#because he doesnt really have anyone else that he can trust to keep him safe in the game. lets blow three people up scar lets blow up our

[moon1ee]

its so sad that im the only one who understands 3l desert duo

[i-cant-sing]

Platonic Yandere Gojo with sister reader is also plaguing my mind. Just the absolute control he has over her life because he is the most powerful being in the universe, so everyone must listen to him if they want to live. If Gojo tells his clan to lock you in your room, they do. They don't even ask questions, don't bat an eye when you cry and beg to be let out. No, they stand outside and wait for their next command. If Gojo tells them to get rid of so and so person because they looked at you for a second too long, the clan does it with efficiency. If Gojo tells them to make sure you drink enough water, it doesn't matter if you're hydrated, the clan will make sure to hold you down and unintentionally waterboard you as they make sure you drink.

No one is allowed to talk to you, interact with you, not even smile at you unless Gojo tells them. Its all a part of his plan- to isolate you in every way possible until you start becoming insecure and feel like an alien, and then when dear old brother Gojo comes to visit you, you all but wrap yourself around him and practically beg for his attention.

You have an s/o? Maybe he's some poor servant of the clan who fell in love with you and starts dating you secretly. Boy, he was dead meat the moment he had thought of you romantically. But this time, Gojo brings you out to the backyard with him to see how he tortures your s/o to death, holding you tightly when you struggle against him. He knows its cruel, far too gore for your pure mind to see, but he must force you to watch if he wants the lesson to stick.

Never go against ni-chaan's orders.

Big brother Gojo who forbids you from leaving the estate unless he permits you to leave with his most trusted servants or with him. He just wants to keep you safe and allow you to have fun under his watchful gaze. Big brother Gojo who has strictly told you to never use your cursed energy, especially not without him? He says its because he doesnt want you or anyone else to get hurt, but its really because he doesnt want you to be able to leave him.

You try to run away from him, try to leave to country? Hell, Gojo has you on a no flight list, and he even has people at the airport holding you in a room as they wait for Gojo to come and collect you. You can go along with him crying and screaming as he drags you out and make a fool of yourself or you can go quietly as he brings you to his chest, thanking the officers for keeping you safe. Either way, no one will come to your rescue.

The sooner you realise that there is no escaping from him, that he is your only knight in shining armour, your captor and your protector, the only one worthy of your attention, the only person who will give you his attention and love, the only one who will hug you and wipe away the tears (even if he was the who made them spill), the better it will be for your sake (and everyone else's). He may have locked you in your room, chained you up and yes, he will be a jerk to you as most brothers usually are, but once you give up and apologise (you dont know what for, but u apologise), Gojo will free you and let you cling to his arms, shushing you as he allows you to stain his clothes with tears and snot, telling you that he's oh so proud of you for finally coming to your senses and realising your mistake.

"Y/n, shh its okay now. Stop crying, cmon. You know I'm not mad at you. No, you're my little sister. I only have your best interests in mind. I'm the only one who loves you, Y/n."

But while the idea of Gojo not allowing you to date is delicious, what is more intriguing than Gojo trying to set you up with Megumi, a child who he raised/groomed and sweet boy Megumi also has yandere tendencies for you. So, Gojo brings you to Jujutsu High with him so that you can fall in love with his protege Megumi.

You however must be blind because you fall for himbo boy Yuji instead and honestly, a little bit for Sukuna too.

Gojo is just trying not combust into flames, even if he's smiling as he beckons you to come with him (abd away from Yuji). Megumi is just trying not have a meltdown and kill his bff Yuji in jealousy but he forgets all about that when you ask if he'll join you and Gojo for lunch?

Oomph imagine Gojo's reaction when he sees you kiss Yuji for the first time, and you and Yuji remain unaware of Sukuna sticking his tongue out from Yuji's cheek and mocking Gojo. Like unhinged Gojo appears way earlier than he was supposed to, ripping Yuji off you and blasting him off while dragging you to your room to lock you away and its actually more for your safety than his because Gojo is trying very hard to not actually harm you. He needs to blow off steam and what better way than to make Yuji allow Sukuna to take over his body and fight him. And now its upto Megumi to hold back Gojo and stop him from killing his best friend, but perhaps... Megumi could hold that off for a bit so that he could console you. I mean, he needs to be there physically to wipe your tears away. He could always wipe off the blood later... if Yuji's still alive.

Yeah, Gojo wont kill him. Maybe.

[spatio-rift]

the only part of the karin filler episode that i strongly disagree with is what her life was like in oto. in my opinion the episode focuses too much on her healing abilities which wasnt why orochimaru valued her at all. its something kusa horribly took advantage of because they didnt see karin as a person but orochimaru had no need for that when he already had kabuto. karins sensory abilities are much more valuable to him since only one of her can guard an entire prison (efficient). which is why she was the warden of the southern hideout.

and that responsibility implies a certain level of trust. we know karin doesnt Fear orochimaru the way suigetsu does, so i really dont think she was treated the same way she was in kusa. and i do really believe orochimaru keeps his promises to an extent. he is genuinely charismatic and a LOT of people worked under him willingly. so other than some early testing to understand this ability that would have been explained to her and that she would have given consent to*, i really do believe he would have kept his promise to not let anyone else touch her and give her a safe place to exist in.

now of course we also know karin is not that loyal to orochimaru. that kind of background and protection from him could be enough for her to worship him the way kimimaro does. but well ultimately karin is just not that important to orochimaru that he would put on as much of a show for her as he did for kimimaro. and we cant forget that 1) orochimarus chakra is crazy disgusting and oppressive, and thats the first thing karin feels. its how she identifies people. no matter how good he could be to her she knows instinctively that his true nature is completely wicked, so it would be hard to truly let down her guard around someone like that, and 2) he did very much involve her in human experiments lol. she is not into that stuff like kabuto is. its traumatizing. that kind of thing sours a relationship pretty quickly.

all in all. i just think its nuanced. oto isnt just "prisoner going through hell" and "loyal followers who worship orochimaru like a god and see him as a savior and parent". shes just one of the many people in oto who are there to survive. i think its a choice everyone in oto who isnt blinded by orochimarus charisma (or into the whole vibe) makes at some point. to turn a blind eye to everything going on there and not make waves for their own safety or personal gain. to participate in it because outside would be worse, or they dont want it to happen to them

[tulipanthousa]

tell us about the unwritten au 👀

okay, full disclosure, this will never be written. i have no intention of ever doing so. if someone else is willing to take a crack at it be my guest but this would be too much for me to handle

so, here it is

Content Warnings: angst, RAPE (<- read this. the dove is dead. do not pass go do not collect $200. youve been warned) both directly and via proxy, and other kinds of sexual coercion

LAOFT RELAMP but at what cost

In main story laoft, durant does not see roman and remy's dalliances as important or a threat to him/his control over roman.

in this story. he does

in an agonizing display of cruelty, he kidnaps remy and presents him to night roman as a gift.

its a terrible position - roman cant reject the gift and risk durants anger, which will end in disaster for both him and remy... but niether can he accept it and walk back into his day life with the knowledge that remy will remain here, trapped, alone with durant, and impossibly far away from anything roman can do to protect him

Roman takes the only path he can find - feign gratefulness so deep that he no longer had need of his day left, and giving it up. because at least if theyre both trapped remy's not alone.

Remy and Roman disappear the same night, stolen from their beds without a sound or a trace left behind.

In wickhills, Logan is incandescent with fury and patton cries so miserably the woods and hills around his house are bone-dead silent. not even the birds want to sing in his presence.

May sits alone in her house, the door locked, refusing to answer for anyone.

The Adams' put up posters across all of southeast ohio knowing nobody is going to call

And emile watches them all and churns with guilt because he didnt know remy, not really, so why does he think he has a right to be this sad?

Back in faerieland, things escalate in a bad way very quickly. Durant coerces Roman and Remy into increasingly intense sexual scenarios for his entertainment.

in the midst of this, having only one other person you can rely on or trust can, coupled with the rapid increase in intimacy, cross the wires a bit, and wwhoops, Remy and roman are in love now

Remy: or whatever passes for love in this shitshow Roman: you dont get to tell me i dont really love you Remy, crying: ok

and tbh, all of this is more of just context for what im ACTUALLY interested which is

they get out. now what?

Because in the meantime, Emile has reached out to patton, we still have LAMP and remile, and now we have pair-of-cats-that-cant-be-separated creativisleep

Logan: you thought canon logan had anger issues? ha. ha i say. this logan would kill a man sooner than let them make roman or remy even slightly uncomfortable. he'll snarled at his own mother if she gets too close. he'll snarl at thomas, though he'll feel bad about both. this is actually! not great! because logan tried to guard from the outside looks a lot like Guards Keeping Us Inside to remy and roman, so they have to figure out how to navigate logans nuclear reactor protectiveness vs it wigging roman and remy out.

Virgil: Virgil waking up is the catalyst for them getting free, and in the midst of his horror falls in QP love at first sight with remy, who was so brave and so strong and kept roman safe when virgil couldnt.

Remy: i dont know if 'safe' is even slihtly accurate Virgil: the safety of his heart and mind are of equal importance to me as his body. you have cherished both, and you can have anything you ask for as long as i live Remy: [gay fluster noises]

Patton keeps determinedly dragging emile to mays house (where they are holed up for close access to dizzy and jax) even though Emile feels like he's intruding

Patton, constantly on the verge of tears: I almost lost Roman and i've decided im in love with all of you and i CATEGORICALLY refuse to lose anyone else Emile: um Patton: RE. FUSE.

so pattons HOPE is that they all wind up in a big polycule pile, and its doesnt... not do that, but its not quite as clearcut as all that.

Theres stumbling blocks at the beginning withboth remy and roman wavering on whether or not their romantic feelings are genuine, and subsequently wondering if the fact that theeyre still in love with Emile and LAM respectively means that they arent.

this would go through some oscillations of both of them trying to deny those feelings to "prove" their love for each other, vs trying to push the other away so they can go be with p[eople they "really love"

do! not! separate them!

in my head this ends with romantic LAMP, Romantic Remile, Romantic Patmile, and QPR losleep and sleepxiety - everybody else is friends and cuddle buddies

Remy is actually super comforted by the fact that Patton is in love with him/attracted to him but never asks for more than friendship because he knows remy isnt. Metamour besties.

Dizzy suffers a lot from this ordeal (she hid from durant and subsequently roman, knowing if he found her as romans familiar it would be catastrophic) so their bond is.... stretched, lets say. overtaxed. she's a little sicklier. a little smaller, a little more timid. hides in remy or virgils jackets frequently

All of which is to say that this is a fraught extended metaphor that sometimes trauma changes you, and it changes your relationships, and it changes the way you feel attraction, and all of that is okay. it doesnt make those feelings or relationships less real or loving or valid.

anyway this is my monster. im not going to write it (please dont ask) but some people have expressed that they were glad i still shared it, so have some bite sized angst

[whumpbug]

i accidentally clicked unfollow in my tumblr dash and I felt so bad I immediately ran here to give you more prompts for your sillies. your boys.

FIRST OF ALL we talked about my guys and your guys meeting but What About Your Guys Meeting Your Guys. what do Cassidy and Gene think of Simon and Archie??? vice versa???

also THIS OR THATS because it's so fun to think about:

For Simon, cat person or dog person? (or secret third answer?)

For Archie, big city or beach day?

For Gene, teleportation or flight powers?

For Cassidy, past, present or future?

anyway i wait with bated breath so excited to see your stuff!!!! every fill you enter is so good. i'm so hyped!!!!

OMG SETH i was wondering about that BUT I'M SO GLAD U ARE ASKING QUESTIONS YIPPEE!!! THESE ARE SOOO GOOD (≧▽≦)

(also i'm sorry this took so long i got busy but i am NO LONGER)

long post incoming as always:

OKAY i wasn't totally sure how to break this down but i'm going to go Guy by Guy and hopefeully this makes sense. we'll start with this freak.

simon:

about gene: hes apprehensive about him at first, as he is with anyone who Talks to archie, but i think he comes to really like him. gene just oozes respectable older brother energy and i think simon is drawn to that. much like jj, something about gene makes him feel like a kid again, in the sense that someone else, someone older and more mature can Deal with things and simon can just kind of breathe.

about cassidy: he does not like this man. naturally, of course. cassidy is an outlaw, he's killed and robbed and hurt and simon doesn't care waht kind of "moral code" he's following, he doesn't want him in his home. still, i feel like simon can sense that a lot of cassidy's demeanor is a front. he sees all the PTSD signs and trauma responses. he knows cassidy has gone through awful things, but that doesn't make him less dangerous. if anything, it makes him more unpredictable.

archie:

about gene: BIG BROTHER!!! i think the consensus about gene to everyone is just. gene is their responsible big brother. archie thinks he's really cool and he likes calliope too. i think gene is intimidating at first, but archie sees right through it. growing up how he did, he's learned to clock when people are actually malicious and he never got that from gene. he always knew he was kind and soft under his exterior

about cassidy: he thinks cassidy is so fun. like with gene, he doesn't sense any malice in him. archie knows full well what kind of things cassidy has done, but his intuition tells him theres more to it. archie is a very forgiving person (maybe to a fault) but he knows cassidy isn't a bad person. i think he and cassidy would have a lot of fun. he would take horse riding lessons and ask all about his jewelry and overall just make cassidy feel more like a Person. archie tends to have that effect on people.

gene:

about simon: right away, he clocks that simon works way too hard for someone his age. he's surprised he doesnt have gray hairs at the ripe age of 23. still, he appreciates what he does. he knows what it's like to have someone close to you constantly throwing themselves into dangerous situations for the sake of others and he sympathizes with the toll it takes on simon. if he's able to bear just a little bit of that burden, he'd be more than happy to.

about archie: his unrelenting enthusiasm is. sometimes unnerving. but still, he thinks he's a really cool kid regardless. he likes what archie does-- working behind the scenes to keep people safe. even if it's technically illegal, gene finds it admirable. he just. he loves how pure archie's heart is. it triggers something almost parental in him. he understands why simon is so deeply protective of him. archie is not the kind of person you come across often.

cassidy:

about simon: at first, he sees simon like a mini gene. cold, calculated, and cautious and of course, he understands it. he's a criminal, after all. hell, he doesn't trust himself! but after spending some more time with simon, i feel like he comes to appreciate what he does like most people do. and i also feel like he can sense simon reading him like a book and that makes him Deeply Uncomfortable. for both of their sakes, he repects him from a healthy distance. he would be lying if he said simon's disdain for him didn't hurt a little bit, though.

about archie: if gene is the responsible older brother, cassidy is the crazy fun one. he loves archie's energy and loves to get into trouble with him (and prank gene of course) and it just makes him feel so free. he didn't have a very good childhood so being with archie almost feels like a remedy for that where he can just have fun without worrying when montana is going to find out and berate him for it. and, again, he feels especially protective of archie. he sees his innocence and pure heart. he wants to do anything he can to preserve it, since he wasn't able to do that for himself.

✮⋆˙

for simon: cat or dog person?

see, you'd think cat person. because simon is cat-coded. BUT NO! he actually prefers dogs because of how loyal and energetic they are. he had a big great dane when he was a kid and he LOVESSS big dogs. the only reason he doesn't have one is because he lives in a tiny apartment BUT. one day he will. he shall get his dog.

for archie: big city or beach day?

similar to the stars vs sun question, archie LOVES the sun. it's gotta be the beach. he also LOVES to swim and will literally just spend hours in the ocean floating in the waves and looking for cool shells (to bring back to simon, who is calmly reading under an umbrella, of course). he already spends day and night in the city, the beach is a welcome change of pace

for gene: teleportation or flight powers?

hmmm. for this one i'm going to say teleportation. gene is a busy man, and he has most definitely thought of what it would be like to be able to be everywhere at once. plus, it would make it a hell of a lot easier to catch criminals (cough cassidy cough) and would honestly just be kind of fun. one could argue that all of the above applies to flying too, BUT i think the thought of being so high up in the air with no structure beneath him makes him... uncomfy.

for cassidy: past, present, or future?

THIS IS EVIL AND I LOVE IT.

it has to be present. 100% present.

the past is something cassidy thinks about the least amount possible. he deeply DEEPLY regrets things he's done, not to mention the copious amounts of trauma this man has gone through. if he pretends none of it happens, it makes living with it just a little easier. (no cassidy. don't do that.)

the future also deeply frightens him. in his line of work, there isn't exactly a good track record for,, being Alive. he's lost many friends in shootouts and to the gallows, and every day he lives in fear that he won't make it to the next.

the present is just the happy middle. he takes life one step at a time. if he doesn't, he isn't sure how he could go on. he finds value in focusing on the now, not on what did and could happen. is it healthy? no. but is it something he does to survive? absolutely.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE QUESTIONS SETH THESE WERRE ESPECIALLY FUN TO ANSWER!!!! i'm sorry if my responses are a bit convoluted, i'm a bit Frazzled right now but these were too good to wait on so here you go!!!! always a pleasure to see you in my ask box!!!!

[fenikorg-talks]

jujutsu kaisen chs 235,236 spoliers!

no but like i truly believe he actually forgot a chapter

you cant tell me otherwise why the heck in chapter 235 gojo was winning and then in ch 236 out of NOWHERE he's in heaven. it doesn't make any fucking sense

this is how 235 ends:

gojo just released purple on sukuna destroying everything in its path, including himself, he healing slowly but steady, and sukuna on the verge of death, without a single hope of winning. everyone else is so sure that gojo won that they arent doubting the fight, they have 100% trust that gojo already won, without any but's or if's.

and THEN 236 starts like this:

at first i thought it was a memory, but then gojo brings up the comment that dying was something to do alone, and I thought it was an hallucination or something like that, but then EVERY SINGLE DEAD PERSON THAT WAS CLOSE TO GOJO started to appear telling him that it was just damn time for him to finally die. Then gojo brings up the bullshit that he didn't do anything to protect the others, that he only did it for fun, to not be bored anymore, to finally fight with an opponent without holding back because he was the strongest and blah blah blah and I was certain it was bullshit. that man right there wasn't gojo it was someone else and gege was trying to get us off balance, something like a distorted reality or mixed thoughts that arent quite true and all that, but then they throw me this on the face:

and we dont fucking know what shit happened. think about it: gojo's winning, sukuna almost dies, there's a very suspicious scene on the airport with teen gojo and everyone who he cared in his teenage years, and now he's dead, half body lying on the ground with a smirking sukuna declaring how the hell he won the match. IT DOESNT MAKE FUCKING SENSE. WERE WAS THE BATTLE? WERE WAS THE ACTION? WERE WAS EVERYONE ELSE COMMENTING THE SHIT THAT WAS HAPPENING? alright, it might have been a surprise attack, BUT WITH WHAT FUNDAMENTS DID SUKUNA ATTACKED??? there are too many plotholes in just these fifteen pages alone and I need answers. there is no need for a great explanation, I just needed a one single panel with the worried expressions of everyone who was watching, screaming even, for gojo who was in danger. if it was really a sneak attack and gojo couldn't see it, at least everyone else did, but noooooo they just showed us maki and yuta holding back themselves from literally murdering sukuna, and that was during sukuna's speech. where was higuruma's, yuji's, hakari's, miwa's, hajime's, ANYONE'S REACTION. JUST ONE WAS ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING BAD WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.

another thing that had been bugging me: sukuna was fucking dyyiiing how the fuck did he healed himself if he didn't have enough cursed energyyyy reallyyy this is fucking insaaneeee, there are tooooo many plothollesss I insist. And then there's that, fucking piece of information, that sukuna "was holding back".... my dude, he was LOSING. i don't know if it just came to gege's mind that, "oh i hate gojo so much i cant keep writing this fight its giving me nausea, i know, lets fucking kill him so i don't have to see him again, yey!" ...... I'm sorry that's not how gege thinks. he may hate gojo but he KNOWS he's important for the story, otherwise he would have him gone a looooong time ago, i mean have you seen all the bullshit sad backstories he gives to this man?? the divorce?? the fushiguros???? yuta and mika????? itadori??????? shoko, utahime, masamichi, the elders??????? the DEPT that this man carries???? gege might hate gojo, but lets not forget that he is a well written character. and that also makes me overthink a little about the very first chapters of the manga, when yuji asks gojo if he can defeat sukuna, AND JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK HE RESPONDS??

EXACTLY!! HE WOULD WIN! so that was a fucking lie, gojo was keeping yuji safe from wondering, or gege is planning something sick (there's also the option of gege just forgetting it, but for the sake of my mental health I wont elaborate on that) there are still things I do not understand and I NEED gege to explain.

also, there is this things that keeps coming to my head: sukuna isn't the type of sorcerer to brag about his power, like gojo did before, he releases his power when he needs it, and with the cards he's given. with itadori he couldn't do much because yuji could control him so the little things he did was due to the circumstances, like when yuji asked for help, he didn't want to help but the curse wanted to fight so sukuna killed the curse, then he ASKS YUJI TO RETURN TO THE CONTROL like damn that man has matters. and then, when jogo makes yuji eat the other ten fingers, he's overpower and starts to do whatever he wants because he has been in yuji's control way too much, and after he defeats jogo, who willingly wanted to fight sukuna, he literally gives yuji the control of the body again. it might be to lower yuji's motivations but still, he took advantage of the momentum to move on with his plan. another time he took the opportunity was when yuji died and made the contract that allowed him in the shibuya incident take control of fushiguro's body. this guy is smart, and he doesn't waste opportunities, so I can see him winning the battle. we all know by now that he did in fact won the battle, but we don't know with what kind of plan or tricks did he do it. i still don't buy the thing with mahoraga

i feel like it's something else, something is missing, then again there isn't enough information, probably lost on the chapter gege forgot to release.

THE FACT THAT THIS MOMENT ALONE MADE ME SCREAM INTO THE VOID. and it wasn't because gojo was dead, neither because sukuna gave him the credit he deserved, NO, its because gojo's smiling, he's FUCKING SMILING. that man doesn't want to fight anymore, its written all over the page, that man is tired, satisfied, and is hallucinating. and the fact that I can see that is what makes me scream. WHAT ABOUT FUSHIGURO MAN, ARE YOU JUST GONNA LET HIM DIE IN THE PIT OF DARKNESS HE'S IN?!! WHAT ABOUT THE PROMISE BRO WTF I know you didn't like Toji, but you got way too close with the kid you wanted to protect him you wanted him to live DUDE. he's just gonna leave all the work to the others, he wants to rest, he doesn't want to do anything with curses or sorcerers or anything like that, he will LEAVE them alone helpless because gojo was their last hope he was the strongest the only one who could win against the king of curses damn it aaaallll.

and THAT just makes me think... what are the others thinking? the only reactions we got from the last chapter were from maki, yuta, yuji and hajime, and they're veeeeery different

LOOK VERY CLOSELY TO THEM

yuta is fucking angry and worried and obviously scared, but still grabs his katana so anxious as he wants to go to the battlefield. maki is holding him back, with a more steady and severe expression, because she knows they cant defeat sukuna. the background around them is dark and still meaning they're still in the same place, holding back and waiting for the next move. yuji's expression is fucking scared, he's worried and he's sweating, and I'm certain he's trying not to cry, his background is moving which can mean he's moving to the battlefield even if he knows he's going to die, no one is holding him back which can mean either they are letting him go (such a shitty friends really) or haven't noticed he's gone. and hajime Is already IN the battlefield. that slash that cut gojo in two had enough time for him to move from wherever they were into the battlefield and he's EXCITED HE'S SMILING LIKE THE FUCKING IDIOT HE IS idk if he will be able to win against sukuna given the fact that he literally killed gojo, but oh well...

this is madness, i need the forgotten chapter

let me know about other things you notice too pleasssseeee

this also gave me A LOT of things to think about, like what will happen with itadori and his powers and all the rage he has and all the dead people he has seen and... well, all the tragedy

i might as well post something about itadori, we'll see

[manchineel-mistress]

in honor of our favorite 33 to 100000+ year old unemployed terrorist’s birthday (korean time), i present to you: puzzleshipping time loop au where yami yuugi gets worse instead of better from s0.

ok so we all know that the Gang(TM) got through some shit throughout the story, where they are pretty close to dying. a lot.

how consider, instead of making it through barely, they dont. (gets shot multiple times-)

ok but more specifically yuugi dies from the strain of shadow games and stress or a mishap in those games. and yami PANICS HE PANICS SO HARD PRAYING TO EVERY GOD THAT YUUGI DIDNT DIE AND THEN THE MAGIC OF THE PUZZLE ACTIVATES AND YAMI IS BACK IN TIME AND SAVES YUUGI and everyone gets out safe and sounds and sane :)

Except It Keeps Happening. Yuugi Keeps Dying. Yami Keeps Turning Back Time.

he can get it right if he just had another chance. he wont let yuugi die again. that wont happen and they would make it to the end of their journey this time-

Yuugi Dies To A Bully. (one more chance. please. i can make this right-)

Yuugi Dies To Silfer. (no please i not like this hes my partner i cant go on without him-)

Yuugi Dies To Marik. (NO NO THIS CANNOT STAND I WONT LET IT REMAIN THIS WAY-)

yami gets more desperate, protective, and unhinged as the cast makes it through their journey. he gets jumpy, withdrawn, and snaps at anything that might seem like a threat. his already tense relationship with kaiba because more testy as he loses trust in those around him other than yuugi’s close friends. hes also more violent and harsh, not really giving up penalty games like he does in the transition to duel monsters.

yuugi is scared of yami. he never quite got over it even with his friends’ acceptance of yami. but he also knows yami is scared and he cant pinpoint why exactly other than its related to protecting him. but hes also scared to ask because what if yami snaps at him. he doesnt want yami to hurt anymore but also doesnt want him to hurt anyone else.

eventually, the continuous use of extremely taxing magic starts eroding away at both of their souls. cracks form in yami’s soul room first. stair start crumbling and doors are barely holding on. yami slowly starts losing himself and he knows it, but he also cant let yuugi die. the cracks reach yuugi’s soul room after a while. a few of the toys start showing wear, board games losing pieces, cracks in the walls. thats when yami comes clean.

its a terrifying and heartwrenching experience for both the yuugis and the rest of their friends. Yuugi has been dying. These games are dangerous and they haven’t been making it through them like they thought. the only reason why yami kept going and pursuing his memories? because yuugi keeps encouraging him to find himself and he thinks he can protect yuugi better next time. and because he thinks that once hes gone, yuugi will be safe again.

they figure it out though. they make sure yuugi stays safe. why do they keep going? because yami deserves to know who he is, and yuugi is willing to risk his life to get there. as he already had, but this time it will actually be different.

and yami learns an important lesson on friendship, learning when to ask for help, and communication. and then we have the rest of  normal canon just with yami’s major ptsd and a slower to warm yami who is still willing to burn someone to the ground in like season 4.

how does this relate to orv? idk man i just think time loop and go “omg yjh vibes fr fr” i think it would be an interesting parallel between yami and yjh, they just match in my brain for some reason. doesnt quite follow yjh’s character arc tho LOL

anyway i like angsty time loop aus as much as i like silly time loop aus. they just have so much potential. here i just wanted yami to suffer :)

anyway back to silly au ideas

[j-dlover]

i like hannibal and will because the makers of the show got it right. whether they meant for it to be interpreted that way or not. it seems like they were probably going for a twisted love story. the reality is it looks exactly like thst when you are in a relationship with someone who lacks empathy. what i see is a very clear trauma bond. trauma bonds are said to possibly be stronger than love. trauma bonds are formed when someone saves you after creating the situation.

you can actually pinpoint the place in the series where this happens. initially will is suspicious of hannibal. even seems disdainful of him or to hate him. seemingly picking up on his nature without realizing it. in order for hannibal to get inside he intentionally creates a situation where he can distract from him, prove hes good, save will, and at the same time test what will is internally and where his limits are. its actually very ingenious. this one incident gives him all of the information and emotional leverage for the whole rest of the show.

this moment is when abigail gets her throat slit and hannibal takes over, effectively saving will and earning his trust. he does work a bit afterward but he is in after that. he trauma bonded will to him intentionally, along with it serving other uses. it actually made me wonder if the creators or thomas harris had studied psychopthic relationships in relation to clarice and will. probably not, its probably just meant to mimic a romantic relationship. but it looks like they really hit the nail on the head. it feels exactly like that. severely abused ppl dont leave for this very reason. its not just fear. it feels like love. its truly insanity.

theres also a much more common and normal experience people can have of feeling like if they are evil and turn that evil outward on others, not you, they can protect you most and be the most loyal. in reality that doesnt happen but its normalish to be attracted to that. you want your monster to be scarier than every other monster so they can kill the other monsters and keep you safe. now most leave once they see that those things are always turned on the partner as well orrr they know better beforehand and stay away. not all ppl attracted to that are severely mentally ill. its why many will go for bad guys and girls even though they are normal...i mean if they know theyre bad.

hybristophiles are different. they require real transgressions and that is the actual fetish fixation.

i would say trauma bonding makes it feel as if you are one. there is little separation. you are connected in a way no one could ever understand. both good and very bad. maybe its because it makes you the most vulnerable in front of someone else. its like having a near death experience with someone else. maybe like going to war together. love doesn't do that.

so hopefully in hannibal this was intentional, but it's probably just a representation of a gay love affair and im giving them too much credit.

not that anyone gives a fuck what i think. i wish i had someone to have conversations about this stuff with. instead of talking to myself. i want to know what other people i care about think too.

[curiouskurona]

vil not knowing that deuce and epel are dating ( bc they are actively hiding it from him lol ) so he sets epel up with some famous and / or high class guy . maybe a fellow model or actor he met on set thats epel's age , or someone from a nobel / important family

obviously epel refuses , but vil insists

" you always dig your heels , but you end up having a good time , no ? just give it a chance , you might end up surprising yourself with how much you like him . if you dont want to go on a second date i wont push you " he reasons

epel doesnt know wether or not he should tell deuce about it , especially since he doesnt plan on this going past a first date anyways , however he decides that being honest and straightforward is best

deuce isnt ,, thrilled about it . but epel promises that itll only be one date , and it doesnt mean anything , and he'll be thinking of deuce tha whole tiem

deuce doesnt liek seeing epel being forced into an uncomfortable situation , but its not liek they can tell vil about them , so he kisses epels knuckles and looks him in tha eyes and says " i trust you "

" and if he tries anything funny , just call me and i'll come running " he does his Delinquient Pose™ . if it was anyone else epel would have been annoyed-- he can handle himself thank you very much-- but he knows that coming from deuce its out of comradery and care

they kiss , and epel has to go back to his dorm to get ready

the date goes well enough , but only because epel knows word will get back to vil if he's outright rude to tha guy . and its not liek tha guy has done anything wrong [yet?] , so really he shouldn't be too hard on tha poor sod . plus he probably doesnt want to make such an influential enemy

deuce is worried all evening , pacing back and forth in his room . he told epel that he trusted him , and he does . but he cant help but worry ,,

ace and grim convince him that its for tha best to go check up on epel , just to maek sure he's okay ( wether or not they know tha situation , i'll leave up to you . they purrobably figure deuce has a crush on epel , at least )

tha guy totally isnt epels type . hes snooty and self-absorbed , and epel just about threw his drink in his face wen he saw him roll his eyes at tha waitstaff ( theyre at some fancy restaurant , of course ) , but he bit his tongue and stayed in his seat . just maek it through tha night , epel ,,

tha guy lieks epel though . he mistook epel biting his tongue as being cutely shy , or perhaps elegant and demure , what a quiet and enigmatic beauty ,,

adeuce and grim can only watch from outside through a window ( lbr they arent getting in lol with what money . plus they didn't maek a reservation ) . ace n grim want to do some sitcom-y shenanagins liek pretending to be waiters to spy on tha date , but deuce holds them back

eventually tha meal is finished , and tha pair leave tha restaurant , adeuce + grim frantically scrambling out of sight . tha guy walks epel home , and tha trailing trio keep a respectable distance , popping up from bushes and trashcans liek in a cartoon

wen they get back to [ campus ? tha dorms ?? or if u want this to be an AU just back at vil n epels apartment or something . or mansion . insert location here ] tha guy tries to snag a kiss , but epel leans back and turns his face away

guy : " ah , of course-- i shouldnt rush things . i hope i didnt scare you , my delicate flower " * brushes epels hair behind his ear *

epel : * excalibur cringe *

epel has to break it to him that this was just a one tiem thing . honestly itd be easier to just ghost him but epel isnt that type . " listen , i appreciate your tiem , but i really dont think we should keep seeing eachother . get home safe , goodnight "

deuce is secretly relieved and also is watching intently . if this guy tries to give epel shit bc he got rejected ,,

theres an awkward silence but thankfully tha guy is just liek " well . i seem to have misread tha situation . good day " and speedwalks outta there w a strained smile , purrobably embarrassed . hes kind of a prick but i feel a lil bad 4 him lol awkwaaaaard

idk it was kinda hard to figure out how i wanted to end this , i could see this going many different ways and towards tha end i could feel myself spinning my wheels . id be fine if this ended @ tha 7th bullet point honestly but i wanted 2 do moar ,, im not entirely satisfied but ive got nothin bettr atm lol . i didnt rlly focus on tha concept of deuce n epel hiding their relationship from vil enough , i think

anyways . maybe tha guy cant stop thinking about epel and keeps trying for another date , sending flowers and chocolates and stuff , much to deuces displeasure . vil immediately enters protective mode n tells tha guy to back off lol . epel isnt interested so bye

or maybe tha tabloids caught pics of them and now epel is on a bunch of magazine covers . mystery date makes [ popular guy ] swoon ? vil schoenheit's protege entering tha showbiz world as a charming young bachelor ? does bruno mars is gay ?

epel and deuce spend tha next few days lounging around reading headlines to eachother and laughing about it

also cuddling a lot . bc deuce loves epel and he didnt liek seeing him w someone else and he just wants 2 b close to him

unfortunately for both of them , vil might find som other ppl to set epel up with . why lose this momentum ? epel could be tha next big thing , and there's certainly a lot of interest / suitors now

gl @ nearly everyone in this situation LOL

[mcmactictac]

Hello hello I was randomly thinking about this as I was at work and I’m finally getting a chance to write it this is gonna be a long one folks buckle up today we’re talking about the hunger games, and specifically the “love triangle”

I’ve watched/read the series throughout various points in my life and my opinions have always changed slightly as I grow older and gain more knowledge. I personally see Katniss as aro/ace, I think it makes sense for her character. I’m not really qualified to talk about that but I have seen some people in that community do a wonderful job explaining it. So with that in mind I’m looking at this through a more practical lense, who compliments her personality and needs best.

Now I have always stood by that at the very beginning of the series, Gale and Katniss made sense. They were on the same wave length, they survived off each other and made good sense. If they had actually decided to run off before the games, they would have worked. But as soon as Katniss comes back from the games, it all goes to shit. Because she’s no longer on that wavelength with Gale. He doesnt understand and he never will. And during the games Peeta was the person she “survived” off of. Yes she carried them but they were in it together for a while you know?

Now she doesn’t really trust Peeta yet. I mean yeah she likes him, she put in the effort to help him but she doesn’t have that connection she had with Gale at the start. And you have to keep in mind that the games were really not that long. Katniss and Peeta hadn’t spent that much time together before the games ended. So although they are intensely bonded out of trauma and necessity, once shes out of that situation she tries to detach. But you can’t go back to how it was before. Suddenly you’ve killed people and you almost died and you lost people and it’s intensely traumatic. Katniss never wanted to show off, it was all about practicality and survival. And you come back different than before, with the guy you spent so much time with interpreting your actions wrong. He wants conflict. He invites it for the “greater good”. Katniss really doesn’t want to cause more fighting. She has already fought enough. And Peeta is the only other person (besides Haymitch) who knows what the games are really like. And her and Peeta will always share that burden together.

Like Katniss, Peeta never wants conflict. He’s smart and he can get what he wants in other ways. Without him admitting his crush on Katniss in the first book, he likely would have died. He can get closer to what he wants without hurting people. He only volunteered in the Quarter Quell to protect Katniss, not because he wanted to go in and prove something. He fully intended to die so that she can live. He’s fiercely loyal and understands in a way no one else ever could. Even after mockingjay, at his core those qualities are still there.

Gale is a raging fire full of heat and passion, Peeta is the gentle warmth of a fireplace. Gale leads with practicality and Peeta leads more with his heart. Gale is the sharp sting of wind on a winter morning as it freezes your skin, Peeta is the warmth of natural sunlight in the summer. For a long time, Gale guaranteed safety. But after the games, that wasn’t true anymore and especially after Mockingjay with Prim. Gale is 100% responsible for that. In a war situation, it’s a good move. A really really low blow, but effective and he knew that. He spends so much time wrapped in his anger and his determination to do what’s right he loses his empathy along the way.

Katniss wants safety. She doesn’t want to fight, she doesnt want to run anymore. Gale can’t give her the stability, the safety, the comfort that she so desperately needs. But Peeta can. He’s going through the exact same thing. “Choosing” Peeta promises stability snd understanding. Not having to fight. Just enjoy the peace and simplicity. Peeta makes sense because Gale is never going to understand her. She’s always going to feel isolated around him.

Peeta understands. He’s connected to her through their history, and they grew and changed together. Gale and Katniss grew apart as Peeta and Katniss grew together. At the end of the series the only “choice” for her is Peeta because she doesn’t trust Gale anymore. He isn’t safe, he isn’t the more peaceful life she wants anymore. He evolved and wants something different, and their values don’t line up any more. Peeta provides the soft warmth and compassion she needs.

That being said she doesn’t NEED anyone. But she does a shit job taking care of her own mental health, and Peeta would be able to help her with that in ways Gale can’t. Post everything, Peeta is a better support than Gale, despite Peeta being unstable himself.

That being said I was a Gale fan the first time I read the books like years ago but the older I get the more it’s like. They’d never work. They aren’t the same people they were at the start. After Katniss comes back from the first games they were never going to work because Gale was always focused on moving the revolution aspect forward, and not on the fact Katniss was in severe mental distress.

Katniss is perfectly capable of providing for herself, but she needs someone to support her emotionally as she works through her trauma. Peeta is the only person who can do that by the end because he’s the only one who understands and that she trusts. That’s all!!

[maschotch]

This isn't about the bingo but I was looking at your post from like two days ago about Hotch being paternal with the team and I would kill to hear your opinions about the different way he's protective of all of them. I think a lot of the reason hotchniss is so popular in this fandom is because she's really the one person on this team that doesn't interact with him like a father djdj but even still the way he goes about caring for Reid and Penelope as opposed to jj and Derek is sooo interesting and I hadn't really thought about it before. I'm not sure about Rossi, but he was even super protective of Gideon, who he saw as more of a father figure

the WAYYY that he’s protective of all of them… im gonna cry writing this out i just know it 

his protectiveness of reid is the easiest to describe i think. he understands reid’s struggles and the things he deals with that not everyone thinks about, so i think that kinship helps directly with that paternal relationship. sees him a little bit as himself, a little bit as a son, but mostly for who he is. 

it’s very very similar with penelope, but instead of seeing himself in her, he sees an optimism, a joy, a vitality that he never had. he doesnt want to extinguish that, but he knows she’s stronger than she thinks. not to put this in the cringiest way possible aksjldhg but he’s protective of her like a flower? protects her from external threats but knows that he doesnt have to handle her delicately—he can be a little rough w her to help her thrive. he sees what she’s capable of even when she can’t and that scares her a little

with jj it’s a little different. i think he recognizes that jj is strong in certain ways… i think he also recognizes that jj wants to be seen as strong in certain ways. unlike reid (who i think hotch really views as emotionally young), he’s willing to be protective from a distance. he’s still attentive and ready to swoop in when something becomes too intense, but he has a little more faith and a little more respect for her independence than reid or penelope

morgan’s a little harder bc he has to be sneakier with it asjkdlhga morgan himself is so protective that accepting the same kind of care is difficult for him. it’s just easier for everyone if they both pretend hotch is completely hands off. but i think hotch realizes that if anything he needs to be more defensive of morgan—particularly his emotions/state of mind. hotch knows morgan will push himself beyond his limits and while he doesn’t want to stop him (morgan’s independence is also something hotch encourages), he wants to make sure morgan will come out in one piece lmao 

ur right in that he has a really distinct dynamic w emily. they spend so much time protecting the team that by now he trusts her ability to take care of herself. he doesnt really need to do much askjdhl she’s got it handled. i think bc more often than not she’s the one protecting him that when she suddenly is in a precarious situation, it’s harder for hotch to maintain composure. like… morgan has his back: he’ll keep him safe. but emily supports him: she’ll hold him up. so when emily ever is in danger… hotch gets a little more desperate bc he knows the situation is serious. he's more likely to go a little too far

im soooooo fucking glad you brought up gideon because hotch is more protective of gideon than anyone else. it’s a fierce, unwavering commitment. bc hotch really does see gideon as a sort of father figure (he’s also aware that there are limitations on the reciprocation of that type of relationship) but he’s also aware that while gideon is an expert in certain areas, there are also other things that he’s not so good at. hotch is more than happy to supplement when needed, and he's studied him long enough to know the man better than anyone. so that’s the “care” aspect of the protectiveness, but what makes it soo different from the others is the fervid, fiery defense that’s uncharacteristically hotheaded for hotch. like the “watch your mouth” thing… how many times do we see hotch snap like this when he’s not dealing with unsubs (or abusive fathers)?? he’s so passionate with his loyalty.. a dedication that brings that aggression right up to the surface in a way thats just so fun <3

[dyketubbo]

im rewatching doomsday (comps of all povs of course) and. yeah i just.. feel bad for the lmanburgians. i dont know how i could just. say these people deserved it, when they all sound, panicked and desperate and so so fucking sad. long long ramble under the cut as i recount the events and pick out a bunch of little things

even the day before then is painful. ranboos panic room. ranboo and tubbos talk (tubbo admitting that hes wrong, saying he believes that history is repeating itself and trusting ranboo because he believes in his loyalty), fundy showing the ring toss. tubbos surprise at being told to kill dream before stating that quackity would be in control if he didnt (god, did he plan to fail?). tommy being so so excited. everyone playing ring toss and cheering on jack. tommy still believing in tubbo. tubbo panicking. ranboo and tommy and techno talking, ranboo giving them info. dream placing walls and quackity instructing tubbo on where to kill dream. dream lying about the community house. the entire community house debacle. just, everything.

and then doomsday itself. having to frantically get there because it started early, tubbo only having diamond armor to protect him, fundy standing still after he sabotaged them. tubbo and ranboos genuine despair about the apiary.

tubbo eventually going nonverbal and actively putting himself in danger, not even moving away from techno at first and getting in the way of the firework launcher. tubbo trying to save tommy from the fireworks, ponks broken "dont come over here!" after she was trying to save his cat, tommys face falling and desperate attempts at convincing techno, ranboo going "its all gone", niki spiralling and silently burning down the tree, quackitys pure anger. all the death messages.

jack going "what is there left to protect", tommy brokenly trying to accept that its gone as tubbo and quackity blankly do accept it. jack going "i lost everything again". tommy desperately trying to understand dream, on the verge of tears as he asks why dream didnt just hurt him. his low health and food as hes unable to do anything anymore, his quiet gasp as he spots ghostbur, tubbos tiny shake of his head when dream says dream and tommys story wont be over.

tubbo and quackity breaking the repeaters. ghostburs "i didnt even know we were fighting". ghostbur finding out phil let friend die, hes pained "phil? but i- i gave, i gave phil to look after. and dream found me friend, and technoblade said we were friends", tommys pained talk about technoblade. "we were never his friend. to him, all of this was just an act of politics, an act of clout and a-a social ladder, and you won't remember. tubbo you will, and to you big q, this was a friendship. but to technoblade, this was a ladder. and techno climbed to the tippity talk. do you wanna know the only way you can go? on the ladder? -- and once you reach the top of the ladder tubbo, you can only go down."

quackity asking to sing the anthem again, him strumming as ghostbur sings (and tubbo and tommy joining in). ghostbur forgetting the second verse because it blew up. quackity remembering it, them stumbling through it. tommys "tubbo? im so so sorry", tubbos quiet "its okay." the four all singing together. tubbo looking at the lava with an ender pearl in his hand, tommy correcting quackity and going "our l'manburg". ghostburs speech about friend, about people not taking him seriously just because he has memory loss.

meanwhile.. phil and techno were laughing. cracking jokes. phil mocks them as he spawns withers on the apiary, going "ohhh noo not the bees!". techno shouts at tommy and shoots at him and tubbo. he kills jack and doesnt even notice that it was one of his lives lost. jacks death itself proves that it doesnt take any particular intent, doesnt have to mean anything to the killer. techno and phil were willing to kill people. it would be foolish of them to act as if there were no risks in the terms of canon lives, especially with phil. phil doesnt take ghostbur seriously, treats his despair as an opportunity to drill in a lesson. the most either of them lost was some of the dogs and used up potions, fireworks, and wither skulls

and then theres dream. dream whose been harming the l'manburgians since the beginning, who had taken tubbo hostage, offered eret a chance to betray them all, who had been the man in tommys walls and offering money to tubbo and jack to try and get them to destroy things, who tried to get tommy to kill tubbos villagers. dream, who took tommys discs over and over, who killed tommy twice in one day, who stopped caring about his friends that loved him and were so so loyal. dream, who helped schlatt and pushed wilbur deeper into his spiral, who even then tried to manipulate tommy.

dream, who helped destroy l'manburg the first and second time, who took advantage of tubbo so he could have a premeditated kidnapping of tommy. dream, who abused tommy, physically, psychologically, emotionally. dream, who degraded tubbo and had taken ranboos memory book (which btw, since ranboos memory loss counts as a mental disability with the memory book as his aid, thats dream taking the thing that aids ranboo in dealing with his disability).

dream, who had been the reason l'manburg was created. dream, who got to destroy l'manburg three times. dream won. and techno and phil dont regret it, dont care.

maybe l'manburg was never meant to be. and sure, it started with stealing and an attempt to monopolize on potions but. that wasnt even l'manburg then, was it? it was just wilbur and tommy having fun. l'manburg came after. after the police hurt them. l'manburg started as a silly little revolution, led by a naïve man who thought he could win wars by saying no. it was a place for a family, a place for them to escape from dream. it was a place to try and escape the harm of those outside the walls. it was meant to be safe, even if those against them made it hard to be. it was made from love. it was meant to be happy. it was a symphony, however unfinished.

so. i don't know. i just feel, bad. they never really won, did they? tragedy after tragedy, death after death, destruction after destruction, betrayal after betrayal, hurt after hurt. and now what's left of them, really? out of the founders, erets doing the best and even shes doing awful, forever trying to make up for what he did. tubbos paranoia led him to developing nukes in a desperate attempt to stay safe, because he was taught to stay quiet and keep his emotions to himself, because his death was "justified", because nukes and walls and weapons are the only way he can feel safe anymore.

tommy went through months of abuse, lost all of his lives and suffered upon coming back, suicidal but unable to bring himself to do it because limbo is worse, feeling lost and like he has no family anymore other than wilbur, who he knows is hurting him but cant bring himself to leave, who loved lmanburg so so dearly and only wanted a home, still doesnt have one (tommy from everywhere, tommy from nowhere at all). niki who loved lmanburg and wilbur so much that it hollowed her out and made her bitter and shes so used to being spoken over that all she can think to do is raise her voice and get pissed, who cant see wilbur as a good person anymore because shes hurt and hasnt truly recovered and she doesnt know how to cope without being angry.

jack manifold feels forgotten, hes lost all his lives and crawled out of hell and no one truly noticed, he doesnt even believe that niki really cares, hes desperate and has made his purpose to be spiteful and angry because he cant deal with the emptiness that comes when he realizes theres no point. fundys desperate to have friends, family, a partner, anyone thatll love him, anyone thatll keep him safe, slowly killing himself with cigarettes and disowned because of giving too little too late, because he was too little too late.

and wilburs lost himself. spiraling, paranoid. a young, naïve man who wanted to fight swords with words, who wanted to impress his father, who wanted a nation of his own to feel safe, who was so effected by erets betrayal that he cant trust anyone but himself, whose possessive nature eats him from the inside out, desperate for control and unable to let go of the only person he knows loves him unconditionally

all because outside forces kept pushing, kept destroying, kept ruining them and hurting them and traumatizing them and taking away their homes and pets and loved ones. and i just. cant feel happy for the ones that hurt them, i cant feel victorius, triumphant, any of that. i just feel bad that the l'manburgians never got to be a family. i know they arent the best people but shit, i love them anyways, love them because theyre flawed and because theyre *people*, people who tried so so hard and got pushed so so much and. fuck, i cant be happy that the people who loved nature and play fought and laughed by campfires and read poetry and re-enacted theatre and loved each other and wanted to *live* (even if they were willing to die, if it meant giving everyone else a chance).. lost. they lost.

canonical years of work down the drain in one day. records of history gone, now only remembered in full by a traumatized teenager who was taught not to talk about his negative emotions, and even he misremembers some parts. they didnt even lose fairly. they had no chance. they couldnt have prepared for withers, for tnt rain, for the hounds. they were poor, weaker than their opponents, sabotaged by one of their own. thats.. tragic.

doomsday was a tragedy. i cant agree that it was deserved. i cant agree that they had it coming, that they deserved to lose homes and pets and limbs and lives and land because they werent the greatest people around.

a small country of less than 10 people (at both creation and destruction) now a giant crater in the ground, remnants of a parisitic egg taking over the land. and it wasnt even lost fairly. three people were stronger than an entire nation, even with all of its allies. two anarchists working with an abusive tyrant. so, no. doomsday wasnt deserved. people dont deserve tragedy. there were better ways, i truly cant be happy that the way chosen was violence. i cant.

l'manburg's citizens deserved better. they really did. the ends dont justify the means. and god, am i fucking tired of "justice". if justice means choosing violence over love and respect and caring about those less strong than you, i dont wanna hear about it. fuck that man, id rather love and be loved than constantly give a shit about making up for hurting others by getting hurt, thats stupid and cruel and i cant see it as okay on a moral level. not when the people that got hurt deserved to be loved and cared about and protected and *talked to* instead of constantly shot down.

of course for the narrative i can enjoy violence and characters getting hurt and i do like how "real" it all is, the despair and dissonance in tone and how terrifyingly messy it all is. out of story perspective- honestly rather cool even if it makes me feel bad. in story perspective- holy fucking shit no that wasnt deserved and god i hope everyone hurt will be able to heal and learn to love and be loved again because thats such a terrifying thing to go through. from a detached pov i can appreciate the insight into everyone involved and i like the plotlines that came from it, but from a compassionate pov i just wish the l'manburgians were allowed to be happy and treated as equals so they didnt have to go through all of this

[sailorhyunjinz]

Alright so since bangchan is the type to definitely have trust issues and super insecure i feel like he had a relationship before but was faced with reality that is nothing lasts forever. So that's why i think even he feels like a perfect relationship exists and won't date anyone easily. My point is what's that thing that would make skz members date you👀👀

no this is so fun, IM REALLY GONNA TRY TO LIKE,,, be a spiritual queen (LMAOJGDAHSD IM NOT BUT LIKE,,, lemme pretend like i am) but i think i would have to agree with you. BUT LEMME SEE WHAT I CAN SENSE

also all the astrology in this is kinda half assed since we dont know their exact birth time BUT LETS JUST KINDA,,, wing it. also not saying that someone only needs one of these aspects in an relationship, you obviously need all of them but these are just the ones that stood out more than others. 

Bangchan

Trust.

ohoho,,, this is important.

his trust has been broken far too many times and therefore he doesnt trust people as easily (just like anon said heh,,)

except,,, he does,, because as soon as somebody shows even an ounce of affection he pours his entire soul into this person

which is both good and bad

you have to be the one to open up first because he’s now hesitant

take the first step, show him that you’re actually interested in his mind, his thoughts, his soul, everything about him

only then will he know whether you are worth his time or not.

Minho

Mystery.

he loves people that are hard to get 

not too much tho cause then he will lose interest completely

but if you are mysterious it means that he gets to uncover your personality bit by bit

he will know things no one else knows about you

which makes him feel so special��

he likes this mutual exchange you guys have when the both of you get to know each other more and more since he’s also kinda mysterious in the beginning

but then when you actually do get to know him its so rewarding and vice versa

ah,,, he’s the cutest, showing sides of himself he doesnt show to anyone else!

also wanting to add this; scorpio sun, scorpio venus... I MEAN COME ON,,,

Changbin

Loyalty

i get this feeling that he’s VERY picky 

its not that he thinks he’s better then anyone else, he’s very humble and stuff 

but he’s afraid to get hurt?? or like get in a relationship that will end messy

and so he’s VERY careful,,, but if you show him that you are loyal to him and ONLY him he will love you unconditionally. 

i mean nobody likes someone thats not loyal duh but its so important for his to know that you will stick with him through his,,, even a bit questionable ideas and plans

but he makes it up to you since he’s always very loving because you give him this sense of being appreciated and seen

which feeds his sun and moon leo OOP- 

Hyunjin

Respect. 

if he’s not careful he will date the wrong people

and he will forgive them even if they’ve hurt him

he’s too nice for his own good basically

so if you show that you have respect for his bounderies he will love you more than anyone

he expects you to treat him the same way he treats you 

which is very very good btw

very respectful of bounderies and always asks for permission whatever it might be 

he’s also very emotional (pieces sun and pieces venus,,, yikes)

NOT THAT THERES ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT

but he gets to get his emotions tangled and devalues them

so please,,, take care of this ferret boy. 

Jisung

Emotional Intelligence

i know everybody likes to think of him as this always happy person, an actual giggle machine but his thoughts are very deep

this is gonna sound weird but if you display weaknesses he has mad respect for you

somebody that is in tune with their feelings and can help others with genuine advice and not just telling them to “calm down” or “not worry” 

THAT!! THAT IS HIS KINK (lmao- ok stop making this sexual)

he doesnt want to be alone in his struggles and if you have been through something similar to him he will cling to you as if theres no tomorrow

HE’S A SENSITIVE BABY :((

Felix

Comfort. 

i dont know why but i keep hearing the word “ok” or “i am ok” which is great but,,, i feel like he craves that, he craves someone that will keep him in that “ok” state.

he’s afraid of his feelings.

sounds ~deep~ but whenever he’s feeling down he tends to be drawn to comforting people

like chan for example! ok sure,,, chan is their leader but he’s a very comforting soul and he just throws himself onto him

he would so the same with a s/o

show him a safe space and he will never leave~! 

he’s been alone many times in his life and he never wants to be there again and therefore he will be very clingy 

but its cute

BUT PLEASE DONT BREAK THIS SAFE SPACE FOR HIM UNLESS YOU WANT HIM TO BREAK :((

Seungmin

Innocence.

not in like,,, a sexual sense or whatever but more like,,, kinda this free spirit that both wants to lead him and be led kinda??

he likes to take care of people but doesnt get to do that too often so if you show that you like to be taken care of he will do it kinda subconsiously

almost like a mama bird taking care of their baby (w-wait this is so cute :c)

hmmm i feel like he’s very much also kinda a free spirit,, liking whoever he likes, whoever he vibes with

but theres one thing that will never ever attract him and thats being quarrelsome

yeah sure! voice your opinions! he’s all for that but dont be defensive, starting arguments because he’s a) scared of argumentative people and b) will get tired of trying to battle you with words

Jeongin

Charm

this is gonna be so fitting but he wants a fox-like partner

somebody that knows how to use their brain and can captivate others with their general charisma

somebody whose scent will linger around but who is never seen

its very very sexy,,, when you have this confidence about you, walking around like you know who you are and what your purpose is

he also likes it if you can give him actual feedback and voice your opinion!

he wants to learn from you, look up to you and be you good little boy

that doesnt mean he can’t be leading, he definitely can but he wants someone reliable to lean back on sometimes

wants to be cuddled

bonus points if you’re very giggly and touchy sometimes

[reidgraygubler]

the threat is gone (spencer reid/reader)

Title: the threat is gone

Requested: yes, was a request someone sent to @imagining-in-the-margins, but I took it off her hands :) (Reader is being threatened by an unsub and is given safety instructions by reid that she disobeys out of boredom, so when the threat is over she tries to joke/lie/argue her way out of trouble but he’s in total dead serious fbi interrogation mode and calmly hauls her over his lap and doesnt stop til she’s crying hard and has told him everything and then he comforts her n from there whatever)

Couple: spencer reid/fem!reader 

Category: angst, slight smut (either way, minors dni)

Content Warning: swearing, dishonesty, being spanked (to the point of tears), aftercare, D/s dynamic, reader being a brat, usual criminal minds case stuff, post prison & post series!reid, implied age gap (10 years),  use of a safeword

Word Count:  3,901

Summary:  Spencer sends Reader to a safe house after she’s threatened by an unsub. Reader decides to take her fate in her own hands and leave the safety. When Spencer finds out what she did, there’s hell to pay

A/N: happy easter to those who celebrate! pom (aka @imagining-in-the-margins​ )posted this in her discord and said if someone had any ideas for this, we could have it. and i loved the request so i took it off her hands. also thank you to @newportonmymind for beta reading this for me!! thank you all so much for the support! i really do appreciate it. check out my masterlist!

{***}{***}{***}

“Anderson and a cop are going to take you to a safe house,” Spencer looked down at me. I shifted on my feet as I looked up at him. My heart was in my throat. I didn’t think this unsub was that bad. 

“I’m not going to a safe house, Spencer. Being here is probably the safest place I could be. By your side… With the team,” I stepped up to him as I grabbed his hands. He looked down at me, a certain frustration in his eyes. 

“His victims are too much like you. We’re not taking that chance, I’m not taking that chance. Do you understand?” Spencer’s voice was low as he spoke. I swallowed roughly as he placed his hands on my shoulders.

“Yeah, yeah, fine, I understand,” I scoffed and shrugged his hands off my body. Spencer looked at me, watching as I collected my belongings. 

“Please, just trust me,” his voice was soft. I looked up at him, putting my bag across my body. 

“Yeah, of course, Spence, I trust you, wholeheartedly,” I smiled at him. He didn’t believe me. Granted, I didn’t exactly believe myself either. Why would I? I’m being snappy and sarcastic, and dismissive to everything he said. “I’ll be safe. Anderson and a random cop will be with me. Do not worry,” I went up to him before pressing my lips to his. 

“It won’t be for long. We’ll be back home before you even know it,” Spencer smiled, resting his hands on my hips before kissing me again. “You’ll listen to me and Anderson, understand,” he kept his tone soft and quiet, but still held authority.

“Yeah, yeah! My life is now in his hands. I wholeheartedly trust you and Anderson,” I whispered as I kept my eyes on him. He looked down at me, his honey-like hazel eyes watching every detail on my face. Part of me wondered why he stared at me the way he did. Was he memorizing every little detail of my face, just in case something happened to me?  Nothing will happen to me, that’s the whole reason why he’s having me go to a safe house with Anderson. 

“I love you,” his voice wavered slightly with his words. It was clear he was trying to not let his emotions show, but was also obviously losing. 

“I love you too,” I smiled before pressing his lips to mine for the briefest moment.

“Sorry to interrupt,” a voice came from the doorway, forcing Spencer and I to part. I swallowed roughly before turning to look at the door, seeing Anderson leaning against the doorframe. “But we’re ready to go,” he looked between Spencer and me.

“I’ll see you soon,” Spencer lifted his hand to my face, gently holding my cheek in his large palm. I swallowed roughly and nodded. “And don’t forget your promise. Follow your orders, and be a good girl,” he whispered the last part so only I would hear it.

“Ye-yeah, yeah… We’ll see you soon,” I repeated what he said before kissing him one last time. As much as I didn’t want to, I stepped away from Spencer’s body and followed closely behind Anderson. The cop that was behind us held a jacket over my body to hide my identity and keep me hidden from anyone unsub. 

“We’re going to stop at your place before we go to the safehouse, so you can get some clothes, toiletries and other belongings,” Anderson looked over at me once we got settled in the car. I glanced over at him and nodded.

“Yeah, okay,” I swallowed roughly and nodded, “Will we be able to stop at a store too?” 

“Everything you should need, food and entertainment, should be at the safehouse when we arrive,” Anderson backhandedly answered my question. I furrowed my eyebrows as I stared at him.

The rest of the drive to the apartment was tense and silent. It was almost like we were in a library. Any sound or comment that was made, any breath that was breathed, felt wrong and I should be executed for it. But, that would kind of defeat the purpose of me going to this safehouse, right?

“Be quick, we only have a few minutes. We have to be on the road before dark,” Anderson looked at me as we both walked up the steps to the apartment complex. I glanced over at him and nodded lightly.

“Will do,” I nodded as I pulled out the keys and unlocked the building’s door. Anderson stayed standing outside the building, by the door, as I went inside.

The apartment that I shared with Spencer was a mess, but to be fair it was mostly Spencer’s mess. Books, papers and files scattered over any surface. And if there was an exposed surface, it was occupied by a coffee cup. At the office and on the road, Spencer is neat and organized, but at home, when his walls come down and once he’s in the zone, the organization goes out the window. Teaching tended to take a back seat; the papers that littered the room (and office and bedroom) consisted of papers he has/is supposed to grade.

I think the only organized room was our bedroom. Even though no one else ever entered that room, he always had it pristine. He knew where everything was, and if one thing was out of place or out of line, he’d know in an instant. We had come to a shared agreement that the bedroom was for bedroom activities only. If we could keep work stuff out of our room, we would. Our room was the only truly the only place we had control, hence the cleanliness and order of it.

I was quiet as I grabbed my backpack. Shoving my clothes into it, I muttered strings of profanities. Spending time in stupid safe house sounded like pure hell, absoulte boredom. Why would he think I would be okay at a safehouse? I could be useful at the office, and safer too. What’s safer than being with the team, not to mention with Spencer?

With a deep and resigned sigh, I threw the straps of my backpack over my shoulders. Anything to make Spencer happy, I suppose. I was a brat, but this didn’t seem like something to fight him on. 

I quietly exited my home and went back outside, where Anderson was still waiting. 

“Ready,” I looked over at him, feeling a fake smile grow across my lips. Anderson looked at me and nodded before taking the lead back to the cop car. I looked over at him and nodded as the car finally jerked forward and took off. 

If I thought the drive to the apartment was bad… The drive to the safehouse was worse. If I had known it was going to be a 1 hour drive, I would have fought harder. This time around, I could sense that Anderson was trying to make some sort of an effort to make me feel better about this situation. But it was clear it was a fail of an attempt too. He kept talking about the things he enjoyed rather than common interest, or small talk. Yes, Spencer could do the same, but at least his factoids were adorable or at least relevant.

I almost felt bad, because I had honestly stopped listening to everything he said. I’m not sure when I stopped listening, sometime around the time he started talking about baseball. I take back what I said about Spencer, this was far worse. I swear, I actually liked listening to Spencer ramble on and on when he info dumps. But Anderson… 

“Anderson,” I looked over at him, cutting him off as he spoke, “Please… For the love of God… I know you love baseball… But you have got to stop talking for five fucking minutes,” I took a deep breath as I stared at him. He looked back at me before closing his mouth and nodding. 

Thankfully, the rest of the drive was silent. I almost couldn’t believe how quiet it was. And, I almost couldn’t think of a time where it was silent for such a long period of time. I suppose in the moment I was thankful that things were turning out the way they were.

“Here’s your bedroom,” Anderson spoke cooly as we walked past a room. I looked over at him, feeling my exhaustion spread through my body. “Rest all you want. There’s some books that Spencer sent over that you could read. As well as movies you could watch,” he looked over at me. I looked back at him and nodded.

“I think I’ll do that… Everything that’s happened today… I’m exhausted,” I laughed nervously as I entered the room. Anderson looked at me and nodded, watching as I closed the door. I pressed my back to the door once it was shut, clicking it locked with a sigh. 

My eyes scanned across the bland room. It consisted of a bed, a night stand, a lamp, and a window. Of course, all safe houses are basically empty homes. Fake houses that looked lived in, when in reality they were nothing.

But then I looked back at the window… We were only an hour away from the apartment… Surely I could...

“Like hell I’m going stay in this stupid safe-house with Anderson,” I scoffed before rushing over to the window. I threw it open so fast I was worried I’d broken it. I didn’t have every step of my escape planned out, but I knew I had to get out of here. I knew I could think on my feet, so the spontaneity didn’t faze me.

I had to be quick as I had to make sure that Anderson didn’t clue into what I was doing. Because the second he knew that I wasn’t in the the safe house anymore, was the second Spencer knew, and then I’d be in big trouble -- worse than if the unsub were to catch me. 

“Okay, okay,” I whispered as I patted down my pockets, feeling for my phone and wallet, trusting that everything else that I needed would be in my bags. I’d be back by the end of this case. I wasn’t exactly running away, I was just getting away because this was stupid. The safest place I would have been in was with Spencer and the rest of the team. I knew that, and I knew Spencer just needed reminding that I was right.  

‘I wasn’t running away,’ I thought to myself as I looked out the window. It wasn’t a far jump. 3 yards at least. I wouldn’t get hurt by that, should I? 

I glanced over my shoulder, just making sure no one was watching me, before finally jumping out the window. I grunted when I landed on the ground. Then, I was off.

There was a coffee shop not far from the house. That was my destination. And then from there, I’d get an uber or taxi back home, or shopping, or someplace else. As long as I was away from danger, I was okay. 

I could feel a certain anxiety grow up my throat the further I got from the safe house. It wasn’t because I was afraid that I was going to get hurt. It was because of Spencer. I just wasn’t sure how he’d take to that news -- but I could take an educated guess. It was honestly a matter of time before I go-

Spencer Calling…

I stared at the screen, looking at the picture of Spencer and I at one of Rossi’s fabulous parties. I swallowed back my fear and anxiety, and took a deep breath of courage before pressing answer.

“Hel-”

“Where the hell are you!?” Spencer growled as his voice came through the speaker. Fear… Fear grew in the pit of my stomach, and it was hard to breathe. “I swear to God,”

“I’m fine! I’m safe…” I returned as my steps slowed on the sidewalk. I didn’t totally answer his question. I didn’t really want to tell him I was at a coffee shop 5 minutes away from the safe house. Because then he’d have Anderson on my ass in a second. 

“That doesn’t answer my question, and you know that,” Spencer snapped back. I froze in my tracks, my heart beating harder than I could control. “Where are you? Make me ask again and I won’t be nice,” 

“Spencer,” I started, my voice low and shaky, “I can’t tell you,” I shook my head. I could hear the breath of air that Spencer let out, and it only scared me more.

“If you’re not back at that safe house in 20 minutes, you will have the biggest punishment. Do you understand, Princess?” 

“I’ll be safe, Spencer,” I muttered. I stared at the ground for a long time as we both stayed silent. It was hard to say how long passed, but it was a while. “Bye Spencer,”

“If you hang up, I swear,” he started but I didn’t get to feel the end of it before I hung up. I swallowed roughly before continuing my trek towards the coffee shop as my phone buzzed continuously.

{***}{***}{***}

“Where were you again?” Spencer asked, just to ask. He didn’t forget. The man he is? He’d never forget. Especially something like this.

“Coffee shop and Library, I thought you would just have Garcia track me.” I mumbled as I waited for him to unlock the door. My stomach was slowly churning the longer he took to unlock the door. Although, I was okay with how slow he was. The slower he took, the longer I had before the punishment.

Spencer huffed out a breath of air and shook his head. I stared at him, watching as the door finally unlocked and was pushed open.

“Do you have any idea how irresponsible that was?! How… How much danger you were in?!” Spencer shouted as we both entered the apartment. I glanced at him as I made my way to the couch.

"C'mon, I was probably safer at the library and coffee shop anyways! Bastard knew I’d go to a safe house and our apartment," I shrugged as I flopped onto the couch. Spencer looked down at me like he was the parent reprimanding their disobedient child. Granted, that’s kind of how our dynamic was when we weren’t at work or it was a normal day. I do have to admit though, I was wrong for not going where he wanted me to.

"You directly disobeyed me. Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?! How could you be so reckless!? You have no idea how scared I was when I heard you weren’t at the safe house,” he shouted, but as he got closer to the end of his sentence, his words got quieter and his voice cracked. I looked up at him, the feeling of guilt suddenly eating away in my stomach. 

“I’m sorry… I don’t know what else you want me to say or do, Spencer…” I muttered before shrugging. I glanced at him as he stood on the other side of the coffee table. He rolled the sleeves of his shirt, quietly muttering something as he went. “Spencer, look, I said I’m sorry… I’m home and I’m safe…” I watched him with anxiety bubbling in my stomach.

"You disobeyed me, put yourself in danger,," his voice was low as he stood up. I watched as he walked over. The hairs on the back of my neck were instantly standing, and I could feel goosebumps grow all over my arms. “Sorry just isn’t going to cut it,” he looked down at me. I looked up at him, and I knew exactly what he was about to do. So my next question was redundant.

"Wh-what are you doing?" I looked up at him. My heart was suddenly in my stomach as he lowered to my height. I tried to look anywhere but him, but that was hard when he placed his finger under my chin, coaxing me to look at him. I tried my hardest to not look up at him, but it was so hard to not look at him. He was right there and he was my favorite person to look at. But, to be fair, when he was mad it made me a little nervous.

"Well, you decided to go and break my instruction. And you know what happens to little girls who disobey their rules," he kept his voice low as he spoke. I dropped my gaze to my lap as he sat beside me. A shiver shot down my spine as I locked eyes with him… In that moment, I knew I was done for...  

"Wait, Spencer," I exclaimed as he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me so I was lying across his lap. I lifted my head and looked up at him with wide eyes “Spencer! Spencer! Wait! Please!” I struggled as I squirmed in his lap. I wanted so badly to just slide out of his arms, but the way he held me made it damn near impossible to slide away from him.

“I’ve asked for an explanation and you didn’t provide one,” he spoke cooly. He kept his hands on my back, and not going any lower than my hips. I took a moment, struggling to breathe as I thought of why I left the safe house and Anderson. 

“I was just bored, okay? I was bored. And thought it was stupid that you had me leave the office and the team to go to a safe house,” I tried to wiggle from his grip again, but failed when his hold on me tightened. I swallowed roughly, hoping my truth telling would work, but I had a feeling it wouldn’t.

“Is this the truth?” Spencer asked, his tone somewhat overly nice. I bit my lips together and nodded lightly.

“It’s the truth, I swear, Spencer, it’s the truth,” I whispered. I knew telling the truth would lessen the harshness of his punishment. And, maybe it would. He does know when to be gentle.

“I’m happy you gave me the truth. But that still doesn’t mean it was okay to disobey me, you know that, don’t you Princess?” he whispered as he brushed down my hair. I let out a deep sigh before reluctantly nodding. 

“I know,” It was inevitable at this point. I owned up to my mistake, and now I need to own up to the punishment. And I knew exactly what was going to happen. 

“I’ll go easy on you, okay?” He kept his voice low. He knew if his voice was any louder, I’d instantly back away from all of this. “I think ten strikes is appropriate... Do you agree?” 

I would rather have less, and Spencer knew that too.  But if I argued he’d only add more. Which was worse than the ten he already offered. I knew that after he’d be okay and it’d be over with.  Fuck, I already wanted it to be over.

“Yes, sir,” I sighed deeply. I lifted my hips enough for him to pull my pants down over my bottom. My chest tightened as I tried to take a deep, shaky breath as I anticipated the first strike. 

My ears could just barely pick up the soft rush of air from Spencer’s hand before it landed hard against my bottom. I took a sharp breath of air and dropped my head down to the cushion.

“One…” I whispered as my hands gripped his pants tightly. I swallowed roughly as I tried to steady my breathing. Spencer gave me a moment to breathe before giving me two and three in a quick go. Four came after a brief moment. But then… Five was when it started getting shaky for me. Tears had started rolling on my face between three and four, but it didn’t start becoming trouble till five.

“Five! I understand! I swear! I’m sorry!” I cried out once his hand connected hard with my ass for the 5th time. And, okay, that one hurt, like a lot. I couldn’t tell if it was the sting that hurt, or the repeated assault on the sore spot… But I knew it hurt. With each strike, I could almost feel Spencer’s anger and anxiety. I definitely felt bad about doing what I did.

I don’t know if I’ll make it to ten...

“Just five more,” Spencer spoke softly as his hand carefully massaged my butt-cheek. I could tell he started feeling bad. But, we both knew he had to follow through with it. 

His hand whizzed through the air and smacked against my ass. A loud crack came through the air, and a sharp gasp fell from my lips. And, that was it. I definitely don’t think I’ll make it to ten. This was it. 

“Buttercup!” I shouted as my eyes snapped open. I could still feel the tears burning down my cheeks. Before Spencer could make contact for the 7th time, he stopped. He kept both his hands away from my body as I moved away from him. With that, we were both silent for a minute, as I tried to recalibrate my breathing. 

Spencer looked over at me, sensing his sudden change in demeanor. His anger and anxiety was gone and replaced with a guilty panic. The atmosphere changed.

“Are you okay?” Spencer asked after a minute had passed. I was, painfully, sitting on the next cushion away from him. I needed my space. I bit my lips and nodded as I roughly wiped my cheeks. 

“I’m okay,” I whispered looking back at him. I watched as he slowly lifted his hands, offering both of them for me to hold. I stared at them for a while before just falling into his sigh, a shaky breath, almost a sob, going through my body.

“I got you; you’re ok, you’re safe. I was so worried. You have to understand how dangerous it was for you to just leave like that. I thought I was never going to see you again,” Spencer whispered, bringing a hand to run over my hair. I bit my lips and nodded.

“No, I know… I’m sorry for… I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. I don’t even know… I should have just stayed at the safe house,” I whispered as I pressed my face into his shoulder. I felt as he let out a deep sigh and wrapped his arms around me, resting and hand on my lower back. 

I was happy he didn’t mention how I told him the truth a little bit ago. My body could feel the exhaustion from the whole day. It wasn’t just the punishment, or the little bit of arguing, or even the running away. It was everything combined. I needed sleep soon. Spencer knew that too.

“Why don’t we go into our room and cuddle,” he whispered as he continued stroking my hair. I sniffled lightly before laughing. Just like he was reading my mind. He knows me better than anyone. “I just want you safe in my arms.”

“Yeah, yeah, I think I’d like that a lot, actually,” I looked up at him. Spencer smiled at me before lightly pressing his lips to mine. 

if you want to be a part of a taglst or have any comments about this one shot, let me know here

taglist: @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto, @thebluetint

[disaster-j]

Hey can we talk about how sean from not me is a complex character? Like the ultimate badass? Okay hear me out. First of all, he’s pretty mysterious, we dont know much about him, well except that his dad got killed and that he probably had a poor upbringing. He has this scowl on his face 24/7. He looks at the whole gang with an expression that says ‘ I literally don’t trust any of you, im just here because i have things to do’. Doesnt really get involved in any of the other guys business. He simply doesnt care. He likes to lead and to be in charge. Maybe something he lacked growing up idk he needs to feel like hes doing something. He’s abit playful and only for a very short time as if he wants to be taken very seriously all the time. Hes very very lonely. We doesnt seem to have any friends except the namo girl and i feel like hes not that close to her. Now with the nightmares, what does he want to be helped with? Honestly we’ve seen white hug his parents and being very intimate with his gf in russia, but when was sean last hugged? Kissed? Im sad…… did we even see him smile.. like at all? Why am i so sad?!!!!!

Yes pls let's talk about Sean!

First off! That's a really interesting read on his character there anon you're really peeling those layers, I love it!

Like! Sean's so complex and presents such an interesting character. You can really see how trauma hardens a person with Sean, and it's executed in a way that is so realistic. We don't know much about his background but we know that he's haunted by it all the same. It's reflected in the way he keeps most people out, keeps his social circle small. The people in his life are limited to those who share his mission, only they are allowed his trust and even then it doesn't go all the way. Namo feels a lot like his calm place, the person he goes to when he wants to get away from all the intensity. She allows him a safe space to be softer, to let himself be happy. He trusts her just enough to let a little vulnerability bleed out but not nearly enough to actually let her in. And he knows having a relationship with her will mean having to do just that so he never pursues it, even though they both have some romantic interest in each other.

Also! The way you describe him hits home for me just how similar Sean and Black are. Angry, closed off, trust issues a mile wide. You're right that Sean likes control, he never had any control over the situation that ruined his life so he now naturally takes charge in situations. And Gram and Yok clearly look up to him and follow his lead too, bc they trust him to know what he's doing which he clearly does. But Black is just like Sean, he likes being in control and like Sean he's good at it. So they end up fighting over it all.

I think his nightmare is likely about his father. He probably tried to get people to help him clear his name when it all went down and no one did. He would've been a kid still, just a teenager, it must have been so traumatic having to go through all that especially knowing your father was going to die bc of someone else's wrongdoings. As for being touch starved, he totally is. He doesn't have anyone to be physically intimate with at all. With Namo he holds himself back so as not to escalate their relationship and with the gang, even in his most casual moments, physical touch is limited to friendly contact like a tap on the shoulder. You can really see how badly he needs physical touch from how he instantly reaches out for White in the nightmare scene, the way he pulls him close and gently touches his shoulder. It's so sad to see him struggle like that bc he just deserves so much better than the hand he was dealt.

We do see him smile tho! In the background mostly. He smiles when the others are talking about the masks and teasing Black in ep1 and then again while talking to Namo in ep2. And I think he smiles while teasing Yok in ep4? So I do think he really cares about Namo and the gang, he just doesn't want to be too obvious about it bc his aloof front is his armour. Literally why are Sean and Black the same fucking person in different flavours!?!

(Also! Axelle wrote a really cool essay on Sean so read that here if you haven't yet!)

[beomglocks]

what beomgyu is like as a boyfriend

warnings & other: no warnings, its just that i wrote this at like 4am, very on brand for me i know, it’s unnecessarily long and i think i just went on a tangent about how beomgyu is the ideal boyfriend

w/c: 1k if we’re rounding

let’s have a look at what our choi beomgyu is like a boyfriend, shall we?

how could anyone think beomgyu is cold

yeah maybe when you first meet him he’s all like

(T_T)

you seriously think he hates you or something or that he’s super uninterested

i mean but even then he can’t keep up the facade, he tries to be polite and you know he’s smiley 

but after you really get to know him it’s like

“my god help me”

he’s an extrovert and an 01′ liner its in his blood (rip me who’s introvert and 01′)

you’re either super alike or super different than him

no in between

but i think he lowkey vibes with people who are opposite from him

it’s a good balance

if you’re naturally calm boom he’s hooked

because he can annoy you and knows you won’t get heated too easily

if you’re alike then expect arguments

not too many serious arguments but arguments over which meat to eat for instance

to be honest i can’t see beomgyu actually arguing with anyone but man

if you’re like him i’m telling you right now

prepare for trouble make it double

he sticks his tongue out at you

you do it back

him: “don’t you think you’re being too mean” (￣ε ￣)

clowns you

literally clowns you for everything you do

this dude won’t let you live

trying to learn his part in a dance?

him: “you look so silly lol”

*bursts out in laughter*

also him: “if you wanted me to teach you you could’ve just asked”

calls you a fucking idiot

for anything...literally any little slip up

he better not catch you slipping

ok maybe not a fucking idiot but its pretty close

not in a “im fed up with you” way

its more like a “you’re an idiot but you’re my idiot” way

and likewise

but don’t take it to heart

that’s his way of flirting

phrases include (but not limited to):

“you’re so dumb you’re lucky i like you”

“you’re so stupid but that’s your charm and i love you for it”

“fool”

WAIT,, he doesnt mean it in a condesending way, he thinks you’re actually very smart (●ˇ∀ˇ●)

ok but

hoodie season?

don’t even try it

you know how he looks so cuddly in his sweaters

those are literally his safe haven

don’t try to take them

him: “isn’t that my sweater?”

him: “THAT WAS MY FAVORITE ONE” ╰（‵□′）╯

(the grey one)

plays guitar for you

like yeah

shocker

he can actually get really soft

he’s not a complete meanie

super cuddly

rests his head on you at random times

because the boy sleepy

he work hard he sleep o(一︿一+)o

on his off days you have to console him

words of assurance will do!

“cheer up gyu! you did great today!”

“hey dont forget im always here when you need me”

when he’s down and you’re trying to cheer him up he seems like the type to laugh at your attempts rather than the actual thing idk

you have to compliment him

him: “i look good right”

you: “no”

“Shut up”

“you shut up”

him: “just admit you like me so much” 〒▽〒

super playful relationship

but super chill at the same time

like yeah it’s fun and games

but when it comes down to it

he’s someone who can trust in with your secrets and hardships

like maybe he’s experienced what you’re going through and can give you tips

you guys just help each other out all the time it’s honestly wholesome asf

your friends think you hate each other

oh no sweetie we just seem like it but we’re super tight knit

skinship

skinship

dude won’t leave you alone

and likewise

he’s gotta be touching you in someway for comfort

or just to annoy you

if you have thick thighs, good luck charlie

rests his head on them

squeezes them but not in any kind of sexual way

you: “stop”

him: *sighs* “but i like them” /_ \

falls asleep on you a lot

wants you to run your hands through his hair

he’s out like a light after that

his hair

just run your hands through his hair

careful though because when he’s cranky he doesn’t really want you to touch him

but he gets free passes to touch you

*im mad so don’t touch me but let me back hug you while you do everyday mundane things*

best hugs

BEST HUGS

introducing you to the members good god help him

him: “so this is my significant other”

txt: “wait you have a partner????”

just to tease him you go along with it

you: “hahah yeah i know right”

gets mad at you but like not for real

he can take jokes

smacks your arm playfully

him: “i hate you i knew this was a bad idea”

you: “nah you really like me”

him: “you like me mo-”

txt: *gagging noises*

random kisses

he be kissing you at random times

fuck having 10 reasons to kiss you

he’s got 1 million!

not the jealous type

he’s territorial but not crazy jealous

won’t step out of line but will remind the person involved that you’re his if he has to

i think he just knows you wont ever cheat on him so he trusts you but he doesn’t trust everyone else

you might be insecure because you know it’s beomgyu we’re talking about

but don’t worry he’s only yours, he’s always showing you that

uses his satoori on you when he wants something

him: you think this looks good on me?”

you: “it looks terrible”

him: “im definitely wearing it now”

pesters you afterwards because he can

you guys just love each other so much it’s actually gross