#been looking for fanfics and stuff to spark some creativity

[thegoldenshi-shi]

Been thinking about the Prowler

[aveloka-draws]

Hey Aveloka! Sorry if this question may be a bother but I was wondering since I genuinely wished to know.

Do you ever feel tired or get some kind of creative burn out after drawing so much Cult of the Lamb for a long period of time?

I’m currently putting an end to my Cotl run besides working on a fanfic for it but I genuinely can’t keep up with the demand and crave of such a niche fandom. I got most of my following from Cotl sure, but I wanna try moving onto other things I more genuinely hyperfixate on like anime, but at this point my account became more of a Cotl account, which I personally can’t keep up. In such a niche fandom and many more popular artists like you and plenty of others have been in the fandom longer then I have, it’s heard to put more diverse stuff out on my own platform without it being over shadowed by my Cotl stuff I made.

So I wanted to know what your opinion on it and what you think in a way is best, since I’d love to make art but I wanna have people also look forward to my other hyper fixations too.

I'm still very much obsessed w cult of the Lamb so I have no idea what Im gonna do when that spark dies n.n"

I'd say you should just post whatever you want, people from the fandom that like your work might stay and more people from the new hyperfixation will arrive too. Its difficult not to focus on the numbers but try to keep in mind that you should be creating art for yourself first.

Whatever you do I hope you are still happy with what you make 🐛🐛🐛

[gothicprep]

so glad that AI video is here! sort of. kind of. you ever want to see a screensaver that looks like it was designed for windows 2000, where fish are flying through the air across village streets? sora can do that with one easy prompt! you ever wanna see a woman lying in bed, roll over, and watch her arm turn into the comforter? sora can do that too! it's amazing! do you ever want to see a POV of an ant's tunnel that looks like something worse than what you'd see on bbc's planet earth? sora can do that too!

i'm sure we've all seen these videos and many more at this point. the ai evangelists swear that this is a game-changing revolution in its ability to turn simple prompts into movie quality video. assuming that movie quality means a late-stage mcu movie, or madame web, or a direct to video dreamworks knockoff from the early 2000s. really? none of those things. it's not as good as any of those things. and yeah, yeah, i know, "it's going to improve", "this is the worst it's ever gonna look", "it's gonna get more realistic". but there are some who will tell you that this is the beginning of a brave new world. a whole new era! we've got a whole movement that's going to unlock creativity that's been untapped, trapped within people who have no actual talent but, um, some ideas i guess. there's a deep reservoir of those people who society has been wasting for all these years.

let's be real here. more likely, the AI is probably going to be used to much more boring ends than new great works of art when it's not being used for more nefarious ends. on the more boring side of things, you'll have people on the internet say "what if you had batman fight the straw hat pirates from one piece? that's something an ai could do!" fanfic kind of stuff. "what if goku fought superman? who would win? i'll bet ai can show us that!" another thing it can bring to life? sex tapes that you didn't make, but you're going to be starring in! get ready for the future where someone gets mad at you online, and five seconds later, you're in a bondage orgy! have fun at the bondage orgy! that's what ai promises :)

but that's not the worst of it, believe it or not. the real problem with ai is that it's going to give bad actors the ability to create international crises by ginning up phony videos. want to spark a riot in the urban center of a country you don't like? fake a video of a cop killing a kid. it'll go viral and the gas stations will be burning before the city can prove it didn't happen.

wife & i were watching the second season of tokyo vice last night while we were waiting for true detective: night country to come on, and in the premiere episode, there's a video of a sex worker being beaten to death while a gov't minister looks on. when presented with the video, he pulls the shaggy defense and just says "it wasn't me". the denial doesn't wash because the technology at the time couldn't have faked it, but in short order, we're going to be in a future where we won't be able to prove it was or wasn't him. "oh, it was ai". welp. no one will know.

the ability to circulate low-quality, unverified information has real downsides. and if anything, the decades during which i've grown up with the internet prompts me towards a lot more wariness of ai than unbridled enthusiasm. if the best case scenario for ai is what the internet did to the information environment already, we're all fucked. the speed with which things can spread and proliferate is frankly terrifying. the prompts people are using now are dumb, and the programming is not very good, but the ai evangelists are right when they say it's going to get better. and as it gets better, it's going to be more tempting to use it in ways which absolutely are negative for society. i'm sure there are cgi artists working at major studios who will be able to use these things in good ways, but i sit here and i hear people talk about "oh, the great wave of creativity is going to be unleashed by ai!" and i'm just like. what kind of future are you living in, where the technology always works out the way you want, and everyone is happy, and there are flying cars in the sky and rainbows?

[ettawritesnstudies]

Hi!! How do you balance writing and studying ChE?

I've been out of college for about a year now but I remember it wasn't easy lol. Most of these are more general tips that apply for any college student but especially for STEM majors!

Be gentle with yourself and manage your expectations: understand that your semesters will be busy seasons where your writing time or inspiration might dry up. Breaks might give you more time to write but you might also be dealing with burnout from the previous term or working to pay for school. NaNoWriMo overlaps with major projects and midterms. Try to know your body and your mindset as the seasons shift so you aren't forcing yourself to be productive when hibernating is a healthier activity.

Count small wins: I got a lot of out of writing short stories for my mailing list. This averaged out to 10 pages across 3 months. That's a tiny word count but these stories challenged my writing craft and I think I grew a lot from the exercise. (You could submit to competitions or your school magazine if there is one, but that's unnecessary pressure, only do that if it sounds fun). Now isn't the time to grind out a whole manuscript on a deadline. Play with some worldbuilding. Make character sheets. Outline the fun parts of an epic fantasy by commandeering the whiteboards in the library. Write fanfic. Just keep the creative spark alive even if it's something as small as jotting down a few lines of dialogue while waiting for class to start.

Make creative friends: I did this by joining the DnD club but there are tons of other clubs and organizations where you can find like minded people. Try the local county library off campus, the makerspace, an arts and crafts circle, or the fencing club (full of nerds). Attend write-ins if you can find a local group that still does NaNo stuff (even if they're not affiliated with the organization)

Schedule writing time: I kept a rigorous Google color coded calendar - yellow for classes, green for clubs and campus/department activities, red for my student research and work study at the makerspace, orange for working out, and purple for friend group get togethers or dnd. At this point most of my days were full, but if there were any empty slots of time, I'd mark a blue box for myself and guard it. That was my writing time. If anyone else wanted me to show up to an event I'd decline. It might just be an hour on a Saturday morning but it was mine. I'd try to go into these blocks of time with a plan so as not to waste them, but I also spent a lot of time sending Storyteller Saturday Asks. That was fun.

Take advantage of unexpected down time: this was an odd quirk about my campus, but the chemical engineering labs were on a separate campus that could only be reached by a one way bus loop (or driving through the frat houses and you'd get a parking ticket anyways). I did undergrad research as a work study/for credit across three semesters so I spent many hours round trip waiting for and riding the bus. I often used this time to listen to audiobooks but I also drafted on my phone in Google docs or my notes app. My research also involved a lot of waiting. Setting up the experiment and then observing for hours. I could multitask on homework or my writing while I waited. This isn't a universal solution, my advisor and the post docs were incredibly nice and chill, and I know that's rare. But if you find yourself in a similar position, don't doomscroll, use the time.

Don't be afraid of sharing your writing: pick trusted friends. You don't necessarily have to look for critique, there's no shame in going "hey I worked really hard on this scene and I love it a lot do you want to read it and geek out with me?" Positive feedback is a great motivator.

Take inspiration from your studies: chemical engineering is really cool! I hope you have a better experience than I did (1.5 semesters remote during COVID, 17 credits and a full time job, oof). You'll get to learn crazy chemical reactions and math and physics that makes you feel like a wizard. If your classes get boring, check out science YouTubers like Nile Red and Explosions and Fire. Some of my favorite worldbuilding has been scribbled in the margins of my notes. Take liberties with the laws of the universe. Lean into the dark academia aesthetic. Have fun with it even if you're suffering through thermochem. I believe in you.

[toburnup]

Hey, I’m not much of a tumblr person or a fanfic person, so forgive me if this is a dumb way to reach you. But reading IYLO this week and seeing Steve getting away from his parents, learning to be himself… made me realize for the first time how much I think that’s what I need? I’ve been struggling and this was like the first breath of air in a long long time. Literally life changing stuff. Just thought you’d maybe like to know how much of an impact you’ve had on a stranger.

As a smaller life change in the meantime, I’ve been thinking it might be a good idea to get back in touch with my creativity and write some fanfiction of my own? But I don’t even know where to begin haha. Are there online communities you would recommend?

hello! not a dumb way to reach me at all. i'm really happy that the fic could spark some feelings like that. it's scary stuff! but i'm excited for you. not saying you need to uproot and leave, but i find that having some distance between you and people who've known you your whole life can be good. helps you grow.

as for writing - go for it! it's a different kind of scary but really, just start writing. it's painful at first (or it was for me anyway) and it gets easier. and then gets painful again. easier with practice!

for online communities, i guess it depends if you're looking for a writing focus, or more of a fandom focus. some writing groups aren't super open to fanfiction (it depends on the angle of the group in my experience). but there are discord groups for just about anything, and if you're looking for fandom discords, i would look through tumblr (or twitter - don't join fandom twitter, but people advertise their discord groups there and you can probably find some with open invites). i would specifically seek out fandom discords that are explicitly supportive of fanfic writers with dedicated channels.

tumblr is also solid. if you're looking for fandom or writing friends, start interacting with and following other people with similar interests and eventually, share some of your writing. it's vulnerable but it's another one of those 'good pain' type experiences 💙

good luck friend, and if you make a tumblr account, lemme know!

[pepperf]

What do you do when you’re burnt out on fanfic? Like the characters just don’t feel the same to you anymore

I assume you mean writing fic, not reading? (For reading, I find that's the point at which I drift into another fandom).

It's...difficult, tbh. I am kind of in that place with TUA, too, and while I'm looking forward to the last burst of excitement with season 4, and that might reignite my desire to write endlessly about these characters, I suspect that my most passionate love affair with this show is winding down. I still adore it! But I'm not thinking about it 24/7, coming up with new meta, new fic ideas, things I simply HAVE to write...

I've never found a solution, honestly! I've been through a number of fandoms, and there always does come a point where it winds down, for me. I respect and admire fans who are still there, 20 years later, with the same passion! But that's not how I work. And it sucks, honestly. It also sometimes means that my fandom social life shifts - I will keep some of y'all, but eventually most people will find other shows to post about, as will I, and our paths will diverge. And I feel sad, and wistful, and a little autumnal about the whole thing.

It doesn't have to mean it's the end right now, however. Some people find a new spark in the same fandom - maybe that one fic idea that's just SUCH a challenge, SO interesting, that the fic itself grabs hold of you. Sometimes I find that I need to do something totally different - write in a different style, or create art instead, or...something, shake it up, whatever that means. Other people may have other tricks.

But on the whole, what I find is that I try to accept that it will simmer down, and that I won't finish every fic idea I ever had - and I look forward to whatever new and unexpected fandom will grab me in the future (and to having some downtime in the meanwhile, lol).

Sorry, that maybe got out of hand! I'm feeling some kinda way about the show coming to an end, I guess. XD To go back to your specific ask: sometimes I do a rewatch (because often I'm so caught up in fic or fandom that I forget where it all started, what made me love it in the first place). Sometimes I let myself start a new fic, something really super indulgent, the kind of fic that I most want to read but have been telling myself, nah, that's too much, no one will want to read that (don't listen to that voice, it's a lying liar!). Sometimes I go watch or read something else, and come back with a totally weird crossover idea (I don't really recommend that one, almost no one reads those). Sometimes I let myself just think about the characters, about something that's always struck me about them but that I've never quite pinned down and that I want to explore more in some way (usually fic, for me). Sometimes I just let myself stop worrying and go do something else, and if it comes back, it comes back.

I hope that's helpful - I'm not sure it is, but hey, the one thing I'm enjoying about TUA is that, generally, it's been a positive experience, and I am hopeful that we'll go out with a good and satisfying season 4. And we still have 6 entire episodes yet to see!

EDIT: Also - because apparently I have A Lot Of Opinions tonight - I find that it never completely leaves me. I care about all the shows I ever loved like this, I watch the new stuff the actors do (sometimes), I will read the odd fic, or rewatch an episode - or the whole thing - sometimes...I'm never going to completely lose TUA, and I will take forward some of the character beats and the ideas that I picked up from it, in some form or other. I may even get suddenly inspired, five years down the line, to finish a fic. XD So it's never wasted, it's all mulch to the creative mind.

[dragongirldg]

Hellooo there how are you

anyways if you want you can use this post to infodump on whatever you want

Info dumping huh? Well then.

I have been the biggest fan of this one ship for as long as I remember. Back in high school, I developed an interest in Homestuck. I obsessed over John Egbert specifically.

As I read fanfiction and looked at fanart, no ship sparked. I didn’t really care. I would read and yeah it’s cute and blah blah blah not my OTP.

Then the worst thing could have happened.

I looked at a crack ship and then I was fxcked. The more I thought about it, the more I loved it. Karkat who? Dave who? Dirk who? Sollex and Eridan who? Literally everyone that’s a common ship WHO?

It didn’t stick with me.

Want to know what stuck?

Caliborn.

I had this idea of Calliope getting to John first and then breaking up for one reason or another.

Then Caliborn and John date or live together for other reasons.

Calliope doesn’t really come into the equation anymore or show up in my daydreams.

I don’t why, but I thought it was adorable if John just got bothered by Caliborn at every turn. They’d bother and fight and just it was cute how much they antagonized.

Then I started developing my trans Headcanon and June eventually makes her first appearance without her being June. It’s only recently (late 2022? - 2023) that I heard the name June and went from there.

I would draw and write fanfiction after fanfiction adding and subtracting details.

June stays 8ft tall and Caliborn is slightly shorter by a few feet or inches.

Caliborn gets rid of the half shaved hair look for short curly hair.

I couldn’t stop doodling John all over my school work to the point my science teacher recognized him when I gave her a little quiz. She had a bearded dragon in the classroom and I loved holding them during class :3

(Don’t ask about the things I did in highschool)

I had a ton of ideas and a lot of them were problematic tbh so I’m still curving them out of my head for far better ideas.

No matter what fandom I became a part of John/ June x Caliborn never left me. I didn’t want to really read fics anymore since no one writes my ship.

Does anyone actually do pixies and Crocker and Harley and Egbert family dynamics? Do they ever have them interacting like a big extended family?

If I had the urge, I’d write my AU ideas more. (I’m kinda stuck at the moment, work burns me out to much and too often that I don’t have motivation to get through the one? Shot I have)

I am going to attempt to redraw this political romance fancomic I drew a long time ago to update it with my newest version of John/ June. That means she will be June. If I could find the notebooks I had.

With my inability to write I’m stuck with lackluster chapters and get nothing done. I need some form of energy boost for my creativity. It’s at an all time low at the moment, being used for other fandoms.

Like this Transformers AU that got me in a chokehold.

Optimom AU (I have a whole blog on it if you want to send asks and stuff)

Optimus becomes the mother of Soundwave, Sari, and Bumblebee. The seeker teens think of Optimus as their mother and there are like 9 of them. Not to mention the others that kind of sees Optimus as a mother figure.

Basically Found Family Trope :3

It’s more complicated than that and I have several fanfics and fanart (which is now found in the Blog)

The messy Age thing with Sari, it’s because I plan of having her die at some point (trauma) and I can’t in good conscience do that to a 3-5 year old (it’s by electrocution).

Yeah it’s messed up, but the world of Transformers is equally if not more messed up and morally grey :3

At least Ariel (Black Arachnia) and Sari get to become extensions of Unicron and Primus!

Sentinel redemption and Ultra Magnus retiring to become Optimus’ father.

There’s a lot to the AU I’m not going in to in this post but yeah!!! That’s it!!!

Honestly I could go on, but then the post will never end.

[cloudcountry]

Hey auburn, i hope dont mind me sending my thoughts in an essay format i just wanted to have a conversation that matters to me, with someone i KNOW also has a lot of thoughts and shared experiences about it; i have way too many ghost readers, people keep liking my content yet refusing to reblog or engage as if theyre ashamed of reading the stuff i make its happened in the past, this dip in engagement, its happened to others as well, and its happening again this time? its a lot worse, in my opinion, partly because of the lack of activity between the audience AND between everyone, since so many of us feel burnt out it feels like im hopelessly attempting to reason with a wall

and im thinking, maybe i should make a blog for TWST spotlight where i ask people to send me essays of their favourite fics and share fanfic through submissions. maybe that could help with this issue the fanbase has been having lately. i know i complain a lot, but i also care so much for this fanbase. it may not look like it, i know some people think im intimidating -but i want everyone to get the spotlight they deserve as entertainers. because the people here can make such creative and damn welll awe inspiring content. its why i want to help everyone stay afloat in terms of support. I want everyone to recieve strong, vocal, damn-near overwhelming(but in THE good way) support. its why i started the TWST spotlight reblog thread, its why ive been more and more pushing on the things like "tell me your favourite fics! reblog your fav fics! read old fanfic! what was the first TWST fic you read?"

i don't want to have anyone to deal with a ghost audience problem, so ill have to see if i can find some new things to help improve the dip in engagement again Because, honestly? talking to wall is not that motivating. i want to find a way to spark a chain of excitement that gets things going, maybe a collab, maybe through encouraging authors to make group blogs where they actively support each other, maybe through the TWST spotlight that i already host whatever it is I want to find a way to support everyone (or, more accurately; I want to find a way for everyone to get support again, i guess)

i understand all of this perfectly ^^; i think that blog idea is a good one and i hope that people would engage with it because that also depends on engagement from readers!!

"I want everyone to receive strong, vocal, damn-near overwhelming(but in THE good way) support." YOURE SO REAL FOR THAT i swear the most EARTH SHATTERING FICS do not get enough recognition. i even see it on fics that I'M super proud of that get like 20 reblogs and i just groan to myself because ughhhh why did i even work that hard???

its greta that all of the authors here care so much for each other :(( really, i think content creators are the only reason other content creators are even still creating at this point. like my tumblr mutuals who actively create content along with me are usually the ones that reblogs my posts and i am sooo thankfulf or them :((

i know a lot fo readers are "shy" and dont want to interact because of that, so i dont necessarily think the likes the reblog thing is out of malice (though sometimes it DEFINITELY is out of disrespect.) they just really need to be more vocal. even a good job means the world.

[chevroletdean]

Good grief, what is this? This has to be ragebait, and if it is, I'm falling for it, lol. I'm sorry you had to wake up to this, Alex. Anon, you're lucky Alex is such a kind soul, her response is nicer than anything I would've come up with.

Imagine sharing something for free that you're proud of, only to have some stranger be like "Actually, there's something wrong with this. 🤓" and then on top of it, they expect you to... what? Be thankful for their uncalled for, oh so helpful insight?

Please, and I'm saying this to you, Alex, and any other writers, don't let anyone kill your vibe. To write (or generally to be creative within fandom spaces as the same applies to, say, fanart or fanedits) always means making yourself a little vulnerable. People forget that publishing something someone poured their heart into can be quite personal. Wanting others to respect that is not asking too much.

So yes, if someone complains (not critiques constructively, complains) in the comments, Alex definitely has a right to stand her ground. Or even to "ignore" said complaint, because she doesn't owe you an explanation. What do you expect, Anon? What is she supposed to learn from that comment? Should she delete and rewrite everything from scratch, crawl on all fours and ask for forgiveness?

It's a shame some people do not recognize the sheer amount of thought that goes into writing. Even if you didn't enjoy the story, or parts of it, nobody can deny the fact that time and effort went into writing 20k+ (!!!) words. Over. 20,000. Words. With 1.5 spacing, Times New Roman 12 pt. that would be over 60 juicy A4 pages. You think someone just poops that out mindlessly? Dismissing that is just straight up rude.

It's one thing to receive (useful) feedback that might help writers improve (though please know that not everyone is looking for feedback in the first place, and I don't understand what triggers someone to still voice their opinion when nobody asked for it). It's an entirely different thing to have people be straight up mean about it.

Nobody is forcing anyone to like a fanfic, or hell, even someone's writing in general. I have authors whose writing style I enjoy more than others, but I don't go out of my way and ruin their day. Sometimes a story isn't my cup of tea, but I can still acknowledge the effort behind it.

This isn't Goodreads, Anon. We're not on Amazon either. It's Tumblr. In my 13+ years on this website, I have never seen this as a page where people consume (sponsored, edited, and officially published with the intention to sell, mind you -- all resources your average fanfic writer on Tumblr simply doesn't have) content to then give it an X/5-stars rating.

This is, and always has been, the reblog site. Meant for you to find stuff you think is cool. Now, you obviously can't think everything is cool, so those other things which don't spark joy for you, you simply scroll past. Maybe block, if you absolutely hate it, and go about your day. Hope that helped, Anon!

I saw your reply to a comment and I don't understand why you get so defensive when someone criticizes your writing. Isn't that allowed? That's the problem with Tumblr these days. There are only small groups and anyone who doesn't belong isn't tolerated. I enjoyed reading your stories, but I also found several things that made no sense. It's a shame that criticism is simply ignored.

Ah, what a lovely message to wake up to! 😂

Hello, “anon.” I think I know who you are, but for the sake of this I’ll refer to you as anon.

I believe you’re referencing a comment someone made on If I Stay - Part 2, where they basically said, "This makes no sense and I couldn't bother to finish reading it anyway." What you're saying is it made no sense to you. And as you can see, I don't ignore criticism, I respectfully responded.

You're asking me to tolerate rudeness, anon. I've been writing for about nineteen years, since I was 10 years old. I've gone through a lot of growth as a writer since then, and I still am. I'm not a perfect writer, nor am I expecting everyone to love everything I write.

However, there is a world of difference between "constructive criticism" and "rude criticism."

Constructive criticism takes many forms, but it can look like this:

"There were things I liked about this story [name an example], but I'm sorry, this aspect I just didn't understand/didn't vibe with [insert example]."

^That kind of thing I can respect. It's about the delivery. I've had meaningful discourse with people who didn't vibe with things about my work. We talked it out like adults. However, the comment, "This makes no sense and I couldn't bother to finish reading it anyway" is not constructive. It's a rude, disrespectful complaint.

I spend several days, even weeks or months outlining, researching, drafting, and editing my stories before I post them here and on Ao3 (for free), as many writers do. Because we care about our work and a lot of us take writing seriously.

It takes someone just a few minutes to read something, and just a few seconds to write a negative comment like that.

The only way I know you've "enjoyed my stories" is if you comment and/or reblog a story. That particular person has only ever posted negative comments on my work; therefore, I can only assume they don't like my stories.

"Don't like, don't read" is a thing in fandom for a reason. Words have power, and at their worst, they can make or break a writer's will to write and share more stories (again, for free). It's a very personal thing to write and be creative, and it can be doubly scary for new writers to share them publicly.

So you can ignore this and continue leaving comments like that for writers if you want to, but I doubt it will earn you many friends in the fandom. At least, not from the writers you claim to like.

[hogwartsmarvelmommy]

Why not have the real thing? H.O 🔥

A/n: I saw someone say Harrison had a tumblr a few days back and it sparked this idea.. sooo :)

Word count: 2.6k words

Warnings: smut, oral (m and f receiving) protected sex, reading fanfic 🙈 swearing

Masterlist

--

"Have you read any of these?!" Harrison demanded as he burst into your bedroom.

"Any of?" You asked, not bothering to look up from your computer.

"This," he told you, shoving his phone in your face.

"Haz," you groaned, grabbing the phone from him and scanning the screen. "Why- why are you reading this?" You laughed, glancing up to the see the blush on his face.

"Was watching an interview, celebs reading fanfic about themselves. I was curious," he responded.

"Haz, this is-"

"Steamy?" He asked.

"Yeah, that's one way to put it," you laughed. You scanned Through the words on his screen, impressed with how creative some of it was. "How much of this did you read?" You asked after reading a particularly dirty part.

"The whole thing," he admitted rubbing his neck. Your eyes shot up to him as a smirk grew on your face.

"Stop reading fanfiction about yourself, Osterfield," you laughed, handing him back his phone. He laughed as he walked out of your room shutting the door behind him.

The next few hours were spent catching up on past due schoolwork. When you finally finished you looked at your phone, seeing that it was nearly two in the morning. You shut your computer and readjusted yourself in bed, but the problem was, you weren't tired. Not even slightly. So being a bit curious, you pulled out your phone, finding the sight Haz had been on and typed in his name.

You were shocked at the amount of things that pulled up, but settled on clicking one that had an 18+ warning.

It started off pretty Mello, just him and the girl hanging out, but it quickly turned into something more much.

As your eyes scanned your screen reading the dirty text, you felt a knot beginning to grow, the words of the story obviously having some kind of effect on you.

You hadn't seen much action recently, being so busy with school and work, you never really found the time for extracurricular activities, but luckily for you, you had purchased a friend to help you in this particular situation.

You leaned over fishing in the drawer of your nightstand and pulling out the little purple vibrater. It was late enough there was so no way Harrison would still be awake, and the buzzing that the toy provided was fairly quiet. So shimmying out of your clothes you grabbed your phone in one hand and angled the toy onto your heat with the other.

Clicking it on, you started with just rubbing it lightly along your slit, focusing on your clit as you continued to read the story.

You let the vibration from the toy loosen you up before pushing it slowly in, eliciting a slight moan from your mouth, the story was getting even more heated now.

"Hey y/n you up?" Harrison asked, busting through the door. You jumped, dropping your phone and quickly shutting the vibrator off.

"Fucking Christ Harrison, do you ever knock?" You demanded, holding your blanket tightly against your naked body.

"Sorry, though I heard you say my name," he told you.

You froze, had you moaned out his name? Your face reddened as you saw Harrisons scanning your room, glancing at the pile of clothes on the floor and then to your phone, who's screen was still lit. He bent down, picking it up, and scanning the screen. You watched as the smirk grew across his face.

"He ran his fingers up her thighs, pushing them farther apart as he whispered sweet nothings in her ear. 'you ready for me, my little slut' he asked in a husky voice before shoving two fingers into her aching pussy, making her squeel in pleasure, she always did have a thing about his hands, and him fucking her with them was a dream" he read out loud.

You stared at him with your mouth wide open, as he continued to scan the screen, scrolling down farther. "'Get on all fours for me princess so daddy can have his way with you,' Ok, first of all I would never refer to myself as daddy," he laughed. You chuckled. "Whatcha been up to here?" He asked, clicking your phone screen off, and focusing all his attention on you.

"Nothing," you squeaked, a clear admission of guilt .

"Nothing, huh?" He took a step towards your bed before bending down and grabbed your lacy panties from the floor, and held them up to you. "Sure about that?" He asked, a cheeky grin on his face.

You snatched them from his hand. "Go away Haz," you groaned.

"You know," he began as he sat down on the edge of the bed, "you don't have to read this stuff, you could just have the real thing," your jaw dropped at the words that had left his mouth. Had he really just said that to you. Was he suggesting you and him? He put his hand on your leg that was covered by the blanket. "If I'm being honest with you, I was just doing the same thing, so you'd be doing me a favor too," he admitted.

"Haz," you whispered, not sure about what he was suggesting.

"Come on, in those stories when they catch each other masterbating, they just join each other, makes it more fun," he winked, making you chuckle.

"Wouldn't it be weird?" You asked, feeling shy.

"You don't want to be daddy's little slut'?" He asked, making you burst into laughter. You threw your head back into your pillow and buried your face in your hands as you laughed at how cringe your roommate could be. You moved your hands to see Harrisons face above yours. "What do you say y/n? Want to be daddy's little slut' for the night?" He asked.

"Not if you keep saying that," you giggled. His eyebrows raised.

"Was that a yes? You have to actually say yes darling," he told you, going completely serious.

"Yes," you whispered.

"Thank fucking god," he mumbled before crashing his lips into yours. The thing about Haz was that you had liked him for years, but you would never admit that to him. You reached up grabbing onto his blond hair and pulling him more into you, deepening the kiss. He moved himself so that he was hovering above you now. "You naked under that blanket?" He asked between kisses.

"Mmm," you hummed in response.

"Should I be naked to?" He wondered.

"Haz," you laughed sitting up, "you always talk this much?"

"I'm nervous, I don't want to disappoint you," he admitted.

You pushed him back slightly so he was back in a sitting position and moved, letting the blanket fall, exposing your body. You heard him take a deep breath in. As his hands reached out grabbing your hips.

"You like what you see?" You asked. A sudden shyness washing over you.

"Darling, your fucking perfect," he whispered, pulling you towards him. You let him pull you on his lap so you were straddling him as he ran his hands from your ass to your chest, caressing your breasts. "I've been missing out," he mumbled as he leaned forward, taking one of your hardened buds between his lips. You gasped at the sensation, grabbing at his hair and pulling it gently, making him moan out.

"You like that?" You asked, tugging it again, making another moan leave his mouth. You could feel him growing beneath you, and knowing you were making him feel some type of way was turning you on even more.

"Lay down, gotta- to much clothes" he mumbled into your chest. You slid back laying back down onto the pillows and watched as he got up pulling his shirt over his head with one hand. He tossed it towards you and winked.

"Oh my god Osterfield," you groaned, throwing it back at him. He chuckled as he tried to pull the sweats down his legs, but ended up getting caught and falling to the floor. "Whatcha doing down there bub?" You asked as you leaned over looking at him laying on the floor in defeat.

"Bout to be doing you," he said as he reached out, grabbing you and pulling you down.

"Harrison," you giggled as you fell to the floor, he rolled you onto your back on the plush rug.

"You're beautiful you know," he whispered, leaning down and kissing your neck gently, before peppering kisses down the entirety of your chest and then moving to your thighs. "Can I?" He asked as he practically laid between your legs.

"Please," you begged. He dipped his head down, flattening his tongue and licking a stripe from your entrance to your clit, teasing at your nub with the tip of his tongue.

"So fucking sweet," he moaned, the vibration making you arch your back as he continued his feat. He worked you with his tongue, for a bit, and then you felt his fingers run up our thigh and begin to tease at your entrance. One thing most of those stories had had in common were the appeal of his hands, and dear God were they right. He slowly pushed a finger in, finding your g-spot instantly.

"Dear fucking god," you moaned as your back arched from the ground.

"Found it," he chuckled, continuing like he was on a mission. You felt yourself beginning to lose it.

"Haz," you moaned out as your fingers found his hair pulling gently, making him moan into your core, which is what pushed you over the edge. He continued his work until your legs quit shaking. pushing himself up and over you he brought his lips to yours.

"Well?" He asked.

"Why have we never done that before?" You asked, still dazed from your orgasm.

"We can make up for lost time darling, don't you worry," he whispered as he pressed kisses beneath your ear. "You got a-"

"Top drawer," you instructed, pointing to the nightstand.

He pushed himself up onto his knees and leaned over to rummage around your drawer looking for a little foil packet.

You reached out grabbing his hard length in your small hand. He let out a groan and shot you a cheeky grin. "Want me to stop?" You asked him.

"Fuck no I don't," he told you. You shimmied your way so you were right in front of him, and began to press kisses to his shaft, before moving to the tip and taking it in your mouth, swirling your tongue around him. "Fuck," he groaned, grabbing your hair. You began to Bob your head up and down, taking what you could of his length into your mouth, and what you couldn't, you used your hand to pump.

You felt the knot growing in your core again as you had Harrison moaning and groaning. "Want to be inside you," he told you. You let go of his length and looked up at him through your lashes, and grinned.

"Whatever daddy wants," you teased. Making him laugh.

"Oh my god, nooo!" He groaned. He brought the packet to his mouth, ripping it and then rolling it over himself, taking himself in his hand as you laid back onto the floor. He positioned himself above you, as he ran his leng along the entirety of your slit, toying with your nub, making you moan. He moved back down pushing in slowly until he bottomed out.

"You're so tight," he groaned, throwing his head back before he started to move slowly. He leaned up, grabbing one of your legs and throwing it on his shoulder, before beginning to thrust faster. The angle provided from this position had him hitting deep inside of you, brushing your g-spot with ease.

"Fuck haz, not gonna last," you moaned out. He brought his hand in between your body's finding your nub with his thumb and rubbing it vigorously.

"Come on darling, give me another," he cooed as he pounded into you. You brought your hand over your mouth to keep from being too loud, but then Harrison moved it away. "I want to hear you," he moaned.

"Fucking hell Haz," you let out, as your back arched off the floor, nearing your second orgasm. He quickened his movements of both this hips and his thumb. "Oh Harrison, fuck me," you groaned.

"I'm trying darling," he chuckled. You wanted to roll your eyes, call him an idiot, scold him for joking, anything. But then he kissed your calf, and your not sure why that pushed you so far over, but you clenched around him, with one lase loud moan of "oh Harrison," he moved a few more times, as his thrusts became sloppy and with a grunt you felt him still, finishing into the condom.

He dropped to the floor beside you and laid down, pulling the blanket from your bed to cover your naked bodies. "You thought you would disappoint me?" You asked.

"Wasn't sure," he laughed.

"Well, not to inflate your ego, but, you just took the books for the best shag of my life," you told him. He leaned over pressing his lips to yours, but this was more than a lust filled kiss. It was soft and passionate. You continued to kiss for what felt like hours, lost in his lips and tangled with his body.

He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours, "next time will be better, when I'm not so nervous," he whispered.

"Next time?" You asked, you couldn't even hide the smile on your face.

"I have to confess something," he whispered. You knew what he was going to say before he could even muster the courage to say the words.

"Me too," you whispered, pressing your lips to his, "have for a while," you said against his mouth.

"Liked me?" He asked, pulling away, a shocked look on his face.

"Mhm" you hummed.

"Shit, should have just told me, could have been doing this all the time," he chuckled, reconnecting your lips.

You fell asleep tangled in each other's bodies. Both tired from the activities you had previously partaken in.

You woke up to the sound of the door shutting and bags dropping to the floor. "Harrison?" Tom's voice called out.

"Shit," you muttered, shaking Harrison.

"Hmm?" He groaned.

"Tom and Harry just got home, get up," you instructed. He jumped up, still half asleep. You searched the floor finding a shirt and pulling it over your head, while Haz did the same. You stood up pulling on a pair of pants, looking down you realized you had Haz's clothes on. You looked over to Harrison who had his boxers on and had managed to put your shirt on in his sleepy daze.

"I don't think this is-"

"It's not," you giggled.

Your door swung open, and Harry stood shocked in the doorway.

"Uh, what did I just walk into?" He asked, eyes darting between you and Harrison.

Tom walked up behind him, brows furrowing. "Are you wearing y/n's shirt?" He asked Haz.

Harrison looked down, and then looked back up. "Yeah so, we don't do toxic masculinity in this house, I can wear her clothes if I feel like it," he said proudly. You couldn't help but laugh.

"You two are shagging now?" Harry asked.

"It's about time, the tension between you was getting unbearable," Tom chuckled.

"Tension?" You demanded.

"Oh yes, tension," harry confirmed. You looked over to Harrison who just shrugged. Tom and Harry just laughed walking away from the door.

"Knock next time Harry, don't want you to see something that might scar you," you called after them.

"Gross!" He yelled back

[zkfanworkweek]

ZFAW Fan Content Creator Interviews: HayleyNFoster

Hey everyone! We hope you’re all excited for ZFAW, and to honor (ha!) ZFAW’s commitment to supporting and celebrating fan content creators in the Zutara fandom, we’re going to be rolling out a series of interviews with well-known and widely-beloved content creators over the next few weeks. We’ve got artists and fanfiction authors, some names you recognize as well as a few phenomenal up-and-coming talents, and we can’t wait for you to meet them all!

For the second interview in this cycle, we have our best propaganda creator and this fandom’s hottest new artist/undisputed queen of the animatic, @hayleynfoster!

1. Tell us about how you came to ship Zutara. What does this ship mean to you?

When I was around 14 or 15 and caught Avatar: The Last Airbender on television, I was drawn in by the art style, the humor, and the wonderful characters. I caught the episodes out of order, and the first one I saw and wasn’t prepared to be sucked in by was The Waterbending Scroll. It intrigued me at that age, and the line “I’ll save you from the pirates” combined with the tension between Katara and Zuko in that whole scene was electrifying. I remember my teenage self thinking these two have so much chemistry! And when I saw a commercial on Nickelodeon that featured fanart submitted by fellow Avatar fans, I realized that I could do that to! So I set about making Zutara fanart for myself. I stumbled onto Youtube, practically in its infancy, and discovered that people set clips of Zuko and Katara set to music (And this was still in season 1 days… so people who made these amvs were the real mvps because they were able to make compelling narratives in their amvs with like practically nothing to work with!). The AMVs really spurred my interest in this couple, I remember distinctly one Zutara AMV using the Dido song White Flag utterly capturing my imagination. I found fandom shortly after, getting into deviantart and forums. But the ship really began to mean something to me when, as I was working on my drawings in the computer lab at school, a buoyant presence hovered over my shoulder noticing my Zutara art on the computer screen. The girl was someone I had never really talked to and had only seen from afar but she immediately started excitedly saying she shipped Zuko and Katara too! In this simple shared obsession, I made one of the best friends I’ve ever had and we’re still friends to this day. We would theorize and fangirl over Avatar like it was nobody’s business; we poured over bootleg San Diego Comic Con footage that showed spoilers for season 2 before it aired; we lost our freaking minds when we finally saw The Crossroads of Destiny. We had watch parties every week as Season 3 of A:TLA aired, and comforted each other when the show ended as it did (much ranting was shared). Those are some of my happiest memories from high school… all because this one pairing from this wonderful show. Even though Zutara didn’t happen, we still chat every now and then about it. Zutara will probably be a lifelong obsession, always bubbling under the surface. And without it, I would have never realized that animation was a viable career path. It really did inspire everything including the work I’m doing to this day in the animation industry. I owe a lot to this ship and to Avatar: the Last Airbender.

2. What inspires you to create zutara fanworks?

The resurgence of Avatar: The Last Airbender this year really helped sort of spark that dormant love I had for Zutara. The show’s ending still disappointed me on the rewatch, but Zuko and Katara’s relationship arc was as captivating as ever, so I turned to some fanfiction and looking at people’s pretty Zutara art and AMVs to just revel in fanon instead of getting to hung up on the actual ending of the show. But then I realized, with quarantine and my work load being pretty light, I had time to actually make all new Zutara art for myself, art I was never fully capable of making as a kid, but now could do with my 7 years of industry experience and just… life experience. And I was inspired to do some corrective animatics to satisfy my own desire for a different ending. I just really like exploring these two characters, doing different and interesting things with them, and frankly I’m inspired to make cute, fluffy, romantic art simply by virtue of living in a really sad and depressing world. Things are so crazy right now, creating art about two characters I love being in love, is comforting. And it helps to have inspiring music and amazing Zutara amvs to just sort of stir up my emotions and imagery in my head to make into animatics and art.

3. Be selfish - if you could request one fanwork based on your own art/fanfic, what would it be? What would you absolutely love to see someone create?

Ohhhh… Well, It’s always nice to have people write fanfiction that puts words to my animatics. I am not that great at coming up with dialog myself, so I’ve just chosen to indulge in visuals and emotions for my boards. But when I read things like RideBoldlyRide’s take on my Reunion Animatic, it makes me pretty giddy. (They finally have voices!) :) And this is the MOST selfish thing I could request, but I’m not shy about saying how much I love well done amvs, so I will literally kill for someone to make Zutara AMVs to songs I like… Like, most of AURORA’s songs but especially Exist for Love, Sunseeker by The Naked and Famous, Promises or Take Me by Aly & AJ, Adore You by Harry Styles, Human Enough by ONR, Never Let Me Go by Florence + The Machine, and/or Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier just… I can see the AMVs so clearly to any of these songs in my head, but I don’t have the tools or skill set at my disposal to make a compelling fan video. When I was in high school, I originally thought I wanted to go into video editing simply because I loved making very crappy AMVs (they were so bad you guys), but I figured out being a storyboard artist was more in my wheelhouse. haha

4. Any words for people who are new to the fandom and/or nervous about sharing their work for the first time?

If you’re new to the Zutara fandom, just have a good time! Don’t waste too much time arguing with people over your shipping preferences. I wasted so much of my teen years having pointless shipping wars with people on DeviantArt, and I’m just so much happier nowadays because I’m just making Zutara art in my little corner of the internet, and honestly, in the politest of ways, I don’t give a shit if people don’t like my art or Zutara. haha I think that’s sort of a key thing for people thinking of posting creative works here in the fandom, just make art for yourself, satisfy your own desires for the pairing, get your creative sparks flying, and create just for the joy of creating. It’s always nice to get comments and such, but simply making the art should be what spurs you on, not the external validation. And have a good time, don’t worry too much - I say as someone who worries about EVERYTHING. But honestly, making art for A:TLA is some of the most relaxed I’ve been because I make it just for me. I’m lucky others seem to like it too!

5. What’s an idea for a fanwork that you have but haven't gotten around to making?

I have an idea for a second generation storyline with my Zutara kids that involves Kya (the eldest firebending daughter) falling in love with an airbender boy (tentatively named Gora in my headcanon who’s a bit of a rabble rouser and one of Aang’s kids he had with a Kyoshi Warrior), and then they start a socialist revolution in the Fire Nation in order to dismantle all of the hierarchical societies across the Avatar world… Together Kya and Gora Fan the Flames of revolution… ehhhhh... Get it?? Oh! Oh, and then Katara, who had put in legit liberal reforms in her time as Fire Lady listens to her daughter after resisting in the first part of the story, but then realizes she can actually play a part in the dissolution of the royalty and is also active in the revolution realizing that moderate liberal reforms are no substitute for a society free of serving royalty (which she had always been uncomfortable with but had rationalized with herself that she was doing good in her capacity as Fire Lady.) I just feel like there’s a lot of cool potential for discussing these ideas and also having some aspirational change in the Avatar world. lol For aesthetics and just happy fluffy times, I can indulge in Fire Lady and Fire Lord Zuko stuff, but really at the end of the day, I take issue with the structures in a society that have to exist for monarchies to exist. Soooo, I kind of want to do my own corrective story for that… if I ever have the time or guts. On a less ambitious note, I would love to do a Zutara sparring animatic to practice doing action, but I need a good story; I am not good at doing fights just for fighting’s sake. Those are just some things I have rattling around in my head.  

6. Are you participating in ZFAW? If so want to give us a hint as to your plans?

Yes! The most I can say is I have one animatic almost finished and one that’s still being thumbnailed. The rest are probably going to be comics or emotive single pieces based on the fanfics I really like right now. :)

[retvenkos]

not asking you who you'd ship me with in the grishaverse because at this point everyone on tumblr knows the answer to that probably (though any chance of getting more of your wonderfully divine headcanons about matthias & I is a chance I gleefully take), but since you are shipping everyone I have to tell you that I've been thinking about Mal & you together for a little while. I just see it so clearly??

I think you'd have a relationship quite like Alina and Mal's, except healthier and less dramatic lol. but Mal is the epitome of friends to lovers and to me you embody exactly that. you're not the unbridled fury that enemies to lovers can be nor the bittersweet inevitability of soulmates, but really this idea of familiarity and comfort that you only unlock after spending a lot of time with a person, probably in childhood. Mal would represent exactly that to you: home, family, and love, and you're not really sure how or when you realize that it's not the same love you used to feel at Keramzin, that your feelings have shifted in the most terrifying yet beautiful way, but they have.

so in this scenario if you are Grisha, you get tested and your powers found out and you get sent to the Little Palace and your goodbyes with Mal are probably the most tearful moment Ravka has ever seen. You're holding on to Mal for dear life because he's really your family and you don't want to leave him behind, they're taking you to an unknown place without him, and you're so scared - but Mal tries to hold it all together because he has to be strong for you, and promises he will write to you every day and you will never truly be separated because he'll find you when he's older and strong.

(as soon as the carriage leaves he locks himself in the dormitory and cries all evening on his bed because your absence is so loud in these silent halls)

Inevitably years pass as you continue your training and Mal's letters become more scarce - sometimes you're the one who forgets to reply for a whole month, sometimes it's him - until you're not in touch anymore but you don't forget him, you never do, and you dream of him so often and all the words you wish you could tell him but never got the courage to

Until one day, almost a decade later, he is received at the Grand Palace for a particularly triumphant feat of his (Mal, always the hero) and the King wants to meet the First army soldier everyone is talking about, and you happen to run into him as he's trying to find his way to the audience room (because how stupidly huge are these Os Alta palaces, really?) And you literally can't believe your eyes.

so you'd be getting the childhood friends to lovers reunited after losing contact for many years which is TOP TIER romance

and Mal has changed obviously but not so much, and so have you; and he's taken aback by your beauty in your purple Kefta, and suddenly all the petty and insulting stereotypes about the Second Army he used to joke about with his regiment friends leave his mind because Saints - who needs a Sun Summoner when you're glowing like all the stars in the sky?

you'd quickly fall back into your common habits because they never left you, they're second nature at this point - Mal has basically forged your personality from the youngest age and you have his, and you fit together so perfectly

he'd be assigned to a more permanent post in Os Alta thanks to his prowesses in battle, maybe as the King's personal guard, meaning you'd get to spend so much time together

People would raise eyebrows at the sight of a couple between the two rival armies, but you don't care one bit - your love for Mal runs in your blood much deeper than arbitrary oppositions based on foolish pride.

If you're not Grisha, I don't think you'd join the First Army; war is probably not for you. I think your paths would separate too when he joins the Army and you leave the orphanage with what little money you saved over the years (sneaking out of Keramzin and reciting or singing your poems on the streets for a little bit of coin, or selling the meat and fur Mal would hunt for you) to move to a bigger city and try to do something with your life. You could be an artisan, or another kind of shopkeep! I can see you being manually gifted and creative, so you'd probably have an artsy business in the capital, like pottery or tapestry or painting on porcelain or something of the sort

and once again Mal is called to Os Alta probably for the same reasons - he just can't help distinguishing himself in combat, can he? - and he steps into your shop by total chance, and he's like. Olive???? Since when do you do sculptures???? And you're like. Malyen Oretsev???? Since when are you taller than me????

(Though the sculpture part doesn't surprise him that much, because you were always so creative and gifted in the arts, and he's always admired you so much for it.)

(But the TALL part??? ok, you are short, but you left him when he was like, thirteen and he was Not That Tall. how can your forever friend have grown that tall so fast???)

And so you ALSO get the long-lost childhood friends rekindle and fall back in love trope because my heart goes mushy for it ❤

your dynamic would be on point, because Mal knows you better than anyone and so he can read you like an open book. Either when he needs to find the teasing comment that will get you all riled up, or when he senses your discomfort or sadness and has to find the words to cheer you up.

You'd just make so many sweet memories with Mal, and he'd be down for every single thing you want to do as long as he gets to spend time with you. Want to be rambunctious on the streets of Os Alta and pull pranks on passerbys like you are 8 again? Yep, can totally do that. Feel like breathing in the fresh air of the wilderness and getting out of town to see a beautiful sunset, like you would in Keramzin? Of course! Just want to chill together doing your own thing and relishing in each other's presence? Absolutely.

he loves when you read to him, whether that be a book you own or a story straight from your imagination that you just wrote, and he's absolutely mesmerized by your voice and how much emotion you put in it. (though he can't help himself from making little jokes every now and then or trying to guess what will happen next in the story because he's what my mom calls a Culo Inquieto™)

you'd generally be such a cute couple who never lost that mischievous but oh so comforting and familiar spark from when you were kids, and is willing to stay with the other through thick and thin. you've found your other half in each other and I'm so soft for that. 💜💜

sorry I rambled but I just think that idea is so cute and you deserve a ship! (also, don't even get me started on the Chaos BFF Duo you would make with Jesper...) my head is killing me so I won't write any more but just know I hold this ship in extremely high regard. <3

clara, i will have you know i waited until i got ice cream in order to read this, because i knew it would be an experience™ and now, i,,, 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i'm so goddamn soft, how dare you make me yearn????

you mean to tell me you came up with all of this... for me? you think of ships for me??? how—how dare? how dare you be such a good friend, to the point where i am baffled by your kindness??? how dare you be this thoughtful and poetic,,,,,,, and just, big brained, ma'am.

because all of this is so perfect!!!! ohmygod i'm soft. i'm in love. everytime you write a ship or fanfic, i sincerely wish i was a romantic like you so i could have a proclivity toward fathoming such soft romantic scenes,,,,, you, clara, know how to do a ship™.

(also, i have to say i love the childhood friends torn apart, only to come back together,,,, it has laughter lines by bastille energy,,,, listen to this song and tell me it doesn’t have the same vibes that that very specific and heartwarming trope,,,)

but, since you gave me such a beautiful gift, and since i would do anything for you, here are some more headcanons for you and matthias:

first of all, i think that you and matthias would spend a lot of time finding the beauty in small things. i think that it would be good for him, since he’s reevaluating who he is and his place in this grand world, and i think since you’re a romantic, small things would be important to you both.

— for example, you guys definitely star gaze together. it’s hard, since you are in ketterdam and the smoke is impossible to see through, but maybe you guys leave ketterdam for a while, and you spend a lot of time looking up at the stars. matthias loves to learn about everything you know, and repositioning himself underneath the sky is a good start to figuring out who he is. 

— you also like to sit by the water and talk. there’s something about the water that pulls memories from you both. matthias talks about what it was like, far away, in his little village before the drüskelle. (i get the feeling his dad was a fisherman or something,,,, the vibes are there), and you get to talk about people you once knew, dreams you once had. point is, you do a lot of talking - swapping stories and hopes.

— oh! another idea i can’t get out if my head is that matthias asks you so many questions. i feel like it’s a sign of real love and trust, when matthias starts asking you questions, because you have to be like,,, level 50 in order for matthias to admit weaknesses, and one of his biggest is that there’s so much he just doesn’t know. i think you also get really good at just,,,, telling him stuff so that he doesn’t have to ask, and he really just appreciates it.

i also just love the idea of matthias giving you to strongest hugs, or tbh, just holding you, and it’s all because he’s the big, strong one™! you know he’s got a protector complex, so that kind of feeds into his hugs,,, just that intense need to protect you, but also, he’s deathly terrified of losing another person he cares about, so he clings. (but only when you’re alone. the drüskelle in him is too Proud, but if you hang onto him in public,,,, he’s not complaining, just getting used to it)

okay, but i got a little bit ahead of myself, because i didn’t even talk about when you guys first meet, and the whole dynamic that is that™

— so, clearly, you are bffs with nina, whether your a grisha or not, and since i want fluff oNLY we’re just going to pretend like helnik didn’t happen,,,,,, they’re just friends. anyway, she’s the first one to pick up on your feelings for matthias because a) heartrender, and b) you two are the best of friends, and she just knows.

— and so you know a lot of teasing ensues, and almost everyone gets in on it and constantly makes jokes about you and matthias,,,, sometimes while he’s right. there. you’re Mortified But Coping™ and you can’t imagine what is going on through matthias’ head, because there’s no way he can feel the same, right?

— wRONG, we’re all idiots when we’re in love, and no one is more of an idiot than matthias. he is definitely ~soft~ for you but refuses to let it show because (1) the dregs are crass and he doesn’t want to give them fodder, and (2) you seem very uncomfortable about this whole thing, and he doesn’t want to make it worse

after some time, the teasing dies down, because both of you are too boring to tease. it would be funny if one of you freaked out, but you’re just,,,, suffering in silence. boring. and besides, inej and kaz are way more funny to tease. have you seen the murder in both of their eyes whenever you mention anything??? scary, but golden.

for the most part, the jokes die off, and i think after the jokes stop, you and matthias become much more comfortable with one another, and it leads to so! many! good! moments! 

— did i ever tell you matthias is in love with your stupid humor? your enchanting laughter? you’re so infectiously light and it makes him feel like he’s walking on clouds or something,,,,, he’s enchanted by you, but doesn’t have the words to explain it. 

— you know he remembers all of the little things his dad used to say about his mom,,,, and he feels all of that awed respect and soft warmth for you, but what to do with it???? he can’t really remember what his parents would do - it’s been so long and cold without them, but he tries to remember, and it’s the little things he does. he’ll tell you something really sweet in fjerdan and you’re just like ??? but it doesn’t translate super well, so you’re just left with the way he said it, and it means the world (plus, if you really get the courage, you can ask nina to explain it,,,, fair warning though, she scoffs at it every time. because it’s fjerda, alright?)

— you definitely end up reading him some poetry. it’s all under the guise of him ‘learning about the beauty in other cultures’ but really, it’s just an excuse to read him romantic shu poetry (they really know how to do it, let me tell you). and you also end up telling him stories about your childhood and your life, and he finds your rambling so adorable. especially since he has seen your work on paper! he finds it so sweet that your mind is so full of life that it wants to go everywhere at once, and experience every possible detail.

— you definitely end up showing matthias his way around ketterdam, and he keeps all of your hastily drawn maps, and whenever he goes past a street corner, he remembers the way your eyes sparkled in the light of the streetlamps.

i definitely have the feeling that you confess your feelings first. matthias has been trying to get the courage to do it, but he just can’t, and one day you tell him late at night - when, for just a moment, the world is still and quiet, and you can’t hold in all that warmth in your chest. you’re a little shy about it, but so is he, and when he hears you confess, all he can do is smile, because you have all of the confidence and strength he wishes he had. and all that courage laced in his chest, he’s learned it from you.

that’s ll i got for now, but i believe in clara x matthais supremacy.

[reyloforcebalance]

Confessions of a Rated-T Fanfic Writer

I have something I want to get off my chest as a relatively new member of the fanfiction community (specifically Star Wars and Reylo). At the end of this post, I have a list of my favorite reylo fics, so if you like, just skip to that.

When I started writing fanfiction after The Last Jedi, I wasn’t much of a reader. This article from the Atlantic introduced me to the world of fanfiction, and I gobbled up Forms and Interstellar Transmissions but quickly found reading others’ work made me self-conscious about my own. So, in the interest of preserving my confidence, I focused on writing.  

During this period, I noticed most of the Reylo fandom was interested in rated E or M fics. Explicit fics were the most popular on Ao3 with a significant difference in the amount of attention and praise given to them verses rated T works, and the more I noticed this, the more resentful I grew. It bugged me to know that so many readers would never give my story a shot simply because of its rating.

Then one day on a whim, I clicked on a fic by Kylotrashforevor and got sucked in HARD. I found refuge in AUs because they weren’t set in the Star Wars universe and didn’t make me second guess my own plot choices. It’s like the sky opened up, the sun came out, and suddenly, I understood. I no longer felt resentful of readers who exclusively searched for rated E fics because WHY THE HELL WOULDN’T THEY!? Rated E fics have the whole package— great story, great characters, AND the sexy stuff.

Almost overnight, I became the very reader I hated. I snorted rated E fics like cocaine while barely giving fics with other ratings a glance. I was ashamed of my hypocrisy, but this did little to stop me.

Then, I started noticing a strange pattern. There were several times when I’d start a fic, get really into the plot, but when I got to the smut parts, they were just “so-so.” I glazed over the sex scenes but didn’t feel like I’d been robbed because I enjoyed the story so much the disappointing smut hardly mattered. That’s when it struck me…

Why am I only searching for E-rated fics when I’m clearly enjoying a lot more than that? If I can read an E-rated story and still love it despite so-so smut, why bother limiting myself?

So, I started opening my searches to all ratings and haven’t looked back since. I found rated G and T gems that I kicked myself for after reading because what if I’d never grown out of my stupid rated E exclusivity and missed them!?

So, if there’s a moral to the story, it’s this: You will greatly enhance your fanfiction reading experience if you put your biases aside and try a little of everything. I used to think most rated E fics were smutty trash heaps until I found Kylotrashforevor. I used to think AUs were weird, crossovers were nuts, and crack fics were just worthless. I was WRONG on all accounts. Trying new kinds of stories helped me better appreciate the breadth of talent and creativity in the reylo fandom, and I want to encourage others to do the same. 

So, if you usually read only E or M fics, try giving T and G stories a shot. I think you’ll be surprised by how little you miss the smut.  If you usually read T and under, let me assure you the explicit parts of many M and E fics are easily skipped. Don’t let a couple of sex scenes keep you from some of the best stories out there. Broaden your tastes, and I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Below are links to some of my favorite Reylo fics. In the spirit of this post, they represent a variety of genres and ratings. For simplicity’s sake, I’ve divided it into canon and AUs and noted if the work is incomplete.

Try a little of everything and enjoy!

CANONVERSE

Darkness Rises… And Light to Meet It series by @a-nerd-obsessed. A dark Rey role reversal fic where Rey and Ben grow up together in the Jedi Academy and struggle with their understandings of the Force. My ABSOLUTE favorite. Currently on part 3 of 4.

Higher Ground by @kathknight and Seraphprotocol. Post TLJ fic with hands down THE BEST actions scenes I’ve read in a reylo story.

The Machine by @vespaer77. Post TLJ fic that explores the role of the military industrial complex in the Star Wars universe. Incomplete.

Darkness, Take my Hand by @kathyswizards. Post TLJ fic where the Raddus rams into the Supremacy before Rey can respond to Kylo’s offer to rule the galaxy.

Sky-Marked Souls by AnonymousMink. Post TFA soulmates fic where Kylo and Rey get marks on their skin whenever the other feels physical pain.  

Like Sands Though the Hourglass by @jeenonamit. Someone’s posting Reylo fanfiction to the First Order’s Intranet and Kylo IS NOT pleased.

Pillow Talk by @themoonmoths. Post TLJ fic where the bond brings Rey and Kylo together every night for bed-sharing and conversation. Incomplete.

Strike Me Down by Mericat_Blackwood. Post TFA fic where the spirit of deceased Han Solo is dead set on bringing his son back home. Incomplete.

When the Force Ships It Too by Neuvoreylogirl. Alternate TLJ plotline that pits Snoke and Luke against one another in a galactic Reylo soap opera. Snoke is the worst “cool dad” ever... 

Stand in the Sun Then by @the-reylo-void. A Galaxy’s Edge-inspired fic where Kylo notices a certain three-bunned hairstyle has become very popular on Batuu.

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

First Order IT, Can I Get Your User ID? by krossartist/ @theeamazingem. Mechanic Rey likes her job except for when the computer screws up and she has to call her least favorite IT guy for help.

Fireflies by quixoticlux. ABO meets Mansfield Park meets Clueless when high school Rey can’t stop crushing on her cousin Ben. Incomplete.

Nine Lives by on_my_toes. Doctor Ben becomes increasingly concerned when he notices the barista at his favorite coffee shop has a habit of putting herself in harm’s way.

Stay Out of Trouble by Deathtoallstars. Cop Ben keeps arresting the same wily college kid who always seems to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Incomplete.

Bleeding Edge by Succubusybody. Westworld meets Stepford Wives in a dark fic where Rey takes care of scientist Ben’s every need until she makes a shocking discovery.

Can’t Turn Off What Turns Me On by audreyii_fic. Omega Rey and Alpha Ben come together during her heat and an intense connection sparks.

Miles from Where You Are by Mooncactus. Rey and Kylo get into an online battle about Star Wars films.

Nevertheless, She Persisted by @dawninthemtn. Campaign staffer Rey is tasked with keeping an eye on her boss Leia Organa’s aloof son. Incomplete. 

Self-Inserted by @kylotrashforever. College student Rey happens upon journal belonging to Ben Solo, an old crush from high school she assumed hates her. As it turns out, he doesn’t…

Epithumia  by Pontmercy44. Engineering student Rey keeps falling asleep in Introduction to Classical Art and Literature. Professor Solo is less than pleased.

[no-droids]

You probably heard this a lot but your writing is so amazing it's literally god tier omg 💖 If you don't mind answering, do you have any writing tips? I really wanna improve my writing and try to be as good as you. (keyword: try)

oh god uh

so here’s a little list of stuff I PERSONALLY do, but please remember everybody writes differently and that’s a GOOD THING so this might not work for everybody

1. Skip around

Sometimes you just get a SCENE, like one specific scene in your head that you want to write. Write it out, and if it doesn’t end up working in the fic, copy and paste it into a different document and keep it, because it’s very possible (and LIKELY) that you’ll use it later in the story. It’s a way of pre-planning if you’re not one of those authors that likes to plan a strict outline at the very beginning, at least you’ll have a general roadmap based off scenes you’re imagining and have already partially written. I have a close friend who works for a publishing company and she always told me to start as close to the end as possible when you’re writing. It’ll not only encourage you to have a fluid, overarching plot line already thought out, but if you put all your effort and energy into writing an impeccable beginning, your story will gradually lose that spark as you go on.

2. Take a solid break between writing and editing

If you can swing it, try not to look at your story for a few days after you’ve finished writing the first draft. If you wait, the words will hit differently and it’ll allow you to edit as if you have a fresh set of eyes. Sometimes that isn’t possible, especially if you’re like me and procrastinate hardcore, but that also leads into my next tip

3. Write when you’re tired, edit when you’re awake

You’d be surprised at how fluidly the words will come when you’re not awake enough to focus on them. Seriously. Writer’s block can hit, and that SUCKS, but I’ve noticed a lot of that can just be due to you being overcritical of your work WHILE you’re writing it. You can totally be a writer AND an editor, but you can’t do both at the same time. It’ll hinder your creativity and stunt your progress, and it’s a hard mindset to escape. That’s why I usually write really late at night, sleep, and then edit the next day.

4. Actually write

This is an important one, kinda self-explanatory. It’s also usually the one people struggle with the most. Writing is hard. It’s HARD. It takes brainpower and determination to do, it doesn’t just come naturally. STORYTELLING is a natural human instinct, coming up with ideas and sharing them with friends, but actually taking the time to write it DOWN and make it COHERENT and COMPLETE is something altogether different. It’s exhausting and sometimes you just don’t want to do it. Do it anyways. Think about the end goal, not the effort it’ll take to get there. Keep writing, keep adding a sentence or paragraph or page every single day, and the more progress you make, the easier it’ll become. Lastly,

5. Set deadlines

This one is a little bit of a catch 22 and I don’t recommend it for everyone. This is only if you struggle with perfectionism and feel like you’ve spent literal MONTHS to YEARS on a single piece of work because it’s just not there yet. If you’ve had a document that you’ve been working on for a long ass time and you haven’t published it, set a deadline for posting. ANNOUNCE the deadline, even if you don’t have many followers who are paying attention. It might be a little anxiety inducing to set a date for yourself without having it finished, but it will force you to drop that perfectionist streak that’s stunting your work and buckle down instead. Again, THIS IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. I just personally was one of those fanfic authors that had 22 unfinished google docs and zero of them published after years of writing. I started setting deadlines for myself, and now I actually get to share my stuff with yall instead of hiding it away and being too critical about it. Deadlines. Deadlines suck, but they encourage productivity in some individuals, and I happen to be one of them.

Try some of these things out, see if they help any!! 🧡🧡

[sweet-evie]

Hi, WBAD!! Firstly, I want to say that I truly enjoy your fics. They're entertaining, well-written, and I look forward to reading more of your work. Your stories have actually been giving me the desire to pick up where I left off and resume my own CluClu stories... But unfortunately, I'm having a hard time with motivation. I always have story and next chapter ideas in my head but it's getting the words to flow that is the issue. So, I was wondering... What advise would you give? Thanks.

Hellooooo~ Thank you for your kind words, for reading my fics, and for finding them entertaining no matter how messy they are. 😂😅

Your stories have actually been giving me the desire to pick up where I left off and resume my own CluClu stories...

I'm flattered, and honestly don't understand how my messy fics and awkward writing help, but I'm glad that it does, in whatever way, shape, or form. 😅

But unfortunately, I'm having a hard time with motivation. I always have story and next chapter ideas in my head but it's getting the words to flow that is the issue. So, I was wondering... What advise would you give?

Honestly, same 🤣😂 But before I say (or type) anything more, take my advice with a grain of salt. Because what might work for me might not work for others, and vice-versa.

You're not alone in the dry-spells though. I have a hard time with motivation too -- especially when it comes to finishing multi-chapters. I'm extra careful with those because I have a shameful track record of incomplete fics from my old FFN account, and I'm sad that the habit bled through in my WBAD account. Like, I didn't finish the 1st WIP for Code Geass, and the 1st Vampire AU fic I wrote for CG either.

Anyways~ If word flow is the issue, that's a bit tough; because every writer has their own method on how to get out of the rut.

Me, personally, I read novels from bestselling authors. My automatic and favorite go-tos are Sarah J. Maas, George R. R. Martin, Becca Fitzpatrick, and Lauren Kate.

Try:

1. Reading published books from bestselling authors

Every word on those books are their own, and they have the aid of a publishing house, editors, proofreaders, etc (basically a writing team) to produce literary work for mass consumption. So, they're usually good resources for vocabulary, figures of speech, storytelling, creative descriptions, structure, etc.

Plus, it's also refreshing to see different characters and whatnot.

2. Listening to music

It's rare (or common, depending on who you are), but sometimes there will be lines in songs that would just light the creative spark. It's weird and random, but it can happen. It happened for me, multiple times. It's just very inconvenient when I'm in the middle of other important tasks and I get hit with an epiphany because of some song playing on Spotify. 😅

3. Reading fanfics for the same show, but a different genre

Getting comfortable with your main cast of characters is fun and all, but it's a little dangerous too (again, just speaking my own opinion and experience). I find that if I'm too close to Lelouch and C.C. (as characters), I develop a habit of writing them in a specific way every single time. It's like I stuck them in a mold in my head, and now they refuse to budge if I want changes.

Ergo, word flow that feels clunky and overused.

Point is, maybe try taking a step back and read other genres or about other characters. As much as I love Lelouch and C.C., I read stuff for other CG characters too. One, because it offers a refreshing change in perspective; and two, it's interesting to read about how different fanfic writers portray different characters in different genres.

4. Leave it. Pick it up later.

Sometimes issues in word flow happen because you're just not in the mood. It's sort of a hard fact to swallow, especially when you know you want to write, but when you're not in the mood, you're just not in the mood.

Don't force it.

5. Just write. Do something else that makes you happy. Come back and edit.

#5 is what I've been doing a lot lately. If I can't bring myself to leave it because I know it needs to get done, I just write whatever is in my head without thinking about quality, but knowing that I'll come back and edit later.

And it works! XD Most times, anyway. You get a front-row seat of how different your mindset is when you take a break and do something else and then come back in a refreshed mental state.

Like, I'm writing part 6 of The Chaining Booth right now and I know it needs to get done for the sake of the requestor who's been waiting on my sluggish ass. I want to finish it, but I want it to be decent too. So I have parts of the story written down, some dialogue sprinkled through the chapter + plot notes, and then I'll leave it for a while to play video games or read a book or watch a YouTube video, and then I come back with a much better mental state -- more prepared to write descriptions and figure out the next string of words that need to go wherever.

With that said,

I hope that was some form of help, and I don't trust myself when it comes to these things.

Regardless, I wish you the best in your own fanfic writing for CLuCLu. 🤗😁 And if you've published fics before (WIP or complete on FFN or AO3), perhaps you're one of the writers I've come to love and enjoy reading from too~

Thank you! 🥳

[caitlinsnicket]

Bittersweet Tragedy pt. 2

Part one | Part three | Part four

Request: Would it be possible for you to perhaps so a part two to Bittersweet Tragedy? Perhaps it's set a while into the future and Jaskier and the reader have settled down proper (or as close as) like they promised eachother, and Geralt shows up all apologetic or something. Creative credit goes to you 💖

Characters: Jaskier, Geralt of Rivia, Y/N, Ciri (?).

Warnings: Angst, comfort, cuteness, found family, more crying, Jaskier and Geralt finally talking, Ciri being a cutie, maybe one cuss word. 

Pairing: Jaskier x Y/N.

A/N: Hi. I’m late. So, what happened: I lost the will to write fanfic, got wrapped up in online school stuff, books I was dying to read (sharp objects is so fucking good) and sleeping, and I didn’t write it as soon as I thought I would. But I finished this piece. Yay. Now, here’s what I have in my drafts: Helena Betinelli NSFW alphabet, a Benverly one-shot, a Rey imagine based on a song, and that idea of some Caine Wise fanfic is still there. Yay. 

Anyway, feel free to like, reblog or leave a comment! Also, requests are open!

Waking up to Jaskier’s singing was a blessing. When he wasn’t just messing around, actually paying attention and putting passion into his songs and melodies, he can make the most beautiful pieces. That morning, when I woke up to the noises of the town waking up too, Jaskier’s voice muffled it all and I couldn’t help but smile.

After getting up and doing my morning stuff, I walk down the stairs to see Jaskier bent over his lute, looking for some papers, taking notes. He prepares himself to start singing again but stops dead in his tracks when he sees me at the bottom of the stairs. 

His eyes light up like two suns in the middle of the sea.

“Every time I see you, my love, it’s like someone is punching me in the stomach. You take all the air out of me, every drop of blood from my veins, my entire being, everything is yours. And I know it in my bones, I will love you until the end of my days...”

“Love, you’ve already charmed me, we already live together and we sleep in the same bed every night. You don’t need to keep saying these things” I say, trying not to blush. I was completely comfortable with Jaskier now, but it was hard not to react when he started to say those things.

Before he can say anything more, I walk up to him and I held his face in my hands. He looks like a puppy, and I softly kiss him. I can feel him shivering, and his lips feel soft and warm against mine, but before he can get me on top of his lap, I interrupt the kiss. Now he actually looks like a puppy.

“I have to go to the market, we are out of bread, but we can continue this when I come back”.

I can hear his gasp of excitement when I turn around to the door, and before I leave I get the bag of coins. Suddenly, he grasps my hand and pushes me flush against him, catching my lips on his, leaving me breathless. He rests his forehead against mine and we giggle together.

“Have I told you I love you today?”.

I pretend to think for a moment, and then I look back into his eyes.

“No. But you can tell me later”.

I leave before he can catch me again.

Getting back with the basket full of bread, and I open the door trying to be silent: I wanted to surprise him. But before I could keep projecting my plan, I hear a second voice coming from the living room. Not just any voice, a male, deep voice, that I knew like I knew Jaskier’s and that I sometimes heard in my dreams.

Something goes cold inside of me, like the fire in my heart just went out. My blood ran cold, and a sudden urge to protect Jaskier from any harm, especially from the kind of harm that *he* could cause.

I storm into the house, throwing the basket on the table and going directly to the living room. Even though I knew what to expect, I still stop dead on my tracks when I see the white hair and the wide shoulders. It was like no time had passed. It was like he never had left. For one second, I felt a small spark inside my chest.

Then, it died.

“And just what the hell do you think you are doing here?”.

He looks at me, and his eyes are a mess: a mixture of sadness, surprise, hope, and regret. I always had a very easy time reading people, and Geralt was no different, but right now it only made me mad. He had no right to be there, after all, he was the one that sent us away. I was so angry at that moment that I almost didn’t notice the girl sitting on the couch.

“Y/N, they need help”.

“And why is that our business? Did you forget that we are completely useless and burdens?”.

A dead silence falls into the room. Of course, Jaskier would forgive him right way, after all, he loved Geralt. And I did too. But words leave scars and those that he said burned into my soul. Jaskier looked to his feet, and I knew it was painful for him to remember what had happened, but he had to be reasonable. Geralt avoided my gaze like the plague. Before I can say anything else, the stomach of the girl makes a loud noise, and I finally take a good look at her.

Her hair was the same color as Geralt’s. Her eyes were unusual, too, and her face was dirty. She also looked tired, like she hadn’t been sleeping well. I sigh deeply, and I’m sure I’ll regret this later.

“You make the meal,” I say, pointing to Jaskier “You stay here with him,” I tell Geralt, not looking at his face “And I’ll fix you a bath” I look at the girl, who seeks for Geralt’s gaze for approval.

He gruffs and nods, and she gets up to follow me. I point to the stairs, and she goes silent. Jaskier has already gone to the kitchen, and I know he must be hurt, but I’m not ready to talk to Geralt just yet. I can hear Geralt taking a breath to speak something.

“Don’t. If you open your mouth right now, I’ll punch you and I’ll throw you out of this house”.

He shuts his mouth, and I follow the girl upstairs.

I wait on the outside of the bathroom, waiting for the girl (Ciri, she told me) to get out. I managed to wash her clothes, but they weren’t dry yet, so she would have to wear one of my dresses, which obviously were too big for her. The smell of food got to my nose, and I suddenly became very aware of Geralt’s presence in our house.

But I had all the right to be mad at him. He had treated us horribly, and the only reason I had let him stay was Ciri. He had to learn that his actions had consequences. Plus, before he showed up, the pain of thinking about him had almost disappeared. Before I could keep thinking in ways to hurt Geralt physically, with a chair or a shoe, the bathroom door opened revealing the girl wrapped in a towel.

She was thin like she had been underfed for a while. Her hair was wet, and now that her face was clean, some scars were visible. Probably had been in some battles. And her eyes. It was like looking at a big ocean of secrets. But it was as easy to read her as it was easy to read Geralt. She was nervous, but also curious. 

“You can use this dress, it’s a little big for you, but is the smallest I have,” I tell her, handing her the dress.

“This is more than enough ma'am. Thank you for your hospitality. Geralt mentioned that you... parted ways in bad terms” she said, taking the dress from me and looking to the floor.

Did he mention? Since when Geralt *mentioned* something?

“Yes, we did. But I wouldn’t let you starve. I’m not a monster” I comment, fiddling with my fingers “So, what else did he mention? Something about bad singing and dead weight?”.

She goes silent.

“He said that he had made a terrible mistake with you and the bard. But he was going to try and fix it. About the singing... he said it was irritating, but that it was also beautiful”.

It was my turn to be silent. She smiles at me and goes into the bathroom again. Something inside my chest went warm again.

We walk down the stairs, and they’re waiting for us, already sat in the table. Jaskier looks conflicted as if he didn’t know what to feel. I didn’t either. Ciri went to Geralt’s side, and I could feel his gaze on my face. I started to put the meal on my plate. Jaskier shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“Y/N, sweetheart, Geralt wants to talk to us-”

“I don’t have anything to tell him. I’m not talking to him. If he wants to talk to someone, he can talk to his friends. Oh, wait. He dumped them”.

It hurt. The air in the place got dense, and for one second, everything stopped. Then Geralt’s hand touched mine. I couldn’t bring myself to flinch.

“You don’t have to talk. Just listen. Look, I’m not... I’m not good at this talking thing. Or expressing things. I’m even worst at apologizing. But the things I told to you guys were... too much. Too cruel. I was hurt” I got ready to yell at him, but he cut me “and I know it doesn’t justify anything. And that’s why I’m here. After finding Ciri, I realized the mistake I made. So we’ve spent the last months tracking and trying to find you guys. So I could tell you”.

I felt my eyes watering. His hold on my hand was gentle, and I couldn’t help but remember the good times. It still hurt, but he seemed so... sincere?

“Tell me what?”.

I was shaking. Scared. I wasn’t ready to have my heart broken again. Not by him. Jaskier’s hand touched my arm, and suddenly I felt the urge to hug everyone.

“That I’m sorry. For breaking your hearts. For sending you away. For everything”.

I feel one tear fall from my face, and Jaskier tenses by my side, waiting for my reaction. Ciri had a small smile on my face. Geralt looked scared, and his hand squeezed mine, gently.

I smile.

“I’ve already forgiven you, Geralt. A long time ago. I’m still hurt, yes, but you are forgiven”.

After that dinner, they spent one week with us. I was still wary of him sometimes, but slowly it became like the old times. Even Ciri adapted herself to our chaotic lifestyle. And, sometime later, the four of us left the town and began to travel again. Geralt still got annoyed at Jaskier sometimes, and we fought very often, but now there was a silent agreement that we would never hurt each other again. Because we loved each other. Even if we didn’t say it out loud, we all knew. 

Because our family was settled, made and lived by love.