#bc of his insecurity so when he started to grow past that he was suddenly 'OOC'

[discordiansamba]

I do think the VLD fandom as a whole has a problem with wanting things in the series to stay stagnant. This is why it got so up in arms because characters (checks hand) went through character development. Like they're supposed to do. Which is a good thing. Could that development be clunky at times? Sure. We all know VLD's writing wasn't the best. But a character going through development and reasonably changing as a result of that isn't the character being OOC. They've just grown and changed.

[transpat]

bad buddy's storytelling is so grounded in their present it barely gives us snippets into their past to clue together how they feel about the other (like when exactly pran fell and how pat too had been in love all along) and then there's other things that aren't clearly explained but if u think about it along w the facts we were presented it suddenly does.

like pat and ink. through out ep 4 and 5 it was the only thing i could think about bc i understand them not dating bc ink's a lesbian but that pat hadn't tried at all? that he never confessed before? i mean after pran left, ink was still there, she was w him for two years so why hadn't he ever made a move? it makes sense if u look at the 'pat's always been in love' perspective. both times, his interest in ink arose bc of her (possible) proximity to pran and while he did like her, his romantic interest started as misdirected jealousy. so it makes perfect sense that his feelings would disappear as soon as pran was removed from the equation. not just his jealousy but pat had projected his crush on pran to others too, and he did like those girls he dated in the past he's not that kind of asshole (it is possible to like more than one person at a time too so). but from the beginning for him, it's always been pran.

that's why pran being removed from his life makes him lose interest in the girl he likes so drastically he doesn't bother pursuing her. or maybe he still liked her but didn't care enough to try. or maybe he was so heartbroken he forgot everyone, everything else.

in ep 5 after he realizes w an irrefutable certainty that he's in love w pran, his first impulse is to turn to ink and confess to her. he's testing it out, seeing if those feelings for ink were ever there, and if they were, was it strong enough to make him care. she gives him the answer to both.

but turning to ink is also that one rare instance of pat running away, of pat choosing cowardice. he's at a stage rn w pran where pran doesn't even want to be friends w him, so what happens if pran finds out he's in love? since their separation pat's had this deeply rooted fear of losing pran and then realizing he loved pran and could possibly lose him was like ripping band-aid off a fresh wound. like a knee jerk reaction, he tries to rid of anything that could possibly snatch pran from him. he's done that in the past, he recognizes that now. each time he'd redirect his feelings for pran on some other girl was so that pran wouldn't grow distant from him, and he knows that w time he'd start to genuinely like her so he doesn't think what he's doing is wrong. but ink rejects him and hauls him back to his senses.

that's why i love that whole scene so much. we see pat, who's usually such a selfless, rational, good person, become someone selfish, senseless and cruel. previously we saw how far he goes in helping pran bc he's afraid to lose him, but a desperation that strong obv has an ugly edge, his unresolved insecurities would naturally fester. he's lucky it was ink, lucky it was one of his best friends. if it was someone who didn't know him that well, he would have made a mistake. if it was someone who was interested him that way, he would have hurt them. but its ink, who knows who understands. so he's relieved when she turns him down, she saved him.

ik ink's known about pranpat for a while, but during the hotpot date when she asks pat if he ever liked her at all, u realize she's known all along. that pat's initial interest in her was born out of his need to separate her from pran and even this time he simply fell into the same rabbit hole. pat did like her in the past and he liked pran at the same time. things were different now. pran was much closer to him than he's ever been, pran's been letting pat into his room, even let him stay the night, and now pat doesn't want anything else.

ink's been the one person who saw their story beyond the façade they were putting up, she's the one who provided them a safe space to nurture their friendship in school and their romance in college, she's the steady support they'd dearly needed. she's so important to the story and particularly to pranpat, and to see a female character in bl written as the bridge that brought the leads together, the catalyst that pushed them into action, instead of some pathetic, poorly written obstacle was refreshing and wonderful. (they even gave her a gf as a bonus!!) ik the story was centered heavily on pranpat and i love that the leads were the focus of their own show, esp since they're such wonderful characters, but if we get a sequel or spinoff god i hope they center it on her i wanna know everything about ink.

[chaeryybomb]

nct dream reaction to their idol!reader girlfriend being shipped with another idol

anon: nct dream reaction to their idol!reader girlfriend being shipped with some other idol :) love your works btw. and thank you for this in advance

pairing: nct dream x idol!reader

genre: headcanons, fluff, crack

warnings: mentions of insecurities

a/n: dhsjdj technically my requests are closed rn but I decided I would write this out so I hope you enjoy this!

mark lee

confused boi™

tbh he wouldn't even notice you were being shipped with another idol until another member points it out

you were a special guest mc for the show and fans saw the cute interactions you had with the boyz juyeon

and soon enough fans started shipping the both of you together

in reality, you and juyeon were just high school friends and you were glad to see him again

fans on the other hand,,

mark didn't realise you were being shipped with juyeon until doyoung pointed it one day

and mark was all like

( ・◇・)？"nani? y/n and juyeon???"

he would then search up ynjuyeon on twitter because cough yeah

and found a shit ton of edits of the both of y'all

and now he's sad :((

he's sad that because no one shipped y'all together

"isn't your relationship a secret???"

"yeah but still :((("

mark sweetie y'all have neve interacted on stage before fjdjdndnd

he knows you love him and would never cheat on him

but boy is he going to be a pouty baby when y'all hang out next time

literally all he's going to say is:

"why do they ship you and him together?? why not me :(("

"mark they've never seen us in the same room before"

huang renjun

unbothered king™

at least that's what he tells you fhdjdj

he found out through a vlive fhdhdjj

it was one of the usernames and the username was like ynxyanan_shipper

and renjun mf squinted his eyes like

did I read that clearly ಠ_ಠ

he's like yn and wHO

chenle was beside him when it happened and chenle was like what's wrong

and renjun points out the username

and chenle starts lauGHING BECAUSE HE FINDS IT SO FUNNY

renjun smacks him on the head to tell him to shut up DHHSHDD

obviously he would take a screenshot of the username and sends it to you

and he's like

short king <3: do you hv something to confess to me

you: ,,, my love for you??

short king <3: blocked

you: HAHSAHS IM KIDDING

tbh you find the situation honestly really funny

cause you and yanan aren't exactly friends? you're more of acquaintances than friends

and you made eye contact one (1) time with him by accident at an award show and suddenly you're being shipped with him

when you call him the next time to hang out, definitely expect him to be salty about it fjdjfjd

"hey are you free to come over today?"

"I don't know, why don't you ask your BOYFRIEND yanan"

"renjun istg i will break up with you-"

lee jeno

oh baby boy is gonna be so so confused

he's going to be even more confused because you're being shipped with itzy's chaeryeong fhfhfjf

see you and chaeryeong were featured in an episode of a reality tv show once

and the both of y'all immediately hit it off and your friendship was just adorable

so y'all kept interacting every time y'all see each other

and y'all are now nicknamed as the 4th gen gfs because y'all are so adorable???

like the chaeryn ship ur most popular ship ever

so jeno is so confused?? like why is his gf being shipped with her??

he's like a whole ass puppy okay

you, on the other hand, find the chaeryn ship really cute so you don't mind it and you jokingly call chaeryeong your gf once or twice on live before fjdjfn

whenever you tell him that you're hanging out with chaeryeong, he will pout at you and give you his best puppy eyes

like he will cling onto you and try to convince you to now to go

it works like 13% of the time and you would cancel plans with chaer but most of time it doesn't and you would end up being late jhdjsh

but it will slowly become into an inside joke between y'all

like yk that one meme

"this is yn my girlfriend and her girlfriend chaeryeong"

kjdhkjshfs yeah that

but in all seriousness, jeno is really unbothered about you being shipped with chaeryeong because it basically has the same energy as him being shipped with jaemin

whenever y'all are having play fights, you jokingly threaten to leave him for chaeryeong jdsfjds and he immediately stops and says that's unfair

pls shower him in hugs and kisses later

lee haechan

definitely makes a fuss about it

i mean he knows that you aren't going to leave him and all but is he going to be dramatic about it? yes, yes he is

he finds out by himself because he was probably on twitter stalking your hashtag

when he suddenly stumbles upon and edit of you and ateez's san

he's like O.O wot is tHis?

screenshots the edit and sends it to you

hyuckie: yNNNN

hyuckie: THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

hyuckie: BABY

hyuckie: SUGAR BUM

hyuckie: DAISY PIE

you: what in, the ever loving fuck, is daisy pie

hyuckie: *sends screenshot* ARE U CHEATING ON ME

you: hyuck that pic is clearly edited

hyuckie: I KNOW BUT ARE YOU????

you: i-

he makes so much jokes about it that you literally have to shut him up with a kiss

jokes on u reader he's doing this on purpose to get those free kisses

the jokes stop when you actually finally meet san during a game show and shippers are like omg they finally interacted

and the amount of ynxsan edits just,, grow

haechan acts even salty about it and whines about why fan don't ship y'all together when y'all have made eye contact during the golden disk awards bc he was being a lil shit hdsjhfjds

"hey what if i keep staring at you during the melon so we can get into a scandal?"

"hyuck this is supposed to be a secret relationship-"

"yeah but-"

jokes on u he actually does stare at you at the next award show and thankfully did not get into any scandals, but fans started to ship the both of you!

na jaemin

the true unbothered king

literally does not care that you are shipped with someone else

because he knows that he is yours and vice versa

and plus you love him a lot so

he finds out from chenle, who did it out of spite because one day chenle was bored and wanted to cause some chaos

boi basically ran up to jaemin to shove an edit of you and treasurer's junkyu together and went like

"look hyung! ur gf is being shipped with someone eLsE"

"oh that's weird"

"rigHT"

"I thought people shipped her with treasurer's hyunsuk"

chenle is like

HUH???

"aren't you like,, jeaolous??"

jaemin just shrugs and says "hmm, not really"

jaemin knows that you are good friends wth a lot of idols because you're a social butterfly

so he truly doesn't mind when you get shipped with other idols bc in the end , he's the one holding you in his arms

plus he knows the edits and shippers are mostly harmless

and he trusts you

so he just fucks around with chenle jkldsfj

chenle is still confused bc he wants to rile jaemin up for fun but failed hjdshf

zhong chenle

if you thought haechan was dramatic, then you better buckle up for chenle's

so you see

fans already shipped u and chenle

like

y'all already have a dating scandal

and both companies tried so hard to defuse it

see you are an mc for a music show and you were interviewing nct dream

chenle, being the lil shit he is, kept giving you the heart eyes the entire time

and 6 months later, y'all got caught by dispatch on a daTe

ofc both sides were panicking but chenle was enjoying bc he's like "yeah this is my s/o and what abt it"

but y'all still had a dating ban so sm was this close in kicking him hfdsjfh

fortunately, they were able to cover it up as someone else so there's that

so chenle is aware that fans shipped the both of you together

so when he sees you being shipped with stray kid's jeongin

he was like "HOW DARE THEY-"

calls you to complain about the ship for 3 hours

and that is how you found out as well-

literally you don't even know jeongin so you just let chenle complain about it

he goes on and on about why fans should continue to ship y'all together so when he reveals the relationship the fans will be surprised but also not really at the same time-

"should i get into another scandal with you?"

"chenle no-"

park jisung

oh baby boy is going to be very, very confused

i mean he knows that shipping is a thing between fans

he's just confused why ppl would ship you and p1harmony's keeho

like you have never interacted with him so why would fans ship the both of y'all??

the dreamies mostly tell him to not take it serious but the chenle and haechan would egg him on

"get into a dating scandal with them"

"guys no-"

he wouldn't tell you that it bothers him because he doesn't want you laughing at him, worrying over a small issue

so honestly, it lowkey eats him up on the inside

until one day, you basically force it out of him because he's been acting weird for the past week

he finally confesses about the what's bothering him

and you tell him that you wouldn't have laughed at him

you know shipping idols is a common thing in the industry and sometimes it's uncomfortable knowing it when you're already in a relationship

but you also tell him that it's basically harmless because fans can't really force the both of y'all together

jisung would be insecure about the relationship because it's kinda of his first? so he just doesn't want to mess it up

just reassure him a lot and tell him that you won't leave him

and as time goes by, he just gets used to the shipping

[softcallofdutyimagines]

The crew with their soulmate headcannons

Ok, to make it up to y'all for the angst yesterday, here's a response to the death by broken heart post 😌

This one goes out to @smokeywhalee since I've had her crying for the past like three posts 💀💀😂 I also snuck in a little something to the Weaver one for @direwolfspostsrandomshit and I specifically 😌💅🏻

No warnings, just a very long post and lots of fluff lol

Adler

You two met when he was still young, before he even joined the CIA

Back when he was a goofy, carefree kid who didn't know better

You've been with him through so much by now, that he knows he can always count on you when something's bothering him

There's no one he trusts more in the whole world

Adler knew you were the one around the time he got his scars

He thought for sure you'd leave him, thinking he looked like some kind of monster with half his face bandaged and bloodied like it is

But when he came home from the hospital, you were so overjoyed to see him again, it's like the bandages weren't even there

You kissed his face and helped him clean and dress the stitches and cuts everyday until they healed

With you there to give him all that affection, he's never let his scars make him feel any less then handsome

Of course, it doesn't hurt that you remind him often

Even now, he never tires of you kissing his scars

Hudson

You and Hudson met in college, back when he was a shy, nerdy outcast

It's not like you were exactly popular, but you at least had some social circles to run in

He never thought someone like you would even look twice at someone like him, but...

He's been wrong before

One day you decided to give him a chance, maybe just see what his story is, and you've never looked back since

Hudson's life path calls for the utmost secrecy for nearly everything, and you've lost contact with a handful of people because of it

But you've never complained

If anything, you consider it their loss for losing you

That's how Hudson knew you were the one

You have an undefeatable, never give up attitude and can find the silver lining in just about everything you put your mind to

And of course... You indulge him in his love of head rubs

It's you and his best kept secret of all

Lazar

You've known each other since you were just kids

For him, it was puppy love at first sight, and he was crushing hard before he knew it

But... He was always insecure about his weight, being a bit chunky as a kid and all

He was afraid of rejection because of it

A shame really, since you would've loved him no matter what

But as fate would have it, you stayed friends all the way up until highschool where sports had him shedding weight like crazy

All the fluctuation has left him with stretch marks, some loose skin, and a belly pouch, but luckily growing up gave him enough confidence to make up for it

He asked you to the senior dance your last year of highschool, and later that night you shared your first kiss behind the bleachers outside

You were his first kiss ever

Lazar always knew you were the one

You've been his closest friend and biggest supporter since you were kids on a playground

He just wanted to make himself feel worthy of you first

No one else makes him feel as comfortable in his skin as you do, and only you are allowed the special honor of touching his body

A gift you exercise frequently when you cuddle him at night

Mason

Alex didn't meet you until after Vietnam and the whole... brainwashing business

After trying and trying for years only to end up with an ever growing list of failed relationships, he just assumed he was too damaged to love

Besides, he's getting a bit older now... Maybe he's just not meant to find someone

Or so he thinks

He meets you randomly in public, on an ordinary day in an ordinary place

You two happen to hit a conversation and it just keeps going and going...

Until finally you exchange numbers and begin seeing each other more frequently

And that's when Alex knows you're the one, he can just... feel it deep down

But it isn't until one, vulnerable night, when he tells you about his past and the war and.... Well, everything, that he knows for sure

With so much fear being pushed about the Russian threat and all that, he thought for sure the knowledge that he's been a brainwashed sleeper agent once would scare you away

It was a shock for sure, but... You aren't afraid of him, in fact, you feel sympathetic for his plight of anything

Alex doesn't need your sympathy, mind, but he is thankful for the empathy

That's all he wants, really

That, and someone who'll hold him through the nightmares at night

Looks like he lucked out there too :)

Park

She met you as a fellow agent through MI6

Things were purely professional for a looooong time

But she must admit though, you're quite charismatic, cunning, and frankly?

Adorable

Helen's not quite sure when the joking, friendly flirting turned serious but...

She's glad for it

You ask her out on a date first and things go well

More then well

She doesn't kiss and tell, but let's just say... She knows you're the one

You always have her back on the field and off

You're her closest friend and confident

She's breaking the rules by cluing you in on the goings on with the hunt for perseus and all, but there's no one here she trusts more for feedback and brainstorming

But it's probably a good thing you're not in the safehouse, considering you almost killed someone after the skyhook debacle

She rolls her eyes at your fussing, but you swear to never let her go again

And you know what? Park may not show it, but she loves how much you care for her

Perseus

He met you back in the ussr, when he still looked like his picture

You two grew close in your service to the government, and you were one of the first people he trusted to try and recruit for his operation

When you didn't even hesitate to say yes, that's when he knew you were the one

You've already proven yourself and impressed him with your wit and integrity in your service to the ussr

In fact, few have ever stood out to him in such a way as you have

All he needed to know was if you trusted him and truly believed in a better future

Many are jelous to see you running around with the exceptionally handsome man, but perseus was never one to get hung up on looks

However, he's glad you enjoy his appearance as much as you do his mind

Together, you raise hell for the capitalists, bringing a true biting edge to the cold war threat

In return for your loyalty, he does all he can to keep you a secret, both as his lover and his accomplice

If anything happened to you like what happened to Bell...

He would take the fight to your captors himself

And they wouldn't stand a chance...

Weaver

He met you through working in Requiem

You're one of the strike team operators, but you spend a fair amount of time talking with the consultants and himself back at base

Weaver finds you a little intimidating, but in a good kind of way

Sort of how he use to be back in the day

When he realizes he may or may not have a little thing for you, he suddenly becomes very shy

He's afraid to try and make a move on you because surely rejection would be the only outcome?

After all, he's way too far past his prime by now, missing an eye and slowly letting himself fall out of shape

It's a mess

So why haven't you just moved on from him yet...?

Doctor Grey seems strangely invested in this little one sided romance, so with a bit of help, he manages to ask you out for coffee

The last thing he expected was for you to say yes

It's not until the day that you almost don't make it back to base that he realizes how very much you mean to him

Weaver stays with you as frequently as he can while you recover and can often be found cuddling you in your med bay bed (bc why the hell not?) or at home

He has to pull back a little on visiting you in the med bay however

He's starting to get teased for how much he loves all the head pets, jaw scratches, and tummy rubs you give him while you're bored and resting

Carver has now begun addressing him as "Fido" with no end in sight

Woods

He meets you out at the marine base he spends all his time at

It was one of the many occasions that he was doing target practice at the range, and he today he's caught you watching him

At first he honestly didn't think much of it, but of course he took the opportunity to show off a little

He succeeded in managing to lure you over with his skills, where you came to stroke his ego a bit

For that, he offers to show you some pointers and before either of you know it, target practice together becomes a regular occurance

From there, anything more social is up to you to initiate

He's a bit taken aback when you invite him out to do something off base sometime, but... He accepts

Once out of his element, he's like a whole other person

You're surprised to find that he's a lot more shy and little more warm towards you

You find it adorable

That starts the slippery path to how he knows you're the one

You're the only person he truly feels like he can be himself with

Everyone else expects the hardened sargent, and while that is still him...

He never feels like he has an opportunity to share his softer side

You can never complain about being cold or lonely with him around

Frank loves nothing more then cuddling with you whenever and wherever he can

Not only is it just, well, nice, to have the human contact, but it makes him feel like he gets to protect you

And nothing makes him happier then to see you safe :)

[callbackup]

When I first heard the whole "Paxton was embarrassed of Devi" thing in 2x10, I was like oh no, this is how they ruin paxton but then!! When he explained why he wasnt so open to a public relationship I thought you know what this is valid actually

So the basis of any relationship (especially a romantic one or simply friendship) is trust. You trust the other person, and therefore you feel secure in such relationship. You aren't scared of showing yourself with that person because you feel comfortable with them and you know that they won't wrong you or do you harm.

Now let's look at Devi's and Paxton's relationship from the start and from the angle of trust. Whenever you meet somebody and you get along you start to trust the other person, and the further the relationship grows, the deeper the trust is. So it's quite reasonable that Paxton was hurt when Devi lied to everyone that she had sex with him when she didn't. They were getting along, beggining to trust one another (especially whenever he got devi to open up to him) and suddenly Devi spreads lies about him so of course he's hurt.

Then, him being embarrassed and humiliated outside Devi's house (of course, it wasn't her fault, but I can see why he would direct his anger at her in this situation as he knew her better than he did Nalini), another breach of trust and security.

This season, he starts to trust her again in a more serious way because they are officialy dating but this quickly ends since he founds out that devi has been cheating on him, WHICH IS I THINK ONE OF THE BIGGEST BREACHES OF TRUST THERE ARE bc you trust that other person! That they will be faithful to you, that you will share things and not keep secrets from one another (the secret being that devi has another bf💀)

Then, the whole tutoring storyline, which yes, devi was right that she cant hold his hand forever and study with him everytime he has a test coming up but *sighs* if she would've said this in any other moment it would be fine. However, she repeatedly promised paxton she would study with him for that biology test he failed and she kept putting it off. Also, you can see how insecure and new he is when it comes to putting the work into his projects (which yes, this isnt elementary school, but it explains why he was so affected by devi slightly yelling at him). She and his grandfather were probably his entire support system because his parents didnt even believe in him fully and the amount of scenes where he says he's going to study and everyone is literally shocked.... Let's be honest, most of the time it was Devi who managed to get him to actually study, to persist and she sort of coached and mentored him, so you can see how he also trusted her here and that trust was yet again breached.

So finally, when he's ready and wants to date her again, he again has to trust her but seeing how many times Devi did him dirty, it actually makes a lot of sense that he would have doubts about going public with her. Especially that, notice how some of those breaches of trust weren't just a private thing between them but happened publicly such as lying about having sex with him or the having two boyfriends storyline.

It definitely was a bit weird that Paxton didn't want to go public with her, but looking at their past, it made lots of sense that he would struggle with trusting her

[1990jeevas]

I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D

hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)

tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings

also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol

so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:

like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.

so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.

theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.

mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.

this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.

moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)

so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...

nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)

lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)

won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)

been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)

was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?

"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)

my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.

moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!

speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol

now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends

Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know

bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.

people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.

anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol

[mortedeveles]

Wrinkles.

Summary: Life can go by in a blink of an eye, and you couldn't agree more as you stare into the mirror, staring at wrinkles that you didn’t have years ago.

Pairing: Pro Hero! Eijirou Kirishima x gn!reader. [DRABBLE]

Themes: hurt comfort, fluff, reassurance.

TW: body appearance issues, aging, insecurities, slightly suggestive and i think 1 curse word 

WORD COUNT: A little bit over 1K!

A/N: what is this? me actually writing a drabble while still having online school in session? :flushed: shocking, i know. anyway, i was studying earlier today when this idea came to me- as a drabble, and now it’s a little over 1K words :’> 

barely read over this, feel free to point out any errors or typos!! i also haven’t written in a hot minute so i hope this is okay!! 

kiri & reader are into their older years (+30-40 yrs old) in this drabble, and they’re married! hope you guys enjoy huehue, pls remember to reblog, comment and like if you enjoyed <33

Wrinkles. You could spot several of them, engraved into your skin and no matter how much you tried to avoid them, they clung to your skin like powder onto a wet surface. 

You sighed, tracing the marks with a finger, feeling your heart plummet with each stroke. God, you were getting old, weren't you? 

Sunlight streamed into the bedroom as you stared at yourself in the vanity mirror, hands pressed flat on the wooden drawer. Behind you, Eijirou moaned lowly, and you heard the kicking of some blankets before he resumed his loud snoring.

It made you smile softly before you mentally groaned. There they are again! You thought with indignation. The moment you smiled, the wrinkles on your face became even more prominent. 

It's been years since you married Kirishima, and it's no hidden truth that both of you are aging; gaining new scars and experiences every day. Even then, you didn't expect to look at yourself in the mirror one day, and suddenly realize that you looked....old. The type of elderly facial features you saw on your aging parents, on your middle-aged aunt, or your grandparents. 

You frowned. You could still remember your high school days, and although you did not have porcelain skin; free of all blemishes- your skin was at least young and lively. Not anymore, you thought sadly. Gone were the days of your lively smile, childish expressions. Whenever you smiled, it was tainted by the wrinkles of time.

A solemn sigh left your lips as you lowered your gaze to the drawer's surface, eyes trailing over the dentures and swirls of the texture of the wood. Caught up in your storm of insecurities of aging, you didn't hear the floor creaked softly as Kirishima left the mattress, and approached you from behind. It was only until you heard his feet dragging on the floor, and his warm and heavy arms wrapping around your waist that you realized he had awoken. 

''Morning,'' you whispered softly. He mumbled, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You smiled and pressed a kiss on his messy red hair. His black roots were starting peaking out, but you merely smiled fondly. Kirishima had never lost his heartfelt and considerate attitude and his appearance had aged like wine; only growing better with years. You were as much in love with him as you were in your teenage years. 

''What are you doing up?'' He murmured into your neck. ''It's our day off.'' 

You smiled, before raising your gaze to the vanity mirror. Kirishima rose his gaze and meet yours in the mirror, his rubies for eyes making your smile widen. 

''I know, but I couldn't sleep anymore,'' you placed your hand on top of his, locked in front of your abdomen. He squeezed you lightly. 

''Somethin' on your mind?'' You chuckled lightly. Somehow, Eijirou always knew whenever you were feeling insecure or melancholic.

 ''Yeah...'' you sighed wistfully, before shaking your head in regret. ''But it's nothing.'' The redhead frowned.

 ''If it's on your mind, then it's something,'' he pressed a kiss on your cheek. ''Talk to me, babe.'' You swallowed a thick lump in your throat, before slightly craning your neck to meet his gaze. 

''Do you...'' you faltered for a few seconds. ''Do you think I look too old?'' Kirishima's eyebrows furrowed with disapproval and his lips slightly parted open.

 ''Of course not, Y/N- what are you talking about?'' 

You sighed. ''My face is all wrinkly now, it's so different and... I don't like how it looks. I feel so...old. I know we're bound to grow old, but for some reason, it's still hard to stomach. The wrinkles look ugly.'' 

He laughed in disbelief, before turning you around to face his gaze. He smiled fondly, hands cupping your cheeks. A few seconds in silence passed by before he spoke up.

''Baby- they don't make you look old, or ugly. I think they're beautiful. Fascinating to look at. It shows that you have lived,'' his eyes gleamed as he spoke earnestly. '’You’ve experienced many things, and lived to tell the tale. Life has blessed you with happiness, and it shows on your laugh lines.'' He paused and softly kissed both your cheeks before continuing. 

''But you have also endured pain,'' he murmured. ''I can see it in the wrinkles of your forehead, and the bags under your eyes, but that doesn't stop me from making love to you, does it now?'' He smiled mischievously and you felt your face grow warm.

''I love it. Because staring at your face is like admiring a beautiful artwork at a museum. Staring at the lines of your life, the good and the bad, and it makes me remember how much I fucking love you. Baby, you've been through hell and more- you've been thrown off your course so many times. And yet, you've kept moving forward, without a glance to the past. You rose when many others remained with the ashes.''

Tears welled up in your eyes as he continued speaking. The words flowing from his lips were a soothing balm to your aching wounds.

‘’I don't care about your wrinkles because I'm not here just to admire your face, I'm here because I love you. I love you, even with all the hardships that we've faced, my love for you has gotten stronger. Every time I see you, your legs tangled with mine while we're in bed, and you're sleeping peacefully, I feel like we're still in our U.A. years, and I'm still the young boy who’s heart would go into a frenzy whenever you even so looked at me.'' You laughed roughly, feeling your throat clog up from all the emotions. Kirishima simply chuckled, before enveloping your hands in his. 

He pressed his forehead against yours, staring at your face with a serene smile. Then, he pressed a soft kiss on your forehead, and you nearly swore to God that his kiss felt like magic; dissipating years of wrinkles of worry and stress. You preened under his touch, eyes fluttering shut. 

''So no, I don't think your wrinkles make you look old or ugly. You're still as beautiful as ever, sweetheart.'' You smiled silently, and Eijirou's lips met yours. They danced slowly, pleasantly, and washed a sense of comfort and familiarity over your entire being. His lips were warm and soft, as were yours. The kiss slowly ended as you opened your eyes, smiling at your husband.

''I love you, Eijirou.'' Your hands were pressed flat against his chest, and he grinned widely in response, sharp fangs on display. He suddenly grabbed you under your legs, hoisting you upwards and you yelped in surprise, legs tightening around his waist.

He stared at you with gleaming eyes, sporting the same crow feet your eyes bore. A single sentence left his lips before they met yours once again, chasing after each other in everlasting bliss. 

 ''I love you more, my love.'' 

fr forgot i had a taglist- anyways-

send an ask/DM if you wanted to be added/ removed or if i forgot to @ you [sorry i’m smol brain rn]! hatched out is bc i was unable to @. 

GENERAL TAGLIST: @booklovingpickle @thatonecrackheadshipper @themanlythingtodo @pstpstpst-kirikirikiri @elmstreet12 @yami-writes @ashleycakegamin @jokenotfunny @twistytreatss​ 

PERSONALIZED TAGLIST: @animeismyreligionbitches @warmchoccymilk @fuzzyslippers @stargazerunlimited @thegreatitchymatsu @the-lover-of-fandoms @nekothecheeto @brown-eyed-thang @momosupremesimp @mistressoflight

[cutietobio]

Could you please do headcanons on how would Yamaguchi, Kei, Kageyama, Kuroo and Lev react if they were having a pretty serious kissing session and when they reach to kiss their s/os neck their s/o just goggles and laughs bc it’s ticklish for them? Thanks!

Thanks for the request, anon! Hope you enjoy ;)

YAMAGUCHI

- His advances still as soon as he hears your laughter, immediately going red in the face as he hides his face in the crook of your neck. He’s certain his lack of experience had been the reason you were laughing.

- “Tadashi, baby, what’s wrong?” you coo, fingers lacing through his hair comfortingly as you will him to look up at you. He does so albeit a reluctantly.

- “I..I’m sorry, you were laughing so I assumed I did something wrong,” he admits with a bashful expression, avoiding eye contact.

- Light laughter leaves your lips in adoration of his shyness as you pull him close to you. “I wasn’t laughing at you, my neck is sensitive and your kisses tickled me.”

- Suddenly feeling a bit silly for being insecure, he drops his head, resting his forehead upon your collarbone as he returns your hug. “Do you…still want to continue?”

- With a hum and a kiss to his head, you urge him with your hands against his chest to lay back onto the bed to proceed what you had started.

TSUKISHIMA

- “Why are you laughing?” he questions, sounding annoyed by your sudden outburst of giggles that had ruined the mood.

- He pulls away to look up at you, fixing his askew glasses as his eyes remain on you with a slight glare. 

- No way were you laughing at him.

- “Sorry Kei, my neck is ticklish,” you admit sheepishly, sinking under his glare.

- “Oh, were my kisses too light then? I guess I’ll just have to go harder.”

- Your laughter from him kissing your neck is quickly replaced by moans.

KAGEYAMA

- “Uhm..,” he’s very confused, going rigid underneath you as you sit in his lap.

- Thinking he had done something wrong, Kageyama splutters out an apology, knowing he wasn’t very good with this whole intimacy thing.

- “Don’t apologize, Tobio. You did nothing wrong, my neck gets ticklish easily,” you admit with a reassuring smile.

- “That’s…strange,” he replies, unable to think of a way to carry on where he had left off.

- “It is, if you kiss a bit harder, that might work.”

- Kageyama blinks before giving you a slow nod, “I’ll try.”

- His efforts were a success.

KUROO

- “You laughing at me, baby?” Kuroo questions in a mumble, not even bothering to pull back as giggles continue to bubble past your lips.

- “Y…You’re tickling m..me,” you stutter out between laughter, gasping for air as your eyes grow misty with tears of amusement.

- “You’re ticklish here, huh? Good to know,” he doesn’t break away until you’re almost on the verge of passing out from laughter.

- You glare up at him as you gradually catch your breath, “That’s mean, you could have killed me.”

- His eyes darken with unmistakable lust, “Let me make it up to you, then.”

LEV

- At the sounds of your laughter, his kisses come to a sudden stop as he lifts his head to look at you with a bright smile.

- “Your smile is so beautiful!” he gushes like a lovestruck fool, his eyes gleaming with adoration.

- Blushing, your giggling comes to a gradual stop, but your smile is ever-present. “Thank you, Lev-kun, my neck is sensitive and your kisses made me ticklish.”

- “I didn’t know!” he exclaims, eyes wide as he wraps his long arms around your torso, resting the side of his face against your chest.

- “I’m sorry, princess, tell me how I can fix it.”

- “Just… be a bit firm with your kisses. You can be rough, I don’t mind,” you admit shyly, anticipating the reaction of your pure boyfriend.

- His head lifts from your chest to look up at you in surprise. “I should be rough?” he ponders for a few moments in silence before his eyes harden in determination, “Okay, I’ll make you feel good, princess.”

[mythiccheroacademia]

Beach Waves and Happiness

a little self-indulgent something i was hoarding in my documents and decided to share. maybe or maybe not bc i felt bad bc of all the angst i was posting. i hope you all enjoy it :)

A/N: In my mind, I imagine that Bakugo and his spouse would certainly have a bumpy marriage. I headcanon that his spouse is as headstrong as he is, if not stronger. They need to be in order to handle all that is Bakugo Katsuki lmao. But they grow with each day and are their strongest together. He’s also matured by then, so it’ll always work out in the end.

A little context. You and Katsuki have been married for a couple of years and have kids. Koji and Eva. Twins. Not much else to say but enjoy this sweet, sugary, domestic fic. 

Warnings: Mentions of intimacy, cursing

Beach Waves and Happiness (Bakugo X Reader)

When the twins were old enough to walk and (mostly) potty-trained, that’s when you started taking trips. You were so excited to spend time as a family apart from dinner and bath time. Katsuki was excited to see you in a swimsuit again.

And family time as well!

Their first international trip was to Hawaii. Your husband had been a couple times and thought it would be a good and family-friendly vacation spot. You grew up on the beach so being on the island was perfect for you. Katsuki saw how you flourished under the sun, with the salty wind tousling your braids and the white sand on your feet. As you took your children to the waves, smiling like the sun as they squealed from the water, he felt heart swell with pride.

He never wanted to take for granted what he had been given.

“It tickles!” Eva, the eldest twin, giggled.

Koji was a bit hesitant to touch the water but gained confidence when he felt his sister grab his hand. When the waves began to roll in, they screamed with excitement and ran the other way. They continued their game of chase whiles their mother watched them with a smile.

Feeling eyes on yourself, you caught your husband’s adoring gaze and goofily posed. “Take a picture. It’ll last longer,” you joked.

And moment ruined. He rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he walked by your side. Katsuki placed his hand on your waist, inviting you to lean on his shoulder. You two stood there for a moment, letting the sound of your children’s laughter and waves settle between them.

“Don’t you wish we could just stay here forever?” you suddenly said.

“All the time, but money doesn’t grow on trees. You actually have to work for stuff.”

“Imagine that.” You raised your head catching Katsuki’s eyes. He hummed for your thoughts. “Nothing. Just kind of taking in everything. I feel at peace. More than I have in a long time.”

It was meant to be happy words, but it made the blonde hero deflate just a bit. A thought had been gnawing at his heart for a while and he found he could no longer hold in his question.

“[Y/N], are you happy?”

That got you to pause. You turned to hold his waist with your arms. “The short answer is yes, but what do you mean?” you said, eyeing how contemplative he looked.

Katsuki felt himself absent-mindedly play with your hair as he stared where the sand met the waves. He was never good with his words but damn it. He needed to know. Even if it could hurt him.

“It’s just…I know being with me isn’t the easiest.”

“Katsuki, if this is about our fight, I told you—”

“No. I mean yes, but not entirely. Let me just get this out.” You sighed but nodded. “When I asked you to move in with me, I half expected you to say no. But you did. And I know being thousands of miles away from your friends and family is shitty. Especially in Japan where you might feel alone. I mean, I know you made friends with Deku, Cheeks, Pinky, and all those idiots but it’s different. It’s not your home. But you never complain. You always adjust. Even after we got married and had children, and you felt like you were suffocating under all the responsibility when I was being a shit ass husband and father, you never said anything until you were at your breaking point.”

It pained him to remember how he didn’t know you were going through postpartum depression until it got so bad, he’d wake up to find you sobbing in the living room by yourself. Or when your mother called him five months into the marriage and nearly cussed him dead for her daughter feeling like she couldn’t even tell him she was going through a hard time. Sternly reminding him that you dropped everything to move to Japan for his career. That’s when she accidentally slipped that you were pregnant.

He was still young at the time and in the midst of a stressful time in his career. When he confronted you about it, he admitted he did more yelling than he should have. You took your ring off and he felt his heartbreak for the first time. You said you’d stay at a hotel, but he begged you to stay in the house and he left for his parent’s house. It was a tough week. One of the toughest weeks in your relationship. However, you preserved. As always.

Although, Katsuki still saw how exhausted you were. Even when he gave more than 100%, you were still tired, and he had a feeling it wasn’t physical exhaustion.

Your husband tucked a braid behind your ear and the look he gave you made your chest pinch. “I just don’t want you to get to your breaking point with me and before I can help it, lose you and the twins,” he said, voice barely above the sound of the sea.

There was only a small amount of times you’d see him so open about his feelings. Sometimes you’d admit you didn’t handle it well. Thus, the fights. You and your husband weren’t good at expressing your emotions properly and learning to do so was a journey. However, you always appreciated his willingness to grow—whether it was before or after the matter.

“Baby,” you cooed, softly kissing the corner of his lips. “Let’s get one thing straight. I’d have to be the coldest, most heartless, bitch on the planet to keep you away from Eva and Koji. No matter what happens to us, you’re still their father. A good one at that, and I would never separate you three. Besides, my mom and yours would hang me before I could.”

He chuckled. He knew you were only half-joking. Your parents were alike in more ways than one. It was kind of scary, but good for family gatherings.

“And, if I’m going to be honest, it was really hard at first. Sometimes, I thought I made the wrong decision, but then you’d come home, and we’d spend hours talking and every day I was reminded why I did it. The way your eyes would light up every time you’d talk about work made my heart flutter. Then you’d turn around, look at me, and tell me how being at your side made everything better. When I couldn’t tell you how useless I felt, you’d just know and make me feel on top of the world. When I’m hard on myself, you’re there to bully the insecurities out. I see the little things you do like buy more tampons and pads, without me having to ask, when I run low, wash the dishes as soon as you come home because you know I hate doing them, or turn the fan off in the middle of the night when I shiver, even when you’re hot.

We butt heads. We fight for sure. And we kind of suck ass at dealing with our feelings. But not for one moment did I stop loving you any less. Maybe I didn’t like you all the time,” she snickered and Katsuki snorted. “But I loved you. I love you. And I know you love me all the same.”

Katsuki didn’t know why he had been blessed, especially since he wasn’t the best person in his past. However, he never questioned it. He just cherished.

With no other way to properly express his gratitude, he pulled you closer and he pressed a heart-stopping kiss to your lips. You moaned, gripping his bicep, as he tilted your head, one hand under your chin and the other on the small of your back. Katsuki pulled back, your bottom lip between his teeth, to gaze at you in a way that warmed your body.

“Till death do us part, huh?” he smiled.

“You’re kinda stuck with me even after that.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Who knew you could be so corny?” you chuckled.

A hand came down on your ass and you gasped, laughing at his antics. “Don’t ruin the moment, dumbass.”

You continued your kissing, smirking between them. “You’re lucky you have a big dic—”

A tug at your skirt brought you two out of your…conversation.

It was Koji.

“Momma! We build castle!” he cheerfully smiled. Then he dropped his smile in 0.3 seconds and frowned at his father. “N’ you! Daddy no eat momma. We talk about dis.”

You snickered behind your hands as Katsuki’s eye twitched. Your son was at the age where he was forming an Oedipus complex. He and Katsuki had a thirty-minute conversation about him trying to “eat you” and “killing you” at night. It was endearing for you and annoying for him.

“Fine, you little brat. We’re watching your dumb castle,” he grumbled.

“You dumb!” Eva retaliated for her brother. Koji hmphed in agreement before running back to his sister.

You were openly cracking up and Katsuki was steaming.

“I’m glad you find this funny, jerk,” he mumbled.

“Hilarious actually.”

There was a moment of comforting silence.

“What was that about my big—”

“Koji! Your daddy’s tryna kill me again!”

“What the—? No I’m not!”

“DADDY!”

[smalltragedy]

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hi im just reposting gabe’s intro bc its been a very long time n im starting a little fresh hehe. yes i do regret the text color bt im not going back.

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: bisexual (masc-leaning).

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances.

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay!

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years.

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe.

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost.

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.

[littlebigafterdark]

patton's asthma attack and finally agreeing to try therapy

content warnings: hurt/comfort, detailed description of asthma attack, very brief mention of past eating disorder, crying (i always hav that tho)

i copy pasted this from mine and livs discord convo so thats why it might be formatted weird and i swear a lot also if you see "hhh yeah" then thats liv commenting hshshsh

patton has had a cough the past few days because BASICALY since priscilla (remys cat) visited hes been more breathless with his asthma but he didnt tell anyone bc he doesnt want to worry them or make it so vee never get to see priscilla again if she cant visit anymore

so his asthma is acting up but he ignores it - and hes had asthma cough for a couple days (which is a sign of an incoming asthma attack) but again hes ignoring it, hes so used to brushing off symptoms he doesnt click what it means and he diesn ttake his inhaler when he needs it

WAAAHH oh fuck oh my god oh god wait fuck i just realised

the moment patton gets his asthma attack its saturday afternoon, roman is little and playing with logan and vee isnt quite little yet but fae's on faer way there, fae is very giggly and playful and patton says "okay babygirl, lets go get you changed!"

and when he gets up from the couch he takes a moment to cough and just stand still a sec bc he got suddenly dizzy but he pushed through it to not worry vee, and he actually usually lifts her onto his hip straight away, but this time he very subtly is like "okay hold daddys hand while we walk to the stairs"

so they get to the stairs and patton of course lifts vee up, and theyre only a few steps up when pattons breathing gets really heavy. it makes vee frown and look at him and say "daddy am i heavy?"

and patton smiles and shakes his head, because hes too breathless to speak. but he pushes through and hurries up as fast as possible

once theyre at the top of the stairs, patton is wheezing. his chest is rattling and whistling and he suddenly loses his smile and quickly hurries away from the stairs to place vee gently on the hallway floor, and as soon as vee is safe patton wobbily sinks to his knees and leans his head against the wall. his eyes shut tight trying so so hard to breath but its realy whistly now

and vee of course panics. "dady? papa are you okay??" and whimpers when patton doesnt react and clutches at his chest

and it throws her out of her semi regression. she jumps up and hurries downstairs, a little wobbily but ultimately fine. and she speints to where logan and riman are and yells "daddys h havin a panic attack!" and instantly starts crying

logan and roman were in the middle of a game and smiling and laughing but as SOON as they hear that they jump into action. logan runs out of the room to go to patton and roman grows up and runs to vee and lifts her up to shush her cries and calm her down - they dont even share a single look before they do this, they both just instinctively know what to do

and logan of course finds patton and realises its an asthma attack not a panic attack - he goes into his emergency like emotionless mode where he just gets the job done. he asks clearly where patton keeps his inhaler and patton just shakes his head. so logan alarmed asks "you dont have a reliever inhaler??" and patton winces and shakes his head again.

logan sprints to his room into his bedside drawer to find tthe inhaler he keeps for emergencies double checking it hasnt expired

he sits with his legs around patton, patton leaned back agains his torso, and puffs pattons inhaler for him and times the attack and the puffs (knowing that if it isnt better after ten puffs and fifteen minutes they have to call an ambulance) and using his own deep breaths against pats back to help him recalibrate his breathing

luckily it only lasts 8 and a half minutes and 8 puffs - but logan is so so shaken about the fact that that was very close to requiring medical assistance, he had his ohone out ready to dial 911

once pattons attack is over he's finally breathing, short and deep at first gasping in the oxygen, but within a few more minutes of sitting against logan it slows down and is much calmer. hes very shaky because the reliever inhaler does that to you, and weak from the tax on his body, so logan helps him up into their nearest bedroom (pattons)

at first he calls roman to swap places with him and watch over patton hust so logan can change vee into a diaper since she regressed from fear as soon as roman picked her up and obv he cant change her diaper

so roman sits with patton while logan does that and roman is actually really quiet and awkward and nervous, just looking wide eyed at patton and hugging himself.

and patton feels bad abt that and whispers "its okay little prince, daddys not hurt. im sorry for scaring you, honey" and roman just chews his lip and nods and looks down and they dont talk again until logan is back and roman goes out to take care of vee and logan comes in to lie with patton and rub his chest soothingly

logan is distressed and frustrated and shaken at that point but he knows not to have their conversation until the next day bc patton will be emotionally and physically exhausted

but the next day they have a serious talk - logans pretty ANGRY that patton was so ignorant of his wellbeing that he didnt refill his inhaler, patton brushes it off but logan says its a good thing he secretly kept one for patton (bc he almost suspected this might happen)

it rly hits patton when logan tells him if he had needed anymore puffs than he took they wouldve had to phone an ambulance - like patton not wanting to worry his family by admitting his asthma was acting up backfired way more and has made them worry even more because he had a full attack that could have gone so much worse

the whole conversation is VERY stern and serious even at the start when patton smiles and chuckles and jokes and brushes it off logan just gets frustrated and upset. logan is SO angry literally he is glaring at patton when patton brushes it off and makes jokes abt it and he snaps.

logan actually very seriously tells patton this is self harm and patton goes WHAT nonono no its not i dont know why youre getting so worked up

and logan fucking SNAPS like "Youre not giving your body what it needs to survive because you dont think your worth that!! you're neglecting your basic needs to the point of needing urgent medical care, doesnt that sound familiar??? doesnt that sound like something we've both been through before???" clearly referencing his eating disorder

and pattons eyes go wide and he profusely apologises hes like im so sorry oh my gosh logan honey im sorry did i trigger you im sorry and logans just like STOP APOLOGISING this isnt about me its about you!

and he sso angry bc he thought they trusted each other but the fact that patton didnt tell him when he literally couldnt breathe is so scary to logan

but that is basically an argument bc logan was so fucking worried and devastated that patton has ignored his health to such an extent and vee gets nervous bc both her and roman can hear them yelling and she thinks the cgs will breakup bc they "had a fight"

but once theyre finished talking and vee shakily asks if theyre not gonna be a family anymore they'll of course comfort faer and talk abt it, its not a fight its a disagreement and mummys and daddys have those sometimes. theyre still a family and they still love each other very very much. they all soend their family day together as usual, though patton isnt as able to get up and play with roman understandably

also the fact this all comes around the same week patton and logan tell vee that janus wants to babysit, thats why patton has been absent from the blog recently i guess bc hes been keeping busy trying to work through his feelings of janus wanting to come in

hhh yeah... the way it lines up to patton's other insecurities abt janus coming into the family and it all just piles on too much all at once

so on monday morning logan goes with patton to get more inhalers and they actually stay out for while like they go to a forest or smth just to be alone and help patton recenter a little - he's always loved being in nature, it really brings him a lot of peace, being in nature is really the best way to keep patton grounded from his dissociation, thats why hes always gardening

and logan doesnt want to be angry at him and he knows patton needs support and comfort atm even is patton doesnt think he does so they have a calm day just being together and logan trying to remind patton that hes there for him

HHH stop bc they YEAH bc they kinda had a fight even though it did get 'resolved' but they needed to take time to reconnect their energies and like show each other (and specifically logan show patton) that their love is still secure and their friendship is still strong - just the quiet care of logan taking patton somewhere they can just be alone without responsibilities

secretly patton was rlly upset that logan got angry with him but he didnt show it but logan KNOWS him and he knows he needs to fix it with queality time (pats love lang) because pattons been alone a lot recently, its just been that he keeps busy and accidentaly distanced himself bc the others would all be busy and hanging out in some way and he fet a bit abandoned but yeah logan is dedicating the whole day to him

and patton does end up talking abt his inner turmoil a little but not until theyre like in the middle of the forest and hes a lot calmer and theres no one around, he just feels so much calmer and safer in nature to open up like that.

and this is when patton tells logan about his worries about janus becoming closer to vee, and how its lovely for them but what if it hurts vee, what if they dont get along, what if they DO get along and vee wants to move back with janus. Logan doesnt say anything to the worries, he knows patton just needs to blurt them out while he can, while it mixes with the sounds of nature.

then patton mentions quietly that dr picani phoned him a couple weeks ago and told him that he would like to offer patton a trial session of therapy - not with vee, just patton. logan very calmly asks if that sounds like sometnging that might be helpful for patton and patton just giggles nervously "um i dont know. Vee has therapy"

logan frowns. "yes she does. but that doesnt mean you cant have it too, if you would like it"

patton goes quiet and looks anxious, scratching at the moss on the log theyve sat down on. so logan takes his hand and looks very earnestly at him and says gently "i would like you to at least accept the trial session. It is your decision but... i think it might be worth a try"

patton nods a little, just looking at their intertwined fingers. and after a long silence where they can just hear the birds tweeting and the wind rustling the leaves and small animals scurrying along the grass, patton finally looks up at logan and breathes "i'll go to therapy"

and when patton says that out loud suddenly his eyes well up and he sees logan smile at him - a little sad and a lot proud - and feels his hand squeeze and the tears just dont stop coming and he hides his eyes but laughs nervously like haha dont know why im crying this is so silly! but logan doesnt say anything to it, he just pulls patton into his side and rests his head on pattons head...

and patton keeps trying to laugh and joke but its so choked and sad and nervous and wet and logan wraps his other arm around patton too and just grntly whispers "pumpkin, its okay if youre not happy right now."

and patton just starts sobbing into logans shoulder and logan holds him so tight as they sit on the log

patton cant cope with silence when its about him yknow, he couldnt handle logan not laughing or tutting at his jokes so he just kept joking until logan insisted its ok to be sad

so once they get home logan sits with pstton while he phones dr picani and books his first solo therapy session for friday morning

[teruthecreator]

THS IS A ROBBERY 🔫YOUR ROLESWAP LORE!!! HAND IT OVER 🤲if u want 2 :)

just took my melatonin bc i have to wake up at 4:30 AM to drive 16 hours to my mother’s so i’m sorry if this becomes derailed but uh. here’s the roleswap lore! or, at least, everything i’ve decided (along with matthew and corinne bc the three of us tagteamed on it) 

gonna chuck it all under a readmore bc this is going to get long

so first off, just gonna run out in front and say i have no idea how this fits into graduation plot. i haven’t gotten that in plot consideration, given their character differences in comparison to their canonical selves. so, for the most part, it’s a lot of background establishment and character traits. but i do have a few plot bits that i’ve figured out bc i thought it was cool. why such a long preamble? i don’t know. help me

fitzroy maplecourt: 

first off, he’s not called sir!!! because he doesn’t go to knight school! 

my idea for his backstory is that the way he decides to grapple with his identity crisis/imposter syndrome (which he definitely Still has) is that instead of becoming a grander, larger than life version of himself. he just. goes the opposite.

not necessarily becoming a degenerate (bc he just smokes pot and that’s not bad he’s just vibing)??? but more just like. leaning into the laid-back nature of life that one might pick up from a lifetime in rural country. 

he goes to a liberal arts school a ways away and just decides to bum around and take life not seriously. he develops a pretty large group of acquaintances being a hippie stoner; he doesn’t really pursue a degree either. i think if he picked up any major it was probably like. an art major or an english but he basically fails most of his classes bc he doesn’t care! 

unlike his canonical counterpart, fitzroy doesn’t mind being called nicknames!! ones i think he has the most are fitz or roy, but basically you could call him anything and he’ll respond. that is because, instead of clinging to the concept of his identity bc it’s the only thing he feels he has, his identity is nebulous!! he doesn’t understand it and it scares him too much to be concrete, so he just lets people decide shit about him for him. 

his personal philosophy is more about floating through life and letting people assume shit about him than having a solid personality and backstory that people understand and recognize. it is a more dissociative way of having an identity crisis! how fun! he also barely talks about his past, and what he does talk about are cherrypicked points of his past that fit his narrative of being a casual down-to-earth hippie

 the moment that this all changes is when order decides to pop in and grant him powers!!!! wahoo!!!! here’s how that happens: 

he’s baked out of his fucking gourd in his dorm room, in the spring semester of his junior year. he’s alone (which is rare) and he’s maybe a little sad, but he decides to just ignore it. he looks at his table and laughs. “hehe, what if this table just. blew up?” he says to himself. it isn’t that funny, but he laughs. then he lays his hand on the table. 

the table blows up.

after that, he has magic!!! 

i’m going to go into detail a little bit later about how fitzroy’s magic manifests in the roleswap universe, but i wanna get through the backstory first. basically, he gets really freaked out after his magic comes to him because it is So New and Wow What and What The Fuck.

he realizes that this new addition to his character Completely changes how people who know him would perceive him (as a bum stoner chill guy), and he can no longer have control of his narrative with this magic business. so he drops out!

well, he actually just transfers. to a school far, far away where people will never know who he was and he can rebuild his narrative with this magic incorporated into it. he chooses wiggenstaff’s because he figures the school would have more of a knowledge of magic than his libarts school, which would mean he could understand why the fuck weed gave him magic (sidenote: it wasn’t weed, obvs, but he thinks this so for a while he doesn’t smoke!) 

he is now the chill hippie of wiggenstaff’s!!! most people like him because his personality is fairly easy to digest; some people think he shouldn’t be there, but he is! he starts out as a sidekick and he would’ve honestly been fine with that forever, but then he’s suddenly thrust into the hero track!!! wow!!!! i will also explain this with the magic. 

but yeah!! that’s fitzroy, for the most part. now we’ll move onto the other boy

argonaut keene:

he actually prefers if people call him argonaut, but he’s less likely to correct people than canon fitzroy Or canon argo. he’s a tad bit shyer in this universe!

argo’s backstory pretty much follows the same idea of his canonical background, but with some key differences that shape him into the character he is in the present! 

basically he still grows up on shebrie’s ship, surrounded by crewmates and the salty sea air. but his fascination with the sea doesn’t manifest into this swashbuckling lifestyle that he has in canon. 

what fascinates him more is the ship itself. how it functions, how water wears down wood, how directional currents can affect navigation. basically, he becomes invested in the sciences part of sealife more than the pirateering. he has special interests in marine biology, but his heart remains in nautical engineering. figuring out ways to make the ship run better, faster, and more efficiently consumes his childhood thoughts!

shebrie encourages her son’s craving for knowledge with tomes and books from all over the world about anything related to engineering and nautical things. he’s homeschooled, basically, but he becomes rather intelligent within a few short years! 

and then, well....shebrie dies. yeah we aren’t escaping that finality, sorry folks. that part of canon Still Applies.

after shebrie’s death (coughMURDERcough), argo is. traumatized! and he makes the decision to almost entirely sever himself from his life on the sea. it’s all too painful to look back upon--the times he spent studying with his mother in the captain’s quarters, rattling off dolphin facts as they sailed onward, dreaming of turning gears as the ship gently rocked him to sleep--and so he just decides to throw the whole thing out!

he can’t ignore his lifetime of education, though, so he continues to pursue it. with the remainder of money his mother left behind, he enrolls himself in a boarding school of science and technology, with plans to continue study in Only engineering. no more nautical Anything on his roster.

eventually, when he is old enough and graduates high school, he roams around...trying to figure out what to do. he doesn’t have enough money for college, so he can’t continue his scholarly efforts yet. he works around, job-to-job, city-to-city, and just notices how...delayed everything feels. like society is suffering under this slow pace towards innovation. 

and that’s when he decides his next course of action. if he were to discover the root of some problem and engineer a solution, he would be famous! he would gain notoriety and praise and--and all the things his mother had as a captain. but he would have it on his own, separate from his mother, and separate from his past. 

he figures out his next course of action: attend a school that will give his prestigious enough marks to be accepted onto a research team, find a problem, solve it, help the world, maybe earn a little bit of that credit and respect that would make him feel like he was doing his mother proud. 

the thing i want to emphasize here is that argo’s take on helping the world comes from that morality that canon fitzroy has. canon fitzroy wanted to be a knight because he wanted to fairly and justly instill ideas of “good” and “bad” onto the world. roleswap argo has a similar moral sense, but instead of establishing rules he wants to fix the “bad” and make it “good” in a technological/scientific sense.

the only school argo can think of that can get him that kind of notoriety is wiggenstaff’s. getting onto the HOG board would mean he’d have access to countless resources and be respected by a large audience, which would give him the opportunity to make change happen. even if he’s only a sidekick On Paper, what matters is that the diploma would give him the ability to Apply to the HOG. so he drafts a carefully worded letter for a scholarship and achieves a full-ride!!! epic 

like fitzroy’s magic, i’m going to break down argo’s relation to the unbroken chain after i get through backstory stuff. but trust me, I’ve Thought Of It

argo sort of blends into the background at wiggenstaff’s. or, he would, if his roommates/friends weren’t so Fucking Out There. fitzroy is enough to make him always be visible, but even the firbolg’s massive frame means eyes are always on him. which makes him nervous!! he doesn’t like the attention (as opposed to his canonical self, who revels in it for the self-esteem fuel) his insecurities manifest more in what he’s Doing rather than what he Is, mostly because his identity is barricaded by a wall of trauma repression

he’s still plenty funny and witty, just quieter. also he’s a lot Meaner than canon argo, at least to me. because if you irritate him he Will just completely shut you down with words. motherfucker doesn’t bark but he will most DEFINITELY bite

that’s their backstories, for the most part! in terms of how they interact together:

as established, they meet prior to wiggenstaff’s on a tinder date (during the grace period of argo working odd jobs and fitzroy about to be granted immense fucking power) and end up casually dating during the course of their wiggenstaff education. argo is a nervous goober and fitzroy just likes making him blush. it’s very cute.

fitzroy is still less inclined for the romantic than argo, who remains a steadfast absolute romantic internally. fitzroy still holds a lot of the self-doubt and distrust that canon fitzroy has, only it manifests in him not taking anything seriously! which means when he catches Feelings feelings he basically freaks out 

argo still falls in love really quickly, only now he’s more conflicted about it because being in love means trusting and trust means communication and communication means Oops Years Of Trauma Are Being Unloaded Uh Oh! 

now i’m going to touch on the big points that i find really interesting: fitzroy’s magic and argo’s relation to the unbroken chain

fitzroy’s magic:

chaos is not the being that grants him magic. it’s order! 

my take on what this means for what deity is on what plane of reality is that chaos is more Needed so they are the one that is physically On Nua, while Order remains in dreamscapes because they are already a constant amongst the tangible world. yes i know this directly contradicts the reasoning for why theyre Supposed to be where in canon, leave me alone i’m having fun. 

my reasoning for this switch is because chaos stands to be a contradiction to everything canon fitzroy has going on. he has a very strict, nailed-down understanding of himself and the world. everything he thinks is in black and white, bold statements, no questions, he follows rules and obeys the law. untiiiiil chaos gives him magic and shocks him out of that complacency. they lean into his inner impulses and that rage he’s kept locked deep inside. they allow for magic to Explode out of him, rather in calculated bursts or with intent. 

which is why order is more fitting for roleswap fitzroy!! because fitzroy, in this world, has less of a concrete grasp of himself and the world. he purposely lets himself be nebulous and goes with the flow. thinking of the future in real terms is not something fitzroy Does, he has no plans and that’s Fine. order seeks to give fitzroy a backbone, to put it simply. 

his magic doesn’t go impulsively out of him. it is calculated--it comes with thoughts and intentions. the reason it surprises fitzroy when the table blows up is because he didn’t think his thoughts or wants would amount into that, but that’s what order is trying to show him. that his intentions matter. that he matters and he has to Think and Focus and Be Here.

i’m still not sure if his power would manifest as lightning??? because the imagery for the lightning works perfectly for canon fitzroy because of the random power of lightning strikes. but for roleswap fitzroy it’s more like...thunder. like Purpose. thunder happens because of a reaction--it comes with intent. if differing air temperatures collide, it creates thunder. that combination is purpose + intent equating in magic. 

i think that part needs word bc like. how would one quantify thunder?? i think fire might also work really well because the idea of a controlled fire. like things have to Happen in order for fire to start, it can’t just appear like lightning can. 

order’s manipulation relies more heavily on the concept of boosting him up as a savior/hero, rather than boosting his ego and desire for power. fitzroy Has no desires in roleswap world--he’s just there. but when he gets put on the hero track, now he’s suddenly been given purpose. and order uses that to be like “wow, look at all these people who rely on you! look how important you are! don’t you want to use this magic for good?? to do good?? start a war with a demon come on pussy :-)”

OH YEAH also he becomes a hero in this universe (like in terms of tracks) because of the fact that it directly contradicts how he views himself. for canon fitzroy, it was showing him how much more he is capable of without the restrictions of morals (i.e, king fitzroy). but roleswap fitzroy doesn’t Have an image he wants to bolster! he doesn’t think he needs it and, frankly, he doesn’t care for it. the hero tracks carries with it all these stereotypes and expectations that now directly contradict his personality--thus showing him he is capable of more.

okay now for argo’s business jesus christ this post is so long and im NOT EVEN DONE WITH ALL THE POINTS I WANTED TO MENTION

argo’s relation to the unbroken chain:

so since roleswap argo has less of an association with his past (and, by extension, the memory of his mother), he is less inclined to join the mysterious cult that his mother was a part of. 

moreover, he doesn’t necessarily believe the shit he’s told??? he’s way more skeptical of jackal than canon argo is--immediately questioning why and how jackal knew his mother, and constantly trying to poke holes through his narrative.

generally speaking, if you try to talk to roleswap argo about his mother or his past, he Shuts Down. like completely. and that usually results in him snapping at you or just clamming up completely. mostly he just gets really snippy and angry because Hey Shut Up Dickhead I Don’t Want To Talk About It

a part of me still isn’t sure whether or not argo would take the unbroken chain up on their offer. but i also know that, plot wise and character arc wise, it is a necessary part of argo’s story. so i think, at most, he agrees but is extremely hesitant and might even let fitzroy on immediately once he’s given the task of digging into fitzroy’s life

also, they’re boyfriends in this universe, so how could he Really keep it a secret for that long. come on jackal, you idiot, you know they’re kissing. 

i think he’d Eventually warm up to jackal as a sort of father figure, but only after many nights of conversation and dancing around the subject of shebrie.

OH YEAH. this argo doesn’t know the commodore murdered his mother! important to note! he just assumes what he was told was true, that she sailed into dangerous territory and was ambushed. 

during the tribunal bit If That Even Happens In This World, i think fitzroy actually is the one who figures it out Before argo. and once argo does, well............fuck!

OKAY last little bit, just gonna talk about some random extra parts of the world that i’ve thought of already: 

in this universe, grey takes on higglemas’s identity instead of hieronymous’s!!! this is for good reason actually

okay so basically my thought was that, instead of whatever happened in canon yadda yadda dog time, hieronymous and grey are fighting and it’s a pretty evenly matched battle. there’s a cooldown moment where hiero thinks he’s safe but grey uses sneaky backhanded tactics to try and get the drop on him. 

only higgs sees it in time and saves his brother, taking the hit himself. he collapses, extremely wounded, and hiero rushes to his aid. he’s cradling his brother’s body, trying to keep him alive, when grey approaches to deliver the final blow. 

hiero is completely crushed and defeated and basically will let grey do anything to him by this point. the only thing he begs of is to let him live long enough to save his brother.

now, grey isn’t nice. let me make that clear. grey fucking SUCKS and the reason he agrees is because he wants a Real War with hiero and he can’t get that if hiero is basically like “if you let higgs die then you might as well kill me”.

so, grey agrees, and hiero ends up saving higgs by turning him into a cat. was supposed to be a temporary solution until he could find a better spell, but he wasn’t the magic guy in the duo. eventually, grey gets tired of waiting and decides to do some other shit. like turning the school the brothers have been running into a backalley place for demons!!

he takes the form of higglemas and leaves hieronymous locked in his office as basically a mascot. he’s like the queen and grey is the parliament--grey makes all the rules, but everyone assumes it’s hiero. faux-higgs is more on the ground, changing things and making the school a place more fitting for an eventual war. he builds up the concept of heroes and villains being Real, in the hopes he can sway some mortals to his side when he’s able to open a portal to hell. 

hiero still tries to stop this from happening, but his pride and his self-image is wounded by what happened. he feels guilty and puts the blame entirely on him, instead of doing the whole cowardice route like higgs did in canon. he gets people to help him eventually, via mind control and all tht jazz. 

also in this universe, buckminster is the one who gets birdified instead of leon!! has to do with my leon/buckminster and higgs/hiero narrative parallels that i’ve thought of for far too long.

firbolg is exactly the same in this universe. it is hard to swap three people and i didn’t want to think about him. 

fitzroy doesn’t pick a grab. i think he’d rather a lizard, like a bearded dragon. he names him something stupid. like scaly. or kyle. 

uhhh yeah!!! i think that’s....everything i’ve thought of so far!! lemme know if you wanna hear my takes on any other elements in the roleswap world!!!!

[vanchlo]

Sweet & Sour / Part 1

**There is now a Part 2, check it out here! 

Blurb Synopsis: You're not sure why you walk into the same bar after the concert, just like you had last year. But when Harry walks in through that door again, and your eyes meet, you find your reason for doing this all over again.

Genre: 2015 Harry, fluff, romance, angst, and mentions of smut.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and drinking as well as one night stands, and references to smut.

Word Count:  5.7k words

Pairing: Harry x Reader 

Music Inspo:  Affair Across a Crowded Room by Murray Head (click to listen bc this so feels like a song Harry would love) 

*

Your senses were bombarded with the sounds of cars honking, street lights flashing, and the ringing of your ears. When your hand meets the grimy wood of the door, you push it open to be met with the smells and sounds of a bar. With the beads of sweat dripping down your skin, the air-conditioned room greets it with a smile. Familiar faces meet your eyes and nods pass between the two of you. The cool metal of the bar stool surprises your bottom clad in jean shorts, even after the countless number of nights you’ve spent in these four walls. 

“Just a Malibu Coke,” you murmur to Sandy, the bartender, when she comes to take your order. 

A group of older men clad in professional suits sit in a corner, their laughter gracing your ears. Blink 182 trickles from the speakers hidden around the room, although you can’t place the song for the life of you. It bothers you and insults the label of ‘music nerd’ you have invisibly tattooed on your forehead. The buzzing between the confines of your skull and the glass she sets in front of you causes you to forget about the song. When your eyes catch the tall figure walk in through the door, the untraceable lyrics of the song are the last thing on your mind. 

The past shoulder-length curls framing his face make you second guess yourself for a few seconds. When he walks by an ancient neon Coors Light bar sign on the wall, it lights his features and clicks with that of the face that’s never left your mind. Not to mention, your dreams. Well, neither that of your eyes either about forty minutes ago, albeit hundreds of feet away. Doubt and insecurity coat your thoughts within moments, and your attention falls back to your drink. The icy glass is slippery between your fingers, but you blame that on the person who just walked back into your deep thoughts, and the few Budweisers you consumed earlier. He steals your thoughts away from you when his footsteps trail to another part of the room, bringing your eyes back to the screen of your phone. 

Texts crowd your screen, and as you draw shapes in your glass with your straw, you avoid them by looking through friends’ snapchats. Scenes from the night you spent together appear in front of your eyes before you close out of them when you get a new text. The question filling your mind is whisked away by the very one that fills your ears to the left of you. Trying to ignore it, you flip your cascading hair over your shoulder. Nights like tonight make you itch to cut it to your shoulders, and never have to worry again about the summer nights making it damp with sweat. 

“Well, aren’t you predictable?” somebody hums with a lilt to their voice. It takes you a tick to locate the voice inside of your mind, bringing your head up and over to them. 

“I live here, so I get to be,” you retaliate, sarcasm dripping from your voice. 

The tanned color of his cheeks creases with a smile he tries to hold back. Soon, it covers his face as the hint of a laugh accompanies it. Lost moments pass between the two of you, and you find yourself admiring his curling locks that cover the collar of his button up. The very ones that around this time last year your fingers could run through comfortably. Unsolicited, a thought appears in your head wondering how different it would feel to run your hands through them now, although you hardly remember the sensation. 

“Did ya go t’ tha concert tonight?” he wonders aloud, cocking his head past the door and towards the stadium a couple blocks away. His olive-colored eyes break from yours for a moment to thank Sandy when she sets a whiskey sour in front of him. 

You let your glance fall to your drink in front of you, notes of the coconut from the rum meeting your nose. Bringing the black straw to your lips, you take a long drag, making him wait. You wish you could make him wait longer than you can manage, but the bubbly excitement growing in your gut takes hold of your actions. Compromising, you only nod your head with a mumble passing your lips. Crossing your long sun-kissed legs, your red Chuck Taylors nose at the edge of the wooden bar. 

“Again, predictable,” he titters softly, raking his fingers through his hair from the corner of your eye. “What’d ya think then?” he queries, the clanking of the ice against his glass following his accented voice. One you sometimes can’t believe the words you had heard whispered into your ear by it. 

Harry.

Your Harry.

“I think last year’s was better, I’m mad you didn’t sing my favorite this year,” you quip, shrugging your shoulders. Returning the straw to your lips, you quiet your lips with another drink. The molasses taste of the carbonated soda is lined with the tropical yet steely taste of the alcohol. 

You hear him tsking his tongue at you first before an audible exhales leaves him. “Yer gonna get it fer that,” he retorts, a hint of banter heard in his voice. Your mind continues working in overdrive, suddenly wondering if anybody else could detect that. Or is it just because of the night you spent with him in between your sheets much after a scene like this? “Here, take one. And I won’t take no fer an answer, cos ‘s notta choice.”

Finally, you let yourself look over at him, again. A twinkle sits in his eye when he holds out a shot of pink liquor to you, raspberries wafting from the glass. Taking it from him, your fingers brush against each others, causing you to wonder if you imagined it was for a few seconds too long. 

“Cheers,” he smirks, clinking his glass with yours before throwing back the identical contents of that which sit in yours. Your eyes stay locked when the frosty liquid passes your lips, the delightful taste only fleeting until the harsh burn coats your throat. 

“I see you haven’t changed a bit,” you comment with a croaky voice, coughing. You wash it down the burn with another, less sharp, burn. 

“Neither have you, love.”

The voices of Weezer sit in the space between you now, but as you marinate with thoughts buzzing around in your head, the sharp yet sweet smell of his cologne tickles at your nose. The very same smell that lulled you asleep with him beside you, and the very one that ghosted your sheets the subsequent morning you woke alone. 

“I think Fool’s Gold is my new favorite,” you comment shyly, watching how the dark Coke swirls around in the glass, the ice chips almost shining under the light. Your bottom lip comes between your teeth, biting back the truth you want to speak. The thoughts that have consumed you at times return, wondering how certain titles like Change Your Ticket or Night Changes fit your feelings so exactly. Perhaps even his, too. 

“Yeah, I like that one too. ‘s ratha beautiful,” he remarks, a squeaking signaling him taking a seat beside you. The almost undetectable brush of his leg against yours causes a breath to hitch in your throat. “What, did ya forget how t’ talk ova tha last year?” Harry wisecracks, pulling your eyes over to his. 

Caught between his thumb and forefinger, he plays with his bottom lip. The light shines off of its slippery surface, leading to unwanted thoughts blooming between your ears. The trademark dimples have caved into his cheeks, and you’re reminded of how adorable his slightly crooked bottom teeth are as he smiles at you. 

“No, I’ll remember once I have a few drinks in me.”

“Then lemme help,” he replies, calling over the bartender to order a couple more shots. 

Your lips curl with a conflicted smile, but once the shots of Fireball, Tequila, and a Lemon Drop are tickling your throat, you start to let go. 

“Wait, holy shit, is your hair longer than mine now?” you exclaim, words falling short with a laugh. Moving closer to him, your hand grabs a section of your hair to compare side by side to his. 

His eyes fall from the foamy white topping of his golden drink. His lips part, little bubbles sticking to them, “I dunno, looks like ‘s gettin’ there. Not quite, tho’,” he answers, his eyebrows knitting together over his focused eyes. 

“Oooo, I bet I could braid it,” you note excitedly after dropping your hair that somehow doesn’t feel as buttery smooth as his. Soon, your fingers are holding onto a section of his tangled curls, breaking it up into three sections. 

“Hey, watch tha hair, would ya? Tha girls love me hair, can’t have anythin’ bad happenin’ t’ it now.”

“Damn, thanks for the confidence in me, Mr. Self-Absored Rockstar,” you reply curtly, banter clinging to your words. To rile him up, you drop his long brunette lock, turning back to your drink. Away from him. 

“Heeeeey now, I am not and y’know it,” he pouts. From the corner of your eye, you can just make out him looking over at you - brows knitted, lips pressed together, and begging in his eyes. You don’t give in, and instead you lose yourself in the questionably empty glass in your hands. 

“Sandy, can I have another?” you call out, avoiding his question and his sulking, but not when his knee bumps yours. 

“‘m talkin’ t’ you, y’know. ‘m not self-absorbed,” Harry repeats before taking a pull from his drink, a rather long one. You can only wonder why. 

A smile tempts at the corners of your lips, enjoying how you’re making him squirm. Because you always thought he was the king of being able to make somebody do that, not you. A memory plays before your eyes, reminding you of how much he made you squirm when you were sitting at this very bar, last year. Alcohol in both of your veins, and goosebumps covering your flesh. Especially when he pressed that first kiss to your lips. 

Pushing it away, you clear your throat before thanking Sandy when she sets another drink in front of you. With your lips wrapped around the straw, they part, “Sure, keep telling yourself that, bud. You’re not gonna get me with that pout, so don’t even try it on me.”

“Hmmph, that’s not whatcha said befo’,” he whines, turning back to the drink he nurses. 

Yeah, we said and did a lot of things the last time. 

I really wish you hadn’t said that, or done anything in the realm of reminding me of the last time, because I don’t need you reminding me when I can’t stop remembering. 

The thoughts racing through your head almost make you want to leave right then and there, but something stops you. His hand. It touches you arm and when you look over, he smiles at you goofily with white foam covering his top lip. Like a mustache, or like Santa Claus. Your lips dissolve into a laugh, and those thoughts fall to the recesses of your mind. Not gone, but still there, like they’ve been for the last year. His rose-colored lips echo your own laugh, the two sounds mixing together and creating your favorite song in the entire world. One that you thought you had forgotten the sound of. 

Perhaps not after all. 

You watch how his lips move effortlessly when he orders a couple of more shots for the two of you, and another whiskey sour. Your insides shrink at the sight of his lips when his tongue passes over them, and then at the way the light shines on them. You observe how they move with every word that he speaks to you, although embarrassingly because you have to ask him to repeat himself. You don’t mind, though. 

“I ordered us sum more shots,” he tells you with a little nod, carding a hand through his hair to restyle it. Your fingers ball into a fist in your lap, wanting nothing more than to be touching those curls again. The very ones that fell over your face so intimately and tickled the insides of your thighs once long ago. Glancing away from him, that night seems like it was a lifetime ago. With him sitting next to you, so close that you could touch him, you think perhaps now it doesn’t feel so long ago. Then again, the few inches of distance between you detest that, feeling instead like miles. 

“Thanks,” you mutter, picking at your chipped red nail polish. 

“I like it, it suits you.”

Lifting your head, you find one corner of his mouth quirked into a partial smile. He does that thing again where he nods to what he’s talking about. This time it’s your lap, and more specifically, your anxious hands accented with the nail polish. Another ‘thank you’ exits from your lips before you busy them with your painfully cold drink. The second you set it down on the red and white patterned coaster, he places a red and blue layered shot beside it. The alcohol in it seems to defy the laws of gravity with the blue layer sitting atop the red layer undisturbed. 

“Cheers t’ reunions,” Harry mumbles, a hint of lemon flowing from his words to meet your cheek. 

“Cheers,” you agree, picking up the shot. 

Turning to your left, you find him there waiting with a smile. It gleams in his eyes that are beginning to change from the liquor. You notice this when your glasses meet with a ding! Throwing back the shot you remember is called a Pornstar, you hope the alcohol laced with notes of oranges and berries will make you forget. But they don’t make you forget the smile that claimed his face that night as he made love to you. Or the same one that you saw on his lips when he spoke his first words to you tonight. 

“Ya still at tha U ova there?” he questions, bringing a giggle from your lips when he tries to nod to where the college would be. It’s obvious he doesn’t know what direction it’s in, even if the stadium you saw him perform in tonight was on the campus, unbeknownst to him. 

“No, I didn’t go back this fall.”

“Hmm, how come? I thought ya were likin’ tha nursin’ program ya were in,” he inquires, causing feelings to bloom inside of you. Ones you’d rather not feel because of the fact that he remembered. Amidst all of the alcohol from that night, as well as tonight’s. 

“I found out I didn’t like it, and I couldn’t see myself spending my life doing it, either,” you explain, trying to douse your thoughts in more rum from your mixed drink, but you’re still only at a buzz. There’s a long way to go until you’re drunk, and you’re uncertain if you want to go that far. 

“Mmmm, ya couldn’t see yerself wipin’ old people’s asses, could ya?” he quips, glancing over at you. A smirk plays on his lips in the background, his lips hidden behind his full coupe glass. 

“No, I tried when I worked at the nursing home, and I found out quickly it wasn’t for me.” 

His laugh tickles at your ears, reminding you quickly of all of the times you missed it, as well as how good it was to hear it earlier tonight. It’s only made better when your eyes flit to him, and you find him biting the flesh of a cherry from its stem. You’re itching to continue sharing, but there’s not enough alcohol in your system to do that, quite yet. 

“I bet ya I can tie it into a knot again,” Harry murmurs, words masked by the maraschino cherry between his lips. 

You remain silent, and the only acknowledgement he receives is the moving of your head. The words are slowly getting to you, sneaking in past the defense of alcohol you try to build to ward them off. 

Before. 

Again. 

Last time. 

“I bet you can’t,” you finally argue, resolve in your voice.

“Do ya now? Whatcha gonna bet then, love?”

“Hmmm, I bet you twenty bucks you can’t after all of the drinks you’ve had,” you counter, your chin finding your palm to rest in, your eyes locked on his.

“Oh ye o’ li’l faith,” Harry scoffs, brows pointed down into a V, his curls tickling his chest. Playing with his bottom lip, he squints an accusatory eye at you, adjusting the striped white and black button down revealing his sun kissed chest. 

The heaviness in his voice finds your Achilles heel, stirring feelings in your gut that you’d wish would remain silent. 

“I bet I can, I even betta kiss from you,” he giggles, pink appearing on his cheeks as he chews on the tip of the red stem. 

Your breath hitches in your throat when his proposition hits the air. It’s nearly impossible to hide away the happiness budging at your lips, especially as you watch it unfold on his face. That face with the devilish grin and shining eyes. Drowsiness tugs at the corner of them, and you wonder if only you can see it there. 

“Deal’s a deal,” you announce, removing your hand from your lap to hold out to him. His large hand adorned with rings and black ink wraps around yours. You could melt right there and plant your lips on his that very second, you’re sure of it. Somehow, his firm yet sweet handshake wants to make you believe he’d like that, especially when he doesn’t let go. 

Slipping the stem between his excited lips, new goosebumps prickle on the back of your neck. You just hope that he doesn’t notice them growing on your arms, and that they aren’t covering your hand that’s enveloped in his. That he doesn’t feel them under the pad of his thumb that he brushes along the back of your hand. Few thoughts live in your mind at the moment, his eyes staring into yours as your joined hands sit on his thigh clad in holey black jeans. A few titters escape his concentrated lips and his eyes jump to the ceiling, meanwhile his lips move as he tries to tie it in a knot. All while your insides mimic the same shape as you’re reminded of the saying about people who can tie a cherry stem into a knot with their tongue. 

“Come on, Styles,” you mumble, raising your eyebrows at him. He rewards you with a laugh, and his thumb stills against your hand, his face screwing up in concentration. 

A few seconds later, he squeezes your hand and a smile covers his face. Wiggling his eyebrows now, one corner of his mouth reaches his ear. His lips part, and he sticks out the stem, adorned with a knot in the middle. 

“Can’t believe ya didn’t believe in me, love. ‘m hurt,” he pouts, a fake cry sounding from his frowning lips. Kicking your foot against his under the table, he chuckles as he sets it down next to his drink. “Alright, betta pucker up, angel.”

Biting your lip, you watch his adam’s apple bob when his drink meets his lips. Setting it down, he rubs his hand across yours, the same shade of red donning his cheeks as yours. 

“Fine, let’s get it over with,” you groan, trying to remember the last time you put chapstick on. You just hope your lips don’t taste like beer by now. 

He winks at you before leaning in and catching your chin between his two fingers. Pulling you forward, you let your eyes fall shut, and soon you feel his breath on your face. The brash smell of alcohol sweetened with lemon, and a hint of cherries. You taste the sweet, and then the sour when his lips touch yours. His top lip is soft between yours, and prickly from the stubble smattered across his skin. He smiles into the kiss, moving his lips with yours as he laces his fingers with your own, his rings cold against your skin. Then you taste it at the back of your throat, the sweet and then the sour. 

Breaking the kiss, you pull away, unsure of if you can do this again. If you can try to detach yourself from your head for another night, only to have it eat away at you for the next year- who knows how fucking long. 

“Nah, come back ‘ere,” Harry whispers quickly, his fingers crawling to your cheek, and then the back of your head. 

He pushes at the back of it, smashing his lips against yours once more, and you let him. Melting into a puddle in front of him, because that’s what you do best. That’s what you’ve done all these years yearning for him over his pictures and his songs. Then from the crowd at his concert last year, swearing he made contact with you once while singing your favorite, Happily. Once again, just earlier tonight when you stood in the sea of people at another concert of his, feeling yourself fall all over again, and now you know you are. 

You should stop it right here and right now, but you try to ignore the convincing hurt that will follow if you just let yourself enjoy the moment. As well as the moments that follow. 

His fingers find a home in your hair as you savor his lips between yours, pillowy soft and sopping with sweetness. Tasting of lost time, forgotten kisses, and the bittersweetness that you know another night with him will bring. Ignoring it, you kiss him back, your hands climbing his thigh until your thumb collides with his crotch. Giggling against his lips, you stop there, but wish you didn’t have to. A titter leaves his lips, followed by his tongue edging at your bottom lip. Somebody slurs ‘get a room’ with a laugh, and your lips soon part. 

A chuckle hugs his lips now, no longer yours, much to your disappointment. You find comfort in your drink, although after a few gulps, you find yourself missing the taste of him. As well as his smell, much like vanilla and spice, quickly reminding you of the saying in Powerpuff Girls. 

Recalling it, you guess at notes of warm nutmeg, tobacco, and hints of vanilla bean clinging to him. Just like the last time, but somehow it surrounds you, almost taking the breath away from you. You had tried so hard to remember just how he smelled, always wishing you knew the name of the cologne he wore. It’s too late when you realize it, but you’re smiling into your drink. You’re unsure if you ever want to stop, you ponder, suddenly remembering the tautness of his upper thigh beneath your hand. 

Your hands.

“Can we getta check, please?” Harry murmurs next to you, his fingers moving between yours slowly. More goosebumps rise along your body at his words that come rushing from his mouth. 

Sandy walks over to you, braid bouncing on her shoulders. She sets the check down and thanks you both for coming. Harry plucks the check from the table, before it’s even had time to lay flat on the tabletop. Grinning, he looks at it as he holds it away from you in his left hand. 

“No, you don’t get to do this again!” you exclaim, lips melting into bubbly laughter. 

“Do what, love?” he questions dumbfoundedly, giving you a funny look that only makes you laugh harder. 

“Pay the bill! Let me do it this time,” you argue, trying to reach past him, but he uses his long arm to his advantage. “Ugh, why do you do this?”

“I haven’t done anythin’,” he disagrees, placing the receipt between his fingers as he reaches behind him, still facing you. Watching, he grabs his leather wallet from his back pocket, all while holding the receipt and not letting go of your hand. His name drops from your mouth, and he acts as if he didn’t hear it, but his lips tell you otherwise. 

“Shhh,” he tells you, in the middle of a giggle. “I pay, that’s jus’ how it goes, so stop arguin’, cuz ‘s not gonna change me mind.”

Glancing over to you, he meets your searching eyes and cocks one eyebrow. His glistening lips do something to you, and you think he knows it, because he drags your joined hands to the hardness between his legs. Winking, he softly tosses his credit card and the receipt to the table. Picking up his drink, your eyes follow his tongue as he scoops up the ivory bubbles at the top, all while looking at you. Certain you’re blushing, you turn away and pick up your drink, quickly downing the rest as he gulps loudly beside you. 

The lukewarm summer air welcomes your skin when you step out onto the sidewalk. Busying your hands with the cloth strap of your purse, you walk beside Harry who taps away on his phone. Soon, you reach a stoplight and unsure of where you’re going, or more like where each of you are going, you come to a stop. Lips poised and ready with a question, you’re about to ask him what the plan is. He beats you to it and presses the button to wake the crosswalk, sliding his phone into his tight jeans. 

“Ya still make those ‘outta this world’ cinnamon rolls?” Harry wonders aloud as you stare ahead. The lights of the metro flash in front of your eyes, and the sounds of cars and people trickle past you. 

“Yeah. You’re lucky, I made a batch this morning and I have a few left over.”

“Great. Ya think I could stop by t’ have one?” Harry requests. Words pause between your lips, and he steals them away from you when he intertwines his hand with yours. “Let’s hurry befo’ it stops,” he blurts out, walking forward and pulling on your hand to follow him across the blinking crosswalk, just as you hum an ‘mmmhmm’. 

You can’t remember what you talked about on the way to your apartment, because all you could focus on was his hand in yours. Something he didn’t even do the last time, and you start to wonder why, before you stop yourself. Words pass between the two of you during the short walk, but the songs of the city do most of the talking. 

Soon, you’re turning on the lights in your apartment, calling out for your roommate. It takes you a minute to remember past your alcohol buzz that at the concert she said she was staying somewhere else tonight. Toeing off your shoes, you watch Harry discard his to the mat by the door. 

“Aha, there they are!” Harry cheers, padding over to the kitchen. He finds the round baking dish full of them, peeling back the wrapping to pluck one from the dish. “I swear ya make tha best cinnamon rolls ‘ve eva had, angel,” he murmurs, locking eyes with you as he takes a bite. Closing his eyes with a smile adorning his lips, he moans from the taste. 

Giggling, you take off your purse and hang it on a chair sat at the other side of the counter where you often eat your meals. Seeing as it’s a tiny apartment and just the two of you, you and your roommate opted out of buying a table to eat at. The old pet name bounces around inside of your head, and drags your eyes over to Harry. Lifting his own from the large cinnamon roll, it astonishes you how it shrinks in comparison to his massive hand. He looks back at you while licking the sugary frosting from his lips, a smile tugging at them. A knowing smile. 

“Wann’a bite?” he volunteers, holding it out to you where you stand across the counter from him. He tempts you alright, but the only thing you want to taste on your lips is his coated in frosting. 

“Sure.”

Padding over to him, his thumb ventures between his lips, licking the frosting from them. He really knows what he’s doing, doesn’t he? you groan inwardly, wishing you could spew the words out loud. You know they’d jumpstart something, and you don’t think you can wait for it any longer. Your footsteps stop in front of him, and he holds out the half eaten pastry to you. Although from this morning, the silky bread still melts on your tongue, decorated with the flavors of cinnamon and sugar. 

“Wait, ya got some frosting on yer nose,” Harry smiles. Soon, his thumb brushes against your nose, wiping it away. You don’t let him stop there, grabbing his wrist and bringing his digit between your lips. 

Observing the changing expression on his face, you suck the frosting from his thumb. Letting go of his thumb slowly, he looks like he’s slowly losing his mind in front of you. Join the club, bud. 

“Yer givin’ me a run fo’ me money tonight, aren’t ya, angel?” he rasps, bopping your nose with his finger before he takes another bite. You nod unabashedly, licking your lips before you turn to walk away. His sigh is just a whisper, but your ears pick it up as you make your way to the bathroom, leaving him to squirm once again. 

After splashing cold water on your face and freshening up, you find him at home on your tan sectional. Looking at something on his phone, he hears your return and soon his sparkling eyes find yours. 

“You look tired,” you smile, breaking eye contact to check your watch. “It’s almost one, Harry. You must be tired after tonight.”

“Not really, I think ‘s tha jetlag,” he lies, leaning back into the plush cushions of the couch, letting his eyes fall closed after all. Settling down beside him, you stretch out, looking around the room hurriedly to check for any messes. Luckily, you and your roommate had left your apartment rather neat this afternoon before leaving for the concert. Just a few discarded clothes on the floor and hanging off of chairs. 

“You’re such a liar. Do you wanna call an Uber or somebody to bring you to your hotel? I’d drive you, but I probably shouldn’t after those drinks,” you comment, your eyes falling over him. The light catches the silver cross necklace hanging around his neck, and how it moves with his chest that lifts slowly with his every breath. 

“‘m not tired, jus’ thinkin’,” he insists, opening his eyes and turning his head towards you. You can’t help it, your fingers dive into his hair, pushing it back. He smiles dopily up at you, a faint mewling dropping from his lips at the sensation. 

“I don’t believe you. Do you want to go to sleep? You can have my bed,” you offer, your fingernails lightly scratching against his scalp. With your eyes on each other, you know that you have him in the palm of your hand now, and you don’t want him to go anywhere. 

He remains silent, his eyes closing again as you play with his hair, unaware this was something he enjoys. You didn’t really have the chance to explore this as much last time, although you were dying to. His name leaves your lips in a question, wondering aloud if he’s fallen asleep. His head goes from side to side and he opens his eyes, blinking hard at you. 

“No, don’t wanna go t’ sleep. There’s sumthin’ else I wanna do instead.”

“What’s that?” you ask, his lemony breath ghosting over your face. His lips curl up towards his eyes, dimples collapsing into his cheeks. 

“You,” he smirks, sitting up. Your eyes roll so hard into the back of your head at his dad joke that you don’t see him slip his arms under your thighs, hoisting you over his shoulder in one swift move. 

“Harry!” you almost scream, losing your breath when your chest meets his back in a surprising turn of events. “What are you doing?” you groan, your face coming to meet his ass almost, not that you’re complaining. 

“You’ll see soon enough, angel,” he murmurs in response, and he begins to walk. 

You can’t play the annoyed card anymore, because excitement shivers through your body quickly. Inside your chest, underneath your One Direction shirt and the layers of your body, your heart goes wild. It hasn’t been able to stop ever since his fingers touched yours earlier tonight. It only dances harder inside of you as his footsteps near your bedroom, one he seemingly remembers the route to well. Feeling spunky and sick of it teasing you, being right there and all, your hand hits his ass with a satisfying clap. 

“Heeeey!” Harry titters as you squeeze his soft bum, seconds before he throws you forward. Leaving his arms, your back soon hits the springy surface of your bed. “I guess ya can do what ya want with me tonight, cuz ‘m all yers, baby. Again,” Harry coos from above you, crawling onto the bed to kneel over you with his hands planted on either side of your head. 

At a loss for words, you just stare up at him, your mouth permanently curving upwards. Moonlight pours in from the window, his skin glowing underneath it. 

“I thought ya rememba’d how t’ talk afta we had those shots,” he winks, his eyes dancing along your face as his hand comes to cup your cheek. Your own are tempted to roam his body, and the very interesting area between his legs. You just shrug your shoulders at him, and his grin widens. “Maybe ‘ll hafta remind those lips how t’ work then.”

[stanbillyhargrove]

Innocence

Request:  What if billy had been looking out for the kinda quiet girl at school and he thinks she’s cute as hell and he runs into her by accident and realizes she’s listening to mötley crew or Van Halen on he Walkman and he’s now 100% in love

--

Billy was always watching for her, just waiting to catch a glimpse of this quiet little thing that intrigued him so much. She was always hunched into herself when she walked through the busy halls, trying to keep out of everyone’s way. The first time he saw her run into one of the guys on the basketball team he was quaking with rage by the time practice started. He grabbed that fucker by the shirt and pressed him against the locker, looming over him.

“That girl you knocked over, you fucking watch out for her, you hear me?”

The boy nodded, scared, at that moment willing to sell his soul to escape the wrath of Billy Hargrove. Billy released him, spinning to face the rest of the team.

“The same goes for you fuckers too! If any of you lay a finger on her, you’ll have me to deal with.”

And she started to notice she was less crowded in the halls, the jocks she usually had to weave through were suddenly stepping out of her way. She worried that maybe a nasty rumor had been spread around her and brought it up to one of her girlfriends.

“You haven’t heard?”

She shook her head.

“Apparently Billy saw you get knocked down and just about killed someone over it. He’s been watching you.”

The girls face turned bright red and it was Billy’s new favorite color. He started making a point of trying to get her to blush, winking at her in the halls and brushing past her - just close enough for her to get a whiff of his cologne and feel the heat coming off his body. They still hadn’t spoke much when she came around a corner not paying attention. Her music was too loud and her eyes were closed, bobbing her head to the beat and then there was a wall of heat, hard against her face and that same cologne tinged with cigarettes and then she hit the ground.

Billy felt his stomach hit the ground with her.

“Princess!”

Her face changed from shock to that beautiful bright pink that made Billy’s insides squeeze. Her headphones knocked to the ground and the beat filled the area around them. A familiar tune hit Billy’s ears, Running With The Devil by Van Halen and suddenly he couldn’t breathe.

She extended an arm to grab his hand, his strong arm able to pull her up effortlessly. She was against his chest, the heat and the smell overwhelming her. His hand wrapped around the side of her face, his other crushing her to his broad chest. His face was too close, she couldn’t think.

“Do you want to go out sometime, with me?” His words rolled out like honey.

Her hands were on his chest, able to feel his heart pounding as hard as it could, like it was trying to escape. She nodded, her brain malfunctioning and stopping words from coming out.

Then his lips are on hers and he can’t think, just wants her softness against him and his insides have squeezed so hard they hurt and his heart is hammering out of his chest but he never wants it to stop.

- On their first date he would keep his music quieter than usual so he doesn’t come across too strong and loud but then one of her favorite songs comes on. She reaches across the car, a shy smile and a pink tinge to her face when she turns the music up. She’s drumming the beat of Rebel Yell by Billy Idol on his dash and singing along quietly and Billy can’t tear his eyes off her. He’s just in awe, what did he do right to have this angel thrown into his life? He could die happy right now, he doesn’t want to look away from her but he has to in order to not wrap the Camaro around a tree. 

-When he brought her home at the end of the date he’d walk her to the door, like a gentleman and he’d LAY on the charm. Just, he would pull out every trick in the book cause she’s not quite getting it and eventually he’d just lean his face so close to hers and run his tongue over his lips. “Billy...I-I’ve never..” She’d squeak. He’d back up, eyebrows raised, “you’ve never kissed anyone before?” When she shook her head and blushed he’d drop the charm and acts and just be SO soft. He’d hold her face in his hands, gently running a thumb across the corner of her mouth, “can I kiss you?” And their lips were so close she could feel them move as he spoke, they basically were kissing already but he waited for her to nod before lightly pressing his lips to hers. And her hands would wrap around his back, loosely hanging onto his shoulders and she’d whimper so softly into his mouth. 

- “Doll, how is it possible that you can listen and sing along to Welcome To The Jungle, but you blush when I tell you I wanna kiss you?” “It’s just...” “What dirty? There’s dirtier things I wanna do with you, Sugar. WAY dirtier.”

- They’d be making out in the back of the Camaro. Rock You Like A Hurricane blasting over the radio and she’s singing along under her breath while Billy kisses down her neck, sucking and nibbling her soft skin and he can’t help but chuckle when he hears it.

-Their first time having sex Billy would undress her and when her pants came off and he saw the baby pink ruffles he would take a moment to just take in how adorable she was. He was so used to seeing red and black lace on girls who knew what they were doing and what they wanted and this was just such a stark contrast. The fact that she had picked out these cute frilly panties for him was just, it just meant more in Billy’s brain. She blushed and moved her arms to cover her bare breasts, feeling insecure as he stared at her, “Billy? Is everything okay?” “Sugar...damn, I-I...you’re so gorgeous, Doll.”

- Their first Motley Crew concert: she’d have showed up in just a small tank top so she could buy a shirt (in Billy’s size of course bc sharing) and she’d wear in like a dress over her shorts, beaming from ear to ear. There would be spilled beer everywhere and the smell of pot heavy in the air and she’d just LOVE it, would be thrumming with wild energy when the music blared. But she’s smol, very smol baby and can’t see over the GIANTS in front of her so Billy kneels down, his jeans soaking up spilled beer but he doesn’t care, and help her up onto his shoulders and she’d be waving her arms wildly, wiggling so much Billy had a death grip on her legs so she doesn’t slip off. Someone would try to get Billy to put her down but he’d growl “she’s like three feet tall! Fuck off” and at the end of the night she’d be waiting for Billy near the bathrooms and he’d come out and see a group of guys eyeing her up. He’d grit his teeth and stomp over to her, grab her ass real tight and give her the sloppiest, nastiest kiss, and she’d be red, SO RED but the guys would leave and Billy would lead her back to the Camaro for some heavy petting, the wild energy still coursing through them.

-She’d make the cutest, tiniest little whimpers and they would drive Billy absolutely feral. When they were in the back seat of the Camaro he’d bite her neck and she’d let out the smallest whimper and he would just GROAN, “you don’t know what you’re doing to me with those sounds, Doll.” She’d act all innocent, batting her eyes “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Billy.” Sometimes he would be grabbing her ass (bc PDA always with this boy) and if he gave it a squeeze, even just a little one, she’d whine just to get to him. He’d growl in her ear, “car. now” and storm off, his dick growing already.

[snakeboistan]

Pairing: Sugino x Nagisa

This is kinda based on this headcanon I read a few months back that said that Sugino loves it when Nagisa sings for him

The song I used is ‘I Like You So Much, You’ll Know It’ by Ysabelle Cuevas because it’s so wholesome and adorable and I love it bc I reminded me so much of SugiNagi

“It’s okay, Sugino,” Nagisa said softly as he continued to card his fingers through the raven strands that sat on his boyfriend’s head. He sat cross-legged on the pale yellow tablecloth they were using as a makeshift picnic blanket with Sugino lying on the ground beside him with his head resting on the blunette’s lap. Surrounding them were boxes filled with sushi and grilled chicken breast, his and Sugino’s favourite foods respectively. The ebony haired boy just hummed non committedly, refusing to say anything in response, causing the older to sigh. The dejection the baseball lover possessed was so evident that it was palpable and all it took was one single glance at the way Sugino’s head hung low after the match ended, at the way those navy eyes he loved so much looked so downcast even from where he was sitting in the bleachers, for Nagisa to wrap the taller boy in a hug. 

“Sugino,” Nagisa said when he approached the boy, who was sitting on a bench that sat at the perimeter of the playing field. The plastic water bottle in the tan-skinned boy's hand looked like it was going to break under that crushing grip, “come on, let’s go.”

“I don’t really feel like doing anything right now, Nagisa,” Sugino murmured, still refusing to look up. Nagisa could feel the cracks forming in his heart at the sight of the other boy, who’s usual puppy-like enthusiasm never failed to put a smile on his face, looking so disheartened. He crouched down in an attempt to meet the other’s gaze.

“Come on, Sugino. I brought chicken breast. Your favourite,” no response, “please can you just come with me, just for a moment. You don’t have to do anything or speak or anything you don’t feel comfortable doing but I don’t want to leave you alone. Not now, not ever so can you please come? For me?”

The hopeful inflection of his voice was able to make the baseball lover look at him. The expression of pure sadness was still evident on his face, “Shindo-”

“I spoke with him and he says that it’s okay for you to leave without the team.”

Sugino looked at Nagisa, giving the shorter boy a once over and taking in how the blunette was decked out in a too big baseball jersey - his spare baseball jersey - with his high school’s name and his number on it. The small smile that was being offered to him seemed to make him crack. He exhaled deeply, “sure, Nagisa. I’ll go with you.”

So that’s how they ended up here, having a picnic in a small clearing in the middle of a sunflower field, basking under the late afternoon Tokyo sun. It was actually supposed to be a surprise. Earlier that day when Nagisa was packing the bag he was going to bring with him to watch Sugino’s baseball match against a rival high school, he was sure that a nice late lunch-slash-early dinner in the field he found near the school on Google Maps would be a great way to congratulate the other teenager for winning a game after weeks of hard work at practice, he was even going to make a congratulatory cake - which in hindsight was a good idea to scrap since, well...

“It’s not, Nagisa,” Sugino whispered, “If I didn’t throw that lousy pitch the other school wouldn’t have got the point. Now my team can’t go to Nationals and it’s all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Yes it is,” Sugino’s sadness was so overpowering that it made even the proudly standing sunflowers that encompassed them seem to wilt miserably, “you were there in the stands, you saw what happened. My pitch wasn’t good enough and the other team scored the winning point because of it. I had one job and I messed that up.”

“Just because you lost once doesn’t mean that it’s the end,” Nagisa said, “You’re one of the most talented people I know. So what if you fell down? Just pick yourself up and continue. And if you can’t get up by yourself then you have me and everyone else around to get you off the floor. Sugino, I’ve known you for months and I don’t think I’ve met anyone that’s as passionate about baseball as you. You’re going to make it to Kōshien, I know it. You’re going to get recruited for the Nippon Professional Baseball League, beat and impress every single player out there like Arita, play for Japan in the MLB All-Stars and show the world just what Sugino Tomohito is capable of.”

Sugino scoffed, “yeah right. Pitching is what I’m the best at but it turns out that I can’t even do that without flopping. God, what will everyone think of me.”

“Everyone has their off-days,” Nagisa reassured dulcetly, “and it’s just one high school match. There’ll be other opportunities.”

“But this was the match that would’ve sent us to the National Championship and I screwed it up. I’m such a mess up,” Sugino whispered, sounding like he was about to cry. Ignoring Nagisa’s own soft words of ‘No, you’re not’, he continued, “why do you even like me so much?”

For a moment Nagisa was quiet, pausing his movements, and his silence made the stone that was sitting heavily in Sugino’s stomach grow and grow into a boulder, his insecurities increasing with intensity. His eyes started to close, in an attempt to block everything out, to not see the look that Nagisa was wearing.

“I like your eyes, you look away when you pretend not to care.”

Sugino’s eyes snapped open at the soft melody that sounded so similar he could tell the source from anywhere with his eyes closed. He looked up at the blue-haired boy to find him looking down at him with that small fond smile that never fails to make his heart flutter and breath catch. Nagisa opened his mouth again to whisper out the next verse, resuming the process of running his pale fingers through inky black hair.

“I like the dimples on the corners of the smile that you wear.

I like you more, the world may know but don't be scared

'Cause I'm falling deeper, baby, be prepared.”

Sugino must have looked dumbstruck, with his eyes wide and jaw slack as he continued to gaze up at the petite boy wearing his spare oversized baseball jersey and who had the voice of an angel. Holy sh*t why does Nagisa have to be so frickin adorable, this isn’t fair!

“I like your shirt, I like your fingers,” Nagisa gently took Sugino’s hand and pressed a chaste kiss onto the skin between the joints and knuckles of his index and middle fingers before nuzzling his cheek onto them, “love the way that you smell.”

“To be your favorite jacket, just so I could always be near

I loved you for so long, sometimes it's hard to bear

But after all this time, I hope you wait and see.”

At the last word, Nagisa pulled lightly onto the hand that he was holding as he got up. Sugino followed the silent instruction, wondering what the other was planning before he was gently led away from their picnic and towards the rows of sunflowers that surrounded them. Nagisa had managed to hold onto both of his hands and was walking backwards, pulling the other along with both his soft tugging and the sugar sweet tune he was singing.

“Love you every minute, every second

Love you everywhere and any moment

Always and forever I know I can't quit you

'Cause, baby, you're the one, I don't know how”

Like a moth drawn to a flame, Sugino found himself trailing towards his own beacon of blue irises that held a shine so captivating it would put the stars to shame. He remembered how when he was in Elementary school, one of his classmates was interested in mythical creatures and would talk about how sirens would lure pirates to their deaths with their songs. Well, he would gladly jump off a ship and drown if the last thing he saw was Nagisa’s bright eyes and the last thing he heard was his honey-like voice. They were just walking along as if they were the only people in the world, making their way past the sunflowers that were so tall that they overtook the blue-haired boy. However, despite being the smallest thing in this vast field of flowers, Nagisa’s presence seemed to be the largest, most powerful being and Sugino was (not so) surprised to find that the sadness that seemed to fill him earlier was completely replaced by this feeling of complete euphoria - all because of this absolutely amazing person called Shiota Nagisa.

“I love you 'til the last of snow disappears

Love you 'til a rainy day becomes clear

Never knew a love like this, now I can't let go

I'm in love with you, and now you know”

“Nagisa,” Sugino laughed breathlessly, feeling completely powerless against the unstoppable force that was his boyfriend’s love and affection, “what’s this all about?”

“You asked me why I like you,” Nagisa giggled, azure eyes twinkling like the ocean under a sunset, “now hush, I’m not done.”

The boy started to sway their interlocked hands sideways as he picked up where he left off, “I like the way you try so hard when you play ball with your friends

I like the way you hit the notes, in every song you're shining

I love the little things, like when you're unaware

I catch you steal a glance and smile so perfectly”

Sugino found himself yelping when Nagisa unceremoniously pulled on his hands, bringing him closer to the shorter boy. Suddenly, he felt soft palms cup his cheek and tilting his head so that he was looking straight down at Nagisa’s beaming face.

“Though sometimes when life brings me down

You're the cure, my love

In a bad rainy day

You take all the worries away”

And now they were dancing. By themselves. In the middle of the endless rows of sunflowers. Well, it was less actual dancing and more of the two of them spinning and propelling each other in a circle and making jerking movements with their hands, but Sugino found himself laughing so hard that tears were seeping out of the corners of his eyes (although, those tears might be more to do with how much he loves Nagisa than him actually laughing but semantics)

“Love you every minute, every second

Love you everywhere and any moment

Always and forever I know I can't quit you

'Cause, baby, you're the one, I don't know how

In a world devoid of life, you bring colors

In your eyes I see the light, my future

Always and forever I know, I can't let you go

I'm in love with you, and now you know”

When Nagisa finished, Sugino couldn’t take it anymore and he just pulled the shorter boy into a crushing embrace, “you’re really awesome, you know that right? And an amazing boyfriend.”

He could feel the other smile against the cotton of his shirt as slender arms returned the hug, “I’m just glad that you’re happier now.”

“How could I possibly be unhappy if I have you?”

“Ah-I-” 

“Nagisa?” Sugino leaned back a bit and found that Nagisa had pressed his face right into his chest, refusing to look at him, “are-are you okay?”

“Yes,” was the high-pitched reply. Sugino gripped onto the blunette’s shoulders and gently pulled him back to see that the other’s face was so red that they could rival the sweatbands that sat on his wrists.

“Uh, Nagisa, you good?”

“Yep, I’m fine,” Nagisa squeaked, squeezing his eyes shut nodding his head so rapidly that Sugino thought that he’d get a headache.

“Are you sure because you’re-”

“Yep, one hundred percent.”

“Nagisa,” Sugino huffed out a laugh as he poked the other’s cheek, hoping to get the blunette to actually look at him, “you don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“I-I’m not embarrassed,” he said defensively, finally opening his eyes so that he could pout at the taller boy, whispering, “I-I just-you can’t just say stuff like that, alright.”

“What? Stuff like how you are the most incredibly amazing boyfriend ever and you always know how to make me happy.”

“Sugino!” Nagisa whisper-yelled as he buried his face into his hands.

Sugino laughed, prying Nagisa’s fingers away from his face, “come on. You can sing an entire song about how much you love me but I can’t give you one compliment.”

“That’s different.”

“How?!”

“I-I just-why don’t we just go back to our picnic. We don’t want crows getting to our sushi and chicken.”

Sugino smiled fondly and patted Nagisa on his head, “sure thing, Nagisa.”

Together they walked back with linked hands.

I'm in love with you, and now you know

[tomsrebeleyebrow]

Hi! Can I ask for a blurb where the reader is insecure about being in a relationship with someone bc she's afraid of getting hurt due to domestic violence that happened in her family so she tells Peter about it and he comforts her? I definetly get it if you don't feel comfortable about writing or if it's a trigger to you, hope you're having a great day/night 😊

A/N: what a heartbreaking request 🥺😢 but in this house, we always provide happy endings even when talking about harsh subjects. so here it is, dear nonnie 💕 all of you out there, care about yourself and never hesitate to talk about it, please. stay safe sweethearts 💖💗

‘Stay safe, Cheer up’ blurb event

A BIT ANGSTY BELOW (MENTION OF VIOLENCE), SO BEWARE! (FLUFF ENDING)

You’ve been in love with Peter since the beginning of secondary school but never dared to confess. Your shy nature always took over in anything you did, acting almost like a shield, a shield you slowly built around yourself year by year to protect you from a lot of things: stress, love and mostly violence.

But how were you supposed to know Peter would actually confess to you once in high school? You still recalled that day when the nerdy boy came to find you at the school library as he somehow knew you would be the only one there at that time.

And you accepting to go out with him definitely shocked your friends, and your own self. But you and Peter were undeniably the cutest couple that could exist, and anyone would agree on that. Two awfully cute teenagers in love.

But something was wrong and Peter felt it - not with his Peter tingle. Even after going out for now four months, you acted a bit strange towards the boy when he got rather close to you, like when holding hands or even sitting close next to each other. Your body seemed to stiff automatically, your facial features tensing as you then began stuttering about weird and nonsense words. As if maintaining some distance between you two on purpose. Mostly, you haven’t said to Peter the three famous words he magically told you to ask you out. He was always the one saying them, hoping you’d say it back to him too but without pressuring you.

I love you.

But still, you never did.

Despite whatever people say, Peter was really observant - this time thanks to his spidey senses - and he was determined to understand what was going on one for all. You already refused to hang out to his apartment multiple times, so the boy asked you for a date on Saturday, only consisting of sitting in the nearest park next to where he lived, to chill around like normal teenagers.

Arrived that day, you both casually sat on a bench drinking soda Peter brought along for the date. People were coming and going in the park, children running after each other on the grass and dogs playing at fetch. A normal Saturday. As you were talking about the next chemistry project of next week, Peter gulped before gently interrupting you, still not too abruptly.

“Err- (Y/N), can I ask you something?”

“Sure Peter, what is it?”

Peter took a deep breath in, hoping to gather some courage and finally spoke again.

“Alright- don’t take it the wrong way, okay? B-but like, I wanted to know- uh... does going out with me bother you? Like I know I’m kinda awkward- okay, a lot actually, so you may have forced yourself to not turn me down... But it’s like you’re building invisible walls around you when I’m near you, w-well that’s how I see it, so you don’t have to-”

Suddenly Peter’s rumbling stopped as he glanced back at you, since you didn’t say a single word. And that was when he noticed you, head low and hiding between your shoulder as if to disappear, and looking away from him.

“Oh God- I’m s-so sorry, (Y/N)! I didn’t mean to hurt you! A-At all! I-I just wanted to understand-”

Peter rumbled again, frantically moving his hands around because his intention was definitely not to upset you, and now he was scared he definitely fucked up any of his chance for you to open up to him.

“... I’m sorry.”

Your voice was like a shy whisper, barely audible but Peter caught it, and cut himself off, almost shocked but mostly confused. Still, he decided to let you talk.

“You’re not the one at fault here, Peter, but it’s me and only me. I just- I-I’m scared...”

You rearranged a strand of hair behind your ear, something you usually do when you’re stressed, your hand slightly trembling. When you finally dared to turn your head back to Peter, you could perfectly read in his eyes he wanted you to proceed in your explanations. So that was what you did.

At first, you were still torn apart from talking about that matter with Peter or not but then, the look in his soft coffee eyes almost screamed to know more. That was Peter, always here to help someone in need. And this time, Peter wanted to help you desperately, the one he grew to love more every day he spent with, to reassure you, to comfort you. At all cost.

So you opened your heart to Peter and exteriorised the morbid thoughts that settled deep inside your being long time ago. How trusting people and getting close to them became nearly impossible since your dad started beating your mum during harsh arguments. Even when you closed yourself in your bedroom, you could still hear her pleadings and cries mixed with your father’s screams. Closing yourself in your wardrobe didn’t change a thing. Your nights got more agitated, nightmares being more frequent than actual dreams, and you kept praying every night to not get hit in return. For nearly seven years, you endured all this violence towards your poor mother, who couldn’t do anything but only plead you between sobs to not say a word to anyone, at the risk of you being in danger too. Even when your dad left you both, your trust towards men was just inexistent and, as sadly as it sounded, Peter was now paying the price of this.

The boy listened to you until the end, carefully and quietly, his eyes never leaving your face. Each of your words etched into Peter’s mind, a heavy feeling soon growing inside of him as your story kept going on. Anger. Not towards you of course, but towards that person you still called “father” who dared to violate your mother in front of your innocent self for so long. Anger towards that paternal figure who made you fear men’s presence near you. An extreme anger because due to that traumatic experience, you were even scared of Peter, your own boyfriend.

But that anger slowly faded into sadness, because dwelling on your though past brought back some bad memories you tried to forget after all these years. And that was when Peter understood he would be the one left to pick up all the pieces of your hurt self, to gather them one by one and finally be able to put them back together.

“(Y/N), look at me please.”

With glossy eyes, your head slightly raised back to look at Peter again, cheeks also a bit red from keeping your tears in. Gently, Peter extended both his hands to you, palms facing the sky. Intrigued, you looked at him before slightly putting your hands on his to rest.

“No one in this word deserve to go through what you did during all these years, (Y/N), and for sure neither you deserved it at all. But remember that I will never raise a single hand at you, that my hands will only provide you comfort and warmth when you need it. And I promise to cherish and protect you from whoever would hurt you in any way. I want you to fully trust me, and I know it may take some time but I don’t care. We will take baby steps and we will make it, okay? Together. I can’t just let you deal with it by yourself anymore. You’re so dear to me and deserve to be happy. Please (Y/N), let me help you-”

As Peter basically forgot how to breath during what sounded like a second love confession, he got interrupted when you threw yourself into his arms. That actually caught the boy by surprise but he didn’t dare to circle his arms around your body, not really knowing how you would react. But he quickly changed his mind as soon as he felt your small hands tightly grip onto the back of his shirt, so his arms gently surrounded you to bring you closer. He rested his cheek on the crown of your head while yours lightly pressed against his torso, his heartbeats soothing your agitated soul.

This was during the embrace you finally knew what you needed to know after all this time: everything would be fine, as long as Peter was by your side.

“Thank you, Peter. So much.”

“I’m here, (Y/N). And always will I be for you.”

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