#bc everyone keeps telling me how much they’re gonna miss me and how much they loved having me

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

People at work out here making me cry. Because I’ll miss them. Because they made me care about them. Gross

[javiscigarette]

Silent Night

Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: You’re home for the holidays and Joel isn't gonna let a drinking contest or a house full of people stop him.

Warnings: PWP ofc, established relationship, mentions of drinking/alcohol, having to keep quiet?, oral (f&m receiving), thigh grinding, creampie, breeding kink, come play, getting caught, I think that's all lmk if I missed anything

w/c: 6.6k

a/n: hiii everyone! I am in fact alive! I'm finally on break from school and this is just a lil something I wrote real quick bc I've been in the holiday spirit since before October even ended hehehe :) Anyway, thank u to the actual loml @undrthelights for beta reading and finding the perfect pics!! It's nice to be back! Please leave a comment letting me know if you liked it, support is what keeps writers going!! Love u all!!

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Your hips grind a little harder against his thigh, a soft sight falling from your lips as he licks and sucks at the spot under your ear that drives you absolutely wild. “I don't think I can be quiet” you whisper, gasping softly when his tongue swipes over your pulse.  "You can" he mumbles against the side of your neck, the vibrations of his voice and his warm breath against your skin sending burning hot sparks down your spine. “You can do whatever I ask, can’t you baby?”

You can hear them downstairs, muffled sounds of Joel and several other of your family members talking and laughing while they sip on the fancy whiskey that your dad was saving for the occasion. You opted out of it, quickly taking up the offer of the first hour or two of alone time you’ve had since you arrived at your parents house two days ago instead. You figured Joel could use the time too, talking with your dad and uncles and cousins about whatever men talk about when they’re doing whiskey tasting in the mancave of a basement. 

You managed to avoid getting roped into watching a shitty Hallmark Christmas movie with the rest of your family or helping them prep for the big dinner tomorrow. After successfully sneaking away to your old childhood bedroom that’s now redecorated as a simple guest room, you're left with nothing to do besides relax. First up was a long shower with the water so hot you nearly scalded your skin, and now you’re cozied up in bed, nose buried deep in the middle of your book while the rest of the house buzzed with muted background noise. 

Time passes without you noticing, too engrossed in your book to keep track, but eventually the bedroom door creaks open, pulling you back to reality. You’re about to tell off whoever is at the door for interrupting you, but you immediately soften when Joel slips inside, quietly closing the door behind him. 

He looks so sweet, wrapped up in a thick dark brown sweater, his curls flopping over his forehead, a light dusting of pink on his cheeks and the bridge of his nose with a lopsided smile. His eyes are soft, warm, and a bit glassy as he looks at you like you’re the best thing he ever did see.

"Think your dad is trying to kill me" he says, his words slurring just a bit as he crosses the room over to the bed.

You giggle, watching him plop down on the bed on his back, his head rolling over to look at you, "Are you surprised? He does this to you every year."

It's true, every holiday at your parents house, your dad insists on the whiskey "tasting", which is really just him pouring heavy handed shots and glasses and seeing who's going to be the last one to tap out. Usually it's just him and his brothers in the end, hashing out some decades old sibling rivalry in the form of a drinking contest. And ever since the first time you brought Joel home for the holiday five years ago, your father has insisted on dragging him down there and challenging him too.

The first year was the worst with Joel not heeding any of your warnings about how much liquor your dad would actually push on him. Joel was so sick by the end of the night that he made best friends with the toilet and passed out on the couch, then spent most of the next morning with a massive hangover, apologizing profusely to your dad about it who just laughed and said that he can try again next year.

Thankfully, Joel knows his limits now and has made peace with the fact that he'll never beat your dad at his own game. It doesn't mean that the challenge doesn't still stand.

"No" he mumbles, a dopey smile spreading across his face, "Guess I jus' never expect him to pour shots big enough to knock out a horse"

"How many did you have this time?" You ask, bookmarking your place in the book before setting it aside, sitting up a little straighter and adjusting the pillows behind your back.

"Jus' three."

"Oh, so you are  just a lightweight then?"

"I'm not a fuckin' lightweight" he grumbles with a dramatic pout. 

You laugh as you turn to lay on your side, propping yourself up on your elbow. Your hand instinctively falls to his hair, a small content sigh falling from his lips as your fingertips skate across his hairline and glide through his soft curls.  scooting closer to him and reaching down to run your fingers through his hair, "Okay, baby" you hum, smiling when his eyes fall shut as your nails gently scratch his scalp, "If you say so."

Joel melts under your touch, like a cat basking in the sun, a lazy little grin on his face and a dreamy, far off look in his eyes. His face is still flushed, the tips of his ears and the tops of his cheeks a rosy shade of pink, his lips slightly parted, a few more stray curls falling across his forehead. He looks absolutely gorgeous, and the soft, tender look in his eyes when he finally looks back up at you melts you from the inside out.

You cup the side of his face in your hand and ;ean in to press a lingering kiss to his forehead. "You're so cute when you're drunk" you murmur, moving kissing his cheek.

"M'not drunk"

You pull back to look him in the eye, smiling, "Sure you're not"

"I'm not" he whines, "M'just a lil' tipsy."

"Alright" you hum, pressing a quick kiss to his pouty lips.

Joel follows your mouth with the softest whine when you start to pull back, his large hand cupping the back of your head, holding you still while he kisses you, needy, but still so sweet. The taste of whiskey is heavy on his tongue as it slides against yours, a soft, satisfied noise rumbling in his chest when you part your lips further, kissing him deeper. 

When he finally lets you break the kiss, you're left just a little breathless and dazed, a giddy feeling swirling low in your belly. His pupils are blown when he looks up at you, his lips spit slick and plump, a lopsided smile on his face. He turns a little more on his side facing you, his fingers fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt until his hand slips easily underneath like it was meant to be there. The warmth of his palm smoothing up and down the curve of your spine is soothing, his fingers gently tracing over your ribs and the dip of your waist, the slight scratch of his calluses over your skin sending a shiver down your spine.

His eyes are half-lidded as he stares at your lips, licking his own. Realistically, you knew exactly what was going to happen as soon as he entered the bedroom. You know how he gets when he's like this, soft, sweet, and incredibly needy. With all the amount of times he tugged you into a bar bathroom after he's had a few, or when Tommy drops him off after a night out and he's already halfway to undressing you before the front door even shuts. You know he's trouble like this, but you can never deny him when he's looking at you like that, like you're the only thing he needs, the only thing he's ever needed.

He leans in to kiss you again, slow and sweet, his fingers splaying on your lower back and keeping you close. His mouth moves languidly against yours, the tip of his tongue tracing your bottle lip and his teeth sinking in the slightest bit to nip and tug, pulling a desperate little sound out from the back of your throat. 

He sighs at the small sound and starts to lean into you more, using his weight to roll you over until you're flat on your back with him hovering above you, his forearms on either side of your head with his knees bracketing your hips. The kisses grow hungrier, wetter, more insistent, his mouth moving against yours like he's trying to breathe the very air from your lungs. 

He shifts a bit and you moan softly into his mouth when his thigh slots between yours, the firm muscle of his thigh pushing right up against the apex of your thighs, the perfect amount of pressure to make heat spark and smolder in your belly. He does it again, rocking his thigh up against you just a little harder, swallowing the needy whimper that you let out, the heat and friction making you ache. 

You can’t help but grind against his thigh, the seam of your sweatpants pressing against the damp spot that’s already forming on your panties and digging into your clit just right. You’re chasing the growing pleasure, the firmness of his thigh and the intoxicating taste of whiskey on his soft lips mixed with the faint trace of his peppermint toothpaste. You’d give anything to have him, for him to take you, but the sounds of laughter and chatter coming from downstairs is a rude reminder of reality. 

"Joel" you warn with absolutely no heat in your voice, his lips grazing the sensitive spot under your ear, "We can't.”

He ignores you for a beat, crashing his lips back on yours and kissing you until he needs to come up for air. 

"We can" he says, his voice gravelly and thick with want, the deep rumble vibrating in his chest. "We're bein' real quiet"

His lips trail across the line of your jaw and up your cheek before landing on your mouth again. The slow, lazy drag of his tongue against yours makes you throb, another soft when escaping you and the muscles in your legs and stomach tightening as you make no effort to stop moving against his thigh. 

“Everyone will hear us” you try feebly, knowing it’s futile. 

Joel smirks against your lips, the bastard. “Nah. I’ll be quiet.” 

You know he's a damn liar and a bad one at that. In what world could you be quiet with his hands and mouth on you, with his thick cock buried deep inside you, stretching you out and filling you up so good that your toes curl? And in what world could he be quiet, not running his mouth about how good you feel, how pretty you look stuffed full of him, how well you take him. You know exactly how it'll go, if the numerous failed previous attempts are anything to go by.

But then his lips are on the side of your neck, and you're forgetting why it matters. You let your eyes fall shut as his lips press gentle, wet kisses up and down the column of your throat, the stubble on his cheeks and chin scratching and tickling in the best way. You're quickly forgetting why this was a bad idea to begin with.

Your hips grind a little harder against his thigh, a soft sight falling from your lips as he licks and sucks at the spot under your ear that drives you absolutely wild. “I don't think I can,” you whisper, gasping softly when his tongue swipes over your pulse point. 

"You can" he mumbles against the side of your neck, the vibrations of his voice and his warm breath against your skin sending burning hot sparks down your spine. “You can do whatever I ask, can’t you baby?” 

“I don’t- oh…” 

The rest of your sentence dies on the tip of your tongue as he pushes his thigh against you, grinding it up against your core in a way that has your head spinning and toes curling, the pleasure sharp and delicious as it melts into your veins. 

“That’s right” he murmurs, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of your mouth. “You’ll do whatever I say, huh?” 

There’s a pause and when you open your eyes, his are dark, his pupils blown wide, the deep brown nearly swallowed whole. His hair is tousled and curlier than ever, a few loose strands hanging in his face. His lips are slightly parted, swollen, red, and sick and shiny from your kisses. He’s an absolute sight and you can’t help but nod, eager to do whatever he wants, whatever he asks, because god it’s always worth it. 

His eyes crinkle a bit at the corners and the lopsided smirk on his face widens. He’s the fucking devil. 

Just the thought of him taking you with the rest of the house full of your extended family is making your veins buzz, excitement bubbling low in your belly. But you're well aware of just how thin the walls are and how nosy some members of your family are and you can't fathom how awkward it would be to come down for breakfast the next morning after the whole house heard you getting absolutely railed.

"It’ll be okay" he assures, reading your thoughts, his hands slipping under your shirt again. The fabric bunches up over his wrists as he slides his palms up your torso to cup your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your nipples. "M’not gonna let anyone else hear you. Just me."

Fuck.

His simple words are enough to convince you, not that you needed much convincing in the first place. He had you wrapped around his finger and him around yours, and there was no way you were going to say no to what you know will come next. A jolt of electricity shoots down your spine and settles hot and heavy in the pit of your stomach. Your resolve breaks, your legs falling open further, letting him get even closer, and Joel lets out a soft, happy noise against your mouth.

"Atta girl" he hums, his voice rough and deep, "So good for me, aren't ya baby?"

"Always" you manage to reply, the word more of a sigh as you arch your back, his thumb teasing your nipple until it's pebbled and hard.

He gives into you easily, tugging your shirt up and over your head. His mouth lands on your chest as soon as it’s exposed, immediately licking and kissing across your collarbones and the swell of your breast. He noses along the valley between them, the coarse hair of his beard tickling your skin and making you giggle. You can feel him grinning against your skin before he nips and sucks at the supple flesh until a red mark rises to the surface. 

You squirm beneath him, his leg still nestled perfectly between yours and pressing against you every time he shifts. The pressure is building in your gut, your clit aching and throbbing. The feeling is almost too much with his hot wet mouth now wrapped around your nipple, his tongue swirling around the stiff peak making it harder and harder for you to keep quiet. 

“Joel,” you hiss, the word half warning and half plea. 

“Hush, baby” he mumbles against your skin. His fingers replace his mouth, pinching and teasing your swollen, spit-slick nipple as he kisses across your chest to lavish your other nipple with the same attention. 

“Gotta be quiet, remember?” he says when he pulls back, releasing your nipple with a wet pop. “Unless you want everyone hearin’ ya” 

You open your mouth to say something in protest, to tell him that he’s making things a lot harder right now, but then he starts moving, sliding down the bed and the words die in your throat. The look he gives you as he settles on his stomach between your thighs is sinful, his eyes dark and mischievous, his lips pulled up into a smirk. 

He hooks his fingers in the waistband of your sweats, slowly pulling them along with your panties down your legs, leaving you completely bare. Your stomach swoops at the sight of his eyes trained to your center and your thighs twitch, wanting to snap shut and hide. But his hands on both of your thighs keep you spread open for him. You swallow thickly, your breath catching in your throat, the anticipation building in the pit of your belly as your slick starts to drip down the cleft of your ass. 

Joel’s mouth falls open slightly, a shaky breath escaping him. “Fuck, baby” he sighs, tongue darting out to lick his cherry red lips, his eyes glazing over. A small, content smile tugs at the corners of your mouth, a swell of pride blossoming in your chest. He looks wrecked, like a starving man eyeing his first meal, and the way he's looking at you so intently, like you're the best thing he's ever seen, the thing that's kept him alive all these years, is making your heart pound almost painfully in your chest. 

“Fucking gorgeous,” he praises, his hand running along the inside of your thigh. “And all mine.” 

Like he can’t wait another second, he’s leaning in and licking a long, wet stripe up your center, dragging his tongue through your folds from your leaking hole to your swollen, needy clit. The feeling of his tongue on you pulls a soft, broken sound from you. You clap your hand over your mouth as your head spins, a rush of pleasure washing over you making the muscles in your thighs and stomach twitch and flex. 

He does it again and again, and every time his tongue flicks over the swollen bud, you let out a soft whine that sounds far too loud in the otherwise quiet room.

He groans against you, his mouth already wet and messy as he laps at your pussy like he's starving for it, like he would die without tasting you. His eyes are locked on yours, the look in them so dark and primal that it makes your walls clench, more slick freely leaking out of you and onto his tongue. He laps it up happily, his fingers digging into your hips, holding you steady as his mouth works your clit.

He lets out a quiet, breathy moan when you slide your hand through his hair once again, your fingers tangling in and pulling on the soft brown strands. His eyes flutter shut, a shuddery exhale falling from his parted lips, and the feeling of his warm breath fanning over your wet, sensitive center has you stifling another high pitched whimper.

You roll your hips up against his face, desperate for more, and he gets the hint, the flat of his tongue swiping up through your folds a few more times before he dips it into your entrance, pushing in and out while his nose nudges at your clit. You're writhing beneath him, tugging at his hair, trying so hard to be quiet but failing miserably, soft, desperate little noises pouring out of your mouth. You know he's loving it too, making no effort to keep your noises at bay, not giving a single fuck about who might hear.

He moans against your cunt, the vibrations making you jolt, your hips rolling up to meet him. You're panting, the hand that isn't buried in his hair gripping the sheets tight enough that your knuckles turn white, and your back arches when his tongue fucks in and out of you faster, rougher.

"Joel, fuck" you gasp, "I- I'm-

He growls, the sound muffled by your pussy, the vibrations and the feeling of his stubble dragging along your inner thighs making your toes curl, the familiar coil in your belly tightening, your thighs trembling.

He doubles down, bringing a hand between your legs to replace his tongue with two thick fingers sinking into you and curling up against that spot inside you that has you seeing stars, his tongue circling your clit while his fingers pump in and out of you, his mouth and hand working in tandem to pull you apart.

"Fuck, I'm close" you whimper, his fingers crooking against that spot inside of you, sending white hot fire coursing through your veins as your slick leaks down his fingers and into his palm like hot honey. 

He hums, sucking your clit between his lips, and your legs clamp around his head, your hand tightening in his hair as your orgasm crashes over you, your back arching off the mattress, a muffled, broken moan spilling out from behind your hand. He fucks you through it, his tongue flattening out against your clit while the tips of his fingers rub against that sweet spot inside of you, sending more sparks of pleasure tingling up and down your spine.

When it's too much, when the sensitivity makes tears prick in the corners of your eyes, you make a feeble attempt to push him away. He pulls back, sitting up on his knees, his chin and cheeks wet with your slick, his pupils blown so wide that the brown is almost completely swallowed up by black. He stares at you, his gaze so heavy and intense that it makes another shiver run down your spine.

"You're not being very quiet" he smirks as he moves off the bed to stand up.

You roll your eyes, still coming down from the aftershocks, your thighs quivering, "Yeah, no shit" you mutter, propping yourself up on your elbows.

He chuckles as he pulls off his sweater and the t-shirt underneath it before he starts unbuckling his belt and working on his jeans. You sit up, shuffling closer to the edge of the bed, reaching out and batting his hands away, taking over and quickly unfastening the button and pulling the zipper down.

He doesn't protest, letting you push his jeans and boxers down his legs until he kicks them all the way off. Your mouth waters at the sight of his thick, hard cock hanging heavy between his legs, flushed a deep red with slippery precum beading at the tip. You reach out, wrapping your hand around the base and taking a moment or two to revel in the familiar weight and warmth of him in your hand.

He shudders, a low moan rumbling in his chest, his eyes slipping shut as his hand moves to cup the back of your head. He watches you intently as you take your time, lazily stroking him, rubbing the pad of your thumb over the leaking tip and tracing the throbbing veins that run along the sides. His breathing grows heavy, his jaw clenching and his stomach muscles twitching as he tries so hard not to buck his hips up into the loose circle of your fist.

"C'mon, sweetheart" he pleads, the words leaving his mouth as a low, breathless groan, "Get me all nice and wet for you."

He doesn't have to ask twice. You lean forward and you dart your tongue out to lap up the bead of precum, humming at the salty, bitter taste of it, swirling the flat of your tongue over the head of his cock, your hand pumping the rest of his shaft. His breath catches in his throat, a stuttered curse falling from his lips when you dip your tongue into the slit, teasing more precum out.

He groans, his grip on the back of your head tightening, urging you to take him into the warm, wet heat of your mouth. You sink down, flattening your tongue and taking him all the way until he hits the back of your throat, the tip of his cock brushing against the roof of your mouth. You breathe through your nose, hollowing your cheeks, swallowing around him, and the deep, guttural groan that he lets out has you squirming, slick leaking out of your cunt and onto the sheets below.

"There ya go" he pants, his head lolling back, "Oh, baby, that's it. S'fuckin' perfect."

You pull off, a string of spit and precum connecting his cock to your bottom lip, and you look up at him through your lashes.

"Need to be quiet" you remind him, "Or else I'll stop"

He lets out a shaky breath and nods, swallowing hard, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. He's not used to keeping quiet, not used to not telling you how good you feel, not used to not begging you to let him cum in that low, raspy tone that never fails to make you weak.

"I'll be good," he whispers, breathless and needy. "Promise."

Your stomach swoops at his words, arousal burning bright in your belly. Unable to stay away for much longer, you lean forward, pressing a soft kiss to the head of his cock. His hips jerk, another drop of precum leaking out. You lick it up, swirling your tongue around the sensitive, swollen tip before sinking down again. You take him into the wet heat of your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and swallowing around him, bobbing your head slowly and steadily.

He bites his lip hard enough to draw blood trying with all his might to keep his noises in as you drool all over his cock. He can't take his eyes off you, watching the way he disappears into the slick heat of your mouth. You look so pretty with your lips wrapped around him, spit dripping down his cock and leaking out the corners of your mouth while your eyes water as you take him as far as you can.

You take him deeper, and you swallow, your throat convulsing around him, and the way his whole body shudders makes you smile, proud of the effect you have on him. He's so big and thick, and you both know you can't fit him all the way down your throat, but seeing you try your best is enough to make his thighs start to shake. 

His cock hits the back of your throat again and again, the tip dipping into the soft, warm, tight space, and Joel's breathing is getting heavier and faster, his jaw clenched and his eyebrows knitted together.

"Shit" he grits out under his breath, "That's it, sweetheart. That's fuckin' it."

The praise goes straight between your legs, a fresh wave of slick leaking out of you and it's too tempting to resist, so you slip your hand between your thighs and rub circles around your clit, moaning softly around his cock.

He hisses, his eyes snapping down, watching your hand disappear between your legs.

"Are you touchin' yourself?" he asks, the words coming out rough and choked, his eyebrows raised.

You nod, sliding a finger into yourself, and you pull off his cock, panting, a thin strand of spit connecting the head to your bottom lip.

"Can't help it" you whine pathetically, your voice already raspy from how far his cock had been down your throat.

Joel groans, his dick twitching, and he's had enough. He takes a step back, and you let go, a little confused and worried that you've done something wrong. But he just takes hold of your arms and yanks you off the bed, his strong hands easily manhandling you, and then he's pushing you, turning you around and bending you over the side of the mattress.

"Oh" you breathe out, bracing yourself on your forearms, arching your back, sticking your ass up in the air.

You don't have to wait long for him to move. His hand is smoothing over your ass, the other one guiding his cock towards your sopping cunt. He teases the tip between your folds, spreading your slick and dragging his head over your swollen clit a few times before lining himself up and sinking in.

You bite down on the inside of your cheek to keep quiet, letting out a stuttering breath, the familiar, delicious burn of his thick cock stretching you out making your eyes roll back into your head. You've made peace with the face that you'll never be used to his size. It'll always be too much, the feeling of him pushing into, forcing your walls to make room for him will always make you clench and shiver.

He's got his hands on your hips, holding you steady as he bottoms out, his hips flush with the curve of your ass with the tip of his cock pressed against your cervix. He holds himself there for a moment, both of you adjusting to the feeling, and you're trying so hard not to moan, to keep your noises muffled by the mattress, and you know Joel's struggling too, his jaw clenched tight and his brow furrowed.

"Good girl" he whispers, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your hips, "Taking my cock so well, aren't ya?"

You nod, whimpering, your fingers twisting in the sheets.

He pulls back and thrusts back in, setting a steady, slow rhythm, the wet slide of his cock making the most obscene sounds. And it's driving you crazy, the need to let out loud, your chest burning with the effort of keeping your noises in. He keeps his pace slow, not wanting to make more noise with his hips snapping against your ass. It’s nearly tortuous though, the drag of his cock in and out of you so slow that you can feel every ridge as he takes his sweet time. You can only handle it for a few moments before the tingling hints of pain from the stretch subside and the burning need for him to fuck you senseless takes over.

"Joel" you whine, "Faster, please."

He leans over you, his front pressed against your back, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. "You're not gonna stay quiet if I do," he says, his voice deep and gravelly, "Just take what I give you, sweetheart."

You're so worked up, the slow pace makes you even more desperate for him, and you can't help it, you need more, and you reach a hand back and grab his hip, urging him to speed up.

"I-I'll try" you promise, "Please, just- Just fuck me, Joel, please"

He hesitates, but the way you're squirming beneath him is so tempting, and the way his cock is throbbing and dripping inside of you is telling him that he needs more too.

Before you can say anything else, he's pulling back, the thick, heavy weight of him sliding out of you. You whimper at sudden empty feeling but you don't have time to complain before he's flipping you over onto your back and scooting you up the bed before climbing on top of you. You can’t help but notice how big he is, the muscles flexing smoothly in his strong arms that box you in as he hovers above you, nearly encompassing your entire body underneath his. His mouth is on yours before you can even blink, his tongue slipping past your lips and kissing you like his life depends on it.

He settles between your legs, his hips nestled in the cradle of your thighs, his cock dragging along your clit again warm and heavy, and you gasp, the sound swallowed by his mouth. You're squirming again, desperate to feel him stretch you out more and he takes mercy on you, reaching between your bodies and grabbing the base of his cock, guiding the thick head towards your entrance.

"Gotta be quiet, baby" he warns, his eyes boring into yours as he looks down at you. "Those pretty noises are just for me, yeah? Can't have anyone hearin' 'em."

You nod frantically and the next second he's pushing in, the fat head of his cock forcing its way into you and bottoming out in one smooth motion. You let out a gasp that's definitely too loud but Joel is quick to remedy it, his hand coming up to cover your mouth, his fingers splaying across your cheek.

"Shh" he shushes you, his hips rolling, the slow, lazy drag of his cock against your walls making you clench around him. Your eyes roll back, your back arching as his hand stops all the whiny little sounds you can't help but make. He continues to fuck you slow and deep, his cock sliding in and out of your soaking wet cunt, the filthy sounds of skin slapping against skin echoing softly in the room.

You can't take your eyes off him, watching his eyes squeeze shut, the muscles in his arms and shoulders flexing as he fucks you, his brows knitted together and his teeth sunk into his bottom lip. He looks beautiful like this, sweat glistening on his skin, his jaw tight, and his eyes shut tight, his mouth hanging open with his breaths coming out in soft, barely audible pants.

"Mmm" he hums, his hips picking up speed, his cock pushing impossibly deeper. "You feel so fuckin' good, baby. Fuck."

You reflexively clench around him and a shudder runs through his whole body.

"Gettin' real tight" he pants, "Tryna milk the cum right outta me, huh? Tryna make me fill up that pretty pussy?"

You whimper into his palm, your pussy fluttering, a fresh wave of slick coating his cock, and he groans, his hips picking up speed.

"S'what you want?" he asks in a hushed tone, his hand still pressed firmly over your mouth. "You want me to fill you up? Make a mess of that pretty pussy? Breed you until you're fuckin' stuffed, baby girl?"

Your back arches off the bed, the coil in your belly so tight that you think you might pass out. He's rambling, his thrusts losing rhythm, his breathing getting ragged and choppy, his chest heaving and his thighs shaking.

"That's it" he coaxes when you tighten around him even more, "Can feel it, can feel how close you are. Go on, baby, cum on my cock. Wanna feel that tight, wet cunt cum all over my cock, please, baby."

His hips snap forward, his cock pushing deep into you, the tip rubbing against the spongy spot deep inside you that makes the coil in your belly finally snap. Your eyes roll back, a muffled, broken moan falling from your lips as your entire body convulses, your orgasm washing over you and making your toes curl as your walls flutter around his cock buried to the hilt inside of you.

Joel lets out a deep, low groan, his hips stuttering as he fucks you through your orgasm. His hand slips away from your mouth so he can grip your hips with both hands, his fingers digging into the soft flesh, holding you in place so he can chase after his own release. His chest is tight as he holds in his grunts and groans, but it’s barely any use with the lewd noises that fill the room as your pussy gushes around him, your slick leaking past the tight seal of your walls around him and dripping down to his balls. 

"Oh, shit, baby. Christ,” he chokes out, his stomach muscles clenching as his hips slam into yours, his cock pushing impossibly deeper and harder. “Keep makin’ a mess, keep lettin’ me feel it. That’s it. Fuckin’ hell.” 

You can feel his cock starting to throb inside of you and you know he’s close. And you can’t stop the words from leaving your mouth, the need to let him know just how good he’s making you feel is destroying any bit of common sense. 

“Want you to fill me up,” you whine. “Please, Joel, wanna feel it.” 

That’s all it takes. His jaw clenches, his nose scrunching as his eyes squeeze shut. His cock twitches and pulses as he buries himself as deep as he can get before spilling into, filling you with thick, hot ropes of his cum. His hips jerking and stuttering d you clench around him, squeezing and milking him for everything he has while he buries his face in the crook of your neck, muffling his broken, ragged moans against your skin.

"So good,” he whimpers. “Fuckin’ perfect.” 

The praise goes straight between your legs and you wrap your arm around his shoulders, trying to pull him closer. He lifts his head, his palm resting on your cheek as he lifts his head and presses his lips against yours, kissing you languidly. His hips rock back and forth lazily, pushing his cum in as deep as he can get it. You melt into the bed underneath him, the only things keeping you tethered to the earth being your fingers combing through his hair and your legs tightening around his waist.

When he finally pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours, and you're both left panting, trying to catch your breath. You listen to the muffled sounds of people downstairs, the movie playing and their drunken voices filtering in through the door, and Joel must be thinking the same thing because he chuckles.

"Well" he says, his thumb rubbing back and forth over your cheekbone, "I don't think anyone heard us."

"You better hope they didn't" you retort, a grin on your face. Joel rolls his eyes. "That's a weird way to say thank you" he teases. You start to laugh, but the sound dies in your throat, morphing to a whimper instead when he starts pulling out his softening cock.

"Joel" you whine, but he doesn't stop. "Joel, please. It's-"

He's not listening, he's too focused on the way his cock looks when he pulls out. The tip slips out of you, and the rest follows, and his eyes widen as he watches a string of thick, sticky cum stretch from the tip of his cock to your cunt. It breaks, falling to your thigh, and he licks his lips. He can't tear his eyes away, watching the way your cunt flutters, and his cum starts to drip out, running down your slit, the obscene sight making Joel's spent cock twitch. 

"Shit" he mutters under his breath, "Ain't that a pretty picture."

He reaches down, dragging a finger through the mess of cum and slick and gathering it on his finger before pushing it back into your cunt. You clench around the digit before he sighs and pulls it back out.

"Gonna be leaking all day tomorrow" he murmurs, almost to himself.

You whimper, the thought of having him dripping out of you all day like that has renewed arousal already seeping into your veins. 

“It’s okay” he assures you, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll take care ya. Clean you up and put my cock back in right where it belongs, how’s that sound, hm?” 

You sigh, nodding, a wave of fatigue washing over you. “Sounds perfect,” you agree. 

You watch as he climbs off of you and starts to move, but a sudden, sharp sound of knuckles knocking on the other side of the bedroom door makes you both freeze. 

“You two are fucking disgusting!” the voice of your cousin calls out, accompanied by the sound of a couple other people giggling and laughing. “Put some goddamn clothes on and get down here!” 

You and Joel exchange glances, his eyes wide and apologetic, his cheeks burning bright red as you give him a look that says I told you so. 

“Alright, alright, we’re coming” he yells back. 

“We’re coming! Oh, yeah we’re coming!” another voice teases, the sound of everyone bursting out laughing quickly follows. 

“We’re never doing that again” Joel mutters and you can’t help but chuckle. 

“Yeah right. Keep telling yourself that”

Thank you for reading!!! Plsss let me know if you enjoyed hehehe

[azulsluver]

I just want to ramble a little bit but- My personal scenario/headcanon for Bully au (which by the way, I love your writing) is that maybe one day reader decides to disappear, even if for a little while, maybe they just hide in some place for a long period of time (or hilariously and sneakily find a way to avoid their bullies throughout an entire day, or even crazier a whole week!!). They're so emotionally destroyed that they start to actually believe their insults and awful treatment they endured, and so they decide to just isolate themselves further somewhere no one can "be burdened by me"- Which in turn causes everyone else to at first get pissed off and then more and more (slightly, very slightly) worried that their punching bag is missing.... Perhaps, even have escaped them? 👀 I would love to see who loses their composure first, even if they don't admit their obsession at all lmao

Anon you don’t know what you’re doing to me //0//

tw. Bully!characters, no one takes you seriously kinda, yandere, stalking, baby tantrums.

This was more crack than anything serious…idk what happened but rants bellow!

They genuinely start tweakin:

Riddle, Deuce, Kalim, Malleus, Jack, Silver, Ruggie, Idia, Vil

They’re the ones that usually have their eyes on you, to find out that you’re missing and not at a place they SPECIFICALLY told you to be/stay flares their attention. Sure they can last a couple of days without you but a week? Nuh uh, they think they’re responsible for whatever you do, once they find you you’re getting a whole lecture. Telling you they’d get in trouble if they hadn’t found you sooner but let’s be real here.

But if you hid in a place far far away from them (which is impressive and impossible tbh) they’re already having a meltdown. Biting fingernails, aggressively running their fingers through their hair. All of that, and the ones who usually stay composed in situations like these (Ruggie/Riddle/Malleus) start to overthink so bad that they look beyond stress. It’s the thought that maybe you ran away from them or worse got kidnapped or lost. Which makes them have more of a reason to keep a tighter leash on you.

Ok but Kalim, Idia and Deuce cry like babies and throw tantrums.

Let the imagination work so think of Vil sitting on the kitchen table with his hair tied up and a face mask on while wearing a robe, a cup of coffee in his hands as he stares off into the distance that looks like he’s about to stab someone. He deadass thinks he’s growing grey hairs and has eyebags because his favorite punching bag is missing after two weeks. Who is he gonna step on now..

Gets pissed off:

Leona, Ace, Azul, Sebek, Epel, Jamil

“But why?” Is what they said when they perfectly understand the problem. Do they feel bad? No. In fact people like Leona and Azul can go through days without you because they’re always busy with something rather than terrorizing you. BUT you have to understand that as much as they pretend to not care they aren’t willing to clean up the mess after your pity party.

Jamil and Sebek are only mad about you disappearing is because of Malleus and Kalim’s whining. Please save them.

Ace and Epel are the ones who are mega mad as in a corny way. “How dare my punching bag run away from me and disappear for days!!” Typa stuff. Unbeknownst to them they double the insults and it makes you even more depressed lmaoo.

Ehhh Jamil may actually panic as well, because when Kalim isn’t happy no one is. And he does misses you personally, worries when he finds you (which is really scary to [Name’s] pov bc why is he so caring??) he’s all over you to make sure you aren’t injured or anything. Still pissed so he might slap the back of your head a couple of times and lecture you + same thing goes when Sebek finds you except he doesn’t comfort you.

Thinks it’s amusing:

Rook, Jade, Floyd, Trey, Cater, Lilia,

“Ohoho did I go overboard?” Yea you did. Anyways little shits don’t feel bad in fact they think it’s funny and cute that you disappeared because you couldn’t handle the insults and took it for granted. Lilia and Jade giving you false comfort just to do it all over again when you make a mistake. They probably already know your hiding spots and camp there to experiment how long it’ll take for you to come crawling back.

Maybe, just a little bit that Trey feels bad. He coddles you for a while then goes right back to gaslighting because he’s always right and when he says these things to you it’s because you’re wrong!! The type to restrict his affections if you decide to go into another episode of running away and crying. Cater knows where ya at bc you have location on.

At first Floyd was pissed because his resting place is missing, like bae where you go? But eventually he understands where you went because for some reason he’s bullying everyone around him and stalking your location to see where ya at. Mocks you once he finds you, really mean but it wasn’t “entirely” intentional. Like he knows he’s at fault and is trying to cheer you up by mocking your “problems”. Ok but don’t do that again or he’s going on the genuinely tweakin box.

We all saw Rook being in this section no surprise. Knows every little place you could be right now, has his eyes on you 24/7. “My love I didn’t mean to say your lips are chapped and you can use some Vaseline but the whole thing would be gone isa joke :(“ it’s not. Purposely picks out your insecurities so you can do another runaway.

[longstoryshort22]

Peter is brand Taylor talking to real Taylor, I Look in People’s Windows is real Taylor talking to brand Taylor (the two were supposed to become one, but the more famous she gets the harder it is)😭😭

The whole theme of the album is Taylor herself and her career and how the industry has affected her, joe/matty/travis/kim are just red herrings bye im gonna go cry listening to Peter

(more details⬇️)

I’m not saying that some songs aren’t about those specific people, I’m just saying they’re only PART OF the theme, I believe her father (and other big heads in the industry) had a big influence on her career and forced her to stay in the closet from the very beginning, that messed her up, she had to hide her true self and keep bearding, and in 2019 she planned to come out but didn’t because of the masters heist, now it’s because she’s gotten more famous than ever that she has too much to lose. So maybe these men he dated, she did like them and she had multiple feelings when these relationships ended, but it’s all part of who the industry had made her into; she had one true love (maybe Karlie) but she couldn’t be with that person that’s why some songs are about a true deep love lost, but that’s still part of the “her career” theme, because of her career, she can’t be with that person. (more details⬇️)

What’s really interesting in this theme is that she’s calling out her father in multiple songs because he really made her life harder…

In Cassandra, (the obvious theory is that Cassandra representing gaylors bc we’ve been saying the truth but never believed. And the first verse is about her getting the news of her masters heist just before her coming out plan, and then “stone’s thrown” is referencing Stonewall.) And in the bridge “They knew the whole time that I was onto something. The family, the pure greed, the Christian chorus line. They all said nothing. Blood's thick but nothing like a payroll. Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul” she’s saying her family knew something but said nothing because greed and money, we saw the leaked emails of her father and how he cares more about making money out of Taylor’s career than caring about her as his daughter, so I think this bridge is about her father, also about religious trauma may or may not due to him.

In The Bolter, “A curious child, ever reviled by everyone except her own father. With a quite bewitching face, splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless, excellent fun 'til you get to know her, then she runs like it's a race” she’s talking about herself being a precocious uniquely intelligent ambitious child, which everyone reviled except her father. why? because he wanted to invest money on her, he controlled how she conducted her career from the beginning.

What’s crazier is that Robin may be about her father too. That song sounds like a sweet song but she’s faking it like “all this showmanship to keep it for you in sweetness”. If she’s referring to her father (only wanting to make money out of her career) in this song then “you’re an animal, you are bloodthirsty” makes so much more sense. And the “buried down deep and out of your reach, the secret we all vowed to keep it from you in sweetness” her father probably knows about her queerness but wants her and everyone to keep it quiet.

In But Daddy I Love Him, “people only raise you to cage you” is pretty obvious about her father forcing her to stay in the closet, and “people try and save you cause they hate you” is literally about homophobes. “Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid” is about her father laying all the plans for her, which isn’t always what she wants. “I'd rather burn my whole life down, than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning. I'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace” reminds me of that scene in Miss Americana where her father was lecturing why she couldn’t public her opinions. “Thinking it can change the beat of my heart when he touches me. And counteract the chemistry, and undo the destiny” is so queer coded. “Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see / You ain't gotta pray for me” another reference to religious trauma.

So all of this, about her father, about her lover and other men, it’s all connected to her career and she’s looking back at it, thinking and reflecting on it, that’s it that’s the blog

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 35

welcome to the thirty-fifth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Send Down the Rain by @azapofinspiration

Lance missed rain. As much as he missed his family and his home, he missed rain almost as much.

However, rain has to exist somewhere out in the universe, right? Even if he can't go home, Lance should be able to feel rain and soak it.

Right?

Five times Lance tried to find rain and the one time he did

lance should have gotten the rain in canon. he needed that. and god did azap fucking deliver!! this fic is sweet and this fic is sad and this fic is melancholy and this fic makes you want to throw up and this fic makes you feel alive. i fckn love this fic

2. Brawler by @admiralcanthackett [GORE WARNING]

I have no summary for this beyond Lance and Keith get ambushed and Lance is a determined motherfucker who fights dirty. Keith is mildly turned on and largely impressed.

you ever want to see lance, feral, thinking only of protecting his family, rip someone’s throat out with his teeth? no? well, i didnt either, but it turns out that i needed to read it, so. and just to clarify this series isnt just lance going batshit insane, although there is plenty of that, it also has some tender klance gong over trauma so thats fun

3. nobody has to know (nobody but me) by xeah

Lance has a secret, and he’s taking it to the grave –except, he didn’t think the ‘taking it to the grave’ bit would happen quite so soon.

When the team head planetside on a diplomatic mission, Lance can’t decide if he’s ecstatic about it, or about to endure an intense bout of homesickness. Sure, the planet looks cool, the aliens themselves are pretty chill considering they’ve singlehandedly fended off Galra attacks up until now. But thanks to Pidge making the team clocks that run on Earth time, Lance knows that it’s almost his nineteenth birthday.

Yeah, he’s gonna go with the homesickness.

Unfortunately for him, the aliens they visit have two distinct qualities that, in any other circumstance, Lance would find cool; the ability to sense emotions, and the complete inability to keep secrets. That extends to their allies, as well.

He probably would have continued thinking those were pretty amazing skills –until the aliens sense negative emotions between the Paladins, and demand that to secure an alliance, the team must heal the dissent brewing in the fine cracks between each other thanks to the secrets they’re keeping, no matter how trivial.

Yeah. Homesickness probably wasn’t the right way to go.

okay, full disclaimer, this series isnt finished and i doubt it ever will be. HOWEVER. this fic is, and this fic is fucking stellar. magical realism has always been a fave of mine, and of course add vld and klance to that and ill always go feral. if you want to see amazing mcclain family backstory and tension so thick you could gnaw on it, swallow the L and read this fic you’ll only be a litle devastated that you won’t see how the series ends

4. Bruises by @admiralcanthackett

Lance is cornered by a Galra, cut off from the rest of his team. When he hears their disparaging comments, instead of asking for help when he can, he hides how hurt he is. He doesn't want them to think he's anymore useless than he already is.

you can tell that the author was mad when fae wrote this and honestly? yeah. yeah, sometimes u just have to be mad. sometimes thinks go to shit and its everyone’s fault and your pain becomes physical and you just have to grit your teeth and tell everyone to go fuck themselves. thats what lance goes thru here

5. Hybrid by @admiralcanthackett

Lance overhears one of the aliens insulting Keith after a successful mission and loses his temper.

yes another admiral fic but let me live i have always been obsessed with these fics and there are just so MANY of them okay. there will be more. but i like this one bc who doesn tlike protective lance??? who doesnt like keith realising that he’s worthy of being defended??? like cmon now

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[gabessquishytum]

No sex-ed Dream our beloved 😁 how about the reverse of that last ask? Dream was told as a child that only married couples have babies, and growing up somehow completely missed any evidence to refute that. Even when he later (barely) learns about sex, by the time he’s in college he pretty firmly thinks it’s sex + marriage = babies. He still wanted his first time to be special though, so he’s still a virgin until he starts sleeping with Hob.

When Dream starts having pregnancy symptoms, he simply assumes he caught a bad flu or something. At some point Hob hesitantly brings up the possibility of pregnancy, but Dream just rolls his eyes and says something like that’s impossible, or that he’s pretty sure he would’ve noticed if he was pregnant.

What he’s thinking is “It’s impossible obviously bc we’re not married, and I’m pretty sure I would’ve noticed if we had gotten married, very funny Hob (actually that sounds lovely, but we should probably wait until after graduation)”.

What Hob hears is either “that’s impossible” as in Dream can’t have kids (a bit of a disappointment, but there’s always adoption), or “I would’ve noticed” as in Dream has already checked and confirmed he’s not, maybe he already took a test and it came back negative or he’s on his period, so Hob lets it go, and the nausea quickly goes away anyway and they move on in blissful ignorance (btw if Dream is like me he’s really really bad at tracking his cycles, so he doesn’t even notice that he’s missed a couple months (I’m so bad, if I ever get pregnant missing my period is not how I’m gonna find out 😅)).

If possible for maximum comedy I’d try to keep Dream in denial up until the birth, but Hob will probably bring the subject back up a little more forcefully when Dream starts showing. At first it could be dismissed as a little weight gain (and that’s what Dream definitely thinks it is), but at a certain point it’s clear that that’s a baby bump, it’s literally a baby bump, Dream do you have something you’d like to share???

They finally sit down and clear everything up, then they can both have a little freak out as a treat, that Dream is pregnant, they’re gonna be dads, holy shit they are so behind they need to schedule all the appointments yesterday.

-🪽anon

My love for this au never ends!!!! And I do have a huge soft spot for a Dream who is very obviously pregnant and very much in denial about it. Maybe he insists that Hob has just been feeding him too well! And Hob is staring at the very round very obvious bump (which occasionally ripples as the baby begins to move around and throw punches). Admittedly he likes to keep Dream eating plenty of nutritious meals, but his lasagnes definitely didn't do THAT.

I think deep, deep down Dream knows that he's having a baby, but he's very scared and kind of hoping the whole situation will go away if he ignores it. He still doesn't know HOW he got into this mess. Did him and Hob get married with out realising it? Dream is so confused and anxious and he wants a nine month nap and a hug. Instead he gets a baby (and a boyfriend who loves him very much and is who is NOT going to put his dick inside Dream without a condom for a very, very long time).

Nevertheless, the expectant parents are very very excited!!!! Hob is telling everyone he knows that his boyfriend is pregnant!!!! He's got a lil miracle in his belly!!!! Hob’s gonna be a daddy for real!!!! And Dream pulls off the most beautiful, iconic, celebratory trans pregnancy to the point where the entire campus is invested, and bigots everywhere are drowning in ire and envy.

It's especially nice that their baby, aged around 18 months, gets to be the guest of honour when they do get married. Dream and Hob get a night off from parenting their little one and have a very raunchy consummation of their marriage in their hotel room........ where Dream suggests that now they're actually married, maybe it's time to try for another baby?

Hob takes great pleasure in chucking the condoms out into the corridor. Time to make a baby with his HUSBAND <3

[leclerced]

I just tought that with how used Angel is to get what she wants, she gets bored while waiting for Lando and Oscar to finish their interviews so miss girl just goes over to them and is like "can we please go now I am getting bored?" And the boys want to drop everything for her but they have some duties that they just can't avoid so they take her with them in the interviews to keep her entertained, maybe even let her respond sometimes to the questions.

oscar tells her, “we’re gonna be done soon. you can be good for me and wait, can’t you?” while lando says, “we’ve gotta finish our media duties, just stay here with us, yeah? then we’ll go.” after lando says she can stay, oscar pulls her into his arms and turns her so her back is against his chest so he can rest his chin on her head, then asks the interviewer to repeat the question. they ask something about the car and when angel starts answering, the interviewer tries to redirect it back to oscar but he’s like, “no she knows more about the car than we do, let her answer.” it turns into them questioning her about the car and them about the race. it goes by so much faster after that and soon enough it’s over and they’re leaving and angel does the cutest sign off for them after they ask, she’s like “thank you soo much for having us! you can find us on —“ and then she’s grabbing their hands pulling her boyfriends away, eager to get back to the hotel.

everyone loves seeing her answering engineering questions and stuff like she works there while her boyfriends nod along happily. f1 twitter goes crazy theres so many tweets like “i want a man who looks at me like landoscar looks at angel” and everyone is talking about how they didn’t know she was studying to be an engineer or knew anything about cars.

i feel like the tiktoker chrissy chlapacka would find her bc of this and get in touch w her somehow so they could be besties. i think they would get along fabulously. i just remembered her and was like. shes the bimbo queen, angel and her are meant to be. them having deep intellectual conversations at races, everyone is debating race strategies and theyre sitting in the back of the garage talking philosophy 😭

[httpiastri]

JACK!!! i have returned! and i missed you! 💘💘

SO HERE WE GO!! THE FIGHT… i actually don’t think pepe will fight with both boys at the same time but definitely with either one of them?! i think it’s either boy’s constant teasing and remarks towards pepe’s newfound feelings friendship with yn!! they make it their own personal mission to point out everything pepe would do with and for yn, like pepe having a study date plan with yn? - “how was the study date with yn?” pepe sharing blankets with yn during one of their friend group’s movie nights? - “keep yn warm will you, pepe?” pepe coming back home from the hangout plan everyone was conveniently busy and can’t go anymore? - “did you have fun with yn today?” it started out innocent, coming from a place of love, just the best friends trying to help pepe figure out his own feelings for yn 🥹🤏🏻 they think they’re doing him a favor by giving that little nudge pepe needs but with how scared pepe is to just admit that he does, he kinda snapped at them one day?! he’s definitely like, “can you fucking stop that? it’s annoying, i don’t like her like that.” both boys are just … 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ “???what’s your problem dude??? what’s so bad if you do?” and pepe goes “but i don’t??? and try minding your own business next time?” and they’re just like “oh my god, are you scared?? is this what it is??” and pepe stomped back to him room, slammed the door shut and avoid talking to both boys for a few days or so :(

and imagine pepe ignoring/pulling back from yn after the fight!!! yn thinking that their friendship is finally progressing, just to show up to class the day after pepe’s fight with the boys and see her usual seat besides him being occupied by someone else, or seeing him sitting in a completely different row??? she’s like oh… okay… that’s fine too i guess..… 🫠 and i can see her just texting him throughout the day, undoubtedly worried bc of how he’s acting and he would dryly respond to them, before completely leaves her on delivered!! her final straw was raising her hands up to wave up pepe when she saw him across the campus, but he quickly duck his head down, shoving his airpods in while avoiding eye contact and making his way back to the boys’ shared apartment 😵‍💫

oh she def texted chris, sebas, and the gfs !! “guys is pepe okay? did i do something wrong? or say anything i shouldn’t have? he’s been ignoring me and i feel like im gonna cry.” chris and sebas, the first hand witnesses to the fight is def not shocked pepe is walking around with a sour expression on his face but is a bit taken a back to hear that’s he’s been ignoring her. so they’re just like “nah he’s not mad at you! we got into a bit of a fight, give him some time okay?” and their gfs came over for a girls night 🥺 the girls def threatened their bfs the day after, being like “idk what’s wrong with your friend but you tell him to get his shit together. all yn did last night was talk about how she hopes he’s doing well and that you guys made up.” and i think, whichever boy that was in the fight with him or both of them actually, definitely try to put in a good word or two for him to yn! just asking her to be a little patient with him while he’s trying his best, and to give him a little bit of time bc he’ll eventually come around… oh how i love these 3 so much!!! 🫶🏻 nothing like your best friends putting a good word for you to the girl you like while you actively ignore her

- 🎀

my dear dear bow anon 🥺 gosh i loved this SO much. trying not to freak out over how perfect this is-

okay yes i also think that both sebas and chris would probably tease him like crazy together, and like you say it's probably mostly with good intent. they wanna see their friend happy and maybe if they push him a little to realize his own feelings…. 🤭

but the fight itself was probs just with one of them. i'm imagining the two of them talking about pepe and his feelings for yn just the two of them, a little like "how can he not realize? he's head over heels for her??". so they're both on the same page yk. but then i think that maybe sebas takes it too far one day, saying something about the way that pepe and yn went on a long walk last night just to "talk", or the way that he held her hands in his earlier today to heat them because they were cold… and pepe just can't take it anymore. it's not weird at all that he eventually just snaps, he's under enough pressure just from himself because he can't tell what he wants, and now the guys who are supposed to be his best friends are pressuring him too?? pretty hard to handle all that at the same time

(also… pepe being the most upset when sebas brings up the idea of him being scared 😭 like he really struck a nerve with that one…. pepe tries to be so tough and strong but on the inside, he's a little softie 🥹)

i'm thinking like when yn goes through all that the day after, ofc she first texts the girls and they have no idea. but they text their respective bfs, who happen to be sitting next to each other in class, and chris looks at sebas like "? what's going on?" while sebas just wants to hide under a rock because he knows it's his fault.…. so he says "i think i screwed up" and explains. chris wants to bonk him on his head but refrains, and instead send a message to yn telling her that pepe and sebas got into a fight so that's probably what's affecting him. and while it does calm her a little, she still can't shake away the feeling that she's part of the reason why he's acting like this. so there are definitely some tears during the girls' night 🥺 and ofc she like pours her heart out in front of the girls and it just fuels their anger towards their bfs because they feel so sorry for her. sebas would probably come to yn all ashamed and apologize and 😭😭

[magicwithineleteo]

Bestie you like Rina right? What's your favorite moment of them from each season? 💖

hi twin!!!

yes i love love love rina i’d say it’s my favorite ship from hsmtmts and honestly maybe top 10 ships in general <3

this is gonna be really hard bc i love their overall journey so much and i can’t name just one moment from every season so i’m gonna name a few per season bc i cannot choose lmao

also there are countless parallels i left out bc i forgot them

season 1:

- character introductions

okay this technically is an honorable mention but i still think it’s important, in the character introductions video, when asked if he’s intimidated by gina, ricky says…

No, actually. Can’t say she does.

i love this line bc everyone was intimidated by gina. she was new, a triple threat, an ultimate bad b who was confident in herself. and that scared the other kids. but ricky was the only one who wasn’t.

when asked about ricky, gina says…

Ricky intrigues me…and I don’t get intrigued.

AHHH??? sorry that just is so AHHHH

- skatepark scene

this scene, i’d say is arguably one of the most important scenes in the whole show. ricky is basically done w the show because he thinks that he’s ruining the show and if he stays in the show, nini will leave and she needs to be the lead, so he unofficially quits. he’s just been scolded(?) or idk nini ranted about how he’s ruining it and how he sinks. he goes to the skatepark and who does he see? gina. now i know her intentions weren’t the best at the time, and she at the time just wanted nini out, but that conversation is what kept ricky in the show, as he confirms a few episodes later. she literally was the only reason he stayed with the show, he was literally about to drop out for nini. she reassured him after him already doubting himself and not knowing what he was doing and nini being rude to him in front of everyone.

That’s why I was stoked when she casted you. Outsiders keep everyone else on their toes. I mean it. You kept us real.

It’s probably better to have someone up there who can actually keep time. That 5 and 6 stuff?

You don’t need Carlos to tell you how to move. He bites other people’s styles. You have your own.

- homecoming car scene

this scene is monumental in the shows history bc this is where rina was officially born i’d say. this scene literally changed the trajectory of the show. firstly, the rina cue was born. he once again says that gina isn’t scary or intimidating.

Let me guess, you pictured a raw iron gate and a bunch of gargoyles?

Kinda. You’re not that scary.

then he confirms that he stayed in the show solely bc of her

I kinda owe you a thank you, actually.

For what?

You’re the reason I stayed with the show. That night at the skatepark? You set me straight, and it’s been a big deal for me, the Troy thing.

Well it suits you.

[…]

You know I…I meant what I said…at the skatepark about you having your own style. I don’t even think I knew how much I meant it when I said it.

and then in the next episode he says that he can’t forget anything that happened at homecoming. WHEN SHE SAID ALL THAT AND THEN KISSED HIS CHEEK

- when there was me and you

gina was the only one who supported his acoustic idea and he played it for her and SERENADED HER. the entire season and show people have been rude to ricky (nini, ej, his parents, miss jenn) and gina is the only one who consistently supports him <3

not only does gina like ricky but he’s also her first friend at east high, the first person she broke her walls around.

at this point, ricky isn’t chasing after nini anymore. and gina isn’t chasing after the lead anymore. they’re both free to just be.

ricky only starts to pursue nini romantically again after gina leaves. because what was he gonna do about his feelings when gina was leaving forever ?? and he was focused on gina too, constantly texting her and trying to talk to her after she stopped showing up to school. he only started liking nini again or focusing on his old feelings because gina was out of the picture and they didn’t think they’d ever meet again. which is why the next section is :O

- stick to the status quo

this was a BIG deal because ricky really thought he’d never see gina again and to see her onstage , performing , was a big shock. she kept re emphasizing how this was her last time seeing them and how it’s one night only.

Don’t blink, you’ll miss me.

The disappearing Gina act.

One night only!

ricky knew she wouldn’t be back so there was no point to do anything with his feelings, because he buried them down after thinking he’d never see her again. what was the point of confessing to her that he likes her if she wasn’t gonna be in his life anymore? she pretty much cut communication with him after she left so there was no point. so he focused on nini and confessed to her.

we later learn there’s more that happened that night.

but now, ricky is with nini and gina gets a surprise offer by ashlyn to stay with her for the next semester.

BOOM SEASON 1 ENDED

season 2:

- valentine’s day conversation

god this scene is so packed .

ricky and gina’s relationship is based on understanding. they say things in this scene like

Valentine’s day is kinda hard for me this year, and I thought of all people, you would understand.

You did?

Yeah well..my mom’s been my valentine every year since I was 4. I guess I thought she would send me a stuffed bear as kind of our tradition. Um, but I just got off the phone with her, and it sounds like she forgot. But she works crazy hard hours. So…

Yeah, I…I get that. Um, missing your mom.

I knew you would. Sorry, there’s just some things I tell you that I don’t really tell anyone else.

Yeah, no, I think we do that for each other.

this conversation reminds me of the one they had in thanksgiving which is also a direct parallel of gina coming to ricky’s home and them understanding each other like no one else where this happened…

Is everything okay?

Yeah, yup…okay, no. I guess my mom has a new boyfriend and it’s just a lot. Sorry, I hate to be a downer.

Look, I…I get it.

No offense, but I’m not sure you do.

Let me guess, you’re mad that everyone and everything because just when you’re getting used to things changing, they change again. Am I close?

A little bit.

[…]

Do what makes you happy.

ricky and gina are incredible because he’s the boy who hates change and she’s the girl whose world is always changing, and they find solace in each other.

- opening night flashback scene

this scene also is so pivotal!! we see gina confess to ricky that she would’ve pursued him had she not moved away. this scene is so beautiful. we also see ricky later regret not stopping her.

You were amazing out there, Ricky. I mean, Breaking Free?

Um, guess so.

Trust me, I’m a theatre person. You guys made some magic.

Yeah, it was actually good to get something right, for once. I guess you have that feeling all the time.

I don’t do anything right the first time, Ricky. My thing is that I just keep pushing. And I never quit.

I know you don’t.

So, I guess I just wanna say that…um…sorry this is so stupid, I don’t know why I’m crying.

Say it.

I wouldn’t quit on us if I wasn’t moving away…So now, I’m gonna give you a really tight hug, and then I’m gonna walk away with my head held high. Okay?

Okay.

AH THIS SCENE IS SO PACKED

firstly, gina supporting ricky again, telling him what a great job he did.

gina says here that she doesn’t do anything right for the first time. this quote itself foreshadows her romantic ending. because in season 3, she has her summers of firsts. first boyfriend, first kiss, etc. this was her first confession too. and it didn’t go the way she wanted it to.

ricky was so gentle w her and is always so gentle when she’s crying :’)

but this scene explains why ricky and gina don’t really speak much. gina confesses to him as the plane was crashing and is staying away from him for herself and out of respect for him and nini’s relationship.

ricky knows that gina likes him, but just got with nini. he doesn’t know what to do, especially since gina is staying now. he pushes down his feelings for her now to focus on nini. he tries to keep their relationship the same by going to her for advice, but she sets the boundary of not confiding in her about nini. he respects her wishes and really doesn’t speak to her for the entire season. and by the time he is single again, even if he wanted to pursue gina, she was already having a thing with ej. there would’ve been no point. he was stuck with his feelings, trying to juggle his dying relationship with nini, repressed feelings for gina, his dad and miss jenn dating and his mom and todd dating.

they both were going through a lot this season. gina literally almost leaves salt lake because she’s so heartbroken.

- second chance

skipping to the end of the season, the entire song of second chance is just so rina coded.

ricky sings

But there is something in this summer wind, a moment to begin again.

and reiterates in this song

Begin again, begin again, begin again.

they all sing

What can make the tide turn? What can make the fire burn? A second chance is all.

they’re saying that the thing that can change the tide and ignite the fire is a second chance.

(also insert the lamp between rina thing here)

ricky also says

Here’s to second chances.

season 3:

- start over

ricky literally says before he goes to camp

This summer is all about second chances.

and then gina says this to him

Can we just start over?

Yes, definitely.

[…]

We’re in a new place, we’re different people now. We can start fresh. No drama, no chocolates. Summer’s supposed to be fun, right?

Yes, totally agree. Summer of fun!

this was so important.

obviously gina is currently happy with ej and even though she has lingering feelings for ricky, she’s excited to have her friend back and is focused on her relationship with ej. ricky is being finally free and is just enjoying himself. no thoughts in his head whatsoever <3

- what do you know about love?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

so earlier ricky was appointed to play gina’s jilted ex who still has feelings for her, and he actually does have feelings for her. gina is currently mad at ej and has old feelings for ricky too. when asked to perform this song and “have fun torturing ej”, this masterpiece was born.

the chemistry is insane the tension is there ricky is WHIPPED gina is swinging him around 10/10

then after, val describes ricky as heartsick and gives her psychological analysis on him

and then later ricky confesses that he wasn’t completely acting when pretending to be in love with gina

- color war events

1. firstly they spent the day together and had lots of fun

2. ricky helped gina set up the little promposal for ej and i think this scene really shows how far ricky’s grown.

in season 1, ricky, while i love him infinitely, purposefully sabotaged nini and ej’s relationship because he loved her. he tried to split them apart and then eventually stopped. in season 3, ricky is in love with gina, however he wants to see her happy and recognizes that currently, ej makes her happy. so he helps her set up this canoe thing for her and watches her surprise ej. he just wants to see her happy, whether it’s with him or without.

then he goes to his bunk and cries

I can’t believe I let color war slip out of my fingers.

You mean Gina?

he’s upset that he didn’t pursue her, that he shouldn’t have let her just leave. he regrets what he did.

this also parallels the quinceñero episode when gina cries seeing ricky and nini.

also both of them saying “you’re the best”

honorable mention- the coat check scene being a direct parallel of homecoming and showing ricky being gentle with gina again after she broke up with ej and ricky being gagged when he sees gina

- kristoff lullaby

this song is so them<3 and lucaya

every single word applies to them.

What do I know about love? Everything I thought I did, you’ve gone and changed it kid. You’re what I know about love.

ricky looks at gina as he sings this part.

AHHHH

it’s perfect for them because she did change his idea of love. like i said earlier, she’s helped him grow. he went from loving nini selfishly, holding onto her desperately because she was his only constant and he would do anything to keep her with him, to loving gina selflessly and purely wanting her to be happy and to thrive, with or without him. he learned to be able to let go because of nini. he had to let her go because he loved her. now he loves gina with no pressure or anything.

it’s him finally letting his feelings out, he’s repressed them the entire time, whether it be because he was with nini or because she was with ej. but now, under the character of kristoff, he’s letting his love be.

and i think that’s so beautiful.

- you’re a yes

gina’s whole confession was so so important and everything about it was perfect to me.

a lot of people thought that ricky should’ve been the one to make a speech but gina making it makes sense. she didn’t confess right the last time (because she doesn’t do anything right the first time) as well as the fact that she was the one who was in a relationship and ricky was respectful of it. he didn’t want to say anything to her because he didn’t know if it was too soon for her to move on or not. it had only been a month since she and ej broke up. gina had to make that choice herself. not him.

i’m gonna go into depth about her confession:

He’s wrong.

Sorry? Who?

EJ. He said we all saw this coming. But I didn’t. Not that night in your car after homecoming, or when I made you that hat at Thanksgiving and the floppy little ears looked so dumb, but..it was honestly one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen. God, Ricky Bowen, you have been a surprise since the day we met. You weren’t the plan, you were never the plan. Plans change. And, if you want me to shut up, I’ll shut up but, I don’t have maybe feelings for you. You aren’t a maybe. You’re a yes. And I like to know where people stand with me so now you know where you stand with me. And so, I’m going to walk out of here with my head held high, and I’m never gonna look back again. Unless you stop me.

Wait.

[They kiss]

okay so now we’re gonna go line by line bc this is genius lyrics

obviously the parallels in the beginning, gina references season 1

You weren’t the plan, you were never the plan. Plans change.

this references 2 things, #1 being ej and gina’s conversation in season 1

What happened to the plan? I think I’m missing it because I’m still the understudy, and you seem pretty happy, so what changed?

Nothing…everything? I don’t know.

So you care about Ricky?

And what if I do?

and also tim’s feelings about rina

And, if you want me to shut up, I’ll shut up but, I don’t have maybe feelings for you. You aren’t a maybe. You’re a yes.

this directly references gina’s breakup with ej, because she says that maybe isn’t good enough for her right now.

And so, I’m going to walk out of here with my head held high, and I’m never gonna look back again. Unless you stop me.

Wait.

directly references her first confession

So now, I’m gonna give you a really tight hug, and then I’m gonna walk away with my head held high. Okay?

Okay.

last time, ricky let her walk away, but this time he didn’t repeat his mistake. and he stops her and he kisses her <3

the end! that was my very long unnecessary post <3 i love rina thank u for asking twin ilysm

[horsetailcurlers2]

watching grey’s anatomy for the first time after only watching private practice: another long and obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching (season TEN, bc i’m gonna keep doing these until someone tells me to stop)

-i guess we’re all just getting electrocuted now

-okay i never really got the mcdreamy thing to be honest but watching that man juggle…. yeah i get it

-changed my mind again he’s a stupid idiot

-cristina was really harsh but i think meredith is very much misunderstanding her point

-super random but is it weird that i kind of hate derek and meredith’s house? don’t get me wrong it’s objectively very nice but the vibes upset me. too many windows

-i adore halloween episodes. this is so fun. the musical score is insane.

-lots and lots of guest actors on this show have also been in mad men. maybe i’ll make a spreadsheet.

-a fork!!!!

-i like the OCD storyline it seems like they’re trying to do with bailey. at least so far. it’s the most interesting storyline she’s had in a while.

-arizona is kind of treating that resident girl horribly imo

-okay now meredith is just being purposefully obstinate with this whole christina situation

-so i guess we’re all just mouth kissing residents on the mouth now, huh?

-oh no i sense murphy might start to go a little off the rails

-there’s too much happening all at once! first of all, idk that i buy the chemistry between april and jackson enough for all the hoopla to make sense. second of all, i thought murphy would’ve been the one to go off the deep end. i totally should’ve foreseen ross having a breakdown. they’ve been sprinkling seeds. third of all, regarding obama just calling up derek…… okay i guess.

-NOW human resources chooses to actually involve themselves in this tomfoolery??

-the way that everyone in this show treats getting married like it’s just a fun thing to do on the weekend is driving me nuts. bc duh, jackson and april!!!!! duh you should have talked about how you want to raise your kids before you jumped into this!!

-“it’s not as if i’m insensitive to deaf culture or anything. i just think [something that is completely insensitive to deaf culture]”- jackson avery

-amelia!!! (side note i never noticed this but the shepherd sibling casting is so good. they have like the exact same eyes)

-BURKE?????

-i forgot how much this man pisses me off bc he’s comparatively much better than owen

-this scene is so interesting and part of me really wants cristina to take burke’s offer but i’m so distracted by the slow dad rock cover of “like a virgin” that they’re playing in the background. wild choice

-i will miss yang terribly but i think this is the right choice for her character

-“don’t let what he wants eclipse what you need. he is very dreamy but he is not the sun. you are.” !!!!!!!!!!!! sobbing

[artificialbreezy]

Choking - Fruity Four

AN: hi my babies!! i’m sorry for the delay!! this whole week (fuck it only being tuesday) had been very busy. but i promise regular posting will continue come tomorrow!! please keep in my mind, October 14-18 i will be not on like at all, or if i am very LITTLE since my wedding is on the 15th. i love you all vvv much, thank you for your patience!!!

CW: Dom/sub dynamic, steve x fem!reader, robin x fem!reader, eddie x fem!reader, nancy x fem!reader, pet names, degradation, mentions of the word slut, plz let me know if i missed anything

Steve

Steve found out accidentally one day tbh

you were at a party, and relatively tipsy

he’d go up to kiss you (bc let’s face it. Billy was looking at you like you were a piece of cake and he didn’t like that) and wrap his hand around your throat to pull you close and plop a wet, needy kiss to your lips

you moaned a little, quiet enough you thought Stevie boy didn’t hear you

He didn’t bring it up that night, held it in until the perfect timing

and today just so happens to be that timing

you were being a little mouthy today. talking back, arguing over small things, and snapping at Steve

which usually Steve would push aside because he knew how awful working at Family Video could be, but today as home as smooth as can be and he was not having it

“angel?” you’d look over to him and hum

“i’d suggest you’d lose that attitude you got. it’s not gonna end well for you if you don’t”

you’d just roll your eyes and continue putting away the tapes

by the time closing came around, Steve was beyond irritated

locked up the store, got in the car and you noticed Steve driving not towards your house, but towards his own.

“ Steve. Where are we going? I thought you were taking me home?”

“We’re going to my place sweetheart. I called your parents and told them you’d be with me tonight so they’re not worried. Now please, be a good baby for me and be quiet until we get home.”

he’d pull in his driveway, open your door for you as always, put his hand on your lower back and gently push you towards the front door

once you guys were inside though, all bets off. that door closed and Steve had you against the wall, hand around your throat, squeezing just enough for you to understand what he was getting at

“You think i’m just gonna let you get away with being a brat all day?” he’d chuckle before he continued speaking. “Now angel, why would I do that? Did you think I didn’t notice the way you reacted the first time my hand was around your throat? How you looked so desperate and needy for me? Silly baby. Now why don’t you get on your knees and show me how sorry you are, hmm?”

Robin

Robin 100% is a secret kinky lady and when she first met you - her kinda metal head sweetheart. she felt much more comfortable sharing those things

your first date, you had a clue. Robin was a nervous nelly, a shy baby. you knew you had to protect her at all costs

at this point, she’s your lil baby and you’re her mama bear

she calls you bear, you call her birdie. which to everyone around you, it sweet and innocent

but behind closed doors, little ole Robin loves being told what to do

that smart mouth that’s always going, is suddenly gone and she just wants to please you

so one day you got her laying on your bed, doe eyes looking up at you

“please…”

“please what Rob?”

she’d groan, she hates when you use her name when it’s just you two

“please mama, need you.”

“you need me, sweet girl? need me where?”

she’d have tears in her eyes, barely able to speak

you’d reach your hand down, and gently wrap it around her neck

press a soft kiss right below her ear and squeeze a little harder

“cmon baby, i know you go a little dumb with my hand around your throat. but gotta tell me what you want. can you be my best girl, and tell me?”

she tries to speak, but your grip on her throat tightens

“course you can’t, silly baby. don’t worry, i always know what your sweet self needs”

Eddie

scary, big eddie

well everyone thinks he’s scary, except Hawkins high Alum, cheer captain that taught Chrissy Cunningham all she knows.

now, Eddie’s into casual dominance. he’s sweet and spicy

you break a rule or even act in a way that’s not polite or sweet - because “my precious girl needs to know her manners”

he’ll take you over his knee so fast

or his hand around your throat, while he’s pumping in and out of you at such a slow rate you think you’ll die

today was one of those instances, he was teasing you reeeeaaalll bad

you’d have tears in your eyes, bucking your hips up just to feel something

he’d chuckle at you - which lets me real, man would make anyone hide if he laughed at you like that

“such a needy girl. what? your cunt feel empty? need more?”

you’d just nod, because you knew he’d tighten his grip around your throat

“pathetic. my little, pathetic slut. too bad you can’t” he’d thrust back into you, “fucking” thrust again, “act”, he’d pull out again and stay out this time, “right”

Nancy

Nancy, I feel would be a pretty solid switch. More Dom but sometimes subby

Dom Nancy, LOOOOVEEESS making you squirm. whether it be, soft touches, or suggestive comments

Sub Nancy, LOOOVVEESS being told what to do, how to please you. She listens real well

but rn we’ll talk about sub Nancy (dom nancy will come sooooon)

she’s a sucker for your dirty talk

you know how to make her feel small

you’d be between her legs, pressing soft kisses against her thighs every now and then placing a kiss on her clothed cunt

she’d be whiny at this point, just wants to feel you

“baby please, do something. anything.”

now, Nancy has 100% choked you but you’ve never done it to her

“anything?”

she’d nod down at you

“okay sweet girl, you keep sitting there all pretty. i’m gonna try something, if you don’t like it - remember three taps and i’ll stop, okay?

she’d smile at you as you stood up, “okay!”

with that, you’d lean down and press a sweet kiss to her lips

slowly deepening the kiss, she’d melt right into it too

your leg was pressed against her core, and she took it as an invite to try to grind against you. just to feel you, even a little bit

you’d slowly drag your hand to her neck, and squeeze just a little. not too hard

you could tell just from the way she grounded against and the gasp she let out

“oh sweetie, look at you. actin like a little slut. you like this huh?”

[wander-wren]

i keep seeing shiver slander and as someone who has spent multiple years trying to get everyone i know to read that silly werewolf romance i NEED to list all the reasons i like it, thank you. out of context spoilers below the cut, if you care about that at all. this also devolved into whole series spoilers but it’s still mostly shiver

the text (in my paperback copy) is fucking blue. for the other books which are green/red/orange themed THE TEXT MATCHES this has nothing to do with the book i just think it slaps

speaking of design the og covers are better. color coded leaves and vines with a red blood spatter dot for the i. bc characters get shot a surprising amount. it’s cool sorry

grace is the first protag i ever read who was so relentlessly practical. she has her life plan. she’s very organized. she’s going to college. she doesn’t have time for parties. she’s me except she reads exclusively nonfiction and mystery

she’s like this bc her parents are artsy types and very neglectful, they never got past their college kid phases. actually this is super interesting taken next to something like the dreamer trilogy where art is literally magic. but childhood trauma count: 3

it’s 3 bc they’re so bad at being parents they let her get attacked by wolves as a kid and also she nearly died from being left in a car the following summer

sam is my baby boy. he loves books, he knows a ton of poetry but especially rilke, he bakes bread and makes origami birds to hang in his bedroom and he’s a musician

he was raised by a relentlessly practical but very caring werewolf dude after his parents tried to murder him for being a werewolf when he was seven. childhood trauma count: 4

do you see. do you see how they are each other’s opposites. except for the small detail that sam’s second dad loved him. fuck

beck is sam’s dad and he’s so fucking complicated but i adore him.

they both link their hands behind their head when they’re stressed. they make the same facial expressions. i. cannot. dad and son

cole st clair exists. he’s a canadian rockstar turned werewolf BY CHOICE and he and sam are incredibly at odds over this. cole is deeply suicidal and a genius and i am fascinated by him

i’m gonna get more unhinged. ready? small warning for a few gore mentions

shelby

just. shelby’s scar scene. torturing an alive bird by playing with it’s entrails. “it looked like hamburger when they bit me. it must be hell when we kill something. we must be the worst way to die”

but also: that blink and you miss it scene where she tries to tell sam pretending he can be normal is pointless and he should Accept his wolfishness and she’s fucking up his school papers and beck drags her out and tells her to remember where she came from, and if she ever says that to sam again he will send her back. and shes screaming. fuck. what the FUCK.

i’m gonna repeat that shelby

beck being the one who turned sam bc his wife died and he was selfish and stupid. goddamn

grace when she starts turning in linger. grace who just wants a nice apartment and a red coffee pot. it’s about holding onto the one inconsequential thing as a metaphor for stability/happiness

the first bathtub scene. fuck. FUCK. save your new boyfriend from turning wolf but you have to purposely trigger flashbacks to his childhood trauma. what the fuck

cole not believing in sam’s trauma and dragging him to the bathroom only for sam to have another flashback in front of him

fucking. jack’s death. he’s a dick but holy shit

the scene where sam plays his guitar in the bathtub and Is Okay. ohmygod my heart

beck talking to grace and telling her that sam is more human than the others and being a wolf is torture for him. he’s the best damn person beck knows and beck ruined him bc of his own selfishness and spent a decade trying to make up for it

FUCKING MR DARRIOS DOGS WHAT THE FUCK

childhood trauma count: 6 (i forgot to count shelby)

cole’s voicemails to isabel. dies

cole wants to die so so so much and all his internal monologues about it make me cry

grace and isabel reluctant friendship

i have no idea what book it is but that scene with isabel in the mexican restaurant trying to play normal with her family

that scene from i want to say linger where grace starts vomiting blood and when it’s over the first thing she says is “sam. my hair.” so sad and miserable and its not ABOUT her hair having gunk in it its. a metaphor. please

the fucking helicopter chase scene. it’s not even until book 3 but if there was an adaptation that is the one scene i would want to see

every scene with grace and her parents fucking breaks my heart bc they’re not breaking the law they’re just ignoring her. grace thinking that if she was less of a golden child they would pay attention to her and shes RIGHT bc as soon as she breaks the rules for sam….

isabel and her parents are also so. soo. no one has a healthy parental relationship not even beck and sam

SPEAKING OF WHEN BECK SHOWS UP WITH COLE AND VIKTOR AND SAM IS SO FUCKING BETRAYED? they chose this life but it’s hell for him, he can’t imagine forcing anyone into it

but also the fucking scene where jack kidnaps grace and she calls beck and pretends to have a normal conversation while he tries to get info about her location and jack’s intentions….that’s the scene that always makes me bawl idk why. beck is so reassuring

grace hating poetry until sam reads it to her

CHRISTA. NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT CHRISTA.

she exists in exactly one flashback where she and beck are fighting bc she killed someone (as a wolf) and beck is lecturing her and she’s like “this isn’t a life i’m a monster and i’ll cope how i damn well please” and beck tells her to leave and never come back. and he follows her into the backyard and shoots her.

grace in the mud pit in whatever book that was

to end on a happy note: sam and grace in the golden wood. sam and grace on their coffee/candy store date. grace crying when sam reads her poetry and finally understanding it/art for the first time. sam as a person in winter for the first time in a decade. i cry

[miaushii]

Love your art

Im new here, do you have any posts talking about those ocs you posted? Would love to hear about them

oh my god now that someone asked there isn’t a single person on this planet that’s gonna be able to make me shut up about my imaginary lesbians,,,

first off, introducing them!!! (also thank you sm<3)

(disclaimer, their lore is pretty fluid based on my mood or if i have a certain idea for a drawing for them)

Their names are Esther and Aisha!! They grew up together in a small town probably somewhere around Washington! Think gravity falls, very foresty and nature-y, but still a cozy small town where everyone knows everyone. Said town may or may not have suspicious cult activity. They met each other in like kindergarten and have been bffs since!! They’re both typically 16 in most of my drawings, but sometimes I draw them in their early 20’s. If it’s important to the context of a drawing i’ll put their ages in the tags!! They spend all their free time together and are superrrr inseparable :3

Before I get to the actual plot of their story i’ll introduce them individually ^_^

This is Esther!!

(i shouldve chosen a different facial expression for her introduction bc it doesn’t really represent her personality but i liked this drawing)

She’s somewhat popular, came from a family with some generational wealth (they aren’t rich rich but theyre still rich for their town) and her family is kindaaa involved in the weird cult but she doesn’t really know. She lives with her parents and older sister!! Her favorite class is math and english, but she hates history. She’s well liked by her peers and the others in the town because she’s nice and very pretty! They do think she’s a little off-putting though. She’s good at drawing, she loves doing landscapes!! She loves girly things and will give anyone a makeover any chance she gets. I’ll explain the rest once i get to explaining the real plot ^_^

This is Aisha!!

She’s honestly my favorite between the two I love her so much… She’s mixed south asian and white, her mom being Indian and her dad white. People see her as a pretty cool and aloof person, which is pretty accurate!! She loves music and her favorite bands are bôa, the cranberries, and the sundays!! possibly me projecting She plays the guitar!! Poorly, but still!!! She does well in science and not so much in math, but that’s okay though cause Esther always helps her. Aisha’s mother died in mysterious circumstances when she was young, a little bit before she met Esther, so she just lives with her dad and two little sisters.

Finally, the actual plot!!

here’s how it goes down:

One day when hanging out, Aisha tells Esther more about her mother’s death (something Aisha rarely talked about) and Esther recognizes some things relating to her family. She doesn’t tell Aisha this, though, and decides to start investigating it herself. She finds more about her parent’s cult activities, and once they know she knows, the cult invites her to join. She declines and, knowing the horrible things they’ve done, tries to run to Aisha’s house. she’s running through the forest to Aisha’s house when they catch her. Her own mother is the one to catch her, and with her father’s convincing, her mom kills her.

They buried her, and buried the carcass of a white doe on top to mislead anyone who dug it up.

The day after, a white doe rose from the dirt, healed wounds in the same places that took out Esther. Over the next month, the deer would hang out around Aisha’s house. Aisha had been super worried because Esther had gone missing and they were best friends. She was in her back yard when an injured white doe came up to her, and it was weirdly familiar??? she went to pet it and it turned into her bff Esther (woah) Esther’s memories are super foggy but she tells Bea what she remembers (she doesn’t really remember that her own parents were in the cult) and she can also morph from a deer to a human and back.

Aisha has to keep Esther hidden from the town because of the cult and that Esther was literally killed, and together they figure out the cult stuff while trying not to be killed!! And while this is going on, they figure out their feelings for each other!! (theyve been in love for years and never realized it)

I do eventually want to write a comic with these characters but i’m awful at writing, and that’s a biiiiig commitment im not sure im ready for!!

as an treat here are their original designs from before they were recurring characters in my art :3

[whoredmode]

For the ask meme:

5 for Shaundi

9 for Pierce

12 for something Anteros believes about Johnny

Send me a character and a number and I'll tell you

5. a headcanon that's all but canon, and that's a hill I will die on

shaundi is the oldest in her family. idgaf whatever the DLCs imply she’s the cool big sister ok! she loves her little sisters so so so much and she misses them all the time. i’ll die on this hill.

semi-related i hope like post-srtt when she has a little more free time she can get back in regular contact with them. i think part of her homesickness during srtt, aside from just generally missing stilwater, is that she misses her sisters.

9. a missing scene that definitely happened

ok this goes for both pierce and shaundi but there was for sure like a solid couple of days right after sr2 where the two of them were trying to figure out who anteros’ boyfriend was. bc anteros accidentally let it slip he was dating someone, and the two of them are nosy as hell. pierce starts orchestrating this whole plan about how they can snoop and catch him with this mystery man but somehow it just ends up with them following him. obviously whenever anteros and troy are out in public together, troy’s disguised. so when they see anteros with Just Some Fucking Guy they’re a little disappointed. were expecting someone cooler.

later on they have their own separate moments with troy during srtt like hey so were you and anteros…..?

also another one i think about A Lot is during sr2 when pierce is left in charge of watching dane while johnny and anteros leave to scope out the hotel akuji is at. just the questions i’m left wondering about this unseen moment. like what did dane say to pierce? did he get under his skin? did dane leave his business card for pierce? it haunts me

12. something they believe about [other character] that isn't true

i think for a long time anteros believed johnny resented him. for how thing’s went with aisha, for lying about partnering with troy, for just kinda involving everyone in his own personal problems (dex) and keeping things from them. these issues definitely come to a head in srtt with troy returning to the gang, but the thing is. it’s complicated. johnny never truly hated anteros. he could never. anteros still respects johnny’s opinion most of all, and the two went through hell together in sr2. you don’t just throw all that away, especially not when you’re them.

perhaps the underlying theme of their dynamic is that sometimes the person you trust the most will inadvertently do something that hurts you, and learning how to deal with that is crucial for the health of the relationship. they have trouble talking about this sort of thing for a long time, but after the events of srtt they become a lot more open and willing to sit down and work things out. their friendship is so deeply important to both of them. i mean, by the time the GooH-inspired side story takes place, johnny is the one who immediately says he’s gonna save him. they’d die for each other.

so yes, while i think anteros believed johnny must’ve hated him for a long time, it was never the case. if anything, johnny cared so much that he knew he wanted to fix things even if he couldn’t express it quite right for a long time.

[sweet-little-dude]

taku it feels like i haven’t talked to you in ages. cries. also also i love the new theme!! even if i miss the mizo mid pfp

anyways i am here to tell you that i FINALLY watched s2 of tokrev omg aren’t you proud of me 😌😌 i don’t really have much to say abt it tbh bc i mean i knew everything that happened already you know everything that happened already soo... but i gotta tell you abt the moments that made me feel the most things bc well. i gotta tell someone and my qpp was live experiencing everything bc i watched s2 with them & three of our friends so it’s only you left. okay so first i gotta explain shakey time bc uhh my qpp & i are both shit with ~emotions~ and ~feelings~ so basically when either of us Feels Too Much TM we grab the other by the shoulder and shake?? honestly i have no clue why but somehow it helps with processing ??? well i’m calling whatever that is shakey time. so. too much shakey time in those 4 hours i swear. most notably the whole manila mikey shit (i mean i knew ehat was gonna happen but still 😭😭😭😭) and then on a wayyy happier note izana!! izana <33 and shion and mochi and the haitanis <33 so much shakey time. love izana’s japanese va (idk abt others we only watched it sub so). very happy and i have newfound motivation for sm stuff now help. also do you happen to know who that guy beside mochi was in that one shot where we see him, izana, shion, kisaki iirc, and the haitanis? bc my only guess is mucho. or some random unimportant guy. but like both of these don’t make that much sense. maybe i’m just forgetting smth idk

also i have no clue how the bd arc would do that but i am now going insane over the final timeline?? specifically the final timeline but everyone still has their memories from before the final jump. except maybe kisaki or smth idk but i haven’t figured good criteria for who remembers n why yet. i most specifically need bajitrio to remember bc i think that makes for fun hcs hehe. just kazu & fuyu subtly trying to check for baji’s pulse (or heartbeat) to make sure he’s actually still alive in this timeline n eventually it becoming a habit/subtle sign of love kinda thing bc they do it so often lol. also kazu & fuyu def have an obsession with falling asleep on baji’s chest while listening to his heartbeat. i feel it’d be very reassuring to them idk,, and i think kazu holds baji’s waist 24/7 when they’re the age he would’ve died + older bc there isn’t any injury or scar there (where he stabbed him in the other timeline-) and he sometimes needs to reassure himself that there really isn’t afjkfgjffh

while i’m on that mitsuya repeatedly calls draken in the middle of the night around the time where he died in the other timeline to make sure he’s alive. mikey just makes draken sleep over in his bed and solves the problem with that lol

also. hanma. hanma keeps forgetting that kisaki’s alive in this timeline at first and scares himself shitless every time they interact bc for a split second he thinks he’s going crazy seeing a ghost

kakucho simply never leaves izana again. problem solved 👍

mikey lives with emma & shin (& maybe izana... maybe......) so he knows they’re alive and well and since he makes draken sleep over anyways draken also knows they’re alive & well.

wakasa, benkei & takeomi call each other at ungodly times of the night n go ‘‘shinichiro is alive, right?’’ ‘‘last time i checked, yes’’ ‘‘good, thanks’’ and then hang up and go to sleep bc they don’t wanna bother shin but sometimes... sometimes there’s just doubt yk

while we’re at it i believe in takeomi being a better brother this time. like he still fucks up sometimes and all that but he genuinly tries and he actually pretty much fixes his relationships with his siblings bc they all learnt from the other timeline (and i want them to be happy okay). not sure if i believe in taiju being a better brother this time...

i’d like to say i’m normal abt this (au version of this) timeline but uh.... uh...... ngl i used to HATE hate the ending and i still don’t like it much but i am slowly starting to like it more but i’m not sure if i should be happy abt that ngl 😭 idk i think i mostly like the characters & some of the new interactions n dynamics, not the actual timeline. bc to me it will always be the final timeline’s biggest fault that basically nobody remembers anything from any of the other timelines bc all of the character development n shit is gone. but oh well

elys my love, hello! it really does feel like forever since we've talked youre righttttt. thank you haha!! my emo bands hyperfixation got so bad to the point of me putting in the effort of changing my theme, can you believe it? ok look, the mizo mid pfp aged like fine wine. still nice, but still aged

yayyyyyy!!! i am indeed very proud tehe. but that seems pretty effective? if it works for the both of you then good job!! yes the reveal of tenjiku!!!!! was screaming and pointing them out to my siblings the whole entire time so real. omg yes thatz good! [will answer that second ask of yours after this bcuz ik it was related to it lol]

STOPPPP THOSE ARE REALLY CUTE AND SAD AT THE SAME TIME I LOVE THEMMMM

big brainers i tell you

hanma :(((((((((

no cuz istg izana's whole death has to be one of the worst in tokyorev. like what did my boy kaku do to deserve this man :((

would be a nice house to live in / visit!

true theyre probably some of the characters that had it the worst ngl. like everyone went through an equal amount of shit with everyone's deaths but the bd's losing shin must've been horrible :(

YES LIVING FOR THE OMI GOOD BROTHER AGENDA this reminded me of that clear shot of him in s2 im gonna cry i love him i love him true i mean im sure he learns along the way tho, i'd hope so.

like the ending of tokyorev??? cuz boyyyy 💀💀 my thoughts on the ending is for another time but fr letz just say the ending wasnt the best thing ever like ong. i mean it was a good ending for the characters and its pretty much what everyone wanted but the way it took place was just not it T T ok but the koko n kisaki agenda is REAL they are so bffs honestly i live laugh love them. yeah nobody remembering what happened was shitty but at least chifuyu remembered? that was a nice detail during the ending ngl

[lightlycareless]

OUGH CHAPTER 33,, this ones RICH theres so much here all of y/ns letters,, i wonder how hinata would feel if she actually got to read them?? not that she'd get through all of them before trying to break in there herself to get y/n out i imagine

NAOAKI,, calling y/n cute straight up now?? we're just straight into it there's no denying anything anymore. full on flirting out there-- good for them. and the GRAPE,, feeding her the grape,, im obsessed. hinata turning naoaki away bc of his resemblance to naoya-- i get why girl but also MAN you are missing out on the sweetest man in the world. n also the possibility of the zenin's getting pissy over hinata and naoaki talking to each other?? they are DERANGED for real its unbelievable.

mariya and tatsuro,,, i really do think she COULD tell hitomi i like to think she'd understand. and also backing herself into a corner w lying about to everyone i just can not imagine that ending well at ALL somewhere down the line

THE BOXES FULL OF RECORDS MY GODDD,,, naoya is going to give y/n a HEART ATTACK. its a thoughtful gesture but she is so (understandably!!) put off anything to do with him she just finds it creepy as fuck. it is so funny tho "there has to be another reason for his actions,, but what,," girl,,, hes trying to be nice for once this is not a murder attempt,,

and the idea that naoya's gonna eventually try to ask how she liked the gift oh MAN-- he's already gonna be torn up beyond belief over that last chapter ending (must be why we don't see him this time he's too busy crying) and to see her respond cold to like... what's probably the first real big thoughtful gift he's tried to get her?? devastating. obliterated.

this chapter is driving me insane and up the walls (in a good way) i am SO ready to see whats coming.. ur setting up for somethin big i know it,,,

Hello!!!! I’m glad you liked the bit of… lore I guess? I don’t know how to call it lol regarding Y/N’s letters! I only went through them briefly, in the aspect of what she must write and what not to keep a low profile, but never really showed what she was writing… and boy, was it sad.

Hinata would be very, very sad. Definitely. She’d first be upset, angry, quickly identifying that her letters are to set up a façade that everything is right, when it’s not. She’ll also be able to find some traces of Y/N being genuine whenever she speaks of the twins or her staff… perhaps. But overall, those clues end up being irrelevant to the fact that Y/N is in danger and needs to be taken out of there as soon as possible.

And her not caring for Naoaki…. Hahahahahah it made me laugh and a bit frustrated tbh, but how is she supposed to know?! yet OMG he's RIGHT THERE.

I did think on various occasions that her acting that way with him might’ve been... reckless, like it could’ve raised some red flags from him and be like “Hinata is acting weird” subsequentially, leading the clan to be further vigilant of her. However, Naoaki doesn’t know what’s up with his clan, and his priority is to help Y/N above anything else so… yeah. I wish she would’ve given him the benefit of the doubt and approached him, doing so on any other occasion I think, when she isn’t there for work and isn’t overworked either lol.

But yeah, she’s tired of all she’s been put through and couldn’t care less of engaging with other people as of right now. To Naoaki’s defense… Hinata didn’t talk to anyone else either, so there’s that 🤭

I’m still surprised the Zen’in weren’t lil bitches about it, they probably didn’t consider their interaction to be that important anyway—since their secrets are safely guarded… at least for now. Kind of. Hinata is still not out of their radar. Hmm. They’re probably thinking on how to not get involved in the crisis since they think so little of non-sorcerers lol.

Now onto Mariya…. I just love causing conflicts with her lmao. You could argue that she’s not doing anything… wrong per se, but man, lies and lack of communication can lead to some pretty terrible misunderstandings and that’s the least of the things I want happening between Y/N’s staff 😭 But essentially Mariya is afraid that speaking out loud of this situation might lead other members of the staff overhearing this, rumors begin to circulate around the house, and she loses her job 💀 It’s not that she doesn’t trust Hitomi, but she’d rather keep it hidden from everyone to avoid these risks. (also, the pain of having disappointed her is too much for her to even contemplate 😭 she cares too much for the sisters, and already gone through something like that with Y/N... no, I can't have her suffering 😭😭)

As for Naoaki… that freaking scene with the grape was like omg…………………………………………………… I wanted to go heavier on the subtle implications, but I was like no ma’am, Y/N pulled away from that one and I don’t think Naoaki would insist after seeing her reject his advancements sooooo maybe for another time 😊 This was also a way to show just how… bold the two had become after the whole Naobito/Naoya/Y/N thing went down, had this been before that, Naoaki would’ve never done something like that.

I can imagine Ranta watching the two from some undisclosed corner frantically hoping that Naoya won’t come out and see them lmao.

Finally… the mystery of whatever Naoya was shoving inside his pocket the chapter before is revealed!

Guess he was listening to what Y/N was telling him, however, for him to suddenly go out and buy them implies another motive behind them… or at least that’s what I intended to write 🤭 Naoya is trying something, to be nicer I guess, but without him taking accountability I don’t think there’s going to be any advancements soon. 😫 He’s still out there having some kind of war with Naoaki, when he should be focusing on Y/N and his marriage!!!!! Well, best wishes to him I guess lol.

Now… I won’t say much outside of that hehe because it will be expanded on the next chapter, it's a Naoya-centric one where we'll see what he was doing while this went down, as well as a bit of—

Anyways, thank you so much for tuning in for a new update!! The build up for the next chapter has me at edge, nervous… but excited too and I can’t wait to show you!!! (let the hype be appropriate) But for now, I shall take it easy, I got my birthday to enjoy (and this annoying cold out of the goddamn nowhere!!! To overcome)

Have a wonderful weekend, take care, and hope to see you soon!!!