#because there is NOTHING ELSE in other media apparently

[vivelareine]

I’m really sorry that people jump to conclusions about you being a royalist. You seem to be quite nice and your posts are informative.

And it’s true that clergy and aristocracy at large benefitted from the rigged system. Also apparently the economy was already screwed up before, but Frev just had this specific set of precursor circumstances that lit up the powder keg, which was going to blow up eventually.

There is definitely a discussion to be had about all the nuances here, as Frev is a complicated subject.

Thank you! People can be... something, that's for certain.

I love nuanced discussions! I think they're especially fascinating when it comes to this era.

Like I love the fact that we can discuss how Marie Antoinette was personally charitable and kind, but that her personal charity and kindness existed in this almost incomprehensible vacuum of extreme wealth vs poverty.

To use an example I talked about on Twitter, there was an assistant gardener for the hameau de la reine who became ill shortly after being hired, and Marie Antoinette ended up spending almost 2000 livres (a hefty sum--the annual salary of the head gardener was considered a respectable 1500 livres per year, with room and board) on his medical care alone. When it became clear he would not regain his health, she paid for him to return home to England, with a large sum so he could set himself up somewhere.

This assistant gardener's annual salary, had he stayed to work at Versailles? 50 livres, which did include room and board, but still, 50 livres per year.

Now to take an EXTREME example, the infamous bracelets that Marie Antoinette purchased and her mother harassed her over cost 250,000 liveres. It would take 5000 years of this assistant gardener's salary to buy a pair of bracelets that she purchased on a whim. (Now this is an EXTREME example, because everyone considered these bracelets horrendously expensive and extravagant, and it was purchased during her short yet very significant 'wilder' days.)

So it's this fascinating contrast of, her being personally kind and thinking nothing of making sure he had medical care and personally seeing to it that he's not just kicked out of France with nothing and no way to live... and realizing that this personal kindness and compassion existed within this system of massive inequality.

It reminds me of the scene in Ever After (listen I will use any excuse to bring the movie up) where Danielle-in-disguise, after the prince frees the servant from the cart taking them to be indentured servants until they die: "You gave one man back his life, but did you even glance at the others?"

And not in the sense that I think Marie Antoinette would have been like "free this one man!" and ignored everyone else, but the sense that she gave charity, compassion, cared for others, paid for the upkeep of various families and watched over their children's well-being etc etc on a personal level... but she did not comprehend the need for systematic change outside of that very limited scope.

Re; Nuance...

Nuance gets lost a lot, on both sides.

IMO, I don't think people should expect to be taken seriously when talking about history if they are either huffing and puffing about Marie Antoinette being a bitch tyrant who got what she deserved, or if they're wringing their hands and saying Louis was perfect and the revolutionaries were devil worshipers who are burning in hell for daring to revolt.

(And like, I GET... if you just glance at my blog, you might go, oh wow, this person is really Marie Antoinette themed. Must be one of those people who thinks her life was the Sofia Coppola movie. But if you think that and you haven't bothered to read my blog or any of my social media, don't come up at me with some random BS like that and expect to be taken seriously. It's basic common sense and respect.)

[diseaseriddencube]

i was wondering why people were making it out to be such a huge thing that alastor is aroace canonically....and then i tried to think of literally any other character i've seen that's canonically aro or ace....yeah i'm coming up empty 😍

[redysetdare]

every time i see a post that is like "ughh why cant we have aspec characters who aren't aroace for once" I have to do a double take like "is the aroace rep in the room with us right now?" because genuinely....where is all this aroace rep y'all are complaining about? Why cant i find it yet it's apparently the only aspec rep we get?? You admit that TV never says the word aromantic so where is the aroace rep. So far I've pretty much only seen canonically asexual characters and not much else buddy.

[musical-chick-13]

Once again, I am asking why Eroticized Cannibalism and Psychiatric Abuse is fine as a storytelling device, but any other pRoBLeMaTiC trope isn't.

[lixzey]

forever yours.

one two

Timothée Chalamet, cheating on Kylie Jenner? The Wonka actor was spotted kissing an unknown woman in Los Angeles!

You stared at the article on your phone, your hands shaking. You knew you shouldn't think about it; after all, you and Timothée have been dating for four years, and he loves you—only you. But nobody knew that, though. He was a world-famous actor, and you were someone who just so happened to have his heart. You two had decided to keep the relationship low-key and private, away from the chaotic world of Hollywood. Nobody outside of both of your families and friends knew who you were or what you looked like.

You sighed, plopping down on the bed in your boyfriend's apartment. You have been living with him for the last two years, and you loved every bit of it. Timothée was the sweetest boyfriend; he loved to spoil you. He gives you everything that you deserve and more—his words, not yours. You couldn't ask for anything more; you were happily content with the love of your life.

But you still can't brush off the fact that in this story, you were the bad guy. 

It all started in December 2022, when Timothée was forced to date Kylie Jenner. His management thought that it would be beneficial for him, seeing that Kylie was Forbes' youngest self-made billionaire and had tons of fans, maybe more than Timothée had. At first, your boyfriend was reluctant. He didn't want to date anyone else other than you. You two argued, but in the end, you convinced him that it would be good for his career. 

Timothée signed the contract, and he was obligated to date the youngest daughter of Kris Jenner. 

It started with little appearances like Kylie showing up at your home, and you had to leave or hide because there were paparazzis all over the perimeter of your house. Your boyfriend was absolutely apologetic that you had to pretend that you were not his, and it broke his heart to see you smile from the sidelines. 

You assured him that everything's alright. You were okay with everything, as long as, at the end of the day, he came back home to you. 

Some Timothée's fans were hopelessly praying that it was all some sort of PR stunt—which it actually was, but you signed a non-disclosure agreement. You had no choice but to keep it to yourself. Their 'relationship' went on and on, giving the people the benefit of the doubt. 

Until early September, when the PR team decided that it was time to make it public.

You were a little bit heartbroken when you saw it on social media. It was at Beyoncé's birthday concert, a celebrity-studded event, which made it the perfect opportunity to show off their relationship. The way Kylie Jenner had her hands all over your man made your blood boil. Timothée looked uncomfortable, but he didn't have any other choice. You wanted to go and just punch that plastic woman for having her claws all over your boyfriend, but you couldn't do anything. You hated it, but you couldn't bring yourself to admit it. Because if you did, Timothée would drop it before you could even say no. 

The way your boyfriend has his arms wrapped around that plastic bitch made you want to slap her and tear off all the plastic she had in her fake body. The way she kissed your man made you want to feed her to the sharks in the Atlantic Ocean. The way your boyfriend had his hand over her ass made you want to go and make a deal with the devil to rid the world of that woman, and maybe chop off your boyfriend's hands while you're at it. But again, you couldn't do a thing. You were left to watch while another woman pawed at your man. 

Timothée did everything to make it up to you. He would always assure you that it was all for show and nothing more. He loved you, only you, and he would never dream of hurting you. You knew that, of course, but you can't help getting annoyed by it—you won't tell him that though, because you couldn't. 

But now you were a homewrecker, a slut. 

Apparently, someone saw you and your boyfriend kissing. It was your fourth anniversary. Timothée had brought you to your favorite restaurant in Los Angeles and was enjoying the night, celebrating four years of love. After a bit of wine, he kissed you, like he always did—momentarily forgetting his 'girlfriend'. 

The next day, the photo of you and your boyfriend kissing was all over the internet. People were calling you a homewrecker, a slut, a whore, and more. You practically had death threats filling up semi-trucks. People were telling you who you are, and you didn't have a choice, all because you loved Timothée. 

All of this for what? Celebrating four years with the man you love? 

You buried your face in your hands, trying to muffle your sobs. You felt like the whole world was against you, like you were the villain in some twisted fairytale. What did you do to even deserve any of this? You just wanted to be with your man, but the world had other plans. 

“Mon amour? Are you here?” A voice echoed from downstairs. You wiped away the tears from your eyes, putting on another fake smile as you walked down. 

“Hey, love. Are you hungry?” You asked, voice breaking. Timothée looked at you, and you knew he knew something was wrong. You mentally kicked yourself for being so utterly stupid.

“What's wrong, mon amour?” Timothée asked, stepping forward and wrapping you in his arms. 

“Nothing, it's alright.” You lied. You were getting pretty good at lying, not that you were proud of it. 

Timothée sighed, his arms wrapping you tighter against his body. “Y/n, please, baby. I know something's wrong; you've been crying.” You could hear his heartbeat, the loud thumping in his chest calming you. You sighed loudly, burying your face into his chest, the smell of his cologne invading your nostrils. You pulled away abruptly, and the look of confusion on his face made your heart wrench inside your chest.

“I'm okay, don't worry.” 

Timothée cupped your face in his hands, your eyes meeting his. “Y/n, please, mon amour. Just tell me, I just want to help.” 

You took a deep breath. It was now or never. “Have you seen the tabloids?”

Timothée sighed, knowing it was about his fake relationship again. “Can you tell me what it is, baby? I'm sorry I haven't checked out the news.”

“It's just....it's silly, honestly.”

“It's not silly if it's bothering you, my love.” 

“Someone saw us kissing yesterday, and it's all over the tabloids.” you mumbled, your eyes glued to the floor. 

“Oh, baby,” Timothée whispered. “I'm so sorry; I dragged you into this. It's all my fault.” he muttered.

Your heart broke when he said it was his fault. It wasn't; it was the people who were quick to judge. “It isn't your fault, Tim.” 

“It is, baby. I shouldn't have agreed to that PR stunt. I should've just turned it down and spent all of my time with you instead-” You cut him off with your lips crashing with his. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him as he deepened the kiss. You felt all of your worries evaporate into thin air, and all that mattered was him. The man you have spent four years with, the man you see a future with. 

You pulled away, making him growl as the feeling of your lips left his. You chuckled, kissing him on the cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you more, baby. But….” 

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “But what, baby?” You asked worriedly. 

“Can I see what the article says? And anything else related to it?” 

Your eyes widened slightly. It was one thing for you to read all of those horrid things people have written about you, but Timothée? He would break at the words people have said about you, and you couldn't live with him thinking his fans were horrible to the woman he loves. 

“Baby….” 

“Please, mon amour? You don't deserve to get all the hate.”

You playfully raised an eyebrow, trying to diffuse the tension. “Who said I was getting hate?” 

Timothée chuckled. “I know Hollywood.”

You let out a deep sigh as you rubbed your temples. “It's horrible, mon amour.” 

“I don't care; I still love you no matter what.” 

“You really want to read it?”

“Yes, I do.” 

You opened your phone and showed him one of the videos on TikTok about the articles. 

timmyfan1: omg timmy cheated on kylie with her? yuck, homewrecker. 

kyliestan_: such a slut, going after someone else's boyfriend.

timotheestan: die bitch

– timobaby: yeah, go die in a ditch you slut. 

– kyjennerbaby: not timothée's fans wanting the girl to die 😭

timotheechalamalabingbong: not timothée throwing away his relationship and career for this girl 😭 

kyliebaby: poor kylie, got her heart broken by this douchebag

jennersisters: anyone want to help me find that girl and slap the shit outta her?

– user1: count me in! 

– user2: me too! i'm gonna drag that little bitch down 

“I'm so sorry, mon amour,” Timothée whispered as he turned the phone off. “You don't deserve any of this.” 

You smiled sadly at him. “I know, but this is nothing.”

“No, it's not nothing. They want you to die, and that's not okay…” 

“I don't have any plans on dying, Timmy.” You chuckled. 

"But…but...”

"No buts. I know it hurts, but we have to live with it. I have to live with it. You'll just have to focus on your career, okay?” 

Timothée sighed in defeat. “You're the most precious person in this world; you don't deserve this.”

“And you know it.” You smiled, grabbing his hand in yours. “I don't care about their words anymore, as long as I have you.”

“I don't deserve you.” 

“You do; you deserve me and more.” You chuckled, kissing his knuckles. “I love you, no matter what.”

“I love you, Y/n, I love you so fucking much.” Timothée planted a soft kiss on your lips before pulling you again to his chest. “I'm yours, forever yours.”

You sighed contentedly, melting at his touch, feeling comfort and love in your boyfriend's arms. The only thing that mattered in that moment was you and him; no one could ever take away your happiness. 

Your boyfriend, your Timothée, yours. 

@helens3amstuff @gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @tchalamss @tchalamss @ashlynnmalfoy @crazycat-ladys-blog @michakune @mxltifxnd0m @spencerr3idd @dangelnleif @sthkate @ferrjulie @imnotoverlyobsessive @mel-vaz @elsagreeer @lovely-maryj @meowmeowmau @bobthe-turmpetman29 @saintcosette

[alonetimelover]

Hi, was wondering if you could write a dadrry social media au? Could be about anything, just love to see that content ❤️ amazing work btw!

pairing: Harry Styles x famous!reader

summary: just dadrry and his sweet family of five

a/n: a little fic based in the famous!reader universe!

masterlist taglist famous!reader

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harryupdates

liked by ynupdates, hArrysbtch and 65 292 others

harryupdates HARRY and his youngest baby were seen hiking in Italy!!

view all 2 029 comments

ynupdates that's certainly a way to hold a baby!

harrysmoustache FATHER IS HERE

stylesbabie you're the real one for putting this emoji on baby's face! i saw others not being so considerate

⤷ harryupdates of course! it's a child and besides the as it was bts neither yn or harry posted their face

harrysmylife here i thought he would stop walking so much after having children. nope! now, he's bringing them with himself!

ynsmymama i saw photos with their oldest baby there as well, yn's having some me time

hArrysbtch y'all here praising him for being a father and here i am staring at his arms. my man got some guns on himself

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yourinstagram

liked by harrystyles, ynupdates and 6 492 392 others

yourinstagram being heavily pregnant during winter >>>>> during the summer

view all 230 201 comments

harrystyles You look flawlessly.

⤷ yourinstagram nothing you say will give back my biscuit

⤷ harrystyles We have two packs in the pantry.

⤷ yourinstagram yeah? but that one had the most raisins i've ever seen on a biscuit. and you ate it.

annetwist As soon as you'll be back in London I am taking kids for a week. I miss them!

⤷ yourinstagram you're the best, mum. can you take your child as well?

⤷ harrystyles Rude.

⤷ annetwist Of course! You need some alone time!

gemmastyles hello, sexy mama. are you single?

⤷ yourinstagram i am for the next twenty minutes. let's make the most of it. gelato?

ynupdates you're glowing

harryupdates what a beautiful family

ynsmymama how do you like the ball exercises? because i hated them during my pregnancy

⤷ yourinstagram hi child! and tbh i don't exercise on that ball. i just roll on it

⤷ ynsmybestie ICON

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YN via IG story

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harryupdates

liked by ynupdates and 34 202 others

harryupdates HARRY was seen walking to the hospital in London! It's the hospital where YN and him went to a few days ago.

view all 2 302 comments

ynupdates ohhhh, this is a fresh dad Harry

hArrysbtch that's the man that for the third time, THIRD TIME became a father

harrysmoustache DILF

ynsmybestie i love how cozy he looks

stylesbabie finally that big ass bag is full of necessary shit

harrysmylife when is he going to start wearing dad clothes? i can't wait to swoon over a man dressing like any father on the planet, because I will

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Harry via his IG story

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harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, harrysmoustache and 45 392 others

harryupdates HARRY was at the playdate with both of his and YN's older kids!

view all 3 201 comments

hArrysbtch hot dad at the playdate???

stylesbabie i hope those mums and dads are respectful

harrysmylife i asked for a dad outfit and he delivered

⤷ harrysmoustache definitely! my dad dresses the same

ynupdates he looks good, fatherhood is treating him good

⤷ hArrysbtch i wouldn't expect anything else

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dailymail

liked by user45 and 279 302 others

dailymail Harry Styles and wife, YN YSN, were asked to leave the restaurant after customers and staff were disturbed by YN breastfeeding their newborn. Our source says that after having a conversation, led by YN, the manager of the restaurant didn't change his decision. Harry escorted YN and their child to the car and then came back to have a talk with the management of the restaurant. Apparently, he was visibly furious and on the edge of losing his temper. After a discussion and manager's attempts to apologise, Harry stormed off.

view all 23 201 comments

harryupdates I'm not surprised he was furious! was yn supposed to starve their child?

ynupdates it's 21st century and people are still scared of women breastfeeding

ynsmybestie who was disturbed, men or women?

⤷ stylesbabie the article said it was three men complain

⤷ ynsmybestie I'm sadly not surprised

ynsmymama if they were so bothered by her breastfeeding near others, they could propose her some private room and not throw them out of the restaurant!

⤷ ynsmybestie but they shouldn't have a problem with it. she shouldn't leave restaurant for feeding her child

⤷ ynsmymama of course! but wanting to please all the customers you adjust to the situation. they didn't do thag

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yourinstagram

liked by harrystyles, annetwist, ynupdates, harryupdates and 8 302 302 others

yourinstagram Hello, you little people in my phone! As most of you know (because of Daily Mail) two days ago, my husband, our child, and I were asked to leave the restaurant we ate at, because of causing disturbance to other customers. The said disturbance was me breastfeeding our child. Before our waiter and then the manager talked with us, my husband took a picture (above) (he really takes pictures of everything) showing what was visible while breastfeeding (A BREAST !!). There really was no conversation between two parties. When asked if covering myself with a cloth would be more comfortable, I was just once again asked to leave the restaurant. No person should be forbidden to feed their children in public. I shouldn't have asked if covering myself would be more comfortable with others. No. We shouldn't accept this kind of non written 'rules'. With everything said, I wasn't going to let our child starve and went to feed her in a car, so no stranger eyes could see a breast. In the link in bio you can find a great article about breastfeeding in public and what parents go through to please the strangers being bothered by a flesh of naked skin. Be kind to each other. YN.

view all 349 302 comments

harrystyles You are the best mother our children could have. And the best partner I could find and share the life with.

⤷ yourinstagram I love you.

annetwist ♥️♥️

gemmastyles You tell'em sister

ynupdates I am so mad that you needed to made a statement about it. sick.

harryupdates people are very delicate when it comes to breastfeeding but have no problem with parading without a shirt on

hArrysbtch im just gonna focus on how precious that picture is, and the fact that harry is that type of a father to snap pictures of everything

⤷ yourinstagram he really is, those 256gb are straining and in need of expanding

⤷ harrystyles Not my fault they don't allow SD cards anymore.

⤷ hArrysbtch we love a millennial

harrysmoustache that restaurant is going to flood with negative reviews right now

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harrystyles

liked by yourinstagram, annetwist and 11 291 492 others

harrystyles To the best woman I know, thank you for choosing me to be your partner and father of our beautiful children. There is no moment in the day or night when I don't think about how lucky and fulfilled I feel spending my life with you. Happy birthday, my love. Your, H.

comments to this post have been limited

yourinstagram Come downstairs. There are now words to describe my love.

annetwist Happy birthday, YN. I believe there could be no other person more perfect to be in our lives.

gemmastyles Happy birthday, wifey!!!

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a/n: should i write some blurbs about dadrry?

[tootiecakes234]

Katsuki Comfort

This…. This is exactly why you tried to stay off of social media. Nothing good ever came from it.

Being a pro hero, you and Katsuki’s names were constantly in headlines.

Most of the times on the news, it’s for the great things the both of you do and it’s separate depending on the missions you both go on.

But online is another story. Apparently the general public didn’t think the two of you belonged together. All over fan pages and popular accounts saying how they thought he would look better with Uravity or Deku.

They either said they looked better with him,and seriously what the fuck does that even mean?? Or that he seems to have better chemistry with them.

Seeing it once or twice wouldn’t have killed you, but you’d fallen into a rabbit hole… and now you were spiraling and at some point you started to agree with them.

Maybe someone that looked and acted like you wasn’t good enough for Great Explosion Murder God: Dynamight. Maybe you just didn’t measure.

You weren’t even in the top 20 hero’s like the other two were. So why in the hell was he settling for you? Why is with you if-

“Hey y/n. I’m home. Where the hell are you?”, you heard Katsuki shout from the front door.

You quickly shut your laptop and tossed you phone on the bed. The next thing you know he’s bursting through your room door with a frown on his face.

“What the hell is your problem?”, he asked

“What are you talking about?? You just walked in here. Why do you think I have a problem.”

“Cause usually your ass is like an excited puppy, rushing my ass at the front door and today…. Nothin. So answer my damn question would ya?”

“I’m not a fucking dog Katsuki. I don’t have to be waiting for you and wagging my tail because you came home to me.” You snapped back at him and you immediately regretted it. You were taking your insecurities out on him but they were too much and you were hurting too bad.

When you looked up at him Kats mouth was set in a stern line and he’d crossed his arms. He looked like an unmovable wall. His eyes were locked on you like he was waiting for you to say something else.

But you couldn’t. There was already a lump in your throat and you knew if you started talking, the tears would 100% start flowing.

“You gonna stop acting like damn child and use your fucking words? I got all day to sit here.” There was no malice in his voice. No irritation.

“It’s nothing.” It came out as a murmur as you were getting up and making a swift exit for the bathroom. You didn’t want to be around him right now. Didn’t wanna say anymore hurtful things.

You almost made it too, but of course that freakishly inhuman speed of his caught you off guard yet again.

His hand wrapped around your wrist and spun you back to him.

“Can you please let go of me?” Now it was a whisper. A whisper and the first tear falling.

“ I’ll let you go after you tell me what’s got you this upset. You pissed at me about something? Your period about to start?? What the hell is it?” Asking again but the time his other hand was tilting your chin up to look at him.

The time your eyes made contact with him the dam holding back those tears broke and babe it was not a pretty cry. It was an ugly, blubbering, gross cry.

This isn’t the first breakdown Katsuki has seen you have and he’s gotten pretty good at handling them with you. So he wraps you up is his strong arms and just holds you. He tucks your head under his chin and gently sways back and forth like he’s coddling a small child. His hand is rubbing up and down your back.

Everyone knows Dynamite and a lot of people know the attitude on Bakugo.

But you were the only one who knew how patient and loving Katsuki is. The way he cares for you…. Even when you feel like you don’t deserve it.

Eventually the sobs calm.

“M sorry. I- I d-didn’t mean to get upset with you. I- I just- Are you sure you’re happy with me Katsuki…..am I really enough for you?” You were mumbling into his chest but you were sure he’d heard you with the way his breathing slowed and his arms tightened around you.

“Oh…. Now I get it. You’re not pissed and it’s not your period. You’ve just completely lost your damn mind…”

“I’m not crazy. I’m being serious!” You tried to pull away from. Retreat back into yourself but the man was stubborn and had arms made of steal apparently.

“Look woman I love you. Is that not enough?”

“Well people don’t care about that. You are a top 3 hero. You’re smart and talented and hot. You should be with someone…. Idk… more than me I guess. I’m just scared one day you’re gonna realize you could do a lot better than settling for me.” You said all that with your ear pressed to his chest and the loud thump of his heart in your ear.

“Look, I’m gonna say this once so make sure your ears are open woman.” He pushed you back from him so he could peer into your eyes when he spoke. “I don’t give af what anyone else thinks. You already know that. I love you. You’re a nutcase and you grind my fucking gears to no end, but there ain’t anybody else in the fucking world id be willing to put up with. I don’t like people! And I love you. That’s all you need to know. So cut this I could do better bullshit out…. Doesn’t get any better than you.”

He kept eye contact the entire time. Even when the silent tears started spilling over. He just took his thumb and wiped them away.

“You know what I hate though”

“What?” You sniffled

“I really fucking hate the way you make me say sappy ass shit like this. It’s fuckin embarrassing.” It sounded like he was exasperated but that goofy ass grin was still etched on his face.

A watery smile started pulling at your lips. Your boyfriend was the sweetest jerk.

“ ‘sides. I already got a ring. So ain’t no turning back.”he threw that in there like he was talking about the freakin weather!

He bent down and placed a kiss on your wet lips.

“What ring??!?? You bought a ring!?!”

“Yea so stop your damn “you could do better bullshit”. You’re stuck with me.” And he started walking away towards to bathroom. “And uh- it’d be awesome if ya said yes” as he shut the door to the bathroom closed.

You didn’t know what to do with yourself. You went to the bed and flung yourself on it.

He was gonna propose to you….. he already bought a RING!!!!

You were gonna be Mrs. Bakugo!

I guess you were still giggling to yourself and laying down on your back when he came out of them bathroom.

“Yea I’m convinced you’ve actually lost your mind. Sitting there smiling and laughing like a psycho.”

Before you could get up, his damp form was hovering over you.

“I don’t know if you’re aware, but I gotta thing for crazy chicks.” He has the biggest, sexiest smirk on his face.

“Oh yea… well you’re in luck hot stuff.”

*Ummmmmm… this is sooooo long. But I wanna do a smutty part 2. Cuz he’s nice now but Kats does not take well to you down playing how amazing you are.

Katsuki Masterlist

[moonshynecybin]

if you have the time or inclination, can i ask what the deal with motogp/those boys is about? i don’t mean that in a mean way btw, im just curious and i love drama

i will try to be brief (1/4358)

SO! valentino rossi (born 16 February 1979, aquarius. italian.) is one of the most iconic people in motorsport, CERTAINLY in motogp. he's a 9 time world champion, your favorite driver's favorite driver, and is generally credited with revolutionizing the popularity of the sport by: a. being insanely good at motorcycle racing, and b. in general having a lot of fun about it. lethally charming and charismatic. all time active listening face. just a fun and funny dude that everyone pretty much likes and MANY younger riders idolize. VERY good at handling the media and his legions of cult-like fans. sometimes treated more like a god than a person. i was in the store yesterday and saw one of his themed monster energy drinks despite him retiring two years ago. his fun retirement activity is racing BMWs and running his own motogp team/training facility/cult for young italian racers. (this is where cele and bezz and basically every italian rider not named enea bastianini come from!)

so in 2011ish valentino had won 9 titles, and he decided to leave his current manufacturer and move to italian manufacturer ducati where he generally had a stone-cold terrible time. EXTENDED flop era for a couple years. any time ive watched content that covers this period everyone is so sad. so sad. anyways he GOES BACK to his old manufacturer in 2013 and is much more competitive. kind of just happy to be winning sometimes and be on the podium. 2013 is also where marc comes in. what could go wrong.

marc marquez! (born 17 february 1993, almost exactly 14 years after vale which i'm sure means nothing. also an aquarius. spanish.) childhood sports idols include: dani pedrosa, VALENTINO ROSSI.

marc carved his way up through the feeder championships until casey stoner unexpectedly retired at the end of the 2012 season leaving a seat empty on a VERY good bike for his rookie season. rocked up and was immediately VERY good at winning and very good at being a crazyinsane person on track that made people mad at him lol. hilarious habit of pissing people off via on-track crimes that i really enjoy. motogp riders are already crazy (they do death sport) but marc is famous for taking risks no one else will. basically if he's not winning, he's crashed out or he's maybe crashed YOU out. he wins the championship as a rookie (insane) and the next year's championship as well. heir apparent to the throne. sweet and goofy but is now known as one of the more reserved riders with the press. probably because of all this drama tbh. undisputed GOAT of acting like a slut on camera

throughout 2013-2014, marc and valentino had a good relationship! marc very clearly idolizes him and is like. bowled over completely with delight every time valentino looks his way. vale likes him! theyre buds! truly an endless well of pictures of vale explaining something with his hands and marc babygirling at him. highly recommend checking out @pgaslys every rosquez podium tag for contextual brain damage. insane times.

(IT SHOULD BE NOTED: before the 2015 season marc visits valentino at his practice track in italy, where they compete to break the track record and almost kill each other bc they are so pathologically competitive. APPARENTLY, marc showed up with some official mechanics and valentino was a little pissed off because it was supposed to be a like. fun thing. and to marc winning is the most fun! if you dont come to win why come at all! anyways marc breaks the track record and credits that to cooling their relationship a bit. good post about it here.) here they are that day:

so what could go wrong, right? WELL. valentino has a chance to win his tenth title in 2015. marc is on a flop bike and crashed a bunch so he's not in the championship conversation but vale is leading the standings from the jump, with his main opponent being jorge lorenzo. i think he really wanted that tenth, and dedicated himself to the season in a way he hadnt really ever before (he was a very effortless competitor when he was young. gym-adverse. king).

marc and him start to get into some scraps along the way, notably in argentina (where they made contact and marc crashed out), assen (where they made contact AGAIN and vale won the race), and phillip island (marc won. GREAT race available here for free). phillip island sees vale finishing P4 and jorge lorenzo finishing ahead of him in P3, reducing his championship lead by quite a bit. no real indication of any tension during these races, and they are asked about it!

this is where valentino's delulu era begins! basically, ahead of the next race (🔥🔥SEPANG 2015🔥🔥) in the pre-race press conference, he goes after marc, saying he was deliberately sabotaging valentino in phillip island because marc wanted jorge to win. in valentino's mind. marc wants jorge to win because a. they are both spanish (??) and b. it would mean marc has to win less titles to equal valentino's total. record scratch. freeze frame.

everyone (including marc!) thinks valentino is joking at first bc that is bananascrazyinsane. he was not joking. (it should be noted valentino STILL thinks this lol.) anyways marc is completely blindsided. he thought they were good! yeah they've been chippy on track but that's racing!! truly like. 22 years old and your friend (AND CHILDHOOD IDOL.) is calling you a snake in front of your face with NO prior warning to the entire motogp establishment writ large including your coworkers and REPORTERS. valentino wont even look at him the entire time. the press conference is available here on vimeo. excruciating gifsets of marc's very stiff bewildered PR smile found here.

anyways so. the race. marc is uh. pissed off. he's stuck to valentino like GLUE the entire time and they trade places a bunch of times. now marc is kind of famous for being a little asshole on track anyways, but its not like he's gonna get out of valentino's way and just let him pass after what he said in that press conference so. hand in unlovable hand <3. truly very fun to watch imo even with the sword of damocles hanging over them. marc is fucking on one the entire race and basically refuses to give valentino an inch until vale gets so fed up with his antics that um. well. it certainly looks like he kicked him. vale says he didnt, and that his leg accidently made contact with marc's bike. marcs says. he fucking kicked me. judge for yourself here!

so valentino gets hauled in front of race direction and penalized for the next race (the deciding race for the championship). he has to start from the back of the grid and it kills his chance at a tenth title stone dead. vale places the blame squarely on marc's shoulders and his legions of fans decide marc is public enemy number 1. him and jorge have to get security at the next race because of death threats, someone tries to break into marc's childhood home back in spain, marc's mom throws away all of marc's valentino merchandise from when he was a kid. vale says nothing.

but the thing about marc. is that he loves very hard and chooses his people pretty carefully. didnt really move out of his tiny hometown until he turned 30 and also made his baby brother move in with him kind of guy. so all this is not really enough for him to let go of vale entirely! 2016 is where the pain lives! bc marc is still reaching out and vale himself stays pretty cold for a couple years. they seem to faintly reconcile for a bit but its not anywhere like it was before sepang.

the real nail in the coffin is argentina 2018. another insane race where marc has to start from the back and goes on a rampage through the field and crashes out like three people. i cant remember. this race is also available on youtube for free its very entertaining. every five minutes marc does something insane. vale is one of the people marc crashes out and afterwardshe goes on a big rant about how marc is destroying the sport and is actively dangerous. marc goes to valentino's garage immediately after the race to apologize and vale doesnt even look at him. he gets turned away at the door after vale's best friend/assistant/henchman yells in his face1!!! and thats kind off all she wrote in terms of reconciliation

anyways that's where we are! they are both very much not over it. vale goes on podcasts and is like. in 30 years i will still be mad, im literally never going to get over it it was such a big and unfair thing and i think about it all the time like it was yesterday. and marc (lying) says as time goes by i dont even think about it :) and i care about valentino less and less :))) but yes he hurt me deeply lol. CANNOT stress enough how much this entire thing is now inextricably liked to both of their legacies. the two arguable GOATs of a sport had an epic fleetwood mac-style beatles breakup divorce and everyone wants to talk about it allllll day long including me :)

additional context! really recommend checking out marc's little docuseries he put out this year about his recent struggles with injury. he is so not right in the head and it goes over the valentino drama in ep3. theres also hitting the apex (2015) which goes over the 2013 season (marc's rookie season) and is a really good introduction to all the major players at the time. its like less than 2 hrs long so its not too much of a commitment

also recommend following scholars @babynflames, @its-always-silly-season, @baking-soda, and @f1vegas as well as many others im forgetting rn bc its 2am!

[meanbossart]

in the least confrontational way possible…what’s up with you shipping durge and orin? is it just another aspect of u liking fucked up dark dynamics in media? personally its not for me at all, but i’m curious why you like them together and how her dynamic is with ur durge

[CONTENT WARNING for mentions of inter generational incest and grooming below, nothing explicit.] Hm. You know, it's a little unfortunate that we have reduced every depiction of characters having a relationship that is at all romantic or sexual in nature (not even, really, I've only ever drawn them hugging LOL) as "shipping". I don't "like" them together in the way I like DU drow and Astarion together, for example, and they never really were together. I made up a story that I find interesting, because I find Orin interesting and wanted to explore her themes more, and liked the idea that hers and Durge's relationship wasn't always "bad".

I really enjoy writing for DU drow, I put a lot of effort into making his story feel fleshed out and suited for the in-game universe. It's a little disheartening that some people may harp on this without considering that there is a wider context beyond it just tickling me, somehow. These are two characters who've never even had sex, in which one of them (Orin) isn't even interested in romance or "mating", and the other one has no concept of healthy relationships, familial or otherwise and just desperately grasps at the one thing he feels a kinship to: to the eventual disintegration of the one relationship he had that approached anything to mutual understanding and relatability.

Theirs isn't a love story, it's a story about isolation and grooming that led to total dependency. If you've been told your whole life that everyone and everything is fated to die at your hand, that your kind is meant to be contained within a genetical crockpot, that debauchery is normalcy and everyone else is the enemy, it is no huge stretch that you would dump all expectations of companionship onto your one, supposed equal - friend, sister, mate, should-be-lover. And then, if you're a bad person on top of that, you won't take no for an answer.

Add to that that your grandfather (Sarevok) is apparently in total agreement and a practicant of the idea of inbreeding for weird purity purposes and you have yourself an environment where an obsession like such can be born - one that Orin wants nothing to do with, because unlike DU drow, she doesn't become distracted by matters of the heart - and hence we have conflict, and we have reason for resentment to brew over time. At some point in the past, they had a "good" (within the bhaalist concept) relationship, and there was nothing sexual or romantic about it. DU drow crushed that. And then he got a worm in his brain for it.

Is that shipping? 🤷 idk

If you go onto my blog's archive and look up the "orin the red" tag you can find more asks where I discuss them and their relationship.

[unreliablesnake]

I want you, but… [Ghost x reader (platonic)]

Summary: Ghost doesn’t like to see you date someone else. But when he has the chance to get what he wants, his common sense wins.

Note: We’re all sad bitches in this house (that’s me, I’m the sad bitch) so no happy ending. Ghost, I love you, but you’re an idiot. / If you want to know when I post new stuff, follow @unreliablesnakefics and hit the get notifications button.

Part 2

Ghost usually isn’t the jealous type, but with you it takes very little to lose his cool. You’ve never been together, he knew he had no right to be mad at guys who flirted with you, he had no right to be angry with you for letting them, but it still happened sometimes.

One of the new doctors at base who treated your wound was really nice to you. Ghost was there, he volunteered to escort you to sick bay, making sure you didn’t collapse on the way, and when he saw the way the doc was looking at you, the kind, humorous way he was talking to you, he immediately knew what this was all about.

You didn’t seem to mind the attention, in fact you encouraged him by keeping up the playful conversation despite being in pain. Ghost took a hesitant step forward, planning to ask how you were, if he could bring you something, anything that could break the spell you were under, but he changed his mind last minute. He should keep his distance, he had no right to stand in the way.

He had been more irritated lately as he had been before. Johnny’s usual jokes simply went over his head, he didn’t even feel like being around others. You and that doctor got pretty close, pretty fast, and there was nothing he could do to stop this relationship from blooming.

Ghost picked up women for one night only, trying to forget you at least until he was fucking someone else, but all he could think about was you. Your smile, your laugh, your stupid sense of humor. He missed you, especially when you were both back home and there was no way for him to reach you.

All he could do was stalk you on social media. You barely posted photos of yourself, but when he saw a picture of you and–based on the size of the hand–a man clinking glasses at a bar probably, his heart sank. You were happy with someone else, feeling so confident about the relationship that you were ready to share it with your family and friends.

But then he checked the caption. “Sometimes ‘let’s stay friends’ isn’t an empty promise.”

He sat up in bed and reread the sentence. Did this mean you broke up? Hope filled his heart at the thought, even though he wasn’t sure how this could help him. He was your superior, the two of you getting together would cause a scandal for sure. Price wouldn’t be happy, the others might begin to believe he would play favorites with you, so everything pointed in the direction that you could never be together.

A few weeks later you were back on a mission together, and Ghost didn’t really know what to do. He was nervous around you, always carefully thinking about what to say before opening his mouth.

One evening Soap pulled out a bottle of booze from his bag, inviting the core team for a drink to relax a little. That one bottle turned into two, then three, the number growing because you were having fun together and apparently everyone brought something to drink just in case.

“So what’s with you and that doctor?” Gaz asked out of nowhere, almost causing the lieutenant to choke on his drink.

His eyes were glued to you, and your eyes traveled from one person to another until they locked with his amber ones. “It didn’t work out,” you admitted before turning to Gaz again. “Also, he’s going back to a civilian hospital. Less stress, he said. But I’m not sad or anything.”

“He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on,” Soap noted casually as he raised his glass.

Around one in the morning Price told everyone to go to sleep, saying they all needed some rest to sober up. While Price, Soap and Gaz left, you stayed behind with Ghost, your hands folded behind your back as you watched him with an anxious smile. The lieutenant didn’t really know what to say to you, so he decided to remain silent.

Even though he turned his back to you, he could still feel your gaze on him. “What is it?” he asked when he turned around to face you.

You inhaled then exhaled slowly in an attempt to calm yourself. But then you took a hesitant step towards him and said, “Are you happy that I broke up with him?”

“Why would I be happy?”

“You liked the photo I posted weeks ago. You know, the one about let’s stay friends. Also, there’s another thing,” you began, but you stopped talking. Ghost raised an eyebrow, waiting for you to continue. “Peter told me something that made me think. He said you were giving him death glares ever since he first talked to me in your presence after I got hurt on the field.”

Fuck, he had noticed. It’s not like he tried to hide it, but he sure wasn’t expecting the doctor to pay so much attention to him. What was he supposed to say? That yeah, well, I’m sorry, but he wasn’t good enough for you? In the end he let out a long sigh and put a hand on the back of his neck.

“I hope he didn’t break up with you because of that,” he noted quietly.

You raised an eyebrow at this in question. “What makes you think he was the one who broke up with me? Maybe it was me who let him go.”

“Did you?” You nodded. “Why?”

“Maybe there’s a big, scary guy I would rather spend my time with,” you replied with a playful smile.

Ghost wanted to kiss you so badly it hurt, but he kept his urges under control. When he stepped a little closer to you, you did the same, and eventually you closed the gap between you. He reached out to push a stray strand of hair behind your ear, watching as your breath caught in your throat from surprise.

After gulping loudly, you reached out to take his hand. “Was he right? Do you like me, lieutenant?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m your higher-up, it wouldn’t work anyway. Go to sleep,” he told you, even though this was killing him.

He could see the signs. He could pinpoint the exact moment your heart shattered into pieces because of his response. Biting on your lower lip to stop yourself from crying, you nodded and left him standing there, making him hate himself more than ever before.

[devondeal]

Long Chaggie rant ahead

I think a reason Chaggie get called "boring" is that they are waayyy past that beginning stage of their relationship TV love to glamorize.

They've been together for three years and already have that comfort level with each other that not everything is a new discovery. They accept each other's differences and just support. That's what a well established relationship is like.

Of course they are still heavily affectionate and loving with each other because duh, they're in love. Society loves to repeat the bullshit "losing the spark" problem in relationships and how "marriage is so hard" but most of these situations are people that barely even like each other let alone love.

I think that's why media loves showing either beginning stage relationships OR trope-y enemies to lovers and variants of that.

ESPECIALLY in the case of queer relationships because it's only fairly recently that it's been normalized onscreen and I don't think we're used to seeing a normal queer relationship. Like think about it.

Media has always loved showing the gays as deviant and toxic because that's been the only way it was allowed to be seen. I think many of us have gotten used to seeing ourselves that way that it's been normalized.

Personally, I'm in the boat of I'm sick being seen as deviant and like it's bad and wrong thing to be in love with someone of the same sex. For me, Chaggie has been healing because it's just two women being a healthy happy couple. Something that society and even family have told me is not possible which hurts beyond words to hear.

So yeah, I love Chaggie. It is the best wlw canon ship in fucking YEARS and I have been craving representation like this. The very things that I get dirty looks at for irl, is completely normal with Chaggie.

They can hold hands, lean in together arm around shoulder, quick casual kisses in public, give each other goo-goo eyes, just general affection and couple-y behavior as well as the "been together for 3 years" quirks and routines. Like I swear I cannot remember any other wlw ship like this so yeah, it's gonna hit me hard in the feels.

And when characters like Lute and Adam are disgusted or fetishize it, it's very obviously portrayed as villainous behavior. Everyone else just accepts them as they are.

Of course it's not just the normalization of those things but specifically in the context of they've been together for 3 years and are still very much in love and have nothing to prove to each other and just face any conflicts as they come like a normal couple.

Most media especially TV have gay couples break up after that amount of time just for drama points and cuz us gays cant ever last in a long term relationship apparently 😒 And I feel like that especially goes for lesbian relationships on TV. I've seen wayyy more long terms mlm relationships than wlw in main roles.

(Wonder if that's cuz it's just so unbelievable that women could actually love each other cuz society just is so attached to the idea that all women hate each other)

Basically fuck Chaggie hate. We need more wlw long term relationships like this onscreen. I'm tired of being seen as deviant and likely to be toxic. And I'm not saying they need to be perfect. They're obviously not and have some issues but that's a good thing. Every couple has issues.

I'm just saying not all gay onscreen need to almost destroy their relationship in order to repair it.

I just really find it incredibly annoying that some will slap the "boring" label on Chaggie when it's more likely that a long term healthy happy wlw relationship is just that bizarre to them. Just let women actually love women for fuck's sake.

[suzukiblu]

Day nine of fic NaNoWriMo; obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon.

Tim's nucleus of an idea requires some careful math, some even more careful bank fraud, and a lot of planning. Less planning than the supervillain timeline, at least, but still a lot of planning. He has to time it very carefully to make Kon won't have forgotten about the museum heist and the idiot civilian he saved from it, but so there won't be anything suspicious about said idiot civilian having managed to track him down. Admittedly, Kon isn't very hard to track down, but normal high schoolers aren't very good at tracking people down.

Well, not unless they're stalking a celebrity they have a crush on or doxxing a YouTuber who's mildly annoyed them or something.

. . . okay, Tim's probably being too paranoid here. If Kon asks how he found him, all he has to say is he follows him on Twitter or something.

He does actually follow Kon with one of his undercover IDs, because Caroline Hill needed a few social media accounts to round out her existence and giving her ones that she just focused on following celebrities with saved him from having to rig up a bunch of bots and other accounts to be her "friends". It's way easier to just keep up lurker accounts for her and occasionally like a few interesting photos and generally inoffensive comments about current events.

He didn't even deliberately go find Kon's account; Twitter recommended it to him after he followed the Titans and he decided if Bruce asked he could just sell it as a way to keep tabs on a new ally and teammate in a way they wouldn't notice. Caroline Hill also follows Arrowette's official account, even though Tim knows Cissie's mom is the one who actually runs it, plus the Titans' and a couple of other more public-facing heroes'.

So as long as Bruce doesn't notice just how many thirst-trap selfies Kon has posted in wet swimsuits or post-fight ripped-up costumes or with that stupid flirty smirk on, Tim might actually be able to get away with that excuse.

Heteronormativity might protect him, if nothing else.

Maybe.

Look, there's a reason it's Caroline and not Alvin following Kon's account.

Tim works on his idea and his plan and the bank fraud that'll let him crack into his trust fund early without his dad noticing, because while his allowance is frankly appalling and he has a lot more in savings than anyone under the age of twenty probably should, it's not actually enough to fund an entire new life for his stupid sexy teammate, and unfortunately Robin-duties kind of put a crimp in the idea of getting an after-school job, so bank fraud it is.

Just a little touch of supervillain practice, he figures.

Tim works out some reasonable timing and a few different possible approaches to take with Kon, and he tries to stay logical and patient about the whole process even though literally every day this takes is another day that Kon is stuck in a shitty lab that tried to mind-control him and is still actively taking advantage of him, under new management or not. Even Superman doesn't trust Cadmus–understandably–but apparently having an inside man in with them is more important to him than protecting Kon from them? Somehow?

Which is much, much less understandable, to Tim. It's not like Kon volunteered for that. Superman only came to him about it after he took the job for lack of other options. And also he asked him to do it while offering him a real name tied to his family, and while Kon doesn't even know his real name exists.

So yeah, Tim really needs to get a personal kryptonite supply going. Just so much of a personal kryptonite supply. A full rainbow of one, just in case. Like, carefully lead-sealed and code-labeled so Kon will know to avoid it just in case he stumbles across it, but still.

Fuck, Superman better be being mind-controlled right now or something. Or impersonated. Or just somehow compromised.

If he's not, there is not enough Kryptonite in the world for Tim's needs.

So Tim works out his plan, and then he goes back to Metropolis. Specifically, he goes back to Metropolis after Kon updates his Twitter with a selfie that has the Metropolis skyline in the background and a caption about a local café he's about to hit up, which hopefully will give Tim an hour or so to get there before Kon swans off to some random beach or goes back underground with Cadmus or whatever, and also hopefully won't be swarmed with fans or supervillains when he does.

Actually walking up to Cadmus's front door and asking Superboy to come out and play is not in any way in the plan, though if it takes long enough to "find" Kon somewhere plausibly deniably findable for a high school student to manage, Tim's open to the possibility. Fuck knows he's done stupider and weirder and still made it work.

Tim gets to Metropolis in forty-five minutes because of judicious abuse of the Batplane and Bruce being busy on the Watchtower for the day. He'll be telling him he went to see Superboy, since obviously Bruce isn't going to miss the missing jet fuel and Alfred has no reason to keep his mouth shut about it either, but be lying about why he went to see him. As far as Bruce knows, this is business.

Technically, Tim could spin this as business if he had to.

He gets to the café and there aren't any supervillains but there is a small handful of preteen girls on the sidewalk outside giggling over their collection of newly-gained autographs, which means the local supervillains are either behind the times and not properly tuned into social media or just don't have beef with specifically Superboy. Which . . . quite possibly they don't, Tim is realizing. The locals would know how little investment Superman has in Kon, after all, and Kon spends more time either underground with Cadmus or running around with Young Justice than he does actually in the city proper, so it's not like he's had time to collect many personal grudges. Those are probably all back in Hawaii. In Metropolis, he's mostly just been reported as covering petty crimes that'd slipped through the cracks while Superman was busy handling Brainiac or Parasite or having another cold war with Lex Luthor.

It's Kon, of course, so eventually he'll piss off Toyman or accidentally trip over Mxyzptlk or something, but right now, Metropolis mostly just remembers him as that slightly too eager kid who stopped a bomb from killing them all that one time and helped Superman stop Engine City from happening to them. Kind of like Superman has a very enthusiastic but well-intentioned super-powered fanboy kicking around downtown, as opposed to an actual sidekick or any kind of partner that he regularly works with and supports. Steel gets a lot more Metropolis street cred and appreciation, for obvious reasons, but Kon just hasn't been around the city that often since his initial debut. He's a little bit like a tertiary mascot character.

Tim thinks Metropolis is full of idiots, but their standards for vigilantism were set by a man who can bench-press a planet, so he supposes it makes sense that they see a teen idol telekinetic as a charming little side character and not really anyone too impressive in his own right.

No wonder Kon ran off to Hawaii the first chance he got after Superman came back to life, though.

Though in retrospect, why did Superman let him?

Tim walks into the café in civilian clothes and immediately spots Kon at a table in the back and gets a very sharply assessing eye from the woman behind the counter. He doesn't patronize her by pretending to be here to order anything and just heads straight for Kon.

She watches him, and so do a couple of assorted patrons that might be regulars. Tim wonders if Kon's a regular himself, or if Metropolis is just more protective of its Supers than he'd previously realized. Kon isn't here often enough for him to have really looked too closely into it.

Kon doesn't look up from his phone or his mostly-empty plate and mug; it looks like he's playing a cell phone game or something similar. Tim debates the best way to introduce himself, since he doubts Kon will immediately recognize him, but before he can–

"This better be worth ditching out on the refill I just ordered," Kon says distractedly without even glancing up.

"Sorry?" Tim says, a little bemused, and then Kon does look up and startles a little, looking surprised.

"Shit, sorry, thought you were somebody else," he says. "Blame the coat."

"You weren't looking at my coat," Tim says, looking down at it himself in vague mystification anyway. It's just a coat. It's long and dark and on the heavy side, but that's literally the only notable things about it.

"I don't think you understand how TTK works," Kon says, lowering his phone with a wry smirk. "I don't have to look at you to see you, man."

. . . well, that's definitely an application of tactile telekinesis that Tim wasn't previously aware of.

He's just going to try not to think too hard about any implications of Kon's telekinetic field potentially being in constant passive contact with literally everything and everyone around. Especially not him.

If he's lucky, he'll be able to forget that new bit of knowledge as anything but an unfortunate new angle to his occasional sex dreams and just leave it at that.

"Oh," Tim says, feeling vaguely faint and still trying very hard not to think too hard about this new bit of knowledge. "Uh, that's . . . cool. Um. Can I talk to you? Er–please?"

"Need another museum un-robbed?" Kon asks, and Tim is genuinely surprised to be so immediately recognized. It's been over a week, Kon saves people's lives every day, and they'd barely even spoken.

"Not so much," he says. "I just wanted to thank you again. Um. Properly, I mean."

Kon tilts his head, a brief flicker of curiosity flashing through his eyes, then grins up at him.

"I told you, man, it's no big," he says. "It's just what I do, you know?"

"I know, yeah," Tim says. "But I still appreciate it. Can I cover your lunch for you?"

He figures that's a subtle little nudge towards what he wants out of this conversation. Get a foot in the door and all; set some expectations. Or at least try to work up to it.

"I don't know, can you?" Kon says with another brief flash of curiosity, though his grin doesn't change.

"I mean, you're a superhero so I assume you could stop me if you wanted, but otherwise I'm not really seeing any obstacles there," Tim replies reasonably. Kon laughs a lot more brightly than Tim usually gets to see him laugh, which is incredibly distracting, but the people glaring bloody murder at his back finally start letting up.

"I dunno, you're pretty cool under pressure," Kon says with a sly smirk. "Maybe I couldn't."

Tim hates his useless brain and all the totally inappropriate thoughts it immediately conjures up about various options for getting one over on Kon, because of course all of said options are sexy options. Kon's smirking at him all sly and teasing and Tim just made him laugh; there is literally no possible way they could not be.

God, he's going to be thinking about this for their entire next training session, isn't he. That's gonna be mortifying as fuck.

"I think you're underestimating yourself," he says. "You handled those assholes at the museum like they were nothing."

"Well, they weren't exactly Intergang," Kon says wryly.

"Still," Tim says. "The only casualty of an armed robbery and hostage situation was a vase."

"Apparently a very important vase, according to the papers," Kon says, making a face. "Superman told me I need to be more careful next time."

"Over a vase?" Tim says incredulously. He doesn't care how important the stupid vase was, Kon was busy protecting his skull from bullets. The vase's untimely demise is mildly unfortunate at best.

"Well, he wouldn't have broken it," Kon says with a shrug, picking up his mug to knock back the last of his drink. It looks like hot chocolate, not coffee.

"Neither did you," Tim points out. "You're not the one who freaked out and dropped their gun."

"Tell that to Superman," Kon snorts, briefly eyeing his empty mug before setting it back down. Then he shrugs again and grins again too, leaning forward a bit towards Tim. "It's whatever, man, no big deal. Wanna sit?"

Tim isn't actually sure what to do with that offer, but it would be helpful for making his pitch, so . . .

Though he doesn't know why Kon's making it, to be honest.

Still, no time to be looking the gift horse in the mouth, so Tim takes him up on it and sits down across from him. Kon looks weirdly pleased about it, for some reason. Tim still doesn't know why, but isn't gonna question it.

"Thanks," he tries.

"Pleasure's all mine," Kon says, flashing him a grin as he rests his chin in a hand. Tim remains mystified as to why he seems so pleased and why he even remembers him at all, but . . . okay, sure. This might as well happen. "What's your name, anyway?"

"Tim Drake," Tim says, feeling increasingly mystified.

"Nice to meet you, Tim," Kon says. "You know, without any weird magic goats or guns to anyone's head being involved."

Honestly, the magic goat and the gun to his head were both less weird in Tim's personal frame of reference than Kon's apparent interest in chatting him up in this trendy Metropolis café is, but whatever. It's useful, so he's gonna make full use of it.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

What do you think about the "kill notice" about the new Catherine pic? I looked at the picture, there doesn't seem to be any distortion or manipulation. Some filters have been used but nothing is misaligned or photoshopped in or out. No dodgy shadows. Wtf is with the reporters agreeing with it?? Is this a shady attempt to force Catherine to be out in the public sooner than she would like to be? Apparently the controversy is about her left hand and somewhere along Charlotte's left sleeve. Part of me feels it's because reporters know she is now well and are angry she isn't back to work and giving them content. But, the picture agencies pulled the pic, so what's with that?? Such an unnecessary controversy.

I think it’s much ado about nothing. A lot of what people are point out as edited can be explained away, such as:

Kids are wiggly so of course they’d be blurry.

It’s a still from a video or a Live Photo.

Kate isn’t wearing her rings because maybe her fingers are still swollen from all the post-op meds and steroids, or maybe she just doesn’t want to wear them.

It's a program/app on William’s phone that stitches together the best parts in a sequence of photos to fix a squirming kid. (Like Google’s Best Take feature, in which case it’s AI, not photoshop.)

But wait, what about that pap pic last week of Kate with all weight in her face looking unrecognizable, and now in this photo she looks like herself? It’s about camera angles and body positions. There’s a pose - I call it the goose pose - where if you tilt your upper body forward just slightly and push your head/chin all the way forward, the extra weight in your midsection, neck, and face disappears from the camera if the photo is being taken from the front. (When you do this pose and the picture is taken from the side, you look like a goose.)

It’s great that the wires all have standards and that they take it seriously but the “kill” request illustrates a bigger problem: that in todays age of photo editing, filters, and AI, is any photo we see real and original? Once you permit minor edits like removing dust (which is an AP allowance), it opens the door for other edits and who’s the authority to say what’s right or wrong? So it’s a sticky line.

The reporters are writing about it because they have nothing else to write about. The media makes a ton of money off Kate and the children (more than they care to admit) so of course they’re going to pick up on this and write about it. They’re desperate for Kate content because she sells.

[[Interrupting now to say that I've just seen the update from KP of Kate (scroll to the end) acknowledging the edits and apologizing for any issues. It's bullshit she had to do this but I understand why she did it: she's proud of her photography, it's her own picture she edited and not one from anyone else, and it's overshadowing the Commonwealth Service coverage.]]

I mean, it's no coincidence that a prolific royal fashion blogger notorious for bashing Kate while simultaneously profiting from her appearances and photographs announced she's taking a break to Easter. Other royal events are still happening. Other royals are still working. Other royal families are still working. But that doesn't matter: she makes her money from Kate and when Kate doesn't work, she can't make money. So why bother keeping up the blog?

Anyway, believe what you want to believe about the photograph, but just be ready for all of this to backfire. And trust me, it will backfire.

If it's true that the Sussex Squad is behind this, well, Meghan may work hard but karma works harder. Harry and Meghan's own photoshopping and photo-editing may become equally under fire: Harry's Friar Tuck bald spot is world famous and everyone knows about it, no matter how much photoshop they do.

If it's true that the media and social media is making this a bigger issue than it actually is (which it sounds like, given Kate's newest message), then reap the consequences of your actions: fewer pictures from Kate and fewer pictures of the Wales family. The chances are extraordinarily high that they'll stop sharing pictures of their family now. It's already happened - back in ye olde days, it was custom for the royal family to have a photo call during a ski holiday so the press pack could get their pictures and leave them alone. William and Kate did this in 2016 on a skiing holiday, and boom - immediate criticism. Now no more vacation photos.

If it's true that the reporters picked up on this to force Kate to returning to work sooner than expected, well, I hope Kate retreats further into the cocoon of privacy and doesn't give you the satisfaction of new birthday pictures.

If it's true that this is a sign of how shambolic KP's communications office is, then hopefully the right people learn the right lessons and make more professional decisions. We know Kate will. She always learns from her missteps, even if it takes some time.

If it's true that the wires and the press associations need to revise their rules because everyone edits, I hope they do. Trust me, there are more worrying matters about photo editing and AI manipulation to write and "kill" than a touched-up family photo of the future king's family posted to social media. This is not the hill to stake your professional reputation on.

But I guarantee you that the same people who are making a fuss about these photo edits that EVERYONE does are the same people who are moaning about the dearth of content from the Waleses and they're the same people who scream and shout when the Waleses don't do what they want them to do.

But at the end of the day, it's a family photo taken by a proud husband and dad, who probably made stupid cheesy jokes to make his kids laugh like that, which his wife and their mother edited to make sure everyone looks their best. Everyone does this. It's fucking normal.

It's much ado about fucking nothing and I hope that everyone, most especially the reporters, who fed into the hysteria understand what they've done. They've just signed the execution notice for Waleses family photos.

Kate's apology:

[sassyfrassboss]

So as a daughter of a former courtier, I have some information of such to share.

What Meghan Wants - this wasn’t just about the wedding, as when Harry proposed he proposed with a basic ring and Meghan wanted something more bling so to speak and alongside Harry, approached The Queen and basically demanded that she have the centre emerald of the choker necklace placed into a diamond pavé ring alongside two other large diamonds from the royal collection, which I’ve heard were from the Victorian or Georgian era.

When the Queen said no, Meghan got venomous and is the reason why the Queen said she was evil. When they couldn’t get any further, they apparently approached The Earl Spencer to have him hand over diamonds from the Spencer tiara to place into the tiara, to which he denied. This was among the reasons why he did not attend the christening, the wedding he did attend because of optics.

The hatred of Catherine links back to a time when Meghan got drunk while living in Kensington Palace’s cottage with Harry, and threw a large party that went on for hours. William was apparently away at the time and Catherine was pregnant with two young children living close by. Catherine went down to tell her to stop the partying and the loud music, and Meghan again got venomous towards her. And by venomous, I mean in her face, obscenities falling from her lips and insults right to Catherine’s face. Also Meghan did buy Catherine a set of stainless steel butcher knives and smirked that the blood wipes right off.

Meghan also hates Pippa, because she tried to worm her way into her friendship circle first through the Chelsea society circle but failed as Pippa is very closed off to outsiders and very protective. Harry has had a well known weird obsession over Pippa and Catherine for a long time.

Meghan is behind the Rose rumours, this is a fact known by the family and staff. This is another reason why most have frozen her out and it is indeed due to Rose and Harry being together, and him raving about how “fit” she was to everyone afterwards while Meghan didn’t get to attend.

Meghan didn’t believe Zara had miscarriages and this is a big reason for why Anne, Peter, Mike and Zara hate her guts. Basically what was said is that Meghan didn’t see how an Olympic standard equestrian could have two miscarriages one after another and maybe it was that that caused it.

The racism thing is a nothing burger. Basically Charles and Camilla alongside William and Catherine sat down with Harry, without Meghan there before they married but apparently engaged, and basically brought up about whether he’d be able to cope with racism in the media directed towards Meghan and their child, what I’ve heard is that those shotgun engagement rumours are indeed true. There was a lot of talk about a miscarriage, and it wasn’t about Catherine or anyone else in the family. Which is why his family brought it up, as they knew he wasn’t the strongest mentally or emotionally. But what also was brought up was Harry’s racism and whether he’d be able to handle a biracial child… he had commented on Senna and Tāne Lewis among others.

Eugenie’s engagement announcement and wedding were both pushed back to accommodate Meghan and Harry, and their wedding pushed forward. The Queen apparently wanted a toned down wedding because Meghan was a divorcee and she was pregnant out of wedlock, but then suddenly they were accommodating basically anything she wanted, to which I’ve heard is because she cried wolf over a miscarriage, saying they were the family she never had and really manipulating them as while the Queen and others were strong and smart in the institutional way, they are a soft and supportive family. But she did bring up nonstop questions about Philip’s Nazi in-laws which irked him, The Queen and others massively.

Meghan wanted the Vladimir tiara, but not how it usually looks - basically she wanted to take the emeralds out of it and place those emeralds into the Lovers Knot, which she was told no because it is on lifetime loan to Catherine and its current frame is fitted to her head shape.

That Givenchy anon that was going around? That is basically all true. Meghan hated Charlotte with a vengeance but also Mia Tindall and later Lena Tindall because she like Louis dared to be born in 2018. She hated family members bringing children to events or family gatherings.

Also Meghan kept calling Louis, Lewis instead of the Louey pronunciation because she was jealous of him. Apparently Louis was also the name that she (more so Harry) had approached the Queen and Philip about using for their unborn child.

Doria never got anything. She turned up a few days before the wedding and jetted out a few days later. Jessica Mulroney kept pestering the courtiers and royal staffers to which they ended up blocking her from further communication.

Nobody knew Meghan was pregnant when she announced in 2018 with Archie, everyone literally found out when she posted on the instagram account in the middle of the night in the UK but a good time in California. Nobody got to ask about medical provisions, as the staffers wanted to help arrange the appropriate procedures for her with the Queen’s medical team. But she didn’t take them up, and Harry didn’t know basic things about the pregnancy when asked by family and staff. There is a very very strong case for a surrogate being used, as it was noted that Meghan ate unsafe food, traveled to unsafe places, did unsafe activities, and got basic information wrong about pregnancy when asked like Harry.

Nobody has seen him or Lili, they were not in the UK for the jubilee or any other time. The Queen did not visit them at Frogmore Cottage.

Breaking this down:

So as a daughter of a former courtier, I have some information of such to share.

What Meghan Wants - this wasn’t just about the wedding, as when Harry proposed he proposed with a basic ring and Meghan wanted something more bling so to speak and alongside Harry, approached The Queen and basically demanded that she have the centre emerald of the choker necklace placed into a diamond pavé ring alongside two other large diamonds from the royal collection, which I’ve heard were from the Victorian or Georgian era.

-So around this time Meghan’s PR was insane. It was clear that she intended on making “emerald” her stone/color like Catherine had “sapphire.” At the time, her PR was claiming that the emerald stone was going to come from a necklace of Diana’s and that Harry was going to take diamonds from the famous sapphire chocker for the rest of the ring. The problem that I always had with this rumor was that the emerald Meghan wanted wasn’t really suited for a ring. Unless she wanted to have it recut.

When the Queen said no, Meghan got venomous and is the reason why the Queen said she was evil. When they couldn’t get any further, they apparently approached The Earl Spencer to have him hand over diamonds from the Spencer tiara to place into the tiara, to which he denied. This was among the reasons why he did not attend the christening, the wedding he did attend because of optics.

Rumor was that Meghan asked for the tiara for her wedding, hence why her veil was scalloped to resemble the tiara.

The hatred of Catherine links back to a time when Meghan got drunk while living in Kensington Palace’s cottage with Harry, and threw a large party that went on for hours. William was apparently away at the time and Catherine was pregnant with two young children living close by. Catherine went down to tell her to stop the partying and the loud music, and Meghan again got venomous towards her. And by venomous, I mean in her face, obscenities falling from her lips and insults right to Catherine’s face. Also Meghan did buy Catherine a set of stainless steel butcher knives and smirked that the blood wipes right off.

It was also said that the Gloucester’s complained as well. Loud drunken behavior and at one point there were fireworks. But it was more than one occasion. Apparently Meghan made some rude remark regarding them about how they needed to move and it got back to TQ who relayed to Meghan she needed to keep her mouth shut. This is also why William stopped any potential move by them into KP.

Meghan also hates Pippa, because she tried to worm her way into her friendship circle first through the Chelsea society circle but failed as Pippa is very closed off to outsiders and very protective. Harry has had a well known weird obsession over Pippa and Catherine for a long time.

I remember there being a rumor that Meghan tried to make friends with Pippa to actually turn Pippa against Catherine. I also remember Meghan putting out PR that she was super close with Pippa and it was causing issues because Pippa was taking her side against Catherine.

Meghan is behind the Rose rumours, this is a fact known by the family and staff. This is another reason why most have frozen her out and it is indeed due to Rose and Harry being together, and him raving about how “fit” she was to everyone afterwards while Meghan didn’t get to attend.

Amsterdam SOHO is where she spilled the rumor because some people were willing to out her for her “extra party activities” so she started the rumor.

Meghan didn’t believe Zara had miscarriages and this is a big reason for why Anne, Peter, Mike and Zara hate her guts. Basically what was said is that Meghan didn’t see how an Olympic standard equestrian could have two miscarriages one after another and maybe it was that that caused it.

Yeah, Meghan believes that she is the only one to have ever suffered from a miscarriage…

The racism thing is a nothing burger. Basically Charles and Camilla alongside William and Catherine sat down with Harry, without Meghan there before they married but apparently engaged, and basically brought up about whether he’d be able to cope with racism in the media directed towards Meghan and their child, what I’ve heard is that those shotgun engagement rumours are indeed true. There was a lot of talk about a miscarriage, and it wasn’t about Catherine or anyone else in the family. Which is why his family brought it up, as they knew he wasn’t the strongest mentally or emotionally. But what also was brought up was Harry’s racism and whether he’d be able to handle a biracial child… he had commented on Senna and Tāne Lewis among others.

He felt the conversation was awkward because he knew how much they all disliked Meghan and she knew it as well. So she twisted the conversation to suit her narrative.

Eugenie’s engagement announcement and wedding were both pushed back to accommodate Meghan and Harry, and their wedding pushed forward.

Stole her wedding date from what I heard. Also another rumor, Meghan was FURIOUS because she wanted the tiara, after she had been denied others, that Eugenie wore and her announcing her pregnancy was retaliation.

The Queen apparently wanted a toned down wedding because Meghan was a divorcee and she was pregnant out of wedlock, but then suddenly they were accommodating basically anything she wanted, to which I’ve heard is because she cried wolf over a miscarriage, saying they were the family she never had and really manipulating them as while the Queen and others were strong and smart in the institutional way, they are a soft and supportive family. But she did bring up nonstop questions about Philip’s Nazi in-laws which irked him, The Queen and others massively.

TQ really had an issue with the veil as well. I remember when it was said PP might not make the wedding because of health issues and I always wondered if he was going to use that as an excuse to stay home because he hated Meghan. He also retired when he knew Meghan was coming on board…which is very telling.

Meghan wanted the Vladimir tiara, but not how it usually looks - basically she wanted to take the emeralds out of it and place those emeralds into the Lovers Knot, which she was told no because it is on lifetime loan to Catherine and its current frame is fitted to her head shape.

It was the Vladimir and the Fife emerald tiara that was on display at the time at KP. At least that is my theory.

That Givenchy anon that was going around? That is basically all true. Meghan hated Charlotte with a vengeance but also Mia Tindall and later Lena Tindall because she like Louis dared to be born in 2018. She hated family members bringing children to events or family gatherings. Also Meghan kept calling Louis, Lewis instead of the Louey pronunciation because she was jealous of him. Apparently Louis was also the name that she (more so Harry) had approached the Queen and Philip about using for their unborn child.

Yeah I heard she was furious that W&C went for Louis because she had called dibs on the name prior to there even being a wedding, let alone a baby. She was also furious because she felt that Charlotte should not have been named after TQ and Diana.

Doria never got anything. She turned up a few days before the wedding and jetted out a few days later. Jessica Mulroney kept pestering the courtiers and royal staffers to which they ended up blocking her from further communication.

Doria was literally trotted out to remind people Meghan is bi-racial.

Nobody knew Meghan was pregnant when she announced in 2018 with Archie, everyone literally found out when she posted on the instagram account in the middle of the night in the UK but a good time in California. Nobody got to ask about medical provisions, as the staffers wanted to help arrange the appropriate procedures for her with the Queen’s medical team. But she didn’t take them up, and Harry didn’t know basic things about the pregnancy when asked by family and staff. There is a very very strong case for a surrogate being used, as it was noted that Meghan ate unsafe food, traveled to unsafe places, did unsafe activities, and got basic information wrong about pregnancy when asked like Harry.

Nobody has seen him or Lili, they were not in the UK for the jubilee or any other time. The Queen did not visit them at Frogmore Cottage.

So I did the math and according to Meghan’s timeline, she was still heavily drinking and partying around the time she became “pregnant” with Archie. There is a lot of questionable behaviors surrounding all of this. I did find it odd the left the “kids” at home for the 2022 Jubilee/Trooping because I figured she would at least try to get a photo with them looking out a window.

Thanks for all of this BTW!

[bananami]

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

characters: dabi x reader (x hawks sort of)

synopsis: you've never "finished" before and apparently dabi is the first person you thought to ask to help rectify that issue. somehow hawks gets roped into all of this, and not even in the way he wishes. poor hawks. maybe next time bby. (2k)

warnings: 18+/mdni, MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU'RE NOT CAUGHT UP ON THE LAST SEASON, anyways onto the good stuff - fingering, masturbation, a LOT of dirty talk, dabi says fuck a lot, implied threesome, recording and technically sexting, praise kink AND degradation kink, dabi is a little mean at certain points, somewhat implied yandere on hawks and dabi's end if you squint, reader is referred to with feminine pronouns and terms, reader is implied to have female anatomy

a/n: this took on a whole ass life of it's own. seriously hawks was never going to be a part of this but then I thought hmmm that could work. SERIOUSLY SPOILERS AFTER THIS. i am not responsible for what you read. you are responsible for the media that you choose to consume. i've given ample warnings on content and spoilers. if you're sticking around, HAVE FUN. and no i did not proof read this... xxx

"You want me to do what?"

"I'm not gonna say it again."

"Then I'm not gonna teach you."

"Touya!" You whined. "C'mon, I never ask you for anything- don't give me that look, I don't! I've never enjoyed it, I'm not asking you to show me, just maybe give me some pointers."

Dabi opens his phone to scroll through anything he can to distract himself from the effects of the conversation. It's bad enough hearing you talk about sex, let alone having to make eye contact with you at the same time. "Doll, I hate to break it to you, but if I'm being honest, it's probably got nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that you tend to date morons who think that if they grope around enough the clit will magically appear."

You scrunched your nose. "That was crass."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He pokes at your forehead, knocking you off kilter and falling back onto the other side of the couch, before going back to scrolling through his phone. "You want me to help you get off and you think me mentioning the clit is crass? Make it make sense."

You wished he wouldn't word it that way, even if it technically was exactly what you were asking from him. "Like I said, I'm not asking you to show me how to do anything, I just a little advice to make it better."

"It takes two to tango, baby. You being good at it doesn't mean they will be. You're putting it all on yourself and you can't do that."

"Ok..." you pause for a moment, gathering the courage to even whisper the next few words that cross your lips, "what about when I do it myself?"

That makes Dabi pause, his attention drawn immediately away from his phone and back onto you. "What do you mean when you do it yourself?"

You huff, getting slightly irritated with his line of questioning, as though it isn't obvious what you're saying. "Ok look, we've been friends for a long time and there's no one else that I trust enough to have this conversation with." Your fingers together as you attempt to keep eye contact with him while speaking. "I have a hard time...finishing."

"Why?" There it was. No judgment, no laughing, no making you feel uncomfortable or awkward. Dabi was straightforward and you knew that no matter what you asked, he would find a way to accommodate for you.

"I don't know," you admit, "it's like I get right there and think it's gonna happen and then it just doesn't."

Dabi is silent for a long time. He looks lost in his head, leaving you unsure on what to say. When he finally speaks it leaves you with a bit of relief. Because he again sounds genuinely curious. Although a little strained.

Unbeknownst to you, that may be because of the raging hard on Dabi is trying to keep from getting any worse or more noticeable.

"What are you using?"

"I've tried literally everything. I even bought one of those cute little vibrators from that place you and Keigo always talk about."

Fuck. That's the last thing he needed to hear. Wait until he told Hawks. He'd probably kick Dabi's ass for not calling him immediately. He'd probably do a lot worse after finding out what Dabi was about to offer without shooting the fucker an invite.

"Maybe you just need someone to walk you through it."

"What, like...like you do it for me."

"Like I'll tell you what to do, and if that still doesn't work then we can improvise."

You sit stock still, wondering what this would mean for your friendship with Dabi if you were to go through with it. But he was offering, he wouldn't do that if he thought it would be a bad idea. Would he?

No.

No, you trusted Dabi. That's why you came to him for this. And if he thought this was a good idea, then it had to be.

So you shook your head. You swore his eyes turned five shades darker.

"Lay down."

You do as your told almost immediately, and it doesn't go without acknowledgement.

"Good girl, I'm not gonna touch you just yet, I'm just gonna help you out of these. That alright, baby?" And you shake your head without any hesitation this time.

Dabi's finger skim the top of your jeans until they find the button to undo them. He pulls them do slowly, your panties with them, until they're completely off your legs. He drops your jeans to the floor but your eyes widen just a bit when he brings your panties to his nose and he takes a deep breathe. The embarrassment hits you full force. He slips them into his pocket, and you just know you're not getting them back.

"Open those legs and let me see you, doll." Clearly you don't move fast enough, because Dabi grabs both of your ankles to pull them apart, setting one leg up over the top of the couch, and the other bent in the opposite direction, your foot and ankle laid against his lap.

"Show me what you usually do, pretty girl. Put on a show for me."

You don't know how you can be both so embarrassed and confident at the same time, but it's something about his words that make you feel so much at once. Your fingers begin their usual dance against your skin, and it does nothing but spur him on.

"There you go, pretty baby just needs some guidance doesn't she? Fucking rub your clit for me, just how you like it, show me."

Your fingers rub against your clit, and it makes your body hot having his eyes right on your most sensitive parts. You can feel it building inside you, heightening when his eyes find yours and he smirks. "What do you want? Need me to tell you how pretty that pussy is? You want some praise, you little slut? A little degradation? You like when I call you my good little slut? I bet you fucking do. Shove two fingers into the pussy, let me see you take them."

Your head is fuzzy as you do what he says. Your fingers aren't very long, but they get enough of the job done. Dabi's words do more of the work than anything.

"Fuck, listen to the wet cunt, pull your fingers out, rub your clit again. That's right, baby, make a mess for me."

You keep at it for a while, but it's not until you get to the closest you've ever been to cumming that you realize it's not gonna work. You can feel it, and you want it so bad you're practically crying, but there's just something missing.

Dabi catches on quickly. "No go, baby?" He teases you. "You need to cum so bad, don't you?" You can't do anything but keep moving your fingers and shaking your head.

He lets you go a little longer, savoring the tears glistening in your eyes. And then he's pulling at your wrist, yanking your hand up toward his face, and wrapping his lips around your fingers. The same two that were just inside you.

The audible gasp that falls from your mouth does nothing to quell the growing excitement inside him. He's licking your fingers clean, groaning at the taste of you on his tongue. He pulls them from his mouth, his eyes heavy with lust.

"Any of those shitty little boyfriends get a taste straight from the source?" You look at him with confusion written all over your face, and he rolls his eyes. "Your pussy, any of them ever eat it? Or did they skip the foreplay? The look on your face is telling me all I need to know. Their loss, doll. Taste so fucking good, could spend hours with my tongue inside you."

It's his fingers ghosting over your clit that makes you almost choke. You have to shove your hand against your mouth to keep from being too loud.

"Don't you fucking dare," Dabi's voice is practically seething, "let me hear every fucking noise I make come from those lips. Made me wait this fucking long, you owe me that."

Your hand is forcibly removed from your hand and pinned at your side.

"Keep it there." He commands. And then two of his fingers are slipping inside of you. "Such a fucking cocktease, you know that? Have me and Keigo practically drooling over you and you wanna choose a bunch of fuckboys instead? They can't even get you off. Now you're coming to me wanting to cum. Fuck you. Beg."

"Please, please, please," you don't hesitate. And all of a sudden all you can think about is Keigo. And Dabi. And Keigo and Dabi. "Need to, please, please-"

"Fuck, you're squeezing. So fucking tight. What are you thinking about, huh? Is it because I mentioned Keigo." You can't help it. "There you go again, baby, does he make you wet too? I bet you wish he was here to help too."

It's a fleeting thought, but Dabi can't help himself. Hawks would be pissed if he missed this. He tries facetime, but no answer. Sorry fuck. The next best thing will have to do.

Dabi pulls up his camera and hits record at the same time that his fingers curl and he snaps, bordering on too much and not enough.

"That's right, want it dripping all down my hand. Cry for me, little mouse, let me see those tears." His thumb plays with your clit as he focuses the camera right on the place where you and him meet. "Can't tell you how many times him and I have had to jack each other off to the thought of your pussy."

You choke on your tears, "Touya-"

"Need you to come all over my fingers, baby. Show Keigo how good I'm making you feel. You'll let him help out next time, won't you?" You don't understand why, but your brain is so foggy, and you nod vigorously, maybe to agree, maybe to clear your head, it didn't really matter at this point. "Yeah? You'll let him eat that little pussy, right? He's been dying for a taste. Is that what you want, you want us to share you?"

The thought of them sharing you is what does it. Dabi swears he's never heard a more beautiful noise than the sounds you make when you orgasm. He doesn't let up, his fingers still relentless inside you. You almost panic when you begin to feel the next wave pass over you, similar but different from the last one.

"He can lick your pretty cunt while I pound into you, hmm. Or maybe I'll let him have your pussy first since he missed out today, so long as I get to take your ass while he does. Or you think you can squeeze the both of us inside this tight pussy? A little effort, but I bet we can make it work, doll." The chuckle that leaves him is almost sadistic, and all of a sudden, you feel your body snap.

"Look how she squirts," you hear him saying, "pussy's a fucking dream." He lands a slap against it that makes you flinch from how oversensitive you feel, and hits send on the video.

The next couple of minutes are spent in silence, except for Dabi, who is whispering things like did so good, perfect for both of us, such a good girl.

Dabi makes sure your cleaned, having to pick you up and carry you to the bathroom, where he sits you against the countertop and begins running a rag over the inside of your thighs. It's distracting enough that you don't hear the vibration of his phone against the granite counter.

His smirk only grows at the message that lights across the screen.

Hawks: dICK

Hawks: im gonna kick your ass

Hawks: i'll be right over

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

One of the more interesting aspects of Stayed Gone is the implication that, prior to his disappearance, Alastor must have been producing some quality programming.

Despite it's obvious importance in the modern world, TV apparently only started outcompeting radio in Hell after Alastor vanished. Seven whole years ago. And when Al returns, Vox's first response is to freak the fuck out about whether he's gonna keep his audience.

That's fucking crazy.

And we can be pretty sure that people weren't just listening in out of fear, either. Or because Alastor was making any major effort to crush all other forms of media.

If this was purely about which Overlord was the most powerful, then Vox's verses would surely have focused on emphasising his own strength. Instead, they're all about calling radio outdated. Vox is genuinely worried— apparently based on experience— that Alastor is going to outdo him in terms of sheer entertainment value.

Which raises the obvious question: what were Al's shows actually like? (Aside from those early broadcasts guest-starting the screams of the damned, obviously.)

We get kind of a taster in the song:

“Salutations! Good to be back on the air. Yes, I know it's been a while, since someone with style treated Hell to a broadcast— Sinners, rejoice!— instead of a clout-chasing mediocre video podcast. Is Vox insecure, pursuing allure? Fitting between this fad and that, is nothing working? Every day, he's got a new format! Is Vox as strong as he purports? Or is it based on his support? He'd be powerless without the other Vees! And here's the sugar on the cream: he asked me to join his team! I said no, and now he's pissy, that's the tea!”

Obviously he's doing it to music, so there's going to be some difference in the cadence of his voice from that, but still, he's talking noticeably quicker than he does in person. And he gets right to the point.

Compare it to his commercial in episode 1. There's a big difference in terms of both how much respect he's showing his audience (“well hello there, you wayward sinner!” vs “good to be back on the air”), and how much relevant information he delivers.

Alastor is a great character to watch, but most people who interact with him directly seem to find the experience either annoying, awkward, terrifying or all three.

Mainly because Al seems to go out of his way to put people off even when he's actively trying to get them to trust him, by making condescending asides or constantly dropping references to his own power. On air, however, he greets everyone politely and even drops what is almost an apology for being gone so long (“I know it's been a while”), then immediately gets to the information that he knows they're really listening for.

Alastor may not respect Charlie, Adam or Lucifer, but he does respect his audience.

And the content he's producing makes it clear why people are still tuning in. Al has the gossip. Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench may not be unbiased exactly, but they're clearly trying to provide sources for their claims and maintain some veneer of professional news reporting.

Al, meanwhile, is quite happy to provide strong opinions and baseless speculation about public figures, content that is less fitting with the professional image that Vox seems so desperate to keep up, but that is likely to attract a bigger audience.

What gets me curious now, however, is wondering what else he used to provide.

Again, radio was apparently the medium for news and entertainment in Hell until Alastor left. Implying that a) radio was at the time fulfilling many of the function that TV now provides, and b) Alastor was involved enough in this that it collapsed/got overthrown the moment he left town.

Did Alastor have an empire similar to the Vees? Did he run a bunch of channels? Did he have DJs and sports commentators and presenters on his payroll?

Given that radio seems to have collapsed completely after he left— did they all go running to Vox when he was presumed dead? Was the Vees new empire in part built on the ruins of Alastor's old one?

Or did he do the whole thing solo and just run like, a bunch of different shows. (In which case, since radio's bread and butter has always been music, Helluva Boss fans can now have fun imagining him interviewing Verosika Mayday about ‘Vacay to Bonetown’.)