#because idk. idk actually. i think ive gotten so used to it that ive preferred it and anything else jars me unless its written REALLY well.

[dreemurr-skelememer]

hey, i often see you talk about dreamtale and i've got a question that's been on my mind for literal years. i know you're not the original creator and i've gathered you have your own version of the AU, but i konda just want to hear your thoughts on this because i'm genuinely curious. please let me know if it's an inappropriate question or if you don't want to answer or you have answered it before that's completely okay and i'll totally understand.

so the question i've always had is, why does dreamtale have 2 sanses(?), as in, as far as i was aware (which i admit is not much, i haven't kept up a lot with UT or the AU community the last few years) there's dream sans and nightmare sans. my (possibly outdated) understanding of dreamtale is that it's an undertale AU focusing on the story of two brothers. and since in canon sans pretty notoriously already has a brother, i've always wondered the deal with making his brother another sans rather than papyrus.

i wonder if it was because of character dynamics, the thing the internet had for AU sanses when the original AU was created, or some other reason. i was just wondering, if you're up for it, you could just share your thoughts on it. the question has been on my mind again lately since i see your posts about dreamtale on my dash and i'd ask the original creator, but i've got them blocked and i can't really remember why since it was a long time ago, but i imagine it was probably for a good reason.

as I said before, i completely understand if you don't want to answer. this is just me being curious lol. thank you!

i've already talked abt it somewhat before but it's basically because joku just wanted eyes on dreamtale, really

if you look at dreamtale, it really basically has nothing to do with undertale except for the fact that dream and nightmare are sanses!

which is fine to have sanses be the focus, in my opinion, sans enjoyers get too much shit for that.

but yeah, i do think it could be done more in relation to undertale. but that really was never joku's focus

from the way they've acted for years, it's clear that they only made dream and nm sanses bc it gave them the most attention.

and it did because with how dog shit the writing is there's honestly no way it would've picked up if you asked me, even if chapter 1 has a lot of potential in my eyes :p

sorry to disappoint if i sound very straightforward about it! i just know that joku is...joku, you know. it's all because of very joku reasons lolz

[triglycercule]

guys i havent written since may (for killer's birthday) but stupid silly swapinverse has been on my mind for a little bit and i threw together this silly (he has a panic attack and throws up) little short draft 4 swapinverse horror!!

-

“hah… ah… oh god… no, no, nonono…”

he ran. sprinted through the forest like a frightened deer, his demeanor that of prey, although his previous actions aligned more of a predator. panting and shaking, his mind cycled through countless variations of how to react to what just happened, what he just did.

how should he react? how could he react? it was impossible to tell for him in the panicked state. and as the trees in snowdin slowly began to surround him (but weren't they always doing that?), paranoia couldn't run anymore. he was surrounded, he was blocked off, he couldn't escape. not from horrortale, not from snowdin, not from the dusty graveyard he had just left it, and not from the blood smeared across his mouth.

“no, i- what did, what did i do? paps, snowdin, even-undick, no, it-”

paranoia’s incoherent rambles brought his hands to wander across his face, tugging at the massive hole in his skull spanning majority of the left side of his head. picking at the chipped bone didn't help, it never did, but a nervous habit was unbreakable, and he was more than nervous in this moment. in fact, quite terrified. everything was terrifying. he was terrifying. and as the slightest hint of red blood touched his sleeve, the once red, now magenta eye quickly locked onto it, and he couldn't hold it back anymore.

“fuck- oh god, no, aliza-!”

falling to his knees, a disgustingly gorey mess of red, pink, and black spilled from his mouth. sounds of retching and hurling were all that filled the empty forest, and paranoia couldn't bear to look down and see the mess he’d made. the mess he’s caused. wasted food, he would've said. but that statement normally only applied to others. he never imagined using it on himself. choking on his spit and certainly not his blood, tears fell from his eye, joining the vomit and blood seeping into the snow. strange. paranoia didn't think he had enough magic to even shed tears anymore. just for the bare necessities. he managed to surprise even himself, after all this time.

but could it be could be considered surprise, or rather terror? he fit up to his name, certainly horrified at his own actions. forcing out as much of the grossness he could that he’d just consumed, paranoia couldn't help but look down at what he’d done.

red. a lot of red. too much red. he’d never been queasy before, never. he had to adapt to it, being the one to hunt down humans that ran or sneak up on those when times got desperate. there was no time or need to be queasy at what he even considered his job before. a duty he had to do.

but now, there was too much red. far too much red. and he didn't know why, although he totally knew, but paranoia couldn't stomach it. he just threw his guts out (shouldn't they be aliza’s guts, or no?), and here he was, wanting to throw up until his SOUL shattered. his SOUL cycled through those strange 4 shapes, unsure of which to settle on. he couldn't blame it. paranoia himself was unsure of what was even going on anymore. he wanted to run, but was frozen. he wanted to scream, but didn't know who at.

everything was contradicting. everything was going on, and not enough was given for paranoia to understand how to deal with it. and with a muttered curse, he flopped on his side onto the somehow dry snow, losing consciousness in the haze of fear now intermingled with his SOUL.

-

ik theres probably grammar mistakes i wrote this on my phone,,,, but like idk. had idea for a little moment in paranoia's lore and i sure as hell didn't wanna draw it so i wrote it as an easier media! god this is so much easier compared to drawing idk why i dont do this more often (because youre lazy silly!) anyways swapinverse silly i love swapinverse. i've only thrown up like never so i dont know if this works. also never had a panic attack (i think) and AGAIN i dont know if this is accurate but whatever i dont write to be good i write for expressing my ideas. like everything i do

[atthebell]

do you have any recommendations/resources to learn spanish?? i've been using busuu for about 104 days now, imo opinion it's actually pretty fun and i like it but i think my main problem with it is that it goes too fast?? it's hard to explain. it's also started to feel kinda repetitive to me. i still love busuu and i'm going to continue with my course, but it'd be nice to also have something else. like, preferably not an app, maybe a textbook or a website or something :D i don't really WHERE to find resources for language learning, despite being bilingual, i never really had to look on the internet to learn the languages i speak now, i picked it up from the people around me you know?

i've also been ''using'' duolingo but tbh, i really hate it. it feels boring to me, everyday it's ''ok what sentence am i going to be forced to write for the 40th time today?'' the single 'square' has 5 lessons and a 'unit' has around 10-8 of those squares and to finish a 'unit' you have to do about 50-45 of those lessons, which is shit because a 'unit' is only going to teach about 3 sentence structures and if you're lucky maybe 5. it's so shit, those greedy fuckers basically made it unusable. i've been using for about 140 days now, every single day i take at least one lesson, and it STILL has not taught me a SINGLE spanish tense. btw, i even had an entire phase where i would finish UNITS in about an hour and a half (1 min or less for every lesson) and still not a single ''pretérito Indefinido'' actual pain 🫠🫠 one day ll delete that app, one day (i guess that's why i like busuu in the first place, it actually teaches you these tenses and even some slang while duolingo makes you write ''papá, quiero visitar a nuestra abuela'' for the 700th time this week)

i want to watch vods and stuff, but tbh, i feel way too embarrassed? like, i don't know enough spanish to really understand them and even when they say basic sentences that i understand, i still have to listen to it multiple times and slow down the clip for me to really get it. the thing with spanish is that i'll understand the meaning of the words being said but i need to take a second or so to really comprehend what they mean together you know? i don't want to have to watch the stream slowed down because that would definitely make me feel stupid 😭 maybe when i have better spanish i'll start watching vods. although i do listen to spanish songs sometimes, it's fun :D

first thing: you don't have to feel embarrassed about needing time to process things/needing to listen to things slowed down. language learning is difficult and there are a lot of obstacles for many people; this is something i do understand and want to stress that i get that it's hard. you are not a bad person or an idiot or whatever for having a hard time understanding things-- you are still learning, and besides that, sometimes hearing things isn't someone's strong suit (it absolutely did not use to be mine, but i've practiced a lot and gotten much better at it. i'm still much much better at reading text in other languages, but it is something you can always improve on). if you need to take extra time to watch things, that is not a personal fault of yours nor does it make you stupid. everyone has different skill sets, and you can always practice to get better.

second thing: my own criticisms of both busuu and duolingo, along with their strengths. duolingo first, because i've used it since like. idk like 2016? not consistently but i've used it far more over the years and i'm very familiar with various changes they've made and the esp, ptbr, and french courses. busuu ive only been using for a few months

to get it out of the way, the recent change to laying off translators and using more AI in lessons. this sucks, obviously, for a myriad of reasons. machine translation cannot match with human translation, and frankly never will be able to. there are vast amounts of nuance and cultural context necessary for translation, along with the fact that an AI led course does not actually hit on all the things someone needs, particularly on a basics/foundational level. and from an ethical standpoint, laying off a ton of human translators because you think you can replace them with inaccurate machine translation sucks and is why so many people have dropped duolingo, myself included.

duolingo also has limitations in terms of format-- it gamifies language learning, which can make it feel more accessible to people and makes people want to open it and practice every day. however, most people use duolingo to do one lesson once a day and that's it. they're not getting in practice from lessons previously completed, they're not drilling vocab or conjugations, they're not actually maintaining or even remembering what they've already learned. obviously there are people (like myself, when i still used the app) who practice far more than that and continue to drill previous lessons, but that's not the majority, and it's not incentivized by the app. the paywalling of completing certain lessons and being able to drill error words also sucks for this reason. basically duolingo is not an ideal setup for actually maintaining knowledge once you go through it the first time and also the way the courses are laid out just. does not, imo, actually make sense. they rarely actually explain what they're trying to teach you and they don't get into enough detail on most concepts. and there is no incentive to review, which is hugely important. not an ideal situation for language learning, especially on its own.

my pros for duolingo: it gets you to practice daily. this is honestly what i use busuu for at this point-- when i get a notif for it, i open it up and flick through a lesson, but i also pull out a textbook or two to look at things there and practice stuff. if whipping out duolingo every day helps you practice a language, that is, at bare minimum, something. preferably you should be studying for at least 15min if not up to an hour or more of a language a day in order to really pick things up and maintain them; you can absolutely use duolingo or busuu for that (busuu i think is far less well formatted and oftentimes the lessons are very specific vocab, at least in the later courses).

for busuu, my issues are like. it's a poorly made imitation of duolingo, aside from a few things. the community aspect is something i REALLY like-- being able to send an exercise to a native speaker and get feedback on what to work on is great, especially with how it's a short answer question that lets you form your own sentences and try out vocab in context. that's a wonderful feature, and i really think it gets at something duolingo is completely missing.

but yeah like i said in terms of the lessons, busuu has very strange ways of teaching things. firstly, it's usually super specific topics and vocab that aren't paired with anything conceptually that helps you progress. usually in a language course, it's best to pair a concept you're working on with either relevant vocab or something that can be used to talk about similar subjects/in similar ways (for instance, subjunctive with food/restaurant vocab, so that you can build sentences both with the new vocab and using the new verbal form in ways that make sense, i.e. "I'll have whatever she's having, If I were to order the pasta, I would get a salad too," "If I were richer, I would always order filet mignon" (side note subjunctive is very difficult for eng speakers so idk if these examples actually make sense 😭))

also busuu will repeatedly teach me something phrased one way or with a certain word and then mark me wrong and insist i use a completely different word/phrase. i cannot figure out why it keeps doing this it's very frustrating. and it has recently been teaching me some european portuguese which is not what the course is supposed to be so i'm just baffled by what's going on there.

another positive for busuu, at least in contrast to duolingo, is it teaches you the vocab and phrases before quizzing you on them, which duolingo does not do. this is like a positive and also an "eh, idk" because i get why duolingo does that-- it's trying to throw you into using surrounding context to figure out what a word means, and that's a very good way to practice, but i think it doesn't necessarily achieve it well and sometimes will just spring random words on you without enough context for you to know what it's referring to without just clicking on the word anyway.

also neither app are good at teaching you verb conjugation or tenses which is really unfortunate for spanish and portuguese in particular, as they're both languages where verbs are really really key AND where understanding tenses and their names are important, particularly for native eng speakers who never got taught tense names or like. any terminology for languages in english 🙃

also here is a thing i wrote up complaining about duolingo & verbs ages ago: Duolingo does not teach you things explicitly. It expects you to pick them up in a semi-immersive style, which works okay most of the time for most people but for many people makes actually learning and understanding parts of a language very difficult. For instance, it won't teach you the exact difference in usage between ser and estar, in Spanish or Portuguese. This difference is something I spent weeks on in Spanish class in high school and continued to review the rest of my time learning Spanish in an academic setting-- it is a key element of two of the most important words in the language. Duolingo also doesn't explain stem changes or irregular verbs and their typical endings-- it simply expects you to pick these up and memorize them through sentence usage. Basically it's very obvious Duolingo was created by english speakers who were never taught key elements of their own language (this is not a dig on their personal fault; i was also never taught any of this shit about english) and don't know how to go about teaching a language, and the limited format doesn't help.

third thing, finally getting to what you actually asked: there are a lot of resources for learning spanish online! i'm not as familiar with them as i'd like, as i learned spanish in an academic setting, but i'll do my best to list some things out and anyone else can feel free to add on. i've been meaning to make a language learning advice post for literally ages and i guess this is going to become it lmao.

here is a video explaining how to make duolingo work for you along with other resources: A Linguist explains how to make duolingo actually work (tl;dr pair duolingo with conversation partners, textbook work, listening to music, watching movies, etc. etc.)

i've tagged this with my language learning tag, which has a bunch of resources including some specifically for learning spanish.

tumblr user salvador bonaparte has a drive of free textbooks you can check out here, including a ton of spanish resources. i also recommend looking around the internet/specifically linguistics tumblr to find more resources as well as looking at used bookstores/amazon/etc. for spanish textbooks to use, as that will provide a more thorough foundation along with other programs/types of learning.

i've never used babbel or any other online program like it, but spanish tends to be one of the more resource-heavy languages because it's so widely spoken, so typically spanish programs on various apps/sites are REALLY thorough (duolingo's spanish program is by far their best course, with a ton more resources than most other programs. you can go up to the equivalent of at least c2 on there i believe, versus many other languages where they don't even list the CEFR levels)

finally, the not-so-online answer: if you're in college/have a nearby community/junior college, consider taking spanish classes there! this option probably costs the most out of any others, but i genuinely think an academic setting is the a great way to learn a language for many people. if you're not one of them, that is totally fine, but an actual spanish course at a college is likely to be the most thorough way to learn the language. also many CCs/JCs offer spanish classes online, so if you can't drive or for whatever reason can't go to in-person courses, you'll likely still have options.

this is everything i can think of right now but i also want to add once again that learning a language is difficult!!! i know that, and i know that i complain a lot about monolinguals, but i am specifically complaining about people who refuse to engage respectfully with languages that are not their own and dismiss anything they don't understand as being stupid/not worth their time/culturally worthless. i am not complaining about people like you, who are trying really hard to engage with non-english content AND are trying really hard to learn another language.

i also think learning languages is one of the most incredible experiences there are and that expanding the kinds of cultural and social boundaries that you engage with is a really important facet of humanity that i wish more people would participate in. i get riled up because this is something i'm really truly passionate about, not because i think anyone is stupid or whatever for not learning. i want people to just try it and give it a chance, even if it's hard for them, and i'm glad that you are trying, anon. <333

[unlirise]

🖋️ 240527 • mon

i wanted to start off this week with something productive. ive already gotten into a rough start by waking up late. i should be stricter with myself so that i can get things done on time. a week of productivity should not be followed by a week of the opposite. especially when it's easy to get carried away by relaxation and other leisurely activities.

to start it off, i did some journaling and decided to put a bit more effort into its layout and composition. later when i get back from my haircut, i'm hoping to make even more progress on my thesis.

ik ive been saying this over and over, maybe i should have a visual tracker so that i can see how much it's moving as well as to actually motivate me to finish it off. the revisions are done but because of the changes in my methodology i might have to make changes to the instrument. these are taking quite some time... especially since i'm doing this thesis solo and research isn't exactly my strongest suit.

rant ahead if you want to keep reading

i'm kinda excited to get my haircut, though. i wish i could say i was very excited but i can't enjoy it because of how controlling my parents are abt it.

not to trauma dump on the internet but it's my blog so here goes. my parents are kinda being dumb about me wanting to cut my hair. i initially wanted a bixie cut that was similar to winona ryder's. when i asked my mom (yes, i have to ask permission to cut my hair bc i'm not paying for it and i'm using their money for it), she was quick to make it all about my sexuality (i'm pan). she even ranted to my grandma about it. so i'm getting a layered bob cut instead, but my parents are adamant that i go to this family friend hairdresser so that he can advise me (?) on how to cut and maintain it (??) so that it looks good on the graduation pictures (???????). that threw me off bc the reasons why i want to cut my hair are:

it's flipping hot, my guy, the humidity isn't giving my hair gets so brittle and dry. ik i can just tie my hair up but sometimes i don't want to bc i need it to breathe. but i don't want to have to feel my hair act as a towel, collecting my nape sweat.

i never liked having long hair. it's too much work for me. the constant hair brushing, the longer showers, the long hair drying, and the long strands getting everywhere? i've never been able to properly take care of long hair. i prefer shorter hair bc it's easier to maintain and easier to style. and personally, i think it suits me so much more.

but my parents want me to keep my hair long for a bunch of graduation pictures that i won't even be taking right now since i'm not graduating this year.

and my mom? i don't understand but ever since i came out as pan to her, she never truly made steps to understand what that means. ugh, idk. might make a long post abt this sometime in the future.

[splatzzlive]

bit of a rant/vent cause i realised something

(skip to second paragraph for stuff abt my yt)

if yall didnt know, im trans. idk wth i am but i label myself as mascbeing (masc-presenting person just existing) and i used to have really bad dysphoria but ever since my parents started calling me my preffered name and pronouns (even if they dont when im not around) ive found myself almost competely rid of it. like ive stopped wearing binders because i didnt care as much anymore and partly because they were wrecking my body. i knew that being accepted by the people around you could help, but i didnt realise it was that much. my parents are really consevative which i didnt know until recently and they are seriously comvinced this is a phase even tho its lasted like 5 years but i somehow convinced myself they werent. after finally accepting that they dont beleive me ive been getting worse again. i still dont wear my binders but i get dysphoria over other things and i think i need to go back to therapy but my therapist didnt beleive i was trans either. she was a christian therapist and the second i mentioned wanting to go on hrt she brushed it off and sad "medication isnt always the solution" as if i havent been dealing with these feelings for five fucking years and it seriously made me hate her after all the good she did for me. wow i had so many more feeling than i thought i did lol this was supposed to be positive um anyway...

ive been taking a really long break from youtube for my mental health but it hasnt gotten much better so tomorrow after my exam im gonna record the next episode for my minecraft series. see yall on sunday hopefully with that video! <3

also i changed my pronouns because ive found i dont actually like he/him. they/them isnt super god either but i dont mind it much! id prefer if yall used literally any neopronouns but ive specified hx/hxm/hxself (said hix/hem/hixself/hemself), star/stars/starself and bun/buns/bunself! thank you!!

thank you so much for reading and dealing with my emotional shit lol

take care of yourselves, drink water and eat if you havent yet today, brush your teeth and take your meds, i love yall /p

[lilithpleasant]

some sims questions!!!!

tagged by @pooklet ty!!

What’s your favorite Sims death?

oh gosh, okay, tbh, in general idk if i have a favorite, i do like a classic death by old age just because it makes me feel accomplished, lol, but specifically i think it'd have to be the time forrest bonnet died of cardiac explosion the literal second i hit play once i finished building his house 😂

Alpha CC/Semi-realism or Maxis Match?

idk why but i am definitely more maxis match for ts4 and semi-realistic for ts2? it just feels RIGHT to me

Do you cheat your sims weight?

only for my story sims, in the spirit of keeping things semi-consistent between chapters, because i swear sim stede gains weight faster than any sim i've ever played, and sim ed often ends up TOO BUFF from all of his energized swimming 😂 other than that, i do not, i just let them do their own thing. i dont really use too many custom body shapes for ts2, but definitely coming back to it after playing with the diversity in ts4 has been a bit jarring, but also custom body shapes are a lot of work so. idk what the solution is!

Do you move objects?

is this a real question?

Favorite Mod?

HMMMMMMMMMM! i'd say ACR, the shiftable everything mod, and for ts4 of course ye olde wickedwhims 🤭

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

idk whatever the first sims 1 ep was??? i think? my friend had it and we played it at her house in 4th grade (well, she played, i watched because she wouldnt let me actually play it, lol) and then my parents bought it for me that easter and ive been hooked ever since 😂

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

living!!!!!!!!!! absolutely mindfuck to realize that some ppl DONT pronounce it that way 😂

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

ed and stede in ts4, altho i didn't TECHNICALLY make their bases, but i have done sooooo much to them and i am so attached they are like my children

prob val in ts2, lol, i am big on fandom sims i guess!!!!

Have you made a simself?

yeah!!!!! in ts2 and 4!

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

uhhhhh, like, for ts4? probably a pink, ofc, lol. natural colors??? idk no preference!

Favorite EA hair?

this is so specific idk i mostly use custom hairs tbh

Favorite life stage?

young adult/adult in ts4 and adult in ts2 for sure

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

oh both! i love gameplay but i also have to have it very aesthetically pleasing, if it's not fun for me to look at im not interested

Are you a CC creator?

yeeeeeee @ailuromancys

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

@angelapleasant @dirk-dreamer @simper-fi are all sim friends who i have formed lasting irl friendships with 🥰 altho i am soooo bad at keeping in touch with ppl anymore and i feel so bad abt that, they are still my favorites

@pooklet is top tier as well!!! 😊

@emperorofthedark i know it's been ages but you also!!!!!!!

Do you have any sims merch?

...no?

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

oh my god, no. the way i alternate between normal speed and triple speed should be outlawed, i cannot imagine it would be any fun to watch AT ALL

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

i think mostly i've gotten better at taking and editing pics? gos was pretty much my introduction to sims cc (with the exception of some sailor moon skins/heads i had for ts1 that my dad had to help me install 😂) so that had a HUGE influence on my style that i never really strayed from. i think i toned it down a bit in ts4, but at my core, i am still very neon/grunge oriented

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

@pooklet @skulldilocks currantpotpie @angelapleasant @dirk-dreamer @leaf-storm @simmer-until-tender do you see a theme here?

How long have you had Simblr?

2010 i think! holy shit.

How do you edit your pictures?

for tumblr i crop them to 800x500, use the honeycomb psd (with a vibrance layer added) and then use pooklet's sharpening action

What expansion/gamepack is your favorite?

HMMMMMMM. this is a tough one. possibly seasons for ts2? ts4 i cannot even say, because there are so fucking many lmfao it's disgusting 😂

taggin whoever wants to do this!!!!

[candiedapplez]

I ask you all of the questions from that one reblog. Good luck/nf/j

Omg ok this will be a while then tehehehehehehhe im not complaining though!!!! Heres the questions so u can look at the questions and the answers!

1.this one is OBVIOUS!!! A-90 and Opheebop!!! DUUUUUUUH!

2.lighter. Ive never used a match before

3.ew no!!! I don't want buggies crawling in my room while im sleeping!!!! However i have before!

4. Aaaaaa ive never really gotten into that stuff so i cant really give an answer-

5. A really dark brown!!

6. Oops i did that again???

7. Well idk ive used both and they are both work really well! however i do think scrunchies are safer for your hair, i use normal hair ties more often because scrunchies are more bulky and yeah i dont prefer that, but both are great!

8. Six. I have six.

9.NONE! COFFE IS GROSS BLEEEEEEGH!!

10. Ofc!!

11. Does drawing count?

12. Good day!!!!! I havent cried yet so-

13. Not too long ago, like an hour ago actually. I had pizza! (Incase u were wondering)

14. HELL YEAH!!!

15. Nope and i never want to be 😗

16. NoooooOoOoO-

17. Nope i have perfect vision muah

18. I DONT WANNA SAY TEHE! (Sry)

19. Yea ofc!!! But they probably wont turn out good…

20. Soda…. Ive never seen or heard anyone say pop before….

21. Plushies!!!! I have a unicorn plush my old friend (we dont talk anymore since she moved) gave me for my 7th bday!!!! Yes i remember when, yes i still have it! And its in perferct condition!!! Also there was this one kid who ig had a crush on my and he gave me a basket full of stuff for valentines day and i still have said basket-

22. I have no clue what this means? I guess sensitive?

23. Love it!!!!!

24. Eating :] (and joking abt pushing each other off probably/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE)

25. Aaaa i use all of them but i use lotion most so ig lotion?

26. Idk what to say for this one aaaaaagh

27. Like 5 i think? Ive been getting better with my sleep time!!!!

28. Not anymore, our school last year said we could take them off, however i was SO insecure about my face (still am, but not as much as before) so i would wear it every single day. If i showed up to school without one people got surprised. I stopped wearing them this year, however.

29. Hot????

30. THE FUCKING WATER BOTTLES!!!!

31. Theres a lot, i dont wanna get into it 😵‍💫

32…… is that a thing? People have favorite towels??

33. Hm my school took us on a field trip to a high school so we can see animals if that counts… (i have pictures btw if u wanna see them! We saw pigs, sheep, cows and bunny! I didnt take pic of bunny tho 😢)

34. LITERALLY EVERY SIX THE MUSICAL SONG HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (the only ones i might mess up on are aywd and idnyl bc aywd is long and i dont listen to idnyl often)

35. Pst!!

36. Only once! My username used to have a 0 between the words (Candied0applez) but i changed it bc it made it sound like i candied no apples… but i was originally going to be called caramelapplez but i thought candied sounded better heheh)

37. The friend i mentioned earlier i met first day of kindergarden, her name is Alana, and this other girl Maya i met before kinder! We met eachother at a park and when we walked home we found out we were neighbors so we instantly became besties! (We still are to this day but she lives 30 mins away so i dont see her often-(

38. All…?

39. Sometimes!

40. Ice cream!!!

41. Empty. Coffee is gross

42. Hahahah yt, roblox and occasionally twitter!

43. HAND IT OVER BITCH!

44. Myself/j fucking donald trump 🤮👈🖕

45. NO ☺️

46. Oh god i dont watch any 🫢

47. | v

this actually was to the other girl i mentioned earlier! Maya! I found baby pictures of us when we were in 2nd-3rd grade and i showed her today!!!

48. Never and i dont plan on ever!

49. Never tried

50. GO AHEAD I GET SO EXCITED WHEN IM TAGGED IN SOMETHING AAAAA!

omg that took forever!!! Gosh i dont mind though!!! These were fun questions! Aaaaaaaa i enjoyed that tyty!

[quantumstarpaths]

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍.

— BASICS! ♡

NAME: jamie

PRONOUNS:  they/them

ZODIAC SIGN: scorpio

TAKEN OR SINGLE: single

— THREE FACTS! ♡

my kitty cat had to get his teeth cleaned yesterday and now he has a naked strip on his ankle from the anesthesia  

i love...b horror movies. like, vincent price, yk? i'm too much of a baby to actually enjoy real horror movies but i love them when they're stupid.

um! idk. im watching the mandalorian rn. its almost over. thats not a good fact. the fact is that im not good at fun facts.

— EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED: umm neopets, tapatalk, various little forums, tumblr, text, discord sometimes.

PLOTTING / WINGING IT / MEMES: i love winging it and memes. i don't dislike plotting, i'm just not very good at it and it makes me feel like im not really offering anything, but i'm not completely against it.

— MUSE PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER: mostly male. it's not really a preference so much as just that the majority of people ive written have been.

MULTI OR SINGLE MUSE: i have both. for a long time i just had single muses, but then i brought all my lower activity muses over to a single blog, and thats still low but then at least i dont have a bunch of essentially empty blogs. and i do love it i love how easy it is.

LEAST FAVOURITE FACECLAIM(S): nat.alie dor.mer JKSHDF no reason just because i was on tumblr in 2012 where every person in the world used her. also?? jen.na col.eman? for the same reason? like i dont care if you use them i just feel like theyre so popular im tired of lookin at them sdkhf

— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡

FLUFF: i love it. i love soft shit. everythings so difficult all the time i love when characters are soft. love to write it love to think about it.

ANGST: i! i love hurt/comfort. i love. emotional angst. but! ive known people where it's...all the time. and not in a fun way. like constantly theres something wrong and it doesn't allow for anything but. focusing on that. and i hate that. i like angst, but i need it to not be every single thing, you know? like? i love making paul sad. but i also need him to be happy now and then. unless its hurt comfort. literally idc. always. any time.

SMUT:  i! its a little awkward for me, so i really prefer it to be with someone i know, but like...i kinda love it. ive gotten into it more lately just like by myself writing some oc shit but like...its fun. and i always enjoy talking about in a less writing sense too. i love talking about my characters having sex. im admitting. i dont care. even if pauls less than welcoming about it sometimes with anyone but hugh always.

Tagged by: @nebulaties Tagging: you :]! 

[realcowboysdrinkjuice]

hello Alexander i hope this message reaches you in good health. in the tags of a recent post you described being able to find roleplay partners when you wanted to even with social anxiety. pray tell how did you do this. thank you for your assistance. warmly, anon y mouse

Hi!!!! first off disclaimer- i haven’t done any roleplay in agessss so hopefully all of this still applies in this age of the internet!

but when i was a lot younger i first started out by roleplaying a ton on my own minecraft server (my dad works with computers so he set one up for me and my sister in like 2011/2012) and i played with a lot of people from school from me or my sisters classes which was nice because we both had a degree of control over it since it was Our server and it was a small group of people. to be fair i was also a child so even though i wasn’t medicated yet i probably had a lot less learned anxiety at the time even if i still had the shit i was born with lmao cause there’s definitely some things i struggle with now that i didn’t as a young kid since i just didn’t think about them as much then.

after that a ton of people moved to skype and we roleplayed a TON there and that was when i was a bit older so it was fandoms and things i was actually interested in whereas in minecraft it was random stuff or our own storylines or someone’s cousin was really into assassins creed and i didn’t (and still don’t) know a single thing about the game but really wanted to roleplay anyway lmao.

honestly after skype i didn’t really roleplay very much after that even though i did it daily as a kid/early teen BUT i was still finding some ways to make friends which can be transferable to this if they also like roleplay :)!! i don’t have many friends currently idk if covid fucked me up that bad or if i’ve just gotten worse at it over time so this feels a slight bit hypocritical since i’m not following my own advice super well at the moment lol but discord is HUGE. obviously you have to be super careful but ive made a lot of online friends by joining discords servers. even when i had to lurk for a day or two before i got comfortable (and i had people encouraging me when i admitted to that) even though i would still be an anxious wreck for a while if i met online folks irl they are still so so important to me and helped me so much, especially since i have an easier time talking online. smaller discords can be good if large groups of people are intimidating but bigger ones are good if you’re worried about being singled out and want to hide in the crowd. irl i feel like the ideal group of people is three cause if i stop talking it’s not awkward since there’s still two other people, but online i don’t really mind how many people there are since it’s a lot easier of a disconnect since im just looking at words on a screen. discord is also where i played dnd for the first time! i was 15 and i barely knew anyone there but i was obsessed w the adventure zone in early high school and really wanted to try it so i pushed through that anxiety. tbh now i think i might prefer just watching (definitely cause of the social anxiety but oh well i think that’s still a valid as hell way to enjoy the game) but im so glad i found an environment where i felt safe enough to try it even though tbh i barely remember the experience so i must have been so nervous holy shit.

i’ve never used them so i can’t attest to how great they are but tons of people roleplay on online forums! i used to use a website called chicken smoothie where you collect pets and trade and shit but they had a HUUUUGGGEEE forum where tons of people were roleplaying there, and since it’s a forum it feels like it would be slower paced even though i was personally a bit nervous about the formality of the ones i saw.

honestly just tl;dr it’s still so scary but i promise you there’s people out there who are also nervous and i think creating a story with real people is just so much rewarding then anything character ai sites can do. and i think making online friends is an invaluable resource for stuff like that, especially since it’s a lot easier to hit the bricks if you get scared, especially since for me personally im selectively mute and that’s not really an issue over text so that’s one less worry i have to deal with. but i really hope you can find those people because i have so many find memories of roleplaying with my friends growing up since that was most of my social experiences (not sure how to phrase that) came from since i was so anxious at school and literally didn’t talk to barely anyone like kids in my class straight up learned to talk to teachers for me cause they knew i wasn’t going to do it so hanging out with people online was so important.

hopefully at least some of this is helpful- i don’t have a ton of experience since im still only 21 and i also spent all the covid years being stagnant so honestly i don’t even feel 21 so i definitely don’t have all the answers but that’s what i found worked for me growing up. a lot of it is just pretending you aren’t as scared as you are and just being honest with people because in my experience they’re usually really understanding about you being nervous cause everyone has been there even if it’s not to the same degree. ALSO second disclaimer- im not in therapy (tried several times but i’ve never been able to talk to the therapist which is kind of an important part of therapy) so take all of this with a grain of salt because i have no clue if any of my coping mechanisms are healthy but i haven’t died yet so i guess im doing something right?

sorry this is so long lmao and i have no clue how helpful it is

[like-wuatafauq]

Hey! Hope u are having a wonderful day!

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

For me valentine is just another day, I never have somebody to celebrate with. So just another boring day.

Some ask to pass the time!

1. do you like being the center of attention or do you prefer to go unnoticed?

2. are you a talkative person?

3. what do you consider red flags in a relationship?

Hello! Thank you ahhh I like the cat cuz funny enough I actually just had my cats outside in the balcony area so that was nice for all of us:) got some sun in! And I would say "sorry to hear that" but some people are not into romance so I'm not gonna assume you want a partner or like romance so maybe it's nice for you🤔

1. I like it if it has to do with performing. I took an acting class for college and I really liked it and since the little bit of theatre I did in highschool I've gotten more confidence and had fun doing performances. So I like performing but I don't have to be like the complete center I could be part of a group and enjoy it just as much.

2. Yes if it's something I'm interested in

3. Oooof 🚩🚩🚩

talking to exes or anybody they were interested in

not communicating

trying to win an argument rather than stating your side and working it out

not putting the same care or effort

making you feel dramatic for just showing emotions

keeping secrets or big lies

lying about past sexual encounters or any previous stds

judging your partner for their interests,culture or sexual preference in bed, judging or pressuring partner for sex or during sex

making fun of appearances (teasing isn't included I'm talking about like backhanded comments about weight or things they can't or wouldn't want to change)

Being rude towards my or their pets, not caring about my things (for example ive had someone kick to the side one of my art[small might i add] boxes with my materials like I'm always very careful when i touch other ppls things cuz idk what it could mean to them)

not giving reassurance or guilt tripping for reassurance

immediately wanting to break up when obstacles appear

yelling and throwing things at partner there's a difference in for example: if I ever upset my partner and they need to yell it out [because anger is an emotion that usually needs to be physically let out] I would probably take them somewhere where it's just me and them and let them scream out what they need to scream which is completely different than automatically yelling and blaming,throwing things at me,and abusing me

wanting the relationship to look a certain way to please people there's a big big difference in having a private relationship and completely changing the relationship dynamic just to please someone like family,friends, coworkers especially if your partner is not ok with it

not getting to know your partner or not continuing to take them out on dates!!!

Having different political views Ik this seems like a "oh that's not so bad" but I'm talking about when it's fucking drastic like the political views they have could hinder their partners life

trying to change your partner or hinder their growth

giving them ultimatums about their passions and career like I feel there should be an agreement where it meets in the middle

purposefully trying to hurt them mentally, physically or emotionally etc (kinks don't count lol it has to be consensual of course)

if you were talking to someone else during the talking phase and then got into a relationship with me I'd be like??? Wtf if you wanna keep your options open that's a you thing but I wouldn't want to have someone be like okay ama settle here especially without the partner knowing they were talking to someone else

doing romantic gestures for someone who isn't your partner you may think it's no big deal to give your friend flowers etc. But if your partner states it makes them uncomfortable or they see it as cheating then listen to them, this goes hand in hand with not communicating or following through with what your partner would see as cheating

Trying to completely dismiss a past argument that wasn't talked about (there's a difference in clinging onto the past to guilt trip someone and bring back up a disagreement that your partner didn't feel they had closure in and need closure in order to move forward)

addictions especially if they cause you to harm your partner

outing your partner about something embarrassing if its an accident and you were just teasing its one thing but if they told you not to mention it and you do it again and again that's fucked up (this one kinda goes with the next one)

not owning up to toxic behaviors sometimes you may not know you were coming off a certain way but if they bring it up to you don't just be like "how was I manipulative etc" and completely dismiss how it made them feel

completely switching things up on a partner about future plans for example if you're unsure about kids don't stay with someone for a long time telling them you want kids then switch it up just be honest (so basically be honest about future plans so you can work through it)

[Sorry that was a lot but just be honest, and clear about the things you want and are comfortable with and don't try to make your partner feel bad ik you could eventually hurt your partners feelings cuz what may not affect you could affect them but like don't go seeking it especially if they let you know]

[morethanonepage]

1, 5, 10, 15, for the Star Wars ship of your choice.

I’m going to do FinnPoe bc i can and they always need more content

1. Who cooks?

i mean obviously definitely poe at first, because his dad and grandfather probably had to cook for him as a kid and he’s type to have learned from them, while finn was at best probably put on the equivalent of potato peeling duty when a stormtrooper. of course in actually it was probably like. washing dishes and/or squeezing nutrition packs onto plates or something bc the FO had everyone on super controlled and not very fun diets. 

so first finn would have to learn about the different possibilities of food, and then maybe learn how to cook it. whereas poe probably learned to cook traditional Yavin cuisine (given the Guatemala-coding it would be a lot of starchy food [they make tamales too!] and given the fact that the Dameron farm apparently has orchards that probably also means a lot of fruit). And generally Poe’s got that farm to table vibe. Like he wants the most fresh of materials. 

brb now considering an au where poe runs a stand at a farmers market and finn has the usual au corporate soulless job and idk they meet and flirt w each other every weekend 

i feel like in general poe would be a great cook bc he could come at it from different traditions: his dad having the ‘putting together a decent meal with whatever you can forage/identify as non toxic on a random planet while doing something space marine-y’, and his grandfather could have more like. a regular kitchen and supplies to work with. 

5. Who buys the groceries?

As referenced above Poe probably would prefer to grow the groceries/get them from his dad but on planets/in situations where it’s not possible I think they’d go together. Not to go to the ‘Finn needs someone to teach him what [x thing he was never exposed to in the FO] is’ well TOO often but again, Poe is more or less well adjusted and a capable human; I feel like Finn and Rey would be the blind leading the blind if they went grocery shopping together (tho she would get better prices, probably). 

10. Any pets? Or plants?

BB8 is probably as close to a pet as Poe has gotten in a while. With him being a farmboy I sort of...headcanon him as maybe slightly less sentimental when it comes to animals? Like he likes them fine and he gets the idea of pets but if there were any dog-equivalents at the Dameron’s I feel like they were working animals. And otherwise Poe mostly seems to be into like -- wild animals in their natural habitats (the birds thing, etc). 

On the other hand, Finn deserves a pet of his own imo. I mean maybe he would start with a plant -- the idea of keeping something else alive might be a good first step post-war -- and maybe eventually he could work his way up to something else. I think he’s used to routines and the routine of having to take care of an animal would be comforting, as would having a something (pet, plant, droid) of his own after most of his life of having nothing that was just his would be nice.

15. Vacation ideas: who decides them? Where would they go, if anywhere?

ok well obviously the first vacation they go on together is back to Yavin IV. romping around the jungle and checking out the old Rebellion base AND the old pyramids AND everywhere Poe hung out as a kid/got dragged out to by his dad when they were doing wilderness training or w/e.

but after that (maybe even starting with that) poe comes with a list of places he’s been that finn might like, or places he’s always wanted to go that finn might like, and finn does his own travel research (maybe part of the effort to find his family/where he came from) and post war Poe’s like ‘perfect, i’ll fly you there immediately.”

[introdemodev]

demo update demo update

or, update about the demo.

about the game

total length of the demo is about an hour, maybe an hour and a half if you read and play through everything. 2 hours if you read as slow as possible. it was supposed to be 4 hours but then I thought....."hey. the player won't be able to transfer their save to the full game". that means diya and darcys mini game won't be in the demo anymore. awwwww. you'll still get to play clyde’s minigames though (he has two in the demo).

ive mentioned this before, but there are two endings for this game but there’s many many many ways to get there. aside from choices, theres three paths you can take: you can take the darcy path, diya path, or the ??? path. the third one is not in the demo but will be in the final game.

(ok breaking my no more sharing screenshot rule but after today there will be no more unless I've shared them before lol)

so....if there is a diya and darcy minigame, does that mean there’s a ??? minigame too? yes, and it’s very cute.

art

the art and animation is done!!! for real this time, it's done. woooo!!!! thats...if you don't count sprites. hehe. :^) there are three sprites i want to edit and be done with for good: wren, diya and darcy. I finalized wren’s design a while ago so their old design is still in the game. as for diya and darcy, i just want to make small lil changes. so nothing to redraw, except for wren’s head.

look at them. that’s not wren. where are their horns?????? why is their hair brown??? no.

there's also some other things I want to do too, like change the layout for clydes pop quiz minigame. but thats only if I have time because 1) it’s extra art to make. 2) it’s not that necessary. I really want this demo out before June, or, preferably, before the end of April, and then have the full game release in fall/winter. if God wills it.

not to spoil anything (im spoiling something) but clyde gives you another pop quiz later in the full game, so it’s something i want to add eventually.

writing

after working on this game for a very long time now, ill say that writing took the most amount of my time, and also learning how to write script. the latter has gotten a lot easier esp because renpy is easy to learn and there’s a ton of guides online for it too. 

im proofreading the script a thousand times + making sure i didnt leave any plot holes. like, i’ll think i corrected all grammar errors then i’ll find something like this ten mins ago.

oh and ig this shouldve went under the game section but im writing this as i go. anyways. i also gotta play the game a million times to make sure everything works and is functional. so far, so good, i havent run into any bugs. but, i also havent played through EVERY possible choice yet.

sound and other stuff

okay. so. my original plan was to have id’s soundtrack composed of music in the public domain or free to use. for the demo, i’m still debating on doing this, or, just having the game be silent aside from ambience and sound effects. for the full game, i do plan on commissioning an original soundtrack when i’m nearing completion.

and uhhhhhhhhhh what else what else....idk, i had more to say here but i dont remember lol. i just been playing around with more renpy tutorials, especially for imagemaps and functions and stuff like that.

aaaaand that’s about it! this is just stuff off the top of my head. if i remember anything else ill bring it up later. i wanted to talk more about the actual story and characters but then i risk spoiling everything. there’s only so much you can say about a visual game ya know.

and again, thanks for being patient!! im really excited to get this game out. :D

[zeawkwardpterodactyl]

About me!

Hello everyone! 

Some basics about me: 

My name is Ace 

I use she/they pronouns, but I’m cool with being referred to as pretty much anything other than “man” (and insults ofc), so like “bro”, “dude”, “queen”, whatever works for you. 

I’m bisexual! As a fanfiction writer, this comes in handy imo because I can write for both girl groups and boy groups romantically.

My sun sign is Libra, my moon sign is Virgo, and my rising is Sagittarius.

My MBTI is INTJ 

In case you couldn’t already tell from some of my writing, I live in the US. I’d prefer not to share any other information about my location, though.

I’m a college student. I’m working on my Bachelor’s, but I haven’t picked a major yet. (So yeah, be warned that I can’t get stuff out super fast all the time.)

My hobbies

Idk if this counts as a hobby, but I am obviously a kpop fan. I’ve been into kpop for a surprisingly short amount of time in comparison to some of the other writers on here (since late summer/early fall of 2021). 

I absolutely love music and any art related to music-- singing, instruments, both contemporary and classical dance, and I’m learning how to produce songs (I actually got into this because of skz lol). 

There’s just one issue: I’m terrible at all of those things. I’m definitely built for mental activities, not physical ones. My voice is pretty terrible, too. I have a guitar and a piano, but I still live at home, so the amount of noise I can make is limited, so I haven’t gotten too much practice on either of those things yet. 

I love reading and writing! Yes, even outside of fanfiction. I stick to YA and fantasy novels for the most part, but that’s not a hard and fast rule. I don’t read as much as I would like to though since I struggle with motivation (mental health tings lol). 

Other than that, I enjoy baking, journaling, astrology, Dungeons and Dragons, attempting to learn languages, and ofc being lazy sometimes and just watching TV.  

The groups I like!

My favorite groups are Stray Kids and Seventeen!

I tend to like groups that have some role in producing their songs, seem like people I could vibe with, and show support for causes I support (ie, LGBTQ+ rights, addressing racial injustice, women’s rights, animal welfare, etc.) 

The groups that I casually stan are Tomorrow x Together, Oneus, Ateez, Xdinary Heroes, Twice, Itzy, Mamamoo, Dreamcatcher, Blackpink, (G)-Idle, Kep1er, and IVE.

Some groups that I’ve been wanting to get into are BTS, Wei, WJSN, fromis_9, Purple Kiss, Loona, IZ*ONE, Pixy, Gfriend/Viviz, Billlie, Day6, A.C.E, BTOB, and The Boyz.

I wouldn’t say I really have biases, there are just certain members that catch my attention the most when I’m getting into a group (ie, Bang Chan from Stray Kids or Vernon from Seventeen), but as I get to know a group better, I like them all equally.      

Important notes!

I don’t really have any DNI rules right now. Like, I don’t want terrible people on my blog, but I don’t think there’s anything I can do to stop them from reading my stuff so

Feel free to ask me anything! Just know that I have boundaries and will interact with your asks accordingly. If I don’t answer an ask, it’s probably just because it’s something I’m not comfortable talking about. 

Be warned: I swear quite a bit, and a lot of my work can be heavily suggestive.

HOWEVER, I do not write straight-up smut. I’d say my sort of work should be rated something along the lines of TV-14, some of my work is definitely for mature audiences, but not necessarily 18+

For information on tags, check out the tag directory 

Before requesting anything, please read my request/blog rules

[maccreadysimp]

breaking down this anti-ian article bc it bothers me ( from the child of a bipolar mother and a male teen with same sex attraction ) while also providing valid reasons ian sucks ( from someone who likes ian )

ive had this drafted for a while so i dont think i cover anything from season 11

tw for i^cest and r^pe

he was with a married man

in this point it points out that he was with kash and he continued his relationship with kash even after linda put cameras in the store

“Ian didn't seem to care about how wrong his affair with Kash was or how much it could hurt Kash's wife Linda, whom he saw at the store regularly. “

that is a quote from that part.

ian gallagher was fifteen in season one, kash was an older man who bought him gifts and payed attention to ian ,, that was not on ian , none of that was ian fault because he was a child

ian wasnt open with lip

“ Ian didn't tell Lip about his preferences and forced Lip to figure it out on his own. Lip was instantly accepting of his brother's truth and even offered to help him figure out any confusion he might be harboring, so it's really strange that Ian wasn't just upfront with his closest confidant from the start.”

no , lip wasnt forced to figure it out on his own and he also wasn’t instantly accepting.

in this point it mentions that ‘they’re extremely close ( bestfriends and brothers ) so its strange ian didnt tell him’

like point 1 , ian is a fifteen year old boy, growing up on the southside , and thoughout the show it has mentioned multiple times that the southside isnt that accepting

back to lip -- lip wasnt accepting, sure he was fine but ‘helping your younger brother figure it out’ by having a (female) classmate give him a blowjob isnt helping

he secretly dated his best friends brother

“Most friends have an unspoken rule about not dating each other's siblings, but Ian broke this rule by secretly entering into a relationship with Mandy's closeted brother Mickey.”

the only thing i have to say about this is , he was still with kash and mickey was a boy in his age group who was gay , growing up in the southside ian probably thought he was the token gay so of course hes going to chase after mickey

he stood by as kash attacked mickey

“Ian didn't do anything to stop Kash from shooting his new lover, and didn't even tell the police about his boss' over-the-top display of jealous action so proper justice could be served.”

okay. because two men he had fallen for had gotten into a fight, there was a gun involved and he panicked, in the end after mickey got shot he went to him

now to address the quote, he didnt say anything to the police because he probably knew that that would bring shame onto kash and his family, along with mickey and his family who are very homophobic

oh yeah and it was like 2011 and cops suck and THEY LIVE ON THE SOUTHSIDE

he and lip tried framing terry milkovich

oh the homophobic and racist dad of his boyfriend and bestfriend who tried to kill him and r*ped his daughter ?

yeah , shit man , that was real bad they shouldn’t have done that /s

he dated jimmy-steves married father

“Ian didn't bother telling Jimmy the truth about his father and didn't end his relationship with Lloyd upon finding out that he had a secret wife and family, either.”

at this point ian is probably sixteen but that doesnt matter bc i wont even address that

he met him at a club and then used his relationship with ned to make mickey jealous which was one of the reasons he kept seeing him, he didnt tell jimmy-steve about the relationship or his father bc he shouldnt find out from him he should find out from his father , again like kash, ned was an older man who payed attention to ian and ned later did develop feelings feelings for ian

he stole lips identity to enlist in the army

he enlisted because he didnt know what to do with himself, its implied/stated that the army timeline was the start of his bipolar

“While impersonating Lip, Ian had tried to steal a helicopter and then proceeded to go AWOL.”

this is because of the bipolar he suffers from, it is referenced later in the series after he gets back and hes manic

ian refused to accept being bipolar

of course he didnt accept it, it is made very clear that his family thinks lowly of monica so of course if hes the lucky duck to get what his siblings demonize her for, of course he’ll not want to be it

“He refused to take medications that could alter his personality or mood.”

okay. this is why im making this whole post, this goes along with part 15 ( or so idk ) ,,

my mother , my dear mother, who is bipolar and doesnt take her meds because they are mood altering , my mom doesnt take med because she told me once that they make her feel like shit, she told me that a little after i was born she started taking them but realized she felt nothing, she felt nothing for my dad or for i ( making her numb )

she told me anti deppresents dont help either because when shes on them and manic it pushes her past productive and into angry

my dad told me that when my mom was on bi polar medication she would seem angry most of the time

he wasnt faitful to mickey

“Ian's bipolar disorder made him very reckless and impulsive and led him to be unfaithful.”

lets break that down.

ians. bipolar. disorder.

this plot point i actually didnt like, mainly bc ian never addresses it so ill give the article a point. but then i take away 2 because they have more of a problem with his bipolar messing with him rather than the fact he never apologized and they never worked it out

ian stole yevgeny

before i start quoting i should mention because his boyfriend, who has supported and helped him is suddenly telling him he needs help, he was helping raise yev so he’ll see yev as his own

“Ian failed to recognize just how crazy he was acting...”

cuting you off right there , he was in a bipolar state, he wasnt ‘crazy’ and isnt ‘crazy’

he cant even keep count of his number of partners

just slutshaming i see

he helped throw frank off a bridge

“His relationship with Frank was understandably never the same after that, as Frank struggled to get over this act of betrayal and cruelty.”

‘was never the same after that’ frank never liked ian, ian was probably his least favorite and that point is very apparent

also , it wasnt just ian , his siblings and his boyfriend caleb

he left a healthy relationship to be with mickey

he fell in love with mickey at 15 , mickey was a comfort and always someone to fall back on, when mickey was taken away and no longer in the picture his heart still obviously was with mickey and when mickey came back he didnt know what to do

he told mickey he had a boyfriend but because mickey has been such a constant in his life he finally has back of course he couldnt resist

he liked trevor, i could tell he did but trevor wasnt the one he watched get r^ped by a russian prostitute, he wasnt the one ian was secretly dating bc it would be a death wish other wise, he wasnt the one there when ian was manic or depressive ( at the start )

he tried blackmailing an old client for money

“Instead of raising the money in an honest manner, Ian chose to visit an old client from his time working at the Fairy Tail and blackmail him into funding the shelter.”

because he felt indebted to trevor and wanted to make it up to him, it would have taken longer to do it in ‘an honest manner’ when his sister would have gotten it instead, he knew how much gay youths like he once was needed a safe place

“He grew up wanting to be nothing like his father, but this whole money-making scheme was straight out of the Frank playbook”

because thats all he knows, he grew up with that ‘playbook’ so of course hes going to take a page out of it, he is nothing like frank , franks money making schemes are selfish and for his own greed while ian wanted the money to help build a safe space for lgbt youth

he let fame inflate his ego

of course he did, hes a southside kid who was destined to fail

also it is very apparent that during the gay jesus era he went off his medication which didnt help

“Before long, he just completely forgot about his ex and focused solely on being a deity”

as much as yes, he did let it mess with his head, he was trying to still help lgbt youth and was going against anti gay churchs , in the end it didnt work out for him because he was off his meds and went over board

he stopped taking his meds

see previous point and ‘ian refused to accept being bipolar’

he actually wanted to stay in prison

because he was doing good in there

ian was helping others and was spreading awareness about lgbt with in the prison , and as him and jail scenes go , we can see people were listening to him and he was trying to make it safe sane and consensual

he let down his army of followers

“Ian admitted that most of his actions were completely irrational and the mere results of his bipolar disorder.”

he didnt want to, we can see this, because he knew he would let down everyone, his family were the only ones to ever ground him and they knew it would be the best option for his own mental health

during the gallavich wedding we can see that a lot of his supporters still have his back because they must know how hard it was for him to put all of that success on something he can’t control

he constantly wasted his potential

this is actually the only point in this article i actually agree with , so only 1/20 i agree with

his relationship with mickey wasn’t actually great

“Mickey spent the first several years of their relationship denying his feelings for Ian.”

he was raised by a homophobic and racist father who he knew would react the way he did when terry had caught the two that one day

“Even after he finally embraced his true self, Ian's bipolar disorder kept them from becoming truly happy together.”

yes but mickey was there for him the entire time and helped him through it, he told him he loved him which was really big for him and did his best to care for him

“They couldn't seem to remain faithful to each other for more than a few weeks.”

back to the point about ians bipolar but for mickey he wanted monogamy , now that scene in s11 may say otherwise but it is very clear that he wants a monogamous relationship with ian and ian ( after getting help ) wants one too, and in the later seasons they are monogamous

“When Mickey asked Ian to run away to Mexico with him, Ian refused.”

he wanted to, it’s obvious, but ian has his family and didnt want to abandon them again, i think part of him knew he would see mickey again because they always find eachother, he gave mickey all of his money and wanted mickey to have a good life

“Their relationship was simply never healthy.”

no it wasnt, but thats why the ship is great in its own way, the gay closet kid raised by a homophobic man is obviously going to have a lot of baggage , and ian who is bipolar and struggling with himself will also have a lot of baggage , but in the end they love eachother and that really shows in season five and season seven specifically

that is all lol ,,, this is long sorry

now, i am not a ian apologist , i love ian but hes a dumbass sometimes

actual valid reasons ian sucks

genuinely believes frank is worse than terry

yes frank was definitely abusive but terry is definitely worse ,,

mentally/physically/sexually abusive , the whole nine yards

terry hired a prostitute to r^pe his son , threatened to kill him and ian on multiple occasions , r^ped his daughter who ended up pregnant and is actively racist

frank on the other hand will make gay jokes but in the end doesnt give enough of a shit , he has attacked his children on multiple occasions but not to the brutality that terry has ( this isnt me excusing it )

sorry ian , terry is worse

never apologized

he never apologized for all the shit he put mickey and his family through, never apologized to mickey for cheating on him , never apologized for all the manic and depressive episodes mickey endured with him

never apologized for walking away when he couldn’t handle it, in hall of shame mickey actually acknowledges this saying ‘its youre whole MO’

debbies sexuality

he has constantly made statements saying debbie isnt gay and that bothers me because , why does it care ? as a gay man and as a gay man who soent time with a lot of lgbt youth wouldnt he support his sister even if shes just ‘experimenting’?

in the recent season he doesnt seem to care and doesn’t say anything but it still bothers me

mickey only getting like 80% of his heart

okay look , i get what ian means when he says this , everyones hes been with has made him who he is but fucking hell dude ,, shut up , thats your husband , thats the love of your life you shouldnt be saying shit like that , especially to him

and then this man had the audacity to say mickey probably feels the same about past flings when he knows that ian is the only one hes probably ever been with/serious about

obviously there is probably more but those are the main ones that come to mind

—

before anyone brings up the trans or bi thing im going to explain my thought process for him

like ive probably mentioned multiple times he grew up southside and obviously only ever grew up with lgb and not t ,, trevor did inform him a lot and ian became supre accepting of everyone,, sexual preference isnt transphobic but i do think he approached the matter badly

now the bi thing , legit all i think is that he doesnt hate bisexual people its just that the man he really liked slept with a woman and never expressed any heterosexual attraction so it probably just suprised him and pissed him off because caleb did cheat on ian

—

if you read this far HOLY SHIT THANKS LOL ,, im not adding things that i think are pro about ian this was just me breaking down that article and giving my two cents :)

feel free to message me and talk to me or send me articles like this about any other character/relationship and i will totally break that one down too lol

thanks for letting me rant

[jfks-phat-cheeks]

hello, may i have some jfk relationship headcanons with an s/o who is usually quiet but is louder the more comfortable they are? idk i just want jfk content and love ur writing !! n e way thank u and take ur time !!

Awww ty 🥺 i tried to write this the best i could! I used to be like this a lot, and i still kinda am (ive gotten better, but that because i had time to work on myself-) anyway I hope you like it anon! :)

Jfk With A Quiet Yet Loud Reader

Okay okay okay let me just say i will firmly stand by my belief that jfk actually prefers the more quiet guys and gals. He likes a good wallflower every now and again.

Like, yeah being around people that adore him and would bend the knee for him is great and all but he would rather hang out with people who can just chill for a hot second.

That’s probably what attracted him to you in the first place.

When you guys first started dating, he didn’t really notice much difference. He was just kinda going alone with your vibes and trying to understand you a little bit more.

I think that if its a gradual comfort change he honestly wouldn’t pick up on it for the longest of times. Literally. It would take him like 5 months.

But if you do a full 180 really fast, he would probably do a double take and ask what happened.

Once you explain to him that you are only like this with people you are comfortable with he feels so honored. Like?? You like him that much?? That you’re comfortable being yourself with him?? Hes so in love.

And if you are ever worried that you are being too obnoxious then by god this boy will be reassuring you in a heartbeat that he loves everything about you. Even if you may be a little loud sometimes, he finds it adorable so dont worry.

After that he definitely started to pick up on more little things about you. He starts to notice who you’re more quiet around and who you are louder around.

At some point he realized that if you have any sort of social anxiety (and if thats why you tend to be more quiet with new people) he will try his best to just be there with you.

(I also feel like he has some social anxiety thats why he walks around all high and mighty. So he absolutely understands you, its just he projects in a different way)

Example; If you are at a party and dont know anyone he will be by your side in an instant to make sure you’re comfortable with the setting. And he will go home automatically if you say that you want to.

Really, jfk adores you and is so happy that you are able to be comfortable around him. No matter how loud you are he will always look at you with stars in his eyes.

[izzyliker]

hey - this is one of the mods of the bi jon project. we don't actually dislike or disagree with pan jon at all, we just want to make a project focused on and celebrating bisexuality. our carrd is a bit rambling, but frankly we were trying our best/overcompensating to try and make sure people didn't misunderstand us and do - well, this. our intentions are good, and it's really kind of disenheartening to see all the hate we've gotten for what was meant to be a positive project. (1)

you're under no obligation to answer these, but i saw some of your posts in the tag and felt like reaching out because you did give us even the tiniest bit of slack in good faith. honestly, if you have any advice about what in our carrd is so overwhelmingly bad, we'd be happy to hear it. we've been trying to respond to the overwhelming amount of criticism we've got in a positive way, and take peoples' suggestions. (2)

as for why 'no anti-antis' was at the bottom of our rules list, it's legitimately bc we were trying so hard to be preventative about this negativity that we forgot to add it when we first posted the blog, and just remembered later. again, you're under no obligation to answer these, i just feel like no one's really actually letting us defend ourselves/are taking things in as bad faith a way as possible. (3)

im not exactly sure how the posts showed up in the tag bc ive been very purposefully not tagging them, also ive blocked all of you back (not sure why you blocked me if you actually want feedback, so it seems more like you just want free positive pr and not actual feedback) so its unlikely youll see whatever it is that i reply to this but whatever. 

the issues have all been repeatedly brought up to you so i dont really see how me repeating all of them once again could help. when i last looked at the cardd the things that stood out immediately included. 

pitting ace & bi identities and people against each other REPEATEDLY,  

starting off with a guilt trippy tone and maintaining it throughout (in my experience this is the #1 best way to receive backlash because people do not want to participate in events where you feel like youre being guilted into it, which going into scrutinizing detail over there not being enough content and passing judgement onto authors or artists over it is something that comes across as guilt trippy.),

repeatedly equating asexuality with sex repulsion (not to get into the misleading information about modteam aspec identity breakdowns, since you claimed that 3/4 of the team are aspec, which is technically correct, but what you didnt say was that only one is acespec. surely you know that [allosexual] aro and [alloromantic] ace are not interchangeable) and calling using biromantic over bisexual a “misunderstanding” of the identity as if how to define romantic vs sexual attraction (how to divide, if or if not to divide, use interchangeably different labels) isnt a deeply personal choice ace people who experience romantic attraction make, 

claiming that bisexual jon is canon (he isn’t. this is why people are suspicious of anti-other mspec identities sentiments. which theyre right, if youll be so kind as to stick around til the last paragraph) and repeatedly implying that the reason there isnt “enough” content centering bi jon because the aces are simply unable to not fixate on his asexuality (again, pitting identities against each other),

making the banned ship list way needlessly confusing and including ships that dont even include jon to it, which simply comes across as some kind of a list of bad ships, idk. a way to bypass this would simply be to say “we are looking for portrayals of healthy relationships!” and that couldve just been it. if you felt that that wouldnt exclude specific ships (eg. jondaisy that a lot of people write as a relationship between trauma survivors who have done very bad things trying to get better and learning to trust each other) it is possible to simply say “the modteam is squicked[/triggered] by ships with daisy/elias/peter and we’d like to read all of the works submitted so we’re asking not to receive submissions with those ships.” hating ships is literally completely normal but making rules hard to parse is going to attract questions, especially when the implication is that ships are excluded on the grounds of morality, and a blatant power difference ship (jonelias) is equated with jondaisy, which is from what ive seen almost exclusively shown to be a relationship between equals. that makes people EXTREMELY confused about where the line is. thats why youre getting so many questions about this.  

in general the carrd was spotty, guilt trippy, and needlessly moralizing where it definitely did not need to be. the key to getting people to engage without getting backlash is to make the event seem fun. when your carrd is filled with stuff about unrelated negative stuff people are not going to think it’s a fun event at all. 

and none of this even gets into the fact that at least one of the mods has a history of open hostility against pan people. i heard through the grapevine that he has since made a fauxpology about it, but frankly it already shone through in the language used in the event descriptions. its extremely hard to take any of this is good faith when it is easy to see that one of the organizers is quite fucking clear about thinking pansexuality is biphobic and the carrd is or at least used to be full of anti-pan (and other mspec identity) dogwhistles, and is notorious in some of the tma fic author circles for being extremely fucking nasty about trans men writing fic he doesn’t like to the point of pretending that we’re all cis people (in case youre not keeping track that is misgendering us by implication) because he doesn’t like it. i think some of you (or maybe all of you? idk) in general could stand to examine whether your engagements and participations in the fandom have been at all about having fun or adding positivity to anything, or simply making posts about what other people are doing wrong. it seems that every post i see from anyone in this group is guilt trippy and authoritative, and sadly this translated directly into the event. 

when youre, say, a trans man whose first touch to one of the mods was a post about how fic where trans men have piv sex with cis men is hurting him personally and making it a moral issue and not a matter of a simple preference to the point where he feels comfortable making claims about the trans men (and transmasc nonbinary people) writing fic about trans characters re: their gender or whether theyre fetishizing trans men, your willingness to engage in good faith with an event hosted by him that features numerous red flags is not going to be unconditional. 

im sorry to hear that it has been bad for your mental health, and idk whats fucking going on with this event anymore, but my good faith interpretations have diminished significantly since i saw the shit tmc specifically has been saying about pansexual people and pansexuality as an identity label. i have no clue where the rest of you stand but tmc has repeatedly, consistently shown himself to be unable to act in good faith towards anyone other than people who agree with him.