#bc my grandma doesn't know :c

[butchcharliee]

.

[squirmydonnie]

CW: unreality/ nudity/ self harm?.

[its-chelisey-stuff]

y'all I'm not the brightest person when it comes to many things but, dear Sol, my dear, sweet, cheerful, tenacious, tiny Sol. DOES HE LOOK FREAKING DEAD TO YOU??

i mean, if she goes back to the past to try and prevent his attempted murder from happening and trying to catch the murderer in that timeline this doesn't have to happen BUT a) I don't think it's gonna be that easy b) why do I feel like we're gonna get back to this point? AND c) HE WASN'T FREAKING DEAD, SOL!

Should've waited until she knew for certain what his condition was. Cause again, this timeline wasn't that bad. If he is still breathing, there's a chance that he will wake up. Let's not abandon hope. Meanwhile, the face of his attacker was shown NATIONWIDE. Not to mention he's a super famous idol, with thousands (millions?) of fans. Someone is gonna see that bastard for SURE. There's social media! There's internet! There are cameras everywhere in S. Korea! istg this man is so stupid bc he got caught this time, in the last timelines everybody thought it was suicide.

Also there's this:

why would sunjae look for a watch that he wasn't all that interested in previous timelines? Sol ended up buying it. And what does grandma know? why she keeps saying these cryptic things?

[hoodharlow]

The Bae Area (insta AU)

AN: I got a few asks asking me more about this concept so I decided to revive the chapter I scrapped but while y'all wait here's an Insta AU. Cal petting gif by @uservalentine for my El Novio girlies, our faves make a cameo lol

Requested? A few anons

Warnings: Claudia haters and nosy fans

Word Count: n/a

•••

@'mdmupdates: Miriam at Jack's show in LA via Instagram Stories

•••

@'5sosupdates_: Calum and his gf seemingly are in San Diego. The 2nd video isn't cooperating but in the video Miriam Dominguez, Calum and Calum's gf were at Jack Harlow's concert in San Diego

@'miriamstan: my girls <3 also not Miriam with a fake septum piercing. I just know she's mad it's not gold like her necklace lol

@'claudiahater: can C-word not post Cal like we get it, he's your boyfriend 🙄

@'claudiaytfan: crazy how a few years back Claudia interviewed Jack for her college's radio station and now she's at his concert

@'5sosstanthatlikesclaudia: everyone thank Claudia for the Cal update 🥰

@'jackstan: this is so random

-> @'5sosstan: not really, Miriam and Claudia are besties and Miriam is friends with Jack. Someone literally commented above that Claudia interviewed Jack for a college thing. The video is probably on YouTube since Claudia uploaded several to her channel

View all 839 comments

•••

@'mdm: just me and this specific shade of green against the world <3

Also can't wait to show y'all a little something that I did with @'complex and @'jpl at my favorite place in the country aka @'SneakerStoreinOakland

@'jackharlow: you're welcome for the NB hook up

-> @'mdm: tyyy amiguis <3

-> @'mackshipper: miriam please get him out of the friend zone 😭

@'haileybieber: the best color on the best girl

@'shawnmendes: 😍

->@'shawnfan: *ariana what are you doing here*

-> @'mdmfan: wasn't he at Jack's show in LA 👀

-> @'shabrinaship: he was there with Sabrina Carpenter

@'miriamstan: Miriam finally did a sneaker shopping video

@'complex: our new record holder

-> @'mdmxjh: I don't even wanna know how much she spent 😭

-> @'sneakerhead: you mean how much her daddy spent, she doesn't do shit. She's just some rich girl that's appropriating sneaker culture

-> @'miriamfan: based on your profile you're just some white man that buys and resells shoes. If anyone is appropriating sneaker culture it's you, you ugly loser

View all 19,942 comments

•••

@'jackharlowsource: Jack via Instagram Stories

@'jackstan: who did he crop 😳🤔👀

@'jackfan: that def looks like Miriam’s hand and she was at his Oakland show

-> @'jhstan: she was also at the San Jose with her grandma

-> @'jackfan: I bet they're fucking. There's now way you go to 4 shows back-to-back just bc

-> @'miriamstan: y'all chill, she has a boyfriend. The other day she tweeted about how her man hit it and left her feeling nostalgic lmao

View all 359 comments

@'mdm: the bae area 🤍🤎🖤

@'saintclauds: the prettiest 🤍

@'jackharlow: not you cropping my girl

-> @'mdm: you know damn well she couldn't sit still. Also don't act like you're not above cropping

-> @'mdmxjh: *druski voice* what do you mean by that 👀

@'zendaya: 😍

@'lilnasx: the 3rd pic, okay tiddies

@'shawnmendes: ♥️

->@'mackshipper: como dice Demi Lovato 'GET A JOB, STAY AWAY FROM HER'

->@'2018shawn: omg I've been manifesting this since he broke up with canola oil 😫

-> @'mirawnship: I noticed he's been interacting more and more on her posts. He fits the guy in the middle picture 👀👀👀 plus we all know they stopped fucking around when he started to get close to the racist for the PR bullshit. Maybe they're a thing again

View all 21,394 comments

•••

@'jackharlow: More inspired than I've ever been...never had a better pen...never felt truly understood until now...I knew I was a star but I finally got the evidence...I'm the truth and I think it's finally setting in...I think they finally acceptin in

@'mdm: superstar ❣

->@'mdmxjh: no bc she used the same emoji to credit her bf on her post and Jack commented on it

->@'jackharlowfan: it's not that deep plus I'm pretty sure Shawn is her bf

@'urbanwyatt: they're not ready

@playthehomies: ⛲⛲⛲

@'claybornharlow: this one is gonna be a game changer

@'lilnasx: 🥵

@'jackstan: anyone see the video of Miriam and Jack leaving together 👀

-> @'jackgossipacc: it was her? All the videos I've seen were blurry so I couldn't make up the girl's face

View all 42127 comments

Taglist: @heavyhitterheaux @cherry4everrr ​ @carma-fanficaddict ​ @youngharleezy @youngharleezyxo ​ @babyharleezy ​ @that-90s-girllll ​ @alinaharlow @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @webinurcloset @gassyandsassy1 @jackharloww @awhore4moree @noescapricho-essentimiento @a-moment-captured @neon-lights-and-glitter @purecinnamonextract @whywontyoulovemecami @camificrecs

[sleepinggrigori]

hc ask: keerin, bc im self indulgent and wanna know ur thoughts but also annalise

Headcanon A:  realistic

Keerin: they still secretly enjoy presenting masc, but their enjoyment of it has been completely tainted by familial expectation to the point they've convinced themself it's not for them.

Annalise: when she heard the Lost Capulets for the first time, she knew she had to see them in person. the crosscountry drive to the city they play in is one she could have, if she tried, done in a few days. but she allotted weeks for it, solely so she could stop and visit all the roadside attractions she never got the chance to see when she was a kid on the road with her dad.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Keerin: ankle fetish

Annalise: in elementary, a chicken hid in her backpack and came to school with her and followed her around all day. she was so popular, everyone was amazed at how well 'trained' it was.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Keerin: a long time ago, you told me about how keerin had an eating disorder during their teen model phase, but they'd managed to recover. for a while there, they were doing really well, connecting and baking and being involved in their community. they were recovering while kai was getting worse. but now that they're with their grandma and her strict diets, theyre gonna relapse. as kai's getting healthier, keerin's getting thinner.

Annalise: in spite of how incredibly close they were as kids, her dad barely knows who she is anymore. he doesn't know about the angel stuff. he doesn't know about the smoking, or drinking, or depression. it's not that he hates her or has been ignoring her, he just... hasn't been home enough to see it. she didnt tell him when she left for her road trip. every time he calls, she lies, having made up an entire fake college schedule to feed him, just so he doesn't get worried or feel disappointed in her.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

Keerin: wore the POOFIEST dress to prom. hated it so much theure never ever gonna wear a poofy dress ever again.

Annalise: shes schrodinger's trans rn. she has some powerful trans vibes but i cant figure out how to make it work with her story.

[riverstardis]

series 32 episode 37:

alicia :(

oh isn't that the actress who played young yaz's grandma in doctor who?

lmaooo bea and rash trying to use the coffee machine i miss them sjdjsfjfd

leigh-anne🙄 apparently they're taking kiegan off the oxygen today and ethan said he'd be there but the eds really busy because there's been a coach crash so he says he's sure she'll be fine without him and mr barling knows what he's doing but she insists

alicia volunteering to go out to the crash to get away from eddie :(

connie's mad that she went without permission and ethan says he and bea will help with the backlog but then immediately leaves bea when he gets a text from leigh-anne. what are you doing man😭😭

oh no leigh-anne runs over to ethan and hugs him when he gets to paeds and he's uncomfortable and mr barling's starting at them😭😭😭 then when jonathan's gone she says they shouldn't have to skulk around in the shadows and she wants to tell people now that kiegan's no longer a patient... which is an interesting thing to say when they're standing next to his hospital bed... ethan says they need to be careful and he just seems annoyed tbh i think forgiving alicia snapped him out of whatever he thought he felt for leigh-anne lmao

oop ethan goes to speak to mr barling, presumably to try and convince him there was nothing inappropriate going on but it's too late lmao mr barling has clearly already figured it out and warns him that there are boundaries they don't cross and ethan's like "yeah, i admit, she has come to rely on my support more than i would've liked" which i think is probably true tbh, though obviously missing out a HUGE chunk of the whole story, bc she has become weirdly distrustful of every other doctor and will only trust him, and yeah he got way too involved with helping her with kiegan to appease his guilt about scott, but he never tried to isolate her or anything so i do believe he didn't want her to end up like this. mr barling's just like "i've seen too many careers cut short because of a doctor who has confused the personal and the professional. i hope you aren't about to add to that number." so true make him see sense. go onnn ethan break up with her i know you want to!

wall collapses on the coach with alicia, iain, sam, and their patient still inside :/

leigh-anne's sitting in reception waiting for ethan??? girl go home what is wrong with you??? he is not happy to see her and tells her that barling knows and she says she doesn't care "tell them all" and he says it's not that simple and he's broken rules doing this and she says he's done nothing wrong and tries to take his hand and he pulls away and eventually manages to convince her to go home. mmmkay now how long til she's back again

lmaoo david tells ethan his patient from the crash's "girlfriend was trapped inside, and by all accounts so was dr munroe" and ethan turns his head SO FAST SJJSDJFSJ soo you see why he's lost patience for leigh-anne😭😭😭

aww he looks so worried🥺

oh look who it is! she managed to leave for one whole scene. kiegan's lips are blue or something and elle rushes him through meanwhile leigh-anne's trying to get her to get ethan

sjsjdf jacob answers the phone and ethan rushes over and jacob tells him that their lot are fine and they're on their way with the patient and ethan says to keep him posted because "the boyfriend's out of his mind with worry" mhmm yep he wasn't the only one though was he?

iain's worried about how cold alicia looks but she says she's fine :/

elle literally got mr barling down to look at kiegan and he says he's breathing fine it's just cold outside but leigh-anne isn't happy she's demanding a second opinion from ethan. i'm sure elle's wondering why she would trust an adult doctor over a paeds doctor with considerably more years of experience

sam finds blake using her punch bag in the ambulance station and says he might as well do it right and demonstrates and he's staring at her in awe. yeah you and me both buddy

aww alicia collapses in resus and they ofc assume she's hypothermic because she's soaking wet and ethan leaves bea to observe dylan doing the procedure and takes alicia to resus 2 to warm her up and she's saying she's so sorry and he's like don't be silly🥺

awww bea comes to check up on alicia🥺🥺🥺🥺 hey listen, alicia has two hands🏳‍🌈 bea says she got soaked out there so no wonder she's hypothermic but ethan says her temperature's actually fine so alicia attributes her collapse to the day taking it out of her :(

alicia comments on how good bea is after she's gone and ethan says she's a fast learner and alicia asks if they can swap mentees for a bit and then she's like "we are friends aren't we?" and he's like "yeah? yeah, i hope so" and she's definitely about to tell him what happened with eddie but elle interrupts them to tell ethan about leigh-anne urghhh ffs

"ethan, you have an admirer! leigh-anne carr is demanded your professional attention for her baby and she won't settle for anything less" "leigh-anne's baby kiegan was discharged?" "well he's back. she said he wasn't breathing but his test results show that he passed with flying colours"😭

ethan reassures leigh-anne that mr barling is a brilliant paediatrician and she goes "yeah. he thinks a lot of himself." huh????

yesss finally he breaks up with her! "i made a mistake, and i'm so sorry, but that's what i do. i just make things worse." oh :((((( ethan PLEASE go to therapy

alicia was waiting for ethan but she gets a call from eddie and he leaves a voicemail saying he's going to come and find her at the end of shift so she leaves early :(

then ethan's looking for her and bea says she's gone home and he says he's worried about her getting home safely because she was so shaken up earlier and eddie offers to go and check up on her and ethan's confused why he would and says it's okay he can do it and rash is smiling at eddie and bea is also confused and asks rash if he's withholding gossip from her😭😭

aw alicia :(

oh shit that made actually made me jump too wtf😭 she looks in the mirror and sees eddie behind her (he's not actually there)

ethan's brought her a bottle of wine and says he was worried about her and they never finished their conversation and then says that he lied earlier about them being friends. WHY WOULD YOU PHRASE IT THAT WAY😭😭😭 she's upset and he clarifies that he means he doesn't think they can be friends because he's still in love with her🥺 yeah wbk bestie but you have TERRIBLE timing AGAIN😭 if he'd told her that literally 24 hours earlier they would've got back together and then eddie never would've had the chance to get anywhere near her :(

her reaction clearly isn't what he hoped for so he apologises for dropping that on her like that and goes to leave but she grabs his arm and says she has to tell him something but she needs a glass of wine first. noooo alicia JUST TELL HIM WHILE YOUVE GOT THE CHANCE

he goes to the kitchen to get glasses and sees a note eddie left on the fridge and assumes that was what she wanted to tell him and he's like "i'm so stupid. he offered to come round, i practically elbowed him out of the way." "ethan this is not what you think" "that's why you wanted to work with bea?" "no! well, yes, but not because i..." "i'm gonna go" "no, please don't!" "i'm such an idiot. i shouldn't have come." she's crying and begging him to stay but she can't say what she means properly so he just says it's fine and he'll see her tomorrow and leaves :((((

alicia burning her bedding😢😢😢😢😢

[uno-writing]

Berri its me im back how does it feel to not be spammed by me constantly

ok a few things

im sooo really sorry if I made u uncomfy with the name thing

ok so Ik like a few months I was "wAit HoW dO YoU NoT LiKe SeRA huhgsdajwgfudiwl" but ninety nine percent of the shit I said made no sense so lets forget that ask was even typed cuz its pretty embarrassing

oh and I haven't spammed ur inbox cus i went to Virginia for 2 weeks and my phone broke like the day we were leaving adsjkdsh and I had NO INTERNET unless my grandma let me use her iPad or my mom let me use her phone like a nine year old lmao BUT IT WAS HELL bc 1. no internet and 2. I had to sleep in the room as my sister and she hogs they tiny fan, but mostly no internet. makes me realize how addicted I am to my phone but its okay cuz its 2022 and everyone and their mother is addicted to the internet

anyways how was your day berri mine was good bc I (kinda) won a argument with a transphobe in the YouTube comments section

oh and while I was in Virginia I went to this boba place and got taro slush with boba (cmiiw but Im pretty sure that's seras fav) and it was rlly good like it was sweet but not too sweet but later I went to a diff place and got reg taro tea (not the slush) and it was kinda shitty but also first place I went to had these rlly cute keychains with mini boba drinks on them so yea

(tldr: taro slush boba is good but without it its shit imo)

this long ass ask is to make up for the lack of spamming ur inbox lately

ok bye

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

WELCOME BACK BESTIEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I WAS STARTING TO MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!

1.Dw about it!!! Its okay!!! You didn't know and you're not the first person to do it, and you're probably not the last person to either.

I feel really bad for how spicy the first pinned post update was 😅 There were a good number of people on here that were completely annoying me (not you bestie dwww!!!!!) and so I got super ticked off and redid the pinned post lmfaooo-

I've been slowly making edits to it so its less spicy but yeah even tho the name thing came off as super spicy to begin with, I wasn't super upset about the name thing lmao (i think i toned down its spiciness now? idk lemme know if i need to fix it more bc I dont wanna come off sounding like a bitch lmfao-)

2.Dw about that either lmao. Tbh out of all of the "omg??? you don't like/you do like *insert uno character*???? what?????" asks Ive gotten, you're was probably one of the nicest lmfaooo-

OMG HEYYYYYYYY YOU CAME TO MY HOME STATE! I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME!!!!! ASIDE FROM THE WHOLE NO INTERNET THING LMFAOOO-

Yeah you came right during a heatwave lmao I get the hogging fans thing, my house doesn't have A/C rn and its awful-

I had a goodish day lmao My college just told me that they've completely changed my course requirements so now I have to take a bunch of classes I dont want/idk how they'd apply to the major I'm in but oh well :D :D And then I took a big nap :3 :3

Oh heyyyyyyyy

I've had boba like 2 times and it was really good! But I'm really lactose intolerant and the place I went to only served milk tea so I just suffered afterwards lmfao

I THINK I COVERED EVERYTHING-

BEAUTIFUL LONG ASK!!!!!!

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Tuesday, February 20th, 2024!

8:20am: Phew, that was fun, back to business now 😎 business of being a bachelorette 🤪 it's so cold I need to hook up the heated blanket bc I did that thing where I crumple up in my sleep then the stomach and back hurt from literally constricting all night. Also need to do laundry so I can get my warm clothes, they're all wet and sickly 🙃 need to start studying today (RIP this quiz) and not get another L. And also not get sick again, I need to handle these gum blisters. High key this is what happens when I have to entertain for a weekend like I am immediately behind on just so much shit. But it's so worth it ❤️ I love my family

12:22pm: Well I just don't know anymore. Every time I think I've done the worst unimaginable thing, I seem to one up myself?? I'm inflicting the karma personally now, but I don't know how to say I truly didn't mean to. Maybe my subconscious meant to. I have no fucking idea. But can we talk about how I haven't seen rain like that in months, probably won't see it again for several months, like it was just a damn bad sign. I still just think it was part of his personal karma, I just really didn't think it would get wet like that bc it hasn't rained like that since the literal summer. I think he hates me now. Well. Ok I can't do anything about that. Welp. Just kinda have no words, I was literally in fight or flight mode and he will never understand that he's the fucking reason. Fight or flight is not a reasonable train of thought in that situation. No shit I did something that makes no sense I was shaking terrified. And he doesn't fucking realize he's the goddamn reason. Good riddance.

3:09pm: well I think he blocked me on everything. A rain storm took out 8 years of friendship. And this is the what, 900th time he's chosen material objects, replaceable possessions over me? 901st time he's chosen paper, a piece of paper, over speaking to me ever again I guess. I guess I'm the shitty person, not him who lied and cheated on front of my face, nope me, who was shaking too anxious freaking out in my apartment bc he threatened my brother five days before coming to town 🤷

3:39pm: maybe this is my karma for hitting on a guy in a relationship, we just are no longer friends. Well I guess she got what she wanted, he is getting what he wants, which is to finally be able to blame me for something, and I get to have them both out of my life. This is the world now. The world is still turning.

4:00pm: It's like he was just looking for a reason to block me, just like he was looking for any reason to cheat, to leave, to break up, to move out, any little thing that could be a provoking reason and just running with it. I'm done.

I know this is technically my fault, I have apologized. Everything still feels abusive though. I was just trying to save myself, I was being selfish. But um hello so is cheating. He's not better than me and in my opinion he's still much worse than anything I've ever done to him. It's just things.

I would hope if something is actually going to come of this, his grandma would give me a warning first or something. I want to call her but I feel like everything is too heated. Let me go home, blow my nose and use the bathroom, maybe I'll call her tonight.

4:48pm: TBH we always talk about forgiving these stupid assholes. Why don't I forgive myself for this? I forgive myself. Even if I did it subconsciously, even if I was being a bitch in the back of my mind (I really don't feel this way) it's more like I was just tired of thinking about it! And look at me, thinking about it now. It's over. Whatever. He wants to take me to small claims or something? Whatever I'll live. He wants to run a smear campaign on me? Didn't he already do that? I'm still alive. He wants to take the cats as revenge? I'll live, they'll live, life goes on. If something happens to them that will be his shit I guess. I forgive myself and C said it, I'm already being Way. Too. Nice. Everybody would agree with me. I can't even bring it up bc ppl will be like ?? You still talk to him ?? Ppl would be so confused. I did the best I could without causing myself unnecessary stress on a weekend when I didn't want stress. Was I journaling this weekend? Fuck no there was a reason for that, because I was actually being happy living life. That's why y'all didn't hear from me tf. Healing continues though so we're back, still gonna push forward though.

5:19pm Damn yeah he blocked me on everything! What was even the point of speaking to me. That's fucked up to confront someone about something, something so materialistic, and then not accept an apology. Whatever. Good luck with life, good luck being a petty ass mf, acting like you're some heaven on earth angel who can do no wrong, fuck you.

5:34pm: I told my brother what happened, and he helped me feel better, I wish he lived closer to here but texting is ok now :) my family is just everything ❤️ I tried my best, it's over now, like a fever dream. On to find someone else to give my love and effort to 🥰 I'm just gonna give it to myself for now.

[suchsaccharine]

I feel I am in a stalemate. He has shown me and told me that he's not going to try to improve himself or his relationships with me and ___ by seeing a therapist just once even, of course not ..bc there nothing wrong with him. He told me straight up, this is what I'm offering you, nothing more, if you don't like it then figure it out and leave.

Today is the 3 yr anniversary of finding out i can't have kids (naturally, realistically.) and I'm getting my period tmrw and I am struggling so bad with $ so bad my bank account is about to overdraft and I have nothing coming in to look forward to rn. Anyway today I cried and my body hurt and I developed tensions headache that turned into a migraine and I never had one before. It was so bad. And my back is fucked and I'm crying all emotional about everything. My grandma, ___’s baby pics that are lost from my drives suddenly -don't ask I can't talk about it but idk what or how it happened. I saw them not long ago and now everything from exactly Feb 'xx-May 'xx is GONE. I'm devastated to say the v least-, my baby I won't have, having to plan Christmas rn around how sad everyone is about my grandma...like they are allll fucked up in Ohio. I have to go see them. Bf is taking me and ___ for Xmas for 3 days. I told bf this evening .... (hang on I'm gonna c&p a twt I posted to I don't retype.. here..) I said "I am proud of myself for getting thru the past 2.5+ months bc it was grueling work everyday just staying alive… it was so heavy I just started blocking things out entirely the week before finals. But I made it. And I didn’t feel like I would/could.. (2/2) I told my bf exactly what I just posted and his response was to put his face into the back of the couch and start falling asleep until I made the bed for him to lay on w a pillow over his head. Nice. I am completely dumbfounded. I feel like I am an idiot… I am so publicly dumb."

He said that I said a lot and he didn't know what to say and I said that's fine and then he hasn't spoken to me since except to answer "no" when I ask if I said something wrong out there.

I just need more emotional support than he can even detect. How did I end up so entwined with someone so emotionally undeveloped? How did I not see? He tried to control me and I put my foot down and then he tried turning on ___ and I again put my foot down and told him that this isn't working and I will do what's best for ___. He told me that he's not changing his parenting or anything at all so if I don't like him then I need to decide on that. I do like him I just don't like certain things. Some that you can change, like parenting style. Others not as easily, like learning to feel compassion and how to hold space & grace in good faith. How to be there when someone is sad. How to silently be there but not ignore them. I think that I love him but I also think that I will always find myself unfulfilled and resentful that he cannot or will not be there for me emotionally. He no longer has the role of step parent. It probably seems mostly the same to ___ but bf doesn't make any decisions at all. I told him we need to agree or compromise and if no compromise can be had, then we default to what I want. He said no it's all you now. If it's all me then...we're putting on a show for ___. We aren't cohesive. He said he stands by his methods and is unwilling to change that or compromise, so he is like ..resigning? I need some real money and fast. I need a house for ___ and my cats and where I can get ___ a dog. I need a job that pays enough while I also finish school... I probably realistically need to go to the gym for real and stop eating carbs and processed food and get back into sex work. I can't dance cause of my back but I know how to make more money anyway. I can do it. I can do this. I can leave someone I love because they don't have the tools to be there for me in ways I need it most.

I don't need anyone else. I can make my own money. I can pay my own bills and fix my own teeth and maintain my own car.. I can.

[artqueen02]

Okay so I put a rather long tag response on this post, then realised after pressing reblog that Tumblr cuts it off after a certain amount of tags or something, and I was going to post this as a reblog but thought better of it, realised that this could apply to more than just this situation, and decided to make it an original post (although I did just copy-paste what I was going to reblog it with so it probably will make more sense if you check out the original post, not 100% necessary though.

(But please do check it out it's important)

I've put it under a cut bc it gets pretty long

Ahh I always forget that once I get past a certain number of tags tumblr just doesn't show the rest which is annoying but here we go again.

Here's what I had so far:

#Oh shit ok I didn't know this#Will be trying to remove this from my conscious speech immediatedly#I would like to say though (This gets really long be prepared)#(bear with me on this)#At a glance#many of these responses are either people being like#'Oh shit okay I didn't know this I won't use it any more'#(Very much like my response)#or it's people getting so annoyed/angry at people who just genuinely don't know#like guys please#I do genuinely understand that this is a terrible thing and fuck it makes me angry as well#But!#Getting angry at the people who actually don't know about it isn't gonna help!#tell people about it!#spread the word!#But remember lot's of people probably picked it up from fandom or similar spaces#and spaces like that are filled with young people!!!#People who probably had no exposure to this!! people who#Just#Didn't#Know#And That's ok!!!#It's okay to not have the information about it#I'm not trying to justify the term or the way it's used legally#But sometimes#It's okay to not know about something#even something that could be potentially harmful#Ignorance is not a crime!!!#What's bad is the people who know about it but continue to use it#(Conciously!!! It can be hard to completely scrap an entire common phrase from you everyday vocabulary. and mistakes are ok! it happens)

And here's the general gist of the rest of what I was saying:

And the people who use this as a legal defence! And the people who accept/condone this being used as a legal defence!

Speaking as a young person myself, 'The News' isn't as big a thing anymore! and the likelihood of them even putting something like this in it is so slim! augh! And I really haven't been sheltered at all but like I hear about things through my friends, my teacher/classmates, my family, tumblr, and the radio in the car once in a blue moon. If there's a car crash like two streets away from my school I don't know about it unless a) I see it, b) someone in my class or one of my friends says something about it, or c) my grandma starts an hour long conversation about it. There's a murderer on the other side of the state? I only know about it if a friend mentions it from a murder podcast or if mum is like 'well this is one of the reasons I don't want you to go to this completely unrelated place in broad daylight with lot's of people around, two friends, and your friend's mum working literally a five minute walk away'. Now, you may be questioning where the fuck I'm going with this and how this relates to the term 'gay panic' but my point is, we don't really hear about current events anymore, and if we do it's like an add about stocks or bitcoin or how apparently china is going to kill the Australian Currency, or its something about America, which, let's face it, are they really going to put something like this in the news and it'll get broadcasted to other countries? no. or it's election time and we see peoples faces on stobie polls everywhere being like 'this is the reason you should vote for me!' and I'm like 'I don't care that's a completely irrelevant thing and I didn't even know it existed until five seconds ago!' or something similar. also! this was literally abolished where I live when I was like nine or ten, which, not great but also just serves my point that SOME PEOPLE JUST DON"T KNOW!!!!!

I cannot emphasise the extent that I have not been shelter at all enough without going much further into my personal life then I would like to right now, and I do know that I'm probably speaking from a place of privilege, but my point is.

Lot's of people

Genuinely

Don't

Know

AND THAT"S NOT A CRIME!!!!

Don't get angry at them for ot know, tell them about it and give them as much information as they ask for that you have or you know where to get, because otherwise they're just going to either a) get angry right back at you or b) feel like shit about themselves because they didn't know this thing and used a harmful term without knowing because they thought it was fine, so many people around them who are also of the same community use it after all. And do you really want either of those outcomes? it's not productive, it's not helpful, really, it's the opposite at both those things.

Just guys, please. don't get mad at someone for not knowing

[iwishyouwuju]

Sex Education theory about Aimee - Maeve - Ruby

I have a Sex Education head canon:

Maeve and Ruby were friends even before Ruby knew Olivia and Anwar.

Why did I come up with this hc?

Well because I was re-watching season 3 and I did not really understand why having a "small house" could lead Ruby into being the "mean girl" at school. Her father was diagnosed with sickness only recently (a year ago when season 2 happened) so she had a relatively normal childhood. Unlike say if you compare it to Adam who had Mr. Groff as a father, Ruby's dad seemed like a loving dad. So why build the defenses she put up?

I also keep thinking why was Maeve usually the receiving end of jabs from the untouchables when according to Eric, "Maeve's the coolest girl in school"? She isn't exactly the type to be bullied exhibited by the scene in s1e01 where she punches the guy who told her "nice rack", Maeve fights back... except when it comes to Ruby.

Okay let's start with my reach! 

Ruby and Maeve’s friendship and how it ended.

Say they were childhood friends up until their teens. What drove them apart? Remember the name "c 0 ck biter" and how Maeve explained to Otis how she got the name. There was a guy called Simon who tried to kiss her but she said no when they were 14 years old. I was thinking what if ruby fancied THAT guy? and Maeve knew that's why she said no? but like in typical movies, Ruby saw the guy going for the kiss and left before she even saw that Maeve rejected? (it's a “mean girls” drama type of thing but that's where the untouchables came from anyway)

Obviously, young Ruby was hurt and when people are hurt they can become cruel (there are several instances in the show). So when Simon, the guy she liked, told the fake story around school.. Ruby believed it. It was easier to hate Maeve when she believed that story. Maybe Maeve and Ruby had a confrontation about it maybe not.. but Ruby made up her mind. This also could've been the start where Ruby started the cool act. She learned how school "works" -- that by staying on top of the popular crowd there has to be people at the bottom.

Which begs the question "How come Maeve doesn't stand up against Ruby?" I have some answers for this:

Maybe Simon and Ruby briefly got together and her fighting back will make it seem that Maeve is just jealous so she didn't try to dispute the rumors anymore.

Whenever the untouchables bring up how "poor" Maeve is (ie. her appearance, her living in a caravan), I think Maeve knew Ruby enough to discern that it's Ruby's defense mechanism. Perhaps Maeve even knew that Ruby doesn't also live in a grand mansion and didn't want to mention it because that would just be low. And Ruby also knows that Maeve is relatively poor so she continued to pile on in fear that if she ever did say something, kids at school would be suspicious that maybe she's also poor. I observed this is a behavior she does when she's the one being in the conflict. In s1e05, when Ruby's nude photo got leaked she immediately threw out Maeve's name as a scapegoat.

It was not worth it anymore because Maeve dealt and is dealing with heavier problems such as her brother leaving her, her mom being an addict and taking off too etc.

Now we connect the details that I got from Aimee. 

In s1e1, Aimee seemed like a new addition to the untouchables bc she doesn't seem as close to them and doesn't know what are their usual "cool protocols".

In contrast, Aimee’s conversation with Maeve made it seem like she's been with friends with her longer (opening up about Adam, playing in their hiding spot etc).

I think Maeve and Aimee are friends the year before but at the end of that school year Aimee got "invited" to be with the cool kids so she joined and Maeve is not the type to dwell on that popularity stuff anymore but she saw that Aimee felt glad to be considered one of the cool kids so she didn't want to say something. She also didn’t even mind that Aimee wanted to keep their friendship as a secret.

Now in season 1 episode 5, we see Ruby tackle a conflict about her nude photo getting leaked. Interestingly, she felt vulnerable enough to ask Maeve for help. “I don’t know who else to ask” she said. 

Not only that but I think this is the first scene she actually opened up to someone!! Maeve is the first person she opened up to not Otis when she shared a bit of her home situation about her grandma. And in this scene it’s like Maeve’s guard is also down because she laughed! She only really laughs around people she’s comfortable with.

Now what did Maeve do when Ruby opened up to her?? She symphatized with Ruby and didn't even take her offer of payment. [Now this is a stretch for me because I still liked the idea that even if Maeve didn't have a past with Ruby, she would still help her.]

Now at the end of episode 5, when both Maeve and Otis cracked the mystery on who was threatening Ruby, Otis asked Maeve "How did you know it was a girl?"

Maeve figured out that it was a girl who leaked Ruby's photo and not the boys Ruby had a fling with because Maeve understood how cruel a girl's revenge can be because she experienced it too!

After that episode where Maeve helped Ruby, I thought maybe Ruby would change. In season 2 we still see her calling Maeve names. So I’m still left wondering "Why would Ruby still call Maeve a c 0 ck biter after all the help she got from her?"

This is where Aimee comes in again. Remember the scene "I am dumping you for her." where Aimee drops Ruby and the rest of the gang for Maeve? What if Ruby took that a bit personally? I mean at that point her personality was still "Everyone knows who I am and everyone loves me." But it also had layers because not only did Aimee dumped Ruby (+anwar and olivia), Aimee replaced them with MAEVE and that maybe triggered Ruby to remember her past issues with Maeve.

Soooo yeah that’s my brain dump. Idk I just love Ruby’s growth but I re-watched season 1 episode 1 and I started to wonder the deeper meaning of her actions. This headcanon of mine gives her depth on why she acts like that at school.

For season 4, I think I would want her and Maeve to have a conversation. And her having the initiative to say sorry to Aimee for treating her badly as a friend and then Anwar and Olivia would hopefully follow too. I also would want her to be a team player in saving Moordale just like in season 3 where she faced Hope. I would like to see Anwar and Olivia helping her move on too and in the process letting them in strengthening their friendship more. Because the show really does friendships well and I feel like that would be the full circle character development I would have wanted to see from Ruby. 

Disclaimer: I haven’t fully re-watched from season 1 - 3 I just got the screenshots from scenes I remember and skipped to those. There may be actual details that I missed that disproves my theory but yeah I was having fun with this narrative.

[onlydreamofmysoul]

TW // su!c!dal thoughts, s3lf-harm, mental health issues

hey, im not sure if this is weird or makes you uncomfortable (which i dont want, im sorry if thats the case) bc we dont know each other but i have no one that i can talk to so i decided to talk to a stranger on the internet and the way you answer your asks is very calming, you seem like a very nice person.

I've been struggling with my mental health for the past 4 years and things just went downhill from then on. i had a friend that i could talk to and i did talk to her a lot, but a few weeks ago she just blocked me, so I've been kinda alone with this since then. my mum knows something is wrong with me bc i told her a year ago bc i couldn't hold it in much longer, and she promised she'd help me go to a doctor and maybe find help. its been a year and nothing happened and i cant do it alone.

I've s3lf harmed in the past (only that one friend knows that) and I constantly have su!c!dal thoughts. right now its 2 am and im alone and i just dont want to be alive but im also scared and dont want to make my parents go through all that. (my grandma d!ed last december and i know how expensive a funeral is now; i couldn't burden them with that) and i just dont know what to do. im not a danger to myself or others though, i promise. i guess i needed to get this off of my chest? to talk to someone that doesn't know me?

again, im sorry if this bothered you or made you uncomfortable, that was not my intention, but thanks for 'listening'.

Hi there💕

First off, I’m really sorry you’re going through this! It’s definitely not an experience I would wish on anyone.

There’s definitely lots of resources out there for you! I don’t have the link rn but I’ll reblog this post with some, but they can be limited and I really very highly recommend talking to your parents again.

I know you’ve said it to them and nothing was done, but sometimes you have to be more insistant. They might not have grasped the extent of the problem or for all they know, they might think you’re doing a lot better now! I would really recommend going to them again and sorting them down and explaining that you’re in a very difficult place right now and you absolutely need help. I know it’s hard and awkward, these things are never easy but I really think you’ll be all the better for it.

I totally know what you mean about needing to talk to someone you don’t know which is why I also hope you’ll try get some professional help if you’re able. You’re absolute not a burden but I think you know that you need a little help. We all need help with things sometimes! And that’s okay!

I’m not sure how eloquent this is, my brain is spacing out a little but I hope it helps even just a little?

Sending lots and lots of love 💕💕💕

[sapphosvioletts]

I’m sorry about your necklace 😞. A couple of years ago I lost an earring from a special pair my grandparents gave me. They were my first pair of dangling ones rather than the ones you can actually snap and secure in place. And it just slipped out of my ear somewhere during the day. I was INCONSOLABLE. More so b/c they were from my grandparents. They ended up buying me a second pair, but those weren’t the original. I know I was ridiculous, but…yeah. -🎭

it's okay, thank you. that's not ridiculous at all!! i have a necklace that i always wear (i literally never take it off i wish i was joking lol) that my grandma gave me before she died and i thought i lost it once and i was a WRECK. thankfully my mom found it in her car, but since then i only take it off if i have to. so i completely understand, and i'm really really sorry that they got lost

i just now actually got done tearing apart my dance bag (again) trying to look for it bc that's where i put it, but it had to have fallen out somewhere when i was leaving. i think i may have found the exact same one, though on their website there's no image but i found a photo of it on pinterest and it brought me to the same exact link, so hopefully that means it's the same one! it's not the same as my actual one, but it'd make me feel a little better

i'm literally allergic to the necklace (i'm allergic to nickel lol) but i still wore it all the time bc i loved it so much. but i guess i am at least a little glad that it was this one and not my grandmas or my other one i wear a lot that my friend gave me. but still, doesn't make me any less sad lol

and if that is the same necklace, on the website it has a warning that says "This product can expose you to chemicals, known to the State of California to cause cancer" and now i'm really nervous about buying another one but i need another one i'm literally so attached to that necklace so now i don't even know what to do

[robinsnest2111]

indirectly tagged by @lampmeeting

it's not part of the original thing but I'm gonna add a silly little self portrait as well~

Questions to get to know you a little better:

1. What do you prefer to be called name wise? Robin or any kind of nickname related to that you can come up with lol Some of my favourites are Rob and Robble

2. When is your birthday? November 21st

3. Where do you live? A little town in Niedersachsen (Lower Saxony), Germany. Known for being the summer residence of a royal bloodline some 200 years ago. Yes there's a castle :P

4. Three things I am doing right now? Trying to forget the nightmare I just woke up from, thinking about getting a few more clementines from the kitchen and fininishing a little sketch I started yesterday

5. Four fandoms that have piqued my interest: Metalocalypse (ofc), Hogan's Heroes, Ghost BC, What We Do In The Shadows. Those are the main 4 at the moment but there's always a chance for other fandoms to take over for a bit.

6. How has the pandemic been treating you? ....yeah. Not so great. My grandma died suddenly at the start of the pandemic, I had to leave my internship I was super happy at early because of lockdown, finished my last semester at college with horrible online classes, had to move back in with my parents, cut contact with someone I've known almost all my life, barely passed my finals, still on the hunt for a job (started applying to places in September) and am close to losing it any day now lol Also pandemic means no flea markets which was one of the few things keeping my brain happy and occupied while giving me a chance to ride my bike around the region for hours :^(((((

7. Song(s) I can’t stop listening to: Sadly no particular song coming to mind right now, but I've had Ghost's entire discography and Dethalbum I, II, and III on rotation for months now lol. This Toss A Coin To Your Witcher Remix has also been stuck in my head for a while and is always worth a listen (Also have some silly techno/hardstyle remixes stuck in my brain permanently because I listened to them as background noise while trying to make my final college projects somewhat decent. Terence Hill & Bud Spencer - Lalalalalala, Da Tweekaz - Jägermeister, Star Wars Hardstyle, DJ Ötzi - Anton aus Tirol, Das Leben des Brian - Schwanzus Longus)

8. Recommend a movie: The Road to El Dorado by Dreamworks, a children's movie, I know... Each song is an absolute banger tho (even the German versions!), the jokes are silly but fun, the queer/gay hints add that little spice that I subconsciously picked up on and felt comforted by as a kid and the design of the everything is just (chef's kiss) Also the chemistry between the 4 main characters is gud as heck. It's the childhood movie I latched on to the most, my mother had to rent the dvd almost every single day until I bought a copy myself lol

9. How old are you? 24 orz I don't feel like it at all...

10. School, university, occupation? Finished college in August, unemployed because no one wants to hire in the creative field during a worldwide plague :^)

11. Do you prefer heat or cold? As long as it's under 35°C I prefer heat. My hands and feet are icicles 95% of the time after losing weight :^(

12. Name one fact others may not know about you? Since I'm an expert oversharer you probably know almost everything about me already orz But uhhh. Lemme see... I learned how to operate a laundry machine at the ripe old age of 20 at my internship at a hair salon lmao My mother never had the nerve to show me how on the modern machine we have at home (along the lines of "you will fuck it up anyways so let me do it >:^(((" which is an overarching theme in her raising me lol), but the older machine with the simpler dials at the salon was a good start to learn and honestly one of the things at this internship I'm still super grateful for...

13. Are you shy? Oh hell yeah I am... It's all the years of getting only negative feedback for trying to interact with others lol

14. Preferred pronouns: He/Him mostly, still figuring out if I still like they/them or nah (since in German there are no neutral pronouns that aren't neopronouns I've automatically gotten more attached to he/him lol)

15. Biggest pet peeves: I feel so mean for admitting it but honestly: Any noises my parents make. If I'm having a particularly bad low brain energy day even hearing them breathe makes me wanna run away and scream in anger... (Doesn't irk me with anyone else tho, which is weird...)

16. What is your favorite "dere" type? Oh there's more than 4 types now?? I've always liked Kuudere types the most out of the original 4 types, but I guess Shundere and Utsudere are right up my alley too!!!

The Kuudere (クーデレ), sometimes written Coodere or Kūdere, type refers to a character who is often cold, blunt, and cynical. They may seem very emotionless on the outside, but on the inside they’re very caring — at least when it comes to the ones they love.

The Shundere (しゅんデレ) type refers to characters who are sad and very depressed. While a full smile on their face might be out of the question, their love interest can help them open up and feel accepted.

The Utsudere (うつデレ) type refers to a character who is often sad and depressed. There is a reason for the character’s despair such as being bullied at school. Even if their life improves, they are often wary of other characters’ motives.

17. Rate your life 1-10? Maybe a 4? 4.5 at max

18. What is your main blog? The one I'm posting this on lol

19. List all your side blogs and what they’re for:

yorkiesart - old as hell and inactive artblog

bleedingheartbird - very triggering and depressing vent blog :^(

yorkie2111 - my very first username, a sea and ocean themed aesthetic blog now mostly for when I miss Denmark a whole lot (kinda inactive)

robinsartnest - a second attempt at a separate art blog, inactive as well lol

20. Is there anything people should know before becoming friends with you? I'm a clusterfuck of several undiagnosed mental illnesses and probably other conditions that I'm trying to figure out and deal with on my own until I can get professional help and some diagnoses. At times I'm weird and distant and overall very depressed and unpleasant, I've already hurt so many people this way and am trying to be better every single day. Basically I've never been given the "How to properly Human" manual and am frantically trying to get it right without hurting too many innocent people in the process.

Anyway, if you are nice to me I will love you forever ♡♡♡ :'3c

idk who to tag so if you wanna do this, do it~

[thank-you-pete-archive]

Hey, regarding my Spider-sona/spider-oc commission post, this is kinda what the drawing would look like, if you'd want one. It doesn't cost anything, and all u gotta do is dm me or send in an ask w/ the description! Also, this is my dude, not someone else's. (Click for better res. Thanks Tumblr for killing quality. Who is she? It don't know her.)

Now, lets do this one lest time. Final round:

This is Peter Philip Parker. Shut up, he knows it's all P's. In his world, he's in the year 2938 and he lives in New Fuji. He was bit by a radioactive spider 3 years ago, and has since been the one and only Spider-Man(also known as Green-Dragon Spider. This comes into play with his powers).

There was a project that was testing radioactivity on living organisms. Peter, 11 at the time, was job shadowing a scientist who was working on this, and for some reason, decided to take him in the room because he was a quiet kid who didn't get in the way. Peter was just studying what they did and how they tested, and then they brought out a spider. It had already been radiated when it was dropped and the spider was free from the cage. It bit Peter as the last thing it ever did before dying. The radiation was too much for the spider to handel, and it died.

No one saw the spider bite Peter, and he pretended like it never happened. He pretended to find it dead, and the scientists quickly got him out of there. After that, you know the rest, he gets his powers and stuff. Has to figure it out on his own. Peter actually thought he was gonna die, but he's all good.

He starts to get the hang of his powers, which are different from the others, but he does have spidey sense and supper strength. His powers come from his spit, because it's acidic. He spits in a tube every hour because if he doesn't the acid will eat away at his mouth and insides(he learned the hard way). He uses his spit to fill up these acid pockets in his suit. That mask on his suit catches acid that he spits out and puts it in the suit as well. When there's enough acid in the pockets he can trigger them to pop and burn whoever he's fighting. Whatever acid doesn't leave the surface of thesuit gets absorbed back in to be used later. His extra eyes on the suit are cameras that he uses to enhance peripheral vision while fighting. He has web wings like the one's in homecoming, where he can deploy them at will but also make them go away. He can also have acid soaked webs as well as normal webs.

Green dragon is a drug term(i think?? I saw it on synonyms for acid like the drug so) and his wings kinda make him look like a dragon. He also has the fang like shape for his mouth opening that looks like dragon fangs?? Ya, but he made the suit by himself and his current one seen in the pic is his 24th version that he plans on sticking with.

He's a big nerd, but sucks at school. He hates most of the things that they teach at his school and all the science stuff is too easy for him. The only class he has an A in is art bc he loves art. Oh, he's a Freshmen in Highschool btw(for people outside the US that means he's 14-15 years old, if ur not held back). He isn't failing any of his classes, he just doesn't do well on purpose and gets C's in his classes. He plays oboe in the school band as well. He kinda likes that class, but he isn't very passionate about it.

and, yes i have to add spideypool bc i love them sm, he's in love with this kid, oh, you might know him. His name is Wade. Wade is the goalie for their school soccer team. They have math together, and science, and literacy, and history. They're in the second to lowest classes for all of those categories. That's another reason Peter's grades suck, because he want's to be in the same class as Wade. Anyways, they're also p good friends and Wade just thinks that Pete is doing this bc they're friends. Wade IS Deadpool as well, but his suit is made of metal thats woven to look like a cloth material instead of leather. He's also more high-tech. Spidey made his suit bc tbh Wade's too stupid to do any of that.

Peter's middle name, Philip, was his grandpa's name, who died of natural causes before Peter was born. Peter's parents were killed in a car crash when he was a baby, and was given to his Grandma and Aunt to be raised. His Aunt lives with his grandma to keep her company and to take care of her.

Oof that was long, sorry. Anyways, commission me if you want!!