#because your idea of 'fun' is coming into other people's private fandom spaces and attempting to bring them down

[singsweetmelodies]

Shipping real people is so gross TF get a life

sending anon hate is so gross TF get a life

[regenderate-fic]

You'll Carry Her With You

Fandom: Doctor Who Ships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor & Dan Lewis Characters: Thirteenth Doctor, Dan Lewis Rating: General Word Count: 2,447 Other Tags: Feelings, Emotional Baggage, Past Relationships Read on AO3

Summary: Post Eve of the Daleks, the Doctor is dealing with her feelings. Very loudly, and in Dan's space. Fortunately, Dan's enough of a friend that he doesn't mind.

NOTES: i realized that like. i've written yaz working out her feelings with dan, i've written yaz and thirteen working out their feelings together, but i have NOT written thirteen working out her feelings with dan. so. here's my attempt to rectify that

also if you saw me post this without remembering to include the summary and notes. no you didn't

“What am I supposed to do now?”

Dan had been sitting on his bed in the room the TARDIS had made for him for the last hour, reading a book he’d found on one of the shelves. It was a sci-fi thing from the far future, which of course meant most of it was incomprehensible, but once he’d gotten past that he found it good fun. But now he was jarred out of his good fun by the Doctor, more disheveled than he’d seen her yet, practically falling through the door to his room with tears in her eyes and not so much as a knock.

“Slow down, Doctor,” he said. “What are you talking about?” He had a pretty good idea what she might be talking about, but he needed to double check.

“Yaz!” The Doctor threw herself into the chair by the desk in the corner of the room, draping her front across the chair’s back with her legs straddling the seat. She wasn’t wearing her coat, Dan noticed, and her braces were half falling down her arms. Her hair, too, was all over the place. “What am I supposed to do?”

Dan closed his book, shaking his head. Technically, the Doctor had just intruded on his private space, and he should’ve been offended, but also technically, he’d opened this can of worms to begin with, and now the emotional fallout was his to deal with.

“You’ve got to give me more to go on,” he said, unable to stop a bemused smile from making its way onto his face.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.” The Doctor stood up again, pacing the length of the room, her hands flying all over. “I was just trying to get my TARDIS back. I did not sign up for all this— emotional stuff!” She held her head in both her hands, pressing against her temples. “Why would I do this to myself? Why would I put myself through this, time and time again?”

“It comes with the territory,” Dan said. “Not much of an alternative, is there? Besides being lonely.”

“I’ve been lonely before!” The Doctor threw her hands up in the air. “I can be lonely! I’m brilliant at being lonely, really, you should see my awards.” She turned on her heel, staring down Dan. “What I’m not brilliant at is dealing with feelings.”

Dan hesitated. He’d only known the Doctor for a total of a few days, but he’d seen how she looked at Yaz. And of course he knew how Yaz looked at her. He’d wondered how they’d gone so long without saying anything about it, but he was starting to put together a few pieces.

“Whose feelings are we talking about?” he ventured. “Yours, or hers?”

The Doctor was silent.

“Doctor, I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me,” Dan said. “And I’m assuming you came in here because you wanted help, or else you’ve interrupted my reading for nothing.” He kept an easy smile on his face: he hadn’t been that invested in his reading.

“Fine,” the Doctor said. “I’ll spell it out. Would that help?” She sounded a little like she was talking more to herself than to Dan, a tight frustration in her voice. “It’s my feelings.” She shook her head, turning away from Dan. She delivered her next words to the wall. “I’ve gotten attached. I’ve lost so many people, and now I’m going to lose one more. Because I went and got attached, and now I can’t imagine the universe without Yaz.” She smacked herself in the head. “I’m so stupid!”

“Hey, love is never stupid,” Dan chided. He was mostly an audience here, a passive viewer of the Doctor’s monologue, but he could still get his agenda in if he wanted.

The Doctor shook her head. She fell back on the foot of Dan’s bed, and he sat up further, moving his legs away from her as she stared up at the ceiling, her hair flung around her head.

“It’s always stupid,” she said. “At least, it is when you’re me and your lifespan is thousands of years longer than the average sapient life form’s.” She let her head fall to the side, making off-kilter eye contact with Dan. Her voice was quiet. “You know, I’ve known loads of people. I’ve been married, even.”

There was a heavy silence. Compelled to fill it, Dan said, “Yeah?”

“Few times,” the Doctor said. She was still looking Dan in the eyes, but her gaze was distant: she wasn’t really looking at Dan. “And there’ve been others. You know. You don’t have to be married for it to matter.” There was a pause. “And I’ve loved them all.” She exhales, and quiet words flow out. “Just like I’ve loved Yaz.”

Dan opened his mouth, trying to figure out how to respond, but the Doctor didn’t give him time. She jumped to her feet, back in her blaze of anger.

“And I’ve lost them all.” Tears were rolling down her face now: Dan wasn’t sure she’d even noticed. She was caught up in her emotion, her voice searing with desolation. “Every single one of them. They’ve died, or they’ve left me, or we’ve gotten separated— and it doesn’t matter, in the end, because at the end of the day, when all the chips are down, I’ll be alone.” She gasped, unable to prevent her next words from coming out as a sob. “I’ll always be alone.”

Dan just watched. He’d never been emotional support to an alien who was, if Yaz was to be believed, 3,000 years old at the youngest: it was entirely true that he didn’t know anyone else who’d live that long. But the Doctor kept looking desperately at him, and so he tried.

“How long have you been doing this, then? Rocketing around with humans, that is.”

The Doctor shook her head. “Too long. Long as I can remember.”

“And you haven’t stopped,” Dan said. “There’s got to be a reason for that.”

“I can’t help myself!” the Doctor cried. “I can’t! I always say I’m not going to get attached, I’m just going to help out every now and then, or sometimes I just shut myself away! For decades!” She fell into the chair again, this time sitting sideways, her head in her hands. “But I always come back.”

“Seems to me, though,” Dan tried again, “that you’ll be sad if you lose Yaz no matter what. Might as well have some fun for now. Let loose a little.”

The Doctor looked up again, her eyes blazing. “I can’t do that. I can never do that.” She marked each word with a gesture. “When I let loose, people die. Every time, people die. You know, I had this friend, years ago. I loved her. So much. I let her in. And you know what happened?”

Dan didn’t answer.

“We only had two years together,” the Doctor finished, flinging a hand to the side. “Two years, and then she got stuck in a parallel universe.” She gulped down air. This was a proper messy cry. “And for those two years, Dan, I was so happy. I was so happy. But two thousand years later, I’m still sad. Is that a fair price to pay?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “And the worst part is, my happiness, our happiness, directly led to her having to leave.” She gestured with one hand— “Cause—” and with the other— “and effect.”

“Doctor—” Dan began, but she was on a roll now.

“Don’t try to tell me that’s not true,” she said. “We were having fun. We were having a good time, saving the day, everything else, and Queen Victoria, of all people, decided we were making too much light of everything, and she set up an entire institute just to defend the country from me.”

“Fat lot of good that did,” Dan joked, but the Doctor wasn’t even listening.

“And she was right,” she was saying. “She was right! People were dying, and Rose and I were having a laugh! I mean— how would you feel if you were dying and two time travelers were there trying to play a joke on the queen?”

“If the queen were at my deathbed?” Dan asked. “I think I’d just ask how come she got to outlive me. I mean, come on, how’s that fair?”

The Doctor sighed. “How’s that fair?” she echoed. “Exactly. How is it fair for me to go around becoming attached to people, falling in love, when everyone I love dies horribly? How is it fair for me to know that I’m always running into danger and still bring people along with me?” She looked at Dan again, and Dan could see three thousand years of sadness in her eyes. “I shouldn’t be around other people. It’s so— I’m so weak.”

“You’re not weak,” Dan said quietly. “You know what I think?”

The Doctor stared.

“I think caring about other people is the strongest thing there is.” He leaned back, stretching his hands behind his head. “Here’s the thing, Doctor. I’ve cared a lot, in my life. And there’ve been times where I haven’t cared at all. You know which one’s harder? Every single time?”

“Caring,” the Doctor mumbled. She still sounded mad about it.

“You’re not weak to need people around,” Dan said. “Everyone needs someone, yeah? And from what I’ve seen, you take care of us as best you can.”

The Doctor was quiet for a long moment, her head still in her hands. Finally, she looked up at Dan and asked in a thin, broken voice, “Do you have any idea how many people I’ve lost?” She kept going. “Hundreds, Dan. If not thousands.” She rested her chin on the back of the chair. “And I remember every single one. Every single person who’s walked through the TARDIS doors. They come in, they impress themselves on my hearts, and then they leave, and I’m left behind.”

“Doctor,” Dan said. “You’re not going to stop us from dying. That’s— that’s the whole thing with humanity, isn’t it? We all die?”

“Don’t see how that’s supposed to make me feel better,” the Doctor grumbled.

“You’ve got to hear me to the end,” Dan said with a smile. “The point is, we’re here at all, and that’s beautiful, isn’t it? We’re here, and each of us is unique. And when you find a person you like, never mind love, you’ve got to go for it, don’t you?” He paused. “Or else you risk missing it entirely.” He saw it so clearly, human lives blinking in and out like fireflies, the Doctor standing in the midst of it all, trying to catch them in the bottle. It was a heart-wrenching image. “You’ve got to take what you can get, yeah?”

“I suppose.” The Doctor’s head had slipped down, and she was talking into the back of the chair now, her nose hooked on its edge. “I just— it’s not enough. Dan, it’s not enough.” And he could hear it in her voice, all the hurt she’d suffered. “Thousands of years of grief, just for a few years of joy.”

“Do you regret knowing her?” Dan asked quietly. “Not Yaz. The woman you were talking about.”

For a long moment, the Doctor said nothing. Finally, she breathed, “No. I don’t. Not— not knowing her.”

“So why are you so sure you’ll regret Yaz?”

The Doctor shook her head. “It’s not that I’ll regret knowing her. It’s just—” She took a deep breath, her words coming quick and firm. “I’ll regret it if Yaz dies because of me.”

Dan fixed her with a look. “Doctor, how long has Yaz been traveling with you?”

The Doctor eyed him warily. “Three years, give or take.”

“And there’s the four we spent in the 1900’s,” Dan added. “That’s seven years for her to learn the risks and understand them. She knows what she’s gotten herself into. She’s chosen to be here. Again and again, if you ask me.”

“It’s just—”

“She’s got the right to choose you,” Dan said firmly. “Just like you’ve got the right to choose her. But don’t go saying it’s your fault if something happens to her.”

“She’s under my protection,” the Doctor protested. “Both of you are.”

Dan shook his head. “She doesn’t need protection,” he said. “That woman led me around the world without skipping a beat. You’d’ve been so proud, Doctor, if you’d seen her.”

The Doctor softened a little at that, lifting her head up. “I am proud,” she breathed. “I really am. She’s— she’s amazing. Beautiful, really. Especially when she’s trying to solve a puzzle. I wish I could’ve seen her, back in the 1900’s.”

Dan tilted his head forward, raising his eyebrows. “Have you told her that?”

The Doctor looked away.

“Maybe that’d be a good place to start.” Dan grinned. “You don’t have to open with the love confession, you know.”

The Doctor shook her head. “I can’t keep doing this.” But her resolve had weakened. Dan could see it in the way her shoulders relaxed, in the way her head drooped, in the way she looked up at him through her hair. “She’s too special to risk.”

“You’ve got to tell her that,” Dan repeated. “It’s not exactly news to me, anyway.”

The Doctor looked at him for a long moment.

“Suppose you’re right,” she said. But she didn’t move. “What if— what if it ruins what we have?”

“Trust me,” Dan said, thinking back to what Yaz had told him about the Doctor’s evasion, her frustration with it all. “Not saying anything will ruin it a lot faster.”

The Doctor sighed. “Why is it all so difficult?”

Dan smiled. “That’s part of being alive, isn’t it?”

The Doctor didn’t answer.

“Go on, then,” Dan said. “Talk to her.” He held up his book, giving the Doctor half a smile. “This 25th century romp through the Andromeda galaxy won’t read itself.”

The Doctor returned his half-smile. When she stood, she seemed fragile: for all the Doctor’s heroics, she was still just a person, Dan realized. A weird person, an alien person, a person who’d been alive for much longer than any person should, but still a person.

“Thanks,” she said quietly. She gestured helplessly around Dan’s room. “I was sure you’d kick me out.”

“Nah,” Dan said with a smile. “You needed help, didn’t you? That’s what I’m here for.”

The Doctor gave him a sad, grateful smile, and she slipped out of the room, leaving a sudden silence in her wake. Dan picked up his book again, shaking his head.

[babbushka]

Please read the whole thing ❤️

Hey everyone, Zannah here. 

I’ve taken some time and stepped away from this platform after all the drama that happened a month or so ago, and in that time I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Thank you all so much, for your kindness and support in allowing me to unplug for a little while, I really needed that break just for my own sanity. I hope that in this time, you all have been doing as well as you can in this very stressful year. I’d like to take this brief moment and thank my most dear friends who have been my rock. This experience has shown me that good friends, truthful friends, are hard to come by. If you have them, please make sure they know how much you love them.

You know, I’ve been on this platform for just about ten years. For a few of those years, I’ve been here in the AD community, and I can honestly say I’ve never had a more negative experience in my life, from the actions that I’ve witnessed and experienced. I stayed away from people I didn’t like, I didn’t read fic I didn’t like, I avoided content and artwork that upset me, because I’m an adult. And foolishly I was expecting others to do the same, because as I always say, your internet experience is up to you to cultivate. You are responsible for no one else’s actions other than your own.

I’ve dealt with people coming into my inbox condemning me for the way I interpret fictional characters from day one. I’ve dealt with people calling me slurs and names, telling me to kill myself, telling me they were going to kill me themselves, that I deserve awful unspeakable things, for not agreeing with the way that they interpret a fictional character. Those were all easy to ignore, because they were always, always either about my Jewishness, or about the Jewishness of my characters, and I have no time for bigots, I just don’t.  

People got angry with me for having boundaries in not wanting to write certain things, or for not wanting to write them in the specific way that they wanted me to. People got angry with me for being frustrated, that time and time again I was being treating as some writing machine and not a person, by them not giving me the basic respect of checking the small list of tropes and themes I’m uncomfortable writing which I’ve made so accessible every time. Time and time again I became frustrated, being asked questions that I’ve made clear on so many occasions, that I was uncomfortable answering, or held negative opinions of.

And that was frustrating, because it was a level of entitlement I’d never seen before – people wanted my writing, but only if it satisfied their needs with little regard to my own feelings, and called me a bully when I didn’t comply. Still, it was just about the writing, and I could ignore that.

But then, strangers started getting angry with me because I had blocked them for whatever reason from seeing my content. Strangers got angry with me for standing up for myself when people tried to pull stunts in the inbox. When people asked me for advice or my opinion on a whole assortment of topics, they said I was being a bully because they didn’t like what I had to say. A difference of opinion is not a personal attack, but it seems as though many people haven’t grasped that concept. People said I was betraying others’ trust by answering anonymous asks on the internet, something that has exactly 0 risk or stakes in sending. People said I was a bitch when I tried to offer genuinely constructive and critical responses. People got angry that I blocked their IP address for sending me unwanted, anonymous, negative hot takes that I didn’t ask for, nor that I cared about. People said I never took accountability for anything, when in reality they just wanted me to change my mind about certain topics, and got angry when I held true to my convictions. 

I hope you can all imagine why I didn’t respond pleasantly. Like every content creator on this website and on any website, we don’t owe anyone anything. I don’t owe anyone anything. I don’t owe anyone writing, I don’t owe anyone answers, I don’t owe anyone attention or time. And something that I’ve learned most of all, is that I don’t owe people the pleasure of indulging in flame wars that get brought to my feet. I am not interested in wasting my time trying to defend myself and my good name, against people who have already made up their mind about me from a few misunderstandings, a single interaction, or a one-sided and angry perspective. I’m not interested in wasting my time over things that I know in my heart, aren’t true.

One thing people sometimes tell me, is that I was “rude to a perfectly genuine anon.” I would like to say this; there is absolutely no way for me to know the intention of any anon, other than the way the message comes across. And I’ll be the first to admit, often intention is misinterpreted! When that happens and the person reaches out, I always, every time, have apologized. And just as easy as it is for me to misinterpret someone’s genuine ask as rude or offensive, it is easy for my genuine responses to be interpreted as rude or clipped. Tone is difficult over the internet -- tone is difficult in text where these people are anonymous strangers and I have no idea who they are or with which intentions they’re coming from. 

That being said, people can still say hurtful things without the intention of doing so. People have said unintentionally hurtful things to me, and I now realize that I have said things which have been hurtful to others. Good intentions mean nothing, when real hurt and pain is caused. To those people, I would like to give a genuine and sincere apology. I hope, as all I can ever do is hope, that folks here know I never come from a place of malice. Moving forward, I will do my best to respond in ways that I hope will come across as respectful as possible, even when disagreeing. I believe the only legitimate form of apology is changed behavior, and I intend to make that change so that this space can be more inclusive and welcoming, as I have only ever wished it to be. 

Because, well, I like to think that we have made a welcoming and inclusive space, a space where we are able to respect one another’s boundaries. I am just one person, just a girl with a blog on the internet who has tried to forge a community of peers and friends. I am not a politician with a PR team approving my every post, there are no mods here to help me interact with you guys. I’m just a girl who writes fanfic and posts it on the internet. I write fanfic that makes me happy, that I’m proud of, for me, and I am happy to share it with you. Especially because through that fanfic, I’ve met incredible wonderful people, and I’m thankful for all of you.

Through having this blog, I’ve met people that I consider to be lifelong friends -- people that I plan on building a future with, and for that I’m forever grateful. I’ve met people who have become inspired to write their own fanfic or start their own blogs, and even when it’s a subject matter that’s not something I’m interested in or one that I personally don’t like, I have always, always been encouraging. Because this is a hobby, this is something people should be doing for fun, because they want to, and no other reason. So when I see claims that “I’ve forced people to quit writing” or someone saying “I quit the fandom because of you”, I know that that’s simply not true. The only way you quit writing is by not writing anymore. It may feel better to blame someone for the reasons why, but no one can make you do anything except yourself. 

Similarly, I’ve seen people saying that I’ve “ruined their favorite character” and to that all I have to say is what I’ve always been saying; if you don’t like my writing, you don’t have to read it. If you don’t like my interpretation of characters, you don’t have to consume the content I put out. If you don’t like my opinions, you don’t have to follow me. People don’t “ruin characters” for anyone else, when you simply avoid the content you don’t like, and focus on (or make) the content you do like.

Have I been confused when someone shares my story with a tag that didn’t make sense and so I reached out to them privately to address the issue? Yes. 

Have I expressed my negative feelings about fics and the trends of fandom in the comfort and boundaries of my own blog, in posts that I remove when I felt that they no longer were worth keeping up? Yes.

Have I expressed my concerns regarding certain tropes, themes and kinks, opinions formed by my own firsthand experience with them, coupled with the potential damaging effects they may have on a young and impressionable audience like some of those in this fandom? Yes. 

I don’t deny any of these things, because I am not ashamed of any of these things. You don’t have to like it, but that does not make me a monster, nor does it make me a tormenter of this fandom as I have been called.

Tormenting people in fandom is making long scathing posts publicly blasting someone because you’re angry that they blocked you. Or making long public callout posts to warn others in the fandom of my many crimes – crimes which actually aren’t crimes at all – and whipping up a frenzy of frothing at the mouth hate. Or reblogging a post and hijacking it with long commentary about something that has nothing to do with you in an attempt to shame the original poster. Or getting screenshots of private conversations where someone is joking with a person who they once thought was a friend, that are taken out of context and framing them to fit a narrative you’re spinning against them. That’s torment.

This fandom has the most vicious and warped mob mentality that I have ever seen. I’ve seen it in the treatment of Adam and Joanne, I’ve seen it in the treatment of John Boyega and Kelly Marie Tran. I’ve seen it in the treatment of other bloggers, and well, I can say I’ve seen it and experienced it myself. I worry for the future of the fandom, when this sort of behavior is rewarded and celebrated, because people are so quick to simply agree with someone’s impassioned anger instead of thinking critically for themselves.

However (and this is the ‘but’ of the whole post), I cannot make this post and make all these statements without saying that this community has also been a place of kindness and support and acceptance, and I’m genuinely touched by everyone who has ever gone out of their way to talk to me. I thought long and hard about deleting this blog. I thought about just packing up and leaving our corner of the web, or moving to other platforms. I even put out a little announcement on my ao3 that I was done, I was out of here. But it didn’t sit right with me. It didn’t feel right to abandon all the incredibly beautiful, talented, welcoming, supportive and kind people that had found some peace in this corner of the web. I was absolutely blown away by the sweet messages that were sent to my inbox, and my DMs, the posts that were circulated written by friends and strangers alike literally brought me to tears. 

I know that many people here do not like me, and want nothing to do with me, and that’s okay. I know that my content is not for everyone, my opinions are not going to be lined up with everyone else’s, that’s okay too. People have not liked me from the beginning lol, that’s nothing new to me. I have always said, that I would continue to write even if no one read my stuff, and that’s still true. You are in charge of your internet experience, follow the people and consume the content that makes you happy, and block out the things that don’t. 

If you are reading this and you are one of the kind people, one of the supportive and understanding people who are on my side, I cannot say thank you enough. The time I took away made me realize that there are much larger problems in the world than strangers on the internet having negative opinions about me, and that kindness will always be more powerful than hate. The community we have built together means more to me than the bullshit other people try and start.

So, all of this is to say, that I’m back.

Some things are going to be a little different around here; I’m very very sorry I know I said I would never do this but I’ve turned the anonymous function off for the time being just for the sake of my sanity, and I’ve updated my FAQ. Writing will no longer be posted directly to tumblr, but rather a redirect link from AO3 will be posted making all tag-list requests null and void.

But other things will remain the same. We’re still going to have sleepovers, I’m still going to accept prompts (but please give me some time before we get back to sinday, as I’m still in a little bit of unease about all of this). I’m still going to be talking about my personal AU, and I’m still going to be uploading fanart and gifs and memes and shitposts and answering your questions and giving you the love you all have shown to me over the years.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for giving me the time to say my peace. I know it’s a long post, but I’ve been sitting on these thoughts for quite some time, and I’m relieved to finally express them. Please know that my posting this isn’t intended to stir up anything, or cause any drama, or relive any pain. 

I just missed you all very dearly. I hope that we can move onward and upward together, a babbushka 2.0 of sorts. It’s an exciting time to be in this fandom, and I am looking forward to experiencing everything together.

I’m sending you all of my love. 

[theheavenlymoon]

I totally did this out of order, so let’s try this again!

I would like you to meet Uzuki Hanako! (うづき- Uzuki はなこ- Hanako)

(My first introduction was a hot mess, so I wanted re edit that one and put up this one instead!)

(I can’t draw for crap so I’m using picrew.)

This will basically be me talking about her rather than all the fandoms she’s in. I’m gonna be making post about her and the fandoms later, but for now it’s all about her!

First Name: Hanako

Last Name: Uzuki

Gender: Female

Race: Demigod

Age: ??? (Depending on the fandom, her age changes)

Birthday: December 27

Zodiac: Capricorn

Height: 6’3.3

Sexuality: Bisexual

JP CV: Ami Koshimizu

ENG CV: Amanda Céline Miller

FRENCH CV: Indila

(Couldn’t find a Greek CV 😔)

Nicknames: Shachi-chan (Floyd), Child of Hearth (Malleus), Ms.Herbivore (Leona), Princess, Wifey (Gojo)

Favorite food: Cheesecake, literally anything sweet

Least favorite food: Hummus, mushrooms, candy, and beans

Likes: family/friends, cooking, singing really loud to her music, working out, making clothes, nail polish, memes/vines, rain/cloudy weather, animals, purple, doing anything around the house, video games, anime, fictional books, roughhousing, and day dreaming about her crush/significant other

Dislikes: Fights between friends and family, Candy, crying in front of people, and bookshelves

Since I can’t draw I have to use picrew, but sadly some of the makers that I find have limited options so allow me to go into detail about her looks. (I’ll probably make another post about her abilities later)

Hanako has bright gold eyes and long lavender hair that goes all the way down to her mid thigh. She has two beauty marks, one under her right eye and one on the left side of her lip. Her signature hair style is space buns with the rest of her hair down in the back. Like I’ve said before, I can’t draw so I’m using characters I know as reference! This is what her body looks like.

(^ This is Flare, a character from fairy tail! I recommend watching it if you have time. Fairy tail is a very long series, but it’s really good!)

(I’m pretty sure you can look at almost all the women in Fairy tail and get the idea.)

Obviously I know that Hestia doesn’t have any demigod kids but demigods don’t have to be born the normal way. Hanako was born from fire and was given to her father. With that being said, when Hana was first claimed she was given a fire place poker but traded it in for a sword so she it could help control her pyrokinesis. (Her sword is disguised as a charm bracelet!)

As for her sword...

Hana’s sword helps her control her pyrokinesis a little better and it’s fun to try and see who can pick it up. Her sword can reach up to about 2000°F (1093°C). She has a few special moves but those are for another time.

Although Hana acts like her mom in some moments, she met Apollo and Hermes when she was quite young and those two have had a big impression on her personality. One moment she giving motherly advice, and the next moment she screaming vines across the room.

Random facts about Hanako 🌸✨

Since Hana means flower I use cherry blossoms and lavender to represent her.

Has a huge soft spot for children!

Hanako is super understanding and open. Wanna try something new? She’ll come with you, so you aren’t lonely and scared. Skydiving? What time are we leaving? Want to be left alone? Call her if you need something! Wanna try working out? She’ll be your personal trainer! Feeling down? She’s coming over with movies and snacks! Can’t make it to game night? It’s alright just be safe with whatever your doing!

Once Hanako falls, she falls hard.(Romantically speaking) She is a SIMP. She’ll wear the most giddiest smile after talking with them. Probably screamed in her pillows at least a few times. “They make my heart beat so fast, and they make me feel like the happiest girl in the world!!” - Hanako.

Attempts her best not to be obvious about her crush, and for the most part it works. Until anything other than platonic stuff comes up. Her face is gonna turn crimson if ANYONE mentions her crush in not so platonic ways, gods forbid anything even more intimate. Children of Hestia are so shy when the idea of sexual things is even bought up that they blush deeply and cannot articulate any coherent words, and any fire nearby also turns crimson as if it were blushing like the child of Hestia. This shyness is amplified if they are around their crush.

Gets kind of anxious when she’s beside a bookshelf.

She’s a smart ass. It’s gotten to the point where she does it automatically. It doesn’t even have time to process, it just comes out.

Hana is actually really good at acting and singing. She was in a few commercials and videos when she was younger but only as background characters.

Hana is amazing with kids. She grew up with 3 little brothers before she was moved into the orphanage, which meant even more kids to watch over. (she takes her big sister role very seriously)

Since she was born from fire, she can raise her body temperature up if she wanted too, and she rarely gets hot or cold. Heat based attack have no effect on her. Hana’s hugs feel like a warm blanket wrapped around you while sitting next to a fireplace, all in all just really comforting

Hana grew up around a lot of guys and so she calls everyone ‘bro’ and ‘dude’ a lot. She has a few friends who are girls but most of them are guys. That being said, she grew up rough housing and yelling.

Hana also comes from a very affectionate family. (Hugs, kisses, feeding food to each other, smashing food into someone’s face, etc.) So it’s not uncommon to see Hana tackle all of her friends into hugs and kisses.(platonically)

Hana also likes to tease a lot (curtsy of Hermes) so don’t be surprised when she tease about you burning food.

Is super flexible. I’m talking like, Mitsuri flexible. Her friends have at least saw her in the scorpion pose a few times. The more flexible she is, the easier it is to move in battle.

The woman is a tree. I’m pretty sure all of her lovers (with the exception of Gojo) are shorter than her.

She can not, for the life of her, wear heels. Anything above a 3 inch that isn’t thick, would make her snap an ankle. Besides she’s already tall enough

In terms of anger, Hana has the patience of a saint. She still gets annoyed here and there, but very rarely does she get genuinely angry. On the rare occasion that she is angry, she gets pretty violent. Veins showing from her forehead, her body temperature spikes, and she wears one of the most nastiest glare ever. (from what she’s been told) Only a select few have seen her mad.

When thrown into a new situation (or a new world-) that isn’t familiar, Hana will come off a bit sarcastic (more than usual) and aloof. She wants to get a feel for her surroundings before she can actually be herself. Give her some time to come around and she’ll be back to hyper and happy.

Hana has a bunch of hobbies. She plays volleyball and is known as the queen of the court. She loves to paint her fingernails and her toes as well. Her cooking is top tier! As a Hestia child obviously she would excel at anything that has to do with domestic and home type things.

She 100% would/will make her own dress. Once made a huge ball gown dress because none of the place had what she was looking for.

When she isn’t doing any of her hobbies she’s working out and practicing her pyrokinesis. Hana trained a lot back where she was from, so she could master her pyrokinesis and her sword. She’s gotten to the point where she can lift a car. Just because she’s in a different place doesn’t give her the excuse to slack off!!

Ironically her mother is a virginal goddess and isn’t married to anyone. Hana on the other hand, wants to get married and have kids. She shooting for 4 but it all depends on what her partner wants. (2,6,8 it just depends)

Hestia children can induce serenity and make tense situations a lot more calmer. Hanako has defeated a lot of enemies and monsters this way.

Hanako knows 4 different languages. English, Japanese, Greek, and French. She was taught Japanese by her father and Greek by her mother. She learned French and English herself

Even though Hana loves to do girly things, makeup is not one of them. She always thought it was pretty cool but she never had the time to sit down and practice it.

Thank you for reading✨ I had a lot of fun making this and I can’t wait to write more stuff about her! I’ll probably have to learn how to make a master post so her stuff is easier to access. If you have any questions about Hana my inbox is open, or you can message me in private, either way works!

I hope you stick around for more content with Hanako! 🌸🔥✨

[jawritter]

The Arrangement

Part 18

Summery: You are a young girl that was raised in a small church in Dallas, TX. One of the only churches left in the state that still practices arranged marriages. When your betrothed ran off to California you thought you'd escape the fate you were trained for ever since a small child. Now upon the death your parents your fate seemed to be inescapable as he's returned, and is ready to take you as his bride.

Book Warnings: Arranged marriage, loss of virginity, smut, unprotected sex, angst, language, suicide attempt, battles with anxiety, struggles with mental illness, age gap (about 11 years), I think that’s it, chapters will have warnings of their own!

Chapter Warnings: Angst, social anxiety, some fluff in there, I think that’s everything.

Word Count: 2219

A/N: This book is a book about Christian and church based arranged marriages, I would like to take this moment to say that I DO NOT have ANYTHING against the Chirstian faith, and mean absolutely no harm to anyone! Especially Jensen’s family! This is a complete work of fiction, and should be treated as such!

Beta’d by the amazing @deanwanddamons who was awesome enough to do all this for me! It was a lot of work, and she deserves all the praise for it!!

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Want More? Check Out My Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***SERIES MASTERLIST***

You don't really remember the rest of the flight into California. You slept pretty successfully most of the way,which surprised you a great deal, seeing as you were so nervous about flying to begin with; but the combined nervousness, and lack of sleep last night because of said nervousness, helped you drift off nuzzled safely in Jensen's arms, and knock out without much of an issue.

Jensen gently shook you awake after the plane had landed and was now holding your hand as he guided you through the airport toward the car that was waiting for you all. 

Clif was gracious enough to get everyone's bags and things, so that you all could go hide in the car, safely away from fans. No one wanted to get the fandom's hopes up about a reboot, just in the event that it didn't happen; and every time Jensen and Jared were seen together there was a fresh waive or rumors concerning the return of the show.

You couldn't wrap your head around the way people seemed to flock to them, stalk them, and follow them around to no end. Sitting on the computer for days, looking for a sighting of them. 

Jensen had been slowly introducing you into this lifestyle of being married to someone like him. He'd been taking you on dates and things close to home, and you knew it was only a matter of time before someone posted your picture online, and everyone learned your name. Jensen knew that as well, so he'd been slowly teaching you how to deal with all this madness.

Today, the fans got a picture with you at the airport, so you assumed by now that everyone in the fandom was speculating, and trying to tear you apart bit by bit. That's one reason why you didn't have social media, even though Jensen didn’t mind if you had it or not. He really didn't care for it, but it was necessary because of his line of work, advertising and what not.

You just didn’t want to see it. All the rumors and things that were bound to circulate about you. The way the two of you married wasn’t exactly “normal”, well for most American’s anyway, and you were sure people would still favor his ex wife over you ,even though she was the one that cheated on him. 

No one tried to approach as all of you made your way to the car, while Clif gathered up everyone’s things, and you were grateful for that. You had enough of ‘being out in the wild’ as Jared called it. 

Jensen's phone beeped and he pulled it from his pocket, looking down at it. Your heart started to hammer in your chest at an alarming rate.Was he already getting flack about being married to you? Would the fandom convince him that he should leave you? 

"Looks like they got our rooms  ready for us. All Clif has to do is pick up our keys, and we can go straight there. They said the meeting isn't until tomorrow. So we got today to rest up before the crazy starts."

You sat there looking up at him. His arm wrapped around you the best that he could in the car. 'Before the crazy starts.' What did he mean by that?

"Oh yeah," Jared said, shaking his head like he was amused at Jensen's lack of enthusiasm. "You know tomorrow will be long. Sitting in a room all day, trying to make everyone happy and meet everyone's demands before the show comes back."

Jensen just hummed in agreement, looking out the window as Clif pulled the car off toward the main road, dodging people as he went.

Jensen's phone went off again and he laughed a little before silencing it.

"Looks like Y/N has made quite the impression on the cast already. Felicia, Brianna, Rob, and Richard want us to all meet them for dinner tonight so they can meet her." he said to Jared with what you thought may have been a proud smirk, but you weren't so sure. 

Your heart jumped up in your chest, and you quickly looked down at your lap so that he couldn’t see how nervous you were. Of course he saw right through you. He'd learned your every move. The man was more observant than you gave him credit for.

Squeezing you tighter to him, he puts a light peak on your forehead. "It's okay baby girl, they will love you." 

You half smiled at him and snuggled yourself into his side, thankful for the bucket seats in the back of the SUV. He calms you, even when you feel like everything is raging against you. His warmth, his smell, the way you can lightly hear his heartbeat through his chest keeps you grounded when nothing else seems to be able to.

California was so different than what you had expected it to be. There seemed to be people everywhere. Everything was so bright all the time. The weather was warm, maybe even warmer than Texas, and it was December. Everything seemed a little more free here. 

Upon arrival at the hotel, Clif ran and grabbed everyone's key cards, and once we were all settled into our rooms with little difficulty Jensen came and wrapped his arms around you.

"How are you doing sweetheart? Are you okay today?"

Letting him surround you with his strong arms, and pull you into his chest, you close your eyes and just let him hold you in that moment. You were tired, that was for sure, even though you had slept on the plane. You were stressed.Things were about to change, and the last time things changed a great deal for you, let's be honest, you lost a lot, and your mind felt like it just couldn't keep up with it all. Then there was this dinner thing tonight.

"I’m okay. Jensen, Do you really think this whole meeting your friends for dinner thing and bringing me along is a good idea? I mean, Jared still isn't my biggest fan. What if they all hate me too?"

Jensen placed his forehead on top of yours, making you look him in the eyes. 

"Baby, everything is going to be fine. Jared is coming around. Don't worry about him, and as far as everyone else, they aren't as protective over me as Jared is. So don't worry. Everything will be just fine."

Jensen didn't seem nervous, even though you felt like you wanted to jump out of your skin. Looking down at yourself as he pulled away from you for a moment, you decided that maybe a shower and fixing yourself up a little bit wouldn't hurt. Fans may be out and about, and people knew what you looked like now. So going to the restaurant looking like a hobo wasn't really the best idea probably.

"I'm going to go take a shower, and get ready for tonight." you tell him quietly. He nods, giving you a little bit of space and time to yourself. 

"Okay, I'm going to go call them and see where we all are meeting, and what time they want to meet up. I don't want to be out too late, I want to have some alone time with you tonight."

------------------------------------------------

Less than three hours later you found yourself with Jensen sliding his hand in yours as the elevator descended to the bottom floor of the hotel. Jensen said the restaurant that all of you were eating at was walking distance from where you were staying, and you two should be fine just walking, that Jared was going to walk with the two of you as well.

You physically trembled with nerves, but you said nothing, just clung to Jensen's hand like if you let go you'd die.

"Everything is going to be fine Y/N.We've been married now for a while, they're going to love you. We've got a private table in the back of the restaurant, so fans won't be a problem. This is California, so they're used to seeing people like us in the area. Walking there isn't going to be an issue. Just relax baby." he said, bending down and kissing your lips lightly as the elevator came to a stop, pulling away just before the doors opened. 

You could already see Jared standing in the foyer of the hotel, looking around at the different flyers and things that were set up for tourists. He towered a good head and shoulders over most people in the building, so it wasn't like he was hard to spot. 

The walk to the little place that was something like a sports bar was only about three blocks up from the hotel.just as Jensen said.here was no one that even gave the three of you a second look. Jensen and Jared made fun of each other and anyone they saw along the way, laughing and joking like two teenage boys, rather than two grown ass men. 

Once inside the place, the hostess took you to the back of the place and seated you in a room where everyone was already waiting. The little room was completely concealed from the rest of the restaurant. Felica, Briana, Rob, and Richard all yelled their greeting as the three of you came into the room. They were like a bunch of kids that hadn't seen each other for a long time, each one getting up to greet the boys individually. 

"Jen, is this your wife?" the blonde woman you knew to be Briana from watching the con videos, said. You didn't realize you were hiding slightly behind him until you noticed that she had to lean  around Jensen to come face to face with you.

"Yeah, everyone this is Y/N. Y/N this is Rob, Richard, Briana, and Felica." 

They all greeted you warmly, but kept their distance, almost scensing you were nervous. Was it that obvious?

"Y/N a little shy guys, she's not used to all this, this all new to her." Jensen said, squeezing you tightly and planting a kiss on top of your forehead as he guided you around the table, sitting you next to Felica, before taking a seat on the other side of you. 

"So you guys ready for tomorrow?" Rob asked Jensen.The two of them dove into speculation and theories as to what was going to be brought to the table tomorrow. You sat there quietly as you watched all of them talk about things that were above your head. That went on for most of the dinner, only really breaking from their casual flowing conversation as the orders were taken and food was brought. You couldn't help but feel awkward, because you had nothing to interject into the conversation, then you couldn't help but be glad you didn't have to talk.You were a complicated creature.

"Y/N, how are you liking being married to Jensen?" Felica asked, leaning over and talking quietly as the boys were joking and making bets on if they would get this or that if they agreed to come back. Briana leaned into the conversation as well now, interested to hear what you were going to say.

"It's great! Jensen is wonderful." You really didn't know what to say. 

In all honesty even though  you and Jensen had been married for months, you really were just now starting to get to know each other, and getting comfortable with each other.

"I know that you guys didn't come by marriage the conventional way, but I can tell you this, the man is head over heels for you." Briana said, taking a swig  of her drink, looking at you more like a motherly figure than probably should have been allowed at this table of over grown adult children.

You smiled tightly and nodded, not really responding as you looked back down at your hands folded in your lap. 

The conversation carried on from there with them getting to know you a little more as the men acted... well, like themselves. 

It was finally time for the night to come to a close, and everyone stood and said their goodbyes. You were just about to walk out of the room with Jensen, when Briana yelled at you over the guys heads, running up to grab your arm.

"Felicia and I can't go to the meeting in the morning. Our isn't until tomorrow. Let's go get our nails done while we wait for the guys to come back and tell us the news!!!"

"Yes let's do it!" Felica interjected before you could get a word in.

"Well it's settled, two against one, we will pick you tomorrow Y/N!!" Briana said, grabbing her coat, kissing Jensen on the check and running off. You just stood there blinking for a moment. More social interaction. Great!!

"You will get used to her." Felica said, laughing as Jared grabbed her hat and took off running with it toward the street, and she chased after him yelling profanities, and laughing. 

Jensen laughed by your side, slipping his arm around you. You looked up at him, just watching him as he interacted with his old cast mates. He looked years younger around his friends when he finally let himself go. You couldn't deny him this opportunity to be around everyone again, and if they decided to bring the show back, seeing him like this was worth the fear. 

You only hoped one day he'd laugh with you like that.

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Tag List: @lyarr24​ @amandamdiehl​ @deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @lyss-dw79​ @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624​ @busy-bee-angel-misska​ @justanotherwinchester​ @brilovesdeanwinchester​ @idksupernatural​

[darkpoisonouslove]

More GxV Headcanons for the Soul (and Mind)

@ the anon that said they’d like to hear more of my Griffin and Valtor thoughts - I have some more that I just remembered. Hot from the oven even though I have had some of these ever since I first came back to this fandom last year.

I see Griffin and Valtor as complementary opposites if that makes sense. She is the water to his fire so to speak. Now we haven’t been told what element her magic revolves around and have only been given some general magical abilities she has so her element could as well be water, though I headcanon her magic is more related with space bodies and draws power from the cosmos. I look at the fire/water duality in a metaphorical way. We’ve seen Valtor’s temper on the show. He is definitely quick to anger and explode while he also can give you anything you want to warm your heart so to speak. And what we’ve seen from Griffin definitely places her temperament under the symbol of water for me in all of its states. We’ve seen her get angry much like boiling water turning to vapor, we’ve seen her be cold and calculating like ice and we’ve seen her being adaptive towards the shift in circumstances. To me she is the perfect embodiment of water as an element and the perfect complementary part to Valtor as she can both hold him back by being the rationality to his recklessness and she can match his temper to match him in his thirst for victory.

Now even though I don’t think her magic actually has anything to do with water, I headcanon Griffin as coming from a realm that is heavily water based and fares on producing crops. It’s what made her so good with plants as she knew all about them from a child and her specialty are herbs in particular. I like the idea that Griffin is actually pretty good in healing magic but she refuses to utilize her natural gift because she is tired of people reacting like it’s unheard of a witch to have healing powers. She got a lot of shit for that when she was younger so she’s suppressed that side of her powers even if it is her best and destructive magic requires a lot more effort than the healing spells that come naturally to her. Now all of this works to make her even more an opposite and simultaneously a complementary reflection of Valtor since his Dragon Fire is the thing that created all life but he is using it for destruction instead. Btw in one of my “drabbles” I wrote that in Griffin’s realm they didn’t have fireworks and all usage of fire was closely monitored due to the production of crops. You know, just for the heck of it as it made her partnership with Valtor an even more interesting dynamic. I even headcanon that she was wary of his fire powers at first just for the fact that it was fire and she was not exactly used to having someone so explosive around her at all times.

Also somewhat on the same topic, in 3x25 when Valtor used the spell of the elements against the realm of Magix, he sent water to CT and fire to Alfea which has been interesting to me to dig into. It may not have held a lot of significance as a choice to the writers but I think it rather makes sense because Valtor was so mad at Griffin about her betrayal that he thought she didn’t “deserve” to be ended by fire which is his element. And on the other hand, he was pretty pissed at Faragonda and there was already one unsuccessful attempt at permanently getting rid of her when he trapped her into the tree (unlike Griffin who he only imprisoned) so he wanted to make sure he’ll be rid of her once and for all and what better way to do that than fire? Also, of course, sending fire to Alfea aka Bloom makes sense and the Alfea/CT opposition of fire/water could have been based on the opposition between fairies and witches. Either way, I like to tie this to my personal headcanon about his and Griffin’s relationship on a symbolical level as well as his rage over the betrayal. I think it makes sense whether that was intended or not.

Speaking of CT, I have a fun question to ask right here right now (that I have actually been asking for over a year and a half now but never shared). Where does Valtor sleep in CT? We all know that he wanted to take everything Griffin had as revenge for leaving him which was why he chose CT as his new headquarters when he relocated. He’s mostly been shown to reside in her office after he took control of CT and only ever left it if he had to attend to something else (which I blame on the fact that the show was mostly like “We’ll make the villains so evil that you can’t even imagine them sleeping because that would imply a level of vulnerability that seems OOC.”) Hell, even his entrance during the confrontation with Griffin supports the idea that he wants to take her place since he made himself comfortable in her chair instantly (and Icy called him the new headmaster later). So after all of this, it would be logical to conclude that he sleeps in Griffin’s room and in her bed which I think has so much deliciously irresistible potential for angst on both parts. Like, it’s her space, her very personal, very private space that he has invaded. There is nothing sacred that he won’t touch in his quest for vengeance against her. But on the other hand, it is her space and everything in there will remind him of her and of the life she’s had after she left him for dead so to speak. Just think about the tragic implications that this set up has, soak them in, let them drown you in angst. I hadn’t shared this headcanon because I wanted to write a fic about it but that derailed and I haven’t found a good way to bring it back on track yet so I decided to finally talk about it because I just need it to be out there in the world. JUST. THINK. ABOUT. IT!!!!!!!

Another headcanon I have about them is that because they were partners and so close (it is strongly implied in canon that they did convergence together and that it was super powerful) and they were also in love and spent a lot of time together, Griffin got a feel of the Dragon Fire and can recognize the vibe it gives off so to speak. She just got attuned to the magical presence of the Dragon Fire and she can sense it even if she’s never had it herself. She’s felt it flowing together with her own magic and tangled so deeply with it that it’s almost entering her veins so many times that she’s learned how it feels and can recognize it instantly. And that is not true just about Valtor’s Dragon Fire but also about Marion and Bloom’s as well. In fact that is my explanation about her behavior in 1x06 when she attacked Winx in the library of CT. Her reaction is too overexaggerated to be normal in the situation (she legit tried to kill them for heaven’s sake) and I like to think that it was because she instantly noticed the similarity that Bloom bore to Marion and Oritel’s lost daughter but she didn’t sense any Dragon Fire coming from her because Bloom’s powers were still pretty dormant after not having been used for 16 years. Griffin thought the girl was an impostor so she attacked because she was mad about the painful memories of both Valtor and Marion and Bloom being invoked by this obviously fake “heir”. And one last thing here that I’ve already written out but it will take ages to find the post - Griffin got so used to Valtor’s fire that is was hard to be without it later so she literally conditioned herself into having a resistance to cold because she refused to be left shivering in the stead of his loss.

(I think I might have bitched about this already but I have more rage to spare and some new points to bring to the table so let’s have at it again.) Now is time for a little rant I have had ever since I rewatched s3 for the first time in the beginning of last year. It has to do with my last point in that regardless of whether Griffin can sense the Dragon Fire specifically or not, she can still sense other magic. We’ve seen it in 1x25 when she and Faragonda both sensed the Army of Decay even though it was still too far away for them to actually perceive it via any of their other senses. And we’ve seen it in 2x16 when she knew Lucy was eavesdropping despite the door that was in the way. That second one especially pisses me off so much because Lucy was a student - aka much weaker than Griffin - and she wasn’t using any magic while she was eavesdropping and Griffin still sensed her even though Ediltrude was talking to her and distracting her at the time. But then Valtor - literally the most powerful individual at the whole realm and possibly the universe at the time AND someone that she has closely worked with for years - teleports in her office which means that he used his immense power and she didn’t sense that and was surprised by him showing up. How does THAT make any sense? No, please, this is just ridiculous. She should have sensed him at the very least. I have no illusions that she stood a chance against him either way but it would have been good if they hadn’t made her look totally incompetent and had also let her throw a spell his way at the very least. They had a good opportunity for a battle there that they totally disregarded and I will be forever salty about that.

We all know that magic comes from emotions, right? Well, I have had an interesting idea which I have already included in two of my fics. What if you can read emotions through magic? We’ve all seen those moments when a character is so mad that they literally start glowing in a magical aura and their rage is tangible to everyone around so that had me thinking that perhaps the magic carries the emotional charge that powered it. And if you get attuned enough to it, you can start reading the emotions tangled in the magic. If they spawned it, it would make sense that there are traces of them left in the magic. And it could make perfect sense when it comes to convergence as the binding element in the spell. Like, we know Winx all have different elements but are able to pull off convergence seamlessly  because of the harmony in their feelings. The emotions could very well be acting like the common thing between the different sets of powers that ties them together to allow them all to flow towards the same goal and the spell to be completed. And since I have a headcanon that Griffin is pretty good at reading magical auras and we know that Valtor was literally carved from magic, it would make sense that the two of them would be able to read the emotional charge that a spell carries. I actually like to imagine it was Valtor that taught Griffin how to do that but she got even better than him at it with some practice because she is more in tune with her own emotions and has higher empathy. Also headcanon that they have done that with each other and it helped strengthen both their romantic relationship and their partnership. It was what made Valtor especially mad after she left because that was undeniable proof that she hadn’t been faking her feelings for him which he wanted to pretend was what happened so that it would hurt less. It’s not something anyone can fake.

I also like to think that Valtor taught Griffin a lot about magic and he did it in the way in which he understood and practiced magic. Aka he taught her a more instinctive approach to magic rather than the more academic and removed approach that the magical schools teach. Formal magical education looks at emotions as something that powers magic and thus has to be controlled because it can be dangerous. Magic itself is treated as a weapon or a servant to the magic user which to Valtor seems ridiculous since he is literally made of magic. He was magic before he was a person so for him the two are inseparable. It was exactly what he taught Griffin - that magic is not some tool you use whenever you need it. It is a part of you that you need to accept as equal to your other parts and your consciousness. If you do that, it unlocks a greater potential for power due to the closer connection you have established with your magic. It sort of has the magic user and the magic become one and it is hard to tell who is controlling what. It’s a more dangerous approach because instincts can take over and steer things in uncontrollable directions which is why it isn’t taught in magical schools. Griffin was bitter at first when she learned how much more there was to her magic that her education didn’t teach her about but the more she used the approach Valtor taught her, the more she realized why that was. And especially when she became headmistress of CT, she knew it would be irresponsible to teach young and inexperienced witches that kind of approach to magic. Still, she feels like she takes away from them by not teaching them about the full extent of their powers so she has been looking for ways to include more about getting in touch with one’s own inner feelings for better access to their magic in her lessons so that the witches can use more of their powers.

[poi-bigbang]

Art Claims

(Thank you @caviezeldaily​ for this amazing banner!)

Here are the remaining summaries up for claim in the POI Big Bang: 

1. Title: Carbines and Capacitors

Relationships: Gen (Joss & Cheyenne, other Team Machine friendships); background John/Joss, brief Harold/Grace and Laskey/OFC, brief unrequited Shaw/Cheyenne, mention of past Joss/Cal and Cheyenne/Irene Travers, two staged scenes that are explicitly not preludes to romance Characters: (in order of appearance) Cheyenne Bodie, Joss Carter, Mike Laskey, Lionel Fusco, John Reese, Harold Finch, Bear, The Machine, Sameen Shaw, Zoe Morgan, Patrick Simmons, Raymond Terney, Genrika Zhirova, Timothy Sloan, Root | Samantha Groves, Peter Collier, Anthony Marconi, Carl Elias, Peter Yogorov, Grace Hendricks, Andrew Monahan, Alonzo Quinn, Fermin Ordoñez, Arthur Claypool, Tom "Sugarfoot" Brewster, Bronco Layne Rating: Teen Summary: A routine day for Team Machine turns into anything but when a cowboy from 1880 falls out of thin air and lands practically at Carter's feet.  Getting him well and acclimated to life in 2013 is only half the battle.  Computers are out of his line, but he does have other skills Finch can use… so the best laid schemes of Greer and Quinn are about to run into a 6'6" tank named Cheyenne Bodie. (Season 3 AU, crossover with Cheyenne, with cameos from Sugarfoot and Bronco)

(Wikipedia links: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheyenne_(TV_series); https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sugarfoot; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronco_(TV_series); Fandom wiki: https://cheyenne.fandom.com/wiki/Cheyenne_Wiki; IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0047720/) Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply; References to historical atrocities, uncomfortably timely conversations, canon-typical violence, canon-typical threats of violence, crude remarks by Shaw, Cheyenne comes from a 1950s Western and speaks/thinks/acts accordingly (but as in canon, he hates racism and injustice) Art Wishlist: Open to any media, although traditional/digital might be more suitable than manips because most available images of Cheyenne are B&W--as was the show, so vids and gifs might have the same problem.  Podfic would be welcome, and the story is finished (and long!), but recording could be a challenge because Cheyenne's voice is lower than John's and because there are lots of footnotes and a few words in the Northern Cheyenne dialect, Dutch, Spanish, Sioux, Russian, and Hebrew.  Cheyenne wears a very distinctive hat (brown with silver arrowheads around the band) that could be drawn as part of a still-life banner or divider, possibly with a Colt Peacemaker and a Desert Eagle (crossed?).  Also, if you're interested in illustrating a scene, there are... rather a lot to choose from, but I think I'd go for one of Cheyenne with John, Joss, and/or Shaw.  I will happily work with any artist to find what source/reference materials are needed--I don't know where Cheyenne is available to watch outside the US, but there are at least clips posted on YouTube.

2. Title: Spare Me Relationships: Lionel Fusco/John Reese Characters: Lionel Fusco, John Reese, Lee Fusco, Harold Finch, Bear, Root, Original Characters Rating: (use AO3 system) T (for a kiss and Fusco's bad language) Summary: (<100 words) "I don't need a genius to tell me that you're lonely." Fusco invites John to join the NYPD bowling league to give John something normal and fun to do for once. But soon Fusco realizes that John isn't the only one who's lonely. Warnings: (use AO3 system) None Art Wishlist: (what media you're open to, hoping for, any ideas) Anything is fine by me! I've never had someone make art for a story of mine, so I'm easy to please! 

3. Title: Kingfishers

Relationships: Harold Finch/John Reese/Grace Hendricks

Rating: M at the moment, maaaybe E by the time I’m done

Summary:

One morning, a handsome stranger walks up to Grace Hendricks in a park and introduces himself. His name is John, and he likes her paintings.

That afternoon, Grace meets a wealthy insurance executive who offers her a sizable art commission. He’s intelligent, interesting, and easy to talk to. His name is Harold.

(A different-first-meeting story, in which Harold ignored the Machine’s attempts to set him up with Grace in 2006, only to receive her number in 2012 after he and John have been working together for over a year.)

Warnings: inexplicit references to child abuse and alcoholism

Art Wishlist: Grace’s paintings and sketches, and her feelings about the art and artists she admires, are pretty important to the story. There are passages where I describe pictures and paintings she’s created, or beautiful objects of various kinds that she and Harold both admire. An illustration of any of that stuff would be amazing, or maybe a kind of Pre-Raphaelite picture of the characters. Also, kingfishers are kind of thematically/symbolically important, and very beautiful, and would make lovely art.

Two requests: please don’t make art of Harold and John that excludes Grace, and please no NSFW art.

4. [Fic previously claimed! Should not have been here! Apologies!]

5. Title: More Than Words Relationships: John Reese/Harold Finch/Grace Hendricks Characters: John Reese, Harold Finch, Grace Hendricks Rating: General Audiences Summary: John and Harold have a lot in common. They've loved. They've lost. They've done their best to help people. And now they have a matching pair of soulmarks- tattoos bearing the first words your soulmate says to you. The marks aren't what bring John and Harold together. But they might end up tearing the two of them apart. Warnings: Choose Not to Use Archive Warnings (this fic should be tagged for some of John's suicidal ideation pre-season 1 and in the fic) Art Wishlist: Looking for visual media/graphic design. Since this is a soulmate/soulmark AU, I would be very happy if someone could design the tattoos I have in mind, in their medium of choice. I am willing to collaborate, or just see what they come up with. But while that is my ideal art pairing, I am open to anything!

6. Title: Untitled Relationships: Harold/John Characters: Harold, John, Bear, Shaw, Fusco, Carter, OCs, *possibly* an appearance by Root Rating: Teen & Up Summary: When a number goes wrong and Harold is stabbed, his entire life is thrown into disarray. Seriously injured, he's left with no choice but to rely on someone else as he recovers. He chooses John (or, rather, John chooses himself) and invites John into his home and his very private life as he slowly heals from the trauma and the wounds.

What happens when he realizes he wants John to stay close? Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply (additional warning for panic attacks and memories of a violent attack) Art Wishlist: I'd especially love illustrations (traditional or digital), but I'm game for anything.

7. Title: Bonds Not Broken - Maybe??? Relationships: John Reese/Harold Finch Characters: John Reese, Harold Finch, Sameen Shaw, OCs, Elias, Heralds of Valdemar characters, Rolan, Weaponmaster Hersch, King Jesse, Bear the dog, a cast of thousands Rating: Adult M/M Summary: An AU Person of Interest/Heralds of Valdemar crossover. John is not only a Herald, but the King's Own. The story begins with the death of the king, and this is John's journey to find his place in Valdemar. Warnings: Author Chooses None Art Wishlist: I like most styles of fanart except chibi. I love a good photo manip but really anything! If the artist is interested, I have an Instagram where I put pictures that helped me write this monster. The instagram is blackchaps with a Hawkeye icon, easy to find.

8. Title: Untitled (for now) Relationships: Harold Finch/Lionel Fusco, Lionel Fusco & Sameen Shaw, Harold Finch & Sameen Shaw Characters: Harold Finch, Lionel Fusco, Sameen Shaw, Bear, Leon Tao Rating: E Summary: One year after the death of Samaritan, Harold Finch returns to New York City and reunites with his old friends. Sameen Shaw and Lionel Fusco, who have believed him to be dead for the past 12 months, are not exactly eager to trust him again. As Harold handles mysterious cases on the outside of their new organization, he works to repair his relationships with both. Sameen, who doubts his commitment, will be hard to convince. Lionel, who bears deep emotional scars, will be impossible. Warnings: Canon typical violence, drug/alcohol use Art Wishlist: I’m super flexible re: medium. I’m very into the idea of space-centric or detail-centric art, as opposed to character-centric art, if that makes sense. Re: space-centric, a lot of the fic is about loneliness and puts the characters in empty, uncomfortable, or sad rooms and the vibe is very like these Edward Hopper paintings, I think. Alternatively, it’s Finch POV and he’s doing a lot of focusing on tiiiiiiny details and significant objects, and I’d love some fancypants studies or edits of those.

9. Title: Degrees of Separation Relationships: Gen (but the whole point of the story is that they’ve all been separated, so there are no relationships in action) Characters: John Reese, Harold Finch, Sameen Shaw, Root, Lionel Fusco, Bear Rating: Teen and Up (due to a limited use of common profanity) Summary: The lives of the members of Team Machine in their new identities during the first months of Samaritan’s full operation, from the separation of the team at the end of “Deus Ex Machina” through the events that take place in “Panopticon.” Warnings: Choose Not to Use Archive Warnings Art Wishlist: I am open to any medium.  It would be great if the art focused on the separation that the characters are experiencing.

10. Title: If I Could Tell Him Relationships: Harold Finch/John Reese; Harold Finch & Root; minor Root/Sameen Shaw; past Harold Finch/Nathan Ingram Characters: Harold Finch, John Reese, Root, Nathan Ingram (mentioned) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Summary: Harold manages to tap on the fourth wall of 4x17 “Karma” and has some thoughts about the mirroring of himself with the victim counselor vigilante Shane Edwards. He and John go on their walk with Bear, but Harold keeps what he’s feeling to himself. Years later, after all of Team Machine survives the defeat of Samaritan, Harold comes across Edwards and realizes he never talked with John about all of the emotions that number still fosters, specifically regarding Nathan. Root gives him some advice, and they all work on a happiness that encompasses the past, present, and future. Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Art Wishlist: I’m open to anything, from digital art to fanmixes and anything else, really. This is a rinch fic but it’s also basically a Harold character study (entirely from his POV and a lot of internal narrative) so any art could probably focus on him.

11. 

Title: The Mysterious Human Heart in New York Relationships: Jessica/John, Harold and Jessica, Harold and John Characters: Jessica, John, Harold, Fusco Rating: Teen Summary: Agent Jessica Reese has managed to claw her way back from Ordos after being betrayed by her partner and the CIA. Gutshot and purposeless, she spends her days haunting the hospital in New Rochelle, watching her ex, John. John has his happily ever after: got his nursing degree, married a great guy, lives in a beautiful house. Jess is glad. He should be happy with Peter.

When she bumps into the mysterious Harold Finch, who knows too much about everyone, he tells her the unpleasant truth about John's dream marriage. Jess must face up to the fact that John needs her help to find safety and happiness. Warnings: Show level violence, some medical detail as John is a nurse. Art Wishlist: I am open to any medium except audio.  

12. Title: To my God, I sacrifice Relationships: John Reese & Root, John Reese/ Kara Stanton Characters: John Reese, Root, Sameen Shaw, Hersh, Kara Stanton, Harold Finch (mentioned) Rating: Mature Summary: Former soldier and CIA agent John Reese has condemned himself to a slow death after being burned by the agency. After witnessing a strange woman answering a forgotten payphone, he suddenly finds himself entangled in a web of secrets, zealotry and violence. Warnings: Canon typical violence, canon typical torture, mentions of suicide and rape, abusive/unbalanced dynamics, alcoholism Art Wishlist: I don't have any particular requests in regards to the art, I'm curious about what will the artist choose to interpret. If I had to choose, a scene illustration or a cover would be very cool :)

If you’d like to make art for any of these fics, the sign-ups for artists are here: 

https://poi-fanworks.dreamwidth.org/27461.html

And the claim post is here: 

https://poi-fanworks.dreamwidth.org/31548.html

[zapzapbap]

Freezing Heat

Genre - Smut (+18)

Scenario - Friends to lovers au, Dom!Tae, sub!reader, female reader

Synopsis - You and Taehyung are trapped in a car in the middle of a snowstorm. One way or another, he is determined to keep you warm.

Warning - Overprotective Tae, Dom!Tae, sub!reader, cockwarming, car sex, p0ssyjob!, big dick Tae, unprotected sex (stay safe kids), slight!creampie fetish, slight!voyeurism. Read at your own risk!

~-~

"Stop squirming."

Two words, said in such a strict tone that if it weren't for the fact that they came from the lips of your childhood best friend you'd be submitting completely.

Yet, here you were. He had you wrapped tightly in an almost suffocating embrace, engulfed in an expensive faux-leather coat that probably cost enough to put you through college, trapped in a car in the middle of nowhere feeling suddenly hyperaware of yourself and claustrophobic. A quick look outside the window only showed snow continuing to pour, coating the ground in a beautiful thick winter blanket. If it weren't for the fact that it was trapping you there, it would have been a beautiful sight.

"Tae, there's no need to do this. We still have heat." You countered, still trying to squirm out of his firm grip. He frowned, pressing his lips in a thin line as he rested his head upon your shoulder, and you scoffed in annoyance. "The rescuers should be here any minute anyway, so you can put me down now."

"No." He replied, pouting. "I have to keep you warm. The engine could die any minute now."

"Ugh! Fine!" You pouted, and he smirked triumphantly. "But if I die of a heat stroke before then, I'm blaming you."

~-~

Skiing.

Now, sports weren't a thing you were good at. They required a lot of coordination, control of your body, fluid movement and joints... All of which were not your forte. The most sporty you had ever been was a 3 month dabble into some at-home yoga. It promptly ended in failure after a particular embarrassing incident left you with a dislocated shoulder, a possibly broken or misplaced tailbone, and a laughing best friend to to pop your joints back in place.

So when he invited you for a week-long getaway to an exclusive skiing resort in the mountains, you balked.

"Are you kidding me, Tae?" You said, incredulous. "What do I look like going up to a mountain resort with a bunch of famous people?"

"Oh come on! Don't be like that!" He said, pouting. "You make it sound so intimidating. It's not. It's just a cool trip between friends, that's all."

You rolled your eyes. Of course that's what he thought. Sweet, naive Kim Taehyung. Out of all the years you had known him, he had always had that childlike innocence about him when it came to things like this. However, you knew better by now.

At first, when he became an idol things were fine. ARMY had been relatively welcoming when they found out about his childhood best friend that he always had by his side in past photos and occasional public appearances. But as his fame started rising, slowly, seeds began to plant over time. First, an odd fan here or there who would joke about Taehyung's "ex girlfriend." Then, a jealous fansite who insisted on cropping you out of photos and deliberately mistranslated some things Tae had said about you in public appearances. Then, finally, bold yet baseless claims that you were a saesang, invading his private life and constantly interfering in his affairs because you had been his "childhood girlfriend" and was secretly a scorned lover.

Although there was enough evidence to easily debunk those rumors, enough ARMY believed them to make your life a living nightmare for months. Slandering your name online wasn't enough. Some even made public threats against you and your family's lives.

It eventually culminated in Bighit having to make a statement, clarifying that you were indeed his childhood best friend and that any continued harassment online would result in a defamation lawsuit. Not too long afterwards, the company revealed that you were a producer-in-training, working under the guidance of Adora. Things quickly calmed down after that.

Still, the pain of that predicament left a scar on your psyche. You had to be careful around Tae from now on.

However, Tae seemed to not get the memo.

One way or another, he was determined to get your friendship back on track. When the whole thing with ARMY finally came to an end, he was determined to show those toxic fans that the friendship between the two of you was not ruined.

He liked all your pictures on with the official BTS twitter account. He publicly thanked you for tracks you had produced or contributed to. He took you out for outings with the guys, so much so that the fandom had nicknamed you the 8th or 9th member. He name-dropped you in lives, telling embarrassing childhood stories and other tales from your youth.

Now, as good as that was to rebuild your reputation and validate your friendship to the public, it also ignited dating rumors and talks of nepotism behind the scenes. Which meant that the crazy part of the fandom that attacked you, although smaller now, became loud and angry once again. Threats had only been made online this time, but still enough to scare you.

But Tae... He knew how to play you.

"Y/N, please!" He begged, widening his eyes and pouting his lips. "I feel like we never hang out. It's not like when we were kids anymore. Now I can take you anywhere in the world."

"But Tae, you know what happened last t-"

"Y/N, please?" Oh no. The dreaded voice crack. Your kryptonite. "We're living lush, now. Let's enjoy it."

"You're living lush." You countered, annoyed, but knowing you already lost this battle.

"Right. And I'm sharing it with you." He said cheerily, smiling his signature boxy smile. "So what do you say?"

Sighing, you nodded and he cheered in glee.

"Text me the details, okay?"

~-~

All things considered, it was a fairly normal trip. After a particularly embarrassing fall after seeing your bias from Monsta X glide down the mountain like a professional, Tae had decided to stick by your side the rest of the trip to prevent any injuries that might occur. He introduced you to all his friends that came along, you had a movie night at the lodge with Jimin and Jin (who had tagged along, as they were meeting up with friends for the weekend too). You had the best hot chocolate you have ever had in your life, and you (begrudgingly) attempted to skii a few more times... All of which were fairly unsuccessful, but at least they were more fun than the last time.

So, when Jimin suggested that someone go down to the mountain to grab some alcohol not available at the lodge, it didn't seem like too bad of an idea. Taehyung immediately volunteered to go, and Jimin gave him the keys to Jin's rental car. And, not wanting you to be by yourself, he dragged you along, and you didn't object. You were all having fun. Why not have some more?

You should have checked the weather.

~-~

15 minutes.

That's how long it took for 10 centimeters of snow to cover the ground.

By the time you guys were halfway back to the lodge, the front tire had gotten stuck in a pothole. 5 minutes and 10 more centimeters of snow later, Tae had called for help with the little bit of remaining battery on his phone.

Estimated rescue time would be thirty to forty five minutes.

Overprotective Tae activated.

"Y/N-ah. I'll keep you warm!"

~-~

Okay, so admittedly his coat felt nice.

And, although the grip on your waist was kind of tight, something about his hands wrapped around you felt comfortable. If it weren't for your current situation, a scenario like this between you two wouldn't have felt so odd.

However, something about the way the snow was coming down around you two and the small cramped space of the car... It just felt strangely uncomfortable.

After a few minutes of tense silence, you finally spoke up.

"Tae?"

"Yes, Y/N."

"I'm scared."

He tensed, looking up at you through the expanse of his thick straight lashes. His expression was unreadable. He hugged you closer towards him, and sighed.

"It's okay." He said, his dark eyes staring comfortably ahead of you. "Everything's going to be oka-"

And, there goes the heat.

"Shit." You cursed, huffing in annoyance. "What do we do now?"

"I told you. The rescuers are coming. And until then, I'm going to keep you warm." He smiled reassuringly, loosening his grip on your waist a bit. "Trust me. Okay?"

Silence.

Something in you told you that your panic was natural. This was a terrifying situation, after all. People died in storms like this.

However, another part of you told yourself that you would make it out of this. That you'd both be fine as long as you were together. And no amount of natural occurrence was going to stop Tae from fulfilling his promise to you.

"Okay." You agreed, closing your eyes as you covered one of his large hands that was wrapped around your waist with your smaller one. "I trust you."

~-~

Slowly, cold seeped into the car like a virus, infecting your skin with goosebumps and shivers. You found yourself subconsciously cuddling closer to Tae for warmth, who found himself shivering beneath you. Oh no.

"Tae, are you okay?" You asked, and he sfuffed.

"I'm fine." He said, gritting his teeth. "No need to worry about me, Y/N. I'm here to take care of you, not the other way around."

The thought left you without apprehension, no warning as it slipped between your lips.

"We could take our clothes off."

He froze, and looked at you once again. His expression was unreadable, except for a brief glint flashing behind his dark eyes that you couldn't quite understand.

"What?" He stated now, tensing against you. You gulped. His voice... You had never heard it go quite that low before. You swore you could feel the deep vibrations of the single word rattling inside your ribcage.

"Um..." Nervousness suddenly overtook you, and you couldn't look at him. "I just read it in a pamphlet once. I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea."

"No it's not, " he said quickly, releasing his grip on you a bit. "If it means keeping you warm, Y/N, then it's okay."

"Okay."

Silence, once again.

Tae released you, pushing you forward enough to have enough room. Quickly, he shed his shirt, ridding himself of the garment as he tossed it precariously on the passenger's seat floor next to you. He made it look so easy.

Looking away, you pressed your lips into a thin line and kept your eyes on the ground. You were cold now, and not from the storm.

"Y/N?" He asked, looking at you awkwardly, his top half now prickling with goosebumps as the air continued to chill. "Do you need me to look away?"

You nodded, suddenly feeling very small. He nodded in agreement, closing his eyes immediately. Turning away from him, you stripped yourself of your shirt, tossing it atop Tae's, and pressed your back against his cool chest, wincing a little at the sudden contact. Tae once again wrapped his arms around you and shrugged his leather coat around you both.

"See? Nothing to worry about."

Pressing your lips in a thin line, you nodded and you both settled into awkward silence.

~-~

Another hour passed.

Precisely an hour after your estimated rescue time.

Tae kept you both calm by singing songs softly to lighten the mood. Taking your clothes off admittedly had been a good idea. His honey skin pressed against yours had you both warm in no time.

However, the longer you two stayed in the cold, the more you were beginning to feel it. As time passed, you had both resigned to climbing into the backseat and stripping down to your underwear and covering yourself with both of your coats. Yet Tae was still shivering.

Quite frankly, it was troubling. Without noticing, you began to squirm again in his lap. He tensed up immediately.

"Hey! What are you doing?" He stated, an edge to his voice that had you tensing in shock.

"Nothing." You said quickly, looking at your hands. He pressed his lips into a thin line, and looked out the window. You felt his arm quiver against your side, and you squirmed again. He whipped his head back towards you, and his jaw tensed.

"Y/N, quit it." He warned, his eyes darkening in annoyance.

"I'm not doing anything tho!" You countered, crossing your arms. Unbeknownst to you, that little action caused you to bounce lightly in his lap, and his eyes widened in panic.

"Y/N, don't -." He begged, now desperately. You scrunched your face in annoyance, turning slightly in his lap to angle yourself away from him, feeling hurt.

"It's fine, Tae. I get it. We can put our clothes back on if you're that disgusted by me." You said, now too embarrassed to look him in the face. "Besides, your leg is kinda uncomfortable anyway."

"Y/N, that's not my leg."

Your eyes snapped, and you became stiff as a board. Realization hit you, and as you looked back to meet Taehyung's gaze your mouth ran dry. You had caused a...big...issue for him. Possibly for you both.

Needless to say neither of you were cold anymore.

"Holy shit, Tae." You said suddenly, gulping. He looked away, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment as you suppressed a snicker. "Guess you don't find me disgusting after all, huh?" He grinned, chuckling as he turned back to look at you. "Have you been...like that...this whole time?"

"No. It's just - Y/N I told you to stop squirming!" He whined, making you giggle. "And I didn't want to freak you out. I'm not a pervert! I swear! It's just, you kept moving!" You laughed now, and he frowned in annoyance. "I'm sorry, okay? But I'm a man, y'know. It just happens sometimes. I just wanted to wait for it to go down."

"It's okay, Tae. I understand." You said calmly, caressing his cheek in your hand. "But are you having trouble, getting your um... soldier down?" His jaw tensed, seemingly in annoyance, and he huffed but nodded. "Is it normally like this?"

"No, Y/N. I don’t normally have beautiful, half-naked women sitting on my lap in the back of a car, either." He replied snappily, a sudden grit to his voice that had your thighs suddenly tensing.

Tense silence suddenly overcame the both of you. The air suddenly thick with tension and indecision.

There was an uncertain contest happening between you two. One of you would break soon. It just wasn't clear who it would be.

Long ago, you had found yourself becoming attracted to Tae. But as soon as that whole debacle with ARMY happened, you had resigned yourself to never even entertaining the thought of becoming something more to him. Besides, he wasn't even attracted to you.

...Or so you thought...

Although the expression in his eyes wasn't clear, you could tell by his difficulty putting his deputy back into place that you had an affect on him. And, he had just called you beautiful to boot! And yet, still a question hung in the air.

How would he... fit?

I mean, you're not inexperienced, but you're also not an expert in sex or sexual encounters by any means. But Tae, well... He's possibly the biggest you've ever felt in real life. Length and girth. What would that even feel like? Could you even take it?

Looking at Taehyung, you still couldn't quite get a grip on what he was thinking. It was obvious that he wasn't going to confront you about it at all, and you really didn't want him to sit here and be uncomfortable, or worse, in pain because of the problem between his legs. So you finally broke the tension.

"You could put it..." You swallowed, nervous as hell but maintaining eye contact with him, as he raised his eyebrow and cocked his head in curiosity. "...Inside me."

His mouth dropped in shock. For a moment he just stared at you, wide-eyed like a deer in headlights. Maybe this was a bad idea -

"Um, sure." He answered, still wide-eyed but a bit more composed. "But, um. What do you want me to do exactly?"

Ah, shit! Now you have to explain to him what you meant!

"Well, um. I don’t - uh..." Great. Now you're stuttering. Was this a bad idea? "Um. So you don't have to fuck me. But, like, a friend of mine and I were talking the other day about this thing she does with her boyfriend sometimes. Like, when he's tired but they haven't had sex in a while, she'll just sit on his dick and they'll cuddle like that." God you sounded crazy. Yep. This was definitely a bad idea. "So, I was thinking, maybe we could try it? Just to see if it helps?"

He didn't say a word, but the look in his eyes... You've never seen him look at you that way before. He nodded gently, and you carefully lifted off of his lap so he could slide his boxers down. Nothing could have prepared you for this.

Good lord, he was big. Long, thick, veiny, and slick with pre-cum. How was he going to fit?

"Jeez, Tae. You're big." You blurted, not really thinking, and he smirked. But then you just ended up sitting there for a moment. Gawking at him. Awkwardly. He cleared his throat, snapping you out of...whatever that was, and you jolted back into reality. "Oh. Yeah. Right. Sorry."

Turning around, you shuffled back onto his lap, now conscious of the fact that he was completely naked underneath you. Hovering over his lap, Tae slunk an arm around your waist, the other posing his cock at the base of your clothed entrance, and moved your panties aside. You swallowed as you felt him press the fat head of his cock against your entrance, taking a deep breath as you slowly started to lower yourself.

The stretch was unbelievable. Never in your life had you imagined feeling this full, and you had barely taken a lot of him in yet. A delicious mixture of pleasure and pain as you made your descent -

"HrrMmmmph." You whined, suddenly stopping and taking a deep breathe. Taehyung immediately tensed, and you grabbed a hold of the back of the passenger seat to steady yourself.

"Y/N?" He said, worried. "We don't have to do this. I don’t want to hurt you -."

"No, no! It's okay!" You said, still a little breathless. "We can still do this. I'm just not wet enough, I think."

He perked up instantly, quickly removing himself, making you wince and whimper in pain.

"Oh! Sorry!" He said apologetically, grabbing your waist to help you lower yourself onto the seat next to him. He then perked up, his eyes suddenly lighting up with excitement. "But I can help you with that."

This time, your face was the one to fall in shock, but Taehyung only smirked back in response.

"Oh! Um - but - uh - Tae what?" You stuttered, suddenly unable to calm your nerves and rising heartbeat.

This, however, didn't faze Tae.

"I said..." He smirked, a dark, commanding look suddenly overtaking his features as his voice dropped an octave lower. "Lay down, Y/N."

You gulped, and took one last look at him. Now you recognized that unfamiliar flicker in his eyes; hunger, lust, excitement. Wordlessly, you laid down on your back, feeling very vulnerable as Taehyung drank in the sight of you underneath him.

His tongue ran over his bottom lip as he climbed over you, hand running up your thigh hanging off of the seat, up to our hips angled against the seat belt so as to not dig into your sides too much, and finally, up to your clothed breast. Taking a brief breath, he kept his gaze focused on you and his touch lightly grazing the underside of your bra. Your body tensed with anticipation underneath him, and you resisted the urge to grab him and kiss him closer to you.

"...Can I touch you?" He asked, biting his bottom lip in apprehension. Your eyes snapped back to his to meet his gaze. You could tell he really, really wanted to touch you but he wasn't going to do anything you didn't want to do.

You nodded. Closing your eyes, you felt him snake his large hand underneath your bra, giving your breast a gentle but firm squeeze, and you breathed a sigh in content. Tae must've taken that as a positive, because he kept going in that vein, kneading your breast with his large hand, making you mewl beneath him. Cupping your breast in his hand once again, you felt him curl his thumb and pointer finger to meet at the peak. Taking your nipple between the two, he rolled it back and forth, and you sighed in content beneath him.

Tae licked his lips before dipping down to meet your surprised gaze. Smirking, he lowered himself, careful to keep his hand where it was as he began trailing soft kisses down your neck and on your shoulders. Leaning into his touch, you sighed softly beneath him, that sigh quickly transforming into a low moan as you felt him suck the skin at the nape of your neck.

Relishing in the sounds you making beneath him, he continued, trailing sweet little hickey all across your neck and collarbone until he met his final destination. You hadn't realized had taken your other nipple into his mouth until you felt him take it between the his lips, the fabric of your bra still a barrier between his mouth and your bare skin.

You felt his other hand creep up your other thigh, bent at the knee to press against the seat and give him room, and you whined as you felt him continue to snake further and further up but never where you wanted it to be. You could feel wetness start to dampen your panties at the anticipation.

"Tae..." You whined, your eyes still closed. "Please touch me."

You couldn't see him now, but you could feel him smirk against your breast, stopping suddenly to look you in the eyes, his expression amused.

"Where do you want me?" He taunted, his tone low, heavy, commanding. "Be specific."

"Uh -." You gulped, fixing yourself to properly look at the man who you know would devour you if you let him. "I want your dick." He smirked, pleased to hear you be so bold.

Pulling your panties aside, he once again poised himself at your entrance, and you gasped, quickly grabbing onto his shoulders to stop him.

"Wait!" You exclaimed, and his face fell. "No. Not like that. Not yet." He hummed quietly, waiting for an answer. "Can you...rub me? With your dick, Tae? Please! I want to feel you."

He gawked, turning his gaze away from you.

"Fuck, you're driving me crazy, Y/N." He stated, chuckling before turning back to you.

Grabbing the head of his cock, he spit into his hand and dragged the saliva down his shaft. Then, dragged the tip slowly up your folds, mixing your slick together, before stopping at your clit to rub it with the tip of his dick in slow circles. You moaned beneath him, angling your hips for more friction, and Tae cursed.

"Fuck, Tae, just like that..." You purred, licking your lips as he rubbed you. With each drag of his tip through your folds, you felt yourself becoming slicker and slicker, and Tae moaned above you as he felt the warm wetness coat him.

Without warning, Tae suddenly pulled his whole form away from you, making you whine. Smirking above you, he hooked his fingers underneath your panties, sliding the shaft of his cock between them and your folds, and you whined as you felt the sudden friction on your clit. Grabbing your hips, he angled them towards him and wrapped your legs around his waist as he began thrusting back and forth, dragging his shaft between your slick folds. You moaned his name, which he rewarded with a low groan.

Each thrust was deep, long, and precise. Just enough friction to build that fire in your veins, a slow burn that you treasured and rewarded with the sweetest whimpers and moans for him.

"Faster..." You whispered, feeling the world melt underneath you as you felt your orgasm build.

"What?" He asked, slowing his thrusts, making you whine.

"Faster, Tae! Please!" You begged, and he chuckled.

"Mmm... But I like this." You gasped, and he chuckled, clearly enjoying your shock as he toyed with you. "You did just need me to get you wet, and now you're soaking." He was right. The dampness between your legs had gradually built into a sickness that coated your pussy and thighs, more than enough for Taehyung to sink into you if you both wanted it. But he knew what you wanted, and was enjoying every minute of dragging it out of you. "Unless you want me to make you cum? Is that what you want?"

"Taehyung..." You whimpered, lip quivering as you felt the slow burn of your approaching orgasm start to fade. "D-don't tease me. Please."

"Beg then." Did he just growl? Holy shit.

Embarrassed, but too horny to care, the words slipped through your lips with ease. "Please go faster, Taehyung. Please make me cum. Please."

Groaning, he unhooked your legs from around his waist and swung them around his shoulders, trapping his cock between your thighs and increasing the pressure against your clit. He didn't waste any time giving you what you wanted; long, fast thrusts, the friction against your clit by his long shaft making you delirious. You couldn't stop yourself from moaning his name, feeling his fingers press dents into your hips. You're eyes rolled into the back of your eyelids as you felt that fire building again, toes curling and thighs tightening.

The visual was unbelievable. It took Taehyung everything he had to not cum right then and there, but he knew you were close and he wanted - no, needed - to see you fall over the edge due to his touch.

A moment, and just the right angle was all it took, and you finally came undone beneath him. Head thrown back, hands pressing against the cold glass of the window for support, stomach tensing and legs shaking as his name fell from your lips in a sweet whine. Fuck. Taehyung had never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

As the embers of your orgasm faded, Taehyung slipped his cock from between your panties and thighs and lifted you into his lap. Grabbing a hold of his shoulders for support, still struggling to catch your breath, your lifted yourself, hovering above his lap. This time, Taehyung wasn't slick with his desire, trailing a hand down your ass, making you tense with anticipation as he yanked your panties away from your wet center.

Pressing the head of his cock at your entrance, he groaned as you once again sank down onto his length. A low moan escaped your throat as you felt his incredible girth stretch your walls, and Taehyung groaned in appreciation as your tight walls wrapped around him.

Finally, when a considerable amount was inside, you stopped. Taehyung wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his face against your neck. You sighed, the air finally feeling steady.

A few moments of peace passed between you two. Things felt very...cool. Calm. Intimate.

Taehyung lifted his head from its comfortable spot on your shoulders to rest upon your forehead...and smirked. Trailing his hands down your back, you felt him grip your ass firmly, making you tense.

"T-Tae...?" You stammered. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." He quipped, his nose resting against your cheek. "Don't tense like that."

"Tae, I'm - hnngh." You squealed, feeling his hands grip your ass again, this time more firmly. Tae groaned beneath you, the tightening of your walls around him eliciting the sound. "I'm not -."

"Keep this up, and I'll have to punish you." You gasped, the seductive nature of his words lighting you up with excitement.

Tae leaned back onto the seat, licking his lips as his eyes ran down your form above him. His expression was stern, but his eyes were blown out in lust. His next words were low and deep.

"Or do you want me to punish you, Y/N?"

You gulped, too afraid to say anything. Yes, god yes! Please punish me, Tae! You wanted to say, but... You knew that if you tried to speak, your voice would betray you and the only thing you'd be able to reply would be incomprehensible squeaks or groans.

But you knew how to get him to do it.

So, resting your forehead against his and closing your eyes, your thighs tensed as you clamped down against him, Tae tensing beneath you as the tightening of your walls caused him to curse.

Without warning, he gripped you close to him as he flipped you onto your back, just barely grazing your head against the cup holder as he hiked your legs around his waist. Taking his hand in yours, you felt him slowly pull himself out before sharply thrusting half his length back into you, and you cried out in pleasure.

He built up his pace like that, moaning as he felt your walls tense around him, adding more length until he was fully sheathed inside with each thrust, keeping an eye on your reactions to make sure nothing he was doing was hurting you. Yet he wasn't. The pleasure you felt from this was incredible, hot waves cascading through your blood like lava. You didn't realize it in the moment, but you were a sweaty, shaking mess beneath him, a sight that had Taehyung cursing under his breath, fighting the urge to cum inside you right then and there.

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you felt him hit that spot within you, clit rubbing against his abdomen, pitch rising in your moans as you fought the wetness forming in your eyes from falling down your cheeks. You felt that familiar fire building inside you again, and Taehyung took notice.

Leaning close, he commanded, "don't cum."

You whined in protest, the fire in your veins getting hotter, but by god, it was so fucking hot seeing this side of Taehyung.

He chuckled lowly, nibbling at your earlobe as he increased his pace, making you whine and moan beneath him, squirming and failing to break out of his hold as you felt your orgasm draw closer and closer.

"Bad girls..." He continued, with a smirk on his face, his thrust now getting faster as he felt his own orgasm building. "...don't get to cum. Fuck!"

"Tae!" You cried out, the damn finally breaking in your tearducks, almost alarming Taehyung, until you begged, "Please. Please! Let me cum. Please!"

He groaned, the snapping of his hips into you now sloppy, fast, and too much to bare. Taehyung cursed into your neck, the knot in his stomach tightening as he felt himself getting closer and closer, your tight, wet cunt squeezing around him pushing him closer and closer to the edge.

"Not gonna - fuck - last long!" He groaned into your skin, his grip on your hand tightening. "Not wearing...condom." You gasped, realization dawning on you as the reality of his words sank in. "Gonna cum. Inside. You feel. So. Good!"

"Tae!" You begged, mentally thanking yourself for being on birth control. "Please. Please! Taehyung, don't stop. Harder! Fuck!"

That seemed to send him over the edge, as his pace became brutal, long thrusts slamming into your cunt over and over as he painted your walls with his cum. He held you down as your body shook under him fighting your own orgasm from erupting as he filled you.

As he came down from his high, he rose from on top of you, gaze falling to the sight where you both met, his cum now dripping from your center. It was so beautiful, it's almost like it was blinding...

Wait...

Taehyung's face fell as he looked up, meeting the eyes of a glaring, grumpy rescuer with a flashlight. Quickly, he pulled you up into his lap, shielding you from the intrusive light's glow, his face now red with embarrassment. The rescuer motioned for him to roll down the window, which he did, letting a burst of cold air into the car causing you both to hiss in annoyance.

"Are you Y/N and Kim Taehyung?" You buried your face into Taehyung's neck, too embarrassed to look the man in the eye and answer him. Taehyung nodded, his expression unreadable. "We're going to get you both out of here. Do you two need a minute to change?"

[ayakashiramblings]

Dawn and Twilight’s Social Media Accounts

Kuya

@NevermoreButSnore.

1230 followers.

Yes, I copied Edgar Allan Poe. Yes, I’m not sorry about the rhyme. Or calling him out. 

Not that he really cares.

Insists that he is a headcanon creator on Twitter 

Everyone who follows him knows that he is lying. 

If we really had to classify him as a writer, it would one who posts those way-too-accurate posts about writers complaining about writing. 

Like the notebook hoarding one. Not that anyone here in the fandom is guilty of that, haha... haha... ha.

Ironically is one of the more popular ones out of the whole group. 

His flat responses and laziness are way too prominent to NOT be noticed. 

If you actually tentatively sneak into his DMs though, for writing tips, he will patiently listen and... rather bluntly advise you. 

It’s still advice though and is always the type to check out and reblog any short fanfics.

It just has to be weird, sporadic hours because he is the type to fall asleep with the phone on his face. 

Koga Kitamikado

1230 followers.

@CapitalKayKay

Listen, there is a reason why a lot of successful businesses chose Instagram as their social media so Koga is no exception. 

What makes his account stand out, as you can see from his rather cheeky username, is that he is willing to be an open book. 

So he isn’t constantly shoving down any products he is sponsoring or whatever piece he is endorsing. 

It’s more of genuinely wanting to hang out and explore what the world has to offer. 

Whenever he posts a picture of the gang together, he’s the one tagging all of them, even the ones with hard usernames.

And there’s always a nice comment thanking whoever hosted the fun time or being appreciative of the area and the locals.

It helps that he has a sense of humour so the memes are always just the right amount of teasing but nothing too bad that will deter potential clients.

Because of his down-to-earth nature, he reels everyone in.

Uses the space to invite everyone following him on any celebration/casual outing.

The thing is... he has a lot of followers.

So... good luck.

Aoi

1150 followers.

@DeredArtTooTsun

Look, even he knows he is a Tsundere. It’s a small victory getting him to acknowledge that, let alone use it to brand himself here.

But god, he’s the man I’m most jealous of on Tumblr.

PERFECT BULLET JOURNALS AND SKETCHES.

Got the spreads that literally define ‘aesthetic’, a perfect lineup of art materials even with pencils that have their numbers faded, and somehow, the emotions can pass through the paper and screen.

Even does tutorials on perspectives, positions with cute annotations. Just don’t praise them for being adorable though and focus on improving your skills, dummy.

Ironically though, it’s his mindless vents that get the most number of notes.

It helps that the pics include him, a very cute... I mean... manly boy screaming at very, very hot men.

A bit baffled but whatever it takes to get commissions. 

That’s right, he takes them. At least there is a back-up option should the restaurant ever go out of business. 

Spoiler Alert: Still doesn’t get paid as much. People, have you seen the number of talented artists here? Aoi might be in the rankings but it’s still hard attracting business.

Support your fandom artists, everyone!

Ginnojo

1000 followers. Just nice.

Ginnojoz

Poor grandpa didn’t intend to put that extra ‘z’ letter, it was a typo because scales don’t get along with haptic touch. 

And unfortunately, doesn’t understand how to change it. 

Once, he was huge on Vine before it died. The end of an era that he has to witness again. RIP.

Gin-Gin, it is RIGHT. THERE.

Expect to find his super short self-defence videos and Book Club Readings on YouTube.

Girls actually appreciate his instructions and attempts to provide help even if they are alone. 

He did try to respond to the nice ones and actually succeeds. 

It’s always easier getting to know the language of women when you don’t really see/touch them.

A deep baritone is perfect for some sexy excerpt of a historical novel... 

Until he corrects the setting.

In fact, he sometimes rage-quits and rewrites it. 

Unlike Kuya, him doing those established ideas actually catches on. 

Yura and Gaku

1500 followers.

MelodyandTheBeat. 

... Tik-tokers. Tik-Tok people? 

WTH do you call them?

As you can see, they are the most popular since it’s combined stardom.

Look, their covers and music mixes are beautiful.

They always have their own version that somehow combines traditional Japanese music... with k-pop.

And of course, food porn. 

Just be grateful there isn’t that awful squelching sound you hear when you consume jelly or the breaking of chilli seeds. 

Listen, I usually separate them because it’s never nice to be grouped as having the same activity as your twin. 

But in this case, being both equally beautiful AND talented sells their uploads. 

Even the cringy ones made because Yura is such a Luddite. 

Like just turning his head and being amazed his hair can turn so many colours, being impressed with each tilt until he gets to a black shade. 

Suddenly hurls the phone away. Gee, wonder why? Guess black isn’t the new... black for him?

Gaku sometimes even introduces new filters he created based on Yura’s random requests that strangely get circulated on the site. 

Oji

550 followers all know Oji-Sanz

Unlike Ginnojo, he deliberately adds the ‘z’ letter to sound cool.

You wanna know what’s worse? 

He actually uses Facebook. 

Aoi decides to give up on him. Nobody blames the poor student.

It’s apparently some old form of social media? Never used it, no sirree. 

Always changing his relationship status but at the end of the day, he’s single and ready... 

To post about all the lovely ladies destined to enter his restaurant. 

He thinks it’s great publicity. 

It really isn’t but one good thing about Oji is he includes EVERYONE.

This man respects his customers and always helps advertise their wares, especially if their connections lead to more resources. 

And less grocery shopping on his part.

Does post the recipes he and Aoi created but will never use because the Milk Hall had a certain style to follow.

Officially makes Aoi his son... on Facebook at least. 

Aoi now tolerates the account. 

Barely. 

Toichiro Yuri

WhatheMeSay has 1231 followers! 

In your face @CapitalKayKay and @NevermorebutSnore!!

You know, I’m so glad that there aren’t any users with those names because I’d be so scared of accidentally tagging them.

Also, geddit? Because... What the fox say? 

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding... yeah, I’ll stop.

Pinterest Guy. And actually does spend on his ‘hobby’ to show off to everyone.

It does boost you and your father’s sales so there is nothing to complain about. 

His boards are always alliterated just to sound super catchy and it works so long as he gets the right emoji. 

Kabuki plays better be promoted or else.

Filled with candid pictures of his victims all taken at different angles you didn’t know were possible and in varying degrees of hilariously misunderstood positions.

He even supplies a donation link, heavily leveraged by his followers, since there are incentives tied to it like early access.

A bit suspicious the photos look like cropped out parts from Koga’s posts and some of the text resembles Kuya’s... er... wisdom?

He takes an unholy amount of selfies when he thinks no one is looking and so they are always surprised upon finding them on the Selfie Board. 

There is a locked board that no one can access, even his followers who are his comrades in real life. 

It’s actually just one picture in there. 

It’s you smiling and giggling at a joke of his. Not even you know it’s been taken. Guess he is as soft as his fur, eh? He better come out soon or else.

Kuro

Kuroruohtumbling

Ginnojo is unfortunately just old enough to have grown up with Scooby-Doo to understand the reference.

Snapchat, like a snapping snake! Hiss!

Unironically loves the puppy face.

Ok, but the glimpses of his stunts help show snippets of the circus life. 

He and his whole troupe family will even don costumes best suited for certain filters.

Sometimes ropes in Ginnojo... and by sometimes, I mean enough for everyone to start wondering if the stoic man is part of the act. 

To be fair, he randomly hugs people and ranks them here.

You, of course, were number 1. 

Now, if only he didn’t use the bloody song to announce it but you forgive him.

Maybe even risks revealing his ayakashi form before deleting the message to you.

Loves making international fans and learning various languages through each post, sort of like flashcards but animated and more fun!

And with 1200 followers, he might become a polyglot like Koga.

Shizuki 

Everyone bans him from creating one. 

Because they know the power of his roasts is too great. 

Little do they know he goes undercover. 

Underground.

And under their noses.

That’s right. His rant town on... MySpace. 

Unapologetically uses a good chunk of his salary from serving the House of Yuri just to get nifty themes that help with the whole burning process. 

Look, there’s a reason he and Oji are friends. 

This is why. 

Their taste in women seems fine but we really have got to do something about their affinity towards DEAD PLACES.

To be fair, he made the whole thing drunk but that doesn’t mean he should maintain it SOBER.

He just feels that it is a waste of space if he doesn’t utilize it. 

And it also becomes kind of cathartic. From the intrusive hugs to his master and Sir Gaku irking each other to no end, he needs it. 

Zero followers... but only because it’s super private. 

It becomes 1 the moment you jokingly create an account. 

[basic-cable]

Fic Rec Bingo

I saw this making the rounds on Twitter and decided I’d like to try it (mostly because I enjoy going back through my list and reminiscing about the ones I love but haven’t read in a while), but didn’t feel like Twitter was the best place to post mine. I’ve got both Dreamwidth and Pillowfort, but I haven’t really used them. This is probably the kind of thing that should go there, so maybe I’ll post it there, too. We’ll see. 

Anyway, I only read in four fandoms, so maybe my recs will be boring to most people. But they’re good stories, and maybe there are even some people out there who haven’t read them. 

I don’t expect any reblogs or anything, but maybe people will see it and decide they’d like to take part, and then there will be more fic recs out there making the world a better place.

I put them under a cut because the descriptions and stuff take up so much space.

1. A fic you love without knowing the source material Take the Pieces and Build them Skywards by quarterturn Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 44,816 ** Explicit ** Character Death Gerard's not happy with his life, but that doesn't mean he's particularly thrilled when he wakes up dead. To add insult to injury, he finds out that instead of crossing over, he's been chosen to join the ranks of the grim reapers. Things get more complicated when he falls for one of the living, a waiter named Frank Iero. And just when everything finally seems to be falling into place, Frank's name shows up on the list of souls to be reaped. Loosely based on the TV show Dead Like Me.

I don’t know anything about the TV show Dead Like Me; when I first read this fic in 2009, I had never even heard of it. I’ve wondered since then if I like it even better because I don’t know anything about the source material, but I’ll never know.It made me laugh and cry; it’s an emotional roller coaster, and I love it.

2. A fic with a premise that shouldn’t work but does

An Inexplicable Occurrence of Angels by stele3

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 35,192 ** PG-13 ** No Warnings

I've messed with the band timeline, clearly. This is set in summer of 2005... but it ain't the Summer of Like. This is a story about second chances and gutting through your own failures, but never letting them defeat you. Take that, bitches.

Frank (Frank!) is a literal angel, okay, but there is not a thing I don’t love about this story. It’s angsty but still manages to be cute and charming as fuck, and the characterization is great.

3. A fic you’ve reread several times

Seeds by thesardine

Sherlock ** Gen, supposedly ** 5,475 ** PG-13 ** No Warnings

In a fit of boredom Sherlock plants some seeds, may or may not eat one cracker, and definitely waxes dramatic on the sofa for a while.

Sherlock struggles with a bit of depression caused by boredom, and accidentally discovers a hobby he slowly learns to allow himself to enjoy. I love this a lot; the author takes us into Sherlock’s headspace, so you’re painfully aware just how much he needs a distraction, and how much better off he is with John in his life.

4. A fic you still remember many years later

In Care Of by Fangs_Fawn

Harry Potter ** Gen ** 45,319 ** PG-13 ** Child Abuse

During the summer before sixth year, Harry finds an injured bat in the garden and decides to try to heal it...and an unwilling Snape learns just what kind of a person Harry Potter really is.

Between the Dursleys getting what’s coming to them, and the redemption of Harry, Snape, and Dumbledore in each others’ eyes, this story has really stuck with me through the years.

5. A comfort fic

Nature and Nurture by earlgreytea68

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 203,273 ** Mature ** No Warnings

The British Government accidentally clones Sherlock Holmes. Which brings a baby to 221B Baker Street.

Thousands of words of fluff. Literally. There’s not a lot of conflict in this story, which makes it a great comfort fic when your mind is too busy or real life is too depressing.

6. A cathartic fic

The Quiet Man by ivyblossom

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 157,369 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

"Do you just carry on talking when I'm away?"

Post-Reichenbach John is walking the line between fantasy and reality, choosing to stay with the Sherlock in his head rather than deal with the reality where he no longer exists. He eventually manages to attempt a normal life, but he’s bored and basically sleepwalking through his days, so when Sherlock finally reveals himself, it’s the best kind of relief. They go after the last remnants of Moriarty’s web, in hopes of a second chance at the life they should have had together.

7. A fic you’d print and put on your bookshelf

Saving Sherlock Holmes by earlgreytea68

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John Mycroft/Greg ** 139,494 ** Mature ** Underage

Okay. So. This was literally supposed to be, like, three or four chapters as a prologue to the show. Sort of a "what happened in the Holmes childhoods to make them the way they are today." That's why it's set in the time period it is, because I thought I was eventually going to leave them to go on to the show. And then...I got a bit carried away and thought, Here I have established the two young Holmes boys. Now what happens if, instead of making them wait twenty years, I give them everything they need to fix themselves right now? Forty-three chapters later, you have this story.

To be honest, I would like to have most of my favorite fics in book form, with actual pages, that I could pluck from my actual shelf and sit and read without the glare of a screen between us. But I do enjoy the feel of this story, and I do believe it would make a good actual book.

8. A fic you associate with a song

Unholyverse by bexless

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 186,764 ** Explicit ** Violence & Character Death

“He thinks I have stigmata,” Frank said, because what the fucking hell, it couldn’t get any worse. He might as well just lay it out.

“Oh, well,” said Brian into his hands. “Of course.”

Every time I so much as think about this series, MCR’s Heaven Help Us starts playing in my head.

9. A fic that inspires you

Turn by Saras_Girl

Harry Potter ** Harry/Draco ** 306,708 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

Frankly, I love every single thing this author has ever churned out, but this one is my very favorite. Harry gets a glimpse into what his life could have been, and a chance to make big changes he desperately needs. 

10. A fic that brought you on board a new ship

So, So Fucked by Anonymous

Bandom ** Pete/Patrick ** 12,565 ** Mature ** No Warnings

Pete accidentally "outs" himself and Patrick on Good Morning America. Only problem? They're not gay. What now?

I was reading strictly in Harry Potter at the time, and wasn’t interested in bandom at all, but my best friend was doing betas for someone who was writing in bandom, and she ended up getting into it and then wrote this one, and kept calling me about it to bounce ideas around, and the story was so cute, and Pete and Patrick were so cute, and I suddenly found myself totally invested. Honestly I think it may have been one of the best things that ever happened to me.

11. A fic you wish could be a movie

The Anatomy of a Fall by novembersmith

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 107,525 ** Explicit ** Violence & Character Death

The unholy union of a high school AU and a ghost story. Gerard's life takes a strange turn when his family moves to a small town in Vermont and he discovers the locals aren't all what they seem to be. Also includes: unexpected nature walks, murder, pining, improper treatment of crime scenes, a number of bone-related puns, high school bullies, and a short-range shrub named Ferdinand.

This story has excellent imagery that I think would work really well on the big screen. Plus I can’t even hear the name of it without my heart doing flip-flops.

12. A fic that led to you making friends with the author

Seven ficlets for Valentine’s Day Part VII by RedOrchid

Bandom ** GSF ** 1,042 ** Mature? ** No Warnings

Panic-as-cleaning-equipment-AU Valentine's Day GSF.

I technically don’t have a fic for this bingo square, but this one comes close, I guess. The author was already in my larger circle of friends, but we didn’t actually talk to each other? She wrote this crack ficlet around the same time we started talking to each other more, and I still vividly remember it because of the genius involved in turning band boys into literal cleaning equipment. The line “Ryan bristled” has stuck with me to this day.

13. free space

Elf ‘Verse by mokuyoubi

Bandom ** GSF ** 103,247 ** Explicit ** Underage

Modern AU where Ryan is a famous poet, and he and Spencer are fiercely private and insular and stupidly co-dependent until Jon shows up and effortlessly breaks down all their walls.

Or

Wherein Brendon and Frank are Christmas elves who, inspired by Will Farrell movies, venture into the real world to become rock stars. Or something of that nature.

I’ve got a lot of love for this universe for various reasons, but it’s also fun and heartwarming and honestly, I don’t really need anything else.

14. A fic you’ve gushed about irl

Harry Potter and the Battle of Wills by Jocelyn (and her mum)

Harry Potter ** Mostly Gen ** 137,385 ** Basically PG-13 ** Character Death

Harry mourns his godfather as the war finally begins in earnest, bringing tragedy and new struggles for all those on the side of Good. If they hope to win, all quarrels must be set aside, new alliances must be forged, and Harry Potter must find the courage to face down dark wizards, his own emotions, and a destiny he did not choose. Snape blows his cover as a spy to save Harry from Voldemort.

This begins after Order of the Phoenix, and the story and characters read more like canon than any other HP fic I’ve read, so because of that and because it’s so, so good, I like to rec this one to people who are new to fandom.

15. A fic you associate with a place

Stately Homes of Wiltshire by waspabi

Harry Potter ** Harry/Draco ** 57,582 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.

Wiltshire! I’ve never actually been there, but this author is really good about details. The story is also lovely and funny.

16. A fic that made you gasp out loud

Home is a Name by Arsenic

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 39,314 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

MCR Clinic of Love. Companion fic to Wednesday Night Boys.

Okay, so this one is actually a sequel, and the first installment, Wednesday Night Boys, should 100% be read first. It must be said, though, that while the sequel doesn’t have any warnings, Wednesday Night Boys is about the Panic! kids as prostitutes, and has warnings for graphic violence, rape/non-con, and underage sex. The MCR guys work at the free clinic, and Home is a Name focuses on them. They’re honestly both gorgeous stories.

17. A fic you found at the right time

real or not real by thearkdelinquents

Anne with an E ** Anne/Gilbert ** 11,587 ** PG ** No Warnings

“I could do it.” Gilbert said, looking straight ahead.

Anne stopped. “What?”

He turned to look at her; they were just outside Green Gables now. “I could do it. I could court you.”

“What- We- You- I- You don’t like me like that.” Anne sputtered.

Gilbert smirked at her. “Well we could pretend. I could court you and be your fake boyfriend.”

For one of the few times in her life, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert was speechless.

-

a fake dating fic but it's basically just a shirbert To All The Boys I Loved Before au.

I really, really loved Anne with an E. When the final season was released, I spent a weekend binge-watching the entire show, and then it was over and I was bereft, so I decided to see what was available on Ao3, and I found this, and it was exactly what I needed. And now I have another fandom.

18. A fic that you would read fic of

Left by lifeonmars

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 45,153 ** Mature ** No Warnings

John Watson is left-handed.

He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible.

In this universe, all right-handed people have some kind of power, or ‘knack’, most of which are mild and easily categorized. Sherlock’s is rare and believed to be the only one like it in the world. John is left-handed, part of the 10% of the population without a knack. I would read all kinds of fics of this fic.

19. A fic that made you laugh out loud

What to do When Your Flatmate is Homicidal by hyacinth_sky747

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 58,650 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

Sherlock takes Molly's advice when dealing with his dangerous flatmate.

Heartwarming and hilarious. I laughed a lot.

20. A fic with a line (or two) that you’ve memorised by heart

A Necessary Requirement by Bexless

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 3,759 ** Mature ** No Warnings

Right, here is the extremely silly storylet I wrote BY HAND on holiday. On PAPER. With a PEN. My god. The things I do when I'm separated from my beloved net. It is set during the Summer of Like (Warped '05, for those of you who don't know) and is basically a product of my reaction to various pictures of Gerard groping himself on stage, which led to me obsessing about his dick and what it might look like. As usual, I chose to work this obsession out through Frank.

This fic could have gone to multiple other squares, but I am not usually the kind of person who can quote lines from things, and I have many lines from this story committed to memory. I’ve read it multiple times, because I read it every time I need a pick-me-up or a good laugh. Or if I’ve read something scary and I need something lighter before I can actually get up and move around my house...

21. A fic that gave you butterflies

Pretty Much A Sex God by adellyna

Bandom ** Spencer/Jon ** 3,985 ** PG-13 ** No Warnings

Jon and Spencer’s first date.

The Jon in this story is so soft and warm and fluffy and his character makes my heart and stomach do weird things.

22. A fic that embodies something you value in life

A Marauder’s Plan by CatsAreCool (Rachel500)

Harry Potter ** Harry/Hermione ** 865,520 ** PG13 ** Violence/Death/Underage

What if Sirius decided to stay in England and deliver on his promise to raise Harry instead of hiding somewhere sunny? Changes abound with that one decision...

ALSO

Harry’s New Home by kbinnz

Harry Potter ** Gen ** 318,389 ** PG-13 ** Abuse

One lonely little boy. One snarky, grumpy git. When the safety of one was entrusted to the other, everyone knew this was not going to turn out well... Or was it? AU, sequel to "Harry's First Detention". 

In these two stories, Sirius and Severus throw everything they have into creating the best possible world for Harry, as he is their number one priority, because that is exactly how parenthood should be. 

23. A favourite AU

Performance In a Leading Role by Mad_Lori

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 156,714 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world?

This has got quite a bit of schmoop, which isn’t usually my thing, but this story is so, so good, and I always love stories that describe Sherlock realizing and appreciating how extraordinary John is.

24. A fic you stayed up too late to finish reading

Collared by VelvetMace

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 83,028 ** Explicit ** Violence & Rape/Non-Con

In a world where the British Empire is still strong and slavery is her economic backbone, John has become a terrorist for the abolitionist movement. He is caught by Mycroft, enslaved, and given to Sherlock for training. The goal: To test a new kind of slave collar with the power to break even the strongest willed fighter. One that will make even John learn to love being a slave.

Dubious consent, and humiliation. I remember staying up very late reading this one, even though I had to work early the next morning. I just couldn’t put it down. 

25. A fic that made you feel seen

Buy Handmade by jjtaylor

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 18,755 ** Mature ** No Warnings

He knows something else is going to happen; his life isn't always going to be this. He just doesn't know what has to happen for that change to come, for him to wake up and become an artist with an Etsy page and a home studio, and to never have to see a cubicle again.

This is the story of my heart. I have felt Frankie’s feelings and thought his thoughts, and I love that he does something about it, and I love Gerard so, so much. I first read this in 2009, and my love for it has never wavered. I could have used this one for a good half of the bingo squares, but it’s the only one that could go here.

[raywritesthings]

Wrong Road to the Right Place 18/?

My Writing My Writing Fandom: Arrow Characters: Oliver Queen, Laurel Lance, John Diggle, Thea Queen, Tommy Merlyn, McKenna Hall, Quentin Lance Pairings: Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen Summary: Laurel finds herself curious about the marks Oliver showed her that night in his bedroom - and the tattoo on his left shoulder stands out in particular. When she discovers its meaning, she finds herself questioning everything she knows about the man she doesn’t want to admit she still loves. *Can also be read on my AO3 page*

“Okay, that should be everything I need you for today, Thea,” Laurel said as she logged out of the computer at her desk. They’d gotten through all the case files she’d wanted to today. Still none with Edward Rasmus involved, but she knew it had to be coming. Any day now, and she’d be on the clock as to how to proceed.

She looked up and found Thea still standing there.

“Don’t you need to wait for your ride downstairs?”

“It’s not coming. I’m going over to Roy’s.”

“Roy…? Right, purse thief,” Laurel remembered. She kept meaning to tell Oliver his sister had a new beau, but perhaps it was better that she give Thea and Roy some time first. “Okay then, have fun.”

But as she moved to go around her desk towards the door, Thea stepped in front. “Can we talk?”

“We’re talking right now,” Laurel pointed out.

Thea rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but not really. I mean, for crying out loud, Laurel, you were attacked last month, the guy that hired the hit was one of my dad’s old business partners, your mom came back to town, you moved in and then you and Ollie moved out — but it’s like everyone’s acting like nothing weird is going on.” She threw her arms out to the sides. “I mean, I think that’s plenty of weird stuff, but no one’s talking about it. Or not you’re not talking to me.”

Laurel felt a tug on her heartstrings. Thea, for all her partying and dabbling in substance abuse, was in many ways still an innocent. And she knew Oliver would give everything he had to preserve that, right along with Moira. They were mother and son, after all.

But Thea was a growing woman who wasn’t blind to the things going on around her. And if she had no one to turn to, she’d be in danger of going right back to the drugs.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I have been keeping things to myself.” She took hold of Thea’s shoulders and gave them a squeeze. “That wasn’t fair.”

“Well, I’m kind of used to it. Ever since Ollie got home…”

Laurel nodded. “Right. Well, there are some things I won’t be able to tell you still, Thea, because they’re not just about me. But let’s take this somewhere a little more private.”

She led Thea to the stairwell to the back door. No one really used it except to head out behind the building for smoke breaks, and people were a little more focused on heading home for the day. The stairwell itself was rather ugly, the paint over the concrete steps chipping in several places.

Laurel leaned against the railing and thought over what she could talk about. It wasn’t much. “Okay, so, yes, I was attacked last month. I’m pretty much recovered, and I’ve been taking some classes to stay in shape.”

“Is that what the gym bag’s for?”

She nodded. “And, let’s see, you asked about my mother, right? She came to see me because she wanted help looking for Sara.”

Thea straightened up. “Sara’s alive?”

She shook her head. “Not so far as we can tell. My mom had what she thought was a lead, but it wasn’t her. She, um, also decided to finally tell me that she knew Sara was getting on the boat with Oliver, and she let her,” Laurel admitted, her voice getting lower and softer with the leftover pain.

Thea’s mouth hung open. “Oh my god, Laurel. I’m so sorry.”

She shrugged. “It was years ago. I guess I just would have appreciated her being honest from the start.”

“Are things with you and Ollie…?”

“Yeah, they’re fine. He actually had a talk with my mother about that. He had no idea she’d known, and it didn’t exactly sit well with him. It probably looks crazy to everyone else, but your brother’s really changed, Thea. I can really count on him.”

“Is that why you guys got your own place?”

“Yes and no.” Even if she couldn’t tell Thea everything, she didn’t like the idea of leaving the girl completely in the dark as to the danger they were in. “Because of Mr. Chen’s involvement in the attack at the award ceremony, Ollie’s a little...worried about security.”

“Because Mr. Chen was mom’s friend?” Thea snorted. “Never thought I’d see him agreeing with the Hood about something.”

Laurel bit back a laugh of her own. “Had to happen at some point. But the point is, because of his experiences on the island, he wants to be sure he knows exactly what is going on in his own space and who’s allowed there. Does that make sense?”

Thea sobered, nodding along. “Yeah. Just — am I allowed to be there?”

Laurel bit her lip. Thea couldn’t come down to the base without learning everything else. “That’s something I would have to talk to him about first. I promise I will,” she added when Thea’s shoulders drooped.

“No, it’s okay. He’s probably right about the Manor not being safe if that guy could get in anyway.”

Laurel froze. “What guy?”

Thea perked up, clearly excited to be telling her story. “Okay, you have to promise not to tell Ollie, cause mom doesn’t want him to worry or something.”

She raised an eyebrow at that. More likely, Moira didn’t want Oliver interfering. “Alright.”

“So, I was at home alone with Raisa, and I was heading for the kitchen when I noticed the light was on in mom’s office. So I opened the door, and there was this guy there at her computer.”

“Did he see you?”

“Yeah, but he just ran for it. I didn’t get a look at his face. He was wearing something that kind of made it hard to make out. Only he was dressed in like a normal business suit and one of those old-fashioned hats, you know? So I couldn’t see what color his hair was either.”

Laurel’s mind raced, trying to process this newest bit of information. If someone was looking at files from Moira’s home office, what were they after? And why?

“Do you know what he was looking for?”

Thea shrugged. “Mom wouldn’t even call the police, so there’s no way she’d talk to me about it. Like I said, she doesn’t even want Ollie to know.”

Her phone buzzed in her bag, so Laurel fished it out. “Speaking of,” she muttered upon seeing Oliver’s name on the caller I.D. She accepted the call. “Hey, I’ll be out in a minute.”

“I’m not actually there, uh, because your dad’s here. At the club,” Oliver said. “He’s pretty upset about a case, and Vertigo’s involved.”

“Great,” Laurel bit out. It would’ve been too much to hope that the Count’s incarceration in a mental hospital would’ve totally stopped the drug, but she knew it was a hot-button issue with both her father and boyfriend. “I’ll be right over to run interference. Don’t talk to him.”

“I love you,” Oliver said earnestly.

Laurel smiled to herself. “Love you, too.”

She turned back to Thea as she hung up the phone.

“Your brother and my father are getting into it again, so I am gonna have to head out if that’s okay.”

“He’s not arresting Ollie, is he?”

“Not if I have anything to say about it.” She mustered up a smile for Thea. “It’ll be fine. You shouldn’t keep Roy waiting.”

“Okay,” Thea agreed reluctantly.

“How are things going with him, anyway?” Laurel asked as they went down the front steps together.

“Interesting. He makes me think about things, you know? And I feel like he’s really decided to turn his life around since the Hood saved him from that crazy Savior guy.”

Laurel nodded. “Well, I’m always here for advice.”

“Thanks, but I think my brother needs it more than me right now,” Thea remarked with a grin.

They went their separate ways and soon enough Laurel was letting herself into the Verdant. She found Oliver waiting by the bar with Digg only a few feet to the side while her father paced the open space.

“Okay, let’s wrap this up so you can open,” Laurel directed to Oliver before spinning on her heels with her arms crossed to face her dad. “What is the problem?”

“A young woman turned up dead after leaving his club the other night. She OD’d on Vertigo,” her dad answered.

“And is there any evidence she obtained the Vertigo on this premises by a patron or employee of the club?”

“No.”

“Then my client — sorry, boyfriend,” she amended as Oliver smirked at her, “has no reason to be under suspicion in this case.”

“Her last text messages were to your good buddy, Merlyn,” her father said. “Asking for the drug.”

“Tommy doesn’t work for the club anymore,” Oliver pointed out. “He told me himself that I should be ready for soliciting by patrons for things the club doesn’t provide. This woman probably got ahold of his number without realizing he was no longer the manager.”

“Yeah, well let’s not forget you were seen attempting to purchase Vertigo only a couple months ago.”

“I already explained my actions to you and Detective Hall, since you seem to have forgotten, and there were no charges,” Oliver said heatedly.

“Oliver, stop talking,” Laurel said, stepping between the two of them. “Dad, I know you feel like you’re just following the evidence, but if you want to even turn over a chair in this place to look underneath it, you will have to come back with a warrant.”

He eyed her for a moment but seemed to realize she wasn’t backing down. “Fine. Shouldn’t take too long.” He squared his shoulders and left the building.

Oliver walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle. “Have I mentioned you’re a life-saver lately?”

“Don’t thank me just yet.” She turned in his embrace. “You’re going to need to give me all of your papers for the club.”

Oliver frowned. “What for?”

“If there is anything illicit going on with this building, I have to find it before he does so I can do something about it.” She tilted her head meaningfully towards the floor. “Considering what’s in your basement storage…”

“Right. I’ll get it to you.”

“There’s one more thing,” she said, gripping onto his shirt to keep him from pulling away completely. “Thea just told me about a break-in at the Manor.”

“What?”

“Nothing on the news about that,” John mentioned.

“Moira’s not letting it get out. But Thea saw the intruder. He had some kind of way to mask his face and was looking at your mother’s files. She doesn’t know which ones specifically.”

“Just what we need,” Oliver grumbled.

“Ollie, you can’t act like you know, or Thea will be in trouble.”

“Alright. We’ll keep our focus on Vertigo for now. If we hear anything new about this intruder, then we’ll act,” he decided. She followed him into the office where he pulled up the relevant information about the club. “Is this good to start with?”

“Yeah.”

Oliver left her alone after, no doubt needing to get to work on tracking down Vertigo’s new distributor. Laurel wouldn’t be much for talking at the moment anyway, since she was hoping to get through all of these papers before her session with Ted that night. So long as there wasn’t anything too odd that stuck out for her father to use as grounds for suspicion or probable cause, they would be in the clear and could focus on more important things like finding the evidence to conclude once and for all what Malcolm Merlyn was up to in the Glades.

Then, of course, she found the bribe Tommy had paid a building inspector not to look at the basement area. Ollie doesn’t let anybody down there, was the note her friend had scribbled in the margins.

Laurel groaned and placed her face in her hands. They were both idiots.

—-

McKenna wasn’t completely sure what she was looking at here, but she knew it wasn’t good.

Whoever the mysterious guy with all the questions who’d sent her that phone was, his intel had unearthed a strange curiosity. Real estate in the Glades, just like he’d said. She’d taken a look, skeptical at first, only to find something she couldn’t explain.

Through a series of shell companies and hidden accounts, it appeared that one single entity owned almost the entirety of property within the impoverished neighborhood. The closest she had been able to come to a name was the company Sagittarius.

There were some other curiosities. A number of property purchases had been made by Robert Queen the last couple of weeks before his untimely death. Odd, considering the only property he’d owned in the Glades before — the foundry that now served as Oliver’s club — had already been shut down. Slowly, these properties had either been auctioned off or sold to the various accounts that funneled back to Sagittarius. The only thing McKenna couldn’t quite understand was, what for?

The Glades properties had largely been left to depreciate and rot. Landlords that leased the properties from Sagittarius were seemingly under no supervision and could get away with murder. Sometimes literally.

“It’s like whoever owns Sagittarius wants the neighborhood to go down in value,” she told Lance over a pot of coffee in the break room. “But that would be against their interest, wouldn’t it?”

“No way to tell if you don’t know who owns the company,” said Lance. He was only half-paying attention, his head stuck in some papers pertaining to the Verdant. “Could just be some kind of speculative investment type stuff those big wigs do.”

“The only property left in the Glades that isn’t owned by Sagittarius is the Verdant,” McKenna told him, hoping to entice him. He did look up, so she counted it moderately successful. “The Rebecca Merlyn Clinic was sold off at the start of the new year, which makes no sense because it wasn’t doing any worse than before.”

“Merlyn shut down his wife’s free clinic and we still gave him Humanitarian of the Year?” Lance shook his head.

“And look at these property buys by Robert Queen before his death. None of them had anything to do with his business. Some apartments, a grocer’s, two empty storefronts — it’s like he was grabbing whatever he could that was available.” McKenna looked up from her notes. “I think he knew something about this.”

Lance’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding.”

“He was going on a business trip when he died, right?”

He grimaced, and she felt slightly guilty for bringing up his own daughter’s death, however indirectly. “Yeah. Yeah, Laurel said, they were supposed to stop off in China for a week or so before coming back. Actually...wonder if that had anything to do with that Frank Chen.”

“The Chen that ordered the hit at the Humanitarian Award ceremony?” She jotted that down in the margins of her notes. “Well, since I can’t talk to him or Robert Queen, I’ll have to do the next best thing. How much do you think their friends or family might know?”

He shrugged. “Could be anything, could be nothing. But listen, Hall—” Lance snagged her arm before she could make to leave the break room. “Be careful about how close you get to all this stuff, alright? Especially if you’re planning to ask Merlyn any questions.”

“Why Merlyn?”

He hesitated. “A guy I know said something, that’s all.”

A guy he knew, huh?

“Alright, I’ll be careful.” McKenna returned to her desk, staring at her notes for a while. She was missing a big piece, the why of it all, and it was driving her crazy.

She glanced at the phone sitting on the corner of her desk. It hadn’t rang yet, and she hadn’t touched it beyond getting it dusted for prints that came back negative. The techs hadn’t been able to trace the purchase of it either.

With a furtive glance around the bullpen, she stood with the phone in her hand and went around to the back. This time when she dialed the pre-programmed number, it rang several times before being picked up.

“Detective Hall?” The altered voice almost sounded surprised, if she could even pick up tone from it.

“Listen, I looked into the Glades and the properties and I think I found what you wanted me to. Sagittarius. But what am I supposed to do about it?”

“Not sure yet. I’m still working on it.”

“Do you have more information? Because you need to give it to me. This is not a game.”

“I’m well aware of that, Detective. It’s why I can’t give you everything just yet. People’s lives are at stake.” There was a brief pause. “I have a number of files. Once I’ve figured out what’s safe to share, you’ll hear from me.”

“That is not how this — works,” she finished on a grumble as the line cut off. She had a feeling if she tried calling back she would be sent straight to voicemail. If the guy even had one set up.

This was ridiculous. Having to rely on vigilantes for intel wasn’t anywhere in the police academy training. If she’d wanted to deal with Deep Throat, she’d have become a journalist.

But someone — and she was betting her badge it was the Hood — had warned Lance off of tangling with Malcolm Merlyn. What did the Hood know about a shell company named for a symbol of archery?

Since she wouldn’t be likely to get in touch with him any time soon, she could start with Merlyn and his ilk. It was her best and only lead, since her contact wasn’t giving her anything better.

—-

Tommy had hit a wall. He’d have thought obtaining the files would be the tricky part, but Mrs. Queen had one more trick up her sleeve.

He couldn’t read any of them. They were all encrypted. Tommy wouldn’t even dream of being the expert on that. And he was loath to try and become self-taught.

For one thing, this information was too valuable to lose from a botched attempt at deciphering it. For another, his laptop was company-issued from Merlyn Global itself, and even someone of fairly average intelligence such as himself knew that would be as good as declaring his intentions to his father of dismantling his criminal enterprises.

He wasn’t willing to hire somebody to look over this information, and he couldn’t turn it over to the police without being cut off from learning the answers he was seeking. McKenna already seemed ready to bite his head off soon as look at him, not that she knew who to look for. He needed a way around the encryption that he could access.

If anybody had some kind of decryption programs on their computers, it would be Ollie. The Hood was always getting into this or that place or finding dirt on corrupt CEOs that was otherwise hidden from the general public. If he could get in and out without Oliver asking any questions — better yet, Oliver even knowing, all the better.

Night would be no good. Mr. Diggle or Laurel would be down there to keep in contact with Oliver while he was out there beating up and potentially killing people. Though admittedly it had been some time since he’d heard about that happening.

Middle of the day was usually when his old friend was down there training. But evening, perhaps, when they all needed to get something to eat. That would be his best bet.

Tommy left his office in Merlyn Global and went back to his apartment, putting on the suit he’d worn as his disguise to Queen Manor. He didn’t put it past Oliver to have cameras in his own base, and Tommy knew there were ones outside the Verdant.

He drove to the Glades, parking in an abandoned lot two plots down from the Verdant and out of range of its surveillance. Then, with a grimace, he pulled the pantyhose back over his face and jammed the hat on his head.

Tommy walked with his shoulders hunched and head down. It seemed most anyone in the area was already in the club, so he didn’t run into anyone going around the back of the club to the basement door. He let himself in with the keys he hadn’t quite gotten around to returning to Oliver yet and slipped down the stairs.

To his confusion, he didn’t immediately spot the computer that had sat near the middle of the floor of Oliver’s base. In fact, there didn’t seem to be much of anything down here of what he remembered. No arrows, no trunk holding the Hood suit. It looked more like an open-concept apartment.

As he passed the refrigerator that definitely hadn’t been there last time, he was caught in the stomach with a wooden stick. He staggered back as the air whooshed out of him, totally unprepared for the right hook that followed.

His attacker whirled him around and delivered a jab to the back of his knees that sent him crashing into a table. But not before he caught sight of her brown hair and green eyes.

Laurel.

He scrambled onto his feet, heart racing. She didn’t know it was him. She was going to hurt him, and he had no way to stop her.

“Wait. Wait!”

Laurel froze, the stick raised as her eyes went wide. “Tommy?”

He’d lost his hat at some point, so it was easy enough to pull off the rudimentary mask. “Oh, God, I thought I was gonna die. Oliver been teaching you some things?”

“What do you think you’re doing?” She demanded rather than reply. “I thought the base was under attack, I would have injured you.”

“Pretty sure you did injure my ribs.” He rubbed at them, wincing. “And what exactly happened to said base?”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s temporary, at least until my father arrives with his warrant to search the place. Now stop dodging, Tommy. What were you doing down here?”

“I…” Now that he was stood here, with someone in his life knowing, he found himself incredibly embarrassed.

“Thea told me about the break-in, so you may as well answer that, too, while you’re at it.”

“The files I got from Mrs. Queen’s computer,” Tommy admitted. “I needed to borrow Oliver’s tech to decrypt them.”

Laurel kept her arms crossed, but she looked less pissed when she asked, “What files?”

“I don’t know specifically what’s on them yet, but I know they’re about something called the Undertaking. And they have to do with the Glades.”

“And how did you know to look for them, Tommy? How did you decide to be a vigilante when you made it pretty clear you disapproved of what Oliver was doing?”

“That’s not what I — I’m not interested in being part of this, okay?” He said, waving an arm around to encompass what would’ve been the base on any other evening. “I just want to know what my father is up to. And Mrs. Queen, because she- she—” He couldn’t bring himself to say it. He still didn’t want to believe it.

Laurel finished for him. “She was in on the hit.”

Tommy stared at her. “You know? Oliver knows?” He didn’t know how Queen Manor could still be standing.

“Yes. And he’s not quite ready to address that with her. But that still doesn’t explain why you’ve been going around in a cheap-looking suit and...are those pantyhose?”

He shoved them into his pocket. “I made do.”

Laurel rolled her eyes. “I hope you washed them.”

“What am I, sixteen?”

The corner of her mouth quirked up, threatening a yes, but instead she said, “I don’t know why you thought you needed to sneak in here to use Oliver’s computers when you could’ve just asked him.”

“Because,” Tommy said. He looked down at the ground, knowing Laurel wasn’t going to like this. “Whatever information is on here probably isn’t gonna put his mom or my dad in a good light. And I was worried about — he could go all crazy murderer on them, Laurel. And how could any of us stop him?”

It was so quiet, he wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d simply vanished into thin air. When at last she spoke, her tone was clipped. “Ollie isn’t crazy, Tommy.”

“You know what I mean.”

“No, I really don’t. Has he done bad things? Things that go against legality, against your and my sense of morals? Yes. But for so long he has had only himself to rely on in order to survive out on that island. That changes a person.”

“But he’s not on the island, Laurel! He’s in civilization.”

“And it’s not just a switch he can turn on and off! That is not remotely how trauma works.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, breathing in and out for a few moments. “How do you live with it, though? You know it’s wrong.”

When he looked up, her expression was completely sincere. Gone was the bitter, hardened woman of the last five years. “Because the only way he’s going to move past all of that is if we can help him, Tommy. If we help him see how.”

Somehow, impossibly, because a killer had come to their city, Laurel had found her hope again.

“He’s stopped since you joined up with the two of them, hasn’t he?” Tommy didn’t wait for her answer before asking, “What happens when you being there isn’t enough to keep him from resorting to his old methods?”

“It could happen. It probably will happen. But he won’t be alone.”

His eyes widened. “Don’t tell me you’re going out there.”

“Can you really judge, Tommy? Or what should I call your masked persona?”

“It’s not a — look, as soon as this thing with my father is settled, I’m hanging it up, alright? But you’re not gonna do that.”

She shook her head. “There’s a lot more wrong with this city than just Malcolm Merlyn.”

“And a lot more wrong with the world, I’ll bet.” Once she got going, Laurel never just quit, after all. He sighed. “Well, we can at least get started on saving it from this Undertaking.” Tommy withdrew the flash drive and held it out. “Where does this get plugged in?”

“Actually, if it’s encrypted, that’s going to need to go to someone else. A friend of sorts Oliver made at his family’s company.”

Tommy looked at her flatly. “You want a Queen Consolidated employee to look over some files I stole from their CEO.”

Laurel shrugged. “Well, she hasn’t turned Oliver in yet.”

Maybe he should’ve just turned the damn thing over to McKenna. As soon as he thought that, he dismissed it. He still wanted to know what was on here, and this was his only way of making sure that happened.

Tommy placed the flash drive in Laurel’s palm. “I guess I’ll let you get back to your redecorating.”

“Oliver should be back soon. He only went to check on a lead for the Vertigo case,” Laurel told him. “I think you two should really talk.”

“No, I...I still have a lot to think about before I do that.” He hesitated before making his next request. “Actually — can you not tell Ollie this came from me? At least not yet.”

She frowned. “Why not?”

“I just want things to go back to normal once all of this is over, Laurel. If Oliver knows I’m getting involved in all this, he might think I want to be down here strategizing how to do a B&E on the next corporate mogul. That’s just not me.” He managed a grin, a little more wobbly than roguish. “I’m just Tommy Merlyn, the trust fund brat and childhood buddy. You know?”

“I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit,” she told him. “But if I can’t say this flash drive came from Tommy, what can I say?”

“I don’t know. I told McKenna I was just a guy with a lot of questions. Feel free to use that.”

He turned and started walking towards the back door. Laurel’s voice gave him pause.

“You should really invest in some self defense classes, you know. I’m not even an official vigilante, and I can already kick your ass.”

“Only if this became my night job.” And he doubted that would happen.

—-

Oliver felt sick to his stomach yet couldn’t be happier. He’d been saved by a hero tonight. A hero in a motorcycle helmet.

Not exactly the mask they’d discussed, but it was a start. He was sure the three of them could make some kind of compromise out of this, one that allowed Digg his anonymity while letting him feel comfortable and safe at the same time.

Without his timely interference, Oliver would have surely been killed by Dr. Webb and his orderly cohort. As it was, the pair of them were no more, and their supply of Vertigo would be off the streets.

Laurel rushed to his side the minute they got down to the base. “What happened?”

“They tried to force an overdose on him, but he got the antidote in time,” John explained for him, as Oliver was rather content to simply rest his forehead on Laurel’s shoulder.

“They?”

“It’s not a problem anymore,” Oliver groaned. He felt Laurel’s hand skimming his back pause for just the slightest second and winced. “I- I wasn’t trying to.”

“They saw his face after they got the drop on him,” Digg added quietly.

“Then next time we don’t send you out alone. Buddy system the whole time.”

He felt himself being moved and had to shut his eyes to keep the world from spinning violently. Then it tipped over as he was placed onto the bed in the base.

“—not sure how they spotted him.”

“Probably all the green. The new suits will be black, okay, Ollie?”

“I’m keeping my hood,” he protested. He couldn’t imagine giving up Shado and Yao Fei’s hood after everything they’d taught him.

A cool hand pressed to his forehead before combing through his hair in a very soothing gesture. “Alright. You can be the target to draw out all the criminals. But John and I want black.”

“Yes, dear,” he mumbled, already halfway to sleep.

“—there’s something...tell him tomorrow,” someone was saying, and then it was tomorrow and Oliver was blinking himself awake.

His stomach had mostly settled though his throat still felt raw from when he’d had to expel the Vertigo from his system.

The sounds of fists hitting the punching bag had him rising and pushing back the curtain Laurel had hung up around their bed. He found John taking a turn at the mat which had miraculously returned to its proper place overnight. His friend looked up.

“Morning.”

“Morning. Laurel go to work?”

John nodded. “You had a visitor last night.”

“I did?”

“Her father with the warrant. He bought that you’ve been using this space as a secret apartment, though he’s not exactly happy about his daughter living in the Glades.”

Oliver absorbed this quietly for a few minutes. It didn’t used to be considered shameful to live in this neighborhood. It had been a place to raise a family same as anywhere else. Why had that changed?

“He didn’t think it was strange I was passed out during his inspection?”

“We told him you’d had a bit too much to drink and Laurel had sent you to bed,” John admitted. Oliver grimaced. He really was going to get nowhere as far as his reputation went with Lance. But he’d known that was a lost cause ages ago.

“John, I don’t remember if I said last night, but thank you.”

His friend looked rather pleased with himself, though Oliver doubted he would admit it out loud, and then schooled his features again. “We gotta pay the IT Department at Queen Consolidated another visit.”

Oliver raised both eyebrows. “Oh?”

John left the mat and picked up a flash drive Oliver hadn’t noticed before sitting by the computer. “Laurel was given this yesterday while we were out.”

“By who?”

“Laurel said he didn’t want to be identified. But he’s the same guy who stole what’s on here from your mother.”

Oliver’s gaze zeroed in on the drive. If that was true, they could have all the answers they’d been looking for sitting right in their laps.

“It’s encrypted?”

Digg nodded.

“Give me five minutes to get ready.”

In three, they were in the car and on their way to Queen Consolidated. Oliver’s leg kept bouncing as he sat watching the scenery go by. This was it. His father’s mission. The whole reason his life and the lives of everyone he cared about had changed so drastically five years ago.

They found Felicity at her desk the same as usual, though she gave a visible start when she caught sight of them. “Oh! Sorry, it’s been a while, and after I told your girlfriend I knew I wasn’t sure if—”

“I need your help,” Oliver said, cutting right to the chase. It was rude, but time was of the essence. “Can you decrypt what’s on this flash drive?”

She looked at it. “Should be simple enough. What did you need it for? Or should I not know? Plausible deniability and all that — although if I read the files after decrypting them then I’ll probably know so that’s kind of not an option.”

“The truth is we’re not entirely sure what’s on there,” John answered. “But it’s important.”

“Okay,” Felicity said, drawing out the word. “I will get right on that.”

“Not on a company computer,” Oliver cautioned, as it looked like she was about to plug it right in. “Just trust me.”

“Right. Then I will have it for you by tonight.”

“Great. Thank you, Felicity.”

They left the office, and Oliver spent the next several hours training. He couldn’t think about much of anything, so the routine of muscle memory was all he could follow.

Somehow a part of him just didn’t feel ready. After being in the dark for so long it was startling to know the answer was within his reach.

“And this guy wants to know what’s on the drive, too?” Oliver asked Digg not for the first time. “Why? What does he stand to gain?”

John shrugged. “All Laurel told me was he said he had questions.”

“Well, this guy can keep his questions as long as he stays anonymous.” Something about it was bugging him, like he should know who this was — but one question at a time.

“Laurel told me some more about that talk she had with Thea the other day,” John said, probably in an effort to distract him while they waited. “Your sister misses you, Oliver.”

He frowned, having no real comeback. His estrangement from his mother was unfairly punishing Thea as well, he knew that. But he knew maintaining an act for his sister would be harder than before. She’d have to realize something was wrong, and a part of him didn’t want to do that to her. She’d already had so much taken away at such a young age.

Then again, depending on what was found on their mother’s files, was he only delaying the inevitable?

He was startled early in the afternoon when his phone rang, and even more startled by the caller ID.

“Felicity?” Had something happened to the flash drive? Had someone found out?

“Oliver, hi. And sorry. It was just really bothering me, so I peeked. On my tablet, at lunch across the street, so don’t worry.”

“Felicity, just tell me what you found on it.”

“Okay, it’s just — it’s a lot,” she said before drawing a shaky breath. “And I think it’s why Walter was abducted.”

—-

Taylor wasn’t sure why he was here. Usually if his parents really had to go somewhere together, they hired him a babysitter so he could stay home. But there hadn’t been a babysitter in a while.

He could tell his mom and dad were upset about something. His dad spent a lot of time at their kitchen table looking over papers with lots of lines and numbers, and his mom didn’t let him have as many treats when they went out to the stores anymore. They always told him things were going to be fine, but Taylor didn’t know whether to believe them.

Today, they got off a bus and walked up the steps of a red brick building Taylor had never seen before. There were lots of people moving around desks piled high with papers, and his mom and dad led him back to a desk where a pretty lady with brown hair sat.

“Miss Lance?” His dad asked.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“We phoned you earlier about meeting to discuss our case?” His mom had her hands on his shoulders, so Taylor couldn’t hide behind her. The lady seemed nice, though.

But there was something sad in the corners of her smile. “Against Edward Rasmus, yes.” She looked at him, then, her eyes softening. “Are you Taylor?”

He nodded shyly.

The lady got up and shook hands with both his parents and bent down to shake Taylor’s hand, too. “I’m Laurel, and I will be very happy to represent your family.”

Taylor didn’t know whether to believe her either.

[notthetoothfairy]

KLAINE ADVENT 2017: LoveSick (14/24)

Summary: Kurt has SCID and can’t leave his house. Ever. Luckily, Blaine moves in next door.

A/N: A fic?!?!?! Yes, my dears, after what feels like an eternity, I finally wrote a new thing. I was going to do just one prompt for @klaineadventbut - ha ha ha, and ho ho ho - never mind, I’m writing an entire story. And I’m late. Sorry about that!

The plot is loosely based on “Everything Everything”. Saw it on the plane, didn’t end up liking it all that much but I loooved the premise for Klaine, so here it is. :D It’s not all that realistic, sorry about that, but I tried to make it as accurate as possible!

Beta: @a-simple-rainbow (who’s surprised? not us - we’re basically fandom wives)

Read: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24

Read on: AO3 (to be added later)

NOSE

It’s the first time Blaine faces the door since October, and he’s glad he isn’t holding a bottle of wine this time around, lest he comes across as an alcoholic – that would probably not make him an attractive dating prospect for Burt’s son.

Burt and Carole are both there when he arrives, and he spots Kurt behind several glass doors, shifting from one foot to the other impatiently. Blaine waves hello and gets a small wave and a mouthed “hi” in return.

He leaves his shoes and jacket in the first room, puts on the clothes Carole hands him in a little changing room to the side, and makes his way to another room where he’s instructed by Carole to wash his hands with antibacterial soap.

Then they finally let him through the last two doors to get to Kurt. Blaine almost hits his nose on the second one because he can’t wait for it to slide open. Thankfully Burt and Carole are behind him, so Kurt’s the only one to see it, and he’s discreet enough to hide his chuckle behind his hand. Blaine’s embarrassed but the feeling is overpowered by the sudden yet familiar urge to hug the boy in front of him.

Any words he had prepared before going in die in his throat; he’s too overwhelmed to get them out. Two months of interaction with a changing number of windows between them – and now there’s only air. Kurt is right there in front of him.

“You okay, son?” Burt asks him. “You look like you’re about to throw up.”

“Dad, be nice,” Kurt warns before turning to Blaine with a soft, “Welcome, I’m glad you’re here.”

“M-me too,” Blaine gets out, still a bit choked up. He composes himself and adds, in Burt’s direction, “And if I have to throw up – which I don’t – I’ll use the extra bathroom that Kurt doesn’t have access to. I’ll excuse myself if I have to sneeze or something like that, and we’ll keep space between ourselves for minimal contact risks.”

“He read my detailed email!” Carole gushes. Blaine tries not to look to proud. “See, Burt, I told you he’s a keeper.”

“Why are you telling me, it’s not my decision,” Burt replies with a shrug. Blaine wonders if he’s imagining the almost-hidden grin. Then his face turns stern again. “Kurt, you know the rules, yeah?”

Kurt huffs. “Do you want me to recite the poem like Blaine or do you trust me without proof?” he teases.

“Ha ha ha. Don’t mock me for worrying.”

“I know the rules,” Kurt confirms, and winks at Blaine as he turns to the stairs. “Come on, I’ll show you my room.”

“Have fun!” Carole says sweetly as Blaine follows Kurt down the hall.

He can’t stop looking around. The house looks mostly empty, scarcely furnished, and exceptionally clean – of course, since Kurt has to live and survive in it. It’s a weird thought.

“Sorry about my dad,” Kurt says as they walk up the stairs. “He’s a bit of a weirdo.”

“It went a lot better than I thought it would,” Blaine admits.

“Yeah, good thing he didn’t see you walk into the last door nose first, though,” Kurt teases him as he comes to halt in front of an open door in the second-floor hallway. “You would not have lived that down.”

“Oh god.” Blaine facepalms. “That was… a bit of a weak moment.”

Kurt leans in slightly, making Blaine’s breath hitch, even though there’s still a fair amount of space between them.

“I was excited to see you, too,” he confesses in a whisper.

Blaine doesn’t even attempt to hide his smile.

“Well,” Kurt continues. “This is my room. You’ve seen it – sort of.”

“Never from this angle though,” Blaine says. “Wow. It’s huge.”

It’s true, the room is at least twice as big as Blaine’s room. The large window front makes it seem even bigger. Blaine’s bed is nothing compared to Kurt’s king sized one, and Kurt’s desk actually looks like it could belong in Miranda Priestly’s office. Blaine tells him as much and Kurt is delighted because, quote, “Comparison to Meryl Streep – continue talking and I might let you sit at it.”

Kurt gives him a tour of his walk-in closet – most of it is simple clothing as Blaine is wearing at the moment but there are a few extra things Kurt has begged his dad to buy for him, apparently, and of course also the few ones that Kurt designed on his own.

“What about this one?” Blaine asks, pointing at the asymmetrical sweater Kurt is wearing. “Did you design that one?”

“I wish!” Kurt says. “I’m not that talented – yet. I’ve only designed very simple stuff so far.”

“Well, you started, like, two months ago, right? These are very impressive already.”

Once Kurt is done showing him everything, he sits down on his bed. Blaine lingers in the open space between the door and Kurt’s desk, unsure of what to do.

“You can sit down,” Kurt says with a pointed look.

Blaine moves towards the desk but Kurt shakes his head.

“I was thinking here?” He pats the bed.

Blaine knows he looks conflicted, and he wishes he wouldn’t, or wouldn’t have to.

“It’s okay if we sit far enough apart,” Kurt says.

“Are you sure?” Blaine asks. Carole’s email didn’t include anything about sitting on Kurt’s furniture.

“Yes, I’m sure,” Kurt says, rolling his eyes. “I’ll feel awkward if you stand the whole time.”

As soon as he’s seated, they embark on different topics from the newest Vogue issue to juicy celebrity gossip, and time – as always with Kurt – flies. Blaine makes sure to leave space between them even as they move to lie down, Kurt on the left side, Blaine on the right side of the bed, facing each other.

“So, how’s McKinley?” Kurt asks. “Still the hell hole you described?”

“More or less.” Blaine shrugs. “A few of the football guys are making me their new target, I think.”

“What?” Kurt frowns. “Why?”

“Well, they know I’m gay for one. Not that it’s a secret or anything. And also… well, they kinda know about you.” Kurt raises his eyebrows, and Blaine’s quick to say, “Not that I’m, like, telling everyone about you, and it’s not you specifically they know about, they just saw my date plans in my notebook and, well, things went downhill from there.”

Kurt blinks a few times. “Uh, okay… I mean, not okay. Obviously. I don’t want you to be bullied because of me.” He grimaces, then bites his lip. “But I like the part about the date plans.”

“They haven’t really done anything. They throw me dirty looks but that’s it. I haven’t even been slushied.” Blaine smiles. “And I like the date plans, too, if I do say so myself.”

“Should I ask Finn to tell them to lay off?”

“No. That would probably make it worse.”

“Alright…” Kurt pauses. “Promise you tell me if it gets worse?”

“Of course.” Blaine nods, and holds his fingers up to do a pinky promise by himself. “I swear.”

“I wish I was there with you to tell them off. I have a few good comebacks up my sleeve.”

Blaine laughs. “I bet.” He looks up to the ceiling. “How’s doing school stuff all by yourself? Is it as peaceful as I imagine?”

“Ah, well, depends on the virtual classroom.” Kurt sighs. “Some lessons are more private, others have a ton of annoying people in them. I’ve only ever really enjoyed French and Music, to be honest. And the extra classes I take, like designing and private singing lessons.” He props himself up on his elbow. “Oh, and I took a composing class, you might have liked that.”

“Really?” Blaine asks, excited. He told Kurt before that he’s thinking of making composing his minor in college if he gets into any music schools. “Did you compose something, too?”

“Eh, just basic stuff.” Kurt waves it off. “But I did have this idea for a Broadway show… I’ve got the plot, anyway. I want it to be a musical about kids like me. If you ever make it in composing, you should help me out.” He grins at Blaine. “I’m calling it ‘Soothing Chords in Daydreams’.”

“Why that title?”

“Abbreviate it.”

“S. C. – oh! I see what you did there.” Blaine laughs. “That’s clever.”

Kurt beams. “Thanks.”

“I’ll totally write the music for you if I ever advance to that level of skills in composing,” Blaine promises.

“I’m sure you will. It wasn’t that hard, I just didn’t really have the patience for it, I guess.”

Blaine shakes his head in wonder. “You’re 17 and have a fully-fledged story for a musical, you design your own clothes and you don’t think composing is ‘that hard,’” he says, using air quotes. Only half-joking, he asks, “Is there anything you can’t do?”

“Yeah,” Kurt answers. “Go outside.”

Blaine closes his eyes. Foolish thing to say, of course. “Touché.”

He feels the bed dip a little and his eyes fly open as Kurt scooches close. Face only inches from Blaine’s, their noses almost touching, he mumbles, “Or kiss you.”

Blaine tries to lie completely still, daring every muscle in his body not to move, because if he does, he is most definitely going to lose control and kiss Kurt senseless. Kurt’s way too close already. He stares at Kurt’s lips, wondering what they’d taste like.

“Kurt,” he finally gets out. “You can’t say that.”

“Sorry,” Kurt whispers. “Words are all I have in this scenario.”

Blaine backs away a little, still scared to accidentally make a move he’ll regret. Kurt looks a bit taken aback, so he wills himself to be as open about it as Kurt.

“For the record, I want to kiss you, too.”

The frown disappears from Kurt’s face. All that’s left is a bittersweet mixture of a smile and sad, endlessly blue eyes.

“Good to know,” Kurt says. “Even if it’ll never be enough.”

[unbreakablejemmasimmons]

Dear Yuletide Writer,

Thanks for signing up for this superfun exchange! This is the fourth year I’ve participated now, and I’ve always enjoyed it-- I hope you do, too.

Below you’ll find the following:

General Likes/Kinks

General DNWs

Fandom Specifics/Prompts

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - Rebecca Bunch, Greg Serrano

Schitt’s Creek - Stevie Budd, David Rose

The Good Place - Eleanor Shellstrop, Trevor the Demon

Newsies - Katherine Plumber Pulitzer, Jack Kelly

I’ve tried to list some varied prompts for each fandom, but please don’t feel like you have to stick to what I’ve come up with! If the rest of my letter gives you another idea you’d like to write, I’d love to read it!

A little about me to start:

My AO3 name is SuburbanSun; you can also check out my Tumblr if you’d like, and my tags for each of my requested fandoms (that I’ve posted about before-- apparently that excludes Schitt’s Creek!) here: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, The Good Place, Newsies.

General Likes/Kinks:

I’m a big trope fan in general– faves include rivals/enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, bed-sharing, trapped in an enclosed space, mutual pining, secret dating/sneaking around, slow burn, FWBs that turns into something more. Subversions of tropes are also great, so don’t feel like you have to go the obvious route if you choose to write something tropey!

I have a weird (not weird because it’s uncommon, more weird because it doesn’t fit in obviously with the rest of my likes and favored tropes) love for Secret Service/bodyguard/witness protection AUs and private eye AUs.

Epistolary fic, either as part of a story or as all of it, is always fun to me, if it’s up your alley. 

I love strong female friendships, strong-but-flawed-and-realistic female characters in general. Ladies kicking ass, preferably through cleverness and wit and competence as much if not more than through brawn, is the best, and I love it when they’re allowed to make mistakes and fuck up and dig themselves into a hole, too. That said, I will literally never turn down a Vampire Slayer AU. They’re among my faves. (I loved the one I got for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend last Yuletide, but am always excited to see more of them for other fandoms!)

Smut is cool and fun and here are some kinks that I like to read: Teasing. Phone sex/sexting. Semi-public sex (not actually getting caught though). Workplace sex. Dirty talk. Light domination (aka more like just bossing each other around rather than actual D/s stuff). Oral sex. Playfulness/joking around during sex.

General DNWs:

Darkfic. Sad endings. Gore/intense violence. Miscommunication that could super easily be avoided. Babyfic/kidfic/pregnancy in general. Self-harm/abuse. Noncon/dubcon. A/B/O, mpreg, incest, bestiality, hard kink. Poly/threesomes/orgies. Members of my ships being paired romantically with other people (unless it’s just briefly, on the way to an OTP-happy ending). First person POV.

Fandom Specifics/Prompts:

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Rebecca Bunch, Greg Serrano

I love this show so much. It’s clever, it’s feminist, it’s funny, it’s real (even as it features elaborate musical sequences!), and the characters are so flawed but so great. I got a couple of great giftfics for this fandom last Yuletide that I loved, but I’m always excited to read more.

I ship Rebecca and Greg so hard, in spite of their many flaws, and am bummed that Greg’s gone, and hope they find a way to bring him back someday. I just love their chemistry– bickery battle-of-wits style relationships are a huge favorite of mine. I also really just love Rebecca as a character. She’s such a mess and makes so many mistakes but I find her really relatable.

I’m very interested to see where the show goes this season with Rebecca’s revenge plot and seeming descent into (back into?) madness, but I don’t know that Greg easily fits into that trajectory for now, so don’t feel like you need to write something that takes place in current canon. I’d be happy with a story set while Greg was still in West Covina, or a future fic, or just a total AU.

Prompts:

Rebecca/Greg + any number of tropes– stuck somewhere together; inconvenient bed-sharing; fake dating, the works.

Rebecca’s blindness toward money is intriguing to me, in a “when is this shit going to REALLY hit the fan” kind of way. What if that had come to a head somehow and she had to get a second job at Home Base? How would she and Greg have taken to working together into the wee hours of the night? (Store-room sex could be a good addition here if you’d like!)

What’s their dynamic like in a couple of years when Greg returns from Atlanta? Are they over each other or not quite so much?

Conversely, what if a couple years go by, and Rebecca feels compelled to leave West Covina? Maybe she moves back to NYC (hopefully after a few hundred hours of therapy with Dr. Akopian to give her the coping mechanisms she needs to be happy there). Maybe Greg moves to NYC for a job after graduating Emory. Have they kept in touch enough to know they’re both in the same city again, or do they run into each other randomly, an echo of her NYC run-in with Josh in the pilot, only better, because she’s older and wiser and hopefully better-adjusted?

Schitt’s Creek Stevie Budd, David Rose

This show is so funny, dry and ridiculous at the same time. I love how absurdly out of touch the Roses are, and how the show balances their outrageousness with the humdrum middle-America of the town of Schitt’s Creek.

I can’t help but ship Stevie and David, and I hope the show leans into that. If you aren’t into them romantically, though, that’s okay-- they are also fab as begrudging BFFs. I love how they challenge each other and one-up each other, always smirkingly pushing each other’s buttons.

*Note: Season 3 was only just added to Netflix US this week, so when I wrote this letter I hadn’t seen it yet. I just marathoned it (loved it obvs) and it’s pretty clear that they’re not going go lean into Stevie/David, and that’s ok! I’m really digging the Patrick thing so far too. For the purpose of Yuletide, feel free to write something that takes place earlier in the series, or goes AU, etc. 

Prompts:

David finds out Stevie’s birthday is coming up, and decides (or perhaps is convinced by Alexis) to throw her a party, as posh as the parties of his old life with the limited resources of Schitt’s Creek. Of course, everything goes wrong.

I love Stevie teaching David how to adult. What other normal things has he never experienced before that she needs to walk him through?

Schitt’s Creek throws a fall festival, complete with a parade. Stevie gets chosen to be Sweet Potato Pie Queen or something equally ridiculous, and David will never. Stop. Teasing. Her. Until the Sweet Potato Pie King (or similar) comes down with shingles and Roland insists David step in.

Somehow (perhaps through a series of dares?), Stevie winds up running for local government. 

The Good Place Eleanor Shellstrop, Trevor the Demon

There’s not much on Earth I love more than a Mike Schur show, and I’ve always loved Kristen Bell, so I was pretty destined to dig this show. It’s just so clever and interesting and fun to watch!

That said, I wasn’t really shipping anything on the show yet. I like all the characters but nothing leapt out for me romantically. But then they introduced Trevor, and the thing is, Adam Scott is my weakness. If he exists on a show, I can’t help but ship him with somebody, and I have loved his and KBell’s chemistry together in other shows (Party Down! VMars!). I’m not proud of it, but my mind immediately went there.

But things are a little more complicated now! Is Trevor just a Bad Place demon who was acting like the head of the Bad Place, or does he actually hold some kind of leadership role? Is “Trevor” even his real name?? There are so many possibilities! I’m cool with fic that assumes any of them are true.

Prompts:

Trevor has a bad day at the "office," because he's really just a Bad Place underling who enjoyed the chance to play a big-shot evil-doer in Michael’s first attempt. He somehow runs into Eleanor get sloppy drunk together.

Eleanor and Trevor have to team up for some reason-- so he can get ahead in Bad Place bureaucracy, and so she can try to defeat Michael, for instance. How does that work out?

Any sort of stuck together/trapped in an enclosed space tropefic would be great– especially if they start to have feelings for each other.

Nothing wrong with a little good oldfashioned hatesex.

Newsies Jack Kelly, Katherine Plumber Pulitzer

A friend of mine invited me to go see Newsies when they did the first Fathom Events screening early this year, and I had nearly no familiarity with it-- hadn’t even seen the movie. So naturally, I loved it and immediately fell down the Newsies rabbit hole.

I love Jack and Katherine individually and together. I love how cocky he is, and the vulnerability that cockiness masks. I love how headstrong she is, and ambitious. I would love to see fic for them that takes place after the events of the show-- what happens next? How do they begin to have a real relationship, as different as they are, now that the strike is over? Does Jack take that cartoonist job? Does he keep selling papes, too? Where do they live? What do they do on dates?

Prompts:

Even out from under her father’s thumb, Katherine’s lifestyle is certainly a bit ritzier than what Jack’s used to. How does it go the first time she has him over to her apartment?

Jack likes to leave little notes around for Katherine to find, sketches, doodles, and the like. I’m not opposed to epistolary fic here or elsewhere.

Katherine has to plot with the other newsies behind Jack’s back, for some reason (surprise party? Surprise gift?).

So, that’s that! I really hope you enjoy the whole process this Yuletide season, and thanks for participating! Happy writing!

[thejamesoldier]

Opia

Part Two to this Part One!

Hi again! So this got a fair amount of praise so hopefully I can write yall a good story xx 

Summary: The a/b/o verse where Hydra fucked with Bucky’s hormones and temporarily made him a Beta (because they take orders better) as the Winter Soldier, but now that he’s safe at Stark Tower, Tony hires Y/n to help re-orientate him back to his natural-born rank as Alpha. 

Tags: ADORABLE DRUNK BUCKY OMG I HAD SO MUCH FUN, fluffy, angst, no smut yet x

Tagged Lovlies: @softforseb, @mrtinslydia, @wine-and-space-donuts, @aislinsekhem, @damn-that-arm, @stovehairington, @xxchexchickxx, @the-one-and-only-vampcake, @38leticia, @celestialcelery, @randompolypodizia, @cassandras-musings, @buckyandsebsinbin, @kashicanhaz, @nuvoleincielo, @evilmermaidsinc, @skyrina, @creideamhgradochas

(these AMAZING covers are credited to the wonderful @fandom-obsessed-girl THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! And feel free to send in some of your own covers or fanart of the story if you’re bored and you want to haha)

Chapter 2 - Phase 1: Get James To Relax

Okay its not even been a week and Phase 1 of Project Alpha J.B.B is already a mighty fucking disaster. And not in the sense that you didn’t get him to relax, which was the goal, the problem was that he actually became way too relaxed. 

Tony, being the nosy and over protective asshole that he is, decided to throw a little party with just the Avengers and their close friends as a formal way of welcoming you to their nest aka Stark Tower. It sounded intimate, only friends and family, but after you thought about it you realized there are kind of a lot of Avengers and a few close friends and family really makes the numbers multiply. You hadn’t liked the whole party idea,

1. Because that’s not advised protocol when trying to familiarize yourself with your new client

and

2. Because you hate parties, so

But Tony won out mostly because it is his house (or er, tower) you were both staying in so you didn’t really have a choice. In all honesty you wanted Barnes and you to move out and live alone as part of Phase 4, in order to get him away from all the noise and bustle and activity of the Tower that clouded his senses that were already struggling to color reality for him. 

You knew you would have to have a PowerPoint, three ten page essays, and four formal proposals ready to present to Tony The Mom and Steve The Dad in order to get clearance for Barnes to leave and live without them. 

As the party was on Saturday, you had an entire week to get a feel for the dynamics within this ‘Super Pack’ as you chose to nick name the Avengers. Sure you could pick up on the basic Alpha Beta Omega ranks, but individuals were more complex than that. Meaning certain Alphas are higher than others, same goes for the other ranks, and it takes skill to figure out those kind of subtle scent signatures and pheromone details. By the end of the week though, you had a solid layout of the ranks and relationship dynamics of and between everyone. What? You were fucking good at what you did. Though, to their credit, this pack was a lot more complex than any other pack you’ve worked with due to all the unique talents and gifts and abilities which slightly enhanced whatever their natural born rank was. 

You knew everyone by scent instead of just name-to-face. They were in your vault now; an omega like you never forgets a scent signature once you’ve committed it to memory.  

Most of the week you spend sorting all pack stuff out, but the other half of your energy was spent familiarizing yourself with the ridiculous large Tower you were now going to have to navigate and live in. There were DNA scanners that needed your fingerprints, eye scan, voice scan, scent signature, and it was honestly overwhelming. You had access to all the common floors (and your own floor, yeah you had your own floor which was ridiculous) and whatever Barnes allowed you access to that was on his floor. Even though Barnes was surprisingly willing to allow you full unrestricted access to his floor and personal bedroom, out of respect you settled on access to his living room, green room, gym, tech room, mini gun range, and foyer but left his sleeping quarters private. 

It just didn’t seem right, and James seemed to agree. Although you found he agreed with everything and anything anyone said, he obviously wasn’t comfortable making his own decisions, even ones as simple as picking food for a meal. That would be one of the first issues you would attempt to address with him. 

Through out the week you quickly gathered that Barnes, despite being temperate and sweet, was also stiff as a board and awkward. Outwardly he was constantly uncomfortable, always unsure, jumpy, nervous, and inwardly there was a darkness to how he treated and spoke to himself that broke your heart. 

That darkness disappeared altogether though the night of the party. 

Never in your life did you imagine you would ever see James Barnes drunk. I mean it was supposed to be impossible.

It’s currently Saturday night and Stark’s party is turning out to be a success, as all Tony Stark parties end up being, and you have being working on the same glass of lovely rose wine for the past hour and a half. Parties aren’t really your scene, but since you were going to be living with these people, and Barnes was going to be there because Rogers was going to be there, you thought it best to try and fit into their lives. The Avengers are all generally nice to people outside of their pack, and even if most of them are intimidating (not that you minded that, you were intimidating too) as is there nature, you still could see yourself coexisting quite well. 

You kept lazy track of Barnes as he bounced around with Steve from small groups of people throughout the room, currently they were drinking something Thor was uncorking and boasting animatedly about. Even though you were trying to get Barnes comfortable with you around, and did not expect him to be by your side all night or even come over, it was important and instinctual for the Alpha if not to make first eye contact, then to at least demand for it to be upheld. 

A good Alpha always makes sure his bond mate knows where their Alpha is, because Alpha means safety. Or at least that’s the primal part of it. Nowadays, with the whole Omega Rights Movement, Omegas are learning that they can trust Alpha mates (if they chose to have one) but don’t have to be singularly dependent on them. 

And since you are trying to re-orientate James’ mind into remembering his rank as an Alpha, you yourself have to know how an Alpha thinks, what their impulses are, what their primal instincts are in order to act in ways to either provoke that behavior or trigger it. But right now, Bucky is almost showcasing classic textbook Omega nervous behavior. What with how he is shadowing Steve, never meets anyone’s gaze for longer than three seconds, doesn’t look like he says anything without silently checking with Steve first. 

You sigh internally and take a big gulp of your wine, mentally going through protocols and which behavioral manipulative exercises you should try first with him. He’s going to be your toughest case yet. You get so lost in thought staring at your wine and swirling it around the glass like you’re stirring the ideas in your mind, that you don’t notice Barnes approaching you. Well, you could have been made to notice with certain Alpha grade sensory techniques Barnes has at his disposal but he is far from capable of that at the moment. 

“Hey,” James doesn’t necessarily slur but definitely prolongs the ‘ey’ as he sidles up to you. 

You snap your gaze up at him with genuine impatience, only to jump in your own skin when you see Barnes’ expression. He looks…no…it can’t be. Frantically you search his eyes and simultaneously sift through his client file in your head. Didn’t he say he couldn’t ever get drunk? Supersoldier shit and all? 

Instead of responding you just deadass stare straight at him and cock your head to the side a bit, eyebrows knitting low over your puzzled gaze. The dumbest, loosest grin ever crawls and plops itself sloppily on James’ lips as his eyes slow blink at you, one eyelid sticking longer than the other. 

You wait a couple of half alarmed-half verging on comical beats of silence before speaking, 

“James are you dru–,”

“S’nice,” James slurs over the beginnings of your concerned question, tipping into your space like a human leaning tower of piza.

“What?” Comes your emotionally whiplashed response as you slowly pull back, matching him inch for inch as he encroaches on you.

And before you can say anything further James honest to God whisper yells ‘Timber!’ and almost head butts you on his way to smashing his entire face (stubbled jaw and all) into your neck, taking a loud and long breath through his nose against your skin.

“Woah hey hi hello there!” You exclaim in a strange soprano key you haven’t broken up to before as you not so gently try to shove him out of your personal space. When that doesn’t work because shit he’s fucking strong you expertly slither your way out of his clumsy grabby hands. 

“More,” James growls fiercely when you manage to detach his face from your neck, which might have been threatening but the way he’s pawing at you like a attention-starved puppy sort of takes away the reality of actual danger.  

“More?” You ask through grit teeth as you wrestle him away from you like you would wrestle a fussy toddler into clothes. But James stubbornly keeps reclaiming his space in your bubble like a magnet that’s found it’s polar opposite. 

“I want more,” He demands again, this time not in a growl but a sensual grovel that vibrates under the meaty muscle of his chest that he purposefully presses to yours.

Before you can wonder what the actual fuck Bucky is talking about and why he’s suddenly displaying textbook Alpha behavior (okay maybe drunk Alpha behavior, but Alpha behavior all the same), Sam Wilson waltzes up brandishing a half full glass of gin and tonic and his classic megawatt smile. 

“Hey Y/n! I see you and Buck-pukey have gotten off on a better foot than ‘I dareth not get any closerth’!” Sam recites in a truly poor imitation of your voice and in an equally terrible Shakespearean rendition of the words you said to Bucky at the beginning of the week when you met. 

“AHHH!” James literally roars, teeth bared like a little lion, “Get away from her you SNEAK!” He declares in a lose loud threat, shoving you behind him with an unexpected amount of force and making a weird drunk growling noise (is that a thing?) deep in his chest. 

Sam and you catch eyes over James’ metal shoulder. But instead of the expected confused look you thought Sam would share with you, Wilson looks ready to fight–

“Sam is your friend James,” You interject stiffly to cut off Sam when he opens his mouth looking like he’s about to argue back. Avidly you to keep the hysterical smile threatening to take over your expression of absolute professionalism off your face. “You don’t want to fight him.” 

“Oh yes I do, now prepare to DIE you stinking tin bird,” James threatens and before you can respond to the utter ridiculousness of that statement, Sam beats you to it albeit in a less mature way.

“Take a shot you shitty arm wrestling machine!” 

The night really took a sharp fucking turn to the left that you weren’t at all prepared for. 

As you try to contemplate what the actual fuck is going on, Barnes keeps making that weird growling sound at Sam, who is in turn responding with a committed ‘You shall not pass!’ Gandalf reenactment (which now that you think about it doesn’t really make much sense in response to Bucky’s original duel challenge, but who cares they were drunk). 

It’s time you stepped in. Are they always like this?

“Grow up you two! James, stop making that noise and Sam put that drink down before you spill all over your Armani.” 

They continue to ignore you so you sigh and calmly set your long forgotten glass down on a nearby table. You flick your hair out of your eyes and slip out from behind James who is bantering pettily with Sam, making your way over to Steve who looks suspiciously spacey too as he chuckles animatedly next to a slightly swaying Thor. 

“Mr. Rogers,” You say and peruse your lips as Steve jumps and faces you, big blue eyes wide and a bit watery. 

“Y/n, ma’am, um please call me Steve,” Rogers – Steve – requests when he seems to finally focus on you. 

Ma’am? Okay…

You raise an eyebrow at the Captain but oblige him, “Steve I think Mr. Bar– James needs to be escorted to his room to rest for the night, or he and Sam will be calling each other names all night.” 

Steve immediately spots James and Sam where you left them arguing and rolls his eyes fondly. 

“Oh they’re fine,” 

“So they always act like hangry four-year-olds who missed nap time?” 

Steve slow blinks at you, similar to the way James did, “Did you just say hungry or angry?” 

You huff with mild irritation before forcing a smile and excusing yourself.

“Urban Dictionary it!” You smart playfully over your shoulder at Steve as you walk away to take things into your own hands. 

When you approach James its like his nose pulls his face around to you like a fish on a line. His eyes land on you and freeze for a moment, you can practically see the ‘Processing Error 305′ in his pupils before he realizes that you had been gone this whole time. James gasps in this goofy worried way and chucks his arms around you and hauls you into his chest. 

“You can’ go missin’ like tha on me a’righ?” James struggles to get out and he begins petting your hair as you try to wiggle out of his arms once again. Your efforts seems to have no effect on Barnes though, seeing as he just continues petting you and holding you flush to him, glaring over your head at Sam who’s currently finishing off some flourishing insult. 

“Come on let me go James, I won’t leave but I can’t breathe.” You say, adding the little lie about not being able to breathe (even though you could breathe just fine, in fact his scent was so alluring, so calming yet stimulating beneath the coating of trauma you would be content to stay there and try to figure out the scent signatures like a rubik’s cube all night). 

As you predicted James releases you with an odd coo, holding you at arms length and going almost crossed eyed as he watches the pulse in your neck beat in healthy time with your chest rising, apparently making sure you could breathe again. Rolling your eyes, you cautiously start to coax James out of the room. You send Sam a sharp stink eye when you see he’s about to further instigate trouble with the drunk mass of muscle in your arms by re-starting the petty banter. Sam snaps his mouth closed into a pout before skulling back the rest of his drink and sauntering off.  

“Come on I’ll walk you to your room, or er floor.” You say in a tone you usually reserve for children. Apparently it was needed at the moment though as James began yielding to your hands and letting you lead him away. 

James eventually gives up on trying to escape (to insult Sam again probably) and follows you willingly out of the party and into the private hallways of the Tower. It’s a minute or two of merciful silence as you walk side by side, before James ruins your peace. 

“S’nice,” He repeats what he said before as he again begins falling into you, snuffling his way to your neck. “S’mine.” 

It honestly catches you off guard when James grabs you by the shoulders and shoves you hard against the wall, tracing a trail with his nose from the base of your collarbone, up your neck, and around to the soft patch of skin behind your ear and back down again. Your head slammed pretty hard but you recover quick enough to register the scrape of – 

Are those his teeth against my Bond Spot?!

“James you can’t you’ll hurt me no!” You yell as you put all your energy into shoving him off you.

He pulls back, albeit a little wobbly and not because you shoved him but by his own will, and stares at you with these big deep endless argent blue ocean eyes. 

“I would never harm you,” James murmurs with his eyebrows pulled low and his irises shaking around wide pupils. Genuine. Meaningful. A moment of clarity in the haze of whatever it is that he’s drunk on.

You observe him for a second before gulping discreetly and quickly fixing your hair from his impromptu re-styling session. As he stares at you there is no intention of malice or dishonor in his eyes, so you forgive his unchecked behavior and add it to the list of ridiculousness that went on tonight. 

“You better not,” You warn before sighing and waving him to follow you, “Come on I’ll see you to bed.” Your voice takes on the tone of that of a mother coaxing a toddler to their room (which is honestly not far from the current situation). 

James watches you take one, two, three strides away from him before his gaze falls to rest on his metal and flesh hands. He giggles, the sound catching in his throat, at how funny it would be if he was holding purple feathers right now. James’ sways his weight forward and stumbles blindly after you. His drunk mind grasps desperately for entertainment after a few beats of renewed silent walking, and when his eyes find the blurry image of your butt displayed nicely in your skirt an uncoordinated grin slaps itself onto his face. He trips forward,

“HEY!” You jump as your hands fly to cover your behind, “Did you just pinch my butt?” Comes your disbelieving exclamation of surprise as an after math stinging sensation rolls through the flesh of your left ass cheek. 

James giggles louder this time, the noise cracking in a squeaky discombobulated way as he jogs to round in front of you, circling you and eyeing you like an animal…like an Alpha would. Huh.

“Beautiful butt.” Is all he has to say for himself as he continues to circle you with this odd little swag you have never seen him work before, ending up behind you again. 

“Well, um, thanks? But lets keep our hands to ourselves shall we–,”

“Woo!”

“James! I said hands off Mr.!” You whirl on him again, keeping both of your hands on your ass this time, protecting those cheeks from the wrath of Drunk Alpha James: A Menace. James laughs all loopy as this time instead of pinching your butt he had oh so gently – politely – tapped it. 

When Bucky stumbles to face you he leans in so fast that your noses accidentally boop. And before you can register all that is happening he speaks. 

“Catch me,” He teases randomly before taking off at an impressive sprint down the hall while attempting, to your great horror, to take his clothes off. 

When you eventually find Barnes he’s on the gym floor of the Tower (how in the hell did he get there so fast?) splashing around happily in the huge Olympic grade indoor swimming pool.

“Y/n! Y/n, the water is wonderful come play with me!” He cheers when he sees you come in.

You can’t do much else but stand on the edge of the pool rim and watch with your mouth dropped open as James Buchanan Barnes swims buck fucking nude in the gym pool. 

“I am Poseidon, God of the Sea, and you can be my mermaid wife,” Bucky explains very matter of factly as splashes around in the shallow end before becoming positively entranced with how the light dances off his metal arm under the water and letting out a tiny ‘Oooh’. 

“Hey Y/n, have you seen Buc–CKY?!” Steve calls jogging up to your side apparently just having realized his friend was missing from the party and about to ask where he’d gone, but chokes mid ‘Bucky’ at the sight of his naked best friend in the pool. 

“Jesus H. Christ? What was in that stuff Thor gave us?” Steve says before honest to God placing a fucking hand over his heart and huffing all scandalized like a passionate republican grandma in church. 

“Stevie!” James yells in a goofy shriek once he notices Steve’s presence beside you, the biggest damn smile on his face as he flails and splooshes in the water around himself, “You can be my brother Zeus!” 

Steve is about to respond in the best way anyone could to that particular invitation, when James begins to rise out of the water near the shallow end. This effectively cuts Steve off and makes your brain short circuit. James stands up just enough that the V of his hips glimmers in the artificial light above the pool, and his twig and berries stay safely blurred under the rippling surface.

You just simply didn’t have the strength to look away from all that glory – the wet dark hair, the shining beefcake chest, the light tangoing on the edge of his jaw, that magnificent metal arm (scars and all), the soaked happy trail…

Though that didn’t stop Steve from going all Grandpa on you and covering your eyes with both of his large hands (like one wasn’t enough?), hissing a chastising ‘Bucky!’. 

What the hell was your life? 

A watery grunt pulls you out of your head and ends the moment of hysteria swiftly. James is in pain (how you knew that from just a grunt was beyond you).

“My, my head is throbbing,” James sure enough declares as his drunk stupor wares off a little and discomort starts to replace it. 

His system must be working whatever it is he took or drank out fast. 

“Now will you listen to me?” You huff as you snag a towel off a neatly folded stack sitting on a nearby lawn table. “Steve, can you make sure James’ bed is turned down and that there is a proper dosage of advil on his side table accompanied by, like, five liters of water?” 

Steve nods, mock salutes you (or at least you think – fucking hope – it was a mock salute), and takes one last worried glance at James before trotting off. Rogers smacks his toe on the door on the way out, you roll your eyes. 

Stupid fucking drunk alpha supersoldiers. How in the heck were you roped into all this again?

You wade down onto the pool steps and begin beckoning James into the harbor of your open towel-draped arms. As he gets closer you realize that if your gaze lowers from its current place at the cleft in his chin, you will see his dick. You slap yourself mentally and quickly wrap him up the second he’s close enough to hug into you.  

“Y/n I hurt,” James whimpers like he just aged back twenty years. It should sound weird and silly, but it’s honestly the purest thing you’ve ever heard. 

You sigh, “Alright it’s okay Stevie is making sure your bed is all cozy and I’m right here.” 

He nuzzles into you which you stubbornly admit is sweet, but it also makes it extraordinarily difficult to assist him and yourself safely out of the pool. You eventually get the both of you onto dry level cement, and a thought hits you. 

“James,” With your eyebrows scrunched and a drunk alpha supersoldier blocking most of your visual field, searching the ground for James’ magically missing clothes becomes a difficult task, “Where the fuck are your clothes?” 

“I ate ‘em.”

“WHAT?!” You cry in complete panic, grabbing him by the shoulders and wrenching him to face you. 

A slurred cackle leaks from the hopelessly adorable smile on his face at your alarmed and worried reaction. I mean at this point you were so off from normal drunkenness you were taking no chances. 

“Got ya,” James murmurs before his happy expression wipes back to muted pain, he exclaims a soft ‘owie’, and then literally shoves his nose right into the soft warm alcove of your neck. Again. He takes a deep slightly wheezing breath in, and exhales in one. big. wet. dog-like. HUFF. 

You roll your eyes for the millionth time tonight and battle your growing fondness/omega-related desires back into their respective cages. You ignore how right it feels for him to scent you (even as drunk as he is, and even though you didn’t give him permission), you ignore the way your body tingles for him, you ignore the safe feeling his presence alone gives you, you ignore how his voice finds a home in the marrow of your bones, you ignore how his touch stills your soul from a raging ocean to an untouched sacred pond. You just continue to dry him off and ignore. 

Eventually you make it to James’ room. Steve did his duty and left all and any needed care items out for you to easily find. James stubbornly hasn’t let you remove his nose from the spot on your neck where your scent is strongest so you eventually gave up trying to push him off and just shuffled with him here. Clothes were problem number one, and you saw Steve laid out a pair of soft looking sweatpants. 

“Okay James I’m gonna–,”

“Bucky, call me Bucky,” He mumbles, voice muffled against your neck. The warmth of his breath on your skin makes you repress a shiver.

“Okay Bucky I’m gonna need you to put your pants on for me,” 

He harrumphs crankily in retaliation, but only when you promise that he can temporarily return to your neck after, does he scramble away from you and hastily shove his legs into the sweats. You of course give him privacy and turn your back. 

The room suddenly goes very quiet. There’s no more clothing rustling against skin and metal or the sound of his breath huffing out in effort, and before you can turn around to check James – Bucky – runs his cold metal knuckles up the exposed line of your back (this is kinda what I imagine you wore to the party), following the bone road of your spine, raising goosebumps in their wake. When he reaches the top knob, he swipes his chilly fingers across the back of your bare neck. 

The shiver that ripples through your entire body could have been categorized as a seizure. 

“Woah okay,” You choke out as you whip around and take a healthy step back from James. 

“M’sorry,” James apologizes immediately, looking guilty for the first time since he came up to you this evening, strangling his metal wrist with his flesh fingers against his lower stomatch. “It’s harder to control impulses with the metal arm,” He offers sheepishly as he shrugs into himself and lowers his eyes, slipping out of the Alpha persona he adopted while more drunk. 

You notice he said ‘the metal arm’ and not ‘my metal arm’. It makes you impossibly sad for some reason. 

“It’s alright, here,” You say as the moment grows too intimate in the silence for your liking, too soon, too much. Holding the pills in one palm and the jug of water in the other hand, you offer them to Bucky with a twitchy smile. 

He takes the items cautiously, his flesh fingers shaking as they graze your palm to scoop the pills up, and his metal hand stiff as the fingers tick and whir as they grab the jug from you. 

Bucky winces after he downs the pills and the water, rubbing his right temple with his eyes shut tight, 

“Remind me never to drink anything Thor offers me again.” 

You don’t respond verbally only nod even though his eyes are closed, and quickly escape the room without a word. Bucky looks up at the soft sound of his door closing and groans as he flops on his bed. He won’t remember much of this in the morning. 

Once you are safely back on your floor and under the spray of your shower, do you let the unbelievable weirdness of the night settle on your shoulders. Your mind cards through tonight’s events with a fine tooth comb and automatically starts categorizing them, labeling them as medical and physiological notes in James’ client file in your head. When you eventually get out of the shower you type all of these down in James’ official file on your computer like an actual professional. 

When you finally get in bed, the last thing you do before falling asleep is whispering to the dark ceiling,

“What the fuck?” 

The next morning is stiff and awkward as everyone in the Tower recovers from last night. You are one of the first ones to head down to the common kitchen in search of breakfast as you hadn’t stocked your own kitchen on your floor yet. Getting off the elevator you shuffle in your usual morning lazy way down the hall, make a turn through a doorway to the seating area to see James (surprisingly) walking towards you about to leave. His head snaps up the second your scent caresses his nose.

“Y/n.” James doesn’t say your name like a question, its more like he hadn’t meant to say it out loud at all.   

Wasting no time, you pivot on your heel and start to walk away, ignoring James’ like he wasn’t even there to begin with. 

A warning growl wrenches itself nastily from James’ throat. It cause you stop and raise your eyebrows at the door you just came through. Mild amusement smears across your emotional pallet at James’ attempt to demand acknowledgment from you. He’s gonna have to do a lot more than growl at you to earn your respect. You knowingly let another silent beat go by before you dare his fragile Alpha instincts, and take yet another step away from him.  

Another noise claws its way out of Bucky’s chest, this time its more of an offended snarl than a growl.

You pause once more, but this time slowly turn back around to square the fuck up because last night was an absolute disaster. Bucky is the picture of a disgruntled Alpha (his drunkenness must have somehow cracked open that door Hydra chained up so tight): upper lip curled, teeth bared, shoulders high, fists clenched in deadly balls of bone and metal, heather grey eyes simply on fire. Once your eyes connected with his you kept it and held it firm - relentless. 

After a few moments of intense staring Bucky seems to come out of himself and his wound up expression loosens then drops completely, his eyes mirroring this change and widening out of their glaring slits. 

“I-I’m so sorry,” He stammers as confusion, frustration, then fear quickly overwhelms and devours him whole. “I don’t know where that came from – it was terribly rude,” 

As James continues to blubber and apologize you keep your gaze sharp on his eyes even as they flit insecurely around the room. You stalk towards him with all the grace and stealth of a lioness. He may be a mess, but he’s making progress. His reaction to you ignoring him was that of an Alpha. 

“I’ll never do that again, I just don’t know what I was thinking treating you like that–,” He cuts himself off when he finally braves a glance up at you and realizes you’re not two inches from him. 

By the time he registers the color of your irises you’ve grabbed him by the front of his thick stubbled throat and slammed him hard (similar to how he did to you last night) against the nearest wall, crowding unforgivingly into his personal space with a snarl. 

“You reacted the way you did because you wanted me to respect you,” You purr as you keep your hand the only source of contact between you, and hover your lips just above the cleft of his chin. He was tall goddammit. “And an Omega’s respect is earned and not so easily given, especially to a courting Alpha.” 

The wheels are spinning furiously behind Bucky’s eyes as he digests your words, they widen when you lean even closer and rise on your tip toes to line your faces up. Nose to nose. 

“You are far from being gifted such an honor by me, Alpha.” You spit out his formal rank title like curdled milk on your tongue, not feeling that he’s earned the right to be recognized – acknowledged – as an Alpha yet. 

There is a little anger in your heart at the way Bucky treated you last night, touching you like you were his when he hadn’t earned it, but you are doing all of this not out of a place of malice, no, but out of the will to force Bucky to accept the responsibility of his rank. Alpha, not Beta. You are trying to trigger his instincts but also provide him with answers as to why he feels the way he feels so he has ground to walk on instead of just floating aimlessly in unknown territory. 

This wasn’t Bucky’s fault, he wasn’t like this by his own doing. You had to remind yourself of that. But Alpha’s were severe people, all in their own ways of course, but severe. Bucky shrunk away from strength not because he was scared of it, but because he was scared of himself. Scared of what he was capable of. And by manhandling him and being rough with him, you’re showing him that you can support him. Whatever and however much strength Bucky has, you are strong enough to take it. 

The source of frustration that’s really getting to you though is the potency of his confused emotions and torn heart translates in exact measurement to his pheromones and scent; Bucky’s actually frustrating you on a molecular most basic natural level. As an omega it’s instinct to know who’s who, and Bucky is in between almost, transitioning and its making you uneasy not knowing for sure.  

Bucky looks exactly like he smells, shocked, confused, scared (not of you of course), cautiously offended, and….aroused? You smirk a little when you catch that among the chaos of his overall scent, and pull back from him only to close back in and this time tighten your fingers around his neck. Your eyes hop punishingly to and fro from his and you watch as a slow but sure wrath returns, churns and burns in the cobalt argent molten lava of his irises. 

There you are, you think as you match the growing ire and fury of the manhandled and disrespected Alpha resurfacing in Bucky’s eyes and leaking to contort his facial expression. 

You allow that energy in him to circulate generously through his system, letting him feel it in his blood and settle in his bones, before releasing his neck altogether and dragging your hands down the front of his cotton button-down in a quick sharp swipe, like a cat sharpening its claws on a scratch post. A little hiss slithers up your throat when you step back just as Bucky lurches forward at you, upper lip twitching to curl. 

Not quite there, but his body language is spot on so you give him some slack. 

You send him a quick wink to ease the tension of the moment into a more playful channel, and purposefully show him your back – letting him know you don’t see him as a threat – and swing your hips as you walk away. 

Bucky stares dumbly after you, not quite knowing what just happened but coming to the hesitant conclusion that he was okay with it, maybe even liked it. Liked the feeling of strength and power he used to so strictly associate with Hydra and evil and murder and death. As the aggression leaves him, tiredness takes its place and he sags a little as it trickles out of his system completely. He sighs internally and goes to find Steve. 

Okay so drunk Bucky was literally so fun to write. I hope you guys liked this part! Lemme know if you wanna :) xx

[samanthasroberts]

5 Movie Easter Eggs That Are Hidden In The Real World

Easter eggs aren’t just the delicious chocolate treats Jesus brought back from the afterlife. They’re also hidden tidbits of awesomeness for those patient enough to look in places like video games and DVDs (those pancake-shaped movie things we all used to love). Well, as it happens, even our crappy old planet has some fun pop culture goodies tucked away. Luckily for you, we’re here to save you the trouble of aimlessly wandering the globe, and simply tell you about how …

5

Someone Has A Friggin’ X-Wing In Their Backyard

One doesn’t typically encounter Star Wars props out in the wild, unless you count a food court as the wild and George Lucas as a prop. But thanks to social media’s ever-watchful, Sauron-like eye on our world, fans have spotted a full-sized X-Wing chilling in a random backyard, like some alternate version of The Last Jedi wherein Luke eschewed squatting in a filthy hut on an rocky island for sipping G&Ts poolside at a swank country estate.

Bing MapsHis neighbors aren’t fond of his way of retrieving milk.

Reddit users also shared photos of the iconic spacecraft, housed on private property in Oakton, Virginia. Since Star Wars enthusiasts aren’t known for their tact and reserve (see: Mark Hamill’s monthly Purell bill), some fans hiked out there to get a closer look. They at least kept a safe distance so as not to alert the homeowner’s security, which is presumably some kind of Rancor.

Unknown / r/StarWarsMost people come away muttering something about this not being the X-Wing they were looking for.

And if you’re wondering why R2-D2 hasn’t been in the Disney movies much, it’s probably because he’s apparently stuck in small-town Virginia.

Unknown / r/StarWarsHe’s gained some weight since the ’80s, and they’d have to call the fire department to pry him out.

It isn’t clear whether the ship is a fan-made replica or a priceless original prop that’s being left out in the rain, kind of the nerd equivalent of lighting a cigar with a $100 bill. But until the day garden gnomes pool their resources to take down a moon-sized battle station, it’s the coolest lawn ornament around.

4

Jason Voorhees Is Lurking In A Minnesota Lake

Movie monsters are typically found on the big screen, in the nightmares of children, and sometimes awkwardly popping by the occasional hip-hop video. So you can imagine it would be pretty unnerving to stumble across one in real life. Especially if it’s somewhere completely unexpected. Like, say, at the bottom of a lake.

Friday The 13th Part XIII: Jason Takes A Bath spoilers.

Yes, that’s everyone’s favorite hockey enthusiast turned undead murder fiend Jason Voorhees, best known for the Friday The 13th franchise. And while you might think that after seeing him in lame talk show appearances and myriad shitty sequels, Jason isn’t scary anymore, well, that’s probably because you never ran into him while scuba diving. Which is unfortunate, because some devoted fan/lunatic with access to a snorkel put a life-sized Jason statue deep in a lake in Crosby, Minnesota.

The reason, other than the fact that it’s inherently funny to give divers involuntary diarrhea? The lake in question is called “Crystal Lake,” as in the same name as the lake from Friday The 13th. And since pulling off this stunt at the original filming location would involve dragging a corpse-like dummy through a herd of impressionable Boy Scouts, going with some random Minnesota lake with the same name seems like a good strategy.

Jason has been underwater since 2013, and more recent footage shows that he’s starting to look a little waterlogged and gross, like that Sea Monkey you left to rot in your childhood bedroom. Still, he remains, complete with his machete and anchored by a chain — seemingly a reference to the end of Friday The 13th Part VI, in which he is similarly restrained at the bottom Crystal Lake, not unlike David Blaine.

Only more emotive.

Of course, in the movies, Jason is later freed from the lake, goes on several more killing sprees, and is eventually frozen and resurrected in space in Jason X. So whoever this hilarious prankster is, he’d better get some NASA credentials ASAP if he wants to keep up with canon.

3

You Can Visit A Full Recreation Of Star Trek‘s Original Set In A Mall

Who among us hasn’t dreamt of visiting the starship Enterprise from Star Trek? It has a big-screen TV, luxurious apartments, and in later iterations, you could get hammered at a bar tended by Whoopi Goldberg. Well, it turns out you can visit the original Kirk-era Enterprise. All you have to do is trek to … a strip mall in upstate New York.

Where no man has (willingly) gone before.

Located in Ticonderoga is the “Star Trek Original Series Set Tour,” which from the outside looks like an auto body shop run by sci-fi nerds. But on the inside, you step into a shockingly detailed replica of the original Enterprise set. Exciting for fans and disappointing for family road-trippers who only stopped in to use the bathroom that doesn’t exist in the 23rd century.

CBS

CBS

CBSNo one will notice if you “go” in the Tribble room, though.

The tour has everything from the Sick Bay to the Transporter Room, even Kirk’s bedroom — though for authenticity’s sake, they should really add a half-naked green-skinned woman hiding behind a houseplant as you enter.

CBS

CBSThe sheets are completely stiff for some reason.

And of course, no Enterprise would be complete without the glorified man cave that is the Bridge. Guests can even take a seat in a replica Kirk’s chair. That sucker is so convincing that you can practically smell the space STDs wafting off it.

CBS

CBSWait, no, that’s normal New York air.

This Enterprise was built by Trek super-fan (and professional Elvis impersonator) James Cawley, who personally, painstakingly recreated the iconic set himself. The results were so successful that the real Captain Kirk, William Shatner, is set to visit Ticonderoga this spring. And if you can’t make it there in time, keep in mind that this is William Shatner we’re talking about, so it’s possible he’ll decide to live there from now on.

2

There’s A Secret Harry Potter-Themed Menu At Starbucks (Sort Of)

Apart from the occasional authoritarian puppet government controlled by a shadowy cabal of evil wizards, the Harry Potter universe sounds like a fun place to live in. Sadly, you can’t transport yourself to that world of witches and wizards, no matter how many filthy subway walls you run into. The closest we’ve gotten are the theme parks, which are impressive if you can imagine that all the Hogwarts students took Polyjuice Potion to make themselves look like sweaty, tank-top-clad American tourists.

Thankfully, there is one way to get a taste of the Potter-verse in your day-to-day life, thanks to an unsuspecting giant corporation. For those who want a taste of wizard food but aren’t able to schlep out to Orlando or Hollywood, fans have put together a secret Harry Potter menu for Starbucks. Of course, this isn’t an official part of the chain’s menu, but rather a kind of “hack” concocted by people who know more about syrup than computers.

Also, diabetes. But, like, magical diabetes!

Because Starbucks employees are mandated to cater to whatever insane whims their customers demand, modifying drinks isn’t irregular. So if you look up the recipe online, you can go in and order, say, a Butterbeer Frappuccino, or a glass of Pumpkin Juice. And they totally have to make it for you. It’s like magic, if magic was powered by making customer service jobs even more frustrating.

Still, it’s a fun way to make going to a familiar chain into something magical. And unless you want to pretend that McNuggets are made of Thestral meat, it’s really your best option at this point.

1

Moe’s Tavern From The Simpsons Exists In Argentina

If porn parodies have taught us anything, it’s that The Simpsons would be a brain-melting nightmare in real life, but that hasn’t stopped some from attempting to import parts of Springfield into our world. We’ve previously talked about how Simpsons fandom in Spain led to Homer-themed donut shops and the legally-in-the-clear “Krasty Burger.” Apparently, Argentina didn’t want to be left out of the copyright-infringing fun, because Moe’s Tavern totally popped up in the suburbs of Buenos Aires.

(Martin Rodrguez y Laprida) Ituzaingo, Buenos Aires, Argentina El mejor pas del mundo pic.twitter.com/dcPASmCnnC

– Lenny (@LeonardoPuw) October 5, 2017

Originally, the idea was to take an old rundown mechanic’s shop and turn it into a bar. And if you’re building a bar from scratch anyway, why not make it a famous cartoon bar?

This version of Moe looks like he’s way more into CrossFit, though.

Even the interior was supposed to evoke Homer’s favorite watering hole. Unfortunately, it turns out that Fox is a bit of a stickler for intellectual property rights, and they put the kibosh on the project. They probably should have gone the Krasty Burger route and called it Toe’s Mavern or something. So now there’s just a Moe’s Tavern-shaped house in the ‘burbs for basically no reason.

This isn’t even the first time someone used bootleg Simpsons merch in order to get fans loaded. Counterfeit versions of Homer’s beer of choice, Duff, have been circulating in numerous South American countries for years. There was even a Duff beer festival featuring a performance from “the beautiful Duff girls”.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter, or check out the podcast Rewatchability.

Get to writing in your own fun Easter Eggs with a beginner’s guide to Celtx.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 6 Famous Movies You Can Walk Around In Right Now and 5 Famous Movie Sets That Might Be In Your Neighborhood.

Follow us on Facebook, and we’ll follow you everywhere.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/5-movie-easter-eggs-that-are-hidden-in-the-real-world/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/02/05/5-movie-easter-eggs-that-are-hidden-in-the-real-world/

[adambstingus]

5 Movie Easter Eggs That Are Hidden In The Real World

Easter eggs aren’t just the delicious chocolate treats Jesus brought back from the afterlife. They’re also hidden tidbits of awesomeness for those patient enough to look in places like video games and DVDs (those pancake-shaped movie things we all used to love). Well, as it happens, even our crappy old planet has some fun pop culture goodies tucked away. Luckily for you, we’re here to save you the trouble of aimlessly wandering the globe, and simply tell you about how …

5

Someone Has A Friggin’ X-Wing In Their Backyard

One doesn’t typically encounter Star Wars props out in the wild, unless you count a food court as the wild and George Lucas as a prop. But thanks to social media’s ever-watchful, Sauron-like eye on our world, fans have spotted a full-sized X-Wing chilling in a random backyard, like some alternate version of The Last Jedi wherein Luke eschewed squatting in a filthy hut on an rocky island for sipping G&Ts poolside at a swank country estate.

Bing MapsHis neighbors aren’t fond of his way of retrieving milk.

Reddit users also shared photos of the iconic spacecraft, housed on private property in Oakton, Virginia. Since Star Wars enthusiasts aren’t known for their tact and reserve (see: Mark Hamill’s monthly Purell bill), some fans hiked out there to get a closer look. They at least kept a safe distance so as not to alert the homeowner’s security, which is presumably some kind of Rancor.

Unknown / r/StarWarsMost people come away muttering something about this not being the X-Wing they were looking for.

And if you’re wondering why R2-D2 hasn’t been in the Disney movies much, it’s probably because he’s apparently stuck in small-town Virginia.

Unknown / r/StarWarsHe’s gained some weight since the ’80s, and they’d have to call the fire department to pry him out.

It isn’t clear whether the ship is a fan-made replica or a priceless original prop that’s being left out in the rain, kind of the nerd equivalent of lighting a cigar with a $100 bill. But until the day garden gnomes pool their resources to take down a moon-sized battle station, it’s the coolest lawn ornament around.

4

Jason Voorhees Is Lurking In A Minnesota Lake

Movie monsters are typically found on the big screen, in the nightmares of children, and sometimes awkwardly popping by the occasional hip-hop video. So you can imagine it would be pretty unnerving to stumble across one in real life. Especially if it’s somewhere completely unexpected. Like, say, at the bottom of a lake.

Friday The 13th Part XIII: Jason Takes A Bath spoilers.

Yes, that’s everyone’s favorite hockey enthusiast turned undead murder fiend Jason Voorhees, best known for the Friday The 13th franchise. And while you might think that after seeing him in lame talk show appearances and myriad shitty sequels, Jason isn’t scary anymore, well, that’s probably because you never ran into him while scuba diving. Which is unfortunate, because some devoted fan/lunatic with access to a snorkel put a life-sized Jason statue deep in a lake in Crosby, Minnesota.

The reason, other than the fact that it’s inherently funny to give divers involuntary diarrhea? The lake in question is called “Crystal Lake,” as in the same name as the lake from Friday The 13th. And since pulling off this stunt at the original filming location would involve dragging a corpse-like dummy through a herd of impressionable Boy Scouts, going with some random Minnesota lake with the same name seems like a good strategy.

Jason has been underwater since 2013, and more recent footage shows that he’s starting to look a little waterlogged and gross, like that Sea Monkey you left to rot in your childhood bedroom. Still, he remains, complete with his machete and anchored by a chain — seemingly a reference to the end of Friday The 13th Part VI, in which he is similarly restrained at the bottom Crystal Lake, not unlike David Blaine.

Only more emotive.

Of course, in the movies, Jason is later freed from the lake, goes on several more killing sprees, and is eventually frozen and resurrected in space in Jason X. So whoever this hilarious prankster is, he’d better get some NASA credentials ASAP if he wants to keep up with canon.

3

You Can Visit A Full Recreation Of Star Trek‘s Original Set In A Mall

Who among us hasn’t dreamt of visiting the starship Enterprise from Star Trek? It has a big-screen TV, luxurious apartments, and in later iterations, you could get hammered at a bar tended by Whoopi Goldberg. Well, it turns out you can visit the original Kirk-era Enterprise. All you have to do is trek to … a strip mall in upstate New York.

Where no man has (willingly) gone before.

Located in Ticonderoga is the “Star Trek Original Series Set Tour,” which from the outside looks like an auto body shop run by sci-fi nerds. But on the inside, you step into a shockingly detailed replica of the original Enterprise set. Exciting for fans and disappointing for family road-trippers who only stopped in to use the bathroom that doesn’t exist in the 23rd century.

CBS

CBS

CBSNo one will notice if you “go” in the Tribble room, though.

The tour has everything from the Sick Bay to the Transporter Room, even Kirk’s bedroom — though for authenticity’s sake, they should really add a half-naked green-skinned woman hiding behind a houseplant as you enter.

CBS

CBSThe sheets are completely stiff for some reason.

And of course, no Enterprise would be complete without the glorified man cave that is the Bridge. Guests can even take a seat in a replica Kirk’s chair. That sucker is so convincing that you can practically smell the space STDs wafting off it.

CBS

CBSWait, no, that’s normal New York air.

This Enterprise was built by Trek super-fan (and professional Elvis impersonator) James Cawley, who personally, painstakingly recreated the iconic set himself. The results were so successful that the real Captain Kirk, William Shatner, is set to visit Ticonderoga this spring. And if you can’t make it there in time, keep in mind that this is William Shatner we’re talking about, so it’s possible he’ll decide to live there from now on.

2

There’s A Secret Harry Potter-Themed Menu At Starbucks (Sort Of)

Apart from the occasional authoritarian puppet government controlled by a shadowy cabal of evil wizards, the Harry Potter universe sounds like a fun place to live in. Sadly, you can’t transport yourself to that world of witches and wizards, no matter how many filthy subway walls you run into. The closest we’ve gotten are the theme parks, which are impressive if you can imagine that all the Hogwarts students took Polyjuice Potion to make themselves look like sweaty, tank-top-clad American tourists.

Thankfully, there is one way to get a taste of the Potter-verse in your day-to-day life, thanks to an unsuspecting giant corporation. For those who want a taste of wizard food but aren’t able to schlep out to Orlando or Hollywood, fans have put together a secret Harry Potter menu for Starbucks. Of course, this isn’t an official part of the chain’s menu, but rather a kind of “hack” concocted by people who know more about syrup than computers.

Also, diabetes. But, like, magical diabetes!

Because Starbucks employees are mandated to cater to whatever insane whims their customers demand, modifying drinks isn’t irregular. So if you look up the recipe online, you can go in and order, say, a Butterbeer Frappuccino, or a glass of Pumpkin Juice. And they totally have to make it for you. It’s like magic, if magic was powered by making customer service jobs even more frustrating.

Still, it’s a fun way to make going to a familiar chain into something magical. And unless you want to pretend that McNuggets are made of Thestral meat, it’s really your best option at this point.

1

Moe’s Tavern From The Simpsons Exists In Argentina

If porn parodies have taught us anything, it’s that The Simpsons would be a brain-melting nightmare in real life, but that hasn’t stopped some from attempting to import parts of Springfield into our world. We’ve previously talked about how Simpsons fandom in Spain led to Homer-themed donut shops and the legally-in-the-clear “Krasty Burger.” Apparently, Argentina didn’t want to be left out of the copyright-infringing fun, because Moe’s Tavern totally popped up in the suburbs of Buenos Aires.

(Martin Rodrguez y Laprida) Ituzaingo, Buenos Aires, Argentina El mejor pas del mundo pic.twitter.com/dcPASmCnnC

– Lenny (@LeonardoPuw) October 5, 2017

Originally, the idea was to take an old rundown mechanic’s shop and turn it into a bar. And if you’re building a bar from scratch anyway, why not make it a famous cartoon bar?

This version of Moe looks like he’s way more into CrossFit, though.

Even the interior was supposed to evoke Homer’s favorite watering hole. Unfortunately, it turns out that Fox is a bit of a stickler for intellectual property rights, and they put the kibosh on the project. They probably should have gone the Krasty Burger route and called it Toe’s Mavern or something. So now there’s just a Moe’s Tavern-shaped house in the ‘burbs for basically no reason.

This isn’t even the first time someone used bootleg Simpsons merch in order to get fans loaded. Counterfeit versions of Homer’s beer of choice, Duff, have been circulating in numerous South American countries for years. There was even a Duff beer festival featuring a performance from “the beautiful Duff girls”.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter, or check out the podcast Rewatchability.

Get to writing in your own fun Easter Eggs with a beginner’s guide to Celtx.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 6 Famous Movies You Can Walk Around In Right Now and 5 Famous Movie Sets That Might Be In Your Neighborhood.

Follow us on Facebook, and we’ll follow you everywhere.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-movie-easter-eggs-that-are-hidden-in-the-real-world/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/182586892477