#bc it just reminds me of when i was more powerless as a kid and like the way

[girlwithfish]

idkkk like if that's how u wanna raise ur kids to be afraid of u and always worried about how they'll be scrutinized or yelled at and theyll will never view u as a safe figure to be comfortable around do ur Thang but u just pushed me away 4ever tbh

[bhaalsdeepbat]

Unholy Flesh

SFW | AO3 | Baldur’s Gate 3 Word Count: 4,381

Excerpt: It was the killing fate written in the blood of the creatures that sprung from Mercy’s sculpted flesh. The sorcerer flattened their foot against the ground, stilling the rock of the chair. Mercy leaned over in the chair, the nails on their right hand growing unnaturally long and sharp. They ignored the weight of the silver chain wrapped tightly around their wrist as they held their hand out. The tips of two nails pressed against the soft skin of one the throat of one of the sleeping twins. It would have been a mercy to kill them.  It would be a mercy to kill them. A/N: This is the next part of Never Love an Anchor. This chapter just establishes more of what's going on and explores the relationship my Durge has with Astarion while otw to leave the hellspawn pups on someone's doorstep. This is a totally self-indulgent au where I wanted to explore nontraditional family structures bc these two idiots are not raising these kids. CW: Accidental Pregnancy, Cryptic Pregnancy, Traumatic Birth, Gore, Blood, General Durge Shit, and they talk about infanticide but,,,,clearly these babies are making it

The evening was calm. The night air provided a cool comfort against Mercy’s warm cheeks as they waited on the cottage porch. The sorcerer was wrapped in their cloak. Dark, loose tendrils of black fabric on the front draped across their shoulders and around their neck, its warm lining soft against their freckled skin. Mercy was perched in a rocking chair, its wood creaking with each push of their dark boot against the ground. Beside the sorcerer, the twins were swaddled in soft blankets, each in a different color to differentiate the little shits. The wrapping was still messy, the blanket tails tucking out where the vampire spawn and the sorcerer gave up trying to figure out the art of swaddling an infant.

It had been two days since the birth, and Mercy was still struggling to comprehend everything that happened. They had no idea they were even pregnant when Mercy had arrived at the cottage with Astarion. It was meant to be a small break to recuperate from the adventuring that occupied a majority of their time together.

What was meant to be a reprieve quickly turned to shit. 

The sorcerer hadn’t felt well the day they went into labor. They were exhausted, bone tired, and their stomach churned uncomfortably, but Mercy initially brushed it off as one of the many symptoms plaguing them since their addled mind and broken body were toys the Gods played with, then discarded like trash.

Mercy could never forget the fear of having their body taken from their control, but the years put enough distance for the memory to lose some of its edge. Dulled by time and new memories filling the cracks in their addled mind, the birth of the beasts sharpened the echo of their powerlessness to a point and stabbed them deeply in the gut with a goading twist. As their heart ached with the betrayal of their own body’s failure to warn them, they were reminded that they were always meant to be simply a vassal, never quite in control of their own body, let alone their own future. 

The last few years were a taste of true autonomy. Mercy and Astarion had traveled across Faerun, both hungry to see the world once denied to them. They went where they wanted when they wanted, traveling in the cover of darkness without a plan, and without the threat of Bhaal punishing them for straying off his intended path. The couple tried to be heroic, two beasts unleashed, stalking the other monsters of the night who harnessed their own power against the innocent. 

However, Astarion and Mercy were also the chaos in the night, causing brawls in the bustling taverns, robbing unsuspecting patriars stumbling drunk through the streets, and generally lying their way into a free room to hide from the sun in. It was a life lived freely, a life the sorcerer was growing used to, putting distance between themself and their past. 

Mercy was stupid to think their life would ever be fully free of Bhaal’s influence.

The sorcerer’s blood was quiet, free of the compulsion of their blood whispers, but the same intrusive thoughts accompanied their hard won freedom, a reminder that they were sculpted from divine flesh. Mercy could feel Bhaal’s essence taunting them where it lay dormant in the twins. The sorcerer may have escaped his leash, but not the curse of their unholy flesh. Bhaal rescinded his blood inheritance, but it would seem he still had use for Mercy’s body.

The sorcerer watched the infants slumbering in their makeshift crib. Mercy’s eyes narrowed as they lifted a hand to touch the scar marring the right side of their face. They traced the line from the corner of their eye, dipping beneath the blue iris and curving down across their cheek. They couldn’t remember much from before, but they could remember their own twin sister’s face the night their own Urges first stirred. 

Their sister’s necklace - a silver chain holding a ruby the shape of a teardrop - felt heavy where it was wrapped around their right wrist. It was a souvenir from their duel with their sister destined by blood. It was a destiny doomed to repeat, trapping the Bhaalspawn in a vicious cycle of violence and death that would never garner them Bhaal’s favor. 

It was the killing fate written in the blood of the creatures that sprung from Mercy’s sculpted flesh.

The sorcerer flattened their foot against the ground, stilling the rock of the chair. Mercy leaned over in the chair, the nails on their right hand growing unnaturally long and sharp. They ignored the weight of the silver chain wrapped tightly around their wrist as they held their hand out. The tips of two nails pressed against the soft skin of one the throat of one of the sleeping twins. It would have been a mercy to kill them. 

It would be a mercy to kill them. 

Mercy’s jaw clenched as they pulled their hand away, hand returning to normal. They pulled it against their chest, then leaned back in the chair, putting distance between them and the Bhaalspawn.

The memories of the birth were laced with the aroma of life and death, permeating with the heavy scent of blood. Mercy could smell it, as though they were still on the makeshift bed of sheets, bleeding out in front of the dying fire, their wretched brain struggling to stay connected to their suffering body. They were alone. 

They were scared.

As they delivered the first child, the sorcerer screamed and sobbed, a choice with their body once more taken from them. It was an anguish momentarily stifled when they had been sure the little girl, a tiefling with a tail just like Mercy’s, had arrived stillborn. The relief was quickly devoured by the pain and surprise of the twin ready to claw her way into the world. The second girl - more Elf than Tiefling - had the sorcerer’s talons, nails distended into hard, unnatural points. 

There was so much blood.

A firm hand on their shoulder shook Mercy from the grip of their disconnected memories, forcing them back into the body that had failed them, and back into the moment. The sorcerer tensed, electricity sparking in their hand defensively. Their lips turned down into a snarl as they turned their gaze toward the man now standing beside them.

Astarion’s thick brow arched, but he kept the hand on Mercy’s shoulder. He rubbed it with his thumb, soothing out the tension with the familiarity. The sorcerer slowly lowered their raised hackles, relaxing into the comforting touch. They averted their gaze, the blue electricity around their hand discharging with the flashes of three motes of light.

“What are you doing?” Astarion’s voice was level, lacking any of his usual theatrics and laced with exhaustion. Dark circles darkened his tired, sunken eyes. His eyes were dull, lacking the usual light reflecting from his piercing gaze. His angular face was gaunt, the hard lines etched with equal parts concern and frustration that followed him since he found Mercy half dead on the floor of their home.

Worry knitted Mercy’s brows together, chest tightening with shame. They pursed their lips into a tight line, searching his eyes for any sign of judgment, but all they saw was the reflection of themself. The sorcerer quickly averted their gaze.

Astarion sighed as he ran his hand across their shoulder and down their arm, drawing out the contact before he finally pulled away. “I’m not judging you,” he assured them. “I just know you wouldn't be proud of that choice.” 

“Maybe, but we don’t have many other options.” The sorcerer sounded small, their voice deflated to a lower octave. 

It was a conversation they had before, one the two found themselves stuck in whenever Mercy found themself spiraling in their self-doubt. Too much innocent blood stained their tainted hands for them to be useful for anything but spilling more blood. Giving life and raising it was not something suitable for hands skilled and trained in the art of murder. Their Urges were gone, but a part of them still found satisfaction in a good hunt, in feeling the life of someone who deserved it fading beneath their hand. 

However, there weren’t many options for the newborn Bhaalspawn. Leaving them in the care of another would just spell disaster. The thought was accompanied by the image of their own unsuspecting adoptive parents, the young couple’s blood spilled, bodies savaged by Mercy’s adolescent hand, laid out in offering to a God that would never love them.

“There are options, though,” Astarion cut in, the heel of his boot clicked against the wood of the porch flooring as he circled around the sorcerer, then crouched down in front of them. He took their left hand in his own, holding Mercy tightly when the sorcerer refused to meet his gaze.

For a moment, Mercy let him hold their hand, the two sitting in silence as the sorcerer mulled over his words. “I don’t think you realize how slim our options are,” they finally spoke up, pulling their hand away to rest their arms on the rocking chair’s armrests. They kept their gaze lowered for a moment, then finally lifted their bright irises to meet Astarion’s.

“Please,” Astarion dragged out the word, eyes narrowing as his tone sharpened. “Don’t act like I’m being naive. I was picking through slimmer options before you even graced this planet with your presence, my love,” his voice softened, as did his gaze, as the pet name fell from his lips. “I think you’re making this more difficult than it needs to be right now.” 

The sorcerer shrunk beneath the jab. They balled their hands into tight fists and glanced at the sleeping beasties disguised by the innocence of infancy. They remained silent, struggling to put their worries into words. Instead, they turned their wide, uncertain gaze toward Astarion, searching his own for anything to quell the tide of emotions storming inside.

Astarion seemed to understand whatever Mercy left unsaid. He inclined his head, lips pursing as he thought for a moment, then placed his hands on their thighs. He gave the sorcerer a comforting squeeze. “We have a plan. It’s not ideal, but it is a plan.” He paused, eyes glossing over, clearly still distancing himself from whatever fears were making a home in his husk. “Besides. If it doesn’t work out, we can always circle back.”

Mercy watched him closely, still tense, but weighing his words. It was a difficult circumstance he clearly understood, but the hope he had for their flimsy plan had the sorcerer leaning into the comfort he offered. They tugged the sleeves of their cloak down, covering the silver hanging dangerously from their right wrist, before reaching out to cup Astarion's cheeks. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, his cheek cold against the palm of the sorcerer's hand. 

He turned his head to kiss the inside of their palm before pushing himself up onto his feet. "I was being honest when I said I think they deserve a chance. I'm not a monster." Astarion offered Mercy his hand. Once the sorcerer took it, he helped them up onto their feet. "I don't want the little beasts…but they're already here. It'd be different if we had some warning and could…nip it in the bud, so to speak." 

Mercy found reassurance in the admission. They gave his hand a grateful squeeze, communicating their gratitude silently as the sorcerer turned their gaze towards the infants. "Okay…" They nodded to themself, trying to find the resolve needed to move forward. "We should leave soon, then. I don't want to waste time finding you a place to stay before the sun rises."

Astarion twirled two fingers with a playful flourish over to where their bags were packed and waiting outside the entryway. "I'm ready when you are, my love."

Mercy smiled at that, though it faltered when they spoke. "Do you want to carry them?"

Astarion's own expression went cold. "Respectfully, my dear. No. For once, I would rather carry the bags." 

Mercy found themself snickering at him. They covered their mouth with their hand, hiding the smile behind their sleeve. Astarion's own expression seemed to relax as he watched them. The sorcerer found themself clearing their throat, suddenly self-conscious. "Fine. I’ll take…Tail and Talons."

"Tail and- Gods above. They're going to need names," Astarion groaned with annoyance. "Better names. Tail and Talons." He shook his head with faux haughty disapproval as he walked over to their bags and pulled out some fabric to make a wrap with.

"It works. I don't see you coming up with anything better." Mercy shrugged, brow arching with the exasperation seeping into their expression.

“Honestly, it's because I’d rather not,” Astarion cut in with an airy giggle meant to disguise his creeping discomfort. 

"Well, I'm not naming them." They crouched down by the basin the infants were in and collected both in their arms, not afraid to disturb the sleeping beasts. 

Astarion just chuckled, shaking his head as he held the fabric out and began to help the sorcerer secure the twins to their torso. They were a firm, cold weight against Mercy’s body. The sorcerer grimaced, shifting their weight around on their feet uncomfortably.

Astarion watched Mercy closely, focusing his keen perception on the wrap. Once he was satisfied with how secure the twins were, he folded his arms and turned his attention back to Mercy. A smug, half-smirk tugged at one corner of his lips when he met the sorcerer’s gaze. “Cute,” he quipped.

With a soft huff, Mercy rolled their eyes at him. A soft, rosy flush in their pale, blue cheeks betrayed the sorcerer’s feigned annoyance. Astarion snickered to himself as he moved to collect the two hastily packed bags. He slung one over his back before digging through one of the pouches of the other. He pulled out an amulet hanging from a gold chain. He shouldered the second bag, then offered the necklace to his partner.

The pendant was circular with a hinged cover plating the top. Mercy took the enchanted item and popped the top, revealing an interior mechanism shaped like the face of a clock. Instead of numbers, gems in different colors lined the edge of the exposed face of the mechanism. The sorcerer took a claw and gently nudged the hand at the center around, pointing it to the emerald.

“Ready?” Mercy flashed a small smile, flashing their sharp, predatory teeth. 

With a firm nod, Astarion moved closer, fitting himself to his partner’s side. An arm draped loosely around Mercy’s waist. The sorcerer leaned into the touch as they gently closed the cover on the necklace. Rays of a spectrum of green lights glistened playfully from within the mechanism. The light began to extend out in pulses. 

Mercy’s own magic manifested, blue electricity crackling around their body, static adding weight to the air, then discharged out in sparks that raced out and across the property, before eventually diving into the earth. Invisible lines etched beneath the property came to life, Mercy’s magic tracing the inscription until the magic circle was fully alive.

The transportation circle beneath them was bright, its blue light a beacon in the dead of the night. Astarion’s arm tightened around Mercy’s waist, pulling them tighter against him as the magic began to change the scenery around them. The dark forestline rippled, then faded away like water colors. The dark silhouette of the forest was replaced by dull brick buildings and stone walkways. The crisp, sharp scent of Autumn was replaced by the pungent aroma of city life. Baldur’s Gate sprawled out around them, filling the landscape where the forest had filled the endless expanse of the periphery of their world. 

Mercy slipped the necklace around their neck. Astarion moved in tandem, easily becoming an extension of the sorcerer’s body. He gently took Mercy’s braid and guided it over the chain, then let it hang loosely behind the sorcerer. Mercy glanced at him, appreciation apparent in the momentary softness of their expression. It was quick, a moment of comfort, before their eyes narrowed and they steeled themself once more.

The pendant - a gift from Gale shortly after the gathering at Withers’s request - had placed them in front of the Elfsong Tavern. The building stood in its familiarity, almost like it was frozen in time. Ivy still crept along the gutters and draped down the wood and stone. The lively noises of mortals relishing the joys of the night filled the night air.

“Ah. The smell of home,” Astarion commented with a displeased pout, nose wrinkled. His hand twisted in the fabric of Mercy’s cloak, betraying the way his body was tensing.

Mercy patted the hand awkwardly, then settled theirs on top of his own. Mercy interlocked their fingers with Astarion’s. The sorcerer's clawed digits curled, fingertips pressing into the palm of his hand. They gave him the grace of silence, allowing him to feel whatever was beginning to stir within him, and took the lead. With feigned confidence, the sorcerer guided Astarion towards the entrance of the tavern.

Mercy pulled their hand away as they pushed the door open, then slowly pried themself from the arm wrapped around them. When he released the robe, he followed at the sorcerer’s heel. Inside the tavern, the dirtier scents of the city were replaced with the fragrance of spilled mead and stewed meat. A fire roared in a nearby fireplace, chasing away the night air and blanketing the interior in a welcoming warmth. The two caught the stray glances of a few of the tavern patrons, their eyes never lingering long on the infant sleeping against Mercy’s chest once they caught the sorcerer’s expression: a cold glare and slight curl of their lip, baring dangerously sharp teeth.

The tip of Mercy’s tail flicked with frustration as they approached the bar near the back of the building. Behind the bar’s structure, the barkeep was filling a mug with mead from a large barrel behind them. He placed it down on the polished tabletop and slid it across to a large, hardy woman enjoying the evening in solitude. When his gaze met Mercy’s, his eyes lit with recognition and a little bit of fear despite the babies strapped to the sorcerer’s body.

A smirk played at the corner of Mercy’s lips at the thrill of being feared. They sauntered over to the bar, confidence in their gait. “Good. You remember me.” They placed one arm against the bartop and flashed a shark-like smile.

The barkeep stood straight, body tensing. His eyes narrowed until his fearful gaze became a defensive glare. “I thought we were rid of you two.”

Astarion laughed, full bodied and mocking, as he laid both forearms against the bartop and leaned over. “That’s on you for being so hopeful.” He smirked, his crimson eyes shining with vicious playfulness. 

Mercy glanced up at Astarion, locking their gaze with his to read whatever play it was he was about to make. They could see a playful confidence in his dangerous smile, like he was certain he knew what strings to play on the barkeep. They inclined their head, a subtle nod of understanding, before dragging their gaze, slow and deliberate, back to the barkeep. “We need a room,” they stated plainly. 

The barkeep glanced between the two, then down at the infant strapped to the front of Mercy’s torso. The sorcerer’s smile faltered, a scowl threatening to twist their features as they dared the barkeep to say anything. He clearly thought twice, eyes quickly rising to look at Astarion, too afraid to meet Mercy’s gaze. “Fine. T-Two-hundred a night,” he stammered.

Astarion was quick to cut in, ready to take over. Mercy happily obliged, content to sit back and watch as the rogue began to run his mouth. “Two hundred a night for your dear old friends?” 

The barkeep laughed at that, though his voice wavered, confidence only temporarily boosted before he caught sight of Mercy’s cutting glare. He cleared his throat. “Two-hundred a night or find another place to sleep.”

Astarion feigned a scandalized expression. His hand flew up to cover his heart. “You would kick the Hero of Baldur’s Gate to the street? With their newborns?” He was intentionally loud, drawing more attention than necessary, but he knew how to milk a situation for all it was worth. “Have you no heart?”

Mercy could feel Astarion’s smug satisfaction when the barkeep stammered, shrinking under stray glances from suddenly interested patrons. The barkeep glanced between the sorcerer and the rogue, then finally deflated entirely. “Fine. Gods, fine.” He turned to the keys hanging on the wall behind him. He grabbed one, then tossed it onto the counter, a little afraid to get too close to Mercy.

The sorcerer exhaled sharply, nostrils flaring with the force as they snatched up the key. “Next time, just give us the damn key,” they growled. They eyed him for a moment, delighting in the way the barkeep froze, breath caught in his throat. Mercy shook their head, snorting at the man’s pathetic display as they turned away from the bar.

Astarion waved a playful goodbye before turning on his heel and following after his partner. He reached out to grip onto the back of their cloak, keeping close as the two made their way up to the room. The weight of the beasts pressed on either side of Mercy’s being, holding them in the present when the familiar halls began to stir memories of longing, of memories of greatly missed friends and their ironclad bonds forged in the fires of circumstance.

Astarion took the key from Mercy’s hand. He glanced at the number engraved onto it, then moved ahead to guide the sorcerer. He paused outside the room with the matching number; the room that once belonged to Duke Stelmane. “Are you kidding me?” He frowned, glancing between the key and the door.

Mercy bumped his arm with their shoulder, giving him a gentle nudge. “It’s a free room,” they reminded him. “A little death in the air will make us feel more at home. It’ll be fine.” 

A little laugh drifted past the smile parting his pretty lips. Astarion inclined his head as he unlocked the door. “You’re right. Silly me.” He pushed the door open, then moved to allow Mercy to enter first. “Just do me a favor and don’t drink anything you find in the room.” 

“Why? A little poison in my wine could be quite the treat.” The sorcerer passed the threshold quickly, then ventured further into the private room.

The room had been cleaned and mostly refurbished, but returned to what the sorcerer assumed was the room’s prior state. Before Stelmane’s untimely demise. The stench of death that once clung to the floorboards was gone. The bloodstained boards were ripped up, replaced with fresh wood to hide the horrors that happened within those four walls. Mercy stood in the center of the room, a little surprised by how little of Duke Stelmane’s death - and of the life she lived there - remained in the room. 

The click of the door’s lock sliding into place was an aberration in the silence that fell across the room. Mercy turned, attention honing in on Astarion. He was still in his own thoughts, his gaze cast down as he lifted a hand and carded his fingers through his loose curls. The strands straightened with the pull of his fingers, but immediately bounced back into their perfect coils, as though they had been untouched. 

The sorcerer watched in awe, momentarily stricken by his beauty. A moment that quickly faded when they felt Tail begin to stir. Mercy’s heart stopped, gaze falling down to the little girl resting against their chest. The twins had slept through the last two days, their bodies more like little corpses than newborns. Neither of the twins had opened their eyes once since they were born. It was creepy, but Mercy was appreciative of the peace that came with the beasts’ unnatural slumber.

The sorcerer exhaled their relief when Tail fell still. Mercy’s shoulders slumped under the weight of the children hanging from them. “Fuck…that was close.” They rolled their neck, then turned their attention back to Astarion.

Astarion was watching just as closely, only relaxing when Mercy caught his gaze. He dropped both bags to the ground. “Well, then…” He pursed his lips with a brief pause. “Would you like to get some rest before sunrise?”

“No. I can’t wait until sunrise.” Mercy’s brows furrowed, restlessness creeping under their skin as they looked down at the sleeping Tail. The sorcerer couldn’t wait any longer. Two days with their thoughts had been enough and they were ready to pounce into action.

Astarion blinked slowly, a little rattled by what he couldn’t decide was fearlessness or stupidity. “May I suggest not waking an owlbear while it's sleeping?”

“You may, but I’m not guaranteed to consider the input.” Mercy extended out a hand with their palm facing up. “The key.”

Stupidity, Astarion decided with a pause, then produced the key from his pocket. He curled his fingers around theiron, holding it against his palm as he set his closed knuckles against Mercy’s outstretched hand. 

“If you’re going to be impatient, I am coming along.” He released the key, then moved to press his palm flat against Mercy’s. He laced their fingers together. “Better odds for you if she has two targets of her ire.” 

“Fine.” Mercy sighed, but acquiesced. They leaned over, giving the back of his hand a quick, grateful kiss, then turned their hands over so the weight of the key fell into Astarion’s palm. The sorcerer withdrew their empty hand, arm falling to relax at their side. “If you’re joining me, make yourself useful and take Talons.”

“Ugh.” Astarion’s face scrunched dramatically with his visible discomfort. Despite the theatrics, he wasted no time circling around his partner. He carefully unwrapped the child anchored to Mercy’s back, lifting the small waist and cradling it awkwardly against his chest. He kept his mirthless gaze on the sorcerer. “Jaheira is not going to be happy about this.”

[youremyheaven]

girl your moon post was so accurate for me too! my father has rohini rising and is such a narcissist and a master at gaslighting. he resorted to manipulating ppl's perspective of me ig so they wouldn't believe me when i started calling him out after a liiiifetime of his crap. he is extremely two faced and a lot of ppl find him really sketchy, but those he manages to fool he fools really well. the only positives of this is that at least i can see these patterns in people easily. frankly, confronting a liar is so taxing bc even if you do manage to outsmart them they'll just make some excuse. like girl. i also know this hasta moon girl that is a pathological liar and every time i see her i just can't take anything she says seriously bc i just always feel like she's lying out of her ass ab the most menial stuff. her family has had issues w her bc she skipped school for months and no one knew ab it bc she would tell such bold lies like, "call my teacher. here, have the phone so you can talk to her ab my grades" and everyone was like, ig she's doing well in school otherwise she wouldn't offer to call? i genuinely worry thinking ab what if i have a kid and they have a moon nakshatra and express it negatively like this omg i'll go crazy. anyways thank you for your post it was so interesting to see such thoroughly explained examples 🤍 it reminded me of ariana grande as well who just seems so shamelessly manipulative to me too. like when she's like "for total transparency i'll say that..." i'm immediately like ok. so you're lying 😂

im glad 😭😭😭that my Moon post resonated with so many of you, it means so much to me

Im so sorry about your father. I agree with what you said about confronting liars, I confronted someone about something deeply hurtful that they said to me and they literally said "i don't remember" 😭😭 idk how these people sleep at night bro like do they not have a conscience??

I'm happy every time some shady person is exposed in the media, including Ariana who I've found sus for yearsss ,, it's so hard to be an intuitive bc u can't even explain why u feel the way u do so no one believes you when u say that somebody is not what they seem on the outside, u get torn apart for speaking the truth but sooner or later the truth will be seen and will be heard and I truly believe that.

I hope you remain protected from abuse of all kinds in the future and always surrounded by kindness and support. 💛💛

GIRLIEEE what u said about kids is sooo 😭😭I do think about that from time to time but i believe that kids are a manifestation of our karma so the more we focus on bettering ourselves and thereby bettering our actions, we can design our lives to be drama free. What kind of children we have depends on what kind of parents we're capable of being (and you are completely in control of how you behave/treat others) so don't feel too powerless about ur future kids!!! Focus on yourself and your healing and the rest will flow💛💛💛 also if you believe in manifestation 👀just believe that you'll manifest healthy and wonderful children

This blog is a hobby of mine but what makes all my research and writing meaningful is the fact that not only do I get to learn more about astrology, I get to reach people who perhaps might benefit from the things I share. I love to hear about your guys experiences related to the things I post bc sometimes I genuinely wonder like is anyone even reading my 5k words slander on a nakshatra lmfao

Thank you so much for taking the time to tell me about your experiences, I appreciate it so much 💛and i believe many others will also feel seen

[sp00ky9]

Black butler rant bc I just reread up to volume 31 in the span of 4 days because of the new anime announcement:

Ciels character

Ok so Ciel has always perplexed me because of the way he acts— cold and yet there are glimpses of a sort of compassion sprinkled throughout the series. I like to think of his character as almost a split between two people— the traumatized child who was tortured and had his brother killed in front of him and then the kid he used to be/almost wishes he was.

He’s constantly pushing others away (usually in a pretty harsh way) because I would assume that he doesn’t want to get hurt as all the people he cared about ended up dead. Obvs he doesn’t want that to happen to the people he knows now. I feel like this is the only way he knows how to care about people— by pushing them away (paradox but his whole character is to me LOL) I also think it’s from the guilt of not being able to save his brother (r!Ciel) that he wraps himself up in this cruel persona and plays the part of a heartless earl— he wants people to see him this way because it’s easy. It’s easy to push people away and not form meaningful relationships. It’s easier to be cold than compassionate.

It’s ironic that the only person he’s really honest with is Sebastian, but even then I think Sebastian’s very presence reminds o!Ciel of the brother that he sacrificed (though I think it’s more of survivors guilt as the cult was responsible for his death) and it hurts him. How could it not?

In some of the recent chapters I think his persona is really highlighted as he declares himself to be the true “Ciel phantomhive” as he took on the name from his brother and accomplished things using that name that his real name probably would never have afforded him. He put in the work under that name, and it was all swept out from under him (hence the anger). As the weak and sickly brother he would have never really been seen as the earl, only a stand in for the true heir, r!ciel. This is why he took on his brothers name I think. Both to carry on his brothers legacy as well as to assert himself as someone who, despite his “sickly” nature, was not just a spare.

However despite all his cruelty, o!Ciel is still just a kid. In fact, in some ways I think he’s the same as before he got kidnapped. I think this is highlighted in the fact that he started his toy company— which had been his dream as the second son of the earl. Because he took on the responsibilities of his brother his dream could come true, albeit under different circumstances. This act in itself shows a glimpse of the kid he used to be.

Of course, this is also seen during the green witch arc when he won’t let anyone but finny near him. The green witch arc is one of my absolute favs bc it shows part of ciels motivation as well as more defines ciels and seb’s relationship. I love how he says that “I did this for me!” during his fight towards sanity, which shows selfishness. However I think that yes, his motivation for killing is somewhat self centered (he is tired of being the spare, tired of being powerless)but I think there is more layers to it. I think he is trying to convince himself that his motivation for revenge is centered in his own self. He wants to get revenge because he feels guilty that he could not save anyone, not even his brother. So he’s “doing it for himself” — as in he really just wants /his/ guilt to go away.

His selfishness is absolute and yet he is constantly taking in and taking care of others despite his whole cold guy act. I think he denies himself the trust in those relationships due to his guilt/past. I think this is especially shown when Agni dies and he kind of has a break down where he tells soma that they should have never gotten involved with him. However I find that these words show that he truly does care about those around him to an extent.

Anyways this was all written around 1am after finishing volume 31 and I just have. Thoughts. Anyways ciel still confuses me somewhat so I might add on to this rant later LOL.

[drabbles-of-writing]

Idea: Hunter 100% used too go and talk too Eda in disguise so they could talk about wild magic for learnings sake , but it eventually just became casual talks and a very parental friendly relationship.

When hunter got promoted to golden guard he broke contact but he still misses those talks.

I'm sure this ask was in relation to a post at some point, but it's been so long that I Do Not remember which one. however, this idea still intrigues me!

I'm imagining a little baby Hunter hearing about the Owl Lady and her use of wild magic, and thinking that maybe she could help! maybe she'll know something! it takes a while and some hyping himself up, but he eventually makes it to her house with some crude mask and disguise. almost immediately gets caught by Hooty, and skitters off when Eda tells Hooty to let go of him before they can talk.

he eventually finds her hiding out from the guards in a dark alley once and walked up to her in his disguise, and she panics for a moment thinking he's gonna sell her out, but itty bitty Hunter just asks how she does wild magic. Eda just stares blankly at this kid but eventually scribbles something down on a piece of paper before dipping out.

Hunter ends up finding her a few more times out in the wild and Eda recognizes his squeaky kid voice and messy disguises. shes confused as all hell, but, hey, its a kid that wants to know more about wild magic. she may as well tell him what she knows. this has wound up in her telling him a bunch of dangerous spells he attempted to try out and wound up setting a tapestry on fire.

Eda nicknamed him the Wild Kid, and King, being a jealous little kid, was never a fan of him, but didn't do much more than complain. Hunter even showed up at the Owl House once or twice, and Eda made sure to tell Hooty not to attack the kid so she could talk to him outside. Hunter still refused to go into the Owl House.

it always started out about magic and little trickshows Eda would show him because, hey, she was bored, and the kid hadn't ratted on her yet. she also never saw the kid with any parents, so she was lowkey concerned that he didn't have any. but eventually their talks became less-magic based as they wore on, and though they were always lessons, they talked about things besides that. small talk, if you will. Hunter was used to people either looking down on him for being a powerless kid, or treating him with a stiff amount of respect because he was Belos's favorite kid (& secret nephew), and Eda just treated him like. a kid she knew. it was nice. Eda also appreciated someone who genuinely wanted to learn about magic and wasn't afraid to snark back at her bc she was the Owl Lady. it was a nice setup, even if they only got to talk like. once or twice a month.

and then Hunter got promoted to the Golden Guard. he didn't have the time, or ability, to visit Eda anymore. left without a note, just popped off the face of the earth as he went full-force into his new job to make Belos proud. Eda eventually got worried for the Wild Kid and went looking for him, but couldn't find him anywhere. chose to believe that the kid left to another city instead of the much implication that he died somewhere. she misses him sometimes, and was reminded somewhat of him when she took Luz in. Hunter is just grateful he isn't tasked with hunting down the Owl Lady. he has complicated feelings about the whole ordeal, and chooses not to dwell on it. sometimes, Eda swears the Golden Guard's voice sounds similar.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. Are death gods like a class lower than Olympian gods? Minthe says that Hades can buy all the suits in the world and still stink of death and Apollo refers to Thanatos as Poor Man’s Heremes and also reeks of death. Do they smell bad, or do people just hate them for existing? You’d think they’d be a little more fear controlling death/underworld

2. for the person saying "come on, persephone being a self insert isn't bad" completely misses the point.  As a young writer I used to have self inserts until I realized that my favoritism overshadowed the narrative and didn't allow for my characters to experience consequences or be in the wrong.  This is how creator's pets get made, and no one likes those because they ruin the story and take away attention from other (more interesting) characters!  (1/2) 

We are clearly seeing this in LO.  Persephone is essentially a perfect little goddess who keeps getting powers, is probably going to be revealed as one of the strongest goddesses, and her issues (sans the two giant ones we know what it is) almost never personally affect her.  No one gets angry at her in a meaningful way unless the narrative wants us to demonize them, and when they suddenly "see the light" and go to her side, they're rewarded!  THAT'S why persephone as a S.I is bad

3. Ok. I think Daphene and Thanatos are the best ship. I would read this story...also,Thanatos is the grim reaper...how metal would be if he take down LO Apollo and LO Hades? Yes, I'm aware this would be impossible in the.original myths but HEY why not? RS is not caring for the source material

4. RS’s writing is such a mess of contradictions between actuality and intent it’s hilarious: 1) Hades is supposed to be seen as a good guy yet is portrayed as a tyrant who somehow still manages to be a Gary Stu. 2) Persephone is simultaneously overpowered (fertility goddess powers) and powerless (is just a college kid) to the point where she’s viewed as a spoiled rich brat living consequence-free and destitute young woman left with no options but to marry to get out of trouble 

3) Artemis is supposed to represent a separatist feminist yet is depicted as foolish, British and out of the loop for humorous effect by the poss poor excuse of a comic which calls itself ‘a feminist feeling’. 4) The lack of time skips coupled with RS’s need to give HxP as many ‘cute’ moments as possible makes the comic’s progress feel slow for the reader when it’s actually progressing at breakneck speed if you go by the character’s timeframe. 

5) Wants to treat SA with nuance and sensitivity (RS almost manages to do it at first) but then uses Persephone’s rape as trauma porn, a means for pushing her closer to Hades while reminding the reader of his differences from Apollo and a means of furthering the side plots (Artemis’s descent into depressed confusion, Eros and Psyche’s romance, Hera’s quest to get the mains together).

5. i genuinely do not want to see whatever reason rachel thinks up to have zeus and demeter not like each other because it's either going to be a "shock" incest twist (unlikely) or it's going to be something akin to how she made apollo to persephone and maybe zeus stole her "fertility" and thats why she couldnt have persephone naturally and why demeter isnt a fertility goddess but persephone is. like no writing choice is good in this so i guess brace for the worst from her in this regard.

6. i honestly get sad looking at old LO art because not only is all the charm gone, but the colors also got way worse. hades used to be this subdued, rich dark blue with icy blue hair while persephone was a nice shade of pastel pink with magenta hair, but now theyre all one shade of neon. there used to be choices put into the art but now its just lazy. like hades looks like a blue highlighter, and persephone like her personality is only one nauseatingly bright shade and thats it 😞

7. i feel like if at least the writing in LO was good the art would excusable, you know what i mean? and the same can be said in reverse, but both are just so bad (or was never good to begin with) that it just seems inexcusable? like at least put effort into one, not half assing at best for both.

8. i mean for all we know bc thats how how psyche normally looks the braids are just a nymph disguise that basically pops away once shes human looking again. regardless the whole thing is nasty once you think about it and idk what we expected from a white woman to begin with. she thinks persephone revolving her whole world and being dependent on hades is feminist and making a canon bi god a r//pist is groundbreaking too like ....

9. lets add to the psyche is black-coded discourse: anyone want to mention how nasty it is she was literally sold off to a WHITE MAN for eros to save her from (ignoring the fact he proceeded to lie to her while having a sexual relationship), made her loving parents into abusive assholes, and psyche just happens to be the only character who is illiterate despite being a princess? the whole thing reeks of internalized racism on rachel's part, and her now giving her braids kinda makes it worse, tbh. 

-----FP Spoilers-----

10. Is it me? Or in the fast past episode were they showed one of the muses Polymnia (or Polyhymnia)  they mixed her with Clio??? Because Zeus calls her "the goddess/muse of history" but Polymnia is acutally the muse of hymns, CLIO is the muse of history, how did they get that wrong? Her name literally means "a lot of hymns"! And why is there a muse in this??? Even she says that she shouldn't be there because she doesn't work in anything similar to law, did Zeus really asked her to make a POEM in a TRAIAL??? For what exactly? Make Persephone look bad?

[kn1feinthec0ffee]

new team - shoyo hinata

shoyo hinata x fem!reader

summary: you teach hinata some skills in middle school and to pay you back, he guarantees you a spot on the karasuno volleyball team.

warnings: NONE VERY FLUFFY

word count: 1,737

notes: i rlly rlly liked writing this bc i love my boy hinata and this just flowed so naturally and i’m rlly proud of it :’)

i also usually write gender neutral reader bc i’m nb and i wanna cater to as many ppl as possible and make them feel valid, but it was kinda necessary to the story for reader to be fem in this one

********************

after setting a ball to your friend, you noticed a short boy by himself in the corner of the gym with bright orange hair, setting and receiving against the wall. you made your way over to him, observing that he actually wasn’t too bad.

“oi, redhead,” you called out playfully. he turned around with a look of confusion on his face, as if to say ‘me?’ “yeah you. i couldn’t help but notice you’re playing all by your lonesome over here. any particular reason for that?”

his cheeks tinged pink at the callout, but he responded nonetheless. “w-well there’s not enough boys for the school to create a boys volleyball club, so i’m trying to get as many hours of practice in at school as i can.”

you nodded in recognition of his situation. “well, sorry to say you won’t get very far if the wall is your only opponent. but you’re certainly welcome to practice with me when my practice is over. if you’re interested, of course.”

“woah, really? you’d do that for me?” he asked in astonishment, eyes going wide as saucers.

“of course i would. i may not know much about you, but i can tell you have a passion for the sport, and it’d be a real shame for that to fizzle out,” you smiled genuinely. “i’ll help you practice...”

it took him a moment to realize you were waiting for his name. “oh! hinata! shoyo hinata.” he introduced.

“well shoyo hinata, i’m y/n l/n and i look forward to practicing with you.” you grinned. a whistle blew behind you, pulling you from your conversation with the boy. “sorry, i’ll see you later!”

sure enough, you found him waiting out by the baseball field, spinning a volleyball in his palm. after a short while of practicing, you realized you had underestimated this kid and the power he can pack in his spikes. it was clear he needed to improve in his receives, but he was in remarkably good shape for playing against a wall every week.

the two of you quickly became good friends, shoyo becoming your number one supporter - aside from your parents, of course. he attended all your games, cheering obnoxiously loud when it was your turn to serve.

over the summer from 8th to 9th grade however, the two of you didn’t see each other nearly as often as you used to. you had to admit it made you sad; the sweet redheaded boy had carved a special spot in your heart and you missed him dearly.

you attended karasuno high school, hoping to join the girls volleyball club and make some new friends. upon examining the club applications, much to your dismay, it appeared that such a club didn’t exist.

volleyball was your passion, and it hurt that you had no way of pursuing it anymore.

hanging your head in defeat and crumpling up the paper, you heard footsteps approaching rapidly from in front of you. before you could look up, a body suddenly collided with you, nearly knocking you over with the momentum they had built up.

“y/n!” a familiar voice cried out. you quickly realized the voice belonged to hinata, who’s arms were currently wrapped around you.

“hinata! i can’t believe you go to school here! i’ve missed you so much!” you squealed, hugging him back.

he pulled away, a look of surprise on his face. “are you kidding? i can’t believe you go to school here! you oughta be wherever the best girls volleyball club is! speaking of that, have you joined yet?”

you glanced down to the crumpled paper that still pressed against your palm. “well that’s the thing, it’s not even a choice on the club application form. unfortunately, i don’t think karasuno has one.”

shoyo gasped dramatically, jaw falling open in shock. “so what are you gonna do? you can’t just not play anymore, you’re so good!”

you smiled at the compliment from the boy, but your expression grew sadder. “thanks, shoyo, but i’m not sure what i can do. this seems like it’s out of my hands.”

a look of determination painted his features as he grabbed you by the shoulders. “no, i’m not gonna let this happen to you. don’t worry, y/n, i’ll find a way for you to play.”

he ran off, leaving you alone with your thoughts in the deserted hallway.

despite having absolutely no idea what he was planning, you trusted the boy. you knew he had your best interests at heart and would do anything to help you succeed, and you adored him for that. you just hoped whatever method he had to allow you to play wasn’t too embarrassing for you; you weren’t too keen on begging some team to let you play for them, but you had a feeling hinata’s plan wouldn’t involve that.

——————————

“please?” hinata begged.

“a girl? join the team? i don’t know hinata, you’d have to run it by the coach.” daichi uttered hesitantly.

“but you’re the captain, daichi, you have the final say!” he reminded him.

daichi sighed. “yeah, you’re right. what’s so special about this girl?”

he watched as hinata’s eyes lit up in excitement when he spoke about her. “well she was the setter in middle school, but that was only because no one else was good enough to play that position. she’s really versatile and she taught me practically everything i know about spiking! she’s also got some mean overhand serving skills; she’d be a great addition to the team! please, daichi, pretty please?”

he looked down at the boy to see him glancing up with a pair of puppy eyes, intent on winning him over. daichi felt he was powerless to do anything but give in, though his description of you did sound pretty great if he was being honest.

“alright, i’ll talk to the coach and see what he thinks. bring her to our next practice and introduce her to everyone.” he said, not missing the bright grin that donned the redhead’s face at his words.

“thank you so much, sir! you won’t regret it, i promise!” he ran back towards the basket of balls to practice serving once more.

——————————

“where are you taking me, shoyo?” you muttered. “can you take your hands off yet?”

he had cornered you back in the main building, insisting you accompany him to some unknown destination he had in mind. since then, he had been walking directly behind you, his hands covering your eyes.

“i’ll show you...” he waited until you took a few more steps. “now!”

you blinked your eyes open to find yourself outside of the gym building. “the gym? what are we doing here, hinata?”

you turned to him and he grinned. “volleyball practice is about to start.”

“volleyball - as in boys volleyball? what am i doing here? am i here to watch you practice?”

he donned a soft smile at your confusion. “no, you’re gonna practice.”

your eyes widened. “i am? i don’t even have any athletic clothes, shoyo, i just have my uniform!”

“i wouldn’t worry too much about that today,” he pushed you towards the doors. “i’ll just be introducing you to everyone today.”

“introducing...? what is going on here, hinata?” you questioned. he pushed the door open to reveal a large group of mostly tall boys, all staring down at you.

most of them looked friendly and approachable, but several of them looked rather intimidating. “everyone, this is y/n. y/n, this is your new team.” shoyo announced.

you gasped, turning towards hinata. “m-my new team? you got me a spot on the team?”

the look of gratitude in your eyes had him blushing a bright pink and he scratched the back of his head nervously. “it was nothing, really. y-”

he was cut off as you hugged him tightly, thanking him for allowing you to continue the sport you loved. “you don’t have to thank me, it’s not a huge deal or anything.”

“are you kidding? it’s a huge deal! i can’t believe you did this for me!” your smile nearly reached your ears.

he walked you around the gym, introducing you to his teammates. sugawara and asahi were incredibly sweet, even offering to set you a few balls to test your spiking abilities, though you declined since you were still wearing a skirt.

the intimidating one you saw earlier - tsukkishima, you had learned - was not as sweet as the others you had met and seemed rather distant, though you hoped that would fade as you got to know him.

tanaka and nishinoya were full of energy and practically gushing over you even though they hadn’t yet witnessed your abilities.

the one shoyo introduced as kageyama shot you a nasty glare. “what position did you play?”

“setter,” you murmured, slightly on edge from the look of intensity in his eyes. that intensity morphed into fury after your words, intimidating you further.

you quickly remembered this was the incredible setter hinata had mentioned several times before. “o-oh! don’t worry, i don’t plan on taking your spot or anything, i’m sure you’re far better than i am!”

“good.” you smiled at him nervously. “if you’re good enough, maybe i’ll send you a couple sets.”

and of course you met daichi, the captain to whom you owed your spot on this team. he was very friendly and personable and you suspected he was the type to give inspirational speeches before games.

kageyama pulled hinata aside, practicing quick attacks with him, leaving you with daichi.

“hinata talks about you quite a bit, y’know,” daichi murmured, catching your attention.

“he does?” you queried. “all good things, i hope.”

the captain smiled down at you. “he speaks very highly about you and your skills. i think he’s got a bit of a bias since you taught him what he knows, but i don’t doubt you’ll really prove yourself on the court.”

your eyes went wide at the faith he already had in you, despite never seeing you play. “thank you, daichi, that really means a lot.”

the boys divided themselves into teams, starting a practice match as you and daichi observed from the sidelines. your eyes found hinata in the back row, who gave you a wide grin and a wave.

you waved back, your heart warming at the gesture. you had only just met the boys, but you couldn’t wait for the next practice.

********************

i might make this a series? maybe?? maybe not?? idk but let me know what u think :D

tags: @aestosia​ @elysianslove​

not working: @akaashis-keiji @bloodydestiney 

[maschotch]

I have such complicated feelings about Derek this whole episode ughhhh

For one, he went through something ridiculously traumatic and most of the team cared more about how he treated them than how he felt. He obviously went through something horrifically traumatic, on the verge of being killed and watching two people die in front of him while he was powerless, that's fucking awful even with no context of the trauma he had connected to it. I feel like that would be obvious to most people, especially profilers and just grown ass adults who have trauma from viewing deaths themselves

Especially buck wild that Penelope wouldn't be more empathetic towards him, not just because of their relationship but because he LITERALLY SPENT ALL OF THE TIME TWO EPISODES AGO COMFORTING HER BECAUSE SHE WAS BREAKING DOWN AFTER SEEING SOMEONE BE MURDERED and it wasn't even someone she knew. Yes, he's a profiler and views these things more and would naturally react less extremely than her, and yes I guess he shouldn't have yelled at her, but like come on its weird to me she responds the way she does in light of how he treats her in the same situation during exit wounds

On the other hand, some of the team empathizes with him. Emily definitely does the best, and Rossi doesn't hurt as much, but hotch definitely tried to help in his own stand-offish way because he knew Morgan wouldn't respond well to confrontation. And he has to take his frustrations out on him even when he's just trying to help

Yeah Morgan did his paper work but I don't see how outside of that the team was expressly "there for him" when Hailey died. I get he's passionate but it seems so fucked up that he would throw that experience back in hotchs face to get what he wants, especially putting the teams behavior towards him after foyet on a pedestal when in reality while they tried to not hurt him, i wouldn't say any of them really had his back, especially when Derek was the one openly criticizing him the whole time and arguing with him

It's also not fair to compare hotch killing foyet to Derek killing Flynn in my opinion. I think Derek compares it like it's the same situation, but I honestly think it was kind of fucked up for Derek to kill him? Hotch was angry when he killed foyet, but i truly believe he did it because he knew if foyet got back up he wouldn't stop until he killed Jack. I don't think Flynn threatened dereks life at all. He was just pissed and wanted revenge on him, which is not the same. Also the fact foyett killed hotchs first love and long-term wife while Flynn killed a detective and his sister that Derek had met like a week ago lol

there's just something a little gross to me about the show trying to make it seem like morgan has to much to apologize for when he hasn't dont anything wrong, or at least not anything that isnt understandable. bc yeah kajsdhg jhe just went through a fucking trauma... he watched a dad get murdered in front of his daughter (the same shit that happened to him when he was a kid) and now the killer's taken the kid and who knows how long she has before she's killed. akjsdhlg seems a little stressful lmao makes sense that he'd be a little snippy.

but nooo instead lets make light of the situation and laugh about how he's upset. or in the company episode lets yell at him for being selfish and remind him that he's entirely responsible for finding his cousin. or in exit wounds when he's just trying to find out if garcia saw anything important, he's actually completely out of line and being totally inappropriate by... asking her question s

penelope reid and jj all act like he's being completely ridiculous and ignroing the shit he went through like a couple hours ago. hotch and emily at least seem a little more empathetic, which is nice, but considering that morgan's closer w penelope reid and jj it seems particularly fucked up that they're the ones who don't seem to give a shit about him or his feelings. especially since he's so attentive to their mental wellbeing.

i agree that morgan crossed a line when he threw the foyet thing in hotch's face, but truthfully i'm not that surprised. considering how morgan acted during that whole thing, it makes sense to me that he'd be insensitive about it. morgan was the one who was openly antagonistic towards hotch during foyet: questioning every decision, doubting every action, etc. and i think its suuuuuper interesting that morgan sees nothing wrong w the way he handled that. especially bc we know he's capable of being supportive (even in cases where the person is being an idiot about it, like reid in memoriam), its fascinating that morgan can look back on how he treated hotch and say that he had his back. like... if that was morgan being supportive, it makes me wonder what morgan actually wanted to do in that situation

morgan killing flynn and hotch killing foyet aren't the same at all.... but there's so much different about both situations that idek if you could even really compare them. foyet was an unsub whose personal mission was to make hotch as miserable as possible; flynn wasn't after morgan at all, even in the end. foyet said "i surrender" and hotch continued to beat him to death w his bare hands; morgan said "if you point your gun at them (the hostages) i'll kill you" and flynn raised his gun and morgan shot. hotch knew that there was no convincing foyet to stop; morgan didnt even try, even when flynn was having a change of heart. foyet wanted to see what hotch would do, how far hotch would go, what hotch was capable of; flynn wanted to die and knew morgan would kill him. i dont think morgan killing flynn was as emotional or dramatic as hotch killing foyet, but i dont think it was as justified either

overall, i just dont think this episode was written well. it was suppposed to be a morgan ep, but it was more about some random white guy. nearly everyone belittled morgan the whole time and the most compelling part of the ep was this little girl taking on this guy by herself (which then they completely ignored so jj could have her stupid little speech). jakshflkad i dont usually like criminal minds two parters/finales anyway, so idk if i like this more or less than the others, but theyre definitely episodes i typically skip on a rewatch

[flerkenkiddingme]

Okay, so I just now figured out that your icon is Ta Min. So... Ta Min headcanons?

every time i reblog a headcanon ask post i silently hope someone asks about her bc she's got a big part in a wip i'm doing, and you, mari, have now helped me cement my brand as the sole writer who acknowledges her existence. so thank you, and buckle up.

The realistic headcanon: Growing up, Ta Min idolized Kyoshi (it may or may not have been a straight up crush, still kinda deciding whether that's weird or not) and had a childhood dream of becoming a Kyoshi Warrior. Her home life was kind of shitty, so the idea of ditching the country and restarting life on an island as a member of an elite nonbending fighting squad was her perfect life. So when Roku had to stop his training and go somewhere he couldn't be found for spoilery reasons, she parked her stubborn ass on Gyatso's bison and said they would not be leaving without her. But later on, when they did get to meet some Kyoshi Warriors, their leader was very interested in her skills, but by that time she'd decided staying with her friends was more important.

The unrealistic but hilarious headcanon: I figure that Ta Min had to have met Sozin before, but I like to think they hated each other's guts. Every interaction of theirs at an important event ended up looking like those moments between Captain Holt and Lieutenant Wuntch in Brooklyn 9-9. Which means formal but incredibly snarky. Roku had asked that she be granted diplomatic immunity, and she just milked that excuse dry to spite Sozin. She'd get busted for protesting against the colonization decree and just whip out her contract and be like "it says I can't do this and this but nothing about this, and technically I was actually doing this." She could loophole her way out of anything until Sozin got so fed up he removed her immunity after Roku's death.

The soul-crushing headcanon: I said before that Ta Min's childhood was pretty awful. Being the single nonbender from a line of Fire Sages dating back to early Era of Kyoshi will do that to a person. The Sages from her family had a belief that having a child that was not a firebender was a sign that the parents' spiritual connection was weak, and her parents acted like it was her fault. One day when she was young, she went into the Fire Sages' library and took out books on all kinds of spirits and everything related to them to prove to them and to herself that she wasn't powerless. When it didn't help that much, she decided she would try and enter the Spirit World. Once she met Gyatso, they started to make progress on it, which would come in handy later on.

The "fuck canon" headcanon: Ta Min's very last "student" of sorts, was Piandao. Back then, he was a scrappy seven-year-old nonbending kid running from some mean kids from his school, and her daughter saw he had gotten hurt and brought him over. She would have been too old to have actually dueled him, so she left that to her daughter. But all the trials Piandao did with Sokka, she handled those. He came to think of her as a grandmother figure. She could be a little cranky, but he was the first person since Aang disappeared that she felt she could trust again. He studied under her and her daughter for six years until she passed away. We know what he did after that, and I feel like after he taught Sokka and Zuko, they would do or say things that reminded him of his own masters.

thank you for the reply!! sorry about the length, these tend to get long due to bottling up my plans lmao

[guu]

This will be long and purely for ppl concerned abt my situation who dont already know it. It gets a bit graphic; it is abt abuse afterall

alright, so i feel like for any curious parties i should go ahead and air out my personal laundry regarding my living situation, ya kno, since i’ve already had people telling me i should have just murdered my partner by now,

and i’ve had so-called concerned asks abt my kids in the past that any actual asks in good faith i’m instantly paranoid of (ex: so why do you willingly (yes, willingly) keep your kids in an abusive household) *before i was able to start amassing funds and making solid plans to get us out of here.

abuse looks different everywhere. i can see why people would wonder of the state of my children. i’m not saying “harhar well my situation aint THAT bad i mean he’s not a drunkard beating us on the regular” no no, i am a broken man.

like, mentally and emotionally.

but first, to my sweet children. xander and leon, going on 10 and 2 respectively. i bat heads with charles (my partner) when the need arises to keep them safe physically, emotionally, and mentally. perhaps i’ve been more battered because of, but i can take it for them. so no, i haven’t been a wimp who simply hasn’t learned karate to protect us (wtf? yes i was told that)

xander is a lively and enthusiastic kid, very empathetic and funny. he loves school, undertale, baldi’s basics, animal crossing, writing stories, making art, playing with his lil sibling, you name it. he’s inspiring. and yes, he loves his father very much.

previously when it seemed i would be able to get us in to live with my mom, unbeknownst that her situation wouldn’t allow for it, and she simply told me far too late bc she didn’t wanna hurt me. xander made it very clear he didn’t want us to split. he cried. he would ask not to talk about the subject.

all this has put indecision in me. i mean, he would be hurt, even if i could explain why it needs to be done. but staying with charles hurts him, in ways i don’t think he understands bc no, his spirit remains shining, unbroken. and i’m thankful for that and want to keep things that way.

at some point when he was younger i’d found out that charles had decided suddenly that xander was old enough to spank. he has it pretty solid in his mind that some level of physical discipline is needed to avoid “what happened with (me)” ie, my parents “spoiling” me. (even tho my actual at one point drunken bastard dad spanked me and it didn’t help.

i had to actually link him to articles on why, no, hitting ur kids isn’t doing what u want it to do, and could even do the opposite, but above all else tf is wrong with u? stop it, and hammer it in at every turn to chip him down till he finally agreed to stop.

i breathed a sigh of relief, now leon would be spared that once the bastard decided they were old enough.

that’s that part outta the way. as for me physically it doesn’t happen anymore but i have been smacked, punched in the stomach, choked, thrown down, raped at gunpoint, and put into submission holds.

he’s still a felon for one of those!

presently, he’s mostly just a fucking grump and a constant downer, a stressor on me greatly. he’s out of work and still sits on his ass playing video games making me do everything. bc he gaslights me that i put it upon myself to do everything bc i “dont like the way he does it” which is either far far too late or not at all unless i remind him 50 times, which ofc pisses him off and makes me a nag.

he’s cheated on me, repeatedly flirted with women, forced me off HRT and i’m currently pretending not to be a man to keep the peace, as he has stated he’s straight and could not continue to love me if i kept on my transition.

i’ll know more tomorrow abt solid PLANS but I've had to tell myself the reason why things will work this time is bc I've got my own source of income now. And with a car I won't lose it.

I'm not scared of the powerlessness of living off someone else and the constant threat of homelessness. Honestly Charles is so bad with money I'm quite optimistic. Itll be a relief actually having all the bill's only in my name. Last year's tax returns he nearly gave me an ulcer spending 1k on a gacha game.

I've heard p much everything someone's 2 cents have been in my 11 years with this man, and yes I shoulda booked it a longgg time ago but the past is outta my hands. What matters is I'm doing it now.

I'm tired. So tired. But I'm fighting back still. My kids are ok and I'll do whatever it takes to see to it that it stays that way under my care.

[rivolted]

this  is  the  only  gif  that’ll  upload  for  me  for  some  reason  but  also  JUSTICE  for  power  rangers!dacre.  anyway,  howdy  !  i’m  lyra,  she  /  they,  eternally  making  my  muses  suffer.  this  is  the  first  of  five  intros  i  have  to  post  (  h-horrifying  )  so  please  bear  with  me  as  i  try  to  get  through  those  hehehe  <3   

[ DACRE MONTGOMERY, CIS MALE, HE/HIM. ]    hey, that’s apollo zale from district four. they’re pretty well known around those parts for being a FISHERMAN. the hunger games fills them with dread, especially since they’re twenty five years old, but they’ll be watching — everyone always does. anyways, if you’re looking for them, i hear they remind everyone of calloused hands digging into skin, the taste of salt on your tongue & the heavy weight of everything you never said.

CHARACTER INSPO   :    alizayd al qahtani  (  city of brass  ),   jet  (  atla  ),   henry clerval  (  frankenstein  ),   patroclus  (  myth  ),   julian diaz  (  cemetery boys  )   90% of these characters are dead i’m so sorry

i     kneel     into     a     dream     where     i     am     𝓖𝓞𝓞𝓓     &     𝓛𝓞𝓥𝓔𝓓     .     i     am     good     .     𝙄     𝘼𝙈     𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀𝘿     .     my     hands     have    made    some     good     mistakes     .     𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲     𝐜𝐚𝐧     𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬     𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞     𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫     𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬     .

name   :   apollo zale.

age   :   twenty - five.

gender & pronouns   :   cis male & he / him.

district   :   four.

occupation   :   fisherman.

moral alignment   :   lawful good.

ok no more formatting or anything just bullet points and incoherent babbling ♡ wcs are at the end  !  these aren’t going to be too long or pretty or anything i have five more to do. MZMZMZMZM

the oldest zale boy, a golden boy. his entire life, he’s tried very hard to emulate their father while also be better than him at protecting & providing for their family. he’s very guarded & feels that he needs to be in order to protect his family; he might come off as cold & uncaring at first glance, but he’s a big softie. it’s just.... Complicated !

loves bodies of water. as a babe, he never got an affinity for swimming like many other kids in the district, but when he was six, he somehow snuck from home to follow his father during a fishing trip and almost drowned  ;  instead of letting fear rule him, he used the incident to inspire a fine tune a love for the water. his father would joke that apollo has One True Love and it’s the sea.

because his name won’t get picked and he doesn’t volunteer, he’s finally edged out of the hunger games after this year; unfortunately for him, his siblings will all still be eligible. this is the knowledge that haunts him at night. he’s had nightmares about sending his younger siblings to die.

so of course when that biggest nightmare happens he’ll absolutely break inside. the words i volunteer might even reach the tip of his tongue, but he just can’t. all he can do is watch with slow, unfolding horror, feeling utterly useless. utterly powerless. 

like i said, he’s pretty aloof towards most people outside of his family, but what’s actually a ruse is seen by a lot of people in the district as a mysterious Dark Boy & he’s become very popular as people try to get him to open up,,,, Romantically. i’m talking the zale home got flooded with love letters once. 

with his siblings i joke that he’s definitely the We Got Food At Home brother. he just. loves his siblings ! and they just bring him constant stress  (  PERSEUS.  ) ! def a mother hen. that said, while most of the time he presents himself as the responsible older one, when he does get in trouble it’s somehow worse than anything his siblings could do (  see again  :  near death experience at six  ).

whether nixie makes it through the games or not, when the rebellion starts, he’ll be very cautious - not because he doesn’t believe in the cause, but because any support he provides could and would put his family in danger. i imagine once his brothers indicate that they’re also All In he’ll actually start to become more brazen.

he’s v intelligent and a p good leader/strategist when he’s not being Cautious so as he throws that to the wind i can see him developing his leadership skills more & possibly getting HIGHLY involved with the rebellion

also he’s !! strong !! buff !!  

wcs   !

it’s nice to have a friend. this is someone who knows apollo to his core. his artemis if u will hehehe. he trusts this person entirely. honestly this is v v open as long as they’re from district four, i just want him to have somebody he call tell everything to & who can trust him back. if they’re younger than him than he’s also probably super worried abt them & thg & in general he’s as protective as he is over his family. i like to think that they work together and are practically attached at the hip; where x goes apollo will follow and so on. doesn’t have to turn romantic or be romantic but u know... .. . . . if u want. .. . .

i am now begging for a self indulgent crush wc. apollo’s pretty popular, like i said. but this person. OH, THIS PERSON. if the sea was his first love, this person is the second. there’s just one problem: they don’t know he likes them. & unlike many other people, they haven’t even tried to flirt with him. he’s sure they don’t like him back - maybe they don’t ! that’s up to you ! - and it’s keeping him from being bold. again this doesn’t have to turn romantic and i actually. would Really Love for this to have a platonic end.

those are my big two but i’d love to plot anything past / present / future. some other ideas are: enemies or rivals, an ex who left him bc he was either overprotective or because he just. didn’t devote time to them properly, someone he looks up to.

[charismastaticarchive]

@khorosvein​ [ hc meme ] : ( mera & dedue / claude / dorothea )

mera & dedue :

dedue’s love language is ‘acts of service.’ mera gets SO WELL TAKEN CARE OF. he cooks for her and cleans for her and she’s always like ‘let me take care of you ; )) and he’s always like.... ‘but i like doing this......... [fear.png bc this is his way of coping with feeling useless and powerless even tho he’s also doing it bc he cares about her]’ but SLOWLY he comes to think of himself less as her loyal steadfast knight, and more of a proper partner that can get taken care of too!!!!!! and they grow to LOVE cooking & cleaning together and when they have kids chores like that become magnetic to them because their parents are so in sync and calm & peaceful & happy while they cook and clean so the kids LEGIT want to do it too to be part of this weird process of loving each other and loving their home by taking care of each other and the house???? PARENTS OF THE YEAR.

dedue isn’t as good a dancer as mera, he pays too much attention to every movement and he gets really scared he’s doing it wrong and making a fool out of himself and Literally Embarrassing every person of duscur ever. but mera is like shhh shhhh shhhhhhh ur fine bb, and he learns to have FUN dancing again!!!!! dedue teaches her silly traditional children dances from his childhood and they have so much fun dancing together like that, like they’re joyful kids without a care in the world! and they teach it to their kids, and their kids literally won’t stop doing it ever. they love to wiggle and stomp and dance and it NEVER fails to make dedue smile and laugh, though sometimes if he’s in a mood he’ll tear up just a little bit bc it overwhelms him with memories & bittersweet joy.

i have an extensive hc about duscur families having quilts dating back GENERATIONS that they all add to every winter solstice. i think it would be so cute if dedue and mera started making their own quilt together, huddling underneath it while it snowed outside.... and when one of them gets anxious or scared when they’re all alone they just silently place the quilt over the other one’s shoulders & remind them they have a family that loves them very much, even if that family is only One person (for now).

mera&claude:

my big thing for claude is that he’s a JERK with a heart of gold. he can be very, very rude, even tho he always ‘takes it back’ or backtracks with it so he doesn’t lose face. this does NOT extend to mera. though claude WILL be sarcastic and lash out at her on the occassions she knows something that he doesn’t and he feels stupid---specifically usually about fodlan art and culture and dancing and manners/politics, usually, but other things as well as mera is very, very smart----he sometimes treats her as if she is a princess made of glass that could shatter at any moment. the almyrans mourn duscur above all their allies, as duscur got the worst of fodlan imperialism. tho i’m sure she appreciates his sympathy, i’m sure sometimes she gets tired of him pitying her and treating her with kids gloves (especially since she doesn’t know he’s from almyra to begin with) and is just like TAKE ME SERIOUSLLYYYYYYYYY. I’M STRONG!!!!!!!!!! LETS FIGHTTTTT. and then he ends up taking it seriously and they end up in a battle of WITS AND STRENGTH in which they are EQUALLY MATCHED and it ends in hot breath & falling all over each other in the cold grass meshed with morning dew as they’ve been at it all night. and it’s just really god lol.

when he takes her to almyra he doesn’t actually act so proud of his country? because they haven’t retained a lot of the former glory from his history that he’s so proud of. it’s painful to him to see how far they’ve fallen. sure, they’ve still got the dragons and the gold, but they can’t EAT either. at the end of verdant wind he’s finally got the trade routes and agreements he needs, but he still feels woefully over his head in terms of like. fixing his whole country. mera shows so much wisdom in dealing with everything as queen that he’s knocked flat on his ass with how much he’s always really needed her, a partner in his corner that can absolutely match him in smarts and strategy, and is so GOOD at manipulating people with politeness and social graces. she takes to almyra like a fish to water, but she brings all the political subterfuge claude was never able to use. mera even saves his life from political assassinations on some occassions!!!!! tho it does scare the shit out of her lmfao.

their wedding combines almyran traditions & duscur traditions. it’s soooo beautiful, and seeing her in her wedding dress makes claude tear the fuck up tbh even tho he pretends he’s not and uses the cheesey joke that he’s got something in his eye and mera has to resist the urge to kiss him right then and there for being such a dork!!!!

mera&dorothea:

mera&doro is definitely our angstiest ship because. i don’t see them having a happy ending!!!! they are going to end up SO TRAUMATIZED. and even tho i hc them adopting a bunch of orphans and leading a new opera troupe for lgbt people and misfits that doesn’t rely on patrons (and instead relies on edelgard’s support and resources as the emperor), sometimes they feel like they can’t forgive themselves, or even each other. they’re so scared of themselves after everything they’ve done to fight a war they didn’t REALLY believe in.... they wanted to protect each other and edelgard so badly but??? what was it for... what was it all for.... slowly edelgard’s policies come into fruition and everything seems better society wise with the public schooling and meritocracy and stuff but like. they can still tell edelgard is holding something back from them, and they just don’t want to be part of the lies and the killing any more. they only find solace in each other and art, but sometimes even that doesn’t work and sometimes one of them can’t find the energy to get out of bed in the morning, and while the other one tends to them kindly with love & all the tenderness in the world, they see their own weakness in each other, their own wounds revealed so clearly, and it takes all their strength not to just lay down with the other person and cry right along with them.....

but on a happier note!!!!!!! mera dancing to doro’s singing!!!!! them making BEAUTIFUL ART TOGETHER.... and raising kids that love art just as much as they do!!!!

doro thinking mera is the most beautiful girl she’s ever seen and telling her so every day and making mera blush and not know what to say and assume she’s just teasing her but she MEANS IT!!!!! mera returning the compliment and doro assuming she’s just playing with her or being how straight girls usually are... HOPELESS BIS!!!!

[icharchivist]

Oh no I agree w/you on not being hard on fans who think differently. One of the reasons I like fan discussions is to read other people's thoughts and try to understand where the ones I disagree w/are coming from. That's just my personal view and reading of the character. I think lately the stress has been getting to Chaoji so he's extra harsh and that's going to be unattractive to Allen's friends. I also think he's wording things the wrong way. It'd be better if he said I'll fight the Noah -

2 instead of I'll fight Allen or telling Allen's friends to forget about him. In this way Chaoji is, whether he means to or not, making it sound like Allen is JUST a Noah. Which.... Is actually a interesting thought. What does the average person think how a Noah works? Does he think Allen is 100% gone now? *shrugs* Either way agree to disagree on some parts. I have no probs w/fans so forgive me if it sounded I was harsh to them. I was just naming of groups I saw and thought it was interesting.

Ahh alright, sorry then for the lecture! it’s fine, don’t worry now that it’s cleared up. 

I think i’m getting a little paranoid of some fandom arguments? especially when it starts to involve how some fans react to some controversial events. Bigger fandoms have been so filled with dramas (there had been a lot of push back against people liking not pure uwu characters that i get defensive at the idea of judging how someone may approach a controversial character they may like) i tend to end up having red flags over silly things i would probably have used myself a few years back. 

Your argument was fine, and honestly pretty mild in that term, i guess i’ve just had seen enough more virulent argument to be a little.. *alarms bells* upon reading some vague keywords. 

So my point is, my bad, i’ve got a little defensive there and judged your ask too harshly. I apologize.

Now back to the topic, yeah agreed on Chaoji. I honestly think Chaoji doesn’t know what details makes a Noah? I mean, the Order didn’t know before Road made her introduction and the Bookmen had to explain to them a few things. No one knows what it is like to turn into a Noah, no one knows about the awakened memories, and hell, the 14th is already a specific sort of Noah (i say it with all the love, but Nea isn’t a Noah Memory like Joyd is, he’s a parasite inside Allen’s body: his own being, not a memory that awoke in Allen, so even that when you know Noah’s development logic, is weird)

Chaoji didn’t become an exorcist until after the Ark’s arc and no one had any reasons too explain to that random crew man who was just helping carrying Lenalee around what little secrets they had learn about the Noah. So I think Chaoji still sees them as “they control the Akuma, they are rotten to the core, and once they turn there’s no come back”, perhaps projecting what he knows of the Akuma (which in which case is true, once an akuma, the only thing you can do is kill them with innocence for salvation - no attempt to really save them. Which makes me think, Chaoji did know Chomesuke- i think he wasn’t developped enough to have a reaction to him, but the fact Chomesuke had to destroy himself bc he couldn’t resist to its nature anymore might have added to this argument that there is no salvation for Dark Matter). 

For Chaoji I really don’t think he had the time to know about Noah stuff, and everything we know about how Noah comes to be come from Noah’s POV, so not something the Order may know, let alone a stubborn exorcist who hates them by principle. Allen tends to extend his compassion to non-humans because in a way... if he had seen Mana as non human the moment he would have turned him as an Akuma i think Allen couldn’t have stand it. (also i ended up mixing up with FMA but that reminded me of how Ed refused to kill the armor guys in the Lab 5 even when they kept saying they weren’t human anymore, because if he did so it would just imply that his brother isn’t human either and that it’s his fault that it is like that. I think the same reasoning can be applied to Allen @ the Akuma and extend to the Noah as long as the Noah are on the “side” of the Akuma. Ironically though considering “Mana” ended up becoming a Noah. Well. Always was, but you get my point)

Meanwhile the only strong feeling we’ve seen from an exorcist @ the Noah for being a Noah, was Kanda saying that since they are humans (which Skinn repeated) then they could be killed. Which i personally always took as a reassurance on Kanda’s part of reclaiming his own humanity and Alma’s, since they were denied it as kids and perhaps the only thing that, after all the horrors Alma had done, that made him human was that Kanda could kill him. Kanda asserting the Noah’s humanity in order to convince himself that death is part of humanity would, if i’m correct, be a sort of projection to protect that memory and identity, the same way Allen projects on others. 

But for the others, Lenalee had never hesitated around the Noah, even upon meeting Road, she quickly fought back. Lavi has a bad experience with Noah but he’s neutral enough to care more about what Allen wants in the end (when Allen wants to rescue Tyki the whole thing is about “the guys at the Order will look badly at it but if you think it’s important...” and not “why you do want to rescue the guy i wanted to kill a few hours ago”)Then there’s mainly Krory with the twins (and Lenalee to an extend) and I think there was too much irritation going on about them being brats more than them being Noah that went on there. 

But from Chaoji’s point of view who knew nothing about them, had spent his life hating the dark matter for taking what he loved, he saw.... Well Tyki playing with Lavi’s grief and threatening Lenalee, before trapping them in the Ark and trying to kill Allen, he’s seen Skinn  attack everyone and they then left Kanda behind with him, he’s been here a huge chuck of the Jasdebi fight just to see the Twins being Absolute Disaster Making You Lose Faith In Anything They Ever Represent (And It Happens To Be The Noah This Time) (did i ever mention that i love those stupid twins? I love them. They’re so dumb.), Road destroying Lavi’s mind and torturing Allen into forcing him to destroy Lavi, and finally the Lullubel attack on the Order that killed a huge amount of people. And if we extend the timeline to when he could have caught up his next meeting with the Noah in the Alma arc made him KO, kidnapped Lavi and Bookman who are now thought dead, and Fiidora’s parasites tortured him when he was powerless to save Lavi and Bookman, which might add some feeling of guilt there by the by. 

Without understanding of the Noah he just saw... the sheer destruction they brought along with them.

So Allen saying “I might become a Noah and you will have to kill me” - well I think seeing how horrible the Noah had been up to this point was enough for Chaoji to think that if Allen became one, it would override all of the good qualities Allen had. After all he has never seen the Noah before they became Noah.

Tbh It makes me even wonder if being introducted to Tyki in his human form (and Road to her human form as well but it’s more minor than how they befriended Tyki before that) may have made more possible for Allen to want to try to see that humanity. Because he saw this humanity with how Tyki behaved with his friends. More than just... hearing about “Oh apparently he has friends” that Chaoji would have heard from Allen, Lavi and Krory’s reaction upon meeting Tyki again. 

In a way, the fact Krory also has this association adding to how much he cares for Allen to relativise the way “becoming a Noah” might affect Allen - in a way Chaoji cannot. Because Krory saw Tyki having seemingly meaningful friendships with humans so, becoming a Noah wouldn’t come out as completely monstruous for him a way someone who just know the Noah might. (that, and also how his love for Eliade was serious and might make him more willing to believe in that humanity, even if Eliade told him in the end that she was just using him. Krory didn’t know she was lying - but he might hold on to that feeling).

So adding to all of Chaoji’s unchecked prejudice, there is this complete unknown over people he had only known as cruel. He has never seen their humanity the way Lavi, Krory, Kanda and Allen has. Then again yeah it doesn’t excuse anything because Miranda and Lenalee for exemple are in the same situation having suffered first hand from tortures from, well, Road for exemple, but trusting Allen above all while just as much in the dark. Even if depending how much the infos Bookman gave came to Miranda and Lenalee before Chaoji joined the Exorcist Group.

So that ended up being a lot of rambling dkjhfd but my point is that therefore, Allen is the one to see the humanity of the Noah the most, Krory and Lavi has reason to at least know personally Tyki’s human side to doubt how the Noah’s cruelty works, Kanda had had how he met with Skinn to approach it, else every exorcists before Chaoji was recruited might have heard a bit from Bookman but that’s it. Any other sort of acknowledging this humanity would come with trusting Allen. Which Chaoji doesn’t. 

And no one knows what “becoming a Noah” is like. And while Chaoji wasn’t there and i’m certain Lveille lied, but Allen did have a swift change of behavior and personality at least twice in the Alma’s arc for everyone to see (when talking to the Earl + when Kanda stabbed him). Even Johnny saw that. A second hand retelling could just convince Chaoji “well perhaps he had no control and it doesn’t matter what kind of person he was - once a Noah, you become a monster” and that could be enough.

That was a lot of ramble i’m so sorry dkjhfd but yeah. It’s a mess. 

And it’s just... there’s no way Chaoji can know. All he could do would be to trust Allen. Even seeking for answers isn’t exactly a position Chaoji is in, even if it would be preferable if he did question what he thought so far (like the others do) rather than just thinking “yup, he’s a goner, i’ll fight him”

if that makes any sense kdjhfd

idk Chaoji’s perspective is kinda fascinating to me. I dislike that he has it and doesn’t question it, but it’s fascinating to see how being emotionally disconnected from every elements we have ended up caring about can make someone like this. It really shows the price of emotional investment for me to see how Chaoji behave. He’s kinda the Counter-audience in that regard. And that’s what makes him fascinating, for as much as i dislike him as a person ahah. 

[patton-croc-agenda]

Coral and Crowns (Ch.1/4)

A/N: Heyoo it’s me your local fic dealer here with a mer!royality fic bc those boys need more love damnit (me??? not writing logicality?? more likely than u think)

Specials thanks to: @pattonistooprecious my lovely beta, @impatentpending for letting me cameo her disaster lesbians, and the kids on the powerless discord server. Y’all wild.

Pairings: Royality

Words: 5,887

Warnings: Mentioned homophobia, mentioned/implied overbearing/emotionally distant parents

Next: Ch.2

Read it on Ao3

Roman Prince, despite being a hopeless romantic, did not fall in love easily. He’d faced enough heartbreak in his life to know when to teasingly flirt, and when to guard his heart away. He knew someday, he’d find the right person for him, but he doubted he’d meet them today. Hell, he doubted he’d meet them within this year. That was okay though, really, better to wait and find his perfect match then just go getting his heart broken by all the wrong people.

“YO! YOU GONNA JUMP OR NOT?” Roman ignored the voice behind him in favor of looking down into the water below. This was a popular cove for cliff-divers, with cliffs of all sizes lining the beach. Roman had been coming here his entire life, and had been jumping off cliffs into the ocean below for the same length of time. Taking a deep breath, Roman stepped back and prepared himself.

This particular cliff was rather dangerous, it was quite high up and the water below was surrounded by a small semicircle of rocks. It was dangerous, but Roman was a Prince.

He lived for danger.

Racing forward, Roman whooped and dove down, feeling the wind rush past his face, stinging his eyes and skin with salt carried up from the ocean. Roman closed his eyes as he made impact with the water.

Roman felt the warmth of ocean water engulf him as he slowly opened his eyes. He loved being underwater, loved the feeling of being hugged it gave him. His vision was slightly fuzzy, making him wish he’d brought his goggles. Sadly, goggles were terribly unfashionable, and as much as Roman wanted to see the bright colors of sea life, he wanted his dignity more.

Roman was about to swim up when he saw a blur out of the corner of his eye, a very large blur. Roman turned and saw...a boy?

He looked to be about Roman’s age, maybe a bit younger. He was poking out from behind a rock, so Roman couldn’t see his lower half, just his chest and arms and face. Not that Roman was complaining, as Mr. Stranger had a very pretty face. Dotted with freckles, with wavy brown hair floating around his head like a halo. He was wearing glasses, which was weird considering they were underwater, but Roman had seen people do so before and decided to not think much of it. He gave Roman a wide, sunshine grin before ducking behind the rock completely.

Roman was about to follow, but the pain in his lungs was a sharp reminder that he needed to resurface. Besides, people were still cliff-diving, and Roman didn’t want to get crushed by an unsuspecting jumper. He gave the rock one last look before kicking to the surface.

~~~~~

Roman’s hand rested on the door handle. He’d spent the entire day at the beach, and really needed to get home. He had to get ready for work tomorrow, as much as he hated it. Roman sighed and rested his forehead against the warm, red metal, closing his eyes. Just thinking about going to work, thinking about listening to customers whine loudly like mosquitoes while children screeched and ran wild in the background, gave him a headache.

Still, though, he couldn't help it. All of his job hunting had turned out to be fruitless, so he would continue to work retail until someone took pity on the high school dropout and gave him an honest shot. He needed the money, needed to find out how to get his GED and then maybe scrape together enough money for community college.

Roman inhaled through his nose and opened his car door, ready to face tomorrow. He paused, however, and remembered the boy from earlier. He’d been in the back of Roman’s mind all day. Roman knew he should go, should get some sleep for the headache that was tomorrow. Just like he knew the boy probably wasn’t even there anymore. Still...he couldn’t shake the feeling that overtook him. It couldn’t hurt to just look. Roman groaned and closed his car again, returning to the beach.

~~~~

Roman did not find the strange boy. He’d looked everywhere, from the water around the cliff he had first seen the boy, to the corners of the beach, to even a few closed food stands. Nothing. Roman didn’t know what he was expecting. Sighing, Roman glanced up at the setting sun and prepared to head back to his car. Again.

He froze when he heard a beautiful, soft, melody. He looked around, trying to find the source of the voice. It blended perfectly with the waves that crashed up along the sand, a haunting sound. Roman walked slowly towards the ocean, noticing a rock jutting out from the water. He often saw children climbing up on it during the day, and usually lifeguards would have to keep a close eye on it to make sure none were shoving each other off.

At the moment, however, there was only one person sitting on the large rock. The boy Roman had seen earlier, if those wavy locks were anything to go by. Roman could only see the upper half of his body as he slowly approached, glad he hadn’t changed back into his clothes as he waded out into the water and approached the large rock.

The boy kept singing softly, the sound echoing in Roman’s mind. He couldn’t make out any specific lyrics, just the boy’s lovely voice.

“Hey there,” Roman finally decided to make his presence known. The boy shrieked in surprise and fell forward off the rock, into the ocean. Roman scrambled up and looked down with wide eyes at the place the boy landed. The water bubbled for a moment, before the boy resurfaced, brushing his hair from his face.

“Oh my goodness!” the boy said, looking at Roman with wide eyes. He placed his hand against the rock, and when he pulled it away it was a blur. Something hit Roman in the chest and he looked down to see a rather bright colored starfish. He looked at the boy with a bewildered expression.

A sheepish grin, “you star-tled me!” Roman gaped slightly before a laugh escaped past his lips. He gently took the starfish and tossed it back into the ocean, laying across the large rock on his stomach and putting his chin over his crossed arms.

“So you’re beautiful, a talented singer, and make witty puns? I seem to have hit the jackpot,” Roman said smoothly. The boy’s cheeks turned bright pink, accentuating his freckled face as he giggled.

“Man, you’re a real charmer aren’t ya?”

“Of course. Now, would you happen to have a name, you handsome angel?” The boy tilted his head.

“I thought the term was handsome devil?”

“You seem far too sweet for that,” Roman winked. The boy titered again.

“Patton. I’m Patton Coral.”

“Ah, a beautiful name for a beautiful boy I see? I’m Roman, Roman Prince.” Patton snorted loudly and quickly covered his mouth. Roman raised a brow at him.

“Yes, yes. My last name is very funny, I know.”

“No, no, it’s not that! I guess it’s a sort of inside joke?” Patton said. Roman nodded.

“Well, I’d love to make some inside jokes with you someday. How about you and I grab coffee sometime?” Patton’s face fell and he looked at the water, swimming away from the rock slightly.

“I, um. I can’t, I’m sorry,” he fiddled with his fingers, looking truly upset. Roman’s face fell as well.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I just met you, and asked you on a date. That was awfully rude of me.” Patton looked at Roman again, quickly shaking his head.

“No! It’s not that at all! I just. I’m not really able to go many places other than home and the beach...strict parents and such. Which is totally unfair, since I’m not a child anymore!” Roman smiled softly and sat up, letting his feet trail through the water. Patton swam closer.

“I understand,” Roman ran a hand through his hair, “my parents never let me go out of their sight. I mean, until they kicked me out.” Patton’s expression grew surprised.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!”

“Nah, I’m over it now. They couldn’t handle the fact I like boys, so I say I’m better off without em anyway.” Roman shrugged. It was at least somewhat true, the sting of being kicked out dulled a lot over the past six years. Not entirely though. He couldn’t expect it to ever, truly.

“Still, that’s awful. I’m real sorry you had to deal with that. Parents should accept their children, not shun them,” Patton put his hand over Roman’s. It felt weirdly warm and dry considering it had been previously underwater.

“Thanks, Pat.” Patton nodded before suddenly ducking into the ocean, hardly making a ripple. Roman was genuinely concerned he’d been pulled down due to how sudden it was and peered down, trying to see him.

He resurfaced suddenly, knocking foreheads with Roman. They both winced back, rubbing where they’d been hit.

“Sorry!” Patton finally said, holding out a shell. Roman frowned, slowly taking it.

“Thanks?”

“I heard if you put these up to your ear, you can hear the the ocean. I thought it’d be a good gift from me...considering everything,” Patton looked a bit nervous, “and if you want we can meet here same time tomorrow? The shell can be a reminder of sorts.” Roman couldn’t help the wide, hundred watt grin from growing on his face.

“I love it,” he said, because he did. He really, truly loved it. Still, he felt as though he needed to give Patton something in return. He felt inside the pockets of his swim trunks, before remembering something else.

Clipped onto the belt loop (though he had no clue why these swim trunks needed a belt loop) was a pocket knife Roman had bought a few years ago. He never really needed it, but enjoyed having it on him anyway. He unclipped it and handed it to Patton.

“Oh, no! Roman I can’t take this!” Patton shook his head, but his eyes sparkled with obvious interest. Roman winked and curled Patton’s fingers around the knife, pushing it towards him.

“I insist. You gave me a gift, so here is one for you. Just carry it with you, and if I ever need it back, I’ll just ask.” Patton seemed to consider the offer for a heartbeat before he nodded.

“Thank you so much, Roman! It’s beautiful.”

“I could say the same about the gift you gave me, or you, for that matter,” Roman smiled. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Patton grinned and gave Roman the cheesiest wink he’d ever seen.

“Of course, Mr. Prince.”

~~~

Roman never realized how lonely he was until he’d been seeing Patton for about a month. July melted into August, but despite the slight drop in temperature Roman had yet to see his friend(? Boyfriend? They certainly flirted, but Roman wasn’t sure where their relationship stood) out of the water. Whenever he tried to ask him about it, however, Patton seemed to dodge around the question, swimming back away from Roman, and despite his curiosity, Roman was far too scared of losing his only friend to any sharp realities that would come with confrontation.

So instead, Roman would sit on the rock and watch as Patton swam and laughed, and the pair would talk for hours until Roman had to head home. They enjoyed each other’s company, and Roman trusted Patton more than he’d trusted anyone in years, despite all his secrets.

They’d gotten into a routine, with Roman coming out and sitting on the rock for about five minutes before Patton would appear seemingly out of nowhere and the two would begin wherever they last left off. Not today, though. The second Roman stepped out into the water, he saw Patton’s pop up next to their meeting rock. He was laughing, giddy, and excited.

“ROMAN!” Patton squealed, swimming in circles. Roman laughed, rushing and stumbling out to the rock. He almost didn’t make it, as Patton continued to swim circles around him.

“What’s up Patt Patt?” Excited to see me?” Roman teased lightly, collapsing onto the rock. Patton swam over, resting his arms on the tops of Roman’s knees. Roman forgot how to breathe for a half a second.

“I am, I am! Guess what guess what guess what?!” Roman laughed again, smiling at Patton.

“Hm, well I haven’t a clue. You seem so excited, why don’t you just tell m-”

“I CAN GO ON A DATE WITH YOU!” Patton cut him off, flailing his arms wildly. Roman’s heart flat out stopped in his chest. He hoped Patton knew CPR, because he was gonna die otherwise.

“You can?!”

“YES!”

“OH, PATTON, MY WONDERFUL COMPANION,” Roman was excited now too, standing up and twirling dramatically. He crouched down and took Patton’s hands in his own, they were both pink in the face and laughing with pure delight and excitement.

“When will I be able to take you out then, my beautiful Starfish?”

“Is now okay?” that took Roman by surprise a bit, but he hadn’t done improv before he dropped out of highschool for nothing. He masked any shock with a sincere grin and eagerly jumped into the water with Patton.

“Of course! Off we go!” Roman didn’t let go of Patton’s hands as he swam to shore, afraid he would lose him if he did. However, Patton ended up pulling his hands back anyway, causing Roman to turn to him curiously.

“Just gimme one second! Can I meet you at your…” Patton paused, brow furrowing.

“My car?”

“Yes! That! Sorry, you know how sometimes you know a simple word but it still slips your mind?”

“Yes! God, I hate that. I’ll see you there though.” Roman said, jogging out of the water. He walked backwards most of the way, trying to watch Patton for as long as he could before he finally vanished over a hill. Roman inhaled deeply, turning around so he wouldn’t run into anything; he’d already narrowly missed a tree.

He finally found himself sitting in the driver’s seat in his car, fiddling with his keys. Each passing minute felt like hours, and Roman felt like Patton must’ve changed his mind after fifteen torturous minutes of waiting, Roman finally started feeling a niggling doubt. Like maybe Patton had changed his mind. Maybe he was just trying to get Roman to leave so he could escape. Maybe-

THUNK!

“JEE MENETI!” Roman gave a high-pitched shriek, covering his face his arms. He looked up to see Patton, fumbling with the door handle of the passenger side. Roman let out a relieved sigh, unsure if it was because he saw that his car wasn’t being assaulted by mothman, or because Patton hadn’t ditched him after all. Probably both.

Roman leaned over and opened the door for him, grinning as Patton stumbled back. It was the first time he’d seen Patton below the waist (not that he’s really thought about it- honest!), and he had rather scrawny and pale legs compared to the rest of his body, as if he didn’t walk quite as much as he should. He was also wearing sparkly blue swim trunks that were covered in sequins that looked almost like fish scales.

Patton beamed at Roman, but it didn’t quite match the nervous look in his eyes. Still, he slowly lifted one leg, swaying as he did so, and stepped up into the car. He collapsed into the seat, letting out a relieved little sound. Roman chuckled.

“Too used to swimming to handle a little walk?” he joked. Patton gave him a playful glare, watching as Roman buckled up. He attempted to do the same, but obviously struggled. Roman had an inkling suspicion that Patton had never been in a car before, but he wasn’t going to say anything. After all, he never thought he’d get the chance to even take Patton anywhere.

“Alright, where did you want to go for this date?” Roman asked, turning to look at Patton as he put his keys into ignition. Patton shrugged helplessly.

“I figured you’d have something planned,” Roman snorted, backing out and away out of the parking lot.

“Well, this is pretty sudden, but I do have one idea,” he said. He suddenly realized something, as he looked over at Patton.

“Uh. Did you have like, at least a shirt or anything? I have one in here, but that would mean I’d end up shirtless.” Patton gave Roman a sort of confused look.

“Do I need one?” Patton asked, sounding genuinely surprised. Roman shrugged helplessly.

“Not technically? I’ll just stop by my house real quick and grab an extra one. We could see if any of my pants fit you too,” Roman started driving the familiar path home. He didn’t really live far from the beach, and it would only be a 10 minute walk if he so chose, but Roman often just headed to the beach right after work, and didn’t feel like stopping at home first. He parked at the front of his apartment, looking over at Patton, who was struggling to unbuckle.

“Were you planning to come in?” Roman asked, surprised. He had planned to just run in and grab a shirt and extra pair of pants. Patton looked at him innocently.

“Is that okay?”

“Y- yeah of course,” Roman said, secretly dreading the idea. He was sure Patton wouldn’t mind, not really, but he couldn’t help but feel self conscious as they stepped off the elevator- which seemed to terrify and fascinate Patton in equal regards- and he unlocked his door.

“You live here?” Patton asked, looking around. Roman internally cringed, looking at the mess of clothes, papers, and takeout boxes littering the room.

“Yeah. Sorry about the mess, I would’ve cleaned if I knew you were coming over,” Patton gave him a funny look.

“I don’t mind the mess, though, I think my friend Logan would lose it. I’m just sad you have to live in such a small space.” Roman frowned. First at the mention of this ‘Logan’, the only friend Patton had really mentioned so far. Secondly, at that implication of Patton’s words. Sure, his apartment was pretty small, but it wasn’t miniscule. In fact, many apartments in the area were around this size. He had to wonder where Patton was living that being in an average-sized apartment made him pity Roman’s living space.

“It’s not too bad,” Roman said instead, not wanting to cause Patton to clam up like he usually did talking about personal information. “C’mon, my room is this way.”

The two headed into Roman’s room, and Roman pulled open a drawer, glancing at Patton. He was about a head shorter than Roman- a fact he was only now noticing now that they were standing next to each other on even ground- so he pulled out a pair of khaki shorts and tossed them to Patton, followed by a pale blue polo. Patton pulled them on. The shirt went down to his butt, and the khakis were slipping down his hips. Patton hasility tried to keep them up, and Roman couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him, earning him a playful glare.

“Here, allow me to help you, my starfish,” Roman picked up a belt from the floor and slipped it through the belt loops, threading it all the way around. At one point, he felt his fingers brush the bare skin along Patton’s hips and he had to fight off his blush. Said blush wasn’t helped by how squirmy and giggly Patton was as he attempted to finish buckling the damn thing.

“Right, there you are,” Roman smiled, “now, could you step out for a second? I’m gonna take my swim trunks off so I can put on some more form-fitting attire. Patton nodded, bouncing out of the room. Roman changed as quick as he could, and ended up adding some sparkly eyeshadow at light speed. A lifetime of sleeping in late as he could and getting ready within five minutes really paying off.

He opened the door and looked out, seeing Patton sitting on his kitchen counter, staring thoughtfully at the floor. Roman walked over, leaning on the counter next to him. Patton looked up at him.

“Ready to go, then?” Roman inquired. Patton gave an excited nod, sliding off the counter and taking one last look around.

“We can come back later...if you like?” Patton smiled at him again, leaning closer. Roman felt his heart skip.

“We’ll see,” Patton murmured, pulling back and heading out the door. Roman fought down his disappointment as he followed.

Back down the elevator, out to the car, and they were finally ready to get on with this whole date thing. Roman subtly tried to wipe the sweat from his palms on his jeans as he put the key in ignition, setting course for his favorite restaurant. He thought some music would help soothe his nerves, so he flicked on the radio, making Patton jump in surprise. His gaze went from shocked to starry eyed, as he leaned forward and began to hum along to the tune. Roman swore he’d never get sick of that haunting voice that lured him to Patton weeks ago.

The drive was relatively silent aside from the quiet humming of Patton matching the radio, but it was a peaceful kind of silence. Not the bitter silence of his parents ignoring him whenever he messed up.

“Here we are,” Roman forced himself out of his own thoughts, parking the car. Patton pulled his attention from the radio, beaming at Roman with that wonderful smile of his. Roman’s heart melted a little. He unbuckled himself, and sneakily undid Patton’s seatbelt as well so he wouldn’t have to fumble with it again, before stepping out of his car and opening the passenger side door.

Patton gave him a smile, complete with light pink blush on the cheeks, and took the hand Roman offered him. Roman kept Patton’s hand in his own, which Patton seemed to appreciate if the way he trailed his thumb across his knuckles was any indication. Roman tried not to shudder at the featherlight touch as he grabbed the door and pulled Patton inside, causing his date to stumble a little.

“Woah…” Patton stared, taking in the large space in awe. The entire area was dimly lit, with all the the tables and booths lining the walls, leaving a large, empty space at the center of the building. Roman felt a tiny nervous coil in his belly, but it faded as Patton squeezed his hand and started making his way to one of the booths.

“This place sure is nifty, Ro!” Patton poked the seat before hesitantly sliding in. Roman slid in on the other side, beaming at Patton. A few other couples and families were scattered about, chatting softly. Patton continued to look around, kicking his legs excitedly. Roman chuckled and hesitated a moment before wrapping his leg around one of Patton’s. The man in question squeaked in surprise, turning red. Roman tried to pull back.

“Oh I’m so so-,” Patton wrapped both of his legs around Roman’s in a death grip, flushing even more. Roman grinned, feeling his own face heat up.

“S-so there’s a lot of empty space. Wh-” Patton started. He was cut off as a woman with a long, thick braid approached their table.

“Howdy, fellas. My name’s Katrina, and I’ll be takin’ ya boys’ orders tonight. I’ll be back in a few to getcha’ drinks, aright?” Roman and Patton nodded. She left, and Roman reached over to pick up a menu. Patton mimicked him.

“So...that empty space?” Patton asked again.

“Oh, yeah, there’s a reason for that. You’ll see,” Roman winked. Patton’s face morphed into one of sheer curiosity.

The waitress- Katerina- came back, and the pair ordered their drinks (with Patton somehow struggling with what he wanted, even though he ended up just getting water). They made small talk for a bit, getting to know each other even better. Bit by bit, Roman felt his feelings towards Patton shifting towards the most positive he’d ever felt towards another human being. Drinks were delivered, and Patton set his menu down and placed his elbows on the table, staring at Roman, who laughed.

“What’re you looking at, Pufferfish Pat?” he asked, sipping his drink. Patton smiled softly.

“You’re so pretty,” Patton said. Roman choked on his drink.

“Wha- You mean that?” Roman asked. Patton nodded.

“Oh yeah,” he started, eyes sparkling with mirth, “you’re a turtle knockout.” Roman blinked a couple times, processing what had just been said.

“Was- was that an ocean pun?”

“Oh, Roman, haven’t you heard? I’m cray-sea about ocean puns. In fact, I bet you’d be more shell-shocked if I didn’t make all these puns. They don’t always happen on porpoise, but those accidental puns shore brighten my day at least!” Roman was clutching his stomach laughing. He didn’t even care that the puns were stupid, or that people were staring at them. It didn’t matter because Patton looked so proud of himself. It didn’t matter because Roman was having a good time. It didn’t matter because he lo-

“Are ya boys ready to order?” Katrina asked, pulling a pencil from behind her ear. Roman glanced at the menu one more time.

“I’ll take the spaghetti dish,” Roman said. He looked over at Patton, who was frantically shifting his gaze from the menu to the waitress. Roman decided to save him, carefully taking the menu from him.

“My date will just take a personal cheese pizza,” Katrina smiled.

“Gotcha, sugar. Enjoy ya date,” she gave the pair a wink and hurried off to the kitchen. Patton started to run his finger along the rim of his glass, humming the soft tune to himself he’d first sang the day Roman met him.

“Does that song have lyrics?” Roman asked. Patton’s gaze flicked up. The dim lights reflected in his gaze, making them look so, so blue. As if the ocean were a permanent staple of his gaze.

“Yeah. My friend Virgil wrote it,” so Patton did have multiple friends then. He kept running his finger across the rim of the glass and took a deep breath:

“Hush, sweet prince, rocked by the waves

Feel your heartbeat echo for days.

If you ever feel scared, alone

Let this melody carry you home.

Sweet prince of coral

Sweet prince to soon be crowned

Let my song be a guidance

Whenever you’re down”

Roman stared at Patton. His hair shining, soft. His eyes closed and concentrated. He was beautiful.

“That was beautiful,” Roman said. Patton opened an eye.

“Really? I’m like the worst singer I know,” Patton laughed humorlessly. Roman took Patton’s hand in his own, causing him to flick both eyes open.

“Well, I thought it was beautiful.” Patton blushed.

The moment was ruined as Katrina threw the pizza down in front of Patton, causing him to jolt back in surprise. She threw the spaghetti too, but somehow it didn’t spill everywhere like Roman had expected, which required perfect skill and aim. Needless to say, Roman was impressed.

“Enjoy, boys. Y’all might wanna hurry. It’ll be seven o'clock soon.” Patton looked up from where he was curiously sniffing his pizza.

“What happens at seven?”

“Did ya boyfriend not tell ya, pardner?” Patton opened his mouth, turning bright red, and looked at Roman helplessly.

“It’s a surprise,” Roman assured her. She smiled at that.

“Hell of a surprise, there.”

“He’ll love it.”

“Whatever ya say pumpkin. Enjoy your meal,” she walked off, and Roman turned back to see Patton had practically inhaled over half of his pizza when he hadn’t been looking.

“Hungry?” Roman laughed in mild shock. Patton looked up at him, tomato sauce smeared all over his face.

“Roman. Roman, listen. Listen, okay? This is the best thing I’ve ever tasted in my entire life.” He took another bite, swallowing what looked like half a slice at once.

If it were anyone else, it would be disgusting. However, Patton seemed to make everything endearing. Roman could stare at him forever and probably still be satisfied. Well, that might not be true. He might want to do more than stare. At one point Patton had released his leg from its prision between his own, so Roman reversed the situation. Patton paused eating to look at him before continuing.

Roman decided it was time to eat his own food before Patton started scolding him about it (it seemed like something he’d do) and got halfway through his pasta before he heard the current background music halt and Katerina’s southern drawl came through a hidden speaker.

“Hey y’all. It’s seven o’clock. You know what that means,” Roman grinned, grabbing Patton’s hand. Patton looked at him, eyes wide. An upbeat, funky tune began to blast at a much louder volume then before.

“Remember, you asked what the big empty space was for?” he pointed to the center of the restaurant, where couples and families were starting to dance. Patton looked at Roman again, eyes wide with mild terror.

“I- I can’t dance Roman!” Roman took both his hands in his own and yanked him over to the dance floor.

“Of course you can, my sweet seashell! Everyone can. The only thing in question is how bad you are.”

“I’m awful,” Patton deadpanned. Roman scoffed.

“C’mon, I’ll lead!” Roman broke away from Patton to do a fun little jig. That made Patton less tense, if only a little.

He took Patton’s hands again, “And we’ll go slow…” he reassured. Patton bit his lip and looked at his shoes. A pair of old sneakers Roman had given him.

“Okay…”

The two did indeed go slow. It was horribly off tempo, and Patton stumbled and fumbled about every five seconds. Still, they were laughing and smiling. Occasionally lifting their gazes from their shoes to look into each other's eyes. Another song began, and Roman saw Katrina swing dancing with a pretty woman wearing a mint green hijab. Roman attempted to lead Patton in a similar dance, but he ended up almost toppling over and Roman managed to save him in a dip.

The second song faded into the third, and Roman knew it would be the last one of the evening. It was a slow song, and Roman smiled as he carefully adjusted Patton’s grip so they could waltz. Despite how clumsy Patton still was, despite the fact they were both not wearing anything particularly fancy, the moment felt right out of every romantic movie Roman had ever seen. He leaned forward.

“Patton,” he whispered. Patton blinked, dark lashes fluttering.

“Yes, Roman?”

“Can I-” the song ended, “-can I…”

“Roman?”

“It...it’s getting late. I should get you home before your parents worry.” Disappointment flashed in Patton’s eyes, but Roman elected to ignore that in favor of heading out into the cool evening air.

He heard the door open and close and felt Patton walk over to stand next to him. They said nothing, glancing at one another out of the corner of their gazes. Crickets chirped around them, and Roman turned to his car, climbing in. Patton managed to buckle up with minimal struggle this time.

The ride was silent, tense. Roman didn’t turn on the radio. Patton shifted to face the window. When Roman looked over, he saw something stormy forming on his face reflected in the glass. He swallowed nervously and turned his view back on the road. The second he pulled into the beach’s parking lot he heard Patton unbuckle his seatbelt.

“Patton...I-” he turned just in time for Patton to grab him by the collar of his shirt.

“Do you want to kiss me?”

“What? I-”

“Roman.” Roman licked his lips, gaze flickering across Patton’s expression. His throat was dry.

“Yes,” it was a whisper, barely there. Patton leaned until there was hardly a silver between their lips. Until Roman could feel the phantom of his lips moving.

“Then kiss me,” he breathed.

Roman lunged forward burying his hands in Patton’s hair and closing that tiny gap. It was a bit too wild for how close they were already, and their teeth clacked painfully, but Roman didn’t care. He didn’t care, because once the initial sting was gone, the mix of sweet-saltiness of Patton’s lips overwhelmed his senses. Roman pulled back, sucked in a large gasp of air, and went right back in.

It was as if someone had made sweet tea with ocean water. Which sounds extremely gross in concept, but it fit Patton so well that Roman couldn’t get enough. Patton took their next breath as an opportunity to stumble-climb over into Roman’s lap, sliding his hands down to Roman’s hips before he pulled Roman back into the waves of dizzy delight all over again.

Roman pulled back. Patton tried to follow, but Roman put his hands on his chest to pause him.

“Be my boyfriend?” he gasped out, breathing hard.

“Shell yes.”

“Fantastic pun, darling,” Roman fisted the front of Patton’s shirt and kissed him again.

Roman was starting to wonder how long this blessing from on high that was making out with his new boyfriend Patton Coral could last, when Patton suddenly yelped and pulled back.

“Oh, God, are you alright?” Roman asked. Patton stared straight through Roman, pulling his hands back.

“I can’t feel them anymore…” he whispered. Roman took Patton’s wrists, alarmed.

“Can’t feel what anymore?” Patton snapped back into focus.

“I- I have to go,” he tried to pull his hands away. Roman was tempted to hold on, to never let go, but considering the implications of that he released him anyway.

“Patton…”

“I’m sorry Roman. I really, really have to go. I- I promise. Next time we talk I’ll explain everything,” he cupped Roman’s cheek, expression tender. Roman swallowed and nodded.

“Okay... I trust you, Starfish,” Patton smiled sadly and pressed his forehead against Roman’s.

“See you later,” with that, Patton opened the door and stumbled out. Roman was tempted to help him, especially when he continued to wobble, but Patton looked back at him with a pleading expression as he mouthed the word, “don’t”.

So Roman simply watched his boyfriend disappear over the crest of the hill. He sat a little longer, itching to follow. Itching to make sure he got home. Itching to see where home was, exactly.

But he didn’t, because when it came to grand adventures, Roman was the bravest man alive. Yet, with people he cared about, he was a coward. He would do the wrong thing a thousand times over to avoid losing the trust of another person he cared about.

So instead of following, Roman put the key in ignition and backed out. He didn’t follow Patton down to the beach, where he finally collapsed in the sand. He didn’t watch as he dragged his now useless lower half to the salty sea- the place he called home.

He didn’t hear Patton’s relieved sigh cut off in a scream as invisible claws dragged him under without so much as a ripple left in his place.

General Writing Taglist:  @angeliclogan @pattons-constellations@amuthefunperson @tatergator27@honeycoloredcorduroy@1esor2 @that-royal-ravenclaw@sardonicsanders@iridescentroyalty @sheeparecutest @pathos-logical

Royality Royalty: @notveryglittery

Discord Hell Friends: @crystrifoglio @verge-of-a-breakdown @why-things-go-boom @moralitytime @impatentpending

[yiulee999]

opm time traveler au (spoilers)

genos goes back in time and tries to disguise himself and befriending sai as a bookworm lol and they become good friends until sai is fooling around and playfully steals genos’ glasses one day and the you know 💘 💘 💘 💘

what started out as a random doodle turned into a multi-chapter length fic draft out on discord!! *o*

the full convo/story is posted below bUT its heavy angst!! be warned!! sorry about the casual lingo, i was posting in chat format XD 

so time traveler au picks up from when sai was getting picked on back in middle school chapter in the manga

and when genos goes back in time he thinks the only way he can get close to saitama if he was an ‘outcast’ too

so he purposefully nerdifies himself more? lOL how is possible,,,

Originally genos got sent back by dr. Genus as way to figure out the key to sai’s strength

Bc in the ‘future’ genos, they had just met and genos just wanted to know what made sai powerful

And initially when they meet genos is very forward about wanting to know all about saitama who finds it kinda creepy and stalkerish when he finds genos tailing him in the hallways and after school haha

And other classmates notice how the new kid (genos) follows/takes an interest in the class loser (sai) so predictably they start making fun of and bullying genos too

Genos, true to form, doesnt give a fuck xD

But sai has mixed feelings about it bc it was the first time someone took an actual interest in him and even though he’s so forward, genos never overstepped boundaries with him and was an okay guy overallBut alot of the story has to do with sai trying to figure out what its like to have a friend

And what to do because hes never had one

But he does know that he doesnt like seeing genos getting pushed around or made fun of so there are moments where he’ll try to stick up for him by telling them to knock it off or pulling genos aside to a differnt hallway when he sees the bullies coming

At the same time hes so confused on like what to do right, so he’ll also try to push genos away, ‘maybe if he didn’t hang around me so much, he’ll won’t get picked on…’

There was one scene i knew i wanted to do

Where after sai stands up for genos, the bullies treat sai worse

So it was an after school thing, behind one of the school buildings where sai is beat up pretty bad (like barely standing) and the bully has him by the front of his shirt and had his fist pulled back

When genos arrives

Before, sai had managed to ditch genos so he wouldnt see sai when he’s ‘weak’And always made up some excuse when he bruises or other injuries

So genos interrupts the scene by straight up grabbing the bullies wrist

And seething in all toasty righteous fury ‘dont touch him!’

and sai cant see it cus he had two black eyes at this point

but this was some dialogue i had written:

S:’What’s he doing? Why is he helping me?‘ "Hey–“

Bully pulls back fist "Look, kid. You’re new so I’ll give you a free pass this time if you walk away right now. You wouldn’t want us to mess up that pretty face of yours, would you?"

G: "How generous of you. Unfortunately, I won’t be extending the same courtesy to anyone who treats this person disrespectfully. Especially not ugly trash like you. "

Bully: "Why you–!! ”

And when the bully tries to redirect the hit to genos, genos instinctively throws out his palm and says ‘incin—‘ before he realizes he doesnt have his cannons

And genos is about to get b e a t

When sai wrenches himself from the bullies grip and takes the hit for him

They like tumble down and genos is confused to what happened before he sees sai lying motionless beside him, bleeding from his head and unresponsive

And i was gonna end a chapter there with genos screaming saitama’s name…

Next chapter was gonna be sai waking up slowly and in a world of hurt

He realizes he’s in the nurses office

It was night time

And when could finally see, he hallucinates seeing like 8 mini genos (remember the genosbots :3)‘Why…whys there eight of you/??’

So basically genos is worry over him so much whereas sai says its fine but genos is like feeling really bad so sai shakily reaches over and gently taps him on the forehead

And grins weakly, ‘there, now we’re even.’

Genos is crying openly bc he’s remembering when future saitama playfully hit his head after a spar and he thinks that saitama-sensei is strong no matter how old he is

And he’s just…overwhelmed by how kind and strong saitama is, even when he has no strength at all (Cus hes like 14 rn haha)

I think a couple days pass, and genos and saitama are eating lunch on the roof (cue bento box scene lol)

Sai is healing nicely, genos is still feeling bad whenever he looks over an sees the bandage on sais head

Some dialogue:

Eating lunch on the roof. G: How’s your wound? S: Hm? Oh, it’s fine. Don’t worry, my teachers say I have a hard head. G: I’m sorry. S: ? Why are you sorry? Not like you’re the one who punched me. G: I made things worse. If I hadn’t antagonized him, then–!! S: Then he woulda beat me up anyway. Seriously, man, it’s not your fault, okay? So you can stop doing all those things for me. G: Like what? S: You know! Like being nice to me and buying lunch and stuff. You don’t need to feel guilty about it anymore.

Sai is still kinda insecure abt having a genuine friend, so he still thinks genos is being nice to him out of pity or smtg, (and genos had been particularly nice to him after he got injured so he figured it was out of guilt)

And i mean….it was,, genos feels terribly guilty…but i think watching sai, who was powerless, attempt to protect him just made him more intrigued (and unbeknownst to him fall a lot deeper in love XD)

But genos says thats not why he does those things

That saitama reminded him of ‘someone’ he knew whom he admired greatly

At his ‘old’ school

He tells sai about his ‘sensei’ and how amazing this person was and all of his great qualities

And sai was feeling a little more depressed at each praise genos was singing about this person (coughjealouscough)

And i have another piece of dialogue here…

S: if you like him so much, why did you leave?   G: …I wanted to see the kind of person sensei was before he became strong. this is where he grew up. S: …seems like a lot of effort just for one person. G:.that person (sai thoughts: he’s still talking?)…no matter what i did..I couldn’t reach him. I’d do anything to close the distance between us..I thought that if I came here, I would be able to understand him. I thought I could help him. G: touches saitama’s wound But instead, I’m still the one being saved. I never learn.

And genos gives sai this painfully heartfelt smile and its full of regret, frustration, self-loathing, admiration, and some other unidentified emotion that just floors saitama

Saitama sees genos’ smile and his eyes and is just...stunned by the level of vulnerability he sees (he’s never gotten close enough to anyone before to see it)

So he reaches out, hestitantly at first, before wiping away genos’ tears carefully because if he touches any harder he’s afraid genos would crumble

S: “i dont really get it...but if you feel that strongly, then i’m sure some part of your feelings reached him.”

And they share their first hug then :3

////

((When i wrote this, genos didnt have glasses haha so i guess that scene where sai realizes how pretty genos is would go before this one))

I guess if the glasses were involved, sai would be torn between wanting genos to take them off (so he can see his eyes which oddly finds that he likes them...alot.) and keep them on so other ppl wont see how pretty he is

Bc sure if they saw, genos would no longer be his friend

He would have so many ppl vying for his attn, he would be surrounded by girls and guys and would be approachableAnd saitama would get left behind

But i think even tho sai wants to be selfish and keep genos to himself, he also realizes that genos wouldnt be bullied if he were more accepted

So he would encourage genos to ditch the glasses and genos would end up getting accepted by everyone but he would still stay with saitama and nothing would change between them other than saitama getting really red at random times and avoiding eye contact more

It would just be one of the many things that strengthen their relationship as friends. And i think i had planned some stuff where they do a bunch of typical friend / kid stuff

Like genos tutoring saitama on math, genos running circles around sai in track/field (‘wtf...huff are...huff you?! huff some...kinda...rOBOT!?). Them going to the arcade, saitama taking genos around to explore his hometown, they go on hiking trips and stuff. 

genos finding out saitama lived alone and that’s why he always buys lunch (or doesnt eat if he got bullied out of it that day) and talking out their issues and genos reaching out and saying yeah, he knew what it felt like to be alone

but that saitama should never feel that way because he wasn’t alone anymore, and saitama joking affectionately ‘yeah i have you to stick annoyingly close.’

and also heavy scenes like when you have to fill out future goals sheets in school where sai shyly admits that he’s always thought it’d be nice to be a hero and was shocked when genos was oVERWHELMINGLY supportive bc he’s never had anyone cheer for him like this, believe in him like genos does. And he calls genos crazy for agreeing with him, but he thinks he must also be crazy because when genos looks at him like that, he feels like he could do it

and its one of the first moments we see sai really open up to genos

bc being a hero was something he truly cared about

but his teachers, his classmates, heck the world, didn’t think he could do, they thought it was a hopeless dream for someone, and he’s so used to facing this kind of rejection that he’s started to believe it really would be impossible for someone like him.... 

but all it took was this one person, this one friend to tell him he could...and it made him feel invincible

and its probably the scene where saitama realizes how important genos is to him.

So of fucking course its when saitama realizes genos is important to him that drama bomb hits Basically, Dr. genus comes and pays genos a surprise visit. And hes like “did you forget the reason I sent you back here? Any updates?”

And genos is like “i have nothing of interest to report”

genus: "This isn’t some children’s game, you know. "

genos: "I must be careful not to expose myself. Saitama-sensei is more observant than I had initially planned--"

genus: "You’re stalling. I have an idea: Fight him. "

genos: !!! dr : "You’ll have a disguise. I will re-install your blasters. Perhaps a stressful situation will trigger a transformatio--. "

((so it was gonna be hinted at that even though genos appeared like a normal human, he was just redesigned by genus and was actually still a cyborg) genos: "I refuse to put Saitama-sensei in danger!!"

dr: "What danger? He is more than capable of--"

genos: "Right now, he is powerless. An attack could kill him--!"

dr: " And doing nothing will kill us!! Your mission is to find out the secret to his strength! Something we both wanted to discover and the entire reason why I chose you as my test subject! I will not sit here idly while you indulge in your childish fantasies that will get us both erased from the timestream. Look. " //he shows genos a pic of the hero registery from their time//

genos: " !!! Sensei’s name is missing!”

dr: " Your name is gone too. I dont know what you did but your actions are interfering with the future. Here. Collect your belongings and leave no evidence behind. We depart in 1 hour. "

genos: " !! Wait! Give me more time!! I understand now..!"

//genos has a bunch of flashbacks of when he does fun stuff with saitama. When sai tries to make him something in cooking class (and fails badly lol). When saitama shares his manga with genos. When they watch anime together.//

Genos: “I understand now..what type of person sensei was...his strength (when sai was protecting him from bullies)...his kindness (sai wiping his tears away)...his warmth (sai hugging him*)...!!”

“I finally understand...!!”

sai holding his hand, sai smiling and eating with him..

“...what its like to feel human again!!!”

He’s suddenly lifted off the ground and pushed roughly against the wall. Dr. Genus has him by the collar.

“Reality check, little shit!! You. Do. Not. Belong. Here! You’ve been playing pretend for far too long! And guess what demon cyborg?”

He tosses genos to the ground

“Time’s run out”

So chapter was gonna end with genos’ hand slowly fading in and out

next chapter would begin with genos being given 2 hours by dr. Genus to basically pack his shit and go. bc they cant leave any trace of the future stuff when they leave So genos ends up back in the classroom Packing his cute stationary and shit xD

(That sai bought him o b v i o u s l y )

And he’s startled by the door sliding open

And saitama walks in

He’s suprised to see genos there (and looking guilty?) “did ya forget smtg?”

And genos just kinda..looks away

And sai sees him packing up and taking everything and hes quiet for a bit ...

“You’re leaving?” He asks softly

“Saitama-kun, I—!”

“Why?” He keeps talking in that soft tone, but it silences genos more effectively than a shout

“I..I can’t...”

S: “...Is it because of that person?”

(Sai remembers the shine in genos eyes when he talks about his ‘sensei’, his special person, and his heart kinda just falls to his feet)

(i never had a chance, did i...)

Genos cant answer because yeah it was because of saitama in the future. So what if genos disappeared? Genos didn’t care. But the world needed saitama. It needed Saitama The Hero. He had to leave now so saitama can exist in the future

But since he cant say anything, for fear or changing the future even more, genos just doesnt say anything

So sai assumes that yeah, it was because of someone else, someone better than him, someone who deserved genos’ admiration and loyalty

He doesnt say anything, just approaches genos slowly, trying not to startle genos who has like deer in head lights ready-to-b o l t

And saitama rests his forehead on genos’ shoulder, barely touching him but close enough that genos cant ignore him, genos can feel his presence and his warmth

And theres a moment where genos is t o r n

Bc this saitama acknowledges him in a way that future sai wouldnt. This saitama looks at him and sees him whereas his sensei’s gaze passes over him to focus on the sale sign

And genos has been in school again, and he realizes he missed it. He missed having his worries be about being late for class, missing a school assignment, whether he could sit next saitama next class, what to pack for his and sai’s lunch tomorrow

And he knew in the back of his mind, that his real self, was in surgery at this time, trading warmth for fire and destruction, shedding his humanity while his future self was regaining it in the past,Thanks to saitama

He inhales sharply, ‘sai—‘ S: “don’t go.”

G: !

(Sai thought genos was going to say he was going to leave and he didn’t think he could hear him say it) S: “I know..he’s precious to you...” He reaches for genos, and after hesitating over touching genos’ hand, he settles for gripping genos’ sleeve of his school uniform tightly S: “but you’re precious to me “

And genos has tears streaming down his face. Because he wanted to stay, he had never wanted anything so much before than to just stay with saitama before he became sensei, to cheer for him when no one else would, to stop him from reaching the point he had trade his emotions for his strength, to stop the emptiness before it could touch him

But he also knew...that in order for his sensei to become strong...saitama needed to have these struggles that pushed him to change

That success without sacrifice was impossible, and he knew, genos KNEW it in his soul that if he stayed...if HE was the factor that caused saitama to limit himself, to fall back on a regular life when genos had seen it with his own eyes that this was a man destined for greater things...he would never be able to forgive himself

Genos throws his arms around saitama and hugs him tightly. He feels like he’s floating with nothing to ground him than the feeling of saitama returning his embrace equally tightly with his still lanky arms

G: “Saitama-kun....Thank you.”

G: “...goodbye.”

So next chapter begins ...With genos ending up back in genus’ lab

G: “Are we back?”

dr: “It appears so. We should—hey!! Where are you going?”

And genos is running off to look for saitama/his SENSEI because he had to exist, he had to still be a hero, right?!

He bumps into a monster

But not just any monster...Its the mosquito girl XD

Genos fights MG because its what he’s supposed to do, but he’s not scared for the fight...he’s scared for what’s to come AFTER...

And saitama shows up and finishes off MG with wan punch!!!

Genos is thankfully, not in disrepair bc he managed to dodge her attacks and was basically stalling for time

Saitama kinda sees him and looks at him blandly but to genos, that garrish, eye-burning yellow hero suit was the best thing he had ever seen

S: “Oh. A civilian? Are you oka—“

And he freezes all of a sudden.

And genos also freezes bc he doesn’t know what to do Its saitama-sensei...he should know the script, he’s done it all before

But now saitama-sensei was the stranger and he longed for the comfort that came with saitama-kun’s toothy smile

But he too had changed....he was a cyborg now, weaponized arms and black sclera on full display. His core spun dangerously. Would saitama even recognize him? Would he remember that day in the classroom when they parted ways, that was only a few hours ago for genos but more than a decade for saitama?

Genos froze. Would saitama even want to remember? After all the heartbreak genos had caused him?

Lost in his thoughts, genos almost didn’t notice saitama approach until the soft crunch of asphalt right in front of him jarred him to reality

Genos held his breath

Saitama didnt say anything. Only let that sharp gaze pierce genos in ways no monster could.

Genos couldnt read what he was thinking, he never could on his sensei’s bland face but this time, there was something tightly guarded in those brown eyes.

Saitama muttered something so low that genos had to use his advanced hearing to pickup

S: “It cant be...”

Louder and taking an aggressive step forward, saitama clenched his hand into a fist. He narrowed his eyes. “...If you’re some kinda shape-shifting monster...this won’t end well for you.”

G: “It’s genos!! I’m...I’m genos.”

Saitama freezes and his eyes grow wide. Genos almost instinctively lurches foward when saitama falls back on his heels, appearing shaken.

S: ...genos?

Genos nods tentatively.

For a moment, saitama doesnt say anything. But genos finds he doesnt need to. Those brown eyes had opened and genos could see, could feel some far-flung emotions creep back into that achingly familiar face as saitama let his gaze trail from his new eyes down his circuited arms and linger on the glowing blue that peeked through his shirt

After what felt like years, genos saw a corner of saitama’s lips twitch.

S: “It really is you....Heh. You haven’t changed a bit.”

G: “Sai—“

S: "I tried to forget you. I tried to go back to life before you. I finished school .... somehow got a job as a shitty salesman..."

S: "...I really tried."

Genos looked down, ashamed. He had been the one to injure saitama so unforgivably. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like if saitama had done the same to him, if he had turned genos away from being his disciple. Kicked him out. How could you forgive someone who changed your world for the better, only to leave it behind?

More than anything, he needed to beg for forgiveness, not that he deserved it—but saitama did.

G: “Saitama, I—“

Sai shook his head, like he didn’t want to hear it.

Genos thought his core would crack.

S: “I thought...If I were strong, things would get better. If I were stronger than that person..maybe you would have picked me instead.”

S: “Maybe you would have stayed “

S: “I trained and trained until I became strong...but it wasn’t enough. To capture your attention, I had to be the strongest.” Saitama pauses and shoots him a small, cheeky grin that had echoes of the same toothy smile Genos cherished.

S: “I would have to be, to take care of someone as high maintenance as you.”

Then the smile faded. S: “But even after I became strong..what did it matter? You had left and I didn’t know if I would ever see you again. And if for some crazy reason i Did meet you again...I didn’t know if i had it in me to ask you to choose again..”

G: (full on oil tears, the whole shebang)

G: S-Saitama..!!

Saitama grinned helplessly at him.

S: “So hurry up and choose me, genos!”

G: “Sensei!!!” [ because I had already chosen you a long time ago ]

They hug.

THE END!!!!!!!!!!! :’D

There’s a small epilogue where sai’s like..you called me teacher again. Im still not a teacher you know (in reference to this original post: http://yiulee.tumblr.com/post/139194391025/time-travel-au ) .

And genos is like: dont worry sensei, ill explain it to you

And sai is like ah, okay? But first. surprise smooch! S: been waiting 12 years to do that :D 

/////

endless thanks to @konorai​ @batneko​ @egg-in-the-basket​ for bearing with me while i unloaded this beast into the discord chat..yall the real mvps!!! ;3; 

[randomthingsthatilike1]

It’s funny that I keep seeing things that act as if Lena would be the helpless one out of her and Kara and I absolutely adore Kara and the girl is a damn genius with super powers and picks up things fast, but growing up she also had to deal with extreme culture shock, PTSD, and along with powers sensory overload, to name just a few of the things about her childhood on Earth. She comes from a dying planet with insanely advanced technology and science—not really survival skills, and more so just trying to adapt and heal.

Lillian was teaching Lena chess at the age of 4. And say what you want about the Luthors, and there’s plenty, we see Lena working weekends, nights, hell Thanksgiving—she’s a CEO by 24, probably more than a few degrees. That kind of work ethic and drive (regardless if it’s actually healthy, it’s huge) didn’t come from nowhere. Every single skill Lionel and Lillian could cram into Lex and Lena, they probably did. Regardless of how Lillian might feel about Lena she’s going to have expectations, and at the absolute least if she’s going to have to be this girl’s mother she might as well make her useful, or someone for Lex to compete against, and Lillian loves Lex.

There’s no point to giving him a rival if that person isn’t pushed and given the same kind of preparation and training and education that he receives. And Lillian is someone who can be on the run from everyone and not get caught—that’s going to take more than just money, that’ll take skill. Not to mention running a black ops program with no one the wiser isn’t exactly on the list of things that a rich housewife can do.

Kara is from a technologically advanced planet—maybe a few days is fine but she’s probably so horrified not to be around any tech she only likes camping for the difference in her senses and all the pretty nature and landscape. Imagine if you went back to a time before indoor plumbing—and sure a week of it is fine but months and months???? No. It’s probably worse for Kara. She was p well supplied with tech, if the spy beacon that Astra had that had a signal that could be received anywhere was simply a child’s plaything—or if it wasn’t, and it was something she had because of Astra’s military connections, then who knows what else she had access to? She’s probably good with mechanics, to a certain extent because of her father the scientist—who created a damn rocket and taught her plenty about mechanical engineering—but they would have had different elements on Krypton. It’s hard to know how to build something when all the materials are different—Lena would be just as screwed if she was given Kryptonian materials from the get go.

But my point is, Lena is probably actual fucking MacGyver, or even better yet, the Supergirl version of Elliot Spencer. The Luthors definitely seem like the kind of people who have their kids be in Boy/Girl Scouts, because you never know when you might need those skills—they’re Luthors, they have people gunning for them from the cradle. You never know when you might need some of those skills, especially if you need to go off grid, or have to dump everything in a moment’s notice. Like I’m not making a definitive statement, except yes, yes I am if you gave Lena a knife and some decently warm clothes and set her off into a forest she’d probably be fine for however long she’d be there for. Lillian and probably Lionel seem like they would definitely hire a swim coach to make sure their strokes are textbook perfect, but first they’d absolutely and quite literally throw them in the deep end to teach them how to swim—the coach is about achieving perfection, and this is survival. And Luthors don’t depend on anyone else for that—the sooner they learn that the better.

A powerless Kara, on the other hand, would be absolutely fucked. She may have gone camping w alex but lbr kara definitely used heat vision to start a fire and has no idea what kind of clothes to pack or what to do about bug bites and maybe knows how to pitch a tent and some useful things that don’t rely on her powers but 5 minutes after losing her powers she cuts her hand on glass and breaks her arm—it’s not a matter of intellect, but it’s kind of like how astronauts look up when they drop a pencil—you get used to a certain baseline. Kara could definitely learn, but Lena already knows what she’s doing. Lena was taught she couldn’t trust on anyone but herself to survive and Kara was taught stronger together. This isn’t to say this is a failure of Kara’s that this isn’t her mentality—Kara has plenty of knowledge about science and alien cultures and technology and language and religion and understanding of people that Lena probably struggles with, especially in comparison. Kara was doing calculus at least since she was 4. Honestly out of the two of them she’s most likely better at science and math—but it’s probably painful for her bc it reminds her of Krypton, and it’s not like humans are going to be very accepting of a 15 year old trying to correct them on widely accepted theories. That would bring attention.

Kara was told to hide—Lena was told she wasn’t allowed to, that she had to be extraordinary because that’s what Luthors are.

We see in her very first episode she’s a marksman, able to shoot the man that had Alex hostage without even hesitation. We also see her Gerry rig that device at her charity under the table with a tiny bit of help from Winn, but not that much—that’s not exactly a lab setting.

The Luthors have so many back up plans and hidey holes that their family motto almost seems to be “be prepared.” Like Lena does not like Roulette and has 0 plans on ever going to her fight club but she knew exactly where the address was from the top of her head, without consulting a planner. And the fight clubs most likely rotate where they’re at—sure Roulette has connections but the DEO took Leslie Willis—if they don’t know about her she’s not going to bring her to their attention. And still Lena knew where it was, because it’s important to be prepared.

Or better yet—the Luthor motto might be all knowledge is worth having.

Lena probably picks up new skills in her “free time”—or really whatever time she has that she’s not working at her company, not able to simply lay around and do nothing. “You never know when you might need to know how to wrangle a crocodile kara” “You never know when an assassin might try to kill me while I’m on ice Kara” “You never know when you might need to know this very obscure and esoteric language Kara” “It’s a very distinctive sound and one day I might need to be able to distinguish between the sounds different guns make when cocked Kara” “Who knows if you’re ever in the mountains with only a paper clip and a hair tie Kara” “Kara it’s always useful to know how to be able to get out of a straight jacket without any help”

Kara is very confused about her strange nerdy friend but Lena feels such vINDICATION the first time something she’s been practicing requires her expertise you said it was weird to know how to competitively duck herd AND YET HERE WE ARE WITH A DEADLY ALIEN SPECIES THAT RESEMBLES IN SEVERAL WAYS DUCKS

tl;dr Lena would be absolutely fine wherever she’s dropped up to and including the woods or a farm with only the clothes on her back and a used tissue and after a week or so Kara would be clutching her phone wondering where the wifi is