itsmischiefdemigod79 · 1 year ago
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reading a “canon character x reader” always feels like an out-of-body experience for me.
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sureuncertainty · 2 years ago
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alright personal post time related to the last post i reblogged
soooo i’m a system! i’ve known this for quite some time now (since the beginning of the pandemic actually) but haven’t been able to be super open about it for a LOT of reasons. however we’ve become more comfortable talking about it and i’ve decided to open up about it on here bc this is something that is a (obviously) big part of our life and there are very few places where we can be open about it and this is one of those places where we can be a bit more vulnerable. 
i just reblogged a post that goes into more detail about plurality itself, aka multiplicity, being a system, etc. which essentially just means multiple people sharing a body. specifically we have a form of OSDD, which is a dissociative disorder, but not the only way to be plural (and tbh i think we might be plural even without the OSDD we’re not 100% sure) plurality is a HUGE range of experiences and no two systems are fully alike, i kinda see it like neurodivergence where it’s just like... a form of existence that’s relatively normal just not talked about much
unfortunately, there’s also a very high population of gross sysmeds on tumblr (a big reason why I kept this part of my identity hidden for awhile) so if you, my follower reading this, are one of them, pls just block and move on i’d rather not argue our existence with you thanks byeeee (sysmeds or system medicalists basically believe that systems have to exist in a certain way to be “valid” or real, like having a certain amount of Trauma(tm) or being diagnosed with a specific kind of disorder, or having X symptom, etc. which is not true)
BUT ANYWAY as for what that means for us and our blog, here are some things about our system we’d like you all to know:
- we don’t REALLY have a system name (we kinda go by Rain but that’s still a placeholder) but will answer to whatever. Win works for all of us as well. Percy, myself (the one writing this) am the person you probably already know, and am pretty much always fronting at any given time, so you can assume that i’m here most of the time.
- i use i/me pronouns a lot too bc it’s easier and more comfortable, especially since i’m basically always around. sometimes we mean it in a collective sense (which yes i know is not grammatically correct but whatever we can do what we want)
- most of our system members are, as you might have already guessed, introjects of my OCs. any OC that I’ve spent any amount of time rambling about on here most likely exists as a fully formed person in our system and are the main headmates who I interact with on a daily basis
- we also have some fictives (introjects of fictional characters) of characters that are not OCs but none of them are currently active in our system
- our frequent fronters (headmates that are around a lot or at least often enough that you’ve probably interacted with them at least a bit if we’re friends) include me, Percy, my bestie Avery (fronting a LOT of the time, we’re basically cohosts at this point), Nyx, Kat, Roma, Emma, and Angel! (and more of our characters, but those are the most actively involved in our day to day life)
- feel free to say hi to any of my headmates if you’d like! in fact, we’d all love that!! we’re not very out as plural so it’s nice to have more people see us as who we really are, instead of just as characters who don’t really exist. it also helps us with distinguishing between ourselves bc we get hella blurry sometimes. Just keep in mind that they are not just characters but real actual people with their own thoughts, feelings, likes, dislikes, personalities, etc, and even though you might “know” them from reading things I’ve posted here about them, they don’t necessarily know you (although they might know who you are if we’re friends, especially if i know you irl)
all that to say, this is NOT an open invitation to come into my inbox with invasive questions, in fact, we’ll probably be closing anonymous asks for a bit preemptively just in case (we should be opening them again later). if we are friends/mutuals, feel free to DM me if you’d like to talk about it more or have questions. if we are strangers please do not do that lol. okay i think that’s it byeeee
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pegasister60 · 3 years ago
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A thing for @lemliv‘s MCYT Sugar Rush AU!
I wanted to make him a racer but then I remembered I couldn’t draw vehicles.
So you get this instead! Bedwars peeps (aka most of Tiredtwt) in a platformer! The name’s a placeholder but everything else I am confident in.
Aim of the game is to get to the top without dying and to clear as many stages based on Bedwars maps as you can. Heavily inspired by the og Kid Icarus in terms of gameplay with the exception of the default weapon not being a bow.
Below the cut will be more information about the game itself and how it works copied almost exactly from the discord dm where I gushed about it to a friend.
You’ve got story mode, versus mode, free climb, and secret levels.
Story mode is single-player and after the character select screen you cannot change your character. You complete levels and at the end of every level you’ll get some lore. Maybe a mini-boss fight.
Versus mode is just a race. 2 players will try to reach the end of the level without getting left behind. The screen does not split and scrolls upwards faster and faster as the race progresses. If you hit the bottom edge of the screen and vanish off it you take damage and depending on your character that might be it for you. Winner’s character does a boasting animation and the loser’s character does their death animation.
Free climb lets you select a map and then climb and climb and climb until you miss a jump and fall into the void. It does not have enemies and is good practice.
Secret levels are unlocked by beating story mode.
Normally when you play story mode if you get a game over you are given a code to take you back to the beginning of the level you failed in so you don’t have to replay the whole thing to get back. It can be input on the character select screen after holding down red and blue.
When you finish a character’s route you get given a code for a secret level for that character. It unlocks a cool mini-game.
Purpled’s is Dogchamp’s Dinner Rush. You play with Dogchamp following you as you climb through the levels. The only enemies are skeletons that drop bones instead of iron and the objective is to get as many as possible before reaching the end of the level. At the very end, Purpled will toss them to Dogchamp one by one and Dogchamp will jump to crunch them all and then do a happy bark.
It’s cute.
Now some stuff about story mode.
The enemies drop iron and gold and there’s shops you can jump into every few levels to buy stuff from. A potion that gives you extra long jumps for a bit, fireballs that shoot in the direction you’re facing when you use the item button, golden apples that let you take one free hit. You can hold more than one item but you have to use them in the order purchased and it only displays the currently usable item. The controls are pretty simple. There’s the green joystick, red jump, blue crouch, and purple button (tap to attack, hold to use item) along with the black select/start buttons. There’s two sets of controls bc versus mode. When you complete a level, depending on your character, you get either an emerald or a diamond. For Purpled if you get four emeralds you can get an extra life that looks like an enderpearl instead of a player head. When you get down to the extra life Purpled vwhoops onto the nearest free platform with tiny purple particles. This is not always convenient but it’s consistent.
When you lose a life and still have more left your hurt animation is kinda like Sonic’s. Most of your iron and gold scatters and ends up going over the edge, though anything that’s still on the ground you can pick up again.
Killing enemies is the basic jump on top of them, though some are more resilient and you have to actually strike them multiple times with your weapon. Some enemies act as springboards, usually the ones that float across on the horizontal or vertical. Others are just there so you have to actually watch your jumps so you don’t slam into them sideways.
The aim of the game? Advance and survive.
Advance obviously means onwards and upwards.
Survive means keep moving.
If you spend a significantly long time on one screen it rumbles and the dragon roar sounds. The dragon counter resets with every new screen but if you’re absolutely stuck then it’s game over. Dragon swoops up from the bottom of the screen and its wingspan takes out everything on the screen at once, enemies, player 2’s, and all.
When you 100% game over and the continue screen fades out it plays the character retreat animation (Purpled’s is getting picked up by a ufo) and gives you a leaderboard screen.
When you just die normally your character will collapse and their continue screen animation will play. Purpled’s is Dogchamp trotting over to sit next to him. When you insert a coin Dogchamp nudges Purpled and Purpled springs up to keep going.
The character select screen shows all the characters but sometimes they’re not available and their squares are grayed out. When you hover over a character their portrait gets shown along with their stats.
Wallibear has a special fireball jump he can do if you shoot one down. He starts with a fireball. His portrait shows a person in a bear hoodie but his sprite is a blue bear in a hoodie.
Purpled has the highest jump of any character and starts with an emerald. He also has objectively the most Story dialogue because if you don’t play as him he appears in almost every route and becomes the shopekeeper. In his route the shopkeeper varies. And so on.
The more hearts a character has the more damage they can take before they lose a life. All characters have three lives to start with unless you use a cheatcode.
A character’s weaknesses can be compensated for with items though how far into the game you’ll be able to afford them is another matter entirely.
Example being that with a jump boost most mediocre jumpers can match Purpled’s default. And with enough golden apples and enderpearls lined up Purpled can stop being a two-shot.
It isn’t as popular as Sugar Rush but it’s got regulars and it’s nostalgic as hell.
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approximately20blorbos · 2 years ago
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hi hello hi ik how it feels to be writer bored seeing as its my default state so i will attempt to cure ur writer bored!!!!
whats a small detail of your wip that you like a lot? what about a big one? does your wip play with symbolism? name meanings?
aaaaa thank you!! and name meanings I am hhsgshsgsvshsvs yes the names have meanings I am going to answer this out of order because oh bOY
so first of all instead of a last name, shining elves use a prefix on the first (and only!) name to indicate lineage (which can be traced through either biological parent, but if it applies smoothly, it goes by sex assigned at birth. trans people can choose whether to change their name to the other parent if they want, and you don't necessarily have to be trans to do that either, but that is generally how it goes. same sex couples able to conceive naturally generally settle naming their kids on a case by case basis.) but anyway. that prefix tends to be a noun and related to nature of some sort. for the first 20 years of a shining elf's life, they have no name, but instead a placeholder of sorts that just means child. then, when they turn 20, the Eldest and the people closest to them get together and figure out what their name will be based on their personality. It can be changed later too, if it turns out not to fit, because elves consider having a meaningful name to be incredibly important. so with that being said—
Regaya: I'm not sure what her lineage translates to, but it's probably something culturally important given that she's descended from royalty. so probably something to do with stars. her actual name, though, means agency. it wasn't always her name, and I'm not sure what her name was before she had it changed, but it was probably something docile or sweet. so she met with the Eldest and had it changed to what it is now
Immor: the first part of Immor's name means sunlight! the second part is most commonly translated to indomitable, but Immor would be more happy to describe it as meaning resilient, perseverant, steadfast, or a similar word because he feels that the common translation paints a more infallible picture of himself than he necessarily agrees with. and I do think he has conflict with his name at times—I think it gets exhausting, to identify with his ability to overcome when all be really wants is to exist peacefully with his family
Immerlias: the prefix is the same, and the suffix means joy! he's extremely happy with this, which you can probably guess is in-character, given that he was named after.... happiness. yeah. this will definitely cause some internal strife later in the narrative when he starts having to deconstruct some of his naive attitudes towards the world and overcome a dark time in his life, but eventually he will come to identify even more strongly with his name because of it
Aryaea: the prefix means bushfire, and honestly, I haven't really picked a steady meaning for the suffix. this one's harder bc she shares a name with one of Immor's old friends (now deceased) so I have to decide what they have in common that is so significant to both of their personalities, and honestly I think it's the escapist tendencies but I don't know how to spin that into a positive light with a concise meaning. adventurous, maybe?
and now to the other questions!! a really small detail I like in the very small amount that I've properly written is that in an early chapter, Immerlias is writing in his journal and spills ink on the word "happy," so he has to rewrite it. Forshadowing™️
as for a big detail, I've been working on worldbuilding out this group of nomadic people whose warriors are exclusively made up of werewolf monks who have sworn not to have any more children once they've contracted lycanthropy and joined the military/monastery, based on the belief that lycanthropy should only be a choice taken with informed consent and so to have children born naturally with the condition would go against that. the detailing here is shallow thus far but in my dnd games Aryaea typically ends up a werewolf eventually which has some really great symbolism for her has a character so I'm really excited and happy to have a reason to put it in the actual wip as well
and finally, yee, I do think my wip plays with symbolism, on levels both internal and mildly allegorical. the allegory is that capitalism bad (/hj) and then there's smaller scale stuff like using the sun as a symbol for Immerlias at times, and then there's mid tier stuff like Aryaea's lycanthropy that I think just goes really well with her specific brand of mentally-ill. I will happily ramble more about that last bit if you want me to but I have already typed So Much lmao and I already must thank you for helping cure my writey boredom :)
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bittersweetmelxdy · 4 years ago
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Hey! If requests are open may I request a scenario where the guys realise they’re in love with MC? I just want some cute fluff bc life is salting me 😔 thank you!
*knock knock* I have a delivery of some cute fluff for a very special someone ;). Hope you like it, I tried a new format x
Victor:  
Now I’ve used this in a title for a scenario before but when Victor realised he had fallen for you it was like the sun came out, when dawn breaks through the darkness of night and the world is washed in colour. Not quite a shock, but more like suddenly where you were stumbling in darkness, you now could see everything clearly before you. Victor actually had been repressing any kind of feelings he had for you for a while, not wanting to enter the murky waters of a more personal relationship with someone who technically worked for him. However, like how you know that the morning will always come after the night and nothing will stop it, you had wormed your way into being a permanent fixture in his life. Victor was actually abroad, and it was the last day of his trip when he realised that he hadn’t bought you something, he rushed out of the hotel heading to the local market, staring at the various handmade trinkets adorning the market stalls around him, and it was only when one of the stall owners asked if the gift was for ‘someone special’ he opened his mouth to clarify and it hit him. A quiet ‘oh’ passed his lips, and like I said everything just clicked in his mind, all the things he did for you, how he thought ABOUT you, just became so clear to him, he loved you. As he walked back to his hotel room to grab his luggage from the front desk where he left it and head to the airport, he thumbed caressed the cute trinket in his hand, and he huffed a laugh, thinking maybe he had spent so much time with you that you slowness had rubbed off on him, but now he knew, he wasn’t going to let anything blindside he from you ever again. And he always keeps his word.
Lucien:  
Lucien falls for you like when a caterpillar grows into a butterfly, just like how no-one sees the humble caterpillar emerging from its egg, Lucien’s love for you began without him even realising it. It could have started years ago when he read to that wide-eyed girl under the Camphor tree when he was a child, or it may have even started unknowingly when he received you as a target for Black Swan, the point was there the start of your love was quiet and went unnoticed to him. The more he interacted with you, the more his love grew in the shadows, like the caterpillar growing and then becoming a chrysalis, each interaction food for his love-starved soul. He had invited you out to the park, ironically to seeing the migration of the butterflies, and he didn’t quite fully understand why seeing you run up to him at the meeting spot, full of excitement made his heart flutter, the chrysalis was beginning to break. You and he spoke as you walked through the park, smelling the flowers as you walked, and Lucien told you about their proper names to your rapt attention. But suddenly when the butterflies took off surrounding the two of you as you giggled, smile brighter than the sun, Lucien felt his own butterfly take flight. He felt love was a beautiful and as delicate as a butterfly's wings, something you could admire from afar, but a heavy hand could cause irreversible damage, but he knew he would protect it as long as you would continue to fly for him.
Kiro:  
Kiro is a person who I believe has struggled with the idea of self-worth all his life, he knew that he could influence people’s dependency upon him due to his Evol. So, he was always wary in giving his love and opening his heart before knowing whether the feelings he’s being shown are genuine or the product of his Evol. You and he clicked from the moment you met, and from that very moment that you were going to impact his life in a major way. His moment wasn’t big, loud or over the top, full of the glitz and glamour of the showbusiness he was familiar with, in fact one might say it was the antithesis of all this. Kiro fell in love like drinking your favourite warm drink on a cold day, from the first sip it’s warmth and sweetness blossomed within you, soothing you from the inside out, until that comfortable cosy feeling settles withing you protecting you from the harsh surroundings. It was late at night, he was strumming along on his guitar, trying to write his new songs, playing with different riffs and melodies. When he opened his mouth to put some placeholder lyrics to the song, and all his words embodied you. Whether it was the feelings you evoked in him, or imagery that reminded him of you, as Kiro became conscious of this he didn’t stop, didn’t trail off, but his voice became stronger, his smile growing softer and wider as the song rose and fell, and strumming the final chord, Kiro leaned back collapsing on his back on his bed. A happy giggle phased past his lips into the empty room, and Kiro felt his eyes become warm and soft as he saw you in his mind’s eye. Knowing that what he felt for you was love was like an adrenaline rush to his system, his heart beating like a drum and it didn’t scare him or shock him, but settled him, ready to love you with everything he has, in hope that he can make you feel each a piece of how he feels.
Gavin:  
We all know the story how Gavin has loved you since high school and you made him into the man he is today. But the time he realising he loved you of the present instead of the you of the past, was a journey. He had just come back from a mission and he was making his way back to your apartment. He had tried to hide his fatigue and his pain, but you had opened the door, taken one look at him and then pulled him firmly and gently over to your living room couch. You grabbed the first aid kit, and as you gently cleaned and wrapped his wounds in bandages, pressing a light kiss to each bandaged portion of his body, it hit Gavin. Not in way that shocked him, but more like when you’re looking at the night sky, and suddenly the clouds clear and you can see the galaxy stretching out before you. Gavin knew he wouldn’t want to be anywhere but right here with you, he always felt before that he had to hide his pain from you, to be someone who was strong enough for you to rely on, and any pain shown was weakness. But you had taught he that sharing your pain with the people you love is not weakness, along with how to love himself better. But one thing you never had to teach him, but took him a while to recognise, was that home was not his clean apartment with plaster and brick walls but in your loving smile and nestled in your arms. He finally felt like he had a place to belong, a person to love and be loved by, and everytime Gavin saw you looking at him like he held the galaxy in his hands, he vowed to show you that if the galaxy was in his hands, you would always be his North Star, guiding safely home.
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c0rpsedemon · 3 years ago
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i’m kind of in love with your oc’s please use this as a free space to talk about them. would it be just the bigger characters or also more minor figures or become more minor characters over the story (like how in eah it starts off with a selection from well known fairytales then as it goes on it adds in others like the snow queen (not unknown but not as big as snow white/cinderella etc)
!!!!!!!! i think it's going to expand into including more minor figures but honestly so far i've just started at my favorite little guys (minus the ones that i don't know how would be able to exist (ie. galahad) if a solid 80% of these characters are teenage girls) and built outwards from there based on who they should know
the main character, who's based on lancelot, is named adelaide. the main difference between her and lancelot is that while he's just too good at stabbing, her fight or flight reaction is "hit as hard as possible and aim at the head. preferably with a sword." she can generally be found wherever the nearest fountain is (fountain... lake.... get it?. she's convinced that she Has to be in love with my guinnevere-equivalent but they won't so much as look at each other now because that's for when at least one of them is married and they can have a proper courtly romance (mentioned this in the original post but see: apple white's whole "we can date when we're married" thing). she has the world's largest collection of hand-knit sweaters from the lady of the lake who is. literally vivviane arthuriana but i'm not sure what we're looking at for their relation bc parent-child would be too straightforward. i'm thinking grandparent-grandchild but that might imply she's lancelot's daughter so i'll figure it out later. a large amount of those sweaters are xmas sweaters but not with like. snowmen and santa and trees. like full on nativity scenes. she also has a lot of easter sweaters with jesus getting crucified on them. catholics, man. rumor has it that if you shove her in a lake she'll grow a fish's tail. i can't confirm or deny it but i can say that the rumor was started because i Like mermaids. uhhhhh it's also worth noting that she goes semi verbal a lot of the time and also is just as transgender as the original lancelot.
madeleine is our gawaine-equivalent. she's not more impulsive than adelaide, necessarily, but she sure does seem it due to how brash she is. she's just as fast-talking and flirty as the gawaine we know and love and honestly i'm having trouble describing her as anything but gawaine as a teenage girl so i'll need to work on that. she and adelaide have those matching bff heart charms. also she was raised by pirates i'm keeping that.
tristan is johanna but i might change her name later on. she's a self-described master of disguises and when not using her talents to sneak around her uncle's (who is just straight up mark) house, she actually really likes to sew. she's an archer and plays the harp, just like our tristan. she learned how to shoot while using one of those fucking. nerf bows. and begged to get a real one instead of a sword. bc she spent all her time training with a bow, however, she really can't use a sword in any capacity that doesn't involve just swinging it wildly in a vague direction.
jordan is a placeholder name i've gotten attached to, and belongs to the guy based on isolde (blonde edition). he's a (self declared) nurse with a bit of a Thing about poison. that thing specifically is an elaborate lie about potentially being poisoned and wanting to be prepared Just In Case (he really just likes poison). people buy said lie bc he is a bit of a hypochondriac. he has some sort of musical talent bc the fact that palomydes sings and tristan plays the harp and isolde doesn't do anything has always bugged me.
so far galehaut is both nameless and rough-idea-of-a-design-less. but she's a princess with a pretty huge crush on adelaide based entirely on the fact that she saw her once (the one time she tried to talk to her adelaide just kinda froze up). i wanna keep the warlord thing but also That Is A Literal Teenage Girl so idk how that'd work.
palomydes is also nameless but i have an idea at her design so she's got a leg up there. she still has two swords but all i've got other than that is that she's a particular kind of eccentric (not the right word but good enough) that pairs well with johanna and jordan's. i might name her something with a j for obvious reasons.
bertilak i just have an idea at a design for. but y'know that one dame archer post? yeah that's her but with an axe.
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freebooter4ever · 4 years ago
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i’ve seen the discussion going back and forth on boundaries and sexual objectification, and i don’t have much to add to the conversation other than to say everyone is allowed to determine their OWN ‘lines’ and just because we don’t vocalize them doesn’t make them any less valid. but here’s the limits i set for my blog if anyone feels it is important for them to know (<3):
personally I consider ‘characters’ fair game for anything goes, with ‘public personas’ a little more iffy. ‘RPF’ isn’t new - it just takes on a new more accessible/visible form nowadays. i remember reading my first fic about a ‘real person’ back in my LOTR fandom days - it was a story in first person perspective about the main character meeting orlando bloom on a plane before he was ‘famous’. like a lot of these types of stories, it wasnt so much about the person as it was about the meet cute. the actor was just a convenient placeholder with a handsome face and some personality quirks thrown in to make the romance/dialogue more specific. i personally dont read much xReader fic nowadays, but mostly only cause i’m an old fart who can’t relate to the ‘you’ format. i miss the good old days when people actually created OC’s and then inserted them into things LOL. but also LOL if you think i’ve gone an entire year of quarantine without some imagined personal fantasies of joe mazzello (or steve aoki in the years before)(ramilicious can attest to this. she can also attest to most of these fantasies ending in friendship rather than anything explicit cause that’s just how i roll these days lol). the line i draw is i would never post these types of fics in a place where the subject could accidentally find them - you have to go looking for this stuff on tumblr, most fics are given explicit ratings and under read-mores. with the blacklist tags it’s pretty easy to filter things out. its even easier to add filters to ao3 searches. i am NOT going to do something like message steve aoki and say ‘yeah i watched that movie Ibiza like five times, here is my 1k fic where you’re the dj and i’m the one night stand’. but obviously people still enjoy imagining scenarios like these otherwise movies like Ibiza wouldn’t exist?
for art, i consider anything already on display up for grabs, we all know a certain person’s ass is all over the place...all you have to do is google ‘need for speed’ and rami’s name. HOWEVER, in the case of actors i personally would not draw anything more explicit than what’s already there. i’m not gonna draw full frontal nudity for rami (unless he gifts us with it in a movie, i suppose) or anyone. this is 100% a personal choice for me. 
i was a sophomore or junior in college when i volunteered as a figure drawing monitor where i’d time the nude model’s poses and help them set up the stage and lighting and such. there was this one guy in his mid forties probably, a regular who came every week, and i always thought of him fondly till one day (the day after i ran into my Hot Programming TA during dinner and later sent him an email begging him to go on a date with me because i was desperate for kissing experience)(and Hot Programming TA emailed me back within minutes saying yes) this artist guy who i saw all the time and thought i knew fairly well, decided to draw me instead of the model. which would have been fine except he drew me naked. i was NOT naked at the time, i was wearing a shirt, and a bra, and a full prairie skirt with alternating calico and floral patterns. he drew what he imagined was underneath all that. he came up to me after the figure drawing session and showed me his drawings and told me i had been ‘glowing’ and my response was to laugh it off awkwardly and get the hell out of there as soon as i gave the model their pay check. but inwardly i was thinking a) i was NOT glowing for this creepy man twice my age and b) i did NOT give him consent to sexualize my body under my clothes and then SHOW me that objectification. i never said anything to him or anything else, i continued to be the monitor, and i continued to field off creepy advances from him including multiple job offers, but when i finally realized i could just...stop..and i passed the student volunteer monitor job on to my friend naeem, i also realized that what that older male artist did was NOT ok in my book. and it was probably not something he would do while naeem was monitoring.
nowadays im working in an industry that regularly objectifies female bodies. in the past year alone i have had to deal with requests to make breasts bigger, i have been given character rigs that in addition to the usual elbow, knee, and spine joints also have ‘nipple’ joints but ONLY for the women (to make them jiggle for animation), every time i send out a female pose i get it back with notes that push it further into the sexy type of body language reserved for women (twist the spine more! sway the back more! give it ‘energy!’), i have been told to erase wrinkles and fat and pores but ONLY for the women (men you ADD pores bc realism! and manliness!) and this is all me working for a company that is actually fairly progressive in terms of sexism compared to OTHER studios.
like it or not, sexual objectification is a huge part of specifically women’s lives and how we react to that is our business. for me, turning the tables and putting men on display feels like fair’s fair. i cant stop the men from doing it, so if i want to enjoy sexualizing male bodies, damn it im gonna! like dang it, boy do i want to send steve aoki a thank you note every time he posts a video of himself doing those ice baths during the sunset golden hour bc holy shit gorgeous or working out in his gym wearing VERY little clothes, but i dont because i know what its like when someone imposes their personal fantasies on the subject. or, god, there was that time i had to unfollow nicole’s insta for a while bc i had a very explicit dream about her and realized, shit, i need to take a break and get my emotions under control before i can refollow. and god some of the stuff i see dudes sending her during her live videos on mental illness/meditation is TOTALLY gross and not something they should be confronting her with. and she’s not even ‘famous’ famous. or how some fans send their idols explicit direct messages without consent. THAT feels inappropriate to me.
a part of me feels like i shouldn’t have to defend this. men don’t. they’re even encouraged in mass media to sexualize women. but i also recognize the importance of talking about consent. the importance of recognizing that a celebrity deserves to have their boundaries respected. these are my lines in fandom. other people have different lines they won’t cross, and that’s okay to me. i block or blacklist any blogs or tags i think go over the top.
heck, even in fandom-only spaces i still try to keep my own more sexual fantasies off this blog and only in private messages with my friends and mutuals, and i feel like that might come across as unintentionally prudish or judgmental sometimes. i’m not ‘horny on main’ very often. but like...every time i reblog that particular ‘washing machine’ gif of joe mazzello am i thinking about him naked and thinking about how he’s got very loooooong feet, and ‘gee i wonder if that means /other/ things are Too Big for my tastes’ but also ‘gosh wouldnt that make a pretty picture to draw’???? hell yeah.
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i dont know who is gonna actually read this essay but yolo i guess :)
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verfound · 4 years ago
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For your WIP wednesday (because I'm pretty sure I know which one it is...) caught in the act, please!
You just come out swinging, don’cha?  xD  Ok I’mma placeholder post this bc none of that particular fic is very sfw...
Caught in the Act is a 5x fic for Smutember, where...well it pretty much does what it says on the tin, doesn’t it?  The working title is actually “Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Horny on Main for Luka Couffaine” (thanks @mangoes-n-cream xD).
(Lemony fresh goodness under the cut~)
It had been a good night.
A really good night.
The show had been amazing.  Five encores.  The crowd couldn’t get enough of the band.  Jagged had surprised everyone by coming to the show, and when the crowd wouldn’t stop he’d slid out on his knees halfway through Luka’s guitar solo and led the band in another two encores.  And the entire time, Marinette had stood in the wings, helping with quick-changes and quickly mending rips if needed but all the while watching him with shining eyes.
He’d been flying high – he still was.  It had been one of the best shows of his career to date.  And when they’d finally walked off stage, he’d blown right past Jagged and Penny, grabbed Marinette’s hand, and tugged her back to the greenroom. Jagged’s raucous laughter had followed them, reminding them to lock the goddamned door and hurry it up – drinks on me!
Marinette was right.  He usually was horny as hell after a show, and it had been a really good show.
The door had barely closed behind them before he was pushing her against it, his mouth sealed to hers as he scooped her up and rocked against her.  She started giggling, which made it a little difficult to properly kiss her, so he started trailing kisses down her neck instead. She was wearing a red halter top that had shimmered in the lights all night, and he wanted nothing more than to rip it off of her.
“God, I need you,” he rasped, grinding her against the door.  She gasped as she felt the evidence of that need pressing into her, her hands knotting in his hair and giving a sharp tug.
“Down,” she said, pushing a heel against his ass.  He made a noise – somewhere between desperate and annoyed – and she started laughing again.  “Luka. Pants.”
“I fucking hate clothes,” he growled.  She shivered at his voice, and then she was tugging his mouth away from her chest to kiss him hard.  She used her leverage against the door to push him back, pulling his face with her as she slid down his body.  Her hands found his belt, and then the kiss was over as she tugged and spun them. His breath left him in a whoosh as she pushed him against the door, and he laughed as she leaned up to nip at his jaw with a grin.  “I fucking love you, though.”
“The feeling is quite mutual, star,” she purred.  His pants and boxers were already around his knees, her hand already wrapped around his cock and pumping in a slow, steady motion.  Her lips were back on his jaw, and he groaned as his head fell back against the door.  “I want you in my bed later, but I think I can take care of this for now.  Jagged’s expecting us.”
“Stop talking about my dad and blow me already,” he groaned, his grip tightening on her hips. She leaned back, just enough that he could see the stern look in her eyes, and gave him an extra hard squeeze. His lips twisted in a grin. “…please.”
“Good boy,” she said, her hand resuming its glide along his throbbing cock.  He slumped back against the door, his hips angling towards her as she stroked him.
“God, yes…” he sighed.  She rubbed her thumb along his tip on the upsweep, spreading the fluid that was already leaking there, and his knees nearly gave out on him.  She giggled as her free arm wrapped around his hips, tugging him against her.
“Maybe we should move to the couch,” she teased.  “You have had a long night, after all.  You worked so hard.”
He wasn’t entirely sure how they made it from the door to the couch, though.  He knew she had started to move away from him, and he had started to chase after her, but in his lust-addled state he had forgotten the tight pants still hanging around his knees.  He had barely registered the stumble before she was scooping him up, and he nearly came right then as she carried him across the room.  Somehow she got them to the couch (which wasn’t surprising, because it was Marinette), and the next thing he knew she was kneeling between his knees, his hands fisted in her hair as she bobbed her head along his length.
“Fuck, yes,” he hissed, his head falling back against the couch as she moved.  She hummed around him, and his hips jerked when she brought a hand up to massage his balls.  He was so close…there was no way he was going to last at this rate, if she kept…
Two things happened simultaneously.
Marinette did that thing with her tongue that was always guaranteed to make him nut, and a loud moan slipped past his lips as he jerked forward with his release.
And the door opened, the bright, cheery voice of Adrien Agreste calling out in greeting.
“Luka! You in here?  Great show, man!  You…” Adrien froze, his eyes blowing wide as they landed on Marinette, on her knees, blowing him.  Luka’s head snapped up, his own eyes wide as they locked on Adrien, but he was still coming and Marinette was still sucking, moaning as she swallowed everything he had to give her.  His fingers twisted in her hair, trying to pull her back, to bring her attention to their unwanted guest.  She finally moved away from him, lightly scraping her teeth against him as she did so. If he’d had anything left, he probably would’ve come again.  “…killed it.”
Marinette’s eyes widened at Adrien’s voice, but Luka was suddenly less interested in Adrien and more interested in the bit of cum that had dribbled over her lip. She turned to look at Adrien, even as Luka was choking out her name, and she shot their old friend an annoyed look as she wiped her lips with her thumb.  Adrien’s mouth was moving wordlessly as she popped that thumb into her mouth and sucked.
“…oh my God,” Adrien finally said.  Luka noticed the poor guy’s pants were suddenly obscenely tight, and his hand had a white-knuckled death grip on the door.  “You can do that?!”
“Adrien,” Marinette bit, her voice clear and commanding – her Ladybug voice – if a little husky from…  “Can’t you fucking knock?”
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moved-to-void-kissed · 4 years ago
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✨ for camille bc we almost share the same name ghdkjg - uponthinegoldenwings
Haha, really? That’s pretty neat! Thank you for this, @uponthinegoldenwings!~
(ask source: this post by dragonsmooch)
Send me ✨ for a random thing about one of my OCs! (Optional: You can specify one!) - so, although I now use Camille as my self-insert for Skyrim (or one of them, anyway, since I have a self-insert for each of my different playstyles), she was originally created for something very creatively called Magic Story. It never had a name, so that was always the placeholder, but at this point it’s kind of half-jokingly become the name.
The premise of that project was that a team of mages, all of whom specialised in different attributes of magic, had been dispatched by the Council of Valena (one of the kingdoms that existed in that world) to go and figure out why Valena’s main natural source of magic, the Glass Forest (a large forested area where the plant life grows as crystals), is starting to be damaged and why its ability to generate magic seems to be lessening. When they arrive, they find a mysterious kind of parasite that appears to be feeding off of the magic and corrupting the landscape, but it won’t go away until they find its source, which is what they have to try and find. Of course, trying to use magic to get rid of something that’s weakening your magic is a bit difficult.
In this project, Camille was a dream mage, so instead of having much offensive prowess, she focused more on information gathering and assisting her fellow mages by granting them good effects while they slept. I thought of Magic Story as if it were a game, so she would either act like what I know of the navigator-type characters from certain Persona games (providing info on enemies, etc.), or if she was a playable character herself, she would focus much more on supporting the team through inflicting negative statuses and effects on enemies rather than attacking with magic herself. This wasn’t while I was thinking of her as a self-insert, though - that aspect came later, when I looked at her and thought “hmm, she’s just me, isn’t she”
I really need to get to the rest of these so I’m going to leave this one here for now, but I hope it was alright! Thank you for sending it in ^-^
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rpgmgames · 6 years ago
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September’s Featured Game: Ghost Hospital
DEVELOPER(S): Lev, Kip, Rose, Tredlocity, C, Bittersweet ENGINE: RPGMaker MV GENRE: Adventure, RPG WARNINGS: Anxiety, Body horror, Implied child harm SUMMARY: Ghost Hospital is a game about anxiety, depression, despair, mental rock bottoms, and, of course, ghosts. You play as Robin, a twelve-year-old girl who has an anxiety disorder and is very much alive in this hospital meant for beings that are not alive. Frankly, her anxiety was already bad enough before she landed in a hospital full of dead people, the still-shambling shells of ancient ghosts who try to take her down for a sweet taste of life, and the hospital directors hellbent on keeping her contained, and more importantly, away from the reason she's REALLY there. Thankfully, you have your new friends Jay and Sarcastic Ghost- Jay is a ghost about your age, and still a very new arrival to the hospital, and Sarcastic Ghost…well, he's an amorphous blob of a ghost, who talks a lot despite not having a mouth.
Download the demo here!
Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!
Introduce yourself! Lev: Hey, my name is Lev! I'm an artist and storyteller, and though I've wanted to make games for a long time, this is my first serious attempt! Most of my work is about my experiences in mental illness. Kip: I'm a freelance artist being allowed to write cheap jokes in ghost form. Rose: I'm a freelance writer and editor for the game! I also work on dialogue and story drafting. Tredlocity: My name is Tredlocity! I do some character designs and writing in the game! C: c / ghoul is a character designer, comic artist and Halloween enthusiast. They're currently apart of several indie game teams and are writing the webcomic, This Dark Forest of Ours. Bittersweet: I'm Kendall (AKA Bittersweet), and I'm the resident music person (one of two, technically, but the other left the project unfortunately.) This is my first (and thus far only) major soundtrack composition project, but thus far, it's been a satisfying one!
What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Lev: Ghost Hospital is a game about anxiety, and the game was born out of an idea to put someone in the shoes of someone with clinical anxiety and depression without going for the prototypical 'horror game' or 'walking simulator', giving more game-friendly, practical narrative and gameplay examples of how it effects people.
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How long have you been working on your project? *Lev: The game started development in late 2016 as a thesis project for college. At its inital completion, it was more of a beta or proof of concept than a demo- in its current state, it's far closer to what we have envisioned for the final project.
Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Lev: Absolutely! The biggest influences are OFF, Yume Nikki, and Sweet Home, and a lot of Gameboy Color graphics and aesthetics- namely, Pokemon GSC and the GBC Zelda Games.
Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Lev: RPG Maker is a versatile engine, but still fairly restrictive, so getting all the effects I wanted to work was challenging. Mental illness and real life have been taking a toll on development time, too. Getting things to work took teaching myself some javascript, and after being in serious development for this long, I've found ways to motivate myself to keep working. Having other people checking in on you helps, too.
Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Lev: In its very first inital pitch, it was much closer to Yume Nikki, being more atmospheric and serious. At some point in character and world development, though, I couldn't bear to make it a stoic adventure, and with most of the stuff I already take inspiration from, it's hard for me to not put jokes into the media I make, anyway.
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What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Lev: At the beginning, it was just me working on everything. The first people I brought on board were my concept artist, Kip, my writer, Rose, and my musician, Bittersweet. I can't do music on my own, and I knew from word go that I wanted this to be the kind of game with a strong story and a lot of unique NPCs.
What is the best part of developing the game? *Lev: Call me biased, but the most fun part is making the art for it. It's hard for me to motivate myself to keep working if I'm just using default placeholder sprites, I have to make new NPCs to keep myself interested. It's not the most convenient, but it's fun to do, and it actually really does help with my workflow.
Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Lev: Oh, absolutely. RPG Maker games have a bad reputation for being very cut-and-paste, and there's a lot of those out there. But it just takes a bit of effort to make yourself and your game stand out, and it can be done absolutely beautifully! The latest one I've played was Hylics, completely surreal and wonderful.
Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Lev: Robin is a sort of proxy character for myself, so...I'm a bit biased on her. I love Jay a lot, too, he's kinda the friend I wish I had in elementary school when all this first showed up, haha. *Tredlocity: As someone who faces anxiety on a daily basis, I relate to Robin a lot. Though I would say my favorite character is Jay, since he can shoot plasma and has blue hair. *C: I'm partial to Coop [upcoming character], not just bc I designed them but bc I love big sister types. *Rose: I also relate to robin and jay! i try to control my anxiety while remaining positive and hopeful about situations. *Bittersweet: As an anxiety-riddled person, I relate immensely to Robin. However, my favorite character by far has to be Carna. (There's another character I'm particularly looking forward to when the full version of the game is released, though~)
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Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Lev: Honestly, there's a few things I wanted the game to be able to do at the start that I wasn't able to make happen. I spent a LOT of time trying to get it to work without having to go in and code it myself, and I wish I'd been able to take a step back, remind myself that this is my first serious project, and just stop worrying so much about what, in the end, would've been a minor detail, anyway.
Once you finish your project, do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Lev: Chances are I'm gonna leave it alone, but if I go back, I HAVE had a bit of a 'Ghost College' AU where they're exploring a haunted old library on their college campus instead of being trapped in a ghost hospital. It'd probably be cool as a point-and-click adventure, but it wouldn't exactly be a canon exploration of the postgame.
What do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Lev: I'm actually working on a few other projects, so being able to work on those more freely would be great, especially considering I'm really bad at keeping my own limits in mind, haha.
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Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Lev: Mostly, I'm afraid that making a game about a subject like this, as a minority and with other people in my team that would be considered minorities, that releasing this game to the mainstream public would get me a lot of negative attention from people who think that people like us don't belong in the gaming sphere. It's pretty nerve-wracking, but after the positive reception of games like Undertale and SLARPG, it's getting easier to convince myself that I should be more afraid of people just generally not liking the game, haha.
Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Lev: Have someone to work with! DEFINITELY have someone to work with. Even if it's just a friend to bounce ideas off of or someone to ask if you've been working on the game, having someone else involved helps a lot. And specifically for RPG Maker- if you can, replace your default font with a different one. It's a minor detail, but it goes a long way towards making your game feel more original. *C: Always have a backlog of different projects. I have about four or five ideas constantly on rotation so I don't burn myself out on just one. *Tredlocity: My advice for any creatives is to start small, and just get it out. Feedback is a great motivator, and the only way to get better at something is to keep doing it! *Rose: I think some good advice is to write a few drafts of whatever it is you're working on in order to see which version you'd like to continue! let your work have different scenarios and situations based on various elements you insert or take out of a story, game, or other piece. *Bittersweet: Don't pressure yourself to a dead-set deadline. I know, you want to get this project out eventually, and if you're on a roll with development then all the power to you, but if you're struggling, don't let it burn you out. That's just unhealthy.
Question from last month's featured dev @toxicshroomswamp: How do you feel about your main character(s)? What piece of life advice would you give them? *Lev: I love my main characters, I love them like my own children. I would probably tell Robin that she'll learn to handle everything, it won't be so scary forever. I'd tell Jay that stopping for a minute and thinking is way more important than it seems. I'd tell Sarcastic ghost to shut up.
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We mods would like to thank Lev, Kip, Rose, Tredlocity, C, and Bittersweet for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!
Remember to check out Ghost Hospital if you haven’t already! See you next month! 
- Mods Gold & Platinum
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sureuncertainty · 2 years ago
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here’s a condensed version of my previous post to pin to my blog!
personal update: i’m a system! i’ve known this for quite some time now but haven’t been able to be super open about it for a LOT of reasons. however we’ve become more comfortable talking about it and i’ve decided to open up about it on here bc this is something that is a (obviously) big part of our life
if you’re not aware, essentially plurality itself, aka multiplicity, being a system, etc. means multiple people sharing a body! specifically i think we have some form of OSDD, a dissociative disorder, but that’s not the only way to be plural by a long shot. it’s a HUGE range of experiences and no two systems are fully alike
as for what this means for us and our blog, here are some things about our system we’d like you all to know:
- we don’t REALLY have a system name (we kinda go by Rain but that’s still a placeholder) but will answer to whatever. Win works for all of us as well. Percy, myself (the one writing this) am pretty much always fronting at any given time
- i use i/me pronouns a lot too bc it’s easier and more comfortable, especially since i’m basically always around. sometimes we mean it in a collective sense (which yes i know is not grammatically correct but whatever we can do what we want)
- most of our system members are, as you might have already guessed, introjects of my OCs. any OC that I’ve spent any amount of time rambling about on here most likely exists as a fully formed person in our system and are the main headmates who I interact with on a daily basis
- we also have some fictives (introjects of fictional characters) of characters that are not OCs but none of them are currently active in our system
- our frequent fronters (headmates that are around a lot or at least often enough that you’ve probably interacted with them at least a bit if we’re friends) include me, Percy, my bestie Avery (fronting a LOT of the time, we’re basically cohosts at this point), Nyx, Kat, Roma, Emma, and Angel! (and more of our characters, but those are the most actively involved in our day to day life)
- feel free to say hi to any of my headmates if you’d like! in fact, we’d all love that!! we’re not very out as plural so it’s nice to have more people see us as who we really are, instead of just as characters who don’t really exist. it also helps us with distinguishing between ourselves bc we get hella blurry sometimes. Just keep in mind that they are not just characters but real actual people with their own thoughts, feelings, likes, dislikes, personalities, etc, and even though you might “know” them from reading things I’ve posted here about them, they don’t necessarily know you (although they might know who you are if we’re friends, especially if i know you irl)
if we are friends/mutuals, always feel free to DM me if you’d like to talk about it more or have questions. in fact, I’d welcome that, since for my friends/mutuals i’d love to chat about it more, i don’t get to talk about this part of my life very much at all but i genuinely love to talk about it!
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mjwatson · 7 years ago
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who is michelle supposed to be? people were saying she's mj then they say she's not mj when I thought she was michelle gonzales? Haha
ok, i still get constant messages abt this and i stopped replying to them, but i think i am just gonna reply with a long, girthy answer so i can stick it in my FAQ so i can redirect people to it.
so prepare yourself with a long ass response!
zendaya was one of the first people to be cast in spider-man homecoming, so we knew that either she would play a big part in the films, or she’s just a big star and marvel wanted to create hype.
she was announced to be playing a character named michelle, and people were a bit confused because nobody really of importance in the comics is named that.
then it took someone to dig around the comics and find a ‘michele gonzales’ from the comics. but she was a very minor, insignificant character that peter knew in college. but because it’s the internet, that theory blew up everywhere, and then a lot of people and news sites took that to be fact rather than speculation. 
the michele from the comic books only had one L in her name, and she was a latina character. they wouldn’t cast a black woman for a latina role, cause woc aren’t interchangeable. she never was intended to be gonzalez, that was just a theory, but unfortunately people are still confused even after the movie has been out.
about 8 months later after z was cast, a news site released an article stating that her character will be mary jane watson, despite it being announced that zendaya would be playing a michelle.
that news article wasn’t the most reliable source, as they had also reported the asa butterfield was cast as the new spider-man way back when that was still happening. but again, people took that as fact rather than a news site wanting views.
when we finally saw some set pics, we saw how zendaya had brown hair and drabby clothes when she was in character, so i kind of wrote of her being MJ. it was a long shoot, let’s just say that, for MJ fans, speculating if she was or wasn’t haha. at first i didn’t want her to be, because MJ is my absolute favourite character, and ‘michelle’s’ look, and the descriptions of her character (zendaya constantly said she’s a nerd, has no friends, awkward, etc) was nothing like my favourite character.
but as time went on i started warming up to the idea because, nobody in their adulthood is who they were in highschool anymore. so i was completely fine if they decided to do a fresh take on mary jane, and show her become the character we always knew and loved. eventually get the red hair, step out of her shell, etc. my only thing was, the name ‘michelle’ needs to be fake. a placeholder. because i can’t have them changing my favourite characters name as well. that’s just one too many changes for me.
then when the movie was a few weeks from being out, press tours started, and zendaya, tom, jon, literally everyone constantly said that zendaya is not playing mary jane watson. they were so adamant about it and kind of got frustrated, because instead of answering questions about her character, zendaya just constantly had to fight off those rumours.
finally, the movie comes out.
every time i see zendaya’s character i laugh. literally. she was the best part about that entire movie besides tom. but then somebody in the movie called her michelle and i was like NOOOOOOOOOO. i wanted her to be mary jane so bad at this point.
then at the end of the film, ‘michelle’ says “my friends call me MJ.”
everyone is like……….?????????????????? wat.
(you can read my entire review of the movie when i first got out of the theater here if you’d like).
so anyways, after that, people were like, is she mary jane? is she not? what is happening.
a lot of people who don’t really care about mary jane watson as a character were all for it, because zendaya is so loveable that they just welcomed the new character, even if it was on the back of another one. i don’t blame them. if a character i wasn’t invested in changed dramatically, i’d just be like, k cool.
but unfortunately a lot of mary jane watson fans wereupset, me included. i finally got to a point where i accepted all the changes they were gonna make with mary jane watson, with the hopes that throughout the films, we got to see the classic MJ grow more and more. but the name thing was the only thing holding me back. her entire character, and then her entire name being different was just�� not sitting well with me.
also let me just put this rumour to bed too: michelle’s last name isn’t ‘jones’. i keep seeing ‘michelle jones’ everywhere, people thinking it’s canon, news sites reporting it, but nowhere has it ever been announced ‘jones’ is her last name. that was just yet another rumour started by the internet. the end credits in homecoming even just said ‘michelle’ with no last name. at this point, michelle doesn’t have one yet.
then not even 12 hours after the film was out, kevin feige made a statement saying that, michelle is not meant to be mary jane watson or MJ, and that, that line in the movie was nothing more of a homage to the character.
which leads us to the present. we don’t know who the fuck michelle is, or what the hell is happening lol.
and i doubt we will know anything until the next movie, because marvel and sony like to keep everything so annoyingly secret to the point where it’s not enjoyable. that’s the answer though. we don’t know who zendaya is. marvel had said time and time again that michelle isn’t MJ, and that she’s just an original character. but marvel has lied SO many times, so i don’t know whether or not to believe them on this. they would have HAD to know calling her ‘MJ’ would spark confusion, and people wouldn’t be like “AW COOL TRIBUTE TO ANOTHER ICONIC, ESSENTIAL CHARACTER”????
if you want my two cents, which i know you didn’t ask for but i am gonna use this ask as an umbrella ask to just show people who ask me about this topic bc i am tired of answering it so many times lol
i want zendaya to be mary jane watson so badly. at this point, i literally can’t envision anybody else playing the character or doing her justice. i have grown to love zendaya so much as i started following her throughout this entire casting process/filming/press tour/etc. she is one of my favourite actresses and she’s honestly just mary jane through n through. 
i just… can’t wrap my head around the michelle thing, if she’s going to be MJ still. i’m not sure if i will ever come to terms with that. that’s just altering my favourite character too much. so i am still holding onto hope that some weird ‘oh btw i’m not michelle, i’m actually mary jane’ moment happens, though i know that’s unlikely. 
the more likely scenario is that she isn’t MJ at all, and just an original character, or that they’re combining an original character and mary jane together to make a hybrid character, which would break my heart lol.
anyways. this is so incredibly long, i warned you. if you’ve read up until now you’re a trooper, i love you, and you should give this a like to let me know if you did. 😊
you should also send me a direct message about your theories on the character. i would love to chat with you!
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redscbdoils · 5 years ago
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qzwrites · 6 years ago
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some backstory for maeta of the artisan caste, with...some placeholder names bc i live in hope of more dwarf canon to base names off of
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Part of living in Orzammar was an arranged marriage. That was the one thing dusters got; a love match, assuming they could find anyone they could stand. Or trust.
Maeta's arranged marriage wasn't too bad. It was technically marrying up for her and her family, though like many other artisan caste dwarves, she didn't really think smith caste deserved to be higher. Other artisans did the exact same things, but somehow when it's in metal, it's more important? If you have to heat it up, it's smithing instead of artisanship? It was nugshit.
Her husband agreed with her, which was shocking. He was a nice guy. He agreed that it was ridiculous that her embroidery was valued less than etching or tooling, when she had to put just as much thought into it. He wasn't actually too great with the design part of things, being a more practical sort, so he asked her opinion on things, and sometimes had her design embellishments for him to use.
And he didn't mind that she was not even a little interested in him, physically. That was a huge relief, to be honest. A lot of arranged marriages didn't even bother with the wedding night ideal, because who can just fuck a near total stranger, and he kept not pressuring her or saying anything, and being a good guy, so eventually, a few weeks in, she told him straight up that she had never and probably would never be interested in a man. He said okay, and that was a load off his mind. Apparently, he'd never been that interested in the idea of sex at all, and he'd been worried she would like, demand her marital rights.
He was a good guy, and Maeta missed him. If it had just been the two of them, she definitely could have been happy, living with him and working with him and telling him about her dates.
But their families, and really, all the upper castes, were feeling the pressure from the gradual population loss, and constantly worrying about maintaining their numbers, and quelling potential rebellions from the casteless, and both sets of their parents wanted Maeta and [husband] to have children.
Maeta wouldn't have minded having children. She wouldn't have minded raising children with him.
She did, however, object to the way that had to happen, ie, having sex neither of them really wanted to have. He did too, so like, that worked out. He put off his parents, and she put off her parents, and presumably they made their excuses to their friends, and it was uncomfortable, but they were fine, mostly.
Except Orzammar wasn't that big a place, really, and Maeta's girlfriend found out about it.
Maeta's girlfriend (or mistress, really, let's be honest--though [girlfriend] wasn't fond of that description) was smith caste, like Maeta's husband. She actually did most of the design work for [husband]'s forge, though like, the big picture design work, silhouette and materials, not so much the embellishment things Maeta sometimes helped [husband] with. That was how they met, and that was part of the reason it wasn't weird for them to spend so much time together.
But it meant that [girlfriend] was also facing an arranged marriage, preferably up-caste, though possibly not, since nobles didn't like working smith caste women as much as they liked more decorative women of any caste. And it meant that she heard about how Maeta and [husband] were putting their parents off about children.
One day, Maeta went to see her, and instead of a kiss, she got a turned back and, "Maeta, I can't do this anymore." And then a lecture about duties to caste, and Orzammar, and the dwarven people, and like, where the hell had that come from? It was one thing to think there was too much pressure, or that you didn't want to deal with drama and sneaking around, that made sense, Maeta could have accepted that. But all this shit about the honor and duty of marriage? Of, what, pumping out babies to send into the Deep Roads to die? Because that's what the population problem was, that's why they were worried about the casteless and the commoners rebelling, because they were hemorrhaging warrior caste boys and Legionnaires of all castes, that was part of the reason upcaste marriages were more common than they used to be; people had to move up and make more dwarves to keep Orzammar running.
That sounded unpleasant as well as pointless. And Orzammar wasn't always a picnic anyway, with all the nosy aunts and uncles and nobles and noblehunters.
Maeta went home to [husband] and he said, "That's too bad, but maybe she has a point." Maybe she had a point. Yeah, maybe they should both be uncomfortable and bring another smith caste baby into the world, to maybe survive long enough to see its own children sent to die, or overrun by Darkspawn.
Maeta's girlfriend dumped her, and then she went home and got into the biggest fight with her husband she'd ever had.
Three days later, she walked through the Hall of Heroes and out into the Surface.
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