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arizona2004 · 3 years

Note

Hey can you please do a azriel x reader where the reader is struggling with bad mental health (maybe an Ed) because I’m struggling myself rn and alsao there’s not enough of them :). I can totally understand if you didn’t feel comfortable doing it

Okay, here it is. Everyone responds to their eating disorders differently, especially depending on the ED and severity of it. I hope this has what you’re looking for, though.

Azriel x reader

Word count: 1499

Warnings: Eating Disorders! The reader struggles with an ED and some depression and anxiety and a little OCD. Please don’t read if you think reading the unhealthy thoughts of someone with an eating disorder may cause you to relapse. It is not healthy to think about food and eating in this manner. Love you all. Don’t forget to eat something and drink some water.

Waking up, I immediately don’t want to get out of bed. I pull the covers over my head, keep my eyes closed, and scrunch my legs up to my chest. When I wake up again, it’s only a little later in the morning. I still don’t want to pull myself out of bed, but I can’t fall back asleep. So I just lay there. Turning to Azriel’s side of the bed, I notice he’s not there. Well, of course not; he’s already left for work. I stare at the spot he usually occupies before finally sitting up and checking the clock. It’s 10 am.

Standing, I wrap my robe around myself and walk out of the room, refusing to look in the mirror. I practice breathing evenly and focus on my routine. I need to eat breakfast. I spend nearly 20 minutes in the kitchen, moving around, deciding what to eat. I’m opening cabinets and closing them, finding nothing satisfactory. Eventually, I decide to make some bacon. The stove is on, and bacon is sizzling. The scent of bacon is wafting toward me, and I feel like being sick. I can’t eat bacon; it’s greasy and fatty. Toast, I think, I’ll make toast. So I put the bread in the toaster and let it cook. It’s only when the toast is cooked that I start thinking about the carbs that go into it. I haven’t been exercising enough recently. I shouldn’t eat so many carbs. I throw the toast out with the bacon and decide to make scrambled eggs instead. Whisking the eggs and milk together, I turn on the stove, letting the skillet heat and butter melt on it. When I turn, bowl in hand, ready to pour it into the skillet, it slips from my hand, spilling all over the floor. Anger and frustration wash over me; I guess I just shouldn’t eat this morning.

After cleaning the mess: doing the dishes that littered the sink and picking up the mess of eggs on the floor, I walk back up to my room. My head is pounding, and everything feels like it's crashing in on me. My heart is racing, and I just want to scream. My mind keeps flashing back to last night. We went out to Ritas, and it was supposed to be fun. But I just had to ruin things for myself. I barely ate. I stopped drinking early into the night. I wish I could have forgone the entire night. I wish Mor wasn’t so perfect. She has curves in all the right places and not a single flaw; I hate her for it, I think. Passing the floor-length mirror in my bedroom, I stop to look at myself. It’s been so long since I’ve looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. Why can't I have a body like Mor or Feyre or Amren?

I sit on the floor, just picking apart all the pieces of myself I hate. Thinking about all the insulting things people have said to me. Tears are streaming out of my eyes until I can’t even see my reflection. I’m clutching my chest as I struggle for air through my sobs. Why? Why? Why?

It’s an hour later, and I’m just lying on the floor of my bedroom, staring at the ceiling. I pushed my earlier hunger away, so I can’t feel it anymore. I wish I couldn’t feel any of it. The tears on my face have dried, and I’m breathing normally again when a small piece of folded paper falls next to me.

The Note reads: Meet me at my office at 11:30?

Azriel. I turn my head to look at the clock hanging on the wall. It’s nearly 11:20: a choked sob leaves my throat. Standing quickly, I rush to the bathroom to put myself together. In 10 minutes, my face is washed, and I’m wearing enough makeup to cover any signs of my tears. And I brushed through my hair and threw on some clothes. Rushing out the door, I head for the House of Wind. In the time it took to get to the door of his office, I’ve done breathing exercises to even out my breaths and slipped on a smile.

Knocking on the door to his office, I peeked my head in. “Hey,” I say, biting my lip.

He looked up to me, a grin spreading across his face and arms opening for me. I walked in, shutting the door behind me, and sat on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me, resting his head on my shoulder. He breathed in deeply, taking in the scent of me. “You smell wonderful, love,” he murmurs against my neck.

“Hmm,” I hum, holding him tight.

“Are you feeling alright?” He asks, pulling back slightly to look at me directly.

“Yeah,” An unconscious fake smile blooms across my face, “why wouldn’t I be?”

He just stares at me for a moment longer, eyebrows bunching, when he asks, “have you eaten today?”

“Yes. Breakfast this morning,” I say, “when I woke to an empty bed,” I try steering the question away from myself.

He knows I’m lying, “are you hungry? We could get lunch.”

“It was a big breakfast, Az,” I say, “I’m not hungry right now.”

He grips my waist and pulls me closer, wrapping his wings around us, “What’d you eat?”

“I made toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon,” It’s not entirely a lie, I think to myself.

He puts his forehead on my shoulder, resting it there for a long few moments, “baby,” he mumbles, “please don’t lie to me. We’ve been through this before: I can help, just talk to me.”

My lips start to quiver, I’ve upset him.

“I’m with you through all the good And the bad,” he says, head still down, “please tell me the truth about how you’re feeling,” he lifts his head to look at me, and the worrying features of his face make me sob again. “Hey, hey. It’s okay,” he consoles, wiping the tears from my face, “deep breaths.”

I take a deep breath in and out, and he does it with me. My tears start to slow, and the shuddering breaths even out. Az is running his hand up and down my spine, soothingly and when I’m ready, I explain everything, “I guess- things started getting bad yesterday. I didn’t really like the way I looked in that dress, and I just felt… off? Gross? I don’t know,” I take another breath in, “then Mor showed up, and she just looked so good in that dress; she’s so beautiful. And she ate and drank so much,” I’m ranting now, “Does she ever gain weight?!” I stop talking, trying to calm myself, and tears well up again, but I push them back. Looking back to Az, I start talking again, “I shouldn’t be jealous. I’m a horrible friend for being mad at her, but I just can’t stand her sometimes. I’m a horrible friend.”

I’m looking down between us now, but Az coaxes me back, “look at me,” he holds my face between his hands and pushes our foreheads together, “You are not a horrible friend. You are wonderful and kind. It’s okay to be jealous. You still love her, and you’re still a good friend. Now, tell me the rest.”

I shake my head holding back my tears, “It’s just the same thing. I just- it’s everything combined. I feel like I ate too much yesterday, and I haven’t worked out regularly this week. Then everything last night. So when I woke up this morning, everything was too much. Seeing myself in the mirror and thinking about how much I don’t deserve you. I’m not pretty enough. It’s all just so much. All at once,” my breaths come unevenly again, and tears are running down my face.

He doesn’t say anything for a long moment; his hands drop from my face and pull me into him. His hands run through my hair, and he just soothes me quietly for a few minutes. When he pulls back to look at me, he says quietly and calmly, “You’re beautiful, love. And I know me telling you that isn’t just gonna take all the bad thoughts and feelings away, but I need you to know: No matter what you see in the mirror or what your mind tells you, you are so beautiful. You have your ‘flaws,’ but that’s okay. You just have to learn to love them the way I do. And I’ll help you with that; I’m here to help.”

I nod, tears still streaming down my face, and lay my head on his shoulder, breathing him in and calming myself.

“Can we go eat food now,” he asks quietly. I nod letting myself feel the hunger I pushed aside and relaxed further into his arms. He lifts me with him as he stands and walks us to the kitchen.

#azriel fic #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel x reader #acotar fic #a court of thorns and roses #mental heath awareness #azzie

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nerdzzone · 3 years

Text

-More Hearts Than Mine-

Summary: Raising a child is hard. Raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars is even harder. And raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars who you’re not actually in a relationship with is even harder still.

Especially when a global pandemic is sweeping the world.

With lockdowns and stay at home orders looming on the horizon, the uncertainty of their situation becomes almost too much for Whitney Taylor to handle. Chris suggests that they quarantine together to avoid any potential separations but, given what happened the last time they spent more than a few brief moments in each other’s company, that could cause more problems than it solves…

Chris Evans x OFC

Sequel to: Once Bitten - Twice Shy

Note: I’ve decided to make this five parts instead of four. I was originally going to combine this part and the next one, but I feel like it flows better with a bit of separation between them!

Part One

____

Part Two

The rest of our first afternoon together was spent lazing around. Grayson was tired, but continued to refuse his nap so we kept things low key to avoid any exhausted toddler meltdowns. By the time the evening rolled around, I was tired from the stress of the day myself and since I still had to unpack, I went up to my bedroom shortly after we'd tucked Grayson into bed.

I slept a lot better than I thought I would given everything that was on my mind and when I woke up, I could already hear the sounds of breakfast echoing up from the kitchen. Taking a few minutes to let myself wake up properly, I checked my phone and scrolled through social media before getting up, stretching and heading downstairs.

"Good morning," I smiled, finding Chris and Grayson sitting at the island eating some scrambled eggs while Scott leaned against the counter with a cereal bowl in his hands.

"G'morning, Mama!"

Grayson's greeting was said through a mouthful of food and Chris reminded him that wasn't polite before greeting me himself.

"Help yourself to whatever you want," he insisted. "There's some eggs left in the pan or cereal, whatever you can find. Maybe Grayson will even share his apple slices with you if you ask nicely."

Grayson gasped at that suggestion and frantically shook his head.

"No, Daddy!" He protested. "I don't want to share!"

I laughed as he reached over his plate to move the little bowl of sliced fruit closer to his body where he could keep it guarded.

"Not even one slice?" I asked. "But I'm so hungry!"

"Over there!" Grayson giggled, pointing at the counter.

I turned around and saw a few more apples in a bowl, making me smile as I turned back to the boys.

"But they're not nicely sliced like yours," I pointed out. "How can I eat those?"

Grayson shrugged and plucked one of his apples out of his bowl. He looked smug, thinking he'd won, but he was so distracted while he took a bite that he didn't see Chris' hand sneak over until he'd snatched one of the slices and tossed it to me.

"Catch!"

I did as Chris instructed and Grayson's jaw dropped. An indignant huff fell from his lips as he looked between the two of us.

"That's not nice."

Chris laughed, but I bit back a smile and returned his apple.

"You're right, baby," I agreed, kissing the top of your head. "That was mean, but we were just tricking you. You don't have to share your apple."

"Thanks, Mama."

The frown on his face turned back into a grin and I scraped the rest of the eggs that were in the pan on the stove onto a plate before turning back to the boys once I’d pulled a fork from the drawer.

"So, how do you want to work it with things like groceries while I'm here?"

"Just tell me what you want and I'll order it," Chris told me. "They've started doing curbside pick up pretty much everywhere so I was thinking I'd just do that."

"Oh, that's handy, but I meant like money wise. Should I just transfer you my share or do you want to alternate who pays?"

Chris stared at me for a moment as if he was trying to figure out if I was joking before he chuckled.

"I'm not taking any money from you, Whitney."

His voice was firm, but I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"What? Why not? I can't let you pay for everything."

"You're not still working, are you?" Scott asked. "Or is it different since, as a photographer, you're so far away from whoever you're taking pictures of?"

"I'm not working," I admitted. "I think it would be doable if it was, like, family portraits or something like that, but the big photo shoots involve too many people. Everyone cancelled on me last week or delayed my contracts until at least the summer."

"So, don't worry about paying for anything then," Chris shrugged. "It's not like you're going to eat that much, I think I can handle the cost."

He was trying to do a nice thing. He was a very generous person with those that he cared about, but I wasn't going to take advantage of him.

"I have savings, Chris," I insisted. "I'm not completely helpless."

As if sensing a rising tension, Scott put his bowl in the sink and grabbed his coffee mug before turning to Grayson.

"Hey, Gray, let's go see what cartoons we can find."

Grayson nodded eagerly and Chris helped him down from the tall stool so he could follow Scott out of the room, taking his little bowl of apples with him.

"I wasn't trying to imply that you're helpless," Chris assured me once they were out of earshot. "But you're tiny, I don't think that buying you a few groceries for the next couple of months will financially cripple me."

I tried to temper my defensiveness before I answered him, reminding myself again that he was trying to be helpful.

"I know that, but I don't feel comfortable living here for that long without contributing," I told him. "You already give me more than you need to every month for Grayson."

It was true. Since our custody agreement was that Grayson spent fifty percent of his time with each of us, he wasn't required to pay me any child support. But he did anyway. It was something we’d argued about on and off over the years because the amount that he gave me was way over the top. I appreciated his generosity and I did use all the money to buy things for Gray, but most of it ended up in a bank account that I'd opened for him because there was no way to spend it all in one month without Grayson becoming the most spoiled child in all of Massachusetts.

"I like to make sure he's taken care of."

"Which I am capable of doing with my own money when he's in my care," I reminded him. "But I don't want to start that whole conversation again. I just want to feel like I'm doing my part while I stay with you."

"And I appreciate that gesture, but it won't be necessary," Chris insisted. "You can clean, you can cook, do anything like that to help out, but I won't accept any money, especially while you're not working."

I sighed as he stood up to put his plate in the dishwasher while I put mine on the counter, too distracted by our conversation to eat. I knew it would be a struggle to get him to agree to take money from me, but I wasn't ready to back down so I thought of a compromise and hoped he would accept.

"How about we drop it for now," I suggested. "But if this thing goes on for more than a couple of weeks, can we talk about it again?"

Chris paused and crossed his arms. I could tell that he wanted to argue, but I was relieved when he agreed.

"Alright," he nodded, hesitating for a moment before adding a stipulation to the deal. "But we're going to talk about your car too before you leave here."

"My car? What about my car?"

"Grayson told me that it's not working properly," Chris admitted. "He said it sounds angry sometimes and that you haven't gotten it checked out yet."

I rolled my eyes, guessing that was one of those 'secrets' that he mentioned.

"It's fine," I assured him. "It made a weird sound one time last week when I tried to start it, but it's still working. I was going to take it in, but then all this virus stuff happened and I didn't have chance."

"You need a new one," Chris informed me. "That one is getting old anyway. I'll take you car shopping when things reopen."

I laughed at the absurdity of that statement, but I could see the annoyance on his face at my reaction.

"You're not buying me a car, Chris. The one I have is perfectly fine and if it's not then I will take myself car shopping, thank you very much."

"Why do you get so defensive when I try to help you?" He asked, his eyes shifting into a glare. "I'm not going to accidentally think that you're in love with me just because you accept a nice gesture from me. I can take a hint, Whitney, I get it."

My jaw dropped and I couldn't hold back a disgruntled scoff at his insane change of topic.

"What are you even talking about? This has nothing to do with that," I argued. "I wouldn’t have accepted your invitation if I knew you were going to hold that over me and throw it in my face all the time."

“All the time? This is the first time I’ve mentioned it!”

“Yes, but I’ve not even been here for twenty-fours hours and you’ve already brought it up!”

Perhaps it was my harsh, snappy tone that did it or my very valid criticism of his low blow, but Chris' body language softened.

"I just don't get why you get so worked up when I'm trying to help you..."

"Because I don't need help, Chris," I explained. "I might not be Captain America rich, but I do just fine and I can take care of myself. I can buy my own groceries and if I really needed to, I could buy myself a new car. You throwing money at me for things like that makes me feel like you don't value the success I've had in my career or my ability to manage my finances which is, quite frankly, offensive."

Chris dropped his arms so they were no longer crossed and his shoulders relaxed. Clearly, he'd been getting quite defensive as well and had realized it, whether he would admit it or not. I held my head high, proud of myself for explaining my feelings so well and taking him down a notch, but that feeling disappeared as soon as Chris spoke.

"If you were the richest woman in the world, I would still want to buy you a car," Chris started, looking more nervous than the dismissive, self-assured attitude I was getting moments ago. "I'd still want to buy you anything you could ever need because making you happy makes me happy."

My face fell at his confession and my heart clenched again, knowing what the underlying sentiment behind his statement was. It stung more than any hurtful words could have as the sincerity, the genuine care and appreciation, in his voice was heartbreaking. I regretted not adding a condition to our cohabitation that specified he wasn't allowed to say such nice, guilt inducing things as I stared at him for a moment, trying to think of a way to get out of this conversation that was more polite than just bolting out the door.

Too much time was passing as his words hung between us so, short of any good comeback to his words, I shrugged.

"If you want to make me happy, let me contribute for the groceries."

It was Chris' turn to look shocked now, as he was obviously expecting a more thoughtful response to his rather vulnerable admission, but he pulled himself together quickly and a dry laugh fell from his lips.

"Nice try, Whitney," he smiled, shaking his head. "But that's not going to happen."

Without giving me any more time to argue, he turned on his heels and walked out the door leaving me alone to wallow in my guilt and wonder how much longer I'd be able to keep up my act of nonchalance.

There was a weird sense of restlessness in the house that day. Usually, killing a few days at home would be no big deal but, as soon as the stay at home orders came into place that morning, the knowledge that we were now unable to do anything else made it feel slightly more suffocating.

Chris wasn't lying though when he said that he planned to make this lockdown as enjoyable as possible so we managed to keep ourselves entertained as we planned out some of the things we could do. Chris and Scott were compiling a list of old movies they wanted to watch again, I ordered a bunch of puzzles and books (some more child appropriate and some for the adults), Chris dug out an old wiffle ball set he had from when they were kids and Scott organized Chris' video game collection, pulling out all the good ones like their favourite: Mario Kart.

By the end of the day, we were all feeling much more optimistic about how our time at home would go. Especially Grayson. It was finally starting to sink in for him that he got to spend the foreseeable future surrounded by all his favourite people - something that was unfortunately a rarity for him given our situation. He was bouncing off the walls as he threw his ideas into the mix and couldn't wait to get started on all the fun.

The excitement of the day led to another early night for him and I excused myself shortly after, declining the invitation to start practicing my Mario Kart skills.

After our conversation that morning, I was trying to keep a bit of distance from Chris. I wasn't mad and it didn't seem like he had any lasting feelings of annoyance either, but our earlier discussion proved to me that there was still tension and resentment between us. I wanted to let it settle and give him some space so our small disagreement didn't turn into a full-blown argument. Living together after everything we'd been through would be an adjustment period and easing into it would probably be the safest route.

So, I took myself off to my bedroom and lounged in bed watching some new mystery show on Netflix. I started it thinking it would just be a good way to pass a few hours until a reasonable time to go to bed but as usual with Netflix, I got sucked in and before I knew it, it was almost midnight.

I closed my laptop, knowing I needed to get some sleep as Grayson was an early riser, but I noticed the glass of water I'd taken upstairs with me hours ago was empty and my mouth was dry. With a sigh, I dragged myself out of bed, taking the glass to the kitchen to fill it up.

I crept down the stairs, assuming everyone would be in bed already, but I was surprised when I got to the kitchen to see the light on. I poked my head into the room and saw Scott sitting at the little island in the middle of the room, a drink in his hand and a melancholy look on his face.

"Hey," I greeted him, alerting him to my presence. "You're up late..."

"I was just FaceTiming with my boyfriend. He's in LA so it worked with the time difference."

"Boyfriend?" I questioned as I headed over to the sink to fill up my glass. "I didn't know you had a boyfriend."

"It's pretty new," he sighed. "We've only been together about a month now."

"That's so exciting! You didn't want to stay in LA and quarantine with him?"

"No, we thought it was too fresh for us to, like, fully move in together and if I was in LA and not living with him then we wouldn't see each other anyway, so I decided I may as well come here."

"That's really hard," I frowned as I pulled out the chair next to him and sat down. "I'm sorry that you had to make a decision like that."

"It's alright," he shrugged despite the sad look on his face. "A lot of people have had to make much tougher decisions than that lately."

"That doesn't mean you can't be upset anyway."

"I know, but I'll be alright. I'm just glad we've got so many ways to stay in touch." He flashed me a smile and I was glad to see it. Scott was a good guy and one of those people who was usually so positive and upbeat that it was hard to see him feeling down. "What about you? How are you doing with everything?"

"Oh, I don't know," I sighed. "Do you mean the deadly virus plaguing the world? Or the fact that I'm in lockdown with the father of my child who I have a fairly complicated history with?"

"Both," Scott chuckled as he sipped his drink of what looked to be whiskey. "But I was more referring to being here in lockdown with Chris."

"It's hard, but I'm doing okay. It's just a weird situation."

"It'll definitely take some time to get used to for both of you," he nodded. "He felt really bad this morning. He told me what you said about how offensive it is when he throws money at you all the time and I totally agree, but I hope you know his heart was in the right place. He tells everyone how talented you are, he would never want to belittle your career."

"I know," I winced. "I overreacted a little bit."

"No, not at all!" Scott assured me. "He needed to hear it. I've been on the receiving end of it too so I know how you felt, but he doesn't realize how it comes off some times. He's just trying to be generous and help the people he loves."

I nodded and I knew that I should just end the conversation there. Tell him that I understood what Chris' intent was and leave it at that. But my heart overpowered my brain and I found myself opening up before I could stop myself.

"I just don't exactly deserve to be on that list," I reminded him. "And I shouldn't take advantage of any feelings he might have for me after the decision that I made."

"You really do deserve to be on that list," he told me with a smile. "He's really in love with you."

"Love might be a bit extreme," I scoffed. "He's made his feelings clear, I know he cares about me, but it's not love."

"He's not made his feelings clear enough then," Scott countered. "Because he's been head over heels in love with you since pretty much the moment he met you."

My mouth went dry as my brain fought to comprehend that claim while all my instincts were telling me that it wasn't true. Scott wouldn't lie to me, he wasn't that kind of person, but he could be exaggerating especially since he had been drinking. There was an honesty in his eyes though, a look that told me he was telling the truth, but I couldn't accept it, it just didn't make sense.

"That's not true," I argued. "He only ever saw me as a friend until that one night and that night was a mistake."

But Scott was confident in what he'd shared and he shook his head.

"He never saw you as just a friend. You were his endgame from day one."

Perhaps it was a delaying tactic, perhaps it was a nervous response or I was subconsciously trying to buy myself some time to make sense of what he was trying to tell me, but a giggle slipped out at Scott's choice of words.

"Endgame? Is that an Avengers joke?"

"It wasn't intentional," he assured me with a laugh, but he was quick to get us back on topic. "But I mean it. We had a conversation just a few weeks after you met and he was talking about you like you hung the moon. He's been enamoured from the start."

I couldn't wrap my head around it. He was speaking with such confidence, but the words he was saying might as well have been another language. Knowing what I knew about our situation, how things had unfolded between us, how that first night together went down and the aftermath of it, there was no sign that Chris had been in love with me. He cared about me, that much I knew, but to be in love? That didn't add up.

Especially when I'd had those feelings all along as well. Surely, I would have noticed had they been reciprocated.

I'd fallen silent as my brain buzzed, scrambling for any gesture or obvious evidence that I'd missed that might prove Scott's claim, but when he spoke again, I was pulled from my thoughts.

"Do you not feel the same way about him?" He asked. "And there's no judgment here, I can see both sides. I love Chris and I want him to be happy, but I respect what you're trying to do."

I felt my heart rate spike again as my palms grew sweaty in a way that was becoming annoyingly familiar.

I was aware of the importance of this conversation, but I was also aware that I wasn't having it with the right person. If Scott was being honest then Chris must have had his reasons for not sharing the depth of his feelings with me and it felt sneaky and deceitful that I was finding out from someone else. It also felt wrong that the answer to Scott's question was on the tip of my tongue. Chris deserved to know before his brother, but I was tired. Fighting through this mess all by myself was wearing me down and Scott had always been one of those people that compelled you to pour your heart out to him. He was a better listener than most and I needed someone, anyone, to give me some kind of guidance. So the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"I do feel the same," I admitted, my eyes firmly locked on the glass of water on the table in front of me as I worried I'd be too anxious to speak if I looked Scott in the eye. "I love him very much."

"Then why are you so scared to give him a chance?" He questioned. "Just because of Grayson?"

I nodded, but even I was starting to doubt my own motivations.

"We work together so well right now, but if we give it a shot and someone ends up getting hurt then we might not be able to put our feelings aside and keep things peaceful."

"But aren't you hurting each other every day that you spend in love with each other, but not together?" He pointed out. "Yet, you manage to put Grayson first through all that pain."

His words hit me like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over my head.

It was an excellent point.

We were both hurting from being apart, it was clear from how defensive we got over silly little things like we had that morning. I could only imagine how Chris felt, but it was hard for me to be around him all the time and just keep things friendly when in my heart I wanted more. I ached at the sight of him every time I dropped Grayson off or picked him up, but we still managed to be friendly and polite through that.

"How many of those drinks have you had?” I teased earning a laugh from Scott. “They’ve made you too wise.”

"Not enough," he joked. "But it's true, isn't it?"

"It is true, but it's different," I insisted. "If we were together and broke up, that kind of hurt can come with a lot of anger. Right now, we might be sad or disappointed about the situation, but there's no anger."

"Oh, there was anger," Scott informed me, grimacing slightly. "After Christmas, when he came back from dropping Grayson off at your house there was definitely anger. He slammed doors, stormed around the house, got drunk off his ass and ranted about it for hours. I've never seen him that upset over being turned down before."

My heart sank at that news. I knew that he'd been upset, but I didn't think he'd taken it that badly. I thought he was just a bit sulky, but now my guilt intensified.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, my voice thick with emotion. "I feel bad enough as it is..."

"Oh, honey, I'm not trying to make you feel bad," Scott assured me, reaching over to rub my back as I forced back the tears that had sprung to my eyes. "But it proves that even if one of you ends up heartbroken, you can still put Grayson first because you just did it."

"I didn't, Chris did," I pointed out after clearing my throat. "If it wasn't up to me, if Chris came to his senses and ditched me for some beautiful actress, then I'm not sure that I could be so forgiving."

"Why would he ditch you?"

As promised, there was no judgment in Scott's voice, just genuine curiosity and I shrugged as I answered.

"Because he could have any woman in America."

"Maybe not any woman, let's not get carried away," Scott smirked, his teasing tone making me smile. "But for such a relationship loving guy, don't you think it's interesting that he hasn't been in a serious relationship in about five years?"

That wasn't something I'd put much thought into, but it wasn't the 'gotcha' moment that it seemed like Scott had hoped it was.

"Not really. He's been busy with work the last few years," I pointed out. "And having a baby with me must have complicated his personal life a bit."

"You complicated his personal life the moment he met you," Scott insisted. "That's my point."

He sounded so sure of himself, but the words he was saying were still hard for me to comprehend. I'd always been so confident in my understanding of our relationship and if I was to believe him, it would shatter everything I thought I knew.

"I just don't see why he wouldn't have mentioned this by now..."

"You know how he gets with his anxiety. He's not always the over confident hotshot that people assume he is," Scott reminded me. "But you'll have to talk to him if you want more information than that."

I let out a sigh as I knew he was right.

"There's a lot that we need to talk about," I admitted. "Thank you for this though, Scott, you've given me a lot to think about."

"Anytime," he smiled. "And I completely respect that you're willing to put Grayson first despite whatever feelings you have. You're a wonderful mom and I would be proud to call you my sister-in-law."

I laughed at his outrageous leap from even considering a relationship straight to marriage and shook my head.

"You need to go to bed, Scott," I instructed. "You've clearly had too much to drink tonight."

"I probably have," he agreed. "But I meant everything that I've said. Think about it, okay?"

I nodded as I slid off the stool I was sitting on, wrapping my arms around him in a quick hug.

"I'm here for you too, you know that right?" I asked as I stepped back. "If you ever want to talk about your situation or vent and complain about the distance, whatever you need, I'm here."

"Thanks, Whitney," he smiled before dragging himself off his stool as well. "Goodnight."

I returned his smile and mumbled a 'goodnight' of my own before heading back to bed with all the new information that Scott had provided echoing around in my head. While it had been a very informative conversation, I wasn't quite sure whether I came away from it with the clarity I was looking for or just more confusion.

Part Three

Tags: @maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @zaylaugh @flowery-mess @flowerjewels @njrronaldo7 @hockeychick10

#chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fic #chris evans fanfic #more hearts than mine

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crazy4dragons · 3 years

Text

Motherhood

HTTYD Creative Week 2021

Day 2: Questions

While Hiccup is away, Astrid begins to question whether she’s a good mother. Rating: G.

“Why?”

Astrid rolled her eyes as Zephyr questioned her instructions for the third time in a row. “Because you can’t leave your dirty dishes on the table.”

“But why?”

“For the love of Thor, Zephyr, just put your dishes in the sink!” snapped Astrid, lifting a fussy Nuffink out of his high chair and grabbing his favorite blanket.

Shrugging, the little girl climbed down from her seat and placed her bowl and spoon on the counter.

“That’s not the sink,” Astrid reprimanded as she turned to walk out of the kitchen.

“Why do I need to put them in the sink, Mama? They’re okay right here.’

Biting back a curse, the blonde carried Nuffink to her bedroom and placed him in his crib. “There you go,

little one. Enjoy your nap.” She bent down to press a kiss against his forehead. “I love you.”

Whimpering, the toddler reached out a hand towards his mother.

“Fine,” sighed Astrid, picking up Nuffink and settling him against her chest as she climbed onto her mattress.

Having Hiccup away at tribe meetings had always been rough for her, but having him away while she had two children under five to care for, one of whom wouldn’t stop asking questions about everything, made his trips even harder.

“Mama, where are you?” Zephyr’s small voice drifted up the stairs.

Cautiously sliding off the bed, taking care not to disturb Nuffink, Astrid shuffled into the hall. “I’m sitting with your brother,” she explained in a hushed voice.

“Well, I’m bored. I want you to play dragons with me.”

“I can’t, Zeph,” sighed Astrid, rubbing Nuffink’s back as he stirred.

The little girl crossed her arms over her chest. “Daddy always plays dragons with me when I ask,” she insisted. “Why can’t you?”

Astrid struggled to suppress her emotions. She’d always had a feeling that Hiccup was Zephyr’s favorite, but hearing her daughter actually compare her to him hurt, even if she was only four years old.

“Why?” repeated Zephyr.

“Mama’s busy,” the blonde explained, keeping her voice steady. “Maybe I can play in a little while, after Nuffink wakes up.”

Frowning, Zephyr plopped onto the couch and folded her arms over her chest.

As Astrid walked back into her room, a wave of guilt washed over her. She was perfectly okay with the kids when they were babies; that was the easy phase. All she had to do was feed them, cuddle them, and change their diapers. But with Zephyr, she almost felt as if she didn’t know how to be a good mother anymore, now that there was more to it than nursing and snuggling.

“At least you’re still easy,” she murmured to Nuffink, who was still comfortably resting on her chest.

…

Two days later, Hiccup arrived home, weary from his journey, but happy to be reunited with his family. While he liked getting a chance to catch up with old friends like Dagur and Alvin, Astrid and the kids were the most important people in his life, and he felt a sense of emptiness when they were apart.

“How was everything while I was away?” he asked, kissing Astrid’s lips before lifting both Zephyr and Nuffink into his arms.

“Mama didn’t play dragons with me!” Zephyr complained, wrapping her arms around Hiccup’s neck.

Astrid sighed. “It was…okay,” she answered, pretending to ignore her daughter’s comment.

“That okay didn’t sound very convincing,” Hiccup began as he walked upstairs with his wife, each of them lugging one of his travel bags.

“Am I a bad mother?”

“What?” Eyes widening, the Chief raised an eyebrow. “Why would you be a bad mother?”

Pushing her hair out of her face, Astrid sank onto the bed. “I just…you’re so good with the kids…and sensitive…and patient…especially with Zephyr, and I can hardly balance spending enough time with both of them and running the island when you’re not here.”

Hiccup eased himself down beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Hey, just because parenting is a little harder for you, doesn’t mean you’re not good at it.”

The blonde didn’t reply.

“Look at my mom. I don’t know if she ever told you, but she had a hard time with me when I was a baby. That’s why she didn’t bring me with her when she left; she was afraid she wouldn’t be a good enough mother to parent me by herself. But I’m close to her now, and she certainly hasn’t been doing a bad job since she came back.”

“I don’t know,” Astrid shrugged. “I just feel like I’m failing. I mean, Zephyr clearly hates me already and she’s only four.”

“She doesn’t hate you,” smiled Hiccup. “She might act like a spoiled Daddy’s girl sometimes, but she doesn’t hate you.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious,” he insisted, pressing a kiss against her cheek. “Zeph loves you. Both the kids do. And you’re an amazing mom.”

Astrid rested her head against his shoulder. “But if there was a contest, you’d still win parent of the year.”

“Don’t say that. We’d both win.” Hiccup grinned. “And I’ll talk to Zephyr about how she’s been treating you. Maybe she just needs a little nudge in the right direction.”

…

The next morning, Astrid awoke to the smell of her favorite breakfast — scrambled eggs with cheese and fried potatoes. Climbing out of bed, she put on a cozy robe and shuffled downstairs to see Hiccup standing in the kitchen with Zephyr.

“Is today a special occasion or something?” the blonde asked, her eyes narrowing.

“Today is Mama Appreciation Day,” announced Hiccup.

“And I made you a drawing!” Zephyr chimed in, running to her room. A moment later, she returned with a sheet of paper, which she proudly handed to Astrid.

Astrid studied the drawing. Although it was largely composed of scribbles and stick figures, she could still make out the image of herself hugging a smiling Zephyr. “Good job, sweetie!” she complimented.

“Turn it around!” the little girl shouted. “Daddy helped me write you a note!”

Flipping the page to the other side, Astrid read:

You are the best Mama in the archipelago. I love you.

Zephyr

“Babe,” Astrid began cautiously, turning towards her husband. “Did she come up with this, or did you?”

Hiccup paused. “I uh…I’d rather not answer that, milady. I —”

“You are the best Mama!” Zephyr interrupted, flinging her little arms around Astrid’s waist. “I don’t want to have any other Mama but you.”

The blonde felt her heart melt as she lifted Zephyr up and settled her on her hip. “And I don’t want to have any other daughter but you,” she smiled. “I’d also love to play dragons with you after breakfast.”

Zephyr grew thoughtful. “Actually, I want to go axe-throwing.”

Astrid’s eyes widened as she cast Hiccup a puzzled glance.

The Chief shrugged. “She is your child.”

“Yes, she is,” Astrid said, hugging Zephyr close. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

#fanfic #momstrid #httyd #my writing #httydcweek2021 #daytwoquestions #haddock family #hiccstrid babies

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muji-boy · 2 years

Text

a day in eating disorder inpatient treatment

tw food mention, ed recovery, hospital

my original plan for the summer semester was to take a course, leaving me with only one more semester of my degree. however, that plan had to be put on hold because i chose to further my recovery from my eating disorder and participate in the symptom interruption phase of inpatient treatment. while shorter than the full program, i still participated in all of the groups and meal supports for three weeks. i thought i would write a blog about a typical day in treatment in case anyone was curious, and to break down the stigma surrounding eating disorder treatment. note, i do mention what i would typically have for meals and snacks which is a totally personal thing! everyone is different. i was there only on weight maintenance, so my experience is much different than somebody on a weight restoration plan. please don’t continue if that is something that would trigger you.

my typical day started with being woken up to get weighed at around 7 am. then it was back to bed until 8 when bloodwork would wake me up a second time. after they finished i would get up, make my bed, and get dressed for the day. most people wore sweat pants and slippers but i tried to keep myself in a routine and would wear comfortable jeans and sneakers, the same as i would outside. my room, which just happened to be the biggest out of them all, was a private room with a bed, night table, desk, chair, bathroom, and sink. on my wall there were two posters, non negotiable rules and a dbt skills poster. i also had a whiteboard where i wrote an inspirational quote. i stuck pictures that meant a lot to me on the wall over my bed with sticky tack. i’d brush my teeth and by then the nurse would come in with my morning medication. then it was off to the group room to wait for breakfast. the group room consisted of a table with chairs and three couches we could sit or lie down on and watch tv or just hang out. at around 8:30 a staff member would come collect us from the group room and we’d make the long walk of shame down the hallway to the kitchen. breakfast would be laid out, ready for you. my best friend made the placemats during a previous admission we had together. they all have an inspiring quote on them.

for me, breakfast often consisted of coffee that tasted like bog water, scrambled eggs, a muffin with butter, plain oatmeal with brown sugar, and a banana. the room had a google home mini so we’d listen to music while we ate. we got 30 minutes to finish everything in front of us, 100% completion was a non negotiable rule. after we finished we went around the room sharing our check out of how the meal went, one thing we liked about the meal, and what our plans were afterwards. then we would be escorted back to the group room for our first group of the day. i’m going based on thursday, which means we had family relations first. we would talk about our relationship with family and friends and how the eating disorder influenced them. it was really cathartic, although it was common to be uncomfortable when the social worker asked for your participation.

after group we would go back to our rooms and wait for the doctor. she would sometimes pop in and go over your bloodwork with you and see if you needed anything. then the nurse would come in and let you know it’s time to lie down for vitals. you laid there for five minutes. some people would look at their phone during this time and play wordle, but i always stared and the ceiling and did square breathing. it felt like a good time for mindfulness. the nurse came in with the blood pressure machine and took it lying, then standing after two minutes. she also took my temperature and asked me some questions about mood and bowel movements. that’s one thing i don’t miss.

next we had morning snack at 10:30. we would reconvene in the group room and wait for the staff member to come collect us. although it is something i struggle with, i personally enjoyed this one the most. i even inspired some staff members to try peanut butter on their apples because that’s what i always had. while eating together as a group was a norm, part of the program is increasing independence. so i did a lot of morning snacks with just me and the staff member because of where the other patients were in their program. after we finished snack, which we had 15 minutes to complete, we played a game for 15 minutes. i usually chose skip bo.

after snack we would have another group such as dbt. if you’re not familiar with dbt, it stands for dialectical behaviour therapy. it’s a really helpful therapy that explores emotions, mindfulness, distress tolerance, and the connection between events and behaviours. for this group we were often assigned homework pages in a workbook to complete by the next session.

then another staff member would come get us for lunch at 12:30. everyone always ate lunch together no matter where they were in the program. a typical lunch would be an egg salad sandwich, salad with dressing, canned peaches, and water. again, we would have 30 minutes to complete it. then we would play a game for 30 minutes. the group of patients i was in with liked playing bananagrams. i had never liked the game before this admission.

from 1:30 pm to 2:30 pm we would have free time. this was also the time a staff member would open up the doors to the “patio” so we would hang out there. really, it was just some fenced in grass with a flower box and a couple of old lawn chairs on a concrete slab. but the fresh air was vital for our sanity. we would also mingle with the general psychiatry patients out there (as this program was separate, but still took place on a general psychiatry ward). then, another snack. my favourite was raisins and cheese. this snack was usually done by the nurse. again, 15 minutes to eat and 15 minutes to play a game afterwards.

on thursdays we had weight review at 3 pm. the dietician would come find us and we’d go sit in private to discuss our weights and whether there needed to be changes made to our meal plan. for patients in weight restoration this was absolutely the most stressful and triggering part of the week. you also had the option of not knowing your weight but you would still have an idea of what was happening from the status of your meal plan. after our meeting we were free to do whatever until supper.

supper was supposed to be at 5pm but it was always more like 5:30 because the kitchen was always late. we’d be waiting in the group room, doing a puzzle to pass the time, a typical supper would consist of something like fish, mashed potato, vegetables, and cranberry juice. again, 30 minutes to eat and 30 to play a game. usually supper was supervised by a pca (personal care assistant). after supper we would have more free time, which was usually when we’d get visitors. when my mom was in town she visited, otherwise i hung out in the group room and watched movies while painting or studying for the mcat. night snack was at 9pm, and the pca would supervise that one as well. i loved ending off my day with something like cereal and soy milk. in the past you had to have a special reason to have soy milk, but now it’s more accepted as an alternative. i genuinely like the taste of soy better.

after that i would get a shower and read a book until my night nurse came in with my bedtime medication. then i’d go to sleep and do it all again the next day.

i am so thankful i had the opportunity to participate in this program. at first i felt like i wasn’t sick enough to be there, but then i realized that there was no “sick enough” and i deserved to be there. i gained a lot of insight and got back on my feet, which is what i needed. now i have the energy to focus on studying for the mcat! i hope writing about this experience takes away some of the stigma.

#personal #textpost #recovery

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unholyhelbig · 3 years

Note

Triple Treble High school AU??

Read on AO3 | Request prompts here

The darkroom wasn’t originally in the blueprints for the high school. It was a small space that was wedged between the back stairwell, something that still smelled so thickly of drain cleaner, and sawdust, that the developer only added a twinge of vinegar to the mix.

Beca had pestered and persisted until the school board agreed to convert the unused storage area into a place for the yearbook committee to soak and hang their film. It could fit about four people at a time and left her blinking away the red light when the bell rang, load and enough to vibrate the whole room.

She leaned against the table that woodshop had constructed, mindful of the surface that could splinter at any moment. She was putting the finishing touches on her book report for Mr. White’s third-period English. She was cutting it close, but the photos from the pep rally the day before still had a good three minutes left of the egg timer.

She twisted the dial and listened to the satisfying click that accompanied it.

Beca had learned a long time ago that it was better to be unseen than seen by the whole world. There were no standards that way, if this batch of photos didn't turn out, or darken fully, that would be okay- because it wasn’t like they had noticed her, other than the small flashes of light, or the click of her Nikon.

She scribbled the finishing touches on her interesting take of “To Kill a Mockingbird” and shoved the crinkled lined paper into her backpack. She hadn’t put much thought into it- having read the novel more than once and never finding it as moving as it was intended to be.

The timer sounded off and her heart caught in her throat. It always did, even though she was the one that set it. She knew it was going to hiss eventually, and her hands moved before her mind could catch up. She peered over the edge of the basin at the photo that developed fully.

Chloe Beale beamed charismatically, her arm around Kaylee Eli, brow glistening with sweat. The logo of the cowboy shining under the lights. Beca was a damn good shot, but Chloe was an even better model. She stared right into the lens like she actually saw Beca- she noticed and posed and smiled with the same type of vigor as always.

The second warning bell sounded off and Beca fished the photo from the solution with her tongs. She shook it once, then twice, before clipping it on the line. She shouldered her bag and then emerged into the hallway, breathing in to clear out the sharp acidic scent from her lungs.

She nearly collided with a warm body, also trying their hardest to get through the hallways and into homeroom in time for the third and final bell to sound. Her sneakers squeaked against the floor, and her shoulder did make contact with something soft, and hot, and she stumbled with an apology before even realizing who it was.

Posters, and buttons scattered across the floor with a deafening clatter, and a pile of books were soon to follow. They were obnoxiously red, white, and blue. And Beca was on her knees, very suddenly, scrambling to pile them into a stack that they had once been.

“I’m so sorry,” She said, her own backpack forgotten.

“Were you in a supply closet?”

Beca glanced up, meeting hard and ripe green. The girl in front of her was a mass of blonde hair and lip gloss. She shoved her bangs back and gave Beca an inquisitive look. The posters were stacked now, and the two raised to a standing position.

“No, I mean, yes.” Beca frowned “It’s not a supply closet anymore, though. It’s a dark room. For photography.”

The girl studied her. She looked vaguely familiar. Those posters did too- Aubrey Posen for Student President. She realized she was still gripping them, reading them. She flushed and handed them over.

“I’m afraid I’ve made you miss the final bell.” She said.

“Don’t worry about it. Have a fantastic day.” Beca replied, even if she didn’t’ mean it. She grabbed her bag from the floor and maneuvered her way around the girl and walked off towards her first class- one that she wouldn't be paying much attention to.

Aubrey glared down at her posters. The word Fantastic was outlined in blue and slanted in a way that screamed desperately. She swallowed back the suddenly queasy feeling in her stomach and pulled her shoulders back. It didn’t’ matter if the candy-cane stripes and the blue lettering were tacky. It would win her the vote.

She felt disheveled, the pink late slip in her pocket burned like dry ice. She hated breaking the rules, and even this, even having the permission to skip the first half of the morning to work on her campaign, made her feel like some kind of common criminal.

Aubrey walked all the way to the gym.

She was meant to set up the ballot tables for the three lunch periods. She hadn’t thought that many people would skip out on the greasy scent of fried chicken and the brothy greens that were slopped next to them to vote for student council. Not many people cared about the election, and sometimes Aubrey questioned her own dedication to the cause of no cause at all.

The gym always smelled thickly of sweat and floor wax. It’s bright lights seemed to be the only thing in the school that ran on an automatic timer. The last moments of morning cheer practice had just concluded, and Aubrey waited dutifully by the double doors for the girls to clear out.

Most of them- she knew cordially. She was nod at them and say hello, and even give them a button to strap to their bags. So they smiled kindly as they exited past her, and wished her luck on today's vote. She figured she needed it.

“Are you nervous?”

“Huh?” Aubrey had started to study the sound system in the corner, but her focus was suddenly on the one remaining cheerleader in the gym. Her voice echoed, and her smile radiated. “Oh, uh, no my opposing candidate is a gerbil so.”

“he’s got a solid campaign.” She replied, walking across the seal in the center of the floor. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re going to do great. You’ve got my vote.”

Aubrey hadn’t been this close to Chloe Beale. Not in school- they usually avoided one another after Bumper’s Halloween party, two semesters ago. She didn’t remember, much- the fowl taste of beer, the flashing lights, a kid in a skeleton mask, and Chloe Beale’s lips on hers. Cherry, and tart with alcohol.

Her cheeks reddened at the thought, all-encompassing. “Right, I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to tell me that.”

“Oh?”

Chloe took a few steps backward before turning completely and walking towards the double doors. Aubrey struggled to avert her eyes, knew that she had to, but couldn’t find a way to do it. Chloe could feel them on her- swinging her hips intentionally.

She found herself letting out a trembled breath once she exited into the hallway. Her arms were burning, and so were her cheeks. Aubrey M. Posen had always been intimidating; in her fancy blazers and thick reading glasses. Her lips tingled, and she pressed two fingers against them to quell the sensation. The girl probably didn't even remember her on Halloween night, that stupid skeleton kid, drenched in fake blood, and the flashing lights that spurred her drunken stupor.

Chloe pressed her back against the painted brick wall and let the coolness drip through her sweaty t-shirt. She hadn’t slept well the night before, and practice before the day had even begun made her bones ache and her stomach turn.

She was going to be late for class, she knew that before they had even finished listening to coach Morris reminding them (for the third time that morning) about the pep rally on Friday. She peeled herself from the wall, blinking away the light from the trophy cases, before slinking into the locker room. It was empty now, the remaining scent of body spray and lotion clouding her lungs.

Chloe quickly changed and pulled her bag over her shoulder. She didn’t’ have a pink slip, not as she should, but figured that Mrs. Gordon would excuse her this once. She would slide into first-period Chemistry and try her best not to disturb the room more than she had to.

“Miss Beale,” She felt her heart seize, Mrs. Gordon’s eyes on her, lifting from the workbook that she was struggling to flip through. The rest of the room had taken to staring at her too, roaming eyes and giddy for a distraction, no matter how small. “Take the nearest seat.”

It would certainly be easier than working her way around the room, through the bags and the lab stools. She glanced sparingly at the empty seat closest to her. Beca Mitchell lifted both of her eyebrows and shifted the camera bag to the floor, allowing her to take a seat.

“Flip to page seventeen, The building of Electron’s and Neutrons”

Chloe reached for her bag, but before she could Beca shifted the textbook towards the middle of them, letting her scan her eyes over the annotated version of the paragraphs. She had never expected Beca Mitchell, resident outcast and photographer, to go through the nightly reading and actually absorb it.

She smelled thickly of cloves and chemicals. It was earthy but comforting. It almost relaxed Chloe from the morning, brought her down to a familiar buzz after sharing a conversation with Aubrey in the gym. She blinked through her lack of focus and tried to concentrate on something other than how close the alt girl was, and how their knees almost met under the lab table.

Beca reached up and turned the page, Chloe realized she hadn’t read a single line.

#Beca Mitchell #Chloe Beale #Aubrey Posen #Pitch Perfect #Pitch Perfect Fanfiction #triple treble #Triple Treble Franfiction #Request

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sakiyo · 4 years

Text

COOKING WITH THEM

[HEADCANONS]

how would late night/early morning cooking would go with atsumu, osamu, sakusa and suna

contains: food, mention of w33d <33, dirty jokes

genre: fluff

OSAMU MIYA

this man never passes up the opportunity to cook with you

he totally got you guys matching aprons for this moment

anyways, he’s basically a cooking GOD so cooking with him goes relatively smooth

relatively because you and osamu make your own secret recipes and have a makeshift recipe book

so you’re always trying new things and it’s basically either a hit or miss

hit being that it’s the best thing ever to come out of the oven/pan/pot

or it’s a complete mess and tastes like last weeks gradually rotting leftovers

“i think there’s an eggshell in this..”

“i knew we screwed up somewhere.”

“too much spice!”

sometimes when neither of you can sleep, you both start cooking a light meal in the middle of the night.

but then it just ends up getting burnt because you both decided to fall asleep when it was in the oven

he has a ‘KISS THE COOK :*’ apron and wears it religiously

he’s always shirtless when wearing it, and has grey sweats on to match (ugh yes samu ur such a meal‼️)

there’s also an unspoken rule that you have to kiss him when he’s wearing the apron, so he wears it all the time to steal a smooch from ya <3

“well would ya look at that, i’m wearin the apron, y’know what that means?”

“it means that you’re taking advantage of that apron, ‘samu.”

“guilty~”

atsumu is always your test subject for trying you and osamu’s creations, but sometimes you both purposely screw up just to get a reaction out of the blonde twin

ATSUMU MIYA

ok. atsumu CAN cook...he just...doesn’t.

cut him some slack, he’s a pro volleyball player that probably eats out a bunch most of the time

but once the two of you moved in together he definitely made an effort to cook homemade meals more

he’s definitely not osamu, but he can totally make basic ones

however, the one time that the two of you had decided to try something out of your comfort zone...

atsumu started a fire and the fire department had to come

“do ya smell something...”

“jesus christ atsumu you’re burning the eggs!”

“i thought ya were watching it!”

“you put too much oil, dumbass!”

so pretty much, now the idea of cooking together is pretty much just YOU cooking the food and atsumu handing you the ingredients and chopping up vegetables

when you guys decide to make a meal at like 2 am, it’s good vibes only‼️❌⭕️💢

literally you’re sitting on the counter top and atsumu is trapped between both your legs and you’re playing with his hair while he’s scrolling through his phone as you wait for the water to boil

sometimes you end up sharing a few kisses, which leads to the water spilling out of the pot and unto atsumu’s leg

“yer so pretty at night- OW, FUCK!”

“oh my god atsumu get away i need to check the water-“

while you’re cooking he sneaks up behind you, wraps his arms around your waist and drapes his head on your shoulders

always expect some mellow or soft music (the go to is Easily by Bruno Major) while cooking at night!

while the songs play, sometimes you and atsumu dance together around the kitchen

in the end, the food usually sucks, and atsumu won’t waste a second telling you that.

“i’m not going to lie, this sucks.”

KIYOOMI SAKUSA

this man...

he IS mr. perfect pretty much.

cooking??? he’s got it on lock he can do it all

i personally see sakusa as someone who just doesn’t like to give up easily, so he would definitely try to recreate as many dishes until it turned out properly

honestly, his idea of cooking with you at first was him cooking, and you sitting a fair distance away from the kitchen

and this is just because he’s used to throwing it down in the kitchen by himself

but overtime hes warmed up to you and you both cook together, of course while being marginally clean

sakusa absolutely loves making foreign foods because they challenge him

whenever he flies internationally for leisure or volleyball, he always comes back with at least one cookbook

whenever the two of you have time, you try to finish the recipes in the cookbooks

sakusa always finds it adorable when you struggle to keep up with him (since you aren’t the best at making foreign dishes) and he always finds a way to tease you about it

“you can’t even follow simple instructions,y/n? that’s pretty embarrassing.”

“shut yer trap! i’m trying my hardest!”

sakusa would just laugh and proceed to continuing cooking, leaving you a flustered and embarrassed mess <3

sakusa ain’t too big on pda in the kitchen, because you’re cooking and it can wait

the most he’ll do is wrap his hands around your waist as you both wait for the food

cooking with you can also sometimes be sakusa worst nightmare

you tend to get messy sometimes, you’re never seen without a stain on the side of your face

“you’re so messy, clean up the counter.”

while you’re a giggling fit, sakusa is veryyyy unamused

and he certain isn’t laughing when you purposely get him messy with a stain or two

while he just stares at you in shock, you take this as your cue to bolt and start running for your life cuz baby, he’s comin ‼️🗣

so basically, half of your cooking sessions end up with you getting chased by a flour-clad sakusa kiyoomi around the kitchen

but in the end, you’re always met with amazing food

SUNA RINTARO

suna.

he CAN cook.

but it doesn’t mean he’s good at it.

if it was possible, he would definitely burn water

although he’s usually attentive, he can get super absent minded when it comes to cooking, cause it’s borin and his phone is more important ‼️

like atsumu, suna’s idea of cooking together is once again, YOU cooking, and him stealing bits of food from the pots and pans

“this one tastes really good. we’re so talented babe.”

“we? you were sitting on your ass and i was cooking...but yeah, we’re talented.”

you learned your lesson to NEVER ask suna to cook for you...

when you had asked him to make you breakfast, he had made himself at home in the kitchen, acting as if he was about to bring out a 5-star meal

“you’re going to love this one, babe.”

he really presented a slightly BURNT piece of toast with butter on it, and a glass of water with a shittily cut slice of lemon to go with

“viola, babe, dig in”

“how on earth did you even burn the damn toast.”

he also offered bring you breakfast in bed, and you were met with a half cooked plate of scrambled eggs with half the eggshells in it

“suna...did you even let it cook?”

long story short...baby do better‼️

he’s literally so annoying you ask him what he feels like eating and says ‘you’ as if he’s doing the most 🙄

now you’re just completely convinced that suna cannot cook for the life of him, which is kinda true

but you’d be surprised at how he suddenly turned into a cooking god when it came to baking edibles

sometimes he goes all out, making you wear a coat, goggles and shit

“edibles are delicate and must be handled property.”

“so you’ve become a scientist, suna?”

he gets really into it when making edibles

it’s you and him time, so no electronics in the kitchen! just you, him, and some urban music playing as you wait for the edible cookies, brownies and rice krispies to finish baking

both of you are on the floor in front of the oven, backs against the counter while you just talk to each other

sometimes, if you’re both feeling affectionate enough, you’ll sit in between his legs and rest across his chest

and when the edibles are done, you get absolutely zooted (responsibly of course)

gen taglist: @bokukiyoom

also thank you to viru baby for helping me with these headcanons ily babe!!

*send an ask to be added to general taglist

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peach-the-owl · 3 years

Note

Exu crew and an artificer kid? The crew enters the kids home town and they don't seem that happy about it but doesn't say anything, everyone goes different ways to shop/explore/etc and while everyone goes their own ways the kids old bullies pull them into an alleyway and just bully them breaking anything kid made/name calling/pulling hair just being unbelievable mean. The bullies all freeze, then kid looks over their shoulders and sees the whole group behind them looking intimidating, the bullies run away while the other ask what's going on and try to comfort their child.

Wow this was longer then I expected SORRY!! I hope you have a wonderful day ❤️

There’s no need to be sorry for an idea 😁 I hope this turned out good

(Second piece to deal with a bullying theme, dang)

Fine Craftsmanship

ExU Crew & Child!Artificer!Reader

The trip to Byroden was a longer one then you first thought, having to make a few pit stops to rest and restock on food, but it did have its perks, giving you time to work on some projects while on the road. They weren’t anything huge, you wanted to surprise everyone in the group with a personally crafted item, everything was fine at first until you recognized the town you were currently approaching.

"Are you alright (y/n)? You seem a bit jumpy." Dorian comments, having noticed your fidgeting hands. You take a quick second to calm yourself before replying.

"I’m fine, this is actually my hometown. I haven’t seen it in awhile, you know." He gives you a small nod and gets himself a better look out the window.

"If you’re from here that means you know where all the good stops are right?" Dariax asks excitedly.

"I’m still a kid, I wouldn’t know what’s 'good' in your opinion." You stare blankly, it was a bit strange sometimes to be one of the smartest people in the group.

"Right, right. No drinking for you." Dariax says, as if he already knew all this. You playfully roll your eyes at him and smile a little, maybe this wouldn’t so bad after all, so long as you stayed close to everyone. You enter the town and find a good place to park the Glitter-Shitter (I can’t even write the word with a straight face) before making your way into the marketplace and instantly Opal is off browsing the different shops and stalls of the market, dragging Fearne along with her and Fy'ra Rai trailing behind them, telling everyone to meetup in an hour. Dorian heads over to the tavern hoping to sweet talk the folk there for some food for the road, Dariax tagging along most likely to grab some drinks and test his luck with some gambling. Orym had disappeared from your sight entirely, heading off to do his own thing if you had to take a guess. You sigh unsure of where to go, now just hoping things go by quickly and without trouble as you sit by the wagon pull out some tools and continue to tinker away at a small gift you were making for Fearne for a while, placing your mind into a false sense of security.

"Well, well, well. Look who decided to come home." You hear a chillingly familiar voice spite at you and look over at the three people you were hoping not to see. There was Marty, Hamna, and their self proclaimed leader Fion (I just made up some names here, idk), they used to terrorize you relentlessly until you’d finally had enough and snuck on that cart to Emon, which lead to the adventure you were on now, a story come full circle in the worst way to you. You get up quickly hoping to dash over to where Opal and Fearne where looking at some sparkling necklaces for protection, you don’t move quick enough as you’re yanked back by your hair by either Marty or Hamna as Fion covers your mouth to avoid you shouting for help. Once pulled into a nearby alleyway, away from public view, Marty and Hamna each restrain one of your arms. You thrash and struggle to try and free yourself, managing to loosen their grip slightly only to get socked in the jaw by Fion giving the other two the chance to readjust their grip into a more secure position, trapping you.

"Let go! Leave me alone!" You shout as you continue to squirm to try and free yourself.

"Awww, and what are you going to do if we don’t?" Marty teases. You wanted to cast something to no avail with their tight grip preventing you of freeing yourself and grabbing your tools.

"Look at them," Hamna laughs, "they’re too weak to even break free." You glare at them. Fion walks over to you and starts rummaging around your bag, mindlessly throwing around the various items you’ve worked on for a long time to make.

"What’s this supposed to be?" They ask, holding up a hair clip you had intended to give to Opal.

"That’s for my friend! Put it back!" You shout a little too loud for their liking and the two holding your arms use their free hands to cover your mouth, muffling your words or cry’s for help. The one holding the hair clip looks it over in their hand before looking you in the eyes and snapping the item in half.

"Oops, sorry. My hand slipped." Their voice dripped with sarcasm. They continue to rummage through your bag, or look through the small pile of items they threw out of it, pulling out items you wanted to give to everyone as gifts. Every time they’d inspect one item, they'd just as quickly break it, smashing it on the ground or snapping it in their hands. You struggled and tugged against the two still holding you back and muffling out your voice, but it was no use, you were restrained, unable to call for help and left to helplessly watch as they destroyed your hard work. As if things couldn’t get worse, they pull out your tools, the literal lifeblood for your magic, look you straight in your eyes and while struggling a bit manage to break them too.

"Awww, they’re crying like a baby." Hamna laughs.

"That’s because they are a baby." Marty continues.

"If you really want to cry like a baby, we’ll give a reason to cry." Fion eggs on, getting the other two to harshly shove you to the ground. You curl into a ball preparing for the worst, you wait a moment and when nothing happens you peek up to see the three of them frozen in place with fear in their eyes. You adjust yourself to have a look over your shoulder and see everyone standing with intimidating looks on their faces.

Dorian stared daggers at the bullies, while also subtly fiddling with his handaxe. Opal twirled her knives in her hands, magic sparking at her fingertips, and if you looked closely enough you could see a faint glow emit from her necklace. Fearne stood tall, her snake staff coming to life and hissing at the three, Mister well perched on her shoulder screeches, purposely showing the fiery interior of his mouth. Orym takes a step in front of you, acting as a shield for you while placing his hand on the hilt of his sword, you knew well enough he wouldn’t actually draw his sword on the other kids, but they didn’t know that. Dariax on the other hand looked very ready to strike at the three, holding a tight grip on his spear.

"Are you hurt bad?" Orym asks quietly, looking over to you. You shake your head giving an equally quiet "no".

"I’m not a fan of people hurting my little friend here." You hear Dariax say, now fulling pointing his spear at the others, the three each take step back. You finch at the feeling of being suddenly lifted off the ground, finding yourself in Dorian's arms, he gives you a concerned but reassuring smile.

"Let’s get out of here!" Fion commands and the three turn to leave but are stopped when Fy'ra Rai blocks their exit, her eyes burning into them with fury.

"You’re unjust actions should not be left unpunished. You dare to put down this child as if they are weak, when it is you three that are the weaklings. Knowing you would never stand a chance alone you group together and single out the ones you see as vulnerable. It is sad and pathetic, now leave while we still show you mercy." Her voice held such a powerful tone to it, it almost felt like the ground itself shook at her words. Fion, Marty and Hamna scramble over each other before running off, one of them crying for their mommy.

"Who where those children? Do you know?" Dorian asks. You let out a long sigh and explain to everyone a bit about your life when you still lived in the town.

"What’s all this stuff here?" Opal speaks up, staring at the broken pile of items.

"I wanted to surprise you all with some gifts I made, but now their all broken." You sigh sadly.

"You made theses for us?"

"I tried to, I know they aren’t that good but you’ve all been so nice and carding to me, I wanted to retune the favour."

"That’s really sweet of you." Fearne smiles, giving you a pat on the head, you smile a little at this.

"Why don’t you just fix them? I’ve seen ya do stuff like that before." Dariax butts in.

"I would, but they broke my tools too." You pout.

"Well that’s easy, we'll just buy you some new tools." Dorian states, shuffling you in his grip a bit to have a better hold on you. You look up at him with big hopeful eyes.

"Really? I don’t want to bother you."

"It’s no bother at all, your our little genius, the last thing we’d want are some small town jerks preventing you from ever thinking that." He proudly proclaims, getting affirmation from the others. Fy'ra Rai walks over and gently lifts your chin up to look at her.

"Listen to me little one, you are much stronger then you'd ever believe, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise." You give her a small nod, not entirely sure what she means but finding her words encouraging nonetheless.

"You know what? I do remember seeing these really awesome looking tools, while searching for a cloths shop. Here I’ll show you." Opal brightens up a bit, grabbing and dragging Dorian and by extension you off into the market again.

"Opal!" Dorian calls in surprise, holding tighter to you so you wouldn’t fall. You just giggle at the two, looking over your shoulder to see the others hurrying to catch up.

#critical role #critical role & reader #exandria unlimited #exandria unlimited & reader #dariax zaveon #dariax & reader #dorian storm #dorian & reader #fearne calloway #fearne & reader #opal #opal & reader #orym #orym & reader #fy'ra rai #fy'ra rai & reader

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calcifermovesthecastle · 3 years

Note

SDC reacts to a S/o that’s very gentle and sweet, who just, listens to every single thing they need and always very attendent to their needs. However, one night they find out that it’s hard for them to open up emotionally and be vulnerable to them due to their past. Sometimes it overwhelms them to the point that they breakdown emotionally?

So funny story, I actually already had something like this written out so here you go lmao

A giver.

If anyone could describe you in a word, that’s what they’d say.

They would never fully appreciate it though. They’d never return the favor.

You smiled, placing a few calls for Mr. Joestar. You finished everyone’s laundry, leaving it to hang in your hotel room.

Your advice to Polnareff was well-placed and honest as you pointed out which of his best qualities he should accentuate to find love, and helped him in letting go of his past.

You continued to smile as you visited Kakyoin in the hospital, keeping him updated and read to him in his mother tongue, something you did struggle with.

With a smile still on your face, you ran the errands Avdol asked you to, as well as calming and feeding Iggy to get him off of Polnareff’s case.

“Can you?”

“Of course,” Was always your answer.

He noticed over time as your smile became more strained, how your eyes became veiled in shadow, somehow tinged red more than not, how the exhaustion you valiantly tried to hide riddled your body.

“Mm, of course Madam. Mhm. Of course! Yes, I’ll let your husband know right away. Absolutely, Madam. I’ll relay that message as well. Absolutely. You have a wonderful night.”

You hung up the phone, rubbing your temples, the bright sun blinding as you left your hotel room, knocking on Mr. Joestar’s door. He answered, still dripping from his shower, nodding along as you relayed Suzy Q’s messages.

“Thank you, doll. When you call her tomorrow, tell her for me that she’s more than welcome to go to the banquet in my place.”

“Of course, Mr. Joestar.” You smiled at him, handing him his and Avdol’s dry laundry. “I’m almost done with dinner, I just have to finish steaming the rice.”

“Be a dear and bring it to me when it’s done, hm?” He smiled, closing the door. You felt your smile slip, but wiped your eyes, heading to Jotaro and Polnareff’s room and knocking on the door.

“It’s open!”

You sighed, shifting the finished laundry to have a better grip on it, and opened the door.

“Laundry’s done, dinner will be done in a few.” You set Jotaro’s laundry on his bed, surpressing a cough when smoke from his cigarette entered your lungs. He put it out immediately, his eyes following you as you crossed the room and handed Polnareff his clean clothes. “I’ll bring it to you when it’s done, so get some rest, okay? Iggy’s taken care of, he’s sleeping on my bed right now.”

They both mumbled out a thanks, and you returned to your hotel room, swallowing the lump in your throat, bumping into the chest of a stranger, your apology dying on your lips when said stranger’s stand wrapped around your throat and constricted.

You activated your stand Medusa, feeling your hair transform into the white snakes you knew well. You tilted your head up, only for the stand to constrict even tighter, causing you to choke as its tail forced its way into your mouth and down your throat.

Struggling, you reached out your hands, grasping the stand and taking the heat from its blood. The user froze, his stand flickering and dissipating. You coughed, falling to your knees as your vision went in and out of focus, massaging your bruised throat. The stand user’s eyes followed you as you stood. The expression in them turned pleading as you pushed him towards the window, muffled screams leaving his throat when you opened it.

With great difficulty, you pushed him over the ledge, watching as he fell to the ground and shattered to pieces. You exhaled, your body starting to steam as your stand rapidly raised the temperature of your own blood.

Forty five minutes later, you balanced plates in your arms, taking dinner to Jotaro and Polnareff’s room first, avoiding their eyes as you set it down. You hadn’t realized your stand was still active, your snakes hissing in dissent.

Leaving without a word, you knocked on Mr. Joestar’s door.

“That took longer than usual, hm?” He leaned against the doorframe, grinning down at you, and something in you snapped. Your snakes hissed at him.

“Well my FUCKING bad, Mr. Joestar. I’m so sorry that I’m taking care of everybody’s extra SHIT. I’m fucking sorry that I was attacked by a stand user in my own god damn hotel room, and I’m fucking so god damn sorry that I had to remake the rice because while I was being choked to death, the rice had turned to inedible mush. So my FUCKING bad that dinner took ‘longer than usual’ today.”

Your snakes hissed as you slammed the dinner plates in his hands, steam radiating off of your body. Turning on your heel, you stormed back to your hotel room, slamming the door shut behind you.

Later that night, you sat against the wall, eating the egg and mushy rice that was ruined, tears sliding down your face. You had long since retracted your stand, your normal hair dripping from your shower.

Your door opened, and you looked up to see Jotaro, immediately scrambling to wipe your eyes and hide your bruised neck.

“Mm, Jotaro, what can I do for you?” Your voice was soft and hoarse from your ordeal. He shut the door behind him, sliding down to sit next to you.

“Nothing. I just thought you could use the company.” He looked down at you, his eyes flashing when he saw your bloodied lips. He reached over, tilting your chin up, studying the deep bruises imprinted on your neck. “Are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital? That stand could have crushed your windpipe.”

“I’ll just... I’ll just have Mr. Joestar use his hamon to heal me later, when I’m not- when I’ve calmed down.”

Jotaro studied you apprehensively, and you crumpled under his scrutiny, more tears welling in your eyes and spilling down your face.

“I’m just so tired, Jotaro. I haven’t had a chance to catch my breath since Mr. Joestar and I left New York. Everyone always needs something, and I don’t have anything left in me. I can’t do it anymore.”

He remained silent, his arm winding around you as you leaned against him and cried.

Even hours later, he remained, after you’d worn yourself out and dozed off against his side. His eyes grew heavy as well. Not wanting to fall asleep on the floor, he lifted you, careful not to wake you, and used Star Platinum to shoo Iggy off of the bed.

He set you down, tucking you in, a small smile quirking his lips when he saw the way your hair had dried. He cleaned up the room as quietly as he could, casting one last glance at you before slipping out.

“Madam Joestar, your husband says it’s perfectly fine for you to attend the banquet. Mhm. Oh, absolutely! The blue dress would look lovely on you, Madam. Of course, I’ll tell him to call you tonight. Hm? Of course not, Ma’am. No, he’s not overworking me. I sound tired? No, no, the reception is just a little choppy. I assure you, I’m doing just fine.”

You leaned against the wall, twirling the phone cord in your free hand. “Of course, Madam. I’ll let him know. You have a wonderful time.” You turned, hanging up the phone, coughing deeply into your elbow.

Mr Joestar stood to the side, his arms crossed, looking concerned.

“We’ve been taking advantage of you.” He tilted your chin up, studying your bruises. “I don’t think I’ll be able to heal this with my hamon, so you should probably see a doctor today.”

“Can you at least try?” It came out more pleading than intended, but you really wanted to avoid any more hospital bills.

“I can try, but I can’t guarantee anything.” He worked for a moment, warmth radiating from his fingertips. “If this doesn’t work, You can keep Kakyoin company for a while.”

“Okay.”

You hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

#jjba x reader #sdc x reader #jojo x reader #jjba #jojos #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken

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swarmkeepers · 3 years

Note

riz & gorgug for #5! ✨

5. heard you tell the same story multiple times but doesn’t point it out to you when you excitedly bring it up to them again + riz & gorgug (prompts linked here)

(starting immediately post-fhsy, and a little more angsty than the other prompt fills so far because it deals with some of the aftermath of spring break. sometimes friendship is late nights and brownie recipes and old stories.)

There are forty minutes left until Elmville when Riz digs his claws into the headrest of the passenger’s seat and clambers over the seat backs to sit shotgun in the Hangvan.

Everyone else is asleep, or as Riz suspects in Tracker’s case as she stays oddly still as a human pillow for Kristen in the backseat, at least pretending to. But Riz is quest-restless even though they’re heading home, and Gorgug’s awake because he’s driving, and both of their darkvision light up the street ahead for them.

Gorgug doesn’t look surprised when Riz lands in the seat next to him. Of course. Because his whole party knows that Riz doesn’t sleep, or at least has to be told to, or has to know that there are hit points to be regenerated and a fight to be alert for the next day.

Streetlights speed by and Gorgug brings the van to a smooth stop at a light, accelerating smoothly up afterwards to not jostle anyone in the backseat. He’s practiced, easy, calm. Meanwhile, Riz’s thoughts are a messy turbulent maelstrom. He can’t sleep, and after everything in the Nightmare Forest if he never saw a bed again it’d be too soon. But, forget sleep, his brain isn’t even letting him relax right now, and Riz is struggling to figure out the questions that are on the tip of his tongue. His fingers itch for a ball of red string, trying to figure out why he wanted to be up here with the passenger seat and the windshield and Gorgug.

“What’s being a barbarian like?” he asks quietly, and Gorgug doesn’t exactly startle but does tip his head to the side curiously.

“Can I ask why?”

“I’m—angry,” Riz says, surprising himself, but it feels true enough. “I killed Kalina, but she said she was with me my whole life. And I hate that.” He wants to hiss, to bare his teeth and make the hair on the back of his neck stand up, but it’s not Gorgug he’s mad at. “Sometimes I wonder if I should use that to. Hit things.”

“Okay,” Gorgug says.

“And you—you know about that. About being angry, and not being. As comfortable. Or at least you’ve said stuff like that.” Riz picks at his long fingernails, pretending to be nonchalant and not looking up to see if Gorgug’s insight is better than his shitty attempt at deception.

“Tell me about why you wanted to be a rogue?” Gorgug asks instead, and Riz understands it’s not really a question. He trusts Gorgug. He thinks about it.

“Um, my mom was always a detective, I guess. And my dad was a spy, but I guess I didn’t know that.” Riz spends a lot of his time thinking. He’s realizing he doesn’t spend a lot of time thinking about himself. Maybe he needs to make a new conspiracy board. “Uh. I guess the first time I ever saw Penny sneak attack someone was really cool, I definitely knew I wanted to do that.”

Gorgug makes a soft hm? noise that asks Riz to keep talking. “Because I was little and Penny’s little too, and we were at the mall and some asshole catcalled her? And oh, man, you should have seen her, Penny was probably an Aguefort freshman then? But she told me to hide behind this vending machine and—”

They’re all the way home, with the Mordred Manor crew taking their stuff out of the trunk while Gorgug and Riz keep talking. Riz finished his story hurriedly as they pulled into the driveway, ending with Penny teaching Riz to make brownie bars at Strongtower after the sneak attack incident and being so cool and badass and nonchalant about making that guy’s nose gush with blood. He’s talking fast and gesturing big like he doesn’t usually, caught up in a story that he can tell well and that he hadn’t thought of in a while. Him and his rogue friends are tiny badasses.

“That was a good story,” Gorgug says. “Rogues seem pretty cool.”

Riz grins, all his fangs out and happy in the driveway of the manor. “Thanks, dude.”

“I think you can be angry and not a barbarian,” Gorgug says, gently.

And “Okay,” Riz says, gentled.

It’s the tail end of one of Fabian’s all-out summertime ragers. The Bad Kids are in a big cuddle pile that barely fits on the picnic blanket on the lawn of Seacaster Manor, and Gorgug’s at the very bottom. Riz is tipsy on half a beer (goblin metabolisms are not good and it’s not his fault) and he thinks Gorgug looks a little lonely, lying on his stomach and tapping at his crystal with all the wind knocked out of him from everyone lying on top. He scrambles down the pile of friend-bodies and sits on the grass by Gorgug. Riz racks his brain for something good to say. He doesn’t want Gorgug to be lonely, not when Riz is going to be up all night and Riz is usually the lonely one.

“Di’ I ever tell you about the first time I saw someone get sneak attacked,” Riz says, words big and bubbly and coming out too fast. He doesn’t care, he’s buzzed and happy and Gorgug looks like he could use a good story.

“I don’t remember, tell me,” Gorgug says, putting his crystal down face down so its glow goes dark.

“Oh man, you’re going to love this story. It was, like, me ‘n Penny at the mall, and there was this real asshole of a dude, and I didn’t know Penny went to Aguefort but she took out this knife? And it was like she flew at him—”

At some point in the story Gorgug falls asleep, and Riz is more pleased than annoyed. He looks cozy. And not lonely.

“What’s this, The Ball?” Fabian asks when Riz takes a fantasy tupperware of brownie bars out of his briefcase and puts it on the the table in the cafeteria.

“They’re sneak attack brownies,” Riz says.

It evidently does not clear up any of Fabian’s questions.

“Penny—Penny Luckstone?—they’re her recipe, she taught me how to make them the same day I ever saw her sneak attack a dude,” he explains. “She like, jumped out from behind one of those fake potted plants at the mall and slashed him so bad with a dagger and then she didn’t even get sneak attack on it but she also socked him in the nose and it was like the coolest thing I’d ever seen. And then she just went home and washed the blood off her fist and then we made brownies.” He puts a hand on his chest. “And I’ll never forget it.”

“Okay, The Ball,” Fabian says, but he takes a brownie.

Next to him, Gorgug’s already halfway into his second, nodding happily and energetically so his hair flops in front of his face. “I love that story!” he says. He’s all leaned in, listening to Riz’s story.

Riz lights up—he’s no Fabian, with expensive magical gifts, and he’s no Gorgug either with little artificed trinkets and sweeping big gestures. But he’d remembered the story and remembered the brownies and wanted to make some, and he’s just glad his friends like them as much as he does.

“Because the secret ingredient is sour cream,” Riz confides. Fabian fake-sputters, sending tiny brownie crumbs everywhere, and Gorgug swats at him.

“You were eating it just fine before!” Gorgug says indignantly. “Respect the brownie, dude!”

“You’re right, Gorgug,” Fabian sighs. He takes another bite. “They’re not bad, The Ball.”

Riz only dimly registers footsteps pounding up the stairs and also a greataxe brute forcing its way through the booby traps at his office door. His crystal is abandoned on the floor next to him, the last text he sent to Gorgug still on the screen. It’d been “Having a bad time. At my office. Can you come help? Thanks, Riz” and it’d been typed out with shaky fingers as his breaths started coming too fast, the way it does whenever he lets himself be alone in his own office for too long. Riz hates it but he needs help. He forgot the period on that text and it’s been staring at him for the past few minutes.

His brain is whirring too fast—Shadow Cat, Kalina’s eyes in his own eyes, Baron in his mirror in his own office, darkness and danger and Fabian in churning waters, he died in that forest and so did Adaine and so could any of his friends, bullets dodged and bullets fired and it’s too much, too much. His breaths are coming too fast but also not fast enough. Riz feels suffocated.

He’s wedged himself into his own briefcase of holding, the sides squeezing his arms in a way that’s grounding and comforting when nobody else is here in his office to help.

But Gorgug is. Gorgug is here to help now. He skids to a stop in front of Riz and sits on the floor and Riz only dimly registers it out of the corner of his eye where his head is curled into his chest trying to make himself small, make himself safe.

“Riz, can I touch you?”

Riz does his best to nod and Gorgug just wraps long lanky boy arms around his torso, gently lifting Riz out of his own briefcase and settling him in Gorgug’s lap as they sit on the floor of the office. He doesn’t let go, just squeezes tighter. It’s so much help, and also— “Can you. Talk? Anything— Anything’s fine,” Riz says.

“Um. Sure, Riz. I guess I can. I could list a recipe? My parents have been trying to teach me to cook more, for when we go to college in a couple of years. I’m sorry, I’m not like Adaine, I don’t have lots of interesting things memorized,” Gorgug says, apologetic. Riz wants to be able to tell him not to be, but he’s a little preoccupied trying to make his brain tell his lungs to breathe.

“Uh, so these are called sneak attack brownies?” Gorgug says hesitantly. Riz realizes what he’s doing and tries to laugh, the giggle interrupting the choked breath he was trying to take.

“They’re called sneak attack brownies because they’re my badass friend’s recipe. And he learned it from his badass friend. Um, I don’t know this super well, actually, but I really should by now and I’m just going to keep talking and if it’s wrong then I guess it’s wrong? I know that you need chocolate for a brownie. And eggs and sugar. You told me the secret ingredient is sour cream.”

Riz nods, thudding his head into Gorgug’s chest a little. He takes a deep breath. Gorgug’s hoodie is soft. And he’s a good listener.

“Right, uh. After sour cream. Flour. And butter?”

“The butter’s— the butter’s unsalted,” Riz manages to eke out, voice small and quiet and mostly talking to his own knees.

“Got you. Unsalted butter,” Gorgug agrees, easy as anything.

“Penny said— Penny said that dude she punched’s tears were salty enough, that’s how I remember it,” Riz tells him.

“Tell me more?” Gorgug asks, and he waits patiently as Riz lets his brain just focus on a recipe, an easy recipe and a badass story. It helps, to be given something focused to do. And Riz is just so, so glad he has friends who will give that to him, will listen over and over again when Riz needs to talk.

And Gorgug waits. And Riz tells him.

from the prompt list linked here! i’m closing prompts from this particular list simply because i have so many excellent ones to get through

#i love these soft bois and i hope you do too!#this got. truly so long i am so sorry #the green team. the nerd boys. the people with proficiency with guns.#they're GOOD FRIENDS gorgug is a GOOD LISTENER riz makes BADASS BROWNIES #food #fantasy high #sophomore year #gorgug thistlespring #riz gukgak #sola said #sola ficced #sola prompted #nonbinarywithaknife #sola answered #yes i know they don't get home to mordred at night but poetic license okay #also 'gorgug and riz in riz's office at night' and 'gorgug and riz in gorgug's van at night' feel like tropes for these two by now #and i'm here for it

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jimlingss · 4 years

Text

Sugar and Coffee [10]

Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11

➜ Words: 5.2k

➜ Genres: 99.5% Fluff, 0.5% Angst, Pâtisserie school!AU

➜ Summary: It isn't hard to be a pâtisserie chef, but it's not a piece of cake either. It seems like for you in particular, life keeps throwing in one wrench after another. It always finds ways to make your sweets bitter. The cherry on top is Jeon Jungkook — a rival with a sensitive sweet tooth who always finds ways to complain about you.

cr.

You love baking.

It’s what got you through the years of high school, through your grandparent’s passing and when home wasn’t the refuge you wanted it to be. For a long time, baking was the only real interest you had. And for great reasons too. It was magic and every time you stepped into the kitchen, you felt like a magician, pouring ingredients in, mixing to get an instant product. It’s chemistry with a sweet result. Something you can share with others. And that passion has only deepened over time. You love baking desserts, pastries, cakes, tarts, everything. Even things with chocolate, no matter how hard it is to master them. But fuck. Lemon meringue pie is an absolute bitch. “The pie filing is a bit watery.” The teacher places her tasting fork down. “Not too bad, but lots of room for improvement, you two. Watch that starch.” You and Jungkook sigh. This was your second attempt too. You swear this dessert is a nightmare in disguise and here to ruin your career. Taehyung notices the gloomy atmosphere bogging you and Jungkook down. He slides up to your counter after the teacher goes to judge the next pair that have finished. “Can I get a taste?” “Knock yourself out.” The boy beside you pushes the sad pie over to him. Taehyung eats, tasting it thoughtfully on his palate, and hums. “The crust is a bit soggy, huh?” “I don’t get what we did wrong,” you mutter. At least this was just practice and not a time-constricted examination. But so much for picking Jungkook as your partner. You thought he was the most competent baker in this class and thus the most worthy to bake with you. But maybe you gave him too much credit. “Well, there could be a number of things you did wrong. Maybe you boiled your cornstarch for too long or at too high of a temperature. When did you add in the lemon? The acidity might’ve destroyed your cornstarch’s ability to stay thick,” Taehyung points out, suddenly an expert on pies. “Also did you make sure the lemon filing was hot before you spread the meringue? That might be your issue as to why the filing is a watery mess. Try again, guys. Maybe you’ll succeed next time.” “What the fuck.” Jungkook has his brows furrowed, eyes narrowed into slits. Like you, he’s baffled. He doesn’t even process it and is unable to think of a comeback to Taehyung’s condescending tone. Taehyung is an idiot. Usually. Since when did he know better than the two best people in class? “Want a taste of ours?” A huskier voice sounds behind Taehyung. The brunette moves aside and you find Yoongi at the counter beside yours, a smirk plastered on his face. He sets down his lemon meringue pie. It looks similar to yours. “Sure.” You wonder what their pie’s issue is. But as you dig into the slice they cut and put it on your tongue, there’s an explosion of flavour. Their crust is buttery and crispy, meringue fluffy on your tongue and soft. The filling is sweet yet balanced with a citrus sharpness to the flavour. You almost cream your pants as you swallow. Your mouth is watering for another lick, but you have too much dignity and pride to do so. Unfortunately, Jungkook can’t hide his expression as well as you can. “Good, right?” Both Taehyung and Yoongi are wearing shit eating grins, obviously relishing in your reactions. “The teacher said it was the best she’s tasted in a long time. Asked us if we cheated and bought it at a bakery.” “This’ll probably be our last attempt.” Yoongi hums, crossing his arms. “Probably don’t need to try again. She said she’d give it an A anyway, and you can’t really get any better than that.” You take a deep breath and grab Jungkook by the shoulder to drag him back to the counter with as much dignity as you have left. // The scent of lemon is stuck to your skin permanently. Even with a change of clothes and your apron stuffed in your locker, you can still smell the damn thing when you’re miles away from the kitchen. “Can you smell that or am I going crazy?” “No.” Jungkook already knows what you’re talking about. “I can smell it too.” “God.” You bang on the door and Jimin opens it. “Hey, Chim.” “Hey, guys.” The two of you step inside where the others have already gotten started, playing Super Smash on the TV with Yoongi and Taehyung battling against one another. It’s not an unusual sight, but what makes you stop in your tracks is that— “Aeri?” Your friend is seated on the couch with Hoseok’s arm looped around her casually. “Hey.” She greets you with a shy smile. You nod, rather impressed at this new development. “I didn’t know you’d be here.” “I didn’t either,” she admits and Hoseok grins at you. You throw your bag down while Jungkook flops beside Yoongi, taking a controller to join in. “Gonna play?” Jimin asks, about to hand you a controller too but you shake your head. “Nah. Not yet. I’m starving.” You pat your stomach and walk to the kitchen, ready to raid the fridge of whatever it has. “Don’t eat the meringue pie!” Yoongi shouts after you. “Fuck you,” you spit without looking back. “I wouldn’t even if you paid me to.” Now that’s one huge lie. But you still have your pride to hold onto. “Let me join you.” Aeri gets up and scrambles from Hoseok’s arm much to his dismay. You hum, peeking into the fridge and purposely overlooking the beautiful, godly pie in the middle. Min Yoongi must’ve placed it there to mock you on purpose. That fucker would. But you aren’t swayed and you grab the jars of peanut butter and strawberry jam as well as the stale bread. You place the ingredients on the counter to slap a sandwich together. In the meanwhile, Aeri lingers on the other side of the island. “How was your day?” she asks. “Good,” you answer and don’t beat around the bush— “So you’re dating Jung?” She coughs, sputters, caught off guard by your question. “Well…..I-I don’t know.” You loll your head to the side, giving her a look, and the blush on her cheeks deepen in hue. “Maybe? I don’t know…..it’s...kind of my first time….” “Being in a relationship? Yeah, I get it.” You smile reminiscently. Even if you’ve lost a comrade to the curse called love, you can’t feel bitter about it. You know what it’s like — the excitement, butterflies, nervousness, how every touch got your heart racing into what you thought would put you into cardiac arrest. The innocence of a first love can never be repeated. “Do you like him?” “Y-Yeah. I think so.” Aeri struggles to explain how she feels and makes wild gestures without realizing. “Every time I see him and every time he’s gone….I...I….” “You miss him.” The girl in the sweater nods and tugs on her sleeves self-consciously. “Sometimes I get really anxious that I’m doing something wrong and other times I’m so happy.” “Yeah, that’s how it goes. Love’s a crazy thing, huh?” You spread the peanut butter on one side of the bread. “Fucks with your brain real bad.” “It does,” Aeri agrees sheepishly. “And I don’t like being out of control with my feelings, but I think….it’s worth it.” “I’m jealous.” The words come out before you can stop it, but then you reel back and you laugh it off, slapping both halves of your sandwich together. “Not really. I’m kidding. Anyway, take it slow and you’ll be fine. Hoseok’s a good guy. You have nothing to worry about.” “Yeah, I know.” She grins, rocking back from her heel to her toes, beaming with joy. “And if he ever hurts you, tell me.” You slam the butter knife you have in hand onto the counter and it makes her jolt in surprise. “I’ll kill him.” Giggles bubble out of Aeri's throat. They diminish as you finish making your sandwich, tossing your tools into the sink. But she doesn’t easily let go of the slight envy you had accidentally expressed. “You’re doing okay, right, Y/N?” “Things couldn’t be better,” you assure with a grin. Except that’s a lie too. The both of you arrive back to the living room and your ears perk, catching wind of a husky voice, “—pie is good enough to win the competition, guaranteed, so that’s why we signed up.” If there was one thing in your life that could be better, it would be Min Yoongi and Kim Taehyung’s humbleness or rather, lack thereof. “Are you still talking about your pie, Yoongi?” You scoff, flopping down to the couch, and eyeing him with a cocked brow. Aeri slides back beside Hoseok in the meanwhile and the dark-haired man is visibly happy to have her return to his side, arm coming to drape the back of the couch again. “You have no other accomplishments to rave about?” “At least I have one.” “It wasn’t even that good,” you tell the rest of them just for the record. But Yoongi audibly scoffs. “Really? Because it looked like Kook here was about to start crying.” “Jungkook always looks like he’s about to cry when he’s put on the spot.” Your kitchen partner turns his head away from the screen towards you. “Excuse me?” “Just admit it,” Taehyung eggs you on to further irritate you. “Our lemon meringue pie was the best thing you’ve ever tasted and that we’re going to crush the other teams.” “After we pick up that five hundred dollar prize, I might as well retire.” Yoongi stretches out his muscles with a small smirk. “I finally found the product I can sell for the rest of my life.” “Gordon Ramsay would probably put it on his menu to serve,” Taehyung says to his partner who shrugs nonchalantly. “I wouldn’t be surprised.” You whirl your head to the other people in the room to see if they’re hearing this like you are. Both Jimin and Aeri are sheepish and shrug at you, not knowing what to say. Hoseok grins, enjoying the back and forth. But you know that look on Jungkook’s face, the expression he exchanges with you. The two of you are pissed off at their cockiness. Hoseok notices and decides to throw gasoline into the fire. “Was it really that good?” “You can try it if you want. It’s still in the fridge.” The corner of Yoongi’s lips curl. “But it’s better than Y/N and Jungkook’s, that’s for sure.” “A lot better than theirs,” Taehyung says in a matter of fact way. “Theirs was sad, the filing and crust soggy. The meringue was weeping too. What a shame.” “Can’t blame them,” Yoongi adds as he leans back into the couch, spreading his thighs like he owns the damn place. Which he does. But that’s not the point. “Lemon meringue is hard to make. Only the best. Excellent. Competent. Most talented can bake it.” “That’s right,” Taehyung agrees. A muscle in your cheek twitches. Your jaw clamps. That’s enough for you to snap. “Jungkook and I are competing too.” Your partner looks away from the game and quirks a brow. “We are?” “Yeah.” Your eyes flicker from him back to the grinning duo. “So we’ll see who the best really is.” // It hindsight, it was a bad, bad decision made on impulse. The baking competition was taking place on a Sunday at school with four teams already signed up, including Taehyung and Yoongi. The competition itself isn’t too shabby, especially considering that the five hundred dollar prize is a great incentive. The problem is you and Jungkook haven’t prepared anything whatsoever. And it’s a problem that explains why most students don’t do bake-offs — sometimes it’s more effort than it’s worth. The pair of you haven’t decided anything. You both haven’t practiced. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Jungkook asks, standing in front of the bulletin board with all the details of said competition happening within the next few days. “Come on, Jeon!” You try to ignore your own doubts by firing him up, plopping a hand on his shoulder. “We have our pride and our dignity on the line.” “I’ve never had too much dignity to begin with,” he mutters. “Are you really going to let Yoongi and Taehyung tell you that they’re more competent than you?” Jeon Jungkook scoffs, his competitiveness being poked at. “Yoongi can’t pipe for shit and the only thing Taehyung can bake is bread.” “Exactly.” He nods and together, the two of you sign your names on the sheet, bracing for whatever is to come.

The day of the competition arrives sooner than expected. You’ve gathered at an open kitchen with all your friends watching on the risers at the sidelines, and two of those most annoying idiots are at the counter beside you. There are ninety minutes on the clock and three teachers you know seated at the front with bright smiles. Mrs. Pham is nodding her head, Mr. Chu looking around while Miss. Kang coming forward with a microphone. Something that should be a friendly contest has you, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Yoongi oozing an intense competitiveness that has the other three teams scared. “Alright folks, when the timer begins, you can begin and get whatever ingredients you need from the pantry. Remember, you will be judged on taste, presentation and creativity equally! Try your hardest and have good sportsmanship!” “Ready?” You lean in to whisper to Jungkook, eyes meeting his and he nods sternly. “Is everyone ready?” Miss Kang lifts her arm and on three counts, grins. “Go!” The timer begins and Jungkook books it to the pantry with Taehyung is hot on his tail. In the meanwhile, you preheat the oven to four hundred degrees fahrenheit and grease two baking sheets that are already at your counter. Jungkook ends up coming back sweaty but with a basket of things you need and doesn’t seem to be missing anything. “Nice.” “Course, I have it all up here.” He mischievously taps his temple, making you lightly scoff. “Hand me the—” Before you can finish your sentence, Jungkook slides the butter across the countertop and you catch it. “I got you.” The boy in the white apron winks, making you roll your eyes. You combine one cup of butter and two cups of water in a large saucepan, putting it over medium heat. At the same time, Jungkook works in sync with you and gets two cups of flour prepared with a half teaspoon of salt. Right when the butter finishes melting, you remove it from the heat and whisk in the flour and salt. He puts the egg carton beside you and begins to chop the semi-sweet chocolate he had gotten from the pantry. Beside you, Yoongi and Taehyung have fallen into a rhythm as well. They shout calmly at one another, as calm as shouting can be. You know they’re not to be underestimated, but it’s comforting to know that you don’t need to win — you just need to beat Yoongi and Taehyung. Miss. Kang approaches the pair of them. “What are you two doing here? Ooh, Yoongi, looks like you’re making pie crust and Taehyung you’re making working on some filing?” “It’s lemon meringue pie,” Taehyung says with a grin, flickering his eyes up. The teacher is genuinely impressed. “A classic, but one with great difficulty to master. I’m excited to taste it. Are you nervous at all?” “Not really,” he responds. “Our pie is the best.” “I am loving that confidence, you two. Keep it up!” She continues around and as you’re working, you hear the team behind you are making rhubarb cherry pie. Another team is working on mocha truffle cheesecake and the last, a duo diagonal to you, is baking blueberry bread pudding. It seems like everyone has a solid plan, but you don’t dwell or pay too much mind. You focus on beating the eggs into the mixture one at a time until the batter is smooth. “What a lovely sight to see, Jungkook and Y/N!” Miss. Kang is ecstatic to see the two of you working together. Especially when she was the one who paired you both to the internship happening in two months while being completely aware of the bitter feud that was going on back then. “And what are you two making today on this beautiful afternoon?” “We’re making croquembouche,” Jungkook says with a smile as he finishes chopping his chocolate. His announcement seems to get the attention of the other contestants, Yoongi and Taehyung whipping up their heads to look as well. The teacher is taken aback. “And you’re making that in an hour and a half?” “That’s the plan.” Jungkook grins with that bunny smile of his, channeling that Jeon charm of that almost has you rolling your eyes yet again. “It will be very impressive if you two can pull it off. Well, good luck!” Miss. Kang walks another round before waltzing back to where Mrs. Pham and Mr. Chu are waiting. She must murmur something to them because their eyes suddenly widen and they look over at your station. Jungkook works on spooning the choux dough into twenty four small rounds on each baking sheet and once it’s in the oven, the timer sets for half an hour. “It’s in.” “Good.” Quickly, you wash the raspberries and leave them to dry before preparing the caramel mixture. You pour the sugar into a saucepan and then add two thirds cup of water, allowing sugar to boil and you move to prepare the ice water. Jungkook, on the other hand, heats the one cup of heavy whipping cream until it shimmers and pours chocolate over it. He stirs until it’s all melted and lets it sit to return to room temperature after sprinkling in coarse sea salt. Once the choux is golden brown, it’s out of the oven and both you and Jungkook work side by side to pipe the ganache into the choux. “Twenty minutes left everyone!” Mrs. Pham announces. “I’ll grab the caramel,” Jungkook says and you nod, going to get the serving plate. The both of you work fast. You dip the choux into the caramel and leave it on the tray for Jungkook to begin assembly. But in the midst of working, he notices your hands beginning to shake. “Hey, Y/N.” He calls you softly and your eyes flicker up. “It’s going to be okay. We’re doing well.” You nod. It’s calming to have his reassurance and you finish dipping all forty eight in while Jungkook forms them into a cone shape, towering up to your eyes. You bring over the caramel, the consistency that of syrup, and you lightly drizzle around the choux pastry puffs. The thin threads of caramel wrap around the dessert, gold and glistening in the light. Jungkook’s brows furrow, placing the raspberries between them in the last few remaining seconds. “Here.” You help him. “Ten….nine….eight….seven….six….” Mr. Chu is counting down, watching the timer go off. Then it rings. “Alright folks, step away from your plates, please!” It looks like all the teams have finished on time, and the scent of baking surrounds your senses — breads, chocolates, and cooked sugar. The air is sweet. You look over and Yoongi and Taehyung are grinning. Their perfect lemon meringue pie is on their counter, exactly replicated from last time. But your eyes move back at your own dish, and you find pride blooming in your chest. The french dessert stands tall, choux pastry puffs piled into a cone shape and bound with threads of caramel wrapped around it. On the sidelines, Jimin, Aeri and Hoseok are cheering, and while you’re not sure if it’s for the other team or your own, you like to think both of you deserve it. “I think we did pretty well, if I do say so myself.” Jungkook gives you a cheeky smile, getting you to high five him. You giggle after your hands slap together. “I think so too. Ours has the best presentation that’s for sure. It’s only about taste now.” “I’m sure we’ll be fine. Well...I don’t know about your pastry, but my ganache filling is…” He does a chef’s kiss, gathering his fingertips together to kiss against them and then opening up his hand. You scoff. “Please, Jeon. If there’s any issue, it’s going to be the caramel or the ganache. My pastry is perfect. I would know. My specialty is going to be in pastries.” Jungkook grins, expression all too playful. “Okay, we’ll see then.” The three judges go around, giving a taste to all the dishes and giving compliments. As expected, their eyes bulge at Yoongi and Taehyung’s pie, and Taehyung seems to charm them too. All of them laugh, openly wondering if they somehow cheated and slipped in a pie from a gourmet bakery. “Very fluffy and crisp. Absolutely delicious.” Mr. Chu bobs his head in approval. “I’m not much of a pie person myself, but very well done.” “Thank you.” Yoongi offers a modest smile. They move on, having nice things to say about everyone with few criticisms. And when they come over to you two, they’re smiling and all the contestants pay close attention. “Now to the dessert of the hour.” “It’s incredible that the pair of you managed to make croquembouche in an hour and a half. It can take some up to four hours, so I’m very impressed over your ambition,” Miss. Kang admits, “There was a point I thought you weren’t going to make it. But you worked hard and finished it off, so well done.” “A very tedious and painstaking dessert to make,” Mrs. Pham notes. “But you both work well together if you can pull off something like this under such strict time conditions.” “Exceptional teamwork,” Mr. Chu agrees. They each take a choux from the top onto their plates with raspberries, and a bit of caramel. When they bite into the pastry, they quirk their brows in surprise. “It isn’t pastry cream?” Miss. Kang chews thoughtfully. “It’s salted ganache.” “Jungkook works well with chocolate and I work well with pastries so we decided to combine both our skills and put a twist to the usual croquembouche,” you explain. “Very creative!” “The salted ganache is also bittersweet and the choux is very crisp,” Mr. Chu says as he swallows. “Typically the choux has to be chilled in the fridge, but in spite of skipping that step, I cannot taste the difference. The raspberry is a good touch as well and not just for presentation.” Mrs. Pham nods at him. “It’s crunchy and has a good bitter note to lessen the sweetness of the caramel. It’s perfect.” “Well done, you two!” Miss. Kang grabs for another. Once they finish up, they take a step back. “We’ll take ten minutes to decide the final results!” After the announcement is made, they return to their places at the front as Yoongi and Taehyung slink over. “I’ll admit…” Yoongi ganders at your tower of pastries. “This is pretty damn extra.” “We take challenges seriously,” you chime with a grin and he smirks. “Can I have one?” Taehyung asks, fingers itching, eyes glimmering. “They made it sound so good.” “Sure.” But you stop him before he can grab one. “On one condition. I get a slice of your pie.” “Deal.” “So you admit it.” Yoongi cocks his brow, smiling. “Our pie is delicious.” “I never said it tasted bad.” You mischievously shrug. “I want a slice too,” Jungkook says as he leans over. “Or two.” Yoongi takes a choux off of your tower and grins. “Fine by me.” While Taehyung moans about how good your croquembouche tastes, the other contestants come swarming over, curious and wanting one as well. Jimin shouts from the sidelines to save him one and Jungkook hands them out. In the meanwhile, you go over with Yoongi to claim a slice of the meringue pie and get Jungkook’s before it’s all gone too. “Think you’re gonna win?” Yoongi shrugs, surprisingly not as arrogant as before. “Maybe. We’ll see.” You lightly scoff at him. “Where did that confidence go?” But the dark-haired man merely shrugs. He cuts you a piece and you don’t hesitate to dig in. Yoongi smiles when he sees you openly enjoying the pie without restraint and then his eyes travel across the room to where Jungkook is still happily handing out the pastries. “So this is what the dream team can cook up, huh?” “Dream team?” You frown. “Yeah. You and Kook,” he says it like it’s obvious. “You two are the ultimate pair. What? You’ve never heard people say that before?” “People? Who?” His shoulders bounce nonchalantly. “Classmates. Teachers. I’ve heard it a few times and it’s true. You make up for what the other person lacks and you work well together. It was easier to deal with when the two of you still hated one another, but now that the top two kids can work with each other, it sucks for the rest of us.” You burst out laughing. “You just have a lot to catch up on, Min. Don’t fall behind on me and Jeon.” “Kind of hard not to when you’re both maniacs.” Jungkook comes barrelling over for his piece of pie before you can eat it. You also try other contestants’ desserts before the judges return, making you all scramble back to your stations. “The results are in!” Miss Kang announces with a bright smile. “Everyone did exceptionally well today and it was difficult to come to a decision, but there’s a team in here today that was just exceptional and demonstrated that it’s possible to push the limits on taste, creativity, and presentation!” You look over to Jungkook and he grabs your hand, bracing for it. “Please give a round of applause to our winners—” Suddenly you’re being picked up. Jungkook has his arms wrapped around you and lifts you off your feet, swinging you around. After a second, he sets you down onto your feet again, but you’re bewildered. There are claps from the few in the audience, the contestants and teachers applauding and all staring at you and Jungkook. Aeri, Hoseok, and Jimin are on the stands cheering loudly. Yoongi is smiling while nodding in approval. Taehyung is grinning. And Jungkook places his palms to your cheeks. Your mouth forms into fish lips, face squished together, and he makes you look at him. Your dazed eyes meet his. “We won!” “We….won?” You blink. His doe eyes are glimmering like there are stars captured in his dark irises. Jungkook’s pretty — you never really thought about that before. “We. won. We won?!” You can’t believe it. But after some words of congratulations, it sinks in. “We won, you freaking idiot!” You jump on your feet and hug Jungkook again. He smells like chocolate and sugar, his apron dirty against yours, but you don’t particularly care. Not in this moment. “You’re not such an idiot, after all!” Jungkook laughs, boyish features scrunched up. You smile at him. Maybe Yoongi’s right. No. You know he is — you and Jungkook are the ultimate duo. Like two socks that make a pair, like two magnets that attach, like dumb and dumber. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Hey, Jungkook!” Baekhyun approaches him in between their class break, and they fist bump each other. “I heard you won that competition with Y/N. Congrats, man.” “Thanks.” “How’s it going by the way? Haven’t seen you in a while.” The two of them are not necessarily close, but they became friends in last semester’s sanitation and safety class where they both died of boredom together. “As great as it can be with exam season coming up.” “Yeah, it’s tough.” Baekhyun sympathizes with a sigh. “Business communications is destroying me. Like I need to get at least a ninety on the finals to pass the course.” Jungkook sharply inhales. “That’s rough, dude.” “But hey, after this then it’s just our internships. That’s the only thing getting me through it. That and my girlfriend. Oh yeah, you were going to do wedding cakes, right? How do you feel about it?” “I’m still not sure,” Jungkook admits and then without thinking much, says, “The only thing getting me through it is being able to hang with Y/N.” He hasn't seen you since the competition which was two days ago, but it’s still a long time. Especially when he’s used to you plopping down beside him during breakfast, lunch or dinner — when he’s used to you banging your fist on his dorm room — when he gets texts with you whining about period cramps — when you come from nowhere and pester him till the end of the world. Jungkook’s still buzzing over the victory, but it’s been tough days one after another. The only thing that gets him through it is finally being able to see you and spend some time with you. These days Jungkook prefers being with you anyway as opposed to hanging out with Yoongi, Taehyung, Jimin, and Hoseok. They’re noisy and always worsen his headache. Sure you like to purposely egg him on and tease him, but your company is still peaceful and worthwhile. Most of the time. “So you two are finally dating?” “What? No. No, we aren’t.” Jungkook laughs it off. It’s an odd idea that still sends shivers down his spine. “Oh, okay, my bad.” Baekhyun smiles. “It’s just that I see you both hanging around together a lot and I’ve heard you talk about her a lot too.” “Yeah, we’re friends.” “So you’d be okay with it if she dated someone else?” he suddenly asks. “Uh…” Jungkook’s caught off guard, mouth opening before closing like a fish out of water. “I guess?” “You guess?” He pauses. Jungkook flashes him an odd look and Baekhyun laughs loudly, lifting his hands and backing off. “Sorry, I don’t mean to intrude or be annoying. It just reminded me of before my girlfriend and I got together.” “It was kind of hard to tell where the line of friendship and romance was and then one day I realized that friends don’t really miss each other in the way that partners do. Like when you miss them when it’s only been a short period of time, like a day or two. But anyway,” Baekhyun sing-songs, “I shouldn’t stick my nose into anywhere it belongs. I know I tend to do that and Jessica always yells at me for being rude. Oh shoot. I should get going now before I’m late. See you around?” “Y-Yeah….See you.” Baekhyun smiles and walks away, not knowing the bomb he just dropped. Jungkook’s brows furrow and he begins to dangerously wonder. He wonders if he’s supposed to miss you like this when it’s only been two full days. If he’s supposed to come to you every time something goes wrong. If he’s supposed to think of you every time there’s good news. If he’s supposed to think of you this much. Friends aren’t supposed to think about each other like this.

#bts fanfic #bts scenario #jungkook scenario #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook baking!AU #sugar and coffee #jungkook x reader #jungkook reader insert #jungkook as a dumb dumb baker #and oc who is even more of a dumb dumb baker #which is a great irony considering theyre the best bakers lol #gOD the fluff is gonna be amped up so much y'all in the next few chapters #you're gonna be stuffed with the uwu and pass out

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lost-in-the-80s · 4 years

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You Don’t Want My Love - Chapter 3

Pairing: Duff McKagan x reader

Words: 3,786k

Summary: Guns n Roses hires a new tour assistant, but nobody thought that Duff would fall for her.

In this chapter: Erin’s arrival on the tour turns the band upside down. Y/N hadn’t realized how much she needed a friend until she had her to talk to. Y/N and Slash go to an arcade.

A/N: 1- I was struggling with this chapter, so sorry if it’s shitty.

2- I was thinking about making a playlist inspired by this fic, do you guys want it? If so, let me know!

3- Also, reminding you that I’m posting a new chapter every Tuesday.

Tag list: @roger-taylors-car @ladieswttda @teasid @metalheartofgold @slashscowboyboots @ginny-rose-sixx @rumoured-whispers @vinylvintage add yourself to my tag list :)

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After Tom’s departure Y/N couldn’t avoid feeling a little lost, she’d grown used to him instructing her and she missed his participation at the silent book club. It wasn’t a club though, just the two of them, sitting backstage reading without saying anything.

The only good part about Tom leaving was that she finally got his bunk. It felt weird during the first night, to sleep somewhere that wasn’t the couch, but as soon as she fell asleep her body got used to it.

Duff was on the bunk on top of hers, as she was a light sleeper she would hear him mumbling some things while he was sleeping. He moved a lot also, which would usually wake her up, but she didn’t really mind.

It had been a week since Tom left and the things with the boys were starting to get back to normal. Duff helped her get more along with them, inviting her to play cards with the boys one night and asking about her opinion in random conversations, just so she could participate.

The two of them had grown quite close during this week, he was a nice guy, she could tell that. He always asked her to join them wherever they were going and even helped her with some of her duties when he had some free time.

And that was quite the problem. She liked his company, he was easy to talk to, and when there wasn’t a subject he would ask for her opinion on the books she was reading. He was a sweet boy. Too sweet to say the truth, and she was starting to want to be around him. But she shouldn’t.

Duff was from a completely different world, the two of them were complete opposites and the only reason why he was spending time with her was because he had no one else to. She knew that as soon as the tour ended she wouldn’t ever see him again, so she didn’t want to become too close to him.

She and Steven were back to normal, he never acted like that again and Izzy, well, Izzy was a hard person to read, he had never been rude to her, but they didn’t really talk. She didn’t take that personally though, he didn’t really talk to anyone.

Things with Axl remained the same, he hadn’t talked to her for eight days and counting, sometimes, she would laugh at one of Duff’s jokes and he would give her a death glare, but she tried to ignore.

Slash was another story. She talked to him, but just the necessary, she was still upset about what had happened during the party and expected him to apologize, but as the days passed, the less probable it got for him to do so.

In that morning, she woke up before the boys, and after doing her routine and checking up her agenda she realized that they would reach the next city around ten in the morning.

Talking to the bus driver, he informed her that they would stop for breakfast in thirty minutes, which allowed her to do her favorite part of the job.

Getting inside the bedroom area she turned on the lights while saying loud enough for all of them to hear.

“Good morning, princesses! It’s 7 in the morning and we’ll make a stop for breakfast in thirty, so move your asses out of the bed and get ready!”

Leaning against the wall opening, she saw Axl exiting his bunk, his hair was a mess as he slowly walked towards the bathroom while rubbing his eyes.

The second to wake up was Steven, just like her, he was a morning person. He got up quickly, putting a white tank top on before giving her a huge smile. “Good morning, Y/N!”

“Good morning, Steve!” She smiled back.

As soon as Axl left the bathroom and Steven got in, Izzy plopped on the ground beside her, he was dressed in just his underwear, which made her look in the opposite direction. However, she did notice the dark circles underneath his eyes and the remains of the hickeys Cheryl had left on his chest.

Cheryl had decided to accompany another band last Saturday, hugging Y/N tightly and telling her to call when she opened her boutique before leaving.

As per usual, Slash and Duff didn’t get up.

Getting close to Slash’s bunk she touched his shoulder slightly. “Slash! wake up!”

He mumbled in response and so she moved to Duff’s.

“Duff, time to get up!” Her head was at his bunk’s level.

He moved slightly before opening his eyes, focusing directly on hers. A small smile appeared on his face.

“Good morning, Y/N.” His voice was husky due to his sleepiness and for an odd reason, her heart started beating twice as fast.

“Good morning, Duff.” She smiled sweetly before walking out of the room.

Sitting on the couch, she grabbed a Vogue magazine and waited until the boys got ready. As the minutes passed by, all of them joined her in the living room, except for Axl, who was, as always, late.

When the bus came to a stop and they got up to exit Axl finally showed up, she, Axl and Duff were the only remaining people on the bus and she stopped to let him go first, he was already hating her, she didn’t want to give him one more reason to.

“You can go first!” He gestured with his hand for her to pass.

She looked at him waiting to see if he was being sarcastic, but the smile on his face told her that he was in a good mood. Strange, she thought while she exited the bus.

The bright morning sun hit her skin and she stopped for a while, allowing the warm feeling to take a hold of her. Starting to feel as if someone was watching her, she turned around, finding Duff walking slowly towards the snack bar.

“He spends eight days without talking to me and then he suddenly decides he’s ok with my presence!” She scoffed while joining Duff.

“Erin is coming, so he’s in a good mood.” He looked down at her.

“Who’s Erin?”

“His girlfriend.” He opened the door for her to get in first.

“But he was hitting on me when I arrived.” She frowned.

“Oh, that! He was only joking that night.” Duff smiled at her, letting a small chuckle escape.

She and Duff sat beside Steven, in front of Axl and Izzy, Slash being to her right.

When the waitress arrived, she started making the orders, a month with them had been enough time for her to know that they had certain habits.

Izzy would always ask for a black coffee and a pack of cigarettes in the morning, while Steven would ask for pancakes. Slash and Axl liked scrambled eggs with coffee and Duff would usually eat pancakes with Steven.

After asking for the food, she took a pack of cigarettes out of her purse, giving it to Izzy.

“Thank you!” He smiled at her. “You know, I didn’t expect much from you Y/N, but your efficiency is something to be recognized!”

The compliment made her smile. “Thanks.”

As soon as the food arrived they started eating while making small talk.

“These scrambled eggs remind me of my grandma ones!” Sash smiled, “You guys wanna try it?” He extended the plate for the rest of them.

Steven got some for himself, while Izzy simply shook his head.

“Want some, Y/N?”

“No, Thank you.” She replied while looking at her plate.

She didn’t see Slash frowning when he looked at Izzy as if asking if he had done something wrong, to which he shrugged.

---

Back at the bus, she focused on her reading while Steven put some cartoons on the TV.

Sitting in front of her, Slash spoke up.

"Did I do something you didn't like, Y/N?"

She stared at him for a couple of seconds. How could he not remember? She thought.

Taking a deep breath, she closed the magazine. "Actually, you did."

He stopped for a second as if he was trying to remember. "What was it?"

"You seriously don't remember?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "...No?"

They all started to stare at the two of them. Even Axl, who was expecting to see a fight. He had seen what had happened that night, but he thought Slash remembered.

"You tried to kiss me that night at the party."

"Wha-... Whe-... Oh shit, was that you?"

She nodded as a response.

Axl and Steven started laughing, Slash's face was full of confusion and embarrassment.

"Wait! She's the hot chick who you were complaining about?" Duff interjected, making fake quotation marks with his fingers.

Slash's face got hot and he thanked that his hair covered most of it.

The boys started laughing harder, even Izzy joined them.

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry, Y/N! I swear I didn't recognize you, I wouldn't ever have done that to you!" He rubbed his forehead and his embarrassment was enough to make Y/N realize that he was telling the truth.

"I'm so so sorry!"

"It's ok, just don't make it happen again!" She pointed a finger at him.

"Sure, sure! You have my word!"

---

After two more hours on the bus, they finally arrived at the hotel. They were in New York, and their hotel was huge, the lobby itself making Y/N's last apartment look like a shoebox.

She walked towards the receptionist and stopped in her tracks when she heard a high pitched scream. Turning around she saw a girl with reddish-brown hair running towards Axl, who embraced her tightly.

She was wearing white denim pants and a black tank top and seemed to be taller than Y/N. Brushing it off she went back to work, making the boys’ check-in. But she couldn't deny that she found the scene cute.

When she was giving the boys their keys, Axl stopped her to make presentations.

"Erin, this is Y/N, our assistant. Y/N, this is my beautiful girlfriend Erin." He was smiling again.

She looked at the girl, finding her smiling while extending her hand towards Y/N, who shook it, smiling a little.

"Nice to meet you!"

"I'm glad I'll have some female company around here!" Erin said, smiling harder.

If she smiles more, her cheeks will start aching. Y/N thought to herself.

"What do we have for today, Y/N?" Axl asked.

"Soundcheck at 2, interview at the arena at 4:30 and the Gig at 7."

"Sorry, doll, I won't be able to go with you." He turned towards Erin.

"But you promised me we would go shopping in New York!"

"I can't, babe, I’m sorry."

She looked around and a smile appeared on her lips.

"Can I take Y/N with me then?"

Y/N looked up from her agenda. "Me?" Her eyes slightly widened.

"What if we need her?" Axl said.

"Let the girl go, we can survive without her for a day!" Izzy said, patting Y/N's shoulder before heading to the elevator.

"Do you wanna go, Y/N?" Axl asked.

"I could use some shopping." She smiled.

Erin made a happy sound before hugging her. "We're gonna be best friends!!"

The action made Y/N laugh while hugging her back.

She was going shopping? In New York? She couldn’t believe it!

Once in her room, she took her time making a quick happy dance before quickly changing her clothes for a pink dress and some white high-heels, finalizing her outfit with some sunglasses.

Getting at the lobby, Erin intertwined her arm with hers and so the two of them got in a taxi and drove towards downtown.

The girls entered a store, starting to try clothes.

“What do you think?” Y/N asked, showing Erin a short black skirt.

“Wow! You look fierce!”

Y/N smiled, turning around to look at herself in the mirror again.

“But it’s a little bit short on you, sweetie, if you want I can get you a bigger size.” The saleswoman said while looking Y/N up and down.

Y/N checked the skirt in the mirror again, it was definitely short, but she liked it.

“Who cares if it’s short?” She asked, shrugging.

“If I was into girls, I’d definitely bang you!” Erin said laughing.

The woman’s eyes widened while she turned around leaving the two alone.

“I hate it when they keep giving opinions.”

“Uhh, me too!” Erin rolled her eyes. “Are you hungry? ‘cause I feel like my stomach is going to eat me!”

Y/N laughed. “I am!”

“Let’s go eat something then! it’s already 4 pm.”

“Really? Wow, time flew!”

Getting near the store cashier Y/N started to get worried, she had picked lots of clothes by impulse and now she was worried that she wouldn’t be able to pay for all of this.

“Should I charge everything together or separately?” The woman asked when they put the clothes on the counter.

“Se-” Before she could finish, Erin interrupted.

“All together!” She handed her the credit card.

Erin looked at Y/N and saw the confused expression on her face.

“Axl gave me the band’s card, he said I should pay for your clothes since you keep up with him every day.” She giggled slightly.

“So turns out he’s not that much of an asshole!” Y/N smirked.

Erin nudged her. “He’s not an asshole, he’s just…. just…”

“Temperamental?” Y/N laughed.

“Sensitive!” Erin replied, but laughed along.

After getting their bags, the girls walked side to side towards a beautiful café, where they ordered cake and tea, sitting at a table on the sidewalk.

“So, where are you from, Y/N?” Erin asked when they finished eating.

“North Dakota”

“Wow, and how did you end in LA?”

“I got a scholarship at UCLA.”

“Really? That’s awesome! And what course did you take?”

“Fashion. I wanted to be a fashion designer.”

“Oh, that explains a lot.” She mumbled before taking a sip of her tea.

“What do you mean?” Y/N leaned against her chair.

“Nothing, it’s just that, the boys get the feeling that you don’t like working here.”

Y/N frowned, but Erin kept talking before she could say anything.

“It’s like, you’re efficient, and you do the job perfectly, but you don’t seem to be enjoying yourself, it’s almost as if it was an obligation for you.”

Y/N stopped to think. “It’s just that, I had so many dreams, and none of them happened, and I’m feeling frustrated you know? I wanted to accomplish many things, but life hit me with a bus.” She looked to her plate, sadness overtaking her.

“Hey, I get that! Sometimes things don’t go as planned.” Erin touched her hand, offering her a warm smile. “But try to see this by the bright side. Like, what are your biggest dreams?”

Taking a deep breath, she drank the remaining of her tea before answering. “I wanted to open my own boutique and I wanted to travel the world”

“Why are you saying I wanted? You can still do these things!” Getting closer to Y/N she moved the flowers in the center of the table away, trying to see her better. “You want a boutique right? If you use the money you get with the tour to invest, in three years you’ll have enough money to open it. My dad works with the stock exchange, I can ask him to give you some tips!”

“Really? Would you do that?”

“Sure!! And you said you wanted to travel the world, girl, what are you doing right now? Look around, you’re in New York, in a few months the boys will go to Europe, you are traveling the world.”

Wow. Y/N had never realized it. She was indeed living one of her dreams.

“I know that this wasn’t your dream job and that it must be really annoying to deal with the boys and stay for so long in that bus, but at least you’re not dealing with paperwork behind a desk.”

A smile started to form on Y/N’s lips. Erin was right, this was way better than paperwork. She could go to parties, dress whatever she wanted, stay at the best hotels and to be honest, she kind of liked being around the boys.

“Yeah! You’re right, Erin! This is not so bad!”

Erin nodded excitedly while drinking the rest of her tea.

“I think we should go back.” Y/N informed while checking the time on her wristwatch.

“Really? Can’t we stay for more? I wanted to go to more stores.” She pouted.

“I’m afraid not. Your boyfriend will freak out if nobody gets him his damn towels.” Y/N rolled her eyes, but giggled a little. “Speaking of it. What does he do with so many?”

Erin raised her hands in defense. “I have no idea.” She whispered while shaking her head.

---

The rest of the day went on by fine, Y/N helped the boys before and after the gig and collapsed on her bed when they got back to the hotel. So many hours walking in heels granted her a long and deep night of sleep.

She couldn’t avoid letting a small satisfied moan to escape from her lips when she got comfortable in bed. It’s so good to lay in a bed that doesn’t shake with the road. She thought, before falling asleep.

The next morning, Y/N woke up with her bedroom’s phone ringing.

“Yes?” Her voice was grog and she barely could open her eyes.

“Y/N, I want to ask for breakfast, but I don’t know how to use the hotel’s phone.” Steven’s voice filled her ears, he seemed to be hopeless.

She frowned while rubbing her eyes. “But, how did you call me then?”

He paused for a minute. “With the… phone…”

She laughed. “Hang the phone and then press 0, the receptionist will answer you.”

“Oh, ok. Thanks, Y/N!”

“It’s no problem, Steve.” She hanged the phone, laughing again.

Stretching up she saw it was 11 in the morning already. “Looks like I’ll have brunch!” She smiled, she loved brunch.

After taking a shower and putting on a pair of jeans with a red blouse, she left her room, asking for the receptionist where she could find a good restaurant nearby.

---

It was 6 o’clock now. She was in her room reading, her legs rested on the bed’s headboard while she laid upside down. A knock on her door took her away from the romance she was currently addicted to.

Opening the door she found Slash leaning against her door frame.

“What are you up to?” He asked casually.

“Just reading.” She pointed towards the book with her thumb.

“Put a jacket, let’s go out!”

“What? To where?”

“There’s an arcade nearby.” He put his hands in his pant’s front pockets.

“Hmm, I don’t know…”

“Come on, everybody is out for dinner, we’re the only ones who stayed.”

Her lips turned into a thin line as she tried to think.

“Come on, it’s gonna be fun! You can read some other time!”

“Fine! Give me 5 minutes!” She closed the door on his face, before rushing to find her new denim jacket she had bought the day before.

Applying some mascara and a nude lipstick she got her purse and exited the room.

When they got on the street, Slash spoke up.

“Once again, I’m sorry about the party! It won’t happen again!”

“It’s ok!” She assured him with a small smile.

Entering the arcade a red light covered their skins, Tears for Fears played in the background and she smiled, she loved them.

“What do you wanna do first?” Slash asked after they got the tickets.

She shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s my first time!”

“Oh, so you’re having your first time with me?” He tried to smirk, but ended laughing.

She playfully slapped his arm while laughing. “Idiot!”

“Ok, pinball it is!” He yelled.

Slash taught her how to play and started complaining when her punctuation became bigger than his. “This is not possible! You’ve played it before!”

“I haven't, I swear!” She put her hand at her heart.

They went on with the night, playing many different games. When they passed by Dance Dance Revolution she stopped in her tracks.

“Oh my gosh! Let’s do this one! Please!”

“What? No way!” He started walking towards another game.

“Come on, you’re owing me after the party!”

“I’m disappointed you’re this type of person, Y/N.” He touched his chest, pretending that she had hurt him.

“Please!” She laughed at his drama.

“Ok, but I’m just watching, no way I’ll play this.”

She shrugged. “As long as you hold my purse!”

Choosing Walking On Sunshine by Katrina & The Waves she started dancing, stepping on the lights with mastery.

Her heart filled with happiness, she loved to dance, and she missed doing it more often.

“Wow! Great score!” Slash congratulated her when stepped out of the game.

“Thanks.”

He was leaning against another game table, looking into her purse, her small mirror was in one of his hands. “How do you manage to put so many things here?”

She got the mirror from his hand along with her purse, while shaking her head at him.

“You lied.”

“Me!?” She scoffed.

“You said you had never been to an arcade, but you destroyed that game!”

“It’s the truth. I had never played that.” They started walking towards the exit.

“How did you do so good then?”

“I was a cheerleader, I know how to dance.” They stopped, getting their jackets.

“A cheerleader huh?” They entered the empty streets and Slash lit up a cigarette.

She shrugged while making a bun with her hair.

They entered the hotel and got in the elevator.

“You know, for someone who listens to ABBA, you’re nice.” He teased her while smiling.

She rolled her eyes. “For someone who wears a shirt saying ‘I’m a slut’, you’re nice.”

They laughed. The doors opened and they started walking through the corridors.

“This is my room.” She pointed stopping.

“Yeah, I know. It was nice hanging out with you!” He stopped on the other side of the corridor, in front of his door.

She nodded. “I can say the same.”

“Good night, cheerleader!” He said smiling, before entering his room and closing his door.

She rolled her eyes and entered her room. Something inside her head told her that they’d be good friends.

#harley writes #you don't want my love #duff mckagan #duff mckagan fic #duff mckagan fanfic #duff mckagan imagine #duff mckagan x reader #guns n roses #guns n roses fanfic #guns n roses fic #guns n roses imagine #guns n roses x reader #gnr #classic rock imagine

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6knotty6thotty6 · 3 years

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So a couple of months ago, I saw a YouTube video that was an audio recording of season 5, episode 6 of Bojack Horseman, “Free Churro.” In the episode, the main character, Bojack Horseman, spends 20 minutes giving a eulogy at his mother’s funeral. There’s one big problem though, his mother was an abusive bitch. His eulogy is him trying to contemplate what she meant by her drying words, “I see you,” and whether or not she loved him. As someone who has a dead parent who was abusive, this is probably my favorite episode of any show ever for how much it helped me understand my feelings. The comments section is filled with people sharing their pain with their abusive families, but one comment stood out to me above all the others by how raw and relatable it was. This comment was by a YouTuber named Moonstruck. At the bottom of this post is a link to her channel. Please support her. After reading this, she deserves a million subscribers. Also please watch Bojack Horseman. (I corrected some of the grammatical errors to make it easier to read)

Disclaimer: Child abuse, bullying, trauma, and mental health:

Moonstruck:

This is a great monologue, but one part of it, in particular, really caught my attention was the 'grand gesture' bit.

When I was a kid, I read this book called "Chicken Soup for the Soul." There's a shitload of them. I don't remember which particular one it was. I hated the whole series because it's just someone profiting off a bunch of other people's stories rather than trying to write their own, in my opinion.

Anyway.

This one story that I remember, the ONLY one I remembered, was sent in by a little girl. She wrote about how her father never told her that he loved her. He never once, in her whole life, said the words "I love you." I don't remember her mom being mentioned, maybe she was dead; it doesn't matter. The point is her dad was basically an emotionless asshole. Well, one day, this girl gets sick. Really sick. Possibly on her deathbed sick. She wrote that one day she woke up to find a necklace sitting on her nightstand that had a pendant that looked like her dog. She said she held it to her heart and cried because that necklace said all the things her father never had.

I thought, "What a load of bullshit."

A cheap trinket doesn't make up for years and years of emotional neglect. Anyone can buy a thing and toss it your way. Hell, he didn't even hand it to her himself, just left it there for her to find if/when she woke up, then left her alone again to possibly die.

A lot of people say that actions speak louder than words, in cases like political protests and shit. While that's true, scenarios that this that girl are different. Gifts can never replace the words, "I love you."

When I was a kid, my father never told me he loved me. My mother didn't either, but she's a whole other kettle of fish. I would say 'my biological mother or father,' but I never got adopted ones, so who gives a shit. Anyway. My father was rarely around, and when he was, he just spent the entire time fighting with my mother and leaving again. He would do and say anything that could get him to spend less time in the house with her. With us. I can't blame him. If I could've left during those times, I would have. I tried more than once. I even earned the nickname 'runaway' from a family friend because of it.

I was told that I was worthless as early as I could understand words. I don't know what it is about me that set my mother off, but she HATED me. I was always told how expensive I was to keep alive and how I wasn't worth it. If I dared ask for anything, she would remind me how much she spent just to keep me from starving to death and that it was too much already. On the rare occasion I was given something, it was so she could use it as a threat. She was like, "Sure, you can have that toy horse since we got your sister a real one, but you better behave or we'll give it to her and let her break it." Or "Oh, fine, we can keep this dog as a FAMILY pet (NOT YOURS), but if you do something we don't like, we'll take it away and kill it."

Oh, yeah. I have a sister. She’s cut from the same cloth as our mother. I don't consider any of them family anymore. She was two years older than me. She was the "we should have stopped while we were ahead" kid. Anything she wanted, she got.

"Mom, can I have an award-winning horse and expensive dressage lessons?"

"Sure!"

"Mom, can I have a car?"

"No problem!"

"Mom, can you pay for my ballet lessons?"

"Absolutely!"

She was the golden child. The one that could do no wrong and wasn't a mistake. Even after she totaled her car, got arrested for an underage DUI, and got pregnant three times in high school, she was still the good one. I never even asked to go to school dances, parties, or go out with the one friend I had. My sister liked to see me in pain. She'd tell our mom that I did things just to get me in trouble. Whether it involved blaming me for things she did or fabricating stuff, she'd say whatever it took to get my mother to beat me while she watched and laughed. Oh, yeah, our mom was BIG on physical punishment. I've been whipped with everything from a riding crop, a wooden paddle, spoons, and especially belts. Anything that was close at hand when my mother got irritated, I've been hit with it.

At one point, my sister had three tall, beautiful show-worthy horses. I was allowed to keep a sickly old pony for all of a week before she was taken away, then I'd get called ungrateful for asking why we had to get rid of HER instead of one of the horses. Even though my mother said it cost too much to keep them all. With horses being obviously too rich for my blood, I asked for something cheaper, and for once, I got it. I was given a baby goat that one of our neighbors' goats had abandoned for being too weak, and they didn't have time to raise. I loved that goat. I bottle raised him, and named him Ben. He was my best friend for a while. When he grew up, he got so big that I was able to stand on his back to grab tree branches and pull them down so he could eat the leaves. I walked him on a leash like a dog every day. I loved him so much. My mother had me enter him in a show, and we won ninth place! I was thrilled to have something to show against my sister's collection of dressage show ribbons. I finally had proof that I could do something right! Sure, the prize money was taken away from me, but I still had Ben.

But Ben didn't come home with me after the show. It turns out he was sold to a slaughterhouse because that show was for meat goats. I didn't know until he was already gone. Of course, my mother punished me for being upset and even forced me to write a thank-you card to the people who bought his meat.

My mother was always like that. Anything I loved was used as a threat. I eventually accepted that loving anything was a waste of time. I learned to detach myself from my feelings, and I got really good at it. I can completely turn off my emotional reaction to anything. One time I had to put down one of the egg-laying hens at work that got too sick to save, and I felt nothing while bringing down the ax. When I lost out on a job that could have changed my life, I told myself how stupid it was to hope for anything good. Any positive emotion I felt got me punished, so I learned to feel nothing at all. To this day, I still have trouble feeling things, even when I want to. I'm taking pills now, and they help, sometimes.

I've had several suicide attempts. I keep a box of razor blades in my desk just to have them close. I got a tattoo of a heart with rainbows on my wrist. Partially for LGBT solidarity, but mostly to remind myself that there is still beauty in the world. I still struggle with wonder if I actually believe it or not.

I've tried so hard to be a good kid. I never partied, never drank, never smoked even when the chances were there, and I would have greatly loved anything to make the pain stop or even just dull it a little bit. I was in the gifted and talented program at school and was able to graduate at fifteen. For a while, I was sent to a children's home where I was passed around to many people I didn't know, including a clown who I may or may not have actually been related to, until I eventually wound up out here where I am now. It's all pretty hazy, and the details get scrambled.

It's been 10 years since I've had contact with my mother and sister. I can't even keep in touch with the one friend I had, even after I lived with her. She's tried to reach out to me, but I just… can't. I try, but I can't. Sometimes, I can almost pretend that my past wasn't real. It's just a hazy fog that isn't really there. I want to believe that if I don't allow something, or someone, who was part of that past, someone tangible and real, into my life again, then the fog will go away. This is why I can't do it. I know I'm a terrible friend. Ariel, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. You're better off without me in your life anyway.

I typed all of this out because sometimes, about fifty dollars or so shows up in my PayPal from my father's email address. I don't know if it's from him or from her using his email, but it doesn't matter either way. The point is I know my mother is the one sending the money.

I know my mother likes to think she's a good person. She went to church every Sunday, and probably still does. She organized a lot of church events and participated in every church function. I had to be an altar server for several years until I aged out of it and was in the choir. She kept going to that church even after the priest got drunk, called me many horrible names in front of everyone, and was revealed to be a pedophile that raped a little boy at gunpoint. She probably still goes to that same church and organizes things. She likes being in charge. She likes having people look at her and say, "That there is a good person."

But are you, though, Mom? Are you really a good person? Were you a good person when you hit me? When you lied to me? When you laughed with my sister about how much I got hurt for things I didn't do? Were you a good person every time you told me you'd kill my cat or leave my dog at the pound? Were you a good person when you sold Ben to be eaten, knowing that I loved him? Were you a good person when you made me read "A child called It" and told me that you'd start doing the things in that book to me if I didn't behave? Were you a good person every time you told my father I was a liar whenever I tried to tell him what you were doing to me? Were you a good person when you told me I wasn't worth the cost of being alive? Were you?

Fuck you, Mom! Keep your fucking money! A necklace on the nightstand isn't enough. A trinket can't heal years and years and years of abuse and hurt. You can't hide these scars under dollar bills. I hope you die alone. I know I probably will, but I don't even care anymore. I lost the ability to care thanks to you. You can't make up for the things you did and the things you didn't say now. Too little, too late!

#child abuse #abuse #domestic abuse #family #survivor #YouTube #bojack horseman #forgive #mom #mother #friend #friends #story #personal #chicken soup for the soul #free churro #monolouge #father #dad

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yamithediaperdork · 3 years

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Billy's Birthday Bash part 1 (DC)

Billy yawned and sat up in bed, reaching over and turning off his alarm clock which was blabbering away about how the justice league had saved the day last night, again. from alien attackers, Again.

"Like I don't know that." Billy muttered, swinging his blanket off and twisting in his bed so his bare feet could hit the floor. "I was only there."

Billy Batson after all was the secret identity of the world's mightiest mortal Shazam, gifted with gifts from seven gods and one of the league's heavy hitters.

Just thinking about that brought a smile to the 13 year old hero's face and he turned to pose in in the mirror in his bedroom, and then his face fell as he saw his reflection.

while once he said his magic word he was a 6'9 muscled beefcake, the image looking back him with it's scrawny arms and chest which were covered with a faded flash themed PJ top while around his hips was a semi bulky and again flash themed overnight diaper, that was drooping from being used many times (Thankfully only wettings though, something he confirmed with a quick pat to his padded rear and a sniff of the air) despite Billy having only made it to bed at around 3 am.

He hadn't of been worried about getting in trouble for being out so late though.

the once orphan had been happily adopted and taken in by one Barry Allen and got alone great with his new dad and tried to be pleasant around Miss west, Barry's girlfriend who came over often enough to have her own key.

It wasn't that she was unpleasant or anything, it was just with Billy's 'problems' acting up bad enough that he needed his diapers basically 24/7, she insisted on diaper checks, even in front of her nephew Wally who'd come over sometimes with her and was like the coolest guy ever!

The reason why he hadn't of been worried about Barry finding out though was because Barry was also a member of the Justice league, ironically the Flash who's symbol had been on the front of the bulky diaper at one point.

"You'd think he'd be mad these things even exist since till Bat's set up that account for us there was no way to collect royalties." Billy grumbled to himself.

But when asked Barry admitted if he could help kids like Billy who had potty issues feel big and brave like superhero's, He was fine with the diapers being made and mostly didn't touch his share of the royalties.

though as Billy's legal guardian Shazam couldn't touch his share either without permission and was irked that Barry would use some of Billy's money to stock up on his diapers.

"I'm teaching you to be reasponable. if you have to pay for the diapers you'll be less likely to rip them up like that first pack Iris got you." Barry had reminded Billy, with a smirk on his face but a slight stern tone.

"I said sorry..besides they had stupid ponies and stuff on them." Billy had whined back.

still he fell in line and even if he had wanted to just blast the diapers with his lighting some times and suck up the wasted cost, with his new day's symbol on it he just couldn't do it.

Since he was only wet Billy was allowed to change himself, there had been the great carpet incident a few days after he'd moved in trying to change a dirty diaper on his own and Barry had made him pinky swear to ask for help with those.

since Billy was on the family plan and had his own cell phone he could just discretely call Barry when he was smelly, though thankfully his daytime accidents were few and fair in between.

Snapping the tapes off Billy had a minor moment sulkiness again since his budding pubic hair had been shaved clean because of his diapers, though he had to admit Barry had been right, he was getting a LOT less rashes.

balling the soggy diaper up and holding it out with one hand, Billy took a deep breath and pinched his nose with the other one as he stepped on the foot petal for his diaper pail and dropped it in, not wishing to smell memories of diaper past.

with that done he walked around enjoying the lack of a waddle in his step for the precious few moments he would and tugged opened his version of a underwear drawer, stocked full of daytime and overnight flash brand diapers.

"Gee, what's a boy to wear, flash themed disposable undies or flash themed disposable undies?" He asked, tapping a finger on his chin and smirking a little."the struggle is real for 13 year old pants wetter."

"heh, Oh really?" Came a voice from the doorway and Billy yelped and tugged to tug his shirt down, even though he knew Barry had seen everything.

"B-Barry knock!" He huffed, and blushed, hands over over his crotch now.

"I did, someone was off in his own little world.. in fact so off he forgot what today is." Barry said and smirked, pointing over to a Shazam themed calendar on the wall, with the dates date circled in red."Your not 13 anymore silly. Happy birthday~"

Billy, who normally was ignored on his birthday either by choice or lost in the shuffle while in foster care really had forgotten and now grinned big time.

"That's right! I get a real party, with cake, and ice cream an-" Billy was saying and was cut off as Barry zipped over, a little bit slower in his blue jeans and denim shirt but not by much and was ruffling Billy's hair.

"And you get a birthday spanking." Barry teased, but winked to let Billy know he was joking.

"Try it and I'll saw you know what." Billy giggled and blew a raspberry.

"Hmmm flash vs. Shazam in a spanking fight. we could sell out areas. But At last, your butt's just too cute to mare." Barry chuckled and gave the boys chubby cheeks a soft pat before zipping back to the door frame.

the pat while gentle, was unexpected and Billy yelped and a little trickle of pee came out, something Barry missed but the now hard wood floor of Billy's room could handle it.

"Finish getting dressed buddy and I'll get this cleaned up in-"

"Don't say it!" Billy groaned rolled his eyes.

"A flash!" Barry said, zipping off as Billy snatched a pair of daytime diapers out.

'He's so corny sometimes.' Billy thought.

Dressed in a red t-shirt and a baggy pair of black shorts that did a good job of hiding the bulk of his padding (there there was a tell tale crinkle for those listening for it) he made his way to the dinning room and grinned ear to ear as the table was loaded with chocolate pancakes, blue berry waffles, fried eggs, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages and a pitcher of chocolate milk and a pitcher of orange juice.

with how fast Barry's metabolism was he was always making big meals and was part of the reason Billy had put on some much needed wait, but even so, this was above and beyond.

with drool trailing down his chin he grabbed a plate and looked over the feast, almost at a lost of where to begin.

"heh, Did daddy do good or did daddy do good?" Barry asked, zipping into the room.

"This. Is. Awesome!" Billy squealed. "Was this all you or did Iris help too?" Billy asked.

"She's out of town on a assignment for a news papers, she's sorry she's gonna miss the party." Barry said, looking sorry.

"Well it's ok." Billy said, starting to load up his plate, a impish grin coming across his face. "we can just have anther party with more cake when she gets back. It'll be hard having all that sugar and getting double presents, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make." he said, topping off his plate and plopping his butt onto his special chair.

with his bulky diapers and the fact he leaked sometimes, Barry had gotten him a dinner chair with sides coming up to the middle of his tummy so Billy wouldn't lose balance and fall off, and it had a plastic cover for a easier clean up instead of the stained oak that the rest of the chairs had.

Naturally Billy had been least then pleased at the fact he had a toddler chair but after falling off of the other chairs three times he'd finally bit the bullet.

"Oh, your willing to have two party's huh? truly, your a saint among men. We'll see what happens." Barry said, coming over and getting his own plate while taking a second to mentally gush at just how adorable Billy looked, his legs kicking under the table as he scooped food in his mouth like he hadn't eaten in a month. "Heh, wow, and I thought I was fast..slow down before you choke buddy."

Billy as normal, took that warning as a challenge and sped up.

After 4 helpings Billy just sat back in his chair, burping softly and groaning as he put a hand to his belly, not even offering a fight as Barry came over with a cloth to wipe his face and hands.

"Did somebody maybe eat more then he should of?" Barry asked sweetly, as he helped the groaning boy out of the chair, and after a second picked him up, setting him on his hip and patting his back.

Billy's reply was a loud blench and Barry winced, glad he'd had the foresight to get Billy's head over his shoulder.

"well put. any follow ups?" Barry chuckled, and kept patting, this wasn't Billy's first semi food coma and he doubted it would be the little thunder champions last.

Billy went to open his mouth to say something then a loud booming fart blasted out of his bottom and for a split second Barry wondered if his arm would of been burnt if not for the padding.

"I-I didn't..I.." Billy whimpered and buried his head into Barry's shoulder and Barry could feel the heat from the boys face.

"Hey..hey..it's ok. fart's happen. besides you've gone uh-oh in my lap so this is hardly worse." Barry said, tilting his head and giving the poor blushing little guy a smooch on the head.

"N-Not helping!" Billy whined.

"Ok ok, I'll drop it.. here let's get you sat down and watching some carto-" Barry started to say but anther thunder poot from the champion of lighting cut him off.

"gawd! that stinks!" Billy whined.

"...Or Maybe you wanna go and sit on the potty." Barry said trying to be nice, but the boy wasn't wrong.

"I know when I have to go poop Barry!" Billy huffed and two more loud farts came out and the boy switched from huffy to shocked. "..and that would be right now. Potty daddy!"

Any other daddy wouldn't of stood a chance in the world, But Barry Allen didn't call him the fastest man alive for nothing, but even then it was a close call as he barley got Billy's shorts and diaper down and got him on the toilet before the boy started to unleash hell.

Knowing how Billy valued some privacy, Barry left almost as quick as he'd gotten him in there, though not before bringing a few room freshers into the bathroom and opening a window.

'don't want him to pass out form his own stink.. man..I wonder if there's anther god powering.. skunkculues, champion of stink.' Barry mused as he waited outside the bathroom door just in case he was needed.

Billy groaned as he hunched over and pounded a fist on the sink's counter, wondering if maybe he had a natural power over lava because that's what this felt like as he made use of the potty.

His own stink was assaulting his nose though thankfully daddy had set it up so it would be as bad, though he still ended up having to flush a couple of times just to help with the smell.

Sweating, Panting and feeling drained, he barley had it in him to wipe himself when it was all said and done, and swore he'd never cram that much food into his tummy again all at once.

(of course since he swore that once every three or so days the oath may of fallen on deaf ear.)

which his cheeks wiped, Billy went to stand up on shaky legs and plopped back down, then noticed the shart stains in the back of the diaper and signed.

"Dadddd..IUh...I need help." he called out. huffing and slumping, elbows on his knees and waiting.

when the door opened up and his cousin/cool bro via adoption opened the door Billy yelped and in vain tried to cover up the diaper around his ankles.

4 minutes earlier...

Wally who had retired from the superhero game while going to collage and trying to be a CSI like Barry, had surprised Barry by showing up for the party.

"Wally! good to see you!" Barry had said, shaking the younger mans hand, but then, ever the good daddy/uncle had narrowed his eyes. "Aren't you suppose to be in class right now?"

"The professor for the only class I had today had a family emergency, so the class was called off, and I was gonna try and make it anyways." Wally said, keeping his voice down and Barry picked up on it and kept his down as well.

"Ah, a birthday surprise for Billy." Barry said and smirked. "you know he thinks the world of you right?"

"I might of picked up on that. hence why I pretend not to notice his little problem." Wally chuckled and ran a hand though his orange hair. "you'd think he would of linked how Aunt Iris doesn't do bum checks when I'm around with it buttt.."

"Heh, Well he see's what he wants to see. He's on the potty right now though so maybe if you hi-" Barry started to say when his com beeped.

it wasn't his JL com, but the one he'd given the Meta human crimes department for central and Keystone city, being the hero of the twin cities.

dashing over he answered it, and frowned, then dashed back to Wally but even as he did he was in costume.

"I hate to do this, but Weather wizard and Captain cold are causing heck in Keystone. could you stay with Billy? he might need a little help." Barry said and gestured his head to the bathroom.

"Of course. Listen, if you need any back up.. I might not have my costume, but after Billy gets out.."

"Hey, I'll handle it. I'll be back.."

"in a flash. I know I know." Wally groaned, having the same opinion as Billy about the phase.

Barry just smirked like it was the worlds greatest dad joke and took off.

"W-Wally!? Get out! I-" Billy was whining and had actual tears welling up in his eyes, making Wally just wanna hug him.

"Billy, Billy listen to me, Barry had to go and fight the rouges, I came here for your party..and I've know about your diapers since Barry adopted you." Wally said, cutting right to the chase.

"..No you haven't! I was super careful and someone as cool and awesome as you wouldn't wanna hang out with a diaper wetting baby!" Billy whined, in denial even as Wally sighed and shook his head.

"Really Billy? I'm training to be a CSI, so I'm learning to notice little things, I move at super speed, not as fast as Barry but still, and you crinkle lots." Wally listed off on his hand, raising fingers, then giving Billy a hurt look. "Also, you think SO little of me I wouldn't wanna hang out with a awesome and cool little guy like you just because you have accidents?"

"But..I.." Billy whimpered and sniffled, and went to wipe at his tears with his arm but Wally was there, with a wad of tissue.

"Hey, it's ok Billy. Truth be told, I wet the bed for 3 years after getting my powers. But My Parents weren't as nice and Uncle Barry and aunt Iris. they were the ones who looked after me like they're looking after you now. so no more tears alright? let's get you dressed and then we can play some video games." Wally said, and ruffled the boys hair.

Billy gave him a smile and then hugged Wally's waist, and the 19 year old almost melted and patting his head.

Tossing the dirty diaper, Wally got Billy in a clean over night diaper, and added powder, though Billy whined a little he was pacified by Wally saying he thought those looked cooler.

Going off of that logic Billy when offered a pair of baggy pants to go over the thicker diaper went all shy.

"uh. well..I mean.. if you wanna see this diaper because it's cuter.. and we're not going out anywhere.." Billy said, squirming and shifting all around.

"..I do think it's cuter, and Barry said he'd call if he needed us. Uh.. " wally trailed off and then blushed himself, and put a hand behind his head. "I have ONE question that's been bugging me."

"heh, what is it?" Billy said, holding up his arms for the older boy to pick him up.

"when you change.. do you have to take the diapers off first or..how does that work?!" Wally asked, picking him up and gushing as Billy cuddled in.

"heh, Nah, the big guy isn't padded, and as to how that works.." Billy paused and let wally hold his weight as he spread his hands, wiggling his fingers.

"Maggggggic~"

Wally snorted and smirked.

"your such a dork sometimes you know that?" he asked playfully, carrying Billy at normal speed down the stairs.

"Pffft please, I've seen you marking out over dad's cases when going over them with him, and not his stuff as flash, but as Barry Allen,CSI."Billy teased back.

Wally huffed and blushed himself and then smirked.

"You're lucky your cute or I'd super speed your butt to central park right now."

"heh, you wouldn't do that, A) because I'd say the word and leave, B) because Dad would kick you butt and C).." Billy said and tapped Wally's chest as he listed off his points. "You'd made me cry and hate yourself for it~"

"..Dang, guilty as charged."

Getting into the living room, Wally sat Billy on the couch and then went to look though the selection of games they had for two player.

"Super monkey fury 5 good for you?" He asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Um..whatever YOU think is a cool game!" Billy said, and gave a big grin.

he might of been 14 but in his diaper and t-shirt, and all eager to please his 'big bro' figure, he looked like a toddler.

"Heh, it's YOUR special day Billy, whatever YOU wanna play we'll play it." wally chuckled.

"W-Wellll.. Dad doesn't let me play Duty calls a lot because it's so violent.." Billy said, poking two fingers together.

"..I think Barry will understand." Wally smirked and put the game in, coming over with controllers for both of them.

As Wally sat down he was surprised as Billy moved from his spot next to him to sitting in his lap.

"heh,What are y-"

"it's MY Special day right?" Billy asked, flashing his imp smirk. "So I can sit anywhere I want.. rightttt?"

"heh. of course."

Barry hated how long it took him to deal with the rouges, they had gotten reinforcements from mirror master so it took longer then he would of liked to finish up, plus then he had to deal with the police over and handle the press, all part of keeping up the hero image and while any other day it wouldn't of irk'ed him, knowing he was missing out on Billy's big day, he was short tempered

he had almost snapped at Detective Morro, a long time friend on the force in both identities but caught himself.

"you ok Flash?" his friend asked.

"I..I'm missing out on my kid's birthday party for this." Barry admitted.

"heh, didn't know you HAD a kid. go on, get." the heavy set cigar chomping hard ass said. "We'll try to manage without you for the rest of the day...Oh, tell yer kid happy birthday."

"heh, Will do!" Barry said and after a trademark flash salute, was off and running.

Getting back to the house Barry found Billy in Wally lap and whining a little, sucking his thumb and a kiddy cartoon was on the TV, much younger then Billy usually liked to watch.

"Hey guys, I'm back, whats going on?" Barry asked.

"Oh well see, I was a jerk and tried to make Billy play a game I like an-" Wally started to speak up but a whimpering Billy cut him off.

"Noo! it was me! I made Wally play duty call's with me and it was way more awful then I thought and I know I've done worse as you know who but but..I dunno and I started to cry and and-" Billy whined and whimpered.

"..Billy when your Shazam you have the wisdom of Solomon that let's you work out why you have to do the things you do. not so much as yourself. that's why I didn't want you playing that, you're not in trouble, either of you but I think we're gonna keep it to cartoons or silly games for the day." Barry said, coming over and as Wally hugged the whining Billy in his lap, Barry did too and Billy sniffled and smiled.

"Kay"

with Billy calmed down, they sat down for a few episodes of different baby shows, with billy giggling and clapping alone even if Wally and Barry were bored out of their skulls. trying to break it up they pulled out a few board games but after having to watch Billy do his 'i won you lost' diaper booty shake 4 times in a row (which admittedly was pretty cute with his diaper butt on display) they switched from candy land to clue, where Wally won 2 out of the 4 games.

Barry technically could of won the other two but played bad on purpose for the last game where billy was getting all huffy.

After that they played pay day and once again were subjected to Billy's singing about how awesome he was and how much they sucked, while wiggling his padded rear in their faces but compared to the sulky silence that losing brought, Barry and wally put up with it.

Or at least they tried to till in the middle of shaking his butt in both their faces Billy froze and then let out a muffled poot.

"Really Billy?" Barry asked, waving his left hand at super speed to blow the smell away.

"I-I didn't mean to.d-do that! I'm Sorry!" Billy squeaked and turned around, blushing and starting to tear up. "P-Please don't ha-"

Before Billy could finish his thought, Wally and Barry were on either side of Billy, hugging him.

"Hey, hey, It's alright, Fart's happen." Wally was saying, rubbing and patting Billy's back.

"And I'm 90 percent sure you wouldn't fart on me after winning a game. Now if you lost.." Barry said and winked, patting billy's bum.

"D-Daddy!"

"Hmmm, Feels like it was just a fart, do you wanna sit on the potty just to be sure buddy?" Barry asked.

"Daddy, I know when I have to po-" Billy started and let out a long fart, one eye half closing and a leg coming up. the fart went from a normal sounding if massive one to wet and muddy, then Billy's leg came down and he was popping a squat.

Of course either Wally or Barry could of gotten him to the bathroom, but honestly, they had both agreed wordlessly to just let him fill his diapers.

"D-Daddy I'm Pooping!" Billy whined, as if Wally or Billy couldn't of told, and they just hugged him tighter and went double time with the bum and back pats as he whimpered and put his face in either shoulder, bearing down and finishing up even as whimpers of 'stinky' came out of his mouth.

As the diaper drooped in the back and Billy finished up, he sniffled a few times then pulled back.

"D-Daddy..Wally..Diapie change?" He asked in a voice that made him sound like a toddler.

"Of course buddy. I'll have you clean i-" Barry started to say but Wally moved his hand over and closed Barry's lips.

"I'll change him it means I don't have to hear that pun again." Wally said and winked to Billy even as Barry's eyes went wide from shock then a little glare.

Billy meanwhile was giggling like crazy and hands coming up his mouth to try and hide it.

Barry got Wally's fingers off his lips and smirked.

"oh, you think that's funny little man?" Barry asked, looking to wally and giving a evil smirk.

"I mean.. Kinda.. sowwy.." Billy said.

"Oh come on Barry, it WAS funny." Wally said and smirked.

"..Not as funny as this is gonna be." Barry said and Wally saw what was going to happen but could never beat Barry's speed, so was too slow to stop what happened next.

His hand moving at a blur, Barry smushed and squished the mess in the diaper around, making sure the boom boom went EVERY where as Billy's mouth formed a O and Wally groaned.

Zipping up to his feet Barry smirked.

"Have fun cleaning that up.. Oh and you can't use speed speed for cleaning up a poopie diaper, it'll hurt billy's bum." Barry said and went off to go and start working on lunch.

"wait what?!"Wally yelped.

"I..Poopie all over..I.." Billy was mumbling, looking out of it, and swaying back and forth on his feet, too out of it for Wally to ask if that was really a thing.

"DICK MOVE BARRY!" Wally yelled, then cradled Billy, the smell was even worst now and Wally gulped, wondering if he was strong enough to do this.

Billy mewed softly and wrapped his arms around Wally's neck and nuzzled his head into Wally's chest.

"I Sowwy. I stinky." Billy mewed, eyes semi glazed over.

Looking at how much Billy needed him, Wally found the will power needed and dashed billy off to the bathroom, though he did a slight detour to get a clothespin for his nose.

'maybe it won't be as bad as I think.' Wally thought, getting Billy on his back on a towel in the bathroom, sliding the little guys thumb into his mouth and gushing at how cute he looked.

opening the diaper, Wally realized it wasn't as bad as he thought.

it was worse, much much much.

Wally wasn't a stranger to changing diapers, as big of a family as he had and baby sitting jobs but this was the record for longest and grossest he'd ever handled.

going though a whole freshly opened box of wipes, he got it done, going at normal speed and taking time to comfort billy and talk softly to him.

it took the better part of 15 minutes, and then just to be safe Wally gave Billy a quick bath, semi worried as Billy had apparently slipped into a baby mode of sorts and was playing with some rubber duckies while Wally washed him, at one point offering one of the duckies he had been chewing on to wally.

"Uh..No thanks. you keep chewing." Wally said with a sweat drop.

Billy just giggled and nodded, noming on his ducky and letting wally wash him, only fussing when his hair was being washed, though thankfully Barry had gotten no more tears shampoo.

with Billy washed up all nice and clean, Wally got him dried off with a big fluffy towel and was walking him back toward his room to get him dressed when Barry cut him off, holding one of the presents under one arm.

"Thought I heard the tub running.Lunch is ready downstairs, I'll get the birthday boy dressed. go get something to eat." Barry said.

"Heh, Sure, now that I've handed all the smelly stuff you wanna tag in." Wally teased, and Billy giggled.

"What can I say, Perks of being a daddy and honorary uncle." Barry said.

Wally just shook his head and headed down the step while Billy toddled along side Barry, wrapped up in the towel and then just laid back his bed, willing to let Barry do all the work.

"heh, your being pretty cute kiddo. maybe you should poop your pants more often." Barry teased, tickling billy's tummy and getting a fit of giggles out of him.

Deciding with how little Billy was acting and the bigger accidents he was have, Barry got billy into a daytime diaper but cut slit in the front of back of it first, while Billy watched with a confused look and a finger on his bottom lip.

"Ummm daddy, what cha doing? I'm leak all over now." Billy pointed out.

"Well, if that was your only diapie you would, but daddy figures since we're not going out and you're having lots of accident's.." Barry said and pulled out the bulky bed time diaper.

"Sheesh, I'll be waddling like a toddler with both of these on!" Billy said and stuck out his tongue.

"I know! I don't know why i didn't think of this sooner!" Barry gushed and got a raspberry from billy.

with the bulky diaper taped up over the thinner one, Barry helped billy stand up and gushed and coo'ed at how Billy's legs were forced apart.

"Sheesh, One more and I think I'd be stuck crawling!" Billy said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Don't temp me." Barry said then handed Billy the present. "Here, open this up, it's from Iris and I thought it might be useful right now."

Warning bell's were going off in Billy's head as he took the present and he had to suppress a groan, it was a flash themed diaper shirt.

"Well what do you think? Iris noticed that your diaper sag a lot when you got pants-less and this will help! Heck, might even get you a few of theses if it works out. but for now,you can be the fastest pamper butt alive!" Barry asked.

"..I think I'll save it special occasions." Billy tried and Barry just laughed.

"Silly boy, this is your birthday, that IS special, here, I'll help you get it on." Barry said taking the diaper shirt from Billy and dashing around the boy. in seconds he was snugly fit in the diaper shirt.

Despite how humiliating it was to need the shirt for his saggy diapers, Billy had to admit it felt right, even if his bulky diapers semi showed.

"Soooo?" Barry asked.

"..I could get used to it. " he said and started to head for the door, realizing just HOW bad his waddling was now as Barry squealed behind him. "..I'll calling it in. carry me."

Billy sighed then giggled, holding his arms out.

"Well if I HAVE to." Barry laughed, coming over and picking up Billy and heading for the dinner table.

So far the day had been fun and cute, and it was only gonna get better.

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havethetimeofyourstyles · 4 years

Text

part two is here! enjoy <3

wc: 3.8k

taglist | story masterlist

WARNINGS: mentions of death, anxiety, angst

part one

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

Day two of the anniversary trip, and it’s the first full day.

Dan and Lina had planned for everyone to enjoy the water and sun while they made lunch. You and Minny were sitting on the lawn chairs while Harry laid a towel out on the shore, laying on his stomach to get a tan in. Meanwhile, Jackson was floating in the water, letting the cool water relax him. It was a nice and peaceful day, you would say. The sun doing her thing as it shines, giving everyone some good ole Vitamin D. The sky was bright and blue, and you were thinking that it’ll be so hard to leave it.

You were wearing a flowy and floral dress while your black two-piece bikini was under it, and you had sunglasses on your face. With packing so late, you weren’t really sure what you brought since you practically threw everything in your luggage.

“I’m going in for a dip.” Minny says, and she gets up and strips her dress and walks over to the water. As she walks away, you admire your best friend’s body and you can’t help but think how envious you are of her. Growing up with her, you had always compared yourself to her because relatively, you thought she was prettier than you. She had always dated throughout school while you barely could get a guy to ask you to officially be his girlfriend. It was definitely a struggle for you, but that is up until you met Harry.

You felt so loved and cared for when you were together; the ultimate power couple, you would always say, and he would agree. You wanted everything with him. But your dreams ripped from your hands the night he left.

“Fruit, my dear?” Lina comes from right next to you and offers you a fruit bowl of strawberries, berries, and pineapples.

“Thank, Lina.” You say as you take the bowl from her hands, and she walks over to Harry and offers him one. You see him pert up from his lying position and take it as well before he gets up fully and starts walking towards the house, towards you.

“Mind if I sit here?” You shake your head and he takes a seat. It was silent with you two for a few minutes, but you figured, what’s new at this point with him. It’s always silent and awkward and you’re wondering if it’ll always be like this, or if you’ll actually be friends with him because afterall, you had mutual friends, practically family.

But you knew that you were the only one stopping from the two of you from having a genuine friendship again, but it was hard enough to be around him, let alone be friends with him.

“How’s your mom?” You ask, breaking the silence as you both chew down the delicious fruit.

“She’s doing good, yeah. Misses you.” Harry hesitates on the last part, not knowing if he was pushing it.

“I’m excited to see her this week. Gem as well.” You say honestly. You really had missed his family. Apart from your own and Minny’s family, Harry has been the third family you can go to, and talk to them like they’re your own. You had been pretty close with Gemma and Anne; always hanging out even without Harry, and you thought that was the best friendship; to have a relationship outside of your romantic one.

“And yours? How is your mom? I miss her.”

“She misses you too, but she’s okay, hanging in there. She wanted to come to this trip so badly, but her friend Lindsey, already booked the cruise and couldn’t get a refund so she had to go.”

“The yearly cruise for…” Harry trailed off.

“Yeah.”

Your mom had taken a trip with your dad every year around this time, and it usually involved a cruise with their friends. Around this time 35 years ago, they had gotten together as a couple, so they always celebrate it. Ever since you and Minny met, your parents would call it ‘vacation month’ because they would go on a trip on their own, and then Lina and Dan would have their anniversary trip too, so it was a double vacation for them.

“Here, let me get these out of the way.” Harry says as he stands up, collecting his and your bowls before going inside to wash them.

You sit there, watching Minny and Jackson splash each other with water violently, left alone in your thoughts, and it seems like you’ve always been thinking way too hard.

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

Day three and four had consisted of going out for a boat ride.

It was actually really fun. Dan was driving the boat while Harry and Jackson decided to go wakeboarding, and it ended up with Jackson wiping out pretty badly and Harry raising his arms up like it was a competition.

“Ha! I won!” Harry says as the boys were getting back on the boat.

“It wasn’t a competition, asshole.” Minny says and rolls her eyes, helping Jackson safely get on the boat.

“Well, where’s the fun in that?” Harry pouts. Jackson sits down, still trying to catch his breath, and Harry sits next to him, putting an arm around his shoulder.

You take a seat next to Jackson and pat his leg. “Are you good, Jack?” You say softly, so softly that Harry barely heard anything. You wanted to be as soft because the wipe out was pretty bad, and he could’ve seriously gotten hurt. But luckily, he was just winded and nothing else.

“Yeah, thanks.” Jackson pats your legs back and smiles.

You two were talking about how he got wiped out, and Jackson started explaining what had happened up until the moment he felt his grip let go of the handle because he blanked out after that.

To the two of you, it was an innocent interaction between two friends, that are practically siblings, looking out for one another. But to the outside, meaning Harry who was the only one paying attention to you, he felt jealousy boil through his veins by how you’re looking at Jackson and being all secretive and soft with him. Talking to him so no one can hear you. His eyes turned dark, but you were too busy to notice, all your attention was on Jackson, so he got up and sat on the other side of the boat, turning away from you both.

Dan steered the boat back to the dock as the sun was setting, so everyone could wash up and enjoy a relaxing dinner.

You had a lot of fun. Just being by the water and on a boat with your favorite people was all you could really ask for. In times like these, you needed a reminder to surround yourself with the people you love, and you’re grateful it’s the people that are present with you at the moment.

After the sky was getting darker, you all gathered around the table again to eat dinner. Minny made her famous lasagna and Lina baked garlic bread that no one could get enough of; it’s just that delicious.

The seating arrangements were the same, and you were slowly getting comfortable with Harry being there. You weren’t sure if that was a good or bad thing, considering you were still iffy about him. But it didn’t stop you from being scared because you’re starting to get comfortable. You really wanted to let your guard down again, but anxiety runs through your head thinking he’ll break your heart again, even if you’re just friends with him.

Harry wants nothing more than for you to be in his life again. He’d missed you to the fullest, and he’s bummed out that he can’t hug you whenever he wants. But although he was still a little annoyed with the moment you and Jackson had earlier (obviously not knowing what you two were talking about), he was glad you haven’t pushed him away just yet. Maybe after all, you’ll get along nicely with him after the trip.

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

Day five was the day Gemma and Anne were coming, and you couldn’t be more excited.

You had missed them dearly, and you couldn’t wait to catch up with them. You couldn’t recall the last time you hung out with them; probably when you and Harry were still together. Although, they had told you to call them if you needed anything, even after you and Harry parted ways, you still thought it was a bit awkward to find comfort in your ex’s family. There were tiny conversations that happened on text, but nothing major where you called to see them in person.

The night before, Lina had confirmed with Harry during dinner that Anne and Gems were coming and he confirmed yes, and that they were coming in the morning. The confirmation had sent your body into nerves but excitement. It’s been so long, and you were counting down the hours where you were reunited with them.

Waking up was easy for you. You woke up at 6 a.m, not exactly sure when they were arriving, but you wanted to prepare breakfast for them when they were coming so they could refuel from the long trip.

You prepared enough food for the whole group. Instead of a charcuterie board, you made a breakfast board. Mini pancakes were spread around a jar of syrup, bacon placed in the corner, scrambled eggs right next to the folded ham, sausage links in the middle, and various fruits spread across the board, adding a perfect color to your presentation.

By the time you were finished, it was hitting 8 a.m, and you were glad that you hadn't woken anyone up. The silence helped and it didn’t overwhelm your social level. Being on a trip for one week out of two had left you going to bed with anxiety because of how overwhelmed you sometimes get.

You spoke too soon as you see Harry putting on a shirt as he walked down the stairs. You get a peek of his tanned and tattooed torso, and you turn your flustered face away from him, wondering why you’re getting hot when you’ve seen him shirtless countless of times and many times on the trip.

“It’s dangerous to put on a shirt when you’re going down the stairs.” You say and he tiredly smiles. His morning smile made your stomach do backflips.

“Well, I’m sorry. I’ll try to be careful next time. Was just in a hurry because I heard you in the kitchen and knew you were making breakfast.”

“How’d you know it was me?” You tilt your head.

“Cause Gem and Mom are coming. You always go all out when they visit.” That was very true. You sometimes go way out of hand with decorations if there was a party or cook more food than usual when they visit. It wasn’t like you were trying to kiss their ass and impress them, you just didn’t want to have to worry about anything. They were your family and you wanted to just take care of them like what a family does. “You couldn’t contain your excitement last night when I confirmed they were coming.” Busted.

“Checking me out, Styles?” You tease.

“Oh, you’d know.” An amused smirk fell onto his face, and you couldn’t help but blush, and also roll your eyes to contain your blush. “Excited to see them?” He changes the subject.

“Super excited. Haven’t seen them in-” The knock on the door interrupted you, but you could care less because they were finally here. You took off your apron and Harry best you to the door, figuring you would just stay in the kitchen until he was done with his greetings.

“Alright, where is she?” You hear Anne say and you smile so big that you might actually cry. You walk out of the kitchen and towards the yellow door. “Oh, there you are, sweetheart! Come here.” Anne greets you with open arms and a big hug. A hug you have missed and was deprived from.

“Hey, you!” Gemma says once you’ve let go of Anne, and gives the same hug.

“I’ve missed you both so much.”

“Us as well, my love.” Anne kisses your cheeks, and in this moment, you could have possibly regretted not hanging out with them after the breakup. And you’re so incredibly happy that they’re on this trip, even if it’s just for 3 days.

Harry takes in the sight of seeing his ex and his family get along so well. It’s a sight that can possibly make him cry. No one he’s ever dated had got along so well, that they’re practically family, better than you. You’ve always been the one. Always.

Everyone eventually woke up once they heard commotion that was coming from the lower level, and excitedly said their hellos and greeted them with hugs. The group thanked you for the beautiful and delicious breakfast, and you smiled, knowing everyone was happy and full.

“Hey.” Gemma sneaked up on Harry as he was standing outside under the hot sun.

“Hi, Gems.”

“You okay?” She asks in a concerning tone.

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“I mean you’ve been here a week and not to mention, with your ex girlfriend.” Gemma gets straight to the point. She was worried for her baby brother. He’s gotten hurt plenty in the past, and although she knows that the situation with you is practically his fault, she hates seeing him confused and down.

“It’s fine, honestly. It doesn’t seem like she hates me that bad right now, so it’s all good.” He says honestly.

“You two okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Gemma nods, leaving him to think to himself in silence.

The rest of the day was peaceful as Anne had a deep catch up with Lina about what’s been going on. Gemma, Harry, and Jackson went for a swim as you and Minny sat back talking about everything and anything.

The day had gone by smoothly and too fast for your liking as it was already nighttime and the whole group gathered around the fire pit on the patio. Blankets were draped around everyone’s legs as they watched the flames of the fire grow bigger.

“This was probably my favorite day.” Dan says, breaking the silence from everyone’s thoughts. Everyone agrees.

“All we’re missing is your family, love.” Lina says to you, and you only nod in agreement. “Your mom is missing and your father is dearly missed by all of us.”

You don’t say anything, not like you want to. Your father had passed away almost a year ago from a car accident, and things haven’t been the same since. It was so sudden that obviously no one had expected it, and it shook everyone’s worlds. Things had definitely been hard for you and your mother. All you wanted was for her to be here with you, with everyone. But she was on a cruise with her friends, probably wanting to be with you as well.

No one had said anything and it was quiet. Everyone was thinking about their own memories they had with your father, and reminiscing on the good times.

“I always remembered when you guys would come over on Fridays,” Dan starts, “you and Minny were at school, and we would agree to pick you up all together, and then come back and have dinner. But Lina and her were always so deep in conversation that they would lose track of time. And we would always hear Jenny saying ‘go get the kids from school!’” Everyone smiled and some laughed, knowing it was a very Jenny thing to do. “Your father wouldn’t complain though; always so calm and always played his guitar. Rightful pro, I would say.” You nodded your head in agreement and smiled softly as tears have made their way known.

The crackles of the fire were the only thing that was heard between the circle of your family. The silence and stories about your family had gotten to you, and your tears made its way down your face. No one noticed as you wiped them away. But any second, you’re going to burst into sobs and that’ll just be embarrassing, so you get up and walk inside, not telling anyone that you were leaving. You walk towards the kitchen, in case you needed an excuse as to why you left.

“Hey, hey, hey. Why are you crying?” Harry says as he enters the kitchen.

“I’m not.” You deny instantly and your hand wipes away your tears quickly. You grab a cup and fill it up with water.

“Come on, talk to me.” You take a deep breath and a sip of water before admitting your feelings.

“I’m just feeling lonely.” You mumble low enough, hoping Harry wouldn’t hear, but he did.

“Lonely? How so?”

“I mean, I’m the one here alone.”

“No you’re not. You have Minny’s family and my family’s here as well, so you’re definitely not alone.” He tries to lighten up the situation.

“Yeah, but where is my family? I’m the only one here who doesn’t have my family with me. You all are surrounded by people who love you and no one-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. You are loved by so many. You have Minny, her family, my family, me.”

“Oh, really? You?” It was like your sadness had subsided with anger in seconds, and Harry is clueless as to what is coming for him.

“Yes, me. Why wouldn’t I be here for you?” Harry’s brows furrowed and his mind was confused as to why your mood had switched up so quickly.

“Because you left me!” You blurt out. “You left me out in the cold, so don’t tell me you’re here for me when you weren’t a year ago. And now I’m fucking lonely!” More tears had slid down your face, and you couldn’t control it.

“Stop. Please. I can’t handle your hatred towards me.” He looks down in guilt and tries to reach for your hand.

“Yeah, well, you should’ve thought about that a year ago.” You push him away and back away from him.

“You can’t possibly hold what I did a year ago against me.”

“Oh, but I am. It doesn’t go away that quickly.” You say sarcastically, knowing Harry hates your sarcastic voice.

“Okay, I get it, yeah. But you’re here to have fun, alright? You’ve been sitting everywhere, wallowing in your own thoughts instead of trying to move on. Stop holding grudges for once! You’re at a place where you're surrounded by nature, something you admire, and you can’t even take a moment to look up and appreciate what’s right in front of you?” You know he’s right. Everyone with two eyes and ears knows he’s right. You’ve been so angry for so long that you want to move on, but it’s hard to. “Please. We only have a week left, so please, just stop hating me for the rest of this trip, and let’s just have some fun?”

You sigh, shaking your head a little, completely baffled by what he’s saying. For a minute you do take it into consideration, wanting to let go of the stress and anger that has been holding you back from truly enjoying yourself.

“Please. Let go of whatever anger you have of me and let’s have a good time here? For the remainder of the trip, let’s be friends, and you can decide if you still want me to be a part of your life after we leave here. It’s been a while since we’ve had some fun.” He says like he’s reading your mind. You’re also not sure if his last statement was meant to also be sexual, but you try not to overthink it.

You needed to let go, you easily knew that. Everyone knew that, so you answer him, hoping you won’t regret your answer.

“Okay.” You say with a sigh, finally giving him his wish.

“Yeah?” He smiles, and you nod. In a second, he’s wrapping his arms around you and spinning you. You yelp as you swing your legs, telling him to put you down, and he obeys. He looks at you like he wants to say something, but instead he engulfs you in a hug again without lifting you off the ground. “Thank you.” He says softly in your ear, and you nearly have shivers down your spine, honestly missing his voice in your ear; for only you to hear.

“Everything okay here?” Anne pops out of nowhere, and you and Harry separate from the hug, to which he frowned at.

“Yup. Everything is good, mom.” Anne looks at you, making sure if he was telling the truth, and you nod. She smiles and grabs a cup of water, and Harry feels a bit awkward, so he smiles in your direction and you smile back before he leaves the kitchen, and gets back to the patio.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” You say. Anne shows off her loving and contagious smile that you’ve loved the day you first met her.

“Me too, sweetheart. Too bad we can’t stay for the remainder of the trip.” She pours slightly, resembling the same pout Harry has. It’s something you’ve always noticed, and it makes you so much more fond of her.

“We can always plan another one. One in advance so everyone has time to take off from work.” She agreed quickly, and you both discussed some locations; talking about what certain ones are known for and when the best time to go.

You’ve truly missed talks with Anne. She kept you so entertained by making jokes and rambling on different and random things. She was good at comforting, making you laugh if you needed it.

“Sweetheart,” she says, once the traveling subject had died down, “I just want to say I’m proud of you. You’ve been so strong for the entirety of our friendship, and I admire that about you.” She places her hand on top of yours that is resting on the granite countertop.

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

“And just know that so many people love you. No matter what your situation is with my son, I will always love you like you’re my own. I really cherish our friendship.” A new set of tears have come to your attention, and you close your eyes, trying to calm yourself down.

Anne takes your silence as an appreciative agreement, one where you don’t have to say words because you ultimately do agree. She steps forward and pulls you in for a hug. It’s one that you needed in times like these. Times where you were really having a rough day or week, missing your dad, and needing a warm hug from a parent. One that understands you and is always reminding you that they’re there for you. A hug that takes all your worries and insecurities away even if it’s just for a quick second. And you feel all of her love pouring into your heart as she embraces you because all you really needed was a hug.

As she holds you tight, you’re reminded that you are so loved.

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