#bc again. i am her. i cannot let her down she got me out of that situation

[girlypsyop]

Giving urself a speech trying to convince yourself that you'll love & take care of yrself is so hard to do when u spent 2 years in a relationship w sb who constantly gave u that same fucking speech and then never followed thru 😊

[love-belle]

looked for stars and i found a supernova !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which it takes a random song drop and a feature from a university student for their relationship to come to light.

or

for when it became true, opposites do attract. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // charles leclerc x fem!sargeant!reader

warnings - language

author's note - i am SO sorry i have no explanation for not posting except for the fact that i am now unemployed (i finished hs and don't start college till like august) and i just do Nothing the entire day. i love u all thank u for sticking around <3

≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, lilymhe and 729,816 others

yourusername boys are SO stupid and it's so endearing and frustrating like u r such a DUMBASS pls let me kiss u on the lips (i did ❤️)

8,628 comments

username hahahah!!! funny joke babe!!! kids and i and our goat miss u ❤️

username and like just that my bisexual ass cried tears (i never had a chance)

-> username she's for the girlies every man back OFFFFFF

username going insane over this

username i know logan is in shambles rn like that brother is distraught

-> yourusername he hasn't stopped calling me i had to block his number

-> logansargeant UNBLOCK my number i am your BLOOD

-> yourusername fuck off i will call mom

-> logansargeant have you ever known sanity in your life

-> yourusername have you ever felt loved

-> yourusername sorry can u please tell mom to stop yelling at me it's scary ok

-> username she did NOT need to do him like that

-> username oh that was FOUL

username she's so pretty i simply cannot believe a man can rizz her up

username do we ignore y/n violating her brother like that orrrrr

-> username u are an only child it seems

-> logansargeant it's just that she's mean

-> yourusername go and drown in a pond since u wanna act like a silly goose

username why is charles in the likes he don't even follow her

-> username i have the most funniest and silliest theory and im afraid saying it out loud will send logan into early retirement

alex_albon evil laugh

-> yourusername i pay u ENOUGH. any more and i will have to involve my lawyer WHAT DO U WANT

-> alex_albon ferrari has exceptional pasta

-> yourusername ahahahhajaha what's that got to do with me u little clusterfuck of a twink

-> alex_albon oh! absolutely nothing!

-> username i am screaming what the fuck

-> username "little clusterfuck of a twink" OH MY GOD

username crazy how everything she says is so real idk if that's the fan in me or i am just way too fucking down bad for her

*liked by charles_leclerc*

username love love LOVE see this rep bc my man is such an idiot but it's ok cus he's my princess

-> yourusername YOU GET IT !!!!! he's my princess <3

logansargeant what are you doing

-> yourusername tryna slut him out n then build a lego set w him

-> logansargeant i always knew you would be the one to bring generational shame to our family what is this behaviour

logansargeant what happened to "if i ever talk to a man again i want you to be disappointed in me" ?

-> yourusername u were disappointed in me nonetheless fym

-> logansargeant i

-> maxverstappen1 i can tell we would be great friends yourusername

-> logansargeant no way

logansargeant what happened to BIOLOGY you were supposed to be STUDYING

-> yourusername i did study

-> yourusername his anatomy

-> alex_albon logan just deleted this app i hope you're happy

-> username Y/N PLEASE HESITATE

-> username CRYINF SHE'S SO UNHINGED

username the way i can feel logan's mortification through the screen 😭😭

username when will it be me

username love to see women in stem (seducing the enigmatic men) idk im proud of her i know she was crying abt not finding the love she read bout

-> yourusername this might be my favourite comment ever i adore u

username prophecy be looking a bit too permanent 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 who's gonna change it 🤣🤣🤣 i am on my KNEES 🤣🤣🤣🤣

username everyday i learn something new about y/n and everyday i praise the lord that i can exist at the same time as her

*liked by charles_leclerc*

≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and 2,629,916 others

charles_leclerc you're in her dms, i wrote a song for her in under a day when we weren't even dating. we are not the same.

12,628 comments

username CRYING WHAT THE FUCK

username oh my god is this real

username CRYING THE SONG IS TOO GOOD

username HIS VLOCE JIS VOICE HIS VLICE HIS VOICE

username going crazy rn what the fuck

username HELLO?????? WHAT IS THIS

username need me a man like this thank u

username too much unpack he has a GIRLFRIEND and it's Y/N

-> username HE PULLS??? HE PULLED HER???

username this is life altering

username shaking from excitement i cannot WAIT for logan to download instagram again and be Surprised

landonorris disgusting

-> charles_leclerc forgive me for not wanting to hide my love ☹️

-> username NAH WHO GOT HIM LIKE THIS

username "thinking bout her eyes every hour she's my wildflower" OH HE'S IN LOVEEEE LOVE

username his voice oh my god

-> username tears dripping down my thighs

-> username OHMYGOD

maxverstappen1 "we are not the same" thank god

-> charles_leclerc bubonic plague 🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠

-> username nurse he's out 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

-> username nah who got him being funny

-> username DID PEOPLE SERIOUSLY NOT LISTEN TO THE SONG

-> username NO WAY THAT'S Y/N AT THE END

-> username "okaaaaaaay" CRYINF I LOVE THEM

username my life has been divided into before this song and after this song and im so grateful for that

username i think the most important thing here is who out of all his friends owns a toyota in which the heat don't work

username crying bc wdym charles wrote a song for his gf when they weren't even dating

username in love with y/n's voice at the end WHY IS THAT SO CUTE

-> username screaming i need this song injected in my veins

yourusername craaaaaaaazy how u never told me that ⁉️

-> charles_leclerc details details

yourusername cool song

-> charles_leclerc thank you i wrote it for my girlfriend

yourusername AHSHDHDJJSJSJAJS IN LOVE THIS WAS SO GOOD UR VOICE IS INSANE I LOVE IT SO MUCH

-> charles_leclerc THANK YOU !! ❤️

-> username they make me SICK

-> username calm bf 🤝 hyperactive gf

username the most important question is did logan re download this app

-> yourusername he did but then he saw this post, heard the song and deleted it again

-> yourusername he's just bitter i am bsfs with max before him

-> logansargeant disowned

-> yourusername my grad pic on the mantle BEGS to differ !!!!!! u are on the piano u have no room to talk

-> logansargeant i'm pushing you out of this year's christmas card

≡.;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and 899,527 others

yourusername got him to say he would still love me if i was a worm n now we go on walks and i point at every worm and say sorry i can't be her

tagged charles_leclerc

12,628 comments

username NO WAY THIS JS REAL

username i just want a detailed description of how they met and who asked the other out ☝️😞

username my roman empire the fuck

username the way their personalities crash when will it be me

username THE CAPTION IM SCREAMING

username the way she will never let that man know peace and i am so EXCITED

username she's so unhinged i love her

username LET IT ONCE BE ME PLEASEEE

username blocked (im laying on the highway tonight)

username the way i know logan had to be sedated

-> username my man did nothing wrong why are they torturing him 😭

alex_albon we're down one driver at williams

-> yourusername is it a good time to tell u that i recently got my license

-> logansargeant YOU FAILED YOUR TEST 5 TIMES FUCK OFFFFFFF

-> yourusername big emotions

-> username im cryinf what do you mean shw faield the test 5 TIMES ????

username LMAOO THE LAST SLIDE 😭😭😭 I LOVE HER

username parents dare i say

username max is not happy i can tell

-> yourusername i received a very strongly worded message from him yesterday and the only thing i could make out was that he's a bitch for charles like. a BITCH.

-> maxverstappen1 blasphemy

-> logansargeant NO WAY you're buddies with MAX VERSTAPPEN before ME back OFFFFFF

-> yourusername nurse he is out again 🗣️🗣️🗣️

-> username what are they doing to my boy 😭

logansargeant y/n please. THINK.

-> yourusername i did

-> logansargeant AND ?

-> yourusername he's nice i will keep him

-> logansargeant NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-> yourusername god forbid a girl wants to date a questionable man

-> charles_leclerc ?

username crazy how this is the most random couple ever and we're instantly like PARENTS !!!!

-> username i for once love them like the cultural clashes we're gonna get heh

charles_leclerc my love please

-> yourusername my pronouns are she not her because i'll never be her 🪱

-> charles_leclerc stop

charles_leclerc and can you please tell your brother to hesitate before speaking? he just offered me candy and a dollar to break up with you

-> yourusername FUCK U I AM WORTH WAY MORE THAN CANDY AND A DOLLAR

-> charles_leclerc that is not the issue here

charles_leclerc pretty girl

-> logansargeant keep your thoughts to yourself you hormonal vulgarian

-> yourusername TIME OUT FOR U let my bf live

-> charles_leclerc this is how my life is going to be from now on?

-> yourusername are u complaining (threatening)

-> username i KNOW logan is shaking behind the screen he just called charles leclerc a hormonal vulgarian

-> username sibling rage takes people places they wouldn't go with a gun

username this is hilarious

username logan's likes on twt are mind blowing like what do u MEAN u wish the plague on ur sister 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-> yourusername u should see what his texts look like

-> yourusername "you need an excoeciscism for the demon in u it might an issue idk" followed by quora links

-> username siblings ❤️

≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, logansargeant, carlossainz55 and 2,729,915 others

charles_leclerc silently working on our own little crafts in the same room tonight, queen? ❤️

tagged yourusername

11,628 comments

username CRYINGGGGG I HATE HIS GUTS

username LET IT ONCE BE ME HOLY SHITTTTTT

username they're so parents it's insane

username he's so relatable bc i too would be obsessed with y/n

username he definitely has one of those t-shirts that say "i ❤️ my gf"

-> yourusername he has one in every colour with diff fonts :((((

-> username GOODBYE

username need me a man who will sit in my general vicinity while we work on our own silly little crafts together

-> username charles might've just set a standard idk NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS

username that text.............im violently ill

username the matching rings wow god really does have favourites

yourusername wait a sec i got 12000% error on my scale

-> landonorris how do you even manage to do that

-> yourusername if u think women don't belong in stem just say that

-> landonorris STOP IT MY PR TEAM IS HUNTING ME DOEN FOR SPROT TAKE JT BACK

-> charles_leclerc shame on you

-> landonorris WJAT DID I DO

-> username crying they're terrorizing people for fun 😭

-> username we deserve this

yourusername fighting demons (a degree that i chose to study) to be on my phone bc my BOYFRIEND posted

-> charles_leclerc don't give logan more reasons to send me vaguely veiled threats

-> yourusername he does WHAT

-> logansargeant sending him links on how people got away with murder is HARDLY a threat idk why you're like this

-> username no way they got him UNHINGED

-> username 😭😭😭😭😭 he's so

yourusername MY BABY LEO 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

-> charles_leclerc i am right there

-> yourusername so is leo 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

yourusername are u mitosis bc i never metaphase as cute as urs

-> charles_leclerc i am too dumb to understand this but you are the prettiest

-> yourusername king i am so in love with u

-> logansargeant i judt tfeew up

-> yourusername leave me ALONE

username i hope all the happy couples break up (why couldn't it be me in a relationship)

username SCREAMING HE'S SO DOWN BAD

[nereidprinc3ss]

okay i know this is kind of a specific request but can you do something with professor Spence and uni reader where they get into a spat and argue bc she did something stupid and he gets mad and she’s like “noooo pls don’t be mad i hate when you’re mad at me I’m sorry🥺” bc she literally cannot function knowing she let him down (me with everybody) but he’s like super stubborn and goes all closed up and quiet so that he doesn’t like blow up on her until she finally says like “pls talk to me” and he’s all pissed and like “hell na bitch u crazy!🗣️‼️” but then later he’s like “it’s ok i love u but neva do that shit again ho” then they make up and it’s good again 🎀 ok i explained that so poorly (and comedically if i may) but i hope u get it and pls make it SO DRAMATIC bc I live for drama! like she steals test answers or something or does something that could like get her kicked out of school OR him lose his job 🤔 sigh … idk I’m leaving now. Also i LOOPOOOCE ORRKGOOVI love your fics. Luv em

hey girl (gender neutral) this made me laugh bc genuinely sometimes i write spencer so ooc that is what he sounds like. and i'm not sorry! anyway this is potentially a vyvanse fueled nightmare but i wrote it and i'm posting it MY BLOG MY RULES BITCHESSSS!!!! but genuinely read the content warning LMAO this one got a lil kick to it

warnings/tags: ANGST, HURT/COMFORT, fem!reader, spencer and r get into a for real argument like they're mean to each other, spencer is a lil toxic but its resolved, emotionally neglects reader just for a teeensy second but then he's really nice and sweet again, discussion of his past addic+ion, gets fluffy because i'm not EVIL, gets suggestive at the end bc i am secretly evil.......

a/n: i don't know whats happening. this confuses me just as much as it confuses you. its 3 am in the morning. im gonna post nice happy things soon. Gootbye

“I cannot believe you right now. I don’t even—I don’t even know what to say.” 

“Spencer, you don’t have to say anything. It has nothing to do with you, and I’m not looking for your approval.” 

He looks up from where he’d been rubbing his temples, like you’re a headache, eyebrows raised and lips parted in indignant disbelief. 

“Oh! You’re not looking for my approval? Well thank god for that, because if you were one of my students I would recommend expulsion to the board.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me? I just said I don’t care about your opinion on this, much less your hypothetical opinion from some alternate universe where you have any authority over my education whatsoever.” 

“You distributed an answer key to half of your class! Objectively this is the kind of thing that gets people expelled. I don’t understand how someone so smart could do something so fucking stupid.” 

The words bite more than you were prepared for—but what hurts even more is how much he seems to mean them. In arguments past you’d both said things you didn’t mean, and then would immediately melt into I’m so sorry’s and the fight would resolve itself. Spencer’s clenched jaw and inability to make eye contact with you do not lend themselves to tender apologies. They cannot be attributed to miscommunication. 

You take a step closer to where he’s bracing himself against the countertop, arms crossed defensively in front of your chest. 

“Spencer, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was such a big deal. People cheat in college all the time.” 

Still no reply. His head shakes so minutely you wonder if you’re imagining it. Panic wells in your chest. 

“Please talk to me. I really hate when you ice me out. I’m sorry, okay? Just... please say something.” 

Finally, his eyes slide to you. They lack the fiery anger of moments ago but there’s not much softness there either. His normally warm gaze now feels too abrasive, too cold and sharp on your bare skin. You're exposed, much too soft for that grating look, and it feels like he can see everything that’s wrong with you. 

“Believe me when I tell you this. I am doing us both a favor by not speaking to you right now.” 

And then he’s leaving the kitchen—nothing but a breeze against your cheek and the sound of a door slamming to prove he was ever there. 

The apartment is silent. You stand in the middle of the kitchen, unsure of what to do next. Spencer very, very rarely gets angry at you to the point of neglect, and you know he’s doing his best with what was modelled for him as a child and his tendency to feel things so deeply it’s nearly disabling; but that doesn’t make it hurt much less. It doesn’t make you feel less abandoned or alone.  

You’re sad, and you’re still pissed, and maybe you’re in just a bit of shock as you robotically move back to your nest of blankets on the couch and resume your schoolwork. What else is there to do? Unless Spencer is right—unless you really are about to get expelled after getting the answer key for an upcoming test from a friend, who then gave it to another friend, and so on. But is that really your fault?  

It’s a struggle to stay focused as your mind keeps drifting back to Spencer in the other room, those cruel words and that cold steely look in his eye that isn’t supposed to ever be aimed at you. It’s not a secret that side of him exists, but it doesn’t belong in this apartment. It’s not something he needs to use against you. He’s supposed to be on your side. But instead, he’d said you should be expelled and essentially called you stupid. And now you’re doing homework for a class at a school you may not even be a student of come Monday. 

---------------------------------------------------

The sound of the office door opening forty-five minutes later spikes your blood pressure and simultaneously makes your heart flutter, because no matter how mad at him you might be, Spencer is still Spencer.  

He comes to stand behind the couch quietly, but you don’t acknowledge him. Maybe your typing gets a bit more aggressive, but aside from that you flat out reject his presence. 

“Can we talk?” 

You let him sweat for a minute as you finish your paragraph. 

“I don’t know, Spencer. Can we? Or are you not done with your temper tantrum?” 

“That is... well deserved,” he sighs, rounding the couch and tapping the bottom of your foot, signaling that he wants you to move your legs. You despise how automatically you comply, pulling your knees to your chest to avoid touching him as he sits next to you. There’s a long moment of silence, in which you resume typing. Spencer scoffs, leaning in slightly to peer at your screen. “Are you doing homework right now? I’m a complete asshole to you and you just... do your homework?"

“What the fuck else was I supposed to do?” you almost-yell, slamming your laptop shut and blinking away potential tears. “The only person I wanted to talk to called me stupid and fucking left!” 

The tears realize their potential once you admit the blunt truth. 

Spencer carefully moves your laptop and pulls you into his arms—and you just let him. There’s not much fight left in you. There wasn’t a lot to begin with. 

“I am so sorry, angel. You’re right, I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have yelled, I shouldn’t have said what I said, I shouldn’t have walked away. I overreacted.” 

“Yeah, you really did,” you cry, allowing him to run his hand over your hair. “Why did you do that? Why were you so fucking mean?” 

His voice shakes slightly as he responds, betraying his own anxieties, and a new, unwelcome sense of trepidation slithers through your veins. 

“I was wondering that, too. Even as I was saying it, I knew—I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to be saying. And then I was in the other room and I wanted to be out here, and I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t. But I think I was just scared. Which—I know, doesn’t really make sense, but... I think about when Ethan dropped out of the academy, and ended up doing heroin in New Orleans for three years, and I think about when I almost left the BAU because I was so convinced I’d never get clean that I didn’t even want to anymore, and—and the idea of you losing your education and your direction like that terrified me, probably unreasonably, and I took it out on you. And I’m sorry.” 

“But I’m not like you or Ethan. You don’t have to worry about that. Even if I... even I do get in some sort of disciplinary trouble. That’s a road you don’t have to worry about me going down, ever.” 

He fixes some unseen wrinkle on your shirt.  

“Yeah, but, remember... I used to not be like me or Ethan either. Do you think twelve-year-old Spencer would have ever even considered that of the infinite realities and universes which exist, he was living in one where someday he’d be shooting up in the bathroom at work?” 

“Mm-mm,” you hum, shaking your head and burying your face in Spencer’s shoulder. The sound is more of a plea for him to be less descriptive than an answer to his rhetorical question. It’s still much easier for him to talk about that part of his life than it is for you to have to actually imagine it. You didn’t know him then, but you’ve seen pictures, and you know Spencer now, and it’s... it’s just too much. Too sad. 

“Okay,” he agrees soothingly, still playing with your hair. “I digress. My point is that literally anything is possible, and while it’s not necessarily likely, I more than anyone know that anxiety even over the most improbable of things is never completely unfounded.”  

You sniffle in response, too emotionally and physically exhausted to contribute much to the conversation by this point. Thankfully, Spencer can talk for two. An idiosyncrasy which you love and comes in handy every once in a while. He can play his own devil’s advocate; in this case, you. 

“But that doesn’t mean I get to take it out on you. Ever. I truly, truly, sincerely apologize for that. I never want to hurt you.” 

You let the apology sink into your skin like a salve, soothing every abrasion those earlier words had left in their violent wake. 

After a few minutes, you find the energy to ask a question that might best remain unanswered. 

“Are you still mad at me?” 

He’s quiet for a beat, seemingly contemplative as his fingers trace abstract patterns in a language all his own on your arm. 

“I’m not thrilled. But you were right earlier. It’s not my place to be mad at you for something like that.” 

“Mm... it’s a little bit your place. You’re an actual professor.” 

He chuckles. 

“At an entirely different university.” 

“Thank god,” you laugh. “You and me at the same school would be such an HR clusterfuck.”

While it’s almost a serious matter, the smile in his voice is evident. 

“Yeah... I, uh... try not to think about it.” 

“Okay, but seriously. In your professional opinion. Am I fucked? Like, do I need to prepare an appeal and character witnesses or whatever?” 

Spencer sighs. 

“It was incredibly reckless and irresponsible. You should be ready for disciplinary pushback from the schoolboard if you get caught. That being said... because over sixty of you got a hold of the answer key, I doubt anyone is getting expelled, and even if they did, it would likely only be the TA and the student he gave the key to. It’s my tentative, professional opinion that you’ll probably be fine.” 

You relax slightly, allowing a tension you didn’t realize was there to shed like an old skin. 

“I’m not gonna cheat again,” you promise on an exhale. It’s simply too much risk for too little reward.

Spencer’s response is quiet, and comes much faster than you’d expected. 

“Oh, I know you aren’t. Because if you do, you’re going to have to worry about disciplinary action from me. And I’m not nearly as nice as the dean of your school, darling girl.” 

But something about the way he says it—a thinly veiled threat/promise contrasted by a sweet kiss to your forehead—doesn’t exactly make academic honesty look all that exciting.

[eccentricwritingbaby]

baby, incoming!

carlos sainz x fem!singer!reader

summary - you and carlos have been married for over a year now and you’ve gone MIA. what could be the reason? new music or a new beginning? maybe both?

fc - emrata

masterlist

-

Liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, yourusername and 345,765 others

scuderiaferrari our boys are ready, tifosi! are you? #MexicoGP

username they are so attractive its crazy

username lets all pray ladies and gents that there will be a ferrari double podium

username now that is a reach but im right there with you

carlossainz55 ready as always!

username do we think yourusername will actually be there… she hasnt been to the last like 4 gp’s 

username idk but im hoping mothers absence is bc of a new album drop

username omggg pleaseee ive been needing her music

charles_leclerc <3

“and you’re sure you’ll be alright while i’m gone, mi amor?” carlos asks you for what feels like the hundredth time as he is packing up his suitcase. you sigh, walking out of your shared closet and placing another one of his clean ferrari polos into the suitcase and then heading to take a seat on the bed next to his luggage.

“quierdo, soy perfecto. i am pregnant, not dying. now please stop worrying about me while your parents as well as mine stay down the street. i am not alone, mi amor, and you are my first call if anything happens,” carlos listens carefully as he forgets about packing momentarily to come stand between your legs that were dangling off the bed, you reach out as he moves closer to hold both of his hands in yours in order for him to receive the message fully, “porfa, i will be fine just like i have been before,”

carlos gives a quick squeeze to your hands and a brief kiss on your forehead as he soaks in the words he was just told, “yo sé, cariño. i just hate missing everything and leaving you while you need me,” the guilty, solemn look on his face is enough for you to quickly stand, remove his hands from yours and wrap your arms tight around him.

he reciprocates the hug quickly with his hands finding your waist with a firm grip, “mi amor you've been there for me constantly and will be there for our baby once they come; besides me being stuck at home will finally give me an excuse to finish out my album so you have no reason to feel guilty,” you slowly loosen your grip in order to look into his warm, inviting eyes yet his hands never leave your waist.

he gives you a short kiss and then begins to speak up once more, “i just wish we could announce you’re pregnant already so that i could be with you, i hate being apart already and this just makes it harder,” he leans his forehead on yours as his hands disappear from your waist in order to lightly begin caressing your small yet prominent bump, “i know, my love, but my manager would kill me if she could not find a way to make one short announcement work in my albums favor, even if it means capitalizing on my baby,” you say with a short laugh.

carlos just smiles on with you by saying, “welcome to hollywood,” there is then a small kiss, a finished packing job, a sad goodbye and then a long plane ride for carlos as he arrives for the mexico grand prix. 

carlossainz_fanpage looks like carlos is riding solo again, now for the mexican gp … trouble in paradise? new music? baby bump? who knows but i miss our mother

username it looks like hes still wearing his ring in the pictures of him arriving and all the ones ive seen

username oh thank god bc i cannot handle being a child of divorce rn

username me neither i rlly hope its the complete opposite and us children are gaining a brother or sister

username omgggg i hope she is pregnant she’d just be the cutest

username pleaseeee i need an album from her its been like two years now i cant take it

username RIGHT?! she got married and abandoned us :/

you had already received a text from carlos telling you that he landed and was heading to his hotel and then the paddock and he would call you later.

something about his words earlier had been sticking with you all day in the back of your head, ‘i hate being apart already and this just makes it harder’.

you and carlos had known each other before the fame with your parents being friends and the both of you have dated throughout it. you rarely were apart as you would go to almost all his races and travel with him and in turn during his breaks you would tour and he would tag right along. it had always worked beautifully since the flexibility of your job allowed you to work from ultimately anywhere, therefore why not spend it following and being with the love of your life? the distance from carlos was difficult, not even remotely from distrust or anything negative, just the simplicity of missing out.

you made a fast but firm decision and began to pack a bag. you gave a quick call to your mother in law informing her of your plan and letting her know you’d be by soon to drop off the dogs and then she began to insist she even drive you to the airport.

she has always loved you like a daughter for as long as you and carlos have been together claiming ‘she is just so good for him, no sé’.

then there is a quick flight, a large hoodie thrown on, and a pregnant y/n waiting right outside carlos’ hotel door.

your hand is brought up and with a sharp knock you stand still simply waiting. carlos takes a minute to open the door and as he does his eyes immediately light up, “y/n!” he makes haste to pull you into his room and into his arms immediately, “qué haces aquí?”

“ay! you’re asking me what i’m doing here instead of a long i love you my beautiful wife thank you for coming,” you mock and joke as he continues to rock you back and forth in his hold.

“lo siento, amor, gracias para coming all this way,” he leans back to look into your eyes while one of his hands finds its way to your bump,

“i was just confused because everyone is going to see, no?” he continues. you nod and begin to laugh while saying, “to be completely honest, carlos, i dont give a fuck. my fans will either buy my album or won't, it doesn't depend on our child. and i for sure am not going to miss out on seeing you race or rob you from any papi/baby time just for a stupid album,” he listens to you speak while his eyes begin to glisten over with happiness, “y/n, i’m so happy porfa can we post now so that i can take you out to a nice dinner and we can actually be people again,” he finishes off his sentence with a laugh.

you just simply smile, nod and give him his answer in a long-awaited passionate kiss. “gracias dios,” he whispers against your lips with a small sigh as you just let out a giggle.

you were a bit nervous before but now after being with carlos and seeing his relief you know you made the right decision. 

yourusername and carlossainz55 baby sainz coming soon <3

comments on this post have been disabled.

y/ncarlos_updates PREGGERS Y/N ARRIVING IN THE PADDOCK TODAY!

username holyyyyy shit she looks so good

username MOTHER IS AN ACTUAL MOTHER

username and our daddy is about to be an actual daddy!!

username they are going to be the most attractive parents ever

username stop im so happy for them this is so cute

username their entire childhood bff to lovers trope and now they’re having a baby like dream come true

username no fr its like watching them grow up before our eyes its so cute

username shes still got such good style even when pregnant i am green with envy rn

username that makes two of us

username u just know the gc is blowing up rn with which driver is going to be godfather

username we all know that if it is a driver itll be landonorris

landonorris damn right

username WHAT THE FU-

[elsweetheart]

More of coworker!Ellie please! I am a waitress and costumers can be so rude sometimes… that one you just posted literally made me cry, wishing I had an Ellie to defend me and cheer me up :(

If you don’t want to it’s fine tho, don’t worry <3

nooo don’t cry!!!!!!!! i used to be a waitress n i know the struggles trust me !!! (lovingly throws these coworker!ellie hcs your way)

• so you’re a waitress, and ellie is a host and occasionally a bartender. those are her paid jobs. however, she ends up somehow being a security guard every single time a rude customer shows up. okay, maybe just your own personal security guard.

• the other waitresses can handle their business, and of course you can too — but she can see how frightened and upset you get every time a customer raises their voice at you and she cannot just stand there. instantly, she’s sliding infront of your body with a glare, flagging down security with her free hand. “out. this isn’t the kinda place you can direspect the waitresses, so respectfully— uh, bye.” she nods to the exit.

• she wants to tell them to get the fuck out. wants to tell them that if they ever raise their voice at you again it’ll be the last time they ever speak. but, she likes her job. she likes being able to keep an eye on you and protect you.

• if it’s not clear, she’s like — in love with you.

• always getting distracted by how pretty you look flouncing around, smiling at your usuals. she even thinks you look adorable when the place gets busy and you get that little stressed pout on your face, running back and fourth to the kitchen with your little notepad.

• purposely takes her breaks at the same time as you so the two of you can hang out, gossiping about customers (and your other coworkers tbh cos working at a restaurant there’s always gonna be drama.)

• like i mentioned before, always bringing u to the back room when she sees u get upset because of a customer / your mean boss and calms u down. “hey, hey, hey. eyes on me, babe. you’re doing good out there, okay? i know it’s hard. you’re doing so good. don’t let ‘em see you cry, yeah? those assholes don’t deserve to know that they got to you.” whilst she’s holding your face keeping ur big teary eyes on hers :(

• she knows ur rota off by heart bc she schedules to work on all the days u do 🤭 and if u don’t show up to ur shift or take a sick day or something she’s instantly texting u like ‘Where are you????’ and she’s just like ughhhhh bc working shifts without u is soooo long and boring !!!!

• always dropping by u and making u laugh if she can see u getting a little stressed. you’d be wiping up a table and she’d just walk behind you and quietly go “hey. table 53 looks like mr incredible. bye.” and walk away leaving u giggling 😭

• if it’s busy, and hard to get around eachother around the restaurant floor, she’ll do that thing where she has to get past behind u and will put her hands on your hips / waist and basically press herself against u like “‘scuse me.” in her low drawl and she doesn’t know what she’s doing when she does it, she’s just used to doing it to make sure u don’t back into her but it always makes ur heart beat reaaal fast :))))

• loads of ur co workers already think you’re dating, or secretly dating, or whatever. they see right through the whole ‘just friends’ thing, constantly trying to encourage the other one to ask eachother out !!!!!

• doing a closing shift with her on a pretty empty night, her shift ended a few hours ago but she stays with u, sitting at a table as u chat to her, sweeping up around u and occasionally tending to the few random lone tables of people having a late night meal. she loves to just sit n watch u :(

• sometimes she even offers to drive u to work / pick u up. “ellie are you sure? that seems like a lot of effort…”

“nah, don’t even worry ‘bout it. it’s on the way, so i might aswell, ya know?”

• it’s definitely not on the way during her route, but she’ll take the extra ten minute detour anyday just to see you smiling n looking pretty in her passenger seat <333

[clearheartsgreyflowerss]

A doctor's touch- Baizhu x fem!reader

this is so damn self indulgent and not really as much of a fic but more just my thoughts on Baizhu, so like slightly suggestive? That's like the only warning I have other than this is NOT proofread and will just be word vomit

Once again if you see grammar mistakes no you don't :)

I am 100% under the belief that Baizhu is a touchy person, like he will not get his hands off you. Before you two started dating he would leave little fleeting touches, to your shoulders, to your hands, to your thighs, etc. he just loves the feeling of your skin, even if for a few seconds.

When you two do start dating, good luck trying to get away from him. He will do everything holding your hand, with you in his lap, or just the two of you pressed close together, he just wants to always be near you!

Also he's a doctor, I know he's good with his hands. If he's not busy he will give you massages, and God I'm sure they're the best you'll ever have. He knows exactly where to put pressure and where not to, I'm sure he knows your body better than his own.

His favorite body part is definitely your thighs, he just loves how squishy and soft they are! If he has a break with you he will definitely lay his head on them, changsheng honestly is a little annoyed bc that means she actually has to move off his shoulders.

Speaking of Changsheng, she's totally a fan of you. even if she likes to complain, she does that about everyone, she does it significantly less about you dw :)

I mean this is a pretty obvious thing but he is the best person to be around when you're sick. I mean you literally live in a pharmacy with a doctor, he'll have you feeling better as fast as possible. Aside from the obvious though, I can see him actually being somewhat distraught while you're sick, not enough for anyone else to notice but changsheng, but still.

"Baizhu, you are well aware I don't like being around your neck if your hair is down." Changsheng started to slither up his arm, but stopped as she got closer to his neck. She hissed a little, before he raised his arm to meet her eyes.

"my apologies Changsheng, I've just been a little busy this morning." He walks over to the counter in the storage area of Bubu pharmacy, where he puts her down and then walks out of the room. She hisses once more, but curls up and waits for him to return.

He comes back into the room a few minutes later with his hair done, though changsheng can tell it wasn't done with his normal precision.

"You know [Name] just has a common fever, correct? I can tell that's what's bothering you."

"I am well aware, and it isn't bothering me, I don't know what you are talking about." Changsheng let out a grumble as she makes her way back up his arm and around his shoulders.

"you may be able to fool her, but you cannot fool me."

On the flip side, he is a NIGHTMARE to deal with if he is sick (well, more sick than he normally is). I mean he's literally dying, what's a little bit of extra coughing going to do to him? You are actually going to have to lock him in his room. Or lock yourself in there with him, at least you'll keep him occupied for longer till he tries to escape back to work.

He also will refuse to admit he's sick, like changsheng is at a point where shes begging you to make him lie down for a day or two. Yet he continues to brush off both of you, he always insists there is more work to be done. Even if you get him out right to admit that he's sick, he's still gonna try and take care of himself. He'll try to find all the medicine himself, make his own food etc., just because he doesn't want you to get sick too.

Back to him being touchy (sorry I was talking to my friend while I was writing they brought the being sick thing up) anyway, I think even if he's touchy, he's not a big fan of PDA. Like if you two are just around bubu pharmacy he will always be at the very least holding your hand, but when you two are out and about that's like the most he will do. It's not that he's embarrassed, he just doesn't find it necessary. If you two are out you're probably doing stuff, there's no need to be slowed down by constant touch (though if that's something you want he definitely isn't against it >:3)

THIS IS FOR ALL MY POLY PEOPLE IF YOU DONT LIKE THAT JUST SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH

I believe Baizhu would be open to being in a polyamorous relationship, whether that means both of you are just in an open relationship or you both have a third partner, he definitely doesn't care. I don't think he gets jealous easily, so if you bring another partner around he will welcome them very easily. He does tend to get defensive though, if he believes that one of your other relationships is hurting you, he will tell you what he thinks.

Anyway yeah I thought this was gonna be longer but guess who fucking forgot Tumblr existed! My finals were so stressful and honestly writing even after I was done with them also felt stressful, so I took another break. Hopefully I can get back into writing this summer, (may write some kind of birthday fic bc my birthday was a week ago). I hope y'all are enjoying the shit that I post, I know it's so inconsistent and random, but we're almost at 60 followers which is crazy to me, like the fact that 60 of you like my shitty thoughts enough to follow me is so crazy I love all of you sm :3

Also I'm so sorry if this is unreadable I finished it without looking back at anything that I wrote last so uhhh sorry if I repeated any thoughts.

Daily click to help those in Palestine

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for pacifying my little niece in a "strange"/unnatural way when her mom doesn't like how i do it?

so i have autism and i cannot stand the sound of crying babies, not only is it grating to my ears but i feel like i have to do everything i can to help the baby feel better. i feel so bad about it and i gotta make the baby happy somehow; except i am REALLY bad at interacting with children and have no idea how to act around them normally. anyway, earlier i woke up to the sound of my little niece screaming because she accidentally hurt her arm and she wouldn't let anyone put a bandaid on it bc she was scared. which fair, i get it, it's scary.

i decided that i wanted to somehow get her to stop screaming though bc it was loud so i walked up to her and she immediately stopped screaming out of confusion (lol) bc i rarely ever leave my room, and i got down to her level and just stared at her. of course i tried to look nice by smiling but i straight up didn't know what to say so i just stared. she stared back and i went "hey, its ok. stop crying." and left back to my room when she just kept staring at me silently (she doesnt talk yet), which i guess is a win if she stopped crying.

apparently that was weird to her mom and she told me to be more normal about it. i told her that if it worked it worked, but she still didn't like it cause it was freaky apparently. which i kind of get but i'm 4'10" with dorky ass glasses i don't think i'm that scary, i'm just socially awkward. maybe she's just worried that her kid will pick up on the habit and while it sounds funny it probably isn't good. kinda feel bad about it so idk if i'm gonna do that again either way but i'm curious

What are these acronyms?

[ja3yun]

"Hi, baby. You miss me?" he asks, his voice low and seductive as he snakes towards you with deliberate steps.

that's fucking it. im SO weak for heeseung in this series be it the prince of hell or an angel, lee heeseung you'll always be a menace and i love you for it/

“Do you remember? You were grinding yourself on my foot like a pathetic little bitch.”

STOP?!?!?!

"My offer is still on the table, baby," he murmurs, his voice laced with a mixture of desire and determination. "Come find me."

HEESEUNG GET LOST😭😭😭

‘Fuck, Jaeyun, you look so pretty sucked into my pussy like that’.

oh? oh.

"Sorry, force of habit," he confesses, his tone filled with remorse. Yet, it's a habit he shouldn't have slipped back into so effortlessly, yet it felt like breathing; as if touching you was his birthright.

sunghoon :(( why is he so soft here i love him

Yet, he is still posing the offer to get rid of her for you to stay. No person in love would give their partner up so easily.

EXACTLY???? so many questions

“I’m…here,” he breathes out, dejection laced within his tone.

😭😭😭😭

OKAY the whole confession scene???? why must you make me suffer this way aj what do you want from me "I think you brought my humanity back," stoppppppppppppppp im crying “But you’ll never be mine. Jaeyun is your soulmate, how the fuck am I supposed to compete with that?” oh my goshshshs the heaviness in this sentence is hitting me so bad

"We could."

YAWSSSSSSSS HERE IT GOESSKJDFKS

“That I should kiss you.”

THIS IS WHERE I L O S E IT I LOVE SCENES LIKE THIS LIKE THE INTIMACY???? THE HONESTY???? THE DESIRE????

“Let’s make her feel everything she deserves. Don't be selfish, understand?”

PARK SUNGHOON IM ON MY FUCKING KNEES.

“I want you to ride his face, baby girl, you can do that for me, can’t you?”

fuck offfff no WAYYY ohhh this is going to be sooo hot

Their synchronised actions take you by surprise as both boys wear smug smiles, their eyes alight with mischief as they slide down the bed, positioning themselves between your thighs with confident ease.

IM LOSING IT HELPPP

As their lips meet in a tender kiss, the room seems to hold its breath, the air thick with unspoken emotions.

that's it i love this. so damn much.

Jaeyun looks up with his big eyes and smiles, then kisses a heart pattern on your chest, a ritual he has performed countless times since becoming yours. It’s his unique way of saying good morning and expressing his affection.

HE'S.SO.CUTE.

“My pretty girl. Have you come to take me up on the offer finally?”

get this man off this series please i cannot do this im too weak for this yn take the offer up please

“My soul. Take it.”

YN YOU STUPID BIT- im sorry she's so fucking brave what the fuck??? oh damn to be able to love like that

Jaeyun, not wanting to be left out, pouted and tossed his controller aside. He scrambled over, a wide smile on his face, and wrapped his arms around both of you. "My two favourite people!" he exclaimed, his voice brimming with joy as he squeezed you both tightly.

good lord may the world never hurt this man

AJ😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

tdh is something that i will never forget for the rest of my life. im not even lying, thought this fanfiction era of us might be shortlived? the way you write, the emotions these characters have felt? i've felt them too you're such an amazing writer i actually have no words. this is incredible im so glad i got to read this.

tdh is so so close to my heart😭😭😭

also please never write tdh heeseung again or i will shoot myself im kidding im not strong enough for him

also the smut 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 starstruck as we speak, it was crazy good aj i love you so much okay bye

KAYZ I HAD A FEELING YOU WOULD LOVE IT SKSKDJDJDJ thank you so much for supporting me bc i seriously appreciate it more than i can ever express!

i'm super duper glad you loved the epilogue! i'll cherish this series so much and even as you've broken it down like this i realise how much i love and will miss them 😭

[beanghostprincess]

i need to know what you think about uta being ace's and sabo's sister too... like imagine a perfect world where uta existed without the mess of film red (i did enjoy it but also uhhhhhhhh there are a lot of weird things abt it bc i dont think shanks would actually take in uta like that considering he did experience piracy as a kid. so why would he put uta through that even if she'd stay put on the ship–) ANYWAY. so lets say shanks found uta after obtaining the devil fruit and takes her to the nearest island (dawn island.) then found makino and luffy and convinces her to stay w them or whatever.

i imagine that ace and uta do bicker w each other a lot. however sabo is very kind and excited to have a sister!! he's protective of her and enjoys her songs. (which brings out a surprising singing side from sabo ehe...)

i also imagine that uta is as rowdy and gluttonous as her brothers tbh. i mean, she's the only girl there so she's more than likely to be influenced by them. ALSO imagine uta being raised by dadan wheewwwww.... i think if she was raised alongside asl bros, she'd end up way different than she did in film red and well- actually become a pirate– (maybe rivaling with her brothers? that or she acts as luffy's biggest rival to be pirate king as her way of supporting his dream) (idk im just thinking as i type)

so everythings the same but uta is there with three insane brothers (shes as insane too... she is their equal). though it's lowkey clear dadan has a favorite (she loves a tough daughter) and god everything w garp would be so insane too like. before sabo was accepted and started living with the bandits, garp was happy to have a granddaughter (till she said she wanted to become a pirate too 😭) BUT he makes sure ace and luffy treats their sister right and is again being a favorite– however, she wouldn't suck up to him like that. like how the brothers would shield each other from garp, she would also shield them from garp !!

"leave my little brothers alone, old geezer!"

and yes, even if uta is a year younger than ace and sabo, she still would call herself a big sister (especially for knowing luffy longer than the other two. shes just used to being the older one)

anyway... lets say asul au is a tjing, now consider ASUL + S as we love talking about asl+s. with uta around, sanji likely thinks that all sisters are good because shes nice to him too. and how she clearly loves her brothers too. but ofc, uta surrounded by brothers while claiming to be the big sister, makes sanji incredibly jealous about their sibling relationship. it reminds him of reiju and his brothers, how they never really got along. while asul got along really well. they fight a lot but it's never with the intention to hurt each other or make the other feel worthless.

and who am i if i dont bring up sabosan at some point LOL. (also mb that this ask is so long i just love uta sm and i love aus sooo bad <<3) uta is definitely one of the first to notice her brothers' fondness of sanji. she is fond as him as well but not the same way as them lol. she tells sanji some secrets about sabo and sanji just cannot tell if shes actually serious or not because of how mischievous her smile is. and uta absolutely teases sabo about sanji, especially when hes not around like– that little song that little kids sing when it comes to someone havinf a crush.

"sabo and sanji sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g !"

and luffy definitely chimes in while sabo is beet red and begging them to shut up fkldjfldj. makino and uta Looooves gossiping about sabo and sanji. makino does ask to tone down her teasing, which she does, but she can't help but push each other's buttons.

idk theres just a lot to think about if uta was raised with asl brothers and uta growing up to be a pirate :^)

THIS IS SO CUTE !!!! Honestly, Film Red never sat right with me but not exactly because of Shanks' decision of keeping Uta. I see that pretty much in character for the guy-- What I don't like is the way they rushed the ending and the way it all ended, in general. It's just obvious they wanted to do Uta's story but in a way that didn't affect the canon and it's just- Stupid. Idk.

But let's say Shanks meets Uta and spend some years together and she does consider him her father (as I see it, because in this sibling group all of them have to have daddy issues. Except Luffy. Because more than daddy issues he just. Doesn't care-) but he leaves her with Luffy because he says it will be good for her. I think she wouldn't agree with his decision and something like in the movie would happen. Where he just... Leaves. And Uta ends up hating him or at least resenting him a bit. And it's obvious he did for her and he had good intentions but she's just a kid, so she genuinely takes it personal. So, yeah, the girl stays as Luffy's older sister, basically. At least this is how I see it.

Then Sabo and Ace appear and- It's chaotic.

Imo, she's still a diva and she still loves music because it's in her blood and also, she spent some time with Shanks so she already has a bit of her personality made. But being with them makes her learn more about protecting herself and being a bit ruthless, although I think she's more of the type to ler her brothers do the dirty work and only follow them in their shenanigans if they go "You only say that because you can't do it!!" (<- Ace, definitely) and she has to prove she can be as strong as them. So she's a diva but she's a bit more impulsive and reacts in a more violent way. Especially with food too.

I think she wouldn't get along much with Ace at first because he's a mess and she's also a mess and they're really similar when it comes to being Luffy's older siblings so they wouldn't agree on most stuff. But daddy issues are a good way of bonding and I'm pretty damn sure that if Ace ever said "Should I have been born?" in front of her, she would go insane trying to make him see that everybody deserves to live.

With Sabo, though, I think they'd get along pretty well. Sabo is still chaotic but a bit calmer than Ace and he has a strong ideology that Uta would definitely share. He wants to make a statement for freedom and Uta agrees and tbh, he's a writer and she's a singer and there's no better friendship than that one.

Her relationship with Luffy is pretty much the same, except that she now acts way more as a sister and not only as a past friend. Of course. She joins them drinking too!!

Ngl, you can hate me for this but I think the events of Red could easily happen... Again... I mean... Not exactly those events but-- Uta's dream would obviously be to reach everyone with her music. To make them feel seen and loved and making them see they should live. Because after spending so much time with her brothers, she wants to sing songs for the rest of the people that feel the same way they do. She always has them in mind when she sings and she always, always, tries to make them have fun and enjoy life. I think Uta's perception of living and freedom would clash a lot with Ace's and she'd try to make him want to live through music. Same with with freedom and Sabo/Luffy.

But then Sabo dies. And Ace dies. But Sabo comes back and-- I am sorry, and I know it partially was the mushroom's fault, but she's kind of unstable mentally (who isn't in this show tbh) and it wouldn't surprise me that her blatant optimistic views would make her want to do exactly what happens in Red again. But I think this time it should be Sabo and Luffy the ones saving her and, you know, idk, maybe Shanks is there too but this isn't about him today. Whatever. She doesn't hurt anyone and it has a good ending, but it's not the point of the post--

So Sanji is there with them! Following what we've already been saying about Sanji staying with the ASL bros but now adding Uta!!

Uta would absolutely. Adore. Sanji. He's the perfect little sibling. He's cute and knows how to cook and he's literally everything that's right in this world. She complains about Luffy crying but when Sanji does so she only says it's cute and that he deserves to cry-- Uta likes cute stuff canonically and Sanji is the cutest thing, so it makes sense. Also, Sanji just assumes every woman in the world is perfect from that very second because between his mom, Reiju and now Uta he has only had good experiences with girls. He does feel kind of left out at first remembering everything that happened with the Vinsmokes, but Uta always tries to include him in every little thing!

She really likes teasing him and Sabo, though. Uta might adore Sanji but that doesn't mean she isn't a little bit mean to him. It's obvious that they like like each other because, you know, they're kids. Look at them. It's obvious. Uta knows, Luffy knows, Ace knows... Sabo and Sanji spend so much time alone and Sabo always tries to be next to him and he looks at Sanji with like, literal heart eyes.

Uta: Do you like Sanji? Sabo: Sanji? No. No. No. Sanji's just a friend... Uta: Why are your eyes shaped like hearts? Sabo: Allergies...

Uta is an artist. A singer. She's 100% a hopeless romantic. I will die on this hill. So while Ace is extremely "ughhhh" *disgusted noises* by Sanji and Sabo's flirting and Luffy couldn't care less (he just likes teasing them because it's fun to see them panicking), Uta tries HARD to get them together. They're listening to her songs? She will sing a romantic one. They're alone? She will gently push one of them closer to the other. They eat spaghetti once and she goes all the way to try to do the thing where they eat the same one so they kiss. Etc etc etc. She won't stop being a little brat about it too, teasing both of them. And it's driving Sabo crazy. Makino asks Uta about the kids because she knows the girl is as invested as her in the relationship. Funniest thing in the world.

Now I can't stop thinking about them spearating when Sabo dies, following what we said etc etc etc And Uta becomes a famous singer. She doesn't kill anybody, okay? Let's leave it on her just- Doing a huge concert. Sanji and Sabo have already reunited but please, imagine these two not dating just yet. They're in love and pining but not dating. Everyone hates it. And then Sabo joins them for the concert, ofc, and when Uta sees them again (and sees Sabo is alive?? Because what the fuck why didn't they tell her???) one of the first thing she says is "Okay, okay... So you two are... You know?" and they don't understand what she's saying but literally all the crew is like "They're still pining. Please. It's awful". Girl makes it everyone's problem so she does this kiss cam thing to get them together finally. Like I said, good ending.

[gojoest]

I HATE GOJOHIME SO MUCH OMFG

The annoying ass shippers on twitter have multiplied since the q&a and they’re continuously bitching and forcing gojohime down everyone’s throats 😭

There is no romance between them!! But they will NEVER understand this. They keep using the “gojo likes older women” thing when he doesn’t?? His preferences were never mentioned. Geges troll answer has caused so much fucking drama and debate

Also gojo doesn’t like her, he just teases everyone cuz he’s like that. She also hates him it’s literally canon. They keep saying enemies to lovers is their trope and its canon. It’s not??

SORRY FOR THE VENT 😓❤️

hiiii !! let me give you a hug first to calm you down 🫂

you know i don’t ship them either, in fact i see absolutely no potential between them in canon but we’re all here to have fun and things don’t always make sense with fanon ships or they do but it’s very subjective. like i am sure some ppl side eye me for shipping sukugo and yeah it makes absolutely zero sense tbh 💀 but EYE like it, it makes sense to me and i find it hot and i go crazy when i insert myself in that ship too

simply avoid things that trigger and agitate you like that, it’s literally not worth it dwelling on what gojohime shippers say to make their ship look more canon compared to other ships — it’s literally NOT and won’t be by the looks of it bc the honored one is long gone (man it hurts to say this 💀 i won’t do it again, i promise i just wanna make a point) and i don’t think gege will waste time on a flashback to show us possible but failed or unfulfilled romance between them bc : 1) that just makes no sense in the light of the manga’s progress and the themes it generally revolves around, and romance is not one of them let me tell you that. it’s close to 0, we’ve only seen bits and pieces with toji + mamaguro & miwa + mechamaru, ANYWAY

2) we’ve already seen the past arc and judging by their interactions there was no romantic attraction between them

i’ve already said what i think about gege’s troll answer about sugar baby gojo so i won’t repeat myself BUT the funniest thing is how ppl, children i suppose, consider utahime an older woman. gojo & utahime are 2 years apart. she is in her early 30s how is that old 💀 like if older women were gojo’s preference — which was never confirmed — she’d be instantly OUT, no chance

anyway, i think i got a bit irritated too im sorry kdkekj

one last thing tho, i don’t think utahime really hates gojo. i mean it’s obvious she cannot stand him which is why he keeps fueling her irritation but that doesn’t equal hatred. i think deep down she holds no grudge or ill feelings towards him and i don’t need it spelled out to me yk, i can read and draw my own conclusions — which is why i don’t think that “hate” in the relationship chart was in the sense of actual animosity. there are a lot of ppl that annoy the hell out of me but i don’t hate them, it’s just i don’t click and vibe with them and that’s the essence of their dynamic too, it’s one-sided irritation with gojo being very much chill about getting on her nerves

i’ll shut up now 🫡

[mulderscully]

tenrose u will always be famous

rewatching rtd-dw now after pushing it away for so long is so nice because i am seeing it with new eyes in a way. i see so many things now that i didn’t as a teenager. i think i understood the basics of why ten and rose’s arc worked so well, but not the deeper narrative technicalites of it.

what i loved about ten is that his era really is about the beauty of what it is to be human, to be ordinary. i think davies’ choosing to destroy gallifrey was an incredible choice, it gave the show a new start in every way and it was a restart for the doctor - within and without the show. under the cut bc this got long.

first of, it’s absolutely PIVOTAL to meet him to understand the tenth doctor, if you skip nine you will never understand ten. ten is who he is directly because of who he was as nine.

nine had lost everything, he was alone, he was angry and in pain. he had a warmth to him, always, but he was closed off. he meets rose and she becomes the first person he has. he has no one til then, he was alone. 

and rose is so fucking ORDINARY. and it’s beautiful. she’s funny, she loves life, she has a big smile. she has a family she loves and is devoted to. she’s so, so, so beautifully human. she’s selfish, she’s emotional and unfair. and it’s beautiful because she’s imperfect. 

nine doesn’t do families, he doesn’t do humanity. but as the first season go on we slowly see him letting that stuff in bit by bit until we get to “street corner. two in the morning. i’ve never had a life like that.” we see him start to open up to hope and love, in it’s many forms. when rose is dying he kisses her to save her. he literally does this knowing it will kill him. he dies to save her, because he loves her. because he has grown to love and forgive HIMSELF. “you were fantastic, absolutely fantastic. and you know what? so was i.” his last words as nine are him professing his love to rose and to himself.

when he’s born again as ten, he is born out of these two things. loving rose, loving humanity. you can immediately see the shift in him when he regenerates. he has a big smile, he’s HAPPY, he has hope. he willingly spends christmas at the dinner table with rose and her family. 

this is the catch: to understand the tenth doctor’s ending and to understand tentoo, you have to understand that ten was born actively wanting to be human. and you have to understand that what makes rose who she is is that she is human.

first episode that really got me on this rewatch was school reunion. when rose asks if he’s gonna leave her behind. the CONVICTION that he says, “no, not to you.” is so jarring. the way dt and billie played this scene is phenomenal. rose can’t fully grasp how he’s going to have to watch her die someday and the doctor can’t deny that living on alone is a curse. 

when you move farther into the season and as their relationship become more intense you see that as loyal as the doctor is to rose, she is just as loyal to him. but there is an inherent issue with this. he is not human. she CANNOT be as loyal to him as he is to her. she cannot stay with him forever. she will die. sure, they could’ve made her immortal or whatever - but that would defeat the beauty of who and what she is, and what the doctor loves about her.  

and i think rose loves being human. i actually worried i had read their relationship wrong, maybe she SHOULD have gotten to be immortal and travel forever but i still think that she doesn’t need that. she doesn’t even want that. it’s the moment in the impossible planet for me, how much the idea of being stranded on a planet with the doctor EXCITES HER. how she lights up thinking about having to get jobs and a mortgage and house with him. you can literally feel her heart racing watching it. and you can feel in that moment, he wants it too. he doesn’t think he can ever have it, but you see he wants it. 

i audibly gasped when jackie asked rose if she would ever settle down and rose says “the doctor never will so i can’t. i’ll just keep traveling.” because it’s so obvious that while she loves to travel it’s not even about that anymore. it’s about him. about loving him, wanting to be there for him. and while this is so beautiful: it’s unhealthy and unfair. to her AND the doctor. deep down, they are hurting each other because of the impossibility of their relationship.

now, we all know what happens here. they get torn apart. almost as if the universe didn’t want them to be together. as if... it were almost a kindness. but even then he says, “here you are. living a life day after day. the one adventure i can never have.” with the most longing i could ever fathom.

but even in their long separation, they are always so deeply tied. you almost feel rose’s presence the MOST during her absence. he miss her so much, and you can see him hanging onto the hope and humanity she gave to him because they are so deeply entwined together. but he does it. and while i have issues with the episode, seeing ten become john smith in human nature is so.. there is just so much to unpack about it.

first of all the way he chooses to do this in the first place. second off, the way he cannot stop dreaming of rose despite essentially becoming a different man. the way him being human and rose are tied, once again. ok literally who CARES about joan. joan is a stand in for rose.

“that's all i want to be. john smith, with his life... and his job... and his love.”

DEEP DOWN, THIS IS HOW THE TENTH DOCTOR FEELS. HE FEELS IT SO DEEPLY THAT HE CANNOT LOCK IT AWAY. AND IT DIDN’T OCCUR TO HIM TO FALL IN LOVE BECAUSE HE LOVES ROSE SO MUCH.

this all culminates to the fact that they would both bend reality to be together. she would cross dimensions and he would stop himself from regenerating for her. and in doing so, during this act of love, he accidentally creates another version of himself. he literally SPLITS IN TWO FOR HER. this is what i think i was always trying to articulate but couldn’t when i was ohtentoo. 

tentoo isn’t a clone, because implying so negates the impact of what the doctor did. he did not clone himself in a lab. it was not synthetic. he poured his own energy into his own body (part) and split into two people so one of them could be with her but who are both GENUINELY him.

and this is bittersweet. because on one hand: what we all celebrate! the tenth doctor gets to be human like he always wanted to be. the tenth doctor gets to be with the woman he loves. the tenth doctor will never regenerate. he is like he said in his first episode: a LUCKY man.

yet... ten is also the doctor. they’re both him, so ten is essentially living in two timelines after rose and tentoo kiss. there is one branched off and closed ending where they kiss and live happily ever after. and this is REAL and true to their relationship AND IT MAKES COMPLETE SENSE. he loves rose so much that he found a way to be with her forever. instead of changing her into something that would destroy what he loves about her, he becomes like her because he always WAS like her.

rose asking them to say “i love you.” is such a moment of... it’s powerful because it’s her finally understanding that as true as it may be that he loves her, the doctor would never be with her like she needs in real time because he wouldn’t be able to bear watching her die if he gave himself to her fully. 

she knows what he was going to say, but she needs to hear it. they could travel forever but they’d never be TOGETHER. tentoo is a doctor who is free of that burden so of course he says it and of course she kisses him. her choosing a part-human doctor is her choosing the truest and freest version of ten that there is. her choosing tentoo is her choosing herself too. that’s why it’s important to respect that decision. 

but there is this other timeline where the universe remains cruel, where he loses her again and loses her knowing that somewhere else he does have her. and i think that as much pain as he is in, knowing that he and rose are happy somewhere does keep him going in a way- but it also drives him to madness. he NEEDS her, more than ever after losing martha and donna too. he is the loneliest he has ever been, the most broken he has ever been, but he still doesn’t want to change. he wants to hold on because changing means losing his last ties to rose. 

in the end, ten was so human that he saw regenerating as dying. that’s why the ending to his arc and the way eleven feels like a different show manages to work. the way that i have always seen it is when ten regenerates that version of him genuinely does die in a sense. when he becomes eleven, he’s so detached of all the loses he has just experienced because ten is dead. sure, he remembers! but does he FEEL it as much? no, i truly do not think so. i think that ten continues to live on as tentoo, so ten literally is actively now a separate doctor who got to have a separate life.

he got to spend his life with rose. he got to have a life day to day. he got to have that adventure. he got to be human. and rose didn’t have to change or become anything else than the beautiful and messy human that he fell in love with for that to happen. she did stay with him forever, he just changed his forever for her.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

ash beloved, as a prince of woe and misfortune (a fibromyalgia haver) can i request some jameson on a bad pain day

the current vibe is 'i need to pee but my legs are fucking screaming and i havent even moved them yet and my shoes feel too tight because all my peripheral joints are getting inflamed' and i feel Terrible bc i used to be able to just ,, do stuff and now i cannot because of the evil 'You Have Pain And Doctors Don't Know Why' Disorder™

i am not sure whether i want to revel in shared misery or schadenfreude but i am sure i want to see a guy in pain

Anon, my gift to you and my sympathies for your Whole Body:

CW: Chronic pain, self-harm (brief, self-hitting), self-loathing, aftermath of whump, recovering whumpee

-

"You pushed yourself too hard, that's all." Nat tries for soothing, but when she puts a hand out to touch his shoulder, Jameson shoots her a furious glare and she carefully shifts it back again. "Right. Okay. You have to take things slow, honey, your legs-"

"-are goddamn fucking useless, yeah, I get it. I got it." Jameson's rasping voice is thinned to little more than a whisper as he hunches over himself, sitting sideways on the couch with his legs out on the cushions bent at the knees, refusing to straighten. He slams a fist down on his thigh just to feel a bloom of new pain that's is brighter and new compared to the eternal goddamn throbbing of the old. It's... nice. He tries it again on the other side.

Jesus, how fucked up is this? That this is what helps?

"Hey, hey now," Nat says, and before he can do it again she takes his wrist in her cool hands and holds his arm steady. "Not your best idea. I didn't call any part of you useless, that isn't what I said, honey."

"I wanted to walk to the goddamn gas station." Jameson glares at her hands, but he holds still under her deft, gentle touch. He doesn't pull away, or hit anything, he just... sits here, his knees shifting and muscles twitching in a pointless attempt to escape what's inside of them, what's as much a part of him as his own breath in his lungs now. "It's less than two miles. Less than two! I used to-... to run, on the treadmills in training, for fucking five miles, ten miles, no fucking sweat. My handlers told me I had a record for going so fast. I could run for fucking days on end, if I had to! Now..."

He groans, dropping back against the arm of the couch, even angrier when hot tears burn against his eyelids, trying to force their way out.

"Jameson-"

"Now... I can't even fucking walk."

"You do have the crutches, and the chair you can use, I know the sidewalk runs all the way past the gas station-"

"I wanted to fucking walk, Nat! I felt really good this morning! This shit didn't start up until I was putting on my fucking clothes! I shouldn't have fucking needed the goddamn fucking crutches or the stupid fucking chair!"

He grabs almost sightlessly for the crutch leaning against the couch, has it in his hand, and pulls his arm back to throw it.

"I hate this fucking shit!"

Nat's hand closes back around his wrist, and this time her grip is like iron, and Jameson feels his rage wither when he meets her steady hazel eyes.

"Jameson. You are not going to throw that."

Nat rarely uses this voice. Not with him. But now she does, firm and even stern, brooking no appeal. If she wasn't Nat, that voice would be an impossible turn-on. He'd be on his knees, not that he could do that without screaming any longer. He'd be begging her for... anything.

If she was Nanda...

No one's ever going to be Nanda. Not ever again. He pushes down the sharp, if finally slightly faded, spike of pain.

Nat refuses to let him look away this time. "Listen to me. That crutch is a tool, not a weapon. It was a gift, and it is a gift for you. It lets you go places you could not go before. Just like the chair. So if you break it, it's broken, and you lose that tool. Please, honey, don't cost yourself something that helps by getting angry at it for being needed."

"I didn't need it, before," He whispers, and she takes the crutch away from him, laying it down on the floor. He lets her do it. "Even when I was on the run. I didn't need this shit until I started getting better, and it feels like I'm just getting worse."

She nods, and holds his hands in her own. The ache in his fingers fades a little when they warm to each other. "Your body is incredible," She says, voice low. When he scoffs, she shakes her head, smiling. "Come on, let me finish. You survived two people who tried to kill you."

"Technically five people have tried to kill me."

"Five?" Nat looks, briefly, so baffled that Jameson nearly laughs. "You've only mention the two-"

"Those were the two where I killed them first," He says, voice low. "I don't even feel bad about it."

"I know. And I'm not asking you to feel bad. I've done some things in my life I'm not proud of, too, but it kept this safehouse together and I don't regret it for a second."

"What... what did you do?"

"We're not talking about me. I'm saying that you lived when other people died. You have survived more than any other runaway I've ever met. Your body carried you through it. It kept you alive. It kept you moving, kept carrying your weight when it wanted to give out because you hadn't given up fighting. Now, it doesn't have to carry you so far anymore. Your body knows you're safe, that you have people here who care about you, so it's hurting like hell because it hasn't allowed itself to hurt as much as it needed to for a long, long time. Your body carried every bad thing that ever happened to you, and I for one am grateful for it, because it got you here to us. Look at you."

Jameson shifts, trying to move his legs so he can face her. They protest with a scream that he has to grind his teeth against, but he manages to get both feet flat on the floor. "Look at me?"

"Yeah. Look at you. You're alive, honey." She smiles, hands on either side of his face, and he finds himself - reluctantly - smiling back. "You're alive and you wake up every day and sometimes the days are good, and sometimes they're not-"

"Like today. Today sucks."

She laughs, short and soft, and he loves her so much it is physically painful, the way that you love a mother, or a sister. "Yeah, okay. I'll give you that. But today is just one day, and you've got more comin'. Maybe tomorrow you can walk to the store, or maybe you'll need the crutches or the chair, but you know what? You'll still get there, if you want to, because you are the most stubborn son of a gun on earth and if you want those awful taquitos, I know you'll find a way."

Jameson's smile shifts. Incredulous, he asks, "Did... you just say 'son of a gun'?"

"Oh, shut up. I grew up in a family where that was just about the worst thing any of us could say without serious punishment. Sometimes that stuff still comes out." She pokes him in the nose, watching him wrinkle it in response.

There's a pause.

Then he clears his throat.

"It wasn't, uh, it wasn't taquitos." He discovers he's mumbling, flushing a little.

"Oh. Doughnuts, then?"

"No, not those, either, just... it's stupid. But Vince, uh, the other day he made this stupid fucking joke about Red Bull, so..."

"So..." She blinks, eyebrows furrowing. "You were... going to buy him a Red Bull?"

"I was... gonna buy about fifty and put them in his bed."

Nat just stares at him, blinking, as seconds stretch slowly out. "You were... you were going to-"

"Buy like... fifty Red Bulls and put them in his bed, uh, cover them in his fucking blankets and like arrange them like a person, and then... you know... It, uh, makes better sense in context."

"How could it possibly? You know what, doesn't matter. Here's what we'll do. You get those crutches on your arms, and i'll drive you to the gas station, and we will... we will get you your... fifteen Red Bulls."

"Fifty."

"Oh, my God. Where do you even get that much money?"

"... Vince gave me money."

"You're using his own money to prank him?"

"It's not like he fucking needs it!"

"You know what? I'm going to stop asking questions when the answers only give me new questions to ask." She pats his arm, and he takes the opportunity to brusquely throw an arm around her and crush her tightly to him in a hug. "Jameson-"

"Thanks," He mutters, then pushes her back and away so he can clumsily get on his feet. His knees nearly buckle, but when he throws his hand out Nat is holding the crutch, and he slots his arm into the cuff that fits just below his elbow. Nat has to hand him the other one, and help him with his shoes, and the whole time his legs ache like someone is slowly sawing them off with a nail file, but he stays standing.

He wants to play this stupid fucking prank on Vincent fucking Shield, and he can already tell it's the only thing he'll be able to do today and even that's only with Nat's help.

By the time they get back from one single errand he'll need more painkillers and a nap just to recover enough to finish putting the energy drinks into Vince's bed. Then maybe another nap after that.

But it's what he wants to do.

Fuck it.

If he only gets one thing to work on this shitty day, it might as well be the most bafflingly confusing thing he's ever done.

Plus, Nat always plays Jameson's playlist when she drives him in her car. So that's one good thing.

-

[hirazuki]

Hi! Re: the WIP folder game, please could you share more about...

Fate/Postscript

lemon balm and salvia, blue, mairon & maedhros

tsukuyomi (curious about this one bc i've also got a scene coming that mentions tsukuyomi-no-mikoto skdjas)

Hii!!

Fate/Postscript is a Fate series (TYPE-MOON) fic that follows the universe of Fate/Zero and Fate/Stay Night, and veers a little into the El-Melloi II Case Files territory. Not sure how familiar you are with this franchise (always happy to give you more details!), this is basically an OC/Sasaki Kojirō | Assassin story, because my favorite character from this franchise is, once again, a minor side-character with precious few fics to his name and needs some love nevermind that this has been languishing in my drafts since like. 2017, let's ignore that

“At any rate,” he said after a few moments, “I really do recommend that you keep your visiting hours with me late at night.” She looked over her shoulder at him, confused. He pointed to the crowds of people walking up and down the stairs. “It does not do for a young woman to appear to be talking to herself.” She cackled, loudly. “Why should I care what people think? I’m not even from around here. And besides,” she continued, after a few more swings with the sword, “some of us actually sleep at night.” “A pity,” he said, closing one eye. “When there are other things you could be engaging in.”  She spun around again, attempting to take a swing at him. Before she even knew he had moved, Kojirō leapt up, drew his sword and, flicking the tip under her sword’s edge, cleanly disarmed her. Her blade went flying vertically in the air, and he caught it easily. He flipped the edge towards himself, and held it out for her to take. “Come now, allow a man a little harmless flirting.” She snorted, amused, as she took back her sword from his outstretched hand. “There is nothing harmless about you.” “Maybe so,” he conceded as he sat back down. “But I am bored, and you are the only one I converse with.”

lemon balm and salvia, blue, mairon & maedhros ... ahaha *hides face in shame* This is a tumblr writing prompt that @celebbun sent me... over a year ago... *weeps* T_T

First Age, 465 He's bleeding out. How will he go back to Angband, in such a state and with such news? Himring... Himring is not far. Closer than Angband. Perhaps... perhaps he could -- He shakes his head free of the delusion a moment later. He cannot. Even were Fëanor's eldest inclined to humor his plea after everything, his own loyalty and sense of duty will not allow him. He curls up tighter, further into the dark tree hollow, and closes his eyes and falls into fitful sleep, to thoughts of red hair and white fire.

Tsukuyomi is a Naruto fic! (this probably won't be its final title). Again, not sure how much you know about this series, but basically at one point, almost all characters are put under a virtually unbreakable illusion (the name of this technique is Infinite Tsukuyomi, hence the name of the WIP) where they are trapped in their own dreams, and they experience their perfect world as though it was their reality. We get to see a good number of these dreams, and they give us a really neat window into the supporting cast, for instance, with whom we don't necessarily spend too much time with in the main story, getting to see their hopes/fears/what makes them tick, etc. We don't see everyone's obviously, and Orochimaru's (one of my faves) tsukuyomi dream is skipped over, so this would be my take on what his ideal world would look like. I've got some ideas jotted down as to what it would include, but don't have anything actually written down yet ^^

[arlo-venn]

An abridged rundown of what’s been happening at home:

Tyrell is highly codependent and I am highly independent. For the few years I’ve lived here I’ve been very sick and in survival mode and had lost the majority of my friends when I became homeless, so I was around a lot for a long time. I got my gallbladder out, and am now less sick— I reconnected with a few old friends (not ones that left during homelessness) and started getting out and socializing more again. That’s when this all started. I was spending too much time with my friend Ellil, dropping things when she needs help and going to her (I will not be shamed for this), etc. She feels like I abandon her but we literally live together and do everything together so how am I supposed to leave the house at all without “abandoning” her??

Then, I met a girl and now she’s my girlfriend. Things really ramped up then. It was scaring me— I told her I needed to prioritize exploring this relationship and rebuilding my friendships and getting back out into society. I asked for space. I kindly and gently told her she was scaring me, reminded her that I have related traumas from previous abusive relationships and informed her that the way she was behaving around this stuff was pushing big trigger buttons. It didn’t stop. She guilts the hell out of me any time I leave the house. When I’m hanging out with her I can’t even get up to use the bathroom or go to the kitchen without her being like WHERE ARE YOU GOING!? and if I need to go lay down bc I am obviously very chronically ill, I’m guilted for that too. She has called me a bad friend and a shitty friend. She says I said that about myself and she is just agreeing. I did not say that about myself. I don’t think taking care of myself and prioritizing myself makes me a bad friend. I don’t think needing space makes me a bad friend. I don’t think me wanting time to explore a new relationship and spend time with people that I love outside of the house makes me a bad friend. I invite her all the time. She doesn’t want to come.

Then, I won my disability case, and everything ramped up to 100. I think she’s scared of me not Needing her anymore, of me acquiring the ability to leave here, when the money comes. She’s convinced herself that I’m obsessed with my gf. I’m not. I’ve talked to all of my other close friends about that to get their input, and not a single one of them shares that opinion. She just feels like I am bc it hurts her every time I mention her.

The more intense this gets, the more distant I become. The more distant I become, the more intense it gets. But on top of it all I cannot stop accepting financial help from her bc I don’t have the option to yet. And she never for even a second takes a moment to consider the power imbalance in this relationship or how that might affect the discussions around this.

I told her that her interpretation of my feelings around my gf were incorrect, and she told me I was gaslighting her bc she’s “witnessed it.” Thomasine said something about how I don’t let them know when I’m going to be leaving the house or coming back or how long I’ll be gone and that really freaked me out. I’m a 30 year old adult woman person. I am not the romantic partner of these people. They are my friends. I don’t have to report my comings and goings to them. I won’t do it. We literally have life360. I couldn’t even if I wanted to, I don’t make plans in advance I play my days by ear— it’s all very spontaneous bc I can’t predict what’s going to be going on with my body, you know? And all my friends operate that way, too. I’m not doing anything wrong.

I’m scared. I can’t continue the conversation because I don’t have anything to say that she’s going to want to hear which is what makes her communication turn toxic and immensely triggering for me. I’m not just gonna be like “you’re right I suck I will spend more time at home with you and I will like my girlfriend less for your comfort” and anything short of that is going to be unsatisfying to her. It was so bad yesterday that I fled with Arlo. I had to come back. I have to be here for now. But I need to leave. This is not healthy and I’m scared.

[theworldoffostering]

I am beside myself. We are back in the national parks and spent today at one of the lakes. DH’s friends from ID came over and we did a picnic lunch with them. It was a really nice day. We then got ice cream and headed back to our campsite to get dinner made.

People were cranky from being in the sun all day and probably travel and being hungry. I was talking to my mom about my dad, and texting with my cousin (her grandma is in the hospital on hospice apparently) and taking each of the little kids for a walk around the loop to try to create some separation and space for everyone.

DS and Ms. 6 were doing nothing to help. Ms. 6 stayed in the tent most of the day bc she's mad and wants to go home. I asked the teens to take a walk. They did and when they came back we were almost ready to eat. Ms. 6 said she wasn't eating and again stated she wanted to go home.

Two minutes later she took off running and took DS with her. I had to report them missing to a park ranger and they put out a BOLO.

Within one minute of the BOLO going out, they were found but then Ms. 6 asserted to the ranger once again that I am abusing her! And then she told the ranger I was abusing DS! And DS went along with it. Didn't deny it.

The ranger that found the kids was one of the ones that helped us last year when we had this scenario and she was so mad at me--basically yelled at me saying that I was now back for the second summer and I had TWO kids accusing me of abuse. So it once again turned into a whole thing.

They wanted me to have proof that I wasn't abusing the kids. Thankfully, I managed to get DS's therapist on the phone at 9pm and one of the people that is in our home doing life skills weekly with the kids. Ms. 6 instructed DS not to speak to his therapist. Ms. 6's therapist never picked up.

Ms. 6 was aggressive even with park rangers present and the police said they could arrest her based on her actions (attempted assault on me in front of them and resisting an officer) but they didn't want to bc she would then be released in town and have nowhere to go. They also considered a 72 hour hold but it would have also resulted in her being released in town with nowhere to go (we are supposed to leave this morning for home). So they basically spent three hours de escalating while I cried my eyes out and tried to not go into shock (my entire body was shaking due to the adrenaline). Then a ranger drove them back to our campsite and dropped them off where H and E were crying hysterically from the stress and saying they didn't feel safe with Ms. 6.

I am beyond sad this happened AGAIN and things have been absolutely fine--smooth even with Ms. 6 on this trip but something was bothering her this morning. I asked her about it. She had a lot of attitude but I just let that roll off. I asked her what she needed. Provided suggestions and eventually asked her if she wanted a nap. She said she did so that's what she did. Before she laid down, I asked her if I could give her a hug and she said yes so I did and felt like we were okay.

Ms. 6 snap chatted with her biological family the entire time the police were managing the situation. Clearly not taking anything too seriously.

I then spent another two hours in the tent with them while they smugly giggled about how great they are. I cried again. Talked to them. Tried to explain why this was not okay. Tried to explain what could be done differently. Said I was glad they were not in jail or the hospital. Radio silence.

I stayed n the van with H and E while DH slept in the tent with the other four.

I'm exhausted. I'm so sad. Idk what to do. I'm not sure how we will make the 20 hour drive home tomorrow. I cannot ever travel with Ms. 6 again. I know DS’s therapist wants DS separated from Ms. 6 but Ms. 6 is being super manipulative. Do I tell her she cannot live at home any more? How do I create felt safety for everyone when she continues to do this?

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

My personal “screaming about the lack of Ladynoir in the finale” post TM

Don’t know how to preface this???

this isn’t hate for the finale,

this is more, me reveling in the Angst of what they Chose Not To Put and screaming and wailing about how ladynoir has me in a chokehold

Im coming to terms with the s5 finale and finding bits of hope for my Ladynoir heart, etc. And i have decided that the finale has a ton of very very cool potential.

But i still can’t stop imagining… what if Adrien had gotten the messages from Ladybug??? What if he was About to give up being Chat Noir and give in to hopelessness and nightmares and terror and the cage he was trapped in and THEN (probably via Plagg, they could make it work) he got the frantic terrified messages from ladybug that were like “hi where ARE you?!?!?! Kitty cat come in NOW i NEED YOU!!?!? Hawkmoth knows my identity i think i am going to die i am all alone please please please show up i need you pick up pick UP.”

What if he was like. “Oh.” And his world just. Shifted. He thought his worst fear was ending the world as chat or being trapped even further by transforming in front of his father and being Caught but now Neither of those matter… now the only fear is just… not being Enough for ladybug… the fear of losing her or letting her down or making her feel as alone and abandoned and hopeless as he does right now????

What if he just????? Transformed without a moment of hesitation??? What if he was there taking to her on the phone coaching her through breathing and telling her he promised she would be okay and he promised he would be proud of her no matter what happened???? What if his own nightmares and fears started slipping through on the call and SHE turned around and reassured HIM that she trusts him fully and if he can’t trust himself he can at least trust HER judgement????? What if they both managed to avoid the mind control by being Each Others’ alliance?????

What if Ladybug found out that Chat Noir was in London ,,, because if Her identity’s been revealed to Monarch and she’s In His House than it’s Already going to hell and secrets don’t matter anymore, it just matters that they trust each other??? All they ever WANTED was to be open and trust and now its all they have left??? And theres not identity reveal or speculation bc it doesnt MATTER right now it just matters to SURVIVE or at LEAST be together for the end.

What if she told him not to come to Paris because it’s too dangerous to be in the same spot and he was like “im so sorry but i Cannot do that i cant leave you there Alone” and she was like “i know. and i love you. And id do the same. And that’s also why i cant tell you who monarch is or where the house is because i KNOW you’ll come here and i cant stop you. We cant both be in his grasp i just need you on the phone”

What if she fought in the basement for her life while getting support from him whilst he rallied all the other heroes and the resistance across the surface of paris???? What if we had ladybug and chat noir fighting the same battle on two different fronts, both Very Aware of each others’ situation nonstop,,, working as a Team despite the distance????? What if chat was just nonstop doing everything he could to reassure ladybug that they were doing okay and everyone supported her and he Trusted Her to do anything because the nightmares were STILL debilitating for everyone including them and they couldnt afford for either of them to get akumatized or even DISTRACTED and they just told puns and reminded each other when to use their powers and when to breathe?????

And chat could be captured or whatever and have to call out to ladybug and she could be like “send me your kwami its okay you did so good, i’ll be okay ill see you again”

Bug noire could still happen but it would be a strategic choice BOTH of them made TOGETHER with pain and love mixed together rather than the result of major decisions that they both were forced to make Independantly with no communication only fear and guilt and lonliness???

I dont know how to explain this but this is not salt this is not hate towards the episode this is just,,,, UGH this show has made me SO INVESTED in the dynamics and they had a CHANCE to do stuff and make it so fun and they DIDNT ,,,, they CHOSE to make it darker and grittier this time and i think it’s probably going in a cool direction,,, i think that ladybug and chat noir are gonna have some Fun (for me not for them) things to Discuss after this and some brand new abandonment issues combined with weird bits of Hope that Apparently they can survive on their own, all in a messy weird blurry pool of fears and relief and guilt and lonliness!!!!! And there’s so much to explore

But ALSO i miss my ladynoir goddammit i miss when it was the ladybug and chat noir show and i feel a little bit hollow seeing how ALONE!!! BOTH OF THEM were!!! this entire finale!!!!!!!!! Why are they ALONE those are my LADYNOIR they are PARTNERS do not SEPARATE THEM!!!! Stop doing PLOTS and HARD DECISIONS and IN CHARACTER MISTAKES to them and PLEASE just let them be perfect and together anyways aaaaaaaaa

(Bonus u can read the absolute essay i accidentally put in my tags for more scrambled thoughts)