUSHES

Harder and harder and harder until there's a crackle, the twine breaks loose, and the lug snaps

The rest of the spear slips in as if Ripwater's made of butter

Figuring that's probably deep enough, he lets go of the net, breaching the surface, sputtering and hacking

He's about to dive again to go get Lakepaw, but to his surprise, she breaks the water next to him

and then he feels the fish bump his paws

His name is called from the shore, and there's Hollypaw and Ripplepaw waving. Ripplepaw TOOK HIS SPEAR'S ROPE. Like a GUY WHO THINKS.

Now there was a team of cats on the shore, all the spent warriors who got thrown off, pulling Ripwater to the shore.

And from the feeling of slimy fish under his paws, it seemed like her fight had been all but spent.

And more cats were swimming to shore now, with the ropes attached to the other spears.

Once on the shore, they're able to discover that, tragically, Blackclaw has died. Mistystar in particular looks deeply torn by this, as their relationship was notoriously toxic. But still, he had been the father of her children, and drowned trying to save a Clanmate. She jumps up onto the massive fish, giving a speech about sacrifice, how Blackclaw and Robinpaw would be honored, and that RiverClan has learned its valuable lesson.

Ripwater was symbolic; it's the greed they had unleashed upon the lake by over-exploiting one resource. From now on, they would be respectful of StarClan's bounty. She thanks ThunderClan for helping to fulfill a prophecy, and offers that their debt be repaid by splitting the meat of the hunt.

Hollypaw, internally: "Oh she's doing that on purpose. She knows ThunderClan hates fish and it would be rude to refuse."

Firestar: "well. how could we refuse."

Sandstorm, quietly, in the distance: "easily actually ew"

CLOSING STUFF

I kinda want some kind of "epilogue festival" where the two Clans legitimately celebrate with a somewhat somber meal sharing. Some of these episodes in Po3 will result in lasting traditions and holidays that are celebrated annually.

At that little "fish festival," it works for Holly to officially break it off with poor Willow, to leave this episode off on a bit of a sad note.

This was one of the first times Lionpaw's power becomes obvious, and it's the sort of thing that wasn't really noticed. I figure it would be good for Lakepaw to ask how that lug snapped, she could barely even get the spearhead in. Lionpaw just brags and says it must be because he's SUPER STRONG.

For some reason he's just making a ton of friends whenever I write these out, I think I'm going to lean into it. Lionpaw's got friends when he's a kid lmao, starts losing them over time as he gets more violent.

It's probably because I really need a comic relief in The Three's dynamic. Hollypaw is very dramatic, Jaypaw is dealing with legitimately stressful social issues, and Lionpaw is violent. Someone has to lighten the mood up a little and it's probably because he's The California Girl himself lmao

At this fish festival he also discovers fish isn't actually that bad. Everyone's being weird about this. It's not really that slimy. It's got a strong taste but that's kinda nice, actually?

Could use some berries but like... "damn why don't we do this more often. this would go great with blackberries."

Ripplepaw: "You think so? I can taste sweetness, can I try to make it at home and tell you how it works out at the next Gathering?"

Lionpaw: "It's not hard, you just mash the berries and stew them in a little water before pouring it over your meat. I learned it from Willowpelt, she's got a mad sweet tooth."

Lakepaw: "No offense Lionpaw, but I always thought you were a total lunkhead. I never thought you'd like, cook?"

Lionpaw: "I mean not really, I'm an awful cook, I can just make simple stuff. Willowpelt's just nice enough to be patient with me, my mentor Ashfur says if I can learn something anyone can, haha."

Just a nice little moment for him.

Blackclaw is being mourned in the mortal plane, but secretly, getting a SCATHING trial up in StarClan. His death was heroic, but his ENTIRE LIFE was treacherous.

From teaching Hawkfrost to follow in his father's pawsteps, to joining him in WindClan's Civil War, and his constant arguing and undermining of Mistyfoot back when she was just a deputy trying to do the right thing.

He goes on trial for a bunch of things he did in TigerClan, too, facing his victims who took his misdeeds to their graves. He's not the only cat in RiverClan who is getting a review like this.

Leopardstar is already in the Dark Forest, and soon, Blackclaw's sent there too.

I decided to kill off Blackclaw here so he could have a VERY cool Land Mar;

(context: all Dark Forest demons now get a cool little evil playset area just for them, where they spawn into after they're thrown out of StarClan. These are called Land Mars)

It's still unnamed, but it's basically an even BIGGER Ripwater. It goes above and below the river and lakes of the Dark Forest, popping up in any body of water big enough to hold her.

[coffeegnomee]

HAIII ^_^ so I've wanted to get into princezam since like. November last year but i got scared away by the sheer amount of streams i saw omg?? im wondering if u could help but its okay if not /gen

for a little context i VERYY recently got into lifesteal (like this week) (mainly clownpierce + a few squiddo kab and branzy videos) and im really interested in watching zam bc i fw him so heavy but. idk where to start ? like i want to get into his lore and watch his stuff and whatever #toxic yaoi / yuri (whatever the hell devotion duo is) he has going on but i physically don't have the time to watch like 200 streams yk💔💔 im mainly interested in whatever the hell was happening in s4 (bc ive seen ?? quite a few references to his s4 idk why or how) but in general !! like s4, maybe s5 and def s6! Also curious like . what UU + KSMP is?? SORRY im really new to this side bc I've only seen like 1 oomf yap ab ls on their private but. are those worth getting into and more importantly is it easy 😭because time is a constraint for me YEAH OKAY IM SORRY FOR THE PARAGRAPH KSHSJSHSHSH okay baiii

ok this was asked like two weeks ago, you probably already figured it out. But devotions specifically is primarily experienced through streams. Both aren't good at making videos about their plots or about making them nearly as impactful as it is when you see it unfold.

For a stream breakdown of s4 castle arc when Mapicc stalked and hunted Zam there's a doc made by @mapicccc (who is like The Devotions person. literally gave them the name). you can see it here

And then a google doc of a general s4 breakdown of streams by @myrmica that is here. It's incredibly well fleshed out for everything that happened in s4.

Devotions is Complicated. But it is by far my absolute favorite minecraft story ever told. It is literally well worth the hundreds of hours of streams. It is constantly expanding and unfolding.

Though anywhere you jump in is good, like Zam just recapped pretty much everything you needed to know about him and Mapicc in his coming back stream (Born Again). Mapicc was always there for him. Mapicc destroyed Zaun. Mapicc has been broken by this season. Zam desperately wants him around. If you just join in you'll figure it out sooner or later. He's always reminiscing and analyzing the past with chat. Honestly discovering it as you go can be really rewarding in itself. And Zam has so much more lore than just with Mapicc, but I'll just focus on devotion duo since you specifically called it out.

For a little arc by arc breakdown, streams were archived around the end of s3, but zam and mapicc have been a duo since zam joined in s2. They did a lot together that is lost to time. At the end of s3 they clip farmed with Spoke who was spawning withers in their bases. Basically two silly friends having fun in minecraft.

s4 was where it started to get complicated. Zam joined a month late and Mapicc was already teamed with Ro and doing a duo thing with him. But Zam eventually joined their team. Mapicc and Ro (Duality duo) removed the whole end island, then made a spawn prison, then were Medusa (turning spawn builds to obby). Zam joined near the end of Medusa. The team was called Team Awesome.

After Medusa, the team got back up to their usual shenanigans of killing people for any reason at all. Zam has a massive bloodlust the second fighting starts, so all it would take is one suggestion from Mapicc and his bloodlust and next thing you know he and Mapicc would go on rampages together. Two bloodthirsty friends out on the hunt.

But over the night, Zam would be filled with regrets about how much murder he was doing. But one night they attacked Subz and blew up his whole base and Zam jumped into the fight making it an unfair 2v1 and Subz died.

Because of that event, and because they broke all Subz' chests of quartz that he needed for a future build, TA decided to dupe. It created a whole war, but by the end of it Zam was sickened by the fact that they had such an unfair advantage over the server. He wanted to leave the team, so he betrayed Mapicc (and Ro) and retreated to his sanctuary castle in the snow.

Mapicc found him on the first day and would come back day after day to torment him because he left the team and betrayed him. That's the castle arc.

Eventually Zam got banned by Mapicc (on accident) and Mapicc revived him (saying he was not worth being banned), but it left Zam terrified of Mapicc and on one heart. He called Subz for help and gave him his story and Subz took him in (starting the Eclipse arc, the other widely loves and talked about arc. Eclipse is the big Zam arc that has ripples to today as well).

Mapicc was pissed Zam had protection now but would still go hunt him down. One time he jumped Zam while he was using villager and it scared him for life (also cause clown did the same thing in s3) Eventually they had a 1v1 where Spoke spawned a warden in (#wormhole) and then had another 1v1 to really settle the score and Zam won.

The wormhole was upon them and there was an uneasy peace between devotions, Zam was going Through it with Eclipse and the fact that they had exploits too. Eventually he would betray eclipse and join Bacon and Planet, eventually betraying/leaving them to join Spoke for the wormhole bc Pangi trapped him in bedrock. A lot happened end of s4.

But Mapicc was teamed with Spoke already, so devotions found themselves fighting side by side again, here at the end of the world. They ended the server together, jumping into two portals to ensure that it would be destroyed.

s5 mapicc and zam started not on the same team, there was some conflicts between them, some fights. Eventually Zam took a 3 month break and Mapicc was the one to tip the scales and get him back on, running a poll in his chat asking them if they wanted zam to start streaming again. Obv chat said yes.

Mapicc had started the Abyss, and so Zam joined right on, the two (and Bacon) having the goal to drop every player into the void bc they could and to start conflict bc the server was dead. Eventually Jumper and Pentar would be added to the team. The Abyss arc was great devotions time, Mapicc and Zam fought together a lot and Mapicc hung out in vc to keep zam company while he built the freakinator, the bedrock breaker.

But jumper betrayed. And devotions were pushed closer together because of the common pain of the betrayal. They went on a months long mission to kill Minute and Jumper, fighting countless battles and encouraging each other when they lost hope. Eventually Zam decided he needed more hearts to be of more help to Mapicc, and he killed 4c. The shock and bloodlust from killing an innocent player spiraled him into contemplating spawn killing pangi over and over and all he could do was laugh. And so he became the Joker. He gave up on pvp more or less and took Minute in a psychological and yap battle. But all the time, Mapicc was left a little bit on the side. They were still teamed and still plotting to end the server with Bacon, but Zam did the Joker arc on his own bc Mapicc didn't express interest. Eventually Mapicc would say, bitterly, that he had to find out the next day that Zam had done something.

Zam got completely caught up in being the Joker (it was a fantastic arc) to the point of getting himself banned by Minute's team. He had always been taunting them to kill him if they wanted him to stop. And then they did. But it left Mapicc alone.

Mapicc took up the mantle for Zam for a bit, but Zam was banned. Mapicc made a plan to get Zam back to give a blessing and curse (long story) but Zam was so over the season and so character coded that he blessed minute with fire res (which was pointless bc Minute had 64 god apples). That was the final straw. Mapicc told Zam he felt like Zam betrayed him. Zam went into a panic bc it was his one goal this season not to betray and now he had betrayed Mapicc of all people?? So he literally sold his soul to every member he could convince to get Mapicc and the team more blessings (promising any IOU for s6). He got Pangi's account and later Spepticle's account to be able to keep fighting with Mapicc. Eventually they won the season finale and banned the other team.

s6 starts and Zam is paralyzed with remorse over being so evil as the Joker and everything before. And so very done with pvp after trying to kill Minute for so long. So he becomes a pacifist. No fighting at all. It's a great idea, except that all Mapicc is is fighting. By becoming pacifist he directly broke so much of what Mapicc relied on with devotions. But the two love each other so much that both are respectful of each other's paths. But this season has been The Devotions season of all time. So much pain and joy, so many conversations, trying to get on the same page, each wanting their partner back but being too different this time. Deciding to be teammates despite other teams, but even that isn't enough.

Early on Mpaicc killed Zam 3 times for getting Spoke killed, and found that Zam is fully a pacifist and won't fight back. So he stalks him for over a month, listening into his conversations, convinced that Zam is just faking it. (He made a video on it, fantastic devotions content) He goads Zam into fighting him but Zam escapes, he tries to drive him crazy with noise machines, but nothing works.

Eventually Mapicc decides that he would rather have Zam as a teammate than enemy and they end the arc in an alliance.

Mane (and wemmbu) starts blowing up spawn and Zam decides that he has to fight and be a protector of lifesteal, not just be pacifist. Mapicc gets really excited and they fight together. But there is some tension in this time, Zam is using a knockback sword and it feels like to Mapicc that he just calls Mapicc in to fight, as a sword, instead of as a friend. Every time Mapicc wants to kill anyone besides Mane or Flame, Zam holds him back. Tensions build slowly until Zam tells Mapicc that he has a new teammate: Derap.

This sends Mapicc into a spiral and eventually he starts Mawn, Mapicc Spawn. Flame joins him so he can have power. It's an arc that is Not about Zam while being entirely and completely about Zam. Absolute denial from Mapicc. But Mapicc also just needs a solo arc, he needs to do something, he doesn't need Zam, he just likes having Zam, but Zam has Derap. So he's both jealous and indifferent. He becomes convinced that Zam is opposing Mawn and starts fighting Zam, eventually dropping wardens all over Zam and Derap's area, Zaun. But Zam gets him into call and tries to convince him that he is not at all opposing him and in fact has never wanted to oppose him ever. He just can't join Mawn bc it goes against his oath, but he won't oppose it either. They resolve the arc and end teammates.

But Mapicc makes a video saying they weren't. And then Zam went on break for personal reasons and was unable to log on for months. But in the break Mapicc got the server's only mace. Finally proved himself, finally did something really good for his team and something that would bring more fun pvp.

But instead, within a week, SB duped the mace, gave it Clown and Mane making the most overpowered team of all time. Flame joined Mapicc and together they would defeat Subz/fight together against Mane and co. But Flame noted his logout spot in the End. And revealed that he was always teamed with Mane (his bestie) and they made a hole to the void. When Mapicc logged back on he died instantly. No battle. No fight.

Mapicc is entirely about the pvp, about the hunt, about the honor of the battle. Everything devotions used to go back to them fighting. Either together or with each other.

And nobody fought him. And Zam was gone. Unable to log on. Mapicc broke.

And now Zam returns and realizes not only that Mapicc needed him, that he abandoned him, that Mapicc went through hell, but that Mapicc was always the one to cheer him up. Without him, what is lifesteal? They may always fight each other every season, but he always sees Mapicc more of a friend than enemy. He desperately wants him around.

And that's where we end up.

[lightreader1]

Fanfic idea- Supernatural Atsushi AU part 3

Note: I just want to thank @Venelona for being an awesome friend that had been entertaining my long winded ramblings and hyper fixations about their post lol. 

Venny you are awesome and your art rocks! 

Anyways technically this idea could stand alone as its own thing but for context on this Drabble please click here for part 1:  https://www.tumblr.com/lightreader1/779777145352454144/fanfic-idea-supernatural-atsushi-au-part-1-note?source=share 

Aaand here is part 2:  https://www.tumblr.com/lightreader1/779910843506769920/fanfic-idea-supernatural-atsushi-au-part-2-note?source=share 

Anyways again I hope y’all enjoy reading and leave a comment if you are so inclined! : D

Little extra note but I love comments and 99% of the time I will reply to them. =w= 

Also warning this is probably the longest ramble I have done yet. 

————————————————————————————————————

Prompt: Atsushi is a tiger yokai that had been sealed into a tree and now is in a kind of weird love triangle with two of the port mafia’s most dangerous executives. 

Actual idea- 

I fell like a quick recap is in order but Atsushi is a tiger yokai who fell in love with an Oni, they lived a rather happy and peaceful life until some cowardly yokai decided to get rid of Atsushi so he wouldn’t have Arahbahki get revenge for their cruelty to the tiger. 

This plan back fires big time so that while Atsushi was sealed into a tree in a near death state his lover went mad with rage and basically obliterated the yokai population before dying himself. 

This gave humans the chance to become the ruling species and due to the influx of magic thanks to all the dead yokai, some humans started to gain abilities. 

———————————————————————— 

Later on Atsushi was accidentally unsealed from the tree by port mafia executive “demon prodigy” Osamu Dazai. 

Feeling a mixture of joy and gratitude to the human who unsealed him from his hell Atsushi wants to repay Dazai by offering both himself and his abilities for the human to use however he wishes. 

Granted the only thing is that Atsushi refuses to do is kill Dazai or let him die, which is very annoying for Dazai since his hobby is suicide. 

(Extra note but as an effect of being sealed for so long Atsushi’s lack of magic essentially makes him a ghost unless he puts in effort to keep his body stable. Doing things like healing, transforming, and regeneration takes energy that he regains via sleeping. Though the exceptions to the ghost thing are specific ability users like Dazai and Chuuya.)

Dazai keeps getting annoyed at Atsushi and Atsushi starts to learn how much of how his savior isn’t really a good man. 

It all comes to a point where Dazai complains about another failed attempt thanks to Atsushi, Atsushi kinda loses it for a second. 

When they return home to the shipping container and Atsushi pins Dazai down to the bed.

His usually vibrant gold and violet eyes look cold and lifeless as the tiger leans down close enough to Dazai’s face that he can feel his warm breath against his lips.

Atsushi: “Do you really want to die so badly, Dazai-san? I grant you death, make it quick and painless just as you desire.”

Dazai smirks and tries to move his arms but Atsushi’s grip is iron.

Dazai: “Ohh~ Not gunna lie that sounds very tempting Atsushi-kun~”

I can imagine Atsushi’s lips trembling slightly as he leans down and puts a clawed hand agains Dazai’s neck, letting his nails scrape against his skin drawing the a few drops of blood.

And Dazai shivers at the feeling when Atsushi leans to whisper into his ear.

Atsushi: “I understand that need, that desire to let everything fall away so you can feel peace. I wished for it too while I was sealed away. But I have a condition.” 

I can imagine Atsushi leaning down to lick away the blood, healing the wound in the process and Dazai swallows looking down at his little tiger. 

Dazai: “And what’s that condition kitten?”  

Dazai’s whispers and shivers at the responding kiss to his neck before Atsushi moves up to place another kiss on Dazai’s cheek.  The tiger now has his entire weight on Dazai, but curls up so his head is right above the human’s heart, listening to his fast thump thump thump.

Atsushi: “All I want is more time. For so long I was alone, trapped in my own mind with nothing but darkness. It was horrible, a hell that I thought I would never be able to escape. But you saved me.” 

I can imagine Atsushi looking up at Dazai with tired eyes and a sad smile, and Dazai he doesn’t want to see his tiger so broken.

Atsushi: “I-I’ll give you everything. My loyalty, my body, my ability. Everything, just please please wait. You brought me back into this world of light. Don’t abandon me when just being around you makes me want to live again.”

Atsushi cuddles in closer and Dazai can feel the wetness against his shirt. 

He sighs before wrapping his arms around the broken thing resting against him.

Dazai: “Your really not playing fair Atsushi-kun being so greedy~ But fine, I’ll wait.”

Atsushi looks up to him the spark in his eyes returning again as he smiles

Atsushi: “Thank you”

Dazai: “Yes yes, you can thank me later. Now can you please get off? As….exciting as this has been I still prefer women.”

Dazai blushes slightly as Atsushi’s just smiles at him before placing another chaste kiss at the corner of his mouth and snuggling more into his chest.

Atsushi: No, you’re too comfortable. Besides if gender is the issue then I’ll just transform when I have more energy.

Dazai still blushing at the kiss before registering what Atsushi said

Dazai:……wait what?!

Atsushi just snuggles closer ignoring Dazai’s bi-panic

(And yes Dazai did think Atsushi pinning him down and licking his blood was sexy as hell. This is where he begins to question his sexuality because of his sexy tiger boy.) 

———————————————————————————————————

Over time both Atsushi and Dazai grow closer as their lives become more domestic.

He’s amused by Dazai’s childish antics.

Exasperated when the man pushes his paperwork onto him (steep learning curve given that Dazai had to teach him how to do said paperwork).

And he want to bite him whenever the man flirts with a random women in front of him.

(He does end up nipping Dazai a few times and refusing to heal him no matter how much the human complains about it. Which is a bluff Dazai learns that he does have a biting kink lol.)

He knows that Dazai can be cruel and calculating, he knows that his human probably doesn’t really care about him. That he is just using him for his abilities and the fact that Atsushi will attack anyone that harms him.

It hurts a little but Atsushi accepts this.

He finds himself loving his Dazai, faults and all and even if his feelings are unrequited he is content. 

He starts to find peace in this new life, he still mourns the loss of his old life and love but is also finding happiness in his new routines with the mafioso. 

But then Dazai gets assigned a mission by his “boss”, and Dazai brings him along and complains all about a “slug”.

——————————————————————— 

Atsushi is amused, walking along side Dazai invisibly smiling while listening to his silly human rant about his co-worker. 

It’s cute and makes Atsushi curious about who could’ve made his usually calm and composed human so irate. 

He stifles a giggle as Dazai starts talking about how he shouldn’t get too close to the “slug”.

How he is too good and that the slug shouldn’t be able to see his adorable kitten. 

Atsushi can feel himself blush at the smile that Dazai directed at him.  

Even if Dazai was just teasing him he couldn’t help but feel his heart beat faster at his beloved human’s claim.

They continue to talk about the details of the mission and how as per usual Atsushi shouldn’t reveal himself unless absolutely necessary.

It’s simple, normal for the two of them, a conversation that they’ve had many times. 

But then they turn around the corner and Atsushi stops frozen in his tracks as his entire world comes crashing down.

He see’s a familiar figure. 

The short stature, long orange hair, a beautiful face with dark blue eyes that matched the deepest of oceans. 

The presence of a man that has power and he knows it. 

Then the man turns to face them and Atsushi’s heart races cause he knows that smirk. 

He’s seen it a million times on a man who made him promises laced with love, safety, and a life together that never came to pass. 

A life that while sealed in that tree he thought was nothing but wishful thinking instead of memory

He doesn’t notice when he starts to run.

He doesn’t hear Dazai startled yell.

He doesn’t notice that the man actually see’s him even and looks just as shocked as him.

All he can feel is the magic running through his veins, giving all of his energy into making him as corporeal as possible because he needs to know. 

He needs to make sure the man isn’t an illusion.

And as he crashes into the man’s chest he feels that familiar warmth, the power once used to crush enemies so long ago surrounds him but he doesn’t feel heavy.

It’s not malicious, its welcoming, as if embracing him back.

It’s comforting in its familiarity and Atsushi can’t help but smile as tears start to spill from his eyes. 

A new warmth filling his heart as a joy rivaling when he was released from his seal.

And he snuggles closer to the stiff body underneath him, clutching onto the man like his life depends on it.

He can hear a strong heart beat and he smiles knowing that this is real.

Smell the familiar scent of flames and storms underneath the atrocious “cologne” that modern humans use. 

He is real. 

His beloved..

He smiles wide as he whispers 

Atsushi: “Arahbahki~”

He feels the man stiffen further but still doesn’t move away but instead moves closer brushing his lips against his beloved’s neck as more tears roll down his cheeks. 

Atsushi: “My dear Anata. My beloved Oni, you live. You live! My Anata! My dear love you live!” 

He’s shaking as tears start to turn to full on sobs, he can feel his grip tightening and feels his Anata flinch. But pays to mind to that as joy and pain start to mix into his chest.

Atsushi: “I’m so sorry love. I-i should have b-been stronger. T-th-they tr-ticked me. I -I was so stupid s-so so scared. I-i called! I called for you! I-i thought- hic -I wouldn’t- hic. Oh Anata!” 

He wants to feel his Anata hug him back, to hear his voice call him his beautiful Byakko once more, to have his love kiss his tears away like so long ago.

But it doesn’t happen. 

Instead he feels his Anata push against him, he looks up confused and lets out a broken whine when he doesn’t see his beloved’s usual warm playful look. 

Instead he see’s suspicion, even outright hostility.  

Cold eyes devoid of the love he so desparately craved for centuries showed no recognition.

And Atsushi could feel his heart break all over again.

Familiar arms wrap behind him and he starts to struggle, to cling onto his beloved. 

“Why’s he glaring at me? Does he hate me? Anata I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry! Please don’t hate me!”

He gives a broken cry when he is finally pulled off and is ready to claw at the interrupter until he hears a  Dazai’s cold voice.

Dazai: “Slug I’m gonna need you to give me a moment.” 

He watches as his love just stand up and dusts himself off looking before glaring at Dazai. 

Chuuya: “Fine, but your gonna explain what the hell is going on!”

He feels he feels a whine build in his throat when his Anata doesn’t even look at him and then lets out a pitiful broken noise when he feels Dazai turn him around and start walking away from his beloved. 

Dazai: “Oh my poor kitten, you really do have the worst luck.”

And Atsushi can only whine, even though he feels Dazai’s arms around him his heart break still breaks as the distance between him and his Anata grows once more. 

——————————————————————————— 

After this incident we begin the DazAtsuYa!

Essentially Dazai takes Atsushi a little bit away and gives the bare basics of Chuuya’s back story to him.

How Chuuya was an expriement and is 100% human and that what he senses as “Arahbahki” is just a non-sentient power.

His love isn’t back, it’s just Chuuya. A human that has Arahbahki’s power sealed within him and nothing more.

This of course horrifies Atsushi on a lot of ways. 

The idea that humans could do that to their own.

How he can now “see” his beloved but it’s only a body similar to him, the person “Chuuya-san” is a complete stranger. 

And Atsushi just is so broken after this, because he was starting to heal. 

After being sealed away for centuries waiting for someone to release him and then seeing how long he was sealed away he accepted that Arahbahki had died. 

But now he learns that some part of his beloved is still alive just sealed away?

No thoughts, no memories, just pure rage and destruction?

It devastates him. 

So Atsushi after learning all this information assumedly while Dazai is still holding him slumps before changing his form again. 

He doesn’t want to be human, he doesn’t want to be seen, he’s too tired and too hurt to keep it up.

So he shrink’s down, shrinks, and shrinks until he’s nothing more than a tiger the size of a small cat clinging onto Dazai in his grief. 

And Dazai sighs holding his kitten closer, petting him, and telling him that he has him.

That he won’t let Atsushi go.

———————————

But moving on after that Dazai still has a job with Chuuya and he can’t just leave because of Atsushi.

So with a sigh to himself he holds a vulnerable Atsushi close to his chest making sure to cover his little ghost tiger in his jacket. Not wanting Chuuya to see him nor for Atsushi to see the slug.

And he sighs because he’s feeling so much right now.

He’s worried for his usually optimistic tiger.

Atsushi always held such joy and curiosity in the world as soon as he was unsealed, even when he told Atsushi that Yokai are nothing but legends he didn’t have such a reaction. 

Sure there was grief but also an acceptance, a gratefulness for life that Dazai couldn’t help but be jealous of. 

But now Atsushi’s eyes seem just as lifeless as his own, and its all because of that damn slug!

And that is another thing!

Apparently “Arahbahki” wasn’t always just a bunch of energy, “it” was once an extremely powerful Oni Yokai that was also apparently married to Atsushi.

Seriously! The slug has to look exactly like Atsushi’s long dead husband!

And now he has to explain what’s going on to that Slug even though he really really doesn’t want to.

He wanted to keep Atsushi’s existence a secret in the first place but now that plan has went to shit and his fierce tiger has become a depressed little kitten. 

But Dazai just sighs holding Atsushi closer when he gives another whimper feeling the tigers dig ever so slightly into his shirt. 

*”Let’s just get this over with.”*

———————————————————————

Meanwhile Chuuya is so confused when Dazai comes back. 

He was suddenly attacked by some random cosplayer who kept on calling him “Anata” and was crying nonsense to him. 

But what shocked him was that even though he commanded his ability to go around the guy his gravity didn’t change. 

His usual perfect control seemed to be lost as soon as the guy touched him. 

And when Dazai got the guy off of him he didn’t fail to notice that the moving ears and tail didn’t go anywhere either.

Was this guy also immune to Dazai’s ability? Did his ability just mess with other abilities? No, Dazai’s ability is absolute. Then what the hell?!

Then when Dazai (who looks incredibly pissed off) comes back not with the guy but instead of a little tiger cub everything gets worse. 

Dazai must have finally went mad.

Cause what do you mean he unsealed the last Yokai spirit? 

What do you mean he’s been sealed away for centuries?

What do you mean the tiger swore his loyalty and life to you to repay that debt!

And what the fuck do you mean he was married to Arahbahki and is depressed cause I look like his dead husband! 

Just the FUCK! 

———————————————————————

Dazai and Chuuya still get the job done of course. 

Atsushi briefly transforms into a giant tiger to protect Dazai.

And Chuuya is in awe because crap that is a magical fucking tiger!

The cosplayer is actually a real magical fucking tiger and Dazai wasn’t just messing with him.

…..oh shit Dazai wasn’t messing with him. 

And Dazai just watches all these emotions cross Chuuya’s face while seeing how twitchy his fingers are while looking at Atsushi. 

And he smirks pulling his sad little tiger closer to his chest. 

Dazai: What’s the matter slug? Jealous?~

 And for a moment Chuuya has the intense urge to punch Dazai in the face and grab the cat.

But instead he flips him off. 

Chuuya: Screw you, you suicidal bastard. I just feel bad for the cat you somehow tricked into liking you.

And Dazai snorts and makes a joke at Chuuya’s expense to try and cheer Atsushi up, but he end up frowning cause Atsushi doesn’t act exasperated with antics as usual.

Just his little kitten snuggling closer into his neck, like he’s trying to hide from the world. 

————————————————————————————————————

After the mission is a rough couple weeks.

Once Dazai returns home Atsushi essentially escaped under their bed, stays in tiger cub form, and essentially acts like a depressed cat. 

And Dazai tries take care of Atsushi because he doesn’t know how to comfort him. 

He brings him his favorite food. 

Gets more pillows and blankets to make him comfortable. 

Holds him and shows him pictures of places all around the world to spark that childish wonder again.

He just wants Atsushi to smile again. To walk with him, playfully nip at him, and scold him for not being careful And I just imagine Dazai just petting Atsushi while reminding him of Atsushi’s promise. That Atsushi promised him his “everything”. 

That all Dazai wants right now is to see his Tiger smile again. And maybe that little talk mixed with everything else encourages Atsushi to eat that Chazuke. ——————————————————————————— Meanwhile Chuuya actually starts to dream which freaks him the F out since he’s never had dreams before. 

And they all relates back to the tiger  (who he learns through the dreams is named “Atsushi”)

It’s so weird because he see’s a younger, thinner, and more snappy version of Atsushi wearing nothing but a thin raggedy kimono. 

He see’s the tiger come to him and try to stay by his side even when his “dream” self was an ass. 

Sometimes they eat together, joke together, laugh, and cry together. 

It’s like seeing a life time happen right before his eyes. 

He see’s himself taking Atsushi’s hand, kissing it, and watching the tiger blush.

He see’s how Atsushi would hold heal  him and then smile at him so happily before curling up to his side to snuggle up to him. 

He see’s himself taking a kiss from the tiger and how his gorgeous twighlight eyes widen in surprise before returning the kiss just as hard. 

Chuuya even has a particular dream of holding Atsushi in his arms and well lets just things get a bit *spicy*~ 

They would talk of love, of marriage, of having a family together, of Atsushi carrying a child. 

His child. 

Chuuya can admit these dreams were rather embarrassing though it did make him curious about the tiger in Dazai’s possession.

But he refrained, the tiger was already freaked out by seeing him, didn’t want to traumatize the guy even more if this wasn’t just his messed up brain imagining things cause he finds the tiger attractive.

(Side note there are a lot of sexy dreams lol)

And then the nightmare happens. 

A nightmare where he can’t find his *”beautiful Byakko”*

 He see’s himself searching, yelling out for him, and then panicking cause he can’t find him!

Why can’t he find him?

Where is he?!?

And he finds the trail and follows it.

He finds torn bloody cloth from Atsushi’s favorite kimono.

And as he goes further he finds a tree splattered with too much blood and a sickening feeling in his gut.

Because he knows his beloved is gone. 

He’s gone…

He’s gone and someone hurt him!

Someone killed his beloved!

His sweet, kind, and beautiful Byakko.

 His adorable tiger who hated fighting and killing, who would rather heal and gather herbs to impress him with. 

His beloved Atsushi who would hold him in his arms and against his chest without fear of the “monster amongst monster” ripping his heart out.

Who was the first person to give him words of love and acceptance. 

His wife, the man he had planned to spend the rest of his life with protecting and providing for, the one who was going to bear his child, is dead. 

Probably died terrified, alone, calling for him in hopes of rescue. 

All in vain. 

*“He’s sorry, oh dear beloved nonono, I should have protected you. Why wasn’t I there! How could I fail you! Who the FUCK did this to you! I’LL KILLE’M KILL’EM KILL KILL KILL!”*

Chuuya has felt pain before but nothing so intense as that all encompassing as the SORROW and HATERED that made his insides burn.

Then he wakes up and Chuuya feels like he’s going mad because this isn’t him! 

These aren’t his memories or his feelings! 

And he only has one way to get his answers and move on from all of these horrible feelings and memories. 

So in Chuuya like fashion rips the doors off of Dazai shipping container to find the bastard petting the tiger cub underneath the bed. 

Of course Dazai complains about this but Chuuya just continues on his way. 

Chuuya rolls his eyes Chuuya: Oh please you probably have a million other backup places just as shitty as this one.

 He then makes his way past Dazai and gets on the floor to see a sufficiently spooked tiny tiger underneath the bed.

 I could imagine his eye softening as he tries to speak gently.

 Chuuya: Alright so…I need to talk to you about a lot of things right now. So I would really appreciate it if you could come out Atsushi.

 And I could imagine both Dazai’s and Atsushi’s eyes widening. Because Dazai never told Chuuya Atsushi’s name.

——————————————————————————

After this I can imagine Atsushi reluctantly agree’s to talk but keeps himself behind Dazai because looking at Chuuya right now is just way too painful.

He explains his story. About how “Byakko” or a white tiger yokai were hated and hunted because they were healers and their bodies could be used for potent medicines. 

How he met Arahbahki and fell in love. 

How they had planned to have a child but it required him to store a lot of energy to change his form so it could have the baby.

How because of that when the other yokai tricked him he couldn’t truly defend himself. 

How he was sealed away until Dazai came into the picture. 

And Dazai and Chuuya are kinda horrified by how painful Atsushi’s story is. 

But Atsushi just smiles bitterly and shakes his head because there is nothing he can do and how talking about it helped with the grief somewhat. 

(After hearing all this Chuuya doesn’t ask more about the dreams since he doesn’t want to hurt the tiger even more)

From there on Atsushi leans against Dazai before apologizing to Chuuya, for treating him like someone else. That if possibly he would like to become friends and if that is too much then at least get along since Dazai and Chuuya are work partners. 

You know just being sweet. 

And Chuuya, well Chuuya is sufficiently charmed by this sweet little tiger and Dazai starts getting jealous. 

Because like hell is he letting the slug steal his tiger!

———————————————————————————————

The rest of the story would be about Atsushi and Chuuya slowly befriending each other.

(Granted Chuuya is constantly fighting the urge to kiss, hug, and even bite the tiger amongst other things lol) 

And a part of Atsushi does fall in love with Chuuya as well but denies himself because he promised his all to Dazai

Meanwhile Dazai gets closer of their budding relationship and constantly tries to separate them as much as possible. 

It all comes to ahead when Dazai and Chuuya get sent to a mission where “Corruption would have to be used. 

Dazai specifically told Atsushi he wasn’t allowed to join but still does anyways because he doesn’t want to see his two precious people hurt. 

Then he see’s Chuuya’s corrupted form and moves without a second of hesitation.

I can imagine Atsushi running towards a corrupted Chuuya who is screaming in pain and rage.

 Of Dazai trying to stop him because he doesn't want the gravitons to destroy his tiger. 

But then Atsushi embraces Chuuya, and this corrupted Chuuya doesn't move away. Still out of his mind Atsushi lifts Chuuya's face and those pupiless eyes are crying as if something deep inside of Chuuya's corrupted state recognizes the tiger.

 And Atsushi smiles gently cupping Chuuya's cheek in his hand, he's crying but his expression is so full of love and sadness. And Chuuya, still in his corrupted state, hugs Atsushi for dear life bites him in the neck which hurts but thats fine to Atsushi. It’s familiar and in a way comforting and Atsushi cradles him while using his power to heal Chuuya's body. 

In the end Atsushi is just holding a peacfully sleeping Chuuya while Dazai is left flabbergasted about what he had just witnessed.

——————————————————————————

Dazai and Chuuya still get jealous of each other and of course fuck up trying to force Atsushi to choose.

Chuuya wants him but Atsushi is adamant on not betraying Dazai.

And Dazai says some particular horrible things about “never should’ve released you in the first place if I knew you were going to be so much trouble.” 

(Which he regrets immediately after seeing how heartbroken Atsushi looks before running away from him. )

It all ends up with Dazai and Chuuya compromising because they love Atsushi and don’t want him to constantly feel miserable because of their feelings for him. 

Atsushi is their tiger, and they are his humans~ 

What more can I say?

——————————————————

And that’s all folks! I might make separate dribbles on my head cannons for this relationship and characters later! Hope you enjoyed this and please leave a comment or ask questions because my gosh their is so so sooooo much more to this au that I’ve discussed with @venelona lol. 

[morriganofcrowsandwar]

Hey I’m baaaaackkk! I’m on season five of The Magnus Archives now whoops! Uhm yeah it’s been quite a lot but here are my thoughts because Jesus Christ there are many. First of all Season four Recap:

#1)Peter Lukas is fucking dead and honestly I’m a bit sad. I think it’s hilarious that the entire thing with Martin literally boiled down to a bet between him and Elias. Also they were so gay like is anyone in this show straight???? lol I loved their little lover’s quarrel it’s so cute these old men(eldritch horrors) are so funny.

#2) SIMON FUCKING FAIRCHILD IS MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER! He basically slipped and fell into being an avatar(quite fitting I suppose) and he’s just a rad old man. Like all the stories about him made him seem so silly and then we met him and he was lol. ALSO MICHAEL CREW IS DEAD AND I WANT TO KILL DAISY FOR IT! AGH I LIKED THE GUY! This is why we can’t have nice things, fucking Daisy always ruins them.

#3) Continuing the topic of Daisy I do actually like her(except for her bullshit with abusing her position as a police officer). She’s one of the only people in the series that genuinely seemed to be trying to get better. Although it was all in vain she did end up being a pretty cool wolf dog thingy so that’s neat I guess. Meanwhile Basira doesn’t want to put up with this shit anymore. She hated it the second she got stuck. I think she’s simultaneously my favorite and least favorite character, but then again I feel that way about basically everybody in this story. Moral ambiguity is basically the entire podcast’s premise at this point. The point is Daisy has been a lost cause from the start and Basira is badass and deserves so much better than all of this.

#4) I love Martin so so much actually he’s grown so much and I adore him. I want to put him in a jar and shake him. Boi stood up for himself and just said “No” . Bro did not care he just knew he wasn’t letting Peter win. What a legend gotta love him.

#5)Small blurb about Melanie because I love her. She’s blind now but that’s alright because SHES DATING GEORGIE HEHE YAAAAYYY!!! I think it’s awesome and it’s just fitting that she gets her happy ending yk cause she spent her whole life fighting and now she has peace. I adore her and Georgie. BRO GEORGIE?? She’s AMAZING like she is genuinely such a great person and is just looking out for people and also keeping herself intact like what a queen. Slay.

#6) Okay fine I guess I’ll talk about Jon lol, he’s still definitely my favorite(although Martin is not far behind) and I adore the writing of his descent into an actual avatar of the eye. Also hehehehe he killed Peter Lukas and ventured right into the lonely just get Martin! Ah! I love love! That’s so sweet I’m actually still giddy about them. Martin is so soft with Jon and now Jon is really trying to make up for the past and the time lost. And I guess yeah he got tricked into starting the apocalypse but like does it matter? Everyone else he knows is dead or dying bro it’s really not that upsetting at this point. Except for fucking MELANIE AND GEORGIE AGH I genuinely NEED them to be okay. Like gosh just stay inside babies you’ll be fine. Anyways the apocalypse is so fun and I’m drawing it

P.s. I’m sorry I’ve been away. My partner got me into Arcane and it turned into a full blown hyper-fixation so hehe. I will be posting the art of that too at some point but I also hope I’ll update more often as I listen to season five. Also this podcast has consumed my life so much that my partner just changed their name to Martyn because they were yk in the market for a new one and I suggested it soooo ha I feel slightly crazy lol

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - it was a pretty darn good time, frankly

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Feb 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 12fin - Everyone looked like they were having a lot of fun in the fight sequences. I’m very happy for them. I’m not surprised they shot Khem and Chart. A little shocked it wasn’t also Yai, TBH.

I found this final episode rushed. According to rumors, The Sign was originally slated to be 14 eps, and it probably should’ve been. And I don’t say that often about Thai BL. But we all knew it was getting too bloated for its britches, so I'm not surprised they fumbled the ending. For me personally, it just wasn't that bad. It was fine and I was fine with it.

Tho, Billy does not look good with facial fur, messes up those gorgeous angles.

I was ultimately amused that the solution to the mythology thread was simply to talk to the river god and persuaded him to give up... off screen. It felt very old school wuxia. Or like Aeschylus or something. I did adore the stinger, Saint was basically like “I want wings too”. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

This show is literally everything (except straight) all at once. It's BL, queer, band of brothers, romcom, erotica, PNR, fated mates, police procedural, fantasy, mystery, suspense, and slasher. It’s the king of genre mash-up chaos. Sure, it's madness but there is genius in it. Was it a crazy unhinged mess +1 roll for damage? Yes. Yes it was. Did it manage to hold all those tangled threads together? No it did not. Was it also a charming, sexy, engaging, non-stop piece of entertainment? Sure thing. I think this show is basically my KinnPorsche, and frankly I’ve been chasing that dragon naga since KP aired. Is it perfect? No. But it was balls to the wall FUN and that gets a 9/10 from me.

I'm thinking of doing a full recap review (partly because I have so many great screen shots.)

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube grey) ep 10-11 of 12 - Since this series is following the yaoi so closely, I knew these were the separation eps. (Also I knew with would be a soft non-doom ep 11, Japan rarerly does these.) I like that they used it to show improve communication and development in all relationships, but, frankly, TayNew are just best when they are TayNew together on screen. So yeah. Let’s keep them back together, please?

Meanwhile, TayNew gifted us a gorgeous loving sweet sex scene. Thanks OG for doing us a solid. 

I wanna add, it sure is fun to see New play as soft and vulnerable character, I feel like he hasn’t done that since SOTUS. 

(Read all about distribution issues here.)

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 12fin - 1/3 of this is a sweet romance about a student doctor falling in love with a student chef, and the rest of it is utter dross. Look the OffGun bits were GREAT.. In fact, I think they’re better AS A PAIR in this show than in any of their other BLS. And I'm a hard sell on any OffGun being better than PickRome. Saying that, how can I review a show where I could only tolerate 1/3 of it? Because I didn’t like any other aspect of this show, no other pairs and no other plots. That gives me: 9/10 for the OffGun bits, 5/10 for everything else. Frankly it probably should be an 8 but I gotta go with my gut and it's upset about this so 7/10. Sorry boys. It’s GMMTV’s fault. Your heart was in this show, mine wasn’t. 

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 - These two are so good at making heart eyes at each other. It’s ridiculous. They don’t need any cartoon images or noises. Moot crush but "I wanna flirt and court more" is so flipping awesome. I love this for them… and us. 

1000 Years Old ep 2 of 12 - It’s very silly and we have been gifted with the dorkiest vampire ever. But... the smell thing makes me so happy. And I like that the vamp uses chan/nai or tan = v old fashioned. Nahlak. I love our ghost girl. Did you notice she wasn’t in the room with them but they left an empty chair for her? Also nahlak.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Perfect Propose (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 6 - Kai was pretty much just “you're a workaholic but I basically married you whether you like it or not.” SMOOCH. What can I say? I'm a sucker for this dynamic.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - How is this show so cute? How do they both love and hurt each other so much. They are both just scared of loosing each other. Gah.

Unknown (Taiwan Sat Youku YouTube) 1 of 12 eps - Youku dropped the first ep to their YouTube channel but I doubt we can expect that to continue. Still, it was nice to be able to watch it in a convenient way. I enjoyed it. But I am cautious about it. Of course this is possibly two of my favorite tropes of all time (stepbrothers or a variation + hyung romance). So I’m looking forward to the romantic thread, but from the gritty style, it feels a lot more like a Taiwanese short. Which means it could go very dark and may not end happy. 

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - I just don’t know if the main couple should be a couple. But when they finally get around to talking to each other, they sure are lovely. Also how great is it to see a uke initiate a kiss? Even if it’s not a very good kiss. 

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 2 of 8 - I am still not sure about this one. I am not contesting its quality, just saying it’s not for me. Also I’m not wild about what amounts to basically a redo of everything that already happened in the first episode from a different perspective. I know it’s a tall order with Japan, but I would like (when it’s a short series) for each new installment to actually move the plot (such as it is) along in someway. Am I asking too much?

It's done but I have no time

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master - from Vietnam, it's on YouTube. I will give it a try when I have a window of time.

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - A Burmese BL? @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will give it a watch.

It's airing but...

Dead Friend Forever (Thai iQIYI) - rumors are it's interesting but full of unlikable characters. I'm waiting to know how it ends.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… probubly not. I won't be watching this. I disliked Season one and actively hated the follow ups. No thank you.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far. Ends next week TF.

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - dropped it at ep 4.

A Secretly Love (Thai WeTV) - I tried but I can't get into my WeTV account anymore and I'm way too lazy to figure it out. Should I bother to go grey for it?

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand YT) - High school sweethearts who had a bad break up reunite when both of them have full time jobs but coming out is still a problem. You can watch this on YT but it has no Eng Subs.

Next Week Looks Like This:

We're light on content right now, but frankly I'm so busy with work I don't really mind.

3/6 Born to be Y (Thai ????) 10 eps - 14 contestants who audition to compete in Born To Be Y, a program that searches for the best couple of the year to work together on a giant project. Described as semi-reality series. So I probably won't bother.

3/7 Deep Night (Thai iQiyi) 10 eps - Multiple romances set in a host clubs. Nice to see First back on my screen but this is not my favorite setting.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

The eyes have it.

Your random BL moment brought to you by my ult-bias being a hyung smartass to his maknae.

(Last week)

[makeste]

So... How was watching that episode?

I meant to do a post on this sooner, as opposed to late on a Friday night hours before the next episode drops (eta: well apparently there's no new ep airing this week after all so that makes my timing slightly less atrocious), but yeah. basically I loved it. it hurt in all the right ways.

music was incredible. no shot it was ever not going to be incredible. Hayashi Yuuki thank you for always making my emotions your bitch.

there are admittedly a couple of moments in the anime which I felt weren't quite as impactful as they were in the manga. one of these is the moment when Jeanist, after seeing that Kacchan is (he thinks) traumatized and crying, immediately shifts gears from trying to hype him back up to return to the battle, and instead starts reassuring him that he's done enough and he doesn't have to fight anymore and they'll figure out a way without him. when I first read that part in the manga it absolutely slaughtered me. it's so rare to see media that stars young adults as the protagonists, and portrays them as capable young warriors, and yet also acknowledges that even so, they're still just kids. and to then surround said kids with adults who aren't dumbed down, and who are actually smart and capable and who are actively looking out for them and trying to protect them even though the kids are more OP than they are.

so to have a character that looks at someone like Bakugou and sees past how powerful and determined and ferocious he is, and instead just sees a kid who has been so incredibly brave and who they've asked so much of already. and to have that character make the on-the-spot decision to pull this kid out of the fight, regardless of the consequences, even if it means they might LOSE, just because he thinks the kid is hurt and scared and past his limits, and he needs someone to look out for him. that moment says everything about what kind of person Jeanist is. just, that one part got to me so much.

BUT, in the anime it all happens much faster and the moment gets kind of lost because Kacchan almost immediately starts doing his Deku-style muttering, and Jeanist quickly realizes that his initial read was wrong and this kid is actually FULLY AND COMPLETELY LOCKED IN MORE THAN EVER. which is exactly what happens in the manga as well, to be fair. but in the manga I got to read and absorb it at my own pace, whereas the anime just keeps on going with no concern over whether you've had enough time to process everything that's going on. and so that moment just kind of slips by, and almost isn't even noticeable unless you're looking out for it. it's not really a complaint, because there isn't really any other way the scene could be adapted, probably. but it does give me a good excuse to write a mini-essay about how much I love it, so yeah.

moving on though, in spite of my wishing we could have somehow lingered on that part a second or two longer, I did absolutely love the reveal of Kacchan mumbling and analyzing Deku-style. the first of many outstanding Okamoto Nobuhiko performances in this episode. full nerd powers activated. we'd already seen him do this in Bakugou Katsuki: Rising as well, but this is where it really stands out and it was awesome.

and by the way, shout out to the Big Three who are fucking great. eventually when I get around to posting my manga recaps for this part of the story, those will get more into their antics. for now though, I'll just say that everything was very well adapted. and the part where poor Mirio is all "???? sorry????" when TomurAFO has his brief little Tenko outburst was everything I hoped it would be, and Mirio's actor absolutely nailed it. like I knew it was coming and was anticipating it, and it still slayed me. easily a top five funniest moment in the whole damn series.

Kacchan standing up and telling Jeanist to look after the others filled me with just as much dread as the first time I read it. and the first time I read it, I had already been spoiled. so what I'm trying to say is, knowing what's about to happen does not in any way lessen the intensity of this moment. if anything it just enhances it.

the reveal of Kacchan's powerup was so incredibly badass. I can't even describe how badass it was. just, BOOM. now you see me, now you don't. LA DEE DA, HERE I AM! and the narration in the background talking about his quirk. chef's kiss.

no matter how many anime characters I see pulling off the omae wa mou shindeiru, I will never, ever tire of it. it's the single most badass thing anyone can ever do. especially when they were being underestimated the entire fucking time, and now all of a sudden they're out here scaring the shit out of the big bad himself. no one is faster than Kacchan. KACCHAN CAN RUN FASTER THAN ALL OF YOU. HE CAN FUCKING FLY!! HE'S BEHIND YOU RIGHT NOW!! GOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

and then Nobu hits us with the coup de grace. "Izuku… can I still catch up to you?" fellas is it gay to spend your last thirty seconds of life having an imaginary conversation with your beloved rival even as you're zapping around like a bolt of lightning, kicking more ass than anyone on earth has ever kicked.

and I was already dead by this point, but then the All Might vestige scene kicked in and resuscitated me so I could die again even harder. worth it.

so what really killed me nineteen times during this part was the way that Kacchan sounded so completely and utterly different from how he has ever sounded before. this is a scene that's taking place entirely in his head (or… in OFA land… maybe???? goddammit Horikoshi still owes us an explanation. THAT VESTIGE SHOULD NOT BE THERE I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS). there's nobody else around. nobody to perform for. nobody to show off or look tough for. it's just him, and this big mysterious yellow All Might ghost thing.

and he sounds like an entirely different person. nervous, shy, sheepish. no crudeness, no insults. just, aw shucks. hand to back of neck. avert eyes. so this is kind of awkward, but... the thing is, I always wanted to... but I was such a brat when we first met... and I just never found the right moment after... anyway yeah I'm sorry and it's really dumb. but I really just. wanted to get your autograph.

just. this is him at his most sincere. this is who he's always been, all along. the one and ONLY time we've ever gotten a glimpse of him with absolutely no walls. and he is NOTHING like what he presents himself as to the outside world. he is sweet, he is gentle, he is self-effacing. he is painfully vulnerable, which is doubtless why he never dares to show this side of himself to anybody, ever. and he is ultimately so calmly accepting of this one last regret during what he believes are his final moments.

anyway. so yeah. it destroyed me. what else is there to say.

and then it happens. and once again, not to shit on the anime at all because this episode was fantastic, but this was another part that seemed much clearer in the manga. particularly that one page where we see that everyone else -- Jeanist; Mirio; Hadou; Tamaki; even Mirko -- tried to save Katsuki from that final blow, but they were all just a split second too late. the anime did its best to show that, but I think it was just harder to convey in that format. whereas the manga did it beautifully in a way that couldn't really be replicated.

but on the other hand, one thing the anime did VERY well was showing Kacchan's ragdoll body just flop lifelessly away afterwards. holy shit. I watched like a half dozen reaction videos to this episode on Youtube, and in most of them the anime viewers didn't quite realize how bad of a hit it was at first… until they showed that. then they were like, D: D: D:

and then last but not least… the image that broke the internet so hard that it spoiled me even in my paranoid social media isolation. Kacchan lying lifelessly on the ground. it's such a well-drawn panel in the manga, and the anime absolutely did it justice. having him be so pale was a wonderful touch. you see him, and you just immediately know. there's no room for doubt at all. it's powerful af. the Youtuber reactors all lost their minds. one woman actually started sobbing. phenomenal cinema.

so yeah! needless to say I thought it was spectacular. pour one out for the anime-onlys though. and now their watch begins.

[wickedsick]

Akane-Banashi wins "that's my fucking GIRL"

I love her. I love her so much. It's peam.

Blue Box wins "cute!"

This chapter is just cute. This whole doubles arc is cute.

One Piece wins "cool new scumbag"

The Holy Knights look cool (when wearing pants), but they're absolutely horrible people. And the mention of a "game" intrigues me, as someone who always likes game-based powers.

Sakamoto Days wins "Absolute Looney Tunes Bullshit"

This is some quality bullshit. I love it.

Kagurabachi wins "Woman Moment"

While yay for Iori doing a cool thing, I was personally hoping for her to be able to regain a sense of normality. Ikura's presence makes me unsure of what's going to happen, however.

Ultimate Exorcist Kiyoshi wins "the aesthetics of Shonen"

Bakku Yoraku feels perfectly designed to advance Nehan and JJ's character arc, and he does it excellently. His fighting style establishes Jack Joe's own pre-amnesia abilities, which then gets contrasted with the big shadow arms overpowering Bakku to show how Jack Joe is now more powerful than he ever was.

Star of Beethoven wins "Freak of All Time"

The rest of the chapter felt kinda ephemeral, but every time Beethoven is the focus (and when Beethoven is on screen, he is always the focus), things feel more real. He exists outside of the boundaries of the panel.

Ichi The Witch wins "awesome new freak"

Gokuraku is great. I was wrong about it being the corset lady from Mantinel, but this is equally awesome.

There were several other good moments throughout this chapter (Desscaras recap, Ichi trying to do the contract with Kumugi, woof) but just in general this chapter is awesome.

Embers wins "beloved idiot"

Haitani is a very entertaining variety of stupid, because it basically lets him no-sell all mental damage.

Witch Watch wins "momotaro momotaroment"

This definitely feels like a plotline that could've been done with infinitely more malice in any other series, but it's done quite nicely here.

[hdusa]

hi princezam/princesszam/beingzam /ref

Where should I start for s5 for lifesteal, because I haven't caught up on it AT ALL. T_T.

well if you’re willing to vod watch I’d start at the beginning of the abyss arc. The streams happened from January 7th onward so if you have the vod spreadsheet made by the awesome archivists that’s where you’d start. You probably don’t have to watch every stream a lot of them are insanely long, but unfortunately I don’t know which ones are the important ones and which ones aren’t.

but if that’s not your style, I also have this massive recap that I wrote one time it’s like on my page somewhere. Once you’ve read it you can basically jump into any recent stream although it is missing a few more recent details unfortunately.

lastly if you like YouTube videos I’m starting to post highlights on my 2nd channel starting at the beginning of the void arc! They’re like kinda daily I finished the 2nd one today I’m just waiting until tmrw to post it. Hoping I can keep this up until it becomes too much and then I’ll try and pass it off to editors ideally.

[saranova]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

aka It's 2025 and I'm just getting to it now

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going! Tagging @feetreadyheartbeatsteady @fantasywithkassidy @thoughtsaboutshows because I don't think I saw any of you do this, but no pressure!

Thank you to @ubiquitouslyme @lizardsrunfast @oh-no-its-dragons @overjoyedisland for the tags! I haven't actually participated in one of these tumblr things before and being more active on this platform is a 2025 goal of mine so here we go!

I'm not on Tumblr a ton, but I'm trying to be better and, yes, I know it's already 2025 but there's no time like the present to recap my 2024.

How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

According to AO3: 382,988 um ... what!?!?

How many fics did you complete this year?

Seven! The rest are WIPs.

That Infamous Infantry Guy - A Halden/Violet prequel story exploring the theory that he was her famous infantry ex.

The Mile High Club - A one-shot modern AU where Violet and Xaden meet on a transatlantic flight.

The Music of The Night - Iron Flame Violet/Varrish fanfic for the Riders Quadrant winter solstice fic exchange (for @lunatrixart)

Tropical Temptation - A V/X/L Modern AU one shot for the Rider's Quadrant winter solstice fic exchange for @shipmistress9 that I co-wrote with @tegantales

Secrets Die With Those Who Keep Them, So What's One More? - A canon compliant short fic where basically everyone is feeling horny and experimental. B/I/V, B/I/G

A Ray of Light in Shadowed Clouds - A Tairn/Sgaeyl piece for the Rider's Quadrant Summer Solstice Fic Exchange.

Measure Up - A Xaden/Dain piece for the Rider's Quadrant Summer Solstice Fic Exchange

How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

Nine

The Golden Dragons - My first ever fanfic, my baby! I had no idea what I was doing, I just started writing one day and this modern college AU has evolved. It's fun and I don't take this one too seriously, its a bit of satire and a lot of silly with a touch of serious.

My Adversary, My Abyss - An in-canon Mira/Syrena fic I began back in September as part of the Fourth Wing femslash week organized by @oh-no-its-dragons

One Manhattan - Modern Riorgail AU set in New York City. Co-authoring with @tegantales

Two Manhattans - Companion Piece to One Manhattan, sharing supporting character POV's.

XOXO, Aaric Graycastle - Basgiath's Gossip Column. A fun and silly series of tabloid style articles for Basgiath shenannigans.

Samara Man - Like Florida Man ... but at Samara. Spoiler: it always comes back to Garrick Tavis.

The Choreography of Combat - A series of one-shots of Bodhi Durran sexy sparring all the hot guys.

What was your favorite thing you wrote?

This is a really tough one. I love Golden Dragons b/c it is where my journey writing fanfic began ... but I wouldn't necessarily say it's my favorite thing I've written. Honestly, probably Chapter 6 of That Infamous Infantry Guy, it was my first time experimenting with writing something dark, and I love how it turned out.

What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

Probably The Music of The Night. It was my first time writing something that was really inspired by music and incorporating it's lyrics into the prose. It ended up being far more poetic than my usual works and is very dark and twisted. But I loved how it turned out so much.

Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

I was definitely surprised how much I loved writing Music of the Night, I wasn't sure how this Violet/Varrish pairing was going to come together, but once the idea came to me, the words just poured out of me.

I think the fandom's reaction to One Manhattan surprised me the most. I mean, I knew it would be fun and a wild ride, but I didn't expect so many people to take the ride with us and that has been awesome!

Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

Definitely My Adversary, My Abyss. Though the response to it has been small, it's been SO positive. The comments and messages I've gotten about it have been some of the most supportive and appreciative I've ever received. There's a lot of M/M fic in the fandom, but there really isn't much in the way of F/F so i am very determined and motivated to finish this one!

Who is an artist that inspired you?

Both @oh-no-its-dragons and @ann7av have created fan art based off of my works and if that isn't inspiration to keep writing, I don't know what is!! The fact that I wrote something that inspired artists to create absolutely blows my mind in the BEST possible way. It's the most wonderful thing, isn't it, to continue inspiring one another with our creations?

A shout out also to @lunatrixart for her amazing Tairn & Sgaeyl piece she created for the Rider's Quadrant Winter Solstice exchange. I started following her after I was assigned her as my giftee - I love how the exchange introduced me to so many creative and inspiring authors and artists!

Who is an author that inspired you?

I have met some really incredible authors this year in the Fourth Wing fanfic fandom through AO3 and the RQ Discord Server. Though, I have to call out @ubiquitouslyme because her Xaden Year 3 is the first fanfic I ever read. It was what I discovered when looking for a cure for my FW/IF book hangover, and it led me here! And for that, I will be forever grateful.

Additional shout out to Lydi (who's tumblr name is escaping me) for bringing me into the RQ Discord Server and introducing me to the fandom in a deeper way!

There are just too many authors to count because everyone inspires me in one way or another! I appreciate every comment, every encouraging word, every kudo, every meme, and just all our general discussions. Thank you to this fandom for welcoming me with open arms, it's been such a wonderful journey!

Who is a new author you discovered?

Well, I am so new to this fandom that literally everyone is a new author to me! So can I just say, all the authors of the Empyrean Fandom? There's just so much talent here it's unreal. This is such a tough one because there are so many on the RQ server.  

@overjoyedisland @lizardsrunfastt @fantasywithkassidyy @thoughtsaboutshowsows @suebswrites @yanny-77 @shipmistress9 @greeneyedwildthing @pillowqueen26 @sarcasticmothwrites @oh-no-its-dragons @june-s-pumpkins @tegantales @hockeyspiral23 @siobhanbooks @essjaywrites Mint (who's tumblr name I don't know) and everyone else I may have forgotten because I'm terrible with tumblr and don't know everyone's names on this platform (yet)

Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

I did!

I've been writing One Manhattan and Two Manhattans with @tegantaless. I am not actually sure how it started, I think one of us was like, "Hey, I like your writing, we should write something together" and the other responded "Yes, same. I'm in!" and then we just did. It clicked for us immediately, and it's been so easy to co-author together. It kind of snowballed from there - we've now met IRL and have probably 100K words and three different published works between us in just a couple months?

What accomplishments are you proudest of?

I have three things I'm most proud of this year:

I started writing. Period. Hard Stop. I've never written anything creatively before and just decided to try it and see what happens. To say I've surprised myself is an understatement.

As someone who had never read smut or fantasy before 2023, I have now written both. To say it was intimidating when I started would be an understatement, but I'm so glad I went for it!

I pushed myself beyond what I was initially comfortable with. I've now written smut, m/m, f/f, poly, fluff, angst, and some super dark stuff. It's hard for me to believe I started writing fanfic for the first time in May!

What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

That nothing is perfect. That every chapter doesn't have to top the last. That sometimes you just need to build out the story. That it's okay to walk away from something if you need a break or aren't feeling inspired, your writing will be better for it.

What is your advice?

Write what makes YOU happy! Write for yourself, not everyone else. 

Connect with your readers! One of the things that brings me the most joy as a writer is interacting with those who follow my work. I love it so much, that my first fic, The Golden Dragons, turned into an interactive fic where I have surveys and linkouts embedded and then draw from those responses to make it more interactive.

Support each other! I am a very slow reader, but I try to read as much as I can because I enjoy both the stories and supporting the other wonderful authors in this fandom!

What are your creative goals for 2025?

Finish my current Empyrean WIPs, flesh out Mile High Club into a multi-chapter AU fic, complete one original fiction.

Write at least one piece for another fandom. I'm coming for you @acourtofladydeath

[doctorwhoisadhd]

btw to fans who havent seen sja, now would be a great time to watch it since it seems like the trickster may be becoming relevant! (plus you've already seen the trickster's brigade as they were the villains of turn left)

sja is EXTREMELY undaunting to watch, and while it IS a kids show its fun for adults too — its basically like the most fun / sweet / silly episodes of DW but all the time! the fact that it's a kids show is actually great for making it easier to watch:

it doesn't assume any knowledge of classic or modern who (but is still rewarding to watch for fans of either)

all the stories are an hour long and split into two 30min parts with a recap at the beginning of the second half

there are NO season long arcs!

there are only 5 relatively short series - s1-4 each have 6 stories and s5 only has 3 stories (due to lis sladen's passing). the entire show is basically equivalent in length to 2.5 series of modern who, and the characters are all very fun and lovable!

another thing is it has a couple appearances of not only enemies from dw (like sontarans and judoon) but also some companions, including k9, jo grant, the brigadier (in nicholas courtney's last TV appearance as him!), and two episodes have the doctor! which is awesome as someone who's already a fan - it's like discovering a secret dw episode that you didn't know about :)

[popculturebuffet]

X-Month: X-Men Blue Origins: Kurt has Two Mommies (Patreon Review for Brotoman.EXE)

Hello all you happy muties and welcome back to Mutant Month! And it wouldn't be mutant month without a look at the Krakoan age, the previous era of x-men that sadly just ended.

So quick recap: Krakoa was a living island the x-men lived on for the past 5 years, an island nation that offered them peace, security and immortality. This sadly could not last as status quos in comics do not last nor do dreams: So late last year at the third hellfire gala all hell broke loose: Orchis, a secret shadowy enclave of humans being manipulated by robots for their own ends, launched an attack, poinsing the life saving drugs krakoa had used to barter and killing everyone present at the gala who wasn't a mutant to frame them, while then tricking charles xavier into making everyone walk into a portal.. that lead to some limbo dimension instead.

The X-Men and associates resisted thanks to something Xavier had taught and passed on, something Al Ewing had came up with in his run on New Avengers and brought with him when he came onto the x-side of things, the red triangle protocol. Basically you focus on a red triangle to block out a psycic attack. SO the x-men and allies they presumibly taught it too resisted and went underground.

So the x-men were scattered to the winds leading to a bunch of mini series leading into the end of the era. And one of those is one of the most delightfully batshit and brilliant ideas of the krakoan age: The Uncanny Spider-Man. Ladies, gentlemen, and my nonbinary folks... Kurt Wagner.. was spider-man.

Uncanny Spider-Man was the third and final part of Simon Spurrier's trilogy of x-men books. Spurrier had previously worked on the awesome and underated X-Men Legacy, following Xavier's son legoin in the wake of Charles death and fleshing out Legion tremendously.

So unsuprisingly while Kurt was the main character of this , trying to find a spirtual way forward for a mutantkind that had put a stopper in death, Legion was the deutragonist, following kurt every step of the way and helping him found their own religion/way of life, the legion of x. This eventually collapsed thanks to david having to take his girlfriend and leave reality to escape a witch after his soul, while Orchis made Kurt into a monster man that killed people and not taking that well being who he is, Kurt vanished.

So he became a spider-man. It was with Peter's full approval, as Kurt needed to hide and like any good spider-man Kurt swung around, had fun and dodged his problems till they came down on him.

And during all of this, dodging his angst, dating silver sable, and other stuff.. Mystique came back, having escaped the gala but in a barely coherent state. And it's here our story picks up.

X-Men Origins Blue is a one shot taking place during uncanny, with the comic itself pointing out exactly where. And as the title suggests it gives the REAL origin of nightcrawler... or rather his birth.

Nightcrawlers origins are a complex topic I don't know enough about, but Chris Claremont's intent for them was made clear the second he brought Mystique over from Ms Marvel to the X-Men comics with days of future past: Kurt noted they looked similar.. and she brushed it off.

Then.. this wasn't adressed for some time until his excalibur run from what I could dig up (and parts I hadn't gotten to) where it was finally confirmed. So far so simple. Thing was Chris.. intended for Mystique to be not his mom.. but his biological father.

See Chris was progressive for his time when it came to queer characters, having a LOT of friendships that had sapphic overtones. It never felt like he was intentionally queerbaiting, merely that he coudln't do anything because JIm Shooter was gay. And while some you could debate he made his otp obvius: Mystique, mistress of shapeshifting and her lover, friend and confidant Destiny, a precog. He did everything he could to make it clear these two were a thing.

So it's not a suprise his plan was to have Myistque shapeshift into a man to impregnante Irene. Granted the time scale given her age dosen't completely add up, but honestly the idea is so audacious and brilliant i'm willing to ignore it. People saying "Well irene was too old" clearly forget this universe is fucking weird and that, as many on reddit pointed out, they knew sinister.

It's even less suprising Edittorial said fuck no because gays, and tried to give Mystique a case of the not gays forgetting.. she's bisexual. Even Claremont had that in mind as when Destiny was dying she left Mystique in forge's care having a vision of them together. He also wrote Kitty Pryde as bisexual and that later became canon.

So time passed and as far as I can tell there wasn't a clear winner for Kurt's dad. So enter Chuck Austen. For those of you who are bilsfully unaware of this guys existance and thus didn't want to reflexively go numb with terror at the mention of his name, a primer: Chuck Austen wrote Uncanny X-Men during Grant Morrison's legendary run on New X-Men and proceded to write the worst run in x-men history. That's not hyperbole and having recently read most of the 90's x-men comics to filll that gap in my history, it's not a high bar to clear.

Austen's run includes: A plot by the anti mutant church of humanity to install nightcrawler as pope then fake the rapture, mutanting Juggernaughts hetero lifemate black tom into a plant monster they only stopped by having leftover member from the previous run stacey x use her phermone powers to get him horned up, angel getting healing blood and being made a literal angel, angel's healing blood making him immune to aids which is brought up for no specific reason, Angel having aerial sex with a minor right above her poor mother, and Havok's relationship with Polaris being broken up because a nurse's psycic son got the two together while Havok was in a coma.

I.. I wish i'd made all of this up but no. He also killed off two beloved gen x characters, Skin and Synch, for no adquate reason. This isn't as wacky as the rest of that, but it's still a noticable fuck you. How he got away with this while Grant Morrison was chased out I don't know. I just.. don't know

SO you may be asking/dreading "What.. what else did he do to kurt?" and the answer? He took a mutnat famed for being one of the most kind , loving beings in the marvel universe who just so happened to look like a demon.. and made him half demon. He introduced Kurt's father Azazel who you may remember from First Class where he wasn't a demon nor kurt's dad. Both improvments. Yeah so we got a whole story I haven't forced myself ot read yet that spits on the characters concept and generally sounds awful and like a bargin bin version of Raven's arc from New Teen TItnas

Azazel was largely ignored for good damn reason till Jason Aaron brought him back and decided since he for whatever reason couldn't retcon him out to make the best of a bad situation: he made Azazel into a pirate who was stealing souls from heaven, forcing Kurt to summon his friends as a crew to have a pirate fight with his dad. I swear to god this will be covered some pirate month.

This helped a little but Aaron leaving the x-side of things and no one wanting to touch this left Azazel in the wind. So with the x-men at their peak and Myistque and Destiny at the center of things after she finally brought the latter back, the time seemed right ot finally fix this. So the question is simple: how do you fix the origin to it's original form while accounting for the demon man retcon and the baron introduced Mystique cucked. The answer is convoluted, fun and mildly beautiful and it's under the cut

We begin with atiny gremlin resembling an albino nightcrawler recapping where we're at up to this point, which i've already covered. The little guy is kurt's tiny friend that talks to him during his solo and narrates the recap for us. I'll also let him explain who he is

Fair enough. I also love the tone our little narrator keeps. Winking and nodding to the fact that while part of the narrative of Uncanny it's also a standalone mostly there for the retcons it's about to do and Spurrier's clearly aware plenty of future fans will read this on marvel unilimited or pick up the issue simply FOR this one reason.

So at this point Kurt is trying to comfort his mother whose lost in the memory of loosing her baby and this being Mystique is waving a pistol around at people. Kurt tries to help by giving her the version they both know: While Mystique and Destiny were firmly together for most of their very long lives, meeting in the 1900's with Mystiques past before that a giant question mark, they were on and off for a variety of reasons from normal couple issues to the simple facts of their powers: Raven is a shapeshifter meaning she's often living a whole other life that can't always acomedate the love of her life and Destiny being a precog means sometimes she has to go off and do shit to make sure things go the right way. So while they were wives for lives, they also had a very open marraige, with Raven taking partners for lonliness, to get by what have you and vice versa.

One of these was Christian Wagner, Kurt's alleged dad and a eurpoean count Raven hooked up with soley for money's sake and being a sexist dick, it wasn't easy. So she cheated on him with Azazel because sexy devil man, had his child and had to abandon kurt.. only.. the story isn't making sense to her and her head is hurting. After another round of his mommy waving a gun in his face, Kurt decides to cut the thing with the hopesword.

Thankfully Marvel knew this might be a lot for people reading Uncanny at the time and explained it in an article. Which is good for me as I haven't reread legion of x and forgot how the hell all this happened. So Nightcrawler's stepmom whose magic made mutants into rampaging monsters to help Orchis plan, Kurt included, hence the spider-man getup, and turned Kurt's hope into a sword that his friends made sure he got back.

Said sword is the hope of posisblity what can be and Kurt hands it to his mom in the hopes it'lll help her mind.. and not cut him in half. Lucky for Kurt he has a long history of taking a bet on someone everyone else says to run the fuck away from and it works.

So we get the FULL story and the full retcon of what happened, keeping Count Wagner and Azrael, but reframing it.

So like I said the two had an open marraige, with the two open to date whoever provided it benefitted them as a couple. Hence count wagner: he was rich, full of himself and has the kind of vibe that just screams "I cum in two minutes", so while obnoxious, he was easy enough to put up with as the long con was worth it and it was easy enough to get Irene in as her bang maid since Count Wagner really wasn't paying any attention to the house as long as it didn't cost him anything.

Instead of the torrid affair it was portrayed as in the past, Raven frames it as.. honestly way more realistic for how the characters are played in most comics not written by the nightcrawler pope guy.

It didn't help she sensed Raven was growing distance, figuring he was her fairwell gift. Raven's exact words. Which honestly satan's dick isn't the worst farewell gift but... get her a demon who can perform at least Irene sheesh.

Turns out though Irene had other plans.. she wanted to make a baby just the two of them. And I love Marcus To's art in this issue in general, beauitful, heartbreaking, well done, especially since as the one handling the present day wraparound he has to carry a LOT of emotion as the wraparound is mostly talking.. granted Kurt is wearing a spidey suit so only his eyes can emote for most of it but still. But I love this panel after she gives the reveal, as Raven sokes int he emotions

I also like the charcterization of Raven: Spurrier and To don't forget that Raven. .is a bad person. While I saw a complaint or two on reddit in doing research, honestly.. it dosen't sugarcoat it. She talks about the men she dated as toys she broke, waves a gun around and is harsh with Kurt, who she later reveals once she got the memories back she knew was her baby boy. Raven is a pragmatic person who wants whatever the hell she wants and will steal and kill to get it. Yet this tale.. still works. Just because a person is awful.. dosen't mean they can't love and just because neither Raven nor Irene is a good person... dosen't mean they don't deserve a child made of love. There were other births but this was thehirs.

Raven is also recast as nonbinary, saying the only real diffrence between genders is those who can be who they are and those denied the right and Raven Darkholme is who she is. I also find Kurt's inital bafflement that 'but your both women" hilariously naive for a man who was spending his time being a spider-man while palling around with what he knew deep down was the conciousness of one of his best friends pretending to be gremlin him, while wilding a sword made of pure hope.

The comic does retcon Mystiques abiliteis; she CAN change her dna. She dosen't often becasue she dosen't WANT to but given how she can fool any scanner imaginable this makes perfect sense. Her power isn't mimicking apperance.. it's altering her genes. We get a file page from Dr. Nemisis, an immortal mutant nazi hunter who played a supporting role in both previous spurrier nightcrawler books and who fleshes this out more. She's near omega levels. Omega is a term that was just vauge shorthand for "really powerful" that kept being used way too often, and which Jonathan Hickman helpfully redefined so it was still useable, but also limited it to a handful of mutants: any mutant whose power has no upper limit. The only reason he can't formally classify her as omega as he dosen't know if she could mimic x-genes or change her own. Basically a way that leaves the door open to that but dosen't shove it too open as it was clear Spurrier didn't really have time to get into this concept and left it for future writers to do more with.

So after a brain headache, Mystqiue presses on: she immediately dumped Azazel, who took it with a lot of bitch crying and "I'M DUMPING YOU YOUR NOT ME" nonsense as you'd expect.

Christian was less easy at first: while Raven grew a bump to match his , the Baron wanted a dna test. Which given Raven used a bunch of male dna she had lying around including his could've been bad. Thankfully Baron Incel walked in on them and honestly in other circumstances i'd feel bad; Raven cheated on him, was using him for money and slits his fucking throat.. but given he both calls them Sapphic Harlots, in what given the floating timeline would've been the early 90's, planning to have them WHIPPED for it...

So they go through with the pregnancy with Raven pretneding to both be her pregnant self and the baron, dismissing the staff and generally enjoying the process. She also keeps the prengancy belly even when not in public at times... to carry the prengancy with her wife. Awww. And I like this a lot.. is it idealized.. yeah. But again a bad person CAN be happy. Evil can love. Raven being terrible dosen't mean she can't genuinely have cared.

So the baby comes and the doctors.. arne't exactly impressed.. raven though

There are so many little touches to this I didn't notice the first time I read it... but this one is so damn good. The "see me".

Sadly this didn't last as naturally the doctors of 1990 in a small villiage weren't ready for sapphic mutants and their elf child so they attacked. The setup is as it was many times and showed up in x-men the animated series, evolution and others: nightcrawler is born, and the poor boy is, like too many mutants hated and feared just for being born. So Raven flees while Irene stays behind saying she'll be fine. And it's that last part that flips the script. Raven leaves her baby boy.. but unlike the past where she threw him away , choosing his life over hers.. she simply left him. That simple. She left him at the base of a tree to go save irene.. only to find as she said, she'd left. And when Raven returns.. Kurt is gone.

Kurt tries to comfort her in the present taking off the mask.... but she knows already. Kurt does see this as a possible new beginning because.. he's Kurt Wagner. He sees the good in people even after the many horrible things his mom has done. Mystique however sees it as the past: it was a lifetime ago, theyg rew apart and what's really important is seeing this memory through.

So a few years of in her words sex, violence and nihilism that meant nothing thorugh the pain later, Raven catches up to her wife in the usual way

Yeah the story dosen't really let Irene get away with things easy either. They only reconcile, and then only barely, because Destiny basically waves Rogue in front of her face and forces her to adopt the daughter Raven always wanted. I do like how the narrative dosen't cheapen her adopting Rogue either: While Destiny does again essnetially go "here's another child to raise", when confronted with what the pimps and pushers might do to this poor child , despite all the hate and needed explinations.. Raven's first insitnct.. is to comfort Rogue. She's still fucking pissed, at her worse.. but she sees a child lost due to her gift, needing her and ignores her pain to help.

So Destiny explains once their alone and Rogue is getting so me much needed sleep now happily adopted. Turns out the reason Kurt was abandoned.. was fate. And these retcons are the parts where the issue reaches a bit for me. The rest is fine: that Mystique did love her son once, as while her abandoning him is somewhat in character, her having genuinely loved him and given him away not because she wanted to but because Destiny played it that way feels more in character with who she's become, the more nuanced character versus the pure evil she could be at times especially in the late 2000's and 2010's.

This though.. is reaching. So Azazel of all people would've conquered thew orld, which I call bullshit on as while he was portrayed as a genuine threat, and admittedly I haven't read the draco because if i'm going to do it i'm damn well going to get some content out of it and possibly money, he was never.. this level. And sure he could purely focus on it but.. dr strange existead at this point. The idea he needed to be distracted isn't terrible but I don't buy from the story set up he needed that to be stopped. It's servicible enough but dosen't feel valid.

The second part is more... iffy. Kurt needed to grow up hated nad feared , left with Margalai and growing form his pain. That feels very chosen oney and I don't like it. Kurt is who he is not due to fate but who he is. Thankfully what saves this from being pure garbage.. is the reactions of mother and son to it. Kurt is broken up, not wanting ot think he's bound to fate this tightly and just a puppet on invisible strings, while Raven.. nearly chokes irene scremaing MY SON IS NOT A TOOL OF FATE.

So Irene knowing they can't go on like this decides to mindwipe the whole stuff, something Raven agrees to but unlike irene she wants to remember Kurt's her son. Unforutnately they went to Charles Xavier for this and he warns her what her mind might do and wipes his own mind. Because he can do that. This is flimsy, but it makes sense and while Raven blames charles saying he made her hate her child, it was her own brain doing that. He warned her it might happened and as usual she didn't listen.

But she's more upset that in her rage and need to move on she let herself forget breaking down.. and as usual kurt forgives her

It's pwoerful words.. and the truth. Destiny may of seen how things were going.. but Kurt isn't who he is because of some fated path. As much as I hate that chosen oney framing, the comic does a good job making it clear that whatever Destiny saw.. Kurt is his own man.. and he's a man who wants the mom he never really had back. So the two forge an uneasy possible future, walking off.... tommorow is another day.

And so far this has stuck. Irene got restored too not wanting it at first but accepting kurt once she did get her memories properly restroed, and while both left, it wasn't to just abandon their kids, but simply because of that whole fate thing combind with being wandering soles. Plus it's easier for them to show up later in uncanny than have them in the cast from day one. Raven and Irene wander, it's what they do. So for now Kurt seems to be joining the cast of Uncanny X-Men while Myistque is getting her own mini up to some mysterious gameplan. But wherever they go... Kurt now has two mothers who love him.

X-Men Blue Origins is a fantastic issue packed with tons of fantastic emotoinal artwork, great writing and a really compelling wraparound as our heroes go through this story and find the truth. It also does the best it can to stand alone while not ignoring the story it's part of and nicely implements an idea decades in the making. This CAN go wrong as just because a great writer came up with it dosen't mean it's.. good as claremont also had some less stellar concepts, see x-men forever for that. Another sword of damocles over my head for another day. It's a great issue and well worth checking out on Marvel Unilmited or if you find it in a back issue bin or online or whatever and a gloriously gay idea executed at long last.

Next Time: We close out the month with a list! My top 12 x-runs! From factors to men it's the best of x

[star-seeking-stray]

End Of The Year

Well, the year is almost over. It was a wild year. There was such a mess of good and bad... but I'm pretty happy. I'm ending the year on a happy note.

So I decided on trying a little something. A recap? A summary? No idea, really-

Honestly back in spring life was... a mess. My old community was hell ever since some stuff happened 2023, and I was basically stressed daily because of a toxic friendship.

I joined Tumblr in January, I believe, but didn't really use it. Didn't know how, didn't know with what. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing because a commenter on my Wayward Star AU asked.

So I made a couple posts, barely used it. Just stalked. And then I got so, so lucky. Because I stumbled over @casinoownersigma's blog. Hi Kiji, bet you didn't expect this! You were the first rp blog I ever met, and while I only interacted via anons back then I think if it hadn't been for that, I would've never made an rp blog.

Believe it or not, my first one was a Nikolai. No one knew it existed, it was never really used except for posting some bird puns. And then @/justsigma-bsd happened and... well, y'all know the rest?

I was so scared of interacting with people. My old community was still kinda a thing, but due to how the community and plattform was changing, I slowly migrated over and started basically doing rp only here in the bsd community.

@panthera-tigristigris and @fukuzawa-armeddaddyagency were the first blogs I've ever properly interacted with. I still remember around half of the stuff from March and... I'm just really, really glad about it all.

Around April shit went down with my then-closest friend. We used to write daily, and she's who got me into rp originally back in 2019. Yea, this has been my hobby THAT long.

And honestly? I'm glad. Because "innocent jokes and teasing" was, in hindsight, just making fun of me for liking the stuff I like and being toxic. Asking for help/advice was just using me because in the end I got told I never did anything for her.

So yea, I'm glad the friendship ended, because I was the last to realize how toxic it was.

Spring was also the time when I realized "I'm failing this school" and, well, I did. I failed the school I went to and my parents and I argued for ages.

But it's fine. I'm still not completely sure where my life is going, but it's fine. Because I'm finding my way, somehow, I'm sure.

And over the course of the summer I met more and more rp blogs. I met awesome mods, like @aredeemantagonist, @star-tb, @paintedgrilledcheese, @myluckymoon, @currentlyeatingrocks and so, so many more.

And I love all of you guys. I don't know where I would be without y'all. Probably not on Tumblr, crying over a bunch of rp blogs being angsty, or silly, or just... them. I wouldn't have some of the oc I do. I wouldn't have had the fun I had.