#bc this was very intense and slightly miserable

[leviathiane]

Bad: every kill I got didn't feel like it changed anything.

Slime: Sure didn't stop you though, did it.

[randomwriteronline]

frustrated abt brain not managing to write onewa getting laid. have at ye some brainstorming on the matter. as a curse

first of all why is Onewa specifically the one getting dicked down? because i say so. i wrote him getting pampered by all his teammates once (to shut him the fuck up) and now i want them to rock his world into next tuesday. something about him compels me. his bastard charms and attitude have bewitched me. so im unleashing the rest of the turaga upon him

second. communication game? pristine. top shelf. impeccable. these six have a whole system of little nudges and hints and stuff for "id like a bit of bangin if you would be keen on indulging me" and theyre never pushing at a refusal. these messages can be relayed anywhere from two weeks to five minutes before anything is in place and if the answers a no then its thumbs up and no problem. the matoran are none the wiser. not even Matoro. my boy can know all the secrets of the toa metru and shit but hes peacefully oblivious to the mindblowing Onewa Boning thats been going on behind the entire islands back for a thousand years. as he should be.

also im a sappy shit so theyre all sweet during intercourse bc it makes me :) and also because i need that stone bastard torn asunder by tenderness

now youd think mr hordika urges Matau would jump to the sex immediately given the chance and youd be dead wrong. bc first and foremost hes a romantic. hes gonna bone him to hell and back but to do that, he has to put in The Effort. must he? not really, but he wants to and it makes him feel happy n proud of himself. so hes nestmaking a new nest every time, and each one is the best nest hes ever nestmade bc hes always improving, and hes composing a lil treespeak song songsinging his lovers praises to hushwhisper in his ear while laying down on top of him, and after the first verse hes mumbling about how the next one should be accompanied by a slowdance if you catch my drift, and Onewa is fucking slurping it all up. he loves this. he can understand maybe a quarter of the whole thing bc the pronunciation is super strict but he can hear the intention and his ego is getting stroked. why thank you yes i AM the best. keep flattering me. oh a slowdance? well dont mind if i do...

Nokama on the other hand will pull him over, feel him up very gently until hes melted into a puddle, and then nudge his face into the pillow and dick him down so good he has to fight not to start screaming bc the entire ga-koro population is ASLEEP RN and he doesnt need them to be nosy abt this. she loves how he tries to buy time and fails miserably. shes speedrunning the foreplay for fun. see how fast she can turn him into a flustered mess. her all-time record was three seconds and a half but that was bc shed sent him a letter detailing how she was going to wreck him half a day in advance and when they actually got alone time he was still going insane about it so it doesnt really count even tho she insists it does

now you know hate-sex. ok. imagine that concept but less intense. like annoyance-sex. or mild inconvenience-sex. or "aw fuck, i cant believe youve done this"-sex. or that glare that you get after you say a stupid pun-sex. thats what Nuju and Onewa have. they NEED to do some light arguing before it bc thats half the fun!! usually Onewa bothers Nuju with something small and silly and Nuju then stands up and paces around very slightly angry for a moment or two before smoothly sliding back to him and pinning him somewhere he can bend over on. Onewa fakes the weakest struggle possible and tells him he sucks at a host bc he doesnt even take him somewhere comfortable for this smh, and then as soon as he gets very gently pushed forward he splays himself down all wiggly with excitement. its very cute and also satisfying to see the resident contrarian like that. plus Nuju knows this low quiet coo that makes Onewa shiver really hard bc he likes it a lot and you KNOW hes teasing the hell out of him with it. theyre playing :)

and he also sort of plays with Whenua but in that case its more like they affectionately insult and tease one another the whole time. Whenua will sit him on his lap with some excuse like teaching him how to deal with an earthquake or smth and go at it and then Onewa will say "is that the best youve got?" with a shiteating grin and hell laugh like fuck off you pillow princess i dont see you doing much, and they go back and forth like that until Onewa starts struggling to think straight, at which point Whenua will tease him mercilessly until the other is just straight up incoherent and its time to ease him down a little more gently before his brain explodes. and then once theyre all good n resting he jokes that his stamina sucks and Onewa goes how DARE you and they have sleepy aftercare banter until one of them starts snoring

Vakama is the only one who doesnt tend to dick Onewa down. thats because hes one hell of a cowboy. hell be all unassuming, invite him for tea after meeting with him, chat a while, yknow, typical turaga stuff, and then oh whoops would you look at that its gotten too late you should stay over... and when Onewa smiles and goes "ohhh you sly lil firespitting bastard you done trapped me huh?" Vakama acts all innocent and denies all accusations while also actively seducing him. master of looking like an angel going "i dont know what youre talking about" while very gently laying him down on the bed, climbing over him, and sitting right on his crotch. and Onewa just lets him bc its hot as hell when the firespitters sort of softly in charge like this. plus from his perch atop him Vakama always leans down to give him smooches on the chin while hes riding the absolute shit out of him so hard that Onewa gets genuinely winded and its the best

they sometimes all get together for this kind of thing too. I cannot describe the result bc words missing but yall can imagine it bc ive cursed you to. all you need to know is that Onewa is in the middle of it all and hes getting boned to hell and back very lovingly in a wide array of possible combinations. also his long legs are getting appreciated a lot

Onewa mightve also developed fantasies of engaging in passionate pre-toa trysts with his lads n lass back in metru nui. sneaking around. having semi public sex. he does Not talk about this bc its very confusing even for him and he might Die

and you know what the best part is? Onewa is Convinced that he likes sex for the sex, but hes wrong. he likes it for everything else

dont get me wrong he also likes the sex, its great and fun and he enjoys it, but its like a fun bonus. what he REALLY loves about it is all the work behind and after and around the actual sex part. he loves the planning and the nudges and the little silent communications, and he loves when the other turaga accept or pleasantly surprise him or when theyre the ones to ask first, and he loves the foreplay with all the teasing and bantering and touching and sweet things and getting comfy and the intimacy, and he looooooves being a lil loopy after its all over and getting to enjoy the aftercare and the snuggling and the falling asleep together and the waking up together because he fucking LOVES them and they love HIM and hes a lil starved for affection from back in po metru still

And he doesnt fucking notice bc his body goes "i want people i love to hold me" and his mind interprets it as "we're kinda sad, why dont we have sex? sex always cheers us up" and he goes Youre Right and misses the point

[uwusillygirl]

Ok feeling v validated at you posting a normal people gif bc it literally hit me when reading for service and devotion the other day (and then subsequently rereading a better taste as part of a "Chrissy's Boss Is A Dick" edit) that this Chrissy and Eddie give me BIG Marianne and Connell vibes with the way Chrissy's subservience could maybe be kinda dangerous (seems like a dramatic word but can't think of a better one) in the hands of someone who exploited it but with Eddie she's able to deal with it in a much more healthy way, and even though it's not something he really wants (although I think Eddie enjoys it considerably more than Connell did) he's happy to explore it for her. When the book first came out I remember having a discussion about whether Marianne and Connell actually make a "good" couple, whether we really want them to be together in the end, and a friend said he felt the relationship was good for Marianne but not for Connell and so ultimately didn't want them to stay together as it was kind of unfair on Connell, even if it was by far the best outcome for Marianne and the negative effect on Marianne from not being with Connell is much greater than the negative effect on Connell from being with her (I don't necessarily agree but I do get his). This series forms a nice little alternative to that in which their relationship genuinely feels like a positive for both Chrissy and Eddie and there's no real need for that debate.

Idk this is rambling and not super exciting but it just felt very nice to see that you are aware of normal people and maybe it was something that might have been playing on your mind subconsciously whilst you were developing this relationship so it wasn't so ridiculous for me to have drawn that parallel myself.

No need to respond, in fact the main thing I came here to say is that I'm really excited to see you on here. I never have anything particularly interesting to say on AO3 except that I love everything you've ever done but I do enjoy reading all the comments and the way the discussions you and others have enrich the characters so much - I'm hoping there will be more of that on here too!

"no need to respond" like i could ever possibly resist an ask as fucking JUICY as this... and i am LITERALLY in the midst of a normal people reread right now like this could not be more perfect.

okay so in terms of first one's free, normal people was absolutely sort of stewing in my brain subconsciously as i wrote it, but only because i'm like always thinking about it lmao. but EVENTUALLY it actually became sort of active when i started reflecting on that one line everyone screams about all the time the "sometimes i think god made you for me" bit and how it's like... is there ever a way for that to be a positive? like how are you not meant to mistreat someone custom made to your preferences? (so in short your parallel guess is like so right! though most everything i reblog on here and intend to reblog i think can be at least tonally tied to my writing lmao)

anyways so i tried to see how that would look like in a slightly less miserable way than normal people and how even if chrissy is like all american dream girl she's also like intense and often unwell enough that it takes effort on the part of eddie to like ... care for her (which connell, i would say, doesn't take with marianne because he's less self assured, so cripplingly afraid of other people's perceptions, and has a sort of irrational fear of catching marianne's "damagedness" like a flu).

it's extremely interesting the way we all sort of have different reads of normal people and who the relationship "works better" for/who would be ultimately happier in it (like it blows my actual mind that someone u know read it as "unfair" on connell more so than marianne like that actually fascinates me).

and it's also interesting that you mention the idea of like a "safe" space to explore inherent subservience, because "safe" means so many different things when it comes to that urge. i always am struck by the way that while they always have that sort of fucked power dynamic that turns her on, marianne's masochism, to me, only ever gets truly fulfilled with connell through their sort of fucked up pattern of him leaving her every once in a while/only wanting her for support and sex. it's like the purest form of masochism to her. and when they're relatively happy and she sort of wants him to handle it through more traditional bdsm routes (which i am so conflicted about the presentation of that in the book, but anyways. and yes eddie def enjoys all that way more lmao.) he sort of blanches and that's like "too much" for him but her groveling for him, claiming she just wants to make him happy, and all that less official but more soul-sucking subservience like really gets him off.

okay WOW so many thoughts, many of them self-indulgent, thank you SO much for reaching out! and thank you for the kind words about my stuff! i'm so happy to be here and chatting with some of u!

[horce-divorce]

we have had such an exhausting night. first of all, the heater has been out of oil for days, so it's just been the wood stove to heat the house during this storm and it's been miserably cold, its probably in the 50s in our room if I had to guess. we had a space heater in here for most of the winter, but it died a few days ago.

then today around, idk 6 or 7, I came back from the 2nd floor bathroom and noticed this godawful stench. I asked the others if they noticed it and they did as soon as I pointed it out. it was coming from the basement, it was sooo bad and thick down there we actually saw a haze like smoke and we could barely be down there to investigate, it was nauseating. It got so bad so fast that we called the non emergency dept and they sent the fire dept, who brought easily a dozen guys (including volunteers who had specialties in electric, carpentry and a bunch of different areas). three firetrucks, a cop and an ambulance just in case.

they tested the whole house with some kind of gas spectrometer, heat mapped the walls, checked everything outside and around the house, nothing else amiss. everyone could smell it, but nobody could quite place it. we all described something slightly different, but we agreed that it was chemically and burn-y. Bel said he smelled eggs or something rotten. For me it was more like burnt cotton at first, from the upper floors, and then once we got closer, it was distinctly chemical. it lingered on my breath and my clothes the way paint thinner does if you don't wear ppe.

the only way I could describe it was like... idk... I know both how formaldehyde and turpentine smell intensely, id know them anywhere. they're different and very distinct. it was neither of those things, but it reminded me of them strongly. it really, really reminded me of school for some reason.

ultimately they told us that because they couldn't positively identify any gases or fire hazards, we were good to go back inside and just call 911 if anything else goes amiss.

about an hour after that one of the CO detectors in the basement started going off frantically and erratically, but when Thorin went to check it out, it was hanging off the wires all weird. Putting it back securely made it stop chirping, and it was still on, and hasn't gone off again. the smell has also started to dissipate upstairs since we had the windows open for a bit.

it was bizarre though. almost 2 dozen people assessed this shit and nobody could find a source. this family has lived here for 25+ years and never had this particular smell.

We did get to sit in the firetruck while they assessed things bc it was cold outside lol that was pretty cool.

But now I wanna go to bed and it's just so fucking cold in here I can't even get cozy fffff :(

[harksness]

Sleeping Habits

Kinktober (now Hoevember) Day 4!

A/N: The short, curly red hair is my favorite Nat hairstyle. I just think it suits her the best compared to the other ones. I'm not biased bcs I also have short, curly red hair I promise. But I hope you all enjoy!! I'm hoping to have the last few out very soon. I'll be able to be more reliable with my uploads once I finish college next month.. I'm sorry about the delays 😭

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Smut! Somnophilia. Less kinky more soft n sweet.

Moments like this are too few and far between.

Typically, you come home after a long shift to a cold bed since Natasha is often away on some top secret mission. But here she finally is- snoozing soundly and keeping the bed warm as she waits for your return. You smile as you watch her sleeping form, the redhead completely enraptured by slumber with a peaceful aura surrounding her and her features calm and content. 

A bit of pride swells in your chest at the realization the Black Widow feels safe enough with you to let her guard down and truly sleep. In the beginning of your relationship, she’d stay awake or would be woken up by the littlest sound or movement on your end, but now when you sleep together it seems as if it's the only time she'll let herself completely succumb to slumber and fully rest. Sometimes she even sleeps so hard that she drools a bit and snores softly. You lean against the doorframe to your shared bedroom as you slip off your shoes as silently as possible.

You approach the bed, admiring how beautiful she is. Her curled locks are an absolute mess, sticking to her cheeks and splayed out on the pillow beneath her head. Her features are relaxed and lips slightly parted as she lets out soft puffs of air.

The blankets have long since been kicked from her body in response to the intense summer heat, and you've never been so grateful for such miserable weather because it allows you to admire her beauty. Your eyes trail down her pale skin that’s illuminated by the moonlight, your gaze catching on her moles and freckles, trying to commit every detail to memory. She’s wearing nothing but a tight black tank top that has ridden up to show the soft flesh of her lower abdomen and a pair of black underwear.

You suddenly remember a conversation the two of you had the last time she was home about trying something new in bed. An internal battle wracks your brain momentarily as you go back and forth, torn between excitement over trying this for the first time and feeling guilty over possibly waking her from her much needed sleep. 

Natasha also bet you that you couldn’t do this without waking her up. That she would catch you before you even started pleasuring her. Her keen assassin senses are just too sharp, she insisted, but now you’re determined to prove her wrong.

That thought ends your internal debate. 

You swallow hard as you approach the end of the bed. You count yourself lucky that she’s already laying on her back, legs spread just a bit. She really can be a bed hog sometimes. You and Clint once joked about that at a late night Avenger’s party, Tony and Steve eagerly absorbing every detail about her unexpected sleeping habits so they could tease her about it later.

You carefully raise one leg, resting your knee against the end of the mattress and sinking your weight into the plush bedding as slowly as you can manage. You listen to her breathing, focusing intensely on her features for any sign of her having woken up. You cautiously move your other leg onto the bed. 

Once both of your knees are balanced on the end of the mattress, you carefully lower yourself so that your face is in between her soft thighs. You hold your breath as her own breathing hitches before returning to normal. You let out a controlled sigh of relief, scared of waking her up.

You raise a hand and softly ghost your fingers over her underwear, biting your lip eagerly when you feel how wet she is already. Another hitch in her breath and another pause from you. Once again, when her breathing regulates you continue your movements, ensuring that your touch starts out as light as it can possibly be. 

Your gaze is constantly flickering from her slumbering features to where your fingers are against her. You increase the pressure, now softly grinding your fingers into her.

No sign of her being awake yet.

She lets out a soft moan that’s all breath and clouded in sleep. That’s how you are positive she’s still sleeping, Natasha is usually quiet and controlled when you have sex, but with her mind hazy she obviously can’t control her volume. It's music to your ears.

You press down a bit harder, now being able to find a rhythm and search for the spot that will give her pleasure. You don’t press down too hard yet, though, hoping to slowly get her accustomed to your touch so that you don’t wake her up right away.

You can feel her growing wetter with each drag of your fingers. You take your time, softly toying with her and teasing her as you begin grinding your fingers up into her more firmly, a soft sigh leaving Natasha's lips.

Your eyes flicker up to her features. She’s still asleep. You count your lucky stars at that.

Carefully, you pull her underwear to the side. You make sure that your movements are still slow and cautious, determined to keep her asleep for as long as possible. You lean in, and lick softly at her wet folds. It's gentle and cautious, the tip of your tongue just ghosting over her.

The strokes of your tongue become more firm as you lick broad stripes through her folds. You drag your tongue from her entrance to her clit, deciding to try your luck and softly, oh so softly suck on the little bud before slipping your tongue lower and toying with her entrance.

Her soft sighs have become more regular, and your heart swells. You’re reveling in Natasha’s sweet noises. You'll need to do this more often, you think to yourself as your eyes slide closed and you get lost in the feeling of her. You’ve missed her, and being able to express your love for her like this. 

The frequency of her content sighs should have you alarmed and being more cautious but you don’t care anymore. You’ve already won the bet, you just want to hear more of her. 

You slip your tongue inside of her and she lets out a breathy moan before threading her fingers into your hair. You immediately freeze, your eyes snapping to hers. She’s looking down at you with traces of sleep still on her features.

“Oh, don’t stop on my account..”

Her words are slightly slurred, eyes half lidded. You heed her words and continue your movements, desperate to please the woman above you. 

Natasha’s head rolls back as you press your mouth against her more firmly. She sighs, running her fingers through your hair as she lazily rolls her hips against your face.

The redhead hums in pleasure, grabbing your hair more tightly and pressing your face into her. You moan, the noise muffled because of how your mouth is occupied. She takes control of you, and you’re quick to give her what she wants.

She’s letting out breathy noises, her eyes closed as she wraps a leg around your shoulder, continuing to fuck your face. Again, you moan into her at her desperation.

You guide your tongue in and out of her, swaying your head from side to side to make sure your nose brushes her clit.

“M’ close..”

She mumbles out, pressing her heel into your back and trying to have you as close to her as humanly possible. Everything around you is Natasha and you don't know how you ever went a second without her. You wrap your arms around her thighs, enjoying the feeling of her soft skin in your palms as you get lost in her.

You double your efforts, not caring if you suffocate right here and now. You’d die happy.

You’re licking at her desperately, your tongue growing tired as you meet the desperate roll of her hips against your face. You persevere through the fatigue, however, wanting nothing more than to see her writhe in pleasure for you again.

Her grip on your hair makes your scalp sting in the best way as she pulls you closer, her leg tensing around your shoulder as she sits up a bit, leaning back on her elbow. You’re in heaven watching her. 

Watching as the usually stoic and controlled woman loses herself is hypnotic as she heaves for air, red curls sticking to her neck and forehead as her face contorts in pleasure, the buck of her hips against your face becoming more frantic. 

You watch with wide eyes as she moans once more, her thighs and hand tensing in a death grip around your shoulders and in your hair as she snaps.

Your fingers are softly biting into the flesh of her thigh as you watch her ride out her pleasure, continuing to roll her hips against your mouth. You help her drag it on for as long as you can, meeting the frantic movements of her hips. You absorb every little detail, how her eyes squeeze shut and the soft noises she makes as she gets lost in pleasure. Her grip on your hair slowly loosens, her leg wrapped around your back relaxing. 

You lean back on your legs, leaving one hand softly gripping her thigh. You can’t find it in you to completely pull away from her, wanting to be touching her in some way or another as you heave for air, wiping your lips and chin across the back of your hand. 

You squeeze the flesh comfortingly, tracing random patterns onto her skin with your thumb. Natasha’s chest rises and falls below you as she catches her breath.

She tilts her head forward, meeting your gaze. A suggestive smirk overtakes her lips as she watches you, raising a hand and reaching out for you. 

“I think I should apologize for underestimating you..”

You return her smirk with one of your own as you lean forward, and she grabs your shoulder and guides you so that you’re leaning over her. You grin down at your girlfriend. 

“Well.. If you insist..”

Natasha threads her fingers into your hair once again, guiding you to meet her lips halfway as she crashes her mouth against yours.

[youaremysunshine-court]

Tldr; the wwdits writers know a thing or two about depression and being tired of life, nandor is a prime example, allow them to bring about his character arc in a natural way

Nandor's 'I'm whispering bc I care about marwa and don't want her to know I'm about to replace her' gives me hope and much food for thought. Excuse the rambling because I'm fleshing this thought out as i go.

Because he's just self aware enough to know when his actions are making people sad. It means that he knows when he's doing/ done something wrong, and actually, I was super mad about this episode be guillermo and marwa and freddie deserved better, but now that I'm thinking more clearly, the writers have been leading up to this.

Everytime nandor does something wrong, he does notice. A lot of it is stupid dumb shit like getting locked in a cage at the rescue shelter. But when he pushed guillermo off the balcony during their fight, he has a millisecond of hesitation before he says OOPSIES. Likewise, when he's discussing the freddie fiasco, he considers for a moment that he's doing something wrong, then very deliberately glosses over it like it's nothing. (For more, see nadja figuring out he pillaged her village, leaving benjy alone and hypnotised, turning Gail without her consent, etc)

I believe the reason for this is a very specific turn the writers want to take with nandor as a character. It's a fact that nandor hasn't been happy for a long time, but this fact only becomes evident from the latter half of season 2 onwards. This is also when he starts fucking up more, and instead of taking responsibility the way he did with Sean and the brain scramblies, he starts to write things off like they don't really matter.

Had the vampires not stated clearly that he was going through vampire depression, it would have been evident from the way he just... stopped caring about everything and everyone. Compounded by guillermos apparent betrayal in 3×10, I believe he just kept sinking into these feelings, until he became the nandor we see in s4.

I know in a previous post i said they'd just made him into an asshole incel (which btw I do still think), I believe its a mask for the terrible depression he's going through. He's a lonely lonely vampire who wishes he could be human, who wants a lifeline so badly he'll cling to one made of gum and feathers at this point, and he's been in this despairing state for a while.

First, he clutched onto guillermo, thinking if he made him a vampire then they'd be happy. Then, he decided a wife would fix him. But she didn't, so he thought she needed to be changed. All this while he's struggling both with depression and buried feelings for guillermo. Which means when guillermo and freddie show up, happy and gay, he is intensely envious and immediately latches on to "what he's been missing".

Freddie. Freddie is the stand in for everything nandor wants but can't have. A human, slightly nerdy boyfriend, who dresses like the pits of fashion and knows enough about nandors niche interests to be interesting. He's the "perfect fix". Until he isn't.

This episode made a lot of people, including me, very very angry. But I think we need to look past this to what nandors really struggling with and allow the writers to let him grow without praising them for some episodes and cursing them for other, heartbreaking but necessary ones.

Honestly I'm pissed about the ending they forced on marwa, because yes she deserved to stab him at least once. But once again, I think that last shot of them together just highlights how far gone nandor is. She looks miserable, because he IS miserable. Marwa doesn't like him because he doesn't like himself. Marwa doesn't like living because nandor doesn't like living.

Sure, he smiles and laughs with freddie, but he's uncomfortable not knowing human jokes. Even the second time around he looks deeply unhappy when he's laughing at the roomba joke. He wants to be a part of this little clique humans have SO SO badly, but at the end of the day he is other.

And finally, that shot at the end where nandor cries after leaving freddie on the train. Is he grieving leaving freddie or is he grieving the travels he could have had with guillermo? Is he really crying or just scrunching up his face for the cameras? It all comes down to the original question: does he care? And the answer is, no, not anymore, not for a long time.

In conclusion, this has been long and rambling, but I can't wait to see how far he has to fall before he hits rock bottom, or if this is perhaps rock bottom. At that point I would like to see if he wishes to become human, or wishes that he'd always be happy. Or, my favourite option, I would like to see who the writers bring in as the person who shows him how to heal himself. Either way, the writers have brought the show this far without ruining it, and I trust them with this episode and the bigger picture, and I can only hope that they follow through on that.

[velvetyh]

⌜22:19⌝

꒰ PAIRING ꒱ dom! younghoon x fem! reader ꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱  ꒰ WORD COUNT ꒱ 1.5k ꒰ TW ꒱ degrading nicknames, creampie, younghoon is a gentle hard!dom, oral receiving (f), dirty talk. ꒰ NOTE ꒱ i’m such a hoe for this man. yes two posts in one day bc i wanna make it up for the time without posting!! ꒰ REQUESTED ꒱ nope!

୧ ‑‑‑‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑

“A-ah, Younghoon, right there,” you breathily mumble, your legs trying to close around your boyfriend’s head as he eats you out. He pries your thighs open and maintains them flat against the mattress, his large hands resting on top of them.

“Mh? Right here?” He asks against your clit, the vibrations of his deep voice making you clench around nothing. He smirks as he holds eye contact with you, slapping your inner thigh when you dare looking elsewhere.  “Eyes on me darling, I wanna see how beautiful you look while I eat you out,” he said and your eyelids flutter at shivering pleasure radiating your entire being as Younghoon’s tongue slides in and out of your entrance, a bolt of desire rushing straight to his cock as you clenched around his strong muscle. 

His hands left your thighs to come up and caress your sides to your nipples, his forefingers flickering them in such a pleasuring way that you arched your back off the mattress, whining and reaching out for Younghoon’s hair. You tugged on the strands of hair to try and release the tension of your orgasm building up, your boyfriend groaning at your gesture. 

He pulled away from your pussy, a string of saliva still connecting him to it. He slid in two fingers and you mewled in pleasure, a satisfied smile appearing on his face as your eyes threatened to roll at the back of your head.

“You like that, don’t you? you like it when i prep your cute little cunt for my cock,” he whispered lowly, pulling out his digits before bringing them to your mouth to lick them clean.  “Oh yeah, you very much do,” he mockingly smirked and answered his own question, removing his saliva-coated from your lips in a pop. He started palming himself through his boxers with that same hand, leaving a wet patch behind as you tried to catch your breath back. Younghoon moaned while looking at you, loving the way you cupped your breasts while staring at him. 

After stroking himself through his boxers before swiftly removing them, you both hissed in pleasure when he slid his throbbing dick inside you, slowly thrusting to give you enough time to adjust to his girth and length. You whined and gripped the sheets, mewling out his name as he was hitting all the right spots hidden deep inside your core. Your sounds gave him confidence, resting his fists on each side of your waist, shifting his weight on them and slightly raising his hips, hitting you deeper and faster. Your chest heaved up and down quicker, the pleasure you were feeling almost cutting the air in your lungs, Younghoon lifting your knees to your chest not helping. 

“My pretty whore is so fucking gorgeous, falling apart under my cock,” he huffed, holding your calves in a tight, possessive grip. You managed to open your eyes heavy with lust and bit your lower lip, grasping his forearms to steady yourself. “Oh? I didn’t know you loved it when I degrade you,” he quirked an eyebrow as he felt you clench around him and you shook your head before shutting your eyes tightly, holding onto his forearms tighter. He smirked, satisfied to see you wither under his thrusts, giving him a particular feeling of pride while watching you in that miserable state.

He removed your legs from your chest, spreading them wide apart before grazing his lips against yours, picking up the pace. “Don’t even try to lie to me, you just clenched around my cock, you little cumslut. Just admit that you like it,” his thighs collided with the back of yours, his head sinking in your neck and his words making you visibly wetter and more aroused. 

You remained silent; the pleasure too intense for you to utter a single word. Younghoon’s pace didn’t falter, his dick thrusting in and out of you pushing you closer to the edge in a concert of loud and high-pitched moans. 

“Answer me, Y/N. Good girls usually answer when questions are asked, and you’re not behaving like a good one right now,” he said, pressing his fore- and middle finger on your tongue, saliva soon coating the edges of your mouth and your chin. “Or maybe you just want to misbehave so i can punish you like the pretty whore that you are,” you couldn’t help but clench around him again, loving how he sounded when he was horny and degrading, yet hating how your body reacted to the humiliation your boyfriend was putting you through. 

You hummed an answer, negatively shaking your head from side to side, Younghoon pulling his fingers out of your mouth again to play with your clit. 

“I'm, ah! I'm a g-good girl, please let me cum,” Younghoon mockingly chuckled as he kept toying with your clit, feeling you clench around him harder at each second passing by. “No, you’re not a good girl. You’re a pretty, little, dirty slut, do you understand? Mine, all mine,” he said, thrusting faster at each adjective. You squeezed your eyes shut and mewled, Younghoon groaning as your hole felt more and more tensed.  “Y-yes I do,” you managed to utter as his thrusts were hard and at a delicious pace, your orgasm getting triggered even more as your boyfriend wrapped his hand around your throat. “Yes who? Don’t make me teach you how to behave all over again,” you could tell that he was getting closer since his breaths were shallower and deeper, clenching around him as you dreamed of him finishing inside you. “Y-yes Sir,” your voice was strained from the choking and your loud moans, leaving your thoughts and throat sore with desire.  “That’s more like it.”

Younghoon deafened your moans by pressing his lips against yours, swallowing all your sounds that became suddenly roarer as he reduced his thrusts to an agonisingly slow pace, feeling your hardened nipples painfully brush against his chest. while your orgasm was within easy reach a few seconds ago, you felt it slowly go away as he kept a much slower pace, just to tease you.

“I'm gonna make you beg for it,” he whispered against your mouth, your arms immediately wrapping around his shoulders to create some sort of friction between you two and hopefully bringing you to your release. 

“Sir, p-please, let me cum. I'm your pretty little whore, I swear I've been good,” you pleaded and Younghoon’s head tilted to the side for a second, a doubtful pout on his face as he kept thrusting inside you.

While you were close to wither apart under his cock and reach your peak, he seemed calm, but he was secretly closer to release than you were, which was a thought almost impossible to have. The pleading eyes and words, as well as the appellation you used were teasing and triggering his own orgasm, trying to focus not to release his hot seeds inside you. 

“W-would you let me cum if you can finish inside me?” you pleadingly asked, voice at the edge of giving out, just like your body. Younghoon’s dick twitched inside you and his eyes widened, slowly moving your head up and down to confirm your words. “I can’t refuse to pleasure my little dirty slut if she begs like that for my cum,” he lowers himself to press his lips against yours in a hungry kiss, grunting in pleasure as you dragged your nails across his shoulders when he suddenly picked up the pace, triggering your orgasm all over again, eventually bringing you over the edge.

“Younghoon!” you yelled as you pulled away from his mouth for oxygen, loudly moaning and breathing heavily as you reached your peak, thighs convulsing and eyes closing tightly as your boyfriend kept thrusting inside you, trying to chase his own release. You kept moaning against his mouth, face contorted in pleasure, clenching hard around him when he eventually spurts his warm seeds on your wet walls in loud grunts of your name. Your core squeezed him hard, taking every single drop of cum out of him before he collapsed on top of you, drained out all his semen and energy.

You both shivered as he gently pulled out, your boyfriend watching in admiration his cum dripping out of your core. You were exhausted and sweaty, but so was he, so he pressed a kiss on your forehead with a smile and walks to the bathroom, hearing him open the tap.

You pass out for a quick second, feeling a warm, damp washcloth work all over your body, a smile twitching on your face as made sure to wipe out all the white substance dripping out before helping you put your underwear back on, as well as one of his t-shirts. 

“You did amazing sweetheart, I love you,” he mumbled, and you smile as he comes and lays under the sheets next to you, wrapping his arms around you, whispering words full of love before dozing off alongside with you in a night full of sweet dreams. 

[yacoka]

FIFTY FIRST DATES, AND THE FIRST REAL ONE

──⊱ for my one and only, wee to my woo, love of my life — @doughnuts-5ever

pairing — kuroo tetsurou x reader

genre — angst but it ends very fluffily i swear on my doggie socks

beta(s) — @sugasugawarau @taiyaki 

kisses — hello i am,,, not back,, but here's a little thing that i did for my cow and it might as well be a valentine's day fic bc why not xoxo see y'all in a few days (psps sorry to everyone to has messaged me on discord or here or anything, i haven't been on tumblr or discord in a bit i'll be back sOON)

You sat at the dinner table, staring down at the meal laid out before you. It was by far the best thing you had ever tasted, and yet, it was bland. So, so bland and bitter, that you hated it. Nevermind that it was your favorite dish made by your mother the other day, nevermind that you always loved it better as leftovers. It tasted bland and bitter, and you couldn’t help but wish what he was eating tonight was too.

It was pathetically selfish of you - you knew. But how could you not feel that way when the man you loved was out on a date with some stranger he met on the internet? He had left the house in a burgundy button up that looked like it was made for him, paired with black slacks that made him look like it should be illegal for him to be out in the streets without a warning sign.

It was his first attempt at online dating after having miserably failed at picking up girls from school. And now here he was, out with some chick with a name you could barely pronounce, and the stereotypical description of her bubbly personality that loved nature and volunteered at the animal shelter. Oh, and lets not forget, she’s a gemini!

You rolled your eyes, stabbing your fork into the now cold dish. Stupid boy, with his stupid date, with that stupid red shirt, and with his stupid personality.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. That’s what you were for falling in love with a boy who never saw you for more than another pity project, the pathetic little thing that needed friends but never had any guts to make one until he came along.

You picked up the container of food and stalked over to the bin, dropping its contents into it. You weren’t going to eat it anyways, especially not after how you had  massacred it.

After you left the dirty container in the sink, you flopped onto the couch, sighing heavily as you sank into the worn sofa. It smelled like Kuroo’s body soap, though from the amount of time he’s spent lying on this couch, it was to be expected.

You leaned forward, hand outstretched for the remote. Just a little further, a little more-

The door slammed open and you lurched forward, landing on the ground with a thud.

“It was horrible. She came into the restaurant and she looked amazing, but then we started talking and oh god, I don’t think I can be with someone who thinks that only the rich should be allowed to do whatever they want just because they’re rich.”

“Well hello to you too, Kuroo,” you grumbled from your spot on the floor, flipping yourself over to face the ceiling.

He jumped over the sofa arm, landing perfectly on it like he always does.

“I mean, how can I accept that? That’s just morally wrong and if her basic morals are wrong, what about other more important things? I walked out right after that, that doesn’t make me an asshole right?” His head popped out, brown eyes staring down at you. The cologne he wore tonight drifted down, washing over you and clouding your mind with its deliciously warm and thick and-

“I mean I did pay for the meal before I left,” he mutters, dropping his head onto the cushion, voice muffled slightly by it. “So it counters the fact that I left, right?”

The sigh that begs to pull its way out is caught by you, stuffed into the depths of your stomach in exchange for a soft pat on his head and words you know he wants to hear.

“No, you’re not an asshole. Maybe that was an asshole move, but that doesn’t make you one. Besides, her lack of a moral compass cancels out any asshole you might’ve been.” You combed through his hair, drawing it out of the careful style he had forced his bed head into. “This hairstyle though? It makes you look like an extreme asshole.”

Kuroo scoffed indignantly and his head popped back over the edge once more, brown eyes glaring at you. “I worked hard on this!”

“Doesn’t make you look any less of an ass.”

“The date was incredible.” He sighed dreamily, leaning against the counter with his chin in his hand. The temptation to throw your fork at him increased, and it took every sane cell in your body to set it down on the table instead, albeit rougher than you intended.

If Kuroo noticed your intensity, he didn’t mention it, instead continuing on to sigh and gush about the wonderful date he had last night with this amazing woman at this delicious place.

For someone who was incredibly perceptive, he could be incredibly dense as well. You wonder at his obliviousness to your feelings, to the poorly concealed hurt that peeked through in every little move of your body.

All you wanted to do was scream at him, to wake up, open his eyes, and see you.

You, who had been there since the beginning, who had watched him grow from the shy, introverted kid to this cunning, charismatic man who excelled and went beyond what had been expected of him. You, who had seen him at his worst, and still stayed, patching him up and helping him to his feet. You, who knew who he was to the core, every detail, every fact about him.

But it seemed he didn’t know you as well.

“That’s great,” you interrupt him. He glanced at you, surprised by your abruptness. “I gotta go get some work done, I’ll talk to you tomorrow morning.”

“Wait, did I do something wrong?” He called after your retreating back. “Hey, I’m sorry if I pissed you off.”

“No, it’s nothing!” You slammed the door shut, slumping against it. God, you were a fool to have fallen for an idiot. Dashing away the burning tears that slip down your cheeks, you gathered just enough strength to crawl beneath onto your bed and beneath the covers.

The cat plushie he got you a long time ago sits at the bottom of your bed, staring at you. You glared at it, before giving in and grabbing it, tucking it into your chest. Stupid Kuroo with his stupid face and this stupid cat. You hate him so much.

(No, you don’t, you really don’t. And it hurts so much more to know that.)

You’re back here once more, glaring daggers at the clock. The slow ticking of the hands pisses you off, every second gone is a second more Kuroo’s out there, with another girl, on another date. With the number of bad first dates he’s gone one, you’d think he’d give up. But no, this man was persistent, and he wanted to “experience life!”

Well, he was going to experience death soon if he didn’t come back home soon. Your vigil continued, all the way till three am where you gave up and went to bed, your exhaustion outweighing your annoyance and worry. He’s a grown man, there was no need to worry about him.

Honestly, you didn’t know how you got here. To this suffocating silence that rested upon your chest, pinning you down as you listened to the sounds of cars rushing past and the occasional laughter that seeped through the walls. To where you spent your nights alone in your shared apartment, waiting for Kuroo to come home from yet another date. Like some married person waiting on their cheating husband, you smiled bitterly at the ceiling.

Only you weren’t married to him, and you certainly weren't his anything.

If only you were less of a fool, you might’ve moved on long ago. Maybe you might have even found someone who might be just as in love with you as you were with them. You might have already been in a happy relationship, going out on dates, spending your nights with them, being loved. But you were a fool, a fool in love with another fool.

So you continued to lie there, the infinite weight of your one-sided love pressing you into the ground, holding you prisoner to Kuroo Tetsurou.

“Hey, do you wanna go get dinner?” Kuroo called out. “There’s nothing left in the fridge, maybe we could get groceries after.”

You ignored him, focusing on the dimly lit screen of your phone. There hadn't been a proper conversation with him in a while, and you were content to leave it that way if only it meant you didn’t have to hear about his dates with those seemingly perfect women and their seemingly perfect food.

Kuroo called out once more, and you burrowed beneath the blanket, curling up into a ball.

No, you did not want to get dinner with the man you’re so desperately in love with it almost hurts to even breathe in his presence.

The door creaked open, and you could see his shadow stretch out across your bedroom floor, casting its shape upon your walls. It took everything in you to tear your eyes away from it and back onto your phone, though it lingered in your peripheral, taunting you with the way it twisted and leaned closer to you, the scent of his cologne growing stronger by the second, until it almost felt like he wa-

“Why are you ignoring me?” Kuroo whined into your ear as he draped his body over yours, strands of inky hair tickling your cheek.

“Ku-roo-” you gasped out, fighting to twist your body out from under him. “Can’t- bre-breathe.”

He groaned into your ear, dropping even more pressure down. “Don’t care, you ignored me.” He sulked as he burrowed his head into the crook of your neck.

A blind kick to his legs has him flopping off you, spread eagle on your too tiny bed.

“You’re too heavy to be pulling this crap,” you snapped at him.

“And you’re too old to be ignoring me when something’s wrong,” he shot back just as fast, and you were left stunned. To be fair, you should have expected it, Kuroo being one of the most perceptive people you’ve ever met.

(Not perceptive enough to see the deep feelings you harbored for him though.)

“So what’s wrong?”

‘Everything,’ you wanted to scream. ‘You, those stupid dates, my feelings, every god damned thing on earth.’

Instead, what came out was: “I’m just stressed. Work, you know?” You shot him an unconvincing smile.

Kuroo frowned, his lips pinching as he stared at you. He knew better than to push you though, and settled with a curt nod, a forced smile slipping onto his face. “So…. dinner?”

You sighed in exasperation, and let him yank you up and out of bed. The way his stiff smile melted into an easy, fond one was enough to wash away your hesitance, and temporarily dam up the river of doubts that threatened to drown you.

Just for tonight, you’ll enjoy his presence, before he gets caught up in another’s embrace.

(You let yourself get swept up in him again, chasing after the ebb of his warmth when his encompassing presence surges away from you. But you find that you don’t really mind drowning in him, not when the peak of the surf reveals such beautiful sights in the form of lazy smirks and sly hazel eyes.)

It’s another failed date that sends him home in a fitted suit, one that you had turned your nose up at. Kuroo doesn’t understand what’s going wrong, why he never felt like the date was right. The people he had gone on dates with were nothing short of amazing, with the exception of a few. But they just lacked… something. And so he always leaves them with a grateful goodbye and an apologetic smile, returning home to the apartment he shared with you alone.

He’s spent nights and days trying to convince himself that they were an ideal candidate to date, listing out their positive notes to you, and somehow he can’t seem to find the thing that made him just click with them. It’s bordering on frustrating, really, and Kuroo is more than ready to relieve some of the building tension in his body by hanging out with you.

His entrance home is muffled by the sounds of music blasting through the apartment, and it’s a wonder the neighbours haven’t complained yet. He’s about to call out for you as he drops keys on the coffee table, one hand loosening his tie when he catches sight of you dancing in the kitchen.

And everything clicks in place.

It’s a stunning clarity that leaves him reeling, and he wonders how he could have missed it in the first place. It’s a simple truth: Kuroo Tetsurou was completely, utterly, irrevocably in love with you. And it only took him fifty bad first dates to realize that the only person he wanted to go on a date with was you.

Objectively speaking, you look like a complete mess, but to him, the sight of you twirling around in sock clad feet in an oversized shirt with a lame chemistry joke printed across it was infinitely better than any of the people he had gone on dates with. You’re absolutely perfect to him, yelling out lyrics to a song that’s blasting at full volume from the living room.

There isn’t a moment’s hesitation as he surges forward, a force tugging him to you. And like just like two opposing magnets, you spin around just in time for him to collide into you, his head hazy as his mouth crashes down upon yours.

You taste of leftover pizza and something sweet, and he thinks it might be the best damn thing he’s ever tasted. The shocked gasp that escapes you is swallowed by Kuroo as he deepens the kiss, arms winding around you to pull you impossibly closer. And he isn’t sure why he’s so surprised when you reciprocate the kiss, melting into him as your hands grip the lapels of his blazer.

It feels like an eternity spent wrapped around each other, the beat of the music matching the rhythm of your hearts, and the warmth of each other.

Kuroo pulls away first, only because rationality comes sinking back into his muddled brain, and there’s a brief moment of panic when he stares down at your flushed face, lips swollen from his sudden attack. But the absolute relief and love in your eyes has him calming down, and the soft peck you deliver next settles those doubts.

“It’s been you all this while,” his voice cracks, and he winces. “You’re my best friend, and I’m in love with you.”

The smile that breaks out across your face is everything he’s been looking for, and he feels like a fool for being so blind. You’re everything he’s wanted, and everything he’s needed.

“I’m in love with you.” He repeats louder, an incredulous laugh bubbling out of him. “I’m in love with you!”

“I’m in love with you too!” You yell back, and in his excitement, he can’t help but twirl you around, and you burst into giggles. There isn’t a better sound in the world than this, he thinks.

“Be mine.” He catches you by the shoulders, face alight with adoration.

“I’ve been yours for a long time now.” Your answer fills him with a rush of delight and guilt, and he’s ready to spill apologies and promises to make it up to you when you yank on his tie hard, pulling him into another kiss. Every unspoken word, every drop of emotion that has ever begged to be exchanged between you two is said with a simple kiss.

Kuroo thanks the heavens for you, for blessing his life with someone who is more than he deserves. The weight of you in his arms is a comforting pressure, and there he has his last first date, at the beginning of a new chapter in the story of him and you, eating leftovers and dancing to songs of your childhood.

He’s in love with you, and you are with him too.

[woman-of-culture]

The traitor 2/2

Dabi x reader

I really needed to finish this bc I couldn't focus on literally anything but Dabis dick. 🥵

Warnings: 18+, smut, Dabis identity

Part One

Words: 7,864

What’s one word to describe this trip you ask? Nerve-racking, from the moment you left your apartment to the moment you entered the bus. Everything seemed like a blur at this point as you walked through the bus to find the only empty seat next to your target, Bakugou. It’s not exactly guilt you felt, you knew this was inevitable, but you did contemplate the outcome of this.

The League could fail, although that was unlikely from the plan Dabi told you, he could refuse or he could possibly join by some miracle. You haven’t the slightest clue but you were damn sure on one thing, you were gonna do everything in your power to ensure the Leagues success from the shadows. Sitting next to Bakugou you made sure to give him a curt nod as a sort of greeting.

“Haah? What makes you think you can sit there you damn extra?” “What do you want me to do? Stand for how many hours this trip takes? No thanks, if you don’t want to sit next to me then get up and leave.”

That seemed to pop a nerve in the boy, making him shout for a few seconds but ultimately falling silent when Aizawa told him to be quiet. ‘Thank God’ you thought to yourself as you laid back, thinking of ways to get the schedule for the next few days.

You put your headphones on, not wanting to be distracted by any unnecessary noise as your mind slowly drifts off to this morning.

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You woke up to the annoying sound of your alarm clock bursting to life just to make your life a little more miserable. “For fucks sake, who schedules a trip for 6 AM...” You thought, silently groaning at the stiffness in your body. You got up, stretched, did your morning routine of brushing your teeth, combing and styling your hair etc.

Ready to go make yourself breakfast, you certainly didn’t expect Dabi to still be here, let alone fully awake and shirtless in the middle of your kitchen. You discreetly admired his physique from the entrance of the kitchen, gawking at the muscles on his back, flexing every time he reached for something.

‘Holy shit’ you knew Dabi was an attractive and physically fit man, despite his kinda lanky built, but this wasn’t what you were expecting at all. His shoulders and 1/3 of his back are the same charred skin covering his face and chest but what you weren’t expecting was he smooth, pale skin of the rest of his back. The contrast extremely attractive in your eyes as you do nothing but stare and wonder what the front view is like.

As if hearing your thoughts, he turns slightly exposing the well defined muscles of his abdomen. Your eyes drawn immediately to the harsh skin of his collarbone, down the valley of his abs to the exposed, very prominent and very attractive v-line dipping to his most private area.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying the view but it’s not exactly nice to stare so hard for so long unless you’re planning on doing something about it.” Visibly flinching, you turn around, (poorly) hiding your more than flushed cheeks. “Get over y-yourself! I was just wondering why you were still here since you usually leave b-before I wake up.” “Aaw, dollface is so flustered she can’t even look me in the eyes. Don’t be so embarrassed, it’s normal to feel excited after that. You know, I could help with that in no time flat-...”

“OK, OK I GET IT! Shut up and answer my question, what are you still doing here?” You turn to face him, metaphorical steam coming out of your ears at his daring comments. He returns to what he was previously doing, which you now notice is making coffee and a sandwich. “Well I...don’t need to answer that.” He avoids the question completely, taking the 2 cups of coffee and sandwich to the living room table.

“That’s not fair Dabi! My house, my rules. Now answer the question.” Thinking he made a sandwich just for himself, you go to the fridge but stop once he called out to you “It’s your sandwich dumbass, I can’t eat in the mornings...” The last part being whispered as if it’s some secret.

You whipped your head so fast in his direction you’re surprised your neck didn’t snap. “What!? You? Dabi? The leach in my life who comes here just for the food, made something for me?“ You walked to the living room as you looked at him dead in the eyes. You leaned in far too close for his liking with narrowed eyes asking “What did you do to Dabi? Am I still sleeping? Toga, is that you?”

The proximity and teasing enough to slightly fluster him. He pushed at your face with his hand, blocking your view of him as he told you to shut up and eat like a normal person in silence.

You grabbed his hand, giggling as you removed it and agreed to eat while watching TV.

“...I won’t be able to come so often...” He mumbled into the coffee after a few minutes of silence. “Won’t be able to come? What are you talking about?”

“Well, you’re going to be at the camp in a few hours so I won’t be able to see you while you’re there...not to mention if this mission is a success and we get the explosive kid, that means I’ll have to be at the base more to keep watch and whatever. So I stayed today to be with you just a little more...” He said, not lifting his gaze from the TV during that whole monologue.

It now dawns on you, Dabi won’t be able to come in the evenings to spend the nights with you. “Oh” was the only word that left your mouth, unable to comprehend just how much this moment truly proved your feelings towards Dabi.

With a gentle smile on your lips, the slightest pink dusting the corners of your cheeks, you replayed his words over and over like a broken record. The smile on your face growing little by little as you thought of your own parents, who seemingly didn’t want you, just to then have Dabis words replay again and again assuring you there was someone who wanted ‘to be with you just a little more...’

The thought making you leap into his chest for a hug neither of you expected yet both enjoyed. “Uh, you okay Y/N?” He asked, patting you on the head. “Yeah! Can we - Can we just stay like this for a few minutes...please?”

“Sure, doll”

--------------------------------------------------

That was your final interaction with Dabi this morning, shortly after getting up and leaving to go to UA. The moment you closed your door you hoped wholeheartedly you could see him in a few days, unscathed and exactly as you left him.

“Yo, dumbass! Move so I can get off the damn bus.” “Ah Bakugou...always one to ruin the peaceful atmosphere.” You mumble as you grabbed your stuff and got off the bus.

-------------------------------------------------- 

“No more...” you mumble to yourself after the 8 hour trail down the mountain accompanied by some sort of clay beasts. While no one was paying attention, you quickly shot a text to Tomura with your current location. Your mentors for the duration of the camp, the Pussycats, praise you for the job well done and tell everyone to go to the dining hall for dinner and afterwards, take a bath and relax. The bath was a close call thanks to a certain pervert trying to scale the wall but thanks to the Kota he fell flat in the bath with a most endearing cry of pain, making the sadistic side of you giggle.

The next day was all about quirk training. Aizawa explained that everyone has grown emotionally but now was the time to focus on physical growth. Everyone got set up with personalized training, such as Bakugou dunking his hands in boiling water or Sero producing tape nonstop. You got set up with your own training regime and solely focused on that till about 4 PM - with the exception of a few breaks where you decided to snoop around a bit and ask one of the Pussycats if there were going to be more teachers here later on and the next days activities.

After the excruciating training, everyone was given the task of making dinner for the night, that being curry.

You smiled to yourself as you reminisced on the last time you made curry.

-------------------------------------------------- 

You made your way home, exhausted and sore from the sparing session you just had with Dabi. He was merciless but you couldn’t deny the immeasurable help he provided, pushing himself and you past your limits after such a tiring day.

You opened the door to your apartment and set what little ingredients you got on the way back. “So Dabi, what do you want to eat?” You asked, expecting him to ramble on and on about some complicated meals, forcing you to make a whole feast.

“Curry.” The one word response had you looking at him with an eyebrow raised. “That’s it? Just curry?” “Yeah, got a problem with it or something?” He questioned, sitting on the couch with you following shortly. “No, not at all. I was just expecting something...more?” “You want me to name more? Ok, let’s start with-...”

“No, no. Too late now, I’m gonna go make the best damn curry you’ve ever had in your life.” You jump up before he can get a word in and head straight for the kitchen.

He looked at the direction you ran off to, a small smile making it’s way on his face as he thought of the enthusiasm you displayed just to cook some food. He’d never tell you, but the only reason he asked for just curry is because it was easier to make, filling and took less time. He knew you were exhausted, mentally (from the meeting with HandMan) and physically (from your intense training session), so he wanted to lessen the burden. This is when he truly began to care for someone again, to care for their well-being. The thought putting an even bigger smile on his face.

--------------------------------------------------

Somewhere in the distance, on a cliff overlooking the whole forest lay 4 villains. 2 who you were very familiar with, that being Dabi and Toga. The last 2 you’ve never met before (thanks to your decrease in bar visits). One stood tall with a mask covering his face and a cloak covering his whole body from head to toe while the other had some sort of gasmask. 

“Throbbing, it’s throbbing. Let’s hurry up already” The one with a mask covering his face said, antsy to start a fight. “Need I remind you Muscular of the one person you can’t fight?” Dabi asked, turning with a glare towards the said villain. 

“Some (hair color and length) haired bitch with (eye color) eyes, riiight? What does it matter if I fight her? If I just passed her wouldn’t it seem suspicious? How about I break a few bones for good measure?” He taunted with a shit eating grin adorning his face. “Do that and I burn you till there's nothing left, not even ashes...” Dabi answered with full confidence, knowing he could easily cremate him - even with his quirk. 

He scoffed, side-eyeing him. “What’s even the deal with her? Is she your personal slut or something? If she’s here, that means she’s a hero or student right? And I came here to fuck up every hero, present or future.” 

Dabi, just about having enough of his ‘colorful’ language towards you turns but gets cut of by Toga. “Oh don’t be silly, how do you think we know the location of the camp? She’s the traitor amongst them.” 

“Exactly, so we are currently here waiting for her to send a message about tomorrows activities and the attack plan.” Dabi monotonously to everyone he was already forming a plan to keep him as far away from you as possible.

--------------------------------------------------

A new morning dawns and a new day of quirk training begins. Everyone resumed their training like normal except you who was more than visibly nervous thanks to the attack happening this evening at the test of courage. 

By some miracle, you were able to locate a schedule left behind by one of the Pussycats detailing how after dinner there was going to be a test where Class B will try to scare Class A to prove their courage and creatively use their quirks. It seemed like the perfect opportunity given that Bakugou will be with one person in the middle of the woods without any teachers nearby.

When the time came you were paired up with Midoriya to be the last pair to enter the woods.

‘Perfect’ There was no better scenario, you will be able to go to the cabin in no time once the students will be inevitably forbidden to fight unless there was a need for it.

The fifth team, Uraraka and Tsuyu, have just left into the forest leaving you, Midoriya, Ojiro, Mineta, Iida, Koji and the Pussycats.

You’ve sort of isolated yourself from the group because you couldn’t act like everything's fine while in reality you were practically shaking with nerves. The problem was, you weren’t afraid for your well being, you were terrified for Dabis. You knew he was a more than capable fighter since you have sparred with him on more than one occasion but that still did little to ease your nerves.

Just as you were about to question what’s taking them so long you felt a harsh scent of black smoke in the air.

‘Ah, only Dabi can create such a fire to the point of instantly calming my nerves with the warmth it spreads.’ you thought as your attention was brought back by Pixie-bob’s head being smashed into the ground thanks to Magne, and Spinners instantaneous voice breaking the silence.

Game on...

--------------------------------------------------

As instructed by the Pussycats you, Iida, Mineta, Koji and Ojiro ran towards the camp where you would have no other part in this attack. Your nerves for Dabi were hidden by the fact everyone thought it was because of the villains. You no longer needed to hide the fact you were shaking, eyes wide as saucers and slowly tearing up as you ran full speed trying to get away from the situation behind you.

Just a little more

Just a little...

“SENSEI!” The boys yelled for Aizawa the moment they saw the villain he pinned down...the same villain you hopped was far, far away from here...

“D-dabi...” You muttered, way behind anyone to hear as you stopped the moment the clearing came into view. ‘It can’t be...’ The thought of can and can’t leaving your mind the moment his head turned in your direction, making direct eye contact for just a second. In that second you clearly saw Dabis gorgeous teal eyes looking at you as if he didn’t expect you to be here.

You started heaving, chest rising up and down rapidly as you processed the scene in front of you. What was he doing here? You specifically warned him about Aizawa and that he couldn’t possibly fight him one on one. Dabi wasn’t the physical type, he relied on his quirk too much making him unable to fight someone like Aizawa for he would lose fast and hard.

You gulped feeling bile rise to your throat as you thought of your next move. No way...no way were you letting Dabi get caught. It would cost you your cover but you didn’t care. Taking a step closer, you decided to use the element of surprise to shock Aizawa with a simple attack, enough to distract him so you and Dabi could escape.

Before that could happen, Dabi used Aizawas shock at your arrival to get out of his hold and stand up. “This is as much damage as I can take, huh?” What did he mean by...that?

“Hey hero...” The capturing weapon gets tighter around him until it goes right threw him, revealing that the Dabi Aizawa was fighting was nothing more than a clone. “Are your students important?” He asked whilst looking at him straight in the eyes and disappearing into nothing but some brown sludge on the ground.

You couldn’t believe it...you almost blew your cover for a fucking clone...

--------------------------------------------------

“Ah, dollface what took you so long?” Dabi asks as you enter the bar in full disguise - a hood covering your hair and a mask covering 3/4 of your face. It’s a pretty simple porcelain mask covering the top half of your face and half of your mouth with a complex pattern around the eyes. You even bought a voice-changer for this specific ‘guest’ of yours so he wouldn’t recognize you.

“Had some trouble after the mission” You answered, your voice (deeper/higher) than normal and a bit more mature-sounding. You walked up to Bakugou, chained to the chair like some sort of animal, examining for any injuries received during the attack. He lowly growled his disapproval for your proximity and told you to back off, which you complied to. Stepping to the farthest corner of the room away from everyone else you sat there while Tomura had a chat with him.

After a while it got extremely boring just hearing constant ‘join us’ and ‘no’-s. “What’s got you so moody doll? You haven’t even said hi.” Dabi whispered as he leaned on the wall close to you.

“Nothing Dabi, I’m just not in the mood to talk.” Was your only response as you got up and made your way to the back of the bar. “Say, Bakugou-kun. Do you want anything to eat? Drink? You haven’t had anything in a while now, and the situation surely can’t be helping that”

“I don’t want anything your shitty ass makes, it would probably taste like crap anyways.” As if on cue, his stomack faintly growls signaling his obvious hunger. You rolled your eyes taking the simple sandwich you made to stand in front of him.

“Look Bakugou-kun. You can either eat this sandwich you watched me make so you could be assured I didn’t spike it, or you can sit there hungry until you starve. Your choice.” “And how am I supposed to eat with my hand completely restrained dumbass?”

“Aaw, does the baby want me to feed him then?” “FUCK NO YOU CUNT!” You giggled to yourself, amused at how Bakugou could be in this situation yet be so feisty at the same time.

During the whole conversation Dabi looked at you and him spitefully. So you didn’t want to talk to him yet you can joke with the brat like it’s second nature? He fumed on the inside yet kept quite as Shigaraki had something to say.

“That’s enough out of you (villain name). Leave it at the table and sit down.” You huffed yet complied as you sat in your previous position near Dabi. “So what was that about?” He tried to ask, emotionless as ever. “What was what about?” You ask, avoiding his burning gaze at the side of your face.

“That? You refuse to speak to me and immediately after hang around the brat as if he were your boyfriend. Mind telling me what I did so wrong for this sort of treatment?” It was subtle, but you could detect a hint of annoyance in his voice. This made you angrier and more annoyed than you previously were. What right did he have to be upset with you?

“Oh, I don’t know Dabi.” You sarcastically said as his name dripped like poison from your lips. “Maybe it was the fact you didn’t bother to tell me you had Twice make clones to distract Eraser. Or the fact I almost blew my cover trying to rescue a goddamn clone!” You whisper shouted, making sure no one but him caught the last part.

Meanwhile Tomura was giving Bakugou some speech about how corrupt hero society really is. You didn’t really pay attention thanks to the anger slowly boiling in your veins towards the man in front of you.

“Is that all? Really? You’re an idiot if you planned to do something as stupid as try to help ‘me’ escape, even if that wasn’t a clone.” His jealousy and anger ranting before the logical side of his brain could speak as he glared at you with anger, confusion and a hint of sadness. “I didn’t know you were going to retreat back to the camp. For all I knew, you were around the explosive kid over there. Was that why you were so apposed to this mission, you didn’t want us kidnapping your little boyfriend and him finding out the truth?”

Taken aback you do nothing but look at him as Tomura says to let Bakugou go (his order not reaching your ears because of your own conversation). He ignored him and simply told Twice to do it as he was still expecting an answer from you.

“I can’t believe it...you know full well why I rejected this plan and it was NOT for something so - so implausible.” You shake your head as your voice cracks at the end of the sentence.

“And what do you mean that’s all? I was scared for you, I actually believed you went to fight Eraser on your own. I wanted to help you because I care for you, I couldn’t possibly see you behind bars knowing I could’ve prevented it!”

“I never asked for you to care for me!” He didn’t even let you finish your little rant, slowly loosing what little patience he had, his calm-ish charade cracking. “There is no reason why you would waste your time with that and risk all the time you put into...infiltrating them.” He whispered the last part as he noticed several eyes drawn to the conversation.

“No...reason?” You looked at him in disbelief “Of course there’s a reason! I could never NOT care for you” Your voice, along with you agitation, slowly went higher as the sentence continued. “WHY? Why would you care enough to risk everything?!” He followed your lead, voice getting louder.

“BECAUSE I THINK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!”

...

You could literally hear a pin drop at the end of your outburst. Everyone looked at you two. Even Shigaraki, who was now in front of an unrestrained Bakugou - who took advantage of the moment and set off an explosion right in his face, causing ‘father’ to be knocked off.

Everyone looked mortified, you most of all for both your outburst and the new development in Bakugous case, knowing that he was most likely going to get killed now.

“My bad for ruining the moment but I’ve listened to his endless talking long enough. Idiots can’t get to the point so they’re always talking for a long time. Basically you mean ‘We wanna harass people, so please join us,’ right?”

Oh he was soo fucked.

But what surprised you the most was the fact Shigaraki didn’t attack. No, he even ordered to not even touch him. Was this really Shigaraki? In any other situation he would instantly decay any person that dares touch ‘father’ let alone knock him off his face. He just calmly picked up ‘father’, placed it on his face and continued to talk. Has he...matured?

You though in complete disbelief, forgetting your outburst from a minute ago. But the person beside you refused to look away from your side profile, even to see Shigarakis next actions.

‘In love’ being the only phrase in his mind.

While there was a stare down happening between Shigaraki and Bakugou, a knock sounded from the door.

“Hello, this is Pizza-La, Camino store.”

You raised an eyebrow in suspicion as you looked around the room. “The fuck? Who ordered piz-...”

You weren’t even able to finish you question when a loud and obnoxious “SMAAASH!” was heard throughout the bar as, low and behold, All Might comes crashing threw the wall, throwing debris in every which direction making it impossible to see for a few seconds due to the dust that came along with it.

Those few seconds proved incredibly important as you weren’t able to see a piece of brick flying straight for your face, cracking your mask almost down the middle, barely keeping itself up at that point. The breeze that accompanied almost threw your hood down but thankfully Dabi was there to secure it into place. You looked at him, being reminded of your earlier mistake but quickly focused on the battle as Kamui Woods came next and captured everyone.

As Dabi was focusing on setting the trees on fire he didn’t notice Gran Torino who instantly knocked him out with a single kick. You screamed out his name, your voice-changer not functioning as your scream cracked in the middle, revealing your real voice for a second.

When Kurohiri tried to summon the Nomu waiting in the secret location, he was unable to teleport them as they seemed to be missing from their usual spot. Next he tried to teleport everyone out but was promptly knocked out by Edgeshot who seemed prepared for his next move.

‘No’...You were surrounded, unable to lift a finger and your mask slowly cracking and sliding down your face. ‘What now..think Y/N, think...’

“Didn’t I tell you earlier that it’d be in your best interest to stay put?” Gran Torino said as he began calling out every villain in the bar.

...Kenji Hikiiski

...Atsuhiro Sako

...Shuicki Iguchi

...Himiko Toga

...Jin Bubaigawara

You waited with bated breath...waited for your own name to be called out, maybe even Dabis but that’s where the list ended. ‘That’s it? That means they don’t know who I am just yet.’ The ray of hope diminishing the moment you realized the condition of your mask, as soon as it falls off every single person in the room will know your identity. Your heartbeat began to pick up it’s pace, panic setting in.

You looked around the room, trying to think of something...anything! that could possibly help in this situation. Your focus breaking the moment Tomura shouted ‘I hate you’ towards the no.1 hero.

Grayish-black liquid encompassed everyone in the bar, including yourself. ‘The Hell?! What is this?’ You thought panicking even more until Tomura mumbled on word.

‘Master?’ You questioned...MASTER, OF COURSE!

Relief set in at the thought of master saving you, looking over at Dabi you couldn’t help the serene close of your eyes the moment you saw him getting teleported as well. Thank God.

--------------------------------------------------

You fell to the ground with a thud as you looked at your surroundings. Everyone was here, including Bakugou, with master standing in the front speaking to Tomura. You quickly looked around spotting Dabi on the ground, laying still unconscious.

Quickly picking yourself of the ground you made your way to Dabi, picking his head up and laying it on your thighs so he could be somewhat comfortable, even if he wasn’t awake yet. However, you felt your mask cracking completely and falling to the ground. You quickly set your gaze downwards before Bakugou could get a look at your face, thankfully he seemed to be preoccupation with starring at master, a quite intimidating man who, by the looks of it, defeated 3 pro’s by himself, including the no.4 hero Best Jeanist.

Discreetly, you tugged on Mr. Compresses pant leg. “Atsuhiro, I know this isn’t the best time to ask, but could you give me your mask?” You ask whilst taking a peak at him to show him your mask completely broke.

“Of course, Y/N. Here.” He whispered back, handing you his mask. You mumbled your thanks as you looked at master who was having his own monologue.

“You’re here, after all, aren’t you?” ‘Oh for fucks sake, it isn’t over yet?’

Like an instant headache, All Might comes swooping in from the sky, attacking master instantly. Toga comes to you, protecting you since you couldn’t use your quirk with All Might and Bakugou here...plus the few uninvited guests behind a wall of debris. This just got a whole lot more interesting.

You let Atsuhiro use his quirk on Dabi whilst you took the pearl, securing it in your small weapons carrier you had for these types of situations. As instructed, everyone began attacking Bakugou hopping to recapture him.

While you were in the air thanks to some attack strategies you planned out with the rest a while back, you noticed Midoriya, Kirishima, Iida and Todoroki getting ready to execute some sort of plan to get to Bakugou. You landed just in time to see them propell themselves using Midoriyas quirk and then using Iidas boosters on Todorokis ice to fly high and fast. Kirishima yelled for Bakugou to come to them - which he did.

Ah, a truly brilliant strategy to save Bakugou whilst not engaging in head to head battle. You noticed Todoroki and Yaoyorozu making a quick escape but only smirked as you watched them leave. A sort of apology from you to them.

Since there was no longer a reason to stay, master urged us to leave, forcing Magnes unconscious body to propel every male towards you and Himiko, who were conveniently placed in front of the portal he forced Kurogiri to make a few minutes prior.

‘Well, this is gonna hurt’ You thought as 3 guys came crashing into you full force.

--------------------------------------------------

Dabi suddenly awoke with a searing headache, he couldn’t focus on his surroundings let alone remember what happened the moment prior to him pacing out.

“Good morning, here are some painmeds if the headache gets worse and the water is next to the bed on the table. I’ll be coming back every hour to check up on you, so don’t worry, get some rest and sleep it off.” You quickly mumbled as you noticed Dabi was finally awake after a few hours of taking care of him and non-stop worrying. Before he could make sense of the situation, you quickly left the room to go God knows where.

As he was left alone for a few seconds he finally remembered what happened a few hours prior, the old geezer of a hero knocked him out when he was about to burn the restraints off everyone. He looked around the room, noticing he was in a unfamiliar surrounding. A black blanket covering his form, a small work desk not even 2 meters away from him and a wardrobe on the opposite end of the room.

After analyzing his surrounding he remembered your brief words to him before your departure, everything slowly falling into place. He got injured so you took him to your apartment and cared for him until he awoke.

He also remembered your last conversation, or rather confession. He knew he needed to go to you and make sense of the whole situation but he was unable to get off the bed as he felt something restraining his left arm.

Handcuffs - kinky, but currently not appreciated.

--------------------------------------------------

For the past 2 hours you’ve been in the kitchen making all sorts of dishes just to pass the time and make up excuses not to go to your room. It’s been fun while it lasted but you couldn’t avoid this any more, what ere you going to do? Starve him to avoid him?

You made your way to the room, a millimeter away from the doorknob, second-guessing this whole thing. You turned around to leave and buy yourself another hour but a voice was heard on the other side of the door.

“You know, it’s quite rude to say you’ll be back in an hour and then leave for 2.”

‘Fuck’ was your sole thought as you entered the room, completely unaware of his expression as you looked to the foot of the bed, avoiding his gaze as much as possible.

“Sorry...the food took a bit more time to prepare than I thought” You mumbled as you made your way to the table near his bed, placing everything neatly and getting ready to leave.

As you turned around he grabbed you with his left arm, stopping you in your tracks. “You know we need to talk dollface.” He said as he pulled you a little closer to the bed.

“What’s there to talk about Dabi? I made a fool of myself in front of the whole League and practically yelled something neither of us was ready to hear... - wait” You exclaimed as soon as you noticed something was off. “Didn’t I cuff your left hand to the bed-?”

As soon as the thought left you he yanked you completely onto the bed, trapping you between himself and the mattress. Comfortably straddling your legs and cuffing both of your arms, in record time, to the bed frame so you couldn't struggle.

“ThE Hell are you DOing?” Your voice comes out as a shriek due to the immense surprise you felt in that predicament.

“Dabi, gEt off! You’re heavy and this is NOT the time to tease me” Tears formed in your eyes and your cheeks felt as if they were on fire, your struggling coming to an end once you realized he wasn’t budging. You gazed at his face, biting your tongue in anticipation for his next move.

He moved even closer if that was possible, looking at you straight in the eyes as your breath caught in your throat.

“What do you mean ‘you think’ you’re in love with me?”

Being caught off guard by the unexpected question, you just dumbly hummed a quiet ‘huh?’

“You said it earlier loud and clear, ‘I think I’m in love with you’, are you not sure Y/N?” The moment he used your real name instead of doll or dollface, you knew he was completely serious, no hint of sarcasm or malice laced in his voice as he kept on starring at your wide eyes.

His eyes encouraged you, silently begging for an answer as you moved your gaze away from him - a distraught look on your face.

“I...don’t know...” He slowly backed off, ready to get off you at your short response. “I get it...” But you continued before he could uncuff you and leave.

“I don’t know what it’s like to love someone! I- I have never had parental love, no friends and I certainly don’t know what it’s like to have romantic feelings since no one ever knew me and fully accepted me for me!” You quickly responded with your eyes closed, fearing his expression.

“Every time someone tried to talk to me I immediately thought ‘What if they find out I’m a villain, what if they don’t listen to my reasoning and stab me in the back the moment I turn around?’ I’m afraid of people abandoning me as soon as it gets dangerous! I can’t go threw that, not again!“ You quietly sob as one of your eyes opened, unable to see Dabi clearly threw the tears.

“But not you, you protected me and cared for me. I don’t want you to leave, I don’t want you to hate me. I love it when you break into my apartment, I love it when you eat with me, I love it when you train with me, I love it when you accidentally fall asleep on me, I love your perverted comments and even your complaints,

I love YOU Dabi!”

You finished, finally looking at him straight in the eyes to make your point clear.

“That’s stupid” was his only response as he leaned backwards, sitting upright with a look you couldn’t describe. Baffled, you were unable to respond, feeling empty. You wish you could cry but you stared at him unblinkingly, asking why he thought it was ‘stupid’.

“You say I know everything important in your life, your past, your present. And you’re right. I care for you deeply, more than I’d like to admit, I want for you to succeed, I want you to be happy because of all I know about you. But that doesn’t go both ways.” You could only stare at him as he continued his monologue.

“ I have a lot more baggage than you’re ready for, doll. You claim to love me when you know nothing about me, not even my name.”

“So let me get to know you.” Was your simple answer. “You’re right, I don’t know your past but I do know you now. You’re a firm believer in Stains ideology, you prefer spicy over sweet and you snore when you sleep.” You giggle at the end, remembering the first time you were there when he slept.

“I know there’s a lot I don’t know about you, but I’m willing to put in the effort to try. I want to get to know you Dabi and I want to help carry that baggage you so desperately need help with, that is, if you’re willing to give me a chance?”

“I was hoping you’d say something so cheesy.”  Without missing a beat, his lips smashed ageings yours with fervor and a clear goal in mind to show you just how much he cares.

The different texture creating an almost intoxicating feeling, but of course, a simple peck was no good in his book. He tugged at your bottom lip as you complied almost instantly. His tongue invaded your mouth, creating incredible friction with his tongue piercing you didn’t know he had.

The longer the kiss lasted the faster his hands started roaming your body, every dip and every curve being explored with his abnormally warm hands. You wanted nothing more than to return the favor but unfortunately your hands were tied to the bed and no matter how much you struggled you couldn’t get free.

“D-Dabi...” You said in between impossibly short breaks he took for air. “Uncuff me, hah, I want- I want to touch you too.” You pleaded with a fog in your eyes, not being able to focus on anything other than the man in front of you - who situated himself between your legs during your little request.

“Not a chance doll, do you know what you did to me every time you teased me, even as a joke? Well now it’s payback time.” He finished whilst simultaneously sliding your shirt up to your hands, revealing your chest clad in nothing but a deep purple bra.

He went straight for your neck with a goal to leave the biggest and darkest mark humanly possible. He bit down, sucked and licked every surface your neck had to offer, leaving a few dark bruises in his wake. He bit down particularly hard on a spot just bellow your collarbone, breaking your silence as you let out a barely audible gasp and mewl.

He thrived on the thought that you didn’t mind some pain with your pleasure, smirking sadistically as you tried to ignore the hard-on that was pressing against your thigh. But the more you wiggled and squirmed the more prominent the bulge got, pressing higher and higher.

His hands move stealthily, agonizingly slowly against your chest and over to the back where he proceeded to remove it by burning the straps off. His knuckles barely brush against your now bare nipples as he eased his way down, truly a tease. He took a moment to look at your eyes, piercing blue staring at crystal (eye color). His eyes displayed nothing but dominance and a need for pure, white hot pleasure, you’d shiver if it wasn’t for the overbearing heat coming from his body and actions.

He smiles lazily, his hands withdrawing completely and to your sides where he leans a bit over you to look at you straight in the eyes.

“Tell me princess, what do you want next?” He husks right into your ear as you put no thought in your answer. “Anything, I don’t care what you do just as long as you make me come.”

“That’s not very specific doll, use your words and pick one - tongue or fingers” He situated himself back between your legs, taking off your shorts and (not so subtly) stares at your matching lingerie, taking in the dark spot with an ever growing smirk. “How about both?”

“Now that’s an answer I like.” His palms slowly drag up your calves as he places kisses along your thighs, getting closer and closer to the spot you wanted, needed the most. His fingers inch up higher and higher, under your lingerie, kneading the flesh of your ass. His tongue trails along your lower lips, getting only a taste of what’s to come.

You roll your hips to meet the sway of his tongue, feeling his fingers slide between the straps of your underwear, dragging it down in one quick movement. “Dabi...” You try to distract him from his starring as he lowers his head, immediately lapping up the slick that accumulated during his previous ministrations. You moan his name again, albeit louder than you previously thought you could.

He pokes his tongue against your entrance, slowly entering you with the mission to taste as much as his tongue would allow him. You’re moans increasing in volume once his tongue left your entrance and decided to tease your swollen bundle of nerves just above it.

What you weren’t prepared for was a singe digit making it’s way to your entrance, going in knuckle deep on the first go. “Fuck” You half moaned, half whined. You weren’t used to such an intrusion, his fingers being much larger and much longer than your own. You couldn’t deny the pleasure that started accumulating the more he moved his finger at an unforgiving pace and lapped up your clit as if it was the last time he could.

As time passed he added more fingers until he finally got to 3. By that time, the coil slowly building up was ready to burst and make for an unimaginable orgasm. You were moaning his name as if it was the only word you knew which, for the moment, wasn’t incorrect.

The moment he felt your walls constricting he quickly got up, leaving you empty and needy. He was even cruel enough to hold your legs apart so you wouldn’t even be able to rub your thighs together, he only watched as your walls tightened around nothing.

“Dabi, you jackass!” was your only reply, along with whines of protest as he got up and undressed himself completely - making a little show of his last piece of garment. Your whines and complaints instantly getting caught in your throat as you looked at the picture-perfect image in front of you. His scars perfectly contrasting his healthy skin. Your eyes wondering lower and lower until you got to the godly sight of his fully erect and weeping with precum cock. Drool practically pooling at the back of your throat as you looked at the image before you. His cock wasn’t really anything special when it came to length, but the part that got you wide eyed was the sheer girth of it and the Jacob’s ladder running from the base to the tip accompanied with a prince albert piercing at the very tip of his manhood.

“Aren’t you glad you waited Y/N? Would you have rather came around my fingers or around my cock?” He teased, fully aware of your sole concentration on his girth. “Say, I’m getting a little dizzy doll, how ‘bout you take the lead?” You  fervently nodded your head, eager to have him fully sheathed inside you, not carrying about the position as long as you could get off. “Good girl” was his only response as he took the handcuffs off you.

Without missing a beat you grabbed him by the shoulders, flipping your positions and setting his back against the headboard so you could comfortably straddle his lap. He tried to tease you about your neediness but ultimately failed as you ground your hips against him, making you both sigh in a short lived relief. It felt like an explosion behind your eyes, getting all the confidence you needed just from his faint growls.

His chest is pressed against yours, nipples rubbing on rough skin creating friction almost too much to bare. Fuck, you really needed more.Your heart pounds against your ribcage, creating an almost painful sensation as you start another lewd kiss, teeth clashing and tongues meeting in the middle.

His hand lands on your hip, the other teasing your folds apart as you get ready for the main event. The tip presses against your entrance, piercing creating an indescribable feeling as you slowly descent. You can feel yourself heavily breathing, pussy throbbing at the stretch of his girth.

Obviously he had a hard time keeping still as he almost breaks the skin of his lips. ‘No more waiting’ was your single though as you began a faster pace, bouncing on his cock, feeling stretched beyond belief. At the first sign of your pleasure, he began slamming upwards, matching the descent of your hips. You were sure the vice like grip he had on your hips would leave pretty noticeable marks but that was currently the last of your problems.

The feeling of his piercings rubbing against your velvety walls accompanied by the undeniable pleasure you felt as he hit the deepest spots inside of you was enough to make you moan akin to a pornstar. The look on your face, the sounds you made and the feeling of your iron tight grip had him slamming you faster, harder.

“FucK, Dabi! I-I want to come! So, sO badly” you’re moaning, mumbling words of praise to the man beneath you. He doesn’t react much except for quite, deep groans. But you didn’t mind at all, attaching your lips once more for a short kiss as you continued moaning his name like a broken record.

Your mouth doesn’t stop trembling as you scream out a final ‘Dabi’, collapsing into his chest as he continues chasing his own high. He pulls out, finishing in his hand and a little bit of it ending on your lower back, neither of you minding as he quickly cleans it and lays on his side with you comfortably in his arms, facing away from him.

“I love you Dabi, I truly do.” were your final words as you closed your eyes. What you didn’t expect was for him to continue.

“Touya...call me Touya”

You were confused for a second until you realized ‘Ah, that must be his real name.’ You wished to continue the conversation, but the exhaustion finally hit you all at once so you were only able to mumble a quite ‘Allright, I love you Touya...’

He wasn’t sure if you heard him when he said ‘I love you too Y/N’ but that didn’t matter now. He could say it all he wants from now on.

[sotorubio]

"like what was the eye closeup thing in the christmas dinner clip" - unpopular opinion n i understand if u won't post it. I think sascha's actor is so bad in acting. He only can smile and make puppy eyes. Like literally saschisi have a bingo of no good story, no good acting and no chemistry at all. It's disaster comparing to other druck pairings, 'cause all of them have at least good chemistry. So they use this close-ups and purple bubbles to "help" to create some kind of ~chemistry~.

unpopular opinions always accepted here 🤙

this is an interesting take n i don't completely disagree w u. generally i can't rly judge the skam actors' acting bc i'm not fluent in any of the remake languages (well except for austin i suppose) so i usually can't tell if line deliveries etc are good or not. however i have had issues w the chemistry too...

i think i talked abt this briefly before but like the whole sascha is ~ in love ~ w isi just.. didn't translate to me at all especially at the beginning of the season. it was clear from the writing bc that message was pushed from left n right constantly but i just like wasn't able to see it in the chemistry. remember that clip where they're playing music at sascha's place & isi starts talking abt lou & then leaves w umut n the camera focuses on sascha's face? so many ppl were just going ahhh he's so sad :( he's so gone for isi ☹️ n then i watched the clip myself n if i hadn't read those reactions beforehand i honestly would've just thought he looked bored... generally i think his acting is very one-note, i can't evaluate if it's good or bad since i don't know the language well but it's definitely just very similar from clip to clip regardless of context.

but then again idk if that's just specifically sascha's actor or if the problem is in the directing bc he's not the only character who has those moments. like i see eren as a pretty solid actor but even they had moments where the emotions were just.. not rly there. like the clip druckaddicts themselves posted abt? "wow kieu my thinks sascha likes isi n this was isi's reaction 😱" the reaction in question: 👤

so yeah i definitely agree that the chemistry is lacking, i'm just not sure if it's bc of the acting or the writing or directing or what.

the point abt close ups & lighting as a way to make up for it actually does make a lot of sense tho. i doubt that the team is looking at the scenes like wow our young actors suck ass we NEED to do smth abt this let's add close ups But now that u mentioned that i do think the intention is to make those scenes more intimate/intense/spectacular. like isi themselves told lou it was "magic" with sascha. so they're trying to overcompensate w weird lights & close ups to rly drill that in us like yeah these ppl are soooo soul mates trust me they're definitely so in love look how magical !! (pro tip: give the couple some development n show the magic in the writing itself next time ✨)

n i think that's just a preference thing but ive always been against this sort of cinematography heavy aestheticization of skam seasons (skamfr says hi), there's a certain style of cinematography that fits the realism & every-day-life feeling that they aim for but stuff like this just makes me feel like i'm watching some hallmark christmas movie smdjlsjd also... i say it's just a preference but apparently like half of the fandom wasn't sure if the kiss was real or just isi's imagination bc of the way it was shot so.. maybe it's actually just objectively bad 😭

so yes you're right the close ups r probably supposed to boost the chemistry but they're just... failing miserably. like the weird staring n shots of their eyes was so awkward like i could barely watch it but then immediately after there was a good moment when they were simply walking down the hall to the table slightly bumping into each other like that mightve been the most clear chemistry they've had all season 😩

[angeltrapz]

ALSO your takes on this lil Strahm/Adam thing we’ve been discussing?? hi???? tht dynamic makes me insane i love it sm + am very excited 2 hear more of ur thoughts 💗

I'm answering this one first bc!!!!!! It makes me insane too like I cannot stop thinking abt it. I am Trying 2 put together a fic abt it!!!

Okay so. I think that Adam and Strahm are similar in several ways, and yet not at the same time. Adam is accused of being apathetic by Jigsaw, right? But we're obviously shown that it's not exactly the case; if anything, Adam's supposed apathy is a shield to protect who he really is: someone who cares deeply, maybe more than he should; someone intensely thoughtful, someone willing to keep things from people if he knows it'll hurt them while also functioning as self-preservation (not showing the polaroid to Lawrence, hiding the fact that the trash bag contained both the hacksaws AND the pictures he took), someone who altogether simply cannot truly be defined as apathetic at his core. His projected persona, however, is a completely different story - Adam is angry, bitter, jaded. And yes, he is angry, bitter in regards to his circumstances, jaded in a way that comes from a life spent living paycheck to paycheck if he could even manage that regularly. We've seen his apartment. This dude struggles. Apathetic, no, but angry? Oh, absolutely.

Strahm is... slightly more complicated. HIS projected persona is one of cool indifference, no nonsense, someone purely analytical and maybe a bit of an asshole about it. The thing is, though, is that deep down, Strahm also cares deeply - just look at how he reacted to Perez being injured + having to call her mom, when he destroyed that office room - it's just harder to get out of him. His projected persona hides someone whose emotions run just as hotly and strongly; his are just more well-hidden. He is impulsive, intelligent, result-seeking. Strahm doesn't seem like someone who allows himself to just feel things very often, and when he does, the blowout can be a fucking mess (for example, showing up to the packing plant BY HIMSELF, operating on adrenaline and rage alone).

I think, other than Perez perhaps, Adam just may be the first person to understand Strahm in a way that no one else has even attempted. Adam might be the first person who manages to see past that indifference, who embraces the writhing emotions underneath it because he gets it. And Adam is absolutely one of the very first people to look at Hoffman the way he and Perez did - after all, Adam is present in Strahm's hospital room when Hoffman pays him a visit and tells him to back the fuck off, and after the man leaves, the first thing he says to Strahm is "It's him, isn't it?"

Because he sees it too. He'd been in Hoffman's presence for all of around five minutes and he'd seen it too.

And just how world-shattering can that simple revelation be? For the first time, Strahm has someone other than Perez on his side. She's gone, there's nothing he can do to bring her back, but here is someone else who sees what he sees, feels what he feels, in a strange echo of the test that brought Strahm and Perez into this whole fucking mess. Here is someone who has no reason to agree with him, no prior pressure put upon him and someone who Strahm feels wouldn't simply agree with him on that basis anyway (as you've touched on before), and yet Adam sees it too.

I feel like, in the tensely energized space the two of them share in that room after Hoffman leaves, that is one of the very first times Strahm feels seen. He doesn't feel the need to keep his shields up, and it's liberating, in a way. He feels like he can breathe around Adam. For reasons even he isn't entirely sure of, Strahm feels safe here. He can be himself, even if that self is angry, bitter, jaded. Who better to understand that than Adam Faulkner-Stanheight?

It's a feeling that only increases after they're discharged from the hospital. There's no real reason for the two of them to stay together, no obligations (except the fact that Strahm saved Adam's life, but Strahm doesn't hold that over him & Adam doesn't stick around purely because of it), and yet they do. It's two weeks after they're sent home that Adam shows up at Strahm's apartment, shaking softly and looking so fucking miserable that Strahm couldn't even dream of turning him away - after all, he gave him the address. An unspoken agreement, an offering of companionship.

Adam has been thinking. He and Strahm, they're tied together in more than one way, aren't they? Not just their shields and safeguards, not just the similarities in their true, deep-down emotions, not even having been targeted by Jigsaw and surviving things they shouldn't have - they've both lost people. Strahm is never getting Perez back, and Adam? Adam bonded with a man in that bathroom who shot him and told him he'd come back, but never did. He never looked back. His other potential saviour, Amanda Young? Her idea of rescue was a plastic bag over his head, but even she couldn't commit to the idea. She left him there, too. He's not getting Lawrence back, he knows that. Jigsaw took something, someone, from both of them. So, he proposes, what if we did something about it?

(Strahm still thinks about when they first met, when Adam told him he loved him. He can't help it, of course he thinks about it; knowing Adam was delirious with blood loss and a dizzying combo of dehydration and starvation and infection didn't cut into the feeling the earnest declaration gave him, even if it should've. Adam stuck around when he didn't have to. He wants him here.)

They've lost everything. Adam, his peace of mind, the uncertain semi-stability of his life, functionality in his arm, one of the first people he'd made a genuine connection with. Strahm, his best friend, his colleagues' trust, the safety that came with observing the case from a distance. They have nothing and yet they have each other. They both want Jigsaw to pay for what he's done to them and the people they care about, and the innocent people they never even knew. Why shouldn't they?

Like you said, I don't think they get in the coffin. I agree with you and I think that Adam is the catalyst there, the one voice of reason that drags Strahm away from certain death before he even has the chance to get ensnared permanently in Hoffman's web. They don't even listen to the tape. They just hightail it. And it's outside of that building, chests heaving and hands shaking, that it all kind of sets in for Strahm: he could've died. Hoffman could have killed him like he wanted and he would've walked right into it had he been alone. Adam, completely unconscious of the gravity of Strahm's revelation, had turned around and saved his life, repaid a favour he didn't really owe but wanted to fulfill.

And again, like you said, it's not really a favour, is it? Not when instead of laughing in an expelling of nervous energy Adam leans up and drags Strahm down by the lapels of his jacket and kisses him hard, grip white-knuckled and short breaths huffed through his nose. No, there is the same kind of reverence to be found in the way that Adam cradles his face in his trembling hands and breathes out "You're alive," as the kind that could be heard in that first I love you. There's nothing else that Adam has to say for Strahm to understand. He just pulls him close because he needs this, too. He has spent so long living his life as someone who doesn't need tenderness, doesn't need people to care about him, feels safer in isolation than anything else, and now he doesn't feel the need anymore. He is changed, in this way, but Adam accepts it readily, and though Strahm can't say it back when Adam finally slumps against him and breathes out "I love you" against his shoulder, no fever or delirium to compromise the meaning, he feels it all the same.

They understand each other, hold each other. They have work to do, and lots of it - Hoffman's going to be rampaging in a blaze of enraged glory soon enough, knowing that Strahm (and, by extension, Adam) got away, and they're going to need a plan - but right now, they can breathe. Right now, all either of them needs is knowing the other is alive, that they'd made it through something that for all intents and purposes was meant to kill them. Strahm can't just walk away. Adam knows this; he doesn't think he can, either. Two people who are more similar than they could've ever dreamed, brought together in one of the worst ways imaginable and yet in a way that has served as a lifesaver - not Jigsaw, fuck that. They want to live. For themselves, for each other, for everyone who didn't make it out. For the people they can't get back.

It's a kind of understanding that's entirely foreign to both of them, but as they hole up in Strahm's apartment after, huddled close on the couch because neither of them can sleep and they're trembling for reasons other than just the caffeine buzz of coffee, it's one that they can learn to adapt to. They can do this. They're going to save lives. They're going to do this hand-in-hand. They have each other's backs, without the shadow of a doubt.

And, really, is that not love?

[meet-me-in-the-kitchen]

can u do a asthmatic!reader x harry where she has asthma and something triggers it and harry is freaking out bc he’s never see her that vulnerable and been in that situation??

Y/N gets an asthma attack in the middle of an argument with Harry.

“I can’t believe you,” he shook his head, laughing harshly. “I can’t fucking believe you right now.”

“Not everything is about you, Harry,” Y/N muttered, feeling dread crawl up inside of her chest and sit darkly.

“I ask you to do this one thing for me and suddenly I’m a self absorbed prick—“

“That’s not what I said,” she hissed.

“It’s what you fucking meant,” he replied snarkily, eyes narrowing and training a gaze on her which burned underneath her skin uncomfortably. “I honestly don’t know how to deal with you anymore. I give and you take.”

“All you are is a fucking gold digger.”

The sentence is like a dart, hitting her right where it hurts. He’d known about how much absurd comments and the very idea of people thinking y/n was using Harry for his money and fame sickened her. It discredited her love, her feelings, her existence was made minuscule, an insignificant speck, just by those degrading comments. Now, instead of offering comfort, he was using those same comments against her.

y/n sharply took in a breath, deciding to remain silent.

“I should have listened when they all said you were using me for my money.”

“You’ve done shit for me.”

“You don’t even care about me. You couldn’t give less of a shit. You’re the worst person to be in love with.”

The last one knocks the breath out of her chest, as her feet quickly and quietly travel to our distance between him and her. Her chest feels right and hot, the intensely uncomfortable feeling only becoming greater and more miserable as her lungs were on fire as they felt smaller, like a full breath was only maybe a third the size as normal. She tries to control it, trying to steady her mind and blink back the tears burning in her eyes and the hurt ripping through her. However, asthma attacks were scarcely controllable.

As Harry continued to yell obscenities at her without looking her in the eye, y/n struggled to breath, crouching into herself before finally finding refuge on the kitchen floor; she couldn’t catch her breath at all. And the pins and needles assaulting her back, neck, and sore shoulders and the painful feeling in her lungs made it feel like even if she kept breathing, she’d eventually pass out anyway; like every breath she was painstakingly exhaling was more than she was taking back in.

A particularly loud wheeze causes him to silence, before letting out a surprised noise and falling to his knees before where y/n’s vision grew blurry and chest started to close in on herself, her eyes were wide and desperate as Harry’s own green ones, filled with intense concern and guilt, peered back.

“Fuck, fuck, Y/N. where’s your inhaler?” He panicked, holding her hand tightly in his own second and sprinting to their bedroom the next only to rerun back to his girl, where she was struggling to breathe. Y/N could only wheeze and gasp, unable to breath properly, let alone speak.

Harry quickly placed his arms under her thighs and around her waist, lifting her up bridal style and carrying her into the bedroom and setting her on the bed. Y/N could briefly make out droplets if moisture falling from his eyes onto her shaking lips.

“Fuck!” He yelled, slamming doors and drawers closed and pulling others open. “Where’s the inhaler.. oh God, oh fuc-“

His panic dissolves into relief as he finally finds the inhaler in the medicine cabinet—mentally smacks himself upside the head for missing that one— and throws the cap onto the bed and lifts the mouth of the inhaler to his girlfriend’s lips, guiding her to take the medicine.

As Y/N finally huffs in the smoke-like substance and collapses into Harry’s arms, he gathers her up against his chest, sobbing slightly and holding her tight.

“You’re okay. I’m so sorry. I’m a dick, baby,” he whispers in deep remorse, stroking her cheek as she tiredly drifts off.

MASTERLIST

sorry this was rushed i just wanted to write this but also have two major finals i haven’t studied for in a day so :://

[rising-generations]

i know no one asked for them but hey, take some pretty detailed headcanons on my daiya/hiro kiddos (the first two at least) do note that daiya is trans here uvu

- so daiya and hiro got together after daiya and chisa / hiro and chihiro got together, but they were pining for a while. like. a long while. until their respective partners were like "we don't mind sharing go for it bro" - daiya knows hiro adores kids so he's the one who brings up them having some. hiro knows that it was hard for daiya to get pregnant, though, so he says he's not bothered if they end up not being able to have a bio kid, that's fine. in fact he suggests adoption at first, which neither of them are against, however... - the way it ends up, daiya gets pregnant the first time they try somehow and hiro is. incredibly shocked to say the very least. as is daiya but he doesn't show it as much

- as for who they tell first, daiya tells chisa first and hiro tells chihiro, since they are their partners and kinda need to know, and they're both very happy for them. it's real sweet! there's no jealousy or anything cause like, yknow, they're pretty much their kid too

- the first month is pretty uneventful other than daiya finding out relatively early because they were expecting the results. hiro is just. so happy. much crying from hiro. also lots of cuddles and kisses. - second month sees a slightly more like. broody daiya is the best way to describe him. it's not that he's mad at the people around him he's just. broody. he's also mother henning the other kids like crazy. - additionally he's a little snippier than usual and his temper a bit shorter but it's not. horrible. hiro does cry once and it makes daiya feel really bad so he tries not to do it again - third month, there's a lot of hormonal stuff going on and it's a little harder for daiya to adjust than for his other pregnancies for some reason? they figure out why not too far in: surprise, it's twins! daiya is. understandably shocked because what he just had twins with chisa. but not mad bc that makes everything else make sense. - he's also wanting to "eat and hide" a lot for some reason? normally he stays in the living room for dinner with hiro and the others + kids but now he's like "i must take my food and Run". nobody tries to stop him bc hey he has his reasons - month four and he's gaining more weight so now there's a visible baby bump and he gets a little self conscious. but never to fear, hiro is there with kisses! he does try to make sure that daiya's eating a sensible diet bc left unchecked he'd just survive off of like candy and soda and as enticing as that sounds it's not good for a pregnant person - also catch hiro talking to daiya's stomach bc that is a thing hiro would do you can't convince me otherwise don't even try to - also highkey daiya gets more cuddly around this time. he just wants cuddles and snuggles. and is also very clingy. unfortunately for mondo he is often the target of this clingy worry and gets fussed over a lot ("daiya i have two kids of my own would you please leave me alone") - month five and his emotions just. spike. daiya is either very happy or very sad and there's no in-between. like. he'll be having a normal conversation and then drop a spoon or something and now he's bawling. hiro and/or chisa can usually calm him down but sometimes you'll just catch daiya crying for thirty minutes over one of those SPCA commercials - month six and now on top of being emotional he's also really, really moody and broody and nesting horribly. all the pillows and blankets are belong to daiya. hiro buys him one of those pregnancy pillow things and daiya does not let go of it, don't even try to take it from him you will not succeed and also you might lose an arm or two - however despite being moody and whatnot he still wants to cuddle with hiro and receive back rubs because having a previous spinal injury + carrying two children is not an easy thing to do. but thankfully both hiro and chisa are very willing to take care of him - month seven is when daiya starts getting tired of being pregnant, especially with twins because they're very active (apparently they did Not inherit hiro's chill) and no part of him is safe. he's sleeping a lot more to make up for the times at night when he can't because the kids decide it's party time. daiya still fusses over the other kids but it's mainly hiro/chisa + chihiro taking care of them now because he's mainly resting. - by the eighth month he's so done. he loves his kids. he loves his partners. but he does not love this experience and wants it to be over. it's pretty obvious that he's not gonna be happy until the babies are out and in his arms. hiro does his best to keep him calm because he's emotional once more and liable to cry at everything and anything. pretty much everyone's ready for the babies to just be born already.

as for the actual birth, daiya is a whole week past his due date and no one is happy. he's just. mad. and crying. and ready to do just about anything to get these kids out of him because he's miserable and ready to be done. they're a day away from taking him in to be induced when his water breaks in the middle of the night and he's like "okay fucking finally" because as badly as he wanted to get these kids out of him he also was adamant about not having them at a hospital (his and chisa's were born at home with a midwife so that's how he prefers to go).

he is in. so much pain. and it's hard for hiro to be there because with his and chihiro's kids, chihiro had a c-section so it was? not very intense? plus she was high as a mf kite bc of the drugs so there's that, but there's none of that with daiya. he has awful back labor and his contractions are really strong right from the start. but we'll give hiro credit because he does stay the whole time and hold his hand and basically does whatever daiya asks him to, which is mostly just to stay right with him.

it's way more intense than they were expecting because daiya goes from three centimeters dilation to like. eight centimeters in an hour and a half and everyone's just like "how did this happen so fast what the fuck" but unfortunately that just means more pain for daiya (the cervix dilating is literally your actual bones pulling apart so like. dilating that fast is p a i n f u l)

thankfully he only has to push for like thirty minutes before the first one is born and then the second one comes like ten minutes later so. all's well that ends well! they have a girl and a boy, tomoka and mitsuharu oowada. and they're both completely healthy so no complications on that side at least

some assorted things for after: - tomoka is the clingy baby and mitsuharu is more independent, personality-wise, but tomoka gets more independent as she gets older - despite them being hellions as fetuses, as babies they're actually hella chill. so apparently they did actually get hiro's chill - hiro has freckles and he passes them onto his kids - they were both weaned at the same time, around six months, because daiya unfortunately discovered they had teeth when nursing them one morning. you can imagine how that went. mondo thought this was hilarious until several years later he went through the same thing with ayako and daisuke - tomoka did not. absolutely did not. want to wean. not at all. not in the slightest. she was pissed and even after weaning she'd still cry if she wasn't on or near the titty - mitsuharu on the other hand was like "hell yeah i want food give it to me" - hiro adores his babies oh my god. he'd spend every minute with them if he was able and also didn't have to do things

[trickstarbrave]

im disabled and it sucks bc i went to college (thankfully being able to pay for most of it via gov funding bc i am INCREDIBLY lucky under very specific circumstances) and im not gonna be able to like. do shit. lol 

all a bachelors degree got me is people telling me its useless and i need a masters degree and how the fuck am i going to justify another realistically 3 years in school that i am now OUT of money to pay for for.......... very slightly higher chances at a job i will not be able to get still bc i have 0 experience. and dont “you should have done internships in college” me bc i was told not to worry about it when i was an underclassman, before applying as an upperclassman and being told theyre “choosing people with more experience” (CHOOSING PEOPLE WITH MORE EXPERIENCE. TO PAY TO WORK FOR THEM. THEY ARENT GETTING PAID THEIR TUITION GOES TO THESE PEOPLE TO GIVE THEM EXPERIENCE?????) 

and even then im still the bottom of the barrel. im still disabled. even if i was able to get an internship theyd probably be mad at me that i ‘hid’ the fact im disabled from them and they’d find a way to say im ‘not actually qualified for the program’ when i am trying my damn hardest bc why bother creating job and internship opportunities for disabled ppl that arent MEGA exploitative when instead you can put lifting requirements on your positions and kick ppl out based on it.

life is meaningless i guess bc i am unable to do intense labor apparently required to survive in this hellscape. im going to get a miserable low paying job bc im disabled or work from home and make barely nothing like my mom now and be a financial drain on my partner and i cant even work to support the things i like in life and hobbies and ugh. i just am in a rut and i feel like nothing i can even do to make my life better will work or matter and i know im not the only person to think this, lots of ppl outside of being disabled in my generation think this, and i just wanna smash society like a little glass ball and rebuild it but even that is going to probably kill me

[sicklylittlesnowflake]

So I am in /desperate/ need of an injured Grantaire because of a bar fight (maybe ‘protecting Enjolras’ honour’ type thing in which he tells some idiot to stop badmouthing his sun) and Enjolras not knowing until he walks in to find Grantaire bleeding all over the place with broken or bruised ribs like ‘it’s nothing’

(Combined bc these prompts are similar!! Ok real talk I love this prompt a lot tho?? I had a lot of fun with this!)

It’s quarter after one and the all the buzz of earlier that evening has died down considerably. The Cafe Musain is relatively calm, quiet with the exception of the slight and quiet chatter of those who remained. It’s nice, and Grantaire is calm.

He takes this time for himself as he walks aimlessly around the area, appreciating life for a moment. Grantaire watches the other happy people, their laughter leaving a warm fuzzy feeling in his stomach. There is something so cozy about being inside a warm cafe during a cold winters night and the slight warmth from the one beer he had that night. He thinks about the glee of those surrounding him, and when he heads his way down the stairs ready to walk home, listen to the music along the cobbled pavement, he sees his main source of glee, glowing with all that he is.

Butterflies flutter in his stomach and he feels like he is flowing when he sees bouncy golden curls hunched over a seat. Grantaire can’t help the idiotic, smitten smile that laces his lips as he inches closer to who he wished was his.

Grantaire swings onto the chair next to him with a charming, a little sloppy, grin on his face, prepared to say something sly or playful, when his smile is suddenly wiped off his face when he realises his beloved is not glowing as bright as he usually is.

There’s a few tears falling down his flushed face, a massive contrast against his complexion. Strewn about him is a collection of cans of alcohol. He normally smells of coffee and chocolate cake but now he reeks of what seems like a concoction of Kronenbourg and Guinness.

“Enjolras?” Grantaire immediately says, concerned and alarmed.

Enjolras jumps, only now broken out of his own world. He becomes aware of the world around him and he wipes away his tears quickly, turning to face him with a shaky smile.

“Hey ‘Taire,” He singsongs, but his timbre is wobbly and there’s something behind his eyes that aren’t quite as bright as he intends.

“E..what’s going on sunshine?” Grantaire asks softly, his gaze drifting towards Enjolras’ shaking hands.

Enjolras shakes his head, clearing his throat, but it doesn’t stop his voice from cracking, “Nothing. Nothing. I’m fine.”

“Then why are you drinking so heavily? C'mon E, this isn’t you. We’ve talked about this before; you don’t need to repress your emotions from me, or from anyone. It’s no use bottling it all up. Please talk to me,” Grantaire encourages, there’s a steadiness and firmness to his voice but gentle enough. He knows Enjolras so well. Grantaire eyes his shaking hands again and he gestures towards them.

“Yeah, yeah, you can hold them, a-actually please do,” Enjolras whispers as to keep himself from bursting into tears again. Grantaire reaches in and laces his fingers with Enjolras’s, holding firmly but gently, strong but loving. He tries to ignore the lovesick voice at the back of his head, screeching for more.

Enjolras lets out a shaky breath and nods, gently fiddling with Grantaire’s fingers in a blissfully absentminded way. He subconsciously clings onto Grantaire for support, and the way Enjolras’ fingers brush against his make the butterflies in his stomach wildly dance and his chest soar.

“I just..I’ve had an off day. I just woke up this morning..feeling really blue, you know? I mean, I have them often and it doesn’t really faze me as much now, you know, I was getting through the day. But since I feel so empty I was empty at the meeting earlier and I was lifeless and dull, and pathetic, nothing like a leader should be and I fucked up earlier. Loads of people weren’t listening and I don’t blame them because why would they, and I just feel like I’ve failed miserably and now I’ve tuned the other Amis off the cause because I can’t fucking feel happy and–”

Enjolras can’ tbite back the sob, he slaps a hand over his mouth to stop himself. Grantaire gives his hand a gentle squeeze.

“And to make everything worse I saw two guys from my high school–they’re the sons of my dad’s business partners and they tormented me so many years and they still are–they’re passing through town and they saw me and I could hear them talking about all these horrible and disgusting creepy stuff about me and all these homophobic bullshit and how much of a failure and disgrace I am to my family and now I keep thinking of my father and maybe he was right all along, maybe they are right, maybe they’re–”

Hearing all of the people who have hurt his sunshine made Grantaire’s blood boil. He could feel a fiery passion building up within him, an anger that was begging to be released. Grantaire cups Enjolras’s face and brought it over so they were looking at each other, looking at him intensely.

“They are so wrong about you. You are strong, and brave, beautiful, intelligent..You incredibly bright and talented and the world has to brace itself because you’re here to take it by storm. You are not a disgrace, E. We all love you, we all look up to you. I know you don’t see it but you’re a great leader, because you have bad days, because you have bad days but you persevere and you live for another day. Don’t let anybody take that away from you. And if these guys give you any trouble again, let them know there’s a very angry Grantaire ready to show some fists,” Grantaire promises as he carefully wiped tears away from his face.

Enjolras manages, a chuckle, and he could begin to see a little bit of that bright, spectacular smile again.

Grantaire couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face, “There it is.”

Enjolras leans in to give Grantaire a hug, nuzzling his nose into Grantaire’s hair, whispering a breathy and loving, “Thank you.”

It sent shivers up his spine and he felt like a chilly but somehow cozy winter’s breeze brush against him.

“Lets go home, okay? I’m driving you–you are far too drunk to be walking. You need your rest, Apollo, we’ve got a big day tomorrow,” Grantaire remarks, at hoisting Enjolras onto his feet and slinging his arm over his shoulder, holding him close and he feared the moment he’d have to let go.

Despite all the love and warmth he could feel soaring all throughout him, Grantaire couldn’t quite shake the anger still boiling in his heart and the burning passion for justice for the wrongs done to his sunshine. He could not rest.

“Hey Bossuet! You seen Enjolras?” Grantaire calls out to his friend as he jogs up to him, slightly flustered and out of breath.

“Yeah! He’s just over there, getting ready for the speech–he’ll be on in about 5 minutes so you better get to him now!” Bossuet says quickly as he walks off to get his seat in the audience and watch.

Grantaire nods and heads over to Enjolras who is waiting for his queue to go on. His face is blank, breathing deeply to try and get himself into the right headspace. He’s gathering energy, building up the fire. Creating just the right spark.

And Grantaire knows he hasn’t quite got it.

Enjolras lets out a frustrated sigh and stings his hands anxiously, until he realises Grantaire’s presence.

“Oh! Hey ‘Taire,” Enjolras greets.

“Hey you, how you feeling?” He asks sweetly.

“Not great. I don’t have it, I can’t get the fire started. Yesterday just..kinda extinguished it. I’m not sure if I can get it back,” Enjolras admits quietly.

Grantaire gives him a reassuring smile and holds him by the soldiers firmly, “You’ve got it. It’s right inside you. But you gotta let go of these thoughts and voices and people who are withholding you and your entirety. Once you do that, I know you’ll get it.”

Enjolras smiled softly and kisses Grantaire on the cheek quickly, so sweet that Grantaire could have melted into a puddle. He felt a little bit shaken after that, swept off his feet, light as a feather.

“Think of someone who makes you feel safe.”

With that, Grantaire leaves with a thumbs up and heads towards the audience to watch his beloved. And unbeknownst to him, Enjolras had thought of him the whole time.

When Enjolras steps onto the stage, he’s still a little out of it. And before he can even speak a voice echoes, loud and harsh and cold. It freezes him.

“It’s the fucking disgrace!” A man yells.

Then comes the homophobic comments, the disgusting remarks. The words are like nails against a chalkboard for Grantaire, and it makes his blood boil and he can feel the fire rising in his body and he feels the anger sizzling within him.

Grantaire finds his attention averting towards the noise and ruckus and he finds his target, eyes of venom as he sees the two men guilty of this crime. He has company, Combeferre is glaring and Jehan is too while holding Courfeyrac back.

Enjolras is frozen, and the crowd watches on, a mixture of confusion and pity and discomfort. He sees his sunshine scan the crowd anxiously, he can see the breathing pick up but suddenly like this magnetic inclination, this electric attraction, this connection, they meet eyes.

Enjolras’s gaze locks onto his and suddenly he thaws. He steadies himself with him as his anchor and Grantaire is all he sees. The rest of the world does not exist. The fire is lit.

And Enjolras burns with fire as he speaks, and the crowd roars with him.

The energy is soaring high when the speech finishes. There’s this pulsating adrenaline in the air afterwards, this beautiful high and everyone’s light and breezy, celebrating this victory. This enlightenment.

But Grantaire seethes in his anger, there seems to be a thunder cloud looming above him and the lightning is striking.

Grantaire wishes he could be calm because he wants so badly to find Enjolras and hug him and tell him he told him so, celebrate with his friends, but he can’t quite shake that bitter feeling of injustice stinging at his heart.

He takes a swig of the Kronenbourg he has in his hand and relishes the metallic warmth as it slides down his throat, the heat in his stomach only seeming to progress the fury building within him. Grantaire sits there with himself and his anger, in a world of his own with his fiery thoughts rampaging a storm until he is pulled back to reality with a grating voice that cements him back to this reality.

“What a fucking queer..You know, he’s actually smart, he could have been working for his father at this stage.”

“God yeah, he had it all. He had girls lining up to even talk to him. To be fair he is good looking–he just had to go that way, it’s so disgusting. And he had to pursue that stupid English degree–which is so fucking stupid.”

Grantaire tenses more and more as more and more slurs piled up, until he just couldn’t anymore.

He had reached a breaking point, something inside of him snaps and he loses control.

Grantaire liftshimself off the bar and plonks his beer onto the table, shoving himself off his seat. He pushes through the crowds of people, and as he gets closer and closer he can hear better and the insults get louder and Grantaire gets angrier, picking up pace and his fury  builds up onto this climatic crescendo.

He pushes past until he makes it to the table where the two perpetrators sit. Fiery rage ablaze, panting. The two look over at him and raise an eyebrow.

“Who are you?”

And Grantaire’s fists meet their faces.

Grantaire lunges and pounds with fire, he feels this fire come ablaze and spread, he punches with force and he feels the adrenaline pump. It feels great.

Until he is kicked off, and he feels a sharp, stinging pain rise up hid body and he yells out in pain. Firsts come into contact with his face, and he feels the rough and hard bones like concrete against his face. He cries out as a a sharp and tremendous blow explodes by his rib cage, the pain and hurt radiating like tremors throughout his body. Grantaire hisses in pain and spits the metallic taste of blood onto the floor of the bar.

Grantaire groans, unable to pick himself up from the floor, but he manages to look up to see one of the guys standing, looming over him, preparing for the last blow. But before he does he kicks him off balance and lunges, pouncing on him and punching him repeatedly. The two scramble out, limping, leaving Grantaire leeched of all energy and dropping onto the floor.

He can hardly hear the commotion before him because all he can think of is the impending and worsening pain by the second. But through all the madness and noise he can hear a familiar voice calling for him and it sounds like a sweet familiar melody calling him home.

“Grantaire?! Grantaire–’-TAIRE! Oh my god!” Enjolras screams, pushing violently past the ring of people that have crowded around him and he slides onto the floor by his side.

He holds Grantaire up with so much warmth, his touch so loving and secure, like he’s determined to never let him go.

“Oh god, R, I was so scared–I couldn’t find you and–fuck! What’s happened to you?! Where does it hurt?!”

Grantaire gruntsvin pain, reaching out for Enjolras’s hand to cement him back to earth, as a lifeline, squeezing it tight, “My ribs.”

“Oh fuck, why’d you do this?!” Enjolras cries out frantically, placing an arm around him to try and support him.

“For you,” Grantaire chokes out, a few spatters of blood flying from his mouth.

Enjolras freezes, bewildered, confused. “Me..? Why would you..?”

“Because I love you–aaAHH!!” Grantaire yells as his ribs scream out to him, a intemperate scorching pain pulsating throughout his ribs. He cries out in pain, hissing as the pain ravages him.

For a second Enjolras is frozen, but soon after his instincts kick back in and he hoists Grantaire to his feet, away from here, to a place where he can be fixed up again.

“Stay with me sweetheart, you’re going to be fine,” Enjolras repeats over and over as he drives frantically to the hospital, Grantaire groaning out in pain in the backseat, squirming, hissing. He’s not really sure if he’s saying it for Grantaire or for himself.

Grantaire cries out as a new tidal wave of pain comes in with a vengeance and washes all over him. Enjolras bites back his tears, loathing the amount of pain his beloved was in, and how it was because of him.

“You shouldn’t have done this for me,” Enjolras whispers, and it doesn’t quite reach Grantaire and in a way he’s glad it didn’t.

But he can’t quite ignore that persisting feeling within him, the three worded sentence echoing in him repeatedly like a mantra. He doesn’t quite feel like he’s here, like he’s gone on autopilot, because his world has just been shaken and it cannot go back to how it used to be ever again.

Enjolras is not sure how long he’s waited but each moment lasts forever and it feels like he’s known nothing but this torturous limbo.

The ticking clock seems to be taunting him, playing with his heart. He breathes in ragged breaths and wrings his hands anxiously, tapping his foot to a syncopated rapid rhythm. He cannot rest until he knows Grantaire is okay.

He springs up to his feet when the doctor comes out of the room.

“Is he okay?!” Enjolras yelps.

The doctor is taken aback a little, “He will be just fine, sir. He has pretty severely bruised ribs, and quite a few more bruises. He’ll be in a lot of pain for the next few weeks but we’ve loaded him up on some painkillers. You may see him if you wish.”

Enjolras nods quickly and pushes past the doctor to meet Grantaire, sitting up on the bed with an ice pack pressed against his cheek.

The sight of him–his blackened eye, bruises face, scratches and swollen all over, in pain, brought him to tears.

Enjolras bit back the sob that threatened to leave him, and he aggressively swiped the incoming tears from his eyes.

“What the fuck?! Why did you do that?!” He cried out, angry, shaky, trying not to succumb to his tears.

“What? Because–E, they were disrespecting you!”

“And so?! You didn’t have to! Leave them be–they will always disrespect me, it didn’t do anything, did it? Now you’re hurt without reason! Don’t fucking do that!”

“Without reason?! You are reason enough, E! Do you not appreciate what I’ve done?!”

“No! No I don’t! I do not appreciate you bloodied and screaming in pain my arms, I do not appreciate the anxiety and fear taking over me in fear id lose you! I do not appreciate my heart pounding out of my chest in a rush to make you okay again!”

Grantaire softened, “E..”

Enjolras couldn’t help the tears flowing freely now, “You don’t understand. You don’t understand, seeing you hurt hurts me.”

Grantaire sighs heavily, “Of course I understand. You don’t understand why I did it. You should’ve seen your eyes. You are sunshine, Enjolras. You’re radiant. You glow. Yesterday you were full, dark, like all the life and light had been sucked out of you. You were empty and it hurt me too. I couldn’t let it happen ever again, because I..i..”

A silence fell upon them.

And suddenly Enjolras leans in and his lips collides against his, sparks flying between them in this wonderfully electric connection. He can feel a fire, a blazing fire full of life. Grantaire is glowing.

Enjolras pulls away, “I-I’m sorry, I..”

Before he could speak any further Grantaire pullsback in, grabbing by his shirt and kissing him like it would be his last, letting the warmth rush through him once again. He shivers as Enjolras puts his hands through his hair, and it’s like the air has locked into place for the first time really.

“I-I’m sorry to interrupt..” A nurse calls out with embarrassment.

The two quickly pull away in shock, looking at each other with bewilderment until they end up in giggles.

Enjolras straightens up, unable to wipe the stupid grin off his face, “Sorry. I’ll..be on my way.”

He gets up to leave, but not without giving Grantaire one of those beautiful smiles that melt him all over.

“How’re you feeling, sir?”

“I don’t know m'am, like I’m a lot lighter.”

“It must be the concussion–”

“No m'am, I think it might be my heart.”

[sweetwhump]

holy shit i actually finished a thing for once. a post-op follow-up to this anaesthesia drabble from new year’s eve. under the cut bc it’s p longish, about 1.5k.

basically, some schmoop of victor waking up after his surgery with yuuri at his side.

Time passes strangely after the anaesthetic kicks in. When Victor’s eyes flutter open for the first time after his surgery, he isn’t sure if it’s been mere seconds or entire years since his desperate, ill-fated battle with unconsciousness. Then again, when Victor’s eyes flutter open for the first time, he’s not sure of much at all.

He’s only conscious - if you can even call it that - for a few seconds. His eyes drift slowly open and all he has time to register is a beige curtain, half-open, and beyond that, a large room with several other beds. There is a steady beeping coming from somewhere nearby. It’s too loud and the light in this place is too bright. Everything is so hazy and heavy that he can’t even turn his head to look for - look for who? Someone important… he thinks? He’s so tired…and everything is so much… he’ll rest his eyes a bit, maybe that will help…

He wakes again an indeterminate amount of time later in a smaller, more warmly lit room. The first thing that registers, aside from that same irritating beep, is a strange, intense discomfort. Not pain, the sensation is far too dull to be actual pain. But something is definitely… wrong. Very wrong, and everything is too foggy to make sense of what exactly the wrong thing is. He feels something hot run down the side of his face and a low whimper escapes from his lips, unbidden. It’s a soft, pitiful sound, cut short as it morphs into a gentle sob.

“Shh, shh, shh…” he hears, and then something is running through his hair.

The something is so soft and warm and comforting, so welcome in the midst of this awful, smothering confusion that all he can do in response is cry some more. The sound of his quiet, miserable weeping fills the room, drowning out the rhythmic beeps in his ears.

There is more quiet shushing from nearby, and then a warm, gentle pressure on his right hand. Someone is holding his hand, he realizes, and stroking his hair. The sensation is overwhelmingly grounding in this strange, floating confusion and he tries to grip the hand tight, but his limbs are weak and slow to respond. A whimper of frustration escapes him.

“Oh, Vitya,” a nearby voice sighs sympathetically.

Victor’s heart swells at the sound. Even in this sluggish, disoriented state, he knows that voice. Yuuri. Yuuri is here. The thought fills him with such stark relief that he nearly bursts into tears again, but he somehow holds himself together.  

When he manages to pry his eyes open, there he is. His form is blurred by Victor’s tears, but there’s no mistaking that face. Big, beautiful brown eyes peer down at him from behind blue-rimmed glasses, beneath a brow furrowed slightly with concern. His expression relaxes as he notices Victor’s eyes focusing on him.

“There you are,” Yuuri says with a small smile, though the worry doesn’t leave his eyes. He leans down and presses a gentle kiss to Victor’s forehead. “How are you feeling, love? Does anything hurt?”

Victor takes a second to consider. Aside from the foggy discomfort and the general sense of wrongness, there is no real pain aside from a faint, dull ache in the region of his right knee. He opens his mouth to reply, wanting to quell Yuuri’s worry, but all that comes out when he tries to speak is a weak croak.

“Oh, hold on.” Yuuri says, moving outside of Victor’s field of vision. He’s only gone for a second, but it feels like an eternity to Victor. When he returns, he’s holding a large styrofoam cup with a straw. “I’m just gonna sit you up a bit, okay, love?”

Victor nods, and Yuuri hits a button on the side of his bed. There’s a mechanical whirring as the mattress behind his back slowly lifts. It’s an unsettling feeling, to be raised up like this, and his discomfort must show on his face because Yuuri takes hold of his hand a second later, slowly helping him sit up until he’s settled comfortably.

“Here, drink some of this. The nurse said your mouth might be a bit dry when you woke up.”

A bit dry is an understatement, Victor thinks as Yuuri holds the straw up to his lips. He feels absolutely parched. The first sip of water feels gloriously cool and refreshing on his tongue, and he drinks greedily.

“Slowly, slowly, Vitya.” Yuuri reminds him gently, pulling the cup and straw back after a few seconds. “Take a little rest and then you can have some more.”

Victor whimpers, bereft, as the water is pulled away. Yuuri looks down at him with concern.  

“You’re sure nothing hurts?”

“No, it’s fine, I just… I…” Victor can’t finish his sentence as another wave of tears suddenly overwhelms him.

“Oh, honey,” Yuuri murmurs, taking Victor’s face in his hands and wiping tears away with his thumbs. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I… I don’t know, I…” Victor’s voice breaks off with a sob.

He really doesn’t know what’s wrong, and it scares him. He doesn’t know why he’s so emotional, or why his limbs feel so heavy, or why he can’t hold thoughts in his mind for very long. He doesn’t understand this haze of fog or why it’s making everything so difficult. He feels so confused and fragile and lost that there’s nothing else to do but let these helpless tears flow until the storm passes.

Looking at a loss for what to do, Yuuri leans over the bed and hugs Victor like he’s made of glass.

“It’s alright, love,” he whispers, rubbing soothing circles into Victor’s back. “It’s okay. You’re okay. Your surgeon told me the operation went just fine, you don’t have to worry about anything.”

The operation went… that’s it.

It all comes back to him, through the awful haze of confusion. That terrible moment of realization before he was put under, the knowledge that he’d left the most important thing unsaid, the fear as he’d fought so fiercely against unconsciousness. The helplessness as the anaesthetic had pulled him under anyway. The heavy dread of what could have been. Oh god, all the could-have-beens. He could have died on that table. He could have left Yuuri behind, without a real goodbye, without ever having told him he loved him, he could have, he could have-

His crying intensifies as he clutches Yuuri to him as tight as he can, weak as he is from the drugs. He knows it’s probably an uncomfortable position for Yuuri, bent awkwardly over his bed to avoid his IV line and heart monitor, but he doesn’t care. He needs Yuuri as close as he can get. He needs to make sure Yuuri knows.

“I love you,” he chokes out between sobs. It’s not enough, it’ll never be enough, but he’ll keep saying it anyway. “I love you, Yuuri. I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Yuuri pulls back from Victor’s embrace, looking a little alarmed now.

“I love you too, Victor. I… please, just tell me what’s wrong.”

“I didn’t say it!” Victor sobs, “Before I went in, I forgot to… you told me you loved me and I forgot to say it back and if anything… if anything happened in there, I wouldn’t have…”

He can’t go on any longer, can’t finish the sentence, it’s too upsetting to even think about. His words are lost in a fresh bout of sobbing and he clutches at Yuuri again.

“You didn’t… what?” Yuuri looks equal measures relieved and confused now. “Vitya, sweetheart, you did say it back.”

…What?

“What?” Victor sniffles pathetically.

“Yes,” Yuuri says, all traces of concern gone. He’s actually smiling a little. “Right before you went in, you told me you loved me. Is that what you were worried about?”

Victor hardly even hears Yuuri’s question, trying hard to think back through the fog, to remember those last moments before he was brought in to the operating room. Everything is so fuzzy, and it’s so hard to concentrate…

“I really didn’t forget to tell you?”

“I promise, Viten’ka. It was the last thing you said to me before they took you in. And then you kissed me,” Yuuri leans in and gives Victor a soft, quick kiss on the lips. “Just like this.”

“I… oh.” Victor sniffles, and blinks away the last of his tears.

Yuuri laughs lightly, looking down at Victor with a mix of amusement and affection. “That’s really what had you so upset?”

Victor feels a pang of annoyance. Why is Yuuri trivializing this? Doesn’t he understand what could have happened? How bad it could have been? He turns away from Yuuri as best he can, pouting.

“It’s not nothing, Yuuri! What if I really hadn’t told you I love you? What if something had gone wrong, and I-“

“Vitya.” Yuuri interrupts him quietly just as his voice begins to shake, laying a soothing hand on his arm. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. But nothing happened, alright? You told me you loved me, and your surgery went just fine, and you’re going to be okay. Let’s… let’s not worry about what could have been, okay? Please?”

Yuuri’s earnest tone compels Victor to turn back over and meet his gaze, and his heart sinks. Looking into eyes, Victor can see it now. The slight bags underneath, that little shadow of residual worry. With a sinking feeling, he realizes that Yuuri had been just as afraid as he was about the possibility of something going wrong with the operation, and he knows that bringing up the could-have-beens hasn’t helped with that at all.

“Okay.” he says, reaching out for his husband again. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”

Yuuri smiles a tired but relieved smile and pulls Victor into a gentle embrace. “It’s alright, Vitya. I’m just glad you’re safe.”

They hold each other like that for a while, no sound in Victor’s hospital room but the steady, rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor. The drugged haze doesn’t feel so scary or disorienting here in Yuuri’s arms. Eventually, though, he can feel the effects of the painkillers making him drowsy again.

Yuuri seems to realize this as well, and he gently pulls away and settles Victor back to the mattress, lowering his bed back into the reclining position.

“You look sleepy, love,” he says, wiping the last residual tears gently off of Victor’s face. “You should get some rest. I’ll wake you when the surgeon comes back in to give us an update, okay?”

“Mmmkay,” Victor murmurs, his eyelids feeling heavy already. Yuuri resumes his rhythmic stroking of Victor’s hair as eyes drift closed and he starts to fall asleep once more.

But there’s one more thing…. one important thing he needs to say before he drifts off to sleep. Just to make sure.

“I love you, Yuuri.”

Just before he falls asleep, he hears an affectionate chuckle, and feels soft, warm lips on his.

“I love you too, Vitya.”