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#because not only did I really love the first request of this
hyunebunx · 3 days
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💛 w/ felix please!!
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˖˙ ᰋ ── 💛- 'a kiss shared during sunset, often romantic and serene'
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﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. genre: fluff!! the fluffiest kind
﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. a/n: i loved writing this sm :( it's a little self indulgent but i still hope you'll like it! thank youu for requesting!! <333
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Sunsets were your absolute favorite.
It might sound cliché or overrated, but witnessing such mesmerizing beauty whenever you were lucky enough to, genuinely made life worth living to an extent other things didn’t. Beauty was in the eye of the beholder but nobody could deny the one of a kind colors and the bright light that was slowly dimming with every minute that passed weren’t painting one of the most gorgeous pictures of them all. Mother Nature herself was the most talented artist after all, her creations admired all over the world by all sorts of people, even the ones who didn’t have a keen eye for the arts in the first place.
Yet somehow, the sunset was even more dazzling now while you were admiring it with Felix, your one and only who everyone was convinced was related to the sun himself.
Lowering your hands, you let the cheap film camera dangle from your wrist casually, the sand warm under you. “I’ve always loved taking pictures of the sky.”
Felix tears his gaze from the ocean, the warm breeze softly ruffling his long blond hair as he smiles. “I know. You never miss a photo opportunity, wiping out your phone and stopping everything we do to get that perfect shot.”
You return his smile, sheepishly, bumping your shoulder into his. “So, you’ve noticed.”
“Of course I have.” He admits like he couldn’t phantom someone not noticing, leaning closer and staring at you in such a way that had you believing he forgot all about the beautiful view in front for a moment. “Because while you’re busy staring at the sky, my eyes only see you.”
Your eyes widen, heat rushing to your face alarmingly as you finally turn to look at him. Wrong move, because the sight of him takes your breath away, especially since you’re close enough to notice every single detail that made Felix who he was. His freckles were not hiding behind any makeup, spilling all over his cheeks like actual constellations – the ones on his eyelids were always your favorite, having taken too many pictures of them to even count now – plump lips naturally pink and still stretched into a faint smile that only pulled you closer by your heartstrings, tugging at them and never really letting go.
The sun was setting, and there were numerous other couples around enjoying the view and the last days of warmth on the beach, but now you could only see him.
“Now you’re just lying to fluster me.” A giggle escapes you, awkward and shy as the beautiful shades of orange begin caressing his side profile, mesmerizing you.
Felix shakes his head instantly. “Why would I?” His hand finds yours on the sand, intertwining your fingers. “People find beauty in different things. So, while you’re enthralled by the sky and all of its colors, I’m bewitched by you and only you.”
Bewitched, like you were some sort of otherworldly being in his eyes, a piece of art deserved to be hung in a museum in its own separate section, surrounded by security 24/7.
You’ve never doubted Felix’s love for you but at the same time, you had no idea he regarded you so highly, in the same way you did him.
Without a second thought, you lean over and plant a lingering kiss on his cheek, feeling his smile widen before you get the chance to pull away, happiness radiating off of him.
“Sure, the sky is beautiful.” You nod, a little tongue-tied and emotional by his previous statement. “But there’s something I love capturing in pictures even more.”
His brows furrow, turning his whole mind upside down in search of the answer he’s looking for, sure you’ve told him about this before. There was no way he wouldn’t remember.
You reach to smooth out the skin and stop him from stressing. Felix beams in response, catching your fingers and bringing them to his mouth to kiss one by one.
The waves were crashing against the shore, bringing a rare serenity you and Felix could never get enough of as the sun seemed to pause its descent to also witness your love, giving you a few more moments of light.
“The moon?” He tries, thoughtful while bringing your hand to his chest.
You shake your head and almost close the distance between you to whisper. “You.”
Then, you kiss him, tenderly and softly like you’re afraid once you pull back and open your eyes he will disappear like he was nothing more than a fragment of your own imagination. Or a ray of sunshine personified whose time ran out and he needed to hurry home and be among his people, to allow the moon to take front stage.
Felix holds your hands like he feels the same, not believing someone like you was actually real and bothered to give him the time of day.
There is no rush or desperation, just two people who love each other like it wasn’t the first time, like they somehow met before in a past life and were separated by the cruel passing of time. Like soulmates destined to find each other over and over again, guided by the red string of fate that never tore no matter how far apart your paths were, or what obstacles dared to stand in your way.
When you pull away, he chases after you, pecking your lips repeatedly until he’s satisfied. But he doesn’t seem to get enough, deepening the kiss at the last second while pulling you even closer as he wraps an arm around your shoulders to feel you near.
The sun is almost gone when you come back for air, forehead resting against your lover’s as you both break into the biggest smiles, delighted to be together and make even more memories.
And for once in your life, you don’t mind missing a sunset for you found an even more beautiful view. 
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maidragoste · 2 days
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hey hun! im sorry for your loss and i saw u post abt needing distracting. so could u write a jace x reader? it could be any plot you want whatsoever and could it be a modern au? as well fluffy! is that okay?
Hi, how are you?
Thank you for your message 💖 I'm sorry it took me so long to upload your request (in the end it cost me more than I thought to recover and then university and trying to find a job overwhelmed me) but I hope you like the result 🥰💖
Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.
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It hadn't really been Jacaerys' intention to wait for you to come back from your date. He should be doing some college work but instead, he's watching TV without paying attention to it thinking about how the hours are passing and you still haven't come home. Your date should be fun if you don't text Jace anymore. Jace shouldn't be worried about you because he knew Rhaena would never have set you up with an idiot but he still couldn't help being worried.
Jacaerys wanted you to come home and see if you were okay. It would hurt him to hear the details of your date and see you all excited about another boy but he would bear it.
If only Jace wasn’t afraid of ruining things between you two then he would have taken you out himself after hearing you complain about how your love life is dead instead of letting Rhaena set you up with one of her friends. But Jacaerys is sure that you don’t see him as more than a friend and he doesn’t want to risk losing you so he doesn’t make a move. He's content with being able to be in your life, with the chaotic mornings of the two of you getting ready before going to class, with your text messages telling him everything that happens to you during the day, with the nights cooking together and with the breaks where you watch series snuggled together on the couch.
Jacaerys looks away from the TV as he hears the keys clicking into the lock. You walk in and Jace feels a pit in his stomach because you don’t look excited, you look defeated? Your eyes meet his and you give him a tired smile but you quickly break eye contact to take off your coat and sneakers and then run to the couch with him.
“So you wanna talk about it?” Jacaerys doesn’t even finish asking how much you’re already talking.
“It was fine. He’s nice and we talked for hours. Everything was going well until the end because he tried to kiss me.” If you hadn’t been busy fidgeting nervously you would have noticed how your roommate seemed to tense up all of a sudden. “I declined and he wasn’t bothered but it was awkward.” You sighed.
“Why did you reject him? Are you the kind of person who has a rule of not kissing on the first date?”
“Because I don’t like him” you declared, suddenly looking up and for a moment, at the intensity of your gaze, Jace forgot to breathe. “I could be his friend, but I’m not interested in him in any other way.”
“Oh” was the only thing that came out of the surprised man’s mouth.
“Oh,” you repeated, “Why did you wait for me, Jace?”
“Who said I was waiting for you? I was watching TV” he denied instantly.
“Jace”
Seeing your beautiful eyes looking at him pleadingly for a moment, Jace was afraid to give in and confess everything to you, as for more than a year he can’t stop thinking about you and wants to be more than your friend. But again, he’s afraid of making you uncomfortable and losing your friendship, so he asks instead.
“What does that have to do with you not liking your date?”
“While I was with him I realized that I actually wanted to be home with you” you confessed and instantly regretted it when you saw that he remained silent. “Forget it. I'm sorry for making it weird” You got up ready to go to your room so you could have a crisis alone about ruining your friendship with Jace when he took you by the hand and pulled you causing you to end up on top of him.
“Oh no, I don’t plan on forgetting it, not when I’ve been pining for you for over a year,” he stated making you smile.
“You’re a coward,” you mocked without malice. “Over a year and you never made a move. You’re lucky I decided to act.”
“You’re right,” he said smiling unbothered. “Now that we’ve established that I’m a fool and you’re the best, can I kiss you?” he asked and you laughed feeling delighted with him.
“Try not to sound so desperate to kiss me.”
“Can you blame me?” He arched an eyebrow, any embarrassment or fear he felt disappearing the moment he knew his feelings were reciprocated. “I thought a lot about kissing you and I finally have the chance.”
At his confession, you felt heat on your face and your smile grew. “You're such a fool.” You took his face in your hands and felt your heart warm at the softness with which Jace looked at you.
The moment your lips touched his Jacaerys knew he would become addicted to your kisses. He would look for any excuse to kiss you as many times as he wanted. You would probably become the clingy couple that his friends would make fun of. But he didn't care and he didn't think you would either because you were kissing him with the same intensity.
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Taglist for all my House of the Dragon works
@chaotic-fangirl-blog @venus-flytrap3 @ajordan2020 @iloveallmyboys @sweethoneyblossom1 @fudge13 @crystal-faith @tita004 @ichanelvxgue @snowprincesa1 @joyouart @rosey1981 @alastorhazbin @papichulo120627 @apollonshootafar @jasminecosmic99 @partypoison00 @labellapeaky @rebelliuna @bxdbxtxh15 @impartinghades @thegirlnextdoorssister @angeliod @snh96 @aleemendoza2425-blog @natashaobo @watercolorskyy @nyenye @savagemickey03 @kishie8 @ewwwitsel @arabis-world @missusnora @nzygftoji @alisoncdariel @cookielovesbook-akie @partnerincrime0 @klara-lily @427120lxld @justhereiguess2 @buckylahey @wa801 @artistadistrada2002 @thelastemzy @justanotherkpopstanlol @yn-jackson @jacesvelaryons @pictureofcaroline
hotd masterlist
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maibakugo · 12 hours
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could you please do a short scenario with almost a soft-ish dom Bakugo babying and embarrassing a shy, needy reader? some foreplay would also be very nice. would love to see any add ons of anything you’re interested in as well. (:
sure!!!! i actually love this request because this is the first mha one!!
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A HEART THAT SOFTENS ONLY FOR YOU
You gasped as Katsuki's hands were just above your heart, what was he going to do?
He let out a slight snicker as he watched your reaction. His aggressive demeanor going away.
Were you really tense from all this?
His sweet, poor baby. He had to make you relax.
He held you close, and cooed as he caressed the back of your head with his larger hand.
He set you on his lap just like a baby, and slid his hand down your head to your shoulder as you closed your eyes.
You could feel his hot breath on your neck as he left a trail of kisses down your neck as your face went so red that it would put Kirishima's hair to shame.
“My sweet little angel...don't be so shy. You know you want this as much as I do..”
He said, as you felt his smirk on the lower part of neck near your collar bone.
You squirmed against his touch as he bit down on your neck, leaving a slightly red mark in the outline of his sharp teeth.
He brought his left hand over your waist and just kept it there.
You had the urge to say please, go on and don't stop there but you could never say that.
How could you even say anything with air this tense?
Katsuki finally had enough of his teasing and and moved the hand on your waist lower and lower until...yeah.
You gasped and tried to get off, but he hold you even closer.
Coddling you like a very fragile doll.
Because you are one, in his eyes.
“Oh..just relax for me, and i promise you i'll give a treat for my little doll..”
That stopped you from moving and squirming everywhere.
He knew you wanted this, and you did too.
He turned you around so he could finally see you face to face
The two of you were in for a long night...
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sorry if this wasn't up to your expectations😭😭 first time writing things like this, i wasn't going to do full smut because I felt embarrassed while doing that
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insomanic-fanfication · 18 hours
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Hey, I really liked your Dick Grayson sfw and nsfw alphabets! When you have the time, can I request either of those for Jason Todd? Thanks 😊
Jason Todd SFW Alphabet
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Author's note: Of course! I planned on doing his anyway after finishing some of my drafts. But that's taking a little longer than I thought it would. CW:
Alphabet Under the cut!
Affection: How affectionate are they? How do they show it?
Jason isn't really affectionate, at least in open places. He's got way too many people wanting his head on a pike. Family and friends know you two are dating; however, if someone on the outside saw you two, they would have no idea. However, when you two are alone, his true colors bleed through. His personality is similar to that of a huge dog that hasn't figured out they can't be a lap dog anymore. Laying his head on your lap while you do your own things. He is reading a book, and you do one of your hobbies. Just decompressing from the day Comfortably in science and enjoying the other's presence. Will 100% fall asleep if you start playing with his hair.
Best Friend: What are they like as best friends? How would you become best friends?
Unless he needed to ask you for something, you would probably have had to make the first move toward friendship. Jason gets very lonely, but trying to meet new people on his own accord is not part of his personality. If he approached you, it would be one of two things; 1. You did something that impressed him, or 2. Dick was pestering him about meeting new people too much, and he caved to make Dick leave him alone.
Cuddles: Do they like to cuddle? How would they?
Jason hesitates to cuddle at first; it's not that he hates it, but more so, he fears it. For the most part, positive physical interaction is a foreign concept in his body. For the first few times he cuddles, he will flinch, and it doesn't matter which one of you enacted it. But once he gets to the point of cuddling, where you two can cuddle, he is relaxed? Your fate is sealed. You've created a monster! Anytime you're not busy in the apartment, it's cuddle time, and no protests are allowed. Will get pouty if you have to get up.
Domestic: Do they want to settle down? How good are they at cooking and cleaning?
Jason is one of the Batfam members who would settle down in a heartbeat, even if it's just for a year or two. He craves at least some normality. But if he does, no one can protect the ones he loves, at least not well, in his opinion. Unlike his brothers, Jason is an excellent cook and even a chef with his skills. One of his favorite early memories is helping and learning to cook with Alfred. He's also very good at cleaning, partly cause his spaces are the bare-bone things to live in. However, he likes to clean his apartment or space once weekly as a coping mechanism. It's something he feels he is in complete control over. However, if you find him randomly deep-cleaning a room or his apartment. BE AFRAID; he's not okay, no matter how often he tries to tell you he is alright. For him, that is grippy sock stay levels that are not okay.
Ending: If they had to break up? How would they?
Like Dick, if you two broke up and he was the one that broke it off, it was due to him having an episode. But unlike Dick, it would be out of paranoia. Jason would make himself believe that your life will be destroyed. or you'll die because you are dating him. He would most likely ghost you and not actually break up with you. Because the words would pain him too much to say out loud. Only coming to his senses after the episode has passed, realizing his actions, and imminently finding you in person, terrified he fucked up everything between you both.
Fiance: How do they feel about commitment? How long before they pop “the question”?
Jason didn't want marriage for a long while, too terrified that it would make something go wrong. However, the longer the relationship goes on, nothing terrible happens like he expected. The more the thought of marriage would come into his mind. Asking what your thoughts on marriage are one night while cuddling.
Gentle: How gentle are they? Both physically and Emotionally? 
Jason is incredibly gentle with his partners, partly due to his personality and partly because he fears accidentally hurting you. He's a little rough around the edges emotionally, though, mostly because he's not used to being a completely open book to people.
Hugs: Do they like hugs? What are their hugs like?
Jason hugs like a dad coming home after a long trip. He'll hug your waist and lift you, keeping you in his arms with the biggest smile. He'll kiss your forehead while you feel the warmth of his body around you.
I love you: How fast do they say the L-word?
Jason would be extremely slow to say the actual' I love you' wording, but he would make up for it in physical affection and words of affirmation. Holding you as close as he can while telling you how much you mean to him and how great of a partner you are to him. So, people may mistake it for love bombing, which added to his other behavior. But it's because it's so hard for him to verbally tell you he loves you. He feels he needs to say it to you in other words, so you know how much his heart bleeds for you.
Jealousy: Do they get jealous? What would they do?
Jason gets super jealous; he won't control who you talk to or anything like that. He knows you have a life outside your guy's relationship, and it's not his place to manage. But he's protective of you and gets jealous when others flirt with you because, in the back of his mind, it's hard for him to believe someone would date him. So he's worried that you'll find someone more accessible to love, and you'll give up on him. Does it sound balls off the wall crazy? Yes, but mental illness is rarely something that likes to make sense.
Kissing: What are their kisses like? Where do they like to be kissed/ kiss you? 
Jason loves it when you kiss places on him that are generally done on the submissive partner, such as his knuckles, neck, forehead, etc. He finds them so comforting and feels very loved.
Little ones: How are they around kids?
Jason is great around kids unless it's his brothers. Generally speaking, though, he's very good with kids. Sometimes, he understands what's okay for a kid or not. He'll let a toddler he's watching fidget with an unloaded gun if they are very interested in it. But he'll explain to the kid in terms they understand gun safety and how you know a gun is loaded or not. Telling the kid you never treat a gun like it's a toy. It is a 100% safe choice for a kid to go to if they can't find their parent.
Morning: How are they during the mornings?
He's a morning person but a lazy morning person. He'll wake up at 5-6 and do dishes, eat, and do morning stretches, but he will not do any actual work until around noon. God forbid the poor man has a morning shift, no matter what his day job is. He'll be the grumpiest man in the world, but he hides it well from clients/ customers. Some of his coworkers get very confused of this very quick change of mood, but others just see that, and think 'Same brick wall dude, Same'.
Nights: How are they spent with them?
He is a huge Night Owl, wither that be doing the bulk of his work at Night, or having a nice cuddle session with you while having a smoke on the fire escape of the apartment. He is a very light sleeper, or deep sleep with every hour or so waking back up. He also has a lot of night terrors, so he tends to avoid sleep, ESPECIALLY if you are staying over at his place. He has a lot of 'what if i hurt you..' paranoia.
Open: When would they start revealing things about themselves?
Try to get Jason to open up, is like trying to open a can with no can opener. You may have be in a relationship with him for 5 years, and still not know everything about him. Not because he doesn't trust you not to use that against him. But because he struggles with knowing WHEN to open up about things in a relationship. He wants to make sure your twos relationship is a healthy as it can be, which every now and then dose end up causing problems. Especially when he's having a ptsd episode and you feel helpless within how to help him through it.
Patience: How easily angered are they?
He tries to be a laid back person, tries to be, is the wording there, he doesn't have a hair thin trigger, but sometimes his trauma just gets triggers by something he doesn't even see the connection to, so he's in a pissed off fight response for a bit. He does, however go to anger management therapy to try and help these behavior issues. But somethings slip through the cracks before they can be brought up in therapy. This does not stop him from bragging to his siblings, that he's the only one taking care of his mental health.
Quizzes: They remember everything or nothing about you?
It's like a scale, sometimes he remembers everything, other times he can't remember your favorite hoodie, (it's the one that's been used as a pillowcase for 3 months, because he missed holding you). He can dissociate for a long awhile, but him also bottling up his emotions plays a bigger role in this.
Remember: What is their favorite memory in the relationship?
The first time you fell asleep while cuddling with him. You both were watching cheesy 90s slashers for Halloween night, snuggled in almost a cocoon of blankets and snacks. When he turned to check on why you had been so quiet, you had falling asleep while being snuggled so far into him, that he half expected for you to fuse into his side. The amount of trust you had for him, the emotions he felt was too much and he ended up crying for the first time in years. the tears feeling like they were burning his eyes, but it's still a memory he holds closest to his heart.
Security: How protective are they? How would you protect each other?
No matter what your appearance is, wither that be tall and lanky or short n stout. Jason tends not to need a lot of physical protection, but you are most defiantly the protector of his emotional peace and social battery. Think of it like a Pitbull done with his guarding of the house for the day, so runs to their favorite human to become the biggest cuddle bug on earth. That's Jason Todd, (He's very Resurce dog coded, don't blame me, blame DC). He very much, however, is scary looking guard dog for you. He could kill someone with his death glare sometimes.
Try: How much effort would they put into dates, gifts, anniversaries, etc?
Jason puts an extreme amount of effort into your anniversaries, gifts and dates! He's not a social able person, so don't expect fancy Lucious dinner dates at a 5 star restaurant. They make him very uncomfortable, thinking everyone's eyes are on him. But he will make you the most romantic and gushy homemade dinners, your favorite flowers or candy. Cooking Red type pastas with red wine or cooking a Hispanic dish that learned while growing up around crime ally.
Ugly: What are some bad habits of theirs?
He has a bad habit of pushing you away, instead of telling you what's up. For better, or for worse. Sometimes it's because his crime lord days caught up to close to him, and for your safety he pushed you away. Or on the worse side of things, he's terrified you'll look at him as a monster or not understand where he's coming from with his trauma and his poor mental health, so he tries to keep them from you as long as possible, until he has no choice to tell you, or lose the relationship he has built with you.
Vanity: How concerned are they with their looks?
Honestly, Yes and no, like he cares about his looks more than a person would think, but like.. slightly more. He's not gonna shower every single day on the dot and shave his pubic hair into a sharp clean design. But he absolutely cares about keeping up good hygiene. Though he does have issues with cleaning his teeth, nothings rotting in there, but he is brushing his teeth waaay less than he really should be.
Whole: Would they feel incomplete without you?
No, unless you two date each other until your 4 years into retirement and you die of old age. He will be able to feel the same before you to started dating, because he feels incomplete on a regular basis. Like he isn't able to do enough, BE a enough for anyone to see him how he is as a person now.
Xtra: Random headcanon for them?
Jason use to smoke weed, especially in his teen years, regularly. But now he smokes cigs, problary Marlboro's or Lucky Strikes maybe Camels , and eats edibles every now and then to help with muscle pain and mood swings. (he still hasn't figure out if meds are worth not being able to have a beer whenever he wants.)
He knows he has PTSD, maybe C-PTSD, however he's not quite sure or not that he has BPD or a similar disorder, he's mainly just not internally ready to know the answer to that part of himself just yet. He's barely processed his feelings towards his Mother, so he's not there yet in his healing journey.
Yuck: What are some things they don’t like, in general, or in a partner?
if you have bad few of poor people or think poor people are only poor because they chose to be. Than I'm sorry, but Jason is more likely to pop a bullet in your head than he is to see you in a good light, let alone a romantic one.
Zzz: What is their sleeping habit?
Either waking up every 1 to 2 hours, or only sleeping 30mins to 3 hours and then staying up for the rest of the night or start cleaning or smoking a cig outside.
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cheeseceli · 2 days
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That must be right
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Pairing: Min Yoongi × Gn!reader
Genre: fluff, f2l, drabble
Request: can i request a yoongi idolbf! x reader and its just like a fluffy date, they're just dating and didnt really actually confess their feeling yet and like at the end of the date he or reader confesses
Warnings: tzuyu (twice) makes a cameo, suga overthinks a bit, y/n was delulu for a second here, not proofread.
A/n: don't you just love when he smiles | daily click
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Yoongi doesn't know what to feel right now.
He should be happy, because oh my God this is happening. But he should also be anxious, because what is he supposed to do now that this is happening? And on top of it, he should be scared, because is this even supposed to be happening?
The way you saved his number as "my love" is a fact that has been spiraling in his head for hours now, since he discovered it. And it is just a silly little detail about your every day life. He wasn't even supposed to know about that. But he does. And now he can't stop thinking about that.
It's also about how you told Tzuyu (who definitely shouldn't have told Suga) you couldn't go out with her since you were having a date with your boyfriend. The boyfriend being Yoongi. And the date being the place you guys should go to in a few hours.
And there's nothing wrong with that, right? Except for the fact that you called him your boyfriend when he is... not your boyfriend. He would love to be, of course! But he is not. Unless he got lost in translation, which he highly doubts, considering how he is always replaying everything you say and do in his mind.
But you called him that. And, in some type of way, you called him your love as well. Never to his face, but you did. And Yoongi has no idea on how much of that he should consider. It could be just a not very funny joke. But you wouldn't joke about it, would you? So maybe he should just behave like nothing happened. Yeah, that's right. He shouldn't even know about those things at all.
So for the rest of the day, he pretends that he didn't discover anything. Everything is exactly as it was. But he can't bring himself to actually forget those. "My boyfriend". "My love". Those sentences were quite harsh to forget about.
You guys are on a date, so why can't you be actually dating? Do you even know that this is a romantic date? Does Yoongi know that? When did the line between friends who are secretly in love and actual lovers blurry itself so hard? It's getting ridiculous at this point. So many questions and very few answers.
He watches as you hold the huge popcorn bucket, trying your best not to drop anything. You were just waiting in line with him, waiting for the movie session to start, but you were so happy. Even when just standing still, your eyes were undeniably full of joy.
Yoongi also didn't miss how you never failed at being close to him. Not on a way to overwhelm him, just to be there. Like you just wanted his company, even if you weren't touching each other. Even if you were in complete silence, even if you didn't even look at each other just yet. You were both there. And that was all that mattered.
Useless to say that he paid absolutely no attention to the movie on the silver screen. He had no idea of who was staring in it, or what it was about. He barely looked at it to be honest. He was looking at you all the time. My boyfriend. My love. You surely acted like there was truth to those words.
For the first time in the past hour or so he looked away from you. He focused his gaze on the movie playing instead, but only because he wanted to reach to hold your hand, and he wouldn't be able to do it if he looked at you while doing so. That was proven particularly correct as he felt you turning your head just to look at him the moment you felt his touch.
He should've looked though. Maybe then he would see how your eyes proved that Yoongi was indeed your love. Maybe just not your boyfriend. Yet. That was soon to be solved, as he was already planning on how to confess the moment the two of you got out of the movie theater.
You were, after all, calling him your boyfriend for a while now. However, now it was time for him to call you his partner. Oh, and he so would do it. It felt right to do so.
And if it feels right, it must be right.
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Masterlist | you'll probably like: shut me up
Reminder that this is all fiction! This does not represent the members in real life!
Taglist: @yuyubeans @butnotmontana
Dividers by @sweetmelodygraphics | credits for images 1, 2 and 3
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judes-baeeee · 2 days
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I’ve been saying for the longest time that I wanted to write my first full fic and not just blurbs like what I mostly write 🤭
@justicharge gave me the idea from these recent Jude pictures, where y/n is going to a festival with Jude and he’s constantly touching you and just being cute
This contains fluff and angst
You enjoyed festivals, it was really something you enjoyed doing, the loud music and the amount of people there just having a good time was really your vibe; however Jude had never been to one before and it was his first time.
He was really skeptical at first because it wasn’t really his type of music and he wasn’t really a fan of tight, packed spaces but he mainly went because of how much you begged him to have this experience with you.
When you guys arrived, Jude saw how packed the field was and how loud the music was but he saw how your eyes lit up when you looked at your busy surrounding. Jude put his arm around you because he was afraid of losing you in the crowd or that something bad could happen to you.
You smiled at him and asked “You alright baby?”, to which he just smiled widely and responded “yeah, I mean it’s so busy here and I didn’t expect this much people”. You knew it made Jude a bit uneasy and you wanted to help him lose his nervousness so you pulled him by his arm into the busy crowd to dance.
Jude surprisingly danced with you which he never did and kept kissing you in between, “you know we can’t really dance if you keep kissing me Jude”, you giggled and so did he; “I know but you just look so pretty and I’m glad your having a good time”.
Y/n and Jude tried to go out as much as they could since she was in University and Jude being a footballer, so she appreciated him being here with her even though it was out of his comfort zone.
The crowd started getting more rougher and louder causing Jude to be worried about you, you were only small and he was much bigger than you, people kept pushing and shoving around you causing you to get knocked about because of how small you were; Jude instantly put both of his hands around the front of your shoulders to keep you steady.
You looked up and smiled at him while he gave you a cheesy grin, “thanks Jude but I think I’ll be fine without your arms around me”, he let out a cackle “you sure baby cause you were just getting knocked about a second ago”, you knew Jude was protective of you and you enjoyed every second of it especially today; you loved having his big arms around you and just him touching you anywhere, it always sent shivers down your body and butterflies in your stomach.
“Jude I’m glad you’re here with me”, you shouted so he could hear you; “ I wouldn’t wanna be here with anyone else” he replied, he bent down and gave a peck on your forehead.
Hope you guys like this since it is my first full fic, if you have any requests feel free to leave them in my inbox xx
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thisgirlnamedblusy · 2 days
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Hiyah! could I request Donna with a reader who has a really ratty old stuffed animal that they’re super attached to that Donna is a little (very) jealous of? maybe during a crisis Donna tears it apart and reader is inconsolable for days and won’t even speak to her, until one day Donna very carefully repairs that stuffed animal for reader again. love some angst with a happy ending!
Yesss!!!! Thank you for your request!!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :)))))))
A childhood friend
Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader
Warnings: Angst, fluff, Donna being Donna, Donna's POV
Word count: 7,770
Summary: How can I be jealous of a teddy bear...?
N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))
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I would never have imagined that I was waiting for someone, that in the darkness of my bedroom, loneliness wasn’t my only company.
After so many years of loneliness, of so much crying, horror… Finally I wasn’t alone and I would never be alone again.
My life is of no interest to anyone, it never was. Maybe I could have the feeling that I really left the young and crazy Donna Beneviento to become someone important, so “lady” preceded my name and I would feel special.
No, that didn’t work. I will always thank the Black Gods, Mother Miranda, for having been chosen for a cause that I am still not sure of. I became a Lord, someone to be feared. Yes, that sounded much better than: the crazy and sick doll woman.
But thinking that something in my life would change after my transformation was only part of an illusion, a desire of my subconscious to abandon my loneliness.
Yes, I had power. I could do things I would never have imagined. Causing fear and suffering to those people who one day messed with me was a fun pastime, but it didn't last too long.
Power brings fear, and fear brings loneliness.
It's not that I wanted to suddenly find myself surrounded by people who begged to serve me, as my sister did. No, that false desire to share my life with someone was the only bit of sanity left in my sick mind.
No, I didn't need anyone. I had everything without having anything.
Thanks to Mother Miranda's gift I was able to give life to my partner Angie, my only friend, the only one who, even without existing, was by my side all those years. A miracle from the Black Gods, a gift I can never thank enough for.
But after years and years of thinking that perhaps loneliness would always be my condemnation, that, simply because I was born into my family, having spent my childhood, my life in that sinister village, I would no longer have the right to be a normal person.
You appeared as a coincidence, as something that shouldn’t be there and at the same time had to exist; a beautiful, perfect girl, daughter of the village weaver.
Were you really a coincidence? It was becoming more and more difficult for me to see it that way.
You had something I needed. You had fabrics for my dolls. At first it was unexpected. The Duke simply didn’t have what I was looking for. When I saw you… When I saw you I knew that I would never buy fabrics from that greedy merchant again.
I preferred to see you, to see your innocent smile, the lack of trembling in your body when I was near. You were different, you didn’t fear me, or you didn’t show it.
That was much more than I had in my entire life, someone who smiled at me, who didn't run away from me, who didn't beg for mercy. It was sudden, my heart started to move strangely, to pound when I got close to you. Yes, I never had the chance to experience that thing called love, so it took me a while to be sure that it was what I felt for you.
Longings, sighs, smiles… All those changes, those involuntary actions of my body were like a disease, one that I did like to have, for which there was only one cure: You.
After a while trying to put my feelings back together, assuming that I really loved you, that I visited you only to contemplate your smile, I dared to tell you what I felt.
I wanted you to guide me. I wanted you to tell me what those sighs meant, those smiles that you were unable to see through my black veil. I explained everything to you, with fear, fearing that you would think I was just stupid, a poor crazy woman who didn't even dare to talk to people.
Your smile grew bigger and bigger and then… Then you confirmed it for me. Those butterflies in my stomach, my mind ravaged by your beauty, the sighs, the desire to see you… It was love.
I wasn't surprised by your timid explanation but... When I lowered my head, ready to run away, so as not to hear your rejection, so as not to hear that I was just a monster, then you did it. Without fearing the consequences of your audacity you lifted my black veil. You didn't uncover my face, just a little bit of it, just enough for your lips to rest on mine.
A kiss, the first of my life but not the last, a kiss from those tender, brave lips that didn't flinch, that didn't hesitate... The best kiss.
You also felt something for me. Your body was sick in the same way, it was sick of love...
Explaining how little by little the kisses became routine, how my caresses became more and more emboldened by your skin would be too boring. Everything we lived always had an end, a bitter one, the moment when you had to go back home.
Desperate, being selfish and possessive, one of those nights I begged you not to leave ever again, to stay with me. You, always surprising me, said yes.
And that, that was the first night in which our bodies could embrace each other eternally, in which the warmth of your body remained in mine.
“Okay, I'm done,” you said when your usual clothes disappeared to give way to a nightgown, the clothes that would accompany you every night. “Donna?”
“Oh, yes,” I said, shaking my head, leaving that journey through my memories, that explanation I needed to know that you were real, that you did exist. “Come,” I said, patting the mattress affectionately.
“Wait, wait, something is missing,” you said suddenly, searching for something among your suitcases. “That's it...”
I blinked several times when I saw you with something in your arms, it looked like a teddy bear, or at least, it once was.
“What's that?” I asked pointing at that ratty animal as you got into bed next to me.
“It's Percy,” you said with an innocent smile, showing me the teddy bear and moving one of its paws comically. “Hello, hello”
“Percy?” I asked again with a frown, taking the bear in my hands.
The condition of that plush was terrible. It was missing an eye and the seams seemed to want to tear. The passage of time was evident in the old bear, it reminded me of Angie.
“Mm,” you murmured as I continued to look at that worn teddy bear. “I've had it since I was very young, it's important to me, you know, like a friend.”
“A friend…” I whispered with an inevitably unpleasant grimace.
 I hate broken toys.
“Yes, I've been sleeping with him for as long as I can remember, he's always been with me, you know...” you commented, sighing and looking at the gestures I made on the animal, trying to recompose one of his arms.
“You haven't taken good care of it,” I murmured, looking at you out of the corner of my eye. “It's destroyed.”
You simply shrugged your shoulders.
“Yes, well... I've always taken him with me on my adventures,” you said with a nostalgic tone. “Time passes for everything, but for me he's still the same.”
“The same? (Y/N), it's missing an eye,” I said with a mocking smile.
I wasn't used to joking, I didn't even know how to do that, I always failed and that time, you didn't even bother to fake a smile, you just crossed your arms.
“You are missing an eye too and I love you,” you said with a dangerous whisper, one that indicated to me that you weren't joking.
I looked at you quickly, offended by your comment. You weren't careful, (Y/N), you didn't know how dangerous it was to joke about my horrible appearance.
Well, maybe you did, because your face immediately changed and you bit your lip, placing a hand on my shoulder.
“Um, Donna, don't take it the wrong way... I, I meant it as a joke,” you stammered, with a reassuring tone.
I just nodded, taking one last look at that horrible bear and leaving it on the nightstand.
“Oh, no, no, wait,” you said climbing up my body and reaching out to grab the teddy bear. “Be careful, Donna.”
“Careful? Perché? I haven't done anything,” I said confused while you got off my body again, with that animal in your arms.
“Don't leave Percy anywhere, he’s fragile and... Well, besides, I already told you that I always slept with him so...” you said, placing the bow tie on that teddy bear, making me frown even more.
“Is the bear going to sleep here? In the bed?” I asked in a dark tone.
I didn't know why I acted that way, but I did, I had the need to do it, as if I myself considered that the bear was exceeding the limits of confidence.
“Yes... It's just that... Well, it may seem silly to you but... I continue, I continue sleeping with him,” you confessed a bit embarrassed, placing the bear delicately under the sheets, in a position that seemed horrible to me, between the two of us. “That way he could protect me.”
Ignoring the gesture of putting that plush to sleep with us, I laughed pleasantly, shaking my head and taking your hand.
“Come on, tesoro… You don't need it anymore, I'll protect you,” I said, moving the bear away from the bed.
You gasped, snatching it from my hands with a nervous, almost scared gesture.
“Um, I'm, I'm sorry Donna but I need it,” you said, looking away. “Well, unless… It's a problem for you… Be more careful, please…”
I blinked several times, trying to listen to your words over and over again and to interpret your serious expression as you returned the animal to that privileged place.
A part of me asked for tranquility, calm. The bear wasn’t something strange. I slept with my dolls, with Angie. I should know how important it could be for a person.
 The other part of my head, the one corrupted by hate, jealousy and madness, did nothing but scream at me to get that pathetic bear away from the place my body should occupy.
“Um, it's not a problem,” I said in a small voice, with an expression that surely didn’t show the intention of those words.
Does she prefer to sleep with that bear? How stupid you are, Donna…
“Taci!” I said out loud, startling you with the abruptness of my words.
Again I wasn’t careful. I let the voices in my head sound real, cloud my senses. Luckily, it was only for a moment, until your soft and reassuring hand rested on my cheek again.
“Honey, I didn't say anything,” you said with a nervous smile, with that tone you used when the shadows stalked me.
I was stupid to think that way, to believe that the pathetic bear could replace me. I wish I weren't condemned to madness, to imagine that, around every corner, there was a threat that sought to take you away from me.
“I'm sorry,” I said, rubbing my eye and kissing the back of your hand.
“Relax, I know the move has been stressful for you but...” you said, taking your hand away and lying down on the bed, guiding me to do the same. “I'm here with you now, my love...”
Your whispers, your words of love always served to soften my sharp soul. The day you were gone... I wouldn't want to continue living. Not even eternal life would be a gift. It would be a constant condemnation, a time in which your loss would never disappear from my wounded heart.
“Certo,” I whispered, forcing a smile, reaching out my hand to remind the softness of your skin, to remind myself that I wasn't living in a dream.
You laughed softly, like every time my imperfect hands touched your perfection. Not even the fact that my hand touched that teddy bear stopped me from enjoying your hand, getting a little closer to kiss your lips slowly.
“Careful, be careful, darling,” you said amused, harassed by the tickling my lips did on your skin. “Percy.”
I moved away as my smile faded, letting your hands leave me to take the plush out from under my body and position it again, ready to sleep.
“I'm sorry,” I whispered with a fake voice, glancing sideways at that one-eyed bear, one that seemed to enjoy its victory. At least that's what my mind interpreted.
It was our first night together, and the joy in my heart hid those irrational jealousies for a moment. Having your body sleeping next to mine, your deep, calm breathing reaching my ears like a lullaby... That was unbeatable, even with that disgusting Percy separating us.
I could barely sleep that night.
I couldn't sleep because I had you by my side, because my mind traveled from joy to sadness, then to fear, the fear as always irrational and almost psychotic. I thought when I dared to close my eye, I would lose you forever.
That didn't happen. I dared to sleep, to test my worries, and I won. Well, almost...
When the morning cold shook my body, forcing it to wake up, the first thing I did was to reach out my hand to you. You weren't there. The warmth of your body had abandoned me.
I quickly turned on the light and confirmed my fears. You weren't there, (Y/N), you were gone. My breathing became dangerously labored and my eye traveled all over the room until I lowered my head.
Of course, Percy was still there, looking at me with its one eye, mocking me. It wasn't what I expected to see when I woke up but at least... At least I knew that you weren't gone, you would never go without that filthy teddy bear.
Nervous because of that cold look, because of that bear's sinister shadow, I turned its head, its body, preventing it from continuing to laugh at me, even though it really wasn't.
“Good morning!” A high-pitched squeal made me stir.
Small, familiar footsteps walked towards the bed, jumping on top of it; my friend, my companion, my Angie.
“Don't shout, Angie...” I murmured, shaking my head. “Where's (Y/N)?” I asked curiously.
The doll laughed amused, climbing onto my lap.
“I think she's taking a shower,” she commented thoughtfully. “Did you sleep well?”
“No,” I said in a cold voice, briefly looking at the bear.
“Of course, of course, your conscience did its work,” Angie said with a haughty voice that made me frown.
“My conscience?” I asked, running a hand through my hair, constantly looking at the door, wanting for you to appear.
“Yes, silly Donna…” the doll said, putting a wooden finger on my nose. “I'm sure you felt guilty for having kicked me out of the room.”
“Oh, Angie…” I sighed, understanding the reason for that attitude. “We've already talked about it, you can't sleep with us. You disturb us.”
“Silly!” my doll shrieked. “That's unfair.”
“Angie, taci,” I said with a darker tone. “You have to accept that (Y/N) now lives with us, so do me a favor and behave, will you?”
“I can't behave with the silly girl who forced me to sleep in the office,” Angie protested, crossing her arms and letting herself fall on the mattress. “It's very cold there, Donna.”
“Stop complaining, you can't feel the cold,” I commented, shaking my head, refocusing my gaze on that bear and sighing.
The doll growled, mockingly imitating my posture until she noticed where my eye was pointing, until she noticed that strange presence on the bed
-Ohhh - she murmured curiously, cautiously approaching that teddy bear. -What is this filthy bear?
“It's Percy,” I said in a small voice, frowning and looking away. “It's (Y/N)’s.���
“Percy? Hello, hello Percy…” the doll said, shaking the bear's paw as if she was really greeting it.
I looked at her and couldn't help but smile at that scene. Angie was a demon, but sometimes she managed to look adorable. I don't know what would have become of me without her.
“Hey, you dirty bear! I'm talking to you!” the puppet said abruptly, indignant at not getting an answer.
I laughed amused, picking up the puppet in my arms and sitting her on my lap, fixing her messy hair affectionately.
“Ti voglio bene, Angie,” I whispered with my soul a bit calmer.
“Oh, cheesy Donna,” she protested, removing my hands from her face. “Hey, that bear is rude, he didn't greet me.”
I laughed again, leaving the doll alone.
“He doesn't talk, Angie, he's not like you,” I explained while the puppet examined the bear again with curiosity, shaking it comically.
“Che palle,” she complained. “Wait, wait, wait,” she said, as if she had just realized something. “I can't believe it Donna…”
“Mm?” I muttered, watching the door again in case you appeared.
“So, I, the wonderful Angie, the supreme Angie can't sleep here with you and that pile of dirt that looks like a bear can, right?” she protested, with an indignant pose, not leaving the poor bear alone.
I rolled my eye and sighed, relaxing my face again, turning it slightly dark.
“(Y/N) needs to sleep with it,” I explained looking down, remembering the conversation from the day before, those irrational thoughts that talked about stupid jealousy. “It's like... A talisman for her, or something like that.”
“How old is she, 5?” the doll mocked, laughing evilly. “Isn't she old enough for teddy bears?”
I sighed again, shaking my head.
“I can't judge her, Angie, until she came I slept with you,” I said in a low voice, taking the opportunity to remind myself that there was no problem with Percy.
“It's not the same, I can talk, and move, and be the best friend ever,” Angie said proudly, pointing at herself and sitting next to the stuffed animal. “Oh, look, look, he's missing an eye, like you...”
“Should I find that funny?” I said offended, crossing my arms. “It's (Y/N)'s teddy bear and she sleeps with it, that's all, there's no problem with it.”
“Are you talking to me or to yourself?” Angie asked, comically moving the bear's weak limbs.
I looked at her with a furious sigh, not having an answer for that accusation.
“I…” I stammered confused, but before I could try to defend myself, the footsteps on the wood indicated to me that, finally, you had returned. “Oh, (Y/N)…” I sighed with a smile as you leaned in to kiss me.
“Have you missed me, darling?” you asked laughing, surely due to my usual shower of kisses, a desperate one that tried hard to mark your skin. “Donna…” you said, pushing me away amused, kissing me for the last time and sitting next to me.
“I hope you slept well,” I said, forgetting for a moment about my dark thoughts, dazzled by your smile. “Have you been comfortable?”
“Oh yes, of course,” you said, nodding sincerely. “Besides, I already knew this bed…” you whispered in my ear, making the heat of my body move to my cheeks.
“Ugh!” Angie complained, interrupting unpleasantly. “Oh, my love, darling, give me a kiss, mooch, mooch, mooch…” the doll mocked, pretending to kiss Percy, something that made your smile disappear immediately.
“Hey! Don't touch him!” you screamed, moving nervously to snatch Angie's toy. “Don't touch him!”
“Ahhh!” Angie shrieked, fleeing from the unhinged fury of your words, hiding behind of me.
“(Y/N),” I said with a surprised look. I'd never heard you scream like that, I'd never seen you get that nervous. “Cal-calmati, amore mio…”
“It's not a toy, Angie, it's not for you to play with,” you said nervously, checking if my doll had caused havoc on that damn teddy bear.
“How dare you to yell at me?” Angie asked, peeking comically, pointing at you with her finger. “Say something, Donna, defend me.”
I should have, Angie was right.
“Behave, Angie, please…” I whispered, not sure that was what I meant. You looked at me gratefully, frowning, still holding Percy.
“Donna, you traitor …” the doll hissed moving away from me and getting off the bed. “I will get my revenge! You will pay dearly for your insolence! You and that filthy bear!” she shrieked before leaving the room, saying words that weren’t especially nice.
You shuddered, hugging Percy tightly, an image that my mind distorted horribly, making it not to look cute, but dangerous.
“Donna… She threatened me,” you said in a soft voice, getting a little closer to me with a scared look. “Angie won't hurt me, right?”
“Of course she won’t, tesoro,” I said, trying to reassure you with a sweet hug, with a soft kiss on your cheek. “Don't pay attention to her...”
“And Percy?” you asked nervously, moving away from my kisses, from my comfort, and hugging that stupid animal tighter.
I sighed discreetly, shaking my head and drawing your body towards mine again.
“No, tesoro, she won’t hurt Percy either,” I said reluctantly, trying not to make my passivity so obvious.
Luckily you were too preoccupied with the bear to notice the apathy of my words.
That's how our coexistence began, in a strange but satisfactory way. After all, you didn't leave, you stayed with me.
I tried to forget about that bear, I tried to pretend that it didn't accompany us every night, that you hugged it instead of my body. Meditating in the solitude of my workshop, I came to the conclusion that there was no danger in you finding refuge in a childhood companion.
Yes, I stopped thinking about it, or at least I tried. You were so perfect… Seeing you every day, being able to kiss you whenever I wanted, being able to tell you at any time that I loved you, that you were my whole life, was a better gift than the second chance Miranda gave me.
Always so cheerful, so happy, sitting next to me while we read, on my lap whenever I worked on my dolls… I spent all my time with you, all the time I could. The kisses, the caresses, the hugs… Those divine gifts were my new routine. I couldn’t say I got used to it, because I could never do that.
Getting used to it would be trivializing your presence. It would be provoking your kisses to stop causing me that incredible emotion, to stop worsening of my favorite disease, my love for you.
But, although everything was perfect, although the days passed with my body in yours, with my lips adoring yours, there came a time when I began to feel a strange discomfort.
It was like a sensation that made our loneliness, our intimacy disappear. It was like when Angie was around, like when kisses couldn't be diverted into passion. The feeling of being watched got worse as the days went by and, even though I tried to ignore it, I really tried, I couldn't do it.
That bear, that damn bear was always with us. It didn't matter what we were doing. Eating, sleeping, making love, walking... That damn Percy always accompanied us, silently, with that disgusting eye laughing at me.
Living with you was wonderful, but... Yes, I hated that bear.
Your arms hugged it every night, that piece of cotton and fabric had the privilege of feeling your warm body, separating it from mine. It could be an exaggeration, a jealousy that made no sense at all, but… If I couldn't hug you at night, why Percy could? Was he more important than me?
Maybe I was indeed exaggerating. Maybe my mental problems made me see that filthy bear as an enemy and not as one of my lifeless dolls.
Openly admitting that I was jealous of Percy wouldn’t be good for us, I knew it and that's why I decided to pretend that I didn't care about the affection you gave him, that I didn't care about the kisses you gave to that battered fabric, those caresses so different from the ones you gave me.
But time only proved me right, it only fed my darkness. My lap was no longer a place for you, yours was now the bear's favorite place.
It seemed to me that you were distancing yourself, that you gave him much more than you gave me. It could simply be that I didn't pay much attention to you when I made my dolls, I even came to think that it was some kind of revenge for something I didn't know I had done.
I tried, I really tried, but I couldn't take it anymore, not that night.
The kisses were hot, wet. The panting began to fill the bedroom with lust. My heart was beating fast, my hands were traveling over your body. I was in paradise.
“Donna,” you moaned amused by my caresses on your neck, by the way my hands climbed up your legs, ready to touch you, to make you mine, to love you madly…
I laughed, biting your earlobe, moving your body so it rested below mine while my lips began to go down your neck. My mistake was not letting myself get carried away by the voices in my head, by those voices that I began to ignore.
No, the problem was much simpler, I opened my eye.
On top of your bedside table was that filthy bear, the damn Percy. He was always there, always next to you, almost closer to you than me. Maybe that's why I wanted to make love to you desperately that night.
I stopped, catching my breath, staring into that lifeless eye, feeling intimidated, watched, as if that Percy hated me, as if he was capable of feeling the same jealousy as me.
“(Y/N)…” I sighed, sitting up a bit, relaxing the movement of my caresses.
“Donna, why are you stopping? Are you okay?” you asked curiously, running a hand through my hair. I nodded with a frown, looking away from that bear. “Come here, my love…”
Your tender words brought back the desire of my lips kiss yours, but it only lasted a moment, until my stupid eye opened again.
“Mm, no, (Y/N),” I said, moving away again, shaking my head.
You looked at me curiously, with a strange look.
“What's wrong?” you asked with a soft, understanding voice.
You were so perfect…
“It's just that… I, I can't,” I stammered, looking back at that disgusting bear. “It makes me, it makes me nervous,” I said in a low voice, pointing at the teddy bear with my head.
“You mean Percy? Oh, Donna, it's just a teddy bear,” you said amused, pulling my face back to your lips. I pulled away roughly, determined that you would listen to me.
“Can you take it away from there?” I asked, with a cold look. “I can't concentrate.”
“Don't pay attention to him, I promise he won't say anything,” you whispered seductively, silencing my protests with another one of your tender kisses. Not even the softness of your lips could comfort me.
“No, t-take it away from there, tesoro, please,” I asked more nervously, with a frown.
It was a kind request, (Y/N). I don't know why you had to refuse.
“Don't be silly, Donna, just don't look at him,” you said, with a slightly more relaxed look, trying to divert my face from your table. “Don't be childish...”
“Childish?” I asked offended, mouth agape. “Come on, (Y/N), don't be stubborn. Put it down for a moment...”
I reached out my hand to fulfill my wish, but yours stopped me.
“Stop talking nonsense and come here, forget about Percy,” you said with an impatient voice.
Nothing I say is nonsense, (Y/N)
I tried to let myself go again, but I was too nervous.
“Cazzo...” I growled, watched by that lifeless eye, oppressed by the pressure of that smiling expression that would surely laugh victoriously for having won. “Cazzo!” I shrieked, moving to hit the stuffed animal, to throw it to the floor in an unpleasant way.
“What are you doing? Have you gone crazy?” you asked startled, pushing me to get off your body, desperately throwing yourself to the floor to pick up your teddy bear. “Oh, nothing happened to it, right?”
“I can't believe it, (Y/N),” I hissed nervously, shaking my head. “Leave that stupid bear on the floor and come here.”
“It's not stupid,” you said with a look that pierced my chest. “I already told you that it's going to get dirty on the floor.”
“But... You, you...” I murmured, unable to say a word, controlling my increasingly sharp nerves. “Porca puttana...” I hissed, getting up from the bed.
“Where are you going, darling?” you asked, confused by my abrupt attitude. “My love, uh… Why did you do that? You know how important it is to me…”
“You know what, (Y/N)?” I said, turning quickly before walking out the door. Your eyes looked at me scared, terrified. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what I wanted to say, but I knew it wasn't anything good. “I, I'm going to the workshop.”
My cowardice was useful for once. I wanted to tell you so many things… I wanted to talk to you about my absurd jealousy, about my fear about that scruffy stuffed animal taking my place but… I couldn't do it, you would hate me for it and that only meant my fears made sense, that the bear was much more important than me.
I would have to calm down, my hands were shaking. That time I managed to avoid the crisis, but I didn't know how much longer I could bear it.
The next day started like any other, a romantic breakfast, your body on my lap again while I worked… It seemed like that tense moment had caused you to realize what my concern was.
But the reality was very different. That bear was still with us all the time, even closer to you, as if you wanted to protect it from another one of my slaps. You hugged it, held it close to your body. It was even closer than me.
“You know? I've been thinking…” you murmured while we ate. My gaze shifted from Percy, accompanying us, as always, and went to your beautiful eyes.
I nodded with a slightly forced smile, one that stayed alive in the light of your smile.
“Tell me what you've been thinking, tesoro…” I sighed romantically, something that made you smile in the same way
“Mm, I thought we could go for a walk in the woods, it's a really nice day,” you said with that soft tone, with that shy smile.
“Yes, a walk!” Angie exclaimed, startling us both.
“Um, no, just me and Donna,” you corrected in a slightly abrupt but amused manner.
“I want to go too, I want to go too!” the doll protested, tugging hard at my black dress, making me almost choke on my wine.
“Angie, cazzo, lasciami…” I protested, pulling the garment away from her wooden claws. “No, you're not coming.”
“Oh, Donna said a bad word,” Angie mocked, in an exaggerated manner. I shook my head, rolling my eye and smiling at you amusedly.
That smile faded when I saw you look at the bear and shrug. It made me so nervous when you looked at it…
“What did you say? A bad word?” you asked curiously.
“Oh, well, Angie's right, you better not learn those ugly words, sweetheart…” I said, dismissing my outburst with a wave of my hand.
“Donna, silly, mean Donna, I want to go for a walk, I want to go!” the doll shouted again, causing me to sigh tiredly.
“I said no,” I said firmly with a stern tone. “You stay here watching Percy, mm?”
“What?” you asked, startled by my innocent words. “Oh, no, no, Percy is coming with me.”
“That's it, choose the filthy bear over me,” Angie whispered, with her hands on her hips. “Donna, tell her something!”
“Angie… Can we eat in peace?” you asked again, clasping your hands together in a pleading manner.
My gaze darkened again and the hand holding my wine glass began to tremble. I couldn't believe it, I just couldn't believe it.
What was supposed to be a liberating step, without stuffed animals or dolls, was nothing but a continuation of that horrible routine in which Percy was always present.
My hand squeezed the glass so hard that it broke, causing you to moan in surprise.
“Uh, wow, you're strong, huh, honey?” you joked, removing the two glass parts from my hands. “Wait, I'm going to throw this so you don't cut yourself. Percy, keep an eye on her.”
The anger could no longer stay inside me.
“Don't go, (Y/N),” I said, getting up from the table and getting in your way.
“Oh, do you want something from the kitchen?” you asked innocently, emptying the broken glass’ wine into yours.
“No,” I said abruptly, with my teeth clenched, with my fist wanting to break more glasses. “The bear is not coming with us.”
“What? Oh, um, why not?” you stammered, putting the crystals in a basket and looking at me confused. “Of course it’s coming.”
“Of course it’s not. The bear is staying,” I hissed, breathing more and more heavily.
“No, the bear is coming with us,” you said with a fake, nervous smile, as if I was saying something crazy. I wasn't, I was right. “What's wrong with you?”
Your words only increased my nerves. I couldn't stand it anymore. The madness was starting to make me lose control.
“What's wrong with me, huh?!” I screamed furiously, unhinged, letting out that contained rage, that stupid and absurd jealousy. “Qual è il tuo problema!?”
“D-Donna, you know I don't understand Italian,” you whispered cautiously, backing away slowly. “What's wrong with you? You're, you're very nervous…”
“How long are you going to keep laughing at me?” I asked in a lower tone, but just as dangerous. “Tell me, have you decided to make fun of me until I can't take it anymore?”
“What are you talking about? Oh, honey, you're losing your mind again… I'll go get your medicine,” you said nervously, passing by me. A bad idea, since my hand grabbed your arm tightly, pushing you back with a furious gasp.
“Yes, I'm losing my mind… Because of you!” I shrieked, clenching my fists tightly and approaching your side of the table, where that stupid Percy was resting. “I'm fed up, (Y/N)! I’m Fed up!”
“Donna, you're scaring me…” you stammered, grabbing the bear to hug it, to take refuge in it, instead of me. That was the last straw.
“Oh…” I growled furiously, snatching it away from you roughly.
“Hey! Give it back to me!” you shrieked nervously while trying to reach it, something impossible, since I was holding it above my head and you… You weren't exactly the tallest girl in the village… “Donna!”
“No! What's wrong, (Y/N)? If you love this stupid bear that much, what are you doing with me?”
“What?” you asked confused, jumping uselessly to reach your partner. “Donna, stop…. Donna!”
“Basta!” I screamed with more anger, pushing you roughly. “I'm sick of this filthy bear! Sick of you loving him more than me!”
“What the fuck are you saying?” you asked, furious, giving up and shaking your head. “Have you gone completely crazy? I knew you were jealous, Donna, really, I knew you were possessive but to be jealous of my teddy bear… It's too much, even for someone like you.”
“If you don't want me to be jealous, stop putting this stinky thing in my bed, stop hugging him at night!” I shouted, shaking Percy in my hand, noticing how the weak stitching on its arm slowly unraveled.
“I don't think you're the best person to accuse me of that. What about Angie?” you asked, pointing at the puppet, who pointed at herself and shook her head.
“Hey, don't involve me!” the doll protested.
“She's alive, (Y/N), this fucking bear is not, he will never be, he will never love you like I do!”
“You're going crazy. You must relax, give Percy back to me and go with your stupid dolls,” you said in a calm tone, getting a little closer to me. “When you get over that stupid craziness, we can talk calmly.”
I narrowed my eye, still breathing furiously as you extended your hand towards mine.
“Come on, Donna, be a good girl and give it back to me,” you said, with a demanding tone that ended up driving me crazy.
I growled, lowering the stuffed animal to your height but immediately removing it from your grip.
“Do you want me to give it back to you?” I asked with a dark look that was surely terrifying.
You nodded, you didn't seem moved.
“Come on, Donna, give it to me,” you said with an impatient gesture.
“Cazzo!” I screamed, grabbing the bear with both hands and doing the worst thing I could do, ripping it, pulling at those weak seams to tear it in half, to tear apart your most precious possession and throw it to the floor with a grunt. “Here is il tuo orsacchiotto di merda!”
“Donna!” you screamed, exchanging pride for the deepest sadness. “No, no, no!”
Screaming, you bent down to pick up the remains of the animal, bursting into tears that tore my soul apart completely. My madness didn't allow me to pity you, not even for a second. I thought I had triumphed.
“Why…?” you sobbed, trying to put the bear back together in a pathetic way. The cotton was sticking out of the tear and one of the arms didn't fit anymore. “Percy…”
I just looked at you, my gaze still dark.
“Donna,” you sobbed, hugging the parts of the teddy bear. “You are a monster,” you whispered, staring me straight in the eye, tears running down your cheeks.
You didn’t say anything else, not even that terrible insult made me stir until you ran out up the stairs and locked yourself in the guest room among horrible cries.
“Oh, Donna, Donna…” Angie sighed, coming closer when she saw the white on my knuckles disappear and I began to realize.
“Oh… What, what have I done?” I said, as if I had just woken up from a nightmare, running a trembling hand over my forehead, looking at a piece of cotton on the floor. “No…”
“Donna, my friend…” Angie sighed, hands on hips. “…You screwed it up.”
Angie was right.
My absurd jealousy, my sick mind forced me to break Percy, to take away your childhood friend. I hated myself, I screamed, I yelled, but none of that could ease my conscience nor heal my mistake.
You stopped talking to me, almost looking at me. You didn't even sleep with me. I had lost you.
But it wasn't a quick loss, you didn't abandon me completely. You were still in my house, you hadn't left me. What was initially a relief became the worst of my tortures. I could see you, but not have you. I could hear you, but not talk to you, I could look at your lips, but I couldn't kiss them.
I tried, I tried by all means to apologize, to beg you to forgive me, but it wasn't enough, it never would be.
“(Y/N),” I said when, as always, you sat down to eat with me. Your gaze was cold, annoyed, it seemed like you really hated me. My voice was soft, sad, apologizing with every word I said. It was of no use.
You didn't look at me or greet me. You just poured yourself a glass of water.
“L-look, I, I made lasagna… It, it's your favorite dish,” I said shyly, serving her a perfect piece that she reluctantly accepted.
“Do you expect me to thank you?” you asked, ignoring my gaze again. At least it was the first time in days that I heard you speak.
“(Y/N), per favore… Listen to me…” I said nervously, with a trembling voice and a tear in my eye.
“I don't want to listen to you,” you said in a gruff voice, dragging the chair. “If you don't leave, I'll go to my room.”
“Forgive me, I beg you, I'm, I'm suffering, tesoro, you don't know how much I am…” I said in a more pathetic tone, reaching out my hand to touch yours. You stood up with a cold look, without a smile, without the sparkle in your eyes.
“What do you know about suffering? You have no fucking idea about people's feelings, Donna. I'm going to my room, I'm not hungry,” you growled, getting up from the chair and walking back to the stairs.
“(Y/N)…” I sobbed when I lost sight of you, resting my forehead on my hand, letting the tear I was holding fall onto the table.
As if saying your name summoned you, you approached again, hurriedly, picking up your plate of food with an embarrassed look, making a proud gesture as you took that lasagna to your room.
A strange smile formed on my face as I shook my head. At least you were still enjoying my food.
“Is everything okay?” Angie asked, climbing onto my lap.
“No, it's not okay at all,” I said hoarsely, pouring myself some wine. “I'm losing her, Angie…”
“Well, you've broken her childhood teddy bear and hurt her feelings, you can't be surprised by her reaction,” the doll said. She was right.
“I don't know what I can do… I'm desperate,” I murmured, playing with my food. “I'll lose her forever, because of me.”
“You gain nothing by regretting it, silly Donna, do something,”  Angie said, guiding my face so I looked at her.
“What? I've apologized in every possible way, I've begged her and… It, it didn't help,” I explained while the doll listened to me, pretending boredom.
“If you think that by saying sorry you're going to fix things up, you're more stupid than you look, Donna,” she said, making me growl furiously, pushing her off my lap.
“Angie…” I hissed dangerously while a word stuck in my mind: fix. “Oh, wait… I think I got it…”
“What, Donna? What are you thinking?”
“Come, I need your help.”
The solution came to my head like a fresh breeze. Yes, it was true that saying sorry was absurd, that it wouldn't fix anything but… That only happened when there was nothing to fix. Fixing my mistakes wasn't something abstract, metaphorical. I could fix everything, really fix it. If I wanted to get you back, I should fix Percy.
With Angie's unmatched help, and with you not seeming upset with my doll, I managed to distract you so I could go up to your new room and get back what was left of Percy.
I spent two days in the workshop, without eating, without sleeping, searching for every piece of fabric, recomposing every part of that damn bear. If it had to be with us so I could enjoy your love, so be it.
Two new eyes, a restored bow tie, reinforced seams, clean and soft fabric, a rebuilt smile, he looked brand new.
“Well, there you are…” I murmured, running a hand over my forehead, yawning from exhaustion. “Welcome back, Percy. What do you think, Angie?”
“Oh…” the doll murmured. “It's amazing, Donna, I'm sure (Y/N) is going to love it.”
“Either that or she'll hate me forever… Is she upstairs?”
The doll nodded.
Slowly, I went up the elevator, with the animal hidden behind my back, walking slowly towards you, who seemed nervous, looking under the furniture, at least until you saw me.
“You! You crazy nutcase! What have you done with Percy?” you shouted at me, pushing me by the shoulders. I didn't move, I just shook my head. “It wasn't in its place... You threw it in the trash, right?”
“No,” I whispered with a hoarse voice, trying to keep my composure despite your angry pushes.
“Yeah, right, stop pretending, Donna. I'm sure you've gotten rid of it, how long do you plan to make me suffer?” you asked, pushing me harder and harder. “Talk, you crazy bitch! Tell me where Percy is!”
I didn't answer, no matter how much my heart hurt from your insults. I simply moved the bear from my back, holding it with both hands and showing it to you, who immediately froze, blinking several times.
“What…? Percy?” you asked confused, shyly taking the restored teddy bear. “What…?”
“Hello, (Y/N),” –I said without moving my lips, pretending to be the animal. You looked at me out of the corner of your eye and shook your head.
“It's, it's incredible… It's, it's like I remember it when my parents… Gods… What have you done?” you asked, looking at the clean bow tie, running a finger over its two now perfect eyes. The smile was starting to appear on your face.
“Donna fixed me up. She put a lot of effort into it. Look at me, I finally have two eyes,” Percy said again while I looked at you with a sad expression.
“I see…” you laughed with a sincere smile. “Look at the seams… It’s, it’s perfect…”
“Donna loves you so much. She’s tried so hard to fix me up to make you happy. She didn’t want to hurt you. She was just being silly, were you, Donna?” Percy said.
 I nodded slowly.
You shook your head and laughed amused, leaving the bear on a table and walking towards me, cupping my face in your hands.
“Donna, my love…” you whispered, with tears in your eyes. “Honey…”
“I’m so sorry, (Y/N), I didn’t mean to make you suffer… I, I just…”
You interrupted me the best way you knew, with one of your tender kisses, one that almost made me cry, one that you hadn’t given me in too long.
“I behaved like a fool too,” you said, playing with my hands. “I know the whole Percy thing was hard for you, Donna, but… Don’t, don’t worry, we’ll both make an effort to be a bit better, okay? I love you so much, my love…”
“I love you, (Y/N)…”
65 notes · View notes
starryevermore · 3 days
Text
dumb love, i love being stupid ✧ ruhn danaan 
angst city™ library |send in a request (consultrequest faqs first)
pairing: ruhn danaan x fem!reader 
summary: you thought you had found your forever, but he wanted to keep it casual. 
word count: 2,346
warnings?: angst city™ bitch, not proofread
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“So how’s it going with that one girl? Been seeing her a lot lately.”
“Eh, we’re just keeping things casual,” Ruhn said, eyeing a pretty faun from across the bar. 
You watched as his friend—Declan, you realize—arched a brow, took a long sip of his drink. Ruhn couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes as Declan said, “That why you keep bringing her around so much?”
“We both know what this is. I like her company, so I invite her out sometimes. That a crime?” Ruhn didn’t wait for an answer. He set his drink down on the bar and began to make his way to the pretty faun. 
“Guess not.” Declan looked away from his friend, eyes somehow finding yours. Despite the distance and lighting, you couldn’t miss the flash of pity. 
Before he could say anything to you, you turned on your heel, ready to leave the White Raven with whatever scraps of your dignity you had intact. You pushed through the throngs of people, ignoring the annoyed voices of those who you accidentally elbowed in the process. You just needed to get out of there. 
A hand caught your arm just as the exit was finally in sight, pulling you to a stop. “Hey! Where are you going? The fun’s just about to start!” Bryce cheered. Behind her stood Hunt, who offered you a smile and a soft “hey.”
Wriggling lose of Bryce’s hold, trying to maintain an air of playfulness, you managed a laugh. “Some of us have early mornings and can’t party til dawn.”
Bryce rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a buzzkill. Do I need to drag Ruhn out of whatever corner he’s hiding in and convince you to stay?”
Your heart skipped a beat, and you prayed neither Bryce nor Hunt could hear it. “Didn’t realize he was here. Saw Declan for, like, half a second.”
She wiggled her eyebrows at you. “So that’s a yes? Getting your boy toy will get you to stay?”
“He’s not my boy toy,” you said, “and it makes me feel icky for you to call your brother that.”
“You’re no fun!” Bryce whined. 
Hunt, either because he believed your story about an early morning or because he could sense your unease, took Bryce by the waist and slowly began to urge her away. “C’mon, this is a losing battle.”
“Fine, but you’re coming to the party this weekend, right?”
You probably weren’t, but if agreeing was what it took to get out of the White Raven without crying in front of Ruhn’s friends, then that’s what you’d do. “Duh, you think I’d miss it?”
Bryce grinned, and Hunt finally successfully urged her into the crowd to find the rest of their friends. You loosed a breath, rolled your shoulders, and made your escape. No one stopped you again, or even spared you a glance. For that, you were grateful. You weren’t sure how much more people-ing you could handle. 
Unfortunately, you did plan on making one more stop before you went home. 
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Ruhn really needed a better hiding spot for his spare key. Was there anything more obvious than a potted plant by the door? It would have been laughable if you weren’t effectively breaking into his home. (Is it really breaking in if you found the key? And when the owner of said key told you where it was hidden?) 
You didn’t bother being quiet, figured that all of the home’s residents were out at the White Raven. Yet, when you shut the door, a voice had you jumping out of your skin. 
“Ruhn come back with you?” Flynn asked, leaning against the entry to the kitchen. 
You tried to steady your breathing and racing heart. “Nah. Think he’s at the White Raven with Declan. I was just swinging by to grab a couple things I left behind.” You held up the spare key for him to see. “Y’all need a better place for this than the only potted plant on the property. You’re practically asking someone to steal all your shit.”
Flynn nodded. “Cool, cool. Shout if you need anything, and try not to rob us blind, yeah?”
“Eh, I’ll leave your shit alone, but can’t say the same for Ruhn and Declan,” you joked despite yourself. 
He snorted out a laugh. “You’re funny. Shame Ruhn got to you first.”
You shrugged. “I’ll only be a few minutes.”
As you walked up to Ruhn’s room, Flynn disappeared into the kitchen. He’d probably leave you alone. As long as you don’t take a long time, probably. You didn’t plan on sticking around, though. You just wanted to grab your things and get out before Ruhn returned with that faun he was eyeing. If he thought this was casual, the last thing he would want is for you to be hanging around while he was trying to get lucky. 
Thankfully, you knew where most of your things were. A couple of shirts thrown in his closet, a jacket strewn over a chair. Some miscellaneous socks mixed in with his laundry. You grabbed your lipgloss you thought you lost from the bathroom, and the pretty hand towel you brought because there was no way in hell you were using the scratchy ones they bought in bulk. Your favorite bras, buried in the top dresser drawer. 
Once you were satisfied you got everything you cared about, you made your way out of the home, praying that you wouldn’t run into Flynn again. 
He was on the couch when you came out. He eyed the bundle of clothes in your arms. “Moving out?” he teased. 
“Getting this stuff out before he thinks I’m trying to move in.”
“You and I both know Ruhn wouldn’t mind if you did. Honestly, he’d probably be more offended you were sneaking all that shit out.”
Liar. “Eh, I need to wash all this and I don’t trust you idiots to not fuck all my nice stuff up.”
Flynn laughed, throwing his head back. “You make us sound like beasts!”
“Excuse you, I was here when your sheets were stained pink after a sock made its way into the machine, and when half of Ruhn’s clothes got bleach stains after one of you forgot to rinse out the drum,” you giggled.
Fuck, you wished you had fallen for Flynn instead. Or even Declan. They were easy to talk to, and wouldn’t make you feel like an idiot for thinking that something more than casual was going on. That was more your fault than anything, you supposed. You knew who Ruhn was when he approached you at the White Raven all those months ago. He never tried to hide who he was. You were the idiot who thought he might settle down.
“Fair enough,” Flynn laughed. “Hey, you be careful alright? Ruhn’d kill me if you got hurt after leaving here.”
You were already hurt, but Flynn didn’t know that. Didn’t need to know that. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, you mother hen.”
Flynn flipped you off as you left, still laughing. The bitter part of you thought he was laughing at you, knowing how big of an idiot you were. The more rational part knew he was just having a nice time joking around with you. Whatever. You probably weren’t going to be seeing him around much either way. 
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Loud knocking on the door woke you up. When you glanced at your phone for the time, it was barely one in the morning. Several more hours until you would need to start the day, and way too late for anyone to be bothering you right. With a groan, you got out of bed, wrapped yourself up with a robe, and went to the door, fully prepared to chew out whoever was interrupting your beauty sleep. 
You yanked open the door. Ruhn stood on the other side. Whatever steam you had rising up inside you dissipated when you saw him. 
Pulling the robe closer around you, you asked, “What are you doing here?” More questions stayed locked in your mind—Why aren’t you home? Why aren’t you with that pretty faun? 
“Flynn said you stopped by to get some of your things,” Ruhn said. “Looked like you took more than a few. Just wanted to see if you were alright.”
You opened the door wider so he could see into your small apartment. You gestured to the couch, where your laundry basket sat, topped off with the clothes you took back from his place. “Was needing to do laundry,” you lied. “Wanted to make sure all my stuff got washed.”
He pouted—actually pouted. “I could’ve done that for you.”
“It’s no big deal—”
“Or you could’ve done it at my place. Throw in a couple of my things if you didn’t have enough for a load,” he continued. Ruhn took a step into your apartment. You took a step back. “I like having your stuff around.”
“It’ll all probably end up there again anyways,” you shrugged. You doubted it. Ruhn might have wanted to keep this casual, but you weren’t that sort of person. You craved intimacy, the closeness of a relationship. If Ruhn wouldn’t offer that, you didn’t see the point in sticking around. 
Ruhn’s violet eyes searched yours. You weren’t sure what he was looking for. It would probably be easier to walk into your mind than try to pick it up with context clues, but you also didn’t want him anywhere near your head. You didn’t want to hear any excuses he had. Anyways, Ruhn was good about staying out of your mind. He said he didn’t want to violate your trust. What a joke. “Why didn’t you talk to me tonight?”
“Huh?”
“Dec said he saw you, and Bryce said you two talked. I was there, too. I know we didn’t plan on doing anything tonight, but I would’ve liked for you to say something.”
You crossed your arms over your chest. “Why are you really here, Ruhn? I know it’s not because I got my things or didn’t talk to you tonight.”
“Are we good?”
The scoff fell from your mouth before you could stop it. Seriously? Why did he even care? If this was casual, why did he care about your feelings? “You don’t have to pretend, Ruhn. I know you want to keep this casual.”
Ruhn blinked, slowly working his jaw. “What are you talking about?”
“If you want this to be casual, that’s fine. I mean, you wish you had told me that, but I can’t change the past. If you want, you know, company or whatever, that’s okay. But I’m not that sort of person. Let’s not let feelings get any more involved than they already are.”
Realization dawned in his eyes. It took him long enough. Ruhn was far from stupid. It didn’t make sense for it to take this long for it to all click. “You heard me and Dec.”
“And saw you with the pretty faun.”
Ruhn looked away. His jaw clenched and unclenched. “I didn’t realize you were there.”
“Does it matter that I was? I mean, if this is casual, you can flirt with anyone you want. You can fuck anyone you want.”
“Stop saying that,” he near-growled. You raised your brows. What right did he have to get upset? At you no less? Fuck, you needed to put an end to all of this. Tonight. Now. 
You couldn’t hide your own ire as you said, “Why? Only you get to call it casual? I get to sit around thinking that maybe you actually give a shit about me, that you want to stick around for the long term, but you get to sleep with half of the city. Do I have that right?”
“No.”
“No, I think I do,” you said. You reached out, started to push him toward the door. Ruhn snatched your hand and tugged you against him. “Ruhn, let me go.”
“No.”
“Let me go and get the fuck out of here.”
“No,” he insisted. It was hard to ignore the desperation in his voice, but you weren’t going to fall for any of his tricks. You fell for enough of him already. 
Tears pricked at your eyes. Godsdammit, you weren’t going to cry in front of him. He didn’t deserve to see you so vulnerable. Not anymore, at least. “I am not going to be the idiot in love with you,” you said, your voice thick, “not when you don’t give a shit about me.”
Ruhn’s eyes flashed. With what, you weren’t certain. “I fucking care about you!” he shouted. Oh, what you would’ve given to hear that just hours ago. Now, it meant nothing. 
“No. You either lied to Declan about this being casual, or you lied to me about wanting something with me. Either way, you lied. You do not lie to the people you care about.” You wrenched yourself away from Ruhn, grabbed the door, and pointed out to the hall. “Go. I won’t ask again.”
“I want to talk about this.”
You gestured into the hallway again. “I have nothing left to say. I’ve got neighbors, Ruhn, and you’re probably waking up the whole building.”
He said your name, so softly your resolve nearly crumbled. But you looked away, steeled yourself. You weren’t going to let yourself be treated like shit just for a fae who would never respect you. 
“Lose my number.”
Ruhn stepped toward you. He stopped right in front of you, brushed away a strand of hair that fell in your face. His eyes scanned over you, as if memorizing you. But you wouldn’t look at him. Couldn’t. Then he stepped through the threshold of the door, and you shut the door before he could say anything else, twisted the locks before he could try to open it.
You pressed your back against the door and sank down to the door. Face pressed against your knees, you began to cry, and you pretended you couldn’t hear Ruhn still standing on the other side. 
It was better off this way. 
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81 notes · View notes
volklana · 2 days
Text
Glorious
Title Comes From This Song:
Request: I decided to combine these two-
-Could I please request a modern Sihtric who is clearly suffering from PTSD because let's be honest he would. And he keeps trying to push you away because he thinks he's too much to handle
-I'd love a fluffy first date Sihtric x reader fic. With all the creative freedom to you!
Warnings: Mentions PTSD and smoking
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You leaned against the brick wall, trying your friend’s phone number only for it to once again ring out, and you sighed, hugging your top against your body to try fight back at the cold a bit. 
The club was going to be closing any minute now and you had no idea where your friend had gone to, and truth be told this wasn’t the first time she had done this to you. 
You put your phone back in your purse and weighed up your options, you could hang out in this ally (a side door off the club) another little while longer in the hopes she got back to you before the club closed, or you could admit defeat that she had gone home with some guy and hail yourself a cab home alone.
You tried her one more time, and this time you really did feel like crying.
You had only come out tonight for her, even though you had been really going through it lately, she had managed, as always, to guilt trip you into going out to the club, and now here you were alone and depressingly drunk and she was nowhere to be seen.
“Are you okay?” a voice suddenly called through the depths of your despair and you turned your head to find the most beautiful man you had ever seen propped up against the wall, leaning on one leg, inhaling a cigarette and looking at you with big worried eyes.
You shook your head sadly and he pushed himself away from the wall and came towards you.
“Do you need help?” he asked kindly and you shook your head softly but accepted the cigarette he offered you anyway, dipping your head towards the flame of his lighter to light it.
“My friend has abandoned me,” you offered as an explanation after you exhaled, “She always does this shit to me and yet I never learn.” 
“Sounds like a shitty friend,” he said truthfully, but sadly and you nodded because he was right.
“You got anyone else you can call?” he asked and you smiled at him, but shook your head.
“I’ll be okay, I’ll get a cab.”
“Is that safe? On your own?” he asked, looking into your eyes with concern and it was only then in that light that you realised he had two different coloured eyes, one a bright blue and the other a honey brown.
An expression you could not quite read crossed his face and you realised you had been staring, and you snapped to your senses “I’ll be okay,” you repeated once again but he didn’t look convinced.
“Sihtric!” a stern voice called from the doorway and he snapped to attention immediately, “Break time is over get your ass inside.”
The door slammed and Sihtric stomped his cigarette out. 
“I’ve gotta go,” he rushed “But I really wish you wouldn’t get a taxi alone,” he added “I would offer to walk you home but I gotta do the close up.”
You smiled, heart genuinely warmed by his concern and maybe it was the drink, or maybe it was because no one had shown genuine care for you in a long time, but you pushed up onto your tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “You are a kind man Sihtric, but I will be fine.”
You both made your way towards the door and Sihtric reached for your arm, “I didn’t catch your name,” he rushed and you giggled “It’s y/n,” before you headed back upstairs to the dancefloor and he watched you go before he made his way back into the bar. But he repeated your name in his mind over and over again so he would not forget.
“And you just let her go?” Osferth asked, wiping down tables, while Sihtric was cleaning glasses.
“Ya didn’t even ask for her number?” Finan quirked his head up from where he was counting tills and Sihtric deadpanned.
“It wasn’t like that guys, she wasn’t even interested in me.”
And even if she was, he thought she is too good for me.
“No?” Osferth smirked, catching Finan’s eye “But you were interested in her!” 
“Oh shut up I don’t know why I even told you guys,” Sihtric snapped, his cheeks tinged red with embarrassment.
“We’re not open yet, love,” Finan said, startled to have found a shy figure in front of the bar when he emerged from the cellar with a crate of beer in hand.
“I know,” you said shyly “But I was wondering if maybe Sihtric was here?”
Finan stopped in his tracks and a sad smile broke out across his face “He’s off today love, he won’t be back until tomorrow.”
You almost stood to attention and repositioned your bag on your shoulder as you rushed out “Okay, that’s no problem.”
“I could call him for you if you need him?” he offered and you shook your head profusely “No, no don’t bother him on his day off, it was honestly nothing. I’ll just be on my way.” 
“Wait. Woah, just hold on there a second,” he pleaded, coming around the bar and halting your departure “Maybe I could give him your number? Tell him you were looking for him?”
You felt suddenly embarrassed and foolish. Would he even remember who you were from the brief conversation you’d had a few nights ago. He was absolutely gorgeous; he must have girls queuing up to talk to him all the time. Damn was he even single?
But you suddenly realised Finan was still in front of you waiting for an answer and you nodded shyly “Sure,” and accepted the notepad and pen he handed you and scribbled your name and number, and you scarpered out before he you could change your mind it wasn’t until you left that a huge smile broke out across his face at the brackets beside your name (the girl from the ally)
Sihtric had barely hung up his leather jacket in the coat room when Finan burst in and scared him half to death. He chose not to make a big deal of the way he flinched so as not to embarrass him.
“Am I, or am I not your best friend?” he beamed and Sihtric looked at him dumbfounded.
“It’s a simple question, am I your best friend or not?”
“It depends on what you want.” Sihtric laughed.
“Ah but my friend it’s not a matter of what you can do for me, but rather what I can do for you,” he extended his hand and Sihtric locked in on the folded piece of paper in his hand.
“You only get this on the promise that you actually message her,” Sihtric nodded and unfolded the note, his heart beating a thousand beats a minute at your number.
He had searched the crowd for you every single night since your first encounter and he’d began to give up all hopes of finding you again.
He turned the crumpled piece of paper over and over in his hands on his break, trying to come up with what to say to you. Sihtric had never been confident with girls, he always fell easily, but could never fully open himself up to someone in case he got hurt, and he had spent his whole life being hurt.
He sent the message, a simple ‘Hey, this is Sihtric,’ and nearly vomited with anxiety.
“I’m so sorry, I’m not even sure what I was doing turning up like that yesterday,” you apologized and he couldn’t help the small smile and the way his heart fluttered “No, I’m so glad you did I was hoping I would bump into you again,” he replied honestly and you smiled in relief in your bed. 
You were surprised with how easily the conversation between you and Sihtric flowed, you were messaging non stop for days and then he called you unexpectedly on his walk home one night and you ended up talking way into the early hours of the morning. 
Days turned into a week or two, and you and Sihtrc never went a day without talking but thanks to his working evenings and weekends and your hectic job, it seemed impossible to plan a day to meet in person.
But soon calls were not enough and it turned into facetimes and you found yourself falling more and more for those eyes by the day.
Until you decided enough was enough and bit the bullet. 
“Are you working tonight?” you messaged as you were applying the finishing touches to your makeup. Your friend had once again begged you to come out, and this time you agreed, only with the hopes of seeing Sihtric again.
“I am love,” he replied sadly, “Did you want to call?”
You felt bad not replying, opting to hopefully surprise him when he saw you later. 
And his eyes nearly popped out of his head when you propped yourself up at the bar and asked for a drink.
“What are you doing here?” he beamed over the music and you swirled your straw around in your glass.
“My friend wanted to go out tonight, I think she’s got a new guy on the go.”
“And you?” he rushed, huge eyes taking in your club attire and his mouth went dry.
“I came here to meet a guy,” you teased and his heart fell into the pits of his stomach but he nodded quickly, hoping to mask his devastation. He didn’t.
“Sihtric,” you rushed, standing up and reaching for him “The guy I’ve come to meet is you!” You smiled up at him softly, realsing he had completely misunderstood you.
He looked to where your hand was in his and smiled shyly, twisting his hand to hold yours over the bar, and then brought your hand to his lips and placed a kiss there.
“Loverboy,” someone shouted and Sihtric sprang to attention “Could we get some shots over here?”
“I gotta-”
“Go- go!!” you urged laughing before making your way out onto the dancefloor. 
Sihtric kept his eyes trained on you all night, even though he was supposed to be working. He watched you beaming, smile contagious as you threw your hands up in the air, hair swishing to the beat and he was jealous. Jealous of everyone you danced with and jealous of how carefree you were, dancing as if nobody was looking. He realised with a gnawing feeling in his chest that you were free, truly free and it was a foreign concept to him. He was always on high alert, always awaiting the next danger, either real or perceived. 
He had always been like this. Clinging to the sidelines, watching from the safety of the shadows. Where he wouldn’t draw attention to himself, where he wouldn’t be perceived. 
You, on the other hand, you could let yourself be free, you let yourself live in the moment, not waiting for the next punch, the next fight or the next betrayal. He wondered briefly if his upbringing had been different, less violent, less hungry and less clinging to sheets in moldy apartments if he too could let himself go the way you did.  A deep sigh left his lips and he genuinely wondered if he could even have a place in your world, and then he felt selfish, maybe he should cut things off before he even tried to become part of your world, he would be a weight around your neck and he would never forgive himself if he was the reason you lost that sparkle in your eye. 
He jumped because Osferth was suddenly behind him and he hadn’t seen him approach, and he followed Sihtric’s  line of sight and smiled fondly when he saw you.
“I am under strict instructions to tell you that I am covering the rest of your shift and you are to go have fun.”
Sihtric whipped around and studied his young friend carefully, “But you never work the bar?”
“Tonight I do, so go and dance with your lady.” 
You watched in delight as Sihtric came out from behind the bar, and you fully expected him to make his way over to you but he walked right on past you towards the stairs and your stomach flopped a little. 
“The fuck is he doing?” Finan demanded and Osferth argued that he must be too nervous “Go after him. Please go after him,” he urged you from across the room and both of them silently cheered when you followed in his wake. 
You knew exactly where you would find him, out the side door smoking a cigarette and you were right.
“Did I make a mistake coming tonight?” you asked, voice small, “Sihtric we’ve been talking non stop. I just thought- I thought that you liked me,”
“I do,” he begged, turning to face you “I really like you. It’s me y/n,” he swallowed harshly and sighed, running his hands through his hair “I’m a lot okay? I’m carrying a lot of baggage, and I watched you tonight, look at you. You’re gorgeous.You’re a goddess and I will drag you down.” 
“So you’re bowing out before we’ve even tried?” you countered “You’d rather decide what I can handle for me instead of giving me the chance to make my own mind up?” 
He slumped against the wall, feeling like his heart was going to beat out of his chest, and you watched him in pain until you spoke again “Or are you bowing out first to try and protect yourself? It doesn’t hurt so much if you’re the one who decides it’s over first right?” 
Sihtric stopped breathing for a moment because he had never been read so clearly in all his life. You saw right through him.
“You don’t get it,” he said sadly “I can’t be carefree the way you are. I’m a lot to carry, I’m heavy and I’m- I think I’m fucked up, I’m different to everyone else.”
“Maybe I do get it,” you answered back “You’ve made up my story for me Sihtric but you don’t know the things I’ve come through to get to where I am right now, and I’m telling you this, you think you’re protecting your heart by shutting everyone out, but I promise you, you are only hurting yourself.” 
Sihtric considered you for a moment, eyes glassy before he blinked.
“You deserve someone- someone whole. Someone who hasn’t seen the things that I’ve seen, done the things that I’ve done. Don’t you get it? It’s not my heart I’m trying to protect, it’s yours. I don’t want to taint you with my darkness.” 
“Sihtric,” you cried, taking his hands in yours, delighted that he let you and didn’t pull away “I can’t even imagine what you’ve gone through to put up these walls and I’m not expecting you to just trust me, but can you trust that I am a big girl and I can handle a lot more than you think, and I would at least like to give us a try. Don’t you think we at least deserve to try?” 
Sihtric closed his eyes, head resting against the brick wall and you could feel his pulse, “I want to. I want to so fucking bad but I don’t know how to let you in,” he admitted. 
“Sihtric, look at me,” you pleaded and reluctantly he opened his eyes to meet yours “We don’t have to figure it all out tonight. All I ask is that you don’t push me away just because you’re scared?”
He nodded, eyes locked on yours “I’m sorry,” he told you gently, and you leaned up on your tiptoes to pull him into a hug.
“We haven’t even had a date yet and you’re already trying to get rid of me, that’s a new record, even for me.”
Sihtric laughed into your shoulder despite himself, and he released the breath he didn’t even know he was holding, feeling the tension leave his neck and shoulders.
“I did try to tell you I was a lot,” he countered and the two of you laughed, washing away the tension of the last few moments.
“Can I walk you home?” he offered after a few minutes in your embrace and you nodded.
“That was my plan all along,” you admitted and he smiled shyly. 
He just walked you home that night, refusing your offer to come up. Insisting that he at least take you on a proper date, after his embarrassing melt down at the club he felt he at least owed you that. You insisted on being on a call with him, his whole walk home so he wouldn’t be alone and he honestly didn’t know which gods to thank for sending you his way. 
“Will you finally tell me where we are going?” you begged, tugging on his hand and he smiled mischievously, “Can’t you just let me surprise you woman?” he teased and you fell in pace beside him happily.
He buzzed the doorbell of a studio apartment and you really had no idea where this boy was taking you, and as you stepped into the elevator he sensed you were going to ask him again, so he sighed and took your hand in his “We are almost there just be patient.”
The elevator doors opened and you stepped into what looked like an artist’s workshop/studio.
You took in the whole scene in front of you with childlike wonder before finally settling on Sihtric who was looking at you sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck, before he made his way over to a workbench and picked up a little wicker basket with a picnic and a bottle of wine inside.
“You mentioned that you loved painting but never get the time to do it anymore, I figured we could have some wine and paint a little?” His cheeks were tinged pink and he looked so embarrassed “It seemed really romantic in my head, I guess-we can do something else if you want-”
-”Sihtric,” you cut him off, tears in your eyes as you made your way over and cupped his face “This is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me,” you cried and the shy smile of relief that crept over his face was the cutest thing you had ever seen.
You had mentioned painting in passing weeks ago to Sihtric when he mentioned that he was an amateur photographer, but you had no idea that he would remember something as insignificant as that.
“Come on let me see?” he begged, and you swiped him away.
“My masterpiece is not complete yet,” you shooed him and he took another sip of his wine, you continued painting until a sudden flash pulled your attention and Sihtric was sat there with his camera in hand looking guilty. 
“I’m sorry,” he laughed “But you look so cute when you are concentrating, your little tongue poking out.”
You laughed shyly and applied the finishing touches before you sat back.
“Are you ready to see my masterpiece?” you laughed and he was out of his seat like a shot.
“Is that…Is that me?” he said flabbergasted “Y/n, I’m gonna cry, this is amazing!” 
“I tried my best to capture you. I fear it doesn’t do you justice though, you are more beautiful in person.”
Sihtric had to swallow a few times to genuinely gather himself unable to process the emotions he was feeling for you in the moment.
“Can I keep it?” he said so genuinely that you were rising to come stand beside him, “Sihtric,” you sighed reaching up to place a kiss to his cheek when he suddenly turned his face to capture your lips, hands flying up to cup your face, and you leaned into the kiss, kissing him back hungrily, and it was like a dam of wanting had burst open.
He backed you into an empty workbench, lifting you onto it and you locked your legs around his waist.
When your hands found your way into his hair he moaned suddenly into your mouth and you couldn’t help but capitalize on the moment, by running your other hand down to the waistband of his jeans and tugging at his belt as he attached his lips to your neck.
“Please,” he was begging, but he wasn’t even sure what he was begging for, more friction, more hair tugging just more of whatever you were willing to give him.
It had been months since anyone had touched him this way and he was afraid he wouldn’t last. Not when you made those precious sounds beneath him, or when you raked your nails along his back. His back that was marred with scars, but if you wanted to mark him he would wear those marks proudly.
He sucked on the soft skin of your neck as he moved inside you and your breathing quickened, he knew you were near.
“Let go. Let go for me,” he urged “I’ve got you.”
And you came around him with a cry, it was all he needed to let go himself.
Grunting from somewhere deep within his chest as he came apart.
You hissed when he pulled out and he went away to fetch some paper to clean up with.
“Gods, you are glorious,” he mused, as you sat up. brushing his fingers through your hair and tucking a strand behind your ear, you smiled at him hazily and he muttered “Just glorious,” again, before he dipped in to steal another kiss from your swollen lips.
Sihtric took your hand and led you through the flashing strobe lights and loud music.
He pulled you close and moved your body in time with his. Running his hands down your sides, grabbing your ass and grinding against you.
He knew his friends were watching but he didn’t care. All he cared about was you and you wanted to dance.
If you were able to nurse him through the nights he woke up screaming in terror, or anytime a loud or sudden noise startled him, he could do this for you.
And he was having fun, he couldn’t remember the last time he laughed so hard at your goofy and carefree dance moves.
The strobe lights above you made you look like nothing short of an angel and not for the first or last time, Sihtric thought you were glorious.
And he wished he could find the words to tell you that for the first time in years he felt weightless, carefree and safe, like you had taken a chisel and chipped away at all the heavy concrete blocks that were weighing him down, instead he settled on kissing you with all his might and he didn’t need to tell you.
You knew. 
Tagging:
@canyonmoon-2 @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @whitedarkmoonflower @thenameswinter99 @foxyanon
@acdassenza @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @gemini-mama
@troyottonick @alexagirlie
a-beaverhausen nebulamorada izzydlb knight-of-flowerss
justcuriousandbored
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asuyaka · 2 days
Note
Hiii, it's kind of a weird request so I totally understand if you ignore
Would you mind writing fluff with some comfort for Dazai with a trans male reader (ftm), when the reader is very transphobic (only) towards himself, because he doesn't want to be this way cause it's not something 'socially accepted?' the reader is rather chameleonic n generally cares a lot about how he's seen and if he fits in, going as far to change his whole way of acting based on who he's talking with or when he can't mirror someone's personality putting on a charismatic, playful, talkative facade. (Basically a social3 in detail but not manipulative if u know that term) because of his desire to climb social ladder and massive fear of lacking social acceptance, he tries to gaslight himself into thinking he's cisgender most of the time, which only makes him feel worse?? The 'all I want you to do is give me all of your love&applause and for return I'll be whoever you want me to be' type of performer.
Sorry for being picky but please don't write the reader as a submissive scared little thing that can't be assertive at all I hate that in comforts I beg u
★ - this hits so close t'home cause 've always struggled with my gender identity n'stuff then I realized there's a buncha labels, too many f'me to care about ! *^__^*
☆ - Dazai Osamu x FtM Reader!
♡ - really hope I wrote him well f'ya anon ! O(∩_∩)O | CW: copious amounts of misgenderin' (she/her & terms like 'girlfriend are used for the first half, please be warned !!) & transphobic language !
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[Name] looked at his her the outfit in the mirror, a black body con dress with a slit that ran up [Name]'s thigh.
The longer [Name] stared at the reflection the more an urge to throw up formed. Dazai would be the door for their date, and every dress [Name] tried didn't sit right.
They were either too tight, not tight enough, too short, too long, or too boxy— the point was nothing worked.
It didn't matter if [Name] put on a skirt or a crop top, they made everything feel worse to the point [Name] wanted to call the date off, but that would make her a bad girlfriend, and she wanted to be good.
The doorbell rang. "Babe? You haven't answered your phone, are you okay?"
[Name] groaned and opened the door. Dazai glanced over her outfit with wide eyes. "Wow. Uh, nice dress, but what's the occasion?"
[Name]'s eyebrow raised. "What do you mean? I always wear dresses."
Dazai walked into [Name]'s apartment and plopped onto the couch. "No, you don't. You told me you hate dresses and skin-tight clothes."
She glared at her boyfriend, a deep frown on her face before scoffing. "Okay, well, I like them now. Girls like dresses anyway."
The brunette paused his actions and stared. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
[Name] rolled her eyes. "What did I say?"
"You're joking, right? You aren't a girl— I asked you out because you're a man, and I wanted a boyfriend."
Boyfriend.
The title made [Name]'s heart well, like a warm blanket draped over her body. It didn't cause that sick, gut-wrenching feeling like 'girlfriend' but they weren't a boy.
They couldn't be a boy.
[Name] gulped thickly. "...I'm not a tranny, Dazai. What would my coworkers think? My parents? I can't— I was born a girl, Dazai, I shouldn't... feel this way."
Osamu gently holds [Name]'s hands. "Baby, what are you talking about? You've always been my boyfriend, you being born a woman doesn't change that."
"But I... it's— Osamu, it's not right. If I act too masculine, I could lose my job and have my neighbors hate me, but I fucking hate having to act like somethin' I'm not." [Name] sniveled, wiping his cheeks at tears that began to form.
Dazai guided his boyfriend to the couch and cupped his cheek. "You shouldn't have to change yourself to make other people happy. You're my boyfriend, the only boy in the world I've genuinely loved, and I don't want to see you destroy yourself for the better of someone else—people who don't even know you."
"If you lose your job for being you, then you could work with me. I'm sure Boss wouldn't mind having a new employee."
With a gentle kiss, Osamu chuckled. "And I'd finally get some work done so I can relax with my perfect boyfriend in the world."
[Name] sniffed as his boyfriend pressed another kiss on his wet cheek. "...is it 'cause you're lazy?"
"Eh... not lazy, just... working smarter and not harder!"
"Not working at all doesn't count, Osamu."
Dramatically, Dazai held a hand to his chest and rolled on the floor. "Woe is me! My boyfriend keeps bullying me even after I call him perfect! What do I do?"
He lightly laughed and placed a soft hand on Osamu's hair. "Maybe take him on a date?"
The brunette immediately sat on his knees with sparkles in his eyes. "He still wants to go with me?"
[Name] kissed Dazai's forehead and smiled. Even with the thoughts swirling in his head, Osamu always had a way to make him feel better. "He'd be delighted to go on a date with you."
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chvoswxtch · 22 hours
Text
a wrap on the bodyguard
this is a really bittersweet moment for me. i've been trying to find the words to really capture how i've been feeling about this whole thing, and I don't know if these are even enough to fully express it, but i've been sitting with this for a few days since posting the final chapter and watching y'all respond to it, and they feel right in this moment
when I first got the request for bodyguard frank, I had no idea it would turn into what it did. it never would’ve been possible without kate, whom I am immensely grateful for and forever indebted to, who gave me the gift of this incredible idea, and her wonderful friendship
even when so many of you asked for a part 2, I didn’t think it would go beyond that. but this very quickly became a passion project for me that I spent over a year and a half on, spanned 26 chapters, and is made up of roughly 130k words. it challenged me to step outside my comfort zone, and showed me I could do something I didn’t think I was capable of
to all of you who took the time to read this series, whether you kept up with it from the beginning, or you just recently found it and binged, to all of you who interacted with it and me in any way, from the bottom of my heart, genuinely and sincerely, thank you. you don’t know how much it meant to me. every single one of y'all have helped me to become a better writer and gave me more confidence in myself, and showed me to grant myself more grace when it came to being overly self-critical
I have loved books since I was a shy kid who struggled to make friends, whose only way of traveling and meeting new people sometimes was in those books, and being an author and creating that feeling for someone else has always been a dream. because of y’all, that dream has come true. I looked forward to seeing the reactions and comments and feedback from every single one of y’all every single time, and getting to watch y’all fall in love with something I created was such an incredible experience
if you’re looking for your sign to start that project or post that thing you did, do it. creating is hard, and sharing it with the world is scary, but it is such a rewarding thing, and you never know what it could turn into
I am so unbelievably honored and overwhelmed and blown away by the kindness and love y’all have shown this story, and me. I am so happy it brought so many of y’all to me, and that it’s created friendships I cherish so much. this story was a gift to me that I feel so lucky to share with all of y’all. so please, enjoy it as much as you like, it’s yours
with all the love in my heart,
court 🖤
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awakenedevildays · 2 days
Note
Heyy I loved “naps and forgetfulness” and was wondering if you could maybe make a part 2??
「Annoying customers and Star Wars」 Stiles Stilinski x F!reader
I had the most annoying costumer ever at work the other day and I thought of using it as a sequel to this story, I hope you'll like it and thank you so much for requesting, dear, this was so fun to write! 🩷
━━━•❃°•°❀°•°❃•━━━
"oh! is that my boyfriend that actually remembered me?!" you ask as you walk out of your working place. Stiles, who's sitting on the drivers seat of his Jeep, looks up from his phone and looks at you with pursued lips and guilty eyes. 
"that's me." He laughs as he gets off his car to walk towards you. He is so pretty you can't help but feel a swarm of butterflies in your stomach when he's near enough to grab your cheeks and kiss you lovingly. His lips are on yours for a few seconds before he breaks the kiss with a content hum to grab your waist, "hey pretty, how was your shift?" his eyes, those big brown eyes of his, look at you with such love and adoration that your heart clenches and the tiredness of your four hours shift disappears.
"It was good, but a lady was really rude to me" you say as Stiles guides you towards the other side of the Jeep to open the door for you. 
His ears perks up at that, despite the fact that he feels bad when you have a bad shift, he loves to listen about all the dramas "mh? what happened?" He asks as he waits for you to get on the passenger seat before closing the door to jog back to the driver seat.
"oh you got me food from Burger King! thank you Sti'" you say after smelling the delicious smell of burgers in the car and you don't waste time to open the bag to eat right away.
"you're welcome baby, so what happened?" he asks after receiving a so deserved 'thank you' kiss from you.
"Well, first of all, in the busiest day for a restaurant, she didn't book a table and EXPECTED to have one right away!" You start after taking a bite from the hamburger, god, it's so good.
He scoffs "are you serious? that's just stupid, how could she expect for it to be empty on a Friday night?" he says as he starts the engine.
"Right?! so I told her that she and her son would have to wait for at least twenty minutes and she scoffed at me!" 
"Unbelievable, and what happened next?" he asks and opens his mouth when you bring a chip close to his mouth.
"When a table finally got freed up she didn't want it because it was too close to the toilets and she didn't want to eat with the door opening and closing repeatedly and people passing every two minutes." 
"and let me guess, after that you kindly told her to go fuck herself, right?"  he looks at you for a second before looking back at the road as you keep on eating. 
"I really wanted to! so I told her that we could've moved the table a bit away from the bathroom and she said it wasn't away enough" you keep on going and feed him another two french fries.
Stiles snorts at that "oh my God, she just wouldn't stop bitching, what a Karen". 
"and it isn't even over yet! I tried to give her another table that got freed up in that moment but guess why it wasn't good enough for her?" 
"the table cloth wasn't white enough?" he says as he rolls his eyes.
"it was too close to the opened window AND it hadn't been cleared yet and she didn't want to sit in a still unmade table, I mean- the people who were sitting there had just stood up, what did she want me to do?" you add as he stops at a red light and steals another chip.
"oh she's just ridiculous, you should've just kicked her out" he says and you grab his hand to play with it.
"I wish I could've, it took her 30 freaking minutes to choose what to eat because she and her son didnt do anything but looking at their phones and guess what? She wanted to eat the only dish that I told her wasn't available anymore tonight and she whined about it for MINUTES." 
"what the hell was wrong with her!?" 
"I don't know, it's like she came here to annoy me! I gave her so much attention that I had to ask Logan to cover the other tables I was serving until she was gone." You munch on your almost finished burger.
"I'm sorry baby, you did not deserve that witch." 
"I wanted to cry, really. And after they were done eating she didn't even leave a tip, I mean- didn't she see how whiny she was and how patient with her I was?!"  you ask while pointing at yourself as Stiles reluctantly moves his hand to use the gear stick.
"what a fucking karen, she's a bitch, I hope she... broke a nail or something" he says as he starts the car again when the light turns green.
"woah, you kiss your dad with that mouth?" you ask sarcastically at his attempts to be 'aggressive' or... whatever that was, he pinches your thigh lightly as response before stealing, again, some of your food... you don't mind though.
"hey! don't act like I couldn't be a bad boy if you wanted me to, I'm pretty badass" he avoids to look at you as he says it, he's so cute that you can't even imagine him as a 'bad boy'.
you snort at that "nah, I'm good with my sweet and cute boyfriend" you comb back his hair as he keeps his eyes on the road.
"yeah? you don't prefer a strong, masculine and very bad boy with a leather jacket and maybe a motorcycle?" he asks as you keep your hand in his hair, he's enjoying all the attentions so much that he could literally purr in content.
"I prefer cute, sarcastic nerds with Jeeps and obsession with star strek" you say as you put back the papers covering the finished burger with your free hand. 
"Star Wars, baby" he corrects you for the millionth time as he takes your hand from his head to bite it lightly as to scold you, after all, he already corrected you many, many times.
"yeah, yeah, the same thing" you answer dismissively and Stiles keeps your hand in his on his lap.
He rolls his eyes at your words "it's not the same thing, they're very different."
"I'm not gonna have this conversation with you... again." you answer before he can start his rambling about why the two shows are different (they're not).
"you're just not cultured enough to understand the differences, babe" he says while squeezing your hand. "Can't you see you're embarrassing yourself? you can't go around in this world without knowing the difference! if you could give Star Wars a chan-"
"We're not gonna watch Star Wars!" you state as you start eating the leftover chips.
"But why not!? we've watched Harry Potter a thousands times!" he looks at you with an expression of disbelief and disappointment.
"It's different! Harry Potter is actually entertaining and you love it too." You keep in a laugh.
"yeah, yeah, whatever, you like it because of Harry and your massive crush on him in the fifth and sixth movie" he says just to tease you a bit.
"I- how do you know that?! I never told you-" you're flabbergasted, you didn't think he would actually notice it.
"Oh please! those are the only two movies you watch without looking at the phone even once." Fuck, are you that obvious? His scolding eyes tells you that yes, to him,, at least, you're actually that obvious. 
"oh because you definitely don't find Hermione hot in the seventh movie?" you ask already knowing the answer and your boyfriend opens his mouth in shock.
"I can't believe you're calling me out like this" he replies with an embarrassed expression on his face that tells you that you're absolutely right. "but... but what about Darth Vader, baby, he's hot too!"
"who's Dart father? The cute one with curls and blue eyes?" 
"Vader, baby and yes, Hayden Christensen." he corrects you... again, he turns towards your house. 
"Oh yeah he is so handsome! but I won't watch Star Wars, end of story." 
He sighs and looks back at the road "I'm still gonna get you into Star Wars, I don't care if I have to play the 'I'm the man in this relationship' card"
"you would never use that card" you say as a matter of fact and Stiles pursues his lips, got him. 
"shut up, woman" he demands but mutters a small 'sorry' right after that makes you giggle lovingly at him. 
"So... if we're not gonna watch Star Wars nor Harry Potter what would you like to watch tonight?" you ask to change the subject as you finish the last fries.
He thinks about it for a second, he's not in the mood for a horror movie but he doesn't want to watch another of your rom-com movies either because he'd have to watch his every move to not fall asleep before them even getting to the good part, so he says "let's just watch The Office, okay? there are still some episodes left"
"'kay" you only say as you see your street coming into view.
"God, I'm craving a shower so badly right now" he groans as he parks the Jeep in front of your house, his whole body is still sore after lacrosse practice and he's in dire need of some relaxation time.
"don't tell me, I smell of every type of smell that can be present in a restaurant" you say while getting out of the Jeep.
Stiles chuckles at your words while he exits the car too and follows you to the front door "oh I don't know, you're kind of hot after your shifts at work" he says jokingly as you unlock the door.
"and they say romance is dead" you roll your eyes and let Stiles in after you.
"I know, right?"
━━━•❃°•°❀°•°❃•━━━
Harry Potter is underrated in his own saga, and I stand by that.
Hope you enjoyed, recommendations, suggestions and requests are always welcome and open! <3
Do not copy or repost.
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cher-rei · 21 hours
Note
Can I request a Jamal fic where the reader is his girlfriend but she’s an interviewer and she’s tasked to interview him and he tries to distract her and make her laugh the whole time when she’s supposed to stay professional.
man of the match– jamal musiala [ J.M ]
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I thought that I was dreaming, when you said you loved me [ivy— frank ocean]
pairing: jamal musiala x fem!reader
summary: composure on camera?? what even it that?
genre(s): fluff
[w.c: 806] masterlist
notes: I wrote this in like 30 minutes help
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the stadium's thunderous applause enveloped jamal as he accepted his man of the match trophy, his eyes shining with pride. you, with your mic in hand, stepped forward, professional smile faltering for a moment when your eyes met.
this wasn't the first time that you were tasked to interview your boyfriend, and it definitely won't be the last. but whenever you caught him on the pitch for a quick word for the camera, he couldn't stop the smile that crept onto his lips. it was just another reason to tease you, and he found it difficult to not lose himself in your eyes.
and today wasn't any different.
“jamal, congratulations on an incredible performance! would you care to take us through your thoughts on today's match?” you asked, your voice carrying over the din and for a moment he didn't answer.
he just stood there, trophy in hand with a smile that was all too contagious for your liking. it was as if he was mapping your features that he's more than familiar with, but he would never get sick of it. his dazed gaze travelled from your glistening eyes, to your flush cheeks under the stadium lights.
when you realized what was happening you cleared your throat and kicked his leg, thankful that it was out of frame. he jolted up, recollecting his thoughts with a bashful laugh.
“thank you! I think the team played amazingly. and I'm not just saying that because i got the award today,” he chuckled and you felt your smile deepening with a fond warmness.
as you continued with the questioning, jamal's mischief began to surface. he playfully examined the award, pretending to admire his reflection in the it's shiny surface.
“do you think I should get a haircut? this trophy makes my hair look weird,” he joked, running a hand through his locks.
you blinked up at him for a moment, a confused hum leaving your lips as you looked back to the camera but when you looked back at jamal, he was gesturing the award in your direction— your reflection clearly showing, which made him coo in awe.
your eyes sparkled, lips twitching but you had to remain composed. “j, focus please.”
the footballer feigned innocence, putting a hand on his chest in mock offense. “what? I'm just making sure that I look good for the cameras.”
the surrounding cameramen and interviewers couldn't help but laugh at his charming response, and your composure began to slip.
you sighed. “okay, let's try again. what was going through your mind during that stunning goal?”
jamal's expression turned thoughtful, but only for a moment, which gave you hope thay you'd get a proper answer this time around. “actually, I was thinking that you were going to kill me if I don't give you a good interview.”
your face flushed and your eyes darted around the stadium before returning to your boyfriend was visibly pleased with how riled up he was getting you. he wasn't going to hear the end of it on the ride home but he didn't care because what did you expect?
“you're impossible,” you muttered, causing the nearby operators and journalists to snicker, drawn in by the lighthearted banter.
you had to continue though, regardless of jamal's unseriousness. “and what about the team's strategy for the next match?”
jamal leaned in at the question,conspiratorial whisper escaping his lips. “I'll tell you a secret. we're going to…” he leaned in, pausing ever so subtly which had you leaning in out of genuine curiosity, his answer exciting you. “...play really well!”
this boy.
the crowd erupted into laughter, and you playfully rolled your eyes. “thanks jamal, that was really enlightening.”
as the interview concluded, you did get a few good answers and comments out of him and he handed you his award, his fingers brushing against yours. “hold this for me please, love. I need to get my phone out.”
your heart leapt at the term of endearment that he nonchalantly let slip, the flush on your cheeks earning a laugh from your boyfriend who was more than delighted you have you this shy in public.
still, jamal wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you in closer for the picture. there was nothing to do but oblige, so you held the award close and smiled warmly. the camera flash from the photographers went off as well to illuminated your beaming smiles as you posted together.
your laughter lingered, along with his arm around your waist. the stadium was captivated with the chemistry between the two of you, a comfortable atmosphere settling around the two of you as you went though the pictures.
when everything was over you hopped onto your tiptoes and placed a gentle kiss onto your boyfriend's cheek. “well done, baby. you were amazing today.”
it was jamal's turn to be a blushing mess, his legs nearly giving in on him at the sudden affectionate gesture. you clapped your hands in triumph, turning quickly to look at the cameramen in front of you.
“yes! did you get that on camera?”
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geddy-leesbian · 24 hours
Note
Hii 41 maybe? Hdvwvshd
41: comfort food
One of the very first things Luis had said in the hospital, still groggy and disoriented, was a muttered, barely understandable request for hot chocolate. Leon would have done anything for him, but unfortunately getting him hot chocolate wasn't an option, not when he was still in bad shape in a hospital bed, with so many tubes and monitors surrounding him.  But Leon never forgot the groggy request. He kept it in the back of his mind, waiting for the day Luis was coming home and wouldn't have doctors and nurses watching him closely, keeping track of everything he ate. Now it's here, Luis is finally home in Leon's house.  He got the best of everything. The nicest hot chocolate packets the store had, milk, marshmallows and whipped cream.  Luis doesn't smile when he takes a drink.  “Is it bad?” Leon asks. “Did I fuck something up?” “No, it's good. It's really good. That's the problem,” Luis pauses for a moment, looking like he's trying to gather his thoughts. “Back in Valdelobos, one of our laboratories had a little sitting area with some hot drink vending machines. So I'd pop over there, talk to the coworkers I liked and trusted, then get myself a vending machine hot chocolate before heading back to my own laboratory. It was some awful stuff. Possibly the worst hot chocolate this world has to offer. But I grew to love it, because it reminded me of my coworkers and was the closest thing I had to a luxury in that hell hole.” “Hang on.” Leon retreats back to the kitchen to make another mug of hot chocolate. No milk this time. Just water, with only some of the packet. “Alright, sweetheart, how's it taste this time?” “It's awful,” Luis smiles. “Just the way I like it.”
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That’s amazing. Of course everyone needs to start somewhere. Of course I understand not everyone likes writing smut.
Young Charles Xavier x reader. She’s also has a mutation. She’s kicked out by her parents when they find out that her boyfriend is in a wheelchair. She turns up in the pouring rain with her puppy under her jacket to keep them dry and a black eye because her dad hit her (you don’t have to write that just imply it)
Hope that’s not to detailed but wanted to give you as much detail as I could to help you write it.
Can you please tag me in any future X-Men fanfiction you write.
Xx
A.N: Okay, I finally got around to finishing this. I'm actually quite proud of it given it's my first time EVER writing fanfiction and especially with it being a request. I hope you enjoy it even though it is a bit cliche at times. Also, there is slight ableism given the prompt, I did some research to make sure I wasn't using any slurs but if I am wrong PLEASE let me know. I will change it.
Word Count: 1251
Pairing: Young Charles Xavier x Female!Reader
Warnings: Ableism (Only a small sentence), gets kind angsty
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You didn’t really know how they had found out. You were so careful. Building a wall of lies so thick and so far that you could no longer see the ends. 
You suppose that somewhere along the lines you’d missed a spot, one vital brick that tumbled down the entirety of your life. 
Your parents had only just started getting around to the idea of having a ‘freak’ of a daughter. Constantly telling you how lucky you were to at least look ‘normal’ and not like those ‘other ones’. 
You were one of the good ones. 
They had laid the rules out simply. They didn’t care about your abilities as long as they stayed outside the house and as long as you married a ‘regular human being’. It seemed simple enough and studying for a masters (which they paid for) you figured one more year of hiding wouldn’t be so difficult.
What you never considered was falling madly in love with another mutant. You’d been convinced for so long that you were completely alone in the walls you’d built, that when you met a man who could literally tear them apart you had no choice but to let yourself go.
The argument had started at dinner. It’d been a long day of research which had resulted in nothing but a dead end. Exhausted from sitting reading at a desk all day, you just wanted to get through the traditional family dinner and get straight into bed.
You were sitting in your usual chair, facing your mother while your father sat at the head of the table. It’d been eerily silent from the moment you’d sat down but didn’t mind given your exhaustion.
Suddenly, your father put down his utensils, “I’ve set up a dinner, next week with the neighbors boy,”
Thinking you hadn’t heard correctly, you turn to face him, “pardon?”
“It’s about time that you start thinking of settling down,” your father continues, “most normal girls your age are on their way to having their first child,”
You hear the implication in his voice even if he hadn’t outright said it. Irritated, you push your plate away.
“I am a normal girl, dad,” 
You hear your mother sigh, but you can’t seem to look away from your fathers face that twitches in irritation.
“You know what I meant,” he says your name as if it's a burden. He says it as if you were a curse on his normalcy.
You roll your eyes, “yes I know exactly what you meant, father, and I’m not going to be dressed up like some doll to be paraded for the neighbors boy,”
Another twitch, you know you are pushing him too far, but you can’t seem to care anymore.
“He is of good breeding and a wealthy background,” he picks up his utensils again, “the dinner will be on Monday,”
“Breeding?! I’m not cattle, father,” 
Your fathers face contorts into a scowl and you know he’s losing patience with you, “He will assure you are the last of your kind in my bloodline,”
You can feel your whole body shaking, “I will not go to that dinner, father,”
You hear your mother whisper your name, you suddenly realize that the shaking wasn’t just within your body but the whole house. With your emotions rampant you couldn’t control your powers as naturally as you normally could.
Breathing in and breathing out, you calm yourself enough to stop the shaking. Your father, however, is maroon with malice. You have pushed him too far.
“I will not let my grandchildren be the offspring of a freak and a paralytic!”
You feel your heart stop. Your mind is racing, unstoppable thoughts wreak havoc in your head. He knew. He knew and now your life is over.
“Father-”
“You thought I wouldn’t find out?” Your father continues to yell, “you thought I’d let you disobey me without consequence?”
You could feel your breathing increase as you enter a panic. Everything is muffled, your father continues yelling but you can’t hear a thing he is saying. You have to get away. You have to get to Charles. 
Without realizing, you stand, turning to leave the table, trying to find an escape. With one step, your father is in front of you, rough hands clamping down on your shoulders, forcing you still.
“Let me go,” you whisper, looking down away from your father. 
“I forbid you from seeing that man again!” 
“Let me go,” you feel the ground tremble beneath you.
“He’s one of you isn’t he?” Your fathers grip tightens on your shoulders, “he’s a freak!”
“Let me go!” You shout back in his face. You don’t initially feel the strike, but you can feel the heat begin to blossom around your eye. And you feel the ground erupt into endless shudders as you watch your father lose his balance and fall to the floor.
With the last of your strength, you run towards your room grabbing your research and your puppy that likes to sleep under your bed. As you race to the front door, you glance at your mother fussing over your father, who is still laid on the floor.
Stopping you turn to face your parents, “I am not a freak. Just because I am different doesn’t mean I’m lesser than,”
You turn to open the front door and with foot out your childhood home, you turn one last time, “I’ll never treat my children the way you’ve treated me, mutant or not,”
With those final words, you run into the rain, hailing the first taxi you see.
It wasn’t until you were at Charles’ front door, drenched and with your puppy under your coat, that you realized how bleak your situation truly was. 
No home, no parents, no education. 
With nothing left to lose, you knock as loudly as you can, hoping anyone would hear you over the pounding rain.
Almost immediately, the door swings open. 
Hank at first looks at you with confusion and then concern. He drags you inside and in the same breath yells for Charles.
The second you see Charles look of concern as he approaches you, you feel the tears start to form in your eyes. Finally able to let go, you feel yourself crumble with the weight of the night.
In no time, Charles holds you in his arms, stroking your soaked hair, whispering into your ear, “it’s okay darling you’re safe now, you’re safe here,”
Once you’ve calmed down, you pull away from him holding your own weight again. His hands don’t leave your face, careful with your already bruising eye.
He whispers your name. He whispers it like prayer, like there’s no one else in the world except you and him. He strokes your cheek with his thumb, “How about we run you a warm bath?”
With no strength left to speak and knowing you didn’t need to, you nod into his hands, closing your eyes and soaking in the comforting warmth he exudes. From within your jacket, you feel your puppy shuffle, stuck in between your torso and Charles’ legs. Pulling away slightly, your puppy leaps away from you and begins sniffing around Charles’ wheelchair.
“I see you’ve brought a friend, darling,” he chuckles, as he watches your puppy continuing to adventure.
You hiccup trying to find the words, “I couldn’t leave him in that house,”
Charles looks back at you, his blue eyes wide adoration, “he has a home here, he’ll always a home here,”
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softquietsteadylove · 2 years
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AND you did it again, life interrupted is now my favorite AU thank you so much for writing more of it!! Gil is so sweet and Druig just wants whats best for his big sister 🥹 would love love love to see something where Thena is having a Bad Day and Gil is just being extra kind and gentle and soft w her, maybe even it gets to the point where Thena explains what happened to her and why she’s lost her way a bit. Sorry I cannot stop thinking about this AU but as usual anything you write will make me lose my mind with its perfection!!!
Thena sniffed, sitting at Gil's kitchen as he poured her a glass of water. Her hands still had a slight shake to them, even though it had taken them fifteen minutes to walk to his place.
Gil still didn't know exactly what had happened. Just that one minute she was fine and the next she was trembling with her arms wrapped around herself. He had thrown his coat around her shoulders and gotten her home without further incident. He hadn't asked about it yet, either.
From the moment they walked in, all he'd done was whisper sweet nothings and reassurances and been nice and gentle with her. All he'd done was be perfect.
"Hey," Gil whispered as she took a sip without the glass shaking too badly. He leaned his head down to get a look at her, eyes searching for anything wrong and what he might be able to do about it. "Better?"
Thena gulped, nodding. How did she ever find such a perfect soul as Gilgamesh?
"I'm gonna name off a few things," Gil said softly, hovering close but not too close. "You tell me what sounds good, okay?"
Thena nodded again. Maybe she wanted to tell him he didn't have to coddle her. Maybe she wanted to pretend everything was fine. Maybe she wanted to lie down on his floor and sob until Druig came to pick her up.
"Something to eat?" God, no, she couldn't bear the thought of food (not even Gil's). "Nap?...couch?"
Gil smiled as she nodded. He tilted his brows up at her, "want me to carry you?"
Thena's eyes watered, and it seemed as good as a 'yes' in Gil's eyes, because he didn't hesitate to scoop her up bridal style and carry her to his living room. She pressed her tears into his shirt. "I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said as sure as anything. He sat himself down, letting her curl up against him on his lap. He held her gently, but firmly.
"I didn't want..." Thena trailed off. There were a lot of things she didn't want, and having a panic attack in the middle of their date was definitely pretty high on that list.
"It's okay, Thena," Gil whispered, running his hand over her hair and holding her around the waist. "All that matters to me is that you're feeling better."
Thena sighed, burying her face against his shoulder again. He was perfect--too perfect. "Too good for me."
"No," he was quick to deny. He twisted her hair over her shoulder so he could bury his nose against the side of her neck. "You deserve to be taken care of, Thena."
She wished she felt that way.
"You are so important to me," Gil whispered against her cheek, leaving light kisses there. "I asked you out for the same reason I started saving lunch for you."
Thena pulled away now just to look at him curiously.
He smiled that same smile that had first stolen her heart back in the psych ward. It was warm, and gentle, and even when she'd been medicated to heaven and back, she'd been able to feel her heart beating faster at the sight of it. It was all the medicine she needed.
"I did it to see that smile," he said gently, running his thumb along her jaw line, as if to pull her lips into a smile like smoothing a crease out of a fitted sheet. Her smile did appear, and his doubled in size. "There it is!"
Thena let out a small, shaky, watery sounding laugh. But Gil pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead to express how pleased he was by it, no matter how fragile it was. She sighed, letting his warmth and the smell of his aftershave swim around in her head.
Gil let her take her time, happy to hold her--to have her safe in his arms. He nuzzled her gently, tapped his fingers against her leg, rubbed her back and petted her hair.
Thena pressed her forehead under his chin. "Druig asked me to go with him to tell our father and step-mother that he wanted--wants to propose."
Gil waited for her to go on at her own pace.
Thena resettled herself in his arms. He was so comfy. "I told him he shouldn't try to involve them, but I imagine he still has some slight desire to feel like a family."
"I agreed to go with him, but our father didn't take the news particularly well. He's always been hard on Druig, and this time his temper was just...I had never seen them like that."
Gil ran his fingers through her hair as her breath hitched.
"They were so angry, and they started shouting," she continued, voice pulled thinner until it was a whisper. "Ajak told them to stop, but it just made it worse. Druig isn't big enough to fight him."
Her sentences were becoming fractured again--something she hadn't been able to completely break herself of after being in the psych ward those three months.
"I was scared," she whimpered, and Gil responded by holding her tighter. "I thought they were going to kill each other."
"You got in between them?"
She nodded, and Gil's hand gripped her shoulder. It was just short of too tight, but she could imagine it wasn't pleasant to imagine for him. "I pulled our father off of Druig, clawing at him. He turned around and..."
Gil sucked in a breath through his nose and held it, but he said nothing. She had more to say, and he wasn't about to interrupt her.
"Ajak ended up calling the police," Thena regained some strength in her voice, deep, deep in the memory of the fateful night. "It was agreed that no charges would be pressed if Druig took some time off work, Father performed some community service, and I-"
"Got checked into the hospital?" Gil asked, sounding more baffled than when he'd guessed she had gotten involved in their fight. "Why were you the only one with that punishment?"
Thena shrugged. "I'm sure they were more likely to believe in my hysteria than their anger."
Gil scoffed.
"I suppose in fairness to them," Thena shrugged, "they did arrive to me telling our father I would kill him."
"Well," Gil shrugged as well to match her lighter tone, "it sounds like he deserved it."
Thena let out another - stronger - laugh. How as he so perfect.? She emerged from the memory to look at him properly. He brushed some hair back from her face and let the hand drift over her cheek. She leaned into his touch achingly. "I'm afraid it's not very pleasant. But that's how I ended up meeting you."
"Well, I hate to say anything good came of that," Gil mumbled, as if sharing a secret with her. "But...I'm still glad you ended up in my lunch line."
She laughed again, smiling through the last of her unshed tears.
"I guess that's pretty selfish of me," he whispered, still looking at her with those eyes and that smile--the only things that would bring her comfort when she was in that hellhole.
"It's okay," she whispered back, "you can be selfish."
Gil closed his eyes as she leaned forward to kiss his cheek.
"That wasn't the first time they'd ended up like that, just the worst of them," Thena continued, somewhat easier now. "I've always been spooked by shouting and loud noises ever since my father's first truly bad display of temper."
Gil just nodded, pulling her head against his again. There had been a scuffle in the crowd outside the cinema--that was what had triggered her. "I'm sorry."
Thena shook her head, pursing her lips. "Every time, I think I can move past it-"
"You don't have to," he gripped her shoulder. "I know you might not like it, but it's a part of you. And we don't have to like it all the time to accept it--that it comes with you as a package deal."
Thena wilted against him. "Are you sure you're not a therapist from the psych ward disguised as a cook?"
Gil laughed, his chest vibrating against her shoulder in a very comforting way. "Guess I've heard enough group sessions in the cafeteria to have picked up some things."
Thena stretched out in his embrace like a cat in front of a fire. She was positively worn out from all the events of the day. "You're perfect."
"No one's perfect," he corrected softly, "but I guess...I really want you to feel like you can be yourself around me."
Gil changed his position as well, lying on his side with her still curled up against him. He budged the throw pillow more under her head than his. "I know we didn't meet in a...traditional way."
What an understatement.
"But," he threaded their fingers together, his breath hitting her face as he whispered, "I want this to work, Thena. I want to be here to make you smile every single day--just once, if you don't want to too much."
Thena laughed, her forehead bumping against his in their proximity.
Gil inhaled, looking like her laughter was something that could be injected into his veins for energy. "Maybe a laugh once a day--it is the best medicine."
Thena, lying on her side, staring at this wonderful, perfect man, shook her head. He blinked at her denial, but she smiled so wide her cheeks hurt, "you."
Gil's eyes slid closed as she leaned forward, touching her lips to his ever so gently. He returned the kiss, soft and sweet as it was--nothing demanding or intense. Just a little exchange of affection. His eyes fluttered open and he had this dopey smile on his face.
Thena let her eyes drift down between them to their connected hands. She flexed them a little, to test if it was really real. But his fingers slid down to clasp around her hand more firmly.
Gil pressed a kiss to her forehead, "tired now?"
Thena nodded, shimmying to properly nestle herself into him.
Gil wrapped an arm around her, letting his hand spread over her back as if that alone could protect her from today and every one to come. "I'll be right here."
Thena smiled against his shirt, drinking in the scent of his detergent and the warmth of his arm around her. "Perfect."
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