#because uh *gestures at 2020*

[coolemmasulivan2]

It's Always You

Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader

Summary: You and Lando share a mutual attraction, but you've kept things professional due to career implications. However, after his first win race, things may change, blurring the lines between friendship and something more.

Word count: 6013

Author's note: First time writing about Lando. I started writing this on the day of the Miami Sprint and then when he won the next day I told myself I would publish it. Tell me what you think.

It's you, it's always you Met a lot of people, but nobody feels like you So please don't break my heart, don't tear me apart

Miami heat wrapped around you like a steamy August day and even if American tracks weren't your thing, the paddock was definitely one of your favourites.

Working with McLaren since 2019 felt like winning the lottery. Travel, new faces, and a taste of different cultures – it was everything you dreamed of. Hospitality put you in the middle of it all – the team, the fans, even the families. Being young, you clicked quickly with the drivers: Carlos and Lando from the start, and Oscar when he joined.

Carlos was your rock, a protective older brother even after his move to Ferrari. Daniel was a blast, always making you laugh with his great sense of humor, and Oscar's calm personality mirrored yours. He became your trackside best friend, sharing everything over coffee and off-track adventures with his girlfriend, Lily.

Then there was Lando. Your relationship with Lando was different. Unlike Carlos, you saw him not as a brother, but as a friend... friends that had feelings for each other.

He was shy at first, stealing glances when you weren't looking. But time made his shyness disappear. Flirting became his game, playful touches here and there and unexpected hugs wherever he felt like it. You ignored the signs until his confession left you speechless in the middle of the night in Monaco.

"I have something I need to tell you." He said.

It was 2020. Monaco was hot that night. Everyone at the team dinner was buzzing about the upcoming classic Monaco Grand Prix. Like always, after the dinner, Lando offered to walk you back to the hotel where the team was staying – nothing new. You even joked about Carlos doing the same thing.

Like all the other times, you didn't think much about the gesture. It was something he used to do, and in your head, it was just a friend helping the other. After all, Carlos did it from time to time. Why should it be any different with Lando?

"What's up?" You asked, the streetlights shining on his face. "Getting nervous about the race? The car feels amazing, right?"

Lando messed with his hair. Your voice, normally like music to him, made him forget what to say. "Uh, no, not the race."

"Then what is it? Now I'm the one freaking out." You tried to lighten the mood with a laugh. "Did you lose your house key again? You're not staying with me."

He wished you'd just be quiet. "Fuck, Y/N!" He blurted out. "I like you." The words came out fast, just like his orange F1 car. Did you hear him right? When he saw the surprise on your face, he knew you had. "I, uh, I mean more than a friend." He stammered. "Like, a lot. You're always in my head, even in my dreams. All the fucking time. I can't even look at other girls because you're all I see. I just had to tell you. I couldn't keep it in any longer."

You suddenly froze, your heart pounding like a drum solo. Time seemed to slow down, with only the two of you and the warm glow of the streetlights as the real things around. You wanted to speak, but the words simply wouldn't come out.

"Please say something!" Lando begged, his voice shaky. "Anything! Even if you don't like me back, just tell me. But don't let this mess up our friendship!"

It didn't destroy your friendship, but it sent your world spinning. You realized your little crush on the driver was a full-blown fire, and with each passing year, the flames only licked higher. But every time Lando flirted, the same words you had said to him tumbled out: "It's inappropriate."

He hated those words. He'd always argue with you about it. "Come on, I like you and I know you like me too. I know it! Who cares about work? We can keep it quiet. It can be our secret." He always had a solution for every worry, but you remained strong.

You wanted to believe that you could remain strong.

The problem was, your feelings were turning into a rebellion. Keeping them bottled up was a losing battle, and you weren't sure how much longer you could resist the pressure from the driver.

Lando strutted into the paddock beside you, his black clothes and crisp white shirt doing nothing to hide his cocky grin. "Finally figured out why I haven't won a race yet." He announced, his cologne a heady wave in your direction.

You peeked over your sunglasses. "Oh yeah, Sherlock? What's the conclusion?"

He leaned close, his voice a low rumble. "No good luck kiss from you, that's what! Maybe we should fix that? Make it a tradition if it works."

A laugh escaped you. "So it's my fault, huh?"

"Exactly!" He grinned. "And if I lose again without a kiss, everyone's gonna hear about it."

"That's your best shot at flirting?" You teased. "Seriously, Lando, you're terrible."

A playful smirk tugged at his lips. He draped his arm around your shoulder, leading you towards the McLaren hospitality area. "The only girl I flirt with is you, love. Guess you'll have to show me how to improve."

Heat flooded your cheeks, betraying your fake indifference. Lando wasn't an idiot. He knew you felt the same way, a truth as clear as the Miami sunshine.

A booming voice shattered the playful tension. "Whoa there, puppet, keep your hands off of her!"

Carlos emerged behind you, clad in his new Ferrari blues. You turned to see him glaring at Lando, who simply scoffed and moved away, the arm around your shoulder replaced by Carlos's protective arm.

He leaned down, a quick peck on your head followed by a wink aimed at Lando, who rolled his eyes with a playful huff.

"Or what?" Lando challenged.

Carlos pretended to consider, then grinned. "Or I'll run you off the track at the race. And don't even think about getting jealous. It's a bad look on you."

Agree to disagree, you thought. Jealousy did look good on him. The way he tapped his foot impatiently, the way he chewed his lip with a focused intensity – those were the subtle giveaways that made your heart skip a beat.

"Leave him alone, Sainz!" You swatted playfully at Carlos' chest, the contact sending a blush blooming across your cheeks.

"Oh, look who's defending the love bird." He teased, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You blushed once again. "Shut up." You whispered.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Lando fighting a smile as you continued towards McLaren hospitality. A quick goodbye to Carlos later, you disappeared inside, ready for your daily tasks. Lando watched you go, his gaze lingering long after you were out of sight.

When he finally turned back to his friend, Carlos was waiting, arms crossed, a knowing smirk plastered across his face. "What?"

"Ugh, the both of you." Carlos rolled his eyes. "All this mooning and staring, it's getting pathetic. Just take her out, will you?"

Lando sighed. "I've been trying for years. It's always 'inappropriate.'"

"Well, try harder!" Carlos pressed. "Last thing you need is someone else catching her eye."

Lando's playful demeanor vanished. "What do you mean?" He pressed, a sudden seriousness tightening his features. Carlos simply offered him a pat on the shoulder before walking away, leaving Lando with a gnawing sense of unease. "Hey, what do you mean?"

The sprint had been a disaster. It all ended so quickly that it didn't give him enough time to think, no chance to catch Max and the others at the front. To make matters worse, the Stewards imposed a heavy fine of €50,000 for crossing the track while the rave was still ongoing.

Later, back at the hotel, he was torn between feeling exhausted and frustrated. A cold shower did little to wash away the bitter taste of defeat. He pulled on fresh clothes and collapsed onto the bed. Closing his eyes, he focused on the tension leaving his body, hoping for a moment of peace.

A loud ringing sound shattered the silence and startled him out of his daze. He groaned as he searched for his phone, buried somewhere in the crumpled sheets.

Y/n: Hey, Oscar and I are planning to watch a movie and grab some food. Wanna join us? We're in my bedroom.

Lando smile, looking at your text.

Lando: You know I like you. You shouldn't tell me when you have other guys in your bedroom. It breaks my heart.

Although he couldn't see you, he was certain you were rolling your eyes after reading his message. 

Y/n: Shut up and get your ass here.

A laugh escaped Lando's lips as he pushed himself out of bed. He stalked over to the mirror, running a hand through his damp curls. With a flick of the switch, the room dropped into darkness, and Lando walked out of his room.

Your room was on a different floor, but soon a familiar knock came at your door. Your heart kicked into a familiar rapid-fire beat as you swung the door open.

"Hi!"

"Hey, beautiful." He cupped your cheek, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. "Osc!" He jumped in your bed and in one smooth motion, he snagged a chip from the bowl you'd set on the nightstand.

"Hey. What do you feel like watching?" He quickly looked through your Netflix library, skipping over the typical romantic comedy options.

"Anything but that mushy stuff." Lando declared, earning a playful jab from you.

"Take your shoes off the bed, Lando!"

He chuckled, kicking off his sneakers. He leaned back against the headboard, his gaze lingering on you for a second too long. You were a black Simpsons shirt and matching sporty shorts, your bare feet resting comfortably on the cool sheets. A small anchor could be seen on your ankle, sparking his imagination about what other hidden treasures lay beneath your clothes.

The spell was broken by a knock on the door. With a quick smile, you ran toward the door, returning moments later with a stack of takeout boxes. 

You settled next to Lando on the bed, while Oscar sprawled out at the foot like a contented cat. With the Avengers movie playing softly in the background, you devoured your food, a comfortable silence settling around the three of you.

Two hours passed by quickly as the credits rolled. Oscar groaned and got off the bed. You mimicked his stretch, feeling the pleasant ache of a relaxed evening.

"Looks like someone's having a sleepover!" Oscar teased, pointing a playful finger at Lando. The driver was sprawled across your pillow, a peaceful look on his face.

A soft gasp escaped your lips. "Oh, Lando!" you whispered, torn between amusement and a flicker of panic. He looked undeniably adorable, a mess of soft curls framing his face. You glanced at Oscar, who was already pulling on his sneakers. "We have to wake him up, right?"

Oscar chuckled, a knowing glint in his eyes. "We? Seems pretty comfy to me, Y/N. Let the man enjoy his rest." He started towards the door, but you reached out.

"Wait, where are you going? He can't stay here." Panic bubbled in your chest. The thought of him sleeping in your bed sent shivers down your spine.

"So wake him up!"

Your cheeks flushed crimson. "I… I don't want to wake him." The words came out a soft mumble, barely audible.

Oscar leaned closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Then don't. Trust me, asleep is the only state he'll stay put. Besides, wouldn't you rather wake up to a grateful cuddle buddy in the morning?"He winked, leaving you speechless, alone with the British driver.

Oh my god, you screamed to yourself.

You tiptoed around the room, unsure of your next move. Finally, drawn by a strange magnetism, you found yourself kneeling by the bed.

Lando's serene face was illuminated by the soft bedside lamp. His chest rose and fell gently in sleep, a single black curl escaping the gentle mess of his hair.

An irresistible urge to touch him washed over you. Without thinking about it, your fingers reached out, tentatively brushing against the perfect curl. As if sensing the intrusion, Lando stirred, and his brow furrowed slightly. You quickly retreated to the bathroom, heart pounding as you slammed the door carefully behind you.

Leaning against the door, you let out a shaky breath. You hurriedly changed into pyjamas, suddenly aware of how thin they felt compared to your day clothes. But it was hot, and you hadn't brought anything else.

Peeking through the crack in the door, you peeked out, praying for the best. Relief flooded you when you saw Lando, thankfully still asleep, but now facing the other side of the bed.

You were wondering if that little couch in the corner was worth sleeping on. It looked quite small and uninviting. Sleep on that uncomfortable excuse of furniture, or share the bed with Lando? The answer, realistically, was obvious. 

You climbed in, scooting over as far as possible to create a respectable amount of distance from the body next to you. Sleep, thankfully, came quickly. Maybe it was the exhaustion from the day, or perhaps the unexpected warmth and sense of security that came with having Lando beside you, but you drifted off faster than usual.

Sunlight, snuck into the room, painting stripes across Lando's face. He blinked, momentarily disoriented. Hadn't he closed those curtains last night? He sat up, surprise jolting through him as he realized he wasn't in his own bed.

Even more shocking was the sight beside him. You, cuddle against him, your thin pyjamas offering little to make him look away. One of your legs peeked out from under the discarded sheet, and Lando felt a warmth spread through him that had nothing to do with the morning sun.

What in the world? How had he ended up, tangled in your sheets? A quick glance around revealed his phone abandoned on the nightstand. It was still early, but Jon would be expecting him in his room soon. He needed to get out, get cleaned up and get ready for the day. But leaving felt like ripping himself away from something precious.

He stole a glance at you. Your face, relaxed and peaceful, was turned towards him. A stray strand of hair tickled your cheek. Hesitantly, he reached out, tucking it behind your ear.  The touch, light as a feather, was enough to stir you awake.

Lando didn't flinch and when you fluttered your eyes open, his face was inches away. A wave of yearning swept through you, a desire for more mornings waking up beside him.

"Did I die and go to heaven last night?" His voice, husky with sleep, sent shivers down your spine.

"You fell asleep." You admitted, your voice barely a whisper. "And I didn't have the heart to wake you up."

"Right." He breathed the word out, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. His hand reached out, cupping your cheek with a tenderness that both surprised and delighted you. A blush crept up your neck as he murmured, "Lucky me." Then, a sigh escaped his lips. "I have to go. Jon will be at my room any minute."

You nodded and smiled, despite the disappointment tugging at your heart. You watched as he hesitately rose, groaning at leaving your bed. His hair was a mess of adorable curls, and his rumpled clothes added a touch of vulnerability that made him look even more adorable.

He grabbed his phone and sneakers and then paused, a playful smirk on his face. "So, about that lucky kiss for good luck?" He teased, a hint of hope lacing his voice. "We already slept together!"

"Go!" You muttered.

"Fine, fine." He chuckled. "See you later, love."

He turned towards the door, and an impulsive urge surged through you. Before you could overthink it, you were out of bed and racing towards him. He reached for the doorknob, but you were faster, grabbing his arm and spinning him around.

For a moment, confusion clouded his features, but it quickly melted into surprise as you planted a kiss on his cheek. It was a chaste kiss, lingering just a beat too long to be considered entirely platonic. When you pulled away, his eyes held a mixture of shock and something deeper.

"There's your lucky kiss." You whispered, your voice barely above a breath. "Now go."

Lando stood speechless for a moment, the kiss still tingling on his skin. Then, a slow smile spread across his face "Today is a day full of opportunities." He declared.

With one last lingering look, he opened the door and disappeared into the hallway. You leaned against the wall, your heart pounding against your ribs.

You had never felt more nervous before in a race. At the start, it seemed like Oscar could give Verstappen a run for his money, but then the safety car came out and it felt like you were barely moving until the end of the race, with Lando being P1. It wasn't until the checkered flag waved that you finally exhaled, a shaky breath that escaped with a nervous laugh.

The McLaren hospitality buzzed with excitement. Lando had finally done it. His first F1 victory, a triumph long overdue. You joined the celebrations, a wide smile plastered across your face, not just for the team, but for Lando himself. It was a moment he deserved.

"Great race, Oscar!" You exclaimed as the Australian driver entered the hospitality area and hug you. "You had Red Bull sweating for a while there!"

He chuckled, pulling you into a brief hug. "Thanks, Y/N. I gave it my all, but the real winner tonight is Lando." He winked. "I'm sure your champion will be here any minute, looking for his girl."

You slapped his arm playfully, a blush creeping up your neck. "Don't say that in here!"

"Everybody knows." He whispered back.

As if on cue, Lando appeared. His eyes scanned the room, a triumphant grin splitting his face when they landed on you. You saw as he and Oscar hugged each other and the rest of the team.

He weaved his way through the crowd, a trail of congratulations and backslaps following him, but it was you he was drawn to. Everyone else faded into the background as he reached you, his victory grin melting into a tender smile reserved only for you.

You welcomed him into a hug, a sweet and loving embrace. He buried his face in your neck, the scent of champagne and his signature cologne an intoxicating mix.

"We did it!" He murmured, his voice filled with emotion.

"You did it!" You corrected, pulling back to cup his face. "I'm so proud of you."

Everyone was engaged in their own celebrations as he took your hand. He led you away from the loud crowd, a silent understanding passing between you. As you slipped inside his driver's room, he locked the door behind him, a thrill of nervousness ran through you.

He closed the distance between you, his eyes roaming your face before settling on your lips. With a tender touch, he cupped your cheek, his thumb tracing a seductive path across your lips.

"Please!" He pleaded, his voice low and urgent. "Just this once…" You knew exactly what he craved.

"Lando--" You began.

"Please!" He repeated, his voice laced with a desperation that mirrored your own.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. A part of you, the part that had spent months pushing him away, hesitated. But the other part yearned to give in. You nodded.

He cupped your face in his hands and pressed you against the wall. The next moment, his lips were on yours, the taste of champagne a sweet surprise against yours. The kiss was hungry and desperate. You clung to his fireproof shirt. The world melted away, replaced by the intoxicating sensation of his lips moving against yours. All the reasons you'd held back faded away. 

But just as the kiss deepened, a knock on the door jolted you both back to reality. You broke away, gasping for breath.

Lando groaned. "Yeah?" The voice from the other side told him they were expecting him. Lando rolled his eyes. "Just give me a minute."

When you heard the footsteps fade away, you reached for the doorknob, but Lando's hand shot out, his fingers wrapping firmly around your wrist.

"Stop it, Lando." You whispered.

"Don't!" He pleaded. "You can't tell me you didn't like it. I could feel it, Y/N. Don't deny it."

"I'm not denying it." You admitted your voice barely a whisper. "But you know why this can't happen."

Lando's jaw clenched. "It's NOT inappropriate! Look," he said, his voice softer now, "I waited this long for my first win. I can wait for you, just as long."

He cupped your jaw and before you could react, he leaned in and kissed the corner of your lips. He unlocked the door in one swift motion and stepped out, leaving you breathless.

You'd politely declined Lando's after-party invitation at the strip club near the hotel. You weren't the nightclub type, and deep down, Lando knew that. You assured him that you hadn't rejected it because of the kiss, but the way the call ended, left a pit in your stomach.

"He's mad! I know it." You mumbled to Oscar, who sat beside you at the hotel bar. The rest of the team was split between a game of darts in the back and loud conversations over drinks by the pool. "He didn't say 'bye, love' or 'see you later, beautiful', we just said bye."

Oscar facepalmed as he looked at his drunk best friend rambling about their mutual friend who was likely doing the same thing at the party.

"You're his friend, Y/N, not his girlfriend." He teased, sending a blush creeping up your cheeks. You stammered a reply, but the words got tangled up in your throat. "He's probably getting lucky tonight." He continued. "Deserves it after that win."

The implication hit you like a punch to the gut. "Lucky? You think he'll...?"

A mischievous glint danced in Oscar's eyes. "Oh, absolutely."

You downed the last of your drink, feeling a hollowness in your chest. "Good for him." You mumbled, the words lacking conviction.

Oscar groaned, frustration etching lines on his forehead. "Jesus, Y/N! The only girl he wants to get lucky with is you. Stop playing these mind games and making yourselves miserable!"

You rested your head on your hand, a wave of emotions crashing over you. "Oscar," You confessed, looking him straight in the eye. "I really like him. Like, never liked anyone this way before."

A slow smile spread across his face. "Then do something about it."

Lando was having the best time of his life, celebrating his first win with his friends. He felt his chest vibrate with every beat of the bass, as he laughed with his friends. Despite the fun he was having, he was also experiencing a dull ache. Your absence stood out.

He'd downed a few too many drinks to drown the disappointment steaming inside. When you declined the club invitation, his frustration boiled over into a harsh goodbye, which he quickly regretted. 

"Did you see who just walked in?" Max shouted into his ear over the loud music.

"What?" Max pointed towards the entrance, causing a frown to appear on Lando's forehead.

Your arrival sent a jolt through him, he felt a surge of adrenaline and his earlier frustration vanished as a smile stretched across his face.

"Go get your girl, champ!" Max patted his shoulder with a wink.

Lando needed no further encouragement. He navigated his way through the crowd, his eyes fixed on you.

You scanned the room with a hint of apprehension. Even in your tipsy state, a voice of reason whispered in your head, questioning this impulsive move.

Just as you turned to leave, a warm hand closed around your wrist. You didn't need to see his face to know who it was. His familiar touch sent a familiar spark across your skin.

He wore a playful smirk, but his eyes held a hint of concern. "I thought you weren't coming."

You tried to appear casual, but your voice betrayed you. "I wasn't."

"How much did you have to drink?" He asked you, and you furrowed your eyebrows. How did he know what you had been doing? You stuttered in response, unsure of what to say. "Did Oscar let you come here drunk?"

"I'm not drunk! And how do you know I've been drinking?"

"Then why the sudden change of heart?" His gaze softened, searching your face. "And Oscar's been keeping me updated."

"Why doe--"

"Why are you here, Y/n?" He asked you.

You felt your face getting hot as you looked around the club, the among of bodies suddenly overwhelming. "I, uh..." You cleared your throat, the words catching in your tight throat. "I need a drink."

As you made your way towards the bar, Lando followed closely behind. You approached the counter and asked the bartender for a drink. He nodded and began to mix your order. Lando stood by your side, looking a you. 

"How did you get here? Does Oscar know?" The concern in his voice sent a shiver down your spine.

You nodded and then drank the entire drink that was placed in front of you all at once. "Yes. He called me an Uber and told the guy to drop me here." Lando looked surprised as he noticed the empty glass in your hand. You hadn't intended to drink it so quickly, but your nerves got the best of you.

 "Whoa, slow down there."

"I thought you wanted to celebrate!" You said to him as the bartender handed you another drink. You took it and walked away. Lando's face was adorned with a smile, but worry still lingered in his mind. Despite that, there was a sense of happiness as the night was finally complete.

You leaned heavily against Lando, his arm wrapped securely around your waist, as the elevator ride made you feel dizzy. He, somehow, seemed frustratingly sober.

"Hey," He chuckled, his voice warm despite the coolness of the metal walls. You managed a watery smile, lifting a hand to touch his cheek. "What are you thinking about?"

"Dogs." You mumbled. "Do you think they dream about bones?"

Lando's laugh filled the small space. "Maybe. I don't know beautiful."

"Do you think I'm beautiful?" You blurted out, smiling innocently.

He stopped in front of your room, his gaze holding yours. The concern that had flickered in his eyes earlier was gone, replaced by something more intense. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." A giggle erupted from your lips. Lando reacted instinctively, clapping a hand over your mouth. It was late, and the last thing they needed was a noise complaint. "Shh." He murmured. "Gotta be quiet, love."

You nodded. "Okay!" 

"Where's your key?" he asked, his voice laced with a hint of exasperation. You shrugged, the simple action requiring more effort than you cared to admit.

"Lando?" You whined. "Sleepy..."

He cursed under his breath, scanning the empty hallway. Walking up to the front desk for a key wasn't exactly his ideal scenario.

"Alright, you're coming with me." He said gently, scooping you up in his arms. A sleepy protest tumbled from your lips, but you clung to him instinctively as he carried you back towards the elevator.

"Can we go to the beach?" You mumbled as the doors closed.

"The beach will be there in the morning." He replied, a hint of amusement in his voice. "It's almost five am."

A giggle escaped you. "Naked swim?"

He cleared his throat, the sound a little rough. You'd been a delightful firecracker all night, and he was struggling to keep his cool. "The shower's a much better option right now."

The elevator doors slid open, and with a sigh, he carried you out, your head chilling against his shoulder. He fumbled with his keycard, finally pushing the door open with his foot.

In the room, he gently laid you on the bed, the soft sheets making you relax and close your eyes.

For a moment, he stood there, watching you. The urge to pull you close, to feel your warmth against him, was killing him. But your vulnerability state held him back.

"Hey, love?" He said softly, his voice laced with concern. "Can I take off your shoes?"

You mumbled something incomprehensible but managed a weak nod. He carefully removed your heels, his fingers brushing against your ankle for a fleeting moment that sent a jolt through him.

"Maybe a shower would be good." He suggested, his voice gruff. "You'll sleep better."

"With you?" She asked him, excited.

Lando, still feeling the effects of alcohol, ran his fingers through his hair, feeling hot.

"You can't imagine how much I want to say yes... But no, not tonight." You pouted. Grabbing your hands, he pulled you up. "Ask me again tomorrow!"

He gently led you to the bathroom and helped you sit down. He waited for the water to warm up, and when it was ready, he turned around. Suddenly, Lando's breath caught in his throat.

Without him realising, you had taken off your clothes. You stood bathed in the soft glow, vulnerability etched on your face, wearing only your black lace lingerie.

He tore his gaze from you. His heart beat a frantic rhythm against his ribs, mimicking the feel of the alcohol in his veins. Only if you weren't drunk...

"Are you okay?" Your voice was so gentle and innocent, nothing like it normally sounded. You reached out and touched his back. He flinched the innocent gesture a powerful trigger for his already steaming desire.

"Y/N, please!" He pleaded. "If you keep touching me..." The sentence trailed off, the implication hanging heavy in the air. The more he looked at you, the more his willpower crumbled. Shame washed over him. "Love, just take a shower. You need to sober up." He gestured to a pile of clothes on the counter. "There are some of mine there. I'll be outside when you're done."

You stayed in the shower for a while, the hot water feeling good against your skin. You weren't completely sober, the world still held a gentle sway, but the edge of drunkenness had dimmed.

Stepping out, you wrapped yourself in a fluffy towel Lando had left out. 

As you dried your hair, you caught your reflection in the mirror. Even in the state of mind you were, you knew you were going to regret it in the morning. You put on the clothes he had left you and shoved the feeling down. 

Lando, scrolling through his phone on the bed, looked up when the bathroom door creaked open. Relief washed over him as he saw you wrapped in his clothes.

"Feeling better?" He asked. You offered a small nod, leaning weakly against the doorframe. The playful energy that had fueled you earlier had dimmed, replaced by exhaustion. "Good!" He said, a hesitant smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Sleepy?" You simply nodded again. He cleared his throat, the silence growing heavy in the room. "So... Are you comfortable sharing the bed, or...?"

"It's fine." You mumbled. A playful glint flickered in your eyes. "And I promise I won't, uh, bite."

Lando chuckled, the sound warm and genuine. "Don't get me wrong, love," He said, his voice dropping to a raspy whisper. "You could do whatever you wanted most nights, believe me. But not tonight."

He gestured to the empty spot beside him on the bed, inviting you to join him, an unspoken tension lingering in the air.

You waddled across the room, the oversized t-shirt hanging loosely on your body. Climbing onto the bed, you scooted closer to him, a nervous feeling running through you, despite the lingering effects of the alcohol still dancing through your veins.

"Can we at least...?" You trailed off, your voice barely a whisper. "You know... a goodnight kiss?

"You're a menace when you're drunk, you know that?" He teased, a playful sparkle in his eyes.

You batted your eyelashes in a way you knew usually worked. He sighed, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "Alright, alright!" He complied. "But on the cheek. Lips are off-limits tonight."

You couldn't help the grin that spread across your face. As he leaned in, the faint scent of his cologne filled your senses. He placed a soft kiss on your cheek, sending shivers down your spine.

"Goodnight, Y/N!" He murmured, his voice sending a flutter to your heart. "Hope you'll remember this tomorrow morning."

"Goodnight, race winner." You replied, a hint of sleepiness in your voice.

Sunlight pierced through the blinds, finding your eyelids and forcing them open with a groan. Your head felt like a maraca that had been shaken all night, and your mouth tasted like a desert. Sitting up cautiously, you winced at the throbbing in the back of your head.

Memories and fragments started to come back. The kiss, the club, the dancing, Lando's strong arm around you... and then... a complete blank. Panic started to rise in your chest. What had you done? Had you said something stupid or done something worse?

The bedroom door creaked open and Lando entered, a steaming mug of coffee in his hand. He looked like a vision with his rumpled hair and a smile breaking out on his face as soon as he saw you awake.

"Good morning, sunshine!" He said, his voice sounding awful to your pounding head.

"Don't yell!" You mumbled. "Water?"

He chuckled, handing you a bottle of water. He sat on the edge of the bed, his concern evident in his eyes. You took a grateful sip, the cool liquid easing the dryness in your throat.

"Do you remember anything from last night?" He asked you, sitting on the edge of the bed, his concern evident in his eyes.

You took a deep breath. "I remember... bits and pieces." You admitted, shame creeping up your cheeks. "Lando, I am sorry if I did something or said something wrong... I must have been awful. I was very, very drunk."

He shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "Honestly? I wish you felt that comfortable around me all the time." Lando reached out, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. His touch sent a jolt through you. "You know how much I like you... Y/n, I'm in love with you."

Your heart hammered against your ribs at his confession. A real and pure confession.

"Lando--" You breathed, your voice thick with emotion.

He took your hand in his, his eyes filled with a gentle understanding. "I know..." He said, his voice a soothing balm. "Just know that I'll wait for you. However long it takes." He squeezed your hand.

Tears welled up in your eyes. The years of running, of pushing him away, suddenly seemed pointless. All you wanted was to be here, with him.

Leaning forward, you met his gaze. Then, you cupped his face gently and placed a soft, sweet kiss on his lips. It was a kiss filled with apology and relief.

"I'm tired of running." You whispered against his lips. "I'm in love with you too. I've always have."

Lando couldn't help but grin as you hugged him. First, the win, then the kiss and now the girl of his dreams confessing her feelings. Yeah, you could definitely say it was a very good day for Lando No Wins.

"I love you, Y/n." You smiled, a genuine, heart-melting smile.

"I love you too, Lando." You knew, at that moment, hugging the person you had been in love with for years, that you were finally home.

[disneyprincemuke]

the schumacher problem * femdriver

pairings: mick schumacher x femdriver, logan sargeant x femdriver, oscar piastri x femdriver

notes: hi i skipped 2022 cause i was too lazy to write it <3

-> 2020

“come here, we need to introduce you to some people.”

“if you’re gonna jump scare me like that one time with david beckham. i’m not going to stand there like an idiot again. i’ve practiced and grown.”

“no, fuck face. we’re introducing you to your team next year. you know… prema? the team giving you a fighting chance in motorsport?”

“i will kick you out of my house, you know.”

“guys, this is the best friend we keep talking about!” oscar beams, jumping over to grab her wrist. he pulls her away from logan and puts a hand on her back, urging her to step forward. “she’s joining prema next year for her f3 career.”

“right, hi,” she smiles with a small nod. she takes a step back and one more towards oscar. “i’m really excited to work with you guys.”

“oh, hey! we’ve met before.” frederik steps forward and smiles. “at one of oscar and logan’s races.”

“how come i’ve never met her before?” a disembodied voice makes her lean slightly forward to peek over oscar’s shoulder. a wide smile and a pair of blue eyes are now looking at her. “you guys are hiding her from me or something?”

“yeah, mate. because we totally keep her in a dungeon cause she's not allowed other friends but us,” logan scoffs. he puts a hand on her back and pushes her a step forward. “you know mick, don’t you, (y/n)? schumacher.”

her back straightens. “oh. the schumacher?” she whispers, turning to logan with wide eyes. “like the man, the myth, the legend: michael schumacher’s son? mick schumacher?”

oscar raises an eyebrow. “i told you we were in prema with mick. what is wrong with you?”

“i don’t know. what do i say to him?”

“mate, i thought you said you practiced?” logan snorts, one hand over his mouth to contain his laughter. “why are you freezing up now?”

“nepotism goes kinda hard. i’m a big fan of him and his dad. this is not the same as the david beckham situation.”

“you’re kinda cute, aren’t you?”

simultaneously, the three best friends turn their head to the german with his head tilted to the side. “me?” she asks, pointing a finger to her chest. she looks around for any other person he could be talking about before settling to look at him again. “you think i’m cute?”

“pretty sure,” frederik smiles with a nod. “it would be kind of awkward if he was talking about oscar, right?”

oscar shrugs. “my girlfriend tells me i’m pretty cute.”

“not the same, dude,” logan mutters. he looks down at her and smacks her shoulder. “hey, snap out of it!”

frederik glances at mick, whose smile has grown a lot more since the redness on her cheeks crept up and she’s resigned to hiding behind oscar’s shoulder. he’s just about to say something when another figure walking into the room catches his attention.

frederik beams and throws his arm up into the air. he grabs her shoulders and forces her to turn around. “oh, robert’s over there! robert! we want you to meet somebody!”

“hey, great qualifying run.” she turns around and unclips her helmet.

“oh, mick,” she smiles with a nod. she puts her helmet between her legs and fixes her hair. “thank you. i didn’t know you were watching — i thought you were preparing for your own race.”

“i had some extra time,” mick smiles at her. he points to the helmet. “do you need some help? i can help you with that.”

“no, it’s ok-“ she smiles when mick presses his lips into a thin line. “yeah, i need some help. thank you.”

she reaches between her legs and offers mick her helmet. he takes into her hands and steps back, gesturing towards the end of parc ferme.

“so, uh,” she sighs, looking around. “where’s oscar?”

“getting ready for the race.”

“so why aren’t you doing the same?” she shrieks, brushing her hands through her hair. she tries to untangle her hair as they walk. “complacent?”

“not complacent. i know i’m good,” mick grins with a soft giggle. “anyway, are you doing anything tonight? um, after the race?”

she hums, brushing all of her hair over to one shoulder. “ice cream with logan and oscar.”

“you quite like your ice cream, it seems. i heard you guys always get ice cream after your races,” mick grins. “what’s your favourite flavour?

“rocky road with marshmallows.”

“but doesn’t rocky road already have marshmallows?”

“yeah.”

“interesting.”

“it’s really good. if you want, you can join us tonight. i’m sure they don’t mind.”

"really? are you sure?"

"yeah! then tell me your verdict on my favourite ice cream pairing. you'll love it, i swear."

"good luck on your race!"

logan looks up from his phone, scowling slightly at the driver in red standing outside the garage. he raises an eyebrow, watching her beam and walk over towards the entrance.

"hey, mick," she laughs, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "wow, i'm starting to see you a lot in my garage. i'd say it's becoming a habit."

"just wanted to wish you luck in person," mick smiles, leaning against the wall. he folds his arms over his chest and leans his weight on one leg as he looks down at her. "confident to make it into the top 10?"

"hopefully. i'm feeling good today," she nods, wide eyes staring up at mick. she has her hands clasped behind her back as she converses with the older driver. "who knows? i might even win the race."

"oh, definitely. i'll be rooting for you."

"thanks, i need that." she takes a step back. "i need to finish my race prep. i'll see you right before your race? the least i can do is wish you luck in person too, since you came all this way."

"okay. make sure you're there - else, i won't start my race without your luck."

she laughs, stepping back and waving as the german walks away. she turns around with a roll of her eyes and a giddy grin on her face. logan, having watched the entire interaction not too far from them, has put his phone down on his lap.

"you know he likes you," logan says, pointing a finger at her. she looks down at him, clueless clearly written all over her face. "you know that, right? there's no way you don't know that."

she hums, raising her eyebrows and then furrowing them. "what are you talking about?"

"he literally has an f2 race to prep for and he walked all the way here to wish you luck," logan explains, unsure of how she's oblivious to the fact. "he could have just texted you. he has your number, doesn't he?"

"i don't think it's as deep as you make it out to be, logan," she shrugs. "you would've done the same."

"yeah, but we literally have been racing against one another for years. we live together!" logan throws his head back, smacking his forehead in frustration. "that's different!"

she presses her lips together and looks off into the distance. "i don't think it's that serious, mate."

logan just shrugs, sinking into his seat as he rolls his eyes. "whatever you wanna believe."

"hey, wait up!"

oscar turns his head before her, raising an eyebrow as he watches mick run towards them with something in his hands. "hey?" oscar mutters in confusion.

"hi," mick greets him quickly, before turning to the girl standing next to him. "i was at the interview table and they were giving out popsicles. i thought you might appreciate it more than me."

she looks down at it. "oh, thank you. are you sure? i mean... mick... this is yours."

"i don't really like popsicles," mick shrugs, continuing to offer her the cold refreshment. "it's grape. it's really good."

"if it's really go-"

"just take it."

"alright," she nods, taking the popsicle into her hands hesitantly. "do you want something in return? i've got a twix bar in my bag, but it's-"

"i'll see you later! i have an interview i'm late for, actually. just wanted to give you that," mick says hurriedly. he pats her shoulder before he turns and darts off from the direction he initially came from.

she slowly turns to look at oscar, who's got an equally confused stare, looking down at her with a small scowl on his face. "what was that about?"

oscar shrugs. "i don't know, but you should eat that popsicle before it starts melting."

the resume their walk in silence, not fully processing the event that happened too quick for them to consume. she's eating the popsicle now, eyes still squinted in confusion.

"i've been looking for popsicles everywhere and no one can tell me where to get one! everyone in the prema garage has one for some reason," logan screams, approaching her with his hands on his hips. "where did you get yours? why do you have one? is this a sick prank someone is pulling on me?"

she shrugs. "mick gave this to me."

logan slumps his shoulders. "mick gave that to you?"

"yeah," she nods. "interview table or something, he said."

"i was just there! there were no popsicles there!"

oscar looks between his best friends as he sports a growing smile. slowly, he starts bubbling with laughter, clutching his stomach as he points at her. "oh, my god! you're so stupid!"

"what?"

"mick has a crush on you!" oscar screams. "you've got the epitome of nepotism crushing on you! that's so cute!"

"that's what i told her like weeks ago!" logan points out. "give me that popsicle - i deserve it more than you do."

"oh, piss off!" she screams, swiftly running behind oscar and swatting logan's hands away from her. "i'm sure there's a freezer filled with popsicles in the garage somewhere. you'll find yours."

"no way! mick definitely has a stash dedicated for you! i've only seen red popsicles. i want the grape one!" logan runs around oscar, eager to take the popsicle in the younger girl's hands. "give it to me - he'll give you another one!"

-> 2021

"hey, congrats on the podium."

"thank you- oh, mick! don't you have your debut race to be preparing for?"

"i just wanted to drop by and congratulate you," mick grins. he steps back, scanning her new look in the red race suit he used to sport as well. "red looks good on you."

"it does, doesn't it?" she smiles, twirling with her arms stretched out. "i have to admit - i'm not sure haas colours are yours."

"hey. that's mean."

"maybe i'm just not used to it," she shrugs. she swings her helmet in her hands. "can i watch the race from your garage? you reckon gunther would let me?"

mick laughs, waving off her concerns. "of course, he loves you! just meet me in the garage when you're done? i'll get you a spot."

"okay!"

she waves as he turns to walk away, making one last comment about how he'll be waiting for her before disappearing into the crowd.

"oi, fuck face."

"will it kill you to be nice to me for once, logan?"

"are you sure about this?" she raises her eyebrows, looking down at the white car with her lips pressed together. "what if i crash this? it's your car."

"don't think so much about it," mick shrugs, hands on his hips as he watches her clutch onto her helmet for dear life. "it's just another car. you've driven an f1 car before, haven't you?"

"once during crash testing. that's not the same!"

"not much of a difference." mick pushes her towards the car and grins. "come on, free practice is about to start. get inside - i didn't beg gunther for nothing."

she looks at him from the corner of her eyes. "okay, but if i crash, don't hold it against me."

"i did kinda force you to test drive my car. no hard feelings if you crash," mick shrugs. "just don't die."

"oh, we'll see about that last part," she sighs, pulling her helmet down her head. "i think about that often - you know, cause i've lived with oscar and logan for like almost half of my life at this point."

"oh, you're leaving the paddocks alone tonight? did the powerpuff trio get into a fight or something?" mick teases, catching up to her as she taps her card against the reader.

"no, um," she laughs, "lily is in town for oscar and logan's got a date. no way i'm third-wheeling oscar and lily tonight."

mick nods, pressing his lips together. in his head, gears are already turning in his head. true, he finds her cute. but it's not like he can do anything.

she seems very dead set on her racing career.

"i don't actually have anything planned for tonight," he clears his throat. he takes a deep breath, unsure of how she will take his offer. "do you maybe wanna grab some dinner? there's this restaurant nearby that seb always raves about."

he sighs in relief when her face lights up. "really? can we get ice cream too? i was gonna drop by this store near my hotel and eat it while i watch a show - i always have ice cream after my race. i'm not stopping today."

"yeah, there's this ice cream parlour close by," mick nods. actually, he looked into spots in the area when he saw oscar leaving the paddocks with lily and logan rushing to leave by himself 20 minutes ago.

he had it all planned out. "so, what do you say?" he lifts up his car keys. "you can drive if you want."

she gasps, reaching out for the car keys in his hands. "seriously? i get to drive your super expensive car that i know, for a fact, you never let anyone else drive?"

mick nods. "is that a yes?"

she nods excitedly, hopping slightly as she follows him towards where his car is parked. she puts her hand on the door handle right before she goes in. "you must like me if you're letting me drive your car."

he laughs nervously, eyes widening as he opens the door from the passenger side. it seems that she's catching on somehow. "get in before i change my mind."

"what the hell are you guys doing?"

her and mick, sitting with their backs against the bed frame, merely inches away from the small screen of her nintendo switch in the cramped hotel room turns to the kiwi at the entryway of her hotel room. they've got controllers in their hands, focused on the game on the tiny screen.

"i'm beating mick at mario kart."

"not true," mick mutters. "i'm letting her win after she cried about retiring from her race today."

"you cried?" logan throws his head back, pushing past liam and oscar who are further into the room. he slips his shoes off before jumping on her bed. "are you okay?"

"i didn't cry. i had something in my eye and now mick is telling everyone i cried," she scoffs. "also, i'm beating him fair and square."

"well, uh," liam trails off, holding up two bags. "we got the alcohol you asked us to get on the way back from the track. sorry for your dnf, mate."

"yeah, whatever," she mutters.

"i was talking to mick."

"oh, ok."

"i'm used to it," mick shakes his head. "hey, stop pushing me! you're cheating!"

"it's a power-up!"

"you're pushing me in real life, mate!"

oscar has already hopped over her bed, rummaging her suitcase in silence. "where's the extra controllers? i wanna play too."

liam looks at logan with a small smile, seeing that their friends would be busy with other matters. "tequila?"

logan glances at the pair sitting with their shoulders touching, shoving each other periodically to throw one another off from their game. he looks at liam. "a full shot."

-> 2023

"don't you have a mercedes to be with?" she teases as the door opens, chewing on the inside of her cheek as the german stands at the door. "what are you doing here?"

mick raises an eyebrow. "you literally crashed. i just wanted to see if you're okay."

she smiles. "thank you. i'm okay." she looks down and chomps down on her twix bar as mick takes the empty spot next to sebastian on the couch. "isn't toto looking for you?"

"no, he was asking me to check in on you," mick grins. "is there anything i can help you with? food, drinks, anything?"

"look at the food surrounding her," sebastian laughs, gesturing at the packets of snacks and drinks by her thighs. "i don't think she needs any more food than this."

mick looks at the older man. "i didn't ask you."

she giggles, rolling her eyes. "i'm okay, thank you." she grabs a packet of doritos not too far from her and extends her arm towards them. "snack while we wait for the doctor to come back with my results?"

mick nods, cupping his hands as he awaits the packet. "have oscar and logan come around to find you yet?"

"not yet. these are the ones sebastian brought me from my emergency stash in my garage."

"your what in your garage?"

sebastian sighs, nodding. "she has an emergency stash of snacks in the garage for emergencies. i guess she had a point when she did that because i didn't have to look far for those."

"interesting."

"what are you two kids whispering about over there?"

she straightens her back from her hunched position in the corner, turning to sebastian with a small and guilty grin. the man in white next to her, also turns to him with wide eyes.

"hi, seb."

"what are you doing in our garage? shouldn't you be in mercedes with toto and susie?"

"i'm on my lunch break," mick smiles, wiping his lips from the brown residue of the chocolate they'd been indulging in previously. "i just brought her something."

sebastian narrows his eyes. "then why are you hiding it from me?"

"no reason," she shrugs, moving slightly towards mick to hide what's behind them from sebastian's sight. "you should go for your meeting, seb."

"you're being very suspicious. what's behind you?"

she shakes her head. "nothing." she looks up at mick and taps his hand. "tell him it's nothing."

"nothing," mick says immediately, pressing his lips into a thin line. "you don't wanna find out."

sebastian sighs. "you didn't bring her rocky road ice cream, did you?"

mick's eyes widen, a confession almost spilling past his lips at his guess. she quickly cuts him off and shakes her head profusely. "of course not! you and noah told me to stop eating ice cream before my races, so of course i'm not eating ice cream."

"i literally see chocolate at the corner of your lips."

"i'm sorry! she wouldn't stop texting me about craving for rocky road and marshmallows!" mick sighs in shame, dropping his head to avoid sebastian's stern stare.

"i told you to stop eating ice cream before a race! it gives you a tummy ache every time! what makes you think this time will be different?"

mick lifts his head with a proud smile. "it's lactose intolerant friendly."

"really?" she coos, turning to him with a bright smile. "that's so nice - where did you get that?"

"i found it in the store when george and i were-"

"stop giving her ice cream before her race!"

she follows sebastian through the crowd, keeping her head low to avoid getting spotted by the cameras. she's got one last media commitment to head to before she can follow carlos and lando to the nightclub nearby.

hands grabs her shoulders, prompting her look up. "mick!"

"i've been looking for you everywhere!" mick smiles. "congrats on the podium!"

"thank you!" she smiles, wrapping her arms around him for a hug immediately. "you're joining us at the club after, right?"

"of course. congrats again, mate." he wraps his arms around her, squeezing her and twirling her around.

"kid, come on! we don't have time!" sebastian grunts, turning around to tug her out of mick's grasp. "talk to mick later!"

"okay, okay!" she shrieks, letting sebastian pull her away. she turns around to wave at mick. "i'll see you in the club! get me a drink, okay!"

"i don't get it!" she shrieks, thumbs spamming the buttons of her controller as her eyes fill with tears. "what am i supposed to do?"

"no, just wash the dishes. i'm making the food," mick says calmly, jaw locked as he focuses on the item on the screen. "just wash the dishes."

"mate, are you stupid?" liam screams, one thumb pressing a button as he smacks oscar on the back. "we're losing to mick and (y/n)! we can't let that happen!"

"how about instead of screaming at me, mate, you actually chop up some stupid potatoes! this is why we're losing - you keep micromanaging me!" oscar screams at liam, finally losing his cool.

he had tried to play overcooked as calmly as mick, but it clearly isn't working when he is paired up with liam. logan, sitting at the table, fingers covered in glue with small tears of paper laid around him scoffs.

"thanks for the help, guys. i really appreciate that we're all working on the trophy for the race we're having this weekend," logan speaks monotonously.

"i'm not participating," oscar says.

"in a bit, lo," she mutters, smiling at him momentarily before returning her attention to the screen. "oh, mick, there's a fucking fire! did i cause that? how do i put it out?"

"calm down," mick laughs, his character running around to find the fire extinguisher. "i've got it. just keep washing the dishes."

"oscar! the fucking potatoes!"

"liam, you cunt, you haven't even thrown me a fucking potato! where is the potato? oh, would you look at that? it's in your hands!"

"yeah, i was gonna cut them myself cause you're as good as nothing in this stupid game! next game, i wanna be paired up with mick!"

"no way. i'm having the time of my life," mick scoffs, rolling his eyes as he sends in another order. "we're having so much fun, aren't we, (y/n)?"

"sure."

"what if we just didn't have a trophy for the scooter race?"

liam and her turn to the american, frowning. "no!"

taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @vellicora @leilanixx @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @cashtons-wife @sadg3 @a10vely-yutazen @mellowarcadefun @glitterf1 @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @gentlyweeps-world @woozarts @inejismywife @meadhgbcavanagh @2bormaybenot @love4lando

honourable mention: @localwhoore

[whirlybirbs]

BEYOND THE VOID — !

1. THE BEGINNING OF THE END.

( MASTERPOST   |   AO3  |    SPOTIFY ) summary: torn from time yet again, it's thursday. six months pass. while you grapple with a newfound uncanny ability to premeditate, loki grapples with the fact he's slipping back into his old self without you. enter brad wolfe. now playing:  a whole lots gonna change by weyes blood word count: 3.3k pairing: loki / f!reader, established in from the void, with love tags: enemies to friends to lovers, soulmates, we-are-in-love-in-the-future but how did that even happen, angst & comfort, redemption arc, lots of time travel, loki season 2 (2020) spoilers a/n: finally, they return in "beyond the void". i can't thank everyone enough for the unending enthusiasm for this little project of mine. it's fitting to have the first chapter release with an eclipse. this is for all of you :) the beautiful gif for this chapter is from this set by @tomshiddles.

"Okay."

"Okay."

There's a long stretch of silence between Darcy Lewis and Jane Foster. 

In the liminal stretch of the apartment building's hall, there's little sound except the loud drone of some horribly, desperately sad song beyond the door of Unit 1131. The two women share a long look with one another, and then Darcy gestures urgently to the door.

"Go ahead," she nudges her colleague. 

"What?" Jane asks in a harsh whisper, "No, you knock." 

"You were the one that said we needed to do an intervention—" Darcy argues back in an equally low tone.

"Oh, so now this is on me?" Jane fires back, "She's our friend—"

"Our friend who has been babbling nonsense about things that have not happened and has been seriously obsessing with that Low-key dude—" Darcy rushes out, bringing her face closer to Jane's, "I don't even know what we're walking into here!"

Jane inhales. She pinches her brow. With a long rub of her face, she exhales. Then, she knocks.

She gives Darcy a 'happy?' look before stepping back and crossing her arms.

Almost immediately, the music stops. There's the sound of a shuffle. A meow. And then, the door opens only wide enough that one exhausted eye can peak through the chained gap.

"Heeeeeeeeeey, girl!" Darcy chides, waggling her hands in the air, "Surprise!"

On the other side of the door, your heart clenches. 

It feels a little bit like a cruel joke, y'know?

All that wishing, begging, clawing to go home and — well... you are. You're home. You've been home. For six months, you've been home in New York City. You're back in that little studio apartment, with Sigurd, with your research, with your doctorate. 

ALL I WANT  TO DO IS  GO HOME.

You try your best to give both Darcy and Jane a smile, but it comes out mangled and exhausted and not quite right. You've been crying. Sort of par for the course these days.

"Oh, uh... Hi guys."

Sigurd meows.

"You got a sec?" Jane asks, raising a folder in her hands, "We, uh... Erik gave us some new anomaly data to look over and we figured... you're the one for the job! Y'know? It's... kinda... your thing... have you been crying?"

Your eyes dart between them both. You wet your lips.

"No. Nooo, no. It's..." your mouth hangs open as you search for a reason, "...Allergies."

There's a beat of embarrassing silence, and then Darcy moves fast as lightning. She wriggles her arm through the gap and unlocks the chain — almost as if this is definitely something she's mastered before — before pushing her way through the doorway of your apartment. Jane follows close behind, and Sigard squawks as he scurries away from underfoot. 

The infiltration is almost immediately regretted because... woah. 

Like, big woah.

Darcy has seen crazy. Like, she has an Uncle on her Dad's side who is totally in on the whole "they're coming for our thoughts" thing and does not leave the house without at least six layers of Great Value tinfoil stuffed under his baseball cap. She knows crazy. She works for Erik Selvig. 

But this?

This is, like, soooooo above her pay grade. 

Jane's jaw is slack. The folder is immediately forgotten on the kitchen island in favor of the wall-to-wall documentation of... whatever the hell this was. 

LOKI MISSING? in the center of it all, with string and equations and runes and news articles and tabloid pages. There's an alarming amount of photos of the God in question pinned up beside ramblings on... Time? And... Quantum mechanics...? 

There's another loooooong stretch of silence. And then, Darcy and Jane both turn slowly to look at you pressed against the door.

You swallow.

Your face is set in horror.

"It's not what it looks like—"

"Uh, dude, it totally is what it looks like—" Darcy starts, stepping closer to the board and pointing a black, manicured finger at a paparazzi photo of Loki being carted off from the now-Avengers Tower, "What's with all the Loki paraphernalia?! Need I post a lil' throwback Thursday to when he tried to kill us all?"

IT'S THURSDAY AGAIN.

You wince. "You wouldn't understand—"

Then, it happens.

The same thing you've experienced dozens upon dozens of times these last six months happens again: A rush of chatter in your mind, a cacophony of whispers that claw at your thoughts and flood them with has-beens and will-be's. A million things all at once, a little bit of everything from all of time, and then— one thread. One thread that stands out against them all. 

"Jane, don't."

Across the room, Jane's fingers pause on the contact number for that pretty S.H.I.E.L.D. agent they've met once or twice now — the one who is managing the Asgardian anomaly cases. With Loki missing, S.H.I.E.L.D. has been desperate to track him down. If this is a lead... If you know where he is...

Jane's face freezes.

Her brows knit.

Your face is split in panic. "I know you think calling Agent Hill is the right thing to do, but—"

"...How did you know I was...?" Jane's voice falls off, her eyes searching your face.

Your voice splinters as you step forward. "If you call Agent Hill, she is going to section our entire division within the week. Thor will be exiled from Earth on conspiracy four days later. We will sit in a cell for five years until they decide we have nothing to do with Loki's disappearance from Asgard."

Darcy's eyes bounce between you and Jane.

"Why are you saying all that like you know it's going to happen?" Jane asks slowly, putting her phone down and closing the gap between you. "Doc, what's going on?"

Your eyes flicker with fear. 

And then exhaustion. The walls you've built to keep this away from the others crumble with one worried look from Darcy, and you crumple against the kitchen counter. 

Your voice is far away.

"It all started that Thursday."

You thought it would be better now that someone knows. 

Truth be told it might be more trouble than it's worth if not to soothe the burden of secrecy — because Darcy keeps treating you like a Magic 8 Ball that, when shaken, is going to spit out readings on the future. 

It isn't that easy. I mean, if it was, you would have definitely done everything in your power to avoid the commute traffic this morning. 

You don't know why it happens. Or how. You have a theory it has something to do with Alioth, but... without any sort of control, there's no way of knowing. All you know is that in those moments, you're presented with a weave of potential sequences. And in those moments, you can choose to act. Or not. 

So far, acting seems to be the best course of action. 

But, yea, no. No fortune-cookie-level stuff. No crystal ball, no tarot cards. Just... weird time-whispers. And a migraine that seems to never go away. And dreams. Really vivid dreams. Dreams that happen? And dreams that don't.

If it was a horoscope sort of thing, maybe you wouldn't have missed your morning bus after waiting in line at that coffee shop three blocks down. They always make your coffee a little too bitter, but the girl behind the counter is an NYU grad student you recognized from a mechanical engineering lecture you sat in on three months ago. You've got a soft spot for her. She's always nice to that guy in the baseball cap who seems unhoused. 

You hope it all works out for her in the end. 

But, Christ this coffee is bitter. 

You buzz into Stark Labs at 9:37 am, and you're setting your stuff down at R&D by 9:43 am. 

Bruce Banner looks up briefly from his work to slide you a welcoming smile. You return it gently as you settle down on your stool and reacclimate yourself to last week's work. 

Mondays, man.

Tony is, as always, later than anyone else. His entrance is followed by the usual boisterous chatter meant as a morale booster. More often than not it's a genius-level comedy routine built on absolutely torturing Dr. Banner. You opt, more often than not, to refuse to enable the bad behavior. 

Any laughter is buried deep into these readings from the Tesseract. 

And so this has been home for the last four months. 

Avengers Tower. R&D. Erik Selvig's Research Team. Theoretical Physics and Quantum Mechanics. Day in, day out.

No TVA, no TemPads, no Sylvie, no Mobius, no Capybaras. 

...No Loki.

But, plenty of whispers. 

It rocks you out of your focus, iced latte halfway to your lips as you're rooted in this little pocket of voices and threads and whisps of time. There's a thousand, then a hundred, then one. 

Your voice is soft.

"Bruce, try the equation again."

From across the room, Tony's voice dies down and Bruce's eyes rise to meet yours. He points to himself, with a questioning raise of the brows.

You nod, then continue to take a sip of your coffee.

And so Bruce does. Wordlessly. And, after a minute, he looks up with a grin.

"So it was right."

"Woulda never known if Iron Dick over here didn't shut up for one second."

Tony's grin is bigger than Bruce's as he meanders over to your lab table and throws an arm around your shoulder. He squeezes you gently. You avoid his eye contact — and in doing so, you miss the momentary grace of concern. 

(Tony has known you for a few months now. He knows you adequately enough to gauge that your triple-shot espresso should have been a sextuple. The bags beneath your eyes are dark. There's an edge there. Something jumpy. You're exhausted.)

"Now, that was mean."

"You're torturing him," you fire back lightly, non-the-wiser to his scrutiny. 

"It's called exposure therapy—" Tony croons, leaning back and thumbing through some of the notes on your desk. You allow it. 

Good. Still sharp. Still better than anyone else at what you do. 

"Exposure to workplace terrorism?" You rib back with one cocked brow, "No offense, Bruce, but I like you better not green. Okay, Tony?"

"None taken!" Dr. Banner calls lightly from across the room. He's working on the second part of that equation now. 

"Sure, sure, alright, Doc," Tony heads your words, raising both hands and stepping back, "I guess someone hates fun."

"Absolutely," you say blankly, chewing your straw; you point at him, "No laughter."

"None," Tony waggles a finger.

"Not a peep," you remark causally as you spin in your stool and snag your pen from the drawer behind you. 

"Any news on the other green guy we hate?" Bruce asks slowly, eyes bouncing between you and Stark. 

Your blood goes a little cold. Just like always. It's hard not to react — especially when that other green guy is all you think about day and night.

WHEN YOU LOSE HIM YOU WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET HIM BACK. 

You wordlessly shake your head. You shrug. Bruce turns to Stark. Tony is hunched over his bench. His words are a bit muffled by the soldering project he's turned his attention to. 

"None. According to Thor he just up and poofed. He was in the middle of atoning before the Buckingham of Asgard and... just warped on out."

So you've heard.

"Hill has been working every lead she can but... the Asgardians are a little touchy-feely on the whole 'earthlings in the domain of the Gods' thing."

"Understandable," you mutter absently.

Tony sits up. "Only time will tell."

...Indeed.

Home.

Unit 1131. 

Lonely.

It wasn't before all this... It was full to the brim with contentment. It was comfort, it was bliss. It was indulgent mornings slept beneath the covers and bright music in the kitchen. Cheap wine from the liquor shop on the corner and homemade meals. It was "I finally made it". 

Now, it's none of that.

Because he's out there — and you know that you don't belong here anymore.

You drop your bag by the door. 

Your boots follow in a trail. 

Sigurd mews expectantly, and you scoop him wordlessly into your arms as you weave through the chaos of papers and books. Your carpet is hidden beneath a layer of obsession masquerading as research.

But, there's one thing that pulls you back in each time.

It's that photo. 

The one Darcy had pointed at earlier.

Loki is being carted off from the now-Avengers Tower. He's looking back at something, and his expression is broken.

It's you.

You know he's pleading with Thor at that moment through a muzzle, desperate to call your name. He's looking at you, being whisked away by S.H.I.E.L.D. as they clear the area, and your voice is silenced by grief. 

You wish you had called out to him then — told him you'd find him again. 

Regret is a hell of a thing.

Grief, too. 

How do you mourn something you never really had? Not here, not in this timeline. 

So you stand there, in the dim lights of your apartment, staring at the photo. And you cry. Just like every night, for the last six months.

In your desk, that magical little daisy made of grass waits.

If they find Sylvie, they find you.

That's the mission.

Mobius M. Mobius thinks it's funny — back then, man if only he would have known that lil' hunch of his was right. Maybe a part of him did. And... Now? Things are different. I mean, everything is different. The TVA is different. 

Loki is different.

They say to be loved is to be changed an' all that. 

The first thing out of Loki's mouth was your name when Mobius finally saw him again — and then a word vomit of panic, induced by the death of He Who Remains and... time-slippage as OB called it. Lotsa moving parts. Lots to keep track of. But, ultimately, they're in a better spot than they were yesterday. 

1.) Loki is no longer falling through the metaphorical cracks in time. 

2.) Mobius did not get toasted alive when standing before The Loom.

3.) He never, ever, ever has to do that again.

And now!

They're in London. 

1977, huh. Zaniac. 

If they find Sylvie, they find you.

...Unless you find him first.

Loki isn't exactly thrilled. 

No, Loki knows better than to get his hopes up. Sylvie isn't here. He already told Mobius that. It's too safe. It's a damned movie premiere. There are no radiation burns, no falling stars, and no rampant gunfire. It's too quiet. 

It's a movie premiere and you're out there, somewhere, alone. You're... you're lost. He can't protect you here. He can't protect anything. You... You're all he has and you're gone. 

And he's here, wasting his damn time. 

Brad Wolfe is about to waste more of his time. 

Loki's gaze is sharp. His strides are long, and as they approach the fray, the God stands amongst the tallest of guests. He cuts a mean profile. It's times like these that Mobius remembers he is a God.

(It's times like these that Mobius can also see the ever-increasing edge in his partner-in-time. It's a little... worrisome. But understandable. I mean, rip a God's soulmate from his hands and see what happens, right?)

"So, he's an actor now?" Loki comments off-handedly, his irritation grating his heartstrings in a way that reminds him of who he was before all this. He hates it. But, he's angry. He will get you back. Without you...

Without you, he doesn't know what he'll do.

"Or he's undercover."

As they weave, Loki's brows knot in distrust. "Looks pretty real to me."

It smells like cigarettes and perfume, and the flashbulbs bite sharply into Loki's peripherals. The raven-haired trickster winces, tucking his hands into his slacks. 

On the red carpet, X-5 moves from interview to interview. Occasionally his laughter rises above the clamor. Each time, Loki's nostrils flare and he rolls his eyes. 

It's when he reaches the end of the line that Mobius moves in. 

"Will there be a Zaniac Two?" 

The look on Brad's face says enough for Mobius to know there's more going on here than just an undercover bit. Brad's laugh, as equally pained as his smile, just cements the fact. 

"Mobius! Woah!" A clap on the shoulder, a big hug. "I used to work with this guy!"

Still a show. Still a weasel trying to survive on his little slice of time. 

"We're going to need to catch up," he begins, backing up slowly, "You know, why don't we chat after the show?"

"How about now, maybe?" Mobius counters just as Brad turns on his heel and comes face to face with Loki. 

The God sneers.

"Woah. Okay, ha, whole gangs here!" he chirps, "Isn't that... great? Wow. I mean, you look — you look great, Loki."

"Why thank you, Brad."

Brad's eyes are manic, and he's searching the crowd quickly — no doubt looking for an exit. Then, they catch something. When Brad claps his hands together and pats them on both Loki and Mobius' shoulders, the two TVA agents pause.

"Everything alright?" Loki asks, head tilting in faux concern.

"Everything is great, actually, because when I was here," he begins, words quick and anxious as he tries to weave some sort of story, "I met a mutual friend!"

"Sylvie?" Mobius asks tightly.

"No, no, uh, better—"

Loki's jaw tightens. Enough of this. "We have some mutual friends back at the TVA who would like a word, as well—"

"Doc!" calls Brad after finally finding her in the sea of people, turning on his heel and calling out over his shoulder, "I got people I need you to meet!"

And just like that, it's like Loki's whole world splits wide open again.

In the fray of photographers and journalists, in the fray of drinks and the haze of smoke, there's you. You're smiling at Brad, positively beaming. You're bright as a star and Gods, there's no one in the room when you step forward with a laugh.

Your dress is green. Your hair is different.

There's a beauty mark on your left cheek. His version of you has a scar that lies there. A mistimed gift from Sylvie before their period on Lamentis. 

"Doc, these are some of my friends from work," Brad points, his hand falling along your waist in a way that makes Loki's blood boil; the ex-TVA Hunter leans close to your cheek, "They're the real deal."

You laugh into your drink, then extend your hand to Mobius. He's trying his best to hide his growing dread. "It's a pleasure."

Mobius takes it and shakes it gently. "And how do you have the pleasure of knowing our starlet, Brad?"

Damn it. He's losing Loki in real time here.

"Doc here did all the practical effects on set for Zaniac," Brad's eyes connect with Loki's — but the God is focused on only you... Her. Until Wolfe digs in with a low murmur meant to do just what it does, "She's a real wiz with her hands."

The God's face snaps. He will kill Brad, he decides. But, then this other-you moves to offer her hand and he can't help but melt. 

His fingers are trembling when he touches her skin. 

"Have we met before?" comes the soft lilt of her voice — this Variant's eyes are brown. They search Loki's face for a shred of recognition but all that's there between the two of them is raw attraction. A law of time and space unhindered by meddling hands. No matter where, no matter when, you will find one another.

Loki's mouth is dry. Your lipstick shade is a dark rogue. He thinks about that kiss back in the Void. He's stuck there, with your hand in his, when Brad bolts.

Her face contorts in confusion. She pulls away. But, Loki lingers. 

He has to... He...

He needs you back.��

Now. 

[peppertaemint]

The other day, an Anon for @reflections-in-a-critical-eye asked about SHINee 2Min lore, and Anon was referred here for further info, lol. Well, I'm not sure there is lore per se, but I can give a mini rear-view mirror take on 2Min.

Spoiler: here's 2023 Minho staring at Taemin.

The early years give a beautiful vibe of dongsaeng/hyung puppy love. They're just absolutely adorable. Minho is Taemin's closest hyung in age, and Minho has mentioned that until Taemin showed up, he was the baby.

Shippers call this moment c. 2010 the "Koala Hug." 2Min were celebrating Minho doing an extreme vaulting challenge. Yes, you read that right.

However, that vibe eventually gets tinged by SM playing with Taemin's gender presentation.

When Taemin is given extensions and suddenly bombarded with men telling him he looks like a woman etc, Minho is one of the people to confidently say that Taemin is "pretty to begin with" so there is nothing to be done about it. I always read that as him almost being prideful over it; Minho definitely likes the idea of Taemin being prettier than girl groups or his work beating out that of girl groups (read into that how you want, lol), but I think he liked Taemin exactly how he was from the get go, which is cry-inducing really.

Here's Taemin wearing Minho's father's scarf c. 2012. Okay, I guess that's pretty "lore" -ish.

If you were to go back and look at shipper blogs and live journals from 2013/2014, you would see some 2Min fans getting upset that their ship has sunk. There was this idea that when Taemin became an adult, he put away childish things (and non cis-het things) and that included Minho (lol). Many perceived Taemin had switched to a more manly look/concept, and/or that he really wanted to shed his gender neutral or ambiguous traits/looks.

Dream Girl was uh, really something.

It's true that in 2013, we see a more boyish Taemin versus Sherlock Taemin. He's also older and filling out and indeed, becoming a young adult. Interestingly, he does We Got Married (let's not go there) and goes on to start his solo career in 2014.

But I think what this "lore," or shipper narrative, reveals is how easy it was for shippers to slot 2Min into a sailing ship because they perceived Taemin to be more feminine to Minho's masculine, thus upholding heteronormative ideas of romance even in a supposedly gay "couple" - a common trait of same-sex shipping that although nuanced by certain cultural factors is still often a staple of same-sex shipping and related fanworks.

Fast-forwarding to mid-2018, we have a clingy if uneven 2Min. By the end of 2019, we have a somewhat wistful 2Min who like to attend each other's events and make grand gestures in front of the crowd.

In late 2020, we have Minho driving for hours on the day of his discharge, in uniform, to head directly to Taemin's taping for Idea at one of the TV networks in Korea. The rest of SHINee are there, and they treat us to an IG live of their reunion. 2Min are cute and a little cuddly - it's clear they missed one another. 🥹

2018 2Min have great hair colors.

What were 2021 2Min like? Friendly, feisty, and in the end, a little romantic/bromantic (pick your poison). 2Min fighting or annoying one another happened, but by the time Taemin enlisted, it was clear Minho was an emotional rock for him to some degree. And when Taemin was unwell, it was Minho who spoke to us first and then began updating us at the 14th anniversary party, with Key and Onew also speaking.

2021 2Min was also this level crazy

So, we reach the present. What are 2Min's vibes these days?

A little hands-on. Rather comfortable. Even Steven. Affectionate.

They're getting along so famously everyone is noticing.

And they're just very very cute.

There's so much more I could say, but I hope this is a good welcome aboard the good ship 2Min. The ship has strong winds and calm waters after 15+ years at sea.😌

[allegroart]

I recently opened up a Comicfury account! I'm slowly but surely adding all of my Bug Fables comics onto there, just to be on the safe side (it's mostly because I also post my comics on Twitter, and Twitter is very, uh. Gestures.). I'm currently updating a page a day, starting with my very first Bug Fables comic I made back in...May 2020. Oh god. Oh god.

I'll remind you guys about my Comicfury as each new comic begins!

You can read them here!

[spiri-a]

Ello ello ello this is a rant about a Good Omens fic I like

(Pssst.... TL;DR: It’s One Miraculous December by @journeytogallifrey)

Just a while ago I was agonizing over what kind of post I should post (even though no one’s gonna read this and this accounts only purpose is to spitball all my thoughts at a rapid pace) and I suddenly realized: hey! I like fanfics! And good omens! And sometimes I finish fanfics and I have so much thought vomit stirring around inside me I need to write it down somewhere! Then BOOM this is that this is my ramble baby. This is just my poor excuse to talk and talk and talk for several paragraphs straight. Please do not enter if you don’t want to be bombarded by what is probably several thousand words sorted into 5 or 6 sections.

This will probably be part of a series where I talk uh *cough* extensively about different fanfics, different series for different fandoms probably because I don’t think the Good Omens fandom and Carry On fandom interact with each other very much at all (maybe I’ll do books in general later on down the line, but that’d be a separate series too)

Just to be safe I won’t talk about anything too spoilery, giving some minor spoilers that get talked about in the first chapters anyways. This is a pretty lighthearted fic anyways so nothing much to worry about this time!

Ok now actually let’s get started. Anyways this is a fic I read a while ago that I really really liked:

One Miraculous December (T)

By @journeytogallifrey

Ok so this was the first fic I read by journeytogallifrey, and I read it during a time over the summer where day in and day out I had nothing to do but walk and walk and walk and occasionally read on my phone (Doesn’t make sense to read a Christmas fic over the summer but whatever)

I thought this was just gonna be a casually good long fic to fill up the time but boy was I wrong I LOVED this

Let me tell you this fic was the love of my life for the week and a half or so I was reading it. I was SO INSANELY shocked and confused when I realized this fic was 187,00 WORDS after finishing

But anyways I’m getting off track again (this post is my ramble baby after all) so let’s start with what this fic is abt and then I’ll talk about my favorite things

Spiri Stfu Whats The Fic About Already

Summary (pulled from fic):

Candles. Mistletoe. An entire frozen lake. Festive memories from their past together keep appearing out of nowhere.

Crowley's sure he's manifesting them accidentally out of sheer romantic desperation. It's bad enough trying to hide his unrequited love as they grow closer post-Apocaloops - what if Aziraphale sees the objects for what they are, a window into his yearning soul? Unfortunately, the only way to banish the objects seems to be talking about each memory...

Meanwhile, Aziraphale is just trying to woo his demon boyfriend with big gestures, ready to prove his devotion. And if Crowley acts awkward about the miracles? Surely that's just his difficulty accepting affection. The solution: shower him with as much of it as possible...

Eventually these two will communicate, even if it takes 'til the end of the year. For now there will be cuddling, excuses for closeness, sappy words, flashbacks, nostalgia, bickering, and an obscene variety of holiday foods. Oh, and footnotes. That's right. We're doing those too.

Fills for the Ineffable Holiday 2020 prompt list by Caedmon. Updates every day through the end of December.

Basically TLDR: Sappy reminders of soft moments between Crowley and Aziraphale throughout history keep popping up. Crowley thinks he’s doing it subconsciously and is worried about his super duper secret feelings being revealed, meanwhile Aziraphale is executing the least subtle (but somehow still too subtle) seduction plan ever concocted (it will take these two sillies a WHILE to get sorted out)

Ok now let’s move on to all the lovely things I love about this lovely fic in special lovely little sections (Once again, I’m sorry for the sheer size of this behemoth)

Pt 1: Charming Little Footnotes, My True Love ❤︎❤︎❤︎

From the very first chapter, I was completely and utterly enchanted by one silly little thing: the footnotes!! Those who have read the Good Omens book will understand: footnotes are amazing!! They often offer absolutely ZERO important information, and you could go practically the entire book never reading the footnotes and get the same general ideas as someone who did. BUT, they’re just so charming, why would you NOT read them?? They’re often unnecessary, but in a perfect and wonderfully niche way. I don’t need to understand the backstory or fun fact behind this randomly selected instant, moment, or person, but it’s so stupidly heartwarming to that I love to do it anyway. It’s like I’m being let in on a secret between me and the author, like they leaned over while someone else is talking and made a somewhat silly comment into my ear that makes you try to suppress your little smile in response.

Journeytogallifrey does this AMAZINGLY. They offer heartwarming insight on the most mundane things, and I enjoy every second of it. One of my personal favorite instances is funnily enough in the very first chapter, the footnote that first captured my heart and that I remembered throughout the entire fic. In chapter one, Aziraphale miracles for the floor of the bookshop to become a frozen lake, and he convinces Crowley to ice skate with him, reminiscing on a time they skated together centuries before. And THIS was the footnote that followed midway through the chapter:

*In fairness to the skates, they’ve had an intense couple of hours.

Mere moments before they found themselves in a 2019 bookshop, they’d only just been set down by Crowley and Aziraphale in 1860 and were debating the finer points of their recent skating adventure. Two of them, having hosted a lovely angel with excellent manners, were of a firmly positive opinion. The other two, terrorized by a demon who had berated them for trembling with fear, were engaged in a thorough character assassination of not only their tormentor but also anyone who would willingly befriend him.

“But they’re desperately in love with each other,” posited the skates worn by the angel.

“That’s beside the point,” answered the others, and that was when a miracle scooped them up and catapulted them a century and a half into the future**.

**Aziraphale, somehow, picked out the same two skates to wear in 2019 as in 1860, despite shoe sizes being less a concrete number for him and more ‘something that automatically sets itself to rights upon entrance of the foot’, so further experience has offered little to settle the argument.

THIS FOOTNOTE, THIS MOMENT, was perfection in my eyes. The completely absurd idea of two pairs of ice skates having a conversation, this conversation being about their wearers, a judgement of their character, a silly argument and observation of their silly hemming and hawing romance, was all so charming. It’s so unnecessary but also just. Completely STEALS your heart. Then there’s the footnote-ception of a footnote within a footnote, a casual disregarding of order and professionalism for the sake of being novel and silly. Not to mention the double footnote commenting on Aziraphale’s incredibly charming naïveté on the more specific parts of human inventions, such as the concept of shoe sizes. As you may have noticed from my using the same exact word like 20 times, the only word that fits the entire charmingly unnecessary but delightful footnotes thing is silly. It’s perfect because it’s perfectly silly, and that just made my heart melt.

Journeytogallifrey keeps up these footnotes throughout the fic to a certain degree, and as a reader of the Good Omens book, it’s always such a joy to find fics that bother to use footnotes. And journeytogallifrey does this wonderfully, stuffing so much life and humor into them very similar to what I found great about the footnotes in the GO book. So that is reason one (in no particular order) that I love this fic

Moving on to reason 2!

Pt 2: YOU get a flashback, and YOU get a flashback

A large amount of this fic relies on the art of flashbacks, being directly tied to Aziraphale’s Plan of Seduction™︎, which just so you know goes as follows:

Every day of December, miracle up some kind of thingy (object, place, activity, etc)

Said thingy will function as the perfect reminder to reminisce about a not-a-date date you’ve had at some point throughout history

Really drive home how close you two are and absolutely drown him in affection

Keep seducing all through December

Confess at some point (exact date TBD)

Profit

As you might have noticed, the whole reminiscing thing works as an opening for truckloads of flashbacks. But let me tell you, these flashbacks are WORKS OF ART. Unfortunately, unlike the footnotes, I can’t single out a single FAVORITE flashback, because they’re practically ALL amazing.

Journeytogallifrey very obviously did a butt ton of research for this fic, something I find so incredibly amazing about the Good Omens fandom! Many GO authors will do extensive research for the sake of their Aziraphale and Crowley throughout history scenes, which is something I’ve always heavily admired within this fandom compared to others. And journeytogallifrey does this amazingly and extensively throughout this fic!

Each flashback had so much love, charm, and most interestingly historical depth in them. Each flashback acts as a charming little mini story of the various adventures the two had throughout history. The highs and lows of their relationships, the hidden affections, moments that were fun, stressful, intimate, scary, or just simply peacefully domestic, ALL of it was present in these flashbacks, and just utterly captured my heart. I managed to learn quite a decent amount through the little historical details mentioned throughout, especially if a specific detail caught my eye and I wanted to research further. (Because of this fic, my dream is to move to Iceland and celebrate Jólabókaflóðið every year)

I love the way these two act around each other throughout history, and the writing when describing everything from the setting around them to their clothes to their care for each other is phenomenal. Normally I don’t really use words like aesthetic, but the way the different places dotted around the world are described and how the two are described to fit into them, I feel like I’m transported TO that place in history. I can see the churches, deserts, orchards, streets, markets, or wherever they are right in front of me, and it’s frankly gorgeous.

I LOVE historical flashbacks like this in general in the Good Omens fandom, but this fic does this AMAZINGLY, and it does it A LOT, so that’s a serious win in my books.

Something I also found extremely lovely about the flashbacks, as well as the present day parts of the story, brings me to my next part:

Pt 3: Gender who? Gender what? Gender none, gender all!

The gender fluidity/fluidity of gender expression of both Aziraphale and Crowley makes my heart flutter like nothing else. Like seriously. This is one of the main reasons I love this fandom.

It has long been stated that angels and demons have no inherent gender, and within the show Crowley presents as male and female in varying instances. Neil Gaiman has heavily implied Crowley being gender fluid before. In response, the fandom has completely flourished into a beautiful thing of gender acceptance and flexibility.

The fanart of the Good Omens fandom makes me so happy, because people will draw Aziraphale and Crowley in any manner they choose without feeling the need to explain it or label it as an “alternate universe.” The simple casualness around the topic of gender in this fandom sets a precedent of tolerance for the rest of the world, and also just warms my heart in ways I can’t explain.

Journeytogallifrey embraces this part of the fandom with open arms, with both Aziraphale and Crowley taking on a variety of appearances and roles throughout the flashback. The detail of changing Crowley’s pronouns depending on the flashback whilst Aziraphale maintains he/him no matter his form is a wonderful touch, and made me stupidly happy. The same goes for Crowley changing appearances to fit the alias of Nanny Ashtoreth later on in the fic, as well as his discussion with Warlock that it is all still himself, no matter what form he takes.

In my opinion, the fluidity and ease in which gender, masculinity, and femininity is expressed by Aziraphale and Crowley, both through the flashbacks and in present day, is done wonderfully, and serves to demonstrate the reason why I love this fandom so incredibly much.

Pt 4: Stabbing me gently in the feels (that’s gotta be a song lyric somewhere)

Another thing is I thought the push and pull and tender misunderstandings of these two throughout the fic is AMAZING. The delicate handling of this relationship is super wonderful and feels so stupidly softly heart wrenching. Like you’re not ripping my heart to pieces, but just kind of tugging on it. Seriously, I just wanted to hold these two and hug them and explain all their misunderstandings and send them away holding hands. The angst is so soft and tender I really can’t complain too badly.

The setup conflict between the two is, like, absolutely genius. I love it. Aziraphale trying to woo Crowley with as many gifts and miracles as possible while also playing cutely dumb about it, meanwhile Crowley is freaking out because all these miracles his lovesick heart is creating subconsciously might expose his super special secret feelings to Aziraphale, and that’d be baaaad news huh?

It’s some wonderfully sweet irony that Aziraphale innocently playing dumb is convincing Crowley he’s conjuring little mini proclamations of his super confidential feelings, and that Crowley is desperately trying to hide signs of said super duper confidential feelings while Aziraphale is actively trying to woo said demon.

This creates a lovely pushing and pulling dynamic full of tenderness and love, and it KILLED ME SLOWLY. 10/10 high quality soft angst.

Side note: I really liked the way Aziraphale and Crowleys relationship with Warlock was covered in this fic, especially Crowley’s attachment to Warlock as his nanny who raised him ever since he was little. I thought the desire to reach out to Warlock post Apocalypse was really heartfelt and sweet, and it made me feel stupidly warm seeing Aziraphale help Crowley reach out and later on solidify that relationship with Warlock.

Pt 5: How are you still here?? If you are, here have this

So um…….. this ended up being really long. My bad. I mean no one’s gonna read this anyways but I still feel a little awkward standing at the end of this VERY long ramble baby.

I just wanted to end this off by saying that One Miraculous December was SUCH a great fic, full of coziness and charm and silliness and tenderness and a lovingly crafted holiday vibe unlike no other fic I’ve read. I will definitely be rereading this fic around Christmas time, the digital equivalent of snuggling up beside a warm fireplace with hot cocoa and a good book. I seriously loved this fic so much! Like, it was just good vibes the entire way through, and I have obviously been keeping up with journeytogallifrey’s works ever since I read this one. Please please please, read this fic and give it some serious love, because it deserves it so much. I don’t know how you did it mysterious person who probably doesn’t even exist, but you got to the end. Thank you for reading my dear little ramble baby about One Miraculous December by journeytogallifrey.

Now that was technically the end, but as an extra little thingy, here are some other recommendations of fics from journeytogallifrey, because they are a seriously talented author and have some amazing gems in there!

Here’s a list of my favorites:

Everything That’s Meant (T)

One of journeytogallifrey’s more recent and more popular works, this is an only slightly meta fic in which Aziraphale and Crowley are human actors playing the angel Raphael and the demon Asmodeus in the tv adaptation of Agnes Nutter’s novel Prophecies. The two actors have electrifying chemistry, but much stands in the way of the two of them, from Aziraphale’s complicated family to a haunted tv set to the things spread by the press about the two.

105,000 words (a big guy!), with 39 chapters, but such a joy to read! It’s a bit heavier in plot and emotions, and the romance is a little bit of higher stakes, but the soft moments between the two as they grow closer 100% makes up for it.

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant (T)

The shortest one of my favorites at 7,000 words in a single chapter and lightly inspired by the Billy Joel song of the same name, it tells the story of childhood friends Aziraphale and Crowley both from in their youth and reunited as adults as they dine together at (surprise surprise) their favorite Italian restaurant. There’s some hidden feelings, light angst, high school gossip, and a whole lot of stuff that happens at the tables of this Italian restaurant. In general though, it’s a wonderful, lighthearted, bite-sized time.

Infernal Escapes (T)

Roughly 37,000 words, this fic is a cute and lighthearted romance set in an escape room place. Crowley is the long suffering employee of an escape room, and is enamored by the intelligence and enthusiasm of escape room newbie, Aziraphale. The two strike up a friendship built on their love of escape rooms, and a cute and easy romance ensues. This was such a joy to read, and their easy chemistry based on their shared passion for escape rooms is infectiously sweet. There is very little to no conflict or angst in this story, so it’s a slightly lengthy but incredibly easy ride, entirely smooth sailing. If you just wanna watch two strangers meet and fall in love without all the extra things (because like, same honestly), please read this.

[kjack89]

for the wrapped thing: enjoltaire and uuuh 96?

96. "The Best is Yet to Come" by Sheppard.

A little modern AU, developing relationship E/R NYE comfort.

Enjolras knocked briskly on Grantaire’s door and waited what he deemed an appropriate amount of time before supplementing his knock by calling, “Grantaire?”

“Come in,” Grantaire shouted back, and Enjolras let himself into Grantaire’s apartment. 

His initial scan of the place – cramped and messy as usual – did not reveal its occupant, and he opened his mouth to shout for Grantaire again when he finally spotted him, lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling.

Enjolras frowned. “What are you doing?”

Grantaire made no effort to sit up. “Lying on my bed,” he said, in what he clearly thought was a helpful way.

Enjolras rolled his eyes. “I can see that,” he said, with a bite of impatience. “But, uh, why?”

Grantaire made a motion that could have been a shrug, were he sitting upright. “Because.”

“Illuminating,” Enjolras said dryly.

Grantaire lifted his head just enough to scowl at him. “If you came here just to mock me—”

Despite himself, Enjolras held up his hands defensively. “I didn’t,” he said, even though he couldn’t help but add, half under his breath, “Though after all the times you’ve showed up somewhere just to mock me…”

He had hoped to make Grantaire laugh, but Grantaire’s expression didn’t so much as flicker before he laid his head back down against the bed. “So why did you come here?”

Enjolras jerked a shrug. “Your absence was conspicuous.”

“My– Oh.” Grantaire’s voice was flat. “The New Year’s Eve party.”

Enjolras nodded, frowning slightly at Grantaire’s lack of enthusiasm – or really any emotion whatsoever. “What can I say, it’s not the same without you,” he said, which had the benefit of being another thing to get Grantaire to smile and also the truth.

Once again, Grantaire’s expression didn’t change. “Normally it falls on Joly or Bossuet to come get me when my absence has been noticed.”

“Normally,” Enjolras agreed.

For the first time, Grantaire half sat up, propping himself up on an elbow, his curiosity clearly getting the better of him. “So why’d you volunteer?”

“Who says I didn’t draw the short straw?” Enjolras asked innocently. When Grantaire just gave him a look, he sighed. “Fine. Honestly, it’s because everyone else seemed to think we were better off just leaving you alone, that if you didn’t want to be there, we shouldn’t make you.”

A stubborn note crept into his voice, and clearly despite his best efforts, a small smile twitched at the corners of Grantaire’s mouth. “And you weren’t going to stand for that.”

“No.”

Grantaire’s smile disappeared and he shook his head slowly. “Well, if you’ve come here to make a big, rousing speech, you can save it. I mean, I appreciate the gesture, and the schlep, but…”

He trailed off and Enjolras frowned again before prompting, “But?”

“But 2022 was a long shitty year that followed on the heels of a longer, shittier 2021,” Grantaire said, something sharp and bitter in his voice, “which, of course, capped off the longest, shittiest year of 2020. So I just…” He sighed, flopping back against the bed and staring up at the ceiling. “The thought of toasting and cheering 2023, which shows absolutely zero sign of being different than the preceding 3 years…I couldn’t bring myself to do it.” He sounded unusually bleak, even for his more maudlin moods. “I just don’t have it in me to pretend that the best is yet to come when it sure as hell feels like we left the best behind somewhere.”

“So instead you’re lying on your bed, staring up at the ceiling,” Enjolras said, trying to keep his voice neutral.

“And feeling sorry for myself, can’t forget that,” Grantaire said.

Enjolras hesitated for just a moment before nodding decisively. “Ok.”

He crossed to Grantaire’s bed and plopped down beside him. “What are you doing?” Grantaire practically squawked, rolling onto his side.

“Lying down next to you,” Enjolras said, as if it was obvious.

Judging by the look Grantaire gave him, it wasn’t. “But – why?”

“Because,” Enjolras said, tempted to leave it at that if only to give Grantaire a taste of how infuriating he could on occasion be, but he took pity on him and elaborated, “You’re not fully wrong. The world is a shitty place and sometimes you have to do what you have to do to survive.”

Grantaire blinked. “So no rousing speech, then.”

Enjolras lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “If I thought it would help…”

“That’s never stopped you before,” Grantaire said with a snort.

“Sure it has,” Enjolras said, rolling over onto his side. “Because most of the time when I’m giving rousing speeches, you’re not my target audience.” Grantaire didn’t look convinced and Enjolras sighed, figuring if he couldn’t give one of his trademark speeches, he could at least offer Grantaire a tiny bit of honesty. “Look, I don’t believe the world will magically get better on its own. I believe it takes a lot of hard work by a lot of very dedicated people to even inch in the right direction. And as much as I believe that it is work absolutely worth doing, I also know that sometimes you have to tap out, and take a break. Because the only way to do the work is by being able to do the work.”

A smile again played across Grantaire’s lips. “You know that, huh?”

Enjolras smiled as well, his slightly rueful. “Well, I’m trying to learn it, at least.” He rolled onto his back, the motion as stubborn as he could make it. “So if you want to lie here and stay at the ceiling, I will lie with you because facing the shit the world throws at you is always at least a little bit easier when you’ve got someone with you.” He glanced sideways at Grantaire. “Of course, if you’d rather be alone, just say the word.”

“No, I don’t,” Grantaire said quietly. They lay together in silence for a long moment before Grantaire added, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Enjolras said.

There was another long stretch of silence before Grantaire sighed and rolled over to face Enjolras. “I think…” he started, a little hesitantly, “maybe I can make an appearance at the party. Though I can’t promise I won’t bring the mood down.”

“If you want,” Enjolras said noncommittally, though he couldn’t help but add, “But for what it’s worth, I think everyone will be happy enough to see you that it’ll make up for any mood-killing you do.”

Grantaire made a face. “Well, we’ll see about that.”

Enjolras laughed lightly as he sat up, cracking his neck before standing. Grantaire sat up slowly as well and Enjolras turned to glance back at him. “Oh, and Grantaire?”

“Yeah?” Grantaire said, not looking up from tying his shoelaces.

“I can’t promise the best is yet to come,” Enjolras said quietly, and Grantaire’s eyes flew to his. “I could give you a lot of platitudes about the night being darkest before the dawn, or what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, or whatever, but you and I both know those are bullshit.”

Grantaire cracked a smile. “I don’t know, I always found something strangely inspirational in the saying ‘even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise’.”

“Really?” Enjolras asked, surprised.

He deserved the eye roll and admonishment Grantaire gave him. “Enjolras.”

“Yeah, that one’s on me,” Enjolras said with a laugh. He paused and wet his lips before continuing, “But look, what I can tell you, in all sincerity and at full risk of making a fool of myself, I’d have a really hard time believing the best was still to come if you weren’t there.”

Grantaire stared up at him. “There, like, at the party, or…?”

It was Enjolras’s turn to roll his eyes. “I’d like it noted for the record that I was trying to be serious,” he said, a little gruffly.

“I know,” Grantaire said, his own voice just a little too soft in the wake of the joke he’d made. “Thank you, again.”

“You’re welcome,” Enjolras said. Then, desperate to change the subject, he added with a sort of forced cheeriness, “Now let’s go before they send a search party after us.”

Grantaire glanced at the clock. “It’s almost midnight. I think our friends know better than that.”

Enjolras hoped that the dim light hid the fact that he blushed, just slightly, and he hoped Grantaire took it for what it was worth that he didn’t try to pretend like he didn’t know what Grantaire was implying. “And for what it’s worth,” Grantaire added as he stood, deliberately casual, “you’re a pretty big part of my best as well, whether past, present, or yet to come.”

Enjolras’s flush deepened. “Thank you,” he said quietly.

“You’re welcome,” Grantaire said, giving him a crooked smile, and he hesitated for just a moment before holding his hand out to him. “C’mon. We got a midnight to catch.”

And Enjolras didn’t hesitate before slipping his hand into Grantaire’s and following him outside.

[writing-oof]

At Least It's Not Evil Capitalism (TM)

Day Four: (Design Wheel!) I got Modern Technoblade, so I raise you with Future!Technoblade living in a Modern World while having Time Traveled to save the world Featuring Twin!Wilbur and Criminal!Quackity

TW: mention of weapons, implied violence (it's pretty chill though)

Technoblade has no idea who this guy is. He's pretty sure, almost one hundred percent certain, that he's never seen this dude in his life.

He says as much, but the guy only seems to buckle down.

"We're twins," he says, gesturing between the two of them, "We're practically identical!"

The guy does kind of have a point, as much as he hates to admit it. Technoblade frowns.

"When was your birthday?" he asks, scouring his unlikely-twin's face for a single feature that seems out of place.

"July third," his possibly-twin says and Technoblade frowns a little more.

"What are your parents' names?" he asks, because there's no way.

The other guy blinks, then breaks out into a grin. "I didn't mean literally twins! Do we really have the same birthday?"

Technoblade nods and his definitely-not-twin points out, "That's sure a coincidence."

The guy shakes his head in disbelief. "What next? You're a secret time traveler sent to save the world?"

Technoblade freezes.

How the hell--

Before he can panic about the government having a plant in a high school, the guy starts talking.

"Relax," he says, which is pretty ridiculous given Technoblade's circumstances that he's apparently aware of, "You left your notebook in the library. Sounds like a pretty cool story."

Technoblade breathes an inaudible sigh of relief.

"It's personal," Techno says, frowning.

The other guy makes a face, looking sheepish. "My bad?" he offers, holding out the aforementioned notebook, and Technoblade rolls his eyes.

"Whatever," he says, because that seems to be a pretty common word in the 2020s.

Technoblade grabs his book and turns to leave, but stops short when the guy seems to want to keep talking to him.

"Uh..listen," the guy says, "I know you're new and all, so I figured you probably don't have a partner for the Econ project next week."

"Econ?" Technoblade asks, because the people at this school already think he's a hermit. Better than the truth.

"Economics," the guy says, seeming please Technoblade hasn't run away screaming yet. Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't think he's seen this guy with anyone other than that loud first year. Thesus, or something.

Actually, Techno's pretty sure that's just what he decided to call the kid, if he's remembering the right brash blonde.

Either way, a loner could be a pretty good source for Techno, later. If he knows anything, it's that the quiet ones always know more than they should.

He must have taken too long to respond, because when he looks up the guy looks crestfallen.

"What's the project?" he asks, and the guy seems to light up, giving Techno a brief synopsis of something that sounds way too complicated for him.

Capitalism.

Techno bites back a scowl.

Honestly, he preferred the future government's methods of indoctrination. At least there everyone knew it was bullshit.

By the time the bell rings, Technoblade has the guy's number in his phone and plans to meet the next afternoon in the library.

Even though he makes a fool of himself in his Maths class--really, though, who needed to know this stuff when the literal world was ending?--he thinks today was a win.

Sure, his ego will never recover, but at least he has someone interested and knowledgeable to bear the brunt of his capitalism homework.

In his phone, two new contacts sit.

One from the government plant at the cafe down the street from the school, and the other labeled 'Wilbur :)'.

---

Quackity definitely knows what's going on.

Technoblade doesn't know how he knows, but the barista pays way too much attention to certain unsavory customers.

Actually, the fact that men in suits with guns under their coats come to a coffee shop in the suburbs is evidence enough, but the fact that Quackity's the only other person who seems to know that these guys are bad news is an even bigger clue.

Where Technoblade is gripping his sleeves to keep from grabbing his knife, Quackity greets those customers with a smile and impeccable detail to their orders.

None of them ever pay, or tip, so he knows there's something shady going on.

And, with the looks the man keeps giving Techno whenever he comes by for the cafe's free water and WiFi for his legally sourced tablet, he's pretty sure the man has been reporting back to those customers about him.

They never spare him a glance, that he can see, but Quacktiy has a lot more to balance, so it's no surprise he slips up every so often.

Once, the man even offers to buy him dinner.

Technoblade got the hell out of dodge at that, not coming back to the cafe for a week afterwards.

If the government wanted to drug him, they could do it themselves instead of making someone like Quackity do it.

Honestly, Quackity was pretty bad at his job.

He was a great barista, according to Wilbur, but he wasn't really good at being a plant.

He was too obvious, watching Technoblade any time he went into the cafe by himself, sending him more looks the later it got.

Still, after Technoblade's temporary disappearance, Quackity seems reluctant to do anything hasty.

.

Quackity, working for a literal crime boss: Why is there a literal homeless child in my cafe? Am concerned

Technoblade: He's working for Evil Capitalism(™) I can tell

...

So the idea here is that Technoblade accidentally got involved with some Big Shit in the future and somehow (accident) ended up being the one to go back in time to save the world.

Wilbur isn't going to let him do it alone and neither is Tommy once he finds out about it, and Quackity--who works at the cafe that fronts for a money laundering scheme--is pretty damn worried about the kid who stays way too late at his cafe, never buying anything and always just tapping away at his cracked iPad that still has the broken security tag on it.

[bookwhimses]

❄️Share a snippet from a WIP of your choosing.

Thank you for asking! This is a large snippet from Self Embroidery, a fic I started back in 2020 and which I'm hoping to finish sometime between finding a wedding photographer and picking up a couple of other fics. This fic was written for Big Bang thread art done by Juniper, who was extremely understanding when I went and had a literal nervous breakdown and was balancing that with being back at work for the first time in years. The fic is about Farah struggling to find her feet with a new sense of identity post season two, particularly with coming to and processing the realisation that she's queer. There's background Brotzly which mostly acts as a catalyst for some emotional conflict around internalised amatonormativity and fear of abandonment, but it's mostly Farah introspec.

“Don’t know why I didn’t have a bi pride thing on my last jacket,” he says to her directly, as if trying to make up for ignoring her for five minutes. “Probably because I was still an egg. I made it ages ago.”

Farah isn’t sure whether she’ll look stupid for asking what an egg is in this context, or whether it’s one of those weird Brit-isms or even weirder Dirk-isms that Todd has picked up in the last three weeks.

“I can probably find something up the road.” Todd turns back to the patches. “There’s that market there on Saturdays …”

“The one without the fish?” Dirk says absently, still fiddling with the button placement.

Todd smacks his hand away. “Yeah, the one without the fish. I’ll –”

“If you’re going to the market, can I come with you?” Farah blurts out. It’s not exactly smooth, and it sounds a bit too much like a baby sister begging her brother to take her to the park, but she’d finally seen an opportunity and had leaped for it.

Todd looks a bit startled, even confused, and Dirk, half-leaning against the desk, looks similarly bemused. Farah silently prays that they don’t swap a glance. She’s not sure she’ll be able to handle the embarrassment of them swapping a glance.

“… Sure,” Todd says after a beat, “They’ll probably have those roasted almonds you liked –”

“I was thinking more of the – the clothes section?” Farah says, trying to force nonchalance into her voice and simultaneously trying to ignore the much-hated tremor it brings with it. “Since the mansion burned down and being on the run and – and everything, I’ve lost a lot of my clothes and … and anyway I was thinking that … uh …”

She tries to gather up her nerve for the actual question. Dirk and Todd stare blankly back at her.

This is fine, she tells herself. This is normal. This is part of the process.

“I was thinking my wardrobe could use more …” she pauses there, unsure of what word to use, what word she means or wants or feels, and a thrum of panic reawakens. She gestures helplessly at Todd’s shirt, light blue and patterned with cranes, at Dirk’s colorblock pastel jacket.

Understanding kindles in Dirk’s eyes. “… Color?” he says, gently, hesitantly.

[nysocboy]

Gemstones Episode 2.1 Review, Continued: Keefe's kiss, Kelvin's boner, and a thug with broken thumbs

This is a continuation of Episode 2.1: Junior likes dicks, Kelvin likes pecs, and f*k yeah, we got both!

In the last scene, Keefe is excluded from Sunday dinner with the family.  Now we see what he missed:

Judy and BJ accused of betraying the family because they got married at Disney World (by Prince Eric, the "hottest guy in the Disney catalog"), and because they don't have kids.  Judy argues that she's trying to keep her body "foine" to incite BJ's desire.  Nope, they need to make babies. The job/house/wife/ kids litany again.

There's also a jab at Kelvin's muscle obsession. It's not just homoerotic desire: desire of any sort is inconsistent with family.  

Left: Jonah Hauer-King, who played Prince Eric in the Litle Mermaid movie.

More Disruptions: We cut to Eli playing croquet, gazing at girl butts, and flirting with a lady. Suddenly Junior, his friend from his wrestling days, appears amid sinister music!   Eli ignores him and drives away.  A homoerotic disruption of Eli's heterosexual dalliance, parallel to the God Squad disrupting the nuclear family procession earlier. 

My Mans:  The family flies to Florida to inspect the site of the Lyssons' proposed resort.   When they return, Keefe and the God Squad meet them at their private airfield.  The family is shocked: didn't they know about the God Squad? 

"Uh-oh, my mans!" Kelvin exclaims, rushing forward to tell Keefe "You are looking great!"  In Southern Coastal grammar, "mans" is singular, "mens" plural.  He means Keefe.

Keefe tries to move in for a kiss, but Kelvin blocks him with an awkward hug.  He tries again, and Kelvin blocks him again. Finally he makes a blatant "enough!" gesture and backs off.  Judy finds this little dance hilarious.   It reflects the couple's conflict this season: Keefe wants to join the family as Kelvin's partner, the equivalent of BJ, sitting at the dinner table being criticized, while Kelvin isn't sure that same-sex romance is even possible.  His muscle cult is about desire: no love allowed. 

We cut to Eli in his office, watching a tv news show: Thaniel Block being interviewed about the "salacious scandal" story that took down Pastor Butterfield.  How famous was this guy?  I thought he was just the anonymous pastor of a satellite church.  They preach "sex only between married heterosexual partners, or you're going to hell," but privately they do everything under the sun.  Who will he target next?   Maybe Kelvin-- "Secretly gay youth minister holds wild sex orgies with his stable of muscle boys."  Ulp.   

Damn, we got old: Later, Eli is standing at the docks, worrying, when Junior approaches him and grabs him from behind, another homoerotic intrusion into his heteronormative life.  Junior complains that Eli forgot that he existed. 

Then: "We got old.  I look like a piece of shit, but damn!  You look sturdy!  Still got that mass going on!"  He grabs Eli's butt to check. Sort of presumptuous, dude, thinking that your ex will still be into you after fifty years. 

Eli thinks that Junior plans to blackmail him over revealing their days as loan enforcers (and lovers?), but he claims that he's just there for nostalgia, looking up an old friend.  "Why you all nervous, Eli?  Why are you bein' all weird?"  In this series, "weird" usually refers to sexual frustration.

Junior tries to hug him again, but Eli pushes him away.  On a scale of 1 to 100, how certain are you that these guys spent the psychedelic 1970s enjoying free love?  

As Eli walks away, Junior guilts him into a dinner invitation.

Sticky Stephens:  Nuclear families are  eating at Sticky Stephens, a parody of the Sticky Fingers Restaurant in Charleston that closed down in 2020.  Both sound dirty. The 1972 Rolling Stones album of that name  depicted a pair of jeans with an enormous bulge, leaving no question about why the fingers are sticky.

Junior points out a kissing couple: "Damn, look at that piece of tail he's with!" Ok, so he's bi.  Everybody watches as the man, Randall (Rene Rivera), lifts his girl onto the counter so they can have sex right in the restaurant!  Why doesn't someone on staff intervene? Eli yells at him to "tone down romance," and Randall yells "Suck my dick, Grandpa." But the couple leaves.

"I wonder what my Daddy would think about you and me being reunited," Junior says.  Eli answers: "He put us together, so he would think he did a pretty good job."  Except they were separated for a lifetime.  That's not a great job of matchmaking.

Junior says that his Daddy just disappeared one day, setting up a major mystery of the Season: Did Eli murder Glendon Marsh?

A Proper Erection:  The siblings meet at the Aimee-Leigh memorial to discuss who will be in charge of the church after Eli steps down.  Certainly not Kelvin, Jesse jibes: "All you care about is muscles," and it's not about God, "it's about being self-centered and popping boners."  Jesse just stated that Kelvin gets a boner when he looks at muscular guys, and he doesn't deny it.  He doesn't get the least defensive.  How out can you get?

Kelvin counters that it's about being healthy.  But, he concedes, "If you're healthy, you do maintain a proper erection." 

Judy agrees with him.  Their stories run parallel, so obviously they have both been having sex with their partners.  Fans who claim that Kelvin is not sexually active tend to ignore this scene, and actually the entire season. 

Next, Jesse goes to work on his son's masturbation.  He actually doesn't think that there's anything wrong with masturbation, but in order to convince Abraham to stop leaving secretions, he says that when you do it, all of your dead relatives, even your distant ancestors, swoop down to watch and judge you: "When people see you do something bad, it's hard for them to look at you in any other way."  In sociology it's called a stigma, a "spoiled identity."  I wonder if other people around have spoiled identities due to the bad behavior in their past.  Maybe Eli?

Back to Eli and Junior: Outside the restaurant, the guys run into Randall the Thug saying goodbye to his girlfriend.  "Bet you two queefs haven't seen action like that in years!" he jokes. Eli doesn't want to engage, but Junior gets riled: "How dare you talk to us like that! We're from Memphis, asshole.  We stuff twinks like you full of rocks and sink you in the Misssi-fucking-sippi."  Only gay men use the expression "twink." Junior knows his way around gay culture. 

Things escalate. Randall punches Junior, then Eli  The old wrestling training kicks in, and Eli punches, kicks, and head-butts him, and as he screams for mercy, breaks his thumbs! The end.  Dang!  These boys are obviously being presented as ex-lovers, and Junior is openly bi in the present!

The full review, with examples of "proper erections," is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

[padmeskywalkers]

...I hate you.

I know. 

pride month edits - lando calrissian ( star wars )

[the10thdoctor]

//holiday retail officially kicks into high gear at the store i work at tomorrow and boy i’m not ready for that especially since i lack the promise of gallifrey one/california at the end of it 🙃

[tender-rosiey]

Ah uh Some Sakusa Headcannons? If not a Atsusaku One shot? 🥺👉👈

— SAKUSA DATING HEADCANONS

A/N: AYO BACK AT IT AGAIN; hope you like it luv <3

Our very attractive germaphobe here basically loves you with all his being

At the beginning of the relationship he would struggle a bit with physical affection but make it up with his sweet words

Yes, I believe Sakusa is a man of very luscious words

“I know it must be a pain in the ass to not get the physical affection like others do in their relationship normally but I promise to get used to it as fast as I can, cause I myself can’t wait to have you in my arms.”

And vulgar words at that

“Keep your dirty ass hands of a hoe off my damn girlfriend.”

Anyways when he does get used to the touch

He can’t go on a day without kissing you or hugging you

Oml when he pouts

“Omi, why are you pouting?”

“You didn’t hug or kiss me, woman”

You made him a mask

He never took it off all day and was basically subtly showing off

“Oh the mask? Y/N made it.”

Honestly can’t get how lucky he is to have someone so understanding and patient as you

He loves how you have extra disinfectant spray and masks for him and appreciates it a lot

Clings to you in crowds

He feels safe as long as you are with him

He might be a germaphobe but he will cut a bitch if someone hurts you

Soft head kissed if you are upset

A playful nickname he calls you is “my germ”

However the nicknames he calls you in private are “Precious” and “Honey”

He calls you by your name in special occasions because as he believes “your name is something I want to appreciate on special occasions because it’s the first thing I knew about you and shaped what I later knew.”

Tease the boy and depending on his mood he will react with:

Either smile with furrowed eyebrows about to tickle you

Or

Glare at you and throw you on the bed cause he would rather go to hell and kiss a germ than hurt you

If he does sometimes upset you when he is accidentally cold towards you he would make it up with cuddles

Oh yeah, he loves cuddles but he is awkward and a little shy with them

“I am not putting my hand on your ass like I am gonna fu-“AYO I DONT WANT THAT KEEP IT FLUFFY”

Jealousy is something that flows in his blood but he controls himself fairly well

But subtle gestures he does give it off

Whenever he is jealous he holds you by the waist and pull you closer to him and starts glaring at whoever is talking to you

KOMORI IS THE BEST FRIEND ANYONE IS LOOKING FOR

he is so proud of his cousin for landing a wonderful person as yourself

Komori tells you embarrassing stories about Sakusa and god does he gets a cute beating when Sakusa finds out

Dates are usually a stay-in movie night or something indoors in general so he can be totally comfortable with you and show you the affection you deserve

You kissed his moles before and my man didn’t let go of you the entire day

“Omi I need to pee-“stfu and let me love you, you damn cute thing.”

If you get hurt he would disinfect your wound and take the utmost care of you

But of course not without scolding you

“What the hell were you doing on the tree?”

“...”

“Do you know how worried I was?”

“...”

“Will you take care of yourself a little bit more, sweet love?”

Damn man knows your heart swoons for that nickname

He can be such a tease at times like OMI CHILL

In conclusion he tries his best to be comfortable with anything so he can make you happy

copyright © 2020 tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[volleychumps]

Reacting to Puppy Dog Eyes w/ Akaashi, Iwaizumi, Tsukishima, and Sakusa

- oh lord please don’t do this to them, you’re gonna make them act tf up 

Warning(s): none

-------------------------------

Akaashi Keiji

- “What?” “Y/N, order an actual meal before you get dessert.” 

- Sends you an even stare as you lift your head up from the menu with an innocent expression, tilting your head as if you don’t know what he’s talking about

- “What makes you say-” “You’re on the wrong page.” 

- Sighs as you physically deflate, shoulders sinking downwards as a pout begins to form on your lips 

- “But I’m not even that hungry-” “If you eat sugar on an empty stomach then it’s going to hurt later.” 

- the mother in him really jumped out I see

- watches as you dejectedly look down at the menu, puffing your cheeks out before the waiter approaches the table, and he sighs but still expects you to pick something out 

- so when he’s about to order for the two of you, you decide to bring out the secret weapon 

- “Yes, one tonkatsu ramen and-” as he closes his menu, lifting his eyes from the page before stilling in place

- your eyes were watering a little bit, looking at him in a begging gesture with a please? glint in your pupils before he pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh

- “Sir?” “....and a parfait with macarons please.” 

- narrows his eyes at you as your back straightens, smile growing on your face before you pick up his hand resting on the table once the waiter leaves 

- “Don’t be mad....Keiji?” 

- is literally taking a moment to steady his breathing from the twinge in his chest, absolutely hating seeing you sad

- “Just give me a minute...we’ll share each dish, okay? Make sure to eat some of the hot food too.” he reasons, and your eyes brighten as one side of his lips tilt slightly upwards

- “You’re whipped.” As you kiss his knuckle playfully, and he rolls his eyes with the smallest of smiles, moving his hand to stroke your cheek gently before pinching it lightly, causing you to whine

- “I can’t believe you’ve got me wrapped around your little finger, love.” 

Iwaizumi Hajime

-  You don’t use it on him often because he doesn’t like other people seeing the look you give him because he’s a protective boi

- At least until you have to take drastic measures

- “Those things are rigged, Y/N.” He’s leaning against the brick wall next to the stall as you fiddle with the darts in your hand, an adorable look on your face as Iwa watches you enjoy yourself 

- “It is not!” Iwa waves off the guy running the booth, more interested to see how you’ll do in the game as he shoves his hands in his pockets 

- so when you lose by just a few targets, he can see the defeatedness in your stance before your eyes flit over to the really big polar bear plushie you were aiming for

- holds back his snort before you look over at him with the eyes that make his breath catch in his throat, and Iwa glares at you immediately with a heat forming in his cheeks 

- “Do you need help, miss?” “Hm? Uh...” 

- but he’s already walking over, lightly shoving the man’s hand who was running the booth off your shoulder with a competitive aura around him

- “Give me darts.” his tone drops to a deadly one, one half of him pissed off that this guy had the nerve to touch you in front of him while the other half of him needs to wipe that look out your eyes

- so in fifteen seconds he’s hit all six darts dead in the center, having unleashed all the angered determination inside of him before lazily pointing to the prize on the top shelf 

- sends one last glare to the guy before giving you the bear, plopping it over your face as he strolls past you with a pink tint to his cheeks

- “Here. Now stop pouting.” “You didn’t have to...” 

- Spins on his heel with a scoff, and you blink up at him innocently with your new plushie hugged to your chest as you hide your smile in the softness

- “I didn’t have to? Really?” Is about to dig into you for making him feel guilty for absolutely no reason before you kiss his cheek, diminishing his resolve as Iwa’s voice falters

- brings a hand to his neck as you hold your plushie with one arm, tugging on his sleeve so he could lead the way with the tips of his ears pink 

- “Thank you!” “Yeah yeah...just don’t do that, will you?” 

Tsukishima Kei

- “No.” “What? I didn’t even say anything!”

- 100% the one to pretend to be the least effected by it 

- Narrows his eyes slightly as an innocent smile graces your features, and he lets go of your hand to stand in front of you with his arms crossed

- “Whatever you’re thinking, no.” as he thumbs your forehead, and you whine a little bit before blinking up innocently

- he braces himself lmfao oh shit here it comes

- “Tsukki...can we ride the ferris wheel?” 

- how you gonna be that tall and not like heights make it make sense 

- stiffens immediately as your eyes lilt downwards sadly, but his gaze remains unaffected as he scoffs, rolling his eyes as you visibly wilt 

- “Come on, loser.” as he tugs you towards the ticket booth, and you perk up before a teasing tone emerges in your voice “Where are we going?” 

- “The fucking zoo.” “Tsukki!” 

- ignores you as he purchases the tickets, pretending not to see your sad reaction to his sarcasm before gently pushing you a long

- “I’m gonna regret this.” He mumbles once you’re both seated, and you bounce up and down in your seat excitedly as he rests his palm against his mouth, hazel eyes staring at you seriously

- Looks away when you look over at him, and you slip into the seat next to him as he warns you that it’s dangerous 

- “Hold my hand?” “You’re the one who wanted to do this.” 

- Still allows you to hold his hand anyways as the carriage lifts into the sky, and you lean your head on his shoulder

- Glances down at you with a warmth in his chest before flicking the side of your head

- “What was that for-?!” “Shut up.” 

- gently kisses the spot where he flicked quickly, going back to staring out the window as he holds your hand just a little bit tighter

- Fuck. He was too in deep. 

Sakusa Kiyoomi

- Get ready to be bluntly rejected to your face lmfao 

- “Don’t you like being clean?” “That doesn’t mean I want to wear a damn face mask.” 

- You puff your cheeks out, crossing your arms as Sakusa meets you with an even stare, wearing grey sweatpants and a fitted black shirt as his hoodie draped loosely over your figure

- The rare nights when Sakusa was home on time he’d always come back to find one of his articles of clothing gone awh

- “Please?” You tilt your head slightly, casting him a puppy dog stare before Sakusa actually scoffs, shaking his head no as you sigh defeatedly 

- “Fine. I’m gonna take a shower, you should reheat dinner if you’re hungry.” You say, fighting to keep the sad out of your voice as Sakusa watches you stalk off with a pout to the bathroom 

- Stares after you for a second before sighing deeply, tilting his head back with a hand on his forehead knowing damn well what was about to happen 

- so imagine your surprise when you emerge, towel tightly wrapped around your body to see Sakusa holding an opened face mask away from his body by the edge like it was the most horrid thing on earth

- “Kiyoomi?” “Shit-!” 

- almost drops it as he looks up at you, irritation evident on his face as you realize what he was trying to do before perking up and walking over to him 

- flinches when you softly sit him down, gently applying the facemask to his skin with a smile 

- “You didn’t have to, you know.” “Well when you look so damn sad all the time do I really have a choice?” 

- “Hey.” “What?” 

- His snappy tone is diminished as you finish applying the mask, leaning downwards to cup his face through the moist cloth before kissing him lovingly, to which he responds by wrapping an arm around your waist to tug you closer

- “Kiyoomi, do you want to apply mine?” “Seriously? There’s nothing else you want to do right now?” 

- Deadpans you as he tugs you onto his lap, unamused as you giggle, shaking your head no

- “Nope. We have to wait fifteen minutes anyway.” “But-” 

- “Fifteen minutes, Kiyoomi.” 

- Rolls his eyes, kissing you deeply as you giggle into the kiss, feeling the moisture of his mask as his eyes seem to darken 

- “Trust me, there’s a lot I can do in fifteen minutes. Now come here, get your damn mask on.” 

Do not repost or modify any original work. All rights belong to @volleychumps 2020. 

--------------------------------------

General Works: General works: @takemetovalhalla @kasandrafaye @savemesteeb @dreebbles @yams046 @let-me-have-my-own-name @deadontheinsidebut @lifeisntjustblackandwhite @curiouslilbeast @aprettyfruit @wisepandaslimeland @h0ngh0ngh0ng @lmkjimin @orangegiraffe7 @dai-tsukki-desu @kac-chowsballs @spikertrash @yamaguwuchi @lord-suneater-explosion @nekomawhore @holaaaf@babyybokutoakaashi @lexysclubhouse

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

The One Where Jensen Ackles Confirmed Cockles in 2016(????) No. Seriously. For real.

this is a DOOZY. strap in folks.

DISCLAIMER: this is chock full of rps. if you are against cockles/jenmish in any way, this post is not for you. however, if you’re like me, ummmmm...

alright. so. we are REALLY in it now, cockles truthers. and make no mistake, i DO NOT want to undersell the significance of what we have found on this glorious day in 2021.

BUT HEY! DISCLAIMER FIRST, THOUGH IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING! do not EVER bring this to jensen and misha’s attention. do not comment disrespectful things on social media. when cons/panels start again, don’t ask them questions about it. ever!!! that’s super weird, for one thing, and for two, they won’t give you the answer you want anyway! so, yeah. just be decent, y’all. let’s continue. 

so my dear mutual @green-blue-heller made this post today and i promptly lost my mind. in it, they link this video:

undefined

as far as i can tell, it’s from VegasCon 2016 but was only unprivated on january 24, 2020(dean winchester’s birthday??? wow ok) for some reason, and we have overlooked it until now. to whoever it was that posted it, THANK you for my reason for being and this delayed gratification five years later. anyway, let’s get into it.

right off the bat, those expressions in the thumbnail kind of tell you all you need to know about what we’re venturing into. i have to thank BOTH jensen AND j*red for being ridiculously transparent. i mean...j*red purposefully avoiding eye contact with jensen and looking at the ceiling with his eyebrows raised sky high? jensen hiding his face in his hands, smiling and blushing like a fool, the misha face™ & grin???

so let’s break down what happens with timestamps and everything.

so! i looked up what the question was, i scoured through the entire Vegas Con video, and here it is:

‘My question is for Jensen and Jared. You guys are both happily married, and I noticed that many people had a hard time explaining how they know their significant other is the one. The one they want to spend the rest of their life with, the one that they want to be with, and so, I wanted to ask you guys, how did you know that your current- who you’re with now(audience laughter cuts the rest of the question off and it’s unintelligible)’ ….i’m solidly guessing that the end of that question boils down to ‘was the one’. (....i...uhhhh....have some thoughts on how this question affected jensen, and i will be going into them later.)

Jared: *laughs* Jared, Jensen. When did you first meet your future ex-wives?

*both of them laugh*

Jared: I’m just kidding-I get what you’re trying to say and thank you, um...I, uh, I guess my current wife, uh-

*both laugh again*

Jensen: (sarcastically) Let’s start with her.

Jared: (repeats) Let’s start with her. I, uh, I...you said something kinda, uh, amazing in your question, which is that a lot of people have a tough time or a difficult time explaining to their significant others or to themselves what it is. And I guess I feel that I have no way to possibly explain it to myself or to her... I remember that I had been in a relationship and that I was single and I was like ‘I am not interested in getting in a relationship’ and then she and I went on a date and I was like, ‘I can’t go anywhere else. I’m not interested.’ So, that was kinda what, um, what started it for me *clears throat loudly* Uh. Yeah, I just feel like (searching for words) she makes me a better person-there are a lot of people that make you a better person, and so that’s not enough, I don’t think-or maybe it is, who knows-um...I don’t know, I can’t really...if I could explain, I’d be a poet.

here’s where things start to get interesting. before jared says ‘If I could explain, I’d be a poet,’ Jensen’s face looks like this:

stoic, thoughtful, composed. and then AFTER jared says that his face makes THIS little journey:

go watch it for yourself. this man is ridiculous. in terms of body language? he gazes up and AWAY from jared. it is a private thought, he is not sharing in jared’s joke with him, if at all. it is his own personal musings that make his face LIGHT up like that. this fool looks lovestruck!!! this fool is lovestruck!!!

now, i think it goes without saying, but there is an obvious cockles reason that springs to mind for this reaction. (hint: misha is a poet. that’s it, that’s the reason.) i don’t think jared intentionally said this with misha in mind, but jensen’s thoughts IMMEDIATELY went there. whether or not this is because he was already planning on answering and hinting at his relationship with misha before jared says this, which i think he was-you can certainly see the wheels turning in jensen’s head before this moment-his brain involuntarily makes the connection and it shows in his glowing smile. after that remark...jensen’s gone. he’s whipped. and he HAS to say something about it. 

continuing from where we left off:

Jared: ...and I would love to be a poet. (thought it would be fun to mention that at this point Jensen catches what his face did and immediately looks over to Jared and WIPES the expression of his face...but it’s too late, because someone recorded it, i saw it, and now i’m writing about it five years later)

Jared: But uhh…

Jensen: (interrupting) Just tap me when you want me to take over. 

i think that jensen is simultaneously joking and is also more than ready to say what he’s been composing in his head diligently for the last thirty or so seconds. he has made up his mind, and is now ready to drop the bomb on us.

*audience laughs, Jared playfully swats at him*

Jared: Uh… *thinks in silence for a bit* It’s really difficult, it’s really difficult. She makes me feel safe, she makes me feel loved. Uh...when...I’m in a position where I don’t love myself, I know she loves me, you know, um...she’s just an awesome, awesome lady.

*audience claps*

alright! so in terms of my OWN analysis for what’s happened up until this point, the conclusion i have come to is that there was something in the question that was asked that sets jensen’s mind off about misha, and i think it was the ‘the one’ comment. if we’re putting our cockles goggles on, jensen doesn’t HAVE a ‘the one’. he resents thinking like that. i’m also very intuitive, and i get a sense that jensen is an honest person and can’t really tell a convincing lie. i mean...we all saw that horrible airbnb debacle, right? and his slip up when he accidentally confirms that misha woke up and said ‘i miss (maison)’[which how would you know that unless you were...nvm] and became a stammering mess and had to sit down and cover his face. and that misha is always the one to take the lead when it comes to denying clothes sharing, for instance. jensen has never ONCE attempted to explain that away, because i don’t think anyone would believe him, and i think he’s incapable of doing so because he’s not a dishonest person and can’t lie easily. i’m the same way, so to avoid telling a lie i always speak partial truths, and i’m 99% sure jensen is well versed in this talent as well. oh, also, just to really land my point....we all know how he feels about the finale because he can’t make himself speak well on it. he’ll gush about 15x18 and the PEOPLE BEHIND the finale, but he has not uttered one. positive. word. about the actual finale itself. i mean, we all know what he thinks about it. in his own way, he has made his rage glaringly obvious. and i think he’s doing that exact thing here, where he resents the implication that daneel is the only ‘one’ for him, because that’s simply not true, and he can’t and won’t lie about something like that. 

i watched it back again and wrote notes on jensen’s body language as he’s processing the question. here they are:

from 0:13 to 1:21, jensen: 

looks down - tenses face - searching eyes, lost in thought - jared’s comment brings him out of it but it takes a second - fidgets, adjusts clothes, looks at jared - bites the inside of his cheeks and moves tongue around his mouth(pacifying gesture) - eyes start wandering away from jared, looks down and tenses face, looks back at jared - then looks away, eyes and mind far from the panel and pondering the question itself - somewhat wistful expression, gears clearly turning in his head, lips pursed, stops reacting to what jared is saying, fingers start fidgeting, eyes have moved downward as he is lost in thought - something shifts in his brain, he looks to the ceiling, fidgets and adjusts his clothing, squints and seems to resolve an inner thought - slightly comes back down to earth with newfound resolution - and then jared’s ‘i would be a poet’ comment happens while he’s coming down from that

i mean, this obviously doesn’t necessarily mean anything huge(yet), all it shows is that this question took a lot of thinking for him. when you compare it to how jared kind of just dove in? 

anyway; so then jared’s done, he slaps jensen’s thigh to indicate it’s his turn, jensen makes THAT face you see in the thumbnail, jared’s eyebrows raise, jensen looks down and scratches his forehead, and then makes the statement of a lifetime. 

here’s the link for this next part

Jensen: Ummm..I kind of feel like there’s two types of people ..uh..in regards to marriage and the, the one. Uh, it’s the ones that just, just know with an absolute and, and have a certainty of like, this is the one for me, unequivocally. And then there’s those who are, you know, I don’t know, I’m scared, but I’m willing to take that leap of faith with you. And, I kind of find myself in between both of those(...types of people). And uh, and so, it can be a scary endeavour, and it can, and it will certainly have it’s ups and downs, um, but I think it’s a, uh, it’s a bond, and it’s a connection, and it’s a friendship, and it’s a ride, and it’s a journey that, uh, if you’re willing to stick it out with one another, can be an amazing, beautiful thing and I’m glad that I picked the partner and the teammate that I have, so.

i’ll give you like a second to recuperate before we dig in. 

let’s start with both jared and jensen’s body language first, because it wasn’t even the words that clued me in, it was whatever the hell was going on with jared’s face. 

i really wish i could gif, but i can only attempt to convey the SPEED and VIGOUR with which jared snaps his head toward jensen. 

these pictures are objectively hilarious because you can see the entire mental journey that jared goes on. he was aloof and kind of relaxed because he was done, it’s jensen’s turn now, he’s surely not gonna out himself with this question right? and then jensen goes ahead and says ‘there are two-’ and jared instantly zones right into jensen with a look of horror on his face, that he tries to contain, but does so unsuccessfully. that is the face of a man who is internally freaking out, thought to himself ‘did he seriously just say...’ and is kind of staring at the culprit in shock and awe.

i know that’s what’s happening, because this is not the first time we’ve seen him react like this to something jensen has said. the classic head whip. a few examples, just off the top of my head:

1. ‘he has, hasn’t he?’ 

2. ‘he sounds like that in the morning’ ‘how do you know’ 

3. when he whips his head around when he notices jensen’s face(and instantly understands when he realizes it’s misha)

so yeah, i’m sure you get it by now. jared can’t really keep it off of his face. there’s no real analyzing to be done here...it’s just an obvious tell on his part. there’s no real reason for him to have reacted this way if jensen was saying something inconspicuous, is there? he would have continued to just kind of space out if jensen hadn’t just said something jarringly questionable. 

as for jensen’s body language, i can’t really tell where he’s looking from either angle of both videos i’ve seen. sometimes it seems like he’s looking straight at jared, and maybe nods at him once, but he could also(and is most likely) looking at the fan who asked the question. i don’t think there’s anything particularly telling about his body language because i think he rehearsed his answer in his head and also, he’s not shying away because he’s not lying about anything. like...everything he’s saying is true, so he’s not going to have any tells. and it’s the fact that he is TELLING THE TRUTH that is freaking jared out.

now for what he actually says. because oh my god. 

right off the bat, he says “i kind of feel like there’s two types of people..” and first off, what? what does that even mean? if you think of it in terms of ‘this is about daneel and only daneel’....isn’t this a realllyyyyy strange thing to start out with? objectively? the question that was asked to him was ‘how did you know they were the one?’ and he goes ‘actually there’s TWO types of people’ ...like, jensen never answers the question at hand. 

and then he goes “in regards to marriage and the one”. i hope i’m not the only one who noticed he said the words ‘the one’ in a resentful and kind of degrading tone? seriously, listen to it again. he seems like he’s almost mocking that sentiment. i swear i’m not making it up, it really sounds like that to me. 

and then he says “-it’s the ones that just, just know with an absolute and, and have a certainty of like, this is the one for me, unequivocally. And then there’s those who are, you know, I don’t know, I’m scared, but I’m willing to take that leap of faith with you.” *NON TINHAT VERSION OF EVENTS* what he could mean, i guess, is he was both scared to be with daneel but also knew she was the one for him. which....ok. alright. *TINHAT BACK ON* first off, there’s absolutely no risk with daneel. that’s not a judgement, because i love her; it’s just true. she’s a pretty, talented, amazing woman and they are very much in love. i’m not sure what risks he’s taking there. next up: pretty strange wording then, don’t you think? idk, if it were you, and you wanted to get that point across, wouldn’t you use words like ‘she both scared me and i knew i wanted to be with her at the same time’ and NOT this convoluted mess of ‘there’s two types of people and they are both drastically different but also one and the same’? 

SECOND OF ALL, as many people have pointed out.....he never uses pronouns. this is strange. jared does. jared says gen’s name, even. and uses ‘she’ and ‘her’. jensen never once does that, he practically refuses to do so. and yes, i fully believe it is entirely intentional.

because if you look at this phrase from a cockles lens it makes more sense then if you do not. 

the one that jensen knows, unequivocally, with the utmost certainty, is the one for him, no doubts, no risks; is daneel. the one that he doesn’t know about, is scared of being with, but is willing to take that leap of faith anyway; is misha. and all of a sudden the puzzle pieces fall into place.

because he goes on to say “I kind of find myself in between both of those.” 

he doesn’t say ‘i find myself in between both of those...with her.’ nope. he’s just...in between. caught in the middle. of those two types of people. translation: of those two people. mish. dee. 

“And it can be a scary endeavour, and it will certainly have it’s ups and downs, but I think it’s a bond, and it’s a connection, and it’s a friendship, and it’s a ride, and it’s a journey...” 

every single one of those words can be applied to more than one person. think about it. bond(between three people). connection(between three people). friendship(between three people!!!). there’s no ‘partnership’ in here, which does only apply to two people. 

lastly, “i’m glad i picked the partner and the teammate that i have.”

ok, look. you can easily say that it’s just one person he’s talking about here! of course you can. but this is jensen ackles we’re talking about. jensen ‘rock and pebble’ ackles. jensen ‘mish. dee.’ ackles. so yes. i definitely think that ‘the partner and the teammate’ fall into this category. and i think daneel is the partner and misha is the teammate. 

to put it matter-of-factly: you simply cannot prove that this isn’t about a poly relationship. there is absolutely nothing he says that makes it obvious he is talking about one person here. because he isn’t. 

i just feel like, in the simplest terms, if this were about only daneel, that he would not be using these weird phrases that are half-hidden truths. just to compare, i watched another panel where pretty much the exact same question was asked, minus the whole ‘the one’ debacle, and, just as i suspected, it was an entirely different answer. he talks about the moment where he knew he liked her. her, specifically. says the name daneel. gushes about her. there’s no tiptoeing and weird pronoun usage and vague terminology. 

tl; dr : i think he answered the question this way because there is no ‘the one’ in his life. and he is physically incapable of leaving misha out when talking about ‘the one’ because he has TWO ‘the ones’. and he wants to answer the question to the best of his best ability, but lying is unnatural to him. he will talk about daneel at length and misha at length, but i honestly to my core don’t think you could make him choose between the two. oh! and we literally had confirmation all the way back in fucking 2016, we just never paid attention until now. so......thanks, jensen?

sorry, this got super long, but i hope i warned you well enough. 

[scarletwinterxx]

End to Start pt. 4 - Jaehyun AU

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“I never pegged you for a liar”

“You might be a foot taller than me but I won’t hesitate to deck you if you don’t shut up”

“You said you didn’t know him!”

“I never said such thing” you argued back, it was the typical morning for you. And by typical you mean Jungwoo bothering you as you work around the shop. Everyday he makes you wonder why you hired him in the first place.  

“Your ex is Jung Jaehyun, the CEO of Jung Publishing. Their company is like established world wide, his sisters work abroad and his youngest brother works here. The world really is small after all”

“You sound like a fan”

“I can’t believe I tease Sungchan like that when his family can buy the whole block”

“Better start saying your apologies then” you mumbled

The bell ringed just then, making the two of you look up. “Speaking of, Sungchan, Jungwoo has something to say to you” You said as the younger boy walk towards the front counter

“Did I do something wrong again? I swear I didn’t mix up the salt and sugar this time”

“This time?” you asked

“No no no, you didn’t do anything wrong” you and Jungwoo spoke at the same time, the taller boy looking between the two of you like a little kid worried he might get scolded over something

“It was one time, and in my defense it was partly Jungwoo hyung’s fault. He put the two side by side”

“I kinda don’t want to know” 

“You have something to say to me?” Sungchan asked Jungwoo, you just chuckled at the latter “You know, you’re a liar too”

“Too? What did I lie about exactly?”

“You’re a Jung!” 

“He literally said that the day he applied here, technically he didn’t lie about anything. I was just dumb enough not to put two and two together” you answered for the younger boy. The three of you proceeded to work, the two boys in the kitchen area getting some pastries ready for display, you can hear them bickering from back there. 

“Uhm noona, can I ask you something?” you were surprised by the sudden voice breaking the silence in your office, there Sungchan stood by the door peaking in

“Sure, come in. What is it?”

“Am I fired?”

“Why? Did you switch the sugar with salt again?” you chuckled, trying to make him feel less nervous

“Uhm I kinda heard what happened yesterday at home. I swear I wasn’t eavesdropping but you know, you guys weren’t exactly quiet” 

You just smiled at the boy, he was so much like his siblings yet so different. He definitely got the good looking genes, much like his older brother he also has a weird sense of humor. But one thing that sets them apart is how shy and nervous Sungchan seems to be, like a little puppy being introduced to the world. 

“Of course you’re not fired. Whatever happened between me and your brother has got nothing to do with you, I kinda didn’t even know you were siblings up until yesterday”

“I didn’t know you were his ex too” you chuckled at his answer, of course he didn’t. You never met  the young boy when you and Jaehyun dated, you’ve met his sisters and his mom but you never got the chance to meet his father and his youngest sibling. 

“That was a long time ago, you were probably still in middle school when we dated”

“He moved out of our house during his third year in college, I never expected he will cause mom wanted him to stay home. But one day he kinda just packed his things then he was out the door. Mom was so mad at him”

The two of you broke up the summer before third year of college, you left for Paris a few weeks before school started. You asked the university to let you go and transfer, which they thankfully approved. 

Then you were on the next flight out. Not a single goodbye said. 

You never heard from Jaehyun after that, you couldn’t bring yourself to ask about him. You had no right to, after what happened. So the story Sungchan told you was new news to you. 

“He really liked the cake by the way, when he came to pick me up yesterday he asked if I could buy him another one”

“It is his favorite flavor” you smiled at the memory. 

Jaehyun may or may not be the inspiration behind the uniquely flavored cake, when you were making the menu for your cafe you couldn’t help but add that selection. Given that not many people will like it but still you wanted to make it, 

“So I’m not fired right?”

“No, I might have to ask Jungwoo about the salt incident though”

“No matter what he say, he was partly at fault” 

This was honestly the last place you thought you’ll be at. You must look so silly right now, standing in the lobby of a corporate building in your sundress holding  cake boxes while the receptionist stares you down. 

“I’m sorry miss but I can’t just let you go up without an appointment”

“Okay uhm can I talk to someone that I give this to and take it upstairs?” you asked, gesturing at the boxes you brought

“Sorry we don’t allow solicitations” she smiled at you, but you know she was pretty annoyed at you. 

You were just about to give up when you hear someone call your name, 

“Y/N? Is that you?” 

“Hi, Jess” you smiled back at her, “You brought a gift?” she asked, nodding at the box

“Yea, one of them is for you actually. It’s kind of late for your birthday but I thought you might like it” 

Jessica smiled at you before taking the box and linking one arm around yours, the receptionist long forgotten. 

“Let’s go upstairs, come on” then she whisked you away. When you got the elevator, the two of you made small chats. She was talking about how the designers loved the photos you took during the shoot,

“You should do it again sometime”

“It’s just a hobby now, really” you smiled at her suggestion, you did major in photography for the first two years in college but after moving schools, you decided to change majors too. Culinary was still hard to do, but you enjoyed every second if it. It was also a good thing that you were just as good with a camera as you are with a whisk. 

“And let me guess, that one is for Jae” Jessica nodded at the box you were holding

You were about to say no but you both know that wasn’t the truth so you just laughed, “You know after you he never really dated anyone seriously. Chunga is a great girl and yet they never worked out. It’s like he already knew it wasn’t going to, no one was like you so why try”

“I don’t think he actually thinks that” you mumbled, “Just accept it, my brother is still very much smitten with you. He’s just trying to act all tough because he doesn’t want to get hurt again” she shot you a smile. 

The two of you stepped out the elevator, you just followed Jessica since you’re not really sure where she was going

“I’m sorry” you know saying those words will never suffice but you still say it anyways. 

“Don’t say sorry to me, you didn’t do anything wrong to me. And to Jaehyun too, just be gentle with him” she shot you that sisterly smile

“I don’t think he wants to talk to me, can you give this to him though?”

“Why don’t you give it to him yourself?”

“That’s not really a good idea, I don’t want to ruin his day”

“Believe me, you’ll be the best part of his day” she said as she open the door to her office you assume. She gestured for you to come in first, so you did. 

When you turned around you almost lost your grip on the box you were holding, 

“Okay, can’t say I walked right into that one” you mumbled, hearing a chuckle from Jessica who was standing behind you

“Enjoy” Jessica says from behind you before closing the door. 

Jaehyun almost didn’t go to work today. Yesterdays revelations were too much to take in, of course it didn’t go down without an argument between him and his mother. Plus you were there and you looked like you just wanted to get away from him again, but you stayed rooted at your spot. 

The two of you didn’t exchange any words besides an apology you muttered on your way out the door. He really thought that was the last of you he’ll see.

And now you’re here. In his office. He almost pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming right now because if he’s being honest it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve appeared in his dreams.  

“What brings you here?”

“Uh, I’m not sure?”

“You’re not sure?”

“I didn’t think this far ahead”

He can’t help but chuckled at your expression. You were still standing awkwardly by the door, looking around his office. 

“You know you can come closer, I don’t bite. Unless-”

“Okay don’t continue that sentence” you said as you walk towards his desk, putting the cake carefully on his table

“What’s this?”

“An apology gift”

“So you’re bribing me now” okay ouch.

He must have noticed the change in your expression because he quickly added, “I didn’t mean it like that”

“No no, it’s fine”

Then it was silent, not the awkward type of silence. You weren’t sure where to look so you just looked down at your feet, you hear a chuckle from Jaehyun

“What?”

“Just yesterday you were close to tears and now you’re here bringing me cake”

You smiled gently at his words, taking a deep breath before speaking again

“It was like a weight lifted off of my shoulder, at least now I don’t have anything to hide from you. There’s no monsters hiding in my closet or something like that. I don’t expect you to forgive me and forget about it. But I do want to fix this, the least I could do is make up for the wrongs that I did”

“Was it wrong?”

“I took your mom’s money, the money that she gave me to break up with you. She pretty much paid me”

“You said it yourself you never touched a cent”

“I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. It wasn’t worth it”

“Wasn’t worth what?” Jaehyun asked, he wasn’t why he did or what answer he wanted to hear from you but he asked anyway

“It wasn’t worth totally losing you. I knew if I used it then that meant I agreed with your mom. I only did what I did not because of the money but because I wanted you to be free from the burden you were feeling. She was never going to let us be if we continued dating, so I just took the money and disappeared”

He didn’t expect you to be this truthful and open about it, but then again you never really lied to him. He knew you like the back of his hand, even after all these years. There was no use to lying if it’s with him, he'll just see right through you.

“You could’ve said goodbye”

“You would’ve known then, you would’ve stopped me from going then we both wouldn’t be where we are now” You answered,  this time there were no screams, no anger no sadness. 

“Are you happy?” he asked

“Yes, it wasn’t always like this. There were a lot of hard days, now I’m just glad I got through all of that” you answered with a smile, you look over at him to find him already staring at you. “Are you happy, Jaehyun?” you asked him

“I can be”

As he said those words he also held your gaze, looking like he was staring right through you. This wasn’t the Jaehyun you’ve talked to previously, the one that was always angry and throwing words at you. This was just Jaehyun, the Jaehyun you used to know. 

But then again he isn’t. He has changed so much in the past five years, as you have. Maybe you two were tossed together by fate at the wrong time, and it ended badly. But here you are now. 

You’re not expecting a second shot at love with him, it wasn’t your time then so who call tell it is now? you were willing to gamble again but this time you both were too scared to lose. To hurt to ever risk falling again. Happiness is pretty much what all you want for him. 

He deserves to be happy, even if it meant you had to end what you had in order for him to start again.